#i really don't want or need to see another post about wanting to 'decapitate' one of my fav characters

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s5 episode 10 thoughts

after yesterday's trees that ate people, i am curious to see where we are going. however, i have heard that this episode and the 2 after it are very good, so i am excited to see where this takes us.

post-episode review: another contender for my (now crowded) best episodes of all time list! but take us back to yesterday...

let's read the description here... oh! this happens in a coastal town in maine? are we going to see BEACH mulder and scully? oh! this is giving me many ideas!

and yes, the description also mentions a girl and a doll i assume to be evil, but hey! maine! salt water taffy! seashells! lobsters! moose! blueberries! a quaint little motel!

ah, can you picture it? oh, do i need to write some sort of vacation fic? has this seed been planted? and will it continue to grow?

let us find out!

this girl (polly) has a creepy doll. she is glaring at her mother (melissa). she must not want to go shopping. don’t make eye contact, old lady who walks by them. that child has an evil spirit. i can tell. 

“i don’t like this store, mommy” <- so does she like other stores? other grocery stores? can she sense something here that displeases her? her mother clarifies that they will only be a minute 

ohhhh, when she says she wants to go home, the doll’s eyes open. don’t care for that. AND THE DOLL TALKS?? 

poor mom sees visions of the butcher stabbing himself in the eye?? and the cart’s wheels go wild!!!

“please, don’t do this to mommy”, melissa begs her child <- so she KNOWS that her daughter and/or the doll are somehow responsible for all this??? GIRL!!! she just needs to eat!! they haven’t invented doordash yet!! how will polly get her food?? does she have to go to a different, polly and doll approved, grocery store?? or must they simply starve??

ohhh OH THIS WOMAN IS CLAWING OUT HER EYES??? WHAT IS WITH THE EYES!? 

EVERYONE IS CLAWING OUT THEIR EYES!!!! AUGH AUGH AUGH WHAT THE FUCK, POLLY????? 

the butcher (dave) tries to call 911- somehow he is able to resist the call to scratch- but the fucking DOLL IS ON THE OTHER LINE???

girl. that doll needs to be thrown in the ocean NOW. you can’t be doing this to my boy dave. 

NOOOO HE REALLY DOES STAB HIMSELF IN THE EYE 💔

bleurgh. bleeeugh. pour one out for dave.

and to think! i was just pondering saltwater taffy and the dynamics of coastal msr!!

ohhh, but this little town is so cute!!!! is scully on vacation???

OHHH SHE’S GETTING GAS FOR HER FANCY CAR IN A MAINE T SHIRT AND SUNGLASSES <3 ohhh…. ohhhhh… vacation scully… i am holding her so gently

(she must have been so excited to get that silly little souvenir shirt if she had it on before she even got there... and i love that for her)

who calls her at this hour? (as if we need to ask!)

“mulder, i thought we had an agreement. we were both going to take the weekend off” (he is fully in his office playing around with his chair) LMAOOOO

this man physically cannot relax. “right, right, right, i know. but i-i-i just received some information about-about a case” <- at least he seems self-conscious about the fact that he is breaking their agreement

AWW, SHE JUST WANTS TO CHILL 

“you didn’t rent a convertible, did you?” “why?” “are you aware of the statistics of decapitation?” <- grown ass man playing on a chair when he says this, btw. please worry about yourself.

(it is so funny how badly he wanted to hear her voice but cannot bring himself to talk about normal human conversation topics, such as the vacation she is about to embark upon)

LMAO SHE INFORMS HIM THAT SHE IS HANGING UP LIKE HE IS A SMALL CHILD!!! AND HE SEEMS SURPRISED WHEN SHE DOES

aww, the poor man is just a loser!

(reading these notes back for editing purposes and i am STILL laughing. god, he's such a nerd.

he's thinking, "hey, i know we promised to not talk about work for 2 whole days, but i missed you. do you want to talk about work? please don't get decapitated, honey. oh man, she hung up on me :("

meanwhile, she's thinking "for the love of god. just let me have a nice vacation. yes, mulder, you want to solve a mystery, but i need a break. no, i won't get my head cut off. okay, i'm saying goodbye now. GOODBYE.")

she rolls off in her convertible. which is a mustang, btw. serve. and melissa and polly nearly run her over. she looks pissed at their erratic driving.

woah! she is at the store where the eyeball gouging just took place. she finds all of the grocery store customers with blood on their faces!!!! but luckily, most seem to have intact eyeballs.

NOOO, DAVE THE BUTCHER MIGHT BE DEAD and his eyeball is very much not intact

damn. so much for a chill vacation.

(author's note: it's so funny to me how scully was not going to let this stop her from chilling. she was going to get right back to the beach after watching a grocery store full of people claw at their own eyeballs. me, i would have been calling the whole trip off and heading home after seeing such a horrible sight. her need to relax after so many years of alien nonsense is unmatched. not even demon doll could come between this queen and her vacation)

cutscene to mulder in his office, where a distinct moaning noise is coming from his TV. oh god. and he’s sitting there with sunflower seeds. LMAO?? he’s just sitting and watching.... this. not even doing anything but snacking. 

NOOOO SHE CALLS AND HEARS IT 💔 “what are you watching, mulder?” OH GOD WHAT IS HE GONNA SAY?

he claims to be watching “the deadliest swarms” <- utterly gagged at that man watching porn while just sitting in his office. stone-faced. and then lying about it. what does this say about his character?

BUT IT REALLY WAS DEADLIEST SWARMS LMAOOOO THE MAN AND WOMAN MOANING HAVE BEES IN THEIR FUCKING EYES I’M CRYINGGGGG

my asexual king. i should have never doubted you.

(author's note: still losing my mind at this as i edit, btw. i was fully convinced that mulder brought porn to his office to watch at work on the weekend, and i was thinking "well, it's not the STRANGEST thing he's done" but no. he's at work on the weekends to watch bugs sting people in the eyeballs. for research purposes. god. what a guy. i wish i could have a glimpse into if scully believed his statement or not. have they talked about this TV program before? is this what he does with his very limited time off?)

“it sounds to me like that’s witchcraft or maybe some sorcery that you’re looking for there”, he comments. “no, i don’t think it’s witchcraft, mulder, or sorcery” (said while the local policemen look on in shock at her saying those words) LMAOOO

“yeah, well, maybe you don’t know what you’re looking for”

“like evidence of conjury or the black arts, or shamanism, divination, wicca, or any kind of pagan or neo-pagan practice? charms, cards, familiars, bloodstones or hex signs, or any of the ritual tableaux associated with the occult, santeria, vodoun, macumba, or any high or low magic?” <- LMAO she said i’ve been taking notes on your theories, boy

“scully?” “yes?” “marry me” “i was hoping for something a little more helpful” <- LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO GOD. the way her face doesn’t even change while his looks SO FUCKING SERIOUS. he's in awe of her. hold on. i had to rewatch that like three times. i'm absolutely HOWLING over here.

and to be fair, had she said that string of words to me on the phone as well, i would have reacted in the same way! i cannot fault him there.

while watching the footage of what went down at the grocery store, she notices that melissa is the only one who seems unaffected. the police seem to not believe that means anything until she politely points out that maybe they should talk to melissa about the whole situation, and then she tries to get tf out of there LMAOOO she is not going to let ANYTHING interrupt vacation time!!!!

“people here say she’s a witch” “well, that’s not the first time for that accusation in these parts” <- LMAO GET HIM AGAIN FOR ME

ohhhh, the cop says that melissa was “carrying on” with dave the butcher… who is now dead… well! that is deeply suspicious!!!

a policeman named buddy is trying to call melissa while polly and the doll listen to some old timey music. polly COMMANDS her to hang up. i fear the consequences for what will happen if melissa continues her chat.

nooooo :( buddy the cop tells melissa that dave is dead… but the doll is speaking now, because polly is being ignored!!! melissa says he can’t come here, but buddy insists on coming. 

so, again, it seems melissa knows that the doll is committing the crimes….

scully arrives with the other cop, named jack, to melissa and polly's house. scully is in her killer outfit of: blazer, maine t shirt, and sunglasses. looking like a million bucks. she proceeds to do the cop's job better than he does when she notices the backdoor is wide open. 

feels so strange to see scully in jeans. i make note of this special occasion

ohhh, she’s in the little girl’s room which could be sensitive for her... but she seems fine. 

(author's note: i keep getting jarred by how much they are NOT acknowledging the whole emily plotline... here i was thinking that this child's room would bring scully to tears and she's just looking around, observing as always... the writers truly did not give a damn)

lore reveal: melissa’s husband died in a boating accident… or did he…?

allegedly, polly is autistic, and the daycare lady slapped her across the face after a tantrum!!! what!! you can’t do this!! scully seems shocked to hear of the slapping (but she keeps it very professional, as she always does) and then MORE shocked to hear that the daycare lady was knocked on the ground. by the little girl. but the cop said she never touched her.

yes, i am sure that the ghost doll can do impossible things, even attacking old ladies. the daycare lady got fired for the slapping (well, yes!) and the people call melissa a witch as a result (um... not her fault?)

(why are there so many people named melissa in this show? could we not get a little creative? did the writers only know of 3 or 4 names? crack open a yearbook or one of those baby names books that writers use, damn!)

omg, so the tea is that dave had a WIFE, but was still trying to get with melissa!!! but melissa did not want him like that. a queen who stays in her lane.

scully notices that the windows are all nailed shut. maybe melissa nailed the windows in because she was afraid of something getting out…? like an evil ghost doll?

buddy gives the girl polly some ice cream as he tries to question melissa in this restaurant. buddy offers to give melissa some money so she can get away. is this, like, a kindness thing? oh no, he’s in love with her, seems like. says he missed his first chance around. well. i guess we can never have a man doing the right thing out of sheer selflessness. this is TV, after all.

she says she has seen things… meanwhile polly is DEMANDING more cherries from the ice cream lady. (and polly has strange taste. i like those cherries too, but they're very strong; one or two will do the job)

melissa tells buddy that she saw dave dead before he died! and it wasn’t the first time!!! she saw her husband before he died, too! buddy seems to take this news better than expected.

ohhh, this lady at the ice cream counter says polly has to ask her mom for money to buy more cherries… i assume she does not have much longer to live

the doll opens its eyes IN THE RESTAURANT, and melissa says it’s time to go, knowing what is about to go down. buddy tries to give her a key to a place they used to go hunting, but NOOOOOO, the ice cream lady’s head is stuck in the ice cream machine!!!!!!!

melissa takes polly and the doll and they book it.

this is an injustice to food service professionals everywhere.

the other cop guy- the one named named jack- is visiting jane, the old lady from the very beginning of the episode who briefly made eye contact with polly. and scully is here too!!

okay, so jane immediately launches into saying that melissa is from a line of witches. cool, cool. this must be the lady who ran the daycare. scully looks amused as she slams the door in their faces and remarks on “new england hospitality” lmaooo

(she claims she's heard about it all her life, but never experienced it- is this her first journey to new england? like, recreationally, and not for work? omg! the cali girl is being exposed to the northeast! culture shock! she is learning the ways of mulder and his people!)

ah yes, we see as they leave that the sign on the door of jane’s house shows it’s the daycare. well, FORMER daycare.

scully wants to know if this lineage of witches thing is really all talk. and the policeman jack cannot figure out why he would want to bring melissa in. LMAO despite him being entirely incompetent at his job, scully does NOT WANT TO HELP I’M CRYING. she is PROTECTING HER PEACE!!!

melissa and polly pull up to the cabin buddy gave them the key to. ohhh, she doesn’t have any gear… and it’s winter up here. girl! how will they eat!!

polly wants her BED and her RECORDS, and the doll is AWAKE. so now melissa’s racing home after seeing a dead jane in her rear window!!!

back at her home, the records are going off… jane is here, for some reason, perhaps to investigate the loud noises despite there being no one home... and when she takes off the record off the player…. NOOOO, NOT HER STABBING HERSELF WITH THE BROKEN RECORD!!!!!!!!!!!!

scully is taking a nice bubble bath, trying to relax… with some classical music…. but the phone is ringing!!! she slams the door with her foot LMAO and awww she gets out and wraps her hair in a towel <3 i love relaxed scully <3

wait, hold on, what is this book next to the phone…? allow me to pause. “affirmation for women who do too much” by adrianna carrillo… now hold on, i need to look into this… 

okay, so it doesn’t seem to be a real book, but instead a play on “meditations for women who do too much”, which has a very similar book cover and was published in the 90's. huh. the more you know! i wonder if copyright laws prevented the prop team from having the real thing.

we all know that she is, in fact, a woman who does too much. so i am glad she is affirming herself.

anyway, what was going on? yes, evil doll. there's a message on the phone. she does not play it. SHE DOES TOO MUCH ALREADY!!!!

AND the policeman jack is at her door!!! noooooo, she cannot get a break!!

they find jane dead with the record player…. they're investigating at the crime scene when the cop gets a call and says "it's for you"

LMAOOO, HOW DID MULDER FIND THE POLICEMAN’S NUMBER, I’M CRYING???

(AND he says he called the hotel!! how did he find the hotel room's number?? he is a sleuth)

“hey, morning, sunshine!” he says happily (loud thumping over the phone) BAHAHA WHAT IS GOING ONNN?

he was worried about her!!! LMAOOOOO HE SAYS THEY’RE DOING CONSTRUCTION RIGHT OUTSIDE HIS WINDOW, BUT HE WAS REALLY JUST BOUNCING HIS BASKETBALL BAHAHAA

awwww, he really WAS worried... he gets separation anxiety. that damn ball of his gets good use when he is nervous!!

omg… we finally get a decent look at his wall art while he is standing there in his underwear…. it’s just houses. sort of abstract, colorful, houses. with heavy lines. hmm. i will make assumptions on his character based on this.

BAHAHA AND MULDER THINKS THERE’S A SCIENTIFIC EXPLANATION FOR HER CASE oh my gosh he thinks it’s dancing sickness KING, SHE KNOWS WHAT THAT IS!!!

why is the only thing this man has in his fridge a bottle of orange juice? and it is presumably expired, because he makes an awful face when he takes a sip, and then we see that it says “oct 97” on the carton, which i take it is not. so is this set in 98? early 98? since we just passed chrismas?

god. how has he stayed alive this long? is there some sort of cafeteria at the FBI he sustains himself with?

LMAO HE SPITS THE JUICE BACK OUT AND SHE HANGS TF UP BAHAHAAA

she has had enough!! she called this guy jack and said maybe we need to keep our minds open to extreme possibilities (gasp!) LMAOOO “okay, but aren’t you on vacation?” <- SHE NEEDS A RAISE!! MAYBE IF YOU COULD DO YOUR JOB, JACK, SHE COULD TAKE A VACATION FOR REAL!!

now polly and the doll are back at home, and OH, the doll is breathing as the two sleep next to each other. this is not something that i care for. melissa is trying to do something to stop the doll's reign of terror, but it opens its eyes and catches her…. so she cries downstairs. NO! not a dead buddy vision!!!!

LMAOOO meanwhile scully is utterly gagged at the size of this lobster she’s splitting with jack: “that looks like something out of jules verne. we’re supposed to eat that?” <- SHE’S SUCH A NERD I’M CRYINGGGG

she really is experiencing new england culture shock and it is hilarious

she’s trying to learn about melissa’s husband’s death as jack manhandles this lobster. the boat he died on is out the window…

this damn doll keeps replaying the hokey pokey over and over again. count your days, demon!!!

ohhh, buddy is here at melissa's place to take her into the station!!! and he sees the doll open her doll eyes….

scully is trying to figure out wtf went down the night melissa’s husband died, as she now talks to this grizzled old sailor who was there with him on that fateful evening

“i told my story to the chief”, he says; “people’s story’s change”, she answers <- ohhhh yeah, she IS a noir detective, yes ma’am!

omg, melissa's husband/polly's dad found that freaky ass doll in the ocean!!! it was the night before polly's birthday, so he thought it was a gift from the sea!! and he heard the doll talking…. and then the old grizzled fisherman found melissa’s husband with the HOOK THROUGH HIS SKULL BLEUGGHHH?

(this episode was funny but the gore was SHEESH)

ohhh, and he put together that the doll was involved when he saw them in the store that morning

(her phone rings) “oh hey, i thought you weren’t answering your cell phone” he’s TWIRLING the literal phone line while he calls her i’m CRYING this man is down TERRIBLE

OHHH HE IS TRYING TO FIND ANOTHER SCIENTIFIC EXPLANATION WHEN SHE ASKS IF THERE ARE ANY REFERENCES IN OCCULT LITERATURE TO EVIL DOLLS LMAOOOO

he starts explaining and then she says that she “was just curious”, probably because his heart would be broken if he knew she found a haunted doll without him. turns out there is quite a history of them in new england!

“i would suggest that you check the back of the doll for a-a plastic ring with a string on it” (she rolls her eyes and hangs up) 

LMAOOOOOO STOP my face hurts from smiling at this episode. why is he like that!

poor melissa is crying, making popcorn at the stove for the screaming polly, while BUDDY IS DEAD ON THE FLOOR!!!!!! NO MELISSA!!

she hammers the windows and doors shut even more…. but the doll cannot stand the pounding!!! and melissa sees herself dead in the window!!!! nooo!

scully and jack roll up just in time to either save the day or watch it get much, much worse. 

omfg is melissa gonna set the whole house on fire?????? but she can’t get a match to light!!!! the doll keeps blowing it out!!!

from outside the house, scully sees buddy dead on the floor!!!! and the doll won’t let melissa grab a knife!!!! but the demon doll somehow opens up the locked cabinet and gets the hammer!!!!

scully is absolutely SLAMMING herself into that door to open it, but NOOOO the doll says “i don’t like you anymore” and makes melissa take the hammer and JAM IT IN HER OWN FACE?!?!?!?!?!?

scully and jack finally break in!! scully takes the doll away from polly despite her many refusals and PUTS IT IN THE MICROWAVE?? YAAAS THE DEMON CATCHES FIRE!!!!!!!!! scully is very dramatically watching that doll burn….

(this had me absolutely CRYING. she had no time for science that day. she was on vacation. if there is going to be an evil demon doll while she is off the clock, she is going to throw that mfer in the microwave and watch it go up in flames. extreme possibilities are allowed, but ONLY when it is not her duty to save the world.)

((also laughing that the doll was able to put out matches and throw knives and make people gouge out their eyes, but scully putting her in the microwave was so unpredictable this demon had zero defense against it. that, or her catholic powers simply neutralized the evil presence, rendering the doll immobile in her godly hands. i choose to imagine it is a combination of both))

while mulder is sharpening a ton of pencils and putting them in rows back in the office LMAOOOO

scully finally returns to the basement office! she tells mulder she wants to send his famous wall poster to "some guy named jack"!!! he seems unbothered by this, whereas i was shocked! and then she denies doing any work on the case while up there, saying she was just on vacation. ah, if only we could have seen her frolicking on the beach after those incidents.

what did mulder get up to while she was away? “oh god, i mean, it’s amazing what i can accomplish without incessant meddling or questioning into everything i do” (pencils begin to fall on him from the ceiling, as we pan up and see like, 40 pencils launched up there) LMAOOO

“there’s got to be an explanation” “some things are better left unexplained” fair enough

a cutscene back to maine... NOOOO, another fisherman hauls out the haunted doll while the hokey pokey ominously plays in the background 💔

i hope he promptly tossed her back into the watery grave. let her torment some fish instead.

so, final thoughts: scully putting the doll in the microwave… she really is THE final girl, huh?

this episode was soooo silly. i loved it. mulder had no brain cells. scully took a bath and made a friend who she wants to send a poster to. she is gagged by lobster. lmaoooooooo mulder missed her SO bad, he was trying to do science to impress her, bahaha. and she had her little maine shirt on!!! the role reversal of him being the science-centered one because he wants to talk to her that badly, and her being the one willing to deal with demons for a few days also killed me.

def going on the list of faves.

i think it is so funny that she was so focused on relaxing for once in her life that she truly did not give a single fuck if that doll was possessed or not. normally she would be scrambling for explanations, and today she simply did not have the time. she wanted to take a nice bubble bath, listen to orchestral music, read her little book, and if a demon was going to get in the way of that, then she would simply stop it and move along with her roadtrip. and i think that is beautiful.

and to answer my earlier question: YES, i still want a REAL joint msr vacation fic with REAL relaxation and REAL saltwater taffy and splashing and no murder dolls, but maybe like ONE ghost tour because new england is old and spooky, and then mulder can ask if they want to get married for real and they can go hiking or some other nerd activity and be happy forever and always <3 the end!

[rockymountainqueen2]

Back to the Swamp rundown!

So...

Disney Channel's YouTube account just released a new TOH chibi tiny tale.

And it's a crossover with Amphibia!

Here's my summarization of the events.

It begins with Luz meddling with the good 'ol portal door.

I'm not sure what she's expecting to accomplish, but Eda and King evidently found it interesting enough to watch. Eda even brought popcorn!

But whatever Luz did, it worked!

I have no idea when this is supposed to be occurring within the series timeline by the way. Luz is wearing season one outfit, has access to the portal door, which is also not destroyed.

So, season one, right?

But Eda has her post "Let the pain be shared" silver eye... And her season two dress for that matter!

Ah well, onwards to adventure! Eda is all for it!

King is a bit more... concerned, but comes along too.

Doesn't stop him from being mystified about the wildlife, though.

I guess Luz was trying to get back to The Human Realm?

Because she seems utterly shocked by the sudden realization that man-sized insects means that she can't possibly be on earth, lol.

But luckily for the denizens of the owl house, they've landed in Amphibia! By Wartwood! Right in front of the Plantar family home!

While Anne's friends Marcy and Sasha were visiting no less! What luck!

Anne and Luz formally reunite and introduce their respective families/friends to one another. It's very cute.

Sasha and Eda evidently decided that they just had to have an arm wrestling competition.

Sasha uses the powers gifted to her by the Calamity Box in order to win, lol.

But Eda gets the last laugh!

Then Marcy and King play a board game together.

Annnnnd she also uses her Calamity Box powers to win.

Girls, you do realize that's considered cheating, right?

Hooty also makes an appearance.

I guess he was wondering where everybody went?

Polly proceeds to use him as a jump-rope, lol.

I'm surprised that Hooty isn't more into this, but maybe he was genuinely worried about the people who live inside of him and didn't appreciate being used a kid's plaything after braving the unknown in his best effort to find them. Lol.

Meanwhile, Luz is showing off her sick glyph skills!

...Which I just realized, probably shouldn't work in Amphibia.

Ah well, we wouldn't have gotten this nice moment where she and Anne show off their magical powers to each other otherwise!

After all is said and done, our heroes settle down to have a meal.

I'm reasonably certain that they're eating bugs. Yum, protein.

Hop Pop and Eda are doubtlessly exchanging tips on parenting orphans and their other-dimensional friends, lol.

Throughout this whole adventure, the portal door has been... shrinking?

Because... the writers needed a reason for Luz and Co to have go back to The Demon Realm suddenly?

XD That's my best guess, as I don't recall there ever having been a time limit when it came to using the original portal door. It was kinda OP like that.

Anywho, Luz and Co need to leave immediately. Anne and Luz are quite sad to see one another go.

King really wants to make sure to say goodbye to everybody properly!

To the point he was a little too preoccupied to notice the portal door closing on him.

Also: Hop Pop faints because he thinks he just saw a little kid get decapitated, lol.

Meanwhile, back in the owl house, Luz is sad that she had to say goodbye to Anne. Eda comforts her, it's a sweet sight.

What isn't such a sweet sight is what King looks like minus his skull.

Although King himself is rather nonplussed about the whole thing.

Like mother, like son. Lol.

Luz is completely and totally horrified by the sight of King...

And that's the note that we end on!

Overall, cute little short.

And as a bonus...

XD This is officially canon now.

[vrancere]

kanou's position on the tree of life

since I finally got all my thoughts about kanou-san into one text, I'll post this theory here too! it contains spoilers for the main game + dlc and hermit room

so, this is a theory about kanou being keter, which is the first sephirah on the tree of life. i'd like start with kanou’s color palette. i’ve seen that the color which represents keter can differ from one interpretation to another but the most common choice for it is white. according to kabbalah, white is not even a color! it doesn’t absorb anything – it’s hollow and transparent as a representation of the divine nature of the creator. it’s here, you can see it, but at the same time it doesn’t really exist; it receives nothing from the outside, it’s a new start, a ghost, a blank list which is purely empty. so keter expresses the human desire of wanting to become something and having potential but it doesn’t have any content by itself, which i believe fits into kanou’s whole wish of wanting to exist and have a presence in the real world (he accomplished it when he met haruki who is a representation of malkuth but before that he was on the constant brink of being forgotten and abandoned due to the fact he had nothing). 

also keter is always about the present moment which is not connected to the past or future at all since it’s just a starting point! kanou states in q&a that he just lives in the moment, “just living is my hobby”, and everything else (like the question about his childhood) is left up to our interpretation. 

additional details: keter’s body part is focused on the head, and kanou was about to decapitate himself with a scalpel. keter is associated with pluto (it’s ironic considering the whole history of pluto and the topic of keter/kanou being nothing and not fitting anywhere), and pluto is a scorpio’s planet. hehe, kanou is a scorpio! a cool coincidence! kanou is also associated with rainbows somehow as i can tell judging by the stickers/keychains fukao made. keter manifests itself in malkuth (rainbow represents malkuth), and malkuth manifests itself in keter, the end would not exist without the start and vice versa. 

my kanatou-pilled thoughts on this matter: i've already stated that haruki is malkuth, while kanou is keter, yeah? it creates a possibility of them symbolically representing the end and the start, almost like an ouroboros. kanou accomplished his goal of having a place in the world and be remembered by someone because of haruki's decision to carry it on - keter manifests in malkuth and receives the colors/meaning of its existence.

one key-point which is missing: i’m not really sure about kanou being fully meta-aware as others on tree of life though. he says "i just came here to research the cells, i don't know anything about what they believe, but i think if the god they believe in really does exist, then the comedy would just be using it" (thanks to vidofnir for bringing this up!!!!) so he doesn't really interested in the topic of god's love. i think that “meta-awareness” can differ depending on the position on the tree of life. judging by the concept of keter, i can assume that keter is the only one aspect that doesn’t interested in god's love since the world was born not from god's love but from god's will. this is just the beginning, the first god’s thought about “commedia”, and god’s love appears at the next stages of the tree of life when he (god) starts to create his world. for example, chokmah is the representation of god’s creativity and wisdom, his ‘what if’, which fits into mutei’s rebellious ‘if i was a god’ and his actions in general. mutei, while existing as the second sephirah, needs to acknowledge god’s existence in order to reach his goals. keter is more like a state where god has not taken any actions yet so we can’t really say that he and his love exist.

and one more interesting detail but it would not be related to kanou!! we know that keter stops players from accessing too much information in the HR, yeah? so there’s the fact that keter’s assigned angel is metatron while metatron is considered to be the guardian of heavenly secrets <3 i love it

[ragtimeboy]

Why do you make your art ugly on purpose? /nm

I think it's really cool, I just wanna know if there's a reason behind it :0

Long post, tldr at the end

I've been sitting on this ask for awhile while I thought of a way to voice my views on "ugliness" and I have 2 very contradictory paths concerning it. One is that I find objects, features, and animals that are considered ugly or repulsive very cute and endearing, I love leaches, crooked or missing teeth , lazy eyes, maggots, scars, and asymmetry. Cockroaches are my favorite animal. These things are a part of existing, a part of life and of the body and therefore they hold just as much importance as the things that are usually considered beautiful. I want to showcase the beauty i see in the world, in the body, in the people I love regardless of how others might see them. Maybe you can learn to love those things that makes everyone unique even if it isn't glamorous.

Content/trigger warning: irl bodily harm, suicide, murder, irl illness and death

Second is the representational value of the "ugly truth" the denial of fabricated peace or beauty. I do not like my feelings spared, I don't like to be told a mistruth for the sake of closure or comfort. I want to see the world how it is, not a clean sanitized version of it. My most profound moments of human connection are the brief times when people give me the gritty details, sharing their knowledge and experiences that are sickening and morbid. The details of my dad's wife's patient in brain injury with his nose and frontal lobe blown off from a gun under his chin, the motorcycle car crash my neighbor died in at the end of my street hours after it happened, the two kids he left behind, the pool of blood on the sidewalk I walked by everyday. The murder in self defence my ex committed. The time the elderly man I cared for got stabbed for heroin. The most horrible things everyone has seen when I trained to be an EMT, the decapitations, the inconceivable ways a human body can be broken. The details of my friend's suicide, all of them, I wanted to know. In those moments of grief and horror I feel like I am truly seeing the whole picture, truly a part of humanity even in the darkest moments, because someone is sharing the pain with me, because for just a moment we can look at each other and feel the same loss, the same disgust and emptiness, the shared hopelessness that reminds me that hope exists and it's omnipresent.

I don't talk about myself a lot and that's on purpose, I think for the most part my work speaks for itself, anything you need to know is painted out on watercolor paper. My little sister was born with an autoimmune disorder that liquified her body for 10 years, I watched her tiny body fall apart, watched it rot while she lived. (She's ok now, she's a theater kid which is worse). For most of my serious work I put the viewer in my shoes, the relationship between the snuff film star and the audience, neither existing without the other, the relationship of suffering and the witness of suffering, the stripped down bare basics of empathy, of understanding another. The annihilation of comfort, the denial of escapism, the confrontation with the ugly, the sickening, it's a part of my experience and in the same fashion as I want to be told the truth I offer you the same grace. Reality, gritty and vile is part of the deal, to experience joy and fulfillment you have to open yourself up for agony, and maybe agony isn't the worst thing that can happen. Maybe we stare into the dark and see the worst possible past, present and future and we keep going, we keep living despite it. We have to.

Sorry if this is long, I'll try to tag all the potential triggers in this but please dm me if I missed one.

Tldr I think ugly is beautiful because it's unique and I like to know the truth even if it's sad and gross

[nalyra-dreaming]

Hiya! This is a weird thing to kind of talk about because it’s such a gruesome thing but so important to the characters but do you see the show adapting the Armand Claudia decapitation plotpoint? They have said they ARE adapting The Vampire Armand book as part of the season so that’s suggests they could and it would be weird if they invented the assault she suffered in season 1 and ignore the ‘canon’ circumstance of her death like that.. however the show has taken a step back from showing girls/women being victimised as much on screen (like the change with the Tenor/babette scene and I have a suspicion the victim in the theatre performance will maybe be a man too) so maybe they will just choose to do their own thing. Do you think it’s a smart thing to include? Part of me thinks they will because of how they did ep5, but would that actually be a step too far to see armand do? Like, we saw lestat brutalise Louis but he was able to recover from that (as horrible as it was), what armand does is another league. Guess we will have to see how bold they will be with it all and perhaps there’s just not a logical way that information to be divulged in season and it will be a later season reveal. What do you think?

Well.

Given they are pulling in some of the experts in the industry for horror I think it is safe to say we will get to see it. And I, personally, want to see it, too, and I don't think they will push it to season 3 or 4 to reveal later, simply because the impact would fall "flat" for the general audience then (by then Claudia would have been dead for two years, the emotional impact would simply not be the same). What is to be gained, then, on a recount, later on...? No, it needs to come with the total 180 of the "nice coven master" Louis fell for... and who then kills Claudia because killing young vampires is nothing to him, and it serves as such a nice little jab to the one who rejected him... and he wants Louis to himself. And Claudia is simply in the way.

I agree though, Armand's little Frankenstein moment... will definitely be a make or break for quite a few fans I would think, and the discussions will probably be wild. Still, it is a pivotal moment, for his thinking, too. Others have theorized, but what if we see it (or the trial) on stage? As a performance? I could see that, too.

Episode 5 is its own thing, there will be parallels to it I'm sure, as are in the books as well. I fully expect a callback to episode 5 after the theater trial, as in the books, whether they really revisit it or not is almost irrelevant here, imho, because there will be enough that will be thrown into doubt. Daniel has already started to unravel the tale.

Claudia's SA had a lot of reasons in the show and was not something they threw in mindlessly, imho, here is a good post about that. That said you are of course correct in the very deliberate way they show sexuality, nudity and victims - it could be that the stage performance will be totally different. However, the casting agencies were looking for actresses to go topless/nude so we'll see (but of course those could be part of the other Paris bars, too).

IWTV did change the victimization display, and I love them for it. But... I have said this before... season 1 was the easy one. The family one. The Louis, Claudia, Lestat unholy family one. That part is over now, the actual vampire and horror aspects will only increase from hereon. Memory is a monster and some of these monsters will still come to haunt them (and us).

Tl;dr: Yes, I do think they will show it and it will be gruesome.

If season 1 is any indication they will not pull their punches.

[alethiometry]

what's this aco himym fic huh!!

kate i don't know how much you know about ac odyssey from whatever the hell i or anyone else you follow has posted about the game in the last however long it's been since it came out, so i am very very sorry if none of this makes any goddamn sense.

OKAY FIRST OF ALL i need to say that i have literally never in my life watched a single episode of himym and i do not intend to and i know nothing about it except i'm aware that people have Opinions on how it ended. it has barely fuckall to do with this fic, except that i just cannot think of a fitting title.

the short summary is that this is a kassidas fic where for some reason (have yet to figure this out) brasidas ends up with custody of elpidios and tells him all about how he and kassandra met, how their relationship developed, and how they came to be where they are now (hence the filename).

the long summary is i got WAYYYYY too ambitious with this fic and it mutated from being like a cutesy little wish-fulfillment love story to a full-blown fix-it fic where i want to address most if not all of my most vexing plotholes in ac odyssey, ranging from plot points that make no sense, to character interactions or lack thereof that had zero closure, to a complete rewrite of the very bad no good comphet dlc. and although i hated how the game handled the forced romance between kassandra and natakas, i do think there is/want to see if i can find a way to make their relationship more complex and messy and interesting by removing the romance of it but just making him a more fleshed-out character. part of my worry is that the dlc is so reviled (with good reason) across the fandom that this premise is dead on arrival anyway and no one will like it, not even myself. but at the same time, i still want the endgame of this fic to be kassidas-focused, because they are my everything and to me there is no ac odyssey without them*, and so i have to figure out a way to write some kind of weird love/parental triangle between the three of them even though i fucking hate triangles**

i waver back and forth between the himym-ness of it being due to the fact that for whatever reason kassandra is no longer in elpidios' life (thus bringing it closer to official game canon), or just waving a gigantic middle finger to ubisoft and letting kassandra actually be a mother to her son whom she loves so so much and barely got to spend any time with, but she's understandably pretty tight-lipped about her past because she's aware of the heaps and heaps of generational trauma that's plagued her family and wants to break that cycle, so it's up to brasidas to spill the tea.

another layer of complexity/difficulty in writing all of this is that i imagine elpidios to be around 7 when the story starts, because that's the same age kass was when she lost her family, so then that age becomes sort of symbolic as a milestone. which means there's also the issue of not a whole lot of ac odyssey being appropriate for a kid of that age. like, graphic violence and dark themes aside... i can't really have it be like "yeah and after decapitating korinth's biggest meanest crime lord your mother flipped me over and pegged me six ways to [whatever the ancient greek equivalent of sunday is]" and just... yeah. i don't know. i still think about what i want to do with this fic often, but i think there's a very good reason why i have barely even opened it in almost 2 years.

*this made me giggle as i typed it out bc actual historical spartan general brasidas has like 15 minutes total of screentime in a 100+ hour game. but it's also not a joke because despite all that (and also getting fucking killed at the battle of amphipolis) he still had more chemistry with kassandra than any of the other like 15 actually-romanceable characters in the game.

**another tongue-in-cheek joke/double entendre because it's revealed in the game that pythagoras who did all that triangle math equation stuff is kassandra's biological father and an absentee, deadbeat one at that. fuck that guy fr

[bearpillowmonster]

MCU TV Shows Ranking (That I've Seen)

Because there are just too many now to watch them all, plus, why watch the ones I'm uninterested in?

Anyways, the rules will encapsulate the whole show so all seasons as one, I can't say that I like S1 and disliked S2 and rank it only based on S1. I will also clarify if I think it's worth continuing.

Daredevil- Karen lacks, Foggy's good, Matt's really good, Kingpin's really good. Electra could use some work as well as the Hand. Bullseye is actually marvelous except for the very end but the three seasons make for a nice bundle.

Punisher- It's like comic and Jon Bernthal Punisher are two different things but I like both for different and similar reasons. It plays off of him very nicely and lays the groundwork for a more realistic setting with interesting action. Jigsaw was a compelling villain as well and I found myself liking a few other characters but there were definitely the few that lacked. Both seasons were decent enough. I'd be open to continue.

Hawkeye- Not bad, have some complaints about Kate but overall a good entertaining show. I'd watch a season 2 but I feel like it's not really made for one, they will probably just continue to appear in other stuff.

Falcon & The Winter Soldier - I actually liked it more than I thought I would as I didn't have much interest in the characters but it turns out that I just needed more time with them. Unlike most of the ones on this list, I liked the ending, though it didn't completely knock me over. I think that a lot of what was in this series should've been the basis for everything going forward because of how it treated their livelihoods and asked questions. I'm not sure any of these series matched the hype of the fake Captain America decapitating a guy with the shield. This paved the way for Cap 4 which would've been questionable without this series.

Wandavision - I wasn't hyped for this, I let it slip by my radar because whatever, I never cared for either of them anyway. People complain about it having a main superhero plot but that's what I stayed for, I liked that portion but then I finished it and I completely understand why now. It's not a bad series and has a lot of cool ideas but just a weird way to end things. It got Multiverse of Madness which was mid and Agatha isn't out yet but I'm not hyped for that either, wouldnt be surprised if it fails due to lack of name recognition.

Ms. Marvel- A few of these I like comparing to Disney Channel shows because of how they act and while it all started with this one, I have to admit, it actually gets a lot of the teenager stuff right but I think it throws so much at the wall that it has to get at least some of it so there are a few misses as well. The ending is dumb, her powers are ok but they could be used a lot better and I imagine they will. She was the best part of the Marvels and it's S2 worthy.

Cloak & Dagger - It was an entertaining watch but perhaps not the most enticing. I liked the characters but they were very much put into tv show circumstances so I felt like it was its own thing. I like the actors and characters enough to keep them in the MCU but don't care to see another season, I wasn't all that big on S2 anyway.

She-Hulk - Last place, huh? I actually had the most hype for this one because I was hoping we'd get with She-Hulk what we didn't get with Hulk. In fact, I like her more because I first learned about her in the cartoon and well-

I think a lot of kids couldn't resist THAT. So I grew attached to her and had all these ideas for how she could be introduced and-oh, no not that.

But I still held out hope because I lowered my expectations and just wanted a crumb but the more it went on, the less I liked it and then I learned that it was all by design and I wasn't really sure how to feel about that and then time passed and I was like, that shouldn't matter, it didn't pay off despite a cool ending. I logged all this in other posts. Yet- here I am- an advocate for S2...

[dzpenumbra]

8/5/23

I had one goal today. Chill and have a fun day. I didn't quite accomplish that goal.

I had to do the whole "4 hours of sleep, get up, eat food, play Factorio, then go back to sleep" thing again. I hate how normal this is getting. But hey, it works... So I was up at like... 8:30? Back to sleep for a few hours, then back up around mid-day.

I stupidly got on my phone and on social media. It's never worth it, I swear. I just got sucked into a local subreddit and it's always political shit and it's always arguing. And I found myself writing paragraphs to post and then deleting them without posting and starting over... then deleting that. And yeah, it just feels like such a waste of time and energy.

Like, it was all about some young graphic designer (no small coincidence) who quit a job at a local cider brewery because she felt they were misogynistic. Which honestly? I think we're really getting to a point in society where you legit need to watch your back for a lynch mob over even making jokes. It's like people don't understand the purpose of humor as a way to breach difficult topics in a more approachable way and keep them in the social dialogue rather than hiding them... that process isn't equivalent to advocacy, if anything it's publicly shining a light on problems... Of course there's overlap, duh, there's overlap with literally everything, but the exception is not the rule. My point being... making a joke about something is very fucking different than actually doing something... and they really really cannot be treated the same.

I was referring to GWAR as an example, because yesterday I watched their old 1990 VHS they made for fans. I went to see GWAR in 2005 in Boston, I remember that show vividly as it was the only time I saw GWAR, Lamb of God, Clutch and Strapping Young Lad live. GWAR was by far the most memorable. If you don't know them... you will never forget them. GWAR is an art collective out of Virginia that, in their early days, advertised themselves as a mix between KISS, Rocky Horror Picture Show, WWF and The Simpsons. Really, they're way the fuck farther than all of that.

Their explicit purpose has been, since day one, to hold out a blunt, no-holds-barred, outrageously over the top mirror to society. To show all the fucked up things that are in the media, in humanity, but in a way that is extremely dramatized and over-the-top and cartoonish. And they do this by creating a fictional mythos behind the band - staying in character the whole time - that the band themselves are alien gods who are here to destroy humanity and merely distracted by sex/drugs/rock and roll, and the artists/musicians are their human slaves. And the gods themselves are slaves, too, to another higher diety. Which, clearly slavery is a theme at its core... and... with them being from Virginia... it's far from a coincidence, it's super intentional. It is a palatable way to keep extremely difficult concepts within social dialogue, in a way that isn't clinical or scary. In a way that is poking fun at how fucked up it is, how inhuman those acts are. How horrible of a being you'd have to be to commit such crimes. That's the entire fucking point!

And... then along comes Tipper Gore... and all the others who suddenly think that some 20-something guy in ridiculous theatre makeup "decapitating" a puppet of a political figure, then squirting fake blood all over the audience... they think that's going to like... trigger a Manchurian Candidate or something. Like uttering the Devil's name will summon him! OoooOOOoOOO! Well, if that were the case, how the fuck haven't we summoned him by blasting actual death, crimes and dismemberment all over mainstream news nationwide for decades?

See... if you frame it as "informing the public", you can literally do anything you want. If you frame is as "fictional entertainment/parody", for some reason these morons think you're... advocating? They're seriously like the SNL / South Park of metal music, and they've stood strong for 40 fucking years doing this shit and - I shit you not - they just played NPR's Little Desk. XD It's fucking great, check it out.

So this was all stemming from this chick who was complaining about how the company decided to make a light beer that was marketed to redneck men. Let's not beat around the bush here, it's targeted to the guys who go deer hunting and chew tobacco. And she was specifically analyzing their ad campaign and pointing out (with gigantic leaps of extrapolation) how it advocated for the mistreatment of women. ... By like... making a stupid poor-taste joke about how women aren't good at golf?

My point here is like... if it's not your cup of tea... just fucking change the channel. Why the hell do people have such a hard time with that? Don't buy the damn beer, you weren't going to anyway. I, personally, don't like drag shows. That's just... me. It doesn't mean I have anything against the LGBTQ community, it doesn't mean I don't like crossdressing in general, it means I don't like things that advocate explicit sexuality in public forums (I really don't like strip clubs either) and advocate for extreme forms of superficiality. It just is in a lot of ways the antithesis of a lot of things that I do enjoy, and do derive pleasure and purpose from. But my personal preference has nothing the fuck to do with their right to perform. Ever. I just... don't go to drag shows. And you know, I might even go with a friend who is into it, to stand in the back and absorb the experience, then talk to them afterwards and see what they got out of it. As a cultural learning experience. But that's not a requirement whatsoever. I have every right to not find something palatable, as does everyone else, but our personal tastes do not directly translate to permission to attack someone else's right of expression.

There's a huge difference (and this actually happened to me) between going to see a standup comedian and hearing a joke about 9/11 that really doesn't sit well with you... and just... getting up and leaving? You know? Versus... heckling. And protesting. And blasting them on social media. And trying to get them cancelled and make sure they never come back to your town. It's a gigantic leap from just showing yourself out... to trying to ruin their show or end their career. And it makes me deeply concerned how normalized this has become. People used to get taken to court over shit like this.

So yeah, I really tried to sum up my point like... "I don't like their style of humor, I don't have any intentions of buying their product, I feel like light beer is somewhat a slight against the gods... but I will defend to the death their right to tell their jokes." But, as I always do... I came to the conclusion that... it's really not going to make a difference. They're just looking for people to agree with them, so they can feel validated in their decision to quit the company a year ago. So they can feel like they're... "getting back" at the people who they felt treated them unfairly. As though... that's a "good" thing. As though eye for an eye leaves things settled up and everyone walks away happy... XD

I clearly didn't post it. And I realized I had spent nearly 2 hours typing and editing and rewriting comments. Good lord. This is what social starvation looks like.

Again, my goal for the day was to relax and have fun...

I started working on the graphic design thing. And... I stopped myself. I realized I really need to decide whether I'm actually going to do this commission before I sink more work into it. I haven't gotten paid yet, in fact... we haven't even talked prices yet... So... I posted on an art forum about this commission. All of it, including the bit about him shooting the fox during a creative consultation with a vegetarian, and how I have 18 projects on the docket right now. I got a resounding 6+ comments all saying different forms of "I would say no", "red flags", "you can walk away", shit like that. It was helpful to hear it, especially... so unanimously... like... I didn't hear a single artist actually advocate for doing this commission outside of desperation for money. So... I made up my mind. I'm not going to work on it anymore and I'm going to tap out.

Then, I had a super embarrassing moment because my post was deleted by a moderator. Apparently they have a rule - "no posts about business/social media/publicity". In an art forum. ... Which... I mean, the only reason I posted there was because I've seen tons of posts there about exactly those types of things. I guess I saw those posts before the mods got to them. Oh well. I actually handled that "you fucked up" pretty well. I got a little upset, then tried to respond "my bad" and it didn't go through, then moved on. Much better than being mortified with shame. There are still some shame shadows floating around in the background, but I've mostly moved on.

So... I got my answer. And my conversation is gone. So... I got zero feedback about pricing. So... either I make a new post where I ask the ever important question... "Is asking a fine artist to go outside of his medium something that the artist charges extra, because it's a special thing they don't normally do... or charges less, because it's something they don't have experience in?" I didn't get a straight answer on that.

Then I started to write up an invoice. I'm glad I got that set up, with my chill-but-serious solid black name up top and my seriously chill trademark light pink background. It looks official as fuck, I'm proud of it. So... here's where I am with it. I don't really know if it's good or bad, but it's a number. I decided... $200. Part of me feels like it's too low. Part of me feels like it's too high. And I think that's really the best I'm going to get. I don't think I'm going to find a number where I don't feel that way. So, I billed it as Concept Sketches - $125, Concept Design Consultation (Phone) - $75. So it's an even $200 plus tax. I think that's fair. We talked for an hour and a half, he took a woodland creature's life during the span of that, which I was tempted to charge extra for... So I just put my wages at a random number, $50/hour, and then rounded the concept sketches to fit the rest of my $200 number. I have a degree in art, I have been working in art since 2008. He was consulting me for my creative expertise, not my ability to follow YouTube tutorials. And, so far, I've sunk a total of about 3-4 hours into sketches and Illustrator prototypes... so... the $125 is actually cutting him deal. But, considering I'm not going to give him the digital prototypes, I decided against charging him full price for that. Not sure if that's the right decision.

Again, fun reminder, my one goal for today was to chill and have fun. XD

I ran through about 10 different drafts of texts to send him. I wrote one, but I didn't send it. If anyone reads this and wants to give me their opinion, I'd really appreciate it, but I really don't have expectations. I'm 90% likely going to send it tomorrow, along with the invoice to his email.

"Hey, I wish I could help out with your logo but I don't think I'm the guy for the job. I would recommend seeking out someone local who specializes in fonts and lettering: a sign-maker, a tattooist or a graphic designer would be good leads. You can feel free to use my concept sketches as visual tools for that process if you like, and we can consider this a creative consultation. I'll email an invoice over your way before the night's out. You've got a great concept, I'm excited to see it come to fruition, wish I could help more."

I did everything I could to make sure I did NOT say "I'm sorry" at any point in the message, or explain why I can't do it. That's huge fucking progress for me. Literally any time I have to break news where I feel like that person might get upset or angry, I am fucking profusely apologizing. Even if I didn't do anything wrong. It's like a survival thing, because I'm afraid I'm that messenger in fucking 300 who gets kicked down the well... and I've still got a lot of projects I'd like to complete and beautiful sunsets I'd like to see.

My only hesitation now... and please tell me if I'm being paranoid here... My fucking address is on the invoice. And by address, I mean my exact apartment number. And this guy discharged a .45 caliber handgun with hollowpoint bullets while on the phone with me. And I may likely be upsetting him. So... you know what, let me take this as an opportunity to really do a grounding exercise with this, since I don't think I've done a comprehensive one.

In my head, I am afraid that my former friend... I was a groomsman at his first wedding... is going to be mad that I backed out of designing a logo for his welding company... because I don't do graphic design, I'm a fine artist and craftsman... and I'm afraid that this is going to lead to him showing up at my apartment with a loaded handgun and killing me. Yep. I mean, when I say it out loud, it kinda sounds a bit stupid. Silly. Outrageous. Unlikely. Kinda... like Anton Chigurh in No Country For Old Men. So, am I really afraid this guy is going to somehow get through 2 sets of keyfob electric locks and get me to open my electric-locked door... then commit a violent felony in the dead center of a highly populated apartment building... then just... walk out? Good lord, I think I watched too many movies over the years.

So... yeah, I'm a bit less worried about that now. Funny how like... just writing out your fears in vivid detail can really help make more sense of them. That's a skateboarding thing, too. Like... nosemanuals, that's a big one for me that I'm overcoming right now. I used to love manuals, it was my thing. It's basically like being on a balance board outside, and I used to use balance boards all the time as a kid. But nosemanuals (manuals are "wheelies aka riding on just one set of wheels", nosemanuals are on the front trucks rather than the back ones) have always been super scary. My big fear is always... I'm going to drag my nose and it's going to catch and I'm going to go flying out of control. See, with a manual, you can drag your tail and it doesn't really do anything. If you drag your nose on a nosemanual, your board can just immediately come to a complete stop, but your body just keeps going... which is one of the worst things that can happen to you as a skateboarder, it can completely throw off your ability to control yourself midair and that's where injuries are likely to happen. So it's technically a logical fear. But the reality of it is... you can feel it before it happens. You can feel when your balance goes that far forward, and you can just hop out of it, or if you're going really fast, just tuck and shoulder roll. It's really not that bad at all. And once I really started to process that, and see it in real life? Nosemanuals started to get much less scary. But you really need to spell out your fears on that, say very clearly what you are afraid of with that trick, in order to overcome that.

The general, vague, non-specific fears? Those are the ones that can ruin your life. Because they can worm their way into fucking anything.

So yeah, I think the address on the invoice is fine, I don't think I need to pay for a P.O. Box just because of this. I hope the text is fine, I think it's super generous. I'm actually a little worried I'm shortchanging myself a bit... but whatever. It's money I didn't have and once I get this off my shoulders I can get back to my normal life. In fact, that money can go directly towards a month's rent of an art studio at the collective nearby, and nearly pay for the whole month! That's a good way of looking at it.

So yeah, once I realized I was doing that instead of relaxing... I went to fire up Minecraft. I hadn't sunk into that in a long time. My idea was to potentially... smoke weed and then play Minecraft for a while. I chickened out. I didn't smoke. I've just been too fucking anxious lately, I really didn't want to risk like... hearing bumps from the ceiling and thinking the FBI was knocking at my door or something. That shit is not recreation, it's a living nightmare. It's such a damn shame, I really wish I had a vice for days like today.

I made dinner, ramen and leftover fried rice. I watched skate videos. I prepped tofu for tomorrow, with lessons learned from last time. And... then I played Minecraft. And it was alright, but not what I was craving. I want a creative survival game where I make a home in the wilderness. But... it just wasn't scratching the itch today. I was playing the Valhelsia: Vanilla Expanded modpack, and the second I got in I just went... "I miss Dynamic Trees". And I tried to add it... but it's not compatible. And that was a big sad moment. I love feeling like the world around me is alive in a game like that. And Dynamic Trees (and other mods like it) was really good at that. All the plant life was constantly subtly changing, but the terrain topology stayed the same. So... I'm not sure what to do about that.

I ended up quitting and playing Session for a while. And now here I am.

So... day 2 of having the sole goal of having a chill fun day... and then I end up doing stressful work and only relaxing for like an hour. And lots of rain and thunderstorms both days too. Lame.

Welp, here's hoping to succeed tomorrow, I guess. Next art project is going to be clothing art, my beige pants are going to get a deer head on them, and likely a fox on the other side if I have a good orange.

If there's one thing I got out of this whole reconnection with that former friend experience? It's a reconnection with my deep love and admiration of foxes. And I am deeply driven to add in fox imagery to all kinds of work right now.

I want to do pieces that are like... a scrapbook of my memories of this place. And a lot of it has been animals. So... I was thinking my helmet could be a collage of these. I want to do the blue jay that used to visit my feeder every dawn, and a fox for this unfortunate lost soul. So... tapping into spirit animals through capturing memories, and what those memories mean to me... and bringing those memories to life through my art. I think it's a very beautiful thing... and a way I haven't really thought of animal spirits before. I always sorta thought of them in like a... conceptual... abstract... almost god-like way. Like "I'm channeling the fox-spirit, the qualities of a fox." And that kinda feels sometimes like "I'm channeling the human-spirit, the qualities of a human." And this other approach, is much more... individual. There's much more of a visceral meaning to it. Kinda like drawing a portrait of a specific person you admire, as a tribute to those qualities they embody to you... this would be a drawing of a specific animal, and the qualities it embodied and the impact it had on me. So... the same totemic symbology, but with much more individual specificity.

Oh my god, I can't believe I almost finished this without mentioning. I saw a squirrel outside my window earlier today (I live like 20-25 feet up) and it was just running around on the branches of a tree just like... grabbing leaves and tugging on them, then carrying them in its mouth. And I had never seen this before, at first I thought it was looking for some kind of specific seed pod or fruit or something? But then I saw clearly that it was gathering leaves. And I just connected the dots and went... "wait... is it making a nest? Do squirrels do that?" And I looked it up and sure enough... this squirrel is making a big leaf nest directly across from my window! It's about 6 feet higher than my window, but it's right there. :) That means there are going to be babies! Maybe. It made me so excited. I have a new neighbor! She looks pretty young, and she doesn't seem to notice or mind me hanging out by the window and watching her work. I'm so glad I have nature right here out my window, if I didn't I really don't know if I'd last here.

Okay, I think that's about it. I put off yoga until now, so I'm gonna go do that and take a nice shower and call it an early night.

[velvetboyette]

We haven't gotten anything as of 10am EST this morning

We're both disabled and trying to move out of a hoarding situation that is several decades old with no help (my mom just left and told us to me pack and meet her)

We both have autism and AFRID so the food pantry is of so much more wasteful that it is helpful not to mention we don't have a phone number rn and they are incredibly aggressive when you don't make an appointment and don't have a bunch of paper work proving you make some kind of income - my wife literally doesn't and they began to interrogate her last time she was there and will only give 3 days of food to people with proven income and a prior appointment. So we'd only get 3 days of food for me because I have SSDI paperwork and that's 1 day of food for being hareased by a religious woman who is openly judging us for being queer and poor in her presence

We survive mainly through sexwork most of which is legal but I'm def not bringing the chaterbate paperwork to the religious lady and telling her my transgender wife is employed THAT I'd rather starve than do I'm honestly sorry they also make me take home food I have no way to cook or store taking up valuable fridge space for like a Christmas fucking ham sorry something so I can watch good food rot.

I live in a wealthy district in NY state with 0 queer outreach/ aid programs all of them are religiously affiliated and I'm really really really trying to avoid taking us to conservative churches because we are both visibly disabled GNC and queer. I just am literally on my knees begging not to have to to those places and go through that after growing up in the Baptist church of all the vile places just to not actually get any food that I can eat or even cook to attempt to gag down

I know im on here another asking for money I make just under 1k in on SSDI in NY and I make 61$ exactly in EBT

My wife is doing her very best best but there's only so much porn you can make in a decapitated house with barley any light. Not to mention the blanket rejection she's been receiving from normal day jobs Shea been applying for 2 years since she came to live here after being kicked out onto the street in Connecticut in November and she has had 1 call back from mens fucking warehouse of all places and the interviewer never followed up.

I would give anything to stay afloat if you want porn I will give you porn if you want art I will make you art I can write and draw

I'm really beyond the point of begging I don't think very many people have any money to give but 100$ right now for groceries would mean the world to me

I've become a regular e-beggar because THATS THE ONLY THING THAT BINGS US INCOME! I've tried everything! Prostitution to fucking McDonalds IM SO FUCKING TIRED SO TIRED OF ASKING MY FRIENDS TO REBLOG MY STUPID FUCKING POSTS ABOUT HOW HUNGRY I AM

IM TRIED OF BEING TOO DISABLED FOR MANUAL LABOR AND TOO VISIBLY QUEER FOR PUBLIC JOBS

I'm sorry I'm so upset I'm so tired of running out of food before the 10th of the month my life wasn't like this before the police arrested my father and refused him trial for a half decade

Please keep reblogging this so someone who has anything extra sees this

EVERY DOLLAR COUNTS

WE NEED FOOD (and honestly soap but fuck me I'll figure that one out I'll just steal the goddamn soap fuck it)

Running low on food if anyone wants to send some $$ moving is fucking exaughsting and I don't have the spoons to beg correctly

I love you all so much

Lumophobia on ppl/cshapp

[scharoux]

Come on Tumblr and see a bunch of posts with people bashing Solas and the Solavellan romance and I'm over here like...

[legobiwan]

Because the thing is that Ahsoka and Thrawn haven’t met (as far as we know) and have no real reason to dislike each other, and if anything they wouldn’t really mind one another — a conflict would have to be written into the situation now. I could see summarised versions of scenes from Alliances being written in / adapted as flashbacks, given they have Hayden Christensen back, and given they did it with The Mandalorian (Cobb Vanth was a book character, and his flashback was him summarising a book. He was also heavily implied to be gay with the guy he was raising a baby Hutt with, but apparently they left them during the month between the books and The Mandalorian, as they were not relevant to the plot. Or how the events or The Clone Wars Season 7 were mentioned in the Ahsoka novel. A few differences, different lightsaber colours and whatnot, but excusable.

I mean, maybe, but Ahsoka didn't seem too thrilled about Thrawn in that Mandalorian episode. They haven't met (we believe), but this scene doesn't really make me feel Ahsoka gets the warm fuzzies when considering Thrawn, either.

And I kind of want to get into an aside about this whole...thing for a moment. This Mandalorian episode was very light on the context of this whole confrontation (which is putting it nicely), but a little bit of a deep dive into Wookieepedia produces, well, an interesting scene.

Morgan Elsbeth

So remember that Clone Wars episode where Lux Bonteri and Ahsoka got stuck on some wintry planet, Bo-Katan smacked Ahsoka in the ass, and then Ahsoka decapitated four members of Death Watch?

That was Carlac.

The slaves from that episode?

Were the Ming Po.

That woman who was executed in that episode?

Was apparently Morgan's sister.

Somehow this led Morgan to wish death upon Ahsoka. That's...a lot of backstory that we didn't get in that episode. And even hardcore Clone Wars fans (a group I consider myself a member of) would have been hard-pressed to make that connection. *handwave*

Thrawn's Confederation...rebuilding the Empire? Oh boy, I really, really hope they're not going to link the First Order to Thrawn, because...eek.

Oof, I mean, the only way I can justify this considering Zahn's current Thrawn-canon is if Thrawn is trying to unite the remanents of the Empire to fight against the Grysk, as the New Republic would just be too busy trying to establish a legitimate government to get involved in the Outer Rim. The Chaos

And so maybe, maybe, we'll get a deep-cut reference to Alliances in order to pull Ahsoka to Thrawn's side. Although who knows where Ahsoka's mind is at regarding Anakin. Surely Luke told her about Anakin's last-ditch effort at redemption on Death Star II. I don't know. I have extremely mixed feelings about Ahsoka post-Rebels Season 2, so to me, it feels somewhat forced (hahahaha, that's a pun).

So yeah, they could include a flashback, but I'm not going to count on it in this context.

Now, the Cobb Vanth information was fascinating and I actually need to read the Aftermath series (I kinda skimmed through one of them - the one where Leia shows up in full "fuck you, I'm Vader's daughter costume," but to be honest, I didn't remember much else from them). I had been wracking my brain as to why I didn't remember Cobb Vanth from the Legends books, but this would explain it, haha.

[polarisbibliotheque]

Welcome to the Bibliothèque (Main Post)

I’ve been writing for quite a while in my own language (+10 years) and decided to give this a try ^^

My main art blog is @polarisdelphi - drop by and say hello!

I don't take requests, but I do take suggestions!

I'm terribly busy with work, studying and a chronic illness (still investigating, not diagnosed) which currently takes a LOT of my time and energy.

That being said, I don't want to take requests and not be able to deliver - that wouldn't be fair to you. So, feel free to leave suggestions! I might be able to work on them when I need a spark of creativity ^^

Masterlist

I'll figure out how to leave a link with my updated masterlist somewhere in my bio - if it isn't there yet, I'm working on it, forgive my "I don't know how to mess with tumblr" ass xD

What do I write?

Fanfiction (specific fandoms I know, though, like DMC, Resident Evil, etc.);

Poetry, sometimes;

Healthy, wholesome relationships;

Slice of life/fluff/mundane daily life;

Horror/thriller/action;

Gore to an extent (you know. Given the things I like, can't avoid some decapitations here and there);

Angst/bittersweet situations;

Very light NSFW. You know, that NSFW that can't really be considered NSFW 'cause it's too vanilla? There you go;

A lot of things based in philosophy/occultism/deep connections. It's a hobby;

Sensitive topics are bound to appear - but I always do my best to warn on the description;

Very rare, but some original works sometimes;

And writer rants :D

What don't I write?

Heavy gore (I usually avoid gore heavy horror movies, not a fan. I'm more into the psychological horror stuff :3);

Torture (REALLY. NOT. A. FAN.);

Incest of any kind;

Toxic relationships/toxic masculinity/romanticising toxicity, manipulation and horrible behaviours;

Women/men as mindless sexual objects;

Heavy NSFW (I don't have this kind of talent, so sorry);

Those lists are not exhaustive and might have additions with time ;)

ALSO, I think it's important to note: I always try to write the y/n character as gender neutral as I can, so everyone can read it comfortably. I do avoid pronouns because of that, but do tell me if you find a clandestine pronoun for y/n lost in one of my works!

If you and I agree with those, be welcome, my friend. Have a cup of tea and enjoy ^^

Disclaimer on my DMC OC week posts/fic

It’s a 1000% comfort fanfiction for myself. I’m honestly self indulging in this one and I figured I’d share because of the tag and such ^^

I'm thinking about actually posting the whole story with y/n and another with my OC. Let's see if I can actually do it!

Have fun and see ya around!

[dragynkeep]

So I'm watching another let's play of until dawn right? To see how other people react and perceive the characters or how their story differs from mine? And something I noticed that no one picks up on his how Josh got Chris and Ashley together in like the worst way possible.

I still don't fully understand why he turned his need for revenge on the two friends who didn't hurt his sisters but the traumatic event that sent Chris and Ash into each other's arms sadly worked. Except now they're together out of co-dependency rather than genuine love. Who else could handle Chris's numb detachment to reality or Ashley's intense manic panic attacks? Who else would understand what they went through?

Chris and Ash are basically stuck with each other for the rest of their lives and they'll never truly have the romance that wanted because of Josh.

this is really sad to think about, especially because you can see there was that genuine attraction for each other there that’s now unfortunately warped in some form of fucked up trauma bond due to josh’s actions during the game.

it also doesn’t bode well because we see how ashley reacts when chris did something she didn’t like in choosing to shoot her during the prank, even though she had offered. she left him to be viciously decapitated & murdered by hannah while she silently watched; now how is any disagreement between two deeply traumatized people supposed to go post mountain? how will they ever come to that middle ground? will chris fall over himself trying to ensure that everything is fine so ashley isn’t harmed because he wants to protect her? will ashley find herself trying to pretend everything is perfect despite the fear & the night terrors & the ptsd until one day she just ... snaps?

they deserved a better shot of their romance to see if it would play out or if it was only a brief teenage love story without essentially being locked in because of the trauma josh caused them; unfortunately they’ll never get that in the events post the game.

[badass-at-fandoming]

My Favorite Betrayal: Sevastian of the Winter

As one of the starter love interests for Lovestruck's popular Reigning Passions series, Sevastian of the Winter is a tumblr favorite. When I finally got around to reading his route, I enjoyed the stunning art and intricate writing--but this one moment really knocked me off my feet. I gotta post about it. Major spoilers ahoy.

One of the major themes in Sevastian's route is betrayal (which works so well in conversation with the theme of duty in Amara's route. The two routes are truly two sides of the same coin. But that's another post). From the plot to the art, betrayal, and its consequences, are everywhere. The decapitated statue in the Winter Quarter. Sevastian's nickname as "The Betrayer Prince." Heck, the Mark of the Betrayer Sevastian receives is mirrored on MC's sword-esque wedding dress.

[[Image ID 1, Sevastian pulls back his shirt to reveal a gleaming blue sword tattoo. The text reads, "Lines of twisting flame trace the shape of a stylized sword."]]

[[Image ID 2, MC and Sevastian stand side-by-side in their wedding clothes. MC's white dress has an incredibly deep and narrow neckline, with silver chain keeping it in the shape of sword. MC says, "Today marks the beginning of our life together."]]

As the plot goes on, Sevastian betrays, or contemplates betraying, various people and causes. Under the Silver Dagger persona, Sevastian betrays the other nobles by stealing their wealth. He betrays Lyris' trust and friendship by not talking to him after the wing debacle. He thinks about betraying his morals by murdering his father. You get the picture.

But there's one that stood out to me by a mile. It's this scene in s5:

[[Image ID 3, With weeping willows and fireflies behind them, Sevastian and MC stand distressed. MC has hold of Sevastian's forearm, while he leans slightly away from her. They both have anguished expressions on their faces]]

Let's re-orient. MC figures out she's the lost heir to Altadellys' throne. Lord Ubel, Sevastian's father, is salty about it, and MC and Sevastian flee his wrath and the capitol city. They hook up with the rebels, who oppose Ubel because he's an uber-rich dillweed. Led by General Nisse, the rebels task MC and Sevastian to convince the neighboring nation of Rovdyr to send troops and supplies. Our duo is on their way, but an ally betrays them. The situation devolves into a fight. A poisoned blade stabs Sevastian. Only MC's great-grandmother Edera pulling Sevastian into the hidden land of Fortrylle saves him. In this land infused with magical energy, time "stops" for Sevastian, and there's time to find the antidote for his ailment. Which is great, except the rebel cause is pressed for time. They need those Rovdyr allies. As illustrated in the above CG, Sevastian has the brilliant plan of leaving Fortrylle, letting himself die, and thereby forcing MC to get on with her royal future.

And I saw red.

My reaction was as searing as it was visceral. As a queer person, it's a very special experience to feel seen and represented in a work, but this was the first time I felt seen and absolutely hated it. This time, Sevastian was betraying MC and all they had fought for to be together. By throwing away his life, he was throwing all the choices MC had made to be with him right back in her face.

Part of the strength of my reaction stemmed from the fact that I had the 1980s AIDS epidemic on the brain. I'd recently watched Netflix's Circus of Books documentary. In it, a monogamous cishet couple recalled the epidemic and how it affected their lives and bookstore, which was a gay hot spot. Overnight, it seemed, their employees and customers started dying. They added hospital runs to their weekly errands. They called homophobic parents to inform them of their son's death.

And here, in the distorted mirror of fiction, was another queer man dying. No, not dying, but killing himself, so his partner "didn't have to suffer." So they "wouldn't be held back." So she could "move on" with her life and her queenly destiny. I'd heard those reasons before. I spiraled into the hundreds of stories of queer people killing themselves so their straight-passing partner could integrate into the heteronormative; into what others wanted them to be. The parallels drove me mad. Like these other deaths, his suicide felt so needless. Sevastian went on and on about how the rebels needed their queen, their rallying point.

The real kicker is: they don't. Like, no gamer wants to hear that their character is unnecessary to the story, but it's true in this case. MC and Sevastian don't bring anything particularly special to the rebel cause. They don't know military strategy or secret supply routes or a hitherto unknown access point to Altadellys. We learn later that Captain Amara and Queen Safir are around. With Amara's long history of service and Safir being the literal lost queen, they lend an equal, if not greater, sense of legitimacy to the revolt, and are excellent rallying points. Even securing Rovdyr forces don't require MC: General Nisse makes a war treaty with them on her own in Amara's route. The most MC and Sevastian contribute is Ubel's stolen funds. But once those are handed over, they're superfluous.

Just to nail this point home, MC has repeatedly said she doesn't have any particular inclination to be queen. It's more that the other options are terrible. Any destiny to be queen, any ultimate desire to wear the crown, is all in Sevastian's head. He's ignoring what she most wants, which is him, alive and by her side and loving her. I wanted to throttle him. In the midst of sickness and death, they had a chance to live in peace.

So, my God, was I impressed by this writing. For the low, low price of $0, I was absolutely knocked on my ass. Shit's GOOD, bro. I had to gush about it. Thank goodness the next scene gave us an affirming cuddle as a breather.

[[Image ID 4, MC and Sevastian stand close together in a grove of weeping willows. MC's eyes are closed. The text reads, "I lean into his chest as he curls his arms around me, half wishing I could crawl under his shirt and hide there."]]

This post is mega-long and has not real point besides LOOK AT THIS PRETTY, but ya know. Binge read Reigning Passions and you'll see what I mean. Thanks for reading!

[mejcinta]

John Waker antis.

These are the kind of John Walker anti posts I just need to respond to:

“I didn’t even know there could be people actively defending that piece of shit but just for argument’s sake: he did get a slap on the hand?

Walker literally killed an innocent man in cold blood on foreign soil and mind you he didn’t do it in self defence or even during a fight, no he ran after the first guy he saw, took him down and decapitated him in front of a crowd and then left like nothing happened. May I remind you of the hateful treatment we (and by we I mean predominantly white countries) reserve to any person of colour who even dares to think something even remotely “submersive”? Yeah.

So yes, that white garbage fire got away with a slap on his hand because instead of being put on trial for slaughtering a man, he’s just sent home with dishonor or whatever cuz he’s the epitome of entitlement and privilege. Call that justice will you.”

Duuuuuuuuuude!!! Here’s just a little something I’ve obsereved about these types of individuals and their fake SJW Playbook.

1. They’ll identify with morally questionable characters a.k.a criminals who mess up their own circumstances in heated situations, then blame it entirely on a party *outside* of themselves and their poor choices. Nico, mind you, wasn't entirely innocent. He was an accomplice to Lemar's murder. And he can't say he didn't sign up for war when he chose to fight beside Karli. John was high on the serum and took the wrong stance, to be fair. But to pretend that Nico was a saint who had no idea what he was messing up with is something else entirely. And clearly, he admitted he had messed up when crazed up John was standing over him.

2. They’ll remind people, especially black people, how 'privileged' as white people they are, and how them coming down to 'advocate' for black people makes them 'better' white people. This is what I hate most about such so-called fans. They treat black people as objects to gain golden societal points from, as they ironically state over and over again, how ‘privileged’ they are to be born a certain skin color. With all due respect, I find any 'fan' or person that talks such shit to me, as if I ever asked for their help or ever saw myself as a 'helpless, poor little black person in need of a savior' the BIGGEST racist ever!!!

3. These fans think they earn points by calling people of their skin color, 'white garbage fire'. Dude, have you no respect for yourself at the least?? It's not virtuous to insult someone for the color of their skin, it's actually deranged and evil. And many of these John antis are in fact very deranged and small-brained. They can’t see beyond their unhealthy hatred for how someone looks or talks.

4. Making everything about race... Gee, where do I even start. The Falcon & The Winter Soldier has served heavy facts about how the government uses people to pass their sinister agendas. They experimented on Isaiah. Another shadow government organization kidnapped, tortured and brainwashed Bucky. John Walker and Lemar Hoskins were programmed to believe they were serving their nation abroad when all that brought was death and destruction to foreign countries. Biggest takeaway from here is that the government WILL use you fools. 

And what's the latest method Western governments are using to pass outrageous, tyrannical laws?? The excuse of 'racism'. Mass disarmament of nation's because 'racism'. Mass censorship of freethinkers and people that question government/try to hold it accountable because 'racism'. Black people must be inoculated first with an experimental vaccine because 'racism'. Open borders, mass child trafficking, sexual exploitation, pedophilia and dangerous notorious gangs getting in because it would be 'racist' to strengthen border protection. Oh, and black people shouldn't pass in Math because how could they when Math is 'racist' and black people can't and shouldn't compete equally with others in a subject that even African students ( Math is compulsory here in Africa) are really good at and consequentially pursue meaningful and empowering careers that take them as far as actress Lupita Nyong’o, writer Wole Soyinka , actor Eddie Gathegi or American surgeon Ben Carson????

It's ironic, and beyond me, that these SJW John antis don't see they are the ones that are government/establishment props.

Now the question is: is John Walker, a character that’s a war veteran, programmed/conditioned into the role of Captain America and had a (black) best friend and has a beautiful, loving (black) wife a 'racist' simply because Sam wasn't ready to take up the Shield and voluntarily gave it up to the Establishment????? (Thankfully, he’s come around now).

John Walker is now liberated from government control and wants to do things his way, and he's bad for that?? He's literally what all of you 'SJW' fans aim to be right? A rebel breaking free from government control and exacting justice the way they see fit?

This is the big irony with John antis. Tell me you're petty without telling me you're petty, I guess.

[okeymakeydude]

Sorry sorry and sorry for responding too late.

I refer S/O as They/their

Request by @thewinterflagforever .

Engie. (Inspired by this post made by @snoozyhooter )

If they had free time, Engie would propose to do a picnic. He doesn't want something too boring or simple but also, exaggerated. He'd offer to make the food, and look for the best place to eat, surely chooses one where they can see almost everything. He doesn't hesitate to bring his guitar to sing them some songs.

They have to stay in the base? No worries! That won't stop them. Both can be working in the garage and keep talking about how their day was while they are doing their business. This man loves helping his S/O and spend time with them.

"Hey hon." "Yes?". They looked at him and smiled, he was with his arms open, waiting for a cuddle. Engie being a extrovert person and even touchable, the hug is something different and important for him, only for the people who really he cares about and one of them is his S/O. Prefers face-to-face to see their face.

Sniper.

He will take his S/O to a place where the sun is the protagonist, why? 'cuz he loves seeing how the sun is falling and giving permission to the night. Near his camper, they would prepare a campfire, to cook something and just, talk about how their day was. Like Engie, he prefers easy plans without exaggerating.

If they have to work, Sniper will be watching that no enemies approaches to the base and his mate doing their job, and at the same time, protect him from spies. They both would be in a room, only for Sniper, but he'd invite his S/O. It'd be more silence but that doesn't mean they're unsure, just on the alert.

Being honest, Sniper is not a big fan of cuddles (excepting his parents). He's like a 'suprise hugger', because no one will never know when he's gonna do that. S/O is surprised when they feel arms around them from behind and, a head resting on their shoulder. Then a soft voice near their ear "Don't know how much i love ya."

Demo.

Does his S/O love party? Hope so 'cause this man does! They would spend the evening going to bars or nightclub; Dancing and drinking. However, if there is a quite place, like a beach with few people or none, they would sit and talk about everything and, i mean, everything.

Nothing keep him away from fun, with a few bottles bought and the only thing left to do is to have the party in any part of the base. Second option? When he makes bombs, he has to see if they really explode, what could be better than throwing some to the opposing team? Without doubts, he'd ask his S/O to come, they are the one who gives him more entertainment.

Demo'd hug them every 5 mins if he could, he wraps his arms around their waist, warmly towars him, looking each other. He loves seeing their face. God, he said once "I got a manky eye, i'm a black Scottish cyclops drunk!", what he did to deserve them? What did they see in him good? S/O would respond his questions and he'd happily listen.

Scout.

A walk through the nearest town or city is enough. Holding hands, they go to look at the things there; they buy sweets (or buckets of chicken), go to the shops or even play in the park. If there's a funfair nearby, Scout will do the 'puppy-dog eyes' so he can go and suggest paying for both, the first traction would be... well, the tunnel of love.

Near base, he has an area where he can do whatever he wants, mainly sport, they can pass the evening practicing and challenging each other or, sitting on the grass and letting nature be the protagonist, Scout'd bring what is needed to draw and be happy to tell about his comics!

Sideway hug. At first nervous, unsecure, he prefers to start with an arm around S/O's neck and get them close to him 'discreetly', "it's getting cold, yeah?" just give him a second before he decides to completly cuddle them and hides his face on their shoulder.

Heavy.

When his family moved to U.S.A, near him, he'd like to pay them a visit and more with his S/O. Yes, it may sounds boring but he really cares that they know his love perfectly and is sure his mother will love them. Clearly they'll have some privacy at some point, "This is for you, со́лнышко" he'd use it that moment to give them 13 flowers, all possible colors except yellow and 3 kisses each cheek. A tradition for someone he would give even his heart.

If they have to stay in the base for any attack, Heavy would be reading a book while his S/O is relaxing by his side doing something else, even teaching them some russian words if they're interested o translating the story. Another option would be Heavy cleaning his weapons while he shows them and yes, even he likes to brag about it.

Bear man? Bear hugs! He does everything he can to put his arms around them, carefully, like a shield. Wants to make them feel protected, nothing is gonna hurt em, not in Heavy's watch. He doesn't forget the soft kiss on their head.

Pyro.

Well, the name already say it, they (Pyro) would be trying to burn everything they can all the evening and proudly show it to their S/O. They would be holding hands and going everywhere without wasting time, until Pyro saw the sun and decided to stop moving, he sat down and rest their head on S/O's shoulder, completly in silence.

Sleepover. Being inside of the base isn't gonna prevent them to have fun, with a lot of food, fluffly toys and makeup, it's enough to stay in their room for all the evening. Pyro would paint the nails of their love while they're talking how their day was and eating all the candies. Later they go to Medic because stomache.

A tight, strong, loving, breath taking embrace, a way to say how much they love their partner. A bear hug but a bit different, applying a powerful pressure, and making S/O immobile. Luckly not enough to hurt them and just for a few seconds.

Medic.

"Look, schatz! We can use its organs for—" "Oh, don't you dare! I swear - No!". Wasting all his time in his laboratory, makes him a bit umconfortable staying outside, but he'd accept if it's S/O, a walk near base. Ngl he adores talking about himself about the progress he's doing, the ideas he has or what Archimedes did, he laughs and then... He apologizes, but his love assures they won't never get bored listening to him. Only got scared when he saw a roadkill and started to approaching.

He needs an assistant while he's working, an excuse he often uses when he wants to spend time with his love, and it works. Loves seeing Archimedes rubbing his head against their check and will whisper "Why you...?", because he also doesn't know what he did to deserve someone like them. Likes to observe how the sunlight creates different perspectives on their beauty while they're talking.

Another nonfan hugger, he usually does it unconsciously and when he's very happy, jokes aside, he's really strong, enough to lift his partner with his arms around their waist and leaning against his body. When he realized it he didn't help but blush.

Spy.

A hot air balloon trip? Spa? A meal at the best restaurant and hotel in town? Going to a concert or theatre? He just looks for anything to surprise his amour, he likes the exaggeration and extravagance of dating, to show that he's determined to use his time and attention for them. He has already prepared everything that will be done during the afternoon until nightfall. However, he'll change plans if they have another idea, he'll try to please them.

In his private room, S/O is free to do whatever they want, read a book? Look at the fireplace? Take a nap? Talk? Go ahead. "Mi casa es tu casa" he's say with a smile, he's not that talkative but with them, he's confident to do that until someone have to stop. By the way, did you know Spy is good at giving massages?

Being someone who stabs from behind, doing back hugs, means a lot, he doesn't like giving 'em but trusting his loved one, wants to say that they're safe and protected by him. He hides the head and give a quick kiss on the back of the neck.

Soldier.

"See those submerged logs over there? That is The Beatles! Do not stop running!" "Okay...—wait what!?". He's able to sum up a 1600 hour tour in just one afternoon, holding their hand and with a big smile, he will show them everything he knows and be proud of that. Has anything caught his love's eye? Don't worry! He'll get it for them, if they're happy, he's happy too! Everything gangsta until there's is a neck snap.

In his "secret" space, he'd love to show them how good he is teaching the students (Ignoring that they are decapitated heads), and may sounds weird, he would be able to talk quietly when there is a debate or a talk. He will be happy to teach rocket jump if S/O is interested and any moment, he'd let them see a beautiful place where they can watch how the sun falls.

A bear hugger too. When he's joyful, when he won a match or because he wants, his S/O will be the first one to know it. He will put his arms around their waist and bring him closer to his body, placing his face on their chest. Don't miss this opportunity and respond him in the same way! His cuddles are gold.

Masterlist.

If there is any mistake, please, correct me.