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buckmepapi · 3 years ago

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Loathe/Lust

Summary: There’s a fine line between loathe and lust.

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x avengers!f!reader

Warnings: SMUT 18+ ONLY, angst, mentions of reckless behaviour, Bucky being an emotionally stunted asshole, reader having a semi mental breakdown, dirty talk (what it do baybeeeeeee), oral (m receiving), emotional against the wall sex, unprotected, creampie, and fluff.

Not beta read, all mistakes are my own. Not proofread either but will amend as and when I see them.

A/N: I’m still procrastinating my WIP’s, what’s new? I have no idea where this came from, I just suddenly had to write it down, idk if it’s even good but hey ho... also the giveaway is still active on my masterlist, but I’m closing in on 2k followers already so once I hit 2.5k it will close!

Also this is like really depraved, I lost track of time and blacked out writing it, it’s honestly shameful and I’m warning you now — it is a lot

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You and Bucky hated each other’s guts.

In your eyes, Bucky was a pig-headed brute who always insisted on talking over you and undermining you at any chance; he always seemed to relish in your embarrassment and loved to patronise you by frequently calling you “doll”. The unique vintage term of endearment was seemingly sweet and wholesome to everyone else; but to you, it would send a pleasant tingle to your core that would radiate throughout your spine and exit through your toes, causing you to feel goosebumps all over and make you internally shiver, your natural automatic reaction to the self-perceived nefarious pet-name only made you all the more angry every time he insisted on saying it.

You hated his serious and perpetually grumpy demeanour, you hated how he would embarrass you in front of your teammates scolding you at the top of his lungs for putting the team in danger by, to your credit a thoughtful and brave act, usually running off and abandoning your post to save a civilian. Bucky would never apologise for the way he treated you and spoke to you in front of others as if you were a child. You wouldn’t have minded his scolding if it was in private, but to do it in front of your friends and teammates, was all the more humiliating. You hated his smug fucking face, his stupid metal arm and how insanely beautiful he was. Even when he was angry you couldn’t help but fall deeper into the blue pools of his eyes, soaking in the wetness of his waves and basking in the sun of his heated words. You were utterly confused by your feelings, your hatred and infatuation went hand in hand and the fact that you didn’t fully understand why yourself made you often lash out even harsher than you usually would.

Sometimes you just wanted to get on your knees and leave the smug little asshole a whimpering pathetic mess. You found the urge to do so creeping up more and more ever since you first saw him undoing his black tactical belt from his also pitch black cargo pants that were adorned with straps around his luscious thick thighs, doing so all whilst he was still screaming at you whilst yourselves and the team were stripping yourselves of your weapons in the Quinjet.

Your mind would often wonder what it would be like to have him turn you around and yank down your skin tight mission pants and spear his cock into you at a punishing pace all whilst he continued to berate you and whisper what a “good fucking whore” you were. Your pupils would dilate in what Bucky thought was intense anger as your mind drifted to how truly thick his cock must be , how heavy and aching his balls probably were. That’s when you first started to feel the fascination of taking him inside your mouth.

You loved oral. You loved being able to reduce your previous partners to whimpering sweating messes all from the comfort of your knees digging into the floor below. The thought of being able to turn the James Buchanan Barnes, a deadly world renown former hydra assassin in to a puddle above you sent your mind racing and your core aching at night for his rough touch and harsh words. You also loved the rush it gave you; to control someone as you seemed submissive and subservient below them when you were the one who was actually in control of them excited you beyond belief. The knowing of how Bucky was a forbidden lover, your teammate and a high ranking servicemen, a subject for your hatred sent you reeling. How perverse and forbidden it would be made the arousal all the more heightened. Sometimes you worried if Bucky’s enhanced senses could smell how dripping you were for him every time.

A part of you also longed for Bucky to take charge, to force you to the ground of the Quinjet in a harsh thud, bruising your knees without a care for you comfort. You relished in the fantasy of him wasting no time in ripping his cock out from the confines of his jeans and shoving it into your mouth and down your narrow throat. The thought of chocking on his length whilst his girth stretched your mouth impossibly wide and his balls coming to slap you harshly on the chin whilst he throat fucked you made it so difficult to battle with not doing so every time you both argued with each. You just wanted to shut him up. Shut him up the only way you knew how, by sucking James Buchanan Barnes’ soul out of his body.

In Bucky’s eyes you were a frustrating but alluring temptress; a vicious thorn in his side that he couldn’t pull out no matter how hard he tried. You were on his mind 24/7 and that fact alone fuelled his anger even more.

He hated when people didn’t follow the mission plan or his and Steve’s direct orders, and he really fucking hated it even more when you didn’t listen. You were a damn good fighter, skilled, poised, and so damn sexy in that black, skin-tight, fight suit. He often wondered why the hell they insisted on making your suit that way, it was beyond distracting for him, having to watch you bend down and pick things up after a mission, or watch you stand up on your tip toes and stretch to put guns and ammo away pissed him off to no end. The heaving swell of your breasts, the tempting curve of your lower back as it dipped perfectly into the round globes of your ass, your wet pouty lips that looked so soft and pillowy, and your dainty little hands. Oh, your hands, he often wondered how much thicker and bigger his already huge and heavy cock would look in your small hands.

He hated it and more importantly he hated you. At least that’s what he told himself every time he went to bed with his engorged cock frantically pounding into his tight and lubed-up fist. Hips stuttering, brow sweating, whimpers and please for his mind and his hips to just fucking stop making it feel so damn good.

Today was the last straw for Bucky. You had abandoned your post yet again when you saw a man trapped a few floors up in the crumbling building banging at the window for help. You immediately stopped covering for your team, knowing they were doing just fine on their own and that the rest of them would likely forgive you like they always did. They didn’t seem to mind when you pulled stunts like this, they knew you would assess when a situation was too difficult to leave and they trusted your gut instinct. You only left if you knew the team wasn’t in danger and that the civilian or civilians in question were in need of immediate attention.

Today was such a day. There had been a hydra attack on a company who’s confidential files they wanted access to. Bombs and explosions had been set off in the building causing it to weaken its structure; the building was slowly falling apart as it struggled to hold itself up. Looking around you saw Bucky watching you intently with a fire in his eyes and what, for a moment, seemed like sheer panic, but that fleeting moment vanished when his jaw clenched and you saw him knock out the assailant next to him without looking back, keeping his eyes trained on you the entire time. Bucky shook his head as to warn you not to do what he knew you were about to do but you just looked at him and shrugged as you took off running to the building’s entrance hearing him scream and shout your name as he tried to quickly battle the agents around him so he could get to you.

————

“Don’t do it, don’t you dare fucking do it…GET BACK HERE! Y/N GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!” Bucky screamed with rage as he continued to dodge the enemies attacks with ease, Steve and Natasha were close by doing the same, Clint was up top as usual taking out targets and Tony was blasting their armoured vehicles whilst rescuing what civilians he could.

“Buck!” Steve shouted “calm down she’ll be fine” he yelled over the noise of the battlefield as he knocked out another hydra agent

“No, Steve! She does this every time!”

“We’re fine! She knows not to leave if we’re struggling the girl’s not stupid she knows we can handle this right now” he shouted back over the chaos.

“The buildings going to fucking collapse, Steve! She’ll die in there!” He yelled, his eyes almost seemed red, his eyes frantically searching his friends face, pleading for him to understand.

Steve’s face immediately softened “Bucky, why didn’t you just tell her?” Another swift knock out as he roundhouse kicked one them and Bucky punched the other sending him flying into a nearby tree.

“There is nothing to tell, Steve! She hates me!” He said out of breath, too many emotions coursing through him.

“She doesn’t hate you, she just hates the way you grill her and the way you treat her. I don’t think she could ever truly hate you if you tried”

“I don’t know about that, I was a real grade A asshole to her, but I was only trying to keep her safe”

“Safe from what?”

“Safe from this shit! Safe from running off head first in to battle! Safe from getting stabbed! Safe from someone taking her to get to me! Safe from me!” He yelled with tears in his broken eyes.

At that moment, the ground around rumbled quietly as if on the precipice of something horrible, a foreboding darkness of something much worse to come. With the last of the agents down, the group went deadly silent as Bucky’s head whipped round to watch his worst nightmare unfold before him. There was a pregnant stale silence as no one dared to move. “no” Bucky cried gently and whispered to himself as he watched the building slowly succumb to the vibrations, it’s weakened structure finally giving way.

He lunged forward to foolishly go after you, but was quickly apprehended by Steve who tackled him to the ground

“Get off me, Steve!”

“No! You’re not going in there after her on a suicide mission!”

“I need to! I need to try and save her!”

“She’ll make it out, Bucky. It’s fine, it’s gonna be fine, just calm down”

Bucky was thrashing and screaming against Steve’s firm hold.

“Greetings! I have destroyed all the enemies on the west side!” Thor boomed after descending from the sky with a thud appearing besides the now baffled team.

“Dude, we don’t need your cheery optimism right now” Tony staged whispered causing Thor to look on confused at the commotion in front of them.

“Thor, a little help here!” Steve shouted as Thor then noticed the obvious struggle to hold his friend down

“Ahh, yes, hold on one moment!” he said as he strolled over and placed Mjölnir on top of Bucky’s chest so he could not move from the ground.

“Thanks” Steve said breathlessly as he got up and dusted himself off.

“I’m gonna fucking kill you!” Bucky screamed at his friend.

“I’m seriously going to fucking kill you, Steve! Get this damn fucking thing off me or so help me god, I will hit you so hard you’ll go back to being a 90 pound asthmatic!” he threatened through gritted teeth as Steve disregarded his comment and looked onwards at the collapsing building.

Bucky tilted his head back to watch the scene behind him on the floor, noticing the noise and vibrations of the crumbling building as it shook once more and collapsed entirely.

Before Bucky could fully react to the loss of you, he noticed a figure stumbling out of the cloud of dust and smoke, tumbling over the debris whilst carrying someone beside you. The team knew you’d be okay, you always were, but they couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief upon seeing you, Tony was milliseconds away himself from flying over there and blasting a hole in the rubble to find you.

“See I told you she’d be okay” Steve said as Bucky whipped his head back to his best friend and glared at him. His momentarily softening eyes then tilting back to you as he continued to lay flat on the floor.

“Get this damn thing off me, now” he said calmly “I want to go back to the Quinjet” his demeanour was too calm and reserved but Steve elected to ignore it, not wanting to deal with his friends roller coaster of emotions right now.

“Thor” Steve deadpanned, causing the God to chuckle and promptly remove Mjölnir from Bucky’s chest.

Bucky got up from the ground immediately, taking one last look at you before storming off to the Quinjet muttering to himself.

—

Bucky watched from his spot in the jet as you sat by Natasha laughing and smiling like you almost didn’t just get crushed to death by a building. You were relatively unscathed apart from some grey rubble in your hair and dust on your face, a few minor cuts and scrapes on your arms and an overall dishevelled appearance.

Bucky scoffed as he watched you, he folded his arms and glared at the empty bench in front of him.

“Got something to say, Barnes?” You questioned at the noise he let out. Natasha rolled her eyes and left your side to pester Clint in the cockpit.

Bucky remained silent. Refusing to acknowledge you or your words.

Oh, this is new…

“What, no scathing remark about my insubordination? No embarrassing lecture in front of everyone?” You retorted hoping to catch his attention.

Silence.

What is up with him?

“Y/N, don’t” Steve warned noticing his friend was very genuinely upset this time

“Who cares? He speaks to me like shit constantly”

Bucky muttered something under his breath causing you to snap your gaze back to him with a glare

“I’m sorry, what was that?”

Bucky turned his head up to you, nostrils flaring “I said that’s rich coming from you since you don’t care about anyone but yourself!” He roared

Okay, wow? Maybe he is a little angrier than usual. Still hot though—bad brain!

“You’re kidding right? I saved that man!”

“Congratulations! Whoop de fucking do!” He shouted as he waved his hands in the air in an animated fasion “what about the rest of us? How the fuck do you think we’d feel seeing you get crushed by a fucking building! You always do this! You run in headfirst and don’t think how the rest of us would feel to see you die in front of us!”

Was it you or did his voice sound like it was trembling? You didn’t realise Bucky even cared this much about your well-being.

“Oh, fuck you! Don’t act as if you even care about me!”

“Of course I care about you!” He screamed back in your face as the Quinjet landed and the team began to stroll out disregarding the two of you and your usual antics.

“You’re full of shit, Barnes. You couldn’t give a flying fuck if I live or die! You’ve made it evidently clear from day one how little you respect me. Don’t pretend to care about me”

“D-did..did you just fucking say that I don’t care if you die?” Bucky muttered worryingly calm.

“Uh..y-yes?” You said unsure of yourself from the way he had responded to you.

“You know what? We’re done here. Do whatever the fuck you want, Y/N” he said solemnly avoiding your gaze and marching off the jet.

You watched him silently as he left, confused by his ever changing roledex of emotions, anger and frustration bubbling inside of you. As the last person turned through the main doors, you pushed the hatch button to seal up the jet once more. As soon as it was shut you let out a booming frustrating scream and pulled at your hair frantically kicking everything around you with a cathartic need to let out months worth of anger and confusion.

——

“Have you seen Y/N?” Bucky said, it had been quite a few hours since he last caught wind of your presence and he honestly just wanted to explain his actions and apologise. After calming down when he was back in his room, he realised what an asshole he had been. Yeah, what you’ve been doing needs a serious discussion on self destructive behaviours, but Bucky was in the wrong for how he chose to speak to you and act before, during, and after missions. Even in the compound he was dismissive of you and spoke to you like you were less than him on a daily basis.

He needed to come clean and apologise for all of it, be a grown up for once and tell you how he felt about you, because today made him realise how close he was to losing you.

If he was lucky, maybe you wouldn’t slap him across the face.

Steve shook his head at his friends question, “no, not seen her since getting off the jet”

Bucky paused. Worried that he had caused you to leave, that you had finally had enough of his selfish behaviour towards you and left everything behind. Without another word Bucky took off in the opposite direction leaving Steve behind him smiling at his oblivious friend and shaking his head.

“Idiots”

Bucky was frantically running around checking any place you could possibly be, asking anyone he passed with a stressed out worried look on his face. The only place left to look was the Quinjet still parked in the hanger with the doors shut, if you weren’t there, Bucky thought he might just lose his mind with grief. It was too close a call today, he nearly witnessed you die before his very eyes, before he ever got to make things write and tell you how he felt.

Running up to the hanger, his heart in his throat, he punched the door release valve to the Quinjet and waited the long torturous few seconds till the ramp descended.

Bucky's heart broke at the site. There you were stood in one of the corners, your forehead resting on the wall, shoulders rising and falling as you struggled to catch your breath. The inside of the jet was a complete bomb site around you, you had clearly let out some explosive rage and trashed the place, broken equipment and scattered paperwork was thrown all over the floor. The noise of the ramp thumping to the ground broke you out of your trance as you turned to look at Bucky with wide red rimmed eyes, Bucky looked back at you equally as hurt, tears forming at the corner of his eyes.

You opened your mouth to say something but no sound left you, you watched on confused as Bucky paced towards you like a man on a mission, surging forward grabbing your face with both hands and wasting no time in pulling you in for an all consuming breath-taking kiss. You squealed into his mouth in surprise but that was quickly replaced with a soft moan as your eyes fluttered closed, wrapping your arms around him and tangling your hands in his hair causing him to let out a low groan against your mouth.

The kiss deepened as your tongues swirled together, Bucky’s head tilting at an angle to take you further, pushing your body till your back met the Quinjet wall with a loud thud.

The sound broke you out of your Bucky induced hypnotic state as you both pulled apart, panting into each others opened mouths whilst you searched each other’s eyes. A sudden rage flew over you as you remembered who it really was that just kissed you, you brought your hand up and slapped him hard across the face causing his head to twist with your palm.

“Fuck you! Fuckyoufuckyoufuckyou” you chanted as you brought your fists to strike against his hard chest

“Stop it, y/n” he warned softly.

“No, fuck you! How could you do that!”

Your fists came down again but this time Bucky caught them as he shoved your hands above your head, pinning your further into the wall, his steel hard body pressing against yours.

Face red, eyes watering, chest heaving, Bucky thought even now you looked absolutely breathtakingly beautiful.

“How could you do that! You treat me like shit pretty much since the day we met and then you fucking kiss me! I hate this! I hate you!” You screamed in his face.

It was evident to Bucky that you were clearly having a panic attack of some sort, months of high intense emotions, perplexing feelings, and pent up rage had gotten to you and you had finally reached a boiling point.

“No... you don’t” he replied softly “and contrary to what you believe, to what I’ve foolishly made you believe, I don’t hate you, I never could… not--not even a little bit” he said with so much emotion staring into your bright eyes, gently letting go of your wrists as he brought his flesh hand to delicately cup your face and wipe your fresh tears away with a caress of his callused thumb.

“W-why?” You said as your breathing began to calm down, his heart racing at the way you nuzzled into his palm subconciously.

“My fucked up brain thought if I pushed you away no one would know how much you mean to me. No one could use the way I feel about you to get to me, no one could hurt you to hurt me if I kept you at a distance. But I can’t do that anymore, seeing you every mission run into the line of fire like that…it breaks me. I’d never be able to live with myself if you left me. Today… today was too close, y/n” he frantically searched your eyes looking like he was about to burst into tears again “I had to sit there and watch as I thought a building had fallen on top of you. I couldn’t do anything. Thor and Steve restrained me so I didn’t go in after you…I-I- I can’t do it anymore, y/n. Baby, please, you have to stop doing this, please please stop I’m begging you, I can’t see something like that again”

Your heart rate picked up at the soft nickname, bringing your hand to press against the one that was still lovingly embracing your cheek. Your grabbed his hand as you tilted your head towards it planting a kiss on the palm, you didn’t miss the way Bucky’s breath hitched in his throat as he then brought his face closer to yours.

“I’m sorry, Bucky. I-I don’t know why…why I keep acting this way. I just want to save everyone that I can but a fucked up part of me doesn’t care whether I live or die because the only person I’ve ever loved didn’t see me that way….so there was no point in living. And if I went out in a heroes death? …well, at least my life would have been worth something”

His breath hitched again, not only at your admission of love that you carelessly glossed over , but the words that had confirmed you truly had been on a suicide mission “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I’m so fucking sorry” you both lunged for each other again as Bucky pressed you into the wall once more, the kiss no longer as passionate but more of hunger and lust, like you were a fountain of water in arid desert and he was a desperate man dying to drink from you.

Limbs a tangling mess as your groped at each other’s bodies, you whimpered softly at the feeling of Bucky’s hips pressing into yours, feeling the hardness of his cock in his tactile pants rut and push against your abdomen.

It was at that moment that you had a wicked idea, a way to simultaneously apologise to your man and make him beg for forgiveness. You knew you both needed to have a much longer heart to heart, to put it all on the table and deal with your issues, but right now, Bucky has trying to pour all of his thoughts and feelings into you and you were desperate to finally feel him inside of you. Logic could wait, because neither of you could anymore.

You pulled apart from him, a string of saliva connecting you both as you gazed into his eyes. Bucky looked puzzled as to why you pulled away and why you had that smug look on your face that meant you were probably up to something.

Bucky automatically let go of your waist when he felt you move away from him.

“What are you do—” his words caught in his throat as he witnessed you slide down the wall slowly, maintaining eye contact the entire time as your knees finally found the ground.

“O-oh” he gasped softly realising what you were about to do.

“What are you doing, baby?” He whispered to you as he tucked a loose strand of hair behind you ear and held the side of your face lovingly, looking at you with such adoration that it made your already rapidly beating heart soar further.

You refused to answer him as you nuzzled your face into the bulge if his tactical pants, rubbing your face slowly against him to provide him with friction.

Bucky hissed as you then began to to leave sloppy open mouthed kisses on the fabric, he could practically feel the heat emanating form your mouth.

“F-fuck-k, y/n, you don’t need to do that, come back up here, doll. Wanna kiss you some more” he slurred slightly, his eyes looked like they were already glossing over.

“Wanna taste you” you replied looking up at him with doe eyes, your palms slowly rubbing up his thighs bringing them slowly to the zipper and buttons of his pants.

“Wanna show you how sorry I really am” Bucky was panting like a feral animal in anticipation of your touch.

“It’s me who needs to apologise, doll” he said breathlessly as he watched you slowly bring his zipper down teasing him.

“Shhhh” you said seductively kissing up his abdomen and down his happy trail searching for your prize

“But-“

Bucky was interrupted by your soft gasp as your hands pulled down his pants and boxers leaving them situated on his thick bulging thighs “it’s so big” you moaned wantonly as you wasted no time gripping him and stroking his member slowly.

“Fucking s-shit!” He cried as his hand came to smack against the wall with a loud reverberating thud above you.

As his hunched over form leaned over you, you wasted seemingly no time in kitten licking his swollen red tip. Bucky then brought his metal hand down to grip the back of your hair as if to ground himself in restraint.

“God, why is it sooo biiiiggg?” you pulled away and moaned to yourself as you again took his tip into your warm wet mouth slurping and flicking your tongue all over the head with much more fervour and enthusiasm.

Bucky's hips stuttered as his hand on the wall tired to find more purchase, his other hand in your hair gripping your locks harder.

“Baby...stop fucking teasing, pl--” Bucky once again choked on his words as you propelled your mouth down his shaft in a suprising display of talent Bucky had never witnessed from previous partners before. Your mouth engulfed his entire length till your face was flush with his mound, your throat blanketing his tip in a warm wet hug.

“o-oh-oh god!” he shouted throwing his head back and squeezing his eyes shut tightly “fuckfuckfuckfuck” he muttered into the ceiling as if he was praying to a higher force to not let him cum just yet. The sweaty palm against the wall turned into a white knuckled fist in his anguish.

Your eyes deliciously rolled back into your skull as you relished in the way this big strong man whimpered before you already.

Wanting to simultaneously torture him even more and apologise and beg for forgiveness, you began to throw your head back and forth in an up and down bobbing motion, loud slurping sounds echoing in the room mixing with his desperate groans, bubbling white saliva trickling down your mouth and neck. Bucky was slowly losing it, he held your hair in a vice grip and shoved your face flush against his pelvis, crying out at the sound of you wretching and gagging on his unforgiving length, the sordid noise of saliva spitting out the crevises of your mouth. Bucky’s own mouth parted in astonishment as he saw you staring up at him watching his every move.

Going in for the kill, you reached your tongue out and began to lap at his swollen heavy sack whilst his impossibly long length was throbbing in your throat.

“oh my fucking god!” he cried in disbelief and overwhelming pleasure as his fist repeatedly punched against the mental wall, forming a crator in its wake.

“jesus fucking christ holy shit— b-baby, baby stop!” he cried his fist giving way causing his arm to slide against the wall, propelling his body forward as he slipped lurching his shaft further into your throat as his body leaned over further, his head now resting in the crook of his elbow with his arm now against the wall, that deadly grip still in your hair with the other.

“baby please fuck please stop oh oh s-shit”

ignoring him completely you continued to let you throat constrict around him as you felt him engorge slightly on the precipice of exploding in your mouth already, your devlish tongue continue to lick and lap aginst the underside of his sack.

“Sweetheart…please” his eyes were watering as he begged and thrashed against your sinful mouth. “I’m so fucking close” he whimpered “please please baby, wanna cum in your pussy first let me feel you let me feel you please”

When you still didn’t budge high off the wah you were ruining him, Bucky lost his patience and growled before ripping you from his cock and bringing you to a stand by the grip on you hair.

Bucky glared at your with black eyes, teeth baring and snarling as you stares back at him with wide panicked eyes, panting heavily and wiping the pools of saliva from your mouth and chin. You both looked the very definition of deadly apex predator and meek terrified prey.

Bucky yanked your head back to force you to look up at him further as he leaned in further to you continuing to growl lowly in frustration.

When you went to mistakenly open your mouth Bucky slammed his palm against your mouth and shoved you painfully against the Quinjet wall whilst his free hand began to rip your pants and panties from your leg, too rushed and desperate to pull them from the other leg. Your pussy was on display and accessible to his cock so that was all he fucking cared about in this moment.

Bucky threw you further up the wall and you immediately wrapped your legs around his torso. Bucky let go of your hand and brought it back to your cheek , bringing the force of his body to pin you to the wall whilst his other hand came down to the other side of your face. Grabbing your heated face in both hands he stared into your eyes, searching back and forth as he rested his forehead against yours.

Keeping you situated with his body and his metal arm he brought his flesh one to his crotch. The sight of him spitting into his open palm and momentarily jerking himself whilst he continued to stare into your soul sent a new gush of arousal to seep from within you dribbling down your spread thighs.

Inching forward to your face, he brought his pelvis closer, the hot tip of his cock latching on to your open hole. Bucky pushed into you slowly inch by inch as you both stared into each other’s eyes, mouths gaping and panting as he slowly savoured the way your walls wrapped around his cock till he bottomed out to the hilt

Two glorious things happened in that moment; one, you clenched hard as your eyes rolled back , and two, Bucky let out a shamelessly loud cry of pleasure.

“Fucking —“ Bucky wrapped his free hand around the back of your head as he cuddled you to his chest resting his chin atop of your dishevelled hair, grunting and thrusting into you with abandon. “O-o-oh fuck— ah! Baby! You — y-you feel so perfect oh g-god I don’t— ah shit— I don’t th-think I’ll ever be able to live without this pussy now that I’ve finally felt just how fucking good you feel”

Mewling and whimpering pleas into his clothed chest “oh-o-oh my god!” You screamed “oh god oh god, your cock is so fucking deep inside of me!”

“Yeah? Can you feel me all the way inside you, princess? Y-you feeling every painful fucking inch sink as deep as it can go?” Bucky’s hips began to pick up some speed as he panted and moaned against your collarbone, gnawing at your flesh and licking away the pain.

You began to claw at his clothed back, hard enough to still leave vicious marks even through the fabric, the sensation causing Bucky’s hips to momentarily stutter before they picked up pace again.

“God your cock is so fucking big ! I feel so full oh my god” you cried throwing your head back

“S-shit” Bucky cursed against you, your screams and declarations of his size and how good he felt were beginning to form a warm tingling sensation in his lower back “best fucking pussy I’ve ever had” he muttered drunkenly into your chest as he bowed his head down to watch the way your tits swayed and bounced with every jerking movement against the wall

“Fuck!” You screamed clenching hard around his cock, hearing him moan and curse in your ear was getting you nearer to your own end already “why -w-why weren’t we doing this sooner” you gasped and hiccuped your words

“I-I- …fuuuuucking shit, I don’t know. Probably because I’m a fucking idiot” he chuckled as he resumed panting against your mouth.

“All this time, you could have been burried deep deep inside my tight little pussy” you cooed seductively as your words caused him to groan in anguish forcing himself not to start feeling like he was about to cum.

“Stop”

“Think about it, Bucky” you babbled as you gingerly stroked his flushed cheek and bit your plush lips “for months now you could have been stretching me open, making me take it so soooo fucking deep”

“Doll” he said in a final warning tone, but Bucky had yet to tame your brattish behaviour.

Ruffling your fingers through his now sweaty brown locks, your nails scratching delicately at his scalp “God, Bucky…you’re so thick, can’t beli—oh god can’t believe it even fits inside me, you’re so p-perfe-fect, every —everything’s perfect— god I need your fucking cum!”

Bucky lost it at that point, snarling into you as he shoved your trembling legs over the crooks of his elbows and pushed his body further against yours , causing you legs to stretch wide and angle his cock further to explore new depths no one had ever reached before.

“Ah! Bucky!” You screamed immediately as you felt his hot tip push into your cervix without remorse “Ah!Ah!Ah!”

“Fucking take it” he growled sounding more animal than human at this point “I want to fucking destroy you” he purred in your ear “wanna fucking ruin you for anyone else till all you know, all you think, all you live and breathe is to fucking worship my huge Ah! My huge fucking cock”

“God yes yes! I don’t want anyone else ! Only you oh fuck —“

Buckys eyes widened as he felt you began to clench more and more around his cock like your greedy pussy was chasing something. “S-shit” he whispered in disbelief watching the extreme pleasure grace your features and turn you into a babbling drooling mess “are you actually about to fucking cum?!”

“God yes s’close” you drooled

“Can’t believe you’re about to cum without me even fucking touching that pretty little clit. That how desperate you are ? That you’re going to cum just from being fucking used like a little fleshlight?”

“Yes! Yes! Daddy! I’m about to fucking cum oh god daddy please”

Bucky whimpered against you at the pet name , descending faster and faster as he began to feel himself lose control too.

“Fuck, baby. I’m gonna cum, oh shit , I’m so close y/n I can’t I can’t oh shit”

“Oh god daddy I want your cum so bad”

Both of your orgasms were breaching the precipice, tingling sensations and heat coursing through you both and blanketing your whole nervous systems leaving you both whimpering and grinding against each other as you both tried to find your own highs

“Shit! Where ? Where, y/n—w-where do you want me to cum?” He chocked in a broken moan as he struggled to even speak now

“I-inside!” Was your only delerious reply

Bucky’s hips stuttered once more as he felt his full and engorged balls tightening in anticipation.

“A-are you sure? S-shit I’m gonna blow my load right now if you keep talking like that”

“Yes fuck! Please daddy, want that cum so deep inside me, want to feel you filling me up need all your cum please bucky I can’t hold on anymore”

“Oh shit baby!” He cried, his shaft and tip fattenening and beginning to throb harshly inside you, the sensation against your sensitive and battered walls throwing you into your own spend as you felt the warmth tingling sensation wash over your entire being making your toes curl “daddy I’m cumming ! Oh god I’m cumming!”

“Fuuuuck” Bucky cried hearing you sound so broken and loud, your pussy gripping him so tight he thought he might never be able to pull out. His own high being catapulted forward at the sensation of you milking his sack for all it was worth “fuck y/n, baby I love you!” He cried into your shoulder not even realising the confession that left his lips, tears streaming down his face as he shoved your limp body further up the wall and pressed himself painfully hard against you, leaving hardly any room for his thrusts but instead opting to just give dirty sinful slow and hard grinds against your core “I’m coming! Shit I’m coming! Oh oh god!” He stilled inside you burying himself the deepest he could possibly reach to pour gallons upon endless gallons of his thick heavy load into your cunt.

The wicked sensation of him claiming your womb sent you into another mini orgasm “I’m coming again!” You sobbed hugging him tightly as your legs began to shake uncontrollably as you screamed.

Bucky was howling and whimpering into your neck like a deranged animal as his large hands were still splayed against the wall, almost slipping as he felt you tightly milk him further whilst his first huge load left him overstimulated and was still continuing to pump into you at full speed.

“Shit, y/n, pussy so good I can’t stop fucking cumming oh shit”

A few minutes later Bucky’s deep grinds began to slow as his squirts of hot load began to weaken in strength and volume, he heard the messy sounds of his cum over flowing and dripping onto the floorboards below. The sheer amount flooding out of you because your body could no longer hold any more of his never ending cum.

“God Bucky there’s so much cum inside me, feel so full” you moaned lowly

“Shh shh! Don’t fucking say anything , I’ll fucking cum all over again if you talk like that please doll —I can’t so fucking sensitive god i-it just won’t stop”

“Oh god daddy yes I want more cum please!”

“Stop being a fucking greedy cumslut” he spat

“Mmm god I’m so full, daddy used my holes and filled me with so much cum.” how the fuck was Bucky suppose to control himself now? A man only had so much will power.

“You know what? Fucking take it then!” Bucky pulled from your weeping slit with lightening speed , his cock still dripping with fresh cum and pooling onto the floor below, he threw you harshly to the ground and flipped you over, yanking your hips up and forcing your back down so your ass was arched in the air, he spread your legs apart with his hands and lined his leaking cock with your puffy swollen lips, creamy and white and leaking his jet loads of cum onto the Quinjet floor. With no warning he forced his way back inside you with such strength and speed that the sound of your pussy squirting out a large amount of his cum and splashing it back onto him could be heard mixing with your screams and moans.

“Not leaving this damn jet till you fucking pass out and even then I’ll keep fucking filling your cunt. I warned you I was going to destroy you, and now I fucking will”

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noteguk · 4 years ago

Text

a little while | kth | m

↳ inspired by the song “a little while” by yellow days.

— summary; in which Taehyung realizes that he was wrong in thinking that being friends with benefits with you wouldn’t backfire.

— contents and warnings; angsty smut!!, pretty much pwp, taehyung is emotional, fwb au, Taehyung x reader, protected sex, dirty talk (honestly like one sentence), unrequited feelings, kind of soft sex :( taehyung is whipped and sad about it

— words; 2k

— author’s note; I’ve been feeling kind of stuck with my other wips so I wrote this drabble to unwind :) idk if I plan to write more of it but who knows!!! My two functioning neurons are very unpredictable.

That was supposed to be easy.

That was all that Taehyung could think about: you two, whatever you had going on; that was supposed to be easy. It was the whole point of even starting something like that in the first place. It was the entire motive behind why anyone would ever accept a friend with benefits — no strings attached, no clingy calls, no emotional baggage. It was supposed to be a quick situation, convenient; Taehyung was supposed to see you every once in a while, maybe even forget about you, until he decided that he wanted to get his dick wet again.

It was supposed to be easy.

“Is this okay for you?” Taehyung asked, leaning a bit closer to your face. He loved staring at you like that: with your hair sprawled on the pillow and your pouty lips inviting him into a kiss. He had grown used to having you under him, and it had quickly become one of his favorite pastimes. “Want me to go faster?”

You shifted around under him, your hands moving up to rest on his shoulders. “It’s alright, I like it slow too.”

And he could only nod, because his mind was thinking too many things that he could not say. It was supposed to be fucking easy, but somewhere along the way, Taehyung had ruined everything. It was just a matter of time before the whole situation went up in flames and he managed to lose both his friend and what might just be the love of his life in one go.

Because Taehyung had broken the first and most important rule of having a friend with benefits: whatever you do, don’t catch feelings.

And now he was rocking into you slowly, sensually, actually making love to you instead of the way he usually fucked — fast, rough, with your loud moans filling his lungs until he found his high. It was ridiculous. He felt nauseous.

Worst part was that he was almost sure you didn’t feel the same — and the “almost” was because there was a small fragment of hope inside his chest that really tried to convince him that he had a shot. That maybe the way you looked at him showed something beyond hunger and lust. Maybe you actually cared for him. Maybe you wanted more and you weren’t brave enough to tell him.

“Actually, could you go a bit faster?”

Your voice shot him straight back down into reality. Taehyung only nodded, mumbling something that not even he understood before burying his face on the crook of your neck and raising the speed of his thrusts. The world around him felt suffocating and confusing, not even your honeyed moans against his ear could raise his spirit.

Still he tried to ground himself, his hands digging to your hips as he closed his eyes, focusing on the drag of your walls against his cock. The feeling was overwhelming, dizzying, earned a low groan from him as he continued to fuck you like you deserved to be fucked. Taehyung managed to pretend that everything was alright for exactly two minutes before you spoke up again.

“God, that feels so good,” you cried out. His cock throbbed inside you at your words, his mind spinning at the sensation of you growing tighter. Taehyung was obsessed with you in every way, completely enthralled by how your body reacted to his, so eager to feel more. “Want you to kiss me, Tae.”

You always asked that when you were getting close and Taehyung was always fast to do it. His lips were on yours before he could even think about it, his tongue crawling inside your mouth as he groaned against the kiss. God, he could make out with you forever, it wasn’t even a joke.

Taehyung was absolutely whipped and that was a problem.

He removed one hand from your hips and trailed it down your arm slowly, reaching your hand and intertwining his fingers in yours. He moaned against your mouth, feeling his orgasm building up on the base of his spine, and pressed your hand down on the mattress as he continued to bury himself inside you.

“Tae,” you sobbed his name so beautifully that he swore he could cum right at that instant. “I’m so close.”

“It’s okay, baby, you can let it go,” he said, his voice so deep that you felt it vibrating inside your chest. “I got you. Cum on my cock for me. Wanna feel you.”

And you did, because it was like the universe was mocking him about how perfect you could be. Taehyung groaned — both in pleasure and in frustration — as your pussy clenched around his aching cock, your thighs trembling on either side of his body while you cried out his name. It was a flawless melody composed just for him: your voice dancing in the air, the lewd sounds of your wetness as he continued to thrust in and out of you.

Taehyung, just to top it all off, committed the huge mistake of actually making eye contact with you as you came down from your high. It suddenly was too much: your hooded eyes, your parted lips, the blissful expression that covered your features. You were too much.

“Fuck, baby,” Taehyung cursed. He closed his eyes, paying full attention to his growing pleasure. “You’re so beautiful.”

He didn’t really mean to confess that out loud, but you didn’t seem to mind. You smiled, that gorgeous, drowsy smile you always gave him after he had made you cum, and Taehyung swore he was in heaven. “Are you gonna cum?” You asked, earning an eager nod in return. His hair was a mess over his eyes, sweaty and disorganized, covering his gaze as he looked down to see where the two of you met. You were made for him, your pussy was made for him, and he couldn’t take that idea out of his mind. “It’s okay, Tae, you can cum.”

Again, the universe was mocking him, because within a few seconds he was doing just that. Taehyung pressed his forehead against your shoulder and spilled himself inside the condom, wishing profusely — pretending, almost — that the latex barrier wasn’t there, and that he was filling you up with his cum instead, making you his. And that was enough to prolong his high a little further, his cock throbbing as he dove into that fantasy.

But, eventually, it had to end.

The silence that followed was thick and overbearing, but comfortable regardless. Most of the time it went like that: with the two of you basking in the afterglow of your orgasms, drowning in the heat of one another without saying a word. Taehyung did not know what went on inside your head, but he knew that he needed those few seconds of silence to reset his thoughts, to try and bury the emotions that ever so gradually started to build up.

Basically, he had to take a moment to remind himself that he had absolutely no chance with you.

You sighed deeply, your fingers diving into Taehyung’s soft locks. He had collapsed against your chest, trying to regain his breath and, at the gentle caresses of your fingers, you felt his heart leap inside his chest, pounding against your skin.

“That was nice,” you said daintily. He only hummed in agreement, worried he would slip and say something he didn’t mean to. “I have to go, though.”

Just like that, Taehyung felt like he just got stabbed in the fucking jugular. He whipped his head away from your chest faster than he could think (after all, he should’ve enjoyed a few extra seconds of boob time if he had the chance) and his mouth fell open for a moment before his words finally came out. “Don’t— Don’t you wanna stay the night?”

If you thought that his plea was desperate, which it was, you didn’t let it show. You smiled, leaning back to you could shift into a seating position on the bed. The two of you were facing each other then, so close and yet miles apart. “I don’t think I have the energy for round three,” you answered playfully.

Taehyung had two conflicting answers fighting in his head. The first one was that it wasn’t for sex, something along the lines of “actually, I might be in love with you and I don’t want you to go”; the second one was the one that you wanted to hear: “it’s okay, I’ll do all the work anyways”. And, yet, as the brave battle continued inside his mind, he was left to stare in silence as you jumped out of the bed and started seeking for your clothes.

“Besides,” you continued, “I have that research presentation tomorrow.”

Oh yeah, that stupid research thing. The reason why you had to schedule that Emergency Unwinding Session with Taehyung in the first place. His initial bliss, but his final demise. How poetic.

“It’s fine, I get it.” Taehyung watched your little wiggling dance as you placed your pants back on. He would’ve teased you about it if his heart wasn’t in absolute shambles. “Can I see you later tomorrow, then?”

You didn’t even hesitate to twist the blade. “Won’t happen. It’s Yongsun’s birthday and we are going to this fancy sushi bar downtown,” you said. The universe truly hated Taehyung and you were completely dressed by the time you leaned in to place a kiss against his forehead. “But we’ll figure something out. I owe you a third round.”

Taehyung forced out a laugh, trying to brush away the storm cloud over his head. However, he couldn’t even convince himself that he was fine. “Sure. We can figure it out.”

You hummed and ran your fingers through your hair, trying to make it a bit more presentable. “I have the copy of the keys that Jimin gave me, so you don’t have to worry about locking the door. Just go to sleep and I’ll lock it on my way out.”

Taehyung simply nodded because he seriously didn’t think he could say anything without completely confessing his emotions. They were so bottled up that he felt them building up in his throat, like a shaken bottle of soda about to explode.

“See you, Tae. Thanks for tonight,” you said on your way out of his room.

He responded with a timid, “See you,” that he was a hundred percent sure you didn’t even hear. A few seconds later, the sound of his front door closing was like thunder echoing around his empty room.

Taehyung sighed and threw himself back against the mattress, covering his eyes with the palm of his hand. He was so fucked. So fucking whipped. He just wanted to scream against his pillow until it all went away, but he knew that it wouldn’t. He couldn’t confess to you because he was sure that you didn’t feel the same, and he couldn’t let you go because he was selfish: he wanted you one way or another, even if he had to disguise his emotions and pretend that everything was fine.

He removed his hand from his face and stared up at the white ceiling, at the slices of moonlight that came from his open window. Taehyung decided that he would just continue faking that he was fine with the idea of being friends with benefits with you. But could he do it? Could he keep it up? For how long? Taehyung had endured those acting sessions for a bit too long then, and he didn’t know how much he could take before he reached his breaking point.

He groaned and rolled around on the bed. He just wanted to sleep.

That was supposed to be easy.

#bts smut #taehyung smut #smut #angst #drabble #pwp #taehyung pwp #taehyung #kim taehyung #x you #x reader #bts angst #taehyung angst #smut drabble #taehyung x you #taehyung x reader #reader insert #bts x you #bts x reader

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morifinwes · 4 years ago

Note

Lauraa I finished all the fics, apart from decay (currently reading that now) and I love it sm! Especially the lip gloss one lmao the whole thing was so hilarious to me XD but also like the concept of lwj wearing lipgloss is >>> -yibobibo

@yibobibo then i'm going to rec you some more!! the lip gloss one was !!!!! ajsksks yes!! lwj wearing lipgloss is just so!! good!!

modern

this one is the painful one i talked about:

visitations by var_abelasan (12K, wip, divorced wangxian, post divorce, most of this is angst, uhm lowkey don't but also do want wangxian to end up together, it's messy, the jiangs & lans are shitty, wwx was in prison (brief mentions of that but it's kind of a major plot point), mxy & xy are the little brothers he never wanted but wwx picked them up anyways)

"Wei Ying-" Lan Zhan says, stutters, "I'm sorry."

And now Wei Wuxian sees it, the red rimming Lan Zhan's eyes, the rumpled edges of his blazer. There is an old, familiar urge for him to reach over, to hold Lan Zhan's hand and smooth his hair, to tell him that everything will be fine.

"We're all a bit sorry about this, I think," he says instead, and finds that he means it. For Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji and everyone else in that Guanyin temple, the pain must be unbearably fresh, like skin just flayed open. But Wei Wuxian's chest had been cracked open a long time ago, his wounds licked and cauterized and sewn shut over five long years - Ever hurting, but a dull, constant ache, "It's really alright, Lan Zhan."

Five years after being accused of corporate espionage and losing everything, the Guanyin Scandal breaks open and Wei Wuxian finds a familiar face at his door.

please don't let me be misunderstood by sysrae (3K, partly deaf!wwx, lwj notices, nobody else does though, idk wwx is like made out of fucking steel or some shit)

Lan Wangji has known Wei Ying for a fortnight, the first time he sees him get hit by a car.

light by redkosmos (10K, blind!lwj, which causes angst, but they manage it, best friends to lovers, fluff, lwj being insecure and feeling like a burden, college au kind of? but it doesn't matter too much)

The realization slowly dawns on him.

He can never again see the brightness of Wei Ying's eyes, the way they crescent when he smiles, never again see the rich black of his hair, the mess of it in the early mornings, never again see the beautiful tan of his skin, the beauty of the scars and marks adorned on it, how he wears his clothes, how it hugs his frame beautifully, how he looks like he's adorably swimming in cloth when he wears Lan Zhan's, and-

(Lan Zhan loses his vision in a car accident and learns to cope with it.)

don't leave me by trippinonskies (19K, brief very brief mention of lwj cheating, he doesn't but wwx is afraid lwj is cheating on him or just wants to break up with him, (he doesn't), marriage proposal, lwj acting distant = wwx's insecurities show up, fluff, angst and comfort)

Lan Zhan! Where are you lost today?” Wei Wuxian finally asks, at the end of his patience.

Lan Zhan looks a little guilty as he looks at Wei Wuxian, “Sorry, just a lot of work to deal with.”

Lie.

If there is one thing Lan Zhan can’t do, it’s lying. Especially to Wei Wuxian. But he doesn’t question Lan Zhan. He just accepts the reply, too scared to know that he is right. Too scared to know the truth.

// or where Lan Zhan is too hung up in planning the perfect proposal and ends up accidently ignoring Wei Wuxian making the other think that he wants to break up //

want you closer by xiaobucephalus ((3K, HORSES, only in the background tho, but wwx is an equestrian vet, which is so fucking valid bro, the lans own horses, a sick bunny, lwj the bunny parent!, super cute, dark bay throughoutbred chenqing is honestly so valid)

“Thank you,” Lan Zhan said, breathing a sigh of relief.

“Don’t thank me, Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying laughed again, his voice warming the chill of fear that had settled in his chest. “I’ve been looking for an excuse to get into your hutch for a while anyway.”

safe in your thoughts by anonymous (20K, it's a cherry magic au???? (i haven't watched it, but you have i think?), horny lwj but only for wwx (always for wwx))

Wei Wuxian learns three very important things on the night of his twenty-seventh birthday.

One, that Lan Wangji is ridiculously funny, which Wei Wuxian had known before but what Wei Wuxain hadn’t expected was Lan Wangji to be funny at his brother’s expense.

Two, that Wei Wuxian had finally gone mad, absolutely mental at the ripe age of twenty seven because nothing else would explain the third thing he had learnt.

Third, and the most unbelievable of the lot, that Lan Wangji wants to fuck him.

iura by yoo_im_finally_writing (1K, only added bcs op is right and wwx would've the cutest german accent, it's more fun if you understand german so hit me up if you want translations for the german sentences)

Wei Ying calls in the middle of the night to talk about German law, and Lan Zhan tries very hard not to fall asleep. Or at least, not to let Wei Ying notice he's falling asleep. (As best friends do.)

breathe in the air, the last of its kind by wereworm / @neverdoingmuch (27K, getting together, jealous!lwj, but also kind of supportive, brief mention of cheating bcs of miscommunication, no actual cheating tho, college au, lwj pov)

Following Wei Ying’s line of sight, Lan Wangji can barely prevent a smile from crossing his lips when he sees the short row of rabbit statuettes placed at the front of the display. Silver, with bright gems for eyes, they look elegant yet lively and animated.

“A-Yuan would love one of those,” Wei Ying murmurs, almost as if to himself.

Lan Wangji frowns; the rabbits, while cute, don’t seem like a suitable gift for Wei Ying’s A-Yuan.

...

It’s only when he glances back at the rabbits and notices what has been placed on display behind them, that the pieces fall into place. They’re engagement rings, there’s no doubt about it. Lan Wangji feels his heart sink – Wei Ying isn’t just dating A-Yuan, he wants to propose to him.

Or: the five times Lan Wangji thinks that A-Yuan is Wei Ying’s boyfriend and the one time he learns the truth.

paint smears on sunny days by snowshadowao3 / @angstsexual (53K, getting together, art teacher!wwx, single parent!lwj, they're rich if i remember right, wwx & lwj are both good with kids!!!, this is so good actually, fluff)

To say that he runs to his car would be incorrect, as he is a Lan, and running is both undignified and unnecessary unless in immediate danger. Nor does he slam his key into the ignition, or aggressively swerve around the cars on the freeway, or have a mild panic attack at the fact he is picking A-Yuan up late from school for the first time ever.

He comes close, though.

By the time he arrives, it’s 4:35PM, and he has imagined about fifty different worse-case scenarios. The door is partly open when he gets to it, a messy label of 104B—Art Room scrawled with chalk on a placard next to the faded wood. As he opens it fully, he expects to see a wailing, terrified child, or perhaps a scene of utter misery and betrayal.

What he finds is his son, hands covered in paint, being sung to by a beautiful, dark-haired stranger.

“Ducks live in the pond, yellow ducks, happy ducks!”

Lan Wangji stops in his tracks.

(Or: Falling in love with your son’s art teacher, in five parts)

no bunny compares by gusucloudbunny (4K, god this is cute, fluff)

“Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian cornered his friend one week before his birthday. “If you could have anything in the world, what would it be?”

Lan Wangji furrowed his brow at Wei Wuxian, not exactly sure how to answer that question in a truthful manner that didn’t involve confessing his undying love for his best friend.

Wei Wuxian is on a mission to get Lan Wangji the perfect gift for his birthday. What Wei Wuxian doesn't know is that the only thing Lan Wangji truly wants is him.

wei wuxian's week of realizing things by photojenny (12K, i have read this multiple times, i always forget what happens, idk why but my notes say it's good, the tags say drunkji makes an appearance and i'm always up for that)

"Lan Zhan, do you like Mianmian?" asked Wei Wuxian.

Lan Wangji blinked, and stared. It was not the first time Lan Wangji had questioned the perceptiveness of the boy he had a crush on. Wei Wuxian had been smart in the class they had taken together. Yet time and time again, Wei Wuxian had tested the old wisdom that there are no stupid questions.

---

Lan Wangji must figure out how to confess when Wei Wuxian is the most oblivious person he's ever met.

are you my wisdom tooth? because i'd like to take you out by yellowcarnations (1K, crack, fluff, lwj stop flirting with a stranger, even if he is your husband, drunkji but make it to max level)

Lan Zhan wakes up and he has no idea where he is.

There are bright lights and his jaw hurts, he doesn't who this man next to his bed is but oh he might be in love, maybe, probably, definitely.

–

based off that guy-forgets-who-his-wife-is-and-hits-on-her vid but its wangxian.

beep! goes his heart by wearing_tearing (3K, fluff, lwj is like "he, he likes me right? he likes me" and everyone is like "yes, yes he does")

“Wei Ying’s heart monitor,” Lan Wangji starts.

Wen Qing blinks at him. “Yes?”

“It beeps.”

“That’s… what they generally do, yes.”

“The beeps change,” Lan Wangji continues, “when others are around.”

Wei Ying’s heart only sings for Lan Wangji.

canon

obedient and bellicose by thunderwear (19K, lwj is cursed by the lan elders, they notice too late, fix-it fic kind of?, lqr being a good uncle and lxc is a good brother, wwx accidentally uses the curse but he doesn't know about it)

It took Lan Wangji a long time to realize he was cursed. Too long really, anyone else would have noticed so much sooner. The problem was, he liked following the rules.

Ella Enchanted AU that no one needed but I wanted.

hello my old heart, how have you been? by ravenditefairylights (10K, amnesia, fluff, wwx taking care of lwj, so much fluff and softness, angst too but not that much)

The issue is, Lan Wangji brings his thoughts back before they stray too far, that it is impossible for someone to be in his bed, unless Lan Wangji himself invited them. He has not. He would remember doing so, and besides, all his night clothes are still on and there is no headache to imply that he was inebriated last night. No, the situation is simple.

There is someone in Lan Wangji’s bed. It is impossible for anyone to be in Lan Wangji’s bed, and yet that doesn’t seem to have stopped the stranger.

or lan wangji wakes up, and wei ying is there. he doesn't understand how or why, and he can understand even less why his hallucination of wei ying is so insistent on bathing him, and braiding his hair, on holding him and fixing his clothes. why the hallucination of wei ying seems so happy to see him.

teach me the way by likeafox (58K, rogue cultivator!wwx, horny wangxian, lwj wants wwx to teach him how to be a good lover, ....wwx is a virgin, the porn is the plot, but there's less of it than i thought)

"I do not wish to leave my future spouse… dissatisfied with my intimate knowledge,” Lan Zhan says, very seriously. “I am hoping to find an instructor, to better prepare myself for such matters."

Wei Ying feels his mouth drop open. He's pretty sure the Second Jade of Lan just told him he's a virgin who wants to learn how to do sex good.

Rogue Cultivator Wei Wuxian is the stuff of local legends. Some of those legends are even true! The ones about his tremendous experience in bed, on the other hand, are not so true. Which becomes a problem when Lan Wangji, on the verge of an arranged marriage and worried he won’t know how to please his future spouse, enlists Wei Ying's help to teach him the art of love-making. Wei Ying's great at improvisation, though, and is pretty sure he's got this sex mentor thing under control. What could possibly go wrong

other aus

of god: my love unholy by tunnelodfawn (3K, tw blood / war, dark!lwj, god!wwx, kind of poetry)

Lan Zhan takes everything as a sign from his god. The blood staining his fingertips—a holy anointment. He sanctifies himself through blood. The strings of his guqin gleam red in the sun—a divine blessing. This is an instrument of destruction. A single note—a cry of power—and in this note the voice of his god unravels the earthly threads tethering man to earth.

The Yiling Patriarch blesses Lan Zhan with war. Wei Wuxian blesses Lan Zhan with agility. Wei Ying blesses Lan Zhan with love.

The base of the Yiling Patriarch’s shrine is the home of Lan Zhan’s knees. He worships. There is something of the blasphemous and the unholy in his prayers. He prays not for victory but for the sight of Wei Ying. Bless me with your presence, he begs.

Or, wherein, Lan Zhan bridges the gap between the mortal and the divine—the worshipper and the god—with blood.

the river and the sea by sasamelons / @sasamelons (7K, soulmate au, arranged marriage (wangxian with each other), they're both kind of dumb but i love it)

Lan Wangji gritted his teeth, wishing to just be left alone. "I am looking for my soulmate," he ground out.

"Oh."

It took Lan Wangji a few moments to realize that Wei Wuxian had stopped following him. When he looked back, the other boy seemed to be frozen to the spot, eyes wide and lips still parted. He quickly looked away when he saw Lan Wangji looking back. "I see. Well, have a good trip!"

At six years old, Lan Zhan met his soulmate on the streets of Yiling and promptly lost him again.

At sixteen years old, Lan Wangji met his betrothed and was determined not to like him.

#so...i realized i forgot to check the things i already listed but? i tried to avoid listing fics twice?#yes i've mostly been reading oneshots these past few weeks idk why but i can't seem to find any long fics #or at least not ones that i like #wei wuxian #lan wangji #wangxian #wangxian fics #mdzs #mdzs fic #cql fic #the untamed #aamna tag #we're almost through the rec list now? i have so much open but idk why i add so few #i'm just really picky when it comes to which ones to write down and which ones not #and then this became a kind of comfort list?#idk?#but also ANGST #not Angst but ANGST #fun fact: Angst means fear in german

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thewritingstar · 4 years ago

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Beautiful Revelations

Pairing: Gruvia (I know its been a hot ass min)

Fandom: Fairy Tail

tags: @shellielyzabeth @be-dazzled @nostalgicxslumber @unvalley @tigerfire54

Note: It has happened. I have written 200 fanfics and idk if I should be proud or slightly scared. (feel free to skip this omg why is it so long)

I want to say thank you to everyone who has read, liked, reblogged or interacted with me in any way. I have always had a feeling that no matter what I write, I wouldn’t matter. But every comment and sweet note left made me realize that even if its just a smile or enough to make someone hit the like button, I made a small difference or added something to the fandom. Most of my fics are quick drabbles full of spelling mistakes, random thoughts and love for the characters. I know I don’t write very long stories or finish my wips (why are we surprised) but even though Im not someone people look to as a big author, each of you have made me feel special. There have been many times, this year especially that I had decided to give up writing. “Im not good enough and no one will even notice” Thats what I told myself if I decided to just back away. But every so often I would look and see that someone new or old had read my work. Every time someone reads something I wrote, I go back and read it too. I look at all the tags and see every comment and I stop and smile and remember how much joy it brought me when I first posted.

When I first started writing, I thought that I wouldn’t have a place. Yet in a very short span of time, I was welcomed with open arms and people started to tune in regularly for my fics. I had been given many nicknames such as Gruvia goddess, angst queen, satan (yes I know the fic0 and well even Star.

During my darkest moments, my mind lingered to my writing and to my internet friends. without hesitation I could message someone and feel better and be given the reassure I need. I can't even begin to say how much it means to me that people actually enjoy my writing and even me as a person.

I thank each of you for giving me a joy that was considered a luxury at one point and allowing me to write whatever I wanted and you took it with love and made me happier than I have been in years. To all the people who made art or wrote me something, it means so much to me.

Im not saying that this fic is my greatest but I think it has a special place because It shows the growth over time. 200 fics is a lot and whether or not they were all good, it doesn't matter because I did that and I can say that im proud. Im sorry for all that sappy shit but I wouldn't be where I am without you all.

-Star <3

ps: im not dying or stop writing fics im just happy lol

---

“There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment.”

― Sarah Dessen, The Truth About Forever

---

It was the nights like these that she hated most. The cold would creep through the blankets and make her shiver as her eyelids hung heavy. She could be ready to rest, let the sweet dreams guide her but instead those dark intrusive thoughts toyed with her like a fly on a freshly woven web. They would sprout out of nowhere, tangled with thorns and hold her mind hostage as it injected its sickly venomized thoughts for the night.

She always wondered how she got this far. She was one of the highest members of Phantom Lord, her abilities had rarely been matched. If she desperately craved, she could walk down the hallways and strike fear into the other members, no one could touch her. Hierarchies became a custom here. Once you made it to the top after clawing your way with blood, sweat and probably more blood, you were a god. Yet she walked in and in the next few minutes she was at the table with the master, already receiving a promise that she was special, a delicate and useful ally for the guild.

Special. What a swollen lie that turned out to be.

Maybe that's why she never bothered to search for a light, something to cure the rain. For every life she had bruised or ended, she wanted to feel the pain that followed. She needed to know the consequence of her actions, to be held accountable for ruining another family or taking something from the innocent. Instead she was celebrated.

The days turned to months and she found herself years later not knowing what anything meant anymore. Life used to be black and white. She would walk the side of the kind and good and now she was treading through a swarm of a morally gray compound.

These restless nights, she loathed them but then again, suffering was something that came naturally to her. The only person to ever knock her down was herself.

She climbed out of bed, fuzzy slippers over her feet as she walked to the bathroom. Her headache had worsened and she stared into the mirror. She had looked at herself a thousand times but… have her eyes always been that blue? No, she was tired and her vision was fuzzy, she was fine. Cold water came to her hands as she turned on the facet and splashed her face. Everything was the same as it always was. Expect for today.

Her order was simple. Defeat whoever stood in her way and make sure the Phantom Lord got Lucy Heratfilia. Why did they want some mage? She didn’t know but she was never one to second guess her orders. To go against what she was told was a waste of time, she would have been dead by the end of the day if she did. She had once believed that they accepted her with open arms, that Phantom Lord truly cared about her well being. It was a lie. A bitter sweet lie she allowed to remain in her head.

Hundreds of opponents had come before her. She was accustomed to the way of a battle and had harnessed her skill at a young age. The pure power of the rain pushed her further. She had an unlimited amount of power around her, unlike others, they would run out of fuel. She began to crave that god-like power. Allow the storm to rage on, all she had was herself and the droplets that followed. She understood she was an outcast. Love was never an option, not for someone who brought gloom everywhere.

But this afternoon, fate was a funny thing. She walked onto that rooftop, winning was the only thing on her mind, but he was there. A man who didn’t back down, a man who saw her as an equal.

Her heart began to race. It was forgien and she wasn’t sure if she liked it. She had felt attraction before but this, this was different. Something as small as a single glance had already spun her mind into a muddled mess. It would have been better if she turned around, if he didn’t engage in the fight. Then maybe she wouldn’t be thinking of him like this.

Love at first sight. That wasn’t real. No one could possibly have that happen. What could drive someone's emotion so wild that they become attached to a person in such a short time? And yet it happened. He stood there waiting for the next move and she could only gaze at him with rose colored glasses.

An enemy. A traitor. That's what she would be if she dared to let him escape. She couldn’t hestatite, she never did and now she was frozen in her spot as ice magic danced around her. Peoples magic and abilities never intrigued her, but this, this was beyond anything she had seen.

The light reflecting off of the ice as her droplets froze before her eyes was breathtaking and she hardly noticed that she was losing the battle. She never thought rain could look, dare she say, beautiful? But in this state of its frozen glory, it was all she could think about. She envied those who never had to stay in the rain, a jealousy she didn’t want to admit had festered over the years and she gave up trying to despise the element. But before her was something much more than the state she was accustomed to. Ice. The solid purity of her own and she had wondered what it would be like to hold it in her hands.

She had water locked him, pulled out all of the stops and even with that, he stood again and again. He had screamed that the water was boiling, burning his skin but never before had the water gone above warm. It was usually ice cold on the tipping point of freezing but she could feel the warmth surrounding her.

It shocked her just the same. She had heard people talk about feeling the sun kiss their skin, the warmth spreading as they walked, this was the closest she had felt to that. This warm rush of water was beyond what she had known and yet even as it tinged her hands it felt good, it felt freeing, it felt right.

It burned in a way she had craved for so long. Something other than the fridgeness she had grown used too.

She stared at her reflection in her mirror, tears brimming her eyes. How could one person she just met bring her something she had never felt before? She shut the light out in the bathroom and walked back to her bed, passing her window, she stopped and turned.

Above in the sky was the moon. A soft white glow surrounded the orb that she had never seen before. It was breathtaking. A cosmic power the normal people of the world didn’t dare to worship now became a luxury. The sky was clear and she could see the stars, she could sense them all. How could she have lived her entire life never once seeing the moon and the sun? She had been cursed to live in the rain forever.

But he-he made it stop.

When he grabbed her arm, it was like time had stopped. As if everything she had ever known was washed away and all she could see was a bright light encasing him. She was content knowing her death was coming, there was hardly a reason for her to live. Perhaps she wasn't even living, just surviving day after gloomy day.

He pulled her to safety, her back against the roof as she panted heavily. Those clouds above her moved like a curtain for a show, parting just so that she could see the enchanting mystery she had always craved.

She had never known a blue sky till then. The brightness was almost unbearable as she stared into a sky she had never known. So many emotions flooded her head but it was clear as those ice crystals that her heart was beating for him. She was his enemy, they made that clear from the start but he hadn’t hesitated to save her. He showed a mercy she had never come across.

Another tear fell as she sat on her bed.

“He saved Juvia.” She whispered to herself. A horrific thought came to her. Would she have saved him? She didn’t want to know the outcome because deep down she believed she was good. Beneath the surface of unremosle power, there was that scared little girl who never had anyone to care for her.

The amount of days she sat in that orphanage alone sewing her dolls and praying that the rain stopped one way or another, it was as if she couldn’t remember it. He had done the impossible. He showed her the sky she hadn’t seen. He had shown her kindness.

A thought came to mind as she stood and packed her things. No more would she be known as “the rain woman”. No more would gloom be her only trait. She was determined to find something much more appealing than those bowing by fear. She wanted love. She wanted that warmth of the water constantly and the feeling of the sun on her skin. She understood it now. There was a power strong than her, stronger than any wizard that surrounded the other guild.

She had vowed to be done with love. Promised herself that no man could hurt her again. She was trembling at the thought of being vulnerable once more. The only time she felt warmth was the scorching burn of a fiery rejection and words that burned like lava. It was too much for someone to handle. So she pushed it down, locked the key and threw it as far as she could. The temptation though. The idea of letting her guard down for someone, someone she barely knew? How she fantasized of that moment. She had once believed that someone of her past had done that, but they were all the same. Ashamed of the rain, the rain she caused, the pain she brought.

And after their fight when she collected herself and tried to run back towards her guild, he stopped her.

“For what it's worth I think you’re an incredible wizard. You may not want to believe that your guild is dark and bad but, Fairy Tail is always open.” He had said it with such sincerity that she wasn’t sure if it were true.

“Juvia thinks your magic is just as powerful.” She had said before he gave her a smile and turned away to go back to his other guild mates.

And here she stood, a suitcases packed in the night and a note left on the desk. This guild didn’t deserve any words. Not when they feasted on her ability. Harvested those negative emotions and almost made her fall into the deep end.

She knew what they would say. They would call her a coward. A traitor and a worthless wizard, at first it was enough to stop her. Make her stay and perhaps bring back the clouds. However what he said stuck in her mind.

“I would rather die fighting than let your guild have Lucy! She is one of us and we don’t leave anyone behind.”

Without hesitation he made it clear that every member of the guild was valued no matter how long they had been there, they were a family. If something like that would have happened, if she were threatened, her guild would let her die without a second thought.

Never again would she allow someone to have a hold over her. She spent too many years sheltered by pain and deviation to go on like that.

She grabbed her bag and closed her door.

Juvia stood in front of the door. The morning would be better to do this but it was beyond dark outside and she didn’t want her intrusive thoughts pulling her back to her old guild. Softly she knocked, maybe hoping that he wouldn’t hear it and force her back to the isolation of fear.

The open clicked open and her eyes widened slightly as a sleepy Gray leaned against the door frame, shirtless and rubbing his eyes.

“Juvia?” He blinked and watched as her cheek puffed out in red. He looked down to see that he was only in his underwear and let out a yelp as he grabbed a blanket off the chair. “What are you doing here?”

“Um Juvia thought.” She paused and looked towards the ground. “Actually Juvia apologies for disturbing you.” Her back was to him and she began to walk away.

“Wait!” His hand caught hers and he pulled slightly. A jolt of warmth spread through her, burning her like a thousand suns as well as the chill of ice from his own temperature. She looked back at him, eyes wide and lips parted. “Juvia, please just tell me.”

“Such kindness.” She whispered to herself. Her heart rate sped up just like it did earlier and she swallowed a breath. “Juvia was wondering…why did you save her?”

His hand dropped her as if he were shocked that she would dare question his action.

“I wasn’t going to let you die. Enemies or not, I don’t think you deserved that fate. I don’t believe that you are this evil person your guild made you out to be. To be honest when you fell, you look like you didn’t care what happened and I guess I saw myself in you.”

“You saved Juvia because you know what it's like?”

“To feel lost and hopeless I guess.” He scratched the back of his neck nervously. “Sometimes it's hard thinking you deserve to live, that it would be better to harbor all the pain of your past. I don’t know everything about you but that look in your eyes. I couldn’t let you go knowing that there was a brighter future ahead.”

A tear dripped from her eye. Her smile was soft as hugged her arms to her body. “You knew Juvia would join the guild.”

“Well I wouldn’t say I knew, but I was hoping that you would. If you still want to, that is.”

“Juvia would be honored.” She bowed respectfully towards him.

Gray smiled and bowed back. His eyes faced the sky looking towards the moon. “Have you ever seen it?”

“Tonight would be the first. Juvia thinks the stars are remarkable.”

“Lucy knows alot about them, I think you two would be good friends.”

Juvia shook her head as regret twisted in her stomach. “Juvia accepts your kindness and compassion but she doesn’t know if the rest will. Juvia was her rival, she understands if everyone doesn’t see her as a friend.” She frowned slightly.

A laugh came from the ice mage's mouth. “That's the thing about Fairy Tail, no matter where you come from or what your past may have held, there's always going to be a friend waiting.”

Juvia nodded. “Thank you Gray. Juvia will talk to your guild master tomorrow.”

“Like I said before. You’re an incredible wizard, you’ll be just fine.” He winked.

“Have a nice night.”

“You too.”

She watched as he entered his house before turning around and walking towards her hotel. Her shoulders felt lighter and she held her head high for the first time. This was her step in the right direction, this was where her new life began.

Time had slowed and allowed her to pause. A beautiful revelation she never knew could exist came to mind as she just realized that she was in love.

---

She looked down at her leg in the mirror. The voices behind her had faded to the background as she became entranced with the mark of Fairy Tail.

“The blue suits you.” She turned to see Gray standing there with a smile as he was focused on her guild mark.

To say that she was grateful was an understatement. Her mask she wore like a crown had shattered. It unravels in his hands as the months went on and all that was left was the person she wanted to be. She could finally let go of her ghosts, her darkness and begin to forgive herself.

---

“What do you think?” He asked her as the white sky fell with snow.

Gray had told her of a special spot he used to go to when the first snow came. Past the forest was a clearing of grassy hills that would soon become a winter wonderland. Laid out on one of the hills was a blanket and a few lanterns.

She held her hand out and felt the tiny snowflakes collect on her hand. He sat behind her, one arm snaked around her waist while the other hand rose above hers and created a small flurry of snowflakes.

“Breathtaking.” She gushed. This was the first time she had seen snow fall. Her eyes followed the ice magic as it formed a heart and blew into the sky joining the other flurries. She turned so she could meet his eyes and his normal content face was replaced with a smile.

He leaned forward until their noses touched briefly. “Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?” He said and she only had a moment to process his words as his lips landed on hers and her eyes fluttered close.

Her hand went to his cheek as she leaned towards him, her energy matching his and all she could hear was the thumping of her heart. She would be embarrassed to say that she might have dreamt of this moment a little too much but it didn’t matter now. All she knew was that her beloved felt the same.

---

For once she was happy to hear a cry. That little whimper bubbling from the baby's mouth, her baby, she was in disbelief. Perfection was a rarity. No one was perfect, but the being with a tuft of dark blue hair and grey eyes would beg to differ. A child was never in her future. The thought came up randomly but the idea of raising a family wasn’t even a question.

During her missions in her old guild, she would walk past a family. She would see happy faces on everyone and would only be filled with envy and hatred. Disgusting was what it was. How could you love someone else when there was no love for you?

But times change. She would see others holding their child's hand and feel a warmth in her heart at how the children beamed up at their parents. She could sense the love all around them and would smile herself, hoping that it might become a reality for herself.

She would wake in the middle of the night, not from her demons but for her new reason to live. He would babble and tug at the locks of her hair and giggle when water magic danced before his young eyes.

---

It was nights like these that loved the most. The soft rays of moonlight casting shadows through her window as silk sheets wrapped around her bare form. She used to spend nights alone, only her pillow to catch her tears and now delicate fingers trail her backside as she listens to the thumping of his heart. His chest rises and falls as her own follows the rhythm. Her eyes flutter close as her tiredness grows untils it's interrupted by a cool press of lips under her ear.

A peaceful sigh leaves her lips as she tilts her head up to meet dark eyes gazing at her. Flushed cheeks was something she wore often and she lifted off of him to move further up and meet his lips with hers. He pulls her back to him, hating the emptiness between them and adores the way she shivers when his thumb traces her guild mark.

Their love was honest and raw. She had learned that nights like those in the past would haunt him as well. They would keep him up and plague his thoughts with images of death and destruction. But now, they lingered in the shadows, always there but something brighter and beautiful guarded them to peace and she focused on the way he breathed her name then the tears that dropped.

There was an overwhelming amount of happiness that she had gathered after all the years she spent in Fairy Tail. She found friendship and family bonds. Love in all forms that she cherished deeply. Her powers were seen as a gift to help others and lend a hand, not twisted into medled lies that she had spent so long untangling.

Her lips pulled from his slowly and their breaths settled between them. When she looked at Gray she found something more. She had freedom and rebirth. Forgiveness and lust wrapped into something more than love. Their bond was stronger than she could have ever dreamed and when he left kisses over her skin she wanted nothing more in life than to stay frozen in this moment.

He did the impossible. He opened a door, shined a light through her darkness and allowed her to accept the fact that she did deserve to live. She could cherish moments and keep them as her own without the threat of corruption. Her life was now her own to command and she did it with such grace and beauty that Gray couldn’t imagine her being any different.

“I love you.” He promised and there was no doubt in her mind that he meant it.

“I love you too.” She responded.

The beautiful truth was that she was finally at peace and loved herself.

---

I hope that you all enjoyed and thank you for being so lovely <3

#Gruvia #Gruvia fic #gray x Juvia #Juvia x Gray #Juvia ft #gray fullbuster #juvia loxar #fairy tail #fairy tail fic #thewritingstar

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meadow-roses · 3 years ago

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aske time :) for the writing asks: A1, A2, A10, A12, A14, your choice of anything in B, C8 ( :^) ), C11, D6

A1: Introduce the characters from one of your current WIPs in one or two sentences each.

Okay let's gooo,,, I'll do The Keepers cause I haven't talked about that one as much. These aren't gonna be the best descriptions but whatever

Ketsler: Quirky, fun-loving, everyone's weird grandpa, but also the most powerful person to have ever lived. He's old- so very, very old- and he's seen so much over all the centuries he has been protecting the worlds from Chaos, but he still makes an effort to slow down and appreciate the little things around him, because he knows better than most how fleeting life is.

Skylar: Skylar is from a world where faerie circles are real and witches turn people into frogs and trolls live in great, big castles and are slain by talking cats, a world where there's too much adventure to stay in one place, too many people to meet, and too many monsters to slay to stop running. He may be only a human (ooo mystery!!) but he is proficient in Wind magic and carries around a good bit of rune stones he and his pet dragon have found along his adventures.

Felix: Felix is just a normal human from a small town after the earth becomes united under one world power. He wasn't born with superpowers like most soldiers are, but he was still skilled enough to join a special force working behind enemy lines when the rebellion made its move to free the planet from the tyranny that built this dystopian reality.

Betty: A very sweet young lady, she's from a planet that was colonized by humans centuries ago. She may seem naive, but Betty can read anyone like a book and uses her gift to help those who are lost find themselves again.

There's more characters but I'll just stick with those main ones cause I really struggle with descriptions xD

A2: Who's your favorite character to write and why?

Probably Joden? I haven't written most of my characters, but I looove writing his dialogue. He also makes me think so I can keep him clever lol

A10: What’s your character development process like? (As in how you develop them, not necessarily their development in-story)

I roleplay them! The more developed they are, the more I've acted as them. It really gets me inside their head to try and think like how they think, and that results in me being more equipped to "discover" why they are like that.

A12: What kind of internal conflict does your character go through (want versus need, personality complexes or strong personality flaws/”fatal flaw” kinda thing)? How does this affect them?

It really varies depending on the character? For example Joden has this need to always have a plan, always be in control, and a breaking moment for him comes in when he finally just,,, doesn't know what to do. He's in over his head and the only thing he can do is trust Jacer to do what he can- knowing Jacer doesn't have things under control.

So that's an example of a flaw that the character gets to overcome, but there also characters whose flaws are part of who they are. Skylar wouldn't be Skylar if he weren't stubborn. Ketsler wouldn't be Ketsler if he weren't arrogant. They never grow out of these flaws, they just learn to control them. Or I guess not be controlled by the flaw.

This is actually something I think I struggle with for my characters, giving them those visable flaws. I see other people's characters that start out "bad" and grow into heroes, but it kinda seems like all my characters start out as heroes. 😅 I mean, they have flaws, but in comparison to other people's characters they feel really bland in that aspect. Idk

A14: Ramble about your characters. Anything special you like about them? Random little details you’ve added that you enjoy?

Uh,,, I don't even know where to start I just love all of them for so many various reasons. Joden is just a clever little genius but he still can be so naive. He just has simple pleasures and it's not hard to make him laugh or smile and practically impossible to discourage him. He starts off just,,, wanting his old life back and then he sees what the world is like outside his little bubble and the bubble pops. He sees the atrocities for what they are and to be able to settle down again, he has to fix it. He can't just smile and do as he's told, he can't let the bad guys win. It I just his mother and wife and son he's fighting for, it's the entire wood and the idea of being actually, truly, free.

Jacer is so savvy, he knows what to do and what to say to get into and out of any situation, but at the same time he's just clueless when it comes to genuine connection. He's a princeling who's really never had a friend and now he's saving the world with Joden who only knows how to make genuine connections. Why does he have to keep hugging me??

And Twylla who's ready to fight anything so she can get her clever idiot husband back?

Adric who's just doing his best to be a good leader but everything keeps going wrong. He wasn't born to be a king, he wasn't born to lead an army, he always had his big brother to help him do these things and he's gone- he's gone and he's not coming back he messed up again so bad and yet here he is with everyone looking to him for answers and he doesn't know what to tell them. But he's got his friends, and he's got a good heart, and he genuinely cares and they're going to figure it out.

Skylar just keeps running forward and he never looks back at the past he just jumps from one adventure to another stopping the monsters and saving the day. He's got Gigi what more does he need?

Felix is just,,, he's just such a nice guy. Over and over he stepped into the gap because someone's gotta fly that fighter, someone's got to fire that gun, someone's got to stabilize the bomb, someone's going to lose their life to ensure the victory, why shouldn't it be him? But he never actually dies, somehow he always survives and lives to fight the next day, and the next day and the next day, and then they win the war- the world is free. And even though he's been through so much he still hasn't lost that kindness, that love for all life that makes him himself. He still falls in love and starts a family and has his own beloved children… and even when he loses them he still doesn't become cynical. He still stands in the gap and is the one to fire the gun, to hold the hand of the one who's mourning, to scoop up the orphan child and carry them home. He fights, so others don't have to. Father to the fatherless and hero for all. Also he puts up with Skylar's time traveling craziness lol

And Ketsler? Unlike everyone else he never chose to be a hero. What are you supposed to do when you're a four year old boy and everyone tells you you're the hero they've been waiting for, praying for, you have to save them. It wasn't at all his choice to be born with the power of the universe running through his veins. To hold the Inness in his hands and bend reality to his will. But he didn't run away. He never hid from his destiny. He took the world onto his shoulders and never set it down. Only once- and he's never going to do it again. Never going to ask someone to fill in his role for him, it is his burden to bear… Except not anymore. Despite being multi-millenniums old, all that time didn't dull his appreciation for the little things. A baby's smile, sunshine through the leaves, the change of the seasons. The union of two souls in marriage, or the colors of the sunset streaking a foreign sky. He still sees these things, loves these things, fights for these things. Cause it's the little things he's fighting for, not just the big things. The precious moments and precious lives that make up the worlds. One of his apprentices asked him once, he'd been fighting for so long, when was it going to end? It's not his job to strike the final blow, to end the suffering and bloodshed, just to help. He saves the world, so that he can save it again.

I have… several more characters I'd love to ramble about but that answer's gotten pretty long so I'll cut it off there. XD

B3: Do you have any plot twists? No need to describe them, just think about what kind of reaction you want from your readers.

Oh I was just talking to August about this the other day. XD There is one plot twist in the Keeper's story I'm reeaaally looking forward to hehe I want to make people confused and then really mad when the whole thing is stretched out. >:)

C8: Does magic exist in your world? Who can use it? How does it work?

It really depends on which WIP, but in general I like to keep magic restricted with rules. Joden's story and the Keeper's story are in the same universe (along with ThRoG) and follows that magic system. It's too complicated to go in depth here, but "magic" exists in another plane of existence, and things in the material world have varying levels of connection with it. It's kinda the energy that holds all worlds together and sustains life. The magic realm- the Inness is not a place where physical matter should exist, only spirits can walk there.

Wizards are creatures that stand with one foot in the physical realm and the other in the Inness. Tevlar is destroying the world basically by turning it inside out- pulling the Inness out.

C11: Have you developed historical figures? How do you develop them? How in-depth do you go?

Oh yes. I am a complete history nerd so if any world EXISTS it has history, and history only happens because people.

Sometimes it's a thought through process of "somebody needs to go here" and sometimes it's an npc from a time travel rp that took on more importance than I originally intended.

It really varies how in depth it will go? Sometimes it's just a name to fill a spot and other times it's like, man I could write a whole book about this guy!

One historical figure would be Ares of the Pegasus. He was a powerful warrior that won a bunch of wars and united the different pegasus clans under his leadership and became the first king. He's really famous and people like naming their kids after him in a kinda superstitious hope they'll grow into attributes of his character. Ares is the male form of the name, Aris is for girls. It's like, the most common Pegasian name. XD

D6: Are there any writing styles that inspire you?

Probably the first writing style I wanted to emulate was Tolkien's, but I also really liked Andrew Peterson's? Tolkien is so dramatic, and Peterson isn't heavy on location descriptions, so I'm kinda aiming for in between I guess.

#thanks for the ask!!#sorry that took so long to answer 😅#reblog #text #writing #keepers #deepwood #shifters #ask

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gas-station-trackphone · 4 years ago

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Fic Recs/Mandatory Reading for Reddie fans

Here is an incomplete list of some of my favorite Reddie fics on ao3, because i cannot get over the sheer talent of this fandom’s wonderful writers! A lot of these are the Greatest Hits that you’ll find on almost every fic list, but that’s why I consider them mandatory reading. like if you haven’t read some of these, what are you doing?

the years go by like days by georgiestauffenberg, rated M

the 27 years in between, but better because richie and eddie stay together. every time i think of this fic, i think of that lady gaga meme where she’s like “brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, etc” and maybe it’s bc this is one of the first reddie fics i ever read, but this one is always gonna be my favorite

broken record by spunknbite, rated E

the mother of all time loop fics. every reddie veteran gets chills at the phrase “the house on Neibolt was still standing”

literally everything by stitchy

like seriously just clear a few days bc you’re not gonna want to stop reading this author once you start. no other author has made me literally fucking cackle in one paragraph and sob in the next like this one, pls do yourself a favor and devour all their works like i did

the night we met (take me back) by camerasparring, rated E

ch2 fix-it where eddie shows up at richie’s door alive and with no memory. great slow burn with a wonderfully conflicted richie, 10/10

let’s hear it for my baby! series by cloudings, rated E

OOOOOOOHHH boy! a modern teen!reddie grindr AU that’s both steamy AND sweet?? more like a fucking blessing amen hallelujah

a heart that laughter has made sweet by marjaani, rated E

another lovely teen!reddie fic that’s got it all! sweet, stupid boys, humor, a teeny bit of angst, and some 5-alarm fire smut with some top eddie, as a treat

keep talking. i’ll keep walking toward the sound of your voice. by theappleppielifestyle, rated T

angst with a happy ending is my favorite, and this one is just fantastic. so sweet, so sad! and stan is featured as eddie’s afterlife buddy and idk about y’all but i cannot get enough of stanley uris in my reddie fics. read this, then read all this author’s reddie fics, they’re all amazing

collateral by loosecannon, sheepknitssweater, rated E

a post-ch2 fic that i guess could be classified as fix-it, BUT with some very interesting twists. they beat the clown, everyone lives, but no one really gets the tropey happy ending. the WIP sequel is also incredible and i live for the updates.

the greater fool series by mischiefmanager, mostly rated T with some E

this is a series i’ll reread a lot bc it’s so fucking good. follows young reddie into early adulthood, mostly a bunch of cute shit where they figure out themselves and their relationship. also contains the single best teen reddie fic in existence, he came in through the window, but reading the whole series is a must

brokeback derry and everything else by Amuly, rated E

27 years in between, richie and eddie reconnect in their 20s and meet back up in derry twice a year to remember and love each other before going back to their lives and forgetting. so much pain. there’s a lot of sweet stuff in there, but you can see shit’s gonna get complicated from miles away and the anticipation almost gave me stomach ulcers (in a good way). ultimate angst with a happy ending.

let me name the stars for you by playedwright, rated M

speaking of angst with a happy ending...Martian AU!!!!! this one fucked me up in the best way, i literally called my roommate at 2am to vent to her about my emotions after reading it. i go back and reread chapter 8 just to be overwhelmed by it, and it makes me cry every time. plus, there are awesome sequels/companion pieces in the series! read this, i beg you!

walk through fire for you by hyruling, rated T

unwind after all that angst with some cute, drunk, confused eddie being very upset when he finds out richie is engaged. richie only teases him a little before pointing out the matching ring on eddie’s finger.

in the heat of the summer (you're so different from the rest) by kaboomslang, rated E

post-ch2 slow burn with tags that really say it all, including but not limited to: eddie moves to california and richie is a mess, Eddie Kaspbrak’s Hot Girl Summer, and cute middle aged man dates

pivotal moments by danfanciesphil, polypocket, rated E

high school reddie has a sort of fwb thing goin on, but emotions get in the way. featuring wonderful bevchie friendship, hella miscommunication, cute double dates, high eddie, and a happy ending

like a bullet in the back by jerry_duty, rated M

adult idiots in love! a personal favorite trope of mine! slow burn with a fair helping of angst but a really great ending. richie stays with eddie in new york while he’s there on business, and it takes these losers SO LONG to figure it out but the way they dance around it is very cute

no sense of living without aim [WIP] by liesmyth, rated E

richie and eddie meet on grindr in the 27 years between and hey, whadda ya know, they fall in love! i really love this fic but i’m pretty sure it’s been abandoned. i’ve had it open on my phone browser for like 3 months with no update but i still check it regularly bc i’m pathetic and this fic is just so good i’m DYING to know what happens next so read at ur own risk

a strange sense of familiarity [WIP] by Katranga, rated E

another “they meet and fall in love without remembering” fic, and even though it’s not complete yet, it gets regular updates. oh, also, i’m obsessed with it. they’re long distance fuck buddies who can’t admit they’re in love, and then they get hit with the childhood memories! and everyone lives! what’s not to love! also PLEASE read kisses take like mint and every other reddie work by this author, they are all fantastic

adult friends by sudowoodo, rated T

AU where adult reddie meet at a first aid seminar for work (immediately fall in love), become friends, become best friends, and finally get to be happy. has some super repressed eddie and intensely pining richie, which is always fun, and genuinely made me laugh out loud. also please check out this author’s other reddie fics, there’s some super sweet kid reddie in there that really warms the heart

the mind's a funny fruit by joldiego, rated T

eddie wakes up barely alive in derry, has 0 memory, calls himself richie, and moves in with some lesbians. an absolute must read that ought to be on every reddie fic rec compilation. i read this a long time ago and just thinking about it makes me want to read it again.

now what i'm gonna say may sound indelicate [WIP] by IfItHollers, rated E

it took me entirely too long to find this fic since i joined the fandom, and it’s truly a fucking masterpiece. it’s almost at 200k now and still unfinished, and the slow burn is excruciating, but this is a legendary fic for a reason. eddie spends the first chunk of this fic in the hospital recovering from the massive chest wound, and then he and richie move the recovery to ben’s cabin in the woods. the author’s notes for each chapter are a story in themselves

signs of a new lifetime by swordfishtrombones, rated T

one of the sweetest, most romantic reddie fics i’ve ever read. a fresh take on a classic concept: post-ch2, they’re in love, they haven’t said/done anything about it yet, BUT!!! it’s not angsty! they are all cute and giggly like “you say it first!” “no, you say it first!” and it makes me fucking MELT

broadcasting tower by swordfishtrombones, rated E

back-to-back recs from the same author! bc i love these fics so much! sort of similar to the last one in that they both know what’s up and just haven’t said it, but this one’s got the angst! i didn’t know when i read it that it was the same author as the other fic, and i thought how funny, i found another reddie author that perfectly captures this pair in such a wonderfully romantic way! i also just noticed there’s a follow up to this so now i have to go read that immediately

eurydice; the original comeback kid by Vulcanodon, rated M

for the love of god please read this and the other work in this series. it’s a ch-2 fix-it with some intense action sequences and major pining, and it has haunted me since i first read it

love on the telephone by tempestbreak, rated E

okay this one is really just 30k of pure smut but it’s also so sweet and features a mini sexual awakening for eddie and some insecure richie with an emphasis on how much they love and trust each other. also it doesn’t hurt that the smut is fire, like does anyone else want that twink obliterated, or is it just me?

the boy who loves you by candlejill, rated E

eddie lives, richie confesses, things are chill and then they’re not. richie’s career flourishes, which is always nice to read and is what ultimately catalyzes eddie’s gay awakening and realization of his love for richie. it’s got some sad angsty parts and a very sweet ending, and it up there as one of my favorite reddie fics of all time

richie and eddie break up [WIP] by skeilig, rated M

a refreshing and realistic take on life ch-2 for the losers, because being in love at thirteen doesn’t mean you can fall into a perfect relationship at 40. i’ll admit, i’m hoping this will ultimately be a “richie and eddie get back together” fic, but it’s still a very good read (and often very funny in the second chapter) at the moment in the midst of their break up

september 1989 and everything else by pineapplecrushface, rated T

cute kid reddie figuring it out and making me smile. the follow up to this and the after derry series by this author are also personal favorites

go west by ssstrychnine, rated T

road trip fic! an absolute work of art slow burn with teen reddie in the 90s. it’s so beautifully written i just wish i could go back and read it for the first time again

the edification of eddie kaspbrak by tozier, rated M

character study with some incredible fucking prose, my lord it gorgeous. explores how eddie learns about love as he grows up, and it’s super fucking sad sometimes bc the poor boy doesn’t know how to have the things he wants and i just want to give him a hug, but it’s really a spectacular fic

circular motion by sinchronicity, rated M

soulmate!AU that follows book canon and even though it’s been a long time since i’ve read it and the details are fuzzy, i remember absolutely loving it and thinking it was incredible

tell me you know by RichiesToesHurt, rated E

college losers with some severely pining and jealous richie with a lovely ending

predicament bondage [WIP] by dgalerab, rated E

i resisted reading this fic for so long, recently broke and binged all of it, and now i’m like frothing at the mouth for updates. richie’s a closeted actor/comedian who meets eddie, a professional Dom, when he needs help researching a role. they become friends, they develop crushes, richie realizes he’s a sub, and it’s just so much fun to read

there’s a lot more fics to rec so i might add on to this in the future, but in the meantime my biggest tip for for reading fanfiction that took me embarrassingly long to figure out: focus on the authors! if you read something you like, check out the rest of the work by that author bc odds are you’ll like that too. i mentioned it in a few specific works above, but check out the authors catalogues for these fics. if i included every work by these authors that i loved, this list would be miles long

feel free to add on any great stuff i missed, there’s sure to be tons of it!

#reddie #reddie fanfiction #fic rec #IT movie #it stephen king #losers club #these are mostly just my ao3 bookmarks #there's more in my ao3 if you want to check me out: lilypond3

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f0xfordcomma · 3 years ago

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Hello!! Happy FFWF!! Is there anything in particular that you find hard to write? Are there any WIPs that you've just absolutely given up on cause you think it'll go nowhere?? (would you share a bit of it? :D)

Croisty! Happy ffw tuesday (which tbh is earlier than I thought I'd be able to do these, so be proud of me lol)

I wish I had more to go off of in my writing portfolio to answer this question, but I think the thing I have the hardest time writing/ have avoided writing in my wips is just unfettered angst or like horror/ violence. Like character death? Gore? Fight scenes? (ooooh baby I SUCK at fight scenes) all of /that/ is just not really my forte as a writer. Don't get me wrong, I am not opposed to hurting my characters, but hurt/comfort is more where its at for me. You've read my stuff, so you know how emotionally driven a lot of my writing is. I think I would have a hard time writing more graphic/ heartbreaking/ violent *stuff* in my style. Idk, it would probably be a good thing for me to practice.... but.... I don't wanna (hands on hips) sooooo I'm not planning to really do anything quite like that anytime soon.

As far as abandoned wips go, I've got plentyyyy (or just verrrrrrry dusty wips that are not quite abandoned but are sitting very patiently on the shelf waiting for me to have the time to get back to them) Violent/ angsty/ deathy/ fighty abandoned wips though? Not so much.

But for you, mon petit croissant, have a bit of a miraculous ladybug reveal fic that I wrote one night after having a little ~ouid~ and convincing my husband to put on a sheet face mask with me that I now have no intention of finishing (oops, rip me).

okaaaaayyy so this is actually pretty dang long lol but I'm going to share the whole thing with you because I just re-read it for the first time in months and its pretty funny ~if you ask me~ so anyway... under the cut <3

NIGHT OFF

Okay, so maybe it wasn’t a totally crazy idea to take a night off.

Besides, Shadowmoth’s akumatizations had slowed down considerably in the past few months, and he rarely ever sent out two akumas in one day. The battle that she and Chat had fought that morning was brutal, but they’d come out victorious against HoneyBadger. Still, the fight had left her exhausted and wound up. Shadowmoth was planning something, she was sure of it. She just couldn’t, for the life of her, figure out what it was.

Ladybug was stressed.

Add to that, the fact that end-of-term exams were starting up next week and she’d not had nearly enough time during dead week to actually cram. Something about black butterflies and cranky kwamis and a cheeky cat (who, in recent weeks, had been considerably less cheeky.) Not to mention, she had been receiving an awful lot of memes, seemingly without preamble, from Paris’ favorite male model. Nino thought it was hilarious. Alya thought it was suspicious. Marinette thought it was confusing.

Marinette was stressed.

All of it was stressful.

Alya knew when her best friend was stressed. She could usually gauge the amount of Marinette’s exasperation by the frequency with which her bangs went flying from her face, propelled by a huff and a heavy sigh. Right now, Marinette’s bangs were a mess.

“Okay, girl. You need a night off.”

“What? No, I’m fine! Really! Plus, I can’t really afford to take a night off right now, Alya… I don’t know what Shadowmoth ha—”

“Yeah, no. I’m stopping you right there. For the next twenty-four hours, this space is a Ladybug-talk free zone,” she gestured vaguely around her bedroom, which was scattered with printouts and pictures that Marinette had brought over to work on nailing down Hawkmoth’s possible location using Alya’s beloved akuma-map. “I know, I know. It pains me more than it pains you, truly. But I’m doing this for you. Tonight: you, me, drinks, distractions. You are taking a night off.”

“But Alya! What if—”

“Hush, you know that’s incredibly unlikely. And, in the event of this IF you are so set on, you know that cat boy and I will have your back. Even drunk ladybugs can purify akumas when they have the clawed crusaders on their side.”

“I can’t believe you gave in to his silly nickname.”

“It is a badass nickname and you are just jealous that we bonded.”

“I’m not jealous. I’m annoyed.”

“Mhmm… keep telling yourself that, girl. Now, back to the matter at hand: what kind of drunk do you want to get tonight? Classy or trashy? I still have that peach stuff from last month, but if we are thinking classy I might need to call in the reserves to get us some decent wine.”

“You won’t need to call in anybody, Al, because I am definitely not getting drunk tonight.”

“Night off, Marinette. Drunkenness is a prerequisite.”

“Can’t we just watch movies or something? I really don’t know if that’s too good of an idea…”

“Girl, we watch movies every night. This is a night off. Don’t think I don’t see you stressing all throughout movie night every week, anyway. You need to take your mind off Ladybug,” she gestured at the mess that had consumed her bedroom. “And get your mind back on Marinette. Superhero or no, you’re still a teenage girl who is supposed to be enjoying the last few months of college.”

Marinette pouted.

“Stop pouting. You know you deserve to have normal girl fun.”

“But Alya I—”

“No buts.” An unnervingly devious look crossed Alya’s face. “Unless it is your butt in that pair of skinny jeans that you and I both know you-know-who loves. Boys will be here in twenty. Get to it, girl.”

Marinette just gaped at her. She didn’t even notice that Alya had grabbed her phone, but alas, there was the tell-tale ping.

Alya Cesaire → Akuma class OGs chat

Alya: anyone down for a little last minute get together—my door is open and my bar is stocked

Nino: HELL YEAH babe!

NL: got a new mix i’ve been meaning to show you… so entertainments on me fam!

Alix: This thing got an itinerary or just drunkenness for drunkenness sake?

Alya: the latter, natch.

Alix: Sick! Count me in.

Kim: same!

Rose: Do you need us to bring anything?

Alya: anything you feel like sharing

Alya: otherwise, just yourselves!

Alya: Agreste~you better bring us some of that expensive shit that i know your pops keeps somewhere in that castle of yours

Alya: no fancy wine, no admittance

Alya: the rest of you peasants just bring wtvr

Adrien: uhhhhhhhhhh

Adrien: ALYA

Adrien: dang it! You know I feel obligated to steal wine from my dad’s cellar now

Adrien: do you know how scary my dad is!!!??

Nino: DUDEEEE

Nino: DO IT you wont!

Adrien: shuddup Nino

Marinette: Adrien you totally don’t have to! Alya is just being **extra** Alya today

Alya: i plan a night off for this girl

Alya: and this is the thanks i get??????

Alya: can ya’ll believe this?

Alya: ridiculous

Zoe: UTTERLY RIDICULOUS

Adrien: utterly ridic

Adrien: dangit

Zoe: lol first! sorry adrien

Marinette: ugh ty I guess Als xxxxx

Alya: awe she DOES care, youre welcome babe!

Alya: so sunshine… about that wine?

Adrien: yeah yeah yeah

Adrien: use my people pleasing against me why dontcha

Alya: gladly <3

“Alya, stop bullying Adrien.”

“No way, girl. Giving that boy a task is the only way to ensure he shows up. Speaking of which… butt, jeans, go, now!”

The doorbell rang. Nino had perfected the quickest route to Alya’s house from every part of Paris years ago. Yes, he was whipped; and yes, he was proud of it.

“ALYA! I have to clean all of this up and I have to go home to get those jeans that you’re so dead set on and…”

“No you don’t. Kaalki?”

“Right here, Ms. Rouge.”

“YOU USED VOYAGE TO BRING ME JEANS?”

“No way girl! Don’t be silly. Kaalki and Roaar just volunteered to be my errand kwamis.”

“You guys do realize that I am the guardian, right?”

“Of course, that’s why we worked so hard to get everything that you need for tonight.”

“I—you… wait is this my good bra? How did you—”

“Us kwamis pay attention, Marinette.” Tikki cuddled up to her cheek.

“Et tu, Tikki?”

The ladybug kwami just giggled and made her way to the pile of papers scattered across Alya’s bed, starting to organize them back into neat stacks.

“Night. Off.” Alya punctuated each word with a shove and a smack on the bum, directing Marinette toward the bathroom and shutting her in to get ready while she got the door for Nino.

#foxford just casually drops an entire dang chapter of a fic for your ffwf enjoyment #oops #miraculous ladybug #foxford writes #ml #ml season four #aged up adrienette #ffwf #ffwtuesday #thanks for asking!!#<3 #foxford answers #thatcroissantgurl #a moment of silence for my wip graveyard #cw: mentions of drunkenness #(they are old enough in france okay)

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beck-a-leck · 3 years ago

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Fanfic Writer 20 Questions

Tagged by @thychesters Thanks Kate!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

56 on my main page, plus 5 others that are secret (aka Anonymous and don't show up in the count)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

772,412

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

~10, I have a lot of sub-fandoms as part of a larger fandom. Including but not limited to: Star Wars, Story of Seasons/Harvest Moon, Rune Factory, MCU, and many moons ago Voltron, Transformers, and Harry Potter.

4. What are your top 5 fics by Kudos?

[Redacted Anonymous fic] at 1218

Aggressive Negotiations at 312

Wells of Silence at 287

[Redacted Anonymous fic] at 280

Weekend Guests at 209

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! Or at the very least, I try to respond to as many comments as I can. I love being able to strike up conversation with my readers, and wallow in angst with them for a while. At the very least, I like letting them know I appreciate their feedback.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Hmmm... that's probably the fic where I gave Anakin Skywalker an almost happy ending; twins, husband, you know the drill. And then I violently took pretty much all of that away. Killed Obi-Wan, killed the twins, left her with a heaping pile of survivor's guilt. That's probably my angiestiest fic.

But also, I write rather a lot of angst, so...

There's also the one where I gave a child 23 older sisters, and then had them slowly and painfully die off, leaving her alone as the sole survivor. (Star Wars)

And there's the one where I detailed how an 8 year old accidentally killed his brother, thus screwing up everything so badly, the whole timeline had to be erased. (Loki)

And, well, Wells of Silence IS a canon compliant AU. And we all know how Revenge of the Sith ends.

Writing angst is fun okay!

7. Do you write crossovers?

Not really, no. Usually only when I'm messing around and being goofy, or if I'm combining a lot of sub-fandoms from a larger fandom group. But I don't really count those as true crossovers.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nothing specific comes to mind. I'm pretty sure years ago (and I mean like well over a decade at this point) I got trolled/hate on a fic by someone who was out to attack me specifically. I remember deleting the fic, and beginning to distance myself from the fandom. but obviously it didn't stop me from writing so... jokes on them. 😂

Otherwise, more recently I can only think of instances where people have used my fic comments as an excuse to vent about canon things they hate thinking they'll find a sympathetic ear, or got 5+ chapters into a long fic before saying 'it feels unrealistic that this character would do these things' to which I'm pretty sure I just shrug and don't respond.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I don't really write fanfic smut, no. It's not really my thing, and I'm happy cutting things off at an M/PG-13 rating for sexy times.

That being said, I have written non-fanfic smut before. No I'll never share it. It is well and truly laughably terrible.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

To my knowledge, no I haven't.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Many, many, many years ago @jessi-08 and I co-wrote and absolute crack fic for Jak and Daxter. It was deliriously fun times. But in a more ""serious"" capacity, no I have not.

13. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Nobody? I guess?? I'm not much of a shipper, really. I enjoy reading and writing ship-content, but I've never really felt devoted to any single ship in any fandom. I'm a multi-shipper? Omni-shipper? Basically, if the fandom can bring its A-game to a ship, I'll probably quite enjoy it.

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I mean, there are a couple dozen unfinished WIPs in my writing folder that I keep around with the intention of maybe finishing them, but deep down I never will. But also, none of those are posted.

Thinking of where I am and how my fandom interests have shifted, I'm probably never gonna finish Weekend Guests. And I stubbornly refuse to admit that Dust and Ashes is dead, but also, I haven't touched it in years, and kinda forgot what I wanted to include in the story. 😬

15. What are your writing strengths?

Oh gosh... (what is this question? I can't say nice things about myself)

I guess I would say my scene setting. I love spelling out descriptions and providing the sensory experience when I can in the scenery. Otherwise, probably my ability to sink my angst claws into people and hurt their feelings with words about fictional characters while I torture them worse than canon does (usually)

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Sticking to a goddamn regular posting schedule. I try not to get too wrapped up in writing regularly, so as to not punish myself for doing (or not doing) something that's supposed to be fun and relaxing for me. but damn I look at those WIPs that haven't been updated in months and I can't help but feel guilty.

Also, tied in with the above, starting too many projects before finishing up something else.

Also action scenes. and romance.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

It can work, I think, if it's done well. But usually, it's not done well, and it just feels clunky or tossed in for "spice." But like... pet names/nicknames in a native tongue, I am so weak for those! And it can also be a fun way to drop hints/foreshadowing, but as a bonus for the people who speak the language.

Idk, I'm not fluent enough in any language to feel like I have any definitive voice in the matter. I typically don't add other language dialogue because I don't trust google translate.

And if I'm writing for Star Wars, and it's an alien language anyways, I'm not digging that deep into the lore to construct a fictional language. That shit gets Universally Translated babey!

18. What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

Jak and Daxter my beloved! I'll never let you go! Every five years or so, I'll spit out a new fic for you 💜

19. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Oh no! I can't pick favorites! Don't do this to me!

Wells of Silence still sits up in my top 5, for a number of reasons.

Another of my tops is actually one of my Anonymously posted fics, so I will not mention name or fandom, but it is very beloved.

And they've been on the forefront of my mind, so I've got a soft spot for Earth and Rebirth and Our Dear Empress

20. Who do you tag?

Hmmm, let's see. @durotoswrites, @jake-marshall, @lookforaspoopynewangle (I know kate tagged you, but consider yourself double tagged), @jessi-08, and... I have all of a sudden gone completely blank on which of my mutuals writes fic 😂😬 (i only slept for 3 hours last night. leave me alone. my brain is swiss cheese.)

As always, if you want to play along, you are more than welcome to say I tagged you!

#tag games #becky writes things #writing #fanfiction #yes. I see the irony in the fact that my most popular fic and one of my faves is a Secret Fic #No I will not share it

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capricornus-rex · 4 years ago

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Hey! Idk if you do these type of requests but I was wondering if you could a Cal Kestis imagine based on the song "Say Love" by James TW? Where Cal is ready to say "I love you" but the reader is a but hesitant because of how messed up things are with the empire and her past. If not that's okay!thank you first taking the time to read this!❤❤

“Say Love” | Cal Kestis x Reader

To Anon: Hi Anon! I’ve been listening to that song whenever I write and it’s one of the fluffiest things I’ve ever heard!! Oh and btw, reeeaaaallly sorry if I kept you waiting for a long while since I had a lot in my WIP fic list 😭 But I hope you still enjoy this fic!

Additional tags: Song Prompt, Love Confession! Cal Kestis

Also posted in AO3

Masterlist

The liberating of the Wookiees was a victory indeed. It may be miniscule to the Empire, but to the partisans, it was a giant leap of faith.

You and Cal joined the partisans in retreating back to the landing pad, some of them have personally invited the two of you to come drink with them. It’s a tad bit early to celebrate, but it’s good of a reason to celebrate either way.

“Come on, we’ve ransacked their rations in the southern trench!” a partisan urged.

“Is it true that Imperial ration packs have liquor in them?” you inquired.

“That’s what we’re gonna find out! Come on!”

Like children in a schoolyard, the lot of you climbed over the wrecked walker and found an outpost on the ground. The blast door entrance had been damaged but your companions assured you that the goods are still intact.

“What do we got?”

“Usual foodstuffs, purified drinking water… Aha! I got a bottle of Dust Juice here!”

“Holy hell, they got Corellian alcohol here too!”

The soldiers murmured amongst one another, apparently discovering that each crate of rations had a different kind of alcohol stored in them—but by the bottle, perhaps meant for sharing. They gathered all bottles of alcohol on one side and then the foods in another. Each partisan carried a single bottle and whatever rations they can carry; you and Cal did the same.

You and your newfound comrades camped by the wrecked AT-AT, away from the eyes of the sterner adults who wouldn’t want anyone seen horsing around with the Imperial rations. All eight of you gathered around a power lamp that paled in comparison to an actual bonfire, thankfully enough, the weather in Kashyyyk isn’t too cold. Cal even borrowed Cere’s hallikset for this one occasion.

“Okay, okay, let’s just go with the classic game!” the same male partisan from earlier hollered, but was consequentially shushed by his more sober mates.

With an empty bottle of what was once Dust Juice, a single flick of his hand made the bottle spin. Everyone was either anxious or eager to know where the tip of the bottle will point to; they all leaned closer, nearly touching heads with one another. Eventually, you and Cal accidently bumped temples with one another and an awkward chuckle between the two of you followed.

“Sorry about that,” he chuckled.

“Nah, I’m fine. I mean, I got a thick skull,” you awkwardly joked.

The bottle pointed at one of the partisans, prompting them to close their eyes and reach out for one of the drinks that they mixed together—it was the dare of the game. All of you watched the poor, marked partisan hold out his hand towards the row of glasses, take one and then chug. Awaiting his reaction, his grimace made everyone laughed—apparently, it was a bad mix of Meiloorun juice and then Corellian brandy.

The game went on for a few minutes until an older partisan from the landing pad had spotted them, scolding them—except for you and Cal—and made them go to bed like children hanging out past their bedtime.

“Some celebration, huh?” you joked.

You leaned against the foot of the walker, resting your back and tilting your head to look at the stars. Cal fixed his gentle gaze on you while you’re too busy counting and tracing the constellations in the night sky. Every time he looked at you, he’s reminded of the one thought that has been troubling his mind ever since.

He has the words prepared, but they always go back right into nowhere when he parts his lips. When you ask him if there was something bothering him, he just ends up making up an excuse to lure himself away from what’s really in his mind. Of course, you’re too smart for that—he knows it perfectly well.

To shake away the thought, he distracted himself with a song he’s making up right from the top of his mind with the instrument, while sitting next to you. Light strumming twanged and chimed across the forest floor, you continue to gawk at the white dots riddling the dark blue sky; little did Cal knew that his thoughts were the verses to his wordless song.

“I wonder what you’re thinking right now,” you mutter out of the blue, practically startling Cal. “The same way you wonder what I’m thinking now.”

“Sorry, I thought I got a hold of my thoughts for a second there,”

“Oh, but you do,” you lowered your head to face Cal. A little chuckle escaped you. “It’s just that there’s this one thought that slipped.”

Even in the night, the vibrant red flushed across his face. You found it endearing to see his freckled cheeks burn a bright pink hue. Cal knew that you got him backed to a corner and there was no excuse to save him this time.

“Listen, I’ve been thinking…”

You bobbed your head slowly, mirroring how low he’s hung his head while waiting for him to continue.

“You and I have been going around together in a while and I guess it just happened to me naturally,”

“What did?” you pressed.

“I can’t explain it, [y/n], but I know I can’t deny it,”

For once, your eyes have truly met—not just with subtle glances or quick glimpses, but genuinely looking into one’s eyes and from there. From that exchange, Cal felt his chest become light, as if an AT-AT has taken one of its feet off of him; but after one weight has been removed, another replaces it—your would-be reaction.

Your breath shuddered and your palms got clammy all of a sudden. You fiddled your fingers, hoping that your circulation hasn’t halted for reasons unknown.

Not planning to keep Cal waiting, you take a deep breath.

“Cal,” you awkwardly chuckled. “I’m not that dense. You probably have sensed I was feeling the same thing for you too, but…”

Cal’s eyes lit up and then softened as fleetingly as a shooting star comes and goes, eager for you to finish.

You sighed, averted your gaze back to the stars.

“Everything’s just a mess right now—with the Empire and all our little endeavor with Cordova’s holocron—I’m just afraid that if I ever give myself to connect with someone, the consequence of loss will always scare me. I wouldn’t even dream of losing you. I don’t wanna end up going back to the time I was alone, y’know? I guess that’s what the Jedi was trying to warn us about: attachment leading to fear, aside from that stoicism stuff.”

Your heart felt heavy, knowing that as much as you feel the same way towards Cal, the pressure and risks that came along with it frightened you. Not once did you ever doubt Cal, but with the Inquisitors constantly chasing you, how long until he’ll be caught in their net? You’ve been used to being alone and afraid of it at the same time, that you end up thinking of one too many outcomes of every situation that sits in front of you.

You awkwardly tried to dismiss yourself out of this situation. It was too emotionally exhausting for you to handle, even if you’ve already said your piece with Cal and have said every point in your mind. You bring yourself up, attempting to slowly walk out of this predicament while hoping that he doesn’t misinterpret your answer.

“You won’t lose me. I won’t leave you alone at all,”

That promise stopped you in your tracks, slightly glancing over his shoulder—hoping that he’d repeat what he said even if you heard it loud and clear—and watch him fiddling with the hallikset.

Cal felt like a door had been left open for him, but no one to greet him. He didn’t know what to feel with your reply. It wasn’t a “no” after all.

Oh, what the hell, [y/n]?

“Oh and by the way,”

Cal had little to no reaction time when you sat yourself next to him and cupped his cheek gingerly.

Your first kiss.

It was so sudden for him that his heart almost exploded through his ribs. He had his eyes open when you locked your lips with his, and when he realized what was happening, he kissed you back—savoring the lusciousness of your lips with hints of tonight’s liquor. He even dared to dip his tongue into your mouth, a mischievous curl appeared at the corner of your mouth.

Finally withdrawing, you kept his cheek nestled under your fingertips, “Just so you won’t misinterpret what I said seconds ago.”

You left for real this time, leaving him flabbergasted in the best way possible. One quick look behind your shoulder and your eyes bade him “good night” as you walked back to the Mantis. He chuckled to himself, unable to firmly plant his fingertips against the frets of the hallikset and strum a single note. His free hand softly ran across his bottom lip, hoping to find more of the taste that your lips left in his mouth.

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