#i realise the irony of me of all people saying this because like im not a particularly great writer

[the-casbah-way]

the best writing advice i can give you is to ignore all of those people who insist there are a bunch of rules you need to follow in order to be a Good Writer, or are so painfully terrified of doing anything that has been done before or could be deemed cliched that they end up shoving themselves into a tiny box they’ve invented that completely restricts them creatively and stunts any kind of genuine growth they might get to experience as a writer. i ignore the rules of grammar fucking constantly if i think it serves the tone of my narrative better, because i think a sentence that’s ‘too long’ and doesn’t have enough punctuation is a GOOD thing if you want to illustrate a frantic or stressed person’s mindset. i WILL write the most stereotypical cheesy ending to a story because sometimes it just makes the most sense to do that because of the themes and conflicts im working with and im not going to force myself NOT to do it just because it’s ‘predictable’ or someone else did it before me (guess what everything has been done already and doing something that has literally never been done before is not actually what originality is). stop scaring yourself away from exploring and finding your own unique writing style just because someone is telling you you need to obsess over and memorise a load of non existent rules that people often just throw around to make themselves sound intelligent (it’s not working. you are dumb)

[scribbling-dragon]

hello i am utterly obsessed with your mer scott au (as you know) and i heard you were taking requests - maybe something about being kissed to shut someone up?

you look better when you're quiet

summary:

Scott doesn't think. Scott likes to tell himself that he thinks all of his actions through, likes to boast that every plan he’s successfully pulled off has been because of extensive planning, rather than just luck of the draw. Scott is also a filthy liar- because he hardly ever thinks his actions through, and when he does, it’s normally for no more than a few minutes. Thinking any longer than that would put him off of whatever idea he’s had, and normally he only has a few moments to enact it anyway.

He grabs Martyn’s face with his hand, pulling the other man around to face him. Martyn allows himself to be pulled, words trailing off as he meets Scott’s eyes. Martyn smiles at him then, a little nervously, as though just realising that he might have, just maybe, said a little bit more than he meant to.

“You have something on your face, dear.” Scott says.

(ao3 link)

(2,418 words)

i am. almost embarrassed by this im ngl. but i refuse to be really embarrassed! even if the kiss scene made me embarrassed dsjhdj

Scott is rather good at keeping secrets, if he does say so himself. The mysterious personality was specially curated to make him more interesting- everyone loves a guy with a mysterious past, right? And it’s much more fun to watch people try to figure him out than spill all his secrets the moment they show him some basic human decency.

As such, he is used to keeping secrets, and finding out other people’s secrets- those are leagues more valuable than any secrets of his own. A secret, applied in the right place at the right moment can put just enough pressure on someone to sway their decision in his favour. And a few secrets are always bound to crop up around the games.

Point being: Scott is good at keeping secrets. And he is very, very quickly finding out that his teammate is…not.

Case in point, being their current situation.

“You two are looking…pretty green around the gills still.” Joel snickers as he says this, probably rather pleased with his play on words. Really, it’s only a little funny, and only because of the irony of what he’s saying.

Martyn casts a short glance at him from the corner of his eye, lips twitching up. No doubt, he’s thinking the same thing that Scott is.

“Oh, certainly.” Martyn nods sagely, as though he’s imparting some great wisdom onto Joel and Jimmy, and not just stating the obvious. “We’ve both got a pretty decent amount of time left, too, haven't we?”

He feels his jaw tense involuntarily at Martyn’s words, refusing to look at his teammate as Joel raises an eyebrow in question. Jimmy continues to stand a foot behind Joel, arms crossed, as though attempting to make himself look more intimidating. At best, he looks like a ruffled chick- no more intimidating than a bit of tumbleweed.

“Really?” Joel’s sunglasses slip a little further down his face, yellow eyes peering at them from behind the glasses. Really, Scott thinks Jimmy is the only one that knows how to wear sunglasses properly- seeing as Grian refuses to wear them on his face at all, and Joel insists on wearing them far too low. Surely it must be uncomfortable to have them slip so low that they're pinching on your nose, right? 

Joel doesn't seem to care, if that’s the case, bringing a hand up to rest on the arm of his sunglasses, tilting them down further. Really, they're only covering his lips now, eyes fully exposed, glinting an even brighter yellow in the midday sun.

“Your glasses low enough on your face Joel?” He asks, interrupting whatever the other man was about to say. “I can almost see your chin still.”

“Shut up, Scott.” Joel shoots back, though it has no real heat behind it. They're on rather friendly terms with the…bad boys right now, and he doubts that they want to turn a few more people against them- especially as he’s pretty certain they're actually the only people tolerating them right now. He has not missed the way both Tango and Impulse have been staring at them from their base for ten solid minutes now. He doesn't think either of the bad boys have noticed yet, so he doesn't point it out.

“I can kick you off this island right now,” he points out. He takes a step forward, considering how much trouble he would land him and Martyn in if he shoved Joel into the water- the man is practically asking for it, okay! He’s stood right by the edge, staring at him over his dumb sunglasses; he’s basically asking for a dip! “Watch yourself, bad boy.”

“Now, now, Scott,” Martyn pats him on the shoulder. “There’s no need to tease them over their name.”

Scott knows that’s a lie, even without turning to Martyn and seeing the amusement twinkling in his eyes. His eyes are the only giveaway, and it really is a good thing that Scott is good at keeping secrets- good at not spilling everything just for his own amusement, because he can remember several of the iterations of the bad boys’ name that Martyn came up with last night.

“There’s nothing to mock about our name.” Joel crosses his arms, leaving his sunglasses hanging onto his face, just barely. Jimmy nods behind him, sunglasses glinting in the sunlight. “We’re the bad boys.”

Scott is also impressed that all three of them are able to say the name without breaking. Personally, if he had a name like that he would laugh every time he was forced to say it. But each to their own, he supposes.

“Yeah.” Jimmy chimes in. He’s like…the world’s most un-threatening bodyguard. His wings are all puffed up behind him, though it does little to hide how small they are. “We’re not for laughing at.”

“And you two are still green,” Joel points out. “How many hours do you even have?”

Scott should have seen this coming, really, should have seen how easily this conversation could have turned in a bad direction. He should have known that Martyn would open his mouth, and, with all his usual cheeriness that is actually endearing on a normal day, would ruin it all.

“Oh, I haven't got nearly as many hours as Scott has.”

He doesn't give himself whiplash turning to glare at Martyn, but it’s a near thing. He attempts to telepathically communicate to Martyn that he should be shutting the hell up right now. Martyn obviously doesn't hear him, because he opens his mouth again. Scott can hear Joel giggling, obviously finding something absolutely hilarious.

“Oh, really?” Joel asks, still giggling. It sounds like he’s hiccuping when he tries to smother them a moment later.

“Yeah, yeah,” Martyn nods, “he’s got like-”

Scott doesn't think. Scott likes to tell himself that he thinks all of his actions through, likes to boast that every plan he’s successfully pulled off has been because of extensive planning, rather than just luck of the draw. Scott is also a filthy liar- because he hardly ever thinks his actions through, and when he does, it’s normally for no more than a few minutes. Thinking any longer than that would put him off of whatever idea he’s had, and normally he only has a few moments to enact it anyway.

He grabs Martyn’s face with his hand, pulling the other man around to face him. Martyn allows himself to be pulled, words trailing off as he meets Scott’s eyes. Martyn smiles at him then, a little nervously, as though just realising that he might have, just maybe, said a little bit more than he meant to.

“You have something on your face, dear.” Scott says. His brain is running on nothing- it’s sprinting away from him, he thinks, actually. He doesn't pause in his actions though, he’s far too deep to back out now- and his mother didn't raise no bitch. His mother raised someone that saw things through, no matter how ridiculous or convoluted they got. And by god he is not going to let this moment be the one that ruins that for him.

He swipes his thumb over Martyn’s face, watching the way Martyn’s eyes widen. The edge of his thumb brushes against Martyn’s lips- they're close enough now that he could very easily close the distance between them and kiss him. Martyn’s eyes are very obviously asking for it, even as red rises on his cheeks. Scott grins down at him, allowing his touch to linger for a moment before pulling back.

He turns back to Joel and Jimmy. Joel’s sunglasses are moments away from slipping off his nose, and his eyes are rather wide, flicking between him and Martyn. He smiles at them, tilting his head slightly to the side.

“I thought you two were just leaving?” He says.

“I- yeah, yes!” Joel takes a step back, hand reaching out for Jimmy’s arm. “Uh, yeah, we’re just going now! Don't worry, we won't stick around, uh- sorry for intruding?” It’s not often that someone manages to render Joel speechless, so Scott allows himself to enjoy the moment, watching the two bad boys practically sprint back to the mainland, away from their little island.

When he glances over at the TIES base as well, both Tango and Impulse are missing from the tower, no longer watching.

“That was easier than expected.” He muses, watching as the flash of yellow that is Jimmy’s wings disappears into the shadowed forest. “I thought I would actually have to kiss you to make them leave.”

He glances over at Martyn from the corner of his eye, still grinning. Martyn is standing in the position Scott left him, the only difference is that his eyes are now cast to the ground, though they are still wide and staring, and one of his hands is pressed to his cheek.

Scott leaves him there, pushing through the gate and into their small storage area. He had just returned from a small material gathering trip before Jimmy and Joel decided to make an appearance and his bag is still laden down with several different materials.

He occupies himself with putting them away, sorting them neatly so they don't have to rifle through the chests to find whatever it is that they want. Unorganised chest systems are just so inefficient, really. And the time he takes while sorting out the various items gives Martyn just a little bit longer to regain his wits and scrape together whatever shreds of his dignity he has left.

His ears pick up the soft sound of creaking wood, no doubt Martyn is attempting to be as quiet as possible and failing rather unfortunately as he fails to take Scott’s better than average hearing into account.

Scott keeps his back turned to Martyn. Perhaps he should allow him this small win, after embarrassing him in front of both Joel and Jimmy so thoroughly. He hasn't checked his comm recently, but it has been vibrating. And Joel is much worse at keeping secrets than even Martyn, so it’s probably all over the server by now.

Good. Maybe people will stop bothering them now.

Scott turns only when Martyn is directly behind him, leaning back on the chest and grinning up at Martyn. Martyn grins back at him, though it is a little sharper than usual. “You're just going to leave me like that?” Martyn asks, leaning a little closer. Scott can feel his breath on his face. The scales around his eyes are just that little bit more sensitive to it, and he shivers.

“Like what?” He asks. “Standing around, like a gaping, lovesick fool?”

Martyn laughs, eyes squinting shut as he drops his head, shoulders shaking. Scott smiles at him, leaning a little further forward, pressing the both of them a little closer together. Martyn stops laughing a moment later, looking up. His eyes widen as he realises how close they've become.

Martyn’s eyes drift down, to his lips, and Scott grins. “See something you like?” He asks, even though he feels a bit breathless, a bit giddy with anticipation. Martyn’s eyes flick back up to his own, the green almost startling with how bright it is.

Scott stands from the chest, pulling himself up. He steps forward, and Martyn steps back, still grinning. He matches him, step for step, until Martyn’s back hits the wall on the other side of the small room.

He’s grinning, can feel it, and Martyn is grinning too- he can see it, a grin that teases him with a challenge that only his eyes can communicate. He presses Martyn up against the wall, one hand flat against his chest, and he leans in.

Martyn kisses him back eagerly, pressing forward, hands coming up, searching, clinging, pulling at his hair as they tangle themselves into it. Scott allows himself to be pulled forward- to be drawn deeper into the kiss, even as his lungs begin to burn. He doesn't mind, he finds he enjoys the burn.

Martyn pulls back first, lips red as he stares at him, eyes flicking down to Scott’s lips first, then back up to his eyes. One of his hands is still tangled in Scott’s hair, the other one cupped around his neck, keeping him close.

Scott finds himself panting, just slightly, leaning forward to press their heads together, grinning down at Martyn as they both regain their breath. Martyn doesn't say a word, simply staring at Scott, his eyes a little wider than normal and slightly hazed over.

Scott laughs, and Martyn’s eyes narrow a little. “You look better when you're quiet,” he teases. He can feel Martyn’s breaths, the way the heat spreads over his face, the rise and fall of his chest against his own. They're pressed close enough together that they could be one person.

“I guess you better keep me quiet then.” Martyn gasps out, still slightly out of breath.

Scott doesn't need any more permission than that, pressing in again, leaning closer, further in. His hands dig into Martyn’s hips- he can feel the way the other almost shudders against him at the action. He grins into the kiss, feels the way Martyn grumbles- can feel it vibrate through his chest as Martyn’s grip tightens on his hair, threatening to actually pull some of it out.

Martyn bites him a moment later.

He gasps into the kiss, eyes opening as he stares at Martyn. Martyn looks back at him, eyes heavy-lidded as he leans in again. The hand on the back of his neck slides around to cup his jaw, pulling him closer and keeping him there.

Martyn’s tongue swipes over the bite mark, soothing it slightly, before he presses himself deeper into the kiss again, stealing all the oxygen in Scott’s lungs. It’s almost enough to make him weak in the knees, and he grips at Martyn a little tighter, fingers digging into his hipbones as he clings on.

They only separate again when Scott feels as though he’s on the verge of passing out, spots dancing in his vision as he works on regaining his breath.

Martyn huffs out a little laugh, too out of breath to do anything more.

Both of them lean against each other, Martyn’s arms looped around his neck, breath ghosting over Scott’s collarbones.

“I think one of the TIES guys was watching us.” Martyn says, completely ruining the moment.

Scott groans, dropping his head to Martyn’s shoulder. “I liked it better when you weren't talking.”

[lunarthecorvus]

YOOO A KANEJ FAN

I HAVE FOUND MY PEOPLE

yes soc is awesome im on like a 3rd reread rn

actually i came here because of that asks reblog thingie to ask you something like what's your fav colour or shir

BUT KANEJ!!!

okay you gotta tell me your fav scene. also did you read the books or watched the show

Heyy! First I have to apologise for being so late with this- I can be good at answering asks or just awful at answering them on time-

I have read the books and watched the show. I watched the show first then got hyperfixated on the crows and needed to consume the books so I listened to the audiobooks! I adore the audiobooks and all the voices BUT I have a complaint about the pronunciation of words being different each time I heard them- even the same voice actors would pronounce the same word differently ahsha

Show wise I have quite a few favourite scenes and one of them is the one where all the crows (minus Matthias </3) were in that cafe discussing plans. Another one is the one where Jesper says that Jes means Suli for friendship, I loved the moment where the train expolded, the irony was just funny and I loved Jesper in that scene.

The scene where we had Inej, Zoya and Nina is the same frame was perfectt. Alina telling the Darkling she can deal with it hersekf and handle the people coming after her, also her killing the Darkling was amazing because I despise that creepy man. Inej doing the cool jump and slicing the shadow demon, iconnn. Honestly I almost wrote about that whole scene, I just love it all.

Seeing Kaz, Jesper and Nikolai be in the same room (the scene where Jesper and Kaz are arrested), I also loved.

Ooo and the scene where Inej is surrounded and goes 'the question is will I waste my prayers tonight after gutting you all' that was INEJ FUCKING GHAFA, shes so powerfulll. Then her and Nina interacting (I know not for long but stilll) and Nina speaking Suli, YESS. I wish that scene was longer.

Book wise, I could go on forever and in more detail about but I don't want this to be too long, so if you want to know more about why I love these scenes, feel to send an ask and i might get to it this year hopefully ahhsdh-

Inej being injured in the ship and Nina taking care of her. Just reading Nina care for Inej and them just being best friends and just talking was so nice to read, those girls deserve the worlddd, also their friendship means so much to mee.

Jesper and Wylan when they're breaking the chain because thats when I really realised how much I loved book!wesper and them interacting was so niceee. Also we just got see more of a newer side of Wylan and Jesper, it's one of my favouritee wesper scenee.

Kaz and Inej 'I would come for you' scene, when I tell you I was shocked at this scene, two people guarded like those two. Especially admitting that he would come for her not matter what was happening to either of them, he would come for herrr.

I was going to include just one but the other scene is the scene where Kaz says is my tie straight and Inej laughs, its them being in love and just being soft for a moment AHHHH, then when she goes to her parents and when she goes 'her heart was a river and it carried her to the sea', the fact that she gets to reunte with her parents hunt slavers and work with Kaz to take them down on land sometimes as well, JUST I LOVE HER and am happy for her. Her saying she thinks he's worth saving AAAAA.

Honourary mention is when she said the 'I will have you without armour or I will not have you at all' she set boundries as she should despite the fact that she knew she had feelings for him and wasn't willing to throw her life away and basically said that he needs to be willing to work on himself, Y E S.

Matthias and Nina, the kiss scene where he spins her around, I SQUEALED when I read that. I adore them both and was so happy when they actually finally broke down all the tensity and gave innn.

Nina being on Parem, I know that its sad because of what it did to her BUT she was just so powerful and commanding in that scene I just ahhhhhh love it. Also I love how Nina just manages to flirt her way through stuff and is an incredible spy, NINAAAA, shes so impressive

Wylan, ooo this one, its when Wylan was first disguised as Kuwei and watched his dad be fine with killing him, as well as just being face to face with his abusive piece of shit father. As someone who has/had a Dad like that when I heard that I was so FREAKING PROUD of him, he was face to face and watched his father do that and managed to boast to him about knowing he'd that and fooling him, Y E S. I was so impressed and knew the strength it would take to even face him, I'm still so proud of him to this

Inej, there are so many scenes but one is the 'when the world owed you nothing, you demanded something of it anyway.' just hit the feels, she's writing her own fate after other people writing it for her and knowing that unlike Dunyasha she didn't have some special protection when she was taken, but she will hold herself up because she has survived and she is INEJ GHAFA. Another scene like this I loved was the incinerator scene because it felt so just AHHH, she finally chose that she was going to survive and finally live, it just hitss. And she released she was going to do it herself and not for work for anybody and help people like her.

There are so many more Inej scenes but this post is already too long that I don't want to make it so much longer, I wanted to include scenes for Kaz, Jesper and Matthias but I saw this post was just so long so for now I'm ending it here, if you want me to write about those scenes just send me another ask about it and I'll include them :)

[merchantarthurn]

a lot can and has been said about miraculous and where it fails but truly i can only ever praise the writing choices behind marinette when it comes to the genuine emotional depth she has. i will be rambling. also about late season/new special spoilers cos goddamn

it's fun to be irreverent about this show because... well it's a fun kids show - it's irreverent about itself, just without the irony poisoning that often comes with that these days. but some of mlb's highs are... honestly so high... i'm feeling a lot about my girl this handy 4am so here's a ramble

with this new special im reminded again at the fantastic way marinette has been built up over the seasons and how her greatest strengths are simultaneously her flaws and that she's... complicated and messy in a way that captures how it feels to be a 14 yr old girl honestly. she IS a normal girl with a normal life in the sense that no, she isn't, but maybe you are or you will be in a few years and maybe it'll feel like this actually.

the way marinette tackles responsibilities when she has to be secretive is genuinely such an interesting and refreshing take for any piece of media let alone one that's aimed at kids!! the way that the flaws that come out in those moments are very heavily shown to not make her a bad person!! that the narrative sympathises with the way she fails. argh!!

like... honestly Gang Of Secrets (S4) showed it show clearly and im so happy to see it come up again (even if it pains me cos get her outta there!!!). defensiveness, anger, hyper independence, control. pushing away her support network because her civilian friends cannot know her secrets and that's basically like not being able to help, and eliminating them from her life means less variables to control for when she's planning how to keep paris safe. how much fear is behind her anger, how much desperation is clear in all aspects of production (did i mention the voice cast of this show actually is insane sometimes?? my god) and like... fuck me man she might have pulled herself out of the "maybe i should just be ladybug all the time, what's the point of being marinette right now" spiral pretty fast but that... hit something that felt really close to real, scary feelings i'll admit i think it came close to triggering me when I first saw it. and that was a weighty secret but there was at least an escape to it - ladybug pretty openly has secrets that most people respect, marinette cannot openly have that secret or it's as good as over.

then this fucking... season 5 finale and special... oh my god the escalation. and yet it's so. IN CHARACTER. control what people know, tell as few people as possible, defend your initial instincts. and now ladybug is part of the lie. she's lied to both her civilian boyfriend and the public and if at any point that slips... it's not just her who gets hurt! literally the worst case scenario: what she feared happens ten-fold to adrien because she lied about it and it doesn't even need to go public.

i've definitely seen people frustrated that she lied but fuckkk man she's 14. what happened in that basement triumph, realisation that there was no good way this would end, betrayal with an olive branch in hand, watching a person die (I do not care if he sucked as a father and tenfold with the secret stuff he was up to - relationships with abusive parents are not that simple and it was always going to be devastating to adrien and frankly good on mlb for keeping that door open as a potential thing to explore. also marinette is 14 and watching someone DIE), and having someone's last verbal wish be "please don't tell my son about this". i mean goddamn. at my ripe age of nearly 30 can say i'm not sure what i would have done with that.

i've already had several rants aloud about this and multiple zone outs so im going to cut myself off before i go... bonkers but... my god what an emotionally interesting place for season 6 to jump off of

[luvmoonie]

I find it weird that someone’s first instinct is to say I'm uneducated for not supporting israel. ive done a lot of research and to say so is to take away the integrity of having a debate, instead of just being upset i don't agree with you. why is it wrong to say that israel should not have occupation over gaza? if it emboldened hamas would we not just fight against hamas instead of killing innocent civilians in the name of doing so?

to say that me saying 'it was sixth months ago' is calloused and that i'm saying everyone should get over it, is to completely misinterpret my point, so the irony of people to tag misinformation is astounding. What I meant is that to still argue that what israel are doing: starving people, killing over 30000, bombing homes and hospitals, is not easily justified with the argument of october 7th anymore, as it is completely outweighed by their inhumane genocidal actions.

There’s no denying that it was wrong and horrific, but there's even people doubting israel's claimed death toll of that day, alongside many other claims they put out. Whilst there is also speculation of claims from gaza, the claims of the idf torturing and raping prisoners alongside the rest of their actions, makes it seem weird and callous to me to argue that killing palestinians is right for this event. and yes, of course the focus is on hostages still in gaza, but is this israel's focus? what about them killing people not even involved. i’ve heard many say palestinians are not innocent also, because they voted hamas, which is the most cruel and unjust thing ive ever heard.

So, to say I have a lack of understanding is really one sided, as you clearly have a bias, and so do your rebloggers who are claiming im antisemitic when there is no claim in any of my posts that is against jews. Where in my posts is it untrue or incorrect? id really like to know because nowhere have i showed a lack of concern for lives, in fact i openly condemn the actions of hamas. maybe you all need to self reflect, because you seem to lack any consideration for the innocent palestinians if it means israel get to retaliate for hamas' actions? my original post regarding this was about the ignorance of the us and the military side of this, as this is clearly a political issue that many are projecting onto. ( which we can see with how iran have retaliated and how the uk have responded ) I'm not antisemitic, nor do i condone the killing of jews in israel. for you to say so baffles me with your narrow sighted view and complete disregard for anything ive said. it seems to me that many who have seen my post have an agenda, and are desperate to show that me being pro-palestine makes me antisemitic and pro-hamas.

I understood that making a post like this would incite many to argue for the sake of arguing, and many to completely misinterpret my words to make their point. Still, I hope you can find it in yourselves to be as sympathetic to the lives of those suffering in palestine as you are to those in israel. Please take a break from the internet and look around you to realise that this is not people discriminating against jews, it’s people being against the genocide Israel is committing with the desire for both sides to be free from this conflict.

@jewishlivesmatter I can’t tag you or even reblog your post, suggesting you’ve blocked me or something similar. This shows the propaganda and biased view you’re attempting to portray, which is really harmful if you agree with others that palestinians are not innocent and deserve this. Do better, if you’re going to spew such hatred, atleast be open to debate. 🫠 I would love to message you and actually talk about something so serious, or even reblog but clearly that was not your intent with this!

( @meandtherodentinthewall @jewishbarbies @fnafcraze1991 @jewishlivesmatter )

[sky4cherry]

Okay this is just like my imagination running wild, but like hear me out okay? Imagine chet’s like, a police trainee right and he’s surrounded by like cops who are 1. Old 2. Corrupt 3. They suck . And so like they are on patrol and see some little greaser, cant be older than like 10 or 11 getting jumped by some socs and Chet watches the cop he’s working under turn a blind eye and he’s like ???

And then that’s when the extent of the soc/greaser social divide rly just smacks him in the face bc this little kid who probably has done nothing wrong just got ignored by the people who are supposed to help him and it just wont leave Chet’s mind for weeks

Idk why my brain just like , concocted this up but it did and now you’re a victim of my yapping 🤞

THIS IS WHAT IM SAYINGGGG LIKE I KNOW HE COMMITS TO BEING A POLICE OFFICER BECAUSE HE GROWS UP AND RECOGNISES THE INJUSTICE

first of all, it takes him STRAIGHT back to the night of bob’s death because let’s be so real johnny and pony both looked 14 and he just remembers the fear in johnny’s eyes, and the fact that he had to resort to murder to get out of that situation due to the fear he felt

suddenly it all just clicks into place, and he finds himself hanging back when the other officer with him heads off to go buy a pack of cigarettes, and he just walks up to the little greaser kid (the soc ran off before he could get there) and he kind of just ?? pats him on the back because he realises the irony of the situation

all i’m saying is he gets the kid’s address and later on he picks up the kid and takes him to cherry, at the hospital

i feel like it would start such a big revelation for him that at first he’s very much sneaking around and helping the greasers out when nobody can see, because the guys who are training him remember turning a blind eye when HE was the one beating greasers up

i feel like there’s a really bad fight at some point and a couple of the greasers he’s helped start begging him to do something, and he just does, no questions asked

and absolutely everyone is FLABBERGASTED when chet baker is putting two socs in the back of the cop car, and not the greasers they were fighting with

[sunset-bridge]

gorbo thoughts (the real)

if you saw the other ones no you didnt. its just i realized i forgot some Important things so my brain readjusted. i hope no one really saw the other ones or. if you did Erase them from your memory pretty please?

like. ok im certain he Does know from the start ( i. think?) that protag is joker, since he had already heard mona in the metaverse by then. i wasnt certain if you had to actually hear him or if just entering the metaverse was enough, but yeah you have to hear him; sae , despite having entered the metaverse, still cant understand mona since she never actually got to hear him there. anyways

but like. ok its so. funny and also Bad for me. can you imagine. hey going with the plan of. haha im gonna get this guy sooo bad. heheheh im gonnnnna. get him!!! and then like. ah shit im actually having fun but im gonna have to kill this guy a few months later. well.

like. "hehhe yeah im gonna get this guys trust by hanging out with him a bit and pretending to be a nice friend : ) its ok im super good at this i wont even get attached i completely control every single neuron in my brain NOPE i wont enjoy this because im always self aware. all the time forever" <---- the clueless

god with goro being the type of person to crave attention and . you know that he wants to feel needed or wanted around. hmm. i too would start to have a normal amount of fun later like. eheh. this guy likes hearing me blabber about stuff : ) ahah this is kinda cool i can just say whatever i want lol.. WAIT FUCK!!. like. ofc hes aware hes the Enemy but that doesnt stop you from having fun in the moment and then being like. SHIT !! like. you cant fucking control liking someones company like that lol. do you guys get what im saying. shaking you. mfw i need to be evil and shit but FUCK im still just human and have human emotions and shit

also. its. really funny to me. the. fucking traumadumping like. did he. was he trying to like. appear even more genuine to fool joker even more. but failed in the process and just. actaully Talked about Real Things instead. BECAUSE guys when i was playing. i sincerely thought "hey i wonder if any of these things hes saying about his past are even real lol.." LIKE I THOUGHT he would like. yknow make something up? but. nope. he just. he just used his Real Lore. hello goro?

but like

tbh understandable. i cant imagine he had many people he could share stuff about his life with; hell , not even shido, since he couldnt know about goro's mother and what not. and other people, way too risky. they could make rumors about the detective prince

guy was just waiting for an opportunity to drop that on someone BHSGHSGHKF

quoting my beautiful friend sage: like his brain probably abandoned the plan as soon as he started talking bc he didn't realise how much he needed to get it off his chest. and then he like "fuck he knows too much about me now. he needs to die".

boyloser. mfw i try to gaslight my silly rival into trusting me by acting genuine but at some point i start being Too Real

^^ this is it . like. yeah ok goro you can pretend to be cold and cool but. idk man this shit would eat anyone away. i would Want to tell it to at least Someone at some point you know.

honestly this is on shido for trying to use a traumatized 18 year old as a spy hitman. an 18 year old who wants to be needed by anyone even. like cmon. honestly skill issue. like cmon man

anyways. im. normal about it. ahah can you imagine that your only slightly real friend is the guy you have to kill a bit later. like. the only time you can be somewhat genuine is with your fucking archnemesis rival . man. and even then its like. im a guy hiding under 37 layers of irony but hey this other guy (also hiding under 37 layers of irony) is kinda cool fr.. . ggggggggggg

[zukotheartist]

Maybe im just an annoying geezer but why does Katara have so much makeup? why did Annabeth in pjo? why cant we allow TWEEN girls to not have to put makeup on their face? why cant we allow them to just have foundation and concealer like their male costars (because i do understand that these are netflix/disney shows so every actor needs some touch-ups or whatever).

Literally 2 days ago i had a 14yo explain to some of us 20yos how she "doesn't really use makeup" and for school "all" she does is mascara, blush, illuminate/highlighter and eyeliner... (and im guessing she uses foundation too, it's rare to apply blush without it, but didnt list it because it's "a given").

Look, im ALL pro choices when it comes to this stuff. There's absolutely nothing wrong with wearing a lot of makeup but it's so harmful to ignore the issues we have created around it.

20-30yos will go on tiktok with a rant about Sephora kids being spoiled and brats and this and that and "Omg, youre a lil girl, why do u even care about makeup" without realising the sheer IRONY at them saying all of that... while doing their own 20 step makeup routine.

Again. This isnt me saying makeup is bad, i think it can be really fun and beautiful and creative but too many people act like there's no inherent harm in the way we, as a society, have handled it. So now, lil girls are supposed to have the makeup routine and skills of a 30yo and we're also supposed to judge them for it?? fuck off and let kids be kids.

[darkestpsi]

when i say that i like both dabi and shouto i dont mean it in the "oh my god they're so hot i wanna fuck them" kinda way or the "lol they both hate their parents just like me fr" way but that i really do understand how its like to grow up around such tough, hard love. to have your entire worth, the level of care and responsiveness you receive in moments you definitely should not be seeking this constant validation but your fucking veggies and milk - all of that being based off just how useful you can be to your parents; being told that the point of your life quite literally is for the fulfilment of thEIR dreams, in THEIR way, under THEIR supervision, yknow?

like, i can literally not even begin to count the many recordings on loop i have of my mums voice in my head telling me to always be better and to do so much more, be so much more - achieve things, great things and live to just please and please and please - for herself, for her dead mother (who probably doesnt even care about half of the shit that i have done since she passed, because dead people cant feel - they cant feel, but somehow their presence still suffocates), for the status and the level of respect itll give both her and my dad (so that they wont ever be referred to as immigrants again) and the amount of money ill eventually get paid thatll somewhat, somehow all go back to them, anyway.

point is, dropping so suddenly from being so loved and praised and shown off when you were younger and tried your hardest to be that bit better to the broken toy you are now, unable to carry out their tasks - demands, even - easily replaced by someone younger, someone so much better than you; worth so much more than you. when they are born.

idk.

i joke alot about how similar my family dynamic is to the todorokis, the distance between me and my siblings now after all it was that we went through together and how im literally doing medicine for my parents so that they can get their doctor, and i can get my peace, but its very truly something ive had no control over my whole entire life. all ive wanted is some damn control. lmao. my mum literally named me after a doctor she saw on tv who was giving a lecture about medicine and i laugh at the fucking irony of it all because god, you dont even realise that this is fucking killing me, ma- but the thing with touya, the parts of him that diverge from my own experiences is the fact that he was able to break free from all of those restraints secured by his family, the goals they set him, the ones he set himself. the guilt and disappointment and oh my god, how could you -why - why would you regret not being able to meet those expectations and him being thrown aside like everything he ever received was so palpable and fleeting because he was a toy, was always a toy to my mum endeavor. he knew he couldnt compete with shouto. shouto the gifted child. the hero. the hate and anger he feels towatds him, idk, it hits so fucking close to home. but i also see so much of myself in the way shouto is so fucking willing to be the good child, the perfect child, who pleases and pleases and pleases; doing everything he is supposed to without retalliation because thats what hes supposed to do and thats what they want him to do and eventually, someday, somewhere he will get his peace as a hero, because he was "born to be the best", born to be a doctor hero - literally both sides of my personality at war oh my god AAAAA

i literally can not help but attach myself to those characters.

[terribletoonietuesday]

Final Caller (2022)

Todd Sheets is still at it but this time he tightens his madcap horror genre into more of a murder thriller, a gutsy move but Im gonna say it was a good move. More specific it's a tighter story and direction then Todd usually is. His usual crew of cronies who may not be "professionally trained actors" but always bring their charm as present as usual. However villian Jack Mccord and Anti Hero Douglas Epps are very impressive. Sure Douglas Epps may not be winning an Oscar here but he steals the show in an bit part he appears in of Sheets movies but this time he is the staring role and for indi film makers you have to be impressed. He is cringy, he is upsetting and yet you feel so dirty because you like him. He does have a weird character trait of talking as a radio host and as his regular pacing which he does mix up a few times. What he knows how to do is go on foul mouth rants and be a likable scum bag.  I would love to see him in more non Sheets roles (hyped for his role in the upcoming Terror Toons sequel). If he was given some less rant style dialog I'd love to see what he does.But don't worry his rant dialog fits his victim of his own hype character in this movie. Your basic plot is a serial killer calling him self The Outsider (wonder if he is an nwo wolfpack fan?) is calling into a late night  sleaze talk radio show hosted by Douglas Epps. What we discover is as vile and tormented and hateful as the Outsider is you will find the radio host as different as he is can be as loathsome in his distaste for humanity. Alot of cringy internet hate talk happens here with the getting boring hate on political correctness and complaining that everyone is afraid these days and needs to stand up for them selves is shared in sentiments from both the host and the killer. Im not sure if this is supposed to be a sense of irony but it does come off that way. Its one of those films where it feels like its pro that message but when you realise how loathsome both villian and anti hero are you feel less annoyed and just hope the fellow horror burn outs watching this aren't cheering this ranting on. Especially at the 50 minute mark when a twist comes in that you will not see coming. Todd Sheets has tried to make his horror lighter and fun but there is still that angry punk rock kid inside him that just wants to shout out "People fucking suck". Jack Mccord as the outsider is creepy as all hell. He is your basic grumpy fat old balding man that loves to be covered in blood and reminds me of white boy b movie version of an Anthony Wong role. The blood is crazy in this while still feeling like a thriller in the pacing (an insane mad mans B movie of insane gore take on a Thriller but still) . Is it wrong that Todd Sheets darkest movie is one of the most fun hes done in a long time. Available on DVD from Wild Eye and now streaming on Tubi.

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

Thanks for your answer to my ask (re: Louis being perceived as straight, 2010-2012). If you're open to it, I'd love to hear any thoughts about his styling especially pre-2012. Personally I look back very fondly on his lesbian fashion era. He felt "non-threatening" in a way, which certainly seemed to attract a queer "lane" of fans even back then - whether because of the clothes, Larry Stylinson (but this didn't seem to define Harry's "lane" back then as much, IME), whatever.

Thanks for your thoughts anon. I absolutely agree with everything you say about the way Louis was styled in those years.

I have said this in lots of different ways, but I do think the fact that Louis is very easily read as gay has had a significant impact on his career from those very early years. In those early years, I think there was an assumption that the 1D target audience would not read Louis in the way older people would. That he would be read as safe and there would be an audience for that. And if adults might make knowing comments - would it matter?

To me the only explanation for the way Louis was styled in 2010-2012 was that everyone was involved thought that him coming across exactly the way he comes across was the best option.

(It's worth noting at this point that nobody involved in 1D had comprehended the change that had already happened. They weren't imagining that a moment where Louis stared at Harry and pulled on his braces could be cut up and turned into a short video loop that could be shared and watched with incredible ease. They were styling him for that moment, not realising that every moment would last for all time).

I think there are a couple of important thoughts to feed into this - the first is that Louis was the oldest 18 in 2010, 21 by 2012, I suspect they didn't want to age him up and that any effort to style him and media train him so that he was less likely to be read as gay would (and did) age him.

I also think there is a key element of class in all this. I've always thought the 2011 riots are an important unspoken context for 1D's launch. I think they needed to thread a very narrow path - they were very much what the media wanted to imagine young working-class lads to be like - cheeky but ultimately compliant. They had to exist as a fantasy alternative to what was going on, without ever reminding people of it. And I think in this context being easily read as a gay was a way that Louis was going to avoid being associated with a way of being working-class that was the target of hatred and prejudice.

There's this massive irony of course, one that has underpinned Louis' career. Six years later, when the imagined working-class had changed and those original images weren't as threatening, and also when much more was at stake with Louis being read as gay, Louis came out full swing with everything that he would have been carefully coached and styled to avoid in 2011.

And all the time the underlying assumption is the same: that queer working-class people don't exist so a celebrity can only be one or the other. But queer working-class people do exist. And that's why longing for braces and hating that Louis smokes is to miss the point in just the way that 1DHQ and Louis' team have always assumed that everyone would miss the point.

[dovechim]

a remedy for mondays 04 (m)

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 (final)

➾ 10.1k

➾ summary: all you wanted was just one day off work. but for that to happen, you need to invent a plausible reason. and then somehow, somewhere along the way, things get out of hand, and now people think you’re having a baby with your co-worker Park Jimin after a one-night stand. confused? join the club.

➾ warnings: romantic sex, unprotected/ pregnancy sex, creampie, cum eating... the usuals

➾ a/n: thank you for following through with this series so far. im sorry for the wait, but here is the final part :) I also realised that part 3 was not on my master list, but that has been fixed. I hope everyone is keeping safe during these times.

enjoy, and a happy Monday to you :)

(some people asked to be tagged in this, I think @pjmcth​... I and forgot who else 😅)

The first Monday off work, you have grand plans for yourself.

Grand plans that include sleeping in until noon, getting up only to stuff yourself with whatever is left in the kitchen, and then going back to sleep until its dark outside.

It’s your first off day in the longest time that you can remember, and you’ll be damned if you have to move any more than strictly necessary. Finally, it’s time for you to lead the lazy life that you’ve always craved for.

But the best laid plans never come to fruition, and you are left staring miserably at the clock at 7am, wide awake and unable to go back to sleep. Your body clock has been honed after all these years, and it simply will not let you rest. Instead of feeling warm and content, snuggled up in your bed under the covers, you just feel empty and wronged.

Scrolling through social media only delays the inevitable for so long. Looking at all the meaningless memes and watching countless video after video until you finally cry yourself back to sleep again.

When you next wake, it’s noon. You still have the leftovers of the stew that Jimin made the last time he was here, and you spoon it miserably into your mouth after heating it up, but everything tastes like sawdust. The side dishes from Granny are lying untouched in your fridge, and you can’t bear to look at it for a moment longer.

When you lie in bed, you stare at the ceiling motionlessly. Your thoughts are scattered and you can’t help but feel as if your body is not your own anymore. Maybe if you close your eyes, everything will go away when you open them next and this will be just a bad dream.

The first Monday you have without work was supposed to be the best one you’ve had in ages, but instead it passes over in a blur of misery.

The days blur into each other as you cage yourself up in your home, too tired to go out, but too awake to sleep either. It’s only by some primal survival instinct that you keep yourself fed, not to satiate the hunger pangs, but with the lingering consciousness in the back of your mind that whatever is growing inside you at this very moment needs sustenance too, even if you do end up throwing it all up anyway. You’re far too gone to cook anything for yourself, so at this point it’s only Granny’s side dishes that are keeping you alive. What you’ll do when they run out, you have no idea.

You actively avoid thinking about the pea sized bundle of cells growing inside you that very moment. Maybe it’s because you’re scared of having to face a reality where you really might be a single mother, or perhaps it’s because they remind you of a certain man that you loved and lost.

On the third day, your routine of lying in bed is interrupted by a loud and insistent knock on the door that doesn’t go away even when you attempt to ignore it. Dragging yourself to your feet, you pull on a sweater that you pick up from the ground, aware that you haven’t showered or combed your hair in days, but you don’t have any energy to spare in making yourself presentable.

You answer the door, already opening your mouth to tell the delivery person or salesman or whoever that they’ve got the wrong unit.

But it isn’t some stranger. It’s Granny’s kind, smiling face beaming at you as she reaches forward to grasp your hand through the bars of your gate.

“_______!” The way she greets you is as if she hasn’t seen you in years. She looks so happy to see you that it feels as if the whole world brightens up a couple of notches just from her smile alone.

“Gr-Granny! What are you doing here?” Her grip on your hand is warm and reassuring, and she only lets you go for a moment as you move to unlock the gate and usher her in hurriedly.

You’re ashamed at the state of your house. Dirty plates and cups everywhere, empty containers of food dumped in the sink. You are a mess.

But Granny doesn’t say a single word about it as she bustles in, and that’s when you notice that she’s carrying a large bag that she carts over to the kitchen. It’s once again filled with her side dishes, and she stocks all of them into your near empty fridge without a word.

“Granny… that must have been heavy to carry all alone. You shouldn’t have come all the way…” You hesitantly watch her as she organises your fridge for you.

“Nonsense. I only tried that delivery service that one time because all my friends were raving about it. But it turned out to be such a hassle to pack and address everything. I rather do it myself!” She says in a matter of fact tone as she finishes stacking the containers and turns around to face you with a fond smile. “And this way, I get to see how you’re doing too.”

Your eyes brim with tears almost immediately, and you inwardly curse the stupid hormones.

“How did you… how did you know my address?” You watch Granny, and she doesn’t seem to stop moving as she picks up plates, containers and cups, puts them in the sink and wipes down the table counter.

“I squeezed it out from Jimin, of course,” she chuckles at the memory. “Silly boy tried to stop me from coming all the way down here by myself, but when I said I wanted to bring you food…”

Your heart skips a beat at the mention of him.

“But why me? What about Jimin? Shouldn’t you be bringing him food instead of me?” Worse still, the guilt threatens to overwhelm you with how selfless Granny is being, putting you over her grandson when you’ve been nothing but a curse to him.

Granny looks over at you with a confused frown on her face. “What? Jimin? He can take care of himself.” Her kind eyes are smiling as she turns to look at you.

And then it hits you, that she’s only being this nice because she thinks you’re pregnant. A lump forms in your throat as your eyes drop to your midriff. You can’t lead her on any longer. Granny deserves to know the truth, and like Jimin, she shouldn’t have been dragged into this whole mess in the first place.

“Granny… I have something to tell you.”

“Hmm? What is it, Puppy?” Her nickname for Jimin makes your chest ache, and you have to sit down for this. She is scrubbing the dishes at your sink, and the casual, fond way that she gives you his nickname makes what’s coming even worse. God knows you aren’t ready for the impending look of disappointment and anger on her face.

She’ll probably curse you and storm out. Maybe she’ll slap you with the kimchi she brought. Either way, you deserve it.

“Granny, I…” The words are stuck in your throat, and you just can’t find a way to word it. “We lied to you. Back when Jimin and I visited you and your family, and even before that. We… I wasn’t pregnant. We were only pretending to be so that…”

Your voice trails off, and you tire to think of explaining the whole story behind why you even pretended to be pregnant in the first place. You can’t think of a single thing to say that might explain why you deserve her forgiveness.

“I know,” Granny puts down the soapy plate that she was scrubbing. “I didn’t come here to bring you food just because of the baby. Or just because I thought you were pregnant. I came because I wanted to see you, and my silly boy was being so vague and avoiding my questions about you over the phone that I had to come down and see you myself.”

Her response catches you off guard. “Wait, you knew that we were pretending all along?”

Granny only smiles. “Not all along, dear. But when you were at my house, I was packing up the room that the both of you stayed in, and I found your bag of pads and tampons. Now, that wasn’t enough to make any solid conclusions, but combined with the fact that you weren’t showing yet…”

Your shoulders slump. “So you knew. Why didn’t you call us out on it? We were… we lied to you. No, actually, it was me all along. I dragged Jimin into this and made him lie to you. You should hate me, curse me, anything-!”

But Granny doesn’t do any of that. Instead, she approaches you, placing her hand on your shoulder in a warm, reassuring touch. “I could never hate you, Puppy. Not after I’ve seen how much Jimin likes you. You know, he used to be such a shy little thing. But after he met you, I saw how happy you made him. It’s like we all saw a side of him that only you could bring out.”

There is a moment of silence as you digest all this.

“And it’s not just because you made him happy either,” Granny continues. “______, it would be an honour to have you as an addition to my family. Baby or not. We all really like you. You’re strong, you work hard and you’re an intelligent young woman. What more could we want?”

“Granny…” your eyes brim with tears and they spill over, as you clutch her hand, feeling the guilt squeeze your heart over and over. Granny has treated you as part of the family from day one. She saw the good in you even when you couldn’t see it yourself. Her kind eyes and warm embrace makes you feel safe enough to pour everything out to her. The years of mistreatment at your job, all the humiliation that you endured from Bae Joohyun, how you got fired for committing fraud, and the ultimate irony of it all…

“Granny, I messed up. With Jimin. With everything. We said we’d try for a baby for real so that we wouldn’t get in trouble with the company, but they ended up finding out anyway, and now I’m really…” you stop to wipe your cheeks. “Really pregnant.”

A chuckle of disbelief leaves your lips. This is the first time you’ve said the words out loud, instead of just denying it and hoping that it will just go away on its own. You expect Granny to jump for joy or cry with happiness, but instead, she squeezes your hand.

“Does Jimin know?” She asks gently, handing you some tissues and stroking your hair.

Granny’s tender loving touch makes more tears well in your eyes. It’s been forever since you received the love and care that only a maternal figure can provide, and the thought itself reminds you of the tiny little spore that is probably growing inside you at this very moment. Your emotions are just all over the place, and one thought easily snowballs into another.

“No, he doesn’t,” you press the tissue to your damp cheeks, and it soaks through instantly. “I couldn’t tell him… not after everything I put him through. What kind of sick game would I be playing on him?”

Granny only lets you wallow in your ocean of self-pity for a tad longer before she tsks under her breath, straightening up.

“Well, that’s the least of your worries for now. If I were you, sweetheart, I’d think about suing that company of yours. Or at the very least, getting some kind of compensation from them.” Granny’s voice is a no-nonsense one, and it reawakens the rage and indignance that had been drowned out.

She’s right. Being down and feeling sorry for yourself like this is not going to accomplish anything. You’ve never been one to take things lying down, to take the cards as you’re dealt them, but somehow, somewhere along the way after working at this company, you changed. You got beaten down, slowly but surely, and you didn’t even realise it.

Hastily, you wipe your cheeks dry and try to push yourself to your feet. Your movements are fumbling. Where is that notebook with the evidence of all the mistreatments and humiliations you’ve endured over the years? If you’re going to retaliate, might as well mount a full scale attack against those corporate bastards.

But the lack of nutrition over the past few days gets to you, and your vision blacks out for a moment when you stand up, causing you to wobble dangerously on your feet.

Granny sees the look of resolute determination that comes over your face, and she reaches out to steady you. You make a weak attempt at reassuring her that you are alright, taking a few steps forward, but she stops you again.

“Where do you think you’re going, Puppy?”

“To- to get my notebook. And then… I need to get dressed.” Thoughts are racing through your mind of how you’ll storm into the office, fling the doors open with a cup of hot, steaming black coffee in hand and not-so-accidentally-

“You’re not going anywhere,” she says with a firmness in her voice that matches her grip as she forces you to sit back down.

Appalled, you open your mouth to argue back, but Granny shakes her head.

“Not until you’re eating properly and regaining your strength,” she clarifies, pushing up her sleeves once more. “And I’m here to make sure of that.”

The next few days, you’re treated like royalty. Even though you feel bad for making a woman of her age do all the housework, cook you meals with ten side dishes three times a day, Granny won’t have it any other way. Even when you try to sneakily help out with folding a piece of clothing or washing the dishes, all you get are looks of disapproval from the warm old woman, and you feel too bad to keep going.

You’ve never eaten so well before. Chicken, beef, fish, pork. Vegetables of every kind, roasted, stir fried, steamed and blanched, and plenty of fruits too. And along with all that are all the essential pre-natal vitamins that you’ve neglected to take up until now. Granny feeds you better than you could ever feed yourself, and you wonder how you lived without her all these years.

No wonder Jimin turned out so well.

Slowly, the colour begins to reappear in your cheeks. Your hollow, sunken face begins to fill out again, and you find yourself more energetic. Granny looks on with approval as you work at your desk, writing down a long list of everything you’ve ever wanted to say to Bae Joohyun. She listens with a beaming, proud smile on her face as you rehearse your figurative war cry, giving suggestions on where to embellish with more emotion, where to really let them feel the full extent of your wrath.

And on the day itself, she helps you pick out your outfit.

“This one, you look good in this,” Granny says finally, after you have tried on five different outfits.

You look at yourself uncertainly in the mirror, not used to what you see. The light makeup that you had applied for the first time in ages sits unfamiliar on your face. You’d given up on wearing makeup to work a long time ago. Your figure is clad in black from head to toe, dressed in a power suit that you could never bring yourself to wear. You had bought it on impulse years ago when it was on sale, and ever since then it has lived in the back of your closet, waiting to see the light of day. The lapels are made of satin, the suit jacket nips in at your waist snugly (thankfully not toosnugly, considering your current condition) and your legs are somehow longer than you remember them being in the tapered, slim fit dress pants.

Your hands linger on your lower belly for a moment, self-consciously turning to the side to see if it protrudes visibly. But at this stage, it’s barely visible. Then your gaze travels down to your bare feet, and Granny’s voice matches your thoughts.

“You should wear those,” she suggests, pointing to a pair of strappy, low heels that would compliment the outfit, lengthening your legs even more but still providing enough support so that you’ll be comfortable.

But you had something else in mind, and you have to tear your eyes away from the pair of plain old battered flats that you used to wear every day without fail. Similar to the power suit, that pair of heels has been sitting in your cabinet for as long as you can remember, never having the courage to wear it out.

“Women who wear heels with a suit are dressed to kill,” she says by way of explanation, and she sounds so logical that you can’t turn her down.

You bend down to pick up the pair of heels, placing them by the door as you head back to the kitchen, ushered by Granny, to finish the breakfast she made. Today it’s an omelette egg roll and soft tofu soup with pork slices. The egg roll has ketchup squirted on it in a smiley face, and you can’t help but laugh when you see it.

“Granny, I’m not five years old you know,” you pout at her, folding your arms in a gesture that would suggest otherwise. But the following grin on your face as you stuff your mouth with the warm, soft and savoury egg roll is unstoppable.

Granny only laughs as she sits down beside you with her own portion. “You and Jimin are the same. That’s how he likes his ketchup too.”

At the mention of Jimin, your chopsticks freeze in the midst of spearing another egg roll. Your hand shakes a little as you set the utensils down. The thought of running into him only to be faced with his cold look of rejection just chills you to the bone. There’s no way you could stomach that from him.

“What if… what if I see him?” You say in a small voice.

In all your practice runs, you had only gone over what to say to Bae Joohyun and HR. You kept yourself focused on the task ahead, not sparing yourself even a moment to indulge your emotions. But you hadn’t thought of what would happen if you run into Jimin, how you’ll tell him about the baby, or how you’ll make everything right again.

When you start to think about running into Jimin, your mind starts to overthink about what it’ll be like to step foot into that place again. The workplace that you suffered at for years, enduring all sorts of humiliation and injustice just to get to where you are right now. Your breathing involuntarily speeds up- some kind of post-traumatic response, and for a second, you think you might just chicken out of all this.

Just then, your phone placed on the table beside you lights up with a text.

Kim Taehyung: hey… um… i know it’s weird of me to be asking this since u already left us but… Kim Taehyung: if u can, can u come in today? we r rly shorthanded and could use ur help. Kim Taehyung: if it helps, bae joohyun said she’ll buy you a nice lunch if u can come in today. Kim Taehyung: please?

And then just like that, all the feelings of insecurity and cowardice disappear. The nerve of this fucking company. They fire you for fraud and then beg for you to come back and work for them for free? You honestly doubt that Bae Joohyun actually said that, but that’s not the point.

You can almost feel the rage heating up your entire body. Granny takes a look at your screen and tsks under her breath.

“I don’t know what kind of company that is, Puppy, but I’ve never seen one that treats its employees like that.”

Your fingers are trembling as you type back a reply. First, you type out a curt rejection, adrenaline filling your entire body as you imagine what Bae Joohyun’s reaction might be when she learns that for once in your entire miserable career working for her; you turned her down. But there is also a chord of fear that strikes you through the heart, borne out of an ingrained instinct to submit to your inner yes-man in order to please them.

You hesitate before pressing send, taking a moment to compartmentalise your emotions and think this through. There’s a chance that when you get to the office building, you might be turned away by security because you don’t have your access card anymore.

Deleting your entire message, you rack your brains to figure out how to field this situation to your advantage.

Up till now, they still think you’re this pathetic little girl who’d roll belly up to please them at a moment’s notice. They don’t even have the decency to feel a shred of guilt for asking you to come in and work practically for free.

Except you’re not intimidated by them anymore. Now, you are in the position of power.

And this is how you’ll take them down.

Holding your breath, you type out a short reply to Kim Taehyung.

You: I’ll be there at 10.

Granny nods her approval over your shoulder as you put your phone face down, not even bothering to check when Taehyung’s reply comes back.

“You know… I don’t think you’ll have to worry about Jimin. When he sees you dressed like that, he won’t be able to resist. He’ll fall at your feet,” Granny says with a mischievous smirk.

“Granny!” You chide her with a blush heating your cheeks.

“What? It’s true,” she says with a pout that looks oh-so-familiar. “Just be natural, Puppy. Say whatever that comes to mind. That silly boy is probably dying to see you but is too stubborn to come all the way here. Why, he probably looks a right mess too. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s been crying his heart out the past week.”

You start to open your mouth to contradict her, but all Granny does is push another egg roll into your mouth as she urges you to finish your breakfast. “Eat up, Puppy. You don’t want to be late.”

*

It’s funny what a change of outfit and shoes can do to a woman. It makes you feel like an entirely different person as you walk into the office building at 10 am on the dot. You’re no longer the meek little employee stuck in a dead-end job who can’t stand up for herself.

No, today you are brave, you are confident, and you are here to give back everything that’s been dealt to you all this while.

Security stops you as you enter. You’re already kind of used to this, since you were never once assigned with your own photo pass in all the time you worked here. Everyday, you had to sign in as a visitor and go through the security checks only for visitors, which more often than not, made you late for work when they hit a snag in the process every now and then. Being made to feel like a visitor at your own workplace does things to a person’s self-esteem, but you grit your teeth and remind yourself that this is the last time you’ll be doing this.

“Who are you here for?” A burly security guard asks you with a stern expression, even though he must have seen your face on a daily basis for the past few years.

“Kim Taehyung.” You say truthfully, and the guard just nods as he waves at you to put your bag through the scanning machine.

Waiting at the other end after having stepped through the metal detecting gates, you scoop up your bag and walk to the elevator. Seeing as it’s past the usual reporting time, it is empty, and your heart pounds in your chest as you watch the numbers go by on the elevator display.

When the doors open, you have composed yourself again, a straight face as you stride towards the doors. You wave your temporary access card and enter, once again struck by the ominous familiarity of the entire place.

Kim Taehyung spots you from his workstation immediately. “______!” He calls out your name in nothing short of a yell, and you fight the urge to cringe, watching as multiple heads turn around to look at you.

Including Park Jimin’s.

Granny was right. He does look a lot worse for wear. He resorts to hiding behind his enormous geek glasses again, blonde hair limp and dull over his forehead, his pretty brown eyes no longer have that warmth anymore. His usually plush, luscious lips are pale, and he looks as if he hasn’t slept in days.

Out of the whole office, even with multiple eyes on you and voices whispering out of curiosity, he is the only one you can look at.

“I’m so glad you could make it!” Kim Taehyung is almost at your side as he spreads his arms in welcome. There is a wide grin across his face, not unlike how he was before. “We really, really need you here.”

Hearing those words makes you break the eye contact with Park Jimin to look at Taehyung. For a moment, you desperately want to believe that those words are true. And it makes you doubt yourself, makes you think that maybe this company isn’t so bad after all, maybe they do treasure you after all. If Taehyung says he needs you, then maybe they really do need you to help them out with a piece of work that no one else can do.

But no. They had years to realise your worth. Why are they only doing it now, after they fired you so unceremoniously?

So you placate him with a bland smile. “Sure. What would you like me to do?”

Taehyung practically skips to his desk. “Ok so we need you to go through some of the brochure material that we’ll be pushing out soon. Just another pair of eyes to make sure that we didn’t miss anything. I know you don’t have your laptop anymore, so you can borrow mine. Oh, and…”

You watch his eyes slide awkwardly to where your old desk used to be. In your absence, they had replaced the smaller desk with a full sized one, currently occupied by someone you don’t recognise.

“…uh, we’ll get you one of the empty meeting rooms to work in,” Taehyung motions for you to follow him, and it’s all you can do not to look in Park Jimin’s direction as you turn away. “You look great, by the way. Hardly recognised you.”

You clear your throat awkwardly as a way of responding as Taehyung sets his laptop on the table for you and plugs it in. He opens the required documents for you as you seat yourself in the hardbacked chair.

“So… here are all the things we need you to look through. Let me know when you’re done, okay? Thanks again, ______!” Taehyung beams at you as he lets himself out of the room.

Left alone, you relax a little. At least things seem to be going your way for now, even the parts you didn’t plan for. Minimizing the word document window, you open Microsoft Outlook and navigate over to Taehyung’s calendar. There, you scroll down to find Bae Joohyun’s calendar and all her appointments and meetings for today.

There. At 11.30am, she has a meeting with the Policy team, with HR in attendance. When you scroll down to the meeting details, you see that Park Jimin has been appointed secretariat for this meeting. You ignore the flutter of nerves that arise at the sight of his name to open up Taehyung’s instant messenger. What you’re doing could really get him in trouble, but then again, a part of you simply doesn’t care. He was complicit in all of this. You have no sympathy for him at all.

You send a quick instant message to one of the Policy team to let them know that the meeting has been cancelled so that you can hijack it for your own purposes. When they reply with an acknowledgement, you sit back in your chair, letting out a sigh of relief before quickly deleting any signs of evidence from his chat log history.

You spend some time going over what you prepared to say when you finally meet the witch, everything from past payrolls where you were underpaid for your overtime work, a draft from a lawyer threatening to sue for illegally divulging your medical information to a doctor’s letter proving your current pregnancy. Everything you need to take that witch on is right here.

A soft, timid knock sounds at the door, and you hurriedly gather everything into a pile and shove it into your bag. Can’t have your plan given away before you’re ready. You expect it to be Taehyung coming to check on your progress, but when the door cracks open, you see a flash of blonde hair, followed by a soft, sweet voice that you missed so much.

“Can I come in?” Jimin asks with his eyes trained on the floor in front of you.

“Come in,” your hands twist together out of nervousness, and you see that Jimin is carrying a cup in his hands as he approaches you.

“I uh… I brought you this. I know you need coffee every day at around this time, so…” Jimin gingerly places the cup on the table without taking a single step forward so that he remains as far away from you as possible. You can see that he is nervous, all the tell-tale signs are there. From the way he keeps running his fingers through his hair to the way he bites his bottom lip and avoids eye contact.

You never really realised it, but you do always go to the pantry at around this time for your before lunch coffee. It gets worse when you realise that Jimin used his cup to make you coffee, and as you stare at his beloved One Piece mug, you have to stop yourself from crying.

Jimin mistakes your silence for something else, and he clears his throat awkwardly as he takes another step backwards. “Well um… let me know if you need anything. I’ll just be… I’ll be outside.”

A part of you wants to call out after him. There are so many things you want to tell him, but before you can gather your scattered wits, he lets himself out of the room.

It’s okay. It’s the wrong timing anyway, you tell yourself in an attempt to calm down and put all thoughts of his sad puppy eyes out of your mind. There will be enough time to talk to him when this is all over. Right now, you have to gear up for the biggest battle of your life.

When 11.30am comes, you shut the lid on Taehyung’s laptop and let yourself out of the room. You know Bae Joohyun always likes to stroll into her meetings exactly 2 minutes late, so you take your time walking to the meeting room. When you are 10 steps away, you see her black clad figure just ahead of you. You watch her push open the meeting door, and you have to consciously fight against back the pulse of intimidation that runs through your entire body. You quicken your steps and push the door open after her.

Just as you’d hoped, the only people in the room are the witch herself, Kim Namjoon from HR, and… Park Jimin as the note taker. He looks surprised to see you in the room as he straightens his posture, eyes widened almost comically in the way that you’ve become all too familiar with.

“What’s this?” Bae Joohyun doesn’t look the least bit bothered, just continues to tap away on her special iPad without even looking up. “Why is she here? Isn’t this meeting with the Policy unit?”

Kim Namjoon looks flustered as he looks at you, gesturing with his chin for you to get out. When you don’t make a single move, he turns back to Bae Joohyun, visibly sweating. “Um… there must be some kind of mistake… _____, we could talk about this later?”

The way his voice rises in a desperate plea only makes the victory even sweeter.

“No. It’s not a mistake. I’m here to dispute the terms of my termination.” You take out your folder of evidence from your bag and drop it on the table. “Of course, we could invite our colleagues from the Policy Unit to sit in on this meeting as well, but something tells me that you won’t want them to hear about what I have to say.”

There is a beat of tense silence as Bae Joohyun contemplates what’s on her iPad screen. She hasn’t looked up even once since you walked into the room. She lets out a soft sigh, as if all this is beneath her and just a waste of her time. Seeing as you aren’t about to get her attention any time soon, you shift your gaze to Kim Namjoon.

“First of all, I would like to bring your attention to the unfair compensation that I have been subject to all these years. According to my calculations, I have yet to be compensated for 136 hours of overtime.” You push a stack of timesheets towards Kim Namjoon’s shocked face. “Time and time again I’ve submitted these, only for them to be rejected.”

Bae Joohyun doesn’t react at all.

“Secondly, I have consulted my lawyer about the illegal release of my medical information. He has advised me to take legal action both against the doctor who allowed my medical information to be leaked, as well as the company itself who illegally utilised the information.”

You pause for a moment to let the words sink in, and at the very same moment, you see Kim Namjoon’s face turn slightly green as he processes the meaning of this.

“Sure, you might be thinking that it’ll be easy to win a lawsuit against an individual like me, being a huge company and all that. But I don’t think it will reflect too well on your organisation as a whole, will it?”

Bae Joohyun blinks once, then taps a few times on her iPad so that the screen goes black. Then, she shifts her gaze to you, her face still unreadable, but you detect a hint of uncertainty in her eyes.

“So? What’s your point?” She folds her arms and addresses you directly.

A good sign. A very good sign.

It’s time for the final blow. You brace yourself with your fists clenched by your side, aware of the mounting tension in the room. Namjoon is practically holding his breath, you can see him shaking in his seat with his eyes darting back and forth between you and Bae Joohyun. Jimin has given up all pretence of typing and hiding behind his laptop, and he is looking at you with nothing short of awe on his face.

You reach in for your last piece of evidence. “You are aware that in this country it is against the law to terminate a pregnant woman without a thorough inquiry? And if a pregnant employee must be dismissed, it has to be based on relevant and objective performance criteria?”

A small raise of her eyebrow as her head nods imperceptibly, but you can see Bae Joohyun’s expression waver.

“Yes… we are well aware of that. It is a policy I have helped to implement,” the witch says with a hint of pride in her voice.

A satisfied smile spreads across your face as you draw out the doctor’s letter. You can hear Jimin’s sharp intake of breath in the otherwise silent room, and the shifting in his seat as he leans his elbows on the table. His mouth is slightly open, but no words are coming out.

“According to this letter, you’ll find that I am currently almost 2 months pregnant. As such, having been terminated whilst pregnant without further inquiry or offer of wage compensation, I am entitled to further legal action against you and the company.”

You toss the letter directly to Bae Joohyun, and it lands heavily in front of her. You can see Jimin’s fingers twitch as his stare burns a hole into the letter, before looking back at you with an unreadable expression on his face. The witch herself lets out another sigh before meeting your eyes, completely ignoring the letter.

“We will look into raising a fair and just inquiry.” Her words are brief, and she casts a sideways glance at Namjoon as she says this, as if this was all his fault to begin with.

Namjoon, on the other hand, rushes to accept the blame. “O-of course! We will ensure that the entire process is as transparent and fair as possible.”

“No need for that,” you say with an indifferent wave of your hand, and the satisfaction grows when the witch herself does a double take.

“What… what exactly do you mean by that?” Bae Joohyun is unable to believe her ears.

Jimin is looking at you as if you just saved the world from total destruction. The admiration in his eyes can’t be hidden as he grins. Namjoon looks sick.

“No need for the inquiry,” you say just to make things clear. “I’m aware of how things are done at this company, and sad to say that it’s anything but fair. I’m quitting. Notice effective immediately. You’ll hear from my lawyer regarding the compensation that I owe for my notice period.”

You reach into your bag for the last envelope, tossing your resignation letter onto the table with a practiced ease. Then, you gather your bag and make your way out the door, Bae Joohyun’s shocked expression burned into your retinas.

It feels like you’re walking away from an explosion like the cool guys do in the movies. For once in your life, you feel like the protagonist of your own movie rather than the side character.

Everyone else in the office is still working quietly, so you escape the office without being pursued further. When you stop to press the lift button, you hear the doors fling open, and a panting Park Jimin appears.

“Wait!” Jimin has his hands on his knees. “Le-let me drive you home.”

His eyes grow desperate as the lift doors open.

You owe him an explanation too. You hold the lift button as you turn towards him. “Will you?”

*

The drive home is silent up until he parks in front of your apartment. Neither of you make a move.

“2 months?” Jimin finally breaks the silence. “When did you find out?”

“After… after they fired me. They called me with the results from the free checkup. That’s how I found out.”

“So you knew when I called you?” Jimin’s heartbroken voice stabs you right in the gut.

There’s no excuse you could make for yourself. “It- it’s true though. Everything I said.”

“What?” Jimin looks and sounds like a puppy that’s been kicked.

“I did drag you into all of this. It was selfish to use you as my excuse the first time, and I couldn’t let myself go down that road anymore. You made all my Mondays better, but I made yours worse. You don’t deserve this. You deserve so much better than me, than all of this-“

“-but I want this,” Jimin grasps your hand and pulls it to his chest. “I don’t care if it’s selfish. All this while you’ve been assuming that you dragged me into this, that I was the unwilling party all along. But have you ever stopped to consider for one second that I might want this too? With you? That you made my Mondays better too?”

When you take a moment to look at his face, the Park Jimin that you’ve come to know and love over the past few months, the familiarity of him soothes you. The plump cheeks, rounded eyes, and the special smile he always has just for you. And he’s right. Never had you thought that he might want this- because why would he? How could he?

“You want this? But… why?” You are incredulous, unwilling to believe.

“Because I love you. And the thing growing inside you right now,” Jimin lets his emotions get the best of him, all the better to say the words he’s been struggling to say ever since he saw you that morning. And maybe it’s not the most romantic, but it’s filled with sincerity at the very least. “I’m in love with you, rash decisions and all. The day where you dragged me into your mess was the best day of my life. My Mondays have never been the same since.”

You can’t help but laugh aloud at how realistic his confession is. Classic Jimin style, savage as always. At the sound of your laughter, Jimin grins also, slightly shy from just pouring out his feelings like that, but proud of himself all the same.

“Granny knows, you know,” you say in between your laughter. “She knows we were faking it all along. And- oh! She came to visit me, you should come in and say hi to her.”

“What?” His comical gasp only sends you into another laughing fit. “Since when?! You could have told me sooner! She’ll spank me so hard for lying to her…”

“She’s not the only one who’ll be spanking you,” you can’t help but tease him, the opportunity is just too perfect.

“Agh! Don’t talk like that when my Granny is involved!!” Jimin buries his head in his hands in embarrassment.

You tug at his hands, opening your side of the door. “You have to come in, at least! She’ll be so happy to see you. To see us together again. She was the one who helped me with all of this you know.”

You drag a grumbling and still embarrassed Jimin inside, stopping every few seconds to tease him about his red ears and pinch his cheeks.

“Oh come on, Granny won’t be mad when she sees how cute you look. Wait, no. She’ll insist to feed us like there’s no tomorrow. She’ll say you lost your chubby cheeks,” you grin at him as you unlock the door, fully savouring the bubbly feeling in your stomach that makes you feel as if you are floating.

“Isn’t it good, though? It means I lost weight,” Jimin places a hand on his own face, as if to gauge whether his cheeks have slimmed down or not, still fretting over how Granny will react when she sees him.

“No! Of course it’s not good! You shouldn’t be losing any more weight, you’re perfect as is,” you drop your bag at the door and kick off your heels, groaning in relief. “Granny! We’re home!”

“That should be my line,” Jimin mutters under his breath as he braces himself to see Granny. But minutes pass, and he doesn’t see his beloved Granny.

“Hmm? That’s strange. Where did she go? She was just here this morning,” you mumble to yourself, walking towards the kitchen and wondering if she might be too immersed in cooking, but then you spot a scribbled note tacked to your fridge.

I left for Busan already, Puppy. You did well… I’ll leave you two alone. Side dishes in the fridge! Stay safe!

“Oh? Puppy? Why did she write that note to me? How did she know I’d be here?” Jimin is confused as he reads the note from over your shoulder.

You can’t help but smirk at his confusion. “Sorry, but Granny decided that the nickname belongs to me now.”

As Jimin protests with a pout, you can’t help but smile at Granny’s thoughtfulness. Seeing that your thoughts are somewhere else, Jimin rests his chin on your shoulder to demand for your attention like a cute puppy.

You turn to him and your attention is drawn to one of your favourite parts of him- his lips. Noticing that they are still a little dry, you frown and reach inside your pocket, taking out your favourite lip balm.

“Hold still. I’ve wanted to do this since this morning,” you place a hand on his chin and uncap the lip balm, dabbing and swiping it gently across his full lips. Though slightly dry, his lips are so soft and pliable under your touch, and the way he closes his eyes to enjoy your touch has you clenching your thighs together. With every swipe of the lip balm, his bottom lip looks plumper, and you can’t help yourself any longer.

Carelessly tossing aside the lip balm, you chase after his lips with your own, tasting the sweet peach flavour of the lip balm and feeling just how soft and cushiony Park Jimin’s lips are. He makes the cutest surprised little sound, eyes open for a second before he kisses you back with equal fervour.

You make sure to scrape your teeth against his plush bottom lip, fulfilling one of the fantasies you’d been dreaming about since this morning.

When you break away, Park Jimin has a teasing smile on his slightly swollen lips. “I guess that’s an efficient way to put lip balm on for two people.”

“Shut up already,” you say before you start to giggle all over again, and Jimin takes this as an invitation to go in for seconds.

“Since… since Granny said she’d leave us alone… shall we?” Jimin is somehow endearingly shy even though the two of you aren’t strangers to this.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

He tugs you into your bedroom eagerly, and on the way, you can’t help but grab a handful of his ass through his dress pants. Park Jimin pretends to be shocked as he turns around, arms around your waist as he makes you sit down on the bed gently.

“That’s sexual harassment, Ms.” His words contradict his actions as he runs his palms down your thighs, fingers dancing up your inner thigh.

“But I like your ass,” you say with a pout, imitating him and the way his cheeks puff up.

“I like yours better,” he says with an unabashed grin. “And I fucking love this suit on you. The moment you walked in this morning… I think Taehyung saw my boner.”

You can’t hide your squeal of embarrassment as you clasp a hand to your mouth, but Park Jimin only grins as he invites himself to undo the button on your pants.

“I said I really liked it… but I’m changing my mind. I want it off, now.” He bids you to lift your hips so that he can peel the pants off your legs, exposing your bare skin. His fingers on your skin makes your temperature skyrocket, and even more so when they tease at the edges of your underwear. He sees the damp patch in the centre, and glances upwards with raised eyebrows. “Are you wet already? I haven’t even done much yet…”

The cute way he glances through his bangs with the slight smirk on his lips makes you feel brazen. “I’m pregnant… I’m always wet these days.”

Park Jimin lets out a sharp exhale as he drags his thumb against the wet patch to feel for himself. You would be embarrassed were he not so clearly turned on by this, demonstrated by the urgency with which he pulls your underwear down and wedges his shoulders between your thighs. Without a single word, he kisses the inner flesh of your thighs, working his way up to where you need him the most.

It’s torture to watch his plush lips get closer and closer to your centre, until they finally envelope your swollen and aching clit. He wraps his lips around them and sucks, thick fingers digging into your inner thighs to keep them spread as he licks up every drop of your arousal. He eats you like a man starved, and your back arches under his ministrations. He gives your poor clit a break as he switches to broad flat licks with his tongue, and everything just becomes so much wetter. You can see that his chin is glistening, but he doesn’t mind in the slightest as he only spreads your legs wider, one thigh on each shoulder.

The lewd position in which you are in, seeing his golden head in between your thighs makes you want him even more. You are aching to feel him, to be closer than physically possible to him.

Jimin satisfies your hunger by introducing two fingers into you, and you whine at the stretch. His fingers have always been so deliciously thick, and he basks in your reaction.

“You like that? Like being filled with my fingers? Tell me how much you like it.” His vulnerable side shows through as he glances up at you while you thread your fingers through his soft hair.

“I missed this… missed you so much,” you voice comes out in a breathless whisper as you clench around him. You glance at him to see how he’s rolled back his sleeves to above the elbow, using his other hand to push his hair back and show off his forehead glistening with sweat and you swear you get a million times wetter at the sight.

“Like what you see baby?” Park Jimin shows off with a cocky little smile, pushing his hair back again just for good measure. He can feel how much wetter you are, and you can bet he’s not going to let this go just like that.

“Good looking bastard,” you swear under your breath as he rubs your clit with his thumb. “I sure hope our baby takes after you.”

“The good-looking part or the cocky part?” Jimin has the nerve to tease you, but you don’t have your wits to answer any more as he flattens his tongue against your clit, driving his fingers inside you just to send you over the edge.

Maybe it’s because you were deprived of his presence for the past week that this orgasm makes you realise how much you were starving for Park Jimin. Your thighs clench around him, shaking with mind numbing pleasure as he continues to thrust his fingers inside you.

He shows you no mercy as he continues to rub your clit slowly, the other hand stroking your inner thigh to soothe you. It’s characteristic of him, getting you used to the overstimulation whilst comforting you at the same time.

You push yourself up on your elbows, seeing the bulge in his dress pants and feeling the impatience fuel your actions. “I want to see you. Why are you still wearing these?”

He is preoccupied with licking the rest of you off his fingers as you struggle with the button on his pants, setting him free and reaching past his underwear to grasp his cock. The feeling of his thick length in your hands ignites a hunger inside you as you stroke him, running your thumb across his tip as he kicks away his pants. His abs tense as you palm his cock, and your mouth waters at the thought of running your tongue across them.

“I can’t wait to see you round and swollen with our baby,” Park Jimin says out of nowhere, his eyes hungry as he pushes your blazer off your shoulders, fingers working magic on the buttons of your shirt. He pushes that off your shoulders as well, eyes feasting on your breasts sitting so prettily in the cups of your bra. “And these. They’ll look so beautiful leaking with milk just for me.”

Jimin undoes your bra with ease, slipping the straps down your shoulders. He drags his thumb across your peaked nipple painfully slowly, then he pinches it sharply, eliciting a cry from you.

“The milk isn’t for you, it’s for our baby,” you remind him with a warning squeeze to his cock, sliding your own thumb through the messy tip.

Jimin meets your eyes with the cutest pout ever. “The baby can share. They’re not getting here for another few months yet.”

How he can look like a kicked puppy with your hands around his cock, you have no idea. The duality of Park Jimin will be the death of you someday. He crawls forward as your hands rid him of his last article of clothing, hungry to touch his bare skin and feel it against your own. Jimin makes sure your head is nestled comfortably against the pillows as he kisses his way down your body to your breasts, taking one nipple into his mouth and sucking, giving you a glimpse of what it would feel like when you do start producing milk later on.

You can feel his cock against your inner thighs as you cradle him with your body, feeling the hardness of his abs against your softer body, the curve of his ass. Jimin is still satisfying himself with sucking on your breasts, licking and teasing you to his heart’s content.

You twitch in response, feeling much more sensitive now that you’re a few months along, but Jimin looks as if he’s enjoying your breasts so much that you don’t have the heart to stop him. His fingers are delicately stroking your lower belly as he worships your breasts, muttering sweet nothings about how perfect you’ll be as the mother of his baby.

“Want your cock, now,” you urge him with your voice and reinforce it with your thighs nudging him into position. You feel the head of his cock blunt against you, and without taking his mouth off your nipple, he positions himself with one hand and enters you with a fluid thrust of his hips. As if he can’t take his mouth off your breasts for one second.

He continues to suck at your breasts as he fucks into you, the stretch of his cock and the welcome burn making you curl your thighs around him. Once he’s certain that you can take it, Park Jimin starts to pound into you with his cock, his rough thrusts contrasting with his gentle sucking and kissing.

He finally lets up with the assault against your breasts, pushing your thighs together and putting them on one shoulder. This suddenly display of strength has you gushing on his cock, and it only strokes his ego even more.

“You like getting fucked like this? Hm?” Jimin punctuates his filthy words with a particularly hard thrust that you can feel all the way to your cervix. “You like getting fucked so much, it was only a matter of time till you got knocked up like this.”

He watches your breasts bounce so deliciously, knowing that it is because of his fucking.

“I love it, fucking love it. Love you,” your reply is disjointed, every thrust of his hips sends his cock so deep inside you. “Want you to keep fucking me.”

“I will, baby don’t worry,” he places one hand on your hip and the other just under your breasts as he buries himself deep. “Give you all the babies you want.”

“Want you to cum inside me, give me all your cum,” you watch as his expression twists in pleasure, his cock twitching inside you as he pulls out almost all the way, only to slam back in. “Fill me up the way you did when you fucked a baby into me. Then I want you to fuck your cum into me.”

“Ahh, fuck,” he swears harshly under his breath, you always know just how to get him. Your cunt is so tight and warm around him, everything is so wet and he’s missed the feeling of you wrapped around him. He holds a tender hand to your lower belly. The thought that you’re giving him a baby, and he gets to be the one to hold you and fuck you and kiss you makes him feel like the luckiest man in the world. “I’ll come so soon.”

“Cum for me baby please,” you play with your nipples, putting on a show for him as he groans, thumb finding your clit as he struggles to hold himself back. “Want to feel your cum inside me. I want to be dripping with your cum.”

Jimin quickens his pace on your clit as his thrusts start to become sloppy, and he throws back his head as his abs tighten. With three more thrusts, he buries himself as deep as possible into your warm cunt, feeling himself unleash ropes of cum into your depths. You can feel how warm and sticky everything is, and the feeling of his cock pulsing inside you sends you into another orgasm as well.

True to his word, Jimin doesn’t pull out immediately, giving you lazy little thrusts to fuck his cum back into you as if the two of you were still trying to get pregnant. It’s the little, silly things that he does- making you prop your hips up, pulling out his cock so slowly and plugging you up with his fingers that makes you fall even deeper in love with this fool.

“I heard cum is good for the cervix if you’re pregnant,” he says by way of explanation as he watches globs of cum escape from your lips. He indulges himself by spreading it a little, before pushing it all inside you. “Softens it so you’ll have an easier birth.”

“Bullshit,” you giggle at him. “Next thing you’ll be telling me is that cum facials make me look younger.”

Jimin frowns indignantly. “I would never say something as ridiculous as that!” He’s never really been into painting your face white with cum, he’d rather save it all for your sweet pussy. “But that cervix one really is true- I read it on the internet!”

Jimin swipes two fingers through the mess that is your pussy, bringing it to his lips for one last suck before he cuddles in beside you. Suddenly, he freezes.

“I wasn’t too rough, was I? I didn’t hurt you?” He runs his hands down your body as if to check for any sore spots.

“It’ll be a while before I’m at that stage- so we should have all the kinky sex now before I’m too fat for you to tie me up,” you reassure him with your hand over his.

Jimin releases a breath against the back of your neck. “Kinky sex hm? I could be down for that.” There is a moment of silence as he draws mindless patterns on your lower belly, and your eyes flutter closed before you hear his soothing voice again. “I’m so excited to see our baby. I want more babies after this. Hey, we should have a gender reveal party. Or a baby shower. For real this time.”

It’s so adorable that he’s so excited about all this. “We should invite Yoongi too. I think they should have popped out their baby by now. I want to put Yeji to shame by being hotter than she was when she was pregnant.”

“Of course baby,” Jimin muffles his laughter into your shoulder. “We’ll do that.”

You hear your phone ping from somewhere far away, and it wakes you up just as you’re about to drift off to sleep. You stir Jimin awake with your elbow and make him fetch your phone for you. With many grumbles about how he better get extra kisses for this, he leaves the bed for a moment, and deposits your phone in your hands before snuggling back under the covers.

You unlock your phone and open your mail app. Your delighted gasp wakes Jimin once more, and he’s wide awake the next moment.

“What is it!? Did the baby kick?” He doesn’t stop to think when he’s alarmed, but it’s adorable.

“It’s too early for that,” you say as you do a double take at the words on your screen. You can feel the smile spreading across your face as you read the email again. Jimin sits up in bed and squints at your phone screen.

“I got a job offer!”

[curious-menace]

The rogue gallery members general reaction to encountering the batman who laughs and his creepy ass Robin's.

ok id like to preface this by saying that red death batman straight up crucified riddler and decapitated scarecrow and the batman who laughs is MUCH worse than red death batman. 

i want to enjoy the dark knights metal but it is needlessly fuckin complicated with all this multiverse oververse omniverse shit. maybe i just don't have the galaxy brain necessary to get it so i apologize if this is all wrong 

(also i know its canon that the batman who laughs has no rogues gallery left, either because he killed them or joker killed them before he turned but hey ho hypotheticals it is)

also no one talk to me about kiss fan lookin riddler from this verse. im not ready. 

Penguin

i think his first reaction was to laugh. Batman’s finally gone and he took joker with him. I mean he literally calls him "bat gimp". I seriously doubt he anticipated the fallout of batman becoming some sort of hideous joker hybrid. he still chuckled when he started seeing the news. someone calling themselves “the batman who laughs” and “the darkest knight” then he sees the robins, he even recognises damien and it makes him a little sick. he books the next flight out of goodwin before things get too hot. 

shame goodwin was burned to the ground to stop anyone leaving gotham. 

with everyone inside. 

Twoface

i dont think its an exaggeration to say he was absolutly fuckin horrified. it's rare that harvey and two face agree on something, but this bastard has to go. the murder and mayhem he could tolerate, hell even killing the other rogues, some of them needed to be stopped. but having to look at this creature and know it was once bruce? harvey knows better than anyone its a fate worse than death to be trapped in your own mind with someone else running the show. they do their best to stop the darkest knight, bring all the hired guns they can to the fight but it wasnt enough. Harvey dies, but at least he went out trying to do the right thing.

Poison Ivy

She sensed him coming, her flowers screaming at her to save herself. part of me wants to hope she took one look at that abomination and noped the fuck out of there to slaughter swamp or something. but we know ivy, she stands her ground like a tree planted by a river. she looks people like batman and joker right in the eye and down the barrel of a gun and says “no, you move” Shes not a good person, but in this verse she might as well be the hero of the story, maybe the only meta human in gotham who stood a chance against him. The batman who laughs was scared of her and thats why she had to die. if she’d just minded her own business she might still be here but no. She dares the batman who laughs to come for her, she’s going to take him out. for what he did to her plants, to gotham, to HER home and HER friends. unfortunately for her ivy was one of the first on his kill list. She doesn't go down without a fight. ironically it was her human qualities, the human drive to help people that got her killed. she heard one of the robins crying and went to investigate. the batman who laughs doesn't care about those robins, he’s got a basement full of jokerized kids to throw at people. 1 to trick her and a few more to hold her down while he doused the lot of them with weedkiller and gasoline then poof.

i doubt the botanical gardens will ever be the same. 

Scarecrow

part of me wants to say he’s loving this. He’s enjoying all the suffering and sadness and fear as the batman who laughs murders everyone and everything from the dandelions upwards . but he cant, not just because he’s not the one causing it. this is fear without meaning or purpose, this is killing hope so thoroughly that there is nothing left for people to fear, not even death. he’s not so foolish as to think he wont also be on the batman who laughs chopping block. so he makes himself scarce, works on a toxin that might be able to stop him or even slow him down so someone has a shot at it. Jon knows hes going to die, its only a matter of time before that thing calling itself the darkest knight sends one of his minions to his doorstep. He’s been working on something to try and help the rabid robins. he has a small soft spot in his cold obsidian heart for kids and looking at these creatures makes him physically ill. 

he thinks hes made a breakthrough, thinks he’s finally got a formula that will effect batman and the joker and hopefully, whatever abomination they’ve become . he decides theres no time like the present to try it out when word of the other rouges deaths reach him. he’s the last one left and thats....well its scary. His surprise attack works, the robins go down without a fight, screaming and scratching at their faces, their throats and each other. regrettable but if he stops the darkest knight now, maybe jon can help them. Just when he thinks he’s got him, scarecrow goes down. so close, he falls at the finishing line, his toxin having as much effect as a gentle summers breeze. Much like the original scarecrow , the batman who laughs likes using guns. For jon however? he makes an exception. poor scarecrow gets eviscerated by his own scythe, pilfered from arkham asylum by the batman who laughs. gotta love the classics, right?

Riddler

Riddler was second on his kill list. only because the batman who laughs knew how much it would annoy riddler not to be at the top. He’s another rogue who stood a chance of stopping him if he really tried. sadly edward is nowhere near as altruistic as harvey, and could never be as strong as ivy. He likes to think his escape is for everyone's benefit. live to fight another day and all that. He learned from harvey and pamelas mistakes, took one look at this new batman and his creepy kids and said “fuck that noise” and tried to run. except he didn't really try. god if he’d only gotten out of the city, he would have been the only rogue that survived. the batman who laughs looks at him like a pathetic insect, unworthy of notice. he’d have killed riddler eventually, maybe put him in a riddle with no answer or a trap with no escape for extra irony points but he wasn't about to stop the little green cockroach from skittling away.  but of course, riddlers ego got in the way; he just HAD to try and best this new batman, no matter how much he scared the shit out of riddler he just HAD to try. and of course, pride comes before downfall. 

The batman who laughs helpfully provided riddler with some rope to help break his fall. 

Harley Quinn

some part of her was happy to have joker back. he was different, scarier but she was used to the abuse. what she wasn't used to were all the kids. she recognised damian wayne but didn't quite put the pieces together to realise it was bruce under there. she thought maybe he was just a random casualty . she tried hard to look after the kids but they act like animals rather than humans, there was nothing she could do.As time went on she found it harder and harder to sit at the right hand of this clown prince of horrors. harley has always been along for the ride, but how are you supposed make the whole world laugh if everyone in it is dead? i dont know what happens to harley in this world. either she leaves and much like joker, the batman who laughs fails to notice, shes killed by him because he was bored or she does when the world is destroyed by barbatos. either way, no happy endings here. 

Thanks for this incredibly depressing ask Ghostly T-T

im kidding, im kidding it was fun! it makes me wish i knew what the everloving FUCK was going on with this verse so i could enjoy it properly. the only comic store i know of has been closed since like march of last year and i don't know what im looking for on amazon to actually order them. i have 1 issue of nth metal but it was interesting enough that i want the collection.

if anyone knows what the collection is actually called hmu bc i wanna buy it. 

yes i could read it online but i like owning the hard copies. 

got something you wana talk about? send me an ask or a dm!💜💙🧡💛💚❤️

[nxrthmizu]

hii!! im absolutely new to your works and blog, but your haikyuu!! light festival event caught my eye!! i shall start binging around now, but may i request an Oikawa Tooru with a 14 and 21? im pretty dedicated with the things i like and i have a tendecy to love overworking, hihi; and i find it nice when ppl rely on me. i also like playing guitar and singing, even if im not the best at it. i hope its alright? i shall be your fan now 🤩 congrats on the 700! 💗

| Sun and Moon of Seijoh | OIkawa Tooru 

»»——⍟——««

prompt | #14- Celestial 

pairing | Oikawa Tooru x Reader 

words | 1.2k 

author’s note | This piece might seem a little disconnected because I didn’t finish it in one write. Enjoy~ 

»»——⍟——««

He was charming, cheerful and bright-eyed; the sun. He gave out light to everyone around him, pushing the people around him to their best, giving them their full potential. You were quiet, sharp and gentler; the moon. You guided the people around you, encouraging them and giving them advice, the little push they needed to make the journey. 

Together, the two of you were the Sun and Moon of Seijoh. 

It wasn’t uncommmon to hear teachers conversing about how well you and Oikawa would look together. The two of you had traits that complimented each other like colours on opposite ends of the spectrum. 

Both of you were determined, hard-working, and people relied on you, as you were both captains of your respective volleyball teams. Oikawa Tooru was the captain of Seijoh’s boys’ volleyball team, and you were the captain of Seijoh’s girls’ volleyball team. 

“Oikawa and L/N tied again for the highest test score.” You overheard one of the teachers say. The two of you were in the same advanced class for the third year in a row, adding to the irony of the whole situation between you and the hazel-haired boy. 

“Oikawa.” You deadpanned, slamming the boys’ gym door open. Iwaizumi had texted you at 8pm, telling you to drag Oikawa home before you left. It wasn’t unusual for both of you to stay at school for longer times, as you were both perfecting your volleyball skills for the next tournament. “Go home.” 

“You’re saying that like you didn’t stay just as late as I did!” He whined, landing just as his jump float serve slammed against the other side of the court. 

He did have a point, so you shrugged. “I’m going home now. So should you.” 

“Fine, fine, I’m coming, L/N-chan.” He pouted, picking up the balls that he had served. “Give me a moment, I’m going to change.” 

You nodded. “Hurry up!” 

»»——⍟——««

“We have another test tomorrow.” He complained, his bag slung over his shoulder as the two of you strolled down the street. Yellow street lights lit your way home like spotlights on a runway. “Have you studied, Y/N-chan?” 

“Yes.” You replied, looking up at him. “Need me to teach you the chapter?” 

You could’ve sworn there were stars in his eyes. “You’d be willing to teach me?” He said. 

“Yes. As long as you buy me some onigiri from the convenience store, I will. Oh, and if you give me all your milk bread for one week.” You smiled, teasing him a little. Unlike what other students in your year thought, you were not as cold as they made you out to be. You were just another ordinary girl, after all. 

“Y/N-chan!” 

»»——⍟——««

He ended up buying you two packets of milk bread and an onigiri, which satisfied you. You greeted his mother as you made your way up to his room, grateful that you had brought your textbook with you. 

He’s home, you texted Iwaizumi. We’re studying for tomorrow’s test. Want to come over? 

“Who are you texting, Y/N-chan? There can’t possibly be another guy more important than me!” Oikawa whined at the lack of attention. 

“I asked Iwaizumi to come over.” You told him patiently, setting your phone down. “I could ask Makki and Mattsun too, but I think they’re already at Makki’s.” 

Oikawa grumbled. “You invited Iwa-chan to my house without telling me? And no, Makki and Mattsun won’t answer you because they’re probably too busy doing something else.” 

You raised an eyebrow. “Oh.” Makki and Mattsun had started dating a little over a year ago, and you had to admit, you weren’t surprised. The girls’ team had started a couple bets about when they would get together, and you had lost twenty bucks. A real pity they couldn’t have waited another week to get together, really. 

“Teach me, Y/N-chaaann~” 

»»——⍟——««

His eyes were the mixture of hazel and the hue of the golden sun. His hair was a shade of light brown, fluffy and poofy like a cloud. 

Your eyes were the colour of the midnight sky, a dark blue that was only a shade away from black. Your hair was a silky ash colour, smooth and straight, normally tied up in a sensible pony tail. 

Oikawa started noticing how contrasting the traits between the two of you were in second year, when he saw your spike in a game. He had grinned widely when you told him in third year that you were named the ace of Seijoh’s girls’ team, congratulating you on your ace and captain position. 

He secretly loved the whole 'Sun and Moon of Seijoh' thing, because it made him feel like it was the two of you against the world.

The two of you, and the broad, endless horizons of the universe.

»»——⍟——««

Neither of your teams made it to the nationals. You had comforted your team with a brave smile, congratulating everyone on their hard work. The last game was lost at 31-33, and you knew that your vice-captain, libero, and second-year middle blocker were all blaming themselves for the defeat. Actually, the whole team was blaming themselves for the defeat. It had been a close match.

"We all did our best." You said with a soft smile. "And we had fun. That's all that matters, right?"

Your heart clenched as you fully realised it was your last game with the team you had come to love. Teary eyes looked up to meet yours, and you found yourself enveloped in a tight hug, wrapped in the arms of your teammates. "We'll win next year, captain."

"I'm sure you will."

Across the gym, you caught Oikawa's eyes. Tears brimmed on the edge of his hazel-gold eyes, but you shot him a smile.

Sometimes, the sun and moon get hidden behind clouds. But that doesn't mean they don't shine- They're just waiting for their chance to shower the world in light again.

"It's over, huh." Oikawa murmured to you after the two of you dropped Iwaizumi off. The streets seemed exceptionally gloomy that night- It was as if the world was mourning your defeat, too.

You turned to look at him, steel in your eyes. "It's never over." You glanced at the cloudy night sky. "Do you see the moon?"

He shook his head, eyebrows raised in confusion.

"You don't see it. You can't see the moon, but does that mean it's not there? No." You jabbed a finger at his chest. "The moon is not always seen, but it's always there. Don't you ever dare give up, Oikawa Tooru."

Oikawa's eyes followed your finger to where it was, prodding at the centre of his chest. You looked extra angry, your midnight blue eyes ablaze with determination.

"The sun of Seijoh cannot give up."

He smiled as he prepared himself for the serve, proudly wearing his Argentinian team jersey. The familiar woosh of the ball into the air rang in his ears, followed by the slap of his serve across the court.

"No matter what happens, the sun will rise again." You said. "Don't ever give up, Tooru."

A whistle signalled that he had just landed a service ace. Glancing into the crowd, Oikawa smiled softly to himself. He knew there was no way he could spot and identify you in the sea of over a million people, but...

The moon is not always seen, but it's always there.

»»——⍟——««

for some reason I feel very poetic today-

»»——⍟——««

[gaylonelydyke]

if it’s not too late, 12 for episodes and ships, and 17!

its never too late! thankyou for the ask 🥰 oo damn this is gonna be a hefty one, just to prepare you this is gonna be long 😅😅😅

spoiler alert for my friends who are finishing up season 2 rn, be careful if you look at my top five episodes, pay attention the the episode numbers, i will put [ ] in bold at the beginning and end of spoilers!

12. Top 5 ships

5. faith x myself because have you seen faith? shes such a babe! spare consensual kiss maam?

4. willow x oz, i dont know if this is an unpopular or not but i feel like if the 90s had been more accepting of term then willow wouldve been bisexual, but like even now tv shows will rarely let characters say that word :( but anyway i love them! theyre both quirky and kinda awkward but its such a sweet relationship and you really see how they go from awkward crushes to an actual deep relationship, oz is one of my favourite characters too what a dude!

3. giles x jenny, mlmxwlw solidarity in this bisexual couple! there is no an ounce of straight between them and i love it, i love their dynamic, i love that giles *respects women* (im staring daggers at xander rn), also the original girlboss x malewife couple askdjaksjhd

2. drusilla x spike, these two!!!!!! once again a bisexual couple with zero straight between them, the vibes are off the charts. sexy vampires, goth x punk love, i just love them man, and their relationship is so interesting to delve into. like theyre vampires, theyre soulless and yet they have a capacity for love, they care deeply for eachother, theyre so tender towards eachother in season 2 in the way they take turns to care for one another, also drusilla picking spike up with one hand made me gay and thats on that

1. willow x tara!!!!! lesbians man lesbians! they have a beautiful relationship, until a certain point wink wink, they feel like a perfect match, willows become more outgoing due to buffy and xander snd having a proper group of friends, so its cool to see her as the more outgoing independant one in the relationship, and tara is such a honey 🥺 the biggest sweetheart in the world what a babe!!!! also like how groundbreaking was their relationship? as a queer couple, they had p much the dame amount of screentime as a aueer relationship today! and willow says the word lesbian so many times and is always making gay jokes which is something shows today are too scared to do, its honestly refreshing which is weird for a show in the 90/00s

12. Top 5 episodes

this is so hard because its such a damn good show so i had to rlly be picky about this but here we go

5. 6x22 ‘grave’- i watched buffy for the first time last year at work coz i worked with one other person just packing shit, and THIS was the episode that made us cry infront of eachother. the scene with willow and xander at the end is one of my all time favourite scenes and like legit we were watching and we starting going like ha.. this is so sad Q_Q and we looked at eachother and we were both crying akdjdjsjdhs its SO GOOD, like this is a friendship ive been so invested in and [seeing xander be able to pull her back from that dark place was so heart wrenching and amazing god its so good]

4. 3x12 ‘helpless’ - im finishing up s2 in my rewatch rn so i havent rewatched this one to double check but i remember loving it man. buffys father daughter relationship with giles is my favourite of the whole show they make my heart ache, so i love that this is an episode that really shows you how dedicated giles is to her, [its the breaking point where he finally disregards the fact that hes a watcher and acts as her father once and for all, its a turning point for their relationship where he is finally embracing the fact that shes like a daughter to him and i just love to see it Q_Q get you a dad who will leave his lifes calling for you]

3. 4x22 ‘restless’ - season 4 is interesting coz it has really good episodes and them some gd awful ones 😂😂 but this one just blew me away, i love a good character study episode and this is THE SHIT! its so weird and creepy but in the most perfect way, its not on the nose its so subtle, it feels like an uncanny valley version of buffy almost, i like that they finished the season first and then took this episode to do something out of the box and different i feel like it lets them fully explore this idea without the pressure of needing plot included. [also the cheese man is iconic. dont however like xander being all nasty with willow and tara but whats new there man]

2. 1x12 ‘The Prophecy Girl’ - for my first watch of buffy i wasnt that into the first season, like i enjoyed it but i didnt think it was anything super special? but this episode changed EVERYTHING for me. up until now buffy had been fun, witty, charming, but not anything new atleast for me, maybe in the 90s it was but right now its your average teen supernatural show. but this episode!!!! the emotion! buffy facing her death, her speech about how shes just 16 and shes scared and she doesnt want to die, that is what i wanna see!! its heartbreaking and it made me cry, and then it gives us the wonderful moment of giles trying to take her place and buffy realising that she has to be the one to do it, man its so good! basically anything with buffy and giles being a duo is gonna make it an automatic yes from me and this is indeed the case for this episode, i just love that the show remembers that shes a child! shes not brave all the time, shes not strong all the time, shes just doing her best and sometimes its overwhelming, 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 i bow to this episode

1. 2x17 ‘passion’ - i know i just sang praises about prophecy girl but THIS EPISODE IS THE SHIT, the best episode full stop. i wont accept any argument. angel is probably my favourite big bad, its so funny to see plain bread, mopey brooding angel become this charismatic, funny, poetic, blood thirsty angelus, hes everything i want in a villain and in this episode he delivers! rip jenny tho love her. i think the tension built around angel is so good, because of his drawings and notes left around, every scene youre worrying like is he here now? are they safe or what? its so tense! and also it is me and im a slag for buffy x giles father daughter moments and this episode fucking delivers! giles discovering jennys dead body is probably one of the best scenes on the show, the dramatic irony is heAVY, we know jenny is dead, we know that these flowers arent from her, but giles is so so happy, and i want to see him happy but you just know somehing horrific is about to happen and damn does it. its a masterpiece! i love jenny and giles so much it is so sad, but also the fact that it gave us that scene makes me almmmoost ok with it? i also love the moment where giles breaks down in buffys arms, hes been there for her and now shes returning the favour and hes accepting it i just 😭😭😭 also on a different note, angels narration of this episode is amazing! it gives us great insight to who he is as “evil angel” and like even though hes awful i was also kind of rooting for him coz hes just such a great villain

sorry this is so long lmao, last question!

17. Which characer do you wish had less of a focus on them in the show?

i dont wanna get yelled at butttttt i dont like the amount of focus on dawn. i think it makes sense for the her first season considering the story arc but that season really does double down its focus onto dawn and buffy and it barely leaves room for anyone else to have a storyline, it keeps the episodes super depressing too its like a constant level of just sadness the whole time because we’re so stuck in THEIR arc, theres no room to balance it out and have a breather, some people might like that its more serious but i really really didnt like, i love episodes like prophecy girl where it is campy and brings the more emotional notes in when the time comes, but dawns whole arc is just constantly depressing the whole time i just hate it, and also just shes not a character i felt i could connect to because of how suddenly shes introduced, so its weird to have her SO focused on in the first half of that season coz we dont know her yet so i feel like the emotional moments dont land the way that they should? basically they shouldve eased us into dawn or introduced her differently and maybe i would like her enough to want the focus on her but i really just dont

adksjakjshd apologies for the essay this is, thanks for the ask!

[dilsdoes]

dont reblog

how do i feel about what i have been through. ive been through a lot, but how do i feel.

i am so incredibly angry at j for taking away so much of my childhood. im so confused because we were both kids, the same age, but she ruined me so much. im so scared of being vulnerable and trusting someone to take care of me because i just remember giving so much over and over and over and never expecting anything in return, because thats not why i gave, never getting anything back anyway. id give vulnerability and get nothing back. shed ditch me all the time, shed beg me to do things with her for support and then when i asked her to do the same she ditched.

i dont know if ill ever forgive my dad for all the broken promises. i will never forget how scared i was watching him slam on our door demanding my mother come out so his family could "come see his witch of an ex wife" while i stood, 10 years old and terrified, and they asked him to stop. ill never forget how he hit me hard enough i fell to the ground and then acted like it didnt make sense that i was upset. it doesnt make sense why hed be confused why i wouldnt want to be alone with him when hes hit me and my mom and threatened to hit me before. ill never forgive him for refusing to pay to feed me, just to make my mother mad, ill never forgive him for accepting an invitation i had to fucking beg for, to bend the rules for him, only for him to not show. ill never fucking forgive him for forcing me to sit all night next to an empty fucking chair. i hate him so much and i hate how much everyone treats me like im crazy for hating him when he hates my mother so much more than he loves me. he doesnt make any sense and he knows it and i hate him. i hate him so much. he used to be my dad. he used to be my fucking dad.

im hungry. we have no food, although well do groceries tomorrow. we often have no or very little food, and even less that i can eat. i feel guilty for wanting things, even food, and i feel disgusting for being guilty. i feel disgusting for being anything at all most days. i wish i was a robot so id never let anyone down. i wish i never needed anything, not water or words, and i could just be what everyone needed. i wish i was perfect so people would stop being mad, so i would stop hurting people, so people would stop being hurt. i hate being human and having needs because i cant do what everyone wants. i hate myself so much, i wish i was something better. i wish i was a perpetual motion machine, whirring away, pretty and clean, i wish i was everything and nothing at all, i wish i was huge and impossibly small.

sometimes i get scared that im not being me withtb my girlfriend, but i dont know who i am. like ill edit a text 3 times before sending it but i do it immediately without noticing. i do this on tiktok and twitter too. i do it everywhere. its so hard to let my guard down when people never know its up.

i feel disgusting. i dont care that its not the right feeling, i feel disgusting and repulsive and wrong all the time, and i know it doesnt make sense but i feel like the most repulsive thing in the world, a pitiful thing, a sorry thing, everyone thinks im so naive and stupid and at this point its probably because i am. im so repulsive. i wish i could scoop my insides out so i dont have to be in here anymore. i wish i could just crack my ribs open and let all of me out, like those spreaders they use for open heart surgery, like an angel maker, i feel so horrible and awful, i just feel wrong all the time and i hate myself so much. i hate myself so fucking much. what am i? what am i? sometimes i hate myself so much i want to throw up because its the closest i can get to scooping my insides out. i wish i could be someone else. i wish i was perfect. i wish i was perfect. i wish so much and every day that i was perfect in every way just so that i could stop wanting wrong things all the time. i hate myself so much. its impossible to be perfect, but i have to be. i have to be. i have to be. i have to be.

i almost died several times in my life. i didnt let myself think about how much i was going through when i was hospitalized. i remember a nurse asked me how i was doing and i said fine, and she asked if i was sure because id said i was fine every day since i came here and i said yes and she said well, a few days ago you tried to kill yourself, and i said, without a hint of irony, "yeah but that was days ago. its passed now." and i just. god i almost died. i could have died. i swallowed 28 pills with the intent of just. something. anything. i just needed some help. i needed help so fucking bad, amd i didnt know what i needed. and my mother watched me pop them out and asked my if i was going to kill myself because she was saying something i didnt like and i just needed some fucking help. i didnt know what but everything was always falling apart and i needed some fucking help. i needed some fucking help. i needed so much help. i got it but i look back at all the ways i asked for help over and over and over again and just said "i need help. i dont know what to do but i tried to swallow a handful of pills. i dont know what to do but i think im depressed. i dont know what to do but i feel like a failure at all times" and i was just told i was overreacting. every feeling is an overreaction. "what am i supposed to do about it?" im hungry, im tired, im hurting, im anxious, "what am i supposed to do about it?" jesus christ i dont fucking know, im 16 and youre 60, please god just help me. just listen to me, just hear the words im saying and dont tell me im lying, just believe me when i say im in pain.

i dont know when im in pain anymore. i cant trust anything unless someone else confirms it. i hate it when people make jokes questioning the reality of something when im specifically asking if its true. i just want things to exist. like theyre not real if its just me. i dont count. i dont matter. my opinion isnt worth shit. please. please give me this. please help me. i feel pain and i just live with it until it stops and then i realise i was in pain. because its gone. once my mom tried to convince me to run on a broken ankle. i dont feel real on my own and im trying so hard to but god almighty its so hard when im still surrounded by people who tell me im wrong.