#i read the fic with zero context
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
i read a really good fic about the avengers last week and now I think I like marvel?????
#i read the fic with zero context#like i juts pretended it was original fiction because ive only seen the spiderman movies#and it was. SO GOOD#ive been converted#it was good enough for me to actually watch avengers and then thor ragnarok and then watch the loki show and now i think I like marvel?????#and now im going to watch the REST of the thor movies#ive been missing out for so long???#and THERES SO MUCH STUFF HOLY im like SWIMMING in content#and like everyone dunks on marvel so I never really checked it out but like???? its pretty good??????? like some writing choices sucked#*cough cough making loki fall in love with a girl version of himself#but like#aside from that its PRETTY GOOD????
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
currently have part 2 to my fic sitting in my drafts and struggling to close it out because i'm writing a wolverine/reader fic that i accidentally became obsessed with after writing for him in part 1
the question is do i move forward with the separate fic or does Dancing On My Own become a Reader/Gambit/Wolverine triangle, whoops
#shouting into the void#because im completely fuckin lost lol#wolverine x reader#gambit x reader#sorry for the zero context if you haven't read that one random fic i posted lol
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
the chances of the people seeing this aren't super likely so this is highly inefficient but i'm too afraid to approach people personally…. yet i've been burning with the need to express my gratitude for the tags i've received individually somehow and figured, i could do it the way i do best. in the tags 😅
(sorted by most recent) (i capped the limit hard here) (some ✂️✂️ had to be done 😔) (i still like this format a lot though) (might do this again in the future idk would people like that??) (i hope it's not mortifying for anyone……..)
it's sorta the way i like it, indirect and unimposing, even if it's kinda. wieldy. but it's just on my blog so anything goes right? although in saying that, i am open to being imposed on. like if someone wants to talk about aci or something, like other fic?? i'm a big fic fiend. or anything else lol not sure what else you'd wanna chat about since so much of the stuff i've put out is just. about fic. but hey, if you're a person i don't mind being approached :>
(lol the way i've made this like a *throws out a bunch of paper slips* find your's 🎉) (might be obnoxious hm) (sorry...) (find your's if you want though 🫡)
#i said a thing#@glaciesdraco i'm so glad someone is appreciating the brilliance of my shitpost yes i went so hard on that and it's you too??#i enjoy your ramblings and hcs a lot (if that one gift art based on your hcs wasn't telling) i hope my indirect appreciation can reach you#two years ago for a gift exchange i had [get them drunk] as one of the things on my wishlist and linked your post with it because they're <#@miyukiwynter your tag was fun and cute it made me smile :) oh no the boy!#@spooky-sordid your enthusiasm for the 🥥 post despite zero context is so fun to me i'm happy my niche things connect with you like that :]#@scrambledshizaya oops! all aci posts with even more on the way sorry it's all i got#the energy of your tags is very fun though i hope to bring a little pain with the 📸⚠️ comp and loverboy cringe is so izaya indeed#@gay-deer your all caps enthusiasm is so so sweet to me thank you for loving them!! also you bring fun things to my dash so thanks for that#@vi-138 you haven't said anything so i hope you don't mind.... i've seen you in my notifs a few times and i'm appreciating it very much :>#@fweamy i like your energy and omg you like the way i draw them?? no wayyy i'm so flattered you like my portrayal of them? that's such high#this makes me feel better about my style like actually since i spend a looooot a lotta time on every little thing so it can appeal to me#and i'm not confident at all but i do try very hard to achieve aspects of how i like to see them so i'm glad it seems to resonate with you#i draw all too slowly but you shall be in my thoughts as i fight to deliver more of these scrunkly scrimbos 🫡#@zamtik you think it's awesome? :0 wow thanks! also thanks for appreciating the 🎀🔪 i made that not a lot of people acknowledge heh#@gay4and2high i like that you acknowledged the content of the fic i love the content of this fic i need to acknowledge it so bad 🗣️#@stupidusernamepolicy idk if you meant for your words to read like this but i'm still so so flattered by the tags you left on that post 🥺🥺#idk what you actually think of the fic so i can literally only imagine your enthusiasm for it but i think i feel some of it in those tags 🧠#and you seem to really like the post in particular so?? thank you c:#@whamss no way are you sure you love my art?? thank you i'm glad you find them cute and see so much personality in them too??#you pointed out shizuo in particular !! yesss i slaved away soooo tirelessly on him (except i was very tired) i'm glad he is appreciated#his face... it needed to convey so much...... sad puppy dog look#the humouring of izaya's antics that soften him in light bemusement “mouth slightly open probably as close to a smile as it would ever get”#and thank you for enjoying loverboy cringe with me he is exactly that#@soultiio thank youuu i appreciate this sorta connection we have going on where we communicate through tags a little <3#i like the comments your affection for the boys is very sweet thank you#@pennyloni thanks for the obligatory shizaya reblog#@pineapplething hihi!!!#@demon-of-ikebukuro i take joy in all the appreciation for the comm :> also you have a fic i'd like to try someday bc it looks interesting!#@churroful you haven't said much since but thanks for finding the 🎀🔪 sexy >:D i appreciate you in my notifs and i hope you enjoyed aci!!
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
Reading fics with friends is fun because they can mispronounce words and you can correct them in-character
(it's from @kayzero 's fic again yeah. I know It's just that... it lives rent free in my head. sorry it will happen again)
#also don't ask me for too much context on the second one we were reading through one of zero's notes and my friend just improved#by adding autism as one of humanity's virtues#and the thought was just so funny#like I guess we can forgive all these awful things but draw the line at being neurotypical??? help#okay but seriously kay speaking directly to you would you rather I just send these to you whenever I make things#like send the post on priv instead of tagging on the post itself? since one can only do it directly on the text here#I'd still link the fic on the caption but that way it'd look more neat#zero escape#fanfic#zwg#akane kurashiki
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
both zero-sum and the litany of love and loss were concepts that possessed me and would not not get out of my head until i wrote them but i have wastly different feelings about both of these stories despite loving them equally
#I love both of these works but I hated writing litany of love and loss. does that make sense#both of these pieces have the same amount of love and dedication#arguable skill-wise and imagery-wise a litany of love and loss is better#like running for fun vs running away from a zombie horde or something#technically you are doing the same thing. you’re probably even running faster with the zombie horde#but the context of that activity is endlessly different#…there’s been a weird few days we’re people have been commenting on zero sum#which makes me really really happy#but also nostalgic for it. I loved the story and writing it and interacting with people while writing it#everything that came after it has been a much different much less satisfying experience#in other news the path to paradise is both more fun and more interesting than both of the above stories#but I fear the fact that so few people are reading it takes away some of that external validation fun#now it’s all internal validation. lol. and the 3 really nice people who read and comment#we are honestly always our own worst enemies#I don’t compare my writing against other peoples (<- is lying)#but competing against myself is always a problem#just that weird feeling like despite the fact that you’ve grown and hopefully improved as a writer#there are some stories and concepts people are going to feel captured by and some that aren’t#tbh I know most fic readers don’t come into it being like ‘what is the most well written or interesting piece?’#I tout zero sum game but a large proportion of people reading it do it only because it’s exclusively dkbk#which I have my own feelings about. mostly negative.#anyway…. I’m so thankful for people#for still reading or caring about anything I’m writing…#…..eh#anyway does anyone else feel like this#or am I just thinking too much about everything all the time#haha#anyway I’m being sentimental because once again I am#night shift is…. yeah
5 notes
·
View notes
Note
hey man i hope you know you've altered my brain, every time i scroll through netflix i see the signal, or really any astronaut related thing, and im immediately just "prospect is that prospect?? pedro that you?" and i don't even go here. diagnosed with prospect (adjacent) disorder do i quality for financial compensation? in all seriousness though i am getting curious and i might watch
no you're fully entitled to financial compensation i'll have my people call your people 😔
My first watch was me going "Raider Joel" every time Pedro appeared and now somewhere in the last few months it's shifted to me going "Apocalypse Ezra" every time I see Joel it's BAD
also its become a source of nonsensical memes
It's on Youtube movies for free yknow just saying for no particular reason and it's also on Tubi last I checked and yknow i think it's going to Amazon again but that's a paid for streaming and it's free elsewhere so yknow just for anyone who may wanna watch sdkghsdgh
#DIAGNOSED WITH PROSPECT ADJACENT DISORDER SO REAL !!!#you are either patient zero or adjacently disorder diagnosed and there is no in between because in both scenarios the media is watched 😔#Lissa (sotvtaughtmehowtofeel) is patient zero for me#i wanted to read her fic so badly i watched the movie for context#10/10 idea skhdghsdg#pxper-riings#asks
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
should i watch leverage. be honest
#am sick in bed and have nothing else to do#plus i did just read a fic about the main ot3 with zero context#so. be honest#lu.txt
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
*sees interesting fic*: Oh hello
*fic describes female character we know next to nothing about as stupid/arrogant/a huge bitch*: aaaand goodbye!
#SO frustrating!#I could ignore it at first because I had almost zero investment in those characters#(they are both dead before the show even starts and barely get fleshed out)#but it’s so common it’s genuinely uncomfortable#like. my GOD#NO nuance. NO benefit of the doubt#we have a few vague/extremely broad strokes snippets of information about a handful of things they did#stripped of all details and context#which is it’s own issue tbh#but like. at least the show doesn’t demonize them for the sake of the male characters????#exhausting#vagueposting because i don’t want to start discourse in a fandom I’m lurking in the fringes of#i’d say something like ‘if you know you know’ but lets be honest fandom sexism is fucking EVERYWHERE#but yeah anyway my new fic red flag is either of these two characters being made ‘the bad guy’#i’m not opposed to reading where they were complicated or not always good or even on selfishly gray in their morals#what little we DO know isn’t emtirely flattering and could be read in a lot of different directions#but I don’t think their character depths were on the forefront of the authors’ minds 99% of the time#and if you’re going to give their (male) relative who has done a BUNCH of Fucked Up Shit excuses?#or at least treat his laundry list of character flaws with more sympathy/understanding/positivity?#do. the same. for them.#ok rant over. goodnight tristate area
0 notes
Text
First Sentences - Fic Author Tag Game
Rules: post the first sentence of your last ten fics. If you haven’t written ten fics, share as many first sentences as you have.
I’m tagging myself idgaf, nothing but the first is posted so no other links.
1. Moonlight and Roses: Even past the constant, painful din of the hospital, Connor recognizes the metronome of clacking down the hall.
I don’t mind it. I can’t remember why I wrote the first scene in present tense though.
2. I Like Dogs part two, TBD: When his new ‘partner’ came out of his house mercifully shortly, Gavin was staring, incredulous.
Lil sneak peek that may or may not change. ;3
3. Next time we’ll dance slow (working title): “Connor—” came a low hiss from behind, though it went ignored.
Eh it’s fine ig. Another teaser.
4. More Than One Emergency Exit: One minute Connor was scanning over the crowd, more comfortable feeling like a bodyguard than the fifth representative cast over a sea of his people.
This is worded a little awkwardly and it’ll likely change before I publish this oneshot.
5. Detroit’s Shitty Weather has Upsides, Too (working title): “I think he’s sort of like a cat,” Tina said as she and Gavin stood at a table in the break room, casually leaning on its surface and staring at the back of Nines’ head across the bullpen like teenagers in the food court at the mall.
I took this prompt and another one from someplace and smashed them together to do another oneshot I should do a final edit for and post :P
6. Why do Chihuahuas bite? : Nines was not one to waste words.
Hahaha amazing! This is for another oneshot that’s basically done I have posted nothing but I have a BACKLOG.
7. Revenge: [MISSION PARAMETERS: ISOLATE AND ELIMINATE DT. GAVIN REED] loading... loading... [MISSION PARAMETERS: ISOLATE AND ELIMINATE DT. GAVIN REED] accepted.
This is the longfic I was working on before ILD, I restarted this thing three times with different first chapters, I lost my mind. I have like 300k words of this story though in three structured parts. Almost entirely out of order. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
8. Replace: Strolling into CyberLife Tower like he owned the place (which hadn’t been even tangentially true for more than a decade now), Gavin Reed quickly caught sight of the small gathering of people across the vast lobby that was the open space of the ground floor.
This is the start of part two of that longfic, a scene I actually like. Yes this includes the halfbrothers headcanon.
9. Revenge (Connor POV, TBD): Connor was not one to be known as ‘unapologetic’ generally, but in this case it suited him fine.
So I did have a shorter parallel fic planned to run alongside Revenge. Same story but Revenge follows Nines and Gavin. This follows Connor, Hank, and Markus. I realise Connor as ‘apologetic’ could raise questions, especially since this is a post game fic. I maintain this opening line is actually totally based considering what comes after. (Heads up the third part ‘Reclaim’ doesn’t have an official first scene/chapter. Just rough drafted scenes and an outline. That’s why it’s not on here)
10. Hm well I could do an old fic I haven’t touched in years for a fandom I’m not in anymore and don’t want to be… or an NSFW fic drabble…
I’m doing neither you get nine that’s it.
Not tagging anyone else either, but please do if you write and you see this.
#fanfic#my writing#god rereading some stuff I’ve Improved oh my god#some of these are worth polishing and posting and some maybe should go in the bin#I started out writing a LOT more reed900#but a lot of the earlier stuff is playing around with situations and ideas from fics I read and liked instead of my own ideas#I found one from 2020 I have ZERO recollection of writing and there’s just no context of wtf is happening and it Bad#like did I get really high and write it? did I copy it from somewhere to save it???? wtf even is this??????#anyway if there’s anything I like better about Revenge than ILD it’s Sixty#he’s a little chaotic pansexual aromantic bastard but the thing is he’s also usually RIGHT ACTUALLY#whereas Sixty in ILD is… well#you’ll see#each has one OFC each and I love Mercy but I miss Moss
1 note
·
View note
Text
Promise
Pairing(s): Knight!Natasha Romanoff x Princess!Reader
Summary: The first time you patch up an injured Natasha.
Word Count: 1.8k
Warnings: Descriptions of wounds | Terribly written medical talk | Mentions of violence and knives
Authors Note: This is another mini-oneshot to my fic “Soulmates”. I’d recommend reading that one before this for context to be able to grasp the storyline!
Mini-oneshots: Forever
(Takes place around 17 years old)
You entered the castle with your mother at your side. You had just finished sitting in on a meeting that your parents had attended with some of neighboring kingdoms.
With you finally becoming of age to understand at least the majority of what they were discussing, your mother and father wanted you to get some first hand experience at helping to make important decisions.
As you talked you rounded the corner to the hallway that held the library where you'd planned to get in some studying, but the words coming out of your mother's mouth had faded to the back of your mind once you saw Yelena rushing towards you.
She looked frantic, but you noticed how she toned it down to a more presentable manner after laying eyes on the Queen beside you.
Your eyebrows furrowed seeing her approach you as though she were on a mission, and your mother had now stopped talking realizing that you were no longer paying attention.
"Hey, Yelena. Is everything okay?" you greeted the blonde.
Yelena looked between the two of you before answering, "Yeah. Yeah, I just needed you for...something...real quick."
Your mother cleared her throat to get your attention, "I'm going to go find your father. Don't forget to look over the information from today, okay honey?"
"Of course." you nodded your head in understanding, "I'll see you later." you said before she excused herself.
You turned back to the blonde with a now more concerned look, "What's going on? What's wrong?" you asked.
She almost struggled to find an answer before responding, "I think it's better for you to just see for yourself..." Yelena trailed off as she grabbed your wrist into her hand and led you through the hallways.
The two of you ended up in front of your bedroom door which confused you even more as she pulled you inside and quickly shut the door behind you, but your heart dropped at the sight in front of you when you turned around.
Natasha was sat on your bed looking as if she'd just been in a fight.
A bad one at that.
Her face was scuffed with dirt, her knuckles were bloodied and bruised, but that wasn't even the worst of it. The worst part was the area on her shoulder that her hand was clutching to stop it from bleeding, but you could see it clearly wasn't doing a very good job.
"I tried to take her to the infirmary, but she wouldn't go. She told me to bring her to you, but one of the maids said that you weren't here so I had to go find you." Yelena explained.
"Oh my god, Nat. What happened?" you asked as you rushed to your girlfriend’s side.
Your eyes zeroed in on the open wound on her shoulder. Her breath hitched when you moved her hand out of the way to get a better look. You muttered an apology before putting her hand back and quickly grabbing a hand towel from your closet.
"You should see the other guys." the redhead chuckled but her smile was replaced with a wince when you moved her hand again to use the towel to apply pressure instead.
Natasha knew you didn't find her joke very funny based on the glare you sent her way.
"She got into a fight with some thieves down at the docks. I told her it wasn't a good idea, but she wouldn't listen and now here we are." Yelena said.
This time it was Natasha's turn to glare at her sister for ratting her out, but Yelena didn't pay any mind to the look she was given.
"Jesus christ," you mumbled. "And you decided you wanted to bleed out on my bed right now instead of in the infirmary with a doctor because?"
The redhead winced again when you shifted to be able to inspect the rest of her body for any other injuries, "I thought you would be able to treat it. Didn't your parents make you take first aid lessons from the doctor a few years ago? You know, for your studies?"
"Yes, but the doctor at the infirmary is a professional." you counteracted. "They would do a much better job than I would at making sure this doesn't get infected."
"Please, Y/n." Natasha said, "I could get in so much trouble if my commander found out I was getting into fights before I even finished my training."
You sighed as you thought for a moment. She's obviously set on not going to the doctor, and you have to do something soon to stop it from getting worse so you really had no choice.
As you stood up from the bed the knights eyes followed you, "Take your top off and keep putting pressure on this." you told her before making your way to your bathroom.
Yelena took this as her cue to leave, "I'm gonna go now. I'll come back to check on you in a bit." she said and Natasha nodded, watching her slip through the door and shut it behind her.
After a little struggle the redhead managed to eventually pull her shirt over her head, leaving her in a tank top.
When you returned a moment later you had a clean towel and a first aid kit in hand. You sat back down next to her and removed the dirty towel to begin cleaning her wound.
It wasn’t as bad as it had looked before when you finally got the bleeding to stop. Either way seeing her like this scared you more than you’d let on.
You worked in silence for a while. The only sounds filling the room being the occasional winces and grunts from Natasha when the pain hurts a little more. Each time you mumbled a quick "sorry" before continuing.
"Are you mad at me?" Natasha spoke into the quiet air.
You didn't answer right away which just worried her even more, but when you did it wasn't the answer she was expecting.
"No," you responded, "I'm not mad at you. You just scared me, I mean what were you even thinking?"
“I don’t know,” the redhead said, “I don’t even know if I was thinking. I just…reacted.”
Natasha watched your concentrated face. Sometimes she couldn't help but just stare at it. At this point she had every detail of it memorized like the back of her hand. Which wasn't very helpful when she was currently being scolded by you.
"Did you even have any of your equipment when you decided to pick a fight with them?" you asked.
The young knight shook her head, "No, but I couldn't just watch it happen. There were four of them and one of them had a knife. I had to do something or else people might’ve gotten hurt.”
“People did get hurt, Natasha. You got hurt.”
Natasha hung her head in defeat at your words. “I know.” she said. “I know and I’m sorry for putting you through this. You shouldn’t have to deal with the consequences of my actions. It’s not fair to you.”
You sighed and put down the supplies you were using so you could finally look at her. She held a guilty expression and it made you feel bad for getting upset with her. Your hand came up to her face in an attempt to wipe away some of the dirt with your thumb and fix her messy hair.
“Nat, I get that you just wanted to do the right thing. That’s one of the things I love most about you.” you spoke softly and she gave you a small smile, “I just worry so much. This could’ve been so much worse than some bruises and a knife wound.”
“I got lucky, I know.” she admitted. “Yelena was right I should’ve listened to her and it was stupid of me not to.”
Your gaze went back and forth between both of her eyes. You could’ve gotten lost in her vibrant green orbs if you didn’t still have to finish patching her up before someone came looking for you.
“Just promise me that you’ll be more careful going forward. I don’t want this to ever happen again because I love you too much to be able to handle it if it did.”
Natasha quickly nodded her head, “I promise, and I love you too.”
You leaned in to connect your lips in a soft kiss, needing a reminder that she was here with you and safe.
The redhead obviously didn’t want you to pull away with the way she chased after your lips when you pulled back. You had to press your hand against her chest in order to keep a distance between the two of you.
“As much as I would love to keep going, I think you might need a few stitches to help that shoulder heal.” you said.
Natasha just groaned. She wasn’t even sure if the dissatisfaction she felt was because she had to go through the pain of getting stitches, or because you broke the kiss. The redhead came to the conclusion that it was because of both.
The noise made you giggle and you began sifting through the first aid kit for a needle and some thread. “I’ve only ever practiced this using fruits, so bear with me. I still think you should’ve gone to the doctor instead.”
She just shrugged her uninjured shoulder, “Why would I when I have my own personal nurse right here. And she’s cute too.” Natasha smirked.
You playfully rolled your eyes at that last comment, “Don’t get too ahead of yourself there. I still have to take a look at those knuckles and clean your face up.”
“What? I thought you liked my face.” she pouted.
“You know I do, but I don’t like the fact that it looks as if someone just dragged you through the dirt.”
Natasha scoffed, “For the record, I won, of course. They were after that bakery you love by the boats. The owner said that my next order would be on the house as a thanks for my help, so I think you should be thanking me.” she spoke proudly.
You just stared at your girlfriend in disbelief. As much as you didn’t understand how she was able to laugh and joke about the situation, you appreciated it because it took your mind off of the bad thoughts that clouded your mind.
It reminded you that your Natasha was still there and you couldn’t be more grateful for her.
“Instead of thinking about that you should be figuring out how you’re going to hide this from your parents when they come back from their trip.”
~ end ~
#natasha romanoff#natasha romanoff x reader#natasha marvel#natasha romanoff x fem!reader#natasha romanov#natasha x y/n#natasha x reader#natasha romonova#natasha fanfic#natasha romanoff fanfic#natasha romanoff mcu#natasha angst#natasha alianovna romanova#natasha romanoff x you#natasha romanoff fluff#natasha romanoff angst#natasha romanoff x female
475 notes
·
View notes
Text
Safe (M, cold)
Well, here I am.
It's been a few months since I've written anything in the Elliot's universe, but recently someone asked for a Mark-centric story, and this behemoth is what ensued. Allow me to preface by saying this: Mark is basically my self-insert. This was a very hard story to write. If it sucks, my apologies, hah.
In this, Mark gets sick from Matt and wants to hide it from Elijah. It is significantly more hurt/comfort-slash-sickfic than snzfic, honestly. It starts fairly benign, fluffy, and silly and gets really intense a few pages in. There's a lot of musing, a lot of being inside Mark's head. Idk. I'm not sure if I love it or hate it. This is the first story I've written on here that has taken me a full week to get down, and that I've written and scrapped multiple scenes. It is very long. I really hope you enjoy it if you read it. I'd love to hear your thoughts, but also understand if it's just too long-winded for people to read. Also, there's a real chance of spelling/grammar errors because I just can't look at this monster of a fic any longer, ha.
Anyway. Onward.
CW: Male snz, illness, coughing, contagion. 6K words (almost exactly)
Safe
“Don’t go near them.”
It’s the first thing that hit his ears as he pushed through the swinging kitchen doors; no ‘hi, Mark,’ no, ‘good morning’, just a barked order with absolutely zero context thrown in. Mark whipped his head in the direction of the stern voice of his boss.
“Good morning to you, too,” he muttered, making his way towards the office, where Elijah was stationed, seated, but not doing any computer work. “Who and what are we avoiding?” he asked as he entered.
“The chefs,” Elijah said, moving his chair to let the younger manager in to sit. Mark placed his backpack on the ground, tossed his coat over top of Greyson’s on the second office chair. Waited for further explanation that did not come.
“Okay…” he said, sitting beside his boss. “And we’re not going near them because…?” Mark hadn’t even seen Greyson or Matt yet this morning. The avoiding was being done for him, so what was Elijah’s deal?
Elijah hummed a low disapproval – of what, Mark couldn’t guess – and turned towards his computer. “You’ll see,” he said, shaking his mouse and pulling up an order guide. “Just don’t breathe your boyfriend’s breath, okay?”
Mark colored at the implication; it had only been a couple of months since Matt and Mark had been outed to the restaurant, and the floor manager still wasn’t used to their relationship being casually dropped into conversation. While Elijah busied himself with admin work, Mark stood – time to figure out what the fuck Elijah was on about.
You would think that finding chefs in a kitchen would be a relatively banal business; they’re chefs. They’re cooking. Hardly a moving target – but you’d be wrong. Somehow, the second a front of house manager starts looking for a chef, they become a ghost. They haven’t existed for a thousand years – are you sure this restaurant even has a chef? Mark couldn’t help but ponder how the fuck this hundred-square-foot kitchen somehow became a labyrinthian nightmare the second he wanted to find his boyfriend and his boyfriend’s boss; c’mon, he’d checked the walk-in, the back kitchen, even the dock to see if they were smoking, where the fuck were they?
Maybe Elijah had told the two of them to stay away from Mark and the front of house staff before the floor manager arrived, and they were playing a cat-and-mouse style keep-away game that Mark was unaware of. Or maybe they had gone to the store to pick up chicken or some shit. Either way, Mark was done looking. Elijah said don’t go near them, he thought to himself, heading back towards the front of the kitchen, easy enough.
Of course, it was the moment that Mark decided he was done looking that he quite literally bumped into his boyfriend coming through the kitchen doors.
“Oof,” Matt grunted as they collided. Greyson, not even a step behind him, turned their two-person bump into a three-car-pileup that nearly ended in hot coffee being spilled over all of them.
“Christ, Chef, watch where you’re going,” Matt muttered untangling himself from the middle of the pack.
“Mbe watch where I’mb going?” Greyson asked, wiping his coffee-covered hand on his chef’s pants. “The two of you are practically grinding on each other here and I ndeed to watch where I’mb going?”
Mark clocked it in the chef’s voice immediately – oh. That’s what Elijah meant.
But… he had said both of them… right?
Mark’s head shot up from checking to make sure he didn’t have coffee all over his button-down to look Matt directly in the face – ah. Fuck.
“Hh-! Hh’ITSHZH-ue! HRTSHH-ue!” Matt collapsed to the side to sneeze, seemingly in lieu of responding to Greyson’s dig. “Snf. Fuck off, Chef.” There it was.
“Bless you,” Mark said, attempting not to sound accusatory. Matt just nodded.
“Yeah,” he said, rubbing his nose on the back of his hand. “Sorry.”
Before Mark could respond to the unnecessary apology, Elijah’s voice rang out once again from the office. “Mark, I told you to stay away from them!” The GM stood from his desk chair and strode into the kitchen, physically pushing Mark and Matt away from one another. “Six foot distance,” he said, pointing at both of them. “And you,” he said, addressing his counterpart, “didn’t I tell you to go get some tea and sit the fuck down? We have a big night tonight and I need you conscious, please.”
Greyson rolled his eyes and held up his cup. “I was on mby way to sit when the children starting gyrating on each other in the mbiddle of mby kithcen,” he said. “Don’t put this one on mbe.”
Elijah squeezed the bridge of his nose, frustrated. “First of all,” he said, moving towards Greyson and plucking the cup from his hand, “that isn’t tea.”
“The tea we buy is gross,” Greyson whined. “And I’mb ti – hh! Hh...hhuh-ETSHZH-ue! Snrf, fuck.” Greyson took a moment to collect himself, to wipe his nose on his sleeve and cough – a wet, concerning sound – before finishing his sentence. “I’mb tired,” he said, snatching the cup back.
“Which is why I told you to go sit down,” Elijah said, pressing his palms together and accentuating each word with his hands. “And please do not get my front of house manager sick. I beg, Greyson.”
“Talk to him,” Greyson said, thumbing towards Matt. “I’mb ndot the one with my tongue in Mark’s mbouth twenty-four-seven.”
Mark’s face flamed once again, but Matt, either too sick to care or beyond the embarrassment that was a public relationship in the work place, just rolled his eyes.
“Jealous, much?” Matt asked under his breath. Greyson shot daggers with a glance at his sous, and Mark decided it was probably time to step in.
“Listen, how about I go grab the two of you some medicine from down the street, you both take a rest, and then by the time the meds have kicked in, everyone should be good for service.” Mark looked to Elijah for his blessing; his boss was obviously mulling it over, considering. “And this way, I’ll be out of the metaphorical splash zone,” he finished, which finally prompted a nod from Elijah.
“Okay,” his boss said. “Good idea, Mark. You two – come with me.”
The GM led the two chefs back into the dining room to lay in the back booth while Mark let out a sigh. He was happy, of course, to be out of the fight, to have seemingly calmed everyone down, and to have put his boss’s mind at ease.
Unfortunately, he was fairly sure that – despite Elijah’s eased mind – it was already too late for keeping himself away from the newest restaurant pestilence.
***
“Elijah is going to kill me, Matt.”
“Oh, please, he is ndo – ITSZCHH-ue! ndot,” Matt said, swiping the bottle of Dayquil from Mark’s hand and chugging it. “You gonna sit?” he asked, sniffling and patting the milk crate beside him and shivering. Mark sighed.
“I’m not gonna sit, because Elijah is going to kill me even more if he sees me sitting right next to you.”
“I’mb gonna go out on a limb here and say that’s ndot possible,” Matt said, dissolving at the end of his sentence into a chesty cough.
“You’re coughing now, too?” Mark asked, worry about Elijah’s anger usurped very suddenly by concern for his boyfriend. Mark placed a hand to Matt’s head. “Oh, honey.”
“Sorry,” Matt said, not bothering to move Mark’s hand. Mark huffed out a little laugh.
“Don’t apologize for being sick. Please,” he said, moving his hand to cup Matt’s cheek. “Even if Elijah might kill us both.”
Matt smiled, pressed his face harder into Mark’s hand. “You might ndot get sick. You ndever know,” he muttered, eyes closing as Mark held his head up.
“Matt,” Mark laughed, “I mean… I don’t think that’s, uh, possible after last night.” Matt’s eyes blinked open at the mention of it, and a little smile flitted across his lips.
The apartment had been quiet.
“Matt?” Mark called as he stepped inside. “Babe, are you home?”
He strained his ears; the shower was on. Mark had an idea.
He tiptoed across the cold apartment floor, quietly stripping as he went; by the time he got to the bathroom door, he was nude as the day he was born. The bathroom door wasn’t closed all the way, so he pushed inside silently and pulled back the curtain.
A fact about Matt that shocked Mark more than anything was that the man did not get scared. He had yawned through their first haunted house together; he fell asleep during the Terrifier movies, for Christ’s sake. So Mark was unsurprised when, instead of screaming bloody murder the way he would’ve if Matt snuck up on his in the shower, his boyfriend simply turned away from the spray and smiled.
“You’re early,” he murmured, ushering Mark in.
“I came right from the gym,” Mark said, wrapping his arms around the shorter man. “I wanted to see you.”
“Mmmm,” Matt hummed, pressing himself into Mark’s arms. “That’s nice, baby.”
They stood that way for a few minutes, until Mark tipped Matt’s chin up towards his face. “I wanted to see you,” he said, pressing his lips onto Matt’s neck, “but I also wanted to… do things. With you.”
Matt’s breath caught in the back of his throat. “Yeah?” he asked, voice low. “Like what?”
Mark stood back to his full height, and pushed Matt against the shower wall. “Let me show you.”
“Fair enough,” Matt said now, lifting his head. “But, I mbean, are you feeling okay right ndow?”
He was, for the moment. But, Matt had seemed alright last night, and clearly he’d already been on the trajectory towards ill – despite that fact that he had been very good at hiding it. Whatever he and his boss had picked up was certainly quick to come on.
“I’m fine, baby, don’t worry about me,” Mark said, rummaging through the drug store bag to hand Matt, who’d fallen into another paroxysm of coughing, the Robitussin. “I’m more worried about you than anything.”
Matt snapped the top off and chugged this medicine as well, seemingly without any concern about mixing two medications. “Babe, it’ll be fine. I kndow Elijah is worried about getting through the weekend, but it’s ndot like any of us haven’t worked with a cold before.” He shrugged then, handed Mark the medicine, and stood. Mark stood as well, and once again cupped Matt’s hot face – this time with both hands.
“Please just take it a little bit easy tonight, okay?” Mark said. “I know Greyson is sick, too, but don’t try to do too much. We don’t need another moment like a few months ago.”
“And to think I’d just forgotten about that,” Matt said, going on tiptoe to kiss his boyfriend. “I’ll be okay.” Mark kissed him back, a little longer than was maybe necessary; long enough that neither of them heard the back door open until it was too late.
“Mark, what the fuck are you doing?”
Oh, fuck.
Elijah.
***
By the end of the night, Greyson and Matt were shadows of their former selves.
“Hh-! Hhhuh… hhNGTSHH-ue! HRTSHH! ETSZCH-ue! Fuuuck mbe,” Greyson muttered as he wrenched into the sleeve of his hoodie – chef coats had been abandoned about an hour into service, when both he and Matt started shivering hard enough to fuck up the plating on more than half the dishes – for the millionth time that night. He attempted to clear his throat, prompting a flurry of congested coughs.
Behind him, Matt was sitting on the cold, industrial kitchen ground, head between his knees. “I’mb gonna pass out, I just kndow I am.”
“Don’t fuckigg pass out,” Greyson growled, pulling his sous to his feet. “You ndeed to get your blood mboving, you gotta stand up. Idiot.”
The two of them, bickering and sneezing in near-unison by the pass, had captivated the attention of both front of house managers, who had turned away from their computer work to watch the mess unfold.
“Hope you like what you see,” Elijah said, finally. “Because that’s gonna be you tomorrow.”
Behind his boss’s back, Mark rolled his eyes. “Boss, I’m fine. I don’t feel sick at all, trust me, I’m going to be okay.” It was mostly true; he’d sneezed a few more times today than was normal for him, yes. And he was a little tired – no more than usual, surely. The rawness in the back of his throat was easily ignored with huge gulps of water. He was fine.
“Mmm,” Elijah said, swinging his chair around to look the younger man in the eye, “sure. Whatever you say, Mark; just remember, if you look even close to how bad Matt does tonight, you’re off the floor. And I mean off the floor until you return to normal. A cold is one thing; whatever these two have is entirely another. Understood?”
Mark swallowed around his burgeoning sore throat; off the floor. Off the floor didn’t mean relegated to busywork behind the scenes; it meant sent home. Being sent home meant days without a backup manager to help Elijah on the floor, and no one to help on the floor meant Elijah would realize there was a gap in their team. A gap in management. Mark had been the only floor manager in all the years Elliot’s had been open; Elijah had mentioned a few times that maybe they should hire another person, someone to cover if both Mark and Elijah couldn’t come in, but Mark had been vehemently against it. Elijah couldn’t hire another manager, because if he did, he’d see how truly unqualified Mark had been for his position all this time. Once he saw how unqualified he was, he’d be out on his ass. No job, no money… no second family. No place he truly belonged.
Mark’s face flushed, and he cast his eyes towards the floor. “Yes, boss,” he said. “I understand.”
“Good,” Elijah said, nodding. “Now, go collect your boyfriend and take him to bed.”
***
The first time Mark was sick while working at Elliot’s was well over a year into his tenure.
Elijah had regarded Mark with concern, clocking him as unwell the second he sat in the office. “You don’t look well,” he said. “Are you feeling okay?”
Mark’s face had flushed, embarrassed; not getting sick for over a year working front of house was honestly a feat of accomplishment in the restaurant industry, but he still felt guilty for coming down with something, despite its inevitability. He shrugged, an attempt at playing it cool.
“I’mb okay, boss,” Mark croaked. “Just a cold.”
Elijah nodded slowly. “Are you sure it’s just a cold? You feel okay to work?”
Mark raised an eyebrow, confused. Did he look that unwell? “I mbean… yeah?” he said, rubbing his nose with the back of his hand. “Why?”
“Well,” Elijah said, opening a drawer and pulling out cold medicine, along with a small bag that looked like it could’ve come from his mother’s medicine cabinet. “A cold, we can work with.”
The GM explained to him, then, that there were marked differences between the front of house cold, and the back of house cold. “You’ve seen Greyson sick at work a dozen times,” Elijah said, passing Mark a cup full of pills and a water bottle. “Right?”
“Sure,” Mark said, swallowing the pills around a painfully sore throat. “It’s ndot like he’s hiding it.”
“Right. Right,” Elijah said, popping open a stick that looked like – was that concealer? “The chefs, the cooks – they don’t have to hide anything. Us, though? No one wants to be served soup by someone with a stuffy nose. We all get the same shit, but only they’re allowed to look like shit.” He dabbed the concealer under Mark’s eyes, used an expert finger to blend it into his skin. “That’s the industry for you.”
“Are you… putting makeup on mbe?” Mark asked, laughing a bit.
“Sure am,” Elijah said. “A little concealer goes a long way in this profession, Mark. Concealer, and enough meds to tranquilize an elephant.” His boss closed the little concealer pen, put the medicine and makeup away. “I want you on the floor, but I want you to look… alive.” Elijah shut the drawer, shrugged. “Let me know if you start feeling really shitty. Otherwise? Come to the back to blow your nose, and feel free to help yourself to whatever you want in here.”
Mark blinked, a little confused, but grateful for the advice. Elijah seemed… almost fatherly, like this, and he could feel embarrassing tears welling in his eyes at this, the smallest gesture of being cared for. Mark looked down, cleared his throat. “Uh… okay, boss. Thanks.”
“Don’t mention it,” Elijah said, patting Mark’s knee. “We’ve gotta take care of each other in this hell hole of an industry, y’know?”
Mark couldn’t look up. The thought of his boss seeing him cry was entirely too much for him to handle. “Right,” he whispered. “Right.”
***
The hardest part of hiding an illness, Mark knew from experience, was speaking.
Putting on makeup and looking like a human instead of a corpse? Easy. He’d learned how to apply concealer so it didn’t look like he was in drag – just enough that in the dim lighting of the restaurant you couldn’t tell if those were dark circles or shadows. He’d learned if you added a tiny bit of blush to your cheeks, no one noticed that your nose was also red, and he’d figured out the hard way that there was never a world in which he needed eyeliner, even if it made his eyes look less bloodshot.
He always dressed immaculately when he wasn’t feeling well; extra-crisp button down, sport coat, his expensive Ray Ban glasses, not the cheapos from Zenni he usually donned. Mark shined his shoes the second he felt a tickle in his throat, broke out the cuff links if he suddenly sneezed more than thrice in a row. He’d been trained well by Elijah to hide the visual cues of any oncoming malady.
Hiding how he really felt came even more naturally; he’d been practicing that since childhood. Complaining wasn’t in his nature, or had maybe been stamped out entirely at some point – either way, Mark could be actively passing out, unable to breathe, coughing so hard he couldn’t form a sentence, and he wouldn’t even mention it. Of course, he’d been sent home from work for being ill before, but never once had he chosen to go. Even the thought of saying ‘I’m sick’ made him dizzy with unease. You need to work through that in therapy, Matt had said to him multiple times, and he knew it was true, but it was also helpful. In this industry, admitting defeat was akin to admitting you sucked at your job.
The voice, though? That was always what gave him away. No matter how much medicine he took, he could always hear the rasp that overtook his voice immediately. His m’s and n’s turned to rounded shadows of their former selves even if he blew his nose every five minutes. His timbre lowered considerably, to the point that when Matt first saw him sick he asked how it felt to be able to do a perfect Johnny Cash, but only when he felt like shit. It was a problem, but Mark was a pretty quiet guy in general. If he was quieter than usual, usually no one was the wiser.
That’s what he hoped – that his boss would be none the wiser – as he dressed in his perfectly-tailored suit that morning, stifling sneeze after painful sneeze into handfuls of tissue all the while. Just don’t talk, he thought as he dotted Maybeline under his eyes. No one has to know.
Of course, not talking was a bit… difficult when his boss was around. “Good morning,” Elijah called to Mark as he buzzed through the kitchen, trying to make his way into the dining room without having to make small talk. Dammit. Mark stopped, begrudgingly, and nodded at his boss, who raised both eyebrows at the younger manager’s outfit choice. “Is there an event tonight I’ve forgotten?”
Mark shook his head, straightened his tie. “Just felt like dressing up,” he said, tactfully avoiding words with too many nasal letters. “How’re you, boss?”
“I’m well,” Elijah said, pointedly. He patted the empty chair next to him, prompting Mark to sit; don’t let him get a good look at you, a voice in Mark’s head chastised. Don’t get taken off the floor. “Greyson’s not coming in till three, if you want to do your preshift report in here today.”
“That’s okay,” Mark said. “I like the dining roomb.” Fuck.
Elijah cocked his head to the side, but didn’t mention Mark’s voice. “How’s Matt feeling?” he asked, another pointed question.
“He’s okay – a little better. Said he’d be here at four.” Mark patted himself on the back for maneuvering around any pesky m’s or n’s that time. Elijah nodded slowly.
“Glad to hear it,” Elijah said, standing. The younger manager was several inches taller than his boss, but Elijah was still able to look him fairly closely in the eye. Once again, one word rattled around in Mark’s head: fuck. “How are you feeling?”
Mark allowed a smile to form on his rapidly-chapping lips. “Good, boss. Ready to work,” he said simply. God, he needed to clear his throat. And more than that, he really, really needed to blow his nose.
Elijah nodded. “Alright,” he said, apparently placated. “Go ahead, then.”
“Thanks, boss,” Mark said, stepping out of the office doorway and pushing through the swinging kitchen doors before Elijah could say anything else. He’d made it through the first test, somehow. Just in time, too, he thought, making a beeline towards the bathroom. Because I really fucking need to -
“NTSHH!” Mark stifled a near-silent sneeze into his wrist as he yanked open the guest bathroom door. Finally, locked in the bathroom alone, he allowed himself to be as disgusting, as sick as he really was.
“Hhuh -! Hh- ETZSCH-ue! HRRSHH-ue! Huh… hh’RRSHH-ue!” Mark collapsed in on himself, scrambling to collect a handful of tissues so he wouldn’t ruin the sleeve of his suit. He blew his nose as thoroughly as he could – not that it made any difference, he was still stuffed up to the gills. A pathetic little cough escaped his lungs, prompting another tickle in his sinuses. “HUHTTSCHH-ue!”
Shut up, shut up, shut up, he chastised himself, blowing his nose again. He’s going to fucking hear you.
He waited a moment or two to see if Elijah would push through the door – he didn’t – before sitting fully clothed on the toilet and pulling out his phone.
11:56AM
Mark
what is this, the fucking plague?
Almost immediately, Matt texted back.
11:57AM Matt
o shit, did we get you already? baby im so sorry. u shouldve told me u weren’t feeling good last night u couldve stayed over
11:57AM Mark
not your fault. and I’m ok, just trying to avoid Elijah, he’s gonna be so pissed.
11:59AM
Matt
omfg he’ll get over it. its not like someone in that restaurant isnt sick every other week
Mark sighed, his lungs crackling at the effort. Matt was right; someone was almost always sick at Elliot’s, that was the way of things in this industry. They all shared drinks, they worked in close quarters, it was bound to happen. This was less about the illness itself – of course he’d been sick at work before, who hadn’t? - and more about the look he knew he’d see on Elijah’s face when he’d finally have to crack. He’d gone directly against his boss’s orders, had put his job and the restaurant second to his baser desires. That’s no way to get ahead in this world, his dad’s voice bellowed from the base of his brain. Mark shuddered; he wasn’t sure he’d be able to face Elijah’s look of pure disappointment. He wasn’t sure he had it in him.
Slipping his phone into his pocket, Mark stood and washed his hands. He took an inventory of his face in the mirror – eye bags poorly covered by drugstore makeup, his nose raw and red, his mouth slightly open to allow him to breathe – and realized how truly awful he looked. Was there even a chance that Elijah didn’t know he was sick? Doubtful, his dad’s voice muttered.
You have to just try, another voice in his head pleaded. Just push through, you know how to push through. You’ve done it a million times before. He doesn’t have to know.
That voice, Mark knew, was delusional – a child’s gnawing plea to be accepted, to not get in trouble, to not be thought of as a burden – but he knew that sometimes you had to be delusional, had to listen to the saddest, smallest part of yourself to get through a day. He pulled his phone back out before leaving the bathroom.
12:04PM
Mark
just please don’t say anything to Elijah when you get here, ok? I’m fine, I promise. its honestly probably just in my head, it’s probably nothing so just don’t say anything. see u soon.
Pathetic, his dad’s voice spat, and Mark knew the voice was right. But that was nothing new, nothing to dwell on; he’d always been pathetic. Mark switched off his phone then, not wanting to be comforted by his boyfriend, and stepped onto the floor.
***
“Mark,” Matt said, reaching up to touch the front of house manager’s forehead, “you really need to go.”
Mark pulled away before Matt could touch him, though not by choice. “HRRSHH-uhh! Hh-! HhNTZSHH-ue! Snrrf. Leave mbe alone.”
Matt’s hand recoiled at the ice in his boyfriend’s voice, obviously hurt. Normally, Mark would’ve nearly fallen to his knees at the thought of hurting Matt’s feelings, but today, with the cold from hell progressing quicker than he ever could’ve anticipated, he couldn’t even find it in himself to apologize. Obviously he needed to go, but that would mean admitting to illness; it would mean begin taken off the floor until god-knows-when. It would mean Elijah replacing him.
No. He wasn’t about to go.
“Honey,” Matt said carefully, touching Mark’s hand across the expo board, “I’mb sure Elijah would understand. It’s a slow ndight, he already sent Greyson back home. What are you trying to prove?”
Of course, Matt was right; last night’s crazy shift was in stark contrast to this evening’s steady pace. There were hardly twenty more covers for the evening, and yes, even Greyson had admitted defeat and slunk out right at six p.m., in a fevered haze. The only reason Matt was still here was because his fever had broken this morning and, despite the lingering cough and stuffy nose, he was clearly feeling better. Good enough, even, to have gone behind Mark’s back and talked to Elijah.
“Matt told me,” Elijah had cornered him right before preshift started, in the back server station while everyone else ate family meal. Mark felt his stomach sink. Fucking Matt, he thought, clearing his throat to address his boss in the most normal voice he could muster.
“Told you what?” he asked, straightening his tie. Elijah gave the younger manager a knowing look.
“You don’t look like you feel well, Mark,” he said, obviously trying a different tactic. This time, Mark’s stomach knotted; he felt, for a moment, like a little kid, wanting to fall to the ground in front of his mommy and just allow himself to be comforted. He thought for a fleeting moment of how good it would feel to just admit it; I’m sick, he would say, if he were a normal fucking person, I want to go to bed.
Instead, Mark shook his head. “I don’t kndow what Matt told you, but he doesn’t kndow what he talking about,” he managed, his voice cutting out only once. “I’mb fine.”
Elijah sighed. “Mark, listen, I know I was an asshole yesterday -”
“Boss,” Mark cut Elijah off. “Please. I’mb okay. Just please, let mbe work.”
He’d walked away then, hadn’t let Elijah say whatever it was he wanted to say, and had avoided Matt as well as he could throughout service. Now, mid-shift, when all the cooks and servers were side-eyeing them from he expo board, was not the time to hash this out.
“I’mb ndot trying to prove anything, Matt,” Mark said now, grabbing two plates from the window. “Just stay out of mby business. What table?”
Matt bit his cheek, peaked at the chit. “Please don’t be mbad,” he said, voice quiet. Mark prickled; he couldn’t help it. He was mad. He’d asked one stupid thing of Matt, and now here he was, career in trouble, embarrassed in front of both of their staffs, and once again gearing up for another painful -
“HTTSHH-ue! God, fugck,” Mark swore, ducking expertly away from the plates he was holding. He sucked in through his nose hard enough to make himself dizzy, and looked back at Matt. “What table, Chef?” he asked, pointedly. Matt winced.
“Thirty-three,” he said finally. Mark nodded.
“Great. Thangks.” He turned on his heels and pushed out the kitchen doors.
***
Before it happened, Mark found himself thinking exactly what his boyfriend was moaning the night previous: I’m gonna pass out, I know I am.
The only difference was, Mark was correct.
He’d been feeling shittier and shittier as the night went on. It began with spells of dizziness that came anytime he moved his head too fast, then moved on to an ache in his chest every time he coughed. A cold is one thing, he remembered Elijah saying the night previous. Whatever they have is entirely something else.
Elijah the prophet.
He kept pushing through. Plate after plate came out of the kitchen on his aching arms; he shook drinks while coughing into his shoulder, and sniffled his way through seating guests. Mark could feel Elijah’s eyes on him, though his boss refused to speak to him throughout the shift. I’ll show him, his fever-addled mind kept saying. I can do this. I’m fine.
It wasn’t until the last table had sat that his body well and truly told him he’d had enough. Mark was seeing stars when he grabbed a filet and swordfish, and once again he ignored it. He ignored the room swimming before him as he pushed out of the kitchen. He ignored the sway in his step.
“Shit, Mark!” was the last thing he heard, standing in the middle of the dining room with hot plates in each of his hands. There was no way to tell who said it – Elijah? Matt? – but it didn’t really matter, because before he could respond, his vision became a tiny pinkprick, his knees buckled, and the lights went out.
***
When the world came back into focus, he had somehow teleported into his bed.
At first, Mark tried desperately to get up; he’d fallen in the middle of the restaurant, that he unfortunately remembered immediately. There had been people around, guests watching, and he immediately felt his face flame with embarrassment. Oh, Elijah is going to kill me.
That was when he realized he was no longer in the restaurant. Mark placed a hand over an aching eye; was it all a dream? He looked down – no, it couldn’t be. He was still in his tailored suit, the tie and ciff links missing, but otherwise dressed to the nines.
“Whoa there, kid,” a familiar voice came from the doorway. “Go ahead and lie back down.”
Mark blearily glanced towards the voice. There, just outside his bedroom, stood Elijah, a steaming cup in one hand and a thermometer in the other. Fuck.
“Shit, Elijah, I’mb so sorry I ca – HTSHH-ue! HRRSHH-ue! Fuck, ’scuse mbe,” Mark, any facade of health finally washed away, used his expensive suit jacket to wipe his nose. Elijah glided across the small room and sat on the foot of the bed, handing the younger man the cup. Tea.
“Save your breath,” Elijah said. “You already apologized about a hundred times at the restaurant.”
He had? Mark gave Elijah a confused look, and sat back on the pillows behind him. He hadn’t even realized he’d come to at the restaurant at all.
“Mmhmm,” Elijah said, nodding. “To me. To Matt. To the guests. To the EMTs. I would think you’d be apologized out.”
EMTs? Mark cringed; as if he hadn’t been embarrassed enough. He wanted to ask, but at the same time he figured it was probably better that he didn’t remember. Small mercies, he thought.
“Lij,” Mark croaked, taking a sip of the tea, “I really amb… sorry. I mbean, I can’t imagine how mbuch I embarrassed you. Thangk you for bringing mbe home… I understand if you can’t…let mbe, uh. Work there. Anymore.”
Mark, destroyed by fever, and aches, and what was probably some sort of bronchitis-sinus-infection super-fucking-hybrid, couldn’t help but let the angry, ashamed tears fall as he said it. Matt wasn’t here, which most likely meant he was out both a boyfriend and a job. You fucking idiot. You stupid, fucking idiot, how dumb could you -
Elijah broke through the screaming in his head – he took Mark’s arms in his hands, placed his cup on the side table, and pulled him in for a hug. “Mark,” his boss said, “you really had us worried.” He pulled the younger manager back, concern painted on his face. “Of course you aren’t fired, I don’t know why you’d think that of me,” he said, a moment so raw that Mark felt like he’d been sucker-punched. “You should’ve just told me you were so sick. So you could go and rest. I would’ve even let Matt go with you.” Elijah patted his knee then, and handed Mark back the mug. “It’s just a restaurant, Mark. You’re more important than service.”
Mark felt his eyes well up once again. Had anyone ever told him he was worth more than the work he did? He wasn’t sure. He wasn’t sure, and that felt like an even harder gut-punch.
“I just…” he managed, wiping beneath his eyes. “I just didn’t wandt you to replace mbe. I’mb sorry for letting Mbatt get mbe sick.”
At this, Elijah actually laughed. “Mark,” he said, “you’re young. You’re in love; it comes with the territory. I was annoyed because Greyson and Matt are constantly getting everyone in that restaurant sick. I wasn’t trying to attack you.” He smiled then, a small and slightly sad smile. “I’m sorry if that’s how to came off.”
Mark didn’t know what to say; he felt awful, like he’d been hit by a semi, and he just wanted to sleep. See Matt. Apologize for being a dick. And sleep.
“Is Mbatt mad at mbe?” he croaked, pulling his legs into his chest. This time, Elijah actually laughed.
“I don’t think Matt knows how to be mad at you,” he said. “He’s just closing up the line; he was actually the one who brought you back here, but you were racked out so I said I’d come keep an eye on you till he got back.” Elijah shrugged, gave a little knowing smile. “He’ll be back soon. Okay? We don’t have to talk any more about this now. Just… try to sleep.” He patted Mark’s shoulder; a fatherly gesture from a man who claimed to know nothing about being a parent. “I’ll call Matt.”
Finally, finally, Mark conceded. He wanted to thank Elijah, or maybe apologize again, but he couldn’t make his mouth form words. Instead, he just nodded, grateful, and sank back into his pillow. He felt his eyes close, and allowed himself, for once, to let someone else take care of him.
He knew, maybe for the first time in his life, that he was safe.
#whiskeyswriting#snz#sickfic#snzfic#snzblr#coldfic#male cold#male snz#whump#whump writing#hurt/comfort#this is such a long fic and does it even make sense??? idk#the beginning and the end are so drastically different it feels insane to even post#but whatever. i've spent like thirty hours on it at this point so it's getting posted#i need to write something fun and silly after this hahaha#if you take the time to read this you're a saint
99 notes
·
View notes
Text
Might be a pretty basic take by the standards of more seasoned yuri fans, but it's my perspective as someone who's mostly read yuri in a Touhou context (though a lot of it), and exclusively manga from the Japanese fans as opposed to i.e. written fics.
Touhou yuri (using it very broadly here to describe any kind of wlw shipping present) is, across the board, in a pool of fan literature going back twenty years, remarkably good at taking the lesbian part for granted. Not counting outright het content or works that simply don't bring it up, I have only very vague memories of a character's lesbian orientation being either denied or even brought to question (even in the cliche "But we're both girls!" manner, which even as a somewhat dead horse trope you might still expect to see, given plenty of doujin writing isn't exactly highbrow). You might be able to read "Does she like girls?" between the lines in the usual question of "Does she like me?" if you really want to, but the way it's still basically treated as default is fun to me. There's a reason Touhou basically has honorary yuri status on e.g. Dynasty Reader, even the stories with effectively zero shipping in them. You might not notice if you haven't browsed the site, but it's literally nothing but yuri + Touhou. We even got upload rights just so we could post more Touhou.
(Of course, Touhou being yuri city is part of the reason any hint of straight romance gets a really strong kneejerk reaction from people, including me. But that's also because the lack of usable male characters makes that shipping inherently hamfisted, up to and including literally making up cardboard villager OCs. Basically the only positive example I can remember off the top of my head is Hisona's An Old Poem for the Cuckoo Bird depicting Youki with a 1000-year-old mostly joking crush on Nue, which after some chin-scratching I decided I liked alright. And Hisona of course has plenty of yuri cred to cover for it.)
But although taken for granted, most Touhou yuri is one or more of: a.) On a "blushing maidens thinking about holding hands" level in its approach to romance, b.) Only depicting the starting moments of a relationship, at best - usually just pining, c.) Only off-handedly teasing, basically to acknowledge the ship is there, d.) Showing a very close and loving relationship but leaving the romance part subtextual, even if thinly veiled.
While those are all fine - some of my favorite artists like e.g. Ashiyama undeniably fall under d.) - it means that artists who depict more established couples, and couples that get depicted as more established, stand out. I love when a story is very blunt about two characters, whether the focus is actually on them or not, already being an item. Be it due to a difference in target demographic or what, many of these works seem to have a slight lean towards being more raunchy/horny even when not outright R-18, but I don't actually mind that too much when it does happen - as long as they're fun and raunchy, as opposed to only raunchy or, god forbid, unfun in raunchy ways.
I like how Moyazou depicts Mokou and Keine as basically-married. I like how Atoki depicts YuuParu or SakiYachi after drawing like twenty books of them (each). I like when Kawayabug depicts Tojiko as Miko's beleaguered wife. But the example of the day is obviously risui (of Ladies of Scarlet Devil Mansion), who you might have guessed inspired this ramble. Funnily enough, in LoSDM she seems to have walked back Meiling and Sakuya's relationship coincidentally at the same time she toned down the content to fit SCoOW's guidelines, compared to her usual works that have MeiSaku at a much more established and mutual stage.
But the point stands that it's really fun to see LoSDM almost rub it in your face from the very start - from Meiling's dream to every other conversation she has - that everyone in it is unapologetically and openly lesbian, assumes everyone else to be a lesbian, and doesn't hesitate to talk about it like a (romcom idiot) adult.
Also, risui draw lady very good
154 notes
·
View notes
Note
Apologies if this has been asked already, but is there any chance we might get to see what those conversations between sun and moon were like? I just started reading (Don't) Fear the Reaper and now that I know they talk when Sun is quiet, I can't help but wonder what's being said.
When I eventually get around to writing the follow-up fic (which will explore the story from Sun's pov) you'll get to see each and every conversation they had!
Since I'm not sure when that will be (and I have a rough version of what it might look like already written up in my notes) I'll go ahead and drop it here for you to chew on in the meantime :3
This conversation occurs in their personal cabin when y/n first finds out about Moon's existence. I've left the original lines in for context, but they'll be indented so you know what is and isn't internal.
“We?” You watch with growing curiosity as he freezes in place and winces, like he’s just been caught in a lie.
“Sun—”
“I know, I know.”
“Fix it.”
There it is, again. That distant expression like his mind is somewhere else entirely. You aren’t sure if robots are capable of internal monologue, but if they are, his must be pretty intense for the absolutely guilty expression he wears before smothering it with another mocked up smile. “Me and…Moon,” he answers, voice pitifully small.
“What are you doing?”
“It’s better to be honest, isn’t it? They’re going to find out eventually.”
“No. No. You’re going to say something you shouldn’t.”
“I can handle myself in a conversation just fine, thank you very much. I have so fa—”
“You don’t know when to shut up.”
His smile falters, eyes panicked like a child being scolded.
Moon. You recognize the name from the conversation with Oscar earlier, how scared he had looked from the mere mention of it. You aren’t entirely sure how to navigate this situation, but if this Moon has everyone up in arms, there must be a good reason for it, right? “Is he…dangerous?”
“....Well? Am I?”
“Oh, now you want me to talk?”
“Just thought they should know all the grisly details, since you seem keen on being truthful.”
Sun hesitates to answer. He bides his time by tending to your ankle, instead. Carefully drawing your shoe away like a reverse cinderella, then gently turning your ankle in all directions to get a feel for the damage.
“You’re not being fair.”
“Go on, tell them.”
“I don’t think that’s a good ide—”
“Tell them how I butchered her. How I didn’t stop until her pulse flickered under my hand.”
“Moon—”
“Tell them how much I regret letting go.”
“I—”
“Tell them how often we think about her blood caking our palms. How relieving it felt to finally—”
“It doesn’t feel broken,” he tells you.
“Don’t ignore me.”
“I think you might have just twisted it. Should be in tip-top shape by morning!” He faces you with that telltale smile once more, only for it to droop significantly when you don’t immediately mirror his relief. It’s not the answer you’re waiting for.
“Hypocrite.” Moon snarls. “Cornered yourself. Now you’re the animal stuck in a trap.”
“Little rabbit…” he sighs. “You are very, very lucky, you know. This could have been much worse.”
Pebbles climb in your throat, brought on by his words. Each bigger than the last and taking up space where you need to breathe. They rattle with every inhale, collecting in great heaps the longer he fits you with that emotionless stare. You don’t think he’s referring to your ankle, anymore.
“Cruel. Warning a rabbit with one foot already in a trap.”
“They’re smarter than you think.”
“It’s too late to save them.”
“...I know.”
“Then why bother?”
A twig snaps just outside the door, relieving you of his piercing gaze as his neck wrenches to follow it. Just a squirrel. “Sun, I—” “Anyone can be dangerous,” he whispers, eyes still zeroed in on the animal.
“Caaareful.”
“I told you, it’s better to be honest," Sun's optics twitch ever briefly. "They ought to know it isn’t you they should fear.”
#DFtR au#DFtR au spoilers#snippets#decided to drop it through text instead of screenshots due to the length#again this is a VERY rough concept of how it might go. all of this is subject to change once i get to the final draft
31 notes
·
View notes
Text
Lloyd Hansen Writing Challenge
Welcome to the Lloyd Hansen Writing Challenge, hosted by the Lloyd Hansen server.
About 2 years ago, we got our first taste of Lloyd Hansen through Netflix’s trailers. From then on, we were hooked. To celebrate this anniversary, we invite writers to join our challenge and create their own Lloyd Hansen fics!
This challenge is 18+ ONLY. Minors are not allowed to engage in any way, shape, or form. It is open to everyone—not just members of our server, although we encourage you to join us if you haven’t already.
All fics will be about Lloyd Hansen. We do not allow incest (stepcest is permitted), underage, or scat play. Fics should be reader inserts* and as inclusive as possible. Any genre (dark, smut, angst, fluff) is allowed. *For any other specifications or adjustments, reach out to one of the mods or send an ask. This is not a strict requirement.
There is no word count requirement. However, you must use a “read more” break, no matter the length. Use appropriate warnings.
The deadline for the challenge is July 22nd, 2024. This is not a strict deadline at all!
You will choose a dialogue that the character has said in the film and transform it from the original context. Certain prompts are open to changing as long as you note that somewhere. Once you’ve chosen a prompt and sent us an ask with it, it will be crossed off from the list. Prompts are on a first-come, first-serve basis! You can select up to 5 prompts.
Need feedback or advice? Feel free to message either one of the mods (@hansensgirl or @cuttlefjsh), or visit our server to discuss your fic with other members.
TAG YOUR FICS WITH THE TAG #Lloyd Hansen Server WC24
Happy writing!
Asterisks + ‘[…]’ indicates a prompt is open for change.
Should we try again?
Boring.
“Mostly, it’s loss which teaches us about the worth of things.” That’s Arthur Schopenhauer. He was a German philosopher, a pessimist. He saw the value in suffering.
Damn it. Phones on silent when I’m working, please.
Still just flirting. But… [...] getting there. *
Well, no one goes to Harvard to play football.
I like to be the exception. What’s up?
Gimme a name.
Could be fun.
Well, I’m gonna need a full green light on this one. Open checkbook.
I’d rather you punch me in the dick.
We’ll find somebody [...] loves and squeeze. *
Have I ever done you wrong, [...]? *
Professionally maybe. Lloyd Hansen, Hansen Government Services.
Aw, does it? Good.
You know my work. That’ll make this next part a lot easier.
You know what makes me sad, [...]? *
Five and a half.
Who likes cats?
Let’s talk about the mess your [...] made. *
Oh, [...] made a big one. And judging by your shallow breathing and puckered asshole*, I can only assume you know why I’m here.
But see, that’s the beauty of the private sector. I don’t care about reasons.
My guess is you’re helping [...] already. So this shouldn’t put too much of a dent in your day. *
But your file, well, that’s chock-full of nuggets, some of which might make you rethink your fussy attitude.
You gonna answer it?
Hey, sunshine. Lloyd Hansen here. I’m the one running this op.
The one where I get exactly what I want.
Okay, that’s fair. Well, why don’t you come on in, and we can chat? My assistant will get lunch. You like sushi?
Well, I’m glad we’re on the same page.
Looks like you need a new phone.
Don’t say “preternatural” to me. It’s an asshole word.
And that, [...], is exactly what bad ethics and zero impulse control will get you. *
I can kill anybody.
Well, we’ll see.
We need to ground in *Vienna.
How do you feel about your license?
Who’s up for some *Tafelspitz?
Hey, sunshine.
What gave it away?
Ballsy.
Nice try, pumpkin.
What size shoe are you?
Can someone get me a Vicodin, please?
On the run, scared shit less.
You know all those rules you guys are always trying to work your way around? They don’t mean dick to me.
Shut up and go sit in the corner.
Oh. How about that?
Forget about the Vicodin.
That’ll do, pig. That’ll do.
Goldilocks, would you be a lamb and excuse us?
Shhh. Please.
Now, whatever I just did to your *ears, it’s not even torture. I just made it up on the spot. Just came to me. And that’s how this is gonna go.
Should we try again?
Maybe we should get the *girl back in here.
Well, that was unexpected.
Make him dead.
My God, how hard is it to shoot somebody?
What I do can’t be taught.
You know what I love about you?
Yahtzee.
No, success qualifies as success.
You wanna make an omelette, you gotta *kill some people.
You know, in English, we call this a *happy ending. However, if you say one more word, you may not see it that way.
Lock everything down.
Get me eyes on the bridge.
You’re making me destroy a historic building here!
Wait! Please don’t shoot! Look what you did to my hand.
Give me that, you little shit.
Now you pick those feet up, or you’re gonna get dead real quick.
Now, listen. You shut up, and you don’t move.
Now, I’m gonna stop you right there, cupcake.
What do you say we wrap this up?
I mean, I’m having a blast, but it’s way past the kid’s bedtime, don’t you think?
You’re gonna throw me that gun, or the little one gets a new face. *
It’s really a shame this isn’t gonna work out between us.
Now normally, at this point in the night, I wouldn’t be sticking around.
With the house lights about to come on, I’d find a desperate, ugly chick to lick my wounds and split, but you have been a pebble in my shoe since the very beginning.
And now I just don’t think I can walk away.
Guess what I’m thinking right now.
I think I’m better than you.
Still getting used to it.
Let’s see if these moves fuck.
#lloyd hansen server#Lloyd Hansen Server WC24#writing challenge#lloyd hansen#the gray man#chris evans#x reader#creator challenge#writing prompt
80 notes
·
View notes
Text
I get it
E/riel’s have been disappointed & shook since the BC.
I understand there are aggressive shippers out there on all sides with ✨ ZERO ✨ emotional intelligence & can’t help themselves from being actual villains.
All that to say, the biggest difference between Elriel v. Gwynriel/Elucien is we do actually use canon with complete context & build upon that. Canon from multiple series most times. We’ve kept up with the story.. We actually understand the narrative THE AUTHOR is wanting to convey. It’s both.. iykyk
If Elriel’s actually follow cannon you’ll end up with chosen love (if Elain even gives him a chance after that BC), their powers don’t sing or dance for the other, Elain has a bond trailing her forever, & Az leaves Elain for his mate when his bond snaps (bc it’s canon he wants a mate bond. He straight up says he’s envious of RHYS & CASSIAN. Az, quite literally, waited 500 years for a MATING BOND to snap with Mor.).
It’s clear y’all don’t understand that Elain’s treatment of Lucien is NOT unique to Lucien as a character. She’d be treating Az the same way if that bond snapped in Hybern, the same way y’all don’t understand that Azriel’s visceral longing for a mate is NOT unique to Elain as a character.. the same way y’all don’t realize that if Lucien never said anything, y’all wouldn’t have your favorite scene of them sitting in the garden.
I’ve seen a few post lately saying we’ve read too many fanfics, have confused cannon, & that we’re envious of Elriel… that’s what’s prompted this rant lol… This take is rich coming from the ship that had fics with Azriel’s shadows playing/DANCING for Elain, only for that dream to be drowned in a muddy grave in chapter 60 & in the BC of ACOSF.. yet y’all still are out here trying to explain that away or try to spin it as a positive… An Elriel shipper had an artist commission them as Eric & Ariel. At first I thought that commission was supposed to be an uno reverse of irony & apparently it’s not, it was actually for Elriel month & intended to only have one level of irony… Who’s really envious & confusing canon here?
Never seen an Elucien post saying “Darn, I wish Lucien’s power didn’t come out when he was trying to get to Elain, I wish his power was absent around her like Az’s shadows. Shoot, I really wish Lucien didn’t give Elain incredibly thoughtful gifts for solstice & ask Fayre multiple questions about Elain so he could know her as a person. Really wish he didn’t fight his way through a battle field just to see Elain. Actually, I just wish Lucien didn’t think of Elain’s well being at all, he should’ve NEVER thought about her still not eating, how thin she was, & how much that look in her eyes worried him.”
Never seen a Gwynriel post saying “Aw man, I wish Azriel didn’t notice how Gwyn’s freckles crinkle on her nose when she smirks & I wish he didn’t bait her into a challenge like he did with the obstacle course. I really freaking hate that his shadows danced with Gwyn after we got direct confirmation they don’t do that for Elain. Darn, really wish Az thought of his hands tainting Gwyn when we got his PoV.”
It’s absolutely hilarious that they’ll try it when I have YET so see an Elucien proof of ship post that isn’t straight from the books (with the complete context of the quote) & have it not support the overarching narrative THE AUTHOR is wanting to convey regarding a fated mate.. I just.. y’all, it’s okay to be wrong.
If I need to spell it out for you, the overarching theme is ✨ like calls to like ✨ & the mating bond transcends all… I’d hope we all know this as we’ve had to read that saying 832 times & have 832 examples of mates CHOOSING to accept the bond after getting to know them & healing.
We speak with 100% conviction bc it’s OBVIOUS! Elucien’s have been nothing but validated by SJM each time she released a book building more tension for Elucien to explore.. ACOSF was 100% validation for her Elucien’s.. I see Elriel theories & posts all the time bc I follow the Azriel tags. I don’t engage unless the Elriel tag is missing bc I won’t hop on a post that’s obviously for their discussion & rants. Tho, when I do go snoop, I have never seen a Elriel theory or take that can’t be disproven BY THE BOOKS aka THE AUTHOR..
I get it
We’ve all waiting YEARS for SJM to finish a series & we want to see our characters HEA.
I have ✨ ZERO ✨ problem with yall shipping Elriel, it’s just the fact y’all still scream that “your book” is next.. Sweetheart, there’s no book… & it’s that y’all copy & paste Elucien/Gwynriel characteristics & dynamics onto your ship. Like, yall do realize the depth of irony you put yourselves in every.. single.. time?
Just enjoy your side of the fandom & understand that the ship YOU WANT can ONLY be achieved through fanfics or realize that your ship is actually just a pick’N’choose of Elucien & Gwynriel.
I’m sorry that I’m not sorry for considering y’all a joke at this point in the maasverse. Every Elriel take or “proof” I see ends with me laughing my ass off, bc it’s comedic gold the amount of hoops y’all need to jump through. Realistically, only thing Elucien’s & Gwynriel’s need to do is just sit back & wait. Because on this day of May 6th, 2024, we should know that something greater than the cauldron chooses mates, Elain & Lucien are STILL CONFIRMED TO BE MATES, Elain has yet to have an on page conversation with Lucien discussing the future of their bond, Azriel’s shadows still ONLY dance for Gwyn or Azriel, & Az’s chest still ONLY sparked for Gwyn…
ALAIS, Elucien’s have been trying to help manage y’all’s expectations since 2016 & now have us Gwynriel’s to back them up bc it’s allllll in the books babes! (We can pull evidence from all of her series that supports SJM’s theme of like calls to like, mating language, & mating behaviors to show actual proof of our ship)
Honestly, it doesn’t matter how much y’all try to “I know you are, but what am I?” us to death, it still won’t change the fact that after the CoN scene & chapter 60 in ACOSF, y’all should’ve just taken that L with grace & dignity..
I know the best thing to do is not engage or add to the flame & that they bait, I just can’t help it. I work in the legal field & arguing a point is in my blood! 💀 I get it, don’t yuck others yums, it’s just so funny that we are still neck deep in discourse with them about mates getting a book together… in a contracted fated mates series..
#pro gwynriel#pro elucien#anti e/riel#whats done is done#and the gag is#the call is coming from inside the house#today tomorrow or next year e/riel sank
68 notes
·
View notes
Note
I just saw that you’re writing Carcar fic, a snippet pls 🙏
I love your stories so much so I’m really excited ❤️
This is the first thing that I read when I wake up, thank you so much anon because this means a lot to me, so I'll do it.
(I edited this post, 'cause I had a bit of trouble publishing it)
Soo, a not-so-little snippet for you!
“Mate, I honestly think you’re just exaggerating. It doesn’t sound like that big of a deal to me, really.” Logan stretches his legs out, knocking his feet right against Oscar’s knee.
Oscar grumbles in lieu of an answer, lowering his head until he can hide his gaze in the bottom of his pint.
“Don’t know why you hate the guy so much; he seems alright to me.”
The thing is, Oscar Piastri does not hate Carlos Sainz.
Hate is too strong of a word for an individual with whom Oscar tends to have zero to no interaction whatsoever, except for forced polite greetings in the elevator and those rare times when Carlos decides that going out with Lando is worth his time.
Oscar sincerely thinks that only pretentious people claim to be as busy as Carlos does, so much so that he never seems able to find an evening to spend an ounce of time with his best friend.
So, no, Oscar does not hate him. He just can’t stand him, which is a big difference and Logan should note that.
Is the prospect of working alongside him on his most important project of his entire career going to deepen that grudge? Probably, surely.
But Oscar is, in fact, a professional, no matter what Carlos thinks of him, and he knows how to work with people he would rather keep a safe distance from. Nail guy and Germophobic guy should be more than enough proof.
“You don’t know him.” Oscar protests, sighing in frustration. Lando raises an unimpressed eyebrow next to him, tapping his chin. “Alright, sorry Lando. You do not know him in a working context.”
“I mean, how different can that be?” Logan says doubtfully. “Lando said you don’t even work in the same department.”
“Lando is just biased because Carlos got to him before us.”
Lando snorts, shaking his head with an amused smile. “Wow, thanks Oscar, you make it sound like I can make my own decisions.”
Oscar shrugs. “You’re welcome.”
“Has he started complaining about being paired up with Carlos, yet?” Yuki asks just as he settles down two other pints on their booth’s table.
Alex trails behind him, carefully balancing two portions of fries on each arm before sliding in the empty seat next to Logan.
“Mate, you have no idea.” Logan groans, placing a sloppy kiss on Alex’s cheek as he steals a fry from his portion.
Alex rolls his eyes, but still lets him with a fond smile. Oscar sincerely thinks he could puke.
“I really don’t understand why you despise him so much. He seems alright to me.” Alex says, failing at hiding the curiosity behind his voice.
“Babe! I said the same exact thing!”
“And he’s a great golf player, honestly.”
Oscar sighs, knowing that he’s left with his shoulders against the wall.
It’s not like his friends would understand, anyway, since they do not have to walk in his shoes.
Logan and Alex do not count, because they like everyone, and Yuki is one of the most unfazed people Oscar has ever met, Lando is just obsessed with Carlos for reasons Oscar will probably never fully comprehend.
He’s left alone, on this matter, even when they all go out together and Charles and Carlos tag along, Carlos is the only one who seems to not have any joke or a single word to address to Oscar.
Lando says that he’s probably the one actually ignoring him. Oscar thinks that Carlos is just plain out rude to him, and only him.
But that’s a bit childish, so he’ll keep that thought to himself.
Everyone starts focusing on their own food, and Oscar stupidly hopes that the topic must’ve finally been brought out of his last Saturday night as a free man before three months of utter nightmare.
And then Yuki quips in and reduces his hopes to shreds. “On his first day, Carlos told Andrea that he thought Oscar was too young for that position, and that he would be inexperienced. Oscar heard him, and he’s totally convinced that Carlos knows that he heard him but he still never apologised and Oscar took that personally because he’s peevish.”
“I am not peevish!” Oscar groans bumping his forehead against the table.
“Yeah, Oscar, you are a bit peevish. Just a tiny bit, though.” He feels Lando’s hand coming up to pat him on the back, sympathetic. “Come on mate, I’m pretty sure he didn’t mean it like that.”
“Yeah, I mean, we say similar stuff about each other all the time at my workplace.” Alex offers, in an awful attempt at cheering him up.
It doesn’t do any magic at all, because Alex works as a teacher and Oscar has gone to school for enough years to know that teachers are only capable of hating each other for stretching out their hours longer than they should and preferring different students.
Well, unless they’re shagging like Alex and Logan, but they work in two different schools so that should not apply.
“It’s not just that.” Oscar tries to defend himself. Because holding a grudge for something that happened three years ago does sound a bit childish, and he’s not.
The rest of the table looks at him inquisitively, impatiently waiting for an answer, just the sound of the background music filling the silence that Oscar would so much prefer over having to talk about Carlos, of all people.
The worst topic they could choose for a Saturday night out at the pub, really.
“He’s just-“ he makes a vague gesture, hoping that they might understand it easily. Of course, everyone just blinks at him. “I mean, who goes around with only shirts that have his initials stitched on it? Who goes around acting like they know everything and they’re the best at it? And he says that Lando is his best mate, but I don’t see him hanging out with him that often, no? That’s just top dickhead behaviour, if you ask me.”
“Aw, Osc!” Lando exclaims, and in a matter of second, Oscar finds himself with his head caged under Lando’s elbow, the Brit’s hand mussing his hair. “You’re so cute, defending my honour.”
“You never did that for me.” Logan protests, and then more quietly to Alex. “Babe, he never did that for me.”
Alex smiles, patting his back lightly. “Do not worry, Lo, I’ll do it for you.”
“I’m not defending anybody’s honour.” Oscar splutters out, his cheeks growing hot, heart thumping in his chest, wild – a dangerous zone. He slaps Lando’s hands away from his hair, trying to ruffle them to some kind of order, but it’s no use, they’ll never make sense.
Carlos’ hair is always perfectly styled and composed. What a dickhead, indeed.
“I’m just stating the obvious.”
“Still, I can guarantee you that you do not need to worry about that.” Lando assures him, trying to reach back for his head, but Oscar is quicker this time, leaving him to poke Yuki’s cheek with a finger, instead. “He’s got other things to do on Saturday, usually.”
Oscar takes a sip of his beer to cover his snort.
He doesn’t trust Lando’s words, he’s probably just too biased by having been Carlos’ friend for such a long time.
Someone who’s not even married and who earns as much as Carlos does surely should not have that many things to do instead of hanging out with his friends.
But anyway, it’s none of his business. Rather, he should be glad he can at least escape him on Saturday.
“Sure.”
—
On Monday morning, Oscar clocks into work on time, his jacket is completely dry, his hair kind of makes sense and there’s a spring in his step, and he just feels good overall.
He has spent most of his Sunday sitting on the couch binge watching the entire final season of Brooklyn 99 and he’s convinced himself that whatever mind games Carlos might want to play with him, Oscar is stronger and smarter, and he won’t let himself get squashed.
Logan kind of fuelled his confidence, as well, with his usual monologues about the importance of believing in himself and remembering all the sweat and tears he put in to reach the place he’s in now, though Oscar is pretty sure he only comes up with them to exercise for his drama kids.
But the point is that he knows that it’s his job, that it’s his career, and even if he would probably get the promotion either way, he still wants to earn it. If not for Andrea, then for himself.
The fact that it’s his biggest project ever, just motivates him more.
He plops down on his office chair with a smile that must be breaking his face if the way Yuki glances at him curiously from the other side is anything to go by. But he just shrugs it off, playing dumb.
He’s just in a good mood, is that illegal?
“It is if you’re called Oscar Piastri.” Yuki tells him, no hair on his tongue. “You always look like-“ he makes a serious face, his lips closed into straight line, one eyebrow raised, sceptical. Oscar does not look like that, he thinks (he hopes). “Like those statues from Christmas Island.”
“I do not look like that at all.” Oscar glares at him, turning his computer on. “And it’s Easter Island.”
“Yeah, whatever.”
He spends the morning going through Andrea’s instructions over and over again until he can exactly tell the position of every single letter, and then he spends the rest of it making a first draft for a spreadsheet with all the products they will probably need to change a million times.
Carlos does not write him, nor does he come around to ask for him, either, but Oscar doesn’t question it that much. God knows he has his own side-projects, although minor, to care about but he guesses that spending some time to start brainstorming over this new one it’s not entirely a bad idea.
He’ll just email the file Excel to Carlos once it’s done, and then maybe they’ll shortly discuss about it, Oscar will even accept some suggestions because, against all odds, he is ready to work as a team. Besides, his creativity is pretty close to a zero percentage, but he has heard that Carlos knows how to do a mean presentation, and that’s how teams work, right?
Combine your best skills and all that stuff about sharing each other’s strengths. Oscar wouldn’t know about that, really, since he’s always preferred the solitary work, but he doesn’t have that much of a choice right now.
Yuki asks for poke at lunch, and Oscar is a man of his word, so as soon as the clock strikes half past twelve, they’re already out the door chattering about the latest apex legends’ update.
The guy behind the cash register smiles at him sweetly when he pays, and Oscar swears he winks at him as he slides the receipt over the counter, and sure enough when he looks at it there is a phone number scribbled on the paper.
Oscar isn’t exactly interested in dating as of now, but the guy was cute, and it did boost his ego a bit, and it might not be a bad idea to go out with someone that is not his roommate, his roommate’s boyfriend, his coworker and a weird friend from university. Maybe he could even get laid, which doesn’t seem like a bad prospect at all.
It’s just the combination of all these tiny little things that makes him feel better, more confident, almost ready to let himself believe that he could change his mind about Carlos, like Lando has been trying to make him for years, now.
Maybe he could actually reconsider him, even if just by stopping viewing him as a pretentious dickhead.
But Carlos just makes it incredibly difficult, it seems.
Oscar has just started settling back behind his desk when his attention gets caught by the new email in his inbox, that definitely was not there before.
To: oscar.piastri@g... From: carlos.sainz.vasq... Sub: team project
Hi Piastri, attached you will find your part of the project. Please, do not contact me on my lunch breaks, Friday nights and weekends. I will not respond. I sincerely hope you do not need any clarification, but if you do, you can write to the email above. Good work.
[See more]
“You have to be fucking kidding me.” He almost slams his laptop shut, feeling the rage bubbling up inside of him. Logan likes to say that he’s an emotionless human being, Yuki just compared him to a freaking statue, and yet Carlos Sainz is enough to make him doubt himself and his capability to have a decent control of his own emotions.
He inhales deeply, nostrils flaring as he tries to calm himself down. Breath in, and breath out, it’s just the first day of three months.
Which means that it can go even worse, fuck.
“What is it?” Yuki asks, curiously peering over his screen to take a glance.
Oscar had almost completely forgotten about his presence, and he just groans and turns the laptop around, not finding it in himself to explain without cursing one Spanish lineage or two.
“Mh, okay, yes.” Yuki mumbles, nodding understandingly with his chin propped up on his palm.
Oscar can see his eyes moving from one side to the other of the list, a list, of things that Oscar should do, that Carlos decided Oscar should do, just to prove himself once more as the biggest prick Oscar might’ve ever met in his life.
“Well, I don’t see the problem here.”
“You don’t- what?” Oscar splutters out, blinking once, twice. Yuki’s expression doesn’t change, it stays confused, amused even. “Isn’t it obvious? He gave me a list, Yuki, a list.”
“Yes and?” Yuki asks, unsure. “I mean, I would kill to have a teammate who tells me what I have to do. Splitting parts is the worst step for a team project, in my opinion. You should be glad.”
“I should be glad?” Oscar says, he almost feels crazy about it. “Yuki, can’t you see it? He’s doing it in purpose! He probably just decided what parts he didn’t want and gave them to me so I can, like, do his dirty laundry. I am almost 100% sure he’s going to take all the credit after and he just- ugh!”
Yuki looks at him, unimpressed, standing in front of Oscar’s desk like he’s seconds away from giving him a slap on his head. When they’re like this and the height difference is completely reversed, Oscar remembers that Yuki can be incredibly frightening, too.
“Oscar, listen to me.” Yuki says, gentle. Well, not really gentle, because Oscar is pretty sure that Yuki lacks that definition, but something akin to gentleness, surely. “I think you’re a bit stressed out right now, I get it, it’s an important project-“
“My most important project.” Oscar interrupts him. He feels compelled to remind that detail, which he doesn’t find small at all.
It will dictate the rest of his career, his future, his curriculum, his self esteem. He might be exaggerating, but he’s used to take things seriously only when he manages to convince himself that they are, in fact, serious.
But now that he thinks about it, he may just need a change of perspective: maybe having to work alongside Carlos is just a challenge for himself, one last obstacle to overtake before he can finally make all his years of studying and working his back off worth it.
He just needs to impose himself and he needs to show himself and to Carlos that he knows what he’s doing, and that it can easily be a 50/50 kind of work.
Perfectly balanced, yeah.
“- and I mean, anyway, if you’re not happy with whatever he decides, you can just go and talk to the guy.”
“You know what, Yuki?” Oscar says, standing up as he shuts his laptop close, feeling thrilled about the prospect of taking reins between his hands, for once. It must feel amazing, to finally have control over something, and it only makes him want that promotion more. “I think I’m going to give him a little speech about respect.”
“That’s not what I meant, but you do you.” Yuki shrugs before finally going back to his desk, sitting hunched over his screen and probably causing himself twenty different problems to his back.
It’s a spur of the moment, Oscar is not used to get them often, he prefers to be more levelheaded, in a way, more rational, logical.
But Carlos has always managed to get under his skin in a way that he never was able to point out, like he could just crawl inside and gnaw at it and smirk that too full grin of his that some would define as charming, Oscar just finds unappealing.
If he were to admit it, he would probably find the reasons of their mutual grudge behind deeply buried thoughts that Oscar has long since tried to forget about.
Like that time he had been scratching his own wrist with his nails, too long, too uneven, waiting for Lando to give him an ounce of his attention, just for Carlos to get it all with a bat of his eyelashes and a show of his straight teeth.
And Oscar has thought that, well, he did not know how to style his hair and he had always had bunny teeth and he did not post shirtless selfies on his socials, and he did not like to hop from one club to another to spend the time on a Saturday night, so hoping that Lando could turn around and look at him and say ‘Oscar’ all British accented and tongue in the little gap was just- ridiculous.
Rationally, that should not be considered as Carlos’ fault, but Oscar just knows that he knows. He swears he had seen him, winking at Oscar jokingly before taking Lando away by the hand, tilting his head to the side, curious, wicked, and then acting like Oscar wasn’t there, not even trying go engage him into conversations.
At work, it’s quieter, at least.
The only reason why Oscar still hasn’t spilled a hot coffee all over the front of his shirt is because Carlos kind of is his superior, after all, and people would surely almost immediately suspect of him if they were to find a distressed Carlos Sainz in sight.
But they still work in different sections, and they never have to cross paths unless they happen to be in the same elevator at the same time, or by the same coffee machine at the same time. They never make small talks, sometimes Carlos just glances at him and nods his head and makes a half assed comment about his commitments for the week like he’s someone too important to be around Oscar.
And Oscar wants to strangle him or scoff at him and give him a piece of his mind, but he does not, because he’s rational and levelheaded.
On top of that, the inexperienced comment and the lack of apology thereof does still sting, though he’ll never admit it.
The upper floor is a little bit nicer than the one his and Yuki’s office is, with longer corridors and opaque glass doors and plants that are actually alive.
Well, he and Yuki had tried to keep one between their desks, but the attempt had failed after they had realised they had forgotten watering it for four weeks straight. But at least they had tried.
Oscar doesn’t really think about what he’s going to say when he pushes the door open, nor does he when he strides into the office, basically uninvited.
And then when he finally thinks about it, it’s just to remain utterly speechless at the sight of Charles half slumped down on the little couch in the corner, scrolling away on his phone.
“Hi Oscar.” Charles says, enthusiastic as all the other times he and Oscar have interacted in the past. Oscar likes him, even though he can’t help but feel slightly intimidated by his attractiveness, but Charles has always been nice to him and when he goes out with them at the pub, he’s always asking Oscar about his day and appearing actually interested about it.
Which doesn’t explain why he would be friends with such a douchebag like Carlos, but it’s not like it’s any of his business.
“Hi Charles.” Oscar replies, unsurely taking a step forward. It doesn’t change the aspect of the situation, of course, what is supposed to be Carlos’ office chair is still as empty as the first time he laid eyes on it. “Am I in the wrong place?”
“Were you looking for Carlos?” Charles asks with a strange lilt to his voice, one that is not just from his accent, Oscar can tell.
“Uh, yes?”
“Then yes you are in the right place.” Charles concludes. “But at the wrong time, he’s out for his lunch break.”
Oscar checks his watch, then he checks it another time just to be sure. “But lunch break ended fift- twenty minutes ago.”
“Yeah, but he has to do other things, so he asked for a later lunch break.”
A later lunch break.
What kind of immense prick asks for a different lunch break than all the other employees? Who does Carlos think he is?
Oscar sincerely thinks he has never met someone as full of himself as Carlos in his life, not even that one guy at his high school that went around claiming to be able to get every single girl in his bed.
Which Oscar knew for sure was a big load of bullshit because he had watched Lauren Smith reject him at their final year’s party, and Oscar had given him a drunken blowjob in a bathroom on the same night.
And still, Carlos managed to top that off.
“Alright.” Oscar says calmly. “Then I guess I can come back later.” He finishes, already turning around to get out of this office as soon as possible and go back to lament on Yuki.
But Charles doesn’t seem to be of the same opinion, clearing his throat to get his attention back on him. “Uh, we will be in a meeting later.” He says sheepishly, and then adding, “I’m sorry I didn’t know you needed him so soon.”
It’s not Charles’ fault that Carlos is a douchebag, really, and Oscar is not that immature to act like one. “Do not worry, I will come back tomorrow, then.” One deep breath, in and out. “Thanks Charles, I’ll see you around.”
“Bye Oscar!” Charles waves at him, back to his enthusiastic self.
Oscar can’t share even an ounce of that same giddiness, right now, so he just closes the door behind himself and curses the name tag on it, flipping the golden plate off.
And then once again before getting inside the elevatore.
It’s cathartic enough.
__
To: carlos.sainz.vasq... From: oscar.piastri@g... Re: team project Sub: adjustments
Hi Sainz, I was not able to find you and I would like to discuss the attachment of your last email. As it is a team project, I think that we should work, in fact, as team, unless you might’ve missed Andrea’s directives, though I am pretty sure you were sitting next to me. I sincerely hope you do not need any clarification on that. Good rest of the day.
To: oscar.piastri@g... From: carlos.sainz.vasq... Re: adjustments Sub: appointment
Hi Piastri, I guess I can concede you a talk face to face over the matter. You can meet me in my office tomorrow at half past ten. Do not be late.
To: carlos.sainz.vasq... From: oscar.piastri@g... Re: appointment
I won’t.
__
#carcar#carloscar#oscarlos#carlos sainz#carlos sainz jr#oscar piastri#my fic#ao3 fic#formula 1 rpf#lando norris#charles leclerc#yuki tsunoda#alex albon#logan sargeant
58 notes
·
View notes