#i promise my day job is one that does not allow me to forget that

[pinehutch]

Thinking about how being the person you want to be requires — at least for me — conscious, deliberate practice, and sitting with discomfort, and dialoguing with that discomfort, and sometimes actively pursuing the discomfort —

And how I don't seem to have the kind of internal measurement apparatus that tells me when the discomfort is constructive and generative vs when it's destructive and unsustainable —

And how these two things, taken together, are implicated in so many of the times of Big Suffering Feelings for me.

There's an answer to this that probably rests in what I've been seeking anyway: healthy, intrinsic self-esteem, and the belief that I'm as deserving as anyone else just because I exist as I am. But then again, one of the things that I know I value is the ability to self-determine (to the extent we can). Like, my luxury gay space communism utopia is one in which we (collectively) have organized so that we (individually) are supported in the fulfilment of ourselves and what we can give to the world.

I want to feel okay with who I am and like it's okay to want to be someone a little different. I suspect this is actually very possible for 'normal people,' whatever those are, but the thing about executive dysfunction is that motivation machine broke.

It's so rare for me to want something in a way that feels like going towards, instead of moving away from. I want to succeed at this in order to appease that; I want to submerge myself in something to avoid the pain of something else. When I want something for itself, for the joy and delight it brings to me, it's frightening both in terms of that vulnerability and in terms of what achieving it would mean. How disruptive it would be.

I'm in a bad spot this weekend, because Operation Gradually Increase Activity appears to have backfired and I'm mostly immobilized with a knee issue. It's a beautiful Saturday in late summer and I'd quite frankly I'd like to be eradicated, immolated, utterly removed and replanted, because I've spent most of 2023 feeling ashamed of how I tried to take (force?) an Anais-Nin-risk-of-blossom when the soil conditions weren't right and it seems like that ruined what needed to be tended.

I've felt amused, delighted, tender, touched, flattered, loving this year, but the last time I remember feeling happy was, I don't know, two months ago? Maybe more? It lasted for about half an hour, and I fell asleep.

In a notebook, I have a two-page spread laid out with different dimensions of my life, and what I'd like them to look like, and when, and the degree to which each of them is substantially different from what my life currently looks like is something I haven't shared with anyone. None of them are about having, all of them are about living and doing but really, it's about creating the conditions in which I know I tend to feel happy.

I know that all of this means I should be getting back on the gratitude practice wagon, that I should be taking more hot girl walks (when I can, uh, walk again), that I need to resume the doing of happiness. The awful thing about adulthood, at least for me, at least since age 35, has been that there is never enough resilience* rebuilt before the next thing falls apart. The next grief, the next disaster, the next loss, the next impossible task. I assume we all live this way, and I just happen to be bad at navigating it.

Thank god there are still words, though. The word machine is not broke, it is a vintage model and the motor turns over every single time I turn it back on, eventually. Thank god we can sing about our calamities; it doesn't erase them, but at least it makes music.

[amirasainz]

Hi literally get so excited when you update! Can you write one where charles x alexandra x reader where charles and alex are away for an event and forget that it's the reader birthday ans only remember when someone tells them birthday it and they try and make it up to her.

Hi loves. I hope you enjoy this little piece. Let me know what you think. Comments are always apreciated!I'm sorry,but the Sydney Sweeny picture was perfect, so I had to include it😉

Also, question (and please answer me that in the comments), does anyone read what I write before the story? Like the little message here? I'm just curious❤️

Enjoy reading and send me requests!!❤️

-XoXo

The Birthday disaster

You couldn’t believe it. They weren’t here. They didn’t call, text, or even send you a freaking letter. Your own boyfriend and girlfriend forgot your birthday. And not just any birthday, it was your 21 birthday. Instead of celebrating with Alex, Charles, and all of your friends in a vibrant club, you were sitting on the balcony of your apartment. Despite the cold wind hitting your bare skin mercilessly, thanks to the cute short dress you wore today, you couldn’t bring yourself to walk back inside.

Of course, your friends tried to get you to come out with them to celebrate your birthday properly. But it just hurt too much, and to be honest, your mind was too tired and sad for any kind of festivity.

When Charles and Alex first informed you about the event hosted by one of Alex’s friends, they eagerly asked you to join them. Unfortunately, your job didn’t allow you to tag along, which both of them understood. However, they promised you that they would return today at around 5 o’clock. To be honest, you thought they had something special planned for your birthday. But last night, at around 11 pm, you received a text from Alex, informing you that they would be staying longer in Venice, where the event was held.

At first, you thought this was some kind of joke. Maybe they wanted you to think that they weren’t able to celebrate with you, only to surprise you with a birthday party. But sadly, when you woke up this morning, nothing happened. Throughout the day, there was complete silence between you and them.

Your group of friends, who had been with you a few hours ago to at least celebrate your birthday a little bit, tried to convince you to go out and party with them. Before you could agree, you got a notification from Instagram. You were tagged quite often in a post showing Alex and Charles at the event. They looked so happy and carefree, making you feel even more numb.

Despite their best efforts, your friends left after half an hour, after you reassured them with phrases like “Yes, I will take care of myself,” “Yes, I will call you if I need anything,” and “No, you don’t have to worry about me. I’m completely fine.” They knew you were anything but fine; however, they also knew that you needed to be alone right now.

So here you are, sitting alone in the cold with your only companions being the vodka bottle you brought with you and the relentless wind hitting your skin. “Happy fucking 21st birthday to me, I guess,” you muttered to yourself, staring out at the sea.

“Oh my god, Lisa. You truly outdid yourself,” complimented Alex, her friend. And it was true. The event was filled with beautiful flowers and lights, giving the room a fairy-like appearance. The soft glow of the lights reflected off the petals, creating a magical ambiance that made everyone feel like they had stepped into an enchanted garden. Charles, who stood next to his girlfriend, only brought her closer to him and said, “Yeah, I have to agree. I’m 100% sure YN would have loved it.” “You are so right, love. I wish she was here with us,” agreed Alex, her voice tinged with a hint of sadness.

“Wait, I’m confused. So there is nothing wrong between you guys and YN?” asked Lisa, her brow furrowed in confusion. Alex and Charles shared a look with each other, both of them equally puzzled. “No, why would there be anything wrong with us?” Alex replied, her tone defensive. “Oh, I just thought you had a fight and this is the reason why you are here and not with YN today. But I must have been wrong…” Linda’s voice trailed off, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment. She shared a look with her partner Mary, both of them realizing the gravity of the situation.

“Wait, stop. Pause. Why would we be with YN tonight? You invited us to your event and we are here. I don’t get what’s going on right now,” said Alex, her frustration mounting. It felt like Mary and Lisa knew something she and Charles didn’t. Mary, who was now also becoming more annoyed with how the two of them acted before them, didn’t take any nonsense from Alex.

Without hesitation, she looked straight into Alex’s eyes and told her with an ice-cold voice, “Well, we weren’t expecting you to show up today because we thought that you would be busy celebrating YN’s 21 birthday today. But from the looks of it, it seems like you forgot your own girlfriend’s birthday. So don’t talk to us with that rude tone of yours. At least we remember each other’s birthdays.” With that, Mary took Lisa by the hand and left, leaving Alex and Charles standing there in stunned silence.

Alex and Charles were left behind, both staring at the space where the couple used to be a few seconds ago. Both of them felt a wave of guilt and shame wash over them. How could they forget their own girlfriend’s birthday? Turning on their phones, they saw the flood of messages they had received from not only their fans but also their friends, YN’s friends, and their families. Each message was a painful reminder of their oversight.

“We messed up so badly,” muttered Charles, looking at Alex with a pained expression. The woman could only nod, still speechless. Charles took her arm and gently but firmly led her out of the room. “We have to go to her. ASAP,” Alex told Charles, who was already a step ahead of her and had their jackets in hand. With that, the couple left the event, both feeling a deep sense of remorse. How could they forget their girl’s birthday?

As they hurried to their car, Alex’s mind raced with thoughts of how to make it up to YN. She knew it would take more than just an apology to mend the hurt they had caused. Charles, too, was lost in his thoughts, thinking of ways to show YN how much she meant to them. They both knew that they had a lot of making up to do, but they were determined to do whatever it took to make things right.

At around 1 am, the couple finally arrived home. The ride back had been silent, the air in the car feeling oppressively thick, making it hard to breathe. They parked their car in the garage and, without hesitation, jumped out of the vehicle, racing towards the elevator. The few minutes it took to reach their front door felt like an eternity, each second stretching painfully.

When they entered the apartment, everything was shrouded in darkness. A figure sat on the balcony, barely visible in the dim light. Charles immediately sat next to YN, while Alex kneeled in front of her. YN didn’t even look at them before taking a gulp from the nearly empty bottle of vodka. “Hey love, I think you’ve had enough for tonight,” whispered Charles, gently trying to take the bottle away from the now 21-year-old girl.

YN shook her head, her voice trembling as she reminded them, “No. NO, you do not get to tell me what I can and cannot do. Not after you forgot about me.” “Baby, we didn’t forget about you,” Alex tried, her eyes already filling with tears. YN only laughed, her own tears streaming down her face. “No, Alexandra. You do not get to tell me that after you forgot my birthday, and you certainly don’t get to cry.” “Ok, let’s all calm down,” Charles attempted again, his voice soothing but firm.

“No Charles! I don’t want to calm down. You both forgot about me. You two promised me that something like this would never happen to us. You promised me that you would always love me. You promised me that the age gap didn’t bother you when we started dating when I was 19. But look at us. You already broke one of your promises. How can I be sure that you won’t break another one?” With that, YN broke down in tears. Her whole body shook with the force of her sobs, her head held in her hands.

Charles and Alex immediately moved to comfort her. “YN, breath. We are so freaking sorry. I guarantee you, we didn’t mean for something like this to happen. We were all so busy with our jobs and social lives that we didn’t mean to forget something so important,” Charles began, his voice filled with regret.

Alex took YN’s head into her hands, gently wiping away her tears. “We love you more than anything in this world. You are our air and our heart. And we will apologize for the rest of our lives if we have to,” she said, her voice breaking with emotion. YN only whispered, “I love you guys too.” Alex didn't hesitate before kissing her girlfriend. after a moment the they pulled apart.

Charles turned her face towards him, speaking softly, “And we didn’t lie when we told you the age gap didn’t bother us. And we certainly didn’t lie when we promised you that we would always love you, ok?” After YN nodded, Letting Charles also kiss her. This kiss was filled with as much love as Alex, just a bit more urgently but still gentle. After their kiss, the three of them cuddled close to each other, finding solace in their shared warmth.

It would take some time before everything was alright between the three of them again. But for now, sitting together and watching the city lights flicker in the distance was the perfect way to start healing.

[shatterinseconds]

“You’re a mess, darling.” Lance smiles up at him, a big toothy smile that Keith has always loved to see especially when directed towards him, even if he refuses to show it.

“That should be my line to you.” Keith chuckles through the worry lodged inside his throat. The little light that spills into the cave does a good job of disguising the terrible state Lance is currently in. Keith sits on his heels beside Lance laying flat on the rocky ground. He works quietly to staunch the bleeding on Lance’s right side.

Sucking in a sharp breath, Lance winces when Keith presses too hard. “Nah, you’d never use pet names, and I–I always look flawless.”

Keith hums his response, rifling through their emergency pack for medical supplies. He peels off the sterile packaging and slaps the thick bandage over the ugly wound. It’s not his best work but Lance is stable for now.

“Keith, I need to tell—”

“Hey, you’re going to be okay.” Keith snaps his head up, immediately interrupting Lance’s train of thought and doesn’t feel bad about it. To soothe him, he brushes the hair plastered to Lance’s forehead. Blood crusts parts of his hair from a head wound from earlier in the battle, but the main problem is the nasty stab wound from a jagged pipe the Galra soldier improvised with when Lance had shot the Galra’s blaster hand and Keith was too far to stop it all from happening. “It’s not a fatal injury. The team’s arriving soon.”

Those two facts are the only things that have stopped Keith’s mind from running into a free fall of worry and anxiety. The injury will leave a scar but Lance will be alive to bear it, and in the end, that is the most important part.

Lance nods, a little more clear headed though his eyes squeeze closed when he shifts his body. “No, I know,” he replies, starting to become breathless though his pulse has not weakened. “I still… I still need to say it.”

“What if I don’t want you to say it now? What if I’d rather hear you say it once you’re all healed and healthy and able to annoy the shit out of me?”

“Why’re you so certain you know what I’m going to say?” Lance turns his head to properly glare at Keith. Irritation pinches his mouth. “I could be confessing that my favorite color has been orange this entire time. I’ve been fooling you all.”

Keith shakes his head as he allows his hand to fall from Lance’s warm forehead and traces down to his jawline, wiping off some of the dirt sticking to his sweaty skin. “‘Cause I know you and I know myself, and I’ve a feeling our secrets are not so different from one another’s.”

“Someone’s feeling confident,” Lance scoffs when he turns away to stare more at the cave ceiling. A smirk slides onto his face and Keith, probably with the help of latent Galra genes, is able to see that as clear as day. “Maybe I shouldn’t say it at all if you already know.”

“Mm, don’t be stubborn.” He checks Lance’s pulse for the nth time; his fingers linger against his neck, pleased by the sure sign of life.

“That’s your best quality not mine,” Lance mutters and Keith snorts before trying to appease him. He is injured after all. Keith should probably stop trying to have so much fun at his expense. But it's also the only way he’s going to get through this with his sanity intact and not think about Lance injured and future injuries that might not be so survivable. Keith leans over him to make sure Lance doesn’t miss a single thing he’s about to say.

“If you promise not to forget this moment, you can tell me the minute you step out of the healing pod, alright?”

Suddenly, Lance sits up, biting his lower lip against a yelp of pain, and Keith tries to push him back to the ground, but Lance shoves off his help. He glares at Keith, dark eyes shining in the dark, as he says, “I never forget anything when it comes to you.”

That admission stuns Keith for a moment, immediately recalling another similar situation of injury and confessions, and he starts to grin, one of the sardonic variety. “Good, I’m glad we’ve discovered what a big liar you are.” 

Lance still has the strength to roll his eyes. “I’m gonna say it and you better be ready, Mullet. There’ll be no take backs. All honest truth.”

“I’m looking forward to it.”

[losersroom]

hi hello it's max. uhm so that ask bout brodsfabes mpreg fic idea (especially the whole baby trapping part) stayed on my mind all day and reallyyyyy got me thinking. so. i, at least, feel like it would be pretty easy to tell who's on birth control in omegaverse cause idk maybe it would change the omega's scent a bit. of course if it didn't it would be easier to baby trap and all but the idea of brods knowing that fabes is lying to him about being on birth control and going through with it anyways just kinda makes my brain all staticy. almost maybe going through with it in a "you wanted it that bad and here's the consequences of what you wanted" and all that. but uh. anyways not to ramble in your inbox but of course i'll eat anything you post lol

HI HELLO

(cw: breeding talk. i'm not putting this under a cut because it's After Dark hours over here but you've been warned)

yeah like. the thing is. brock and jonas aren't together in this scenario, right. there's a vibe, they both feel the attraction, but during the regular season they're both on suppressants all the time and it holds the instinctive alpha/omega desire back. and jonas has always thought, well, he's the veteran, he's older, he has to be responsible- he's an alpha, and this omega rookie is his responsibility to protect, like a sheepdog given a lamb to watch. his job to make sure no one takes advantage of his partner. his job to make sure brock can be safe on the ice and in the locker room as an unmated omega and not have to worry about having his extremely promising career derailed by heat and pregnancy, the physical complications of it, the problems that come with having to take months and months off while the body changes and then heals and maybe never works quite the same way again. and anyway, he's swedish. when his career is over and brock is still in his prime, jonas will be going back to a foreign country, and brock wouldn't want to go with him. it would be unfair to claim someone that he couldn't keep. he's used to letting go of things he wanted but that wouldn't work out for him anyway- with matt, with suter.

but brock does not want to let it go. he doesn't want jonas to go back to sweden and for them to never see each other again. he is convinced that jonas is his One True Alpha and that fate convened to put them together just like in the stories and he wants that man's baby. so like, maybe it's the end of the season and they've been mathematically eliminated from playoff contention, again. and maybe nothing matters. so maybe brock is going to go off his suppressants and show up at jonas' apartment drenched in the scent of his heat, and just... see what happens. so it's less like, lying to him, and more like hoping jonas gets drunk and stupid enough off his scent to forget all the reasons why this is a bad idea and fuck him anyway

but now that you mention it the version where they're both pretending he's on birth control even though they're both very aware that he's not is also. that's a lot. like they're allowed to want it if they pretend they're ignorant of the consequences. jonas getting off a little on how much brock wants to be bred, to arrange this whole charade about it. a+

[kwonzoshi]

Here is my contribution for Day 2 of Wille’s month. The prompt is ‘Summer.’

@youngroyals-events.

He didn’t know how he did it but Wilhelm managed to convince his parents and the royal court to let him spend the summer with Simon. Of course Malin had to be there but if there was one thing about her, she knew how to be discreet, and was always down to help him surprise his boyfriend. He exited the sleek sedan as Malin grabbed his enormous suitcase that held every single thing he could possibly need for his vacation. He fixed his hair before knocking on the door, smiling as Linda greeted him. They embraced and exchanged pleasantries as she welcomed him in, letting him know that Simon was back in his room playing his online games with Ayub and Rosh.

He made his way down the familiar hallway after taking his suitcase from Malin. He couldn’t help but grin as he listened to the sweetest boy he knew spew obscenities at the people he was playing with.

“Ayub, I swear to FUCKING god if you get killed one more time I’m forfeiting the game. I promise you.” A moment of silence followed by, “No no no Rosh you can’t defend his playing, not today. He’s fucking up our KD. He’s died THIRTY SEVEN times and only killed TWO… THIRTY SEVEN DEATHS!! TWO KILLS!!” Simon exclaimed, hands shaking. Wilhelm chuckled as he quietly stepped into the room, sneaking behind an unsuspecting Simon. He wrapped his arms around Simon’s waist and pulled him against his body, causing Simon to yelp.

Simon whipped his head around, jumping to his feet, “WILHELM?!” he said, shock covering every inch of his face “What?!” He yanked his headset off, completely forgetting about the game or the anger he felt towards Ayub’s shitty playing. That anger was replaced with surprise, joy, and love. “What are you doing here?!” He asked, his face immediately breaking into a smile that could outshine the sun.

Wilhelm beamed back, reaching a hand out to grab Simon, “I convinced my mom to let me spend the summer with you.” He said quietly as he pulled him into his arms, Finally… he thought to himself, inhaling Simon’s scent. He continued speaking into Simon’s neck, “Part of the deal was that Malin had to come with and we have to travel with the royal driver but…” he planted soft kisses on Simon’s jaw as he spoke, “we…”, the kisses traveled up his cheek “have…” then up to his ear, “the entire summer together.”

Simon’s head fell back, as his body shivered. “Wait…” he said, barely above a whisper, “we-” he cleared his throat but that did nothing for his head, “we’re spending the summer together?” Wilhelm pulled back to look into Simon’s eyes, a bright smile on his face.

“Yes,” he responded simply, allowing his hands to toy with Simon’s curls. “Weren’t you the one that said that you didn’t want to have yet another boring summer? I’m here to make sure that doesn’t happen”

Simon smiled, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend’s neck, “Yea.. that was me. So… what’s the plan, then?”

Wilhelm wrapped his arms around Simon’s waist, pulling him close once again. He leaned forward slightly, “How does…” he whispered in Simon’s ear, “...Paris, sound?”

Simon jerked back, his chocolate brown eyes frowning up at Wilhelm’s honey ones. “Paris?!” He repeated, dumbfounded. “Yo-you’re taking me to Paris?”

“Oh, käresta, I’m taking you all over Europe, we’re just starting with Paris,” Wilhelm kissed Simon’s furrowed brows, “You better start packing, we leave in the morning.”

“Wille, you know that I can’t just… up and leave.” Simon said, brows still furrowed. “I have to get a job and with Sara being gone, I can’t just leave my mom by herself.”

“Simon… you should know me better than to think I didn’t have a plan in place for this.” Wilhelm responded, gently cupping Simon’s cheek. “After everything that’s happened, I made sure to make arrangements for your mom’s safety. That was priority number one. She’s had a guard tailing her day in and day out, even if she didn’t know it. I’ve made sure she’s safe.” He let his thumb caress Simon’s cheek.

“Really?” Simon said, unable to hide his surprise as his brows raised.

“Yes, really.” Wilhelm gave him a small smile. “I also already talked to Linda and she’s okay with you going. She said that with the settlement money, things will be fine. She doesn’t want you to have to keep sacrificing your summers if you don’t have to.” At Simon’s glare, he raised his hands in mock surrender, “her words not mine, I swear. She also wants us to get her souvenirs. Magnets, keychains and all of that corny stuff.”

Simon’s expression softened, excitement slowly creeping in. “She’s really okay with this?” Wilhelm nodded, resting his hands back on Simon’s waist.

“Now, get to packing and get excited cause we’re going to the city of love.” He planted a soft kiss on the tip of Simon’s nose before pulling away.

Simon laughed at Wilhelm’s emphasis on the word love, shaking his head as he stepped out of their embrace, grabbing his suitcase from under his bed. Wilhelm watched as he packed, admiring how neat Simon was. For the first time in a long time, Wilhelm was looking forward to his summer vacation and it was all because he was going to spend it with Simon.

They made their way through Europe, just as Wilhelm promised. Starting with Paris, where they ate croissants , eclairs and kissed under the Eiffel Tower, then making their way to Belgium, Luxembourg, Germany and Italy. All in that order. Wilhelm spared no expense for Simon, buying him everything he asked for. Simon had never been spoiled like this and he was letting himself enjoy as much as he could. Not that Wilhelm allowed him to protest. They had the best time traveling together, buying the corniest souvenirs for everyone and making unforgettable memories.

[exhaustedpirate]

my mom is dating a vampire

another entry for the CS Spooky/Autumnal Bingo, this time the prompt was 'bats' - once again, i got a little carried away with it and this turned out more emotional than i expected (but also i'll never apologise for providing yall with some captaincobraswan) a million thanks to @ultraluckycatnd for betaing!

rated T | 9059 words

also on AO3

summary: Emma Swan is dating Killian Jones. Which Henry is completely fine with.

On a completely unrelated note, how does one get rid of a vampire?

Emma Swan is dating. Henry is sure of it.

There’s a significant increase of flowers in their home - significant because there hadn’t been any before. Anything from red roses to buttercups fills every available surface in improvised vases. They are running out of space.

“Who’s giving you all of these?” Henry asks as his mom fills an empty can of soup with water to put half a dozen forget-me-nots in. 

“Just a friend.” But there is a decidedly smitten smile on her face as she tries to push the other occupants of the kitchen windowsill aside to make space for their new friend.

“Maybe your friend should relax on the flowers before our apartment is filled with bees.” So maybe Henry is brooding. He’s 13, he’s allowed to brood; it’s part of the job requirement even.

“Don’t be a grump, kid.” Emma taps his nose with her index finger and stands next to him to look at the flowers surrounding their living space. “Aren’t they beautiful?”

Henry only groans in response.

During her days off, Aunt Ruby babysits - it mostly involves eating snacks and watching movies or playing video games together - while Emma obsesses over her looks. She never did that before. Ruby has to give her a hushed pep talk to get her out of the house. 

Ruby knows. But he doesn’t. He learned long ago that his aunt is impossible to interrogate.

When she comes back, Ruby leaves after securing a promise to hear all about it the day after. Henry doesn’t get those promises, he only gets evasive answers. And when she kisses his forehead in greeting, she smells differently. A spicy scent that he knows is not hers. She’s been smiling into her phone and talking late into the night - either texting or calling. 

She looks…happy.

---

“The usual, Swans?” 

It was tradition. Every Sunday night, they would go to Granny’s for dinner and talk about the week before.

They had had a “monkey problem” three years ago - Walsh Ozman had appeared to be a great attentive guy, helping Henry with homework and playing video games. But only when his mom was watching. When she was gone, he was dismissive and rude, always making him feel like an obstacle in his mom’s life. In his gullibility, he had kept it from his mother until she caught him crying in his room. He told her everything.

While Walsh Ozman got berated in his place of work as well as a broken nose, Henry got closer to his mother. Emma had felt guilty for not having seen the signs before, especially considering he had also been cheating on her. And while Henry didn’t blame his mother for having been in love, he wasn’t complaining about getting more of her time - especially without monkeys around.

So Sunday nights became their time to talk - about nothing, about everything, about their week, about the upcoming week, or about Henry’s unrequited crush on Violet or when his crush became requited. It was their time for honesty.

But his mom is keeping a secret.

When she jumps at Ruby’s customary greeting, Henry frowns. Emma’s quick to pretend as if nothing happened. “Uhm, not yet, Ruby. We’re, uh,” she glances towards Henry, “we’re waiting for someone.”

They must share a sign that Henry wasn’t made aware of because Ruby seems to know who that someone is. His frown only deepens when his aunt Ruby leaves without further questions.

“We’re waiting for someone?”

“Well,” his mom wrings her hands nervously and takes a deep breath. “I met someone.” 

“A boyfriend?” He raises his eyebrow.

Emma tucks her hair behind her ear and a blush crosses over her cheeks. “Yeah, a boyfriend.” There’s a quick smile on her lips at the label. “We started dating a month ago. I, uhm, thought it was time that you two met.”

There’s a hopeful expression on Emma’s face and Henry is finding it hard to breathe. His mother hasn’t dated since the monkey disaster, at least nothing serious enough to reach the “meet the son” stage. He should have expected this - considering the flowers, the dates, the smiles, all the evidence - yet all he can see is Walsh’s cruel smile and hear his hurtful words.

“Henry?”

Maybe it’s just the unexpectedness of it all. It’s sudden, right? Why is it so hot?

“Henry.” His mom takes hold of his hand and his wide eyes focus on hers. The hope is gone and there’s only nerves there. “Are you ok, kid?”

“I, uh, I need to go to the bathroom.” Henry jumps out of his seat.

“Henry, a-”

“I’m fine.”

He rushes through the arch at the back of the diner before he sees his mom’s concerned expression again, passing through the bathrooms towards the back door. The night air is cold but he takes a deep breath in and it releases the weight on his chest. He focuses on breathing, on feeling and loosens his fists when it doesn’t feel like he’s going to suffocate anymore.

The night sky is littered with stars and he’s happy to live in a small town instead of the city. A colony of bats flies through the sky and Henry frowns - he’s never seen bats before. They disappear over the next building - an ice cream shop - and he looks up at the sky again.

“You can see Cassiopeia from here.” Henry startles at the voice of a man crossing the alley behind “Any Given Sundae” towards the diner. “Apologies, lad, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“Oh, uh,” the strange accent has him blinking repeatedly. “You didn’t.”

As the man approaches him with a friendly smile, he picks up a familiar cologne. He seems to recognise Henry as he gets a closer look at his face.

“You’re Henry.”

Bats, a strange man, and a scent he recognises. It’s all too much for him. “You’re British.” The man has a nice laugh. Henry regains his focus. “You know me?”

“Well,” the man scratches the back of his neck in a nervous move, “I know of you.” Henry frowns. “Emma’s told me a lot about you. I’ve been looking forward to meeting you.”

Mom’s new boyfriend. Of course.

“Henry!” His mom’s panicked voice echoes from the other side of the door and the man - her boyfriend - frowns, stretching an arm around him to open the door.

“Swan?”

Emma appears at the door and spares only a surprised look towards the stranger before crouching in front of him. “What are you doing out here? I thought you were in the bathroom.”

He notices, out the corner of his eye, how the man takes a step back, an attempt at privacy. He remembers Walsh’s overbearing presence everytime his mom tried to talk to him, or if they wanted a moment together. “I just needed some air.” He shrugs.

His mom glances towards her boyfriend again before she turns to him again with a serious look. “Do you want to go home? We can order in and watch a movie, just the two of us.”

He had seen the hope on her face when she had talked about the man now standing a couple of steps away, had seen that hope fall when he rushed out. Henry shakes his head.

She cups his face and looks into his eyes. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I want Granny’s fries.” His smile is soft but genuine. He trusts his mom. 

And when she smiles brightly at him and kisses his forehead, he knows he made the right decision. She stands up straight and they turn towards the man who looks at them with a fond and patient expression, hands stuffed in his jacket.

“This isn’t exactly what I envisioned your meeting would be but,” Emma chuckles before gesturing for the man to approach them. “Henry, this is Killian Jones. Killian, this is my son, Henry.”

He has a nice smile too, it reaches his eyes, makes his face softer and younger. “It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Henry.”

He takes his outstretched hand. It’s cold. “Same.”

“Now that that’s out of the way,” Emma claps her hands and the delighted smile on her face is infectious. “Let’s go back inside, it’s freezing out here.”

Right, it’s cold. Cold hands. 

Henry follows them back to their table and watches as Killian keeps a respectful distance from his mother. Ruby struts her way to their table with a wide grin on her face and his mom sighs in defeat.

“I guess you don’t need to see the menu, girl, you already have such a fine dish here.” Killian blushes up to his ears and Emma hides her face in her hands. “I’m Ruby Lucas, you?” 

“Uhm, Killian, Killian Jones.” He nods in greeting.

“I’ve heard a lot about you.” 

His mother groans from her hideout and he smirks, he’s never seen his mother acting so childishly. “Didn’t Granny warn you about being professional once before?” Henry sasses towards his aunt.

Ruby leans towards him as she keeps her eyes on the bashful couple on the opposite side. “She makes an exception for you guys, especially when it makes your mother act like a teenager.”

“Alright, alright,” Emma gestures with her hands as she glares at the other woman whose grin only widens in response. “We’ll have the usual. Killian?”

“I’ll take whatever you recommend, lass,” he answers towards Ruby. “Just nothing with garlic.”

“Hope you like surprises,” Ruby sweeps up all the menus in a fluid move. “Be right back.”

“That was my best friend,” Emma explains. “I’m sorry, she can be a bit much.” 

Walsh hadn’t liked Ruby, and went so far as to manufacture an argument between the two in order to pull them apart, as they learned later. He remembered the string of muffled curses - that he had not meant to hear, of course - coming from the living room the day Emma told Ruby everything. He imagined that his aunt had wanted to rip Walsh apart limb from limb. But, just like with his mom, it brought them all closer.

“Nonsense,” Killian waves away Emma’s excuse with an amused smile. “She’s delightful.”

His mom’s shoulders deflate and he wonders if she had the same thought as him. The movement has Henry noticing the scars on Killian’s left hand. 

“Wow, what happened to your hand?” 

“Henry!” his mom scolds but Killian just keeps smiling.

“It’s alright, Swan.” She bites her lip and Killian’s smile softens. “It’s natural for the boy to be curious.” He turns to Henry, pulling up his sleeve so that Henry can see how the scars continue up to his forearm. “It was an accident in the navy.”

“You were in the navy?”

“Aye.” His grin is proud and Henry finds himself smiling back. “We were attacked and I got caught in an explosion.”

“Cool,” Henry breathes out and the man chuckles. “I mean, it’s not cool that you got into trouble but cool that you survived an explosion.”

There’s a shadow that crosses Killian’s face and Henry’s chest tightens at the thought of having put that expression on his face. “I didn’t lose my arm but,” he clenches his fist, a slow movement that has his hand shaking until it finally closes and Killian winces in pain, “it’s little consolation.” 

“Okay,” Emma takes hold of his mangled hand and Killian’s face clears as he looks at her. The pain seems to leave his body at her touch. Interesting. “I can’t believe we’re starting with tragic backstories.”

Henry and Killian share a laugh. He does have a nice laugh. “What? Did you plan the whole dinner, Mom? Did we go off script?”

Emma covers his face with her hand and pushes on it until his back hits the back of the chair and his laughter intensifies. “No,” she scoffs in faux indignation. “I just thought we’d start with the basics.”

“Apologies, Swan.” Huh, they have nicknames. “We’ll follow the rules.” He winks and she rolls her eyes and it looks like he’s used to it.

And that’s how, with some delicious food in front of them, he learns that Killian is 32 to his mother’s 30, has been in Storybrooke for a year after travelling the world all his life, loves the sea and has a boat. 

“Ship, my boy,” he corrects.

“I’m sorry, Captain,” Henry mockingly salutes and Killian narrows his eyes at him even as he is fighting a smile. “Maybe we can go out on your ship together sometime?” He looks hopeful between his mom and Killian. “It’s your birthday soon, Mom, we could celebrate on Killian’s ship!”

Emma bites her lip and Killian smiles. 

“You’re always welcome aboard my ship, love.”

She nudges his shoulder with a smile. “It’s still two weeks away, we’ll see.”

“I’m counting that as a ‘yes’,” Henry grins victoriously. “What about your birthday, Killian?”

“Oh.” The man frowns and scratches behind his ear. “Well, I don’t know the exact day but it’s sometime in Summer. Late July?”

Henry frowns. “What do you mean, you don’t know?”

He chuckles nervously. “I lost my birth certificate when my house burned up when I was young. The foster family I was with for years after that didn’t care much for birthdays so all I have to go with is a vague memory of a hot day, a picnic in a garden and a delicious strawberry cake.”

“Wow,” Henry breathes out. “That’s crazy. Why haven’t you tried to get another copy?”

“He says he forgot,” Emma answers instead. “Can you believe it?”

Killian shrugs, even as his cheeks turn crimson. “I kept putting it off and I haven’t needed it yet.” He puts on a charming smile that doesn’t affect his mom the way he intended.

“If someone comes along to arrest you over that, I’m not bailing you out.” She crosses her arms and raises her eyebrow at him.

Killian winks surreptitiously at Henry before draping an arm over the back of the booth inching closer to Emma. “If my punishment is being parted from you, I shall fix it.”

His mom rolls her eyes but he can see how charmed she is by his words and the way he plays with a strand of her hair. Henry had never seen her act this way with anyone. “Yeah, yeah, you think you’re so charming with your blue eyes, your smile and your antiquated vocabulary.”

“I mean, it’s working.” Henry smirks and it grows into a grin when Killian turns to him with a conspiratorial smile. And there’s something to the fact that he’s not restricted from their moments, to how he doesn’t feel like he’s intruding.

They laugh together when Emma huffs. “If I knew the two of you would get along so well, I would have thought twice about introducing you.”

Killian raises his left hand to high-five Henry which he does gladly. And he gets some satisfaction from the fact that the man isn’t hiding his injury from him. Even more when Emma rolls her eyes once more.

“Any desserts, Swans?”

Ruby stands next to their table with a self-satisfied smile and he thinks she likes to see them together. Henry doesn’t hate it.

“What do you say, kid?”

“We could go for ice cream…” Henry puts his best puppy-dog eyes and isn’t distracted by the way Killian chuckles at it.

Emma fumbles. “It’s October…”

“And we could take a walk to the docks,” Killian supplies.

“It’s October.”

“You can always huddle for warmth,” Ruby smirks.

“Guess we’re eating ice cream and walking close to the cold sea air,” Emma sighs in defeat and Henry shares a grin with his partners in crime. “How much do we owe you, Rubes?”

“My treat, Swan.” Killian hands over his credit card to Ruby before she can reply. His aunt winks at Emma and struts back behind the counter.

“Killian, y-”

“No use arguing, Swan.” He leans back with a self-satisfied smirk. “This is a special occasion and I want to treat my girlfriend and her son to dinner.”

Emma blushes even if she tries to hide it, crossing her arms and looking into his eyes. “I’m paying for ice cream then.”

Killian shares a wink with Henry. “We’ll see.”

Emma huffs but there is a smile on her face.

Henry remembers when they went to the zoo 3 years ago. He had missed the class trip because of the flu and had cried for a whole day. His mom then planned a zoo trip for the weekend, just the two of them. Walsh had weaselled his way into coming with them, claiming that it was supposed to be their weekend together. So it became the three of them.

He had refused to pay for his ticket since it wasn’t his initial plan and Henry still remembered the way Walsh had accused him of ruining their weekend on purpose, of being spoiled, when his mom wasn’t around. Henry didn’t let his mother see him cry when they got home. He felt a little vindicated when, at the monkey exhibit, one of the monkeys threw their poop at the exhibit glass, aiming towards Walsh’s head - and caused a teenager to throw up in his shoes. 

And if he paid for anything, there was an expectation of retribution. 

Unlike Walsh, Killian looks genuine with his offer. No ulterior motives in sight.

It is in fact cold when they leave the diner. Emma tightens the scarf around his neck to protect him and digs into her coat for their gloves. She fusses over Killian’s unseasonal outfit choice - from the couple of buttons he left open on his shirt, to his flimsy leather jacket, to his exposed ears - over the few steps it takes to reach “Any Given Sundae”.

Killian’s smile is wide as she argues with him over his choices. He enjoys the way she expresses her care for him, her concern, and allows her to button his shirt and hold his hands in order to warm them with her own. And Henry knows that, for all that Emma has been happier and free with her feelings, she still hides it through her fussing. He thinks Killian knows too.

Emma abandons all concern when they reach the door to the ice cream shop. She all but locks the business’ door in both their faces to keep him from paying for them. It’s a good thing they know the owner and that his mom is the Sheriff.

“Get me some red berries ice cream?” Killian pouts as he speaks through the glass and laughs when his mother blows him a kiss from the other side. He chuckles when she turns to the counter. “She’s stubborn.”

“You say that like you’re surprised,” Henry chuckles.

“I’m just always amazed by your mother,” Killian shrugs with a smile as he leans against the wall. “And very thankful to have met her.”

“She looks happy.”

“She makes me happy too. And I’m very happy to have met you too.”

Henry blushes and can’t help but wonder if he’s just putting up a front for him, despite the fact that Killian hasn’t shown to be prone to that sort of behaviour. Then again, neither did Walsh. “I didn’t thank you for paying for dinner, you didn’t have to-”

“Nonsense,” Killian interrupts with a disarming smile. “I already said that I wanted to do it.”

“Yeah, but-”

“No buts.” Killian smiles as he places a hand on Henry’s shoulder and it feels less heavy and more comforting than it felt before from a man who had claimed to want to join their family. “You deserve to be cared for, my boy, and I’ll aim to remind you of that. You and your mother.” 

The door to the ice cream shop opens and Henry is glad for the distraction. He feels tears prickling the corners of his eyes and he knows that these are happy tears. That his coat isn’t responsible for the warmth in his chest and that he doesn’t have to look into the face of a man who looks and feels too good to be true.

A bird flies overhead as Killian helps Emma balance the small cups. Henry is reminded of the bats. Of the cold hands. Of the unknown date of birth. 

“Here you go, kid, rocky road.” His mom hands him the small cup, distracting him.

They walk in a line, thankful that there aren’t many people around to be annoyed by them taking over the whole sidewalk. Henry walks between Killian and Emma as they all chat about their weeks. He learns Killian works as a bartender at the Rabbit Hole and that Sundays and Mondays are his nights off.

“That means you can join our weekly dinners.” Henry exclaims.

Emma whips her head towards him and her mouth is parted in surprise. Killian is suspiciously quiet on the other side. “A-are you sure, kid? I mean, these dinners-”

“I mean, you don’t have to,” Henry backtracks as he glances between the two adults before focusing on his half-eaten ice cream and shrugs. “I-I just thought that you might like to join our traditions or something.”

There’s his hand again. And when it goes from his shoulder to his back and back up in a revering and comforting move, Henry has to swallow through the lump in his throat before looking up at Killian, who waits until he does to nod. “I would be honoured, my boy.”

Is it too early to have a favourite word from a man you just met?

His mother sniffs from his other side and clears her throat. “That damn sea air,” she grumbles when they turn to look at her. 

The tension vanishes as they share a conspiratorial smirk before they change subjects. Henry tries not to mourn the loss of that damn hand on his shoulder as they return to their ice creams. 

He learns that Killian doesn’t have any family left alive, the fire taking his brother and mother from him, and they tell him that they only had each other for years until they moved to town 4 years ago. Henry thinks that maybe they can be a family together before quickly pushing down the thought. Too soon.

They walk slowly along the docks, the sea at their left dropping the temperature around them but Henry can barely feel the cold as he walks between the two adults. He tells Killian about how Star Wars is his favourite movie franchise and clutches his imaginary pearls when the man tells him he hasn’t watched any of the movies. Emma joins the teasing over him not having watched “Princess Bride” either - Henry guesses her lie detector doesn’t work on omissions because there’s a glint in Killian’s face that reveals the truth. But it’s not his secret to tell.

“It’s definitely time for a movie night.”

And if the adults share a hopeful look over his head, Henry is distracted by thoughts of a movie night where they share popcorn and hot cocoa in the warmth of their living room. Where the Swans share a part of themselves through the movies they love and hope to be accepted.

They stop at the end of the docks, the presence of the enormous ship looking straight out of a pirate movie effectively putting all thoughts and fantasies to the back of his mind. 

“Wow…” Henry breathes out, looking from one side to the other, inspecting every inch.

“Behold,” Killian holds out his arm in a grand gesture as he takes a couple of steps to stand in front of the gangplank. “The Jolly Roger.”

Henry looks back towards the man, mouth parted. “This is your ship?”

“Aye, since we were here, I thought you might like to see it.” Killian reaches up to scratch the back of his ear.

Emma leans towards Henry and pretends to whisper in his ear. “I think he is trying to win you over, kid.”

Despite it being dark, he can see the way Killian’s cheeks darken at being caught. The man stammers a response and Emma exchanges a conspiratorial look with Henry.

“Is that why you named your ship that?” Henry looks at him with a searching look, the one that Uncle David called his “detective look”. He watches as Killian fumbles before sending a mock glare towards Emma who is trying very hard not to laugh.

“It’s a pirate ship,” Killian holds out his arms as if it made his point. “It should have a pirate name.”

“There it is,” Emma nudges his side and Henry presses his lips together to avoid laughing. “We found the reason for the old-timey speech, kid. Killian is actually a time travelling pirate.”

They both lose their battle against laughter when Killian huffs and crosses his arms at them. “I’m revoking your rights to board my ship, both of you. And I was even going to let you have a try at the wheel.” He raises his eyebrow and Henry sees it as a challenge. 

If Killian wants to be dramatic, so can he.

“Please, Killian,” Henry grabs onto his crossed arms and looks up with an exaggerated pout. “We were just kidding.” There’s an uptick at the corner of his lips and Henry is ready to admit victory. “Your ship is so cool and the name is so original and you should let us aboard.” He is really laying it on thick and both adults know it by the looks on their faces.

“Come on, how can you say no to that face?” Emma points out, her voice wobbly from laughter.

“Fine, fine,” Killian sighs and uncrosses his arms. “That is a dangerous face.” Henry is ready to whoop in excitement when Killian touches the tip of his nose. “Stay close to me.”

Henry shares a grin with his mother who holds his hand before he takes Killian’s left hand. There’s a stumbling pause in the man’s steps before he starts walking. They are ordered to wait at the centre of the deck while Killian’s boots echo across the deck while he lights up lanterns around them. The faint light makes the ship look even more out of this world and Henry feels like they are about to set sail on an adventure to fantastical realms.

Henry looks around with a parted mouth and when he finally finds his mother’s eyes, he sees her smile at him, a soft smile that he knows is a reflection of her love for him. “It is very cool, huh, kid?” 

He nods and her arm wraps around his shoulders as they watch the deck light up in the warm colour of the lanterns. “This would be a good spot to do some star gazing.” 

“With a picnic,” his mom supplies.

“I could teach you about the stars,” Killian finishes, standing to his mom’s side as they look around. Henry sighs. 

He can imagine cosy nights learning all about the position of the stars and their stories while they lie in comfy blankets and drink hot cocoa. And in the warm months, after a day of swimming, they could see how different the sky looks in summer. He realises he’s expecting Killian to stay until the coming year and it brings him out of his fantasies. 

Despite the man’s promises and assurances, Henry can’t help but feel like there’s something more. Something about Killian Jones that feels…wrong. That’s not the right word…

“Would you like a tour below deck?”

Killian’s offer startles him out of his spiralling thoughts. He pushes them away - let’s himself believe that he’s not as deeply screwed as he actually is. Henry nods quickly, what is he gonna say? No? It’s a pirate ship!

They follow Killian as he lights the way below deck. They see the galley - retrofitted to look modern and with a large table in the middle of the room - the storage room with shelves full of food and other non-perishables, and the officers’ and crew’s quarters.

“Or it would have been had I any crew or officers,” Killian chuckles, gesturing towards the doors. “Maybe you can choose one of them for yourself?” There was a hopeful look on his face and Henry felt his mother’s hand tighten its hold on his shoulder. 

The fast beating of his heart is dangerously fast and he wonders if she can feel it in her palm. 

So much for putting away those thoughts. 

“Maybe we can talk about that another time,” his mother suggests, sparing him an answer.

“Of course, of course,” Killian is quick to dismiss his idea. 

Henry is glad for it and even more glad when the adults act as if the question was never posed in the first place. They all ignore the hint of tension below the decks of the ship as Killian shows them where the pirates used to store their guns and where the crew would row the ship if the sails didn’t work. 

“And last but certainly, not least,” Killian’s bright grin is back and Henry tries to ignore the warmth in his chest at seeing it. “The Captain’s quarters.”

He opens the door to a large room, helping them down the few steps before hooking the lantern on an overhead hook. A large bed takes up the back wall, perfectly placed under the rectangular window. There are trinkets strewn about in a precise way in the window sill. A book shelf takes over the left side of the room while a table and a high-winged chair take over the right side. It’s all meticulously clean and tidy, so much like its Captain.

“Do you live here?”

“Aye,” Killian leans on his desk with a proud smile. ”A home fit for a pirate Captain.”

Emma chuckles before she crosses her arms to look at him. “Don’t know how well you’ll do when winter comes along, Captain.”

“Yeah, but at least he’ll be sleeping on a pirate ship,” Henry points out and beams when Killian smiles proudly at him as well as pointing a finger in his direction. He takes another look around. “Why is it so dark in here?”

Henry notes the drawn curtains just like he’d noticed it in the other rooms. Despite the bright full moon outside, none of its natural light made its way inside the ship. 

“Oh,” Killian immediately stands upright to open the curtains, letting the moonlight filter in.

“Our Captain is a bit of a nocturnal creature,” Emma teases and Killian scratches behind his ear.

“I sleep during the day,” he explains. “I can’t have that pesky sun ruin my plans.”

Henry chuckles with them even as a thought tries to worm its way into his mind. The moonlight reflects on a globe with a strange town inside it and he takes a closer look at it.

“Are these from all the places you’ve been?”

“Aye.” Killian stands at his side as he carefully straightens a ceramic bowl. “Some of my prized possessions.”

A small frame stands between a colourful seashell and a cross made of a soft light brown grass. There’s a young boy with curly hair next to what he thinks is a person. The being is blurry and burned, the only thing visible is an arm wrapped around the man’s shoulders.

“Who’s this?”

Killian clears his throat next to him and when he looks, a muscle is popping on his cheek due to the clenching of his jaw. “That was my brother, Liam.”  

“Oh.” Henry looks back at the picture, giving Killian some privacy with his emotions. Emma’s presence is silent behind them but, from the corner of his eye, he sees her place her hand on Killian’s shoulder. “You have the same eyes. Who’s next to him?”

“That’s me.” Henry frowns and leans forward to look at the picture better. Killian chuckles at the movement and the weight on Henry’s chest lightens at the sound. “Well, it was me. Water damage.”

“You don’t have any more pictures?”

“None that depict my devilishly handsome looks.” The smirk on his lips is softer than it had been before but it still brings a lightness to his bearing. 

“Not that this one does you much justice.” Emma grins and there’s a heat to Killian’s eyes when he looks back at her.

“I’ve never gotten complaints before.”

“You never forget your first.” She winks and Henry marvels at how light she looks. No matter how happy his mother has always looked when it’s just the two of them, this is a side of her he hasn’t seen before. It’s good.

They stay for another hour. They talk about music - he discovers Killian knows how to waltz and watches while his mother is being led around the cabin to the sounds of “A Thousand Years” from his phone - about sweets and how Killian has never tried a Pop-Tart much to Emma’s shock. Henry even secures some sword fighting lessons for himself, under the assurance that no actual blades will be used. 

“Not for now, at least,” Killian adds with a wink that is covered by a cough when he notices Emma’s narrowed eyes and hands on her hips. “No actual blades, Swan, deal.”

Henry giggles at his mother’s exasperated huff. “I made a big mistake,” she mumbles with no real heat behind it.

They say goodbye to Killian after they descend the gangplank. His mom shares a quick kiss with him - in a way that shows their affection but without making him feel like he wants to disappear. Killian ruffles his hair and promises that they’ll start their lessons soon. Before they leave, Emma invites him for dinner at their place the next day. The other two try to hide their surprise, Killian’s morphs into delight whereas Henry tries to simply express his approval.

His mother wraps an arm around his shoulders as they walk away from the ship, feeling Killian’s eyes on them as they do. She smiles down at him when he looks up at her.

“So, kid,” She starts, trying to hide the concern he can see in her green eyes. “What did you think of Killian?”

“He’s cool,” Henry shrugs even as he smiles at Emma’s beaming grin. “He’s good.” 

Too good.

---

Henry enters the bus to school after a kiss to his head from his mother and a wave. Just like every morning he has to go to school, Emma will head to the station for her shift while he goes to school and then takes himself home at the end of the day and waits for Emma to get back.

Despite the opinions of most 13-year-olds, Henry likes school. He likes learning, likes the friends he’s made since they’ve moved to town and he especially loves to have Violet around. 

But he is, for the lack of better word, distracted. 

His teachers call his attention more times than they ever had to - which is significant when they have never had to - and his notebooks are littered with nonsensical scribbles or doodles as opposed to his usual meticulous notes. Violet’s exasperated huff in the middle of her retelling of her weekend of horse riding with her father finally brings everything to a halt.

“I think my mom’s new boyfriend is a vampire.”

Henry tells Violet his Sunday activities - promising to listen to hers afterwards - and he begs for her to use her all-knowing vampire knowledge to prove him right or wrong. He doesn’t tell her that he hopes he’s wrong, he really wants to be wrong.

But Violet presses her lips together when he’s done and his heart feels like it’s going to burst out of his chest, like that alien from that movie he promised his mom he didn’t watch during a sleepover at Ava and Nicholas’ for their birthday - their dad is new at this but after Nicholas almost puked from fear, he got better at it. But that’s not the fear that’s making him almost puke all over the lunch table.

“What?”

“You need to be careful,” Violet bites her lip and he sucks in a breath. “Your mom must already be in his thrall, did you know vampires can hypnotise people? But you are not.”

“She needs my help.” Henry’s eyes are wide and panicked and Violet takes hold of his hands. “What do I do?”

“Take a deep breath, you can’t panic.” Henry does as she says and she rubs her thumbs over his knuckles. “If he hasn’t done anything until now, you’re probably in luck, he’s taking his time.” Violet’s shoulders set in determination and he sees the awesome girl that impressed him when they first met. “I have a plan.”

---

After school, safely at home, Henry is prepared and waiting.

He didn’t dare distract himself with video games or books, simply rehearsing what he wanted to tell his mother as soon as she arrived. There was probably a dip in the carpet due to his pacing route back and forth in the living room. 

The door opens and he startles despite the fact that it’s exactly the time his mom usually gets home. Come on, Henry, get your head in the game.

“Okay, I-Shit!” his mom huffs from the door as she stumbles. There are two thumps against the hall before the door closes from taking her boots off. “I got us food from Bella Notte for dinner, it’s too late to cook anything and you know how I love their-”

Emma startles when she sees him standing in the middle of the living room, hair probably a mess from how much he ran his fingers through it and pulled. His mouth is parted and his eyes are wide and he must look like he’s seen a ghost.

“H-hey,” she says carefully, putting the bags down on the kitchen counter without taking her eyes off him. “Are you okay?”

Henry takes a deep breath and she looks even more worried. “No.” He shakes his head when she tries to put her hands on his shoulders and points to the couch in front of him. “You need to sit down.”

She does so in a worried daze, putting her hands on her knees and he sees the panic in her eyes that he saw the day she caught him crying in his room. “Okay, I’m sitting. What’s going on?”

He takes another deep breath, letting it fill his chest before letting it out. “Killian is a vampire.”

That wasn’t what Emma was expecting, clearly, and she shakes her head with her brow pulled low in a frown. “What?”

“Killian is a vampire,” Henry repeats and resumes his pacing back and forth on the living room floor. “You probably don’t realise it because he has you in his thrall, probably because you kissed,” His nose scrunches up in displeasure now. “But he is dangerous and I need to keep you safe.”

“Henry,” Emma sighs and starts to stand from the couch. “Kid-”

“No.” Henry carefully pushes her back down to sitting, his eyes wider as they look into hers and she is taken aback by the resolve in his eyes. “I need you to come out of it, Mom.” He sighs and takes a step back putting his hands on his hips. “You’re a cop so you care about proof; I’m going to give you proof.”

“Henry-”

“First, he doesn’t eat garlic.” Henry ignores her and starts ticking off fingers. “Vampires don’t eat garlic either. Second, he doesn’t know his birthday. Yeah, he has an answer for it but it’s still suspicious.” Emma frowns and opens her mouth but he carries on. “Because now he can’t prove he’s not from, like, the 18th century! You even noticed the way he talks, he was clearly turned like centuries ago.

“Then we have the dark room. He didn’t even notice until I pointed it out because he’s so used to avoiding the sun!”

“He has a tan.”

Henry continues, not noticing her mumble, focusing only on her concerned eyes and parted mouth. “And then, and then his hands! They were cold when we shook them, and yeah, it was cold, but they were really, really cold. There was also the picture, Mom,” His voice grows desperate without him noticing, high pitched and he isn’t sure when he took a proper breath. “How is it possible that only his part of the picture got ruined? And he doesn’t have more? He clearly can’t be photographed, Mom!”

“Henry!” He sucks in a breath, effectively shutting up, when Emma stands in front of him, hands heavy on his shoulder and frightened eyes on his. “Do you hear what you’re saying, kid?”

“I’m right, Mom, I promise.” His voice is quiet, the desperation in his making his mother’s eyes grow more panicked. “There were bats!”

“What?”

“Before he showed up at Granny’s, I saw bats! They flew behind the ice cream shop and not a second later, Killian appeared!” Her hands cup his cheeks and he grabs her wrists tightly. “It’s true, you need to get out of his spell.”

Emma sighs and he clenches his fists over her wrists. “Henry-”

A knock on the door startles the two of them and they both look towards the door.

“That’s him, Mom,” Henry whisper-yells, tightening his grip when her hands slacken. “You didn’t invite him in already, right?”

“He’s been here before, kid.” She sighs and cups his cheeks again before turning to the door. “It’s open!” The door opens.

“No, no!” Careful shuffling at the entrance masks his quiet begging he feels for his back pocket.

“Shh, kid, it’s okay,” she soothes, thumbs caressing his cheeks.

“I hope I’m not too early, I got-” Killian quiets himself as he finds the two of them in the living room. “Is everything alright?” His eyes go from Emma to Henry and his frown grows.

“Yeah,” Emma nods, glancing back at Killian before returning to Henry. “I just need to talk to my son. Think you can go to my room and-” 

But Henry doesn’t let her finish and pulls out the wooden stake Violet helped him make after school. He couldn’t let Killian get out of his sight. He ignores Emma’s calls of his name and focuses only on Killian’s wide eyes. He needs to stop this!

He takes a few steps towards the vampire before a crash and a curse behind him diverts both his and Killian’s attention to Emma. There are flowers on the floor and his mom’s hand is quickly pulled back from the broken glass of a tall cup she’d used as a vase - she ran into the table in her efforts to get to him. Emma is holding her wrist and he sees the red blood in her palm.

“Mom! A-Are you bleeding?” His eyes are wide in panic and he holds up the stake even higher when Killian takes a step towards them, eyes on her hand.

“Yeah, kid,” she sighs. “But it’s going to be okay, I promise.”

Killian starts walking around Henry. “Swan, let me-” 

“No!” His frightened yell causes them both to stop and look at him. “You’re not getting close to my mom. If you hurt her, I’ll-I’ll stake you!” His hand shakes as it grips the wooden stake. 

“Henry, please.” Emma takes a couple of steps towards him and Henry sees how Killian can’t keep his eyes on him, looking instead at Emma’s wound. “Killian is not a vampire.” There’s a startled expression on the man’s face, looking between Emma and Henry now. “He is just trying to help me.”

“A-aye, lad, I have a first aid certification,” he explains in a dazed tone, surprised at being caught, he’s sure. “That’s all.” He raises his hands in defence.

“No.” His voice wobbles and his vision gets blurry. He feels a tear run down his cheek. “There’s something wrong with him, Mom, there has to be!”

Emma sucks in a breath and Killian’s eyes widen impossibly more. He can’t look away from the understanding in the eyes of the man in front of him, the way his shoulders tense in a different way and Henry feels something loosen inside him. As his mom moves in front of him, Killian takes a couple of steps back, almost like a coordinated move. She easily takes the stake from his trembling hand with her uninjured one and drops it to the ground.

“Henry,” she breathes out and that’s all it takes for him to bury his face in her chest, sobbing as his arms wrap around her waist.

They move to the couch between his loud hiccuping sobs and when they calm down into sniffles. Emma’s hand moves slowly, reassuringly, up and down his back and she speaks low in his ear, comforting, patient words. His arms tighten around her and he hides his face on her neck when his breathing calms but none of them move beside that.

“Henry,” Emma tries again, speaking calmly, and when he doesn’t interrupt, she pulls away so she can look into his eyes. “Do you think we can have a conversation now?”

He nods and feels his chest tighten in shame when he notices how Killian sits patiently in a chair parallel to the couch, his right hand slowly caressing through his short beard. He is giving them a sense of privacy, not reacting to Emma’s voice and not looking at them, lost in thought. He needs to apologise.

His mom’s hand on his cheek brings his attention back to her and he notices how there’s a bandage around her previously injured hand. He guesses Killian must have taken care of it during his tantrum and he feels the weight in his chest grow heavier. 

“Kid,” Emma’s voice is quiet as she urges him to look back at her, her eyes are understanding and calm despite the pain beneath them. “We could not have known that Walsh was such a horrible guy. You could not have known and it wasn’t your job to protect me.” Her words are final, without a chance for debate, and he can only nod. “He hurt us, he was a horrible guy but he is gone. Not everyone is going to hurt us like he did.” Henry nods again, he remembers his mother saying how she was going to be more careful with the people she brought around them.

“I-I’m sorry,” he whispers and closes his eyes in shame.

“You’re forgiven, kid,” Her fingers rub against his cheek and he leans into it unconsciously. “I thought we could just leave all the shit he did to us in the past but I forgot to talk to you about it. To make sure you were ready.”

“I kept comparing them,” he confesses and his mother’s brow furrows in sorrow even as she nods. “I think I liked the time we spent together so much that I remembered when we first met him. How it was all too good to be true, how Killian was too good to be true.”

Emma glances towards the man in the chair and Henry feels his eyes on him but he can’t look back. Can’t bring himself to face how much he screwed up their relationship. 

“Actually, kid?” His mom lets out a small, ironic chuckle and Henry looks up at her in surprise. “I know exactly how you feel. I actually put my gun to Killian’s head when we first met.” There’s a soft chuckle from the couch and Emma’s cheeks turn pink. “That’s why it took me so long to introduce you two, because he was too good to be true. Even if I knew by, like, the third day, that I was in love with him.”

A sharp intake of breath comes from the couch this time and his mom’s cheeks turn a deep shade of red. But mother and son keep looking at each other. “You did? Weren’t you scared?”

“Terrified,” Emma confesses, a soft smile on her face. “But sometimes we have to put fear behind us and let people in. We have to allow ourselves the chance to love and be loved.”

Henry’s nose scrunches up. “That sounds like something Aunt Mary Margaret would say.”

Emma laughs and his chest doesn’t feel as tight or heavy. “Yeah, I might have asked for her help on this.”

Henry sighs. “I’m really sorry, Mom, I didn’t mean-”

“I think you’ve apologised enough to me, kid.” She stops him gently with an encouraging smile before gesturing with her head towards the man still quietly sitting on the chair.

He takes a deep breath before turning on the couch, wringing his hands on his lap. Killian looks at him with a patient look on his face. “I’m sorry, Killian.” He is looking so kindly at him that he feels his eyes watering, how can he deserve this? His mom resumes her caresses on his back. “This didn’t have anything to do with you but I hurt you and that was wrong of me, I’m really sorry.”

Killian stands from the chair and crouches in front of him. His hands are holding each other with his elbows on his knees. “A long time ago,” Killian starts in a calm tone before chuckling and correcting. “20 years ago, not centuries.” Emma snorts next to him and Henry feels his cheeks burning. “My father abandoned both me and my brother in the middle of the night. There was a short circuit in the fuse and it caused our house to burn down.”

“I lost my brother and my father on the same day.” His tone is quiet, mournful and he can’t look away from the pain reflected in the blue of his eyes. “I had the chance to reunite with my father a few years ago and I let my hurt stop me from trying. I know how it is to sabotage your relationships because of your wounds.

“But,” Killian’s lips curve up in a small smile and he takes hold of Henry’s hands. His hands are so warm. That remaining weight on his chest vanishes. “I can promise you that it’s going to take a lot more to push me away.”

“I’m sorry that I tried,” Henry whispers and Killian nods. 

“You’re forgiven, my boy.” Henry feels his eyes water and his shoulders relax at his words. “I know what that man did to the two of you and, while I never thought to be compared to a vampire, I knew I had to take that into account when I met you.” Killian’s cheeks turn red and he scratches at the back of his ear. “I just think I got too ahead of myself yesterday. Truth is, I’ve always wanted a family,” he confesses, his eyes glancing between his and Emma’s. “Meeting you two made it all too real and I think I got too desperate so if I-”

Henry doesn’t let him finish what he thinks is going to be an apology to his own apology and lunges at him for a hug. Killian stumbles and ends up falling on his butt. But he doesn’t care, he simply tightens his arms around his neck and relaxes when he feels Killian’s arms just as tight around him. “I want you to be part of our family too,” he confesses and hears a sniffle from behind him. “Especially now that I know you’re not a vampire.”

His words make them all chuckle, like he hoped they would, even as there are tears gathering at their eyes. “It’s an honour to be a part of this family, my boy.” His hand running up and down his back feels just as good as his mother’s and he grins.

“Okay,” His mother’s voice is watery and they separate to watch as she wipes under her eyes with the back of her hand. “Now that it’s all solved, we should eat.”

“Aye, I’m starving,” Killian grins. “There’s not that many people in Storybrooke who let me drink their blood.”

Emma rolls her eyes with a smirk while Henry laughs embarrassedly. “I’m never leaving this down, am I?”

“Not likely, lad.” Killian ruffles his hair and even though he huffs and puffs, Henry thinks he might like the idea of being teased by the man, especially if it means he’ll stick around for a long time.

“Come on,” Emma helps them both up from the floor and while Henry lets go of her hand as soon as he’s standing, Killian doesn’t. “Let’s eat.”

“Actually,” Killian glances towards Henry asking for permission and for some reason, Henry thinks he just might know what he wants. He nods. “There’s something I need to do first.”

Emma frowns confused. “Huh?”

Before she can get an answer, Killian pulls her to him for a kiss. He keeps it soft but it’s clearly full of love and his mom lets out a hum. Henry thinks he should look away but he basks in the sight of their love.

“What was that for?” she mumbles when they separate.

“I love you too,” Killian confesses in a quiet tone, eyes on hers, and Henry feels that last piece of the puzzle slot into place.

Her smile is wide and she kisses him again, a press of lips due to how wide both of them smile. His phone buzzes on the table, no longer full of glass shards, and it catches all of their attention.

“Your phone keeps buzzing, kid, what’s that about?”

Henry frowns in confusion before a metaphorical lightbulb flashes above his head and his eyes widen. “Oh crap!” He dives for his phone and starts tapping at it frantically. 

“What is it?”

“That was Violet,” he answers, pressing his lips together to stop from saying more. His mother raises an eyebrow to incentivize him. “She was my second line of defence.” 

Killian seems to understand before his mother and he can see how he is seconds away from bursting into laughter. “What do you mean?” his mother asks. 

“Well, she was going to bring holy water…”

There’s a moment of silence before they all succumb to hysterical laughter. 

Maybe Killian is too good to be true. But as Henry laughs with his family, he thinks his aunt is right - he’ll put the fear behind him and allow himself to be loved.

[sunnywindow]

forest walks. a mirror's reflection

october 4 prompt, forest walks, a mirror's reflection.

-----

“Maaaan, this suuuucks,” Floyd loudly complained, trudging far behind both you and Jade. The surrounding forest contrasted the neat gravel pathway, and Floyd glared at it indignantly.

“Then why'd you come, Floyd?” you muttered, not bothering to deal with his complaining. You paid his whining no heed, walking forward with step after step after step.

A little ways ahead, Jade laughed politely and turned a bit to his brother who was far behind.

“Why, indeed?” he asked, grinning as Floyd only frowned miserably at him and stuck up a rather impolite finger.

“..Shuddap, Jade,” he glared.

Jade only smiled before moving on with the hike and gathering sample after sample after sample of leaves, grass, and other foliage.

“...”

“...”

“...” “Man, this totally stinks. Why’re we here, anyway?”

Jade turned back and once again grinned politely in a way that expressed ‘Why, indeed?’ from his eyes.

He walked quietly, content with his brother far behind him, and with extra company on his hike. The mountain was quite bountiful that day.

“You tell me, Floyd,” you shrugged at the dying fish on land. He looked small from five meters away as he leaned his forehead against a tree all melodramatically. It didn’t help him that the tree was taller and foreboding, while he was hunched over and all but crouching. “I'm not the one who came despite hating hikes.”

Floyd blew a puff of air to get some hair off his face as he sulked audibly.

It was a congo line of three of the five stages of grief.

Jade all but skipped happily a bit further ahead from the two of you.

Floyd was depressed at the situation; all the walking in the middle of nowhere, and for what? He trudged forward, moving the slightest inch forward with each tiny step.

You were somewhat in the middle, certainly quite a bit behind Jade, but nevertheless still ahead of his brother. In your head, you were busy wondering if Floyd would behave better with a promise of something, or with immediate reward.

You decided to promise.

“If…” you said, pausing as your eyes flickered over to him. He stared at you exhaustedly. “If you make it to the top, I'll get you some candy.”

“What?” he said, frowning at you with his brows all furrowed. “Lame. Forget about it.”

You stared at him with widened eyes as he walked straight off the neay path and right into the rugged forest

.

“What am I, six?” he ‘muttered’ quite loudly to himself. Jade could probably hear him from way up ahead.n“I'm going. Later.”

“Tch.” You scoffed at him as you popped a hard ginger candy into your mouth. It burned delightfully at the base of your throat.

Some several meters ahead, you barely heard Jade gasp out an “Oh my.”

“Floyd, the exits’ that way.” You pointed at the trail the three of you came from.

He huffed and continued deeper into the forest in a straight line into bear territory.

Either way, this allowed you to speed up and catch up to the actual hiking expert in the area. Jade was practically dancing around all the plant life, all but humming a playful tune.

You stared at his enthusiasm.

It suddenly occurred to you that you rarely had any proper conversations with Jade up until this point. Usually, in class, you were busy keeping Floyd in class and out of trouble; mostly failing to do so and getting caught as an accomplice.

Compared to either of you, Jade was this picture-perfect impression of what a model citizen should be like. He always wore his uniform neatly, he often participated in class, he did his job properly..

Your heart fell like an iron ball as you struggled to fill in the empty air with sometime, anything, to say.

“So…”

“You're Floyd's classmate, correct?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“That's wonderful to know. He talks about you often, see.”

“He, he does? Okay…”

Jade’s eyes on you felt like a hawk’s locked onto its next victim. You felt them like like you felt the dizzying wind in the air.

There was a pit at the bottom of your stomach as Jade continued.

“It would be a shame if Floyd was wasting his class time in idle chatter, wouldn’t it?

Ah, something you can speak about “Yeah, half the time I get in trouble because of his hijinks.”

“Do you, now?”

“Yeah. One time in Alchemy, he got me sick for a week.” “It's not all bad, though. Beats the lecture, anyhow.”

“I see.”

“Say, Jade, you like mushrooms, don't you?”

His eyes widened a little bit in shock. “Indeed I do.”

“There's this trail, you might've heard of it…”

Suddenly, shrill laughter pierced the sky. Countless birds flew away from the trees in retreat and one tree shook so tremendously that it almost fell down.

A good several meters away, Floyd was launching blows against a large mammalian animal. Four legs, rugged dark brown fur, almost doglike, if it wasn't so large..

“Oh my goodness, Jade, he's fighting a bear.”

Floyd wiped the blood off his face in a sickly grin and a wild spark in his eyes. His body was all bruised and scratched up as he lunged at the creature head-on.

Jade only stared with the same smile he wore most days.

“Should.. Should we help him?? You know him better than I do-”

“I suggest taking the back seat on this one.”

“Okay…”

At one point, Floyd hissed and scrambled up a tree, just to lunge back down onto the bear and elbow it in its weak spot. He pulled the ears, stabbed the eyes, and all but demolished the poor creature as you just stared at him in pure shock.

You were glued to the ground beneath you as all you could think was ‘Not again…’

You looked at Jade, who was still smiling as Floyd practically skipped over to the two of you jovially. The bear laid motionless behind him.

“Had fun, Floyd?”

“You know it, bro.”

You sighed as you tugged tiredly at Floyd's sleeve.

“Come on, Floyd, we're going.”

“Huh, already?”

“Yep,” you said grimly, popping the ‘p’ sound. “Let's go treat those wounds of yours before it kicks you in the butt later.”

“Whaat? I feel fine, though. Whatever, lead the way!”

You turned to Jade, who stared wide eyed without his typical smile on. You quirked an eyebrow at him.

“you coming, jade?”

He soon smiled and shook his head.

“You go on ahead,” he said calmly. “I’ll continue on with the mountain as my companion.”

“Suit yourself,” you shrugged as you dragged Floyd back to campus. He moved in tandem with you and the wind. “Let's go, man.”

“Heey, what were you guys talking about, anyway?”

“Nothing much, really.”

He pouted at you. “Boo, that stiinks,” he said.

You chuckled at him, to which he smiled.

“Sure,” you joked.

[elisysd]

4. Vultures spinning up above for what's left of me

Masterlist - Previously - Next

It was a nightmare. It couldn’t be true. Ethan felt like living in a haze, he could feel his heart beating loudly as if it wanted to jump out of his chest. He wanted to throw up. He had always been careful and responsible. It couldn’t happen. It just couldn’t. It was impossible. He was trying to remember who that girl was but he had no idea. There came a time when, for him, all girls looked alike. Did it make him look like an insensitive asshole? Maybe. Did he care? A part of him did. A tiny, tiny, little part. But a part that was not big enough to make him want to change. It was not his fault if girls came to him and flirted. Who was he to refuse the attention? But he had always been clear with them. They shouldn’t expect anything else from him other than a good night of sex. That was it. He didn’t have anything else to offer. His job was too important for him to throw it all away for a girl. He didn’t know how to love someone, nor did he want to learn. It was just not for him. And he was okay with it.

“Ethan, do you hear me? Are you still here?” his agent asked him.

“Yeah… yeah. I’m still there.”

“I was saying that we should release a statement. What do you think?”

“No. It would give credit to the story and it’s the last thing I want. Maybe if we wait and let the storm passes through, it will die down.”

“I’m not sure Ethan… It could really tarnish your reputation.”

“But she is lying! I know she is. I’m a lot of things, but I’m not stupid enough to forget about protection.”

“If we don’t do anything, it’s going to be a mess with the media…”

“Let it be.”

It was his final decision. He was used to tabloids anyway. How bad could that be? But if Ethan was not scared of the media, he was scared of another person in his life. As he was about to board on his flight for Qatar, the name of his mother appeared on the screen.

“Ethan Christian Verstappen! You have some serious explaining to do!” Kat Verstappen screamed aver the phone, making Ethan pulling the phone away from his ear.

“I guess you see the rumour…”

“Don’t tell me I’m going to be a grandmother soon. I’m too young for that!”

“I promise you, you won’t. That girl is lying. I met her once; we had fun and that’s it.”

“How many times did we tell you, with your dad, that your antics would get you in trouble one day? You never listened. If you settled down, the issue would be fixed!”

“I don’t want to settle down, mom.” sighed Ethan.

There was a silence on the other side of the line.

“What does she want, if she is lying, then?”

“I don’t know. Maybe she is salty about the fact that I don’t want a relationship and she is trying to manipulate me to destabilize me? I don’t know… It’s fucked up, mom.”

“But what if she is not lying?”

“You didn’t raise me to be a coward. I would take my part of responsibilities. But it won’t come down to this. I promise that she is lying. You have to believe me. I need to know that you and dad believe me and that I have you in my corner.”

He was expecting his mom to answer but it was his dad voice that he hear.

“I’m going to call my lawyer. If this girl wants to mess with us, we are going to show her that she chose the wrong family.” said Max.

And Ethan knew it would all be okay.

The flight to Qatar allowed him to sleep a little, he was feeling exhausted after all the events of the last twenty-four hours. And he needed to recharge his batteries before the weekend. He was dreading the press conference. He didn’t want to go since he knew how his story was blowing up in the press. He just hoped it would all die down soon. But fate had sometimes its twisted ways and as soon as he landed, he received a text from his team principal asking him to come by to the hospitality as soon as possible. And seeing the tone of the text, Ethan knew he was fucked.

When he finally arrived, he was expecting the meeting to be a short one with only a few people. He was not expecting to see the whole team of media officers not only from Maserati but from Lamborghini as well. He sat at the opposite of the table, feeling like a prisoner waiting for the final court decision. Ashley, the Maserati PR officer showed him silently the different front pages of tabloids as well as her laptop where were displayed thousands of tweets. Ethan gulped. It was no good.

“And that’s just the top of the iceberg, Ethan.” she said when he finished to read everything.

“Because there are more than my entire reputation and name being dragged out in the mud?”

“Can you stop being selfish for once, Ethan? You are not the only one that has to deal with the aftermath of the scandal. Montorelli is threatening us to back down from the sponsorship agreement if sanctions are not taken. Not only them, but a few others brands as well because they don’t want to be associated to us if you are still there.”

It didn’t take long for Ethan to understand what they were implying.

“You want to fire me?”

“We can’t. That would create more drama than it’s already the case, considering who your father is…”

“So what? What are you going to do about it?”

“The question is what are YOU going to do about it, Ethan? We talked a bit about it and we think we have a solution.”

Ethan didn’t like where it was going, but he sucked it up and listened to what they had to say.

“Listen, everyone loves a good bad boy redemption, right? So we were thinking of finding a nice girl, maybe a model, someone cute and friendly that people could relate to. A girl next door. And it would bring more sponsors and different ones, that could be good for us.”

“I don’t want to fake date anyone.”

“You don’t have the choice, Ethan. The situation is bad.”

He sighed, taking his head between his hands. It was a nightmare; he was going to wake up.

“And what about Carla? Is she really pregnant? What are we going to do about her?”

“We are going to find out the truth, don’t worry. We will keep you up to date as soon as we have info. So, now that it is settled, we thought about some girls…”

“No. If I have to do this, I want to at least choose the poor girl that is going to get dragged into it.”

It didn’t really seem to please the team but Ethan didn’t care. They ended up accepting, giving him a week to come with a plan or they would not give him the choice. Ethan agreed and left the meeting room with a pounding headache.

Most of the questions directed to him were mentioning his recent scandal. As hard as he tried to ignore them and saying that he was not there to talk about it and that it was not the right time, they kept coming at him to the point that he was seriously fed up.

“I would appreciate if we could talk about something else, like the race. My lawyers are doing their jobs to solve this thing. I just know that I didn’t do anything wrong, so I know that the truth will come out sooner or later.”

Of course, it was all what the paddock was talking about and Julia couldn’t ignore it. Wherever she was going, she could hear Ethan’s name being whispered. Even if she wanted to ignore them, she couldn’t. She managed to find, Romy on the Thursday, just after she was done with her interviews. She was sipping on an ice-tea, her sunglasses resting on the top of her straight blond hair. As soon as she saw Julia she smiled brightly and waved at her. Julia sat next to her and and put on the table her phone and her badge.

‘So how does it feel to be back in a paddock?” Romy asked her.

“It feels good! A lot of work to do but I’m excited about it.”

“Yeah, I saw that the Skoda was not performing well…”

“That’s a way to put it nicely. The car is shit; you can say it.”

“I don’t want to offend you.”

Julia shrugged, playing with her bottle. They kept on talking a little, catching up on what they were both doing and how Romy was feeling now that the season had started. Even if she was now starting her third year, just like Ethan, at Audi, she was still victim of way too many misogynistic remarks from journalists but from other teams as well. She could try her best to downplay them and act as if it wasn’t hurting her, Julia knew better. For most of the paddock, Romy was there only because of her last name and because Sebastian had pushed for her to have a seat when he accepted the role of Team Principal. Rumour had it that he even threaten Audi to refuse, if she wasn't there. So for many, Romy didn’t deserve to be here even though she fought nails and teeth to get where she was.

From the corner of her eyes, she could see Ethan and a bunch of other people that she supposed were a part of the media team.

“How much in trouble do you think Ethan is?” Julia asked.

“Big trouble from what I have heard. Poor Ethan, he doesn’t deserve that.”

“Poor Ethan? Are you for real? I’d say that something like that was bound to happen. I’m surprised it took so long.”

“I’m sure he is innocent. He might be stupid and a bit of an ass sometimes but he is also loyal. I don’t think he would be the type to abandon a child and the mother if it was true. So if he says that it’s not true, I believe him.”

“Not really convinced.”

“You are biased Julia… You hate his guts. It has always been this way, for as long as I can remember. I don’t even know when it all started exactly.”

Julia took a moment to think about it. If she was honest with herself, she didn’t remember either. She only knew that it had always been this way.

“It’s like that, anyway. We don’t like each other it won’t change.”

Julia knew that the cars wouldn’t achieve a miracle during the race. Her only hope was that they could both finish the race without any technical issues but even that was apparently too much to ask. A problem with the engine forced both of the Skoda to retire early during the race and it was needless to say that Wilhelm was furious. He was so angry that no one dared to move or even breath in his direction, to scared to be the target of his wrath. Julia was trying to not care about him and was focusing on the screen in front of her, trying to see what they could extract from the data when she felt him approaching her.

“You’re useless.”

“Sorry?” she said, taken aback by how rude his tone sounded like.

“Why did we hire you, if at the end of the day your dad can’t even provide us with good engines? You were supposed to be an addition to this team because of your connection with Ferrari and all of that for what? We can’t even finish a race!”

“It’s not my fault. If you can’t make a viable car, it’s your problem. I’m here to help improving it but I was not part of the making process.”

“Listen Julia. You are nothing in this team. You just started and don’t think for one second that we hire you, a girl, for your engineering skills. The only thing that made you stand out from other candidates was your last name, so we could potentially get some help from Maranello.”

It hurt. It shouldn’t but it did. Everyone was looking at her, Niels and Noah included. It was not this way that she planned on telling them about her father, if even she was planning on telling them. It seemed like no matter how hard she tried, no matter how much effort she was putting into making people forget about her father, they couldn’t see past it. She was feeling tears prickling behind her eyelids and she stood up, excusing herself. She needed some air.

“Hey, Julia…” she turned around to see Niels approaching her carefully. “I just wanted to tell you that it was not nice. What happened inside.”

“Do you mean, the misogyny, the belittling or the humiliation?” she sniffled.

“All of that, I guess. I didn’t know that Charles was your dad….”

“Does it change something?”

“Well, no. Of course not. It’s just that now I feel a bit stupid about telling you that my dream team was Ferrari and with my fanboy moment about your dad. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

“I’m used to that, Niels don’t worry. I’m way past it.” she reassured him.

“Good to know. I hope you know that whatever Wilhelm said, it was not true. Everyone can see that you are hard-working and you are the only one who cared about what it felt like to be in the car and to drive that car. If he was giving you the time and space to grow and to improve, you would be a valuable member of the team.”

“Thank you Niels, that’s really nice of you to say.”

“We were thinking of going to a bar tonight with Noah to drown our sorrows in a few shots of vodka. Want to join us?”

She nodded. It would do her good and maybe she could actually try to make some friends. Niels was a nice guy.

“I can see that you are a bit sad and I don’t like seeing people sad. Can I give you a hug? I’m a huger.” he asked.

She half-smiled and opened her arms for him and he didn’t hesitate to squeeze her.

They met later in the lobby of the hotel to go to a bar near it. It was a VIP place, something Julia was not used too. She had never been a party girl and she started to regret to have said yes. But it was too late now. When they walked in, Noah spotted immediately Kyle and Ludwig that were there too and decided to go to them. Soon after, Julia recognised Ethan with them and gulped. She quickly pulled out her phone and sent a quick text to Romy as a SOS to ask her to join her. She knew that the Schumacher would never said no to a party. Even more if Julia was there.

Ethan wanted to forget this day and if he was being totally honest, he wanted to wipe out this week from his memory. Pretend it never existed so he could go back to his old ways and life. He sighed and tensed up when he saw Julia approaching his table. She definitely was the last person he wanted to see. He wanted to enjoy a night out with his friend without feeling judged by little miss perfect.

He ended up P15 which was his worst position ever. He din’t even listen to his team when he got out of the car and skipped the meeting. He did his best with staying polite to the press while wishing he was somewhere else. So here he was, in a bar, a place he would have loved to be just a week ago but right now, he was not having fun. As Julia was taking place at the table opposite of him, he made it clear that she was annoying him. He snorted before drinking a gulp of his whiskey and Julia, clearly hearing him, rolled her eyes.

Ludwig who was sitting right next to Ethan noticed the interaction. He was vaguely remembering her but failed to pinpoint the exact moment they had met in the past.

“I feel like we met, before, no? I’m Ludwig by the way, but everyone call me Lud.” he asked her.

“Maybe you’ve seen me around, I work for Skoda.”

“Yeah? That’s why you’re here with Noah and Niels, I guess then. So, what made you want to work in F1?”

“Well, I’ve been following the sport for quite some time now and I guess that it came naturally. I mean, I’ve always known that this is what I wanted to do.”

Ethan leaned against his chair, playing with his glass, before looking at her straight in the eyes.

“What she is failing to mention is that daddy is Ferrari Team Principal, so it helped. Right, Joolsie?”

“Shit, you’re Charles Leclerc’s daughter?” exclaimed Ludwig making everyone looking at her.

If a look could kill, Ethan would be six feet under by now.

“But why are you working at Skoda and not Ferrari, then?” asked Kyle, mingling in the conversation.

“Maybe I don’t want to? Maybe I want to deserve to work there and not have the easy access, like some people.” she snapped, staring at Ethan.

Fortunately for her, Romy arrived and all eyes were on her when she sat down loudly next to Julia and hailed a waiter to bring her his strongest drink.

“P4! P fucking 4! Fucking Ferrari! Fucking Martin and his nasty overtake! I could have won if it were not from him overtaking me like that! We all know that he should have gotten a penalty, it was not fair to squeeze me between the barrier like that!”

“Beware Schumy, we have a Ferrari spy, she is going to tell everything to daddy.” said Ethan.

“Can’t you just shut up, for once in your life?”

“Okay, kids… we are all collectively taking a deep breath and try to enjoy the night.” came Noah between them to try to avoid making the situation worse than it already was.

The next hour was boring for Julia. Romy was busy flirting with Kyle, while Noah and Niels were playing pool. The asked her she wanted to join but she preferred declining the invite, not being a fan of the game. As Ethan was talking to Ludwig, she felt alone. She excused herself and went to Romy, telling her she was going back to the hotel, to which the blonde nodded, way too occupied with the Lamborghini first driver. She waved slightly in direction Ludwig who was busy trying to cheer Ethan up as the young man was still brooding, complaining about the race and the scandal.

“Of course.” he exclaimed as he was seeing her leave the bar.

“What?”

“What about Julia?”

“Julia? What are you talking about, mate?” Ethan laughed, not understanding what his friend was trying to say.

“The PR relationship? What about Julia? It’s perfect.”

“I won’t fake date Julia, Lud.” groaned Ethan.

“But think about it! You hate her guts and she feels the same. No reason for her or you to fall in love and end up with a broken heart in the middle of the process.And it makes sense from a marketing point of view! You are Ethan Verstappen, only son of a legend of his sport. She is Charles’ daughter, the one who restored Ferrari glory! Two legends! The fight between them on tracks, we grew up watching them! They are iconic! You guys are basically royalty and you know that the media eat that type of shit! They love that! Imagine the PR.”

Ethan took a minute to think about it. On paper it looked great, he had to admit it but there would be no way, they would achieve to make it believable for the rest of the world.

“She would never agree.”

“Never say never, there must be something that could make her change her mind, no?”

“She hates me.”

“Ethan, do you want to lose your seat next year or do you want to fight to keep it?”

“Of course I want to fight!”

“Then, you know my idea is the best you’ll get.”

It hurt him to admit it, really it bruised his ego, but Ludwig was right. Julia might be his only hope if he wants to keep everything, he fought so hard to get. But now, he had to find a way to convince her to get onboard and he knew it wouldn’t be easy.

Author's note: So.... what do you think Ethan will do? Do you think Julia will agree ? What do you think about the other characters?

I can't wait to read your thoughts about it, so don't hesitate to leave a comment or an ask, as well as reblogging and leaving a like. It helps a lot for the story to find its audience. I also have a taglist for this story, so if you want to be added so you never miss a chapter, let me know.

Taglist:

@herondalism @aundercover @musingsbyshreya @karmabyfernando @reengard @mycenterfold @smoooothoperator

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

You're forgetting that Eraser is an enabler. Yes, Bakugo should be held fully accountable for his own actions, I completely agree with you there. But Eraser is his homeroom teacher. It's his job to discipline Bakugo when he does something wrong and not allow him to continue that behavior. Instead he does nothing as Bakugo repeatedly attacks a fellow classmate. He assumes that Midoriya is just as responsible for them not being able to get along. He has CONSISTENTLY treated Midoriya unfairly, especially as opposed to Bakugo.

Who's the one always defending Bakugo? Eraser. Who's the one who paired them together for the final despite Bakugo repeatedly being violent toward Midoriya? Eraser. Who's the one who did nothing to correct Bakugo's behavior despite promising to? Eraser.

Either Eraser is an idiot who genuinely doesn't believe that there's a power imbalance between Midoriya and Bakugo, or he's aware of it and sees no problem with it and doesn't deign to do anything about it. You can understand how neither of these options do him any favors

I'm not saying he isn't an enabler.

I'll acknowledge that my preferred version of Aizawa is mostly fanon because I like him better when he's a good man and a good father figure to the kids. But I know that he enabled Bakugou.

It's why in every five I write the backstory is that Aizawa doesn't read teacher comments and he assumes based on Bakugou’s attitude that he was treated like a villain. Because it gives us a reason why Aizawa does defend Bakugou. As for Izuku: I think Nezu never included the activation date or even Izuku kept it quiet out of fear. He never tells ANYONE when he got his Quirk for a long time. So I can actually understand why Aizawa would think Izuku is lazy in that situation. I think Aizawa is a fucking idiot for not looking into it further, but that's me.

However I can't remember Aizawa ever blaming Izuku for the fights with Bakugou. I literally can't. He blames them BOTH for the after curfew fight which is highly unfair but it's not solely Izuku. I've rewritten enough of the series that I can see how unfair Aizawa is BUT with his personality I can't understand why. It feels incredibly out of character to me that a guy who hates when people coast on their Quirks and acts like a bunch of entitled dicks would give Bakugou a pass. Hence my headcanon.

Aizawa does enable Bakugou: and it's WILDLY out of character even early on. This is why I think Horikoshi either: a) wants Bakuhou around the most and will make everyone OOC to do it or b) is being forced to keep the guy in due to popularity.

But to say he ONLY blames Izuku is wrong. He's just never punishing Bakugou which isn't good. I won't deny Aizawa is a dick the first while before becoming more open. However: he's not the one at fault for Bakugou’s actions. Bakugou would have figured a way out to bully Izuku no matter what. He'd have gotten sneaker and meaner over time. That's what abusers do. He'd have hit Izuku in places people can't see and he'd have done things to mess with him.

Aizawa did enable Bakugou. But to have him receive a horrible punishment when Bakugou gets off Scott free is my issue. If Aizawa is fired for not doing anything, Bakugou should be expelled. If Bakugou just needs anger management, Aizawa just needs therapy.

To me, Aizawa honestly thought Bakugou just needed guidance. He never threatens Izuku with expelling him after the first day. He pulls logical ruses, does train Shinsou over them and isn't a great teacher but NO teacher at UA is a good one. Vlad King certainly the hell isn't given he hasn't cracked down on Kendo or Monoma for their shit. Power Loader isn't for not stopping Mei from her antics. Present Mic and Midnight could have done something to. All Might isn't a great teacher either.

Aizawa is an idiot who got blinded by his own beliefs. Bakugou is a child who was hurt by society and needs guidence while Izuku is the old version of Kirishima: a well meaning guy who pushes to much. That's what Aizawa thinks I believe. That's what he is to me. Someone who honestly has the best intentions but fucks up.

But again: the issue will always be the unequal punishment for Bakugou when he is the sole person at fault. He didn't need an enabler the very first day: he attacked Izuku no matter what. His actions are his own.

[orchdaria]

short mun introduction here. hi, hi! i'm autumn (she/they, 21+) and i bring you not only my baby aera here, but also moon taeho (@mooninkd) & ahn kiha (@srnscng) so feel free to contact me on any of them! i also have discord upon request ♡

short muse introduction here. kim aera. 25 y/o. a nurse practitioner at cheongdanhae clinic and a resident! she was born and raised in yuseong bay all her life and honestly she has never known anything else nor she does really want to (for now anyway) even though she might claim otherwise. here is her profile and here is her pinterest!

answer the following prompts, either ooc or ic!

when did your muse first arrive in yuseong bay?      as said before, aera was born and raised in yuseong bay! she once dreamed of doing med school in some big city (seoul) just like her big sister that also went there for her university degree and have her little young adult adventures, however in the end she gave up the idea because of certain circumstances in her life. not that she's sad about not leaving yuseong bay anymore!! actually she wholeheartedly sees it as her home; she likes her job and she likes the house that she lives in, she likes (esp!!) the stray cats on the bay and she genuinely doesn't see herself living somewhere else (at least for now).

what does an average day look like for your muse?      she wakes up around 7am, has a cup of homemade matcha latte (recipe from her mother! she wanted to consume caffeine in a "healthy" manner so aera grew up with more matcha than coffee in her life) while attending to the small garden that she has (that was also her mother's!), talks to the plants a little bit so they can grow well and then goes back inside to have a proper breakfast, talks a little with the picture that she has of her parents in their little altar. then she gets ready goes to work after a cheerful i'm going now but i'll be back in the evening! goodbye to them so she's at clinic at 9am. as promised is only back around dinner time; usually she's too tired to cook so she buys dinner on the way or shamelessly stops by the place of one of the elderly couples/people that saw her grow up and knows that they'd never refuse to feed her (as a matter of fact they're more than glad to do so!), besides the company always does her good. then she goes home to watch some drama while doing some crocheting, especially if she didn't have any other opportunity to do so during her day (like having a slow day at work or anything like that); goes to bed around 10pm the earliest, 11pm to 12am the latest.

where can your muse usually be found?      besides work (rip aera and her 10 hours shifts), she can also be seen around the pier around mid afternoon, even more so during the colder seasons, trying to put sweaters (that she made herself) on the cats of the community they have in yuseong bay; goes to daeyanghwa florals every two weeks or so (or when she wants to treat herself a little) to get gardening supplies or new seeds/flowers for her garden and goes to lemon martes almost weekly for groceries because she always forgets one thing or two even with always having her groceries list with her— also enjoys the farmer's market to see the stalls and encountering a familiar face or two. once in a blue moon, she can also be seen in the recreation center trying to start some working out routine that she drops after a day or two.

how does your muse feel about hanhwa resort?      it's a little complicated because as much as she loves the fact that it's bringing attention to yuseong bay and allowing new people to go in and out of the town in a frequency that was never seen before, aera can't help but also feel a little resistant to how it's changing the town that she has known since she was young, after all, she was never good at dealing with change to begin with and if she really stops to think about it, she gets anxious about her own lifestyle being affected eventually (esp because of the higher prices that are only getting even higher); on top of it, she doesn't like the overall way that the resort treats the rest of the city, either like they're an annoyance to their business or as if they were part of the entertainment that they were providing.

is there an aspiration for your muse to stay in or leave yuseong bay?      as said before, aera isn't very good with changes and she has lots of attachments with the town so she has more reasons to stay than to leave. even if she does say that she dreams of a life out of it (and romanticizes the hell out of it), deep inside she feels like the calm and quiet life of a small town like yuseong bay suits her the most and she doesn't genuinely sees herself anywhere else for now. but then it's hard to say how much those desires is from the way she decided to deal mainly with her grief and how much is from a personal desire/want or even if it really matters in the end.

answer the following, ooc!

list your muse’s three favorite songs.      in no particular order: red velvet - about love ; twice - cruel ; taeyeon - time lapse.

describe your muse’s wardrobe.      cute scrubs, mostly very light/pastel colors, a combination of feminine and comfortable. loves loves to wear oversized sweaters/cardigans (and alikes), even more so when she learned how to make them herself and that's why it's not unusual to see her with rolled up sleeves of whatever she's wearing so her hands are usable, also adores short overalls and high waist bottoms (skirts, shorts, jeans, etc etc), sneakers over anything else but does own a couple of heels for any "fancier" events even if they're very rare.

what is a color, word, and emoji that you feel describes your muse?      lilac, daydream, 🐣

three strong likes and dislikes for your muse.      really likes crochet, rom coms, matcha bubble tea / really dislikes interrupted naps, almonds, iced americano (and/or most iced coffees)

three positive and negative traits for your muse.      positive traits softspoken, dutiful, caring / negative traits fanciful, unambitious, naive

three talents and shortcomings for your muse.      talents has a good memory, high tolerance for spicy food, queen of small talking/starting conversations / shortcomings doesn't know how to say no even when she wants to, can't whistle, trusts people that she shouldn't

what is a book/tv series/movie/video game character that you feel your character relates to?      she gives off the same energy as honda tohru from fruits basket.

a relevant goal or arch for your character to overcome.      TW DEATH & GRIEF it's been six years since her parents passed away and even though she swears that she's over it, aera obviously isn't. she's still incapable of letting them go. of course that she isn't as depressed as she was during the highest point of her grieving process, but she's also sort of lowkey in denial while clinging to small things that she feels are the only things that she has of her parents (i.e. her house which ends up stretching to yuseong bay as a whole, the necklace she is always wearing that is from her mom's, even her love for match only developed after her mother died, etc etc) so i wished that she'd genuinely move on and cling to her parents' memory in a healthier way/in a way that doesn't stop her from doing things that could want but (maybe) convinces herself that she doesn't (like leaving yuseong bay even if for vacation). END OF TW.      also she's almost ridiculously afraid of ending up alone/feeling lonely so hopefully she'll overcome that and make healthier friendships/be taken less advantage by people just to make them stay 🙏

extra bits !

started crocheting as a way to deal especially with stress related to getting her nurse license and now it's become a habit/hobby, it isn't really unusual to see her crocheting somewhere, even during work if it's a slow day; part of her love language became offering/making sweaters or scarves or keychain sized amigurumis for the people that she cares about (including the community of cats in yuseong bay).

once in a blue moon she gathers enough stuff to sell that at the farmer's market in a very small stall, but it's extremely rare since she has a full time job and usually gives away anything that she makes that isn't for herself anyway.

has a driver's license because her sister insisted that she at least learned how to drive just in case, is pretty ok at it but has no real interest in getting a car for herself.

has a good relationship with her sister even if it'd be easy to assume that they're strained (i.e. big sister doesn't visit often unless it's some special event like chuseok or anything relating to their parents', aera doesn't visit her at all because that would mean leaving yuseong bay, their different personalities, etc etc). they still care for each other and even though big sister can be a little pushy in trying to get aera to move on from the things that she feels like aera needs to, she means well and tries to tone it down when/if aera calls her out in it.

is always wearing a delicate necklace with a pendant of a single (real) pearl that used to be her mother's. the story behind it is that it was aera's father engagement present to her mother, it was even said that he fished that pearl himself and then asked to make a necklace out of it; it's unsure how true this story is but aera believes it wholeheartedly.

had a very serious relationship (wc coming soon!!) that ended up badly and now she's also scared of falling seriously in love again, instead she is more fond of the idea of love and her feelings are completely about the image/idea of the target of her affection that she has in her head instead of the real person, thinking that this way she'll protect herself from genuine feelings + still enjoying her romanticized (and somewhat shallow tbh) idea of love. big consequence of it is that she has at least one new crush every day and then ghosts anyone who shows genuine interest to her.

would love to adopt a cat (or any pet tbh) but feels like her lifestyle is too busy to be able to properly take care of any other living being that isn't the plants in her mother's garden so instead she tries to look after the kittens and any other strays that she meets on the street but then again never fully commits to it.

[chalkrevelations]

Rolling into part 4/4 of this week's Dangerous Romance, and I have done a superhuman job of maintaining my emotional equilibrium so far, first repeating grimly to myself through gritted teeth that Kanghan is a teenaged boy who has some fear and grief to process when he turned on Sailom immediately after promising that they would get through this together, and only threatening once to reach into the screen to strangle him when he pulled out that completely noxious little speech about "poor people" and what they'll do for money, because yeah, fuck you and the coddled little gremlin that's rearing its ugly head back up again. That's actually something I might be going back to at some later point, because I think it's maybe related to one of the deeper themes of the show, but for right now, just let me tell you, it's not looking good in the preview for 4/4, because no, Kanghan, you don't get to turn him out into the street like an abandoned dog and then have a single. fucking. word. to say about what he does to survive after that. You may be allowed to have his back by rescuing him from dangerous situations, but you do not get to say a single. fucking. thing. about how he ended up in those situations in the first place, particularly if it's in anything even approaching an accusatory tone or a raised voice. (I know what's coming, and I'm breathing. I'm breathing. I'm breathing.)

Three days ago, you wouldn't have given a rat's ass if your dad got shot, and the only reason you do now is because of Sailom. Who was also - let us not forget - the one person out of everybody who didn't want Saifah in the Sukprasert house in the first place.

Also, I'm assuming there's a gigantic puzzle piece we don't know about yet that's going to come to light whenever we get a flashback to the conversation that Name and Saifah had after Name said he'd need Saifah's help for his last job for his hardcase boss. I guess we'll get the flashback when we find out that Grandma Ging was right about Saifah all along. How she can so consistently be right and still manage to raise two perfectly horrible boys in two generations who picked up zero skills from her on how to avoid being a rich prick is something that has me throwing my hands in the air.

Speaking of which, I think this explanation for Kanghan's dad's behavior was ... unsatisfying, Show. First he's Papa Bear, then he's Mama Bear, and Sailom has to come along and play Baby Bear to get Expectations For Kanghan (tm) Just Right? Come on.

Two thumbs up, though, on proving me right to have some faith in you when I said weeks ago that everything was NOT solved and that you were going to circle back around to Kanghan's bad behavior and worst impulses. I have not wanted to put this brat through a wall so bad since Ep 2.

On to 4/4, I guess.

[twoidiotwriters1]

The Curse of Oenone (Leo Valdez xFem!Oc)

A/N: Something about Nico, he will always choose violence (when it comes to Ara) -Danny Words: 2,204 Series' Masterlist Previous Chapter // Next Chapter Listen to: 'Sign of the Times' -by Harry Styles

XXXII: *Sobbing* I'm Fine!

Leo is waiting for them at the top of the gangplank, he grins and waves at the group, then his eyes focus on Frank and her. The moment she reaches his side and Leo has to look up to meet her gaze, he flushes to a cherry tone Ara has never seen on his face.

He speaks in a strangled voice. "Ares?"

"Mars. I don't know, I doubt it matters," Ara says, self-conscious about their height difference. "How does it look?"

"You could crash my skull with your thighs," he blurts out.

Hazel gasps, fanning her face scandalized at his comment. "Gods, I hate you," Nico groans, guiding his flustered sister away from them.

Ara hurries past Leo and goes to her cabin to check her reflection, her breath hitches at the sight: she looks exactly like Arachne's tapestry minus the cape and hair. Yesterday she had baby fat around her face, her abs were a soft belly, and now she looks like a high school senior who never misses a workout. Arms toned and longer legs—she barely fits in the mirror, since it was designed for a girl that was 5'3.

"Holy crap," she breathes. Someone knocks on her door, and she finds Nico standing there, waiting to be let in. "I'm tall," she states in shock.

"Congrats. What was the fight about? The one you had with Lily?"

Ara knows this will bring an argument, but if it doesn't happen today, it'll happen at an even worse time. "I told her we couldn't trust you."

Nico visibly tenses. "I'm not surprised."

Ara turns to face him properly. "I had a good reason, you know what I'm talking about."

Nico's eyes darken. "My dad forbade me to talk about it. One of your patrons—your main patron, or did you forget?"

"How can I? Ever since that day, I've been the babysitter of his little prince."

"I told you I wanted no part of your stupid camp, but it was you who promised—"

"You needed a place to live—"

"You expected everyone to act like I don't creep them out."

"Oh, cry me a river," Ara walks past him. "I've got more important things to do than to listen to the same complaints on repeat."

"Crap!" Ara struggles with the damaged oar, she hisses when it scratches her palm. "Leo, I forgot my gloves, can you toss them over?"

Leo seizes her Octopi bag and rummages through its contents. "You didn't grab them? That's basic gear, Ara."

"I don't do basic," she responds.

Leo looks over the railing. "Say what?"

"It's like maths," Ara squints when she looks up. "Unnecessary."

The boy holds onto the handrail as he leans in dramatically. "You think is what?"

"Oh no..." She mumbles and tilts her head. "My scolding senses are tingling..."

Leo scowls. "Get your ass back here—and be careful."

He doesn't reprimand her like, ever, not even tries to, but his job is the one thing he takes seriously, so Ara climbs back on deck and dusts off her hands expecting the berating of the week. 

Leo spots the scrape on her hand and searches for his tool belt. "You almost lost an arm last December and you think being careful is unnecessary?"

"Oh, that was different," Ara watches Leo heal her. "Silly things—"

"Silly?" Leo looks up and his eye twitches. "Fixing the oars and giving Festus an upgrade ain't like changing the batteries of a TV remote, sweetheart. And maths? You need maths!"

She laughs nervously. "You okay?"

"Arae Jackson, that's negligence!" He exclaims. "Is this why they call you Dr Frankenstein back in camp?"

"Oh, you know about that?" She asks unbothered.

"That's it, you're not allowed to work on the repairs."

Her mouth opens in shock. "Leo, you know I'm a good repairperson, don't do this!"

"You heard me," he tries to take the harness off her, muttering grumpily. "Don't do maths, seriously..."

"Hey! Stand back!" Ara keeps him away. Leo is smaller than her now and he was never strong to begin with. "I'll finish the task whether I'm wearing the harness or not!"

"You're not helping yourself!" Nico speaks out of nowhere, both teens looking up to see him at the top mast.

"Stay out of this!" Ara seizes Leo's wrist. "Stop!"

It's kind of cute, seeing him angry over this. Reminds her of Mike a bit, which makes her feel kind of guilty. "Promise you'll be careful in the right way, not yours!"

Ara rolls her eyes. "Can I have my gloves, then?"

"Put them on before you go back," Leo crosses his arms. "I don't understand why Beckendorf made you Cabin Nine's right-hand girl if you ignore safety procedures."

"Beck had the knowledge, I had the spirit," she puts the gloves on with an amused expression. "Anyway... I need insulation stuff—the spongy one? And Industrial glue, and the..." She makes a gesture as if holding something and puffs some air out of her lips. "To fuse the bronze to the hull..."

"Insulation foam, industrial glue, metal welding kit—and bronze-welding rods to reattach the frame to the hull," the boy turns to get the goods.

Ara beams. "And welding goggles."

"'Course," Leo grabs stuff from his toolbox, the rest are from his magic belt. Ara stands there waiting. "Anything else?"

"Your hand in marriage?"

"Dang it, woman! You can't make me forget how irresponsible you are by love-bombing me!" Leo exclaims, handing the tools to her.

Ara puts the goggles on. "Seriously, Cabin Nine kids can tell what I'm talking about after a few tries, but you don't even think about it, that's awesome."

Leo looks away to hide his blush. "Your brain works similarly to mine, that's all. It's why we're attracted to each other in the first place."

It's nice to hear that's what Leo thinks about their situation. "We're soulmates." She says it so matter-of-factly that it makes Leo light up as much as the sun. Ara clears her throat and steps back. "Well, I'm going..."

"Yeah," Leo mumbles, a little smile playing on his face. "I'll be watching, my soon-to-be fiancé."

Above them, Nico groans again, but they both ignore him.

Leo has long forgotten he's supposed to be checking Ara's work while installing Festus's upgrade. Instead, he's just eyeing her, trying not to be obvious, but doing a terrible job.

He can't even hate the fact that she's taller than him by a lot. She's the only demigod that looks god-like in his eyes, Ara's beauty grows with every blessing, no smudge of dirt she gets from her hard work can take it away. When she moves, her body gets framed by the dying sunlight in a way that makes Leo lightheaded.

She's wearing the hair tie he made for her, holding her shiny brown locks in a loose braid, and the way she scrunches up her nose in concentration, the tip of her tongue poking out... The more he looks, the more his heart races. 

She was once out of his league, now she's out of everyone's orbit. She's skillful and experienced, and Leo has a hard time understanding why she would love someone as inconsequential as him.

"You should be careful."

Nico's voice comes to remind him not everything is perfect. Leo jumps out of his skin and swears in Spanish, he glares at the tall boy standing behind him. "Dude, can you not do that?"

Nico doesn't apologize before adding to his comment. "Ara's fool's gold."

Leo frowns. "What?"

Nico glances at the girl, he's angry at her for trying to convince Lily, his only friend, to stop trusting him. Two can play the same game. "She looks good, then you get closer and realize it's all pretend. You call her a doll, right?" He laughs shortly. "That's accurate. Ara likes playing with boys like you."

Leo's fists start to smoke. "Don't you mean boys like us?"

Nico's taken by surprise, a creepy smile forms on his face when he understands what Leo is insinuating. He won't clear up the misunderstanding, Leo has the same arrogant air Ara has when challenged, and is always far more entertaining to watch those kinds of people trip over their feet.

Nico steps closer. "I can get under her skin like no one else. Have you ever asked her why she loathes having me around? You should. She doesn't like to be questioned, so you'll get to see the real Arae."

"She's the General," Leo replies tensely. "You're not supposed to question her, smartass."

Nico's smirk grows. "I see why she likes you." The boy turns to leave. "Ask her."

"I know why she hates you," Leo says confidently, which causes Nico to laugh again.

"No, you don't," he reaches the stairs. "Ask her about the curse."

Ara takes a look at the finished product. "Good as new, right?"

Festus blows out steam and Ara recoils, feeling the air around her get hotter when he does that. She takes off the goggles and dries the sweat off her brow. 

"I'll take that as a yes."

The moon is high above but very thin, so Ara has a bit of trouble finding her way back to the deck, she doesn't notice Leo until she's right under the handrail. The boy's watching in silence with a scowl on his face. 

She jumps over the railing landing on both feet, then dusts off her hands, and nods at Leo. "Hey."

He walks over to the control board. "Hey."

"I'm done," she announces proudly. "I was very safe the whole time."

"Good job," he checks the monitor. "Festus's stable, so are the oars." 

Leo looks at her doing a quick scan. Ara is covered in sweat and grime, her cheeks are flushed... he can't think of any girl who would look better than she does like this, but Nico succeeded in his attempt to plant a seed of doubt, and Leo can't shake off the feeling that Ara has been lying to him about something.

Besides, he once overheard Percy and Ara talking, and her brother mentioned an old crush she used to have on Nico... Leo panicked and sneaked back to his cabin after hearing that, but the words stuck in his brain and he couldn't take them out.

Ara sighs. "I promise to be careful from now on, I'll use a calculator and everything..."

Leo's seen the way she looks at him lately, like it hurts to be near him. At first, he thought it was guilt because she'd decided to leave her camp, but now... What if the love's fading out between them?

"I..." he starts quietly, swallowing the lump in his throat. "How do you feel?"

"Great!" She smiles. "I'd missed it, getting my hands dirty reminded me of home, it made me feel useful."

"You're always useful," he replies. "But you definitely have a natural aptitude for mechanics."

"I was fated to," Ara replies casually. "Thank you for letting me do this."

"You don't have to thank me. You're the General."

"Yeah, well..." she continues, now trying to ignore his weird vibes. "I'll go take a shower before dinner."

Leo blurts out the first thought in his mind. "I didn't know someone could make me this stupid."

Leo would rather jump into Tartarus than tinker with something that doesn't need fixing... but what if it does? Sometimes a machine doesn't look broken, but it malfunctions anyway. He can't deny that their relationship feels... unbalanced. A creation jumpstarted without all the necessary precautions, and there's a buzzing coming from it that Leo can't identify, but it's making his skin crawl.

Ara is unsure of where this is going. "What's wrong?"

He can't think when her eyes are on him like this, he has this urge to make her smile, and he doesn't know where that comes from. Sure, he loves making people laugh, but with Ara... it almost feels like an obligation.

He struggles to form a proper sentence. "I think you're lying to me."

Ara pales, which is not a good sign. "What?"

"You wanted to jump off the cliff," he continues. "And you tried to leave us when Reyna cornered us at the Fort—"

"Leo—"

"Let me finish," he presses anxiously. "You weren't surprised when Nemesis gave you that weird warning, and you've been acting even weirder since we rescued di Angelo—"

"I—"

"Don't lie to me," he demands. "Your prophecy mentions a curse—The curse of love. Does that mean—"

"This is Nico talking," Ara's eyes darken. "I thought he was ending his shift, but he came to taunt you, didn't he?"

Leo feels like throwing up, but more than that, he feels insulted. "So what if he did?"

"He wants us to get into an argument," Ara steps forward. "Don't let him do this!"

Leo steps back. "Then answer my question."

Unexpectedly, her eyes brim with tears. "I can't."

Some part of him that he's not even aware of triggers, Leo is too distraught to think, his heart is breaking. "You said promises were important to you, but you're not keeping yours."

"There are things that I need to keep under control," she speaks with a trembling voice.

"What things?" He asks bitterly. "Me?"

"Don't say that!" She squeezes the gloves in her hands. "We've failed too many times, Leo. I can't risk it. As your General, I'm telling you to stay out of it."

Leo doesn't like how she says that, her voice weighs like it carries centuries of painful memories, and it sounds like Ara thinks Leo will ruin her plans, and that stings.

"Chiron was right," he says aghast. "Your ambition blinds you. No matter what the outcome is, it's never enough, is it?"

Ara can't stand another second of that conversation, so she abandons it, and Leo doesn't stop her.

Next Chapter –>

Taglist.

@siriuslysirius1107 @ask-giggles1303 @asnyox-the-hoarder @im-planning-something-look @bandshirts-andbooks @coolninjapaper @thewaterlily @whenisthefall @1randomcomic @you-bloody-shank @sunflowergraves @owlalex44 @taylordaughter @typicalsolangelolover @writingmia @espressopatronum454 @slytherinnqueen @orbitingpolaris @obxstiles @ellipsisspelled @thepixiechicksh

[ofcoffee-andletters]

FFXIV Write Day 26 - Zip

Note: This may not be about any specific WoL beside it being a male WoL but I am writing this with my usual catte boye in mind. Please do enjoy if you picture your own WoL that might also be a dancer.

Post-Endwalker

Zip : to move, act, or function with speed and vigor : energy, vim

————————

Laughter fills the place, there’s the sound of music accompanying the rhythmic steps of a figure on stage — his moves are fast and calculated, his face is covered with a veil that does nothing to stop the whispers among the patrons of Mehryde’s Meyhane asking about who the dancer was.

To the sides, Ranaa Mihgo cheers alongside Miss Nashmeira — a clear indication that Troupe Falsiam is making a stop at home for once, and when people come closer to ask, the young miqo’te doesn’t hesitate for a second before announcing that this is a special performance.

Miss Nashmeira wants to scold her overexcited pupil — but for once, this is fine, so she turns to explain, “The dancer on stage is one of my two best pupils…since it had been a while since I allowed him to go without being linked to our troupe…I decided to test if he has been practicing and, of course, asked for the blessing of the establishment to put on a small show…”

Ranaa Mihgo can’t help but sigh, her hands going to her hips as she seems happy and a bit taken aback, “I promised next time I was going to be much better and yet, he keeps beating me…at this rate he will be called a flower far more than me!” At the joke, some of the patrons who are within earshot can’t help but laugh.

A chakram flies and Ranaa is able to catch it with her hand, raising an eyebrow towards the star of the stage — looking how the weapon had been sent towards her in something akin to an invitation, and before she can even turn to look at their formal tutor on the arts of dancing, she is already being pushed forward. “Dance. You’re being invited and it would be rude to reject him…”

Upon the stage two figures dance, like a battle and like two friends who haven’t met each other in too long — there’s an edge of danger with every little throw of the round blades but also a inherent trust only a fellow dancer could feel next to someone they understand.

The Meyhane is filled with nothing but awe, the sound of clapping and the music fills the hearts of everyone present as they forget whatever woes their days brought, they enjoy the moment, they’re filled with nothing but the happiness and joyous melodies of the music and their eyes fixed upon the pair that dances in front of them — showing them all more than just a dance, than just a show…

Proof that even after the darkest night comes the brightest morning and enjoying life is never wrong. For the two dancers enjoying their moment are well aware that they have the power to bring hope to the people — one may only have her dancing, but the other, oh, the other knows this and more…and will make sure to turn the wheels of Dynamis towards positive energy whenever possible.

After all — healing the soul is also his job.

[rosyandraw]

I'm doing a rereading because a long time ago I promised you I would come back with all of my thoughts but then life got in the middle and I lost my phone notes but whatever 🌷✨🎀 I'm back! 🎀✨🌷

Hihi lovely girl!! it's me your Berry anon 🫐🫐 how you doing?? I read you quit your job and that you wrote a whole book? WOW I'm so happy for you.. hope everything is wonderful.

Now.. I came here because before my re reading of nmfy I decided to reread Deliver which is the first fanfic I read from you (I loved it 💛💛 I honestly come back to it every Christmas)

But well my point was that I love your writing and I especially love your Damens. I think no one does modern aus Damen like you do 💖💖 he really feels like if Capri was a romcom / contemporary novel then that how they would be but even more for Damen... soooo i was wondering which one between deliver and nmfy do you think its closer to canon possiblities? and which one did you enjoy writing the most? Haha 👀👀👀

Well that's all for now this time I will come back with an even longer ask of me talking about nmfy last chapter 👀😍 this time I'm for real 😬

Kisses, kisses your now and forever Berry anon 🫐🍒🫐

(can you believe it's been so long that I finally have an actual berry emoji?🫠)

Ps: if you don't feel like answering my question just forget about it haha I just got curious 🧐😘

YAAAYYY!!!!! Omfg I was wondering where you had gone, I hope everything is okay and that you’re living your best life!!

As always you are way too nice and I love you for that haha, what have you been doing with yourself?

OMG YES I WROTE A BOOK! Do you Beta read? I can send it to you after this last draft is done if you would be into dark queer fantasy that’s a little bit ACOTAR x Captive Prince x Kingdom of the Wicked and fancied giving me some feedback haha

Omg you’re too sweet, you don’t have to do that haha! Oooo great question

I think in Deliver there is a recklessness to Damen that Damen could never allow himself in canon due to his position when in Akielos, but which he rolls with pretty easily when he’s “just a slave” in Vere so I leant into that more a bit more. The stakes are lower so his drive isn’t the same and that obviously effects his view of himself and the world.

The NMFY Damen does have a lot of responsibilities so he has stricter rules to live by. He’s still done some bad stuff but he is dedicated all the same. The Auguste stuff has made Damen less blind to the world around him than he is in Canon though. I still think NMFY Damen is probably closer to Canon. For example I can, and have, imagined NMFY Damen punching Laurent in the face like he did at Ravenel lmao. But Deliver Damen would never. But idk, what do you think?

It means a lot to me that you love the way I write contemporary Damen. I think mostly because he’s reduced almost every single time to just Laurent’s Love Interest. Or he’s made into a himbo or a misogynistic prick and I’m just… I fucking hate the reduction of Damen’s character lmao so I’ll always strive to write him as a person (and a crazy nuanced one at that, the way we see in Canon). So thank you, that means a lot to me.

So lovely to hear from you my dear, you always make my day brighter  💕 💕 💕 💕

[diamondangelkitten]

Vierapril Day 28: Present

Alira puts a cup of tea in front of each of the girls as they meet to discuss the current state of affairs. “So, Wuk Lamat is wanting us to go to Tural and we’re currently able to tag along without agreeing to actually be on her side?”

Aurora nods, “Erenville is being quite mum on the topic. He seems to want to talk about it, but I really don’t think he’s allowed to say anything.”

“I’m surprised you’ve had much time to talk about it at all,” Alira quips with a wink.

Aurora narrows her eyes, but doesn’t comment. Annabeth sits back, crossing her arms, “We also need to talk about the other person who’s been following us.”

Alinea shakes her head, “I’m positive she’s following Wuk Lamat, but I don’t think she’s a threat at all.”

Alira thinks, “From what I briefly saw of her, she seems to be tailing Wuk Lamat. Maybe she’s a guard? She seemed tense when the rest of y’all were fighting the bird on the Isle of Haam.”

Aurora hums, “I can ask Erenville about that. I did forget to ask him about it prior,” she blushes.

Alinea smiles, “No harm done. I’ve asked Estinien to go on ahead. See if he can’t also scout out what Thancred and Urianger are up to. But, that does leave an open question.” Her voice drifts off, and Alira raises her head to see all three girls looking at her. “Oh no, what now?”

Annabeth takes a breath, before stating their request, “Won’t you consider coming with us? Sibbie, Sid, and Rielle are welcome to come too! Please reconsider.”

Alira is stunned. “You want me to bring my 4 year old with us? We fight monsters and gods!? I’d be worried about her all the time. It’s not safe. We know nothing about Tural or what we’re walking in to.”

Annabeth nods, “I know, but I promise we’ve thought this out. Aurora already has Erenville who’s giving her as honest as he can view of what’s going on. Alinea has Estinien on the ground, plus, Gaius and Allie are even coming along this time.”

“What?”

Aurora chimes in before Annabeth can respond, “Yea! It turns out Rex and the others have taken jobs in the New World, so they can also provide us a real local’s perspective. Allie wants to see them again and it’s not like a lot of people in the New World would know what Gaius looks like directly.”

Annabeth nods at Aurora, before continuing, “Aurora’s right. So Allie would love to help Rielle take care of Sibbie. Plus having Sid as another fighter could always come in handy, and Aurora’s dad is the one taking us to Tural, so she’ll be safe on the journey over too.”

Alira puts her face in her hands, elbows on the kitchen table, sighing. “Alinea, you agree with this?”

“I do.”

Alira sighs, looking up at them. At that time, Rielle comes running into the house with Sibbie on her hip who seems to be laughing. “What’s wrong?” Alira asks, picking Sibbie up and inspecting her.

“Well, one, the whole of Ishgard already seems to know where you’re going on your next adventure. Two, I’m pretty sure Sibbie can cast magic already.”

All the girls turn to look at Rielle. “Are you sure?” Alinea asks.

“Well, we’ll be finding out soon. Aymeric’s on his way here.” All four girls tense, before hustling and bustling to try and clean up Alira’s house a bit.

Alira answers the door before Aymeric’s second knock. He enters with Handeloup and settles in. “My apologies for the intrusion, but I stopped by the Fortemps Manor where Lord Charlemend and Captain Carvallain were there conversing with Edmont Fortemps. I happened to overhear that you all, apart from maybe Alira, may be heading to the New World soon?”

Rielle looks at the girls and she can see how ramrod straight Alira’s back is. She knows that none of the girls particularly care for politics and know that this is a very difficult situation to be in. Alinea decides to answer, “We cannot say anything yet for certain. But we have been sent a request and we are in the process of determining if we will be addressing it.”

“It would be wonderful to have an envoy of Ishgard for the meeting there, but alas, there was also much talk of the Scions disbanding. Reports around the city states seems to indicate that you are maybe handling this request as a group.”

Aurora gasps, but before anyone can ask her why, a small fire starts on the hem of Lord Aymeric’s cloak. He jumps, before he and Handeloup try and contain the fire. “Whatever was the meaning of that?” He doesn’t sound upset, but extremely confused.

Alira shakes her head, “I have no idea.”

Aurora, however, tilts her head, “I think I know.” She looks to Sibbie in Alira’s arms, “I do believe your daughter can cast magic and is very prone to the emotions of others.”

Alira looks to Rielle, before looking to the girls, “I’m very sorry Lord Commander, but now is not a good time. Please call again tomorrow and we’ll have more answers for you.” He starts to protest, but before he can there’s another draft of smoke from the hem of the cloak, and he takes the hint, with Handeloup close at his heels.

As soon as they depart, Alira turns to the girls, “So, we’re joining you as a family. Help me pack up. We’re leaving now for Sharlyan.”

[powerofmettatonneo]

Happy Birthday Jason!/An Announcement + Bonus Content

After half a month of no updates on What Measure is a Non-Human, I finally have one! And, since y'all have been dedicated enough to follow my Tumblr, y'all get to be the first ones to know (all one of you currently; hi IYP! Thanks for all the support!).

I've been hard at work writing the story, but not spending as much time editing it as I would like, so I'm currently sitting on two-three chapters. This is because the mental downtime I have at my job gives me a lot of time to think of ideas that I want to immediately write down before I forget them, but the physical time I spend there takes away from the time I can spend editing it. I could hypothetically release them with less editing done on them, but I want to hold myself to a higher standard of what I release into the world and do genuinely enjoy the editing process. However, with that all being said, I have three days off in a row, and I'm going to use this chance to buckle down and try and get them ready for publication by Valentine's Day. Unfortunately, I can't promise anything, but I do have other news that I can make assurances on.

I've decided that Valentine's Day is Jason's birthday. I wanted to give most of the major characters birth months, at least, just for chronological cohesion; I chose this day in particular for Jason because I have personal history with the day that, when combined with the fact that he's the mc of a romance story, made it the perfect day for him. In celebration of his birthday, I have written out a 7k word prequel one-shot all about the confession/first kiss that I will be posting on Valentine's Day, come hell or high water.

I actually wrote a first draft of the first kiss portion all the way back in December, right after the second chapter, and as a bonus for those of you who take the time to find this post, whether now or in the future, I'm going to share it with you. Most of it will be repetitive to the last bit of the finished story, so beware of spoilers I guess (but this is a prequel anyways so like do they even matter), but I have added enough to the final product to make it stand out and above. Really, this is largely just to archive it as I think it's interesting to see how any story evolves over time, much less my own, and I hope y'all feel the same way. See y'all on Valentine's Day, and without further ado, here goes the original first kiss scene (also fair warning, there's still no smut, but it does get more explicit than I've previously allowed it to):

…Hazel reached up and kissed him. Jason entered a state of shock, freezing in place. At first, his mind went completely and totally blank, but that quickly changed into a series of scattered thoughts as his mind tried to reconfigure itself. I'm being kissed. By Hazel. Who is a Pokemon. Oh Arceus, I’m being kissed by a Pokemon—and it’s one of the best things I’ve ever felt. As soon as he returned to coherent thought, however, the kiss ended. Hazel pulled away, and Jason could see that she looked… scared. The look in her eyes was the same that he had when he confessed his feelings to her. It hit him then; the kiss was her idea of a response, and he had just frozen in place like an idiot. He could imagine the doubts and fears rushing through her at his complete lack of a reaction. He also knew exactly how to alleviate them.

Jason narrowed the gap between them and restarted the kiss. He could clearly feel the surprise in his partner and just as clearly feel it melt away as she returned it. Her lips felt velvety against his as they both pushed against each other with all their might. All of the nerves, the adrenaline, the raw energy they were feeling was channeled into the kiss. They fell back onto the bed, Hazel on top, and didn't stop for a second. It felt like they were melting together, becoming one.

Hazel broke from the kiss, and before Jason had a chance to react, she dragged her tongue across his lips. She moved it down, trailing along his chin and neck, resulting in a small moan escaping his mouth. When she arrived at his shirt, she grabbed it with her teeth and began tugging at it.

“S-stop,” Jason gasped, lightly pushing his partner back. Hazel let go of his shirt and stared at him, a look of disappointment in her eyes. It hurt him to see it, but he had read enough ‘romance’ stories to know where this was going.

“I’m sorry, but we can’t do this right now,” he said, trying to let her down gently.

“Umbre,” she whimpered, looking down at her feet. She felt ashamed at herself for pushing so hard so fast and afraid of what her best friend would think of her for it. Or, she did, until the implication of those last two words hit her. She jolted her head back back up and was met with a worried smile on Jason’s face.

“I’m not saying never,” he started, “but I don’t think I’m ready for something like that yet, and I’m pretty sure mom would just straight up kill us if she found out.” Hazel just sighed at that, but even the vague hope of “not never” sent a small shiver up her spine. She laid down on top of him, enjoying his warmth. They sat there in a comfortable silence for a while, simply enjoying each other’s touch in the wake of the roller coaster of emotions they had both just experienced, and soon drifted off to sleep, not caring what tomorrow might bring so long as they had each other.

[Also, one final super extra bonus note: my beta only left one comment on this original draft when I showed it to her, and it was too funny not to mention: on the line "Her lips felt velvety against his", she simply wrote "I refuse to consider the mechanics of this", to which I simply responded "coward".]