#i promise i'm not on crack

[victorie552]

Kind of a weird AU but hear me out:

Finwe marries Indis, right? Most controversial thing Finwe ever done and that includes leading elves from their ancestral home to a new continent to live with gods. Silmarillion says that it happened because he fell in love and I believe it BUT what Silmarillion doesn't tell you is WHEN Finwe marries Indis. I saw posts that say the canon is inconclusive and Tolkien probably changed his mind a lot, and half of what of what Tolkien wrote is thrown from the window by fandom, so.

Anyway, one of the versions said Feanor was at least a teenager when Finwe/Indis happens (I think). What Silmarillion states is that Feanor married VERY young by elven standards, and that Nerdanel was below his station (classism? in elven society? apparently!).

Last thing before I get to the main point: Fingolfin marries Anaire, a Noldo lady, who I saw often enough written as a noble or a court lady, perfectly fine that, no idea if that's canon. And Finarfin very much marries Teleri princess.

...I don't know guys, it feels very convienient. For princes to fall in love with exactly the kind of women who would be approved by royal court and strenghten political ties with other elven factions. If it was anything else than silm, I would call political marriages.

Time for crack: based on what I wrote above I propose an AU where it was FEANOR who was supposed to marry Indis. For politics! Vanyar are the most important faction in Aman! Let's marry into that!

But the MOMENT Feanor became an adult and they could process with courting without making it creppier than it already is, Feanor runs off to elope with his coworker and there's nothing they can do. Well, that's what Finwe tells Ingwe when Ingwe rages about it to him.

Finwe loves Feanor, he wants him to marry for love, and that's exactly what happens. But, uh, all Vanyar are pissed that there's no political marriage when they were promised one (they mad cause they look stupid now), and, well. Finwe decides to bite the bullet. For his son.

It's not true of course. But imagine family dinners after that.

[lanawinterscigarettes]

good old fashioned lover boy and killer queen except it's the doctor and the master

[graygiantess]

Bosoms

I read "they’re doing crazy things to Armand’s bosoms on ao3" on Twitter and was activated like a yaoi sleeper agent.

Read Bosoms now on ao3!

Starring: Armand and vampire Old Man Daniel

Rating: M

Tags: body worship, nipple play, fluff

Part of my Hubris: crack treated seriously series.

[gwendolynnderolo]

teen wolf memes part 16: i’m running out of title ideas

i'm literally never gonna stop making these it's too much fun. shout out to @burnthatbridgewhenwecometoit you're the best as always

teen wolf memes part 16

[utilitycaster]

I enjoy shipping, but I cannot see the appeal in watching shows only for the purpose of shipping; I think it closes you off to so much. I think coming into a work with the expectation that it will only succeed if a particular configuration of people end up happily in a relationship with each other when the curtain closes means you will reject so many unexpected choices altogether. It destroys your ability to appreciate the entire concept of tragedy. Just, imagine refusing to let yourself enjoy "I'm not a gardener" because you are too furious that a different kiss than the one you wanted happened to feel other emotions.

[all-pacas]

not sure where this came from but did you want a story from the fifteenth annual oncology benefit? of course you did!

featuring chase md in his element (lying to strangers), park/adams, and violence!

-

The benefit has a vague eighties theme, and Chase watches with interest as Dr. Thurmel, the new head of Oncology, makes a joke about it in his welcome speech. He listens as long as he figures is minimally polite and then slides towards the bar to beat the post-speech line: “Vodka tonic,” he says to the man at the nurse’s station-turned-bar, and then, joking to Park, who is lingering with her elbows on the counter already: “Planning on getting wasted?”

“Isn’t it disrespectful?” she asks. Chase has no idea what she means: Park has the bad habit of starting conversations mid-sentence, but she nods towards Thrumel.

Chase wracks his brain and comes up with nothing. “I wouldn’t say the comb-over is a good look, but not sure how it's disrespectful.”

“This is the first oncology benefit since Dr. Wilson… you know,” Park says. “Why is it eighties themed?”

“We’re here to earn money for the hospital, not memorialize,” Chase points out: he very much doubts Wilson would have minded the purple streamers and Duran Duran soundtrack. He takes his drink from the bartender and takes a sip: watery, not much actual alcohol. Foreman had sent him an e-mail reminder this morning: As a department head, you are expected to attend the benefit; annoying, because Chase actually had been planning on it without the reminder, thanks.

Looking around, he’s not entirely sure why. Coworkers in fancy dress, rich donors from the university or schlepped down from Manhattan, lackluster decor, watery drinks. He’s struck by an embarrassing impulse for nostalgia: to tell Park about the time House dragged them all from the party to chase some white whale.

Chase drains his glass too quickly, wincing at the burn. “I didn’t think parties were your thing,” he teases lightly; Park is still, well, parked where she is, elbows on the counter.

“It’s important to have good relationships with your colleagues,” Park says, and something about the way she says it, pointed, makes him frown —

“You avoiding neurology?” Chase guesses, scanning the crowd for her former colleagues. He catches a glimpse of Adams, dressed nicely, complete with pearl earrings, talking to some rich looking older men, then finds Park’s old boss schmoozing it up with Foreman.

“No need,” Park says glumly. “I haven’t existed to them for twenty months.”

“Huh.” A relief, honestly. Chase isn’t sure enough of his new-ish job as department head to know if he’s supposed to defend his employee’s honor — or something — in the case of conflict. House probably would have declared all-out war, but. “We could do something about that,” he offers gamely, but he’s relieved when Park’s mouth thins and she shakes her head no.

He orders another drink.

“What about you?” Park asks. “I thought parties were your thing.”

“This isn’t a party,” he smirks: in truth he’s been going to hospital benefits as long as he can remember, paraded around in support of his father; this sort of thing is boring but it’s an environment in which Chase knows he thrives.

“There’s girls,” Park says pointedly, probably trying to tease him: she waves her hand, accidentally gesturing at Adams as she laughs coyly at a donor’s joke. Chase wonders: rich girl, were her parents the rich donor type? He doesn’t know. He probably won’t bother to ask.

“You’re a girl,” he says.

“Sorry, but I no longer have any sexual interest in you,” Park says, very seriously.

He blinks, puffs himself up with mock outrage. “What? But, Park, after all this time, I…“ Chase laughs at her expression, unable to keep up the act any longer. Park scrunches up her face in annoyance, her gaze darting away —

A-hah. “Dr. Adams looks good, doesn’t she?” he muses. She is, there’s no doubting that, and her dress is tight-fitting and he very much enjoys looking at her in it.

“From our boss, that’s inappropriate,” Park reminds him.

“True,” he says, remembering dimly Cameron, years and years and years ago, fuming that House had compared her to lobby art. He tries not to smile. “It’s fine from you, though.”

Park glowers. Chase pretends to be busy with his drink and watches her glower, take a loud breath through her nose… and glance back over at Adams.

“You should ask her out,” he says, partially in the spirit of friendship and partially because it would be very funny to watch.

“Didn’t you once tell me it was inappropriate to go out with a colleague?”

“And as you so prudently reminded me, I also once was married to a colleague, so who’d take my advice?”

“She’ll say no,” Park says, annoyed. “And if she doesn’t say no, it’ll be a pity date, or a friend date, or a bad date. Or it will be a good date, and we’ll break up because we are very different people who want different things in life, and then you, as our boss, will have to deal with the repercussions of our bitter falling out. Every day.”

“Well, your contracts only last another six months,” Chase jokes, although actually he hadn’t considered that at all and feels a shudder of horror at the idea of Park and Adams, both very obnoxious when in a bad mood, heartbroken and punchy about it.

“I’ve never gone out with a girl before,” Park adds, deflating.

“It’s not that difficult,” Chase tells her, although part of him is still worrying if he’s made a bad call and should stop this train before it goes any further. “You talk to them like you’d talk to anyone else.”

“I think, since I am actually a girl, and you’re not, that I probably know more about talking to girls than you do,” Park snaps, clearly flustered.

“But I’ve dated way more of them,” he points out wryly, and Park glares up at him: from her expression — more petulant than angry — he doesn’t think he’s in immediate threat of being punched.

She glances over at Adams again, realizes what she’s doing, and crosses her arms in a huff, turning her back to Adams and the bar counter entirely. “My bisexual crisis is not the same as you sleeping with half the nursing staff.”

He tries not to pull a face. “It’s not a crisis. You like her. She’s into you —“ Park glances up: Aha, he thinks again—

“How do you know?” Park asks, suspicious of Chase lying.

He is lying, actually, so he shrugs. “From how she acts, I suppose.” When he thinks about it, Chase decides it could be true. Adams complains about Park frequently, but goes out of her way to keep talking to her: they enjoy bickering way more than Chase ever could. “I asked her a while ago,” he admits, a little reluctant. “After the Russo case. If you two weren’t… getting along, yeah?” It had been intensely uncomfortable: Chase was, is, determined to be a more hands-on boss than House was, to actually try to manage his employees, but actually having a talk about interpersonal affairs? He’d put it off for months, but Park and Adams had a shouting match in Russo’s room and Foreman had more or less ordered him to sort them out. Chase had said something like if you have a problem with Park, and Adams had blinked up at him: I don’t, she’d said, honestly surprised. “She said she liked you,” he says, which isn’t true, but was his general impression all the same.

“You’re lying,” Park says.

“I am not,” Chase lies.

“You’re a shitty liar,” Park says.

“Want me to ask her out for you?” Chase grins. “I will. It would be very funny.”

Park whacks his arm. Lightly, for her, so it still stings. “No!”

“I think I’m going to,” Chase decides, draining his glass —

“No!” She hisses, slapping at him again. “Chase!”

Chase shrugs her off — Park is violent but small — and strides with purpose in Adams’s directly, walking slow enough that Park can overtake him or rush ahead if she chooses. Disappointingly, she does neither, and he reluctantly lets her call his bluff: he does still have to work with them both another six months, after all.

He finds himself in the middle of the party, surrounded by small groups of threes and fours, the DJ now playing John Mellencamp. Alone, undistracted, Chase feels the stirrings of nostalgia — fourteen, fifteen, sneaking into the bedroom of his first girlfriend and her stacks of Madonna and Kylie Minogue tapes… sneaking out of the oncology benefit with Cameron one year, when things were good between them… avoiding her and at the same time desperately wanting to find her another year, which looking back on it seemed like premonition…

He regrets his conversation with Park. Dimly, distantly. He should have stayed near the bar, but he can’t go back now; that would be giving up in some way. That would be admitting he feels…

“Dr. Chase,” Adams suddenly calls, as he’s standing around like an idiot: he blinks and she’s waving him over to her, twenty feet away, still with her donor couple. “This is my boss. The head of Diagnostics,” she says, warm and formal and very fake:

“Fantastic to meet you,” Chase says brightly, approaching and shaking hands with her donors, who introduce themselves as Mr and Mrs. Morse.

“Head of Diagnostics? Are your age?” Mrs. Morse clucks.

Chase accounts for her husband and age as he grins over at her. “I’m good at what I do,” he jokes, correctly: they both laugh.

“I was just telling them about the sort of work we do,” Adams says primly, her expression letting him know she doesn’t find him all that charming.

“Diagnostics sounds simply fascinating. Like you’re medical detectives or something!” Mr. Morse enthuses. “And you hardly see any patients?”

“We do a lot of consulting for other departments, but our patient load is necessarily low,” Chase explains smoothly: his smile feels plastered on, and Adams chimes in to elaborate on his point. Her parents were definitely rich donor types, he decides: she’s good at this.

So is he. He answers the couple’s questions, wondering how much of this Adams has already told them, that Mr and Mrs Morse simply needed reiterated by a man, joking and smiling indulgently whenever Adams talks — she’s mad, getting madder, great, she’s going to tell him off later, probably, but in the meanwhile Chase just keeps talking. He tells the couple about the time House treated the Black Death — it’s always popular with these types — and hopes Adams doesn’t stomp on his feet anytime soon, because she’s wearing at least three inch heels: “On it like, well, fleas on a dog,” he’s saying, and then sucks in a breath as his prediction comes true.

“Oops,” she says, pretending to have been jostled by some invisible passerby.

Chase thinks about it for half a second, and decides what the hell. “No problem. Hey, would you mind getting me a drink?” Her eyebrows go into her hairline, and oh, he’s so dead, but he can’t help but smirk at her outrage. “Thanks,” he adds, turning back to the Morses: “The mad thing is, the black death isn’t even the oddest disease we’re run into over the years.”

Adams turns and goes, radiating outrage from her pores: he’s so dead, but it really was very funny. Mrs. Morse asks Chase if he’s ever worried about catching one of these deadly illnesses, a question so common he has a standard answer prepared: he assures her of the low risks, the safety precautions they adhere to, his spine twinging with remembered pain. As he talks, Chase keeps an eye on Adams’s walk to the bar, the way she drapes herself angrily over the counter, turning to Park to complain and commiserate.

Park looks unsubtly in Chase’s direction, glaring. “It’s really a fantastic job,” Chase says insincerely, his best smile plastered on as he gives Park a subtle thumb’s up. Worth it. “I wouldn’t change it for the world.”

[errruvande]

Are people tend to forget about the "in universe" language? I've seen a lot of fanfiction for the shows made in English about another country (France, Italy, Russia etc, none English speaking countries) with main characters being citizens of that particular country and it seems that the authors keep forgetting that English is not the language the characters are actually speaking "in universe".

For example, I've read a fanfic for Reign (set in France with 90% of the characters being French), and there was a dialogue between two french characters with a line

"he said in a thick French accent"

What French accent are you talking about, they are French people speaking French... You just translate their silly conversations into English (or whatever language you're writing in)

I told my bbf that I hate that these things irritate me so much, she said bro you're neurodivergent it makes total sense. I still hate it. It didn't help lol

So, here's the question: do you think about the in universe language when you write stories?

P.S. But yeah, I never meant it to be offensive to the fellow fanfic writers since we all do it for fun (and sadly for free lmao we are not paid enough for that 🥲), it's just something that have cought my attention recently.

[nikothebookdragon]

to anyone not feeling the "christmas spirit" or any kind of cheer in fact, I'm sending you much love. we may be strangers behind screens but in spirit we are holding hands and getting through this together <3

[tiredandoptimistic]

Hey folks, we're closing in on your last chance to take my TSC fandom survey. I'll be posting the results tomorrow afternoon, so if you want to have an impact on the data people see, get your submission in before then.

The form will still be accepting submissions after tomorrow, but it's likely that nobody but me will see what you have to add.

[definitionsfading]

not super duper proud of this or anything but I made a nostalgic impulse purchase this afternoon after work and got a honking massive 3.3oz bottle of the britney spears 'curious' fragrance because it was only $14 on some amazon deal and I needed a dopamine hit after my baking plans fell through for the night. the thing I AM proud of, however, is that they don't seem to sell the bottles with their little heart crystal charms on them anymore, and I've actually saved the charm from my original bottle that was given to me back on Christmas 2005. you gotta get on my level. 13yo me knew 31yo me needed this win 19 years in the future

[shikai-the-storyteller]

Every frickin day of my life I mourn the fact that Luzu wasn't able to consistently log onto the QSMP. I mourn the friendships he could've built with people from Day 1, the changes to the story that would've come from it, and I mourn the fact that most fans don't know how insanely good Luzu is at roleplaying, and creating fascinating yet tragic stories.

[lunaetis]

LISTEN HERE YOU LIL SHIT

▸▸ [ @dnangelic ]

[starsweepers]

maddie at sonic: son

maddie at tails: baby boy

maddie about shadow: he's just a little guy

maddie at knuckles:

[linkueikunoichi]

hello mk tumblr

this is supposed to be an intro post and to find more ppl to follow but honestly i'm reeeeeealllly bad at these

this is a good tl;dr:

i'm just here to indulge in big titty ninja men with varying degrees of daddy issues

please be my friend

[starswallowingsea]

reddit says to watch the enstars anime then play the game should I do that?

so the anime adapts some of the main story from ! era so it would be a good background for it. i havent seen it yet though so its not like. required by any means. but if you play the game i do recommend reading the main story there first (it doesnt really get good until like chapter 5 which is. how many episodes in? so many but once you get there its so worth it). but being familiar with the story beats of the first era is not a bad idea so definitely go for it if you want to watch the anime first

[queer-reader-07]

not my dad telling me i probably have some deep seated psychological issue because of how aggressively i clench my jaw