#i prefer the shows changes SO MUCH
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If the theme for AvA Season 3 is really "Your actions have consequences"...
I am genuinely curious to see what the consequences for Victim's actions will be.
Both Alan and Chosen are reaping the consequences of their actions. How is Victim going to reap his own?
How is all of this going to backfire on him?
And at what point will he realize he's gone too far, that he's made a mistake? That he's become someone he never wanted to become?
#*Pointing at 'The King'* I WANT THAT YOUR HONOR BUT CRANKED UP TO A HUNDRED#*sssniperthief voice* Oh well if it isn't the consequences of my own actions!#Jokes aside: I have a huge feeling that things WILL go sour for Victim in ways he can't control or didn't expect#Where he will be forced to confront his own terrible actions just as much as TCO and Alan will be forced to face theirs#And I believe that Victim will feel regret when he realizes he was wrong because AvA11 showed us he wasn't really a terrible person#I believe that Victim is still redeemable and I won't give up hope on that#Also a reminder that AvA Season 3 is supposed to go to Episode 15 so we have FOUR MORE EPISODES FOR SHIT TO HIT THE FAN#Also still holding out hope that Alan saves Victim in some way#Preferably in a way that is detrimental/harmful to Alan himself#Because that would be an amazing way to show - CLEARLY - just how much Alan has changed#and how much he's come to care for his stick figures - ALL of them. Victim included.#Just the idea of the Cursor vehemently protecting Victim; aflame with rage and viscous in its movement is such a delicious image in my brai#ava#animator vs animation#alan becker#Illmoraine Theorizes#ava victim
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Have you all imagined the days where Kaeya would scream in frustration when he tries to create a Khaenri'ahn dish, but the dish just doesn't taste quite right?
How about the helpless feeling he gets when he barely remembers what ingredients go in his homeland's dishes?
And what about the cravings that have never been satisfied since he was a child because his father didn't teach him how to make them?
For an adventurous food lover... perhaps forever losing your nation's food might just be the most painful thing.
#kaeya#kaeya alberich#gi kaeya#hi i wanted to hurt yall today coz this is how i show how much i missed you guys#tw: food#i come back only to bring kaeyangst...#so...have you guys ever noticed how much he LOVES good food?#he is not exactly a picky eater BUT he does know the specifics of what he wants#surprisingly has a ton of information on him regarding food too#oddly specific steak preferences#asking diloo to add food to the menu#glaringly obvious sweet tooth#BUT... he can't talk about Khaenri'ah...#him cutting four-pointed stars on his mushrooms when he makes his skewers...#anyway did yall miss me?#think again. ive only got angst in my notes#edit: changed phrasing into something I'm more happy with
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Did I hear right? They animated my favorite manga panel?! ( ・`ω・´)✨
This is great! This is amazing! I'm so happy right now!
#I've been looking at it for very long#I've noticed all the details#1) They cleaned up Shirakumo's awkward smile (╥﹏╥) It's too pretty#2) They added more length to the back of Hizashi's hair (maybe trying to make it more of a mullet??)#3) Hizashi's eyes in the anime are a little scary - I think he was passionate in the manga but in the anime they look bulging (・ัω・ั)#4) They shortened Shirakumo?? He's a tall guy! Standing at 6ft he's the same height as present day Hizashi and Aizawa#(and they had an extra 15 years to grow while Shirakumo was just... like that in highschool)#5) They entirely changed the statue in the background lol#6) Shirakumo and Hizashi are now looking at each other (I liked the manga where they were looking off because it showed just 2 boys talking)#7) Hizashi's bag is much more lumpy (what does he have in there?)#8) Added a little bend to Shota's straw ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ#9) Shota's face looks longer... I think I preferred it small#10) Everything's so much sharper - Their faces / clothing / the background#I find this fun it's like where's waldo to me#I've loved this panel for so long#I'm overjoyed °*.\(*´∀`*)/.*#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#bnha#mha#rooftop trio#bakasan#oboro shirakumo#shirakumo oboro#shouta aizawa#aizawa shota#hizashi yamada#yamada hizashi#🍥#📌
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@gleesource 500 followers celebration day 4: tina cohen chang + her pop rock playlist
(in/sp)
#glee#tina cohen chang#gleeedit#gleesource#gs500fc#mine#i have lots of commentary on this one#first. this is the extremely self serving gifset#i wasn't sure what to caption it bc obvs theres a focus on classic 2000s emo/pop punk bc i adore it#but not every song there is that#the songs all come from a playlist emily and i made so ofc shoutout to emmy my dear#the headphone thing is also inspired by a meme she sent me months ago#i drew them myself and i find drawing in photoshop hard and annoying so if they look bad DON'T say anything#my ass is photoshop certified but all you learn in that is the editing. i much prefer dedicated drawing programs (csp beloved)#i think that's all i want to make clear#also yes im just showing up for tina day. what of it
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✨Him✨
What is he thinking about? You tell me
#tolkien#silmarillion#jrr tolkien#melkor#morgoth#silm art#tolkien art#digital art#my art#i bet he got a bit to interested in mairons look instead of mairons war plans#pushing my melkor lost his ability to create color since he had to be pretty as that was how the humans described him#and he had to have been hit with a drastic change in his form(s) for the theft of the silmarils#and i hc him as original blue eyes#i also hc ainur cant change their eye color like they can change how much sclera iris and pupil show but thats it#so being used to see him as blue eyed suddenly meeting a cloud of black smoke with red eyes you gotta assume the worst#so yes i still think he can change his form although it gets harder the more he pures himself into arda and the more insane he gets#and he has his preferable he feels best in#and of course it will be a form without pigmentation#mairon cant decide if he wanna sleep with him or study him under a microscope
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Erica Schultz' Elektra run so far has been intensely frustrating to me, because on one hand, she clearly has more love and knowledge about Elektra as a character than Zdarsky ever did. Little details, like Elektra's burner phone from when she was an assassin, or just giving her a character outside of Matt – these things are pretty good, and I like them. She clearly understands the feel of the character, and she's certainly done more for Elektra than Zdarsky ever did.
But I feel like every Elektra story of hers so far has fallen short in the same way. And I think it's because she's depicting Elektra a little more like herself, but seems ignorant to how unhealthy, uncomfortable, out of character, demeaning and unnecessary Daredevil!Elektra actually is. And she keeps squandering opportunities to shed the mask.
Maybe it's that her hands are tied. Or maybe it's that she genuinely likes writing Elektra in this way.
But there's something endlessly frustrating about the marketing for Unleash Hell using "Murder is an Art!" as a tagline, but then doubling down on the fact she doesn't kill now.
They're giving Elektra her font back. They're giving her a red band comic. But they refuse to let her reclaim her own name, or to have a life outside sharing Matt's identity just to please him. It's so exhausting.
#elektra natchios#I just. FUCK man.#I keep reading and feeling hopeful#but it's just so damn degrading to continually strip elektra of her agency and independence#and then you see people on reddit who've clearly never read elektra comics who say that they prefer this over how she was#but their examples of how she was are all just... the netflix show or miller dd#it's actually so sad that she's existed as a character outside of matt for most of her comic publication#but chip fucking zdarsky my sworn enemy decided to get his greasy little mitts on her#and now people who don't like or respect elektra as a character say they like this change to her status quo and hope it sticks#fuck you fuck you fuck you#also to be clear I don't hate you if you're an elektra fan and you like her current state. I'm happy for you#but it fills me with rage and sorrow every time I think about it too much
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Writing Qimir starter pack:
Head tilts
Asking questions instead of answering
The occasional smirk and/or inappropriately timed smile
#being about 8k into writing qimir's pov i prefer writing osha but dont tell him that lol#he's... a very interesting character to write because looking at the show#we get more personality traits from him than actual “info”#whereas with osha you can pretty much just look at the situation and that informs her character#perks of being the protagonist i suppose#but yeah#probably why she's easier to write too#for qimir's backstory i pulled inspo from vernestra's books and [redacted] to create context#but it's still all very new#which is crazyyyy this fic has more plot than ive ever written in my life#like it's going to be long enough to be a novel#i think it's partially because this is the first fic that's complex enough to be this long that ive committed to#and also i read so much last year#and im so convinced that changed how i write#ive learned so much about plotting a longer story though and it's awesome#flythepost
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Thinking too hard about Aviae and Zevrans friendship and it's making me Ill
#dragon age#oc: aviae surana#crow rambles#you look into the assassins eyes and you see a twisted mirror of yourself. of the internal struggle between the want of survival and the#want of it all to end. you hold your hand out to him. this will change both of your lives forever#and when the archdemon is dead and your lover has left you and the pieces you had been frantically trying to hold together fall apart and#shatter. he holds out his hand to you.#THEY MAKE ME SICK. SICK. IM NAUSEOUS OUGGHHHHH#both of them are living for the first time. both of them grew up trapped in a gilded cage. they recognize it in each other#theres a certain instant understanding between them. maybe neither of them notice it but they both warm up to each other very fast#aviae has reason to be wary of everyone in the party: alistair was almost a templar. morrigan is. well morrigan. wynne is too pro circle for#aviae to truly let down her guard around. leliana is too attached to the maker for her. ironically the assassin is the one she bares her#throat to willingly. she sees the reflected desire and WANT of survival in him. the longing for freedom. it just. oughhhh#ive said it before but if zevran had showed up sooner he would have been her canon love intrest#however i MUCH prefer their friendship it does something to my brain chemistry#she can just be so??? bare and honest with him?? when she tells him about the circle and its horrors#about waking up to friends missing. about templars eyes lingering where they were unwanted. about the constant surveillance she went through#he GETS it. i get why people are so ill avout zevsurana bc their friendship alone has me about to sob#it is 2:38 am and i cannot fall asleep bc i am thinking about them. insane
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I just managed to get off mha hyperfixation
And now it's happening again... Oh no
Helps with upcoming MHUI LoV event tho, it was a long time since last one happened I wonder what would happen in a new filler story part
Basically this and couple of pages of mid-final arc chapters + recent episode and next one being The Dabi episode was just too much not to get excited again
But! Important thing - I need to reread the last arc before I make anything new, if possible without finishing it to the 419 chapter and everything after, it took 2 months to really recover from the damage that chapter did
Anyway am I ready for the new event? Kinda! Do I have enough gems to get new Tomura? No! I'm not sure he'll even show up this time, because other ones were and still are really stubborn
Also Steampunk recruit took like 120 pulls in a step-up recruit and in the usual one combined
Not the best time to get LoV involved, it's cruel even
Also that one part of the page I added at the beginning was so interesting to look at and them I joked about 236 being similar. The only good thing with final arc being over is that I can say that Izuku didn't draw the parallel of seeing everyone hurt and seeing Tenko react on Mon's death
Understandable why, but it's funny to just look at them and be like, "wow Horikoshi traumatized them both"
#bnha#mhui#morning thoughts#not art#tenko shimura#shigaraki tomura#izuku midoriya#midoriya izuku#Still trying to assure myself that it's okay to tag whatever with whatever#If I get into drawing Izuku and Tenko interacting again this post is why#I don't prefer shipping stuff aside from here and there but some of the relationships are so interesting to look at#Izuku and Tenko one is one of my favorites and when PLF arc ended with Izuku looking behind who Tomura was on the outside was...#I can't describe it because I was SURE it was never happening and then it did and almost 3 years after that we get the actual thing#And then boom it's over#I thing knowing that AFO shows up in the 418 ruined it for me I saw people trying to predict it and stuff#But I hoped it wasn't gonna happen but I didn't know what would the other option be#So I was in 'we'll see' mindset for months and I'm okay with the end result... Kinda#It hurts really badly if I turn to my actual emotions#I was just thinking one day and while reading stuff decided to punch a pillow and suddenly it's like some wall broke and it hurt#It hurts now too actually just writing this#I thought because I wasn't processing this the way most people I saw in the fandom did with all of the hating on Horikoshi and stuff#AND hating on Izuku too!#I was either broken or a strange one even to the part of the fandom I tried to join for the first time in ages#While people were clinging to anything to keep deluding themselves that Tomura is alive#Or being openly angry on Twitter#It all was on Twitter actually because I have no power to really change what it shows if I don't just “ignore” every single person there#I tried drawing through it but I slowly hit burnout with drawing absolutely nothing#I'm a bit better now and I tried different things instead so it's alright still a bit... Too much all at once since I had irl stuff too#I'm glad that I'm not known enough to be pressured about anything since I pressure myself enough already
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some thoughts on that first episode bc i might as well
- that first scene in the north did not make me very happy… maybe it’s just me who likes negotiations but i was looking forward to Jace’s World Tour of North/Eastern Westeros and his talks and bargains with the different houses (especially lady jeyne! i guess i can understand why they cut it out but i think when it comes to her there’s material to build an interesting character from, but whatever. another arryn L i guess :(), but what did we get but one (1) scene at the wall for some reason. i mean i like the night’s watch as much as the next person but this just felt like straight up GoT fanservice… like what does the threat beyond the wall have to do with this conflict? they could at least have given us some parley but there was barely anything of that either. cregan stark’s going to be important later so i thought they’d do more to establish him as a character now. but literally the next scene we see jace in he’s back at dragonstone….. ok (tho i guess they could return to the north later? idk we’ll see) (also, i care less for the sara snow subplot but i was sure they would do something with it since they love to go with the juicy stuff like forbidden love and whatnot)
- on that note i expect they’re going the singers’ route with erryk and arryk which i don’t really care for (they need to make me care more for those characters first) but it makes sense
- i’m ashamed of the fact that the alyn reveal made me go “ahh” aloud and my mum (who hasn’t read f&b) went “what???” and i just vaguely waved it off because it’s so annoying when people do that and i try not to but… i was surprised they introduced him so early
- aegon ii keeps being the most entertaining character on the show and he was the highlight to me. thank you for bringing a tinge of comedy. i’d say keep it up, but… well
- this is old discourse but i don’t have much of a problem with them showing alicent being groomed and manipulated in the show which probably makes her seem more sympathetic to viewers (and i can’t help but fall for every instance the lingering and complex feelings between her and rhaenyra that still clearly affect her come up) but now i’d like to see her being more active. i liked her confronting otto but (so far) for the most part she seemed a bit uninvolved and inactive (except for the sex scenes with criston… -_- which i guess are intended to bite them in the ass later which is why it’s continuously brought up, but so far i do not care for it). i just want to see her contributing more of her own i guess. but there’s plenty of time for that in the upcoming episodes, especially now after the death of another child 😔
- i sure hope we get to see more of baela and rhaena. this was only the first episode, i will have hope in my heart
- helaena’s line about being scared of the rats felt like clever foreshadowing when i heard it, except that the blood & cheese thing happened just a few scenes later……. suddenly it didn’t feel so clever anymore, nobody will have forgotten it at that point (the best foreshadowing imo is stuff that you maybe don’t notice at first and only catch on your rewatch)
- and about that, as relieved as i am about the violence being toned down, reading the book the whole “damning one child to die but the other one is slain, so now you and your child have to live with the fact that you named him to be killed” business was very impactful so i’m a bit disappointed nonetheless. for a show that so clearly opts for emotional impact, i mean… though i suppose cutting a kid or two out is understandable. but the way they made a whole deal about not knowing the sex of the twins (and the assassins being surprisingly gentlemanly about it lol) made me wonder if they mean to do a big plot twist where helaena was lying about it and actually rescued jaehaerys, but also that (unnecessarily) changes some things and what would be the point of that. 🤔 i did really like helaena’s acting during the scene though, opting for pure shock and dissociation rather than making it a dramatic tearfest. i like helaena as a character too, from what little we have seen of her anyway, and i wish she’d had more moments previously in the show so that we as viewers would be even more emotionally connected to her, but she gets pretty sidelined in comparison to her brothers. we don’t get to know much about her in the book so i feel like that’s what the show is for! expanding upon the book!
#typed this out after watching the episode then forgot about it 💀 whatever#for the record i don’t feel super strongly about the show so i don’t really care that much about them making Creative Decisions and whatnot#actually i think it’s good if it’s changes that add stuff to the story or delves deeper into the characters#but what i’m saying is that i don’t care that much for accuracy i see it as its own thing and i have some distance to it#on the flipside that also makes me less enthusiatic about it as well… so i never have as much fun as i could be having with it i guess#overall it’s pretty well made tho. i prefer it over got
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jneed to stop idolizing people and become a hermit or a urchin so i stop producing concious thought that turns me into a shy person so I can draw harumachi until i go into a catatonic state
#txt#i get in my head a lot im always scared so this is whyi prefer smaller acocutns like this becuz I don’t psych myself out too much#hetal.ia havingn such a small fandom is really the most dififuclt especially since I spent so much time lurking xd i recognzie too many#people and think everyone is better than me to the point that were totally different species. SO THIS LFIE BECOMES A LITTLE DIDIFUCLT#CONSIDERING THIS#ok what ever#a guy gets subtweeted once by the creator of his fvaotire show for not being profound enough5 years ago and it changes his brain chemistry🤦
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So I've only played Baxter's step 4 (and 3) once so far so maybe I missed the options to lead me down the path I wanted, but for the first time in this game I felt pretty railroaded.
So for context, I did get romantically involved with him in step 3. Was okay breaking things off when he left because I understood a long-distance relationship wasn't feasible but I had hoped to stay in contact as friends and didn't appreciate him shutting that down. But I did respect his wishes and not even bother reaching out to him when it was clear he wanted to cut ties entirely. I chose the "for better or worse you don't really care anymore" option about how I felt when step 4 kicked in, because I'd like to believe I would be over any pain/anger from a brief fling from five years ago.
Of course, then you unexpectedly reunite and he proceeds to continue trying to freeze you out WHILE highkey reminiscing and wanting to relive all the good moments you shared, which is confusing and frustrating.
I was wanting to play things in a sort of "once bitten, twice shy" way. I was open to giving him another chance and wanted him in "my" life again, but only if HE was also willing to put in the effort. Beyond getting answers for his behavior and why things are the way they are, I actually DIDN'T want to be pushing to be part of his life. Not while he was still pushing me away. Why should I be making an effort and getting hurt repeatedly when ANY kind of relationship (not just a romantic one) takes work and dedication from BOTH sides?
But this is where the game absolutely failed to provide me the stance I wanted, which in turn make the entire resolution to the conflict not sit well with me. Once Baxter started opening up about WHY he cut ties and was continuing to be avoidant, I felt very "but thou must" about the choices. Again and again, 4-6 choices with slightly different tones/connotations that ultimately serve to reinforce how we want to help and be close to Baxter as opposed to any other more complicated or negative feelings towards him.
I understand that we're meant to like Baxter and I'm definitely not UNsympathetic to his severe self-worth issues and how that affected how he sees all relationships, but for the first time I feel like the story prioritized painting HIM in such a good light that it forgot to account for a protagonist that was anything other than 100% willing to continue loving and throwing themselves at someone that had ALREADY pushed them away and hurt them before and was CONTINUING to do so.
Why should "I" have to keep chasing relentlessly after someone who repeatedly rejects me? Why do I essentially have to keep bashing my head against this brick wall even when it's obviously bad for me?
What I desperately wanted but felt denied by was a confrontation that led to compromise. I wanted to be able to clearly express "my" hurt/anger and make it clear that while I cared about him, I WOULD NOT keep endlessly trying if he wasn't going to meet me halfway. I cannot single-handedly save the bridge that he is burning, he actually has to STOP burning it for us to get anywhere.
But no, it is only after you prove that you WILL keep trying and caring about him NO MATTER WHAT, no matter how much he continues to hurt and reject you, that he is able to overcome his issues and reciprocate. And really, what's doubly unsatisfying is... aren't we just validating his insecurities this way? It's literally by proving ourselves so stubborn and kind (to our own detriment) that he truly believes we'd never give up on him that he can trust and reach out in turn. Whereas if I had the option to make it clear HE has to work for this if he wants it, then he genuinely needs to face his problems and decides he cares about us more, that we are WORTH the risk.
A relationship takes two... but in this case I felt FORCED to do about 95% of the work in pursuing him AND playing therapist for him. It would have been much more satisfying if, after he rejects you one too many times, you CAN say "screw it" and give up on it just for him to finally turn around and be the one trying to chase YOU instead. I was frankly already pretty fed up with things, but by the ending when he avoided us AGAIN at the wedding (AFTER he'd opened up, more than once, and just generally made it clear that he DID care about you; truly this man is a master of the mixed message) I wanted DESPERATELY to just be able to say "fine, if you won't make an effort then I won't either" and leave it at that. If I was just allowed to express that dissatisfaction and hurt, then him coming around and trying to forge a true, long-lasting connection with us despite his uncertainty would have been so much better.
#our life beginnings & always#olba#conceptually i really like baxter as a character. and the framing of his step 4 was pretty neat#i did enjoy the way it continually referenced significant moments from step 3 to show how he genuinely cared about that summer (and us)#but i was frustrated that we basically had to give him endless and unconditional love before he decided we were worth trying to keep#because frankly i'm somewhere between a pessimist and realist. and my love IS conditional#i might not immediately and coldly cut ties like he could. but if you push me away and hurt me enough i WILL give up eventually#i'm not going to keep pouring my love into an endless abyss that gives nothing back. so i hate that the story basically MADE ME#honestly what baxter needs more than anything is a goddamn therapist. his issues hurt everyone around who wants to care about him#so if he truly wants to change then he needs professional help instead of leaving that kind of emotional labor to innocent bystanders#again i want to reiterate. i like him conceptually and as a character. and i kind of love how starkly he contrasts cove#since cove is very open about his (many but typically smaller) issues and is easy to comfort#whereas baxter is. well. a brick wall. he has one core problem that he is INCREDIBLY guarded about#and that problem unfortunately means he's damn near impossible to just communicate with and get through to#anyway as much as i do like baxter if this truly is as railroaded as it felt i probably won't play his step 4 again#i'm hoping if i go in more obviously hurt/upset from the start (i tried playing more neutral initially) that will get me somewhere#i definitely don't want to do anything to hurt the wedding planning. but i want him to meet me halfway#and if he CAN'T i'd genuinely prefer going our separate ways and letting that bridge stay burned than what i got my first run
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rereading IDW sonic is giving me a better picture of just how skewed tangle’s recent characterization is :(
i know continuity marches on and all but man. tangle is the only one getting THIS bent out of shape all the time and it sucks. she’s the everyman (she really shouldn’t be) and keeps getting mistaken for a different character trope by each new arc’s writers
#like. it’s complicated because unlike other comics i read (mostly webcomics - like gunnerkrigg and pnat)#idw is written a handful at a time and has no singular overarching plot or drive. they HAVE to be a little more episodic#plus they broke into new territory starting out so early installment weirdness and all applies#but they DID hit a good groove with tangle and then they walked it back!!! why??#mostly i want to point out that tangle’s characterization HAS objectively changed whether you like one or the other more#i think it goes along with tangle being portrayed with the most variation between different art styles in IDW next to maybe rough the skunk#like whisper gets to be pretty close to her design whoever’s drawing her but tangle is just all over the place and#it’s at the same time very fun and interesting and i don’t mind it but also#very much works with how tangle’s being written at the time which varies almost just as much#if you say you’re a tangle fan unfortunately you will not be a fan of the same tangle as every tangle fan#this happens with sonic and tails and mainline characters because they have YEARS of whole media + games#done across decades and different writers so it makes sense they’ve got lots of subtle permutations#tangle has been around 6 years now and is already catching up on that across all 6 of those years#we hardly knew her :’c#intentionally not tagging a whole phrase but if this shows up in search anyways due to tumblr-#-please me respectful + i dont mind hearing your opinions or contradictions + i may not change my mind even if u have a good point cause-#-personal preference. ya. if i just like tangle better a certain way thats how i like to see and write her. <3
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love how ludger rejecting divinity means so fuckin little because even if he is not a "proper" god hes still the most op and successful character in the entire multiverse
#your statement means nothing to me; i have seen what power you already had#even his suffering is so meh once we know what happened to his siblings#hell. even flora arguably has had much worse than ludger lmfao#he has the power to change his own fate. she didnt even allow to have that.#and got stuck in her abusive family for 18+ damn years#until she got rescued by a mary sue who then lectured her about rebelling & fighting back against ur oppressors w ur own power#shes not you my dude. only one person in this multiverse is the gods' favorite princess and its certainly not her.#if not for the divinity you would have died in the damn imaginary space. you would have died by the time you reached *one month old*#u cant just use the power of gods left and right to achieve ur goals then say “acktually id prefer to be human” after you got what u want#u cant eat the cake and have it too. fuck offffff#where are the damn consequences for those divine interventions? for his “”self admitted crimes“”?#3 years in jail? solitary confinement? please. people w minor burglary crimes have had it worse in america.#EVEN THEN WHERE ARE THE CONSEQUENCES OF THREE YEARS IN SOLITARY#WHAT IS SO HUMAN ABOUT COMING OUT OF IT UNSCATHED#gdi im so pissed @ sayrens writing decisions in aup#every sidestories chapter brings me closer to dethrone casey & become ludger cherishs no. 1 archnemesis#also ludger is lowkey a con mathematician bc real mathematicians would *show* their works#what even is the point of developing a work but hiding all the progress behind the scenes#what is the point of developing a character but always jumpskipping to the results#literally the explanation for every OP bs he pulled in aup is “ofco he can do that hes the goddamn ludger fucking cherish™️”#either show your proofs or take that thesis conclusion of yours and go home
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fuck i got drained...
#i will delete this later bc i dont like showing half looking sketches buak#but aaaaa i was making the little swap au and well my brain stopped and i get to stare at the screen for like 2 minutes#and my brain restarted... i can draw no more i think i overused myself with drawing too much things all at the same time buak...#but heres some sneaky sketch of swap helen in miss p position and i was gonna miss p but eh... i think i got burn out like a machine eek#too many ideas and cant do all!!#but yeah talking about the au shes still evil but still does care for her boss (even though shes very meany to her like always)#and miss p well in my head shes just a dead inside old lady that even if shes in control shes like less evil than admin. mostly she gets#control by helen for whats right and whats wrong... AND I DONT HAVE MORE IDEAS IN DEEP AHAHA oooh boy#can someone gave me better ideas becuase i want to explain it so badly but augh cant get it to write it down too much in my head augh#also considering the swap between bidwell and saxton and nothing changes in personality just saxton literally being bidwell bigass guardog#aaaa preferably dont rb bc this is unfinished and looks like trash but just gonna share this quickly yeah
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i still am baffled that my sibling pretends to like me like im pretty sure its bc im just another person they can get secondary validation and entertainment from but sometimes they say things that reveal just how much they dont view me as a person and im like why do ? you even bother playing the friend
#im sorta stuck with it bc theyre the only person i can talk to rn#but we only function in the capacity that they can rant at me about their problems and then we have a tenuous routine of watching-#- each others preferred shows so they dont just bombard me with things and they bregrudgingly enjoy my shows#before we got stricter about it theyd constantly lie and skip around or demand i watch more because of slights#and then insist the only reason i may not enjoy things is bc im in a bad mood (bc ive been lied to and talked over)#they once berated me for ten minutes before dragging me out of a chair to the other room to watch some music video i didnt understand#timposting again#W ; Vent Post#and the funny part is! theyve been in therapy for years now!!!#and the only thing thats changed? they started saying sorry now and yhen about different things and dont smack me as much
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