#i ought to write a real story for this character but oh well

[see-arcane]

Well. I just read the Robert Eggers Nosferatu (2024) script in its nascent 2016 form. Quick and haunted thanks to @nosferattusx2 for making me aware of its existence. It’s here on the Internet Archive if you want to give it a look yourselves.

I don’t know if it’s legit, but it seems precariously close to the trailers. Even if it is the real thing, it’s also an eight-year-old rendition of the script, so there’s no guarantee of it being an exact mirror of what will hit theaters. That being said?

It’s. A lot.

SPOILERS BELOW

I won’t regurgitate the whole thing here, just the main bits that stood out to me for better or worse:

For a guy who says he's very against the sexy romantic vampire trope, Eggers makes sure to have everyone getting scared and horny over Orlok at every opportunity. I will give him grudging kudos for not confining this strictly to Ellen or otherwise Just the Ladies~. The thing opens on Knock stroking himself to the concept of the guy and Thomas gets his own erotic/assault-flavored attack from Orlok at the castle with future allusions framing it in a distinctly sexual framework. Ellen is set up as the ~darkly tempted Eve to Orlok’s Adam~ but it’s not aggressively mega-hetero about it. Progress?

Thomas arrives in Orlok territory and immediately gets swarmed and pickpocketed by smelly-masculine Romani people (referred to strictly by the g word through the script) bar the one pretty young teenage girl one who we later get to see riding naked on a horse because only naked virgin girls can lead the group to hidden vampires for their destruction. Yeah.

…

Bobby Egg, I can get behind the VVitch using seductive evil weirdness and I see why mermaids would swim around topless, but. What the fuck? And also follow-up what the fuckery to the whole portrayal of these guys, period? On that note.

Here we see the first example of Thomas being Assigned Twink at Comparison to All the Other Men. Eggers frames him as insecure beside the masculine Romani and has a future character refer to him as a ‘dandy’ (despite that being a term reserved for men who were well-off, not just effeminate/less than manfully manful). To Bobby Egg’s slight credit, Thomas is not portrayed negatively or milksop-shaped because of this; it’s just. Kind of there. All the time.

Count Orlok’s description isn’t bad. Very ominous, very classic gothic-supernatural. I do appreciate that he’s explicitly given more corpse-like attributes, making him seem like a mobile cadaver more than anything else. And Eggers does keep him creepy—no stealthy Count Fuckula spit-shining on him.

Shovel scene sort of happens as an original Dracula nod, but with no payoff. An attempt was made and thrown away.

Ellen. Oh, Ellen. Such a double-edged piece of work here. On the one hand, this version of the script implies that she isn’t doing the classic bastardized Mina thing of deciding her lame lameo human husband isn’t good enough for her and she needs herself a REAL MAN. There’s a lot of the original Thomas and Ellen’s genuine love and regard shown in the couple…

…up to a point. Eggers writes them a very very ugly and basically wholly OOC argument to do with Thomas claiming he wed her out of pity and saying she ought to have been sent to a madhouse when she was young, which itself was a follow-up to Ellen yelling that Orlok’s work is all his fault in a weirdly victim-blamey way and a scene that felt less like a badly done seduction and more like she was trying to actually assault him. They seemingly both reconcile after this, but like…what the entire hell?

Okay, to get this out of the way—I think Eggers is trying to lean hard into the ‘well in the actual time and place of the story things would be so grimdark and depressing, so it has to be nasty even between the loving main couple, and it adds to the horror-misery of it all, and it makes Ellen’s dark temptation~ more reasonable!’ thing. We can see a lot of that in how he sets Ellen up to have a history of dark thoughts, a lot of stigma surrounding her sanity/insanity, and there’s some very cruel medical ‘treatment’ she gets subjected to during her fits while waiting for Thomas and/or Orlok to arrive. Naturally those fits are all sexual/orgasmically twitchy because of course. Eggers is very much trying to set Ellen up as sympathetic in her situation and as a kind of next evolution to the Francisified Mina character who wants to fuck Dracula/Orlok/Death so so bad~

And then we get to the Van Helsing stand-in, Von Franz, and he is…oh man. 90% of his bits are fun. Interesting. The last 10% would make Abraham van Helsing in every iteration punch through the fourth wall and beat him to death with their library books. Surprise, Von Franz and Ellen both secretly colluded to set up the sunrise trap that will inevitably kill Ellen via Orlok feeding on her into the dawn. Von Franz purposefully leads the vampire hunter crew astray, including Thomas. When Thomas discovers this—from Knock who he mistakenly staked in Orlok’s place due to a mix-up with the coffin—Von Franz laughs as Thomas and Dr. Sievers the pseudo-Jack Seward make a run back to the house to try and save her.

The climax comes with Ellen and Orlok playing out the original Nosferatu ending. She dies happily cradling Orlok’s carcass. Thomas reaches her bedside and collapses in despair. The script closes on Von Franz showing up with a lilac bouquet and putting his hand on Thomas’ shoulder as he grieves, still unmoved from the bedside. Close on Ellen’s dead face ‘at peace.’

Somehow the scene doesn’t end with Thomas wringing Von Franz’ neck.   

There’s a lot more to read in there, obviously, but those were just all the big lumps sticking out of it to me.

I will grudgingly say it is not the absolute worst-case scenario I was afraid of. It’s not what I was hoping for—but that is keeping in line with Dracula and Nosferatu-adjacent media, per tradition. I do still want to see the film, I do want to like the finished product, even with the worrisome second trailer and sundry interviews throwing up red flags. Like The Last Voyage of the Demeter, it is at least an earnest attempt at taking this vein of classic gothic vampire horror seriously as a horror story.

But also.

I would really like directors to stop turning the Mina-Ellen figure into the vampire-pining gothic blowup doll for the latest ‘Bold and Subversive’ take #1654237 of GIRL AND THE DRACULA DO KISSY SEXY ROMANCE TIMES. An impossible dream, I guess.   

[avantegarda]

Razzle Dazzle

So it's been like 2 years since I wrote any Silmarillion stories, and like 4 since I wrote anything in my Victorian AU. But for @luthiendear's Luthien Week, I finally am returning to my roots and writing a short that I've been mulling over for quite some time.

Summary: Luthien duBois, Louisiana heiress and hopeless romantic, kickstarts the greatest jewel heist in American history.

---

San Francisco, 1899

The Angband Club

Luthien duBois was a great believer in positive thinking. It had helped her sail through plenty of trouble already, and no matter how terrifying the man in front of her was, she decided to believe her plan would work. It had gotten off to a decent start, anyway; Beren had gone in the day before and got himself hired as a barman, and the rest was in Lulu's hands.

Mr. Morgoth, frequently described as the most evil gangster in America, looked her up and down suggestively and stroked his luxuriant dark mustache. "You're a pretty thing," he drawled. "Only reason I let you in here, really. Tell me, young lady, what can I do for you?"

"I've come looking for work," she replied with a coquettish smile. "Word around town is, you run the finest saloon in this city, with top-notch talent. And I'm an excellent dancer."

"Oh, I can well believe that. But you must understand, miss..."

Lulu dropped into a curtsy. "Call me Nightingale."

"How sweet. You must understand, Miss Nightingale, I have very lofty standards for my employees. Simple talent isn't enough, nor are big eyes and pretty ankles." He set his drink down with a clatter. "Loyalty, miss, and discretion. The same a general might demand of his troops. Behind these doors, there is no law but mine. Have you the strength of character to promise this?"

I have enough strength of character to rob you blind, you old roué, thought Lulu fiercely. But she managed an innocent giggle. "Why, of course, Mr. M! It would be my absolute honor. For you, I'm as well-behaved as a schoolgirl."

"Oh, but I do hope you won't be too well-behaved. I like my girls with a bit of...spice."

Revolting man! "Why don't you let me audition," she purred, "and you'll see just how spicy I can be."

He gestured to the small stage across the room. "Do, please. I cannot wait."

She took a deep breath and pulled the pins from her hair, letting it fall around her like a cloak. "Play something lively," she ordered the man at the piano, and hopped up onto the stage. As the pianist struck up a jolly ragtime tune, she shut out her surroundings and danced.

She'd been trained in ballet, but this wasn't really ballet, not entirely. There were bits of flamenco, some calypso she'd seen on the streets of New Orleans, a hint of Irish jig, and plenty of whatever simply occurred to her in the moment. There was no point in being shy; she did have talent, and it didn't feel like a sin to show it off. Even in this situation.

The song ended at last, and it took a moment to remember she was in a dank gentlemen's club being leered at by a slimy old criminal. She bowed gracefully, trying her best not to shudder in disgust.

"You weren't lying, my dear," Morgoth breathed. "Consider yourself hired. And perhaps I can tempt you to give me a private performance from time to time.

"It would be my pleasure," Luthien lied. "But golly, this is such an honor! We ought to celebrate, don't you think?"

"We certainly should." Morgoth snapped his fingers at the pianist. "Boy! Two brandies, double-quick!"

The pianist- a young fellow with curly dark hair and olive skin-nodded obediently and scurried to the bar, returning with two glasses. Morgoth raised his to Luthien.

"To you, my pretty Nightingale," he said, and drank.

Three...

Two...

One.

Morgoth's dark eyes grew wide and confused, and he let out an undignified burp before slumping to the floor. Luthien sighed with relief as the pianist hurried to her side.

"Nice work," she said. "Where's the real pianist?"

"Out cold behind the dustbins. He'll be fine." Beren glanced down at the unconscious gangster. "What an old pervert," he muttered, shaking his head. "Sorry you had to do that, Lulu."

Luthien, who had been rummaging around in Morgoth's pockets, withdrew her hand with a grin. In it was a tiny silver key. "Don't be too sorry, darlin'. We're halfway there."

[strxnged]

MONDSTADT: # when you tell them you see them as a "main character." (1/4)

content: voiceline style responses. mentions of alcohol, ignorance of mika's release. 500w

__ albedo ㅤ“i don’t like to think about myself in that way. i'm only interested in discovering the many hidden stories of this world, similarly to you. well, if you think that makes me a main character… i won’t argue with you.”

__amber ㅤ“hehe, you think so? maybe you’re right! i’ve always wanted a book to be written about outrider amber of the knights of favonius! but don’t you think you play a pretty big part in this story, too?”

__barbara ㅤ“oh, my! you must be mistaken—did you take me for jean? it’s me, barbara, and i’m certainly not main character material—not yet! although… if you were trying to compliment me, that was very kind of you. i’ll try not to let it go to my head, don’t worry!”

__bennett ㅤ“yeah! that’s why i got an adventurer’s team named after me! um… but since i’m the only member right now… i guess that makes me the only character, huh? … yeah, main character by default is still a main character. i’ll take it!”

__diluc ㅤ“uh… i’m not sure why you’re saying that. word of advice, i think you ought to keep your darkknight fantasies to yourself.”

__diona ㅤ“did i finally make a bad drink? something’s off in your head, alright. what is that even supposed to mean… ‘main character’?”

__eula ㅤ“oh? indeed, if i were in a story, my importance would be key. my keen sense of justice and deserved glory. it would be a story about revenge, etiquette, and honour. perhaps someone should write such a book and sell it to the children of mondstadt.”

__fischl ㅤ“such diction is foolish in my presence. i am no character of a story, but the author of many fates.”

__jean ㅤ“oh… i think it improper for you to regard me in such a way… i’m only the acting grand master, and i haven’t done nearly as much for mondstadt as vennessa or varka.”

__kaeya ㅤ“oh-ho-hoh, you’re trying to flatter me, aren’t you? try dry praise like that after i’ve had a few more drinks.”

__klee ㅤ“heehee, the main character? i’m not from a picture book, you know.”

__lisa ㅤ“hmm.. don’t you think working at a library after being the akademiya’s most distinguished graduate of 200 years would speak better of desires for the opposite? sweet of you to say, though, cutie.”

__mona ㅤ“the responsibility of a main character is far more than that which comes with wealth of knowledge and birthright. yes, i think your comment is suitable, since i’m also altruistic, wise, and humble, all in a unique enough way…. don’t give me that look.”

__noelle ㅤ“how kind of you to say! but—ahem—since i’m not yet a real knight, it must be a very sad story to read.”

__razor ㅤ“razor wants to read that story! does teacher have it?”

__rosaria ㅤ“i... hmph. you should read more books, i think you’d change your mind. stop scowling at me and say something more useful.”

__sucrose ㅤ“w-what? a main character? even a narrator would have trouble trying to define me interestingly. but then, would that mean i will discover more in my research? i’m not sure but i wouldn’t mind that.”

__venti ㅤ“you’re always saying that now that you know about my past. well, if i’m not recognized as the archon, at least i have some importance to someone, hehe.”

author's note: thanks for reading; i hope you enjoyed. reblogs are appreciated, and if you enjoyed, consider following for the continuation of this series :)

➳ NEXT

➳ GENSHIN MASTERLIST

[nicklloydnow]

“BLACKMORE: One concept you've written about is the "Robot" - the lower functions that automatically steer us in certain methods of behaviour and that sort of thing. It's only when we can break out of that consciousness that the Robot controls that we're really free. Does that relate to these three levels of control?

WILSON: Oh, absolutely. It's very perceptive of you to say that, because that obviously is where the freedom comes about. In Religion and the Rebel, my second book, I talked at the beginning about what I call the "automatic pilot" which takes us over. This is what I tend to later call the Robot, pretty well the same thing. Also, what Gurdjieff meant by "the machine". When Gurdjieff says "understand the machine", he means "understand your own robot", the Robot being this part of us that does things for us, and which ought to be entirely good. It drives your car for you, it speaks French for you, it does all kinds of things. Unfortunately, it also does the things you don't want it to, like - you go for a walk which really moves you deeply the first time. The second and third time, it's the Robot walking instead of you; you listen to a symphony that moves you, the third or fourth time it's the Robot listening as well as you, and interfering. So this automatic level, which tends to cut in particularly when we're tired, is of tremendous importance, and obviously, because the Robot in human beings is so fiercely efficient, we are not aware of our degree of freedom. We just get so completely - I mean, imagine a rich person who is born rich, and has lots and lots of servants, and he could quite easily, if he was a gentle character, get used to the idea that in fact his servants were minders who told him what to do, until he had a feeling that he had no freedom at all. You know, he did what his butler and his maid and his secretary told him. Now we're rather like that with the Robot, and it's only in these sudden moments of freedom in which you suddenly realise that you're in charge, and not the robot, and the Robot's a servant, not a master. It's very much tied up with this notion of the third level of control.

BLACKMORE: Given that "peak experiences" are often random or unpredictable, can we practise extending or maintaining these moments of heightened awareness? What about techniques for expanding consciousness, for achieving that level of freedom? I know you've talked about, for instance, the act of mental "clenching" and the notion of "intentionality".

WILSON: Of course, but you see, there's only one basic technique for switching off the Robot. If you were sitting in a class in school, staring blankly out of the window, and the master suddenly shouted at you, "Wake up, Leigh", what he's saying is "Pay attention!" Now, "Pay attention" is in fact what switches off the Robot and makes the real you come on. So the truth lies in that phrase "attention".

BLACKMORE: So it's a focusing of attention that is the crux...

WILSON: And the reawakening of attention again and again and again every time we "go to sleep". That story I love quoting of the master Ikyu, when a workman said to him "Will you write something significant on my tablet?" and he wrote "Attention!" And the workman said "Hmph, that's not very significant, can't you write something else?" And he wrote "Attention! Attention!"

BLACKMORE: That's a Zen parable?

WILSON: That's right. Then the workman said "And what does 'attention!' mean?" And Ikyu said "Attention! means attention!"” - Seeking the Philosopher's Stone

[your--isgayrights]

Re: LSK, I just feel like they’d have told her? Like social services would at least let her know what happened to the kid that they literally think she killed for?

Anyways I’ve decided to be the change I want to see—

https://archiveofourown.org/works/46776781/chapters/117815713

Oh I'm glad you got around to writing your idea! Again enmasse mental health reveals are a bit of a squick for me personally, but if anyone was interested in the Anon story idea about a scenario regressing KDJ's age to his first meeting w/ a kdjco member that's what this is ^^ clickable here.

Also this isn't a value judgement on your interpretation or anything but I still feel a hard disagree about LSK being at all aware of KDJ's suicide attempt. I think it's important to me that that's like a vector of resentment he holds towards her, and I also think that if she were aware of it then there are a few points where it like would have been good for her to acknowledge that maybe in text and I'd prefer if the fact that she didn't came from her not knowing instead of knowing and not really understanding or smthn.

+ from LSK and KDJ's perspectives in text my interpretation was always that LSK purposefully cut herself off from news about her son and her son's life (to the point that he had to be the one to visit her only to be met with complete silence). + The relatives KDJ stayed with were his legal guardians and on his father's side of the family, the text made it clear that they don't initiate any contact with LSK and they would be the only people contacted by the hospital for KDJ's attempt, which, knowing SK society they would probably try to keep on the down low. And logistically, one of the huge human rights problems with prisons is that connection to the outside world is super limited, and LSK was only ever visited by KDJ after he turned 18 and was already obsessed with WoS. Like the "they" who would tell her probably only know her as her inmate number, they're not keeping track and telling her something she just ought to know bc prison guards don't consider inmates to be people lol. Hashtag ACAB hashtag prison abolition etc. Social services in particular in the case of imprisoned parents might intervene to specifically prevent information about children reaching bio parents lol.

I also think this point of isolation from the knowledge of every character in the story is really important to the nature of KDJ's suicide attempt. Like in my personal experience there's usually a factor of trying to externalize suffering that is usually silent, and because part of KDJ's suffering is that what others think of his mother's relationship to him doesn't match up with his reality where he has been abandoned I feel like it's a more empowering narrative to acknowledge that suffering as real and true instead of like oh LSK just knew all along and wanted to help him but couldn't 囧. Like it's so much realer and juicier to me if like KDJ is right that his mom doesn't really know him well or understand the extent or cause of his suffering bc she is just completely wrong about thinking that she knows what's best for him and that's central to their entire arc in text. Like LSK only works to me if pre cannon she is 100% convinced KDJ is living better off without her.

[iuteamstarcandy]

[NEWS] 151023 IU chats with her same age peers.. in ‘A Bunch of Twenty-three’

The dress code for the CHAT-SHOW was ‘flower’ as flipping the number 2 to look like an ‘S’ and adding a ‘3′ to it looked like a flower. The title of the event was also ‘A Bunch of Twenty-three′

“Just writing the number 23, it looks like flower petals. Doesn’t it? Am I the only one that thinks so? It’s in the lyrics for ‘Twenty-three’ too. It goes like ‘a bunch of twenty-three~’. I think the age of 23 is just like a flower.”

“I’m in a really good mood right now. More people are listening to my songs than I thought and I tell them that too. My songs are doing really well. Am I being arrogant right now? It’s the first album I’ve done producing for, so the sense of responsibility I have for it is really different from before. I searched it up at 1am and was like, oh, I made it! I was really thankful. Really, I thought to myself that I have to live as a good person from now on (I guess she means for good karma). I’m being really excited right now, isn’t it?”

“I wrote all the lyrics. There were a lot of things I wanted to say. Also, the topics were not light ones. These are songs that contain some of my serious concerns. Originally I thought of having an ordinary album title like ‘People’. Or ‘Purple’ as an extension from ‘People’. I didn’t want to make it sound so serious for everyone. That’s why I put a layer of protective film on the album title. ‘These are not serious words, but just my idle talk (which is where the ‘CHAT’ in CHAT-SHIRE comes from).’ Like this.”

The title song ‘Twenty-three’ is inspired by the cheshire cat from ‘Alice in Wonderland’. When Alice gets lost, the cheshire cat appears in front of her and she asks, ‘Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?’ to which the cheshire cat replies, ‘That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.’

"I don’t know what’s real, really. An article about me appears on a web portal. On some days, it puts me in a good mood? Uwah, I’m just staying at home, but there’s an article on me? But on some days I think to myself that I just want to hide somewhere. I don’t know for sure what I really want and all I have are short moments. Is it like that for you guys too?”

IU sang ‘Zeze’ for a fan with relationship issues. It’s a song that uses the motif of the main character, Zeze, from ‘My Sweet Orange Tree’, which is about an angelic boy with a gentle heart who is at the same time a devil and incorrigible.

“It’s the most fun song I’ve written. I thought Zeze’s temper was sexy. Despite his two sides, I was supporting Zeze and fell in love with him as I read the novel. I become the Minguinho (tree) and the song contains my message for Zeze. I left a lot of things open to interpretation as I was writing this song, so if you read the lyrics, you’ll find it quite interesting.”

To a fan with family issues, IU said, “I hope you know that you’re being really cool” and sang ‘Red Queen’ to the fan as a gift. This is a song about the Red Queen in ‘Through the Looking Glass’. A woman everyone hates, a story about a time she was pretty. IU got her inspiration from a picture that f(x)’s Sulli drew.

"I went to Sulli’s house to play, saw the picture and thought of the Red Queen so I wrote this song. ‘That woman’ is mentioned a lot in the lyrics, but to everyone a different person would probably come to mind. Although I called her a ‘woman’, you can think of the person as a man too. Actually the lyrics to this song are rather bitter. So I tried to sing it as cunningly as possible. In order for my voice to sound cunning in talking about that woman, people listening to the song might find the woman quite poor thing and take her side. Did I manage to pull off the cunningness well?”

To a fan troubled about career and aspirations, IU sang ‘Knee’. This song was written on a sleepless night because of how much doubt she felt about herself and she missed the times when she lay in her grandmother’s lap and could sleep without any worries.

"I feel the same way. I’m 23 now, but why have I not adapted to life yet? Spending each day clumsily like an amateur. ‘Knee’ is song I love the most on the album. I think it’s the first time I almost felt like crying while recording. I was feeling so sad that I couldn’t take it.”

IU won’t be promoting this album. From November onwards she’ll start her nationwide concert tour. “This year, I was involved in all kinds of activities. Other than for my concert, I think I’ve spent all the rest of my energy. I wouldn’t want the emotions I felt while producing this album to mix with those while doing broadcasts. I just want to end on a happy note. That’s what I wish for.”

Sad to part with the fans, she said she would create such opportunities for them again. IU went down from the stage and took a group photo with the audience and promised to post it on her Instagram.

“I’ve got to go and work now. Today was really fun. It’s such a pity, I find it a pity too. Two of my ex-classmates are here. You guys are my true friends. I really really had fun and thank you for coming. Get home safely. It’s a burning Friday, so go have fun somewhere. Don’t just go straight home. Annyeong~”

Source: Newsis

Translated by squishy with love

[freyjaprompts24]

I'm sorry but my comments is generic and if that makes me look like a bot then I may as well stop. Because I do not have the mental capacity to think up something unique for every comment I write, or to try and recall what line I liked or something about a character. I just want to give the writer the added encouragement when I read, usually re-read and therefore can't leave kudos, but that is unwelcome now I guess.

Hi anon. I'm sorry you feel that way, but that's not what was said. You don't have to leave something unique for every comment you write! You don't have to try and recall anything complex if you can't! We're not expecting complete originality - of course not! And no comment is unwelcome. We just want to know you're not a bot.

What I said was, word for word:

Readers: if you comment like this usually, add in some identifying detail from the fic (a character name, a line you liked, the name of the fandom, etc.). Don't let this stop you from commenting, please!

What this means is:

Write the comment exactly the way you would normally. Then, if you want to, before you hit post, add in one identifying detail. Even by tacking it on the end, if you like.

(Pro tip: Ought always implies Can. What that means is, if something says 'do this' and your response is 'I can't', then that suggestion wasn't for you.)

Examples using modified versions of the comments from the original post:

Fantastic story! I couldn't stop reading it, and the character development was incredibly engaging, especially for [Crowley]. Bravo!

The way you describe the settings is incredibly vivid. I felt like I was right there with [Aziraphale and Anathema], experiencing everything. Fantastic writing!

The dialogue in this fic is so natural and true to the characters. It felt like I was eavesdropping on their conversations, especially the [dolphins] one. You've captured their voices perfectly.

Or alternatively, add one of these onto whatever you wrote otherwise:

(Not a bot, btw. Thanks for writing for the [Good Omens] fandom!)

My favourite line was "[pasted line you highlighted and copied while reading]".

The [Good Omens] fandom is so lucky to have you!

I love [Madame Tracy] so much!!!

(The bits in bold are my additions to the originals. You would just swap out the [bracketed] sections for the identifying detail relevant to the fic. Very minimal changes to the comments as they existed, but immediately more personal.)

That's it! That's all that was suggested.

Again, suggested. Sorry if you thought anything else, but this is fandom and everything you do here is completely up to you. This is advice! It's not compulsory! Not mandatory! Not essential! Just a nice idea to stop a writer from worrying that you're a bot and fearing that their fic was just scraped for an ai.

And I've said it before, but I'll say it again - if you don't have the energy for actual sentences, that's fine!! Emojis are a fantastic way of getting your emotions across, and the bots aren't using them yet. They also appear to be going for dictionary words, so keyboard smashes ("asdfghjkl") and extended screaming ("aaaaahhhhh oh my goddddd") are also great! As are "extra kudos" or "came back for a re-read, thank you again!" or "re-read number five, this fic is incredible" or whatever else. We're not expecting essays. (They're appreciated when they show up, of course! But never expected.) We just want to know there's a real person there.

Anon, I'm sorry you feel dispirited by my comment on that post. But I hope this makes it clear that you're not required to do anything at all if you really don't want to. It was just a simple idea to help someone out. I (and others in the notes on that post) thought it would just be a nice gesture to save an author from stress, if you can.

Please keep commenting. If you don't have the mental capacity to change what you're doing, then don't. But if you do, adding just a couple of words can make all the difference.

[littleapocalypsekitten]

So, I just had someone review some dumb crossover fanfiction I did... oh, probably 10 years ago or so just to inform me that they thought that my fic was “too edgy” and “seemed to be edgy just for the sake of being edgy and it rubbed them the wrong way.”  And...that’s all they said.  They were the same person who’d given another review consisting only of “Wut?”   I replied “Then stop reading it.”   (I didn’t see what chapter they’d gotten up to, I think it was a review on one of the mid-chapters).   I mean, it’s not like there aren’t other Super Smash Bros. / Hunger Games crossovers out there - and, well, if you’re going into a Super Smash Bros. / Hunger Games crossover you ought to know what you’re getting into.  It’s going to be much less like canon Smash Bros. and much more... cracky bullshit.  (Even if the fic is on the more dramatic end of cracky bullshit).    Well, now I know why whenever people comment on fics anymore, especially old ones, it tends to be generally positive / that people don’t do flames anymore because I think most people realize that fanfic authors just laugh at those. Oh, trying to hurt my fee-fees by telling me that I’m “too edgy” on a decade old fic?  I mean, this is just a hobby to us, we aren’t getting paid for it, most of us don’t even have betas / editors, it’s a thing we do for our own entertainment and (hopefully) the entertainment of others. (I actually remember telling myself “I can’t believe I’m writing this” when I wrote the damn thing.  I then proceeded later to write a Super Smash Bros. zombie apocalypse story that’s EVEN WORSE with the overwrought drama and stupid, stupid horror).  Crit is good if fics are recent / current and authors will generally take criticism on those but... something that was posted over 5 years ago?   It’s like... there is a difference.  I was reading a Trigun / Trigun Stampede fic recently.  It’s new / ongoing and I liked the idea of the fic, the premise had me hooked, but something in the first chapter bothered me as out of character.  It was something that I thought the author could make work - and they explained in a reply that it tied into plans of theirs and they needed something to happen for plot-reasons, but I pointed out how it struck me the wrong way just a little bit and how the plot-necessary thing could have happened in a different way, but said that I didn’t want to tell them how to write their fic and was waiting to see what they were going to do with it, that how they did things was genuinely interesting and morally complex and I wanted to see how it played out.   They up and said “No! Your idea is better! I’ll rewrite that bit in the chapter!”  And they did.  This was a conversation on a current / on-going fic and wasn’t me dismissing the fic entirely, just a friendly concrit (I wasn’t even expecting a change, it’s just...apparently, I helped)?     But... you know, if it had been a 10 year old some odd thing that the author was long finished with / had long abandoned, there would have been no point.  I would have been left to see what the author had done with it after the fact rather than real time and if I didn’t like the entire thing, I would have clicked away and not bothered reading it - and not bothered an author who had moved on, a decade hence.  I really think that certain...dudes?  Just like to discover things years after they’re posted and send little zings to authors who are long de-attached from things just to puff themselves up?  I don’t know.   

[valentinerose529]

Sorry op but i have watched this trailer in full multiple times and i think this is going to be my villain arc. Excuse me, rant inbound--

My first and biggest critique is that you have no idea what the hell the plot of the movie is. like, okay, a group of people that may be related but may not be, of whom we don't even know their names, have ended up in minecraft. through a portal. they look around and do minecraft things. piglins are there and they are in the overworld and also not zombified. perhaps they are mad at our blank-slate protagonists, but like... why? what for? actual game piglins aren't mindless brutes, they have societies and complex architecture and only return attacks on a defensive, they have developed a rudimentary trading system with the players when neither group can speak to the other with words or pantomime or anything! They all have glowing eyes, implying that someone might be controlling them? but who? and why? How did Steve get there, and why does he also look totally human when the rest of the world is square? are the central four people meant to be players and Steve is a non-native of Minecraft as well? Who knows? oh, and what's that glowing blue cube Jason Momoa has for about a seventh-of-a-second of screen time? Who knows?

Purely from a writing/storytelling perspective, this is not a well-crafted trailer or introduction to the story. Even a teaser trailer ought to explain a few things, instead of just blasting cool visuals and random key things to catch the attention of any newbie minecraft player: in a minute and twenty seconds it is entirely possible to say "i know why we're in minecraft! we have to defeat the Big Bad Evil Guy and then we can get to the portal home again!" in like, ten seconds, and still have plenty of screentime left for those cool visual shots.

It doesn't tell you the characters. it doesn't tell you the plot. it doesn't introduce the villain (or even the mysterious who's-that-pokemon shadow of an unknown villain) or the central conflict in lieu of a physical person to be a villain. It doesn't explain the world. it shows multiple visually-interesting but ultimately pointless snapshots and glimpses of scenes. How did

Ghasts serving as lighter-than-air transport is an epic idea, though, I have to hand that to them. That's the only thing I can accept as interesting in the entire trailer.

Did I mention we have no idea who the characters are? Or what they're doing in Minecraft? Or what their relationship is to each other? And why their costumes are so bland and clashing? I'm pretty sure that's Jason Momoa in a very-obvious blond wig. is that part of his character or do they have even less of a budget and experience than a fourteen-year-old cosplayer? Who knows?? Even if it's meant to be real hair, even accounting for the somewhat cookie-cutter expectations for "manly" styles of long hair, it's not even styled, brushed smooth, tied back, or anything to look like actual long hair. it looks like a wig and it looks cheap. the young girl's outfit isn't horrifically clashing, but it doesn't really have any style. The two adults seem to be even less aware of what kind of clashing outfits they're in. Same with Steve--is he wearing a v-neck polyester sweater over a turtleneck? if you're gonna liven up his outfit, why not stay consistent to the idea of a hardworking forester/hunter-type person and give him an outfit that looks like a lumberjack might wear? And WHY is he white when ?? Minecraft Steve is not white, and if you're going to be that dedicated to making blocks of wood look like actual bark then you can find an actor with a skintone matching his actual in-game skin. (I think you could put Jason Momoa in Steve's role and nothing would change except he would make an "accurate" Steve, because there's no plot visible in the trailer to indicate who or why or what about Steve's anything.)

And the graphics...... I know i'm not the first one to say this, but frankly, that sheep and that llama are so freaky-looking. They're entirely inconsistent with the rest of the graphics of the non-animal world! hyperrealistic textures of fur and wood and dirt on the piglins, but inexplicably square. Don't get me started on the wolf; it's all blocky and weird when the in-game wolves don't even have double-segmented-body shapes like that. The piglins and the ghasts are so smooth and plastic-looking. And the weapons they're carrying! somebody put in the effort to design fat folds and and near-unique outfits for every piglin that still account for the overall-square shapes of their bodies, but their swords and other tools are constructed

I'm not the first one to say this, but the entire visual design of the trailer seems to fit in very well with the "what if minecraft was real life?" type of videos with hyperrealistic texture packs that unless they're actually animated as an art project and can be put together coherently, just end up looking entirely janky against the square construction of the entire Minecraft universe. Like, they didn't even make the central rings of the cut log blocks be in squares, so it looks like someone put wood-patterned contact paper on a living room's footrest cube.

I'm still reserving judgement until a full trailer comes out, in case it explains more of the story, but frankly... I might not be too hopeful. It's obvious that the movie is meant to snatch the nostalgia both of now-adult old players and young new players, with the obvious points of "trees floating after you punch out the middle block" or "crafting things at a crafting table" to make the viewer say "oh hey, that's minecraft! i'm familiar with that function!"

super bowl commercial-lookin ass movie

[birdsong-warriors]

I got a few Asks and realized I should have a sort of mascot to answer stuff with! So I took my initial idea for my Warriors OC, Kestrelsong, and did something with it, lol. I went for a super toony Flash style for fun. XD I probably won’t go this route with Asks because I’m bad at lining things. 

So here is my new mascot with super simplified versions of my troublesome feathered sons. cB Now time to answer things!

[fandomlovingfreak]

Glacial Passion (6/?)

Regulus Black/Reader

Rating: SFW, T+, NO LEMON

Trigger Warning: Arranged Marriage

Word Count: 1991

MasterList Link I AO3 Link I Wattpad Link

Summary: Glacial, cold, icy… all words that described Regulus Black’s grey eyes. Was there truly no emotion behind those eyes, or did a caring man exist beneath? Could she defrost those glacial eyes?

Disclaimer: Regulus Black (Walburga Black, Orion Black, and Sirius Black) is a character from Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling. Reader or y/n is not owned by Rowling. This work has not been created for profit or financial compensation, and is a transformative fair use work in accordance with Section 107 of the United States Copyright Act.

Notes: No real notes today! I hope you enjoy. This story took a “lighter tone” than I expected (at least I hadn’t expected it to, maybe you did ! aha!) but I actually like writing happier stories so I guess my brain just went “cowabummer bro, you’re writing some happy fiction even if you didn’t want to”

Enjoy

***

"Where are we going?" (y/n) asks. 

Regulus felt a bit relieved that (y/n) agreed to come along on his little surprise trip. After last night, which he now realized was a complete mistake, he wasn't sure that his wife would willingly agree to go out in public with him. Especially if he promised some sort of surprise.

She hadn't asked him any questions until they were walking outside, her arm tucked nicely within his. Like it was meant to be there.

"If I told you, it would ruin the surprise." Regulus glances over at his wife. She's got a deep frown on her face. It doesn't exactly mar her beautiful face, but it reminds him a bit too much of his mother's annoyed expression. "Just trust me."

Her little huff of annoyance he decides is enough of a response.

Regulus tries to think of Sirius's advice. Get to know (y/n), even the small things he personally thought were unnecessary to know about a person-- moot things about her. And in turn, be vulnerable enough to share small things back.

"So-- uh, (y/n)."

"Yes?" she looks at him with confusion in her eyes.

"I thought we ought to try and start fresh."

"Fresh?"

"I don't know how else to move from here if we don't have a clean slate."

"I hardly think that would work."

Merlin-- "(y/n)," he stops, halting her as well, "I said I would try to give you what you want. If you shut me down, there's no chance I can."

She gives him a look, "Regulus--"

"Listen," he inhales, collecting himself, "I'm not good at this. You'll have to be patient with me, but I'm willing to figure this out. And I probably won't--" He pauses, "I probably will mess up, a lot. But, please. Give me a chance."

(y/n) studies his face, "Okay."

"Okay?"

"I understand that I'm asking you to step outside of your comfort zone, and I appreciate that you're being open with me."

Regulus smiles, muttering, "Sirius was right." Under his breath.

"What?" (y/n) asks.

"Nothing." Regulus takes her hand in his, "this can be like our first date."

(y/n) smiles, amused, "this is silly--"

"I was serious last night that I will try."

"No pretending. You swear you will not pretend with me?"

"That's why I am asking that we start fresh. Give me a chance. I'm not good at this-- relationships. I need time and patience."

She seems to contemplate his words, "Okay. But--"

"Yes?"

(y/n) looks down at her feet for a moment before looking at him again, "If we're going to-- start over, it needs to be slower."

"Slower?" He frowns. What the devil is she talking about, slower?

"I mean," (y/n) purses her lips, "I mean that it has to feel like we're actually starting a new relationship."

Regulus chuckles, "you want me to court you?"

(y/n) smiles, "if those are the words you think describes what we are trying to do, then yes. I think I would like you to court me."

Now he feels silly making the suggestion because he has no idea what courting entails. He can barely flirt!

"I mean-- I can try."

(y/n) grins. He's at a loss for words. Not once in the time he's known her-- been married to her, has he seen her look this happy. Clearly, Sirius's advice was half-decent. For the first time since (y/n) walked down the aisle towards him, he felt something. Hopefully, the beginning of something great between them.

***

"You brought me to— the Eiffel tower?" (Y/n) looks up towards the cloudy sky.

Regulus flushes, "It's not just the Eiffel Tower."

(Y/n) laughs, "it looks like it's just the Eiffel Tower—"

"Just—"Regulus lets out a frustrated sound, "it's more than that." He pulls her towards one of the legs of the metal tower. He supposes that enough muggles are wandering around that they wouldn't notice the disappearance of the young couple. He pulls his wand out of thin air, tapping where the witch at the hotel told him to. The metal of the tower seems to melt and twist, magically revealing an entrance.

"What—"(y/n) grips his hand tighter, "I had no idea."

"Neither did I. It's called Caché à la Vue," Regulus grins, "c'mon, Mrs. Black."

They walk through the entrance, the metal contorting back into shape behind them.

In front of them, a bustling street moves around them. Wizards and Witches bustle around carrying cauldrons, brooms, and colorful bags holding other wizarding tools. A group of young girls rushes by, giggling in their blue Beauxbaton school uniforms. 

"Oh— it feels like Diagon Alley," (y/n) comments as she steps closer to him, her shoulder bumping his arm as she squeezes his hand.

Regulus nods, keeping her close as they walk further into the crowd.

"I didn't expect it to be like this," he glances at (y/n). She's looking around with interest at the many shops and people. 

"Let's go in here," she's pulling him towards a shop that smells of lavender and sage. The shop is small but comforting with its earthy color scheme and almost luminescent glow. 

"Oh wow," (y/n) detaches herself from him for the first time since crossing into Caché à la Vue. Regulus watches her poke around the shop, always keeping a two-foot distance from her.

(y/n) seems to notice the hovering, "Why are you-- being so weird?" She's got an amused smile on her face. Regulus tries to relax, stepping a foot closer.

"I'm just giving you space."

"Don't you want to look too?" (y/n) beckons him closer, reaching for his hand. He obliges his wife, letting her point out small trinkets and items. 

***

The busy street of Caché à la Vue frames Regulus as I sit across from him. Once we had explored nearly every shop on the busy street, Regulus had tugged me towards one of the little Bistros, mumbling about it being a recommendation or something of that sort. I didn't fight his insistence to stop and eat. I hadn't had much for breakfast or lunch back at the hotel.

The afternoon hadn't been awful. In fact, I was enjoying myself more than I expected. It only partly-- honestly, completely, had to do with the sudden changes in how Regulus and I interacted. He suddenly was more sociable and curious about who I was. Which was sort of confusing, but at this moment, I felt more confident in our marriage. That maybe we did have a chance to fall in love, or even just co-exist happily together. If co-existing was all that could come from this, then I wished it to be at least a peaceful union.

Yet, I want to know him as much as he seems to suddenly want to know me, so I ask questions about his childhood and his life. At first, he seems reserved to answer some of my inquiries, making me more curious about the information he is holding back from me. 

"So--" I set down my teacup, "how was it like growing up in Grimmauld Place?"

This seems to be another question he hesitates over as he stares down at his plate for a full thirty seconds, making me nervous.

"Do you want the truth?"

I stiffen. The tone of his voice has me wondering if it was a good question to ask after all, "I would if you don't mind answering."

Regulus takes another moment to collect his thoughts, "I don't really remember much before going to school. My parents are-- you can probably tell they are not the friendliest of people." The understatement of the century. "They weren't good parents, if I'm being honest."

"What do you mean?" I suddenly feel uncomfortable as I continue down this path.

"(y/n), maybe this isn't a conversation for public." Merlin, that only makes me want to press for more information, but the look on his face tells me all I need to know at this moment. He will tell me the truth, but if he's more comfortable doing so behind closed doors, who am I to push him for an answer right now?

"Is it that bad?" I do feel a bit sick over how he's reacting to this question.

He looks down at his hands before looking back at me. His eyes are back to the icy grey I know so well. "It's not great." I have to look away from his eyes. "Do you know I have an older brother?"

"But--" Regulus is the Heir? How could he have--?

"Sirius was disowned when he was sixteen, effectively passing the burden of the House of Black to me."

"Do you still-- are you still in contact with him--Sirius?"

"I am, but privately. Walburga wouldn't approve. She likes to think that Sirius never existed in the first place."

"That's horrible!" I couldn't imagine pretending one's child never existed-- "what did Sirius do?"

"He ran away after refusing-- well refusing to do what we have done, I suppose." I stare at Regulus, shocked.

"I mean, he didn't-- doesn't believe in the Pureblood idealogy."

I pause, reflecting for a moment on his words. Is he saying Sirius ran away when his parents tried to make a match between himself and some Pureblood girl?

"Are you saying he ran away from an arranged marriage?" Regulus nods.

Merlin's-- He was only sixteen? "Your parents, they really tried to-- he was so young--?"

Regulus nods, "Too young, I know." Not that I felt the ages we were are any more acceptable, but sixteen? He would've been in the middle of school! Just a kid!

"I can't blame him for running away--" I let the words slip without thinking, quickly feeling guilty for saying such a thing to the man I'm married to. The man I married for the same reason his brother left the exclusive circle we exist within. "No offense, of course--" 

Instead of looking offended or getting angry, how I expect, Regulus laughs. A real genuine laugh.

"It's not that funny, Regulus!" The words had just slipped out of my mouth before my brain processed my rudeness.

"You are exactly like Sirius. It's freakish." He grins.

"What does that mean?" I'm hopeful he's complimenting me.

Regulus takes my hand in his over the table, "You just remind me of him. Both of you are unapologetically yourselves. I envy that."

I want to tell him I'm nothing like his brother. Sirius was able to leave the life we grew up in. I clearly didn't have the balls to leave. But, I don't want to say that, not when we're getting along so well right now. 

"You can be unapologetically yourself, Regulus."

His smile is small as he looks down at our intertwined fingers, "I'm afraid I can't be. At least not publically."

"I can't exactly be publically myself either, especially now, but maybe in private, yeah? When it's just us."

He gently lifts my hand up to tenderly press a kiss to my knuckles. My breath hitches at the suddenness of his actions, and I feel suddenly warm. "When it's just us." His agreement, the tone of his voice when he agrees-- it's incredibly intimate.

Dumbly, I nod. Regulus smiles, kindness reaching his eyes and thawing out the ice they held earlier.

After a beat of silence, one I could not find words to fill, Regulus speaks. "Was there anything else you wanted to see?"

I find my voice, at last, saying I did not believe so. 

***

I felt delirious with desire watching her squirm after my lips left her knuckles. 

Something about (y/n) fascinated me and made me want her, all of her. I knew she felt the same way, even after the way our relationship started. I could tell by the way her lips parted and her breath hitched that she felt that spark between us. 

That spark gave me some hope that everything was going to turn out just fine.

[creativesplat]

I often try not to be too critical on this blog, but I thought I ought to mention it. 

Star Wars the Clone Wars has some serious problems. 

Some things are just not handled delicately or correctly in any way shape or form. I’m not going to talk about the Clovis arcs here, since @englishlady has already done a very good job on that, and will instead elaborate on my opinions about the Zygerria arc. 

Trigger warnings for discussion of slavery, non-consensual stuff, and sexual harassment. 

Anakin’s portrayal was the thing that really frustrated me at first. This is a man who has suffered under slavery, abuse, and violence for the first nine years of his life, and the story writers are telling me that he is almost entirely comfortable bantering with his Padawan whilst surrounded by awful things from his past? After a few years you don’t just get over trauma, but his reactions seem to have. 

I have been through nothing even remotely as bad as this, but the bad stuff that has happened in my past isn’t something I can get over, and when it’s brought up I feel rather uncomfortable, uneasy, or downright rotten. 

The show writers really should have looked at this and said: ‘we are putting a character who has experienced childhood trauma into a position where he will be confronted by it and may experience it again, let’s try to handle it sensitively’ but what they actually went for was: ‘we’re doing episodes on slavery, there should be scantily clad ladies and the overall message that slavery is bad’ Yes. Slavery is bad. Everyone knows that. In dealing with such a sensitive topic, it should be handled better. Not just ‘slavery bad, but ooh look girls!’ (I will be getting on to the inappropriate costume design in a moment, btw), but also some delicacy and tact. These are real world problems that people today still suffer from, they should be handled more appropriately. 

There was one line that really stood out to me (although all of them were rather poor) and that was where Ahsoka is discussing her roll on the mission. 

Here’s the conversation from the Clone War’s TV show: 

Here’s the conversation from the comic. 

See the difference? 

It feels really really tone deaf for the only character that is making light of the situation the only one who has actually experienced it. It felt a little like saying: ‘oh this sort of thing isn’t that bad, hehe lol’. It felt dismissive and not only unpleasant in terms of the real world as well, but also just incredibly poor writing and story telling. 

You don’t even need to realise he has emotional trauma to realise his character would be uncomfortable in that situation, he doesn’t like sand and he’s on a desert planet. He doesn’t like putting Ahsoka in danger, and Ahsoka is in danger. I mean maybe I’m just a little judgmental or maybe I misread it… but… IDK, the portrayal of Anakin really cheesed me off. 

---

Here’s the bits that may be a bit triggering, just a warning:

Ahsoka’s outfit is in no way shape or form appropriate. She is dressed like a sex slave, and she is a child. 

Anakin would have probably chosen the outfits for this mission, because you know, he has the most knowledge on the subject. You can not tell me that the Ex-Slave Anakin Skywalker would gladly dress his underage female Padawan in saucy clothes. 

This was a creative decision which made no sense in the story or for the characters, and it has some rather unfortunate implications. Whilst Ahsoka is not in any way harmed sexually there is the implication that something could have happened, had the Queen or Anakin allowed it. That is a rather distressing concept. It is inappropriate, particularly for a young child. 

In the comics Ahsoka was dressed like Shmi Skywalker. 

It would have made no difference to the story had they kept her dressed as Shmi Skywalker. I don’t really understand why they decided to dress a 15 year old girl as what appears to be a sex slave. It is disgusting and inappropriate. 

Although, full disclaimer, I have never read the comics. I have only seen some of these pictures when researching to write this little opinion piece, so they may have handled the subject matter inappropriately too, I’m not sure.

---

Another monumental wrong doing on the part of the writers was to make the ‘romance’ between Anakin and Miraj Scintel feel (with the music and staging) like a pining love. 

She had his friends captured and seriously harmed, had him electrocuted until he fainted, and is the queen of an entire slave empire. 

It was not a romance, or even a pining one-sided love.

At best it was sexual harassment of a powerless prisoner/ slave. 

At worst it was sexual assault. 

He woke up on her bed (which a few people have pointed out is a little unnerving and suggestive), she was very touchy with him (and he is uncomfortable with it), and she threatened him with hurting Ahsoka and Obi Wan (indirectly but it was clearly still implied) and the people who wrote the show said that they wanted the audience to feel some form of pity at her death because of their ‘romance’.

There are some moments where the writers imply that Anakin might not be entirely as into their ‘relationship’ as she is, telling her that she had “all the power” in their dynamic, but he looks so nonchalant at this point that it might go over the head of an audience member. He is telling her that she is forcing a relationship on him, and that he is powerless to stop it, and it’s played off as a blasé interaction. 

I’m not entirely sure you can put those things in a show and try to play it off as romantic to get the ‘child-friendly’ rating. They could have quite easily at least attempted to deal with the serious subject matter that they introduced. There was a suicide and a significant amount of torture and abuse in these three episodes, so there was no excuse when the show glossed over such obvious and unpleasant misconduct.

I don’t know what it is with the writers writing abusive, predatory characters who’s deaths are supposed to inspire pity. Miraj Scintell was handled as poorly as Rush Clovis was, and I don’t really have a solution to that.

Maybe if you’re watching the Zygerria arc of the clone wars, don’t watch it with younger siblings or your children.

Although, this is completely an opinion piece, so if you totally disagree or think I’m a bit of a hater or just being judgemental, that’s fine. I may be being too harsh, IDK.

I’d like to think that this was an honest mistake from the writers rather than them being deliberately obtuse or inappropriate.

[shelleysmary]

#austenread22 / northanger abbey final thoughts

I read this one in two days, partly out of “oh my god my May book stack is still so tall and I only have 10 days left!!!!” anxiety, but also because I found it as delightful this time around as when I first read it.

Again, I was surprised by my ill recollection of certain points - I could have sworn we spent more time at Northanger Abbey than we ultimately did - but the overall effect was one of “*Heart eyes* Baby Jane!!” Northanger was her earliest novel, though posthumously published, and I loved getting a glimpse into her nascent writer’s mind, as well as finding ties to her later works and the reappearance of themes she would explore for the rest of her life.

My spoilery thoughts are given below, in case this is your first time reading it (and if it is, how I envy you!) (A/N: Gosh.... forgive the length. I annotated the hell out of my digital copy and basically dumped all of that here... BLESS THIS MESS):

Before this reread, I would have have told you I was an Elinor Dashwood and Anne Elliot. The latter has yet to be proven true or false, but so far I’ve admitted to myself that I can be very Marianne and that I understand Fanny Price on a deeply cellular level. (*Whispers* It’s the traaaaauma!) After reading this book, now, I can say with full conviction that I wish I was Catherine Morland.

Like Jane’s other heroines, she is raised by neglectful parents who do their best but simply don’t have the time to give her one-on-one attention. She is not ignorant - Mrs. Morland makes very sure of that at least - but she doesn’t know everything, and furthermore Catherine never pretends to know everything, to be gifted or knowledgable beyond that which she knows to be true. Her good nature is shared with us from the very first chapter as well as her tractability. She likes tumbling down hills and horsing around with her siblings, but when she grows up she learns to like nice gowns, arranging her hair, and dancing. She’s adaptable. A teenager growing into womanhood, trying to find her place in the world with no real experience except that which she gleans from sensational novels. What she does have is, as Stephanie Laurens puts it in an afterword for Signet Classics, “an enthusiasm for life found both in those who are youthful as well as those who remain young at heart.” Catherine Morland is both of these things. Even as a woman of later years, I can imagine her retaining some of her innocence and romantic ideals; they are a part of her, just as wit is part of Elizabeth. Experience may sand away the rougher edges of naivety in Catherine, teach her caution and restraint when jumping to conclusions, but I hope she reads spooky stories and discusses them with Henry ‘til her dying day.

I found many similarities to Fanny Price while reading Northanger. Like Fanny, Catherine is intrinsically honorable. “To be disgraced in the eye of the world, to wear the appearance of infamy while her heart is all purity, her actions all innocence, and the misconduct of another the true source of her debasement, is one of those circumstances which peculiarly belong to the heroine’s life, and her fortitude under it what particularly dignifies her character.” This is Jane’s voice revealing a device which she would use for the rest of her writing career, and she makes a point of saying, “Catherine had fortitude too.” She is not excluded from the list of heroines who endure ignominy for a fault not their own, although.... in this case, the ignominy is being seen partnerless at a dance because John Thorpe, to whom she was engaged, is too busy gambling or talking horses to attend to her. In the language of novels, this is a trial on par with being shipwrecked or losing all you own in a fire! Jane reminds us in various asides of how Catherine ought to behave - not being asked to dance; being asked to dance by the man you want, but having to decline him because of an unfortunate prior engagement with a man you don’t; not knowing anyone at a ball; making a social faux pas... these are grounds for fainting fits, insomnia, a complete loss of appetite, and the development of a fatal cough! On the one hand it’s funny. It’s meant to be funny, and Jane’s dry tone tells us so. But on the other we are reminded by Henry Tilney that a dance is a metaphor for marriage, and marriage is no joke in the Regency era. Catherine’s father is not poor, but having so many siblings, it is imperative for her to marry well, especially as an elder daughter. Nevertheless, Catherine never faints. She may have grown up on a steady diet of melodramatic heroines but Catherine is sensible. Her feelings don’t run away with her the way they do with Marianne, because unlike Marianne, Catherine’s feelings have never been indulged. Her judgment is sound. She bears her disappointments with a moderation that speak of maturity and good sense. She’s not always right - like any teenager, she makes mistakes and proves herself a little bit silly - but for the most part, she is guided by what is “simple and probable.”

How, then, does sensible Catherine get to the point of all but accusing a man of murdering his wife or keeping her prisoner in a forbidden wing of Northanger Abbey? The answer is..... she’s seventeen, and seventeen-year-olds are allowed to be idiots on occasion, even ones who are good natured and possessed of good sense. Like Emma Woodhouse, when Catherine wants to be convinced of something, she is. We see ample evidence of this during Volume I and her early acquaintance with the Thorpes. I say “early” while having a laugh because Catherine knows Isabella for all of a fortnight before they’re swearing eternal love and friendship. I’ll admit, these parts were a bit painful for me to read because I had friendships like these as a teenager, ones where all the red flags were ignored in favor of falling headfirst into a heady new best-friendship that could do nothing but burn out as dramatically as it first sparked. Hell, I’ve had friendships like that not too long ago! Which goes to show that 27 and 17 aren’t so different as we’re lead to believe. Catherine wants to believe Isabella. Before her, she had no female friends her own age, so she makes allowances and lets things slide... It’s really not a bad trait when you think about it. Like Fanny, she is open to forgiving and second chances. But in the case of Isabella Thorpe?? Cue the long sigh, she and her brother are walking red flags.

RE: Catherine, we are told “she had not been brought up to understand the propensities of a rattle, nor to know to how many idle assertions and impudent falsehoods the excess of vanity will lead.” While we see Isabella clearly double-dealing (there is one phrase I love that illustrates her perfectly, when she is taking her leave of Catherine after an excursion: “with smiles of most exquisite misery, and the laughing eye of utter despondency”), Catherine fools herself into disbelieving her eyes and misconstruing what she must know to be true. “There has to be an innocent explanation” is an oft-repeated sentiment because Catherine wants Isabella to have an innocent explanation. She doesn’t want to believe her best friend is capable of deceiving her beloved brother, to whom she has promised her love and fidelity. But Catherine owes no such loyalty to Isabella’s brother John. She is clear-eyed as to his inferior worth almost from the first - though she gives him an initial grace period by virtue of being family to Isabella, her opinion of him is solidified with every ill-timed deed and word. Stephanie Laurens calls John “the ultimate antithesis of a hero, a young man of no value whatever, not to his family and even less to society...” And in the sickest burn of all? “He has no redeeming features.” To wit, Catherine Morland wouldn’t be caught dead marrying him. No amount of flattery or connection to her best friend would induce her to make such a foolish decision, and she moderates her behavior to John so as to appear Civil, yet Not Interested.

Here we go back to the Fanny connection. Isabella claims that “Of all things in the world inconstancy is my aversion,” which we are meant to take as boy-oh-boy irony because we know Miss Thorpe is the very picture of inconstancy. Like Mary Crawford, she is artful and - why mince words? - deceitful, saying one thing and meaning another, keeping her options ruthlessly open by not keeping her word if it doesn’t suit her. This is in stark contrast to Catherine, and really all of the Morlands. In his letter to Catherine after his engagement to Isabella is broken, James writes about his “folly of too easily thinking his affection returned. Thank God! I am undeceived in time!” And when Mr. and Mrs. Morland first meet Henry, “His pleasing manners and good sense were self-evident recommendations; and having never heard evil of him, it was not their way to suppose any evil could be told.” It was not their way. Catherine acknowledges that, before she went to Bath, she was “free from the apprehension of evil as from the knowledge of it.” She may have filled her head with abductors and murderers and other nefarious types, but the novels she read hadn’t done away with her family’s influence or altered her nature. The Morlands are honest, straight-forward people. John is a cad, but he isn’t wrong when she says Catherine has “more good nature and all that, than anybody living, I believe.” He doesn’t appreciate her at all, neither does Isabella appreciate James, but they are upright in a way the Thorpe siblings will never understand, just as Fanny’s cousins and the Crawfords don’t understand her. Catherine refuses to tell falsehoods “even to please Isabella.” She is artless, allowing Miss Tilney to perceive her partiality for Henry almost from the very first meeting, and indeed she is so without ~feminine wiles~ that Henry himself perceives her interest and it is this open, undisguised liking that convinces him to pursue and even to endanger all to be with Catherine. Her open-heartedness wins her her desired intended, while hypocrisy costs Isabella hers. While Jane Austen knows the ins and outs of the cutthroat marriage mart - and even likes poking fun at it! - she is clear, even at this young age, that dishonesty is abhorrent. And while it is often rewarded in the real world, in the dream-world of her novels, she likes to punish it where she can.

However, by no means is honesty in the face of dishonesty easy to uphold. It wasn’t for Fanny, neither is it easy for Catherine Morland. She suffers a distressing episode when the Thorpes conspire to make her break an engagement with the Tilneys for the second time. “I could not do it,” she protests, even when her brother James, moved by his affection for Isabella, tries to pressure her into doing wrong. “Catherine felt herself to be in the right, and though pained by such tender, such flattering supplication, could not allow it to influence her.” Here, Catherine shows her mettle, despite her youth and experience. In another similar passage, she is described as “always distressed, but always steady,” and in describing the Morlands as a whole, the narrator says, “Their tempers were mild, but their principles were steady.” Steadiness is the reverse of inconstancy. It endures bumps in the road but ultimately allows the one who develops it to come out, for the most part, unscathed and with their integrity intact. And because Catherine is also modest, she often looks to others for advice. “I always hoped you would tell me,” she scolds Mrs. Allen, “if you thought I was doing wrong.” I’ve seen criticisms that, like Mr. Knightley, Henry Tilney is an awful nag, and yes, he is, but both Emma and Catherine need correcting. It just so happens that the only ones who bother are their respective love interests. And Jane does not disapprove of this way of doing things. Remember that neither Catherine nor Emma enjoy a large society, and seeing as the only way for a woman to broaden her circle was through marriage, if she wanted to add to her family in both a literal and metaphorical sense, she had to marry. Husbands were companions and family heads, and both Emma and Catherine choose the ones who suit them best. There are others more charming, ones better at flattery and more indulgent, but they prove their good sense by choosing steadiness over hollow outward charm. An Austen heroine, you see, must prove herself in that regard, in not choosing the easy way but using her head to act wisely.

And really, Henry and Eleanor Tilney aren’t as exciting as the Thorpes. Henry is witty and an effortless flirt (flirting in a way that manages to toe the line of courtesy), but Catherine admits to being disappointed when she doesn’t feel the same spark of friendship she felt with Isabella when she first makes Eleanor’s acquaintance. “Not an observation was made, nor an expression used by either which had not been made and used some thousands of times before, under that roof, in every Bath season, yet the merit of their being spoken with simplicity and truth, and without personal conceit, might be something uncommon.” Catherine has to readjust, but her naivety does not preclude her from appreciating the simpler charm of a quiet, steadier friendship. Okay, so she’s partly motivated by the fact that she wants to get on with the sister of the man she has a massive crush on, and we as the audience are never not aware of this fact. Catherine desperately wants to impress Henry and his family! But she undertakes this with a seriousness, not allowing Isabella to alter her opinion of them, or John to sabotage her chances. Their relationship is built on conversation, on gradual trust - which isn’t very romantic, perhaps, but Catherine learns it’s more durable than what she had with the Thorpes.

It’s not like the Tilneys are a giant snooze-fest either. Alone at Northanger, they seem compatible and cheerful, and I only wish we’d gotten to know more about those days they spent at the Abbey without General Tilney storming about. Henry and Eleanor’s father is a party-pooper of the first order, even though Catherine was initially impressed by his manners and bearing. But his children seem afraid of him, their spark diminishes in his presence, and he fits right into our idea of the tyrannical father in a dilapidated country house - a vampire, almost, interested only in Catherine’s imagined fortune. (Doing Dracula Daily, it was only too easy for me to compare him to the Count, whose grandiose gentleman’s airs hide the nefariousness underneath.) Because of Austen’s tone, we know very well that Northanger isn’t that sort of novel - ergo, we never lend any real credence to Catherine’s ideas that the general killed his wife, and I don’t think we’re meant to. Catherine’s evidence is always laced with enough ridiculousness to make it highly unlikely. For instance, when General Tilney refuses to walk down the gloomy path his wife once loved, Catherine takes it as a sign of his guilty conscience. “He did not love her walk: could he therefore have loved her?” And when he says he will not go to bed at the same time as his family, having political news and business to attend to, Catherine thinks that “to be kept up for hours, after the family were in bed, by stupid pamphlets was not very likely.” ................I mean. I—I have no words for how easy it is to make fun of Catherine for that. And there is, of course, the infamous scene of the cabinet. She works herself up to a tizzy trying to open a strange, hard-to-unlock cabinet in her room at the Abbey, only to accidentally blow out her candle in the process of trying to get the flame to shine bright enough to read the mysterious pages she finds hidden inside (I cackled because I’ve made that mistake myself), and when morning comes and she has enough light, she realizes she’s taken these great pains for.... bills and receipts. Catherine tells herself “she had ‘never from the first had the smallest idea of finding anything in any part of the cabinet, and was not in the least disappointed at her ill success...’” but we know the opposite is true. Catherine had expected to find something quite extraordinary, and she is disappointed again and again by how mundane Northanger Abbey is. Here, she “indulge[s] in...flattering suggestion,” good sense be damned, considering herself too “well-read” to be mistaken in the signs pointing to General Tilney’s guilt. “It had been all a voluntary, self-created delusion, each trifling circumstance receiving importance from an imagination resolved on alarm, and everything forced to bend to one purpose by a mind which, before she entered the abbey, had been craving to be frightened.” Let’s blame Henry for some of this: that story he told her in the carriage on the way to Northanger about Matilda and the cabinet so like the one Catherine finds in her room was just too good, and if she was craving to be frightened, why Henry just whetted her appetite in that regard! Stephanie Laurens points out that “both Catherine and the general allow themselves to be misled,” Catherine by her wild imagination nurtured by sensational novels - and can we blame her? A girl with little attention from her parents, no friends or varied society? Catherine has had to entertain herself all her life, so why shouldn’t we allow her to be a little silly and asinine and believe the worst of an abbey governed by a shady older man?

After all, he may not be a murderer, but who would ever want an intimate acquaintance with General Tilney? Even before her (erroneous) suspicions take root, Catherine acknowledges a “terror and dislike” of him, and we must admit that there is something palpably off about him, just as we sensed that the Thorpes were always less than honest. Isn’t that what terror in Gothic novels is all about? That sense of something, or someone, being Not Quite Right but having no proof? It’s just that, in the real world (most of the time), the Not Quite Right isn’t rooted in curses or ghosts but in our intuitions about people, the subtle cues that ring the alarm bells and tell us to keep them at a distance. General Tilney is no less awful for being awfully mundane. He’s not a murderer but he has no kindness - no disinterested kindness, at least. He allows himself to be misled by John Thorpe because when he sees Catherine he sees bank notes and a higher social standing, and it’s clear from his behavior and that of his children that he expects them to obey without question and to do as he says. While we can allow that the general may have loved his wife, we can’t imagine him treating her with any real tenderness, or with the lightheartedness with which Henry treats Catherine. His behavior towards the latter is always wrong, inexcusable and wrong, and culminating with the disregard of all common decency in throwing her out of the house without a servant or a single provision as to her safety. (She’s a seventeen-year-old girl! Traveling alone! And a great distance!)

We know that Catherine can endure with dignity, and she does, but even her mother notices that she’s downhearted. Her greatest regret is, of course, losing Henry, as well as Eleanor. She knows she has been wronged and can do nothing about it. But when Henry appears and makes things right with a marriage proposal, she lets bygones by bygones. This is the quality I most love about Catherine. She has her delusions but she is never wholly blind, and while she allows herself to feel the pain of indignities, she doesn’t harbor resentment. It isn’t her way. In this respect, her parents have done a wonderful job of teaching their children to roll with the punches, to have a balanced view of adversity and to admit their mistakes and begging pardon without sinking to self-loathing. After Henry confronts her for her “General Tilney is a Murderer” theory, she feels horrible for a time, but she allows her spirits to be “gradually raised to a modest tranquility. She did not learn either to forget or defend the past; but she learned to hope that it would never transpire farther, and that it might not cost her Henry’s regard.” We are also told that she is “completely awakened” and that “the visions of romance were over.” Like James, she has been undeceived, given a brisk reality check - and it’s clear they both need a good shaking! The source and also the flaw of the Morlands’ good nature is the parents’ complete incuriosity, at least in emotional matters. “They never once thought of her heart,” Jane says, and not once does Mrs. Morland ask questions or try to guess at the real root of Catherine’s unhappiness upon returning room. Like her parents, James and Catherine take people at face value, not understanding why they might say one thing and mean another, not mining their own feelings or observations unless prompted or forced to do so. Catherine, I would say, has the potential for more and I’d say it’s down to her love of reading, but her association with the Tilneys also helps. “You feel, as you always do, what is most to the credit of human nature. Such feelings ought to be investigated,” Henry says, “that they may know themselves.” And Catherine is eager to learn, eager to improve, to live the best life she can and in the most honest fashion. She has Fanny’s good intentions and Elizabeth’s high spirit; Emma’s need for adventure or at the very least of occupation, her imagination, her self-deception on occasion, but it’s never malicious. She wants to see the best in others, like Jane Bennet. She wants to be emotionally fulfilled like Marianne. And though her mother says she will make a poor housekeeper, I think that’s not giving Catherine Morland her due credit - she is not above asking for help, not too proud to follow someone else’s advice, and with Henry’s having managed his own living for a time and Eleanor her dear friend married before her, I see no reason to assume that Catherine won’t make a good clergyman’s wife. All she wants is experience, and back then, as now, the only way to get it is to live and make a few mistakes along the way.

As an added note, I’m sharing one of my absolute favorite lines of the entire book, found in Chapter 14, when Catherine is citing the reasons for why she hates reading history: “The quarrels of popes and kings, with wars and pestilences, in every page, the men all so good for nothing, and hardly any women at all—it is very tiresome.” As the kids say... a mood.

tagged: @appleinducedsleep​, @kateschechterxthorwasmyfirstotp​, @thatscarletflycatcher​​, @xserpx​​, @deliciousslimekidbonk​​

[jilytoberfest]

Author - @bcdaily

Thank you so much for taking the time to do this! Find her on ao3 and ffnet !

1. What would you say is your interesting writing quirk?

I don't know that I'd necessarily call them quirks, but I think I am highly fixated on alliterative phrases, and it is tremendously difficult for me not to open a story or chapter with a pithy one-liner. They are my happy place. Oh! Actually, maybe a real quirk is also that I absolutely can not write un-chronologically. It always leads to disaster when I try. I write so based on the feeling and pace of what came before that if I try to jump the gun and skip scenes, I inevitably mess myself up. It can be really frustrating when I'm stuck on one bit and would rather jump ahead, but it never works for me. Sigh.

2. What was one of the most surprising things you learned in creating your books?

That I'm funny. I know this seems IMPOSSIBLE to some because literally all I write is funny & kissing, but I am not funny in real life. Or, at least, not quick funny. Give me a good ten minutes (or a week) and I can whip you up a pithy lol, but just in moment by moment? No. I am so underwhelming. I'm so sorry. But writing taught me that I am funny...just at my own pace.

3. Do you have any suggestions to help others become a better writer? If so, what are they?

Read incessantly. Reading is the best tool available to you other than writing itself. When you read, you soak up so much--on a fundamentals level, you soak up vocabulary and grammar, but when you're consistently reading the types of books you want to be writing, you're also helping build your larger toolbox. You learn what characters appeal to you. What dynamics. What kind of pacing and plot works. The tropes you like. The conflicts you don't. There's so much to take in during the intrinsic research of reading. And it's fun. So do it.

4. What do you think makes a good story?

Anything that makes you feel something. Or see something in a new way. Storytelling is so complex, and "good" is so relative. I would probably say what makes a good story is whatever you enjoyed writing, though that seems trite. But as a writer, that's true. It's good if you enjoyed it.

5. What is the first book that made you cry?

I honestly had to think about this because I don't know?? Strangely, the first book that came to mind was that Molly American Girl book, where at the end she had to stay home from her victory pageant but then her dad came back from war...but I don't know that I actually cried at that?? Maybe I just remember it vividly as something heartwarming that maybe I ought to have cried at if I wasn't eight. But if not that, probably The Giver, which I read in 7th grade. That seems late, but then again, I am almost never reading a book that will make me cry. I am a light and jovial gal.

6. Does writing energize or exhaust you?

Both? I think the two go hand in hand. Writing is work. But if we didn't enjoy it, we wouldn't keep doing it. So I think everyone would say both.

7. Have you ever gotten reader’s block? If so, what are your tips to overcome it?

Reader's block? No. Writer's block? Yes. And really the only thing you can do in my opinion is give yourself enough space from your writing to quit being in your head about it--however long that might take--and then launch back on that horse. Even if you're only writing a sentence a day, that's still something. But you have to be able to find the joy again, and you can't force yourself into that.

8. Do you think someone could be a writer if they don’t feel emotions strongly?

Well, I don't know exactly what "feel emotions strongly" even means, because all of that is so arbitrary. I'm sure most people feel certain things more keenly or prominently than others. But I also think writing isn't just about emotion. It's about observation. It's about relaying the way you see the world, a character, a moment. And you don't need to feel anything strongly yourself for you to describe something in a way that can make other people feel. That's the magic thing about words. They can do a million different things for a million different people, and not a single one of those is wrong.

9. If you could tell your younger writing self anything, what would it be?

My quite young self? Absolutely nothing. Preteen Bee wrote like a demon and thought she was a genius. It didn't matter if she sucked. She didn't know what that meant, and bless her. Teenage+ Bee? Chill the fuck out, gurl. It literally doesn't matter. Write what you want.

10. What was your hardest scene to write?

It's difficult to pinpoint one. I think maybe that ending scene in the most recent chapter of Commentarius? Mostly because it was something I had living in my head for literal years, and then suddenly I was writing it...and it was so much smaller of an exchange than I thought it would be? In my head it always seemed liked such a LONG row, a lot of back and forth, but actually trying to write it out, that just couldn't be the reality. Because people can't fight for that long without going in circles or deviating wildly, and going in circles or deviating in fiction is dead space. So that took me awhile to really accept and quit trying to fit my square peg in the round hole.

11. What is your favorite childhood book?

Ella Enchanted. It's still one of my favorite books of all time.

12. How long on average does it take you to write a one shot or a chapter of a fic?

It depends? I am a slow writer in general, and some of my chapters and oneshots are quite long. They have taken at times literal years. But I am also the sort of person that if I start a shorter drabble or oneshot and I don't finish it either that day or in a matter of a few days? Then there's an 80% chance I don't finish it at all. I have approximately 9 million documents of 500 word things I've started and never picked up again. It's my way. So I'm basically a woman of extremes: it either takes me hours or years. XD

13. A fic that inspires you?

I don't think anyone will be surprised if I pick one of Sarah's ( @ghostofbambifanfiction )...and maybe I'll go with Shelf Awareness on that. It's just such a lovely fic and it's so dynamic and the trope is so strong and Sarah's writing is next to none. I've also always always loved Buried Treasure and Transmogrify by RiennaHawkes. It's the perfect mix of plot and smut and just brilliant characterization.

14. How do you edit your work?

I edit as I go. Basically every time I open a doc, I'm skimming back a certain percentage and editing through before I start writing anything new. Generally, once I finish something, I only read it over once or twice before posting because I've already edited so much as I went. If there's a larger problem with the story or chapter, I generally catch it before I get to the end (usually because I can't get to the end without fixing it. It will trip me up).

15. Where does inspiration come from?

Everywhere? Anywhere? The space between and the tears we cry?

16. Who has been helpful for you as you write for the fandom?

I've always said that the reason I have stayed in this fandom for decades (!!!???!!!) is because of the people. The community as a whole is just so lovely and supportive and sticks with you even when you don't update the things they want (lol sry). There have been dozens of people throughout the years that have helped me and been my friend and kept writing and fandom fresh. And there have been hundreds more who have never even spoken to me, but still read my stuff and lurk around, and that's amazing too. So, all of them. Also, you know, Sarah. Who is my light and love and everyone knows it, so she has to get her special call-out otherwise everyone would just call me a liar and they'd be right. ;)

17. What is your fav POV to write from?

Close third person, for sure. I've done first, and it has its moments, but I just find close third so much steadier and still really gives you a look inside the character's head. If you're asking me to choose between Lily or James's POV, though...I literally couldn't. It just depends on my day, honestly

18. What is a fic you would love to write but are worried you won’t be able to accomplish it/nervous it wouldn’t work out?

How long do you have??? There have been a MILLION over the years. I still have a half dozen in my head brewing at any given moment. I guess maybe the longest lasting one would be that I've always looooved delving into this idea of James growing up and what pushes him there and how that plays out with the people around him. And for a long time, I really wanted to write a chaptered fic about James trying to give up being Head Boy. Because he just didn't trust himself with it. And the dynamic of how other people see him vs. how he sees himself and him properly growing into a leader who would join a war effort at eighteen. But I could never make myself launch into yet another WIP, so I ended up sort of squeezing the concept out in a one-shot (Realising) because I wanted to do it in some way, but I do regret a bit never properly tackling it. I think that would have been a really cool story to delve into James as a character. But time is my enemy.

19. Do you ever self insert in fics?

No. I honestly rarely pull anything from people I know in real life, myself included. At most I'll drop in pop culture references to things I enjoy, but that's basically it.

20. What is the story you are proudest of?

I'm proudest of different stories for different things. Commentarius is my baby, and I can never not love it and what it's become to so many. Scenes from a Hogsmeade Pub is special. Elevator Love Song was my first Muggle AU that launched a thousand ships. Eight Days is such a fun world. Auror Training is really really fun smut. And so many more. Truly. I am a proud mama.

21. Do you prefer writing canon jily or muggle au?

Lately? Muggle AU. Just because it lets me flex my muscles more. And I like that. But canon will always hold a place in my heart.

22. How do you go about planning a fic and which of your ocs is your favorite and why

I hate outlines with every fiber of my being, so I don't do outlines. When I have a fic idea, my planning process is usually to have a beginning, certain middle points, and generally an end point, and then to let myself roam free as I write to connect those and fill in the gaps. Sometimes it's a hot mess that way, but I feel instantly claustrophobic if I set things down too firmly. Because then I feel beholden to the things written down, and half the fun of writing is coming up with the freshest ideas as you go.

My favorite OC is MJ Rosier from Commentarius. If you know, you know.

Thank you very much for doing this!

[hephaestiions]

you literally glorified infidelity in your wireless 2020, fic writers like you really need to die out before you damage the community at large

you know, i’ve cycled through many iterations of a response to this ask. 

first i thought, let’s respond with a bit of sass. let’s say something like, ‘bold of you to assume i haven’t already died out, that tumblr isn’t just a congregation of ghosts moaning about the lives they wish they had’ or ‘what’s a community’ or maybe even a screenshot of the actual definition of glorification (which, well, i do suggest you look up anyway). 

then i thought, why entertain it at all? this is my space, this is my blog, it’s my fic. i can delete this ask, turn off anons and be done with it. i would be within my rights to do that. 

i also thought many times of explaining the contents of my fic. of explaining myself. contemplated answering this with poetry that metaphorically explains the many many things wrong with this. 

but here’s what i finally settled on:

honestly, anon, i’m feeling a little salty. it seems to me that you want fandom to be a highly sanitised space that fits into your personal parameters of ‘safe’ or consumable. what concerns me about that, and about this particular genre of anon hate in general is– for some reason your safe and sanitised world does not exclude sending people comments such as “...[you] need to die out”. i would argue that suggesting someone needs to die is maybe exponentially more threatening and damaging to ‘the community at large’ than a tagged fic that includes a disclaimer stating i do not endorse the behaviour i am writing about, but hey! personal opinions, am i right? 

i’m not going to defend my fic. i don’t feel the need to.

but if you think fanfiction about infidelity, fictional work that does not automatically demonise individuals who do something awful as the worst kind of monsters to exist, will actively push people to cheat on their partners (which is what i am assuming your definition of ‘damage’ to be in this scenario)... i’m going to have to ask you to reevaluate. fiction is not validation. it is exploration in a world where there are no real life casualties or consequences. 

i cannot believe that people have to keep repeating this: sanitising fan spaces by censoring content you personally find offensive will not in any way make fandom safer.  

in fact, this is literally the kind of comment that puts people and the ‘community’ in danger. 

i’ll explain. 

imagine this: people listen to you. people say, well, the glorification of infidelity really is quite awful, quite traumatising, we ought to ban it. but who determines what glorification is? who determines what romanticisation is? the line is too blurry anon, the only way forward here is to ban infidelity in fics completely. 

now readers who found comfort and solace in reading infidelity fics with hurt/comfort, with forgiveness or with freedom, with a particular quote that resonated with them, readers who turned to this fic at 3 am... they’ve lost it too. 

but hey, let’s take it further still, because that’s what this type of censorship will open fandom up to. let’s talk about how this will validate people who find content with any exploration of nsfw themes, r*cism, mis*gyny, homoph*bia, transph*bia, r*pe offensive. let’s talk about how they will approach the showrunners of censorship with the same argument: this content could be traumatising, could be validating for someone’s darker impulses, let’s ban it. and it all gets banned. 

enemies to lovers, banned because it might be construed as abusive. a/b/o, might be construed as misogynistic or codependent. hmm. high-school/college, oh god, that could be underage! soulmates? where’s the agency?! kid-fics? a minefield, any parenting is bad parenting to parents who do not parent that way. mcd? let’s not even go there. body-swap? the consent issues!! 

“alright. what about ‘there was only one bed’?” “well, i mean, i’m really not comfortable with that, it’s really creepy how writers will just force characters who don’t want to consent to that kind of intimacy into each others’ spaces.”

now i’m not saying that your personal opinions on these tropes, these themes, these topics is invalid. i’m not saying that if you’re triggered or made uncomfortable by these things, you should still read them. i’m saying that enforcing your personal preferences and takes on every single person in a community is not what critical consumers of media do, it’s what fascist and authoritarian governments and abusive individuals who do not understand boundaries do. 

here’s the truth about media that antis don’t like: there are antis for the media they actually do like. you ban something, you open up the goddamn floodgates for fluff antis to present their cases about how making characters ooc in fluff can be highly traumatic to people and how it should be banned. you start this brand of censorship, you risk losing fandom and the community you are so concerned about me damaging entirely. 

i’ll leave you with a realisation i’ve come to by reading all the posts made by people better with words than i am: the fastest way to create a dystopia is for someone to think their version of utopia is universal.

further reading for folks who might be interested in tumblr posts about fanfic: 

fanfiction as a collective exists as a combination of the ideal state and all the broken pieces that are left behind.  fanfiction: the stories mainstream showrunners won’t tell. for the people trying to make fandom a better place.

coexistence of hurt and healing

there are thousands of other such posts, articles, books, academic articles, maybe even interviews on the subject, and if anyone wants to send a few mine (and anon’s) way, feel free!

[zorlovinghue]

Well... Back then, or even still? there's this debate about being on Deruth's side or completely bashing him. Not sure if this still happening anywhere or it just that the people I was interacting with were particularly extreme but... It was hard? To find a portrayal of him as moderately, for lack of better term, likeable father figure? Outside of plots, of fanfics, I'm talking about general reputation and opinion. About how people would express their feelings in conversation.

I am talking personally, not just as a reader or fan. Maybe because I am back to my passive self and now interact less... with other people in the fandom, but even then this train of portrayal is morally upsetting? I'm talking about how people see him as a person, not character. Like time goes on guys, we grew in the meantime, had we not?

If you want to depict him like this in your stories, well just do so, it is fanfics after all. But also doing it in real-life conversation, interaction, and forcing such thing as establishment of characterization Deruth 'must' be? Come on. This is not an era where someone would be judged as a witchcraft and get k1lled for it.

Lmao. The fact that if I speak this way I'll instantly get bullied is showing enough, at least back then, hopefully? It almost at the level of boycott, it was to the point I was too scared to even speak and ended up faking myself to going along with it because I am genuinely scared of this type of people lol, frankly it was close to sociopathy and I am not going to sugarcoat. People who I once know and interacted with are either growing out of it or instead firmly established that Deruth is immensely evil. And now I simply exhausted.

I'm not justifying that Deruth's action is correct. Or that the feeling that potentially, not just what we decided to discern from original Cale Henituse, have were invalidated. It sucks, though please, at this point... Do you write him as the father of original Cale Henituse or someone else??? that you need to vent to the world????

So maybe this situation is not uncommon, I mean maybe there's people who just going along because they don't want to lose the friends they have in the fandom and because they prioritize their safety (yes, I am serious). But then there's people who genuinely see Deruth as terrible, not just bad, person. Was there not enough characters that deserve hate? Or oh, this guy is the closest to our beloved we must obliterate him???

The angst is good. In stories guys. Even in stories there's boundaries we ought to never cross. In real life? Heck no! Shit this is not even a joke, not at all. My mental capacity is stretched thin and honestly, original Cale Henituse is not the only one who was misunderstood. Deruth Henituse, too. Stop hushing and burying this, stop looking away and denying it.

Above all, it is a person's freedom to have different opinions. It is also a person's freedom to accept it or not. Think about it. Can we make the best parents to our own future children? Maybe we can say yes at this moment, but who knows how the future unfolds, for us to be filled with confidence?

I am 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 fed up.

WHY DO PEOPLE TREAT DERUTH LIKE HE'S THE EQUIVALENT OF KIM ROK SOO'S UNCLE????

LIKE HE'S TRYING, I'M SORRY HE DOESN'T HAVE THE HIGHEST EMOTIONAL EQ???

He's no track star of a father, but he's no deadbeat either?

I feel like y'all don't see parents as people. Because they are. They're flawed people who existed before you and carry their own burdens.

Yeah, there are some really shitty people out there who force their burdens on their children. There are parents out there who never let their children know they had a burden at all. Everyone is different. They carry their burdens differently, and some people crumple beneath them.

Deruth crumpled beneath the burden of his wife's death and failed to be an emotional support figure for his son.

I don't think this makes him evil, just weak.

Do I think this makes him a deadbeat shitty father who deserves the bizarre amount of condemnation he receives?

Er, no. I'll never promote Deruth as the father of the year, but the way people take what we don't know about the relationship between og!Cale and him to make Deruth the sole cause of Cale's problems...

you do a disservice to og!Cale's character. He had his own reasons for what he did, and he himself refers to them as his family when he spoke with krs!Cale. Why would he sign up for a war to avenge people who he felt neglected by? he wasn't just some victim, he played an active role in his life the same way krs played an active role in his og!life.

😗