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sweetxvertigo · 2 years ago

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2022 was… a year.

Putting this under a Read More because I wrote quite a bit haha.

I don't know if it was a good one or not. It definitely had a lot of ups and downs.

January 1st I went back to streaming 1st after taking about 6 months off due to burnout.

In February I had definitely the best birthday I've ever had though. I played an acoustic stream on twitch and a bunch of my close friends showed up at my house mid-stream with gifts + taco bell and it was just the absolute best. I don't know if any future birthday will surpass that. I'm so thankful that I have such incredible friends.

In March I quit my band of over 10 years. It was one of the hardest things I've had to do, but I did it for many reasons. I did it because I was frustrated with things within the band that I knew would never change. I did it because I wasn't totally feeling the direction we were going musically. And the big thing, was I wanted to try and really focus on getting my shit together this year. I really fumbled the ball on that last one. My last show was a really good time however. So many of my friends came out from different states and that I'd met playing music over the years which meant so fucking much to me. I was fully expecting to not be able to play the set without bawling my eyes out. Music has been my passion since I was 16, and giving up on it, even temporarily, was not an easy choice. I ended up being more angry during our set however because the sound person didn't route like any of my guitar through my in-ear monitors so I pretty much had to wing it. I wish I could have a do-over of that last show but oh well. A few days after that show a friend of like 7 years randomly messaged me telling me that we were no longer compatible as friends and then blocked me on all social media and to not contact them again. Definitely a kick in the teeth after an emotional weekend, but whatever.

In April I got to meet the singer of one of my favorite bands, The Wonder Years and show him my typography project based on their song Oldest Daughter which he thought was really cool. Ended up getting covid at that show, but thankfully it only felt like having a cold. I had a mild panic attack for a few days when I found out I had it AFTER making out with somebody and worrying that I gave it to them / their family, which it turned out I didn't somehow?

In May I went to my first concert since the pandemic started and it was to see The Menzingers, who are like a top 3 all time favorite band for me now. What a cathartic show it was to be able to scream along to their songs for over an hour.

The first day in June I woke up to the news that a friend, not one I was particularly close to but one that I enjoyed being around and got to bond over Coheed with a few years prior had passed away. It's so weird losing someone around the same age as you. I saw one of my best friends get married to the love of her life and got to celebrate it with all of my close friends. I went to a few more shows, mainly to see You Me And Everyone We Know.

I don't remember much about July. I remember being extremely stressed out about a lot of things. I did get to hang out with my friend from CT a few times which was cool though.

August was the last time I streamed until a one-off in September. I don't think I'll ever be the streamer I once was again, and that's fine. I broke things off with the person I was seeing. Oh and at the end of the month was when I made that bootleg MCR shirt that sold over 1100 copies? Wild.

In September I went up to NYC with a couple friends to visit one of my best friends from highschool that I haven't hung out with much in about 10 years. I went to my first burlesque show and got to see a really hot goth clown staple pages of the bible to her body. Went to at least another YMAEWK show, and obsessed over the new Wonder Years album.

Speaking of The Wonder Years, in October I got to see them and Fireworks twice. Some of the best shows I've ever been to, hands down. One of my favorite local musicians started releasing new music after like 7 years which was really awesome. I also got to take some cool engagement photos for a friend. At the end of the month I got to meet a bunch of cool online friends in person that I've grown closer to over the last year.

In November I got drunk for the first time at a friend's halloween party which was fun. The next day I got to see The Menzingers for the 2nd time this year, this time playing the album that got me into them in full and I got to be like 3rd row the entire set. I got to see a few of my friends play at the First Unitarian Church in Philly for the first which is so cool after seeing so many of my favorite bands there before. I ended the month seeing The Spill Canvas playing "No Really, I'm Fine" in its entirety which was such a wildly inspirational album to me back in the day.

And now we're in December. I started off the month by going up to CT for the weekend with my friend from NYC to visit another friend of ours we knew through twitch. We had a lot of soups that weekend. It was a good time. Had a friends Christmas get-together last week with was a lot of fun. I do feel bad that I couldn't get everyone gifts / didn't spend a lot but I'm glad that I got to see my friends and give most of them something. Honestly besides those things, this month flew by.

But here we are, less than 24 hours from 2023 and I don't feel any more accomplished than I did at the beginning of the year. I thought I was going to make moves this year and yet I couldn't get my brain to cooperate with me long enough to take the motivation I had to make any sort of strides towards reaching my goals. I've been super in my head this past week over stuff like that as well as other stupid things that have been sending my anxiety to wild levels. I did have a lot of good experiences this year though, along with the bad. I lost some friends, but I also gained some others. Maybe next year will be better over all.

#long post is long #2022 #cw: alcohol #tw: mention of death

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divergent-one-1984 · 2 years ago

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Organized Crime Ring in Astoria, NY, in a neighborhood under the jurisdiction of 114th PRECINCT and in apartment buildings managed by CENTRAL ASTORIA, LLC. I have been the victim of TARGETED COMMUNITY HARASSMENT SINCE SUMMER 2016 because of my race and gender, I am an African American woman (because of a rumor / gossip mill started by staff at NYC DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION while I was employed there from 2014 to 2016 I was made the victim of targeted psychological harassment). Due to the illegal access and leaking of private, personal, confidential information by wiretapping / cloning / hacking of personal devices and illegal surveillance in my residence. This includes leaking of confidential medical information ((HPV, strains that can cause cervical cancer and an Abortion) - 2 PEOPLE WHO ARE CONSTANTLY REFERENCED IN THE DAILY PSYCHOLOGICAL HARASSMENT I HAVE BEEN SUBJECTED TO FOR ABOUT 8 YEARS NOW - DEVIN ELTON THOMPSON and WILFRED SHAWN KIRKALDY (Post 4 - DEVIN)

This post will focus mostly on DEVIN ELTON THOMPSON. I will have a separate post for WILFRED SHAWN KIRKALDY. These people are constantly subliminally referenced to me through the use of various psychological abuse tactics to constantly remind me of thede people. These 2 men are from my sexual past and I believe I was made a target because of an STD, specifically HPV, which I was diagnosed with in 2008. I believe someone (s) at NYC DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION ILLEGALLY ACCESSED AND LEAKED MY MEDICAL INFO IN THR WORKPLACE AND TO PEOPLE FROM MY PERSONAL LIFE. Based on the timing of my diagnosis, I contracted HPV from one of the first 3 out of a total of 6 sexual partners I have had in my life. WILFRED IS INCLUDED IN THE FIRST 3, I believe I contracted HPV from WILFRED. I was diagnosed 6 months after we ended our sexual relationship in JULY 2007. We had a long term relationship over the course of 4 or 5 years, all of the time I was faithful, considering his sexual history and some of the behaviors he engaged in while we were together I cannot confidently say the same for him even though he claims he was faithful. I only had 1 sexual partner prior to him, and he had 4 children with 4 mothers by his mid 20s, so while I don't really know how many partners he had because the number he told me could have been a lie, but I think just this statement says enough about his abundant sexual history. Sadly, WILFRED is like a living breathing stereotype; a black man, an athlete (basketball player) with a promiscuous lifestyle and multiple children with multiple woman (common in Jamaican culture of which he is a descendent). DEVIN is kind of also, with exception of multiple children with multiple women, but he checks the other stereotypical boxes regarding promiscuity and black athletes.

In retrospect, DEVIN has been subliminally referenced in my psychological harassment as far back as 2015 / 2016, while I was still employed at NYC DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION, so we are talking about 8 years of subliminal messaging to remind me of a person from my past with whom I have had multiple negative interactions with. I did not have the whole picture when my harassment started, hindsight is truly 20/20. Noone would know about DEVIN to reference him as part of a sick twisted subliminal mind game unless they were in my personal email, chats, instant messengers. etc because no one at that workplace knew anything about me and him because I did not talk about my personal business like that, except for one person employed their via GOOGLE HANGOUTS, ABDOULAZIZ BARRY, aka BARRY aka AZIZ, someone who I thought was a friend, and I did not even tell him everything, I don't even think I mentioned DEVIN by name, gave him a nick name "El Salvador", if BARRY was an obsessive stalker who was interested in finding out exactly who DEVIN was he probably could have GOOGLED and found out, I would imagine DEVIN might be the only Jamaican man playing basketball in EL SALVADOR, CENTRAL AMERICA, so probably easy to narrow down, if you are that interested in men I have dated in my past, which BARRY should not have been since we were just friends and he was a married man, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything. There are mentally ill people who can develop unhealthy stalkerish controlling interest in you no matter what their marital status is.

People are often quick to say stupid things about women, like we are mad or bitter or still want to be with someone after they have moved on and they are being vindictive or some stupidness like this by speaking on them in an ill fashion after they are no longer together, especially so publicly.

I have never talked about these men or any men I have dated much privately and definitely not publicly, while we were engaged in a relationship and after we were no longer engaged in the relationship so for me to go here there is certainly a reason for me to be talking about these people several years later and it ain't because I want them or feel some kind of way.

I was minding my business living a happily single life in 2015 when this nonsense started happening to me. DEVIN and WILFRED were still acquaintances who I rarely spoke to. I am sick of being psychologically abused with my private and personal information. I am reminded of people from my past I have not had anything to do with romantically since 2007 (WILFRED SHAWN KIRKALDY) and 2011 (DEVIN ELTON THOMPSON), and who basically became acquaintances afterwards, no longer part of my everyday life. DEVIN does not even live in this country as far as I know, since I spoke to him last in 2020. He been living in EL SALVADOR, CENTRAL AMERICA since JULY 2010, with the same women ,ELISSA VELASQUEZ (not entirely sure of spelling of first name, 1 or 2 S, or last name middle S, S or Z?) he has been in a relationship with since I became aware of them in FEBRUARY 2011 via Facebook relationship status and has since become a parent of a cute little girl I met in 2016 when he visited, I think she was around 1 at the time.

I don't care about this man, and I don't want to be constantly reminded of him, him and my experience with him is like a deleted file that I sent to the trash bin. This goes for him and any other person, friend, family member, acquaintance, coworker, ex lover, etc who I have had to cut off because of this harassment.

Our thing was done in MARCH 2011, why am I being bothered with this nonsene by a bunch of people who have no business knowing my personal business to be able to repetitively throw it in my face to re-traumatize and psychologically / subliminally harass me with it. I wished him all the luck in the world with his situation and life because since he talked about this baby thing alot I think he really wanted it and he finally got it, good for you. I am not a hater and people should be able to get the things they want in life as long as they are ethically and morally obtained. It has been time to move on and the fact that I spent so little time with this person and its coming back at me like this to affect my life is assinine and annoying to me. These people need to leave me the hell alone and go develop a life of their own, stay the hell out of my boring past life. Everyday for years these people who harass me on a daily are sick as hell. What kind of adult carries on like this, it makes no sense.

I have been forced to talk about these people, because everyday, multiple times a day I am being psychologically harassed daily by subliminal references to them with the use of various tactics, including the use of doppelgangers, which is probably one of the more disturbing tactics used. This has been going on since 2015 while I was still employed at NYC DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION.

I am only talking about them and others to explain the ways I am being psychologically harassed and the tactics used to abuse and torture me and to tell the truth about my life because its obvious there are lies and half truths being told about me. Also, I am just sick of having my life thrown in my face, as if it is something to do, its insane, leave me alone, that experience has been lived already, NEXT. It's as if whoever is doing this to me will not allow me to live my life beyond the year 2015 / age 39 / post NYC DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION, I am like stuck on stupid. Any future has been destroyed because I have been blacklisted in the workforce and I am being stuck / forced to live in the past like Groundhogs Day or I should say pergutory because most of the people harassing me are religious nuts, and extremists. The people who started harassing me in NYC DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION are also religious.

MEAN GIRLS WHO STARTED THE WORKPLACE MOBBING AT NYC DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION in 2015

NATASHA LIGGINS-MODELO (Head of the mean girls)

TOLANI ADEBOYE (Head of the department I worked in)

KHADIJA DAVIS

This harassment even involves techniques to try to make me forget the truth of my own life and the truth about what has been done to me and accept the lies and projections that are being forced onto me as well everyday for about 8 years. The key to making this well organized and coordinated group stalking, emotional abuse and psychological torture thrive is misinformation, lies, and secrecy. The opposite of this is truth and transparency, I will exercise this as a tactic to counteract the abuse and expose sick people for who they are.

Back to DEVIN, I broke things off with DEVIN and thwarted subsequent efforts made by him (whether they were genuine or not) to rekindle the romantic part of our interaction. I insisted on being platonic friends, so an argument / lie made about me maybe being bitter or wanting him still or feeling some kind of way all these years later makes no damn sense but this is a classic go to when trying to discredit women who speak up about their experiences. I ended things and was minding my business living my life not thinking about him when all this stuff started happening to me. The last time I spoke to him was maybe 2014 and before that it was probably 2 or 3 years before that via electronic messaging.

Also, I have never spoken about WILFRED or DEVIN publicly on the Internet, and most people would never even have known we even knew each other like that or that I even dated them unless they heard it directly from my mouth because I don't do social media and I have never posted anything about anyone I dated on any social media platform prior to me talking about my harassment and naming people, which has only happened in the last couple of years or so, I have been forced to do this because of this harassment.

This is out of my character, I don't want to do it but since someone thought it was ok to hack my personal, private, and confidential information and spread it out into the world for people to use it against me to psychologically torture then I will return the favor partially in kind, except the information I am telling is based in truth and fact, not lies, half truths, defamation and slander. There are a lot of people standing by and standing for people they should not be snd committing civil and criminal offenses against me. It's sad what a patriarchal and religious society we live in. These people bothering me are sick, they are mostly men and boys, but there are some misogynistic women who bother me as well because most of these people on the daily bothering me are religious nuts, mostly of the Muslim faith from Middle Eastern countries. The other big group of people harassing me are Latino, who are known to be religious on the opposing team lol, There is definitely a nutty religious route to this harassment. There may also be a large population of Latinos bothering me because of DEVIN, if he and / or associates of his has anything to do with me being made a target of this harassment, since he lives in CENTRAL AMERICA, and has been for the last decade+.

Also could be because of one of my past sexual partners who is Latino, LUIS MARTINEZ, I think he is Dominican. Additionally, WILFRED, in addition to JAMAICAN lineage, he also has PANAMANIAN lineage. If these people and / or associates of theirs has something to do with this. I am pretty sure this was done to me because of HPV, which leaves past sexual partners as the main suspects, they have a clear motive to make me a target of this if they are ignorant misogynist with no education regarding HPV. I believe HPV and abortion info was illegally accessed and leaked by one of those mean girls (because NATASHA LIGGINS-MODELO, she may also appear to have close links to Latino community, her married name seems to be Latin to me, she was also very friendly with Latino coworkers, especially MICHAEL TORRES, who was involved in my harassment as well) she did not like me because I would not be friends with her) or someone they know in the staff at NYC DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION or NYPD, since these agencies have close ties because of SCHOOL SAFETY and CROSSING GUARDS, both of whom are employed by NYPD. Speaking of this for a brief moment, this is yet another reason why I know the NYPD has its hands all over this. KIRK DOLPHY who in another sexual partner who met my ex-childhood friend / NYPD OFFICER, also knows a lot of NYPD OFFICERS, I believe this is due to the nature of his work at NYC DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION. Also, since 2016, I noticed an increased out of the ordinary presence of police and police vehicles (NYPD and NYS, also Baltimore in one instance when I was walking to the DITMARS BLVD train station in ASTORIA (this is significant because TOLANI ADEBOYE AND ABDOULAZIZ BARRY have ties to the DMV area) being around me when I would travel throughout the city, regular vehicles as well as plain clothed law enforcement in black cars with tinted windows.

As of today you will only see these men, other people, personal information, and my shared experiences with these people on here and Reddit, both platforms I joined specifically to talk about being the TARGET of WORKPLACE MOBBING, and ORGANIZED GROUP STALKING AND HARASSMENT / COINTELPRO / GANGSTALKING / MK ULTRA

DEVIN and I were Facebook friends and communicated sometimes through the instant messenger but I don't think I ever commented on anything on his page and vice versa, nothing that would allude to us being involved in a romantic / sexual relationship. That is the extent of anyone knowing we knew each other via social media. As far as IRL the mutual acquaintance, SHO CLARK, hooked us up, SHO was a friend of my ex-childhood friend / NYPD OFFICER (I had to cut her and her family off due to harassment from some of her family members; this is one of the reasons I know NYPD is written all over this and why I will never get justice, who do I report crime to when the police are facilitating and involved in committing the crimes?).

In attempting to escalate this I filed a complaint with NYS DEPARTMENT OF LABOR, NYC DEPARTMENT OF INVESTIGATIONS, and filed an online complaint with a federal law enforcement agency as well and nothing materialized because law enforcement / government is involved.

This ex-childhood friend / NYPD Officer also knows another man from my romantic past, KIRK DOLPHY, who also works at NYC DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION. When I met KIRK IN JULY 2007, he was working at NYC DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION, I did not start working there till 2014. KIRK also happens to be of Jamaican descent, the only connection he does not have with DEVIN and WILFRED is basketball, but he checks the other 2 boxes of commonality.

Come to think of it, this ex-childhood friend / NYPD OFFICER has JAMAICAN lineage as well on her mothers side. Her step father / half siblings are TRINIDADIAN. This WEST INDIAN LINEAGE, is a constant theme as well, like the religious nuttery. Most of the people I dealt with in my life (friends and romantic partners alike) were of West Indian descent, so that is part of it.

I met KIRK DOLPHY in JULY 2007; when I met him he was employed at NYC DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION. I had introduced ex-childhood friend / NYPD OFFICER to KIRK in person around 2010 I believe, we were hanging tough around this time because I was was unemployed and after I started working in JULY 2010, we were still hanging a bit around our work schedules. I invited her to an afterwork social event KIRK was promoting.

Years later, in 2015 around the time KIRK and I reconnected since I had recently came to work at NYC DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION in late 2014, somehow ex-childhood friend "randomly" met KIRK via a dating app and they were communicating mostly digitally and via phone. Ex-friend / NYPD OFFICER called me to inform me she thinks this guy she met via a dating app is someone I used to date. I confirmed it and I told her she could proceed if she wanted because KIRK and I only ever had a casual sexual relationship so if she wanted to pursue it I gave her my blessing while stating at the same time it might be a bit awkward and weird since we are so close and I just had sex with him like a couple of weeks / month before. She agreed on girl code, made the statement thst we are like sisters and it would be a line she would not want to cross. We all had a good laugh about it and moved on. I think something like this can happen coincidentally, especially in the black community in close proximity looking for professional mates. Black people are a small percentage of the population and if we are in close proximity looking for the same kinds of people, professionals especially, I think its entirely possible for something like this to happen and not be contrived or intentional, but completely random and coincidental, however from the lens of ORGANIZED / COORDINATED GROUP STALKING AND HARASSMENT, nothing is really left to chance, most everything is planned, premeditated, and intentional with the purposes of exerting manipulation and coercive control over the targets life to cause emotional and physical distress. So, in retrospect I don't think KIRK and my ex-childhood friend meeting via a dating app (Tinder I believe) was a coincidence.

A big part of this is to ISOLATE me from not only financial resources but social / emotional support. They could have killed 2 birds with 1 stone by attempting to cause friction between us. Also, since this ex-childhood friend / NYPD OFFICER also knows DEVIN, she could be used as a tool to isolate me from another person in my life.

I am not saying either KIRK or this ex-childhood friend / NYPD OFFICER had something to do with them matching up on this particular dating app but I am not saying the opposite either, maybe one of them did. Its quite possible these two were matched by manipulation of the dating app / their phones, which is some advanced hacking / Internet manipulation that could probably only be done by government, military, and the tech companies that provide Internet services, and tech companies that created and maintain the dating app. Considering, ORGANIZED GROUP STALKING HARASSMENT is goverment sanctioned, I am leaning towards the latter theory. Also, with the goal being in mind of isolating me from as many friends and family as possible it does not seem so far fetched to me.

Another example of personal Internet / email account hacking / manipulation is my Yahoo account was obviously hacked. In the beginning of the HARASSMENT, I had suspicions my personal cell phone had been hacked, but kind of blew them off because it seemed a little ridiculous for snyone to.have interest in me to the point of hacking my phone, plus I would.not think the workplace would have that kind of interest for sure. Noone has any reason to do this unless they are a crazy person with stalker tendencies. Back to my personal Yahoo email.account, Back in JULY 2011, when DEVIN told me he would spit in my face and "f*ck you with an HIV dick" I was thinking this guy is certifiable so I reached out to his cousin MUNIR THOMPSON via email initially, then we had a telephone conversation where I basically told him what DEVIN wrote to me and was inquiring about his mental health and whether I would have to worry about him coming back to harm me in the future. His cousin was apologetic and even expressed that he thought something was off mentally with him. The email exhange we had was tampered with, whereas the responses MUNIR sent to me were deleted, only my email responses were there. This is just one of the reasons of many why I think DEVIN and / or associates of his had something to do with me being made a target of GROUP STALKING and PSYCHOLOGICAL HARASSMENT. It is as if evidence was being erased / tampered with to cover up the truth and anyone who might be able to cooberate actual things that occurred as well as covering up DEVINs mental state making something like what was done to me entirely possibly originating from his actions due to mental instability and cruelty.

People seem to be walking around in a fog, they have no idea what people, entities, the government, law enforcement are doing with their data, especially audio data. I am someone who did not fully engage in social media, therefore logically the majority of the data gathered on me was a combination of all communications on my personal cell ohone, including audio conversations, fraudulent use of government databases, and ILLEGAL SURVEILLANCE and MONITORING. You would not get a glimpse into much of my life or who I was as a person and what I was doing IRL by researching my social media, you would have had no choice but to hack / clone /wiretap my personal cell phone and eventually landline, Internet for not only real time data but historical data as well, that can only be done by law enforcement / governmental entities and corporations that work with governmental agencies. They have access to such resources.

Since this kind of harassment is clearly government sanctioned (what is being done to me is nothing but an offshoot of MK Ultra Cointelpro, FBI / CIA programs, which in public is said to be abolished but obviously is not. A version of this program is being used on private law abiding citizens to silence them / ruin their lives / kill them, conduct psychological and medical experiments on them, etc.)

So, I am not going to go out my way and out of my character to be talking about someone from over 10 years ago on the Internet, when I did not talk about them before, especially in such detail and in such a public space unless I had a good reason too and not for any of the stupid ass reasons people try to say about women. It just does not add up.

Talking about my personal business so publicly is completely out of my character, I have to be compelled to talk about this stuff for a reason, that reason is me being subjected to ORGANIZED GROUP STALKING AND PSYCHOLOGICAL HARASSMENT for about 8 years now and counting. WORKPLACE MOBBING that began in 2015 while I was employed at NYC DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION, which has included subliminal references to DEVIN, WILFRED, and a host of a handful of other people, topics, and life events that have had negative connotations attached including verbal / emotional abuse from both DEVIN and WILFRED.

The main reason I am doing this is because I have been given no choice. The only reason I am talking about DEVIN a DECADE+ after I ENDED our romantic interaction in MARCH 2011 is because he is constantly being referenced in my daily PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE / TORTURE / ORGANIZED STALKING / COMMUNITY HARASSMENT, and WORKPLACE MOBBING (when I was in the workforce) So, naturally awhile ago I started thinking, based on my observation and experience, the analysis of the ongoing harassment juxtaposed with my life prior to and the people from my life, if this person is constantly being referenced in my harassment he and /or associates of his probably did this to me. If not, someone related / associated with or unrelated / not associated with to them with access to / knowledge of all of my personal business (ILLEGALLY OBTAINED) used people and life events that have negativity attached to them to repetitively force these people and events onto me mentally to create a brew of negative emotions in me to intentionally induce emotional distress and physical ailments.

While I am also dealing with all of this while taking care of a relative who is bed ridden and cannot live by themselves. I believe this relative was made sick by intentional medical neglect. When I moved out of Astoria, NY in MAY 2018 to try to get away from the HARASSMENT before I fully understood what had been done to me and that I could not escape by moving to a new apartment or go to a new job. My relative was in good health walking around and enjoying her retirement. About a year after I moved out, my relative went into severe physical decline to the point where she was imobile and sick with multipe ailments, extreme weight loss and medical issues they did not have when I left and was living in a rehabilitation center recovering from a surgery when COVID struck, she was basically being held hostage in there until my sibling, who harasses me as well, hatched a plan to get relative out of the nursing rehabilitation center after surgery.

Attached are some receipts of instant messenger / chat exchanges between myself and DEVIN ELTON THOMPSON, which includes verbal abuses I expressed earlier; him calling me a bitch, telling me he would spit in my face, f*%k me with an HIV dick.

If DEVIN and / or associates of his in fact has something to do with this being done to me and encompassing some of my experiences with him, anyone who is around him and cares about him I urge you go get him mental health. He may be suffering from a personality disorder of a malignant nature, little to no empathy and disregard for human life.

I have not done anything to this man and I don't owe him anything, if he believes this his perception is severely off and he needs to try to work it out with a licensed therapist. If you don't shut this down in some way, if he and / or associates have something to do with making me target of GROUP STALKING, HARASSMENT, PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE AND TORTURE you are enabling him and / or associates to continue this bad behavior against me and anyone else they might want to wage this against. If someone commits offenses against another without repurcussions they are going to have an attitude that they can continue bad behavior and it will most likely escalate, possibly to the point where someone can end up dead because of their actions and because no one held them accountable and got him the mental health care they need.

I don't want anything to do with DEVIN ELTON THOMPSON. I have not been with this man romantically since MARCH 2011. I ended things, wanting only to engage platonically if possible, if not then if we need to not engage I was ok with that too, there was too much drama surrounding him and I did not want to deal with it as I have a right, I saw things pretty quickly and decided to opt out, that should have been the end of the story but somehow 10+ years later I am being stalked and harassed by a bunch of people who insist on psychologically / subliminally bring him up on a daily basis.

I want to be left alone and not constantly reminded of him through this psychological / subliminal harassment, abuse, and torture.

I urge someone around him talk some sense into him, if he has anything to do with this, because the people around me doing the dirty work of daily harassment seems to be doing it because they have received instructions from somewhere and for a purpose they deem is justified. This is bull, I need to be left alone, and whoever is doing this needs to be held accountable, criminally, civilly, as well as the sheeple that have been recruited in my daily harassment, and they need intense mental health care on an ongoing basis.

Because of the life I have lived and the way I have dealt with people in a respectful, open minded manor I know the only person(s) who would do this heinous thing to me is someone off their rocker who has developed some kind of stalkerish interest in me or someone(s) from my personal life, a sexual partner who is extremely ignorant and uneducated about HPV and found out about it through someone ILLEGALLY ACCESSING and LEAKING this info. Whomever instigated this and formed a coalition against me to ruin my life has to fit in one or both of those categories due to the dehumanizing, disrespectful, and heinous nature of the harassment, abuse and torture I have been subjected to since 2015.

My thing is if you were this mad about finding out about the HPV ILLEGALLY (because you did not hear it from mouth; with the exception of WILFRED SHAWN KIRKALDY who I called in 2008 after my diagnosis, which was months after we stopped having sex in JULY 2007), you should have went the legal route and attempted to file a lawsuit against me. Although HPV and HIV are not the same thing as fsr as the prevelance / commonality and transmission, and the fact that HPV is way more common than HIV and condoms won't protect you from contracting HPV etc, etc. you probably knew you would not have had a successful / legitimate case, also you would have had to explain how you obtained this information, which was through ILLEGAL means. A lawsuit probably would not have been successful but a person(s) who is a vindictive person and dead set on revenge from a perceived slight will take any route available to them I suppose, legal or illegal.

The person(s) wanted to publicize my HPV to humiliate, embarass, shame, amongst other things but the only thing they have done here is force me to expose them, their poor mental health, criminal deviance, low character / integrity, ignorance, misogyny, need I go further.... I have nothing to be ashamed, embarrassed, or humiliated about; they however do because of what they have done to me.

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theragethatisdesire · 1 year ago

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this did way too much to my brain so .....AOT boys as seasons ⚘

Eren

eren is so autumn-coded to me

loves sweaters and hoodies, big slouchy layers to combat the morning chill

maybe this is too self-shippy, but i'm obsessed with halloween being his favorite holiday

i hc eren as a HUGE horror fan

like every october he handpicks 31 of his favorite scary movies for an ABC-family style countdown until halloween

buys his daughter a little freddy krueger crewneck to match his

10000% wants to do ghostface roleplay

in college, he loves it because he can get drunk for an entire week with his friends and enjoy all the slutty costume ideas you come up with

as an adult, he goes HARD. like big corny blowups in the front yard, dresses up to hand out candy every year, takes your kids to every single trick or treating event in town

would have way too much fun carving pumpkins. buys like 5 just for himself so he can "test out all my ideas! what if i mess one up? i need a spare!"

drags you to haunted houses, hay rides, any sort of fall activity because he just loves it

Jean

y'all disappointed me on my cruel summer poll bc jean is a summer baby through and through

worked as a lifeguard every summer in high school and made some of the best memories of his life

secretly obsessed with the mamma mia soundtrack because it "sounds like summer"

loves to host a cookout. like, demands all of your friends make themselves free every sunday night to come over because he's strapping on his "kiss the chef" apron and grilling out

swears it isn't his favorite season just because you're wearing barely any clothes for 4 months. he has other reasons he just......can't always remember them when you're laying out in a bikini

totally buys a giant waterslide and leaves it in the backyard all summer for the neighborhood kids

jean's a big concert guy. his happy place is at an outdoor cover band concert in mid-july with an ice cold beer and your hand locked in his <3

life goal is to save enough money for a summer home so his kids can create summer memories in a special little town on the coast

Reiner

winter baby. such a winter baby.

not religious, but his favorite holiday is christmas. he loves all the pretty decorations, the music, and picking gifts for all of his loved ones

actually a damn good gift wrapper, like he's got you beat

1000000% dresses up as santa every year for the neighborhood kids and invites them all over to meet santa on christmas eve. like come hell or high water, he's putting that damn suit on and getting the kids on his lap

has to live somewhere it snows so he can build snowmen and sled with his kids

loves NYE too, the thought of a fresh start every 365 days is appealing to him

he loves all the opportunities he has to spoil you and show you how loved you are (christmas, valentine's, etc)

favorite movie is rudolph, he annoys the shit out of you every day humming it under his breath

always wants to host christmas eve dinner, like a massive party with all of your friends and family and eventually the kiddos, even goes so far as to convince everyone to sleep over and leave the santa presents under your tree for the kids in the morning this happens so regularly that all your friends' kids are convinced that "santa only comes to uncle reiner's house!!" nothing makes reiner happier than a full house on christmas morning <3 <3 <3

THANK YOU SO MUCH OP FOR LETTING ME BRAIN ROT UNDER UR POST like such a wonderful prompt :)

What season would you describe your relationship with your fav/s as?

#eren jaeger headcanons #eren jeager headcanons #jean kirschstein headcanons #jean kirstein headcanons #reiner braun headcanons #reiner headcanons #eren headcanons #jean headcanons #eren x reader #jean x reader #reiner x reader #aot headcanons #snk headcanons

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bracefacefreak · 3 years ago

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This is for @who-needs-words, who asked for a look at my timeline for Oliver Banks and Graham Folger. Sorry it’s a bit late, but I hope you enjoy it.

Please note, this is absolutely based on my own hcs and while I have tried to fit it around the dates/events that we are given in tma canon, I have had to tweak and change things a little to make it all fit and make sense. Therefore none of this is canon, it’s just my own ideas and imagination and what made sense to me. So here goes.

Late 2000 - Oliver Banks and Graham Folger meet in Oxford and start dating. Oliver is working after having left his degree programme (he completed his first year in economics and was a high-achieving student, but left due to issues of racism in the department.) Graham has just started studying for a PhD.

Early 2001 - Graham first spots the web-table in a second-hand store in Oxford. He is intrigued but does not purchase it. He shows it to Oliver, who hates the table on sight, although he can’t explain why.

Aug 2001 - Graham’s parents die in a car crash. (*MAG 3*)

Late 2001 - Graham suddenly leaves his PhD programme. Around this time he also goes back to purchase the web-table.

Jan 2002 - Graham leaves Oxford and moves into his parent’s flat in London. The web-table goes into storage, while Graham hopes to research it and figure out how it can be restored.

He and Oliver continue their relationship, meeting up on weekends and their days off.

Mid 2002 - Graham begins to take night classes as an attempt to entertain himself and to try and meet new people, much to Oliver’s relief.

2003 - Graham’s mood improves and he begins to feel better, although he sometimes feels like he is being followed. Oliver and him are going steady.

Late 2004 - Graham persuades Oliver to consider going back to finish his undergraduate degree. Oliver applies to a number of universities, mostly in and around London.

July 2005 - While getting the flat ready for Oliver’s arrival, Graham goes through the things he has in storage and comes across the web-table. He has it moved into the flat.

Aug 2005 - Oliver moves in with Graham after being accepted to study economics at the LSE (*MAG 11 - I lived in London for almost a decade now*). He is granted permission to begin from the second year due to his previous study (*yeah I know it’s not the most believable, but the LSE do let you do this - I checked, and it’s the best way to get the dates to work properly.*)

Sept 2005 - Oliver begins studying at the LSE. Graham is quickly becoming obsessed with researching and restoring the web-table, spending great amounts of time and money on it, which begins to put strain on his relationship with Oliver.

Oct 2005 - Oliver and Graham argue about the web-table. Graham refuses to move it/get rid of it.

Dec 2005 - Graham has his first close-encounter with the Not-Them and realises that something is coming for him. He becomes more and more paranoid. Oliver tries to help, but whatever he does only seems to make things worse.

Early Jan 2006 - before Amy Patel gets concussed outside Graham’s flat - Oliver decides to move out to give Graham some space in the hopes it will save their relationship. It’s not long before Graham realises that not having another person around makes him more vulnerable, but he is also unwilling to ask Oliver back in case it puts him at risk.

Late Jan 2006 - Amy Patel is attacked outside Graham’s flat (*MAG 3*)

April 2006 - Graham is killed and replaced by the Not-Them (*MAG 3*)

Mid 2006 - Oliver moves back in with Not-Graham over the summer break, and is glad to see his boyfriend is no longer paranoid. Oliver completes an intern programme at Barclays.

Late 2006 - Oliver and Not-Graham’s relationship is struggling. Oliver can’t place what it is exactly, but something just feels off.

June 2007 - Oliver graduates and ends up with a job at Barclays in the City. (*MAG 11*)

Aug 2007 - (*MAG 3 post statement notes - I’m taking a bit of a liberty with ‘early 2007′ I know, but this just fits better*) Oliver and Not-Graham’s relationship breaks down completely and Oliver moves out of the apartment. His mental health begins to deteriorate.

Early 2008 - Oliver has a dramatic and very public breakdown due to stress and is forced to leave his job. He can no longer afford the small flat he’s been renting on his own and so he ends up sofa-surfing. (*Again, in MAG 11 he does say he barely made a year, but again it just didn’t fit quite well enough to match with the whole death-dreams for nearly 8 years - also this way he still sees the new year with the company which maybe could count??*)

He begins to have dreams that predict others deaths.

Dec 2014 - Oliver has a dream where he sees his father. His father passes away 10 days later. (*MAG11*)

March 2015 - Oliver has a dream involving Gertrude Robinson and the Magnus Institute, two days later he goes to make a statement. (*MAG 11*)

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lilliagradiewrites · 4 years ago

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evermore (jj maybank)

Summary: Y/N is in a depressive state, but refuses to tell her boyfriend. After she walks out on a party, JJ realizes that something is off, and rushes to comfort her.

*based off of the song “evermore” from Taylor Swift’s new album!!

WC: 2.2k

WARNINGS: Mentions of depression/ symptoms of depression, mentions of anxiety & panic attacks, mentions of suicide/ death. (The reader is at a very low point during this. Please proceed with caution of mentions of depression triggers you.)

A/N: Hey my lovelies! I have a new piece for you. This is a one- shot, and is on the shorter side. If you don’t know, Taylor Swift released a new album on the 11th. I have been so obsessed with it, and one of my favorites from the record is the title track “evermore.” I knew i had to write something based off of that song! This is inspired by that song, and I encourage you to listen to it while you read.

Much love to you all, and happy holidays! I hope you enjoy!!

LET’S DO IT!

~~~~~~

The night was cold as you walked quietly down the street, the old cardigan your best friend gave you wrapped tightly around your shoulders. You weren’t dressed for the mid-october weather, your shorts and tank tops providing little warmth on your shivering body. As much as you hated the cold, it felt good to feel something again.

November was approaching quickly, and as you walked down the street that cold october night, you realized that you hadn’t had a true spark of happiness since that July. Of course, there were moments of joy, but it was never consistent, and lasted a day at the most.

You couldn’t seem to pinpoint the exact moment where everything went wrong, no matter how many times you’d tried. Countless times, you’d retraced your footsteps to find the moment your despair began. Unfortunately, this only resulted in distant memories from better times becoming fresh in your mind, pushing you deeper into the dark hole you were trapped in.

For a while, no one noticed a difference. Your group of friends, whom you adored, didn’t bat an eye when you left a party early because you were ‘tired’ or ‘not in the mood’, despite the fact that you loved parties. It hurt a little that they didn’t see a problem, and that only made the problem worse.

The first person to notice was JJ, your loving boyfriend. The blonde boy was the light of your life, but as your own issues began to overtake you, you found yourself pushing him away unintentionally. He would send texts, asking you to come over and see him. He'd invite you to come out to dinner with the pogues at The Wreck. He’d beg for your permission to show up at your house because he missed you so damn much.

Time after time, you replied with perfectly crafted excuses that left him concerned, but with no questions. That’s all you needed to accomplish, really. If he didn’t ask any questions, then you’d be fine.

The routine was working out pretty well for you in the beginning. JJ and the rest of the group would accept your excuses and go along with what you told them, even if they found it slightly suspicious.

But, after a while, your constant absence finally hit them. It was concerning, especially when it came to someone like you. Your parents weren’t strict, so it wasn’t an obedience thing. You loved parties, and were quite social, so it wasn’t a social anxiety thing. They wondered at their hangouts what could be wrong, but none of them could come up with a viable explanation.

Texts from your friends were lighting up your phone at a constant rate, but you trained yourself to ignore them. Your mind had convinced you that all of them hated you, and were only messaging you as a joke, or because they felt bad.

Though your brain tried to tell itself that JJ didn’t love you either, you were fighting hard against that idea. Even the slightest notion of your boyfriend no longer being interested in you broke you down into tears, so you tried to allow the thought to cross your mind as little as possible.

He texted you every day, asking if you were okay and trying to make plans. He texted you good morning, and goodnight, as well as a few other times throughout the day. He was a wonderful boyfriend, and you appreciated him, but you didn’t have the energy to show him the attention he deserved. You texted back for a while, but eventually gave up, leaving him on read almost every single time.

For the last few weeks, JJ had been broken up with worry. He worried that you were mad at him, that you hated him. He worried that you were leaving him. So, he showed up at your house.

As soon as he walked in your room, he could tell that something was incredibly off. You were normally a somewhat neat person, but your room was in complete disarray. Clothes littered the floor, empty plates and half-eaten bags of chips tossed absentmindedly to various locations.

And you. You looked like you hadn’t changed or bathed in weeks. Your hair was messy, and your face looked as if you’d been crying for years.

When you saw his face, your mask slipped on without a second thought.

“JJ! Hi, babes!”

“Hi, angel.” He replied, concern evident in his voice as he spoke. “I haven’t really seen you in forever. Are you okay?”

You nodded immediately, concealing your true feelings. “I’m okay. I’ve been taking up extra shifts at work because I need money for college soon. I’m trying to save up early. I’ve been so busy and exhausted, I just haven’t had the time or energy to see anybody.”

Lie. You got fired from your job a month ago because you called out ‘sick’ too many times.

JJ was still suspicious, but went accepted your story just as he had many times before.

“Alright, babe. I just miss you a lot. Take a break soon. Are you working tonight?”

“No.” You couldn’t bring yourself to lie to him again.

“Well, then, you’re coming to hang out.”

You shook your head quickly, pulling your hands away from his. “No thanks, JJ. I had a late shift last night and I’m exhausted. Plus, I have an early shift tomorrow morning, and I refuse to go in hungover.”

JJ took your hands back into his, meeting your eyes. “You don’t have to stay late, and you don’t have to drink. Just come for a little bit. Like, literally for an hour. We all just miss you so much.”

When he was looking into your eyes like that, you couldn’t help but say yes. Though you knew you’d come to regret it, the smile on his face after you agreed made it all seem worth it at the time.

“Yes! Okay, my love, I have to go deliver some stuff for Pope’s dad. The party starts at ten, so I’ll pick you up at nine-thirty.”

You didn’t say anything, simply nodding to indicate that you’d heard him and understood what he said.

“Bye, baby. I’ll see you tonight. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” It was barely a whisper, but it seemed to be enough for JJ. He gave you one final wave before exiting your bedroom and closing the door in his wake.

When he had gone, your anxiety began to cover you. You had come to hate gatherings and parties, despite the fact that they used to be your main source of happiness and excitement. How were you going to make it through this party?

Sighing, you turned to your bedside table, moving around empty cups to peer at the time on your alarm clock. It was hard to read due to the tears in your eyes blurring your vision slightly. After a moment, you were able to decipher the numbers on the screen. 8:06 PM. You had approximately an hour and half to get ready before your boyfriend would be there to pick you up.

The first half hour, you decided, would be used for praying you were able to make it through this night.

---

About 70 minutes after your boyfriend’s visit, the clock on your bedside table read 9:12 PM. You sat at your vanity, brushing on small amounts of makeup. You didn’t want anything too crazy like you used to do; it just didn’t feel right anymore.

The same thing applied to your outfit. After almost an hour of trying things on, you went for something simple. A sage green tank top, your favorite blue jean shorts, and a basic oversized white cardigan kie had given you. The outfit was basic, but cute nonetheless. You completed the look with your pair of slip-on vans that were so beat up they could barely be classified as white anymore.

Your hair, which you normally would curl or style for parties, had been brushed through and left down. That was all you had the energy for. The party hadn’t even started yet, and you were already exhausted.

At least you had showered. It had been over a week since you last bathed, and this party gave you incentive to take care of yourself. That’s the only thing you were grateful for when it came to this party.

As you finished getting ready, you promised yourself that you would try your best to enjoy the night.

JJ had come to pick you up as he told you he would, at nine-thirty on the dot. He was always careful to be very punctual when it comes to you. He said you looked pretty when you got in his car, and the small compliment warmed your heart significantly.

The party was smaller than your normal ones. The pogues were all there, and they were all happy to finally see you again. You greeted them kindly and took your seat beside JJ, wanting to make the night go by as quickly as possible. You had hardly even arrived and you were already anxious.

As the night went by, your anxiety only got worse. You began to zone out, not paying attention to the conversation. You snapped back to reality when the whole group laughed at some joke someone told, and you just chuckled nervously along, hoping nobody noticed you weren’t being attentive.

A few hours went by, slowly but surely, and you decided that you had to be done for the night. You had been on the brink of a panic attack for the last hour, and it was getting harder to fight it off.

“Alright, guys, I’m tired. I’m probably gonna head home. I’ll see y’all later.” You announced, standing up from your seat. Immediately, JJ stood up with you, leaning into your ear.

“I’m too drunk to drive, babe. Do you think you can wait a little longer for me to sober up?”

You shook your head lightly, pushing him away. “No, it’s ok, babes. I’m just gonna walk. I don’t want to pull you away from the party anyways.”

A look of concern took over the blonde’s face. “I don’t like that. You can’t walk by yourself at night, it’s not safe.”

“I’ll be fine, J.” You assured him. “I live, like, a five minute walk away from here. We’re super close to my house. It’ll be okay.”

JJ continued to insist that you wait, but you insisted on leaving. You reassured him multiple times that you’d be alright, kissed him, grabbed your cardigan and left.

That’s how you ended up in your current position, sobbing into your cardigan sleeve as the night grew colder and colder. You were still walking along the road to your house.

You hadn’t realized how cold it was when you left. Maybe it’s because you;d been sitting up against JJ, his body heat mixing with yours to help keep the both of you warm. Now, you were all alone, with nothing but your thin cardigan to protect you from the chill of october night.

As you walked, and cried, you wondered what it would be like to just stop breathing.

Your thoughts were halted by the sound of footsteps pounding the pavement behind you. Immediately, you tensed up, suddenly scared. Who was running on the streets late at night, besides her? Who had a reason, other than kidnapping or killing someone?

You turned slowly around, and your body relaxed as you realized you recognized the person barreling towards you.

A familiar blonde boy was running in your direction, seemingly desperate to catch up with you. You stopped walking, giving him time to meet you.

“JJ?” You were talking as soon as he was close enough to hear. “What are you doing, babe? You’re supposed to be at the party.”

“I’m walking you home. I’ll go back once I know you’re safe.” He explained. He looked almost triumphant at the fact that he’d caught up with you, but his expression changed to one of concern after he got a good look at your face.

“Y/N… have you been crying?”

You shook your head, almost in instinct, but he saw right through you.

“Yes, you have. Baby, what’s wrong? Did one of us say something? What happened?”

As you looked in his eyes, those beautiful blue orbs as rocky and deep as the ocean, you felt your mask begin to slip.

“I’m not okay, J. I haven’t been for a long time.” Your voice cracked as you spoke, and the tears came almost immediately after you’d finished.

JJ took you into his arms and held you close, and for a moment, the two of you just stood there on the side of the road.

JJ let you sob for a little while, just holding you and murmuring sweet words to you. Eventually, he pulled away and looked directly into your eyes.

“I’m here for you, okay? We’ll get through this, my love. I don’t know exactly what’s going on yet, but we’ll figure it out. Together. I promise. I love you so much, Y/N. So fucking much.”

He pulled you back into his chest, and in that moment, it dawned on you.

This wasn’t the end. This pain wouldn’t last for evermore. It would pass, and JJ would be there with you when it did.

So, for the first time in a while, you finally felt okay.

~~~~

A/N: Thank you so much for reading! Reblogs are super helpful and super appreciated. LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!

Happy holidays! - Lillia

#jj maybank #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank fanfiction #outer banks #outer banks fanfiction #jj maybank fanfic #outer banks fanfic #jj maybank one shot #jj maybank angst

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thekingofspin · 3 months ago

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#has this become a problem yet?#i only started obsessing over him mid july...#hugh jackman #huge ackman #wolverine #logan howlett #xmen #eddie alden #someone like you #australia #stanley jobson #swordfish #im watching swordfish currently and ill be watching Australia tomorrow

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one-boring-person · 4 years ago

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If your still doing requests can you do a poly lost boys where there pretty much obsessed with the reader but she doesn’t want anything to do with them so they have to use there mind tricks on her please.

I'm sorry that this is so short, but I was a bit stuck for ideas 😅 I hope you like it, anyway!😊💛

Evening, Kitten.

The Lost Boys x reader

Warnings: mind control (I guess?)

Masterlist

Thankfully, the Boardwalk isn't quite as busy as normal tonight, the popular attraction strangely empty and void of many people. A few roam the stretch, but most amble idly away from the usually heaving areas, the energy of the place distinctly lower than normal, for no apparent reason. As I walk down it, I try to think why it would be so empty, but nothing comes up, my mind too focused on getting where I need to - the video store.

It's surprisingly cold for a night in mid-July, a cool wind blowing around me as I hastily pull my jacket tighter around my shivering body, biting my lip against the uncomfortable chill. Mentally, I curse myself for going out tonight: i could've waited for a better night, but I was too impatient for my own good, so now I'm here, trekking halfway across town to get a movie I probably won't even like. My friends had recommended it to me, some vampire flick they had been raving about for weeks. I'd been sceptical, but they wouldn't let it alone, so I eventually gave in and promised to get hold of a copy, leading me to the Boardwalk on this cold night.

Harsh motorcycle engines roar at me suddenly, breaking me from my thoughts as four annoyingly familiar figures pull up beside me. Frowning, I try to ignore them, only for them to follow after me on their bikes, the sound quickly becoming irritating, a burst of frustration flooding through me as I reluctantly turn to face then. Instantly, the platinum blonde leader, David he had once introduced himself as, smirks and pulls to a halt, the others following suit.

"Evening, kitten. How's it going?" David greets me, eyeing me over as he speaks.

"Worse now that you showed up." I retort, unimpressed by the nickname.

"Aw come on, that's not nice." The tall blonde, Paul, pouts, blue eyes filled with playful teasing, "We aren't that bad!"

I scoff, turning away from them again.

"I beg to differ." I murmur, starting to walk away.

"Hey! Where are you going?" Another of them, Marko, calls after me, his grin almost audible in his voice.

"None of your business!" I snap back, rolling my eyes in exasperation.

Just as I say this, however, an odd feeling starts up in my head, a nagging sense of need to turn back starting to chew at my patience. Shaking it off, I keep on going, a familiar sense of repulsion towards the four bikers accompanying the strange urge to return to them. Behind me, I can already hear them sniggering about me, the knowledge of which makes my jaw clench in anger.

Choosing to brush off the encounter and the new feeling, I carry on to the video store, starting to look around for the movie I'm here for. It doesn't take me long to find, but I still take some time, choosing to investigate some of the other flicks on offer as I do so; i find myself distracted, however, my head continuously returning to thoughts of the bikers I hate so much. Never before have I dwelt on an encounter with them, but for whatever reason I can't seem to get them out of my head tonight. Every corner I turn, I see either David or Dwayne browsing the collection of action movies, only for them to turn into unrecognizable people as I go closer, Paul and Marko almost always appearing near where I need to be, both giggling and grinning broadly. Shaking my head, I have to fight off the urge to snap at someone, feeling my irritation steadily growing, until something changes.

All of a sudden, I've forgotten why I hate them so much, and I start to look for them around the shop, curious as to where they are, wanting to find and talk to them. The movie in my hand is soon forgotten completely, and I put it back on a random shelf, striding out of the store to go find the boys, my head telling me too even though my heart is willing me to stop. Something is off about this, but I can't help it: I have to go to them. I have to be one of them.

Somewhere inside my head, alarm bells are going off, the sane part of my brain screaming at me to stop and go back, telling me that something is very wrong about this, even as I step past the sparse people around. Everytime my common sense starts to creep back in, however, something pushes it back down again, and I feel a renewed sense of needing to be with them. It doesn't take me long to find them, and I'm quick to run over to them, vaguely realising how stupid I must look.

"Hey there, Kitten. What's got you in such a rush?" David drawls, smirking knowingly at me.

"I...I don't know..?" Is all I manage to respond with, my worldly intelligence completely leaving me now as I try to figure out just why I've run over to the four people I hate the most.

"You don't know? How's that?" Dwayne grins from his position beside David, dark hair falling into his face.

"I…"

"Aw, she's speechless! How cute!" Paul giggles, coming closer and slinging an arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his body. Normally, I'd instantly push away from him and slap him for being inappropriate, but tonight? For whatever reason, I find myself leaning into him.

"And she wants a cuddle? That's very cute." Marko teases, lifting a hand to run it over the tips of my hair, smirking at me.

"Now, now boys. Let's not make it uncomfortable." David interjects, gesturing for Paul to pass me to him, which I allow him to do, despite the unwillingness in my head. It's a horrible feeling, my body not listening to me in any way, doing what something else wants it to do, and I have no idea where it came from, but the nagging sensation in my head is now much more prominent.

It takes me a moment, but eventually I figure out who's voice it is telling me to obey what the boys are saying: it's David's. Somehow, I can hear his voice in my head, telling me exactly what to do in a way that is clearly non-negotiable, the use of which sparks up my temper, but also induces a sense of...desire? What?

"Come on, wanna come with us back to our place?" David offers me, smirking profusely as he watches me mentally struggle.

"Yes please." I say, somewhat against my will - a part of me has always been curious as to where these boys live.

"Ok, hold on tight." The platinum blonde grins, waiting for me to climb onto his motorcycle behind him.

Still unsure of what I'm doing, i do so, holding onto his waist as he starts up the vehicle.

#the lost boys #david the lost boys #the lost boys paul #dwayne (the lost boys)#marko the lost boys

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seulgiology · 5 years ago

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that’s my type | jeon jungkook

pairings: fwb!jungkook x fwb!female oc

words: 3k

genre: SMUT with an “i love you” at the end , uwu

warnings: cursing, praise, dirty talk, thigh fucking, pet names, choking, a widdle exhibition, a lil pussy spank, ass slapping, piercings, tattoos (are those warnings?? idk), oc loves to mess with kookie lol save him

a/n: GIF IS NOT MINE! sad yer. admin 1 is sadly alive. HERE’S A REQUESTED JUNGKOOK SMUT, I TRIED MY BEST PLZ ACCEPT MY OFFERING TO YOU @itboykook . Also, i just randomly put two names together, so if by any chance that it relates to an actual idol IM SORRY. anygays, being a student is hard and online school is a lot :))), sorry for my inactivity.

disclaimer: This is a work of fiction from our imagination. It is not intended that the plot, theme, original characters, idols, etc. portray any real-life events/people. Plagiarism is NOT tolerated on this blog. If you believe we have copied an existing authors’ work, please message us privately. thank you and enjoy :)

Mid July - 12:03 p.m.

Jungkook fit right in with the rest of you, his quiet, odd, yet lovable personality was enticing and it didn’t fall short from the other 6 guys.

He was the newest and the youngest out of your friend group, only a junior in college. His adorable teeth whenever he smiled that contrasted with his toned body was so attractive and he knew it too. He nearly rivaled Jimin when it came to visual duality.

You all were on one of the campus’ fields, enjoying a rare afternoon of no classes on your spread blanket. You and Hoseok were trying to play a makeshift game of basketball in the field with a random volley ball lying around and your jacket in a circle as the “hoop.”

You were both dying of laughter from your failed attempts at playing defense and rolling in the grass like a couple of kids on a sugar rush.

Jungkook was next to Taehyung listening to brief him on everything about you, from your flat feet to your unconventional love for Tom Holland. He was sitting comfortably on the blanket, hands resting behind his back as he watched you and... What was his name? Hobi? He’ll remember later.

He couldn’t see you too clearly but he knew you were having fun after hearing your bubbly laughter from the distance. You didn’t seem to be coming over towards the others anytime soon so he thought he’d rest his head on Jimin’s plush lap and rest his eyes for a bit, letting the spring sun beat down on his face.

“Don’t you come over here with all that grass on you, Mae, you don’t know whose child was in there pissing.”

Jungkook’s eyes snapped open, and he hissed out at the suns rays blinding him. He lazily shifted towards the direction of the noise and heard Seokjin— Jin grumble to you two.

You were in the middle of rubbing the loose grass off your jeans when you could feel someone’s stare on you.

Jungkook shamelessly drank in your figure, loving the way your ripped jeans hugged your thick thighs. He could only dream of burying his face in between them and leaving hickies. You were slightly bent over in front of him trying to wipe the dirt off of you, but he had a great view of your full and round ass trapped inside the denim.

Is this what it feels like to look at an angel? Jungkook didn't know what to believe anymore after being graced with your existence. Did he want to worship your body, make you laugh, hold your hand? Or something more? The blood rushed to his center the longer he kept his gaze on you and letting his thoughts take a sexual turn.

You didn’t catch him practically eye-fucking you, but when you looked up and around, you did see him blushing and hastily putting his bag on his lap.

He must be a shy guy. Yet his whole presence makes you want to shut up and be a good girl for him. He was only laying down with his arm propped up for support, and his short black hair was flowing in the wind, making him look goofy with such a concentrating look on his face.

He pretended to be searching in his bag for something as his heart raced when he saw your shadow coming towards him. He tasted the saliva pooling in his mouth at the sight of you towering over him, your nose and ear piercings glinting in the sunlight.

“I’m Maerin, the only reasonable one here. You are?” You carefully reached your hand out for him to shake with a charming grin on your face, amazed that your friend group just continues to add more attractive men to your circle.

“Jungkook, the other reasonable one here.” You laughed at his statement and his adorable nose scrunched when he smiled with you. You took the vacant seat next to him, and his sight was glued to your physique on your descent, entranced by the minimalistic ink on your arm.

Could you get anymore perfect? Perfect face. Perfect ass. Perfect thighs. Perfect body. Perfect personality most likely. HIs mind raced with thoughts of only you as soon as he took your much smaller hand in his in a firm shake.

He was going to have you one way or another. And that’s a promise he kept. Sort of.

Early December - 11:46 a.m.

Those god-awful finals had just ended for you guys and it was time for winter break. It was decided that you all would put in money to go to a ski resort for the break, needing the stress reliever and rest.

And get rid of stress was exactly what you did.

“Fuck, you really don’t know what you do to me,” His hand tightened around your neck in the most pleasurable way, and you were hazy from the dream-like steam the shower was bringing.

He had you pinned against him, his arms held you tightly in place as he thrusted in between your thighs, only sliding his cock against your slick womanhood. You hated not being able to feel him inside you, but he was in heaven when he had you like this.

Jungkook’s reasonably unreasonable obsession with your ass and thighs played a great part in your friends with benefit arrangement.

“This is all mine, sweetness,” He grunted in your ear, and all you could do was gasp in response. His wet and wavy locks draped over your shoulder as he sped up his pace, leaving you devoid of any type of release as your thighs tightened around his cock sliding in between them.

“Jungkook-” You whined to him, upset that he was using you to get himself off. He payed you no mind however, his thrusts speeding up as the unrhythmic slide of his cock in between your folds meant he was going to cum soon.

"You wanna cum pretty girl? Wanna feel me stuff you so full you won’t remember anything but me?” He moaned in your ear at the thought, torturing himself as much as he was torturing you.

You let out a pathetic but audible yes that you knew had his dimple popping from the grin that adorned his face. You yelped when he manhandled you against the wall and pushed your back down so your ass was to his front. You turned around to see him desperately pumping himself in his hand and his lips slightly parted. The sight had your arousal trailing down your legs along with the water and you licked you lips at his hard cock in his hand.

He pumped his load on your cheeks that were spread for him and he watched it get rinsed away as quickly as it came with the water.

Your body was still on edge when you felt Jungkook rise you up and back hugged you so tenderly, you were ready to fall asleep in his arms at the safety they welcomed. He chuckled in your ear at your languid body and held you tighter. “If you fall asleep you won’t get your reward for being good for me,” his voice was so sweet and you. Why isn’t he your boyfriend again?

“Mmm, really?” You questioned him in a sultry tone, wanting to get him riled up again. You grinded your ass on his hardening manhood and you loved the way he grabbed a handful of it and rolled his hips on you.

“Jungkook, you in there?” You both froze in panic upon hearing Namjoon over the white noise. Jungkook’s finger tips stopped their descent down your stomach and lightly dug in. Shit, fuck, fuck fuck, shit-

“Yea hyung, I’m in the shower, what’s up?” His voice was unusually shaky to the older man, but he brushed his overanalyzing to the side. “Have you seen Maerin? She said she was looking for you but she disappeared.”

Your heart pounded to the speed the water was hitting you. Namjoon wasn’t stupid, he’d probably figure you guys out, if he didnt already.

Jungkook frowned at you in confusion and you shrugged back at him, your face heating up at the excuse you told the others men to just come see your fuck buddy.

“She told me to meet the rest of you in the lobby but I wanted to take a shower before leaving. Um... I think she went to get more food before they closed the breakfast buffet.” He lied smoothly, and you sighed in relief and let your grip on hi arm drop.

THUNK!

Namjoon jumped after hearing the load thump and an extremely familiar feminine squeak from the bathroom.

Wait.

Was that Maer—

“Sorry hyung, the soap fell on my foot when I tried reaching for it! I’ll be out soon, don’t wait for me.” He replied in a haste after turning the shower off and giving you a hard look. After hearing the room door close, your body chilled beyond return and your nipples hardened in anticipation.

“You think this is a game, huh?” He tilted your chin up with his cold finger tips and glared at your smirking face.

This was most definitely a game you wanted to play.

—

Late December - 1:30 p.m.

“Who brought the liquor, im trying to get wasted tonight.”

“Jimin, we’re watching Stranger Things.”

“Ok— so where’s the liquor...?”

You smile to yourself at hearing your friends’ conversation, they never fail to amuse you. You were in the kitchen, trying to get popcorn ready for all 8 of you to watch the supernatural show in Jungkook’s apartment.

You leaned on the counter in front of the microwave and listened to its humming as the bag of popcorn started to slowly inflate.

“The guys are here and you have your ass all out like this?” A silent groan left your lips and arousal pooled in between your legs when Jungkook grinded his hips into your ass and grabbed a handful of it.

Your friend group had no idea that you were fucking each other for about 2 months now. It felt wrong to be sexually attracted to each other, especially because you were friends. So you both didn’t want a bad reaction if you told the others.

“Jungkook, someone’s going to walk in—” But you ignored your own words and instead rubbed against him more. You were breathing softly but heavily when you let him cup your cunt through your leggings. He loved it when you wore leggings, it always left little to his imagination when he wanted to guffaw at your legs.

The microwave beeped loudly and it startled the young man behind you into jumping back in fright. Jungkook swallowed hard at hearing your snickering and in a haste, left the kitchen and into the noisy living room instead. He was hard under his sweats, and hated how uncomfortable he was because did it.

They were all seated and prepared to binge watch the latest season of the popular American show when you crept out with two large bowls of kettle corn popcorn.

After they graciously thanked you, you took the obvious seat next to Jungkook on the loveseat. The others expected this, they knew you two were closer than ever. He threw the fuzzy blanket over you both as you cuddled close to the arm chair and put your feet on the other side of his thighs.

Your knees were bent up because you couldn’t fully extend your legs, and it was the perfect position for him to touch you in. He turned to gaze at you under his dark and curly fringe and his earring dangle from the movement.

He discreetly leaned in and whispered, “I dare you to try something while they’re here. Watch what’s going to happen.” The eerie theme song of the show began and you knew for a fact you weren’t going to pay attention.

You’ve seen the legendary show already. So instead you’d mess with the man directly in front of you.

So for eight long hours you you teased him under the blankets; Rubbing his length with your feet, edging him and never letting succumb to the unusual pleasure. It was exciting to see him sweat while all of your close friends were so close to you yet too engrossed in the T.V. set to notice.

Just as your group was piling out and saying their goodbyes, you suggested that you stay to help the maknae clean. it was late and everybody would be busy the next day but you.

And Jungkook wasn’t going to let you go that easy.

9:54 p.m. [same night]

Your damp forehead was pressed into soft cushion and your hands clutching the closest pillow on the couch as you were hopelessly whimpering for more.

Jungkook wasted no time in having you ass up, head down with his wet tongue abusing your cunt and giving you a taste of your own medicine.

“You really must think this shit is funny, baby” He said, basking in the taste of your arousal. You whined when he lightly slapped your clit, your hips involuntarily pushing back for more and he arrogantly chuckled at your neediness.

“I asked you a question and I expect you to answer it.” His voice was gruff when his hard and angry cock slapped against your swollen lips, the slickness of it making it an obscene noise.

“Only if you fuck me first.” You breathlessly said to him and wiggled your ass to draw him in even more. His hooded eyes caught the sight and he moistened his thin lips, loving they way your bottom moved.

You both sighed in relief when he finally pushed in, the initial sting always catching you by surprise, no matter how many times he’s done it.

“Shit, you always take me so well Mae,” He pumps faster, his hips snapping into yours and you cry out from the intensity of it. Your clit throbbed from your fingers circling around it, and your moans were purely sinful. Jungkook loved seeing you like this.

Back arched and your pussy clenching around his length. The way your ass bounced against his hips whenever he thrusted into you. Fuck. His hand came down hard on your already stinging before grabbing them and drilling into you impossibly quicker than before.

“Please don’t stop!” You cried out, living for the way his dick filled you so fucking full until you you were seeing white. “Look at you pretty girl. You’re such a brat and all I do is fuck you and give you what you want.” He grunted in your ear and kissed right below it, hearing the dangling sounds of your own earrings.

“Ohhh, Jungkook I’m so close,” He huffed before carefully flipped you over and fucked you with vigor, your toes curling and an amazing sensation rushing through you. “Come on sweetness, you’re almost there.” He placed your legs over his shoulder and gripped your delicious thighs so tight, this wouldn’t be the first time you’d see hand prints there tomorrow.

His forehead was pressed against yours as he watched his dick push in and out of your sopping cunt, your cries egging him on to spill inside of you without hesitation.

The feeling in your lower stomach was becoming uncomfortably persistent and with one final rare moan of your name his hips stuttered sloppily and he filled you with his seed to the brim. Your body spasmed around him and your mantra of his name didn’t even let up after you came.

When you finally came down from your high, your eyes cleared to see the sweaty boy slumped against you, body spent from putting his all into this session.

He peppered kisses along your collarbones and softly massaged your chest as your eyes closed from his blessed hands working on your soft tissue.

He peeked up at you through those unruly locks of his and that boyish charm never failed you whenever he literally did anything. Don’t even get you started on his boxing practices, whew-

“So round two?” He quirked a playful eyebrow at you as his fingers lightly danced over your torso. You giggled when he reached around your waist and applied pressure, the soft skin felt like silk to him.

“What do you expect an answer?” You giggled up at him, stars in your eyes. You sneakily reached and tickled under his arms, and he let out the most adorable laugh your ears could ever hear. You shushed your laughs with unsuccessful kisses that were even more laughs because of your failed attempts of keeping a straight face.

When he pulled away, his doe-eyes were stuck on your gorgeous face. The way he was looking at you wasn’t unfamiliar, you we’re just too stupid to play it off as the “post-fuck love stare.” But here you were now. Laughing in between his strong arms and pecking each others lips.

We’ve been friends fucking like this for months and I’m just realizing this now?

“What if I told you that I loved you? How’d you answer to that..?” He trailed off towards the end, his spontaneous confidence wearing off by the millisecond from his impulsive words.

You could combust with the overwhelming feeling of happiness and your chest felt lighter even with his body of muscle on you. You smiled so wide up at him, you could barely see his own face morph into the dimpled look you’ve grown to love since you first met him. But you still wanted to mess with him for 10 more seconds.

“I would say I love you with all my heart...”

You think his just dropped to his stomach with the way his face turned ghastly pale and his eyebrows raised in worry. He was not expecting that after your reaction to him confessing his feeling towards you. Was this a joke? But you were smiling... mayb-

“But my ass is bigger.” Your laugh was contagious and he couldn’t even be mad at you cause he couldn’t agree more.

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bondsmagii · 4 years ago

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This is definitely one of the… wilder stories here, but as always, I suppose people will believe what they will.

This will unfortunately require some backstory, but I guess you could say the long and the short of it is that I played at being God, and it. Well. Kind of sucked, actually.

So, the backstory. I’ll try to keep it brief. I grew up in a small country village about forty-five minutes away from Belfast, Ireland. There wasn’t much going on there, as you could imagine – just a standard rural Irish town, where the most exciting thing that might happen in a week was old Farmer Joe getting a new tractor or something. Anyway, I’m not sure how many of you know about Ireland’s rather troubled past, but for the most part I missed all that. I was born around the time things were finally settling down, and while my earlier memories are filled with bomb scares and low-flying helicopters and gunshots in the night, the distant sound of shouting and the acrid smell of smoke burning a little too close for comfort, by the time I hit my teenage years most of it had wrapped up. Of course, there was the occasional scare here and there, and I’m not saying my friends and I didn’t go out looking for trouble once we were old enough, but it wasn’t the same. I’m not saying that out of a sense of, I don’t know, regret or annoyance or anything. Now I’m older, I’m not so enamoured by the idea of that much violence. I’m just saying it wasn’t really a patch on the kind of violence that used to happened there – the kind of violence that fascinated my friends and I so much. It sounds bad, but really we were just kids being kids. Little boys everywhere play at war games. It just so happened that the war we were playing had happened in our own country. It’s difficult not to be obsessed, when you see the reflection of history on the faces of every generation around you. Even slightly older siblings would know all about it – it wasn’t something you asked your grandfather, distant war stories over some vague European country that you’ve only seen on a map in your Geography classroom. This was our street corners, our high streets, the road outside the house. Here the grass verge at the side of the road where the bodies were dumped; there the lay-by where over a dozen people were blown to pieces. It was awful, but we were children. We were enamoured.

Anyway. The only violence we got really involved in was the summer rioting that happened yearly, like clockwork. It sounds like a joke, but that’s how it goes. You don’t need to know the details, but suffice to say in mid-July every year, the city would light up like we were back in the 1970s. Localised, of course, and still nowhere near as drastic as it used to be, but enough to get a taste. Petrol bombs. Police lines. Armoured cars. Water cannons. Unrestrained summer fun, you could say. But that’s for a bit later.

I’m a writer. I have been since I was four years old. Generally speaking I’m a horror writer, but I’ve branched into historical fiction a fair bit over the years. Living in Ireland, growing up how I did, it was inevitable that I would develop a fascination for Irish history. I was always a very curious child, my head in books, chasing up stories that would keep me awake at night. I never knew any boundaries. I would go after answers with military precision, asking questions, going places I shouldn’t. Dangerous for anyone, of course, but in a country like mine, where crossing the road could quite literally lead to your murder? It was reckless. I was reckless. But that’s the thing about being that age. You think you’re invincible. You think you can do anything.

I was about fourteen or fifteen, at the height of this obsession. I believe I was fifteen when I wrote this particular story, but it’s difficult to say. It was part of a series, and I was going back and forth on it and other projects for many years. Here we finally get to the point of the whole story: I had developed an obsession with Irish history, as I said, and specifically the more “modern” history – from 1916 onwards, the Easter Rising, the War of Independence, all that. I was fascinated by the Irish struggle for freedom, and while age and hindsight has lessened my… enthusiasm for the violence, I do maintain a strong opinion towards the whole thing, which is not the point here so I won’t get into it. What I’m trying to say is that my stories reflected this enthusiasm, and were undoubtedly glorifying in nature, and also at that age I was more concerned with living the fantasy than doing the research, so it was all very self-indulgent. I’m sure anyone who wrote at that age knows what I mean.

My main character… well. I’m sure you know what to expect. He was—well. Me, really. In the way of all main characters at that age, and perhaps a little even as we get older, there’s a piece of us inside all our main characters. Sometimes a little piece, other times just a cooler and more badass version of yourself. Michael was that for me. I suppose that must is obvious; I wasn’t even trying to be subtle. My name is of course Miceál, which for those of you keeping track is the Irish form of Michael. I’m just grateful that I didn’t go as far as to give him my last name, too, but everything else was there. He looked like me, he held the same views and beliefs as me, he acted like me – or at least, he acted in the ways I liked to think I’d act, or how I imagined acting later that night in the shower, reliving the scenario again. He was the best kind of self-insert character, indulgent and fun and a good friend to me. I poured a lot of myself into him. I poured everything into him. He was a constant companion, something that became ever more important to me as my real life—well, went to shit. To put it mildly. I would sit in my room writing my stories, and Michael would go out there and fight the good fight, killing and bombing for good old Ireland, and then I’d shut my computer down and go to sleep feeling just a little better than otherwise.

I’m not afraid to say that I can be obsessive. I like to get into the heads of my characters; I like to know them as well as I know everything. Yes, Michael was me, but he was also a version of me who had done things I have never done. Sometimes I would try to imagine myself as him; wonder what it was like to see through his eyes. Wonder what a me who had done that would look like. Wonder what he would do in a situation. I asked myself that a few times; a lot of times. What would Michael do? I could have put that shit on a wristband. I didn’t think anything of it at the time. I’ve always been a bit of a method writer like that. It was normal, until it wasn’t.

I first saw Michael on a hot July day, in Belfast. What we call the rioting season had come around; my friends and I were there to take advantage. Just at the sidelines, mind you – nobody wants to get a face full of water cannon, even on the hottest of days. Michael was in the thick of it though. Of course he was. I’d written him to be that way.

I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. At first I thought I must be seeing things, but the more I looked the more I realised he looked exactly like me. Only he was a little taller, a little fitter, and his hair looked different. His clothing was different, too; perhaps a couple of decades out of date, but looking at him I saw his clothing didn’t remain consistent. The changes were subtle – material, tone – but I noticed. Looking back, I assume it’s because I never did give a specific date for his story to occur in. Well, wherever he was from he was there now, throwing rocks with the best of them, skipping from stone to stone and hurling them at police lines with an easy swing that could only come from years of practise. When we had all finally cleaned out the area – soldiers coming, a helicopter, the kind of trouble you don’t want to toy with – I managed to catch up with him. He was talking to my friends. They noticed we were both there, but didn’t seem to realise we were two different people. The whole time we were all talking, I couldn’t take my eyes off of Michael. I tried, because I knew how obvious I was being, but I just couldn’t. I couldn’t work him out. I couldn’t even trust that’s what I was seeing. And the whole time, Michael watched me back. I knew the look in his eyes. It was his smug little, I know something you don’t know look. Of course I knew it. I had made him like that. I had given him that look.

I didn’t see him for some time after that. Believe it or not, I put it out of my head. I mean, come on. It was probably some other guy that my friends knew. We were in Belfast enough, and Michael isn’t exactly an uncommon name. I put it out of my mind, but I was sure that sometimes, I saw him. I was sure I’d see him in Belfast, ducking down side streets or leaning in close conversation with someone I couldn’t make out. He was always watching me. Sometimes I’d feel eyes on me and know it was him, but when I looked around I wouldn’t spot him. On some occasions – and these were always the worst – I would feel his eyes behind my own. Like he was on the inside looking out, moving independently in there, a set of eyes swivelling around over my own. It happened most often when I was trying to write his story. As you can imagine, I was nervous to do so. The more I thought I saw him, the less I wanted to write, but I didn’t think that was a good idea either. I didn’t know what to do.

It was a sunny weekend just before school started back after summer that I finally resolved to do something about it. I didn’t even feel stupid as I booted up my old Windows 95 desktop and opened Word. Michael’s story was there, in 12-point font as I always wrote then, plenty of enthusiasm but a lot less technical skill. My fingers hovered over the keyboard for a moment, and then I typed.

Hello?

Nothing, of course. I deleted the word, wondering what I had expected. Feeling a little stupid now, I tried to think about where to go with the story. It was difficult to write now I had some kind of real person to assign to it all – what were the ethics here? How could I—

I won’t get into that. It would be a philosophical essay all of its own. I sat for a while wondering what to write, and then it hit me that the story had changed. The words Michael had spoken, in the paragraph that I had left off – they were no longer the words I had written. I forget what the original words were now, but they were something relatively simple; some response to another character, and I remember that another name was mentioned in it – the name of Michael’s in-universe best friend, Eamon. Now that name was gone, and the rest of the text had changed, too. Now the writing read something different entirely.

I thought you wanted to know?

I lied earlier. I said that age and experience and perhaps some more emotional maturity had led me to turn away from the kind of violence that fascinated me so much then, and I have no doubt that under normal circumstances it would have done. I had somewhat of a speed run, however; I turned my back on it because

I’m getting ahead of myself.

I had often wondered what it would be like to do what Michael did, of course. To kill and risk death for a cause, to face down prison, torture, exile. I had wondered what it would be like to commit those acts; how easy or difficult it would be to pull a trigger or push a detonator. I liked to think, in my foolish, idealistic teenage mind, that if it came down to it I could. Of course, I was in the very privileged position to not have to actually answer that question.

Michael, on the other hand, knew. And Michael was, if not me, than a product of me. Could it be possible that he could show me?

I ignored the message for several days. I didn’t know what to think. Truth be told I thought I was going mad. School started again and I got so busy that I almost, almost forgot about it – and then I opened the document by mistake one day, got into reading it over, laughing at my brilliant comebacks, you know how it is. And there it was again.

I thought you wanted to know?

Yes, I remember thinking. It stunned me – I remember that. I didn’t want to mess with this kind of stuff – I’ve always been a huge believer in the paranormal, always been cautious when it comes to fucking with that kind of stuff. I believe that magic like this, it requires intent. It needs you to be sure. It knows how you feel, true in your heart. So even when I ignored it again, even when I deleted the words and re-wrote whatever the original had been, even as I didn’t reply… I knew in my heart that my question had been heard by something. I could feel Michael’s eyes on me again, though now I wondered if it was Michael’s eyes, or something else entirely. It felt like a weight. Have you ever been in an old, old place, where you can practically feel the people who lived and died there; reach out and touch them? It felt like that. Like the weight of history was pressing down on me. I didn’t fall asleep easily that night, but when I did sleep was dark and endless.

I don’t know how long I spent in that state. In reality it was only seven hours; I woke up with my alarm. In that time period, wherever I was – because I was not living – I seemed to witness a hundred different lives. Over the course of Michael’s story I had him do all kinds of things; live all kinds of situations. I deleted things, changed others, added things in. I wrote what would now be called alternate universes. In that night I experienced them all. I know how it feels now. I know how it feels to pull a trigger; to watch the spray of someone’s life splatter a wall or a windscreen or the screaming backseat passengers of a car. I know how it feels to push the button, the one that sends a charge surging down a wire or flickering out over my head in an invisible wave of death, notifying the bomb, detonating the explosives. I know how it feels to sit in a hotel bar across a border, listening to the news, sipping a drink and feeling my heart beat in my chest as I add more numbers to the tally, more blood to my hands. I know how it feels to be shot, to be beaten, to watch a friend die, to kill someone who used to be – who still is, despite everything – a friend. I know how it feels to cough blood into my hands, onto the ground; to grip a wound that won’t stop bleeding; the blinding flash of an explosive detonating too soon and how the whole world seems to roar and how there’s a difference between the thud and slap of wet mud hitting the ground and the warmer, denser rain of something that used to be human. For days, weeks, years – I walked in Michael’s shoes, I lived his life, I committed every act.

I felt his pain. His fear. This hellish world that he lived in, created to kill and die and lose and fear, over and over. To meet his God and to finally, finally ask – why?

And what could I say? Because I wanted to know?

Well. Now I do.

#creeptastic #creepypasta #my creepypasta #writing #my writing #short story #fiction #can you tell i've been listening to tma lately?#anyway VERY tempted to record this seems i'm a decent voice impressionist and i have the right accent for the statement lmao

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conradscrime · 4 years ago

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The Infamous Case of D.B. Cooper

March 14, 2021

This case began on November 24, 1971 when a man who went by the name of Dan Cooper went up to the counter of Northwest Orient Airlines in Portland, Oregon and asked to buy a one-way ticket to Seattle Washington. The man paid for this ticket in cash. The name D.B. Cooper comes from a miscommunication, supposedly the man named himself as Dan but his ticket was printed out as saying D.B. Cooper instead.

Cooper was very quiet and described as a man in his mid-40′s, wearing a business suit with a black tie and white shirt. While waiting for the plane to take off, the man ordered a bourbon and soda. A little after 3 pm the strange man handed the stewardess, Florence Schaffner, a note which claimed he had a bomb in his briefcase and demanded her to sit down with him.

The stewardess, needing to remain calm, sat down next to D.B. as he wrote a note for her to take to the captain. He demanded to have 4 parachutes and $200,000 in twenty dollar bills. I think we all know what his threat was if they plane did not meet his demands.

Knowing that there was 36 passengers on the plane and several crew members, they had no choice but to give the man what he wanted. The flight eventually landed in Seattle and all of the passengers were let off unharmed. D.B. Cooper kept several crew members on the plane with him as they were heading for their next destination, Mexico City.

A little after 8 pm when the plane was somewhere between Seattle and Reno, the man known as D.B. Cooper jumped out of the back of the plane with a parachute and his ransom money. The pilots landed the plane safely and no one was hurt, but D.B. Cooper was never seen again.

There have been a lot of suspects over the years of who this older, put together, strange man was. One of the most popular suspects was a man who went by the name of Richard Floyd McCoy. He came to be a suspect because he attempted to hijack a plane in similar fashion to D.B. Cooper a few months later on April 7, 1972. He demanded four parachutes and $500,000. McCoy was arrested but eventually let go because he did not match the identical descriptions two of the flight attendants gave.

What is such a mysterious about this case is that we have a fairly accurate and good description of D.B. Cooper because the stewardess that sat and talked to him had spent a considerable amount of time with him and had gotten a good look at his face and features.

D.B. Cooper is suspected to have possibly been an Air Force veteran at some point because he was quite familiar with the Seattle area and even recognized the city of Tacoma while the plane was still in motion. Others also believe he used the alias Dan Cooper name after a fictional hero in a Belgian comic books series. The fictional Dan Cooper was a test pilot who had numerous heroic adventures even ones that involved parachuting.

Others believe D.B. Cooper did not actually survive the jump. Most think this because he wasn’t wearing proper clothing or footwear for a jump of that extent, as well as he would of been jumping out of the plane in a dark and wooded area, which would be even difficult for an expert which most believe he was not.

Another well known suspect is a man named Kenneth Peter Christiansen, after his brother Lyle Christiansen watched a documentary on the D.B. Cooper case in 2003. Lyle was convinced that his brother was Cooper for multiple reasons. Kenneth Christiansen enlisted in the army in 1944 and was a trained paratrooper. He also joined the Northwest Orient in 1954 working as a mechanic, a flight attendant and then a purser based in Seattle. He would of been 45 years old at the time of the hijacking, matching the supposed age of D.B. Cooper but he was shorter, thinner and lighter than the description given. Christiansen also smoked and preferred bourbon like Cooper. Florence Schaffner, the stewardess who spent a lot of time with Cooper said that Kenneth Christiansen matched the description more than any of the other suspects she had seen, though she could not 100% identify him as being Cooper.

Here is where things get really creepy. Kenneth Christiansen had purchased a house in cash a few months after the hijacking took place and when he was dying of cancer in 1994 he told his brother Lyle that there was something he should know, but that he couldn’t tell him what it was. Lyle said he never pressed his brother for more information. After Kenneth died his family found several news clippings of Northwest Orient news that started around the time he was hired in the 1950′s and stopped right before the hijacking took place in 1971. Kenneth worked for the airline part-time for several years after 1971 though he supposedly never saved another paper clipping.

So now it’s time to debunk some findings. Apparently, according to the Wikipedia page (which isn’t the greatest source ever I know), some web sleuths actually discovered that Kenneth Christiansen never bought a house with cash after the hijacking, he had a mortgage on a house and took 17 years to pay it off. Kenneth’s family also claimed they found around $200,000 in accounts after his death, though sleuths found that he had actually sold 2 dozen acres of land for large amounts of money which would explain why he had so much money on him in the mid 1990′s around the time of his death. However, this is just from a source I found, I have not looked into these debunking theories.

Another suspect goes by the name of Lynn Doyle Cooper, or L.D. Cooper. Born in 1931, he was a leather worker and Korean War veteran. In 2011 his niece Marla Cooper proposed he was a potential suspect. Marla was a child at the time but she remembers her uncle and another uncle planning something “mischievous” involving the use of walkie talkies at her grandmother’s house in Sisters, Oregon on November 23, 1971. The next day the plane hijacking took place and thought L.D. Cooper was supposedly turkey hunting that day he came home wearing a bloody shirt and said he had been in an auto accident. Marla claims both her parents suspected L.D. of being D.B. Cooper and she also said her uncle was obsessed with the comic book hero Dan Cooper mentioned previously. L.D. Cooper would’ve matched the age D.B. Cooper was described as but he died in 1999 taking whatever secrets he had with him. The FBI added his DNA to the system to see if it was a match from the unknown DNA they had from D.B. Cooper’s tie, but it did not match though this doesn’t mean he wasn’t the mysterious hijacker.

There are so many more interesting suspects with lots of evidence suggesting they very well could be D.B. Cooper, I might make a second post strictly discussing some other interesting suspects.

In February 1980 almost 9 years after the original hijacking when a young boy named Brian Ingram found a wad of twenty dollar bills, $5,800 in total, along the banks of the Columbia River and the serial number on the bills matched the serial number of the bills given to D.B. Cooper. However, I personally think (and kind of hope) he survived because no body has ever been found. I am kind of rooting for this guy because this story sounds so unreal.

In 2017 a group of volunteer investigators found what appeared to be an old parachute strap in the Pacific Northwest. In August 2017 a piece of foam that was suspected to be part of D.B. Cooper’s backpack was found.

FBI agents recovered 66 unidentified fingerprints aboard the plane as well as finding Cooper’s black clip on tie, his tie clip and two of the four parachutes, one being opened.

The FBI officially suspended the active investigation in July 2016, almost 45 years after the hijacking, however they ask if anyone has any physical evidence that might emerge to submit it for analysis. All of the evidence is open to the public.

The mystery of D.B. Cooper is the only unsolved case of air piracy in commercial aviation history. Unless someone confesses on their death bed, I say the identity of D.B. Cooper will remain unsolved. The likelihood of someone confessing to this on their deathbed is unlikely though because if the man was in his mid-40′s in 1971 he would be in his 90′s now if he is still alive.

#d.b. cooper #unsolved true crime #unsolved #mystery #unsolved mysteries #hijacking #airplane

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victoryclaimedarchived · 4 years ago

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since a few people liked my post about her last night, i decided i'd post her info here ! ( death mention tw. )

bonus younger haruhi !

BASIC INFORMATION

FULL NAME: Haruhi Makoto NICKNAME(S): N/A PREFERRED NAME(S): Haruhi ( by those she is close to and familiar with ), Makoto by those she is not familiar with / her students BIRTH DATE: July 3rd AGE: 30 ZODIAC: Cancer GENDER: Female PRONOUNS: she/her SPECIES: Human ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Biromantic SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Demisexual NATIONALITY: Japanese LIVING CONDITIONS: apartment near U.A ( pre-dorms ), on U.A campus ( post-dorms ) CODENAME: AMARA

BACKGROUND

SOCIAL CLASS: Lower Class EDUCATION LEVEL: U.A graduate FATHER: Yamato Takayuki, deceased MOTHER: Ren Takayuki, deceased SIBLING(S): None BIRTH ORDER: N/A CHILDREN: Kosuke Makoto PET(S): Ichiro, a siamese cat ( reference ) OTHER IMPORTANT RELATIVES: None PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIPS: Kaoru Makoto, deceased ARRESTS?: None. PRISON TIME?: None.

OCCUPATION & INCOME

PRIMARY SOURCE OF INCOME: Teaching at U.A High ( Teacher for Heroic Defenses / 1-C Homeroom teacher ) SECONDARY SOURCE OF INCOME: Hero work through her agency TERTIARY SOURCE(S) OF INCOME: N/A APPROXIMATE AMOUNT PER YEAR: Varies CONTENT WITH THEIR JOB (OR LACK THERE OF)?: Haruhi often times misses working out in the field but now only does so when necessary. However, she wouldn’t have accepted a position at U.A if she didn’t enjoy teaching. PAST JOB(S): Various SPENDING HABITS: aruhi is very careful with her spending. With it just being her and her son, she wants to make sure they can live comfortably and that means only buying what is neccessary. MOST VALUABLE POSSESSION(S): Her wedding ring that she keeps locked in her drawer at home.

SKILLS & ABILITIES

PHYSICAL STRENGTH: 7/10 OFFENSE: 7/10 DEFENSE: 10/10 SPEED: 8/10 INTELLIGENCE: 8/10 ACCURACY: 9/10 AGILITY: 8/10 STAMINA: 9/10 TEAMWORK: 8/10 TALENTS: Cooking, baking, sewing, playing the violin, making sweaters for cats ( mostly for Ichiro ), tba LANGUAGE(S) SPOKEN: Japanese, English DRIVE?: Yes. JUMP-STAR A CAR?: No. CHANGE A FLAT TIRE?: No. RIDE A BICYCLE?: Yes. SWIM?: Yes. PLAY AN INSTRUMENT?: Yes. PLAY CHESS?: No. BRAID HAIR?: Yes TIE A TIE?: Yes PICK A LOCK?: Yes. POWER(S)/ABILITY(IES): Haruhi’s quirk is SOLID ENERGY. Her quirk allows her to solidify her energy and use it however she sees fit ! During her years as a U.A student, she was training to get it to work as a sword, but after her husband’s death, she switched her tactics primarily over to defensive moves. Though she can still manifest her energy into a sword, she prefers to use SHIELDS and force field type shields during RESCUES.

The time limit and strength of the shield depend on how much energy she has. Her time limits, depending on how she uses her quirk, range from 5 minutes to half an hour. If she pushes herself, she can reach an hour but risks passing out in the battlefield.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE & CHARACTERISTICS

FACE CLAIM: Riza Hawkeye VOICE CLAIM: tba EYE COLOR: Pink HAIR COLOR: Blonde SCENT: Apples & watermelon HAIR TYPE/STYLE: Mid-back, straight ( reference ) GLASSES/CONTACTS?: No/No DOMINANT HAND: Ambidextrous HEIGHT: 5'4" WEIGHT: 120 lbs BUILD: Mesomorph EXERCISE HABITS: routine varies day to day SKIN TONE: Peachy, warm tones. TATTOOS: tba. PEIRCINGS: Ears. MARKS/SCARS: Varying in size and shape all over her body from her days at U.A and when she was much more active at her agency. NOTABLE FEATURES: Her eyes. USUAL EXPRESSION: Stern, but not unkind CLOTHING STYLE: casual ; hero gear ( reference ) ALLERGIES: None. BODY TEMPERATURE: Average. DIET: tba ; healthy PHYSICAL AILMENTS: None.

PSYCHOLOGY

MYERS-BRIGGS TYPE: tba ENNEAGRAM TYPE: tba MORAL ALIGNMENT: Neutral Good TEMPERAMENT: tba ELEMENT: tba PRIMARY INTELLIGENCE TYPE: tba APPROXIMATE IQ: tba MENTAL CONDITIONS/DISORDERS: Depression, PTSD, anxiety EMOTIONAL STABILITY: tba OBSESSION(S): tba COMPULSION(S): tba PHOBIA(S): tba ADDICTION(S): tba DRUG USE: No. ALCOHOL USE: No. PRONE TO VIOLENCE?: No.

MANNERISMS

SPEECH STYLE: Calm, confident. ACCENT: None. QUIRKS: tba HOBBIES: Hanging out with friends, trying new foods, coming up with new ways to test her students HABITS: tba NERVOUS TICKS: goes to touch her left ring finger ( though the ring is no longer there ) DRIVES/MOTIVATIONS: Trying to make the world a better place so that people don’t have to senselessly die FEARS: Losing Kosuke, getting hurt enough that Kosuke would lose her POSITIVE TRAITS: loyal, determined, kind, patient, protective, energetic NEGATIVE TRAITS: guarded, doesn’t like to talk about her negative emotions, stubborn, cautious SENSE OF HUMOR: silly ; soft DO THEY CURSE OFTEN?: No CATCHPHRASE(S): None.

ATTITUDES

GREATEST DREAM: tba GREATEST FEAR: tba MOST AT EASE WHEN: tba LEAST AT EASE WHEN: tba WORST POSSIBLE THING THAT COULD HAPPEN: tba BIGGEST ACHIEVEMENT: tba BIGGEST REGRET: tba. MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT: tba. BIGGEST SECRET:tba TOP PRIORITIES: tba

Teacher of HEROIC DEFENSES and homeroom teacher to class 1-C, Makoto Haruhi is a person who has seen, first hand, what the life of being a hero is like and how it can affect a person. Despite her hardships and pain, she continues to strive to be the best role model she can be, someone her students can turn to should they need someone to listen.

Caring and determined, she is also a mother of a ten year old boy named Kosuke, who is the splitting image of her, and her time as a mother, she believes, has helped her become a better teacher. Her son will sometimes sit in on her classes when his own is out of school.

Haruhi was seventeen when she met Makoto Kaoru, a promising young man, with a speed quirk, who had started working at her agency the year before she began there herself. The chemistry was instant, and though they both denied any feelings towards one another, they eventually gave in and began dating soon after Haruhi’s eighteenth birthday. They were drawn to each other like moths to a flame and they were head over heels for one another.

Within the year, they were married and moved in together, planning out their entire lives ; children, vacation spots—and all was well until Kaoru’s brother was killed by a villain a year later. Kaoru, always driven by his emotions, was swallowed by grief and revenge. Despite Haruhi’s best efforts and those of their friends, Kaoru would stop at nothing. Though she and friends showed up to help Kaoru fight, they had gotten there too late, after Kaoru had been gravely injured.

Haruhi had been the one to catch him, using her quirk to throw up a shield around them as others fought to take the villain down. It was in this moment, when Kaoru realized he would not live much longer, that Haruhi told him through her sobs that they were going to have a baby. With his dying breath, Kaoru apologized for rushing ahead, regretting that he would not be there for their child. Eventually, Haruhi had to be pried away from her deceased husband, and after the funeral, her friends helped her move from their home into a tiny apartment.

She took a break from the heroics, instead earning a job at U.A as their heroic defenses teacher, where she decided to stay even after Kosuke was born.

#ooc.#death mention tw.

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every1studio · 5 years ago

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true feelings series: “july: the falling out” [ateez: hongjoong]

genre: angst + slight fluff (non idol!au)

ficstyle: bulletpoints + oneshot + series [YUNHO] [HONGJOONG]

prompt: a series for feelings that one would experience for the sake of “love”

note: I know that it’s been a long time and this isn’t going to be a big RETURN to tumblr. I’ve been going through a lot; I’ve been so unmotivated and just going through a roller coaster of emotions. So if it’s not too much, I kinda wanna write a little of what I’m going through in this piece... I hope you don’t mind. Until next time, Yenni.

a/n: this is inspired by this song “JULY,” on SOUNDCLOUD. Check Valerie Thai out!!!

you remembered when you met him for the first time in July

it was at a little boutique street on 29th Avenue

you were working part time at a music instrument shop

the air conditioning in the shop kept you sane as you were busy carefully wiping the dust off of the display instruments

the tranquil sound of bells chimed as you got up to welcome in the customer

you were kind of stunned

it was cliche to think that he was the most handsome guy you’ve ever seen in your life; but you weren’t wrong

he smiled as you welcomed him into the shop as he patted the sweat running from his sideburns, “I must be blessed to come across a place with some strong a/c..”

he looks around the shop as he admired the instruments hanging all around and secretly at you

“I should come here more often..” the guy mumbled

“and you should..” you mumbled back, so sure that he wasn’t able to hear you

“hmm? why is that?” your face beamed with embarrassment as he shot a smile of curiosity at you

“uH.. We hAVe a gOOd seLEcTion oF inSTrumeNts.. and stuff...” you tried to direction his attention away from you

“I’m looking for a nice acoustic guitar.. could you help out?”

how could he be so smiley and so calm? he must be a player

you nodded but you kept your guard up

finally you were able to get your mind off of his distracting face and went to something you were familiar with

you always had a love for music; ever since you were little

so when your uncle opened up a music instrument shop, you were quick to ask him to work there

the guy caught himself looking at you more than the guitars you showed him

how could he not?

you were so excited to show him your favorite guitars as well as some popular ones

he could tell that you loved music just as much as he did

it showed in your eyes

“I think this one is good for you, what do you think?” he woke up from his daydream of a daze

“I think that I should ask you out on a date- BUT YOU DON’T HAVE TO IF YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE!” you could tell that mid-sentence he got red, so red that you could feel it burn up to your ears

“I wouldn’t mind going on a date with you..” you whispered, gripping onto the neck of the guitar

the smiley guy stuck his hand out for you to take, “I’m Hongjoong..”

“I’m Y/N”

...

A COUPLE YEARS PASSED

it was the end of summer when you reminisced over the times you spent with Hongjoong

where you met

where you had your first date

when you two shared your first kiss

when you two had your first fight

how he made you feel then

how he made you feel now

you were so sure that you two were going to last forever

where did it all go wrong?

you could tell that the longer you stayed with him, the more he fell out of love with you

the little voice inside your head won

telling you that you weren’t going to make him feel like he did when he first met you

telling you that even if you gave him your whole heart, he wouldn’t take it

your insecurities pushed yourself away from him

the words that weren’t said out loud were the missing piece to fixing your relationship

but in the end, they were never said

the beginning of July was the last time you two talked

there was no closure

a small and petty fight grew into a larger one that had nothing to do with what was spoken about at the beginning of the conversation

after all the yelling, you stopped for a second

you were a whimpering mess as Hongjoong’s knuckles were white, holding himself back from something, you will never know

“do you still love me?” you whispered

you knew that he heard you, but you didn’t hear a reply

“when did you stop loving me?”

after a few moments, he just grabbed his jacket and left

you were bewildered as you collapsed onto your knees

Hongjoong could hear your muffled cries behind the other side of your door

he made it outside the place that you two shared, but he couldn’t step away from it

he didn’t know why he left you like that

everything just felt different, it wasn’t the same anymore

he waited for you to stop crying before he called his friend, Seonghwa, if he could crash at his place

you couldn’t sleep that night

when you closed your eyes, he was there

when you opened your eyes, you were hit with realization that your room will no longer have him in it

even as you wrapped yourself with the blanket, you were still cold

his warmth was no longer there and it made you uncomfortable

slowly but surely, you dragged your feet to continue on with your life without Hongjoong in it

Hongjoong didn’t know how to confront you; even after spending a part of his life with you for years, it was like he didn’t know you

the both of you had mutual feelings that the two of you were able to move on

the landlord called for him to pick up his things

that was when he found that the you moved out of the place that you two once called home

you quit your job at the music instrument shop

you changed your number

you deleted him out of your social medias, out of your life

well.. you tried to

despite of all of that, you couldn’t help but go by 29th Avenue

so many memories were held on this street

what if you called out to him that night?

what if you hugged him to stay?

what if?

you never said goodbye

there wasn’t closure

but it was for sure the end of the relationship

you sat on the balcony of your new apartment

you looked over the city as the warm summer breeze got caught in your hair

you stretched as you breathed in the air of your new life

as you were stretching, an old guitar at the corner of your room caught your eye

your arms fell to your side as you walked over to it

you gave it a small melancholy smile as you sat down next to it

“it’s been too long..”

...

JULY OF THE NEXT YEAR

Hongjoong adjusted his headset before going live on his live radio show

Hongjoong was a famous radio star and he dug a grave in his work to forget about you

“Hey everyone~ I hope you’re in a place with some nice, cool A/C~”

like an old record, he was reminded of the first time he met you

“I’m going play some songs that you guys have been requesting me to play on this station so let’s get to it!”

he scrolls down to read the first comment that caught his attention

Hongjoong clears his throat before he read the comment out loud, “From: Byul1117 “Hongjoong, I LOVE listening to your station so much! there’s this song that I’ve been listening to on REPEAT, listening to it is like drinking a glass of lemonade on a hot day in July. I recently discovered this artist and I’ve been obsessed with this song, it’s called “JULY” by Y/N! please check it out, it’s on soundcloud!!””

he froze after he read the comment

there’s no way that it was you.. right?

other people can have the same name

“thanks so much for the support, Byul1117.. let’s listen to “JULY” by Y/N..”

he turns off his mic as his staff plays the song that was requested

the moment you started singing, he knew it was you

did you write music before?

did your voice always sound this beautiful yet sad?

who was the inspiration of this song?

was it him?

as the song went on, he remembered everything that the two of you did

he unintentionally smiled as he remembered telling you that he fell in love with you for the second time on your first date at the quaint boba shop

remembered on how you looked at him in confusion, “when was the first time?”

he kissed your hand like some sort of prince before answering, “when I opened the door of a certain music instrument shop..”

you jokingly cringed as you pulled away from him, “are you actually this CHEESY?!”

the music slows as you sang that you’d be waiting for him at the place where you two had your first date

the month of July held so much for him and for you

when the song ends, he wanted to get up and run to where you said you were waiting

but he couldn’t; the rest of the broadcast was a blur to him

as soon as it ended, he ran to that street; 29th Avenue

Hongjoong couldn’t lie

he felt like it wasn’t the same

but that was because he didn’t make an effort to keep it that way

all of this was his fault and he knew it

and he knew deep down inside, that you wouldn’t be blaming yourself for what happened

what felt like an eternity passed, he made it to the shop

he was out of breath but that was the least of his concern

you never left his mind

everywhere he went he was reminded of you

maybe it was too late for him to do anything at this point

he didn’t know how to get to you when he felt like you were the one that was slowly pushing him away

Hongjoong hoped that you were there waiting for him

he was about to enter the shop when someone else enters before him

you got up with a smile

Hongjoong was so sure that you saw him

that you would run into his arms again and start over

but you ran into the arms of another man

you showed him a smile that was once only shown to Hongjoong

in those 60 seconds, it was like it played in slow motion

you had moved on

you were happy

how could he enter your life again after seeing that you got back on your feet without him?

Hongjoong sat down at a table with his back to you as he heard you making your way out of the door

“did he ever visit you? I heard someone requested your song on his radio show..” the man who was accompanying you opened the door for you

“no.. but there’s no helping it, we both walked out of each other’s life. for better or for worse.. I’m not going to lie, he still crosses my mind. especially in July.. I hope he’s doing well..” your voice comes to a stop

Hongjoong could tell that you were about to cry, even without looking at you

“I’ve been longing for closure for so long.. that now..now that I have you.. I don’t want it.. I don’t need it..” you murmured through tears the gently rolled off your face

the man before you wipes your tears away, “I don’t want you to bottle your feelings.. I want you to tell me everything that you’re going through.. I want to be there for you when you have the slightest feeling of sadness.. I want to be there.. as your boyfriend..”

both you and Hongjoong went wide-eyed, “Yunho..”

“even if you can’t accept me, I’ll be by your side... because I know how hard it was for you to go through the things that you did-”

“thank you Yunho..”

Hongjoong was clenching his hands, hoping that you’d turn him down

please, please, please; Hongjoong was holding his breath

“I would feel assured if you were by my side.. as my boyfriend..”

Hongjoong’s heart’s battery depleted as Yunho’s was energized

“okay okay okay, let’s go to the movies before it’s too late,” Yunho happily picked you up and ran off

as you two ran off, you were so sure that you saw Hongjoong

but you didn’t say anything, because if you did, you would probably get closure...

and if you got closure, you’d tell him how much you missed him

and if you told him how much you missed him, you’d fall for him for the third time

Hongjoong smiled as streams of tears ran onto his hand

the hand that still had the cheap gunmetal couple ring you got for the both of you on your first anniversary

he always had trouble taking off the ring because that would mean that he would finally move on from you

but he couldn’t so he didn’t

now?

seeing you finally be happy without him was a sort of closure he didn’t know he needed

he took off the ring as it was coated with his choked up tears

and left it on the table at the place where you two had your first date

29th Avenue in July was something that would always cross his mind

and it was something that would always cross yours

End.

[ masterlist + guidelines ]

#ateez #ateez writing #ateez fluff #ateez reactions #ateez scenarios #Ateez hongjoong #kim hongjoong #hongjoong scenarios #ateez kim hongjoong #ateez au #ateez angst #ateez x reader #ateez x you #ateez x atiny #ateez x male reader #ateez blurb #ateez oneshot

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