#i only realized that’s what happened bc it is the only possible conclusion

[starlooove]

Bedtime

[tsvai]

bummed because i was finally able to confirm, to my own satisfaction anyway, the rumors that a webcomic author whose older stuff i really liked is using you-know-what assistance with her latest webcomic that she's publishing to webtoon, and lying about it

[philosophiums]

Megumi Rant bc I'm So Tired

I was gonna talk about 271 and the ending chapters of JJK in general, specifically focusing on how Shonen Jump puts a hard end date on each series it publishes (which are based on conversations with the mangakas, sure, but with no leeway once it’s determined because SJ wants to keep cycling through new publications in order to keep making money - and those hard line end dates cannot possibly account for, say, sudden illness that would prevent a mangaka from releasing a chapter) and how it’s the best end to the series that many fans could have asked for given that info, but I’m tired and I don’t feel like yelling at a wall, so here’s a rebuttal aimed at a lot of Megumi hot takes™ I’ve seen since, really, 269 dropped.

Obligatory thing up front bc I know the JJK fandom hates reading and critical thought more than anything in the world, and that it operates on a very "but what about me" mentality: It's totally fine if you are dissatisfied with JJK in general or even just the ending. It's totally fine if you have mixed feelings about the way the story was wrapped up. It's totally fine if you think it could have been handled better even given the above information in the link above on how SJ operates. I'm not telling you to feel a certain way, but I'm walking you through the end of the story (read: Megumi's character specifically) bc I am so fucking tired of reading bad takes about "Gege hating Megumi" or whatever.

Holding everyone's hands as I go through these. Let's take these steps in shedding directionless rage together.

(Forewarning that this is long as hell. Gomen.)

Common Argument Number 1: Megumi didn’t have a character arc/didn't grow as a character

The first thing that needs to be understood to realize why this is wrong is that all of the characters in JJK have arcs based around power - gaining it, losing it, being overwhelmed by it, and so on. This is not new information as of the last few chapters; we've known for years now that JJK isn't a story that's focused on deep introspection nor prolonged emotional development. Power. Cursed Techniques. That's where Gege kept his focus. However, it's impossible to write a story with heavy themes of loss and fear and love without touching into a character's emotions at all, some of which become central enough to turn into arcs. (We'll circle back to this in just a moment.) The second thing that needs to be understood here is that, in the general sense of All Media (and not just JJK), not all character arcs have to span the entire length of a story. A full and complete character arc (which is to say, the movement that happens while a character is actively changing) can happen in half of a story or less, and it is no less satisfying for having done so. Now, what does all of that have to do with Megumi? Very explicitly, it means that Megumi not only experiences growth as a character, but that he also goes through not one, but two character arcs. ((He's not the only character with two arcs, but he's the reason for this post, so you guys can track down the others on your own.)) Both of his arcs are complete, in my opinion, even if they're not 100% satisfying. But satisfaction isn't the argument here, so we can touch on that later. Maybe. Megumi's first arc (his power arc) starts right out of the gate, but it doesn't begin to take shape until the chapters at the detention center (I would argue it specifically starts to become an "arc" [which is to say, experiences movement] right at the point where Yuuji dies - this is the inciting incident in Megumi's story), and it concludes during the Culling Games (the exact place of it's conclusion is a little waffle-y for me but it's between either the moment he is able to use his technique to beat someone solo within the depths of his shadows OR the exact moment that Sukuna looks at him and thinks that he's strong enough now to be Sukuna's vessel). This arc follows Megumi coming to terms with the reality that if he wants to save people, he needs to get stronger and he needs to get more in touch with the side of himself that is/creates his CT. And he accomplishes that. Is there more growth in this department that he could have had? Yes, absolutely. Taming Mahoraga, a fully realized domain expansion, etc. All of that could have happened, but none of that needs to happen in order for this arc to be complete. He sought power, he got power, and he used it to save people. That's a fully realized and completed arc. Megumi's second arc (his emotional arc) happens during the time Sukuna is wearing him like a suit. This arc has nothing at all to do with anything that happens before this point in time (it has nothing to do with power, nothing to do with fighting, nothing to do with saving people). Before this, Megumi's emotional state is fairly stagnant; any goals and/or momentum that he has outside of wanting to become stronger are usually skipped over or not acknowledged at all. Once his bodily autonomy is stripped from him, all that's left is emotion. And we get to see a complete emotional arc here - starting in stagnation, inciting incident of being possessed, and then the slow chipping away of his resolve as Sukuna kills his sister and performs a ritual to suppress Megumi's soul completely. Megumi is at his lowest point here, but he overcomes it and chooses to live. That's a complete arc. That's a conclusion. No amount of wanting him to mourn Gojo or of wishing for This, That, or The Other things change the fact that his arcs do in fact reach natural conclusions within the story.

Common Argument Number 2: Megumi didn't have a satisfying conclusion

I think this argument is a bit of a pull from a misunderstanding that revolves around argument number one. People are looking for an arc that is wrapping up in the final chapters, and they're upset that they're not finding it. And the reason they're not finding it is because, as mentioned above, Megumi's arcs concluded before he regained consciousness post-Shinjuku. Also, this may come as a shock to some people, but "satisfying" is relative. Which also means that I can't exactly argue against what people are feeling, because in this specific instance, it's all feelings based. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to try!! I already covered that Megumi fully concluded both of his arcs, so it's not that he's lacking in power or emotional development. I think what people get stuck on is what Megumi says before he begins to fight back against Sukuna: that he wants to try to live for someone else. A lot of readers seem to take this as a step backwards for him, a return to who he was before everything in the story, but I disagree. I think it's actually a large step forward for him and, beyond that, I think it's realistic beyond simply satisfying the narrative. At the beginning of the story, Megumi is living for nothing. It's common for the fandom to think he's living for Tsumiki, but she's fully comatose and cursed; I doubt that he's living for her. At most he's living just in case a miracle happens and she wakes up, but that's not living for her. He's in what I think of as a transitional space, and he's stuck there. He's the only one in his year at Jujutsu Tech, he's not trying to develop his CT, he's just existing - going on missions and rolling his eyes at Gojo and doing school work. At the end of the story, Megumi actively chooses life. He had a way out, he felt that in many ways he was already dead - or at the very least, that he was irredeemable and better off dead. But he chooses to live. He chooses to fight back. And, more than that, he chooses to become an active participant in life. Yes, for him that means living for Yuuji, but even that still requires wanting to keep going, wanting to keep putting one foot in front of the other. He wants to face the world and all it has to offer - despite all the bad, and maybe in spite everything he went through. That's a satisfying character conclusion in my eyes. Everyone wants realistic representation of the struggle surrounding mental illness and how victories with them are not as "grand" as for neurotypical people until they're actually presented with realistic representation. Then all of a sudden it's "bad writing" and "unsatisfying" because the character didn't end the story without any gaps or holes and with a perfect little bow wrapped around their neck. God forbid there be an implication that a character gets to continue to live and grow beyond the last page. Anyway, just because he didn't have the conclusion you wanted for him that you built up in your head after years of living with the fanon version of Megumi you created doesn't mean his conclusion was bad or unsatisfying.

Common Argument Number 3: Megumi's characterization went right back to how it was during the Culling Game arc

...Duh??? I mean... where else was his personality and his behavior supposed to go? He spent a month completely suppressed by Sukuna. The only thing he was going to do without intervention is regress, not progress. What happened to Megumi when Yuuji reached out to him was him coming back to himself - and the only "himself" he had in recent memory was who he was immediately before Sukuna took over. Character progression cannot happen in stagnation, and stagnation is all Megumi had while he was suppressed in the bath™. Expecting any of that to change him for the better or to push him in any "forward" momentum is, quite honestly, ridiculous. The only direction Megumi could have gone is backwards, and he is (which means also we are) just lucky that he was able to be dragged into the version of himself that had already grown and that was waiting for his return.

Common Argument Number 4: Megumi didn't do anything during the fight against Sukuna

What gets me about this stance is that it seems to be the only one shared between the "shonen bros" who only read manga for the fight scenes and the hardcore Megumi stans who wish so desperately that he was the main character of the series. But like... what do you want him to do, here, exactly? Somehow find within himself the urge to get up and fight what seems to be a losing battle after watching his own hands kill not only his sister but the most prominent adult figure in his life? Resist all on his own (with no prior arc moments to support it) whatever mystical magical bs makes the bath™ work in keeping his soul suppressed? Do you want a good and well-structured character arc with logical emotional weight, or do you just want your favorite character to defeat a villain that is not "his" villain? I'll wait. Megumi's struggles during this story arc are internal, and his inability to fight is reflective of that. If he were to be resisting against Sukuna the whole time - trying to wrest control of his CT back or attempting to attack Sukuna's soul himself - then we would still be sitting in his power arc during this time. Megumi's inaction is physical representation of the inner turmoil and struggle that he was in during the fight, and I don't think that's very hard to understand. He is fighting; it's just that he's fighting himself. And he wins that fight. And he does do something in the fight against Sukuna. I firmly believe that Megumi choosing to live sealed the deal on Sukuna's death. Why else would Sukuna have been panicking so hard and doing everything he could to keep Megumi depressed and stuck in the ruts of his mind? If Megumi hadn't chosen life, hadn't decided he wanted to keep fighting in that moment, Sukuna would still be kicking. I don't think it's a stretch, actually, to say that Megumi delivered the blow that weakened Sukuna to Yuuji's kill shot. Megumi was integral to the fight - he just needed to go through his emotional arc first.

I'm sure I'm missing things, I'm sure I forgot things. But this isn't college and I'm not writing for a grade. What I am is tired of both Megumi hate and Gege hate. Megumi is a well-written character who is good representation of depression (at minimum), and who is also not the fucking main character. Like, I'm sorry that the character you project your mental illness onto acts mentally ill, and I'm sorry your favorite character is a side character who is written like a side character. These things tend to happen.

Yes, obviously, more could have been done with him and the wrapping of his character (and all of the characters) if the ending wasn't rushed, but that's not Gege's fault. Blame capitalism if you want to point fingers. JJK isn't the first manga with a rushed ending for exactly that reason, and it won't be the last.

Okay, I have to force myself to stop talking or we'll be here forever but:

The ending of JJK is not "bad writing," it's the best outcome that could have happened given the time constraints and publication constraints.

I agree that it would have been nice to see acknowledgements from the characters of the trauma they went through, but also I think that those things realistically take time. I don't think it's unreasonable that their first instinct would be to pretend that everything is normal for as long as they can. However, Megumi was not handled poorly, and he was not abandoned by Gege, and Gege does not hate him. He was well-written start to finish, and he was given a lovely ending that leaves his future wide open for possibilities.

Take a deep breath and stop trying to be the loudest voice in the room. Look at the text and supplement it with reality and the hard truths of a really shitty work culture, and understand that being upset is valid, but it's not valid enough to justify seething hatred for a mangaka whose entire work you probably read for free <3

[idyllic-affections]

i’m in love with the kaveh disaster dad au you have and i would love to see alhaitham becoming closer with kavehs kid. like mr stoic over there having no idea where those books and supplies about that very niche thing they were talking about yesterday came from

newfound fondness.

summary. alhaitham grows a little more fond of the orphan kaveh insisted on adopting.

trigger & content warnings. no applicable warnings.

tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. fluff. alhaitham & child!reader. 0.9k words. they/them pronouns for reader.

author's thoughts. hello dear <3333 i really needed a shorter request to write bc all of my other requests are a bit more lengthy and i'm in just a little bit of a burnout state so i am delighted by this request. i love my adoptive dad kaveh series...... i also realize now that i don't really talk too much about alhaitham and his relationship with [name] compared to how often i talk about tighnari and kaveh's relationship with them. also cyno???? i have neglected him too??????

at first, alhaitham wasn't keen on bonding with kaveh's adopted child; a child would only disrupt the comfortable life he has both built for himself and worked so hard to maintain. of course... he ended up being wrong. terribly wrong.

all throughout [name]'s first few months of being integrated into their new family in sumeru, they don't spend much time—if any at all—in kaveh and alhaitham's shared house. most of their time is spend in gandharva ville or in sumeru city, the latter being either on the weekends with kaveh or throughout the week with tighnari (if he happens to need something from the city and decides to let them tag along). given this fact, it's not at all a surprise that they didn't really know much of alhaitham, aside from the casual mentions of him from their other sumeru family members.

later on, as kaveh slowly grows into the vacant father role in their life, filling the empty space, they start spending weekends at his house... which is really the scribe's house, but at the time, that detail meant nothing to them. alhaitham never bothers to correct them, either. it doesn't really matter.

sometimes kaveh has to run errands and doesn't want to take them out in the glaring midday sun; they didn't grow up in sumeru, and they're already having a hard time adjusting to the heat (not that he's any better at handling it), so he doesn't want to risk exposing them to the sun at the peak of the day. sometimes he has to go meet one of his clients for a consultation and can't take them with him. who knows? either way, kaveh always makes these trips as quick as possible. his weekends belong to no-one but his kid. his clients find his doting behavior very cute, thankfully, so he hardly ever takes long.

alhaitham is always home during these occurrences (kaveh forbids him from leaving, since he wouldn't so much as dream of leaving his child home alone at such a young and vulnerable age—not that the scribe would leave them home alone, but still). naturally, this led to unavoidable meetings.

alhaitham quickly picked up on the many odd behavioral patterns kaveh's child displayed.

they were quiet—with him, at least. they were happy and expressive like most other children their age with kaveh or tighnari or collei, but with him? they never said a word, only speaking when spoken to, quietly shuffling around the house without so much as a peep... but more importantly, he sure as hell noticed the way they'd peek around the wall and shyly watch him as he read. they never got closer than that, though, and they'd run off if they realized he had seen them. based on this, he simply came to the conclusion that they were shy.

...or anxious, he supposes, but there is a vast difference between anxiety and shyness, and what he sees in them is not necessarily anxiety.

eventually, he does get sick of it. it's not like he worried about coming off as intimidating, no. it's just that if [name] maintains a poor image of him, it would eventually be an inconvenience for him. yes, yes, that was all. he just needed to kill a potentially dangerous rumor at its source before it got vastly out of hand. that's all.

"come here."

the way he sounds when he beckons them over is admittedly a little harsher than what he meant to be, so he's very much glad that they still do come over to him, timidly fidgeting with their sleeves.

"since you seem so interested... sit down, i'll read to you."

"h— huh? really?"

"hurry up before i change my mind."

as alhaitham reads to them, he points out words they may not understand and explains what they mean, also going as far as to help them pronounce some words that they mentioned having trouble with back at gandharva ville.

"oh... tighnari showed me that word, but i can't get it right."

they also can't pronounce tighnari's name correctly, which makes alhaitham's lips quirk upwards ever so slightly.

"here... i'll show you. which word is it that you're having trouble with?"

though it is something of a tutoring session, alhaitham finds that there's something... calming about it. he doesn't bother moving them away as they gradually get closer, only adjusting to accommodate them.

he also doesn't say anything when their weight falls a little heavier on his chest.

...did they really feel safe enough to fall asleep, just like that? the thought makes a fond warmth spread in his chest. he has no intention of telling kaveh or anyone else, though.

kaveh comes home later to see his child curled up asleep in the scribe's arms.

(the second he points it out, which of course he does, alhaitham's cheeks flush a slight pink and he coughs, telling kaveh to come get his kid and claiming that they wouldn't leave him alone.

the architect has never rolled his eyes harder than he did at that.

alhaitham's newfound fondness is obvious, but kaveh decides to leave it alone for now.)

from then on, they are just as excited and bubbly when they see alhaitham as they are when they see any of their other family. he's even gotten accustomed to hoisting them up, balancing them on his hip, and just... carrying them around.

oh, and alhaitham has no idea where those hobby supplies came from. he's got no clue where those books on a hyper-specific topic that they mentioned offhandedly the other day came from. he has no clue. none in the slightest.

...

maybe alhaitham is a little soft for them. just a little.

please consider reblogging, it helps me out quite a lot!

[winryrockbellwannabe]

[25-31 may 2024] - no phone week 📵

Hello hello,

so, you may or may not have realized that I haven't post that much this last week. That's bc I've realized I've been spending a scary amount of time on my phone, and Im trying to reduce it in the most drastic way possible: deleting all apps from my phone

But, ofc, just switching to spending hours on my pc wouldn't be any better so i blocked some more distracting websites (i'm looking at you ao3), and got tumblr on the most agressive-towards-my-eyes theme possible so that I wouldn't be tempted to spend too much time in here.

This last week's screen time: saturday: 2h21 sunday: 4h04 monday: 2h20 tuesday: 3h50 wednesday: 5h53 - had a weakness moment and spent 3h10 on ao3 thursday: 3h35 (+ 4 hours on a video call, but I'm not counting that bc I was studying with a friend) friday: 3h30

So, what have I learned:

- First of all, I was originally low key unhappy about this, but then I realized my average screen time before this week was usually over 5 hours, which only happened once this week, so not that bad - this takes us to our second conclusion: I definitely spend too much time looking at this eletronic rectangle. And while I love it a lot for what it does for me - allows me to read about my blorbos, to talk to my friends and family, and a lot of other stuff, wasting regularly 5 hours on it is a bit too much for me personally

Where am I spending all this time?

- Shamefully, it's on ao3. Even on the lowest days, I spend at least half an hour in there. And while I love ao3, spending an average of over an hour and half on a daily basis during exams is a terrible terrible idea, but that is super hard for me to avoid. - The other problem is youtube. I am addicted to asmr to be able to fall asleep, but sometimes Im weak and I look at the screen during the video, and it makes me start reading or texting while I should be sleeping. And youtube shorts are also a problem.

Still, Im really happy with how productive I was this week and with my efforts to not spend that much time on my phone

Will definitely going to do more towards this during the next week, and I'll probably start posting daily again for accountability. And that's it, see you guyss <3

[sugar-omi]

oh my GOD SELF AWARE COVE HAS SO MANY POSSIBILITIES IM GONNA BE THINKING ABOUT THIS FOR AGES

JUST- the thought of Cove slowly realizing he’s going through a loop over and over and over and with every loop the MC starts to look and feel stranger and more far away to Cove and it’s driving him INSANE. Cove starts to keep track of these loops and notices that sometimes things get ever so slightly different or drastically different (say the players deciding to romance a different character or is doing a 100% platonic playthrough etc etc)

THE WHIPLASH COVE WOULD FEEL WHERE IN ONE LOOP THE MC IS ALL LOVEY DOVEY THEN IN THE NEXT THEYRE COLD AND INDIFFERENT TOWARDS HIM CAUSE THE MECHANIC OF COVE FEELING THE SAME WAY WOULD JUST BREAK UPON HIM BECOMING SELF AWARE

Cove having to deal with the feeling of closing his eyes as an adult only to open them and see he’s 8 years old again. What the hell just happened???? He was just at his own wedding with the love of his life and now he’s suddenly a crying child back on the poppy hill!!

AND THEN- and then Cove paying more attention to the MC as the loops go by and seeing them fade into this weird uncanny husk, they’re starting to feel more like a puppet than a person, and it terrifies him. What’s going on??? Are they okay?? Why is this happening to them????

Soon enough as he looks at the MC he finally notices and realizes that the MC “never existed”. This whole time the person he’s spent basically his entire life with never existed as someone in Coves world. No, instead they’re just a projection of someone else. Who? Coves not sure, but he feels like that whoever it is they’re the person who he’s actually been falling for over and over again.

And at that realization he come to the conclusion that he needs to meet this person beyond the veil, and he needs to meet them now.

This got kinda horror adjacent I apologize I got carried away-

NO THIS IS PERFECT

it tears him apart every time bc if you choose to romance someone else or not befriend/romance him, he can't say anything different since he doesn't have control over the system and he doesn't wanna alarm you

so he's forced to feel indifferent to you, and even in between he can't talk to you bc you're not real, the "you" that's here isn't interested in cove, and if "you" do take interest in him it's bc of the system, and everything is set in place as always

slowly he works out how to get to you, and he's leaning over you in his buff/lean, (tatted,) 6+ foot glory and teary eyed, asking why you keep playing with him, experimenting on him like this, making him watch you confess to baxter after he's loved you for 15 years. asking why you'd make that deal n choose his best friend derek over him.

well, it doesn't matter anymore. you can be together now, don't worry about his life in sunset bird, you can just build a life together just the two of you for now!!!

he actually prefers you like this compared to the game. you can say whatever you want without limits or prompting. and he can see your expression, hear your voice, actually touch you...

oh, and please don't go anywhere without him if possible or look at other men, fictional or real, with interest. he's everything you need, you've made him to fit your needs every time. you've came back to him hundreds of times in the end, so if you see smth you like on another man, cove will change his style, look, or behavior so just stop looking else were.

unless you can't, then he'll have to punish you. make you look him...

don't worry, he won't hurt you! he really could never do that, no matter how broken or.. well, twisted. he is

just wants to make sure you remember you're his, and he is yours. so if he makes you sit in his lap for hours, making you trace his face and body and features, telling him everything you love abt him inside and out, then just do it.

and if he decides to punish you in other ways, you can handle it right? you've played his 18+ dlc's multiple times, you read all those dirty stories abt him and you always kiss him n grope him when you can in the main game

he just wants to love you, and be loved by you for real. so indulge him a bit, won't you?

[mattsdae]

help wanted pt. 2

find pt. 1 here and pt. 3 here

content warnings: joe young x masc reader , phone sex , wet dreams , dacryphilia , referenced blowjobs (?) , kinda public sex , corruption kink obvs , a sprinkle of humiliation kink , handjobs , cumming on face (it was on accident i swear) , they kinda get caught , reader lies ab bible verses (shoutout to @doug-remer-milk-consumer for that one)

word count: ~4.3k

synopsis: joe often finds himself confused on set and asks you for help. in a time of need, you’re the only person he can think of to call.

a/n: this fic is probably gonna turn into a lowkey slowburn just bc i love joe and reader sm <3 also, just know that reader is kind of an unreliable narrator when it comes to characterizing joe just bc he assumes how joe feels without really asking, just keep that in mind lol

 joe hung up soon after he asked the question and never called back. he was a weird dude, you already knew that, but a part of you felt bad for what happened. you knew how devoted he was to his religion, but you now had the knowledge that he has some.. interests that don’t fit into that religion too well.

you didn’t work with him again for a month. for a while, you wondered if it were on purpose. at one point, you two were working together multiple times a week, now it was few and far between. you were adjusting the umbrella light when joe walked in. he kept his head down, even as dave told him good morning. he was usually nice enough to respond, though he did find some of dave’s compliments a little weird.

“what’s up his ass,” he muttered bluntly. you shrugged even though you knew exactly what was wrong. you thought about seeking him out and asking if he was okay, but you decided against it. if he wanted to talk, he’d talk.

the shoot went relatively smooth. he didn’t seem to be super into it, so a lot of the shots on his face would have to be cut, but that was actually pretty common for him. at first, you thought his lack of attraction was because of his abstinence, but now you had a different theory.

the man was gay. he’d never come to the conclusion himself, obviously, but it was starting to make itself more known to you. after hearing about his dream, you noticed more habits that were a little suspicious. first of all, he never found any of the women he’d shoot with attractive. that one would have been a blaring alarm if it weren’t for his religious practices. another thing was when certain guys from the crew talked to him. it was obvious who he found attractive. he’d get shy and try to end the conversation as soon as possible, even if it made the interaction awkward, which he did fairly often with you.

you also started to notice the way he’d glance at you, too. it took a while to really pay attention, but sometimes you’d catch him. his eyes would be big as he looked over you, staring a little harder at certain areas he found attractive, mostly focused on your arms or face. you once caught him staring at your dick as you talked to someone else, which made you laugh. he looked away as soon as he realized and luckily the conversation warranted a laugh, so nobody asked any questions.

it took a week after the shoot, nearly a month and a half without talking, when he called again. it was late, you rolled onto your side and drifting in and out of sleep while listening to your tv. you groaned when the phone rang, but stopped feeling as upset as you recognized his number. you answered.

“hello?” you rasped, rubbing your eyes as you leaned up on your elbows.

“i had another dream.” you blinked, trying to comprehend words.

“what?”

“i.. i had a dream about you. again.” he muttered.

“okay? and? i thought i taught you how to handle that.” if you weren’t half asleep and frustrated, you wouldn’t have said it. you probably would have taken advantage of the opportunity, but decided you were too tired to jack off with him.

“i tried but..” he trailed off for a second. “i couldn’t do it.”

“what do you mean you couldn’t..” oh.

“yeah..” he needed you to help him cum. even though it was 4 in the morning and he had clearly been trying for a while, he still couldn’t do it without you. you blushed a bit, realizing how much he actually needed you.

“you want me to talk to you?” you asked, voice still languid and raspy as he agreed. “tell me about your dream. it might give me some ideas.”

“we were on set.. for- for some reason we were starring together..” you squeezed your eyes shut, trying to will yourself to not get hard. “you.. you touched me and you kissed me.. and i liked it.”

“you liked when i touched your cock?” he whimpered at the word, but hummed in agreement soon after. “oh, baby.. you must be so desperate for me to touch you, hm? i’m sure you’ll want the real thing at some point.”

“mhm..” he nodded along, making quick work of himself as he listened to your voice. you rolled onto your back, stretching as you tried to wake yourself up a little more.

“i don’t even have to talk dirty, do i? just hearing my voice is enough for you, right?” he whines, moans starting to string together as he got closer. you knew he would cum quick. he was sensitive, which made his orgasm come quicker than most. he also spent a while trying to get off himself, which added to his sensitivity. “fuck, i love the noises you make. so pretty.. i wish i could hear it in person, but you’re too shy for that, huh? too scared?”

“n-no..” he sobbed, denying your words. it almost bordered on bullying what you said, but he still basked in your words, degrading or not. he moaned, muffling it as he covered his mouth. you tutted.

“don’t cover your mouth. i wanna hear your pretty little noises..” he clearly enjoyed that considering he almost instantly came. he let out loud, desperate moans as he thrusted into his hand. “good boy.. keep going for me.”

“t-too much..” he sobbed, still moving his hands along even after orgasm. you chuckled, enjoying how obedient he was. you rolled back over to your side.

“it’s okay. you’re doing so good. we just gotta make sure you’re all done, right?” he agrees, even though he started to feel overly sensitive. “you think you’re done?”

“yes, i-i’m done- i’m done,” he hiccupped. you knew there were tears streaming down his cheeks, his face probably puffy and red from embarassment and overstimulation.

“you can stop.” he sighed in relief, relaxing again. you listened to his breathing. every so often, he’d sniffle, but he never said anything. you expected him to hang up and avoid you like the plague again, but he stayed on the line. just you nearly broke the silence, he spoke up.

“can you stay for a minute?” his voice trembled, nervous for your answer. you chuckle.

“of coarse. i’m real tired though, so i might fall asleep,” you warn. he hums.

“i just.. i wanna talk.” you swallow, clearing your throat.

“a-about what?” you stumbled over your words.

“anything?” he responded. you licked over your lips, nervous. you never got like this. you were used to smooth talking and getting in a girls pants, not having a real conversation. “how was your day?”

“uhh, pretty good.. i went on a walk earlier which was nice. got chewed up by bugs, though.” he giggled, making your stomach churn.

“i know you’re supposed to love all creatures because god made them, but bugs are so hard to love! they always bite me!” he smiled. you laughed as well, enjoying the innocent conversation. “there’s this one trail that’s really nice this time of year, but you gotta be careful for snakes. you gotta wear pretty thick pants and boots so they don’t get you.”

“it’s, like, 100 degrees outside, though. i think i’d pass out from heat exhaustion before i left my apartment.” he laughed again.

“that’s a good point..” he thought for a moment, the line going quiet as he did so. you nearly fell back asleep before he spoke up again. “maybe we can go in the fall.”

“we?” you asked, wondering if he even understood the implication.

“yeah! it’ll be fun! we get to hang out in the woods and go hiking! i don’t get to do that with my old friends, but you can!” for some reason, you actually felt a little sad when he called you his friend.

“yeah, that does sound fun.” the line goes quiet again, this time you weren’t tired anymore. your heart raced as you tried to think rationally. you couldn’t though, only staring at the ceiling blankly as you thought about being with joe. it was a stupid idea for multiple reasons, but you couldn’t help warming up to the idea.

“i’m tired,” he mumbled, yawning. you nodded.

“me too.” silence. you thought about hanging up, but you let him make the decision. eventually he spoke up again, his voice drawn and mumbled.

“you really wanna hang out one day?” you felt sick, hands grabbing at your sheets as you agreed. you were just trying to make him feel good, right? he would be heartbroken if you said no. “okay. i’ll see what we can do.”

he didn’t speak again. you nervously waited for him to say something, but it never came. he must’ve fallen asleep at some point, so you hung up. you didn’t go to bed until the sunrise, too panicked to even think about sleeping.

you worked with joe again a week later. instead of being shy and avoidant, he now happily walked up to you and started conversation. you smiled and nodded along, but still felt that weird ache in your chest you couldn’t diagnose. he grinned, bouncing off of every joke you made with excitement. dave joined in once of twice, which neither of you really minded. joe was in a happy mood in general, so hopefully everything would go nice and smooth. eventually, he walked off, holding the script after dave gave him an extra he had on hand.

after a while of helping dave set up shots, joe came back. he didn’t look as relaxed anymore, now holding the script tightly in front of him as he stood behind you. he chewed on his lip, flesh already tender and inflammed as he waited for you. for a while, you expected him to make himself known, but he didn’t.

“what’s up,” you started. he looked around, making sure nobody was paying attention. dave was too busy talking to the new guy to notice and everyone else were just showing up, going off to put their stuff down and make small talk. he leaned close, whispering.

“can you help me out?” he asked. you nod, stifling a smile as he lead you to his dressing room. another question from the script, the main fantasy both of you held. he stood as you sat on the couch. another awkward silence filled the room, joe clearly having trouble talking to you.

“what do you need help with, man?” the script crinkled in his grip as he clinched his fists, avoiding eye contact. you waited for a second before speaking up again. “you gotta tell me what you want. i can’t read minds, you know.”

“what was the word you used for the dream i had?” he mumbled. a moment passed where you thought, trying to figure out what he was talking about. it clicked.

“a wet dream?” he tensed up a bit, head now hanging low as he started to turn red. you’d never get over his reactions to your words.

“y-yeah. do you.. remember what it was about?” he started rubbing his hands over his pants, trying to ground himself.

“the first one or the second one?” he huffed, realizing he did have multiple dreams about you.

“first one..”

“yeah, a little.” you acted like you didn’t think about his dreams while masturbating more often than not. it wasn’t the dream itself that turned you on, more that he dreamt of it. the idea of him waking up in the middle of the night, unable to wrap his head around what happened and being forced to call you, the one he dreamt about, made you more aroused than any porno ever could.

joe walked stiffly towards the couch, sitting next to you as he held out the script. his arm covered his crotch, which only made you more interested.

“it was a lot like this.” you nodded and flipped halfway through, skipping over all the cheesy buildup and glancing over some of the lines. after a while of reading the pages, you shut the packet again and gave it back. it was a basic porn script where joe was supposed to get head from a girl, nothing special.

“i’m assuming you thought about me instead of the girl?” you joked but he didn’t respond to it. you patted his thigh. “it’s all good, man. everyone has a wet dream every once in a while; it’s a part of being human.”

“but.. you’re a guy.” you nodded. clearly your explaination of just helping each other out didn’t suffice. you thought for a second before responding.

“well, you know eve was made from adam’s rib, right?” he nods. “then eve really isn’t that different to adam and you aren’t that different to me. it’s one in the same, you know?”

“i never really thought of it that way.” you nearly cooed at how gullible he is. you knew he never thought of it that way because every word was bullshit and would most likely send you to hell if god were real, but he still nodded along. “are you sure?”

“i’m sure.” you wrapped your arm around him and he leaned in, his head resting on your chest for a moment. if it weren’t for the lie you just told him, you might’ve cherished the moment.

“so my dreams aren’t bad?” he sounded so ashamed, his hands still gripping at his pants. he almost pouted as he asked, finally looking up at you and making eye contact. you stomach did a flip, his sweet expression physically hurting you.

“of coarse not, dude. i think it’s kinda nice,” you smile. his eyes widen, glimmering like a puppy’s you tell them how good they are.

“really?” you nod. he leans back into your arms. it really was sweet, his head resting against you as you rubbed his arm. “can i tell you something? and you can’t be mad.”

“shoot.” he tensed up again, slightly pulling away.

“i have.. jeez, i can’t say it.” his head fell forward, gripping at his pants again. you take your arm back, letting him letting him pull away fully. his hands covered himself again.

“it’s fine, man. you can show me if you can’t say it.” you tried not to assume anything, but you were proven correct as he pulled his hands away. an obvious bulge showed and you almost looked away from instinct. you never looked at another dude’s dick before, but it also felt wrong to avoid looking. you talked him through an orgasm while personally fantasizing about how he looked, cock and all, so why were you suddenly scared of it?

“i’m sorry..” he teared up, making you actually coo.

“aww, don’t apologize. do you want me to touch you?” you spoke gently, as if one wrong word would make him break. it probably would, considering he was already on the verge of crying from shame.

“i’m not sure,” he whimpered. you nodded, placing your hand on his thigh and rubbing.

“it’s okay. we don’t start filming for another hour or so. you can try using what i taught you again!” he blushed, facing away from you fully. you leaned close. “there’s nothing to be ashamed about, man. every guy’s had a boner in public.”

he groaned, leaned forward and covering his face. you patted his back, wondering if anyone noticed you were gone. it’d been several minutes and dave really needed your help. you leaned down again.

“i’m gotta get back to set. if you need me, just grab me, okay?” he nodded with a dramatic whine. dave asked a couple of questions before concluding that you took a shit on set. you laughed along with the jokes, even making some yourself, as you basically trained the new guy on how to set things up.

another 20 minutes pass and you were squating down on the ground, pointing out what gear was needed. you start to feel someone staring at you and as you turn, you make eye contact. joe had his head poked out from the hallway, staring at you with big eyes. he waved towards himself, pouting. you stood.

“give me just a second, i need the bathroom.” you walked away as dave threw some jokes at you. turning the corner, joe immediately dragged you into his dressing room. he shut the door behind him and quickly went to the couch to sit down.

“i-i tried,” he stuttered, raking his fingers through his hair and almost panting.

“you tried what?”

“i tried to do what you.. taught me.. but it still didn’t work. i-i think i need help.” he rambled, starting to cry. you nodded, stepping closer and crouching down to his level.

“hey, hey, it’s okay. you don’t gotta cry, man..” he nodded, wiping his tears and trying to hide his face. you rub his legs. “i can help. i just wanna make sure you’re okay with that.”

“i need you..” he whines, not even realizing what he said. you stifle a moan and continue to rub his legs. he looked down at you with a pout.

“what do you want me to do, baby?” you ask, your hand finding their way to the imprint on his slacks, massaging along the way. he relaxes into the touch, adjusting his position so he was on the edge of the couch.

“can you what you did in my dream?” he asked a little too quick. you nod, smiling at the idea of him jacking off to his own dream of you sucking him off, before realizing that meant you had to suck him off, not some fantasy version of you he made up. your face flushed as you squeezed, a little surprised by the size. you didn’t have expectations going in, but he could definitely do more pornos based on size. he whimpered as you touched him.

“you want me to give you head?” he lets out a cry, still humiliated by your words. most people wouldn’t think twice about the term, but joe felt himself melt as he heard it. “say it out loud. i need you to say yes or no.”

“yes..” his voice trembled.

“and..?” you waited as he tried to form the words, but consistantly falling short. you let go and he whines, grabbing your wrist.

“no, no, no- please, y/n. please- i need it..” he begged. you shook your head.

“i need to hear you say it before i can do it.”

“i-i want you to.. oh- i need you to give me h-head.” the words sounded foreign coming from his mouth. you’d never heard him speak like this genuinely, which only made you feel that corruptive urge again. you supressed a smile as he sniffles.

“good boy,” you praise. he whimpers as you touch him again. you feel him up, experimenting with what he liked before finding out he seemed to really enjoy the rougher squeezes. you ran your thumb over his clothed tip before fully gripping him. his back arched and a string of noises came out with only a few words thrown in.

“ah, ah, please-“ he sobbed still gripping your wrist harshly. you used your free hand to push it away, earning another hearty whine. you kissed his inner thigh, him shivering as he felt your breath against his thigh.

“keep your hands by your side. don’t want you getting too excited, right?” he nods, still oblivious to the jabs. you loved it, him innocently agreeing to you, even as you degraded and humiliated him. he plants both hands to his sides, gripping the cushions as you kiss again. you continued your little pecks up and up, making him tremble and melt. eventually you found yourself inches away from his cock, nerves stopping you from continuing. “you know, i’ve never done this before, right?”

“really?” he looked down at you, eyes lighting up when he realized that you also still had first times to experience, not just him. you nod. you weren’t really trying to be reassuring, but it was nice to see him become more confident in your dynamic.

“yeah, so you’re gonna have to tell me if you like it.” you said, but you wouldn’t be suprised if he found everything arousing. he nods, his eyes flicking between you and his cock. “you wanna watch, baby?”

he nods again, his face getting warmer by the second as yours did. if you didn’t know any better, you’d think he was also into this. maybe he liked being corrupted, the humiliation of not knowing what was happening or the having words to express it. you unbuckle his belt, tapping his leg to get him to lean up. he does and watched you pull his boxers and pants down in one motion.

his legs tried to close around you, attempting to hide from exposure. for a moment, you hesitated. you’d never slept with a guy. you never touched a guy, never kissed a guy, hell, you never even liked a guy. now, you were on your knees in front of a mormon of all people with his dick in your face. you chewed on your lip, thinking.

“you don’t have to if you don’t want to,” he said quickly. you look up at him. even though he was clearly desperate to feel your mouth on him, he must’ve seen how nervous you were, which made you smile. you nod.

“how about this: i touch you and if i feel comfortable blowing you later, i will.” he shivered at the terms you used, but agreed either way. it took you a few seconds to work up the courage to touch him. you experimented, running the very tip of your fingers down the underside, causing him to sigh heavily. with a little more motivation from his noises, you wrapped your hand around him.

running your hand up and down with little grip, you stopped towards the head. you rubbed circles right under the tip, smiling when his hips bucked. he whimpered, trying to keep himself still. his fingers dug into the couch as you stimulated him, almost the same way you’d do a girl’s clit. and just like a girl, he moaned nice and high.

even with his nails digging into the leather, it wasn’t enough. soon, he let go and grabbed at your hair, needing to touch. you whimper as he tugged, quickly apologizing. he wasn’t pushy like most guys would when they got a hold of somebody’s hair, instead detangling knots to make up for yanking your hair, only to do it again everytime you hit a sensitive spot.

with new found confidence, you started touching him the same way you did yourself. a rough grip, of which made him sob and squirm, and quick jerks. he almost wailed, fingers letting go of your locks and grabbing your shirt. the material bunched up into his hands before he let it go and grabbed onto your shoulder.

his hips bucked again, your free hand holding onto his hip and pinning it down. he whined, trying to take your hand away but obeying when your grip tightened. even though you originally used this as an excuse to not to give him head, you started to question how you really felt. his precum formed pretty little droplets, your fingers quickly wiping over it for lubricant. once another leaked out, you leaned forward, tongue quickly lapping over the liquid. your eyebrows furrowed, almost cringing at the taste before being distracted by his high pitched moan. his grip on your shoulder tightened and so did yours on his cock. you glanced up at him, making eye contact.

“a-ah!” he yelped, immediately ejaculating. you turned your head away, gritting your teeth as he came all over your hand and your body. he panted above you, whimpering as you let go. “i’m sorry- i’m sorry-“

he quickly apologized before he even finished, hips still bucking against your hand. you held your breath, trying to find the power in you to not freak out over another man’s jizz on your body. you looked back at him.

his cheeks were red, eyes wide and quickly flicking between each drop of cum on you. his chest rose and fell quickly as he adjusted himself, keeling over a bit as the tip dragged against the couch. he whimpered from overstimulation, still apologizing.

“it’s fine, man..” your voice strained, grabbing at a random shirt on the ground and wiping the side of your face before letting out the breath you’d been holding. “happens to the best of us.”

“here.” he grabbed the shirt from you, wiping over your hair and your neck before handing it back. he saw the tensed expression on your face and physically deflated at it. “i-i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to.. it just- i’m sorry.”

“i promise, it’s fine.” you wiped off your hand before discarding that shirt and grabbing another to hand him, letting him clean up. he took it. “i just.. wasn’t expecting it.”

both of you jumped as someone knocked on the door. he called out a quick ‘just a minute’ before quickly pulled up his pants as you stood, trying to find some place to hide. you huffed, not finding anywhere good and sitting next to joe.

“what are you doing?” he whisper-yelled. you grabbed the script and held it between you.

“helping you out with the script.” he nodded before saying ‘come in’. dave poked his head in.

“there you are! we’re starting in 5, you two. oh, and y/n, i need your help with this light.” you nod, stepping towards him. he held his hand out, making you stand still for a moment. he glanced over your body before chuckling. “i’m fucking with you. i just wanted to see if that was really cum on your shirt.”

your stomach dropped as he shut the door, suddenly feeling the urge to vomit. the room was silent before you slowly turned and saw the look of horror on joe’s face, completely still and not breathing.

somehow, you comforted him enough to leave the room within 5 minutes while finding something to put on that wasn’t soaked in joe’s cum. luckily, the new guy fucked up one of the cameras and they had to call the shoot off, rescheduling for the next day. knowing how anxious joe was, it felt like a blessing. you now stood outside, smoking a cigarette as you waited for dave to come tell you what time you needed to come in. joe stepped out the door, and slowly walked towards you, avoiding eye contact.

“i’m sorry.. again.” joe stood next to you. almost everyone left, everyone else already fed up and opting for dave to call them instead of waiting. you shrugged, flicking the ash away from him.

“it’s all good. at least i got a new shirt out of it,” you chuckle. he didn’t laugh, instead awkwardly looking away for a few minutes before walking off. “i’ll see you tomorrow.”

he didn’t respond and you’d never admit it, but it hurt a little.

[warriorofthesky]

today in i think too much about destiny lore, here's my current belief re the unveiling, the veil, the witness & the darkness:

spoilers for season of the deep of course

put your spinfoil hats on honestly lol

the truth in the darkness... according to the witness

i haven't seen many people talking about the "finding truth in the darkness" aspect of the cutscene but it's one of the most fascinating to me. what does that even mean? if we take the veil as the ~window into the mind and memory of the universe~, does this mean the witness well, witnessed the universe from the beginning?

i think so, based on one of ahsa's lines ("glimpse beyond... to the beginning"). so, assuming the witness got a glimpse of how the universe came into the existence, i think the unveiling is the witness' interpretation of said event. there's two ways of thinking about this: this is really the witness passing on the words of the darkness/winnower as it received it (press x to doubt) or it is a very biased interpretation of what it saw in the darkness.

i think the latter is more likely bc of the hints we have that the darkness by itself isn't malicious or bad (the witness giving "the darkness a wicked shape" etc etc). the witness was desperate for a purpose, one that the traveler wouldn't give. i think that, whatever it was that it saw when it communed with the darkness/veil, said desperation was enough to completely misrepresent it so it could make itself the winnower it thought the universe needed. in a way, the witness made itself into the first knife bc it believe the first knife was necessary. i don't believe the clash between light and dark (or gardener & winnower) ever happened the way it is depicted in the unveiling, with the gardener wanting to break the rules and the winnower going "hell no". i think the witness interpreted it in that way so it could give itself the purpose it craved so badly.

(also, an interesting idea is that the witness saw the future as well when it communed with the veil, and the unveiling is depicting the future in a way. sure it talks about it happening before time yadda yadda, but what if 1. the gardener breaking the rules = the traveler uplifting the witness' people, 2. the winnower going hell no = the darkness/veil communing with the witness' people & making the witness' ppl "realize" the light is too chaotic & 3. the winnower discovering the first knife = the witness turning on the traveler when it refused to be merged with the veil, which set off the witness down a path of quite literally winnowing the universe for eons to come? not very likely imo (especially with how the unveiling is written) but it popped up in my head and now i'm making it everyone else's problem).

so the truth in the darkness according to the witness is that the light is breaking the rules/is too chaotic/has no reason or purpose. its truth is the final shape.

but, if we are taking the second option here and this is all in the witness' head, what is the real truth in the darkness?

the truth in the darkness... despite the witness

the witness saw the beginning of the universe and somehow came to the conclusion that the final shape was not only inevitable but the only truth the universe could have. if we agree that the witness is very much wrong, we are still short of what could have made it believe it isn't. what could it possibly have seen in the beginning of the universe (or the time since) that made it believe the final shape is a thing?

i have no idea lol but i think it's interesting that the traveler was... buried? beneath the sands of the witness' world. it apparently didn't garden around the universe before that. the witness might have been the first people the traveler ever uplifted... or at least the first in a long time. it fled when the witness tried to link it to the veil, maybe because it didn't want to, you know, remake reality itself based on the nonsense of the witness, but maybe there is another reason as well.

dreams of alpha lupi depict the traveler as very powerful but also very diminished, very afraid and not whole. it has this interesting line:

"And it is your children you must turn to now, in time of need."

which kinda reflects something ikora says in the last entry to this season's lore book, purpose:

"It never came to us to uplift us. It came to us for help."

which, of course, probably means help against the witness. but i think there is a possibility that it means the witness and something more. as far as we know, the traveler was already diminished when the witness found it. in fact, the traveler depicted in dreams of alpha lupi doesn't even seem to remember much at all about itself or what came before. it's been running and it's desperate. it remembers being attacked (with a "knife"... which just complicates things even more) and it remembers being more but that's it.

so what caused the traveler to be diminished before it met the witness? before lightfall the witness never managed to actually hurt the traveler in any way (as far as the cutscene implies). the traveler noped out of there before it could make the link. so it was hurt before that. before it somehow ended up buried beneath the sands of some alien world.

so:

who or what hurt the traveler so badly?

how did it get there?

why is the veil in outer space while the traveler is buried? is this a case of them spawning into the universe and things growing around them? i find it very unlikely tbh

would the traveler be okay with reuniting* with the veil if it wasn't for the witness' bonkers reasoning to do so?

who or what hurt the traveler so badly?

one option is the veil, or whatever lies beyond the veil. maybe the darkness is bad after all. but i don't think so. it would be weird from a narrative perspective to go from darkness bad to darkness neutral to darkness bad yet again. but it is an option i guess.

another option is... something else. a force that isn't light or dark. the vex? the aphelion, or whatever the aphelion came from/is part of? who knows!

though why hasn't this thing come back to finish the job is a question i can't even begin to answer.

how did it get there?

maybe it crash landed there after being wounded? or was it hiding there already?

which makes me wonder if the veil is wounded in the same way (assuming it wasn't the veil who hurt the traveler, of course). the veil doesn't seem to be mobile like the traveler is, and whatever free will it has can't be exactly measured right now... which is a bit similar to the confused, diminished state of the traveler tbh.

why is the veil in outer space while the traveler is buried?

is this a case of the veil being the baddie here and so it had no reason to do anything but chill in outer space? or were they both set adrift after both were wounded?

would the traveler be okay with reuniting* with the veil if it wasn't for the witness' bonkers reasoning to do so?

*reuniting under an asterisk here because i'm not sure we can take ahsa's (the witness'?) word that this is a reunion and not first contact.

i guess it depends on whether the veil was the one that hurt the traveler or not. maybe they were one once and that's why both are possibly diminished. but maybe they were meant as independent beings who should never be linked. again, who knows.

the darkness is bad.

honestly this all could be much simpler. maybe the darkness is bad, at least in the sense of the unveiling, where it wants the final shape just like the witness does. maybe the witness communing with the veil is akin to eve listening to the snake in the garden. this all could be happening bc the veil convinced the witness that the traveler is a problem bc the veil is the winnower and the winnower wants its flower game left alone.

but the traveler wasn't gardening before the witness (apparently) so it wasn't like it was influencing the flower game that much. idk.

imo, i find the idea of something other than the witness being the reason the traveler is weaker now fascinating. it does run the risk of falling into the "bigger bad" trope, but i guess it depends on how it is executed. the witness once being mortal opened the gates to there being stuff out there who was never mortal and is much more primordial/ancient than the witness (maybe contemporary to the traveler or even older, who tf knows). it also could be a nice hook for a post light & dark saga - dealing with whatever hurt the light and maybe the darkness, for example.

idk. every time i think i understand where this game is going i find some older piece of lore that changes everything so. tldr: im still confusion?

[strqyr]

Puts my hands on the table. I just realized something and I need your thoughts, whenever you get around to this ask

I don't think Oz ever actually tried to destroy Salem. Jinn said he came to that conclusion, but that he "knew he couldn't rid the world of her through any mortal means" (an obvious conclusion, you don't need to try other ways when she was cursed by the gods). So bc of that, he sought out Jinn, and she gave him the answer- "You can't."

There's nothing to imply he ever tried to destroy her if you look at what's being said and how it's being framed. He didn't try before or after, and him wanting her gone seems to be framed as a last resort- and something that he believed was tied to his task. If he couldn't destroy her, he couldn't fulfill his promise, and well... she can't be destroyed, and I don't think Oz is the kind of guy to try anyways, especially since Jinn is a being of knowledge.

The decision to destroy Salem wasn't something he came to lightly and that's pretty clear. If he's told he can't, then he won't try. And since destroying Salem was tied to fulfilling his task in his mind, I think he gave up on his task bc of that.

I think now he has a different reason for not fulfilling his task (whether that's actually agreeing with Salem, or him stalling, etc), especially since I think after that whole. Gestures. Revelation, he went hermit mode for centuries (who wouldn't tbh) and then met the first Maidens who reignited his hope in humanity (he shares a lot of his current view in humanity with Salem, even if he's a bit more cynical than her).

Idk. Gestures. I don't think he ever tried actually destroying Salem, it was a last resort idea he had after his circle was destroyed, and it was shot down immediately by Jinn. I also don't think he ever tried erasing her from history, since there's 2 popular fairytales connected to her and honestly doing so would just be out of character (I have a post explaining my reasoning on that).

yeah, the way the scene is framed with oz, both in past and present after jinn tells him he can't destroy salem, makes it pretty clear to me that that was the end of any attempts at trying to get rid of salem for him..

like, he didn't have a plan beyond that for how to defeat salem; he admits as much when asked. all he had was the relics and a plan to keep them as safe as possible.

the exact timeline of ozma's many lives and what happened when and why are unclear as of yet, but i feel like after his questions to jinn, he mainly focused on lessening the burden on himself—i.e. making the maidens the keys to the vaults—so that all of it doesn't literally hinge on him; not only is one person holding that much power (in terms of possessing all the relics with no one to stop them) a dangerous path to walk, but it also means salem would have to go through only him to get the relics.

if there's any truth to the indecisive king, then i suppose he might have gone through a time when he tried to scramble for more answers / ways to deal with salem, but that would have clearly been another fruitless endeavor, so back to square one it is.

as for what oz has been trying to do re: salem with the fairy tales, i get less "trying to erase her existence" and more "if you see this person, RUN"; the chill don't actually turn the skin of those they possess pale white with red lines snaking across their necks and arms, as well as turning their hair white, but rather it's a detail from another fairy tale about a white witch in the woods that has been conflated with the grimm child because of other striking similarities between the two tales, and ozpin chose to include that version in his book for Obvious Reasons lol

now, one might wonder if there's any need to warn people of a person who looks like a grimm—i would imagine most people on remnant would walk the other way very quickly anyway—but i guess it adds a bit more haste to their step if a grimm capable of possession that is most certainly fatal and body-hopping is added to the mix.

[askamnesiamoonjumper]

🫂

(🫂: Comforting hugs)

WOE MJ COMING OUT BE UPON YE (though should be noted this isn’t 100% how it happens in the final fic in my head, example being I tweaked some dialogue to not have references to spoilers and made it just be Mj and Snatcher, where as in my head I think Delilah would also be there :3 but yeah I have no clue how I actually got myself to write this I was fully expecting to fail horribly at this bc of my motivation sucking ass but welp here we are ig?) (also note this is taking place during the timeskip but I think everyone here already knows that about femmj) anyway, enjoy!!

(Tw for accidental misgendering)

——————————————

“…So, are you going to tell me what’s eating you?”

“Mm-m”

“Moonboy you know I can’t hear you with your face in the pillow like that.”

Moonjumper flinched at the nickname, he doesn’t know. She had to remind herself. 

The two sat in the corpses room, with said corpse having their form pressed into the pillows of their bed, as their brother sat at the end to question their odd behavior lately. 

Moonjumper tilted their head away from the pillow to unmuffle their words. “I said no— it… it’s fine, Snatcher, really.” 

“Yeah, and my name is the Twilight Goat, I’m not falling for that Moon, now fess up.” He gave a deadpan look, a hint of annoyance inching its way into his tone. 

“Snatcher really, it’s—”

“I know it’s not fine. Now. Talk.”

“No, it’s—”

“No, you’ve had yourself locked up in here throwing yourself a little pity party all week! So what’s going on? Because I’m not leaving until you say why!” The ghost snapped. 

The two were left in silence, Moonjumper bit their lip uncomfortably and buried their face back into the pillow, clutching it tighter between her claws. Why couldn’t she just tell him? It would solve both of their problems wouldn't it? 

“I…” Moonjumper tried but the words died on her lips. 

Snatcher simply gave them a sympathetic but simultaneously tired look, one that said he knew far too well what they were feeling right now, oh the joys of being one in the same— you know every little trick and act the other knows. All the same horrible coping and communication skills, like a snake eating its own tail. 

The ghost sighed, “Look— I didn’t mean to get mad. I’m just… worried. You know how I am.” He looked off to the side, shoulders slumping. 

Moonjumper nodded, she knew, she knew he was worried— who wouldn’t be after you realize the pattern over the years that your sibling shuts down through self isolation. A painful habit from the Horizon. Who wouldn’t realize the spirit hadn’t been seen all week and come to the conclusion they’re rotting away in their room, wallowing in their own misery over something that couldn’t even be. Who wouldn’t come check on them, who wouldn’t worry. 

“I know…” Moonjumper whispered, turning over to better face him, “I just…” she blinked a few times, tears rung the corners of her eyes, “I… just don’t think you’d get it…” they looked off to the side. I know you’d understand, I know you won’t care, but I care, I care so much, and it's killing me, it’s killing me how much I care. 

Snatcher only stared at them, “Try me.” He prompted.

The spirit looked up at him upon hearing the words, it’s not you, it’s me, it’s not you, it’s not your fault, it’s not that you won’t get it, it's not that you won’t understand, it’s that I can’t say it, my mouth goes dry just thinking about it, so how in the world could I possibly say it?

Moonjumper slowly sat upright, holding the thick pillow in their lap, suffocating the poor fabric into their chest, “…I…” try again, “I’m—…“ again, “it’s just that— …that I-“ one more time, “I think— no- I am—! I mean— I…” 

“I’ll be here all day, Moonboy.” Snatcher gave an amused look at their failed attempts at the words, though it wasn’t hostile, or the typical harsher teasings he gave, it had a softness he only showed now to them, after all the years that had passed, the kind of softness his past self would gag at seeing from himself. 

There it was, the nickname, …it’s now or never. 

“That!” Moonjumper scrunched their eyes shut, “that— that's the issue.” They mumbled.

Snatcher blinked in pure confusion, “…What?” 

“Th- the name…? Um… that.” She sat up a bit straighter, not looking at anything in particular. “Can you… not call me that…?”

Snatcher was silent, before laughing a bit under his breath, “Wh- the nickname!? Was that what this was all about!?” 

“N- no, Snatcher it’s…” their voice trailed quieter. 

“Haha— You- you had yourself locked up in here for that!?” He laughed, continuing on.

“There’s more to it th—!”

“What? Did you think I would steal your soul over it or something!? Ahahaha—!” 

“Snatcher I'm not a boy!” The words came out as one sound, like ripping away a bandaid, get the pain over with. 

Snatcher froze, his laughter instantly disappeared, he looked at the other, eyes wide before his brows furrowed, bright gold lights looking into amaryllis red irises that shook and shivered with tears that lined the corners of their eyes. 

“You— …what…?” His voice was a complete 180, hushed and silent like the wind, rather than booming and loud like a thundering hurricane. 

Moonjumper bit her lip, desperately blinking the tears away from her eyes, “I— I…” she hicced, voice trembling against her will. She simply let her head fall down, burying her face into the pillow in her grasp, harshly digging her fingers into the cloth coated stuffing. 

Snatcher shifted on the bed, scooting closer to the spirit, “Woah, woah, hey, Moon— it’s ok, I didn’t—“ he didn’t finish his sentence, as he spoke while he moved, bringing his claw to his siblings— (possibly sisters? He wasn’t going to ask just yet,)— shoulder, to which they wordlessly understood where the gesture was leading, shoving the pillow to the floor and diving into his arms. Snatcher was still in shock from the quick hug for a second, before he eased into the embrace, wrapping his arms around the others shoulders as they sobbed silently. 

Moonjumper let the tears slip down their face, allowing themself to relax in his hold, the heat of his fire magic helping tremendously, as they let their form slowly limp against his warm chest, keeping their hold around his back tight though, as their head rested comfortably in the crook of his spectral neck. 

Her sobs slowly died down, but the two remained like that together, wordlessly in each other's embrace 

“So…” Snatcher began, “Do I have a sister, or…?”

Moonjumper laughed quietly, “Maybe~” she sang. “…But, um, I don’t mind you still calling me your sibling, that part is staying the same.” She added in a more serious tone. 

“Got it.” He nodded, “Just no more ‘he’, then? ‘Brother’, ‘Moonboy’, none of that?” He asked to double check. 

Moonjumper shook her head, “I don’t think so, no.” She mumbled. 

“Alright, good to know.” He mused. 

The two were silent yet again, simply resting into the other's arms. Moonjumpers' breathing slowed, dying out into dead emptiness as they stopped forcing it to show itself. 

“So… why were you so upset? Isn’t this a good thing?” Snatcher asked. 

Moonjumper looked at nothing for a moment, biting their tongue in their mouth to think of the words. 

“It’s just…” she shifted, finally breaking the hug to demonstrate— “Well, Snatcher look at me! I’m dead!” They held out their arms, gesturing to their form.

The ghost blinked, “Well, Yeah, so am I. What’s the issue here? That isn’t exactly able to stop me from calling you different things, is it?” He laughed slightly. 

Moonjumper huffed, “it’s not just that— it’s- my form is what’s wrong— it’s my body, not just the words.” They explained, hands motioning as she spoke, “And… and anything that I think of I know wouldn’t do anything— medicine would just absorb into my magic, and- and I couldn’t go to any kind of doctors because— well, one, they probably wouldn’t even take spirits for patients, and two, even if they did, they wouldn’t know how my biology works!? Hell, I hardly do!” She continued to motion her hands, waving them out exaggeratedly at the last part before they fell down into being crossed against her chest, as the corpse huffed, looking off to the side. Her eyes looked at nothing intently, the ghost across from her watched as tears began to build in her eyes once more. 

Moonjumper turned to him, “Snatcher, don’t you get it?” She said in a desperate, defeated tone, “I can’t have it.” 

Snatcher looked at the corpse in sympathy, watching as they looked down, nails clutching tighter into their crossed arms. 

“And how do you know that?” He finally spoke.

Moonjumper sniffled, before looking up to him with wide eyes. “P… pardon?” She said in a shaky voice. 

“How do you know you can’t.” He repeated, deadpan. 

“I— …I just told you?” They said in confusion.

“And what if you’re just jumping to conclusions.” He challenged.

“I…” the spirit didn’t have any words. …Huh. They hadn’t… considered that… 

…They supposed that was what happened when you made an echo chamber of your own negative thoughts for days straight… 

“Well?” Snatcher broke her from out of her head.

Moonjumper only blinked a few times, trying to sort through their thoughts, before she laughed weakly. “I- I guess you have a point…!” She smiled tiredly, a bittersweet sadness rung in her face, as she still managed a toothy grin despite that. 

Snatcher seemed satisfied with that, bringing himself closer once more and hugging the other again. “Even if all that nonsense does turn out to be true, I’ll make sure we find a way, promise.” He leaned his head back away from the hug, pressing his forehead against hers.

Moonjumper laughed airily under her breath, “O- okay.” She shakily breathed out with a smile, easing her head against his.  

“That’s more like it.” Snatcher said in encouragement. “…Glad we talked, Moongirl.” He added. 

Moonjumper paused, her brain freezing up trying to comprehend the words, the nickname hitting her like a train. Once it sunk in, a warm fuzziness she didn’t know existed filled her form, making her smile stretch more as she dizzily pressed her forehead further into Snatchers, letting her eyes slip shut in her newfound haze of bliss. “Yeah…” She echoed the sentiment, “…Glad we talked.” 

[rollercoasterwords]

same anon who is fretting left and right abt r and s and everyone else ;_; i love having ur insight and thank u kindly for the long answer…. exactly what i wanted *evil laughter* but i have a follow up!

this might be too far into spoiler territory tho…. another Painful element of this beautiful fic is the lack of love between s and j it’s KILLING MEEEE (as always in the best way) not seeing them as they usually are… will we ever get any s+j friendship crumbs? or is this just not possible within the world you’ve created? i trust ur Vision either way i’m just gnawing at the bars of my prison cell thinking about the possibilities…..

hmmm yeah i feel like i can’t really talk abt like. what’s going 2 happen w them without getting too spoilery (although my usual like…wip policy applies here lol if you absolutely want them 2 be friends stop reading if u absolutely don’t want them 2 be friends stop reading be ready 4 it 2 go either way etc) but! i can talk a bit abt like. how james currently feels where we’re at in the fic & how his feelings have changed

what i've been trying 2 do w j + s in this fic is like. well clearly they hated each other at the beginning bc s sees this arrogant pigheaded order soldier whereas j sees this entitled foolish d.e. & that starting animosity is pretty intense, although it's a bit more personal 4 s--j is like. one of the first order members he's knowingly met + becomes kind of his warden in a way so he pretty specifically hates j whereas for j s is just one of many d.e. he's encountered before so he doesn't really hold a grudge in the same way once they start working together, although he also isn't quick 2 trust s bc unlike his brother s didn't join the order of his own accord (obv. reg didn't exactly join of his own accord, either, but that's pretty much how j sees it).

so when they do actually start working together j is like. well this guy's gotta prove himself if he wants me 2 trust him but once s does start proving himself he's pretty willing 2 put the old animosity aside, and he views s as part of their team--hence him risking his life 2 go back & save s, etc. s, on the other hand, is holding a personal grudge & specifically does not like j so even when j starts acting a bit friendlier towards him he's still like. hmph. bc while j is like "oh holding u prisoner was nothing personal obviously it was just what we had 2 do 4 the order" for s it was very much personal! lol

anyway despite the grudge etc. they do both mutually begin 2 realize that they have certain key similarities--specifically, the fact that they both feel responsible for the people they care about & would do pretty much anything 2 protect them, even if it's something those people wouldn't want them to do. so when we reach this point where they need 2 break into the dept. of mysteries, they both end up reaching the same conclusion abt how they're going 2 have 2 do that, and realizing that they've both reached that same conclusion kind of bolsters that mutual respect they're developing 4 each other. so there's sort of this truce struck while they're planning s's obliviation, where they still aren't friends exactly & probably wouldn't go so far as 2 say they like each other, but they're also like...the only people who can kind of understand what the other one is going thru + sacrificing (as in the convo in the james pov where s says 'they're all gonna hate us,' etc), and in a way it's nice 2 have someone who understands u in a way the others can't...also s going thru w this whole plan has made j respect him a lot more & view them as much more similar in terms of both being practical (and ruthless) enough 2 place larger goals above their own well-being + being willing 2 do things that will make their loved ones hate them as long as it keeps those loved ones safe. so j's feelings towards s have obviously changed quite a bit! of course now s has no idea who j is so. suppose maybe he'll have a chance 2 make a better first impression next time around lol

[prestonmonterey]

hey so im v curious about like reality shifting and stuff but idk much about it and i have some questions

hii ok

im like

a bit eepy

but ill try to make my thoughts make sense

so

(forgive me, i wanna learn more about shifting and the community, but all of my knowledge comes from inherently critical sources, so im sorry if i come off as rude or anything, im not trying to be i genuinely want to learn more about this)

reality shifting

to my understanding

is like...kinda a combination of fiction/fanfic and dreaming.

and it stems from the idea of the multiverse?

and the idea. that you can exchange your consciousness with someones from another timeline/parallel universe

and usually this happens when youre dreaming or begins when you sleep

so

(also plz correct me if im wrong on any of the stuff above)

now onto question stuff

i think its pretty important, that like. a lot of the stuff ive seen around shifting and like, response to any criticism is basically like 'youre the only person holding yourself back" like, anyone can shift, so if you cant its your fault

and on one hand i guess this could be motivational? like as long as you try hard enough its possible?

basically i want to make sure it isnt hurting peoples self esteem or mental health

but also. i. had a similar experience with lucid dreaming when i was a kid. my mom had a phase about lucid dreaming and was telling me all about it and was like 'you should try it' so i did. i tried. over and over. to somehow just 'realize' i was dreaming and take control. it never worked for me. and my mom was like 'well i guess youre just not trying hard enough'

and it was really disheartening bc ive always had trouble with sleep (might have like. insomnia or something. ive never been able to sleep well through a full night even before my life was consumed by screens.) and ive always had extremely strange dreams. and in my waking mind of course i know that if my teacher turned into an octopus with an apple for a head (yes this did happen in a dream) i would definitely notice and be like 'hey, thats not right' but it doesnt work like that in dreams. in my dreams it kinda feels like my impulses control me and i dont have any sense of self or logic.

and it felt awful to be told that it was my fault that i couldnt do it.

i also know that lucid dreaming somewhat ties into shifting so thats one of my other concerns, bc ive never been able to lucid dream and i dont know if i ever will

also idk where to put this but like. safety is important to me. i have friends who shift and i want to make sure they arent like, actually at risk of dying? and even seperate from that im wondering if people use this as a form of escapism too often that it becomes unhealthy and like negatively affects other aspects of their life

next question: is there proof

of course theres going to be anecdotal evidence from individuals in the community, and thats super alright. but sometimes people make things up. and sometimes people tell made up things to young, impressionable children who carry those falsehoods into life. and im worried about that

ok so ive read like 1 artice about this all. but immediately it brought up a major red flag for me. it gave an example of a study on shifting. but. it didnt cite its sources

and if anyones wondering that is a huge no-no. anyone can make up conclusions from made up studies. the point of studies is to show that people who are properly educated and know what theyre doing support these claims.

now im not saying shifting is made up in any way. it just seems sketchy to me that seemingly widespread sources talk about studies but theres no links or anything. theyre basically saying 'i saw a thing about it. just trust me.'

also uhh...idk much about the multiverse. but from what i understand. it comes from the idea of free will. and that every time anyone makes a descision, a parallel universe is created where they made a different descision. so i get that that could change a lot of things about the world like the rate of inventions and industrialization and wars and stuff. but really the shifting that ive seen most is into more fantasy leaning worlds. and im kinda wondering how thats possible in the multiverse? like sure theres infinite timelines...but most of those timelines will just be like. the same as this one but samantha chose to put on her right sock first instead of her left sock or something. and physics still applies, right? so how does hogwarts exist? does hogwarts exist? if magic is real in a parallel universe, is it real here?

so basically to sum it up my main questions are:

how do we know shifting is possible for everyone?

is it safe? (mentally, physically etc)

is lucid dreaming necessary?

is there any proof or credible source that i can look to for more info?

and how does this tie into the multiverse theory

also if anyone has any information about scripting and like evrything about reality shifting that would be great

i wanna learn more but im afraid of finding misinformation

ty :3

[jihyocentric]

cant stop thinking about daddy nayeon… i noticed that jihyo got a size kink so may i please request something a long the lines of nahyo bought a new toy that’s the thickest jihyo ever tried (maybe it’s a knotted toy 😳)

but anyways, nayeon is filming the process of preparing jihyo to be able to take the entire toy and when jihyo finally hilts the entire thing, nayeon is praising how pretty jihyo looks stretched around the toy and how proud she is of jihyo being able to take all of it. saying that she’s a dirty girl being all messy and unable to speak coherently

maybe jihyo squirts around the toy or is extra sensitive, up to you or you can totally ignore this. i just needed to share this bc that most recent nahyo post got me 🥵

jihyo is really the number 1 size queen, nobody likes a challenge more than her. based on this fill.

-

"hyo, talk to me!"

nayeon is nearly whining when she grips jihyo's arm, making the wolf in sheep's clothing that was her girlfriend turn her head around.

jihyo had been a pragmatic and unapproachable to nayeon ever since they've met. later on, nayeon realized that jihyo was only like that to her, and nobody else. to others, jihyo was a total sweetheart, the type of person to share big smiles and light up the room, but nayeon was an exception. and if nayeon was an exception, in her mind, that could only mean that she was special to jihyo. (she wasn't all that wrong.)

after jihyo gave nayeon a chance, an actual chance that was not only corresponding to her flirting but really making things official (and nayeon made sure jihyo wouldn't go back on her decision of becoming her girlfriend by making her sign a fake contract that she quickly wrote down on a napkin), nayeon came to the conclusion that jihyo was not that threatening or unapproachable. jihyo became a soft girlfriend who loved to be in her arms and hear anything silly nayeon had to say, and it really took nayeon by surprise.

it was when they had their first fight that nayeon realized that, despite being adorable, her so called 'babygirl' could look scary at times. it happened mostly when jihyo thought nayeon was being too much and gave her the cold shoulder, or when nayeon fed bbuyo more than what he needs and makes her cat look huge with the amount of canned food nayeon gave him (in her defense, he kept asking for more and she couldn't resist his cuteness because he was just like his owner), or when nayeon didn't stop girls from flirting with her and it made jihyo's blood boil under her skin.

that look of displeasure on jihyo's face was hot, but it was particularly scary and nayeon didn't know if she loved it or if she wanted to hide, afraid that if she said anything jihyo would get even angrier.

"you want us to make a sex tape? is that what you're suggesting?" jihyo asks, her voice low and eyes focusing on the tv nayeon had back in her room. it was smaller than the one at the living room, but it was a perfect setting for when they wanted to cuddle and watch movies.

jihyo didn't look happy to hear what nayeon had to say, but she didn't look unhappy either. she was frowning just like she did when she was angry, and had her arms crossed. unfortunately, nayeon didn't know how to explain what she wanted in a better way.

"i-i'll be away for two weeks, hyo... i just want to have something to remind me of you when i'm touring. i even bought a new toy for us to try out!" nayeon tries to sound serious but it comes out more like a blabber, and jihyo looks at her with a straight face that makes her shiver.

being clearly more mature than her girlfriend, despite their two year age gap where jihyo is the youngest, jihyo thinks about the possible consequences to nayeon's wish.

"aren't you worried about it leaking? what if someone finds the video and posts it online? nayeon, we need to be careful with those things." she says it softly, sighing because suddenly the idea of getting recorded while nayeon went down on her sounded way too appealing.

"i won't have it on my phone!" nayeon is quick to reply. "nor the computer. i bought a camera for this, and the video is staying there. it'll be even less likely to leak, you can trust me on that," she says, then clears her throat, knowing that if she showed jihyo the other item that she'd bought, maybe the younger would change her mind. "wait, i'll show you the toy."

before jihyo gets a say, nayeon gets up from the bed and runs towards her wardrobe, getting a box from there and then placing it on the bed. jihyo gets curious, sitting on her knees as she watches nayeon untie the ribbon on it, in order to open the box.

"i thought about giving it to you as a gift," nayeon says, taking the toy from the box. "it's why it's baby blue! so you'll think of me when i'm not here!"

jihyo wants to slap her own face when she sees nayeon holding a dildo while acting as if that was just a regular gift. nayeon smiled like a cute bunny, and jihyo didn't have the heart to find it ridiculous. instead, she found it precious. it doesn't even look like nayeon is the same person she calls daddy and makes her see stars in bed, but jihyo was used to that contrast already.

"is that a..." jihyo's eyes widens when she realizes there's a bump at the base of the toy. "is that a knot?"

nayeon nods. "it is! i thought you would like to... you know... get knotted by daddy."

instead of slapping nayeon anywhere her hands can reach, because nayeon does sounds ridiculous now, jihyo blushes at the dirty thought of getting that thing inside of her. all of it. it looked bigger than the biggest toy they owned before, and jihyo didn't know if she'd be able to get it in deep enough for the knot to fit, but she was definitely going to give it a try.

if it is a challenge, then jihyo won't say no.

"okay." jihyo says, taking nayeon by surprise when she seemingly agrees to indulge her.

"really, baby? can i record us?" nayeon asks, and if she had a tail it would be wagging fast at that point.

jihyo nods. "okay."

it's all jihyo says, and nayeon takes it as a permission to go get the camera. she places the box somewhere else and sets the camera in a place where it would get the bed in a good angle, where she was sure they would appear clearly and nicely.

as nayeon knew that the new toy was considerably thicker and lengthier than what jihyo was used to taking, and that jihyo always wanted to start with fingers first (it was the better way to stretch and get jihyo wet enough), she helped jihyo take her clothes off and went straight to her favorite place, eagerly placing kisses across the valley of jihyo's breasts.

that was truly what nayeon loved the most. watching as jihyo lost composure and became a person no one but her knew about was delightful in many ways, even more so when the younger was already writhing at the slightest touch on her tits — nayeon found it endearing even, and she couldn't help but get wet with the fact that the same girl who was making her quiver in fear just minutes ago when she looked slightly angry, was now calling her daddy as she sneaked a finger inside of her dripping pussy.

jihyo was stiff at first, she couldn't help but be extremely conscious at the fact that they were being recorded. not only could that video leak, but if nayeon wanted to watch it when she wasn't supposed to and any of her band mates saw jihyo as that whimpering mess, entirely submissive to nayeon (or, as jihyo herself calls, daddy), she'd dig her own grave and bury herself alive.

nayeon seems to notice it and she stops, keeping her finger in jihyo but taking her mouth off her nipple. "relax, babygirl. what's going on? do you want to stop?"

jihyo shakes her head. "it's okay. one more finger, please."

nayeon complies, sliding another finger in her slick entrance, placing a kiss on jihyo's neck. "if you want to stop at any point, tell me and i'll stop recording..."

"no, it's alright. i want to give you something to remind of me when you're away, too. just promise me you won't show it to anybody. and that you'll be careful with that camera." jihyo says while looking into nayeon's eyes. she trusted her, obviously, but she wanted nayeon to give her reassurance.

"of course i promise," nayeon pecks her lips softly. "i'd never let anybody watch my girl getting fucked."

jihyo sighs and pouts. "there you go ruining the moment."

nayeon smiles and kisses her pout before she dives back into her tits. nayeon could never get satisfied, latching on jihyo's nipples hungrily as she thrusts her fingers in and out, feeling proud when jihyo moans and her narrow walls tightens around her fingers, knowing she was doing a great job.

without pulling her fingers out, nayeon inches away from jihyo's breasts, placing gentle kisses over her tummy and then her thighs, then looks up at jihyo as her mouth finally went to where jihyo needed. nayeon was way better than jihyo had originally thought — her ego was too big and jihyo thought she was all bark no bite, but then she found out about how talented nayeon was in bed and everything changed.

jihyo's back arched, closing her eyes tightly when nayeon kisses her just right in her most sensitive spot, she was already too sensitive and they hadn't even gotten the toy yet. all it took was nayeon's command for jihyo to come and the younger's thighs were suddenly trying to close, despite nayeon's head being right there to prevent that from happening.

"there you go, babygirl. did that feel good?" nayeon asks, placing a kiss over jihyo's tummy.

jihyo hums. "more than good." she touches nayeon's face and brings it closer, letting her hands on nayeon's cheeks as she kisses her deeply. "i'm ready now, daddy. give it to me."

nayeon nods, almost eagerly, taking her fingers out and sucking them dry as jihyo watches. she takes the strap, placing the new toy where the dildo should go, and jihyo flushes at the thought of really taking it all. the reality finally hits her and she finds it too big. perhaps her need to win had taken her too far this time, and maybe she should give up. but then she saw nayeon happily lubing it up and she didn't have the heart to tell nayeon that she was chickening out.

jihyo took a deep breath, reminding herself that she was no coward.

"i'll go slow." nayeon reassures, placing the bottle of lube at the nightstand where she could grab easily if needed, although jihyo was wet enough by herself and the amount she'd spread across the shaft should work just fine.

"you better," jihyo hisses, letting nayeon settle between her thighs.

"feisty kitten." nayeon coos. "i should get you ears and a tail when i come back. you'd make a pretty kitty."

nayeon is such a sweet talker that jihyo almost doesn't feel the tip of the toy sliding inside of her. almost, because it's impossible to ignore it when it was that big, and the first reaction she has is to sink her nails in nayeon's shoulders, making the aspiring rockstar whimper at the stinging pain.

"this is too big... i can't," jihyo whines, part of her enjoying the intense stretch, but she also felt pain. nayeon lets jihyo discount the pain on her shoulders, moaning at the way the harness brushes against her own clit, pushing it further in despite jihyo's disbelief in herself. "daddy!"

"it's already halfway in, babygirl. you look so pretty," nayeon inches closer, brushing their lips together before she takes jihyo's lips in hers briefly. "even prettier when stretched around my cock."

the sensation of pain jihyo feels at first becomes more bearable and she starts to enjoy it. nayeon doesn't try to sink deeper, keeping short and slow thrusts that makes jihyo moan huskily against her lips, until she feels jihyo's legs wrapping around her waist as a sign that she should keep going and stuff her more.

"want more," jihyo asks, almost pleads, feeling vulnerable at nayeon's mercy. "think i can take it."

"of course you can. my pretty girl can take anything i give her." nayeon praises, moving her hips forward tentatively and reaching deeper, watching closely as jihyo's eyes start to water. "crybaby."

"faster!" jihyo asks, hands getting lost on nayeon's back.

nayeon doesn't refrain from putting more effort behind her thrusts, she knew just how jihyo liked it — intense and rough. slow and passionate could wait for some other time, because all jihyo wanted was to keep getting more of that shaft inside of her and nayeon complied, loving the way jihyo cried out whenever she pushed in deeper, until jihyo could feel the bump at the base of the shaft prodding at her entrance. the same one she'd seen earlier.

the feeling made her legs tremble, finally acknowledging that she had managed to take the entire shaft inside of her. jihyo even dared to take a look between them, cheeks getting red when she noticed the slight elevation on her tummy. that toy was that thick and jihyo took it proudly.

jihyo started to love the way it stretched her sooner than nayeon would've thought. it was intense and left jihyo breathless, but she kept wanting more. nayeon was evidently more than happy to give her anything she asked, holding jihyo's waist with both hands as she sped up, almost drooling at the sight of her girlfriend's pussy being greedily stretched by the toy, wanting to know what would be jihyo's reaction if she slipped that knot in.

it was certainly tempting and nayeon would love to see her messy girl cry and struggle to take it, but she wouldn't do anything jihyo didn't want. yet it seemed as if jihyo had read nayeon's mind, tapping nayeon's big hands that secured her hips, asking for her attention.

"i want you to push it inside me." jihyo asks, needy and all flushed, making nayeon slow her thrusts down. jihyo whines at the lost of pace, walls clamping around the thick shaft, one of her hands slipping between them so she could rub her swollen clit.

"ask politely." nayeon says, almost growls, feeling as if she was losing her sanity by seeing jihyo trying to fuck herself on the very same shaft she had thought she wouldn't be able to take.

looking up at nayeon with her eyes dark with lust, jihyo licks her lips, knowing exactly what she should say to absolutely break nayeon.

"please knot me, daddy."

"fuck." it's all nayeon says before she takes off, kissing jihyo deeply as she speeds up.

jihyo doesn't have to wait much, gladly, because nayeon forces the knot in soon enough, and it makes her moan loudly.

she cries, her cheeks get wet from the painful stretch but it feels better than anything she'd ever experienced, guiding her into a strong orgasm that makes her sob into nayeon's neck. she stops rubbing her clit and hugs nayeon as she comes down from the edge, nayeon's sweet words muttered close to her ear helping her get back to normal.

"are you alright, hyo?" nayeon asks softly, pressing kisses down jihyo's shoulder.

jihyo lets go of nayeon and lays limp on the bed, regaining her strengths ever so slowly. she can't answer with words, so instead she nods.

"can't even speak, huh?" nayeon coos, moving away so she could gaze at her well done work. "just one time won't be enough, though. it's two weeks that i'll be away. you better get ready, hyo."

jihyo can only shudder when she feels nayeon nibbling at her neck.

[single-malt-scotch]

i have watched bdubs and scar and so im gonna talk abt SL again like i did before. obvs spoilers!

i keep my posts pretty meta/only about the game, its mechanics, balance etc so i have no bias on players own actions. but i do want to talk about players and the final moments for a minute here!

obvs i like bdubs a lot and hes been very good at getting to almost the finals in all the series. hope ppl realize that more. if he had more hearts like scar did im sure he could of have gotten further too. etho's ep isnt out but i saw him die in scar's and scar's ep was wild for sure. i mean damn, there was hardly a way etho could have escaped scar when he landed right on top of him, insane. obvs i dont have a view on the others i havent watched but it was interesting to see how they ganged up in this series for the end. scar winning made me happy too, hes a really good player!!

bbut onto the gameplay. i dont wanna repeat myself so im kinda using this as an overall conclusion + specific thoughts about the finale.

its been established clearly that mods assign specific tasks to people at times. and the warden/wither + bogey were not something i enjoyed. this season felt way too "directed" as it went on... and i also think the tasks ability to grant you so much good stuff (a LOT of hearts) is what kept everyone out of being red so easily! which is probably why they did the bogey zombies. which is really just poor balance that no one clearly tested (i recall grian implying before that they dont really test anything but dont quote me on that). maybe a way to have improved that would have been reds were the only ones to gain hearts, and yellow/greens could not. i knew from the start that the heart giving mechanics this season were kind of pointless or overpowered. gifting one heart? really...? that doesnt add up to much of anything in the long run imo unless you manage to get hearts from multiple people. and then on top of that you get hearts back from the secret keeper too. i would have loved if this season was simply "no regen and thats it!" like a sorta UHC deal where you only can heal with specific items (and not 30 hearts prob? bc i understand the tasks were kind of a way to possibly make them die).

on big forced tasks it only made sense with this episode, since everyone is red, so i dont mind that. but again.... they had to force this to happen which is annoying to me. also in terms of balance i really wished they bring back strict rules on enchantments because that also gets frustrating to watch. but perhaps i just like fairness in combat due to watching so much UHC, which also is a death game.

the other issues i had were with reds and red tasks. as pointed out they forced reds in the previous sessions but no one had any time to do red tasks?? and admittedly it was kind of boring bc people couldnt interact about it without failing. but they could not team up properly and i think that is what red life is all about. all the reds coming together because they *need* to face yellows and greens, and hunt people down. but instead the few reds there had to be alone to do their traps, another social issue with this series where tasks often pulled people away from others and left them with videos where they were very alone. there being no space for greens and yellows to exist and get hunted is something i think is great in previous seasons too and it just didnt happen. all that getting forced in that one session just didnt flow well to me.

really even trying to look back at episodes, i cant recall any notable interactions between people i enjoyed minus some brief pauses when they were traveling to do their tasks. there just wasnt a lot of typical socializing! and thats what i didnt like with this series. this plus the balance issues of lives just made this series feel messy, and the length of the episodes due to tasks could be kind of boring if the task was boring or even felt too stressful to force them into places where they could just die (these kinds of dangerous tasks given to greens or yellows felt unfair, as if it was trying to force them to die, and as a viewer i wouldnt want the game make my fave die!).

and as i mentioned in a different post, the lack of fixing some issues in multiple seasons is wild to me. this season faced the same issue as limlife where deaths were not in chat. the episode after, they fixed it (still with some bugs). and then it happened again last session.... and they didnt fix it! this is also annoying bc people dont react to the deaths at all which you kind of wanna see you know? actually im not even sure why they still did it this way. i imagined the clock running out made it more complicated for the system of fying to work. but why this season....? seemed like pretty forward deaths. idk the tech side, but they had 3 solid lives like all the other season, and there were never issues with the death messages happening at all.

but anyways. theres multiple parts of this i mentioned above that just made this gimmick feel so messy and unbalanced, and sometimes not super interesting to watch. it was way too complicated some times. i know theyll likely never do a repeat of the old versions but man idk if i cant find myself liking future seasons if they start stacking so much on top of what is a simple concept. it has started to feel like the three lives havent mattered at all/arent really the focus-- the anxiety of having three times. and the stakes become less and less due to some of these new gimmicks (the ability to gain lives in so many easy ways- limlife and secret life- is why imo) makes death feel less of a problem especially when we know how buddy buddy everyone is now. people need to be limited like before, and be more anxious. 3L, LL, and DL had people quickly establishing their friends bc they knew right from the get go that the series really depended on them being alive and nothing else. the only focus was to stay alive and not die. DL was where ppl kinda chilled a bit on alliances bc they knew each other more but, death was still right around the door with health being tied, it still brought a similar kind of anxiety for players.

i do hope people like grian can recognize these issues behind the scenes bc genuine critique for this series/season is important. like i hope they dont brush off the fact "hall monitors" were an issue-- they can ignore them openly in their videos.... but there is a reason why its a problem that started at all. the concept was way too subjective and hard to judge! so id hate for them to decide "eh, lets not listen to them, im gonna keep doing this and not consider the issue for a new season" right? and hour long episodes? thats crazy, and i dont think it was good for a lot of cc imo, because it made me way less likely to watch or even finish others' episodes. i hope that makes sense... stakes need to be raised, and i think limlife still achieved that to some degree because time was still very sensitive and risky to take. but then SL comes in bringing way too many things that keep them alive far too easily, leaving very little concern as long as they got their task in.

and last thing is from the outside pov i get concerned about this season happening only 6 months after the last one. because that would very very easily cause a burn out/inability to make more gimmicks real quick. i find this particularly odd bc this season too place through multiple holidays...! not sure if they thought this one through very well. considering how much limlife changed things in a way that was a bit more complicated, and then have SL with even more going on.... id just be worried about how much new stuff would even be made after this.

before this season started i was thinking to myself that i would be fine if this was the last one (it was speculation off some posting 3L compilations that was being me think itd be 'over' bc that was the first season). and truly i would be fine if they stopped forever for for a long time. i dont want to start disliking this series if they keep going in this direction... i will ALWAYS enjoy seeing these people play together and it will no doubt keep me watching but, i would hope that i will enjoy what they do for the next seasons and not fall down this path of convoluted, unbalanced and complicated concepts.

[myfairkatiecat]

20 Questions for Writers

Thanks for the tag @fanfictasia!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

51 under my current account, though floating around AO3 are the fics I left up when I deleted my old account in a fit of rage (don’t ask 😅). So, 51 plus twenty or so under no name.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

208,386!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I’m in a lot more fandoms than I’ve published writing for so I actually had to check AO3 to remind myself what I actually write fics for 😂 I have the most fics for Star Wars, though I currently mainly write for The Mysterious Benedict Society and BBC Merlin. I also had a brief Miraculous phase and a few scattered fics from random fandoms.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

1. Rebel Pilot (Star Wars) - Anakin Skywalker finds himself suddenly and inexplicably in a cell with Princess Leia Organa on the first Death Star. When he realizes he’s in the future, chaos ensues, revelations are made, and Luke is the ray of sunshine that keeps them all together. (Oh, and there’s a Skywalker family road trip to kill the emperor and save the galaxy)

2. Viral (Star Wars) - thirteen-year-old Anakin runs a Space Tik Tok account in which he films Obi-Wan doing random things and posts it. Obi-Wan has no idea who is running this horrible fan account.

3. This Part Was Not Foretold (Merlin) - Upon seeing Merlin doing magic, Arthur comes to the conclusion that his friend has been possessed by an evil sorcerer who must be stopped.

4. Jealousy, Jealousy (Miraculous) - Adrien, in an attempt to make Lila as jealous as Marinette as possible, blurts out that they are dating. They are not dating. (But maybe they soon will be 👀) (also SERIOUSLY there’s a miraculous fic in my top five? That was like. My most embarrassing hyperfixation ever. Can we just forget that happened??)

5. Pen Pals Across Time (Star Wars) - Ahsoka convinces Anakin and Obi-Wan to write letters to their future selves. You know, as an exercise. But then the Force sends the letters. Chaos ensues.

Well, this was a real reminder that I did not always peacefully exist within the quaint, whimsical, slightly chaotic fandom that is The Mysterious Benedict Society. For this game, I have ventured beyond the secure perimeter. But as an honorable mention, this is my most popular TMBS fic by kudos:

The Two Mr. Benedicts - Constance uses naming confusion regarding Mr. Benedict and his redeemed twin brother to be a chaotic little gremlin.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Always! I want them to know I appreciate that they took the time to let me know they enjoyed my work, as this motivates me to write more in the future. Sometimes I may take a slight while, but I always do it!

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I almost ALWAYS give my angst happy endings. I was only able to find a SINGULAR FIC with an angsty ending out of all my fics! Our Forgotten Bond is a Star Wars fic about Anakin being brainwashed into attacking Ahsoka and only remembering who he is after he killed her. Yeah. Ouch. I only wrote it because of Angstpril that year okay 😭

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

All of them? Even my angst tends to end happy. Half my fics are just crack so whether the ending is happy is irrelevant. Most of my fics have satisfying endings 😅 I can’t pick one!

8. Do you get hate on your fic?

People used to give me annoyingly critical analyses on my Merlin fics, which I deleted bc they weren’t worth my time. But especially since I’ve been mainly in the TMBS fandom, everyone’s been super supportive!

9. Do you write smut?

Nope. G and T ratings only around here!

10. Do you write crossovers?

Yes, but all of mine are WIPs right now with varyingly recent updates 😅

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, someone offered to translate Revel Pilot into a language. I cannot remember what language and when I look at its name in the characters of the original I can’t read it and I don’t want to guess and be wrong and offensive so. A Language

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

I used to do writing circles on discord where we’d take turns writing portions of the story, so if that counts, then yes! You can tell which ones they are on AO3 because they have a ton of authors lol.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Yikes. Anidala, I believe. Or perhaps Percabeth. Huge sokeefe shipper. Jorgen/Spensa heals me. This question hurts me.

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

My Anidala cutting edge AU. I just wish someone else would write it 😭 I love it but cannot create it right now or possibly ever.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue, and when I put thought into it, prose. I’m good at character introspection and understanding of their relationships. Also, humor—I can make fics hilarious way easier than I can make them touching. (Yes, I think I’m funny. No, I don’t care if you disagree 😂)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Action scenes and planning of long plot lines. Also, keeping a serious fic from devolving into crack.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I’m comfortable doing it in Spanish bc I know it, I feel anxious when using google translate for other languages, and as far as fictional languages go (such as Mando’a in SW fics or the language of the Old Religion in Merlin fics) I just copy and paste things from the internet!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Bet you think the answer is going to be Star Wars, huh? Nope. Keeper of the Lost Cities. When I was ten. On Wattpad. Don’t go looking for it.

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

AH NO DONT MAKE ME CHOOSE. I’m a particular fan of Rewriting Destiny (my Star Wars/Merlin crossover), Things my heart still needs to know (my Newsies/Anastasia crossover), and Holding On to You (one of my many TMBS Benedict Twins fics!)

This was fun! No pressure tagging: @nobodysdaydreams @sophieswundergarten @phtalogreenpoison @heyitsthatonesmolgay @any avid fic writer who wants to jump on in!

[altruistic-meme]

I love your defense of Kristina! Like one thing that drives me crazy is how people frame that fact that she’s dismissive of willie and Simon’s relationship in season 1 but i don’t think it’s that unreasonable! Like idk as someone in their mid twenties when I think of teenagers in relationships I doubt most will be together forever. I think it’s reasonable for kristina to question if her sons relationship of a few weeks is worth outing himself when he might regret it later. As the audience we’re obviously rooting for willie and Simon but her advise of denying his involvement in the video in season 1 is to protect her son while he’s already gone through so much. Could she be more understanding? Yes, but she isn’t abusive like a lot of fics make her out to be. Like she’s a realistic mother. She loves her son but doesn’t understand what’s going on in his life completely.

thank you <3 and also YES! THIS!!!

like. it is reasonable to me that she would do whatever she could to cover it up because yes it's traumatic that it happened and covering it up won't get rid of that trauma at all, which im sure she knows, but it will help shield her son from more harm and trauma around it. and no, she wasn't really thinking about Simon or how he couldn't get out of it, but she doesn't know Simon, and Simon isn't her son. her top priority in this is protecting her kid.

and i love your point so much about her doubt in their relationship. we have to keep in mind that while we see Simon and Wilhelm falling in love and we see how much they care about each other, Kristina doesn't. for her, this is completely out of left field!! she didn't know about Simon at all before this!! she knows nothing other than what we can assume that the royal court found out for her, and we can assume that Wilhelm probably didn't tell her much more. i'm only 20, so i am barely not a teen myself, but i know that a lot of teen relationships don't last.

it's not unreasonable for her to have her doubts, and as bad as it sounds, her doubts about Simon specifically bc of his upbringing and her doubts in Wilhelm's ability to realize the possibilities that Simon is only with him for status aren't crazy. they would be a natural conclusion considering she doesn't know Simon. she has no reason to believe that it's anything other than simple infatuation or worst-case gold-digging.

she definitely could have been more understanding. for sure. she could have listened to Wilhelm, put more trust in his words when he told her he wanted to be with Simon. but it's not strange or crazy or evil of her to have not. we praise the show for how they portray teenagers!! let's not start to shit on it for portraying how adults react to teenagers too.