#i only live for kind comments really
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your fic is literally one of my favourite things it's sooooo good
thank you so much for being so kind😭
this means a lot to me, especially because english isn’t my favorite language so i feel very insecure about my writing. i ask you to trust me when i say im a better writer in spanish🙏🏼 but this has been a fun experience and hopefully i will get better at it, thank you so much
#i only live for kind comments really#they feed me#satth#f1 au#its dan and phil but they are f1 drivers#phanfic#dnp#dan and phil#phan#phil lester#dan howell#daniel howell#dnp tit#d&p#dip and pip#amazingphil#dnptit#dnp games#writeblr#writers on ao3
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My favorite funny thing on occasion is to imagine sugar baby/daddy dynamics with Tails ships
Something so comical about the fact that Sonic the hedgehog (hedgehog without a home) would be sugar baby to Tails (fox who has so many labs. Like who needs to worry about money when your little buddy pays for stuff heroing doesn't and keeps his bases fully stocked with ingredients for your favorite food
Or like, Tails, who basically ended up being Sonic's sugar daddy, accidentally gaining more sugar babies by virtue of making sure certain characters don't inconvenience people (basically playing damage control)
While I think it's Rouge mainly who would probably suppliment the money for Omega and Shadow (if need be) and play this sort of role for them, it's still funny to imagine Tails insisting on setting them up in hotel rooms because Shadow was just about to sleep outside and saw no problem with that (and because Tails can't very well just let Shadow do that)
A friend of mine also moved that, under this framework, after the idw issues where the Chaotix took a job helping Knuckles get an artifact back, Tails would just silently patch them rent money as an apology for the whole thing.
Rich inventor Tails accidentally gaining bfs out of the main cast as his sugar babies because he's assumed responsibility for their antics and cares about them too much to just let them live life the way they have been. Do you see my vision?
#sonic the hedgehog#tails the fox#miles tails prower#sontails#unbreakable bond#knuxails#shadails#i just be ramblin#for the record it's not limited to these ships by any means#they were just examples#While this is largely funny thoughts or au stuff genuinely one of my favorite headcanons is that Tails is the sugar daddy to Sonic's sugar#baby. Since Tails has all the resources and the housing and the labs and the budget and pretty much canonically has his home set up to cater#to Sonic#While Sonic kind of just adventures and does whatever#but ultimately does drop by Tails' place often to take advantage of Tails' assistance and catering to him#and since they adventure/go places with each other pretty often it's pretty easy to imagine Tails paying all the bills😂#Not even to mention idw where it's all but implied that Sonic has been living with Tails at this point (crashing at his place much more#often than before at minimum)#As for the Rouge comment. While I don't personally ship Rouge with either Shadow or Omega you can take that comment about her playing the#same role to them (possibly) as Tails does for Sonic as ship if you so wish#And with that being said you can also interpret this post as implied omegails/tailsmega/taimega too. I only didn't tag it cause I didn't#really talk about those two much specifically
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Erin, to her crush: You're a dick
Mason, the crush: I won't argue! But to clarify -
#my characters#its so sad that all of erins character development and kindness is on paper and nothing digital to show her growth#she picks on mason for many reasons and she kinda narrows her eyes at him but its more to squint than to glare#because she watches him from a distance when hes off laughing with others#though they are united on peter being worse than mason at least they can agree no matter what peter is worse#but also masons right arm is metal and she thinks its fascinating bc theres so many high tech prosthetics#why is he using the equivalent of a trash can ? is it some weird flex to not needing advanced stuff?#and its just he was from a poor family and was born with one full arm and then a stump#and he lived a lot of his youth with just one arm so once he got a second arm (installed basically) he went cheap#since he only wanted the other arm to get better jobs cause not many people would hire him with one arm#and he never really cared much about her comments because her lil verbal pokes of#so rogers whod you piss off? the mafia? is actually nicer than stuff he heard as a kid without the fake arm#so he tells her the only reason he has a metal limb is because god knew hed be two strong if born with two arms#and shes like uh huh sure thing rogers#and yeeeeah eventually something happens where mason is injured and erin is panicking#and hes acting like its okay to die because hes a dick remember TRYING to make light of it and she gets so sad#and after hes recovering and better he feels guilty making her so sad and hes talking to her#and she says that she doesnt have a lot of friends and she didnt want to lose one of the few people she liked#and hes just oh.......................... ididntthinkthatwouldbeme#so he starts to be super friendly to her and enforcing the crush that she doesnt wanna own up to#and then she does eventually confess and mason is baffled as to since when and shes like day one? and he just#erin you have got to be kidding me you were glaring at me for months#and shes just i have bad eye sight and im shy what did you expect#he isnt super smart or super stupid hes just exceedingly average
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i'm just saying that somewhere out there, there is a bizarro regis that is a human guy that sits in caves in complete darkness alongside five vampires and communicates through telepathy with them. whose eyes have grown to the size of drachmas and twists his head and scampers in jarring ways. and he also drinks human blood. in human terms, this guy would be so fucked up.
we would be like, what the fuck. this guy is no longer human - he has ceased to be human, he has become a vampire. (though he would still be undeniably human, able to do human things if he hasn't forgotten them, and also unable to do many vampire things)
so i'm saying this to illustrate a point, to try and illustrate regis in vampire terms. to live in a house (or palace) in daylight with five humans and speak with spoken word. to walk on the ground and have facial expressions and nod your head and sew with your hands. and to not drink blood, of course. so what would other vampires think of him. yeah. that's right
#already talked about this AT LENGTH in my fic and in the comments (thank you btw) sorry i cannot stop THINKING about this#to us regis is just normal just kind of weird. to vampires regis is weird and only kind of normal (meaning: uncanny valley)#its not even a 'betrayal of his kind' or anything like that he's just a guy whose life has led him to this point#the elbow-high diaries#c: regis#any time you start to think regis is normal. remember the human that lives in a cave and uses telepathy and drinks blood#actually a brilliant idea for an OC lmao. a disgraced and insane sorcerer who does this shit#meanwhile there's a dryad that caught feelings when she became pregnant and was flooded with hormones#a cintrian knight that set free a nilfgaardian prince#(that one doesnt really work due to political reasons)#and uhhh hell idk. a noble girl that ... didn't get sold into slavery and become a bandit? so just a normal noble girl
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Oh ok. I get now why a lot of people didn't vibe with the ending.
All and all: excellent manga, overall very good final act, too rushed final 2-3 chapters but weak and honestly mediocre epilogue, which makes the high of the ending kind of leave a bitter taste. I think Noda had a good steed and suddenly he had to finish and had to rush all. So the ending in the sense of the final arc was good but the ending proper (final couple chapters) + epilogue......... Not so much
#i liked rhe ending (though made the mistake to read comments so now I'm like 'yeah you are right that did not make sense' when on my own i#probably would not have noticed. but ok. I'll work my suspension of disbelief. HOWEVER the epilogue WAS indeed very lackluster#i get it's an epilogue but it was so rushed. we barely get a closure for ume and saichi and tanigaki did not get to#take asirpa back to uci as he should have (though he was instrumental for that). overall it was super rushed#like we did not even see how Sugimoto was rescued. the epilogue was faaaar too rushed tbh and also too vague in parts#siraishi not really saying goodbye.... also sugimoto and asirpa living together that's cute idc and i think the line into nastyness was not#crossed but oh boy is it a thin thread... i still choose to believe they are platonic soulmates lol but i want to see an official#translation of the volume that's all i say. what else... oh yes. the way the gold never got to actually be distributed doesn't sit right#with me at all but the worst part was definitely the sugimoto/ume thing oh god that was BAD#we did get to see osoma which was cute#OH AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON VASILY??? We didn't even see him. the epoligue for him in particular was great though but his ending was not#like he just hanged around ogata gor chapters and chapters on end and we don't even get a glimpse of him during the final showdown??#tbh i think noda wanted to do something more with him but realized he did not quite fit into the story and in the end got#caught up with all the main lines he did have to close and he obviously had planned and probably combined with his own exhaustion well#did not go nice for vasily! i also would have liked a more proper epilogue for tsukishima and koito. they deserved it#I don't like how pre-epilogue the tsukishima-tsurumi-koito tension seems to reach a breaking point only to kind of not get resolved because#they have to keep fighting lol.#laura reads#also i get the sentiment of the ending regarding the ainu and i think noda did his best but it seems like a rather soft thing for asirpa to#do like... sure. museums and stuff. i GET it but it goes a little too soft in the actual colonialism that went on from the japanese. i feel#noda starts off fairly critical of that but in the end softens his stance which is a shame but ok. the bar is in hell so this is actually#much better than average from what i can personally gather of my little knowledge#golden kamuy#gk spoilers
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i have managed to actually do a hobby for the first time in months. yippee
#executive dysfunction and depression are kicking my ass#like severely. i am apathetic about everything and so so tired. things that brought me the most joy are no longer available to me#like. i love you so much you are so important to me but i no longer have the ability to care or do anything about it#things i love the most are behind a glass door that i can't unlock. or break.#sewing and embroidery especially are like. things i very much love and aspire to do but they are SO time and energy consuming#i don't have the patience#i stayed up till 4 am listening to lenka králová's interviews with trans people and it made me a little hopeful#currently transition doesn't really feel possible and i kind of just want to die so. hearing from others who made it was important#i also appreciated the comments#because a lot of them are from cis people. who didn't really know things about trans people but are learning thanks to lenkas channel#and after hearing a bit about our lifes their reaction is usually to applaud the strength we have. to be ourselves#and it's heartwarming to read. that there are people who learn. and can empathise in some way. that not everyone hates us#'you only have one life and no one else is going to live it for you. so you better be yourself' or something along that was in one of them#most of the comments under every video are just people saying how beautiful Lenka looks and yeah. true#i love her
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Soon im rly gonna do it
#🕸️#sui mention#< in the tags tho cuz it feels nicer to talk abt this in tags than in the post itself cuz to me posts are like talking normally but tags are#like whispering? talking you can tune out if you want but whispering is rather more voluntary to say it doesnt matter however#every single year passes and i wish i didnt live in each and every one of them i feel disconnected dissatisfied empty disappointed every day#it can be a small part of a day or a bigger but its still there clenching onto me like and never letting go im tired of it theres always a#wall between me and otyer ppl im unsure if i put it there or was it put there by other ppl but its there and even if anyone tries to reach#into it do i understand how even if close are we really far away it makes me understand just how much of an abnormality i am and how much i#cant ever be like them no matter how much i try and climb and crawl until i bleed its exhausting its maddening#almost everything i do is shaped by spite i wear one bracelet for years out of spite i dont smoke out of spite i dont shave my hands not#only because im normal abt body hair but also out of spite the more i know ppl the spiteful i get only way for me to truly like someone is#to keep them at a lenght outside that wall if they get in then theres only two choices for them to dislike me or even hate my entire being#or me to shove them back out without ever letting them get in#coworkers say im a nice kind person but im not its all just a facade to make my life easier and to suit myself im hateful but i dont believe#its entirely my fault after all they will to my face make fun of. laugh at. and hate everything of me they would see in other ppl that dont#hide it deep within like i do and then it rly hits me how different abnormal foul disgusting and unnatural i am#im hit with his every talk that goes on too long every word that keeps going every touch every expression every comment made on my behalf#its exhausting to live this way i fear im near my limit i havent reached it but who knows when i will#i sometimes dream of doing it and leaving behind a note wishing nothing but painful suffering to everyone i ever knew irl but i dont want to#do that to my best friends and my dog but who knows how long its left before the thread breaks#thats all like comment and subscribe if you personally would do me a favor by taking me out back and shooting me
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musical theater......actually....good......
#.txt#i was a hater for so many years#but in the like. past year i have become so enlightened#the visual experience is so important for me. theres so much communicated you dont get in just a cast album#im just thinking about how 60% of what made this production of hair i saw so amazing to me was visual only#the live music experience is also like. very significant as well#i think ppl who have always hated showtunes need to try watching a musical performance (bootleg or proshot) like a movie#im getting into theater in general rn (as an audience member) and its so fun and intimate#the impermanence of it really gets to me though#theyve gotten me hooked with fomo 😭 christ#i also like that there is something for everyone#i mean like they havent made like. a numetal musical or anything yet but#you know on like cigaro i think on youtube i saw this comment that SOAD is like metal showtunes#which i cant get out of my mind. i kind of understand it
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i made a post on nextdoor not even asking for help -- just saying hey, covid is in the neighborhood, it sucks, please remember us sad waifish immunocompromised sods and schedule your boosters, i am indebted for everything everyone's done so far to manage the pandemic -- and within a few hours a lady i haven't spoken to before (but whose profile has a long legitimate posting/comment history) DMed me telling me she was sorry to hear i'm sick and she could drop off some groceries at my apartment if we need them in the next few days. wah 🥺
#apparently i'm likely to keep testing positive for A While and i'm the only one who drives so#i am pretty likely to use my nextdoor network for some extended errand coordination#i've worked really hard to build up a rapport with people on that app by being friendly kind understanding educational and active#offering help to neighbors in distress or giving rides to emergency shelters during freak weather or coordinating water drives etc#i get out all my bitchery over here so i can be trusted over there because my intentions are in fact good#(intentions: give back to the place i live bc it's the right thing to do and bc that makes it easier to muster support in crisis)#but anyway. wah. people around here are so genuinely goodhearted for the most part#trolls on the app get the most attention bc comment debates lead to 'trending' posts. but 98% of ppl are just sweet and decent#nextdoor adventures#autoimmune tag#covid posting
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#having a day full of mixed feelings#I suppose this is how life goes#I'm officially done with my Bachelor's degree as of today#obviously I'm proud of myself for the accomplishment and I was excited to be celebrated today#it was a long and difficult road and there were many times where I didn't think I'd live to see it through but I made it#I'm the first person in my family to get this degree and I was really looking forward to having today be my day#I had a really lovely morning and then things kind of waned#there were a few arguments. someone I spent the day with repeatedly made negative comments about something I care about#it felt awful. I know it was intended as more of a playful jab than anything but I directly asked for the comments to stop and they didn't#it especially hurt that it was a fandom thing and the person is so invested in their own fandoms yet they felt it fair to step on mine#even though I've never done that to them#then people kept talking over me and acted like I was wrong for trying to interject to finish my own sentences#also as I said in the last post I was deeply upset by how my family members spoke of my 12 year old cousin#she's just a kid and some of our close family members have such a nasty opinion of her. she's so young and she's had a rough few years#but it seems like no one except my brother and I are willing to give her any grace#I think everyone else has forgotten what it feels like to be a kid and feel as if the world is against you#on a more positive note. I had a decadent slice of chocolate cake. it was heavenly#unfortunately I was really too in my head to fully enjoy it#literally every day for 3 weeks I've been talking about the lunch I planned to have today#I knew exactly what meal and dessert I wanted from the restaurant. it's my absolute fave and isn't available at any other local restaurant#I was totally starving by time we got to the restaurant. we were out all morning and I ate a tiny breakfast in anticipation of this meal#when we got there we found out they removed what I planned to order from the menu. I was devastated.#I know it's stupid but like this was the one part of my day that I've had planned for MONTHS and I've been thinking about it for weeks#we had a 40 minute car ride where I mentioned my excitement for the food no less than 10 times so this crushed me#also I'm just really picky in general and typically restaurants only have one or two things I'm able to eat#I offered to just eat the dessert while everyone else ordered food because they were all really hungry too but they wouldn't allow it#we left the restaurant and I still feel horrible for walking out. if I had known the item was removed we wouldn't have even gone there#it happened so recently though and I feel dumb for not even thinking to check the menu online beforehand#so we went to another restaurant and I barely ate anything and now I have no appetite for dinner and I feel bad for ruining the afternoon#even though it's my day and my celebration and I feel like I'm entitled to a slight amount of unreasonableness
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Dear friend,
I have not seen my friends in two weeks. It's starting to get bad again.
#SAY THE LINE CHARLIE. The second half of this movie drives me crazy because after the angel in the snow he tries really really hard to grasp#onto the other side of the edge again and hold onto some sense of normalcy And everything is trying to beat it out of him.#he has a ptsd moment and the first day back in class he's made fun of and he tries to make a friendly comment to his teacher (his only othe#friend aside from sam + patrick's group) and it's shot down. And he just kind of takes it. and then it's just downhill from there and he#tries his very hardest to avoid thinking or acknowledging or noticing that it's going downhill But it's going anyways. and he's alone again#and it's his fault* too.#*i don't think this is really Charlie's fault all the way. I think he tries his very best but it's just not right enough sometimes because#of how he interacts with people and relationships. And also he's very young and learning how to live#meowing
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#really does so being fun to your brain to get affirmations and compliments from strangers or friends (ie people i see frequently) more than#the family i live with. like mixed with rsd wich makes evrey criticism hold ten times the weight of a compliment means when i do get i compl#compliment from the family i live with it sounds disingenuous#like i know ill get a lecture or a passive aggressive comment so that compliment doesnt count. or i had to fish for it so it doesnt count#it makes me feel like im barely tolerable to the people i live with who see me the most in my tuest self the only reason my friends or aqu#or acquaintances dont feel that way is cuz they havent been around me enogh and eventually ill exhaist all goodwill and love that people hav#have for me until they only associate with me because of obligation. it also makes me prone to cry when someone gives me a compliment and it#it makes me scared to share this with my family becasue i feel like theyll ruin it. i tell my husband that the pediatrician says the kids a#are growing qell amd hitting theyre milestones and he sqys that she always says that and to everyone and it cheapens the compliment#people who dont live with me think im intelligent amd competant and funny and a joy to know but i dont get that fweling from my family and i#i know part of it is because of my shit brain that weights criticisms so much more strongly but a part of it is the things they say amd more#more importantly the things they dont it feels so rar that i get a compliment of any kind and i dont know if its my stupid depressed brain#making me perceive this or if its true if its a mix or if i developed this thought process because i was taught this#worst part is i dont feel shit enough to cry and get that emotional release#tldr eventually evreyone hates me and one day my kids will too hahahahahaha i physically feel pain rn lol
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Reading your tags, and the relationship I’m desperate to have is not VM’s, but the relationship V and M have with their spouses. After all, if this is what platonic love looks like for them, romantic love must be mind blowing? I remember Alma once saying that VM would be ideal spouses for other people because they learned how to deal with the opposite sex in their own relationship. Their spouses must be the luckiest people in the world!
This is the kind of appreciation and understanding of their beautiful and unique situations we should all have more of !!
#yes anon you hit it right on the head.#all the BS attacks on their spouses and them for not being ‘together’#really what incredible people VM must be in all their relationships#for the caring. kind. incredible people they have proven to be in their own partnership#for someone to experience that with each other them they are super lucky#*each of them#and must be kind people to be with each of VM and understand the very public partnership VM lived for so long#and accept that and know T&S are very important people in each other’s lives and aren’t going anywhere#thankyou I which more people could understand all the postive examples VM are#for how they treat people and can have so many beautiful relationships in their lives#no further comment#cue the inevitable discourse#but just know I share this take. kindness and empathy is the only direction I take#nothing else is my business#ok now I’m done
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sometimes it’s hard to be a ray of sunshine
#Constantly smiling to make up for the bad mood of those around you is kind of draining#Sometimes it feel unfair that I try so hard to be perky becuase the world is such a beautiful place and other people just want to sit there#and shit all over it#look outside! The sun! The clouds! Bird song! Rain! Laughter! The world is full of tiny beautiful things#everywhere all the time!#If you want to be miserable fine but I wold really appreciate it if you didn’t treat me badly for not being miserable#I’m sorry I’m ”annoying loud and r*tarded* becuase I think life is worth living if only to see another golden hour#im sorry you wish I would shut up#but maybe being nice isn’t cringey#I’m going to keep telling people that their comment is interesting#even if they’ve repeated the same tidbit five times and it’s annoying#becuase You know what? It’s so important to them they’ve tried five times to make sure it’s heard!#Everyone deserves kindess#and angry as you might be you deserve it to#actuallyautistic#therapist friend#Okay vent over im good now
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thinking about wanderer constantly trying to serve a purpose needing to be useful to someone needing to fulfill a role..... thinking about wanderer with a lifetime of memories as the balladeer, sure, but a lifetime of memories without, of peace and drifting place to place and not quite knowing who he was but at the very least not being that. an entire lifetime the others will never really know. thinking about wanderer & the traveler exploring sumeru together and becoming genuine friends. thinking about adjusting to the loss of your second half after centuries if not millennia of always being together. thinking about wanderer asking, one night, about their sibling. thinking about the Very Possible Transition from “you expect the balladeer, so i act like the balladeer” to “if you told me enough about them, i could try to be like them. i could be useful to you.”
#okay so heres the thing right#i LOVE wanderer but. i dont know NEARLY enough about him as i should/want to#ive barely started playing ive missed so many events and story drops i dont fully understand his backstory#which i NEEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD to rectify#but based on what i do know. and some of the comments he made in sumeru.#and based on the kind of person he was before regaining his memories and the thought of#fuckifngfg. literally having CENTURIES of experience under your belt living your life wtf ever only to Very Suddenly be told.#hey youre actually a Horrible Person wanna remember that? do you want to? smile#feeling so strangely empty and listless and wondering if that could be why#feeling like he Has to remember like if he really was awful then he has to know he has to make up for it somehow#the reconciliation of those two VASTLY different lives knowing both are just as true#neither is a hoax neither is a lie its just one thats expected of you and one that /theyll/ never know#im just. im so. fdmngdfngmmbnmnmnmnmgmbnfgmbnmgfn#FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#aly.genshin
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If you get people leaving constructive criticism on your fanfiction, don't listen to them. Instead send them my way. I want constructive criticism. PLEASE give it to me. I want to grow and develop and become more powerful.
#Obviously it's better with trusted people#But also like. It's so tough to find folks who will honestly point out things you could improve in your work#But I wanna grow and learn!! I WANT FEEDBACK#Even if I will ultimately end up disagreeing with it it's still a very useful insight#I wish there was some sort of way to indicate whether you are open to criticism on ao3 or if youd rather not#Folks that are sensitive to it or just simply disinterested could avoid it#While i could obtain more POWER#GAH#Also ao3 is NOT like giving a reading!#If i give a reading to a bunch of people i can see live how they react#Even if they convince me afterwards that they really enjoyed it#I would be able to notice when they zone out on some parts for example#And that can be very useful#You can't get that online. Comments from people is your only way to know what kind of impact your work has left on them if at all
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