#i only just learned now that you cant send pictures as an anon ask

[startistdoodles]

AWWW ,,, Thank you for the art!

[bioodorange]

so. i have been thinking. i know you said you wanted drabble ideas, but this is just a thought i had. how would the creeps react to seeing their s/o after a long time away? like, what do they do while they can't see their s/o? when they can see them in-person again, how is it? like, it's been months since they've seen each other and now they get to be together again?! :) (quarantine loneliness has low-key been getting to me lately tbh 😔) - dove anon 🕊️

Please excuse my shitty layout i have no idea how to use tumblr on a computer (thanks ava for letting me use your laptop at work) Also Im gonna include your favorites because you're my favorite.

Toby

So Toby is a very clingy person(?)

He craves attention, validation and emotional security

This mans would be a mess without his s/o around

You guys would be apart a lot considering you’d either be a proxy OR a human

You’d be used to him being gone alot because of missions but if it was for more then a week he’d have a hard time

During the time you were gone he’d call you A LOT

And on face time, not just calling or texting

He’d excitedly seggust you stay up all night

Three nights in a row

He would send you his hoodie in the mail or leave it in your room if it was quarentine or something

Would tell you everything about his day and send pictures of the smallest things that reminded him of you

He’d need a lot of support and love on your end

When he finally sees you again no matter your size you’re getting tackled in a hug

Lots of face kisses and nuzzling his face in your chest

He wants to play with your hair, look into your eyes, everything he couldn’t do before

Good luck getting away, this dude plans on keeping you in his lap for as long as he can

Tons of cuddling and him filling you in on absoulutely everything

When he’s done talking he’ll sit there and wait patiently while you tell him all about your life

Will be 100% you changed something about yourself even if you look the exact same

Masky 

Tim is a grr im too cool for this shit kinda guy

But will melt upon seeing his s/o for the first time in a while

For this I kinda imagine maybe you’d have something outta town?

He would scroll through his phone all the time

Read old texts, look at old photos, hell he’d scroll to the end of your social media timeline

Constantly look at something when you posted

If you had a favorite food or something your favorite show- it’d be weird to him without you though

This dude would get so upset each day he woke up without you

Would call you just to hear your voicemail

Whenever you do have time to talk to him lots of asking if everythings ok

“I’ll come down there if I have to, it’s not a problem”

Just wants to make sure you’re okay as you can be

When you do come back he feels a bit awkward not sure how to express his emotions

Will offer lots of activities to do

Hiking, watching a movie, whatever you’d like

He’d hang around a lot more then he usually does

Wouldn’t be as clingy (physically) as Toby but would keep his arm around you

If he’s in the right mood might even make you breakfast or something

If you’re away for a REALLY long time he’d take picture of pretty views and make them into little postcards to send you

Babes doesn’t know how to express himself

Ben

As possesive as this little shit is

Thinks ‘Oh yeah I won’t miss em THAT much’

But thats because he can reach you like anywhere there’s a screen

Once he learns theres no devices allowed (where ever you are I dunno)

Automatically everything changes he’s like “Wait- wait what”

And suddenly he feels emotions

Tries his best to convince you not to go or to tag along 

“Fit me in your suitcase I’m t i n y!”

Will definetely get discouraged when you keep telling him now

This petty bitch would consider the silent treatment

Only consider because you’d be leaving you soon

When you leave he tries to tough it for the first few days

But not having you around REALLY gets to him

Would bug everyone else for attention and shit

When they eventually get tired of his shit he starts plotting

Lets say you were like doing one of those long cross country trips

Where you stay in hostels and shit

This dude would have like a 35 step plan just to show up in your room

and be like “I told you so!” “...Ben how are you gonna get back home?”

“...Fuck-”

Would sulk around at the fact he was kinda dumb

Inbetween laughs you’d comfort him

Spend time with him as much as you could before he had to go back

From there he’d wait around his phone until you had internet to talk

As soon as you get back he hangs around you

When you’re watching TV hes there

Even if you can’t see him

Will NEVER admit how much he missed you

But you both know

Jeff

So out of all these salty crackers this mother fucker is the saltiest

like so much damn salt the ocean is jealous

sorry I just like bullying Jeff

Anyway! He’d try and get you stay with really shitty tactics

Like he’d take your toothbrush or some shit 

“Aw dam what a shame you cant go anymore, why don’t we go watch some TV”

Dumb potinless arguing like “Why do you h a v e to go, you’re not gonna die. What if I die while you’re gone? How would you feel then hUH!?”

Will sit there sulking as you get ready to go cause he wants to see you leave

As soon as you leave he’s calling and checking in to make sure you’re ok

Would send you texts every morning for you to wake up too 

Would scroll through your social media and accidently do the thing where you like a 5 year old photo

Panic

Quickly unlikes it and tosses the phone in the corner 

begone demon!

He’d look through stuff on your desk or maybe a sketch book you left behind

Read old books you like

Just chill in your room all day cause he misses you

Has the day you’re coming back marked on a calendar

When you come back he‘s like “Yeah you’re never leaving again”

Picks you up and takes you to his bed or something

Yeah you guys are sitting there and cuddling until someone dies

[wodenscild]

i am back from gym with a story!

Soo gym is the worst for me cause ehh well it's cool and all but the changing rooms? Like i know i have to use the girl changing room but i don't wanna >:( transgender problems. Also i got blamed for yeeting wet toilet paper to the walls and like- i didn't do that? I just want to get out of there as soon as possible i don't have time to mess with it

Yeah i probarly will choose art but i hope i can continue my own style since most schools here only teach realism and my art style is more cartoon/anime-ish, but for art we don't only get painting and drawing. We also get pottery (Wich we take a different class for but eh, it's art) thingys with wood and metal, perspective drawing and so much more!

ALSO MATE YOU ARE FRIGGIN WHOLESOME I MIGHT EVEN GET AN EGO IF YOU KEEP GOING LIKE THIS like I'm about to cry /pos

Hold up people are invading my personal space gotta move-

Alrighty so about the lake- the coots are banning the ducks, like what can't they just each take half it's a big lake- I'll try to get frog to send you a picture of the lake it's really pretty. People here don't appreciate nature enough

I ran further over the border but the path stops cuz there's a house and i cant go around it cause well- did you know most of the Netherlands is rivers and swamp? Yeah pretty hard to get around, imma try to climb in a tree next week-

What's also funny about time is that it's different days around the globe, and uhh some countries can't agree on what year it is- some say 2022 others 2021 others 2020... like now even i don't know what year it is why can't people stop making it complicated!

So for me it's Friday Wich means almost weekend Wich means free time and drawing :D what day is it over there is Australia? Ofc i could Google it but it's more fun talking to you.

Mystery anon 2 is coming over today and uhh idk if she is gonna sign ask as mystery anon 2 or a diff name. Or not sign at all that's also possible

For the mystery anon saga here's some info about me to make it a lil' easier since there's now 2 of us hehe >:D

I am transgender boy, i like drawing and uhh I use achohol markers to colour... I do not have a brain according to mystery 2 and my hair is green :D (well actually it's almost brown again but i will dye it blue when it's fully gone, so for now green)

And who knows i might just tell you straight up, but not now i haven't gathered enough confidence.

I'm sending many hugs and cookies from here :D take care <3

-Mystery anon 1

(i will delete the 1 if mystery 2 decides to sign differently)

Oof I relate :(( changing rooms are just- well the worse >.< it is compulsory for us here to learn to swim from Years 3-8, so we go to the local pools & THE CHANGING AREAS IS JUST LIKE A ROOM WITH A BENCH THAT WRAPS AROUND THE WALLS & THERE IS NO PRIVACY & I HATED IT SO MUCH- & for some reason we weren’t allowed to get changed in the cubicals? So I would just put my school uniform over my swimmers before & after the pool Cos like hell I am getting changed in those situations- it is hot here anyway so I’ll be dry eventually anyway XD Being trans can be so fun sometimes ^~^

& :000 I see! You ought to ask Transfrogmer to send some of your work some time! I would love to see!! There is a weird sorta stigma against things that aren’t a “traditional” style in schools? It is really weird & quite sucky cos just imagine all the wacky things schools could output!! But with all of the other mediums to work with I bet you are pretty excited!

I am a bit giddy for the same with my linguistics >.< I am planning on taking most of the units as part of electives. As I have said next trimester I am starting up doing study of orthographies. Next year I taking a study on indigenous Australian languages, sociologistic, language ecology, morphology & syntax! & the year after I am taking studies in communicating in culturally diverse contexts, semantics, pragmatics, phonetics, phonology, something about the evolution of English, & hopefully some work experience at a language centre! Aldfkkskds it is a lot of great fun

By the by- GOOD!! GET AN EGO!! I got one & I have been feeling pretty uppety ever since >:3 you deserve the power of self love. & by Wōden I swear I will give you enough complements to develop a self perpetuating cycle of happiness within yourself!

I did not know that about the Netherlands! Tbh I don’t know much about it before!! Just the general memes about y’all’s hating water & loving bikes ToT but YES GO CLIMB A TREE THAT IS THE BEST!!but please send me a photo of the lake :D it sounds beautiful! But it is upsetting that people take these things for granted :”(

BRUH TIME IS JUST WEIRD BUT I THINK IT IS GREAT!! On one hand it is confusing, but on the other, YES FIGHT GLOBAL NORMS & DO WHAT WORKS BEST FOR YOU DEAR HEARTS!!

& indeed it is now the weekend ^~^ as I am typing this it has just clocked over to Saturday for me! & other than watching Spy x Family with a friend & working on Sunday I have nothing on <33 so I am so !!!

& that is all good! I am excited to get to speak with her! She can sign off in any way she wants!! But :000 green hair!!!!! That is so cool!! Before I went black I was actually considering going green myself but alas work uniform policy 😔 also trans friend <33 I hope you have good friends there that help give you support!

Just take your time, there is no pressure to reveal yourself :] Hugs & cookies received & I am gonna get some sleep now! I hope you have a good one beloved!!

(^You btw /a /pos)

[cavehags]

i realize this will probably bring up old drama so you might not want to answer it. but do you ever regret, however on purpose or on accident, bringing all that unnecesary hate towards Katara? i'm really sad and dissapointed tbh. i'm a woman of color and katara was so important to me growing up. my favorite animated woman ever. and then this resurgence comes and theres so, so much unnecesary hatred for her and everyone ignoring everything that makes her a good character.

(2/3) 2- and you know, i expected this from the male side of the fandom. they were misogynistic to her and the others even back then so i would expect it to be even worse with how internet culture is more mysogistic now that ever. and i wasnt wrong. male atla fans had some truly horrible takes and views that just came across as racism and misogyny. but, i expected these circles to be better. to be a safe space for us woc who love this character. but i found the same weird hatred for her.

(3/3) 3-i just, i cant believe i feel less welcome now that i did even back then. and back then i didnt even paricipate really. but at least i could enjoy fandom content without stumbling into misogyny and racism every other post. also sorry for sending this to your personal blog b i just wanted to let you know you controbuted to that too even if it wasnt your intention. at least you realized that and arent contributing to it anymore right? cause honestly the hate has only gotten worse not less.

hey anon. thanks for asking this question, because i hadn’t addressed this topic previously and this gave me an opportunity to do so. 

no, i don’t regret publicly interpreting a character whom i love through a nuanced and human lens. and i don’t regret combating the one-dimensional interpretation of this character, which posits that she’s merely an vaguely defined object of attraction for some boy or another, and a singularly gentle, mature, maternal figure whose sole purpose in life is to nurture others. those interpretations suck. they rob her of the humanity and complexity that make her character unique and they stem from misogynistic tropes that reduce women to the services they can provide to men. the thing in the world that matters most to me is fighting misogyny, and this trend to diminish a proud and powerful and angry teenage girl by exaggerating only her most socially acceptable traits is misogyny. 

unlike you, i did not grow up watching avatar: the last airbender. the shows i watched growing up did not have a lot of girls who felt real to me. the girls i saw on tv growing up were simple. they were the main characters’ crushes. they were simple, desirable, usually sweet and loving, and not much else. if they had a flaw, it was that they were, at best, “awkward.” whatever that means. or if they were the protagonists, which was rare, they were nice enough and tried to do the right thing, but they never had strong feelings like resentment and anger. they weren’t allowed to be unfeminine which meant they weren’t allowed to be bitter, angry or in any way flawed. they didn’t look like the version of girlhood i knew to be true for me personally, which included a lot of anger and frustration and powerlessness. 

that crappy representation left me with internalized misogyny that chased me for longer than i’d like to admit. i did not learn to think of girls as humans who could be as interesting and flawed and messy as the boys were. i did not value myself as a girl, and later a woman, because i thought the best thing a girl could be was... bland. boring. pretty, but empty. passionless.

it would have meant the world to me to see a character like katara. 

because katara is angry. she has every right to be: she’s had so much stolen from her, including her mother, her people, and her childhood. katara has a short fuse. she yells. she snaps. she fucks up. sometimes she makes mean jokes! i never saw a single one of those dreamily perfect cartoon love interests make mean jokes when i was a kid. she is extremely idealistic--it’s her defining character trait--but we see the bad side of that as well as the good. we see that her need to help others  leads her to act rashly, to get herself into danger, to put others in danger too. 

and she has her very own arc. it’s not about her love for another person, either (what a snooze of a storyline); it’s about growing up and learning to break down some of that stubborn black-and-white thinking that we all indulge in as children. it’s a true coming-of-age arc and it belongs to a fourteen-year-old girl. 

when i, to use a phrase i find crass, “entered the fandom,” i quickly realized that other fans’ perceptions of katara did not line up with the things i valued most about her. other fans seemed to valorize her most socially acceptable feminine qualities: her generosity, her kindness, her dedication to helping others. and of course i love those parts of her--i love everything about her--but what is really remarkable about avatar: the last airbender is that katara’s many important virtues are also counterbalanced by equally significant flaws. a good character has flaws. katara is a good character, and a deviation from the characters who made up my formative media landscape, because she has flaws. her temper, her idealism, her stubbornness--these are flaws. flaws make her seem real and human and challenge the mainstream sentiment that girls are not real or human.

it simply did not occur to me that celebrating these aspects of katara that make her a realistic and well-written teenage girl would spark ire from other adult fans. it absolutely did not occur to me that i would then be blamed for somehow causing misogynistic interpretations of this character, particularly given that misogynistic interpretations of this character are the very thing i sought to correct when i began to blog about this television show.

i’m told there are “fans” on instagram and tiktok who think katara is whiny, annoying, and overly preoccupied with her trauma. i do not use instagram or tiktok, so i wouldn’t know, but i’ll take your word for it. respectfully, however, they didn’t get that from me. misogynistic takes on katara have existed since before i came along. i have never, ever called katara whiny. and seeing as i have been treating my own PTSD in therapy for nine years, you can safely conclude that i don’t think anyone, katara included, is overly preoccupied with their trauma. that’s not a thing. do i think she’s annoying? of course not! as a character, she’s a delight. does she sometimes find real joy in aggravating her brother and her friends? yes, because she’s 14. i, an adult, am not annoyed by her. sokka and toph often are, because that is katara’s goal and katara always succeeds in her goals. she’s not “annoying.” 

if there are “fans” who are indeed following lesbians4sokka and somehow misreading every single post and interpreting them to mean that we hate katara and they should too, i don’t really know what you want me to do about that. l4s has over ten thousand followers and we have already posted so many essays disavowing katara hate. our feminist and antiracist objectives in running the blog are literally pinned with the headline “please read.”

furthermore, you cannot reasonably expect my co-blogger and me to control the way our words will be received. we should not have to, and are not going to, add a disclaimer to every post saying that when we critique or make jokes about a teenage girl we are doing so through a feminist lens. our url is lesbians4sokka, and we are clearly women. if that alone doesn’t make it obvious, then refer back to that pinned post. 

it is indescribably frustrating, and really goddamn depressing as well, that people are so comfortable with the misogynistic binary of Perfect Good Women and Flawed Wicked Bitches that they perceive any discussion of a woman’s flaws to be necessarily relegating her to the latter camp. if that is how you (a generic you) perceive women, then i’m sorry, but you’ve internalized sexism that i cannot cure you of. and it’s unjust to expect my friend and me to write for the lowest common denominator of readers who have not yet had their own feminist awakenings. we do not write picture books for babies. we write for ourselves, and with the expectation that our readers can think critically. reading media through a feminist lens is my primary interest; i have no intention of excising that angle from my writing.

as i go through my life, i am going to embrace the flaws of girls and women because not enough people do. as long as the dominant narratives surrounding women are “good and perfect” and “unlovable wh*re,” you’ll find me highlighting flawed, realistic, righteously angry women in the margins. and for what it’s worth, it’s not just katara. i champion depictions of angry girls in all sorts of media. that’s sort of my whole thing. my favorite movies are part of the angry girl cinematic universe: thoroughbreds, jennifer’s body, hard candy, jojo rabbit, et cetera. on tv, in addition to katara, you’ll find me celebrating tuca and bertie, poppy from mythic quest, tulip and lake from infinity train, korra, and more. i adore all these women and see myself in them. i hope you find this suitably persuasive to establish that i have sufficient Feminist Cred, according to your standards, to observe and write about these very flawed and human fictional women. 

what i’m saying is this: i decline to take responsibility for the misogynistic discourse orbiting a children’s cartoon. as someone who writes about that series from a perspective that seeks to add humanity and nuance to the reductive, one-dimensional, overwhelmingly sexist writing that already exists, i am pretty taken aback that i am the one being blamed for the very problem i sought to address. except not that taken aback because i am a woman online, haha! and this is always how it goes for us. 

finally, i think it sucks that you’ve chosen to blame me for a problem that begins and ends with the patriarchy. i can’t control the way this response will be perceived, just like how i can’t control the way anything will be perceived because i am just one human woman, but i do hope you choose to be reflective, and consider why you’ve chosen this avenue to assign blame. 

[f2pain]

Glad to read that you take your time and you enjoy these, I was admittedly nervous to send a team ask since you seem to be doing a whole lot of them. But reading your pinned post helps, hope you continue to take your time and remain true to your pacing!

As for my team, I currently have Xiangling, Rosaria, Baal, and Barbara together (Yes that's three polearms and a healer, very little range, high-up archer enemies are hell ajfhakkafj) and I've affectionately called them Fatui killers since they somehow managed to win against them in Dragonspire while I was trying to get the spear for Rosaria

glad it helped your anxiety anon, as its all true. these are real fun for me and this one was really neat

i get that lmao, one of my friendship grinding teams has like 3 catalysts and a claymore high up enemies are HELL

anyways onto the headcanonsss

team gets together whenever rosaria and barbara have to go out on a journey with some of the other nuns for a church thing, but they end up getting separated from the other sisters

rosaria is NOT having a good time because she cant just run off and do her thing because theyre in the middle of liyue and barbara would probably get squashed by a geovishap if she left

thankfully xiangling pops out of the bushes and takes them to the harbor

when barbara mentions their journey xiangling immediately volunteers herself to be their own personal chef, and before any of them know it theyre on the alcor heading to inazuma

while theyre there they find ei who decides to tag along. why? no one really knows, but theyre a team now

rosaria finds xiangling absolutely insufferable her only redeemable qualities are that she knows how to cook well and can distract barbara for hours with the most random things

barbara tries her best not to but sometimes her curiosity gets the best of her and asks ei about barbatos. she gets some. interesting stories to say the least

whenever trying out new dishes, xiangling always tries to feed them to the team but barbara is the only one who eats it no matter what. rosaria and ei have some begrudging respect for her because of it

rosaria and ei disagree quite a bit over little things, but in the big picture their bind is surprisingly strong for a god and someone who distrusts the gods

while being on the team together, barbara learns a lot about rosaria and cuts her a bit more slack on some church things. not a lot but she tries

[grapesodatozier]

I don't know if this has been done before ( though I feel like it hasn't cuz I ain't seen it anywhere yet) but virgin Mike with experienced Richie? That would be HOT and sweet and intense

oh man!! you are so right anon, this is super hot and super sweet!! this one is a whole novel lmao so under the cut again

oooooookay so i was gonna make this a fic bc i love this idea so much but i decided that i have so many thoughts that im just gonna talk about it SO. first of all. this is so gd sweet bc like?? the trust here?? like mike being 22 and hes never done anything more than hand stuff, meanwhile richie had a slut phase his sophomore and junior years of college so hes seen a lot lol. so for mike to open up to richie and tell him that hes never done this before?? to not be embarrassed or scared that he'll be bad at it?? to trust that richie will take care of him and wont judge him?? to make himself that vulnerable and feel comfortable and safe?? that just really gets me emotional okay that is beautiful

so here's what im picturing:

friends to lovers ofc bc friends to lovers is that trope!! so mike and richie meet in college, and they've been friends for a few years when one night mike stays later in richies dorm room than everyone else and they stay up til like two just talking, and theyre both a little sleepy but they dont want the night to end, and they've drifted closer together until their breaths are mingling and their noses are just brushing against one another, and mike leans forward and closes the distance bc he cant take the way his heart is racing, and richie is giving him this look thats driving him wild, and he needs to know if richies lips are as soft as they look, and hes so tired and richie is so warm and everything is so quiet it almost feels like a dream. and then richie is kissing him back, soft and intentional at first, but then hes laying mike down and the kiss gets so much deeper it has mikes entire body glowing.

they stay up until 4:30 just kissing and talking and touching each other so gently, just stroking each others cheeks and running knuckles over each others sides, taking in that this is all real. then richie ofc is like "mike youre sleepy i dont want you walking across campus by yourself at 4am and also i dont want you to leave" so mike stays over, and sleeping in richies arms is the best sleep hes gotten since he got to college

so they're a couple, and theyre hooking up, but they're about a month in now and they havent done anything past hand stuff. and richie is super patient, he doesn't wanna rush anything, but he thinks maybe mikes just nervous about being the one to intitiate going further?? so one time when theyre grinding into each other, basically just dry humping on richies bed, richie murmurs in mike's ear, "fuck, baby, wanna get my mouth on that pretty cock of yours so fucking bad" but then mike stiffens, his movements stopping completely, so obviously richies like shit im sorry did i do something wrong?? and then mike is blushing super hard and explains that he's never done anything more than hand stuff and hes really nervous, and richie is so soft for mike, he adores him, and hes just kissing all over his face like "baby, why didn't you tell me? you know i'll take such good care of you" and mike m e l t s and then he gets a little coy like "will you... show me?" all biting his lip and batting his eyes as if he hasn't been jerking off to the thought of asking richie that question for over a year now. and richies response is just what mike wants, he can see his eyes getting darker, and mike is thrilled. and richie kisses him so deeply and passionately like "fuck yes baby, i've got you, i'll show you, baby"

and then clothes are coming off and richies blowing mike bc he insists on going first bc hes so excited to give mike his first blowjob and absolutely blow his mind. and honestly, he doesnt tell mike this until a few weeks later when they've settled into things more, but knowing that he was the only one to ever make mike feel that good made richie feel so warm, and also made his skin burn in the most amazing way, and the whole time mike was moaning and squirming beneath him richie couldnt help but think mineminemine, only mine, and he murmurs things like "my sweet baby" into mikes hip, almost low enough for mike not to hear it, but he does and he absolutely loves it

and then richie is guiding mike through blowing him, and its both so hot and so sweet?? like mikes teeth keep catching every now and then, and like yeah it hurts a bit but its also endearing?? like?? richie loves him so much and this is such an intimate thing and mikes trusting him with this moment in his life?? richie has to keep himself from blurting out his first "i love you" while mikes blushing and apologizing and richies just like "thats okay baby, you're doing so good" bc of course mike wants to be good at this, and then mike says "wanna make you feel good" all shy and a little bit sad and embarrassed and richies like nonono baby you make me feel so good you have no idea, and he cups mikes face and mike nuzzles into his palm bc richie is so warm and he makes mike feel so safe and loved bc he is!!

when they first have penetrative sex (or fuck or make love or what have you) (theres no cute or hot way to say that im sorry i tried lol) mike is on top. richie fingers himself open, then guides mikes fingers into him, and mike gets the hang of that p quickly, his eyes wide in wonder and glued to where his fingers and richies hole come together. richie cannot believe how beautiful mike is and how lucky richie himself is. by this time i imagine they've said "i love you" already, so when mikes sinking into richie he's breathing hard and burying his face in richies neck and just moaning "i love you i love you i love you" while he fucks richie slow and deep, the sensation is so new and so intense for him

and then after getting used to that, a week or two later richie is finally fingering mike open, so carefully and intentionally, taking such good care of him. and mike makes the prettiest faces when richie first sinks into him. and its new, there's a stretch, but it doesn't hurt. in fact, it feels fucking amazing, and thats how mike learns that hes a switch but its like 80/20 in favor of bottoming, its like hes discovered a new level of consciousness or enlightenment lmao and thats just missionary, richie pressing sweet kisses all over mikes face, telling him how beautiful and amazing he is, how good he feels

once they start getting more hot and heavy with it mike is ready to ask richie to fuck him from behind. and mike was a whimperer before, letting out these pretty little moans that richie fucking drank in. but as soon as mikes on all fours and richies fucking into him mike is fucking screaming, like he never understood how people could scream during sex until that moment. in this position richie gets so fucking deep, its insdescribable, and mike is speechless pretty much off the bat, just screaming yesyesyesfuckmefuckmefuckme when he can manage to say actual words. and it catches richie off guard but fuck is it hot to know that mike is literally screaming for his cock, not even caring that other students on that floor can definitely hear it, like could not possibly miss it, and mikes just way too blissed out and fucked out to care bc wow it feels so good its like a whole new thing. mike even bites the pillow the second time they do it, but hes still super loud even then. but the image of mike face down ass up is possibly one of the hottest things richie has ever seen in his life, and he’s absolutely covering mike in kisses once they both come down

wow they're in love i adore them sm!!

so yeah im v on board w this idea lol v sweet, v hot, thank you sm for sending me this!!

[antibioware]

ah okay thank you! sorry in advance this might be long and/or kinda dumb haha but i currently identify as bisexual but i am not too sure if im okay with liking men romantically irl because so far ive only ever had crushes on fictional men or men who were unattainable to me and so far ive jsut kinda accepted i might have to marry a man so my family doesnt realize im gay and im kind of okay with that but not really and i also very much want to be a lesbian but at the same time im (first part)

(second part) still very attached to being bisexual because its been my identity since i was like 13 and i am agender so idk if that like means i cant be a lesbian also ive been on and off questioning this for like 2 or 3 years now but its just weird bc i still think i MIGHT like men? if that makes sense? sorry this is all a lot and i was too nervous to come off of anon!

It’s ok don’t worry! (and it’s ok if you don’t wanna come off anon, I understand sending a message can be stressful as shit) This is gonna get a bit long, so bear with me.

about the agender thing, I’m agender too.  If you think being nonbinary doesn’t make it possible for you to be a lesbian, it isn’t true! nonbinary is a complex experience, and doesn’t just revolve around being “neither a man nor a woman”. Gender is a spectrum, and because of it it makes experiencing your sexuality a whole mess.

In my case, I am a lesbian and it took me a lot of time to accept that I was nonbinary too. I’m “woman aligned” because I’m a lesbian, but I still feel a good deal of detachment from the way a lot of (cis) women experience their being women, and I experience gender dysphoria. I’ve had the occasion to realize, through reading Judith Butler books and talking to other wlw, that it’s a common thing for gnc gay women (including also bisexual women, it’s not an exclusive lesbian experience) to only consider themselves women because of the way they love women.

Now, I have to tell you, wanting to be a lesbian is a pretty big sign that you may be a lesbian. This, + the fact that your only attraction to men is present when it comes to fictional men or unavailable men, are both pretty big indicators! And in this case, the trick I used to come to my realization was asking myself: would I be able to maintain a relationship with a man? Can I see myself dating a man right now, beside just settling down with one in the nebulous future?

For me, the answer was no, and so I started identifying as a lesbian. Even if you experience compulsory heterosexuality, the moment you realize you wouldn’t date a man, wouldn’t pursue one romantically, can’t even picture yourself with one right that moment, you’re a lesbian.

BUT! But, I identified as bisexual for most of my teenage years, too, before realizing I was a lesbian, and I understand being attached to the identity. For a while, I thought that changing my label would make people “doubt” my autenticity as a gay person, or that I was faking it for attention. Then, I realized cishet people have no authority over my identity, and they can go fuck themselves. Changing they way you identify as is growing as a person and learning more abt yourself.

So now the question is, do you feel like you have to identify as a lesbian to validate your love for women? Or do you feel like you have to identify as bisexual because of the possible attraction you have for men? In both cases, it all comes down to you. If you want to be a lesbian, you can be! But you don’t have to force yourself into the label if you think you may still have attraction for men or if it makes you feel unsure of yourself. The only big thing about choosing one or the other is that by identifying as a lesbian, having a relationship with a man is an immediate dealbreaker. that’s it. but aside from that, the bisexual and lesbian experiences are pretty similar.

A thing I can say is that there’s not a “fixed” answer. Constant self questioning is a big part of being LGBT and it never goes away. I wake up sometimes and wonder if I’ve lied to myself this whole time and I’m actually something else entirely. You don’t have to fear questioning yourself.  I’m sending you all my love and my support for the future, and I hope this helps clear your ideas a little (thought I probably just brought more confusion, ahah) <3

[deliverydefresas]

shape of you: bonus parts

I’ve been owing you these for months and i’m very sorry about that! thanks again to the anons who’ve reminded me you guys are the best!

there’s a couple more parts i have started writing but haven’t finished yet (one of them being the definite epilogue) so lets have our fingers crossed they’re done this year lmao 

i cant remember but it’s probs not proofread, sorry in advance

for all the previous parts click here  

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                                                             💫

MEETING FANS

They’d been going out on dates for a month before it hit Ámbar that she wasn’t dating a ‘normal’ person.

Simón had picked her up after her last class that Friday, telling her the guys – as he called his band- had invited them out for drinks so they could meet the girl who’d stolen his time and mind. She’d been reluctant at first, not really in the mood to go out after a long, stressed week of mid-terms, but Simón’s puppy face had become something she just couldn’t say no to.

They had dinner at their place first, ordering Chinese take-out as she let herself be questioned by Pedro and Nicolás. Simón’s friends weren’t as bad as she’d thought, talking mostly at Simón’s expense and sharing embarrassing details of the boy she’d been dating, as well as setting up ‘the talk’, warning her to not hurt their friend. Ámbar found it rather amusing; Pedro and Nico didn’t give the intimidating pose they tried to pull off, but a goofy, joking one, even if the underlying warning was there. Simón had shaken his head, telling her to ignore them, but she ended up promising she wouldn’t, more to their amusement than hers.

Eventually they hit one of the near-by bars close to their apartment, Simón’s hand firm on her waist and both of his friends backing them up through the crowd. It was a Friday night, so she wasn’t surprised to see that many people around, but she did wonder how they’d find a table to sit on with so many people around waiting for one as well, and whom, most likely, had been there longer than them.

It was when Nicolás disappeared for five minutes telling them he’d go talk to the manager, so they could be seated that it hit her.

It didn’t take long before the four of them had a table and drinks on their hands. If it had been her and her friends alone, they’d probably had to wait at least an hour before they could leave find seats available, but she was with her boyfriend, who happened to be in a famous band, and whose name had a weight heavier than she’d expected. It was a strange feeling, but she wasn’t going to lie and say she hated it. She didn’t love it, either, but she wasn’t about to complain when she was on heels. She also wasn’t shy to ask Nico what deal he’d to make.

The guy shrugged. “We just have to post a picture of us and tag the place. I’ll do that before we leave, I don’t wanna get mobbed today.” It sounded like it was nothing out of the norm, so she shrugged it off too, sipping on her mojito, waiting for them to carry on their conversation about writing sessions.

They’d only been on the bar for an hour before a girl around her age came up to them, interrupting Pedro’s question about her classes; she felt the weight of Simón’s arm around her shoulders fall, and she’d frowned at the missing contact. Her boyfriend threw her an apologetic smile before turning to the – clearly tipsy- girl, asking her if she needed anything.          

The girl started squealing how she was a big fan, and how she didn’t want to be a bother but that a picture with the guys would be a dream come true. Said guys all wore matching polite smiles – she wondered if they were practiced- and kindly told her they would if she didn’t post it right away, as they wanted to chill around for a bit more. The fan nodded multiple times, only turning to look at her to ask her if she could take the picture, her grin so big she was sure it hurt. The boys chatted her up for a total of five minutes, asking her standard questions before sending her off, begging her again not to post the picture right away. The girl said her goodbyes with shiny eyes and the biggest grin she had ever seen.

Ámbar would learn later that those were her favorite type of fans. The ones who were polite and only focused on the band, instead of those who’d throw distasteful glances at her whenever she was out with Simón, or those random people who clearly didn’t know who Simón and the rest were but wanted a picture anyway just to show they met them; she really couldn’t say those who tried to make a conversation with her were great, either, but that was mostly due to her inability to hold a conversation when all they wanted to talk about was Simón, how hot he was and how lucky she had been to snatch him up. She hated other girls objectifying him, and she hated that if affected her as much as it did.  

Her least favorite, though, were those who couldn’t take a no for answer; those who, even when the guys asked for them to give them a little of space, kept shoving their cameras on their faces. Her encounters with those were only a handful, but watching her boyfriend get harassed had proved to be too much for her, as two out those times, Antonio – the band’s manager- had to hold her back from behind to stop her from smacking some people’s faces.

In the end, however, a fan’s glee at finally meeting a person they admired so much was contagious, and 9 out of 10 times it left her with a smile on her face. It wasn’t easy, knowing that at one point or another, your boyfriend will prioritize strangers ahead of you, but she learnt to deal with it. Simón loved making other people happy, so the happy grin on his face whenever he met them was enough reason for her to bear it.

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READING ONLINE ABOUT HERSELF

They’d been dating around three months when the first picture of them appeared online.

It was blurry, clearly taken by someone who was trying their best to be sneaky and quick, a prominent zoom if the way it was noticeable pixilated was any tell.  

Sadly, it wasn’t blurry enough to couldn’t tell it was them. Simón’s face was fully displayed, laughing about something they were talking about, his arm around her while she rested her head on the crook of his neck, making only her profile visible. It’d been taken on one of their many lunch dates, half-eaten food in front of them told her so.

It went viral everywhere.

And so, the hunting for her identity begun. Every single media she knew of wanted to know her name, her age, where she studied – if she studied-, how they’d met and why he decided to date her. It escalated to the point of a magazine offering money for her information. Ámbar never felt luckier to go to a private university, where none of the people who knew her cared enough to sell her out.

Sadly, her relief lasted only a week. Simón was leaving the country to a meeting with their label when Emilia’s text reached her phone. ‘The cat is out of the bag; someone ratted you out’ following with the link of an article: ‘Meet Ámbar Smith: Simón Álvarez’ new flame’. Her breath caught on her throat, while her fingers flew to open the link. The more she read, the tighter her chest felt; they’d left no personal detail untold.

They knew her full name, they knew her age, her uni, what she was studying and the year she was on, that she was on a scholarship and had a nearly perfect GPA; that she lived with her mom and had a younger brother on his dad’s side, her mom’s job and her dad’s office. They knew she was a co-founder of The Fab and Chic, that it was her who’d interview him all those months ago, theorizing that was how they’d met and how long they’d been dating. They briefly mentioned his relationship with Matteo, too.  

Ámbar almost started screaming in the middle of the airport. As if Simón could feel her mood changing, he turned around from where he was talking to Pedro to ask her if something was wrong. He’d asked her at least five times what the problem was, but she just couldn’t speak. It wasn’t until Pedro – or was it Nico? She didn’t remember- opened twitter and showed him what was happening that Simón understood. That’d been the first time she saw him truly pissed off.

“How dare they?!” he’d growled, gripping the phone so hard his knuckles turned white. Someone must’ve told him she was still there, because then he turned to her, his arms holding her tight and his tone going down a few octaves, softer. “I’m so sorry, love. I will fix this, I promise I will.”

Her mind went back to the conversation she’d had with Emilia months ago, about how the exposure of the article could get her name out there, how she wished it would. But now, with her personal information, with her life, only a google search away from the public, she felt sick. “This can’t be happening.” She started mumbling, her mind a chaos. “How did they find out? Who could sell me out like this?” Only a couple of people knew what was told to the media, and all of them were trust-worthy. Either one of those people was scum, or the magazine was very good at stalking and digging up information.

“Baby, no. I’ll take care of it, okay? I’ll speak to Antonio and he’ll speak to our lawyer and we’ll see what we can do, alright? I’ll sue them if I can, make them delete it-”

That made her snap. “It’s all over the internet, Simón! Nothing ever gets completely deleted there! There must be thousands of screenshots already!” Even to her ears she sounded panicked. Her boyfriend’s face fell even more, and she felt worse.

Ámbar knew he’d do everything he could to make her happy. He’d proven that to her time and time again, he always asked first what she wanted to do, what she wanted to eat, which movies she wanted to watch, for him, it was always about her and her wishes. It was her who didn’t want to divulge their relationship just yet, and now, instead of his fans finding out their way, from their mouths, they’d found out by someone else’s. And it was her own fault.

That only pissed her more.

“What do you want to do?” he asked, grabbing her hand to push her to his body, encircling his arms around her waist. She took a deep breath, trying to sigh out her emotions.

“I’m sorry, I know you’re trying to help but I’m just- I’m so mad I just want blood to spill.”

“I understand.” He squeezed her waist slightly, “I’m serious, though. I can call Antonio and we can see how this can be… not as bad. I’ll sue them if that’s what you want.” She felt her heart swell with gratitude. As usual, though, she’d to ask him.

“Is that what you want?”

“This is about you, little gem. But yes, I do want to fight them on this. It’s not only your privacy being stepped on, but Silvana’s and your dad’s, too.”

“I want to know how they did this, and who did it. I want my parent’s info deleted as soon as possible, I don’t care about mine right now, but theirs I want gone.” Ámbar mumbled on his chest, knowing he’d hear it as his head was casted downwards, above hers.

She felt him nod. “I really am sorry, love.”

“Don’t be. I knew this would come sooner than later, and it was me who gave them time to collect my information, instead of me directing their moves.” She sighed out, mentally slapping herself for letting this pass by.

“It’s not your fault they’re assholes.” He tried to make her feel better. Ámbar just hugged him tighter. He held her for about a minute more, before excusing himself to call his manager and publicist and see what he could do.

An hour later, after Simón and his band’s flight had taken off, she’d received another text from her best friend. ‘He did it. It’s gone.’ She let out a sigh of relief.

But she wasn’t stupid. Ámbar knew this was only the beginning, and that, as much as she’d like, they wouldn’t be able to afford erasing every single article someone happened to write about her. It just wasn’t viable.

She did, however, promise herself that, the next time an article popped out about her, it’d be on her terms.

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GETTING PAPARAZZI’ED ON A DATE

It took the media another month before they got another photograph of them together.

Or, well, multiple pictures.

Simón had decided he wanted to take her to a ‘nice’ restaurant to celebrate the end of her semester. Ámbar knew this was also his way of coaxing her into going out for dates instead of the nights in she’d been convincing him to have at his apartment. It wasn’t that she was explicitly limiting them to stay inside the comfort – and privacy- of his home, but she wanted to take precautions in case anyone involved her parents again.

Whom, unsurprisingly, hadn’t heard of their info being leaked until she asked them if they were okay. Her mom had been taken off guard at first, wondering if she needed to change jobs or warn her boss about teenagers and grown men with a camera, but as soon as Simón told her it wasn’t necessary, and that he’d taken care of it, she’d dismissed the whole ordeal and asked her daughter’s boyfriend if he wanted to have dinner with them. Her dad wasn’t as chill. First, because he didn’t even know she was dating a famous band member, and second, he wasn’t thrilled she was exposing her life by dating one. He’d questioned her reasons, asking her if living in expectation of what the world had to say about her everyday was what she wanted, forever shadowed by her boyfriend’s name wherever she went.

She wasn’t proud to admit she’d snapped at him, throwing at his face that he’d left her mom raise her alone after she turned three, and that for that, he had no reason to butt in her relationship. She wasn’t even sure they were going to last, anyway. Nothing was set on stone when it came to relationships. In the end, he’d grunted out that he was okay and promised to call her if something happened, so she could talk to Simón and see what they could do. He also made Simón promise him he’d meet him soon. Ámbar still grimaced when she remembered how awkward that had been; her dad with his ‘hurt my daughter and die’ attitude, her dad’s wife all star-struck and giving out barely coherent responses to Simón’s questions, and her bored, not at all impressed brother making faces at his meal. She wanted to dig a hole and die.

Just like right now.

The dinner itself had gone splendid, the five-course meal always appreciated, especially when it came with a nice sized brownie and ice-cream scoop. She knew something was amiss when Simón asked for the check and the waiter told him it was taken care of. Not because it surprised her, but because it surprised him. She was used to Simón nodding, or even smiling when it happened. To see him frown, though, had her with her guard up.

“What’s wrong?” she whispered as she leaned to him, forcing him to look her way.

“I don’t know the owner, much less asked them to arrange this.” His voice sounded a little strangled, but he squeezed her thigh to not worry her.

“What does that mean?”

“I don’t know.” He huffed, squeezing once more before excusing himself to make a call. She was left alone at their table, confused. The waiter – who hadn’t left yet- seemed to be anxious, looking over his shoulder a couple of times as he waited for Simón to return. She forced herself to smile at him, even when all she wanted to do was to run to her boyfriend and demand an explanation. In the end, she chose to call for the guy’s attention. The waiter’s eyes widened in surprise, but still walked to her side.

“Do you know who arranged for this?”

He gulped. “I’m afraid I’m not allowed to tell you anything, miss.” Ámbar threw him a glare, the one she knew expressed she wasn’t going to take anyone’s bullshit. “The- uh, the manager might’ve arranged for a couple of photographers to come tonight-”

Her glare intensified. “Did my- Mr. Álvarez’ team agree to this?”

The guy loosened his tie a bit. “We uh- well, the calls weren’t returned.” She pursed her lips for a second, nodding as she stood up to look for Simón.

“I’m sure you’ll hear from them very soon.” She didn’t bother to excuse herself, and just walked away.

Ámbar found her boyfriend walking outside the bathrooms’ hallway, angrily whispering to whoever was on the other side. She called his name, making him snap his head her way; when his brain recognized it was her, he threw a hast goodbye to the phone and hung up.

“Love, I’m so sorry, I swear I didn’t know anything. The owner-” She raised her right hand, stopping him.

“I know, the waiter told me. What’s the plan?” Simón sighed heavily and got close enough so he could pull her to his body, encircling his arms around her. Something she’d learnt he tended to do when he was trying to comfort her, and his own anger.

“There’s only a couple of them out there, two or three, max. It’s not enough for Antonio to send someone over, and since this place collides with another building on the back, we can’t go out from there either. Both the principal exit and the emergencies one, are on the front.” He sighed again, the air hitting her neck, making her shudder. He must’ve mistaken it for fear, because he pulled her closer, cradling her head between his hands. “I promise I won’t let them publish anything. If I must pay them the double whoever called them over did, I will, princess… or I could go out alone and call you when-”

That made her scowl. “Don’t call me princess.” He smiled, knowing well she was only kidding – partially. Then it was her turn to sigh. “You don’t have to pay them anything, Simón. I can’t keep letting you waste your money to keep them off my back, it’s not fair. I- I think we should just… get it out of our way.”

“I don’t mind-”

She interrupted him. “I know you don’t mind wasting that money, but I do. I’m ready to take that step, Simón. I want to. Unless you see us breaking up soon – which, by the way, I don’t- there’s absolutely no reason to keep us hidden.”

He stared at her for a moment, before the biggest smile she’d seen on his face, appeared. “I don’t see us breaking up soon, either. Hopefully never.” Ámbar rolled her eyes.

“Now, don’t get too ahead on me yet.” His only response was to attach his lips to hers. He kissed her once, softly, pulling back slightly to breath heavily before kissing her again. This time he let his tongue roam over the ridges of her lips, and it took everything in her not to open her mouth to allow his tongue to meet hers; they were still in public, whether she wanted it or not. So, she let their lips part briefly, to then kiss him again, soft and gentle, before pulling away completely. “As nice as that was, we still have to deal with the problem here, buttchin.”

Simón pouted, showing off his chin dimple – aka, the reason of his nickname-. “Don’t call me that.”

She rolled her eyes again, smirking playfully, and grabbed his hand. “C’mon, I want to go home and kiss you some more.” He was quick to drop the pout.

“Should I pay for our meal? I don’t want anything from them.” She shook her head, lacing her fingers with his as they walked to the entrance.    

“And give them free publicity? Hell no. Just talk to Antonio and have them pay you back.” When she saw their waiter and a man approaching them, she glared at them, a deep scowl on her face, warning them to stay away. If she was going to allow this to happen, she didn’t want to do it angry. And talking to the person who had put her in the situation would surely anger her up.

As he helped her put her coat on, he took the opportunity to whisper on her ear a couple of instructions. “If you don’t want to show your whole face just keep your head down, grab my hand tightly and I’ll guide us to the car once it’s brought to us. I’ll chat them up and, if we’re lucky, they’ll just take a couple of pictures with the restaurant as our background. If you feel uncomfortable squeeze my hand tightly. If they ask me something and you’re okay with me answering, squeeze my hand once, twice if it’s a negative, okay?” By the time he’d finished talking he was already putting his own coat on. She merely nodded, offering her hand so he’d take it again. He counted to ten before walking them outside.

True to his word, there were only three men outside waiting for them. Ámbar was quick to lower her eyes, hiding half of her body with his as she leaned her forehead on his right shoulder. It was in times like this when she was thankful her boyfriend was tall enough so even if she was in heels, she could still use him as a shield.

“Good evening!” he chirped out, and she could bet all the money on the world he was faking a grin. They all chorused his greeting, asking him if he was okay with answering a couple of questions as they took their pictures. She squeezed his hand once. “Sure! What do you want to know?” his tone was cheerful, and polite.

“Did you two have a nice time?” one of the men asked, and Ámbar could hear the flashes going off. She squeezed once again.

“I had the best company, so yes.”

“Your girlfriend’s a beauty.” Another of them offered, making Simón squeeze her hand this time. She squeezed back.

It took him a second to respond, a little less cheery, but still polite. “She is, thank you.”

“How long have you two been dating? Some people had thought you had broken up after no one had seen you out for weeks.” The first men spoke again, his curiosity clear as water.    

Ámbar gripped his hand once, sending a silent prayer to the skies for whoever was bringing his car to hurry. “A while. I think you can imagine why we laid low the last month.” His answer was enough for them to get the hint. They moved the topic to his album, getting two more questions before the sound of an engine told her his car had arrived. “I’m afraid we have to go now. Thank you, gentlemen. Have a nice evening.” Her boyfriend started walking again, leading her to the passenger side and opening the door for her, as usual. For the first time, she didn’t look back at him to thank him. Instead, she kept her head low, letting her hair fall to cover her profile. He was quick to get into his side.

It wasn’t until they had drove off for a couple of streets, that she looked up again, letting a long, heavy sigh leave her lips. Simón grabbed her hand again, kissing the back of it comfortingly.

She sighed again. Wishfully hoping for it to get easier, even if she knew tonight was nothing compared to other times she’d seen other people deal with paparazzies.  

They’d gotten lucky tonight, who knew what it’d happen from now?  

[winterbornwitches-blog]

Tarot Beginnings ~

Hiya Lads, and Gals and general pals,

Today I have chosen to write about tarot! For lots of people it’s often the starting point to their witchcraft journey, for some it’s just something they like to dabble with and for others...well you get the gist. Everyone uses tarot differently due to everyone’s individuality. This is not to say that people can’t or don’t approach it similarly just that it’s good to remember that there are no two people who are the exact same. It can be used for divination and various other things.

The first thing I would say about tarot is that you have to take it with a pinch of salt, personally I believe that fate and the future isn’t fixed as such but more like a stream. Our choices and actions in our lives shape our paths and when you change something drastically - to me the stream stops and carves another path. This feels like a very long winded explanation about starting tarot but these are things I’ve learnt and what i feel can really help you when you’re in that lost stage at the beginning. For me tarot is just a tool to get advice from sometimes, a way of communicating with the universe if you will, but it shouldn’t be something you depend on!

Just got your deck?

When starting out, many will recommend sleeping with your deck under your pillow - I, personally, did do this and felt that it helped to get the cards acquainted with my energies. There are disagreements on whether cards have their own personality or if it’s an extension of our energies in a way? But again this varies depending on the user and the their belief system. Generally I would wait a few days before trying to do readings with them, but that’s because my belief system means that I’d be kinda trying to talk through a dead phone line in a way. Whenever you feel comfortable doing so, it’s good to take them out and go through the cards. Looking at each one and discerning all the emotions and symbolisms is a great way to start to connect with your cards and simultaneously force you to start honing your intuition.

There is a superstition of not buying your first deck or any tarot and that they have to be gifted to you, but that’s not something I subscribe to. I also don’t really get as fussed about people touching my cards. If I feel someone’s vibes are super off and am uncomfortable at the thought of them touching my cards, then I would probably avoid reading for them or only let them touch the cards minimally. It’s a difficult thing for me since I believe that readings can sometimes be helped by touch but eh - my take on things is very case-by-case and I like to go with the flow. So again I would urge you to look at your own feelings about it and decide whether it’s something to consider or not.

Cleansing? How do? Whelp! So everything has some vibes, and some sort of energy signature. But sometimes energy conductors (e.g humans, crystals, tools, houses) tend to absorb all energy they interact with including the negative kind. This sometimes means that it’s necessary to cleanse them and make it a nice clean and blank slate. Visualizations can help you cleanse the cards with your own energy as well.The next step after getting acquainted with your cards is to cleanse them. This can be done by letting them rest in sunlight (make sure they cant get damaged though), or moonlight. You can place some salt around the cards (perhaps wrapped so they don’t pick up the salt). Crystals are also a lovely way to help cleanse your cards while charging them.

Quick visualization starting point:

(this isn’t a be all or end all, this is just my methods. Feel free to experiment with this starting point and just make it your own also please center and ground)

Take your cards in your hands, if you feel it’s important for you to make them all facing the right way up and in order that’s cool too, but I’m also lazy so. Start to reach out with your energy to the cards, feeling it travel from your core, travelling through your body and imagine the pure white energy flowing through your hands and replacing the cards previous energy. Pushing out the negative or positive and rendering it a neutral space. You can make it more fancy with imagery if you like - but that’s how I do it. Then I just leave it around my crystals to absorb their defining points to charge the cards up.

How does Tarot help my witchiness or yknow spirituality?

This is obviously no accurate science, and anything I think or say is based on my own experiences only! Intuition is something I’ve always seen to work similarly with muscles. Some people are more naturally athletic and have natural aptitude in intuition but like all things - with practice and hard work you have just as much opportunity to improve your own. The key really is constant practice and writing it down. It’s an oldie but a goodie and generally applies to many things in life, I feel.

When I started out with tarot, I tried my best to do at least one reading a day; I started to get into the habit of carrying them around - doing readings for random people is also something I like to do. It’s not exactly safe, so always be cautious and start out with people you know who wont take anything personally if you stumble over meanings. But all these things together started to improve my senses and generally reading started to become like second nature.

My own process with my cards:

My process even now, is to do a quick little shuffle and cut the cards to whatever spread I’m doing and to turn them all over. I scan each card and try to build an overall picture that has multiple stories happening within it. Then I write down in my grimoire or whatever I have available to make a note of my personal interpretations of each card, then I look online or in a book (whatever your resource for learning, make sure you’ve looked at a few and kinda found one that matches your usual meanings, since there are tons of interpretations) then I write the resource meaning and see how far or close they are and adjust the overall meaning to something that I feel clicks with the reading and the message it tries to get across.

All in all, tarot is a journey you have to take yourself, it’s okay to stumble, it’s okay to make mistakes. Days where the cards just don’t feel willing to answer or might feel disconnected to you are going to happen. What matters is that you do your best to keep recording everything and trying again on another day. There will be slow times - where you’re practicing and practicing and you don’t see any improvement. And there will be scary times, when that reading you did was mad accurate and scared the bejesus out of you. You just gotta take all of those times and roll with it sometimes. It’s spirituality after all, it’s about what you think and how you feel and how you react.

Lots of love,

Mizzy

(if you have any general questions? Feel free to hit up the ask box)

If you would like a free 1-2 card reading feel free to send us a DM either on or off anon. If you could review us that would be awesome and if you were looking for more detailed readings we are open to discussion regarding payments. Thanks again, have a lovely day!! <3

~ Disclaimer: We are happy to give readings, however we must stress that we will not give readings based on health problems, romantic relationships or any potentially distressing topics. Mundane before magical peeps! Anything we say should be taken with a healthy level of skepticism and we are under no responsibility for the outcome of any of these readings~

[kitaryu]

an open letter @osavior

firstly, i want to make it very clear that my intention in this post is not to attack daisy, also known as the popular mercy blog osavior (previously valkiriya, and serenidae before that), but rather to spread the truth. the intention of this post isn’t to hurt her, but to increase the awareness of people who have no idea what she’s done and decide for themselves what to do from there. all urls, names, discord tags, and aliases shown here are done so with permission - those that requested anonymity were blocked out. colors remain consistent with people throughout all screencaps, so as not to confuse anyone. in this post ill be discussing how daisy has directly catfished mun photos, lied about being a med student, potentially lied about her age, potentially lied about having cancer, manipulated several people and tried to turn multiple unaffiliated people against each other.

before i get into the details, i want to establish that i considered myself very close friends with daisy some time ago (here is proof, if you need it. there are posts upon posts upon posts of interaction both ic and ooc between us in which we both make our affiliation with each other very clear). therefore, none of this is shown out of any sort of petty jealousy towards her, but rather as a way to open peoples’ eyes. whether you choose to continue interacting with her or not is up to you, but please at least keep this post in mind. with that being said, let’s continue:

catfishing

beginning with the most concrete claim, multiple people have said that daisy has posted fake images of herself. in fact, she took it from specific sources, which i will provide in a moment. while i couldnt find any posts of her putting up her “mun pictures” (i believe she deleted them after people mentioned it), many who there at the time can confirm that she did post pictures. for those of you that remember, here is @beijide​ (andy) finding the source she took her pictures from:

andy isn’t the only person who saw them, however. multiple people mentioned it:

we’ll come back to the last screenshot later, but here are four people specifically who remember her using the photos from this instagram and this pinterest, run by the same person. you can ask any of the three of us who have opted out of anonymity if you want to confirm that she posted those photos, or anyone else who remembers it. “but, wait,” you might say. “what if daisy really is the person who runs this blog?”

at first, it’s easy to say that she is. after all, her area of living, according to her old skype account, is the same as this woman’s. however, the owner of mod med blog’s real name is mary ella wood, very publicly announced. it’s no secret. daisy’s real name, however, is leonie - a name she used to go by, back when i first met her in october of 2016 (she gave herself an alias after a little while and then changed it multiple times afterward). what’s more, daisy claims to be a medical student. what kind of medical student has enough time to run a popular instagram, pinterest, and on top of that, a very powerful roleplay blog for tumblr? i think i’ve made my case for this part.

lying about education and potentially age

well, just because she lied about her photos doesn’t mean she lied about being a medical student - but there is evidence to support this, as well.

a year ago, when i spoke to daisy on a daily basis, she said that she was six years into med school:

only a little while before this, she claimed to be graduating in about a year:

please note the date on this screencap. october 20, 2016, she says she has about a year left. at the time of posting this, it is november 10, 2017, and her rules, which have only recently been updated (as she just remade her blog within the past few days) claim that she is still a full-time college student:

the text on this is very small, but it says: “gonna make this short and simple.

i’m a full time college student. i will not always be active !”

she also claims to be 20 years old at the time, so 21 now:

however, if daisy was in med school for 6 years as of the time she sent these messages, that means that she started med school when she was fourteen years old...which is literally impossible. so, how old is she?

honestly speaking, i don’t know how old she is. however, she has given some unintentional hints.

in the last screencap, daisy is talking about her mom asking when she’ll get married. so, we know that her older half sister is 20, so she can’t be any older than that, which proves that she can’t possibly be a med student in her 6th year of college.

but just because she isn’t in her 6th year doesn’t mean she’s not a med student at all. however, her work ethic doesn’t at all match what is required out of a med student:

but, wait, that doesn’t sound right. typically, med students are known for being hard workers - and there’s a reason for that.

remember where she said that her gpa and grades were terrible? yeah. i dont have any way to specifically disprove her being a med student (though she can’t be in her sixth year) but at this point, it’s very doubtful.

manipulation and hypocrisy

now that i’ve proven the basics about her, let’s move on. there is so much to talk about here, and honestly speaking, this section and the last are the main points of the whole post - because the body count of daisy’s grasp is terribly large, to the point where i have counted 9 personal victims, including myself, and that’s just who i know about.

so, let’s begin with her direct manipulation:

she was talking about playing heroes of the storm here, because oni genji had just been released, back when he was a promotional event exclusive. this is pretty direct, honestly, because it’s so passive aggressive it hurts - but i had just gotten home from a marching band competition. i was really tired.

don’t get me wrong, wanting attention and nice comments once in a while is fine. there’s nothing wrong with that. but getting upset because you specifically asked for compliments? baiting me to send you compliments? what’s even worse is that multiple people sent things, and were often ignored:

i would send things, too. i sent a lot of nice things, and she would ignore them and then say that no one sent anything.

i poured so much love into my relationship with daisy. i absolutely adored her, and i told her that all the time, over skype, over asks, anon and not. i wrote with her every day, i spoke to her every day, i talked about headcanons and life stuff and shared my joy and pain with her, because i loved daisy. she was one of my best friends for a long time, and as much as i would like to say that maybe, she was just venting to me, she made her feelings very personal. so...

...how in the world did she get this idea? why did she think it was okay to make this personal? it definitely seems like she was trying to get me to talk to her more, or maybe even to only talk to her. i dont know.

she had been baiting me to ask what was wrong for about five minutes if i remember correctly, and then in an effort to respect her privacy, i let her be, and offered my support in case she needed it, where she instantly took the opportunity to complain about how little i spoke to her despite the fact that i spoke to her on a daily basis. whats more, a large portion of my inactivity when it came to speaking to people was that i was constantly exhausted because of marching band, and also because i had so little time outside of it.

i’ll address it more in the next section, but this mercy (we’ll call them red) was constantly under daisy’s scrutiny. on top of that, she was very subtly hinting two things - the first being that i shouldnt even so much as think about complimenting another mercy, and the second being that i should give her compliments, instead.

why is she trying to act like i’m some sort of popular jock here? daisy has always been a more popular blog than me. and that never really bothered me, because i liked her, at the time, but i still have no idea what sorts of “things i was included into,” because there really wasn’t...anything. i’d play overwatch a lot with my friends, but that was genuinely about it, and was more due to the fact that i played the game every day, with or without people to play with me.

as for the shipping, i never even had that many ships. i had one with her, one with bibi, one with michael, and before she deleted her widow, one with tay...and thats really it. she shipped a lot more often than i did, but she would drop her ships and blame it on the other person (which i’ll get to here soon). daisy has been through tons of ships and i spoke to a good amount of people she used to ship with when gathering information for this post. they were the ones abandoned.

not only does this imply that she’s a perfect angel who is wronged for no reason, but it also shoves the idea that you dont have the right to unfollow people for whatever you wish. you are under no obligation to keep following people. even if there is no reason at all to unfollow someone, that is your choice. you do not have to follow anyone you dont want to follow.

this was honestly one of the most direct and passive aggressive things she ever sent to me. i was tired, i had just woken up from about an hour (i think) accidental nap after a stressful day of marching band (which was always very tiring), i was very groggy, and she had the gall to say this right to my face.

its still so strange to me. i remember being confused when she said this, but i didnt say anything...but i have never heard anyone say anything like this. more often, youre asked how you cant like children, or told its different when theyre your own, or told that you will learn to like them and change your mind.

this is still confusing considering the fact that daisy has been arguably the most popular blog in the fandom for a very long time. tons of people liked her, and i know i, at least, absolutely adored her. plus, no one, from my knowledge, has ever called her crazy. no one has called her deranged.

probably the most ironic thing she ever said to me? this. because, i dont know how many of you are aware of this, but daisy dropped me. she quite directly replaced me for another genji blog because i “wasnt active” even though i actually was on this blog, slowly coming back to it with some lowered amounts of replies because i was a week from graduating high school and my focus was more on that than on doing my drafts. and she didn’t just do this to me - she did it to multiple people, as i’ll touch on later in this post. here is what it looked like when daisy dropped me:

considering daisy was always going on about how she didnt want people to replace her, this is pretty obviously hypocritical.

she was talking about people who had dropped me as mains before, here. she says here that i was the longest friend she had and her favorite and her number one (while dropping me? lmao) but after this conversation, she talked to me exactly once, one message, and she never spoke to me again. she never tried. she deleted me off of skype (i never deleted her, so while i cant message her on skype, i still have access to everything we said over it) and we unfollowed each other on tumblr after some time and we never spoke again.

this is the one and only time ill say this publicly: daisy was the reason i went on an indefinite hiatus. i was tired of being dropped (it was the third time i had been dropped so that someone could main another genji, or at least it seemed that way at the time) and it hurt me a lot. i was tired of it. i was tired of getting replaced over and over again.

daisy was talking about how she didnt ever have a real relationship (romantically) and when i tried to explain to her that romance is glorified and she shouldnt value herself based on that, she turned my words completely around. my mom used to do this all the time when i lived with her. it is extremely manipulative.

the funny thing about her trying to convince me to send her stuff here is that i basically liked every one of her starter calls. i would send her almost every meme. i would give her anons and talk to her all the time. she would constantly get things from other people and ignore them:

and then she would complain about people not sending things.

she only apologized for things she said to me when looking for attention for it, or at least it seemed that way. she would purposely say shes not okay vaguely so that i would ask her what was wrong and comfort her, which is the same problem im currently having with someone else - but that’s a different situation.

daisy used her illness as an excuse all the time. she would blame anything toxic or manipulative that she was called out for on her bpd, and the only time she apologized for anything, it was extremely self-deprecating - she clearly wanted me to pity her, despite the fact that she had just fucked me over.

and then there’s this. daisy spoke about this a lot - basically, any d.va ship was considered borderline pedophilia to her. she wanted people to tag their ships with large age gaps, but really, considering she was okay with around a 20-30 year age gap between mercy and soldier but not with a 7 year age gap between d.va and lucio, it was less about age gaps and more about d.va specifically. in fact, she specifically mentioned in her rules that she wanted any and all d.va ships tagged, but didnt specify anything else at all. and considering she claims to be only a year older than d.va? considering daisy was talking to an eighteen-year-old? d.va is a fully matured adult, whether she still occasionally acts immaturely or not. ffs she is in the south korean military. she has a career, and one that requires a lot of mental preparation, at that.

before her mental illness is used as a shield for her, however, whether by her or anyone else, please read this post and this post.

potentially lying about cancer

daisy never spoke often about this, so i’m not entirely certain, but there are definitely things that dont add up here. remember the mention of skin cancer earlier?

well, i always felt it too personal to ask her more about cancer, but out of everything she told me of her own volition, daisy did tell me a few things that didn’t quite make sense.

she is pretty clearly saying that she’s had chemotherapy here. she says she had cancer.

i dont know about most people, but when i had a benign tumor in my brain and needed neurosurgery to remove it (a pituitary adenoma, for those of you who know what that is. my case was apparently extremely rare because it was a tumor inside of a cystic mass, but it was necrotic and not cancerous), i was not okay with tumor jokes. it took a year and a half, maybe two years, for my parents to stop joking about it, and i wasn’t okay with them making humor out of something like that. but, what really doesn’t make sense is this:

she says here, november 23, 2016, that she has only been in remission a month.

but she says here, 5 days earlier, that she is donating blood (and has donated multiple times before), that she is healthy.

i dont know what the specific requirements are, but i know that despite me being physically healthy now (at least as far as illnesses and whatnot are concerned), i was never allowed to donate blood (or plasma) because i took hormone regulation pills as a result of my tumor. if blood drives wont accept someone who takes a hormone regulation pill to stabilize their prolactin levels, why would they accept blood from someone who literally had chemotherapy? someone who supposedly had skin cancer?

im not the only one, either, though. one of the people she claimed replaced her (again, other way around) found out that she was faking cancer, too, and their friend apparently had evidence, though they didnt think people would believe them - which is understandable, considering daisy is an extremely influential figure in the overwatch rp community.

turning people against each other

here is quite possibly the part most directly affecting people. on multiple occasions, daisy would turn people who were completely unaffiliated against each other. people who had never met, or at least never spoke much.

i was talking to @beijide about the upper screenshot, because when daisy dropped andy for another widowmaker, she vague posted about andy (who, mind you, has a hard time speaking with people personally, though they found it understandably easier to jump into a group conversation) the whole time. andy summed up their situation pretty well when i showed them what daisy said to me - though it’s only a guess, and she may not have been talking to me about andy specifically.

and then, later:

she pretty clearly says here that this person (ill call them orange, for the sake of this post) replaced her. i didn’t know orange at all, but with this, daisy convinced me to avoid them. i was under the impression for a year that orange dropped daisy - but in reality, when i spoke to them, they explained the truth:

daisy ostracized people from the entire fandom on multiple occasions - not just once or twice, but all the time, because she found someone better or because they werent active or just because they played the wrong character.

at first, i wasnt going to say anything about this situation. i wasnt going to talk to anyone about what she did to me, even though it hurt, because i thought that the only thing she did was replace me - just a problem to do with me, nothing to hurt other people. i didnt realize just how detailed everything she did was.

and i’m not the first to make a post, either. red (remember when i mentioned them earlier?) tried to make a callout for her before over the same things and was written off as a jealous mercy who faked evidence to make daisy look bad:

this was after daisy had already turned me against red early in our friendship by convincing me that red had stolen headcanons from her:

i’ll come back to this last bit shortly.

she convinced me that red was stealing her headcanons - even though these headcanons are fairly common for mercy players, since she has a certain air about her. i tried to find red to ask them about the truth of the situation, but was unable to find their blog. from my knowledge, they have since left the overwatch community.

later, she sent messages which very intentionally ostracized red:

and then, regarding the callout red made:

but red is hardly the only person who got turned against as a result of her. she also turned against @climxtologist, who was originally her friend, when talking about red:

when i spoke to nicole, however, she told me the truth of what happened.

even if it had only been orange, red, and nicole who had been ostracized by daisy, it would be far too many - but unfortunately, her body count doesn’t end there.

i don’t know specifically who she was talking about here, because there were many stories she told that sounded like that, but i had an idea when i was speaking to orange. i started speaking to nikki about everything daisy did, and though he wasnt directly victimized by her, he felt the affects of having friends who were, as well as being a mercy when daisy made sure that other mercy players would never get so much attention:

daisy, despite saying that she wouldnt keep people from rping or interacting with other mercy players, subtly kept them from ever talking to them. in fact, i was talking about it on discord, too:

i didnt want to upset daisy by talking to other mercy players, and i know that i wasnt the only one who felt this way. she was extremely possessive of her mains:

yet, although she would get upset when anyone else talked to another mercy, she spoke or interacted with other versions of someones muse all the time. so why was she allowed to talk to other genji players when i couldnt talk to other mercys?

she even got extremely nasty about people who i used to main who i had thought dropped me (the circumstances were a bit different when i actually got around to talking to them about it, so my disposition here is pretty gross as well, admittedly, and i dont have any excuses for it):

she was extremely rude about red, who she had never actually held a conversation with. she directly called red a trashbag, called all of their friends trashbags, and claimed no one liked them or their blog, as well as calling it irrelevant. that’s nasty.

but possibly the worst is when she tried to turn me against one of my mains, and closest friends:

i really should have stood up for bibi here, but i was too scared to upset daisy about it. when i spoke to bibi about it, they said this:

yes, she said that void was in the wrong for what they did - but she also spoke about them like what they said to bibi wasnt that bad. and that isn’t okay.

conclusion

daisy pretty explicitly manipulated and lied about a lot of things, including things that would actively harm other people. i am not telling anyone to stop interacting with daisy, but i want people to be aware of everything shes done, because she is actively harming other people, and if anyone decides to break off contact and interaction with me about this, i understand completely. please do not attack or send hate to daisy, as that is not the intention of this post. it is not created for retribution. it is not made for revenge. it was made to protect people and give them the knowledge to make their own decisions.

also this was really funny to me:

[someonetheelusivefangirl]

how did you do the thing with keith in the klance drawing? it looks really cool but i cant figure it out!

Firstly, sorry I didn’t make this sooner, but I’ve been busy with work. Secondly, if I tagged you and you weren’t actually curious, sorry!

Anyway, I seem to have the impression that the majority of people would like to understand my use of transparency in my recent Klance fanart...

So, I have decided to oblige in creating this post of tips and random information about transparent art.

I warn you, this will be quite long.

The most important thing about making transparent art is having an app/program which allows you to make transparent drawings. Most advanced art programs have the option to save works in a transparent format. I use MediBang Paint for my work as it’s free and allows me to use layers (I make a lot of my art on my phone, hence the screenshots).

My first tip is to create a black layer underneath your art so that you can see what will be visible when the picture is viewed as transparent (e.g.when it is clicked on in Tumblr).

Having the black layer will make some simple mistakes easy to spot, say for example, forgetting that you need to actually colour in white areas for them to still show up when clicked (e.g.Lance’s armour in my piece).

The most important thing about creating a piece which involves different “shades” of black/grey, which disappear, is that you don’t select a grey, but instead change the opacity of black (any grey colours would show up when clicked if they were solid colours).The same applies to shades of white which show up when clicked.

By changing the opacity, you change how “see-through” the colour is (the higher the opacity, the closer it is to being the normal colour in transparent art).

If you want to/can only use one layer in your art, overlapping the pen is one way to create darker shades (instead of changing the opacity everytime). I used this in my Langst piece. When overlapping, make sure to keep holding down as you colour a layer in to produce a smooth layer, as opposed to if you were shade in lots of brushstrokes.

You start with the part you want to end up as the darkest.

The same principle applies to overlapping white, except you want to start with the part you want to end up as the lightest.

The trouble with using one layer is that, although you can use a rubber to smooth out edges, if you pass through the place you shaded before, it too is rubbed out.

1st method by using layers is to make one layer for each part/shade, either adjusting the opacity of the brush or the layers to creating the right shading. So each shade of Keith (his hair, skin, the red parts of armour etc) consisted of a different layer. This meant I could easily rub out or adjust parts without worrying about ruining the shading of the rest of the image.

HOWEVER, I still had to be careful about the different layers overlapping, as this would change the shade, so the edges between different shades had to be perfect for it to work.

Which brings me on to the final method. By using overlapping to shade your pieces, but each part in a different layer, you can assure the edges will be perfect, and still use a rubber to change the shape of each shaded part, without ruining the shading beneath.

Well, there you go. I’m not 100% sure this reads at all well, or even makes sense, but if you managed to understand/learn anything, I’m glad! If you want to know more, feel free to message me, or send me an ask!

Now you can go out and try experimenting with transparent art!

For: anons who wrote the two asks, @geminidragonjasminealexandra, @dadness, @thatcasualwolf, @pureklance, @yes-literally-empty-inside, @yukinmagic, @bruuper, @robaroo72, @skittles190900, @imperial-evolution, @xxashwiixx, @mystic-internet-explorer, @peasforsamholt, @somebodeh-once-told-meh, @dont-give-me-spooks, @thefantasticalwriter, @just-peachy-keith, @spaceplayground, @i-write-shakespeare-not-disney, @rainbright8 and anyone else who was curious!

[its-a-queer-thing]

Hey anon from earlier here, part one was mostly appreciating the greatness that is the jerk off scene in s4 because noel was able to give alot of nuance to that scene and it's underappreciated. This the first time we get mickey completely alone not having to put his mask on or protect himself from anyone and he is vulnerable he's just broken and sad and it's a great scene for mickey because its a real turning piont for how we see him. Noel did amazing (I cant Remember all of my points sorry)

Part 2 I would also like to point out that Mickey isn’t even doing a *it’s not gay if it’s straight porn cop out* he’s like “no. Ian. My sexuality is ian Gallagher.” And you still see him struggling with it because he’s like “fuck I am jerking of to my boyfriend who broke up with me” 😭 *punch mirror because of stupid internalized homophobia* And there is so much more and I love it and I know No one gives a fuck but… for Mickeys character development it is very important(at least to me).

Pt3 so yeah I really wanted to talk about it because someone was telling me they skip parts of season four because ian isn’t with mickey- it’s not “worth it” I’m just sad because that was a scene that I felt was a big turning piont for onscreen mickey. And I have a lot of feeling and wanted to talk about it to someone and I love you sorry for my feels. Also, that’s Mickeys first scene completely alone right? It’s a powerful scene to intro a person’s internal conflict coming out externally

Thank you so much for sending me your part 1! I just wanted to make sure I didn’t miss anything!

Yes, this is a SUPER important scene and while I don’t think it’s ignored, I also don’t know that it is discussed a whole lot. I at least don’t see much about it. I keep trying to think to make sure we’re not wrong, but I AM pretty sure this is his first time he’s on screen 100% alone except when he was trying to stop himself from crying in his bedroom in 3x12, but that was only a glimpse of a moment and not the entire scene. THIS scene is an entire weighted moment with him by himself, with his thoughts, with his emotions and we get to see a lot of things pass through his mind without ANY words. This is only one example of why I think Noel is one of the worlds’ greatest actors and it kills me how underrecognized he is. He was able to turn this 1 minute scene into a whole interior monologue without saying a damn word.

It was interesting how he was looking at himself in the mirror…

Like he’s trying to remind himself that he is Mickey fucking Milkovich and he needs to get the fuck on with his life and that he doesn’t cast his eyes down for anyone. Like he’s pumping himself up because living in his environment with his abusive piece of shit father and now his rapist and wife, and after losing the ONE person in his life he felt understood him… He needs a pick-me-up for sure. (Plus, can we appreciate for a second that Mickey knows he’s a little thug and needs to have confidence to rule the streets the way he does? That swagger took practice, I bet! Anyway…)

I think this moment ^ is seriously under discussed. I never noticed how he still is giving The Gaze to Ian even when it’s just the picture. This guy is so head over heels in love and it’s so heartbreaking in this case because they are apart and I think Mickey is regretting, basically every second of his life, that he didn’t chase Ian harder or convince him to stay. And the way he positioned the picture, almost seemed to me like he was trying to sink into a moment or memory of Ian standing right in front of him. Obviously I’m reading far too much into it but that’s just what I see…

So now he’s giving one last go at trying to get off without Ian because he’s trying so hard to move on, but is slowly figuring out that Ian is what he wants (yes I mean “what” not just “who”). I think this is the final straw for him realizing how much Ian means to him and how much he needs him. And I think it pisses him off. I also think that Mickey is just starting to learn that sex isn’t ALWAYS just physical. Sure, for some people it is, and for him it was, but sometimes that changes–especially when love gets involved. He can’t get Ian out of his head and it’s killing him that he can’t because I think he wants to move on with his life and do everything he’s supposed to do so there are as few complications as possible at home. But here’s that stupid redhead goofball who has his claws in him and won’t let go. Mickey tries replicating his experience with Ian so he can get off, first with the redhead woman (who was scary btw, omg) and now to Ian’s picture. It’s almost like he’s chasing a high, but keeps coming up short.

So his punching the mirror I think is a lot of things… He’s frustrated that even with everything he’s been through, he’s still gay (even if he won’t put that label to it); even with everything Ian’s put him through, he still loves him (even if he won’t admit it to himself yet); even with Ian gone, he still wants him; and because of all of these things he is so angry at himself that he figuratively punches himself in the face. He very easily could have punched Ian’s picture, but he didn’t. Why? Because Mickey blames himself, not Ian. It’s himself he’s angry at. He knows he’s the reason Ian ran away and that Ian only went through with it because Mickey didn’t fight harder. Mickey knows deep down that he could have changed the kid’s mind. But he didn’t. And as much as I think he’s always struggled with self-loathing, whether it be due to his internalized homophobia or just a result of an abusive upbringing, I think this is what is really making him hate himself right now. He has no idea where Ian is, if he’s okay, and though he believes he shouldn’t care, he still does.

Then reality comes knocking (literally) and he’s reminded of ANOTHER reason he hates his life. Though it’s not Svetlana’s fault in particular that he’s in this position, and I think he knows that, the fact is he’s still living with his rapist and the figure that chased Ian away. Ian ran away because Mickey got married and he wouldn’t fight for him, so Svet is just adding to that self-loathing and irritation. I just love when he rolls his eyes skyward when Svetlana comes knocking almost like “Of COURSE she’d be the one knocking.”

Overall this is just a super powerful scene and I hope I did what you wanted me to, Anon. I don’t know if you necessarily wanted an analysis, but here ya go! :D

You mentioned a friend who skips Mickey’s scenes without Ian… Well, I personally think that’s a huge mistake. In the teeniest of scenes, Noel adds so fucking much to his character that it’s as though he is the center of the story line and this scene is SO powerful. I hope you are able to convince your friend to rewatch season 4 ALL the way through because Mickey EVOLVES this season and it’s a privilege to witness…

Thanks for the ask and for the love! Much love in return and please drop by my box whenever you want to talk about anything else! :D 

[chickenfetus]

ALL MY EGG (and for the four names: jae, killer kang, minhyuk (whichever one), and santa

deadass i did the 100 questions ask meme for this ask and almost posted it rip

🐰 what is one secret that you’ve never told anyone?

theres literally nothing i dont even know what to say ???? 

💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be?

not 2 be delusional but i would give up my world to hug changkyun

🐹 what are some of your favourite Pokémon and why?

glaceon is UP THERE idk why honestly but the sinnoh games were my first and i just??? i was really into ice and snow and shit u know so glaceon... thakn u

another pkmn ill always have is lucario ????? its just so cool?????

🌠 if you were in charge of the world, what would the world look like?

hopefully forgiveness and like???? acknowledging mistakes and learning from those u know jst positive stuff and like?? water. god i love water

👀 what was the most recent vivid dream that you had?

hm okay i think this one was from last night or the night b4??? and like???? idk???? i dont even know how 2 start tbh?

so im like hanging over at this two kid’s im a kid 2 i think place and idk we just talk and shit??? idk whomst the boys were tho

and then we get to a scene where its like??? at a train station???? and i go to the washroom to shit or smth idk thankfully i didnt shit myself irl

then i have to get onto the train which isnt even a train its like a carousel with seats??? and its like on a train track boys this is 2 much and i forgot to get ready my train card thing so the guy (who i was p sure was evil) waited for me to remove it so i got onto the transportation device lmao

and then once im seated i remember i forgot my jacket so i make like hand movements 2 the creep and hes runnig 2 me with my jakcet but the ride’s way too fast so i yell and say ill come back for it even tho im p sure i wasnt going 2

after that i wke up wild

☀️ what do you like the most about your best friend?

i dont have a best friend and all of my friends have their own unique qualities if i went into a rant abt them rn this will b so long

😘 talk about your crush or partner

[minhyuk voice] theres none

💁 if someone was rude to you, would you be rude back?

ya bc im petty but it really depends on the person

🌟 what do you like about yourself? (must choose at least 3 things!)

my personality (the good parts)

my values

my taste in friends (my Big Friends are either geminis or scorpios good)

🐾 what are you scared of most? how will you overcome it?

the dark and bitch isnt gonna turn off her night light any time soon

🎁 what never fails to make you happy?

seeing my favourite happy, listening to the music i like 

💙 what annoys you about some people?

i jjust went into a full out rant abt this on the other reply so ill be quiet now

😤 do you get angry easily?

yeahhhhh 

🐇 what do you always daydream about?

my faves tbh

🌻 if you could change 3 things about the world what would you change?

bad people , gone.

everybody only sends love and happy things on anon

i just want everyone 2 b nice & friendly wars of any sort dont exist and no one wants anybody dead

🍓 send me 4 names: kiss, befriend, kill or marry?

if u sent jae’s name earlier id have trouble so im glad

kiss: tihis is so fucking embarrassing wtf minhyku (mx) but only on the cheek basically everywhere except the lips or anyplace weird

befriend: brian :-0

kill: jae goodbye loser

marry: sanha we can yell every time we gotta turn the lights off

✈️ what is your dream city and why?

tokyo bc its NICE

☕️ talk about your ideal day

cant read

🌸 are you an introvert, ambivert or extrovert?

i suddenly thought of the word ambivore which made me think of the word vore i wanna delete im a both? mayb idk

💧 when was the last time you cried?

nov 3 bc my heart hurts whenever i see ppl being a bad friend

🎵 name 5 songs you love at the moment

oh worm

all alone - day6

with you - astro

dramarama - mx (even though it isnt out yet lmao)

run - bts (the superior bts song)

hellevator - / (i was rly gonna make this mixed languages but rip)

⚡️ if you had any superpower, what would it be and why?

to fly bc im basic

💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say?

dont do that

💚 who are you jealous of and why?

nobody in general????????? 

💎 which one would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? why?

intelligence i have 2 live somehow what if my money gets stolen

🙊 what are you ashamed of?

my humor

🌺 which languages do you know? which do you want to learn?

i (barely) know chinese despite having 2 take it all my life legends only

i know english but im bad at that 2 and its my first language once again legends only

i wanna learn japanese and korean 

🍀 if you could be any fictional character’s best friend/lover, which fictional character would you be?

the cow from voltron 

☁️ talk about your dream universe.

weve already discussed this

💜 which acts of kindness are you going to do today?

oh w-0rm ok so im a regular anon on this persons blog and i wanted to send an ask but never got arnd doing it so im gonna send her one. soon/

🐬 if you could transform into any animal/magical creature, what would you be and why?

let me live my life as a furry and cat

🍄 talk about someone/something you really dislike

are u ready 4 me to b the meanest person yet bc i sure am lets fucking go

so theres this girl. and i know her (unfortunately) and ive known her since like 4 years ago and back then she was already pretty shit tbh

she cried bc she had to sit in between the “weird” and “dirty” girls in our class and she headass cried in front of them and everyone just bc she didnt like the arrangement?? shes called the “dirty” girl disgusting before and has made fun of her in front of everybody its just bad :-/

now. fast forward 3 years and in addition to still being disrespectful and rude, she now vocalizes her weird fantasies for her “oppas”??? some examples: 

“when i go watch __ perform im gonna climb onto stage and then my mother and my future husband will fight for me” and she calls those kpop idols weird shit and basically sexualizes them/???? she says the weirdest fucking shit on her ig story and tags them??????? 

another thing. she went to korea nd took a picture of a complete stranger and posted it on her public ig and called him her “oppa” and said that they had a “fun day together” despite the guy not knowing her at all???? she posted the pic of him??? i still dont get it tbh 

she wasnt even being ironic at all??? she calls herself & classmates “autistic” whenever she/others do smth dumb or mess up and its just sososososo fucking wrong

being one of the people to see how shes basically grown from bad to worse is something i dont fucking enjoy and i jsut want to leave my class already lmao 

ok but there are times where i do appreciate her because sometimes the class will be rly quiet and the teacher is basically talking 2 themselves but she’ll always respond w/o fail so thats great but its only bc she talks so damn much 

i just got a flashback to when she “jokingly” said she wanted to be a trainee for the rest of her life how do i just. god

😣 talk about some things that have been making you depressed/angry/anxious lately

we’ve once again already discussed this

🍪 what did you want to be as a kid, and what do you want to be now?

i wanted to be various things honestly?? ranging from an astronaut to a vet to an editor to an animator to other stuff i get influenced pretty easily so if i watch smth and i think its cool ill want 2 be that i guess?? ive been trying 2 get rid of that habit so now i have no clue what i wanna be

🍰 what are some of your favourite sugary foods?

sweets and chocolate cake

🍑 what are you obsessed with?

drinking water and staying hydrated

making my friends laugh is great 2

💘 what happens to you when you’re stressed?

acne LMAO 

😪 what are you sick of?

the usual

🙀 are you an adrenaline seeker?

i love scouting on sif and bandori so yeah 

💥 what are some unpopular opinions that you have?

lets not 

☔️ would you consider yourself a good person?

to a certain extent

😊 what do you like to do as hobbies?

use my phone???? send nice anons and comment on art/fics 

🎤 what’s the last song you hummed or sang by yourself?

none

🐝 what’s your worst trait? how are you planning to improve it?

my tolerance for ppl’s shit is so low

🎨 what do you always doodle when you’re bored?

my ocs

🐻 what’s stopping you from chasing your dreams?

i dont have a dream hence myself

🌷 what’s your mbti personality and why do you think it suits you?

infpt i dont rmb shit but yeah

🐶 send me 3 fictional people and I’ll choose my favourite!

falen i dont rmb what u sent

👑 who are your favourite celebrities and why?

i dont follow any :-o zendaya has had my heart ever since shake it off tho

🐴 opinion on day6?

ur rly gonna do this 2m e?

all alone just started playng this is terrible lets get it

so day6. a band i only found out about in late june (thank u boxy) and before this i only ever listened to bts and mx bc my friends stan them so i thought i was gonna expect boys dancing, the usual. 

i clicked i smile and i lost my fucking shit as soon as i saw the instruments because prior to day6 i was a big 5sos fan so this was rly resonating to me tbh and i was just !!! so fukcng excited??? i never intended to even get into day6 honestly??? but after witnessing how good they are and watching about all of the available mvs at that point i was completely in awe so i caved a created a stan twitter for them.

now, this isnt even the most of it. after becoming a fan i realized how much more these 5 boys are. they compose (if im not wrong) and brian writes lyrics for the songs each month because of their everyday6 project and again, im wow-ed because??? the amount of dedication???? they went from releasing 2 title tracks in 2 years to releasing 12 title tracks and 12 bside tracks in a single year. they havent released the december song yet but haviing to work on 2 or more songs in 4 weeks is fucking amazing if you ask me. 

theyre really talented and theyre just so versatile (am i using that word correctly) and each month their songs sound different. this project has given them the opportunity to try new things and you can hear the steady improvement in each of their vocals (dowoonie not so much since he barely gets lines, but we all know hes working hard) and if you listen to their debut song - kongchu and compare it to the version they released along with sunrise it just???? the drumming has even changed from the original version nd its so noticeable that whenever i hear kongchu from 2015 i know its the old ver

to add to those, they do vlives every week and although those vlives are always scheduled it still makes my day seeing them and watching them do the usual. 

one thing im upset about is that how they barely promote themselves, they rarely get on variety shows (the most is individual schedules) and we, as mydays never really get to know the boys so its harder to fall for them as a whole. i dont know if its jyp or day6′s decision but if this is how they want to be known for - their music only, then so be it. we still have jae’s presence on youtube, music access and asc. thats the most we can get and it makes it difficult for us to learn about the rest but thats okay.

another thing. their concerts are something i always look forward to (even though my interest has died down a bit;) their concerts are just so fun to listen to?? there’ll always be mydays who stream the concert so everyone else can listen to them play and they sound so good live it drives me crazy. mydays are always so hyped and whenever mydays sing along it just gives me goosebumps??? bc theyre so???? good????? 

tldr; day6 deserve more, following wise and promotions wise because they work so hard and once this project ends i hope they’ll manage to rest but still remain as a presence that will be known instead of returning to jyp’s dungeon.

🍋 do you consider yourself an emotional person?

there are days where i am more emotional than usual 

📚 share 3 books that you love and your favourite quote from them.

this is tiring

😔 what do you always do when you feel sad? does it help?

i sleep and boy it really helps

😌 what thoughts keep you going when you’re sad?

rest

🌍 which country do you live in?

singapore

🐧 describe yourself in 3 words

lame funny swag

🐵 which quotes changed you?

“rocky swag” - park minhyuk, 2017

💭 do you keep a diary?

nope

💫 who inspires you?

brian kang 

👻 do you believe in ghosts and why?

yes bc i love losing sleep

🎀 what’s your fashion sense like?

terrible

🎬 what are some of your favourite films?

i watched spiderman homecoming and i have no idea why i didnt see the plot twist coming but its GOOD watch it

🍦 what is one treasured childhood memory?

theres none lads

🐼 if you could meet anyone, who would it be and why?

all my internet buddies but sometimes i dont want to bc im kinda....gross

[bicinno]

how do you still find the motivation to keep drawing even though your art isnt that good? i just cant seem to keep on drawing bc i focus on the bad too much

hello there anon! To put it simply, I don’t really wait for motivation to come. To me, motivation is a feeling and like all feelings they’re fickle. They change easily at the drop of a hat. If we rely on motivation and wait for it to come, we wouldn’t get anywhere at all.

We also tend to beat ourselves when we’re not ‘motivated’ to draw, which sends us further into a negative spiral. (I used to be like this but now i’ve changed! i’m gonna explain what I did down below)

First thing you need to do, is to change how you see and feel about your art : I think this is the hardest step ever. Changing how you feel about your art takes time and that’s understandable. The first thing you need to do is take a step back and look at the bigger picture. Re-evaluate. Ask yourself questions that would help you remember the reasons why you began in the first place. (if its something like ‘for the notes and followers’ I suggest you change and pick another thing because if you make art for the satisfaction of others, you won’t be very happy in the long run)

Also take into consideration where you are in life in the present moment. If you have other priorities (like school, work, family etc) its understandable that you won’t have the time to practice and that’s ok (but i’ll explain how to get around that). Life gets in the way of things sometimes and that’s ok.

Also don’t beat yourself up if you’re not improving as fast as you want to and don’t compare yourself to other artists either. It’s not a competition. Other artists started earlier than you and so they’ve had more time to practice and learn. Think of your art as a tiny seed. Each seed is unique and wonderful and it takes time and effort to grow. It’s silly to compare a sprout with a flower that already bloomed, because they’re at different stages in their growth. That’s the same with art.

Second thing you need to do, is set down goals: This is my favourite thing to do! Now that you’re feeling positive and happy about your art (it’s ok if you’re not! that’s fine too it takes time), set down goals on what you want to achieve with your art and break them down further into smaller bits on how you’re going to achieve them and when. For example, this is my art goal for 2017:

(looks like i gotta add improve handwriting to huhuhu ;w;)

And then you can break those down to minigoals that you can do every week, (draw poses on the train, sketch out scenery etc)

Figure out what you want to do with your art, why you want to do it and you’ll figure our how to get there. For example: I’m a self taught hobbyist artist, so I know my rate of learning will be slower than other people (i’m doing Bachelor of Aviation in university ;w;) I can only concentrate on one thing at a time so i picked to learn mostly anatomy while still practising what I worked on last year (colours).

And then get to it! Discipline yourself to draw. Over time, drawing will become a habit and a ‘need to do’ (discipline) rather than a ‘want to do’ (motivation). Set time to practise to achieve your goals. Keep all of your art so you can see progress over time (it’s a good pick me up too)!

here’s mine:

Whoa!! So much improvement in four years!! YEEEE

Remember:

Now go draw!

(tl;dr focus on things that you’re weak in, set goals and discipline yourself to achieve those goals)

I hope this helps anon! And have fun!

[kimdaily]

I looked through your blog to see what was going on and, damn, it's like people forget you're a real life person, too. It always sucks to see big blogs like you I admire feeling stressed because of Tumblr. Like people need to realize that while this is a bangtan/namjoon blog, this is also a personal blog and you're not going to have the answers to every single question. (And I honestly don't understand anons who continue to follow you if they're only going to send hate).

Anonymous said:@ the people who are sending negative comments and suggesting this blog to be deleted etc. - First of all, I’m sorry that people like you have to exist. Try to imagine being dragged by dozens of anonymous assholes every single day in a place that’s supposed to be enjoyable? Please go invest your time and energy into learning how to become better human beings, bc it’s honestly so lame to be investing so much into making someone’s day even worse than it already is. Sab, stay strong

kjjownsme said:I love your blog and everything you do for those of us who enjoy your comments and content but you owe no one a damn thing.

visualseokjin said:‘take a break. like permanently.’ lmao people are so fucking rude. i’m sorry for them and sorry that u have to deal with them. i just wanted to pop in and say that your presence and everything you do for this fandom is so appreciated ;; and i hope the bad apples don’t manage to push you away from something that you love.

Anonymous said:The people who say you’ve been mean and rude can go fuck themselves tbh - you’ve are soft and cute and so sweet you don’t deserve this shit

Anonymous said:I will be sad but understanding if you decide to delete. I came to this blog for bts, stayed for you, and now I check your blog everyday. You could just reblog pictures of walls and I’d still have notifications on and get hype every time you post. Your posts regarding school and stress comfort me and your bangtan posts distract me from my own stress from school. I appreciate you and this blog so much- thank you for putting up with bullshit messages and negativity for so long. 

mxbebes said:been following you for a while now and i would say i’d miss you on my dash a lot of u left ♥ if that’s the choice you need/want to make i support you but if it’s over uncertainty about posting what you want all i can offer is the advice to screw anyone who tries to dictate what you want to put on /your/ blog maybe turn of asks/anons for a while if it gets to much or get into the habit of blocking the assbags who seem entitled to tell u what to post ♥ anyway ily a lot u would be missed if u left

Anonymous said:Hey I love your blog but if you think deactivating would put you in a better mental state then maybe that’s what’s more important. But I hope you know that you’re an amazing person who’s blog has done some good. I always glossed over Namjoon until I saw you and your posts. Now he’s one of my favorites. I’m sorry anons have affected your enjoyment on here. Just know you’ve got followers who care about how you feel, whether that means you leaving or not.

baepsaeling said:i haven’t been following you for very long but honestly the amount of shit you’re getting is ridiculous. but since you say Tumblr is your getaway place - maybe throw this blog on hiatus and start a smaller blog for the time? in either case, please don’t be afraid to give yourself a break. we all need one, occasionally. i hope stuff is gonna clear up and you’ll feel better soon! 💖

Anonymous said:hello please stay strong you’re my fav namjoon stan. if you really cant take it, take a break for a little bit and come back for us please? We love you

bukedo said:Hello~ I’d like to say that i’ve only started following you recently and up to this point i haven’t regretted anything of it, as a blog for Namjoonie you have been one of the best and i understand why you are upset/mad and tbh i would be too … I always look everything up before i ask around and only ask when i don’t find any answers. All the things about Namjoonie are very easy to find and people shouldn’t keep bothering you 💜 (Stay perfect ! 💜💜)

Anonymous said:You’re super amazing, your blog is super amazing and tbh all the salty haters just need to go get lives… I mean at what point do you think its ok to harass someone on tumblr… I mean, it’s tumblr… If you’re going to be a lil bish at least get of anon and have the guts to say it to someones face.

lunalilymoon said:i’m so so sorry i love you and your blog and namjoon but do what is best for you ❤

gogomaki said:Hon… please stay strong! I love you! ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ♡

Anonymous said:I don’t know what has happened and I don’t need too. I’m sorry for whatever has happened and I believe you deserve a break… ❤❤

Anonymous said:@ the people who are always buggin you for updates or askin what namjoon did: there is this lovely site called google where you can get most if not all the answers ur lookin for plus there are like 3456658 different update blogs that would probably love to take ur questions. shocking i know. also if some of yall hate namjoon so much what tf are you doin on an obvious namjoon stan blog talking shit like are you stupid?? and sab can be as sassy as she wants shes a fucking human with emotions okay!

Anonymous said:i want u to feel better, but i know nothing i say can. just… always try to look on the bright side of things, okay? as corny as that i

Anonymous said:Delete your blog then. I never saw you as someone holding every action Namjoon did I saw you as an actual human being. A human being who breaks down who stresses out who gets angry. Who has EMOTIONS. I’m sending this and I’m not going to sugar coat shit and tell you it gets better. Because nothing ever does unless you work through it. If you delete your account, don’t do it then regret it. Im sending this in as anon cause you may not answer but I’m not going to give you a sugarcoated response

hoshyoung said:Please remember that your own mental amd physical health is more important than running this blog. I know lots of people will support whatever decision you make, including myself. We just want you to be happy and healthy No matter what, I wish you all the happiness in the world!! 💕💕💕💕💕 (I’m sorry for all of the people who are being selfish and rude, you deseve so much more than that)

Anonymous said:hi bae~ i literally just got online and was ??? omg why is my ult namjoon blog stressing??? so i read what you said and i feel so sorry for you :((( i can’t imagine getting so many asks about someone you stan, especially negative asks. i get so exhausted just reading someone being nasty / bringing up joon’s past, so i can’t imagine how tired and frustrated you must be to have all that in your askbox. i just wanted to drop in to say that i love you very much!!! [ 1/2 

Anonymous said:I’m so sorry. I used to be one of your old anons that checked on you and also talked to you a lot, but I guess I haven’t been doing a good job of that lately. I’m sorry. I should’ve gotten off of my lazy ass and come check on you, because you’re very important to me. I think you’re absolutely amazing, and you’re so kind and nice to everyone. I hate that you feel this way, I know how hard you’ve worked. But if you decide to stay, I promise to start writing you cute messages again. I love you ❤❤

Anonymous said:Sab I’m sorry you have to go through with this negativity! I love your blog and love you personality! And i don’t know if this will lighten your mood even just a tad but I have a random question for you: who do you Stan more Ryan or Kumamon?

Anonymous said:I’m sorry you’re not having a great time on Tumblr as of late for a variety of factors and that people are belittling your comments down to a sentence. Just wanted to say hi, and send you my well wishes. I love seeing you on my dash, both kpop related content and otherwise. It’s nice seeing the blogger behind the blog. Also, you have a superb playlist. I hope your crazy school project does well, despite that I know you’re not thrilled about being part of the whole thing. #Sabjoon2k17

thornyrosebush3 said:I know I’ve never messaged you before (anxiety) but I just wanted to let you know that whatever decision you make will be okay. If you do delete your blog to make the pressure and stress go away, that is okay. I’m not here to tell you ‘not to delete your blog, everything will be okay’ because I want you to feel comfortable no matter what decision you make. -M.

Anonymous said:I really would like to get to know you more and chat with you because I honestly think you are such a wonderful person. But I feel like I would be imposing on you by chatting with you like a friend I feel as if it would be rude because it’s almost like being overcomfortable? But I love your blog and would love to get know you ☺️

Anonymous said:Project start flooding your asks with nice things so that you don’t have to read all that sh*t is a go . :)

bangtan-world said:I love a human being, and that human being is called Sabrina.❤

Anonymous said:I give you so much props for the amount of patience you have and I’m sorry that you have to deal with annoying/rude anons :( anyone that sends you hate can come and fight me! Pls keep being an amazing ❤️

Anonymous said:I’m sorry for all the things your going through. If I could do something I would. Here a change from all the things your getting. How are you? Hope you have a good night/day.

Anonymous said:Are you going to start a new account? Because like you said it wouldn’t be fair for you to have to start over because of hate. But I really love your blog and I understand and really hope that your okay.

hobismole said:😩 your selfie killed me why are you so freaking beautiful?? Also I’m sorry that people are treating you like this you deserve so much better! Don’t worry too much about what other people think and do whatever decision you feel is right for and your blog 💞

Anonymous said:hellooooo, just dropping by to say that i appreciate you & your blog very much! im new to BTS and your blog is among the first few ones that i followed. :) dont let the haters get you down, there’s plenty of us here who like & appreciate you! \o/

Anonymous said:I think you should just turn off anon asks so if people want to really know the answer to their shitty questions they have to be willing to have their identity known (and I know that me being on anon writing this is ironic 😂)

Anonymous said:I’ve just come back from a tumblr hiatus to see you sad and!! No!! I’m so sorry people are not treating you and your blog how they should and it’s pushed you to feel like wanting to delete. I hope you know you’ll be missed but if you feel it’s what you have to do we understand!! Stay strong like we know you can and do what you feel is best!!

Anonymous said:What’s your favourite nose shape? Mines the ones that look kinda too long but are turned up at the end and are really cute. Hope you can get over the negativity

Anonymous said:Your own mental health and comfort is important too. while i can’t give any concrete solutions for you, at least know that there is this anon who supports your decision either way. stay healthy and safe 'kay?

Anonymous said:we’ll miss you darling. please be safe and do what is healthy for you because that is the most important thing! i’m sure you’ll get many more nice messages before you go besides this one but if not i’ll keep sending these until you feel better! if you want to come back we’re always here. much love, a quiet anon who loves seeing you on their dash ❤️

Anonymous said:I’m sorry your blog is surrounded by so much negativity. In an attempt to at least make you smile, or get to know you, what kind of things do you like? Movies, tv shows, Kpop groups, artists? I’d be more than happy to ask you things about yourself 💕

i-am-wordaholic said:Do what u have to do sweety. Don’t hand over ur peace of mind for anyone. If that means closing the acc then… that sucks but it’ll have to be. You wouldn’t want Namjoonie to keep doing smth that makes him unhappy cuz he feels he owes it to ppl, right? So, don’t do it to urself either. Fighting!!!

reprobateravenclaw said:Oh. My. God. Wtf? Like I get it's nice to be nice and stuff, but honestly, you don't have to be. You can just tell someone to fuck off when you don't wanna discuss smth. You don't hold any sort of responsible behaviour to anyone. Yeah sure, be nice and all, but slam them to the pits of hell if you wanna/need to. Just saying. Take it easy. Being mean isn't always bad when it comes to you. Like, if you're someone who cares about what people say to you,its essential to know when to be a bitch.

Anonymous said:hey :) i saw all those posts you just made, honestly i have no idea what happened to you but don't give up on tumblr if it's the thing that made you happy once (if this makes sense...) there's still a lot of us that appreciate everything you do! ily x

Anonymous said:hi! i've never sent any asks before so i Hope This Is Okay but i saw what was going on and i'm so sorry that that's been happening to you. that sounds Ultra Mega Shitty and :( if you want to delete/deactivate i wont stop u if u think its the right thing for u b/c ur happiness + health are the Most Important !! i just wanted to tell u that i love ur blog lots and lots!! you're one of the first bts blogs i ever followed :') thank u for blessing my dash and being a Gr8 :') i hope ur doing well!! :)

Anonymous said:I just saw you're going through all this shit. I have followed you for awhile and I'm like so invested in your life in a weird way? It's hard to explain. I just want you to be able to breathe a little and not feel so overwhelmed. I know how life can make you feel like you're barely keeping your head above water. I hope you get some rest and are able to just chill a little from all this. Love you!!

thank you guys so much, I genuinely want to thank you all of such kind things. tomorrow is a new day, we’ll put all this in the past and look forward to better days. 

I care about you all so much and hope you have a fantastic bright day, thank you so much again I wish I could hug you all for sending me such nice things it means more than I think you could ever understand. I love you, you guys are the reason I come on everyday hopeful and a full heart. 

again sorry  for everything, I just it’s been weighing heavy on me for the past two or so months and I sadly finally cracked and had to let it out.