#i only did maybe 2 takes LMAO
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!!! VAGUE SUCKENING FINALE SPOILERS !!! My Edward Twilight Impression.
I think this is my best shitpost yet. Enjoy.
#the suckening#jrwi#jrwi the suckening#just roll with it#jrwi fanart#jrwi suckening#shilo bathory#prince shilo#jrwi shilo#shilo jrwi#stay tuned for a little somethin somethin at the end :3c#i did make this video in like an hour so excuse the roughness#i only did maybe 2 takes LMAO#edward twilight#jrwi edward twilight#bub's sillies
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I know I'm a professional hater but watching a playthrough of silly hill 2 remake and there's something about it that is so...blah to me
#chatty!#also they cut this town is full of monsters line so objectively worst game ever made#a call back snide james comment isnt good enough not with his gruff action man voice i just can Not be bothered#maybe it is the looming Action Man presence i am hating actually. LMAO#i think the ''redesigns'' (lbr theyre barely altered) look fine i think its very funny u can break windows#some of the dialogue is leaving me like :/ bro they fucked up ANYWAY WHAT DO YOU MEAN ANYWAY#granted i sought it out specifically so only heard that not the rest of that bit but it really did not hit the same#and that part is so so iconic to me. literally what do you mean ''anyway''#but anyway. LOL#it took 2 hours to get to the apartments bc first u had to fix a jukebox. and the whole time im like#literally what is this what is happening. thats my take
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for the ask game: LILAC CHARCOAL AND RASPBERRY
anon this is so sweet 😭
[ask game provided below for reference; if you'd like to play, please reblog from OP here:]
#anon i love this but i have a covenant with God so i can't kill Him with you#this reminds me of the time my brother lamented his atheism and my agnosticism on behalf of our religious mother. but i'm not agnostic.#so i clarified i believe in God and that's never changed. i just choose not to worship Him + I think there are multiple truths (incl. gods)#which is shorthand but I've never been able to explain it to others to their satisfaction and it isn't anyone else's business anyway#he thought that was MUCH worse and became so dramatic. he was genuinely so thrown. he fixated on the fact it's heresy.#which I didn't expect because like yes it's heresy but heresy is a doctrinal concept -- it doesn't have any intrinsic meaning.#and not to be dismissive but doctrine is fairly sequestered from God. It's functionally and historically a voidable social contract.#i was involved with the church/attended various bible retreats for several years before leaving. but I didn't leave over God lmao.#my institutional involvement was always contingent on its alignment with my own individual purpose/practice/rituals/bible study/covenant.#which church/community leadership knew and tried to triage in various ways but like. it's not hard to reject authority baselessly derived.#so my present relationship with God isn't any more heretical than it was when I practiced Christianity as a religion.#If anything I was maybe more heretical in funnier and more flagrant ways when I was practicing than I am now.#but anyway. my point is.#i wont help you kill god but I'm always here for heresy.#alternatively i also recommend either (1) listening to god is dead (meet the kids) by british india#which when engaged with meaningfully amounts to the same philosophical state of being as killing God#or (2) forming a reverse orphic mystery cult relationship with Him the way I did when from ages 10-14#in other words#we can either sacrifice God to the secular age like thomas jefferson and nietzsche#or we can obsessively study the bible @ the cost of enough sleep that we (in brief spurts) access the parts of us inclined towards prophecy#those are the only two approaches to god that I'm capable of partaking in with any sincerity or intellectual honesty#and I'm unfortunately very married to sincerity and intellectual honesty.#(i'm sorry for meeting your very nice compliments with a nonsequitur illustrating why i should live as a hermit in a remote woodland shack)#(but I suppose I'm not sorry enough to remove the nonsequitur from my response prior to publication. so. take from that what you will.)
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Hey anon, I'm so sorry but your ask is obscenely long so I'm cutting it down to bare essentials
Most of the Original Ask was just a copypaste of this forum post, quickly highlighting this comment too
LOOK WHAT IT SAYS ABOUT MORIA, YO! "Defeated by Gellard and returns in the Final Scenario with an even more grotesque appearance than when you first met him."
But yes, I am aware, I have read that exact same thread before (when I first learned about the Romancing SaGa inspo on r/OnePiece and wanted to learn more), and I did briefly discuss the Seven Heroes when speculating about Cross Guild and wherever the fuck that plotline is going
And I'm now going to add onto that original post, because boy howdy do I have some additional thoughts to get out of my brain
Okay so yes, Doflamingo would be the OG Iteration of Bokuohn, the puppeteer who manipulates people. But in the context of Cross Guild... That's Buggy. "Bokuohn is in control of the majority of the Seven Heroes' forces. Situated in the Steppes region, he owns a large landship, complete with an innumerable amount of slaves." That's literally just Buggy. Like he's not a master of psychological manipulation nor can he forcefully manipulate anybody like literal puppets either (the way Mingo could), but. Like scratch out he RoSa2 terms, replace them with the relevant OP terms and it's a perfect description of Buggy.
Bringing that up because I'm still interested in Cross Guild becoming Shichibukai 2.0 But Without The Government This Time, but if we wanted to have exactly seven former Shichibukai to make up Cross Guild and make sure we had like ones who could actually fill out the roles of the Seven Heroes from RoSa2... Yeah there's going to have to be some replacements Not just because otherwise Doflamingo would need to be broken out of Impel Down somehow (which I doubt will happen, also I don't think Crocodile would want him working for him anyways), but also. Jinbei's with the Strawhats. And I don't think he's ditching Luffy any time soon for Crocodile of all people, not when he finally fucking joined the Strawhats for realsies.
So Doflamingo could be replaced with Buggy, cool, sure. What about Jinbei then? Who will take up the role of RoSa2's Subier?
So a while back I wrote this speculation post about if the Burn Scar Man (who has the final Road Poneglyph) could be a Fishman.(PERHAPS specifically Davy Jones?) Bringing that up because during Kuma's flashback we did learn that Kuma got the Shichibukai Slot after Ace defeated one of the seven at the time. And we specifically got to see Ace talk to Jinbei about it, Ace being surprised Jinbei of all people was glad the Shichibukai slot was being filled again. Now obviously, our Firefist Ace defeating a Shichibukai makes for one great candidate on who the Burn Scar Man could be, as Ace could very easily leave someone with some severe burn scars. This is platantly obvious lmao. But it's the conversation with Jinbei that actually interests me, because like. Sure, Jinbei being a fellow Shichibukai, it might be odd for Ace to hear Jinbei be glad that one of his fellow Warlords is being replaced. But that comment could make twice as much sense if that Warlord had ALSO been a fellow Fishman and/or a Merman (and perhaps someone Jinbei might've known better?). Now indeed. We are going to meet the Burn Scar Man eventually, 100%, it's mandatory for the plot to move forwards. Which means we're going to find out who that guy is, and if the Road Poneglyph gets stolen from him, he might have to find something else to do with his life since there won't be any point in guarding it anymore. And hey. If Mr Burns does turn out to be a fellow former Shichibukai who also happens to be a Fishman/Merman and a master of Fishman Karate... Oh hey, what's this? "Subier - A half octopus merman who controls the flow of the ocean to use as a weapon." Like. IDK I think we could have another Cross Guild member on our hands here.
(Honestly, currently the only problem we have is Dantarg, whose role currently being held by Kuma. Like the only other known Shichibukai we have who could be "available" is Law but he hasn't really done any "bodymods to become stronger" and thus doesn't fit the description. Hell, that description fits Kid more than anything but he was never a Shichibukai either. Guess we gotta keep on hoping Kuma somehow survives and just doesn't return to the Revolutionary Army for some reason)
Hilariously the most interesting thing you pointed out was that comment in the forum thread about Moria, 'cause I hadn't even realized this before but
So we know Blackbeard had captured Moria and held him hostage for... weeks, months? Until he was freed by Coby as per Perona's plea during the raid on Fullalead. Interestingly though, although theoretically we know Moria and Perona should have escaped the island by now, we have not seen either, now have we? Which is kind of suspicious now that I think about it. Because like. It'd make perfect sense if Blackbeard and co had been torturing Moria during his time in captivity, right. Have they been feeding my beloved goth onion well? Realistically, probably not?
Like. Thinking about it. We know Moria got chumby after the trauma of losing his crew and all, so what are the odds he might have lost that weight now during his captivity??? What if he looks more like his younger self again, the one see clash with Kaidou??? Or, the more horrifying option. I mean zombies aren't like an inherent part of Moria's DF abilities, just the Shadow Manipulation. But for all we know Moria could have lost a limb or two, and depending on where the fuck Hogback is (dude is supposed to be a competent doctor, he should be able to stitch Moria back up)... I mean theoretically the next time we see Moria he could look like one of his zombies. Or worse.
#Moon posting#Asks#OP Meta#OP Spoilers#Cross Guild#Long post#For the record I was a Moria Stan for well over a decade before becoming a Crocodile Simp#Gecko Moria My Beloved. We stan a Goth Onion#Sidenote when I speculated about how Hancock might interact with Crocodile I did joke in the tags of that post#About how funny it would be if she some fucking how fell in love with Crocodile. Because the mental image of that is funny as hell to me#AND HEY LOOK AT WHAT THE ROMANCING SAGA 2 LORE COULD BE SUGGESTING HERE LMAOOO#Hancock is allowed to enter her Old Man Enjoying Era. As a treat. GOOD FOR HER ((Croc isn't even old he isn't even 50 yet lmao))#I'm so sorry anon if you wanted me to discuss Crocodile more in this post because like. There isn't that much to discuss#Like I've discussed the important stuff in the past and I'm really interested in the Cross Guild side of things with this#Because that plot thread is driving me up the walls and RoSa2 might be the only thing that can suggest where the fuck it's going#MAYBE#So I just wanted to take this opportunity to speculate more about Cross Guild than rediscuss the CrocoLore#But yes Crocodile being trans is super duper confirmed by RoSa2 and that is so very sexy of him
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what should be my real housewives of beverly hills replacement once i catch up? keep in mind that this is to fill a reality tv specific hole in me and i watch that show bc i love Mess !!
#silver jelly#going back and forth and back and forth lmao bc like#new york was orginally definitely my next but it has 13 seasons and that feels like A Commitment after 12 seasons of rhobh#potomac only has 7 and it has the bonus of being in maryland and that's really fun for me#i'm open to rh shows taking place anywhere else but if it's not one of those 2 i'm leaning toward something 8 seasons or less#ideally 5 or less tbh unless the drama is REALLY REALLY good.#also for people wondering i'm almost done with s9 and lisa rinna is my FAVE rn but eileen davidson & adrienne maloof are my all-time#faves. erica would be up there but acab. hatedddd brandi but i thought the season with carlton was particularly juicy.#let's see; rhobh did a vanderpump rules 'crossover' event for the brandi/scheana confrontation and to be totally honest i did not enjoy it#but i'm willing to give it another chance if it's good. i don't know anyone irl who watches this stuff lmao#so i've got like no point of reference.#i was super obsessed with project runway growing up and did a partial rewatch like 5 years back#and i still absolutely lovedddddddd it despite not being fond of michael kors or nina garcia#js and ultimatum are explanatory; i'm here for The Drama tbh#it's maybe fucked up but shows about other people's interpersonal conflicts are really good escapism for me#it's why i was so into succ lmao#i need like A Problem To Solve even when i'm in rest mode plus it's really inspirational for writing effective conflicts/misunderstandings#(these are very scorpio sun/gemini rising things to say ooooops)#anyway vote away even if you've never seen any of these !!! i also love controlled chaos !!!!
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trying to decide if i should go ahead and read the sun and the star now despite not having read the last two trials of apollo books or to just go ahead
#the only stuff ive seen about it is from 2 pjo blogs i follow and listen. love them great posts but also#they do tend to always skew negatively and i love them for it but i also am taking with a grain of salt#bc some of the shit that bothers them i dont really care about lol#again love their blogs thats why i follow but#anyways from what ive seen and i ahvent seen any actual spoilers#but i have seen the fact tah apparently rick disregards the plot of the toa books#which idk if im mad at bc i havent finished them lmao#also something doesnt follow a canon detail but its rick riordan that man does that so many times#also tumblr people despise solangelo and that is their right#im more neutral on them but like i like the potential of them#they just werent developed enough and thats what they use as an excuse but in like a mean way skadaj#anyways all this to say. idk if reading the last two toa books are important#i did read the Big One (burning maze ifykyk) so i wouldnt be spoiled there#i know piper gets a nameless girlfriend in the end that we dont even properly meet at the end of the series#which so true sapphic piper is so real but also thats not proper rep babe#the two lesbians that house leo (and calypso? i cant remember) are better rep#give piper her own book pls#...maybe write it with an indigenous person tho bc uh. we dont want a hoo repeat#IM RAMBLING ABOUT PERCY JACKSON ON MY SIMS BLOG IM SORRY#I JUST HAVE THOUGHTS#i placed a hold on the order on the book at my library and im 23rd in lines#so maybe ill get the last two toa books and read them in the meantime idk#ivy rambles
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ok. im genuinely ready to kill someone. you know when ur parent is like why dont you ever take initiative why do we have to tell you everything first EXCEPT literally growing up every time you did something of your own volition you Thought was right you would get chewed out because turns out it was wrong.
#LIKE WHAT. DID. YOU. FUCKING. EXPECT#AND WHAT DO I GET IF I SNAP ABOUT IT. NOTHING.#like no its not 'obvious' and im going to fucking kill you.#growing up i was like oh im an idiot i wont do anything ill get it wrong and then#STILL getting chewed out becos of not taking initiative so now im ungrateful and selfish too????#r u fucking kidding me??????#now im like ok i may be an idiot but you are a moron and have always been shit parents#the kind that like seem to expect kids to be able to do certain things or think a certain way#like. out of the fucking womb without being taught it. they dont know how kids work.#so whenever they also talk about how having kids is soooo meaningful and sooo important#its like ok but could u be good at it like could u actually learn to be good about it at least. could u not ruin a human beings life#IM BRINGING THIS UP BECOS FOR SOME REASON MY DAD IS ON ABOUT IT TODAY#LIKE MAYBE U SHOULD HAVE RAISED UR FUCKING KIDS BETTER!!!! AT LEAST 2 OF THEM CANT STAND YOU#ONE MOVED OUT TO GET AWAY FROM U AN THE ONLY REASON I HAVENT IS COS IVE HAD#TOO MANY PROBLEMS LMAO BUT HEY MAYBE SOON. JURY OUT ON THE THIRD
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officially going to be taking a standup comedy class next semester!!! now my schedule is literally:
improv class
sociology class about queer history
standup class
buddy cole documentary which counts as a class despite only meeting with the professor when i want to and being a project i would work on even if i didn't get college credit
god i love majoring in comedy in college
#i realized my science credit was already taken care of by a dual enrollment class i did in high school so that gave me an opening#and i already have a plan to take care of all the other general education stuff later so i might as well load up on comedy courses#unfortunately due to some bullshit that's not as interesting as i think it is a lot of the comedy classes aren't running this fall#so the only one at my level with open seats is standup#and y'know typically i do NOT enjoy performing standup. i love watching standup very much but performing it's not for me#(plus ik my nemesis is in that class and she's also in my 2 other real classes so ugh i'm gonna be seeing a lot of her)#HOWEVER. i've already taken a course with this professor and he likes me#he's a kith fan so if i have to miss class or get an extension bc of work on the buddy cole doc he'll probably be super understanding#and!!! most importantly!!! he's really into character standup which not a lot of students choose to do#but for me. this gives me a perfect opportunity to actually work on some of my aubrey material as a ''standup character''#or at the very least shoehorn buddy cole into discussions lmao#also. my improv class is right before this one and improv is probably the type of comedy i'm most confident in#so maybe that will give me a nice push to get more confident in standup#and as for the ''constantly having to be around my nemesis'' thing. well i can hope that she manages to chill out by then#but even if she is insufferable. i can take solace in being the one with kith connections and paul will almost definitely let me rant to hi
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writing this fic makes me want to shake something so badly (positive)
#i have to stop now my eyes dont work anymore but got like 1.5k words together tonight#we are 5.6k total and only now actually introduced chuck into this situation physically lmao#maybe i can finish part 2 tomorrow. i have a few things on my to do list so we'll see how long doing those take#but yeah. its progressing at least woo#im gonna reblog the poll about publishing these chapters before i go to bed but yay i did something today#i just feels very nice to write again#night is an absolute mess on main
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since ppl seem 2 b talking abt the shift in feel in hermitcraft/life (+adjacent/one-off collab vids) recently can i finally get off my chest tht the recent (within last yr or 2) uptick in 'sus moments' n suggestive comments (n yaoi/shipbaiting, w some, as it n suggestive comments can n often do go hand in hand. but. w/e. also can i use the word 'fanservice' for any of these things. feels almost appropriate here.) feels kinda/moreso for attention n clips (like all of those '___ out of context' compilation vids n clips ppl make on twt/tiktok/tumblr/etc) tbh/than in the past bc they (or at least Some) kno tht the fandom goes wild when they do it n thus it gives them more attention n views n stuff. (note: this isnt All the time not Everything feels this way, esp w ppl who r prone 2 them or hav a more lax channel overall etc etc, but it feels like it sometimes n it makes me cringe. or mayb its jus me reading 2 much in2 things bc i find awkwardness in a lot of things n whatnot. mayb im jus odd.)
#i kno its partially tht of course anybody whos family friendly will want 2 take any moment 2 deviate from it n since this season seems so#lax theyre jus like 'cool we finally hav the opportunity 2 b more silly! >:3c' but a lot of it also jus seems like. odd.#like having an occasional but natural kinda suggestive comment n ur like '!! oh lmao' bc its a rar!ty is like a Treat but when its all the#time n feels more like a wink wink nudge nudge look guys he said the thing he said smth dirty !! it loses the natural feeling it once did.#(n when it comes 2 ship/yaoibaiting n not jus the 'sus' moments... a true shipper will b able 2 find moments in the natural n mundane n in#comradery between players. so when theres a lot of moments tht seem forced it can actually Sour the experience. but mayb thts jus me)#dont take this as me being a stickler or 'i miss OLD DAYS of herm!tcraft' as im not some1 whos been watching them 4 more than like 2-3 yrs#n i only watch some of them so obv this doesnt apply 2 every1. but idk. sometimes scar n some ppl make me cringe a bit. a lil.#sometimes some ship pandering moments i dont mind tho even in forced. like often w tr33bark but ren is also jus so genuine all the time#n affectionate w quite some ppl. so.#delete later
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so many renata thoughts, and yet too little coherence to describe them
#why is my renachrome lore so detailed lmao i haven't even played this game....i have no idea what the story of this game is i just have. um#4 to 5 favorite morons and a group chat. and this one extra guy but we don't talk about him#ive only known chrome for like. maybe over a month 😭 what crack did i take to make all of this#ari.stuffs#s/i: arion renata#lowkey i mostly want to post more about arc 1 because the knowledge of them being ripped apart in arc 2 makes their friendship better. to me
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#wait rf3 intro is so good??#2 cute girls who have like opposite personalities greet u#ur farm is right under ur bigass pretty tree house#U DONT HAVE TO BUY UR FRIDGE!! and they give u ur weapon OF CHOICE for FREE. for free!!#i dont rmr what happened in rf4 but in rf5. girl u get maybe the simple cooking table free and thats it no? i forgot that too LMAO#OKAY BUT ALSO ICB I ONLY GOT TO LEVEL 95ISH? and stopped????#i married. i thought i married raven for some reason?? i think i just really liked her in rf4 bc she was a lovely chara in 3 but anyw.#wAIT QAIT WAIT WDYM MORE MONSTERS SHOWED UP AND BATTLE DIFFICULTY WENT TO HARD BC I SAID IT WAS EASY?!?!#THIS GAME IS SO FUCKING FUNNY FUXK YOY 😭😭 fuck it ill take it!!!! 😭😭#anyw shara is so cute 🥺 what a lovely guide icb i didnt marry her in the end im??? sorry to the other girls but shes so adorable omg???#i married the other girl.. sofia?? she was cute too but like.. idk ill have to see how she acts again aksjakd#i genuinely dont rmr the guys. u cant date the guys bc the mc is male only and they didnt want mlm at the time idk. ill look 🤔#44597#nvm idk if i like this handling and not having all the useful stuff from rf5 uhhhhhhhhhhh#OH SOFIAS ONE OF THE PEOPLE WHO SAYS THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT SHE MEANS ASKSJK#younger me... why did u do this to urself omg LMAOO#i cant rmr but she has weird taste in gift items too iirc!!!! what was younger me cooking!!?!?#..?? DOES MARIAN HAVE THAT REALLY HIGH LV SPEAR-STAFF WEAPON FROM RF5? HELLO??
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my perception of grades totally changed since i started uni
#in school i just did the bare minimum a pass was fine and a 3 great#it's insane to think about it how little i did like for a lot of subjects not at all and if i did i'd study like 2 hrs the day before 😭#and i thought this was studying hard or if i studied 3 hrs at least whaaat#well for some subjects i did a bit more#but like it is no comparrison#at uni i also did study the day before a few times but then i did an 8hr session#(i might just need to do that tmrw but the thing is the exam is one you can't study for so literary idk what i'd study so long for??)#(or how to study... it's translation but how tf do you study translation it's highly subjective and there are no practice exercises)#(i will probably just look at the notes)#but anyway for my last exam i spent 5 hrs in the library a day and i already started 2 weeks before (altough just in smaller bits)#but bumped it up exam week i did like 2-3hrs on average a day#even if i start too late like i did for one of the hardest test of my studies i only studied for 2 days but like all day or 10hrs sth a day#it by far exceeds the 2hrs lmao and even that was very little for this exam many studied 2 weeks but like i got a good grade so it's okay#but my point is now that i get better grades good one's a C is a massive disappointment for me 😅#unless it was a really difficult one then i'd take it but like it upsets me#a teacher once told me when i got a c on an exam quite a few failed that many would be happy to have that grade well true tbh but i can't#and once i almost cried because i got a C because i thought it was an easy course but it was an oral exam and i'm worse in these#(because in written i often remember the answer later in the exam and then go back but in oral i can't do that)#well that was embarrassing😭 i'm trying to never do that again so if i get asked how i feel abt it say it's okay ig#but sometimes even a B is meh �� especially if an A was possible and it was an easy course/exam#i want more A's less B's tbh B's also because i really want to go abroad and raise my grade average for that#i want to go from a B average to an A something average to improve my chances#but yeah younger me wouldn't believe this 😂#i really want to study harder to make that step up to more A's than B's like uni does come quite easy to me#and while i study way more compared to others i still get away with less effort and good results but i could have excellent grades#on the one hand it's good that i improved so much on the other those expectations might not be because i'm almost never satisfied anymore 😅#and i know it's kind of really unimportant because there are real problems and also many uni students struggle to pass their classes#it's maybe even a bit disrespectful because they'd be happy to have these grades and i should be more grateful#but i swear i don't look down on anyone with worse grades i know how difficult it can be and also how outside factors play a role#some have it more difficult some have to work a lot next to uni or really suffer from mental illness besides no one's brain is the same
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part 2 of baker!reader + do not ever ask me to write accents lmao i suck at those 💀😭 and a huge thank you to all the sweet and dessert suggestions! i couldn't add all of them, but oh my god did i love all of them and choosing between them was sooo hard (that's what she said). if your dessert didn't make it here im soo sorry 😭
It was a quiet morning when you finally decided to reopen the bakery. The town had been whispering, speculating about the sudden disappearance of your husband—tragic, they said, to be found mauled by a bear in the woods. You hadn’t shed a tear, hadn’t flinched at the news. Maybe that was cruel of you, but after what you had endured, you couldn’t bring yourself to feel anything for him anymore. Not fear, not sadness—just relief.
And now, with the bakery open once again, you felt lighter. Freer.
The 141 boys were there first thing, as you had hoped. Each one walking into the cozy space like they belonged there. Their heavy, winter boots made the wooden floors creak, their towering frames somehow making the space feel intimate rather than intimidating. You smiled as the familiar smell of fresh bread and sugar lingered in the air, the warmth of the ovens cocooning you and the rest of the bakery in comfort. Free from that terrible man you’d called a husband, it was as if the world itself was taking on a more vibrant color.
“Morning, sweetheart,” John greeted you, his eyes crinkling beneath his hat, though there was something watchful in his gaze.
“Bonnie,” Johnny chirped, leaning on the counter, his eyes sparkling as they usually did when he spoke to you. “Place smells heavenly as always.”
“You’re open today, huh?” Kyle said, grinning as he eyed the display of pastries lined up neatly behind the glass. “Missed our favorite baker, honestly.”
Simon didn’t say anything at first, just gave you a long, steady look from behind his mask. You knew he had seen the signs. He was the only one who had seen the bruises, had taken your hands so gently that day and whispered that promise. You hadn’t asked for it, hadn’t said anything in return, but you had trusted him all the same. You are glad you did. You are so glad it’d been him to see.
Now, as you wiped your hands on your apron and stepped out from behind the counter, your heart was lighter than it had been in months. “Everything’s on the house today,” you said, your smile wider than it had been in ages. “For you guys, at least. After all… I’ve got a few new things for you to try.”
Soap raised an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at his lips. “Is that so? Then we’re in for a treat, eh boys?”
You went back to the counter, pulling out a few trays and plates, your hands moving quickly as you started setting them down in front of the men, watching their eyes light up at the spread. “I’ve been experimenting,” you said, your voice light, almost teasing. “For John, I’ve got pecan pie. Thought you might like it—something a bit rich, a bit warm.” Like you, goes unsaid but you hoped he still heard it.
John’s eyes gleamed as he accepted the slice you placed in front of him. “Always knew you were a mind reader,” he murmured with a chuckle, cutting into the pie and taking a bite. The smile that spread across his face was slow, but appreciative.
“For you, Kyle, lemon meringue tarts. Something sharp, refreshing. A little tangy,” you said, setting the plate in front of him. “And a bit sweet, too. Had a feeling you’d like it!”
Kyle laughed, picking up the tart and admiring it at first. “You know me too well.” He took a bite, his eyes widening at the burst of lemon on his tongue and then groaning in delight. “Perfect, as always.”
Simon watched you closely, and when you placed a plate of apple fritters in front of him, his gaze softened just slightly. “Made these with you in mind,” you said, your voice gentle. “Thought you’d appreciate something classic, Si. Simple, but comforting.”
He didn’t say anything at first, just nodded in that way of his, taking the fritter in his gloved hand. When he took a bite, his eyes closed briefly, and you could see the silent approval in the way his shoulders seemed to relax ever so slightly.
“And for you, Johnny,” you giggled, setting down a small bowl of Cranachan in front of him. “Thought you might like something traditional- whisky, raspberries, oats, and cream. Feels like a bit of home, doesn’t it? At least I hope so. It was my first time making it.”
Johnny beamed all the same, eagerly reaching for a spoon. “Ah, bonnie, you’re spoiling us.”
But it wasn’t just them you were thinking of. You had made a fresh batch of focaccia bread for yourself, but this wasn’t just any bread- it was bold, spiced with rosemary and topped with chilli flakes and garlic. It was a reflection of your own newfound boldness. You’d been quiet, subdued for so long. Now, you wanted to feel alive again.Perhaps it might seem corny, but this focaccia bread meant to signify that for you.
You set a slice of the focaccia on a plate for yourself, taking a bite as you sat with them, your smile not faltering for a second. It was savoury- settling warmth in your stomach. “I think this might be my new favorite, actually.” you said with a soft laugh. In your mind, you were already thinking of making and selling more of it.
They didn’t say much in response, still tasting their own desserts, but you could feel their appreciation, their understanding, in the quiet way they accepted it.
The rest of the bakery was alive with the smell of freshly baked treats: rich brownies, soft sugar cookies, fluffy cronuts, and delicate eclairs. Tres leches cakes sat next to pumpkin pies, while apple and custard empanadas filled the air with their sweet, warm scent. Cheesecakes, cardamom rolls, strawberry lamingtons—the selection was almost overwhelming, but everything sold well. Especially the bear claw pastries. You smiled softly to yourself at the irony. The bearclaw pastries might also be your new favorite, right alongside the focaccia.
Johnny noticed it immediately, the little twitch of your lips, and raised an eyebrow. “What’s so funny, bonnie?”
You waved him off, shaking your head. “Oh, nothing. Just… the bear claws. They’ve been selling really well lately. Thought it was… fitting.”
Simon’s eyes flicked to you, then to the bear claw pastries sitting neatly in a display case. A slow understanding crossed his gaze, but he didn’t say anything. Just a slight nod, the corner of his mouth twitching, the silent acknowledgment of the truth that you all shared. You had no doubt the others knew about it as well- maybe even had a hand in it. Such incredible men.
And for the first time, standing in your bakery, surrounded by warmth and the quiet camaraderie of the men you had come to trust, you felt a sense of peace wash over you. The past was behind you. Now, you had a future to look forward to—one filled with new beginnings, layers to unfold like a mille-feuille crepe cake, and the quiet reassurance that you were no longer alone.
“Here’s to new beginnings,” you said, raising your cup of coffee, your smile bright and genuine.
The boys raised their cups in return, their expressions soft but full of unspoken promises. “To new beginnings,” they echoed, and for the first time in a long time, you believed it. Especially because you could see the way they were looking at you.
masterpost
#cod#cod x reader#cod x you#poly!141 x reader#tf 141 x reader#tf 141 x you#john price x reader#soap x reader#cod imagines#tf 141#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#simon ghost x reader#simon riley x you#kyle gaz garrick#kyle gaz x reader#gaz x reader#call of duty x reader#poly!141#ending is so corny tho im so sorry#noona.writes
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I have to be up for work in 3 hours and I'm gonna be real I think ive hit the point where I might not be getting any sleep at all. for fucks sake.
#ive survived all nighters before ill scrape through the day itll just be Rough. at least i dont have much in my schedule#im not gonna take the dose this morning bc i think thats a really bad idea to do on zero hours sleep#and i can't risk two consecutive all nighters. like I have done that before but not while working full time 💀 its not worth it#drafting an email to my doctor to let her know im skipping day 2 + ask advice re. whether its worth resuming again on day 3#bc she did list 'trouble sleeping' as a common symptom that often passes but i need to know a) how long it usually takes to pass and-#b) if this is unusually bad + would she rec supplementing with a sleep aid or just switching tack entirely and trialling a non stimulant#by this stage of the night i dont think its actually acting anymore bc i took it at 7am and its now 3am. it shouldnt last that long#i think its more just triggered my preexisting insomnia. my ability to sleep is very very sensitive sometimes + hates routine changes#just so fucking frustrating bc ive spent the past 2 months nailing my sleep routine + ive had a couple weeks of being able to-#go to bed like 9:30-10 and it only takes an hour to get to sleep and i get usually a good 7 hours sometimes 8 only waking once halfway#and i dont feel like utter shit like yeah im tired but from work not so much lack of sleep.... and now thats all fucked lmao#whatever. maybe i should just take the next dose anyway#ill see. gonna try to sleep for another 2 hours but once it hits 5 im not doing this anymore ive been trying for six hours already man#i cant even remember when i last pulled a full all nighter. it might be longer than 6 months ago... i was doing so well :-(#im so mad i was so hopeful it would have SOME good effect like ik its not a miracle worker + these things take time but so many people-#seem to have an immediate positive response even if its probably a placebo. and i got fuck all except This.#i was searching on the reddit for sleep issues and other ppl only seem to report bad ones on higher doses or years in..#like damn. do i even have adhd then. ik thats a stupid thing to think bc obvs everyones body metabolises meds differently etc but still#it is ALMOST HALF 3 and i am FUCKING TIRED#UGH. alright bedtime round 189447383#.diaries#.vent
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all roads lead back to you | c.sc (scoups)
(where you take an annual cabin trip with your friends and your ex decides to join this year)
pairing: ex!seungcheol (scoups) x f!reader genre: exes to lovers | angst, smut rating: explicit - minors DNI word count: ~10.6k warnings: these are exes and the relationship ended badly, but we're healing, drinking, midnight kisses, reader is mentioned as wearing a skirt & tights, making out, seungcheol picks reader up, body worship, slight nipple play, fingering (f. receiving), oral sex (f. & m. receiving), choking, cheol has a big dick (i don't make the rules), unprotected sex (they talk about it, but don't do this), multiple orgasms & overstimulation (f. receiving), aftercare
a/n: this is for @k-vanity's 25 tips for surviving the holidays. day 11 - cabin vacation. i'm not really sure what happened, something about scoups just makes me blackout and write too much (i only started this 2 days ago). also shoutout to @tbzhub for saying we'd do this together lmao. thank you to @gyuwoncheol, @wonwussy, & @wooahaeproductions for helping me land on cheol for this fic. also, just for fun, tagging some scoups enjoyers because i'm nothing if not a menace: @ugh-yoongi, @seungkwansphd, @wongyuseokie, @beomcoups, @horanghater, @cheolism
The holidays are usually your favorite time of year. Sure, they’re really hectic and there’s always way too much to do without nearly enough time to do it. But, you still love it. Love being around friends and family. Love how everyone seems to acknowledge that any problems can wait for the new year. This is a time for joy and happiness. A time to celebrate all the wonderful things that did happen and leave the bad in the year you’re leaving behind.
This time of year also brings around an annual trip that you take with friends. A trip to a secluded cabin where you can all just disconnect. Where you can sit by the fireplace and read. Where you can go to the nearby resort to ski or snowboard. Where you can drink hot cocoa and swap stories and just enjoy the company without the bustle of the city. It’s one of your favorite weekends every time the holidays roll around.
Not this year.
This year, your friends decide that they want to make the group a little bigger and spend a long weekend, including New Year’s Eve, together. Which is great, you’re single and there’s nobody else you’d rather ring the New Year in with. Except for one problem. Your ex is also coming. It’s been a little over a year since you broke up, so you know it’s time to move on. Moving on feels a lot harder when he decides he’s going to come to the cabin weekend again this year. It shouldn’t really surprise you. After all, you were friends before you dated. Didn’t think anything could stop you from being friends after. Didn’t actually think there would be an after, if you’re honest. And you’re definitely not going to be the one to back out or admit you’re still not really over it.
So, that’s why you’re sitting in a car with Wonwoo, Jihoon, and Mimi, headed off to the cabins that your friends booked for an extended long weekend. You’re just thankful that Wonwoo offered you a spot in his car on the way up. Makes it a lot easier. Even if it means Jihoon and Mimi are currently in each other’s space in the backseat as she shows him something on her phone. It’s not that you mind how cute they are together, it’s just still weird to see Jihoon acting like that with anyone. She seems to have waltzed in and melted any defenses he had.
From his position in the driver’s seat, Wonwoo reaches over to squeeze your thigh. You look over at him, grateful for the reminder that you’re not alone in all of this. Grateful that he swore up and down to make sure you never felt awkward the whole weekend. Maybe it won’t be so bad, you think, as you queue up more songs for the drive. That’s the best part about being in the front seat. You get to control the music and Wonwoo started the trip by telling Jihoon and Mimi just to roll with it. Not that they’re paying all that much attention, but it was a nice thought all the same.
The drive up is uneventful. Wonwoo navigates the winding back roads with a practiced ease. You sigh happily, taking in all the trees dusted with snow and the winter wonderland all around as you leave most of your troubles behind. There’s something almost refreshing about being out here. Like the air is crisper and everything is stiller. Wonwoo would make a smartass comment about how there’s more trees, less pollution, and a lot fewer people. So, of course all those things are true. You think it’s more, something about the magic of Christmas and the New Year.
Your smile falls the second you pull up to the main cabin because you can see that Seungcheol’s car is already there. Figures he would not only drive, but beat you there. You try to set that aside, though, because the place is beautiful. It’s set up with a main cabin where you can hang out, cook, play games, or do whatever you want. Then, there are separate small cabins, mostly just with bedrooms and bathrooms, to sleep in. Nayeon, bless her, took care of figuring out the sleeping arrangements for everyone. At least that would be easy.
Jihoon and Mimi are out of the car almost as soon as it stops, even if Jihoon grumbles about how his legs are stiff and the air is cold. It takes one smile from Mimi and he’s smiling back, grabbing their bags from the car to head for the main cabin. Meanwhile, Wonwoo adjusts his glasses and makes sure everything is turned off before getting out of the car to stretch. When he meets you at the trunk, his gaze is soft.
“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” he asks.
You sigh and pull out your suitcase, with a little help from your friend. “No.”
“We shouldn’t have come,” Wonwoo says.
“Just because I’m being a baby doesn’t mean you should’ve stayed away,” you reassure him.
“You’re not being a baby,” he says with a frown.
“Still,” you press. “We’ve been broken up for a year. There’s going to be a lot of people here, it’ll be fine.”
“As long as you’re sure,” Wonwoo relents. “He didn’t bring anyone, did he?”
“No, Nayeon said it’s just him. She’s worried about me too,” you say with a playful eye roll. “She’s got me staying in a cabin with you, her, and Joshua.”
“I’m glad we’re at least staying together,” Wonwoo says.
“I’m gonna be fine, Wonwoo, you worry too much,” you insist.
You get through the first night and breakfast the next morning without having to say a single word to Seungcheol. It’s been awhile since you last saw some of your friends, so there’s a lot to catch up on. The group is also pretty large, which makes it easier to blend in. Everything, even something as simple as making a meal, is kind of a process, too. You’ve always been pretty comfortable in the kitchen and offer to help cook. Seungcheol can’t say the same. It feels like maybe it’ll be smooth and you can just do your own separate things without it being a big deal. Like you can both just agree to give each other space during the trip and not be awkward.
That lasts until the afternoon on the first full day, unfortunately.
Even though a lot of people take time off between Christmas and New Year’s, a decent portion of the group decides a Friday will still be less busy on the slopes. They want to get some runs in earlier in the day before whatever everyone wants to do later. Seungcheol, thankfully, was one of the first to say he wanted to go. Not surprising, you know he likes really anything where he can be active. Wonwoo was also quick to say he wanted to, after asking you if that was okay. You, again, insisted it was fine.
You’re reading your book by the fire, periodically watching Jun, Nayeon, and Mimi play cards on the other side of the room, when Seungcheol comes hobbling back in. Minghao just behind him, scolding him for not waiting and ruining the peaceful atmosphere.
“What’s wrong?” Nayeon asks, looking up from the game.
“Nothing, I’m fine,” Seungcheol says shortly.
“He rolled his ankle,” Minghao interjects.
“Now you see why I stayed behind,” Jun says.
“I’m fine, really,” Seungcheol insists.
“You should ice it just in case. And keep it elevated,” Minghao says as heads off to the kitchen.
Trying to keep your face straight, you mark the page in your book and get up. All you want is for this to be as subtle as possible. But, Jun is also in the room.
“Where are you going?” Jun asks.
“Oh, just back to my room to get something,”
It’s a lie and you’re pretty sure they know it, but you also don’t care. You’re not going to stay in the room with an injured Seungcheol because he gets pouty when he can’t do exactly what he wants. This is going to be one of those times. There’s no way he’s going to be happy sitting still when he knows his other friends are still out on the trails. Especially when it’s such a minor thing. You hope that they all understand your decision to just let them deal with him and whatever he has to say.
When you feel like it’s been enough time, you venture back into the main cabin, portable charger in hand, for good measure. Not that you think anyone will ask what it is that you needed from your room, but it’s always a good idea to be prepared. Just in case. At first glance, you think the main living area is empty. That makes you sigh in a little relief. Not that you want to be alone when this is a trip for friends. It’s just nice to have a quiet moment in all the chaos. You think you’ll be able to get back to your book, at least for a little, until you notice someone laying on the couch. Not someone. Seungcheol. Quickly, you turn around, hoping he doesn’t see you. And it would probably work, if you didn’t bump into the corner of a table on your way out.
His head snaps up and swivels to look at you. “What - oh.”
“Sorry, I was just leaving,” you say.
“Can you really not be in the same room as me?” he asks. He sits up so that he can look at you more easily.
“I’ve been in the same room as you plenty,” you point out.
“Not alone,” he persists.
“What reason would we possibly have to be alone together?” you wonder.
“You don’t have to be so…” he starts.
“So, what?” you press.
“So…like this,” Seungcheol finishes, somewhat lamely.
“How should I be?” you ask.
“I don’t know, just, not like this. We were always comfortable with each other, even before…” he starts and stops suddenly.
“Before we dated? Before you shattered my heart? Before you decided it was easier to shut me out instead of just talking to me?” you ask, tears prickling at the corners of your eyes.
“I know,” he admits.
“You just abandoned me,” you say quietly. “I needed you and you weren’t there. I never would’ve left you like that.”
“I know. I made so many mistakes. So many things I can’t take back,” he says. He actually looks remorseful. You’re not sure if that’s better or worse. “I’m so sorry for that. I would take it all back if I could. I’d do everything differently.”
“This was a mistake,” you say.
“Talking to me?” he asks.
“Coming on this trip at all,” you admit and turn away. “I have to go.”
With your back to him, you miss the way his face falls at your admission. Don’t see the way he considers getting up to follow after you. It’s for the best, anyway. Your heart's already breaking again just from one conversation. Just from seeing the emotion on his face. The one face you thought you’d always know better than your own. It’s amazing how everything can change in a single moment. How something that took years to build, first as friends and then as a couple, can all come tumbling down in a second. A split second or a fork in the road. One wrong turn and it’s all gone.
You make it through to Saturday without any more forced conversations with your ex-boyfriend. Manage to sit on the opposite end of the table from him during meals. Wait until he commits to playing a game or watching something before you decide what to do yourself. Still, you feel very included in everything with different groups of your friends because there are plenty of people there to hang out with. If you take the forced conversation with him out of the equation, it’s actually been a pretty good trip, overall. Not nearly as hard as you expected it to be.
“I’m gonna go check out the lodge at the mountain, anyone wanna come?” Wonwoo throws out. There’s a smattering of lukewarm responses. Mostly, people say they may hit the trails a little bit later after they’ve had a lazy morning.
“I’ll come,” you offer.
“Shocking that you two are a pair,” Nayeon jokes from her spot on the couch, curled up with Joshua.
“That’s enough out of you,” you joke back before turning to Wonwoo. “I’ll go grab my coat.”
“Can you grab my hat? I think I left it in my room,” Wonwoo requests.
“Sure,” you agree.
When you meet Wonwoo in the entranceway, you find your eyes back on the living area. Almost like you can feel someone watching you. But, when nobody is, you figure that you must have imagined it, not noticing the way Seungcheol’s jaw tightens or his mouth turns down in frown. He had just been looking and he wasn’t liking what he saw. Instead, having missed all that, you fall into step beside one of your closest friends and head out of the cabin.
“It’s not a far walk, but we can drive if you want,” Wonwoo offers, sticking his hands into his pockets.
“No, a walk would be nice. It’s not as cold today,” you say.
One of the best parts of being friends with Wonwoo is the sheer comfort you feel with him. It’s always been like this, since the beginning of your friendship. Always just as easy to say the hard things to him as it is to sit in silence. Always easy to avoid the hard things, because he seems to find it easy to to tell when you don’t want to say something. Unfortunately, it’s also easy for him to push you to speak, even when you’re not sure if you want to. Like now, as soon as you reach the Lodge.
“Are you doing okay?” Wonwoo asks as the pair of you make your way over to a stand selling hot drinks.
“I’m assuming you don’t mean from the walk over here,” you deflect while you look at the menu.
“No,” Wonwoo answers simply.
“I’m fine,” you insist, stepping up to the counter. “Peppermint hot chocolate and whatever he wants.”
“You don’t have to…” Wonwoo starts, falling silent at the look you give him. He sighs, knowing you won’t relent. “Just a plain hot chocolate.”
“Thanks,” you say as you pay.
“You’re not fine. I can see it on you,” Wonwoo says.
You pause when someone calls out your name for the order. “I really am doing fine. The only hard part was getting sucked into a short conversation with him yesterday.”
“What did he say?” Wonwoo asks.
“Nothing much,” you say and meet Wonwoo’s eyes. You can tell you need to carry on. So, you recount the conversation as best as you can remember.
“He misses you,” Wonwoo surmises.
“And if he does? What does it matter?” you ask.
“You miss him too,” Wonwoo points out. “That’s why it matters.”
“I don’t,” you argue. “He broke my heart.”
“What happened? A year ago when you broke up, what happened?” Wonwoo asks.
“You know what happened,” you say with a sigh.
“No, I don’t. I know he left, somehow, but I don’t know what really happened. You’ve always kept that part of the story close to the vest,” Wonwoo says.
“Because it still hurts,” you plead.
“Maybe it’s time you let someone else take a little of that pain by talking about it,” Wonwoo suggests. You find a table to sit down as you’re considering sharing.
Ultimately, it would be nice to get someone else’s perspective. To get someone who knows you both, and cares about you both, to weigh in on everything that happened. Even if Wonwoo seemingly took your side, you know he still talks to Seungcheol as well. With a steadying breath, you launch into the whole explanation, at least your side of it. It’s time, past time, honestly, that you get this off your chest.
It was great, at the beginning. The two of you were friends first, for years, before something shifted and you started to see each other differently. Suddenly stepping a little more carefully around each other. Not really knowing what to do or what to expect. Not sure if it would ruin the friendship to admit that there were feelings there. Until one day, Seungcheol finally made the move, asked you out on a date, and made sure you knew that’s what he was asking. It got very serious, very quickly. Far more quickly than either of you expected. But, that’s what happens when you start as friends. There are so many things you already know, so many things you don’t have to ask, so many memories already embedded into your relationship. Things were good. It wasn’t like they were perfect. There were little fights here and there, but nothing that felt that serious. Nothing that felt like a dealbreaker.
It’s hard to admit, even to Wonwoo, that you saw Seungcheol as your forever. As someone you wouldn’t let go of once you had him. He was your safe space without ever being boring. Your protector without ever being one of those toxic assholes. Your biggest cheerleader without being condescending. It was way too early in the relationship to be feeling like he was your forever, so you didn’t ever say it to him, but you felt it. Felt it deep in your bones. He was also vulnerable with you in a way that he wasn’t with anyone else. At least anyone else that you’d seen. The first time he just let you take care of him, let you see him as something other than someone strong and in control, it made you fall even more deeply for him. It didn’t hurt that he nearly stopped your heart with how stupid hot he was. That gets a snort out of Wonwoo before you continue on.
Suddenly, everything changed. Seungcheol withdrew into himself and stopped confiding in you. He could always be a bit moody, a little deep in his feelings. Still, he would always talk to you about it. Would always share with you what he was feeling. Sometimes it was something so simple as you getting a little too much attention, which he didn’t like. He could be a little jealous. It was something you worked on with him. Sometimes it was a conversation with a friend weighing heavily or something going wrong at work. No matter what, he always talked to you about it. Until he didn’t. Until he just stopped saying much of anything. Until he got a bit secretive with everything in his life and you didn’t really recognize him anymore. His phone was always turned over. Not fully paying attention to you when you were in group settings. Not making plans the way he used to.
“What did you do?” Wonwoo asks.
“I confronted him,” you say. Simple. It was so simple. “I told him it wasn’t okay and that I deserved better. That we always got through things together and that we needed to get back to that.”
“Mature of you,” Wonwoo says.
“I thought so,” you say and take a steadying breath. “He agreed, even. Told me that I did deserve better.”
“So what…” Wonwoo asks, but trails off. Obviously confused.
“He said that it was too much. That he couldn’t give me the things I deserved. That I would be better off finding someone else who could,” you say and wipe away the stray tear.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t know,” Wonwoo says.
“I didn’t want you to. I didn’t want you to look at me like that,” you admit. “Like I was broken because someone didn’t want to love me.”
“You’re not broken,” Wonwoo insists softly, hand reaching out for one of yours. “You’re one of the strongest people I’ve ever known. But it’s okay to admit when you need help. Or when you need a friend.”
“I know,” you sigh. “It’s just hard.”
“I know, but I’m here,” Wonwoo assures you.
Saturday night finds Wonwoo and Seungcheol as the last two awake in the living room, finishing their drinks in relative silence. It used to be easy for Seungcheol, sitting with his friend like this. Yet, it hasn’t been, not in the last year since he broke up with you. Not since Wonwoo made it clear that they were friends, but he was sticking by you no matter what. Not that Wonwoo’s been cold or rude or anything. That would have made it easier, Seungcheol thinks. No, instead he’s been mostly the same. Still just as friendly and supportive. All it does is make him feel worse. Why can’t Wonwoo just say what’s really on his mind?
“How was the lodge earlier?” Seungcheol asks.
“Hmm?” Wonwoo asks, eyes seeming to come back into focus as they look over at him.
“The lodge? You went over there earlier. I was just asking how it was,” Seungcheol repeats.
“Oh, fine. We just ended up getting hot chocolate and talking. Kinda watched people coming and going from the trails,” Wonwoo says like it doesn’t matter. Maybe it doesn’t.
“Are you two…are you…” Seungcheol starts and stops the question several times.
“Dating?” Wonwoo asks, taking pity on his friend. “No. She’s been single since…”
“I broke her heart?” Seungcheol supplies humorlessly.
“I wasn’t going to say that.”
“No? It seems like someone spending that much time with her would say that.”
Wonwoo regards him for a second, adjusts his glasses like he’s buying time to think. “What happened? With you and her, what happened?”
“I’m sure you’ve already heard it from her.” The answer is short. Seungcheol doesn’t want to play these games, not with someone that’s so obviously close to you.
“I’m not asking to hear it from her. I’m asking to hear it from you,” Wonwoo presses. He’s insistent, but his eyes are soft. It’s easy to wonder if it’s time to share.
“I got scared,” Seungcheol admits. “And jealous.”
“Of what? Or of who?” Wonwoo asks. Seungcheol takes a long sip of his drink and grimaces a little. He isn’t buzzed enough for this. Can’t really believe he’s entertaining sharing in the first place. But, well, isn’t this what he’s hoping for? Another chance?
“Of everything and everyone,” Seungcheol says. “She was so kind, so patient, so good to me. Good for me. Just the best person I’ve ever known. I just thought that one day, she’d wake up and she’d realize that she deserved more than me.”
Wonwoo shakes his head. “Why did you think that?”
“I don’t know,” Seungcheol admits. “I guess, well I know I can be difficult. That I get in my head a lot. I know sometimes it’s hard to talk about what I’m feeling. She made a lot of that feel easier, which made me fall harder for her. But, then she makes a lot of people feel that way, doesn’t she? Like she’s the only one who will understand. I don’t even think I was the only friend of ours that had feelings for her. I just, I don’t know, it sounds so fucking dumb now, but I couldn’t compete.”
“It wasn’t a competition, Cheol,” Wonwoo says.
“I know that,” Seungcheol insists.
Wonwoo fixes him with a stare. “Do you? She’s a lot of things, maybe a lot that make people interested in her. But, she chose you. She chose you and kept choosing you, every chance she got. I don’t think that ever would’ve changed.”
“Do you want me to feel worse?” Seungcheol asks, voice rising a bit. “I already told her that I would go back and change things if I could, but I can’t.”
“Do you still love her?” Wonwoo asks, voice so quiet. Yet, it carries all the same.
“Of course I do,” Seungcheol says.
“Then figure out a way to tell her,” Wonwoo replies.
“It’s not that easy,” Seungcheol says. “And aren’t you supposed to be telling me to leave her alone? As her friend?”
Wonwoo rises from his seat. “It can be that easy, if you stop being your own worst enemy. And I’m your friend, too. It doesn’t seem like the chapter is really over for either of you yet.”
Seungcheol sits and considers what his friend shared. Wonders if there might be something there. He barely registers as Wonwoo says goodnight and calls a goodnight in response. Then, he’s left with his thoughts again. Should he say something? Can he bring himself to say something? Or will you just shut it down again?
New Year's Eve brings a snowstorm with it that has your group of friends deciding it’s best to just stay in the cabins instead of venturing out to the party they’re having at the lodge. There’s plenty of you for a party, plenty of food, and plenty of warmth, especially close to the fire. The snow falls lightly outside the windows, blanketing everything around with a fresh layer of powdery flakes. It’s not supposed to get truly heavy until much later in the evening. So, you can just get dressed up and have a party with everyone that’s familiar to you. No worrying about mixing with strangers and how they’ll impact the party.
When you and Mingyu go into the kitchen to take stock of what you have and plan out the food for the day, you realize that maybe you don’t have everything that you need after all. You could actually use more food and you definitely could use some champagne to toast with. It makes sense, though, you planned to go into the lodge to ring in the new year. Your smile when Wonwoo, Jihoon, and Joshua offer to go out and do a run is immediate and wide. You hand over a list of what you need (well, you text it to all three of them just to cover your bases) and they’re off into town. That lets you turn back to the kitchen, where Mingyu and Mimi are starting on an appetizer. You’re trying to figure out what you can work on when someone clears their throat. Your heart skips a little when you look up.
“Could I talk to you for a minute?” Seungcheol asks you, face more open than you’ve seen in a while.
It makes your mouth go dry. How are you supposed to turn him down when he’s asking in front of everyone like this? Like it’s just a totally normal thing to ask? All you can do is nod and avoid looking at anyone else around you. Just nod and follow him into a smaller side room off the main living area.
“Thanks,” he says when they stop walking.
“What was I supposed to do? Make a scene?” you ask.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know how else to ask you to talk,” he admits.
“I heard you,” you say, cutting across his words. He looks confused. “Last night? I heard you talking to Wonwoo. I left my charger in here and came back to get it.”
“Oh,” is all he says.
“Oh?” you repeat.
“I wanted to actually tell you, not have you overhear me talking through things with someone else,” he says, mouth turned down like he’s upset.
“Then you should have just talked to me,” you press.
“I couldn’t! You won’t talk to me,” he says defensively.
“Not this weekend. A year ago, when it all happened,” you say quietly.
“I know,” he says. You expect him to look annoyed or defeated, but he only looks sincere. “I knew the moment you walked out that I fucked up and I’m so sorry. I’ve tried a hundred times since then to just talk to you, but the words never felt right.”
“Cheol,” you plead. You’ve been waiting a year to hear this. Except, you finally feel like you’re starting to move past it all and this is only making it confusing.
“Just, you don’t have to say anything, I just want you to hear me out,” Seungcheol pleads. “I know I have absolutely no right to ask you that, but I’m asking anyway.”
“Okay,” you say, barely above a whisper.
“I fucked up. I knew I did when you walked out, but it took me a while to realize just how bad. I didn’t just drive a partner away, I drove someone away that got through all my walls in a way nobody else ever has. I drove away the person that made me feel comfortable, that supported me even when I was being an idiot, that constantly showed up for me. I was afraid that I didn’t deserve you and always jealous of everyone else that paid attention to you. I thought one day you were gonna wake up and realize that there were better people out there that were less, I don’t know, emotionally closed off. I didn’t realize until way too late that you knew exactly what you brought to the table and what you deserved, but you picked me. I didn’t realize that it’s the only thing I ever needed, was you seeing all of me and picking me anyway,” Seungcheol says.
“I don’t, that’s…” you trail off and shake your head to clear it. You’re trying to find the words when Nayeon pokes her head in.
“Hey, I’m so sorry to butt in, but Mimi just kicked me out of the kitchen. I was only offering because Mingyu said he needed help,” Nayeon says. “I think they need you.”
“Oh, um,” you start, kind of like a deer in headlights.
“You should go help him. I don’t want everyone hating me for keeping you from helping Mingyu,” Seungcheol says with a light chuckle at complete odds with the situation.
“Thank you,” Nayeon says with a smile as she grabs your arm to whisk you away.
“Does Mingyu actually need me?” you ask.
“Huh? Yeah, he does,” Nayeon laughs. “I wasn’t trying to save you, you’re good enough at that on your own.”
“I don’t buy that,” you say, pulling both of you to a halt. Nayeon rolls her eyes.
“Fine, maybe I heard what he said to Wonwoo last night from Joshua and maybe I want you to at least consider what he has to say,” Nayeon admits. “I liked you together, sue me.”
“I just might,” you grumble, heading off to help Mingyu in the kitchen without Nayeon in tow.
After dinner, you and Mingyu insist that you’re not getting anything, for anyone, for the rest of the night. And probably into tomorrow. Mimi got distracted part way through and disappeared for entirely too long with Jihoon. Which would be fine, but there were a lot of people to cook for and you needed all the help you could get. Joshua popped in and out, thankfully, but it was still tiring. The perk has been that you actually haven’t had to lift a finger since. Your drink stays full and someone is always willing to get you something to eat. That lets you settle in to play a game with the group.
The TV in the background steadily counts down as it gets closer to midnight. Occasionally, the performance draws your attention to watch. Mostly, you’re just drinking entirely too much. Somewhere, in the deep recesses of your brain, you know that you’re just trying to avoid thinking about everything Seungcheol said. Or trying to avoid thinking how good he looks tonight. It’s hard to stop yourself from lingering on the way his shirt clings to his chest. Has he been working out even more? Or the way his pants stretch tight across his thighs. Not for the first time, you shake your head to clear it, recross your legs, and focus on whatever game it is you’re playing. Ignore the look Wonwoo gives you from his place next to you. He certainly hasn’t missed your looks. (And nobody else really has, either, except for Jun. But, that’s just Jun for you.)
Everyone sets aside the games when it gets closer to midnight, milling around with varying amounts of energy instead of sitting still. You realize, even with any awkwardness from Seungcheol being there, you can’t think of anyone else you’d rather ring in a new year with. Surrounded by all of your favorite people, what else could anyone ask for? Well, except maybe a New Year’s kiss. As if on cue, your glance drifts over to Seungcheol. It’s a little surprising to find he’s already looking at you, smiling softly. It sends a surge of emotion through you to think of all the reasons you fell in love with him in the first place. When you turn away to take a sip of your drink, you find it’s empty. With midnight rapidly approaching, you really need a refill on the champagne. You’re about to go do that when a voice breaks into your thoughts.
“Here,” he says.
You turn to look at Seungcheol, now very firmly in your space, holding out a new glass of champagne. “Thanks.”
“I just noticed you were almost empty and figured you’d want it,” he offers.
“Yeah, I should make sure this one lasts,” you chuckle out.
The host on TV announces that there’s only a minute left. Everyone around you starts talking excitedly or getting closer to their partners, if they have them. Jokingly, you told Wonwoo that he would be your New Year’s kiss. Now, that’s the last thing on your mind. Seungcheol hovers close by. When you look over at him, though, his eyes are on the TV, counting down along with the host when it gets to ten seconds.
“HAPPY NEW YEAR!”
Everyone shouts together and starts clinking glasses. Hugging their friends or kissing their partners. Your body makes the decision for you when you turn to the man next to you and cheers his glass. As he starts to turn away, you grab his arm and pull him into you. Press your lips against his before either of you can figure out what’s happening. He recovers from his surprise quickly and wraps his free arm around your waist to pull you against his chest. It’s familiar and also somehow completely new at the same time.
Breathless. That’s what you feel when you pull away and cheers with other friends. You throw your arms around Nayeon and press a kiss to Wonwoo’s cheek. Pointedly ignore any looks or raised eyebrows about your decision to kiss your ex in a room full of all your friends. It’s fine. Everyone is doing fine. You’re definitely thankful that someone suggests a game and you can all go back to celebrating without talking about the elephant in the room. A very different elephant than when you first got to the cabins.
There’s another massive difference, too. Instead of sitting on the fringes or carefully leaving space, Seungcheol plops down right next to you. Lets his arm rest along the back of the couch. His arm isn’t around you, but it could be with the slightest adjustment. Several of your friends look at you with the question in their eyes. You avoid all of them, like the true adult you are, and focus, instead, on the warmth of Seungcheol’s thigh when it presses into yours. Actually, you avoid drinking any more, either. The whole night has been a little confusing (read: a lot confusing) and you don’t need an alcohol haze adding to that. It doesn’t escape your notice that he stops drinking as well.
When you start to get a little tired, you excuse yourself to the kitchen, claiming you need a snack and don’t know what you want. A minute later, Seungcheol appears on the other side of the island. Leaning casually against it like it’s the most normal thing in the world. Like he hasn’t sent your entire world into a spiral. Like he’s not still one of the hottest people you’ve ever seen in your life.
“So, uh, I don’t wanna assume anything…” he starts and you hold up a hand.
“I’m going to excuse myself in a minute to go to bed. Give it a few minutes and then come to my room,” you say, walking around him without waiting for a response.
When you tell the group that you’re going to turn in for the night, you do your best not to meet anyone’s eyes. You’re not naive enough to think you’re fooling anyone. Not that you even want to. It’s just, well, you want this time to figure out what’s happening. It’s a little hard to do that when you know everyone’s eyes are on the two of you. There’s the tiniest bit of you holding onto the hope that you can pass it off as you being overwhelmed by the kiss at midnight. Like you didn’t just tell him to meet you in your room.
Back in your room, you shrug off your jacket and sit down on the bed. The seconds seem to drag by waiting for him to show up. For a second, you wonder if he’s actually going to show up at all. You stop those thoughts in their tracks. He had a lot to say and he kissed you back. Then, he spent the rest of the night pressed up close to you. He’s going to show up. Before you can spiral further, there’s a knock at the door. You’re halfway to the door when it opens a crack and Seungcheol peeks his head inside.
“Can I come in?” he asks, looking unsure for the first time since before you kissed him.
“I did ask you to come to my room,” you joke.
“I was a little surprised,” he admits.
“Me too,” you agree.
He shuts the door behind him, allowing you to really look at him for the first time all weekend. To take in his appearance, as he removes his jacket, without any other eyes on your. Or anyone analyzing the interaction. To just appreciate the man you fell in love with. His hair is a little shaggy and blond, a color you don’t remember seeing on him before. He catches you looking, but instead of a smirk, there’s only a smile. Hopeful and genuine. It’s a little overwhelming to have him in your space. To know you need to talk. To know there’s so much to work through.
Instead, in the only move you can think of, you close the distance, wrapping your arms around his middle. He doesn’t even miss a beat. Just wraps his arms around you, erasing any last bit of space between you. It feels calm, familiar. Like no time has passed. Like you’re not different people now. He kisses the top of your head, so soft you think it might shatter any resolve you have left.
“I’m sorry I kissed you in front of everyone without talking to you,” you mumble into his shirt.
“I’m not,” he quickly reassures you.
“I really fucking want to kiss you again,” you admit, still talking into his shirt rather than looking at him.
“Then,” he starts, moving a hand to tilt your chin up, “what are you waiting for?”
“We probably should talk,” you say.
“You’re right,” he sighs.
Except, do you really want to talk right now? Do you really want to stop yourself from kissing him again? You stopped drinking so your head would be clear enough to make this decision. You’re just a little sick of overthinking everything this weekend. Sensing the indecision, Seungcheol presses a feather light kiss to your lips. Enough to make the decision, while also being light enough that you could easily pull away.
You do, just for a second. “Fuck it, let’s talk tomorrow.”
Your lips crash back against Seungcheol’s, hungry and desperate, arms wrapped around his neck. It makes him tilt down a little so that you can press against him. There’s no hesitation on his end, either. You find yourself wondering if he was always this good at kissing or if he’s gotten better since you broke up. Or maybe it just means more the second time around. When he picks you up, you gasp into the kiss. Wrap your legs around his waist to feel a little steadier. Not that you think he would ever let you fall. It’s easier than you expected to fall back into this kind of trust with him.
It’s like you both want to go fast, yet also take your time. Seungcheol deposits you on the bed, then takes his time removing your shoes. Toes his off a little more quickly. You go to remove some of your layers, only to have his hands stop you. He’s so slow, removing the sheer top with painstaking care. Kissing along your skin as he exposes it. The amount of attention makes you squirm. You’re prepared for something quick and dirty. Something more like a one-night stand. You’re not prepared for him to worship your body as he exposes more of your skin. Part of you feels really exposed, because he’s still fully dressed, as he carefully unhooks your bra. The way he looks at you, like you’re the only person in the world he’s ever wanted, makes your heart ache. Makes you second guess if this is right.
“We can stop. We don’t have to do this,” he whispers into your skin.
You grab his face so that you can look him in the eyes. There’s something in you that just needs to gauge him for a minute. Needs to really know what decision you’re making. There’s so much love there, so many unspoken words, so much sincerity. Maybe you’re not over him at all. Maybe he meant everything he said.
“No, I want this. Want you,” you assure him.
His eyes sparkle a little. There’s no time to dwell on it, though. His mouth is on your skin again. Kissing the spot on your neck that he knows drives you crazy. Kissing the beauty mark on your shoulder. Kissing across your collarbone. When he works his way down to your nipples, he’s not being so soft anymore. He pinches one between his fingers without warning.
“Fuck, Cheol,” you hiss.
“Too much?” he asks. You don’t need to look at him to know he’s smirking, but you do anyway. That knowing smirk sends desire coursing through you.
“You’re such a little shit,” you whine.
He pinches the same nipple again. Watches you as he flicks his tongue over the other. Actually smiles when you arch into his mouth. “You don’t seem to mind it.”
You wind your hand into his hair in response, pull a little harder than normal. He groans against your breast, sending a little vibration into your skin. “You don’t seem to mind a little pain, either.”
There’s no answer. Not that you need it. One of his hands moves down your body, mouth still focusing on your chest, until he gets to your thigh. Your skirt is bunching up around hips from squirming on the bed. “How much do you like these tights?”
You look down at the sparkly tights you bought just for the party. That you’ll probably never wear again. “I mean, they’ve got sparkles. Wasn’t planning to wear them again.”
“Good,” he says.
You’re expecting him to rip them on the spot. Instead, he returns his mouth to yours, kissing you hard, and lets a finger run over your entrance, through both tights and underwear. It’s not enough. There’s entirely too much fabric in the way. He’s teasing you, he has to be. There’s no other reason that explains this kind of torture.
“Jesus, Cheol, please,” you beg.
“What are you trying to do to me?” he groans. Seems like he still likes it when you beg for something.
In either case, he carefully rips a hole in your tights, too focused on you to figure out pulling them down. Seemingly in one motion, your underwear is pushed to the side and he’s got a finger running up your entrance. Feeling that you’re turned on from the way he’s been kissing all over your body. Thankfully, you don’t have to beg again. At least, not yet. He presses his fingers at your mouth and you suck them in eagerly. Swirl your tongue around them. He almost looks reluctant when he withdraws them to press one inside your cunt.
“Fuck, you’re so wet for me,” he groans.
“Forgot how good your fingers felt,” you answer, squirming underneath him.
“Bet I could make you come just on my fingers,” he says as he adds a second one.
“Fuck,” you draw out. He’s not being gentle with you anymore. “Then you don’t get to taste me. And we both know how much you love that.”
He leans in closer, you’re assuming to kiss you. Instead, his lips find your ear. “Who says I can’t do both?”
You bite down on your fist to keep from screaming out when he thrusts faster. Try your best to hold on when his thumb brushes over your clit. All you want is to prove him wrong. Prove that you can hold on and that you’re not putty in his hands. Except, your body remembers. It remembers just how good he makes you feel. Remembers how well he knows what makes you crazy. Nobody has ever known your body like him. And it’s a little annoying. With his fingers inside you, it’s easy to realize that nobody feels as good as him. You could never get yourself off like he could.
It’s an embarrassingly short time before you’re coming on his fingers, fighting not to scream out. Trying anything you can not to make it more obvious just why you decided it was time to head to bed. Seungcheol guides you through the high as you fall back into the bed, sinking deeper into the mattress. After a moment, you prop yourself up to watch him remove his shirt. You’re no longer the only one that’s overexposed. Then again, you don’t feel exposed being half naked around him. It only feels comfortable. Once he removes his shirt, he moves back to your body. Actually takes the time to remove your tights and underwear now. His breath ghosts across your cunt. That action alone is enough to send a little shiver through your body. You’re definitely sensitive.
Seungcheol positions himself between your legs and looks up when you suck in a breath. “Are you okay, sweetheart?”
He’s so pretty like this. You’ve always thought that. Pushing his hair out of his eyes and looking up at you from underneath his lashes like he’s never seen anyone more beautiful in his life. So caring. The little bit of caution you get from him in the middle of him ruining you. You clear your throat to remember he asked you a question. “Yes, Cheol. With you, always.”
It’s immediately more honest than either of you are expecting. Instead of breaking the moment, though, it seems to spur him on. The kind smile dissipates into something much more confident. He spreads you open and looks up for a last time before his tongue licks a strip up your entrance. It doesn’t matter how long it’s been since the last time he was between your legs, your entire body remembers. It’s like muscle memory. The way your back arches. The way your hand knots in his hair. The way the praises fall from your lips. You’re sensitive. So fucking sensitive. And he knows. It’s always been one of his favorite things with you. Pushing you to the edge and then over again.
“God, I forgot how fucking good you taste,” he says when he takes a breath.
“Well maybe, fuckkkk,” you start before cutting out.
For once, he’s not a demon. He doesn’t ask what you were about to stay. Just keeps alternating between fucking his tongue into you and sucking your clit into his mouth. It’s too much and not enough all at once. Your entire body feels like it’s on fire. When his nose bumps against your clit as he’s buried deep in your pussy, you lose it again. Come all over his tongue and his face. Come harder than you remember coming in a really long time. If he notices, he doesn’t say anything.
By the time the last shock works through your body, he’s laying next to you on the bed. You can’t help it. You have to lean over and kiss him. Want to taste yourself on his lips. It’s almost like you need that to know this is all real. That it’s all happening and it’s not just some weird, horny dream. (It’s not like that would be a first, either. You’ll never admit it, but you’ve thought a lot about him since you broke up. Especially when you were horny and needed a release. That’s your business, though.)
“Fuck, Cheol,” you utter when you pull away from the kiss.
“I’ve missed hearing my name on your lips,” he admits. “Specially when you call me Cheol.”
“I’ve missed saying it,” you share, equally honest.
You’re a little weak already. It’s hard to imagine what tomorrow is going to be like. But, you move down the bed anyway. Seungcheol tracks you with his eyes as you position to undo his pants. He moves his hips up to help you pull both his pants and briefs down. His stare as you pull your skirt down and discard it at the side of the bed is almost possessive. It sends something through your body.
It’s your turn to remind him that he’s not the only one who remembers. You also remember just what drives him crazy and just how to get him going. You remember every place he likes to be kissed. So, you start there. Run your lips along every part of his body, like you’re committing him to memory again. As if you could ever forget anything about him. You delight in the sounds you pull from him just with your kisses. Maybe he knows, though, that you’re working your way down.
“So hard just from getting me off,” you comment.
“Because I know that nobody can make you come like I can and it’s fucking hot,” he answers.
It’s the same answer he’s always given and something about the familiarity makes you bolder. Even though you know there’s a conversation for tomorrow, it feels like the easiest thing you’ve ever done. You take his dick in your hand, run a finger over the tip and feel a little bit of the precum there. When you lick a stripe up the underside of his shaft, he shudders. Closes his eyes for a second before they snap back open to watch you. He’s always been like this. Always wanting to watch. This time is no different as you slowly take him into your mouth. You know he wants to fuck into your face, know you’d let him. But, you’re thankful he doesn’t. Even if you remember, he’s still big and thick inside your mouth. You need the time to get used to him. Once you do, though, you start to bob. Slowly, at first, before you let him take control. Relax your throat and let him find purchase in your hair. Encourage him to jerk his hips up as you keep your eyes on him as much as possible. You know how much it drives him crazy, even as the tears form and you gag a little
“Fuck,” Seungcheol utters.
He pulls you off his cock and up to his face so that he can kiss you. This is your favorite version of him. When he’s needy and desperate and completely putty in your hands. Like he can’t possibly imagine being anywhere that you aren’t. It’s when you know that you’re not crazy, that he’s just as far gone for you as you are for him.
“I really need to fuck you,” he says. His lips are swollen from kissing you and his pupils are completely blown. “Fuck, I don’t have a condom on me.”
“It’s fine, I’m still on the pill and I haven’t been with anyone since you,” you say.
That seems to catch him off guard. “You haven’t?”
“No,” you answer.
“I haven’t either,” he admits.
“Then, we’re fine. I trust you,” you tell him.
“Thank god, I really miss being inside you,” he breathes out.
“Think you just miss me,” you grumble as you reposition to straddle his lap.
“You and that smartass mouth of yours,” he retorts.
“I’m about to ride you, Seungcheol, and you just fucked my smartass mouth. So, maybe, pipe down,” you warn him.
This has always been your dynamic, swapping back and forth for who’s in control. As much as he says he likes control, you know he likes giving it up to you just as much. You know that he hasn’t ever let anyone else be in control apart from you. He looks up at you as you position yourself over him. There was a time when you hated this position. Felt really self conscious about how you must look from this angle. The second you admitted it to him, he was quick with his praise. Assuring you that you’re beautiful to him and there’s nothing to worry about.
He stops you before you lower yourself onto him. Puts his fingers in your mouth again and you obey without a second thought. Then, he runs his fingers along your entrance. Slides a finger in before quickly adding a second. It’s an awkward angle, but you get what he’s trying to do. Appreciate that he wants to make sure you’re at least a little prepped. When he pulls his fingers out, you’re only a little embarrassed at the moan that slips through your lips. If you completely ignore the smirk that he throws your way, well, who can blame you? The smirk is gone a second later when you finally lower yourself onto him.
“Fuck, you’re so tight,” he groans.
You know him so well. You know his instinct is to buck his hips up into you. You know it’s hard for him to let you adjust. But, you also know that he wants to be gentle, even if it’s just for a moment.
“I forgot how good you felt, jesus fuck,” you moan out.
“Please, I need to feel you move,” he begs. It’s nice, when he’s the one to beg for something.
And who are you to deny him anything he asks for when he sounds so pretty asking? You do move, entirely too slowly. You need to find your rhythm, though. Need to find some place to anchor your hands. They settle on his chest, at first, and you actually can’t believe how much muscle he has there. He’s always liked to work out. Always wanted to be in shape. This is even more than that. You’re still appreciating the way his chest feels when he grabs one of your hands. Without a word, he moves it to his neck.
“Are you sure?” you ask.
He nods. It’s been awhile since you choked him, even lightly, but it turns you on. It’s easy to see that it turns him on, too. As you apply a little bit of pressure, his fingers dig into the soft flesh of your hips. You do everything that you can to pick up the pace. To move faster on top of him. It doesn’t take very long until he’s planting his feet so that he can set the pace. He takes over the rhythm and it gets a lot harder. Bodies slapping together with each movement.
“Fuck, Cheol,” you say, trying not to scream.
You move your hand from his neck so that you have a better grip. He’s moving too fast for you to feel comfortable that you won’t press too hard into his neck. It’s insane, you know that it’s insane, but you already feel like you’re getting close again. You start to clench around Seungcheol, making the stretch feel that much more intense.
“Fuck, baby, I’m gonna come if you do that,” he groans.
“Then do it,” you force out. “Wanna feel it inside me.”
“Jesus,” he groans.
Everything happens so fast. You can feel him everywhere and your body is on fire. He’s still fucking hard into you, but he’s also rubbing your clit. Helping you get there with him. Somehow, he doesn’t seem to realize you’re already on the verge of your third orgasm. Oversensitive and overstimulated. Your body starts to shake and it’s hard to keep yourself upright on top of him.
“Fuck, Cheol, I’m coming,” you hiss out.
“I’m about to come too, fuck,” he answers.
His thrusts get a lot more erratic and you feel him let loose inside you. You feel the way he moves to try and support you even while he’s working through his own release. When he stills, you collapse forward onto his chest. Breaths shallow and heavy. Your whole body’s exhausted, yet so happy at the same time. Carefully, you pull yourself off him. You’re sure a little bit of cum slides out with the loss of his cock inside you. Not that you care.
It’s several minutes of silence. Seungcheol lays on his back and you’re on your side next to him. It might be a mark of how much he really did miss you that he doesn’t flinch when you start tracing patterns onto his stomach. It’s not like you just stop being ticklish. Eventually, you realize you need to get up. The last thing you want is to go to bed crusty.
“Come on, I got lucky and I have an attached bathroom,” you say when you get up off the bed. You reach a hand to him and smile when he takes it without question.
It’s quiet again as you help clean each other up. A comfortable kind of quiet. The way it used to be. This is another favorite of yours with him. Aftercare has always been his thing. No matter how rough he is with you in bed, he’s impossibly gentle when he cleans you up. It makes your heart ache a little because you’re so fond. It’s a weird mix of feelings.
“We should sleep in my room tonight,” he says.
“We’re already here,” you point out.
“With sheets that are probably soaked,” he teases back.
“What are the chances we can get to your room without being seen?” you wonder.
He shrugs. “It’s late. Probably better than the chances nobody heard us.”
Your cheeks flush a little. Sure, you definitely tried to be quiet. You’ll have to wait until the morning to see if you succeeded.
“Come on, my room has a door to the outside,” he says.
So, you follow. You put your layers back on and grab something to sleep in. And you don’t actually see anyone before you’re safely tucked away in his room. That night, falling asleep tangled up in Seungcheol, is the best night of sleep you’ve gotten in a long time.
Morning comes and brings with it the need for an actual conversation. As you stretch in bed, you appreciate the soreness in your body with a smile. Anything you’re feeling now is surely worth it. That is, until you realize you’re in bed alone. Dread creeps in. Could last night really have meant something different to Seungcheol than it did to you? Did you just make a massive mistake? You’re starting to wonder if you’re only going to break your own heart this time, with nobody else to blame, when the bedroom door opens. Seungcheol steps inside with a thermos and a bag that looks like it might have some of the pastries Wonwoo brought back from the store yesterday.
“You’re awake,” he says with a smile. He sets down the thermos and removes his jacket to hang it up.
“I was worried you’d left,” you admit when he finishes taking off his shoes and sits next to you. His face looks hurt for a second before it settles.
“No, I just went to get coffee and figure out what we were walking into before you got up,” he says.
“And?” you prompt.
He pulls out a pastry and hands it over. “Nayeon asked where I slept last night and if I knew where you were. I don’t think she heard anything, but who knows with her? Wonwoo wasn’t in the main area, so I don’t know. They said they all knew I was following you, though.”
“Guess we can’t really avoid it,” you joke.
You’re expecting him to smile, too. Instead, his face is serious. “Do you want to? Avoid it, I mean.”
It makes you serious. Maybe a little too honest. “I don’t want to get hurt again.”
“I don’t expect you to believe me, not right away, but I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you,” he says and takes your hands in his. “If you give me another chance, I’m never letting you walk away from me again. I’ll prove that I’m worth everything you give me.”
“You’ve always been worth it, Cheol,” you tell him.
“I realize that now,” he agrees. “I also realize it’s up to you to know what you deserve and what you want. That wasn’t ever my decision to make and I’m really sorry for doing that to you.”
“It hurt, for sure, but not having you around hurts so much worse,” you admit. It’s hard to meet his eyes, even though you know you’re safe.
“It hurts so fucking bad. I hate it. Last year was the worst year of my life,” he says.
“You got a massive promotion, though! Wonwoo told me,” you say.
“This is going to sound so cheesy, but I’m done caring. That promotion didn’t mean shit without you being there to share it with,” he shares with you.
“I guess we’ll have to celebrate it this year,” you say.
His face lights up. “Really?”
“I want to give us another chance. I don’t think either of us are over it,” you acknowledge. “Last night aside, I want to take it slow. I want to take our time instead of rushing in like we did the first time around. I want to get it right this time.”
He nods immediately. “We can go as slow as you want. I mean it. I’m not letting you go again.”
“Good, because I don’t think we should wait to see if the third time’s the charm,” you joke.
“I’m glad I came this year,” he says as he grabs the thermos.
“Me too,” you agree.
It’s funny, you think, how someone can feel so familiar and yet so new at the same time. Seungcheol feels like home, like your favorite sweater, or like curling up with a book by the fire in winter. But, he feels entirely new, too. Like maybe you both changed over the past year. Maybe you both grew into the people you needed to be to love each other better. To love each other right. Later, you’ll have to break the bubble and face your friends. Right now, though, you can just appreciate that this silly little cabin trip brought you peace.
this was a lot of fun to write and i hope you liked it 💕
#seungcheol x reader#seungcheol smut#seventeen x reader#seventeen smut#scoups smut#scoups x reader#seungcheol x you#scoups x you#seungcheol imagines#seungcheol scenarios#seventeen imagines#seventeen scenarios#scoups imagines#scoups scenarios#kvanity#kchristmas#svthub#ksmutsociety#seungcheol angst#seungcheol fluff#scoups angst#scoups fluff#jess: fic post
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