#i never know how to find good sounds for animatics lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

caelanglang · 1 year

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Hihi

Can I ask you what program do you use for the animatic? And can you recommend any good program for practice? (I never used any of these programs, and they look pretty hard, so I don't want to pay yet for one, but I want to make something :c)

Hello! This might be a bit long but I hope I can help you with this (I'm holding your hand because this is also my first time doing an animatic so I have no idea on what kind of good pipeline there is to follow...) I apologize in advance if this won't be the most helpful answer :,))

okay so for the software. I use the ipad for most of my work nowadays... unfortunately, both apps that I use are paid—RoughAnimator and Procreate. I'll walk you down with how I do it. It is not the most efficient way but here's how it goes for me... :,))

Storyboard

I think the most important thing for planning something like this is having a clear vision of what you want to see. I started this animatic by brainstorming in my storyboards what I want to see in timing with the song and its lyrics. Here's an example of what I previously shared... [disclaimer: I did not follow the template so yeah, feel free to ignore the kanji characters]

you can see the outline I roughly made to tell myself what scene I want to show to what lyrics (I got lazy to write the whole lyrics down lol) and also added some notes like the movement of the character and camera pans etc.

here are the corresponding drawings to it (sorry if the quality is bad, I just screenshotted this from my gallery ><;;)

Drawing the Cuts

All of the drawings are done on Procreate. I use this software for most of my drawings now, mostly because I like the texture of the brushes there. At this point, I am not worrying about timing these drawings to the music yet but I am reassured since I already made my guide of that in the storyboards. Procreate also has an animation feature that helped me draw the breathing sequence.

Compiling and Timing the Drawings

Once I've saved my drawings to my photos, I move them to RoughAnimator. Here is where I time the drawings with the song. What I like about RoughAnimator is that it has its own drawing tools (I don't really like the brushes tho... hence, me using Procreate instead), it has a camera tool that allows me to pan across my drawings and also shows the sound wave thingy of the song that helps me with timing. It also allows me to easily adjust the exposure or how long a drawing flashes on the screen at my chosen framerate.

I would sometimes be unsatisfied with my initial drawings, leading to me going back and forth between Procreate and RoughAnimator to revise stuff. (which in my opinion is not efficient but I can't really think of any other way to do this...)

So yes. That's pretty much how I'm working with it so far. I am currently stuck because both Procreate and RoughAnimator have very limited features when it comes to panning images... I'm still figuring out how to do that but I'm thinking of moving to video editors for these kinds of stuff instead of relying on RoughAnimator...

I hope you aren't discouraged by this,, I know it isn't the best solution... If you are to follow this kind of workflow, I think a good combination of any drawing software (hopefully with an animation feature) and a reliable video editor to time it to the music (I recommend finding ones with camera pan and motion tween features) is sufficient enough for this.

If you're using an ipad like me, iArtbook is a good free alternative to Procreate with a good animation feature. I have yet to check it out properly but Filmora or Capcut might be a good video editor... If you're using a desktop, I think Krita is good for drawing and animating!

I'm so sorry again if this wasn't really helpful. I will definitely share it if I were to find a better workflow for this. If you'd like to have some storyboard templates, here are some I found on the internet!

I wish you all the best in your plans and practices!

(feel free to ask again if you have any questions, I hope this helps somehow :,))

#pls dont be like me and I hope you do your best making cleaner storyboards aksjdhfalskjdf #my workflow is a mess i am so sorry #i genuinely hope this helped more than discourage #inbox #art progress #wip jail

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skarmoree · 2 years

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kicks the door down. lucina for character songs ask?

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MANY SONGS I HAVE FOR LITTLE STARLIGHT

black butterflies and déjà vu, the maine (specifically the acoustic version bc i love how it sounds uwu)

What would you say if you could only say Everything you needed to To the one, you needed to? You flash like a setting sun You come around, I come undone Can't find the sound under my tongue When I look at you

hi. i found this song by accident one day and LOOK AT THE TITLE. this song is just. HER.

sobbing in a little puddle on the floor i cant even say more just listen to the song and experience the shrimps with me

what if tomorrow comes?, starkid (from the musical "black friday")

Do you all see what I see? What I know What I see Do you all see the memories? Tomorrow reminds me

Tomorrow will come Tomorrow won't come Tomorrow come today Tomorrow will come Tomorrow won't come Will tomorrow come today? And turn the light off

we love a good song abt time shenanigans at the end of the world. hi luci did you know this song makes me (lies face down on the ground and screams)

the thing abt this song is it feels so very very Bad Future™, with like, all the kids joining in as the song builds up. i want to make an animatic to this so bad.

Rider's Lullaby, from centaurworld

You’re okay, you’re alright I’ll never ever leave your side I will stay, I will fight with you

im not saying very much about these lol im just SO very whehhh about luci thats my DAUGHTER all my songs are very much a mother doting on her child lol its just how im gonna beeeeeeeeeee

but like. rider's lullaby. i think about it constantly. think abt it from the context of chrom and/or her mother singing it for her. cry with me. this is a threat, not a request.

i have more songs but started listening to dont speak her name and fell apart so this is what ur getting dhglisduhfg

#my dearest luci #ask game !!#<3 #amamillalatortilla

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apurikottotii · 6 months

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march song recs!

this month passed way too quickly. i finally put confronted the thing that has been plaguing me for the past few months. it saddens me that it turned out the way it did, but to be honest i don't have enough energy to care anymore.... so! i also did some things that scared me a lot (which were easier than i realized), got some really good scores on a couple of tests (i'm very proud) and realized that i need to continue improving on myself in various aspects. i cannot always hold other people to my standards, since we are all so different.

--- fight or flight - conan gray

my friends were shocked to see me listening to a "normal" artist for once. smh. ngl i did find this song from a ship edit- a DAMN good one at that, it tore out my heart. i seriously love the lyrics of the chorus and how "i'd rather lie" and "i'd rather die" contrast each other. it's. so. good. my second favorite part is the part that goes "they've got eyes like mine...". the way he sings is also so amazing.

--- 一笑江湖, this december

i've featured these songs before haven't i??? i'm surprised to see them so high again lol.

--- If I Could Ride A Bike - Park Bird, Chevy

i first found this song in 2020 (of course i did), from a ship animatic (of COURSE i did) so it brings back lots of very nostalgic memories listening to this song. i don't always love romance songs, but this one is super cute and ends on a terribly sorrowful note. it's always a easy listen with its cafe ambience vibes and simple metaphors. "but, I will never be, able to do these things", and the whole slow section, always hurts.

--- William Shamsphere ~ Back Alley Bard - Yasumasa Kitagawa

listen. do not get weirded out by the guy's name. this theme absolutely slaps. the castanet sounding like percussion in the background are so satisfying to listen to. it's so flamboyant and dramatic... like the guy himself. i've been on a dgs rewatch lately, so maybe more of its music will show up.

--- Being low as dirt, taking what's important from me - TUYU

okay i have no idea what this song is about, i don't even know the lyrics, but i wanted to try listening to some tuyu because i have a friend who really likes them (and i LOVE song titles that are extremely long and specific), and this song really stood out to me. it's so catchy and raw, vocally. also a very easy listen. i will check out more tuyu in the future.

--- rabbit hole - deco27

i don't know why this song is so popular right now. it released a while back... is it because of the animation? i only listened to it because i decided to click a random deco27 song, not because i was recommended it, so i was surprised at its current popularity. all i'm gonna say is that deco27 needs to stop making soulless music that sounds good on the surface...

honorable mentions: harrow, magic (milgram project), ghosting (mother mother), it's not like i like you (static-p). every time i listen to inlily i lose a bit of my soul from cringe but it's regained by the end of the song because its honestly pretty sweet.

#music #vocaloid #i need to find some jesus #march 2024

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thespoonisvictory · 3 years

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question- how much of technos pov have you watched? it feels like a lot of your longer posts take every opportunity to take shots at c!technos character and storytelling, even when they feel a bit out of thin air- if you have watched his pov id love to hear more extended thoughts! (genuinely not trying to be pissy here im just curious, im also not trying to be like one of those “you can only have an opinion on this character if youve watched every stream theyve ever been in” people, it just seems like a recurring thing for you & feels a bit different when youre specifically going at his writing, yk?)

I've watched all of the c!techno lore streams my guy! (I've watched pretty much every cc!techno stream from the past year and a half ish in general as well, if that means anything to you lol)

I think he's a neat character, but I've grown to kind of despise the way a lot of people talk about his quotes. His "you want to be a hero tommy, then die like one!" is a good animatic line, but how does that line up with anything that c!tommy is doing? tommy doesn't want to be a hero, he says as much in that moment, and c!techno would know that because all c!tommy talks about is wanting his home back.

the quote itself doesn't bother me as much as the fandom reception does, because the fandom cut out c!tommy's part and portrayed it as a cool badass Moment! rather than techno chronically misunderstanding the guy that was supposed to be his ally.

on doomsday, techno says "I'm a person" and "people are more important than discs/the government!" (roughly), more quotes that got cheered on for being cool. but the first one makes no sense, because, well, tommy has never treated techno differently than any of his other friends? and for the second, tommy is literally giving up his pursuit of the disc with techno to side with his friends and home instead? it just- doesn't reflect what's actually happening in the narrative, but uses those buzzwords that make it easy to quote.

once again, the quote itself isn't the problem. c!techno can and should be biased, have incorrect assumptions, etc etc. the thing that makes me frustrated is seeing so many people venerate this as absolute fact or truth, using those quotes fully unironically, and cutting out tommy's responses.

techno's words sound nice because he's a convincing speaker, but oftentimes I find that the meaning behind them is lacking or hollow, and yet they're so often still treated uncritically by the fandom. the fact that his quotes often get more attention and praise than the more understated ones from people like tubbo, niki, or even ghostbur, makes me a bit annoyed (although this is partially due to their range in popularity), because his monologues feel impersonal or detached from the narrative at times for me.

for example, him ranting about the evil of l'manburg when it's like, five poor people who he can all beat, isn't an epic girlboss moment as much as it is a little embarrassing for c!techno to feel so threatened. his character fulfills that archetype of the badass hero who fights for what's right and what he believes in, but it falls flat when he's stronger than literally every character other than dream, who he allies with.

I just like make jabs at him because I'm petty, and because I think a lot of my early experience in the fandom was so populated with techno being hailed as the greatest speech giver to ever exist that I find it a bit amusing to poke fun at it. It definitely is a little bratty on my part lmao and I should probably keep that out of more formal analysis, but he's a better explanation of it.

#c!techno critical #technoblade critical #dream smp #asks

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revirushifaa · 3 years

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If you've listened to the audiodrama of Levi and MC eavesdropping on Luci's conversation with Diavolo, can you please write a continuation of it where MC gets them out of punishment by pulling out Uno (or the 2+ player game of your choice) and inviting him to join them in the game they had been about to start. Luci accepts MC' s invitation to Levi's shock and spends an hour or two sitting on the floor behind the couch (MC insists it's the best spot for playing) playing with the two of them.

Ahh of course! In fact that was the animatic from a user in YouTube that I watched so I know what you mean, haha, this will be fun to write! I decided they play Monopoly(Or Devilopoly lol) as I don't really know the Uno cards game's rules, I'm more of Monopoly so, Monopoly it'll be!

Neutral MC because there wasn't a specified gender in the request.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Getting Away With Mischief

After Lucifer ended up the call with Diavolo by phone, he then proceeded to advance behind the couch that Levi and MC where sitting at.

"You two." He began with that deep, frightening tone of his.

'Oh, crap.' Levi gulped when he knew that they were both toasted because of Lucifer and his tendency of dealing everything in a terrifying way.

"What do you think you're doing sitting behind the sofa while I'm on the phone?" He said with a very terrifying grin to the two frightened Levi and MC.

"Oh, um, well, you see..." Levi stuttered, knowing that the two were busted and cornered. There was no way that they would get out of the punishment that there was in for them. Until MC raised their hand and spoked up, much to Levi's dismay. No one could defy the eldest brother.

"Wait! Can we talk this over another way? How about we play some board game?" MC said with hopeful eyes.

“Oh? A board game you say? Very well, let’s see what game you have in mind.” Much to the shock of the third oldest’s shock. What? Lucifer letting them off easily? In what world?? Was this still his brother?? Woah!

MC smiled big, knowing they won this over and that they were free of whatever punishment the Avatar of Pride had in store for them(Levi, of course knew what it was, but MC was new to the so-well known punishments that the eldest always dished out.), pulled out what in their world they called, a large box containing the game of Monopoly.

“This game is up to eight players, so it’s all good with the three of us, playing it.” They beckoned the two brothers behind the couch and sat down, explaining the rules and how the game was played. It would’ve been Mammon’s forte, since he was so greedy when it came to money, even if this was fake money.

“There are eight tokens, you can choose the one that you want to play as. I choose the dog.” MC chose first, grabbing the dog token.

“If that’s the case, I get the car.” Lucifer answered simply, picking up the car token, and Levi chose the tennis shoe.

They were given an exact amount of money and soon they started. MC went first and they got four. Next went Lucifer, and he got six in the first try. And Levi only got two. So the eldest was to go first. He moved the car token six spaces until he got to a question mark space. MC took a card from the card pile and for Lucifer it was the free jail pass, he was such a lucky one.

“You keep this card with you for all the game, lucky you.” MC had wanted to get it, but they were beaten to it so they handed it over to the demon. Lucifer smirked like putting emphasis that because he was the eldest, he had the luck with him. Levi rolled his eyes, and saw as it was MC’s turn, they advanced four spaces and landed on an avenue, they knew that the they started selling properties in the next round, so they left the token where it fell. Levi went last and advanced two spaces... he was the least lucky one as he fell on the jail spot.

“You go to jail and can’t get out until you play a double or pay for it.” MC explained and Levi groaned, great. Now he would just watch Lucifer and MC playing silently. He was rooting for MC to win, but knew it would take quite the long while to accomplish that, until one of them ended in bankrupt and had sold every single of the properties.

And so back a forth the only two players of the game continued their game. Then they started with the selling of properties, they were still having the same amount of money.

MC had played this game plenty of times in their world with their family or friends, so they knew their own stuff, it was quite interesting that this human was playing against Lucifer of all demons, but even they knew that they could end either as the winner or as the loser of all the game, because Lucifer was not being an easy task, he also seemed to have known his stuff as he impeccably was playing with all his knowledge and might.

MC ended up in jail and they groaned too, now Levi wasn’t alone in there, but know they had to wait until they could get out, Lucifer smirked again.

“Mm, looks like we know who will be the winner.” As always as prideful and boastful, Lucifer bragged about it much to Levi and MC’s annoyance but they didn’t say a thing, and saw as Lucifer was going alone in every round, he was a lucky one because he had the get out of jail free card so he wouldn’t be able to end in jail.

Eventually, Levi and MC got free of jail and took their tokens once again and resumed their game... it were two good hours in the game and soon they knew who was the winner.

Of course it was Lucifer as expected, MC only wanted to save themselves from the discipline from the eldest, so they didn’t at all care that they lost. Same coul be said about Levi who looked calm now, knowing that there won’t be any worry to be hung from the ceiling along with MC, they were new, they didn’t deserve to be scared like that.

“Well, congratulations, you won, feel happy!” MC congratulated him.

Lucifer smirked. “Consider yourselves free from what was going to happen, only because I won and I am in a such good mood. You are lucky.” And he gave himself an applause, before standing up and nodding, he had to go do something else, so he left both MC and Levi to their own fun.

“MC, you’re awesome, thank you so much for saving our skin from Lucifer... you have no idea how he was going to punish us and frankly, I’m so glad that you didn’t find out what it was.” To Levi that was a scary experience, but if he told to MC what that was all about, they might think that it didn’t sound too bad. Being hung from the ceiling was something many would’ve preferred than to being beaten up mercilessly and without any pity to crying.

“Whatever it was, I’m so glad too, Levi. Ahhh. Let’s never eavesdrop on your brother, okay? No good things happen when that happens.” MC sighed and the both of them agreed on never cause Lucifer to get mad and do hell to any of them.

#obey me imagines #obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me mc #lucifer #leviathan #board games #monopoly

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trashcreatyre · 3 years

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I'm gonna explain one of my TMA playlists bc I've been wanting to do that for several months, and how else am I supposed to procrastinate my animatic project at one in the morning?

(here's the link to the playlist bc I think its pretty slappin')

General:

Body Terror Song By AJJ-

I know that it could technically be a flesh song, but I feel like its a bit more vague than that? if that makes sense?

The Afternoon By Lemon Demon-

there's gonna be a lot of Lemon Demon songs in this lol- This one is also pretty vague, but for some reason it kinda reminds me of Michael specifically? I don't 100% know how to describe it.

thrifted youth By dalynn-

Most of the descriptions/reasonings in the general section are pretty simplistic and vague huh? I guess it just kinda fits the vibe? I might be saying that for a lot of the general ones-

Aurora Borealis By Lemon Demon-

this one reminds me of the season five, kinda feels like a jmart song. (also you'll probably notice that there's not much in the ship theme in this playlist. I like to keep my ship playlists separate from my more general ones, don't know why.)

Under My Skin By Jukebox The Ghost-

just kinda fits the vibe y'know? other than that I don't really know.

Turn the Lights Off By Tally Hall-

i can't actually remember why I put this one specifically- that's a bit unfortunate-

When He Died By Lemon Demon-

This one mostly just fits the vibe, makes me think about the really old Victorian era statements.

Ancient Aliens By Lemon Demon-

again, fits the vibe.

She Doesn't Sleep By Anthony Amorim-

Feels like a random statement tbh. also reminds me of Not!Sasha too.

Nightmare Fuel By Lemon Demon-

funky song- fits the vibe- I don't know what more I can say-

Everybody Loves Me by OneRepublic-

I don't remember actually???? I think It was an Elias one??? but thinking about it now that doesn't really make much sense???? I'm gonna keep it tho, fits the vibe, at least it does to me.

Bloody Nose By Jack Conte-

fits the vibe :)

Christmas Kids By Roar-

I think I saw an animatic to this one time? now I can only think of the season one archival staff,,,, my beloveds,,,,

La nuit en matin By OH MU-

imma be honest, I have no idea what this one's actually about, but It lowkey reminds me of the intro music during end of season three- y'know, the clown vibes :D

9 to 5 By Dolly Parton-

Archival staff moment

American Healthcare By Penelope Scott-

I guess it could technically be seen as an End themed one? but I put it on bc I felt like it fit the vibes (are you getting sick of reading vibes? i'm getting sick of typing it)

Butch 4 Butch By Rio Romeo-

mostly just the rat filled piano line,,,,,, and also it fits the vibes to me.

Oblivion By Grimes-

Kinda feels like a statement?? In a way?

Murders By Miracle Musical-

the vibes. hopefully thats the last time i type that for this-

oh yeah woo yeah, we're onto the specific Entities now B) lets start with the one that probably has the most, if not, it sure feels like it-

The Spiral:

Spiral Eyes By Rewenge-

yeahhhh,,,, I know it doesn't really fit the vibes all that well, But the title fits and I like it so-

The Distortionist By Ghost and Pals-

this one is SUPER obvious, but it fits REALLY well in my mind.

Out of Her Head (Outerlude) [From The Film Possibly in Michigan] By Korban Baxter-

I can literally picture this one- I lowkey wanna do an animatic of this one one day.

A Crow's Trial By Vane Lily-

OKAY- so this last one is because it's the song from an absolutely GORGEOUS animation/animatic by Akidachi on YouTube, I ADORE this animation. please watch it omg-

again, I'm like, 90% sure that The Spiral has the most songs on this playlist, definitely not a bias or anything. next up is the mf uhhhh-

The Corruption:

Spiral of Ants By Lemon Demon-

no explanation needed.

Maggot By Slutever-

Mostly just the name, but it's a good song too so-

Sick On Seventh Street By Sarah and the Safe Word-

fits the vibe title and actual song wise.

in retrospect under my skin probably could be here-

The Web:

Redesign Your Logo (Bonus Track) By Lemon Demon-

Feels like a very web song,,,

Boris The Spider By The Who-

Spider,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Spider Dance By Toby Fox-

Yes,,, like from undertale,,,,,,,

i think thats it for the web (i swore there were more,,,,)

The Lonely:

Nobody By Mitski-

C'mon, you didn't think I WOULDN'T put this one on, did you?

This December By Ricky Montgomery-

idk what it is exactly about this one, just,,,, feels correct?

Blue Jay Way By The Beatles-

MANNNNNNN- i love this song, my mom hates it- that's unrelated- but I always just feel like there's fog or like, an eerie sea, or something- while listening to it. it feels very lonely-

I'm a Member of the Midnight Crew (1909) By Eddie Morton-

I have no idea why spotify suggested this song to me, but I will never not find it funny. Anyway- reminds me of the crew on Peter's ship :)

The Stranger:

Rattlesnake By Kabaret Sybarit-

Idk, feels like smth Nikola would sing at jon- idk how else to explain it-

A Mask of My Own Face By Lemon Demon-

pretty self explanatory lolll

The Slaughter:

War Pigs By Black Sabbath-

war.

The Hunt:

The Hunter By Slaves-

maybe this one is because it's because it's litterally called the hunter, and that they say hunter a bunch, but it is fun to listen to-

Teeth By 8 Graves-

I cannot remember my reasoning at this current moment-

The Flesh:

Body By Mother Mother-

the lyrics do be fittin doe

The Dark:

Everything Goes Dark By The Hoosiers-

i mean- everything goes dark- what more do you want me to say-

Dr.Sunshine Is Dead By Will Wood and the Tapeworms-

i think its mostly the song's vibe and the title.

The End:

The Trick to life By The Hoosiers-

the trick to life is not to get too attached to it.

Memento Mori: the most important thing in the world By Will Wood-

remember death.

YOOO OKAY NOW WE'RE ON THE ONES THAT I HAVE ACTUAL THINGS TO SAY ABOUT NOW- at least for the most part-

Characters:

i think i'm gonna go from least to most for this- (spoilers, Jon has the most ones because I care him)

Cryptid Hunt- Demo By Averno, Sushi Soucy-

this one makes me think of the WTGFs,,,,,

You're at the Party (Bonus Track) By Lemon Demon-

makes me think about Micheal Shelley,,,,,,,

Saint Bernard By Lincoln-

Alice "daisy" Toner moment-

Mary By The Happy Fits-

mary keay,,,,,,

there used to be a gerry one too, but the more I heard it in the context of the playlist and him, It just didn't fit,,,,,

Ew it's Elias/jonah time-

The Fine Print By The Stupendium-

capitalism- jk- kinda- Idk, just feels like it fits because he really just kinda,,, doesn't care about his employees-

How Bad Can I Be? from the lorax-

I had to-

Boss 3 from the terraria soundtrack-

Listen- I don't know why- but- it has elias/jonah vibes- the vibes are fowl, but the song is good.

Ruler of Everything By Tally Hill-

Panopticon/eyepocolypes time-

Ayooo it's jon time- I really hope I can write out my thoughts in a way that makes any kind of sense- /foreshadowing

A Sadness Runs Through Him By The Hoosiers-

Goddddd,,,,, he's just kinda filled with sadness and survivors guilt, just like, all the time huh?

Home By Cavetown-

the lyrics are just- very him- like- I just gjbdjgsflkjns-

Broken Crown By Mumford & Sons-

frick- the foreshadowing was accurate- the best I can describe it is that the lyrics just???? y'know??? hhh why am I like this sometimes-

Sweet HIbiscus Tea By Penelope Scott-

i'm willing to bet that he never wanted to be the main character-

Honey I'm Home By Ghost and Pals-

I saw a Jon centric animatic to this one time- I can't for the life of me remember who by, But everytime I hear the moth lines, my brain goes ":0" Because I remember there was a time when people kept drawing moth jon- I don't know where that came from but I thought it was very cool.

Who Are You, Really? By Mikky Ekko-

I'm like- actually starting to get frustrated with how poorly im articulating my thoughts right now- this just isn't funny anymore-

Sleep By My Chemical Romance-

I'm not actually sure why for this one- I just remeber putting on my black parade CD, hearing this, and being like, "damn, that do kinda be jon tho-"

I hope you enjoyed my ramblings- tbh, all this sounded and read out better in my head. My words might not make sense, but I do like how the playlist is. also im very tired, maybe this would've been written better if I wasn't struggling to keep my eyes open lol. I'm gonna fall asleep now- or maybe i'll post a spiral themed doodle dump again, who knows. I don't know.

#tma #oh god im literally too tired to put so many tags #i just cant #the magnus archives #playlist #spotify #spotify playlist #my brain actually hurts #im so tired

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enderspawn · 4 years

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🎼 (I can’t find the correct emoji lol) exile arc tommy?

Oh boy! (opens up breakdown playlist) /hj

Montreal – Penelope Scott

Sleep with a Baseball Bat – Cosmic Johnny

Brother – Gerard Way

breakdown under cut, tw for suicidal ideation on the first song esp

1. Montreal – heehee hoohoo suicidal/depression thoughts baby!!

I mean in short this is tommy saying he wont Survive exile. The intro of the song lists when the singer would be home from college/school and that “another 90 day summers gonna take [their] fucking life” which is rlly just. Tommy not gonna live THAT long in exile.

“And I would rather die And let me make it clear It's nobody's fault But I think we all know That I won't make it to Montreal”

So the thing here is that its “nobody’s fault” bc on one hand it is that he doesn’t blame tubbo but worse he doesn’t blame DREAM. Its just meant to happen, its not bc of anybody, yknow?

“And I would rather die I'll jump before I'll fall And I'm having lots of fun But I won't make it Montreal”

Mans tried to jump to his death before he “fell” whether bc of dream or an accident, hes makin the active CHOICE to end it rather than just waiting. Even w the fun he’s having w dream, he’s miserable and he knows he wont make it to see lmanberg again

“You like to talk about the future As if it's real And when you tell me that you love me I can almost feel it”

Dream keeps promising him stuff for the future. Maybe he can visit to see the tree, maybe he can get another visit, maybe he wont be alone. But tommy doesn’t care, its all fake to him (which like, it is so good for him but fjkdlsjf)

“It's not that it's a bad plan No, the plan fucking slapped I was so excited you don't know how bad I wanted all of it The coffee shop, the weather, the apartment But I don't want anything anymore I don't know, I guess I just got bored”

Okay so. Tommy kept trying to get shit together to leave, right? He wanted to go back so bad and have this domestic life w his friends but in the end he just got so downtrodden that after his shit got blown up he was so ready to just GIVE UP.

“And I don't wanna die I don't wanna get left behind But it's better half than none I hope to god you have some fun”

He doesn’t want to be in this situation, he still CARES abt the lmanberg crew but in the end hes been told that they’re happy WIHTOUT him. He’s not angry at them, not anymore, he just wants them to be happy bc he isn’t.

2. Sleep with a Baseball Bat – tommy and dream relationship baby!!

“And every time you wake up Thinking this could be the day Well something, something just”

Every day in exile he had no real plans. He just had to exist out there alone and hope someone else came. This IS the day he can do…. Something. He doesn’t know. He doesn’t have a goal.

“And when your love is an anxiety attack Don’t settle for that, don’t settle for that And when you wake and find the claw marks in your back Sleep with a baseball bat, sleep with a baseball bat”

Hes been manipulated into thinkin dream is his friend, that dream “loves” him but it makes him miserable! Hes paranoid and stressed and falling apart!! Boy!!! Fjdsklfj

“Siena says you’re getting used But something’s broken in your head And you can’t run away when you need to”

The other ppl who visited him, like ranboo, KNEW something was happening and that he was in a bad place but tommy had been manipulated by dream so much that he couldn’t process it. No, dream couldn’t be bad, dream was his friend, right? He couldn’t leave exile, dream would be upset. Its all what DREAM wants, not tommy.

“Hey, space cadet Are you still floating round the rock That you spent so much of your life trying to get away from? And does it at least look different from up there?”

OKAY SO ONE. SPACE CADET? THAT’S CLARA BABY!! TWO: he spent ALL his time on this server fucking fighting dream, trying to “get away from” him. But now hes stuck “floating around” with him as his “friend”. The last line feels sarcastic and bitter but like. FUCK it hits, yknow??

“It might take a couple tries till you believe it But love is real, you’ll figure it out, you’ll live to see it But you still have to take a couple of falls And you can’t make an omelet without breaking your balls So batter up Is your bed made? Is your helmet on?”

HAPPY ENDING POG!! HE STARTS HEALING!!!! HE STARTS REALIZING DREAM WASN’T HIS FRIEND!!! He still “falls” and relapses into wanting dream w him but hes so much better!!! Also,,,,, “is your helmet on” w the turtle shell helmet (eyes emoji)

3. Brother – IF TECHNO AND TOMMY NOT BROTHERS WHY THIS SON—(gunshot rings out)

Okay so on a serious note this song is abt addiction and while I don’t want to take away from that Serious Topic, it Does relate but w tommy dealing w his ptsd of dream

“And brother, if you have the chance to pick me up And can I sleep on your couch To the pound of the ache and pain? Oh, in my head 'Cause I'm awake all night long To the drums of the city rain”

Hhrhnrng staying at technos place to hide from dream and get better a lil JFKDLSJK. Also “the drums of the city rain” is referenced a LOT in this song but like. It keeps him up so,,,,,, dream JFKDLSJF. Mans barely ever slept in exile so it WORKS okay jfkdlsjf

“The lights we chase The nights we steal The things that we take to make us feel this (To the drums of the city rain)”

This is him and techno livin together!! Like in the first chorus you could see lights we chase being tommy finding techno’s place, then later it’s the lights of lmanberg as they sneak in. the nights they steal is both just time spent together and also straight up the times they stole shit JFKDSLJ. “the things that we take to make us feel” is the gapples tommy always eats so that he can feel safe (also, bc in the og song this is PROBABLY abt drugs and potions are drugs in universe so. Arguably getting a potion effect from the apple means it is Also Drugs? Fjdkslfj)

“I can't go back I don't think I will I won't sleep tonight as long as I still Hear the drums of the city rain”

Go back to logstedshire or lmanberg you ask?? The answer is yes. Both. He feels like he doesn’t belong in lmanberg and logstedshire is too traumatizing for him to return at this point. As long as he “hears the drums of the city rain”, or is thinking of dream, he Cant Sleep:tm:

“Does anyone have the guts to shut me up? 'Cause I believe that every night There's a chance we can walk away So hold on tight Because I won't wait too long In the drums of the beating rain”

Okay so hear me out but. This is just tommy and dream. “I believe that every night theres a chance we can walk away” is tommy hoping desperately for dream to let him go home, to walk away from logstedshire. He never will be permitted, not really, but theres a chance that tommy clings to. He wont “wait too long” while out in exile and stuck w dream bc hes desperate and miserable (also fun fact these analysis is basically me just pmv’ing shit in my head and rambling vaguely abt it but like. Listen,,,, flashback verse jfkdsljf) ALSO. The line “does anyone have the guts to shut me up” in relation to exile!tommy is just VERY important to me. Mans was so quiet and afraid to speak up when in exile.

“'Cause the nights don't last And we leave alone Will you drive me back? Can you take me home? (To the drums of the city rain)”

Following up that last paragraph, this is still in flashback. The days end and dream leaves again, making tommy alone. He asks if he can go back, if he can see home and lmanberg and everyone. But echoing the “to the drums of the city rain” after home CAN imply that “home” has become logstedshire WITH DREAM even tho it keeps him up and aaAAAAAHHHH

I swear this ends up okay and techno + tommy focused fjkdsljf

“Faces I don't know I am tired in the glow”

He feels isolated from everyone during his exile and lashes out at those who visit, to the point he feels like they’re all more or less strangers and “faces he doesn’t know”. Being tired in the glow is, imo, him over the lava.

“Of the freezing club Keep me breathing Don't make the lights come back Can you take me home? We all need this When we leave alone”

Hhhngg okay so tommy breakdown time! Hes in techno’s house (the freezing club) and is just pleading for techno to help. Don’t let “the lights come back” (lava again maybe? He doesn’t want to be Like This?) and just wants to feel like hes at home because hes just left exile and hes Messed Up Over It

“Remember when you and I would make things up? So many nights, just take me down To the place we can hear them play I miss that sound 'Cause now we don't sing so loud To the drums of the city rain”

OKAY SO THEY MAY NOT BE CANON FAMILY BUT WILBUR REMEMBERS SPARRING W TECHNO AS A KID AND PHIL IS HIS CLOSE FRIEND SO THEY STILL KNEW EACH OTHER AS KIDS SO SHUSH FJSDKL. Tommy just wants things to go back to how they were, before everything. When things were easy and they were kids just having fun. He misses it. Before exile, before lmanberg, before dream. But it doesn’t matter, because they’re stuck in this now. With his brother dead and his closest friend being the man who killed his best friend and helped blow up his country. Again, the drums of the city rain is dream. Because of his influence, its all different.

Hhhngngngn this is too long so I wont go into the last outro bc you can interpret it a LOT of ways, esp depending on how you want to Pace this song w the exile arc. But like. The analysis is THERE if you really wanna push it/animatic it babeyyy

#dream smp #mcyt #tommyinnit #exile arc #HHHHNG IM SORRY THIS IS SO LATE JFKLDSJ #I PROMISED MYSELF ID FINISH THIS ASK GAME UP AND WOULDNT GO IN DEPTH AS MUCH THEN DID EXACTLY THAT W THREE SONGS JFKDSL #tommy #answered #song ask game #listen the last song is a LIL bit of a stretch but its my playlist i get to put in the not depressing song fjdkls #Anonymous

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dredreadsdrawing · 4 years

Text

Oc-tober day 8: Sadness

I also made an animatic which is why this took a day longer to post (cuz my video didn't wanna export ewe) Here!

Recalling my past Final Girls story posts, I mentioned Lottie befriends a girl that was a defect of the outcasts. This is Spirit. A trans gal overwhelmed by anxiety and trying to fit in. It's noticeable but I'll point it out anyways, she has a lazy eye. I love her to bits oof. Her story goes as follows.

She's been Bo's, the eventual head of the outcasts, best friend since they were children. Growing up together, he knew her by her deadname and was the only one there for her when she came out during highschool. She didn't expect to have someone on hee corner, nevermind someone as protective as him. He waa always looking out for her, making sure she appeared normal... Calling out her flaws when she didn't. All with good intentions of course, so that she could blend in better.

Blending in was her priority. It became her anxiety.

They graduated and went to the same university. They became roomates, and though they went to different departments, she would always spend her extra time at his building, hanging around his fellow classmates. He soon got a group forming that wasn't... The best.

Outcasts, they called themselves. The odd ones out. The newly marginalized. The ones that society was stepping over.

She really hid it deep inside herself what group Bo was really forming. How they looked and sounded to outsiders. Especially on a campus so diverse, they stuck out like a sore thumb.

She never got along with the other outcasts, and they never paid her much mind. She blended into the background, only watching, never engaging in their heated discussions of injustices. She was only there for her friend.

A semester in, life with Bo is going well. Beinf roommates came naturally to them, and they feel a lot closer now. A bit too close. A night without reservations, they end up having a fling. They wake up surprised, but neither runs away.

They realize they could fill each other's needs in a new way.

For now. Atleast thats what he keeps cementing. He thinks friends dating is too complicated. But fucking? Sure. No strings attached is great.

And Spirit isn't complaining. She gets a bit delusional with her expectations of the future, too sure of her place eventually changing.

When in comes a girl that takes Bo over in one clean sweep. She runs the group now. They're all over her. All the points she makes, all her plans and visions for the future. She's inspiring.

Spirit's gut sinks fast.

She never spoke out because she naively hoped Bo would let go of his prejudices. He'd been so supportive of her, afterall!

But his biases are being set in stone more and more each day. He's grown entitled and angry. And Spirit is afraid.

She can't get through anymore. Hes furious whenever she tries to make a point contradicting his world view. The night before the big plan, she gives him an ultimatum.

He calls it off or she's calling the cops.

He calms down. He tries his coaxing voice. He tells her they can talk it through and she melts like butter into his embrace.

Then he beats her. He locks her in his room. He takes her cell phone, tells her he'll let her out when they're done, and he's gone.

She's left sobbing on the floor, shame welling up for all her inaction and letting him get to this point. She was so stupid. So careless.

.... People were going to get killed.

She stops her pity party and she calculates. She breaks the doorknob. She hotwires his beat up truck. His backup pistol is still inside.

She feels this is her responsibility. She's going to make ir right.

At the scene, the bloodbath has only just begun. Victims scatter and the outcasts hunt with ammo to boot. But one of them stays behind when he notices Bo's truck.

Bo had told them Spirit wasn't up for this.

He smiled at 'her' seeming change of heart. More than the privileged minorities, he hated people like 'her.'

It starts off with the facade of friendliness. He's happy she made it. She aims the gun at him. He's surprised, but he points his shotgun back.

She wouldn't do it. She was always soft-

A shot to the shoulder. She apologizes for missing. Another to the neck. That's better. He drops down, gurgling, clutching his wounds. He's dying, and he's so fucking pissed off about it.

She doesn't have time for his show. She stomps forward, her real target in her mind.

She won't cover for his ass anymore. She's going to kill Bo.

Passing through, she knows where to find him, but it takes a while. She doesn't want to waste more bullets on the others, she only has four more, so she has to hide.

Once she finally reaches the main house, she quietly comes up the stairs and prepares. She's shaking but she's willing. This is her redemption.

A shot rings out and deafens her ears. She bursts through the door.

The girl that took over has killed Bo.

She smiles at Spirit's entrance.

"Here to pick up my sloppy seconds?"

She laughs and waves as she sits on the windowsill.

"He wasn't my type anyways."

She slips outside.

Spirit let her go.

She wasn't her target. It was Bo. And now he was done.

She feels so hollow, looking down at him. So unfinished. The four bullets in their chamber feel heavy.

She looks beside him and notices a book. One the girl had kept close to her person ever since she met her.

She picks it up. She opens it.

A scream rings.

She can still help someone.

She tucks it under her arm and walks to the source of the sound, but finds Lottie already there. Already done.

A single girl from the victims is still alive. She may be the only one. They crowd together, explaining snippets of who they are. They're on the same side. But Lottie has to go.

She leaves the survivor to Spirit's protection to take care of her own business. They find a cellphone and call the cops.

As they wait in the night, jumping at any sound, the content of the book is in the back of her mind. She saw a diagran of sorts. Looking like the symbols Christians would fear.

Before the authorities arrive, she decides to hide the book. She won't let them take it. She'll come back for it later.

Once everything is said and done and they are saved, it's thanks to Lottie and the other girl's alibis that Spirit gets to walk free. They only know of her helping, not of her one murder of the night.

Days after the investigation concludes with the death of all culprits, she returns to the scene of the crime. She gets the book. And she opens a door.

There's a way to summon back a soul, it promises. Spirit is a believer of many things. She's willing to give this a try.

The end for this part lol.

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12-am-username · 4 years

Note

(If you have time,) imma save the angst for another day— but just, imagine Nene quietly singing "say so" by doja cat while cleaning the bathroom (lol there's an animatic about it too) and then Hanako hears it and teases her LOTS and heck calls her "babe" X'D

say so

(hanako x yashiro nene | oneshot | fluff and crack ish | 1.4k words | SPOILER FREE)

— requested by @aliarosella —

i’m going crasy and HIGHKEY PISSED THAT THIS IS MY THIRD TIME WRITING THE SAME AUTHOR’S NOTE BECAUSE THE WIFI SUCKS HHHHHHH i am okay now. but damn non angst AND spoiler free??? never thought i’d live to see the day HAHA. sorry for the delay since sOMETHING IS ACTING UP. ALSO PLEASE STICK AROUND TO THE END TO READ AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT which is like,,, my third time making the announcement 🤪🤪. (unedited)

“Day to night to morning, keep with me in the moment. I'd let you had I known it, why don't you say so?” Yashiro didn’t think he’d hear it. She wasn’t singing loudly, the song just came to her unprompted as she cleaned the girls’ bathroom. At least, to her it wasn’t loud. From the corner of her eye, she could see the mokke having a small dance party, jumping from sink to sink. She supposed that the mokke didn’t mind her singing. Unbeknownst to her, neither did the apparition of the bathroom.

“Didn't even notice, no punches left to roll with. You got to keep me focused, you want it, say so.” Hanako came from the rooftop when he heard someone sing in the bathroom. It sounded like Yashiro, but his ears couldn’t believe it. Once he saw though, there was no denying it. She had her eyes closed as she mopped the floors. He quietly rested atop the door to the third stall, almost cat-like. He rested his head in his hand as he watched her dance with the mop as a smirk formed on his face.

“It's been a long time since you fell in love. You ain't coming out your shell, you really ain't been yourself.” Yashiro continued to dance her heart away while mopping the floor. Hanako’s eyes softened as he watched her give her soul into the song. The smirk on his face slowly turned into a smile, his eyes never leaving her figure. She’s really cute like this, he thought, especially when she’s not yelling. He quietly snickered to himself before resting his head in between his arms. “Tell me what must I do—do tell, my love—'Cause luckily I'm good at reading.”

“I wouldn't bug him, but he won't stop cheesin’. And we can dance all day around it.” Yashiro spun around, a smile on her face but never looking up. She danced with the mokke, who seemed to be repeating the phrases like background singers. They jumped around, occasionally sliding across the floor. She let out a giggle as she set down the mop. The floor seemed clean and shiny, all that’s left to do is to let it dry. She removed her gloves and set them to the side. “If you front then I'll be bouncing. If you want it scream and shout it, babe. Before I leave you dry—“

Perhaps she mopped the floor too much. Maybe she didn’t pay attention to where she cleaned. She figured that she was lost in the song that one part of the floor was clearer than the rest and didn’t notice. Or maybe it was all in her head and that she was naturally not thinking at that moment and really thought it was a good idea to step on the recently cleaned tiles. It was definitely the last one that caused her downfall. Literally. She barely had time to react as she found herself getting closer to the ground. She let out a shriek as she raised her arms to her face.

“Gotcha!” Yashiro opened her eyes, mere inches away from the floor. Arms wrapped securely around her waist, she turned to face a smiling apparition. His face was closer to hers than the floor as his grin only grew. His teasing smile did not make her cheeks flush. No, that’s not what happened, it certainly didn’t make her breath hitch. It definitely didn’t make her want to hide her face. It undoubtedly didn’t make her stomach fill with butterflies. It certainly, unquestionably, definitely, did not make her heart race.

“Ha-Hanako-kun!” She stammered. Yashiro liked to believe that she wasn’t fast. When running, she found herself at the average level. Not an impressive feat, but she found herself moving faster than the beating of her heart as she tried to stand up. However, Hanako didn’t let her escape from his grasp, only tightening his hold on her. His smile softened, something Yashiro was grateful for until she found his hand inching closer to her face. Instinctively, she closed her eyes. She wasn’t sure if she was trying to hide from him. However she was, undeniably, not closing her eyes for a kiss.

“You never told me you could sing.” Huh? Yashiro opened her eyes. His hand brushed a stray lock of her hair from her face. His touch was so gentle. Maybe it was because he was an apparition, or maybe it was affection. Her train of thought stopped as she recalled his words. Her cheeks flushed a bright red as Hanako smiled at her. He wasn’t teasing her, at least, she thought he wasn’t. Did he hear her sing? That’s a stupid question, he probably did. How long? Why didn’t he say anything? Did she sound bad? Did he like it? Why should she care if he liked it? Why is she not asking these questions out loud?

“You’re a good singer, Yashiro. I could listen for hours.” Her blush worsened as her eyes grew wide. She stuttered out incoherent words, her mind raced as she tried to find something to say. Hanako let out a giggle as her eyes refused to look at him. What should she say? She could thank him, but she found her self esteem dropping exponentially. She could ask any of her questions, but she couldn’t find the right one to start with. Her mind came up with a blank as she stopped speaking, even though she knew that the jumbled up words were nonsense. Hanako snickered. “Not a bad voice for a daikon.”

She lunged at him. She hit him in the chest with her elbow, grunting as it made its impact on him. She didn’t expect to fall down with him. Clearly she forgot that he had an iron grip on her waist to prevent them from falling. Except now she fell. She fell on top of him. She unmistakably didn’t fall in love with him. There is no falling in love, just falling. Hanako let out a grunt while Yashiro was debating on whether or not to apologize. On one hand, it probably hurt a lot. On the other, he called her a daikon. A decision was made.

“Don’t ever call me a daikon.” Hanako watched as her expression changed from flustered to pouting. It was cute how her expressions can melt his heart. He let a smirk form on his face as she looked away, blushing slightly. Hanako saw a scale appear on her cheek. When did she get it? Almost like it was second nature for him, he reached out and dried it off. For a moment, they stood still, not moving. They supposed that Akane literally stopped time, but the small movement of her eyes as she stared into his denied it. He must have been staring for a long time, before he let out a laugh.

“Whatever you say, babe.” Nothing stopped Yashiro from backing away. She may have knocked a few mokkes out of the way. Her back met the third stall door as her face flushed pink. Hanako tipped his hat as he walked away from the bathroom, Yashiro screaming out incoherent words. Perhaps it was because he was too far away. He could admit that seeing her annoyed face made his heart leap. Her blushing expression did not keep the butterflies ar bay. While all of that is true, there is no denying one thing: he felt something deeper than butterflies and faster heartbeats when he watched her dance and sing. It was a good feeling. He liked it.

BONUS:

“Day to night to morning, keep with me in the moment. I'd let you had I known it, why don't you say so?” A few days passed as Hanako found himself singing the song too. He sat on the rooftop with Yashiro and Kou as he quietly hummed to himself while they ate their lunch. Yashiro didn’t know whether to feel happy that he liked the song or annoyed that he was probably mocking her. Her thoughts were interrupted by a groan coming from the young exorcist.

“That’s the fourth time I heard that song today!” He exclaimed. His outburst shocked the two, Hanako immediately stopping. They looked at each other, not knowing what to do. Instantly regretting it, Kou slumped down and ran a hand through his hair. Embarrassed, he muttered an apology to them.

“Fourth time?” Yashiro tilted her head in confusion. They spent a fair amount of time together before lunch. How could he have heard that song three times before now? Kou sighed. He didn’t want to tell them, but he supposed it was good to let it out.

“Mitsuba kept singing that while class was ongoing.”

ANNOUNCEMENT TIME:

there’s no doubting that i’m not as active as i was before, and for those who stick around to read my fics i cannot thank you enough for being there. i might not be as active as before since i’m focusing on my studies to prepare for college entrance exams which would be a lot stressful since my wifi is acting up so i sincerely apologize for any delay and thank you all for liking my little fics 🥺🥺 STAY SAFE AND WASH UR HANDS

#jibaku shounen hanako kun #jshk #tbhk #toilet bound hanako kun #hanako #hanako x yashiro #yashiro nene #yashiro #nene #dear god this is my third time #PLEASE #some mitsukou #a lil bit of koumitsu #small amount of other mitsuba x kou ship names

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my-happy-little-bean · 4 years

Text

Figment of My Mind

pairing: none~ warnings: mild swearing, body horror, death (though it is implied that it is imaginary), bloody imagery, mentions of poison, mentions of thunder storms, mentions of fire/allusions to burn-out, slightly unsympathetic!patton / morally grey!patton, unsympathetic!janus, remus, & virgil words: 3334

summary: Roman tries to make the right choice, but falls into something much more than just “wrong”.

Or: the one where Roman chose neither the wedding or the callback.

a/n - hello, it is i, bean; posting some rough, angsty horror at like 1 am because that’s !! just !! where we’re at right now! working on everything but the thing we’re supposed to be working on!

i was heavily inspired by the song “figment of my mind” by bruno major (someone pleeeease make an animatic with this song it’s great), so that’s what the lyrics are! it was also written to make @wisepuma23 and @thesocialbookwormishere proud lol – they’re such talented beans, and i wanted to hop on their angsty train to horror town lol.

i’m sorry if this isn’t the happiest journey, but i really enjoyed writing something! it reminds me of that angst i wrote for patton when “can lying be good” came out – ah, the good ol’ days of bean angst lol.

enjoy!

[read on ao3~]

––

“i traveled into deep space to see what i could find a purple angel led me to the universe inside.

welcome to the real world not the dream you left behind. that was all a figment of your mind.”

––

When Roman left his room, the stars in the sky were only still forming.

It was late at night. Thomas (and by extension, Patton) had already gone to bed in tears. They have been doing that all week.

Logan had confided in him a few days back, confessing that he wasn’t sure why Patton was crying. Patton had nothing to lose with the verdict Roman made. In fact, he still won in some ways. He had theorized to empty, static-filled ears that perhaps Patton’s tears were just a reflection of Thomas’ emotions; a normal reaction everyone dramaticized to illogical extents.

Then he theorized idly that maybe Patton was crying because he felt like he was wrong the whole time.

(Roman didn’t leave his room for two days straight after hearing that.)

They didn’t have much left for Roman nowadays, and neither did Thomas. The days crept closer to dreaded April 13th and no one made a sound. Nothing was being done, nothing was being made. It was as if everyone was haunted by Roman’s decision; as if the sound of the gavel was echoing everywhere he stepped.

And then, as April 12th ended– when Roman finally thought it was all over–

he realized that neutrality in a war was the enemy.

(In a moment of hypocrisy, Patton yelled at him, “Dishonourable.”)

So that was why he was here, sneaking out through the hidden door of his room and into the Imagination. He moved swiftly across the fields of nighttime fog and dew-covered grass to the giant, steel gates guarding The Dark Side.

Or, the other side.

(It hurt less to think of himself like an ‘other’ rather than...well, that.)

He stood before the towering gates. It made sense that he felt like he was crossing paths into the dark forest Disney movies warned him about. A streak of lightning cracked across the sky like splintering glass, and every three minutes, a maniacal cackle shook the ground at beneath feet.

Leave it to Remus to be so dramatic.

It’s been a while since you’ve seen him, he thought wearily, gripping the hilt of his sword just in case. Would he even let you near him?

And then, a bitter thought: There has to be some family who will.

Suddenly, a cold hand grabbed his shoulder. Lightening screamed with him as he turned on his heel and whipped his sword tall in front of him.

“Show yourself, vil–”

Then, his vision cleared.

It was suddenly raining in the Imagination, and Virgil stood in it, drenched.

“Virgil,” he hissed, slowly lowering his sword. “I could have killed you.”

“Can’t die.” The words came out as a low rumble, one that shook the earth beneath them in a different way. “Not real, remember?”

“But you– but we’re–”

Virgil shook his head, waving a hand in front of him with a smug smile.

“Relax, Princey.” The old nickname pressed itself into Roman’s arm like a curse crawling on doomed lands. “Just some dark, 3 am humour.”

It wasn’t much reassurance, but Roman didn’t care. He was already clinging onto it tightly, never wanting to let it go.

“What are you doing here, J.D-lightful?”

“Trying to figure out what the fuck you’re up to.” Virgil leaned forward, almost cockily. “What are you doing here?”

A pause. Roman forced his stare down at the rotten dirt below him.

“I’m going to fix everything,” he muttered.

Virgil skipped the first obvious question. “And you think Remus is going to help with that?”

“I think something there will.” Roman pressed his feet into the ground with a snarl. He gripped onto the hilt of his sword even tighter. “If I go now, Remus will never even need to know.”

Roman noticed how Virgil grit his teeth and clutched the sleeves of his gridded hoodie as if it’d swallow him whole and make him disappear completely.

“What do you even need in there?”

Roman turned his back on him as another crack of lightning shattered the glassy sky above them.

“Remus controls intrusive and destructive thoughts,” he said, choosing his words carefully. “And what is the only destructive thought plaguing all of us right now?”

The answer hung between them, dead as the grass impaled by the ends of the metal gates.

“What if Thomas had gone?”

“So you made a decision then.” Virgil’s voice, despite its venom, held an edge of worry. “A bit too late to figure out what the right choice was, no?”

Roman huffed, standing tall despite the fact that his words made him shrivel.

“If you’re just going to stand there and be completely unhelpful,” Roman growled, walking towards the gate and grabbing the handle, “I’m just going to take my leave now–”

“Wait.”

Roman stiffened at the layered tone of Virgil’s voice. He spun around to face him against his will, being forced to look at the hooded side.

Virgil suddenly stuck his hand out, and Roman saw a glimpse of dark eyeshadow painted in thick layers over itself under his eyes.

“If you cross, you know what’s going to happen, don’t you?”

Roman blinked. “What?”

“You– do you even know what you’re getting yourself into?”

“Not the point of an adventure, is it, Marilyn Morose?”

Virgil groaned. “I should let the damn thing eat you alive, Jesus Christ…”

“Seriously, what are you talking about?”

Virgil waved his hand, still outstretched.

“Let me take you.” Another bolt of lightning pierced the sky. Roman felt as if it was going to fall on him at any second. “If you can survive with me, you’ll probably leave with what you really wanted.”

Roman stared at his hand, as if the offer in it grew legs and was crawling up that inky checkered sleeve. Virgil’s words seemed to swarm in his head, and he didn’t quite understand what he was saying, but something told him that he needed to listen.

Virgil’s hand floated between them like a paranoid ghost.

And so, with a deep breath, Roman took it.

––

“we flew amongst the patterns, impossible designs they’d been there the whole time hidden by my eyes

if i’d had a body it surely would've cried but tears were a figment of my mind”

––

Roman felt himself fall apart when he touched Virgil; as if Virgil was passing sharp sparks between their palms, and those sparks were finding cracks in skin Roman didn’t even know existed.

It felt as if his entire world flipped vertically, the ground defying the laws of reality and throwing him, somehow, onto the floor at the other side of the gate.

Roman couldn’t even feel Virgil’s hand anymore. Instead, he just felt lightning stab his chest and blur his vision, a swirl of purple, yellow, and green swimming in front of him.

Then, it all stopped in an audition room.

Virgil was nowhere to be seen, but Roman could feel him everywhere. He made himself believe that it was just because Thomas always felt this way before an audition.

Maybe it was the monotone filter of it all. Everything in the room—the camera, the table, two chairs, the walls—were various shades of black and white.

And he was standing, stuck, in front of the empty chair. He still felt dizzy from whatever hellish trip Virgil had sent him on. He wanted to stumble on his feet just to make it feel more real, but he was rooted on the ground, completely still.

Then, lightning struck the two chairs and when the smoke cleared, Deceit and Patton were staring at him,

their eyes crossed out in yellow, drawn-on dashes.

“SING.”

Roman felt himself reel back at Patton’s voice, and a piano– out of sight, out of mind– began to play. The moral side had leaned over the table and slammed his fists into its surface, dark cracks in the wood blossoming from the contact. The noise was so loud, yet useless in muffling the haunted ivory keys, which played a hollow echo of Roman’s favourite audition song.

Fuck.

Deceit said nothing, but he did smile at Roman in that kind– no, deceitful way he always did.

Did Deceit always have that line near his lip?

Roman shook his head. Forget Deceit. This audition wasn’t what he wanted. This was Thomas’ dream. This is what they had to choose. Mary Lee and Lee would surely understand, and so would Patton. He was selfless all the time, he deserved this. Deceit was right.

In fact, Patton, in a fabricated moment of clarity, could possibly understand that now. Perhaps his command was actually encouragement; encouragement Roman missed oh-so much.

Roman cleared his throat, straightening himself up. He could suddenly feel the ghost of Thomas mirror his movement in a lag.

The role didn’t even need Thomas to sing, but Roman did as he was told anyway. Maybe he had to play along to hold this decision in his hands and save everyone.

He smiled bravely.

“When you come home to me, I’ll wear a sweeter smile, and hope that for a while you’ll–”

“FAIL.”

Roman blinked. But he was perfectly in tune with–

“FAIL!” Patton screamed at him again, lunging forward over the table, which split in two. The sound of the piano above them began to eerily croak.

“Patton, I–”

“YOU FAILED!” Patton pointed at him as the accusation slipped his lips. Yellow poison leaked from the corners of his snarl and the piano went out of tune into a mess of sharps and flats.

Deceit sat still.

“DISHONOURABLE.” “WRONG.”

The words suddenly began to layer over each other in what felt like an infinite descending tone.

“YOU SIDED WITH THE VILLAIN AND–”

“HOW COULD YOU LET HIM GET AWAY WITH–” “WHAT KIND OF HERO–”

Roman finally tore his feet from the ground in shock. When he looked down at what initially bounded him, he saw yellow snapdragons coated with blood from his ankles, which was now pierced with thorns. The red and the yellow was so sharp– too sharp– in the midst of the black and white of the audition room.

On the broken piles of flowers he stepped away from laid the ghost of Thomas; on his knees and shaking.

“–FAILS?”

He felt tears slip down his cheeks and freeze into sharp crystals digging into his skin. In front of him was a broken dream, a broken man, the wrong choice–

And in the corner of his eye, Roman watched as Deceit grinned; the line extending his smile cracking.

Out through the cracks leaked blood.

––

“i was shown a few things I'd been getting wrong she told me i’m a good man and have been all along

by the way I heard her say, ‘there’s no such thing as time it’s all a figment of your mind’."

––

Roman’s scream ended when he was flipped upside down, now standing at an altar with a bouquet of yellow carnations.

The tears from the audition room were no longer piercing his skin, but they lingered as static in the form of a sticky residue. He was very certain that he was going to kill Virgil once he got home. This black and white world was somehow too bright, too daunting.

And he left him alone in it.

Roman focused his vision on the new sight in front of him, holding his bouquet tightly like some kind of chilling reminder.

A bride and a groom were walking away from the altar, their backs facing him. People were in the crowd, throwing the same yellow carnations into the air. It was a happy sight, despite the monochrome tinge. Violins sang brightly in what felt like the perfect photograph.

Perhaps this was the choice Virgil was talking about; the one he’d leave with; the one he really wanted. Yes, he could want this. Maybe he even needed this.

Because at the end of the aisle was Patton, black and white with a sharp grin.

Another layer of violins was placed on top of the pre-existing ones.

“kiddo, i’m so proud of you!”

Roman’s breath hitched, holding the bouquet tighter. Mary Lee and Lee were already gone, yet everyone kept throwing their flowers.

“you’re so good. so good.”

“my hero.”

Roman broke into a wide grin. This decision felt so close. Patton’s voice felt like a rush of summer air in the midst of a cold, winter night. The words felt like they were close– so close– to carrying Roman on his back closer towards this decision; like they were already spinning the hands of the clock back and–

Patton suddenly became blurry in his vision, and a green figure appeared beside him,

holding a dead Thomas by the neck.

Shit.

A familiar cackle cut through the illusionary Shepard tone created by the violins, which once played a sickly sweet melody in his ears. Roman looked at Remus, horrified, and then at Thomas.

Thomas was wearing his wedding outfit — Roman recognized it because he helped choose it, of course. And it was beautiful.

But at its seams were falling ashes; crispy burnt ends to such a beautiful suit.

And Thomas was white as a sheet, slowly crackling away in embers where he hung.

Remus’ grin was made of bloodied pearls, his white streak cracking and spreading in patches to other parts of his hair. He threw the Thomas corpse– was he really dead?– onto the ground and pulled back his morning star by both hands, ready to strike–

Then Patton stepped between Remus and Thomas, holding his hands over his face to catch the spikes of the morning star before it could finish its swing down. The violins shrieked with Patton and Roman watched as his hands began to bleed upon contact. The flowers were still being thrown, as if to celebrate this horrible victory.

Patton, struggling against Remus' persistent force, let out a heartbreaking sob.

“...how are we still being hurt?”

“why is he getting worse?”

“he shouldn’t be here, thomas is good–”

“–because you chose this –”

Roman’s heart broke when Patton stiffly met his eyes.

“what more are you going to do to stop this?”

Roman started to run towards the horrid sight, almost against his will. The violins hung above him, the chords pulling him back by his wrists, still attached to the bouquet of yellow carnations.

And he was screaming; screaming Patton’s name and crying as the petals of all the flying flowers slashed sharply at his face. The aisle seemed to make itself infinite, as of stringing Roman along on a treadmill moving too fast.

He could see the outline of Remus amidst the slowly-paling flower flurry; bright green with a thick red puddle pooling around his feet. He saw the outline of his grin, blood dripping from each tooth.

Patton’s voice was barely a whisper, yet was loud enough for it to echo all around Roman’s head.

“you’re not doing enough.”

“he has to be stopped.”

“stop this, hero, stop–”

And when Roman finally reached the end of the aisle, Thomas was nothing but ashes on the floor.

Patton stepped towards Roman, who slowly backed away. No no no no no–

Then, Patton grabbed the bouquet he was holding.

Roman gasped and looked down. Patton was bleeding red, palms cracked with scars and holes from Remus’ weapon.

He at least tried to save Thomas, Roman suddenly realized. What did I do?

Patton’s hand pierced the thorny stems of the carnations and his blood mixed with dripping green venom.

His tearful eyes met Roman’s.

“...what did you do?”

The air around Roman thinned. He looked over Patton’s shoulders and saw Remus, grinning and holding up his bloodied morning star.

It was on fire, and it caught onto the white cracks in his hair.

––

“waking with eyes closed from technicolor dreams crystal kaleidoscopes were singing blue and green

realer than real in front of me if only you could see what i could see”

––

Roman was fa(i/l)ling.

He was stuck in a spinning kaleidoscope; and circling him were shattered fragments of the horrible decision he made– the decisions he could make.

The memory of Deceit’s blood-soaked smile in the audition room.

The sight of Remus grinning with fire crackling embers in his hair.

The thought of Patton, glitching into two with his hands holding his head, being torn apart.

The view from below the towering gate (the lightning shattering the glassy sky)

and Virgil, standing in front of him with white cracks in his eyeshadow, pulling his hand back from Roman

to wrap himself in his old hoodie.

The violins had stopped and the piano had paused. What did this mean? Roman tried to hold himself around his feeble body — if he even had one right now.

No. He shuddered if he even could– no he was real. He was here, he was real, and he was failing.

Anxiety crawled through the cracks in his vision. He was straining his eyes trying to look at each fragment of his mistake. What did he need to do, what did he want to do, what was right, what was–

“This is what you wanted, isn’t it?”

NO! Anything but this, he wanted to plead. This wasn’t it, he was supposed to be good– he couldn’t fail– what has he done?!

Suddenly, each fragment snapped and cracked in front of him, the kaleidoscope shattering piece by piece.

And reflected in each broken shard was Roman.

Paranoia’s voice echoed in his ears:

“Then why did you leave with this?”

––

“i slowly found my body, color began to fade i heard a piano playing a knowing serenade

this world feels backwards to my open eyes ‘cause it's all a figment of my mind.”

––

“–atton, if you touch him, you run the risk of–”

“–ET ME GO! ROMAN! ROMAN, WAKE UP, PLE–”

“–fucking stupid, how could he be so–”

Roman gasped, feeling himself seize up and face darkness. His head suddenly ached and he rubbed the spot he hit as he heard a low grumble from his left.

“Roman!” Patton. Roman shuddered. Patton’s sobs made him want to keep his eyes closed even more. “Roman, open your eyes, you’re home.”

“Patton, you mustn’t alarm him.” That was Logan. “And Virgil, are you okay? See, this is why I told you not to stand so close...”

A part of him was reassured to hear logic return to him. The nightmare must be over then, right?

He blindly grabbed to his left, as if to apologize to the side he hit, and felt stitches crossing in small x’s on fabric. A sigh of relief; there was Virgil.

“What the hell were you thinking?” Virgil’s voice sounded so distant, yet so clear. “You could’ve gotten hurt, going there alone–”

“Now what did we say about alarming him.”

“Roman.” Patton’s voice stung the most, an echo of the hell he just fell through. “Roman, open your eyes. It’s me– it’s us.”

And so Roman obliged, like he always did with Patton.

…

When Roman opened his eyes, he saw that he was back in his room, lying on his bed, staring at a blurry, white ceiling. As he sat up, Patton’s sobs grew louder and Logan’s breath hitched.

Virgil stayed quiet.

“What is it?” he asked groggily. Patton dissolved into more tears. Roman watched as Logan, sliced in half by navy blue and grey shards, held Patton close.

“Guys?” he asked again. He looked at Virgil and frowned. Some patches were grey, why were they–

Roman gasped, pushing past his family and turning his back on their grief. He made his way to the mirror in the corner of his room, tearing the hair in front of his eyes aside.

And staring back at him in his cracked mirror were irises split in half.

Black and amber.

click here for a new and improved masterlist of all my writing if you’re interested ^v^

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dotzines · 5 years

Photo

Artist Spotlights!

🎤 J.Kim 🥁 Jack Jones-Tella 🎷 Jackal

🎺 jenny peng 🎸 Kamon 🎻 Karen

Interview below the cut!

Introduce yourself

🎤 Hi! I'm an animation/illustration major with an interest in LGBT asian history/ historical fiction ^^ I'm @jkimdraws on instagram, twitter, and tumblr! 🥁 I'm a 21-year-old agender artist from Nigeria. I like rugby, horror and playing fun survival games. I can wiggle both my ears by just thinking about it. I make both digital and traditional art, but I prefer traditional because of the feeling in my hand.My twitter: https://twitter.com/bi_jackass My insta: https://www.instagram.com/abami.eda/ My tumblr: https://jack-of-all-bullshit.tumblr.com/ My website: https://sites.google.com/view/jackjonesnga/home 🎷 I’m an animation major based in Australia, focusing more on illustration, character design, storyboarding, and animatics! I’m super into cryptids, paranormal events, and ethereal entities, as well as the joys of space and the great beyond. I’m currently super into a few musicals, as well as Good Omens, Pokemon, Animal Crossing, and Dungeons and Dragons, and like to dabble in writing in the wee hours of the morning when I should be asleep.I’m also on pretty much every social media so there’s no escaping! JK, but you can find my usernames below Instagram: paranormaljackal Twitter: paranrmljackal Tumblr: paranormaljackal 🎺 Jenny Peng is a New York City based designer and illustrator. Graduated from Fashion Institute of Technology in Illustration, she spends her time designing characters and the worlds that they live in. 🎻 Hello! My name's Karen and I'm a mexican concept art student that loves CCS and Naruto.

Do you do commissions post? Where can we find the info?

🎤 https://www.instagram.com/p/B4-decoAyp_/ 🎷 https://sites.google.com/view/paranormal-jackal/commission-info

Do you listen to music (or tv shows/films/anything else) when drawing?

🥁 I watch Game Grumps videos sometimes and listen to horror podcasts like The Magnus Archives. For music choices, I bounce around between Owl City, Fela Kuti, Dead Kennedys, Asha, Queen, Green Day, P!ATD, Brockhampton and Fall Out boy. So a majority of rock/rap/electronic stuff 🎷 I have about fifty different character playlists that I cycle through, as well as Game Grumps compilations as background noise. 🎺 I'm always listening to music when I'm working on a creative piece. I find it motivating and helps me put more "soul" in my pictures. 🎻 Yes! I've been listening to the Black Eyed Peas latest record a lot as well as my favorite telenovela, Bety La Fea. I also listen to one of my favorite movies, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, a lot and Arrested Development.

What’s your favorite music artist/band? If you could ask your favorite band/music artist one question, what would it be?

🎤 Probably Tatsuro Yamashita! 🥁 My current favorite is Jello Biafra of the Dead Kennedys/Guantanomo School of Medicine and if I could ask him one question it would be "How do you write your songs in such a simple but powerful way?" 🎷 I really love Queen, especially since the CD would always be on repeat when I was a kid growing up. I think if I could ever ask them a question, I think it would be where the inspiration from their songs all sparked from, what the underlying backstory or meaning behind them were. 🎺 It's always changing so its hard to say. Currently it's Brockbeats 🎻 My favorite band would be Last Dinosaurs, I really like the soft and dance sound they've got. I'm not much of a music fangirl so I wouldn't know what to ask lol

Do you play an instrument? If not would you like to play one? Which one?

🎤 Nope! 🥁 I can play the guitar and currently trying to figure out playing the drums 🎷 Like a lot of folks, I was forced to learn the infernal recorder that parents always regret. However, I would love to learn how to play the piano! 🎺 I don't anymore but I used to play the piano and would love to pick it up again. 🎻 No ): I've always wanted to play the violin but never got to take classes.

Which song(s) are you going to draw?

🎤 159cm by Tenny 🥁 "Bullet With Butterfly Wings - Smashing Pumpkins Coming Clean - Green Day" 🎷 I’m going to be drawing Angel of Small Death and the Codeine Scene by Hozier, as well as Spring and a Storm (Demo) by Tally Hall 🎺 I'm mostly into Alternative. 🎻 Running Up that Hill- Kate Bush

What do you expect from this zine?

🎤 I hope to be able to find some new tunes to listen to and follow some more cool artists! 🥁 To make some friends, make good art and have fun 🎷 I expect to push myself into finishing a larger piece than I have in the past, whilst also challenging myself to try new methods and improve in areas. 🎺 I'm usually creating artwork with music in the background. It's a good change of pace to draw music, one of my muses, actually paying attention to the sounds and lyrics and making something out of it. The background becomes the foreground, and I'm excited to see what I'll create with that in my mind. 🎻 I'm really excited to see the different interpretations of songs. I tend to be very literal so abstract interpretations baffle me!

Anything else you want to add?

🎷 Have fun out there, and stay hydrated!!

#J.Kim #Jack Jones-Tella #Jackal #jenny peng #Kamon #Karen #artist spotlight #loop #loop artists

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bubblellop · 5 years

Note

*has a gun* Tell me about the songs you associate with your characters or else. I need to know. Give me all the music. Also you're legal obligated to mention a Lemon Demon song sorry I don't make the rules.

As i said, ill give u a deal and have them ALL be lemon demon music, because i hate myself. Also because i cannot choose 1 song that fits my oc out of my whole playlists (yes. I have playlists for each of my ocs.) Oh and as a fun fact, that post a while ago where i talked about "a terrible art idea" was me doing 6 different drawings using lyrics from different spirit phone songs to each of my ocs, it had palettes and everything but id figure no one would wanna see that so i will probably never do it lol. So yes this has been planned from a long time ago and i am deeply ashamed of myself.

Anyway onto the songs lol

Also these r all from spirit phone cuz that album is a banger from start to finish.

Adalia

Im just starting to realize how fucking hard is going to be to explain these choices with this type of fuckin music. God damnit. Okay so the themes of themes of blind admiration and reviving the dead for selfish needs...actually goes well with her....i know this sounds crazy but just...trust me. Adalia has experience with reviving the dead akdoskxodvkxwhythefuckisthisathingohmygodbubbleareyouokay

Its the first song and im already going insane...great

Lilyana

This song is like, REALLY calm yet the lyrics are like...kinda sinister. Its just describes a cycle of DEATH. So yeah that fits lily well lol (you really need to trust me with all of these okay, this wasnt easy OKAY) also its the last song...adalia has the first song...hah aint that funny.

Oliver

This was one of the easier ones. Love song about a human and an alien??? Sign him the FUCK up. I dont even need to EXPLAIN this shit. Falling in love with a weird mysterious being from beyond the stars, the fear, the curiosity, the willingness to go with them anywhere even if you both might not fully understand eachother but still wanna be by eachothers side......yes.

Rhett

Asddfkg the machinery talk in here really vibes with Rhett okay. Theres more to it but, im tired and im just stalling my time for the BIG one thats coming. Also Rhett would totally listen to Lemon demon and that kinda scares me on its own.

Stephanie

We are really going off the fucking rails arent we. This is another that just...vibes with Stef i guess. The beat itself is like, really her style oKAY, ALSO THIS SONG IS GOOD LOL, SHE DESERVES IT. I am really running out of bullshit excuses huh.

Sophie

Ah fuCK FINALLY WE GOT HERE- THIS WAS THE ONLY ONE I CARED ABOUT ANYWAY. This one actually goes REALLY FUCKING WELL with Sophie, if i HAD to choose a single song for Soph, IT WOULD BE THIS ONE. 1. Sophie obviously has an interest in Adalia's species, to a creepy extent may i add. So yes it goes well with the theme of aliens!!! 2. The obsession of being heard, of being right, of being the one is exactly like her, she wants to be the one to find out and to be right about her theories, not to mention she's lowkey a narcisist so of course she wants to be recognized and special, to prove everyone who wronged her 3. This one is actually kind of spoilery, but the second verse of the song....specially the "youre the only person in the world who'd understand the meaning of this", i can reallly picture who she would be talking about and im just aksidofks. Yes. Oh and "im an expert, just like you" also goes well with the idea mentioned. And yeah alot of lines like "better to be laughed at than wrong" they all go really well...im sobbing.... This is one of those songs that i have like, an entire animatic in my head planned out till the very last part. Its been haunting me for so long okay.

Oh god this is finally over, it only took me...40 minutes to write. Fuck. I hate this.

Also hah u wish mobile had the extend cut option in these cases huh....fuck you im shoving this whole post into your eyeballs.

#ask #hawks-on-mars #long post #now if u excuse me...ill go die #i hope everyone is aware this was a scheme to talk about touchtone telephone and sophie.....#you have all been tricked #the rest is just FILLER #also hawk i can totally info dump you about touchtone telephone and soph cuz plea s e #only if u want...haha #please im be-

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dandelionpath · 5 years

Note

I’m not sure what to classify this as but like the closest I got to the astral travel I want to achieve was like 👌 (if you can’t see emojis it’s the pinch emoji) like I was meditating and I move starting with the tips of my fingers n toes while physically meditating, I Like was able to change my position astrally more drastically than usual and the voice in my head altered somewhat (like I mean one’s thinking voice lmao) to be more like what I presume the voice of my astral form would be? (1/?)

(2/?) it was pretty cool but like before I could do much else all my muscles like seized up or moved at the same time again and it like brought me back to step 0 >~(3/?) closer and closer and eventually be able to on my own that’d be pretty cool lmao. I’ve technically been able to astral travel before but not in the way I want to specifically, like I have a pocket universe thing where I keep my astral space and thoughtforms (I have one son thoughtform that I joke is basically Jesus cuz he’s like my manager for it and he’s great at his job lmao) and I go there to a beach near my original astral space sometimes to feel the sand and surroundings but it’s (4/?) kinda like I’m there but only remotely? Like it’s like a phantom presence of sorts I guess. I can only get little glimpses of surroundings when I do that rip :( sometimes I can sense and even visualize stuff better though and those times are great lmao but I haven’t yet been able to find what might determine any differences, it seems mostly random >~(5/5) if that would be okay. Thank you again for your help and stuff, and I like reading about your experiences in your posts! Thank you again for your help :D

FIRST OF ALL, I'M SO SORRY FOR TAKING SUCH A RIDICULOUSLY LONG TIME TO ANSWER YOU OML?????? I had a whole humongous answer written up and then my computer just chucked it out the window so I procrastinated a lot in writing it all up again aaagh I'm so sorry, that was the worst of me to do to you! Also had mental health stuff going on, but I definitely could have and should have answered you earlier, I am so so so sorry!!!So!! Here I am and let me try to help you as much as I can without writing an entire novel of an answer for you to read OOPs LOLlemme get all the jokes and oohs and aahs out of the way first dsdgsdfjkl: that sounds so cool and exciting omg!! that's such an interesting experience!! i'm glad u had that!! the astral voice is so wildly cool omg??? that's such an incredible experience!!!! god that's the worst feeling where you're finally getting somewhere and then your body just NOPES right out of it aaagh! YOUR JESUS THOUGHTFORM SON SDGDSFJKL I LOVE THAT

okay so first off (UPG and SPG): the pocket dimension ur describing sounds like a realm that's in between ur imagination and the astral. it's a bit of both. it's probably a realm that you created that's part of the astral that you've created. the astral is endless, and you can create new parts of it that aren't attached to anything else. so you've most likely created a little realm of your own that you can change around as you please (most likely using a bit of energy, otherwise that'd be just your imagination if you could move and make things instantly and without expending any energy). in these realms you can invite any spirits you want, and can have thoughtforms and everything there! sometimes realms like yours will eventually grow on their own and attach themselves to other realms, and that's why you still want to ward your space because spirits would be able to get in fairly easily if the realm attaches itself to another realm.in this pocket realm, you can control stuff (and controlling things uses energy) and it follows mostly your own rules i would assume. you can also create things (i always imagine it like minecraft when i'm working on pocket realms lol) but this uses energy as well. does that sound right?so, assuming that's what this is, I think the reason why you're only catching things in glimpses is just because either a) you need more practice, or b) that's just how you experience the astral. it could also be a bit of both of those reasons! personally, when I'm astral traveling, I don't often get full clear HD continuous vision. when i do get that, it's a huge energy drain and it also requires me to be super relaxed and of the right vibration at that time. aka it rarely happens and i actually don't prefer it because it takes way too much energy. it's not worth the energy drain for me! OKAY ANYWAYS LMAO: when i astral travel, i see it in only quick glimpses every few seconds. most of it is actually just me sensing what's going on. it's difficult to explain, but let me attempt to dgsfjkl: imagine that you're in your room and it's pitch black. you have a pretty good idea of where the furniture is, and so you can make your way around without bumping into too much. you know what's around you even though you can't see it. it's kind of like that, except things are moving and speaking and i've often never been there before. i hope that makes sense lmao ^^; (i'm actually considering making an animatic of what my astral travels look like, bc it's difficult to explain,,,, but that's a ton of work lmao) i actually feel a little bit like i'm there remotely, but also not?? i'm often still very much aware of my physical body, but the longer and more focused i am on the astral, then the less aware i become and my physical body kind of fades into the background.

one tip i have that's helped me is to feel your consciousness in your physical body, and then kind of shift that consciousness to your astral body. sometimes i just like... fling my consciousness/awareness over into the other body, and that works? idk, try it out!

so! for advice, i'd say: 1) keep practicing! 2) lower your expectations for yourself, you're not going to be able to see HD vision in the astral, that's just setting yourself up for failure and frustration! 3) work on talking to spirits some more in this plane! this will help with astral traveling because then you'll kind of know how your metaphysical senses feel when you're doing them right! you'll have a bit of a better idea of how it feels when what you're experiencing is "real" and therefore how it feels when it's fake/you're making stuff up. 4) if you want to, see if you can ask someone (spirit or human) to pull you into the astral! I've done this for a friend of mine, and it did help a bit! 5) and finally, and i think most importantly, remember that this takes practice and work and there won't usually be any immediate gratification. some people take weeks to learn to astral travel, others take months, and some can take years,,, if you practice and work at it regularly, though, i'm sure you'll get there!

i hope this doesn't get to you after you've got this all figured out (or maybe hopefully it does bc then you'll have progressed a bunch and that's awesome!)! i just hope this helps you in some way, at least even a tiny bit!! let me know!! i'll answer ur q waaaay faster if u send any other ones in, i promise lmao!!!

#comet answers #I feel so incredibly bad dude like... I should've answered this like two months ago..... that was so bad of me I hope u can forgive me!!!#astral travel #astral

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frankensteindotpdf · 7 years

Note

All of them

FUCK I KNEW YOU WERE GONNA DO THIS CRAP AHHH

Who’s your crush/squish?

I......tend to have a couple at a time (go unreciprocation whoop whoop) anyhoo the main one is this girl who is SUPER CUTE AND HAS THE CUTEST LAUGH AND IS LOWKEY EMO AND JUST BRILLIANT TBH and fun fact she’s the one who made me realise I’m bi! annnnd there’s a guy....who I just realised I have a crush on....like yesterday....and I’m dying a little

Who’s your fictional crush/squish?

Hahahahahahaha that talks like there’s one.....Remus obviously...Tonks....Dean Winchester...Jughead .....Rapunzel.....Duke Crocker from Haven (holy crap bro).....I used to have a crush on Klaus Baudelaire and also Yo-Yoji (shut up Carina)..... massive squish on Sherlock Holmes....and more I’m forgetting

Worst joke you’ve ever told?

Crap bro my life is full of stupid jokes I can’t choose one

Worst insult you’ve ever given?

Just really dumb ones, nothing specific

Got any weird kinks?

not any weird ones

How did you find out about sex?

No idea, probably like parents or sex ed classes? I don’t remember

Trashiest thing in your wardrobe?

Literally none? I mean I have trash like a billion HP t shirts but nothing revealing or anything

Worst Phobia?

Needles. I literally cry everytime.

Hentai or the real thing?

Ew neither thanks

Ever been arrested?

lol i never go outside no

What are you most selfish about?

This question is worded weird....uh my..sketchbooks? maybe? like I don’t really get the q but I never let anyone draw in my sketchbooks so ig that counts?

Who would you let die if given the chance to save them?

Myself

Who would you sacrifice yourself for?

Anyone

Something silly you believed as a kid?

Well I didn’t think “washcloth” was a real term, for some reason (I have literally no idea why) I thought it was just a word my family used but they were really called something else. I mean washcloth is so... on the nose

Weirdest/most embarassing thing you’ve drawn?

I once.....drew a picture....of my crush.....with a stupid nickname above it....and little hearts....and little pics of the stuff he liked.... UGH I CRINGE JUST THINKING ABOUT IT I WAS IN GRADE 2 DONT JUDGE ME

Controversial role models?

I can’t think of any?

Cringiest fandom you’ve been in?

for like A MONTH I was into... Justin Bieber.

Cringiest thing you’ve shipped?

Trans Gilderoy Lockhart and Snape

Ever had “an accident” in public?

I mean when I was real little I did once after school but like no one was there besides my family so it wasn’t a big deal

What helps you fall asleep?

Honestly watching Bob Ross. He’s just so soothing

What childish things do you still do?

I dunno man...Lots I just can’t think of anything specific

What’s your age?

A HEATHERS SONG AND THE YEAR A WIZARD COMES OF AGE

Grossest thing you’ve eaten?

Some people would say crickets (they tasted great though) I would personally say (not eating but) gargling salt water. I literally threw up. Thanks, father.

Honest opinion on religion?

I definitely like the idea and totally respect other’s beliefs, but I’m still working it out. I mean I know mine pretty darn well but the more I learn the more it just sounds really convienient idk

What does your laugh sound like?

From being told to shut up so much it’s changed a lot....It’s kinda squeaky but mostly silent? I’m a bit self concious about it tbh

How would you describe your smile?

stupid. it scrunches up my face all wrong and makes me look even fatter than I already do

Did you go through any regrettable phases?

“Liking” music everyone else liked to fit in

Ever dropped plans/projects and not said a word?

Not one-on-one stuff (though social anxiety makes me want to every time) but like I guess? nothing noteworthy

Intovert/Extrovert?

INTROVERT

Personality Type?

INFP

Ugliest thing in your wardrobe?

I have this nightgown that I never wear that looks like something out of an 1800s movie...floral pattern and all

Would you wear pajama’s in public?

If I was with friends who were

Weirdest thing that turned you on?

uhhhh I have no idea

Pineapples on pizza????

hecc yes

Do you use the XD emoticon?

Only in an ironic way

Do you have a dark sense of humour?

yup

Worst thing you ship?

Ms. Frizzle and Brendon Urie

Top or bottom?

Oh I cant believe I’m answering this on the internet gosh well from my personality I’d say...bottom

Top or bottom bunk?

Also bottom because I feel like I’ll fall off or break the top bunk

Pettiest thing you’ve cried over?

Dude I cry over everything...My sister said she’d rip one of my books

Pettiest thing you’ve gotten mad over?

Bro again like I usually get upset at myself rather than mad at other people but like at my family basically everything?

Longest time you’ve cried?

lol well multiple times I’ve cried for a few hours straight, I cried through an entire movie once (I’m not evenexaggerating I had to pause it because I was sobbing too hard literally 5 times)

Do you touch the art in museums?

NO THAT CAN WRECK IT AND I COULD GET IN TROUBLE

Do you have a fandom OC?

Kinda? I mean just self-inserts tbh

How much do you believe in astrology?

not at all

Have you ever used a base for drawing?

I mean I’ve copied them down but not traced

Have you ever used MSPaint for drawing non-ironically?

yup. there was a time when I had a laptop and sucked at drawing so when I got bored I’d draw on MSPaint

Controversial opinion?

I’m a feminist and I think everyone should be

Ass or chest?

I hate answering this I’m just gonna do it quickly and get it over with female ass, male chest

Chest or genitals?

chest

Genitals or ass?

I HATE THESE I HAVE NO IDEA OK

Any scars?

Yup. I have one on my arm from burning myself while baking in grade 8, and two others on the inside (of the same arm haha) that are from somehow managing to hit my arm off a staple sticking out of an old recliner

Do you pirate anything?

Only music for animatics, but even then only songs I’ve already bought but cant transfer. I don’t see the point. The artists I like I don’t just like for their music (or movies or whatever), I like them as people too. I want to thank them for making such awesome stuff, so a little donation is totally reasonable to me

url for an old cringy social media account?

I mean this one? I wasnt allowed to have social media when I was younger so yay none of that

Any post’s you’ve deleted and why?

Only ones I accidentally reblogged onto my art blog, but I always reblog them onto my main first

How long does it take you to get up in the morning?

depends. if I have nothing to do, hours. If I have school, anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour (I set my alarm real early)

What will instantly turn you on?

idk man nothing really...someone being good with kids is always sweet tho

Fave eye+hair colour combination?

Nothing specific, I like basically all colours?

Have you already named your future children?

If I have any they will be named after someone in one of my billions of fandoms (probably someone from hp)

Do you do drugs?

Just Ibuprofen amirite lol even then I am in pain way more than I take it I hate swallowing pills

How tall are you?

about 5′5 or 5′6

Did you go through a “RANDOM XD” phase?

yup

Dumbest thing you believed?

No idea, probably something from when I was little but idk

Dildo of choice? (besides an actual dildo)

boi i’m not even coming near this question (get it?)

Daddy kink?

I mean I find it hot when some people say it? but not really

Who could change your sexuality just by looking at you?

I’m...bi....so like.....no one? I’m confused mate there’s no way to answer this question

Bara/Yaoi/Shota?

none tbh i dont even know what 2/3 of those mean

What area’s of your body are most sensitive?

besides the obvious my knees, stomach, back, neck....okay everything I just hate people touching me thanks oh and my feet oh gosh I got a pedicure once and it was the worst experience of my life

Weirdest dream you’ve had?

A bunch man, once I had a dream where Peeta was transformed by the Capitol or smth to look like one of my friends and he was also heavily drugged and at my school for some reason and I was trying to help him get to safety....I had a dream where my family and I lived in a trailer park and our neighbour had a big dog that attacked my little brother, first by biting and then picking up a stick with its paws and beating him with it....one where my friend tried to touch my stomach and i panicked, punched him in the face, and then had a panic attack because I felt so bad

THANK GOSH THAT’S OVER

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