#i never felt i was ugly
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truly being the less attractive person in your friend group and the second choice in everything really changes your perspective of life forever 🧍♀️
#having realizations at 3pm but truly like .#i never felt i was ugly#i don't think i remember a time where i hate my appearance#or anything like that#but it was so obvious to me i was like considered the less attractive one#bc everyone was friends in the past with had such a confident aura#and some of them checked all the typical beauty standards boxes#and i didn't so it was so obvious that it would happen every time dkjgkd#i even had this guy tell all the three girls in group they were pretty but then#it got to me and he said i was 'okay' but i know for a fact#he didn't find me pretty so i was just there like 🧍♀️ ahm .#KDJFGKD#so yeah tmi i guess .....#girls that were always the last choice in everything make some noise#tris.txt
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Angela Orosco Silent Hill 2
#in anticipation of the incoming remake#i tried my best to imitate the SH font but#silent hill#silent hill 2#angela#angela orosco#theme of laura (reprise)#i've said it before but in spite of its occasionally clunky diction i think silent hill 2 is an unusually emotionally intelligent game#for any year and still today but especially so for where gaming storytelling was in 2001#and for as many pitfalls a story like hers could've dipped into i think it particularly shines through with how they treated angela#not just choosing to depict victimhood as something that can be ugly and fractious and open quote “difficult” but then this#actively rebuffing james for trying to be a white knight and dressing him down for it too#“i know you mean well and want to help but this isn't a simple problem"#“and it's really hurtful and a bit insulting that you act like you can”#the switching to a first person view turning it into an address to the player as well#maybe even old videogame tropes too#“this isn't some princess in a castle kind of situation dude this is more serious than that”#it felt like a very deliberate statement about the depth and severity of a trauma like this#and in doing so showing it so much respect#there is no quick easy solution to this and you won't get one#then angela just leaves#and you never see her again#i really don't think it was to imply that it consumed her i think it was to underline what was just said#this isn't your problem to fix#this is where your part in this story ends#there's some strength in that
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help girl i’m stuck spying on idiots with idiots
#what if i put my oc in hit game twisted wonderland.#what then.#well nothing good probably#i would’ve finished this yesterday#if i hadn’t caught that crazy cold#that shit was insane i never felt like that before#artwork#digital art#drawing#artists on tumblr#twisted wonderland#twst#twst oc#twst yuu#yuusona#neither a yuu or a sona me thinks#twst x yuu#epel felmier#ace trappola#deuce spade#jack howl#barely#sebek zigvolt#ortho shroud#twst grim#my ugly son#twst x reader#twst fanart#my art#oc: yennie 🌺
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Strife
Personal project for the most talented
@imagine-darksiders
(if y’all like to read the most wholesome and thought provoking stories PLEASE for the love of pizza, I HIGHLY recommend reading her stuff)
I hope I did him justice because I honestly believe that we would be the best of friends. Very much would like to give him a hug 🫂🧡
#just being jayus#doing this ugly and scared#darksiders strife#darksiders#darksiders art#i’ve never even played darksiders#But imagine-Darksiders fanart and fanfics are so riveting I now consider myself a fan#It’s just that good#traditional art#traditional drawing#traditional sketch#it felt good to get my hands dirty with charcoal again#Sometimes I get frustrated because I feel like can’t draw things that are cute and fluffy#So I try to refugee my thought process and be like ok what CAN I draw#And I’m like I can draw epic stuff with good shading and detail#THAT I can do#It’s good to remind myself that we all have talents in different ways and that all are special and needed even if it’s not what we want#I’m grateful for my hands and the years and experience that it has taken me to be able get this far#It’s a good day y’all#I’m grateful to be able to create#Also process pics because the final result is rarely my favorite but here we are
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dude nightheart and sunbeams entire relationship is so funny. if I felt like digging through other books id make a compilation of these moments. No, Nightheart will not be by Sunbeams side to help her through the invasion of ShadowClan. Nightheart will almost get violently executed in RiverClan, and Sunbeam will only show up after the problem resolved itself (off screen). Sunbeam doesn't even feel like grieving with him around.
this entire arc, every major problem required them to ~sadly~ separate, and then reconvene for some generic niceties after its all over. I really thought, at bare minimum, the reason that kept happening was going to accumulate in them doing SOMETHING major together in the climax of this final book, like, 'something something our relationship can survive all the plot inconveniences that kept us apart bc this event proves why we're stronger as a team blablabla'
but no girl, their asses are NOT stronger together, they are not supporting each other through anything, they are not working together to accomplish a single goal. right to the end, every one of their greatest physical/emotional trials must be done separate
like. like it's incredible. the most go girl give us nothing relationship development of all time. i cant even find it in me to be mad. they are so lame it loops around into comedy. is this a prank why did they write it like this help
#warrior cats#a starless clan#a starless clan star#wc star spoilers#wc star#uhh are we still tagging spoilers idk w/e#wc criticism#yarrow speaks#if this was any other series id say this was obviously working towards an amicable break up#not even a 'i hope they get an ugly divorce' situation like i usually feel about ships i dont like. they are too nothing for those emotions#its just. nightsun has been so weird since it started it has felt so FAKE from both ends#I have never been more in support of a 'this is a comp-het situation on one or both ends' headcanon because wowzers#they have negative levels of chemistry#i cant beleive i'm saying it but these two make rootbristle look believable by comparison#we might be landing new records in no-effort romance writing. stellar work everyone 10/10#nightheart at the end of the book is like 'hehe you find me funny? give an example'#and she cant even give him an example she just dodges the question
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It is truly fascinating how the common tumblr narrative around John and Paul somehow makes the guy who literally got violent multiple times over people insinuating he was queer appear more "on board with the whole gay thing" than the guy who said some awkward/dated stuff in interviews a couple of times.
#im not trying to defend paul here btw. or tear down john#i just find the reading of john as like the Self-Accepting King between them.... myopic#i mean. it touches on the whole Was It Reciprocated Thing really#the idea being: If We Assume Paul Reciprocated He Is MORE Repressed Than John Because John Hinted More Heavily That He Wasn't Straight#but like..#that's Exactly why some of us think.... maybe Paul IS straight 😭😭 or at least it's not nearly as big of a deal to him than it was to John#(perhaps because he's bi but treats it more casually than John ever felt capable of)#any reading of John and sexuality that concludes something LESS fraught than Paul's mostly benign slight weirdness/curiosity#seems to me.... like McLennon tunnel vision#like because John never gay panic attacked PAUL all that ugly stuff he did can be set aside.#also. look at the way people think about India#and the Get Back convo about it. it's all like JOHN'S NOT IN DENIAL. HE WAS CLEAR. HE WANTED IT. HE WAS ALL IN.#Was He?#anyways. i am becoming chatty these days.#as always people are welcome to discuss this with me even if we disagree#fiona.docx#jp speculation#discourse
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Was bored and rereading TPiaG as I sometimes do
And I read a line about the librarian Swadloon in Verdant village having a crush on Kip, and since I don't Think you have any art of that yet, it was too enticing for me to not ask you to please draw something of them. Please?
You’re right that I haven’t drawn anything of her! Everybody meet Elwood! :>
#Elwood is several years older than Kip and thinks she doesn’t have a shot with him as a result.#she was the ugly duckling growing up and has internalized a lot of that perceived undesirableness.#Kip always thought she was super kind AND pretty whenever he stopped by the library. he really liked talking to her.#she’s never expressed interest to Kip in going on a date sometime— and Kip always felt weird about asking her out himself.#I could see her getting visibly disappointed when Twig comes by the library without him and bashfully explaining to Twig why when asked#after which Twig is sending Kip the world’s fastest letter in postage history#(she asked Ark to pretty please get her letter to Kip asap and Ark needed no further convincing to speed across the countryside with it)#the present is a gift au#pmd ocs#pmd oc#pokémon mystery dungeon#pokemon mystery dungeon#pmd explorers of sky#pmd explorers#pmd eos#pmd sky#pmd2#pmd#stuff by sofie#sofie answers asks#queued
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Uhmmmmm ok. Good night. Frowns.
#guys strive did something so dastardly to me with slayers arcade route.#diet dr pepper#tw ugly#slayer#I cant even put it into words easily just zatos need for affermation and validation and sympathy from Slayer of all people.#his fear of abandonment because he felt absndoned By him the fear he pushed onto the people he groomed to never leave him.#its so mu h.#goddd THATS HIS DADDDDD
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I'm not a writer but i had this thought so- bear with me, yeah?
For months Eddie hears all about how cool and badass Steve Harrington is, yeah, but you know what he also hears about? How Steve and Robin are made for each other and how cool and pretty Robin is and how stupid it is that they're not a couple for some dumb reason, like Steve not wanting to be with a band geek and still clinging to high school hierarchy. And in all of the things Dustin says about Steeeve Harrington, that last part is the only thing that fits into the Munson Doctrine, so obviously everything else Henderson is saying is what's skewed in his little shrimp world view.
Steve Harrington thinks he's better than a band geek and that's why we won't look twice at a girl that would be perfect for him (according to Dustin Henderson, so... still questionably trustworthy information). Eddie probably assumes Dustin is talking up how close Steve and Robin actually are, just how he's exaggerating how close Dustin himself is to Harrington (like that would impress Eddie and the rest of Hellfire??? He really doesn't know how to get through to the little sheep that his worship of Hawkins' most notorious square is a detriment to his character and not something Eddie would find impressive. If it was real. Which it obviously isn't. Anyway-)
Turns out? Steve Harrington? Actually a cool dude. Not cool as in popular but cool as in "holy shit did he just bite that thing's head off???? Oh and he's not even gonna brag about that, it's just nbd, yeah sure, cool cool cool be fucking cool Eddie, oh god he's talking to me why is he talking to me" and just, chill to hang out with. After the whole shit show went down. Who would have fucking thought, huh? (except for Dustin Henderson, yeah yeah yeah, shut up)
So now Eddie has to reevaluate some other assumptions he made. Maybe Dustin was right and Steve actually is cool and badass, and he and Buckley actually are as close as he had said (and they really fucking are! He has seen them give Keith eerily matching bitchy looks for trying to schedule them on opposing shifts and basically bully the guy into changing the schedule around so they can spend as much time as possible in each other's presence. It's enough to make a guy question his own friendships when sometimes a few hours of band practice are enough to make him want to never see any of those chucklefucks again. Of course, that feeling abates but seriously, how are those two never sick of each other??)
So if they're as close as advertised but not a couple (and after meeting everyone Steve cares about and they're basically all nerds so the "Harrington thinks he's too good for a band geek" thing can't actually hold true-) what is the hold-up? Why aren't they a couple? And somehow, somehow Eddie comes to the conclusion that Steve is in love with Robin. Steve is a serial romantic (emphasis on romantic) and while his love life isn't the talk of the town post-earthquakes as it would have been before, people do still talk about the fact that he hasn't taken out a girl since it happened.
Which brings us to a day in summer, maybe fall, after Eddie has seen Steve look wistfully at a young couple with a baby, that he shows up at Robin's door step.
"Eddie? Hey what's up?"
"Good, good, how are you? Uhh can I... can I come in?" There's a nervous energy around him that is immediately infectious and she leads him to the living room where he immediately starts walking back and forth in front of the couch. She watches him for a moment, hands fluttering through different motions trying to find one that might calm him down before giving up on that. Instead Robin swerves around him, clambering onto the couch and wrapping her arms around her right leg, putting her head on her knee. She follows Eddie's path with her eyes and decides to wait before quickly realizing that she can't, actually.
"As riveting as it is watching you walk a groove into my parents' rug, do you maybe want to say something? I mean I can definitely talk enough for the both if us if that's what you want it's just that I have the slight suspicion you've got something you need to get off your chest" Eddie stopped walking halfway through her monologue and starts nodding.
"Yeah. Yeah yeah yes you're right it's just- I haven't a hundred percent made up my mind about saying something", Eddie has one arm wrapped around himself and uses the other to alternately play with his hair and gesticulate at her, "because on the one hand it's a little bit driving me crazy, maybe, but on the other hand this is none of my fucking business" And Robin who was worried at first just because Eddie is nervous, then for a second because she was scared he was going to confess to a very ill-advised crush on her, is stumped. What the fuck is this about and why did it bring him to her of all people?
"Just say it you weirdo", is what decides to comes out of her mouth but it doesn't even matter because half of her sentence is layered with his "Are you aware Steve is in love with you?"
[here we're facing the issue of me not actually being a writer and pretty much running out of steam but we also haven't reached the part that sparked this whole thing yet, which is wild - let's just pretend I wrote a very funny dialogue between those two in which Eddie confronts Robin for stringing poor Steve along ]
There's a moment when they're both silent and there's a moment when they're both talking and then there are steps coming down the stairs. They make a smirk grow on Robin's face that is starting to worry Eddie when not a parental figure but Steve Harrington steps through the doorway. He's wearing sweatpants and a shirt that might be Robin's and there's a headband pushing his hair away from his face.
"Don't yell at me for coming downstairs, you took forever and the first layer... is... dry....", he stops in his tracks the moment he looks up from his bare toes and sees Eddie. Then he very quickly rips off the headband and slings it somewhere to his right into the unknown of the hallway.
"Hi Eddie. What's... up" Eddie is going to sink into the floor and never come up for air again.
In the meantime Robin stood up on the couch to sit cross-legged on the back of it for a better vantage point and is steepling her fingers in front of her face. Eddie is getting the distinct impression he's missing some crucial information here.
"Stevie, babe, platonic love of my life-", Steve nods for her to go on, "you know how we decided I get a veto on your romantic life because we realized droves of suboptimal dates actually make you miserable so we're going for quality over quanity for the first time in your small-town Casanova life?" Steve has that cute little crease between his eyebrows while he's looking back and forth between Eddie and Robin, trying to figure out what's going on but he rolls his eyes at the end of her sentence, back in familiar territory. "Yes, Robin-"
She interrupts: "And you know how I also reserved the right to give a shovel slash molotov cocktail talk to anyone we deemed worthy of being a potential future partner?" Steve's face somehow shows an emotion that can only be encapsulated by "?!" as he glances to Eddie before shifting back to Robin with just the "?" remaining.
"First I have to say I'm personally very pro, I loved this experience; Eddie here really made a fool of himself, very worried for your delicate sensibilities and how I'm breaking your sweet little heart." "...what...?"
"So: what's the verdict on a potential future partner giving me the shovel talk?"
#Robin had painted 7 of Steve toes when Eddie rang the doorbell btw#they're a dark blue because Steve didn't want to jump into the deep end with too feminine a color#but black felt too edgy#but while they were drying and on the way down he kept looking at them and thinking#''i don't think this is my color... maybe a light blue? no too baby boy. yellow? nah that's ugly. orange? wait maybe with a stripe?#can nails be striped...?'' so when he arrived downstairs he was starting to worry he had never looked at a girl's nails because he didn't#know and whether that was sexist somehow#he had to shift gears very quickly when he arrived downstairs is what i'm saying#anyway i cannot stress enough how much i am not a writer#but the thing with the reverse shovel talk came to me and it wanted out#platonic stobin#steddie fic#steddie#hey i'm talkin' here#robin buckley#steve harrington#eddie munson#not beta read#top posts
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I've finally realized why fem chuuya designs have never really felt right for me personally
I need to chop her hair off
#bungo stray dogs#bsd#chuuya nakahara#bsd chuuya#chuuya bsd#like for so long I just never really felt anything when I would look at people's designs for her#but now I know#I just need to give her regular chuuyas 15 haircut#also this post gave me a new appreciation for 15 chuuyas haircut#I thought it was ugly before but I've changed my mind#I'm sorry for being a little hater chuuya I take it all back#your haircut wasn't that bad#fem chuuya#also side note#it might also be the makeup#I just don't like it#and the skirts
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ok but can we talk about the transition from being the weird unattractive girl/boy as a kid to suddenly being percieved as a hot gay person bc that shit is so jarring. but also like really wholesome? like wow I don’t have to conform to cishet expectations of attractiveness and actually people find me really attractive for the natural way I look and present myself. that’s so wild.
#inspired by a convo with a friend today lol#but also like. I so distinctly remember having this realization when I was like 13!!!#bc while I never felt ugly I WAS the weird nerd girl who got bullied a fair bit#and then one day a little while after coming out as bi I was thinking and suddenly was like.#wait a minute. I’m gay and I like girls with short hair. gay girls like other girls with short hair. I have short dyed hair.#I AM the cute girl with short hair!! woah!!!!!!!#it just opens up your world a bit yknow??? like there’s not just one way to be attractive#and also judging yourself only by the standards of the average cishet man or woman’s taste can make you feel so undesirable#but the way queer people love is so much more varied and accepting and it’s so freeing#anyways. I love entering my ‘wait holy shit I can pull’ era.#like I always knew I had it in me and I’ve always been confident but now it’s validated lmaooo#I always knew I was pretty as hell!!! I knew it!!! even if boys pretended to like me in order to bully me!!!
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me when its casual 😅😅😅
#chappell roan#art#if i had someone to be uncasual with youd never hear the end of it#i was watching bottoms while drwaing this and the representation of loser lesbians was something i needed … i felt seen#like yes!! i too am ugly untalented and gay
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I woke up crying because I knew the boops would be gone when I awoke 😭
Actually it’s because I had a dream where my twin sister (who I hated) had died years ago, then I became a dancer with one of those celebrity lookalike/impersonator people, but she was pretending to be my sister instead of a celebrity and I wished my real twin sister was there to dance with me because I got along with the impersonator and would have loved to get along with my real twin sister as well.
I do not have a twin sister. I also hate dancing. It was a weird dream.
#I don’t remember most of the rest of the dream but I do remeber being forced to wear a pink cape by a lesbian couple#I refused to wear it because my bike was blue and they would look stupid together#but they insisted#also the bike people kept refusing to sell the bike to me for strange reasons#like one of the reasons was if I had painful periods i couldn’t ride that particular bike and needed a differnt one#but I was like ‘I can bear the pain anyway’ and fist bumped one of the lesbians on my way to grab the bike#everyone clapped#because I was so big and brave about potentially riding a bike with period cramps eventually#I think i alsp saw the inconceivable vastness of human life and the possibilities available to us#every choice I made altered my path in a visible way and I could see everything I was and everything I could have been and will be#it was ugly and crude#it felt hopeless and never ending#because it was#but I accepted it because it was impossible to unchoose a path once it was chosen and my only options were to accept or let it consume me#I could not choose if I wanted to participate or not#the only real choice I had was to give in or to choose my own path#and I decided to let lesbians buy me a bike and force me to wear a clashing cape#what does this mean about my psyche#dreams#my rambles
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I want long hair :( I think it'll be fun to have long hair :( But I don't think it'll be fun to grow out my hair :( And I don't think it'll suit me :(
#i had pretty long hair in may. maybe the longest ive ever had#and i had fun straightening and styling it and learning how all that worked#but it kind of just made me even more ugly :(#maybe it made me look even worse cuz it was just a grown-out baby hawk cut into a non-hawk shape by me#but i dont think long hair is for me and i hate that so much :(#okay well i hate my hair in general ive never had a hairstyle that i felt made me look good outside of the mullet in my ID photo#that ive never been able to replicate#just a little middle-of-the-night crisis dont mind me
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teehee
Happy birthday @shinechermont !
Here our girls hanging out because I thought it'd be fun uwu
Rose
thanks @ari-cuno for organizing that collab gift thingie!!!
#me doing artz#Vivid#Rose#aftermare shipkid#hey sweetie may your day be great#awesome even#I'm so proud of you#it's an honor to watch you grow#(and you will still grow regardless of what the law says ;3)#love you lots#you have a beautiful soul#can't believe the itty bitty baby I met years ago is leaving the kiddy room#aw my sappy sap isn't enough to my liking#oh I know#I think I said that often enough but never enough#you improved so much art-wise like it's crazy#don't get me wrong I still like your old stuff#but every once in a while I see an art of you on my dash and I take a second to think that wow#crazy it's the same person#I AM PICKING YOU UP AND SPINNING YOU#WE'RE DOING SPINNY#SPIN SPIN#you have no choice on the question#my arms are picking you up and you can't escape#that gif is sooooo rough but I felt I might get a bit shouted at for being unreasonable since I started this wednesday and believe me it wa#so tempting to go full on render and all but honestly I wouldn't have slept for several days and I thought you might hit me or something if#I pulled that again X'Dc#tho it was fun to allow myself to go rough and wing it so enjoy the ugly hug it was made with the heart#gift for AC
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#can I just. scream for a second#so as is news to no one#we need to start over the entire us medical system from scratch#also I would like to be flayed alive and start over from scratch in the skin department as well#anyway for context: I've had some kind of rash/acne/infection/irritation all over my legs for over a year now#have tried various products and changed habits and products to try and get rid of it to no avail#everyone said you should really just go to a dermatologist#(I was not that inclined to do so bc the previous and only time I'd seen a dermatologist it was not a good experience. very condescending#also I don't like making appointments and stuff. girl I don't have time)#but I decided to be an adult and go (my insurance info seemed to imply I could go with zero copay even)#spoilers: that was not the case#anyway so I show up and surprise surprise: it sucked#she was dismissive and condescending imo. was literally like 'well it could be A B or C but I can't tell'#'all of those are basically impossible to get rid of anyway but the things to try are X Y or Z'#I asked to try Z since X and Y are things that I already tried and did nothing (which I had told her!!!)#but she just kept being like 'you just need to stop picking at it. that's the real problem and that's what's exacerbating your scarring'#(wow thanks never thought of that!) (she also insinuated that my scarring was ugly)#girl I'm not 5 years old I understand.#unfortunately for me that is a compulsion so strong it would probably take years of directed therapy to get me to stop doing that#what I'm here to see you about is to figure out what the problem is and how to stop it from happening in the first place#and STOP TRYING TO MAKE IT A COSMETIC ISSUE#it's causing me pain and discomfort that's the main problem! I would like that to stop!! and me not touching it would not solve that proble#also I wanted to ask her about something else but they were too quick about it. felt very Handled if you know what I mean#but anyway#she gave me a prescription for topical antibiotic which was the thing I had not tried#apparently my insurance doesn't cover it and it's also made of gold and plutonium or something#so she gave me a coupon for it#but get this#when I went to pick it up at the pharmacy they didn't take the coupon#the guy said. 'um this only works for the generic brand. and we don't have the generic brand'
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