#i need to stop being obsessed with the sad gay ones

[azure-clockwork]

So we are one singular support cutscene into Edelgard’s route through Three Houses and holy shit, she’s gonna fuck me up so badly. As much as flirting with Dorothea would be fun and all, Christ the cross, the angst. She’s going right to the top of the ‘unhealthy obsession with traumatized women’ right below Harrowhark Nonagesimus. Does she beat Riza Hawkeye? Remains to be seen

…I may have a problem

[bbydoll18xx]

How Do I Get to Heaven?

'Without changing a piece of me, how do I get to heaven?'

Paige Bueckers x reader

Word Count: 1.8k

Themes: angst, slurs, religious trauma, HAPPY ENDING i promise

A/N: hiii so this one is super angsty and sad. I've been going through a rough time, and this is my way of coping. I kinda touched on these subjects in 'She's Such a Good Girl' part 2, and this is similar. I was obsessed with 'Heaven' by Troye Sivan when I was like 15-16 and the lyrics hit a little too hard. If you're gay and were raised in a religious household, I suggest taking a listen.

~

“He’s a fuckin’ faggot!”

“Hate the sin, love the sinner.”

“Those kinds of people are going straight to hell.”

Your face remained neutral. It had to. But you had years of practice, and while you were internally sobbing at the bigoted remarks, there was nothing you could do to stop it. So you stayed quiet, and you maintained your usual look of disinterest. 

Running up the stairs, you finally make it into the safehaven of your bedroom. You shut the door quietly, trying to avoid seeming as if anything is wrong or out of the ordinary. Nothing could possibly be wrong. You were the perfect child; straight As, never in trouble, and you always were eager to help out around the house. But you were harboring a dirty little secret that threatened to rip you from the grips of being the golden girl of your family. 

Sobs wracked your body as you slid onto the carpeted floor of your room. What had started off as an innocent dinner had turned into a nightmare. Slurs were thrown around casually, and unbeknownst to your family, you were the unidentified target. Your sexuality was the reason you had become an empty shell of a person, riddled with fear of accidentally outting yourself. And the anxieties you felt were bubbling up, threatening to ruin the perfect image of yourself that you had crafted for your loved ones. 

This wasn’t the first time. And it surely would not be the last. 

Your family had always claimed to love you. Your childhood was a happy one, but you feared the truth would break everyone. And even if they found out and still claimed to love you, you knew they would always see you differently. Gone would be the girl they knew, and their eager touts would be replaced with hushed whispers. You’d forever be known as “the gay one.” And you fucking resented that.

So here you sat on the floor, trying to quiet your sobs as you mourned the loss of the life you once knew and the people who would eventually turn their backs to you. 

Summer was ending, and soon you would be fleeing back to college, where your guard could be let down just enough to show the world a glimpse of who you really were and who you really wanted to love. 

There was just one girl who you wanted to love you back.

Paige Bueckers was your best friend. And she was so very gay. 

Since meeting her at the beginning of freshman year, she had pulled you out of a darkness that had resided in you since you had realized your feelings towards girls. It did not take long for you to fall madly, head-over-heels in love with her, but you had vowed to ignore it. 

Even if there was any hope of reciprocated feelings, you knew deep down that being in love with a girl would mean having to come out to your family. And you were just not ready for that. You weren’t sure if you would ever be ready for that. 

The thought terrified you. You knew you were willingly inhibiting a possibility of incredible happiness and love, but because it was at the risk of losing your loved ones, you were shutting it all out. 

‘Fuck. I really need therapy,’ you think miserably. 

That was the understatement of the century.

~

The new school year starts, and Uconn’s campus is ablaze with excited students and the possibilities of what is to come. You are finally starting to feel like yourself again, and the second your parents leave your apartment, you don a t-shirt plastered with Diana Taurasi’s face on it. 

You could finally get your gay card back.

A loud knock rings through the empty apartment, and before you could get to the door to answer it, Paige is peeking her head through it, a huge grin covering her face. 

She wastes no time barreling through the room, sweeping you up in a hug and spinning you around. Your feet leave the ground, causing your stomach to flip, and your legs automatically wrap around her waist for leverage. 

“Someone missed me,” you giggle, feeling breathless from being back in Paige’s tight embrace. You had been dreaming of this since you last saw her, back in July. 

“Course I did,” she chuckles, voice muffled against your hair. “You glad to be back?”

You groan. “Fuck, yeah I am. Lookin’ forward to not hearing some slurs for a bit,” you say, fist-pumping the air with a dramatic roll of the eyes. “And I’m especially looking forward to not having to listen to Fox fuckin’ News,” you add, pretending to gag.

Paige’s eyes rake over you, and she pouts, already knowing how your family could be. She had listened to your endless rants and your pathetic cries for the past three years. 

“I think you should just move in with me after this year ends. That way you don’t have to put up with that shit. Then we can be together after graduation,” she says earnestly. 

This was not the first time she had proposed this idea. And while you were internally jumping at the idea, the fear of how it would look to your family made you shy away. Paige wasn’t exactly the most straight-looking girl. Living with her would make things complicated. Your covert feelings had no place in a situation like that. 

You sigh. “I’ll think about it, P,” you promise, linking your pinky with hers, as you always did. 

~

Christmas break quickly rolls around, and Paige’s words are still playing in the back of your mind. Your feelings for her had grown, as if that was even possible, and having to leave her and the safety and warmth that came with her, was agonizing. 

Sitting against the hard back of the pew in your family’s Catholic church, you look around, thinking about how these people would be okay with you burning in hell forevermore. The familiar feeling of shame creeps back into your chest, the flames licking at your wounds. 

You wanted to run and hide. You wanted Paige. 

The Christmas activities persist, and amongst the holiday cheer and piles of gifts, uncomfortable conversations emerge, and you shrink back to your room, desperate for respite.

You felt so fucking abandoned. This was supposed to be a time to enjoy with your family, and instead you were hiding.

There was one person, though, you knew would not abandon you, and that was Paige. Her presence was enough to lessen the sting of the inevitable rejection of your family, and in that moment, it was enough. 

Pulling out your phone, you dial her number, longing to hear her voice, all the way from Montana. Christmas break could not end quickly enough. 

Paige’s smiling face is soon on your phone screen, but it falls as soon as she sees the tears falling down your cheeks and your wobbling bottom lip.

“Oh, baby, what happened?” She asks in a hushed whisper, voice full of anger and concern. 

“They hate me,” you cry. “They fucking hate me, and they don’t even know it yet.”

Paige sighs, trying to find the right words. While she had always had acceptance from those around her, she knew how difficult it was for you to be at home, and she desperately wished to take away your anguish. 

“I love you,” she stresses. “And I know that doesnt fix your family treating you like shit, but soon you’ll be back and everything won’t seem as shitty, I promise.” 

You nod, wiping at your eyes with the sleeve of your sweatshirt. 

She loved you. And you knew that. But you wanted her to love you in the way you loved her. For now, you would take what you could get.

“Just a few more days,” she assures, and you feel the tiniest bit better.

Just a few more days. 

~

The start of the new year always engenders change, and you had promised yourself as the clock chimed to signify it was midnight that this would be the year you would hike up your big girl panties and figure out your shit with Paige. Your senior year had to slow down, and Paige’s proposal had been in the back of your mind since August. 

If you could get over your stupid crush on her, things would be all good and dandy, but your efforts to eradicate her place in your heart were futile. You had mused it over nearly a million times. Maybe you’d eventually get over her, and maybe she would have some bizarre habit that would inevitably give you the ick, ridding you of all romantic feelings toward her. 

You could only hope. 

You pump yourself up on the way over to Paige’s apartment, encouraging words forming on your lips, leaving a trail of fog from your warm breath against the cold air. 

You knock on her door, cheeks pink from the frigid temperatures of Connecticut in January, grateful that it hides your blush. Paige opens the door, eyes wide and hopeful. She always looked so damn alluring. 

Your words leave your mouth before your chary mind could overtake you. “I want to move in with you after school ends. I can’t go back to living like that.”

Paige’s features twist into a smile, and she pulls you in for a hug. “Gonna take such good care of you,” she whispers, and you believe her. Your arms wrap around her middle, anchoring you to the floor. 

“I should probably tell you, though,” she trails, her voice getting smaller as she takes a deep breath. 

You look up at her, confusedly. “Tell me what?”

“I love you. And not just like as a friend. So if you don’t want to live with me because of that, I get it,” she mumbles, eyes trained on the floor.

Your breath quickens at the realization. Paige loved you. And the thought of being a colossal disappointment to your family and potentially cast out did not seem to matter as much anymore. Because here was someone who loved every part of you and accepted the good, the bad, and the ugly. 

The look of shock swiftly morphs into one of unbridled euphoria, and without another thought, you pull Paige in for a kiss. It was filled with the pure longing and want of years of uncontrollable urges and repressed thoughts, and it nearly made all the shittiness worth it.

Pulling away, Paige links her pinky with yours again, just as she had back in August. It was an unspoken promise of love. And while you knew the journey would be inexorably difficult, Paige was worth it in the end. 

~

dang that was rough lol but thanks for reading as always:) I really hope this wasn't too triggering or anything for anyone. This has been such a nice outlet for my pain and anger, as I really don't have anyone to talk to about this stuff. I am here for everyone who can relate. My inbox is open if you guys ever want/need to talk

xoxo katy

[shadowqueenjude]

Who pulls the most bitches?

So I saw someone do something like this and I kind of wanted to do my own version with sjm characters. They get no bitches (besides that one girl who's a sucker for losers): Tamlin, Hunt, Ithan, Declan (only bc he's gay not for lack of game; he pulls ALL the men), Tarquin They get more than none but less bitches than you'd expect: Fenrys (bc he's with Maeve, poor boyo), Tharion (bc he's stuck with the river queen's daughter, oof), Aedion, Mor (because she has to hide her sexuality, rip) Now let's rank the remaining: Rhysand: for the supposedly most powerful fae guy to ever exist, he gets a surprisingly low amount of bitches. Perhaps it is due to his creepy evil reputation and the hatred for him within his own court: turns out a pretty face a male does NOT make. Even gold-diggers have standards! Cassian: I turned this over in my mind many times, but I realized Cassian pulls less bitches than Azriel after the line "I don't need to resort to poetry." He gets plenty of bitches because he's a bigass dude with muscles, but his shitty poetry is a turn-off to most eligible ladies. Azriel: he doesn't need to resort to poetry; he's a pretty boy with a cut body, but points have to be deducted for lack of game and pining over Mor for 500 years and being obsessed with having a mate (yuck). Dorian Havilliard: Come on, guys! He's a hot prince! Of course, he gets all the bitches. He's a little immature but he grows out of it! I mean he pulled the fucking man-eater, for God's sake. Points deducted for falling for Celaena wayyyy too fast (and getting rejected) and for his healer girl getting decapitated (rip Sorscha). Rowan: we KNOW this guy gets aaaaaaaalllll the bitches. Come on, he's Rowan-rutting-Whitethorn! Points were deducted for the whole Lyria thing AND serving Maeve for so long. Lorcan Salvaterre: He gets even more bitches than Rowan because... "Battles, riches, females- Lorcan always won, at any cost." And it's even said Rowan often allowed him to win. So yeah, he pulls a lot of bitches and participates in crazy orgies with his homie Rowan. Points deducted for being Stockholmed by Maeve (poor Lolo). Ruhn Danaan: I mean we already know the man's got game (evidence: CC2 chapter 3 plus all ruhnlidia chapters). He's also a young (by Fae standards) prince who lives in a fucking frat-boy house. And that sad-boy thing he's got going on? Girls love that. Eat it up. All the bitches wanna sit on him to take away his sorrow. Points deducted for crushing on a lesbian (oops). Tristan Flynn: Man gets even more bitches than Ruhn because he's just hornier and he's obsessed with his hair. Also, did you see the fire sprites becoming his cheerleaders? King shit. Points deducted for failing to rizz up Ariadne. Eris Vanserra: Come on, he's an Autumn Court male. Plus he's a Vanserra! It's practically in his blood! Points deducted for being rejected by Mor and Nesta tho. Chaol Westfall: Man gets a shockingly high number of bitches despite being a human character who until Dorian became king had a pretty lowly position. I mean, there was a literal PRINCE and his cousin hanging out and the girls were all drooling over Chaol. When he had a disability (which unfortunately due to prejudices that exist, often make you "undesirable" in the eyes of many) and he rizzed all those women, including Yrene, harder than Kashin. EVERY. GIRL. CHOSE. CHAOL. OVER. A. LITERAL. PRINCE. Both in Adarlan AND the southern continent. You're telling me he doesn't have the rizz??? A half a point deducted for being too hung up over Celaena (I don't blame him but still). But still, he pulls sooooo many bitches. Lucien (Vanserra? Spell-Cleaver? Cunt-Server?): Come on. Is there anyone else fitting to be number 1???? Man's got EVERYTHING Chaol has, PLUS he's the son of a High Lord and he's got that Vanserra rizz. Fuck it, he wouldn't stop at bitches. He'll pull every mfer to ever exist. If it breathes, it's into Lucien Vanserra. He is THAT guy.

[gh0st-t0wn3]

Some Lmk ss edits + Headcanons (Traffic light trio)

- He/They

- Gay

- Only wears knock off brands (doesn't know they aren't real)

- Autumn is his favorite season, purely because he likes to stomp the crunchy leaves

- Adhd

- Has dimples

- Pigsy once got him rainbow shoes for pride month before he was even out but MK didn't realize they were pride shoes because the rainbow was on the sole

- Tried to cook breakfast for Pigsy and Tang on Father's day once, somehow lit the curtains on fire

- Wants Tattoos but keeps backing down because he doesn't like needles (will probably get one in the future though)

- Has a sketchbook fully dedicated to Redson, would literally die if someone ever found it

- Smells like oranges

- Only a few inches taller than Redson, always teases him for it

- Almost killed Sun Wukong once because he was disguised as a spider

- The Monkey's on flower fruit mountain always climb on him when he's around, he doesn't try to stop them

- Had to remove the snooze option on his alarm clock because he wouldn't stop hitting it

- Chicken scratch handwriting, no one else can read it for the life of them

- Learned Spanish in high school, don't ask why it just feels right

- Covered in scars, but 83% of them are from being a dumb kid instead of battles

- Once described Redson's voice as "really warm, like a hug!" And almost got burnt for it

- Love language is physical touch

- Has those really pretty brown eyes, like the ones that look like honey when the light hits them at that one perfect angle

- Has no fashion sense whatsoever, Mei chose out most of the clothes he owns

- Phone is shattered beyond repair but he refuses to acknowledge that he needs to get a new one

- Obsessively takes personality/buzzfeed tests in the dead of night, once pulled an all nighter just taking "which drink are you?", "what kind of seafood are you?" "What type of candy are you?" Type of buzz feed quizzes, and physically couldn't do deliveries because he was so exhausted the next morning

- Has a bunch of plants but is terrible at taking care of them

- Has a chipped tooth (actually Canon, it's on his lego figurine, I'm still sad they didn't add it to the show :( )

- Once walked in on Tang and Pigsy kissing as a kid and was promptly traumatized

- Has no skin or hair care routine, uses a 3 in 1 Shampoo/conditioner/bodywash

- Has really nice curly/wavy hair but straightens it and uses an unholy amount of hair gel

- Has a wattpad account

- Sleeps in literally the most horrific positions you have ever seen, yet somehow never get cramps or neck/back pains

- Once drank dishwasher soap as a kid because he thought it was juice

- Gets sunburnt incredibly easy (if you've seen the s4 special ykwim)

- Mk once accidently threw a plastic bottle in the trash instead of the recycling bin and got lectured for an hour by Pigsy (Pigsy is a huge environmentalist)

- His bedroom is messy as all hell but he somehow knows where everything is (Pigsy and Tang have tried cleaning it themselves but it was back to being a mess just a few short hours later so they gave up)

- He/Him (FtM)

- Gay

- Shortest one in the trio (just barely though). I like to think that the removal of the samadhi fire stunted his growth and demonic development, which is also why he takes so little after his father in appearance/height. He always wears platforms though, so he looks taller than he is

- He was so quiet and sneaky as a child that his mom had to put a bell on him

- Used to wear large combat boots until someone made a "step on me" joke. He doesn't wear them in public anymore

- Smells like smoke and cinnamon, Mei once described it as a 'campfire' smell

- Has really heavy blackout curtains in his bedroom

- Hair turns black when wet or when he's burnt out

- Always has a soft glow to his body because of his fire, mouth glows faintly, hair glows faintly, the more emotional he is the stronger the glow (MK and Mei are incredibly jealous)

- Tension headaches because we all know that mf has his hair tied up in the tightest goddamn ponytail ever

- Has the samadhi fire back (I'm delusional just let me have this)

- Has a habit of stealing his friends and families clothes to wear, first started when he was really little and would constantly steal whatever clothes of DBK's he could find around the house to help him feel like his dad was still there, and the habit just stuck with him

- Doctor handwriting

- Autistic

- Identifies as male but still likes to wear skirts and dresses sometimes (he just like me fr). Likes floor length skirts the best

- Actually really good at art, mostly draws blueprints for his inventions, but can draw people and landscapes pretty decently too

- Has a childhood Bull plushie that he still sleeps with, hides it under the bed or in the closet whenever MK and Mei come over

- has a scar on his back resembling the rings of samadhi from the removal ritual, Mei once confused it for a tattoo

- Mei once called him "Zesty" and he still doesn't know what it means, she refuses to tell him

- Was homeschooled by PIF

- Has a beauty mark like his mom's

- Has the most angelic, majestic, heartlifting laugh ever, but never actually laughs (unless it's his "evil" laugh, trust me guys)

- Goes to bed at 3am, wakes up at 11am type of person

- Needs glasses because the Samadhi fire fucked up his eyes (in Journey to the West, the samadhi fire is described as a flame that, when activated, "shoots out of every hole in his face" including, of course, his eyes)

- Remember when I said he was a quiet child? Yeah, he can't do that anymore, he literally has no idea how to be quiet now that he's older, the best he can do is whisper shout

- Hopeless romantic, but convinced that any and all feelings are unrequited

- Mei and Mk found his baby pictures once, he will never recover

- Long ass skin and hair care routine, will spend at least two or more hours on it every morning, but it's worth it, his hair and skin are always so soft

- Touch starved as fuck

- Love language is gift giving and positive affirmation (WILL cry if someone compliments him, doesn't matter who it is or what the context is, he once almost burst into tears when Sandy called him a good kid and gave him a pat on the back)

- Once he's focused on something he will stay focused for at least the next ten hours

- Loves strawberry flavored things but hates actual strawberries

- Listens to really underground music and has the biggest superiority complex because of it

- Has the biggest fucking bedroom you have ever seen, with one of those really large and extravagant, super comfortable canopy beds, wakes up like a Disney princess

- Usually self-preserving but will experiment on himself without hesitation if he thinks it'll help him with a breakthrough (has almost died on several occasions)

- She/Her

- Lesbian

- Has tons of piercings: nose, ears, bellybutton, etc (her parents don't know about the bellybutton piercing and she doesn't plan on letting them know anytime soon)

- "Hey, Red boy, cool tattoo!" "... thats a scar." (She still hasn't lived it down)

- Smells like freshly cut grass

- Tallest one in the group, idc what anyone says, I just have a feeling okay?

- Adores glitter makeup but can't stand the feeling of it on her skin

- Love language is quality time

- Has a love/hate relationship with her dragon features, she thinks they look cool and she's proud of her heritage, but if her scales get too dry, which happens very easily, they get really uncomfortable and itchy as all hell

- Had a phase in high school where she'd dye her hair everything except green

- Probably also has Adhd

- Avid tennis player

- Hates the feeling of jeans, but loves denim jackets (has a whole collection, plus one that she and MK have been patching together for years)

- Always smudges her mascara somehow, MK once thought she was crying

- Super rough and rowdy as a kid, like I'm talking pushing kids off swings and down the slide rowdy, tackling people in the sandbox or on the school field, girl was a menace to society

- Snorts when she laughs

- MK tried to scare her once as a joke and her first instinct was to deck him (apologized profusely... before laughing at him)

- Most reckless driver on the planet, it's a wonder how she hasn't gotten her license taken away yet

- Doesn't really consider herself close with her family, she loves them but MK, Tang, Pigsy, and Sandy are her FAMILY, y'know? Like Rosa in b99

- Was the first person to know MK has a crush on Redson, she found out when she walked in on him drawing them together, and she will never let him forget it

- Has a normal skin and hair care routine, and constantly tells Redson that he's insane for needing 2+ hours to complete his

- Is the only one with readable handwriting

- Once stayed up for an entire week to play a new video game that came out

- Will smack her head with a brush if her hair doesn't cooperate

- Bites people (gently, its how she shows affection. Unless she doesn't like you then she'll just naw on your arm until she draws blood)

- Lives on energy drinks, her favorite is Monster Pipeline punch

- Has really soft and really thick hair

- Used to chew on her hair in middle school

- Biggest sweet tooth ever, Redson is disgusted by her eating habits

- Goes on early morning jogs every day except weekends

- Sabrina Carpenter fan

- Refuses to watch any movies or shows based on video games she likes because they'll "never have the same charm or energy as the game", but will buy the video games that a show/movie is based on if she watches them before playing

- Will eat random plants all the time. Walking through the park? She'll lean down and pick a flower to chomp on

- The type of girl to carry around a goddamn gallon water bottle everywhere

- Has a thousand fairy lights in her room, it's a fire hazard

[thelaurenshippen]

re: that *chef kiss* PERFECT Franken-Drummer post and tumblr not being all over The Expanse, I know right?? it’s such an amazing show with so many delightful, complicated characters yet it’s so unfairly slept on! maybe because S1 takes awhile to get going and ppl give up? idk but it makes me sad that I have so few ppl to squeal about Drummer and Amos and Bobbie and Christjen and Ashford and Naomi (ad infinitum) with 😭🚀😭

WHY ARE PEOPLE NOT OBSESSED WITH THE EXPANSE HELLO!?!?! there's literally so much to love about it oh my god. you're right, it DOES take a second to get going but once it does!!!

for those of you who have not read or seen The Expanse series (I myself have yet to read the books), let me tell you why you'll love it:

political space drama with incredibly distinct cultures and phenomenal world building, if you're a details girlie (gn), you're gonna go nuts

the found family vibes!!??! are off!?!? the charts!?!? (minor spoilers for the first few episodes) four people are thrown into a situation in which they accidentally become the most important people/fugitives in the whole galaxy and most of them DO NOT trust each other, what could possible go wrong, and even better, what could possibly go RIGHT

Christjen Avasarala. you are not ready for her. most powerful mover-shaker on earth with the most incredible outfits you've ever seen, refined elegance with the filthiest mouth, plus she's got a classic "whatever those two have going on is so gay it veers into something else entirely" with her younger protective knight lady, Bobbie

Bobbie. the "not to be a lesbian but oh my god" post is made for her. we meet her in the show for the first time when she arm wrestles a robot and WINS. you will be begging for her to step on you with her mech suit

speaking of women I want to step on me Camina Drummer. angry revolutionary pirate queen of my heart. do you miss the unique agony of 2000/10s queerbaiting but want it to be not baiting somehow? this show does that, idk how else to explain it. the most agonizing sapphic pining you've ever seen but it's textual and also not painful because its gay. don't worry, Camina fucks, just not the girl she wants most (also spoilers, but this is not a bury your gays show don't worry)

Jim Holden is literally just Some Guy who becomes the special fantasy chosen one because he simply cannot stop Getting Involved. nosiest bitch in the universe, I love him.

imagine you're a girl who leaves your shitty ex and gets a normal industrial job on a spaceship, only to have a six foot, two hundred pound killer dressed as a mechanic imprint on you like a baby duck, and its unclear whether he wants to fuck you or call you a little sister but he definitely WILL kill for you and will do literally anything you say and then you both end up caught up in a weird galactic war by mistake and there's this other guy with a captain america level moral compass and he's cute and you're into him except your shitty ex is still out there with the biggest secret you have and meanwhile your best female friend is the coolest person you've ever met but you don't think you can be what she needs and you're holding your family together, you're holding the universe together and all you want is justice for your people but unfortunately you've gone and fallen in love with the accidental most important man in the galaxy. well, every day Naomi Nagata wakes up

Praxideke Meng. botanist of my heart. literally tames the rabid guard dog that no one else could. gentle and able to stay gentle because of said dog. which brings me to...

Amos Burton. I saved him for last because he is my guy. he is THAT guy. canonically aromantic pansexual king. are you into guard dog characters? do you find yourself drawn to the "sorry my love language is acts of service and all I'm good at is killing people" characters? amos burton is like seventeen tumblr posts come to life. previously mentioned enormous killer dressed as a mechanic, former heels wearing "I didn't always work in space" sex worker who is always rolling into brothels and being like "you guys unionized?", gives a shit about basically no one in the universe except his crew and every single child in the galaxy, accidental comedian because he cannot stop saying weird shit, not a nice or good person but a loyal one, and one who is always trying to relearn the empathy that was carved out of him as a young person. every time he goes homicidal to protect one of his chosen people (crew + any and every child), an angel gets its wings.

fin.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for making a pizza?

I know this is going to sound ridiculous and at this point I don’t care if anyone believes me. I just need to get my head on straight here because I’m starting to feel like a crazy person.

So I (19F) am staying with my parents and my younger sibling (14NB) for the summer. I’ve always liked to cook but I’ve been getting even more into it lately. I decided I wanted to try making a margherita pizza and I went out and got the ingredients myself.

Here’s the problem. My sibling is completely obsessed with that gay Neil Gaimen show Good Omens. Like, they’re so obsessed I think they should get tested for autism or adhd (this isn’t the only reason) but my mom won’t take them. Season two just came out and the ending was a sad cliffhanger or something akin to that. If you don’t know it’s about an angel guy and a demon guy and one of them has red hair.

Well ever since my sibling saw it they start freaking out and crying whenever they see the color red or anything else that reminds them of it. At first I thought they were just being dramatic on purpose but I don’t even know anymore. I had to stop wearing any red clothes in front of them because my mom kept yelling at me to not set them off.

You probably see where this is going. My sibling came into the kitchen when I was taking out the pizza. They asked what I was making and when they saw the tomato sauce they immediately starting freaking out. They kept asking why I would do this to them and I said I didn’t even know they were home (I really didn’t) and we couldn’t all live avoiding a whole color for the rest of our lives. I told them to stop being so dramatic and it’s only a show.

They told me it wasn’t just a show, that I would never understand and asked me if I was homophobic (???) before my mom showed up and scolded me for setting off my sibling. I told her she was being an idiot (I know I’m the asshole for this but I was really fed up) and she told me to go to my room. I could hear my sibling freaking out in the kitchen for a while after and I do feel kind of bad because they sounded really upset.

Later my mom brought me the pizza in my room and she told me not to do that again. I told her I was sorry for calling her an idiot and for upsetting my sibling but I still think the whole thing is crazy. Now my sibling is avoiding me and watching the show really loud on the living room tv like it’s meant to spite me or something?? They called me in just to watch a scene where the guys were kissing and my sibling had a really smug look on their face. Jokes on them though I’m not homophobic. I literally have a girlfriend but whatever.

AITA?

(Please don’t talk bad about my sibling in the comments. They’re actually pretty normal outside of this and a couple other minor things and they’re really young )

What are these acronyms?

[lotties-ashwagandha]

i have a request for adult lottie x reader if u want?

something about reader also being part of the survivors, besties with nat <3, lottie and reader having dated in the past, then reader going almost no contact with the rest of the last yellowjackets because of everything that went down there and was too much to bear so reader left and went off to god knows where to travel the world or whatever,

ANYGAYS reader and lotties love never withered even after all that time SO THEN they reunite and its super heartwarming romantic bla bla with a bit of sadness and hurt because lottie really needed reader but they just up and left without telling a soul bla bla u can choose what u do with it or how it ends but thank u nonetheless

IN MYTH, YOU ARE MINE

pairing: adult lottie matthews x reader

word count: 1870

notes: not proofread. also i am so obsessed w the gif of her beneath this AHH inhale gay exhale gay inhale gay exhale gay live the gay taste the rainbow

Against the pull of any sort of sound judgment, you’d reconnected with Natalie after she'd gotten out of rehab. It was the only contact you’d had with any of the other Yellowjackets since the wilderness, and while you knew Natalie was still in contact with some of them you couldn’t face any of them but her.

The two of you had reconnected, by chance, at a time when both of you were in terrible states of mind and neither of you should have been under the influence of the other. You had just gotten fired from your job, and with Natalie out of rehab with no place to go you’d traveled to meet her and had ended up staying in the motel with her. All of it was a mess, but in your mind it was the best option.

But one day, Natalie told you everything she’d been doing with the other Yellowjackets, tried to get you involved — she told you about the blackmailer, about Shauna’s dead boyfriend, about Taissa almost killing her wife in the car wreck caused by whatever alter ego was supposedly possessing her.

You had snapped. You weren’t ready to face any of the other girls, not after all that had happened, and not after so many years. It was best to leave it all be. The past wasn’t worth reliving, and the things all of you did… you didn’t trust yourself anymore.

So you left. Without warning you left Natalie at the motel, gathering what little things you had and hitting the road. It was shitty of you, and you knew it, but you’d done it before to the other girls, and this was no different.

But Natalie had never tried to contact you. You didn’t receive a single text, a single call, and it had you worried, which is why when a New York number you didn’t recognize kept trying to call you, you apprehensively picked up.

“Who is this?” You asked tiredly, sitting in your car at a rest stop.

The line was quiet for a moment.

“Hello?” You tried again, and you were about to hang up when she spoke.

“I almost didn’t recognize your voice, it’s been so long.”

You paused, a sharp sense of shock flooding through you, and for a moment you deeply considered hanging up, but you knew if you did she would keep calling. She always had.

“Lottie,” you breathed, your tone neutral, somewhere between regret and rejoicing. “Lottie, how did you get my number?”

She cleared her throat awkwardly on the other end. “I have Natalie.”

“You have her? What, did you kidnap her or something?” You tried joking, but you became a bit concerned when she didn’t respond for a few moments. “Lottie, holy fuck, you didn’t kidnap her did you?”

“An intervention was required. It wasn’t a kidnapping.”

You resisted the urge to laugh. She sounded so serious, insisting upon the fact that it wasn’t a kidnapping. But then her words fully digested, and a quick flash of fear ran through you. “What happened to Natalie? Why did you have to take her, is she okay? And why are you calling me about it?”

“Listen, I don’t know what happened between the two of you,” she said, “if you were just friends, or if there was more—”

“No,” you said quickly. “That’s all it was.”

“Well, in any case, Natalie… She tried to shoot herself. About a day after you left. We’ve been watching the two of you to make sure you’re okay, but if we hadn’t been…”

You were silent. You had nothing to say as guilt crashed over you in waves, cold and heavy, leaving you empty.

“Come to Camp Green Pine,” Lottie said, interrupting your montage of self-blame. “We can help you here, and you can see her. You can see me.”

“You run the weird hippie cult with the purple people?”

“It’s heliotrope,” she said rather sharply, “it’s not purple.”

“Pardon me.”

“Follow the gray car parked across the parking lot from you. I’ll meet you at the entrance in an hour.”

She hung up.

A bit disturbed, you turned, and looking out the back window of the car you saw that indeed there was a gray car, and you shook your head, smirking slightly.

“Weird bitch,” you murmured to yourself.

But upon reflecting on your conversation, your heart dropped a bit. It was an oddly professional phone call, considering it was between two people who had dated in high school and during what happened in the wilderness, and you hadn’t spoken in at least 15 years or so. Then there was the way you’d left things between the two of you, not really bad but not really good. You’d just left, with no way for her to contact you.

The gray car began to pull out of the parking lot, and after a moment of hesitation you followed it. Part of you wanted to turn around, keep running, but you knew Lottie had probably prepared for that, and trying to leave would only make things worse.

You arrived at Camp Green Pine within an hour. As it turned out, you weren’t too far from it at all, your subconscious having guided you already to where you needed to be.

The gray car stopped in front of the entrance to the commune, and two people wearing purple sweaters jumped out, approaching your car to greet you. You stayed inside, a bit apprehensive about joining them.

One of them gestured for you to roll down your window, and when you did, he smiled gratefully.

“If you follow us,” he said, “we will take you to Charlotte. She has instructed us to lead you to the lake, and from there she will give you a tour of the place herself. She also told us to let you know Natalie is under sedation, but she is healthy and should be waking up soon.”

You followed the two through the forested path at the entrance to the commune, a heavy silence settling among you. It must have been blatantly obvious how much you didn’t want to be there, and you made no effort to disprove that.

Whatever entity or insanity had plagued you in the wilderness, you could feel it here too, just as strong as it had always been. As you approached the wooden dock of the lake that surrounded half of the commune, you were brought briefly back to the past, all those days you spent with Lottie and Lara Lee in the lake in the wilderness, the baptism, the readings, the plane. The heavy weight of grief settled like an unshakable rock in your chest, and you stood completely still, unable to move. For a moment you could see it all so clearly, and when you looked into the sky the only view you had was of Lara Lee in the fire of the exploded plain, falling into the water, Lottie’s screams.

“The view is what sold me on this place,” a voice said from behind you. Her voice, smooth and soothing in a way you didn’t want to admit, in the way it always had been.

Lottie stood at your side, and after a moment of hesitation you turned, taking her in, changed so completely by the years but somehow bearing a sameness about her that could never be replaced.

You weren’t entirely sure why, but your throat began to close and you were fighting off tears.

You couldn’t cry in front of her. You had been the one to leave, it was your guilt to bear, your burden to apologize for, but you couldn’t even speak.

Tentatively you reached for her, as if upon touching her she would disappear, a goddess of the wilderness existing solely in myth – but then again she may not have minded that, to give her mind and body and soul to that perpetually untouchable thing that spoke to her and her alone so clearly.

She took your hand, meeting your gaze, analyzing your expression carefully but at the same time so unbelievably calm.

“Come with me,” Lottie said softly, and with your hand still in hers you allowed her to lead you to a nearby cabin, cushions and a small coffee table on the floor. You vaguely noticed anything, however, but her, and that finally you were alone together.

“I missed you,” Lottie said quietly after a moment. “You never called. After I got back from Switzerland I never heard from you again. We were doing so well and then you just… disappeared.”

You nodded. It was a conversation you didn’t want to have, one you weren’t proud that you had to have, but there was no avoiding it. “I couldn’t handle it anymore. The way people would look at me or ask me about getting stuck there. The other girls were coping in their own ways, and after a few years… when you got sent to Switzerland… I didn’t think you were ever getting out of there, Lottie, and without you there was no reason for me to stay.”

“But after I got out–”

“I knew how pissed you would be. I had no excuses, I still don’t, not really. I don’t know how to apologize, and I can’t make things better. I thought it would be best if I just left you alone.”

She nodded thoughtfully, and both of you were at a loss of words, though so much had been left unsaid.

“I’m sorry,” you said at last. “I shouldn’t have left without an explanation. I shouldn’t have left at all.”

“Then stay now,” she suggested, as if that was her plan all along, to lure you here and trap you in her love. “Make up for lost time, yeah?”

“You’d want me to stay?”

“Of course.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” you said, though really all you wanted was to stay with her and never leave. “I already fucked up before, and I don’t want to—”

Her lips crashed against yours, one of her hands sliding to the back of your beck, grounding you both, and you allowed yourself to get lost in the rhythm of the two of you together, the feeling of her lips on yours, her love bringing you home. It had been so long since you’d kissed her, and a thousand emotions flooded you but the one that stood out the most was that, undeniably, this was right.

“I never stopped loving you,” she said once you’d pulled away for air, “even after you left.”

You nodded, hardly able to respond. “I’ve missed you for years.”

You allowed yourself another moment of indulgence, another kiss, and you could feel her longing, the hunger that had never left. You wanted to explore it, exploit it, make it yours in her arms.

“Stay with me,” Lottie said, and this time it wasn’t a question, it was a command.

A goddess of the wilderness, divinity personified and standing before you. The failures of the past were forgiven, and all was new. You allowed love to guide you, home found at last in her touch, and though years of fault had passed, in her presence you were eternal.

[prince-strife]

So I watched “Like Minds” (I’m super unwell about gay people)

this one is like 3x longer than the tenet one

spoilers for a movie that came out 20 years ago ig

alex is clearly rly smart but he’s a right prick about it

nigel sure does like to stare 🤨🤨

oh so he’s a little freak. bro’s got a taxidermy cat in his luggage

ARE THEY MAKING BOMBS??

well. def explosives

DOES HE TAXIDERMY THE ANIMALS HIMSELF

he rly likes dead stuff…

not the gay little obsession

GIRL RECORK YOUR WINE BOTTLE

NIGEL WHY ARE YOU DISSECTING BIRDS IN YOUR BEDROOM

he’s so pretty tho fr mfer has gorgeous eyes

bro fuck this cop frfr

he did not seriously just punch this kid

oooh alex is fucked in the head too. inch resting

alex is one of those rich boys ._.

“obligations” hmmm i Do Not like the sound of that

WAIT THAT WAS HIS DAD??? that explains that ig

wait why is alex on the villains wiki. WHY IS ONE OF HIS CRIMES NECROPHILIA

interesting that alex is so aggressively anti-church (as an establishment, i mean)

ooooh nigel is Looking at him

not him fighting with his teacher

taking detailed notes about the people around him…nigel colbie autism

nooo leave him alone :((

alex is so mean to him omg. let him be a little freak in peace

HOLY SHIT HE JUST KILLED THAT KID

OHHH SALLY ROWE IS FUCKIN. JONI THROMBEY

wtf ym you “can’t find” the colbies..

omg staring across a casket at each other..

tom sturridge is so fucking beautiful i’m unwell

“i almost missed him” 🤨🤨

38 minutes in and i think this is the longest we’ve heard nigel speak

THE FUCK BOOK IS HE READING FOR THIS CLASS

idk i need nigel and alex to kiss

WOAH NIGEL JUST GOT REALLY CLOSE

“i’m really sorry about your friend” baby don’t lie no the fuck you’re not

smth abt the way nigel said “but you don’t have to worry” reminds me of the scene at the end of batman where joker is telling the riddler he did a good job.

THE GLARE AT THIS POOR GIRL nigel looks jealous as fuck

nigel baby giving the boy you like a hand is not the way to his heart

“it looks like you need a hand.” BABE. NO. TOO ON THE NOSE

he’s so cute in his lil jumper

SITTING ON HIS BED??? LEANING OVER HIM WHILE HE SLEEPS???? nah this is. gay behaviour

“alex, wake up. i’ve got a night planned 🥺” aww they’re gonna go on a date

oh they’re super close. NOW KISS

ooh hanging the essay over his head

the big smile… “are you having fun?” the little giggle. the smirk. he hates his ass. he is so in love with him. WHAT IS GOING ON

hmm i do not trust this

THE PUPPYY

“i’ve never brought anybody here before” INTERESTING (“i’m being vulnerable plz don’t be a dick abt this”)

i’ve still got an hour left of this movie good god

my mom is watching gbbo rly loudly and i just got super confused as to why the music Did Not Match the scene

“do you like it 🥺🥺” NIGEL. BABY. he’s so proud of his weird little lab it’s so cute

these little history nerds…

i rly thought nigel was gonna cuddle into him for a second

HELLO NIGEL IS STARING AT HIS LIPS????

“do you know what a pike is?” batting his eyes, looking as coquettish as possible. oh my god. oh my god.

CALLING HIM JACK. i’m so unwell this is so gay.

“we’ve been brought together for a reason” oh my god he thinks they’re murder soulmates

HIS SMILLLLEE

“for eternity.” gnawing on the bars of my enclosure

not him asking her out, nigel’s gonna be PISSED

the sword to his neck 🤭 OMG THE RUNNING IT DOWN HIS SPINE WHAT THE FUCK

the way he says “jack” i’m gonna pass out

“my name is alex. stay away from me.” NOOO it’s ok nigel i’ll be your jack

taking the gay goggles off for a second nigel clearly is in desperate need of a friend and is trying so hard to make alex his friend and it’s making me super sad bc he doesn’t seem to quite understand why it’s not working :(((

but also nigel baby stop breaking into his room

it’s giving yandere tbh

“what’s with the knife” *biggest most innocent doe eyes* “i don’t know what you mean, jack”

HOLY SHIT NIGEL. I FIGURED HE WAS GONNA KILL HER BUT WHAT THE FUCK.

i feel bad for her fr tho she didn’t do nothin wrong. not her fault alex is oblivious to his psychopath boyfriend

lol alex looking around for nigel when he finds out she’s dead. he’s not stupid, i’ll give him that

HE TOOK THE KNIFE

nigel’s very bad at acting innocent

“i sense some hostility” NO REALLY

they look like they’re abt to kiss

“no jack, you did it.” babe.

“feels good to vent one’s anger doesn’t it jack””i don’t want any part of this” “too late for that”

oh he’s CRAZY

he so sure that alex is just as nuts as he is.

OHH MCKENZIE IS IN THE CLUB TOO?? INTERESTING

wtf happened to nigel’s parents

babe being cryptic is not helping your situation

OOOH ARE THEY GONNA FIND NIGEL’S LITTLE ROOM OF CREEPY SHIT

i bet his parents are dead

hehe the jack <3

his jars of dead shit are so weird

was that a drawing of the dead kid?

nigel has rly nice handwriting omg

idk if the knowledge that it’s purely for scientific interest makes the pictures of the sleeping girl better or worse

HE TAXIDERMIZED HIS PARENTS???

he calls them helen and john???

love him introducing alex like he’s his boyfriend

THE EYE CONTACT HELLO??

nigel looks so dead inside omg

“stop it, nigel :((“

OH HE MADE THE BIBLE??? i thought it was a book he had not smth he created that’s actually pretty cool

“our union” 🤨🤨 its giving marriage

“nigel was right about this” hmmm boyfriend behaviour

omg mckenzie SUCKS like he’s just kind of an asshole

“i knew you couldn’t resist a secret rendezvous <3”

“you didn’t know nigel”

DID HE FUCK HER CORPSE

“my dearest jack”

IS HE SLEEPING WITH HIS MOTHER

THE PICTURES WERE OF HIS MOTHER????

his lack of reaction to her getting shot…

SO MUCH JUST HAPPENED IN A SPAN OF 30 SECONDS

he’s so clinical about the cleanup…

he’s so pretty…

HES SO FUCKED IN THE HEAD

omg does he want jack to be his maraclea is that why he got the gun (ik his mom was his maraclea let me be delulu)

he rly thinks this is completely justified

HOLF SHIT HE PULLED THE TRIGGER

i’m so sad he’s dead :(( gimme my babygirl back

holy fuck alex got released

AND HE KEPT THE BOOK

“my beloved susan” WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

“nigel got what he wanted…eternity”

OH MY FUCKING GOD J CANT BELEJEV HE DID THAT… continuing nigel’s work… oh my fucking god

“you like history.” BITCH WHAT

Edit: I forgot to give the movie a rating .-. 500/10 i fucking loved it, i’m already making a forbie playlist

[aloyxtilda]

I need to say something. The saltiness I have seen against Seyka. The negativity to Aloy and Seyka's relationship even. It's hurtful and sad. I am so sad to see this from such an amazing community that I love very much. A lot of us LOVE Seyka. Attacking her character, claiming she is written badly etc. Please stop. All that is a salty opinion that some people may agree with but doesn't mean it's true for the rest of us. And it's hurtful to see everyone attacking each other over it. You are allowed to be critical of the story. But attacking each other, lashing out, being mean is wrong. I love all the characters in Horizon. All of them! And it's fine if you don't. But be polite and respectful.

Aloy is confirmed bi/lesbian. Can't we all be happy for her at least? Your fantasy still continues on with whomever character you ship her with. It doesn't need to be canon. That's not what this story is about. It's not about your fantasy. It's about Aloy's growth and her learning about love. It was beautifully and respectfully told too. So relatable as a lesbian for me. Everything. And in my opinion, It wasn't rushed at all. It felt natural. Realistic. 🌹💞

Then you got the saltiest ones saying. "But Aloy has built up all these other characters who mean something to her and putting Seyka with her as her lover is like tossing the rest of the characters under the bus." 😒 Really? So That's like me saying. I got all these people who are into me sexually and friends in my life who I made deep connections with. That means I should and must date them?? 😬 Red flag alert! No!

Sorry kids but that's not how it works. Seyka just happens to be what Aloy wants and opens her heart at the right time. It's realistic, natural and her own decision. I feel like Tilda and Lis' tragic love story helped to make Aloy realize something deeper in herself. It's Guerrilla's story and they are telling it beautifully. Not some cheap dating sim. Look, I ship Tilda with Aloy. I get it. But I am not upset that Aloy never got with her. Specially since it was canon that Tilda was totally obsessively in love with Aloy and Lis. Then she went and died. (Left up to speculation of course. 😌) Spite whoever Aloy is with romantically, I just want Tilda to be in the 3rd game.

It's fiction and supposed to be fun. But people are legit shitting on Seyka and each other! I find Seyka is an amazingly well written character. People are more upset that Aloy didn't get forced into being with their favorite character. I understand we love our favorite characters but the negativity saltiness around it is toxic. Aloy can be with whoever she wants and Seyka is her girl she chose. Seyka also represents girls out there who look like her for once. Another plus. And if you chose for her not to be with Seyka...it doesn't change her sexuality or who Aloy is and what she likes. Sorry if that upsets you but not sorry. She's B/L and we should really be happy about this. Sometimes it's our own community that can stop more industries from making games for us. Since it's always easier to go the straight route. Then it's typical and the drama stays out of it. Is that what you want?

I am so happy for Aloy and her story. I am proud of Guerrilla for telling the story they want. (Spite all the backlash now from all sides.) And not listening to any particular group who think they deserve the favoritism. Instead they gave us something new and fresh. A new character who vibes with Aloy and gives her confidence who she feels equal to but also only knows her as the girl who fell to earth. Not the savior. Not the outcast and I prefer that. I just see it as the more the merrier. Seyka is just another beautiful character we can ship Aloy with in fanart/fics. But some people rather be angry about it all and cause drama, even use it to hate on other shippers. Like fine, do that if it makes you feel better. But it looks salty and really raised a red flag for me.

Also as a middle aged elder gay who works in the gaming industry and sees so much bigotry, this behavior doesn't help and looks bad on the lgbtq+. I've seen some amazing devs already be talked badly about because of their decision. We really need to be more supportive of each other and characters that represent us and companies who risk a lot to tell stories made for smaller minority groups. The game industry is still far from being a healthy environment for women, PoC and LGBTQ+. Let's not make it worse. ��👏 Thank you.

[kelelaluvr]

yuzuki hayato with a boyfriend

been obsessed w this anime lately, it's the most wholesome thing ever hdgdhdhddh figured i'd show some love to hayato, he's been on my mind since i started watching <3

content: fluff

remember during the fireworks mikoto asked hayato what would happen when he got a girlfriend?

little did he know his older brother sort of had one already - well, a boyfriend, that is.

the both of you had met in high school, being in the same class

slowly, you had gotten to know each other, passing notes during classes and sneaking glances when no one was looking

soon enough, you asked him out and he accepted!!! much to your surprise

but rest assured, he likes you very much

it's his first relationship, so please be gentle with him

he's very hardworking, and selfless as seen from his years of dealing with his brothers

it's reflected in the way he always asks you were you want to go first during dates after school, or how he offers to tutor you in the subjects you're weak in, despite his own heavy workload

you guys barely get anything done during these tutoring sessions anyway smh

he's too distracting so you just end up staring at him the whole time

you weren't too sure what his parents thought about two guys dating, so you both decided it was best to keep it a secret

but as with every secret gay relationship, it never ends like the movies and you both agreed to end it on amicable terms

it was sad, sure, but...that's life, isn't it?

as you both went into college, you kinda just. stopped contacting each other. and it was fine. you were okay to leave your relationship as nothing but high school sweethearts.

so imagine your surprise when years later, you walk into the staff room of the high school you've been posted to on your first day as a teacher, and see your ex-boyfriend.

"oh. my. god. HAYATO????"

"[NAME]????"

as it turns out, he had been at that high school for a while now, but it was his first time taking a class

the first thing you noticed was that he was a very, very tired man.

when you got closer to him, it was only then did you learn of his current family situation

it just increases your admiration for him

how does he manage to juggle handling a new class, and taking care of 3 brothers all by himself? no one knows

so you made it your goal in your new job to help hayato out as much as possible, to lessen his burden

you can't help it, you've never really gotten completely over him so this was the perfect chance to show him how much you care

you need to force him to take constant breaks, otherwise he'd probably pass out from exhaustion one of these days

technically he already has cough gaku in ep 3 cough

but it's no secret that he's not good with relying on others

it's impossible to ask him how you can help directly, instead you try to discreetly do some of his work for him, like preparing the exam sheets

this doesn't escape hayato's watchful eyes, he immediately notices

"[name], did you do this for me? thank you, but i can handle it myself. you already have so much work to do..."

"hayato, i want to help! just let me. please."

"but-"

"shhh. just let me take care of it."

he gets butterflies whenever he's around you, and he doesn't know why.....surely he's more mature than this, getting flustered over some guy he dated in high school.

right...?

it seems like you weren't the only one with lingering feelings

eventually it gets to the point where it's hard for the two of you to focus on your teaching jobs properly when it's clear as day to all of your colleagues that there was a lot of mutual pining going on

like...the tension in the staff room is so thick it's suffocating

you were the first one to confess (again)

with hayato being so busy, he can barely find time to even consider romance, so he just pushed those feelings aside and buried himself in his responsibilities, hoping his feelings for you would just subside

the fact that you were able to make a little place in his heart and stay there is so, so special

so he accepted, of course. thank god. it would have a taken a long, long time for him to make the first move.

boyfriends! for the second time. <3

WHEW that backstory took longer than i thought....onto your actual relationship

i can definitely see him being the sappy type, he just doesn't show it outright.

since the both of you are busy the whole school day teaching, the only time you really get to spend together is during lunch breaks

he tries to show his love subtly, like waking up early so he can pack a homemade lunch for the both of you to share

it's times like these you feel truly blessed to be dating him, we all know he's an amazing cook since he had to learn so many recipes to feed his brothers

he's definitely very easily flustered

so pda in the staff room would have to be limited to a quick hug or kiss between periods, otherwise he can't focus on teaching

you guys go home together after finishing the work day at school, sometimes you would go to his place

and trust, the first time you did, hayato spent the whole previous day worrying about it and briefing his brothers that someone would be coming over. he runs that family like the navy

"tomorrow...someone will be coming over when i come back from work. please behave..."

immediately, they all catch on. hayato hasn't had someone come over since before their parents passed, so this must be someone special

minato: "who?? your girlfriend??

"MINATO."

mikoto: "well...is it?"

"it's...my boyfriend."

immediately, they all make that ooooOOOHHHH sound that siblings tend to make, much to hayato's embarassment.

"shut up....." he mutters, head in his hands. he desperately hoped they wouldn't say anything too weird when you were over.

you were already kinda familiar with his brothers from when you went to his house a few times during high school, but it was strange seeing them all grown up

unexpectedly, they did remember you.

minato: "hey, isn't this your friend from high school? you mean you guys are dating now??" he bounces up and down excitedly.

"the truth is...we were dating back then. we reunited since we both teach in the same school. it's complicated."

mikoto had an uncharacteristic smirk on his usually stoic face. "i knew it all along. you guys were too close to be friends..."

"you're kidding me." hayato groaned.

getting along with them is a must, hayato can't bear the thought of his favourite people disliking each other

thankfully, they all warm up to you very quickly. it's heartwarming to them that their brother found someone who makes him genuinely happy

he's basically dedicated his whole life to taking care of them, its what he deserves

one time on the weekend, gaku caught you lurking outside the house looking for a way in

"oh! gaku! don't worry, i'm just...helping your brother with....work...stuff."

but really, it was just an excuse to come surprise hayato

it doesn't really take long for gaku to catch on though, i mean, he's literally 6 years old and lowkey a child prodigy so like

overtime, they started to see you as an older brother figure as well

the first time hayato mentioned this to you, you wanted to cry. it means so much to have his family's acceptance

the first time you offered to help him out with family matters, he looked at you like you were crazy.

"absolutely NOT. you're not even part of the family, how could i burden you with my own troubles?"

"i'm not part of the family...? :<"

"you know i didn't mean it like that....i mean-"

"don't worry, i'll be part of the family legally soon..."

"WHAT?????"

unfortunately for hayato, minato had overheard this conversation and gleefully proclaimed to his brothers that hayato was getting married soon

they hope it really happens, though. ♡

[hots0s]

Hello there, I've mostly been lurking on this tag for a while but finally worked up the courage to ask for something.

Since you wanted to have some prompts for "pathetic" Kai, may I request / give you an idea ? First of all, it's so sad how few gay readers there are for this man, so could it be an x male reader ? Gender neutral is fine too, I'm just sick of seeing 'she's everywhere lol.

So my idea was that the reader somehow gets a hold of post Tartarus breakout Kai and takes care of him. Some nice simple fluff like idk, cooking a meal, bathing him etc.

Totally fine if you don't want this prompt, have a great day either way :3

as a gay dude who’s obsessed w him i would be delighted to anon, thank you for the ask!!

it is mostly fluff however i did get a bit carried away ngl i just can’t help myself w him he’s very kissable ok

-

“chin up, please.”

kai’s golden eyes slowly roll to fix on yours and the long pause teases you with the possibility that he’s going to disobey before he does do as you’ve requested, tipping his head back and gazing dull at the mouldy ceiling. you sigh in relief that he’s not in one of his argumentative moods, something that’s becoming more and more regular these days, and despite your own feelings it is preferable to the zombie act. he’s becoming much livelier since you’d first taken him in which is a good thing. it’s been tough but you’ve always been patient and nothing if not persistent with those in need— and he needs you.

you dip the straight razor in the sink and flick a few water droplets off, taking gentle hold of his jaw and gliding the blade up his neck with practiced ease. it feels as erotic as you imagine it looks— two men in a cramped bathroom, half naked, touching. you really want to get off the edge of the bathtub and sit on him instead but there’s something stopping you. he’s unpredictable as he is alluring and you don’t want to ruin it. you can admit to yourself that you are enjoying this, that you’re enjoying his vulnerability and your role as his sole caretaker, glad that he relies on you for everything from changing clothes to feeding himself to something as simple as a shower and a shave. he’s not totally helpless but he’s definitely gotten used to being babied. it’s more than fine in your books, it feels good to protect and love him as he is. how terribly fond of him you’ve grown.

you’ve intentionally drawn out the last few scrapes and if he notices it he doesn’t mention it. underneath the overwhelming scent of shaving foam and cheap shampoo you can smell him. it’s barely there, naturally, for someone who demands a shower twice a day, but you can pick it up. it’s nothing but utterly pleasant and you want to bury your face into him and just inhale. for as many dirty fantasies as you’ve had about him, somehow that one feels peculiarly perverted. red faced, you pull back to inspect your work, tilting his head this way and that. his eyes don’t leave yours.

“you put any thought into a moustache yet?” you ask. the look he gives you speaks volumes of his thoughts on that. “just kidding.”

chisaki sighs deeply as you chuckle and grab a dry towel to dab his cheeks and neck with. you feel refreshed just touching his newly bare skin. inwardly you mourn the loss of his stubble but for the pleasure of shaving him alone you’ll let it go. he’s gorgeous either way and you let your admiration show. his nose scrunches up at the intense scrutiny and he shies away from you, as if you hadn’t just helped him wash himself.

“don’t do that,” you murmur, turning him back to face you. you doubt he’s ever put much thought into his looks but you are curious to know if he’s aware of how pretty he is. of all the words to describe a persons beauty you think that’s what suits him most. you’ve told him so, just to embarrass him.

affection was not something usually invited but you know his tells well enough by now to see that he’s wanting, another little thing that’s become more frequent the more comfortable he gets with you. you caress his cheek like he’s something precious and press your lips to his neck, open mouthed and slow and purely indulgent. you smile at the sigh this elicits and he all but melts into you, allowing you to run your hand through his auburn hair and wrap the other around him. he’s practically on top of you and still it’s not enough, you want him impossibly closer, so you take a risk at a potentially embarrassing fall or rejection and tug him onto your lap. it’s a pleasant surprise when he doesn’t disagree and gives you a smouldering kiss of your own, no stubble burn to accompany it. he tastes good and clean, so, so clean. you want to devour him.

after a minute of passion he rests his head on your shoulder, closing his eyes. flushed and breathing a little heavier, you rub your hand up and down the smooth expanse of his back, over rippling muscles that somehow survived his imprisonment. “okay?” you ask, breathless.

you feel him nod against you. “tired.” he mumbles. “we’d have to shower again.”

you laugh a little, squeezing him affectionately. “alright. c’mon then, we’ll dry your hair and go to bed. unless you’re hungry?”

“no.“

he makes no move to get off you.

“kai?”

he hesitates before he asks, so quiet you barely hear it. “… carry me?”

you wonder why now, after all you’ve done for him, he sounds so unsure. you give him a final kiss that you hope reassures and conveys your utter devotion to him. you haul yourself off the tub and carry him to bed, knowing that if he still had his arms, he’d be holding you just as tight.

[meepmoopdraws2]

Since my hand has been hurting too much to draw I give you my unhinged unfiltered not proofread thoughts… K so like I know what Ryan and Oliver keep saying… and I hear them… vulnerable this… new that… I love you to the core blah blah… but I need them to be so realistic about this. What do you mean we’re going to see them interact in new ways we haven’t seen before. Um yeah freakin right… the only difference is going to be that their going to acknowledge that their doing it in front of our salad. NEW? U mean they’re gonna flirt, cry, be touchy, be parental, be honest, be gay, be nervous, happy, not subtle, never not together, telling each other everything? Angsty when they’re sad? NEW? WHY DO U THINK WE SHIP THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE. Sorry it’s making me laugh but I just don’t believe them “new”. New my a*s. You’re just going admit that we’re not complete clowns. The only ONLY thing that would be new that I can think of is them actually talking about their relationships. Buck dating a guy and Eddie’s sexuality arc? But not their dynamic. That will not be new. Just louder?

Side note: Since the beginning of this show Ive been rooting for a bisexual Buck who just is. He knows who he is, Maddie does, and people are just oblivious. Basically that the extent of his “coming out” is him just talking about whatever and it’s a non thing… like “omg I dated this guy who was obsessed with alligators” and we move on. Its so powerful to have that kind of rep too. Even if they have a realization arc for him this season I would rather it be something more along the lines of him getting asked out by a guy or vice versa and him being like “at some point I felt like I had to fit the majority so I just stopped letting myself feel anything for men. Ive always liked them ive been with them…” so on and so forth. Or “yeah blank asked me out and we had fun” and blank is a guy and no one is like “U LIKE MEN?!” Or even if they are he’s just like “yeah haven’t you been knew?” Imo the realization arc there should be more Eddie realizing he’s jealous of Buck even when he’s with a guy”

On the other hand-Eddie’s sexuality arc is a really beautiful opportunity. Especially him talking with Athena and Bobby. Cause I feel like Eddie would have so much guilt or has so much guilt. Like he feels like he wasted so much of Shannon’s life when he was never able to love her in the way she loved him and then she died. And Bathena are obviously like “sometimes life works out that way but you got Christopher and a beautiful friendship and nothing would change that-do you really think she would hold that against you.” And Bobby is like “I got a second chance” Athena js like “I don’t regret that love it led me to such a beautiful thing.” Etc etc. and Eddie realizes Athena is Buck. Okay now im rambling and incoherent byee

[ssruis]

i like youre posts, thoughts on ruinene ?

As a romantic dynamic: I don’t really think abt them that way… it’s the unrepentant emunene/ruikasa bias. Also a lot of rui & nene’s interactions read as very… sibling-like? To *me*. Personally. I hesitate to say sibling-like, because people get really weird about assigning family dynamics to characters who aren’t related or raised as siblings and have never referred to each other as siblings (“it’s basically incest” no it is not what are you on), but it’s something similar to that imo. Gestures at nene’s new 3rd anniversary 2* card story where Rui is like “I remember when you were reading picture books… and now you’re reading more advanced books… how time flies…” & she’s like “stop treating me like a kid 😑” despite being him being only one year older than her.

I don’t have anything against it (& I think taking shipping fictional characters seriously enough to fight over it is ridiculous), it’s just not for me & I don’t see it romantically. But for the people who do: you do you have fun enjoy yourselves. (I also personally think Rui is gay coded but again. Idc if people disagree it doesn’t affect me I’m glad they’re having fun. Also that’s a hot button topic & I don’t want the people who do take this shit too seriously to hunt me down with pitchforks and torches please go outside it’s not that deep.)

As a platonic dynamic/going off what’s in canon: I’m so obsessed with them (as I am with all wxs dynamics). They’re so fascinating to me. They make me so sad. Another reason I hate the “they’re siblings” thing is it feels like a boring restrictive box people want to shove their dynamic into that does a disservice to how interesting it is. It waters it down.

Nene was the only person Rui really had as a friend when he was a kid, and the only person who trusted in him and his ideas. They grew their love for theatre together. At some point they grew distant - we don’t know why, but my personal take on it is this:

1. Rui slowly growing to think he would never find anyone who got him after experiencing rejection after rejection, and pushing Nene away. A combination of “I need to leave her before she leaves me, this way it will hurt less because it’s My Choice”, “I shouldn’t inflict myself upon other people it’s better for everyone if I stay by myself”, and “Nene has her own friends now I would just be dragging her down.”

2. Nene having her own friends (new troupe) and slowly pulling back - or, at least, not actively trying to prevent him pushing her away. “I don’t want to experience the same social rejection, and I don’t know how to help Rui, there’s nothing I can do.” Nene, especially in the early days, has never been very assertive, and I don’t think favoring blending into the background over standing out (in a potentially embarrassing way) due to Rui’s stunts and ideas would be out of character for her.

3. I don’t think they went to the same middle school/junior high (I could be wrong) (did they even go to the same elementary school?) which meant they didn’t spend time together without one of them reaching out, which became increasingly rare.

I don’t think either of them are to blame. Or they share equal blame, depending on how you look at it. I see people placing more of the blame on Nene though, which is… Nene get behind me. Leave her alone. If you held my prsk account at gunpoint and said “ok but seriously who is more to blame for the relationship breakdown you have choose or your 4*s are gone forever” I would say Rui. Wouldn’t even have to think about it. Given his abandonment issues/avoidant tendencies/habit of pushing others away/pre main story mindset, it’s what makes the most sense.

They don’t really reconnect until the main story, and even then I wholeheartedly believe Rui was less interested in reconnecting than he was interested in getting Nene to perform again. He accepts Tsukasa’s invitation to WxS under the condition that he gets to bring in a fourth member and then immediately tries to leave the second Tsukasa is like “I don’t want to die wtf.” like he doesn’t even try that hard to convince him he just goes “ok bye have fun nene :).”

Rui builds Nene a robot so she can perform again which - I’ve talked about it before briefly, I need to talk about it at length at some point, but while that’s very sweet it’s also… not helpful. Not in the long run, at least. It wasn’t a *bad* thing, it was just the only solution he was capable of offering. It was a bandaid over a gaping wound situation - Nene couldn’t hide behind a robot forever. Rui couldn’t always be there to fix nenerobo, she couldn’t pursue performing seriously behind a robot, and she *wanted* to be on stage again. What Nene needed was the courage to get on stage again, and Rui didn’t have the skill set to help with that, because it was something Nene needed to find on her own (with support).

The thing about them in the early days is they both enabled each other to stagnate in situations they weren’t happy with. Maybe more so Rui than Nene, in that he literally built he a robot to allow her to avoid confronting her anxiety around performing, but Nene also lacked the ability to challenge or discourage Rui’s “I’m better off on my own” mindset. The tragic consequences of two people who lack social skills (one of which has pretty severe social anxiety) trying to help each other. Nothing really gets done.

(As an aside: this is why the emu+nene and tsukasa+rui dynamics are so crucial. Yes even outside of a ship dynamic I promise I’m accounting for my own bias. Emu+tsukasa did actually have the ability to encourage nene+rui to come out of their shells - Emu is Nene’s no.1 hype man and always encourages her in everything she does and pushes her outside her comfort zone socially. Nene doesn’t have to guess at what Emu is thinking & get caught up in the weeds of anxiety bc Emu will just tell her outright. Rui credits Tsukasa specifically with giving him the chance to change for a reason, and Mizuki/pandemonium NPCs point out that Rui has seemed so much happier and less closed off since becoming Tsukasa’s friend. Pointing @ the thing Rui’s CV said about as you like it.)

There’s still some degree of guilt on Nene’s side wrt being unable to help Rui even now, but that’s lessened over the course of the story. There’s a lot that goes unsaid between them about their shared past, but they also understand each other incredibly well after knowing each other for ~10 years. By virtue of knowing each other forever they’re both well acquainted with how the other’s mind works.

Nene can tell what’s bothering Rui in wonder halloween before even he realizes it, and she understands that he struggles to explain/articulate his feelings and issues in curtain call. Rui is tuned into Nene’s anxiety saw trap of a mind and is well versed in getting her to realize she’s overthinking things (I.e. “why don’t you just ask tsukasa what he did in the acting camp” in her emu3 2* card. I think that’s the right card) as well as getting her to speak up (shutting emu up with a donut in one of the earlier nene card stories so nene has a chance to talk. source here is just trust me I don’t want to hunt the card down).

Nene is always in his corner, and the reverse is true. They want each other to be happy and they’re so so so pleased that the other is doing better now. Nene often points out that Rui seems happier, and Rui is very proud of how far Nene has grown both on the stage and off it. Love their dynamic it’s so good… I care them…

[bthump]

In terms of plot/characterization, what purpose do you think the gay water fight/Griffith’s naked speech after serve? I love reading it through a queer lens as much as anybody but wondering how Miura may have intended it?

In my head it’s both a demonstration of Griffith’s childlike side and like, baring himself before Guts as this perfect looking/idealized being saying he’s going to get his kingdom…but then the nakedness makes it weirdly vulnerable too…? Would love to hear your thoughts!!

I agree that there's a vulnerability to Griffith, and his child-like side is v deliberate imo.

I actually take it as a parallel to the flashback with Griffith and Casca in the river after Gennon, in that Griffith is physically naked and emotionally open, very humanized, in both scenes before closing back up with a reaffirmation of his dream. The river scene is like a sad and depressing and more revealing reprise, in a way, where it becomes very clear that Griffith's dream obsession is a defense mechanism, rather than a genuine belief.

In the waterfight scene Griffith and Guts connect in a playful way, as two children who don't get to act like children very often. And imo it's an interesting affirmation of their true equality deep down, despite appearances/social status/dreams: Griffith just won a duel to keep Guts as a soldier, but now Guts wins a "duel" in the waterfight. He even calls them even after dumping the last bucket of water over Griffith's head. It's also nicely symbolic for Guts choosing to stay, rather than feeling forced by a duel.

I think the point is mainly to show how they're compatible as friends, and that one big reason Griffith likes Guts is because Guts treats him pretty irreverently (up until the Promrose Hall speech), in a way no one else we see really does. He plays with him, wins the water fight when Griffith isn't expecting it, and questions why Griffith saved his life in the raid the night before. This dynamic feels like a good starting point for Guts ignoring Griffith's orders and Griffith planning around him instead of keeping him in line like Casca wants him to do, Griffith asking Guts to assassinate people for him instead of ordering him to, Guts trying to visit Griffith after Zodd injures him because "who gives a damn about social status?" before being stopped by Casca, etc.

Griffith shuts down Guts' question by claiming he only saved Guts' life because he's a good soldier, and then moves onto his grandiose speech about his dream, and imo that's an emotional distancing tactic. Something Griffith probably isn't really aware he's doing, but it's a way for him to subconsciously protect himself from the realization that Guts is more important to him than his dream, by denying that he saved Guts for any reason except that it serves his dream.

It basically helps set up Griffith's image while sowing seeds that belie that image - Griffith is dedicated to a dream, Griffith is impressive and noble and Guts will die when Griffith chooses but not before then, yadda yadda yadda. That's the image. But the reality underneath is Griffith inviting a blushing Guts to bathe with him while naked lol, starting a waterfight with him and losing, and essentially being a 15 year old kid with a crush. Or wait, you said aside from the homoeroticism lol. I'll describe it as being a 15 year old kid who needs a friend who doesn't treat him like an idol, but doesn't know that's what he needs yet, and can't quite conceive of how friendship works because he's too obsessed with his dream.

So yeah basically Griffith acting like an ordinary human kid who wants a friend with Guts, then closing himself off and making it all about the dream when Guts basically calls him out on risking his life to save him. This dichotemy that Judeau describes at the start of the chapter, illustrated, and just begun to be explained:

He's a child who has to act like an adult, a kid with a little too much wisdom, a good guy who becomes a villain because he talks himself into believing he is.

As for Guts, I think this scene demonstrates a big part of why Guts chooses to stay with the Hawks. He doesn't stay just because Griffith beat him in a fight - after this scene he spends a while reflecting and wondering if he should stay, and decides that he wants to.

So for Guts it's the feeling of making friends including Griffith, having Griffith's trust as a soldier, and having Griffith save his life. This chapter is the turning point where Guts decides he's found a place, at least "for now," and it's no coincidence that the main focus of this chapter is Guts bonding with Griffith.

All that said, I don't think the waterfight can really be divorced from homoeroticism honestly. Like it just seems disingenuous to ignore it when it comes to moments like this:

I do definitely think there's an extent to which Miura intended the homoeroticism, and intended to imply that Guts and Griffith at the very least have the potential to connect romantically, whether that's something Miura would've imagined for them in an AU where nothing goes wrong, or whether it would always be unrealized potential that simply adds to the intensity and complexity of their relationship. It's a safe bet to assume the latter I suppose, but either way, it's there, and Miura has discussed homoeroticism in the context of Griffith and androgynous characters in general, at least.

So I do think another important aspect of the scene is to show a spark of physical attraction between them. But yeah tbf it's not the most relevant aspect thematically, it's more like some extra flavour that colours Guts and Griffith's relationship. Everything about them still makes technical sense as a platonic friendship. Just not quite as much thematically satisfying sense lol.

And lastly I have a longer take on this scene in the second part of this essay if you're interested, but this is the gist of it. Thanks for asking, it's good to have an excuse to discuss the scene by itself rather than having my take on it stuck buried in a super long essay lol.

[mwagneto]

sherlock & co. review from an insane person (me) coz this is like. the 25th? sherlock adaptation i've checked out so ofc i have opinions on everything ever. and ik ppl who work on indie podcasts browse tumblr sometimes so just in case you work on this DON'T click keep reading, this post is not for youuu shoo. thanks x

ok so far it's like. fine? which is lowkey sad coz i wish it was smtg i really liked but it hasn't gripped me yet which is a shame but yknow. early days. i'm giving it time since it's only 15 episodes so far

my main issue is like. i really wish it wasn't so obviously influenced by bbc but it just so clearly is which is a shaaame like it's better than bbc in every aspect but yknow. not a high bar to clear. like it kinda feels like they liked a lot of things abt bbc and set out to fix the bad parts (h&w friendship being nonexistent, the mysteries being shit) but just kept the rest? in some places keeping things that were invented by bbc which is. baffling tbh

i'm not really picky when it comes to h&w personalities like i think it's fine to just do whatever you want w them, i think it's really fun when an adaptation gives them different personalities than what you're used to but, and this is where it feels far too bbc-ish for comfort, i just don't like it when sherlock is a cunt for no reason? like. he's not a mean person he's only mean in bbc coz moffat thought house md was cool and ripped it off. can we stop making him mean pleeeease 😭 he's just some guy..................

h&w relationship wise it's like... ok so i tend to go into adaptations with a fully clean slate so like i never let my general attachment to them influence how i view them in specific adaptations, the work itself needs to sell me on both the characters and the relationship and like... here neither of those really happened yet which makes me sad coz i think by now it should've but i'm giving it time. at least they're friends and i like that watson is useful for cases/knows things holmes doesn't sometimes coz thats like. such an essential element to sh stories for me and a loooottt of adaptations tend to just completely forget it so that's a win but idk if anything they're too tame? like i dont expect a romance but they can't just be casual friends they need to be bat shit crazy about each other. to me. but like maybe that'll develop over the rest of the podcast we'll see

kinda related to that point but case-wise i think holmes is a bit too ahead of everyone else sometimes which isn't inherently a problem but it does once again smell of bbc which like. noone should ever emulate moffat writing don't do that 🙏 god bles. but i've been able to solve every case along with/before the mcs which is like. thee point of mystery stories for me so yea i really like the stories themselves so far, especially the way they manage to make them solvable even without visuals or narration. OH and i almost forgot but i rly like the soundtrack, i love it when sh soundtracks have a heavy emphasis on violins coz. yknow

howeverr i am on my hands and knees begging them not to give watson a girlfriend tho like please oh myfffucking god . obvs watsonlock doesn't usually factor into my enjoyment of adaptations given that like. y'know. out of the hundreds out there theres only two where either of them is even gay so it's not something i expect nor require but like. to me it is essential that these two ppl are insane abt each other and don't really have anyone else, definitely noone important. like even the rdj movies got this despite ritchie's obsession w the 2 men 1 woman dynamic so idk why i'm constantly having to wage a war against random unnecessary romances for either watson or, god forbid, holmes. when the only interesting relationship either of these men have is with each other. that one granada holmes quote about them choosing not to include mary coz holmes and watson dont need anyone else etc etc. like i seriously dislike it when they introduce anyone else like cmonnnnnn thog dont care

anyway tldr. i guess if asked to pick a short description i'd say. promising? i hope it's gonna be good in the long run. the way they do mysteries is already something i like so. i hope they keep that up and i hope the h&w relationship evolves into something i enjoy coz so far i'm like. i can see the bones of smtg i'll potentially like but it's not there yet. but also like. this is an indie production i'm listening to for free so ion wanna rip into it these are mainly just what i liked/disliked based on the preferences i developed with this one quick trick (grow up completely insane abt sherlock holmes -> consume every adaptation that you can get your paws on -> no profit)

[just-a-random-raccoon]

Day 31: Last goodbye

WOOOHOOOO I did it, not in time, but I did it.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR THE ONES WHO STUCK ON THIS WITH ME!!!! SO GOOD. Like really. Thanks.

YESSSSSS!!!!! IT HAPPENED!!!!!! I DID A DSAFTOBER!!!!! <- (obviously haven't waited a whole year to do one of these since I entered the fandom. What do you mean?)

Now! Time for the last angst of dsaftober and the last time these gays I MEAN- guys will see each other.

Fanfic... under the cut!

Dave never received a happy birthday in his whole life or undead life. Never a gift, a party or a form of affection. He thought he didn't needed it, or better said, thought whatever Henry was giving him was affection and was how a father treated his son.

When he discovered he was just being used it hurt.

It hurt so much, he remembers the heart he never had aching, the brain that wasn't there hurting, his head spinning, the scars craving in his skin, the tears coming out. But, he remembers one thing.

Jack was there.

Jack was almost always there.

He really loved him for that and more, you could say he is also obsessed. But most of all, he remembers talking to him about his birthday. He didn't even have a birthday, he just took the day he met Henry as one, because before all of this. He considered Henry taught him everything, even how to live.

The coincidence it's that it was Halloween but that was better. His birthday was coming soon, and Jack had promised to him to gave him the most amazing first birthday gift on life. And he hoped those words were truth.

...

They already defeated Henry and he took out his magenta tie and stepped on him, he isn't gonna remember that fucker anymore, he doesn't deserve it. Then, everyone thanked Jack. Of course, they couldn't have got here if it wasn't for him.

It was his turn, the time to tell him how much he thanked him, to tell him how much he loved him, how much he wanted to go with him to their eternal rest, how much he helped. "Looks it's just ya' and me Old Sport, and the mutt of course" He said trying to light up the mood, he was about to the start and was nervous about it.

Until Jack cut him off.

He cut him off with the most heartbreaking words he could ever have done so.

"I can't go with you guys, I couldn't dare to tell the others. But I don't have a soul"

And that's where Dave's world stopped worked entirely. "W-what?" He asked confused and the orange man explained everything, how he did a promise and he doesn't have a soul. How he couldn't go.

How there was a happy ending for everyone except him.

He couldn't put himself back together, but he did with others.

"But, why? I won't go, I can't go, I can't loose you. You're the tangerine to my aubergine! The clementine to my auber-gine! I'm not strong enough to go alone, not again. I lost Henry I can't lost you!" He hasn't go pass Henry, he was an asshole. But he couldn't get over him very easily and with more reason he needed Jack, he needed him for being there. Like he always has been.

In the end, Jack gave him Blackjack's collar, he would be stuck with him meanwhile he got that. Dave was about to go with tears in his eyes about to have a breakdown. But before he could vanish he felt a hand on his arm and a recognizable voice calling him.

"Hey Dave" the orange man said with a sad smile and opened his arms. "Happy birthday!" He said trying to hold back tears. But Dave couldn't do that, he hugged him like the apocalypse was happening and muttered a "Thank you" to him tearing up.

The two stayed quietly in Jack's last moments. Hugging each other just sharing two last sentences.

"Goodbye William, I hope you can find peace with what you've done"

"Goodbye Old Sport, thanks for putting me back togheter"