#adult lottie matthews x reader

[leahsgf]

flicker of hope

pairings. adult lottie matthews x reader

you have struggled with your anxiety for as long as you could remember, but with lottie you feel like you can get through anything.

description of anxiety and panic attacks!

-

the bitterness of the cold nipped at your skin, joining your mind in taunting you as you slumped down against a tree, an unplanned detour from your final jobs of the day around the compound.

you’d felt the weight of your anxiety compressing against your chest from the moment you had awoken, teasingly, like some twisted social experiment to see how long you could bare to fight it before it inevitably consumed you.

“fuck” you threw your head back, feeling the scratch of the bark behind you as the lump in your throat grew strength, and tears began to silently slip out and down your reddening cheeks.

your bad days were now considered rare in comparison to the decades ago when you were stranded, and the gnawing, looming voices inside of you had actual reason to grip onto and control you with, like a puppet on strings. however, even years after you’d been rescued, every now and again that puppet would be ripped from it’s prior abandonment and tormented, when you least expected it and without reason, making your feelings even more overwhelming and complicated, especially now that you’re expected to of left every aspect of the wilderness behind you with the time passed, and stories were no longer published in the news about it, meaning no therapist cared to see you either.

“you love and care so deeply about every little thing that it consumes all of you. i couldn’t imagine a more exhausting existence.” one particular doctor had uttered to you once, paired with the typical sympathy laced look in her eyes that made your stomach drop that little bit more.

you were your own biggest enemy. it was a simply a fact, one that no medication or fancy degree would truly ever solve. you shredded yourself from the inside out before anyone else could even come close to doing so, something you’d done since the days when you would simply rip up your finger paintings and cry because everyone else’s would automatically be better than yours no matter how hard you tried, and it utterly exhausted you.

lottie was your one constant throughout everything. she always had been. she was the one who, at the age of six, would pull your torn up art out of the trash when you weren’t looking, before spending all night taping each of the tiny pieces back together and returning them to you anonymously, with a smiley face and a note saying how beautiful it looked scrawled across the back.

your dynamic had always remained similar to this, and you knew that she loved you. every single inch of you. she reminded you of it every single morning in the mirror, and in every note she’d leave dotted around the house, with the same smiley face and handwriting that had been engrained into the very workings of your mind for decades. you loved her so much that it terrified you that she’d one day see you the way you see yourself in moments like this, that the love would one day slip - and she’d leave you.

no matter how hard she had tried to guide you into it, insisting that it’d help and that she’d never judge you, you had always refused to completely break down in front of her, or anyone, even in the crash, out of the sheer fear that consumed you.

you’d been avoiding her all day, having long predicted the inevitable - skipping your usual breakfast together in favour of ‘getting a head start on your jobs and classes’ and rushing around to ensure that your paths wouldn’t cross, knowing that she would’ve seen straight through you with even a glimpse in your direction. instead, you let the mere whispers in your head gain power and volume, until you were thoroughly overwhelmed, and lisa’s simple correction when you were helping load the van for the upcoming market sent you running off into the depths of the woods.

you had never learned your lesson in bottling everything up until it was too late, putting off talking about what was on your mind in hopes that it would resolve itself, and simply disappear. but they never did. not once. the bottle always got too full, shattering into sharp edges that cut into you before you could even flinch.

you buried your head into the coldness of your hands, as you shuddered, clinging onto the last shred of composure that you had before you completely broke down, as the looming darkness and distant echoes of your name pulled you from the depths of your thoughts, and sent even more panic surging through you.

lottie had felt deep inside, long before lisa had approached her full of concern for you, that something was up. she had been in your life for as long as she could remember, and no matter how hard you tried to shield it from her she always knew. it was just something in her. upon hearing about your sudden disappearance and your general demeanour, she too ran in the direction of the woods, almost directly mirroring your actions.

as the thickness of the trees enveloped her and her feet burned as she moved, she had a feeling she knew exactly where you would be. it was a habit you had adapted during the time you had been stranded. one that she had yet to of seen you you come to since then, disappearing and sitting against one specific tree when you were having one of your really bad moments and didn’t want her to see you.

there was a particular tree nearby that you had discovered together on a walk years ago, shortly after lottie’s return from switzerland and your reunion, your hands only once parting from one another’s to carve your initials into its bark. you had spent hours there, making up for the time that had been stolen from the pair of you, and it became your spot. lottie had since built the compound and had grown her community in the surrounding area, wanting to cherish the meaning of it and the part it had played in bringing you back together, and it had always remained an incredibly special place for the both of you.

she found you with ease, as if on autopilot, and almost melted with concern and relief as you came into her eyeline, her intuition proving correct. she rushed towards you, feeling her heart break as she kneeled down on the ground in-front of you, discarding the way her robe became dusted with mud as she guided you into the familiarity of her embrace. your walls crumbled miserably as her warmth enveloped you, and the tips of her fingers traced your back, the last kick of encouragement the sobs previously trapped in your chest needed to break free.

“i’m right here with you, sweetheart. i’m not going anywhere, just let it out.” she soothed, coaching your breathing as you trembled in her arms, tears dampening the softness of her clothing as you pressed your face further into her neck.

“i can’t, i can’t-” your face burned, as your chest tightened and a stream of incoherent apologies and cries fought past your lips.

“it’s okay, it’s okay. just look at me.” she spoke to you with such love and softness that it made you feel like the crumpled up pieces of art of yours that she was taping back together.

“i’m sorr-“ lottie lightly guided your chin, thumb caressing your cheek as you locked eyes.

“you have nothing to be sorry for. ever. you are everything to me, and i love you, all of you, unconditionally. i’m here baby, just breathe with me.” she pressed a kiss to your forehead, lingering for just a second longer and closing her eyes as she ever so gently rocked you, knowing without hesitation exactly how you needed to be comforted, like it was natural, a language that she was fluent in but yet never had to learn.

“things may feel impossibly hard to navigate right now, but i’ll do all of it for both of us, okay? put it all on me.”

you had never felt like you deserved the goodness, and pure light that was lottie. you didn’t think you ever truly would. she taught you not only how to receive love but how to love someone else, completely and through everything. allowing yourself be so vulnerable around somebody else, and beginning to let the long standing walls you had up was a challenge, but lottie matthews has never been just somebody to you.

and although things were complicated, and painful, and messy at times, she was your flicker of hope. that you could fight it.

that you could beat it.

[lotties-ashwagandha]

DON’T INDULGE

aunt’s best friend!lottie matthews x fem!reader. 4k words.

NSFW! minors dni. while your new house is being renovated, you’re staying with the sadecki family. they’re your relatives through your mother, who in the past was adopted as a shipman. you haven’t visited since you graduated from university years ago, and many of the changes the family has undergone are unexpected — it’s also unexpected when you find lottie matthews staying with them. based on a few anon requests I got!

“I’ve got that for you!” Jeff jogs over. He waves for you to step back from the trunk, hurrying to take your suitcase from your car.

You’re sentenced to staying with the Sadecki family for the next week. Your new house is being renovated, and while you were more than happy to have booked a hotel room for the necessary time, Shauna — your aunt — had insisted you save your money and stay as long as you needed. You hadn’t been able to decline her offer, especially with how long it’s been since you’d seen her despite living nearby. You now find yourself in her driveway, Jeff wrestling your belongings out of the car.

“There we go,” Jeff sets your suitcase down and holds out the handle for you to take, along with another tote bag you’d brought. “Not as fancy as a hotel, but you’ve still got a bellhop!”

“I hope you don’t expect a tip,” you tease. “Thank you for letting me stay.”

“Happy to help,” he nods. But despite his joyful demeanor, exhaustion lingers in his eyes. “It was Shauna’s idea, she thought it would be nice to have you.”

You offer him a smile, taking your luggage and starting up the driveway.

“Before you go inside,” Jeff stops you nervously, “you should know that Shauna has someone else staying with us. It’s just an old family friend, you’ll barely even see each other, but it’s good to be aware.”

“Who is it?”

Jeff hesitates. “Her name is Lottie. She’s going through a hard time, she just lost her home—”

“Charlotte Matthews?” You interrupt. “That woman from the plane crash that had the fucking cult and ended up on the news a few weeks ago?”

“Don’t call it a cult,” Jeff looks back toward the house. “She gets very angry when you use that word.”

You roll your eyes. Suddenly the prospect of stepping foot in the house seems very painful, and your future of staying under the same roof as an ex cult leader is quite unappealing.

“I understand if you’d like to go get a hotel, but Shauna was very adamant that you stay.”

It’s too late for that, you want to say, but you bite your tongue. Instead you take your belongings and go up the driveway wordlessly and step inside.

As soon as you step inside, you’re met with Callie. The first thing she does is groan at another visitor, the second thing she does is flip you off on her way to her room, and the third thing she does is turn so you can’t see the smile she’s disguising due to seeing you.

“Mom’s out with Misty,” Callie tells you, and before you can respond she steps into her room and slams the door behind her.

Jeff comes inside, shutting the front door. He clears his throat awkwardly, noticing the lack of warm reception you received, and once again designates it as his job to take your suitcases. “I’ll just get these off your hands… there’s a guest room down the hall there that you can stay in across from Lottie’s. We’re all going out to dinner tonight, so I’ll take these to your room, you can freshen up, and we’ll leave at six.”

“Thanks, Jeff…”

He nods curtly, walking off with your things. You watch him disappear into a guest room down the hall.

You look around the house for a moment before following. It’s been a while since you’ve visited, far too long. You take in the family pictures on the walls, some recognizable and others too new. You haven’t been in the house since around the time you graduated university a few years ago.

The sound of the blender being used in the kitchen makes you jump. You follow the sound, thinking it’s Shauna until you remember Callie’s warning — and by the time you turn the corner into the room, it’s too late.

You’re met with the sight of Lottie Matthews — feared cult leader, according to the news article you read — pouring a freshly-blended bright green smoothie into a glass. She looks up at you when she’s finished, wiping her hands on a kitchen towel. She assesses you, and you feel compelled to explain yourself even though neither of you have spoken a word. You feel like an intruder, though in theory this is more home to you than to her.

“I’m Shauna’s niece,” you say quickly. She seems to relax slightly. “I’ll be staying here for the week.”

“You’re in for a long week, then. The recycling situation here is a nightmare,” she tells you, looking away as she hunts through the kitchen drawers. “No regard for sustainability. Paper plates, plastic straws, disposable bottles everywhere. It’s like living at the dump.”

You smile, looking around the house. It’s much nicer than the one you’re moving into, it’s a house anyone would envy.

Lottie finally comes across a metal straw in a cutlery drawer — further evidence of her dedication to sustainability. She pops it into her drink and turns back to you, assessing you once more. She gives you her name, and you give her yours, to which she nods like she already knows and like she has known you all her life.

You glance out into the hallway before turning back to her. “Are you coming to dinner with us tonight?”

“No,” she smiles. “I bet you’re not, either.”

“Jeff invited me.”

“Did Shauna?” Lottie asks. You shake your head and she hums knowingly. “Ask Shauna.”

You’re growing lost, but you don’t question it. You’re too engulfed in simply being around her, in the intensity of her gaze as she looks down at you and in the rich floral scent of her perfume wafting through the kitchen. She runs a hand through her hair and you can’t help but let your gaze linger on her hands, on the expensive rings adorning her fingers and her freshly manicured nails.

Jeff saunters into the kitchen. “You’re all set!”

You tear your gaze from Lottie. “Thank you, Jeff.”

“No problem,” he backs away. He looks more anxious around Lottie than when you were alone with him in the driveway. He walks away down the hall, addressing you as he goes. “I’ll let Shauna know you’re here.”

Lottie waits until Jeff is out of earshot. “He showed me his linen closet earlier. Not much to brag about.”

“I just need you to keep an eye on her,” Shauna says in the secluded hallway she has cornered you in. “She can’t come to dinner, and I don’t trust her here alone.”

‘Ask Shauna,’ you recall Lottie telling you.

“I know you’re probably exhausted anyway,” Shauna continues. “Home renovations are horrible, I can’t imagine asking you out to dinner after the stress of it…”

You know she’s trying to justify asking you to stay home and watch Lottie. You suspect it’s the whole reason she asked you to stay while your home was being renovated, so that she could have someone to stay by Lottie’s side for a week and make sure she didn’t do anything uncalled for.

While you’re not thrilled with being tricked, Shauna is right — you are tired. You don’t really want to leave the house, even if it means a night in with Wiskayok’s favorite former cult leader.

Lottie emerges from one of the two guest rooms at the end of the hall. Shauna releases a newly irritable sigh as Lottie approaches.

“I should get going,” Shauna announces. “Jeff and Callie are waiting in the car. You two have fun.”

As she walks away, you glance down at the dress you’d put on while still under the impression that you would be going with them to dinner. Now you feel silly, overdressed and fooled into someone else’s plans.

“You’re not going?” Lottie asks, but her tone tells you that she already knows. “It’s a shame, you look so beautiful.”

You want to thank her, but the words get stuck in your throat. It makes you nervous to be under her gaze, nervous in a way that hints that you’ll soon be addicted to it. You enjoy the thrill of being praised by her, every compliment seeping into you and crawling beneath your skin.

“Come on,” she leads the way into the kitchen. “I found this gorgeous bottle of wine earlier.”

Before you can protest — it's not your wine, it’s not her wine either, you really just want to give up on the day and go to bed and sneak into the kitchen later for a small dinner — Lottie has the bottle open and is reaching for two glasses.

She looks back at you. “Is red wine okay?”

“Red wine is perfect.”

She smiles, handing you one of the glasses. “If anyone asks, though, I’m telling them it was your idea. They will take it better if it’s family stealing their wine.”

“I’m sure Shauna considers you family, anyway.”

Lottie hums in acknowledgment but offers no real answer. She leads you into the living room, sitting down on the sofa and gesturing to the spot next to her.

You sit down after a moment of hesitation. It feels invasive to be sitting so close to her after just a day of knowing her, stolen wine split between you, yet the casualness Lottie regards you with is soothing. She examines you like she is unraveling some great secret, looking into your heart and soul and digging around until she decides she is done.

Your eyes shift to the healing bullet wound on her arm, uncovered by the dress she wears, which is supposed to be matched with the caftan that has been draped over the armrest of the sofa.

Lottie follows your line of sight. “Your cousin shot me.”

You pause. You recall everything Callie told you over the phone about that night. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I don’t mind.”

“I would mind quite a lot if I got shot.”

“It was a mistake,” Lottie explains. “I didn’t die. It wouldn’t let me.”

“The wilderness?”

She looks surprised at your correctness. “I didn’t know Shauna was so open about what happened out there.”

“She’s not,” you say carefully. You try not to sound like a stalker when you speak again. “I read about you. What happened at your compound was all over the news.”

“You read about me,” Lottie repeats. She shifts a little closer to you and sets her wine glass down on the coffee table. “What did you read? What did the all-knowing sources say about me?”

You hesitate and take a sip of your wine.

“Go on,” she urges. “I want to know. Enlighten me.”

“They said you were dangerous,” you say quietly. “They said you had a history of unhinged behaviors.”

Again, Lottie smiles, though there is something different in the way she looks at you. Her gaze burns as it settles on you, and you meet her eyes when one of her hands comes to rest on your knee. “Do you believe them? Am I unhinged? Dangerous?”

Maybe. Yes, but you want it, you want her to drive you to unravel in the same way she has unraveled, just so you can feel alive in a way shared only between you. “No.”

“Are you sure?”

“Do you want me to say yes?”

“I want you to be honest,” her hand slides up, you look down at it for too long and when you meet her eyes again you look away just as fast. “Are you being honest with me?”

Not really. “Yes, of course.”

She knows you are lying. She pulls her hand away. “Good.”

“They say you’re very wealthy, too,” you add after a moment.

“My family is wealthy.”

“If your family is wealthy, why are you staying here?”

“Why are you staying here?” Lottie throws your own question back at you. “No one wants to be alone.”

She has a point. You didn’t want to be alone in a hotel while your new house was being renovated. You didn’t want to sit and worry about if everything would go as planned, or about any unexpected costs in the bill.

“I’m glad I’m not alone tonight,” Lottie says softly, sweetly in a way that’s intoxicating.

“I am, too,” you reply.

She takes a deep breath and releases it steadily. She is grounded in a way you are not. “You know so much about me. The crash, the wellness center, the wilderness. Tell me who you are.”

You can’t think of anything to tell — you are Shauna Sadecki’s niece. You graduated from university at the top of your class. You work a good job, have a good house in progress, a good car. You find yourself stuttering out a response that makes you seem wildly unimpressive and so painfully average that it’s embarrassing. Lottie watches you intently though, and she seems to comprehend all that you can’t convey.

You don’t expect her follow-up question: “Do you have a boyfriend?”

“No.”

“A girlfriend, then? Or someone else?”

She speaks to you like you’re younger than her, much less seasoned in life — then you remember that it’s true.

“No, I don’t,” you watch her closely to see her reaction, but she doesn’t give anything away. You decide to ask her the same question, like you’re both in high school getting ready to ask each other to the prom. It feels juvenile, but the only way to get an answer is through directness. “Do you?”

“I haven’t had time for anyone, with running the wellness center,” Lottie shakes her head contemplatively and picks up her wine glass again, taking a long sip. “I suppose I have lots of time now.”

You hear the grief in her voice, and maybe it’s the wine that has you so open, but you shift closer to her on the sofa. Lottie meets your eyes, offering you a grateful smile when you reach out for her free hand.

Something in her demeanor shifts — there is less contemplation in her tone, and a new suggestiveness has replaced it. “I need something to take for myself again. Something… to consume.”

With the wine clouding your head, you assume it’s okay to get a little esoteric. “I need a sense of direction.”

Lottie nods. “We’re a pair, then.”

She sets her glass down again and runs a hand over her face, a tired gesture that smudges the makeup around her eyes a little and makes a slight mess of her hair when her hand runs through it. The disheveledness only makes you want to be closer to her, to take away every bit of exhaustion and feeling of being lost and take it in yourself, to convert it into something more wholesome. You realize, with a bit of distress due to the forbidden nature of it, that you want to kiss her. You want to kiss one of your aunt’s best friends in the living room, and more if it comes to it.

“What are you thinking about?” Lottie asks.

You try to phrase it in a way less direct. “It’s like we’ve known each other much longer than a night.”

“A lifetime,” she agrees. Then she shakes her head, amused. “One of mine, two of yours.”

“One and a half of mine,” you correct.

“That does sound better. That doesn’t make me seem as horrible for…”

“For what?” You press. Lottie’s hand is still in yours. You run your thumb over her rings and both of you look down to see your fingers entwined.

She doesn't offer you an answer, but you discern it immediately when you look into her eyes. And once again you wonder if it’s the wine, but it’s a concern quickly dismissed, because you know she sees her desires reflected in you.

It is the wine that gives you the boldness to shift over to straddle her lap. Lottie’s hands find your hips instinctively, and there’s a distinct lack of hesitation from her when she looks up at you.

“What are you doing?” She asks. She already knows. “You know Shauna would be pissed. She could walk in through that door at any second. Are you willing to risk that?”

“Yes.”

She kisses you, a hand weaving into your hair and pulling slightly as she pulls you closer to her. It’s hard to process it as real, that earlier you were terrified of the cult leader sharing your aunt’s house and now you’re on her lap with one of her hands traveling up your shirt to grab at your chest while your hips move instinctively and have you grinding down onto her, hearing her moan muffled by how you kiss her.

Lottie pushes you to lay down on the couch, barely breaking contact for a moment before she’s on top of you, kissing you and pulling at your dress.

“So fucking beautiful,” she murmurs, a hand trailing down the low neckline of your dress. “Did you think about me when you were deciding what to wear? Did you hope I would notice how fucking desperate you are?”

“I’m not desperate,” you try, but you help her eagerly to get your dress off of you.

“No?” Lottie looks down at you. “No, you’re not desperate, you’re just lying here waiting for me to fuck you, but you’re not desperate?”

You’re done with the games, you need her. You pull her back down to you, capturing her in a kiss that saves you from humiliating yourself any further, until she reaches down and runs a finger through you and feels how wet you are already.

Suddenly, the lock on the front door down the hall begins to jiggle and you hear Shauna and Jeff’s voices beyond, and Callie talking on the phone with one of her friends.

“Fuck,” Lottie jumps off of you, tossing you a blanket to wrap yourself in. When you freeze, she gestures wildly toward where the bedrooms are. “Go!”

You make a run for it, scurrying down the hall until you’re met with the door to your guest room — and it’s right across from Lottie’s.

But when the front door opens, you don’t go into your room… you go into hers.

You hear the front door open and the family’s greetings to Lottie. You take a deep breath when Shauna asks where you are, and release it heavily when Lottie tells her you went to bed just a little while ago. You listen to their footsteps as they come closer, until everyone parts into their designated rooms.

You drop the blanket and toss it aside, along with your clothes that you had gathered from the couch. You step over to the bed and sit down.

Another set of footsteps comes down the hall and Lottie slips into the bedroom. Her eyes widen at seeing you — clearly she thought this was a failed attempt, and you see the conflict in her expression.

“We have to be quiet,” she warns and climbs onto the bed with you. She doesn’t give you a chance to answer, just pulls you into another hungry kiss and pushes you down to lay back against the pillows. “You can be a good girl for me, can’t you?”

You nod, and it’s satisfying enough for her to start rubbing circles into your clit. You suck in a gasp and again she urges you to be quiet. You arch your back in an attempt for more, but she hums in disapproval, pulling her hand back from between your thighs.

You look up at her. “What are you doing?”

“Be patient, darling.”

You suppress a whine as she sits between your legs, running her hands over your thighs reverently. She presses a soft kiss to one of your knees before moving down further, kissing her way down your thighs before hovering above where you need her — and you make eye contact with her in the moment before her tongue connects with your clit.

You wake up in Lottie’s arms. She’s spooning you from behind, with her head tucked into your neck and an arm curled around your waist to keep you pressed against her. She’s still asleep, even when you shift to lay on your back and she readjusts to rest her head on your chest instead.

You lay there for a while like that, with a hand on her bare back tracing random patterns as you think over the night before. A pleasant soreness has taken hold of your body, a heavy, exhausted weight that you don’t mind as long as she’s in your arms.

Lottie shifts awake. She pulls back a little, almost like she is embarrassed at how close she let herself get to you. She sits up next to you and checks the alarm clock on the bedside table for the time.

“It’s early,” she whispers. She looks down at you. “You should get some more sleep.”

Your gaze shifts to the bedroom door. “I should go back to my own room… I don’t want anyone to see me leaving yours.”

Lottie frowns. “I don’t want you to go.”

“I’ll come back tonight,” you promise. “We have all week.”

The hint of a smile passes over her lips and she straddles you, pressing gentle, even domestic, kisses to your neck. “I want more than a week.”

“Greedy,” you murmur. She hums in agreement. “Come on… I have to go.”

Lottie sighs, but she lets you up. You feel her eyes on your bare form as you get dressed in your clothes from last night, and she meets your gaze when you look back at her. “Find me later.”

“I will.”

You go over to the bedroom door and open it a crack, peering out into the hallway. When you don’t see anyone you step out tentatively. Your guest room is just across the hall, and if you step very quietly…

Callie’s bedroom door opens. She steps out, scoffing and crossing her arms when she sees you dressed in your clothes from last night. “Nice pajamas.”

You freeze, turning to face her, your own heart beating so rapidly you can hear it thrumming. You say the first thing that comes to mind. “Please don’t tell anyone.”

“What, that I saw you sneaking out of Lottie’s room at—”

“Don’t,” you plead. “Your mother would be—”

The door to Shauna and Jeff’s shared bedroom opens. Before it can swing open all the way, you rush over to your guest room and shut the door behind you. You don’t think you were quick enough to escape undetected, but relief rushes over you when Shauna speaks.

“Callie, who were you talking to? It’s early.”

“My friends. On my phone. I have a fucking social life, unlike some of the people living here.”

You lean back against your door, sighing. For now, you’re okay.

Breakfast is tense later, though primarily on your end. Lottie seems to have no issue with the fact that last night she fucked her best friend’s niece, nor is there any apprehension in the way she addresses Shauna pleasantly and welcomingly all morning. Lottie barely spares you a second glance as the three of you have coffee together, speaking enthusiastically with Shauna as you sit there in silence in the kitchen.

“Hey, can I talk to you for a second?” Shauna suddenly turns to you. You nod, and she stands and leads you into the living room out of earshot. “Last night I asked you to keep an eye on Lottie and you went to bed at, like, nine.”

“I did keep an eye on her,” you try. “We were together all night.”

“Apparently not.”

Little does she know.

The two of you stand in a less than pleasant silence — until Lottie steps out into the hall with you. She has somehow acquired your keys and stands there waving them at you.

“Are you ready to go?” Lottie asks.

“Go where?”

“Oh, come on,” she comes over, gesturing to the front door. “The plans we made last night. Don’t tell me you were too drunk to remember.”

Shauna raises her eyebrows. “You two drank last night? Aren’t you medicated?”

“Come on,” Lottie waves you over, ignoring her. You hurry out the door behind her, letting her into the car when she tosses you your keys.

You start the car. “Where are we going?”

Lottie looks back at the house as you pull away. “Somewhere we can be alone.”

hello hello i hope you enjoyed :) let me know if you liked this fic, it’s longer than i usually post but i enjoyed writing a longer fic!!! pls drop a like or a reblog if you wanna and i will kiss you on the lips. also i proofread but im sleepy so i probably missed something or formatted something wrong. ignore it.

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[kissingmilfs]

my darling lamb!au | lottie matthews

summary: cult leader, lottie matthews, finally finds the perfect prey for the hunt. a sweet, innocent lamb to make all hers. introduction to this universe.

cw: 18+, primal kink, oral (r receiving)

a/n: moonstone symbolizes fertility, innocence and linked w/goddess energy. dedicated to my girlfriend @pocolottie

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

the blind fold’s lifted from your eyes and you can’t really make out your surroundings. your feet are bare on the damp, cold ground. the sound of crackling fire and owls hooting fill your ears. once your vision starts to clear, you see you’re in the middle of a circle.

everyone around you is dressed in purple. they’re all staring, expectantly. you look down at your white dress that’s brushing against your ankles. you can’t even remember how you got here. or why you’re here. your memory is still foggy and missing vital pieces.

you hear the crunching of dry leaves from the distance. the group all redirects their eyes towards the person walking down the path. at first all you can make out is her waist length hair, and her floor length red dress. the circle opens up for her the closer she gets.

the woman smiles brightly at you like you’re supposed to know who she is. the smile is familiar and warm. she extends her arms towards you. you curiously stare at her. someone gently pushes you towards her. understanding the hint, you walk forward until you’re only a feet or two apart. the mysterious woman’s smile widens even more.

“we’ve all been waiting for you, my darling lamb.”

the woman’s voice is mellow and sweet with a touch a raspiness. it’s a hint deeper than most women’s voices you’ve heard. nonetheless it stirs unfamiliar yet warm feelings in your stomach. you look around the circle again then back at the woman. searching for answers but finding none.

you feel a soft touch on your cheek. the woman’s hands are slightly calloused but not too noticeable. it certainly doesn’t take away from the warm sparkle in her eyes. or how she’s holding your face like you’re a porcelain doll. fragile, delicate, and innocent.

“we have to start soon. you’ll figure it out.”

the woman drops her hand from your face then proceeds to address the group.

“my faithful acolytes, the time is upon us. we’ve secured our lamb, our sacrifice. now the hunt can begin.”

the words incentive panic in your body. you nervously look around the group but no one else seems worried. this is what they were waiting for. you’re the lamb heading to the slaughter. you search for an escape but the circle is too tight. someone walks behind the woman with antlers. they’re decorated with a mesh cloth passing her shoulders, flowers, and leaves. the woman looks mystical, other worldly. she’s transformed right before your eyes into a queen.

someone stands behind you, jostling you out of your trance. a necklace is fastened and secured around your neck. looking down a cylinder shaped pendant made out of moonstone nestles perfectly between your cleavage. it’s half wrapped in a purple metal the shape of a flower. it’s a rather stunning piece of jewelry. maybe unnecessary if these people are about to kill you.

the circle starts breaking then a gong is hit in the distance. the woods become eerily quiet. your breathing picks up as anxiety creeps over you. the woman steps aside so you have a clear view of the deep woods.

“the hunt commences.”

she looks over at with a pleased smile.

“run.”

the word is uttered so softly, you might have missed it. but it’s too quiet. it’s like everyone is holding their breath. the command hits your ears and your body responds. you hold the hem of your dress darting off into the unknown woods. your feet hit the damp forest floor over and over. leaving behind footprints you’re unaware of. the only light guiding you is the half moon and the abundant stars. these woods are unfamiliar. everything looks the same when you’re running, scared for your life. it’s all a blur as you run deeper and deeper into the woods.

the antler queen hadn’t made any effort to follow you. that may have surprised you if you knew. or was even listening for someone behind you. instead the woman is preparing to find you. she knows these woods better than any one of her followers. the woman haunts these woods every night. aimlessly walking them when the moon is high. she knew, eventually, you’d tire of running and opt to hide until sunrise. it’s a logistically sane solution. it’s what she wanted you to do.

you were needed helpless and fearful. hope seeping out of you every second you ran. she needed you desperate for salvation and rescue. then the woman would appear. a beckon of hope. she had it all planned out. leading the scared, innocent lamb into the jaws of a very hungry queen.

someone presents the woman with a phone. it’s tracking your frantic movements throughout the woods. it wasn’t necessarily needed, but it would make the hunt end faster. the tracker is imbedded in the pendant snug between your bosom. the group waits and waits until you have no option but to rest.

the adrenaline coursing through your body can only last so long. soon your feet start to feel raw and your head throbs. your dress snags on a branch causing you to stumble over your feet. you land painfully on your elbows, scrapping your knees and hands in the process. the pain is exaggerated by how tired, cold and scared you are. you have zero survival skills for this situation. the thought of death frightens you. yet you cannot will yourself to continue running. your back is parallel to a tree. all you can do is sob and wait for someone to find you.

you stopped a lot earlier than expected. that’s not a problem for the woman. the blinking dot alerts her exactly where in the forest you’re resting. the woman has no further need for the device or her acolytes. she sends everyone away then starts her journey into the woods. your footsteps are embedded on the soft dirt floor making it even easier to track you. the woman follows them meticulously, putting her own feet in the tracks. your cry starts to echo the closer the queen gets. the cry of a defeated and lost lamb.

you’re found crying with your head buried between your legs. even then the cries are hard to muffle in the outdoor space. the woman’s soft footsteps aren’t heard over your tears though. she squats to your eye level and lightly touches your shoulder. you jump in fear. your watery, swollen eyes meet the woman’s face. she offers you a sympathetic and understanding smile.

“shh…it’s okay, little lamb. i found you.”

your body trembles with fear. more tears spill down your cheeks. the woman coos at you replacing the hand on your shoulder to your cheek. her thumb rubs soothingly across your skin.

through your tears and sobbing, you manage to choke out, “are you…are you gonna kill me now?”

your captor’s face contorts in confusion. “kill you? why would i do that? i’ve waited far too long for you. no, no, my darling lamb. that’s not what the hunt is about.”

the woman stands once again to her full height. she extends a hand to help you up. once on your feet she steps forward forcing you to step back. her eyes sparkle mischievously.

“no need to be scared, my sweet angel. i promise i’ll never hurt you. i have no intentions on hurting such a precious thing like yourself.”

“what do you want from me?”

the woman chuckles. she doesn’t answer your question at first. instead her hands meticulously remove the antler crown from her head. once it’s set aside, she positions her hands on your waist. she leans into your neck taking a sharp inhale of your scent. your innocence is practically seeping out of you. the smell is refreshing yet provocative. her lips brush against your skin but barely. the sensation replicates a soft breeze tickling your neck.

“isn’t it obvious? i want you. my precious little lamb—all mine.” she whispers near the shell of your ear. “the hunt isn’t over quite yet.”

you’re about to ask the woman what she means but she’s faster than your thoughts. without hesitation she sinks to her knees in front of you. a soft gasp escapes from you. the woman lifts the skirt of your dress, revealing your naked cunt. throughout the whole experience it never dawned on you that you were without underwear. the woman tips her head back slightly to stare up at you. her brown eyes are brimmed with excitement. you both maintain eye contact as her lips press against your thigh. an immediate moan vibrates in her throat.

you stare with inquisitive eyes. you’ve never witnessed such a sight before. the unadulterated hunger written all over her face. her arms wrapped around your legs as if she’s scared you’ll escape. you’ve never had anyone kiss you elsewhere but on your lips. you think you should be telling her to stop. or maybe protesting and fighting. yet your body relaxes the more her lips leave heated kisses on your chilled skin.

the woman’s nose finally bumps against your bare pussy. you jerk forward but find your balance by holding her shoulders. she presses her hand against your stomach, pushing you back against the tree. her tongue cautiously parts your folds taking her first taste of you. you sharply inhale at the new sensation. she waits for you to say, stop, but it never comes. instead your legs partly open wider, silently asking for more. you feel her tongue slowly drag down the length of your cunt. it’s agonizing yet addictive. your body senses there’s more to be done with her tongue. more the woman is holding back on. your timidity and inexperience prevents you on asking for more.

it’s all the same for the woman on her knees. even if you’d work up the courage, she needed to savor the experience. cherish every inch, memorize your taste, document your sensitive spots. the tip of her tongue curls over your clit, slowly lapping at the sensitive bud. her warm tongue juxtaposed with the cold night air enhances the sensation. your entire being feels her tongue on your cunt. you let out a shaky whimper once the minstrels turn into long licks. her tongue presses flat heading downward then the tip teases your clit as she lazily drags it upwards. she interchanges between concentrating on your clit to the long, gradual licks.

it felt wrong to have a queen on her knees, worshiping and drinking from you. every time you glimpsed down this woman is staring back at you which such adoration and marvel. even when her tongue pushes inside you and she starts bobbing her head to drive it deeper. the moans spill out of you like a hushed prayer.

“oh god…”

the woman peels back only by an inch to finally utter her name to you.

“lottie will suffice, dear.”

[valemrsn]

lottie matthews textpost

[braidlottie]

tempest

summary: after waking up from a hellish nightmare, lottie finds a way to put you back to sleep.

tags: hurt/comfort that leads to smut, 18+ (minors dni), nsfw, mommy kink, transmasc!reader, fingering, soft!mommy!lottie :33

“hey, hey. honey it’s alright.” lottie cupped your face as your eyes shot open from the nightmare you had. “oh, baby. you had a nightmare, didn’t you?”

you nodded, trying to think about lottie comforting you instead of the terrible dream. she brought your head into her chest, feeling your ragged breathing against her breasts. “oh, sweetie, you’re shaking. it’s alright.” the two of you spent a couple minutes in that position before lottie tried to get you back to sleep.

she laid you back down, thinking she would see your eyes flutter close, but instead you looked up at her with big glossy eyes. “let’s get you back to sleep, baby.” she stroked your face, then rubbing your chest. you grabbed her wrist, sliding her hand down from your chest to the pouch of your boxers.

lottie chuckled, shaking her head. “will that really help you get to sleep?” you nodded, moving her hand further down. “please, mommy.”

her hand slipped under the waistband of your boxers, pulling them down. she watched you prop yourself up on your elbows, smiling sweetly at the soft whine falling from your lips as she rubbed your tdick in circles, teasing your hole.

your breathing sped up again, sounding similar to when you first had awoken from your dream. “aww, poor baby,” lottie tsked. “must’ve been so scared from that nightmare, hmm?” she watched you nod, mouth slightly agape and whimpering. “mommy’s got you now.. such a good boy.”

“mm.. close.” you whispered, sock covered toes curling at the feeling. lottie shushed your moans, watching at the stress and fear leave your body as she slipped her middle finger into your cunt, still playing with your tdick. “you gonna cum? yeah? maybe that’ll help you sleep, sweetheart.” she slipped in her ring finger and pumping in and out a little more faster.

it didn’t take you that long to cum, you felt so pent up, you just wanted to let it all out. “that’s it. such a good little boy.”

she pulls your boxers back up and wipes her hand with some kleenex on the bedside table. you were already cuddling her when she laid back down, feeling yourself get sleepier by the second.

lottie just chuckled and rubbed your back, remembering to use her new bedtime remedy more.

[kessellluvr]

˗ˏˋ once in a lifetime ´ˎ˗ nsfw!

pairing: professor!lottie x spouse!reader (i might write more for this ‘series’) wordcount: 1k

warnings: smut, vibrator use, age gap, mommy kink, fingering, dirty texing, teasing

ʚɞ ⁺˖ ⸝⸝ taglist: @glrlsriot @chig78 @nogenderblender9358 @mayasaurusss @jadeisnothere5

You and lottie have been married for about 5 years now, she was the perfect partner for you. The day you first saw her in that café, oh damn, you fell in love with her.. that long black braid, the layered strands that framed her face so perfectly, defining her high cheekbones and that beautiful jawline. You repeatedly went to that café, praying to see her again - and well, somehow you ended up marrying that goddess.

Lottie worked alot, but she was passionate about her job - helping people to get further education to success in life. Of course, it was hard only seeing her on weekend and in the evenings, but you managed. Lottie teaches psychology and maths (sorry not sorry), you didnt have a clue about either of them so you werent really a big help. You and Lottie text alot when shes at work, just talking and when you realise she wasnt in a good mood, you decided to lighten it up a little..

“Hey Lots, i miss you..” you sent, still laying in bed even tho it was 11:30am already. Lottie could never, she’s always been an early bird.

“I miss you too.” she texted you back and oh that was dry, wasnt it? She usually uses pet names in her texts, trying to get you worked up. “You okay?” you asked her, sighing to yourself as you put the phone aside, throwing the blanket off yourself and sitting up. Your phone vibrated on the bedside table and you went to check what she replied.

“Im fine, really.” you read, raising your eyebrow and scoffing. “No Lots, youre not, talk to me. I can tell youre pissed.” you werent gonna give up that fast. As she read your message and didnt reply, you felt a little sting in your heart. Leaving you on seen? Really? Anyway, you went to get out of bed, leaving your phone on the bedside table and making your way into the bathroom. You stared at yourself for a good minute before splashing some water in your face, drying it off with a towel before going to brush your teeth.

As you finished getting ready, slipping into some pj’s and a shirt, you went to check your phone again. Still, no answer. You sighed and decided to try something else - lifting your shirt and taking a quick picture of your tummy, the soft curve of your boobs peaking from beneath your shirt. You hit the sent button and added another message “Answer me..” Fuck. That sounded desperate.

Meanwhile, Lottie saw your message - raising a brow and opening the picture, her eyes going wide as she looked at it for a while, trying not to show how much it affected her since she was literally in a room full of colleagues right now. “Jesus.. im just a little pissed off cause we got our new schedule in, i have to work full eight hours on friday.”

Your eyes lit up as you finally saw her respond, reading her message before typing “Awh that sucks.. but youll get home earlier on other days then, right?” you asked and she replied with a “yes”, you smiled - finally you could get to see her more throughout the week. I mean, that one day of working full wasnt gonna hurt, right?

“So, are you teaching right now or are ya on break?”

“just started my lecture.” you smiled at your phone, deciding to tease her a little. “mhm, im feeling horny right now.. mommy what do i do?”

“jeez, you know what to do.” you just knew she was trying so hard not to show a reaction infront of her students.

“no, tell me what to do mommy..”

“get the bullet vibrator we got you.” lottie texted back, you smiled brightly at your phone and rushed into the bedroom to get the vibrator. it was rather small, a bullet-like shape but a little bigger. it was a hot pink colour, even had tons of diffrent levels.

“hm i got it..”

“take off your boxers, turn it on lowest level and press it against ur pretty little clit.” and you did as she said, pulling down your sweatpants along with your boxers and turning the toy on lowest level, spreading your legs and pressing it lightly onto your clit - gasping as it made contact. “done” you typed out - hands shaky.

lottie left your message on seen, you didnt really notice - getting lost in yourself. the bedroom door swung open and revealed lottie, you gasped once again and lottie just chuckled. “fucking hell, you werent gonna cum without me telling you to, were you?” she teased as she walked towards the bed, undoing the buttons of her blouse and throwing it to the floor carelessly. “n-no lottie..” you stammered out, the vibrator was turned off and laid to the bedside table. “d-dont you have some lectures to do?”

“fuck that. i said i wasnt feeling well.” lottie said while going to straddle your hips, pushing your upper body down to the bed. you bit your lip, looking up at her with needy eyes. lottie smirked down at you, leaning down to press a kiss on your lips, her tounge slowly pushing in and meeting the tip of yours. her hand slipped between you both, her finger grazing over your swollen, wet clit. you moaned into the kiss, feeling her applying more pressure to your sensitive bud, slowly circling it while not breaking the kiss. she pulled her lips off of yours, gasping for air while going to press her fingers against your entrance- slowly pushing in and curling up, making you throw your head back. she started pumping her fingers faster, making you gasp and moan, you felt yourself so close to cumming already - lottie just knew where to touch you to make you come quck. your moans got louder, more desperate for release. “cum for mommy..” and you did, letting yourself get consumed by the orgasmic pleasure as you cried out her name, your thighs clenching together. lottie kept fingering you through your orgasm - until she finally pulled out and looked at you with a satisfied smile. “now, let me take a shower and we’ll continue..”

“can i join..?” you asked, still catching your breath as you looked at her with those cute eyes. “cmon then.”

━。゜AN: i know its not much, but i hope you enjoyed >_<

[sadsapphic-rose]

the allure of a long lost prophet

lowkey featuring kidnapper!lottie

word count is 9,424

honestly not totally sure what this is, after episode four of the new season i was kind of struck with inspiration and this was the result

lottie matthews x reader, past and present timelines, mild hints at reader having a bit of a thing for praise but no smut, hurt/comfort kinda?, other canon typical warnings but there’s honestly nothing too crazy, i feel like i’ve written everything pretty mild but i wanted to add the warnings just in case!

if anyone reads, pls PLS be gentle, this is my first time posting anything i’ve written and i’m honestly rlly nervous about it lol

also fair warning i don’t have anyone to edit so it was just me rereading and trying to fix any errors i came across. sorry if there are any lingering mistakes!

sorry for the long intro, here it is!!

Autumn (2021) Present Day

Your unconscious mind is hazy, showing you flashes of memories you’d long since buried. The crash, the wilderness, the cold of that first winter… the hunger. Things you wish would stay hidden in the recesses of your brain.

You remember running, the hunter turned prey. Always running, desperately fleeing your imminent demise.

Consciousness dawns slowly and as you wake up, several things register at once. First: the unfamiliar environment. You’re in a room not your own, sparsely furnished and rather foreboding. Second: the blinding headache, as if your very skull was splitting open. And third, and perhaps most importantly: your wrists are bound behind you. You’re sat in a chair, body aching in protest. Not necessarily at the position itself that you’re seated in, but the fact that you’ve mostly likely been here for quite some time. At least an hour or two if you had to guess, given the numbness setting into your extremities.

“Well, fuck.” You don’t even register that you’ve spoken out loud. Kidnapped, you think. Just your luck. As the reality of the situation begins to set in so does the fear of what’s to come.

In a crazed frenzy you tug and pull at the ropes to no avail, only succeeding in scraping your wrists raw. You refuse to cry out for help, wary of who might answer. With a huff you give up on that particular venture, taking deep breathes in an attempt to calm yourself and form a useful and coherent thought. Thankfully one comes in the form of a helpful realization. Those idiots who kidnapped you didn’t think to check your pockets. You’re able to shimmy one hand into your back pocket and grab your pocket knife. You grimace, remembering the day your father gave it to you. He wasn’t good for much but he did have the occasional fatherly win. This was one of them.

You open it, bending and twisting uncomfortably to saw through the restraints binding you. Once free, you assess the damage done to your wrists, grimacing at the reddened skin. You spot a few places where the skin has broken open but decide to ignore it for now in favor of escaping.

As tempted as you are to examine the room for clues at to who might’ve taken you and what they might want, you need to leave. The next problem on your list: the fucking door is locked because of course it is. Easily solved by… you contemplate, looking around. Your eyes lock in on the pair of windows to your left. An attempt at opening them is fruitless but you had anticipated that much. You wonder if jumping through one of the windows could work. Your captors may have thought to lock them but they certainly wouldn’t expect you to pull something like this. Be it panic or sheer idiocy, you brace yourself and dive through the glass and onto the porch outside. With surprisingly minimal damage from the shattered glass you scoff slightly, not expecting that to have worked out nearly as well as it did. A quick look around reveals absolutely zero sign of familiar scenery. Dense forest seemingly surrounds you at every angle and it is at this moment that the panic that had been brewing inside of you fully takes hold. With little thought you break into a run, truly aimless in direction with one goal in mind: escape.

As you run, you can feel branches snagging on your clothes and scraping at your skin. While you pass other cabins similar to the one you were locked in, you hear distant shouts and various voices calling out to each other. The panic worsens and you fear being caught at any moment.

Winter (1996)

You’re running… faster than you thought possible, absolutely frantic in your efforts to get away. It chose. You can feel the weight of that damned necklace resting on your collarbone. Thoughts of Jackie surface and you sob. You can’t share her fate. You have to find a way to survive… no matter what.

Present Day

Running faster, you heave for breath, panting in exertion. You curse the universe for giving you asthma as you begin to feel an attack coming on. Wheezing sets in and you eventually have to stop to catch your breath. The forest goes quiet. All that can be heard is your breathing and a primal, ice cold fear shoots down your spine as you feel a presence behind you. You turn slowly, shaking slightly. Lottie fucking Matthews in all her glory approaches and opens her arms out wide. For a moment you’re tempted to fall into her embrace like you did all those years ago in the wilderness. Instead, you turn on your heels and bolt in the opposite direction once more. Just when you think you’ve lost her, fate in her infinite humor causes you to trip. You land harshly on the ground and manage to get the wind knocked out of you. Through gasping breaths you get back up, ready to run again but she’s already there in front of you.

“Please, don’t hurt me”, You whimper, “I just wanna go home.”

“Hurt you?” She frowns, “Darling, I’m here to protect you. You’re mine, remember? My sweet little dove. I would never ever hurt you.” You can feel it then, the pull towards her, like it never went away. “You’re meant to be here… can’t you feel it?” You let out a confused whining sound, tears falling from your eyes. “Shhh, hush now, love. You’re alright.” She comes close and wipes your tears as they fall. “I’ll take care of you, like I did before, you just have to let me.”

“L-Lottie, I— I don’t understand, please…” That all consuming panic returns, clouding your mind.

“It’s okay, calm yourself, dove. You are exactly where you need to be.”

“N-no, I— I don’t belong here, I need to go…” Breathing properly becomes a near impossible task and you begin to hyperventilate.

“You’re safe here, darling. This is all for your own good.” Your breaths come faster and faster, your head growing fuzzy and light. She puts a hand on your chest, guiding you to slow your breathing. You fight it at first, the panic too strong but eventually you calm, sagging into her. She holds you in a strong embrace, rocking you slowly from side to side. “That’s it.” She coos. “Good girl.” Your chest warms at the praise. As much as you hate to admit it, you missed this, you missed her.

“Lottie why am I here?” You murmur into her shoulder.

“You tell me. I searched for years only to find you like this… broken, alone, a shell of your former self. I couldn’t leave you like that, not after everything we’ve been through together.”

You tremble as she refers to the wilderness. The things that occurred over 25 years ago still fresh in your mind, haunting you despite many (albeit futile) attempts to move on.

“You feel it too, don’t you?” She continues, “The pull. It wants this, us… together again.” You step away despite her trying to keep you close in her arms. “There’s no use denying it, no use fighting. It’s still in us, it never left and you know as well as I do that it has a way of getting what it wants.”

“No.” You shake your head. “No, Lottie I— I can’t do this, not again. Please…” You cut yourself off, bringing a hand to your mouth and holding your other arm around your stomach. The very thought of your gruesome survival and the things you had to do back then bring a wave of nausea over you. You had barely made it out alive and even then, the guilt was enough to make you wish you hadn’t. “I— I won’t.”

She stills, stone faced. “Oh really?” You nod, trying your best to stay resolute and ignore the damn near magnetic allure of her words. It’s difficult, Lottie is as captivating as ever. She hums at your insistence. “Somehow I doubt that. You’re strong, my love, but at some point you must realize you can’t do this alone.” You falter, recognizing the truth in her words. “It’s okay to rely on others, to rely on me, just like you used to. I’ll protect you. I’ll keep you safe and help you heal. You never have to be alone again.” Your heart stutters in your chest. As much as you’d hate to admit it out loud, she’s having an effect on you.

“Come here.” She’s stern, commanding. You balk at the audacity… and yet you can’t help but obey. She brings you into her arms once again. “See darling? How easy that was?”

“Lottie…”

“You’re going to stay here, at Camp Green Pine, and I am going to help you. I’m afraid I won’t take no for an answer.”

You give in and at long last your racing thoughts quiet. It’s safe here, in Lottie’s arms. It always has been. You relax into her hold.

“There you go, good girl.” Burying your face into her shoulder you catch a whiff of her perfume. It’s different from what she wore when she was young but somehow still familiar and so very Lottie. “Come, I’ll take you back to your cabin and we can get you settled for the night.” She begins leading you back through the forest, a guiding hand on the small of your back. As backwards as it sounds, giving up control is rather freeing. And when it’s Lottie? Giving up control comes to you as easily as breathing does.

As you walk, you distractedly rub at your scraped wrists, the soreness from the rope burn setting in. She notices your movements and frowns.

“I am sorry about the circumstances of your arrival here, I had hoped to at least be there when you woke to ease you into things.”

“Yeah, well…” You trail off with a shrug. She stops walking and turns to you.

“May I see?” You nod wordlessly and allow her to take your wrists into her hands. They’re smooth and warm, soothing to the newly formed scrapes and bruises. She tuts, a crease in her brow. “You must’ve put up quite the struggle to cause such injuries. We’ll get you some first aid and then it’ll be off to bed with you.”

Her tone is chiding, motherly. She continues walking, leading you to a cabin in the distance. Autumn leaves crunch under your feet and you find it nice to focus on something other than your current predicament. You shiver as a particular frigid breeze blows through. You’re certainly not dressed for the weather, only in a long sleeve t-shirt and jeans. She pulls you closer, rubbing a hand up and down your arm. “We’re nearly there, the nurses station is just over this way.”

“You have a whole nurses station here?” You question, deeply confused.

“It’s just a precaution, I’d much rather have it just in case as opposed to being caught unprepared. Plus, it’s much easier than driving all the way into town for a minor illness or injury.”

“Right…” You mumble. A thought comes to mind. “You are pretty secluded all the way out here, is that intentional?”

“Many people find it quite healing to be this far away from the rest of society, myself included.” You don’t have time to ponder the ramifications of that sentence because she stops suddenly at the door of a building.

“Here we are.” She pulls out a set of keys and unlocks the door, bringing you through and reaching to flip on a nearby light switch. What meets your eye is a room not unlike the school nurse’s office you frequented in your youth. You stand awkwardly in place as Lottie rummages around, gathering various medical supplies. “Sit.” She gestures to the bed. You hesitate briefly but a stern look from Lottie has you moving to do as she says. You wring your hands together nervously, always one to be uncomfortable in any medical situation, even one as unconventional as this. You think back to the weeks after your rescue. Each and every one of your surviving teammates had to stay in that hospital. You tense at the thought of it. She lays a gentle hand over yours. “It’s alright, I’m just going to clean your scrapes and bandage them up.”

“Right, sorry.” Your hands still and you fight the urge to fidget in another way to compensate. You settle on chewing at your bottom lip. Lottie is quick and precise as she takes some kind of antibacterial wipe and gently cleans your wounded skin. She rubs some antibiotic ointment over the worst of the scrapes and then carefully wraps some gauze around each wrist, securing them with a bit of medical tape.

“There, see? All better.”

“Thanks, Lottie.” She hums in acknowledgement and reaches a hand out. You take it instinctively, almost scoffing at your own compliance but following her regardless. The two of you walk in silence, both lost in thought. Eventually you come upon a seemingly random cabin, only distinguishable from the others by the number on the door. 296.

“I trust you’ll be alright until morning without further incident?” You nod sheepishly. “Good… sleep well, darling. If you need anything before then, my cabin is just over that way.” She gestured vaguely to your left but in the dark it’s hard to make out anything in the distance. “Number 320.” She brings a hand up to cup your cheek briefly before nodding once and turning to leave. You stand there on the porch, dumbfounded for a moment, before shaking your head and begrudgingly deciding to go in and at least try to get some rest.

As you enter the space you take notice of the fact that it looks overall much nicer than the one you initially woke up in. It’s fully furnished and decorated nicely. There seems to be a living area, a bedroom, a bathroom and a small kitchen as well. Maybe, you decide, living here for a bit won’t be too bad. You look in the closet, hoping for a change of clothes before you resign yourself to sleeping either in jeans or without pants. To your surprise it’s stocked. A monochrome wardrobe of purple. You shrug, thinking you’ll take what you can get and pick out something to sleep in. Once you’re changed you flop bonelessly into the bed, sighing deeply at the mess of a day you’ve had. Exhaustion hits you hard and you damn near immediately fall into a deep, dreamless sleep.

_________________________________________________

The morning rays of sun peek through the curtains of your room, shining on your face. You wake slowly, not yet fully processing where exactly you are. Blinking blearily, you rub the sleep from your eyes. A groan escapes you as the events of last night fully register in your tired brain. You lay there for a moment, palm to forehead before giving yourself a mental pep talk. ‘It’s going to be fine. There’s nothing weird going on, just a friendly group of… purple people. Totally not a cult run by an ex.’

With a yawn you haul yourself out of bed, mentally preparing yourself for the day ahead. You take off the bandages on your wrists and inspect the damage. The bruises look worse but the scrapes have scabbed over and you think you can leave them uncovered as they finish healing. You eventually decide to shower before facing whatever fresh hell Lottie has cooked up and search around for towels. You find them in a hall closet, more purple. You shrug, it’s definitely not the weirdest thing about this place. Taking one from the stack you make your way to the bathroom. You start the water and undress while waiting for it to heat up. Avoiding your reflection in the mirror, you step under the stream. You sigh, standing motionless under the falling water for a moment before mechanically going through your shower routine. Thankfully like the closet, the shower is stocked with anything one might need and you gladly use the products provided. Once finished, you turn off the water and step out, drying off with your towel. You grab another set of clothing from the closet and get dressed, only slightly perturbed at the fact that everything seems to be in your size. Once ready, you approach the door, taking one last deep breath before stepping outside.

Despite the urge to stay hidden away in your cabin, you want to walk around and get a feel for the general layout of the ‘intentional community’ Lottie has created here. As you walk, a few people pass you by, all dressed in purple and donning friendly smiles. It’s almost unsettling, how happy everyone seems.

“Y/n?” A voice behind you causes you to startle slightly. You turn and are met with the sight of a girl maybe a few years younger than you sporting a nervous looking smile. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you! My name is Lisa, Charlotte wanted me to find you and give you a tour.”

“Right… listen, I appreciate it but there’s really no need, I’m not planning on staying long.” Lisa frowns, fidgeting with her hands.

“She insisted.” You fight the urge to roll your eyes, deciding to put the poor girl out of her misery and agree to the damn tour. “Great! We’ll start with the common area…” Minutes pass as she leads you through the compound and despite feeling slightly bad about it, you tune out most of what Lisa is saying in favor of wondering what the hell you’re doing here and why you haven’t just left yet. Your thoughts are halted as you realize Lisa is looking at you expectantly, as if waiting for an answer to a question. You nod, hoping it was a yes or no. She sighs. “You haven’t been listening, have you?” Your initial instinct is to deny it but honestly you don’t have the energy for that today.

“I’m sorry, I…”

“It’s okay, it’s a big adjustment, I get that.”

“You do?” You ask, a bit shocked if you’re honest.

“Of course I do. Becoming almost completely cut off from the rest of the world like this isn’t easy. We try to ease people into things, make the transition as smooth as possible but in your case I’m sure it’s been a rough adjustment. For the first week or so you’ll have a chance to settle in and get used to how we operate here, you won’t have many mandatory groups until later on.”

“Pause…” You pinch the space between your brows. “Mandatory what?” You hope to god you didn’t hear what you think you did. She looks sheepish and you brace yourself for her answer.

“Right, I guess no one’s really filled you in yet.” She takes a breath, “Here at Camp Green Pine we focus on healing through community. That includes mandatory group therapy and recreation. You’ll be given a schedule at some point later today, I’m sure.”

You can’t help but feel a bit indignant. Not only have you been essentially kidnapped but now you’re also being forced to confront your problems in a group setting?? What kind of fuckass cult have you gotten yourself roped into? Lottie has a lot of explaining to do.

“Yeah… it’s definitely gonna be a no on the group therapy thing for me, I’ve been through enough counseling to last a lifetime.” Your mind involuntarily flashes back to the months after you were first rescued. How after the hospital, everyone’s parents made them go through therapy to process everything that had happened. The thing is, no one even really knew what it was you were all supposed to be processing. Sure, the trauma of the crash itself and the deaths that came with it but everything that followed? That was the real horror. The group made a pact of silence. No one was to share any details of what happened out there. You were all well aware of the agreed upon consequences that would befall whoever spoke up. Vague generalizations were fine, lies were encouraged. Anything to keep the truth a secret.

“Y/n?” Lisa’s hesitant voice snaps you back into the present.

“Right, I appreciate the tour but I think I’m good to explore the rest on my own.” You feel a bit bad brushing her off like this, especially when she makes a face not unlike a sad puppy but you stay firm in your decision.

“Oh, okay, um… I— I guess I’ll see you later? You missed breakfast but lunch will be in about half an hour in the dining hall.”

“Got it, good to know.” You make a note to avoid the dining hall at all costs in approximately thirty minutes and go on your way.

_________________________________________________

As you explore, you take notice of the fact that surrounding area that seemed so vast and daunting in the dark is actually quite beautiful during the daytime. You wander around for a while, admiring the nature around you. Eventually you find a stream. Thinking it must connect to the lake you saw near the dining hall you decide to follow it back in the direction you came from as you’ve surely succeeded in skipping lunch with everyone by now. You head to the kitchens to grab some food and then sneak back to your cabin, keen on continuing to avoid the frankly creepy cult members Lottie has acquired.

Once back in your cabin you rummage around and find a pen and a notebook, thinking it might be a good idea to do some journaling. It’s something you picked up from Shauna in the wilderness and despite the two of you having some issues, you never quite shook the habit. Amidst the words you doodle mindlessly, adding in some sketches here and there. Time slips away and you don’t even notice until the sun begins to fade, darkening the room you’re in. Fatigue hits you like a truck and you can’t help but crawl into bed. You’re on the verge of sleep when you hear a timid knocking at the door to your cabin. You ignore it, hoping whoever it is will take the hint and fuck off but after a few seconds it becomes clear that that hope is futile when the knocking sounds again. You groan and pry yourself out of bed, shuffling tiredly towards the door. Opening it, you find Lisa. She sports a concerned frown as she takes in the sight of you.

“Hey, is everything okay? I noticed you weren’t at lunch… or dinner.” You sag a bit, your previous anger at her for keeping you from falling asleep fading.

“Yeah, I’m alright, I— I don’t know, I didn’t really feel like eating with everyone.” She furrows her brow.

“I know it can be intimidating but I promise everyone is super welcoming. It’s important to start building on your relationships here.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” An awkward pause follows, neither of you really sure what to say. You break the silence. “I appreciate you checking in but I’m doing fine.”

She unfortunately sees right through you. “It’s okay if you’re not, you know. Everyone here is a work in progress, we all have our days.” She laughs lightly. “I mean god, when I first got here? I was in a pretty rough spot and it showed. I was probably a total nightmare to deal with.”

“Why did you come? Did Lottie snatch you up too?”

She thinks for a second. “I had tried the traditional route of therapy and meds but… nothing had ever really made much of a difference.” She crosses her arms and takes a breathe. “To be honest I was running out of options. I heard of Camp Green Pine from people in town talking about Sunshine Honey and managed to track them down at the street market. We got to talking and… I don’t know, I guess something just resonated. I felt truly hopeful again for the first time in years and I joined not long after.”

You hesitate, “And you… like it here? You think it’s helping you?”

“You don’t have to sound so skeptical, Charlotte’s done a great job with this place. It’s really making a difference and helping people heal.”

“Somehow I doubt it’s that simple.”

She makes a face, as if trying to figure out how far to push you. “You and Charlotte… there seems to be a bit of history there.”

You huff, “That’s certainly one way of putting it.” A beat passes. “Is there a question?” You can’t help but be a bit defensive.

“Sorry.” She backs down, “I guess it’s not really my place.” You hum in acknowledgment. “Well, um… I guess I’ll let you get some rest. See you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, maybe.”

She frowns at your noncommittal response. “Goodnight, Y/n”

“Night.” You close the door and go back to bed, all but collapsing into it. Sleep comes quickly and you’re out like a light.

_________________________________________________

You struggle to have a moment of peace, even in your sleep. Ever since the plane crash you’ve had recurring nightmares. In the wilderness you would wake up sobbing so often that the group eventually had you sleep alone in the attic to avoid waking everyone else. It was Lottie who eventually figured out how best to calm you down from that state. She would sleep next to you and take it upon herself to help soothe you whenever you had nightmares. Even once the cabin burned down, you and Lottie shared a hut, growing inseparable. After your rescue you were a mess. Lottie had been sent off to god knows where and you were left hopeless and alone. Things got so bad that your parents eventually sent you away to an institution where you spent years of your life in various therapies in the hopes to “cure” you. Over time you learned how to better compartmentalize and shove certain memories down in your mind where you could no longer reach them. The nightmares stopped with your trauma successfully locked away. It was better like this, your parents were happy and everyone assumed you were back to your normal self. You were fine. Until tonight that is.

Winter (1996)

You’re running. You have to get away because if you don’t they’ll catch you. You won’t survive, you’re way outnumbered. If you fight one of them, though— maybe there’s a chance. You heave for breath as you run, the gold around your neck feels suffocating and you fight the urge to rip it off. The wilderness chose you, but maybe… maybe you can make it reconsider. If it spared Nat’s life then who’s to say things can’t work out for you as well. You pause, hiding for a brief moment. It’s freezing outside and the wind bites at your exposed skin. You contemplate, your mind working faster than ever. Fighting won’t work, even if you manage to corner one of them alone then what? Kill them? You can’t, not directly at least. If brute force won’t work you’ll have to figure out a way to outsmart them, you weren’t a straight A student for nothing. A trap, you decide, that’s the only way you’ll make it out of this alive. The sounds of the pack grow closer, shouts morph into animalistic howls and you cover your mouth to keep from sobbing audibly.

A moment passes and you decide it’s now or never. You bolt from behind the tree and sprint as hard as your legs will allow. A solid force tackles you from the side. You look up and of course it’s Shauna. Fuck. Any of the others you could’ve potentially handled but Shauna? You’re fucked. She swings the knife towards your neck and you block it with your arm. It slices deep into your flesh and you cry out as blood gushes from the wound. Shauna takes advantage of your distraction by pinning you down and holding the knife to your neck. The look in her eyes is borderline feral and you’re sure that if you manage to make it out of this alive it will haunt you for the rest of your life.

“Shauna, please…” You whisper, desperate to get through to her without alerting the others.

“Shut up!”, She practically growls, pressing the knife further into you. The noises from the others surround the two of you, closing in. She repositions the knife in her hands, holding it above her head. The fact that you can no longer see even small hints of the girl you once knew is devastating. Except… there! A slight hesitation, for just a split second she falters. In that moment you manage to free one of your hands and swing at her as hard as you can. The hit lands square on her cheekbone and you twist, forcing her off of you while she’s distracted.

Present

You wake with a start, jolting up in bed. You pant heavily, realizing that you’re dripping with sweat. Your heart feels like it’s beating out of your chest and you tremble violently. It takes several minutes to stave off the impending panic attack that typically hits you after a nightmare as vivid as this one. Almost subconsciously, you hold your arm close to your chest. The jagged scar running up it is a testament to your near miss with death that day. A quick check of the alarm clock on the nightstand confirms your suspicions. It’s nearly 5 in the morning and you won’t be getting any more sleep tonight.

As much as it pains you to do so, you can’t help but remember the events from your dream in excruciating detail. Despite your best efforts to keep things buried, every once in a while they resurface. Not completely of course, but just enough to leave you reeling each time. Journaling, you think, might help to lock things back up where they’re meant to be. To you it feels as if you’re extracting the memories straight from your mind and forcing them onto the paper where they can no longer torment you. You write until your hand cramps and the words blur on the page. Putting your pen and notebook to the side you flop back down in bed. The sun has only just begun to rise. You wonder if it might be best to go back to sleep now and skip what you can of the day. At least it would save you the effort of avoiding people. And hey, maybe if you keep this up you’ll never have to confront the fact that you’re essentially being held captive at a wilderness retreat run by Lottie Matthews of all people.

_________________________________________________

The next few days pass with little incident. You follow the same routine of minimal participation and if possible all out avoidance. To your honest and absolute shock, there’s been no word from Lottie since your first night at the compound. You’re… not really sure what to do with that. Lisa is still making an effort to include you which while nice of her is making things more complicated. What you really want is to disappear… just for a little while. But if that were really true, you suppose you would’ve left day one instead of sticking around. You see, the real truth is that you’re lost. You’ve been lost for years, maybe even since the wilderness. So instead of running for the hills like usual, you stay and observe.

Of course that doesn’t keep you from getting fed up every once in a while. For instance, the group session you’re in today. You decided to show up to avoid suspicion but it’s of a lecture than anything and you find it to be extremely irritating. A pale, middle aged man drones on and on about how he believes there are no truly bad experiences in life. How everything we go through as humans shapes us into who we are, therefore making pain necessary. While you agree to some extent you can’t help but scoff loudly, rolling your eyes and shaking your head, storming off into the woods. What you don’t notice is Lottie watching from the corner of the room with a frown on her face. Unbeknownst to you, she follows.

You make your way to a recently discovered spot in the woods. It’s a bit of a ways away and secluded, with a nice big rock to sit on and watch the stream go by. You pace, feeling anxious and restless while trying to keep creeping thoughts of the wilderness at bay. It’s become harder lately to ignore them. You don’t even notice the fact that you’re chewing on your bottom lip until you taste the familiar tang of blood in your mouth. You hear the snap of a twig behind you and turn sharply, startled. Lottie stands there, looking uncharacteristically timid.

“What are you doing here?” You ask, unintentionally accusatory.

She hums, “I could ask you the same question seeing as you’re supposed to be in the midst of one of our riveting wellness groups right now.”

“Riveting is certainly one way of putting it.” You grumble.

She chuckles lightly, moving closer and for a moment you’re struck by how little has changed when it comes to your attraction to her. You can’t help but feel entranced by her, just like you always were. If she catches you staring, she’s kind enough not to mention it, instead switching the subject. “How are you finding it here, Y/n, be honest.”

“It’s… fine. Different.” You keep your answer intentionally short. She sees right through it.

“After all of these years you’d think you would’ve gotten a bit better at lying, my darling.” You shuffle uncomfortably at being called out. Before you can come up with a retort she speaks again, catching you off guard. “I’m sorry.” The apology confuses you.

“For what?” You cross your arms, trying to keep your defenses up.

“I had assumed, given our history, it would be easier for you to settle in than the others. I’m sorry I misjudged.” Lottie reaches both hands out and strokes up and down your arms

“I’m not sure I understand…”

“You’re clearly struggling, my love. Don’t think I haven’t noticed.”

“But…” You try to interject but she cuts you off.

“I have my ways of keeping tabs on people here, especially when they’re old friends of mine.”

“Friends.” You scoff, “Is that what we are?”

Lottie hums, smiling. “No… I suppose not.” She tilts her head and her hands go still, resting on your shoulders. “In fact, I’d say you and I are much more than friends, wouldn’t you?” You can’t help the heat that rises to your face at her words. You look down, avoiding her eyes, but she lifts a hand to your chin and tilts your head back up to meet her gaze. Her thumb strokes your cheek and you sigh. She takes a breath before speaking again. “Aren’t you tired of running, Y/n?” You can’t help but close your eyes, your face crumpling slightly. You take a shaky breath before speaking.

“I…” Your voice cracks. “What other choice do I have?” Once you start, the rest spills out. All of your doubts, your worries, everything you’ve been holding in. “If I stop, it’ll get me, I know it will and I can’t— I can’t let it… I’ll be consumed in one way or another and a part of me thinks it was always going to happen. I drew the queen that day. It was supposed to be me who died.” A tear falls from your eyes and Lottie wipes it away with her thumb. “Lottie, I don’t think I was meant to survive that.”

She hushes you gently. “How could you say such a thing? It was the wilderness that spared you, saved you. It saved all of us who survived.”

“Did it?” You interject. “Because it didn’t feel that way.” You prepare yourself to confess something you’ve never told anyone. “I set a trap, Lot. I outsmarted Gen and she died in my place. I killed her. The Wilderness didn’t spare me, I killed someone to save myself.” The words feel sour on your tongue but the relief of finally telling someone is immense.

She smiles tearfully. “You think I didn’t know that? I knew you would find a way to stay alive that day, I willed it to be so. And besides, it wouldn’t let you die, it liked you too much. You were one of the few people who knew how to listen but the others were suspicious. They thought I was favoring you, protecting you from the draw in some way. The wilderness did what needed to be done to cement your place at my side while preventing a rebellion. You were never in any real danger.”

“Well I sure as shit thought I was!” You yell, exasperated. “What about Shauna?? Did the wilderness plan on her taking a knife to my fucking neck? She was going to kill me, Lottie!”

“But she didn’t. Have you never wondered why?”

“Of course I’ve wondered. But what good does that do me? Shauna having one single moment of hesitation could mean absolutely nothing.”

“Or… it could mean everything. It could mean the wilderness gave you a chance to escape. To live.” She seems so resolute in her belief that it makes you doubt your version of events.

“So if it doesn’t want me dead, then what? Another draw? Another sacrifice? You know as well as I do it won’t stop there. In fact it sounds to me like the only way it’ll ever be satisfied is if all of us die. Almost like we were never meant to make it out in the first place.”

“What are you saying?”

You sigh deeply, losing steam. “I don’t know.” You pull back, moving just enough to be out of her reach. “I can’t hear it anymore, Lottie. I know it’s there— I feel it. But I can’t listen the way I did before.”

She furrows her brow before seemingly coming to a decision. “Close your eyes.”

“What? No, I…”

“Close them.” You hesitate for a moment. Realistically you could walk away, go back to your cabin or leave altogether. Return to your semi normal life. No wilderness, no weird purple cult… no Lottie. You close your eyes. “Good. Now, tell me…. what do you hear?”

You take some deep breaths, centering yourself. “I hear the water from the stream, I hear the wind rustling through the trees, I hear my voice.”

“What do you feel?”

“I feel the ground beneath my feet, I feel the sun warming my skin.” She steps closer to you.

“Keep your eyes closed… what do you see?”

“I see… the team playing soccer. I see Jackie scoring the winning goal. I see myself packing for nationals.” Your voice grows shaky and hesitant.

“Keep going, you’re doing a good job.”

“I see the plane, we’re flying… no. We’re falling.” You continue, picking up speed, not even fully aware of the words leaving your mouth. “It’s crashing, down down down, into the trees. I see fire, the lake, the cabin. It’s there, it’s with us.” You’re frantic, now. “More fire, it doesn’t want us to leave. And then, and then the cold. But the wilderness provides a feast. It’s still hungry, it wants more, it wants— blood. A hunt.” You open your eyes, shaking violently. “It wants a hunt.” Tears run down your face and Lottie pulls you into a hug.

“It’s okay, you’re alright.”

You shake your head in disagreement. “None of this is alright. I— Lottie I’m scared.”

“I’ll keep you safe, love, you don’t have to worry.”

You pull back, looking her in the eyes. “It’s not me I’m scared for.” You say softly, your face scrunched up.

She tilts her head. “What do you mean?”

You try to brush it off and hope she lets it go. “I just have a bad feeling, that’s all.”

“Maybe that’s all it is; a feeling.” She attempts to reassure you.

“Yeah, maybe.” You feel completely wrung out, having forgotten how much energy it takes to tap into the wilderness like that. Lottie can clearly sense that there’s something else weighing on you but seeing how exhausted you look, she decides to leave it be for now.

“Come, it’s nearly time for dinner and I know you haven’t been eating as much as you should be.” Damn her. She turns, holding out a hand for you to take. The two of you walk hand-in-hand back to the main area of the compound but when you move towards the dining hall she gently tugs you past it to her own cabin.

When you step inside her cabin you’re taken aback at how every inch of it is so very Lottie. From the tapestries on the walls to the beaded curtains separating rooms it all has a unique touch to it, like every corner was filled with intention and care. Parts of it remind you of her childhood bedroom and it makes you want to cry a little bit, the fact that so little has changed. You stand frozen near the entrance as she rummages around in the kitchen, gathering ingredients. Lottie seemingly knows her way around a kitchen which is only a slight bit surprising to you. Cooking almost seemed beneath Lottie and you honestly would’ve assumed that she had someone to do things like that for her. But here she was, whipping up a meal from scratch, partly due to the fact that you haven’t eaten yet. She must catch sight of you still standing motionless out of the corner of her eye because she pauses to guide you to a seat before resuming meal preparations. You watch on in awe as she seemingly effortlessly whips up a full meal for the two of you. She hums the occasional mindless tune while cooking and you can’t help but fall a little bit further for her. It’s hard to know where you stand with Lottie but you can only hope that things work out— for both of you.

As she adds the final touches to the meal you admire how peaceful she looks. Confident, too. Completely in her element in ways you never would’ve expected. Evidently you become lost in thought because when you blink back to reality, Lottie is looking at you with an exasperated fondness.

You clear your throat. “Sorry?”

“I said I hope you like pasta, I’m a little low on groceries at the moment and the next shipment won’t be until tomorrow.”

“Oh, yes. Pasta. Love it.” You stammer awkwardly before gathering your thoughts. “Honestly, it smells amazing Lottie.” She absolutely beams at the compliment and you damn near swoon. She brings over two plates and sits next to you.

You both eat in comfortable silence, basking in each other’s presence. As much as you would absolutely deny it if asked you’ve always found comfort in Lottie, even before everything happened. You remember the first time you saw her. You had moved to Wiskayok midway through your sophomore year of high school, making it a rather difficult adjustment. You had been there a week and still hadn’t really connected with anyone or formed any new friendships due to your shy nature. You were at your locker one day while she was walking down the hall with Taissa, coaching her through asking out a crush— some redhead. It was as if subconsciously you could feel her approaching because just as she passed by, you turned and accidentally made eye contact. She was the most beautiful girl you’d ever seen and you knew right away that would mean trouble. It was honestly pure coincidence that you tried out for the same sport. You’d played a lot of soccer all throughout your childhood and hoped for that same sense of community and teamwork. You and Lottie both made the varsity team and the rest was history. Junior year you had several classes together and decided to become study buddies to help each other pass the harder courses. Growing closer over the years did absolutely nothing to curb your crush but you hid it to the best of your ability.

And then the crash.

It felt like everything— your whole life, collapsed in on itself. There was so much emotion the first few days that you barely spoke a word to anyone. It wasn’t until that day at the lake that you managed to talk a bit with Lottie about everything that was going on. She was your rock out there. So when she started having visions you were the first to take her word for it. You would follow her anywhere and do anything for her, she just had to say the word. And then, be it psychosis or spiritual awakening, you heard it too. You became Lottie’s right hand in the wilderness, worshipping those hungry spirits. You never faltered, never had even a single moment of doubt in your faith.

With rescue came devastation and in turn left you a broken shell of your former self. You spent years trying to convince yourself it was all in your head, that you were desperate for some form of hope to cling onto so you created a religion of false gods that demanded you do terrible things to survive. It only worked to a certain extent but it was enough to convince your family you were back to your normal (if not heavily traumatized) self.

Lottie clears her throat and you realize you’ve been staring into space instead of eating. “You alright, Y/n?”

“Yeah, I’m okay.” You sigh, picking up your fork and finally tasting the food she made. You bite back a moan as the flavors melt on your tongue. She looks pleased at your reaction for a moment before her face clouds over with an expression of worry.

“When’s the last time you had a proper meal?” Her question catches you by surprise and you struggle to come up with a believable lie to soothe her concern. “If you have to think about it, it’s been too long.” She says sternly. Unable to think of a decent response you shrug, curling in on yourself a bit and tucking back into your meal. “You need to take better care of yourself… I worry about you.”

“I’m sorry.” You sag, feeling like you’ve disappointed her in some way. “It’s just— I don’t know, it’s hard sometimes.”

“To eat?”

“To do anything. I just feel so… heavy sometimes. Like the weight of everything—everything we went through, everything we did, is just… holding me down.”

“Sweetheart… come here.” She pulls you towards her, guiding you to lean your head on her shoulder. She strokes your hair, speaking softly. “I can help you, you know. If you let me in, I can help you.”

You nod, giving in. “Okay.” You finish the rest of the meal with Lottie’s arm around you. It all feels rather domestic and you can’t help but wish for more nights like this with her. When you’re both done eating you make a move to clear the dishes and wash everything in the sink but Lottie stops you.

“You don’t have to do that, let me.” She chides gently.

“I want to.” You reassure. “And besides, it’s only fair after you cooked such an amazing meal.” She smiles, her face flushing slightly. It’s reminiscent of your youth and your chest aches fiercely with affection for her. The truth of the matter is that all of the things you felt for Lottie back then still exist within you. You don’t think you could get rid of them if you tried. So instead, you decide to embrace them. “Here, we can do them together. I’ll wash, you dry.” She acquiesces with a nod and you find a rhythm washing the dishes together.

You finish up, drying your hands on a towel and leaning against the counter as Lottie puts the last of dishes away. “I’ve missed you, you know that?” The words slip out before you can stop them. She looks at you thoughtfully.

“I’ve missed you too, love.”

“So uh, what next? What does this mean for us?”

“I’ve never been one to feel the need for labels, I find them constricting.” Your mix of confusion and slight disappointment must show on your face because she elaborates. “Call it what you want, girlfriends, partners, lovers, as long as you know that you’re mine… just as much as I am yours in return.”

“Really? You mean that?”

“Of course I do.” She assures. You pull her into a hug, clutching onto her tightly. She holds you, swaying gently while you cling to her. It’s comfortable, familiar. You really had missed her. She was always so caring towards you, in ways you had never experienced before Lottie. “It’s late, darling…” You pull away, suddenly feeling like you’ve overstayed your welcome.

“Of course, sorry, I’ll get out of your hair.”

“Don’t do that, don’t pull away again, I wasn’t finished.” She brings you in close again, her hands on your waist. “I was going to suggest you borrow something to sleep in and stay here for the night.”

“Oh…” Your face heats up in embarrassment, you have a habit of jumping to conclusions.

“Would that be alright with you, love?”

The look she gives you has any excuse you could’ve come up with dying on your tongue. You nod, letting her lead the way to her bedroom. She opens her closet and you balk, the amount of silk dresses and flowing kaftans is absolutely absurd. She slides them to the side searches for something you can borrow. She eventually settles on a matching satin set of pants and a tank top and hands them to you, her eyes searching for your approval.

“These are perfect, thank you.”

“You’re welcome. There’s a bathroom through there if you would like to change privately. There should also be a spare toothbrush under the sink and you’re more than welcome to use any of the skincare products.”

You go to the bathroom, changing your clothes first. The pants are a bit long but comfortable enough that you don’t care. You find the spare toothbrush and brush your teeth, washing your face with one of Lottie’s fancy cleansers afterwards. You moisturize and decide that’s good enough, at least for tonight. Leaving the bathroom, you go back to the bedroom. You freeze when you see her. She’s now wearing a satin nightgown that falls to around her mid thigh. You drink in the sight of her, feeling rather like a blushing teen. She must sense your presence because she turns, smiling at the sight of you in her clothes. She always was a bit possessive.

“Did you find everything okay?”

“I did, yeah. Thanks.” She pulls back the covers and crawls into the bed. You shuffle, only just now realizing she intends for you to share.

“Come, it’s late and I know you’re more tired than you’re letting on.”

And who are you to argue? You walk around to the other side and follow suit, making yourself comfortable. Lottie turns off the bedside lamp, casting the room into darkness. Slight hints of moonlight peak through the curtains, illuminating her face just enough for you to make out her expressions. She looks unsettled, maybe a bit restless. You move a bit closer to her and reach out, taking one of her hands in yours.

“Goodnight, Lottie.”

“Goodnight.”

You fall asleep, still clutching her hand.

_________________________________________________

Lottie looks at you, admiring how peaceful you seem. She thinks over what you said. A hunt. Well that’s not an option— not again… not when she isn’t sure the two of you would be protected in the same ways you were before. She wasn’t lying when she said she didn’t favor you or protect you from the draw, both you and Lottie were the only ones that could hear the wilderness back then and as such had its favor. But circumstances had changed. You’d both left it, abandoned it and she was worried it might come back to bite you. She knows what she must do.

Slipping out of the bed, she gently removes her hand from yours and smiles gently as you curl up, hugging a pillow. She finds a pair of shoes and a knife, leaving the cabin and walking the familiar path to an old tree stump in the woods. There are several old candles in a circle around it and next to it is a pack of matches. She carefully strikes a match and lights each candle one by one. She takes a deep breath, centering herself. Approaching the makeshift alter, Lottie takes a knife to her non-dominant hand. “Please let this be enough.” She begs, slicing into her palm. Barely noticing the sting, she squeezes her hand, letting the blood drip onto the tree stump below.

When you wake up, you’re not immediately sure why. As you gain a sense of your surroundings you realize you’re alone. You reach towards where Lottie was when you fell asleep, feeling the cold sheets. She must’ve left not long after you fell asleep, you frown. Something is wrong, you’re sure of it.

You throw on a jacket and some shoes, preparing yourself to find her. Eventually, while searching the nearby area of forest you see a thinner path that looks less frequented. You follow it, letting your intuition lead you. It’s there that you find Lottie, knelt on the ground as the last hours of darkness bleed into morning. Her cheeks are stained with dried tear tracks and her hand sports a deep cut straight across the center of her palm. The blood crusted around the wound hints at how long she’s been there and you approach her quietly, careful not to startle her. You crouch down beside her and lay a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“Lottie…” The concern bleeds into your tone and when she looks up you can’t help but sigh softly at how lost she seems.

“This has to be enough— blood, it wanted blood, that’s what you said. I gave it what it wants.” It sounds like she’s trying to convince herself. You and her both know it doesn’t work like that but you hope, just this once, it can be satisfied with a bit of spilled blood rather than a full on draw.

You help her up, supporting some of her weight as you bring her to the nurse’s station. You’re both silent as you walk. She seems shaken and you can’t really blame her. You feel absolutely awful that you had a hand in making her spiral like this. The things you said yesterday after what you saw? They were clearly bound to affect her in some way and the fact that you were too blinded by your own feelings to notice makes you feel slightly sick to your stomach. You wish she would’ve opened up to you instead of putting up a front and helping you to her own detriment. The two of you used to be so in tune but now? It’s evident that the years of separation have done damage to your ability to communicate with each other.

You open the door to the nurses station and shuffle Lottie inside, sitting her down and grabbing supplies. The thought that it was not long ago that she was doing this for you strikes you. It feels like so much has changed since that first night at the compound. You gather similar supplies, gauze, tape, antiseptic, and antibiotic ointment. She hisses at the sting of the antiseptic and you breathe a sigh of relief as she seems to have regained awareness.

“I’m sorry, it’s almost done.” You slather on some of the antibiotic ointment and tape a bit of gauze to her palm, securing it with a small roll of cloth wrapped around her hand. “There, all better…” You hold her bandaged hand between two of yours, wishing you could do more to help her.

“Thank you, Y/n.” She says solemnly. You hum in acknowledgment, bringing her hand up to press a kiss against it. You’ll be okay, you think. Both of you… eventually.

You hope.

_________________________________________________

Author’s note:

so uhh that’s it! please let me know if you like it, i have plans for a second part that i’ll continue to work on :)

[priyajoyy]

You and your psychotic girlfriends

Dark!shauna shipman x reader x dark!Lottie Matthew’s x dark!Natalie scattorcio

The other girls aren’t quite fans of you getting all this special treatment from your psychotic girlfriends, but mari finally decides to call them out and Shauna isn’t happy about it.

Apart of my psychotic girlfriend’s universe but could be read as a stand alone!!

Especially cause Nat and Lottie aren’t overly that dark in this

I also haven’t even watched the first two eps of season 3 lol I’ve just seen this scene on TikTok so sorry if there’s any mistakes todo with that

Warnings:

Dark! Characters but they’re not too bad here, typical Yellowjackets warnings, dissociation at the end, not much else

You had never asked the three of them for extra privileges. Although it was rare nowadays that the three of them asked for your input on anything, especially big decisions.

You noticed how your food portions always seemed to be bigger than everyone else’s. How you’d get extra blankets and less chores to do. And you knew the others must have seen it too.

You tried your best to help out extra, and do other people’s chores when you weren’t asked. But Lottie and Nat always wanted you at one of their sides and Shauna would practically bite the heads off of any girl that let you take over their work.

“God, the service here is slow.” One of the girls giggled.

“Oh, garçon!” Gen called out.

You watched as all the girls eyed you enviously while Lottie passed you your food. You hadn’t been on the winning team of capture the bone, yet here you were sat with all of them, not having to lift a finger.

You couldn’t help but feel that familiar feeling of guilt fill your stomach.

“Okay. So, for your solstice dining pleasure or whatever, we have deer soup.” Natalie states simply.

“Also known as braised venison stew, served with our finest vintage of berry wine.” Taissa added in a fancy voice, to which all the girls ooh’d.

“Seriously this is bullshit” mari calls out suddenly, before any of the bowls other than your own, could be placed down.

You took a sharp breath in and looked down at your lap. It was bound to happen at some point, you’re surprised it hadn’t sooner.

Shauna and the girl had already been at odds with one another, you should have known their little biting incident earlier would have been the breaking point.

The others all stared at her silently. You could tell this wouldn’t end well.

“Mari..” van started with a sigh, hoping to stop the incoming argument.

“No seriously!” She responded in a rage, “I’m so done with this! How is it fair that she just gets to sit there all the time because she’s Lottie, Nat and shipman’s little pet!”

“Seriously mari grow up” Natalie says with an eye roll, placing the bowl in her hands down in hopes the rest of the girls stood up would follow her lead, all of them staying still instead.

“You all know I’m right” she continues, ignoring the girl as you squirm in your seat, “you all hate doing extra chores and getting less food as much as I do!”

“You better watch your mouth” Shauna says in a steady voice, glaring down at the girl.

“Or what Shauna? What are you gonna do” she says with a laugh.

You stare at lottie from your seat, as if to try and will her to do something, but she just stares back at you, not saying a word.

“You don’t wanna know-“ Shauna starts, getting closer to the girls face, food still in hand, as you turn yourself to Nat instead.

“Come on guys!” Taissa called out with a groan.

“Nat” you say quietly, pleading with her to make her stop the impending fight.

“Seriously you two enough!” Nat says in a sterner voice, making you smile at her slightly in thanks.

Shauna pulls back from the girls face, grinning at her and turning to look at Lottie, who shares a knowing look with her.

You watch the two in silence, dreading what they were thinking, and only hoping you and Natalie could prevent it.

“Fine” Shauna says simply in a false nice voice, the others may not have noticed the real tone behind it, but you certainly did.

You watched as she stared mari down, slowly spiting in her food as she placed it onto the table alone with the other girls who sat their bowls down into place.

“Bon appétit” she states simply.

“What?” Shauna says staring at the girl intently, asking with an innocent voice, “Aren't you hungry?”

She looks at you for a moment, sat opposite where she stood with a worried expression. You shake your head to say ‘no’ but she ignores you with a grin.

“Go ahead. Just give me a reason” you watch her say tauntingly, looking her up and down.

“What the fսck? Shauna just spit in my food” mari called out to the table, grabbing their attention and making them groan.

“Here we go”

“Come on”

The girls all call out and groan in annoyance, watching the two begin another argument for the umpteenth time.

“Are you gonna do something about this or what?” She asked their queen in outrage.

“Jesus Christ. Shauna, did you spit in her soup?” Natalie said with an eye roll.

Natalie looks at you questioningly, as if to ask if Shauna had done it, watching you stare back at her with a panicked expression.

“What? No. The fact that you even think I would is insulting” Shauna scoffs.

Mari stands up, meeting Shauna’s gaze with the soup firmly gripped in her right hand, making Shauna add “You should eat. I worked hard to make it”

You watch her slowly poor it to the ground next to them in response.

“I should fսcking kick your ass” mari states in a rage.

You gasp in shock, jumping up to your feet alongside a lot of the other girls as Shauna tackles the teen to the ground, grabbing her face roughly with her hand and shoving it in to the mud.

“I told you to eat, bitch!” Shauna screams, pushing the girls face down with force, her cheek twisting in the mixture of soup and dirt as she whimpers and tries to pull out of her grasp.

Quickly Natalie and some others pull Shauna off of her, two girls helping mari stand as Natalie starts to shout.

“That's it! That's it! I've fսcking had it with this shit! If everyone wants me to be the camp counselor, then fine. Starting tomorrow, you're both on house arrest. Stay in your shelters. I don't want to see your faces for a week, okay? Got it?” Natalie shouts out as the two are separated.

“What? Uh, this is bullshit. She attacked me” mari argues back in outrage, mud still caked on her face, making Natalie glare at her.

“Keep going, Mar, I'll make it two weeks” Natalie says in frustration

“Oh. You know what?” Mari states, pulling the cloak off of her shoulders, “fսck this. You know, screw all of you. I'm out of here!”

Shauna watches with a smirk, before turning and walking away herself, grinning at you as you stare at her in concern.

“Let her go. Don't let her ruin the rest of the night.” Natalie said with a sigh, as the girls all watch mari storm off in to the woods.

You watch on as the atmosphere calms slightly, feeling a hand grip your arm from behind.

You turn, facing Lottie who had approached you, staring at you with a neutral expression you can’t distinguish.

You watch out the corner of your eye as Natalie nods to her, before Lottie takes your arm and guides you away from the mess and back to the table.

She gently forces you to sit while the rest of the girls settle, akilah sat to your right, the only one left sat down, and looks at you with a shared look of annoyance. And you stare at the table blankly while Lottie makes you finish your food.

Ok already have some ideas for a second part of this icl 🤭

[returnofeternity]

cant stop thinking about adult lottie being obsessed with you, shauna's (VERY adult) kid. both because you're literally the offspring of the wilderness and because she's insanely attracted to you. mainly because of your connection to the wilderness, though.

after showing up to find out where the fuck your mom went, and after shooting her old friend in the arm, and after their old teammate died, you try to forget it all and go back to work/classes. lottie, unfortunately, cannot go after you since she's locked up again, but she's formulating a plan.

maybe once she's out of the hospital, she starts stalking you. watching you from afar, literally shaking at the power you hold. she's upset that you don't even know how much power you have. you could do so much with it. freak, perverted lottie who takes pictures of you while at work or on campus and touches the screen (aka your face) while mumbling about whatever the hell she promised It, her eyes closed and clit throbbing as she prays to It and you.

lottie still showing up on shauna's doorstep, but only to get closer to you. lottie who almost breaks when you agree with her about letting her stay with your dad and shauna, feeling her whole body tremble at your voice. not that she hasn't heard it in a while; she's quite literally been by your side without you knowing for weeks.

that whole impromptu sleepover with misty still happening, but you end up fucking lottie at the end. lottie who has to control herself when touching you, being very cautious where she puts her hickeys because she can't have shauna suspect something. lottie who begssss you to touch her, who fucking thanks you over and over again as you eat her out, moaning something about you and It. you can't really find it in yourself to really listen to what she's muttering, though, you're too distracted by her taste.

sneaking out of the house after that to meet up with lottie, feeling such a rush as you lie to shauna about where you've been. calling lottie in your bedroom while your dad and mom are talking about your sudden aggression in the kitchen, begging her to come over and show you what she really means by worshipping you.

lottie who starts scaring you when she talks about taking you to meet Her. lottie who doesn't understand why you're so apprehensive now. lottie who could nearly cream herself when you get angry at her as she talks about your purpose, telling you things you don't believe about yourself because there's such anger and power and IT in your eyes.

lottie who finally convinces you to dress up as the antler queen so she can worship you. or, scratch that actually, (but still, she'd get you to dress up) shauna who finds you and lottie making out after coming home, only crashing the fuck out after spotting jackie's necklace on you.

just. adult lottie being perverted. that's it.

[therealantlerqueen]

LOTTIE MATTHEWS PILGRAM COSPLAY:

[lotties-ashwagandha]

SALVATION (nsfw)

notes: dom!lottie x fem!reader, praise and degradation, mommy kink, strap-ons, blindfolds. word count: 2.6k . if you guys don’t go feral for this i’ll actually cry it took me so long

summary: after a hard day working at the wellness center, lottie comes home with you on her mind :) for more lottie fics (nsfw and sfw) see my yellowjackets masterlist!

You’d hardly heard anything from her all day. You knew Lottie had had an incredibly busy day, taking in new people to the wellness center and substituting some of the treatment classes for Lisa, who was out sick. It had all happened so last minute, too, neither of you knowing that Lottie would have to take over for Lisa until that morning.

You were preparing to make dinner when you heard the front door open and Lottie trudged into the kitchen, wordlessly giving you a quick peck on the cheek before heading straight to where you kept your alcohol.

You gave her a questioning look, slightly amused as she began to pour herself a glass of wine. She almost never drank, and when she did it was either after a particularly hard day or when she got insanely bored and wanted to liven things up a bit.

“Are you okay?” You asked softly, coming up behind her and wrapping your arms around her waist. You missed her touch, missed her presence even though it had been only a few hours since you’d seen her last. “Did something happen?”

“No, no… I’m just tired,” she said dryly, and took a sip of her wine. “I understand why Lisa couldn’t come in today, but fuck…”

“I could’ve helped you with some of the classes,” you said, and she shook her head, holding your hands which were still wrapped around her torso.

“You had your own shit to worry about.”

“What can I do, then?” you asked after a moment, and she turned around in your arms, meeting your eyes with a questioning gaze. “I’ll do anything you want, I want to help you relax.”

“Anything I want?” She asked lowly, hands slipping under the hem of your shirt, and in the darkness of her gaze, the lust, you could see exactly what she needed. “Do you have any ideas, sweetheart?”

You shrugged, smiling softly, meeting her gaze in challenge. “It’s not up to me, it’s up to you.”

She raised her eyebrows, cocking her head a bit before leaning in closer to you. Her breath on your neck sent goosebumps rippling down your body as she spoke, whispering softly in your ear. “I want you on your knees for me, love. And after I use you, I want to fuck you until you cry.”

You grabbed her wrists, pulling her hands further under your shirt to your chest, immensely glad you’d forgone a bra. She groped at your breasts, rolling your nipples under her thumbs, moaning into your mouth when you kissed her. She was intoxicating, her touch set you on fire.

You stepped forward, pinning her against the kitchen counter. You kissed and sucked at her neck, proud of the marks already forming. Every time you’d leave a particularly harsh mark she would moan softly, and it set your skin on fire, made your head swim with desire.

You wanted to ruin her in every single way she wanted you to. You were hers in every way, hers to use, hers to command at every whim.

One of her hands came back from under your shirt to grip your neck and you paused, pulling away to meet her eyes.

Her voice was raspy as she spoke. It sent shivers down your spine, made you ache for her, every thought flooding out of your mind and into her hands.

“Get on your knees for me.”

Slowly you sunk to the floor, keeping your eyes locked with hers the entire time. You watched as she slid her caftan and her dress off her shoulders, as it pooled at her feet, a goddess blessing you not only with her presence but her vulnerability and the power that came from it.

“Take your shirt off, pretty girl, let me see you,” she said softly, and immediately you complied, tossing your shirt somewhere behind you. You would’ve done anything she wanted, she was the sun and the moon and the sky and everything that mattered.

Your hands found her legs, roaming them, running up to her thighs. She was so perfect, so beautiful, yours.

She looked down at you with pride, like she had the key to the entire world in front of her, and she would use all of her power to ruin you. “You’re so beautiful below me, princess. Is this what you wanted, to make mommy feel good?”

You nodded, desperate for her approval, for anything she would give you.

“Go ahead, my good girl.”

You looped your fingers under the waistband of her underwear, waiting until she nodded in approval before you took them off. Resting one of her legs over your shoulder you began to kiss up her thighs, sucking bruises, marking her as yours even as she held every bit of power over you.

She was your goddess, and every mark you left was an offering. At her feet you received salvation.

You felt one of her hands in your hair, tugging gently, and you let her guide you where she wanted you.

You met her eyes for a moment, still as you took in the power of her presence, before dragging your tongue through her folds. You felt her relax, heard her sigh as you sucked her clit into your mouth. It was heaven, the taste of her, the way her grip in your hair tightened every time you flicked your tongue against her.

“So good,” she breathed, and you looked up briefly to see her with her head thrown back, her middle back slightly leaning against the kitchen counter. “You’re doing so good for me, angel…”

You moaned into her, and her hips jerked, slamming against the cabinets behind her. You resisted a smirk, proud of how good you were making her feel.

Using the hand that wasn’t holding her leg in place on your shoulder, you slipped a finger past her entrance, giving her a moment to adjust before beginning to set a slow pace.

You knew she needed this — to relax, to forget, to feel like she had control. You were willing to give it all to her.

You added another finger, quickening your pace. Lottie moaned gloriously above you, letting out a sharp breath, and for a moment you forgot how to breathe. She was squirming slightly, control slipping slowly from her to you, and you were fully ready to bear anything she wanted to give you.

She was a goddess, and you were made to worship her, made to be on your knees for her.

You pinned her hips against the kitchen counter, trying to keep her still as you worked your fingers inside her, tongue still on her clit. She let out a strangled moan, pulling you closer into her.

You quickened your pace, feeling her tighten around your fingers, her hand on the back of your head keeping you close, your tongue on her clit.

“Fuck,” she hissed, grasping at your hand that was wrapped around her thigh, holding it tightly as you continued your ministrations, relentless. “I’m so close, baby, just keep going…”

You kept your pace, looking up at her, at how gorgeous she was above you. You could’ve spent eternity on your knees for her, worshiping her, devoting yourself to her.

With a strangled moan she climaxed, her back arching and the grip she had on your hand so tight you almost felt like you might cry. You kept your pace as she rode out her high, her cum spilling into your hands, onto your lips, your tongue. You were close too from the sight of her, the feel of her, the taste of her.

When she pushed you away, you pressed a gentle kiss to her inner thigh before moving up her body, pressing kisses to her torso, her chest, her neck before settling in front of her and meeting her lips with yours. She moaned at the taste of herself on your lips, and you smiled, letting her pull you into her arms.

“My perfect girl,” Lottie whispered, still trying to catch her breath. “You did so good for me.”

“I love you,” you replied softly, breaking into a subtle state of mental sobriety for a moment, and you pulled her into another kiss.

Catching you off guard, Lottie switched your positions so that you were pinned against the kitchen counter, and after a moment she lifted you onto it. She stood between your legs, her hands running along your thighs, and you shivered.

“Let mommy take care of you now, sweetheart,” she purred, and you nodded. “Tell me what you want, baby.”

“Lottie, please…” you whined, hardly able to speak in the anticipation. “I need you to touch me.”

“How, babygirl? Tell mommy what you want her to do to you.”

“Your strap,” you breathed, desperate. “I want your strap, mommy, please.”

Lottie smirked slightly, pulling you off the kitchen counter. Taking your hands, she led you out of the kitchen and into the bedroom — it took you longer than it should have, the two of you stopping every few steps for one of you to pull the other into your arms, lips clashing, the two of you drowning in one another.

“Turn around,” she rasped once you’d gotten to the bed, standing in front of it.

Unquestioningly you turned around, turning your head to watch in your peripherals as she began to dig through the bedside table, retrieving a black silk blindfold.

“Close your eyes,” she commanded, though her voice was soft, sensual in the way it always was, and her touch was soft as she placed the silk over your eyes and tied it in the back.

Lottie shoved you down onto the bed, and turning on your back you laid in the middle of the bed.

You waited restlessly in the state of mental darkness as you heard her digging around, getting the strap, and your need for her touch grew existentially with every passing moment. The anticipation was torture, and you reached one of your hands out for her but she wasn’t there, she didn’t take it.

You felt the bed dip and after a moment her hand was on your jaw, guiding you to kiss her, as she pulled off your pants and underwear and tossed them to the floor somewhere. You reached out for her, pulling her between your legs, the two of you never parting.

You wanted to see her, see how proud of herself she undoubtedly looked from taking control of you so completely, but the way the blindfold took away every bit of control you had was too intoxicating to give up.

Lottie began to suck at your neck, making her way down to your chest slowly. She gave extra attention to your collarbones, tracing them with her hands before biting bruises, marking them as her favorite in shades of purple and red.

Blindly you reached for her, your hands finding the back of her shoulders and settling there as she moved down to suck at your tits. You could feel the muscles of her back shifting under your fingers as she moved, and you whimpered, squirming when she rolled one of your nipples under her tongue.

“Such a pretty little whore for me like this,” she said, moving back up to kiss you. “So clueless, so desperate for mommy to fuck you…”

You moaned, nodding, pulling her impossibly closer to you.

You could hear her give a short, breathy laugh at your desperation, tracing her hand down your torso and between your legs. Your hips jerked when her fingers began to circle your clit, your nails raking down her back. At her touch you fell to pieces, it was so good, so perfect but nothing was enough, nothing would ever be enough in the insanity she evoked in you.

“So wet for me darling, so perfect,” Lottie breathed above you, and her strap lined up with your entrance. Her hands came to rest next to either side of your head as she eased it into you.

You sucked in a sharp breath as she eased deeper into you, the aching for her between your legs subsiding at the pleasure but also growing tremendously as she was inside you, and you could hear her breathing heavily above you, enjoying it just as much as you were. It was heaven, the way she thrusted into you, your back arching off the bed, Lottie whispering praises in your ear that you could hardly decipher in the waves of pleasure overtaking you with every movement she made.

It could have been minutes, it could have been hours, it was all the same under her touch. Heaven had no time or place.

“You’re taking mommy’s cock so well, my gorgeous girl,” she moaned, and you whimpered, clinging desperately to her shoulders as she fucked you. “Such a dumb little slut for me, begging for mommy’s strap and then hardly able to fucking handle it. I know you’re getting so close, love.”

You were, after only a few minutes of her fucking into you. Your mind kept fleeing back to you being on your knees for her, it was the only thing you could see behind the blindfold, and every touch she blessed you with brought you closer and closer to the edge.

“Mommy,” you whined, not entirely knowing what you were asking for, just knowing that if she stopped you would lose your fucking mind. She was bringing you nearer to euphoria with every passing moment, her strap buried deep inside you, her lips on your neck.

“Shh, I know, baby, mommy’s going to take care of you,” she cooed, quickening her pace, hitting deeper with every thrust.

You moaned when she hit particularly deep, teetering on the edge, so close to your release.

“Cum for me, pretty girl,” she commanded, pace never letting up. “Show mommy how beautiful you look when you unravel beneath her.”

At her words you were thrown over the edge, waves of white-hot pleasure crashing over you as your orgasm worked through you. Lottie kept going, never letting up, working you through your orgasm, biting slightly at your pulse point and moaning into your skin. Your entire mind went blank, and you were conscious only of the euphoria overtaking you and everywhere her body met yours, consumed so entirely by her.

“Good girl,” she purred, slowing her pace, stopping when you whimpered and pushed her hips away. Gently she pulled out of you, undoing the strap and harness and tossing it to the side. She pulled the blindfold from your eyes, and you could’ve melted from the look she gave you, so full of love and pride. “You did so good for me, angel.”

She laid back, pulling you with her so that your head was resting on her chest. You listened contentedly to her heartbeat, allowing it to pull your own into steady rhythm as you came down and exhaustion overtook you.

“Are you feeling better?” You asked quietly between heavy breaths, remembering how irritable she’d been when she had first come home. “I know your day was so shitty.”

She nodded, running her hand slowly up and down your back. “You always make me feel better, sweetheart.”

“Did I do okay?”

She chuckled softly, and you could tell from her tone that she was smiling. “You did absolutely perfect, my love.”

You smiled softly, inching impossibly closer to her.

“Want me to get something to clean us up? Do you want any water or anything?” She asked gently, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

“In a few minutes,” you said, wrapping your arms around her middle to keep her close. “I just want to lay here with you for a little while.”

“Okay, sweet girl. Get some rest, and I’ll be right here.”

And in the calm of her presence you rested, to the everlasting love you surrendered, allowing yourself to fall leisurely into sleep.

[kissingmilfs]

💌 lottie matthews…i would let you stay in my home rent free. you can have absolutely 0 boundaries with me. in fact—if you want to play spin the bottle—at every sleepover every night i would welcome that. 💌

[valemrsn]

yellowjackets is so cool i wish that they all lived in the wilderness happily and no one died ever and it was 10x more gay

[lottiesboy]

mama lottie matthews with a clingy and fussy baby regressor...

first thing i’m writing about lottie after 304 :(( i miss her so bad i hate this :/ been missin her a lot these past couple days but i don’t have the power to rewatch s2 bc ill be a emotional wreck 😭😭 wrote this last night at like 2am so if there are spelling mistakes MY BAD…

lottie knows how clingy and fussy you get, so she’s always near in case you need her. she knows you’re very dependent on her, and she thinks it’s the sweetest thing.

when she’s in a different room, like in the kitchen cooking dinner, she always moves your playpen close to her so you can see her while she’s not holding you. “you can see mama just fine from here, darling.” she sits you down and gives you your paci and a kiss.

lottie is somewhat of a clingy cg herself … getting held by each other grounds the both of you. she’ll always jump at the chance to have you in her arms.

leaving you with some of the other yjs - like shauna or tai - whenever she needs to do grown up things, you always cry when you get dropped off, already trying to come with your mama. “don’t cry, sweetheart. mama’s gonna be back in just a little while, yeah? can you be such a good baby while mama’s gone?”

you always want to be so close to lottie, you’re basically stuck to her like glue. you always grip her shirt or kaftan because you’re scared she might go away.

if you’re crying, or just a little fussy, she’s quick to calm you down, picking you up and bouncing you, maybe even singing you a song to get you settled. “oh i know… someone’s having a fussy day, huh? you need mama today?” she’s rocking you, stroking your head.

it really brings a smile on her face when you asked her to stay during a nap or bedtime, because seeing you so peaceful makes her so happy. the soft song of your mobile and your sleepy little noises are music to her ears.

but she’ll let you sleep in her bed when you’re feeling a bit too clingy, and she’ll put on some cartoons for you and read you a story.

[kessellluvr]

perv!lottie blurb.. ^~^ im high while writing this.

🔞- cnc!!, wlw sex, spanking, marking

imagine being one of lottie’s acolytes and shes just so obsessed with you.. like whenever youre out of your room she goes to sniff your panties and you notice them going missing sometimes, but you blame it on yourself like “yeah i probably put them under the bed.” and youre too lazy to check ^_^ at night she rubs herself with them %\>{>]^ plus, she’s always touchy, her hand on your lower back or even your ass when she’s behind you, watching you do something. aaand then she gets drunk, finding the courage to sneak into ur room, watching you while youre asleep - burying her face between your thighs and eating you out till you wake up.. and you cant help but like it, like.. having this goddess worship you like this? fuuck. youre gripping her hair, trying so bad not to moan too loud and she’ll fuck you the whole night.. using the hell out of your tight pussy <3! lottie loves leaving her imprint on you, wether its her handprint on your reddened, burning ass after she spanks you or its a hickey or bite mark. she wants everyone to know that youre hers!! and the next morning lottie will act like nothing ever happened just to repeat it at night!!

[owuwi]

CHARLOTTE

MATTHEWS.ᐟ

summary: she didn't tell you it was her birthday.

pairing: charlotte matthews x gn!reader

warnings: none

1.3k words

Today seemed like quite a normal day, nothing out of the usual. Charlotte woke up earlier and left a note saying she needed to head to the market but wanted you to get as much sleep as possible — your girlfriend was always so caring —, so you slept a bit more before eventually getting up from bed to start your day. Once again, everything was quite normal; her followers people were doing their own stuff and nothing seemed out of place.

A couple of hours passed by and you hadn't seen Charlotte, so you decided to ask Lisa if she knew anything about the older woman's whereabouts. Lisa briefly explained that your girlfriend returned a couple of minutes ago and was currently giving a tour of the place but she then asked you if you could help her with a couple of things, and you couldn’t tell her no. Lisa was actually nice and she was the most normal person you’ve met at Charlotte’s compound, so spending some time with her wasn’t actually bad.

She told you she needed help with one last thing at 7:00 pm, she needed you to check on someone. It was this girl that's been at the compound for a couple of months and she truly seemed to be getting better, but Charlotte told everyone that she needed to be under constant supervision. The girl immediately initiated small talk with you the moment you stepped into her room, but she then asked you a question that made you freeze for a moment. "How's Charlotte? I wanted to make her something for her birthday but didn't have the chance." She said, and you couldn't help but to ask her to repeat her comment. Today was Charlotte's birthday? And you didn't know? You made up some excuse to the girl and quickly left her room, rushing back to you and Charlotte's own quarters.

To say you were panicking was an understatement. You've been dating the brown-eyed woman for about six months but the topic of her birthday never came up, leaving you like a bad partner. You immediately pulled out every ingredient there was on the fridge and thought about what to make for dinner, but you knew you — thankfully — had some time to think and prepare. Charlotte was a busy woman, especially in days where she showed people the compound, so you still had a couple of hours left.

It was now 9:30 pm and you had just finished baking a cake, the sound of the front door opening snapping you back into reality. You previously grabbed every single candle your girlfriend owned and littered them all over the place, lighting them up and turning the lights off to make everything looked even prettier. You also placed some rose petals on the floor and table, wanting things to be perfect. "Sweetheart? What's all this?" The older woman asks before letting out a little laugh and walking over to you. "Uh... happy birthday.." You simply mumble out in reply to her question as you wrap your arms around her frame and pull her in for a little kiss.

You can feel how she tenses a bit in your hold at the mention of her birthday, but she quickly kisses you back and wraps her own arms around you. "How did you-" She starts as she pulls away from the kiss before you cut her off. "Why didn't you tell me?" It was now your turn to ask her a question, tilting your head to the side and looking at her with a hint of disappointment in your gaze.

"Because i-... it's not a big deal to me." The woman simply replies — clearly not minding — while she slowly runs her delicate hands through your hair. You knew what she was doing, she was trying to make you relax and forget about it, and it almost worked. You quickly snapped out if the little trance she was pulling you into and said; "It is to me..."

Then, Charlotte realized that you truly felt bad, making her feel a tiny bit guilty for not telling you when her birthday was. She lets out a sigh and her gaze shifts from you and forward the dinner table, a warm smile forming on her lips as she finally notices the meal you prepared, the bottle of her favorite wine you opened, and the small cake you baked. "I'm just not used to anyone caring that much about me to celebrate the day i was born.." She hesitantly whispers some moments later, the warm smile on her lips turning sadder as she looks at you.

You knew a few things about Charlotte's past and you knew about how careless her parents were with her but still, hearing her say those words broke your heart. "Well... i care.." You respond before leaning in and placing another tender kiss to her soft lips.

You knew that you would end up crying if this conversation kept going, that's why you gently pull away from the kiss and grab her hand, leading her towards the dinner table. "I uh-... i hope you like it.." You murmur as you sit down in front of her, looking at her with the silliest smile on your face. "Oh i'm sure i will, my love." Your girlfriend quickly reassures you. And with that said, you two start eating, enjoying the tranquil atmosphere.

The moments that passed were filled with loving words and laughter, the dim lit light of the candles covering your bodies with a warmth that only made things even better. After finishing dinner, you quickly lift the plates up and get ready for the cake, and Charlotte couldn't help but to laugh a little. "Are we really doing this?" She couldn't help but to ask, looking quite amused and almost a bit embarrassed by the scene that was about to happen. "Of course we are! It's not a proper birthday celebration without singing!" You immediately reply yet you couldn't help but to laugh at the sight of Charlotte's expression.

Even with the older woman's — faux — complains, the moment was still perfect, as it always was whenever you were with her. She was laughing the whole time she was cutting her cake thanks to your lovely singing in the background, which only made everything even more memorable. After eating the cake — which actually was quite tasty —, it was now time to wash the dishes. You managed to convince Charlotte to let you wash them and she stood behind you the whole time, comforting arms wrapped around your waist , chin on your shoulder, her lips occasionally kissing the skin of your neck.

She immediately dragged you into your shared room the moment you were done with the dishes and started taking her day clothes off, which you quickly followed suit. She chose a new kaftan to cover herself up before gently wrapping her arms around you — once again —and then laying the two of you on the bed. "You know... this is truly the best birthday i've ever had.." She comments in a soft yet vulnerable voice, breaking the silence as she continues to hold you against her body.

You shift your head a bit so your ear was pressed against her chest, the sound of her steady heartbeat causing you to momentarily close your eyes. "I'm glad, i just wished you would've actually told me so i could've planned everything better.." You mumble out, placing your hand on her stomach and slowly tracing patters over the expensive fabric of her kaftan.

The brown-eyed woman lets out a little chuckle at your words but was quite glad that you weren't mad at her or anything like that for not telling you such an important date. "Well, at least now you know, my darling..." She says before leaning down and placing a slow kiss to the top of your head, nuzzling her face against your hair for a little and taking in your scent.

"Now i know.." You repeat Charlotte's words before softly laughing and then sighing, allowing your body to finally relax and melt in your girlfriend's embrace, feeling yourself beginning to succumb to the tiredness.