#i need to sleep for ten million years

[astrobei]

good news is that haven and i engaged in so much homosexual activity at the lesbian bar last night bad news is that now god is humbling us for it

[luciana-silentstar]

I decided because I love suffering that everyone gets their own halter.

[rafeandonlyrafe]

gold ring

words: 1.3k

warnings: brief suspicion of cheating, established relationship, soft!rafe, proposal, fluffy

“rafe!” you groan out, tired of hearing his phone constantly dinging for the past ten minutes. 

when rafe doesn't answer, you slap your laptop closed, frown on your face as you head up the stairs, muttering to yourself about him interrupting your work that he KNOWS is important.

“rafe!” you shout, entering his bedroom. you can finally hear the spray of the shower, explaining why he was letting his phone go off.

you grab it from his bedside table, yanking the charger free as you go to silence it, but upon trying to stop the dinging, you skim over the notifications.

you don't believe it at first. it must be some kind of mistake, you're sure.

you click on the name of rafes ex girlfriend, opening up the text message thread.

rafe: when can we meet?

ex: whenever works for you 🥺

ex: i miss you a lot btw

ex: this friday at 6pm? we can meet at the country club like we always used to. maybe get dinner? can't wait to see you xxx

you frown at the messages, quickly locking the phone and setting it down when you hear the shower turn off.

rafe steps out with just a towel wrapped around his waist.

“hey princess.” he smiles. “how's the essay going?”

“fine.” your tone is cold, surprising rafe. “your phone was ringing so i silenced it.”

you walk out of the room without another word, needing to return to your homework, but when you sit back down at what has become your desk, you can't concentrate on the words on the screen, your anger bubbling over.

you want to confront rafe, but you need time to breathe otherwise the entire conversation will be unintelligible as you simply sob.

you head upstairs, grabbing your backpack and slinging it over your shoulder as rafe emerges from the closet, fully dressed.

“where you going babe? got study group?” he questions, glancing at the clock on the wall, realizing there's no way study group would be meeting this late.

“going home.” you mumble, making sure everything you usually leave at rafes is stuffed in your bag.

“you are home?” rafe questions, his expression turning sad when he sees you're not joking.

“no, im not rafe.” you sigh. “i want to sleep in my own bed tonight.”

truth is, you've practically moved into tanneyhill since you started dating rafe, but technically you still live at your parents house, only a few doors down from rafes.

“is everything alright?” rafe asks, trying to reach out for you. “what did i do wrong?”

you can't help it anymore, his obvious disrespect for your relationship, something you put years of work into only for him to go back to his ex girlfriend.

“how about you ask your ex?” you question, tears streaming down your cheeks.

“my ex? what are you talking about?” rafe asks, again trying to hold you by your shoulders, but you take a step back before his palms can land on you.

rafe: ive asked you a million times to give that ring back. you never should have taken it in the first place. it was my grandmother's and now it belongs to y/n, not you.

“i saw your texts, rafe. when can we meet? are you fucking kidding me!?” you shout the last sentence.

“baby, wait.” he says softly, grabbing his phone. he opens up the messages, scrolling up so you can see the full context.

ex: i don't know where it is 

rafe: bullshit. give it back or ill call the cops

ex: fine. 

rafe: when can we meet?

“see, baby?” rafe places a soft hand on your shoulder. “i was just trying to get my shit back. i have no interest in my ex at all. i love you.”

“oh, rafe!” you coo out, throwing your arms around his shoulders. “im so sorry i doubted you.”

“it's okay, id also be pissed if you were texting your ex. i didn't tell you just because i wanted to keep it a surprise.”

“keep what a surprise?” you furrow your brows together.

“what do you?- ohhh.” rafe finally catches on, letting out a chuckle. “i see what you're doing.”

you giggle, rising to your tiptoes to press a kiss to rafes soft lips. 

“now let's get back to work on that essay, yeah?” rafe says. “i can help you.”

“and what do you know about microbiology that could possibly help me?” you snicker.

rafe rolls his eyes dramatically. “fine, but i can at least be there for moral support.”

--

you've been expecting it for months now, wondering when rafe will pop the question. you know he got the ring back, and while he's taken you on romantic dates and moonlit walks on the beach, you're not sure when he will actually drop to one knee.

“what are you thinking for your nails this week?” your girlfriend asks.

originally, you were doing all white and plain, but recently for summer you've been branching out to bright colors again.

“why, is there a certain color i should get?” you raise your eyebrow at her. 

“well i was gonna get a sparkly white, maybe we could match.” she shrugs. it's no discredit to your friend, but her acting isn't good enough to fool you, and you're sure that rafe asked her to make sure you get something appropriate and properly bridal.

you of course get simple nails that you hope will compliment a silver ring on your finger.

you look at the calendar hanging on the wall, reading through your events for the upcoming week, trying to figure out when rafe may ask the question.

you ultimately give up on trying to figure it out as you head further into the house, calling out for rafe. 

“baby? where are you?” you shout, surprised when you don't get a response. you head up to your bedroom, figuring he must be in the shower, but the bathroom door is wide open when you enter.

you almost miss it, so set on finding rafe, but the dress laying on the edge of the bed ends up catching your attention.

put this on and meet me outside.

you recognize rafes handwriting instantly. you set the paper to the side and look at the dress. its a soft light pink material, nearly white.

you are quick to undress and put on the flowy dress, admiring yourself in the mirror before touching up your hair and makeup next. rafe knows how you like to prepare for big events in your life.

your steps are slow, or at least you attempt to keep them slow, as you want to cherish this moment. your eyes light up with the glow of the backyard, string lights hanging from every tree, and on the edge of the sand, is rafe.

“oh.” you cover your mouth, feeling tears well up in your eyes. this has to be the moment. you run to him, arms wrapping around his shoulders as he spins you.

“baby, i haven’t even asked yet.” rafe chuckles, setting you down.

“and i’m already saying yes.” you giggle, although it’s no secret to rafe what your answer would be.

“still-” rafe places his hands on your hips, stilling you before he drops down onto one knee, pulling a box out of his pocket. he flips open the lid to reveal the most stunning ring you’ve ever seen, it’s exactly what you envisioned and somehow so much more.

“you’ve made me happier than i ever thought possible. you fixed all my broken pieces and made me whole again. there’s no one else i’d rather spend forever with.”

rafe looks up at you, tears brimming in his eyes, overwhelmed with the emotion of the moment. “will you marry me?”

“yes!” you squeal, falling to your knees alongside rafe and pressing your lips against his. “yes, yes. a million times yes.”

sfw tags: @winterrrnight @cameronswiftie @ladyinbl00d @ethanthequeefqueen @drewsephrry @wearemadeofstardust0

[orionremastered]

I really love the 911 texting post with the batboys! Quite accurate imo, lol.

If it's possible, may I request how the batboys react to their gf being pouty and touchy with them cuz they've been away for a long time for a big mission?

Thank you! Tho tbh damian would get more than ten assassins. like twenty minimum

Masterlist

Batboys Returning from a Long Mission

Dick Grayson

"You're back!"

Dick's tired eyes take in the apartment. It's clean— cleaner than it's ever been— and there's practically a feast on the kitchen counter.

You fling your arms around him, smiling into his chest. Slowly, he wraps his arms around you, breathing in the familiar scent of your shampoo. "Missed you," he murmurs.

You squeeze him tighter and he winces in pain, letting out a hiss. Your head immediately snaps up and your boyfriend sighs. "I got stabbed— but it's not that bad, I promise— and had to get it stitched some. Relax."

Still, you frown and lift up his shirt, inspecting the stitches on his side.

"See? Fine."

"It doesn't look fine."

"Right... anyway, did you cook something? I'm starving."

You look back into his eyes and nod repeatedly, your own eyes sparkling.

Jason Todd

A soft thud sounds from behind you before arms wrap around your waist. "Hey," he whispers into your ear before kissing you on the cheek. "What're you doing?"

He's climbed through the window. Again.

"I'm about to go to work," you reply, twisting in his hold to return the embrace. "But I'll call in sick and spend today with you."

Jason pulls back and frowns. "No, you should go to work."

"But you just got back!"

"I can wait." Something in his eyes told you he really couldn't, but he wasn't going to say that.

You huff and begin dragging him to the couch. He complies with a sigh, lying down on the cushions and wrapping his arms around you when you lay on top of him.

"I missed you," you tell him.

"I missed you too."

Tim Drake

You wake up to Tim having draped himself on top of you during the night, his hand resting on your cheek. You pull him impossibly closer and he stirs, eyes opening to watch you with a questioning look.

"When did you get back?"

The sunlight streams through the curtains, bathing his face in a golden glow. A smile cracks onto his face before he buries it into your neck with a groan. "Late," is all he says, a chuckle in his tone.

"You should get some more sleep," you chide, running a hand through his dark hair.

"But—"

"I can make you breakfast or lunch for when you wake up again but you need rest," your tone leaves no room for argument, yet he scowls before putting his face back in the crook of your neck.

"Stay?"

"...okay, I'll stay."

Damian Wayne

There's nothing that made you smile more than seeing him again. And directly after you made him breakfast and let him rest, you dragged him out to a restaurant for lunch.

"I would've been happy with just eating at home," he tells you, holding your hand as you walk back to your apartment.

"But I wanted to do something nice for you," you pout. "And then you had to pay."

"I would've never let you pay in a million years," Damian says, face scrunching in disgust and the thought. "So it was me saying sorry for being gone so long."

You smile and lean into his side. "I'm just glad you're back."

He lets go of your hand and wraps it around your shoulders. "I'm glad to be back."

[everythingne]

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ ➛ million dollar baby (gr63)

wolff!reader x george russell // fc: lani pliopa

Being the eldest daughter, you kept pretty much everything to yourself in favor of your siblings getting the limelight. When you start soft-launching your boyfriend after years of being quiet about who he is, everyone scrambles to find the truth.

warnings/notes: nothing really? i do have george win silverstone in this (i wrote it forever ago ok?) so just pretend he did. just pretend guys. pls.

liked by lewishamilton, georgerussell, alexalbon, and others...

ynwolff: hanging with the wolff pack (+ george) back home before our home race this weekend <3

tagged: georgerussell, susiewolff, mercedesamg

mercedesamg: refueling for a great weekend ahead !!

user: the photo of jack and george shut up

lilymhe: WHOOO??? FLOWERS??? HELLO??

⤷ ynwolff: shut up shut up ur gonna summon alex shh

⤷ alexalbon: BITCH WHAT?

logansargeant: @ ynwolff , alex and lily are literally losing it over this.

⤷ ynwolff: greaaaattt 🫠

user: is george driving in the second pic??

⤷ user: no bc who else would have a convertible mercedes if not george russell

georgerussell: i still think the trunk is unnesscessary

⤷ ynwolff: shut uP RUSSELL???

user: imagine being rich enough to have huge flower bouquets in the back of your mercedes... i could cry

susiewolff: oh, this is where all the flowers came from?

⤷ ynwolff: 😀 yes ! they are mine !

⤷ susiewolff: ur father has extra vases in the downstairs bathroom

⤷ ynwolff: thank uuu xx

liked by susiewolff, georgerussell, landonorris, and others...

ynwolff: silvastone day one baby !! (expect insane spam this weekend.)

tagged: susiewolff, mercedesamg

lewishamilton: i need the bono photo for... reasons...

⤷ ynwolff: im gonna start paying you for using my wolff charm to get blackmail

⤷ lewishamilton: i literally buy you so much food atp shut up

⤷ ynwolff: 🩵

mickschumacher: glad the gloves are getting use

user: oh to be yn

mercedesamg: those flowers are as beautiful as our favorite head communications officer 🩵

⤷ ynwolff: admin when i see u tomorrow i will kiss u on the lips

⤷ mercedesamg: toto told me to stop flirting with u :(

⤷ ynwolff: booo tomato tomato tomato

user: JACK AND THE CARRR SOBBSS

susiewolff: more flowers?

⤷ ynwolff: what if i said i just really like flowers ?

⤷ susiewolff: i would say your father is suspicious

⤷ ynwolff: when is he not though..

liked by susiewolff

ynwolff added to their story!

replies...

alexalbon: does george know mystery man??

⤷ ynwolff: he's sworn to secrecy, sorry !

lewishamilton: ah yes. the peak of subtly.

landonorris: aren't you both supposed to be sleeping?

⤷ ynwolff: says you, norris. ill tell jon on you >:)

⤷ landonorris: WOW.

susiewolff: your father says both of you need to sleep

⤷ ynwolff: why are you both awake 😭

⤷ susiewolff: you know toto has like a sixth sense for you, right? he heard you leave the room.

⤷ ynwolff: LMAO okay 👍🏻 we are coming back up

⤷ ynwolff: tell dad i beat george at pool

⤷ susiewolff: he says good job

liked by ynwolff

ynwolff has added to their story!

liked by danielricciardo, logansargeant, alexalbon, and others...

ynwolff: what a quali!! p4 and p5!! so proud of my boys!

tagged: mercedesamg, roscoelovescoco, georgerussell, lewishamilton

danielricciardo: roscoe the mvp

user: jack in the chair omg

mercedesamg: a great day with great help from even the littlest wolffs!!

user: lewis in the shades og my GOD

user: another day another set of great george photos from yn

lewishamilton: did lowkey fear for my life with your father chasing me...

⤷ ynwolff: fair enough

susiewolff: a great day today :)!

logansargeant: what secrets his roscoe spill?

⤷ ynwolff: @ lewishamilton s secret to looking so good at his old age

⤷ lewishamilton: its called melanin and neither of you have it

georgerussell: thanks for all the love today yn 🩵

user: yn always takes really good photos and ten really fucking funny ones

⤷ user: shes the queen of duality

secretlifeofyn (private acc) has added to their story!

replies...

lando.jpg: shut the actual fuck up is this a date??

⤷ secretlifeofyn: remind me why i let you into this account again?

roscoesdad: fucking called it, tell george he owes me dinner

⤷ secretlifeofyn: have you ever noted the three of us always bet dinner? (george said he'd pay next time)

⤷ roscoesdad: yeah because food is the best currency, duh?

alobonoo: OH MY FUCKING GOD?

alobonoo: HELLO??

notalexsm: oh !!! oh my god !!! shut upp!!! this is george right?

⤷ secretlifeofyn: the watch gives it away, doesn't it?

⤷ notalexsm: yes (charles says congrats if this is a date!!)

⤷ secretlifeofyn: tell charles thank you <3

maxverstappen: if you need a hideout from your father after he finds this one out, we have an extra bedroom, the fee is babysitting p

⤷ secretlifeofyn: thanks max i will keep that in mind 🙏🏻

liked by alobonooo, lilgrit, lilyzneimer, and 154 others...

secretlifeofyn: everyone on this account is sworn to secrecy (because my father) but YES. WE ARE DATING. NOW SHUT UP !!!!

alobonoo: HOLY FUCKING SHIT YOU GUYS HAVE A DEATH WISH

alobonoo: called this like two years ago tho i am the oracle

⤷ muninotlily: alex the oracle of georgeyn

⤷ secretlifeofyn: GEORGEYN??

lilgrit: the day toto realizes it's george you're dating, a health bar is gonna appear at the top of george's eyeline with the word 'toto' on top

⤷ ls2.priv: he stands no chance im afriad.

ls2.priv: rip george you would've loved the flintstones 💔

junior55: @ lando.jpg you owe me sushi for this

⤷ lando.jpg: @ mrsaturday how could u do this to me?

lilyzneimer: awee!!! congrats guys!!

mrsaturday: we posted this so you guys would STOP and you got WORSE

muninotlily: alex is pacing help me

⤷ lando.jpg: LOLLL HE LOST SO MANY BETS 😭

⤷ secretlifeofyn: what bets did you guys place im scared

⤷ lando.jpg: we bet george couldn't pull you

⤷ mrsaturday: i have won so much money

⤷ secretlifeofyn: if you buy me more flowers my dad is going to actually be concerned.

maxverstappen: the extra bedroom offer still stands

⤷ secretlifeofyn: thanks max we'll need it

liked by mercedesamg, susiewolff, georgerussell and others...

ynwolff: pre-race day silverstone !! <3 (not shown, the 1356 photos george took of himself when I asked him to hold my phone while i was in a meeting...)

tagged: mercedesamg, lewishamilton, georgerussell

mercedesamg: always having fun out here!!

georgerussell: i blessed your phone with my beauty

⤷ ynwolff: whatever u say georgie

⤷ user: georgie ??????

lewishamilton: the 1356 photos are funny though

landonorris: just a guy being a guy

user: the photo of george with the screen behind him feels like a meme format

user: george looks so squishy in the last picture

user: not yn getting the cutest photo of george ever??

susiewolff: your father swore that sweater wasnt going to be too much

⤷ ynwolff: not to expose him but he took it off in five minutes

⤷susiewolff: and now its missing

⤷ ynwolff: I BOUGHT HIM THAT >:(!!!

alexalbon: i demand blackmail material

⤷ ynwolff: buy me snacks and then we'll talk

liked by f1, mercedesamg, georgerussell, and more...

ynwolff: OBLIGATORY GEORGE POST !!! (approved by @ lewishamilton ok no one get mad ! i love my boys equally !)

george!! we were joking about this moment last night but you pulled it off!! i could not be more proud of the work you put in today, you pulled it off last second and made me gnaw my nails off a few times but thats okay.

so so so proud, you get a drink or two on me tonight ! 🩵

tagged: georgerussell, mercedesamg

georgerussell: IM SORRY ABOUT YOUR NAILS ILL PAY FOR NEW ONES !! 😭

⤷ georgerussell: your support does mean the world yn thank you 🩵

⤷ ynwolff: you deserve every bit of it! 🩵

lewishamilton: amazing work as always for both of you!

user: YAYYY GEORGE POST!!!

user: finally a george post to match the iconic lewis post

susiewolff: great work today @ georgerussell !

⤷ georgerussell: thank you susie :)!

mickschumacher: great job george!

user: GEORGE RUSSELL!!!!

user: god the pictures yn gets of george are... fucking AMAZING.

landonorris: mr saturday did it

alexalbon: yabadababoo

⤷ logansargeant: yabadadabadoo

⤷ georgerussell: you both suck :(

⤷ ynwolff: no!!! its cute!!!

⤷ ynwolff: no!! leave them alone :(!

⤷ user: i see that deleted comment yn. ur not slick.

liked by 9823 others...

liked by mrsaturday, alobonoo, muninotlily, and more...

secretlifeofyn: i dont remember any of these photos after the first one. how much did i drink.

roscoesdad: enough for your father to think you DIED until i told him you and george were in my room and fell asleep (you are welcome. i expect free food for a month for this selfless act.)

⤷ secretlifeofyn: i will buy you literally anything lewis oh my fucking god i owe you my LIFE

⤷ lilgrit: the question should be how much didn't you drink because holy shit

alobonoo: u drank literally everyone under the table slay

muninotlily: oh so u stayed with george ? 👀

⤷ secretlifeofyn: hes like a big pillow

⤷ mrsaturday: she's not letting me out of bed :(

maxverstappen: hate to be the bearer of bad news but twitter did catch you ! have fun!

⤷ secretlifeofyn: MAX WHAT?

⤷ mrsaturday: MAX??

lando.jpg: LOL GOOD LUCK GUYS

liked by alexalbon, landonorris, susiewolff, and others...

ynwolff: good news! george and i are dating and my dad did NOT kill him when he found out! bad news! i now have to share my location.

tagged: georgerussell

susiewolff: i think continually sneaking out and then not answering your phone for almost fifteen hours is enough reason to track you

⤷ ynwolff: susie plsssss 🩵 convince him to get rid of it?

⤷ mercedesamg: toto says thats not happening anytime soon. and to tell george curfew is ten.

⤷ ynwolff: I DONT LIVE WITH HIM ANYMORE??

⤷ georgerussell: she's gonna be back by nine if she keeps biting my arm

⤷ ynwolff: stop putting it within biting range then, russell

⤷ georgerussell: you just walked across the room to bite me.

⤷ user: LMAAOOOO YN UR SO REAL FOR THIS

user: "you'd rather i didnt" YN PLSSSS

georgerussell: remind me to never try to sneak around your father again

⤷ alexalbon: buying like nine bouquets of flowers in two days is not exactly sneaking

⤷ georgerussell: she likes flowers and i was excited :(

user: kiss ya in 11! im gonna go lay on a highway in 12!

user: i too, would fall for yn when she threatened me

landonorris: my favorite new grid couple

⤷ georgerussell: we have been dating for like two years??

⤷ landonorris: WHAT?

⤷ alexalbon: HUH??

⤷ oscarpiastri: oh?

⤷ danielricciardo: well god damn

⤷ lewishamilton: how in the hell did we just now find out?

⤷ ynwolff: LMAOOO two years next week <3

⤷ susiewolff: yn you are going to give your father a heart attack

[helioooss]

hard times

part two

synopsis: you have been dating mina in secret for nearly five years now. things start to fall apart after her fans finally raise speculations about your true relationship with her

w/c: 7.4k ((oops, got carried away and dragged it out))

warnings: mentions of alcohol…lots of angst. actually just pure angst

a/n: if i had a dollar for every time i yelled “girl, stand up for yourself” while writing this, i’d have like $6. againnnn, not proofread, was sleep deprived writing this, also only had 12 hours of free time at work <//3

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

The early rays of sunlight cracked through the blackout curtains of your apartment window, sending out golden hues of light to wake you up. You turned over to wrap your arms around your girlfriend, but to your surprise, were met with cold sheets and an empty bed instead.

In confusion, you slowly opened your eyes - melting away any remnants of sleep. As far as you were aware, she had nothing written down on her schedule today.

You were about to reach out for your phone when you noticed the answer to your question: a handwritten note sitting on the bedside table from no other than Mina herself.

A smile tugged on the corners of your lips, she knew you too well.

good morning my love, i got called into a morning meeting with head office today. i should be back home for lunch!

love, minari <3

Sitting up, you let the familiar silence settle around you. You were suddenly reminded of how lucky you were to be a part of Mina's life - to be able to call her your own, she chose you even when the rest of the world wanted her.

Four years later, your love for her only grew deeper with every sunset and beating of your heart. The timeless moments that built your relationship; from the late-night game dates, flying to every tour show, holding her hand as she achieved her dreams and even the silly little arguments that made your relationship stronger — you were grateful for them all.

The light that she brought into your life was otherworldly- she was everything (and perhaps more) you needed.

Though sometimes, there were moments where you wished you could just tell the world about your girlfriend because the world outside of yours, you were only one of her closest friends. At least, her family and friends knew, and to some extent, her company. You could write a million books about her and it still wouldn't be enough.

There was a delicate balance in the fragile world you built together. Mina worked as a popstar and you were an independent producer.

It helped that you grew up with one of her bandmates, Jihyo, who (unfortunately) was always a good first excuse whenever questions were raised as to why you were so dedicated to being present in almost every show. Secondly, you were one of their producers.

Besides that, you had pretty much perfected the art of being Mina's best friend. Anniversaries were orchestrated carefully, always planned months ahead of time and any public appearances involved being friendly with her as possible. Your longing smiles and shared looks were a soft reminder of your love for each other, and that was enough for now.

In the corner of your dimly lit studio, you worked in front of the mixer endlessly - isolated from the rest of the world as you poured yourself into your craft. You were constantly attempting to push JYP into releasing more music outside of TWICE's comfort zone, something the girls had respected you for.

The buzzing of your phone pulled you out of your work trance as you frantically grabbed it out of your pocket. It was Jihyo and it had to be something important if she was calling you at ten in the morning.

"What brings forth the Queen's presence?" you chuckled, however, she held her silence on the other end. "Hello, earth to Jihyo?"

"Have you seen the link Momo and Dahyun sent you?"

You frowned at the seriousness in her tone, the weight of her emotions passing to you. "Good morning to you too, and no, I've been working since I got up."

She heaved out a sigh. "It's not looking too good, Y/N, not good at all."

"What are you on about?"

Within a second, you were scrolling through the group chat you shared with the other members. Multiple links were sent out and you wish you hadn't clicked on it because the sudden doom you were feeling was horrifying - your world had just been turned upside down.

Mina and Y/N - more than friends?

The first one you had clicked was a video compiled of Mina's longing stares, the changes in her mood whenever your name was mentioned and of course, the moments you two shared together in public as friends being carefully dissected. She wore a different persona around you - the one you were only meant to see, and it didn't click to you how painfully obvious it was.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," you muttered as you clicked another link, heart racing as you watched the headlines unfold.

This time, it was a tweet; a photo of her in one of her many disguises next to a photo of you and her holding hands at the beach...the only indication pointing to her was the fact that she wore the exact same outfit.

There were more "evidences" but you had seen enough.

You have never felt this violated in your life, years of cherished memories were now tarnished by the mere fact that it was being shared around for the public to scrutinise. It would be a lie to say that you two had not prepared for this, but there was always the illusion of your lives being separate - safe in the world you had built.

"It's going to be okay," Jihyo tried her best to comfort you in her soft voice. "Is she not home?"

"No, she told me she got called into a meeting and I'm assuming it's all because of this mess," you plopped your head against your pillow, a million thoughts already running through your head. "Do you think she'll get kicked out of the group?"

"Are you kidding me?" Jihyo scoffed at you. "We aren't Twice without Mina. The only options for JYP are to either confirm, deny or not say anything at all."

"I'm going to lose her, I know it," you gasped out, running your fingers through your hair. "What am I going to do?"

"You know what Mina always says about you, Y/N?" it was Chaeyoung's voice on the line this time. "That she wouldn't be able to do all of this glitz and glamour if she didn't have you in it. You're her anchor, remember that.

"Thank you," you strung out, voice heavy. "I appreciate it."

"Your relationship will always have our support, we love you as much as we love that penguin."

Mina suddenly barged into your studio a mess; puffy eyed and hair messy. Her face showed a mix of anger, uncertainty and more importantly, fear of what the future held for the both of you. In the middle of all the chaos surrounding your relationship, you opened your arms wide for her and you were met with a crying Mina falling into your chest.

"I'm so sorry, baby," her voice was barely above a whisper. "Tell your family that I'm sorry. Everyone's going to pry into your life and —"

You squeezed her body tight, making her stop as you kissed her temple lovingly. You were just as lost as her. "Have you forgotten that everyone was prepared for this? Don't worry about my family, they'll be fine, I'm more worried about your career."

She looked up at you, biting her bottom lip as hard as she could. "They want me to confirm the old dating rumours I had with Jeno."

"What?" your question held so much frustration and turmoil. Out of all the possibilities you two had considered, you didn't see a fake relationship with another idol coming. "How the fuck is that going to help you?"

"They're convinced a relationship with him will be more beneficial for me than damaging, and it'll stir away all those rumours about us if the public is convinced enough," she replied, her tone mirroring your bitterness. "They also want you to go on friendly dates with other idols and make it look like you do this with everyone else."

Your eyebrows furrowed, your grip on her arms loosening. "And you said okay to all of this?"

"I had no choice," she bellowed out, another set of tears prickling out of her eyes. "It was either I lose you forever or for a short amount of time and I picked the latter!"

You sent her an apologetic look, letting out a sigh. It was a mission to contain the surge of anger flowing through you in front of Mina, it was the last thing she needed. This storm would pass, however, it was sailing together that worried you the most.

"I love you, Y/N," Mina firmly reassured you. "Do you know that?”

"I love you too, I'm sorry."

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

In the days that followed, against both of your wills, Mina temporarily moved out of your apartment and "officially" started dating Jeno. Alongside that was the release of a series of photos of you with other idols - seemingly justifying your intimate dates with her.

It felt like a blow to your place in the industry. You weren't just a mere producer to the public now, you were linked to almost every member of Twice and Blackpink, years of hard work overshadowed by dating rumours just like that.

The thing that convinced the public the most were old photos of you and Rosé's friendship resurfacing, all the way back from her debut days. A recent one caught Mina's eye out of all of them; the blonde idol was kissing your cheek at your favourite Italian restaurant out of all places - the one you took her out to for your first date.

It was the sole reason for Mina's silence tonight.

You and the members of Twice were all seated around the dorm's dinner table; candlelights flickering and casting shadows in the room as Japanese jazz played in the background.

She was sitting right across from you, absentmindedly twirling her ramen but still refusing to eat it. The soft hum of their conversations were drowned out trying to figure out how to push your girlfriend's sour mood away. And, she looked so beautiful in the light - jet black hair cascading past her shoulders and perfectly framing her divine features.

"My love, aren't you going to eat?" you whispered gently, a tinge of concern beneath your voice. "You haven't touched your food since I got here. Did you not miss me?"

You hadn't seen her in over a week due to your clashing schedules, most of her free time were spent doing publicity stunts with Jeno and most of yours consisted of missing Mina and hanging out with idols you have worked with at least once.

She sent you a tight-lipped smile, pushing a strand of her hair to the back of her ear. "I did miss you, a lot, I'm just bothered."

You gazed at her, raising an eyebrow. "What about, my darling?"

A rush of warmth made its way to her cheeks as she shook her head. "It's nothing important, I'll tell you after dinner, yeah?" she reached for your hand over the table, resting it on top of yours.

Albeit unconvinced, you nodded with her. She didn't speak to you for the rest of the night, choosing to engage in conversations with the group. It would've been reasonable if it weren't for the fact that you hadn't spoken to or seen her all week - the longest you have spent away from each other so far since you started dating.

It didn't seem to have an effect on her and it stung.

Nayeon nudged you with her elbow, noticing the shift in your behaviour. "And what's going on with you, Y/N? I miss seeing you lurk everywhere, and now all these other girls get to be in your presence."

All eyes were on you now, but yours fell on Mina whose jaw was noticeably clenched. You nervously chuckled, taking a big sip out of your chardonnay. "I know, it sucks, but also a perfect opportunity for me to play around with my tunes, you know? It's exhausting, but hopefully it'll all tone down soon...specially with Mina dating Jeno."

"So, having fun with Rosé?" Mina cleared her throat, tone coming out harsher than intended with hurt evident in her eyes. And it caught you and the rest of the girls off-guard. "I didn't know you guys were that close until those photos came out."

"Yeah," you awkwardly trailed off. "I used to work for Teddy at the Black Label. We've always been close but the years have grown us apart, can we talk about this later?"

"Why later?" her voice cracked, burning you with her stare.

Your face was flushed with embarrassment as you took notice of the girls sinking on their seats, trying to make themselves invisible and far away from her wrath because angry Mina was bad, but jealous and angry Mina was the worst version of her to exist, ever.

"Because I haven't seen you in so long and I'd like to have a good night with our friends," you said quietly. "Is that too much to ask, Mina?"

She got up, not before exchanging strained looks with you, unable to hide her emotions any longer. "She's kissing your cheek in one of the photos for god's sake," she shot back at you, footsteps bearing the heavy weight of the mess she created. "Girls, I'll be in my room if you need me, I'm really sorry for ruining the night."

The stunned silence that followed after her departure hung heavy between all of you. You were completely blindsided by her reaction because it was unusual of Mina. She trusted you and your judgement regarding everyone in the industry, and you had always been transparent about your previous relationships. Rosé wasn't even on the list of people you've dated, she was like a sister to you.

"Go after her, Y/N," Jeongyeon was the first to break the silence, a gentle contrast against the previous heated exchange. "She's under a lot of pressure from the company right now - please go easy on her."

You silently excused yourself from the table, trailing behind Mina a minute too long. You opened the door to her room and your heart instantly ached at the sight of her sitting on the edge of the bed with a defeated look on her face.

She glanced up at you, tears streaming down her face. "I don't know where that came from, that was unacceptable and -"

You took a deep breath, kneeling in front of her as you cupped her face in between your palms. "Baby, what's going on?"

"I'm scared and I'm so tired of following rules and I hate holding the hands of someone I barely know and don't love," she started, shoulders trembling with silent cries. "And I hate seeing you with girls who are so much better than me.”

"My love, there is no else better for me in this world. I will always choose you no matter what," you said, wiping streaks of tears off of her face with your thumb. "I love you more than anyone else in the world, you matter to me the most."

She searched your eyes for any ounce of lies, and all she found was sincerity. "You promise?"

"I promise," you took her hand into yours, placing a chaste kiss on the back of it. "I'm all yours."

Her head was resting against yours and you sat frozen in that position for a long time, cherishing this moment for the rough waves ahead of you two.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

After the first wave, it wasn't long before the cracks in your relationship began to show. You weren't allowed to see Mina for a certain amount of time each week and every interaction with her had to be meticulously orchestrated by her managers - date nights are now rare and she barely replied to any of your texts, it felt like your place in her life was slowly being taken over by Jeno.

Arguments were more common than ever, most of it coming from Mina's side with all the built up frustration at the lack of control in her own life getting lashed in your direction.

In one of the rare nights management had allowed you to see her in the space of your own home; a month and a half after the unraveling of the biggest chaos in your lives, she had specifically told you she only had limited time for two rounds of Fortnite and and maybe an hour or two of Minecraft before she had to leave.

Nonetheless, for you, that was more than enough.

You went out of your way to set up a pillow fort in the centre of your living room, Mina's favourite snacks all on display and even putting up fairy lights all over the space. It was the only way you could try to bring back the intimacy that you both lost ever since being outed by the public.

And honestly, you wanted to remind her that you were so much better than Jeno - that you knew her more than he did.

"So, how long ago did she leave?" you were on the phone to Jihyo like normal. These days, with your movements still limited (the rumours between you and Mina have thankfully died down) you confided in her and she let you.

"She should be there any minute now," the other girl hummed, clapping her hands in excitement. "This is going to make her feel so much better, Y/N, I just know it."

"I really hope so, Ji," her old nickname rolled off your tongue like clockwork. "I miss her so much, I wish things could go back to normal."

"Just hold on a little longer, yeah?"

As soon as you heard the locks turn, you stumbled on your feet trying to make yourself somewhat presentable in front of your girlfriend. "I gotta go, I'll let you know how it goes."

Mina appeared behind the door, a tired smile on her face. In an instant, your arms wrapped around her, being smothered with all the kisses she missed from you.

She planted multiple kisses on your lips, equally missing you. "I missed this."

"I'm so glad you're here, Minari," you pulled her into the living room with your back turned towards her. "Just like old times, hey?"

Your eyebrows furrowed when you were met with silence, confused as to why she wasn't saying anything. So, you turned towards her and you wished you hadn't because you felt so small under her cold gaze.

"What's this?" she began, her tired giggles replaced by an angry scowl.

Your hopeful smile was gone. "What do you mean?"

"I'm so fucking tired, I told you not to do anything special, didn't I?" she rubbed her temples in irritation. "You never listen to anything I say."

Your heart sank at the entirety of her words. Tonight was supposed to be special for you both but Mina's lack of effort and gratitude were beginning to show and it hasn't even been five minutes. "I thought it would've been nice to bring a sense of normalcy back into our relationship."

"Normal?" she scoffed at you, clearly offended by the words that came out of your mouth. "There's nothing normal about our whole situation. It's hard for me to keep up with you when you're always at my back for the smallest things. There is only one of me, Y/N, can't I catch a break from you?"

"Mina...what are you saying? What am I doing wrong?" you stood there, dumbfounded at the lack of context in her words. She was simply rejecting you and it felt like a punch to the stomach.

"You're obviously rubbing it in my face that I'm not putting in enough time into our relationship," her voice was laced with nothing but anger. These days, it was a common tone from her. "Do you know how exhausting it is to act like everything is fine when it's not? To act like I'm in love with someone I'm not? I didn't ask for any of this, I just wanted a night of peace - not a fucking extravagant date."

Your expression softened, heart aching at the sight of her scrambling to let all of her bottled emotions out. She was struggling to balance everything and you hoped that she would let you carry some of the weight on her shoulders. "Okay, we'll get all of this silliness out the way," you were trying so hard not to cry in front of her - you hated making things worse but feeling a sense of rejection from your own girlfriend wasn't exactly the best one.

"Forget about it, don't follow me, please," she added, walking out of the living room and into your shared bedroom.

Your heart broke as she stirred away from you with every step, all you could do was sink on the couch - the fort you built crashing after you. Burying your face into your hands, you let the tears fall: you were losing her, and that realisation had cut way too deep.

Minutes later, deep within your thoughts, you failed to notice the presence in front of you until she wrapped her arms around you, muttering gentle apologies and reassurances.

"I'm here, baby," Mina's tone was laced with a heavy sense of regret, drawing circles on your back just like how she used to. "I'm sorry I took it out on you, again."

"I don't understand what I'm doing wrong," you turned to face her with bloodshot eyes. "I'm trying my best for you and none of it seems good enough."

"None of this is on you," she reassured, placing a kiss on your neck - lips lingering longer than usual. "I love you so much, I don't want to lose you."

"It feels like I'm losing you, Mina."

"I'm here until forever, remember?" she promised, a hopeful glint in her eyes.

"I hope so."

"I do know so," she smiled at you with sincerity, that was all it took for you to forgive her. "Let's smash a few rounds in, shall we?"

Mina somewhat kept her promise of putting more effort in, she fought with her managers more, never failing to defend you from their wrath. With the rumours toning down, you were allowed to be out in public with her and Twice again. Of course she was still dating Jeno in their eyes, but with their schedules constantly not aligning due to his group's upcoming album, the rift that was building between you and her grew smaller because it meant she could see you more.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Things were nearly back to normal again, until you had to meet him.

"Remind me why I have to meet this guy again?" you raised an eyebrow as Momo and Sana both circled around you.

"Because the public is starting to notice that despite being Mina's best friend, you have never been seen around Jeno," Momo described the situation perfectly.

"Um, what?" you chuckled. "I could literally say the same thing about you and him!”

"Okay, but we're idols, and our worlds are bound to crash with each other," Sana defended their situation.

You rolled your eyes. "Whatever you two say."

That same night, you were seated around the candlelit dinner table once again. Arriving a little later than usual, you had exchanged formalities with Jeno against your will, and as much as you wanted to hate him, he genuinely seemed like a nice guy and if the circumstances were any different, you would've liked him.

Cutlery clinging and small conversations that were filled with laughter took up the sound of the room. Instead of taking the seat across from Mina like you always did, you chose the one next to Tzuyu. She didn't even notice.

With him around, she barely acknowledged your presence. If anything, she seemed to enjoy being wrapped under his arms as they all laughed to a stupid joke he made.

"Are you alright?" Tzuyu whispered into your ear when she noticed your white knuckles on the wine glass, carefully treading around your anger.

"Me?" you forced a smile.

"I'm asking you, lovely."

"Why would I not be?" you swallowed the bitterness along with your drink. Her eyes held a bunch of questions, frowning when her bandmate who moved a little too close to you for liking. "I'm feeling great, Tzuyu."

Tzuyu didn't press you any further for the rest of the night and as the evening drew to an end, you had nursed at least a bottle of wine to distract yourself. It only heightened the growing knot of jealousy and despair in your chest as Mina laughed to another joke Jeno had said; leaning in closer to him.

"Please enlighten me on what the fuck the show they're putting on is all about," you asked Chaeyoung with a low voice, and heard by Tzuyu and Jihyo as they turned to you. "Are there cameras around?"

"No," Jihyo shook her head, confusion plastered on her face. "You're going to have to ask Mina that."

Chaeyoung sent Jihyo a warning glare, not wanting her to add any more fuel to the fire. "Y/N, are you sure you're meant to be pouring another glass?"

"We've already taken photos, why the fuck is she acting like this in front of me?" your voice feigned with hurt, ignoring the concerned looks from your friends.

The sight in front of you frayed with your emotions and clawed at your insecurities. They looked so perfect together and she seemed happy. At your expense, you watched as he leaned in closer and captured her lips unexpectedly.

You were met with nothing but only horrified looks from everyone in the room, including Mina. The pain in your heart grew, and the temporary bandaid placed on it ripped apart - the wound you thought was healing was gaping open once again. Without thinking, you slid off your seat; chair scraping harshly against the wooden floors.

"I'm sorry, but I have to go attend more important matters," you held your composure firmly, looking Jeno right in the eye before bowing your head down. "It was nice meeting you, you're perfect for Mina. I hope the rest of you have a good night."

Everyone seemed to hold their breath as they finally pieced what the breaking point in your relationship would be. You turned on your heel, not bothering to look behind you. And with one certainty, you held your head up and slammed the door shut.

Outside, you stumbled down the pavement; the cool winter breeze hitting sharply against your flushed skin. You clenched your fists as you tried to steady yourself through the alcohol and the free-falling of your tears - the picture of Mina and Jeno kissing replaying in your head, sealing it into place.

Behind you were audibly hurried footsteps, and Mina's voice echoed throughout the street as she called for you to halt. You quickened your pace but anyone sober was guaranteed to be faster than you. "Please let me explain, Y/N," she pled desperately, grabbing your arm.

"Explain what?" your voice was cold, another set of tears making its way down your face. "How do you explain kissing someone else in front of me? You barely spared me a glance tonight and now you want me to listen to your bullshit?"

Her grip tightened, fearing that you would slip through the cracks and leave her completely. "He doesn't know about us. It's all my fault, I'm sorry, I know I should've told him beforehand but I assumed he would've gotten the hint after meeting you —"

It felt like another punch to the gut. "He doesn't know we're dating?"

The fake relationship with Jeno was supposed to make things better for you and Mina, but it felt like he was slowly seeping into your lives, casting you to the sidelines. You failed to notice all the Jeno this and Jeno that, but it all came to you at once now.

What you had witnessed tonight; the way she slipped into that fake relationship felt too real - it looked like what you two once had.

Mina's features were etched with fear, eyes glistening with tears, and despite all this mess, she looked gorgeous under the streetlights and your hazy vision. "I love you, please stay over tonight."

Your breath shuddered in disbelief. "You want me to go back and watch you play housewife with this guy? Don't you think your actions have embarrassed me in front of our friends enough, Mina?"

"Okay," she heaved out a sigh, pausing to consider her other options. "Then please let me come home with you tonight."

One thing about her was that she was stubborn - always almost determined to win you back immediately after arguments. You've never felt to defeated in your life; in the back of your mind, you knew you were never good enough for Mina.

In your eyes, she was a bright star with so much ahead of her future and the shadow you casted over only dimmed her; she deserved someone who would let her shine. And tonight, you saw that in him.

You shook your head, turning away from her. "Forget about this, okay? Go home, Mina.”

"Y/N, you're not listening to me," her voice trembled. "I wanna come home to you."

Ignoring her desperate pleas, you continued to walk ahead of Mina - widening the gap between the two of you. In one last final act, her body collided with yours from behind, arms wrapped around your waist tightly.

"Mina," you tried to wriggle your way out, but you undermined the extent of her strength. "Let go, people are going to fucking see!"

"Then let them," she cried out. "I'll end this stupid contract and tell him about you and how I have loved you for the past four years. No more drifting apart, my love, it all ends tonight."

You finally gave in to her touch, allowing yourself to lean against her. You began to think about all the things she gave up for you; ones that would've been beneficial for her career but in the end, Mina always chose you. And tonight was no different from that.

She was willing to defy everyone else, with her career on the front lines, just to keep you in her life - but why?

"I love you," she whispered, breaking the silence. "Please don't give up on me now."

You took a deep breath, turning around to face her. "Okay," a flash of hurt appeared in her eyes as she took a good look at your tear-streaked face - regret filling her body knowing that she caused it.

"Okay what, baby?"

"Okay, you can come home to me tonight...after you do all of that."

Her eyes lit up, pulling your face in for a kiss but you immediately stopped her. She looked at you, a mix of hurt and confusion plastered on her face. "What's wrong?"

"I don't want his germs on me, please brush your teeth first," you put your hand up in disgust. "I'll see you at home, okay?"

She chuckled, nodding her head in understanding. "I love you baby, text me when you get dropped home."

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

For the next three months, things settled down for a while. In the eyes of the public, Mina was still dating Jeno - you two figured out that it would be too soon to end it and would only make things worst for the both of you. Their dates were less frequent due to her insistence; she fought for your relationship like she would. And he was extremely apologetic about his actions that night.

The two of you were rediscovering your love for each other, coming out stronger than before. Days were filled with laughter and heartfelt conversation - you were rebuilding your safe space together once more.

Things were good, until they weren't.

You were more careful than before, even after JYP offered an extension of your contract that came with a new apartment in the same building as Twice.

This allowed you to spend more time with the girls whenever you had the chance, hence why you were currently sitting on their couch with a bowl of bulgogi in your hand whilst Mina was away...which seemed more frequent nowadays.

After some blissful weeks together, the shadows of the past were creeping up behind Mina, and the person the came with it was Jeno.

They had frequent shoots for international brands together and were practically the face of the industry after one of their Prada campaigns went viral. The thought that often lingered in the back of your mind, the one that told you that you weren't good enough for Mina, was beginning to resurface in her absence.

"Can you cut more trees for us, Somi?" Chaeyoung rasped out. "Stop swooning that useless and ugly man over, the village doesn't need more mouths to feed right now!"

You chuckled at her frustration, eyes glued to the screen. Tonight's game was Medieval Dynasty, and both Chaeyoung and Somi were new to it. Usually, it was Mina playing it with you but with her often gone, you managed to convince one of her members to play with it - who also swayed her friends, Somi, into it.”

"I don't care, I wanna see useless and ugly babies," she snickered, eyes quickly falling on you. "Can you throw a mouthful of that into my mouth, please? It smells really good.”

"Have some damn shame, Somi," Chaeyoung said, fake annoyance laced in her tone. "Put some in my mouth first.”

"And what makes you two think I'll give you some?" you quirked up an eyebrow. "I asked if you wanted any but you chose to order sushi instead, so live with that decision."

"I just cut you thirty-four trees you ungrateful brat!"

"And I just built you three houses and a hunting lodge, plus I gave you my copper axe."

As the night continued, the nagging doubt inside your mind gnawed stronger - constantly looming over your thoughts. It was nearly midnight and it was unusual for her to be out this late.

to: minari

hey baby, you good? when are you coming home

from: minari

Was out with jeno and some of his members tonight, on mg way home now. Sorry!!!

You frowned; she couldn't even tell you that beforehand. Jamming your phone back into your pocket, you grabbed the controller in frustration again. Jihyo woke up from her "nap" (which was six hours long, you counted) and took the empty space on the couch next to you.

"Was that Mina?" she mirrored your expression. "Why isn't she home yet?”

"Went out with Jeno and his friends," you mumbled, eyes focused on the screen and failing to notice the glances your friends exchanged with each other. "Chaeng, I think you should build a huge orchard. I have all these seeds for you."

Not too long after, the door rang open and Mina stumbled inside; hair messy and eyes red. The scent of alcohol entered the room with her and the laughter faded into concerned looks.

"Hello," she slurred, struggling to kick her heels off her feet. "Hello everyone, sorry for interrupting."

Your heart immediately sank at the state of her, walking over towards her to hold her up. "Christ Mina, how much did you drink?"

She sheepishly smiled at you. "I'd rather not count."

"Okay, let's get you to bed," you said, suppressing your anger for tomorrow's conversation.

As you laid next to Mina with a million thoughts running through your head, you took note of his scent lingering a little too long on her.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

The next few days grew longer. Mina was out almost every night, barely making time for you. You were seated on the edge of your bed, hands buried in your face after Mina had slammed the door on you after voicing out your growing concern about her spending too much time with Jeno.

"You know this is important for my career, right?" she immediately turned defensive after hearing the familiar tone in your voice. "Y/N, the man you speak of is actually boosting Twice again. The girls are getting booked more -"

"And that's awesome," you said gently, going back into the mental box you built around yourself after stepping a foot out. "I don't have a problem with that, but Mina, it's affecting our relationship. I'm not seeing you, you're always out and when you come home, you're hammered. I'm not getting any sleep just staying up to look after you, it's unfair, I have work to do too."

That didn't help your case because she just seemed angrier than a second ago. "Why are you being so selfish? It's always about our fucking relationship and never about my career, do you even care about me?"

"Is it selfish to ask you for the bare minimum?" you bit your lip. "I want you to show our relationship a tinge of respect."

"You're so clingy all the time, I can't stand it," her frustrations were cut short with the sound of her phone ringing. "Why do you always start pointless arguments when I'm just about to leave?"

You sent her a glare. "If you leave now, you can sleep at your dorm tonight."

"Perfect," she clenched her jaw with no hesitance in her voice. "Goodbye, have a nice night!"

That night, you accidentally found out from Momo that your girlfriend didn't end up coming home. Accidentally...because she ended up asking where Mina was after she didn't show up to practice.

You knew the worst had already happened a long time, you felt it in your gut. Something shifted in Mina and its been going on for weeks now, the distant look in her eyes, their intimate photos together - she had been pulling away from you for some time now but you loved her too much to let her go.

Four years. Four years of building your life around your future and this was how it was going to end, tainted by her betrayal.

That wasn't even the turning point for you. No, it wasn't when the girls cornered you into a table in an attempt to talk you into confronting Mina about her late nights, not the photos plastered all over online - the ones with her head on his chest outside of a restaurant in Gangnam and definitely not the smell of his perfume on her clothes.

You knew it was truly over when she barged into your apartment one night with marks all over neck.

The room was illuminated by the television, a random Anerican show playing in the background. Your eyes were glued to the clock on the wall, a glass of whiskey on your hand as you waited for her to come home. She was supposed to be here four hours ago for your anniversary dinner...and she didn't turn up.

Mina was now living a fast life and you fell behind. You sprawled out on the couch, loosening the tie on your neck as you pictured a desolate life without her. It would end all the heartbreak, for sure, but could you really do it without her?

The door creaked open, revealing the disheveled woman in front of you. The knot in your chest tightened, eyes failing to ignore the dark spots on her neck.

"Y/N baby, you're still up?" your presence startled her, assuming you'd be asleep by now, she didn't even bother to hide it.

"Do you know what today is?" your grip on the glass tightened when she remained silent. "Happy fifth anniversary."

The severity of her shortcomings instantly dawned on her, rendering her frozen in her spot. It seemed like those three words pulled her out of the safe bubble she had been living in - away from all the guilt that had been eating its way into her chest. She knew that you have known for a while now, yet she was too selfish to let you go.

Deep inside, Mina needed you more than you needed her.

"It's not what you think -" she stammered, struggling to find a decent explanation.

"Do you think I'm stupid?" you asked her, voice dangerously calmer than expected. "You forget our anniversary and come home to me with hickeys on your neck? After five years together, you dwindle me down into a stupid idiot - how could you stoop so low?"

She flinched at your tone, noticing the half-empty bottle of whiskey and a gift box on the table. "I know there's nothing in this world -"

"You only get to speak when I'm fucking done talking to you, Mina," you stood up, towering over her - your anger rising. You couldn't look at her, she was a stranger to you now and the thought of it hurt. "How fucking dare you. After all these years!"

Tears welled up in her eyes, never having seen this side of you. You were always gentle, even during heated arguments where all she did was yell at you, you remained calm. "I don't know what happened, Y/N, but please, give me another chance to make it right."

She searched for love in your eyes and found nothing but indifference. You were enraged, her betrayal slashing deep cuts into the home you built for her inside your heart. Everything was crumbling apart, each fall carrying the weight of your love for her.

"Get out of house," you said through clenched teeth. "And my life."

This was the end.

Mina stepped closer, eyes filled with regret. She reached out for you, but you slapped her hand away. "I love you so much, I'm so sorry for everything. I know I ruined it, but we can fix this, Y/N, I'll do anything just to get what we had back."

You shook your head, refusing to shed another tear for her. "Fix this? I can't even look at you without feeling disgusted. It's gone, Mina, the love that we shared is gone. You threw it out of the window."

She remained silent, the weight of her own actions bearing heavy on her shoulders. "I understand," she nodded slowly, choking a sob out. "But I'll wait for you, until you're ready to fix things with me."

You held your breath. "Don't you get it? There's nothing left to fix. Please go now before I say anything I'll regret.”

"No," she shook her head, trying to intertwine your fingers together. "You and me always forever, right? I love you, please don't leave me."

A forced smile tugged on the corners of your lips as you were starkly reminded of the happy memories you shared with her over the years. It calmed you in an instant. "And let's keep it that way by letting each other go. Don't ruin any more memories for me, Mina, I don't think we can fix this. We have to move on separately."

"Let me remember you," her fingers desperately traced your face, her eyes closed as she brushed over your features - heart shattering at the thought of not seeing them anymore. "I don't know how to let you go."

You gently placed a hand on top of hers, stopping her. "Goodbye, Mina."

Tears cascaded over her cheeks as she tried to understand why she needed to let you go. "I've hurt you enough, haven't I?"

You didn't say anything as your eyes followed her towards the door, each step she took felt like another knife to your chest. As soon as her hand reached the handle, she turned towards you with a grateful smile on her face amidst her tears.

"Thank you, for everything. For being you. And for allowing me to love you. Goodbye for now, Y/N."

The door behind her closed with a gentle thud, the harrowing silence of your loss echoing. The loneliness was beginning to settle in your heart as you threw yourself back on the couch. Memories of her felt so distant now, but the way they made you feel were real. She loved you in those moments.

You weren't certain about what the future held for you, it was going to be a rough road ahead of you but you hoped to find yourself again. And maybe, live a life where love didn't have to hurt this much.

[queen-of-the-avengers]

Finally Free

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.8k

Warnings: angst, bucky being abused (implicit), auctioned and sold, nightmares

Summary: Bucky was ripped from your arms and taken by Zemo, and you vowed to spend every waking hour trying to get him back. You have tried for over a year, and your time has finally come when Hydra is auctioning off all the super soldiers for profit. This ends with you.

Squares Filled: vibranium (2023) for @buckybarnesbingo

Author’s Note: any and all comments are greatly appreciated <3

x

Bucky is dying. You run as fast as you can to get to him but it’s like you’re on a treadmill. You can run as fast as you can but you’re not going to get to him in time. Bucky is getting beaten by men, taking every single blow as if he deserves it. He reaches out for you and you run faster if it’s possible. One of the men takes a knife and shoves it deep into his chest, piercing his heart.

“BUCKY!” you gasp awake.

You look around the dark room and realize you’re just having another nightmare. The fan spins above you but it’s not enough to cool your sweaty skin. The sheets are dark with sweat, your heart races a million miles a second, and tears roll down your cheeks on another failed day of bringing the love of your life back home.

Everyone hears your screams for Bucky but no one ever brings it up. There’s no need when they can’t do anything about it. They’re trying but it seems like all of your efforts aren't enough. The government wants him back just as much as you do but they can’t get to him in time whenever he does pop up. No, the only way you’re going to save Bucky is if you do it yourself. You have the resources, it’s time to put them to good use.

Since you can’t bear to be at home knowing Bucky isn’t going to be there, you’ve been sleeping at headquarters. It’s not ideal but you refuse to sleep in the bed if Bucky isn’t going to be there. You brush your teeth and run your hands through your hair to make it look less matted before smoothing out the wrinkles in your clothes. You haven’t had time to go back to your place and grab more clothes. Not that it matters anyway. You’re not going to rest until Bucky is back home.

Headquarters is running smoothly with everyone running around working endlessly. Most everyone is working on computers while agents run back and forth with paper files in their hands. Some see you and immediately shy away from your gaze which you can understand. Since Bucky was taken, you've been a shell of the person you were before.

Normally, you’re such a sweet yet confident woman who knows what she wants. You have to have thick skin in your line of business but you don’t let it change you into someone you’re not… Not until Bucky was taken.

“Have you found him yet?” you ask one of your trusted employees.

“Yeah, it looks like they took him to a secure facility in Siberia. According to our motion sensor cameras, they haven’t left.”

“Is there any way in?”

“Not in the way you want. This place is their home base. There is no way of getting in without a hoard of guards up your ass. You’d barely get in ten feet before either being killed or captured.”

“Shit,” you mutter.

“I might have your way in.” You leave Sebastian’s side and walk over to Jeffrey who is on another set of computers. “Through connections of the dark web, I got us invited to an exclusive auction in Egypt. He’ll be there.”

“How do you know?”

Jeffrey shifts in his seat uncomfortably. “They’re auctioning off all the super soldiers.”

Your heart twinges in pain. Bucky is over there right now suffering at the hands of Zemo no doubt.

“You got me in?”

“Already done. All you have to do is show up.”

You turn to address the entire room. “Alright, listen up. I need to know everything about that auction house--all of its exits and entrances, camera placement, and everything about their guards and their schedules. Do not leave anything out.”

Everyone gets to work immediately, and you turn to the big screen which has Bucky’s picture on it.

I’m coming for you, baby.

You and Bucky are the ones who started Winters, a company dedicated to infiltrating organized crime that specializes in black market trafficking whether that be for organs, sex, torture, and everything else under the moon. You two have saved many men, women, and children across the globe. When your business got to be too much, you hired men and women who had skills in order to help the business.

After rescuing people, you send them to your many anonymous safe houses located across the world. They are so off the grid that no one in the black market will ever find them. If they do, there are guards and procedures to deal with outside threats. When the victims are ready to move on, they are free to leave and return if they feel the need to.

While doing this, you have built such a highly respected persona so you can get in just about anywhere and buy just about anything, all without raising concerns.

Bucky was taken from your arms, and you screamed to him that you’d find him no matter how long it took. It’s been a year since that happened but you’re not giving up now. Not when you feel like you’re so close.

Cairo is such a beautiful city that you often enjoy but this is a business trip, not a pleasure one. You’re in your hotel room getting ready for the event, and you swipe your deep red lipstick over your lips. You grab the masquerade mask that only fits half your face, shielding the upper portion of your face so that only your lips are shown. If you want to continue your business, you have to keep your identity a secret. The only thing people know about you is your bright red lips. The mask on your face is solid black but has a lacy exterior to give it more of a mysterious vibe.

You grab the small earpiece that will remain hidden inside, and you’ll use your hair to cover your ear to conceal it even further. Please let Bucky be okay. It took a long time to fix what they broke.

“Jameson, do you copy?”

“Copy.”

“Alexander?”

“Copy.”

“Jeffrey, do you have eyes on the cameras?”

“I have eyes on the sky. Don’t worry. You’ll know about a problem before there is one.”

You continue down the line until you get through everyone confirming that their earpiece is working and online. Once you’re ready, you leave the hotel room and ride the elevator down to the lobby. There is a car waiting for you where Alexander and Jameson are. They’re your trusted bodyguards that Bucky entrusted with your life when he can’t do the job himself.

Alexander opens the door of the town car for you, and you slide in with both of them in tow. The ride to the auction house is short but filled with so much tension. No words are said because there is nothing anyone can say that can make you feel better.

When the car pulls up to the auction house, Alexander and Jameson get out first before you do. You walk to the front door to check in which goes without issue. The next step is the metal detectors, and your bodyguards are forced to leave their weapons behind that they can pick up when they leave. This is a weapon-free event except for the staff. It’s to ensure everything goes as smoothly as possible.

You comply and are let into the main room where the guests are mingling. There are servers passing around champagne flutes as if this is a morning brunch instead of a highly illegal auction. You look at Jameson and he bends slightly so that your mouth is next to his ear.

“Make sure the exits are clear. I don’t want any issues.”

“You got it, boss.”

You grab a champagne flute with no intention of drinking it, and you stay close to the walls so that you can observe everything and everyone.

“If it isn’t the elusive Vixen. A pleasure to meet you.”

You look to the right and see the man responsible for Bucky’s demise. Zemo. Your blood boils inside your body. You want to strangle him for taking Bucky away from you. It’s a good thing your mask covers your eyes entirely otherwise he’d see the deadly glare you’re giving him.

“Keep your cool, Y/N. You’re so close. I know you want revenge but wait until Bucky is back,” Jeffrey says over comms.

He’s right. No good will come from attacking now when you don’t know for sure that Bucky is here. You need to see him for yourself.

“When I heard you were coming, I had to see you for myself,” Zemo continues. “I have something I think you might be interested in.”

“It better be worth it. You know I hate wasting my time.”

“It will be,” he winks. “I hope you have a good time at the auction.”

You and Alexander find your seats just as everyone else does. You’re holding a sign with your number on it so that if you raise it, the auctioneer will know who to put down if you were to win. Zemo walks on stage and introduces himself to everyone before getting started. A very short woman walks on stage and stands next to Zemo, just another super soldier for people to toy with.

“Let me introduce Exhibit A. Don’t let her small stature fool you. She is highly trained to infiltrate and destabilize any network from within. With a kill count of over a thousand, she won’t hesitate to get the job done. Her most significant kill is Osama bin Laden. As you can see, no organization is too complicated for her. Bids start at one million dollars.”

Almost everyone puts their sign up, signaling to Zemo that they’re all interested in buying her. You keep your sign down, only interested in one soldier. As Zemo ups the price, more and more signs go down until there is only one left.

“Sold to Number 57.” The woman is escorted off the stage only for a tall and muscular man to take her place. “Exhibit B…”

As far as you know, there are ten super soldiers that Hydra experimented with when they had Bucky under their control. When their most prized possession was free, they must have made more because Zemo auctions off twenty skilled and highly dangerous super soldiers. Each one that comes on stage brings your heart closer to your stomach when you realize none of them are Bucky. Jeffrey must be able to read your thoughts because his voice chimes in your ear.

“I know he’s here, Y/N. Just keep doing what you’re doing. I have Sebastian and Ricardo scouring the place looking for him. Don’t worry, they won’t get caught. I know how to keep my men hidden.”

You’re so lucky to have someone like Jeffrey on your side. He has never failed you before. When he says he is going to do something, he gets that shit done. Zemo finishes with the twenty-fifth and final soldier before announcing the end of the auction.

“Thank you all for attending. Buyers, please see my associates to arrange transportation for your purchases.”

You get up and place your sign on the seat just like everyone else did. Zemo almost trips coming down the stairs just to get to you.

“I have to say, Zemo, I’m disappointed in your selection.”

“I was saving the best for last. Only the most elite are able to bid on him, with you being first, of course. Follow me.”

You and Alexander follow Zemo to a hidden room in the back where even more guards and twice that of weapons are. This auction is good for more than just super soldiers, but this auction tonight was just to showcase them. To think these people are going to be roaming the Earth tomorrow for nefarious reasons makes your skin crawl, but you suspect Jeffrey has men already taking care of it.

No one is going to be taking home a super soldier but you.

Two men step out of the way and your eyes land on Bucky who has a stoic look on his face. Even though he isn’t saying anything, you can see the emotion in his eyes. He wants to cry. He wants to fight back. Wakanda got rid of the trigger words that were stuck inside his brain, but you have a feeling Zemo has been trying to implement new ones into his mind.

Over your fucking dead body.

“Allow me to introduce the Winter Soldier himself. Was taken by Hydra in the 1940s where he was molded to fit our needs and turned into one of the most dangerous and highly skilled assassins this world has ever seen. With just the right price, he can kill anyone with such precision that no one will ever know he was there, has stamina that lasts days or even weeks depending on how hard you push him, and not to mention this beauty.”

Zemo grabs Bucky’s metal arm and slides the sleeve up to show off the cool metal.

“A pure vibranium arm out of Wakanda itself. That adds extra muscle to all of your needs. I’ll give you to him along with the code words to control him, of course. He will do anything you want. Unfortunately, since he is like a shiny new toy, the starting bid is at twenty million dollars.”

“I’ll give you one hundred million.” Zemo looks shocked and drops Bucky’s arm. “I do not want anyone else having him. One of my guards is handling the payment as we speak. Do I make myself clear?”

“Crystal. I will tell the other bidders that he is no longer on the market.” Zemo nods to one of his henchmen who leaves the room. “I can have transportation arranged in any way that you like.”

You step forward and look at Bucky even though he can’t see your eyes.

“You are going to be my new favorite toy.” Of course, he doesn’t answer. It breaks your heart knowing he wants to cry. That’s a good thing in its own perverted way. They haven’t completely broken him if he wants to cry. “I’d like to take him off your hands if that’s okay. I like to deal with them in my own way, so I won’t be needing your transportation.”

“I understand,” he nods.

Alexander takes the lead and you make sure to place Bucky between you and him so that no one else gets any ideas. Instead of Alexander taking the normal way out, he turns and heads toward Jameson who has cleared the way. Once you’re out of the main room, you feel that you’re free to talk.

“Make sure Zemo doesn’t see a penny of my money,” you say to Jeffrey.

“Don’t worry, he won’t see a single one. You’re still in the blind spots of the cameras, but you’ve got maybe ten minutes before they reboot.”

“I only need five.”

Alexander meets Jameson at the very back who leads the group to the car waiting for you at the back. You open the back door and usher Bucky into the back of the car. Alexander is next but Jameson stays where he is.

“Make sure we’re not followed. Get out as soon as you can.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

You get into the car and it speeds off before you can shut the door. Bucky looks around in confusion because he has never been transported in a town car before. It’s usually on ice and in a wooden box.

“Where are we going?” he asks apprehensively. Once you know it’s safe to do so, you take off your mask, revealing yourself to Bucky. “Y/N?”

“I told you I’d come for you, baby. I’m here. You’re safe now.”

Bucky doesn’t care if Alexander is in the back with you, he breaks down in tears. Alexander and Jameson started working for you after Bucky was captured so he doesn’t know who they are. You take off your seatbelt and slide closer to Bucky to hold him close to you. He buries his face in the crook of your neck and cries, mostly for his freedom.

“No one is going to hurt you again,” you promise.

Alexander takes out his phone to call Jameson but you don’t listen to a word he says. All you care about is Bucky and how he’s back in your arms.

“I tried so hard to be brave for you,” his voice cracks.

“It’s okay, Bucky. You don’t have to be brave anymore. I will make sure Zemo never finds you again. I’ll erase whatever shit he put in your head a second time. I know how to do it now.”

Bucky pulls back only to press his lips to yours. He is safe because of you. You vow that you won’t have any more nightmares of Bucky dying because he’s not. He’s back home where he’s going to stay for good.

x

Want to be tagged? Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[stevieschrodinger]

Link to Part One Part Two Part Three

TW Human trafficking discussions of injury

Steve feels like shit. He looks like shit. He’s pretty sure something might have straight up died in his mouth when he got that forty five minutes of sleep.

Everything looks good though. The fact that everyone else sprawled around the boardroom also looks like shit makes him feel a little better about himself. Well. Everyone but Nancy, obviously, who could probably walk out of a tornado and still look put together.

Steve only knows it’s morning because Carol just brought them all coffee. Carol does not come in out of hours. Steve learned that very, very early on. It was uncharacteristically nice of Carol to turn up with the little trolley from downstairs; it had a bunch of fruit and breakfast pastries on it, plus coffee.

She then proceeded to explain to Steve at great length how he looked and smelled like he’d been shit out by a bear, so, maybe she had motive. And that motive was being a bitch.

“Happy now, Steve?”

Steve’s got like, a whole bag of sand in each eye. Coarse, if they grade that kind of thing. Coarse sand. “Do you think we got everything?”

“I am confident that the team have done their utmost to pursue every avenue.”

“Nance, stop being a politician. That’s not a yes.”

She purses her lips at him in the way that she has, “can I have a word with you?” She scans the board room, “privately?”

Steve drags himself out of the chair, balancing one croissant on top of his coffee cup and grabbing a bear claw too, and then follows Nancy out and into a nearby office.

She doesn’t pull any punches, “I need to know how you know.”

Steve takes a big bite, then speaks with his mouthful, “can’t. NDA.”

She pinches the bridge of her nose, “and who, exactly, did you sign an NDA for?”

“The FBI.”

Nancy brings up her phone, showing Steve the screen. More precisely the headline on the screen, and Steve is thrilled that the picture they’ve used of Hagan is, objectively, fucking awful, “so Tommy Hagan was arrested last night, for Omega trafficking. When you walked into the office yesterday, oh so confident that everything relating to Hagan was going to tank…it was nearly ten full hours before this hit the news.”

Steve shrugs again, “N...D...A.”

They stare at each other for a long moment.

The door opens, Henderson’s baby face poking through. You would not in a million years think they guy was in his twenties, “Steve, morning! Sorry, I know it’s early…” Henderson seems to take in the state of Steve. Shirt rumpled, tie hanging loose, starting in on his second pastry, “but I kind of need to know why over a quarter of a million dollars was moved on Saturday, and where it went since it seemed to just...disappear?”

It takes, probably, less than a second for Nancy to leap to a conclusion like an Olympic fucking vaulter, and half a second longer for her to hit Steve with the file she’s holding.

“Er...not now, Dustin okay?” Steve manages to say, trying to shield his pastry and his coffee while Nancy gets it out of her system.

Dustin’s a smart kid, he watches Nancy slapping Steve with the papers...and just leaves.

She finally stops, pinching the bridge of her nose, and says very evenly, very quietly, “Steven Harrington, look me in the eye and tell me you didn’t buy an Omega.”

“NDA?” Steve replies quietly, uncertain, and then flinching when Nancy raises the folder again, “okay okay! Yes, yes I did. But! Under the FBI’s kind of...you know, instruction? I was evidence gathering! He’s at mine but I’m figuring out where his family are and I’ll take him back! It’s fine!”

“Why is he at yours?”

“They didn’t have anywhere for him, short notice, plus his feet are kind of messed up, from them like, hurting him. He’s been there a couple of years so doesn’t have anything, so I’ve ordered him some clothes and stuff. He’s fine.”

Nancy tilts her head, like a predator working out the distance they need to strike, “he’s...fine?”

Steve knows he’s fucked up. Nancy is using that tone. It’s...a very specific tone. “Err...yes?”

“You have an injured Omega, who has been held against his will, abused enough to be, at the very least, physically injured, never mind the emotional toll this whole thing may have taken...and he’s fine?”

Oh, no. She’s raised her eyebrow in that way she has. “I mean...yeah?” Nancy glares, and Steve backtracks, “I mean. Obviously he’s not...you know, perfectly okay, I guess. He’s been through a lot. But I made sure I fed him plenty, and he’s got some clean clothes on the bed. The bed in the room...I never actually...got around to showing him to...because I got, distracted. And it’s upstairs…” Steve can feel his insides sinking, “his feet are hurt. Shit.” Well fuck. Steve's...fucked up, probably quite badly now that he actually stops for thirty seconds to think about it.

Nancy sighs aggressively out her nose in that way she has, “Steve your security system is like fort fucking Knox, did you at least…”

But Steve’s already shaking his head, because he didn’t do that, either. He’s just...locked Eddie into a new prison. Shit.

He scrambles, feeling guilty, “I’ll give him some of the money. A lot of the money. Hagan’s...stuff. He can have the ranch?”

Nancy’s eyebrows shoot up into her hairline, “why on earth would he want the place he’s been kept prisoner for-”

Steve shrugs, “whatever he wants. He can bun it down if he likes, I’ll help. It’ll be like, therapy?”

Oh no, she gone from pinching her nose to rubbing that spot on her forehead, but then she seems to...deflate. Grasping Steve’s arm to hold him close, she actually speaks gently to him, which is, quite frankly, a million times more terrifying, “Steve. We’ve known each other a long time, now, so I say this with love. Money, wealth...is not the most important thing in life.” Steve opens his mouth to protest, but she shushes him, “I know. Alright, I know it can help, and it makes life a lot better for a lot of people...but giving people things does not...fix anything. Money is not an apology. Gifts are not an apology. And I know it’s hard for you to...see it differently, okay? Because you’ve always been very...driven, and that’s a good thing! I know how you grew up and how your father was with you and I know you feel you have...something to prove, okay, so I understand, I do. But...a lot of people put higher value on...just. I mean, maybe just go home. Say that you're sorry. Look after the Omega for a couple of days, make sure he gets home, okay? Maybe prioritize that, for a moment. You know the office will be fine...and maybe you’ll see that other things in life can have value, hmm?”

Part five

@stylelovechild @steddieonthen @marklee-blackmore @sticknpokelightningbolt @resident-gay-bitch @somegirlsomewhere @mugloversonly @weekend-dreamer7 @lololol-1234 @anne-bennett-cosplayer @mx-jinxous @goodolefashionedloverboi @bogwitchlesbian @lunaraquaenby @steddieinthesun @pluto-pepsi @disrespectedgoatman @i-eat-spinal-cords @waelkyring @kal-ology

[superhero--imagines]

Part 1 Here! / Part 2 Here! / This is Part 3! / Part 4 Here!

A/N: I don’t think the poll is over yet, but this one was very clearly going to have the highest percentage, I’ll do the “maybe if we were closer in age” one later though!

If you haven’t already please check out my Batman zine, it’s got so much fanfiction and beautiful art from five different artists! Please check it out, please. I need to find a way to compensate these artists. You can check it out here!

Bruce slumps in his chair, a longing glance spared to the decanter on the bookshelf.

He closes his eyes and wills away the craving. It’s always ten times worse when he wakes up the next day, and he can’t afford feeling worse at this point in his life.

Wasn’t it just yesterday he was twenty years old and he could spend all night playing Bruce Wayne’s party boy image, and be up in three hours feeling none the worse for wear. Now even after nine hours of solid sleep, he wakes up sluggish with an ache in his bones.

I have to be strong.

“Why did you keep her away from us?”

“Who?” he asks absentmindedly, his entire focus still on the brandy.

“(Y/N).” It’s the last name he expected to hear, especially from his oldest son. He looks up, hoping he’s misheard, but the look in Dick’s eyes proves him wrong.

Looks like I’m going to need that drink after all.

He reaches for the decanter, two crystal glasses retrieved from his desk drawer instinctually, glittering on his desk.

“Why are you bringing this up now?” He stalls by taking a sip, feigning casual, like the mention of your name alone didn’t set his heart racing.

“Don’t play this game with me Bruce,” Dick sounds more sad than angry, and it softens him. “Why didn’t you let us see her?”

“It’s complicated.”

“Then start untangling it for me.”

Bruce sighs, taking another sip of his father’s brandy. There’s a million reasons he could tell his son, none of which would be lies entirely, but softer than the truth.

But when he looks up into Dick’s eyes, he can’t bring himself to say any of them. Armed with nothing but liquor at the bottom of his cup, for the first time in four years, after dodging this question from reporters and acclaimed journalists and new paramours, he finally tells the truth.

“Because I didn’t want her to see you.”

A simple, ugly truth. He doesn’t bother looking up to see his sons reaction, he already knows a kind boy like Dick, a boy who’s fully believed his entire life that good prevails, won’t be able to process that his father did something like this. He makes better use of his time by refilling his glass.

Dick slumps in the chair by the time he’s polishing off his second peg, and pouring in his third.

“You did it to punish her?” He can see anger begin to replace shock, and he doesn’t blame him for it, but Bruce is angry enough at himself for the both of them.

“I wanted her to forget we ever existed.” This truth is as kind as it is ugly, and the nuance confuses Bruce even now. But three glasses of brandy affect him in a way that makes his tongue feel lighter and his mind feel free.

“I wanted to give her a potato sack full of money and jewels, and send her far away where no one knew who she was. I wanted her to meet a good partner, someone who would always put her first, and if they decided to extend their family I wanted her to be able to move on without feeling like she left anyone behind.”

“So you wanted her to have a great life, far away from you, and you never wanted to hear anything about it,” Dick’s voice is cold.

Bruce shakes his head. He wanted to hear everything about your new life. What kind of partner you picked. How you spent your days. When you got married. When you had your first child. When you had your second. Everything. And on bad days, he’d close his eyes and let himself imagine it was him standing next to you, that in some alternate universe he made a single different decision that gave him permission to deserve you.

“I was just tired of hurting her,” when you came in to his life, for the first time, he felt like he’s been allowed to have something of his own. Not as Batman, protecting to the city, or Bruce Wayne the mask he carried, but him as a man. But he could never seem to return the reverie you extended to him.

“Do you think she’d ever be able to move on, to live even a semblance of a normal life, if all of you were showing up at her house all bruised and beaten?”

Dick stays quiet now, and Bruce hates himself for having to say it out loud. His son may be an adult in the eyes of the law, but some parts of him are still childlike. After all, Bruce isn’t the only one putting Gotham first.

“I wouldn’t call the way she’s living now normal.” Dick’s been to your penthouse, he’s seen the photo albums full of tabloid clippings and the rare pictures he and his extended family post on social media. He’s seen the journal you keep, hidden on your bookshelf that he mistook for a regular novel during his bi-weekly trips to your place, full of notes on every article and picture and what might be happening behind the scenes to prompt a public appearance like that. Years of deductions and question he could have answered with a single text message a month, but Bruce wouldn’t even allow that.

Dick’s anger grows.

If Bruce had told him he did it to punish you, he’d be angry, but he would understand. Sometimes when you love someone that much, someone who’s too good for you, you grasp at any way to keep them. But this is a million times worse than that.

“If you loved her that much why’d you even let her go?”

Again, another question he wasn’t expecting. Maybe it’s the alcohol, but he doesn’t feel the sharp sting of surprise this time.

“Because sometimes love isn’t enough.”

Dick leaves. Bruce pours another glass, and when he’s sure he’s alone he pulls out his wallet, tugging out the family photo he keeps tucked beneath his black card, turning it over to see your portrait taped on the other side.

The corner of his mouth quirks up.

It was from when you’d both just gotten married, before you were used to upper class etiquette. You complained all morning about having to get ready and wear a bunch of expensive uncomfortable clothes designers had sent in for the article in the Gotham Times, emphasizing how ridiculous opulence like this was when there were so many bigger issues in Gotham.

He’d bought out every copy of the magazine in the city. He still had most of them, tucked away in a box in his closet that became the casket for your relationships. Every now and then he’ll unearth it, just to allow himself to be haunted again by your memory.

But for tonight, just your picture and a glass of brandy is enough.

“You’re so much better at this than I am.”

[sansaorgana]

— NEW MEMORIES

PAIRING — Erik Lehnsherr x fem!Mutant!Reader

SUMMARY — You're excited to celebrate holidays for the first time in a long time and you prepare the school for Christmas and Hanukkah but your husband's attitude differs, which leads to an argument. You accidentally reveal too soon that you're expecting, which ruins a surprise.

AUTHOR’S NOTE — As usual, Reader’s mutation is NOT specified. I checked online Hanukkah's date for 1973 and I hope it showed me right that it started December 19th, which means it would overlap with Christmas. I also tried not to specify if Reader would celebrate only Hanukkah with Erik or Christmas, too, so I hope it's not very exclusive, because I imagine that even if she is not a Christian or Jewish, she would still want to celebrate Hanukkah because of her husband. In this fic, Erik and Reader are both teachers at Xavier's School, probably after Days of Future Past happened but with less shitty ending for Erik 😂 I also wanted to write a part when the baby is born but I decided the time difference between the scenes would be too big so I'll just write another fic 😁

WARNINGS — mentions of parents' death (Reader's backstory is similar to Jean Grey's)

WORD COUNT — 2,220

ENGLISH IS MY SECOND LANGUAGE.

NEW MEMORIES

December has never been your favourite time of the year. Most of the time it was a reminder that you weren’t normal, that your life wasn’t usual and that whatever all these people in Christmas commercials had was out of your reach.

But in 1973, for the first time in your life, you were actually excited. And since Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters was open again, you had plenty of people to share your excitement with. Lots of students volunteered to help you with decorating the place for the upcoming Christmas and Hanukkah celebrations. That year was one of those when the two of them overlapped.

After all your classes on Friday, you worked on yet another room of the house with the help of a few students. When you finished it was almost ten pm so you told them goodnight and went straight to your bedroom. Erik was already there, reading a history book and making notes.

“What is it about?” you asked him with a smile as you began to take off your clothes. You were so tired that you decided to take a shower in the morning and now just change into pajamas.

“Napoleonic wars,” your husband answered without looking up. “I have a feeling he might have been one of us.”

“Aren’t we, like, a product of this century?” you asked and put a nightgown on. “Come on, it’s late, let’s go to sleep,” you stood behind him and placed your hands on his shoulders.

“I’ve only just begun,” he explained. “I need these notes for Monday.”

When you managed to convince Erik to join you at school and teach history, he was unsure about it but he promised to give it a try. Just like you promised you would leave with him to live in peace somewhere else if he wouldn’t like the life at Charles’ school. But one semester later he was already very engaged in his work. Students respected him although you could see that they were also a bit scared of him, which was understandable.

“You’ve just begun?” you laughed a little.

“I was playing chess with Charles earlier,” Erik answered with a nod and hummed after underlining a line in the book.

“Is this why you’re so tense?” you asked as you slightly squeezed his stiff shoulders. “Did you lose?”

“I’m not tense,” he tried to shake you off.

“Talk to me, Erik. It’s not gonna work if you refuse to talk to me,” you reminded him sternly and he sighed before putting the pencil down and closing the book. “We need to be open about what is bothering us, you promised me we’d make it work this time,” you added.

“Yes, I know. But I don’t want to hurt your feelings,” Erik turned his head around to look at your face. You took a step back and furrowed your brows.

“What do you mean, Erik?” you asked.

He hesitated before saying anything and a million of possible scenarios started to come up to your mind.

“You don’t like it here?” You inquired. “You want us to move out?”

“No, it’s not about that… But…” Erik swallowed thickly and took a deep breath in. “I don’t like what you’re currently doing. I’m sorry. I don’t want to take your happiness out of it.”

“What am I currently doing?” you couldn’t understand what he was saying.

“Christmas and Hanukkah preparations,” he explained and you blinked a few times as your brain needed to process that information.

“Wait, what?!” you raised your voice a little. You didn’t want to scold him for expressing his feelings but you just couldn’t understand his reaction. “We’re going to celebrate for the first time in such a long time, and what’s more important, we’re not gonna be alone in this. We have our friends and students here. For the first time December is a positive time of the year to me… to us,” you tried to explain your point of view nervously. Erik was only looking at you and blinking slowly, patiently waiting for you to finish. “But I don’t do it for myself. I mostly am doing it for you, Erik. I wanted you to be happy, too. I wanted you to enjoy something that had been taken away from you a long time ago.”

“It reminds me of Hanukkahs with my parents,” he finally spoke up and you pursed your lips for a moment before opening your mouth again.

“So you don’t want to ever celebrate again?” you asked to be sure.

“No, I don’t think so,” he shook his head.

“Why can’t you let yourself be happy, why are you torturing yourself further? I don’t get it, I’m sorry,” you tried not to be irritated but you felt utterly disappointed. You sat on the edge of your bed and hid your face in your hands.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to be a killjoy.”

“Too late,” you murmured, fighting your tears back.

“I know that most of the students will be celebrating. I think I’ll just leave for a week somewhere. I have already discussed it with Charles and he said there are a few things I can do for him at that time,” Erik’s voice sounded casual like he was discussing business for you.

“You want to leave us during Christmas time?” you moved the hands off of your face and looked up at him angrily.

“(Y/N), please, I don’t want to fight about it…” Erik sighed. “Why can’t you just understand that I don’t want to…” he clenched his jaw and looked away. “I don’t want to create new memories like this because it would remove the ones I already have… with my mother.”

“And you think she wouldn’t want you to celebrate holidays with your new family? You don’t think she’d want you to be happy?” you stood up and looked down at him. You felt like a bitch but his explanation made you even angrier.

“I don’t know what she’d want because she’s dead!” He stood up and raised his voice.

“So, I won’t be able to celebrate ever?! Because you don’t want to create new memories?” you put your hands on your hips.

“I’m not forbidding you to celebrate.”

“I don’t want to celebrate without you, don’t you understand?!” you yelled and rolled your eyes. “And when our child is born, you won’t celebrate Hanukkah with them either?” you asked and then you closed your mouth quickly. Your anger made you reveal a few things too early.

“What child?” you could see Erik’s face becoming pale within a second. “(Y/N)?”

“It was supposed to be a Christmas surprise… But since you won’t even be here, I guess I can tell you now,” you shrugged your arms. “I’m pregnant,” you announced and turned around to avoid looking at his face. You were scared of his reaction.

You didn’t know how long it took him to finally do something. Was it a very long minute or was it ten minutes of a heavy silence between you two…?

“(Y/N), I’m sorry,” he finally whispered. Apologizing wasn’t his strong trait. You sensed him standing behind you and putting his hand on your shoulder shyly. You didn’t push him away but you didn’t lean back towards him as usual either. “For how long do you know?”

“Two weeks. It’s the second month,” you answered, your eyes focused on the wall in front of you as you tried to fight the tears back. “Are you even happy?” you dared to ask and your lower lip trembled because asking it out loud made your heart break.

You were trying to give him a normal life, to give him family and happiness, joy around Christmas time and all that. But he seemed to prefer to dwell on his past. You didn’t expect him to forget about his mother or about the pain, of course not. Your past wasn’t exactly pleasant either. But you wanted to be happy despite that, you wanted to have a family, you wanted a new start in life, another chance.

“Of course I am,” Erik answered and gently turned your body around so you would face him. However, you tried to avoid his eyes. “But I’m terrified,” he confessed.

“And you think I am not?” you looked up eventually as a few tears rolled down your cheeks. “I’m a monster, Erik. You think I’m not scared of hurting them by accident?” you asked.

When you were about twelve years old, you caused your parents’ death after having an argument with them. Your powers were out of control and you were locked in a mental institution for underage girls by people who didn’t understand that you weren’t crazy nor really dangerous. That was where you met the person who made you realize who you were and who was the only person there who wouldn’t treat you like a monster; although that was the word you could easily call him with. His name was Sebastian Shaw – but he introduced himself as Doctor John Smith. He was experimenting on you for a few years and although it had been a traumatic experience, you learnt how to control your mutation thanks to him. That was also how you met Erik – he found you not so long after you turned eighteen years old and left the institution. You started to work as a waitress and he was hunting for the man who had used your pain and suffering to perform experiments on you to deepen his knowledge about the various mutations. You decided to join Erik because your life didn’t seem to have any purpose anyway.

“You’re not a monster,” he sighed and pulled you closer to wrap his arms around you. With one of his hands he held the back of your head and caressed your hair. “You were just a child and now you’re older, you can control your powers. You’re extraordinary,” he whispered the words of comfort and kissed your forehead. “I’m not scared about you hurting our baby, I would never. I trust you with my life,” he assured you and it was comforting to hear that.

“Creating new memories doesn’t wipe out the old ones,” you cried out and pressed your face deeper into his chest. “Believe me, I wish it worked this way. I wish I could forget. I begged Charles to make me forget but he refused to do it to me,” you confessed and Erik raised your chin to make you look at him again. He hadn’t known about that before.

“You haven’t told me that,” his face was full of pain and worry.

“It was when you were in jail. I begged Charles to remove all the pain, the memory of my parents, the memory of Shaw… Even you. I begged him to even remove you from my head. But he told me I wouldn’t be myself any longer. He was right and I hate that. I hate that what I am is made of pain and suffering,” you sniffled. “That’s why I want to make good memories so badly, do you understand? I want to celebrate with you like we never have before. I want to laugh and feel safe. Like I belong somewhere, surrounded with friends and students, with my husband by my side and my baby growing inside of me. Do you understand my point of view now, Erik?” you bit on your trembling lip.

“Yes, my liebling, I do,” he nodded and leaned in to kiss your forehead and then the tip of your nose, which made you giggle through the tears, until eventually he pecked your lips.

“But I don’t want to force you either,” you sighed. Now, when all your emotions were finally out and you calmed yourself down, you decided there was no point in pushing him into something that would make him feel uncomfortable. “If you don’t want to celebrate, it’s alright. We both have our right to deal with whatever that has happened to us in our own ways. I’ll still have fun with all the rest, don’t worry about me,” you assured him.

“No, you were right. About me choosing to torture myself instead of allowing myself to enjoy my life,” Erik caressed your cheek and you cracked a smile. “And I can’t miss my child’s first Hanukkah either.”

“I want them to have a happy childhood,” you told him. “Like we never had.”

“I know. I do, too,” Erik placed his hand on your belly and caressed it gently, like it was made of glass. “I will protect them from everything, I promise. No human will hurt our baby.”

You smiled at him and cupped his face before leaning in to give him a proper kiss this time.

But you didn’t tell him that what you feared more than humans hurting your child was actually the child turning out to be perfectly normal. You were afraid that a man so prejudiced towards humans as your husband wouldn’t love his child fully if they weren’t a mutant. You couldn’t tell him that, though. You didn’t want to fight with him anymore that night. Instead, you just kissed him. After all, you’d still have a few years before you’d find out if the baby was a mutant or not.

MASTERLIST

[arc-misadventures]

MFK with Jaune: Harley Quinn, Pamela Isley, and Selina Kyle

Jaune: MFK XII

Nora: Oh Jaune-Jaune~?

Jaune: No, you can’t have your grenades back.

Nora: But, that’s not…?!

Jaune: You aren’t allowed to test peoples bone density with your war hammer.

Nora: But, it’s only, Cardin… Wait! No, that’s not what I want…??

Jaune: You can’t have another, McSchneer Lumberjack Burger. They banned you after you demanded more maple syrup bacon strips, and subsequently destroyed the counter when they said no.

Nora: That’s not what I wanted to ask!

Jaune: It’s not; Then what is it?

Nora: MFK~!

Jaune: Naww fuck…

Nora: Harley Quinn, Pamela Isley, or Selina Kyle~?

Jaune: The ladies of, Batman’s Rouge Gallery? Why them?

Nora: Why not them?

Jaune: …

Jaune: Fair enough… Okay… I would kill, Poison Ivy.

Nora: Aww… but, I thought you liked us red heads~?

Jaune: I do, but it’s more of personality/mind set kind of thing. I understand why she wants to save the environment, and all that. But, considering her powers she could make plants that absorb the pollution, and cleanse the environment like nature currently does. I mean, we’ve got algae springing up the can digest plastics, and there are mushrooms capable of absorbing nuclear radiation. I mean come on! Poison Ivy could easily do that, and make something ten times better at doing that! But, no let’s kill all the corrupt businessmen, politicians, and everyone on the whole god damn planet to save the environment! That’s sounds lovely~!

Nora: Okay… that sounded personal…

Jaune: Sorry, but environmentalists annoy the hell out of me! I mean come on! Let’s stop using all fossil fuels, and natural gas to prevent the world from ending in the next five years, a notion that they have said a dozen times in the last three decades! Not to mention that idea would kill millions in a matter of weeks if implemented?!

Nora: …?!

Nora: So…

Nora: Who ya gonna fuck…?

Jaune: Harely Quinn.

Nora: Oh really, you got a thing for clowns~?

Jaune: No. I have to pick, and of the two I would like to sleep with, Harely Quinn. I’m curious about how flexible she would be, among other things…

Nora: Nice~!

Jaune: And, lastly I would marry, Selina Kyle.

Nora: Why her?

Jaune: Admittedly I like, Catwoman the most out of the trio. I like her mature elegance, that femme fatale, and saucy air about her. Plus, I read the comics, she a romantic at heart with, Bruce Wayne. Granted unless written as so, Selina never overcomes, Bruce’s obsession with being, Batman. But, in the stories they do get together, they form a strong lasting pair who grow up to have a loving family together with.

Jaune: I want that too…

Jaune: You happy, Nora, have you got your answer.

Nora: I’m ecstatic, Fearless Leader~! I’ll see you later~!

Jaune: …

Jaune: Somethings off with that smile of hers… I don’t like it…

~~~

Nora: Alright ladies, have you made your decision?

Cinder: Perfectly! I will be going as, Catwoman. I already have a catsuit that I know, Jaune will absolutely drool all over~!

Nora: Oh, nice! It really shows of your phat ass! He better give that a nice hard slap when he sees it!

Cinder: I’ll give him plenty of reasons to do just that~! Now, Neo will be using her semblance to dress as, Harley Quinn. She is also flexible enough to play the part~!

Nora: I’m sure, Jaune will love that~! Don’t pull a muscle out there , Neo!

Neo: 😁

Nora: No, I’m being serious, he will pull some muscles when he’s done with you!

Neo: 🤕🥴

Nora: Oh~? Kinky, I like it~!

Cinder: And, lastly, Emerald will be using her semblance to appear as, Poison Ivy!

Emerald: Are you sure this will work? He hates, Poison Ivy.

Nora: That means he’ll hate fuck you to get rid of that pent up rage~!

Emerald: Oh…? Oh~? Oh that sounds like fun~!

Cinder: Alright girl, let’s head out! Let’s show, Jaune what’s it’s like to be embrace by a trio of femme fetale’s~!

Emerald: Thanks, Nora, we really appreciate your help!

Nora: No problem ladies! And, good luck!

Nora: Cause… you’ll need it… oh boy you’ll need it…

[hungermakesmonsters]

(Once Bitten) Twice Shy

Chapter Fifteen

Plot summary : Desperate to get away from your controlling family, you take a job in New York as a wealthy vampire's blood source. A million dollars awaits if you can make it through a year, but life with Billy Russo is not going to be as simple as you think.

Pairing : Billy Russo x Reader

Story Rating : R  Chapter Rating : R

Warnings : [This is a fic for 18+ only, minors DNI] Smut and angst. All chapters will contain mentions of blood. Please check the warnings on each chapter if you choose to follow this story. 

Word Count : 5.4k

A/N : I'm sorry for using the word buttocks. I'm deeply ashamed rn...

CHAPTER ONE | CHAPTER TWO | CHAPTER THREE | CHAPTER FOUR | CHAPTER FIVE | CHAPTER SIX | CHAPTER SEVEN | CHAPTER EIGHT | CHAPTER NINE | CHAPTER TEN | CHAPTER ELEVEN | CHAPTER TWELVE | CHAPTER THIRTEEN | CHAPTER FOURTEEN

MASTER LIST

Chapter Fifteen

Sleeping in until three in the afternoon helped you skip the worst of your hangover, but you didn’t feel any better. In fact you felt like shit.

You hated what you’d done to Matt, hated that you kept dragging Karen into your problems and, most of all, you hated that you kept letting Billy have so much power over you. Something needed to change, you weren’t prepared to carry on that way. You’d reached your lowest point, felt broken in a new and more painful way.

It had to stop.

The idea came upon you slowly, starting as an insidious notion while you were eating breakfast that only seemed to become more insistent as you showered.

You needed to leave.

Every reason you had to stay had evaporated last night. You didn’t belong here with any of them - maybe you didn’t belong anywhere at all. And you were just so so tired of every day feeling so miserable and alone.

Before you really knew what you were doing, you’d stepped out into the penthouse and made your way to the elevator, to the intercom, to your only way out.

The intercom crackled and buzzed far louder than you expected. You hit the button twice and then waited. It was the middle of the day, Lissa was probably sleeping, but impatience got the better of you and you hit the button again. You barely noticed the tears that were rolling down your cheeks, your finger jabbing the button again.

“What are you doing?” 

His voice filled the penthouse and, for a moment, you didn’t dare turn around, you just kept pushing the intercom, over and over, not wanting to face him.

“I said -”

When you felt a hand on your shoulder, you finally turned. 

He was right behind you, far too close for comfort. Billy seemed taken aback by your tears and you took that moment of confusion to pull away from him and to start moving back towards your rooms.

“You win,” you told him, barely keeping your voice from breaking. “I’m done. I’m leaving.”

“What?” 

There was hurt in that word, a pain that he didn’t deserve an ounce of pity for but, still, it turned your stomach to think that you might have upset or hurt him in any way. But that was the difference between you and him, you cared about his pain while he barely even seemed to notice yours.

“I’m leaving,” you said again, “I quit.”

“No,” he said like he didn’t understand, like he couldn’t figure out what had led to the decision. 

“No?” You repeated, heartache and anger filling your voice. How dare he try to fight for you now. “You don’t get to tell me no after everything you’ve done to me, Billy.”

“I -” he started and stopped, uncertain which of his many crimes against you that you were most upset about. “I'm sorry. I fucked up, I know I fucked up, but -”

Against your better judgement you stopped dead in your tracks and turned to face him.

“But what? What excuse do you possibly think you have for keeping me prisoner and lying to my friends?” You asked, your voice getting louder each time he made you respond to him. “This is what you wanted.”

“I didn't want this.” His voice rose to match yours, almost frantic. “I just needed time to -”

“What? Find someone else?” You snapped. “Two someone else’s? Did you take them all to bed last night?”

“No,” he answered just as sharply. “I wanted to - before you, I would have - but they aren’t you. You’re the only one I want.”

“Am I supposed to believe that? After all the lies?”

“I just spent the last few weeks trying to get you out of my head, but I can’t.” An uneasy desperation started to fill his voice, every word sounding more fraught than you’d ever heard him. “You’re like sunlight, I - I can’t stop thinking about how you feel and, when I’m not with you, I miss you so fucking much.”

“Stop lying to me!” Your own voice turning just as fraught, hating that he was doing this to you now that you’d made the difficult decision to leave.

You started moving again, getting closer to the door leading to your rooms and, of course, Billy realised that if you reached your bedroom, he wouldn’t be able to follow. When you tried to open the adjoining door, you soon found his hand on it, stopping you. You turned, pressing back against the wood, trying to create some space between you as you glared at him, silently demanding he move.

“Please, just listen to me,” he tried again.

“Why?”

“Because losing you would kill me.”

His confession seemed to suck all the air from the room and, while every rational part of you was screaming at you not to believe him, the way he said it sounded so certain, so raw. 

“You wanted to send me away,” you told him again. “You wanted me to leave.”

“I wanted you to be safe,” he said, his gaze dropping to your broken arm, his voice breaking. “Just look at you, look what I did...”

He’d been so cold and emotionless after it had happened, when he’d first asked you to leave, but hearing him now, seeing the look on his face... you finally understood just how much the situation had fucked him up. It seemed like your decision to leave had unnerved him enough to force some honesty from him.

You couldn’t speak. It felt like all the anger had drained from you and, instead, there was something else inside you, the sort of pain that you couldn’t put a name to. He’d hurt you. Over and over. And you weren’t going to make excuses for him, but now he was finally letting you see how much it had hurt him too, it left you feeling unsettled.

“I thought I could let you go if it meant you’d be safe,” he muttered, his gaze still fixed on your cast.

“And now?”

You watched as he took a shuddered breath, tension coiling in his body as he struggled to find the words. The silence seemed to stretch on and all you could hear was the echo of your heart, pounding in your chest. And you knew Billy could hear it too. 

With every second that passed in silence, you started to lose hope.

“You terrify me,” he confessed in a whisper. “Everything about you, the way you make me feel; it’s all terrifying to me. And I can’t - I don’t understand it.”

You didn’t dare speak, wanting him to continue without prompt or provocation. Anything he said had to be because he wanted to say it. This was his chance to finally be honest and lay all of his cards on the table before you left. So, you waited, barely breathing as he seemed to fight with every rational part of himself to say the words.

“I wish I could stop feeling like this. I wish I could just let you go.”

“Why can’t you?” Your voice broke as you tried to hold back a flood of fresh tears. “You don’t want me, so why keep me here?”

“Stop saying that. Of course I want you. It kills me how much I want you,” he told you, still not looking at you, still staring at your arm, his head hung. “But it kills me just as much knowing that I’ll lose you no matter what I do. Even if you stayed by my side the rest of your life, and I’d still have to watch you grow old and slip away from me.”

Your breath caught, realising you’d never thought of it that way. When you’d told him you wanted to stay, you hadn’t been thinking about the future, about spending your life with him. But Billy wasn’t like you, a year to him would seem like nothing in the grand scheme of things. So would your lifetime. 

“You’ll grow old and die, and you’d miss out on so much because of me. There’s so many things I can’t give you… so many things you deserve...”

The thing that hurt most of all was how he’d obviously thought all of it through, how he’d considered what a future together would look like, but he hadn’t once tried to talk to you about it to find out what you wanted.

“I know I can’t keep you, but it’s just -” he let out an agitated huff “- it’s not fair. You’re the one person who makes this life, this existence bearable, and you hate me. You were the best thing to happen to me and I ruined it. I just wanted a little more time...”

Finally he looked up, his jaw clenching uncomfortably, his dark eyes shining with unshed tears.

“I don’t want to hurt you again but I don’t want you to go,” he almost pleaded. “Please, don’t go...”

It was your turn to talk, the moment to stick to your guns and tell him you were leaving, but the words just wouldn’t come. Tears were still rolling down your cheeks and you hated how much pain you were both in. Finally, he’d been honest and it was enough to make you wish he’d stuck with his lies.

“Please, say something,” he said after a minute had passed in silence.

“I’m tired, Billy,” you confessed, “I’m so tired of everything always being a fight or an argument...” 

“I know, and I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry I’ve put you through all of this.”

He dared to reach for you, his fingers brushing over the back of your hand, a ghost of a touch. But that touch was a comfort that you had been desperately craving, a comfort that you’d tried to find with Matt the night before, a comfort that you were finally realising only Billy could provide.

“Everything seems so pointless without you,” he muttered.

As much as you wanted to deny it, you felt the exact same way.

You loved him and nothing was going to change that.

Your heart stuttered, your hand slowly turning, cautiously letting your fingers brush against his before lacing them together and taking hold of his hand. A relieved sound escaped him and you felt his fingers tighten around yours.

“I won't hurt you again,” he promised and, this time, you actually believed him.

He reached for your cheek, thumb gently wiping away your tears.

A minute must have passed and neither of you seemed willing to move or pull away, so Billy cleared the distance and kissed you. It was soft at first, a tender reaffirmation and reignition of all the feelings you’d been trying to snuff out. He pressed closer, the kiss eventually turning more heated until his body was against yours and your broken arm was wrapped around him, cast pressing into his back and pulling him against you.

It was a slow descent into frenzy, but you both seemed to know where it was heading.

When he lifted you off your feet, your legs wrapped around him. You barely paid attention to where he was taking you, too caught up in his kiss.

Under different circumstances you might have taken a moment to realise that you were finally seeing his bedroom; you would have paid more attention to the dark and cold colour scheme and the smattering of photographs on the wall, or maybe you would have noticed the large walk-in closet, filled with his suits. But all you saw was the bed and all you wanted to pay attention to was Billy.

He kept kissing you and, by the time he put you down, your legs felt weak.

You both moved on auto-pilot, both needing and wanting so desperately that undressing each other was just a formality. There was no wonderment in slowly uncovering him because you’d seen him so many times and, this time, you were aching for so much more. You barely even pulled back from the kiss to look at him as his shirt, then pants, fell away.

Once you were both down to your underwear, you reached for him, your hand cupping his cock, feeling how it was already throbbing and hard for you, the tip already peeking out from beneath the elastic waistband of his boxers.

“Hummingbird,” he groaned as deft fingers unhooked your bra and pulled it away from you.

His hands slid up your stomach to your breasts, kneading the soft flesh and tracing his thumbs over your achingly hard nipples. He kissed you again, languidly and slowly. Your hand cupped him and stroked him through his boxers, earning another groan that you happily swallowed down, his hips moving, gently pressing himself into your touch.

A hand gripped your waist as he slowly guided you backwards. When you felt the bed against the back of your legs, you moved, climbing onto it and pulling him with you, 

You fell back, legs instinctively parting for him, allowing him to settle between your thighs. He tested the water by pressing his hips down against yours, letting you feel the hard length of his cock against you.

“Billy,” you gasped, arching your body into his.

“What do you need, hummingbird?” He asked, though you were already certain that he knew the answer.

“You, Billy,” you answered, already breathless, “I need you.”

He reached down between your bodies, cupping you through your panties, biting his lip when he felt just how wet they were. Billy didn’t bother trying to remove them, he settled for tearing them away from your body.

“You’re so wet already,” he said, wasting no time before pushing a finger inside you, causing your back to arch. He pulled it out just as quick before pushing in two and starting to fuck you with them.

“Billy,” you moaned with the intensity of it. 

It had been over six weeks since he’d last touched you, but he hadn’t forgotten a thing. You cried out as his fingers curled inside you, your walls clenching around him, gripping him tight. But it wasn’t his fingers you wanted, and Billy seemed to know that.

“I know,” he muttered as he pressed his lips to your neck. “Soon, hummingbird, I just need to make sure you’re ready for me...”

“Please...” you heard yourself begging, completely losing yourself to him.

“First you’re going to take my fingers, then my tongue, and then you’ll get my cock,” he told you.

Just the thought of it had you shivering.

Your breath caught as a third finger slipped inside you, stretching you and pushing you closer to an orgasm you didn’t have permission to have. At some point, your fingers had tangled in his hair and you were tugging far harder than you should.

“Do you want to come for me?” He whispered into your ear, and all you could do was keen in response. “Then come for me, little hummingbird.”

It was automatic, your body doing exactly as he wanted. You cried out and moaned his name as your walls started to convulse and flutter around his fingers. Fingers that kept moving, dragging out the sensation of ecstacy. You pulled his lips to yours and kissed him, trembling and moaning as his tongue found yours.

But he didn’t linger. Soon he was moving down your body, lips and tongue trailing a clear path from your lips, over your chest and stomach, and down to the apex of your thighs. You shivered in anticipation, seeing his dark eyes staring up at you from between your legs, his fingers parting your folds and -

“Billy,” you cried out as his tongue slid against your trembling flesh.

Your back arched and you tried to lift your hips to press against his mouth, but Billy quickly gripped your thighs and held you in place, determined to stay in control of your pleasure. His tongue moved to your clit, licking with the lightest pressure, barely a ghost of a touch but it was enough to have you breathless.

Finally his attention moved lower, lapping against your slick entrance before pressing the tip inside. If he hadn’t been holding you so tightly, so possessively, your hips would have shot off the bed but, instead, all you could do was cry out as his tongue continued to lick into you.

At some point, your fingers had found their way to his hair again and you were holding him just as tightly as he was holding you, trying to pull him against him, demanding more. And Billy didn’t disappoint. 

He fucked you with his tongue, not stopping to give you permission to come but, instead, fixing you with a hungry look. 

Your whole body tensed before you came on his tongue, but Billy didn’t stop. He continued to devour you, returning his attention to your clit, pushing you from one orgasm right into the next.

“Please,” you begged, feeling like you were about to shatter into a million tiny pieces, “no more. I can’t take any more.”

And, finally, he relented. Billy crawled back up your body, his chin and lips glistening with your wetness. He kissed you eagerly and your lips parted for him, tasting yourself in his mouth, while your hands forced his boxers down.

You’d already come three times, but just the press of his cock at your wet entrance was enough to make your breath catch. You were already intimately familiar with how big he was but it still made you nervous. Looking down you watched him tease his tip between your folds until it glistened with a mixture of your arousal and his own pre-cum.

Then, his cock surged into you, filling you in one rough thrust, catching you off-guard and causing your over-sensitive pussy to tremble as you struggled to adjust to his size. He pulled back before filling you again and again before coming to an abrupt stop buried deep inside you, leaving you shaking beneath him.

He looked down at you, a mixture of remorse and shame on his face and it took you a moment to realise why; he thought he was being too rough with you.

You reached for him, your hand pressing against his cheek. 

“It’s okay,” you told him softly, “I don’t want you to hold back.”

“But what if I -” he started and you shook your head.

“Are you here with me? Are you in control?” You asked and Billy gave a definite nod. “Then fuck me, Billy.” You told him, feeling your cheeks warm at how brazen it sounded.

You moaned as you felt him start to move again, every hard inch taking what he needed from you, every thrust causing your walls to flutter and clench, gripping him tight. Everything had been building to this moment, months of foreplay finally leading somewhere. It was no wonder he couldn’t hold back. 

“Fuck, hummingbird, you keep gripping my cock like that and I’m not going to last,” he groaned through gritted teeth. “Is that what you want? You want me to come inside you?”

No words left your mouth, just an eager, desperate moan as you stared up at him, lust and desire written all over his handsome face, putting to rest any lingering doubts that you had about his feelings for you.

He kissed you again and again, and you lost yourself to everything he was doing to you. You lost yourself to him. Every time he pulled back, he left you feeling empty and every time he plunged forward left you feeling like all your prayers had been answered.

“Come for me,” he demanded, as if he knew it was building in you before you did.

As commanded, your body started to shudder, coming undone as you moaned his name. His hips slowed, leisurely fucking you through another orgasm, sending more desperate sparks of arousal through your body. It was overwhelming. It was too much and not enough at the same time. You weren’t sure you could go on but you were certain that you couldn’t stop. You wanted more. You wanted everything.

And luckily for you, Billy was just getting started.

“You good?” He asked, his fingers brushing sweat slicked  hair away from your brow.

“Yeah,” you answered breathlessly, too overcome to even force a smile. “Are you?”

“Yeah,” he answered, “do you want to keep going?”

“Yeah.”

Billy smiled, kissing you softly, still moving slowly, waiting until your walls finally stopped trembling so much.

He gripped your leg, his hand behind your knee, pulling it upwards, opening you to him, while his other hand reached over you to grip the headboard. For a second he paused, looking down at you, waiting for permission. You bit your lip before nodding.

Nothing could have prepared you for the intensity of what followed. He pulled back slowly before plunging his thick cock into you again, deeper than before, making you realise that you hadn’t taken all of him before then. You let out an incomprehensible cry as you felt his tip graze your cervix, the sensation causing you to clench around him.

Looking down between your bodies, you watched as he started to fuck you, his hips setting a relentless pace, his grip on the headboard helping his powerful movements as he pushed you down into the mattress with each thrust. You felt out of control. No, you felt like you were giving control to Billy, letting him have it because you knew that was what he needed.

“Look at me,” he demanded, sounding just as breathless as you were.

Your eyes found his, and that sight alone was almost enough to make you come. His jaw was clenched and his unblinking eyes were watching every flicker of emotion that passed your face. He was looking at you like there was nothing else in the world, like he was committing every second of this to memory and leaving you feeling more wanted than you ever had.

“My hummingbird,” he groaned, “I’ll never let you go.”

You couldn’t answer, not when every rough, rapid-fire thrust of his hips was forcing moan after moan from you. 

Your hands slipped down his back over cold, sweat-slicked skin, right the way down until your fingers were gripping his buttocks, pressing your fingernails into his flesh. That only seemed to spur him on, moving faster, harder, claiming you with every shift of his hips.

“I want to feel you come again,” he told you.

This time you tried to hold back, fighting every urge that told you to give into the pleasure, wanting it to last, wanting Billy to keep fucking you into the mattress. But then you felt his hand on your throat, just beneath your chin, not squeezing, but gripping tight enough to get your full atention.

“I said I want to feel you come,” his voice almost became a growl, his fingers tentatively tightening their grip on your throat.

You couldn’t deny him. You don't want to, not when you were completely at his mercy. This sudden escalation should have scared you, but some part of you trusted him, some part of you was enjoying this and was desperate for more. Finally, there was no doubt in your mind that he wanted this, wanted you.

Your head fell back as the first wave of your orgasm crashed over you, his fingers gripping tighter as he continued to drive his cock into you. You swore and cried out his name, over and over as he forced you through the most intense climax of your life. Your vision went white and Billy kept going until you couldn’t take any more.

He pulled out suddenly, leaving your body desperately clenching and grasping around nothing, feeling unbearably empty. Your whole body shuddered with the intensity of it all, and Billy just watched as you fell apart for him. It seemed to go on and on, your body shaking uncontrollably, your eyes refusing to focus. You felt starved for touch, and even though you were falling apart, you felt needy and desperate for more than just the touch of his fingers on your throat.

Billy didn’t move until the worst of the tremors had subsided, pulling his hand from your throat as he lowered himself over you again. His lips pressed against yours in a chaste and gentle kiss, a tenderness in his eyes, as he slowly sank his cock back into your sensitive pussy. 

This time his movements were gentle, allowing you to really enjoy the feel of him inside you. Your fingers slipped through his hair and even though he was being so gentle now, you still felt tender and overwhelmed. It felt like something had broken inside of you, like he’d managed to fuck your head empty, and now all you could think about was him and how good it felt everytime he filled you with his cock.

His hands framed your face, holding you as he kissed you, and it felt like everything had been leading to this moment. Now that you’d both sated the urgent desires that had been building in you over the last few months, you could finally take your time with each other. 

You lost yourself in the gentle kiss, in the feeling of him loving you and not just fucking you, slowly climbing towards another orgasm and, this time, Billy seemed primed to join you. 

Towards the end, he started to pick up speed, his groans stacking, his face buried against your neck.

“Come, hummingbird,” he grunted.

The moment you let go, you felt him start to pulse inside you, the sensation causing you to shiver. He gave a couple more thrusts before finally stilling deep inside you, groaning against your neck as his orgasm gripped him.

When you’d pictured sex with Billy, this was not how it had played out, this was not how you saw it ending. You felt boneless, completely overwhelmed and exhausted. For a few moments you couldn’t tell where you ended and he began. And, when he finally pulled out, you felt the telltale trickle of cum between your thighs.

For the next couple of hours he held you. Neither of you spoke, both having said so much already. You drifted in and out of sleep, always waking to find him holding you securely, his cold body pressed to your back. 

You were half-asleep when you felt his fingers between your legs, parting your folds and guiding his cock into you. Your back arched against his chest as he started to fuck you from behind, letting out a soft moan as he teased your clit. His free hand gripped your chin, turning your head so he could kiss you, slipping his tongue between your lips before you could think to say anything.

His movements started off slow and sensual, letting you enjoy the sensations of him moving inside you and the way your body stretched to accommodate him. You still felt tender from earlier but any discomfort was quickly forgotten.

“Fuck, hummingbird,” he muttered against your lips, “your tight little pussy takes me so well...”

“Billy,” you moaned, eyes fluttering shut, still exhausted but wanting more.

“I’ll never get over the way you grip my cock. It’s like you were made just for me,” he continued in that low, seductive mutter. “Can you feel it?

“Yes,” you whined as your hand awkwardly reached behind you to settle on his hip, wanting to touch him.

It stayed like that for a few long minutes, Billy taking his time with you, smiling at every gasp and moan he managed to pull from you.

Then, without warning, he started to rut into you, his movements becoming desperate and sloppy until you felt him twitch and pulse inside you. You started to shift your hips, clumsily riding him as he spilled inside you. Realising that you hadn’t come, he resumed teasing your clit and groaned in your ear.

“Come for me, hummingbird,” he pleaded and you soon did as you were asked.

“I love you,” you moaned, turning to press your face into the pillow as your body succumbed to the pleasure coursing through it.

All Billy gave was a hum in response. There was no question in your mind that he’d heard those three little words, even as his body shivered behind you, and he lost himself in his own pleasure. After everything, you didn’t expect to hear it back, you didn’t expect him to confess more than he already had. You just wanted him to know.

You let out a soft whine as he pulled out, too exhausted to move or lift your head again, your eyes closing. Billy pulled you tight against him and held you there until you fell asleep again.

The next time you woke, it was to Billy getting out of bed. You watched him stroll into his walk-in wardrobe and he didn’t notice you were awake until he returned with a suit and shirt.

“I’m really sorry,” he told you softly, “I have to go in to work for a few hours, Frank’ll kill me if I don’t, but you can stay in here and rest and I’ll see you when I get home?” 

There was something in his voice that almost made it feel like he was asking your permission, like he didn’t know how you were going to react. Honestly, you weren’t sure how you wanted to react; you’d just spend the afternoon having the most earth-shattering sex of your life, and now he needed to go to work.

“Okay,” you muttered sleepily, knowing you couldn’t keep him from his job, not after all the time he’d already lost.

You watched as he headed into his bathroom and you listened as he took a quick shower before emerging dressed and ready to go. If you had been so tired you would have appreciated the sight of him in his light grey suit, looking devilishly handsome. Instead you could barely lift your head when he kissed you goodbye.

Around half an hour after he left, you managed to get up and return to your rooms. You took a long shower, exhausted but unable to keep your mind from racing over everything that had happened and what that meant going forward.

Everything he’d said, the way he’d looked at you when you were together; it was too much. It played over and over in your head until it became deafening in the silence of the penthouse. He’d been right about everything. You suddenly understood why he’d tried so hard to keep some distance between you, why he’d never wanted anything beyond the physical. You knew that losing you to illness or old age would kill him.

And you loved him far too much to put him through that.

You were left with only one option; hurt him now to save him from more pain later.

(Or maybe it wasn’t that at all, maybe you were just scared that he was going to hurt you again. As much as you hated yourself for your little admission of love during sex, it still caused your stomach to knot thinking about how he hadn’t said it back. What if he never said it?)

It wasn’t long before you found yourself by the intercom again, pressing the button, waiting for a response and, when you finally heard Lissa’s voice...

“I need my things, I want to leave...”

End Note : 😅😅😅😅 like I said last week 'trust me, I have a plan'. At least they actually got to fuck this time 😅 Also, just as a potential warning, I'm not 100% sure if next weeks chapter will be on time; I'm away for a couple of days and my birthday is next weekend. I have already started chapter 16 though so I will try to get it posted at the normal time. If I can't get it done, I'll post something to let people know and probably try to post two chapters the week after.

Also, I now have an AO3 account (it's hungermakesmonsters) I'm planning on posting things there as well as here but things will probably always end up on tumblr first, so don't feel like you have to follow me there or anything. As always, thanks for all your support and the likes/screaming in the comments/reblogs! Have a great weekend!

Let me know if you'd like to be tagged in future chapters! If tagging doesn't work for some reason (aka Tumblr being dumb) I post most Fridays around 7:30 gmt.

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@ashy-kit @jazzclubprincess

[shyvien]

Here are 100 random quotes from Lucifer!

Sourced from the OM! Wiki, chats, devilgram, screenshots I found, etc. I made this list to help with studying to write the characters in character. (Not really proofread, sorry if there are mistakes. Also, there may be spoilers. If so, they’re minor spoilers)

✧༺⚜️༻✧

​​“Do you want my attention? Why don't we talk for a little then? I have enough energy for that. As your presence is so very soothing to me.“

​​“Heh, not afraid to get sassy with me anymore, are you?”

​​“Let's celebrate until you cannot stand anymore.“

​​“No need to rush. I won't be able to help you if you fall down in the middle of the street. Rather, I would probably enjoy the sight.”

​​“...Well? How do you like Demonus-flavored kisses?“

​​“I believe it's long been established that if anyone's going to be eating them, it will be me.“

​​“If you want me to keep you from running that mouth of yours, you need only ask.“

​​“Are you poking fun at me right now? I see you like to play with fire. Well, there's a punishment for getting cheeky with me like that. Come here, MC”

​​“I am exceedingly concerned…”

​​“Now Listen, and listen well. I will not be your possession. I won’t belong to you. You will belong to me.”

​​“You seem repentant, so I shall forgive you.”

​​“Are you still tired from last night? After all, I didn’t let you get much sleep.”

​​“I will watch over you. Until the day comes where we must part. And I promise... to love you until the end of your days and beyond.”

​​“You... Release me! Don't you dare try to put me to sleep like I'm not ten million years older than you!”

​​“All of you, out of the way...! I'm going to tear that human limb from limb…!”

​​"Are you trying to please me?"

​​"Do you need a goodnight kiss?"

​​"You are a strange human being."

​​"You want me to praise you for that? Very well… Good iob."

​​"Fine, I'll forgive you just this once."

​​"Do you need something?"

​​“It's as if you're saying that you need me in your life, and that's a wonderful feeling. Is it conceited of me to say that? Well, I am the Avatar of Pride, after all."

​​“Stab it with a fork or something. Anything sharp should do the trick.“

​​"I can't say I mind spending my time with you while Mammon's shrieks echo in the background either. Heh! And Diavolo's laughter is even louder than that."

​​“Well, there are worse demons it could have happened to... Probably.”

​​“Asmo, you stay right there. I'll go get my whip.“

​​“Hush now. Daddy's here to give you a hug.“

​​“NONONONONONO! I'm saying I DON'T want them to see that picture. So, if they ask you for it, I'd like you to tell them that no such photo exists. OK?”

​​“That won't be necessary. I went ahead and blew it up. The entire room.“

​​"If you want to get the better of me, that toy of yours isn't going to cut it. Perhaps try lethal poison from some horrific insect, aged a thousand years for maximum potency."

​​“I know, I know... But why don't we save the killing until after you've eaten your breakfast, hm?“

​​“Mmm, nothing's sweeter than listening to their screams of agony. Heheheh...”

​​“Bring him down to the living room. Use whatever means necessary…though I do want him alive.“

​​”I would never have imagined I would be kissed on the cheek by you. I don't dislike it when you take the initiative. But why on the cheek? You don't need to hesitate with me. Next time, do it on the lips. Understand?”

​​“Hell coffee becomes bitter when you prepare it for someone that you're fond of. It's a special property of the coffee beans. Naturally, I drank every last drop of your feelings.”

​​“Only those that haven't been involved in that dolt's childish antics are the truly happy ones.”

​​“When I get my hands on him, I'll have to be thorough with my discipline.”

​​“Tomorrow I will be handing Diavolo a report detailing how all of the exchange students are faring. I'll be sure to stress how excited you are to continue your education here at our prestigious academy.”

​​“How's the Celestial Realm? Unlike the Devildom, you don't have to worry about anyone grabbing you and eating you for lunch there, do you?”

​​“You've got Solomon with you as well, so you should relax and enjoy your time there.“

​​“If only my brothers were as obedient as you are. It is not every day that you get the chance to have me indebted to you. You can expect a one-hundred times return on the investment of your time, that I promise. In return, I expect that you won't let me down.”

​​“How naive. If you don't want me to have wasted my time by informing you, be sat in your seat at the table within the next sixty seconds. It will be just you and me. Let us enjoy the rare breakfast together before my brothers ruin the atmosphere.”

​​“Don't get cocky, MC.”

​​“One spoke at length about the clothing on the Diavolo sticker. It waxed lyrical about how exquisite the design choices were.”

​​“However, I discovered a slew of insults written in invisible ink on the page.“

​​“How could you tell? You really know me well, MC! Hehehe. I was drinking Demonus with Diavolo earlier. And you know, he kept saying all these nice things about you... Let me tell you, I'm also really happy you're down here with us.”

​​“…Who even came up with the idea that whoever empties their bottle first, wins...? Oh, right. I did... My bad. Ah, my head is spinning. Good night MC. Love you.”

​​“Ugh, you thickheaded fool of a demon! What's your skull made of? Granite?”

​​“That's a curse meant to make you stub your toe on the leg of a table… But if you actually do stub your toe, it hurts quite a bit.”

​​“MC. It has come to my attention that Mammon and Asmo took you out for a drive recently. Well, how was it? Enjoyable? …I'm glad to hear it. We all need breaks from the daily grind from time to time. l'd like you to join me for a drive next time. I'll give you a taste of euphoric freedom that those two could never dream of. Prepare for the time of your life.”

​​“If you'd like, we could take a shower together.”

​​“After all, I haven't managed to seduce you yet. I'm going to need more time.”

​​“The three highest-ranked demons in the realm, frolicking about in a frivolous pajama party? How absurd.”

​​“I didn't hear a word you just said. I know nothing about it, and I'm going to keep it that way.”

​​“I see. Then I should be allowed to take a similar photo of you, no? Come stay over in my room again tonight.”

​​“Don't be stupid. I will not allow myself to be clad in demon garb. I'm going to strip off every last piece of it this very instant and fling it as far away from me as I can.”

​​“You're a demon. I'm surprised someone like you is able to feed me lines like that with a straight face. You've got some nerve.”

​​ “Heheheh. Well, he is my brother, after all, so I thought I'd go easy on him. So, should I make this quick, or go slowly, bit by bit? Your choice.”

​​ “So, tell me. what's with the Little D.? The one looking at me with that moronic expression...”

​​“You think you stand a chance against me?! You think you could defeat Lucifer, Avatar of Pride?“

​​ “Well, aren't you persistent. I suppose you won't be happy until you've pummeled the door senseless?”

​​“...Just what were you hoping to accomplish by knocking me down like this, hm? Because doing something like that to me, right now… is making it much harder for me to control myself...!”

​​“Given that you were the one who pounced first, you can't complain when the tables are turned, can you? …I'm so thirsty, I can hardly think straight. I trust you understand what that means.”

​​ “To show my thanks, I suppose I'm not against giving you some special treatment. You'll have to come closer. I'll give you my lap until you're satisfied. ...You'll keep me company until then, won't you?”

​​"You deserve a thank you."

​​ "Sorry, this isn't exactly my cup of tea. I was hoping you'd know me better."

​​"It appears to me you know what pleases me."

​​"Are you really trying to tickle me? Heheheh, you'll have to do much better than that."

​​"Pff...if you think that tickles, you're wrong."

​​"Well, if you insist on touching me, then be my guest.”

​​"Well, hello. How are things?"

​​"You've got some nerve keeping me waiting. Well now, what are you going to do about it?"

​​"I'm back. Hm? ...Did you miss me?"

​​"*sigh* I've had a long day. But seeing you has a way of making me feel better."

​​"Sorry, I had some business to take care of. Well, well, you certainly seem happy to see me."

​​"Done? Let's continue this in my room."

​​"Good night... We'll meet again in our dreams."

​​ "I feel like we both have a nice day ahead of us."

​​ "I enjoyed our time together. Perhaps we should do this again."

​​“You do know what I'm capable of... don't you?"

​​ "Happy Easter. Will you accept it, my little bunny?"

​​"Once you're officially a sorcerer, I'd like you to become powerful enough to shut up Solomon for me."

“Very well. Here I go. Lucifer Kick!”

“Why should I be subjected to the indignation of a pat on the head from you?”

​​“After all, it's a bit like tossing a helpless lamb into the middle of a pack of hungry wolves, isn't it? But it's also important to understand just who it is you're eating, wouldn't you say?“

​​ “It means that I see you as prey, too. Just like the others. It goes without saying that I'm far stronger than you. If I were to pin you down right here and now, you wouldn't be able to do anything about it, now would you? How about we give it a try...?“

​​“You will soon enough.”

​​ “When a vampire feeds, it's not like his human prey feels only pain. Quite the opposite, actually. They're overcome with a feeling of unimaginable ecstasy. The truth is that you want this as well, don't you? You want to feel my arms around you, to give yourself up to me and offer up your blood... You're special. I won't drink you dry...no. I'm going to kiss you again and again, all over your body. Indulging in you just a bit each and every night. And I do mean every night. No other vampire will ever know the taste of your blood…”

​​“Do you have any idea how hard I had to struggle not to do this earlier...? It was all I could do to resist throwing my arms around you right in front of everyone at the party.”

​​ “MC… I missed you. I can tell just from the way you feel against me. I can sense what you're feeling.I'm sorry, MC. ...Sorry it took me so long to get to you. You should really stay with me tonight. We need to make up for all the time lost.“

​​ “You're drunk, you idiot. Oh well, I'll go along with you just for today. Bottoms up.”

​​“Me? Intoxicated? Preposterous. I'm my usual old self.”

​​“You are also fond of me, no?“

​​ “Then come over here. Are you holding back? Come closer. Prepare yourself. If I win, I get to do with you as I please.”

​​“You know there is no turning back after the first pillow is thrown, right?”

“As a demon, I've never cared when humans bred…”

​​“Stop unnecessarily stressing me out. You're shaving years off my life here.”

​​ “I don't mind. If I am not allowed to nag, then I can simply beat these rules into you.”

​​“Is this how you all amuse yourselves? By sending photos of your exposed body parts?”

​​ “Good grief. I need eyes everywhere to keep track of everyone.”

Extras! (It's hard to pick just 100 y'know?)

1. ​​“Leading unhealthy lifestyles, frittering away your time and money… The extent to which you all squander your lives away is quite intolerable to watch.”

2.​​ “Put two or more of you together, and you start getting ideas in your head. Bad ideas.”

3. “The next time one of you puts so much as a toe out of line… I'lI march you all up your beloved Mt. Imminent Death, and ensure that you NEVER return.”

4. “So as an extra bonus, I'll tickle you...”

5. “How nice that you're not letting our large underground gambling problem spoil your fun...”

✧༺⚜️༻✧

𝑀𝒶𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉

𝒮𝒽𝓎 𝒲𝓇𝒾𝓉𝑒𝓇 ༝༚༝༚

[lovecla]

TAKE YOUR PAIN AWAY | quinn hughes.

chapter ten:

<last chapter> <next chapter>

➴ chapter warnings: mentions of gaining weight, body shaming, mentions of drug use, toxic mom, body issues.

➴ word count: 2.9k

💌 from me to you: i CANNOT stress this enough: please read the story’s warnings before reading this chapter — or any of them, really. this is heavy, i did not hold back. if any of the topics in the warnings make you feel uncomfortable do NOT read! i wrote this chapter with my heart in my hands but unfortunately this is what maddie needs to grow. thank u for reading and be careful ♡

౨ৎ

2024, MAY.

SIGHTING, YOU stared at the clock on your wall, reading the time: three thirty-three in the morning.

Bella snored happily beside you, sleeping like the dead, while you have been awake for more than fifteen hours straight.

It wasn’t like you aren’t tired, no, you are. You had spent a long day on set, taking pictures in crazy locations like in the middle of one of Vancouver’s busiest avenues, and recording enough social media content for the rest of your career— only ideally, because in reality you knew that you’d have to record more the next week.

You kept recalling the things Luke told you two days ago, at Jack’s birthday dinner, and you hated every second of it. For the rest of the weekend you tried to keep the mood light and happy, but you knew Quinn wasn’t dumb and he knew something was up. He asked you a million times if there was anything he could do or if he should go after Luke and tell him to apologize for yelling at you the way he did, but you just smiled and shook your head no.

Quinn couldn’t go after Luke because you knew that if he did, Luke would tell him what really happened, and even if Quinn does like you, there was no way he wouldn’t agree with his little brother’s words.

Because you didn’t need to be a genius to realize that Luke’s right, and you do have issues with accepting love in your life. At the time Luke said it to your face, you were so angry you didn’t realize that it was the sad, unwanted truth.

All these years, you’ve been trying to feel normal, accept what people gave you and move on with it. But it had never crossed your mind that people could tell it was hard for you to accept feelings, good feelings.

You were used to people getting mad at you, you were used to mean comments on Instagram, used to harsh words coming from your parents and used to your brother’s lack of interest in you, because it was easy to understand. You weren’t someone easy to deal with, therefore this was their only way of reaching you.

But good, loving words? How could you explain someone giving you love and asking for nothing back? How could you explain the way Quinn and his parents and brothers treated you, a complete stranger that happened to be their neighbor, but they opened their doors for you nonetheless?

How could you explain the way Quinn took care of you (and Bella), making sure you had a healthy routine, eating healthy meals and sleeping enough? How could you explain the way he helped you shower after a make out session, scrubbing your body with gentle hands, drying your hair and giving you his clothes because he knew you liked them?

You couldn’t explain any of his actions and it scared you to death. How could someone be so kind to a person like you?

Hours later, you stood in your kitchen, looking at another text coming from Quinn.

After he drove you home after you both arrived from Newark, two days ago, you hadn’t seen him. You were thankful for his away games and for your busy schedule, because then he wouldn’t see you like this.

You had thought about giving it a try, and telling Quinn that you wanted to be his, you wanted to be able to call him yours. But after Luke’s words, you realized that you weren't ready for it. And you didn’t want to hurt any of them, like you have been doing unconsciously all this time.

The doorbell rang, making you snap out of it and flinch. You looked around your kitchen, listening to Bella’s loud barks and sighing. You walked to the door, ready to tell whoever it was to go to hell and close the door on their face. But—

“Mom?” the disbelief in your voice could almost be comical, if it wasn’t sad.

Your mom stood in front of your door in all her glory, high heels and slick bun making her look so elegant. She had a frown on her face, as she always did whenever she looked at you. But this time, she wasn’t frowning at you; it was at Bella.

Oh, right, you think, calling Bella’s name, Mom doesn’t like dogs.

Bella promptly listened to you, probably sensing that your mom wasn’t a fan of animals. It was their first time meeting each other and it was already bad.

“Madison,” your mom greets you, getting inside your apartment, holding a giant Givenchy shopping bag. She places it on your coffee table, analyzing your apartment with judgy eyes. “I’m here to see you, since you never invited me over, not even once, since you moved back home.”

Her tone was anything but hurt. She wasn’t aching because you had never invited her over, no. She probably just wanted to make you feel bad, and, well. She succeeded.

“I’m sorry,” you apologize, patting Bella’s fluffy head, looking for some kind of support. “It must have slipped my mind.”

She scoffs, sitting on your couch with the mannerisms of a royal. “You were probably too busy with that boyfriend of yours, no?”

“Boyfriend?” you ask, confusion taking over your face. “I don’t have a boyfriend.”

“Oh, please, Madison, we’ve been here before,” she rolls her eyes. “I knew that getting you back in touch with that little family was a bad thing, but your father wanted to invite them that night for dinner, so what could I possibly have done to prevent it?”

“Don’t— don’t talk like that about them,” you plead, trying to sound brave. “And I’m not… I’m not dating Quinn.”

“Madison, people talk. Your name has been mentioned in websites, magazines, social media more times this month than in your entire career. Lord, even more than when you were the cover of Vogue.”

You bite your lip, not sure of what you could say. It wasn’t like you and Quinn hadn’t seen some of the comments talking about you two being a couple, but you could only think of the way he laughed at some of them.

“Okay, okay, listen to this one,” you eagerly say, adjusting your body on top of his lap, his hands holding your waist in place. “‘Quinn, can you fight?’”

Quinn frowns, making you laugh. “They really think they’d win in a fight with me?”

“Well, a girl said this, so I guess you’re in hot waters,” you smile, scrolling down the comment section, looking for more funny comments. “Oh, this one’s pure gold: ‘I had never found Quinn attractive until Madison started fucking him’.”

“Am I supposed to feel flattered?” he smiles, and you shrug.

“I think I’m supposed to feel threatened by this,” you chuckle. “The amount of women calling you hot on my Instagram comment section is alarming.”

“It’s not worse than the men in my comments talking about you,” he kisses your cheek, sounding annoyed. “It’s crazy how we haven’t even posted anything together yet people are quick to assume we’re dating.”

You smile, giving him a peck on the tip of his nose. “Welcome to my world, baby.”

“Madison!”

Your mom’s loud voice brings you back to the present, something you immediately disliked. The memories you kept of your time with Quinn were your happiest ones.

“I’m sorry,” you move around the room, sitting on one of your chairs. “What were you saying?”

“I was saying that I brought you something I want you to wear at the Fashion’s gala next month,” she nods at the bag sitting on your table, making you cringe. “I’m giving a speech, and you have to be there.”

“Will Peter be there as well? Dad?” You ask, opening the bag in front of you.

“Of course they’ll be there, they’re not like you.”

You choose to ignore what she said, not wanting to get mad at her for nothing. If she wanted to compare you to them, like she’d done your entire life, then so be it.

You opened the bag, finding a beautiful black dress inside. It looked expensive, and knowing your mother, you already knew it was. But you had to confess, it was gorgeous.

“It’s beautiful, mom,” you whisper, carefully touching the fabric. “Thank you.”

“I want you to try it on.” She says, crossing her legs.

You chuckle. “Now? It’s only for next month, mom.”

“Now, Madison.” She leaves no room for complaints, and Bella growls softly beside you.

You nod once, looking at Bella and debating whether you should let her alone with your mom or not. In the end, your dog mom instincts spoke louder and you called her to come to the bedroom with you, leaving your mom alone in the living room.

Putting the dress on had been a nightmare, even for you, who were used to wearing all types of clothes. It squeezed your boobs in a hurtful way, and it made it almost impossible for you to breathe.

“What’s taking you so long, Madison?” Your mom yells from the living room, making you sigh, trying to zip the back of the dress by yourself. “Come here!”

You rolled your eyes, tired, and walked out of your bedroom, Bella behind you like a loyal guard. Your mom immediately put her eyes on you, gasping theatrically when she saw how the dress hadn’t zipped all the way in.

“Madison. Why…” she stops herself for a second before speaking again. “Why didn’t you zip it all the way up?”

You shrug, not giving much thought to it. “It doesn’t zip up. You probably got the wrong size or something.”

“Wrong size? Madison, that is your size. You…” she gets up, slowly making her way to you. You instinctively step back, not sure of what to expect of her. “You gained weight.” She says, like you had just confessed to her about murdering several people.

You look down at your own body, her words slowly making their way to your head.

Before you started seeing Quinn, you were obsessed with your weight, and it wasn’t exactly news to anyone. But you always blamed it on your job, because you had to look good twenty-four seven, so worrying about your appearance and eating just the right amount wasn’t anything crazy.

But then, Quinn re entered your life, and suddenly calories weren’t your biggest concern. That voice that lived in your head, annotating everything you ate, was gone for most part of the day.

And you probably got sloppy. Eating pizza for dinner, fast food whenever you or Quinn were too lazy to cook, chocolate bars everyday. And you never thought about it twice, because Quinn made you think about good things, things that weren’t related to your body.

He worshiped your body, even. Every time he got intimate with you, he’d always talk about how pretty, how gorgeous and sweet and beautiful you were. He kissed every inch of your body like he had a job to complete, and it made you feel loved. Cared. Good.

But now, as your mom stared at you and your dress with pure disgust in her face, it was like being woken up from a good dream. It was like going back to the days where she controlled everything you ate and everything you drank, weighing you everyday so she could make sure you weren’t being sloppy behind her back.

“I… I guess I did,” you mumble, wanting to get out of your own house as soon as possible. You wanted to be in Quinn’s warm, safe arms, away from all of these horrible thoughts.

“You guess you did?” Your mom scoffs. “Madison, look at yourself! You are fat!”

“I’m not fat, I’m just healthy,” You try to argue back, fighting the urge to shout. “I’ve been eating three meals a day and snacks, so that was probably it—”

“Three meals a day— are you insane?!” She raises her voice, her eyes staring down at you. “Have you weighed yourself lately?”

“No,” you whisper, feeling embarrassed by something that didn’t even make sense to you anymore.

“That’s why you look the way you look,” she starts walking around the room, hands in her head, looking more distressed than usual. “I can’t believe it. I spent your entire life trying to make sure you’d look good, you’d be perfect, you’d be just like me and look at you! Look at what you did with my work!”

“I’m not some kind of experiment, mom, I’m your daughter!” You shout back, already feeling the tears streaming down your face. “I’m your daughter. And yet you look at me and only see some distorted version of yourself, and I cannot—”

“Don’t you dare compare yourself to me, Madison,” she hisses again, pointing at you. “You’ll never be like me. I take care of myself and of what I love—”

“You don’t love anything, mom!” You yell, letting your tears fall down your face, tired of being in this family. Tired of being you. “I wish I could say you love yourself but you don’t, mom, and you made me just like you. You made me hate myself and hate everything I do, and you’re not even sorry for it!”

“Sorry for it? Madison, I made who you are today. You’re only famous because of me. Stop being ungrateful and start acting like the woman I raised you to be.”

You didn’t raise me, you wanted to tell her, you and dad were never home. You left me alone with thousands of sitters and Peter, who didn’t give a fuck about me.

“I never asked for any of this,” you run your fingers through your hair, fisting it between your fingers, harshly. “I never asked for you to plan my life for me, I never asked to be a model, or famous. All I wanted was you and dad and Peter to love me.”

She rolls her eyes, crossing her arms in front of her chest, the fabric of her expensive dress stretching. “Oh, stop it, Madison, you’re not the little girl you think you are. You’ll not gaslight me and make me think I’m a bad mom.”

You wipe your eyes with your hands. “What’s that even supposed to mean?”

“I’ll do what you want,” she straightens her head again, staring at you like you meant close to nothing to her. “If you want to be free of us so badly, then I’ll do what you want.”

“I never said—”

“You don’t need to talk to me or to your dad again, God, you don’t even have to talk to Peter if you don’t want to,” she grabs her purse from the couch, opening and looking for something. Once she found it, she placed it on the table, giving it a little push until it got closer to you. You eyed the package, not believing what you were seeing. “This is for you. Your dad talked to some people and... I don’t care if you want to be hideous and overweight, that’s on you for bringing shame to our name. But next month’s dinner is my last gala at Fashion before I retire. So I…” she closed her mouth, staring at you for a few seconds. “You need to be there. And this is me giving you a last chance of proving that you can accept my love for you.”

You lifted your head fast, staring at her with wet eyes and red nose.

“Accept… your love?” The word felt weird on your mouth, especially when you were using it in a conversation with your mom.

“Yes, Madison,” she sighs, like this whole encounter is making her exhausted. “My love for you. You think I do all of this just because I have nothing better to do?” She laughs, but you can tell it’s fake. “No, Madison. I do this because I love you, and I don’t want to see you alone and unwanted.”

This was the first time in years that you hear your mom telling you she loves you. Actually, you don’t even remember the last time she had said it, or even if she had said it before.

You didn’t know what to think. All this time, you wondered why you still did what your mom asked you to, even if you’re grown and responsible for yourself. But it all made sense now.

All this time, the only thing you’d wanted was for her to tell you that she loved you.

“No, you— you can’t just say shit like that, Luke. I know what love is.”

“I’m not saying you don’t, M, I’m just saying you don’t know how to accept it!”

“Will you…” you start, grabbing the bottle she left for you on the counter, reading the label, Phentermine. “Will it make you happy if I take these?”

She smiles, reaching out for your trembling hands for the first time in a while, her cold hands making you flinch. “Of course, Madison. And it’s only for a month. When I was your age, your grandma gave me something similar, and look at me! I’m just fine.”

You look at her hands on top of yours, holding the bottle too. Then, you look at her eyes, finally seeing what you had always wanted, something other than disgust and disappointment.

You nod, once and then twice, before taking the bottle with you, and trying to smile.

“Okay,” you whisper. “It’s only for a month, right?”

“It sure is,” she nods. “You’ll make me so proud.”

You smile through your tears, fighting back the need— want— of hugging her, knowing it was off limits.

It’s only for a month, you repeat in your head, countless times.

It’s only for a month.

taglist: @hischierswhore @ru-kru @alwaysclassyeagle @he6rtshaker @nope-i-am-done @nngkay 🤎

[misguidedasgardian]

The Hour of the Wolf (1)

1. The wolf and the sheep

MASTERLIST

Summary: Cregan Stark takes the capital

Warnings: Cursing, war, death, mentions of killings, genocide and war, threats, threats of mutilation, SPOILERS for ASOIAF, and Fire & Blood, also, might spoil House of the Dragon 

Wordcount: 2.2k

Notes: Sorry for the delay people jeje, anyways, this is a warm up for the real thing, this is and will be very political, I hope it can go smoother than this

King Aegon, second of his name, King of the Andals, the Rhoynar, and the First Men, Lord of the Seven kingdoms and protector of the realm, was dead

He had been poisoned by his own council

As Cregan Stark and an army of twenty thousand men strong, plus the survivors of the Riverlands, known as “the Lads”, and the Vale by the sea, all sieged the Capital in name of their late Queen Rhaenyra, he didn’t think of surrendering, he intended to keep fighting the war, killing hundreds of thousand more 

He was never going to surrender, and he was going to get himself, and everyone else on the Red Keep, killed

The king had grown mad in the last year

How couldn’t he? he had lost his entire family but his daughter, and his dragon, and he was the cause for millions of deaths all over the seven Kingdoms

It had finally catched up to him 

And he was going to harm the Princess, little Prince Aegon, and Baela Targaryen

Corlys Velaryon couldn’t let that happen 

So in the crack of dawn, the servants found Aeggon dead in his bed, he seemed like he had perished in his sleep, but he was still holding a cup of wine in his hand

People celebrated his death

And now people could call him the usurper out loud

Because everyone knows the truth…

Cregan Stark was coming

They were dark weeks in which the wolf was looming over the herd of sheep

And the remains of the small council were still discussing what to do, Larys Strong, Corlys Velaryon, Maester Olwyle, who was let out of his imprisonment by Rhaenyra, and Aegon’s former King’s guard, Gyles Belgrave,  and other Lords from higher houses, Borros’ younger brother

“Aegon the younger should be named heir”, said one

“King”, corrected another, “we are too late to name heirs, someone must sit the iron Throne”

“We have her older daughter” said Corlys, “if we don’t name her then all the war was for nothing, because we would be denying her in favor of the male heir”

“Let's marry them, they will rule together”

“Aegon is six, the princess is shy of turning eight and ten!”, fighted Corlys

“Aegon must marry princess Jahaera, to finally unify both fronts, and end this war once and for all”

“They are children”, fought another

“Addam Velaryon is alive, I will marry him to the Princess”, demanded Corlys

“Of course you will, so your bastard son will rule?”

“There is a inconvenience”, muttered maester Orwylde

“Which is?”, asked the Sea Snake

“According to the pact of Ice and Fire, a treaty signed by the late Prince Jacaerys and Cregan Stark, the princess is set to marry the Wolf of Winterfell” 

“That was two years ago”, said Corlys, “many things had happened since then”

“Stark is marching on the capital in revenge for his Queen!”, the old man fought, “as said treaty dictated”

“When he arrives… who will he find on the Iron Throne?”, asked Tyland, “his betrothed? or her six year-old brother?”

“It is dangerous to have Cregan Stark as a King consort”

“I think it’s exactly what we need”, muttered Corlys

“You just now wanted to marry the princess to your bastard!” 

“Where is the princess?”, asked Larys Strong, with a unsteady smile on his face

“She is her rooms”

“That girl is… she is not well!”, muttered Tyland

“She is traumatized…”, said another

“I checked her myself, she has no signs of being… unhinged nor unstable”, muttered Olwylde 

“Aegon made his dragon eat her mother alive in front of her”

“Aegon, a six year old boy was also there present, the one you would prefer to sit on the Iron Throne, a child!”

“She will seat the Iron Throne!”, said Corlys, “we must agree to it, don’t we?”

“Yes we have to” 

“Aye”, said Maester Orwylde 

“Has anyone spoken to her?”, muttered Tyland

“No since Aegon died”

“The usurper”, called Corlys

“We cannot call him that, we served him…”, remembered the Lannister 

“Cregan Stark, and the armies of the Riverlands are marching on the capital”, remembered the Sea Snake

“Do we know what his intentions are?”

“To take the capital for the blacks”, muttered Corlys, “and right now, we are all Greens”, the room was silent

“We have to please the wolf” 

“We have the Queen”

“We have to surrender the city to Stark”

Lord Baratheon just watched, amused, Larys had his eyes on him, curious about what he wanted to say

“Open the gates, we receive Stark”, he demanded, and everyone looked at him

“He will kill us all”

“Not if we don’t put resistance”, he tried, “the girl or the boy, whichever we place on the throne, is from Rhaenyra’s blood, not our Queen, but our enemy, Stark is coming here to kill us, and make sure one of them sits the Iron Throne, if you want to survive this week, i say we grab the kid, send him to the wolf and the Lads as a sign of good faith”

“What about the girl?”

“The road is no place for a princess”, he continued, “she should stay in the Keep, safe”

“As insurance”, mocked Tyland, “in case something happens to the boy”

“We send Aegon to The Lads, not to Stark”, said Alard Baratheon, “see if the Wolf takes the bait”

“She can’t know”

So the council grabbed Aegon the younger from his rooms, gathered a large caravan and delivered him to the Tullys, and leader of an army

While you… remained in your rooms unaware of what was going on.

. . .

The realms had been submerged in chaos for the last two whole years, brothers fighted sisters, kin usurped kin, dragons danced with dragons, and the results where incalculable loss of people, the fall of the greatest dynasty in Westeros, and the death of Dragons, the most incredible and powerful creatures

because dreams didn’t make the Targaryen Kings, Dragons did 

The Red Keep, House of the Dragon since a hundred years ago, had seen four monarchs in the last three years, people had come and gone, killed for their alliances, traded for others, like a mythological creature.

One man, with one monarch to serve lost his head, two more, following a different monarch rose on its place

Now the castle lay inert, quiet, those who followed Aegon had been decimated, those who had followed Rhaenyra were killed or chased away, now everyone who resided there seemed to be replaceable, taken for granted.

It wasn’t the home of the reigning family anymore

It was a carcass, waited to be filled by the next power who dared to take it for themselves, waited to be lived again by those faithful to the next Queen or King of the Seven Kingdoms

The castle was grim, silent, Viserys, Alicent, Aegon, Rhaenyra, and then Aegon again, all of them had tried to make his mark inside these walls, so now it had taken a form of some sort of Chimera, a monsters with a different head, body and feet, a part of each animal, a part of each monarch.

The colors gold, green, black and red, one started where the other ended, melted together sewing the bloody story of what it was about to be known like the Dance of the dragons, it was upsetting

Uncertainty

Doubt

Three survivors of what it once a big and powerful family

Three broken children

A empty castle

A divided Kingdom

An empty carcass, and no brave men left to fill it

None but one

Cregan Stark had come home after the defeat of the winter wolves, to gather a powerful army of forty thousand men strong.

The mission was to eliminate the remain of the Green forces, and strengthen the position of his Queen, Rhaenyra Targaryen

Even though as he gathered his army, his Queen had been assassinated by her brother

That did not deter Cregan Stark, if anything, it made his mission even more imperative, now, he was up for revenge

He knew Rhaenyra had two remaining children, her oldest and only daughter, and her son Aegon the younger. The first one, two years ago, he agreed to wed, back when she was the second older child, behind Jacaerys, and a princess with nothing to her name but to make alliances

It was for her he marched south, to keep his word to her mother

He planned in taking the capital, no matter the cost, he planned on killing every single last green, even though The Lads had gotten ahead of him, eliminating Borros baratheon and the remains of his army, the Green army

As he had no news of the capital since he left Winterfell, he knew the Usurper sat the Iron Throne, no, he didn’t actually, he sat on a wooden chair at the feet of it, since he couldn’t even climbed up the steps for it

He was going to surrender the city or die at his hands

He was the late Queen’s biggest supporter, and he failed her, he took too long, he had to make amends, make things right

He, and his army, was going to mach to all corners of the Kingdoms, until everyone was accounted for their part in the usurpation of his Queen

A rider reached his army when he was passing through Harrenhal

King Aegon the usurper was dead, killed by his own men

But this did nothing but to disgust the wolf

Snaked inhabited the capital, no one else

His new Queen, and his prince were there, in midst of traitors and turncloaks, so the news of the Usurper being dead only encouraged him to march south even Quicker

The Lads were ruling those zones, assumed to ambush everyone who passes through the king’s road, but even though his scouts encountered men from the Riverlands, they did nothing to prevent him from passing

A silent truce, and agreement, they were on the same size

They did not join one another, but The Lads let Cregan Stark pass through the RIverlands uninterrupted 

Independently from Aegon the younger traveling to Harrenhal to The Lads as a gesture of good fiat, even though the young prince was part of Cregan’s mission, his main goal was to bring justice to the realm

And to keep you safe

With prince Aegon in his power, and the main commanders of the Lads, Cregan reached King’s Landing on the twentieth day of the sith moon of the year 131 AC

He found the city gates wide open, waiting for him

He found the city completely ready for the taking, the people didn’t stop him, he couldn’t see soldiers anywhere, when he arrived at the Keep, the small council was right there, on the steps leading to the great Hall where the Iron Throne was.

“Lord Stark”, greeted Corlys

Cregan was still atop his horse, looking down at this.. things, more serpents than men

He dismounted, not even caring to respond to the calling, his household, his most trusted men entered the keep, swords in hand

“This city is now under my control”, he demanded, “I have taken it, in the name of Late Queen Rhaenyra Targaryen!”, he said out loud

The soldiers there did surrender their weapons, as the northerners spread all over the courtyard and the main streets of the city 

A pack of wolves in a hunt

Cregan paid no mind to the weakened remains of the Green council, and he found no real authority there, Cregan Stark started to give orders

“Send word to Dragonstone, to send whomever is left from Queen Rhaenyra’s council”, he said to the maester Orwylde, who just nodded and limped away to fulfill the order. “Including a new maester”, he said with a demanding look on his face 

Nobody questioned him

He was tall, and broad, long black hair secured by braids, two piercing eyes and a reputation in battle.

The wolf had come to the capital

He had taken the city without even shedding a drop of blood, without even unsheathing his sword 

He entered the throne room, and he was not surprised to see it empty, The Iron Throne right there.

A strange wooden chair with wheels at the foot

“Have that burned in the courtyard, where everyone can see”, he demanded to his second in command, he nodded and took three men with him to fulfill his order, “For every green dragon banner that I see I will behead a Lannister, a Baratheon or a Hightower!”, he said aloud, and at least ten men from the Keep ran to get rid of the sickening symbol

He took only one step up the Iron Throne, he only needed the one, he turn around, to meet the council of traitors and cowards 

“Where is she?”, he asked out loud

“Where is who, my lord?”, asked Corlys Velaryon

“Where is the Queen?”, his voice resounded en the entire Throne Room

taglist! <3

@lyannesworld @unlesshouse @mxtokko

[aineryeo]

The Legend of the Blue Sea Episode 3.1: Maybe This Time

Chapter Synopsis: The second time Kenji Sato met you was during his junior year of high school. Newly transferred and still getting started on being varsity for the baseball team, he overhears his high school crush talk trash about him. Determined to get back at them, he convinces you, the girl who managed to smack him mid-run with a whiteboard, to be his fake girlfriend for 7 days.

In present time, Kenji and Mina discover how to wake the sleeping beauty up from the magic needle. But when this finally happens, Kenji now has to deal with the realisation that the princess... was a gremlin.

Themes & Warnings (Chapter):

Warnings from the General Masterlist | Flashbacks | Racist Remarks (from Ken's high school) | Bit cliche (forgive 🙏) | Imagine old movie school romance vibes!!! | Fluff | Sexual Innuendos | Kenji Sato is in Denial | 9k words

Author Notes:

I had to cut Episode 3 to two parts because I kept wondering why I'm taking so long to write but then I scanned the chapter and realised I was going 11k and there was still a hefty chunk left from the outline 😭 It took a while to flesh everything out since I spent the past week also adding more details to the other chapters to deepen the flavours 🫴🤌 This is still fluff but the next part is where things start going on the jealous and angst start, the fairytale era bout to transition out!!!

I also found a really cool song that pairs with the theme of the high school memory, it's linked on the title! It's super fitting the vocals are amazing aghhjjr!!

The Legend of the Blue Sea: Masterlist

Episode 3.1: Maybe This Time ⇾ Episode 3.2: Fish on Land

Westwood Academy, otherwise known as Westwood University, situated in Los Angeles, is one of the many renowned schools along the state. It hosts preschool to elementary to high school up ‘til college. It's one of the major league schools but is typically known for its.. extravagant prices. Often, along with a list of other universities, they allow for student exchange programs for exceptional scholars, selected around the world, to tour the litter of schools’ labs, attend special classes, or participate in small collaborative projects. Most of it was to allow these one in a million group of children to choose between potential university options.

Of course, even though this prestigious academy offered a massive field for different types of sports and had a pretty amazing reputation for its academic endeavours, for a guy like Kenji Sato, he knew that in the future, he’ll be transferring to the University of Los Angeles, where most athletes start to get drafted into the Major League Baseball drafts.

But that’s not the reason why he’s bursting his way through the halls right now, no. 

Kenji’s running down the hallways because he stayed up too late last night trying to perfect his swing so he can finally get off the bench and play as one of their schools’ main batters. However, it definitely did not help that he spent the days prior studying for his exams too. And now, he slept through majority of his classes, waking up only to find out that in T-minus ten minutes, his Biology class will start, and he’s not too keen on facing the wrath of his teacher chastising him for that Plant Growth Experiment they’ve been rambling on and on about for the past three weeks.

“Out of the way!” Kenji dashes, jumping to avoid the group of students in the hall sitting.

“Sorry, in a rush—”

“Woah, watch those burgers, man.”

So far, he’s been barreling through the hallways great. It’s almost like his athletic instincts are on the high, the adrenaline pumping through his veins being the apt proof needed. 

Jump, duck, dash, side, shwuck!

Kenji can see it, the greenhouse! It’s so close— But the sudden options in his head turn from swerving left, or jumping, to… (a) Crash right into this person rolling out a whiteboard all of a sudden in the middle of the hall without even looking at any passersby, or (b) CRASH but in capital.

The next few seconds, safe to say, were unpleasant.

“Shit, shit, shit!!!” Kenji yells, unable to stop his momentum, all but perfectly rams his face on to the rolling whiteboard.

Overcome with blaring pain on his forehead and nose, Kenji laid on the ground, chest uncomfortably resting on the similarly thrown down whiteboard who was unable to withstand his force. A myriad of groans and repeating ow’s overtook the once silent air. The sound of padding footsteps and a bleary voice soon adds on.

“Hey, are you okay?”

Kenji’s vision was blurry, still trying to adjust to his surroundings, eyes squinting and blinking as he realised that even his torso felt sore from the impact.

“Ugh…”

Suddenly, he feels gentle hands turning him over, pulling him away from the fallen board beneath him, albeit with some difficulty.

“God, you’re heavy.” He hears, moments before feeling his head plop down on pillowy skin.

Soon, his vision adjusts itself, enough so he can see the person holding him by the cheeks right now. And boy, when Kenji says he never felt like his anger dissipated so fast like a balloon deflating upon seeing your face, you best believe him. 

“I think you'll be forming a bruise right here,” You say, all furrowed brows as you turn his face side to side. 

“Oh no, your nose is bleeding now.”

Feeling your soft hold on him disappear, Kenji, all clad in his disarrayed highschool uniform, watches as you try to check your pockets for a handkerchief.

He watches you for a good minute or two trying to figure out where you placed your damned handkerchief, or so you say. Groaning as he picks himself back up, supporting his weight from the back, he distantly hears you say ah! Before he felt you practically shove the thing in his face.

“Here! To wipe your… blood.” You say awkwardly, the bell had rung a minute ago while Kenji thought it was just the ringing in his ears, the more desolate surroundings proved otherwise. He gracefully accepts your offer, lightly tapping the fabric on his nose that gladly did not crook from the impact. Still, it hurt.

You stood up to get the empty whiteboard back on its feet as Kenji stayed seated on the ground in the middle of the hallway that led to the greenhouse. There were no words spoken as both you and him got your bearings. 

At least I got a good excuse to miss Biology now. Kenji randomly thinks as he sighs.

But it isn’t until he hears distant footsteps and voices did his instincts rear in. In hindsight, there was probably no reason for him to have felt so nervous to get caught or anything, it’s not like his nose bleed was fake to not garner a visit to the infirmary. Even so, he felt nervous to get caught. Enough to haphazardly drag you inside the room you came in, bringing the whiteboard along before the door slammed closed. Getting into trouble was not in his to-do list today, not after almost getting into a fight with a basketball player last week.

Your handkerchief was lying on the floor, the surprisingly soft hands of the boy you just met were muffling your surprised yelps with his palm, the other hand shushing you, his pointer finger pressing to his own lips. When the voices come closer, Kenji finally realises that it wasn’t a teacher that was walking towards them. It was his first crush ever since he transferred in Los Angeles when he was 8.

“So, are you going to respond to Ken-Ken anytime soon, Ash?” A litter of giggles follow as Kenji felt the heat rising up to his ears from the embarrassing nickname.

“Stoppp, you know I have to be nice because I’m class rep.” Ashley whines, stomping her foot and stopping just in front of the door of the classroom where you and Kenji hid. The action made you and him duck to the floor, nervous to get caught.

“Have you seen his eyebags lately? He looks horrible! I can’t believe he even asked for my help with Chemistry earlier, seriously. Aren’t you supposed to be the smarter one?”

"I know, right? And what’s with his accent? It’s like, get over yourself. He tries too hard sometimes. That’s probably why he’s just benched in the baseball team." Her friend snickers.

"And don’t get me started on his lunches. So gross!" Another one pipes in. “He eats raw fish and even eggs sometimes. Eugh…” She lurches.

Kenji hears a sigh, before the familiar voice of Ashley cuts through her friends. “Anyway, let’s go finish fetching the plants,”

“Didn’t Ken-Ken forget his project?”

“Talk about going against his nature, haha.”

The whole conversation made his shoulders and hands drop once their footsteps disappear. His demeanour immediately went from running through the halls to lying on the floor, and this time, it’s not because of a rolling whiteboard. Kenji sighs as he sits back on the floor, hands behind him as he looked up, the classroom was relatively dark, it was one of the extras, after all. His eyes close as he breathes in heavily, contemplating; ignoring the continuous trickle of red down his chin.

You, on the other hand, were perplexed. But seeing the situation, you can guess at least that much. After all, you were entering college at the ripe age of fifteen. In a tongue that Kenji hadn’t heard in a long time aside from phrases from his mom, you spoke. Quietly. Afraid to topple the fragile pieces that was the boy you just met.

“Was that you they were talking about?” You get the forgotten handkerchief on the floor, dried blood on some parts as you try to pat the dust away.

Kenji’s eyes open. And they meet yours. Worried yet curious, shimmering orbs, and gentle delicate hands that dabbed on his nose.

“Yeah.” He replies meekly, forgoing the language his peers spoke in, now matching yours. He didn't miss a beat in his language class, and his mom would definitely chastise him if he didn't know how to speak his mother tongue at all.

You give him a lopsided smile. “It would have been really awkward if you didn’t speak Japanese.”

Kenji chuckles at this. “Had doubts? What, not Japanese enough for you?”

You hum. “Does it matter? Being enough of one or the other.”

“...Well, no..” 

Kenji huffs, laying on his back. “But it sure would make my life a hell of a lot easier.”

“Laying down isn’t good if you’re having a nose bleed.” You frown, about to reach down so you can pinch his nose. 

As Kenji rummages through his brain, talking about how love, even though it was only a minor crush, absolutely sucks; his mind runs over what you said. 

Nose bleed… 

Then like a lightbulb; a sudden, stupid idea pierces through his blinded teenage head as he grabs your wrist and sits upright.

“You gave me this nose bleed.” Kenji starts, pointing to said appendage. And you were about to apologise, but he continues far too fast. “So, you have to do something for me.”

“What? Isn’t my handkerchief and recommendation to go to the infirmary not enough?”

“Wasn’t the one hogging the middle of the hallway.”

“Well I wasn’t the one running in the hallway. Section 5.8 of your school’s student handbook said no running in the halls.”

“Your sch—” Kenji’s eyes drift down to see that you aren’t wearing the standard uniform for the academy. Instead, you were in civilians. “Ohhhh,”

“Hah, can’t believe an exchange scholar like me know more than a veteran.” 

“Never said I was a veteran.” Kenji shrugs. “And even if I was, what kind of normal person just rolls out a big whiteboard without looking outside?”

And just like that, it felt like there was some sort of.. mischievous jazz in the background, the words kept coming out, and out. Your arms and his start crossing, and you both inch closer and closer, with every retort.

“Have you ever heard of speed limits? You should stop dreaming about getting a driver’s licence at this point, Sir.”

“Getting this show on the road, huh? Well… ever heard of mid-lane hogging, Ma’am?”

“Oh? Did you just use an idiom literally? Cheesy.” You roll your eyes.

“Actually, that was a double entendre. I used it literally, and as intended. Too bad my ingenuity went over your head. Aren’t you supposed to be one of those exchange scholars? Did they get you mixed up with someone else?”

“I wish ingenuity was an antonym for genius right now.” You shake your head with a faux frown.

“Running out of fuel? ‘Cause that was pretty lame.” Kenji harrumphs, not noticing his nose bleed had stopped minutes ago. “Admit it. Your car crashed.”

“Is it my fault if your car crashed into mine?” 

“Flat tire.” 

Huh? 

What was he— your eyes follow his, and it stares from your chest, back to your eyes. Still confused, something Kenji is quickly able to notice, he repeats what he said with a smirk.

“I said… you’re a.. Flat. Tire.”

Realising where he was going, you felt blood boil up to your head as your hand begins to raise. “Ohoh! You monster! I’ll give you more than a nose bleed when I’m done with you—!”

“I’d be… flat-tered.” Kenji pipes up one more time. 

You were not flat! You were just… a late bloomer! That’s it! 

Unbeknownst to you, Kenji had no qualms with your chest at all, no. And you were definitely not lacking in that department. He just thought that it was a metaphor for someone being so damn… disagreeable. It wasn’t his fault that your shirt was pulling down and he spared but a minute glance.

In all honesty, both of you, stuck in that moment, forgot what you were arguing about in the first place. When your hand was about to land smack on his cheek, he grabs it and pulls you closer to him, a wide grin on his face.

“Come on, help a victim out. We’ll just be giving them… something else to talk about.”

~

You did not know why you’d agreed to this. 

But you did. 

“No, no. Absolutely not! Plus, I’m not even popular or something, what statement are you really making there?”

“Well… you’re really pretty.”

He was incredibly insistent, and you felt like you owed him even though you gave him your handkerchief because it had his blood on it. Definitely not because your brain fried when he casually called you pretty with such an earnest face, like arguing would not even make sense to him. You would’ve called him dumb, stupid, or… or something! If he wasn’t speaking so smoothly earlier. Clearly, he does his homework and then some.

At the time, while he decided to skip Biology to head to the clinic with you in tow, you got to know each other just a little bit. Your new.. friend, knew that you’ll be going back to Japan in a few days, so he had to be bold to really make his statement. The stakes were low, and the rewards, at least for Kenji, could be high; enough to save face and show everyone that he does not care about the squeaky class representative.

Kenji preferred to speak to you in Japanese so that only few, if not anyone, could really overhear what you two were talking about.

Eventually, you really had to go and promised to meet in front of the empty classroom where you two hid the morning next day, when your group would have to do some collaborative projects. 

And when you separate and return back… Imagine your group, mixed with different ethnicities, academic nukes as you would like to call them, sees you with no whiteboard in hand after being gone for almost an hour or two… embarrassing.

Even more so, when he comes to school the next day, not even waiting to go to your designated meeting location so he can hug you in the middle of their field, catching your group off guard. He’d talk to you and call you a slew of nicknames, most notably…

“Sweetheart! Got you some sandwiches that my mom made. Wanna go eat lunch together at the cafeteria?” Emphasis on the cafeteria, his thick brows wiggling at the word.

He’d hold your hand, and if there was free time for his practices and your little assigned activities, he’d be sitting next to you by the bleachers as you read through the material your temporary mentors recommended. He was sweaty, and he’d be gasping for air, but a wide grin was on his face as he told you he’d stolen so many bases this time. And that he’d hit a few good home runs, how he’ll definitely get a spot on the main team today, all before his coach would call him back with a loud, stern voice. 

“Sato!”

He’d leave, yes. But not before he gives you a kiss on the cheek before waving you off as he jogs backwards with a stupid grin.

“What’re you reading?” Kenji would ask. 

You’d look up from the cafeteria table, and he’s leaning closer to you to try and get a read in.

“Advanced Robotics: Pioneering Techniques and Applications by Robert Callaghan.” You reply, not missing a beat in your reply.

Kenji would whistle and then proceed to sit beside you as he takes out his lunch. A bento box. 

“Want to do a lunch switch? I always wanted to do that.” He asks with puppy eyes matched with a big smile, hands clasped together as he pleaded. 

“And I loveee curry!” He adds on.

You notice that he was easy to change demeanours when it came to you. Whether it was because you were from Japan too, or because he knew you'd be leaving, allowing for him to continue acting how he wants to without any true repercussions— you.. would never know.

You smile before sighing out a sure after popping out a deal that he had to buy you ice cream after though, to which he hollers and fist bumps the air as you exchange boxes with an eager face. 

You’ll both be in sync when you pick the food with your chopsticks, sighing out a satisfied puff of air while both your cheeks were lathered with the comforting flavour of home.

He never asked for your number. But he’ll wait out of the lecture rooms you’d be in that day, saying he’s just asking the teachers around where the scholars were so he can rush over; offering to carry your bag and walk in step with you. 

All in the name of getting back at his ex-crush, of course. 

And every time he catches a glimpse of the angered look on his ex-crush, he attunes it to the blooming joy in his chest when he glances back at you, going on a rant about how no, they should have planned the encoding before building the robot. So now, we lost!

You’ll feel a ruffle on your head and a laugh from the taller boy beside you.

Then, you’ll arrive to the front gates. Kenji standing still as you say: “You don’t have to act here anymore, you know? I doubt anyone’s watching anymore.”

Kenji clears his throat, coughing a little, avoiding your gaze. “Well… You might get kidnapped for all I know. I won’t have a sweetheart by then, wouldn’t I?”

“Pfft.” You fail to conceal the bubbling laughter from your throat. 

“You’re cheesy as hell,” You tease back, taking your clasped hands away from his so you can lean sideways as you grin. “...sweetheart.” 

Kenji could barely get a stuttered reply out before the familiar black car that was from the exchange program drives you to your shared hotel with the other scholars and professors. That day, and the following would go by the same. With him simply giving a lame wave off before the escort drives you away.

All until you finally had to return to Japan; your last day. Like clockwork, however, even on your last day, Kenji would walk with you to the front gates. His steps slow every second, and you would mirror him, you’d go slower, and slower, and even more so; still, you arrive at the front doors.

When Kenji placed a heavy hand to open them, it revealed a slew of raindrops falling from the stormy sky.

“Ah, it wasn’t raining earlier.” Kenji notes. “Got to practise and everything…” He rubs the back of his neck.

“Really? Seems like it’s been going on a while.” You appraise quietly, Kenji only hums in reply.

Like the rain falling in the sky, there was a heavy downpour that neither of you could ever place in the meagre age of highschool, even if you were advancing to college much faster.

“So, you’re going back to Japan today?”

“Yup.” You awkwardly reply as you sway on your feet. Back and forth. “Still have to actually graduate high school before picking my college, you know?”

And it’s quiet again as you both try to think of what to say. It was only a week, and yet… Kenji had never had such a true friend since he moved to Los Angeles when he was a young kid.

“Well, if you wanna see me again, since I know you’ll miss me— oof.” You punch his chest lightly, making him puff out air, as you both eventually chuckle.

“Who says I’ll miss you? You just coerced me into getting chummy with you. Never again.” You huff, crossing your arms and raising your chin indignantly.

“All I’m saying is… if you pick a university close by, I’ll be at ULA soon. I’ll get into the Dodgers for sure.” He’s told you this in one of your many little conversations. The University of Los Angeles, home of the LA Dodgers and the Dodger Stadium.

You look at him and you share a genuine smile as the breeze from the rain sends a peculiar sparking chill down both your spines. 

“Sure. I’ll come visit when I’m nearby… hopefully.” You trail off.

Even with the laughter and the once more inevitable silence, there was always something on the tips of yours and Kenji’s tongue. Something to say, some things to ask. And yet, you ball on your feet and he thinks of letting go of your hand that he realises he was clasping too tightly in an embrace with his own fingers.

However, when the recurring black car arrives, you let go before he does, as you dashed through the rain. You turn back, and Kenji’s watching from the safety of the school entrance as you get drenched even though you try to put your bag over your head. 

You want to say something, anything. Yet all you could do is give a solemn wave and a smile.

He waves back and you turn away to jog closer to your ride back home, a few steps away from the gate, form stilling as you contemplate getting into the car.

You glance back, and he’s turned away, walking deeper into the school, probably so he won’t get wet. And your mouth opens, but it says nothing; calls out no one.

Your eyes flit to the black car; one last chance. 

You can’t help it. You want to tell him more. 

You want to tell him how you wish him luck on his career, maybe wish he could find better friends, find a better girl to crush on— and you turn back, one last time, words burning on the tip of your tongue. 

But it dies down when your vision meets a familiar uniform. 

Kenji’s chest, heaving, as you both get wet in the onslaught of the rain; his hand on your wrist, willing you to stop, as he opens and closes his mouth. The words were on the tip of his tongue; unknowingly mirroring each other in ways you barely had the time to think about after spending only seven days within each other’s presence.

But before you could even squeak out a word, you feel his bigger hands wrap around your now cold cheeks, and in no time… 

His warm, soft lips on yours. 

Your eyes close, following his tilted head as your hands reach up to hold the hands caressing and holding your face in place. It felt like a sun in the rain, unlike anything you’ve ever felt; and it distantly reminds you of an old childish memory back in the old playground in Odaiba before you and your brothers had to move away to your Aunt’s cafe.

It felt like an eternity of your inexperienced lips melding into each other, and suddenly all too fleeting when you finally pull apart. The honking of the horn from your driver finally takes you both out of your trance. The sudden shattering of the scenario made you glance back to the school entrance, where Kenji’s crush, the reason why you started all of this with him, was standing and watching; and suddenly, you feel your heart pull back the same way that you pulled your body away from him, lightly pushing his chest away.

“I’ll see you.” You whisper, a hint of sadness that Kenji picked up on too late; eyes trained on your similarly drenched figure rushing to the front seat of your escort. 

He was too dazed, trying to sculpt the image of his first kiss into his brain. That is, if he forgoes the girl who kissed him when he was seven.

“Good luck, Jiji! I’ll see you.” You wave with a forcibly mischievous tone, as if you didn’t feel anything from that kiss, you close the door to the black car whose engine was finally preparing to take off from the high school.

Kenji stands there, wordless, ears red not just from the kiss, but now from that… cute nickname.

“I’ll… see you.” He replies, raising his hand weakly, not caring if the rain still poured heavily on him.

It took a minute after the car left did he realise.. Wait, what was her name again?

“Wait. She knows my name. She knows my name—?” He must be the stupidest guy alive for not even asking anything about you… your number, or… or, or your damn name. 

Kenji grasps his hair, berating himself inside for his stupid decisions. Of course, you know! He never asked yours because he resorted to calling you those cheesy pet names. He didn't think it would matter. 

But then he kissed you and now, suddenly, he knows it matters so much.

 Fuck. 

Fuck! 

The car was already driving away, and— and Ashley, who seemingly came out of nowhere for Kenji Sato whose mind was only running with thoughts of you and his stupidity, was talking about something, something getting her jealous and she knows, and—

Kenji doesn’t get to hear the rest of her statement as he begins running into the rain, trying to not lose sight of the car where you sat. Neither you whose face was currently buried in your hands, willing yourself to forget of the meaningless kiss, nor the driver who was focusing on the road ahead, was able to see the boy trying to catch up as the engine simply revs faster along the empty road.

He borrowed a bicycle just laying on the sidewalk, the owner, who looked away for a second, yelling at him. 

“I’ll give it back, I promise!” Kenji yells as he tries to pedal through the storm like his life depended on it.

As he rides through the rain, he tries to yell after the car. “Wait, sweetheart, come back!”

“I didn’t do it because of her, I—” He heaves, losing his breath and feeling cold as the car goes faster, the rain falling heavier in turn; rumbles of thunder following suit. 

I didn’t kiss you because she was there. Was what he wanted to say.

Could we keep in touch? Was what he wanted to ask.

Please pick a university close by. Was what he wanted. Really, really wanted. From you.

Kenji pedals harder, his muscles burning as he pushes against the heavy downpour. He can see the car’s taillights glowing dimly in the distance. He’s gaining on it. Just a little more…

“Sweetheart!” He yells out, his voice barely audible over the roaring storm. For a moment, he thinks he sees the car slow down, as if you heard him. His heart leaps with hope. He pushes harder, the distance between him and the car shrinking.

But just as he gets within a few yards of the car, it speeds up again, the taillights growing fainter. Kenji’s legs are screaming in protest, his lungs burning from the effort. He’s so close, yet so far.

He reaches out a hand, as if he could touch the car, as if he could make you hear him. But the rain obscures his vision, and the car speeds away, disappearing into the distance.

Kenji finally stops running, the bicycle falling to the ground as he bends over, trying to catch his breath. He’s soaked to the bone, every part of him aching, but the worst pain is in his chest.

In the distance, the car disappeared from view, taking you along with it.

“Sweetheart…” he whispers to himself, feeling the sting of regret seeping into his being.

Even with all his developing athletic might, Kenji Sato, who was still barely entering the cusps of his future stardom, could not catch up to his first crush. Thoughts forever unvoiced  to the person that mattered enough for him when he was still a junior in high school.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

It was hard.

Kenji’s day would start at around 5 AM, and end… its end was dependent, really. He would feed the baby, research more about kaiju, study whatever form or strategy Coach Shimura would give, clean the baby's poop, entertain her, and generally stop her from lashing out. Then train and look stupid in this season's games because he wasn't getting some apt sleep. Sometimes it was paranoia that the baby would cry or need something, most of the time it's because the baby did cry and needed something.

Aside from his baseball, baby, and Ultraman responsibilities, there still was the unknown variable that was… well, you.

The half-kaiju human. 

The giant mermaid. 

You were silent a lot of the time, and often it would pass in Kenji's mind that you were either a ghost or a living fairytale. Maybe a witch cursed you and took away your voice, or maybe a witch cursed you and forced you to sleep for long periods of time. Because after you.. took that ice bath with him, you laid still in bed for the next two days.

Kenji would thank the damn heavens when you were awake, even for just a day before you slumbered for abnormal periods of time again. Whenever you were awake, the baby would be easier to tend to. Less hungry, more happy; she'll make grabby for you when you go down, and you’ll lay there, your head on the glass container as that familiar tune keeps the baby in a state of calm for the rest of the day. Often, you would forget to go back to the bedroom and Kenji would come home, sweaty from ball practice to see you asleep in the basement, the giant kaiju baby curled up where you were. Those were the days when you’d wake up when he wasn't home.

When you did wake up and he was home? Well, let's just say that Kenji… could never complain. He’ll get shit from his team and his Coach, but then he's home early that day and you just happen to be awake? You're bounding to him like a magnet on a metal pole. A warmth blanketing his chest, enough to let him sigh out his grievances for the day as he opens the front door and sees your happy face.

He may not understand what he's doing to make you feel overjoyed, but he'll take it. He’ll take it, like how he takes your simple pleas for a hug, like how he takes your face burying into his neck. And he’ll take your open arms, willing him to lay down in bed with you when all things are done, your hands combing through his hair as you coo the familiar sounds of the ocean in his ear. Maybe that's the reason why he’d always carry you back to his room when you fell asleep with Baby even though the guest room had been available for a while now.

“I have now gathered 3 weeks worth of data on the woman, Ken. Would you like the analysis?”

Ah.

Kenji grogs his way up from his bed, your arms back to laying limply, sliding down his naked torso; he preferred sleeping with no shirt on, and he would have been more embarrassed sleeping with a girl he didn't know if he wasn't sure that you were just.. an affectionate creature, person— still figuring that part out.

“Sure, go ahead, Mina.” He yawns, rubbing his eyes as he slouches on his mattress.

“Her last steady transformation into her kaiju form was the time when you took an ice bath with her. A significant difference in her injuries were found compared to her injuries the day before. However, it seemed to have slowed majorly since. Her body seems to prioritise external and surface-level injuries, however as is, she is having trouble truly healing her leg fractures in kaiju form. What I have gathered from my scans is that her severe tail fracture presents differently, or rather, not at all when she inevitably transforms back into her half-human self. She has attempted transformation a couple of times when in proximity of the baby, all of which only lasted less than 3 minutes.”

Kenji nods, taking it all in. However, he can't help but snort when the thought pops in his head. “So, what? I should take a bath with her again and see if that makes it better?”

The robot remains silent, and Kenji basks in the awkward bliss of forgetting that Mina is not exactly programmed to be the best buddy in terms of jokes landing.

“If you wish so, Ken.”

Kenji sputters at this, but he realises he might have been too loud as he looks back. Though futile, considering the information he just heard, you would probably be asleep for days even if he screamed all he wanted, considering your everlasting affection for him last night; the pattern was undeniable. The reminder of your comforting caresses sends an involuntary.. pleasurable shiver down his spine.

So Kenji, in turn, whisper-yells to Mina. “It was a joke!”

“Ha-ha.”

“I should tell dad to install a comedian chip in you.” He crosses his arms. “So? What should we do? We can't have her sleep forever. If we can get her up and going, raising the baby would be ten, no, a hundred times easier! Have you seen how much the baby likes her mama?”

“While she is not her biological mother, yes, I have observed the phenomenon. My theory is that she has connections with Gigantron prior.”

This makes Kenji perk up. “Really? How’d you know?”

“She has lingering scales and residue from the passed kaiju.”

“Wait..”

“No,” Mina immediately interjects. “I’ve discretely gotten samples from her tail when she transforms; quite easy to gather due to their wide difference in colour. I believe their relations are similar to the idea of companionship. They must have been friends. Especially considering Gigantron is oviparous and that they are both Female.”

Kenji lets out a sigh of relief that he didn't know he was holding. It was just.. an unpleasant thought. He didn't even see it as possible, considering your kaiju was a mermaid. But what did he know? That's why he was flipping textbook over textbook in hopes of understanding both you and the baby some more.

“On the course of that line of thinking, I am sure she's not taken, Ken. Rest assured. She, like Gigantron, seems to be the sole of her kind. And since she looks to be predominantly human, I doubt animals were attracted to her.”

“Okay, getting a little graphic here. I did not need to know any of that.” He shakes his head, putting his hand up towards the floating ball.

Today was a weekend, he just flunked his game again yesterday, and everything was going awful as it usually did. Until he went home and realised it was one of his lucky days. Slept like a baby last night, and today, he can sleep in because when you tuck the baby in, normal wake up time is moved. Plus, she won't fuss if Mina is to serve the school of fish for breakfast that day.

So now, as Kenji stretched his bare arms back, he looks to you and then back at Mina.

“So, how do we get her better?”

[...]

“I have deduced that water may be the primary factor in her physical healing process. Since she is waterborne, it could only be natural.” Mina explains, floating next to Kenji's shoulder as the man, dressed in only his sweats, carried you in his arms all the way to the tub in the bathroom this time.

“Alright, water makes her better.”

You, right now, kept to your iridescent appearance. However, your litter of scales and the webs between your fingers were disappearing. The only semblance left that Kenji would ever deem inhumane is how silky your skin was, much like your unusual hair, and eyes, if you opened them. His mind briefly flashes to when you got in the ice bath with him, when your features sheened a bit more natural than it usually was. A lot of questions lingered on Kenji's tongue.

“Remember when she healed me that night, Mina?”

The bot whirrs and affirms. “Yes. I remember your recount of it. Since I did not witness the act, I do not have much information. Perhaps her innate regenerative capabilities can be conducted. Did you notice anything strange at the time?”

Kenji thought hard. But who was he kidding? He went stupid the moment you dipped into the bath with him. He could've left but he didn't, not when you had him in this sort of.. chokehold. Finding himself wanting your affection, your acts of spoiling him, while he’ll have this forming desire to please you.

“...No.” He meekly replies, not really wanting to spare Mina any more details of the day; even though Kenji was sure that the AI knew he just melted into you that night the same way he would whenever you waked to coddle him and the baby… It just always seemed to work so well.

Kenji places you into the tub gently.

“Mina, one last thing before you handle the bath. Research more about my symptoms, tell me if you find anything, alright?”

“Yes, Ken.” Mina replies, allowing Kenji to walk out of the large bathroom as Mina undresses you from Kenji’s clothes, changed daily by the bot as well.

[...]

“I believe it is your body's natural response to avoid the physical pain you feel in your kaiju form.” Mina’s voice was slightly muffled by the closed door that led to the bathroom.

Kenji came barreling back in while preparing his special shake when he felt this inexplicable wrapping of panic in his chest. It's familiar, and he knows it's not his.

“Mina? What's going on?” His stern voice cuts through the whimpers and the soft cries in the bathroom.

“Ken.” Mina acknowledges his presence as his eyes dart to the tub.

You were about to transform to your kaiju. Slowly getting bigger. Kenji notices this, taking you away from the tub, as you slowly but surely developed your kaiju features with each whine from your lips.

“We gotta get her to the basement stat.” Kenji almost barks the order out, wide strides as he ran to the elevator.

“And the baby?”

“Baby will have to wait for a bit.” Kenji replies, tapping his foot as the elevator took him and Mina down. The pink kaiju still wrapped in her own self, dozing.

“Uhhh, water, right?” The elevator dings, and by now you were getting a little too big even for Kenji’s better strength. He doesn’t waste time transforming into his counterpart, allowing you to lay on his palms as you grew, and with your size, came your more prominent wounds.

“Open the water gates, Mina. And extend a platform around the window.”

By now, your tail was in full display and you size was enough for him to carry you in his arms while in Ultra. Your eyes still closed in pain as you let out soft, vulnerable cries. It grasps at Kenji’s heartstrings more than you’d ever know. Finally, Ken managed to get settled on the extended platform just on the other side of his wide underwater window, where the baby was slowly but surely rubbing her eyes awake.

“Mina, are you sure she’s okay?”

“She will become better when she is in water. It stimulates her natural DNA, she will heal faster there.” Mina assures.

Kenji nods slowly, eyes never leaving your forcefully closed ones. Your hands were clutching yours and his chest simultaneously. Looking closer across your scale-addled body, conveniently covering the swells of your breasts before lightly avoiding the area of your tummy, only to connect to your magnificent tail— that he notices only now, was bent in a slightly awkward shape. When he reaches out a hand to assess the damage, even the smallest touch made you jolt and open your eyes with downturned brows.

“Hi…” Kenji whispers. “Sorry… Uhm,” He never did call you much of anything, did he? So he blurts out the first thing that came to mind. “— Sweetheart. Did it hurt? Hm? It’s okay, you feel better here, right?”

Surprisingly, you nod, as if you understood him. The whimpers die down as you suck in a breath. Seems like you liked your little nickname.

“Good girl.” Kenji praises, and he feels that familiar blanket around his chest; joy. Oh, you liked that too? Could you actually understand? “Keep taking deep breaths, okay?”

Amidst the seawater where the island rocks and the school of fish would provide the blue atmosphere its renowned ambiance, you did something that actually did blow Kenji and quite possibly Mina’s, minds. 

“Thank you.” You’d said.

Kenji would look at you, his Ultra’s glowing eyesight mixing with the bioluminescent glow of the water, aquamarine and sky blue against the monochromatic shades of blue from the once undisturbed waters.

“Kenji.” You’ll add, not breaking eyesight against the Ultra who held you close to his chest.

The man in question was speechless. Your voice catching him off guard, he’d heard it in small hums and coos, and cries— but now, you’ve actually said something. He was still unable to speak, but the yawn of the baby and the familiar shrieks as her tubby hands banged on the glass container to face you and Kenji, begging to be part of the circle.

“It seems the baby has awoken. What would you like to do, Ken?”

You notice this, and peer off his shoulder to look the baby in the eye. She pouts and cries, and your hand moves to beckon her over.

“Baby, come.” You said simply.

“Open the container, Mina, and let her out.” Kenji instructs, finally broken out of his self-induced trance.

When the AI does as it was told, the tiny pink kaiju, tiny in comparison to her step-in parents that is— had begun its steps out into the water, Kenji almost yelps as he forgot that the added extension didn’t reach the gates. Baby who didn’t know how to swim yet, made Kenji inwardly panic when she sank for even a quarter of a second. All before she seemed to be wrapped in a bubble of water that made her float all the way to both you and him, with it popping so she landed in between the closed space of yours and Kenji’s torsos.

She squeaked happily.

It was almost what one could consider a picture-perfect family moment. And Mina was sure to capture the moment in question; if not but to send it to Professor Sato. Taking a vial of a sample from the now luminescent water was also one of Mina’s agendas, which she does discreetly.

“You can talk?” Kenji asks once you three got settled, with papa being the carrier of the brunt. He's deeply fascinated. 

“How?”

[...]

 Two weeks had passed since Kenji and Mina found out that you were able to understand and communicate because you were listening in to both him and the AI in your sleep or the few times you’ve been awake. Since then, the routine changed up once again, now that you were more frequently awake.

You still couldn’t do complicated schedules, but there were a mix of positive and negative setbacks, as all things are. The most positive side is that you’re there now for the baby, you’re eager to learn from Mina who’d play you educational videos or give you books to read after you relearnt your basic language, of course. And life seems to be doing slightly better for Kenji now that you were truly taking on the mom role.

“Well done, Sato.” His coach grunts, arms crossed. “Your plays suddenly got better this week. Whatever you're doing, don't mess up like last times.” 

Now, you might be wondering: Okay, so what's the downside?

Dishes cluttered as sounds of footsteps throttling wake Kenji up in the middle of the night. And if he hones his listening, sounds of a left-open TV show and some uncontrolled laughter was coming from the living room. He’d move his arm to pat the— you guessed it— empty space beside him. 

Of course you were still up.

When your hunger bout started the same day that you began taking regular rests in the seawater platform by the basement, Kenji taught you that there was food more delicious than Baby's diet. Which was raw, slimy, uncooked, alive fish.

So, he started you with the next best thing: Sushi.

“See? Better than raw— better than live fish, right? Mmmm~” Kenji watches as you take hold of a roll cautiously, looking at him with an unsure face.

You were so enamoured by the taste. So much so, it was endearing at first. He says at first because he didn't know he just unlocked a major foodie within you. You're morbidly curious, and you have an insane appetite. Mina had to work double-time to answer all your questions once you got started on your Language lessons.

Do these little… creatures— 

“Ants.” Kenji inserts for you.

“Do they have feelings? If I take away this grain of sugar, will they get angry? Sad?” Your way of speech was still… developing, clearly. You tended to speak more formally because of the educational material.

He wishes he can read your thoughts to that extent, but he’s stuck with… whatever you did right now. 

Sometimes, he’d feel when you were happy, most of the time it would be when he opens the front door; your bare feet pit-a-patting on the solid ground of his private home before you jump in his arms. He’d feel when you’re sad, whenever a favourite character from whatever TV show seems to get sick, or worse, die. 

Oh, he’d feel you sad, alright. 

He’d have to deal with it in bed when you’re wetting the pillowcases with your tears and small sobs. Rarely does he feel you getting mad. The only other time he can remember is when he brought the baby home with him the first time.

And all those little things. The distance doesn’t seem to matter, he’ll feel a distinct mirror of what you did permeate through his chest. He won’t know from what, but he’d be left to speculate whenever Coach Shimura scolding him, or his teammates were talking behind his back for his recently shitty performance. It was a nice distraction, and since, he notices, that your most common emotion seems to be happy, it lightens him up. Wait, what was he saying again?

Aside from that, scratch a good half of what he said— if you considered your massive amounts of food intake, there was the issue of you actually eating. It was a hefty job teaching you table manners and Kenji was running out of shirts.

“Minaaaa,” Kenji calls out with an exasperated tone, bounding into the living room, hair messy and body heavy with you clinging on to his form like a backpack while giggling.

“I am running out of clothes to wear. We need to get her,” He points to you and bite his finger lightly. “—her own things.”

“Of course, Ken.”

“And you,” He jumps, and your hold around his neck tightens, much like your legs around his torso. “Get off!”

It’s a minute of Kenji trying to get you to let go of him, with you eluding his touches to the side of your stomach that he recently found out you’ve grown ticklish to.

“Ohoh, you want to make this difficult, princess?”

“But I do not want to!!! Stop!! Stop— HAHAH— Noooooo!!!”

He managed to tackle you to the couch as your laughs and heaving wheezes filled the air; not noticing that he started laughing along, hands unyielding from trying to rub over the sides of your sensitive stomach. 

“Ken, I apologise for interrupting such a precious moment, but what in particular do you wish for me to order for her?”

Snapping out of his daze, he’s suddenly made aware of how he was leaning down on you; shirtless. You wore one of his dark blue long-sleeved shirts along with his boxers, shirt slightly riding up, the other slowly riding down in contrast. Your legs were loosely resting around his waist with you still looking up the ceiling while you tried to catch your breath. And when your eyes meet his, it feels like his heart jumped to his throat, his nerves getting the best of him made him immediately jump off the couch.

Kenji clears his throat, hand on his hip while turning away from you to respond to Mina who he dearly hopes does not make another comment about—

“Your temperature is rising. Shall we continue this discussion another time? You might develop a fever.”

“Aha, no, Mina.” He saves face. “I’m fine, I’m not sick. It’s just— it’s hot in here, isn’t it?”

“Sick? Fever?” You pipe up as you begin walking slowly towards Kenji who flinches as he senses your oncoming presence. “You are sick, Kenji? I have seen characters become sick on TV. Are you going to die? Kenji!?”

Your hands were gripping his shoulders so tightly with every word, your face scrunched in so much worry as if he had Stage 4 Cancer. You started shaking him haphazardly in your bouts.

“Answer me!”

“You are not allowed to die!”

“Come to the water with me. I must heal you. Immediately.”

Kenji, a little dazed from the back and forth of your earlier shaking, finally finds a reply when you determined that you can most likely heal him, moving to drag him to the bathroom; presumably back in the bath tub.

“I’m fine, I’m fine, sweetheart. Calm down.” Your tight grip on his hand reminds him of another fact that he and Mina has learned.

Somehow, you’re able to retain a semblance of your kaiju strength in half-human form. He finds this out in an instant when he tried to deny you ramyeon once when you were still prone to tantrums. Kenji hisses when you let go of his right wrist, his other quickly rubbing against the area on instinct.

“Oh no, did I… hurt you?” You say, timidly. A wild contrast from your earlier and regular demeanour. Another thing he noticed is that apart from you being extremely clingy with him, you.. oddly care for him; what he thinks, how he’s feeling.

Kenji sighs and pats your head right after. “No, princess, I’m all good. No bruises, see? It’s okay.” He reassures you, remembering that last time when you found out you injured him, you bawled and apologised for the whole night.

“I’m okay.” He pinches your cheek to get you to look at him, knowing that you’re beating yourself up in your head. If your sudden silence wasn’t enough of an indicator, he didn’t know what is. 

“Ah, Mina, so about her stuff…” Ken starts, looking back after sensing the presence of the AI bot silently hovering behind him. “Just get her whatever essentials you think she needs and might need.”

“Got it, Ken. As for her clothes, will we have a set budget? Preferred brands?”

“You kidding? Just buy anything. Whatever’s popular these days.” Kenji shrugs as he looks down at you who was trying to dissect their conversation. He’ll look down from his shirt to your bare feet.

“Shoes, sleepwear,” Kenji tries to list.

“How about her underwear, Ken?” Okay, at this point, the robot was probably teasing him.

Kenji sputters, feeling heat crawl up to his face again. Of course, why didn’t he think of that?

“I was just about to say it, Mina.” He sassily remarks.

“Any preferred design?” Okay, at this point, the robot was definitely teasing him.

“Shut up.” He spares you a glance and you simply looked clueless. Thank God.

When screeches started to emanate from the basement, all three of you perked up. But you suddenly cut them off. “Oh! Baby!” 

“I will go down.” You offered, not really giving them respite as you cheerfully jogged to the elevator.

This brings up another topic for both Kenji and Mina.

“Soon, we will be able to ask her about Kaiju Island.”

“Uhuh,”

“What are your thoughts about it, Ken?”

“I mean… it would be convenient to know the place. But even if we do, we can’t just leave the baby and her there alone. Without a mom, the baby would die.” And…

“Of course.” The bot responds with a tone that suggests she knew that Kenji wanted to say more.

“And we can’t just leave her in Kaiju Island now. It’s just— we haven’t found a case yet, and I’m still practising for baseball… you know?” 

We can deal with it off season, a hidden voice within a deep compartment in his brain says.

“I perfectly understand, Ken.” Still with that cheeky tone. For a robot, Mina can get quite expressive, much to Kenji’s dismay.

Kenji groans, ignoring the bot’s teasing while running a hand through his morning hair. 

“Have all her things delivered by tomorrow or as early as possible to the drop-off point so I can pick it up in my car after practice. And help her understand how some things work, I know she’ll be confused with… some stuff.”

The robot hums. “I have a suggestion as well, Ken. I believe if our goal is to help identify her and get her acclimated to human society, it would be best if she knew places outside of the house. And perhaps other people outside of—”

“Outside of me?” Kenji squints, crossing his arms. “What are you suggesting?”

“If you want to expand the possibility of her regaining her old memories by chance, if our theory is correct that she was a past human — based on the articles that dated first sighting of her three years ago— then it would be helpful if she is reminded of the society she grew up in. And she might develop her original traits more if she interacts with other people in a controlled , yet natural environment.”

Kenji remained silent. He knew Mina was right, but… “I don’t know… It’s still a little risky.”

However, it is true that Kenji feels a little bad now that he thinks about it. How you were also feeling indebted enough to take care of a baby that wasn’t your own, while he and Mina occasionally wrote notes and shared minute observations about you like you were a lab rat… 

“Okay, fine. I’ll take her to Roppongi once I’m free, she’ll probably love the food there. Lots of people.” He shrugs, walking backwards to his room as he faces the hovering bot.

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