#i need to see them make love passionately

[channelsurfinng]

｡･ﾟﾟ･𝗄𝗂𝗌𝗌𝗒 𝖿𝖺𝖼𝖾, 𝗄𝗂𝗌𝗌𝗒 𝖿𝖺𝖼𝖾, 𝗌𝖾𝗇𝗍 𝗍𝗈 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗉𝗁𝗈𝗇𝖾...･ﾟﾟ･｡

...𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗂'𝗆 𝗍𝗋𝗒𝗇𝗇𝖺 𝗄𝗂𝗌𝗌 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗅𝗂𝗉𝗌 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗅𝗌!

𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗋𝖺𝖼𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗌 ✧ 𝗑𝗂𝗅𝗈𝗇𝖾𝗇, 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗌𝖼𝖺, 𝗄𝗂𝗇𝗂𝖼𝗁, 𝗆𝖺𝗏𝗎𝗂𝗄𝖺, 𝗆𝗎𝖺𝗅𝖺𝗇𝗂, 𝗅𝗒𝗇𝖾𝗒, 𝗐𝗋𝗂𝗈𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗌𝗅𝖾𝗒, 𝗇𝖾𝗎𝗏𝗂𝗅𝗅𝖾𝗍𝗍𝖾, 𝖿𝗎𝗋𝗂𝗇𝖺, clorinde.

𝗄𝗂𝗌𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗁𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖼𝖺𝗇𝗇𝗈𝗇𝗌!

𝖽𝖾𝖺𝗋 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋𝗌... 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗑𝗂𝗅𝗈𝗇𝖾𝗇 𝗍𝖺𝗀 𝗂𝗌 𝗈𝗇𝗅𝗒 𝖻𝖾𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗉𝗈𝗌𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝗈𝗇 𝗈𝗇𝖼𝖾 𝗈𝗋 𝗍𝗐𝗂𝖼𝖾 𝖺 𝗆𝗈𝗇𝗍𝗁? 𝗈𝗄 𝗐𝖾𝗅𝗅 𝗂 𝗐𝖺𝗇𝗍 𝗍𝗈 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗇𝗀𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝖻𝖾𝖼𝖺𝗎𝗌𝖾 𝗂 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝗌𝗈 𝗌𝗈 𝗆𝗎𝖼𝗁 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗌𝖺𝗆𝖾 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝖺 𝖻𝗎𝗇𝖼𝗁 𝗈𝖿 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗌𝖾 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗋𝖺𝖼𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗌 𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝖺𝖻𝗈𝗏𝖾. 𝗂'𝗆 𝗉𝗋𝗈𝖻𝖺𝖻𝗅𝗒 𝗀𝗈𝗇𝗇𝖺 𝗉𝗈𝗌𝗍 𝖺 𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗉𝗅𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌 𝗍𝗈𝖽𝖺𝗒 𝖻𝖼 𝗂'𝗆 𝖿𝖾𝖾𝗅𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗆𝗈𝗍𝗂𝗏𝖺𝗍𝖾𝖽 + 𝗇𝖾𝗐 𝖻𝗅𝗈𝗀 𝗌𝗈 𝗂 𝗐𝖺𝗇𝗇𝖺 𝗄𝗂𝖼𝗄𝗌𝗍𝖺𝗋𝗍 𝗂𝗍 𝖺 𝖻𝗂𝗍.

𝗐𝖺𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌 ✧ 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾𝗌 𝖺 𝗅𝗈𝗍 𝗈𝖿 𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌 𝗈𝖿 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗆𝖺𝗄𝗂𝗇𝗀, 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗇𝗈 𝖽𝖾𝗌𝖼𝗋𝗂𝗉𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌 𝖻𝖾𝗌𝗂𝖽𝖾𝗌 𝗈𝗇 𝗐𝗋𝗂𝗈𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗌𝗅𝖾𝗒. 𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝗇𝗌𝖿𝗐, 𝗃𝗎𝗌𝗍 𝗌𝗎𝗀𝗀𝖾𝗌𝗍𝗂𝗏𝖾 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗉𝖺𝗋𝗍.

𝗑𝗈𝗑𝗈, 𝗅𝗂𝗅 ୨୧

she's a rather lazy kisser.

takes her time, but doesn't put a ton of passion into the kiss. she makes sure you know she means it, but just doesn't see the point of pulling away intensely gasping for air and all that stuff.

you normally receive her kisses during nap times. she loves to sleep, and so whenever you lay down with her, whether it's on the comfort of your shared bed or high up in the trees, she'll sloppily kiss your collarbones, neck, face, pretty much wherever she can reach.

she's a pretty good kisser overall, though. when she wants to be serious, they'll get a little bit more intense, but that's very rarely. really only when you're intensely making out, or even making love to one another.

passionate kisser! pretty much the exact opposite to xilonen.

she thinks of you as someone to be treasured, and she's very passionate about treating you as such. her kisses show you that almost perfectly.

a goodnight kiss and a good morning kiss is always in arrangement. she can't leave the house without them, and even if you're still asleep by the time she needs to leave, you'll still receive it. but there's no getting out of a goodnight kiss. she can't sleep without it, but she'll never admit it to you.

if she feels upset or angered by something, she'll immediately seek you for a kiss. no matter what you're doing, she'll take your face in her hands and kiss your lips. you never mind it. but it doesn't ever happen in public. she's not a fan of pda.

not as good as xilonen in terms of how she kisses, but she's passionate and sends her message through them. they do tend to get a bit sloppy during lovemaking, though...

his kisses are just a bunch of things all at once. sounds weird but do you know what i mean

he's stressed? he goes in for a kiss. he's happy? kiss. sleepy? kiss!

he doesn't do pda, but isn't like chasca as where she doesn't really want to initiate it. if he wants a kiss, he'll get a kiss. he might be teased to the deaths by ajaw, but oh well. he'll just swat him into timeout.

at first, he did not know how to kiss. like it was bad. lol. you kinda had to give him a little lesson because he's literally never kissed anybody before, and he wasn't ever just naturally good at it

but, with a little work, he learned, and he enjoys it very much! it's probably his favorite way of showing you he loves you, he thinks. he'd never put his lips on something he doesn't truly treasure, and you're the only one who gets it.

overall, not a bad kisser once you teach him. he knows the right and wrong times of when to initiate, and he knows your boundaries, and is careful to not overstep.

come home the kids miss you mavuika

she gives passionate, but not frequent kisses.

her job as the pyro archon takes a lot of strength and patience, coming from the both of you. she's stressed and tired, and you need to have the patience with her.

but she understands that you need attention and love too, and the caring part of her kicks in. and these moments are why kisses are so special.

they only happen when she realizes she's been potentially neglecting you too much. she could be away for days on end, but always expect a kiss and a long hug when she comes back, maybe as a little apology.

she's more of a hugger rather than a kisser. her hugs symbolize to you that she's there to protect you and that she loves you, but her kisses mean something even more than that. that's how you know that she really treasures you.

overall a good kisser when she wants to give kisses!!! though they're uncommon, they're long and passionate when they do happen. although, when you guys get it on (if you know what i mean winky face winky face) she kisses a lot more.

(hug hcs and maayyyyybbeeeee lovemaking hcs in a different post maybe perhaps perchance)

this girl is a KISSER!!!!!

she strikes me as the type of girl to kiss her girlfriends on the forehead or the cheek whenever they have to part. for example, kachina gets a little goodbye peck every time they need to separate (in a platonic way, obviously).

so when it comes down to you, you get even more!!!!!

her favorite thing after a long day of exploring with her friends is running into your shared home and jumping into your arms, kissing your face so many times you swore if she was wearing lipstick your face would be colored the shade she was wearing.

but she saves her real kisses all for you!!! the kisses she gives you aren't just little pecks, no, they're full on kisses. like, borderline making out, gasping-for-air kind of thing. she always giggles and kisses your nose right after before going back to what she was doing before (she finds it funny how you always look stunned and winded afterwards).

overall, the best kisses anybody could ever receive. someone get me a mualani. is this my sign to raise her from level 60?

this boy is such a tease his kisses are literally pretty much to tease you

see they can be serious and teasing. depending on the mood.

they'll be teasing when you're simply hanging around the house, maybe you're cooking or doing a chore while lyney's practicing magic. you could be hyper focused and he'll sneak up to you, silent like a cat, and just start showering you with kisses along your neck and shoulders. he earns a little swat on the shoulder for distracting you.

they'll be serious mostly when you're sad or he's jealous. if you're sad, his kisses will go from serious and passionate to his usual teasing pecks in attempt to cheer you up. it usually works, and he always ends up with a laughing s/o, just like he wants it.

but when he's jealous, woah. that's a whole different kind of thing. new side to lyney unlocked.

he'll come up to you and lock you in a kiss so passionate for so long you can barely breathe when he lets go of you, giving the person you were talking to a look before dragging you off. this will only happen if another man approaches you. he needs to show them who you really belong to, and what's a better way to do it than that?

overall, great kisser, but only really shows it during lovemaking or when he's jealous. he's skilled with his mouth, his hands, goodness, he's just the epitome of perfection!

hmmm i can't tell with him

sometimes he only has time for small little pecks, and other times he's got you on his lap in his office and kissing you until you pull away gasping for air. depends on his schedule tbh

on the days he is free, though, it's mostly just sex over simple kisses. he'll start with gentle, passionate kisses before moving down, and down, and down even lower, before more events start happening. idk he's a busy man people

but his little pecks are great too!!!! he needs to hurry out of his office sometimes and never fails to find you in your living quarters to give you a little kiss on the lips before leaving for the rest of the day, or maybe only about an hour. depends on the prisoner, depends on the severity of the situation, depends on a lot of things lowk

overall a good kisser. he just doesn't really have time to unleash his full potential (lol) but ya.

lowk same as wriothesley lol he doesn't have much time for really anything with relationships

but the difference is, instead of little pecks, he pulls you into a hug and truly kisses you goodbye. he may be away for longer times than wriothesley is, so he makes sure the impact lasts enough for the duration he's away.

he greets you the same way when he comes back, too. he never wants you to feel neglected, but his work occasionally has to come first.

and when you do feel neglected? ah, you may see it rain. he feels so bad, and watching you break down and tell him how you feel may make him shed a tear or two himself.

he uses gentle kisses along your neck and collarbones to get you to calm down, truly soaking in your complaints and doing his best to change his schedule just a bit...

overall an ok kisser. he just never has time to give them.

oh she loves kisses! but unfortunately she's too stubborn to admit it.

at first, something held her back from giving them. she didn't know why, you never knew why, but eventually she got more comfortable with it that she started giving them all the time!

she loves when you give them too! again, too stubborn to admit it, but she melts when you give her random kisses too (just avoid it in public, she'll get embarrassed, and how dare you embarrass lady furina!)

but in private , she's pretty much all over you! she wants to kiss you every single time that she sees you. she just finds you irresistible, okay? don't argue!

overall not the best kisser, but a fun kisser! never tell her that though, she might not appreciate it.

very dense. doesn't really understand the point of even kissing in the first place.

but she came to love it, that's for sure. and after a couple months, she'll start to warm up to initiating it.

her kisses are rather hesitant, as if she's doing it wrong. this is her first relationship, the first person to truly have her back. she almost feared messing up. but in your eyes, clorinde could never mess up.

she kisses you every night she's able to come home to you. but that's really all. kinda like mavuika, she expresses herself in other ways, but instead of hugging she uses her words and small gifts.

if you want more kisses, you gotta initiate. she doesn't mind it though! she secretly wants more, she's just nervous to ask

overall, not a great kisser, but she tries for you.

[writing-the-stars]

Unspoken, Unheard

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Reader; Platonic!Morgan x Reader

Summary: In the midst of a high-stakes case, you face the terrifying task of being bait for a dangerous unsub. As the mission spirals out of control, the unacknowledged bond between you and Hotch is tested, forcing him to confront the risks of letting his heart lead in a world where vulnerability could mean losing everything.

Warnings: Angst (It's Who I Am), Emotional Distance (On Hotch's End. Go Figure), Canon-Typical Violence, Body Injury (Very Minor), No Use of Y/N or Physical Descriptors, Happy Ending. Let Me Know If I Forgot Something

Word Count: 6.6k (This was a BEAST)

A/N: Happy New Year!!! This is my very first Criminal Minds fic EVER AND my first story of the new year!! I have been a fan of this show for such a looong time. So I'm really excited to be introducing this as a fandom I write for. I have been hyperfixating on Hotch for a while now (something about stoic, emotionally unavailable people really gets me). Anyway, this really was a labor of love and a passion project. Thank you all for reading! I truly hope you enjoy. Have a wonderful day!

Masterlist | Criminal Minds Masterlist

A sudden sharp, insistent knocking echoes through the quiet hotel room, jolting you from your restless sleep. Adrenaline surges through your veins, heart thrumming in your ears, as you instinctively reach for the weapon on your nightstand. Blinking against the fog of your interrupted sleep, your mind races, trying to make sense of what ripped you from your sleep.

You listen carefully, waiting to hear if there is anything that could give you context to your current situation. But the silence returns, as if it had never been broken. You approach the door cautiously, your fingers curling tightly around the handle of your gun. Pressing your eye to the peephole, you freeze when you see Hotch standing on the other side. Relief floods through you and you exhale shakily, but only for a moment as you come to the grim realization that there must be another victim. You set your weapon down, running a hand over your head as you prepare yourself for the bad news and a new case development.

But as you open the door, your rehearsed professionalism falters.

Hotch is far from the professional, composed self he presents to the world. His dark hair is unkempt, the gel that usually holds it perfectly in place seemingly forgotten. His v-neck shirt hangs loose around his clavicle, giving you a glimpse of his defined pectorals, and his pajama pants pool awkwardly at his feet, as if he didn’t pull them up all the way before reaching you. The typical mask of calm authority he wears is nowhere to be found as he stares at you with wide, haunted eyes, face pale and glistening with sweat.

There is clear tension in his posture, his breathing a little too shallow and his expression a little too tight. You’ve never seen your friend like this before. Something unnerved him and quite frankly it was starting to rattle you too. 

Hotch hadn’t really thought any of this through. The visceral image of your body disfigured and mutilated just like the victims of this case filled him with raw terror. He needed to see you.

He had to make sure you were safe. He needed to know that you were alive and still intact. To know that you will still look up at him with that wide-eyed gaze filled with so much trust and quiet adoration that it makes his guarded heart falter. To know that when a case is too heavy and you all are exhausted and frayed at the edges, you will still throw him one of those smiles— one that tells him you still believe in him, that you know he will get you all through it. That you are still his team. To know that he will still hear the warmth of your laughter around the bullpen, cutting through the darkest of days at the BAU because you just had that way about you. That quiet, effortless brightness that made the worst days bearable. And he knew it wasn't just the job you were good at; it was the way you kept everyone together.

Most of all, he needed to know that you would still be you. That this job hadn’t taken you away from him— that it hadn’t stolen one more thing he couldn’t bear to lose.

But as the seconds stretch on, the initial terror that gripped him so tightly begins to subside and his mind begins to regain control. The logical Hotch starts to take over, reminding him that everything is fine. That it was only a dream, an irrational fabrication, and he is not the kind of person to allow emotions to overrun his decisions. 

He’s being reckless and this moment of weakness could jeopardize the team, and everything he has worked so hard to build. He needs to turn and leave before this situation gets any more out of hand, but it’s too late. The lock clicks. The door swings open and there you are, alive and whole. His breath catches. He had feared the worst— no, not feared, he’d seen the worst in his nightmare— but you’re here, standing right in front of him. The sheer relief almost makes his knees buckle. 

“Hotch?” 

Your voice is soft but laced with concern, the sight of him so disheveled, so unguarded, sets off a ripple of panic in your chest, “What’s going on? Is everything okay?”

For a moment, he doesn’t answer. He stands there, staring at you as though he can’t believe you are standing in front of him. His mouth opens, but no words come out. His chest heaves with uneven breaths, and his eyes dart across your face, taking in every detail as though memorizing it.

“Hotch?” you repeat, your brows knitting together, “What’s wrong?”

He swallows hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing. When he finally speaks, his voice is low, almost hoarse, a shallow attempt at the calm, authoritative tone he usually uses. 

“I just… wanted to make sure you’re alright. We’ve been up late. Thought you might need to check in."

His words are careful, almost rehearsed, but you still hear the vulnerability he’s trying to mask. His eyes dart away from yours, down to the floor, and you can almost see him retreating into himself, as if he’s trying to hide from you. 

"Are you sure you’re okay?" you press a little, unable to ignore the worry curling in your chest. This isn’t just about the case. Something deeper is going on, and you aren’t going to disregard it. 

You step out a little into the hallway, bringing yourself closer to Hotch, trying to gauge if you’re reading him wrong. But this isn’t like him— Hotch wouldn’t show up at your door in the middle of the night without reason.

He looks as if he is barely holding himself together. You know him well enough to know when something is wrong, and in this moment, everything about him screams that he is on edge. It isn’t just exhaustion or stress— it’s something more that seems to be warring with him.

His lips press together in a tight line and you can see the muscles in his neck contract. "I’m fine," he says quickly, urgingly, as if he is trying to convince you and himself. 

The wall of his facade is fissuring and, for the first time since knowing Aaron Hotchner, you feel like he might finally let you in. You push a little harder, hoping that acknowledging the crack in his armor will finally shatter the whole illusion. 

“Hotch, you’re not fine,” you say softly, your voice almost a whisper, “Why don’t you come in for some coffee? I still have some of the good stuff Rossi bought me for Secret Santa.”

Hotch opens his mouth, but the words get tangled, and he immediately closes it again. His throat is tight, seemingly collapsing on itself. There are so many things he wants to say to you. Truths he wants to reveal, but he can’t. He can’t bring himself to venture into that unknown territory, to cross that line that’s already too blurry. There are too many things at stake, too many risks he can’t afford to take. He can not allow his feelings to complicate things any further. 

He takes a step back, and in doing so, you watch him fully retreat into himself, restructuring the wall you had come so close to tearing down. Perhaps you pushed too hard. 

He regains the professional composure you have grown accustomed to seeing. His usual authority slips into something sharp, more distant. "We’re on the job," he says, his voice harder, defensive, "There’s no time for that."

His words sting and you feel a pang of hurt as he continues to shut you out. But you remember who Hotch is. This isn’t about you. This is about him, about whatever had shaken him. Hotch has built walls higher than you can scale. Walls that even you—someone who knows him better than most—aren’t allowed to breach.

"Get some rest," he adds, the words flat and sterile, "We’ll need you ready tomorrow."

Your window for something more is closing, and you can’t bring yourself to stop it. You know what’s happening.

He’s scared. Scared of what? You don’t know, but you have a feeling that you’re the cause. Or at least a part of it.

“Good night, Hotch,” you resign, hoping to mask the disappointment of being kept at arm’s length. 

He gives you one last brief nod before he turns away, heading down the hallway with that same brisk, purposeful stride he always uses when he is trying to put distance between himself and whatever feelings are bothering him.

You stand there, the door half-open, watching him go. Your chest aches at the thought of what could have been. 

Closing the door softly and locking it behind you, you begin to process everything that unfolded. Questions pace your mind as you crawl back into bed. What just happened? What just really happened? The moment felt like a confession of sorts. An almost admission of something Hotch has been holding on to, but doesn’t want you to know. 

And maybe you just imagined it, but you feel like you saw a flicker of something in his eyes. An indication that the connection you have been feeling is not one-sided, a hint that you mean more to him than just a colleague, more than just a friend. You close your eyes, but the image of Hotch at your door stays with you, etched into the corners of your mind. An unanswered question you’re too afraid to ask. 

-*-

The local precinct hums with its usual activity— phones ringing, keyboards clicking, and the low murmur of officers exchanging updates on ongoing cases. Yet, the energy is tenser than the previous days of this case. 

Hotch’s behavior has been off all morning— sharply professional, overly focused on the case, and oddly reserved. It isn’t just his terse responses or the way he’s deliberately avoiding meeting your eyes— it’s the heaviness in the air every time you are in the same room. The warmth you usually share with him is gone and his quiet intensity has evolved into a coldness that has made you uncomfortable. 

An awkward distance has grown between the two of you and you can’t shake the feeling that it’s your fault. 

It hurts, but you try to brush it off. You know the job has a way of consuming him. You try to focus on the case, bury yourself in the details, but the weight of Hotch’s distance is becoming impossible to ignore. And you aren’t the only one to feel it. 

“Hey Sunshine,” Morgan approaches your work station, voice quieter than usual, “Everything good with you?” His tone carries a warmth that welcomingly contrasts with the chill you’ve been receiving from Hotch today. 

You look up at him, trying to mask your unease, but Morgan isn’t fooled. 

“You seem a little… off today,” he says, eyes scanning your face with that trademark perceptiveness, “What’s going on?”

You shift uncomfortably in your chair, glancing over at Hotch across the room. He’s engrossed in the case files, his posture stiff, his face unreadable. But you feel the weight of his distance press heavy on your shoulders.

“Nothing,” you tell him, trying to diminish the effect Hotch’s behavior is having on you, “Just… tired. The case is taking a lot out of me.”

Morgan doesn’t buy it for a second. “Uh-huh. And you didn’t notice Hotch getting all icy on you today?”

You still. You didn’t want to admit it, but it’s true. All of his standoffish behavior is directed at you. The distance, the sharper words, he’s isolating himself from you. And it doesn’t take a profiler like Morgan to see it.

You glance back at Hotch before returning your gaze to Morgan. He’s known Hotch for a while. Longer than you. If there is anyone you can gain insight from, it would be him. Lowering your voice, you confide in your teammate, “I don’t know, Derek… it’s like… he’s pulling away. Like something’s changed. I don’t know what happened last night, but whatever it is, it’s different. I can’t shake the feeling that I did something wrong.”

“What happened last night?”

“He came to my room.”

“Hotch?” He asks astonished, surprised by the uncharacteristic behavior. 

“Yeah, he said he wanted to check in with me, but… I don’t know, Derek, something was off. It was like he was hiding something from me.” 

Morgan leans in closer, his expression softening with sincerity. “You didn’t do anything wrong. Hotch is going through something. I’ve been around him long enough to know when he’s bottling things up.” 

You appreciate the comfort in Morgan’s words, even if they don’t entirely ease your concern. You just wish Hotch would open up to you. Let you be there for him and carry some of the weight of his burdens. 

Morgan sighs, seeing the crease still planted in your brow. “Look, he’s been carrying a lot of weight on his shoulders for a while now,” he states, voice turning more serious, “This job— it changes him. Sometimes it makes him pull away from the people he cares about the most, even if he doesn’t mean to. But I’ll talk to him, alright? I’m not gonna let him shut you out.”

You smile up at him, feeling some of the weight lift off of your shoulders.

“Don’t worry about it right now,” he continues, voice morphing into a more professional tone, “We’ve got a case to finish, and we need to focus. But after all this is done, you and I are gonna have a talk, alright?”

You nod, giving him a small, grateful smile, “Thanks, Derek.”

Soon after, the reality of the case takes over again. An officer charges in with a disturbing update: a new victim has been discovered. The pattern is clear, the unsub is escalating. The cooling-off period, which had been a crucial factor in the previous profile,  has shrunk dramatically, and you all are running out of time to prevent another murder. The urgency in the room is palpable. The team crowds around the whiteboard and, after analyzing the victims and the unsub’s pattern, you all come to a grim conclusion. You need someone who looks like the previous victims to bait the unsub into a trap.

There is an oppressive silence as the team’s eyes flick to you. The weight of their saddened, knowing gazes is almost unbearable. The fact that you share similar features with the victims of this case had not gone unnoticed by you. In fact, it was one of the first things you noted about the unsub’s victimology. It had been an unsettling realization. One you’d been working through for days, trying to figure out how it would affect your role in the investigation. Now you know. 

The air is heavy with the unspoken implication. You had expected this. It’s part of the job. But nothing can prepare you for the moment when the possibility becomes real. Your gaze flicks to Hotch, but he isn’t looking at you. His eyes are fixed on the board, on the files, on anything but you. He was desperate. Looking for an out, for a solution that did not involve putting you in harm’s way. 

“Hotch,” Morgan says, cutting through the silence, “We need someone who looks like the unsub’s previous victims. We don’t have time to waste.” 

He glances at you, eyes softening, then back to Hotch, sensing the unspoken hesitation. Hotch’s expression darkens. He looks between Morgan and you, his mouth set in a tight line. You can see the internal battle in his eyes—he wants to object, to find another way—but the case can't wait.

“Alright,” Hotch concedes stiffly, his voice potraying none of the inner turmoil he’s feeling, “We’ll set up the trap. We don’t have time for anything else.”

You close your eyes for a brief moment, pushing away the surge of panic that’s threatening to take hold of you. You know it’s the best strategy. It’s what has to be done, and you will do it. But you don’t have to like it.

“You good with this?” Morgan asks, his tone far more personal than professional. He wants to make sure you’re okay, wants to be sure you aren’t being pushed into something you aren’t ready for.

You give a small nod, more for your own sake than his. “I’m good,” you lie, voice steady even though your insides feel anything but.

After your confirmation the team is immediately on, discussing the logistics of setting up the trap. Your gaze flickers to Hotch once more, and for a moment, you think you see something shift in his eyes— something that isn’t just professional concern. It almost looks like he wants to say something more, but he doesn't. He just turns back to the board, his silence louder than any words he could have spoken.

His mind races, unable to focus on the task at hand. His thoughts are consumed with you— the thought of you being so close to danger. He can’t stand it. The very idea that you will be bait— the possibility of you being exposed to the unsub, potentially hurt— makes his insides twist with dread. But he can’t show it. Not now. Not when the mission is the priority.

He focuses on the details, assigning roles, making decisions. But every time his eyes shift to you, his stomach tightens. Bait. It’s a professional term, a necessary risk. But to him, it feels like a betrayal—one he couldn’t afford to confront.

-*-

You stand near the edge of the scene, trying to focus on the instructions being relayed through your comms. The humid, night air clings to your skin— another layer pressing on the building panic in your chest. You watch as your team slips seamlessly into their positions with practiced precision. You all have done this before, it isn’t unfamiliar territory; however, it’s different when it’s your life on the line.  

You’re the one baiting the unsub, alone, vulnerable. There’s no guarantee of your safety, no script to follow that ensures a happy ending. You’re putting yourself directly in harm’s way, and that knowledge frightens you more than you’d like to admit. You try to steady your breathing, but your heartbeat is louder than your thoughts. This is the moment when everything could go wrong, and that thought sets fear, real visceral and terrifying fear, the kind you’ve been pushing down for hours, alight in your bones. 

You feel him come up behind you, his presence heavy, solid and grounding. You feel the weight of his eyes on you. The tension from before charging the air around you. Up until now, his focus has solely been on the operation. You know he is just as worried as you are, maybe even more so, but his stoicism doesn't allow him to show it. You wonder if his concern is more focused on the mission going well or on the risk this poses to you. Regardless, he is a comforting presence, one you feel safe to confide in. 

“Hotch,” you murmur, almost too quietly for him to hear, turning to face the man who has grown so dear to your heart. 

He looks at you, expression unreadable, but his quiet intensity soothes some of your panic. 

“Are you sure about this? I- I don’t know if I can do this,” your voice shakes, highlighting the fear you’ve been holding back all night.

Hotch struggles to give you an answer. You are looking at him with those wide, trusting eyes, and all he can think about is last night— the image of you mutilated, the fact he couldn’t save you. 

The overwhelming need to protect you surges through him again. He can’t—he can’t let this happen. But he is the leader of this team, it is his duty to see this mission through. To bring this case to a close. He can’t allow his personal feelings to change anything, to interfere with this job. 

He forces his voice to remain steady, professional, “It’s the only way.”

You concede with a nod of your head. You don’t argue. You never do. But Hotch studies you, sees the slight tightening around your eyes, the sharp rise in your chest. It makes his heart ache. He feels the weight of this moment. Knows this is a critical point— not just for the case, but for you. He sees how hard you’re fighting to hold yourself together, and for a split second, the professional facade cracks. He takes a step closer.

“You’re not alone in this,” Hotch says, his voice low but steady. He reaches for your arm, gently squeezing the flesh there. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you. You’ve been trained for this. You can do this.”

His words settle over you, your heart rate slowing, and for the first time since this operation started, you can breathe again. 

“I won’t let anything happen to you,” he repeats urgingly, his voice low, protective. It’s a promise. His hand lingers for a moment longer than necessary before he pulls back, the weight of his words lingering in the air between you two. Hotch’s presence, the way he’s always steady, always calm—it gives you the strength you need.

"Alright," you whisper, your voice steadier now, "Alright, let's do this."

As the team readies themselves, you remain in place, trying to keep yourself from fidgeting. Adrenaline courses through your veins, but it’s not just fear— it’s the anticipation. The waiting. You’ve been taught by Prentiss how to manage these moments, how to keep your emotions in check and your senses sharp. You channel every lesson she taught you— stay calm, stay focused, keep breathing. You’ve studied the unsub’s patterns, and every part of you is ready to play your role.

You survey the area, locating your team’s positions. Morgan, Hotch, and Prentiss are stationed inside as backup, Rossi and Reid near the exits, and the remaining local officers are stationed discreetly around the perimeter. You look towards the nightclub, the neon lights, the rhythmic thrum of music faintly audible even from outside. Static crackles in your ear, and you hear Hotch’s voice, calm and steady, “All units are in position.”

The signal to proceed.

You take a deep breath, trying to control your shaking hands. You’re ready. You have to be ready. With one final glance around the perimeter, ensuring your team’s at your back, you steel yourself, stepping into the lion’s den. 

The pulsating beat of the music encapsulates you, the bass reverberating around your body. The flashing lights cast strobe-like shadows across the crowded room. It’s loud, chaotic, and full of life— but that only makes it more dangerous. The lights are meant to disorient and the noise to drown out your thoughts. You see how it is easy for the unsub to get away with his victims. 

You stand in the middle of it all, heart pounding in your chest as you pretend to enjoy the music, to be just another partygoer in the crowd. Prentiss’s voice crackles in your earpiece, barely audible over the music, “You need to relax. You look stiff.”

You nod to yourself, trying to ground yourself in the role. You watch the crowd around you, mimicking their movements. Glancing over your shoulder, you see Hotch standing across the club, blending into the shadows near the back of the bar, dark and brooding. He’s close— but not close enough. He can’t be. You can’t afford to look too conspicuous.

The rest of the indoors team is hiding in plain sight. Prentiss is near the restrooms and Morgan is in a corner booth. And Hotch is watching from the shadows. He’s waiting, calculating—but something in the way he’s watching you makes your heart rate spike.

You catch his eyes and everything feels different. The professional wall between you two starts to crumble. You feel yourself becoming looser under his watchful gaze and you dance. You dance for him, you dance as if you’re the only two people in the room. And Hotch can’t take his eyes off you. 

But then you feel it. A shift in the crowd. 

He’s not the tallest man in the room, but he has a presence that immediately commands attention. His gaze is cold, calculating, but there’s something oddly magnetic about him. He moves through the crowd with purpose, like he knows exactly what he’s looking for. His eyes flick over the people around him, assessing each one with the precision of a predator.

As he approaches you, you feel a rush of adrenaline, but you push it down. Emily’s training coming back to you. He stops in front of you, gaze flicking to your face, studying you for a beat longer than necessary.

He smiles— a dark, knowing smile. “I’ve been watching you,” he says, his voice a hair louder than the music, his tone carrying an eerie calm.

You force yourself to keep your composure. "Have you?" You raise an eyebrow, playing the part. The unsub takes a step closer, his eyes flickering down to your body, sizing you up. You know what he’s doing, know exactly how he’s visualizing your body and all the horrific things he’ll do it— just like the previous victims. It makes your skin crawl. 

“You’re not like the others,” he says, his voice lower, whispering in your ear, but thick with amusement. He’s toying with you.

You manage a small smile, “What makes you think that?” You tease, pretending to be at ease. 

His hand snakes up your body, eyes never leaving yours, “You’ve got a different look to you. You don’t belong here.”

The trail of his hand on your body sends a chill down your spine. He’s not being aggressive— yet —but the interaction feels like an invitation to a game. He’s testing the waters. 

“I belong where I want to belong,” you reply, lifting your chin up to appear more confident than you actually are.

He smiles, his eyes lighting up with something darker. “Maybe you do,” he says, voice quieter now, “Or maybe you're just pretending.”

You take a step back freeing yourself from his grasp, his imposing presence becoming overwhelming. The unsub’s smile falters just a fraction. A flicker of suspicion, quick but undeniable, passes over his face. 

You take a breath, keeping your face neutral, trying not to let anything slip. “We all pretend sometimes,” you answer smoothly, “What about you?”

For a moment, his eyes narrow, the two of you engaging in some kind of silent battle, each trying to read the other. He’s intrigued, but he hasn’t made up his mind about you yet.

“I’ve seen your type before,” the unsub says, taking a step closer to you, shortening the distance you previously implemented, “You’re always looking for something. People like you—”

You cut him off quickly, hoping to regain control of the situation. “People like me? And what exactly is that?”

He leans in a little closer, the hint of a smirk tugging at his lips. “The ones who can’t find meaning in their lives, so they run to places like this thinking they can find answers. They never do.”

You feel the hairs on the back of your neck stand up as his eyes move over you again, this time lingering on your eyes, like he’s searching for something in you— something real. But you know what he’s doing. He’s trying to find a weakness. A slip.

The air between you two grows heavier, and despite everything you’ve been trained to do, despite the calm that you’re trying so hard to project, you feel the pressure building. Your heartbeat picks up, but you push it down. You can’t let him see you panic.

“Well, I guess that depends on what you’re looking for,” you say, your voice more uncertain than you want it to be. You quickly mask the hesitation with another smile, but this time it doesn’t feel as convincing.

His eyes flicker— just for a moment— across your face. Something about the way you said that, the slight nervousness that edged into your voice— it’s enough to make him pause.

For just a split second, he looks confused, as though something doesn’t add up. His eyes narrow, and you see the shift in his demeanor. The playful curiosity turns into something more calculating.

“You don’t talk like them,” he murmurs, more to himself than to you. His voice is softer now, more contemplative. 

You feel your stomach flip, but you don’t flinch. Not yet.

“You have a very... observant eye,” you reply, forcing the words out with more confidence than you feel. You quickly change the subject, hoping to redirect his attention. “Why don’t we go somewhere quieter? I can show you just how different I really am.”

The unsub hesitates, his brow furrowing as he watches you a little too closely. He’s not sure what it is yet, but he’s starting to doubt that you’re just another unsuspecting person in the club. The air between you thickens, the tension building.

The unsub steps back slightly, eyes scanning you again, this time with deeper suspicion. It’s like a switch has been flipped— he knows something is off. 

“Sure,” he sneers, grabbing your arm roughly and jerking you forward. The action pulls you into his chest as his free hand comes up, producing a blade. The cold metal feels heavy as it presses against your throat— the sharp edge digging into your skin. You freeze, pulse pounding as your fear of this operation plays out before you. One quick jerk and your whole life is over in the middle of a second-rate night club. “What is this? Some kind of trap?” He demands angrily, pressing the knife harder. You can feel the tip against your skin, its sharp edge threatening to break the surface. Every small breath you take makes the blade press in deeper, but you don’t flinch. 

Hotch’s voice rings clear through your earpiece, sharp and commanding, “Move in. Now.”

The team springs into action, bursting from their scattered positions, guns drawn, closing in quickly. Chaos erupts as the crowd disperses from the growing conflict— a cacophony of panic and fear echoing around you, mirroring the terror gripping you inside. The moment the unsub sees them, his eyes widen in recognition, but his grip on you doesn’t loosen. He pulls you in front of him like a shield, his body tight against yours, the knife still pressed to your neck. Panic flickers in his eyes, and he becomes more desperate, realizing the window of escape is shrinking. 

“Stay back!” He shouts, his voice shaking with rage and fear, “One move and it’s over. You hear me?” His grip on the knife is trembling now. He’s scared, unhinged, not thinking clearly. You swallow, trying to stay composed. You’ve been trained for this, but the simulation is nothing compared to the real immediacy of danger. 

“Stay calm,” Hotch instructs, his gaze locked on you. His voice is sharp, but there’s a layer of raw tension there. He’s not just worried about you as a team member; he’s invested. This isn’t just another case— it’s you. He won’t let anything happen to you.

The unsub’s grip on you is relentless, and the weight of the knife against your throat is a constant reminder of how quickly this can turn deadly.

“Why don’t we just talk about this?” You manage to say, your voice steady despite the panic raging inside, “I can help you. We can work this out.” But the unsub isn’t listening. His eyes gleam with madness as he presses the knife harder against your throat. 

“You think I’m stupid?” His voice is low, guttural, “You think this is going to end well for me? For you?”

The tension is unbearable and you know it’s only a matter of time before he makes a move, one way or the other.

“You don’t have to do this,” you try again, voice trembling but steady. His grip on the knife shifts slightly, and you catch a glimpse of hesitation in his eyes. It’s a split second, but it’s enough for you to seize the opportunity. You feel the unsub shift slightly, his weight moving in such a way that it opens up just enough space for you to act. You shift your body weight quickly, slamming your elbows into his ribs. The move is sharp and sudden, and you feel him stumble back, losing his balance for a split second. His hold on you loosens, just enough for you to wrench free from his grasp.

In that split second, everything changes. 

“Now!” Hotch’s voice explodes. Prentiss and Morgan surge forward, moving swiftly, but not close enough. In a final desperate attempt to regain control, the unsub brings the knife up, swinging it wildly toward you. Your heart stops and you freeze, only for a moment, before instinct takes over and you dodge to the side. The blade grazes your cheek, cutting a shallow line across your skin. The sting is instant, but you don’t focus on the pain. 

With the unsub distracted by your move, Prentiss is the first to close in. She grabs his wrist, wrenching the knife away, while Morgan rushes in, tackling him to the ground. As the remainder of the team rushes forward, the unsub struggles, but he is no match for your team

As soon as the unsub is secured, Hotch is there, rushing towards you. He places a hand on your shoulder, his fingers lightly gripping you as though he needs to make sure you’re real. 

“Are you alright?” His voice is softer than it’s been all day, but is still tight with concern. You take a shallow breath, trying to steady your heartbeat. “I’m fine,” you answer, though your voice betrays you, a slight tremor you can not control, “Just some scratches.” 

Your fingers graze over the thin line of blood from the knife remaining on your neck, before landing on the shallow wound on your cheek where you swipe away some of the trickling blood. It’s nothing permanent, but the sting is sharp. Hotch’s gaze flicks between the small wounds, and his jaw tightens. 

“You did great,” his voice is low, but laced with something more. There’s a protectiveness in his eyes now that goes beyond the usual command, beyond the professional distance. Your heart is still racing from the close call, but something in the way he looks at you, something unspoken, makes you pause. It’s more than just concern. 

-*-

The case is over. The unsub is in custody, and the adrenaline has worn off, but the weight of the last few days— the close calls, the near-misses— lingers heavily in the air.

The team is scattered around the bullpen, tired but relieved. Some are gathering their things, others are engaged in quiet conversation. But Hotch, who is usually the first to bury himself in case notes and paperwork, is standing near the window of his office, his back to the room, staring out at the city lights in silence.

You’ve just finished checking your emails, last light on in the bullpen, and are about to leave when you notice Hotch still standing there, a silhouette against the dimming light. The intensity of his brooding is almost palpable and you can’t help but feel drawn to him. You approach his office slowly, your footsteps light on the floor, knowing that there’s something unresolved between you— something that needs to be addressed, even if the words seem impossible to say.

When you get to his door, he doesn’t turn to face you right away, but you can tell by the way his posture stiffens that he’s aware of your presence. After a beat, he speaks without looking at you.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” His voice is low, still carrying the edge of concern. There’s something in the way he asks that you’ve never heard before, a note of uncertainty beneath his usual command.

You stop a few feet away from him, feeling the familiar tension between you two. But this time, it's different— he's different. His usual reserve is slipping, and the emotional weight of the past days is leaving a crack in his armor.

“I’m fine,” you answer, and you mean it, even if there's more left unsaid. The cut on your cheek has been treated, and physically you’re fine.

His shoulders sag slightly, but he still doesn’t turn. He stands there for a long moment, lost in thought, before he finally speaks again, this time quieter, almost hesitant.

“I need you to know something,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper.

Turning slowly, he faces you now, his eyes intense, but there's a vulnerability in them that you’ve never seen before. The walls are down. There’s no hiding it anymore— he’s exposing himself in a way that feels foreign to both of you.

“I...” he begins, but stops. He takes a breath, trying to steady himself. “I... don’t know what I would’ve done if I had lost you tonight. I can’t— I can’t keep pretending that it doesn’t hurt to see you in danger.”

The words hang between you two, heavy and unspoken, as he tries to gather himself. You swallow hard at his words, and your heart flutters in your chest. It’s the first time he’s said something this personal, this raw. You can feel your pulse quicken as you wait for him to continue.

“I know we can’t do this... but I need you to know,” he continues, voice thick with emotion. “I care about you. I care about you more than I’ve let on. More than I should.”

You take a breath, feeling your own emotions rising in your chest. You’ve known for a long time that something was there between the two of you. The tension, the quiet moments of connection. You’ve always felt it, even if you were too afraid to acknowledge it.

“I do too, Hotch. I have for a while.”

His eyes soften at your admission. There’s a tenderness in them that makes your breath catch. He takes a step toward you, closing the distance, and you feel the warmth of his presence envelop you.

He reaches out, his hand resting gently on your arm, as if afraid you might vanish if he touches you too hard. You don’t pull away. Instead, you lean into it, letting the moment settle between you. This is uncharted territory for both of you, but it feels right.

“I don’t know what happens now,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper, “but I need you to know... I’m not going to let anything happen to you. Not again.”

You nod, your heart full of so many things— relief, fear, and the growing certainty that this moment is the beginning of something neither of you can ignore anymore.

“I’m not going anywhere,” you reply, voice steady, meeting his gaze with an honesty you’ve both kept locked away for far too long.

He looks at you for a long moment, the weight of everything you’ve both experienced together in those few words. And then, ever so slowly, he leans forward, just a fraction, and the air between you shifts. It’s not a declaration, not yet— but it’s a beginning. A slow, careful bridge being built from everything you’ve been through.

And at long last, the walls he’s built for so long have finally come down.

If you want to be a part of my taglist, please submit an ask specifying series, fandom, or all and I will happily add you!

[vampyastro]

✧𝕬𝖘𝖙𝖗𝖔 𝕺𝖇𝖘𝖊𝖗𝖛𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓𝖘✧

~𝖕𝖙 𝟜~

Things I say may not resonate with you as everyone’s birth chart is very different and impacts them in different ways. I am not a professional astrologer, these are just some observations I’ve made over the years dealing with different placements. Hope you enjoy!

✩ Gemini moons are full of contradictions! They tend to always contradict what they say because their minds can be so crowded and overwhelmed. They also like to learn many things and their tendency to overthink/the multiple different perspectives they see can lead them to change their minds often. However, this isn’t always a bad thing because it allows them to be very open minded and always willing to listen to others ideas.

✩ When a Scorpio mars gets mad, it can feel as though all hell might break loose. The anger these natives bottle up inside of them and eventually release can be very scary.

✩ Having Libra and Cancer placements can make natives the biggest people pleasers and it can be very distressing for them. Saying ‘no’ isn’t going to end the world and it won’t make people hate you, I promise. You are more than enough! Have a bit more confidence in yourself, people are very drawn to your loving nature and there is so much good in your heart. Don’t let yourself get taken advantage of when people try to prey on your weakness, you’re better than that.

✩ Leo Venus nativesmay love theater and art. They like to express themselves and they shine while doing so! Their passion is radiant and they have beautiful souls. They are capable of so much love and they channel that into their art.

✩ Cancer mars can be a difficult placement to have. They feel emotions very deeply and intensely. They have a tendency to be natural caregivers; very empathetic souls. This can cause them to be in fear of hurting other peoples feelings and have their emotions bottled up until one day it all pours out. This can be very cathartic for them but also distressing. Strong feelings of jealousy and yearning can be seen with this placement. To all the cancer mars out there, just know we appreciate how tender your nature is! Don’t be so scared of things, you will be fine! (Side note, cancer mars reminds me a lot of mitski songs)

✩ Pluto in the second house can have deep self esteem issues. They may place their worth on their possessions as they feel they aren’t enough and due to the transformation powers of this placement, their income may be unstable. This leads an internal struggle between trying to fulfill the soul and placing less worth on what they have around them.

✩ Prominent virgo placements can sometimes be super overbearing. These people may need to double check everything and have a hard time relaxing. They can struggle with anxiety and can have control issues. In turn this can also make the native unhealthily retreat into their own minds as an escape from what they feel is chaos. Virgos, you’re doing great. Sometimes it’s good to take a deep breath and live in the moment.

✩ Aquarius placements (especially Sun and Venus) as well as Cancer placements are very good gift givers. Aquarius placements always come up with creative ideas that the person receiving usually loves! On the other hand, cancer placements value sentimental gifts. They may look for something that will touch you emotionally or it may be something they would cherish if they were the one receiving the gift.

✩ Capricorn risings really like to take the initiative! They can be the one in group projects to assign everyone roles and make outlines for the group. They like to seem responsible and dependable and they very much are!

𝓣𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓴 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓲𝓷𝓰! *:･ﾟ✧

𝓗𝓪𝓹𝓹𝔂 𝓝𝓮𝔀 𝓨𝓮𝓪𝓻 ♡

[milkoomi]

₊˚⊹ ᰔ it-girl school tips ᝰ.ᐟ

a new semester is around the corner for a lot of us, and i’m seeing so many blog posts about study/school tips, and i thought i’d share a few of my own that i’ve began to implement into my own school routine that helped me succeed during the fall semester!

just to preface: i took 2, almost 3, gap years after my first year at a university. i realized i was so burnt out after high school and my mental health wasn’t where i needed it to be, so i took a very much needed break! i started back up in school earlier this year in the spring, and i am flourishing! i’ve reconnected with my love and passion for my education and i’ve eased myself back into a comfortable, but effective, routine that’s helped me succeed!

let’s begin !!

ᝰ.ᐟ find/create a good study environment

having a cozy, comfortable, and nice place to get your studying done will make your sessions so much more enjoyable! you’ll feel more motivated to get work done in a space that you feel good in! so whether it be your own space, your favorite café, or even your school’s library, having a good environment to focus on your schoolwork will increase your productivity and make you feel good about studying!

a darling mutual of mine created this post that has helpful tips on creating your desired study space - @glowettee ♡︎ i also highly recommend her page for other tips related to studying, personal growth, & just becoming that girl!

ᝰ.ᐟ make use of a planner

planners are essential in maintaining organization throughout the semester/school year! whether it’s a digital or physical planner, find one that’s appealing to you! find a planner that suits your aesthetic, or your desired aesthetic, and make good use of it. it’ll help you keep track of what days & times you have a certain class, important due dates, and planning out your homework schedule!

if you have a pretty plain planner, decorate it! use fun or aesthetically pleasing stickers and use fun colored pens & highlighters; just make it super personable to you!

ᝰ.ᐟ organize, organize, organize

make sure any and all paperwork for all of your courses are organized! i personally love using accordion folders because they have tabs that you can label for each class or each week of a class! having some kind of organization method will keep you and your schoolwork in check!

how to maintain organization:

as your semester progresses, it gets pretty easy to let your organization slip through the cracks and turn into a mess.

create an organized binder to store older papers from your courses! this will be useful when midterms or finals come around and you need to look back at old worksheets, handouts, etc. you can have a big binder that’s divided by different tabs dedicated to each class you’re taking or you can get different binders for each class and organize that way!

throw out anything that no longer serves you! amongst all the papers, notes, packets, there’s bound to be things that you will no longer need. toss them out, shred them, just get rid of them! the more papers you have stocked up in folders or binders, the less room you’ll have to keep track of the real important stuff

track each week of the semester! keep that syllabus handy so you can keep track of what’s going on for each week in your classes. when you reach the point of midterms, a long weekend, or even a break (like spring break) find some time to look at the past weeks & the weeks ahead and reorganize and just reset your organization of papers, notes, etc.

ᝰ.ᐟ create a checklist for your assignments

as your classes pile up, so will your homework, and it starts to get overwhelming when you start thinking about everything you have to complete for the week. creating a checklist for what needs to get done will allow you to prioritize the most important assignments, help you practice time management, and also feel satisfaction as you check off each assignment!

this helped me immensely throughout the semester. majority of my classes were 8 week courses, so everything was pretty fast paced and due dates came up a lot sooner than i thought. whenever i made a checklist for everything i needed to do, it eased a lot of my stress because i allowed myself to break down each class and the corresponding assignments & it made me realize that i didn’t have too much to do (or at least i tricked my brain into thinking that)

i made my checklist literally through my notes app on my phone, and it was so satisfying to add the little green checkmark emoji after each assignment!

ᝰ.ᐟ don’t be afraid to ask questions

any time i struggled in a class and i was too afraid/embarrassed to ask a question, i ended up doing poorly in that class and it made studying and completing assignments so much more challenging for me. so don’t be afraid to ask questions! your teachers/professors/instructors are there to help you! they’re there to answer any and all questions you might have! asking questions also just helps you understand the material better and get any clarification you might need!

the more questions you ask, the better informed you are, and the more likely you’ll succeed!

ᝰ.ᐟ use school supplies you love

having those aesthetically pleasing school supplies actually gave me so much more motivation to get work done! using stuff that you’re excited to use during your semester will make doing schoolwork & studying so much more enjoyable for you!

ᝰ.ᐟ set the mood for your study sessions

listen to a good study playlist, light a candle, set up some cozy lighting, grab your favorite drink, and just set a good, calming mood for yourself while you study! i love having lofi play softly in the background while i’m studying, and since i do most of my studying at home, i make the lighting in my room nice and dim and get my desk lamp set up. i’ll also have a cup of coffee, tea, or water near by that i can sip on!

ᝰ.ᐟ take breaks

burn-out is extremely real and you’ll quickly feel it when you spend majority of your time studying and giving yourself way less time to rest and relax.

for longer study sessions, take 20 min. breaks after each hour! i remember taking an english course when i first started college and one of the books we were required to read was one on studying tips! (i really wish i remembered what it was called, i unfortunately misplaced it) one of the things i remembered from that book was the 20 minute rule. this time slot allows you an ample amount of time to rest your mind and take a break! you can rest your eyes, scroll through your phone, stand up/stretch and grab a snack, or just step away from your study area for 20 minutes!

set a timer! let’s say you wanna work on homework for an hour & a half, set a timer and just do all the work that you can within that time. once your timer goes off, stop doing what you’re doing and set another timer with the same amount of time to go do something you enjoy or get yourself to relax!

i can’t stress this enough: please take breaks. your mental/emotional well-being should always be your top priority! you can’t do your best in school if you, yourself, are not doing the best.

𝜗𝜚 final notes 𝜗𝜚

being that girl in school is only possible when you put your best foot forward. stay on top of your self care, keep yourself organized, and come up with a routine! a good routine will get you great results!

i wish you all a great start of your upcoming semester and i know that every single one of you will flourish during it too!

live and love, babe.

sincerely, juno ⭑.ᐟ

[wetnoodle]

I don’t think I could hate silco.

Do I think he’s a good person? Are any of us truly good?

Does he do bad things? Yea but it’s at least in the name of the greater good. At least he doesn’t just do it because he can.

Zaun is a very fucked place with a very fucked system. He’s doing what he thinks needs to be done in order to at some point be able to rein it in and make it better.

He wanted to give Zaun a fighting chance against Piltover. He wanted to make them equal. And in a place where there are no rules. And people talk with violence. You’re going to have to make some very awful choices in order to not only take control, but have enough power to fix it.

He may not be a good man. But he’s a good father.

He’s not only present but active in Jinx’s life. He encourages her passions and creativity. He lets her decorate his things. And he obviously doesn’t mind. Cause they’re on display to anyone who comes into his office. And I’m sure if he was more stern or scary at getting her to stop, like we all know he is capable of being, then she would fear him too much to keep doing it.

He comforts her both emotionally and physically. She’s having a hard time and she seeks comfort in him. By hugging him or sitting with him. Or being held by him. And he talks her down. Tells her she’s allowed to make mistakes but it doesn’t make her the worst thing ever. That she’s enough. He reminds her that they’re family because he knows it’s the things she needs to hear. She was literally wanting to die and who did she see. Not someone to torment her. But her dad. Showing her what to do with herself.

He took in his best friends child even though they tried to kill him. And he loved her with everything he had. Even in his death he was still comforting her. Not angry she killed him. Just reassuring her that even now he loved her. He chose her.

He may not have been the one to change Zaun, but he’s raised the girl that could.

[catsushinyakajima]

KLANCE FIC RECS FOR THE NEW YEARS RECAP PART ONE

2024 has come to an end! Here are all of my fav fav Voltron fics and authors that I've interacted with throughout the year. I'm trying to make this list as diverse as possible so everyone can find some tropes they like but I PROMISE all these fics are worth a read. Listed in no particular order, we have:

fear no more the heat o' the sun by taromi | 28k | Canon-Divergent

This fic is an ASTOUNDING depiction of Keith's perspective on life and how Lance changes things up. Every scene between them added not only to their dynamic, but also to our vision of Keith. We see how he is and how things unfold so beautifully. The prose is beautiful and the scenes carry both fluff/emotion so well.

Silver Bells by heavily_caffeinated/@heavilycaffeinatedsblog | 86.3k | Christmas AU

I'm not one for much holiday cheer/hallmark-esque tropes, but caf's writing still managed to draw me in so much. I applaud Caf sincerely for their incredible diligence to upload a chapter everyday (totaling to 86k words in 25 days!!), and their enthusiasm to include everyone in it's creation. This fic is a pure show of passion, in both it's story and the creation of the story. I encourage you all to check out their other fics too.

late night talking (can’t get you off my mind) by ShatterinSeconds/@shatterinseconds | 5.8k | Werewolf!Keith

This fic is SO GOOD for touch starved Keith. It's short and sweet and you get both perspectives of their pining and feelings together. It's a really cute one shot, and I had trouble picking between this fic and other fics by the author so check those out too! Also @shatterinseconds is the goat for not only commenting on all my fics, but somehow always being in the comment section of every fic I read.

Hearts Don'/t Break Around Here by klancekorner | 135.5k | Roommates/Childhood Best Friends

This fic is a classic in the KL fandom but I still don't hear it talked about enough!! I don't usually like childhood best friends trope that much but this fic made me LOVE it!!! It also portrays Lance's anxiety and Keith's avoidance so so well and shows them growing up beautifully.

Cores of Diamond by speaks/@speakswords | 25.6k | Friends with Benefits

One time I lost this fic in my bookmarks and spent a whole day trying to find it. It's such a good depiction of the way KL don't always see eye to eye due to a lack of proper communication and bridging that gap between them. Has NSFW scenes!

Where the water meets the sky by speaks/@speakswords | 106.3k | Mer!Keith

I NEEDED to rec another speaks fic, this one is unfinished but it ends on a conclusive note. There's themes of growing up, living with changes, reunions, and also lots and lots of feelings.

got got got it bad by kairiolette | 10.3k | Post-War | Pining Keith

This one is also pretty popular. It's so so funny. And so real. Keith goes through the five stages of grief as he realizes he loves Lance and like. Of course he would do that. Really sweet.

so kiss me (kiss me kiss me kiss me) and tuesday's sweetheart (sunday's lover) by hearttpoem | 10k | roommates AU | getting together

This author writes the BEST modern/roommates AU. I love the way KL lives together in their fics and I love the way you can see different love languages in the fics. I was going back and forth between which fic to rec and I chose both these fics cuz I read them all the time!!

Where the apple falls by europa_report/@jupiters-junipers | 130k+ | post-war | comatose

No fic rec list is complete without this fic. This fic is genuinely one of my favorite KL fics, its not finished but I believe the author will finish it. The prose is beautiful and it is an entire emotional rollercoaster. You guys should definitely check this fic out

I've Said Too Much (You Promise I Can't Ever Say Enough) by negativefouriq | 1.8k | Autistic!Lance | Est Relationship

This fic is short, sweet, and such a good depiction of having so many thoughts and wanting to share them all and the anxieties of it. Keith's perspective and his reactions to Lance are very healing to read.

baby, i'll rock your world by AsterikaMay/ @catsushinyakajima | 9.5k | Christmas AU | Gift giving

I am putting one of my fics here lol because I did enjoy writing this one a lot! I keep writing fics about gift giving and pining...this must say something about me ahahah

Part two here

[solomonomenon]

skz expectations in 2025

⚠️ for entertainment purposes only *based on tarot

𝙗𝙖𝙣𝙜 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣

career: he's ready to break some rules. he wants to do things his own way and break out of anything that feels too strict or traditional. staying true to what he believes in is his priority, even if it means fighting for it.

love/sex: he's in full flirting mode and just wants to have fun without anything serious. he wants to test the limits of his charm and see how many women he can seduce.

𝙡𝙚𝙚 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬

career: he's still unsure about the direction he wants to take. this year, he's hoping for clarity as he explores his options, whether that's deciding on a music style or stepping into a new territory.

love/sex: he’s focused on work and himself. If he's in a relationship, it’s not looking good, as his priorities are elsewhere.

𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙗𝙞𝙣

career: collaboration is his focus, working with some of the producers he admires, featuring artists in his songs or maybe being a producer for other groups. he expects to work with a lot of people this year.

love/sex: he doesn't really looking for love. similar to lee know, this year he's focusing solely on himself. though he has a slight urge to challenge social norms, he’s still holding back.

𝙝𝙮𝙪𝙣𝙟𝙞𝙣

career: he needs things to slow down a little. he’s stepping back to rest, reflect, and recharge. he doesn't have anything big on his mind, he’s taking the time to figure out what he wants next.

love/sex: it’s time for stability. he’s seeking a grounded, practical relationship, leaving behind dreaminess and unrealistic expectations.

𝙝𝙖𝙣

career: he’s in exploration mode, experimenting, learning, and finding inspiration. creativity is his main focus as he sharpens his skills and tries out new ideas.

love/sex: everything is about here and now. if he's in a relationship, he doesn't care what will be in the distant future, he's only want to live in the moment. he's turning a blind eye to every differences they both possess and I think it's including gender and sexual orientation.

𝙛𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙭

career: he's focused on building his skills and laying the groundwork for his future. every choice is about practicality and stability. he's planting seeds and working toward long-term success.

love/sex: his focus is mainly on work so he's trying to find a nice balance between the two. he doesn't have much expectation on romance so his love life might not see much progress this year.

𝙨𝙚𝙪𝙣𝙜𝙢𝙞𝙣

career: he’s walking away from something that no longer makes him happy, a project, some work ethics, or maybe some music styles. he’s ready to move on and search for something more fulfilling. his goal is clear and he's making his way toward that.

love/sex: he just wants to fall so deeply in love that he can't escape it. he craves passion and emotional depth, where love and sex are perfectly in sync. it seems like he's had his share of purely physical sex this past year, and now he's longing for something genuinely meaningful.

𝙟𝙚𝙤𝙣𝙜𝙞𝙣

career: he's focusing on his emotions and learning how to manage them without letting them get in the way. he struggled with balance in the past, but this year, he aims to regain control so he can give his full effort at work.

love/sex: he hasn’t figured out what he truly needs yet. it’s all fun and games for now, with no deep or serious relationships in sight. he just wants to stay carefree and explore as much as possible.

─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ────── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───

[ponkydraws]

BBC Johnlock rant;

What? A rant on a show that was popular in 2014 tumblr in the year of 2025? Yes, I’m an autistic queer 16 year old with a passion for literature and art, what else would I get up to?

Here’s a couple things that have been itching at me and I feel like I need to scream into the void seeing if anyone will listen. Yes, this is Johnlock.

Spoilers ahead, obviously.

1. Sherlock’s attraction to Molly and Irene. Now, I see a lot of fans of the show under the impression that Sherlock is attracted to either Molly or Irene, and personally I think the show made it very clear that’s not what’s going on.

Molly - Sherlock possesses the ability to mimic romantic attraction at need (see Janine), although even in those cases he won’t go any further than kissing, i.e “waiting until marriage” despite being an atheist. Molly’s attraction to Sherlock is evident from their first encounter, Sherlock seems to be aware of said feelings but actively and purposefully refuses to acknowledge them. When Molly asks if he’d like coffee he simply takes advantage of the wording of the question to reject her proposal without directly addressing the actual question - “black, two sugars please”.

He tries to use Molly as a John substitute but finds that he cannot stop thinking about John anyway, and even in that situation he makes Molly appear more like John rather than keeping her acting like herself. In The Final Problem Sherlock is forced to make Molly say the words “I love you” or she (allegedly) blows up. This is a manipulation tactic of Eurus’, where she exploits her brother’s emotional attachments. But the challenge is meant to upset Molly - not Sherlock. Sherlock is distraught because despite having a different set of emotionality he doesn’t want to hurt his friend. He breaks her casket because he is upset he has hurt his friend. And despite having only 3 minutes to make her say “I love you”, he buffers for an unnecessary long time to actually say it himself. This is because he DOESN’T mean it.

He feels bad for having to reopen a wound of Molly’s because he is not telling her the truth, he is being forced to taunt her with a flicker of hope that’s not there.

Irene - this is just my own personal interpretation of their relationship so you don’t have to agree with me but I found it quite clear that Sherlock is not attracted to her romantically. He strives to impress her. He feels intimidated and fascinated, he’s so keen on their conversations because he has found an equal and he’s testing her intellect (and she’s doing the same to him). Irene uses seductive techniques to try to throw Sherlock off his rhythm, and successfully so. Except it appears that she’s using them for shock factor, not to actually seduce Sherlock. Again; throwing him off his rhythm. He is still objectively trying to deduce her and even says “if I wanted to look at naked women, I would borrow John’s laptop” implying that he doesn’t want to see her naked, but the situation is what it is.

There’s a clear difference between Sherlock’s reaction and John’s reaction to Irene being naked. John feels exposed and uncomfortable because he recognizes the situation as sexual. He immediately looks down, either out of embarrassment, shock or because he doesn’t want to be caught staring down a naked woman. Even when she directly addresses John, he seems to make a point to look her in the eyes. Sherlock, despite understanding the motive of her method, is still viewing her from an objective perspective. He is looking everywhere, not because of attraction, but because he is trying to understand what she’s doing. When trying to deduce her, he finds that he can’t find anything out - so he switches back to John and has no trouble deducing him at all.

Sherlock is not comfortable around Irene, but he is drawn to her intelligence. He feels a need to prove himself to a fellow genius, and to detect what she’s got in return. Even Irene points out how John and Sherlock supposedly are a couple, insisting she’s right even when John denies. Later in the show, John brings up Irene a couple of times in an attempt to peak Sherlock’s interest but it still seems like John is more interested in the relationship between Sherlock and Irene than Sherlock actually is.

All of these women acknowledge either Sherlock and John’s relationship or Sherlock’s lack thereof with them

“You look sad. You look sad when you think he can’t see you.” - Molly

“Somebody loves you” - Irene to Sherlock, and looks at John, “we’re not a couple” “yes you are” & “I’m not actually gay” “well I am. Look at us both.”

“I wish you weren’t…whatever it is you are.” - Janine to Sherlock

Even John’s girlfriends acknowledge how John prioritizes Sherlock over them, i.e “you’re a great boyfriend. Sherlock Holmes is a very lucky man. No, it’s heartwarming. You’ll do anything for him.”, “don’t make me compete with Sherlock Holmes” and even Mary taunts both John and Sherlock for their clear affection towards each other - “I don’t shave for Sherlock Holmes” & “see, neither of us were the first”

In conclusion, Sherlock can be manipulative when it favors him and he can mimic attraction if needed, but it is not genuine. In all of these cases, the care displayed for them was directly tied to a case, as to where the affection he displays towards John is unwavering and unaffected by whether or not there is a case. Why? Because he doesn’t view John as a tool, nor does John view him as one.

John makes a difference in Sherlock’s life because he is not getting anything out of him other than genuine human connection. He praises Sherlock when he’s impressed and scolds him when he does something wrong. Sherlock, who is clearly not used to being addressed as a regular person, is obviously surprised by this behavior as displayed in the first episode, i.e “fantastic..” “are you aware you’re doing that out loud?” “Sorry” “no it’s…fine..” & “that was…amazing” “really?” “Of course it was” “..that’s not what people usually say”

John treats him like a person, he doesn’t tiptoe around his intellect worried he’ll do something wrong, no, he grabs him by the collar and redirects him when he’s not acting properly. And John is the one to uncover his flaws. Sherlock prides himself on being this genius detective whose intelligence cannot be penetrated by the weak forces of emotions - but that’s not right. He’s very emotional. Both John and Mrs Hudson are aware of the fact that Sherlock is emotional, and acts emotionally. “Not Sherlock, no, he’s more…emotional, isn’t he?” - Mrs Hudson

What emotion does Sherlock display when John gets married to Mary or talks to his commander? Jealousy. He’s obviously distraught about the whole marriage thing, so much so that both John AND Mary are aware of it. When John meets his old commander, Sherlock seems skeptical of him and doesn’t like how John is acting around him. Mary says how “he’s the most unsociable man he’s ever met” to which Sherlock replies “HE’S the most unsociable man he’s ever met? Well that explains why he’s prancing around him like a puppy” which kind of implies that John finds himself drawn to unsociable people - and that Sherlock has actively noted that trait because he does it around him, too. He also leaves the wedding early, and like Molly says, he looks sad once John is not looking at him.

Another case of emotional behavior is when Moriarty tells Sherlock “I’ll burn the heart out of you” to which Sherlock replies “I’ve been reliably informed that I don’t have one”. Moriarty counters with this with “oh, we both know that’s not quite true.”

And what happens a few episodes later? John ends up in a bonfire. “I will burn the heart out of you” and then the show tries to burn John. Hm. This can also be tied to Sherlock’s previous statement of “funny how fire exposes our priorities”.

Moriarty is aware of how much John means to Sherlock and actively uses him as a tool to manipulate Sherlock. He tries to make Sherlock feel bad by telling him how many people will be upset by his death, but Sherlock does not react until John is mentioned. He tells Sherlock how his friends are in danger and Sherlock immediately goes “John!”.

In the final problem, Mycroft tries to manipulate Sherlock into making shooting him a lot easier, so he starts berating John. Not Sherlock. John. He tries to rile up Sherlock enough to get him to pull the trigger so he insults John in front of Sherlock. Sherlock recognizes the technique which means that he’s well aware that Mycroft is using his relationship with John in an attempt to manipulate him.

Romantic or not, Sherlock clearly loves and values John more than anything or anyone, even more than his own life. He would die if it meant John could live. I can easily write like 15 of these but I’ll start with this bite sized analysis. Thank you.

[mimisempai]

The angel you are

Summary

Aziraphale takes a reluctant Crowley for a walk in the snow, and Crowley is even more reluctant when he sees Aziraphale throwing himself into the snow to... make an angel. Worst of all, Aziraphale wants Crowley to do the same.

No way.

Unless there's more to this childish gesture.

Notes

Just... you know... them.

On Ao3

Rating G -  653 words

"Angel, remind me why we have to go out in this cold?"

It had snowed heavily into the night and the cottage and everything around it was covered in a thick white blanket.

Crowley pulled the red scarf tighter around his neck and shivered as the angel replied, "After spending the last few days feasting, we could both use a breath of fresh air. So stop grumbling and come walk with me. I promise you won't regret it."

Aziraphale held out his gloved hand to Crowley, who took it, but again made his displeasure kno

After only a few yards, they were in the middle of the orchard when Aziraphale suddenly stopped and exclaimed, letting go of Crowley's hand, "There! This is perfect."

"Perfect for... Angel! What's wrong with you?!"

Aziraphale had just let himself fall onto his back in the snow, flailing his arms and legs. 

Then the angel carefully got to his feet and, after brushing the snow from his clothes under the demon's stunned gaze, pointed to the ground and finally replied, "I made an angel."

Watching the shape of the angel in the snow, Crowley shook his head.

"What was going through your head?"

Instead of answering, Aziraphale nudged the demon lightly and said, "Now it's your turn."

Crowley shook his head vehemently.

"Out of the question. Nope. I will not lie down in the snow."

"For me?"

Crowley swallowed, because when Aziraphale took that tone and looked at him like that, with his eyes shining and his cheeks rosy with cold, he knew he couldn't resist. After thousands of years, he still couldn't.

Aziraphale stepped forward and planted a light kiss on his lips before continuing in the same tone, "Please, indulge me, my dear."

That was the coup de grâce, and with a sigh, Crowley dropped to the snow and, at the angel's urging, made the same movements he had just made.

Aziraphale then helped him to his feet, having dusted the snow off Crowley's clothes himself, took his hands in his own and kissed him before saying, with shining eyes, "Thank you."

"Can you tell me now why we had to do this?"

Aziraphale turned to the two angel shapes side by side on the snow and said quietly, "To show you."

"Show me what?"

Aziraphale released Crowley's hand and, removing his glove, raised his hand and placed it gently on the demon's cheek, caressing it tenderly with his thumb.

He said softly, "To show you that you're still an angel."

Crowley swallowed, his throat suddenly tightening, unable to respond as Aziraphale continued, "There is no need for white wings, for gold, for heaven."

The angel's hand slid from the demon's cheek to his chest.

"There you are, still the angel, the star maker who captured my heart in the middle of a starless sky."

Crowley placed his hand on Aziraphale's and asked, his voice slightly hoarse with emotion, "Why today?"

"Let's just say it was spontaneous and because I wanted you to be aware. That I know the angel that you are."

Crowley suddenly remembered.

The courtyard of Job's house.

"I know you."

"You do not know me."

"I know the angel you were." 

"The angel you knew is not me."

As if following his train of thought, Aziraphale continued.

"I don't like the idea of an angel I would have had in a memory of naive infatuation. I like the demon Crowley, who is still an angel at heart. I love the angel you are now."

Crowley, unable to find the words, let his body speak and, cupping the Angel's flushed face between his hands, kissed him passionately.

The kiss lasted until they had to pull away to catch their breath.  Aziraphale then wrapped his arms around the demon's waist, holding him close, and the two remained entwined for a few more moments, gazing into the snow at the reflection of their angelic silhouettes.

_________

Still not beta'd

Still not my native language

Still hoping you'll enjoy this story  🥰

Still thanking you for bearing with me 😝

South Downs cottage series : here

Ineffable fan fictions Masterpost : here

[thedisablednaturalist]

I dont know if it’s something youve been asked before, and i dont know how to really phrase my thoughts. But whats it like working in like environmental things well disabled? Have you met many, or any, other disabled people in the field? I’m 16, and ever since I was little I’ve had so much passion for environmental education in particular, and it was a field I wanted to go into for a long time. Sadly it seems like my body has other plans, I’m currently at a point where I might have to drop out of highschool because managing class and disability is too much, and so college feels impossible. And when it was mostly mental stuff I had thought about maybe joining americorps or something because it looked like they’ll take people with a ged and then I could still do work I care about, but I’ve only ever met one physically disabled person doing anything related to the environment and stuff (there’s a person with leg braces and a service dog who works at the local aquarium) so I never really get a chance to ask about this stuff

so idk, sorry if I’m rambling a lot and hard to understand. If it makes you feel any better I’ve cornered every environmental educator I’ve met the last year or so (and I go to a project based environmental charter school thing, so I meet a lot) and asked them a lot of questions too. Especially since my school encourages us to think about future careers and what skills we need

so idk, I want to know. What’s it like? Is it hard? What did you have to do to get the job you have now? Do you regret it, would you choose something different if you could go back? Do you have any advice?

I hope you’re having an ok day, and that I’m not too annoying, and thank you if you even took the time to read this far. -🌱

no no don't apologize, this is exactly what this blog is for. When I started my journey I couldn't find any outspoken disabled environmentalists or any resources for people like us. So I started this blog to compile resources and share what I've learned as my career has progressed. I want everyone regardless of physical or mental state to be able to pursue their passions in environmental science and conservation.

Honestly, this field has a long way to go still. Even big institutions like the Smithsonian haven't quite figured it out yet. But there is definitely a shift happening. I've been seeing so many more disabled young people interested in this field and its amazing. I saw another physically disabled student at the Smithsonian conservation biology institute when I visited as an alum a few weeks ago, and I believe I was one of if not the first person to attend as a wheelchair user (yeah they didn't know what to do with me 😮‍💨) I had a professor who directly singled me out for being a wheelchair user so you will unfortunately run into some bigots in this field.

However the federal government (im assuming you are in the US so apologies if you're not) especially during the Biden administration has been ramping up its hiring of Schedule A employees. Schedule A allows you to circumvent the competitive process through the WRP (workplace recruitment program) once you've graduated college (or GED). Schedule A can be provided by a doctor or disability counselor (My DARS office did mine, love DARS: it's free and every state has one). My manager is HOH as well as one of my new coworkers and I was of course recently hired by the EPA as well. The EPA is probably the most disability friendly place to work in our field, if not anywhere. It has its issues but I've been pretty much over-accommodated instead of under (sad I consider the minimum accommodations to feel excessive).

Here's some of the things I've learned so far:

1. My biggest advice to anyone your age wanting to get into this field is to volunteer volunteer volunteer!! You are most likely at a time where you can afford to work for free. Most environmental internships are unpaid unless you have prior experience with the organization. Try out a bunch of different experiences to find out what you like the most. I never would have thought I'd be a bug person until I did my first invertebrate stream assessment. I got into environmental science late in my college career so it took me a lot longer to figure out what I wanted to do. Get as much experience as you can while you are still supported by your parents and don't have to worry about things like rent or bills. Some organizations are trying to change this so people from lower incomes can still have the same opportunities, but it still has a ways to go. Notably zookeepers have to work either for free or for dirt cheap for a couple years before they get hired full time.

2. Be prepared to lose out on your dream job due to your disability(s). I'm going to be frank and not spout any of that "you can do anything you put your mind to" bullshit. Yes, most things CAN be done by anyone with the right accommodations, but in a field where a large percentage of the work is done physically, you will be unable to do some types of jobs. I'm not saying it's impossible to get your dream job with disabilities, but it's a very common experience for us. For example, I looked into working on a boat. In a perfect world, I'd be given limitless accommodations and time to rest but on a boat that is extremely difficult. You can't take sick days whenever you need them. This was the same thing I had to realize when I was offered my dream job in my dream location: A stream specialist field technician for the USGS in Portland Oregon. I absolutely loved working in the field, and yes there are many of us who do/did fieldwork using mobility aids. I miss fieldwork everyday. But I had to turn it down. I knew deep down I couldn't handle it, having scheduled in advance field excursions that I couldn't postpone, having to hike in difficult terrain in remote locations, even moving across the entire country, at least at the time, was improbable. I was barely holding on at my field job where I did have safety nets. I just couldn't justify the financial and physical strain as well as the risk if I wasn't able to do the job and became unemployed. It broke my heart to give it up and I'm still grieving. But I do enjoy my current job and it lets me prioritize my health. No longer do I just work and sleep because work would take up all my spoons. I've been drawing and gaming and spending more time with loved ones. It is an unfortunate fact of life that sometimes what we want isn't what we need. Being disabled means that sometimes we have to make hard decisions that abled people don't ever have to think about. It's part of the grieving process for those of us who were abled at some point. I can't speak on what it's like for those with lifelong disabilities from birth, but I know its hard for them too.

3. Ok yeah 2 was a huge bummer, but here's where it gets better: When one door with stairs closes, a door with a ramp opens. There will be other opportunities. This field isn't just fieldwork despite what most people think. You don't have to be a super strong ranger that can hike 20 miles in a day without breaking a sweat to do environmental work. The field needs people who take what the guys outside collect and analyze it, research it, visualize it, present on it, take care of it, write about it, archive it, make art of it, etc etc etc. There are so many organizations that need people who can do data analysis and administration. Working at a desk doesn't make you less of an environmentalist. Plus that's not all, you can work in a lab or work with smaller creatures like bugs or herps or fish or you could do botany or geology! You don't need to be able to go out and get them yourself to work with them. Being able to save energy during my workday allows me to pursue my passions like collecting bugs and swimming. I can volunteer with citizen science projects or conservation orgs and still do fieldwork, but because its not a job I can do it when I feel up to it, I don't have to push myself to keep going because I'm worried about being fired. I currently work as a data analyst for the EPA and I work mostly from home so I can do my work without suffering. Yea data analysis isn't my favorite thing in the world but your job doesn't have to be. Sometimes a job is something that makes you money so you can do your passions outside of it. But I am happy the work I do supports something I am passionate about (supporting states so they can clean up more sites and thus have cleaner water).

4. You'll have to learn how to advocate for yourself. Push against boundaries. Explore your options. Especially with doctors. You know yourself best, don't let anyone else define your boundaries for you, even me. If someone says you can't do something because of your disability, but you know that you actually can, tell them and be assertive about it. Many of us are seen as abrasive and rude, but to be a disabled person in a very abled centered world you gotta be. Don't let anyone hold you back because THEY feel uncomfortable. My coworkers at my old job were worried for me when I showed up to work with my crutches for the first time. But it actually made me BETTER at stream assessments (having four legs means you don't slip as much). I could do it even if I needed to take breaks and use mobility aids. Nowadays it's too much for me to be doing that but at the time it was within my limits. And sometimes, you'll overestimate yourself and end up flaring or hurting yourself. It's okay to make mistakes, it doesn't make you a bad person. At first you'll push through too much but as you learn your body's limits you'll get better at managing your disability. And sometimes a great memory is worth a week-long flare up. Its for YOU to decide what you can do.

That's all I can think of for now, I should probably get ready for bed soon. But just remember, there are more of us than they think and we can be capable, productive, and a benefit to the environmental movement no matter our ability or skills.

If you have anymore specific questions, or just need to talk, I'm always available (even if I might take a while to reply).

[king-sil44]

I’m tweaking out a little. I went with friends to see the Sonic 3 movie on release day. Was really good ofc. Went to see it a second time the other day with my best friend. Sorta fixating on movie Sonic content. Might even watch the Knuckles show (y’know despite the unnecessary amount of Wade I’ve been hearing about) because he’s my favorite version of Knuckles in the Sonic franchise.

But that’s not what I’m here to yap about.

What I wanna know is why aren’t more people hopping on the Knuxadow ship train? Like???

I’m usually not a big shipper of Knuckles and Shadow, more of Sonadow girlie. But in the movie universe?? Please people imma need y’all to start dropping fanart and fanfics of them before I start having to make it myself.

LIKE THINK ABOUT IT.

(Spoiler Warnings btw)

- Both watch the same soap opera, La Ultima Passion I think it’s called (Knuckles is watching it in an episode of the Knuckles series I think and Shads is getting into it in the movie while hangin with Stone in the Crab). I could totally imagine them watching it together and arguing over the plot lines.

- Both ride motorcycles.

- You can’t tell me Knuckles ain’t the type to fall head over heels for someone who can EASILY kick his ass. “What a woman😳” type vibes but it’s after Shadow rocks his shit.

- IMAGINE Sonic and Tails. Cuz Knuckles is their big brother. Can y’all just imagine them lowkey bullying him? The whole immature nine miles? Making barfing noises if they catch Knuckles and Shadow flirting (in their own way), making very obnoxious kissing noises when Knuckles is gushing about how powerful and strong of a warrior Shadow is. THEY WOULD.

- Also Shadow, not being experienced with romance feelings or a crush, would have no IDEA what he’s feeling. I think his “OH” moment would be while watching other people interact. Be it in a movie/show, seeing Sonic and Amy interact, or Tom and Maddie. A whole “So this is love?” vibe.

- Someone theorized that in the hypothetical Knuckles & Shadow series that Keanu and Edris had talked about, they would be working together to locate all the Chaos Emeralds after they got lost at the end of the movie. CUE TWO SUPER POWERED ALIEN DUDES GOING ON A ROAD TRIP TOGETHER. And I think THAT is when they would become friends and start to form feelings for each other. Chat does this count as forced proximity?

- And we mustn’t forget Tom and Maddie. Tom doing the typical “I don’t want this dude dating my kid” routine (in his case tho it’s fair. Shadow did try to destroy earth and almost killed him) and Maddie would be supportive and I KNOW she would pull out the “leave the door open” line. Iykyk hehehehehe. They would both be really supportive of Knuckles having a crush and I feel like Shadow would try his best to be kind to them for Knuckles. He would be awkward.

- It’s also worth noting that if the whole Black Arms thing does happen in the cinematic universe and it ends like in the Shadow game with Shadow basically killing all of them, Knuckles and Shadow would BOTH be living the “I’m the last of my kind” lives. Not to mention both of their species have MESSY histories. Like we know the Echidnas were not perfect, otherwise they wouldn’t have been at war for so long. And we KNOW that the Dark Arms are all lunatics. Boyfriends can bond over their family drama.

THATS ALL. For now. 👹

And I know we probably gonna get Rouge in the franchise at some point and Knuxouge will be canon I’m sure but like… can a dude dream? And ask for more people to share this dream?

HEAR ME OUT PEOPLE-

PLEASE HEAR ME OUT!!

[woozisguitar]

scoups and slut! by taylor swift please…

requests for 200 celebration post: open (but slow updates!)

warning: mentions of panic attacks, use of words like slut and whore, some shitty people, one very vague reference to sleeping together

Flamingo pink Sunrise Boulevard Clink, clink Being this young is art the pink evening sky glimmered over the high-end street of your apartment complex. when you first moved here, sunrise boulevard was a dream. now, the same streets feel fake with no real passion or life in them. being a young actress, with success kissing your feet from the very beginning, people often gave you unsolicited advice. be it about your acting roles or the stardom in general, they always treated your youth like a piece of art they wanted to have their name engraved on. ‘it’s a vicious town. they’ll eat you alive unless you learn to feast first,’ your old co-actress once told you, lighting her cigarette as you waited for the set to be ready. and now, standing in a crowd of people with flesh-colored glitter masks and coy smiles, clinking their champagne glasses with foes and friends alike, you understand what she meant.

Aquamarine Moonlit swimming pool What if all I need is you? when you saw him, the world seemed to stand still for a moment. there was something about him, something you knew you’d spend your whole life trying to decipher. maybe it was his eyes that sparkled under the moonlight, or the easygoing smile that made his beautiful dimples pop. you were never one to believe in love at first sight, not one to give into the fantasies you often starred in, but god, he made you want to believe in it. he was wearing black slacks, a white shirt with an apron, serving the people around you. you didn’t even see what he was serving, just taking one when he approached you and gave you the same damn smile. call it delusion, who cares, but you knew you had to know him. his name, what he liked, disliked, all of it. a thought popped in your mind, ‘what if all that was missing in this life was him?’

Got lovestruck, went straight to my head Got lovesick, all over my bed Love to think you'll never forget Handprints in wet cement

now, you weren’t exactly known for making good decisions. often listening to your heart more than your brain, your reputation preceded you. what you thought was love in the past had disguised itself as a snake in butterfly wings to bring you down. still, the heart wants what it wants. your brain, riding on the oxytocin high, or as the locals would call it, was ‘lovestruck,’ decided that it was a great idea to ask the host about the contact information of the catering service she used. making up a sad excuse of the staff’s lovely personality and great food, you flattered her enough to get the email and phone number from her. now with the name of the company, it was quite easy to track them down and find where they were located. luck seemed to be on your side because they had their employees listed on their webpage along with their photos. scrolling through the list of names, you found the picture of the same man you saw last night. next to his picture was his name, choi seungcheol, in bold. a small, reasonable part of your brain tried to convince you that this was a stupid idea, but you were too lovesick to care.

a quick email about seungcheol’s lovely service, followed by a subtle name-dropping and sweet-talking, ended with the company agreeing to meet you, bringing him along. sure, you had to drop the sudden house party notice on your team and the fact that you reached out to catering yourself, but you were far too deep in this to back out now. tomorrow you were going to meet seungcheol, and that’s all you cared about.

Adorned with smoke on my clothes Lovelorn and nobody knows Love thorns all over this rose I'll pay the price, you won't the next day, you found yourself sitting in a cafe reserved by your team, looking outside the window waiting for seungcheol and his manager to arrive. you tried to get seungcheol’s contact information from them but couldn’t—company policy or something. either way, the devil on your shoulder convinced you to hatch a plan to try and get seungcheol closer. you looked over at the faces of your team members and for a second felt bad because they had no idea that this was all a caprice to fulfill the desires of your lovelorn heart. the bell above the door rang, snapping you out of your thoughts. you saw him enter along with a man who looked like he was in his mid-forties. the manager introduced himself to you and your team, but you were too distracted by seungcheol to pay proper attention. clad in a simple white sweatshirt and blue jeans, this man looked more beautiful than any other celebrity or model you had met. your team went over the plans with his manager while you stole glances at the gorgeous man who stuck to the sidelines.

while your team was discussing the various options, you announced that you would order everyone something, asking seungcheol to accompany you to the counter, which made you earn a few confused glances from your team. ignoring them, you made your way to the counter, finally getting a moment of privacy with seungcheol. “hi, i’m yn,” you exchanged a smile. seungcheol’s lips quirked up in a teasing smile, “i think everyone here knows who you are, miss y/n.” “you don’t have to call me miss, just y/n is fine,” you mumbled, feeling your cheeks warm up in embarrassment. way to go y/n... “alright, just y/n. i’m seungcheol, it’s a pleasure to meet you,” he smiled, giving his order at the counter. you quickly followed his cue, giving the order for your team and made your way to the pickup counter with him by your side. the shy smile wouldn’t leave your face no matter how much you tried to fight it off. “so i’m guessing you will be in charge of catering at my house,” you said, looking up to see him already staring at you. “well, you specifically asked for me, so yes i will,” seungcheol replied, the stupid teasing smile not leaving his face. “right, so i was thinking wouldn’t it be easier for me to contact you if i had your number…?” you trailed off, looking at him with hopeful eyes. “shouldn’t your team contact me, y/n?” you flushed yet again at his teasing, trying to come up with a reply. seungcheol laughed and reached out, pointing at the device in your hand. you unlocked and gave it to him, watching as he opened a new contact page and filled in his details. “here you go,” he said, giving you your phone back. “by the way, you really suck at flirting,” he leaned back, taking his order and walking back to the team.

But if I'm all dressed up They might as well be looking at us And if they call me a slut You know it might be worth it for once And if I'm gonna be drunk Might as well be drunk in love the past two weeks or so had been eventful. you saw seungcheol every day at your residence, from tasting the various items off the set menu to deciding on the outfits for the staff, he was present for it all. the night when you first met, you spent hours debating whether to text him first or not. then around 11pm you decided to bite the bullet and sent him a small ‘hi, this is y/n’ text. his reply came quicker than you had anticipated, which read ‘hi, just y/n.’ you never knew a simple text would have you feeling so many butterflies. while your conversations were strictly professional, you couldn’t help but look forward to every notification from him. having seungcheol so close and around only resulted in your feelings increasing for him. when the day of your party arrived, you wore your prettiest dress, partially hoping for seungcheol to take notice. and boy, did he take notice, with his jaw slightly dropping as his eyes raked over your form. you took this moment to have a proper look at him too. dressed in dark gray dress pants, a white button-up, and maroon tie, seungcheol ditched his apron as the current stand-in manager. “done staring?” he asked, the same teasing smile gracing his face. “are you?” you flirted, terribly so, and pushed past him.

while the party was a success, you realised pretty late that the attendees took notice of you, in the wrong way. sure, you did have a reputation with dating, labels and names like ‘slut’ and ‘whore’ commonly gracing the headlines with your picture on the front page. you always decided to look past that, telling yourself it's just the media and this is the curse of success. but now, it felt a little ridiculous because it involved seungcheol. plus, it wasn’t like you kissed him in front of everyone. all you did was make conversation about the various foods and laughed at his joke or two. when your publicist told you about the article, your hands were itching to text seungcheol, asking him if he was alright. even after a warning of not contacting anyone, you decided to fuck it and text him, perhaps it might be worth being called names for once. nursing yourself to a bottle of wine, you were long passed out when your phone pinged with an ‘i’m fine but how are you? :(’ text.

Send the code, he's waiting there The sticks and stones they throw froze mid-air

you saw the text from seungcheol. texting back an ‘i’m alright, don’t worry,’ you decided that you might as well shoot your shot. it was now or never. you texted him a quick ‘hey, i have to confess something, do you think you can meet me today? my place?’ seungcheol’s reply came a second later, just a ‘yes, i’ll see you there,’ to which you replied with ‘dinner’s on me :)’

seungcheol arrived right on time and you let him in. “i ordered chinese. i didn’t know what your preference was, so i hope you like it,” you said, giving him a nervous smile. he smiled back reassuringly and said he loved chinese. you showed him your living room just as your food arrived. there, now sitting next to each other with chinese takeout in between the two of you, you decided it was the right time to confess to him. “so, i want to tell you something,” you started, and seungcheol put down his food, giving you his undivided attention. you took a deep breath and started, “i really like you, really, really like you, and i know it’s silly and stupid because we’ve barely known each other for two weeks, but i do. and i completely understand if you don’t like me, i get it, truly. this life and dating me comes with a lot of drawbacks and secrecy, so i understand if it’s too much. i just really had to let you know this,” you finished, feeling breathless from your rant. you looked up to see seungcheol smiling at you. he tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear. “i know. plus, if i didn’t want this, i wouldn’t be sitting here with you.” he simply leaned in to kiss the corner of your mouth.

Everyone wants him That was my crime The wrong place at the right time And I break down, then he's pullin' me in In a world of boys, he's a gentleman

the next few months were absolute bliss. seungcheol was everything and somehow more than you could’ve asked for. you found out that this catering business was actually his part-time job to help put himself through grad school. yet never once did he care about your status, money, or fame. whenever you were worried things might get too much for him, like when a new hate article was released, you were shipped with a co-actor, or whenever people recalled your past relationships having no idea about what went on behind closed doors, all seungcheol would do was hold you close and tell you that he didn’t care. all he wanted was you, just y/n, no one else, he would say, recalling your first conversation. then the news broke. someone spotted the two of you holding hands and walking in the dead of night. with no one in sight, you made the stupid mistake of not hiding yours or seungcheol’s face in public. when your pr team asked if you wanted to go public to simply make the public scrutiny easier, rather than them trying to pry into your life, you could confirm and ask them to back off. seungcheol’s opinion, when asked, was simply ‘whatever works best for y/n, i’ll be happy with it.’

the confirmation announcement had alright responses. not good, but not bad either. but the worst always happens behind closed doors. with seungcheol in the spotlight, every other actress in your vicinity wanted their hands on him. whether it be sliding into his dms or straight-up trespassing at his job, demanding him to be present with other staff members, trying to sink their claws into him somehow. one of your so-called friends invited you to a party and unbeknownst to you, hired seungcheol and his catering for the same. when you saw seungcheol along with the other staff members, she tried to make a spectacle of your boyfriend, trying to insult both you and seungcheol. she thought he would cave in and was doing you a favor by revealing his ‘true form,’ but when seungcheol saw your trembling hands, unshed tears, and shaking form—all signs of the impending panic attack he had become so well-versed in handling—he didn’t give a fuck about anyone or anything. he just held you close, in the middle of the now-quiet party, and whispered if you wanted to leave. when you nodded yes, he held your hand and walked you out of the door, leaving his apron by the patio. he held you close as you tried to even your breathing, humming softly under his breath to distract you from your thoughts. slowly drifting off in your car, you sent a small thank you to the fates for finally sending you a true gentleman.

Got lovestruck, went straight to my head Got lovesick, all over my bed Love to think you'll never forget We'll pay the price, I guess

the next day, the headlines went crazy. pictures of seungcheol embracing you in the middle of the party went viral everywhere, and that’s when you realized, he also made sure to shield you completely from all sides so none of the pictures showed your tearful, panic-stricken face. seungcheol had just sent a resignation to his job when you walked into your living room, eyes welling up with tears. seungcheol saw your phone in your hand, fearing another horrible headline. you, however, hastened over and buried your face in his chest, murmuring a small thank you. seungcheol buried his face in your hair, basking in the moment of quiet. when your pr team called to discuss how you wanted to handle this, you told them to announce your short hiatus, wanting a break from everyone and everything. both of you knew relationships, in this life, came with prices to pay and yet decided to jump in headfirst.

But if I'm all dressed up They might as well be looking at us If they call me a slut You know it might be worth it for once And if I'm gonna be drunk I might as well be drunk in love

seungcheol told you about his job the same evening you told him about your hiatus. “why don’t you move in with me?” you suggested, which surprised seungcheol. “what?” “yeah, i mean it makes sense. you’ll save up on rent, which means you don’t have to take another job, and i get to have you around so i don’t spiral whenever a new article pops up. it’s a win for both of us.” seungcheol hesitated for a second, as much as he loved being with you, he felt like he was taking advantage. when he voiced his concerns, you absolved them by reminding him how much you wanted this and how having him around would be more of a favor you’re doing for yourself than him. slowly, seungcheol moved in and notified his landlord, officially taking his place in your home.

Half asleep Taking your time In the tangerine, neon light This is luxury You're not saying you're in love with me But you're going to

with seungcheol moving in, mornings definitely had its perks. the soft tangerine orange glow of sunrise slowly gracing his sleepy features while he cuddled himself closer to you was a view you would not be able to forget even in death. on his off days, you would spend late mornings in bed, slowly waking each other up with kisses, and you realised no comfort in the world would compare to this luxury. the same bed seungcheol unravels and puts you together every night was witness to the first time he murmured that he loved you. a kiss on your forehead every morning, and you knew you were irrevocably in love with him too.

Half awake Taking your chance It's a big mistake I said it might blow up in your pretty face I'm not saying do it anyway But you're going to

but your days weren’t all in blissful warmth. sometimes, your insecurities would get the best of you, and you’d ask him if all this was a big mistake and if you were really worth taking such a big chance. “this could blow up in your face, seungcheol!” you yelled after a long and difficult night of overthinking and doubting. “so be it,” was all he said, and the sheer determination in his eyes made you realize he would never leave you, no matter how hard it got.

And if they call me a slut You know it might be worth it for once And if I'm gonna be drunk Might as well be drunk in love

five months later, you decided to go back to the industry. by now, time had played its part and the general public was on your side. you steered clear of places and gatherings you knew would only cause you harm, opting to spend the nights cuddled with beloved boyfriend. every time he gives you the same damn smile, you know it was all worth it again and again.

a/n: happy new year <3

[neyafromfrance95]

Um hello so I just saw Nosferatu and am losing my mind. I’ve been seeing the Haladriel comparisons but wasn’t really taking it seriously, HOWEVER insane that Ellen literally calls Orlok “you DECEIVER” (!!!!) + goes on about how she abhors him, he’s the bane of her life etc. etc. while almost making out with him lmao… And the way he angrily accuses HER of “afflicting” HIM… delicious. TROP s3 need to take cues from this for future Haladriel interactions for real (including the getting freaky with it part imo, but I will settle for a kiss in the context of Galadriel distracting Sauron from his own nefarious plots — which would be a pure and noble sacrifice on her part no doubt…)

FR FR !!!

before i watched it, i knew i would love it as sauron x galadriel shipper, but i did not expect ellen and orlok's interaction to be giving saurondruel this much!!!

when ellen insists that she loves her husband and orlok says that still her passion is BOUND to him??? when she says she is repulsed by his darkness and he tells her that it's not him, it's her nature that's also dark??? her defeating the darkness with her light by actually accepting and facing it??? it all being a metaphor for her DESIRES, not only sexual desires but desires for more, for much more than she could ever have in the society that confined and humbled her??? and orlok being the only one she connects with bc he represents that part of her own self that is seen as dark by others? when the professor tells her that her "otherness" is special and in some other time she could have been a high priestess, basically telling her that what others see as the darkness is her power??? ellen being repulsed by orlok but still desiring him? orlok hungering for oneness with ellen? them having a mind-connection? the fact that ellen's desire awakes him, that he lives because of her??? ellen warning that he is coming but no one believing her until it's too late? orlok being obsessed with her hair? him wanting her to give in willingly???

this is galadriel/annatar au. thematically, at least, those are very similar dynamics, imo.

and yes, they should take notes for s3 bc it's easy to recreate smtng nosferatu-esque with haladriel. take away ellen saying that orlok took her as a lover and the kiss, their desire could easily be interpreted as "ambiguous" and metaphorical, so same can be done with sauron x galadriel, especially if their mind-bond is now straightened and sauron starts groping to see galadriel and galadriel starts struggling with her new powers!!!

[stuckinmymind22]

playlists | velvet connection

pair: portgas d. ace x afab reader (she/her)

modern au | multimedia | musician ace | more info on story

tags: drinking (reader participates), smoking, unhealthy amounts of alcohol consumption (drink responsibly)

mdni: please - look i can't tell you how to live your life but this isn't for you pls avoid thx

wc: 7.7k

excerpt:

"On stage he exudes charisma, it seems like he is in his element. Like much of the crowd, you are not immune to his charms, he’s almost entrancing up there. You’ve always found it attractive to see people so passionate about what they are doing, and it is clear that he is loving this. He is beaming. A smile like no other graces his face. He has the crowd wrapped around his finger and he knows it. ... You eventually allow your eyes to drift back to Ace, who catches them and sends you a wink. The simple action makes your heart flutter in a way that you know is problematic. Instead of showing the way he’s impacting you, you give him a short laugh in response. Even at a distance you can tell that his eyes light up as he smiles into the mic."

a/n: v excited to start this story, rn i'm not planning on it being much longer than 15 chapters but we will see how that goes when i wrote this i had just finished sabaody (had a breakdown) and idrfk who sabo is so idk why i included him but i did, if he's ooc pls ignore, thx

wc: 7.7k

important: reader works in live music there's a couple of technical terms that aren't crucial to know, like you can understand the story without knowing them but i wanted to include them

Tech rider = document saying what the artist is bringing and what equipment they need from the venue

In ear monitors/in ears = how a musician hears themselves while playing on stage, has noise cancellation (tbh i take some creative liberty with how they work)

just so you know half of this is how live music works (well more than half tbh) and the other half i made up source: i work in live events not in production though

song(s): they haven't really started playlists so no official song but this one kinda sets the vibe of what we got going

"I know you felt it that velvet connection" - Velvet Connection by Moody Joody

You walk into the old venue that you call work where you are a live sound engineer. The small place is barely staying open, relying on subsidies from being a historic site and sales of alcohol, but you love it anyways. You’ve been working here for the past two years and really enjoy both the job and your coworkers.

You were running a little late but you came bearing gifts, you stopped at a nearby coffee shop and grabbed some drinks. Ussop, the other live sound engineer, happily grabs his as he reads through the tech rider to see what you will need for the night’s show. You really should have looked it over before you got here. It is the first time in a while that you were going into a show blind, all you know is that it is a local act, beyond that you’re clueless. As soon as Usopp leaves the booth you spot a familiar head of red running your way.

“Why’re you here so early,” you question Nami, one of the venue’s bartenders, amused with how fast she dashed over to you. She pulls her drink out of the cup holder and thanks you.

“I had to come in for a delivery,” she answers dismissively before her entire demeanor shifts to excitement, “Anyways, are you excited for tonight?”

“...why would I be?” you ask with confusion.

“Don’t you know who’s playing tonight?” she looks disappointed and sighs when you shake your head no, “I can’t believe you don’t know. Tonight Luffy’s brother is playing.”

“That’s cool,” you say, unsure what to make of her enthusiasm.

“No, you don’t understand, Luffy is playing with him,” Nami says, brimming with joy. Luffy is an energetic coworker of yours who normally controls the lights, he’s also Usopp’s roommate. You love him but he isn’t exactly known for his musical talent, in fact it was quite the opposite, he quite literally cannot hold a note.

“Oh…wow,” you say, not sure how to feel about this information, “Let’s just hope he plays the drums, he can keep a beat but anything else… I’ll make sure it’s tuned really well. But maybe he’ll surprise us?”

“I mean I hope so, but Luffy?” she gets called back to the bar before she can finish her thought.

Suddenly interested in the act, you check the show’s schedule and see that their name is Ace and The Spades. You think that you’ve heard the name before but you aren’t entirely sure what their sound is. You’ll find out soon enough.

Looking through the tech rider for the night you see that they are bringing a lot of their own equipment, which shows that they’ve probably been performing for a while and also means that there isn’t too much for you to do until they get here. They should be arriving any moment, so there’s not much more you can do but wait to help them unload.

To your annoyance, the time that they were supposed to unload comes and goes, setting back your schedule. It’s nice to have that extra time padded in in case something goes wrong, but running late is also something going wrong you suppose. Before you can get truly irritated, Luffy comes bounding through the artist door carrying nearly an entire drum kit by himself, making him look like a pack mule. Honestly, it was so impressive you nearly missed the two other guys who came in with him.

“Sorry that we’re running late Y/N,” Luffy says when he sees you. You quickly move to help Luffy with the drums. “This one fell asleep,” he says, using his newly freed hand to point at the man in an orange cowboy hat, who promptly sets down a guitar case to hit Luffy on the head. 

“Ow, Ace, that was mean,” Luffy says, rubbing his skull. So this is his brother you think. There's no doubting that he’s attractive, with dark raven hair and freckles that dot his face. He is quite a bit taller than Luffy, but around the same height as the other guy, who you forgot about until now. 

“Well you’re here now,” you say with a smile, quickly helping Luffy with the kit. “I had no idea you were playing tonight, that’s so cool,” you say to your coworker who laughs happily in response.

“Isn’t it?” Luffy says cheerfully, putting the drums down on the stage, “Oh, before I forget this is Ace and Sabo,” he says pointing to the dark haired one and the blond respectively, “Ace, Sabo, this is Y/N, she’s on production.

 “I need to go make sure that the lights are programmed right and show Usopp how to use them.” Luffy calls the man in question over and they both disappear to the tech booth.

You start unpacking the drum set and when Ace approaches you, “You don’t have to do that, I can do it.”

“It is quite literally my job,” you say to him, trying to hide your annoyance, “it’ll take me twenty minutes max.”

“I know, I just feel bad for being late,” he says, scratching the back of his neck.

 “If you really want something to do, you bring those five mics over here,” you say pointing to the ones for the drums just off stage. He successfully brings four of them to you while you work on assembling the kit. 

“Fuck,” you hear in Ace’s direction following a crash. The mic stand is in two parts, the stand is knocked over on the floor and its arm Ace holds in his hand. You sigh and stand up, ready to fix it.

“That happens it's okay” you say walking to him. When you get there you take the arm from his hand and pick up the stand and attempt to reassemble it, but it isn’t working. You examine the parts only to realize that the stand is broken broken. “Well, shit” you mumble.

“I am so sorry, I just picked it up and it fell apart,” Ace says guilt laces his voice.

“From the looks of it this was probably bound to happen, I’ll go find another one,” you say before you disappear into the depths of backstage looking for another overhead mic stand. You search everywhere you can think of but cannot find a replacement.

“Hey Usopp,” you call for his attention running towards him, “Do we have another overhead somewhere special that I forgot about?”

“No, that was our backup, remember when that one artist broke ours and dipped a few months ago before getting us a new one,” he says, “What happened?”

“One broke,” you sigh in defeat.

“Well, shit,” he responds.

“That’s what I said.”

“I can probably rig something up for the night,” Usopp offers, always ready to jerry rig something.

“I’ve tried that before and broke multiple drumheads”

“How did you break multiple, it just goes above one,” Luffy butts in.

“Because I’m stubborn,” you say to him and turn back to Usopp, “I can just go to Larson’s real quick.” You offer to go to the local music store a few blocks down. Usopp agrees, telling you he’ll hold down the fort but to be quick. 

On your way out the door, Ace stops you, “What’s the verdict?”

“Gotta go get a new one,” you admit.

“Let me come with you.”

“I can do it by myself,” you push back.

“I don’t doubt it,” he says with a charming grin, “But I broke the other one, so I should help fix it.”

“I told you, you didn’t break it, but if you insist, let’s go,” not willing to waste time arguing.

The two of you make your way out the building and he follows you down the city sidewalk. In this light you can really see the freckles that adorn his face, they give him an almost boyish charm. Realizing that you’ve been staring, you clear your throat and turn your eyes to the path in front of you.

“So Luffy’s your brother, huh,” you say awkwardly trying to start a conversation as you walk.

“Yeah, he’s my little brother,” Ace says, putting his hands in his pockets.

“It’s cool that he’s in your band, what does he play?” you ask.

“He plays the drums,” Ace responds. Called it you think. He continues, “When I first started playing live he got really excited and kept asking me to be the drummer. It didn't take much for me to fold. He’s my brother and I love him. If it makes him happy, I’ll let him play for me anytime.”

“That's actually very nice of you,” you say nodding.

“What? Were you expecting me to be mean, Doll?” Ace asks you with a playful grin.

“Doll?” you say, raising your eyebrow.

“I thought it seemed fitting,” he shrugs.

“What about Sabo? What does he play,” you question.

“Sabo does a little bit of everything, mainly bass and keys though.”

“Ah so a multi-talented king I see,” you joke, causing Ace to laugh. He has a nice laugh, you think to yourself, the kind that makes you want to laugh too.

“How’d you get into music in the first place?” you question. 

“There’s not really one specific answer to that,” he starts, “I guess I’ve always enjoyed music. Around middle school I started playing guitar and by the time I got to high school, I was writing song after song - granted most of them were absolute garbage,” he chuckles, joy sparking in his eyes, it’s clear he loves talking about music.

“Eventually, I got better at writing and I knew it was all I wanted to do. I had to stop for a few years when my grandpa forced me to join the navy,” the bitterness in his voice is evident.

“But I’m back,” he says cheerfully as looks at you and his smile grows.

Before he can ask you the same question you arrive at Larson’s and your conversation is put on hold. You know exactly what you need and where it is so you head over to the mic stand section picking out a cheap replacement that’s decent enough quality. You bring it to the register and by the time you’re ready to pay Ace already has his card on the reader.

“What are you doing?” you question him.

“Paying,” he responds.

“I can see that, I’m asking why.”

“Because I broke it and I feel bad.”

“I already told you you didn’t break it,” you say with a sigh, “from the looks of it it was on borrowed time, the threading was basically non existent.”

He offers you a smile and takes the stand from the counter turning on his heel to the door. You have no choice but to follow him.

“You know I would’ve been reimbursed for that, right,” you say as you step into stride with him.

“You can reimburse me by taking me to dinner sometime,” he flirts. You can’t help the butterflies that form in your stomach. First it was calling you “Doll” now he’s asking you to dinner? Is this just how he is?  You think to yourself.

“I suppose that’s a fair trade,” you say. His smirk is triumphant.

~~~~~~

The two of you arrive back at the venue laughing as you walk in the door. You know you need to get back to work, but you also don’t want to stop being with him, you’ve really enjoyed being around him so far.

“Have you thought about where you’re taking me to dinner,” he jokes, hoping to talk to you more.

“Where would you want to go?” you try turning the choice on him.

“You’re taking me so you decide. While you’re thinking about it, how about you give me your number,” he says with a charming smile, pulling out his phone. You give him your phone and he hands you his to put your contact information in, you keep it simple, just your name and number, and give it back to him. 

He looks at his phone and shakes his head, changing something about the information you put in, but you don't have time to question because Usopp runs up to the both of you and takes the mic stand from you – well from Ace – before he runs back to stage to set it up.

“Back to work” you say with a hint of regret.

“Aye aye captain,” Ace says with a goofy smile and salute. You turn on your heel, concealing your grin and go get to work.

A switch is flipped inside of Ace during soundcheck, as soon as you start he becomes surprisingly professional. Despite being late earlier, it seems like he doesn’t like to waste people’s time. He’s articulating exactly what he needs, something that you really only see in seasoned artists. He even helps translate for his brothers, namely Luffy. (“the clicky thing is too quiet,” he complains. “the metronome,” Ace clarifies).

For someone who literally works in the industry, you would think that he would know some of the technical terms, but it seems not. When working on the mix for his in ears.

“Why does it sound fuzzy,” Luffy asks. You hear it too and your eyes scan the stage looking for the cause

“Luffy, how are you getting feedback?”Ace snickers, instantly understanding what his sibling is saying. All eyes go to the culprit who for some reason had taken out one of his in ears and had it dangerously close to the mic.

“Luffy, you gotta keep those in,” Ace laughs even harder.

“But I hate them, they’re uncomfy” Luffy pouts and you struggle to hide your smile.

“How? They were literally made for you,” Ace says tired as you stifle a giggle, “You gotta keep them in.” Luffy grumbles but does as he is told.

You don’t get a full picture of their sound, which is common with sound check, because they only play bits and pieces of their songs but as they cycle between them you can tell that Ace has a nice voice.

After soundcheck is over you manage to catch up to Ace. “You're an excellent translator for Luffy, maybe we should keep you around,” you joke.

“It’s years of practice,” he responds.

~~~~~~

The pull that Ace surprises you, people seem to be flooding into the venue as soon as the doors open. You already knew that it was going to be a busier night, but you weren’t expecting this much. You don’t actually remember the last time you saw this place this packed full of bodies. There’s not even an opener so all of these people are here for him. It was so uncharacteristic of this place that the cynic in you can’t help but wonder if Robin had a bunch of tickets comped, giving out free tickets for the bodies, and that’s why it was so full. Something is telling you that this crowd is genuine.

As showtime draws nearer, anticipation bubbles in your stomach, it’s possible that you’re in for an even bigger treat than you thought. When it is finally time for the show to start and they come out on stage you notice that somewhere between now and soundcheck Ace lost his shirt. Goddamn, you think. You knew he was hot before but wow. 

On stage he exudes charisma, it seems like he is in his element. Like much of the crowd, you are not immune to his charms, he’s almost entrancing up there. You’ve always found it attractive to see people so passionate about what they are doing, and it is clear that he is loving this. He is beaming. A smile like no other graces his face. He has the crowd wrapped around his finger and he knows it. 

You’re staring more than you would like to admit, the ways that the muscles in his arms move as he plays the guitar has you in a chokehold. His fingers moving across the fretboard with such ease is placing thoughts that are not safe for work in your head, and it’s that realization that snaps you out of it. 

What the hell are you thinking, you internally scold yourself, first of all he’s Luffy’s brother and that would be weird. Secondly, You. Are. At. Work. 

You forcefully rip your eyes away from him, worried that they’ll remain glued to the man for the rest of the show if you don't. You switch your focus to the monitor and when that gets boring eyes wander the stage and crowd. You’re looking everywhere but him in fear that you won’t be able to pull yourself away if you lay eyes on him again.

Your eyes find Luffy and you remember that you should be supporting your coworker. He actually is pretty decent at drums, he misses a beat every now and then but that’s likely due to how much fun he is having. He wears his trademark boyish grin as he thrashes his head as he plays, causing his hat to fall off, repeatedly. Between songs and during little breaks he is constantly reaching towards his back to put it back on. At least he’s wearing the head strap you snort, thinking of all the times his hat has fallen from the beams as he worked on the lights.

You eventually allow your eyes to drift back to Ace, who catches them and sends you a wink. The simple action makes your heart flutter in a way that you know is problematic. Instead of showing the way he’s impacting you, you give him a short laugh in response. Even at a distance you can tell that his eyes light up as he smiles into the mic.

You can’t deny that he puts on a great show, it seemed to come naturally for him. You’ve seen a lot of performances, but this was something special. It was clear that Robin thought so too. Near the end of the show Robin, who is one of the managers and also the one who books acts, joins you sidestage - you’re pretty sure you know what that means.

“Y/N, how was working with Ace?” Robin asks in a calm voice.

“Great, he’s really professional, I was surprised,” you tell her, intentionally putting a good word for him - not that it isn’t the truth. You can’t lie to yourself, you are hoping that he becomes a regular, you like his company and would want him to be around more. She nods in response, she stays by your side for the rest of the show, which is a good sign.

Right before it ends, Robin asks again, “Do you think that they should come back?” You answer positively a bit too fast, she turns and raises an eyebrow with a small grin. “Okay then, I’ll see what I can do,” she says.

“Great job, Dollface,” Ace says to you, walking off stage, grabbing a towel he left there to wipe off the sweat.

“You were incredible too,” you tell him.

“Really?” he cocks his head, “I felt rusty.”

“If that’s rusty then I can only imagine what you could do at full power,” you tease. He laughs lightly. Robin, who you forgot was still there, has an amused look on her face looking between the two of you, before she whisks Ace off to talk.

You and Usopp start taking down the equipment as the crowd filters out of the venue, you’ve done this so many times together that you don’t even need to communicate. You bring something back to the booth and are surprised to find Luffy there.

“What are you doing here, mister,” you say in a deep authoritative voice, causing the both of you to chuckle.

“Don’t wanna forget the program,” he says holding up a USB stick.

“You can probably just leave it too, I got a feeling we’ll need it again,” you say, unable to keep it in even though it’s not a done deal.

He scratches his neck looking confused, “What do you mean?” he asks. You give him a look, knowing he can figure it out and his eyes widen. “Did Robin-” he stops when you nod with a big smile. He practically vibrates from excitement.

“I knew it would happen!” Luffy says feeling vindicated, “Ace didn’t believe me.” 

You frown, “Why didn’t he believe you?” 

“I don’t know,” he says unsure, “I think he said something about being out of practice?”

You hum in response before switching the subject “I didn’t know you played drums.”

“Thanks, I’m bad at them,” he says with his signature laugh.

“I thought you were really good actually,” you say, giving a heartfelt compliment.

“That was lots of practice,” he says seriously. 

“That’s what it takes to be good at something, you goofball,” you giggle, “How long have you been playing?”

“I think I started when I was like 13? I’m not sure,” Luffy says after thinking hard. “I wanted to spend time with my brothers and this let me do that, plus hitting things is fun” He laughs again, “Anyways, I gotta get going see you later.”

You watch Luffy walk away with a smile, you can see that he’s halfway to the green room when he turns around. “Oh, Y/N,” he nearly shouts as he runs back to you, “I don’t know if Usopp told you but we’re having some people over Saturday cause we don’t have a show. You should come.” He ends up in front of you.

He must be able to tell that you’re a bit hesitant, “Pleeeeeaassee,” he drags out his plea, “Zoro’s on keg and you don’t smoke so you don't need to worry about bringing anything,” he tries to convince you.

“I’ll be there,” you say with a smile

“Yay!” he exclaims, before walking away “see you Saturday Y/N!”

You return the sentiment, but you can’t help but wonder if Ace will be there too. 

Packing up the rest of the equipment goes smoothly and soon enough you’re in the comfort of your own bed when your phone buzzes.

just a quick psa: do not fucking drink like this, binge drinking can and will kill you, you are not invincible please be safe. Have to dial back what they are capable of drinking in universe bc alcohol poisoning exists but this is still you’re in the hospital level binge drinking, like you’re dead drinking please do not do this. <3

Ace feels a little bit out of place in the small apartment, surrounded by his little brother’s friends on a Saturday night. Luffy asked Ace to come over at least a dozen times and he would do anything for the kid, so he plans on sticking around for a little while despite the awkwardness.

He got roped into party prep earlier in the day, which was moving the furniture to the walls and sweeping (“We have to make a good impression,” Usopp, Luffy’s roommate said, “it is very important to any social gathering, and we have the best ones” Luffy reminded him that they had never hosted before with a laugh and Usopp launched himself at the guy, shushing him, claiming that Ace didn’t need to know that). 

When the first person knocks on the door, Luffy flies over to open it. On the other side is a green haired guy holding a quarter keg (this is like 80 bottles/cans of beer and weighs like 90lbs/40kg) with one hand and a bucket of ice in the other like it is nothing. 

“Zoro!” Luffy shouts with glee.

“This should last us most of the night,” the man grunts as he the keg down in the kitchen before tapping the keg and pouring himself a sizable cup. Luffy is right behind him and Ace follows. Soon enough more people trickle into the space, Luffy making sure to introduce Ace to each and every one.

Ace is excited when he sees you enter, he didn’t want to admit it but he was hoping you were going to be there. You came with a redhead that’s introduced to him as Nami, someone who also works with you, Luffy, and Usopp, just at the bar. He tries not to stare as the two of you go and grab drinks while chatting, but he’s having a hard time keeping his eyes off of you. When Nami leaves you to go talk to other people Ace moves quickly to take the chance to swoop in and talk to you.

“Hey, Doll,” he says as he approaches, you turn to meet him and a smile blossoms on your face, “I was wondering if I’d see you here.” He likes the way your cheeks heat up from the nickname and he really likes the smile you give him when you see him.

“Hi Ace,” you say, almost sounding nervous - is he imagining that or does he have that effect on you?

“Know where you’re taking me to eat yet?” Ace asks playfully, bumping your shoulder with his own.

“Not yet, I think I gotta get to know you more first so I can pick a good place after you saved my ass,” you say, “I still can’t believe you did that by the way.”

“Get to know me, huh,” Ace responds mischievously with a wiggle of his brows, “If you were that eager to go out with me you could’ve just asked.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” you question, playful glint in your eyes.

You grill him on his favorite foods, an undeniable undercurrent of flirting continuing to permeate your conversation. People maneuver around you two in the kitchen, several stopping by to greet you as you and Ace talk, but nobody has been able to pull you away yet. That is, until Nami comes back declaring it was time to smoke. You send Ace an apologetic look as she drags you off to the couch by your arm.

A knock reverberates through the front door snapping Ace out of his momentary trance. He quickly pays the delivery guy with the cash left by the door, exchanging it for the multiple boxes of pizza. He places them down and grabs a slice of whatever box was on top, mindlessly looking around the room. His gaze but his gaze lands on you as if you were magnetic. He watches you laugh with your friends when Usopp takes too big a hit and devolves into a coughing fit.

Usopp passes the bong your way and to Ace’s surprise you don’t take a hit, instead you pass it on to Nami before downing the rest of your drink. Now he wonders why Nami pulled you away in the first place if you weren’t going to smoke.

You stand up and walk Ace’s way, patting Usopp – who is still coughing – on the back as you pass. You make a direct beeline for the keg. He watches you as you refill your glass only to down that cup in one gulp, refilling it again. He raises an eyebrow but doesn’t say anything.

“Fancy seeing you here again,” Ace says, drawing your attention.

“How’re you doing, hottie,” you tease - the words are playful but they ignite something inside of him. He smiles cheekily at the reference to the contact name he put in your phone.

“What brings you over to my side of town,” he jokes.

“Weed doesn’t really agree with me,” you say simply leaving it at that, leaning against the counter. A silence envelopes the kitchen, one that Ace is desperate to break but can’t figure out how to. All hope is lost when you bring your glass up to meet your lips. His eyes follow your every move, completely transfixed by the simple action.

He forgets how to behave casually, his elbow missing the counter top entirely when he tries to lean against it next to you. He really hopes that you didn’t notice that but the silent giggle tumbling out of your mouth is telling him that you did.

Ace clears his throat, trying to dispel the thoughts in his mind, “So how ya know Luffy?” As soon as the words leave his mouth he knows that it was a stupid question. What the hell is wrong with him? He can’t believe that he is acting like he’s never done this before, it’s embarrassing.

“We work together,” you laugh.

“I meant what got you into music? I didn’t get the chance to ask earlier” he says, trying to recover, hoping desperately that you can’t see the heat in his cheeks. He grabs another slice of pizza hoping that eating will prevent him from being awkward. 

“Ace you didn’t tell me the pizza was here,” Luffy says from across the apartment with a frown. 

“Luffy, the pizza’s here,” Ace grins, mouth full. You try hard to stifle a laugh as the energetic boy comes running into the kitchen grabbing the boxes of pizza. Just as quickly as he came, Luffy runs back to the living room, setting them on the table before taking one for himself.

Ace notices how Nami catches your eye and gives you a questioning look. He watches your silent interaction, which ends with you waving off Nami - he isn’t sure if that is a good thing or not. Before he can dwell on what that meant you turn back to him.

“We were talking about music, yeah,” you question. Ace nods in response, his mouth full from another bite. “I’m not entirely sure exactly what got me into music, I think it was a cumulation of a bunch of things. Music has always been a big part of my life, even when I was growing up. Honestly I can’t really picture myself doing anything else.”

The conversation moves to music in general, a topic he is more than happy to talk about. Ace finds himself getting more and more excited as you talk, nobody has really been able to match his freak when it comes to music and it was refreshing to talk to someone just as passionate about the topic. He knew already he enjoys your company but this is solidifying the fact.

You mention your love for making playlists and you see how he lights up. Ace quickly (and excitedly) suggests that you make playlists for each other, immediately pulling out his phone to craft one right then and there. You laugh at his enthusiasm but are fast to do the same. After you finish making him a short on-the-spot playlist, Ace watches you go for what he is pretty sure is your fourth drink of the night. 

“You should probably slow down,” he cautions, gesturing to the keg, trying to save you from the pain of a hangover. 

To his surprise however, you scoff before looking at him with a smile, “Relax, I can outdrink you.”

Now it’s Ace’s turn to scoff. “I highly doubt that darling,” he says full of confidence.

“I outdrank Zoro once,” you proudly proclaim. Ace didn’t know the man in question super well but he’s been witness to the number of times the green haired man came to refill his cup and how he seems to be able to handle his alcohol well.

Zoro, as if knowing you were talking about him, snaps his head in your direction and shouts, “Oi, that’s not fair, I was sick.”

“You threw up, so it counts,” you shout back sticking out your tongue, delight written all over your face. Zoro mumbles something in disagreement but doesn’t push any further. Ace finds your antics amusing and a bit charming.

“Wanna put money on it, Doll?” Ace asks with a mischievous grin.

“How about you buy me dinner,” you playfully respond. 

“And if I win?” he wiggles his eyebrows.

“It won’t happen,” you state firmly.

“If it does?” He pushes, not sure what answer he is hoping for, probably any that involves spending more time with you

“Then I’ll take you out to dinner twice,” you say.

“Deal” he says and the pair of you shake on it, “let me catch up to you then.” He chugs two more cups of beer so you start at the same baseline.

“Did I hear something about a drinking contest?” Nami shouts and you laugh at her. If Ace knew her better he would probably be able to tell that the tone of voice she is using is reserved explicitly for when there is money on the line.

“Are you sure, Y/N, Ace is really able to drink,” Luffy warns you from across the room. Ace’s confidence grows at his little brother’s praises. 

That is until Nami hits Luffy on the head, “What are you talking about? You’ve seen her drink.”

It is starting to become clear to Ace that this is going to become an event and that your group takes drinking contests seriously. While he isn’t worried, being confident in his abilities, he just hopes you’re going to be okay losing infront of all your friends.

The group that was smoking and a few stragglers move into the kitchen to watch. Usopp is quick to declare himself the referee. Nami and Sanji – Ace is pretty sure that is his name – both bartenders, come over and start filling cups.

You and Ace sit down at the small bartop and shake hands. Out of the corner of his eye, Ace can see Luffy clapping his feet in excitement. When he reverts his attention back to the game, it surprises Ace to see how many cups the bartenders filled. There are at least ten for each of you. He is sure that your friends would know your limits but Ace starts to worry about you getting alcohol poisoning or something.

“I already know where you’re gonna take me to dinner,” you tease him.

“We’ll see about that,” Ace says grinning ear to ear, “You ready, doll?”

“I am so going to kick your ass,” you say, and he is loving your confidence. With that Usopp declares it’s time to start.

Ace downs the first glass of beer only to see that you’re already on your second. He takes that as a sign to lock the fuck in and he keeps going. The two of you remain neck and neck, and he is surprised you’re even able to drink this fast. He would be lying if he said that he didn’t find it kinda hot, but he is too focused on winning to dwell on that. He starts to feel the alcohol enter his bloodstream but he doesn’t stop.

“Damn, Doll, I did not expect you to make it past ten,” Ace slurs as you both catch your breath between drinks. Still tied, you had made it nearly the entire way through the cups and were now in the home stretch.

“What are you at now?” Nami asks, concern in her voice she looks over at Sanji and they share a look of unease.

“Not sure but I think we’re at eleven - maybe twelve or thirteen,” Ace answers, doing his best to count. Sanji’s eyes grow wide, both of you are well past double the amount of drinks he would serve a customer and both bartenders know it is time to cut you off.

“Alright, you’re done, no more,” Sanji says, pulling away the glasses. Nami is already getting the two of you water.

You pout a little at the cut off but neither you nor Ace are going to argue with a bartender who cuts you off, they may not be on the clock but they understand how alcohol impacts people. You whisper to Ace (loudly) that this is why all of your good drinking contests happen when they’re not around. Sanji scoffs at that, mumbling something about the damn moss head? Ace isn’t sure.

After you're cut off, the crowd disperses with some chatter. Zoro grabs as many of the glasses as he could carry, which is five of the six left, and goes back to the living room. Sanji rolls his eyes, clearly annoyed at the guy, but doesn’t make a move to stop it. Ace can’t help but wonder what Zoro’s tolerance is, How fucked is his liver?

Nami then pulls you away and practically forces water down your throat, nearly choking you in the process. But Ace can hear her faint praise to you, commenting how she just made money, which causes you to laugh and spit out some of the water. Sanji slides a glass of water to Ace as well, instructing him to drink it. 

Hands appear on Ace’s shoulders causing him to jump a little. “It seems that you’ve met your match, huh,” Ace hears Sabo’s voice. He’s not wrong, Ace thinks, reaching for a slice of pizza.

“I really gotta go,” Sabo says with a sense of urgency, “I bet the redhead like 50 bucks on you and she looks like the type to collect if there’s a draw.” Ace laughs, from what he overheard, Sabo is probably right. 

“Good luck getting home,” Sabo says jokingly, patting Ace’s back before sneaking out the door.

Off in the distance he can hear Luffy trying to put on some music and multiple people jump trying to stop him. Ace chuckles, he can’t really blame them, Luffy’s taste in music is… unique. He can hear bickering about who is going to control the music, but he tunes it out, his mind elsewhere. 

Ace is still thinking about what Sabo said earlier. He can’t pretend like he doesn’t really like you, or at least enjoys your company. He watches you over with Nami, who he can hear making you promise to keep drinking water and eating food - with threats attached of course. Once she seems content, she leaves you to your own devices, returning back to her earlier spot on the couch. And just like that the two of you are alone in the kitchen again.

You turn to him and let out a joyous laugh making his heart constrict a little bit. “You just had to tell them what we were at, didn’t you,” you say in a jokingly accusatory tone, walking over to him again.

“Hey, I didn’t know they would cut us off like that,” Ace defends.

“I know, they’re such buzzkills sometimes,” you sigh overdramatically, he lets out a little laugh. You sit down next to him, swiveling the stool to look at him. He’s not quite sure why he is so happy you came and sat next to him but it’s making his heart palpitate.

“I’m impressed that you could keep up with me, Dollface, not many people can say the same,” he pokes fun. If he could read minds he would know that you were thinking how it is possible for someone to have such a charming smile.

“You shouldn’t underestimate me, I have powers beyond your comprehension,” you lean in close with a goofy grin. Ace can’t help but find drunk you adorable – not that you weren’t already. You sit back up and continue, “But you were good.”

“I put my money where my mouth is babydoll,” he says. Ace doesn’t register the new name until a spark of something flashes through them and you lick your lips. He is enchanted by the action, eyes lingering on your lips longer than they should be.

“JENGA TIME,” Luffy shouts, pulling Ace out of his thoughts. Why the hell are you playing Jenga, he thinks. When you look at Ace you can see the confusion on his face and answer the question before he can even ask, “It’s jenga but the blocks have things written on them and you have to do what it says or drink.”

“Come on let's go play,” you say giddy, pulling him out of the chair.

The alcohol is clearly starting to course its way through the both of you as you walk. You drag him across the apartment stopping short to scout out a spot for the two of you to sit. You point to the empty cushion on the couch and drag him over. The two of you squeeze into the last seat, Nami, on your otherside refusing to give the two of you space. For some reason Ace doesn’t really mind having you pressed up against him. 

He’s so focused on how your bodies connect he doesn’t notice the game starts until Luffy is screaming out from drinking a shot of hot sauce. The room erupts in laughter at his brother’s misery and Ace can’t help but join in. Luffy leaves the circle and sticks his head under the kitchen faucet drinking water straight from the tap.

“How does he always get that one,” you giggle.

“He probably likes it,” Zoro grunts, “Ever notice how the hot sauce gets hotter every time?”

When Luffy returns, the game continues around the circle with some getting dares others having to tell embarrassing stories. Eventually it comes around to Ace and he has to answer what happened the last time he got blackout drunk. It’s been a while but it’s a story that Marco never lets him live down, not that he remembers doing it. 

“I’m pretty sure that Luffy knows this one,” Ace starts with the slightest hint of embarrassment.

“Is this the stop sign one?” Luffy asks, getting excited when Ace nods, “This is a good one.” Luffy laughs, knowing what’s to come.

“Gonna share with the class, Portgas?” you tease. He flashes you a smile that leaves you full of anticipation. You lean into him even more, not noticing how his breath hitches. He takes a beat, preparing himself before he tells the tale.

“For the record, I don’t remember any of this, this is just what I’ve been told,” Ace starts, struggling to keep his words coherent, “It was Halloween a couple of years ago, I was walking back to my apartment with a couple of friends and on the way there was this stop sign that had clearly been hit by a car, it was messed up and bent out of shape. For whatever reason, I really wanted that stop sign, probably to liven up the apartment.

“I ripped it out of the ground and right after I did that an officer stopped us, which makes sense, a group of drunk guys holding a stop sign that was clearly just pulled out of the sidewalk is sketchy. The officer asked what I was doing with the sign and I wanted to keep it so I played dumb and hid it behind my back. But I didn’t do a good job because the sign was sticking out above my head.

“Luckily, my friend Marco managed to convince the officer that it was already out and I just picked it up to try and put it back and he believed him and let us go, but I had to leave the sign behind and I was so upset about losing it that I was sad the rest of the night. Marco likes to say I was crying about it while over the toilet but I think he’s full of it.”

The story seems to be popular with the crowd because it has them cracking up for a while (Luffy being the loudest, despite having heard this story several times), throwing out questions that he couldn’t answer. The room eventually calms and then it is your turn. 

Nami instructs you which block to pull when your turn comes around and you happily follow her suggestion, not seeing the mischievous smirk on her face that she directs at Ace, confusing him.

“Sit in the person on your right’s lap for the next round,” you say, slurring your words together. …He’s the person to your right. Nami’s look is making sense now.

“You good with that?” you ask him with big doe eyes that make him feel weak. 

“Shit,” Ace whispers, grateful that the heat of alcohol can be blamed for his blush. You cock your head, waiting for his response. He scoops you up onto his lap, wrapping his arms around your waist, “If that’s what it says.” You show him the block as proof and to be honest he doesn’t care if you made that up or not. Once you’re comfortable on his lap and distracted, Nami mouths ‘you're welcome’ to him. Ace isn’t sure if he should thank her or be embarrassed that she read him so clearly.

The round comes and goes and you’re still perched on his lap. The two of you are sharing laughs at jokes only you understand. He already likes making people laugh but Ace is finding just how much he enjoys getting you to throw your head back in laughter.

The game fizzles out naturally as people start to leave for the night, but Ace and you are so lost in your own world you don’t really notice. At some point you shifted positions. Now sitting across his lap and he is glad to be able to see your face, happy to get lost in your features. You reach up and pluck the hat from his head, placing it on your own. 

The simple sight of you in his hat has Ace feeling a hunger that he hasn’t felt in awhile. He’s at a loss for words, seeing you in something he owns is releasing primal urges in him that he’s been trying desperately to beat back with a stick all night. You’re his little brother’s friend for fucks sake, no need to make it awkward if it doesn’t work out.

“Hey Y/N, is that Ace’s hat you’re wearing,” Nami says poking fun at you. In either embarrassment for being caught or realization of what you did you remove the orange hat, placing it back onto Ace’s head.

The sight of you in his hat feels like a guilty pleasure, one that he is not willing to give up so quickly. He catches your hand and guides it back your head and a surprised look overtakes your face. “It looks good on you,” Ace explains in what he hopes is a casual tone.

Much sooner than he’d like, Nami is pulling you away from him to bring you home. You give his hat back and leave his lap with an apologetic glance. He can't help but be excited to see you again.

a/n since they kinda drink like a frat in universe i figured they probably buy kegs like one too, they likely rotate who buys though i am an absolute lightweight but grew up around heavy drinkers, this is only slightly exaggerated (bc that fits the characters better) but i have seen people drink a LOT like your liver cannot be fine a lot also i LOVE drunk jenga. They drank enough to get FUCKED UP fr so ofc they drunk idiots at the end, love that for them, it’s cute

pls don't expect chapters to be this long i can't do it regularly 😭

pls like & comment! let me know your thoughts | © stuckinmymind22 | dividers by @enchanthings

[whore-ibly-hot]

Hello and Happy Holidays to you! I've been a lurker of this blog and I just gotta say that your Boarding School Series heals me, my crops are thriving, skin cleared, grades immaculate, all that- /pos

I hope asking for some info about the teaching staff would be okay? Regardless of if its general or a little more specific, what are each of the staff member's envisioned future with the reader? (Staring [dis]respectfully at all of them)

LETS GOOOOO! The crops are looking good, my anons won't starve! Now let's see....

Mr. Burton: As far as what he sees for him and the reader, he wants to get back into the art scene. Maybe not through his own work, but as a dealer or even a critic. He doesn't want a huge mansion, to much upkeep, but a nice studio in a big city sounds just perfect. He wants you sitting pretty by his side, his muse for paintings and photos. Of course, he'd never display or seel that art, it's a personal passion project. He wouldn't necessarily want kids, but would be 'meh' if not a little annoyed if some came along. Still, the idea of raising a prodigy... He's also the kind of guy to refuse to get a pet but gets very attached to whatever animal you move in with. A kitten? He's using its paws to make those dumb little cat paw paintings online? A dog? He's training it to bring him the brushes and gouache.

Coach Koslov: He loves coaching, the schools athletics department is thriving, and he's happy working with star athletes. However, he wants you away from here. It's simply not healthy, all these boys. You need a man, him. He's got a big home, from his days of being an athlete and olympian, for galas and parties. However, it's long empty now. He'd love to bring life into the home again, get you, and two big ass dogs. He goes for runs frequently, and he would love a pair of bruisers to take on walks but cuddle and love all the same. Children? He worries he's too old for them, but if you insist, he'd get through it and realize how much he wants them. An orthodox Russian wedding, even though he's not religious it's a cultural thing. He'd be a doting dad, the kind to strap the baby to his chest before a run. He's also one of the dad who insist on swim training for the babies safety but sobsnwhen the instructor pushes them in the pool. Little league? Hell yeah.

Critch: He's a simple man, he likes quiet nights of reading at home, and a clean home with a cup of warm tea. He'd want to be traditional, marrying you in a pretty white dress, regardless of your gender, carrying you over that threshold and making you his. Hes expect you to cook and clean, again, regardless of gender, but in return he'd spoil you with travel to luxury places and home upgrades. Experiences, not pointless material items, as he explains to you. He has no pets of his own, but he's a frequent bird feeder oddly enough. Finds it relaxing. He's far to old to want to have a child with you, but he is one for discipline and creating a better, 'proper', future for someone, so he wouldn't be against adopting someone, just older than a toddler.

Kory Koffman: I made a post about Kory already, but to summarize he wants a nice home with plenty of kids, who he can teach and nuture. He's very focused on giving them a life he didn't have, one where he was lonely and outcasted from other kids. Luckily, he always had his mother's love, and he wants his kids to experience that too. He'd be a great dad, saving up the moment you even mention kids to get a bigger home. He'd love a cat, someone snuggle to curl up on his lap while he reads. Or a fish tank with native fish, he loves the sound of running water.

Mr. Murphy: He's the kind of guy who wants a big ol' house outside of city limits, a farmhouse with land for a couple chickens, maybe goats, and a forest nearby for good hunting and fishing. He comes from a big happy family, all boys, and he wants a huge wedding despite not being one for pageantry. You're special, you've made an impact on him and you deserve a grand wedding. Once your married, he'd want a housewife to; like his mama. Cooking and cleaning while he works, coming home and kissing you while helping you finish a stew. Then laying in bed, maybe taking a roll in the hay. Sounds perfect. He'd go to the shelter with you for a big dog, but somehow leave with the oldest, crustiest senior dog they had. He knows what it's like to feel insecure about being past your prime, seen as gruff and not worth someone's time. It hurts him, so know you've got a rickety little yelper scurrying around the house and laying on his daddy's lap. He wants kids, as many as possible to fill up that farm house of his, but i can sense he's a bit of a girl dad. Family camping trips are frequent, he wants his kiddos as interested in nature as he is, not just how to hunt and kill, but to appreciate it.

[velarisdusk]

I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD PREFACE:

these are NOT meant to be soundalikes. i think our guys would use their own intonations, inflections, and creative decisions for things like cadence and ad-libs in these songs. this is meant to be a showcase of what vibes i think their songs would be. under the cut, i'll have notes on why i chose tracks, certain covers of songs, etc.

All that to say—This Is: Wings of Illyria

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01 The Great Escape — BOYS LIKE GIRLS the song that started it all.... i've definitely said this way too many times, but i'll say it again. the bridge. 'we won't hear a word.... they.... say / they don't know us anyway.' that is azriel's part. that is where the crowd goes batshit (buh dum tss). i think their songs would be a range of stuff like pop-punk, alt, rock. this one might be a bit different than the rest of the energy of the playlist, but i was not folding on this one, it HAD to be in the playlist.

02 Seven Nation Army — The White Stripes the bass in this is so iconic and i thought az deserved it. thats pretty much the only reason, i can't even lie

03 Take Me Out — Franz Ferdinand i just really love this song LMFAOOOO also i can see rhys KILLING IT on guitar. i ALSO really like the thought of az and cass having fun shouting the backing vocals. OH OH and az and rhys playing their instruments back to back with these shit-eating smirks on their faces mmm yum

04 Somebody Told Me — The Killers this is the first of the "fun" songs i chose for them, i think that'll make more sense when you listen to the rest of the "fun" ones. like i think these are the slightly less serious songs that they'd enjoy performing.

05 Kryptonite — 3 Doors Down i think this is one of the ones i find truer to their usual sound (usual, i say, as if i didnt just make it all up lol)

06 Sex on Fire — Kings of Leon a more mellow one comparatively. the instrumentals are great in this and i see them having fun with it

07 Come As You Are — Nirvana also a bit more mellow, but i think rhys would kill this

08 Aerials — System Of A Down so.. serj tankian has a very unique voice and i love it but obv rhys wouldnt sound like that yknow? i just think the guitar in this song is awesome and i think rhys would have a lot of fun playing this one (also az on harmony yum)

09 The Kill — Thirty Seconds To Mars a classic emo/alt song. this one all around is AMAZING for them. the backing vocals, the belting, the DRUMS. cass would have so much fun on this one

10 Everlong — Foo Fighters starts slow but picks up, i think the instrumentals all around are very them. i see rhys being super passionate on vocals (not to mention how iconic the guitar is HELLOOOO), cass smashing the mf drums, az with the mellow backing vocals

11 Dance, Dance — Fall Out Boy i think if any of these songs are a bit out of the realm of the others, these two fall out boy tracks are it. dont get me wrong, it still fits into the vibe with those "fun" songs i was talking about, it's just one of their less serious songs i think

12 Thnks fr th Mmrs — Fall Out Boy three hot guys singing about casual sex. need i say more?

13 Dear Maria, Count Me In — All Time Low pop punk singer rhys!! i love!! another "fun" song

14 Are You Gonna Be My Girl — Jet yet another "fun" song! ugh idk i just find them singing about a girl to be very hot and sexy

15 You're Gonna Go Far, Kid — The Offspring the guitar.. the aggressive lyrics.... the shouted ad libs (def cass on the 'trust, deceived' at the end of the second verse) and the lower harmony by az

16 Scotty Doesn't Know �� Lustra A "FUN" SONG!! ONE OF MY FAV "FUN" SONGS ON THIS LIST!! like i said,, these hot guys singing about a girl.. add in the fact that theyre singing about fucking her>>>>>

17 I Was Made For Lovin' You — YUNGBLUD OKAY. i have a good bit to say about this one bc i realize it's an interesting choice. i had the original by KISS on here at first, but the sound was a bit too classic rock compared to the rest of their stuff. this cover gives a bit more of a modern-alt-rock sound? i want to make known that i HATE the way "can't" in the first "i can't get enough of you baby" is sung, but it's only once. i also love the PICK UP IN TEMPO AAAAA its really good. let me walk you through the thought process. im seeing in concert we've got like.. a dark stage. a spotlight on rhys seated at a piano, singing into the mic. once he sings the first chorus, he stands, the lights come up, az tosses him his guitar, he catches it with one hand, throwing the strap over himself, the guitar spins around him and then rhys starts fuckin GOING AT IT. anyway..... yeah that's why i chose this cover instead of the original

18 You Give Love A Bad Name — Bon Jovi ik i said classic rock wasnt their sound but this one is just so good. i can see them giving this one a slightly more modern feel

19 Savior — Rise Against do me a favor. listen to this with headphones. start the song with just the right earbud in, then at the end of that intro verse, put the left one in so the guitar grows. those isolated vocals would be az. thank u.

20 Situations — Escape the Fate remember how 16 was one of my fav "fun" songs on the list? THIS is my fav one. its just so openly sexual, vey raunchy, they'd be very sexy singing this and the crowd would cream their pants

21 The Drug In Me Is You — Falling In Reverse this one's just as simple as great vocals, bitchin guitar, amazing drums

22 Paralyzer — Finger Eleven again, BITCHIN guitar

23 I Hate Everything About You — Three Days Grace the AGGRESSION!!!!! RAAAA!!!!!!! thats it, it's aggressive and they'd be hot playing this song

24 Covet — Basement another slower song, but i love it so i put it. duh. every album has one or two slower songs, this is one of them.

25 Zombie — Bad Wolves i absolutely LOVE this one. it has more of that rock feel for these guys than the original by the cranberries. thats why i chose this cover. i can see them head banging to this one

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yall were interested so just gonna tag you here!! hope you enjoy :D @anarchiii @chairofchaos @blushingfawnsposts @mellowmusings @acoazlove

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