#i need to revisit that at some point | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

smidgen-of-hotboy · 8 months ago

Text

Our Angel of Brahma, pt. ix

Travelers. Friends. Mutuals. @ceaseless-watchers-special-girl @ananxiousgenz @the-private-eye @demonic-panini @gwenlena

SOUND: COMMS BEEPS. RECORDING BEGINS. MOTHERLY VOICE: I finally got a moment to myself thanks to Eber and Camilla… Thank the Goddess… I don’t know what I would be doing without them. (THE PERSON SIGHS) Where do I begin? I guess… my name would be a good start. (CLEARING THEIR THROAT) My name is Eevee Bell, and I am one of three to four dozen Dome Wardens on Brahma. Our duty is to perform routine maintenance on the planet’s Dome, track incoming and outgoing shuttles and ships, and monitor Brahma’s severe weather outside the Dome. I love my job. I think I do my job very well. From what I’ve heard about other planets, they have robotics and computers to do this job now. Artificial intelligence that the Solar Planets spent a fortune to perfect. Of course just like with everything else though, Brahma gets left behind in the dust. (EEVEE CHUCKLES UNDER HER BREATH) EEVEE: Goddess bless our savior New Kinshasa. (EEVEE LAUGHS A BIT HARSHER) EEVEE: What happened to us though has been brewing under their noses for some time now. I guess it was only a matter of time before… something was done. To be honest I’m still not entirely sure what did happen. I know that our alarms went off when the Reactor Core was removed, and I know they stopped going off when the Core was put back. I know that the Chief Constable called all of our stations, and ordered us to go home. I know that we have not gone back to our stations for nearly ten days. I know that if we don’t accept any imports within the next seven days Brahma will begin to suffer. And if we fall, New Kinshasa falls with us. Cyrus called me while I was rushing to get home to Baird. He asked me how much I knew and after I told him, I asked how much he knew. He said it would be better if he came to speak to me in person. He lives across town with Iris. I told him it wouldn’t be wise to meet up so late, especially with a curfew in place. He disagreed, but I talked enough sense into him that he waited until morning to catch a tram over here to the apartments. Baird was not enthused to see him. He was rather… indifferent, actually. I know it hurt Cyrus’ feelings, I do plan on talking about it with Baird when I can, but it’s so hard to talk about anything seriously right now. I’d rather keep things as light-hearted as possible. I sent Baird over to Camilla and Eber’s apartment while I had tea with Cyrus. He looked so worried. He asked me if I saw the Chief Constable’s broadcast about the Revolutionary, Peter Nureyev. I have. I watched it with Baird the night before after I got home from my post. Cyrus said that he doesn’t know of any Peter Nureyevs in any of his revolution circles. He surprised me by asking me for my thoughts about the Constable they allegedly found murdered by the Revolutionary. I didn’t at the time, and I still don’t now. Cyrus said that he has reason to believe that part was a lie. He doesn’t believe the Revolutionary killed a Constable. He thinks it might be an elaborate lie or cover-up for some more vain truth. (EEVEE INHALES SHARPLY) The revolutionaries are holding a meeting tonight. Cyrus invited me to come. He wants me there. I don’t want to get in trouble, but… I need to keep Cyrus and Baird safe. And by extension, it’s my job to keep Brahma safe. SOUND: COMMS BEEPS. RECORDING ENDS.

SOUND: COMMS BEEPS AGAIN. NEW RECORDING BEGINS: EEVEE: What the fuck! NEW VOICE: What are you doing? EEVEE: What am I doing I’m recording you idiot! Cyrus, don’t you see? If what was discussed tonight has any truth to it, New Kinshasa isn’t going to let any of this get out. More than– I bet you my next paycheck that Dark Matters is going to play a role in covering it all up! (CYRUS TRIES TO SHUSH EEVEE) CYRUS: Alright, alright– you have a point. Keep your voice down alright the streets have ears… You really hope your little comms though is going to play a role in– This? EEVEE: Mark my word, I think my little comms will outlive both of us. If Baird’s lucky it will outlive them. (CYRUS GROANS. EEVEE GIGGLES) Okay, okay… I attended the meeting– CYRUS: The book club. We went to a late-night book club meeting. What? Don’t give me that look. Plausible deniability, Eve. EEVEE: Right. The Book Club. We attended Book Club and talked about the climax of a war story. In the story, the main character kills a man with radical ideas to overthrow their government. The man he killed was not popular amongst the rebels. In theory, they should have agreed with him. CYRUS: In practice, however, the rebels do not condone murdering hundreds of thousands of people. Thus the whole unpopular amongst the rebels. EEVEE: Of course, word got out about the man’s death, and to cover it up, the government claimed him as an Enforcer. And they were getting away with it because the last clothes the man was found in was a stolen Enforcer uniform. I don’t know if I believe the rebel or the government’s of the story– CYRUS: Eve– EEVEE: But! But. But I do believe that it was the right call for the rebels to sit back and wait for information to trickle out to them slowly… I think I’ll need to attend the next meeting to really make sure I understand what I’m getting myself into. Oh– I’m so tired. Can we discuss all this in the morning? With hopefully less ears listening in? (CYRUS HUMS AFFIRMATIVELY) CYRUS: I’ll even let you sleep in if you let me crash on your couch. EEVEE: Of course, I wouldn’t make you walk across town while already breaking our curfew. CYRUS: Thanks, Eve. (LONG PAUSE) Baird’s not going to be mad to see me, is he? EEVEE: This late at night? I doubt it. If anything he’s staying over at that Spade’s apartment probably fast asleep with Charlie. Oh, they’re so sweet together. I went to say good night to them one evening and I couldn’t kiss Baird’s head because Charlie had a death grip on his shoulders. He's always polite and entertains all of Baird’s whims… I wish you were around more to see it happen. CYRUS: You and I both know why that can’t happen. (BOTH OF THEM SIGH) EEVEE: You know he’s only so pouty around you because you and I split up, right? He just wants us all together again. Like a proper family. CYRUS: We are a proper family. Mom who works too hard, dad who left to get milk and never came back– see? Proper family. (EEVEE LAUGHS CAUSING CYRUS TO LAUGH) UNFAMILIAR VOICE: Hey, state your business and show your credentials. CYRUS: Shit, Constables. Run Eve! SOUND: COMMS BEEPS. RECORDING ENDS.

SOUND: COMMS BEEPS AGAIN. RECORDING BEGINS. (EEVEE WHISPERS) EEVEE: Cyrus and I got away from the Constables last week perfectly fine. This week on Brahma: we went to another revolution meeting. A few old timers took roll call and one of them said he had reason to believe that the person the Angel of Brahma killed was one of theirs. A man who wasn’t the least bit popular in any particular revolutionary circle. Apparently, he wanted to drop New Kinshasa out of the sky and saw it perfectly fit to kill all of Brahma in the process. (EEVEE SCOFFS) The nerve of some people. No one at the meeting could remember his name though, and no one still knows who Peter Nureyev is outside of the photos projected on every billboard on the planet now. He looks so young. Those dark and haunting eyes and sharp teeth. I find it hard to believe that he’s just a teenager. But– he is. I’m trying to keep my voice down right now because Baird is asleep. The meeting was held before curfew this time so Cyrus went home to Iris and I walked alone back to the apartment. Eber was waiting for me just outside and before I could say hello he was dragging me down the halls to Hank’s apartment. His dog Missy was sprawled out on the sofa but Hank, Camilla, and Josie were all gathered around the dinner table. Mrs. Darius was upstairs with Talia, Charlie, and Baird. I sat down and told them everything I could. The revolutionaries wouldn’t let me record anything with my comms during the meeting, but there wasn’t much that I think needed to be recorded. Just talk about who was storing what, who was leaving their doors open to help others. There was a lot of talk about going on strike. Either food or labor. They want to send a message to New Kinshasa. I don’t think I can afford to do much of anything. Me and the other Dome Wardens just went back to work two days ago, we are working through a backlog of off-planet imports and exports still. If I strike alone I’ll just be fired. If all the Wardens strike, then the Constables will take over and that will lead to certain catastrophe. And if I stop eating then Baird will stop eating and he’s already so… short. Oh– I wish I got a chance to talk to Cyrus before we went our separate ways. He’d help me think of some way I can help. Better yet, he’d probably be able to give the others here at the apartments the answers they wanted from me. Hank didn’t say anything other than telling us to get out. Eber, Camilla, Josie, and I were silent on the walk upstairs. The kids were delighted to see us. Eber walked Talia back down to Hank, Josie was trying to fill in Mrs. Darius, and Camilla and I watched the boys play some sort of game where they kept pinching each other and trying to not shriek? I think that was the objective? Children’s games used to be much less violent when I was that age. I remember when– BAIRD (FUTURE REVOLUTIONARY): Memma? EEVEE: Bairdy! What are you doing awake? BAIRD (FUTURE REVOLUTIONARY): I couldn’t sleep. You were being too loud. (EEVEE TSKS) EEVEE: Then let’s put you back to bed alright baby? C’mon. I’ll even sing for you if you’d like. SOUND: COMMS BEEPS. RECORDING ENDS.

SOUND: COMMS BEEPS AGAIN. NEW RECORDING BEGINS. EEVEE: I have either made the best decision of the revolution that will turn the tides in favor of Brahma, or the worst mistake of my life. I told the old-timers at this past meeting that I work as a Dome Warden, and that a few of my colleagues seemed interested in joining the rebellion but were uncertain on how to go about it. The old-timers were delighted for a number of reasons and had drawn the same conclusion that I had a few weeks ago when a labor strike was first brought up. They think it would be very good if I was able to get some of the other Wardens on board with the revolution. Cyrus was very quiet during the meeting. I asked him before we left if he had any opinions he was holding back, and all he said was to trust my gut. So… I trusted my gut. I told the other Wardens at my post about the meetings. I told them about going on strike. A few seemed skeptical. Others wanted to know when the next meeting was. I’m going to contact Cyrus and get him to help me get the others to the next meeting. I hope… this wasn’t a mistake. I guess time will only tell. SOUND: COMMS BEEPS. RECORDING ENDS.

SOUND: COMMS BEEPS AGAIN. NEW RECORDING BEGINS. EEVEE: –you turned it on. Good job, baby. BAIRD (FUTURE REVOLUTIONARY): Mom, why are you showing me how to use your comms? Is something going to happen to us? Is something bad going to happen to you? EEVEE: What? Oh no, baby. Nothing is going to happen to me. I just think you would find more use out of my comms than I would. Look, since you got it to record you can start recording all those little songs you like to sing. Or maybe you can get Charlie to record a story for you. BAIRD (FUTURE REVOLUTIONARY): But Mom, I like your singing and your stories more. Will you sing for me? And tell me a story tonight? EEVEE: Absolutely not. You get one or the other. Take your pick. And whatever you don’t choose, you have to give to me. (BAIRD POUTS) BAIRD (FUTURE REVOLUTIONARY): Fine… I want a story from you, and then I’ll give you a song. EEVEE: Good choice, Bairdy. What kind of story would you like? (BAIRD HUMS) BAIRD (FUTURE REVOLUTIONARY): I want a story about Brahma. EEVEE: A story about Brahma? Well… there once was a boy born on Brahma with nothing. Not even a name. He grew up just like everyone else, hungry for more. More food, more freedom, more time. The boy followed a man who dreamed of dropping the New Kinshasa on top of the planet. The boy was very tired. Tired of being poor, tired of being hungry, tired of being alone. But he knew, that if he let that man drop New Kinshasa out of the sky, he would never be able to forgive himself. Brahma is his home. He looked down at Brahma from up high, and saw them: his people. Starving young faces just like his looked up to the sky and stared back at the city as it trembled. The boy had the power at his fingertips to stop a tragedy. This is it. The people thought. This is how we go out. Not with the big bang, but crushed under the heel of our jailor. The boy heard their thoughts. He felt a rush of adrenaline and stopped the man from getting away. The city of New Kinshasa never fell out of the sky that day. The people were ordered to retreat to their homes. But that evening, everyone heard about the great threat against the Guardian Angel System. And everyone learned the name Peter Nureyev. And for the first time in the last half-century, hope bloomed on Brahma. The Boy, The Legend, The Angel of Brahma. BAIRD (FUTURE REVOLUTIONARY): That’s not a story Memma, that’s history. EEVEE: And what is history but a story we have to learn from? Now, I believe you owe me a song. (BAIRD GROANS AND HUFFS) BAIRD (FUTURE REVOLUTIONARY): Fine… (BAIRD TAKES A DEEP BREATH AND HUMS. THE SOUND GETS CLEARER LIKE HE’S BROUGHT THE COMMS CLOSER) My angel, I must ask you keep singing for me. How sweet your tune, like a songbird at noon. What a lovely trill, it makes me feel ill. O’ My heart overflows, I could never let go. Like chimes in the wind, it must be destined. I’ll find my way home, with your voice I’ll never be alone. Happy? (EEVEE SNIFFLES) EEVEE: Very. Thank you, Baird. That was beautiful. (FABRIC RUSTLES, BOTH BAIRD AND EEVEE HUM) Promise me you’ll never stop singing baby. BAIRD (FUTURE REVOLUTIONARY): Of course, Memma. I don’t think I could even if I tried. EEVEE: Good. Now– (EEVEE PRESSES A KISS TO BAIRD’S HEAD) Get some sleep. Okay? We have a long day tomorrow. And Bairdy? BAIRD (FUTURE REVOLUTIONARY): Yes, Mom? EEVEE: You know that I love you, right? BAIRD (FUTURE REVOLUTIONARY): To the moons and back, yeah… Mom you promised nothing bad was going to happen to you. EEVEE: And nothing will. Good night, Baird. BAIRD (FUTURE REVOLUTIONARY): Night Mom. SOUND: DOOR CLOSING. BAIRD (FUTURE REVOLUTIONARY): Which button was it to end the recording? Was it this o– SOUND: COMMS BEEPS. RECORDING ENDS.

- EEVEE BELL. BAIRD BELL. must contact Frannie’s friend about both of those names. - Dome Wardens are indeed an old, out of date job. Eve is right, they’ve been replaced with robots. It’s actually kinda scary how right she was about things. About that, about Dark Matters probably covering everything up with New Kinshasa. - Cyrus and Eve sound so fun together. I can see why they got married and had a kid together. - Bairdy and Memma… right up there with Charls and Dearest. - Oh Baird, he was 12 when these recordings were made. 12. Just almost a teenager, not quite. Almost too old to be called a baby. - Eve loved Baird so much. She reminds me of my mother a bit. And she knew exactly what she was doing tucking Baird into bed that final time. There’s no doubt in my mind this is the last recording with her in it. She was taken away after this and never came back. The Dome Wardens did go on strike at some point according to Baird in other recordings, so did someone snitch to a Constable? Did she the Constable that almost caught her and Cyrus track her down? - I think that’s the most frustrating part of my job. No matter how much I dig and research, there are some things that will be lost to me forever.

#at some point this was like pulling teeth #so i may revisit it and rewrite some of it #or elaborate/add more #BUT im happy rn #funfact: the story eve tells is almost word for word what i wrote on buzzkillgirls post #about nureyev the legend vs nureyev the man #our angel of brahma #the penumbra podcast #private eye's keys go jingle jangle #the penumbra fanfic #a hotboy's writing #FUCKGING BIRDS NEED TO SHUT UP NOW SO I CAN SLEEP-

17 notes · View notes

lion-buddy · 3 months ago

Text

yay

#I hate drawing rn unfortunately but. I maybe able to finish something for anniversary #I also may try to stream it?? to like. force myself to finish it. Idk look out for a discord invite post at some point #Regardless I forgot to invite everyone who was interested in it lol. I need to revisit that

7 notes · View notes

batsplat · 6 months ago

Note

from the stuff i’ve heard marc’s former honda teammates (dani jorge and pol in their media careers but joan also i guess) say about him now that they’re racing is generally quite positive, both on a professional/riding level but also seemingly on a personal level? i’m wondering what you make of that given that, yeah, marc doesn’t seem like a very good teammate (unless you’re alex who i’ve left off this list). like MARC wants to separate on and off track stuff and it seems like all of these guys are willing too at least in retrospect, so he can’t have truly burned bridges with them. do you have any thoughts on that

(x, x) most riders are quite good at not burning bridges with each other! it's not like marc's competitors don't know that this stuff is kinda part of the game. I mean, all of marc's past teammates were also trying to assert themselves within the internal hierarchy... you can say that certain teammates engage in 'worse' behaviour than others, but, like, these people do understand they're supposed to be fighting each other! a baseline degree of nastiness is factored in and will be accepted to a greater or lesser extent by your rivals - especially when it comes to asserting yourself in intra-team power struggles. you might hate the other guy in the moment, but generally speaking once the active part of the rivalry is done with... you will probably get over it. marc's fellow riders are aware of how ultra-competitive marc is - and to a certain point they do respect it, not least because they're aware that this is part of the reason why marc has ended up with all those titles. it's like dani said, right, it's marc's strong suit. and in general, you do have to say that there's relatively few teammate pairings that devolve to the level of toxicity that it completely destroys the interpersonal relationship. you might need some level of preexisting animosity... most of the purely competitive sins can be healed with a little time

on the 'separating on-track and off-track' thing... well. this is kind of a question of how you define these things, you can say that marc generally speaking isn't going to massively hold grudges over isolated on-track incidents or whatever... but he doesn't just leave his fighting to the track, and personally I've also never felt he can entirely separate these things out in his mind. can you really say his professional and private relationships with other riders are completely detached from one another? mostly, he's opted to be pretty disengaged from his fellow riders as a collective, and obviously that's a good way to not take things too personally... it's all part of the game, isn't it? sometimes it's good to go with the straightforward approach: marc tells you he will make your life hell, he does indeed make your life hell, and then you both move on with your lives and can maybe actually have a pretty amiable relationship with him in years to come. he's not really defying your expectations at any point here, is he now? it's still a question for each of them as individuals as to whether they think that kind of behaviour is above board and acceptable or not... but everyone by now knows that marc plays these games, so it's not like they're going in blind

and it's not like other former teammates are constantly badmouthing each other. I mean... look, let's just cut to the chase here and bring in valentino as our reference point (as he is for the sport as a whole, which by the way does also help create a certain baseline of acceptability for marc's antics - maybe goated riders are just supposed to be dicks who knows). vale's premier class teammates were 1) nobody (2000-01), 2) tohru ukawa (2002), 3) nicky hayden (2003; 2011-12), 4) carlos checa (2004), 5) colin edwards (2005-2007), 6) jorge lorenzo (2008-10; 2013-16), 7) maverick vinales (2017-20), 8) franco morbidelli (2021), and 9) andrea dovizioso (2021). of these eight men (let's just exclude 'nobody' for now), do you know how many had serious complaints at any point about valentino as a teammate? that's right, it's one guy. one. some of valentino's other teammates, like hayden, checa and edwards, were even quite actively positive about their whole experience. this is the thing - you do need some specific circumstances for teammate rivalries to escalate from 'being kinda bitchy every other month' to 'actively fantasising about stabbing each other'. not accounting for natural interpersonal animosity, let's list some circumstantial factors that you need to get a bridge-burning-worthy level of feud:

you need a competitive bike. it is possible to beef about development direction when you're in the trenches (cf late 2010's yamaha, 2020's honda)... but generally speaking this is going to be quite low-level petty stuff, not actual war

you also need something that approaches competitiveness between teammates. if one teammate is unquestionably stronger than the other one, then it is very unlikely that you are going to get any open hostilities. the tension comes when the two sides are close enough to each other for the internal hierarchy to actually be a contentious issue (this is also basic self preservation... if you're the far weaker teammate then you do not want to make the situation troublesome, because then you will be the one to be fired)

following on from those first two things... well, it doesn't hurt to have a title fight in the mix. there are also other ways you can generate competitive stakes, like, for instance, if you and your teammate know that one of you will be out of a job soon. basically, it helps to have something to squabble over

it is maybe easy to forget how rare it is this century for teammates to be fighting directly for a title, let alone over the course of multiple seasons. only two 1-2's since the year 2000 and they're both for the factory yamaha's (though 2006, 2011-13 and 2017 did all prominently feature two factory hondas). which means that for valentino, the prerequisites were met just the once in his premier class career... and yes, the results were pretty memorable, but (topic! for! another! post!) it's worth pointing out that even that relationship was pretty much 'fine' whenever there was a sizeable disparity between the two of them performance-wise (2008 and 2013 are the most clear cut examples). I think the way I'd frame it with marc is that he has a bunch of mildly dubious strategies up his sleeve to assert himself within the team, which don't really deviate that far from what you'd expect from a rider of marc's calibre and only need to be escalated under specific circumstances. that doesn't mean he doesn't have the potential to be ruthless, but up until now it's mostly been a fairly 'acceptable' level of ruthlessness on the intra-team level... and not something that is likely to make other riders actually hate him

taking marc's teammates one by one... dani was the closest to meeting the bridge-burning prerequisites, though he was only a title rival in marc's rookie season. and marc did go further with him than he did with anyone else, and dani has made some pointed comments about marc's style as a teammate... but yes, he is fonder of marc these days. partly I'd just emphasise again that this is a fairly natural progression when you've stopped directly competing for long enough, and partly it's also just a question of individual personality - dani's not massively into holding grudges. then there's jorge, who... I mean, they might as well not have been teammates, given that jorge was either too slow or too injured to even be sharing any track space with marc. you have to put that one down primarily to circumstance, seeing as jorge's own track record on the teammate front isn't exactly spotless. marc and jorge beefing in 2019 would have been pretty dumb and also a massive waste of everyone's time in a year in which marc singlehandedly won the team's championship. even those two needed more to get things going

moving on to the dark years, pol and marc had an extremely stop-and-start partnership on a honda that was generally pretty uncompetitive... so the only stuff they could get ever so mildly irritable about were riveting incidents like 'marc saying pol wasn't the biggest championship threat' (neither of them were) or 'pol saying he'd copy marc's set up' (which proved entirely useless). not exactly title decider territory, is it now, and marc very much had pol covered as a challenger throughout their partnership. also, those two do have a longer history! they've known each other since they were kids and hold a pretty significant place in each other's careers. now that pol's more or less retired, it's natural there'll be quite a lot of sentimentality there - which will paper over any small cracks that appeared during those two years. and joan was a one year teammate at a time in which the bike was consistently close to offing them both. they only managed to start a sunday race together as teammates on thirteen occasions. it would take some serious effort to engineer a feud with that little opportunity, and, really, why on earth would you bother. maybe if honda had gone for rinsy rather than joan for the factory seat, it could've been a bit more prickly, but it's unlikely that it would have escalated beyond that

this is the thing, right, the only one of these partnerships that would have been worth burning bridges over was dani, and even there marc pretty much had him handled after the first season. in general, marc has been pretty clear on how he's not interested in making friends with the other side of the garage while the teammate relationship is ongoing... which is fine! there's some prominent-ish teammate pairings that are actually good friends, some teammate pairings where one of them is actively helping out and advising the other one, but some riders prefer to just keep their distance. it would have been a little silly of marc to start a feud with a teammate who is galaxies away from being a competitive threat, let alone a title rival, but generally it is possible to toe the line between 'attempting to suppress your internal rivals enough to stop them from becoming a problem for you' and 'taking radical enough action to make your internal rivals despise you'

especially in the post-dani era, marc never really had any need to push things too far... and, let's face it, how many of your teammate relationships end up with burnt bridges is also quite frankly a question of luck and circumstance. do you want to guess which top rider on paper has the worst track record this century with premier class teammate feuds, in terms of a) how many they've had, and b) how little public reconciliation there has been since the end of the rivalry?

yes, that's right, it's the first name that comes to mind when you're thinking of toxic and conflict-prone riders: andrea dovizioso. that old devil, constantly causing trouble. just couldn't stop undermining his poor, innocent teammates. can somebody please stop this ruthless bully before it's too late

I think you get the point. I would personally suggest that dovi is not in fact the worst teammate it is possible to have in a motogp top team. he just happened to find himself in a situation where he was teammates with two separate guys he did not click with at all, in situations that involved a pairing of riders who were (or had the potential to be) competitive with each other, as well as some proper stakes attached to the rivalry. in general, situational factors are going to determine this stuff more than anything else... and marc more often than not does have a reasonably good feel for picking his battles. he's flirted with the line, but he's mostly avoided crossing it. he hasn't had to

#'joan also i guess' hold on now anon that's his former teammate relationship that's most important to ME i love them...#elephant in the room is 'let's revisit this in 1.5 years time'. ik people will try to make that just about the vr46 factor but *shrug*#i kinda feel like maybe i should have mentioned in the casey/marc post that casey is arguably more of an outlier than marc is #like his alienation with the sport ran deep which is how you get him engaging in melandri slander who was pee one million in 2008 #y'know casey/jorge ducati was a real possibility for a hot second and my take on that would ALSO be 'hm yeah maybe not <3'#ESPECIALLY given that it's quite likely the incoming jorge would've been paid way way more than casey was ('09 ducati... let's not even)#AND given how yamaha had repeatedly burnt casey and then handed jorge the seat on a silver platter... like idk man!!#genuinely fascinating '10 counterfactual... i do like casey/marc but i've also game planned casey/vale and casey/jorge i'm a completionist #(either dani or vale would've likely won the title in that timeline. but crucially casey/jorge interpersonally would've been. well)#//#brr brr #alien tag #batsplat responds #morale tag #i need an ask tag so badly but i can't be bothered to back tag... i'll do it at some point #in my notes i did once actually rank the aliens by how much they'd suck as teammates but the order might be a wee bit controversial #i'm sorry to the guy i ranked number one but he did objectively have the worst track record like... it has to be said #i think u have like. different modes right. where how bad u are as a teammate is scaled to how big the threat ur facing is #now EYE actually think marc's not got a particularly *great* neutral mode either but it's not bridge-burning mode #also what even is a burnt bridge... i mean god knows even valentino and jorge are taking photos together these days...#jorge's still conducting autopsies of old beef every fortnight but otoh he's joking about motegi on instagram which is crazyyyyyy #you genuinely cannot. CANNOT convince me that if marc/jorge had had a title fight as teammates it wouldn't have been a MESS #there is literally no way. none whatsoever #and if i said dani had a higher number of strained premier class teammate relationships than valentino did... what then...

16 notes · View notes

e8luhs · 3 months ago

Text

finally getting to that stage where ive been away from my abuser for long enough that i can finally stop like... feeling bad for him or whatever even though he was ~saaaad~ when he was abusing me. i mean okay yeah i still feel bad for him sometimes i still feel guilty sometimes i still miss him sometimes because at one point we were friends jesus christ. but i dont feel so utterly plagued by it as much as before which is nice. unfortunately it does mean that my brain is stuck re-playing everything with a new light being shined over it for the several hundredth time but at least im not flagellating myself about it as much anymore. like im finally starting to think more about how i feel than about how he feels. that is something. kind of bare minimum but its something after ages of blaming myself for everything that happened

#txtpst #sorry for random insanely personal posts in the midst of everything i just have been in the fucking trenches lately <3 #i dont know. revisiting some things.#realized that all he really did was talk down and condescend to me. and treat me like i was insane for having emotions #im like okay what is there really to miss at this point. being manipulated? being lied to?#feeling like everyone i knew hated me because HE was the one shittalking me to them? having my boundaries disrespected?#feeling like i was worthless? like i had to prove that i deserved to exist. that i deserved to be cared about. etc #and god help me i do NOT miss the mold and bug infested basement he made me live in either!!!!!!#ill probably delete this at some point soon i just needed an outlet for my brainthoughts about it

10 notes · View notes

vampcaprisun · 11 months ago

Text

planning out a new tav who's eventually going to be with halsin and i can't decide if i want him to also romance astarion yet. i think they'd work really well together, but i've heard that if you romance someone else alongside halsin, they don't give you the chance to go with him at the end and i wanted this tav to be able to do that. at this point i'm just way too indecisive to choose.

#either way i've already decided that he and astarion get together at some point in some way #because he is (for backstory reasons) also immortal and will outlive halsin #and at the very least i can see them seeking each other out once they've outlived everyone else and they're all they have left #and either just being Platonic Life Partners™️ or having something romantic going on #but like. i also would not be against them getting together in-game #i've also considered having them flirt but ultimately choosing the 'i think you need a friend' option #and then it's not until that point way later on that they revisit being together romantically #idk. many options in my head and i am the most indecisive bitch you've ever met #astarion #halsin #bg3 #baldur’s gate 3

21 notes · View notes

aro-simp · 2 months ago

Note

Hi hi!!!!! I wanna hear more about Sean 'Psycho' Kastle, sooo how about these?: 📝 ,👯, ❤️, 🏷️, 💞, ☕️, 🛌, 👀, 🎞️, 🪐 if they're too many I'm sorry dkdjdk, just choose whichever you like most ! /gen

I'M SORRY THIS TOOK ME SO LONG TO ANSWER BUT I WAS SO EXCITED AT THE AMOUNT OF PROMPTS YOU SENT AHHHH

💞 and 🪐 I've answered twice already, and ☕️ once I'll add the links later :)

Answers under read more because I wrote a LOT

📝 - How would your story in canon go? How would you influence the events of the original story?

Psy's story can be roughly summed up as follows:

He's a young teen helping out at the local bar which his parents run during the first movie. Goose and Maverick encounter him a few times while he's serving drinks. He's generally pretty rude to everyone around but other than he has a few throwaway lines making fun of the pilots, the navy and the military in general he doesn't do much.

To the viewer he's really just there without any further explanation. There is one scene, as part of the "look what a great guy Goose is" happenings, in which Psy has a meltdown and Goose helps him out.

Similar to that we get a scene after Goose's death of Psy seeming confused and saddened by the fact Goose is no longer coming in.

But for the duration of the firts movie Psy has little to no influence on the story

There is a huge off screen segment that is (if at all) only alluded to in later canon. Psy does end up joining the Navy and gets a position as technician after he's deemed to be unfit for the role of aviator. He struggles a lot with his peers who only consider him strange and uncomfortable to be around, and his own self esteem.

Later when Rooster gets in the both of them befriend each other and Psy find his courage to be himself and an ass again. At roughly the same time Psy and Hangman get to know and hate each other.

When Rooster gets into the Top Gun program Psy tried to get in as technician as well, but was at first denied. Their contact broke up. Later, after Rooster already graduated from Top Gun, Psy did get an offer to work for the program, and he took it. During that time he meets Maverick again for a couple of weeks before Maverick is sent off again.

For Top Gun: Maverick Psy is a MUCH more prominent character.

Maverick bumps into him fairly early on and tells him about his worries having to teach at Top Gun again, and throughout the movie approaches him multiple times when he's in need of comfort.

And that's kinda where it starts getting canon divergent.

Before Psy and Rooster can get in direct contact with each other, Rooster finds out via Maverick tgat Psy's there at all. Rooster is fairly upset at how the two are seemingly getting along better than he is with Psy. Rooster and Psy are getting closer again and Rooster is also approaching him a few times when just needs someone to listen to him.

While everything is going on Rooster is increasingly plagued by the awareness that he is very much in love with Psy and getting extremely jealous over everyone, but especially Mav, who gets close to him. And even more plagued by a similar feeling of attraction towards Maverick. There is one scene of Psy taking a call from his older sister, and Rooster immediately asking him out about who he was talking to, assuming it'd be a girlfriend he didn't know about yet.

Meanwhile Maverixk has his whole thing with Penny going on whixh just leads to him very slowly and very anxiously realizing that he is not as straight as he hoped to be.

Somewhere... in between all of that, Psy befriends Bob and Phoenix between units. They originally approached him in the hopes that he could give them information on the plane that aviators usually don't get, and might get an advantage out of it. They all bond over their shared dislike of Hangman, and their experience as 'outcasts'. Psy tells them how impressed he is with their flighting capabilities and their ways in standing up against the others. And especially tells Phoenix how much he, as a trans man, respects her for being a woman in the navy.

Shortly before the big mission Rooster and Psy start dating. Which obviously kinda raises the tension of the mission.

At the very end of the movie Mav has his little "sorry Penny we have to break up also I think I'm bi and I need to cope with that firts before getting into a relationship again" moment

Idk that was a lot of text but I guess that sums it up somewhat 😭 I tried not to fiddle with the canon too much since I kinda like it. As opposed to some other selfships where I just... have to redo the entire worldbuilding.

👯 - What canon character are you most similar to?

I honestly have no clue I feel like Psy (and subsequently me) shares a lot of aspects with canon characters 😭

He's loud, obnoxious, stand-offish and thrives from attention, like Mav.

He's a goofy little jokester who loves to entertain others and is generally more on the cautious side (at least more than Maverick), like Goose and kinda Rooster.

There's a handful of similarities in his specific kind of caution he shares with Rooster, and the I don't need protection from you kinda attitude.

I personally used to identify a lot with the nerd/loser archetype that Bob has going on? So that seems fitting as well, especially for like the awkward starting phase Psy has.

I honestly have no clue

I kinda do tend to Goose/Rooster tho with their whole "I do possess the ability to sit down and entertain an entire bar without batting an eye but that doesn't mean I have to show off like that with everything cause in the end I'd really rather take the safe route" and Rooster's specific "my need to be 100% risk aware at all times is really what's holding me back from performing my best"

❤️ - How popular is you x your f/o? Are you a rarepair?

RoosPsy is definitely NOT a rarepair considering it is canon in my shipverse. I think it'd be of decent popularity. Not too big since I know a LOT of people are into Rooster and would rather ship him with themself (or Hangman). Tho I'd make the bold statement that I think it would be more popular than Hangman x Rooster. Just because it's canon and I don't like that ship. And because there's some jealous!Rooster content.

I think PsyMav is more of a... middle ground. It's not explicit canon, but it is heavily implied. The people who are into it are REALLY into it. The people who aren't are mostly super against it. I actually think there would be a lot of fighting around which Psy ship is the better one.

RoosPsyMav as a whole is a rarepair just by virtue of RoosMav being a very... polarizing ship, and it being poly. At least half of the people who ship it do so because they got sick of all the ship discourse and said "fuck it they all kiss each other". The, admittedly small, community mostly thrives of the fact that the ship is also... implied in canon. It's a rarepair but not a crackship.

GoosePsy (and all further combinations like GoosePsyMav or the yet unnamed Goose x Mav x Psycho x Rooster) is deep down the rarepair hole, largely considered a crackship as well. The few people who do ship it go kinda heavy on the teen!Psy x Goose aspect since that is all we ever see. This is a very controversy sparking ship. There is like one Goose Lives AU out there in which Goose mysteriously comes back and starts dating Mav and Psy, while the both of them are also dating Rooster, and there's a whole bunch of people who only ship it because of this one specific AU.

🏷️ - What is you and your f/o's ship name?

Well there's PsyMav (Psycho x Maverick), RoosPsy (Rooster x Psycho), GoosePsy (Goose x Psycho), RoosPsyMav (Rooster x Psycho x Maverick) and GoosePsyMav (Goose x Psycho x Maverick)

and of course the Yet Unnamed Foursome (Goose x Psycho x Maverick x Rooster) for which I need a name that hopefully conveys that it does not include Goose x Rooster and also just sounds a little nicer than GoosePsyMavRoos or GooseRoosPsyMav or RoosPsyMavGoose or...

🛌 - What tropes show up in fics involving your ship?

for any ship including Rooster definitely anything with jealousy and yandere themes. That aspect is something the fans would claw onto IMMEDIATELY.

for any ship I think any trope (tho in this case it's more... AUs. AU tropes) that sorta highlights different backgrounds like Tattoo Artist x Florist or a coffee shop AU. I think I'd actually quite like a coffee shop (or any sorta shop really... anything where Psy is more or less a constant with his own issues and Rooster and Maverick come in regularly and have to solve their own issues on the way kinda thing, cause that's kinda how it is in canon. Pilots and their emotional support technician/mechanic) AU 🤔

Ships including both Rooster and Mav have a lot of "forced" tropes, fuck or die, only one bed, maybe even something relatively tame like Seven Minutes In Heaven or Spin The Bottle. Tho most of these tropes kinda rely on just having two people...I guess?

Anything with Mav's also big on slow burn because he needs his time adjusting to "oh shit I'm queer"

Loads of found family in general but that's just because c'mon how can you not include at least a little bit found family in a top gun fic

👀 - How does your ship with your f/o influence both of your characterisations and the world? Would there be any interesting metas written about your dynamic?

For Maverick it obviously has this added layer that his way of interacting with women, his whole sleeping around and never having an actual committed relationship, is not just a part of him, but (implied) to be his way of denying his own sexuality. I personally also have the headcanon that Mav actually has a pretty low sex drive and for him it's really just about either the accomplishment or the intimacy of having sex with someone. I think his relationship to Psy also further highlights just how difficult it is for Mav to find a constant in his life, despite the fact he keeps returning to the same place and the same people.

Psy also functions as both an ignored voice of reason (being a middle ground both Rooster and Maverick can confide in), and a provocation, since he doesn't take their struggles with each other serious at all. So he does put emphasis on the direness and perhaps even the absurdity of their "rivalry".

For Rooster the ship kinda helps him to be a more three dimensional autonomous character. A lot about him is about how he's so much like his father that he's forced to live in a dead man's shadow, and the movie doesn't really do anything other than go "look how much he is like Goose", so his relationship to Psy would be kinda beneficial to establish him as a person of his own who's more than just the bloke at Top Gun who's Weird about Maverick.

The ship kinda destroys the whole "Rooster and Maverick only have each other" thing... which is a little sad. But it can also be seen as a different perspective on it as "Rooster and Maverick THINK they only have each other", which then again plays into how the both of them have a tendency to lose sight of the bigger picture.

I HOPE there'd be interesting metas! I love that shit!

Idk how far this counts as characterization or meta (it counts TO ME) but Psy sorta is the antithesis to the general Top Gun vibe (flying is the greatest ever/flying as a metaphor for freedom + we're all one team) since he can't fly and doesn't fit in like the others, he's not even part of the aviator team. He's a guy who really really wishes he were, but he's just not. He doesn't really belong in the story but he is there after all. Would it make a big difference if he wasn't? Not really! But that's kinda the point.

There's this other layer which might border on completely unreasonable which I kinda see in the ship of Psy sharing a lot of traits with Maverick and Rooster but in the end being nothing like them. He's disabled and trans, he's physically weak and generally kinda pathetic. Those are often things fiction tries to tell you are insignificant if you have the right mindset but mindset and character is really doing nothing here because in the end Psy is different.

🎞️ - What 'canon' scenes would the fandom point to as evidence for the validity of your ship?

For RoosPsy obviously them literally kissing and explicitly being a couple on screen, but also just everything that highlights Rooster's jealousy

For Mav it's more subtle, him opening up about his worries to Psy first, generally being more "shy" around Psy than others, and just little things like the way he looks at me, and first and foremost Mav, Rooster and Psy all being together in the end scene at Mav's hangar.

#this took me so long #and I might still need to revisit these answers at some point 😭#I just get too excited thinking about them AGGHHHHH #RoosPsyMav #RoosPsy #PsyMav #GoosePsy #GoosePsyMav

4 notes · View notes