#i have a fic buried in my drafts on my old account based on this song with MySpace Eddie
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littlexdeaths · 4 months ago
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myspace!eddie singing this:
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heereandthere · 1 year ago
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So. I'm Alive! (Life Update)
I logged onto this account to try and find something I remembered having buried in my drafts, and since this thing feels kind of like a time capsule to my time as a teenager, I felt like it was semi-appropriate to do a life update since the last time I was here.
When I used this account, I was between 15 and 16 years old, and I am now 20! Holy shit! I'm like. An adult-adult, and that's still completely bonkers to me. I used this account BEFORE THE PANDEMIC. The person who created this Tumblr just outright does not exist anymore and that's INSANE.
Not only am I a proper adult, but I'm also a COLLEGE JUNIOR. I'm so proud to tell you all that I am, in fact, studying theatre and theatre performance on a professional level. I'm the secretary for the theatre-based fraternity on campus and am currently president-elect leading up to the election we'll be doing at the next meeting when the current president steps down. I'm also a part of the theatre for young audiences program as an actor, in beginning rehearsals for my second year with them, and am slated to perform in both mainstage shows this semester (out of the 10 shows we've put on or are planning to put on since I came here, I've been cast/performed in 7!). And on top of all that, I'm slated to be performing in SCOTLAND in the foreseeable future! I'm a busy bee!!
Personal life has been kind of a clusterfuck, mostly courtesy of the pandemic. But I don't really want to focus on a very, VERY dark part of my life other than telling you all that I've finally gotten much-needed diagnoses and coping skills. My obsessive-compulsive ass got and will likely try to continue to be counseled, y'all! It's still an uphill battle, but I'll fight it until I take my last breath. :) I mean, hell, I got the motivation to CLEAN today! If that's not indicative of improvement considering what a mess my room has looked like for the past two years, I don't know what is!
I'm also very proud to report that I have a friend group I feel very accepted and comfortable in. It took a very long time for me to find my "people", and I really think I have here; the theatre department has been so kind and welcoming, and I really do love and cherish the people I work with. Several of them are graduating next semester, which is DEVASTATING, but I know they're all going to do amazing things. I wouldn't trade a single one of them for the world. The same goes for every single one of my non-theatre friends, for though they be few, I would do anything for each and every one of them. They've collectively made this whole "growing up" business so much easier to cope with.
Finally, and I make a point to talk about this because it changed my life so much, Be More Chill is now a chapter in my life I've left in the past. I still love the musical dearly, but it's become a part of my personal history rather than my current obsession and I've made my peace with that. It and musical theatre will always be a huge part of me (obviously, since theatre is my chosen profession), yet my interests have and will continue to change. That's life, baby!
And I want to cap this off by saying, if you paid any mind to this blog at any point, thank you. Thank you for indulging in a really weird journey piloted by a really weird teenager and thank you for paying mind to this post by an equally weird but better adjusted adult. I made this blog when I was at an incredibly low point in my life and having gone through the drafts and seen the unsent posts I wrote about what I was going through, I've made it... so insanely far since the last time I was here.
After a lot of hemming and hawing, I really do think it's finally time to let this blog rest, even though I already haven't touched it for quite some time. I'm still active on Tumblr, though, so if you're interested in getting back in touch or reading some new fic I've been working on for Good Omens, you can find me over at @antiquarianandunusual. You can also find me on AO3 under the same name, or Twitter as AmazingMrFell.
With that said, time for teenage me to rest easy. We made it, bestie. :)
~Heere (Sam)
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angstsfordays · 4 years ago
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A Lot Like Love
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Summary: Six months into joining the Avengers, you had your first clash with Steve Rogers. A prequel to Stay With Me.
Pairing: Steve Rogers x Avenger!Reader, Bucky x Reader (Platonic)
Warnings: FLUFF. ANGST. FEELINGS. A few bad words.
Word count: 6k-ish
Notes: I’m back with another Steve Rogers fic! I don’t know how I always easily write over 6k and I sometimes wonder if its too much! Honestly, I’m hoping to write more but I have been stuck with a writer’s block. Several ideas and draft were made but I can’t seem to follow through. Hope you will forgive me as I navigate this through! 😭
This story took me weeks as I felt it was not good enough but I managed to write a version that I liked. Hope you will do too! If you haven’t checked it out, I wrote a Dad!Steve story called No, Mama. Check out my masterlist too! 🥰
��Leave a like, reblog or comment to let me know what you think! 💖
———————————————————————
“I’m very disappointed in you, Y/N. I expected more from you.”
His words were laced with frustration. Your face scrunched up as you tried to prevent yourself from crying.
You wanted to show that you deserved a place among the ranks of the Avengers. Afterall, you had come to idolise Steve Rogers ever since you entered the academy and grew an admiration for the hero under the influence of your then mentor, Phil Coulson.
However, you have soon come to learn that the perfect image of the Captain changed when you got to work under directly.
You heard about how much of a hard ass he could be from Bucky and Sam. Steve Rogers had rules when it came to managing his team and expects his team members to follow his instructions closely. In your ignorant bliss, you believed that he was just acting like any other leader.
It was a mission targeting a rogue scientific facility that decided to engage in human experimentation involving missing and homeless people. The catalyst for this mission came from a sharp increase in missing reports. The local authorities believed it was out of their league to engage this facility given that it was backed by an influential figure.
The goal was to save those under captivity and hopefully arrest the mastermind behind this cruel act of humanity. A majority of the team was deployed with Steve, Bucky, Natasha, Sam, Wanda and yourself.
Sam, Wanda and you were placed on the team to bring the captives out while the Steve, Bucky and Natasha were tasked to take out security and secure data that could aid in finding who’s the one supporting the facility.
You were informed that everyone was held accounted for and that everyone can proceed to board the jet. The woman you held in your arms was still trembling as you moved to escort her to the Quinjet meant to transport the captives.
Her sobbing intensified as you started to feel her weakly clawing at your arms while mumbling something incoherent.
“What’s wrong? Hey, breathe in, breathe out.” You tried to get her to calm down so that she can speak properly.
“There’s someone else- Jacob, they kept him in the-” The woman tried her best to tell you as she took deep breaths.
“Where did they keep him?”
“There’s an isolation room. Jacob fought back as they tried to take away one of the little ones. They placed him in solidarity confinement for that. It’s located in the west wing of the-” You heart accelerated as you took in the information.
You knew that there was plans to burn the facility to the ground. You overheard one of the guards giving instructions to another before Natasha shot him.
“Everybody out, we’re done here.” Steve came into your view as he overlooked at the captives being escorted into the Quinjet.
“Please, he’s a young boy himself too. No more than 18 years old.” The woman pleaded with you. You nodded in response to show that you understood her worries and you made to move.
“Follow the rest back to the jet. I will get him.” Reassuring her once more, you took off into a sprint and allow your powers to push you off the ground in long strides towards the direction of the crumbling building.
“Y/N! What are you doing?!” You could hear Steve screaming after you. Pressing into your earpiece, you told him that there was one more person to save.
You could hear your comrades persuading you to stop as you see the whole building ablaze on fire.
“Y/N!” Steve shouting with both frustration and desperation, asked you to turn back but you ignored his instructions for the first time ever.
Hoping your instincts were right, you rushed to the west wing of the building. There were debris everywhere and you had to conjure a shield from your energy-based powers to protect yourself.
Your eyes lit up and seeing a plain door with a small peep hole.
“Jacob!” You called out, hoping that you got the right one and made to blow the door off its hinges before kicking it down.
You saw Jacob covered in soot from the flames and he was seen to be gasping for air, presumably from the inhalation of smoke. His hands reached out to you feebly and you pulled him closer under your protection.
“Captain, I found him.” You pressed into your earpiece.
“We will be there to extract the both of you.” His reassuring voice allowed you to take a breath as you cradled Jacob in protection. The oncoming debris alerted you that the building was going to fall and you might be buried underneath it. Frantically looking around for an exit, you knew the door you came in from was not an option.
As the four walls came crashing down, you let your powers engulfed you and Jacob in a protective bubble. You weren’t sure how long you could hold it out as you felt the impact of debris falling.
The call of your name brought you out of your temporary prayer and you could hear Wanda on the other side of the wall. You weren’t sure what happened next but when you opened your eyes, you saw that you were on the grassy ground not far from the facility.
Your senses alerted you of another impending explosion, thus you quickly shielded yourself from the impact by projecting a tranquilizing barrier to soften the impact of the blast. The next moment was a daze as you felt your face meeting the fresh grass. In a state of blur, you could sense yourself being lifted off the ground and carried into someone’s arms.
Your eyelids were heavy while you struggled to open them. The last thing you remembered was a voice calling out your name.
———————————————————————
You were jolted awake but all you see was darkness. That was when you realised that your eyes were not opened and you were only subconsciously awake.
You willed yourself to open your eyes but the bright line that pierced into your sight had you closing them immediately. Waiting a few more seconds, you slowly tried again and blinked to adjust to the light.
The next thing that your senses picked up was the beeping of a monitor. Then came the aches in your body. Letting out a groan, you slowly wriggled to move your muscles. Within the next minute, you managed to sit up.
You realised that you were in the medical wing of the compound. Flurried footsteps were heard as Dr Cho came into view. She started fussing around to check for your vitals. You were still in a blurry state of mind and only started to focus when she called your name.
“Y/N, how are you feeling?”
A groan answered her question as you held one side of your head.
“I suspect some traumatic aftershock from the blast but you seemed alright everywhere else. You’re lucky.”
“That’s my middle name.” You kidded as you saw your friends filing in the room. Dr Cho informed them of your condition and you could see the relieved expressions on their faces when they were told that you were mostly alright.
You blinked several times and saw Wanda came to sit by you, petting your head in a comforting gesture. You leaned in her warmth and had your head on her shoulder. Natasha came to sit on your other side and held one of your hands in hers.
“I will keep her under observation for a day.” Dr Cho informed before walking out of the room. Once she was gone, all attention was back on you.
“That was ballsy of you, kid.” Tony quipped as he gave you a once over. His heart dropped when he was informed that you lost consciousness in the field while working in the lab.
You gave him a mock salute and grinned in response.
“I don’t think you should be joking, Y/N. You almost got yourself killed.” Steve Roger’s voice took your attention. Oh boy, he looked fuming in his signature crossed arms pose.
“Hey, all that matters is that she’s okay.” Bucky interjected, sensing Steve’s bad mood. He looked over Steve with a concerned expression before moving to yours to show support.
“I did what I had to do, Captain.” Brows furrowed, you did not understand why Steve had to take that tone.
“No, I gave you clear instructions to come back. Instead, you just ran head straight into a blazing fire.” Steve pressed on in a reprimanding tone.
“She was just trying to the right thing, Steve. Anyone of us would have tried to do the same.” Sam tried to speak up on your behalf. Everyone was now alert of the hostility emanating from the Captain.
They knew Steve could have a temper if he wanted but what they didn’t know was why he seemed more bothered than usual. Everyone had made several mistakes in the field from time to time, but Steve never took it to heart. He overlooked them quickly and just reminded to do better next time.
It seemed that Steve was more affected this time round. Steve then asked for everyone to clear your room so he could speak to you alone.
Everyone started filing out, Bucky and Sam gave you worried looks while Wanda and Natasha gave you pats on your shoulders. Tony, being the nosy king he is, wanted to stay to see what happens next but was swiftly ushered out by Natasha. Vision who came to visit tried to give you a reassuring look to which you responded with a slight smile.
You didn’t see what the point was when the walls were made of glass and everyone could still what was going on. Once Steve saw the last person out and the door closed, he spoke up.
“We could have come up with a plan instead of rushing into a burning building that’s about to collapse any minute!”
“There was no time for a plan. I could do it! I’m trained for this!” You retorted in your defense. You believed you made the right call, how could you not take any action when you knew someone needed saving.
“I was an agent before I was an Avenger. I knew the risks!” You added onto your argument to justify your actions.
“Sometimes we cannot save everyone, Y/N. It’s not worth the risk!” Hearing Steve’s words riled something up in you. For the first time, you forgo the idolised image you had of him and saw him as a stubborn and unreasonable person.
“It’s worth trying! And I did it!”
“Have you thought of what everyone felt? Have you thought of what I felt when I see you running into the burning building? The odds may not always be in your favour.” Steve decided to take strides towards the end of your bed.
“Well, I beat the odds? Didn’t I?” As you were still sitting down on your bed, you craned your head to look up at him. You returned his intense glare with your own. Steve couldn’t believe your defiant words and he felt his temper reaching a boiling point.
“Don’t make excuses for your reckless behaviour. You should have listened to me!”.
“I’m sorry I don’t listen when I think something is unreasonable.” Your words came out cold and you heard the gasps from some of the team outside of the room.
Everyone couldn’t believe the exchange happening in front of them. Your sudden attitude change towards Steve caught them by surprise as well Steve’s display of temperament. In the time they know you, they known you were polite and respectful to Steve and they had always known Steve to be mild-tempered.
“You think asking you to stay away from your impending death is unreasonable?” Steve spoke calmly but in a way that showed restraint from bursting.
“You would have done the same, Captain. Ironic for someone who once marched into a fully armed Hydra camp solo.” If your previous words from before didn’t serve to tip Steve over the edge, your last one did. Steve’s eyes widened at your remarks as if he couldn’t believe you said that.
“Suspension from the field till I say so. Until then, I hope you’re looking forward to paperwork, Y/L/N.” Gritting your teeth in anger, you also started to feel the unexpected tears welling up in your eyes.
“I’m very disappointed in you, Y/N. I expected more from you.”
Ouch, those words hit you like a bullet train. What’s more, it came from Steve- someone you respected and admired.
You tried to blink them away and looked down on the surface of your bed. You knew you were close to tears and balled up your fists to stop yourself from losing your emotions. Opening your mouth, you were sure that you wanted to make another retorted but was surprised when nothing came out.
You looked out to the needle in your hand connecting to the IV drip. Reaching out, you pulled it out with the little strength you had. Steve was shocked to see what you were doing and his next sentence came out in a concerned tone compared to his previous stern one.
“What are you doing?”
You briefly ignored him as you got your legs off the bed. Setting them down gently, you made sure you had your bearings and stood up gingerly. You took a few steps to warm up your sore muscles.
Steve’s hands came up to rest on your arms and you looked up to his eyes full of bewilderment at your actions. You shrugged them off and returned a cold stare back, you then tried to move around him.
“Hey, where do you think you are going-”
“Oh, am I supposed to report my every location to you now?” You answered sarcastically. You made your way to press the button to open the glass door of your ward.
“I can leave, Y/N. You need to rest!” Steve was clearly flustered by what you were doing. He knew he crossed the line on his remarks but he was still concerned about your well-being.
You spoke up as the door opened to your friends staring on in disbelief.  
“Come on Tony, let’s order cheeseburgers and fries.”
You were apathetic to the reactions of everyone and especially one in particular as you tried to walk off in the direction of the kitchens, faking a strong front when really you were broken inside.
Steve Rogers can go piss himself.
———————————————————————
You recovered faster than expected but were restricted to less strenuous activities for at least a week by Dr Cho.
This only meant a week of boredom as you struggled to occupy your free time. You were worried how you were going to get around the compound with the possibility of coming into contact with Steve at any moment’s notice.
However, when Natasha told you that Steve was going on the follow up mission to apprehend the mastermind behind the science facility, you heaved a sigh of relief. Natasha and Sam were also tasked to go along with him as well.
Luckily, you still had Bucky, Wanda and Vision to keep you company. Tony made sure to stop by when he comes into the compound with your favourite takeout, he thought he could make up for Steve’s harshness on his part.
You told your friends about Steve’s ‘punishment’ and were genuinely concerned at its implementation. Taking you out of the field was one of the worst punishments for you. If you do not work in the field, then what kind of Avenger could you be? Plus, you hated paperwork the most. They always gave you a migraine.
In Steve’s absence, you were free to roam around as per normal. You went about your usual routine of catching up with your shows and just chilling with your friends.
You went out shopping with Wanda one day, the next you had engaged Vision in the fun of board games specifically the ‘Game of Life’ and you also played video games with Bucky the day after.
However, your momentarily bliss ended on your fourth day of rest when footsteps entered the common game room.
“Oh come on Bucky! You can do so much better!” You stated as Bucky tried to keep up with the steps on ‘Just Dance’.
“I don’t know why I let you rope me into this.” Your friend grumbled like an old man (which was befitting of his age) as he started shaking his hips awkwardly in accordance to the character on the TV screen.
“I’m helping you to keep up with the times! What better way through dance!” You countered his remark as you did a body wave.
“You’re lucky Sam’s not here, otherwise I would never-” Bucky spoke as he chuckled at your remark but he was not able to finish when he got interrupted.
“What the f-” The recognition of Sam’s voice had you pausing your game momentarily. You turned around to face what you would expect to be Sam only, but your eyes widened like a deer caught in headlights at who else you saw.
You froze in your actions and looked over to Bucky who looked equally mortified. Both of you were panicking for different reasons.
“Friday, you got that on camera?” Sam started balling over at how he witnessed the usual stone-cold Bucky dancing. Bucky dancing like a modern millennial?! Sam grinned like a Cheshire cat.  
You started blinking nervously as you craned your head to see Bucky positively fuming and you could even detect Bucky growling.
“Hey! That’s not nice, Sam! Bucky was just accompanying me because I was bored.” You tried to intervene as you placed a hand on Bucky’s arm to reassure him.
“But did you see his moves, I mean-”
“Bored? Didn’t you start on the paperwork I assigned you?” Steve’s voice cut into the conversation like a knife. The atmosphere in the air suddenly shifting towards a tense one. You looked down on the floor to avoid answering Steve’s question.
“I’m still resting from the previous mission. Dr Cho’s orders.” You formulated an answer after a moment of silence.
“Clearly.” The hint of sarcasm in Steve’s voice was unmissed by everyone in the room, proving to further embarrass you than you already are.
“You can start on collating the report from the previous mission.” Taking a nervous gulp down your throat, you looked over at Bucky who eyed you sympathetically and then over to Sam who kept quiet.
Even he knew when to read the room when Steve was putting on his captain hat.
You begrudgingly dragged yourself to the level where the open office is. With Friday’s help, you retrieved the documents that you needed to kickstart the report that Steve assigned you. You began to work while listening to your music playlist and soon find yourself immersed in the zone.
The music in your ear pods was blasting in such high volume to drown out your surroundings that you could not hear Friday calling for your attention. Your jerked in your seat when you felt a tap on your shoulder and looked over to see Bucky.
Taking out your ear pods, you paused the music playing on your laptop.
“What’s up, Buck?”
“I’m calling you to come to dinner. Friday told us you have been here for six hours.” Oh, you didn’t know you had been here at your desk for that long. Looking at the time on your computer, you saw that it was already closing to half past seven in the evening.
“Come on, Wanda and Vision made dinner.” Bucky pulled you out of your chair and placed his hands on your shoulders to guide you out of the office.
“Look, Y/N-” Bucky let out a sigh as the two of you made your way to the elevator. “I’ve known Steve forever and believe me, he’s not out to get you.”
“Oh yeah, what about what happened earlier?” You asked Bucky with a defeated look while leaning your back on the wall.
“You have to understand from his perspective. Being a leader is more than just leading, a leader takes care of everyone in his team. How do you think he felt when he knew you were in danger?” Bucky’s question made you reflect and realized that you had only be thinking about yourself.
“He would have felt the worst if we lost you because you’re his responsibility.” Bucky continued while placing a comforting hand on one of your shoulders. A sense of guilt had sunk inside your heart upon listening to what Bucky said.
You awkwardly looked down on the floor as you did not know what to say. Hearing Bucky’s words, you realised that you had only been thinking about your own perspective and failed to recognise what people around could have felt.
Bucky knew you were deep in thought and reflection as you kept quiet. He felt that he wanted to explain on behalf of Steve since he believed that you might have not understood where Steve was coming from.
You weren’t the only one affected from the argument. Steve didn’t have it any better. Steve tried to conceal his emotions with neutral expressions but Bucky saw that his best friend would always perk up when your name was mentioned amongst the team for the past weeks.
Bucky saw Steve standing outside your door the day when you were cleared to go back to your room. It seemed like Steve wanted to talk to you but couldn’t bring himself to actually knock on the door. When he was caught, Steve brushed it off like he was just passing by. But Bucky knew better.
Bucky had his hands around your shoulders as he led you towards the common eating room. You could hear the voices of your friends chattering and instantly picked up the smell of lasagne inviting you to take quicker steps towards the room.
“I smell lasagne!!!” You skipped in joy towards Wanda who was letting the lasagne cool on the table. Wanda gave you a bright smile and did a small cheer dance,
Your cheery persona, however, dropped when you turned to see who was sitting at the dining table across you. Steve looked up at you with an unreadable expression as if to gauge your reaction at the sight of him.
Wearing your heart on your sleeves, you couldn’t hide your emotions when you saw him. Half of you still felt upset at Steve’s cold attitude while the other half was consumed by guilt.
“Come on, Y/N. You must be starving after doing so much paperwork.” Bucky tried to sit you down but you resisted his push. You refused to let your feet move but it was a laughable attempt when he was a super soldier and could have just easily picked you up.
You were not ready to face Steve yet as you were still uncomfortable from your previous exchange.
With your quick wit, you brought your hand up to one side of your head and crouched over in fake pain. “I’m not feeling so good, I think I’m going to head back to my room-”
“What? But Wanda made lasagne! You live and die for it!” Sam exclaimed from the side and you cringed when you realised that you had to come up with a better excuse.
“Oh, I must have gotten a migraine from all that paperwork. I think I need to lay down, I don’t think I can see-” You held yourself back before the truth came out but you peeked over and could see that Steve didn’t buy your nonsense.
 “The lights.” You tried to quickly cover up your verbal flounder. “Oh, the lights are making me dizzy.” Spinning out of Bucky’s hold, you kept up your act by muttering excuse after excuse. You tried to ignore the calls of your friends as you briskly walked back to your room without turning back.
Letting your body fall onto the comfort of your sheets, you let out a big sigh as you looked up at the ceiling. Your eyelids felt heavy as you started blinking, you knew you were worn out from just typing at your desk all day.
The next moment you woke up, it was still dark outside your window. You reached for your phone and saw that it was around midnight. The grumbling in your stomach served to remind you that you haven’t had dinner.
You made to wash up first before making your way to the kitchens. Friday had informed you that everyone had retired to your rooms. Knowing that you were alone, you walked with ease in search for food.
Your eyes spotted something at the table and saw that Wanda had left you a portion of dinner. Putting it in the microwave to heat up, you took your phone out to find something to watch while you ate dinner.
You propped your phone up against a tissue box and dug into your dinner. The comfort food made you feel good and you went over to the fridge to grab a bottle of beer.
Engrossed in the video playing in front of you, you didn’t realise someone in the shadows who was watching you giggle at something funny playing on your phone.
———————————————————————
Steve regretted the way the words came out of his mouth. He was supposed to check if you were alright after the incident but he was taken aback by the turn of events.
Normally, you were polite and respectful towards him. You two had friendly exchanges but he could tell you were more comfortable with the rest of the team.
It riled him up when you challenged him and refused to admit your mistakes. You did not realise how worried everyone was when you ran ahead to the burning building. The panic rose when there were the minutes of silence that followed after he tried to comms you.
Everyone in the team looked to each other in worry and were at a lost on what to do. Steve brought Wanda and Bucky over to the supposed location where you might be at. The two looked over Steve for his next instructions.
Your voice coming up on everyone’s ear piece was an answered prayer when he knew you were safe. Steve got Wanda to blast a hole in the side of the wall. That’s when he saw you huddling over the young boy, using your own body to shield him while extending one hand to conjure an energy-based force to protect from fire and debris.
Wanda used her powers to bring both of you out and settled you on the ground. Even to the last moment, you mustered the last bit of energy to increase the projection of your shield and received the last brunt of the blast from the explosion.
That’s when you collapsed back onto the ground. Steve immediately went to pick you up while Bucky helped the young boy. Your eyes were half closed as Steve could see that you tried to stay awake but eventually fatigue must have gotten the best of you.
“Y/N!” Steve tried calling out you to ensure that you were alright. Holding you securely bridal style, Steve made sure to bring you back to the jet fast.
Steve’s memory then went back to the moment where you looked like you were crying. In his fit of anger after you dared to talk back for the first time, he decided to throw out a punishment to put you in your place.
Steve didn’t realise the impact of his words when you stared back with glossy eyes. You had an unreadable expression but Steve was sure you were upset. When you reached out to take out your IV drip, Steve panicked at your sudden actions.
He tried to stop you from leaving, he knew that you were still weak considering that you were knocked out for a whole day. When you said you couldn’t stand to be around Steve, Steve swore his heart sunk for a moment.
How were you able to have such an effect on him?
Then you walked out of your ward, asking Tony to order cheeseburgers. Steve didn’t know whether to scoff or laugh at that moment. Of course, you will do that after waking up from losing consciousness in the field.
When Steve walked into you and Bucky dancing, he started to experience a strange feeling. What could possibly be an endearing sight didn’t sit well with him. Steve saw how happy you were in Bucky’s company and how Bucky looked the same.
Steve knew Bucky rarely acted so carefree in front of others but always somehow looked visibly relaxed in your presence. He always known you two had got along well but somehow the sight in front of Steve only made him feel bitter.
Why do you keep everyone close but only him at bay? Steve’s hopes for you were only further dashed when you decided to skip dinner, knowing that you had to be in the same room as him. Did he really made you hate him that much?
Steve only wanted what’s best for you, he thought he could had lost you in the fire. When he saw you could still joke around after almost tossing your life aside, an anger started building inside him. How could you still be so cheerful when he was here worried sick about you?
When Steve saw you eating dinner alone past midnight, his heart sunk at the sight. He didn’t want you to hide from him forever. Yes, it’s fine if you do not want to see him but you should not be deprived from being around the rest of team.
The next week had you finishing reports and helping out with other people’s paperwork. You were positive that you were going to break down from the sheer boredom of it all.
You decided to bring your laptop around to do your work instead of being bounded by your desk. This got you to be creative in the many spaces you can choose to work in among the large grounds of the compound. The only condition was that Steve was not going to be there.
You began with working in the common room but it was too lonely with everyone else to do their own things in the afternoon.
You then moved to occupying a small desk in Tony’s lab. You found his company enjoyable as you tried to multi-task between typing and gossiping. However, when one of Tony’s experiments nearly caused you to be fried by an electrical outburst, you decided to scout for another workspace.
You then crashed your team’s training room and decided to do your work in a corner of the room. You were slightly irritated when Friday informed you that you were not allowed to return to training under Steve’s orders when you entered the room.
You were positively fuming and humiliated while your friends looked at you with pitiful eyes when they heard it too.
How dare he! To think you were felt bad when you listened to Bucky’s defense of Steve. Turning your feet, you decided to leave the room when you were suddenly pushed back by a collision with a big mass.
You fumbled as you nearly dropped your laptop but someone beat you to it.
“Thank you-” You spoke gratefully before you looked up to meet the eyes of the one person you vehemently wanted to avoid.
Steve had a look of surprised as he realised that he bumped into you while you looked on at him with annoyance. Seriously, you thought Friday had told you that he was in a meeting!
“Y/N-” Steve tried to break the silent exchange but you were not having any of it.
“Jerk.” You countered in greeting before you pushed past him to walk out of the door.
Steve looked over to see his friends on the training grounds who witnessed the hostile exchange. Most of them tried to maintain neutral expressions but Bucky was the only who gave him a look that said, ‘Go after her punk!’.
You started stomping your way to the elevator so that you can return to your own room. What a bad day, you thought as you shook your head.
“Y/N!” Your ears perked up at the call of your name and you started to panic when you realised that Steve was calling after you.
Looking back, Steve was taking long strides to catch up with you. Without much thought, you didn’t know why you started to make a sprint for the elevator doors and started punching the button as if it could make it arrive faster. You really did not want to deal with him at this moment.
To your relief, the elevator came onto your floor within a few seconds and you immediately threw yourself in and asked Friday to quickly close the doors.
“Friday! Hurry up, please!” Hearing your words, Steve quickly countered your instructions.
“Friday, hold the door for me!” Your eyes widened when the seemingly closing doors started to back up and open for Steve.
“Oh come on! Friday, I asked first!” You whined when Friday informed you that Steve outranks you and hence, she had to follow his instructions instead. Why is she such a stickler?
Thinking fast, you decided that you could still exit the elevator before Steve came in.
Oh, how foolish were you to think you could outrun Steve Rogers?
You were enhanced but not one of your powers included superhuman agility. Steve grabbed you by your shoulders and nudged you back into the steel and glass box.
As the elevator started moving, there was only the sound of your panting and you thought you could burn a hole on the floor with how intensely you tried to stare down and not at Steve.
“Hey, Y/N. Please listen to me, alright. Don’t leave.” His voice was earnest and felt yourself weakened, you gave in and decided to look up into his crystal blue eyes. You swore he was staring into your soul and you realised that it was much too intense.
You tore your eyes away from his and tried to look anywhere else. Two hands then came to rest on the side of your face and held you in place.
Adrenaline was rushing through your veins at the most intimate interaction you ever had with Steve and you could hear your heart beating wildly. Taking a nervous gulp down your throat, you were waiting to see what Steve was going to do.
When Steve was sure he had your attention, he then spoke.
“Look, I’m sorry. I know I have crossed the line the other day but-” Steve suddenly paused and appeared in deep thought to continue his next sentence.
“I never want to hurt you. I never meant to. I’m just so frustrated.”
“About what?” You were surprised that you could say anything. Your arms clutched your laptop tightly to your chest as if it could act as wall between you and Steve.
“About how you can easily say that you would risk your life on a whim. Why?” Looking back at Steve with tears in your eyes, you started recalling an old memory.
“When I was a SHIELD agent, I was on a mission to save a hostage. My team took out the guards and I was supposed to get her out.”
“The guard set the place for self-destruction, they didn’t care of what they left behind. I couldn’t find her room in time. Phil pulled me out as the walls are collapsing, he knew I would be buried along with her if I didn’t get out.” Your voice came out trembling. Steve then moved his hands from your face to the sides of your shoulders, holding you close in comfort.
“I can still hear her screams, Steve. I was so close to finding her, if only I had another minute….” You looked up at him once more, a single tear falling down your cheek while you tried to refrain yourself from breaking down completely.
“If I had been faster, stronger, I could save her. She was only nine. She was abducted because she was enhanced and they were going to exploit her for her powers….” Shoulders slumped, you let yourself fall to the ground on your knees as you felt a sense of weight off your shoulders.
Steve observed you for a moment before joining you on the floor, he reached out to take your laptop from your hands and placed them on the ground.
“I’m sorry, I now understand.” Steve gathered you in his arms and you allowed yourself to return the same gesture.
As you closed your eyes, you felt several more tears falling and leaving wet spots on Steve’s sweater. You tightened your grip and you heart skipped several beats when you felt him doing the same.
“It’s not your fault, Y/N. You tried your best.” You could feel the rumble of Steve’s chest as he spoke and you sought comfort in the warmth he provided.
“You did a good job. You always do.” Steve used his thumb to wipe of the tears off your face and gave you one of his beautiful boy-ish smiles.
“I’m so glad you returned to me-us safely.” Why do you feel heat rushing to your cheeks when he said that? Why does he suddenly seem so wonderful at this moment?
Your mind started whirling at how Steve’s words and actions managed to tug at your heartstrings? What was happening?
“Lives are lost every day during the fight but I don’t know if I will take it if you were gone. You are an important member of the team.” Steve’s words stroke a chord within you and you weren’t sure of what to say in return.
You decided to nod in understanding and Steve took well to your response. What happened next took you off guard as Steve leaned in to press his lips on the side of your temple.
Steve now knew the reason behind your actions and he was angry at himself for judging you too quickly. How you managed to survive in this line of work with such softness and vulnerability baffled him.
Such emotions might be viewed as weak but Steve recognised this to be a source of strength, for you do not fight to kill but help others in need. That’s why Steve had not regretted his decision to bring you into the team, you embodied the very essence of being an Avenger.
Unknowingly to Steve yet, you also have grown to be someone important to him as well.  Someone he hoped that will stay by his side for a long time.
———————————————————————
“You know this is an infringement of privacy, right?” Natasha spoke as everyone gathered to look at the hologram screen that Tony put up in the training room. Steve and you had stood up to leave the elevator with smiles on both of your faces.
Steve had his arm around your shoulders as he led you out while you smiled adoringly at him.
Tony shrugged as he justified his actions. “Hey, had to make sure they didn’t kill each possible, am I right?”
“That’s least likely unless you are talking about these two here.” Natasha nodded to Sam and Bucky who stood side by side.
“Man, it seems I like I’m watching a romantic soap. Gross.” Tony waved off the screen before walking off.
Everyone dispersed soon after while Bucky continued to stand still at his original spot as he stared off into where the screen once was.
Seemed a lot like love, Bucky thought as he witnessed the development between his best friend and the girl that managed to find a way into his pal’s heart.
———————————————————————
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ask-joyce-byers · 5 years ago
Note
Fic thought: Jim asked Joyce to dinner and made it an open invitation - she doesn't have to go if she isn't comfortable. She thinks she isn't going to, but shows up at last minute (Based on those TRAILER GIFS...)
{I am so sorry this took me AGES. Hope it was worth the wait!}
He’dasked at the worst possible moment. Not only had the house been tornapart beyond anything that the demogorgon could have caused, butJoyce had been unable to negotiate any kind of early leave fromDonald and found herself at the pharmacy until 6 each day, hurryinghome to check in on Will, Jonathan, and Nancy who was more often atthe house than naught, lending a hand with the packing and generallybeing an all-around sweetheart. She’d made sense of eons old junkthat Joyce had forgotten they had, merrily joined Jonathan intorching the cache of Lonnie’s crap that had been forgotten in thetop of a backroom closet, and by the time she arrived home on thefirst Thursday in June, the house was ghostly bare, their stuffhaving been packed and taped and hauled out to the trailer boughtcheap from the McCorkle’s. It was a long drive to Ohio and thecousins of hers, kids of her crazy Aunt Darlene, rest her soul, butit would be good for Will. Good for all of them, to live quietly, ina town not pervaded by the sinister and otherworldly, to have a breakat last. Lord knew they all deserved it, Will especially.
He’dasked at the worst possible moment. Not only had the house been tornapart beyond anything that the demogorgon could have caused, butJoyce had been unable to negotiate any kind of early leave fromDonald and found herself at the pharmacy until 6 each day, hurryinghome to check in on Will, Jonathan, and Nancy who was more often atthe house than naught, lending a hand with the packing and generallybeing an all-around sweetheart. She’d made sense of eons old junkthat Joyce had forgotten they had, merrily joined Jonathan intorching the cache of Lonnie’s crap that had been forgotten in thetop of a backroom closet, and by the time she arrived home on thefirst Thursday in June, the house was ghostly bare, their stuffhaving been packed and taped and hauled out to the trailer boughtcheap from the McCorkle’s. It was a long drive to Ohio and thecousins of hers, kids of her crazy Aunt Darlene, rest her soul, butit would be good for Will. Good for all of them, to live quietly, ina town not pervaded by the sinister and otherworldly, to have a breakat last. Lord knew they all deserved it, Will especially.
Thetiming was even worse considering that Jonathan was waiting for her,something she’d been expecting these past few months, his weightshifted to his far foot, offish, ready to bolt in the way she knewall too well, and she got out of the car with the words ready on hertongue.
“Justtell me.”
Andhe’d gone in to embrace her, murmuring tearful things about how hecouldn’t leave Nancy, how he didn’t want to be separated, to not gowith Will, but that she needed him, and he needed her, and as Joyceheld him close and felt her own tears soak his tshirt she knew it wasright. He was making his own decisions, and didn’t want to stop him.
“Haveyou talked to Will,” was all she managed, and when he nodded shefelt some relief at that. The two of them were close, closer than anyother brothers she knew notwithstanding the age difference, and ifWill had been alright with it, then so was she.
Andthen the clock had read nearly seven and she swore under her breath,lighting a cigarette instead of stopping for dinner, dragging thelast of the boxes from her bedroom to the living room, untaping onethat was unlabeled and searching futilely through for what kind ofmethod her madness had been the day she packed it, when a knock onthe doorframe came behind her, and a voice she’d know anywhere.
“Helloo?”“Hop,it’s not a good time,” she began, turning round, and when she didshe froze in place for a moment, taking him in head to toe.
“What’reyou dressed up for?”He shrugged, the surest way to know that afib was coming, and he smoothed the creases of a bright printedsummer shirt, only halfway covered with a light blazer, the shoulderstoo narrow for his broad build, the sleeves too short, like hisuniform shirts.
“Figuredyour last night here needed to be something special.”“Hop, Idon’t have time for something special, I have to get all this loaded,and I have to help Jonathan get his stuff sorted out, take his boxesover to the Wheelers, and then I have paperwork to drop off at thelaw office, and – damnit, I knew we had stamps somewhere, now whereare they…”
“Joyce.”His voice was low, measured. “You’ve worked all day long, you canafford to take a few hours off for dinner.”
“Dinner?”Her eyes were wide when she spun to look at him, cigarette forgottenbetween her fingers. “Oh, I don’t need dinner, there’s too much todo.”“Then let me help you do it, and then we’ll go todinner.”“No.” Her words were firm. “Hop, just….” Thelump grew in her throat unbidden, and she turned away to hide thetears that threatened to swim in front of her vision, wavering himinto a tall mess of pink and teal and blazer. “I gotta get thisdone. We leave first thing, Tina and David are expecting us.”
“Andyou’ll leave first thing. Just… lemme help you.”
Hergaze snapped to his when she heard his voice snag, the same lump thatnow threatened to overwhelm her own voice catching in his throat, andshe shook her head, blinking back the tears.
“No.Oh, no…”
“Joyce,”he began, and it was more a haggard whisper than a name. “You’resure about this.”
“Hop,we’ve been over this, I can’t – we can’t go back now.”
“Youcould. You could stay.”
“Youpromised you wouldn’t try to change my mind.” She stabbed a fingerthrough the air, voice catching, a breathy huff that was half a laughand half a sob. “You promised.”
“Ipromised I wouldn’t try to talk you into staying for me,” he began.“ But what about for you. For Will -”
“Willis the reason I’m doing this,” Joyce began. “He deserves a placewhere he can be safe. I’d give up anything to give that to him.Anything.”
“Iknow.” Hopper’s eyes were shadowed, dark pupils nearly overblowingthe blue. “I know because I’d do the same for El. I just wanna keepher safe. I want to keep all of you safe.”
Joyceshook her head, lips folded tight. “You can’t,” she managed atlast, voice pure air. “You can’t… promise anyone that. Especiallynot me.”
Ifhe looked hurt at that, she didn’t see, turning back around to thebox and wrestling the flaps closed, finding her marker and scrawlingon the top MISC, which now accounted for at least seventy percent ofthe boxes on the trailer, and dragging a stretch of tape across theopening. He didn’t speak again until she had finished, and she didn’tturn, simply heard his voice reach across the empty, echoing livingroom.
“Alright,then. But if you change your mind… I’ll be downtown. Come over ifyou can.”
Joyce’seyes wilted shut. Words came to the tip of her tongue and then leftagain, and she heard him turn in the doorway, boots loud on theporch, descending the steps, and then she heard the rattle of theBlazer backing from the driveway, and heading back along the mainroad toward Hawkins.
Onlythen did she really cry. The house was empty, Jonathan had gone tothe Wheelers to get Will, and every shred of what this place used tobe was stripped from the walls. Even the hole she’d hacked had beenpatched better, better than Lonnie’s bullshit boards nailed in place,Hop had made sure of that to increase the value of the house. ClaudiaHenderon had recommended a realtor from Loch Norah, they had comedown and appraised it, and none of it seemed real until now. Herhome. The home she’d fought for to make payments every month, thehome she owned at last to raise her boys in, the town she’d neverleft. Had graduated high school with Jim Hopper, had watched him goto war, lose a child, come back and gain a family all over again. Andit felt like something in her had died, that they were uprooting now,and moving to Ohio. Someplace for Will to be safe.
Andthe sorrow turned to anger, anger at those who had caused this placeto be so unsafe, who had put her boy through hell and back and whowere now responsible for the reasons she had to leave her home andthe only place she’d ever wanted to call home. Clenching her fist,she buried it in the cardboard of the box by her side, and all sheaccomplished was a sharp pain through her knuckles and a small dentin the box, and Joyce sat down on the floor, knees pulled up to herchest, and let the silence of the place overwhelm her. One last time.
He’dreally asked at the worst possible time. The clock neared nine by thetime she’d loaded the boxes, sorted out Jonathan’s and helped Willfind what he’d need for the drive north. She was still in her workclothes, exhausted, overwrought, and gotten everyone set up in theirpallets for the last night in their house. Jonathan had agreed tostay, one last night, and had curled up beside Will, their pillowsnearly touching, breaths synchronous in sated sleep.
Andso she’d gone to the mirror still hanging on the inside of her closetdoor and fingered her hair into some semblance of order. She’d takenoff her lab jacket and folded it on the empty window sill, remindingherself to drop it by Donald’s tomorrow on their way out of town. Hemight be able to use it for a new employee, who knew, and she had topick up her final paycheck, a hundred fifty dollars if she was lucky.They’d need it for gas.
Smoothingjust her undershirt, wishing she’d kept out something nicer than thejeans she intended to wear tomorrow for the drive, Joyce took in adeep breath, and pressed her eyes shut. Memories flooded back, of thenight before all the boys who had been drafted shipped out, of beingtwenty and intrepid, of knowing that Jim Hopper would do anything toavoid extra homework but refused to evade his country’s draft. Matterof honor, he’d said, as if hiding from Mr. Cooper had been anythingelse. She hadn’t gone. The send-off party had been alcohol andcheering, American flags and tear-stained hankies, and she hadn’tfelt up to it. To see him kiss Chrissy Carpenter, and throw her awink, when the week before they’d sprawled on blankets at the quarryand fallen asleep in each other’s arms. When he’d whispered, “Yougotta forgive me, Joycie. It’s never been anyone but you.” She’dforgiven him, but she hadn’t gone. And every time she thought of justhow many boys had died over there and wondered if he would be next,she regretted it.
Shewasn’t going to regret not going, this one last time.
Clamberinginto the car, she drove straight to Hawkins downtown, the spots hecould be limited, and her luck held sway when she pushed open thedoor to the sandwich bistro and spotted him there in a far booth,dressed in that damn white blazer, sitting up at her entry, his eyesalight.
“SorryI’m late,” she murmured, making her way over, clenching her pursefar too tight. “Had… a lot to get done. And sorry I’m not dressedup. Everything was packed.”
Hestood as she approached, taking her in from head to toe, his facegiving away nothing but admiration, and Joyce felt the color mount toher cheeks.
“Stop.I look like a mess.”
“Youlook beautiful,” he returned, reaching his arm out and drawing herclose, pressing a kiss to her forehead. Leaning back, he met hereyes, and an apology fell from Joyce’s lips again. “You reallydidn’t have to wait for me -”“Been waiting twenty-six years.What’s a few more hours.”
“Nowthat’s a lie, Jim Hopper,” Joyce retorted, rolling her eyes.“Twenty-six years….”
Andbefore she could protest further, he leaned in and sealed his lips tohers in a kiss, holding her close, nothing in the room existing butthis moment. Joyce felt her breath catch, and her eyes wither shut,melting into his embrace and when they finally broke for air, shesearched his gaze with something near disorientation, a laugh makingits way from her throat.
“Ifyou do that anymore I might have second thoughts about Ohio afterall.”
“Thatwas the plan,” he murmured, and kissed her again.
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rainbowravioli · 8 years ago
Note
Hello! So I've pretty much gushed over all your meta posts about YOI. You mentioned in the preface to your Ep. 12 breakdown meta that you read fanfiction every night. I wanted to know what your favorite and most treasured YOI fics are? I need all the reading I can on these precious babies because my heart is too full but I need to make it fuller. Thanks!
Oh god someone paid attention that embarrassing disclaimer. Thanks for enjoying the meta though.
I don’t have an ao3 account so it took me a while to hunt down all the fics I wanted (and I’m still missing things T-T). I’m so sorry this is late! 
Also these are all Victuuri because that’s the one tag I frequent…So, in no particular order.
Hallelujah - mizael
Viktor’s thumb on his lower lip, his fingers resting on Yuuri’s neck.
This was posted when only episode 1 had aired and yet it’s this fantastically written insight on Yuuri that still holds up even after watching the rest of the season.
Sleep With Me - YurikoNeko (AlaxxisSade)
The story of how Yuuri slowly gets used to Viktor, in a way.
This is dialogue only and yet I could picture every scene as I read. Really cute and funny.
Momentum - YankingAwry
Here was how the scene went in Yuuri’s head:
Victor, frozen, clueless: the ruins of a smile on his face. But Yuuri, I thought you knew! It was only to surprise you. It meant nothing more-
Yuuri: spine limp, head hanging, tears streaking down his face and collecting at his chin, dripping like an old faucet onto the ground. Words exploding out of his mouth, wet, glottal: Then just stop! Stop doing things that mean nothing to you, and everything to me!
Yuuri’s anxiety doing its thing and Yuuri overthinking things like a pro. Really made my heart ache but ended up delivering on the fluff side of things.
The Magic of Your Sighs - kevystel
Makkachin’s asleep by the time Viktor reaches the clinic. Viktor sits down on the sofa beside him, buries his face in Makkachin’s fur and breathes.
Victor’s side of the story in episode 9. Great atmosphere. Goes from heartbreaking to really funny to just…warm. This is part of a series and all parts are good but I’m just particularly fond of this one.
Yuuri Katsuki Secret Route Walkthrough/FAQ - Metis_Ink
The otome community uncovers the mysteries of the Nikiforov-Katsuki Route, one of the most difficult and overly-complicated routes in a game supposedly just about ice skating.
This is a fic after my own heart. Just fantastic and so unique! I honestly wish this game existed, I would work so hard for that secret route.
Advent Calendar - sushicorps (Inclinant)
“…It’s an advent calendar,” Yuuri explains as he places it down on the table. Viktor steps up and runs a hand along the smooth surface of the elaborate set of giftboxes, each carefully wrapped and nestled in their own compartment, with a number painted next to them, clearly handmade.
“Is this…for me? For Christmas?”
Yuuri flushes and ducks his head.
“It’s for your birthday too. It’s on Christmas, isn’t it?”
Pure, adorable, Christmas themed fluff, just how I like it.
first - Robin_Hoods
“So.” Yuuko giggles into the phone. “What was kissing Victor Nikiforov for the first time like?”
I really appreciate the Yuuri/Yuko friendship here that is often ignored by the fandom. Very sweet, lots of little touches I really like.
with a boy like that it’s serious - kevystel
‘I’m dating Viktor,’ Yuuri says, nervous despite himself.‘Seriously?’ Yurio demands. ‘I thought the two of you were already married.’(Viktor Nikiforov and Katsuki Yuuri are an item. The world reacts.)
Just the best coming out fic. All of the reactions are on point and it has bonus gold medalist Yuuri (AKA what he deserved).
Five Times Viktor and Yuuri Were Jealous of Makkachin (and the one time they weren’t) - braveten
“Viktor will do whatever is necessary in order to never see Yuuri cry again. He’d walk miles across broken glass. He’d relinquish all of his gold medals to JJ Leroy. He’d let Phichit hack his Instagram account.”Viktor and Yuuri are jealous of Makkachin on multiple occasions, but the adorable brown poodle might be the only way to get them to realize their love for one another.
Makkachin flavoured fluff + great characterization. Really sweet and funny.
get up again - snowdarkred
When Yuuri was drafted by the Detroit Red Wings, it was a dream come true. Years of practice, of hard work, of talking to scouts and agents, of posting his own highlights on Youtube — it all paid off. Sure, he went in the seventh round, surrounded by players who were probably never going to make the show, but Pavel Datsyuk went in the sixth and look at his career. Yuuri was going to make it. He moved all the way across the world for this, competed internationally for this, bled and cried for this. He was going to make it to the NHL.Yuuri didn’t make it.
The brilliant hockey AU I never knew I needed.
Victor Nikiforov - pardonthelitany
“What do you need, Victor?”Victor Nikiforov comes back to St. Petersburg, back to skating, and back to the person he was before all too easily. He is a god amongst men, a reigning hero, an icon, an idol, and he is just so tired.
THE post-episode 12 fic for me. Gorgeous, poetic, heartbreaking writing. I just love this one a lot.
Five Times Chris’s Dating Advice Was Ignored By Russian Skaters - liliths
—and one time it wasn’t.
Christophe Giacometti. Twenty-five. Cat lover, chocolate eater. Professional Swiss figure skater and confirmed Grand Prix finalist. Running an unofficial dating advice ring for Russian skaters who don’t listen to him to begin with. How did his life come to this?
Being Chris is suffering.
the language of flowers - liliths
FLORIOGRAPHY — (noun) The language of flowers, sometimes called floriography, is a means of cryptological communication through the use or arrangement of flowers. Origin: Latin floris (flowers).
In which Victor and Yuuri inspire each other through Victorian flower language. Alternate universe.
I’m really into flowers (flower shop AUs >>> coffee shop AUs) so this fic was just perfect for all my flower centric AUs needs.
For Your Time (I’ll Give You This Smile) - Liana_Legaspi
“Do you love me?” the King of Day says to Yuuri’s retreating back.
Stop.
Think.
“I haven’t decided yet.” Yuuri confesses, “I might hate you.”
There’s a smile in Viktor’s voice that’s sweeter than any lullaby Yuuri’s ever heard. “Then, if that’s the case, I’ll wait with you until you decide.”´
So I really love @beanpots​ Day and Night AU…on that note, I also really enjoyed
Of Cloudless Climbs and Starry Skies series - Maiden_of_the_Moon
Onwards!
Red Square on Ice - Naraht
Before the Rostelecom Cup, Yuuri and Victor go skating on Red Square, and Yuuri gains some insight into what it’s like being the hero of Russia.
Victor being the legend and Yuuri having to deal with his feeling over it. Really great Yuuri introspection.
Instagram is Not an Ice Rink - ladanse
Phichit’s phone buzzes. christophe-gc has posted a new photo, it tells him. When he thumbs the screen, it brightens to reveal a shot of Christophe Giacometti, lounging on a bench, wearing nothing but a Speedo and his skates. greetings from your local king of selfies, says the caption.
Phichit doesn’t actually know Chris - not personally. He has nothing to prove. But Phichit is also, categorically, a competitive little shit, and he knows he can do better.
So it begins.
The instagram fic we deserve!
i’ve been up nights making you my god - kevystel
The flight is twelve hours and Yuuri sleeps the whole time, head on Viktor’s shoulder, hand curled in Viktor’s jacket pocket underneath their shared blanket, earbuds buzzing a quiet insect harmony in the space between their throats. Viktor snores. Yuuri drools.
(Or, Viktor Nikiforov is very much in love and doesn’t know how to deal with it)
Really lovely characterization and relationship portrayal, as usual.
patinage - silvermyth
“Yuuri…” Victor knelt in front of him, and Yuuri hissed in pain when Victor pulled one battered foot into his lap. “How long have you been a skater, hm?” It was chiding, but Victor’s hands were gentle as he inspected tender blisters and welts. “How are you supposed to skate your best when your feet are in such a poor state?”Yuuri shifted uncomfortably. “It’s nothing…”Victor’s hands stilled around Yuuri’s ankle and his face grew serious. “Yuuri. If you’re to win the Grand Prix Final, you’ll need to be at your best.” He gave Yuuri’s ankle a light squeeze. “That includes this.”
Really soft and sweet fluff with wonderful characterization and just a lot of details I really love.
your love is my turning page - cityboys
Victor and the hours he spends waiting, reflecting and figuring things out.
Set parallel to Episode 9.
Another episode 9 from Victor’s perspective fic. I love all the interactions between Victor and Yuuri’s loved ones. Also, Victor properly learning about Vicchan like I always wanted.
lie to make me like you - cityboys
It’s become a game, of sorts, to anyone privy to the fact that the pattern exists in the first place: ask Victor out at the beginning of the month, date for however many days, and wait for the end to come and for Victor to say, always: I couldn’t fall in love with you. Let’s break up.Or, Victor is a retired actor looking for love, and Yuuri happens to be the (un)fortunate soul to unwittingly ask him out at the beginning of the month. Except relationships don’t come with a script, and it’s much harder understanding love than roles.
I know (and like) what this is based on. It also involves the entertainment industry (I’m biased) so I clicked this thinking “alright, impress me”. And it really did.
#KissOrHug - Aurum
Yuuri and Victor make #Victuri trend worldwide. Phichit accidentally makes it worse.
Another Phichit + social media fic I really enjoy, especially with how it translates that particular fandom debate to in-universe terms. The interactions with the other skaters are all so good.
Unspoken - daretoliveforever
“You see Yuuri, when your soulmate says something about you, like a compliment or a special message, their words will appear on your skin.“
Soulmate AU where Yuuri is mute and soulmate marks are dependent of spoken words.
Help I love soulmate AUs. This fic just…really got to me. Especially the ending.
Stay Close to Me - dasedandconfuzed
At the Grand Prix Final, Yuuri misses the podium by fractions of a point. Embroiled in a skating controversy, he tells himself he’ll prove his worth in the World Championships, but there’s a long time in between.
Or: Vicchan lives.
Very lyrical and dynamic prose and just a wonderfully written Yuuri.
like your french girls - ebenroot
“Victor,” Yuri begins, lowering the eighteenth sketch of the figure skater Victor drew this week, “you have a fucking problem.”
in which Victor is an artist, Yuuri is his figure skating muse, and Yuri is so done hearing about their stupid love story through Instagram
While this fic was updating I kept the tab open and would refresh it every day to see if there was a new chapter. I don’t know, something about this fic just really got to me, I really love it.
all the world’s a stage - braveten
Everyone has a guilty pleasure.
For Yuuri, it just happens to be romance movies starring famous heartthrob Victor Nikiforov.
(And, honestly, on the spectrum of guilty pleasures, he figures that his on the far, far more innocent side.)
I’m weak for entertainment industry AUs, ok?
Kono Kanji - SuggesttiveScribe
“I’m trying to write this message in Japanese, but my phone is suggesting all these kanji and I don’t know which one is correct…”Yuuri took a few steps toward Viktor, sinking down to his knees directly behind him as not to bother the inhabitants on either side. He gently placed his hand on Viktor’s shoulder, steadying himself as he peered over it and scanned the message displayed on Viktor’s phone screen.“Oh, you’re writing my name.”
I can’t contain my love for language barrier explorations and for this fic in general. Just…just wonderful!
Deluded - SuggestiveScribe
“Say Yuuri,” he began, gently brushing off the legs of his slacks, “do you know much ballroom?”“Uhm, well,” Yuuri was wringing his hands now, suddenly overflowing with anxious energy, “Just the very basics that helped with skating. It was mostly ballet for m–”Viktor extended his hand where he stood, arm and fingers outstretched and beckoning to Yuuri, “Then you know how to waltz.”
My favourite Victuuri fic that involves dancing.
The next set of fics are still on-going but I’m enjoying them a lot so far.
expomise - thankyouforexisting
Expomise: a transformation spell that bonds two objects together./ Yuuri is at Hogwarts. So is everyone else./“Hey,” Yuuri dares to say, voice low, “Maybe we should write this down…?”“Oh,” Victor blinks in surprise at him, his long fingers wrapped around a long dark brown wand, “Sure, you can take notes.”Pause. Yuuri doesn’t really want to say anything, but he powers through. He’s going to make new friends and be more outgoing, he has to. “Aren’t you gonna do it, though? Do you have a really great memory?”The boy stares at him as if he’s from another planet, “I’m Victor Nikiforov.”
Yuuri stares back, uncomprehending, “Yeah, you have a cool name.”
“No, I mean,” Victor purses his lips, frowning in confusion, glancing to check if their Professor’s looking at them, “I’m like, Victor Nikiforov.”
Switched - GhostsOnSaturn
Soulmates AU where your consciousness occasionally swaps places with that of your soulmate for varying amounts of time.
Katsuki Yuuri was just six years old when it first happened. He had been minding his own business, quite happily drawing an interesting rendition of a bird perched outside his window, and had blinked only to find himself somewhere completely different.He let out a shout of alarm - but it wasn’t his voice - and all of a sudden, feet that were far too big to be his slipped out from underneath him and he found himself lying on something very hard, and very cold.
Strut - Panny
All Victor had ever wanted was to skate on the same ice as his idol, Yuuri Katsuki, as an equal. All Yuuri wanted was to be a figure skating hermit and ignore the world.
And if neither of them could have what they wanted? Well, maybe that was for the best.
Dear Yuri - Kei on Ice (Maki_Kei), Mr_Beans
After winning a gold metal at the Grand Prix Final together as coach and student, Viktor and Yuuri decide to settle down and start careers as coaches under Yakov. The classes they coach range anywhere from singular, experienced students, to a regular group of small children from a nearby orphanage. But when the orphanage brings along a young, stubborn, blond Yuri with determination in his eyes and fire in his step, he quickly seizes hold of Viktor and Yuuri’s hearts.
Bear Your Soul on the Ice - SassySalchow (diedraechin)
At age fourteen, Katsuki Yuuri had been determined to be Japan’s next great figure skating hope, but with no coach that would never happen, so his ballet instructor packs him up off to Russia to train with Yakov Feltsman. The Yakov Feltsman, otherwise known as the coach to rising figure skating star – and Yuuri’s idol – Viktor Nikiforov.
urgent need of gravity - Hitsugi_Zirkus
“Yuuri,” Phichit waved the magazine in front of his face, “you collect every single magazine that Viktor is in, have his spreads on your wall, follow his fashion tours online, and probably fantasize about seductively applying his lipstick. I say, what do you have to lose?”
Yuuri opened his mouth. Closed it. Then he reached out and snatched his magazine back. How the hell did Phichit know about that fantasy anyway?
OR,
AU in which Yuuri is a make-up artist working in a small salon when he’s suddenly invited to work for big time fashion brand Stammi Vicino right alongside its top male model, Viktor Nikiforov, and love isn’t all glitter and perfectly-winged eyeliner.
BONUS! The following fics are my “Hotel Scene Fix-it” collection, AKA “every fan depiction of that scene is better than what we got” collection
Of Glass and Gold - smudgesofink
“Just hear me out,” Yuuri presses. He can feel heat burning behind his eyes and he grits his teeth, fighting back the tears. If he cries now, Victor will be too occupied with comforting him to actually pay attention to what he’s saying. “I want you to be happy.”
“I am,” Victor grounds out, confused and hurt. “I’m happy with you. What even gave you the idea that I’m not?“
“Because I’m never going to win gold!” Yuuri shouts. His words echo like a gunshot, and the silence that follows it is haunting.
(In which Victor is gold–magnificent, breathtaking, brilliant–and Yuuri is glass–transparent, thin, breakable.)
when the walls come down - mori (cityboys)
Being with Yuuri, sometimes, is like a game of tug-of-war.
I Live to Let You Shine - philatos
“I’m making you give up on yourself just so I can keep you with me. I don’t think I could live with myself if I did that, Victor”
“You didn’t make me give up on anything. I chose to come here, to do this. I chose you, Yuri.”
“Yeah well, maybe you shouldn’t have.”
let’s not talk of endings when we’ve just begun - silver_atalanta
“Oh my Yuuri,” Viktor says, as gently as he knows how. “What’s happened? What is making you say this?”
that would be enough - arduous_ardor
“After the final, let’s end this.” These words flow through Victor like ice, and Victor struggles to understand the self-doubt which threatens to destroy Yuuri from the inside out.
And that’s it for now. That got long. Again,sorry for the wait and thank you for your patience. 
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