#i need to know i'm not screaming into the void

[iblameashley]

Okay... I need to get some thoughts out...

To anyone who hasn't watched the end of Arcane, you may want to skip this. To be kind to y'all, but put my thoughts under the cut.

I really want to start off by saying that I actually did like Arcane! But like with most things, now that I have had time to reflect... I have feelings. And where better to get them out than Tumblr / screaming into the void.

They amusing thing to me about Arcane is that, for all its progressive themes, it still manages to fumble (from my point of view), gay representation. Gay men, specifically...

But as an Old Gay™ who has lived through so many TV shows that bypass, imply, nod, wink and nudge at gay relationships, if not flat out kill the gays and deny them a happy ending; I'm tired of implied gay men.

Lets start with Old Man Yaoi™

So in the alternate universe we get a glimpse of what is heavily implied to be two old gay (or Bi) men happy together.

I know some people might look at it and be like 'you're looking too closely at this, they're just friends now.' but... There is only one thing written more homoerotically and we'll get to that later.

Once again, all we are given is gentle touches, smiles and glances. And that can be fine sometimes. But its all implied and subtle. We have a whole dance scene with Ekko and Jinx, but they could have had Vander and Silco in the background dancing as well? We could have gotten a tender kiss?

We were given lesbian sex in a jail cell, but two gay men having a loving an intimate moment was too much? Of course it was. Lesbians are the safe option. They're always the safe option in TV when you want to have gay relationships. (This is not to say that lesbians get a 100% free pass, or don't have backlash! I simply mean that TV producers feel more confident including lesbians over gay men in media).

And of course we have Jayvik

I read on the other (hell) site that the creators of Arcane never intended to make Jayce and Viktor an item. I don't follow the creators and have no intention of looking it up, but lets be honest... this shit was so homoerotic.

But once again, things are mostly just implied or alluded to.

Would I have loved for them to kiss? Yes. Did I need them to kiss? No.

The gentle touches and looks were nice, for sure. I enjoy the intimacy of the moment, but we couldn't even get an 'I love you' with the actual words.

It feels like, once again, we can't have two men confess they love each other (even if it was platonic) because that would just be too much. Instead we get another repeat of "I want my partner back."

And then of course they explode into... something. Of course they could have simply changed states of being, or something. But its frustrating to always see gay men (viewers) get the short end of the stick once again. I'm tired of having to settle for implied romances or confessions of love from two men.

Anyway. I still loved both seasons of the show overall, but I just needed to let some of my frustrations out. I will now return to being delusional and throwing myself into the fandom to get more gay content that TV still hesitates to provide me with.

As an Aside... Loris deserved better!

I want this man in ways I cannot accurately express on this site. (I'd give this babygirl all the peanuts he'd want)

Thank you for reading my little gay rant. I feel better having typed things out a bit, even if I didn't cover every one of my intrusive thoughts in this post.

[gwenyundreiko]

I need to scream about Arcane S2 (spoilers for the whole season)

Alright, it's been 2 days since I've watched the end of Arcane, and I'm still in a bad mood over it, so I am going to scream into the void about it, and hopefully it will allow me to move on.

I do not like the second season of Arcane.

Season 1 ? Absolute banger, still love it. I love it even more after recently watching it a second time in preparation for season 2.

Season 2 though ? ... I will not go into the details (because I feel like I would need to rewatch it again to be more accurate, and I don't want to do that), so I am just going to write about how I feel about it now that it is over.

Season 2 has left me deeply unsatisfied, to say the least. I think this feeling comes from the fact that most characters' arcs look like they were either cut short, or didn't really go anywhere. This makes the entire story feel pointless; an undeniable marvel of aesthetics and animation put in service of nothing.

I could talk about a lot of the main cast, but I'll only talk about Vi, her relationship with Caitlyn, and the Zaun vs Pilltover theme.

First off : Vi, the character who fought tooth and nails for those she loved and always tried to do the right thing. Accepting responsibility for everyone who looked up to her... and got nothing for it in the end but pain. From the start of the serie, she is set up to be one of the protagonists, along with her sister and Caitlyn. Yet the story feels pervert in the way it insists to both :make Vi suffer without giving her any sort of confort or moment to express her feelings ; and make all of her actions be pointless.

In episode 8, when she says "I always make the wrong choice and lose everyone", we have to admit that from a narrative point of view, she is absolutely right. For the first time, Vi is self pitying. She's shown as vulnerable, doubtful, almost sounding like she's giving up by saying that all she ever does is useless or worse. This is incredibly out of character for her, and yet the story proves her right. Nothing she does matters in any meaningful way. She doesn't even contribute to the final battle : she gets stranded in the defence of the artillery tower (which turned out not to be a key asset in the battle), then go 1v2 Warwick with Jinx, and Jinx ends up sacrificing herself to kill it, but only AFTER the battle is over and all the narrative tension has calmed down. (Sidenote : yes yes I know it is hinted that Jinx is still alive, but still. Let's agree that it's in bad taste for a suicidal character's triumphant moment to be a reckless act of self sacrifice, independently of the outcome.)

Vi gets mistreated throughout the whole storry and gets nothing in the end despite her bravery and efforts. No matter how hard she fought, she still ends up separated from her sister and she still loses Vander. The only thing she gets in the end is a girlfriend with whom she basically had no tender moment since their breakup, making Vi feel like a rescue dog at Caitlyn's house, but let's talk about her relationship with Caitlyn in more depth.

I'll say this first : I love the sex scene. It's tender and passionate. It's a bit awkward, but in such a relatable way that it only makes the moment sweeter. It does an excellent job at showing us how the characters feel about each other. Taken on its own, it's perfect. Two people that love each other so much they just need to have each other right here, right now... I just wish their relationship around it was more fleshed out.

From what we get to see on screen, they get a really messy break up in episode 3, and then never interact again until crossing paths at the commune. In the meantime, Caitlyn has allied herself with Ambessa, declared martial law on Zaun and is oppressing it with the full extent of her legitimate violence... but upon seeing Vi again, she instantly switches side to go against Ambessa with a rushed plan.

We get absolutely no other insight into their emotions or thoughts at this moment. No scene to show that despite their conflicts and standing on opposite sides, there is still tenderness and affection between the two of them that could hint at them getting back together. Instead, Vi calls her a petname once, and it's done, no further convincing needed. (Sidenote again : this makes Caitlyn look impulsive and irrational, when everything that comes before shows us that she is smart, collected and patient. Here, she instantly abandons everything she was previously fighting for, even at the risk of putting her entire city in danger. This includes abandonning her vandetta against Jinx, which is the reason why they split up in the first place, but this isn't adressed between Vi and Cait ever again either.)

After that, Vi holds her accountable for her actions for the time of 1 dialogue.

Then they barely interact again until the jailcell scene. Hell, once the battle starts, I don't think the two of them interact AT ALL until the epilogue.

The lack of substance in the portrayal of their relationship makes this sweet and tender sex scene feel like a spur of the moment thing. An almost self-destructive action from Vi trying to scrape at any possible source of confort after being cut out by her sister. A good thing happening for the wrong reasons. (Mind you, a hate sex scene would have worked wonders in my opinion, but that's not what we got.)

So yeah, given all of that, I'm struggling to see how Vi ending up with Caitlyn is supposed to be a meaningful and happy resolution to her story, when this relationship is barely shown on screen during season 2.

Finally, let's talk about the Zaun vs Piltover situation : it goes nowhere.

An entire 5 acts showing us that Piltover treats Zaun like shit, turning it into a ghetto and leaving it to rot in its own misery . The promo campaign for season 2 teased us a revolution... and in the end, we barely see any change. The way the story resolves implies that now that Zaun and Pilltover have triumphed over a shared ennemy, they grieve together and make peace because they have learned that war comes at too high a cost, and Zaun gets to be represented by ONE councilor.

I'm sorry but either the show tried something and missed, or the show was just incredibly shallow from the beginning. This conflict was set up from the first second of the show by having the main characters be orphaned by cops in a popular uprising which only looks more and more justified as we learn more about Zaun. That is to say that Topside doesn't care about Zaunites. From what we can tell, Heimerdinger has been leading the city for 300 years, and he discovers just now that Zaun has problems ?? Piltover prides itself for being the city of progress and equality, while exploiting the misery of the people that are LITERRALY BENEATH THEM. It's the final shot of THE FIRST SCENE IN THE SHOW, the topside people are sitting ON TOP of Zaun, reaping the benefits while throwing their wastes at them.

I think there's no better illustration for how Piltover considers Zaun than the scene where Jayce announces to the Council that Silco has demanded independance. All the councilors lose their shit. They are OUTRAGED by the demand. Clearly, Piltover considers Zaun its property. People to exploit, whose need and misery they can ignore, and ultimately, a problem to be solved through the police by having them arrested/beaten up/killed.

So either the show was indeed trying to tell a story about class struggle and oppression, and failed to deliver a satisfying conclusion; or the show was only interested in the appearance and flavor of class struggle only as a vessel for the cliché of "the cycle of violence". Which hmm, yeah it's 2024. I don't think anyone needs me to write an entire section about the necessity of fighting for human rights and resisting oppression.

I could have talked about how pitfighter Vi was 60% of the promo for Season 2, and yet was done and gone in a minute, which was also what we got with the promo, or how a French animation studio decided to call an independant, pacifist and egalitarian community " The Commune" (if you know you know); I could have also talked about Jinx's character, and how the show portrays her self healing from her devouring guilt, but I'll stop rambling here. I hate that I have wrote this, because I don't want to spread negativity. I'd rather spend this kind of energy on things I love.

The thing is, I really really wish I enjoyed Arcane season 2, because season 1 means a lot to me. Vi's character awakened something in me. It is representation I never knew I needed and it changed me. I know this sounds silly. It's only a fictionnal story after all, but it helped me grow into a better and more hopeful person. In the end, I just feel like season 2 went too far too fast, and left me behind to try and pick up the pieces of my expectations. If you've made it this far, I sincerely thank you, and I hope you have a beautiful rest of the day.

[peribirb]

.....

[rillils]

idk why I never thought about it, but if we're assuming that this

is the brochure Bucky got at the Smithsonian in 2014, that must mean that he held on to it for two whole years. possibly carrying it in his pocket at first (you can sort of see the marks where it was originally folded), then carefully straightening it and smoothing out the inevitable little crinkles, with a tenderness he'd long forgotten he was even capable of.

moving it from journal to journal as he went through them, so he wouldn't risk losing it.

using it as a bookmark, so it would be the first thing he saw every time he flipped his journal open.

maybe tracing Steve's familiar face with his fingertips, with the odd but unfaltering certainty that he used to know what that felt like. that the memory must be somewhere in the back of his mind still, waiting to be unlocked like a treasure chest.

recalling how, during the war, he'd wished he could have carried a picture of his sweetheart on him like all the other guys did. how he'd wished he could see Steve's face every day, just for something good to hold on to, to keep him going when he felt every last shred of hope slip away from him.

and how, when Steve appeared with his new body and his old recklessness, all too eager to throw himself into battle, Bucky had learned what people meant when they said be careful what you wish for.

just. the notion of Bucky taking this fragile piece of paper in the first place, and then deciding to keep it, and then going out of his way to make sure it wouldn't tear, deliberately keeping it close at hand, cherishing it like it was his most prized possession– yeah no I need a moment

[tardis--dreams]

It's been over 2 years and i still haven't found a drama that captivates me with the intensity of beyond evil or the devil judge. I'm beginning to accept that nothing's ever gonna come close to making me feel this way ever again

[charliespringverse]

i think it should be possible to scream without making any noise or disturbing anyone or inviting any questions . just sometimes . as a treat .

[kaarijatits]

I hadn't paid attention to this before, but even the art posts in the fandom with more notes are mainly from the likes and not from reblogs... how is it possible that there're 100 rb and 400 likes or 50 rb and 200 likes, insane

[meowcifer-nails]

Fucking OBSESSED with this one scene in the cockpit cos MAN I wish we knew what the fuck they were saying right before Jimmy came in!!!

On one hand Anya sounds defeated, possibly disappointed, on the other hand Swansea sounds pissed af right after Jimmy talks down to Anya.

Did Anya tell Swansea not to do anything brash and so he's resentfully holding back from decking their new captain?? Did Swansea tell her he "couldn't" do something about Jimmy and so she's begrudgingly saying she understands his position?? Did he tell her about the pod or???

Is2g this fucking game man-

[cartoonghosts]

genuinely people need to tag triggers. Love all the 'not my responsibility to tag stuff the way you want it' shit but that is for fandom and weird kinks and whatever not LITERAL PICTURES OF SELF HARM AND BLOOD EVERYWHERE like I'd be fine if it was tagged 'tw blood' (which I don't have blocked!! I'd still be triggered as fuck but hey you tried idc) but when you don't tag it at all I have to assume you are actually trying to hurt someone. Yeah I block immediately but thst doesn't change the fact that I'm triggered and the sh urges are back. This is true for text posts too, although I try to block words (I genuinely hate it so deeply when people sidestep other people's word blocks with 'sewerslide' or button mash numbers in the word like. I am going to fucking kill you. 'Oh noo it's triggering to me uwu' bitch you made me actively suicidal for the first time in months. Fucking die. Don't post that shit if using the actual words triggers you). You ABSOLUTELY ARE responsible for what you put out into the words. People saying 'oh ur not responsible for other peoples triggers and emotions' are genuinely heartless and have never felt human empathy. You ain't responsible for how I react to your content, but you NEED to try your best to give people the bare minimum of warnings when you post triggering shit. Look at ur vent post and be like 'hey I'm gonna tag this as tw vent/ tw si' and you genuinely might save someone's life. Probably not but the chance should be enough for you to care and if it isn't, block me. Don't argue, just block me now.

[groovygrub]

hey. got some wild news for you folks that i feel would be selfish of me not to share.

you can literally just. create your own interpretation and/or entire timeline for your favorite media (well, any media). and use that as the basis for your feelings and ideas and narrative choices when creating your own media about it. or sometimes even just when thinking about it.

like yeah it's not reality. but i doubt the original media is either. yeah it's made up. but so is the original media. we're all just playing with lil dolls and vaguely sexualized action figures and shit. go off, dude. get weird with it.

[gothchoccymilk]

I'd rather die than be a 'name 5 songs and the singer's most recent bowel movement or ur a poseur' gatekeeper... but goddamn (rant incoming)

any pretty girl in dark clothes and makeup is goth according to the internet (and the tumblr tags 👀 but that's none of my business). any music that's dark and edgy is goth music. corpse paint is the same as tradgoth makeup*. but being able to 'claim' the goth label is so easy.

Just. Like. The. Music.

any of it! if you like one goth album from one artist that doesn't even have to Be Goth (ie the cure's famous 4, killing joke's titular album from 1980) you can be in the club! it doesn't have to be goth rock! it can be death rock, dark wave, cold wave, ethereal wave!!!

The Gate. Is Wide Open. Don't just hop the fence and take the lawn flamingos.

I only listened to the first and last and always album and a couple other popular songs by sisters of mercy for like a couple months before actually branching out into other goth music (because it is goth, Andrew) and looking into the subculture and ethos. but you don't have to!! you can be that guy that doesn't give a shit about politics or DIY and just wants to tap his feet to siouxsie and the banshees!!!!

you don't have to be at every goth night in a hundred mile radius. you don't have to dress all in black and jingle when you move like you raided a hardware store. you don't have to wear whiteface or elaborate dark makeup or have a billion edgy piercings. you just have to support your favourite goth music artists. and the easiest way to do that,, is to ✨listen✨

it's a dying offshoot-of-an-offshoot music subculture that started in the late 70s that somehow survived this long. it's not a porn/OF category. it's not the same as being into spooky decor. it's great people love the styles goths have brought to the table over the... like 45 years of the genre, but can we at least pretend we're not at the fetishising stage for 5 minutes

(*and stop putting evanescence and the like on 'normie tries tradgoth for the first time' style tiktoks and yt shorts. they can do what they want, but looking up 'goth music' takes 2 seconds)

[applepies-and-starlight]

...ok I might be getting invested in the Ishdon MLB AU beyond it just being a passing idea-

[brandileigh2003]

I'm not looking forward to 8 hours in car and then non child proof house with special needs kid who's been having a rough couple of weeks.

With in laws where I flip a coin whether they're going to be assholes or not.

And I'm still sick with a not so fun new... I don't know what to call it. Not necessarily side effect. Or complication. But. It's freaking embarrassing.

(ha! Tumblr goes... You've reached 30 tags. So write in your post. Not in tags. It's not the p.s.s.s.s. that you used to write to your best friend 😂)

[phiatheox]

people really don't like Nandor on here...he's literally my sweetie pie

[tardis--dreams]

There's been interesting developments at work and i need to do a lot of work for university so i think tonight is the Perfect time to finish beyond evil

[mufhtagn]

What you're feeling is valid.

We're living in a brave new world - there very much is a loneliness epidemic, mental health resources continue to fail us, and it's totally, 100% okay to seek comfort from people who do not know you and never will know you.

Being parasocial is to desperately smear salve on an open wound. If it eases you even a little bit, there's nothing wrong with letting yourself sink into the warmth for just a little while. It's okay to want to love, and to want to be loved. It's okay to seek that out and pretend even if it's only for a short time.

Just try to remember to take care of yourself when you're no longer in safe spaces. Those providing the comfort you seek usually only offer it WITHIN those spaces. Maintain safe boundaries.

Be kind to yourself. Be kind to others. Most of all, remember to breathe.