#i need to find more of this genre
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i love portrait of a lady on fire. literally the only line uttered by a man in the whole movie is âbonjourâ. now that is peak cinema right there.
#i just rewatched it.. like two days after rewatching dead poets society#gay yearning movies over love and art and poetry are the best#the goldfinch also fits in this category but the book more than the movie#i need to find more of this genre#i love poalof so bad#portrait of a lady on fire#its so fucking beautiful#it feels like it was actually filmed in the 1700s like im there#lesbian#sapphic
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one of my favourite aspects of supernatural that you very rarely see in paranormal shows is that sam and dean are already versed in the world they live in. thereâs no sudden discovery of ghosts and demons and now they have to learn about them along with the audience; they are born into it and already know all about it. it allows the audience to follow their personal story instead of also trying to figure out this new world and its rules
the first season is full of knowledge we never see them learn; âw*ndigoes are in the minnesota woods or- or northern michigan. iâve never even heard of one this far west.â [âŠ] âgreat. well then this [his gun] is useless.â (1x02), âyou donât break a curse. you get the hell out of its way.â (1x08), d: âitâs a god. a pagan god, anyway.â [âŠ] âthe annual cycle of its killings? and the fact that the victims are always a man and a woman. like some kind of fertility right.â [âŠ] s: âthe last meal. given to sacrificial victims. d: âyeah, iâm thinking a ritual sacrifice to appease some pagan god.â (1x11)
almost every episode in the first season is a monster theyâve faced before that they then explain to the audience in a way that should feel patronising; like itâs the same speech given over and over again but instead, the audience almost feels included in the knowledge. itâs stated with such an innate confidence and comfort in said knowledge that it feels like we already knew it too; âspirits and demons don't have to unlock doors. if they want inside, they just go through the walls.â [âŠ] âthe claws, the speed that it moves; could be a skinwalker, maybe a black dog.â (1x02), âit's biblical numerology. you know noah's ark, it rained for forty days. the number means death.â (1x04), âno no no, not the reaper, a reaper. there's reaper lore in pretty much every culture on earth, it goes by 100 different names.â [âŠ] âyou said it yourself that the clock stopped, right? reapers stop time. and you can only see 'em when they're coming at you which is why i could see it and you couldn't.â (1x12)
they already know and, at least in the first season, already have what they need to kill whatever theyâre hunting; already know to salt and burn bones for spirits, fire for a w*ndigo, exorcisms for demons, a silver bullet to the heart for shapeshifters. thereâs only three times in the entire first season that they run into something new to them; 1x14 when sam gets his first vision that leads him to another psychic, 1x16 when dean calls caleb for help on the sigil he put together and he tells him about daevas, and 1x20 when they find out vampires are real- and they only donât know that bc john thought they were hunted to extinction and not worth mentioning
(thereâs also technically two half instances if you count one of them knowing something the other doesnât - sam figuring out the tulpa in 1x17 and dean already knowing about the shtriga in 1x18 - but those still rely on sam and dean having prior knowledge)
even when theyâre uncertain about facing something, itâs not bc they donât know what it is; itâs precisely bc they know what it is and acknowledge that itâll be a difficult hunt (âi don't know, man. this isn't our normal gig. i mean, demons, they don't want anything, just death and destruction for its own sake. this is big. and i wish dad was here.â 1x04)
so much of the tension in paranormal shows typically comes from the main character(s) not knowing what is happening to them/the people around them and having to find out how to resolve it. supernatural is unique in that it operates more like a police procedural. the tension comes from solving the clues and identifying patterns to figure out who (what) the killer is and intercepting before they can take another victim
itâs such a different tone to go for when compared to other shows that came both before, during, and after its run. it sets sam and dean on even footing with each other since they both have the same knowledge going in, and it puts them in a place of authority usually reserved for an outside character
the shows i compare spn to most is charmed, buffy and teen wolf; every main character in those shows are brought into the paranormal world knowing nothing, putting them on the same level as the audience, and they have their mc interact with others already knowledgeable about that world in order to overcome their problem/monster of the week. the audience organically learns about this new world as the characters learn about it. itâs a sound writing strategy that prevents âas we already knowâ-style exposition but something that complicates it is if your world building isnât unique or intriguing enough, this slow introduction can become boring
weâve seen shows like these before; sitting through the same tropes of characters learning to use their powers, struggling with no longer feeling normal/relating to the regular world around them, and not knowing how much they can trust the people already involved in this new world gets repetitive. all three shows eventually reach the same level of comfort with their new world that spn starts with but if the characters arenât enough to draw you in, you can end up dropping it before they reach that point (and often, before the overarching plot can really kick in and evolve the show beyond the villain of the week format)
itâs the superhero origin movie in tv format; dragged out and overplayed. dropping the audience into an established world of course comes with its own problems but you also have the benefit of pre-existing established character dynamics that let the audience slot in like theyâve always been there instead of just getting to know all the characters while the characters also get to know each other
sam and dean already knowing about the supernatural lets the audience immediately get to the core of the story; the conflict between sam and dean, the search for their father, and the mystery of what killed their mother
#i could go on forever theres literally so many examples#dean figuring the âtwo dark doublesâ is a shapeshifter sam figuring out the changing ghost is a tulpa#also peak how many of these examples come from dean despite them pushing so hard for sam to be the one knowing hunting theory#this format is why i cant stand watching the first season of charmed despite loving it so much#i just cant be bothered watching them have the same struggle ive seen a hundred times play out again#different genre but sons of anarchy does this well too; all the characters are already in the club life and already have inner conflict#spn having such a natural introduction makes me so glad they didnt go with the original plan of sam not knowing about hunting#that wouldve been Painful#watching spn so young has really shaped my view of media bc i legit cant stand things with a learning curve#give me an established world damnit#lord of the rings never stops to explain what a dwarf is! you just go with it! and it rules!#dean is just as theoretical and lore savvy as sam and id go as far to say he actually knows more#instead of trying to do this bullshit brains v brawn divide they shouldve done new tech vs analogue#sams laptop is famous and he also knows how to hack thing where the second dean doesnt know something he defaults to books#have dean be the one where if its written down he can find it almost like a proto bobby#they even kind of support that by him being the one to find the phoenix in s6 when they go through all their books#but this was 2005 and characters could only be so conplex and theyd already decided dean needed to be the hot one and sams the nerd one#side note how many of these metas am i going to write on this rewatch? tbd#side side note included all the quotes and episode numbers makes me feel so academic#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#carry on my wayward son#talk meta to me#meta#supernatural meta#spn#supernatural#dean winchester#sam winchester#save post
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And remember kids, the next time someone tells you, "George R. R. Martin wouldn't make Jon Snow the typical fantasy hero because that's cliche".....
Oh yes he would!
One viewer wants to know what character would you play (on the show)? GRRM: If I could magically clap my hands and become a different person, it would be cool to play Jon Snow who's much more of the classic hero. Everybody wants to be the classic hero! ABC Interview, 2014
GRRM: And the character Iâd want to be? Well who wouldnât want to be Jon Snow â the brooding, Byronic, romantic hero whom all the girls love. Meduza Interview, 2017
In fact he already has âșïž
#asoiaf#jon snow#yes grrm has criticized neo-tolkein fantasy - a lot!#but like....dpmo#I need so many people in this godforsaken fandom to familiarize themselves with grrm's engagement with the genre#he isn't trying to say âchosen one boy protagonist badâ where tf did people get that???#he's directly trying to challenge the more unsatisfactory elements of lesser copies of tolkien's legendarium#the ones that lift lotr wholesale without actually understanding what makes tolkien's writing snap#at the same time he has admitted himself that he has borrowed from lotr albeit with his own twists#but people in this fandom need to know that ye old man LOVES sword-and-sorcery fantasy#he LOVES a good epic#he LOVES pulp fantasy and sci fi#and those inspirations are directly reflected in asoiaf#the way he's named arthuriana/lotr/MST and many pulp stories with brooding dark heroes as key inspirations#almost all of which have mcs who fall into the typical fantasy hero role#and they inspire elements that are reflected back onto jon more than anyone else in asoiaf#like seoman snowlock = jon (+bran)#frodo - who btw is the mc in lotr not aragorn!! = jon (and bran)#FUCKING KING ARTHUR IS JON SO MUCH SO THAT RLJ IS LITERALLY A 1:1 COPY OF ARTHUR'S BIRTH STORY LIKE??!!!!#anyone who's even a little bit familiar with le morte d'arthur will be like oh yeah jon is literally king arthur like đđ#same with anyone who's ready the once and future king - which grrm has directly identified as his fav take on arthurian lit#ntm that jon is based on some of the most prolific characters in arthuriana - percival/galahad/lancelot etc#did you know that there's an iconic sci-fi series whose main character is called Eric JOHN STARK?#well grrm has directly quoted that series and the mc as a foundational book in his life#funny that huh? đ#do people even know what tf they're talking about when they say stuff like this???? ajdhhjshsbvshja#grrm engages very heavily with traditional fantasy tropes but he of course provides his own spin on them#never has he said that he's trying to avoid stories with hidden princes or chosen ones as boy protagonists#like someone find me a direct quote of him saying that - but I bet you can't smh
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sukugo is a crack ship TO YOU. to me it's a perfectly legitimate ship, held back within the canon universe principally due to adherence to classic genre structures and not by lack of character compatibility
#sukugo#not to be a crack ship definition purist. but it doesnt qualify as a crack ship if the characters are totally compatible#and if a major reason that the ship is not canon is just because the characters aren't main characters and thus not the focus of the story#what i mean is that jjk has a pretty normal structure for a coming of age martial arts story#it has the young protagonist who is the focus of the story#who has a wise teacher who is killed by the villain to provide the protagonist with more motivation to defeat the villain#gojo and sukuna were both doomed by the narrative in that the narrative followed this classic structure. so long as yuji is the protagonist#and main character then gojo needs to die to allow him growth and focus#and sukuna needs to be defeated by yuji#sukuna and gojo's relationship could only develop to a limited extent within their fight because its only setting the stage for the final#fight between yuji and sukuna#BUT THERE ARE ABSOLUTELY MANY EXCHANGES BETWEEN GOJO AND SUKUNA THAT DEMONSTRATE THAT THEY ARE COMPATIBLE AS A SHIP IF THEY HAD#TIME AND SPACE TO DEVELOP THE STORY IN THAT DIRECTION#âteacher and villain set up to be on opposing sides but finding understanding and an equal and love in each otherâ is totally legit dynamic#thats the premise of tian ya ke/word of honor#what im saying is that sukugo are very compatible as a ship#but to have a ship like sukugo be believable in canon. their relationship needs to be given time to develop#more time than jjk is able to give it within its structure without more genre subversion and without them being main characters#jjk
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In Saecula Saeculorum
My contribution for @inklings-challenge 2024! Content warning for death and injury
Playlist link (I HIGHLY recommend listening along I spent like four collective hours on this thing I'm super proud. I am, however, adding which songs are best listened to at which points. They will be the bold italicized captions at the beginning of different sections. All the songs mentioned can be found on the playlist! (also, when you finish Afraid Of Time, just listen to the rest of the playlist straight through. It should line up well enough!))
~Time~
When Stephen Reid was nineteen, he almost got hit by a truck while trying to cross the street. A young woman a few years older than him yanked him back onto the sidewalk as the massive garbage truck barreled past, seemingly unaware that it had almost caused his demise.
Stephen steadied his breathing, heart pounding so hard he could feel it in his throat, then turned to thank the young woman whoâd saved him. His mother had drilled good manners into him from a young age, and sheâd have scolded him soundly for wandering into the street without looking first, let alone not thanking the person whoâd saved him.
But sheâd already started moving down the sidewalk, shoulders hunched in her green jacket, her hair (the tips of which were dyed an electric blue) brushing her shoulders as she moved. She was hunched over her cupped hands, whispering to something she was holding, and Stephen frowned. Strange way to hold your phone.
But there were more pressing things on Stephenâs mind. Namely, the fact that the world was tearing itself apart.
When he was little, things were so simple. It wasnât just that he was a kidâStephen remembered things had been happy, peaceful. He remembered summers spent digging holes in his backyard with his friends and raking leaves in the autumn. His mother and father had been happy, and life had been good.
As he got older, he saw the little ways things werenât so good. The strain his fatherâs job put on him, the leaner times. But his family was still happy.
And then he turned eighteen. And things got really bad. Countries baying for each otherâs blood, corrupt leaders turning their backs and doing nothing to help. Every day, the news showed more horrors. Every day, things got worse, and war was on the way. And Stephen knew he couldnât just sit by and watch. His mother had taught him manners, common sense, and how to be fierce when it was needed. And his father had taught him that if you could help, you did help, and to care even when it was hard.Â
So that was what Stephen planned to do. In every way possible.
Heâd started out with volunteering as he started college classes. There were even more people living on the streets now than ever, and helping make meals at shelters was a step toward helping them.
But then things took an abrupt turn for the worse. And suddenly, they were at war. And Stephen found himself dropping out of school to enlist.
He was twenty when he saw his first dead bodyâa woman on the side of the road. Face pale, limbs at unnatural angles, blood still staining the front of her shirt. It was an image that didnât leave his mind for a long, long time.
Two months later he killed someone for the first time. He tried not to remember that. But it wasnât the last time. Every time he took a life, he found himself mourning, for what the world had come to, for the life that heâd ended.
Stephen may have known the reasons for what he was doing. But that didnât make it hurt any less, or stop him from wondering if there was a better way he could help.
At twenty-two, he was shot in the line of duty.
It wasnât the first time heâd been injured. But it was the first time it had been serious enough to warrant being sent to a hospital for a prolonged stay. And as it turned out, it was serious enough that he was discharged from the army. The bullet had shattered bones in his leg, leaving him with a serious limp and pain that never fully went away.
It was strange. One minute he was fighting for his life, the next he was home. Like nothing had changed, like he was supposed to pick up where he left off. Stephen found himself adrift, unsure of his next step. He went back to school, but his old major didnât seem to fit anymore. Nothing did.
He was twenty-two and a half when one of his classmates dragged him to their local church. Howard was stubborn and usually said exactly what was on his mind, without thought toward how heâd affect others. It was an odd combination of refreshing and very irritating.
And yet, in that sanctuary, Stephen had never seen Howard light up the way he did when the singing started. And listening to the words, he started to understand why.
Heâd gone to church growing up, and it had been fine. But this was different. This was something beautiful rediscovered, and he cherished it. Soaked in every word spoken from the front. It was like water after years in the desert, healing after pain for so long. It brought peace he hadnât known could exist.
Stephen was twenty-three when he changed his major. Not to a pastor, though Howard joked that he might as well, with all the Bible reading and questions. But to a counselor. Someone who could guide others through what heâd gone through, and worse. Someone who could help.
It was a refreshing of his original purpose, a rewriting of his story. It was the right thing to do, and that was all heâd ever wanted.
When he was twenty-seven, he started on an internship. And that was where he met Marian.
She was an astrophysicist, and while Stephen admittedly didnât understand a lot of what she did, he liked to listen to her talk about it anyway. He liked her smile, too, and her warm brown eyes that lit up like gold in the sunlight. They both loved music, and swapped favorite songs every time they saw each other. She loaned him her favorite book, and Stephen read it eagerly, looking for what she loved in every line.
It took him a while to gather the courage to ask Marian out. Howardânow graduated, running his own construction company, and happily engagedâteased him relentlessly about it. âShe likes you, you clearly like her,â the young man would tell him. âWhatâs the problem?â
âIâm waiting for the right moment,â Stephen would respond, and Howard scoffed in response.
In the end, he didnât ask her at the right moment. He simply asked her, one day when she was stopping by at his work to talk about the book sheâd just finished, eyes bright with happiness. Her smile outshone the sun when she said yes.
One year and six months later, she said yes again when he went down on one knee on a date to one of the few functioning observatories left in the country. He would have given her every star in the sky if he could have, but Marian settled for a diamond ring and a small wedding at her brotherâs farm. Stephen hadnât known someone could hold this much joy within them without bursting.
Two years later, Stephen was thirty years old. And that was when things started to get strange.
~~~
~Prepping For Rescue~
âAre you sure you want to do this?â
She avoided his gaze as she strapped on her protective gear. While the technology they were using had come a long way since the beginning of its use, there were still dangers. Being pulled through time and space could cause serious injury or damage, and the cuffs she was locking into place would generate a field that could protect her from that. Strange, how they almost felt like shackles, weighing her down, when they were the only thing bringing her hope right now.
âYou know I am,â she said. âWe already tested it. We can go back now, not just forward. And if I have that chanceââ
âYouâre gonna take it. I know,â he said. âBut we still donât know everything about this. We donât know how it could affect the timeline. You could start wars, cause innumerable deaths. You could prevent yourself from even being born.â
âI know the risks.â She finished with the cuffs and grabbed her jacket, pulling it on to hide the cuffs from sight. âI donât care.â
He looked like he wanted to comment on that very much, but just sighed. âOkay. Do you have your location drone?â
âHer name is Penni,â she informed him, and he sighed again.
âItâs a robot. It doesnât have a name.â
She couldnât hold back a smile at the old argument. âShe does now. And I have her here.â Slipping a hand into her pocket, she pulled out a flat, circular object about the size of her palm. The domed top flickered between different colors, trying to camouflage itself with its surroundings, and it zipped into the air, hovering right above her shoulder. She brushed a hand along Penniâs surface, taking a deep breath.
âGood. Keep her with you, and Iâll be able to bring you back,â he reminded her. âOtherwiseâŠthings could get ugly. Because this is all supposed to be theoretical.â
âThen I guess Iâm a pioneer,â she said, mouth suddenly dry. Squaring her shoulders, she said, âLetâs do this thing.â
~~~
Exactly twenty-seven days before his thirty-first birthday, Stephen was on his way home from work. He stopped at a grocery store to pick up a few things for dinnerâMarian was working later than usual, and he wanted to surprise her with a delicious home cooked meal when she got home.
When he stepped out of the store, a car drove by at top speed and shot him three times in the chest. Two other pedestrians were hit, but he was the only casualty.
Except he wasnât.
He heard the car screech around the corner, and looked up in time to see the dark barrel of a gun pointing out a windowâand then a girl slammed bodily into him, sending him crashing to the ground.
Glass from the store windows shattered upon the bulletâs impact, tinkling against the pavement. There were screams, and Stephen pushed himself into a sitting position with a groan, looking around as the car roared away.
Two other pedestrians lay on the groundâone hit in the shoulder, the other only grazed in the arm. Stephen automatically moved to help them, calling for someone to call the cops, his head spinning.
Because there had been a moment where heâd known, heâd been sure, that he was going to die. Not just fear. Utter confidence. Heâd all but felt the bullets pass through his body.
But instead, a girl had saved his life.
The girl. Stephen glanced aroundâbut there was no sign of her. And all he could remember, as he later recounted to the cops, then Marian, was a blur of green jacket and blue hair.
Something about the description itched at the back of his brain, but he wasnât sure what. All he knew is that he was somehow, impossibly alive. And he was grateful for it.
Two days later they found out Marian was pregnant.
~~~
âIt worked,â she gasped, stumbling away from the framework of the machine.
Her friend looked up, eyes widening. âItâit did? Are you okay?â
She nodded, then stumbled again, and he caught her by the arm, hauling her upward. âWhoa. Sit down, have something to drink. We should check you outââ
âIâm fine,â she said, waving away his worry. âIt worked, Tad. Heâheâs not dead. Is he? I canâtâI canât thinkââ
Steering her into a chair, Tad said, âDisorientation is a common side effect after traveling. Let me look at the databaseâdrink some water.â
Taking the water bottle he shoved into her hands before moving to the computer, she gulped down some of the contents, her head spinning. âDo you remember how it was before?â she asked. âYou said that you might notââ
âI think being close to the temporal field distortion preserved my memory,â Tad said, typing rapidly. âItâs fascinating, and if we donât get arrested for this, Iâll write a paperâoh.â
Her stomach dropped as his face fell. âWhat?â
âYouâŠalmost succeeded.â Reading from the screen, he said, âStephen Reid, died age thirty-two, in the â65 train bombings.â
âWhat?â Rocketing out of her chair, she moved to his side, swaying a little. Tad put a hand out to steady her as she bent over the screen. âHow?â
âLooks like he was injured, but didnât let on because he was busy helping others to safety,â Tad read. Glancing at her, he said, âI know thatâs not what you wanted to hear, butââ
She was already moving toward the machine. âWe have to go again.â
âWhat? I donât think thatâs a good idea. You already somehow created a temporal loop when you first went in. Who knows whatââ
Spinning around, she said, âWe canât save him from being murdered just to let him die in a freak accident. Itâs notâno. Weâre fixing this.â
âAnd you donât think this has anything to do withââ
Fixing him with a fierce glare, she said, âWeâre going. Again.â
~~~
~The Typewriter Theme~
If that was the only incident, Stephen would have accepted it and moved on. He wasnât dead, and that was something he was fiercely grateful for. His wife was pregnant, and instead of being dead he was there. For the moment when their little girl came into the world, and he held her close for the first time.
They named her Zara Grace Reid, and Stephenâs heart was full. For two long years, they had peace.
Then, when he was thirty-two, things started getting bad again. The governments were all fighting, and groups of dissenters were getting angry at, well, everyone, no matter who they claimed to hold responsible for everything going badly. Danger of terror threats grew more and more present.
The day after Zaraâs birthday, Stephen was taking the train to a meeting across town. But when he got to the door, his ticket was missing. Racking his brains, Stephen vaguely remembered slipping it into his jacket pocketâand a girl bumping into him as they crossed paths in the station.
Strange. Who would steal a train ticket? He considered buying another one, but it was a nice day and he was in no hurry. He decided to walk.
Two blocks later the world exploded. Four trains, all across the city, blew up at once, killing hundreds in a deadly attack.
Stephen not only saw it when it happened, he felt it. In his chest, like he was on the train when it happened. But no sooner had the feeling come then it was gone and he was running toward the rubble, hoping desperately that he could pull someone, anyone out.
He missed his meeting and saved twelve lives that day. All the while wondering at the phantom pain in his side, but there was too much to do for him to care.
Hours later, he made it home after Marian, cleaned up, and only by the time he fell into bed did he wonderâdid the girl who took my ticket know?
~~~
âSIX MONTHS?â
Pacing back and forth, she glared into space. âI only bought him six months? What does he do that makes these people want him dead so badly?â
âItâs pretty fishy,â he agreed, typing rapidly. âOkay, the records are a little messy, but I think I know the exact date. Are you feeling okay?â
âIâm fine. Letâs go again.â
~~~
The thought didnât really leave Stephen, as he racked his brain to remember what the girl looked like. He remembered dark hair with a splash of blue, and the girl had been holding something small. And those thoughts tugged at other memoriesâof a day almost twenty years ago, when someone had pulled him out of the way of a truck. Of the shooting before Zara was born.
He wasnât able to really consider the idea, let alone voice it. Not until six months later, when there was a fire in his work building, and someone locked the door of his office, leaving him trapped inside while the flames grew and the smoke filled his lungs.
Heâd been in tight spots before. Heâd been trained, in the Army, not to panic, even when it was logical to do so. But as his oxygen seeped away and the door refused to budge, even as he bashed at it with a chair, Stephen found himself absolutely terrified.
No. No, this canât be it. Images of Marian and Zara flickered through his head and he knew he had to fight, had to live at all costs. But if there was nothing he could doâ
The door swung open, and someone pulled him forward.
~~~
~The Hornburg~
âI wonder what makes them choose the intervals they do,â Tad mused as he typed. âIs there someone else preventing them? Do we just do this for the rest of our lives? Are they experts or are they just trying everything and every year they can to kill him? Furthermore, whatâs going to stop them from just going back to the same year and trying againââ
He stopped short when he saw her face. âWhichâŠthey definitely canât do. Most likely. I think they canât, anyway. Itâs just that the science is soâIâm sorry. They havenât done it yet, they probably wonât ever.â
âI hope not,â she said, checking her cuffs and scooping up Penni, who chirped a little greeting. âThe last thing we need is more things to worry about.â
âOr to send you through more times.â His worry showed through the edges of his speech. âYou donât have toââ
âLetâs go again.â
âOkay.âÂ
~~~
Stephen made it out of the fire and he could have cried with gratitude. The firefighters who arrived on scene seemed very startled to see him stumble out of the building, coughingâthey said that the last man to come out had sworn up and down that there was no one else inside.
And they swore with equal fervor that they hadnât sent anyone else in. They claimed that he must have made it out under his own steam somehowâadrenaline, maybe?
Stephen knew better.
âThere are two options,â he told Marian when he explained everything to her later that day. Her brow was furrowed like it always was when she tried to solve a problem. âEither I have a literal guardian angel, or somehow the exact same person is traveling through time and space to save me.â
âIâm not sure which is more improbable,â Marian said slowly. They were sitting at the table, and her fingers twitched against the surface like she wished she had something to write on. âBending time and space isnâtâŠunheard of, per se, but weâre years away from being able to achieve it under our own steam. And if we assume theyâre from the future, theyâd be moving into the past, which is, theoretically, even harder.â
âBut then thereâs the guardian angel idea,â Stephen said, grinning at her expression. âWhich you think is scientifically impossible?â
She let out a long sigh. âIâve learned not to count anything out when it comes to our faith. SoâŠI donât know.â
Reaching across the table, Stephen caught her hand and gave it a squeeze. âWeâll just have to pray that whatever this is keeps ending up at the right place at the right time.â
Their prayers were answered when, two years later, someone tried to shoot Stephen again. And again, he was pulled out of the way just in time.
~~~
âSo,â Tad said, staring at the screen.
âYup,â she said.
âA sibling, huh?â
She rolled her eyes. âLetâs do it again.â
~~~
It started happening more frequently. A near knifing in an alleyway, a car barreling toward him as he crossed the street. Every time, it was thwarted. Sometimes, he didnât even see it comingâthe coffee knocked out of his hands that hissed alarmingly on contact with the concrete, leaving it pitted and worn, for instance.
But every time, the attackers failed. And eventually, Stephen started to wonder if they should stop prevention and start focusing on the attackers. The only problem? He had no idea how to do that.
So he decided to reach out to the person who did.
~~~
âHow. Did he do that?â Tad asked, staring at the screen.
âHe must have realized what weâre doing, somehow,â she whispered. âI mean, heâs married to an astrophysicist, he has to have picked something up.â
Shaking his head, Tad said, âOkay, then how do we respond?â
She stared at the screen for a moment longer, thinking as she reread the lines on the screen. More specifically, the email Tad had found during his usual archive wide search for anything pertaining to Stephen Reid.
Heâd sent it to himself, apparently hoping that it would be good enough. And it had been.
To whoever is helping me:
Thank you. I donât know who you are or if youâll receive this, but I have faith itâll end up in the right hands.Â
Clearly someone wants me dead, for whatever reason. Instead of preventing it, why donât we get rid of the attackers? Let me know how and when to help.
Stephen.
âWhat do we do?â Tad asked quietly
She studied it for a moment longer, then said, âWe answer. I can slip him a message on my next trip. Have you located who it is and why yet?â
âI think so.â Opening a new screen, Tad tapped on the article he pulled up. âThereâs a stabbing, two years from the next attempt, in an alley nearby his route to work. Exactly the kind of thing heâd get involved in and try to stop, right?â
Nodding slowly, she said, âRight. But why this person?â
âNo idea. Theyâre dead in every timeline so far. They must do something that the attackers arenât a fan of.â
Taking a deep breath, she said, âThen letâs hope weâre not actually on their side.â
~~~
~FREEPORT~
For a while, Stephen didnât think his message had worked. Things were peacefulâno attacks, no poisonings. Marian found out she was pregnant again, and nine months somehow managed to fly and drag by until she gave birth to a healthy baby boy, who they named Isaiah.
And then three months after that, it happened again.
At exactly the right moment, he was pushed forward, just in time to avoid a bunch of tiles crashing to the ground from the roof. When he caught his balance and his breath, there was no one there. But when Stephen put his hands in his jacket pocket as he started onward again, he found a slip of paper.
10/11/71. Four in the afternoon on your way home from work. Watch the alleyway off Racine. Be ready.
This was it. This was the answer. A little under a year in future, heâd be able to fix this, for good. Whatever this was.
So he kept the paper tucked in his pocket until it grew worn, the folds flimsy. He kept going with lifeâworked and went to church and looked after his wife and children. He avoided two more attacks in that time, and every time, his mysterious helper was there just in time, only to disappear before he could get a good look at her.
Finally, the day came. Stephen usually carried a knife, out of habit, and this time he made sure he had it, just in case. The day passed in a haze of business as he worked with patients and did paperwork and wondered what exactly was going to happen.
And then work was over. It was 3:45, and he was walking home from work, hands tucked in his pockets, trying to pretend like his heart wasnât thundering in his chest.
3:47. He passed the cart that sold churros. Oftentimes he stopped to buy one and chat with the owner, but for now Stephen just gave her a little wave and kept moving, pace brisk.
3:50. A couple of kids zipped by on bikes, laughing.
3:51. He heard footsteps behind him, and his heart lurched. Be ready, Stephen.
3:55. The sidewalk came to an end at an intersection, and he turned onto the sidewalk along Racine.
3:58. He wove through a group of teenagers and sped up a little. He could see the opening for the alleyway.
3:59. Heart pounding in his throat, Stephen came to a stop outside the alleyway.
4:00.
For a heartbeat, there was nothing. And then he heard a muffled scream from the alleyway.
Instinctively, Stephen started forward, concern rippling through him. It had been the voice of a girlâyoung, too young. Most likely not his helper, but that didnât lower his concern.
He made it two steps forward before he was grabbed from behind. Stephen vaguely registered the cold press of steel against his throat for a heartbeat before he moved, driving an elbow backward into his attackerâs gut.
There was a gruntâa manâs voice, judging by the baritoneâbut the grip didnât loosen. Until Stephen snapped his head backward , connecting solidly with the other manâs nose.
There was a crunch and a howl of pain, and Stephen felt the knife at his throat break skinâ
And then the grip was gone, and he was stumbling forward, hand pressed against the shallow cut on his neck. Spinning around, Stephen registered a man in all black taking a swing at a young womanâgreen jacket, hair dyed blue at the tips, holding a weapon he didnât recognize. What looked like a tiny flying saucer hovered next to her shoulder.
âHelp her!â she shouted, dodging her opponentâs blow with ease.
For a moment, Stephen didnât know what she meant. And then he remembered the scream from the alleyway, and turned. Pulling his knife from his pocket, he moved.
There were two men, both trying to subdue a struggling, terrified girl. One had a hand over her mouth, and the other held a wickedly curved knife. Stephen took a moment to wonder why these people insisted on using knives, and then he was on top of them.
Clearly, either of the men were expecting him. The one holding the blade went flying into the wall with a cry of pain, clutching his shoulder where Stephenâs knife had gone deep, tearing through muscle.
 The second tried to reel backward, avoiding Stephen as he clutched for his own weapon while clinging to his victim. But Stephen smashed his fist into the manâs face, catching hold of the girlâs arm and pulling her away at the same time, using the manâs momentum as he fell to tear her free.
He took a minute to glance at herâno sign of injuries, just bright red hair and freckles and shocked tears starting to escapeâand then turned to face his opponents again.
Only to find them gone, a trace of blood on the ground the only sign that theyâd been there in the first place.
What? Baffled, Stephen turned in a full circle, then glanced at the girl. âAre you okay?â he asked, and she nodded shakily. âOkay. Wait here a minute. Call if you need me.â
Moving quickly, he headed back to the mouth of the alleyway, to see if there was any sign of his mysterious helper, or her opponent. But there was nothing. Just the now oddly dusty sidewalk, passersby who seemed to have no idea what had happened, andâ
A scrap of white paper. Stephen bent and picked it up, unfolding it, and read the now familiar lopsided script inside.
Sheâs safe. You both are, unless you see me again. Look after her. Donât worry about the other attackers.
There was no signature, although Stephen hadnât expected one. A wave of relief swept over him, and he breathed out a prayer of thanks.
He was safe. They were both safe. It was done.
~~~
~Afraid Of Time~
âItâs not done,â she said.
âWhat?â Tad stared at her, baffled. âHow can it not be done? We saved the victims, including a victim we didnât even know we had until now, helped catch time traveling murderers, and hopefully weâre not even getting arrested for using government property without permission. Your mom might not even yell at us. How is this not a winââ
He stopped short, looking at her. As she looked at the computer file in front of her, wishing the words were different.
Stephen Reid. Died 10/12/83
âZee.â Tadâs voice was soft. âYou canât stop everything.â
âThatâs kind of the point of this whole time travel thing, Tad. I can.â Taking a deep breath, she said, âIâm stopping this. Iâm going in again.â
~~~
Stephen had always loved autumns. The crisp, cool air, the knowledge of the approaching season that heralded celebrations and wonder and joy and family time. How could he do anything but love it?
Sure, heâd almost died at this time of year a few times, but with his life, when was that not true?Â
It had been 12 years since the last incident. Heâd helped the girlâJenny, a teenager whoâd been alone and afraid and had no idea why those men had attacked herâto the hospital to get checked out. They repeated the same impossible story to the police over and over until they finally got tired of asking and declared the case closed. Stephen was fine with it. Heâd been told they were safe, and he believed that.
Years had passed. Jenny became all but a member of the family, and he and Marian encouraged her and supported as she chose a career path and moved forward with her life. Stephen still wasnât sure what the men wanted with her, but it didnât matter. Her purpose was her own to discover.
His other two children were far too close to grown up for his taste, as well. Isaiah was thirteen, flirting with girls, and discovering a love for basketball paralleled only by his love for mischief. And Zara was in college, pursuing a degree in physics.
He held great hope and joy for both of them, that they would grow up to change the world in whatever small or big ways the Lord had planned for them. If Stephen was being honest, he held a very specific theory for one of them, as time passed and the similarity grew stronger and stronger.
And that was why, on his walk home from work, he wasnât overly surprised to see a familiar figure at his bus stop.
She was sitting on the bench, knees pulled up against her chest. Her hair, dark like her motherâs where it wasnât blue, covered her face in a curtain, and the tiny flying saucer hovered at her shoulder again. As Stephen drew closer, he heard it letting out soft little chirps, like it was trying to comfort her.
Sitting next to her with a grunt, Stephen set down his bag and leaned back. Glancing at her, he said, âNice day, isnât it?â
Her chin jerked up a little, like she was surprised to hear his voice, then lowered again. Stephen watched her for a moment, debating whether or not he should speak again, when she did, voice low and cautious.
âIf you could know the day that you died, would you want to?â
Stephen considered for a moment, tapping a finger against his knee. âI donât know,â he admitted. âMy instinct would be noâwhy live in dread of something like that? But I canât say I would be curious.â
âWho wouldnât be?â the girl agreed, voice still quiet. âWhat ifâŠwhat if you could stop it? If someone just told you the right things?â
A heavy feeling began to settle over Stepehnâs chest. âCan you?â he asked, abandoning all pretense.
She let out a choked sob, and Stephen felt a stab of sadness. âI tried,â she choked out. âI tried again and again, but no matter what I doââ
âItâs okay,â Stephen told her, gently reaching out to touch her shoulder. âItâs not your fault.â
Letting her feet drop down, the girl scrubbed a hand across her face angrily. âYou donât understand.â
âI think I might,â Stephen said, his voice very soft.
She shook her head. âNo, you donât. For you, itâs been another twenty years, but for meâŠI thought Iâd get to go home andââ she stopped short, staring across the street, eyes red.
âAnd Iâd be there?â
She swiveled to face him, eyes going wide. âWhatâhow did youââ
âYouâre my daughter, Zara. How could I not recognize you?â
Her face crumpled, and Stephen slid across the bench to pull her into a hug as she burst into tears. She pressed her face against his shoulder and he ran his hand over her hair, the way he used to when she was a little girl.
Closing his eyes against tears of his, he whispered, âItâs okay.â
âItâs not,â she mumbled, voice muffled by his shirt. âI was supposed to get you back.â
âYou did,â Stephen pointed out. âJust not for as long as you wanted. But you were the one who saved me, so many times. Youâre the reason I got to watch you and Isaiah grow up, and I will never stop being grateful for that. Youâre the reason Jennyâs alive.â
âItâs not enough,â she whispered. âThis shouldnât be the last time I see you.â
Stephen almost laughed, tears springing to his eyes. âIt wonât be. If thereâs one thing I hope your mother and I taught you, itâs that.â
Pressing a kiss against the top of her head, he pulled back a little, taking a look at her. Zara had his wifeâs beauty and dark wavy hair, and he wondered when she would dye the tips blue. Her eyes were the same warm brown as Marianâsâoh, Marianâand right now, they were wet with tears.
âI donât want to let you go,â she said, voice shaking.
âI know,â Stephen said, heart aching. All he wanted was to tell his daughter that it was going to be okay, that he was going to be able to come home. But it was becoming increasingly clear that he couldnât make that promise.
Instead, he asked, âTell me about what you do next. Tell me everything.â
So they sat on the bench, and Zara told him about her work and her best friend Tadâwhom Stephen had already met, but the two hadnât grown close yetâand how Isaiah was coaching at a local high school and Marian was still working, still looking out for Jenny, still going to church every day. âShe still loves you so much,â Zara told him. âEven when I never knew you, sheâd tell me about you and how important you were to her. IâI thought I could bring you home to her.â
âYou did,â Stephen pointed out, remembering all the days heâd almost died, and all the days his daughter had saved his life. His daughter.
Eventually, the bus came around the corner, and the little flying saucer at Zaraâs shoulder let out a chirp. Zaraâs eyes widened, and she glanced up. âIââ
âYou have to go,â Stephen guessed.
âI donât want to,â she whispered.
âI know. But if this is it, I donât want you to have to watch it.â
Shaking her head, Zara said, âYou shouldnât have to be alone.â
âIâm not alone,â Stephen told her, and he meant it. Though his heart was heavy with grief, it wasnât for him. And he knewâhe was sure of itâthat his family would be alright. They were strong enough to look after each other without him.
Getting to his feet, he waited until Zara did the same, then pulled her into a fierce hug. âI love you,â he told her. âAnd Iâm proud of you. You and Isaiah, youâre the best thing Iâve ever done.â
She was openly crying now, but nodded, holding him tightly for another minute. âI love you, too,â she said.
And then stepped back and the bus was there. Stephen took one last look at her, taking in every detail. At last, he turned and boarded the bus, taking a seat in the back.
It lurched into motion, and Stephen glanced out the window at the now empty bus stop. Iâll see you again, he thought. And he knew, in his heart, it was true.
Pulling out his phone, he opened up his text messages and began one to Marian.
I love you, Mari. I love the life weâve lived together for the past twenty years. Thank you for being the best wife and friend I could have ever asked for.Â
Looking up, Stephen took one last look around him, and wondered what would come next. He knew more than most sitting on the bus did, and yet found himself frightened. And yet, at the same time, excited.
Whatever else happened, he was ready, with no regrets.
He sent the text.
~~~
Zara was still crying when she stumbled back into her own time, bones aching fiercely. Most trips, sheâd taken a break in between, but for the past five or so, sheâd gone in without stopping, time after time. Trying desperately to stop what she knew was going to happen.
It hadnât worked.
But somehow, despite the tears and the ache in her heart, it was okay.
âZara?â
Tad had moved to stand in front of her, face twisted with concern. âAre you okay? Orâare you hurt?â
Shaking her head, Zara took a shaking breath. âIâm okay,â she said, and he gave her an unconvinced look. âFine, Iâm not hurt. And IâŠâ she trailed off.
âIt didnât work,â Tad said quietly. âZee, I know you want to do this, but so many trips in a row are hurting you. And if this is so hard to stopââ
âI know,â Zara said, taking a deep breath. âItâs okay. IâmâŠIâm not going in again.â
Tadâs eyes widened. âReally? IâI didnât expect that to work.â
âIt didnât,â Zara said, and couldnât hold back a laugh at his expression. âIâŠI talked to my dad. Itâs okay.â
âYouâre sure?â Tad said slowly. âBecause five minutes ago you were very ready to keep doing this or die trying.â
Nodding, Zara swiped a hand over her face, ridding herself of the last traces of tears. âI am. I got to say goodbye, andâŠheâs right. Iâm gonna see him again. Someday.â
Resting a gentle, if slightly awkward, hand on her shoulder, Tad nodded. âIâm glad. Heâd be proud of you, Zee.â
âThanks, Tad.â Zara took a deep breath. It was time to stop living in the past, and start looking at the new, and slightly changed present she had waiting for her.
And when the time came to see her father again, she would greet him with joy and the knowledge that sheâd lived her life to the fullest, like he had. Until then, all she could do was take the first step toward doing that.
#inklingschallenge#team tolkien#inklings challenge#genre: time travel#theme: counsel#theme: comfort#story: complete#this actually turned out so much better than i thought it would#there were. some moments#but i like the vibes#also now i'm obsessed with two of these ocs and need to feature them in more content#fun fact this could and probably does exist in the same universe as my kyvis stories#which is a HILARIOUS concept that i shall have to explore more#anyway i digress#i'd apologize for how overboard i went with the playlist BUT#a) you can just ignore it if you want to#and b) it's a masterpiece and i love it so much#it's for the VIBES GUYS#and i haven't spent this long waiting to find a character that fits how do i say goodbye only to not share when i do find one#MOVING ON#writing stories is a kind of magic too
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Feeling conflicted about the cyberpunk thingy impulse is going for because like yeah itâs a great theme and I like the aesthetics a lot but what I really like most about cyberpunk is the themes of corporate alienation and/or transhumanism etc etc which I know will not be addressed at all and in fact itâs kind of stupid of me to expect that at all from a minecraft series. Does anyone else get that or just me
#this is an issue Iâve been having with mcyt content in general you know. not ragging on impulse specifically#itâs just⊠I find it difficult to reconcile the quality of narrative focused mcyt content with its complete lack of commentary#should it have commentary? I believe it could if it wanted to. I donât think it has to#but then you see these genres being⊠skinned and worn as cloaks#taking the aesthetics and story without any of the meaning behind it#and when it was just Minecraft builds that was expected. I guess it is still expected and Iâm being a huge snob#but like. mcyt narrative is so fucked from a quality standpoint. you canât even have villains who are other mcyters because people#will get mad at them#is that an unrelated issue? maybe. but I donât think so#idk. mcyters arenât expected to be storytellers and they donât need to be#but I see these things happen over and over again and itâs just uncanny to see something that walks like a story talks like a story#but at the same time has absolutely nothing of value to say#itâs very early on so maybe there will be something done with this concept but I doubbbt it. I would be very pleasantly surprised#astro speaks#hermitcraft#not putting this in the impulse tag cause he would be more likely to see it#and I donât want him to feel like he has to address this at all#itâs more just me noticing a trend
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Happy New Year!!! đđđ
That's fantastic that you're learning Chinese! How long have you been studying the language? đž
I have an interest in learning too and I am curious what the learning/studying process has looked like for you.
If you're comfortable sharing - are you taking classes? Or have a 1:1 tutor? Or are you doing a little of everything? (Classes, tutoring, immersing self in language with shows, music, etc.)
Have you picked up other languages? đ
Can't wait to hear your thoughts on other books once you start reading the raws. đđŸđđŸđđŸ
Happy New Year!
I only started studying back in late November, and everything so far has been self-taught through apps. The grammar is surprisingly not the difficult part, so the vocab acquisition is whatâs tripping me up. Also the fact that hanzi is a completely different writing system than the Roman alphabet can be a little trippy, so I have to train my eyes to differentiating characters.
Currently, Iâm only focused on learning how to read hanzi, so Iâm not looking into classes or teachers. After I finish job hunting, maybe thatâll change. I also somewhat self-taught myself Spanish, but with that 1) I had a foundation from school, even if it was a poor one, 2) Spanish is still a romance language which means itâs not too difficult going from English to Spanish for me, and 3) I had a native speaker as a conversation buddy for a while. My Spanish is passable as long as I engage with it every now and then.
#silver-cyn#my biggest hurtle with spanish is that#my thoughts are written words#if i canât pair a sound to itâs written form#or i donât know how something is written#Iâm more liable to be confused/not remember it#and i have yet to be able to find the mexican literature scene#or modern novels in genres i like originally written in spanish#rather than them being translated from other languages#i wouldnât have that problem with chinese#i just need to build up my vocabulary more
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COP 3 really bringing out the worst of the "female coded MCs" takes on Choices Reddit. Lord please yeet me into Mount Atropo.
#like please ask yourself#why is the MC getting walked down the aisle only cringe or problematic when its a non-female MC. do yall not hear yourselves.#i mean I'm not gonna pretend Choices doesn't or has never had gender coding problems#and I'm also not gonna pretend like Choices doesn't write with wlm routes in mind#PB seriously does need more variety and should let us have masculine MCs and feminine LIs#but when ppl are acting like it's only a problem for m!MCs (and sometimes nb!MCs) that's where I start to lose sympathy#Choices and tbh most content in the romance genre in general is already alienating to us GNC/genderqueer folks#+ ppl who like non-normative romance#and takes like these just further alienate us#like idk psure there are men who LIKE being treated as the bride (and their female partner being the groom if mlw) for fucking once#and you'd be hard pressed to find media let alone an interactive game that lets them live out that fantasy#these stories may not have been intentionally made for them but it'd still be pretty fuckin meaningful that they get that here#and who knows maybe it can pave the way for other media to do it too and maybe even better/intentionally#it's fine to want masc MCs but dont act like its not important for f!players too#because as a gal I'm still waiting on when these stories will let me watch my husband-to-be walk down the aisle :P#cop 3#cop 3 spoilers#crimes of passion#crimes of passion 3#crimes of passion 3 spoilers#choices game#choices#choices stories you play#choices stories we play fandom#choices stories we play#cadybear vents#cadybear rants
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how did i not know there was an amnesia: memories musical..... an entire decade ago...................................................
#actually really difficult to find english language info about it. it seems they had like#a system where each performance had a different ending for the different boys LOL#so if you wanted to see kents ending youd have to come on a specific day etc#there was a dvd release which appears to have all the endings included which is neat. another reason to practice my japanese#id definitely like to check out the songs specifically. you know im already tracking down the cd. you KNOW#i do love amnesia. not the greatest game. theres complications with the artist too LOL#but it was a WILD ass game. especially for my first full otome game i had ever played#i still havent played anything else with this intense genre whiplash between routes#i didnt care much for shins romance but i loved his route because it was straight up just a mystery thriller#tomas was a horror and it was awesome obvs#kents was like a sweet and nice little romantic drama#ikki was like a normal showbiz drama complete with darker elements but also hes an accountant for some reason instead of a celebrity#which is really funny to me HKJDSHJKLDADSd and ukyos his own thing going on. his own intensely otome game-ass thing <3#it was awesome. i need to play more otome games again so many have been released in the past couple years#i need my tonal and genre whiplash. i neeeeeeeeeed it
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rant about dib and him being white-passing in the show (while still being mexican) under the cut
#breakingmysilence i actually like that dib is pasty and mexican at the same time (in the series). i like that if you look at him you will literally never guess that he has any bit of culture in him. i like that he's whiter than snow at first glance. and i like that he's still mexican nonetheless. because people like that exist, i look white but that's because im mixed, my dad was puerto rican with the features and everything. he tried to get me more into our culture but my mom's side of the family wouldn't let him. thats off topic but you get it. ive gotten into arguments with people over my skin because i told them i was puerto rican and they thought i was rcta or some bullshit. they thought i was literally lying. that's what i thought when i heard that dib was mexican. until i thought about it more and i was like "oh. thats how people feel about me. im enforcing stereotypes that people have to look their race to be their race" and i accepted it immediately. because we don't, we don't have to look our race to have the privilege of identifying with it, we don't have to grow up in a household that's stereotypically assigned to our race to say that we are that race, we can't control that. it's not about that. its about our genetics and that is it. if you're half black, you can say you're black. if you're chinese you can say you're chinese. even if you dont have those features you still are. it doesn't matter what you look like. i feel like we don't get that enough in media, which is why i like that dib looks white so much.
tldr: we don't choose our features or our skin tones, just because somebody LOOKS white doesn't mean they are and i like that we get that with dib.
#dib membrane#dib iz#iz dib#rant#iz#invader zim#ive had this in my head for a few days now but i can finally put it into words#i feel like we need more rep for this genre of character in media#for every character that doesn't appear to be the race that they are there's like 20 that do (specifically in modern media)#maybe im just looking at things that came out recently or im just not finding the right media#but i still feel like it should exist more in new media too#you know what im gonna do im gonna make a human zim design and make him the pastiest motherfucker ever#and then make him puerto rican#because he's literally me#and we need more characters like that#and its my design#and i can do what i want#and nobody can stop me#MWAHAHAHAHAHAAA
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unironically though i think smt may be one of my current favorite examples of creatively implementing theological concepts into its narratives in a way that completely recontextualizes the roles they play. and i don't necessarily mean in the way that god represents law and lucifer represents chaos which are Nuanced Actually i mean that there's usually god and lucifer but then also a dozen other different names for god and lucifer that are basically the same guy irl but in the context of smt they occupy completely different roles with particular philosophies often all within the same game to the point where you'll have both lucifer and satan and maybe an antichrist/anti-messiah who is neither of the former two people and then god who isn't simply god but YHVH but may also be named the creator but who is also subordinate to a greater will and none of these closely related culturally distinct takes on the same idea will step on eachother's toes and i think it's such a fun way to approach ideas like this
#i wouldn't say smt is COMPLETELY reinventing the narratives around these concepts or that no other media has ever tried before#but the alternative is the most pastiche take on One God Guy and One Devil Guy#and even individual smt games don't stick to one core concept all the time#some series will have their entire own theology only loosely based on the real thing#i need to find more demon-angel genre shit so i can see how much media actually does try to reinterpret these ideas#i said fuck it and went in the smt direction too and it's genuinely incredibly fun to just throw all these concepts in the ballpit#and pull them out and ask 'now who are they in THIS context'
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I need to listen to more goth music
#Hayley Speaks#Starting to realize that my taste in that genre is along the lines of like#Evanescence; Within Temptation; The Birthday Massacre#And also Voltaire and Creature Feature#I need to find more bands that sound like that#Also I still have doubts about me being a REAL fan of goth music and yet I go and list at least five bands/singers I know/like several-#-songs from#'I'm so fake' Bro no you're not; you like goth music#Anyway I need more
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helloooo! i've been following your writing/coding journey since the early days of sentinel and it's been so nice watching your story-telling blossom into a masterpiece. i love project hadea a lot and the characters are all so compelling i always have trouble choosing who to romance (rohan refuses to kiss me lmao). forgive me if you've been asked this question a million times already, but i was wondering what are some of your literary inspirations? what sort of writing shaped your style? it's one that i wish i could achieve one day tbh!!
WAH this is so kind of you đ„ș
i'm sure i've spoke before about some of my inspirations but i am always happy to do it again:)
my writing style tends to go through phases- i feel like i write hadea slightly differently to some of my other projects, particularly the shorter ones. often, when I'm going for something poetic, i can't maintain that for as long, or i feel like it gets effortful; some authors seem able to maintain a really lovely style for long-form works. i'd say max gladstone (and there's no way you've followed me this long without seeing me talk about him before lmfao), julia armfield (who wrote our wives under the sea), louise erdrich (the painted drum, the antelope wife) are all authors whose prose particularly sticks out to me as something i'd like to emulate.
i'll also have to shout out adrian tchaikovsky and peter watts as scifi authors who manage to maintain a very effortless, easy to read style while writing hard scifi; it's not easy to do, but they pull it off, often with clarity and humour i really admire. and their work is not without poetry! i also really like adrian tchaikovsky's tendency to skew sharply into and out of horror: he's got such a knack for atmosphere and tone, something that really stands out to me whenever i read his work.
i'm trying to read more nonfiction/autobiography type stuff, as well: i recently finished billy-ray belcourt's 'a history of my brief body', and in the summer i read ocean vuong's 'on earth we're briefly gorgeous' (which is fiction, but in a similar vein); I'm hoping to read more joan didion this year, as well. i think reading stuff like this is a good way to develop both empathy and also an interesting study in tackling highly personal emotional stuff, and in a lot of cases i do feel i can learn a lot from the prose of these works.
i also read quite a bit of poetry, in itself, which i think helps; i like my writing to have a rhythm to it, and i tend to find that reading poetry helps a lot with that.
finally, as i think i've mentioned before, i love the magnus archives and the writing in that: i think that writing stuff that's meant to be read out loud/performed is a really interesting exercise, even if that's not the final goal, and it really helps to develop a sense of rhythm for your prose.
#i try to read as widely as i can#obviously i have favourite genres. i'm a scifi bitch at heart#but i do tend to chameleon my writing style after the last thing i read#so it can be quite variable#and i'm not as vigilant as i could be about reading back my own writing#i also wanna get into more surreal fiction. i need to read house of leaves sooooo badly#if u want specific recs i can do that but i've listed a bunch of authors i've read in the last year i find inspiring:)#hope this answers your question a little bit!#therosejamjournal#thank you for asking<33 and for saying nice things to me MWAH
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Substance, Shadow, and Spirit [remixed, abridged] by Tao Yuanming
#liv in the replies#patrice bergeron#boston bruins#brad marchand#do you ever think about how brad marchand said that when bergy retired he would retire or are you capable of normal thought i'm not at all#please say a gratitude for both my sanity& y'all that this poem (which has been saved in my camera roll with the vague idea of using it for#??? âlong) & not one of the poems i had saved for carey for a really long time & remixed & everything with another poem until i found a poe#that absolutely murdered me in cold blood but there is an alternate universe where i did& then had to explain my unhinged thoughts to you.#anyway how are we feeling about bergy retirement. pspspspsp sara & luna are y'all doing okay like. the doc title for this one was#patrice the hockey player means a lot to me but patrice the person means so much more#which is why the end line of the other poem was so *%"@^)! (you love / what you are) because patrice does. like he is a whole ass good huma#& now since no one asked i need to tell you all the details about everything also y'all please clap i made an edit with NO baby pictures#although i did find one & save it & minimal genres of photo i always use in edits because they're my taste & aesthetic but anyway.#when i saved the first photo and marked it as one i wanted i accidentally wrote âhow will he know they love himâ which is not the line but#makes me feel feral about patrice & the rest of them all had hurtful names too but also. the third picture is literally a CELLY like brad#just scored a goal & he is clinging to bergy for dear life with that shit i saved that as âoh the agony on his face for unendurableâ#& yes it is one of my cliches to have a draft day picture but in my defense the lifelong bond that patrice has/d with boston deserved to be#there even if i put in the love story & YES that picture is from the 2011 playoff right below it shared joy & pain & i couldn't tell you#when the brad marchy photo for together forever is except for the fact that i saw it & just the gut punch of oh my god the way he looks at#things men will praise you for is the stanley cup. duh. but i love the contrast of âsome deedâ being the stanley cup but then#bergy's choice to do noble deeds (ends up still earning praise &that's my note to his efforts outside of hockey we love a supportive captai#should also mention the first two i came up with & had the photos i knew i wanted for were the first and last one alskaldk but i KNEW i#wanted chara somewhere in the paragraph about leaving & then while i was looking found the one of bergy playing tuukka on accident & yes#i do have to make goalie jokes every time. no reprieve . no dice/no deal/no goal goalies have no rest/reprieve etc etc the one that killed#me though was looking for a patrice award pic & i wanted basically the one that i got for âhow will you know any will praise youâ & instead#also got the picture of patrice winning the some community hero award for charity work that he does & i love him mama & of COURSE that puck#is from bergy's 1000 game who do you think I am (if you guessed sleepy and emotional about patrice you'd be right) and ALSO please be ready#for all the patrice posts/bruins posts that have been sitting in my drafts to be released on this occasion of patrice retirement#I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT TUUKKA ALSO RETIRED THATâS WHY HE WAS ON WISE OR SIMPLE NO REPRIEVE AND THAT LATE OR SOON WAS ALWAYS GOING TO BE#CHARA BECAUSE CHARA LEFT FIRST TO GO TO THE CAPS AND THEN LEFT IN RETIRMENT HE LEFT SOON BUT NOT FOR REAL THEN LATER LEFT FOR REAL (RETIRED
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the trouble with learning a minority language is that once you've hit the upper-intermediate stage of actually reading books in the language and so on, it doesn't take very long to exhaust the books at your level that you have any interest in whatsoever, and then there aren't any more. so you read the ones you're not really interested in, but that feels like Work, because you're not really interested in them. but it doesn't exactly get better as you get more advanced because even the more difficult books tend not to correspond too closely to your preferred genres
#there's a serious lack of queer historical romance as gaeilge i'll tell you that#or yunno queer genre fiction in general :/#RIP#i haven't completely exhausted my book collection but the number of unread books is shrinking#and most of the others available at my reading level are translations#which a) i tend to find have harder language relative to the level of the story#and b) don't feel as helpful in learning the rhythms of storytelling in the languages#i will read them but i want more original fiction to read too#probs gonna have to email an siopa leabhar and be like. help me. i need you to send me more books#personal#néide ag foghlaim gaeilge#i'm pretty sure that tag is grammatically incorrect but blame me from three years agp
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getting into a new fandom and finding 0 fics for it on ao3 đ is it over
#delete later#it's 4am where i live and i cannot sleep which is v frustrating bc i have work as always#and i will truly private this when i am more awake and embarrassed but the fandom is k//ill//er p//et//er on we//bto//on#aka k//ill//er p//ie//tro depending on the translation scans site#it's only ~30 (scrollable webcomic format) eps so far... very action-y and digestible#but man. the titular character...#..............#seasoned assassin who succeeds despite the crazy odds stacked against him out of sheer competence and experience#what if he had a cold đđđ#i was actually reading it for reference for something more action-oriented i'm working on to familiarize myself more with the genre#my personal investment was not part of the plan (đ€Ą)#i don't think i can be the one to post the first ever fic on ao3 and have it be a gratuitous sickfic đ i don't have it in me#also i think it would not quite live up to the joy of reading someone else's thoughts about how he'd operate when unwell... but sadly there#is 0 demand for it except for me and it's also not the kind of genre where we would ever get that arc in canon#...next time i need to find something with at least 1 sickfic on ao3 before i get emotionally invested
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