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godsandmonsters505 · 1 year

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Roll Like Thunder | Negan Smith

dbf!Negan Smith (The Walking Dead) x younger fem!reader

(AU where the apocalypse never happened)

Summary: Negan is your dad's best friend and the two of you settle some tension while on your family vacation.

Warnings (18+): age gap (reader is college age, maybe 20-ish, and Negan's age is not specified but I'm feeling early 50s), smut (fem receiving oral, unprotected p in v), possibility of getting caught, edging

Notes: this actually kinda turned out sweet in a way I think, which is surprising because that's not often an outcome when I write for Negan lmao. not proofread yet because I just wanted to get it out to you all asap, but will edit if needed when I get the chance. hope you enjoy!! (also the intro is kinda long oops)

Grabbing your glass of wine you take another much needed swig, cringing at your dad and uncle. They always find some way to turn every conversation into a political argument while the rest of your family eat their meals and exchange knowing glances

Family holidays were always like this. The one time a year when everyone was together: your parents, aunt, uncle and cousins. Only this year, there was a new addition.

Negan had grown up being a close friends with both your father and uncle and they are still best friends to this day. He recently went through a messy divorce and this is his first Christmas without his wife in a long time. Your dad never was good with showing kindness or friendship, but your uncle had convinced him it would be a good idea to invite him to his cabin for your annual Christmas getaway.

And that's how you got here.

You'd always had a little bit of a crush on Negan, for as long as you could remember. Though you never saw much of him as a kid. It wasn't until you got older - old enough to be able to drink in front of your parents - that you got to spend more time with him. Drinking was a big part of their social life, so once you could join in, you got to know him better. You got on well with your parents so you'd have barbeques with them and their friends, join in with conversations in the kitchen when they'd have people over, go out to dinner. But then you went off to college and started spending less and less time with them. So now it's Christmas time, you're happy to be able to spend time with your family. And Negan, more than you'd care to admit.

"Okay fellas," your mom chimes in. "Enough of that."

Negan makes eye contact with you from across the other side of the table and you smirk at each other. You're both all too familiar with watching this from an outside perspective.

"The food's delicious, Negan," she adds, turning to Negan, who had cooked this meal for you all. Sort of as a thank you for letting him tag along. For the first few days in the cabin he felt a little out of place, like he was intruding on your family's time together. But eventually he began to find himself settling. You were lucky to have a very fun, non-judgmental family so everyone was happy to have him there.

You nodded in agreement with your mother's statement. "I'd have more if there was any left." You motion to your empty plate.

"I'm glad it's got your approval, ladies," he grins.

The meal comes to an end and alcohol starts flowing. Your cousins are all younger than you so they head off to their bedrooms to do whatever it is kids their age do.

"I'd better get these dishes cleaned," Negan declares, standing up from his seat.

"No," you say, protesting. "You cooked. I'll clean."

"It's fine, you don't have to," he says kindly.

"I want to," you smile. "Really I'm happy to."

"We'll do them together?" He suggests, coming to a compromise and you nod in agreement.

"You raised a stubborn one," he mumbles teasingly to your dad, patting his shoulder as he walks past him.

"She gets that from me," your mom chirps as the two of you pick the plates up from the table and carry them into the kitchen.

Putting the plates on the kitchen top, you head to the fridge and look inside.

"Beer?" you ask, peeking around the door to look at Negan's response. Though you already have two cans in your hand, knowing he won't turn down the offer.

He nods. "Can't do anything without a drink in hand in this family, huh?"

You close the fridge door and pass him his beer, cracking open his own.

"You should be more than aware of that," you tease. "I've heard what you and my dad used to get up to."

"I'm sure you've not even heard the most of it," he teases back.

You laugh softly under your breath at his response.

"I'll wash, you dry?" You suggest as the sink begins to fill with soapy water.

The two of you get the dishes done relatively quickly as Negan tells you a story from his college days. You have to keep yourself composed and remember who he is. Remember that these stories he's telling of him at your age took place before you were even born. A decade before, at least. But, every so often, as you pass him the plates to dry, your fingers touch his and such a small motion has you weak. You can't look him directly in the eyes as he stands so close to you. That signature grin of his spread across his face.

The two of your finish and you take a large swig of your beer, but it's no surprise that the flush of alcohol doesn't help your body heat. You can only hope and pray that your cheeks aren't beetroot red right now.

"I'm sure you've got plenty of stories, though, right?" He asks. "Being in college and all. And with your dad's genes...God."

A playful smile spreads on your face. "Sure. I'm absolutely not telling you though. My dad would have a heart attack."

"Ahh," he smiles back. "So this whole 'good girl' thing is just an act, then?"

Holy shit. Good girl? He has no clue what he is doing to you calling you things like that.

"I can be good when it suits me." You say, almost flirtatiously, and immediately kick yourself. Why the hell would you say something like that to him?

Your off-the-cuff reply has him grinning. He swipes his tongue over his teeth as he contemplates your words and you almost drop to your knees.

"Let's go see what political debate has become the talking point now," you say, changing the topic to hide your complete embarrassment. You leave the kitchen and head to the living room, Negan following.

Somehow, in the time it took you to wash the dishes, your mom and aunt have gone through a bottle and a half of wine, and they're sat on the floor with your dad and uncle playing some sort of drinking game.

You sit down on the couch and Negan sits next to you. Why? Why could he not just sit away from you? Give you some space to compose yourself? But the action is completely innocent. There is just less than a foot between the two of you, yet it still feels like he is on top of you. Like you're breathing the same air.

"What was I just saying?" Negan says, nudging your arm with his elbow. "Alcohol."

You shake your head in playful disagreement with your relatives' actions.

"Hey, mom," you say and her head whips around, as laughter escapes her lips. "Think you've had enough for tonight?"

"Oh, you're so boring," she waves her hand at you dismissively.

The four of them continue for about half an hour as you and Negan observe and laugh. The game finally comes to an end when your aunt and uncle discreetly head off to their bedroom for a reason you don't even want to think about. Your parents follow shortly after, your dad having to carry your drunk mom up the stairs.

You come back from the kitchen where you were getting another lager for you and Negan. As you do so, you look for the TV controller and find a blanket that was lying around. You sit down again next to Negan and look down at your phone to check the time.

"God, it's not even 10 o'clock yet." You laugh.

"Amateurs," he says sarcastically.

You pass him his beer which he thanks you for, then get under you blanket.

"Want some?" You ask, holding out some excess blanket towards him.

"Sure," he accepts, getting comfortable himself.

The whole situation you're in is completely innocent, but it dawns on you that you're currently alone with Negan, tucked under the same blanket. Given that fact, you make a conscious effort not to touch him at all and try to remain composed.

"Put a movie on?" You ask him, passing the TV remote to him.

He takes it from your hand, brushing his fingertips across yours.

You watch him carefully as he selects a film to put on, making sure not to get caught admiring him. He just looks so good. The salt and pepper sprinkled throughout his hair and beard. The tattoos that cover his arms. The way his white t-shirt hugs his body just right. You're brought out of your thoughts when he speaks.

"You seen Batman Returns?" He asks, looking down at you.

"Of course," you smile. "It's a classic."

"Feel like watching it again?"

You nod. You'll watch whatever he wants. Do whatever he wants.

"Absolutely," you answer. "I didn't peg you as a Batman kind of guy, to be honest."

"Like you say, it's a classic," he says. "Plus there's always Michelle Pfeiffer."

You laugh at him. "I feel you."

You polish off another beer as you watch the film. You try your best to pay attention, to keep your eyes open, but you grow increasingly tired. It must have only been fifteen minutes into the film when you finally drift off, reality slipping away.

When you wake up again, it takes a while to fully gain consciousness, You feel something under you head, under your arm, but you don't pay much attention to it.

You feel warm. Comfortable. You don't want to wake up, you could stay here forever. The smell of men's shampoo and cologne comforts you, a soft material under the touch of your hand.

All of a sudden reality dawns on you. You realise that your head is leaning on a shoulder. That your hand is draped across a torso. You shoot up, sitting upright and see Negan smiling at you softly through slightly hooded eyes.

"Oh God," you say, feeling incredibly humiliated. "I'm sorry." But he just chuckles.

You look over to the television and see a black screen.

"Did the movie finish?" You ask groggily and he nods. Fuck. You slept for the entire duration of the film and who knows how much of that time you spent laying on Negan's shoulder.

What you're only just realising now, though, is how close you're still sat to him. How even though you're sat up, Negan's shoulder is casually draped across the back of the sofa, dangerously close to your shoulder blades.

"Why didn't you just wake me up?" You ask, feeling flushed.

"You looked peaceful." He answers, honestly. "Didn't want to disrupt you."

"I'm sorry," you apologize again. "You should've woken me up."

"I didn't mind, sweetheart." He insists. "Honestly."

The pet name drives you utterly insane. As if this whole thing wasn't already enough. Your body feels so hot. What with the blanket, his body heat, your arousal.

"I will say though, you do talk quite a bit in your sleep," he smiles coyly and dread shoots through your entire body.

"Wh-what-" you can't even get a full sentence out. "What did I-"

A flash of a dream comes back to you in that moment. Oh God. Oh God, no. You can't remember the details, but you remember the feeling. Negan on top of you. His body weight on you. The ecstasy you felt. His hands on your body. His name slipping from your lips.

You had a sex dream about Negan while you were laying on his Goddamn shoulder. You're lost for words, but Negan is enjoying watching this play out. He bites his lip, trying to suppress his smug grin as he watches you realise the possibilities of what you might have said.

His arm slowly slips off the back of the sofa and creeps around to touch you, the movement making you flinch a little. What is he doing?

He takes his other hand and places two fingers just under your chin, forcing you to look up at him. The two of you make eye contact and you can't even contemplate what is happening - still a little groggy from your nap - before his lips are coming down gently on yours.

You kiss him back almost immediately. It's a surprising delicate and intimate kiss, and you daringly bring your hand up to his neck to pull him in deeper, but he pulls back.

You worry that he is having second thoughts, but the look in his eyes says the complete opposite. He just wants to get a good look at you before he tears you apart. You feel vulnerable under his hungry eyes but you love how it makes you feel.

The two of you take a moment to catch your breath before your lips join again, this time the kiss rougher. More passionate. His arms wrap around your back to pull your body snug to his and you intwine your fingers into his hair, tugging ever so slightly. His large hands snake further down and grab your hips, pulling you onto his lap. As you get comfortable you shift along his length and gasp, feeling that he is already hard.

"You were practically fucking dry humping me in your sleep," he chuckles. "You can't blame me."

"So that's why you didn't want to wake me up, then?" You're barely able to mumble, teasing him.

"Hmm, maybe." You can feel him smile into the kiss and it makes you want him more. Everything about him is so endearing. He just radiates this warmth, this aura, and it's radiating.

Even now, however, you're nervous to move things along. You know what you want but this is still so surreal, and it would be an understatement to say you feel a little intimidated in this moment. You have enough sexual experience, but this is Negan. This is different. So you're glad when he takes control and begins to lift up your top, pulling it over your head to expose your bra.

His mouth makes contact with the flesh of your chest, sucking and nipping while he reaches around to unhook your bra. He feels his cock twitch when he sees your bare breasts, taking a nipple into his mouth immediately as his warm hands roam and caress your back, travelling over your smooth skin.

As you start to subconsciously grind into his bulge, Negan continues to explore your breasts. You're looking for any kind of relief and you begin to find some as he presses up into you, but both of your pants are restricting you.

You feel yourself crumbling further and further as Negan's hands come around to aid him with his attention to your breasts, squeezing and practically groaning as he does so. The noise changes something inside you, and makes you realise that you need him stripped of his clothes right this second.

You grasp the bottom of his shirt and he briefly pulls away from you to allow you to move it, but the second you're done, his lips are back on your skin, leaving marks on your collarbone and neck. Next, you move onto the buckle of his belt but he swats your hand away.

Pulling back from the kiss, you look to him with wide eyes full of confusion. That look alone is nearly enough to cause him to fold and fuck you right then and there. But he has other plans.

"Be patient for me, honey," he says sweetly, and as badly as you want him, you trust him.

He pulls your body flush to his, so that your breasts are pressed entirely against the heat of his chest. Then he grips your lower back and stands up, holding you tightly.

"We can't do this here," he says, carrying you towards the stairs. You grind up against him playfully as he does so and he stops momentarily half way up the stairs, clearly affected by the action. In retaliation he gently swats your ass and you giggle at his response.

"Shh," he hushes, but he can't hide the grin that spreads across his face as you bury your face in his shoulder to muffle the sound.

Being as quiet as possible, he takes you into his bedroom which - awkwardly - is across the hall from your parents' room.

He puts you down on the bed, barely allowing himself to be away from you for a second, climbing on top of you hastily. He goes back to kissing you, the taste of him intoxicating. The way he kisses are gentle yet so hot and passionate at the same time, becoming increasingly sloppy as they shift from your lips to your jaw, neck, chest, abdomen, until you're a writhing mess beneath him.

Once he has kissed so far that he reaches the waist line of your trousers, he unbuttons them and pulls them all the way down. He throws them onto the floor, leaving you just in your lace black panties. He nudges your legs open and moves his kisses to your thigh. He's slowly breaking you and you're not sure how much more you can take. Painstakingly slow, he trails his tongue up your inner thigh until he reaches the edge of your panties.

Eventually he slips your panties off and you tremble as you feel the cool air of his room against your hot, aching core. He places his hands on your inner thighs to push them open further, mouth watering at the sight of you. The delicate touch of his fingers send shivers up your spine and you're in desperate need of more.

"Please, Negan," you say, barely a croak.

"Shh, let me take care of you," he soothes, his voice low and gravelly as he tries his best to stay quiet. "Wanted to taste this sweet pussy for so long."

As if to affirm his words, he lowers his head and licks a stripe straight through your folds, groaning as he feels how wet you are.

He then moves his mouth to make contact with your clit, your hips raising at the action. He starts off by sucking gently, leaving you aching for more as you reach down to grab his hair, not knowing what else to do. He chuckles as you do so and sends vibrations straight through your core. Unable to control yourself, a moan escapes you lips and he squeezes your thighs warningly, wordlessly telling you to be quiet.

He takes his time to precisely pull you apart, but then his motions begins to get harsher, faster. You feel that rising feeling in the pit of your stomach begin to spread after waiting for what feels like so long. He alternates between kissing, sucking, licking, nipping until you're desperate for more. Sensing this, he teases one finger at your entrance.

"Please," you whimper, legs trembling. He answers your pleading by pushing his single digit inside you in one long push, as deep as he can go, and keeping it there momentarily. As he continues to eat you out, he begins moving his finger, fucking you gently. When he adds a second finger you have to clasp your hand over your own mouth to stop yourself from calling out his name. Your legs wrap around his head, wanting to pull him closer to you in any way possible.

Closing your eyes, you feel that white hot feeling flooding through your veins, but right as you're about to reach your peak, he pulls his fingers out and his mouth away from you.

You let out a guttural sound, one of desperation which causes Negan to laugh under his breath.

"Negan, God, please," you whine, putting both your hands on his head and pushing him back down.

"So bossy," he mumbles with a smile on his face, but he obliges.

He doesn't use his fingers on you again, but it makes no difference. You're already pent up enough as it is that it won't take a lot to make you reach your peak. Plus, you don't doubt that Negan's skillful mouth is more than enough for you.

He circles his tongue around your clit, going back to sucking while using his free fingers to absentmindedly trace little patterns into your thighs. The only noises are your heavy pants and the wetness of his mouth against you, and it fills the otherwise deadly silent bedroom.

He's starting to become more familiar with your body and your reactions and he can tell you're getting close again. To which he stops and pulls away yet again.

"Negan," you almost cry. Tears prick in the corners of your eyes as you throb for him. "Please, I need to-"

"I got you baby," he assures you, stroking the flesh of your thighs comfortingly.

You can't bare it. You almost despise him for doing this to you, but you can't. It's all so surreal: having this man between your thighs. So often you have fantasized of it and though it's so wrong, it's now happening.

Before you can beg again, his lips make contact with you. This time he's a man on a mission. His tongue flicks against your clit as two of his fingers slip back inside you. You're so wet that it's an easy motion, but you still feel the tight, delicious stretch. He allows you to get used to it, building you up until he adds a third finger and you have to use all your power not to yell out his name. You try your hardest not to hurt Negan by squeezing your thighs too much or pulling his hair too hard, but he loves it. He loves driving you crazy, seeing you unwind for him. The noises you make. The taste of you.

Relentlessly, he penetrates you with his fingers, pushing and curling his fingers deep inside you, hitting a spot that eventually brings you your release. One last push, one last flick of his tongue and you're falling over the edge. You squeeze your eyes shut and you can't help the animalistic sound that leaves you as white flashes behind your eyelids. He continues eating you out through your orgasm and it hits you that you think you're doing something you never have before.

Once you manage to come around again, you let your legs relax and look down to Negan who looks up at you. He smiles smugly, your wetness remaining in his beard and it causes you to go weak in the knees.

"Did I just-?" Squirt, you want to say. But somehow it doesn't seem like the nicest word to describe what just happened between of the two.

He nods with a glimmer in his eyes as he makes his way up the bed, his body above yours.

"I've never-" you croak. "I've never done that before."

"You just needed a man, that's all," he gloats and you roll your eyes. "It was hot as fuck, for what it's worth."

He leans down and places a soft kiss on your lips. You can taste yourself on him.

You're still shaking a little, but you manage to pull back a little to look him in his eyes.

"Are we really doing this?" You ask, bordering on timid.

"Do you want to?" He counters.

"Yes," you say, quickly, not wanting him to think you're having doubts. Because there is absolutely no doubt in your mind that you want the man above him. Hell, you need him. But somehow you find yourself feeling a little insecure and needing reassurance. "Do you?"

"Darling," he laughs. "Not to be crude, but you just came all over my face. I want this more than you know."

You nod and smile, feeling more confident. "I'm sorry, I just-"

He interrupts your babbling with a long kiss to your lips, silencing you.

"You need to worry less," he says, bringing his hand to stroke your cheek sweetly.

"Make me." You propose flirtingly, smiling up at him.

"That I can do." His lips crash down on yours and his tongue intertwines with yours.

Reaching down to his pants you fumble with his zip, which he helps your shaky hands undo. He shifts both his pants and boxers down off his ankles, and though you can't see his length fully from this angle, you can feel its hardness press against your lower stomach and he feels big.

"You ready, baby?" He raises his brow at you as he grips his member and teases it through your folds.

"Yes, please Negan," you pant, even after having the best orgasm of your life, you still need more. "Need you inside me."

He groans as he slips inside of you and the way you practically beg for him drives him crazy.

"So fucking tight, holy shit," he mumbles into your ear, his head dropping down to bite and suck on the crook of your neck. "Oh, baby, fuck."

Hearing him say such obscene things affects you in an indescribable way. His voice has always been massively attractive to you, but now...you're done for. The deep rumble, smooth like honey, even lower in an attempt to remain quiet to your family in the surrounding bedrooms. It's like dark magic. It has you hooked. He could say the right thing to you with that voice and you'd cum right there and then.

His movements are slow, savoring the sensation of you around him. He wants to take his time with you. He never wants it to be over.

Instinctively, you wrap your legs around his back and lift your hips up wanting more from you. He maintains his pace, but does start pushing deeper inside you like you wanted.

"I've wanted you for so long," you say, not even in control of your words anymore. It's like he's fucking them right out of you. He moans into your neck at your admission and starts thrusting a little faster, as if in response to your statement.

"Do you know-" he stops speaking for a moment to breathe and compose himself, clearly enjoying this as much as you, "how often I get myself off thinking about you?" He punctuates his point with a particularly hard thrust and that - in combination with the idea of him masturbating to the thought of you - causes you to cry out. You thought he would shush you, but he seems too far gone at this point.

"A fucking pretty little thing like you," he says, his hands groping at your tits, his touch rougher than before, "it'd be hard not to."

"Oh god," you whimper. "Harder, please."

His movements get harsher gradually, following your command and getting you closer and closer every second.

He lifts his head up and the way he looks at you makes your insides collapse. To be the sole object of his attention. How he looks at you like you're all that ever mattered.

"I'm so close, Negan," you tell him.

"Taking me so fucking well, darling," he praises, reaching one hand down to lazily play with your clit. That's all it takes and he can feel it coming as you begin to squeeze around him. He takes your lips in a long, sensual kiss as you climax, trying to muffle your moans as he fucks you through your orgasm. Your hands are wrapped around his back, squeezing into his shoulders as you try your hardest to be quiet. Pure pleasure surges through your veins as he presses his entire body weight into you: suffocating in the most beautiful way possible.

Gradually, Negan's movements come to a halt and he stops moving inside you briefly, letting go of you come down from your high.

"You're gonna be the fucking death of me," he declares and before you can reply, he suddenly starts moving inside you again, faster than the last time, placing a quick peck on the tip of your nose as he does so.

He soon reaches a pace much faster than before and you're rendered speechless.

Your attention is grabbed, however, by the open and shut of a door somewhere. You gasp and your eyes widen at the sound. The possibilities of who it could be and if they'd heard you start to race through your mind but your thoughts are cut off when Negan clasps a hand firmly over your mouth to keep you quiet. He presses you further into the mattress as he fucks you even harder than before, enjoying tormenting you.

You listen closely to the footsteps. They're quite loud - that of a man - probably your dad or uncle. The pitter patter grows closer and your heard races, both from the fear of getting caught and from the sensation of Negan deep inside you. Hitting places you're sure no other man ever has or ever could. You relax a little as you hear the footsteps pass Negan's bedroom and head into the shared bathroom, the door closing afterwards.

Negan takes his hand off your mouth and you gasp for air.

"Oh my god, please don't stop," you beg as he sets a pace and sticks with it, snaking his slender fingers back down to your clit and circling it gently.

"I don't plan on," he chimes. "You're taking me so well."

You've never felt anything like this. Your entire body is numb and slick with sweat. All you can do is grab onto his hair and try your best to lift your hips to meet his thrusts.

To help you out, he grabs your body and switches positions slightly. He lifts himself up then clutches your thighs, lifting them onto his shoulders. Then his hands grip onto your hips and he has access to you in a way that allows him to go much deeper. You know you can't take much more. You're close to crying just from how much you want to scream his name.

Your eyes keep fluttering shut but you force them opening, wanting to keep them on the man doing this to you. His tousled hair, his flexed biceps, his tattooed chest.

"Harder, please," you whisper. "I'm nearly there."

Thrusting harder, he also adds his fingers back to your clit, rubbing harshly. It's almost painful on your sensitive nerves but it feels unreal and it's enough to build you up to near-ecstasy.

Your mouth hangs open but you refrain from making any noise. In one unexpected motion, he lands a slap to your clit and it sends your orgasm rushing.

"Good girl, that's it," he guides you through as your body starts to spasm.

He continually pounds into you and turns his head to the side to place soft kisses to your inner thigh, contrasting the way he now ruthlessly moves inside of you.

You contract around him as you cum and you can tell he is trying his hardest to hold on as he visibly hesitates, not knowing where to release.

"Cum inside me, Negan," you give permission. "Want it so bad."

Those words were all he needed as he spills inside you, the warm liquid filling you.

Gradually, his movements slow down as he fucks you through the both of your orgasms, fucking his cum deeper inside you, and then pulls out and collapses next to you.

You rest your head on his shoulder and to your surprise, he pulls you closer to him, placing a kiss to your forehead.

"Holy shit," you giggle, the whole situation setting in.

Negan's about to speak but his sentence stops forming when the bathroom door opens and closes again. You'd completely forgot about that.

The two of you exchange a glance as you wait for the footsteps to disappear down the hallway. Once they're gone, you relax back into his embrace.

Absentmindedly, you place your hand on Negan's warm chest, tracing the ink of his tattoos. Its surprisingly comforting having him this close, to be held by him. You're entranced by the smell of his cologne and the way his chest heaves up and down, catching his breath. He smiles as he watches you, equally as entranced by you. He can't quite believe that the daydreams he thought were exactly that - daydreams - have come to life.

"We'll have to do this again," he grins coyly, "some place where you can scream my name as loud as you need to." His hands run over your body, cupping your breasts as if to appreciate as much of you as possible.

"I'd like that," you smile back, snuggling into his arms. You know you can't stay here all night, but you'll appreciate it for as long as possible.

#negan fic #negan x reader #negan twd #negan smut #negan smith #the walking dead fanfiction #jeffrey dean morgan smut #jeffrey dean morgan #negan smith smut

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satorudoll · 11 months

Text

☆ HE'S MINE ALL MINE —

#part 2!

: ̗̀➛┊! please read pt.1 before starting this, or it will seem like a block of nonsense !┊

☆ nerd + secret boyfriend!gojo x popular!fem reader

content: MDNI! explicit content, vaginal penetration, unprotected sex, cunnilingus

word count : 7.5k

You stare at your reflection in the dressing table mirror, messed mascara that had run down and dried on your once pink cheeks, your eyes blank and shoulders slumped as you sat still on your vanity table as deftones continued to beat through your speaker,

but your ears were too numb to comprehend any passing sound right now.

"Are you seriously planning to not move from there!" Your elder sister barges into your room with annoyance, finding you sitting in your lacy tank top and grey shorts, face a mess, and your hair looking like you needed a seriously long shower.

"oh god you haven't done shit from the past two days- And- What on earth have you done to your room?!" She look arounds the small room made of pastel pink walls that had light scent of peony lingering over them, random black and white posters of artists and bands glued on those walls and your mess of a bed in middle of it all that had all your plushies and comic books lying around, leaving barely any space for a human body to rest, the lace curtains pulled over to block any ray of sunlight that could ruin your mood any further.

Your sister yelps while trying to make her way towards you as she almost trips over an empty can of coke that your forgot to dispose.

She manages to make it to you and stands besides your sitting figure before resting her hands on her hips and staring at you through your reflection as well.

"are you taking drugs?" she murmured.

"No!" that causes you to immediately snap your head towards her with big eyes.

She cocks a brow at you,

"Geez chill, clean you damn room up and come down to eat!"

She turns away and starts making her way back, pausing and picking up the pile of your bras from the floor, shaking her head and throwing them up your already messy bed before leaving your room.

"fuck.." you whine as you scratch your head and finally standing up from there, but you just end up pulling your phone from the nightstand and jumping to lay on your bed not caring about the kuromi plushies that were being squished under your weight.

Your mind takes you back to the evening from two days ago.

You walked up to Gojo and Utahime, interrupting whatever convo they were having.

You quietly walk up to them and Gojo notices you first while Utahime was telling him something,

Utahime turns her head noticing your presence,

then she turns to look back up at Gojo,

She raises a brow looking between you both

"Y/n? something wrong?" She asks,

She didn't think you were here for Gojo, She knew who you were though, the whole school knew the party animal ofc. But she had no idea you would have anything to do with the class nerd.

You quietly stare back at her,

what are you supposed to say? Should you just say you were here for your boyfriend? But what if Gojo gets annoyed because he was meaning to end it with you?

As hundreds of answers ran through your head and your mind was trying to choose the best answer, Satoru spoke up instead.

"She needs to borrow some of my extra notes. Exams are coming so its going to be necessary." Satoru speaks up, Utahime makes a face and looks at you,

"Ask me next time instead, I make better notes than him," She assured you causing Satoru to knit his brows at her

"Leave already" He says making her shrug and walk away.

She walks past you, leaving the both of you alone in the silent halls as the sounds of her footsteps fades farther away and the palms of your hand grow clammy again.

"You alright?"

Your head snaps up when Satoru's calm voice reaches your eardrums. The voice that has grown so much on you.

You turn towards him and fold your arms, looking down at your pumps as you mutter,

"where were you? you missed the class.."

He notices you looking agitated and responds in an assuring tone,

"I was assigned some work so it too way longer than i thought. Its fine there wasnt any issue"

Something about that annoys you,

maybe because you spent the entire 45 minutes fighting your the anxiety in your head, thinking that he was gonna break it off with you.

"Well you need the notes, i-" You shove your hand in your bag to pull out the notes you wrote, but he speaks up,

"Oh, don't worry about that. Utahime showed me the ones she wrote, i took the pics."

That makes you come to a full stop, as your brows knit together,

Your face snaps up at him,

He was staring back at you looking confused after noting the annoyed expression you had on.

"Don't worry i'll send them to you too along with the previous-"

You cut him off with a loud,

"Oh fuck this! i don't need any notes, fuck this shit!" You turn on your heels and stormed off.

This time Satoru definitely got the hint that something was wrong.

"Y/n!" He calls out for you with a growing frown and an even deeper growing confused expression on his face as he starts walking fast to catch up with you,

He didn't have any problem catching up with you thanks to his long legs.

He grabs you by the arms from behind and forces you to stop.

You tried pushing him, so he ended up pushing you instead against the wall, caging you between his arms

"Ugh, let me go!" You yelp, you wanted to bite your tongue down, you were feeling like your emotions were all over the place and you wanted to run away as far as possible before you mutter something wrong in this state that you might regret later.

"Calm down." Satoru gently voices while you try to wiggle out of his arms looking like a restless mad child.

"Y/n, calm down." He says again but in a much harsher tone causing you to finally stop at this point.

But you still didn't wanna look up at him.

He doesn't forces you to look up either, instead,

"Tell me, what's wrong?" he softly asks making you wanna further beat yourself for being the dramatic person that you are.

"I wanna go home." was your answer.

He blinks a couple of times,

"are you not well?" He asks, earning a shake of your head.

He finally sighs,

"Do you not feel comfortable telling me? We can go to the pharmacy and get you something if you aren't well right now. You should get something before it gets worst."

Your eyes get glossy by every passing second of you staring at the floor,

maybe it was a small thing, maybe whatever Satoru does for you is no big deal to some, maybe it is the bare minimum.

But you were someone who have never been lucky enough to get even that. So maybe that's why whatever Satoru did for you felt like a big deal.

And once again your head was filled with the big question mark of,

'What am i gonna do if he leaves me?'

Before Satoru could pull you out of your thoughts you finally shove his chest,

"I'm annoyed!" You were finally staring right at him,

His puzzled look was trying so hard to study you,

"Then tell me what's annoying you Y/N!" He finally was growing annoyed but still trying to keep his composure for you.

"You barely look at me when we are at school! You don't even try to lift your head from those damn books of yours to turn around and look at me! I feel like a fucking wall! I can chatter like a parrot all day as we sit and I barely manage to get a word or two out from you! It doesn't feel good Satoru!" You rant, a tear finally slipping out of your eyes.

Satoru watches with wide eyes and knitted brow but tries to move his hand up to wipe your cheek when he sees your tear run down,

"Don't touch me right now!" You yell and push his hand away,

He sighs and looks down for a second before lifting his head back up,

"Why are you suddenly so mad.. I told you, we have plenty of time to talk outside school-"

"Why??" you cut him off, your brows knitting as you bring your face closer to him.

"Are you embarrassed of being seen with me here !?" You finally speak out.

"What?? Of cour-"

You cut him off yet again,

"Hell, we don't even talk that much outside school either.. We don't do shit aside from fuck every now and than and stroll somewhere nearby when you feel like it."

You felt like the stop button of your mouth broke for good because at this point you were letting out everything that's coming in your mind straight out of your mouth

"Am I here to blow your steam?? Couldn't you find a nicer cunt than mine therefore you agreed to my childish proposal of going out so you couldn't give a fuck more than that because I'm just a dog barking as usual and following you around !? Can you try to make some sacrifices! Just tell me you don't want me around if I'm that annoying stop walking and treating me like a dog! Stop being so high on your pedestal, you might think so but I really am not a slut throwing myself at every moving body!"

You are breathing heavily,

He is watching,

Your eyes burning and legs growing colder every passing second, head filled with screams of regrets and embarrassment. You surely didn't mean to deliver the message that way, Sure you had a lot of problems to discuss with him but conveying your message this was was not on the plan.

Your vision gets blurry as you notice how his crystal eyes were surprisingly turning a darker hue of blue. Almost as if he looked thrown away, and so..

hurt.

oh god, you hurt him.

You both didn't move for a good minute or two.

Just staring at eachothers eyes,

one pair that was glossy while the other getting gloomier.

You still couldnt make up what was actually going in his genius brain but then he breaks the eye contact, pulling his backpack up on his shoulders he turns away from you and starts walking away without a word.

The way he walked away from anyone else.

You stand there frozen, not really thinking he would just blatantly walk away. He never walked away from you. Even when you first started sitting with him and being annoying.

Your stomach churned and heart throbbed in pain, you rather him cuss you out for being such a petty brat than not even bother saying a word to you.

Praying in your head he stop and turns back to take you with him,

Your eyes stayed glue at the hallway wall as you heard his footsteps eventually just fade away.

back to the present day,

you stared at your phone screen.

Staring at Satoru's name on the contact list, which was all the way down the bottom now being supported by no new notifications, your and his chatroom was shoved down by all the other random people who texted you.

He hasn't texted you anything for two days,

You were too afraid to even press his name on the contact list.

The silence he replied to you with from two days ago before the weekends started still booming and clawing at the walls of your head.

As you kept your eyes glued on Satoru and your messages a notification pops up.

Shoko:

"haven't seen you all weekend, just checking up on you"

You tiredly reply a "im good"

your message is instantly read and answered,

Shoko:

"its been so long y/n, the whole party misses you! I wont force you to go but there is a party at Geto's tonight"

You scrunch your nose remembering the pool party Choso was mentioning to you about in the hallways.

As soon as you were about to send a 'no',

you pause.

You'd be lying if you said that you didn't desperately needed to get your mind out off all the mess.

maybe you forgot the party animal you used to be when you got with Satoru. Maybe if you feel the thrill of it all over again you would realise how wrong you were, that Satoru really wasn't as addictive as you were thinking him to be.

and so,

you ended up agreeing to Shoko, making a mental note that you were heading there to prepare yourself for any sort of confrontation that Satoru and you might have in school tomorrow.

you were shaking your feet as you stared at the clock slowly striking 8:15,

sitting on your living room sofa ready in your lacy black mini dress and pink high platform heels. Hair done and spraying the most expensive perfume you could find in your closet. Just because you didn't attend a party in weeks doesn't mean you were gonna let go all your efforts of looking good.

But you were supposed to leave like fifteen minutes ago.

so why weren't you able to move?

Is it because its been so long?

"you haven't left yet?" your head turns to look at the raven haired woman in her pj shorts and random oversized shirt who was striding around the kitchen looking for something.

You shake your head noticing the notification from Shoko who was asking if you were going to be late.

"Is something going on?" You hear your sister's voice who stopped doing whatever she was doing and was standing next to you now.

"no.. im just.. second guessing"

you shrug

she furrows her brows, "you are really changing, that's a new. I haven't seen you be this way since ever."

you let her words sink in, and mutter,

"is that bad..?"

She nonchalantly shakes her head,

"i dont think so, you are about to go out and actually live a life in just few months anyways. you wont be in school anymore, me and mom wont be here 24/7 for you. i think its really good, like cmon, ive never seen you working on a fucking school assignment till 4am until a week ago. That's the time when you are out partying ignoring my calls of worries."

You remember the day she was talking about, your assignment was due that very day and Satoru didn't mind when you called him at 10 pm and he had to stay up all night that day to help you complete the assignment. You remember how tired his eyes looked the very next day, but he never complained. He said nothing even if it was your fault for keeping the work until last second.

You even got an A for that assignment, you've never gotten an A.

You were so excitedly tapping your foot on the floor that day when you received the grades, and it took everything in you to not hug Satoru in front of everyone right than and there. Satoru noticed that and let a small smile unconsciously slip past his lips as he continued taking his notes.

You remember screeching when the school got over and jumping on your boyfriend in the empty classroom,

and he held you without a word, he just smiled as he held you and you talked on and on about how happy you were.

and he just listened.

Your heart dully throbbing in pain when you recall the memories now,

You weren't mad at Satoru because he was a bad person,

but because being with him made you feel like a bad person.

You didn't want to accept that you might not deserve him and that somebody way better than you was out there for him.

You felt like it was better for you to just break up at this point than being together and hurting him from such a close distance.

"is it because of that boyfriend of yours?" your sister finally decides to bring it up

That causes your head to snap at her with big eyes

"what do you mean?"

"You didn't think nobody was going to notice that a random dude whose odd hair you can spot from miles away was dropping you everyday, did you?" she points,

"you are so stereotypical, cant normal friends walk eachother home??" you try to cover your secret anyway as you could,

"you both were literally making out for 10 minutes outside the entrance." She immidiately counter attacks on you.

That makes you shut up instantly.

"i never saw a guy drop you home, otherwise i wouldn't have even brought it up"

You sigh and bury your face in your hands. Your sister notices that and laughs,

"never thought you would be beating yourself over a nerdy guy like that out of all the guys I've seen you with."

you admit, "I didn't either."

"maybe that's good, you just have to try something different if the old ones don't work out. You have to step out from your comfort zone to find the things meant for you."

you wish it was that easy for you both who were in the opposite sides of the poles from each other to actually work out.

She walks away back to the kitchen but not before saying,

"and don't even think of staying back tonight, I'm kicking you out, my boyfriend will be here any minute and we agreed to let me have the house to myself."

and that's how you found yourself standing in front of another one of those big villas, you can hear the booming music and screams from where you stood.

Heaving a big sigh of frustration you twist and crack your hands and neck ready to not go back home anytime soon.

Trying to hold your big smile up you storm into the party, letting your hair flow through the cold winds of the night, not minding that you were wearing a sleeveless dress right now since you'd be covered in sweat from being in the middle of the roaring crowd in no time anyways.

You turn your head around every now and than to greet and wave back to the people who noticed and called for you,

some random people who you don't even remember running up to you and wrapping their arms around your shoulders.

The past you wouldn't have minded it and would've went along with the flow, but you wanted to shove the people aside right now.

However you refrain yourself from doing so, you didn't want to be a "bummer" like those people whom you used to refer to as 'party poppers' in the past.

You laugh along, acting fine and letting those people chattering around you guide you inside the house.

The surroundings around you slowly fades away to darkness, people's presence being illuminated by the several bright colors of spotlight that maniacally ran across the room. Your heartbeat growing louder from how hard the music was was beating through the air.

The huge villa was covered in tall white walls and windows, pine trees scattered around the big garden where you could see the big pool filled with floats of every shape glowing. You swore you saw a float shaped like a dick.

"Y/nnn, thank gawdd!" You see Shoko approach you in her bright red mini leather dress and high knee boots

"I thought you were gonna ditch me againnn" she whines, her eyes in the brink of shutting, You could smell the strong scent of alcohol everytime she tried muttering another word to you. You just arrived here and she was already out of it.

You decided that you were gonna let yourself loose and have so much fun tonight as well.

You weren't having an ounce of fun, the only thing you laughed at ever since you came here was when Shoko told you that she was so out of it that she thought Geto was her pet Doberman and tried kissing him as he started screaming and tried shaking her awake but she ended up throwing up all over him so he had left to change,

so now here she was, with you, trying to make you seem like a busy person in the party.

You were turning down anybody who came up to you and tried dragging you onto the dance floor, instead of loosing yourself tonight the music irritated your veins.

Shoko continued to slur some more of her 'fun' encounters that she had in the party during your absence while you nodded and your eyes continued lingering around the other moving bodies.

But your eyes suddenly halted its movements when you noticed the soothing color of night snow in midst of the crowd.

Your eyes got bigger,

the tall figure had his back faced, talking to some other people that you couldn't make out who due to how dark that side of the room was.

There was no way he was here.

How the fuck would he be here, he literally turned down all the parties you invited him to up until now and you always ended up ditching them along with him.

Why the hell would he suddenly be in one.

You were forcing yourself to look away when you noticed that the figure was about to turn around,

but its like someone had locked your gaze towards that direction, you weren't able to look away.

He turns around completely,

and your eyes caught his,

suddenly the loud booming of the music became dull in your ears and your vision became a bit more clearer, because you have no idea if you were biased, but he was standing out amongst the whole sea of people who filled this big space.

It was prolly the snowy white locks of his hair,

or his crystal blue eyes,

or the fact that he wasn't dressed anything like the Satoru you've been seeing this whole time.

Your boyfriend who was standing and staring back at you from the other end of the room wore a pair of loose black jeans, matched with a big leather jacket (you couldn't make out if the jacket was big or his frame was actually that buff, you would have no problem believing the later one), both the black fits contrasted by the oversized white jacket he wore underneath, and a small silver chain trailed around his neck.

He looked nothing like the nerd you saw everyday in school, or the guy in random sweats outside school, he looked more like the guy he showed you when you both were alone.

his white hair a bit parted and his glasses missing.

Any other day you would have stormed up to him to hide him because it felt illegal for him to be standing out in front of the whole world looking that fucking good.

But tonight your brows twitched, you grew annoyed at how you couldn't even walk up to him because what if he walked away from you like the other day, but this time in front of the whole crowd?? you were so fucking sure people will start chattering and you will be nothing but a an awkward figure of embarrassment.

You couldn't read his eyes, you never could.

That was just another reason that annoyed you,

what you did notice though was that he looked surprised to see you here, but definitely not as much as you were to see him.

You just forced your gaze to rip away from him and turn to face Shoko who was laughing at god knows what, she didn't even notice that you were focused on something other than her adventurous encounters. But you rather hear those than go near Satoru right now.

You grew way more awkward than when you came here since you knew now Satoru was here as well, you tried so hard to focus on Shoko's words but your heart wasn't letting you focus on any other presence in the room. It felt like you and Satoru were the only ones alone in this big room, no matter how loud it got.

You curse before turning your head to look at your side and quickly grabbing the cup of beer that was lying there since forever.

You chugged it down feeling the burning liquid prickle your throat but it was nothing compared to how much your chest was burning, tossing away the now empty cup you grab Shoko by the hand, and drag her away with you to leave the room because you doubt you will be able to otherwise focus on anything else other than the lingering gaze that was looming over you from across the room.

You took her all the way to the garden trying to not trip, you regretted wearing such high platform heels, they were way taller than what you would usually wear, but you just really didn't want them to be collecting dust. You gave up and wore them at the end with the mindset that if your ankles broke tonight then it was karma coming at you for being such an ass to your boyfriend, all the logical thinking had left your body in the last two days.

"What if i throw uph in the poolll" Shoko slurs as you shove her to lay down on the lawn chairs while you make your way to the pool,

"You aren't going to the pool, I am. And what you need, is sleep." You start unzipping your dress, stripping into your baby pink bikini.

You felt stares fall upon your figure but you didn't care since you weren't the only ones in so less clothing, literally half of the crowd here were in the verge of being fully naked.

Shoko whined but she shut up as soon as she started because her eyes gave out on her and now she had left to the wild dreamlands of her fever dreams.

you slowly stepped down the pool starring down at how it made your body glow.

You slowly swam around, at one point wondering if you should just drown here.

Shaking the thought away not wanting a whole case on Geto's hand you rose back up.

Taking a deep breathe as your pushed the wet locks of your hair back you didn't notice a figure approach you from the back.

You flinch and immediately turn to shove the person who suddenly wrapped their arms around your bare waist.

It was your last ex, of course.

The one who cheated on you, but you really didn't felt like crying that day because your short lived romance was anyways in the brink of fading into dust. But that didn't make him seem like a less of a jerk to you though.

You spent your good 10 minutes cussing him out and outing most of his dirty laundry in middle of the whole crowd of people watching your breakup unfold, just because you wanted to pull something funny and felt like he deserved it.

"I haven't seen you around in weeks" He speaks casually, leaning back against the half wall and slowly turning his gaze looking around for something interesting.

"you still stink, Naoya." You blatantly reply, shoving his hand away from your waist and folding your arms to leans your back on the half wall as well.

"glad to know your foul mouth is still healthy as ever" he laughs.

"shut up whore." you pass him a disgusted look, "what are you even doing here? no bitches willing to hold your dick?"

he sighs,

"saw none better than you here."

That makes you roll your eyes hard,

"I'm the dumbfck here trying to talk you here, bye" you try getting out of the pool but he immediately pulls you back by waist,

"you fuc-"

he cuts you off pulling you closer to him, your boobs pressed against his chest as his face is so fucking close to yours.

"you play so fucking hard doll, you've always been that way. why? is it fun to watch me yearn and long for you?" he whispers making your knit your brows farther wondering if he was drunk too.

"i bet you haven't found a dick big enough yet that can fit in every corner of your-"

you punch his nose,

nobody notices though since the party was that loud except two or three people who were closer to you, passing by the pool but they didn't seem to care, knowing that was just you being you,

"OW! the fuck!?" he immediately yelps shoving you away,

"you fucking bet i did whore, and if you want ill find some for you to ride as well!" You harshly splash the water at his face when he was just about to retract his palms back from his face earning another yelp from him.

You push yourself up from the pool, head feeling hotter than ever as you storm away to get your dress. you didn't even bother drying yourself, you just put your thin dress back on not giving a fuck about the way you just made the dry fabric completely drenched in a second as soon as it came in contact with the wet one.

You look down to take Shoko with you, but pause looking at her peacefully snoring state,

Shaking your head you walk back into the villa by yourself, unbothered about the trail of water you were leaving behind, but most of the people around you were doing the same. You feel horrible for whoever was cleaning this place up later.

As you mindlessly walked around pushing past people you felt your nose starting to burn, eyes becoming glossier.

You felt like a fucking mess.

So you pause, you don't take any steps further,

even if you were about to burst into tears right this instant here, nobody in this room would notice you.

Just as you were about to let a sob slip you feel someone trace your arm,

Your head snaps back to look at the tall brunette guy,

his doe eyes looks at you as he held a sweet smile on his face,

he didn't seem like a bad person, i mean you wouldn't know,

but he just gave off a good person vibe,

he looked drunk as well though.

But he didn't try groping you.

So you just stared at him, he was so out of it but he was waiting for you to join him and dance.

And you let every weight on your mind and shoulder fall down.

you were so tired.

You turn around fully to face him.

stepping closer to him he takes the hint and lets his hand fall down your hip, feeling the wet fabric under his palms he drunkenly blurts

"..is it raining here?" he questions innocently craning his head up to look at the ceiling.

That makes you laugh.

This one heartier than when you laughed at Shoko's story.

You keep your hands on his shoulders planning to start dancing,

but suddenly someone pulls one of your hand away from his shoulder.

Your nostrils filled with the familiar minty scent, you froze.

not wanting to look up, although the brunette guy was already staring at the person next to you both with a clueless expression.

"..am-am i interrupting something?" the brunette guy hiccups like a dumbhead when it was the other way around.

You couldn't even open your mouth, your lips suddenly felt so heavy and you still weren't turning your head to look at your side.

Your left hand still in his big warm ones.

"Y/n.." Satoru finally lets out in his low toned voice.

You didn't know if it was his presence or the insanely wet fabric on your skin that was making you slowly feel feverish

"Y/n.. please.. look at me.." He softly pleads,

something in his tone this time breaks your heart, crumbling ever so slowly you finally look up at him.

Satoru wasn't going to force you to go with him,

he wasn't going to force you to come with him if you didn't want to.

He instead kept all his faith on you, for you to choose him.

You stared at his face that looked a bit tired, his brows arched down as his eyes looked dull blue tonight, just like the other day.

Satoru looked sad,

You couldn't push him any further, it was painful,

you let go your other hand that was resting on the brunette's shoulder and he looked like he was conscious enough to let your hips go as well.

Satoru didn't seem to care how sweaty your hand was as he held them tight and turned around as soon as you let the brunette go like he was praying you chose him and didn't turn his time, taking long strides in his black converse he walks away, taking you with him,

he was holding tightly onto your hand, like you would leave as soon as he let it a bit loose, nobody noticed your small frame walking behind his big one that covered you up entirely.

You felt small once again.

You didn't notice that all the loud voices suddenly grew quite,

You hear the sound of door shut, and finally look around finding yourself in a big bedroom,

The room was spacious and interior clean, wood paneled walls decorated the four sides, only two long golden lights hanging from the ceiling leaving the room to look a bit dim, tall windows hidden behind the long beige curtains that were drawn over them, and a big canopy bed in middle of the bedroom.

Your head noted that it must be one of the spare rooms in here.

You felt a bit better as the light scent of vanilla and cashmere started to linger around you instead of all the sweat and mixed perfume of everyone in the crowd.

What you didn't like was however the silence that was eating you up now.

Satoru was still holding onto your hand.

You look up at him this time, and he turns his body towards you as well, not letting your hand go,

He notices you drenched from head to toe,

he didn't notice it before since it was way too dark in the room and he was too busy rushing to get you two out of there.

"Did someone push you in the pool??" He questions, worry laced in his tone,

you shake your head

"no, i was taking a swim.."

That makes his eyebrows knit further,

he sighs and pulls you to the bed,

making you sit down he finally lets go off your hand, walking away into the bathroom he comes back in seconds with a towel in his hand.

Satoru walks back up to you and gets on his knees in front of you, he wraps the towel over your head and starts rubbing the soft fabric against the locks of your wet hair.

you quietly look down at your lap, playing with your fingers.

He gently starts to dry you face and neck,

"Wait my makeup-"

"you can worry about that later" he heaves.

the more he dried your skin the more wet your eyes grew,

you felt your bottom lips quiver and you finally let out a weak,

"why are you going out with me?"

Satoru stops drying your skin and his gaze moves up to your face,

"you've grown on me y/n.." he says in a gentle tone as his hand moves up to caress your warm cheek.

"don't you wanna be with me anymore?" he questions,

patiently waiting for you to answer,

"i-" you start tearing up

"i wanna be with you so much, i wanna be by your side all time, I don't mind if I look like a dog running behind you, but you feel too good for me" you sob and he doesn't interrupt you, instead he continues to caress your cheek with his thumb, listening to your every word,

"I feel like if you actually decide to step out into the world you will notice people who are way better than me," you hiccup embarrassed at all the things you were confessing but he just quietly wipes your tears.

"you can do so much more than me- and a year ago I would have never guessed that ill be running my mouth like a parrot right now sobbing for you but who am I to know! I'm just an idiot who doesn't even have control over herself, I'm just insecure and scared that the world will realize how nice of guy you are, how kind your heart is and then they'll try to take you away, I even wrote down notes for you that day when you missed the class, and it is the most detailed notes I have ever made but its still no- "

"you made notes for me??" he finally cuts you off,

his curious eyes staring at you as you stop flinging your arms around from all the explanation and let out a small

"yes.."

He watches you finally go quite and he proceeds to cup your face, caressing your warm face as your nervous heart starts to slowly melt away when you see him softly smiling back at you.

"why would I have to go around caring to look for someone better if you are becoming better for me baby?"

that makes you slowly tear up again, you swore another thing Satoru has turned you into is a little crybaby.

This man just had that grip over you.

He engulfs you in his warm arms as you say

"sorry.. I really didn't mean any words that I said that day.. you looked so hurt.. I couldn't bring myself to face you.." you cry and his warm hug grows tighter as he rubs your head to calm you down,

"I'm sorry too.. shouldn't have left you there and walked away either" he says.

"i love you" you slip out,

that makes him pause,

he pulls his head back and looks at your eyes,

and questions,

"what?"

Your cheeks grow warm as you mumble,

"ugh I'm not saying it again, you heard me !"

you burry your head in his neck embarrassed.

"I didn't even hear you because of all the snot in your nose!" he defends.

"shut up, liar!" you smack his chest.

he heartily laughs before slowly smashing his lips against yours,

you immediately welcome him in your warm arms,

the rough texture of his lips softly crushing against your delicate ones.

his wet tongue slowly grazing against your warm ones,

Satoru swiftly pushes you up the soft bed and breaks the kiss, trailing his tongue down your chin, licking all the way to the side of your neck, slowly sinking his teeth into your warm skin making your moan and wrap your legs around him, pulling him closer,

running one of his hand down to your thigh, he gropes it before running them back all way up,

going further and further up under the wet fabric that was clinging onto your warm skin,

he pulls his face away slamming his lips on yours again after leaving a soft imprint of blur and purple on your neck, giving you a hard long peck before pulling away and taking his leather jacket off, pulling his white shirt over his head that causes his white locks to tousle before falling back to cover parts of his hooded eyes,

he grins down at you and whispers

"Why don't you start marking me up? so that whoever tries to take me away from you will know they can never be better than you?"

Your cheeks grow warm at that as he takes your hands and makes them rest on his firm chest

"c'mon baby, I want you to mark every inch of my skin.. wont you?" He smiles as you nod your head and trail your fingers over his soft pale skin,

But growing impatient he take a lock of your hair in his hand and shoves your face against his skin,

and you obediently lap it, before widening your mouth and sinking your teeth into his skin starting to suck on it

"suck it harder baby, take a mouthful of that skin" how else will they know I'm yours otherwise?"

You eagerly do as he tells you to, sucking a mouthful of his skin, leaving bitten bruises of blue and purple splattered across his pale chest as he watches your with a proud expression,

finally getting enough of it he flips your body, pushing the front of your body against the soft sheets he looks down at your figure with his hooded eyes,

releasing soft breathy pants through his parted lips as he pulls your thighs up so your back arches and your big plump ass was in his clear view,

he looked drunk,

but he swore he didn't have even an ounce of liquid ever since he entered the villa.

well of course you had to make up for how thirsty he was though,

He knit his brows, he felt hornier than usual he had to admit,

was two days of not having his face buried between your boobs and having you whining against his lap when you both were alone making him this desperate?

He could feel his thick cock grow painfully angry every second inside his boxers. The tight waist of his jeans bringing not even a little comfort.

"toru.." you whine, pushing your ass further back, bringing it closer to his face,

he grunts,

"yes baby.." he starts to quickly unbutton and pull the zip of his pants down. Shoving his hand in his boxers as he stares at the thin wet fabric of your bikini cover your ass,

he pulls his dick out, sighing as soon as some feeling of relief washes through his veins.

And quickly he pushes your thighs together, pulling down the bottoms of your bikini revealing your wet ass cheeks that had slick run down from your gaping and pulsing cunt.

He pushes his face in your ass, kissing and making out with your drooling hole before he plunges his tongue in, caressing the gummy walls of your insides as your cry loud and feel literal tremors run down your hips from the way he was easing the bundle of your nerves, pushing his hand up to messily rub and pinch your clit, holding the hard shell of your core in his palm as he massages it. Eyes sealed from feeling pure bliss, his nose buried against your puffy cheeks intoxicated by the strong smell of your inside,

his burning cock so fucking hard as it pulsated and released precum every passing second, he wanted you to stop him and grab his cock, for you to tell him to shut the fuck up and take his cock in your hand and shove it in your tight cunt.

But at the same time he wanted you to stay patient and let his hungry self eat,

No alcohol induced body in the room could compare to how pussydrunk your boyfriend was right now.

"Toru- Fuck! need your cock! please.." you whine trying to pull your ass away which was so tightly in the hold of his big palms,

He sucks hard, feeling the warm liquid of your insides gush down his tongue everytime he tried moving it deeper in your depths.

You felt your walls painfully tighten as you tried pushing him away but he just slaps your hand and buries his face harder,

"you love me baby?" he grunts as he slowly lets go your thighs finally and takes his hot sticky length in his palm

"love you toru.. so much" you mewl,

you get pushed up as he plunges his heavy girthy length into your warmth, immediately burying his face in your neck and hugging you tight from behind as he lets out a soft cry,

You could tell he was extra sensitive than usual today, you loved it so much,

you would like to believe it was the extra effect of you finally showing to him that your love for him was so important to you and how much you appreciated the way he took care of you,

His lips brushes up against the shell of your ear, biting it as you feel him grow thicker inside you, he held you so close, feeling his face grow warmer feeling the sensation of the way you both were connected down there. The skin of your bare asscheeks feeling the prickly trail of his snowy white hair down there

"I love you y/n" he cries as you feel his girth throb hard, your walls instantly clenching around him earning another moan from his throat.

you feel your cheeks grow warmer and the corner of your eyes start getting wet,

he brings his lips even closer to your ears and licks the lobe of your ear, trailing his right hand up and pulling your hands which was gripping the sheets so that he can intertwine his fingers with yours,

you cry as his other free hand goes down between your legs and roughly runs his fingers over your clit and through your folds.

Tears escape your eyes and Satoru kisses them clean,

"I love you baby, love you so much.. i-i only want you with me baby.. lets just love eachother.. hm?" he whispers, cradling you in his arms as he presses another kiss on your cheek, moving his head down and sucking the skin of your neck which was layered in thin sheet of sweat as he thrusts his hips hard, you both cry into eachothers warmth as you feel him start to penetrate your throbbing cunt balls deep, giving you strong yet long slow thrusts.

"love you toruu.." you moan and he kisses your lips, holding you so close to him,

"love you my baby... love you so much"

"ok soo.. i know i said they are the most detailed notes that I've ever made but I'm pretty sure I missed a couple of lines because I was too worried and zoning out every now and than thinking where you were yk."

He stares at you, raising a brow the more you spoke,

"so like we might still need the ones Utahime gave you." You smile at him innocently, tucking your chin on your hands, which were resting over his bare broad chest.

before he could respond the door flies open making you yelp and Satoru quickly wraps his arms around your frame to cover you up although thankfully you had already pulled the duvets up to your chest.

You and Satoru stare at the doorframe mortified,

another pair of mortified expressions looking back at you both,

Geto and Choso stood there with his jaw slacked open.

"The hell, did you not lock the door!?" you suddenly questioned Satoru who looks at you equally shocked.

"i did! You know I'm not that careless!"

before you could reply Geto spoke up

"Uh- I used my spare keys."

You and Satoru rolled eyes at that.

Choso screams "You are sleeping with that nerd!? You don't even answer my texts!"

its been a few weeks since,

You found out you weren't the only popular kid close to Satoru, Geto and him were close too.

You had no idea how you managed to never know an info like that, when asked he said he didn't think of it as a necessary information.

and turns out Utahime and Gojo really weren't on that good terms,

Utahime was whispering string of unimaginable profanities at him that day while Satoru was mockingly laughing at her and pissing her off even further.

You really are bad at reading situations guess.

nothing much has really changed since,

except, after Choso and Geto promised you both to keep your secret safe somehow ever so mysteriously the rumors of you and Satoru dating started to spread.

And it got confirmed when you just decided to stand up from your seat during lunch one day and sit down on your boyfriend's thick thighs like it was your birthright, you couldn't help it. They looked so thick and seatable.

The entire class stopped doing whatever they were doing and the room erupted in buzzing murmurs,

Satoru paused chewing on his food, surprised at your sudden move,

but he didn't push you off or anything.

Instead he proceeded to wrap his arm around your waist to keep you steady and peck our cheek before calmly picking up his chopsticks back again and continuing to eat.

That made you dramatically squeal and kick your feet as you watched the shell of his ear turn a very light shade of pink.

What a cute nerdy boyfriend you've got yourself who treats you like his literal princess <3

☆ — REBLOGS ARE APPRECITED !

(my hand hurts)

taglist: @ritsatoru @waka-babe

#gojo smut #gojo x reader #jjk smut #jjk x reader #gojo satoru #gojo satoru smut #jjk #bookmark #gojo satoru x reader #gojo fic #nerd gojo #fluff #𝓵𝓸𝓿3𝓻𝓫𝓸𝓭𝔂꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱

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slytherinshua · 6 months

Text

CHERRY BOWS

genre. fluff. cheol as a dad. warnings. toddler/parent stuff. cheol gets jelly. pairing. husband!scoups x wife!reader. wc. 1k. request. request by @blue-jisungs: you asked for soft hours n i shall give!! it’s been in my mind for a hot while actually but i’m too busy rn to do it myself… and you’re the perfect person bc U MADE ME THINK IF TJAT 🫵🫵 jealous dad seungcheol :( ofc he loves u n ur kid but give him some attention too smh >:T and requested by anon: i love your svt as dads!! they’re all so cute and i’d like to request one for cheol! a/n. i love love love dad cheol omg :( my second dad fic for him hehe <3 hes so girl dad coded and SOOOOO ADORABLE SKDJKS I LOVE HIM!!!!

“You ate without me…?” Cheol’s sleepy mumble was the first thing you heard from him. He had tiredly trudged downstairs when he had woken up and you weren’t next to him in the bed. It was already a bad start to the day when that happened, and he was frowning and pouting and generally sulking about it by the time he found you.

He wrapped his arms around you from the back, trapping you in the middle of the living room so you couldn’t continue without giving him the attention he needed. You smiled at his clinginess and deep raspy morning voice, but scoffed at how baby-like he was in the morning. Sometimes he acted even more like a child than your actual child.

Eunha was your now 2 year old daughter. She was adored by everyone and constantly doted on. She could be a handful at times, but only because she had started to take after your bossiness and knew exactly how to appeal to Seungcheol. If she ever wanted something, all she had to do was look at them with those big boba eyes that she got from him, and he’d be folding.

He loved her more than anything. Probably even more than you, but you were okay with it. It warmed your heart how much he cared for his daughter. He’d die for her in a heartbeat without a second of hesitation. You were learning more and more every day the love a father could hold for his children. You had expected this attitude when you married him, of course. Because you knew him and you knew how caring he was. He was so filled with love for people and the world, and you were so lucky to have him.

Starting a family had always been a dream for both of you, and Eunha’s birth had been your biggest blessing. It was challenging to take care of a toddler, but you and Cheol always did your best.

Eunha was happily playing with her toy dolls after eating breakfast— the entire living room spread with her mess. It was always a constant of cleaning her toys in the evening just for her to make a new mess the next day, but you didn’t mind. It was worth it to see her so happy, and though it could be stressful to have a messy space sometimes, her happy giggles made up for it.

“Were you playing dolls with her without me as well?” Cheol asked, the pout he was wearing somehow finding its way into his tone. You giggled and he squeezed you tighter out of jealousy. He didn’t want to admit that he missed your attention being only on him, but it was true.

You were getting up earlier to feed Eunha and play with her in the morning. The sleepy morning cuddles that Cheol looked forward to every time he fell asleep next to you were becoming rarer and rarer and he felt bitter about the change. It just wasn’t the same with Eunha. It wasn’t worse, it was definitely better in most aspects, but the free time that he had enjoyed before was being sucked away by the little child.

“She wanted me to be the doctor.” You told him, explaining the dynamics of Eunha’s favourite game. She would be the mother to her little baby doll, and either Cheol or you would usually be the doctor.

“The bed was so cold without you…” He murmured, pushing his cheek against your neck. His skin was warm against yours and you leaned into him more, savouring the feeling.

“I’m sorry. You know that Eunha likes to get up early…” You whispered.

“She should’ve woken me up instead of you. Aren’t you tired?”

“A bit. Eating breakfast with her was nice, though. She insisted on having strawberries with her yogurt since she had seen me eat it like that once.” You smiled. Seungcheol pouted.

“I thought I was her favourite…” He was mostly joking, of course, but slightly hurt. He had always been susceptible to jealousy. Maybe he was a little too greedy— he loved watching you and Eunha spend time together, but he also hated being left out.

Your little moment of warm embrace was interrupted after 2 minutes, a giggly Eunha running up and clinging to her father’s leg. She babbled something about her doll and wanting to get ice cream later today, which you were sure Seungcheol would indulge her in. He spoiled her too much.

You were happy to see your husband’s pout lift up into the sweetest of grins. He picked up Eunha, holding her so that she was resting on his hip. He kept one arm around you; almost if you would run away and leave him if he didn’t. Which was probably partially true since you hadn’t cleaned up from breakfast yet.

“Give daddy a kiss?” Cheol asked Eunha, giggles ensuing amongst both of them. She leaned forward and kissed his cheek cutely and you smiled. Now that Seungcheol was awake as well, the two would be inseparable for the rest of the day— especially since Cheol didn’t have any work to get to.

The morning happily proceeded with a small second breakfast and playtime. Now that your husband was being included in every activity, he was all smiles and giggles. He liked being the centre of attention; you had discovered that fact throughout the years. He was the happiest man in the world when he knew he was making his daughter happy.

Her happiness always came first, even when it relied on Seungcheol’s hair being tied up in pigtails with little cherry-coloured bows because Eunha wanted to play hairdresser. You were almost envious of how cute he looked in them. It was impossible not to love everything that Cheol did.

Along with the bows came matching sweaters with a cherry pattern for father and daughter. One look at the two and you could easily declare them the two cutest human beings in the entire world.

↳ svt taglist: @kangtaehyunzzz,, @yeonjuns-redhair,, @ddeonudepressions,, @hannahsophie0103,, @skz-minchan-enthusiast,, @shuabby1994,, @icyminghao,, @98-0603,, @weird-bookworm,, @edensgardenn,, @wonwooz1,, @cyberpunksunwoo,, @cienlvrs,, @amara-mars

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midnightmoonkiss · 2 years

Text

Genshin Characters That Eat Pussy For Your Pleasure Vs Their Pleasure

//18+ MINORS DNI - AFAB! Reader

Uhmmm I just had some thoughts heheh.

Albedo, Ei, Ayato, Heizou, Kazuha, Diluc, Xiao, Venti, Childe

Genshin Characters That Eat Pussy For YOUR Pleasure:

Albedo -> I hope you don’t mind him experimenting with his tongue and various toys on you, scribbling down the results, sometimes doing so while suckling on your clit. He edges you until you cry, maybe if you beg he’ll stuff his fingers in your cunt and curl them until you squirt.

Ei -> She’s new to all this, a pussy virgin if you will. Guide her with your fingers in her hair and she’ll melt between your legs with each praise that slips past your lips. She might just feel the need to slip a hand between her thighs. Don’t be too surprised to feel an electric tingle between your slippery folds as she kitten-licks you to completion.

Ayato -> He’s a busy, busy man, so what better way to please his needy darling than to eat them out on his desk? His tongue easily bringing you to climax within minutes, gloved hands gripping your thighs and keeping you close to his face. Presses a sweet little kiss to your throbbing clit when you cry out his name.

Heizou -> This detective is on the case! Figuring out what makes you break with his mouth and fingers alone is his favorite pastime. He likes it messy, slobber and your own cum from a previous orgasm spilling down his cheeks and chin as you ride his tongue. For the love of all the Archons, sit on this dudes face.

Genshin Character ls That Eat Pussy For THEIR Pleasure:

Kazuha -> A certified pussy-holic, always begging to eat you out. He drags you to a secluded corner whenever he can, dropping to his knees just to shove his face between your legs. He needs to taste you, needs you to cream on his tongue, eyes rolling back in his head as you moan his name.

Diluc -> His favorite way to destress is to have you laid out on his king sized bed, spreading your legs so he can have full access to you. He could spend hours just leisurely swirling his tongue around your clit, edging you until you cry for him. Just wait a bit longer, he’s not done yet.

Xiao -> Pussy menace. He’s practically growling possessively between your thighs, acting as though your cunt belongs to him and him alone. Try and push him away and he’ll nip your thigh, diving right back in to this grand feast. If you just so happen to enjoy it, great, but he’s here trying to drink up all you essence, licking you clean each time you cum.

Venti -> Ruthless bard who gets so drunk on eating you out that he loses the ability to think. Your cries for more make his cock twitch, and he find himself humping you, the bed, or whatever he can shamelessly grind his hips into. Shoves his tongue in your pussy just to pull away and watch as your hole clenches around nothing. Brings a dumb smile to his face.

Childe -> This man is a feral beast, don’t expect him to be gentle with you. Gets really into it, moaning against your pussy as your thighs squeeze his head. He’s delirious, letting a glob of spit drop onto your clit before wrapping his lips around the bud and sucking it clean. He’s prone to making your legs shake so bad and overstimulating you to the point where you have to use the safe word, he just gets so lost.

#albedo x reader #heizou x reader #ayato x reader #kazuha x reader #diluc x reader #xiao x reader #venti x reader #childe x reader #tartaglia x reader #raiden shogun x reader #ei x reader #kamisato ayato x reader #albedo kreideprinz x reader #kazuha kaedehara x reader #genshin x reader #n/sfw #afab! reader

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strawberryama · 4 months

Text

His balls are huge. I can feel it in my soul!!

i say this too much so here we are besties

content : fem!reader x rook, ball sucking, public sex, library sex, cum swallowing, slight shoe humping mentions

18+ Minors dni!!!

“I can’t believe I’m even asking this…but do tell, how are you undoubtedly certain?”

“I just know it. I have that kind of sense, ya know?”

Cater could only roll his eyes. There was no way this conversation was happening right now. In front of his lunch no less. Thank god lunch was nearly over, cause he couldn’t eat anymore. Not after hearing about how _______ was dead certain her crush, the vice housewarden of Pomefiore, had huge breeder balls. He didn’t even want to think about that guy naked. Yet, this was the current lunch topic, as Trey was busy this afternoon.

“That’s…great. Can I please eat in peace?”

______ turned to her friend, watermelon chunk on her fork. She’d been eating this entire time. It was as if the conversation topic was just something as casual as homework answers to her. She completely unphased. ______ bit down on the watermelon, shrugging to the guy before her.

“You’re unbelievable, you know that?” Cater groaned.

“What?!”

“Nothing. Just forget it! I’m going to the library for study hall, early.”

“I’ll come with then!”

Cater only groaned once more as he stood up, grabbing his tray. “If you’re coming, then no more nasty discussion, ‘kay? I gotta study or Riddle’ll kill me.”

“Aye, aye!”

______ stayed true to her word. She even was actively studying alongside of Cater. She went looking for a book though, deep in the stacks. Sometimes potions class was a pain in the butt. There were so many cryptic ingredients that she knew next to nothing about.

The only issue was every damn book that explained those ingredients was up on the highest shelf. God forbid this school have accessible shelves. No, ofc ourse, they need to have six foot and then some tall shelves.

As she reached and stretched the best she could, she felt a broad, strong mass press into her. A hand came up, gracefully pulling the book she required from the shelf.

“Here you are,” mused a voice.

______turned to look over her shoulder, and none other than Rook Hunt stood there, pressed into her. He didn’t back up at all. Rook grinned down to ______, his free hand coming to grab her waist, rooting her there.

“Madame, how good to see you!~”

“You too, Rook,” she sheepishly smiled. She could feel her cheeks burning. Fuck. He was hot. His eyes pierced right through her like an arrow.

“You know, a lil birdie told me something.”

“O-Oh yeah?”

“You have a hypothesis about a specific part of my body is what I heard at lunch.”

“I!”

“It’s okay. You’re more than welcome to find out.”

At this, ______ felt something long and hard press into her ass. She was burning up and she was growing wet. She was going to get to see the Rook Hunt’s cock and fat, fat balls. She wasdrooling at the thought.

“May I?” she asked all too eager.

“Please, go right ahead”

Her eyes rolled right back into her head as she sucked on his fat balls. They felt sooo good in her mouth. She drooled all over them, salivating at the heady scent and taste she consumed. ______ could barely even stifle the obscene noises that she made. Let alone, the moan that she let out about the testicle that filled her mouth.

“Good girl,” Rook drawled. His hand grabbed a fistful of ______’s hair, pulling her in further, causing her to gag.

______ was thoroughly enjoying herself now. Her pussy smeared its juice all over Rook’s boot as she rubbed her clit desperate for any friction. Spit was dribbling down her chin. She was in ecstasy. A true dream. Finally, a pair of huge, fat balls full of hot, white cum. And they were all her’s. No one else’s.

Rook threw back his head against the bookshelf, hat dropping from his head. She was good at this, far better than he’d imagined she’d be when he overheard her at lunch. And the absolute messy display of a whore before him was hotter than hell. In fact, Rook may have just found his new favorite toy. And it was better than bothering that prefect of Savanaclaw could ever be.

Rook’s balls began tightening and he bucked into ______ more fervently than before. Her hand reached up, gently teasing at the head of Rook’s fat cock, urging it to cum all over her. Her thumb circled about the slit in his cock, spreading the precum that leaked out. All the while, her hand rubbed and squeezed what she could reach, daring Rook to let go. Daring him to cum and make a mess just for her.

Through hooded, lust fulled eyes, Rook saw the devious wanton look in ______’s eyes. God, she’s a goddess, he could only think. He yanked her off of his pulsating balls, posing his cock’s head before her lips before she could whine in complaint.

“Princeese, take it nice and deep,” he commanded in a shaky breath. But ______ didn’t need any instructions. Rook barely finished his sentence, before ______ began to suck on the tip of his cock.

She moaned, teasing him, with each inch she’d swallow up. Her tight throat constricted about Rook’s sensitive cock.

He couldn’t hold out any longer. His grip on her hair tightened, burying the last few centimeters of his cock in ______’s mouth. With a deep grunt, Rook keeled in on himself, shooting hot cum down ______’s throat. Those emerald eyes rolled back as he stifled a groan, his cock scraping against her uvula.

But ______ didn’t even flinch. She drank every drop of his hot salty cum, a dazed grin forming as she pulled herself off him. ______ gently licked off any remaining cum that dared to escape before grinning up at him mischievously.

“It seems my hypothesis was correct,” she snickered, placing his fallen hat upon her head.

#rook hunt #rook hunt x reader #rook hunt smut #twisted wonderland #twst #pomefiore #smut #drabble

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wandamaximoffsbadgirl · 4 months

Text

Let's Talk About That

Can we just stand still? (5)

Psychiatrist!Avenger!Fem!Reader x Wanda Maximoff

Warnings: This chapter deals with the bombing scene that happens during CACW.

Word count: 2.7K

A/N: Things are about to get angsty from here, so you better buckle up everyone!

May 21st 2016

Your day had started off like any other. You woke up in your room where Wanda had stayed with you. It had become a common occurrence for the two of you to spend the night in each other's room. You gave her a soft kiss on the cheek before slipping out of bed. Wanda stirred only slightly as she readjusted herself, taking in a deep breath before letting it out as she settled in once more making you smile before heading off to take a shower and get your day started.

By the time you were getting dressed about an hour later, Wanda stirred awake. Sitting up with messy bedhead and rubbing her sleep filled eyes she still managed to look beautiful. You smiled as you made your way over, kissing the top of her head.

“Good morning krasivaya(beautiful).” You knew several languages before meeting Wanda, Russian included, and she promised some day to help you learn Sokovian. She beamed a still sleep filled smile up at you.

“Good morning. Are you off to work?” She asks, looking over your appearance.

“Yes sweet girl I've got an early appointment with Sam today. He wanted to switch his appointments to before his morning training.” Wanda simply nods and leans against your stomach, breathing in your scent.

“I'll see you later, right?” She asks looking up at you.

“Of course, sweet girl. We'll see each other for dinner and sitcoms, okay?” you reassure her.

“Okay I'll see you then.” She's smiling once more and pulling you down into a kiss before she lays back down and gets all comfy as she grabs her phone for some morning wake up time as you exit the room.

It was just past noon. You had already done a few sessions for the day and just finished eating lunch. You'd been working on going over the notes for the next session of the day so you knew where you had left off last time with them. Though you were interrupted by Natasha coming through your door.

"Y/N, I need you to come with me." Natasha states. You sigh, looking up from your work, pushing your glasses up.

"What is it? I thought you were getting ready for Vienna?" You asked with a bit of venom. You haven't been talking since she decided she was on Tony's side and would be the representative for going to sign the accords on behalf of the Avengers.

"I was, something else has come up. A bit of an emergency. Steve is already there." She tells you and you shoot up from your seat.

"I'll be ready in 10." You tell her. Hurrying out of your office to go find Wanda.

"Hey sweetie what's up?" She asks when you barge into her room.

"Nat is taking me on an emergency mission. Apparently Steve is already headed out. I don't know how long I'll be gone for. I didn't have time to ask." You take three big strides towards her, wrapping her up into your arms. "I love you." You tell her.

"I love you too. Be safe." She says back. The two of you share a kiss and if you had known that would be the last time you'd get to kiss her you would have never let her go.

======================================================

The urgency in Natasha's demeanor was palpable as you swiftly made your way to the rendezvous point. You couldn't shake the feeling of unease gnawing at your gut, a foreboding sense of impending danger hanging heavy in the air.

As you boarded the Quinjet with Natasha and soared through the skies towards your destination, your mind raced with possibilities, each one more ominous than the last. You couldn't help but worry about Wanda, her safety and well-being weighing heavily on your mind. The last thing you had wanted was to leave her right now while the team was in shambles from fighting on opposite sides. A civil war brewing just under the surface of the cold war that was currently taking place. Both sides ready, but neither willing to make the first move yet.

Natasha remained stoic beside you, her focus unwavering as she piloted the aircraft with practiced ease. You admired her composure, her ability to maintain her resolve even in the face of uncertainty.

The minutes stretched into hours as you flew towards your unknown destination, the tension in the air palpable. With each passing moment, your concern for Wanda grew, a knot of worry tightening in my chest.

May 22nd 2016

As you finally touched down and prepared to embark on your mission, you couldn't shake the feeling of dread that lingered in the pit of your stomach. Whatever awaited you on the other side, you knew that you would do whatever it took to ensure the safety of those you cared about, no matter the cost.

Natasha took you to a safe house. Made you get dressed in a nice suit, while she slipped into a dress. Both of you in black. She grabbed the two of you a rental car and before you knew it you were in front of a church. "Tasha? What are we doing here? This looks like a funeral." You state.

"That's because it is. Peggy Carter. Steve's first love all the way back from his days before being a super soldier. I figured he'd need us as a support system." Normally you'd be mad that Tasha didn't just tell you outright, especially with everything going on, but she's right. He does need you two. So you simply nod and get out of the car. Looking like another set of people Peggy had met over the years.

As you entered the church, a solemn atmosphere enveloped you, the air heavy with grief and reverence. You couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness as you thought of Peggy Carter, a woman whose legacy loomed large in the lives of those she had touched. Funerals were never a good place for you. Too much emotion that you could feel from every direction, making you feel sick and overwhelmed.

Steve stood near the front of the church, his expression a mask of sorrow as he greeted mourners and offered his condolences. Your heart ached for him, knowing the depth of his loss and the pain he must be feeling.

Natasha and you quietly make your way towards him, offering our support in the only way you knew how. You stood by his side, wordless gestures of solidarity as you paid our respects to Peggy and mourned her passing.

In that moment, amidst the somber surroundings and the weight of your grief, you felt a sense of unity with your teammates, a bond forged through shared trials and tribulations. Together, you would weather this storm, drawing strength from each other as you faced the challenges that lay ahead.

After the funeral you talked with Steve and Tasha asked you to stay with her as her body guard of sorts. Obviously with the Accords signing there could be trouble from anyone or anything. You really didn't want to since you were against signing them, but Steve urged you as well. Safety in numbers and telling you, "Nat is doing what she thinks is right. You're doing what you think is right, but she's still your best friend." You wanted to argue because let's face it. You're 20 and she's 31 she shouldn't be your best friend, but over the time of being in the Avengers she had become your best friend with movie nights, girl time, shopping trips, dinners, sleepovers. It didn't make sense, but it also somehow did.

So you agreed to go with her. You sat in front with her this time, not knowing how to fly, but just watching and admiring her. "I can teach you some day." She mentions when she notices you watching.

"Oh no I don't...I'd rather not. I don't even have my regular license." You remind her.

"We should fix that too." Tasha says.

"It scares me." You admit and Tasha chuckles.

"You've gone against monsters and aliens and gods and that's what scares you?" She asks and you nod. "You're something else, little bee." You smiled at your nickname she had given you after she found you watching a documentary about bees and you were crying over how bumblebees shouldn't be able to fly because of how fat they are. "You're thinking about the bees again aren't you?"

"They're so fat!" You cry out and she laughs.

"You're the cutest, you know that right?" She tells you and you feel your face heat up.

"What? No...no not me..." you can see her smirk, but she doesn't press me further.

=============================

You were at the Accords meeting as you stayed close to Tasha. She talked with T'Challa for a bit. You told him if he needed to talk to someone he could always call and have a virtual session with you. He gave a polite smile and thanked us. Tasha and you headed to your seats towards the back of the room. When you sat your leg started bouncing like crazy which you didn't notice until she put a hand on it. Your head snapped to her hand and then to her face.

"I know things like this aren't your thing. You prefer to stay behind the scenes, but I appreciate you being here. More than you understand." She speaks softly and before you can respond the meeting is starting. T'Challa's father T'Chaka, is speaking, thanking the Avengers. As he carries on the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, you get goosebumps and without a second thought you throw up a force field around the floor as T'Challa calls out, "Everybody get down!" and an explosion goes off. Even with your force field you still end up grabbing and holding Tasha as if your small frame would protect her.

"Are you okay?" You ask her first.

"I'm fine."

"Is everyone okay?" You called out. Most people are but the explosion still rocked the building. People had stumbled or got pushed away by your force field. You can only make it so big. "I need all available medics and fire to the scene now!" You call through the ear piece you were given earlier in the day.

As chaos erupted in the aftermath of the explosion, Natasha and you found yourselves caught in the flurry of activity. Despite the adrenaline coursing through your veins, your focus remained steadfast on ensuring Natasha's safety.

"I'm fine," she reassured you, her voice steady despite the chaos surrounding us.

Relieved by her response, you quickly surveyed the scene, calling out for assistance and coordinating with emergency responders through the earpiece. The force field you had instinctively erected provided a barrier of protection, but you knew that the situation remained volatile.

"We need to get out of here," Natasha urged, her eyes scanning the room for any signs of danger.

Nodding in agreement, you took her hand and guided her towards the nearest exit, maintaining a vigilant watch for any potential threats. The air was thick with tension as you navigated through the chaos, the weight of the unfolding events pressing upon us.

Once outside, you breathed a sigh of relief, the cool air offering a brief respite from the chaos within. But even as you moved to a safer location, you knew that the danger was far from over. With the Accords meeting descending into chaos, the fragile peace you had hoped to achieve seemed to slip further from your grasp.

As emergency responders rushed to the scene, you couldn't shake the feeling of unease that settled over you. The events of the evening had underscored the precarious nature of our existence as Avengers, and the challenges that lay ahead seemed daunting.

But amidst the uncertainty, one thing remained clear: you would do whatever it took to protect those you cared about, no matter the cost. And as you stood by Natasha's side, facing an uncertain future, you knew that your bond would be your greatest strength in the days to come.

Tasha held a cold Gatorade against my face, "Here. Drink." It was my favorite flavor which means she had brought it with her. You smile and take it, after a few gulps she hands me a baggie filled with your favorite after mission snacks, ones that help me replenish your energy.

"You packed this with you?"

"Of course. I always do. Just in case."

"Why?"

"Y/N. You always take care of us and sometimes you forget about your own self-care. It's okay because I'll remind you and help pick up the slack." Tasha smiles at you and you smile back.

"You know, through everything going on...I'm still so thankful that I took the job when Tony offered it. I never wanted to be an Avenger. It just fell in my lap. All I ever wanted was to just be a psychiatrist. To help people. I know I'm still doing that, but it's not what I had envisioned for my future, ya know?" She wraps an arm around your shoulder, holding you close.

"I know. I'm glad you're here with me. Through all of this. You'll stay with me right?" She asks. You take in a shaky breath. You consider it, but you remember Wanda back at home waiting.

"But...Wanda..."

"She's safe. She's at the compound." Tasha says and you nod. You want to say no, but you don't think you've ever said no to Tasha. Especially not when she needs you.

"I can stay, I just...can I call Wanda? Let her know I'm okay? I'm sure this is all over the news by now." Tasha hands me the phone and you call the familiar number.

"Y/N!? Please tell me you're okay!?" She cries through the phone.

"I'm fine, baby girl. Don't worry. Tasha and I are safe. So are most people who were on the floor. I threw up my force field. I know I didn't get everyone in time, but I saved a lot more who would have died." You run your fingers through your hair. Tasha's hand on your back.

"Are you coming home?" She asks and you sigh.

"I can't. Tasha and I haven't gotten the okay. I don't know when I'll be back. I'm sorry baby girl." Your heart breaks as she talks.

"I'll be fine here. Just...be safe. Please. I mean it this time." Her voice is cracking and you can tell she's crying.

"I will, I promise. I have to go. Just stay at the compound, it's the safest place, okay?"

"Yes Doctor." You give a small smile.

"I love you." The line cuts before she can reply. Your hand drops as you stare at the ground.

"Everything okay?"

"She didn't say I love you back...she just hung up..." Tasha pulls you back in for a hug.

"I'm sorry sweetie. Maybe she didn't realize you said it." You decided to listen to Tasha instead of letting your mind wander.

As Natasha comforted you, her words offering a soothing balm to your troubled thoughts, you tried to push aside the hurt and uncertainty gnawing at your heart. Despite the chaos of the evening, her unwavering support provided a beacon of stability in the tumultuous aftermath.

Taking a deep breath, you focused on the present moment, allowing yourself to be enveloped by Natasha's reassuring presence. She had always been there for you, a steadfast ally in the face of adversity, and you knew that you could rely on her to see you through even the darkest of times.

With Natasha by my side, you felt a renewed sense of strength and determination, a reminder that you were not alone in facing the challenges that lay ahead. And as you awaited further instructions, you resolved to remain vigilant, ready to confront whatever obstacles may come your way.

Amidst the uncertainty and turmoil, one thing remained clear: no matter the trials you faced, you would continue to stand by Natasha's side, trusting in your bond to carry you through the storm. And as you leaned into her embrace, you found solace in the knowledge that together, you would weather whatever challenges the future may hold.

#ley speaks #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff #ley writes #wanda x reader #wanda maximoff fluff #wanda x you #wanda maximoff angst #natasha romanoff

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ahundredtimesover · 2 years

Text

A little something from our PLM couple 🥰

Title: Please Love Me Bonus 08 - The Aftermath

WC: 15,116

Tags/Warnings: angst; mentions of pregnancy/having a family; mentions of illness; fluff; explicit sexual content (making out, nipple play, thigh-riding ish, pillow missionary bc yes, unprotected vaginal sex); JK Dreamers MV behind with the exposed arm

Series Masterlist

Jungkook’s eyes are the prettiest you’ve ever seen.

You remember how they used to look back at you when you were kids - wide and bright, curious and full of wonder; they shone like stars even during the day.

You remember how they’d started to become livelier as you grew older - they held in them this playful mischief that was always endearing to you, even if the adults often called him out for being a rascal.

His eyes had become distant to you by the time you were in high school, though you’d still catch glimpses of them when he wasn’t looking. There was still that way it would shine like an entire galaxy, just as much as it held in them the recklessness of a teenager vying for attention.

But Jungkook spoke his emotions through them just as much as he held his heart on his sleeves. And though you recall a time when his piercing gaze used to unsettle you when he was just coming into terms with your marriage arrangement, all that has faded away at your reality that this man is in love with you, and all you’ve been seeing is passion and care and an unyielding glimmer of trust and commitment. It’s been over 3 years and despite the rare moments of frustration and hurt that you’ve seen in them, his eyes would always show you love.

“Done staring at my face?” He teasingly mumbles with his gruff voice.

“Not yet,” you softly smile, snuggling up to him a little closer.

You want to hold onto this look of his a little longer - sleepy eyes and messy hair, soft against the white linens of your shared bed and the sunlight seeping through the windows. You want to hold onto it if only to forget about last night - the defeat on his face, the bottled up frustrations, the way his voice cracked as he told you how you hurt him, how he tried to control his cries, and how he’d let you walk out of that guest room to be alone and away from you.

“You came,” you continue, gently tracing his face and missing how it felt.

“It’s hard to sleep without you,” he says, “even if we’re far apart. I don’t like waking up and not knowing if you’re there.”

The memory hits him as he utters the words - the fight from years ago and watching you walk away from him, then waking up to find that you were gone. The fear crippled him then, even more after learning about the truth. He’d promised himself after that night that unless he’s physically unable, he’ll never sleep without you, that the security of your presence and of your hold would trump any other emotion he’s feeling at the moment. Like now.

“It’s hard to sleep without you, too,” you reply, your voice almost cracking. “I’m sorry, Kook, I—”

He stops you with a shake of his head. “We don’t need to talk about it right now. It’s been a hard week.”

There’s something new in his eyes. Submission, maybe? It’s almost like he’s pleading - pleading for you to let it pass this time, to not let it linger - and all you could do is follow. This is the most that you could do for him after all that you’ve done.

“Okay,” you hum. Perhaps the wounds are still fresh; maybe he’s letting everything still sink in. It’s much better than the past few days, and you’ll take what you can get.

He responds with a soft smile and a kiss on your forehead and one on your lips. You sigh into it and all your other thoughts melt away. Right now, this is all you need.

“I’ll make us some breakfast,” he says, slowly getting up. “The kids have a soccer game today. Are you okay to watch?”

“Of course,” you perk up, wanting so badly to be out of the house and in a place bursting with energy. “I’ll wash up and head down.”

Jungkook’s eyes are glued to the TV while you both eat, and you convince yourself that this is him, claiming that sense of normalcy after a week of being cooped up in his home office, stressed and frustrated. You don’t want to think it has anything to do with him not knowing how to fill the silence that you both used to comfortably share.

You place your hand on top of his once he's finished his meal, and as if it’s reflex for him, he squeezes it in response. It’s that bit of comfort you need and you don’t ask for more.

Neither one of you says much as you both get ready, choosing to let the music fill the air, the same way you do once you’re in the car. He holds your hand while he drives, though, and despite the absence of his usual affection - none of the kisses, the loving glances, the declarations of love - you know it’s somehow still there.

“Hey, everything okay?”

Yeri asks as she hugs a tutu-clad Ji-a on her lap, all ready for her ballet class after the game.

“Yeah, just getting used to being outside, I guess,” you chuckle, appreciating the cool breeze this Saturday morning.

“Ah, seemed like you zoned out a bit. Soojin almost hit a goal,” she informs you.

You turn towards the field and see your niece with that frustrated look on her face, the one she has on when she misses a shot. You hadn’t even noticed, as your eyes had been focused on your husband - on the sidelines with Junghyun as substitute coach for your brother.

You’d wandered towards Jungkook’s direction almost immediately after you sat down, waiting for his usual questioning look of concern or that sweet smile he has whenever you’re separated but in the same place. But your gaze hasn’t moved, and you haven’t even realized that you’ve been absent-mindlessly looking his way, so you can tell he hasn’t even glanced at you.

You’re both okay, you tell yourself. This is normal after a fight. You’re reminded that after last night’s confrontation, you and Jungkook hadn’t talked yet - about how you hurt him and how you can do better. Perhaps he’s still processing everything; maybe there’s still some ache left. And that should be fine; there’s nothing to worry about.

“Yay!” Ji-a squeals, and you see Soojin celebrating on the field, running to the bench to high-five Jungkook, Junghyun, and Soyeon.

You cheer with them, hopelessly waiting for your husband to look your way, but he never does.

He still takes your hand during lunch with your family though. He also sits next to you on your couch with his arm over the backrest when his friends decide to come over in the afternoon to play games and have dinner. And at night, he lets you lay on his chest as you both talk about the day - the kids being so excited about your upcoming family trip, Taehyung’s plan of proposing to his girlfriend, and Jimin declaring that he wants to be a dad, regardless of how it happens.

It’s what reminded you of the thoughts you’ve been having since the other night and all of the things that Jungkook had made you realize.

“Honey, I was thinking about what you said,” you say softly, eyes to the ceiling as you painfully recall. “Sometimes I think that I already know how to handle living with my condition and I figured out ways to not let it bother others but then… you’re right, about everything. It’s not something I should just brush off. I wouldn’t want you keeping things that serious from me, too.”

You look at him, apologetic eyes meeting his soft ones. “And I still have a lot to learn about being a partner, about being a wife… and being more honest and open and yeah, maybe it wouldn’t be easy for us to go through the process of pregnancy and having kids unless I’ve learned to communicate better about my needs and my struggles. Maybe… maybe it isn’t time yet.”

You’re met with silence, and you turn to Jungkook for any form of affirmation - that he’d heard you, that he agrees.

Caught off guard, he merely nods, hoping you don’t notice the way his face falls at your words. Of all the things he’d said, that’s what he regrets the most.

How the hell can we have our own kids if you can’t even communicate with me? If you can’t even tell me what you’re feeling?

They ring in his head like a bad dream, one that he can’t escape from. He’d said them in a moment of frustration, of desperation, and he wants nothing more than to take them back right now, just so you won’t pass up on the one thing you want more than anything - a family.

He hates himself for what his words have come to mean to you. Clearly, he didn’t mean that you’re not yet ready to become a mother, but it’s how you took it. And now, you’re here, believing that your inability to communicate what you’re feeling is what’s keeping you from becoming one.

Jungkook knows you’re more than capable, and communication is something that you - that both of you - can work on. He’s the one who’s been so afraid to commit to having a family because of what it would mean for you, something he’s come to realize is also a bit selfish on his part because you’re the one who’d be physically going through the pregnancy, who’d be struggling and who’d be in pain, yet he’s the one who can’t get past all that to be able to give you something you want, which he knows deep down is something that he wants, too.

Yet a part of him remains disappointed, that in an effort to patch up your relationship, you feel the need to concede to him, to reconsider the one thing that he knows is most important to you, to put yourself down, as if admitting that you’re not yet ready was caused by him.

As he was days ago, he’s upset and hurt. He wants to hold you tighter, tell you that you’re wrong, assure you that you’ll both work together on communicating, and that should make everything alright moving forward.

But as Jungkook has come to realize, he’s not all that good at dealing with complicated emotions like this, at reconciling how the person he loves the most can let him down. He’s not even over what happened last week and the words you’d both exchanged, and now here he is again, wanting to comfort you while feeling a mix of guilt and disappointment.

He decides against holding you tighter. You’ve fallen asleep already and he admits missing your soft snores and the way your warm breath hits his skin. He lets you stay there, comfortable and safe, while he wallows in his own emotions and stays up the entire night.

Jungkook falls asleep right before the sun rises, and that means he sleeps through the entire morning and is awakened by your caresses on his arm.

He grumbles when you tell him that lunch is ready.

“Hey, honey. Come on,” you say, removing the bangs off his forehead and kissing it. “I had Mrs. Na make tangsuyuk. I know you’ve been craving it.”

“Oh, she’s here?” He asks, eyes now half open.

“Mother made her come over to send me tea and fruits and I thought to ask her to prepare our lunch,” you respond.”

“Okay. I’ll be down in a bit.”

You excitedly wait for him in the dining room. You’d wanted to go for a walk in the park with him earlier but he slept in. You can’t imagine how tired he is so you let him be. You’re thinking that perhaps you can spend the afternoon watching movies or something, perhaps cuddle and make up for the week that was.

But Jungkook doesn’t seem to want any quiet, as he puts the TV on blast while he watches soccer highlights. You don’t get any word in as his eyes are glued to the screen. You only get to say anything when he checks his phone and groans, dropping it on the table seemingly out of frustration.

“Everything okay?” You ask.

“Yeah, just work stuff,” he responds dryly. “I don’t even want to think about it.”

“Well, then do you want to—”

“Is Mrs. Na staying?” He unknowingly interjects. “I was planning to go to the gym in the afternoon but I don’t want you to be alone.”

“Oh, I can ask her to,” you say dejectedly, masking the disappointment. “But yeah, you should go to relieve your stress. Will you be gone long?”

“Not sure,” he shrugs. “I’ll let you know.”

You nod and pick on your food now, suddenly losing your appetite. You don’t miss the thought that right before you and Jungkook had that confrontation, he’d gone to the gym as you suggested so that he could spend time on his own because he didn’t seem to want to spend it with you. That was just 2 days ago, and now he’s going back. You hate to think it’s the same reason and he’s only being subtle about it now.

Maybe it’s still too much for him. Maybe he hasn’t gotten over what happened the other night. That’s a lot to process, you remind yourself; even you haven’t done it because you don’t know how to. But he’s the one who doesn’t want to talk about it, and you hate to think that this time, he’s the one avoiding it, masking it, sweeping it under the rug until he’s finally ready to face it.

You both finish your lunch and Jungkook heads to your room to fix up. He gives you a forehead kiss before he leaves.

“Text me, okay?” You remind him.

“I will. Text me, too, if you, uh, if you feel anything.”

It’s 3 hours later when you send a message.

Hey, Kook. Mrs. Na and I will bake some cakes. Craving for anything specific? ☺️

But he doesn’t reply. An hour later, you check on him again.

Hey, honey. Hope you’re not overworking yourself. What time will you be home?

And again.

Kook? Will you be back in time for dinner?

And again.

Everything okay?

He finally replies at 7PM, 6 hours after he left.

Sorry. Was about to leave earlier but my boxing trainer got back from his leave so we did some rounds. He convinced me to get a massage so I did. Masseuse was great. She got rid of my knots.

Oh and yeah, I’ll be home in 20.

Jungkook reads your messages over and over again. He isn’t the type to not text back when it comes to you, and you know that. He regularly uses you as his daily journal, in fact, sending you memes or texts of what he’s doing or what he’s seen on the way to somewhere.

It isn’t like him to not update you about anything for this long unless he’s physically incapable. In this case, he’d purposely avoided his phone, knowing there would be a message or two from you. And he couldn’t bring himself to read them when the reason why he’s here is to rid himself of all the emotions that he’s feeling for and because of you.

He feels that staying at home with you would give you both an opportunity to talk about what happened, and he’s not yet ready for that.

Every time he thinks of what he felt as he recalls that day of driving to the hospital to you, he feels numb and useless. There’s that feeling of dread and paralyzing fear. There’s also that disbelief that you could hide something so important from him, and this is always mixed with a tinge of betrayal alongside the resounding pain. He just wants to hold you in his arms to make all the ache go away, but the way you look at him burns. He wants to hear your voice and know you’re okay but he doesn’t want your apologies.

He thought hearing you speak that night would calm his heart. He thought crawling into bed with you right after just so he can keep his promise of not spending a night away from you would push him towards forgiveness and acceptance. He thought that talking about the fight to someone would help him make sense of things.

But he’s still left with a slew of emotions that he doesn’t know what to do with, that he doesn’t know how to make sense of or control. It’s why he decided to pass up on spending this lazy Sunday with you and head to the gym instead so he could release whatever he needs to release in there and not to you again.

He promised himself after that night, seeing you cry and looking helpless and apologetic, that he wouldn’t unload all his thoughts and feelings about you to you. Much as you’re still his daily journal, he reckons that maybe, not when it comes to you. If he needs to be apart from you to save you from his own inability to understand and temper what he feels, then he will. He just hopes he doesn’t push you too far.

Was love always this hard? Is it meant to be? Isn’t it supposed to be natural? Of course, your situation is different. You were both thrust into this arrangement and were lucky enough to fall in love. But after learning, isn’t it supposed to be easy, effortless? Like the love is just overflowing, unyielding, easy to understand?

And as you reply with your sweetness still echoing through - Oh Kook, get some rest when you get here. Is there anything else you want? Just let me know. Can’t wait to see you ☺️ - he can’t help it; his heart just breaks even more for you.

Jungkook comes home to handmade pasta and a chicken dish that you said Mrs. Na taught you to make. You also didn’t know what cake he wanted so you made cheesecake cups and a chocolate one and another one with mangoes. It’s delicious, as he expected, and your joyful face as you were making these while thinking of him flashes in his mind. He hates that he missed it, but he also knows that spending the entire day at the gym was the best thing that he could’ve done.

He does the dishes while you linger in the kitchen, asking about the most mundane things. Perhaps it’s to fill the silence, or maybe to convince you - or him - that things are normal.

Any time that Jungkook feels like you’ll bring up something from the other night or the past week, he gets to you first, asking about other trivial things, too. In truth, he’s just scared of how another conversation with you about your issues would go. He’s learning now that he’s not good with communication, too.

How does he tell you he loves you without downplaying how you disappointed him? How does he tell you that you hurt him without hurting you back? How can he verbalize all these things he’s feeling without looking so helpless to you?

“Kook?”

Your voice shakes him out of his thoughts, and he realizes he’s been rinsing the same bowl for the past 5 minutes.

“Yeah?” He asks, not making eye contact.

He hears you sigh and he briefly closes his eyes to brace himself for another question or statement he’s probably not ready for while also thinking of something to possibly change the topic, but instead you ask if he’s going to work tomorrow.

“Uh, yeah. I have to check one of the sites,” he replies. “Have Mrs. Na come over tomorrow, okay? You’ll be fine here?”

“Yeah, I guess,” you hum, looking away now. “I’ll go to the studio on Tuesday, though. I confirmed 2 classes.”

“Oh, okay,” he huffs. “You’re cleared to go back to work?”

“Dr. Kwon cleared me. As long as I don’t do anything strenuous or too stressful, it’s back to normal for me,” you state. “Plus, I miss the kids. I need some joy and laughter to fill my days. It’s… it’s been a while.”

Jungkook takes a deep breath to keep himself from asking further. He chooses to gloss over the insinuation that there hasn’t been anything worthy of joy and laughter in your days this past week. He doesn’t want to get into it right now.

“Okay then, if he says so.”

You wait for a follow up - perhaps his usual instruction to be careful and call me for anything, but it doesn’t come. There’s no playful banter, either. There’s no invite for a movie or wine and chocolate at the balcony like how your Sundays usually are, and you’ve come to think yourself silly for even expecting it.

He yawns and it’s your cue, so you tell him to go to bed and prepare for what surely is gonna be another long week ahead.

“What about you?” He asks.

“I’ll drink my tea on the balcony. It’s a nice night,” you reply, wanting to be alone with your thoughts. And well, for him to miss you even for just a little bit.

“Alright, just don’t stay up too late, yeah? It’s cold out.”

You nod and his gaze on you lingers, his eyes telling you that he wants to say more - do more - but that he chooses to hold back. And you let him, thinking that if it’s time he still needs to sort out his feelings, then that’s what you’ll give him. He still speaks to you, after all, and sleeps next to you. Given all that’s happened, you know you can’t complain.

But he kisses your forehead, and suddenly you feel like crying. But you hold back, knowing that the tension would just build and neither of you seems ready to face it.

The lone tear eventually falls though, an hour later after you’ve had your tea and you’ve washed up. The lights are off in the room save for your bedside lamp, and you can see the rise and fall of Jungkook’s chest as he peacefully sleeps on his back. You lay on your side, facing away from him. It’s shortly after when you feel him shift and then his arm wraps around your middle.

“Goodnight,” he whispers.

He loves you. So much. You know this. But it’s the unsaid things that you’re afraid of, that you worry about. It’s knowing he has more to say but that he doesn’t seem to want to share them with you. It’s missing the routines and habits. It’s the uneasiness of possibly doing or saying something again that would make everything boil over. It’s the insecurity of all your faults and shortcomings surfacing. It’s the fear of not knowing how to handle it the next time you’re faced with them again.

It’s wanting to hold his hand despite it all and knowing that you’d go through this over and over again if it means loving each other much better at the end of it.

You pull his arm tighter around you and sigh into his hold, taking as much as you possibly can.

“Goodnight,” you whisper back. “Sleep well, Kook.”

The cafe across the street from the art studio is chic and cozy. It’s an apartment that was transformed into a commercial space and it’s retained its homey feel, a perfect fit in this neighborhood that lets you forget for a moment that you’re in the middle of the buzzing city of Seoul.

It’s also where you’re meeting Junghyun this Tuesday mid-morning, as he’s coming from an early meeting with an investor nearby.

“Hi,” you greet him with a hug, exhaling deeply as if you haven’t had something that comforting in a while. And well, you really haven’t.

“Looked like you really needed that, huh,” he smiles kindly.

“I did. I still do,” you respond.

It’s the statement that leads you to narrating the past week with your husband to the older man - from the cold treatment, the confrontation, and how that night ended.

Junghyun merely nods, hums, and sips his coffee.

“Jungkook brought you up, you know?” You say softly. “About how I trust you the way I do and that I don’t do the same with him.”

“I know,” Junghyun replies, surprising you. “He told me.”

“When? He talked to you about it? What did he say?”

“He mentioned it. During the soccer game, in the middle of coaching,” he chuckles, remembering how he and his brother went from drawing plays and encouraging the little kids to talking seriously about your marriage. “He didn’t go into detail the way you just did but he said he lost it, said a bunch of things that he regrets, and that hearing about you being in the ER from me triggered something in him. Deja vu for him, I guess, because I’m the one who told him about your sickness.”

“What else did he say?”

“He apologized to me, said that he shouldn’t have brought me into it, that he feels silly for being jealous and I told him that he doesn’t have a reason to be.”

“Oh,” you sigh. “I didn’t know he felt that way.”

“Is that all that you don’t know?” He pushes.

You shake your head no, and Junghyun has that look again like he knows there’s more, and like always, you give in. You talk about feeling distant from your husband, how - despite the care and the goodnight hug and kiss - he still feels so far away, like he’s deliberately creating space between the both of you with only his hand out far enough to let you know that he’s still there, but not close enough for you to feel that he wants things back to the way they were. Or that he’s ready for it.

“I mean, it’s much better than how we were last week and that’s at least something to be thankful for. But I…” you continue, feeling the tears forming in your eyes. “I don’t know how to make him talk to me. I don’t know what he’s feeling, I don’t know how to make it up to him or to make things better. I don’t know… I don’t know how to make him want me again.”

“Hey, I’m sure he does,” Junghyun nudges your knee. “You both just experienced something scary, okay? And then had to deal with the consequences of you keeping things from him. Those are a lot of emotions to process and manage. I can tell that he’s having a hard time. Especially when expressing those emotions caused you some hurt, too. You know that he can’t stand to see or even know you’re crying, like right now.”

Junghyun takes the napkin from the table and wipes your tears, thinking how he’s not used to this sight because you rarely ever become emotional like this.

“I keep crying, I don’t know why,” you sniff.

“It’s because you’re not used to Jungkook not expressing himself, that’s why,” he states. “He always wears his heart on his sleeves, unafraid to speak his mind. He may be unhinged sometimes but it’s because he always keeps the door open - for you to read him, to comfort him… It’s just not the case right now. And that’s hurting you, too.”

“Why… why is he keeping me out this time?” You wonder, your voice shaking.

“Maybe he’s not yet ready to talk about it. But if it’s bothering you that much, then assert yourself and don’t give him a choice,” he advises. “___, my brother loves you beyond I or even he can express. He won’t be able to resist you. But maybe he’s also just used to you being the one keeping things in and him being the assertive one. But you have to fight for him, too, you know? Face the issue and talk to him. I told him the same thing but he just shrugged. So if it’s not him then it should be you. You have to. I’m sure you miss him just as much as he misses you.”

“I miss him a lot,” you pout. “I miss him so much.”

“Then do something about it.”

When Junghyun advised you to do something about missing your husband, perhaps he wasn’t thinking of you going to the office with a surprise lunch for Jungkook. You recall him saying this morning that he was just gonna have a meeting in the morning and then stay in the office to work on reports.

You walk in the reception area outside his room, beef noodle soup in hand, and ask his secretary if he can be disturbed.

“Oh, he’s still in a meeting, Mrs. Jeon,” So-hee informs you. “It was extended so Mr. Jeon and Ms. Wong decided to have lunch. He did say they’re almost done some time ago so—”

A woman and a man’s joint laughter interrupts her, and your husband and his companion - an investor for his project - walk in, clearly still enjoying their conversation. You’re thankful you at least get to hear his laugh and his excited voice this time. There’s that boyish smile you miss, too.

“___, hey,” he calls you worriedly and walks up to you. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes, honey. I just wanted to, uh,” you respond, looking at the meal you brought. “I thought you haven’t had lunch yet so I got you something but you can uh… I guess I’ll just take this home and—”

“No, I’ll take it,” he says, taking the bag from your hands. “I just have to give something to Ms. Wong and I’ll get back to you, okay?”

You nod in reply and smile at the woman who greets you. You watch them walk to his room and from the half opened door, you see him go through some documents that he gives to her. She walks out and bows at you, and that’s what you hear Jungkook call your name.

He’s leaning on his desk facing the door when you enter, his smile with less vigor this time. You had planned on checking up on him, stupidly thinking you’d have an opening to ask how he’s feeling. Clearly, this isn’t the time nor place to be talking about something so personal, but after speaking with Junghyun earlier, you just had this urge to see your husband, comfort him in some way, and seek his affirmation about the both of you.

“The soup smells good, but we just had lunch, I’m sorry,” he says. “I’ll have this for snacks, I promise.”

“It’s okay, Kook. No need to force it,” you smile.

“Fuck, you came here to surprise me with lunch and I’m not even eating it,” he sighs. “And Father called for another meeting in a bit and I—”

“Hey, don’t worry about it,” you assure him. “I just thought of dropping by uninvited and I didn’t expect you to be free. I just wanted to see you, that’s all. But I’ll go and prepare for my afternoon class.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, Kook,” you force a smile.

Jungkook takes the container out of the bag and that’s when he sees it - a napkin doodle of a man, perhaps him, kissing a woman, perhaps you, on the forehead.

Something he’s learned about you is that you skirt around conversations when you’re afraid or uncomfortable to have them. He’d long figured out that you’re not as expressive with words as you are with your art. You’d said once that you don’t “keep emotions in” or bottle them inside because you don’t want to talk about or face them; you just express them in other ways, like through painting or doodles - brush strokes and curved lines of feelings that you can’t verbalize, sometimes because you can’t find the words and other times, because words aren’t enough.

He sees beyond the unsure smile and the way you’re clasping your hands together. And right as you say goodbye and turn around to pull open the door, he puts his hand over yours and pushes it close again.

“You didn’t just come here to bring me lunch,” he says softly, seeing right through you. “You wanted to tell me something.”

Trapped between him and the door, you turn your head and look up to face him. You want to say that while yes, you wanted to talk, it’s also not the right time. You want to say that it can wait tonight, that you’ll be okay, that he should focus on his work and not worry about you.

But you let yourself be selfish, brave, unhinged.

“You feel distant, Kook,” you finally say, voice like a whisper. “I want to reach out but I don’t know how.”

The sight before him is one that breaks his heart, perhaps more than seeing you in tears. Your eyes are glassy, clearly on the brink of crying, and your lips are quivering; you have to nibble and bite them to stop. This hurts him more because he knows you’re holding yourself back, and when you finally let go and let it all out, it’ll probably be when you’re back home, alone, where he can’t comfort you, hold you.

“I…” he starts, on the brink of losing it, too. “I know, and I’m so sorry.”

There’s a beat of silence where you just look at each other, and it’s Jungkook who looks away first.

“I kept it all in last week because you were the one who needed care and attention,” he continues. “And I just couldn’t hold it back anymore that’s why that night happened, and I’m so sorry for that, too.”

You shake your head no but he counters, saying that he shouldn’t have said things the way he did, that he knows he could’ve talked to you more calmly.

“But I just… I’m left with so many feelings that I don’t know how to deal with. I’m not used to this much, and this intense, nor this contradicting.”

He covers his eyes with his hand, and much as you want to hug him and make the pain go away, somehow you know that you have to swim through this - face all this, and you can only do that with that distance in between the two of you.

“It was the secrets, the worry, the concern over how we’re gonna move forward without hurting each other even more… and then that guilt over what I said, and you, taking it to heart.”

“What do you mean?” You ask.

“You said that maybe you aren’t ready for a family,” he recalls. “Because I said you can’t communicate well with me and I—”

“Kook, hey, that’s not on you,” you interject, rushing towards him now and taking his hands in yours. “I know that I have to learn to be better and that’s part of us preparing to become parents, like what we said we’d do.”

“Yes, but you didn’t think of that until I said something,” he counters. “It’s just like you pausing on doing your own pieces for exhibitions - your dream - so you could keep your job at the firm and continue teaching the kids. And now, you want to pause from becoming a mother, too. You’re holding out on things and I just… I hate myself for that, for making you doubtful. For not knowing how to ease your pain. But I’m also upset with you for hiding things from me, for conceding all the time, and for hurting me. But I also hurt you and I… fuck, it’s just a lot. And I don’t know what to do. You’re who I run to about everything but suddenly, I find it difficult to do that.”

Jungkook is heaving by the time he finishes. It’s a lot to take in for you, too.

Your thoughts crumble when So-hee knocks on the door, informing your husband that the meeting his father called for is starting already, and they need him there right now.

“I’m coming,” he calls out, then turns to you. “I’ve been distant because I don’t want to unload this all on you. Because I want to protect you from all this,” he adds, pointing to his heart. “I just… I guess I just need more time. I’m sorry.”

Another female voice echoes from the other side of the door, the tapping much louder and more firm this time.

“Mr. Jeon, please don’t make your father wait,” the elder’s secretary says. “He has a flight to New York in a few hours. He asks that you be in the boardroom in 5 minutes, no more.”

“Alright, I’ll be there,” he groans, looking at you apologetically. “I have to go, but I’ll see you at home, okay?”

“Of course,” you huff, knowing you don’t have a choice but to let him go. “I’ll see you.”

And just like your drawing, he pulls you close and kisses your forehead.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, before opening the door and running to the elevator.

You release a deep breath and wipe the tears that immediately flowed once he left.

You ground yourself in Jungkook’s office, looking around and taking it all in - the lavender oil from the humidifier that he got because it’s your favorite scent, the painting behind his chair that you made, the framed photos of both of you during your trips that were taken.

There’s a lot of you in here, and it’s the most comfort you’ve received other than Junghyun’s hug earlier.

“We’ll fix this,” you comfort yourself this time. “We’re gonna be okay.”

Jungkook’s father’s urgent meeting turned out to be the introduction to what would become a full day one. There are several things to iron out in their different offices. The directors currently in Japan will meet with the team there, which means that both Jeon sons will have to go to Busan to troubleshoot and regroup.

Plans were constantly drawn up. Dinner was eaten during the discussions, and it’s not until 10PM when it ended and Jungkook was able to leave the office. He still had to take urgent calls during the ride home, and that caused him to enter your loft at 11, only to see you curled under a light blanket on the couch, asleep.

You were waiting for him, he sighs to himself. You’d come to his office earlier because you wanted to see him, talk to him, and you waited only to be let down that he hadn’t come home early enough. And now, he has to leave early the next day for a trip until the end of the week.

While that would mean alone time for him to regroup as well, it also means keeping the earlier conversation in limbo. There’s more to say but there aren’t resolutions to what was said. And you have to process what he did get to say on your own and do it all alone.

Like clockwork, given the numerous times you waited for him to come home only for you to fall asleep, Jungkook takes you in his arms. Flushed against his chest, you shift and make yourself comfortable in his hold, merely mumbling his name when you feel like you’re moving.

He lays you in bed and tucks you in, removing the strands of hair from your face so he can see you clearly. There’s a tinge of sadness even when you’re asleep, and he wants to be able to wipe that away.

After Jungkook has washed up, he lies next to you who has now moved to face his side on the bed. He kisses your forehead and he lingers.

“We’ll fix this,” he whispers, “I promise.”

Jungkook settles on leaving a note on your bedside about needing to travel to Busan early that Wednesday. He sends you a message about staying until Saturday for meetings and site visits, ending with an apology and an assurance that you’ll talk when he gets back.

You reply by lunchtime, and you’re never up that late, so he assumes that you sat on his message for a while before acknowledging it.

It’s okay, Kook, your text reads. Don’t forget to get some rest and I’ll see you in a few days. I love you.

Jungkook reads it over and over again, mad at himself for not feeling like returning your words of affection when it used to be a reflex for him. He loves you, obviously, but he feels hypocritical to be saying it when he’s being the way he is. He lingers when he exits to his Home Screen then sighs after looking at your smiling face for a little bit before locking his phone.

“Not gonna call her?” Junghyun asks from next to him.

They decided to just take one car so they can attend meetings together and discuss their action steps during the 4-hour drive to Busan. It was a long trip and they’re on the way to the office after a lunch meeting with an investor.

“Nah, we’ll probably just say the same things. Except, it’ll be awkward,” Jungkook sighs again.

There’s a beat of silence before Junghyun speaks. “I saw her yesterday, you know? I was in the area and we had coffee.” Jungkook nods, so the older man continues. “It’s a lot for her, too. She’s not used to being on this side of it - clueless, unsure, insecure. She’s scared, Kook. She’s scared that she’s doing this all wrong.”

“I’m scared, too,” the younger man finally says. “And confused, and worried. And I miss her so much. But I couldn’t even fucking text her that I love her back because I feel like I’m lying to her. I yelled at her, said shit I shouldn’t have, made her upset, spent days away from her… all that on top of being angry and disappointed over what happened.”

Junghyun has known that his little brother thrives on clarity, on rules and standards that he’s set up for himself. He hates being told what to do, and in the instances when he’s unsure about things, he figures things out and sticks by what he’s come to know, whether it’s by looking at the world around him or experiencing them by himself. Love, it seems, is something he’s come to understand through the former.

“You know, the feeling or emotion of love is actually just a part of love. It’s not love itself,” Junghyun says. “Being upset with her, missing her, worrying about her, not feeling like being around her… that’s part of love, too. I shouldn’t be spelling this to you anymore because I’m sure you know it already but love isn’t just what you feel for someone, it’s something you share with them. So all the fun, happy stuff and the not so good ones? You share those with her as well.”

“For the longest time, I just kept thinking that things are supposed to be effortless, especially between us,” Jungkook now says. “Considering how we started, I felt like the beginning was the hardest part, and it was only because I didn’t love her then yet. And now I do, so much, but then I still feel all this.”

“Remember the time some years ago when Yeri and I fought?” Junghyun asks. “I mentioned it in passing because it was really getting to me; I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. We slept in separate rooms for an entire week.”

“Seriously?” Jungkook exclaims. “You’re both the chillest people I know. I didn’t think you’d fight bad enough to an extent that you’d sleep separately.”

“Well, the ‘chillest’ people lose their cool sometimes. Work was driving me up a wall, she was an overworked resident at the hospital… we said things we shouldn’t have and then we stopped saying anything to each other after that,” Junghyun narrates. “We just wanted to be alone. So I slept in the guest room for a week but everyday, I drew her a bath the way she wanted so she could relax once she got home. And every morning, she prepared me a snack box because I was doing field visits everyday. Sure, we were going through our own shit, we didn’t feel like talking, couldn’t stand each other at some point. But the love didn’t stop, nor paused or decreased. It was just… there, expressed differently. And I just knew, after we made up, that I could never love any other person the way I love her, and I knew she felt the same about me.”

“So things really work that way, huh? I feel so fucking naive,” Jungkook chuckles. “I guess I was stuck on the honeymoon phase we’ve been on for years. It was easy to not be upset or angry with her over trivial things. And then when it got serious, I guess I freaked out. I didn’t think I could feel this towards her.”

“Well, those things really happen, especially as you go through married life and then family life. You love ___ so much but it hurts, I get that,” Junghyun adds. “It’s cliche because it’s true. And this isn’t the toxic shit - it’s just how healthy relationships actually are. There’s an unbelievable level of trust and faith to be able to admit that the person you love hurt you, but you still love them with your whole being despite that. It may seem confusing to you but it’s normal, and as long as it’s not constant and you actually grow and be better after, it’s actually good.”

Perhaps it’s the idealist in him. Maybe it’s being a rookie in love, Jungkook thinks, that’s why he had such high standards when it came to your relationship, thinking that fights could easily be resolved and that negative feelings would immediately go away.

He nods and takes his older brother’s words in. There’s a reason Jungkook always ran to him - wise beyond his years and able to just take everything in, reflect on them, then use them to be better.

Their time alone is cut short when they arrive at the office, and nothing about the issue is mentioned again for the rest of the day. Jungkook spends the evening in his hotel room with his 5th cup of coffee and his eyes glued to his laptop screen until you message at 10PM that you’re off to bed.

He thinks back to what his brother had said and how love, at times like this, can be expressed in different ways. He picks up the phone and makes a call.

Jungkook used to like drawing flowers. You didn’t buy into the tough and reckless guy act when you were younger since you knew about the kid who drew carnations and peonies and freesias during class. You remember receiving a card from an unnamed sender one time, and then crying when you lost it a year later.

Ever since you got married, he’s gone past the secret drawings to giving you actual flowers whenever he can. He knows you like them fresh to be placed in your hand painted vases around your apartment, and he’s told you several times that he likes seeing your smile whenever you receive them.

You wish he could see the one you have on right now, as you gaze at the bouquet of peonies and irises that just got delivered to your apartment that Thursday morning. There’s no dedication on it, and you take it as Jungkook not knowing what to say but wanting to tell you that he loves you, or that he misses you, or that he can’t wait to come home. You hope it’s all of those things.

You send him a photo of them placed in a vase on your bedside table with a message of thanks.

They’re pretty. I’m glad you like them, he replies. We have a full day of risk assessment planning and stuff. I’ll call you when I can.

Your smile only drops a little at the latter part of the text, but you can’t really complain. He’s been managing his team from home the past week because of you and now, he needs to focus on them completely. And given how you both left the conversation from the other night unfinished, you suppose that he’s not ready to deal with the tension again, so you let it go.

Minhyuk’s coming over for lunch then he’ll take me to work, you message back. And I’ll have dinner with the girls. Will also go to Soyeon’s place tomorrow to hang out with the twins.

You want to let him know that you won’t be alone for the next 2 days in case he’s wondering. You think he doesn’t want to nag but you want to relieve him of that worry, so you update him first.

Okay, good. You take care, he responds, sounding serious and unfamiliar. You’d figured that he’s like that when he doesn’t know what to say, especially as he fails to call that day and instead settles with an apology for their extended meeting.

The next morning, you receive a pastry and dessert spread in time for breakfast - mini croissants, egg custards, macarons, eclairs, and chocolate-coated strawberries.

Something to keep you company while I’m away, the card reads.

He’s always spoiled you with flowers and desserts, and they’re most special when they’re a surprise and when you’re missing him like this. You feel a mix of emotions as you eat them - you’re happy that he’s telling you he loves you by giving you the things you love, but you also can’t help but think that he’s doing so because he can’t say it, something you’re not used to because he says it everyday and every chance he gets.

It’s how love is in a relationship like this, you think - there’s no one way to feel it, there’s no one way to show it. But one way isn’t better than the rest; sometimes we just do and say what we can.

“So, flowers and desserts, huh?” Junghyun asks from next to Jungkook in the car. “Is that like drawing a bath or preparing a snack box?”

“She told you?”

“Yeah, to tell me that they made her week,” Junghyun smiles. “Which means… you haven’t called her yet.”

“Work’s driving me nuts and Father won’t get off my ass,” Jungkook reasons. “I’m irritable and I don’t want to unload on her.”

“That all?” The old man arches an eyebrow.

There’s a beat of silence before Jungkook responds. “I’m being petty. If she thinks that work is the most important thing for me, then my focus will be on that.”

“Seriously, Kook?” Junghyun scoffs. “Of course that’s not what she thinks. And right, real petty of you. So many times before when Father’s on our ass, you wouldn’t shut up about wanting to go home to your wife because being next to her makes you forget about all your problems.”

“Yeah, and I still stand by that,” Jungkook replies, his eyes going soft at the idea of being in your arms. His heart aches at the thought, though, because he can’t seem to get over his own reasons for being upset with you even if all that he wants to do is hold and kiss you. “But I just feel like I haven’t gotten over what happened. I mean, I’m sort of over the fear. She updates me everyday about how she’s feeling and that appeases me because then I know she’s open about it, even if I know it’s partly out of guilt. The rest… I don’t know, I’ve been sort of avoiding processing them.”

“Okay, so there are a lot of thoughts and feelings,” Junghyun responds, knowing that the hour-long trip to one of the work sites this Friday afternoon is enough to help his younger brother make sense of things. “So then let's go through each one. What exactly made you so upset that first time?”

“I guess it was just the thought that I wouldn’t put her first - that she’d keep things from me so I won’t worry, even if it’s at her expense. And that she wouldn’t put me first - that much as she’s who I run to for everything, it’s not the same with her. I think those hurt the most.”

Junghyun rests on the idea. Being the one person who knows you both so well, he can’t disagree more.

“But you think of it differently. You approach things differently, Kook,” he starts.” That’s how she shows her love - trying to make things easy for you in whatever way, and then that’s how you show your love - running to her, giving her all your attention. They’re different but it doesn’t mean they’re wrong, it just means that there are other ways to love people, that there are ways we put people first. That’s yours, and that’s hers.”

Jungkook’s face relaxes and a small pout forms on his face, so Junghyun continues.

“Don’t you see? Loving each other means you get to show each other that. That maybe, the instances where she brushes things off is her way of saying that she puts your comfort and peace of mind first, and the way you tell her every little thing is your way of showing that you want her involved in every little thing about your day. And both are totally fine, you just have to talk about it. And I know this has been incredibly hard for you but trust me - once you’ve talked about it, things will feel lighter. They’ll only get better from here.”

“But I can’t let her just brush things off if it’s about her health,” Jungkook counters. “You know that. I can’t let her think that it’s okay because it isn’t.”

“I know, and I think she’s realized that. I understand the frustration when it comes to her. Trust me, I’ve seen it,” the older man responds. “But that’s what you get from someone who’s wanted to stay out of the spotlight her whole life because she’d seen the challenges people went through for her, just to make sure she’s safe. She’s not a burden, we know that. But you get to show her that; that worrying about her doesn’t mean she’s a burden, that any difficulty on her end isn’t a burden. That any time she expresses what she feels isn’t a burden. Listen to her. If she says she’s fine, show her that you believe her. Show her that she can be honest without the consequences.”

Like a loose screw that’s finally been fixed, it all makes sense to Jungkook. Maybe it’s after yesterday’s conversation and the time he took for a bath last night that allowed him to think. Maybe it was imagining your smile in receiving the flowers and desserts and wanting so badly to see it. Or maybe it’s because it’s his brother, and Junghyun is the only person who knows you as well as he knows Jungkook, and that makes all the difference.

“You know her so well, don’t you?” Jungkook says now with a small smile, feeling much lighter than he did minutes ago. “I… I know there’s still a lot to learn about her and about me in relation to her. I guess I never really looked at it that way.”

“You were the rowdy kid who was always so hard to control, and it was easy to notice her discomfort around people while you had all the attention,” Junghyun chuckles. “I just learned to not panic when she’d talk to me, to not act like I know better, to not speak over what she’s feeling or what she thinks she needs. I never thought it was my place - I’m not her brother nor her best friend - and then I realized that’s exactly the person she needed me to be. She’s so much more than her sickness, you know that. So don’t let it be the thing that keeps you both apart.”

“I won’t,” Jungkook huffs. “Fuck it, I won’t.”

“Did the kids tire you?” Soyeon asks as she drives off from their place to drop you off at yours. “Sorry, I just needed someone to hang with them while I had my meeting. I hope it was okay.”

“Are you kidding me? I love spending time with the twins and see just how much they take after you,” you state. “I mean, we played house and I was the babysitter while Sunghoon was the gardener and Soojin was ‘working from home’ while talking to her ‘husband who’s on a business trip’ over the phone like… she was calling him sweetheart and stuff and it was so adorable but also kinda scary. I wouldn’t wanna cross that child. She’s feisty.”

“Yeah, Min-jun said to soften a little bit in front of them but I said that was his job,” your sister responds. “But they love me, said they wouldn’t change anything about me. They’re sweet, those rascals.”

“I think it has a lot to do with seeing Min-jun take all of you in and love you the way he does. It’s beautiful to see,” you smile. “But uh, does Soojin really have a husband who’s on a business trip or is she just copying that line from you?”

“Ah, her brother said she has a crush on this kid who’s on a vacation abroad and that was just her pretending. You know, normal kid stuff,” Soyeon laughs.

“How is that normal? Were we play-pretending or have husbands at that age?” You exclaim.

“Yeah, we did. I mean, didn’t our parents drill into our minds that we had to have a family when we got older?” She rolls her eyes playfully. “It was just how our world always worked. I know I pretended Joon-ki was mine and you pretended yours was Jungkook. That was so cute.”

“What?!” You exclaim at what is clearly news to you. “I’ve never heard this story.”

“I just remembered it! You were around the twins’ age and we were playing house in the garden. We told you to call your husband and you whisper-yelled ‘Kookie,’” she narrates, her eyes growing with affection at the memory. “Oh my god, it's so clear to me again. That was the cutest thing! I asked Junghyun if Kook was minding you already and being sweet and he said no, but that he saw his brother drawing some flowers and then you told Junghyun that someone left you a drawing of flowers under your desk. He told us and we all got so giddy.”

Junghyun was the only person you told about that, and you didn’t know he shared it with anyone else. In the minds of pre-teens, which he and your sister and brother were then, perhaps it was something worth gushing over. In your innocent mind, you thought it was sweet, even if little Jungkook barely spoke to you during those times. You remember the older Jeon telling you that his little brother is like that - even if at times he seems aloof or distant, there’s a caring and sweet boy underneath, and it was something that always stuck with you.

Perhaps he never outgrew that side of him. Even if you broke his heart by keeping things from him - like when 4-year old you didn’t want to play in the playground - he’s still that same boy who’d send you flowers despite not wanting to talk to you. A small smile forms on your face at the thought.

You and your sister spend the rest of the car ride talking about the games you played and growing up with the Jeons until you reach your place. You bid her goodbye and head straight to the bathroom, choosing a fresh scent for your bath to remind you of Jungkook.

It’s 9PM by the time you get to bed, wanting nothing more than to fall asleep immediately so you could wake up to Saturday, and that means finally having your husband back.

Recalling your growing up years gave you that warm feeling, especially as you thought back to how you and Jungkook just always circled around each other but never close enough to be anything more than childhood friends. There was always something special though, and now you’re both here, married and as in love as any 2 people can get. Even if that means spending days apart and not getting to hear his voice.

Right on cue, your phone rings and your heart leaps when his face shows up on your screen. He hasn’t called in days; Junghyun has said enough of all the meetings and troubleshooting that their father has been making them do, and it’s been hard to focus on anything else. He’s always been more graceful under pressure though, so he’s where you get your news about your husband from.

But Jungkook video calling you is more than enough now. He’s still in his work attire with the hotel room in the background, so you think he just got back from dinner. His eyes look tired, and you can tell all he wants is to lay in bed and sleep.

Seeing him somehow hits you more than you imagined. There’s this incredible amount of love you feel for this man that you can’t even properly verbalize. Brush strokes and drawings don’t even seem to be enough sometimes, which is how you prefer to express things to him.

At these moments when you’re overwhelmed with what you feel, whether it’s adoration or apology, you just want to hold him, feel him against your skin and trace his body with your fingers and hands and everything else. You want to map out his entirety with your lips. You want to look in his eyes so he can see the things you can’t say.

You miss him so much you can cry. And you almost do.

You adjust yourself on the bed so you can wipe away your lone tear. “Hey, honey. How are you?” You greet.

“Hey. Just came from another dinner meeting,” he replies. “Sorry I got to call just now. Going to bed already?

“No worries, Kook,” you smile. “And yeah. I want to sleep right away so I can wake up to you here tomorrow. Needy wife things,” you joke. “What time do you get back?”

“Oh, we have that investor’s meeting in the morning so probably around after lunch?” He replies, not missing the way your face falls a little.

“Alright. I’ll keep myself busy in the morning, then.”

You nibble your lips to keep yourself from crying. The thought of waiting for more than 12 more hours before seeing him is making your heart ache, but you know it’s better than another day away. You just have to be patient, you think to yourself. Then you’ll apologize for whatever else you need to apologize for and resolve whatever else is keeping you both from going back to how things were before. You want him so badly, but all you do is hug the pillow - his pillow - tightly and imagine it’s him.

“Okay,” he says softly. He lingers, as he just looks at you without saying anything else. “Now get some rest.”

“Okay,” you whisper back, savoring the way he looks. It’s as if time is suspended and you’re just gazing at each other.

He speaks first. “Goodnight, babe. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight,” you answer, your voice getting stuck in your throat. You hope he doesn’t notice how close you are to losing it.

You drop the call and let yourself cry on his pillow, his scent filling the space and giving you the comfort that you need. He’ll be home, you remind yourself. He’ll be home soon.

At a 23rd floor hotel room in Busan, Jungkook stares at his Home Screen photo of you. He’d seen you nibble your lips and dig your face on the pillow. You were close to crying again and he didn’t want to ask what happened, knowing that it might just prompt you to actually cry and he wouldn’t be there to comfort you.

But then again, you’re probably crying now and he still isn’t there. This is what hurts him more - knowing that you’re all alone when you’re letting yourself go.

He doesn’t want another night of this - of you alone, of him holding back and missing you so badly. And like that string that constantly tugs on his heart to do something, he follows.

Jungkook calls his brother. “Move tomorrow’s meeting to lunch. I’m driving home tonight.”

The drive back to Seoul on a Friday night isn’t the best for someone who’s rushing to get home to his wife, but Jungkook still tries his best by speeding when he can and taking all the shortcuts he knows. It’s almost 1AM by the time he arrives, and he takes a deep breath as he opens the front door, knowing that he has to be as quiet as possible so as not to scare you, even if he wants to run up to your bedroom and kiss you crazy.

This whole week has been such a roller coaster of emotions for him, and from his brother’s words, to the call with you earlier, and all the moments in between, he’s left at the top - full of love and affection for you and he just wants to be able to tell you, show you.

Junghyun didn’t ask any more questions after the call; he just knew, and it’s the kind of support that Jungkook is grateful for.

He tiptoes up the stairs and turns on his bedside lamp, spotting the flowers that he sent the other day on your night table. You’re lying comfortably, sleeping soundly, wearing one of his loose university shirts. You’re on your side, your leg and arm around his pillow, and he smiles to himself; that’s how he sleeps when you’re away, too.

He whispers your name. “Hey, babe. I’m here. I came home early. Can you wake up for me?”

He repeats the words a few more times before your eyes slowly open.

You blink repeatedly as if to make sense of what you’re seeing, and when Jungkook says hey and shows you that smile you’ve missed so much, you realize it’s real. He’s real, and he’s home.

“Kook?” You ask, sitting up, taking in the work attire you just saw on the screen hours ago. “What are you doing here? You… you have a meeting in the morning.”

“I know,” he replies, sitting on the bed to face you. “I had it moved to lunch so I can drive home tonight. So I can be with you.”

“Why?” You croak.

Your eyes are swollen, crusty. “Because I didn’t want you to cry alone.”

You’re caught off guard but you try to lie, even if you know he won’t buy it. “I… I didn’t.”

“Are you sure?”

You turn away and that’s when a tear falls, one of many that you shed this whole week, and you’re not even a crier.

But Jungkook catches it, wipes it with his thumb and then cups your cheek as he moves closer to you.

“I hate it when you cry,” he says, “even more when it’s because of me, and especially when I’m not around to hold you.”

You close your eyes and savor his touch. “I hate crying, too,” you whisper. “Please, Kook, please just hold me.”

“Baby, come here.”

He pulls you by your waist and onto his lap, and with his strength, he shifts to lean against the headboard so he can hug you even tighter. You find refuge in his neck and you take him in - his scent, his warmth, and the way his body fits so perfectly against yours. They’re what keep you from crying even harder, and both of you just sit there for a while, savoring being in each other’s arms again.

You finally pull away, wanting to see his face. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you, too, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not calling, for the things I said, for being—”

“None of that, Kook,” you interject. “You don’t have to apologize. I’m the one who does.”

“We both do,” he says. “We won’t be able to move on if you think it’s all on you. And I’m not perfect either. But it’s never just on one person. We share the burden, right? We share the responsibility, so that’s what we’ll do. I apologize and you let me, you apologize and I’ll let you. Deal?”

“Deal.”

You sit next to him on the bed with his arm still around your waist. You look at him as his free hand traces patterns on your bare thighs.

“I’m sorry for the things I said and how I said them,” he starts. “I’m sorry for not listening to you and not trusting that you’d tell me the truth. I’m sorry for being distant. I just didn’t know what to say. I had these mixed emotions, you know? I love you so much but I was so upset and I couldn’t seem to get over it. Hyung told me that it’s normal, and I guess I’m new to this, you know? Obviously being married but also…” he trails, intertwining his fingers with yours now. “Just loving someone. I’ve never done it with anyone; I’ve never truly loved anyone before you. I always copped out when it got hard and tense, so I’m sorry for letting all that affect me, for letting it affect us.”

“Okay, Kook,” you reply, your eyes softening at his words. You kiss his hand before you speak.

“And I’m sorry for keeping things from you, for not trusting you enough that you’d put me first,” you say. “It’s just my default state, I guess, but you’re my husband and these are things that I should be most honest with you about because my sickness doesn’t just affect me, it affects you, too. I’m sorry, for sometimes not being more forward about how I feel, for letting things just fall away because I don’t like confrontations. Those things scare me but I need to be braver, more honest, more trusting.”

“Okay,” he says this time, kissing your hand as well. “I also want to apologize for what I said, about us having kids. I didn’t mean for you to take it that you’re not ready because we haven’t gotten our communication skills all figured out yet. I don’t ever want you to think that you’re not ready because of that, because of what I said. Do you still feel that way?”

“No,” you shake your head. “It was a bandaid idea, I guess, agreeing with what you said just because I believed it would help us. I thought about it more and no, I don’t mean what I said.”

“Good,” he smiles, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear and cupping your cheek. “Can we do that every time? Not dismiss what we want to apologize for and then talk about things openly? With trust and love?”

You nod, savoring the feel of him again. “And then we can kiss and make up?”

“Of course,” he smirks. “That’s the next order of business.”

He pulls you closer, capturing your lips in a searing kiss, hot and heavy, turning needy in seconds. You both sigh into it at the same time, definitely missing each other’s tastes, having been without it for days. Your tongues fight for dominance and he wins, digging deep into you before exploring further and nibbling your lips as he enjoys the playful yet desperate way you both take each other in.

It’s your turn to dominate after, pulling on the long strands of hair that frame his face, as if you want him closer than he’s physically able. You climb back on his lap, wanting nothing more than to eliminate the clothing in between. You hold onto kissing him for longer, even as you slow down once you start to lose breath, and he nudges your nose to get your attention.

“Hmm, needy wife things indeed,” he teases.

You sit up and pout. “You didn’t mind me for days. I think I deserve to be needy.”

“Baby, you don’t need a reason to be. You know I like it when you are, it makes me hard.”

You snort, shifting a bit to feel that he is, indeed, semi-hard.

“So, then is making love to your needy wife the next order of business?”

“It is, but…” he says, making you pout again, and Jungkook has to restrain himself from taking you right then and there. He knows that just like him, you want to express things through your bodies, and he wants it to be perfect. “I’ve been out all day and I smell like yakiniku because that’s what we had for dinner.”

“You smell perfect,” you shake your head, already unbuttoning his top, slowly revealing his toned chest and immediately kissing it.

“Thanks for the ego boost, babe, but seriously. I need a bath so I can be all clean and take you until we fall asleep. I’ll be quick, I promise.”

“Fine,” you sigh, facing him then getting off his lap. You know he’s right, though. His stamina would let you go on all night until you both fall asleep, and you know he likes his bath. It’s a good thing he looks best after it.

He chuckles as he gets off the bed, smirking when he sees you bite your lips the moment he undoes the rest of his buttons and removes his polo. With his messy long hair, tattooed arm, and bare torso against his black slacks, Jungkook looks like the perfect husband.

“Don’t miss me too much,” he teases, stealing another kiss before running to the bathroom.

You laugh at his antics, and much as you want him right now, you also welcome the bit of time you have to process what happened, to take everything in, and let go of all your worries.

He came home, drove 4 hours from Busan to get to you so you wouldn’t be alone, so he could apologize, so you don’t have to wait until tomorrow to see him. The way he loves you is so sure, contrary to what he may think. The way he loves you is the only way you want to be loved.

You hear the shower turn off and you call out to him. “Kook, are you done?”

“Coming!” He yells, and you feel like a giggly love struck girl as you lie on the bed.

He exits the bathroom and stands before the bed, wet hair pushed back with droplets of water still hanging on his body. He’s completely naked, and you squeeze your thighs at the heavenly sight.

“Why is this still on?” He asks as he hovers over you and tugs your - his - shirt.

“So you can take it off,” you smirk, and the way the playfulness in Jungkook’s eyes turns to pure desire is hypnotic.

His hands start on your lower legs, his fingers ghosting over the skin before he reaches the hem of your top. He grips it then pulls it over your head, taking in the sight of you bare underneath him. His eyes map your body, and you feel the shiver as they do. His effect on you is immediate, something that he feels himself once his thigh slots in between your legs and you can’t help but jerk and rub against him.

“Wet already?” He smirks.

You nod in response. “It’s been a while.”

“I know. There’s a lot of stored energy now.”

You gush over his teasing. Typical of him, including sounding like it’s a threat.

His hand moves to your cheek, cupping it before his thumb traces your lower lip, teasing you even more.

You slowly lick the tip before taking his digit in your mouth, sucking like you know he wants you to, and you can’t help but moan at the act.

“Fuck, baby,” he growls.

He retrieves his wet thumb and then uses it to trace circles on your pert nipple. You close your eyes as you feel the tension slowly build, and you can’t wait for what’s to come.

Liking your reaction, he hums, then goes ahead to attack your neck, nibbling and licking as he wishes. He knows just how to work your sensitive spot there, causing you to grind harder against his thigh. You feel it tighten, bracing itself for your beating.

Jungkook moves to your shoulder, softly kissing the skin there, and then trailing down your chest. He gazes at the tiger lily tattoo in the middle like he always does, humming once he makes it to your free breast. With his fingers on one and his mouth on the other, you feel like you could explode any minute. Once your grinding gets erratic, he slows down.

“Wait, baby. You can’t do strenuous activities, right? Is sex considered strenuous?” He furrows his brows.

“Well, that depends on the sex. I have the stamina of a normal person, I don’t know about you,” you chuckle.

“I’ll go slow, then.”

“Or… you can go however you like and I’ll tell you when it’s too much,” you counter. “Trust me?”

“Trust you,” he smiles, shifting his body now as he continues to kiss down your torso.

He feels the shivers on your skin and the way you’re panting, and he’s barely even done anything. The wet patch on your silk undies makes him hum in satisfaction, and much as he wants to tease you further, he also can’t wait himself - to taste you, to feel all of you.

Jungkook slowly removes your last piece of clothing. You meet his eyes the moment he licks a strip on your cunt, and you see that familiar look of lust and adoration.

He repeats his movement with a bit of variation each time - swirling on your bud, sucking, licking the lips, teasing your hole. You slowly get lost in the feel of his tongue on your skin, and you know you want more.

“Inside me please, Kook,” you pant, eyes closed as he now licks the back of your thighs while he thumbs your aching clit. “Want you so much.”

He removes himself from your pussy, facing you now with his slick-stained mouth and chin. He makes a show of wiping your essence off his face then licking his fingers. “Don’t want to waste it,” he always says.

Taking your cheek in his hand, he kisses you again. There’s this fervent way he does it, like he gets completely lost when his mouth is on yours. It’s messy and needy but loving just the same.

You feel his incredibly hard dick against your tummy, and you whisper once more. “Please.”

He removes himself from you and gets on his knees. He spreads out your thighs, presenting him with a view that sends shockwaves through him once more. You’re glimmering and throbbing, and he can only hope he doesn’t go too hard and hurt you in the process.

Lifting your ass a little, Jungkook puts a pillow underneath and finds the perfect angle with you elevated like this. With your legs bent on the side, he slowly makes his way in. You both watch in a daze as his cock slides perfectly inside your cunt, disappearing before he pulls back and pushes against you once more.

You feel him so deep within you, and with this angle, he’s hitting the exact spot you want him to. But as you look up at him, you see the view that makes you go absolutely feral.

His damp hair has slightly curled. It gets to his face so he combs it back. With his head tilted, you see the sight of his gorgeous neck, down to his chest and his pert nipples that you can’t wait to nibble on. Your eyes move to the line in the middle of his torso, his abs taut and so pronounced; the way his hips move shows his v-line in action, and you moan when he pushes deeper after he sees where you’re focused on.

“Like that, baby?” He smirks.

“Yes. Keep going, please.”

He follows, gripping your thighs tighter to secure your body as he pushes with more fervor this time. He tilts his head back again and bites his lower lip, clearly liking the feel of you as he mouths curses every time.

The tattoos decorating his one arm is beautiful. The colors pop out and they come to life when he moves. It’s contrasted by his other arm - fair, smooth, dotted by beauty marks. The lines that form when he flexes makes you lose it even more, and with his rough hands spreading you apart and his moans of how tight and perfect you are, the tension slowly builds until you’re reaching your peak.

“Close, Kook. I’m close.”

He heeds your call and knows exactly what to do. He removes the pillow and lays you flat on your back, your legs now flushed against your chest as Jungkook comes closer. His mouth meets yours once again as he thrusts even harder, deeper inside of you. You moan into the kiss and you’re hypnotized. There are tears in your eyes as you take all of him in, even more when his lips move to your neck, and he licks and kisses your sensitive spot that has you keening.

You rarely curse but the words echo in your head. It’s filled with him and his touch and his moans and you feel that familiar coil in your belly. You’re so close, and when your mouth opens with no sound coming out, Jungkook knows it, too. So he drags himself inside you, letting you feel all of it.

“You’re so good for me, baby. Fuck, you’re so good,” he groans. “Keep taking it, yeah?”

You moan your yes but you don’t know if any sound comes out.

Jungkook feels you tighten around his cock, so he lifts himself a little so he could fondle your breast, knowing it gets you even more going. You feel the sensation intensify, and with his movements combined, you let out a scream that accompanies your release.

It’s so good, and it feels like it’s not ending. You feel yourself get wetter and wetter, and the journey after the high feels slower.

“Kook, honey. Come for me, please,” you heave. “I want to feel your cum inside me. I want that, baby.”

Jungkook goes feral at your words, as you plead for him to empty himself inside you. So he thrusts even harder, faster, losing his rhythm as he just follows what his body wants. He’s reaching even deeper, and you pull on his hair to get him to come closer.

You know what gets him going, so you make sure your voice reaches his ears.

“You fuck me so well, baby,” you pant, knowing that the rare times you’re vulgar turns him on even more. “You feel so good inside me, so hard and so good. You’re mine, baby. And I’m yours.”

“Fuuuuck, baby. Fuck, you sound so good,” he whines. “Fuck, I’m so close.”

“Just keep going, I can take it. I can take all of you,” you moan again. “I want all of you, want to feel your hot cum inside me.”

His thrusts are sloppy, and you feel his body quivering as he nears his peak. You lick his mouth before whispering, “I love you, Kook. I love you so much.” Then you kiss him, let your tongue explore inside him, and it’s when he tightens his hold on your body that you know he’s reached it.

You feel the spurts of his essence inside you, hot and thick as he keeps going. He slows down his thrusts as he comes down, breathing heavily.

“I love you,” he whispers, meeting your eyes. There’s all the love and adoration and care that you’ve missed.

“Say it again, please,” you whisper back.

“I love you.”

“Again.”

“I love you. So much.”

You hold his gaze before you ask for the last time. “Again.”

He searches your eyes briefly before he answers once more, slowly this time. “I love you.”

You find yourself in Jungkook’s arms once again. He’d just cleaned you up and he pulled you close to him right after lying back in bed. For the past weeks of barely kissing you, he’s making up for it now, as he pecks your lips every few seconds, as if he wants to fall asleep doing exactly that.

He cradles your face in his hand, his thumb caressing your cheek and you, smiling as you savor his touch.

You’re so beautiful like this, he thinks to himself, when there’s just love and adoration in your eyes. He doesn’t think he fully deserves it after the way he’s treated you, but honesty and forgiveness are so powerful, he’s realized now. It’s how you got to face each other again; it’s how you got to bare yourselves once more and show how much you love each other way more than words.

But the way you told him to say he loves you sticks with him. So he asks.

“Did what happened make you doubt how much I love you?” He whispers. “Did I do that?”

“No, Kook,” you smile. “I just wanted to hear it. It’s been a while.”

“I’m sorry,” he pouts. “I wasn’t sure I could say it wholeheartedly when I was still upset.”

“It’s okay,” you assure him.

“No, it’s not. That’s when you need to hear it the most,” he says dejectedly. “When we aren’t in a good place, that’s when I need to tell you. That even if I’m upset and hurt, I still love you. Because I do. I know that now. And I’m sorry.”

“Okay,” you say softly. “We have to learn how to talk and say what we feel, ask space respectfully if we want it. And assure each other all the time.”

“We will,” he hums. “I… I don’t ever want to make you feel like I don’t want you. I’m so sorry for that, baby. I promise you, I won’t do that ever again.”

You nod, falling short of words. So you kiss him deeply to let him know that it’s okay, that you forgive him, and that you’ll both be alright again.

It’s a kiss that says so much more, and Jungkook knows this. He returns it just as passionately, until the moans come and both your hands travel to places, mapping out each other’s bodies once more. Your lips draw patterns on his chest, on his torso, leaving marks all over his neck.

Jungkook takes you again, much gentler this time, with nothing but soft moans and your heaving breaths echoing in your moonlit bedroom. You both keep your eyes open as you meet each other’s thrusts. You hope he sees in your eyes all the adoration and forgiveness and promises that you see in his.

Jungkook’s eyes are the prettiest you’ve ever seen.

And everyday you thank the universe that it allowed you to live long enough to see them gaze at you with so much love.

“Baby,” he calls out after settling down from both your highs. “I know you’re tired but… would you like to go to Busan with me tomorrow? It’s a long drive for a lunch meeting and I want to be with you as much as possible.”

“That sounds nice, honey,” you perk up. “I think lunch by the beach is what I need. I’ve missed the ocean so much.”

“Okay, then. We need to leave early, though. Let’s pass by your favorite cafe for take out breakfast,” he smiles.

“Okay,” you say, kissing him. “Goodnight, Kook.”

“Goodnight, baby. I love you.”

Busan at this time of the year is beautiful. There’s something about the cold air and chilly breeze from the ocean that oddly makes it feel warmer for you. It reminds you a lot about growing up - hanging by the beach while you watch the other kids play, smelling the flowers that you see, drinking warm drinks while the seagulls call out to each other.

You rarely come home but when you do, it’s nostalgic, especially as you recall a little Kookie running around, restless and always looking for something to do.

You lean against Jungkook’s chest as he sits behind you, watching the mid-afternoon sun over the water. You walked here after he dropped you off at a nearby cafe, and you’ve been glued to your book since then. Your husband had just finished his meeting and he came here right away.

“I missed home,” you say, closing your eyes to savor the surroundings. “Everything almost looks the same but we’ve changed. It’s nice to be back here.”

Jungkook hums and gets lost in his thoughts. He remembers growing up and running around the beaches, playing all the water sports he can, getting lost in the side streets, and rollerblading through the alleys.

He remembers avoiding you, although he admits the few times that he tried to get your attention secretly, quietly. It was weird then, he thinks now. You broke his heart at 4 years old when you rejected his offer to play at the playground and he thought of stopping trying to be your friend. He succeeded most of the time, but a small part of him still wanted you around somehow; a part of him wanted your attention, wanted you to know what he was doing, what he was good at - whether it’s drawing, playing soccer, or making friends.

It’s funny to think that over a decade after moving away, he’s back here as your husband. And you’re right. Not much has changed but both of you have. It’d be nice to revisit all those places of your childhood. You did mention wanting to create new memories, after all.

“We should spend a week here, then. What do you think?” He says. “I’ll negotiate with Father. Maybe spend a day or a half at the office, get some work done from home while you’re painting or something, but we can visit our grandparents, our school, the places we used to go to. What do you think?”

“Ah, I like that, Kook,” you turn to him with a smile. “Let’s come back here and make new memories.”

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