#i need this card so fucking bad MAN
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rafayelsgf · 3 months ago
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about to kay em ess WHAT THE FUCK XAVIER?????? the way he blushed when mc probably told him she liked him too (?????) AND THE CHUCKLE AND SMIRKFKWKDKKWC followed by the soft smile AND HIS RED EARS PLS I LOVE HIM
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beargregor · 2 months ago
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Chef greg delivery just for you. it's a wonder I hadn't bearified him yet, he's my fave greg too 🔪
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gays literally only want one thing (to be chopped up and eaten by a depressed man) and it's fucking disgusting
#kabukeo#something to bear in mind#other's art#limbus company#project moon#lcb gregor#r.b. sous chef gregor#namesake#i'm sorry for doing a haha funny joke reply i just like#i spent like ten minutes pacing around my house when i saw this in my inbox i'm not exaggerating#thank you for my life i love him so bad#do i need a gift art tag now i just like. i don't even know what to say#i haven't even made any actual proper posts yet i just made a silly blog i feel like i haven't done anything to earn this#to stop myself from blubbering i'm just going to respond to the tags on your rb#no problem for providing details again i think about this grown ass fucking man too god damn much but it's not a problem.#problems are only problems if you call them a problem. it's not a problem.#thank you for seeing the vision on rhino geg.#since kjh refuses to release him that just means that we can continue to acknowledge this as true and canon and there's nothing he can do#[ignore that he has a cameo in a card in game no he doesn't]#to me rosespanner is like. very much the type of guy that when you're crushing on him you try to talk to him#and then you get him to start talking about stuff he's interested in#and then before long you end up agreeing to watch something you don't care for in the slightest#solely for the purpose of having something in common to talk with him about#meanwhile he doesn't pick up on you trying to flirt with him like at all#anyway i could go on about how badly i need hex nail gregor for both bear reasons and thematic Actual reasons#but i'm pretty sure i'm about to hit the tag limit. so i'll just say thank you again for the cannibal i will treasure him forever and alway#it took me like thirty minutes to type this all out after i sat down to actually do it because i kept getting embarrassed lmao#offerings to beargregor#< gift art tag#that's it. thank you for my life once again. keep fighting the good fight soldier. we'll get this to be common fanon one day. trust.
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pilonciillo · 21 days ago
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lol didn’t think someone giving money would give me anxiety
#to the judge that’s gonna see this case next year and the lawyer that is representing it assuming the state idk how this all works#why has the person to say the least get to go a whole year without consequence? a known criminal who after stealing from me and being#released and again getting arrest now for gang violence or some shit she was let go? she maybe associated to the group that killed that boy#last year. and here i am panicking because im afraid to carry cash. im paranoid that imma go outside and my car will be missing. i’m get#panic attacks when i drive to close to that gym and tired going back but physically cannot get out of my car and i start to cry in the#parking lot. i’m not sitting at work shaking forcing myself not to cry because someone handed me cash and i’m afraid someone is going to#steal my purse again. you think that’s not a big deal and honestly i didn’t think it was until my purse was gone. my cards stolen and used.#my key missing EVERYTHING in my purse GONE. so many things in there plus the purse i had money and all that is stuff i paid for now im out#all that cash i’m out 500$ for a key replacement i stopped feeling safe leaving my house all my non replaceable things gone and everyone#spoke to me like it was my fault and had to stand their crying while adults told me not to use a gym locker ??? but in the same breath telli#telling me this isn’t the first time she’s done this she has a warrant for her arrest she’s known to steal cars i’m the problem and there’s#nothing they can do to help me. so while i cry because all the money i had lost and never got back i had to do ALL the work to call my bank#track where my cards were being spent at call the jpay line she transferred money to look up the person she cashapped money to call the#business she was actively spending money at ask the manger if she is currently there and if they could give the police all the receipts and#video of her there for them to act like the hero’s for my brother and i tracking her down while you all belittled me#FUCK YOU AND FUCK HER i can’t be fucking normal about STUPID mundane shit i’m stuck here shaking and crying and what you tell me later it’s#not a big deal? give me all the content of your car and wallet or purse or backpack take nothing out and see what you’re left with and how m#much you need to spend to drive your car again and to tow your car home let a stranger have all your cards and address and tell me you feel#safe#OH and for the gym to tell me they know about her she used to be an employee there she doesn’t have a membership so they don’t know how she#got in and they can’t help but she did steal from another girl that night and an employee last month and who knows how many more ppl like#that’s convenient you pos sounds like she has friends that still work at the gym and open the back door for her or just let her in that’s#crazy no ? and this is all alleged because when if i lost all these things i can’t speak on what did or didn’t happen that’s some crazy bull#shit anyways the towing company felt bad for me maybe because i hadn’t stopped crying they gave me the key replacement number and told me to#mention he referred me so i could get a discount and the layman felt back for me because when i called him i started to cry and when he told#me the price i cried harder so 500$ was the cheapest but pretty much my whole check#key man*#bad** LET ME FIX TAGS#allegedly all these ppl are privileged kids from a privileged background that grew up in a sheltered community and thing there’s no#consequences to their actions because of the lack of accountability from their parents who willing pay for people to look the other way
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dunmertwink · 5 months ago
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#so im gonna be a lil bitch on main for a minute#ive been offline for a while#pretty much absent from all my socials#im in a pickle financially like i have no money anywhere#my credit cards are maxxed#my bank account is negative 400 dollars#im getting 20 dollars less in disability benefits a month without a clear reason for the witholding#granted its only 20 bucks less but that still makes a huge difference when thats my ONLY source of income#AND i am moving into a new apartment which should be an exciting experience finally moving out of my parents house and on my own and all BU#even with the voucher program i would need an additional 600 to be able to afford my rent share and utilities#on top of being negative 400 dollars a month so now thats -1000#WHICH end result and the crux of this whole rant#i can no longer help#like i am fucking useless right now and people are literally dying#i have many unanswered asks from gazans right now that I cannot even help bc im so broke#it feels really bad bruv like reallybad#feels like absolute shit#and it ust feels so wrong to ask for help when others need it more#like i dont think i could do that#wtf man#is it me upset that my entire disability check goes to bills to the point where i overdraft every month? yeah sure#my art does not sell and ive tried everything! like it just DOES NOT sell#and it all kinda boils down to me not having any sort of following online#i just breached 200 followers here after 13 years on this website#most are inactive blogs from years ago so i maybe have like... 10 active followers?#whiny usamerican rant over for now#delete later
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x1uizy · 1 month ago
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starlight boys is imploding uhm
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zincbot · 1 year ago
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WWW EPISODE 19
#worlds beyond number#THE SECRET OF CONTINGENCY WITCH BOLT#AUGH SUVI AND EURSULON MAKE ME CRAZY#'knowing what steel said about spirits being impossible to control. i don't want to think the same applies to my brother'#i was seeing the parallels to port talon immediately so when suvi thought it too i aughhh#not witch bolt on eursulon i'm gonna cry#AND WHAT ABT BADGER BEING IN THE COLLECTION AT A TIME#i want eursulon to free these spirits but also the specific one that called him.. i dunno if i trust that one...#also the implication that his sister's quest might have been to find him. and where is she now#the contrast between two people he calls his sister both. each from a different world completely.#i'm so crazy about suvi rn man#worlds beyond number spoilers#in the tags#it's not the most recent episode but its a close thing#also i feel the danger frm the collector guy but i also am fully aware of the unplayed card that is ame knows his true name#man AND WHEN SUVI GOT IN HIS WAY AND EURSULON PUSHED HER ASIDE#i NEED suvi and eursulon to have a fight in the future NOT IN A BAD WAY i just think that eursulon is super not aware of suvi's fucked up#emotion swarm abt him and his actions and who he is. (see. not seeing the connection to himself when suvi that thing abt spirits who come to#the mortal world 'getting what they get')#and i think the best way for him to understand is for suvi to scream it at him#even though i Know she wouldn't do that delicately#but that's why i love her ♥️#I HAVEN'T EVEN FINISHED THE EPISODE YET SORRY I CAME HERE FROM THE WITCH BOLT CRITERIA
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tortoise-teapot · 4 months ago
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i'm like a real good writer
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nocentis · 4 months ago
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#╳┆ dayne speaking ┆◜ ooc ◞#don’t mind me just haunted by#’does it hurt? does it hurt? does it hurt?’ / ‘it hurts!’ / ‘will you change? Will you change? Will you change?’ / ‘I won’t change!’#dgmw some scenes in tg.cf were uhhh interesting! dubious even.#but of everything that happened somehow that scene was so arresting that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it#anyway. (bangs my credit card on the table) h.ualian inspired j.erza verse#or maybe I’ll just add h.ua cheng to my muse list on the mm…..#me seeing 800 yr old virgin simp supreme: yea he’s pathetic enough. I’ll take him#seriously tho. those of you who think Jellal is a simp are NOT ready for h.ua cheng’s lore#that man invented simping#man has been so sick nasty down bad for x.ie lian for so long that even I was like damnb. that’s psychotic. good for you#n then once all is revealed in that cave x.ie lian still has the nerve to twirl his hair and be like ‘do you think I’m pretty?’#x.ie lian the man that you are…….#also the armory scene towards the end where h.ua cheng is acting ‘strange’ around those bloodlust possessed swords#and basically if not literally says ‘I’m not watching you get stabbed to death 100 times AGAIN’#& f.eng xin - who comments on everything x.ie lian - is just like…. that’s certainly nothing to be concerned about#HELLO???#the fact that fx / mq will never know… im sick#xl will never tell & hey maybe for the best. he doesn’t need to relive that. but fuck man#give me angst or give me death
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knightlas · 2 years ago
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lyla... .. i love y ou.... .
#spider-man 2099#spider-man: dark genesis#sm2099#comic panels#yknow. key words. key phrases.#i do like how miguels drawn here. at least the arts p good im already so weary though#every day i read new spider-man 2099 comics#and for what? just to suffer??#idk i think. im literally not even done w the issue yet lmao#but a card system based on income and a brand new shiny 2099 avengers take and all this stuff that came around in exodus is just like.#its not so much Bad plotwise as much as it. just doesnt feel like 2099#lmao#i. augh spider-man-2o99 articulates it so much better than i am rn but like. theyre right we really dont need more 2099 reboots#like expanding on the universe? cool! what exodus and dark genesis are doin?....... um! well!#also i miss gabriel where the fuck is he. is he in here. im on page 11 if i dont see gabriel by the end i set the building on fire#im joking. but im not#plus exodus was just. i dont remember exodus past issue 1 actually#art was pretty but isnt that the one where miguel got to play side character in his own comic.#for like 2+ separate issues#i Know its the one that brought norman osborn back bc i will never know peace#i mean issue 1 was p good iirc. it. maybe i should just read exodus again#i remember seeing zero and being soooo happy because hehe my pal :) and the panel where miguel flies straight into a wall. scrunchie#i feel like every time i read a sm2099 run thats not the original i have to walk in with a hazmat suit and everything looking for parts#WAIT EXODUS. HEY WASNT EXODUS THE ANNIVERSARY ONE?? THAT MIGUEL GOT SIDELINED IN??? HIS ANNIVERSARY SERIES?????????#know im going to be upset about jax j jameson being a thing until i die#also the whole avengers 2099 thing is just. not good#i went on a whole rant in here bc im special but tumblr hates me xoxoxo#dm me if you wanna hear the why the avengers happening in 2099 is bad for the ecosystem and me personally sad face rant im gonna color#NO IM GONNA FINISHT EH COMIC. FUCK
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gilfrespecter · 2 years ago
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I wish joe and janet would get me my money faster I have Shit I Need To Do With That
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bungone · 8 days ago
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the frustration of wiping for the 6th time because a newbie doesn't know mechanics and oh my fucking god we've been here for an hour and we keep explaining this to you every. single time. vs the need to be empathetic because i too was bad at playing once
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hauntingblue · 13 days ago
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Marineford part 3 - we should all kill ourselves
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What does that haki have to do with having people drawn to him???
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If sanji were here..... tell em girl
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Oh my gooooooood...........
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KILL YOURSELF NOW!!!!!!!
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GARP WHEN I GET YOU GARP!!!!!! Garp saying there will be many things in life that you won't want to do.... this man is ruined by the marines.... he locked himself in a cage.... stop protecting old man
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This fucking page jesus christ.... garp you are going to hell....
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HIM JUST ACCEPTING IT HE IS SO DONE!!!! GARP!!!
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Whitebeard getting shot again as luffy reaches ace I can't keep doing this....
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DON'T MAKE ME SEE THIS WHEN I KNOW WHAT'S COMING YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO MEEE!!!! OH MY GOOOD I HATE THIS!!!!! What a good fucking Chapter (571) I'm killing myself tomorrow
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Everybody is so happy why am i tearing up 😭😭 ITS PAGE TWOOOOOOOO
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AAAAAAAARRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH I need to take a minute to recompose after every page someone please sedate me
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Alright. its fine really
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This is fine too. Nothing to see here of notice
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Oh my fucking god....................
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Can I be honest ace stopped to face akainu because he insulted his father (like he did when he was a child and people insulted roger which btw made him feel like he was insulted too) but then akainu starts talking about how they literally don't deserve a home bc they are pirates and that's insane. Ace was a pirate before he was born. The whole purpose of ace's journey (AND WHITEBEARD'S) has been finding a home and this man just called them both losers and scum for it. And this AFTER whitebeard sacrificed himself for ace which has been making him feel guilty ever since they all showed up. Imagine his state at the moment.
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I just will never forget his face here I think. Like after all of this he plays dirty and goes for luffy. Akainu kill yourself now.
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Like oh my god
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So the two guys with swords can kill ace but sakazuki can't.... alright man sure 👍🏻
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I'm sorry you didn't get to save me is insane. Is there anything as undoing as a little brother. Omg.
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Oh my fucking God.
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What can I even say. Fuck my life
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The faces on his hat read left to right make it looks like a happy face becomes sad but LIKE THIS ON THE PANELS IT IS THE OPPOSITE and idk if that's just like western view of it and means fuck all but it means something to me now.
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The flashback dialogue being "did you think I was dead" after he hits the ground is so insane like yes but no he isn't. He was right he is never going to die.
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In a way turning back to face akainu is ace fighting for his existence. Yes he was a pirate before he was born and he deserves a home and to be loved and happy and at the end of the day that is it and he got it and he died with a smile. He died being loved and loving luffy and that's how I cope. Goodnight forever
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The chapter is called voiceless rage.....
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OH MY GOD
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Approved comments by me
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TELL MEEEE!!!!! ODAAAAAAAAAA
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"YOU'RE NOT HIM" *BOOM SOUND EFFECT* DEAD!! DEMOLISHED!! EXECUTED!!! This is insane... also him saying "when it's [the treasure] found..." DOES THAT MEAN ROGER DIDNT FIND IT??? or am I reaching... like roger was waiting for a man to do that... that man is luffy and he will find the one piece bc roger couldn't for some reason (maybe bc he was sick???) And that's why he says the one piece is real
#whitebeard not being able to do his haki routine because of his illness so luffy does.... luffy getting energized as whitebeard gets hit...#daz bones protecting luffy bc crocodile said so... and fighting mihawk... that is so crazy why is he doing all this.... unless....#god fucking damnit luffy is so happy at ace being freed and the anime really adapted this part well i remember it so well.....#i think its very poignant that luffy never remembers buggy but when he protects him from mihawk he says thanks and i will never forget you.#ace is freed and this chapter everyone talks about marco's powers from the sbs on the comments 😭😭 YOU DONT KNOW!!!#ace's name is so cool like fire fist ace slaps but if luffy had the same he would be gum gum punch luffy#akainu is already on the chase there is no way its going to happen soon i can't believe it omg#why the fuck did i say anything what do you mean. oh my god. its been one chapter what do you mean. what the hell#ace fucking dies and we get interview with the chopper va right after 😭😭😭 i cant do this miss im sorry#and you know im not even crying i just cant believe my eyes right now. like i can but i don't you know. im just in shock#volume 59 cover having ace and luffy fighting like ace didn't just fucking die at the end of the previous volume. sick and twisted#luffy saying ace promised he wouldn't die im gonna end it all#christ whitebeard crying... garp.... and there are no batman pearls this time but the vivre card is stil insane. the flashback panels too..#and blackbeard appears i am going to go ballistic#i need whitebeard to finish blackbeard off so bad...... and i know he wont i am going up the walls#whitebeard being killed by one of his sons....... we should all kill our- BLACKBEARD#why does blackbeard kinda look like usopp whats the deal with that... even his eyelashes man....#talking tag#reading one piece#marineford
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genderkoolaid · 8 months ago
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part of the reason i love how bell hooks talks about masculinity is that she shows real compassion towards men suffering from the effects of toxic masculinity. she was conscious of how we need to unlearn the ways we talk about men + masculinity just as much as we need to unlearn the same for women + femininity. so many times ill see someone talking about toxic masculinity like (hyperbolizing here but only slightly) "these FUCKING STUPID BABY BITCHES won't MAN UP and go to a therapist!!!" and like. i get the anger. but you see feminists recreating patriarchal manhood by only promoting good behaviors through patriarchal frameworks. any use of the term "real men" is bad because it reifies the idea that manhood is a special title you must earn, and it is something possible to fail and fake. & as important as it is to promote sexual equality + the pleasure of non-cis-men, lots of people are essentially still working with the idea that men need sexual prowess to have worth but just shifting it slightly so there is more emphasis on women's pleasure. but I want cis men to think about their partners' pleasure because they care about their partners, not because they need to check a box in order to keep their man card. and don't get me started on small dick jokes– and the absolutely pitiful excuse people will use that "well, I don't believe it, but misogynistic men get upset when I say it, so it's okay!"
basically bell hooks is so fucking right. in order to create loving men we need to love men, simply for being alive, whether or not they are performing. as much as we need to actively unlearn misogyny (and we do), it's equally vital we unlearn patriarchal ways of seeing manhood. we can't just assume that taking a feminist perspective automatically means there is no work to be done there.
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synonymroll648 · 4 months ago
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IF LORE UPDATES APPLIED TO PEOPLE I WOULDVE JUST GOTTEN ONE OF MY HAPPIEST LORE UPDATES TODAY
#FUCK YEAH WE GOT MY FIRST EVER MURAL LOOKING SICK AS SHIT SO FAR#TORTUGA AS BIG AS ME AND DETAILED ENOUGH THAT STRANGERS COMPLIMENTED IT MY BELOVED#HUGE SHOUTOUT TO THE GUY DRIVING BY THAT ROLLED DOWN THEIR WINDOW AND SHOUTED “dude that’s amazing!” AS THEY PASSED#CAME OUT AS TRANS TO MY AUNT THAT IM PAINTING THE MURAL FOR AND SHE IS NOW OFFICIALLY MY FIRST BLOOD RELATIVE TO BE SUPPORTIVE OF ME OUT TH#GATE#HER ONLY THINGS WERE THAT SHE WASNT GONNA BE PERFECT ABOUT MY PRONOUNS AND THAT SHE WISHED ID COME OUT TO HER SOONER SO I WOULDNT HAVE#GOTTEN ATTACHED TO A NAME THAT I DIDNT REALIZE WAS LINKED TO MY REALLY SHITTY BIO DAD AND WANTED TO COME UP WITH A GENDER NEUTRAL NICKNAME#FOR ME THAT WOULD WORK NO MATTER WHAT I IDENTIFY AS FROM HERE ON OUT AND WORKS AROUND PEOPLE IM NOT OUT TO#AND SHE GAVE ME A CHAMORRAN NICKNAME!!!! A SIDE OF MY HERITAGE THAT I DONT GET TO CONNECT TO A TON!!! SHES GONNA CALL ME TAKKA (WE MESSED#WITH THE SPELLING OF “TOCA” A BIT TO SOUND LIKE “TALK-A” SO WE CAN MAKE JOKES ABOUT HOW I TALK A LOT IT HAS BEEN SO FUCKING FUNNY SO FAR I#LOVE IT)#AND SHES GONNA TEACH ME HOW TO MAKE KELAGUEN (A CHAMORRAN DISH) SOMETIME#AND SHE GAVE ME AN OVERSIZED SHIRT THAT BASICALLY SAYS FUCK T-MOBILE#AND TOLD ME SHE LOVED ME NO MATTER WHAT AND TOLD ME THAT SHE LOVED HOW I PRIORITIZED KINDNESS ABOVE ALL ELSE AND I GOT TO TELL HER ABOUT HO#I THINK KINDNESS AND CRUELTY ARE TRAITS BEYOND GENDER AND SEXUALITY AND THAT I WANT TO BECOME THE ADULT I NEEDED AS A KID AND THAT I NEEDED#SOMEONE KIND THAT FREELY GAVE HUGS AND TOLD A LOT OF SILLY JOKES AND WAS FORGIVING WHEN IT COUNTED AND THAT WHEN I GROW OLD WHETHER IM AN#OLD MAN OR OLD WOMAN OR OLD SOMETHING ELSE I WANNA BE A GEEZER THAT LIVES ACROSS THE STREET THAT YOU CAN PLAY CARDS WITH ANYTIME AND#SAVES YOU CHOCOLATE BECAUSE THEY KNOW YOU LIKE IT AND I WANNA BE THE TYPE OF KIND MAN LITTLE GIRLS GROW UP HOPING ARE REAL AND LABELS ARE#CLOTHES THAT SOMETIMES FIT A MONTH OR FIT FOREVER BUT WHAT MATTERS IS THAT THEYRE COMFY IN THE MOMENT AND THAT I JUST WANNA BE HAPPY AND I#LOVE PEOPLE FOR THEIR PERSONALITY AND IM WEIRD ABOUT KISSING BUT I HAVE MY PARTNERS BACK AND THAT MATTERS MORE TO US AND WERE HAPPY#AND I TOLD HER WHAT IM PLANNING ON MY NAME TO BE WHEN IM AN ADULT AND SHE LIKED MY IDEA FOR MY NEW SURNAME#AND WE SANG TO SONGS TOGETHER AND BITCHED ABOUT HER BOYFRIEND AND DID A LITTLE JIG IN THE STREET AND LAUGHED TOGETHER AND SHE WAS SO HAPPY#BECAUSE OF THE TURTLE IM PAINTING HER AND BECAUSE I TRUST HER AND IM SO HAPPY BECAUSE BOTH OF THOSE ARE WORKING OUT AND THIS EVENING WAS A#PERFECT SUMMER EVENING TO BE ALIVE. THIS MAY HAVE HAPPENED ON MY PERIOD BUT WHAT THE FUCK EVER THE GOOD OUTWEIGHS THE BAD. THERE IS BEAUTY#IN THE WORLD IF YOU KNOW WHERE TO LOOK. THERE IS BEAUTY IN BEING TRANS AND BEING SAFE WITH YOUR AUNT AND TALKING TO HER HONESTLY ABOUT YOUR#HOPES FOR THE FUTURE WITH YOUR BODY AND YOUR GENDER. THERE IS BEAUTY IN MAKING SILLY POSES WITH YOUR MURAL IN PROGRESS WITH YOUR AUNT AS TH#PHOTOGRAPHER. THERE IS BEAUTY IN LISTENING TO NOSTALGIC MUSIC WITH YOUR AUNT THAT A LOT OF PEOPLE WOULD PROBABLY MAKE FUN OF YOU FOR LIKING#THERE IS BEAUTY IN WEARING YOUR BANGS UP IN A STUPID PINEAPPLE PONYTAIL SO IT DOESNT FALL IN YOUR EYES AND WEARING CLOTHES YOU DONT CARE#ABOUT AND GRINNING AND LAUGHING AND SINGING MORE ENTHUSIASTICALLY AND GENUINELY THAN YOU HAVE IN A LONG TIME. THERE IS BEAUTY IN CLEANING#PAINT BRUSHES AND MEASURING CUPS IN HER KINDA BROKEN SINK AND MEOWING AT HER CAT AND THANKING HER FOR HELPING YOU CLEAN UP THE PAINTS SHE
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rafesweetie · 2 months ago
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in which you’re forced into having a talk with your ex-boyfriend, rafe cameron, on the boat ride to morocco.
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being a pogue and rafe cameron’s ex was not easy. although you dated shortly before he killed peterkin, and you were sure he barely even remembered your favourite colour, seeing him blatanly disrespect you and his friends, and go down a path you tried so hard to prevent him from, was hard to watch. but now he’s picked himself up since ward died. you thought you had another chance to at least be on good terms. sending flowers and a card to tanneyhill when ward died, smiling at him when you’d see him around. it didn’t work, he still hated you and your friends.
fortunately, he redeemed himself ever so slightly by volunteering to take the pogues to morocco. rafe had to find chandler groff, you guys wanted the blue crown. it was perfect.
until jj punched him, that is. he knocked him out cold. with a scolding “jj!” coming from majority of the pogues, including you, jj carries him down into the downstairs washroom and ties his wrists to a pole. they don’t trust him, which is fair. you don’t either — you shouldn’t, anyway.
rafe was down there quietly for a mere half hour until he woke up with a groan from his head hitting the ground earlier, followed up with yelling once he realizes he was stuck down there.
all touching your noses and saying ‘not it’ the minute pope suggests someone going down there to check on him, you’re the unlucky one who said it last. shutting up your protests, john b gently coaxes you downstairs, saying things like, “you used to mack on him”, “this is good, you know him”, “he won’t hurt you,” john b leaves you downstairs once you make it to the door of the bathroom. knocking gently, you timidly ask, “can i come in?”
there’s no answer. you can picture him. wrists tied, brows furrowed, eyes closed tightly as his head leans against the wall and towards the ceiling. his gorgeous stressed face. you slowly open the door, peeking your head in. “hi,” you say gently, timid around the scary and aggressive man you have the curse of calling your ex.
“…hey,” rafe says, voice rough as he shuts his eyes tight.
unsure what to say, you awkwardly stand there and stare down at him. “um, i brought asprin,”
“right, right, like i can fuckin’ swallow it. what, you gonna throw it in my mouth like a.. seal or something?” sassy, his upper lip lifts a bit as he thinks about it and isn’t very fond of the idea.
a second of silence as you figure out what to say. “…um, ill just set it down here,” you say, putting the container down beside him. “sorry about your head.”
“yeah, uh, your little boyfriend can’t control his fists, huh?”
“…not my boyfriend,” you correct softly, though you’re not sure why you feel the need to tell him that. “but no one really.. trusts you, rafe, so you kind of brought this on yourself—“
he quickly interrupts you. “bullshit. you know why that’s bullshit? because i was helping. who got you this boat, huh? me. i did. rafe. i’m the reason that you guys aren’t swimming, or some shit, to north africa. i’m being helpful and understanding, and this is what i get. you think that’s fair?” when you’re stood there in silence at his sudden raised voice, he repeats, “you think that’s fucking fair, y/n!?” he kicks a can in anger.
it’s like you’re his girlfriend again as you sit down next to him instantly instead of running. you get deja vu to the time three years ago when he was high on coke and got kicked out of the house. everyone ignored him except for you. “..um, okay, i’m gonna give you some asprin,” you say softly. “help your head. open,” you tell him, grabbing a pill as he gives you a look but opens his mouth. you pop it in his mouth and he dry swallows. “there.”
you two share a look. you don’t think it’s a bad look by any means. he looks frustrated still, but there’s an underlying gentleness in his eyes, as if he registers you’re still the same girl you were when you two were together. “…and, um, for the record, i don’t think it’s fair that you’re down here. you helped us, thats.. nice.”
the word ‘us’ when referring to you and the pogues makes him feel weird. “i don’t get why you hang out with them,” he mutters as he looks at the ground. “tried so fucking hard to keep you away from them when we were.. together.”
“i know,” you whisper, your gaze dropping as well, to his tied wrists. you feel awful. “trust me, your warnings still play in my head when i’m with them sometimes,”
“you remind me of sarah.” he says. you’re not sure what that means.
“you hate sarah,”
“nah, nah— i don’t hate her. hate who she’s turned into,” he adjusts himself. “she makes me sad. i’m sad for her, alright? she had so much potential.“ he shrugs. “but there’s no saving her. she’s in too deep,” he looks back up at you again. “i think there’s saving you, though,”
“…this is weird, rafe,”
“how?” he asks.
“because in the years we’ve been broken up, you’ve never talked to me about this. feels like it’s a… trick or something,”
“it’s not a trick,” he assures, voice still rough. “look, i’m out half a mill, i’m tied up in a bathroom, i’m probably gonna.. die or something. i got nothing to lose, may as well tell you my concern,”
“um, i appreciate it,” you say gently, unsure how to respond. “and i’m gonna go back upstairs.”
“hey— no, woah, woah, woah,” he stops you quickly. “stay. okay?”
“i should go up and help with dinner, though—“
“no, stay. i— i want you to stay, okay? i don’t wanna be down here alone, and i want you away from the pogues,”
he doesn’t wanna be alone. you feel bad for him all over again, nodding gently as you sit back down beside him. you always were so good for rafe.
you’re not sure how long you’ll be down here with him. maybe until it’s late at night and he’s asleep. so gently, after about five minutes of silence, to ease some of the tension and pass the time, you murmur a, “truth or dare?”
rafe just smiles.
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go2jail1 · 11 months ago
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Absolutely fucking tearing me up inside that I cannot draw
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