#and basically if not literally says ‘I’m not watching you get stabbed to death 100 times AGAIN’

[nocentis]

x

[edettethegreat]

Review of Romeo X Juliet (the anime adaption of Romeo and Juliet, VERY loosely based off of the original play)

Well I think it’s gonna be kinda long, so I’m gonna put a cut right here.

OK.

What it got right/ what was in there that was in the actual play:

Romeo and Juliet are from two opposing families (Montague and Capulet). They fall in love with each other. There are some other characters who also exist.  

What was in there that was NOT in the actual play:

Literally everything and anything else. This is not an exaggeration in the least bit. Juliet grows wings at some point. And maybe turns into an actual tree.

So. What’s Romeo X Juliet about?

The basic Premise:

Montague (not the whole family- just Romeo’s father) is the main antagonist. He kills out the entire Capulet family when Juliet is a child, but somehow Juliet is rescued. Juliet spends the next like 13-14 year of her life pretending to be a boy by the name of Odin to hide from Montague, and also does vigilante work, because life isn’t so good under Montague’s rule. Oh yeah, Montague’s like. The king or something. 

There are also characters from other Shakespeare plays there. And Shakespeare himself is a character. 

The Characters:

Characters who aren’t from Romeo and Juliet (but are from other Shakespeare plays):

Shakespeare himself- he’s literally just Shakespeare himself. Just chilling, watching the whole plot go down. 

Emilia- an actress in Shakespeare’s acting troupe

Regan- a servant girl working for Shakespeare’s mother’S family.

Cordelia- I think she’s like. A servant to the Capulet family? Who got away with Juliet when Montague killed them off? Anyway she’s Plot relevant. She marries Benvolio.

Ophelia- oh boy. Where do I even start. OK you know what? I’ll get to this when I get up to Escalus. Just. Scroll to where I talk about Escalus.

Petruchio- he’s pretty irrelevant- he only exists for one episode, and then he dies a tragic death

Hermione- the girl Romeo’s engaged to. 

Characters that are actually from Romeo and Juliet: 

(In the order of easiest to explain to hardest to explain)

Juliet- Ok. She’s the main character. She does vigilante work until she can’t anymore. 

Romeo- literally just Romeo. Exactly what you’d expect from Romeo. He doesn’t do anything mind blowing. I mean, he does try to kill Montague, but everyone tries to kill Montague because he’s basically a dictator.

Lady Montague- I think she went off to become a nun or something, because she didn’t like that her husband was basically a dictator who goes around murdering people. She’s nice. I liked her.

Benvolio- not the brightest guy. Really. He and his family gets exiled because his father disagreed with something Montague said. Ends up marrying Cordelia.

Mercutio- one of the antagonists, but literally the worst one. He decides to betray Romeo and join Team Antagonists because I think he wanted power or something? It wasn’t entirely clear. He then betrays his father to Montague, and Montague kills his father. Then Montague tells him that he’s totally better than Romeo and he could totally replace him as Montague’s son. So you’re probably thinking “hey that sounds a lot like that one part of Edmund’s arc”- BUT IT’S NOT- Mercutio is about 0% dedicated to any of this and is a huge coward. Then he tries to kill Romeo. That doesn’t work out. Then he kills Montague and goes mad. I don’t know why he does any of this. I don’t think he himself knows why he does any of this. Also he’s *really* annoying. (Literally just go watch it- you’ll see- he’s *so* annoying.)

Montague- OK SO. This fellow here has actually a tragic backstory that motivates his evilness. Listen to this wild ride of of a story: So. Capulet (not Juliet’s father- her grandfather or great grandfather or someone else related but not her father) had a affair with some lower class lady, and MONTAGUE WAS THE RESULT. YES. THAT’S RIGHT. I HAVE ANOTHER TRAGIC SAD LITERAL AND FIGURATIVE BASTARD TO ADD TO MY COLLECTION. Anyway. Montague just wanted to kill out the whole Capulet family as revenge. Sounds fair enough. So he gets adopted or something by the Montague family, kills out the people ahead of his until he’s the heir (I think?), and then goes on a killing spree with the Capulet family. Then he becomes. Like. An evil dictator. That lowers his coolness by a large percentage. He was pretty neat before, but I’m not so pro-evil dictators. 

Tybalt- HOLD ON. IF YOU THOUGHT MONTAGUE’S STORY WAS COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY BUT GREAT NONETHELESS, THEN BEHOLD THE STORY HERE.  Ok so. He’s introduced when he suddenly appears out of nowhere being super mysterious. Juliet was doing some vigilante work, and it looked like she was about to get caught, and he swoops in and saves the day. And Juliet’s all like “who on earth are you?” And he basically says “the name’s Tybalt- I’m loyal to the Capulet family- that’s all you gotta know”. (He might also tell her that he’s her cousin- idk). Anyway. He spends most of the time being mysterious and kinda emo, and hating Montague. Until his tragic backstory is revealed. BASICALLY. You know how I mentioned Montague was climbing the rankings in the Montague family? So at that time, the Montagues and Capulets weren’t really enemies or anything. So they hung out. And while climbing the ranks, he ended up courting a Capulet- Juliet’s mom’s sister. THAT’S RIGHT. TYBALT IS THE SON OF MONTAGUE AND A CAPULET. ANOTHER BOTH LITERAL AND FIGURATIVE BASTARD. I HAD NO IDEA THERE WOULD BE ONE, LET ALONE TWO. YOU ALL KNOW THAT’S MY FAVORITE TYPE OF CHARACTER. 

Me, when the Montague and Tybalt reveals happened:

And onto the absolute craziest change made to any character ever-

Escalus- He’s. He’s a tree. A physical tree. I’m not even kidding. I wish I was. He’s a physical magical tree, that magically sustains the world. Ophelia (remeber I said I’ll explain her when I explain Escalus?) is the magical guardian of this magical tree. The tree is sustained by the women of the Capulet family occasionally sacrificing themselves to merge with the tree or something? Towards the end of the show the world starts literally collapsing around everyone, and Ophelia is like “hey Juliet the only way to save the world is for you to sacrifice yourself and come merge with the tree. If not the everyone will literally die.”

And Juliet’s like “yeah sounds fair”. But Romeo’s like “NO! I love you! You will not merge with a tree!” 

And Ophelia’s like “um. Literally everyone will die if she doesn’t.” And Romeo’s like “But at least we’ll die together!!”. So Ophelia and Romeo fight each other and they both kill each other. Then Juliet’s like “welp since romeo’s already dead, i may as well die too.” And (I think??) merges with the tree? Also she grows wings. Anyway. That’s that. That’s the show. Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

OTHER THINGS- Mainly about Tybalt because I love him (more specifically- I love emo vigilante Tybalt, but the play version of angry rich boy Tybalt)

-When Romeo finds out that Tybalt is kinda his brother, he’s like “oh cool! You’re my brother now!” And Tybalt is like “huh. Yeah, I guess you’re right”- and from there onward they are 100% committed to being brothers. 

-There’s this one scene where Tybalt, Romeo, and Juliet all simultaneously decide “yup Im gonna go kill Motague. I have the biggest right to kill him. He’s for me to kill”. So Tybalt gets there first and is like “PLOT TWIST I’M YOUR SON!” And draws his sword. Then Romeo enters and is like “YOUR REIGN OF TYRANNY IS OVER!” And draws his sword. And then Juliet comes in and is like “I AM JULIET OF THE HOUSE OF CAPULET!”. And then Juliet decides not to kill him, because Mercy (TM). And then Mercutio comes in and stabs him, because (here’s a bit of the plot I forgot to mention) Montague sent him to hold off the rebellion (The Capulet’s team+ most of the citizens), and Mercutio epically failed. So he was like “the citizens will kill me if I go to them. And Montague will kill me if I go to him. Welp. I guess I have to kill him.” Then Mercutio goes mad. Because why not.

-Benvolio and Mercutio have literally nothing to do with each other. I don’t think they ever even speak. What 

-everyone rides around on these dragons with wings called Dragon Steeds.

-Also instead of it taking place in Verona, it takes place in Neo-Verona. A floating city miles above ground. 

-I think that’s it

[emilyofjane]

Why the Disney Princesses definitely need therapy: a Hot Take

Snow White

Losing her parents as a child and having to learn to take care of herself at a very young age (Snow White is 14 in the movie, and judging by her work ethic, she appears to at least have some experience with living independently before moving in with the 7 dwarves)

Lack of socialization due to isolation

Depression due to isolation and loneliness. This makes the whole “Someday My Prince Will Come” thing much more believable, because Snow White really isn’t in any sort of immediate danger and doesn’t need “saving” or whatever; she’s just tired of being alone and wants human companionship. (And tbh who can blame her? The poor girl’s literally talking to birds and moved in with the first group of humanoid creatures she could find ffs)

This one’s a bit of a stretch, but I’m pretty sure Snow White would also have an unhealthy fear of strangers and/or an irrational fear of being poisoned after the whole apple fiasco

Cinderella

Being raised in an abusive home environment for most (if not virtually all) of her life

The complete lack of positive social interaction throughout her life has probably led to problems with social withdrawal and isolation at some point, and I wouldn’t be surprised if she has repressed symptoms of chronic depression due to loneliness.

Her closest emotional confidants are literally two talking mice, and that just screams “My only friends are animals because their love is unconditional I’ve been invalidated and unloved by every human being in my life” (aka extreme emotional neglect)

She probably has tons of questions about her biological parents that were never answerd because, again, her stepfamily hated her, which would obviously lead to some emotional baggage

If we consider Cinderella III: A Twist in Time to be the new canon, she definitely has some unresolved PTSD from her near-death experience (the “almost getting crushed to death in the carriage because it was transforming back into a pumpkin” scene)

Aurora

Existential crisis because the three fairy godmothers basically rewrote her entire identity as “Rose” and hid the fact that she was a princess

Never knowing who her real parents were as a child, leading to emotional baggage similar to that of Cinderella and Snow White mentioned above

Either the emotional burden of having to make up for 16+ years of lost time with her biological family, or the grief of losing her biological family without ever getting the chance to know them (idk whether Aurora actually got to meet her parents by the end of the movie or if they died before she woke up, because I don’t remember exactly how much time had passed while she was in the coma)

Speaking of the spindle prick-induced magical coma (which is a really long-winded and inefficient way to kill someone honestly, idk what Melificent was thinking), Aurora also has to deal with the emotional burden of how much time has passed while she was in a coma, which would only further feed into the existential crisis and emotional trauma in bullet points 1 and 3.

(Also, off the record, but Aurora’s entire life post-movie is just a hot fucking mess and she really deserves a second movie exploring that concept imo. I know that Sleeping Beauty has already gotten a live-action villain spinoff, but the story of Aurora herself really deserves to be reexamined under a modern lens also. Aurora is easily one of the most overlooked Disney princesses and tbh she deserves more love.)

Belle (feat. the expanded lore from the live-action movie)

Witnessing her mother die from the plague in their own home

Being forceed to move from the more culturally progressive city of Paris to the unnamed “poor provential town” in the movie, where she is clearly the odd one out and is subject to gender inequality on a daily basis (in the form of being publically shamed and socially ostacized for being an educated woman)

Being regularly sexually harassed by Gaston, which is further exacerbated by the villagers and their close-mindedness. Not only is Gaston’s behavior enabled and encouraged by the villagers, but they even go so far as to idolize Gaston — as shown during his namesake song — despite his obviously predatory actions, simply because he is a cishet white man that they find conventionally attractive

Watching her father get arrested despite being 100% innocent...TWICE

Also being arrested when her father is wrongly convicted a second time, by none other than her abuser

Watching her lover — who besides her parents was the first person in her life who truly loved her and respected her intellect despite being a woman — nearly die in her arms, as well as everyone else in the castle (who ALSO respected her regardless of her gender) nearly die at the same exact time.

...And you know, Stockholm Syndrome or whatever. (But tbh, given how everyone in the castle was very kind and respectful and how the Beast was a tsundere at best, Belle would probably suffer far more from PTSD brought upon by Gaston and her previous environment than from “Stockholm Syndrome” in a castle where everyone actually treated her like a normal fucking human being. Unpopular opinion I know but as a sexual assault survivor this is literally a hill I will die on.)

Jasmine

I’ve actually never watched Aladdin all the way through, so unfortunately I can’t give a full analysis of Jasmine’s conflicts...but I have seen that gif of her saying “I am not a prize to be won” and that just screams “I’ve suffered a lifetime of female objectification and gender inequality despite my social status, and not even in the highest position of authority possible am I allowed to have a voice” and idk about you but that is really fucked up man

Ariel

PTSD from being manipulated by Ursula to give up her voice and nearly losing everything (both her previous life in the ocean and the promise of a new life on land with her love interest) because of it

Near-death experience from *vague hand gesture to whatever the fuck that was at the end of the movie*

Inevitable depression from abandoning the only home she’s ever known (the ocean) and leaving her friends and family behind

She’ll probably also need some form of behavioral therapy to help her adjust to her new home on land, whose culture is still extremely foreign to her — and maybe even additional therapy for social anxiety, given how her first 3 days of human interaction were so mortifyingly embarrassing that she’ll probably be laying wide awake at 3 AM and thinking “oh my god I can’t believe I looked Eric’s parents dead in the eyes and brushed my hair with a dinner fork” for the next 10 years.

Tiana

PTSD from literally being turned into a frog

Overworking herself to the point of near burnout, and being unable to fully live out her prime adult years because of said burnout

Constantly dealing with shitty customers, bosses, and other white-collared people disrespecting her and treating her as subhuman because of her career choice, which is unfortunately a common shared experience among restaurant workers and those who work hourly wages

Since this movie takes place in the United States presumably before the 1960’s, it’s probably safe to assume that Tiana also probably had to deal with segregation, Jim Crow laws, and other forms of racism off-screen on a daily basis, which would obviously take a toll on her mental well-being and further exacerbate the issues mentioned in #3

Grief from losing her dad, which has likely been repressed due to her workaholic tendencies denying her the ability to properly take the time to mourn

I don’t even know what to categorize the whole witch doctor shenanigans as, I just know that she and Naveen are both going to need some SERIOUS therapy after going through all that shit

Rapunzel

Being raised in an emotionally abusive and controlling environment for her entire life

Being completely isolated for 18 years with no social interaction whatsoever with anyone except her own abuser

Existential/identity crisis from discovering that she’s actually a princess, that her “mom” was actually the one who kidnapped her as a baby and tried to cut her hair, and that everything she knew about herself and the world she lived in was essentially a lie to keep her obedient to Gothel

Near-death experience (the drowning scene)

Internalized fear and mistrust in strangers — and quite possibly in people in general — due to Gothel’s lifelong warnings that people in the outside world would only want to take advantage of her

Watching the woman who raised her MERCILESSLY STAB THE ONLY OTHER PERSON SHE EVER KNEW AND LOVED IN THE GODDAMN CHEST

Watching the woman who raised her LITERALLY CRUMBLE TO DUST IN FRONT OF HER VERY EYES

WATCHING FLYNN, THE ONLY OTHER PERSON SHE EVER KNEW AND LOVED BESIDES HER GODDAMN ABUSER, FUCKING DIE RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER before she miraculously healed him

Because Flynn’s revival was such an uncanny revival that not even Rapunzel knew how she did it, she obviously thought he was gone for good...and since Gothel was gone also, there must’ve been at least a split second before she healed Flynn where, for the first time in her entire life, she was completely and utterly alone. That alone deserves to be a bullet point because holy shit

I’m not even going to get into Tangled: the Series man this list is getting too long as it is

Elsa

Losing her parents at a young age

Abandonment and isolation issues (mostly self-inflicted due to her own fear of hurting others, see #3)

Internalized fear and self-doubt of her powers — and, by extension, fear and self-doubt in herself

Guilt from nearly plunging Arendelle into an eternal winter

Guilt from almost losing her sister (twice!) due to her own direct actions

(Coinciding with #3) Guilt from isolating herself from her sister to protect her, only to nearly get her killed by the very thing she was trying to protect her from

Anxiety. Just lots and lots of general anxiety.

(Omitting Frozen 2 for Elsa because I haven’t seen it yet and this list is getting too long)

Anna

Also losing her parents at a young age

Abandonment and isolation issues, but hers are moreso due to Elsa “shutting her out” as a kid and having no one else her age in the castle to interact with

Lack of socialization in general for much of her childhood, as well as any social anxieties/lack of social knowledge and etiquette/etc. that would come with it

Abusive relationship with Hans (I know it was only one day, but holy fuck that was a trainwreck. What Hans did to Anna is a literal breeding ground for PTSD and trauma)

Coming to terms with the fact that the trolls fucking erased her memories of Elsa having ice powers and that Elsa isolated herself to protect her (and not, you know, because she hated her or something)

Leftover guilt from holding a grudge against Elsa for most of her childhood for shutting her out, because NO ONE BOTHERED TO TELL HER THAT IT WAS FOR HER OWN GOOD and she never knew why

Basically Anna and Elsa both need joint therapy or family counseling or something because holy shit their parents did NOT handle this situation properly AT ALL

(Also omitting Frozen 2 for Anna because I haven’t seen it and this list is also getting too long)

Moana

Surprisingly, Moana’s movie was relatively tame — in fact, because her tribe returned to voyaging and she is now exploring the seas/following her passion, these events were arguably beneficial to Moana’s mental health rather than detrimental. The only emotional baggage I can really imagine Moana having post-movie is leftover grief from her grandma dying and maybe the stress of having to put up with Maui’s shit

[localcactushugger]

Badass Nico Di Angelo Moments in ToN that make me Feral

spoilers under the cut for The Tower of Nero!

#1) Nico 100% wanting to help Apollo despite the fact that he's been been having horrible nightmares and PTSD flashbacks, along with hearing voices from Tatarus. He’s tired of focusing on things that he can't change so instead he focuses on tasks where he actually has control. This is very in character for Nico. Despite pain he perseveres and focuses on the mission, trying to help in anyway he can. This is even after Apollo confirmed Jasons death as well. Jason and Nico were close, and Jason was the first person who accepted him for who he really was. But Nico pushed forward anyway.  (This is one of the reasons why Reyna basically adopted Nico. He always pushes forward, despite the pain, and perseveres. Something she can relate to.)

#2) Nico stubbornly refusing to watch the original Star Wars trilogy despite the wrath of his Glow-in-the-dark boyfriend

#3) Nico getting Camp Half-Blood to make him his own black T-shirt because he simply refuses to ruin his black-and-white aesthetic

#4) Nico conveniently having a plan to use Troglodytes in the battle against Nero.  (Hey you need an undead army for the battle of Manhattan? oh yeah, the Doors of Death? I know where those are! The Athena Parthenos? I can totally carry that across the world without disintegrating into shadow! Hey Percy just swim in the River Styx DUH. seriously I never get tired of Nico finding ways to save the day.)

#5) Nico leaping across a fucking cater onto a crane and scaring the living shit out of Apollo. My boys giving his future Father-in-Law a heart attack 😂

#6) Nico saving Apollo’s ass Pt.1 by shadow traveling him and Meg away from feral death cows at the last second. 

#7) Nico saving Apollo’s ass Pt.2 by fucking turning a guard into a skeleton right before that bitch was about to stab Apollo in the chest 

#8) Nico saving Apollo’s ass Pt.3 by dragging Apollo across Neros Tower while he simultaneously cut through monsters without even slowing down or hesitating as Apollo was giggly, delirious, and injured. I'm also really glad that Apollo noted how Nico is much stronger than he looks. Nico may look like a twig at first but even Jason said at one point (was it in MoA or HoH?) that Nico had gained muscle from sword training after Tartarus. People always characterize Nico as not eating either (which is true when he's feeling really depressed) but he's gotten better at it since BoO. 

#9) Nico saving Apollo’s ass Pt.4 with his dramatic entrance. literally breaking down Neros blast doors with a fucking feral bull that he somehow turned into a skeleton. And then this dramatic bitch who is 100% sick of Neros B.S has the audacity to point to Nero and say “Kill that one”. Honestly picturing the Bull scene is hilarious to me. Imagine being seconds away from killing Apollo after years of planning, only to be interrupted by an exasperated, beat-to-shit, battle hardened, feral 15 yr old, who looks like he should be working at Hot Topic. And is he wearing a white cowboy hat?? Where did he get a bull??? The randomness and pure panic in that scene is absolutely gold. Nico Di Angelo is an agent of chaos and I live for it. 

#10) Nico fighting a group of Germani by himself in Nero throne room while his bull wreaks havoc on all those who get in its path. Bonus points for saving Apollo from that one wolf monster who was about to bite his head off (Nico saving Apollos ass Pt.5 lol. Seriously Will you need to tell your dad that Nico isn't a babysitter) 

#11) Apollo giving Nico an opening to attack Nero by shooting one of the Germani he’s locked in combat with. The second Nico gets a chance this boy doesn't hesitate. He fucking tires to cut Nero in half !!!  if Nero wasn't immortal he would’ve been done for! So when cutting Nero in half doesn’t work and Nico sword get’s grabbed and tossed across the room what does he try??? Does he back off like a normal person?? NO! HE TRIES TO STRANGLE THAT BITCH!!! 😂😂😂 This gremlin child 100% tried to strangle an immortal emperor! He said “I don't need a sword to kill you bitch, try me”. Nico Di Angelo is raw as fuck. and that only in this book. The son of Hades wakes up every morning and chooses violence. I love him.

#12) The fact that Nico is willing to go back to Tartarus, the place that left him with immeasurable trauma, just to save Bob. because he “doesn't like when people are forgotten”. (this is the boy who spent most of his life alone, who talked to Hestia when no-one else noticed her, who spent time with Bob when everyone had forgotten about him. Who always selflessly tried to help other people because he knows what it like to be miserable and in pain. Nico is such a sweetie.) 

[kinetic-elaboration]

September 17: 3x07 Day of the Dove

I am incredibly discombobulated today—usual weekend nocturnal shenanigans I guess! Anyway it’s somehow midnight. Gonna try to write up these note on the Classic episode The Day of the Dove in as efficient a manner as possible.

Hmm, a planet with wavy pink Fraggle plants. I like it already.

But where is Spock? Very suspicious.

I really appreciate Kirk giving a little speech to set up the overall question/issue for us. (I know he does this all the time with the Captain’s logs but this is out loud and so… more obviously expository.)

Oh no, it’s our old friends…the Klingons.

I will admit that this ONE TIME, the Klingon is being reasonable. Like, it is reasonable to think that Kirk and the Enterprise attacked his ship, given that his hip WAS attacked, and who else would it be?

Three years of peace between the Klingons and the Federation? That is inclusive of the show so all this tension must technically be “peace” and also implies there was something more like a direct war going on, like, right before Kirk got the captaincy.

Zoolander voice: What is this, a colony of the INVISIBLE?

“We have no devil. But we understand the habits of yours.”

No takers? No takers on the torture? No volunteers to be mercilessly tortured by the Klingons?

Star Trek Beyond could have had Kirk and Chekov bond over being brothers! I mean, to other people.

They’ll kill 100 hostages at the first sign of treachery. He does know there are only 400-some people on the ship right? Maybe you should pace yourself, Kang.

Kirk’s so badass he needs MULTIPLE guns trained on him just to use the phone.

Oh-ho secret message to Spock. Which version of the iPhone will be capable of doing THAT?

The Klingons are “suspended in transit” is an awfully nice way of saying they’re just dematerialized atoms in space. Philosophy major and/or Bones nightmare fuel.

How did Kang not see this coming, by the way? Like, he just says “I’m taking your ship now, me and my 6 men versus your 400-some men, and I’ll do this by simply declaring it to be so. Now let’s beam up to your ship, where I’ll be greatly outnumbered, and there are armed security guards all around me.” Guess he’s been reading The Secret!

WIFE AND SCIENCE OFFICER

Aka the most important part of this whole episode.

Kirk’s face is very ?????? You can have both????

It’s legitimately not even important for her to be the science officer tbqh. Like that is so gratuitous. That’s just in there to drive me insane.

"We're prisoners, somehow, after I demanded to come on the ship, assuming they'd just give it to me without any kind of fight. How DID this happen?”

Federation death camps lol—someone’s been watching Fox News.

I do kind of wonder… is this an actual rumor that goes around the Klingon homeworld or is it something that the alien entity put in her head specifically to make her angrier right now? I mean it really could be either.

I also appreciate this episode for being pretty much the only one to actually attempt to give the Klingons a reason for being as they are. The Romulans… maybe aren’t well-described, but they do have a sort of regalness to them, appropriate for being related to Vulcans, and you can kind of imagine that they are the way they are because they’re Vulcans without the intense self-control. Plus they’re literally only in 2 TOS eps and in the second, the Federation are the aggressors. But the Klingons show up a half-dozen times only to be depicted each time as just like Cartoonishly Bad, aggressive, violent, and selfish for basically no reason. And I mean, some people really are!! But TOS has so much nuance in other places, that it always seemed a little disappointing to me that the Klingons are really just like ‘well we’re just bad and we hate everyone and we really like killing I guess.” At least in this ep there’s a little more added to that: that there is poverty on their world, that they feel aggrieved, that they feel unprotected, that taking and conquering is how they look after themselves…

I think that’s later in the episode though.

He’s detaining them in the LOUNGE lol. With their favorite dishes available to them to eat. Absolutely barbarous conditions.

I can’t believe Chekov is hanging in the elevator with the cool kids. Like, one of these things really isn’t like the others.

Kang is officially sure of himself for someone currently imprisoned in the lounge, that most fearsome of Federation death camps.

Hmm, could the glittery light alien have taken over??

You know what, that's a lot of tasks for Johnson to do all by himself: search the whole ship, fix the engines, and free 400 people.

Sulu would love this: everyone gets a sword!!

“Bridge. I gotta show this to Sulu immediately.”

Klingons have maintained a dueling tradition. That’s interesting. Finally some characterization going on.

Spock is really living up to his logical nature today. Everyone else has gone off the emotional deep end and he’s like “have you considered this completely rational explanation that accounts for the actual, observed facts??”

Whoops Chekov is actually an only child. Scratch that previous Beyond headcanon. (Interesting that his dead brother does really resemble Sam though—killed on a research colony??)

Love that Sulu knows that about him though.

Oh, that’s a pretty schematic picture of the Enterprise. I want that on a t-shirt.

Lol the pan out to the armory, now filled with… swords!!

Do ALL of these men have a fetish for swords? Sulu and fencing, Spock displaying swords in his quarters, and Kirk in his San Francisco apartment, and Scotty salivating over this Scottish blade.

“Klingon units.”

Finally Sulu gets his sword! It’s what he deserves.

Love that the shiny light alien also has a fetish for swords.

Oh no, it’s our old adversary, an alien life force.

What is the alien’s purpose? Um, I’m pretty sure its purpose is to start shit.

“An appropriate choice of terms, Captain.” I don’t even remember what this is referring to but I think it’s pretty clear that Spock is enjoying himself during a crisis again.

Bones, being so dramatic. Were there atrocities? He’s talking about the Klingons as if they were literally hacking off limbs—it’s a few stab wounds here and there, chill.

Oooh, time to behave like military men—strong words. (But I thought it wasn’t the military?? @ S**** P****) (This might not even be my best argument, given the context of this episode, but I’m sticking with it.)

This is like a giant game of capture the flag.

AU that’s just about the Enterprise crew playing capture the flag with the Klingons.

Sulu in the background standing guard with his sword

Damn, turning on Spock with the slurs now!!

Spock was absolutely ready to kill him. Like he would 100% have taken him out with a blow to the head. And he’d been doing such a good job of not feeling the alien’s effects so far! Admittedly, that was a strong provocation though.

Honestly, I really like this scene. It’s uncomfortable and tense and you can really see how the alien is bringing out the worst possible influences of their respective races. And I liked how Spock was definitely full on pre-Reform Vulcan for a minute there. It was a more effective portrayal of what that might have looked like than All Our Yesterdays tbqh.

A result of… stress?

Kirk got himself out of it first. He’s so strong. He knows himself so well, he cannot be outsmarted by any alien.

“We’ve been taught to think in terms other than war.”

“The alien brings out the worst of us—patriotic drumbeating…even race hatred.”

He’s so sad; he can’t imagine thinking like that about Spock :(

Sulu in a Jeffries tube! A man of many talents. It’s okay bb, take credit for turning on the lights.

The alien must have been getting bored. The Klingons must have been doing too well, and the playing field needs to be leveled for maximum shit-stirring.

“Let’s find that alien.” That’s how I ALWAYS feel.

Oh, Kang, you’re so close—“What power supports our battle but thwarts our victory.” So, so close to getting it.

ALIEN DETECTED.

Spock takes his sword, of course.

“Jim.” Obligatory Jim moments hit differently when they’re not so obligatory.

“Jim—stop hitting my protégé. And put that sword down.”

Kirk looks so sad, picking Chekov up to carry him bridal style.

Also in addition to ‘race hatred’ I think we need to add ‘rape-y tendances’ to the bad stuff that the alien is inspiring here.

“A brief surge of racial bigotry. Most distasteful.” Spock winning for understatement of the year.

They're assuming the alien is trying to test out their relative powers but I think it just wants entertainment. I mean, doesn’t it look like a naughty little thing?

Mara’s outfit is… little shorts? Interesting. Usually not my style but she makes it work.

Spock doesn’t even look at Johnson as he falls lol. Another one bites the dust.

“It exists on the hate of others.”

What does this remind me of? Oh, the Vast of Night and the whole “aliens made us do every bad thing ever” conspiracy theory. At least this one makes more sense, in part because it is not quite so overwhelmingly broad!

All hostile attitudes must be eliminated, he says, and there's Mara right behind Kirk giving him a death stare lol.

Kang is so obviously posing. Google Earth, always taking pictures.

Only a few minutes before drifting forever in space becomes inevitable? Good thing Kirk works well under pressure.

“Well… do whatever you can, Scotty. You know the drill.” Doesn’t even bother giving real directions anymore. We’ve been in this scenario before.

“So we drift in space, with only hatred and bloodshed aboard.”

And the 392 people below just get to…live in Enterprise prison, I guess.

Star date: Armageddon. So dramatic!

I’m not even making that up; that’s an actual quote. Can you imagine being an Admiral listening to this?

“Stop the war now.” An actual line, really aired on television.

Spock wants to threaten the wife lol. That's the old pre-Reform Vulcan seeping through. Surak who?

Damn, Kang is cold. “Eh, she gets the concept of being killed in battle.” They’re gonna need marriage counseling after this.

“There is another way. Mutual trust and help.” Yes that’s my hero!!

“No one can guarantee the actions of another.” Can’t remember the context of this entirely anymore, but great line.

The entity is loving this—multi-person choreographed sword fight!!

"Those who hate and fight must stop themselves. otherwise it is not stopped.” Another baller line. Spock has a lot of deep thoughts today. And so does Kirk. And Kang.

Kirk tries to reason with the alien. Nice try.

“Shoo. Shoo, alien. Off the ship, go away.”

Omg that last moment—Kang slapping Kirk’s back way too hard, Spock’s completely ridiculous wide-eyed expression when he does, like some sort of combo of amusement and confusion, and then Sulu just passing on by in the background….

Then the alien just yeets itself into space. And that’s the end!

Always feels weird when there’s no wrap up on the bridge.

Also, what are they going to do with the Klingons? They have no ship. They really did come out of this a lot worse than Kirk and co. No ship, huge casualties—and no one to blame even, but the alien.

I feel like the alien messed up a little in killing so many Klingons. Like, it could have accomplished its purpose, angering the Klingons and turning them on Kirk, by attacking the ship a little less violently—you know they’d react to 5 deaths pretty much the same as 400, and then there would be many more people to fight forever and produce that sweet sweet anger!

Maybe the alien’s powers aren’t strong enough to influence 800 people though. Also it wants equal forces and 800 people wouldn’t fit on the Enterprise, one assumes. So it still makes sense.

That was, of course, an excellent episode. 100% agree with is classic status, even though the main things I remembered going in were the wife + science officer bit, and everyone laughing at the end in a really forced, fake way, in order to make the alien go away.

I thought the Klingons were a lot better/more interesting today than usual. First, I think Kang is a better character, or a better actor maybe, than the others; he has a certain way about him that is… more watchable, more sympathetic. And he’s always saying these really dramatic things that make it seem likely he writes patriotic Klingon war poetry in his off time. Also, including his wife made them seem more… not human obviously, but normal. Not just cardboard cut-out villains. And of course the actual lightly specific motivations I earlier mentioned helped too.

Also, the plotting was very good: it built up slowly but surely over time, so at first the alien’s influence wasn’t that obvious, and then it became more so, and then it became horrifically obvious and extreme. And then you had to re-evaluate earlier moments: was that the alien changing facts in their heads, or a real part of the animosity between humans and Klingons? And it wasn’t always clear, which I appreciated. The tension when the people were at their worst wasn’t overdone, like in that moment with Scotty, Spock, and Kirk—or even in Chekov’s assault on Mara, tbh. The various strategies of the different sides were very entertaining too; there was never a dull moment, and they fit in a lot of straight-up actions and twists into 50 minutes.

The possible threat was truly terrifying, also: stuck in a space ship, forever, unable to die, feeling the worst possible emotions all the time, besieged, angered, despairing, fighting a war that can’t be won, being injured and suffering only to recover and fight again, and it never stops… A perfect nightmare mixture of insanity and violence and pain. And the alien, in encouraging hatred and anger, doesn’t discriminate between sides: they turn on each other just as much as on the Klingons, breeding paranoia and infighting. For eternity.

The episode also felt much more strongly anti-war than I remember tbh. Like it was not subtle. Kirk literally says “stop the war” in so many words. He has a part in his speech where he talks about the possibility of other aliens out there, encouraging other wars. And while I do think “maybe the aliens are making us do it” is a cop out explanation, or would be if it were real, the scenario gave the show a lot of room to say, like, pretty ballsy things: to include “patriotic drum beating” along with “race hatred” in a list of corrupting feelings they were experiencing; to show how the same instincts that lead to warring also lead to sexual assault and the aforementioned ‘race hatred;” to reveal the true horror of an endless war by making the participants unkillable and sticking them in a singular space ship in the middle of nowhere; to imply that the combatants of war gain nothing from it, but outside or third-party entities will pull strings of their own design to profit from the conflict as long as possible; even to make an impassioned plea to camera to stop the endlessness of the conflict. Like I can’t even totally unpack this but it is a lot!

Finally, it was also a great Kirk episode, which of course is my most important factor. He’s smart; he’s strong; he’s so sure of himself and his values that he cannot be manipulated to mindless hatred, he represents the values of the Federation, and the show itself; he treats even his enemies with basic respect and humanity; and ultimately, he saves the day.

Okay I was not efficient in writing this up at all! It is very late!!

[anteaterisland]

lxc!

Oh excellent. My son, my boy, the other king of my heart. 

How I feel about this character: He lives rent-free in my head. The reason he lives rent-free, is because a-Yao lives in my heart and he’s the landlord and Xichen pays rent in sexual favors. This is what they meant when they said: my body is a battleground.

 When i finished the show for the first time I texted my best friend: 

I’ve figured out my favorite. Lan Xichen. I love all the Lans because I relate to their emotional repression and floating around in ghostly white silks, but if i had to pick, lan zhan and lan sizhui are too happy to top the list for my personal favorite. Lan Xichen is brimming with the most desolation, and therefore wins the title. When he evaporated the alcohol he won my heart. The layers of fucking humor in that kill me. (it took a few days to come to terms, as well as reading the book, before I admitted to myself that meng yao was my favorite. Lan Xichen’s a close second though.) 

All the people I ship romantically with this character: uh heheheheh, yeah. Xiyao. Xiyao alone. It makes my brain go brrrrrrrrrr. 

Like: oh boy, right after he’s stabbed in the chest, jgy is understandably miffed about it, and he’s like: I can’t believe you’ve done this, you’re the same as Mingjue after all, you put a sword in me just like he was always trying too, and I never thought you were going to do that ON ACCOUNT OF HOW Every Time Mingjue pulled a sword on me, you pulled yours to defend me, what the fuck, er-ge?

And Xichen’s like, trembling and bloody and teary and is like: I TOLD YOU NOT TO FUCKING MOVE, or I would have no choice but to stab you!!!!!! 

A-Yao: you don’t even know if I moved or not, but if you trusted me more than Huaisang you’d know I didn’t fucking move. you hypocrite

And then he’s like, well im giving you a last chance to atone yourself for me, die with me, its the least you could do. There’s something so genuinely fucked up about his arbitration of the lives that exist around him and whether they will continue or not, but critically, he commands Xichen’s death because Xichen just KILLED HIM. 

And when Xichen agrees, he’s pushed away. Mingjue died in large part because he attempted to kill jgy, and despite Xichen actually succeeding, he doesn’t die, because he was sorry about it.

 He’s so hollow after that, like, it’s legitimately crazy they have an audience for that, it’s crazy that that’s the climax of the whole fifty episode show, i don’t know how anyone can watch the untamed and not come away with a xiyao obsession. 

My non-romantic otp for this character: Lan Xichen/Devestated Seclusion. Sorry if you were hoping for a happier answer but without a-Yao, I think he’s ruined. His whole character hinges on their mutual entanglement. And as a writer, his devastation compels me. Certain events in my personal life put in the mood for writing about grief. I have a seclusion series in the works I may post soon, after gold lotus is done. 

My unpopular opinion for this character: yeah, i don’t have just one of these, but they run along a theme. 

Firstly: I can’t stand Xic//heng. Again, sorry. But I really think they wouldn’t get along at all. Not when Meng Yao is alive, and certainly not after he’s dead. People really think he just happened to be friends with a-Yao like that man wasn’t his whole life’s obsession. Like repression doesn’t make people crazy he just happens to be mild-mannered. 

Secondly: Xichen is not like, a perfect moral paragon who was horribly deceived by that snake jgy’s persona. All those times he was like: I am aware a-Yao murdered people, and I think it was fine because he had a reason and it was a good idea actually. It just doesn’t register for people. He’s always closing his eyes because he ignores the things about the world he doesn’t want to see until he can’t anymore. 

Thirdly: He’s fascinating to think about, not least because there’s nothing in the text that outright removes the possibility for the alternate reading of a Lan Xichen complicit in JGY’s crimes. Obviously, i’m not saying that’s what actually happened, but it’s a compelling exercise. Like, you know what i will never, EVER be over? Wuji sneaking up on guanyin temple at night, peeking over the walls, seeing all the jin soldiers and bein: something’s fucky, and then seeing then all bow as Zewu-jun walks stately through them, sword in hand, not looking remotely like a hostage and then looking at each other going: SOMETHING’S FUCKED! So much fun. That’s also a fic in the works, if i ever manage to finish gold lotus

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: When you think about it, we never got a single scene where Lan Xichen and Meng Yao were alone in a room together. Never once. Always they were constrained in public. And they were so melty with each other, they talked and touched so gently. When they meet, people watching, say goodbye the first time, people watching, never see them hiding in the brothel, mingjue there in qishan, giant doors open with a bunch of death row prisoners, banquet, phoenix mountain crowd hunt, banquet, 100 days invite family discussion, nightless city toast, greeting before banquet, banquet, music lesson, staircase, treasure vault, break-up, temple. Never once alone. 

Oh fucking hell. Listen, being able to rattle off every xiyao scene from the top of my head is a skill im glad to have, but i didn’t like, need to know i had it, you know? 

Anyway. They’re literally never fucking alone with each other and i’d like to see it. They’re both so repressed and polite and they love each other so much, it’s basically all i can think about, how they must have been each other’s sanctuary when they were able to be alone. 

Someone ask me to do Mingjue i’m on a roll

[sweetpaopao]

FMA 2003 (Re)Watch

I recently planned a hybrid watch of both the 2003 series and Brotherhood; the original plan was to skip over to BH at the divergence point, but I was enjoying the first part of 03 so much that I decided to keep going. I saw 03 when it aired on TV back in the day and watched BH a few years after it was released, so while both are technically rewatches, a lot of 03 was hazy. Also FYI, I was switching back and forth between sub and dub kind of randomly throughout my watch.

A bunch of random thoughts:

-The first half of 03 is done really well, and I enjoyed it a lot. I like the extra time they spent on the early arcs, and I really enjoyed the episode on the train, the one with Barry, and the one with Yoki. I did skip that one filler with the thief because I remember it being super cringe.  

-The music is good. Of course "Brothers" is the best, but I like a lot of the other tracks too.

-The origin of the Homunculi as failed transmutations is neat. It's creative, works with the established setup of alchemy, and makes the Homunculi relatable and sympathetic. They mention Lust being "the new Lust" several times, which makes me wonder how many different versions of the Sins have existed over the centuries, and what happened to each of them.  

-I like the extra screen time and development that Lust received. Though she loses points for getting "Cotton Eye Joe" stuck in my head on multiple occasions, lol  

-Al seems way younger in this version. He's supposed to be a year behind Ed, but he acts like he's 3-4 years younger. I think it's mainly the writing, but the dub voice actor might contribute to this, since it's obvious it's an actual child and not an adult doing a child's voice.  

-Sloth is 100% better in 03 than in BH, hands down. I do wish she had been given a little more development, at least as much as Lust was given, since she's so connected to the main characters. Her water powers were cool..."death by evaporation" is definitely unique.  

-On the other hand, I friggin' HATE Wrath. He's an insufferable brat, and his voice made me want to stab out my ears (no offense to either voice actor - it's the part that's the problem. It's impossible to NOT be obnoxious when 80% of your lines are screeching and/or whining). I also hate that he looks so much like Envy...character design 101 says that each character should have their own distinct look, so I can't fathom why they would make him look like Envy Jr instead of giving him his own design. At least give him different clothes? Cut his hair, or put it in a ponytail?  

-Greed had barely any part in the story at all. The poor guy was practically a "Hi and die". His death scene was one of the things I had strong memories of, but I thought it was much later, near the very end of the series (I think the library in Dante's house and the ballroom in that city merged together in my mind). The lack of Greed love was a little disappointing, since he's my favorite homunculus.  

-It's sometimes said that Winry doesn't have much of a part in this series, which honestly is wrong - she's in it a lot, just not as a love interest. I liked her espionage plotline with Sheska.  

-Sheska got way more screentime here. I don't really care all that much about her, but I can see where she would have favorite character potential for some people (or waifu potential, even). I laughed out loud at the "she's an alien" line.  

-Havoc is a shyguy and very much NOT a badass stud, lol  

-Hohenheim...uh. I absolutely hated everything they did with him. He's basically a villain, he was a creep to Ross, he looks like a drowned rat, and he literally stinks. Poor Hoho, why did they do this to you?  

-Riza also got screwed. She had that one cool manga scene where she saves Mustang by tripping him, and then proceeded to get shit on for the rest of the series. She was basically an unintelligent lump who exists to be talked down to and treated like an annoyance. And speaking of the Colonel...  

-Dear God, 03 Mustang is a DICK. I remember he was popular back in the day, so fans must have had a high douchebag tolerance then. He got so bad at points that my finger was itching to skip ahead every time he opened his mouth, and I nearly punched the screen when he told Hawkeye to "wipe that crap off your face" in that one scene. Christ. I vastly, VASTLY prefer his softer Brotherhood personality.  

-Ed is kind of a dick in this version too. They took the short-tempered hothead aspect of him and leaned on it too far, IMHO. He seems to have 100% contempt for everyone in the world except Al, who he only has 50% contempt for. I had occasionally had similar reactions to him that I had to Mustang. Again, Ed had a softer personality in BH that I strongly prefer.  

-This leads into my main complaint about the 03 series...it has a "mean streak", especially in the 2nd half. It's hard to explain, but it's like there's this undercurrent of cynicism that runs through it, and it comes out in the writing, especially in the characters. It gives me the same kind of feeling that I get from things like Game of Thrones or The Walking Dead...this uneasy atmosphere of negativity and bitterness that leaves me feeling kind of gross afterward.  

-Overall, I have mixed feelings about this series. The first half was great! I like the slower pace and the small-scale worldbuilding (I seriously want to take a train ride around Amestris), and the more intimate focus on Ed and Al at the beginning. I like that the writers took the small amount of source material that they had and developed it to its maximum potential. But once they ran out of manga to adapt, I think things slowly went downhill. My enjoyment gradually decreased episode by episode, until I was kind of relieved to reach the end.  

-I'm glad I rewatched this series, since there was a lot that I had forgotten about, and some parts brought back a lot of good memories. The first half will probably go on my regular rewatch list, but I doubt I'll ever want to revisit the 2nd half again. I appreciate the effort they put into this series, and it's definitely worth watching. But overall Brotherhood will stay as my favorite version (and I'll be rewatching that soon too).  

[scav-eng-er]

So..my thoughts on TROS

Spoilers. duh.

So..being on here, I obviously dove HEAD FIRST into the spoilers and seeing what I saw, i. was. pissed. The kiss kept me literally on cloud FUCKING 9 for a good 30 min until I went farther in and saw the fall of one of the most beloved, developed and interesting characters in the sequel trilogy. So going into the  theater, I was already angry and disappointed in the writers, JJ and anyone who thought this was how the Skywalker saga should have ended.

Then, while watching, I began to understand some (and I mean VERY FEW) things as to why they went the way they did. 

Rey Palpatine

I fucking rolled my eyes when I heard this, like I thought this was such a poor and cheap move that they made Rey related to Palpatine. I was like “she is supposed to be the image of hope and light for the new age of jedi and future generations.” Then watching the movie, I noticed that she was always so headstrong, and sometimes reckless with her emotions, her power and trying to keep a level head. Even in TFA and TLJ, Rey would would jump right in the fight cause she was so passionate. There was that passion, which could be perceived as dark that pushed her to whatever she did. And then the inner struggle with accepting her family and realizing “holy shit, am i evil?” But the fight and her saying “I am all the jedi” sounds like (at least to me) “I am who I choose to be.” Her little vision of Dark Rey was also an indicator of what she could be should she choose to go down that path. She may be a palpatine by blood, but you can’t choose your family and they don’t define you. Even if she was a nobody, or a scavenger, with pauper parents, she can choose who she truly calls family.

So do I mind that Rey is a Palpatine? Not anymore, because I think her character can inspire others who had a dark background like her, and remind them that your family will never define you, only you can.

Even with the decisions of the writers for the way she ends up on Tatooine (basically another desert) with BB8, just like how we were introduced to her (which I didn’t like. she literally ends where she began), I will always love Rey. I knew she would never turn dark, but knowing that she has that darkness, like all of us (cause literally no one is a saint), she has control over it and chooses to be light. 

Reylo is C A N O N.

FUCK. YES. I WAITED FOR FIVE FUCKING YEARS FOR THIS. This relationship and dynamic of these two incredibly strong characters is something I have been following for so long and will continue to do so when I rot in my grave. The chemistry between the characters and actors is so passionate to the point where I couldn’t take my eyes off the screen. 

I see Ben and Rey and of course I think balance. Since seeing them fight in TFA and have this almost 50/50 chance of who would win, I fucking lost it when I saw how equal they are. They are so yin and yang it hurts. Rey is the light (yang) with that hint of darkness (when shes reckless, too passionate, her family) while Ben is (yin) with all that darkness with that spark of light (because he’s a fuckin’ solo lets be honest, it was always something that he struggled to push down).

They are literally the power couple of the century. I freaking love that they fight together and Rey has shown signs of being stronger than Ben. And does he feel insulted? Or upset because a nobody/girl/scavenger could potentially beat him? No. He is so in love with her power and passion that he wants to help her control it. When she blew up the ship? He was fucking BLOWN AWAY, like as if his heart eyes couldn’t get any bigger. 

And Rey just knows. She always tried to pull Ben out of the dark, and never wanted to give up on him. She stabs Kylo? The Supreme Leader and the reason so many are suffering all over the galaxy? She fucking heals him and in a moment of despair and sadness of both of them losing Leia, she tells him that she wanted to “Ben’s hand.” I think she told him this in hopes that he was still in there. With their vulnerability presented to one another, she took a chance that finally opened his heart with the death of his mother and talk with his father (cried so hard btw).

Finally, when we see Ben after their fight on the Death Star his scar is gone. Rey healed his scar, a symbol that was very Kylo. He tosses his saber, gets rid of his layers of (brooding) clothing and goes after his girl. Nuff said.

The Death of Ben Solo

I am struggling to write this. I could not. Believe. They did this. Not just to the fans, but to Adam. This is the only thing I couldn’t understand in the film. It WORKED. SO. WELL. We all literally knew something dramatic was going to happen, but it was either the kiss or Ben being redeemed (and still fucking living). I cried for two days when I saw what happened and then again in the theater. I brought a pair of sunglasses in a dark theater so I could wear them on my way out so no one saw me like jfc. Ben didn’t deserve that, Rey didn’t deserve that. The poor boy was practically swept into a world of darkness and abuse and never had a chance to break through until this girl, this “nobody” came into his life and helped nudge him back. I was actually glad Rey wasn’t 100% the reason he changed, like his dad, his mom - the ones who have been with him from the beginning - knew him and deep down, knew what he would do. The only who had to finally accept it was him. And he did when he went diving back to help Rey and defeat Palpatine. He definitely knew that he would be punished for the crimes and probably live a lifetime in jail, but I would’ve accepted that more than a (rather poorly given) death.

And I understand he did it for Rey. I do... kind of. But with an entire world/galaxy at your fingers, to write whatever you want to about the force (including this healing technique?), you’re telling me that he had to give all of his life to her? Couldn’t Leias sacrifice bring him back? I just think it was a cheap move. I can’t imagine how upset Adam must’ve been when he realized Ben’s fate. He thought of Ben as the “bad guy who think he’s the good guy.” He did such a good job of getting into the characters head that it probably felt like a piece of him died as well. He, and Daisy, I think didn’t want that to be the last we saw of Ben Solo. Also, shitty death..just poof gone. She didn’t cry, didn’t mourn. Her other half, literally 50% of her soul...gone. Rey will feel this wound in her that will never heal and that pain will always remind her of him, with his arms around her, the kiss, the first, real and true smile of Ben Solo before he fell. 

I’ll probably add more to this or something but that’s all I can get out right now, I’m still raw and recovering. I’ll post more stories in the future cause I have so many, but now, enjoy the holidays and sleep peacefully knowing that Rey and Ben love each other. 

xoxo my reylo fam

[vios-rockland-corner]

Rockland: The balance of good and evil

The date of this post is 3/27/20.  Please note that information revealed at this time via Patreon or any of the creator’s blogs may be subject to change after this date

I’ve been debating lately on how dangerous the Rockland universe is.  Lately it seems like there’s been more focus on the horror, so things start to look bleaker by the minute.  I was wondering if Rockland is primarily ruled by more evil forces and characters, but there may actually be some shred of light in this world.

I feel it’s best if I try to tackle this by looking at a few of the major groups I’m aware exist in this universe.

Let’s try examining alignments and see where we go from there with just a few (not all) of the main groups that exist in Rockland.

The Misfits

Alignment: Evil

Just based on the Misfits: First Blood demo and everything else we’ve seen and heard, I think it’s safe to say that the Misfits should generally be considered one of the more sinister elements of Rockland.  Now we haven’t seen all the characters yet, so characters here may indeed range between how evil one character is versus another.  Even the Misfits you meet in the demo game mention they do normal stuff from time to time.  They just have a propensity for murder.  Murder is a “no no” though, so I’m still classifying them as bad guys.  We’ve yet to see how big the group is, so how much of a hold they have over the town/city they live in is an unknown factor.  This group could either an occasional problem for society, or a much more serious danger.

The Professionals

Alignment: Evil

We have some names and faces now, but we definitely lack far more information on the Professionals than we do the Misfits.  Still, considering these characters have some confirmed blood ties with the Misfits, and even dialogue in the demo confirming that murder basically runs in the family, it’s probably safe to assume this group is just as dangerous as the Misfits.  In fact, they are possibly even more dangerous.  I went through some ideas in a previous post on the dangers the group could hold in society and how these familial connections mean you better watch out who you make an enemy of in Rockland.  I also touch on how this group may end up being the reason why so many of the human characters get away with murder.  Especially if it’s through the generations.  Same with the Misfits though, not sure how many characters make up the Professionals.  Numbers and positions in society would determine the overall threat they pose.

Fallen Angels

Alignment: Neutral?

After we get some games out on the Misfits, we’re probably going to head back into the focus on Zeitgeist (Cain’s remake game).  It sounds like we’ll get a lot of lore in said game and better learn about the Fallen Angels themselves.  Now, I’m not 100% sure on the alignment here, but I’m taking a stab to consider that the Fallen Angels are part of the natural order.  They have specific jobs to do relating to the mortal world, so that’s their main focus.  I wouldn’t be surprised if the reason they’re likely not going to swoop in and save people from characters they’d likely punish in the afterlife (like the Misfits or Professionals) is because they simply aren’t allowed to, or aren’t that invested in every single small infraction made by mortals.  I mean, if you live for thousands of years, you may not be that interested in solving every single little problem that occurs.  

Now...specific angels may fall into different alignment categories.  Sam Volkov my current guess is that he’d be something like Lawful Neutral.  I think he’s still a reaper in this universe, and when it comes to death everyone is pretty much equal (good, bad, young, old, you get the idea).  He can be a friendly character though from what we’ve seen in the Zeitgeist demo.  Another fallen angel I’m aware of that we haven’t seen yet (he WAS referred to though in the Zeitgeist demo) is Michael Volkov.  Now I have no confirmation on what his current role is, but in the past he was basically the fallen angel of war and chaos.  He wasn’t necessarily a character you wanted to run into either.  Now if he still has that role...he can TECHNICALLY still be neutral.  If it’s based on the natural order, sometimes you need entropy and conflict in the universe.  If it’s his job and he happens to enjoy it, *shrugs* we may just consider him chaotic neutral in this case.  Cain Zeitgeist is....well we have so many spoilers but this fellow makes me keep changing my mind as to what he’s about.  For now my guess is he’ll either be true neutral or chaotic neutral.  He still keeps me on my toes, but he may not be as bad as his previous incarnation.  

Then we have someone like Damien Morningstar.  In previous lore, he was both against Cain and honestly his father’s work in general.  Cain may be changing but I think....Damien in the Rockland universe is not only still going to be a priest, but also still hates his dad Luke (aka Lucifer).  So he may not stand for the same beliefs as all the other angels.  If he resembles some of his older incarnation, he could be one of the few angels who actively works in the mortal world to assist humans as much as he can.  Still not a lot of information yet, so I can’t be sure if he’s still neutral or if he jumps up into a good alignment.

Mark of Belial Main Cast

Alignment: Good

Much longer down the road, the creators want to work on a set of detective games known as the Mark of Belial (or at least that’s what the first game would be called).  In those games, you actually will be working to find a killer.  So naturally, you’re working with a specific police precinct to catch the perpetrator.  I think that blatantly tells us we’ll be working with the good guys for once.  Only way I could see the main cast here as a bad alignment is if we get the rug pulled out from under us and find out ALL the characters and division are corrupt, haha.  Not an impossibility, but I don’t think that’s the plan.  The original concept I believe was an all human cast, so I’m going to keep up with that assumption here.  So unlike the Fallen Angels who (mostly) probably keep their nose out of most mortal affairs unless it’s job related, this would be a group of human characters actively working towards the safety of the citizens.  So yay, finally some hope in all this!  This tells me not all the characters in Rockland will place their tail between their legs and bow to characters like the Misfits or the Professionals.  There may be SOME cowardly or corrupt members of the police/detective division you work with, but I believe the games WILL be geared towards trying to catch the culprit.  You do stand a fighting chance.

The Hand of God

Alignment: Good?

Another group without a lot of information, but the name gets thrown around here and there.  Now if the characters of the Mark of Belial Cast are all human, they will most likely end up dealing with (and being more competent with) human affairs.  The Hand of God we’ve gotten hints that they are more aware of some of the more supernatural elements of Rockland, including the Fallen Angels.  That means they KNOW stuff, which is a big help to keeping citizens safe.  The creators have said they are aware of the dangers some of these supernatural entities or characters pose.  I’m making the assumption for now that this group is actually made up of good guys trying to quietly keep the peace from behind the scenes.  While normal citizens are busy fearing disappearances or murders that are committed by human characters like the Misfits and the Professionals, the Hand of God is likely being kept busy by “bigger fish to fry.”  Not to say that humans can’t be extremely dangerous (either via a violent nature or a dangerous intellect), but between a human serial killer and a supernatural one, I’m placing my bets that the supernatural killer is much more of a threat.  Also, the reveal of certain supernatural elements to the public might cause a mass panic.  So I think the Hand of God group will be working for the greater good, but it’s very possible that they’ll have only so much time and resources to spend on dealing with the more dangerous elements or Rockland.  The police and detectives will just have to be left in charge of taking care of the more sinister human characters in Rockland.

I have to say...I feel a little better.  Yes, the more evil characters and elements of Rockland are likely still going to be EXTREMELY problematic.  They probably have ways not only to survive and avoid judgement, but to continue their heinous deeds as they please.  I wouldn’t have it any other way because it’s more fun and interesting when you have villains capable enough of committing evil deeds and getting away with it.  They won’t be a joke.  BUT, it does seem like not every character we meet in the Rockland games is going to be against us.  Sure, we may not know right away which characters we can trust or not, but it looks like there will be some who mean you no harm or even want to keep you safe.  It’s just a matter of which opponents the good guys are up against, and if they are in the right place at the right time to save the day.

You know what’ll be fun to see though?  I’m sure several of these groups are going to end up intermingling with each other at one point or another.  What each party is aware of about the other when they meet is also interesting.  For example, if you’re doing police/detective work in the Mark of Belial games, you might have to go check a dead body or two for clues.  Said dead bodies may be currently kept in a funeral home they’ve recently arrived at.  That means we literally have some strong potential of getting at least cameos of the Willow family (which consists of Misfits and Professionals characters) in the MOB games.  Now wouldn’t that be fun?  You have to talk obliviously to literal murderers while you’re hunting for a murderer.  I wonder how characters like Quill and Alchemy would view the case.  I always imagined with the MOB games though that they’ll make a brand new character to be the main killer for those.  Who knows though?  Maybe you find out the killer IS a pre-existing character.  Maybe even one who’s usually “immune” when they commit crime.  Could end up being quite a pickle.

Also I have a weird feeling Quill will just go out of way to be super creepy to the detectives when they visit.  Just a feeling, haha.

Will be fun to clashing sides, though it may be quite a while before we get to that kind of content.

[ihaveneverbeengivenflowers]

Girl crush: Integra Hellsing

Or perhaps should I say

*cof cof* *deep baritone voice* *japanese accent*

INTEGRA FAIRBROOK WINGATES HELLSING

From: Hellsing Author: Kouta Hirano

Warning: spoilers about both the manga and anime versions all the way down from here!

Basic plot: At the age of 12, Integra loses her father and inherits the command of the Royal Order of Protestant Knights, a centenary monster-hunter organization leaded by the Hellsing family to protect England and the Anglican Church against supernatural threats. However, her uncle has always wanted to control the organization, so he plots to murder her right after his brother’s death. Attempting to escape, she finds herself in the basement of the manor, where some kind of legacy from her ancestors is supposed to protect her. When she gets shot by her persecuters, the shedered blood awakes a ridiculously powerful vampire tamed to serve her family. While Alucard performs a carnage with her uncle’s men, she kills him and actually assumes the command of the Organization. Plus, she's recognized by Count Dracula, no other than Vlad III The Impaler himself as his new master.

Now let me tell you why she’s my favorite female manga/anime character ever, and let’s consider her 3 versions (the manga and both anime adaptations):

The “original” Integra (I mean, manga and Ultimate anime versions) is my personal definition of a badass girl, and getting to know her was groundbreaking for the standards of my 16 year old self. Somehow she represents my ideal of strength, proud and self-assurance, in the best “I ain’t gonna take no shit from no fucking one” style I so admire and wished I had to myself... if my anxiety disorder didn’t screw me up.

In parallel to her strong temper, there’s a delightful tendency of hers to show a warped sense of humour with sarcastic teasing and taunting jokes - much more like Alucard, for example. In my opinion, Gonzoverse (ie, the first anime adaptation) depicted her too prone to anger and hard to please - like his antithesis, while I rather think of them and their psychological bond as different sides of the same hell broken loose.

By the way, I really think of her and Hellsing in general as thick with sexual tension, and not just because the prequel of the story was supposed to be a hentai. It’s not hard at all to think of BDSM, you just need to take a closer look: she cuts or bites herself and allows the vampires to feed on the blood dripping from her fingers, watching them from above with a wicked smirk. Gonzoverse also made its way on picturing her as a temptress, especially on the final minutes of the last episode, when Alucard breaks the glass in his hand and asks her one more time to drink his blood. The gaze she gaves him, omfg... I don’t care whether I’m straight, but pray tell me, am I the only one who gets turned on with that shit?

I’ve talked before about Oscar from Rose of Versailles, one of my other favorite female characters, and I can’t help comparing them two because Oscar also represents strength, but from a completely different perspective. Somehow, I think it’s like Oscar was raised by her father as a man, but Integra finished raising herself as one due to the circumstances (please note I don’t literally mean it, there’s no identity conflict related to her biological sex or gender). Maybe we’ll take it as given that she’s a natural leader because of her tenacity, but I think that’s more related to the events that required the young girl to grow up as a tough woman, otherwise she’d be deposed from her post, disrespected by a bunch of older men or eaten up (literally or not... take it as you wish, hahaha) by the family’s vampire servant.

That leads me to the next topic: no matter how fucked up is the situation, she still has the guts to do whatever she must do. Clearly this kind of behaviour is not reasonable 100% of the times, but she’s just too stubborn to give in. She lost her father, almost got killed by the uncle that sweared to look after her, shot him dead right after whitnessing a carnage, was betrayed by the butler that probably raised her like a daughter, took a great responsability at a very young age (and 22 is still a very young age to deal with all of that vampire nazi shit, in my opinion), got shot again and lost an eye and Jesus fucking Christ, she didn’t shed a fucking tear. Just for the record, I don’t think there’s nothing wrong with crying, it wouldn’t make less of her. But I can’t convince myself that Gonzoverse didn’t fuck this up this trait of hers (I wish that was all I think they fucked up, but... yeah, you know).

Taking the opportunity to dwell a little bit more on this subject: again, in comparison to Rose of Versailles, I once read somewhere that the anime was a reinterpretation of the feminine through men’s eyes. Guess we can’t say that of Hellsing, because well, it’s a seinen (ie, mainly marketed to adult men) and the author himself is a man. But to make sure that the tv series would be appelative enough to this particular audience, it might seemed to be a good idea to rebalance her relationships with male characters. To cite a few examples: 1) she relies much more on Alucard and/or Walter than she does in the original storyline, 2) she's easily subdued by Incognito without being able to offer resistance and 3) even the surgeon who sweated a bucket to successfully operate her was a man. On the other hand, she’d rather stab herself and almost bleed to death than having her blood tainted by a vampire, and this may have been their attempt to keep her nerve somehow.

Moving on, but still considering the masculinity thing: at the original storyline, we’re first introduced to the younger Integra, and then there’s a 10 years gap. The (not so) older Integra surely has been through a lot and earned the deserved respect. And I find this change (I’d rather call it “process” if we could have followed her during this considerable period of time, because it certainly didn’t happen overnight) of hers very meaningful, and very graphic in both anime adaptations. Not just because she wears trousers instead of skirts, but also because of the color tones (brighter in the past, darker in the present), body language (wider gestures x closed posture) and interactions (physical contact x distance to other characters).

By the way, if you think she dresses like a man, please read this excelent analysis and realize you got it wrong. As the author very well explains, the canon storyline develops in the late 90′s, and she dresses like a businesswoman of her time. Besides, Kouta Hirano is not exactly a reference when it comes to fashion sense. Let me emphasize that there’s no sex/gender misconceptions at all in this character. Her feminility is recognized by other characters in the story, and we can take for instance the way they adress her: except for Sir (an honorific granted because of her position at the Round Table) and sama (which is gender neutral), female pronouns are used to refer to her - lady, fräulein, ojousama... The symbols of masculinity, I think, are employed to refer to the concepts of strenght, power and defiance. Plus omg, are you people fucking blind? Am I the only one who thinks she’s breathtaking?

Well, last but not least at all: that must be something if the No Life King, an overpower as fuck vampire who’s like 500 years old bends a knee in front of her. Alucard has been surely under her control because of the restrains her family has over his powers, but I’d bet my ass he simply allows her to hold and pull his leash, and that he somehow enjoys it as much as his freak terminator job... and she seems to enjoy it as well.

Search and destroy, motherfuckers.

[especially-in-heaven]

‘She was Marian’

Let’s talk about Robin Hood shall we,

We’re all here for a reason. We love this show and are so loyal we’re still here are 10 years of no new content (and we have to listen with eye rolls about the Harry potter fandom, and the Merlin fandom suffering without content). And all of us are all really pathetic sentimental people who just can’t let go

This show literally changed me. I’m now doing a television production course because of this damn show, because my 7 year old self when it first came onto my television was blown away by how good this show was. It was my first introduction to complex interesting characters, female heroines and storylines that still amaze me. I’ve now made a vow to myself that I won’t stop my career in television until I get to be part of a new version of a Robin Hood production, because I’ve always been a fan of the legend but since this show I’ve not seen any re-make that compares to this wonder (I’m probably going to be here a long time).

But as I was thinking about what I love about this show, all I could think about was Marian’s death (The scene that broke us all) and how Marian’s character had a big impact on me growing up and my perception of what a woman should be.

And whilst she dies to further a male’s story (BBC I hate you), her death was the reason some of us are still here. Would this show have stuck with us for so long without it? How many of us would be writing fanfiction to improve it? Her death was imperfectly perfect for the fans and keeping us in love with this show.

And okay so I KNOW Robin Hood isn’t exactly teaming with female characters but I was a child at the time I watched this and had no knowledge of the patriarchal society.  But the 2 (let’s not count season 3. Season 3 sucks) female characters they do have, they are perfectly done. Marian is the reason I keep coming back to this show, she was my role-model growing up and no matter how many complaints you have about how the show represented female character, it was nothing but positive for me growing up with it. Calling Marian just headstrong and ‘fiesty’ (which is the most basic thing I could ever call a female character) doesn’t even begin to go into her storyline as a trapped life of a woman in the medieval ages. Stuck between doing what she wants and protecting her family and self. As Aarya Stark says in game of thrones, “The world doesn't just let girls decide what they're going to be”.

Marian is not only a strong female character;

She is vulnerable: the moment Guy finds out she’s the nightwatchman, she is scared. She doesn’t move. She doesn’t shout and get to business like when Robin found her out. She sits there, still. When she must walk out and have her hair cut (one of my favourite scene) she takes it but the tears are in her eyes at the humiliation… and yet still she doesn’t talk about it with Robin when he asks about her hair. She is vulnerable when Gisborne threatens to burn her home and does everything she can to stop him taking it from her 

She is scared: Did you see the quiver of the lip when she saw how she wasn’t going to survive the blow to the stomach, or how she turned to Robin with fear in her lives when she’d been stabbed the first time and says ‘never lie to a dead man’. Or how she fights to escape execution, the look of fear she has when she looks out of the window and sees the hanging rope getting ready for her. She’s not ready.

She is brave: ‘I was trying to be brave’ she tells Robin honestly when Robin asks her how she’s okay with this marriage. She’s brave when she walks down the aisle, she’s brave when she walks out to her execution, and she’s brave when she looks the man she love in the eye and reaches down to the sword to pull it out, making sure his eyes are on her… because she knows no one else will do it for her and she bravely knows she can’t avoid the inevitable.

She is manipulated: Gisborne knows that Edward won’t survive if the Sheriff’s plan to kill all his traitors works in 1x13. But he tells Marian anyway that if she stays and marries him, Edward will be protected. Gisborne waits until she’s most vulnerable to kiss her, after she lost her father – I don’t care about how many Guy/Marian fans are out there… or how many times you compare it to beauty and the beast… just stop promoting an abusive relationship.

She is manipulative: As does she has to be to survive in the castle. She uses Gisborne’s feelings against him to get what she wants, to do what she needs to be done. She tries to control Gisborne by offering to marry him, if he kills the Sheriff. Once again, showing her braveness. She doesn’t want to marry him, but knows the bigger mission and loyalty to the king (a man who really did not deserve this loyalty). The show never sexualised her visually (I mean the only complaints that people have about her outfits are how ugly some of them are – can we please forget that awful jumpsuit) but Marian knew how to use her femininity to her advantage and turned the male gaze around to suit her own needs. Whilst this isn’t a very good trait a woman should be showing to kids who are watching the show that they should use the femininity to get what they want… it’s a reflection of Marian’s character and her survival instinct. And I never said she had all good traits.

She is conflicted: She wants to do good by the poor, but knows the Sheriff won’t allow it and must protect her father. She wants to be free, but knows if she leaves Gisborne at the alter her loyalty will be questioned and her father’s life could be in danger. She also wants to love who she wants to love but Robin keeps doing illegal things (godamn it Robin!), but knows her neck will be on the line if she shows it. Her death scene wraps this up perfectly, her story arc and no matter how much we hate that scene, the writing is so perfect here. Whilst Marian knows she loved Robin before this moment, hearing her say it out loud like she did brings the biggest smile to her face. She no longer cares about the consequences of her saying those words… because now she doesn’t have anything to hide, her father is dead and no longer needs protecting, they know about the nightwatchman and she just wants to be herself. She came once before to being free, just before she marries Gisborne… ‘you really want to know the truth?’, she speaks. But alas Gisborne forces her to marry her instead (fuck you Gisborne). The relief of being herself out loud in 2x13 is what brings that smile on her face. She’s free and no longer conflicted for a split second before Gisborne stabs her.

I think actually, Marian being uncomfortable being in the forest was she didn’t quite understand how to be living there. She had been so used to being in the castle and playing a ‘false life’, in ‘Get carter’ when she runs into the village to save the peasants I felt like it was a sudden expel of all the pent up frustration at living in the castle and finally being free to do what she wants. When she tells Little John ‘I can’t breath in here’, it’s because Robin is suddenly placing restrictions on her again. However, I think this all changed when she sees Gisborne again in the castle and he ‘forbids her to go’, and Marian realises in that moment she can actually walk away. That’s when her feelings about being an outlaw in the forest suddenly turn as she realises for once, there is no pretending.

She is loud: No matter how many men tell her to shut up during council meetings she will still give her opinion. And as much as I love you Edward… please don’t give your daughter a ‘be quite’ look when she says what she wants to say. She’s probably the only person in the world who’ll tell Robin he’s being an idiot (or preferably a ‘fool’). She angrily speaks out when Gisborne doesn’t save lambert and doesn’t hold back despite the fact that he’s her betrothed. This was the first time Guy saw first hand how she won’t turn a blind eye to his wrong doings and it’s probably another reason he fell in love with her.

She is quite: She runs to stop the Sheriff hitting Gisborne (In treasure of the nation) but holds herself back at last second, remembering there’s not much she can do if the Sheriff wants to hit Gisborne. Another example is when Much comes to stop her wedding, she holds herself back from speaking the truth. She also tells Robin that ‘he must do nothing’ when he wants to stop the execution of Will and Allan in 1x01… in this scene, we are reminded that she’s a character whose lived under the Sheriff’s rule for a number of years and we know she’s a character that learns from her environment and how to act to keep the small amount of influence she has, because she knows that her influence as a rich noble woman helping the poor is too important to lose. Perhaps calling her quite isn’t the right term, because it’s not that she’s quiet, she’s screaming inside that the world is wrong. It’s her intelligence that holds her back… something that the sometimes very rash Robin doesn’t have (sorry, Robin)

She is a woman. Or as Robin puts it to Isabella… ‘she was Marian’

My point here is, Marian’s characterisation whilst has its negatives of being stuck in a love triangle with 2 men (screw the love triangles. Every female character in the show for some reason gets stuck in one of these. The show would have been 100% better if the love triangle had still been Djaq/Will/Allan but if Allan and Will were getting it on too… but I suppose you can’t have everything.)/ her death serving to cause angst and being a stereotypical ‘fiesty woman’… she’s so much more. The show never screams ‘feminism’ (they need more female characters for that) but they don’t ever turn her into a mary-sue… Marian’s character is quietly powerful through how they show her very human emotions which I think a lot of TV shows are missing these days. Watching her as a child taught me a woman should fight to be herself and that women can be complex without having to apologise for it. and I love her so very much. #pleaseprotecther

And when I get around to one day making my own stories, I’ll always remember how it was Marian taught me how to write a good/ complex/ human female character (from learning from the mistakes the show made, as well as the perfect choices)

I honestly don’t know what this rant was and if it makes any sense. I just really love Marian and wanted to get her characterisation of my chest… That’s it.

[emathevampire]

🖊

Amanthos is comically bad at hiding the fact that he’s undead… and yet the current party he’s travelling with has yet to call him out on his BS. Like, okay, he’s good enough at passing for living, but only in passing. If you spend more than a couple days with him, you’re more than likely to notice that even for one of his race, he looks a bit off colour. But NO ONE will call him out on ANYTHING, except for the fact that his eating habits (particularly his habit of eating things that are not food and may in fact be literal poison) are setting a bad example for the child they’re trying to cure of an eating disorder. So… here’s how that discussion went (it’s p long so i cut it for space). Victor, Amanthos, and Eridañe are my characters. Gelwyn, Livia, and Shiro belong to my players.

Context: The party has just killed a True Demon and is discussing how best to go about training Eridañe, the hate-spawned demon child they rescued from the Abyss, to fight, since her combat capabilities are pretty unimpressive once you take away the artifact that grants her a variety of terrifically evil spells. Victor and Amanthos are not exactly friends, but they’ll agree that working together will probably be the best option. Victor most begrudgingly, as he is extremely protective of Eridañe and does not like the “small annoying nerd man who smells like a dead hooker.”Shiro: “How many dead hookers have you smelled?”Victor: “Ha ha. Very funny.”Amanthos: “Well? How many?”Eridañe: “What’s a hooker?”Amanthos: “‘Hooker’ is a crass term for a person who—“Livia shoots all of them a dirty look and covers Amanthos’ mouth.Livia: "It’s nothing you need to worry about right now. How about we start your training once we get out of the sewers? Those monsters won’t stand a chance.“Victor: “I won’t tell you when you’re older. Anyway… what else do you know that smells like death and too much perfume? Besides little knife-eared nerds who talk too much for their own good?”Livia, suddenly nervous: “um.. I think that’s just the smell of… his perfume. It’s just… a fancy elven thing. Right Amanthos?”Amanthos, lying his ass off: “I have an intolerance for positive energy, like approximately a third of my race do. Some of the other effects of the affliction unfortunately include that wet corpse smell in humid weather… which I try to mask for the benefit of those around me.”Victor, not buying a single word of it: “Riiiiiiiiight.”Livia: “It’s not his fault he um… has a medical condition?”Victor: “Oh he has a medical condition alright.”Victor: “It’s called being fucking dead.”Amanthos: “HEY! I do NOT fuck the dead!”Gelwyn: “I don’t think that’s what he meant…”Amanthos: “Necrophilia is HIGHLY ILLEGAL AND IMMORAL I would never!”Victor, snickering: “Oh boy, sensitive subject? I see listening comprehension in this party is piss poor.”Amanthos: “…”Eridañe: “We would never piss on the poor!”

Livia: “Would you two stop it! We have enough to worry about without you two fighting!”Victor: “If we were fighting, your little boyfriend would already be dead, kid.”Victor: “But as you can see, he’s still in one piece.”Gelwyn: "No, Eridañe, he didn’t mean that he was pissing ON the poor. In this context, piss is an adjective that is modifying the word ‘poor’. You are correct, though, that we would never piss on the poor. That would be terrible behavior.“Livia, blushing, clearly embarrassed: "I like this conversation more, can we just teach Eridañegrammar for a while?”Victor raises an eyebrow as the smirk on his face grows more pronounced.Eridañe: “I’m… confused.”Gelwyn: “It’s alright, kid, almost no one else in this room gets it either. Remind me when we get out of the sewer to make you another gold star. For the effort.”Eridañe: “Yay! I love gold stars!” She pulls a chewed up wad of gold stars out of her mouth. “More please!”Livia: "Have those been in your mouth this whole time?“Eridañe: “…if i say no, do i get another one?”Livia: “You might get another if you tell the truth.”Victor: “Hey! We talked about this! Only food goes in your mouth!”Gelwyn: “… Ok… Going to have Dimas make the stars from now on. Out of something that’s supposed to go in a mouth.”Livia: “Wait, what are those made of?”Victor sighs exasperatedly: “I don’t know, but it’s better than the broken glass I caught her chewing on yesterday. Or the rusty nails from the day before that. Or just the straight up fucking dirt. Or poison she fished out of a rat trap. I swear I don’t know how she finds these things”Eridañe grins mischievously.Livia looks horrified.Victor: “It’s not funny. Stop that. Don’t you care that you could get seriously hurt?”Livia: “He’s right, if you keep putting stuff like that in your mouth you’re going to get sick or hurt yourself.”Eridañe: “But Amanthos eats whatever he wants all the time! Why can’t I eat paper flowers too???”Amanthos, who has been quietly relieved that the prior conversation had been forgotten up til now, is now caught looking mortified as he tries to subtly exit the conversation. Caught and dragged by the scarf, by Victor, whose eyes are glowing menacingly. Liva steps in-between and tries to separate them, but Victor has already gotten hold of him.Amanthos: “…in my defence, I never knew she was watching?”Victor, growling as he pulls Amanthos’ face up close to his: “Why am I not surprised that the phrase ‘you are what you eat’ is true once again, in the case of the man who apparently eats literal garbage and poison for sport?”Livia, pulling Amanthos away from him: “Eridañe, just because you see someone else eat something they shouldn’t doesn’t mean you can. Why not eat something that tastes better than glass or dirt?”Eridañe: “Food is evil, or it tastes bad and hurts you… why don’t you eat things that aren’t evil?”Eridañe: “If it tastes bad and hurts you, it’s not evil!”Livia: “Food definitely isn’t evil, where did you hear that?”Eridañe: “…i just know it.”Livia: “Would you believe me if I said I could find you food that is 100% evil free?”Eridañe: “Yes. But only if it looks gross, smells bad, tastes bad, and feels bad. The opposite things are evil and make you a bad person if you eat them.”Livia looks very confused and looks up at the party.Victor: “Wait a minute is this why you won’t eat vegetables? Because you think they’ll taste good?”Amanthos: “Fascinating…” Victor glares at him.Gelwyn: “Ok, new plan. When we get out of here and get all the pressing matters taken care of, we’re gonna have us a celebratory dinner. Think we’ve earned it. And we can use this as an opportunity to demonstrate some proper eating habits. I’ll ask that you trust me on this, kid, but you’ll find eating properly is a surprisingly important part of Stabbing Evil Things.”Eridañe: “But I am eating properly! You’re the ones that are wrong…”Gelwyn: “Let’s think about it this way. Who’s better at stabbing things, me or you?”Eridañe, smugly: “Me. You slash things.”Amanthos: “She does have you there.”Victor: “NOT helping.”Gelwyn shoves his greatsword straight though the dead Vermin Lord’s body.Gelwyn: “Ok. Who’s better at stabbing. Me or you?”Eridañe proceeds to do the same, and then pulls her rapier out the other side with mage hand. Eridañe: “ME.”Amanthos: “Okay, hold up, can we not desecrate a corpse please?!”Gelwyn frowns, and redirects his next attack into the stone wall, burying the adamantine blade in to the hilt. Gelwyn: “Me, or you?”Victor: “Kids, please, you’re both very good at stabbing, but can we remember basic sword safety before things—“Eridañe uses true strike to shove the rapier all the way into the wall through a crack in the brick.Victor: “—get out of hand???”Amanthos: “Oh no, why would we ever stop anything before it got out of hand. Fights, insults, whatever this devolved into… no, let us absolutely keep going until someone gets hurt or says something they regret.”Gelwyn: “Quiet Large Children, we are in the middle of a lesson. You can bicker by yourselves. So how far into the stone did you get, Eridañe?”Eridañe proudly shows that she got it all the way to the hilt, she just used the dexterity method as opposed to brute forcing it.Gelwyn: “Yes. And your blade is shorter than mine.”Victor: “She’s also much smaller than you are.”Gelwyn: “And if she wants to sass me with semantics, I’m going to call her on technicalities.”Victor: “Large children? I’m not the one engaging in pissing contests.”Amanthos nods. Victor yells at him to stop agreeing with him.Gelwyn: “That is literally what you and Amanthos were just doing. I’m attempting to demonstrate the virtues of proper eating habits. Stop interrupting.”Victor begins to open his mouth to contradict him, but stops and just glowers quietly in his general direction instead.Eridañe: “It’s not fair though! Your sword is bigger than mine! You’re cheating!”Gelwyn: “Here, you can use my sword then.”Eridañe: “No, you use mine so it’s fair.”Gelwyn: “If I used your sword, it’s probably going to break. You can use my sword without worry, though. Much stronger metal.”Eridañe: “No I can’t. It’s the wrong shape.”Gelwyn: “Because you aren’t good enough at stabbing yet.”Victor: “She’s not proficient with anything else yet… she is actually being honest. She’s not a proper fighter, she never trained with anything else.”Gelwyn: “Yes. So I’m the better stabber. Which she needs to admit.”Victor: “Arguably, yes, however not in a way she can meaningfully correct without a long delay in her training. And also not in a way that eating healthy will necessarily fix. Eating properly will help her use her own sword better, not let her use whatever sword she wants.”Eridañe: “If you’re better with my sword than me, then I’ll believe you. But nobody is better at stabbing than me! Nobody!”Amanthos: “I would take this challenge but something gives me this funny feeling I am already in enough trouble…”Victor: “Yes you are. Now sit down and shut up.”Gelwyn: “Ok, I’m going to abandon my demonstration, ‘cause nobody seems to be getting the point… Which was that part of the reason I’m so good at stabbing is because I make sure to eat properly. As good as you are, Eridañe, if you made sure to eat properly, you’d find it even easier. Is that something EVERYONE HERE CAN AGREE ON?!”Amanthos, Livia, and Victor all look down sheepishly and nod in agreement, along with quiet murmurs of “Yes, eat actual food, please…”Amanthos: “I… did not know that the habits I found tedious and exhausting to maintain were having an adverse effect on the most vulnerable members of our team. I failed to realise that keeping up with this particular one was a necessity for more reasons than the obvious ones. You have my sincerest apologies, and I promise to do better about it in the future.”Gelwyn: “Thank you… Now I need to sharpen my blade when we get out. Eridañe, you should let me check your sword, too. Metal weapons don’t hold up long against stone, even Adamantine and Mithril. Weapon maintenance is pretty much the "Eat properly” of swords.“Victor: “Oh, so now you think about that! Why do you think I was trying to get you two to cut that shit out in the first place?!”Amanthos, grinning: “Well, it is no wonder they failed to comply. Cutting would have been contrary to the objective of the contest they were engaged in.”Victor: “…I hate you.”Amanthos: “I know.”

In character, Amanthos is relieved that he’s gone this long without having to explain anything to the paladin, and that they’ve all been gullible enough to go along with the excuses he makes. He’s secretly honestly thinking he’s getting away with it. Out of game, however, me the DM is just like “HELLO? MAKE HIM TALK, DAMMIT!”

They’ve had every opportunity to interrupt one of his 8-hour bubble baths and find this nonsense happening. They’ll have more than enough opportunity to ask why, when told to restrain enemies until they can be questioned, he tied them up with black silk rope and chains in a way that implies he only has ranks in Use Rope for kinky shenanigans. They have every reason to question his motives and his character. But they won’t. I’ve been reduced to having other NPCs ask the obvious questions because the gang is so incredibly resistant to my attempts to quietly stir up drama. I am literally dying over here begging my players to make him spill the tea, while Amanthos sits at the table sipping it smugly and feeling altogether far too pleased with himself.

[kittymaverick]

MCF Moths to a Flame commentary part 2...

I really heavily underestimated how much jumping I was gonna do watching the gameplay alone... So, Eipex, good job on making me scared for the MD’s life... MD: LEMME OUT. If this weren’t so entertaining, I would honestly be screaming the same still...

1. Pazu: I remember these people Who doesn’t? MD: I wish I don’t! 2. Oh, THEY MOVED THE ENTIRE DOOR HERE??? MD: ...Okay, next time, I’m not just bringing a lighter. I’m bringing lighter, and gasoline, and kerosene, and napalm, AND A TONNE OF TNT JUST TO BE SURE NOTHING OF THAT MANOR EVER SURVIVES AGAIN. 3. MD: this room, it’s like all the Ravenhearst cases in one-- I’m gonna go pass out in the corner. Eipex, when I asked for Ravenhearst, I don’t think I meant like... give the MD a full room of it... Or maybe I did... MD: I knew this case was bad before we started whyyyyyyyyy did I come whyyyyyyyyyyy *sobbing* 4. There’s even a shrine-- wait, why does Gwen’s nest have... eggs... MD, which one of the twins was it that survived? MD: Um, let me check your posts... Okay, apparently, it was Charlotte. ...Are we absolutely, 100%ly, without any doubt whatsoever, certainty beyond all reasonable speculations that Gwen LEGIT DIED WHEN ALISTAIR STABBED HER? MD: ...Look, I checked her body, OKAY? RANSACKED IT EVEN. THE DALIMARS DON’T EXACTLY STAY DEAD THOUGH IF YOU HAVEN’T EXACTLY NOTICED. (Meanwhile, probably elsewhere in this museum, maybe... Dalimars: The Master Detective sure likes arguing with themselves nowadays... they’re never going to get to the end of this game at this rate...) 5. MD: I probably shouldn’t go into a fireplace that just showed up, but... I’m too curious-- Oh, good to know you’re just like a cat like me! Which life are you on now? MD: ...Considering Ankou gave me the feather, negative 2? 6. Complex puzzles actually seem doable and logical this time! Though it is hella creepy. 7. “All the cases are too easy! I’m gonna look into some of the Master Detective cases next. Maybe there’ll be a challenge in there.“ MD: I’m second hand embarrassed about this man’s ego. And other than the security breach your agency has, can I say... Your cases don’t so much have challenges in them as so much as loose ends that never tie up... MD: Look, I REALLY try with the fire, okay??? 8. Shoot all the evil ducks. If you shoot a wrong one, you’ll have to start again! MD: THIS IS THE NEW WHACK-A-TROLL I SWEAR. Pazu: I got this. *100% it* MD: See, in the hands of a good player, I still got it. ...First, how dare you diss me. Second, You do realize your adversary now know your shooting skills, right? MD: Shut up and let me have my small victories will you? 9. Hm, Raven badge, crystal badge... wonder if the last one is going to be death badge.... MD: If the Dalimars and that Scottish guy teamed up, I’m as good as dead... 10. ...is that... is that? MD: ...ISIS??? PLEASE LET US KEEP HER AS A PET. MD: Wait, HOW DID YOU GET CAUGHT? YOU’RE BASICALLY A GHOST CAT. Isis: *innocent kitty eyes* 11. Gargoyle chest with... Madame Fate’s Crystal Ball. MD: Please tell me that’s not the real thing because if it is, I’m breaking it right here and now. I think the pieces are under lock and key because they have Charles’ soul fragments in them right now, right? MD: EXACTLY MY POINT. 12. Video guy assumes you’re a guy. MD: I’m glad as least one part of my identity has been kept secret more than anything else... (Note: MD’s voice acting in this game suggests they are feminine) 13. And the final badge is revealed to be... the cog badge? Wha? (Even Pazu is confused lol.) ((I also just realized, we’re still in the Beta segment of the videos...I’m gonna cry in act 2 and 3, aren’t I?)) 14. MD: Should I be scared or honored that someone made rooms out of my old cases? Do you really want me to answer the obvious? MD: ...Okay, VERY SCARED. FREAKED OUT SCARED. ...BUT THEN YOU KEEP ON DOING THOSE PUZZLES. MD: I CAN’T HELP IT OKAY IT’S MY OCCUPATIONAL HABIT AT THIS POINT. 15. Cheating with weights on the hammer, MD? MD: Look, I walk around a lot solving cases, but that doesn’t exactly leave me time to work out, okay? 16. Oh, so MAC... was constructed by this guy-- MD: ARE YOU SAYING MY BADGE LITERALLY BETRAYED ME??? Well... MD: I CAN’T BELIEVE IT I CAN’T EVEN TRUST MY BADGE IN THIS WORLD ANYMORE. WHERE IS THE NEAREST CLIFF I’M GONNA YEET MYSELF OFF OF IT. (...I did say they were gonna give us a companion cube just to take it away, didn’t I?...) 17. MD, considering how well you know the queen... um, why didn’t you check before coming here whether it was fake or not? MD: ... Well? MD: Look, UK’s going through Brexit right now okay, I don’t think she wants to be disturbed when her country is in a crisis. 18. Okay, past the spire staircases! And behind door number three is-- OH NO. MD: OH THANK GOD THEY ARE ALIVE. NO THAT’S NOT GOOD WE HAVE HOSTAGES. REPEAT WE HAVE HOSTAGES! 19. Chloe: Thanks for freeing me-- MD: Okay, can I first say, how could you fall for this? Um, pot calling the kettle black here? MD: ...OKAY OKAY I’LL RESCUE YOU THREE THEN WE’LL REEVALUATE OUR METHODS, TOGETHER. Aiden: Make that Archivist pay for what he did to us! Blake: ...No pressure? MD: *sobbing* 20. MD: OKAY I GOT EVERYTHING, AND THIS IS... an apprentice badge? Archivist: Yo. Wassup? *Springs trap* MD: I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT WE KNEW IT WE KNEW IT WE KNEW IT Other detectives: Um, oops, sorry? Archivist: Really, though, how could you fall for that? And you call yourself a Master-- MD: I AM GOING TO GET OUT OF HERE AND HURT YOU SO BAD YOU WILL WISH YOU WERE DUMBER. Archivist: Um... that wasn’t... on the script-- Me and MD: SHUT UP WE HAVE A LOT OF FRUSTRATIONS AND PARANOIA BUILT UP OVER THE YEARS TO VENT OKAY. MD: And YOU just happen to be on the receiving end of it. Archivist: *drops trap several stories down* MD: DAMN YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-- [Here endith the Beta section!] 21. Hey, we awake? MD: Yeah... awake, ish. OW. Need, to, break, out, somehow. How convenient this guy left sharp objects in the cabinet here for us to use... MD: ...How did the glass not break from the fall? ...Hey, I’m supposed to be playing captain obvious here, not you! MD: Oh right, sorry. Anyway, to vandalism! 22. Archivist: You’re sloppy, aren’t you? MD: Says the guy who left sharp objects for me to break out of here with. Probably because he WANTS you to break out. Archivist: Remember Broken Hours, detective? Tick tock-- MD: I can’t believe I preferred the Dalimars as the villains. Me neither. At least they had some competence in their madness, minus Victor. 23. Blake: Take this Detective! Quick, I’m almost out of time-- OKAY WE ACTUALLY HAVE A HOSTAGE SITUATION HURRY UP! MD: If we take back the incompetence comment, will you give us more time? Archivist: No, of course not. MD: I thought so, you incompetent bastard. Archivist: You little...! Um, PUZZLES AND LIVES TO SAVE PLEASE??? 24. MD: Solving books puzzles gives me more books? Really now, that’s real creative-- Um... is that what I think it is? MD: It’s... It’s nitroglycerin. I’m... I’m so moved. Finally someone understands me. *sobs* Might I remind you this guy has your colleagues HOSTAGE??? 25. There are literally so many references to past games that I’m like overwhelmed with joy. MD: And I’m overwhelmed with HORROR. 26. Pazu: He’s going to get squashed. THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYING. MD: Nah, he’s gonna be fine. I hope. I wish. I mean, I usually turn out fine, right? Right??? ...I’m starting to think your agency is so broke because of all the health bills you guys need to get reimbursed afterwards. 27. Archivist: You fall into my traps again and again-- Let’s be honest, that’s just an MD thing, okay? The rest of the MCF crew-- well, actually... Okay, you know what MD, the Archivist is kind of right here. It’s like you guys are literally DRAWN to traps. MD: I’m sorry for being a bad role model and starting the trend? 28. Huh, this room, looks REALLY familiar. MD: I GET IT. THIS GUY, HE’S A COPYCAT. LITERALLY NONE OF HIS THINGS ORIGINATE FROM HIM. HE’S BEEN STEALING THEM FROM EVERYWHERE AND FRANKENSTEINING THEM TOGETHER. It’s almost kind of impressive in a very disturbing way... 29. MD: Oh hey, Parker, coming with? ...I think the reason why you didn’t get a partner for this mission now is because... they all got kidnapped. MD: Yeah, I’m starting to see that now. We REALLY need better security... 30. MD: Found the center of the mechanism! Now to stop it-- WAIT, THINK, THIS IS A TRAP? MD: Gosh I hate that I have to do that for everything now... 31. Pazu: what is this obsession with badges? Someone clearly didn’t get one and is salty. MD: Gods, all four of us agents are going to need new badges after this, aren’t we. Oh gods that’s gonna come out of our pay too, I’m sure... Speaking of badges, look! You get an agent badge! MD: Can’t believe I’m saying this but I really, really, really, much prefer solving the case involving STAIN as well as about the Hope Diamond to get my qualifications than this... massive puzzle tower... Wasn’t Huntsville how you got start on the whole MD path to begin with? And solving the Hope Diamond got the queen asking you to go to Ravenhearst? MD: ...*sighs* yes, this is a trip down memory lane in the worst way possible, I swear... 32. Um, someone’s calling. You gonna pick up? MD: You know, the least you could do is fix broken things after bringing them over, Archivist? Archivist: But if I did that, where’s the SURPRISE? MD: The last group of people that tried to surprise me got their asses kicked, you know. 33. MD: Draining people of their mind force, huh? I believe the Dalimars have officially been outranked on delusions of grandeur. If this note doesn’t scream trap, I don’t know WHAT does. MD: Honestly, considering how dumbly I fall into traps... I’ll like to see the guy try to drain my brain and see what he gets out of it. 34. Is that... THE PATH TO RAVENHEARST MANOR REPLICATED INDOORS? MD: I’m both impressed, and also feeling Charles’ jealousy emitting from whereever he is sealed. Let’s just hope this guy doesn’t propose at the end too. You have all of our blessings to defenestrate him if he does. 35. Awwww he didn’t have time to finish the rest of the manor. Only got up to the gate. MD: It’s like watching someone give up half way on their ambitious project. HEY GUY, AT LEAST ALISTER AND CHARLES FINISHED THEIR PROJECTS. DID YOU? Archivist: Did they build traps like these? *Trap Chloe* MD: ....You are rising up my shit list with record speed and that doesn’t happen often. ALSO CHLOE SERIOUSLY! 36. Archivist: Too bad for your companion, she paid the price. MD: ...I KNEW I should have kept some of that nitroglycerin! Oh hey look he even has a cable car ride for you! Don’t think we’ve seen that since Return or Escape from Ravenhearst? Archivist: If you want to get to the end of the ride, take a seat, NOW. MD: Oh I’ll seat, but only because I WANT TO. Also, your chair aren’t even replicas. 37. MD: Okay the box now... let’s open it-- Oh come ON! IT’S WHACK-A-TROLL!!!!!!! 8D MD: *Smash emergency exit button* Now ladies and gentlemen, please exit the ride into the next insane area. We hope you’ve enjoy the trip BECAUSE I SURE HAVE NOT-- Really? AN AMUSEMENT PARK NEXT? You did say you weren’t having fun... 38. Aiden: HEEEEEELP! MD: ...as much as I feel sorry for the old guy, I’m also glad I’m not the one stuck in that rocket ride... 40. Oh hey, it’s whack-a... detective. AND IT’S MORE FRUSTRATING THAN WHACK-A-TROLL. REALLY EIPEX? REALLY??? MD: ...Can’t believe this, but now, I miss Whack-a-troll. 41. Archivist: Can’t believe you made it this far without realizing I was one of the missing people? MD: ... Actually... Me: That makes sense, like, I was expecting it, honestly. There WERE four missing posters and we only found three. I was wondering WHEN that was going to come up. MD: See, some of the players don’t go through 19 cases and NOT develop SOME sense of paranoia that you’re going to be betrayed. 42. Archivist: Why don’t you step through the door to claim your prize? Me: How about, no? MD: No here as well. Aiden: Also no here. LET ME GO THROUGH INSTEAD! Archivist: WAIT NO THAT’S NOT HOW IT’S SUPPOSED TO GO-- Me: ...Aaaand we’re out of the illusion. I KNEW IT! WHEN EVERYTHING WENT MISTY I KNEW SOMETHING WENT WRONG! MD: Okay, instead of celebrating you seeing this coming HOW ABOUT YOU GET ME OUT OF THIS CONTRAPTION THANK YOU. 43. Hey, you got your badge back. MD: I know. And it’s stabby. MD: I KNOW. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS? MD: IT’S VANDALISM TIME! 44. Chloe: Hello? Anyone there? Blake: Um, same here? Aiden: AHA! Knew there was something fishy. MD: Okay, since we’re all awake, let’s do what we Master Detectives are great at doing. MDs: solving freakishly complicated puzzle panels. *sighs collectively* 45. Archivist: TOO MUCH BRAIN POWER! NOOOOO *Poofs* MD: THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR PLAYING GAMES WITH US-- Um, who, is, that? Basically everyone who remembers the sole survivor of the Dalimars: CHARLOTTE! [To be continue!]

[ialreadyreadthatfanfic]

Charles Xavier Is A Huge Dick: The Movie

or,

X-Men: Dark Phoenix

Hey, if you haven’t seen the movie yet and don’t want to be spoiled, you probably should stop reading!

*

I watched the new X-Men movie. Not only I’m that annoying cinema-goer that sits behind you and mocks the movie audibly during the seance, oh no, I’m also that annoying cinema-goer that comes back home and makes a bitchy tumblr post about the movie.

But, guys, that was so bad.

First off: I’m convinced that upon reading the script, James MacAvoy and Sophie Turner instantly lost the will to act, because we’ve all certainly seen far better performances from both of them.

My other theory is that the director simply told them not to bother, because this was, as far as I can tell, a deliberate franchise-killer.

The scene-by-scene description of the train-wreck under the cut for the curious.

PROLOGUE

We open the movie with the scene where young Jean Grey and her parents are in car crash, because Jean Cannot Control Her Powers. The kid survives; the parents aren’t so lucky. This scene is generally inoffensive, if predictable.

From now on, young Jean Grey behaves like a kid-shaped robot. Someone please write her better dialogue.

Charles Xavier arrives at the hospital, confirms her parents are dead, somewhat unenthusiastically delivers some well-worn platitudes and whisks her away to his school.

Hey, mutant powers are like pens. Especially the ones you can’t control, because sometimes pens go on a rampage and stab people in the eyes, you know, unintentionally.

(No, seriously, they went with that metaphor.)

TITLES - BACK TO THE FUTURE - or 1992, I guess, one cheer for 90s nostalgia

In effort to remind us humans that as a species we did some cool things on our way to ruining the planet, we watch the launch of a space shuttle.

Suddenly Houston, we have a problem. A sentient solar flare or something is attacking the brave astronauts! Oh no! Who’re we gonna call?!

Charles Xavier!

Like literally, the Mr. President of US of A calls Charles Xavier, like Chuck, are you watching the TV rn?, and Xavier’s like, already giddy with anticipation, Why yes, Mr. President, I see you are in a spot of trouble, and Mr. President’s like, Sooo, Chuck, I literally HATE TO ASK, BUT... and Xavier’s like, practically bouncing with glee, BUT OF COURSE, X-MEN TO THE RESCUE!!!

So Chuck sends off his chicks. Nominally, the team is under Mystique’s command. There also Hank, and baby-faced Storm, and even more baby-faced Kurt Wagner, oh yeah JEAN, she’s there too bc PLOT, and Scott was along too. Did I forget anyone?

I forgot someone, didnt I?

OH YEAH, the Quicksilver was there too. Considering how cool he was in earlier movie(s?), it’s kinda sad that he’s largely inconsequential here and I forgot about his existence about halfway through.

Charles calls Houston on the Cerebro like a huge showoff he is, and the X-Men proceed to rescue the astronauts from weird-looking space cloud (which is of course the Phoenix Force, or whatever comics call it). There’s some cool looking scenes here where X-Men use their powers, but they’re just window dressing for the main plot:

Charles Xavier is being a huge dick, backseat driving this mission through Cerebro and not trusting Mystique’s judgement.

BTW, Mystique might be the only character in the movie who behaves like a sensible person, which is why she’s not there for very long.

Anyway the scene goes like this:

Mystique: we saved ALL BUT ONE astronaut! Coming back for that one guy is super risky and probably will only lead to more deaths! I’m cutting my loses like sensible field leader!

Prof X: OH NO YOU WON’T get back for that one guy or the whole mission is a failure!!!

Mystique: WTF??!! That’s crazy, we will get killed!

Prof X: But it’s better to throw away our lives than have less than 100% record on rescue mission, because if we give humans even slightest pretext, they will instantly revert back to hating us, see? The President will stop taking my calls, people will want to arrest us for property damage, and neutralize our powers and stick us in prison for mutants.

Mystique: ...seriously, why am I on your side again?!

Prof X: Just have Kurt take Jean to the shuttle and she’ll hold it intact while he looks for the guy! Raven, I want to remind you I can bitch at you telepathically anytime, anywhere, for the rest of your life!

Mystique: DAMN YOU FINE

So they do it. Kurt manages to rescue the guy, but not Jean. The shuttle blows to bits around her. We are supposed to be sad for 2 seconds there, but then the Phoenix Flare swallows her, she survives, X-Men return to Earth with the astronauts and are showered with praise from adoring masses who stand there with cutesy sings to welcome them upon landing. Whatever.

Jean has a conversation with Scott where they mack on each other and she reassures him She’s Never Been Better, Really, I Feel Great After That Traumatic Experience, and Scott is like, IDK but okay?? I guess??

And Hank checks her out too, and her power is OVER NINE THOUSAAAAND, but Jean’s like, chill, I feel greeeeeat, so Hank’s like, the only problem with this situation is that I need to design a better power-meter!! Ha ha!

Meanwhile, back to plot A, where Charles Xavier continues to be a huge dick. Mystique calls him out about his control freak thing, Charles responds by being a sanctimonious asshole because it’s not like he ever learns or grows as a person in these movies, you know, and Mystique basically throws her arms up and storms out, which is a good representation for audience reaction at that point. Her parting shot is one of like two good lines in the whole movie:

Mystique: And anyway, as far as I can see, the women saved the day again! Maybe you should think about renaming us X-Women!

The movie will shortly repay her for that, don’t worry.

Some other things happen. Creepy aliens looking for Phoenix Booster covertly invade Earth. Mystique goes to Hank and says, hey so Charles is being a huge dick and a total control freak. I’m kinda fed up with him, maybe it’s time to move out and start living our own life? To which Hank is like, IDK Raven do even have a life outside X-Men, and I don’t want to move out of my lab, and Mystique is like, ugh okay I’ll stay.

Jean gets upset at the party and pushes some people over in midst of Phoenix breakdown, which makes everyone panic. Charles notices that her power is now OVER 9000 and he can’t just go and fuck around in her mind anymore, so the logical solution is to use Cerebro to do that anyway.

It turns out that Phoenix thing not only amplified Jean’s power, it also dissolved mental blocks Charles put in her mind to hide a terrible truth from her: her father survived the car crash. In fact, with her powers, she can find her father right now! Jean, in midst of her generic emotional crisis, blows out of the school to do exactly that, because she feels alone and misunderstood and betrayed, man.

It turns out he willingly gave her up and I guess hates her because she caused the accident by putting her mother to sleep while driving. Jean is pretty upset and about to smite the whole neighbourhood, when the X-Men arrive.

This is how X-Men discreetly take care of their business: They suit up in their official uniforms and take their official super-advanced jet and land it on the street, so everyone around will know what’s up. The only thing they were missing while confronting Jean was the transparent with the word INTERVENTION.

Jean freaks out, X-Men try to fight her, they all cause maximum collateral damage possible, there’s police, Mystique tries to talk Jean down, Jean semi-accidentally kills Mystique by pushing her over and impaling her on some wooden debris.

It’s all very badly written and feels utterly cheap and is a total waste of character. Frankly, the scene made me angry and not much else. But since the whole movie revolves on the fact that everyone is an idiot, Mystique didn’t go there anyway, I guess.

Anyway, it furthers three things:

Plot A, Charles is reaching new heights of being a huge dick wherein he goes to sprout platitudes at Hank, who predictably doesn’t want to listen to him and lashes out, to which Charles reacts very maturely by being OFFENDED, because Raven was HIS sister, OBVIOUSLY he’s the MOST injured party here! (No, seriously, he pretty much says that).

Plot B, Hank needs to be a bigger idiot, to which we will come back in a moment.

Plot C, Jean Grey is now Public Enemy Number One and all people are back to hating humans! The President literally stopped taking Xavier’s calls, people want to arrest X-Men for property damage, neutralize their powers and stick them in prison for mutants.

Oh, and aliens are tracking Jean to get the Phoenix Power or whatever.

Jeans next move is to go visit Erik Lehnsherr, who is living like a hobo in Genosha with a handful of like-minded mutants. She wants to ask him for life advice, I guess, because when Charles Xavier is being a huge dick and hiding your memories of your childhood trauma from you without your consent, Magneto is the only alternative.

Too bad she wants advice on Not Killing People With My Powers When I’m Kinda Upset With Them. It’s unsurprising that Erik Lehnsherr, who spend his whole life Deliberately Killing People With His Powers Because He Was Very Upset With Them, can’t really relate.

This upsets Jean further, and she demonstrates that by attacking US soldiers who came to Genosha to arrest them and doing her best to kill them. Then she flies off to drink in a bar, where an alien picks her up, because it wants to show her the whole wide world or something.

Let’s come back to plot B for a moment, which is Hank being an idiot. Hank is very distraught and wants to kill Jean. So Hank goes to Magneto.

Hank: I want to kill Jean and I need your help with that.

Erik: Wait, what? Why?

Hank: She killed Mystique!

Erik, already frothing at the mouth: ...let me grab my I’m Being A Huge Idiot Helmet, Hank, and we can commence the business of killing.

So the aliens are pitching their “Let’s Re-Create The Earth In Your Image” campaign to Jean, which can be done only in a New York townhouse, specifically in a very special bedroom (...oh hey, I didn’t pick up on that creepy vibe until now!).

Jean is largely convinced, because in this movie characters just go back and forth as the plot demans.

So both Charles and Erik with their lackeys track down Jean, and have a huge fight in front of the above-mentioned townhouse, with lots and lots of collateral damage while they debate who is right. Before that, Erik has the second good line in the movie, which is used to rightfully call out Charles:

Erik: You’re always sorry and there’s always a speech. But no one wants to listen anymore.

Anyway, X-Men and the mutants beat up each other, Erik gets into the house and fails to kill Jean, then Charles gets in the house and tries to talk down Jean, which is followed by perhaps the most genuinely disquieting scene in the movie, in which Jean uses her telekinesis to destroy the wheelchair and force Charles to walk up the stairs.

They have an exchange that is supposed to be hopeful and heartwarming and so on, but by this point I’m fed up with this world movie.

Jean rejects the aliens’ campaign, so the alien head honcho attempts to suck out the Phoenix Dust out of her, and partially succeeds, but is interrupted midway and knocked out. All the mutants are arrested, put into special shackles restricting their powers and put on a train which is going straight to special prison for mutants.

Don’t worry, we’re in the last stretch.

Aliens need the rest of Phoenix Macguffin, so they ambush the train. There’s a big action scene, everyone is fighting the aliens, there are a few cool shots but beyond that I’m blanking. In the end Jean awakens, wipes the floor with the aliens, and when the alien head honcho tries to emotionally blackmail her into not eviscerating its hide, she grabs it, flies up into the sky and explodes them both.

Much sad. Very sacrifice. Such tears etc etc etc.

AN EPILOGUE, FINALLY

The situation returns to the status quo, except some people are dead.

The humans were about to lock up mutants in a prison like five minutes earlier, but nobody mentions that. Guess everyone forgot about that.

As far as I can tell, nobody except X-Men noticed that Earth was about to be invaded by aliens.

The school is renamed after Jean Grey.

Hank is the new headmaster. On his desk, a cheesy nostalgic photo of Mystique.

Charles, despite seemingly getting a pass on his dickishness on every turn in this narrative, is Worn Down By His Losses and retires. He occupies his time by brooding morosely at a cafe in unspecified European-looking country.

Erik finds him there. He is disproportionately cheery, like a man who after decades of pining finally is in a place where he can bully his longtime crush into a reluctant chess date, which he proceeds to do.

Camera pans up, to the sky. The sky gives us Phoenix Force-shaped wink.

THE END

[commentaryvorg]

Danganronpa V3 Commentary: Part 1.2

Be aware that this is not a blind playthrough! This will contain spoilers for the entire game, regardless of the part of the game I’m commenting on. A major focus of this commentary is to talk about all of the hints and foreshadowing of events that are going to happen and facts that are going to be revealed in the future of the story. It is emphatically not intended for someone experiencing the game for their first time.

Last time, Kaede became the leader because Kaito was too busy nearly getting himself killed, Kaede lost half the group’s faith within the same day in part thanks to Kokichi being a dick, Shuichi and Kaito remained firmly on Kaede’s side regardless, Monokuma announced the first motive, and Kaito nearly got himself killed again but in the process Monokuma totally died instead, which was… probably not as accidental as it seemed.

Now that everything’s supposedly over, everyone has kind of dispersed from the dining hall.

Kaede:  (I don’t know why, but once I went inside my room… I just started crying uncontrollably.) “H-Huh? Why?”

Aww, Kaede. Her lack of much success at leading everyone is getting to her. Much more than she ever wanted it to, based on her vocal reaction to suddenly finding herself crying.

Then she wipes her tears before Shuichi comes in.

Shuichi:  “Kaede… are you alright?”

Kaede:  “Oh, Shuichi… Um… what do you mean? I’m not sad, if that’s what you’re wondering.”

Well that sure is suspiciously specific of you, Kaede. You are not a very good liar. Also it is extremely relevant to note that Kaede is actively trying to hide her pain from her friends and pretend that she’s totally fine about everything. Sounds a bit like a certain someone else who’s going to be doing that a lot later, hm?

Shuichi:  “…Kaede, I know how you feel. I believe in you.”

Kaede:  “What? You believe in me?”

Of course he does, Kaede! She seems so surprised to hear that. She probably didn’t think anyone would after the lack of success and half the class turning on her thanks to Kokichi.

(Don’t worry, Kaede; Shuichi’s not the only one who believes in you already. Kaito does, too.)

Shuichi wants to show Kaede something in the library, but on the way there there’s several people hanging around that you can talk to.

Kaito:  “See? It’s just like I said!”

Kaede:  “Huh? What’s just like you said?”

Kaito:  “Sometimes you gotta be a little reckless to make your dreams a reality!”

Kaede:  “Huh? What are you talking about?”

Kaito:  “Huh? What do you mean? It’s thanks to me we defeated Monokuma, right? I still don’t know how to get out of here… But the number one threat is gone now!”

Yes, Kaito, you definitely saved everyone.

I love this conversation. Contrary to popular belief, Kaito isn’t stupid. He knows that he should have been killed back there and is only alive thanks to (apparently) sheer dumb luck. But his optimism is of the incredibly stubborn variety that refuses to accept any pessimistic, negative thoughts, so he’s focusing on the fact that it did turn out well against all the odds to distract himself from acknowledging how attacking Monokuma was the worst decision ever that he only made because he lost control of his emotions and if it hadn’t been for that complete fluke then he’d be dead right now.

Shuichi:  “Ah, Kaito… To be honest, what you did was really dangerous…”

Kaito:  “W-Well, I was a little nervous. Just a little.”

Only a little bit. Definitely not terrified for his life and momentarily convinced he was about to die or anything. He’s fine.

Kaito:  “But now we know the universe is watching! That bear got the cosmic justice he deserved! The universe is always on the side of those who push the limits and never give up!”

And of course he doesn’t want to admit either that it was pure luck and not really his actions that defeated Monokuma. It was totally the universe, rewarding him for being so determined, right? He’s covering up how drastically he almost failed by insisting that he made a difference and saved everyone. (Particularly since up until now, Kaede has been much more of a hero than he has.)

But despite Kaito’s words, he did learn his lesson here. He never tries anything this idiotically reckless ever again. And really, he probably needed to have this close brush with death here to let him realise that, or else he’d probably have kept being just as insanely reckless and actually got himself killed somewhere later down the line.

Kiyo:  “In any event, it means this situation is over… I can go home and spend time with Sister.”

Uh, aren’t you, like, constantly spending time with her, according to your delusions? You shouldn’t need to go home to do that.

Kiyo:  “Sister is terribly lonely… I need to get back to her as soon as possible…”

Or maybe he’s just talking about getting back to murdering people for her… except, dude, you can do that here too. Only don’t, because you’re awful. Kaede get away from him right now.

Maki:  “You guys are free to do whatever you want, just leave the rest of us out of it.

Maki still wants nothing to do with Kaede and Shuichi’s optimistic working together nonsense. Still, she’s totally cool with them doing that without her and isn’t about to try and stop them.

Shuichi:  “…She’s kind of… unpleasant, isn’t she?”

Heh. Little do you know, Shuichi.

Shuichi:  “You said there’s someone behind all this, right? That Monokuma’s just a puppet.”

Rantaro:  “I did say that. But you know what? It’s just a hunch.”

It’s not, though, is it, Rantaro? His Survivor’s Perk told him that there’s a mastermind who can make more Monokumas. But it also told him to be very careful who to trust with that information, and apparently he’s not willing to trust anyone with it yet, not even Shuichi and Kaede. If only he had.

Kaede:  (Like a great detective, he began to explain in exacting detail.)

Kaede has so much faith in Shuichi’s talent, aww. And it also just goes to show that Shuichi’s lack of confidence is his talent is mostly unwarranted – to everyone else, he comes across as a perfectly competent detective.

Shuichi mentions that he came back to investigate the bookcase this morning, which would have had to be before the morning announcement, since Kaede ran into him on the way to the dining hall shortly after it. And Shuichi is usually pointedly not a morning person, only waking up at the announcement itself. So… looks like he wasn’t able to sleep much at all last night, huh.

The hidden door being black and white is very on the nose. Almost like the mastermind wanted anyone who found it to think it was connected to Monokuma.

Shuichi:  “If it were solely for Monokuma’s use, he wouldn’t need to hide it. He could just have the Exisals protect it and keep it in plain sight.”

Or, you know, just have it be a Monokuma-sized door that none of the students could fit through. Like a tiny little bear-flap.

Shuichi’s plan of putting dust in the card reader is falling prey to the same flaw that his later plan with the cameras is going to. That flaw is that he’s assuming the mastermind has no way of watching them and therefore of knowing about his trap. It’s very important to the plot of this game that, despite the big conspicuous monitors like before, there are no obviously-visible cameras like there were in the first two.

It would actually be possible for Shuichi to figure out that there must be hidden cameras somewhere, too, if he just thought a little about how the class trials are supposed to work – Monokuma needs a way of knowing for sure who the blackened is, after all. Alas, despite him genuinely being a pretty great detective, there’s still some things he overlooks.

And then once they leave the library, it’s… suddenly night-time, somehow. I feel like they could still have had a free time slot or two today. The dialogue before actually hanging out with people during free time is a neat way of getting a sense of what’s on someone’s mind at each point in the story (I’m going to be covering those a lot), and it would have been interesting to be able to see more of everyone’s thoughts on whether or not it’s really over right now.

Monokuma:  “When a series lasts for several seasons, eventually it’ll run out of material. My memory has been awful lately. I wonder if it’s cuz of how long the series has been going. Wait… what season are we on again?”

I mean, yeah, 53 seasons is quite a lot, right? But even so, Monokuma Theater is so full of non-sequiturs that I can’t imagine it’s possible to run out of material for it.

Monokuma:  “Anyway, we need new material for Monokuma Theater! Please send your manuscripts, along with a 1,000 dollar application fee! If your entry is selected, you will receive a 100 dollar gift card!”

You know, knowing how batshit the audience for this show is (people will literally die to be in it), some people are probably going to actually do that.

During a conversation with Kokichi on the way to the dining hall next morning, after Kaede calls out some of his usual lying bullshit…

Kokichi:  “Oh? Wow, Kaede. You know how to stand your ground, don’tcha?”

It’s interesting to see Kokichi making note of that about her. It’s almost like the people he zeroes in on and continues to lie to and manipulate, such as Gonta and Miu, are people that he’s identified as easy victims who don’t stand their ground and fight back. People like Kaede who don’t fall for it and give him the reaction he’s after are no fun. He’s basically just a huge bully.

Kokichi:  “I’m more nervous around friends who share too much than strangers, really.”

I think this is a truthful statement, and if it is, it’s very relevant to Kokichi’s outlook on things. He’s uncomfortable around people who claim to be friends and share stuff with him because he’s convinced that they haven’t really shared everything and could still stab him in the back at any moment. It’s easier for him to have everyone be openly distrustful and constantly aware of the possibility of turning on each other. That way there’s no unexpected surprises, no actual betrayal, when it does happen. He’s afraid of being betrayed, so instead of getting close to people anyway and taking that risk, he takes the coward’s way out and avoids any meaningful personal interactions altogether. I believe this is a large part of the reason why he’s constantly trying to drive everyone apart and discourage co-operation – because it makes it easier for him to deal with.

Keebo:  “Plus, if the professor knew I was missing, he would not rest until he found me.”

Keebo’s relationship with his father figure the professor is one of the most compelling parts of his character; it’s a shame it doesn’t come up more. Then again, it’s a shame that the professor doesn’t actually exist and his real creators are the people in charge of this killing game, so.

Tsumugi is hanging around in front of the girls’ bathroom. This is just before we all head to the dining hall and discover that Monokuma’s spare has appeared. Hmmmm.

Everyone is excited about their supposed imminent rescue… except Rantaro.

Rantaro:  “It’s nothing… I figure no one would listen to some guy who can’t even remember his own talent, right?”

He’s probably considering whether or not he should share the information he has, but it’s not just a case of who he should trust with the information, but whether those people will trust him. And happening to be the only one who doesn’t remember his talent isn’t really helping his trustworthiness. (As I said, him having had the memory of his original talent erased was most likely intended as a handicap.) He’s probably afraid of coming across like the mastermind to anyone else who’s figured out there is one. Which, uh, ends up being exactly what happens.

Kaede:  “But… is this really how this ends?”

Kaede, on the other hand, is less cautious about blurting out her worries that this isn’t over, even though she promised Shuichi not to tell anyone precisely why they think that.

And of course, it isn’t, and Monokuma shows up again.

Kaito:  “H-He’s still alive?”

Kaito does not seem happy to find out that his “heroics” yesterday didn’t actually achieve anything at all. (There was definitely already a part of him that suspected this, but his stubborn optimism would have refused to let him acknowledge that possibility.)

Tsumugi:  “Ah, geez… It’s such a low-level cosplay, I can’t bear to look.”

Okay but who’s betting Monokuma cosplaying the mascot of Yo-Kai Watch for this non-sequitur bit was Tsumugi’s idea.

Monokuma:  “…then every student participating in this killing game will die!”

Aaaaand here we have an example of failed communication on the part of this game’s multiple localisers. This line here is actually supposed to say “every student forced to participate in this killing game will die”, since Shuichi brings that up later and uses it in his deductions. But it looks like two different people translated those two lines, and this one here didn’t get the memo that the phrasing was intended to imply something specific, and that it’d come up later. Oops.

Monokuma:  “Mauled to shreds by countless Monokumas from the rumored Monokuma-making machine!”

This is very important and deliberate. The Monokubs follow it up by asking why they aren’t going to be doing the killing with their Exisals, since that’s supposed to be their job, and Monokuma brushes them off with some very handwavey banter without actually explaining why he doesn’t want them to do it. It’s because the point isn’t how the students are going to be killed (especially since he doesn’t even really want to kill them). The point is how certain students might try to go about stopping it. If the threat were the Exisals, there’d be no clear way to deal with that. But if the threat is the mastermind activating a Monokuma-making machine, then certain people who are aware of a certain hidden room that contains that machine can take action by stopping the mastermind from getting in there. And that’s exactly the trap that Monokuma is very deliberately leading Rantaro, Shuichi and Kaede into.

Rantaro’s Survivor’s Perk note specifically mentions that the mastermind will be vulnerable when Monokuma needs a spare, and that they’ll head to the hidden room at that time. And the note is just that – a note. There’s no proof that it was actually written by Rantaro’s past self like it claims to be. I don’t think it was. I think it was deliberately written by the mastermind as part of this trap. His Survivor’s Perk was never a perk – it was a handicap designed to get him killed off first.

Monokuma:  “So unless you wanna end up as pink smears…”

This line is absolutely great, because of how delightfully subtly it hints at what’s really going on. How does Monokuma know the blood is pink? In-universe, it’s still red. No character in this story, not even Monokuma himself, should have any idea that the people on the other side of the fourth wall see the blood as pink. But it makes perfect sense given that this Monokuma knows about the original Danganronpas that were fiction in this universe, in which the blood appeared pink to the players. He’s making a little nod to that that he knows the in-universe audience (and of course also the out-universe one) will get.

I actually caught this line on my first time through and immediately thought it must be significant somehow, yet I couldn’t for the life of me figure out how Monokuma could actually know that. Yet by the end of the story, it made perfect sense! I love it.

Monokuma:  “Geez, why’d you guys even come to this school if you’re not gonna do the killing game?”

And here’s Monokuma implying that everyone came here specifically because they wanted to do the killing game.

Kaito:  “Y-You bastard!”

This is a very similar reaction to what Kaito had yesterday, and he seems just as angry – if not more so, because this motive is far worse than the previous one. But this time, he’s not going to be so reckless as to almost get himself killed again. He’s learned.

Kaito:  “W-We can’t panic about something like this. I’ll… do something about it.”

Keebo:  “…Did you have a course of action in mind?”

Kaito:  “I’m… gonna start thinking of one right now!”

Oh, Kaito. Of course he can’t just lie down and accept the fact that they’re all going to die! Of course he would want to take action and do something about it rather than just giving up!

And yeah, of course he hasn’t actually thought of anything yet – it’s only been like a minute, geez – but that doesn’t change how strong his intent to do so is, strong enough that he wants to let everyone know. He’s aware that people are liable to panic and is trying in his own way to calm everyone (including himself) down by asserting that he’s not giving up.

Maki:  “…Figures. I didn’t expect anything from you in the first place.”

Hee, Maki making jabs at Kaito. She’s definitely the kind of person who prefers people to think before they speak and only make statements after they’re able to back them up, not before.

Gonta:  “W-We gotta fight back, then!”

Tenko:  “Y-Yeah! If we strike them with some sneak attacks, we might have a chance at winning!”

Naturally it’s these two who are the first to suggest straight-up fighting Monokuma, in keeping with how they end up being some of the participants at Kaito’s eventual strategy meeting and, along with Kaito, the people who try and physically protect Kaede from being executed. It’s interesting that Kaito isn’t also immediately suggesting they fight, too – it seems he was maybe hoping he’d come up with something a bit more clever and less straightforward than that, but then didn’t and fell back on his strategy meeting at the end because he was desperate to do something. (And, you know, having had his brush with death just yesterday, he’s more viscerally aware of how incredibly dangerous fighting back is than the others are.)

Kokichi switches from appearing to be scared and desperate to being flippant and unbothered about the whole thing in a heartbeat. He does this kind of thing quite a lot, and I feel like this is one of his defence mechanisms – he is genuinely scared to some degree, but he makes it seem like the part where he was scared was the lie, often overexaggerating it to make it seem even less believable, to lie to everyone but mostly to himself that he’s totally having fun with this.

Honestly I find that part of Kokichi pretty compelling in principle, and I’d be inclined to really like him for it if he wasn’t still also a gigantic unnecessary dick most of the time.

Kokichi:  “Maybe I’ll go back to my room and just think things over. Alone.”

Miu:  “A-Alone in your room? What do you mean by that? Are you invitin’ me to come kill you?”

Interesting that Kokichi would say something that gives off that impression – kind of in line with what I discussed earlier, it might be that he actually feels safer by being really up-front about the possibility that someone could come and kill him, since someone might do that anyway whether he tells them he’s an easy target or not and he’d rather at least be expecting it.

Also, here’s Miu again seeming tempted by the idea of killing someone, given that she’s one of the weakest and most self-absorbed people here. (But I mean that in a good way, in that this is actually her being an interesting character unlike how she is most of the time.)

Rantaro:  “So what else is part of his plan? Is my memory part of it too? If it is, then… can I even trust myself?”

No, Rantaro, you can’t. Because that message from “yourself” was not from yourself and very much is a part of Monokuma’s plan.

Rantaro:  “Does the term Ultimate Hunt ring a bell for anyone?”

On a first time through, this line implies that Rantaro remembers the Ultimate Hunt that everyone else has currently forgotten. But the thing is, he actually doesn’t. He’s only mentioning it because his Survivor’s Perk said, as a supposed sign of its credibility, that that would be the first thing they all remember. (Not that it’s clear how that’s meant to prove the credibility of the supposed past-Rantaro’s words, though, since how would past-Rantaro necessarily know what order they’d remember things in?) It seems Rantaro is a little unclear on how exactly the remembering will work – no-one’s seen a Flashback Light yet – and maybe he thinks everyone else has already remembered it and is trying to confirm that here.

But of course no-one remembers it and he only ends up making himself look more suspicious. He really must be horribly confused and stressed out.

Kirumi:  “People cannot kill others so easily… Especially when they harbor no malice. Even when one’s life is in danger, it is quite difficult to follow through on the act itself.”

This is so meaningful coming from Kirumi. Even when she becomes determined to commit murder herself in order to save everyone outside, she still can’t bring herself to do it unless her target is the only person here who has no reason to live.

Kaito:  “I’ll… do something about this. I just dunno what yet… But I’ll definitely do something about it!”

Kaede:  (We don’t have a plan either… And I wanna trust him, but he doesn’t seem too reliable…)

Heh. Give him a chance, Kaede. He’s trying his best and refusing to give up, just like you are.

Tenko:  “To be honest, I’m not too great at thinking… But I’ll twist my brain into knots for your sake!”

Tenko is pretty similar to Kaito in terms of her determination to take action versus her ability to think up decent plans… except that she’s actually willing to be honest about her lack of planning ability.

Kaito notices Kaede and Shuichi whispering about heading to the library and asks them what it’s about, but then…

Kaede:  “S-Sorry… All I can say is… I haven’t given up. I’ll show you guys that we can escape from this place. You can count on it!”

Kaito:  “I see… Well, if that’s how it is, then I’ll believe in you.”

…he believes in them! He trusts that whatever they’re whispering about isn’t malicious and they have a good reason for not being able to tell anyone else. (And that their plan is probably going to be better than whatever he’ll manage to come up with, not that he’d actually admit that part.)

Kaede:  (It’s not like me to give up anyway… I’ve always believed that my wishes can come true if I just work hard enough!)

Kaede is so determined and so good.

Kaito:  “I’ll believe in that heart of yours that never gives up, alright?”

And so is Kaito! He has so much respect and admiration for Kaede, because to him the ability to never give up is one of the most important qualities a person can have, and he’s seen that Kaede has it in spades.

If you talk to everyone else left in the dining room again after Kaede has announced that she hasn’t given up, several of them say something equally uplifting and encouraging – Kirumi and Gonta are happy to help with the plan if needed, and Keebo says he’s going to keep thinking of another plan himself just in case.

So the dust is gone from the card reader behind the moving bookcase, and from this and the mention of the Monokuma-making machine, Shuichi deduces that said machine is in the hidden room and the mastermind used it last night. This is the other half of the mastermind’s trap. Because, given the passageway in the bathroom, Tsumugi should never need to use the door with the card reader at all. And thanks to the Nanokumas, she knows that Shuichi put dust in the card reader and would be using it as a sign of someone entering the room. So she entered the room using the library door deliberately this time to make Shuichi come to this conclusion.

All this because this game’s surveillance cameras aren’t visible, so Shuichi assumed the mastermind wouldn’t know about his dust trap and would blindly walk into it like this.

Monokuma:  “…then every student forced to participate in this killing game will die!”

And here’s where the correct version of this line comes up. Shuichi uses it to back up his deduction that there’s a mastermind, but really there’s more to it than that. Technically, except for maybe Keebo (though you could claim that Keebo counts as the audience, and the audience is definitely participating willingly), no-one was forced to participate, at least if you make the argument that they’re the same people as their pregame selves who signed up for this (even though they’re not, really). So by saying that, Monokuma is leaving himself a loophole where he doesn’t have to kill anybody when the time limit is up. But even so, he really doesn’t want it to reach that point if he can avoid it, because he doesn’t want to have to reveal the fact – or at least, cause Shuichi to deduce the fact – that everyone involved signed up for this once upon a time.

Kaede:  (I can’t believe the person responsible for our suffering could be among us… It’s hard to accept, but if it’s true… I can’t forgive them…)

Whoa, Kaede, careful with where that train of thought might lead, there.

And then Shuichi falls right into the mastermind’s trap by assuming that they’ll come to the hidden room to make more Monokumas just before time is up and deciding to try and catch them in the act.

Shuichi:  “Ah, but… Kaede, this is just *my* deduction, it’s possible that I’m wrong…”

Putting aside the fact that he actually is wrong, because that’s not remotely easy to figure out with only the information he has, aww look at Shuichi having so little faith in himself. He just went out of his way to share his deduction with Kaede, and now he’s acting like he expects her to dismiss everything he just said. The fact that he told her means he clearly wants her support with it, but he still doesn’t have the confidence to stand behind his words and ask for her help.

Kaede:  “You told me about this, so that must mean you trust me, right, Shuichi?”

Exactly, Shuichi! Kaede knows what’s up.

Shuichi:  “Thank you, Kaede. You… have a way of encouraging me.”

She has a way of encouraging everyone, Shuichi. But also I think it does work particularly well on Shuichi because he’s someone who’s so lacking in confidence and in need of encouragement in the first place.

Kaede:  “And when this is all behind us, we’re gonna stay good friends! That’s a promise, okay!?”

Aww, Kaede. She’s adorable.

---

[Next post]

[celestialsunglasses]

as a mun, what are your feelings about nicks return? im still watching the new season and was curious about what you thought

send me questions meme.

Okay so gonna preface this a little bit. With first that I’ve been playing my version of Nick for I feel probably six years maybe almost seven. I’m bad at figuring out time. I’m extremely biased, though. And second, I haven’t actually watched SPN consistently beyond singular episodes here and there since season 9. AND LAST. This is of course my opinion and if you like canon Nick, I have no beef with you, but I do have beef with canon on my own time.

SO. I do read spoilers/wiki pages to get very basic overview of seasons so it’s easier to play with later season characters. And the second I heard about Nick being a whole ass thing, I’ve kept a hawk like gaze on what the fuck SPN’s been doing with Nick. And first, I personally think the way canon brought him in is a massive plot hole to begin with. From what I was able to gather about season 12-14, and Lucifer’s whole existence pre-s14 Nick. Was that it seems like they use the word “resurrection” which implies a death of Nick in s5. That’s fine. Everyone dies in SPN and a good amount of them come back at least once.

But they don’t explain any part of where they got Nick from. (i.e heaven or hell) because I feel like that would make a difference.

And if it wasn’t a resurrection why would anyone really have any reason to keep Nick’s body up to par for what Lucifer would need if he came back. Like again, from what I could gather, it seems they made the Nick vessel a cage that trapped Lucifer in s12-13 before he was stabbed and Nick came in. Like why would they think to do that if they didn’t know Lucifer was ever gonna come back. What would be the point of that?

And even if they just brought back the vessel for that season, which is doable with demon-y magic, why would his soul be there if it wasn’t necessary.

Also their explanation for why Nick survived that was literally “well archangel blades are meant to kill the angel, not the vessel.” THEN WHY DID NO OTHER VESSEL EVER SURVIVE BEING STABBED WITH ONE????

Next we’ll get into my feelings of the actual portrayal of Nick. And how much I hate it with a fiery passion in my soul.

I think canon s14 Nick is a huge fucklord and I’d sell him to the cosmic entity for a corn chip.

He had potential to be alright the first episode he was there. I liked the semi-vulnerability between Sam and Nick that singular instance. But only the one. Because all of it was very interesting. Like acknowledging things of each other like, “it must be weird looking at me and seeing him.” “yeah, but I’m glad it’s you, and not him.” “me too.”

that said hey even if they could never be friends because that would be very weird, at least they have like solidarity between each other. And plot hole aside I could’ve gone with that.

But insTEAD THEY MADE HIM A MURDERER. and the thing that sets me off to no avail is, “I don’t know who I am if I’m not you.” and his extra ass departure from his ghost wife asking, “where are you going?” “wherever it’s darkest.” fUCKING EDGELORD. THEY BASICALLY TOOK THE THING THAT MADE NICK SAY YES TO BEGIN WITH. FAMILY. JUSTICE. AND MADE IT OBSOLETE. MADE IT MEAN NOTHING. MADE THE FACT THAT HE WAS MANIPULATED LIKE HELL WHEN SAYING YES INTO WHAT IS BASICALLY A LOT LIKE SHIPPING NICK WITH LUCIFER AND I HATE IT SO MUCH. MAKING IT SEEM ROMANTIC WHEN IT WAS NOT THAT. FU CK THAT.

THEY MADE NICK LUCIFER-LITE AND I WILL F I T E .

Basically canon can eat me. If someone wrote canon Nick, there’s 95% chance I’d trust them more than I trust canon. but idk. it’d really depend how they viewed it. Cause I can accept a Dark Nick. That could be interesting. But if a person was like, “I love the way canon did it and I’m gonna play it to canon as close as I can” I’d probably avoid it because it’d just make me angry. Not that the person in general is bad, just that we’re gonna have to agree to disagree that canon is any good at that. because as far as my opinion is concerned: No. Because canon didn’t even make it unique. They made it 100% predictable what would happen the second he murdered someone. And literally almost everyone hates Canon Nick. He’s not valid to me. I can’t.

EDIT: also if u took out Nick’s little side plot, it would change nothing about the main plot and so basically what I’m saying is he’s unnecessary and adds nothing to the story.