#i need someone to come and talk to me about the last 2 mins of s2 because WHAT THE FUCK????

[sarah-yyy]

Dear Sarah do you have any Asian drama recs? Current faves? I am bored over the holidays and there's so much I am overwhelmed...<3

these are what i’ve been watching recently:

1. under the skin - modern cdrama (police procedural), 2 completed seasons with a third to come hopefully - mc is a police sketch artist! the cases are all quite interesting! leans heavy on the bl, if that’s something you want to consider.

2. riverside code at qingming festival - period cdrama, still airing (we’re on ep 20 out of 26) - also heavy on the crime solving. interesting characters!

3. love is a poison - modern jdrama, completed - straight-laced lawyer/extrovert conman-turned-legal-assistant. cute watch! only 12 eps of about 25 min each so you’ll breeze through it

4. when the phone rings - modern kdrama, still airing (ep 8 out of 16) - wife gets kidnapped and steals kidnapper’s phone so she can blackmail her own husband. yeah. they’re both a little Unhinged, i love it.

5. divorce attorney shin - modern kdrama, completed - wholesome courtroom drama, a+++ characters, interesting cases. 12 eps in total so i also flew through this. one of my favourite shows this year!!

[twilightcitysky]

Everything Is Meant (long S2 analysis, part 2)

Part one here

Okay, so that's how I think the pre-creation scene and Gabriel's arc connect to Aziraphale's choice. I also think the ineffable bureaucracy speedrun exists to prove totally different things to Aziraphale and Crowley: Aziraphale loves that they can love each other but notes they have to run away to be together; Crowley sees this and immediately thinks "hey, we can do that too!", forgetting that running away is not a solution Aziraphale has ever been interested in. It's the mentality of an individualist vs a group-oriented mind, and neither of them is necessarily wrong, it's just that their priorities are different and they HAVE TO TALK ABOUT IT, which they don't.

Continued analysis under the cut:

3. Let's take the Job minisode. Why include it? We already mentioned that it proves Aziraphale remembers Crowley as an angel, since he mentions it. And he believes Crowley is the same person he always was, and that he doesn't want to harm Job's crops or animals or children. Crowley tries to convince him he's a Big Bad Demon who is all in on this assignment, but fails utterly to kill even a single goat, soooo... Aziraphale comes to the conclusion that he knows what Crowley wants. Alert! Alert! This is a big problem! Crowley says, "What do you know about what I want?" Aziraphale: "I know you." Crowley: "You do not know me." But because Aziraphale got it right this time, he goes ahead assuming he'll always get it right, which is a crucial failure when it comes to the final reckoning. He doesn't ever ASK Crowley what he wants, he just assumes. When you assume you know what someone wants, you usually assume their priorities align with yours... he couldn't be more wrong about that. The Job minisode sets up this dynamic for them, and they never really manage to change it.

The other thing happens at the end of the minisode. Crowley acknowledges two crucial points: 1) he's lonely ("But you said it wasn't!" "I'm a demon. I lied"), 2) he doesn't think Aziraphale would like Hell. Aziraphale DOESN'T like Hell. Aziraphale hates Hell for what they've done to Crowley. He doesn't see Heaven as innocent or benign, but importantly, Heaven has never tried to hurt Crowley directly. They never threatened his safety. They never tortured him (as it's heavily implied that Hell did). Fast forward to the last ten mins of season 2: Aziraphale excited to tell Crowley that he can be an angel again BECAUSE: he never has to go back to Hell. They can never hurt him again, not the way they did before. And he doesn't have to be lonely anymore.

Last point before I leave Job: Crowley has the chance to cause Aziraphale to Fall, here, probably. ("I lied to Heaven to thwart the will of God!" "You did, but I'm not going to tell anybody. Are you? ...good, then nothing has to change.") He doesn't take it. He doesn't want Aziraphale to be a demon. He loves Aziraphale as he is. "Angel" as an affectionate. Aziraphale certainly doesn't use "demon" as a pet name for Crowley. I think they set up this scene to contrast the final one, and show how deeply hurt Crowley is that Aziraphale suggest he change.

4. Moving on to Victorian Scotland. This one confused me at first. I was delighted that they brought back the "the lower you start the more opportunity you have to rise" dialogue from the book, but apart from that I didn't really see the point of it. It seems like the statue of Gabriel and the fact that he and Beelz ended up at that pub in the present were more or less coincidental.

The point, I think, is actually not the girl, but the doctor. He's a person who is trying to do good by working in a system that's deeply flawed, and engaging in questionable moral practices for the greater good. (Cadaver dissection is still an essential part of medical school. You need dead bodies to understand living ones.) He shows Aziraphale a tumor he removed from a child who died, and Aziraphale clutches it to his chest. The camera zooms in and lingers to tell us that this is a guardian through and through. He wants to protect people. He wants to do good with every fiber of his being.

To Crowley, it's enough to just "be an us" with Aziraphale. He doesn't really want anything more than that. That's an issue! For one thing, it fosters unhealthy codependency, and for another, Aziraphale would never be happy without the opportunity to help and protect people. It's an essential part of who he is. Metatron knows that, and he plays Aziraphale like a fiddle. The doctor showed Aziraphale that you can make a difference even in systems that are flawed, and even if you have to do things you'd rather not do. Aziraphale doesn't want to go back to Heaven, but he truly thinks he can change things; thinks he can be a guardian with some real power. In his mind, that's the right thing to do.

Last thing that happens in Scotland: Crowley saves a soul from Hell, arguably, by preventing a suicide. He gets in Big Trouble. Whatever happened to him downstairs resulted in him coming back up, leaning on a cane, and asking Aziraphale to give him holy water. Go back and watch that scene knowing what we know now about the Victorian minisode. Ask yourself how Aziraphale must have felt. He likely blamed himself for what happened, because if he hadn't meddled then they never would have been there in the first place. He knew where Crowley was, and why he was there, and he had to sit with that knowledge for years. He desperately wants Crowley to be safe; is perfectly willing to push him away to keep him safe-- which is what he does do, the minute Crowley gets back.

Now think again about what Metatron offered him. A chance to keep Crowley safe forever. He'd never be harmed again. Aziraphale is going to take that offer, no matter what else is asked of him. He's shown over and over again that he'll sacrifice his own happiness to make sure nothing happens to Crowley. And he'll do it without talking to Crowley about it first, because he is a moron who doesn't know how to use his words. Leading Crowley to assume that Aziraphale doesn't love him. The idiot angel is doing it all out of love, but because he doesn't make himself clear Crowley doesn't know that.

Part 3: Maggie and Nina, and their roles as mirror couple/ Greek chorus!

[pshcomforts]

➳ shameless | psh.

highschool!sunghoon x fem!reader

“there’s just inches between us”

synopsis: you and sunghoon are academic rivals, always going head to head.

warnings/content: written in third pov. cursing. not proofread. sexual tension. kind of suggestive? a little bit of idiots in love. sunghoon gets jealous.. and possessive? reader’s always late to class but somehow still has the best grade. (this one’s my favorite so far)

comments, likes, and reposts are appreciated :)

word count: 3.9k

༘˚⋆𐙚｡masterlist⋆.✧˚

a/n: fictional characters — dae (jungwon’s partner), min-su (heeseung’s partner), and ji-woo (jake’s partner).

current song playing: shameless by camila cabello

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

2:35 ──────────────|───── -1:04

another day, another struggle of being late to class.

y/n sighed as she checked her phone for the time.

[ 10:42am ] — it read. she felt her heart weigh down at the given time. “fucking late again..,” she groaned while speed walking her legs to class. an unusual amount of notifications blew up her silenced phone, indicating that her friends were questioning her whereabouts.

“come on, i gotta make it.” the girl harshly huffed in quiet and unsteady breaths. “mr. lee’s gonna kill me.”

in minutes, she found herself booming through the door with only deep breaths audible. [ 10:56am ] — her phone beamed.

“made it..,” she murmured through her harsh gasps for air.

“y/n, you made it!” yelled her friend, dae, who had widened eyes. “well to second period but..”

“y..yeah, hold on… give me a second.” her hands smacked down on his desk as her head lowered with exhaustion.

dae giggled at her state. “did you run here?”

“i basically did!” she yelled out, causing him and their two other friends — min-su and ji-woo to laugh as well.

“you’re who i have to beat and yet you can’t even get to class on time?” a voice from behind jerkily snorted.

y/n’s head instantly bolted up at that familiar, stupid tone she could easily recognize. “shut the hell up, park. you’re here more than me and yet your scores are lower, you really wanna mention who’s beating who?” she shot back with an intense glare.

her rival, sunghoon, only chuckled in a laugh at her words. “your score was lower than mine last test, second place. i don’t think you should be talking either.” he let a stupidly handsome smirk tug onto his lips.

she rolled her eyes, blood beginning to boil the more she looked at him. “who’s grade is higher hm? exactly.” the girl uttered, before turning her full back to him.

she heard him humor a chuckle before giving a faint ruffle to her hair. “we’ll see about that, nerd.” her hands went to the messy strands, huffing out an annoyed sigh as he left with a playful smile plastered.

her friends giggled at their relationship.

“girl, you and sunghoon need to get together already.” ji-woo chimed with a teasing grin.

y/n’s face morphed into disgust before furiously shaking her head. “are you crazy?? i could never be with someone like him.”

“your dynamic is cute though. a little disgusting, but cute.” min-su added in, shrugging her shoulders afterward.

“puh-lease. he hates me and i hate him, nothing could change that.”

dae’s brows slightly raised. “mhm… okay..,” he murmured.

“look, just because you guys are dating his friends, that doesn’t mean i should date him. he’s too much of an asshole anyway, who would even like him?”

she would. the girl was in complete denial, turning all her confused love into misdirected fuel for competition.

he was a distraction and she made sure she’d always see it that way. he couldn’t possibly differ her from the strong perspective she had of him being the hot, asshole nerd he was.

he was attractive, maybe a little too attractive; but his personality couldn’t agree with that. as her academic rival, he joked and played around with her, enjoying the little reactions he could get out of the cold, heartless girl.

but she couldn’t say she liked the teasings she’d receive from him. she could never admit to it because no matter how appealing he’d may be, he was still competition.

“well we’re not saying you should-“

ji-woo’s words were cut off by the entrance of mr. lee and their widely known friend, jay.

heads were turned and confused faces had morphed in onto each student.

“class, this is park jongseong from mr. yang’s class. he’s transferred to ours so his schedule can fit a few other classes, please welcome him,” he announced to everyone.

y/n’s eyes twinkled with delight at the sight of her friend who was awkwardly waving to his new peers. “hello..,” she heard him beam with a smile.

“you’re welcome to choose whichever empty seat you’d like. i’d suggest sitting next to either of my top two students, y/n,” mr. lee pointed to her, “or sunghoon. both are great choices to choose for catching up with our class.”

given that jay was a friend of both, he remained a little unsure before ultimately deciding to sit next to y/n.

he placed himself on the right side of her, giving sunghoon a clear shot of the two alarmingly close to each other. he let a puff of air slip by his lips as he subtly rolled his eyes.

“could’ve sat next to me but chose to sit next to that loser?” he silently fumed in his seat, forcing his attention away from the two who were conversing.

sunghoon didn’t know why but his heart was burning, aching almost. he’s never felt this way before. seeing how the girl he attempted to hate smile and smack his friend’s shoulders churned his stomach.

his jaw clenched and his ears fell deaf on everything else once he heard his rival call him — “park.”

“park?? park?” he guffawed with a loud, clear scoff in his throat. “she’s calling him park? my nickname she has for me??”

he angrily folded his arms as he tried to keep himself quiet. his mouth continued to spew out a few other words about her existence, along with some curse words added in for jay’s part before being interrupted — “why are you so loud?”

his head whipped to the right, meeting eyes with his friend, heeseung whose head was laying on the desk. “almost everyone can hear you, hoon. you’re showing that you like her a little too much.” the older male teased with a shit eating grin.

sunghoon exhaled a long breath before uttering a quiet — “shut up” to his friend. just then, a little note was thrown onto his desk, catching his attention.

his head cocked to the side in confusion before turning to the direction of where the paper came from.

in seconds, he found ji-woo’s boyfriend, jake, mouthing ‘open it.’

his hands crumbled it open and found the words — ‘are you jealous?’ — written on it.

hoon’s face immediately wore a frown as his brows furrowed back to his friend. in return, jake motioned for him to write back with his hand doing little scribbly lines.

he groaned out a soft sigh before complying to his friends words. ‘jealous about what?’ he wrote, faking his coy state to hide how he felt.

he gave a harsh toss back to jake, allowing the aussie to open it with a ‘pft’ leaving his lips afterward.

‘don’t act stupid, you’re looking sus ඞ’ — written back to sunghoon.

jake tried to throw it back to him but with such a bad angle toss, it ended up landing on jungwon’s desk.

he cocked a brow at the crumbled paper, opening it to find the two different sets of colored words — red from sunghoon and black from jake.

won turned to sunghoon with an eyebrow raise, giving a quick toss back to him, not before adding in his own input of course.

‘hoon’s jealous? about what? y/n? (⚆ ̫ ⚆)’ — colored blue to the tall boy.

sunghoon gave an annoyed grunt after reading his friend’s words. almost a little too harshly, his hands quickened in a pace before throwing it to jungwon once more.

‘i’m not jealous (ง •̀_•́)ง’— he rolled his eyes at his confirmation. “me? jealous?” he quietly scoffed in disbelief.

before he could toss it to jungwon’s desk, a snatch from the right was made to the paper, indicating that heeseung had caught on to their little game.

he crumbled it open, raising his brows and widening his eyes in amusement. sunghoon softly sighed as he watched the older male start writing as well. “great.. heeseung’s in on this now too.” he whispered under his breath.

min-su’s boyfriend finished his thought and gracefully threw it to jake. ‘he’s such a liar, i heard him just minutes ago talking about them (ఠꍓఠ)’ — heeseung wrote in green.

the younger boy silently laughed, widening his bright smile as he scribbled a few words back. ‘hoonie has a crush (ꗞ _ ꗞ)’ — he threw to y/n’s rival.

sunghoon opened the note before rolling his eyes and clenching his already-tense jaw. his hand wrote out his thoughts, pen undeniably denting the paper in frustration.

the passing of the note went around the four for a while, eventually reaching niki and sunoo as well; jay staying mindless to all of it because well, he was still talking to y/n.

the two conversing and turning to one another for a peer talk was the view from sunghoon’s perspective.

soon enough, mr. lee caught on as well, and just with luck on its side, sunghoon was the one to be seen with the passed note.

“one of my star students? really?” the teacher uttered in a slight scoff.

hoon’s head instantly lowered at the obvious disappointment present in his teacher’s tone. he’s never felt this sort of fizzling letdown before and he didn’t know how to take it.

“what? no, i-“ he tried to justify, only to be cut off by mr. lee — “i’m fairly disappointed, sunghoon. i expected more.”

everyone’s eyes were on him and all he could do was have an embarrassing amount of blush on his cheeks.

“you’ll serve detention for disrupting my class after school today. see me then.”

his head lowered even more, avoiding the judgmental stares received from his peers.

a snicker then came from the direction of where his rival was at. a poorly hidden snicker at that.

y/n softly snorted out laughter, hands attempting to cover her mouth but doing it very horribly with the fact that her worst enemy was just embarrassed.

sunghoon shot a glance to her, teary eyes narrowing at the girl before shifting to jay who was trying to quiet her down. there it was again. his heart painfully throbbed at how his friend interacted with her.

“well if you think it’s so funny y/n, you can join sunghoon for detention as well,” mr. lee spat to her.

almost immediately, her eyes widened at his words. “what?? but-“

“can’t wait,” he intruded with a push to his glasses. “would anyone else like to join my two students who i thought were my academic weapons before i return back to this lesson? no? okay, let’s proceed.”

min-su, ji-woo, dae, and the rest of the enhypen members avoided eye contact from the two

y/n fumed in her seat, grumbling out quiet curse words to herself as she rolled her eyes. “he gets in trouble but i somehow get sucked in? pft, asshole.” she mumbled, putting the blame on him even though it was her own fault.

from the back, hoon placed his hand over his mouth to cover himself from sneering a laugh. sure, he hated the fact that he was about to spend more time with the girl he hated (liar), but he felt satisfied that she got in just as much trouble as him. then the thought of having to see her again clouded his head, and it pissed him off once more.

karma really was a bitch.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

hours passed through the school day, and ms. choi was the last and final teacher.

with just a few minutes left, she caught everyone’s attention. ”your tests have finally been graded, so scores will be out soon. please look out for it on the bulletin board when you get the chance.” she said, giving an approval head nod seconds after the bell rang to head over.

students scattered around to the bulletin board, little pushes and shoves were made as most of y/n’s friend group rushed for their score.

“a 95! yes!” screamed ji-woo.

“92! i can live with this,” dae pointed out.

“93! holy shit, i passed!” min-su yelled.

y/n’s eyes widened. “97?? OH MY GOD! i actually passed! all that hard work paid off!” she shouted, jumping up and down in glee.

the academic group cheered together, giving hops in their designated stance all at once. they circled around, still in oblivious glee before y/n had come in contact with sunghoon’s score.

68.

her heart dropped a little for him. she immediately stopped her jumps and examined the paper.

eight rankings.. the boy went down by eight rankings, no longer being her competition for now.

she didn’t know how to feel. for as long as she could remember, they’d been going head to head for first place, and now she’s got the upper hand.

y/n was finally in the lead and for once, sunghoon wasn’t the runner up.

her eyes continuously looked over at his score. she couldn’t even lie, she’d be in distress if her score went low like that.

‘wait- no way i feel bad for him?? i should be happy that i’m finally rank one by myself.’ she thought, scoffing in disbelief with how she almost felt sympathetic for a jerk named sunghoon. but she’d understand him — the disappointed looks from his family, the eating guilt from doing bad, the expectations to never failing again — she knew what it was like.

and it was then that y/n shifted her attention from her friends to across the hall where he was. her heart instantly thumped in pity as she watched his strikingly, attractive face turn sour with every step he took.

the look of disappointment was clear in his facial expression, and she could see it herself. she almost wore a frown when watching him slowly disassociate from his conversation with the enhypen members — something that only she noticed.

the girl watched him excuse himself to leave, then it clicked into her head that she had detention with him.

“aw fuck!” she cursed aloud, catching her friend’s attentions.

“what?” asked ji-woo with a head tilt.

“she has detention with sunghoon,” jake chimed from behind, slinging an arm around his girlfriend.

min-su and dae snickered in laughs before y/n exhausted a groan. “shut up!” she yelled to them.

“have fun,” min-su’s boyfriend, heeseung, teased with a sly smile.

“you know she won’t baby,” his girl intervened, following his smile and mirroring the evil grin he had.

the single girl rolled her eyes after noticing their friends link arms with their significant others.

“it’ll be over soon, y/n. just ignore him!” dae yelled. “i mean you could talk to him but..,”

“babe, does it really look like she wants to talk to him?” jungwon asked, planting a soft peck onto his boyfriend’s cheeks afterwards.

“well i’d rather be in there than seeing all this couple stuff.” y/n refuted, huffing out a breath of air before leaving to detention in defeat.

she left the scene, hearing the remaining words of jay scream out — ��i’m staying after school for a bit, so say hi if you see me!”

when she approached the class, she felt her heartbeats in her throat. she softly clenched her chest. ‘what is this feeling? pft, this is stupid,’ the girl thought while entering in.

“y/n, good to see you’ve finally arrived on time. take a seat right there,” mr. lee spoke with another push to his glasses.

a red color picked at her cheeks when she met eyes with her arch rival, sunghoon. being announced that she wasn’t late for once in front of the person she hated was way too humiliating.

but then she remembered that he got a low score and she suddenly felt better.

y/n sat across the room from him, making sure that she’d breathe no same air as him. she gave a soft sigh as she checked her phone.

[ 3:17pm ] — it read.

it’s gonna be a long while.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

about an hour passed, and detention was almost over.

the entire time the two were stuck in there, it remained silent. tension filled the air with every quiet glance they could get, every small glimpse they could steal from each other.

a few minutes later, and mr. lee had finally announced they could leave.

“i sincerely hope that my two star pupils won’t disrupt my class again, have a great rest of your day.” he murmured, lips firmly pressed together to emphasize disappointment.

y/n groaned out a sigh once the teacher had made his exit. “finally gonna go home,” she mumbled under her breath.

a clink from behind was made, indicating that sunghoon was still in the class. she gave a quick stink eye and though he couldn’t see it, she felt stupidly proud of herself.

she exited out before he could, head directly staring down onto her phone, causing her face to meet a very broad chest.

y/n shot her head up, expecting to see a stranger but instead saw a familiar face. “oh jay! you stayed!” she yelled.

his face beamed a bright smile before nudging her head. “yeah i had to for a class, how was it spending time with sunghoon?” his brows raised in amusement, enjoying how frustrated she got.

“shut up, park!” she cackled, sending a smile and a smack to him.

it was then that sunghoon’s feet were glued to the ground at the door frame. he seethed through the gaps of air in his teeth. there it was again; that stupid pounding in his heart.

the nickname ‘park’ was in a different sense of tone that he’s never heard before. a playful, sweet tone that set him off in the wrong way.

“park?” he unbelievably scoffed.

he watched the two interact from afar, hearing how they unintentionally flirted with each other was boiling his blood. jealous? no. can’t be.

“are you about to leave?” he heard jay ask her with his infamous smirk.

“yep, just waiting for my brother.” y/n beamed, showing him a bright smile that should’ve been for hoon.

the tall male rolled his eyes. she’s never that nice to him.

“i could take you home if you want?” jay asked, lips pressing into a line.

sunghoon’s heart dropped, sank even. taking her home? his arch rival? hell no.

he stepped into the scene with a firm jaw clench. arms folding in an irritated way, he spoke — “i’m gonna talk to y/n, no need to take her home.”

he stared down at jay, unintentionally burning holes into the boy who had accidentally got involved. no sense of indulging familiarity spoke in his eyes because all he could do was drag his enemy away with a tight grip on her wrist.

hoon brought her to a more secluded area, ignoring her confused whines to let go. he loosened his grip, letting go just to grasp her in his hands again. they dug into her shoulders as he pushed her back against the wall.

he furrowed his brows before keeping his gaze down, avoiding eye contact. y/n didn’t say anything as she stared at him in confusion.

only heavy breaths from him were heard before he angrily spat — “you’re doing this on purpose, aren’t you?”

his teeth gritted, digging his fingers deeper into her shoulders. he didn’t know why he was acting this way. he just couldn’t stand the fact that she was so close to jay after basically spending an entire day together.

y/n’s brows furrowed at his question. “what? what’s wrong with you? i was just talking to jay.”

hoon’s head picked up at her words, finally locking gaze in a softened look she’s never seen before. “does he mean anything to you?” he croaked in a husky voice.

“he’s just a friend. why are you even asking this? you’re not my boyfriend,” the girl scoffed with a slight smile. “you’d like to be though, wouldn’t you?”

“shut up,” he seethed in a stern expression. his softened eyes turned back to a glare. y/n quickly caught onto the pent up frustration in it, hinting that his test score added in on his outburst. “you don’t know how badly i wanted to pull you away from him today, how badly i should’ve shown him that you’re not his.”

sunghoon’s face inched closer to hers, noses delicately coming in contact. she could feel his breath on hers and all she could do was feel physically weak.

“i should’ve huh?” he uttered in a scoff, trailing his gaze from her lips and back to her eyes. “would you have liked that?”

their lips were close to connecting, grazing against each others. she’d pull in but he’d pull away, and when he’d pull in, she’d pull away as well.

✩ ‘i want you to give in, i want you to give in’ ✩

tension raised and so did their body heat. y/n’s hand was firmly pushed on his chest but she didn’t actually push him away, she just liked having the chance to have her hand lay there. she felt her heartbeats get louder within each second, chest heaving at how close he’s been getting.

✩ ‘there is tension between us’ ✩

“this is not like you, sunghoon.” her brows furrowed more. “you can’t be acting like this.”

“i can’t?” he cracked with a shit eating grin. “and why can’t i?”

his head cocked to the side before questioning with his eyes. “isn’t it better for us to act like this than us acting like enemies?” he inched his lips closer once more, letting just heavy breaths be audible to ears.

✩ ‘i just wanna give in’ ✩

y/n’s hands finally pushed against his chest. “control yourself, park. you’re not my boyfriend.” she repeated, face becoming stern.

“control myself?” he laughingly mocked. “you don’t know how much i’ve been doing that in front of you. i’ve been holding myself back this entire time from doing more, and you want me to control myself, now?”

✩ ‘it’s been a secret for the longest time’ ✩

sunghoon’s grip tightened around her shoulders once more, pressing her harder against the wall.

“look at me, pretty girl.” he spoke, letting one of his hands hold onto her chin.

y/n gulped. her heart dropped to the pit of her stomach at the sudden name change. she’s never seen this side of him before. it was new and unfamiliar, and she liked it.

✩ ‘i need you more than i want to’ ✩

hesitantly, she let her eyes fall on him.

he jerkily smiled, enjoying how his academic rival had now fallen under his touch.

“control myself?” sunghoon restated. “fine, i’ll control myself.”

he quickly backed away, grip loosening and letting go. he watched her fall into ease, hands clenching onto her chest to stop her rapid heartbeats.

a sly smirk curled onto his lips as he raised his brows. “see you tomorrow, nerd.” he uttered, walking away soon afterward so he could have the last say.

y/n stayed still in her stance. her sense of touch almost went numb as she tried to process all of what happened.

she suddenly felt her phone buzzing, indicating that her friend group was calling. her brows pinched together before declining the call, and texting that she’d join when she’d get home.

a breath of air left her mouth once she found a text notification from her rival, sunghoon.

park 👎🏼:

Let’s talk soon, pretty girl.

I don’t think I could ever control myself around you.

nothing would ever be the same between the two again.

★・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・★

[riowritesitall]

Let’s make a bet

Christopher Sturniolo x Reader x Nathan duo

Request:Yes/No

Warnings:smut blindfold, bondage threesome

A/n: English is not my first language so be nice to me, please.(also this is not proofread) I know it not that good but I was having really bad cramps and my period just started so I was trying to get done as possible.

words count : 2,286

Synopsis: Chris and Nate make up bet on who can make you come faster.

One week ago

(Chris's POV)

You are so Fucking bad at this game bro” Nate yelled through the headset as we lost again

“Fuck off dude the last 4 games you die first at least I can last more than 5 min,” I said as we loaded the next game up. Trying not to yell with my girlfriend in my bed behind me.

“Well at least I can last longer the 5 min in bed” Nate snapback

“Yeah right and when was the last time you were in bed with someone I bet you can't even make a girl cum ” I say as the game finally starts

“I bet I can make your girl cum faster than you can,” he says back with a chuckle

“You want to bet,” I said as I looked over at my girlfriend sleeping on the bed

“Let's make a bet if she's up to it next week when I see you guys in la if I can make her cum faster that I can have a night with her and you can say anything,” he says the game slowly being forgotten

“You know what nathen fine as long as she says yes but if when I win you have to watch me fuck her with your hands tied up,” I say shaking my head

“Deal Christopher Deal ask her now,” Nate says

“Fine,” I say as I turn around in my char seeing that she is still asleep “Hey ma” I see well softly kissing and shaking her

“What's wrong baby” she said half asleep

“I need to ask you a favor,” I say as I stroke her thigh

“ just ask Chris,” she says as she snuggles into my neck

“So Nate and I were talking and we came up with a bet on who could make you cum the fastest if he wins he gets to have his way with you but if I win he has to watch me fuck you with his hands tied up,” I say as I feel her to clench her thighs together

“I can feel you clenching your thighs do you like that idea, pretty girl huh,” I ask before I hear her wine

“Hey pretty girl you know the rules when I talk to you I expect you to use your words,” I say as I grab her jaw making her look at me

“Yeah Chris is ok with it,” she says looking me in my eyes

“Ok'll let him know ma,” I say letting go of her jaw and walking over to my desktop

“She said yea Nate,” I say once I put my headphones back on

“I know I heard her sluty little noise,” Nate said bake at me

“Ok whatever ever man be ready to lose next week,” I say as I go to hang up the call

Present day

(Your pov)

I was sitting in the back seat next to my boyfriend Chris slowly falling asleep on him “Why Nate had to get a plane at 3 am I don't know” I thought to myself. His brothers Matt and Nick get out to help Nate put his stuff in the back. Nate sits in the seat next to me as Matt and Nick get back into the car.

“Are you cold Nate?” Chris said as he lifted the blanket that was on our laps so he could move under it.

Thanks, bro he said as he moved closer to me. Just as I was about to fall back asleep I felt 2 hands on my thighs one from Nate and one from Chris. I felt Chris slowly pull down my sweats and panties

“ make sure to stay quiet sweat girl’ Nate whispers in my ear as he starts to rub my clit with his thumb

“You better not cum in till we get home and the competition begins mama do u understand,” my boyfriend says as he slowly pumps two fingers in and out of me

“I think he asked you a question pretty girl answer him now,” Nate said pushing hard on me

“Yes I understand sir,” I say quietly out of breath

“Good girl,”l Chris says as he speeds up the pace

“Too much too much I'm going to cum” I whimper out as both boys go fast and hard before weather boy could say something Matt asks if the three of us what to go home when Nick and he go get galoshes for the week

“Yeah thanks, bro I'm sleepy,” Nate says as pulls his hand away from me

“Ok,” he says he says as he pulls onto our street

“Thank you, Matt,” I say as I unbuckle the Seat belt

“Yeah thanks, dude,” Chris says getting out of the car after Matt parks

As soon as we get into the house I'm shoved up against the door with lips shoved up against mine

“Ok bro calm down the game has not even started yet can you at least wait in till we get up stares to make out with my girlfriend,” Chris says pushing past us in order to lock the door

“Sorry man but iv been waiting all week to taste her and you have her any time you please,” Nate says getting off of me and dragging me up to my and Chris’s room by my arm

“So how are we going to do this” Chris says entering the room after us

“I was thinking that we both eat her out with a timer to see who makes her cum the fastest,” Nate says slmoving a hand up my shirt as we sit on Chris’s bed.

“I like that idea but I think that we should blind her so that she knows who it is can't change the time,” Chris says smacking nates hand away from me

“Good idea Christopher go get something,” Nate says going bake under my shirt

“The only reason you want me to get it is so that you can feel me girlfriend up don't act smart little boy,” he said getting up and grabbing a bandana

“Are you at with this baby girl” nate says as he plays with my nipples

“Yea it ok” i say in a shaky breath

“Good” I hear Chris say as ties the bandanna over my eyes

I feel a hand slowly guide me to lay down on the bed and another one slowly take my pants and panties off. right as I get comfortable in the bed, I feel a tongue lick up my folds and two hands wrap around my thighs, keeping me in place. The tongues, lots of slowly go up and down, making me moan and grab the sheets beneath me. I feel the tongue slowly start to circle my clit and two fingers enter me going in and out at a painfully slow pace. The tongue slowly started to go faster as well as the fingers as they started to curl at just t the right spot. I could feel the knot in my stomach slowly start to form as I start letting out loud whiny moans

“Are you about to cum pretty girl” i hear a voice say from in between thighs I let out a shaky moan before I feel a smack all the inside on my thigh

“I asked you a question I expect an answer sweetheart” the voice says

“Yes yes” I yell as I get closer and closer

“Go ahead baby” he said right before I cum

“Five minutes” I hear a voice from next to me say

“Think you could do better than that”, the voice from in between my thighs, says as I feel him getting up

“Yeah, much better”. The Voice from next to me, says as he moves to my thighs.

Just as I was about to move, I feel a new set of hands on my thighs, slowly, kissing up to my soaked heat. Sucking hickeys as he slowly pings his thumb up to my clit. I felt the thumb slowly circle my clit as I felt a tongue enter me. The tongue slowly started to go faster and faster as the thumb was replaced by his nose stimulating my clit. I reached down to grab his hair when I felt the knot and my stomach slowly started to grow again. when I grabbed his hair, I could feel the person in between my thighs, let out a moan which made a vibration that made me snap.

“5 minutes and 5 seconds I win Christopher” somebody says next to me that I now know was Nate as he takes off my blindfold

“Fuck Ma you couldn’t have been five seconds faster” my boyfriend says from in between my thighs when I look at him.

“No, you don’t gotta talk to her. I win so you can sit in the chair in the corner and wait” I hear Nate say before he stands up

“Fine whatever” Chris says. He walked over and sits in his gaming chair.

I watch Nate as he slowly walks over to Chris’s closet and grabs one more bandanna. before he walks over to Chris standing in front of him.

“What are you doing with those?” Chris says, pointing at the two bandannas

“I’ve decided that you don’t get to touch yourself when you watch me destroy your girl” Nate says before tying Chris his hands to the arms of the gaming char

“That’s not fucking fair dude that was my bet not yours” Chris says trying to break from the restraints

“Well, maybe if you didn’t lose, you would be the one tying me up right now” Nate says chuckling as he slowly walks towards me

“Hey pretty girl are you ready to be fucking destroyed as your boyfriend watches?” he says before starting to suck on my neck. I bring my hand up to my mouth to try and muffle my sounds

“No don’t hide your pretty sounds for me. Let your boyfriend hear how much of a slut you are getting off to your boyfriend’s best friend” he says, ripping my hand from my mouth

“Can I take this off baby” he says, tugging on the rim of my shirt

“Yes Nate” I say before I feel my shirt over my head

“Good girl” he says, turning me around

“Now I want you to look at your boyfriend while I fuck you do you think you could do that for me pretty girl? he says as he slowly moves my hips up and loves his fingers up and down my folds.

“Yea” I say with a moan

“You’re so wet I don’t even think I need to prep you. What a slut.” he says, as I hear him unzip his pants. I feel him slowly enter me before quickly going in and out. I start to moan when I feel him grab my hair and pulled me back so that my back is against his chest. I can see the tent slowly starting to grow in my boyfriend‘s pants as I moan out his best friends name. Nate quickly starts to suck hickeys into my neck again as he raps his hand around my body and starts to choke me roughly.

“Fuck please let me out Nate please” Chris as he shoves his hips into the air

“Did I say you could fucking talk Chris I don’t think I did” he says, picking up the pace behind me, reaching my hand down to play with my nipple while the other one continues to choke me as I let out whiny high-pitched moans.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum” I say as his movements start to get sloppy

“You better not” he says, shoving me onto the bed and moving me to be on the floor in front of Chris

“Take his pants off mama” he says, shoving my head into Chris’s clothed crotch

I move my hand up to slowly take his sweats and boxes off, and that my hand around his hard cock slowly moving up and down while I suck on his red tip. before I could take all of him, I feel Nate shows back in to me. which makes me deep throat Chris.

“Fuck just like that mama good girl” Chris says in a high-pitched moan

I feel nates hand, go down to pitch my clit before I let out a muffled moan against Chris. I feel Nate gets sloppy again before I hear him say” just a little longer baby I want you to come with me.”

I proceeded to suck Chris off as I feel that not my stomach start to grow more and more. Before I pulled off of Chris and moan. “ i’m about to cum”

“Me too” Chris says from above me buckle his hips back up into my mouth

I feel Nate grown as his warm cum shoots me and our I follow shortly after. Before I feel Chris shoot his cum down my throat

I feel Nate pick me up and lay me on the bed before going to untie Chris and helping him walk down next to me.

I watch as he goes to the bathroom and gets a washcloth, wiping both of us down

“You did so good”” my boyfriend says stroking my hair

As Nate goes to get us some clothes and water

“Yeah, she was perfect” he says as he returns putting the boxers and T-shirt on me and the water on the nightstand next to me. Before helping helping Chris put his clothes on and getting into bed beside me.

“Good night baby” Chris says in to my chest as the 3 of us cuddle to sleep

Hope you enjoyed

Tag list

@sturnsbabie

@sturniolobltch

@riasturns

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[imaginespazzi]

Part 1: Don't Be A Stranger

Masterlist - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7

But if (my) world was ending, you'd come over right?

(In which UCLA anon's roman empire became this writer's roman empire and we've finally reached the beginning)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: Angst, Pining, Hurt/Comfort and a little bit of Fluff

Words: 8.4 K (other parts will be shorter....maybe)

TW: Swearing, Alcohol, Injuries, Alludes to Sexual Content

A/N: Hello my lovelies <3 Gonna keep this as short and sweet as possible but we've finally, finally gotten to the UCLA fic. A huge shout out to UCLA anon, because this is their master idea. Couple of things, I've never been to LA or UCLA and therefore some things are out of whack. The timeline is also a little out of whack but I swear I will try to keep it as consistent as possible. In the mean time, just ignore some of the inconsistencies pretty please. As always, feel free to let me know what's bad, what's good and what else you'd like to see. I hope y'all enjoy this first part and let's get another W today!

August 2021

where are you 

i literally have to be at the airport in an hour paige where are you 

dude 

are you on your way?

you better be driving and that’s why you’re not answering 

PAIGE

i’m sorry about last night i shouldn’t have said that 

but you said a lot of shit too so call it even?

this isn’t funny where are you?

i have to leave in 15 mins 

are you actually not coming?

wtf????

this is actually bullshit

get over yourself bueckers 

wow 

fuck you

just landed 

thought you might like to know 

sorry my plane didn’t crash i guess 

September 2021

dude enough okay 

can you just call me back??

i just wanna talk 

i know you're mad i get it but i miss you   

November 2021 

hi i’mma be in dc over christmas

nvm 

idk why i’m trying again  

maybe i should block you 

this is kinda pathetic of me what the fuck 

December 2021

i thought i saw you today but idk

couldn’t have been you cause if it was 

would you really not even say hi?

i’m done trying paige 

merry christmas i guess

March 2022 

i misz you 

lyke a wot

love uuuuu pppppp

even if ur a bwtich 

pkese pick up 

ignore that 

people drunk text exes apparently i drunk text you 

wait 

i don’t need to tell you that 

you already ignore it all anyways

 

August 2022 

i heard about the acl 

i’m sorry 

idk if it means anything, but if you wanna talk

nvm 

***

September 2022 

When the doorbell rings, on a quiet Thursday afternoon during a rare moment of alone time, Paige expects it to be a lot of people. One of her parents deciding that they actually weren’t going to leave her alone. Someone else in her family showing up out of the blue to provide comfort. Maybe one of her teammates popping up to keep her entertained. She even thinks it might be some random fan who got too invested and figured out the address for her air BnB. It’s the saddest testament to how broken they are, that the idea of it being Azzi Fudd standing outside her door, never once crosses her mind. But there she is, when Paige opens the door, dressed in ripped jean shorts and a light blue tank top, the girl that had been her best friend, and maybe a little bit more. 

Silence stretches between them as Azzi fidgets with her hands and Paige continues to stoically stare at her. It’s been almost a year since they’ve seen each other, even longer since they’d last shared a happy smile. And you’d have to go back to before she’d told her about her future plans, to find the last time Azzi had properly looked Paige in the eyes.  

“Hi,” Azzi says finally, mustering up a small smile. Paige doesn’t know if hearing that voice, soft and subdued but still so familiar, fixes a crack or breaks her heart even further. She wills herself to be polite in response, to match Azzi’s polite greeting with a greeting of her own. But there’s clear discord between her mouth and her head, because her words are harsh and hollowed. 

“What are you doing here?”

Azzi swallows, smile disappearing as she immediately digs her fingernails into her palms and Paige feels the guilt settle into her stomach. It’s like the night before all over again. If she closes her eyes, Paige can still hear her voice loudly echoing in Azzi’s childhood bedroom. She can hear the angry words that she’d hurled at her best friend, each one like a well-aimed arrow piercing the other’s girl's heart and tearing into Paige’s own soul. Some would call what she’d done self-preservation. She’d call it her biggest mistake. 

“I um-,” Azzi sucks in her bottom lip, “I was in the area and thought, maybe I’d check in.”

“How did you even know where I was?” Paige hates how cold and accusatory her voice sounds. It’s a version of herself she doesn’t quite know how to deal with, one that hasn’t ever appeared for anyone other than the girl in front of her, “I know I didn’t tell you.”

Any semblance of calm is gone from Azzi’s face, as she seems to realise that she’s not going to be getting any cordiality from her old friend. 

 “And we’re off to a great start,” she mutters under her breath before replying to Paige’s exact question, “no you didn’t. Your dad-”

“You talked to my dad?”

“Yeah. I mean you know Drew looks up to Jon and José so much and they still talk and stuff and he came over- Drew I mean- and then your dad was there and we just got to talking and you came up and yeah. He told me and well I live here, kinda, so I thought- well I thought maybe you’d like some company?”

As Azzi’s rambling explanation comes to an end, Paige doesn’t miss the tinge of hopefulness in her voice at the last bit. The younger girl shuffles her feet, as she stares at the blonde expectantly. 

“I don’t-” Paige struggles to draw in a breath as the voices in her head argue, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Her words are met with silence as Azzi stares at her blankly. 

“I- you,” she blinks rapidly, clearly at a loss for what to say at the blatant rejection, “I can’t come in?”

“It’s just- I’ve had a lot of people visit you know,” Paige bullshits, suddenly feeling very exhausted, “and my family were here a couple days and my friends are coming soon and-”

“And I’m neither of those things,” Azzi says, her tone low and breathy. 

“That’s not what-”

“It is,” Azzi closes her eyes for a brief second, when she opens them, the flash of hurt in them feels like a dagger through Paige’s chest, “it is like that and it is what you meant and it’s- it’s fine.”

“Az-” Paige chokes out, feeling her lungs collapse when the other girl moves to leave, “please,” and she’s not even sure she’s asking for, but it’s not this. It’s never been this.

Azzi stops and when she turns back around, there’s a determined look on her face.

“I just-” she rubs her face, composing herself before focusing her eyes on Paige, “you’re the strongest person I know. And you’re going to come back from this, better than ever. I know it. The whole world knows it. Because you’re Paige Bueckers. You’re something else.  You’re the hardest worker, you’re just- you’re the best.”

“You don’t-”

“Just- just let me finish okay and then, then I’ll go or whatever but Paige, you’re all of those things you know? Strong, brave, the best fucking player- but, it’s also okay if sometimes-, if sometimes you aren’t. It’s okay because this- this is hard, I know it is. So if sometimes you’re not strong or-, or brave- or not feeling like working hard- it’s okay. And if there are moments where you- where you want to give up, that’s okay too. It doesn’t make you- it doesn’t make you any less than what you are. It just makes you human, and it’s okay you know- to be human. It’s okay if- if you hurt and it’s okay if you’re not okay. It’s- it’s okay.”

The two girls stare at each other, eyes shining with tears, as Paige let’s Azzi’s words wash over her. She’s been told a lot of platitudes about her injury, from her coaches to her teammates to her family. And she knows she has plenty of people in her corner, who root for her and who genuinely do believe she’ll have the greatest comeback ever. But the motivational speeches get draining after a while and all she’s wanted to do for the last couple of weeks is wallow. Then she felt guilty about wallowing, that little voice in her head yelling at her to be productive and work on getting back to herself because that’s what everybody expected. Paige hadn’t even realised how badly she needed someone to give her permission to not be okay, not until the only person who’d ever known that part of her, had finally said the words she so desperately needed to hear.

The thing is, when she was younger, Paige used to keep everything bottled inside. She’d always been hyper aware of her privilege and her problems had always just seemed so insignificant in front of her parents’ or her friends. So she’d kept them to herself, trapping herself in a web of her own burdens that sometimes threatened to strangle her. And then she’d met a girl at a USA basketball camp when she was 15, a girl who had gently flicked her fingers and Paige’s walls had fallen like dominoes. She hadn’t even known she was drowning, until Azzi had shown up with a lifeboat.

“I just-,” Azzi breaks Paige out of her trance by breaking the eye contact between them, “I didn’t know if anybody had said that to you yet and I just- I wanted you to hear it.”

In the span of a minute, a thousand and one phrases take birth in Paige’s mind and then die on the tip of her tongue. She opens and closes her mouth, trying to express even one of the myriad of emotions that are swirling like a tornado in her brain. But nothing comes out except a litany of incomprehensible noises. And Azzi seems to find the wrong answer in the silence, giving the blonde a timid nod. 

“Take care of yourself P,” her voice catches on the familiar nickname, as she shoots Paige a sad smile, before beginning to walk away. When Azzi chose UCLA, she’d lit Paige's heart on fire. So, Paige had drowned their friendship. And while all this time Azzi has struggled to breathe, Paige has burned but god, is she so fucking tired of it. 

“Fuck, Azzi wait,” Paige curses, hobbling to catch up to the brunette, who stops with a sigh but doesn’t make a move to return. Stubborn as always, Paige thinks, continuing her way over. When she does catch up, she’s not fully sure what to say and so,  “I uh- I’m out of milk.”

Azzi raises her eyebrows in question, crossing her arms protectively around her chest. 

“I can’t drive,” Paige explains slowly, “or walk obviously.”

Realisation dawns on Azzi’s face, “you’re asking me to drive you to the grocery store?”

“I guess,” Paige shrugs, trying to be nonchalant. 

“Seems like the kind of favour someone asks of their family, or their friends,” Azzi emphasises bitterly, never one to let go of an opportunity for sarcasm. 

Paige flinches, “right, I kinda deserved that one.”

She gets a raised eyebrow in response that very much says “ya think?”

“I’m trying here,” she says quietly, and Azzi’s hard demeanour softens, “I’m raising a white flag Az, calling a truce or whatever but it kinda needs to go both ways.” 

“What do you think me coming here was supposed to be?” the younger girl says exasperatedly, but she’s smiling again. It’s the third one Paige has gotten out of her today, and finally, she smiles back. They look a little foolish, standing in the apartment hallway, cheshire-cat-grinning at each other like idiots, but it feels like something has clicked into place again.  

“I’ll go grab my wallet, you go heat up the car.”

“It’s like 110 degrees dude.”

“Bro shut up, you know what I mean,” Paige huffs and when it makes Azzi laugh, she feels like she’s floating. It’s not as if she hasn’t been happy in a year because won’t you look at that, her world did keep turning after that one decision. But this is different. She feels airy and light, like she could jump off a cliff and fly instead of fall. 

“Well hurry up, I have things to do outside of just being your chauffeur.”

“Poor passenger princess, how the roles have reversed,” Paige mocks and it earns her an ever so familiar fond eye roll and for the first time in a year, she feels free. 

***

When she gets downstairs, Azzi’s leaning against her car door, a pair of sunglasses shielding her eyes. The hot California sun shines brightly against her tan skin, and Paige’s heart stutters because fuck, Azzi is golden. She looks every bit reminiscent of the girl Paige still has memorised and yet, every bit the promise of a girl Paige wants to learn by heart. 

“Nice car,” Paige smirks, alerting the younger girl of her presence.  

“It does the job,” Azzi says, looking up with a smile of her own, opening the passenger door for Paige to get in, “not all of us are raking in NIL deals to get the big guns, but we make do.”

“Steph Curry brand ambassador say what now?” the blonde girl teases as she slides into the car. When she looks up, Azzi’s frozen in place, “what?”

“Nothing I just-” she’s wearing sunglasses, but Paige knows Azzi's trying to avert her gaze, “I’m kinda surprised you know that.”

It’s Paige’s turn to look away, their newfound comfort giving away to that old awkwardness, “I keep up with most basketball news.”

To Azzi’s credit she doesn’t push. Instead, she makes her way into the driver seat without another sound. She’s about to connect her phone to the aux but Paige beats her to it. 

“Hey,” Azzi squeals, making grabby hands, “my car, my rules, my music.”

“Nuh-uh injury privileges,” Paige gloats, sticking out her tongue. 

“That’s not a thing.”

“Is too.”

“Fine, we’ll listen to your crap music.”

“I resent that,” Paige retorts, as Drake blasts through the speakers. The sound of it makes Azzi groan, and she dramatically bangs her head against the steering wheel. Paige spends the rest of the car ride singing at the top of her lungs. Azzi spends the rest of the car ride alternating between shaking her head and joining in with the singing. It’s like they’re back in 2020 all over again, back before they found themselves in the whirlwind of life, back when they were just Paige and Azzi.

*** 

Their trip inside the grocery store takes less time than the ride to get there, even if Paige takes her time dilly-dallying in the dairy section, pretending she’s going to get anything other than just regular milk. She’s overly conscious of the fact that their time together might be coming to an end, that this time she might actually have to deal with saying goodbye. But she’s not ready to go back to missing Azzi just yet. 

“Maybe you can show me your dorm,” she says quietly, once they're both back in the car, playing with the hem of her shirt. Beside her, Azzi draws in a sharp intake of breath, clearly not having expected Paige to want that of all things. In all honesty, the idea of stepping into the world that had stolen Azzi from her is not all that appealing to Paige but she wants to hold onto this moment just a little bit longer. 

“You wanna see my dorm?” 

“A chance to see how the non-blue blood peasants live? I’d never pass it up.”

“Non blue blood,” Azzi scoffs, "Ever heard of John Wooden?”

“I was talking about women’s basketball but yeah I have heard of him. I won the award last year. Over you,” Paige smirks, wiggling her eyebrows. 

“Not everyone’s a phenom their freshman year,” Azzi retorts fondly, unable to mask the hint of pride in her voice. 

“Well we’ll see this year-” Paige stops herself, cold seeping into her lungs, as she remembers why she’s in the stupid state of California in the first place. The lighthearted mood in the car goes tumbling out the window as her words hang like a dagger in the air. 

“Paige,” Azzi whispers, trying to wrap that one syllable in comfort. She reaches out to touch the blonde’s shoulder but must think better of it because her hand hovers mid-air for a second, before she pulls it back. Paige is suddenly hyper aware of the fact they haven’t touched yet. It’s a reminder of the fact that whatever progress they’ve made today, there’s still so much they haven’t even begun to unpack. 

“It’s fine,” Paige’s voice is steely, “just drive.”

Azzi opens and closes her mouth a couple of times, before simply nodding and starting the ignition. She’s clearly holding back and Paige doesn’t know how to feel about it. There’s a part of her that wants Azzi to push her to talk like she would before, but there's another part of her that knows this new rope they’re trying to string between them is fragile. 

They ride in silence to Azzi’s apartment, both of them too caught up in their own thoughts to bother with music this time. As the UCLA campus nears, Paige can’t help but hate it just a little bit. She’s aware she’s being petty. Acting like Storrs, Connecticut is some hub of beauty is probably a stretch of the imagination for anyone but she’s determined to dislike this place out of principle.

“Hmm not too shabby but like where’s the fucking cows?” Paige jokes, as the car comes to a stop in front of Azzi’s apartment building. She steps out gingerly, pretending to inspect her surroundings, making tsk-tsk noises at the most random things. 

“I’ve seen your apartment Bueckers, don’t even try,” Azzi retorts. 

It shouldn’t surprise Paige to see one of Azzi’s teammates when they enter her living room. It’s just like UConn really in the sense that there’s always someone there when you walk in but something about seeing Charisma Osborne just chilling in Azzi’s space suddenly makes it more real that the younger girl is definitely a UCLA Bruin. 

“Oh,” Charisma gives Paige a once-over, clearly not having expected to see her, “hi Paige.”

Paige waves, shuffling her weight on her crutches, unsure what to say. It’s not like she doesn’t know Charisma, they’ve literally won a gold medal together for USA basketball. She’s even met the girl a couple of times after and she likes her, she does. But her bitter brain is focused on the fact that this is one of those girls who had gotten Azzi as their teammate, one of the girls who got to see Azzi everyday. All things Paige had not gotten. 

“You didn’t tell me you were bringing company Az,” Charisma says pointedly, looking at Azzi and Paige bristles at the use of the nickname. She’s being all sorts of ridiculous but at least she’s self-aware of it. 

“Last minute decisions,” Azzi replies airily. The two girls lock eyes and Paige can tell they’re having some sort of unspoken conversation and now the green-eyed envy monster is out in full force. 

“I insisted on seeing her dorm,” she says finally, breaking into whatever staring competition the two UCLA guards are having. 

“It’s not a problem,” Charisma reassures, standing up from her position on the couch, and coming over to give Paige a tentative hug, “I just didn’t know you were coming. But it’s good to see you, Paige.”

“Yeah,” Paige tries to muster up a proper smile as she leans in to return the hug but it comes out more like a grimace, “you too.”

“We’re gonna go chill in my room,” Azzi says, beckoning to one of the doors in the hallways and Paige obediently follows her, waving a half-hearted goodbye to Charisma. She’s secretly pleased to have Azzi back to herself. 

The room is nothing out of the ordinary except it has Azzi all over it. She’s in the pink comforter that is thrown haphazardly over a clearly not made bed. She’s in the unicorn plushies laid delicately over a dark blue couch. She’s in the little flower stickers that outline the mirror on the far side of the room. There’s a wall dedicated solely to pictures and fairy lights on one side and Paige is immediately drawn to it. A familiar ache reverberates in her chest as her eyes flicker over the pictures of Azzi’s family. She’s missed them. Then there’s the photographs of Azzi in her UCLA uniform, her teammates surrounding her and Paige has to resist the dangerous urge to rip those off the wall. Be happy for her happiness, the logical part of her brain yells, not seeming to realise she’d left any chance of that in the dirt a year ago. As she tears her eyes away from those offending pictures, they land instead on a whole other set of photographs and she feels her heart catch in her throat. 

It’s a set of three images of her and Azzi, taken at various moments. Paige brushes her thumb against the one of the two of them with their arms around each other at the Minnesota  state fair. Azzi’s beaming at the camera and Paige is beaming at Azzi. They look so young, so naive, so happy. 

“I’m on your wall,” Paige breathes out, turning to face her best friend, “Fuck, I’m on you wall.”

“Of course you are,” Azzi affirms, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world but she shuffles nervously, giving away the reality behind her stable demeanour. 

“I never answered your texts. I didn’t call you back,” Paige lists quietly as the first tear falls from her eyes; she’s been holding them back all day, “and I’m on your fucking wall.”

Azzi looks away, unsure how to deal with the fact that apparently they’re no longer tip-toeing around the past. She doesn’t know how to tell the blonde that there had never really been a second thought about whether or not those photos were going up on the wall.

“Doesn’t matter,” she shrugs finally, “you’re my best friend. You’re always gonna be my best friend. Ride or die right?”

“Ride or die,” Paige repeats in a whisper before she all but throws herself at Azzi, practically moulding herself into the younger girl’s body. Caught off guard, Azzi stiffens for a second, before relaxing into it. It’s late outside and the sun has set, but in this moment, the world shines the brightest it has in a year as two stubborn girls finally find their way home to each other. 

***

That night, Azzi asks her tentatively if she wants to stay over and of course Paige agrees. Lying awake next to a familiar stranger, she lets herself finally remember the day things had first started unravelling.

November 2020

“You’ll probably get one of the upstairs apartments, so we probably won’t actually be living together which is good because can you imagine if I had to see your goofy ass 24/7?” Paige puts a dramatic hand to her forehead, as she leads Azzi into her room.

She’s too caught up in her excitement having Azzi at UConn, and planning what’ll happen next year, to notice that the girl in question isn’t participating at all in her enthusiasm. Paige has been waiting for what feels like a year (in reality it’s only been a few months) to finally have her best friend come visit. The minute the car had pulled up, she’d taken it upon herself to start her sales pitch all over again, missing the sympathetic smiles she’d gotten from the rest of the Fudd family as she pulled Azzi away to show her the glories of the campus. 

“Did you see my assist to Christyn today?” Paige gloats, falling onto her bed with a smirk. 

“It was pretty great,” Azzi concedes. 

“It was fucking perfect thank you very much. I set her up perfectly, exactly how she likes it.”

“Right.”

“And then did you see how excited the team was for her? For everyone? Never gonna find a greater group of girls.”

“They seem wonderful P.”

Paige furrows her eyebrows as she catches Azzi still lingering by the door instead of joining her on the bed. The brunette fidgets with the sleeve of her sweater, chewing on her lips.

“Are you allergic to my bed?” Paige waits for some smartass response. When she doesn’t get one, she frowns, instincts going haywire, “Az, you good?”

“I- '' Azzi looks away, swallowing nervously, “I need to tell you something and I- I’m not sure how you’re gonna react.” 

“You get a boyfriend or a girlfriend or something in the last few months that I don’t know about?” She says it light-heartedly enough, but the thought of it sends a sharp sting through Paige’s heart. In hindsight, she thinks maybe she could have dealt with it having been that. 

“What? No. Just- just don’t- dont take it personally okay. Like you can be upset about it but- but don’t hold it against me yeah? My parents- they said- they said you’d get it. You’d be upset but you’d- you’d get it because you- you get me right?”

Paige’s chest hammers as she watches the younger girl draw in a deep breath, “you’re scaring the shit out of me right now.”

“I’mcommittingtoUCLA” Azzi says all in one breath, the words blending together. 

She’s sure she’s heard it wrong. There’s no way. After all this time, after all their conversations, all the pitches, how hard she had worked, there was no way this was going to be the end to all of Paige’s efforts. 

“What?” she whispers, crossing her fingers that she has in fact misheard. 

When Azzi averts her eyes, she knows she hasn’t, “I’m committing to UCLA.”

The first time Paige and Azzi met was somewhat awkward, what with Azzi’s shyness and Paige being slightly overeager to make a new friend. When they’d become bus buddies, they’d progressed to being casual acquaintances who could small talk and share smiles. And then the flight back to Minnesota happened and everything had changed. Every moment after was filled with conversation or laughs or a comfortable silence. Until this one, where the sudden silence between them foreshadows an ominous future.

“Say something,” Azzi says finally, her voice shaking. 

Paige stares at her for a second before, “you named your dog Stewie.”

“What?”

“You named your dog Stewie. After Breanna Stewart who played at UConn. It’s not-” Paige wracks her brain, hands flying animatedly “it’s not Meyers or something, after someone who played at fucking UCLA. You named your dog after a UConn great. How are you going to take him to UCLA with you?”

Azzi stares at her, clearly not having expected that level of questioning of all things. Who could blame her when Paige herself feels a little insane. 

“This is a joke right? You’re fucking with me? Ha ha ha very funny,” she claps deliriously,  “hilarious prank seriously, like hats off you’ve outdone yourself but enough okay? Say sike right fucking now.”

Azzi makes a strangled noise, “it’s not a joke Paige. That’s- that’s my decision.”

“Then change it,” Paige yells, catapulting off the bed.

“Paige-”

“Have you told UCLA yet?”

“I wanted to tell my family and you first.”

“Oh wow, how kind of you. How fucking generous of you to do that Azzi,” Paige bites back sarcastically and Azzi flinches. 

In a flash, Paige’s expression goes from angry to desperate, “you still have time to change your mind . Please just- just think about it again okay? You still have so much time and you know what, stay here for a couple more days. Spend time with the team, with the coaches, with me and you’ll see-. UCLA just sounds nice you know? California, the sun, I get it, of course it’s tempting. But just- just stay here okay? And you’ll see this is where you belong,” she leaves the, with me, unsaid. 

“Paige,” Azzi’s voice cracks. She takes a step toward her and then pauses. It’s the first time in a long time that Azzi’s hesitated when it comes to Paige. It won’t be the last. And when she looks at Paige through her long eyelashes, tears threatening to fall from her dark brown eyes, Paige knows she’s lost. 

“No,” she’s pacing now, chest heaving up and down in a combination of frustration, anger and misery, “this is not fucking happening. We’re not doing this. I made you a whole recruitment video. Did you watch it? Do you know how long it took me to make it? Has the last year been a fucking joke to you?”

“Of course not-”

“Don’t even. Because clearly- clearly it has. Must’ve been hilarious watching me beg and plead with you when you already fucking knew you were going to committ somewhere else.”

“That’s not fair,”  Azzi’s voice rises at the accusation, “I had no idea where I was going until a couple of weeks ago. You can’t seriously think that low of me.”

“Not fair? You know what’s not fair, Azzi? We’ve been talking about playing together, about finally being on the same team, the same fucking state, for years. What’s not fair is you throwing all of that away on a whim.”

“I’m not committing to UCLA on a whim. This is my whole future we’re talking about. You don’t even know how much thought I’ve put into it. And I’m choosing what’s best for me. You can’t hold that against me Paige. You can’t.”

They stand on opposite sides of the room, taking in harsh staggered breaths and glaring at each other. The tension in the room is electric as the string connecting them frays. Paige and Azzi bicker, they don’t argue. Or at least, that’s how it used to be. 

“Az?” their stare down is broken by a knock on the door as Katie Fudd lets herself in. Immediately, as she stares between her daughter and the girl who’d become just as important, Katie knows what has happened, “we’re going back to the air BnB, are you staying here?”

The answer should be obvious, like it used to be. Of course she would stay here. It was meant to be a no-brainer. But before Azzi can say that, Paige intervenes and the string snaps. 

“She’s going with you,” the blonde says firmly, before turning her back. She won’t let Azzi see the tears, she won’t. For her part, the brunette stares at Paige’s back silently for a couple of seconds, before a mask of determination slips on. 

“Fine. If that’s what you fucking want,” Azzi sneers before brushing past her mom, eager to get away and hide her own tears. 

When Paige turns back around, Katie is already looking at her. The older woman walks the length of the room and pulls the younger girl into a hug that she readily melts into. Paige sniffles as Azzi’s mom soothingly rubs her back. 

“We’re driving back tomorrow morning,” Katie whispers quietly into Paige’s hair, “I know you’re mad sweetheart but come say goodbye okay?”

And she does. She shows up with only half an hour or so remaining before Azzi leaves, but Paige shows up. They hug stiffly, exchanging maybe a sentence or two but in that moment it’s enough. They’ll call later when Azzi gets home and it’ll be awkward for a little bit but they’ll break through. They’ll figure out a way to go on without having to talk about the “big thing”. They’ll hold on as long as they can, until they can’t anymore. 

***

September 2022

After the night Paige stays over at Azzi’s apartment, they're attached at the hip for the next few weeks, just like old times. They’ve fallen into a routine of sorts. Azzi shows up without fail every day after practice to pick Paige up from her rehab, and then the rest of the younger girl’s time is Paige’s. The first time she’d seen the brunette leaning casually against her car, Paige had had to stop herself from jumping into her arms. She’d played it as nonchalant as possible, joking about Azzi being stalker, but inside, she could feel it again, the dangerously familiar tap of this is all I’ll ever need. 

On days Paige doesn’t have rehab, Azzi still shows up right on time on her doorstep with a board game or food or something.  It’s gotten to the point where every time the doorbell rings, Paige opens it expecting Azzi. The couple times it’s not, she tries and fails to hide the disappointment on her face. It earns her an eye roll from the delivery guy but it’s worth it for the laugh it elicits from Azzi when she tells her the story. They fall back together as if they’d never fallen apart. And what’s more terrifying than finding out that she’d never truly gotten over old Azzi, is realising how easy it would be to fall in love with new Azzi. 

When Caroline, Nika and Piath come to visit the weekend after, all three of them can immediately tell that something's changed. Their teammate seems lighter, as if she’s finally found a sense of calm. But their incessant prodding and raised eyebrows are only met with shrugs from a tight-lipped Paige. It isn’t until Azzi calls, and Nika snatches the phone out of Paige’s hands, gasping at the callerID, that they finally figure out why their point guard has a new kick in her step. 

“You should invite her out with us tonight,” Caroline is the first to speak, giving Paige an encouraging smile. 

“Carol,” Nika hisses, “we can’t just invite the enemy.”

“She’s not the enemy,” Paige defends immediately, “we don’t even have a rivalry with UCLA.”

Nika scoffs indignantly, “of course she is. She picked a different school over us. Over UConn! That’s weird. Who even does that?”

“Lots of people do,” Caroline, who occasionally texts Azzi (albeit she’s kept that somewhat of a secret), supplies helpfully, shrugging when the Croatian glares at her. 

Piath nudges Paige when she notices the other girl has gone quiet, “ignore Nika. She doesn’t mean it, you know that. If you wanna invite her, invite her.” 

And she does, she wants to so badly. It’s insane really because it hasn’t even been a full day since they’d last seen each other but Paige swears something inside her has been missing since. There’s something awfully terrifying about letting Azzi back into the UConn version of her world, the world that the younger girl had once rejected. Still, if they’re going to try this again, she supposes sooner or later, it’ll have to happen. 

“Put her on speaker,” Nika orders when Paige grabs her phone back from her. 

“Nika,” Caroline, younger only by age, warns, pulling the other girl away, “we’re supposed to be cheering her up, not making life harder.”

Azzi answers on the third ring, her voice teasing  “miss me already?”

Yes, Paige thinks, sometimes I think I miss you even when you’re right here next to me, sometimes I think I’ll miss you forever. But she doesn’t say any of that. 

“Not a chance,” she scoffs instead, “besides you called me first.”

“Butt dial.”

“Mmmhmm I’m sure.”

“Shut up,” Azzi laughs and Paige is glad her teammates aren’t here to see the goofy grin that appears on her face at the sound of it, “I just wanted to see if we were doing something tonight?”

“Yeah- umm- you remember I told you about the girls coming down this weekend. They- uh- they wanted to go out tonight and uh- you could come along?” 

There’s a pause on the other end and Paige knows Azzi’s going through the same thought process as her. 

“I don’t wanna intrude on your time with your team P-”

“You wouldn’t be intruding,” Paige cuts in immediately and although she figured her teammates were definitely eavesdropping, Nika cursing about her being “pussywhipped” followed by in-sync shushing from Piath and Caroline, gives them away. 

On the other end of the line, Azzi’s quiet again, “it’s okay P, you go have fun with your friends. We don’t have to spend every night together. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

What she doesn’t say is that maybe they need to learn how to live like that again, how to live apart again. Paige is almost done with the LA part of her rehab, something both of them are still in denial about. It’s only a matter of time before they return back to their two separate worlds and neither of them are sure they’ve managed to repair their friendship enough to not slip back into their foolishness again. 

“But I wanna see you tonight,” Paige whines, her tone teetering on the edge of sounding like a desperate girlfriend, “please.”

“Paige-”

“Pleaseeeeeee. I’m literally injured and begging Az, it’d be mean to say no.”

“What does your injury even have to do with any of this?” Azzi sighs exasperatedly, “but yeah okay fine calm down Bueckers. Send me an address, I’ll be there.”

“You don’t wanna come pregame here?” 

“Dude, let's not push it, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah okay see you,” Paige pauses, “hey Az?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m really happy you’re coming tonight.”

“I’m really happy you’re happy P.”

***

Azzi Fudd is a menace. See, people often get fooled by her soft-spoken nature and shy demeanour, but Paige has been around her long enough to know the truth. In the beginning it was the witty quips the younger girl always had ready whenever they were having some ridiculous argument. After that, it was the direct pranks that wreaked havoc on Paige’s life. But tonight, in Paige’s opinion, tonight is Azzi’s worst offence. She had to have done it on purpose, had to have known the sheer effect it would have on Paige to see her dressed like that. The red criss-cross tank top fits her like a mould and the way her ripped jeans shorts cling to her hips leaves little to the imagination. Her diamond belly button piercing shines against her skin, taunting Paige. She wants to touch, she wants to feel, she wants to do all the unspeakable things in her mind but she’s forced to just watch. 

What she hates most though, is that everybody else is watching too. Since Azzi’s walked into the club, Paige has had to fight the urge to strangle every stranger who had given her best friend an appraising once-over. Some of them let their eyes linger long enough to give her time to plot out the perfect murder strategy (it’s the only way she can stop herself from actually committing a crime tonight). And, as Azzi dances with Caroline, hips swaying to the beat and holding the other girl a little closely, Paige has the irrational urge to hit sweet, kind Caroline of all people. 

The thing is, Azzi’s been a little too attached to Caroline since she got here in Paige’s opinion. And she gets it. Piath, bless her soul, is trying but has always been a little awkward around new people. Nika is definitely not trying, loyally holding onto a grudge on behalf of Paige. Which leaves Caroline, who’s already familiar territory and the younger girl has grasped onto her like a lifeline. But enough is enough Paige decides, as she slips out of her seat with a determined look. Smoothly, she cuts right in between Caroline and Azzi.

“Nika’s a little wasted and I don’t want to deal with,” it’s a blatant lie but Paige knows appealing to Caroline’s more motherly instincts will get her what she wants. She gets a raised eyebrow in return, her teammate clearly catching her ruse because Nika looks visibly fine. But it works anyway and Paige gets Azzi to herself. She reaches for the other girl’s hand, twirling her just so she can hear that stupid silly laugh, and then pulling her back so she’s facing Paige. 

“You having fun?” 

“Always have fun with you P,” Azzi replies. She’s clearly tipsy but there’s no hint of insincerity in her voice. It makes Paige’s breath hitch. 

“Yeah?” she whispers, taking a step closer, “more than with Carol?”

Azzi giggles, “more than anyone.”

The song in the club changes and as the crowd adjusts to it, someone jostles Azzi and immediately Paige grabs at her hips to steady her. As she finds her balance, Azzi’s giggles subside, realising just how close she is to the blonde now. They’re stuck in slow motion as the world dances around them. The combination of adrenaline and alcohol pumping through her veins is what convinces Paige to test the limits. One hand still squeezing at Azzi’s bare waist, revelling in finally getting to touch, she brings up her thumb to trace around Azzi’s lips. The younger girl gulps, but when she doesn’t try to move away, confidence pulses through Paige. Her heart is beating frantically out of her chest, years and years of want and need that she’d shoved as far away as possible, desperately fighting to get to the surface. 

Pushing herself closer, so their chests are now pressed to each other and Azzi’s hands have no choice but to latch onto her biceps, Paige places a delicate, teasing kiss to the corner of Azzi’s lips. She wishes she could record the whine it elicits and listen to it on loop for hours. Smirking, she moves to place another one on the other side, this time pressing her lips a little harder, a little longer. Azzi’s eyes are closed shut, hands gripping onto Paige so tightly, she knows there’ll be a mark on her biceps tomorrow. She cups Azzi’s face with both hands now, her own eyes shutting involuntarily, as she finally, finally brushes their lips together. 

This time, the strangled noise that leaves Azzi’s throat, is one Paige wishes she could forget as the younger girl rips herself away from Paige, the force of it creating almost a foot of distance between them. It doesn’t take long for the familiar sting of rejection to make itself home in her heart. Azzi’s eyes are brimming with tears as she manically shakes her head. Without a word, she rushes through the crowd, making a beeline for the exit, leaving Paige confused and craving for another taste. 

***

It takes Paige a second to gather her thoughts before following the brunette. She ignores the confused glances from her teammates, making some bullshit excuse about fresh air as she fights her way outside. When she gets there, Azzi’s leaning against the wall, eyes closed as she takes in long deep breaths. 

“That’s not usually how girls react when I try to kiss them,” Paige says after a second, trying to make light of the situation, even if her heart is heavy with anxiety. 

It’s the wrong thing to say because Azzi scoffs, “you kiss a lot of girls don’t you.”

“Yeah and most of them kiss me back,” Paige bites back. 

She’s taken aback by the fire in the darker-skinned girl’s eyes as Azzi finally opens them, heaving herself off the wall. 

“I won’t be one of your groupies Paige. I won’t be one of your desperate one night stands. I won’t be just some other hookup. I won’t!”

Frankly she’s a little offended Azzi would even think that of her. She’s aware of her reputation. In fact she’d probably fed into it a little bit, exaggerating her escapades to Azzi on the phone her freshman year, when they had been on the verge of combusing and she’d been desperate to get a rise out of the younger girl. Last year though, last year was different. But Azzi doesn’t know that. 

“I don’t want you to be any of that,” she replies feebly. 

“Then what, do you want me to be?” Azzi’s voice rises with each syllable. 

Paige stutters, the words getting stuck in her throat. The truth is she wants Azzi to be everything. The truth is, Azzi already is everything. Except there’s too much between them and she just can’t say it. They stand in silence until Azzi finally breaks it.

“I think these last few weeks of summer might have been the best of my life,” she says miserably, “and that might be the worst thing ever you know? Because it’s not real. You’re gonna go back to your world and you’ll- you’ll stop replying to my texts and you’ll stop- you’ll stop calling me and I- I don’t know if I can do that again.”

“That’s an awful lot of assumptions you’re making about me,” Paige is on defensive mode now, feeling a fight brewing. 

“Because that’s what happened. Go back through your fucking phone Paige. Look at all the times I tried. And all the times you never did. You just- you cut me out Paige.”

“That’s not fair. You chose fucking UCLA. Over me.”

“No,” Azzi corrects immediately, anger seeping into her tone, “I chose UCLA over UConn. You made it about yourself.”

Paige swallows back a bitter response in favour of trying to prevent a full-fledged argument, “okay, okay let’s not- let’s not do this okay. It’ll be better this time- I- I won’t ignore your calls or texts or you okay? Just- can we just go back inside please?”

“That’s the thing,” Azzi’s anger is gone, replaced by a sad wistful smile, “I don’t know if I believe that you will,” a single tear rolls down her cheek, “I- I don’t fully trust you and you haven’t fully forgiven me. So where do we go from here?”

It’s a lie what they say about the truth setting you free, Paige thinks as Azzi’s words squeeze at her heart, because all it’s done is unleash shackles of despair that holds them both hostage. It had been easy the last couple of weeks, to pretend the last year had never happened. It had been easy for Paige to pretend that she was over what happened, to ignore the part of her brain that still felt so utterly betrayed. 

“Azzi, what are you saying? You don’t- you don’t wanna be friends?” Paige feels nauseous even saying it. 

“No I-” Azzi chews at her bottom lip, “I’m saying this- us- we’re too fragile to complicate even more. I barely- fuck- Paige, I barely survived losing my best friend. I don’t think I could survive losing something more.” 

The worst thing about it all, is that it makes sense. And really, Paige doesn’t know what she’d expected to happen if Azzi hadn’t pulled away when she did. They’d kiss, maybe give in and do more and then what? Shake hands and walk away? Or make false promises that would ultimately lead to resentment? No, Years and years of something deserved better than either of those masochistic endings. It makes sense, it does but it doesn’t mean Paige has to like it. 

In front of her, all the fight evaporates from Azzi’s body, as the younger girl leans back against the brick wall of the club, sliding down and pulling her knees to her chest. She looks every bit as miserable as Paige feels and all the blonde wants to do is wipe away the stress lines creasing against the younger girl’s beautiful phase. She moves to sit down next to her best friend, shuffling so their shoulders are pressed together and intertwines their fingers together. A sigh of relief escapes her when Azzi doesn’t immediately pull away. Instead, she squeezes their hands tighter, as if she’s scared that if she lets go, Paige will disappear. 

“You didn’t lose me you know,” Paige says softly after a second, nudging Azzi’s shoulder when the other girl lets out a noise of protest, “I know, I know it feels like you did. It felt like that to me too except- every time something good or bad happened to me, I heard your voice or- or maybe I just really wanted too. We got lost a little bit but I didn’t- I didn’t lose you and you didn’t lose me. There’s a difference. I don’t think we could ever lose each other like that. Not really.”

When Azzi turns to look at her, the golden glow of the street lights illuminate the emotions in her eyes. She gives Paige a soft smile, “well Bueckers, if basketball doesn’t work out, maybe you have a future in poetry.”

“I could do whatever I wanted,” except what I want to do the most. 

It doesn’t take long for the Uber Azzi’s already called to start pulling up and that familiar ache of longing creeps into Paige’s spine. She knows tonight isn’t their final goodbye; they still have a couple more days. But those days will be spent ignoring and pretending, unlike tonight and the firm grip they have on reality. They rise off of the cold pavement together, dusting themselves off. It takes a second of awkward glances before they’re surging into each other’s arms, squeezing each other so tightly that it’s hard to breathe. Paige wills herself not to cry, hiding her face in the crook of Azzi’s neck. 

“We’ll be okay,” she whispers, unsure if it’s more for her benefit or Azzi’s. 

The unwanted beep of a car is the only reason they reluctantly pull away, hurriedly wiping away unshed tears, they pretend the other can’t see. Azzi musters up a brave smile, before slowly moving away and it takes everything in Paige not to crumble and begs her to stay. Azzi’s halfway to the car when she turns back and it feels like Paige can breathe again. The brunette’s face is conflicted for a second before turning determined, as she starts walking back up. 

“Az-”

Paige’s confusion is stifled as Azzi fists her shirt, pulling her into a searing kiss. It’s desperate and needy and it’s only a few seconds before the dark-haired girl is pulling away again, but it sets Paige’s entire world off balance. 

“I just-” Azzi’s breathing is rapid and uneven, “I’ve wanted to do that since I was fifteen and- just- fuck- I just-,” she blinks up at Paige, “I hate- I hate leaving things unfinished and for fucks sake if you don’t call me back this time Bueckers- just- don’t be a stranger.”

Paige doesn’t get time to answer, she doesn’t think she could even if she did, because Azzi scurries away almost immediately. She stops when she gets to the car, turning back to give Paige one final look, a look that will haunt Paige forever, before getting into the backseat. As Paige watches the back of Azzi’s uber gets smaller and smaller, her tongue darts across her lips as she tries to memorise the faintest taste of Azzi’s strawberry-flavoured lipstick. And she knows, she’s so utterly and completely and terribly fucked.

[bearlythere]

will not shut up about how bluey's 30 min episode gave us so much more lore and references to the real world

the writes really made so much literal and euphemistic use of the word "sign" in this episode

in chronological order! and spoilers below!!

do let me know if I missed anything out!

FRISKY AND RAD'S WEDDING!!!! in the iconic heeler house!!

bandit's bully bucky dunstan being the real estate agent selling his house

English sheepdog buying the bluey house (emigration - would be nicer if they got english voice actors to voice them though)

the bluey house was actually for sale on an Australian real estate website! and as per the time of writing this post, it's been "withdrawn from sale" - the bluey digital marketing team AMAZES ME.

I wonder which city bandit got a new job in - don't know if they'll explore that in future seasons

bluey's friend the brown dog (I'm sorry I don't know his name) having 2 mums!

winton talking about his divorced parents and the terriers' saying their mom likes winton's dad!!!

jack and his army interest! him and rusty playing army!!

the sitting in a tree, kissing thing that kids do

Jeremy the gnome

bobo being the car's name

frisky's licence plate being fr15k

the first time kids sit in the front seat of the car

police officers pulling people on the road over LMAO

rad's profile picture being him goofing around with his 2 brothers

how realistic it is trying not to lose someone you're following on the road

the butterfly from slide!! 🦋 it has a name! flappy!

everyone being afraid of the butterfly except bingo because we know she loves insects!

chilli reminiscing how she and frisky used to go to the lookout to "think" when we all knew she meant drink LOL

frisky's 3rd friend appears!

BRANDY IS PREGNANT???

the canon in d rendition as bgm

the busker being the priest??

also they got mort and maynard to come attend the wedding too!!

frisky's father is a typical surfer dude lmao

we see trixie standing amongst the girls during the bouquet toss. and then we see stripe come in to intercept the toss. does this mean that stripe and trixie are not married yet and have just been cohabitating? stripe grabs the bouquet and celebrates, but we see trixie face palm... what does this mean??

love the photo montage and the huge family photo, how it shows that you can't get everybody to be ready for the photo

AFTERPARTY

GRANDPA BOB WENT TO INDIA TO FIND HIMSELF 😭 man needed spiritual rediscovery

the busker is the music dj too!!

uh oh... stripe and trixie are fighting... perhaps it was about the bouquet toss? and we see socks playing with the cake toppers - possibly mimicking her parents actions

awww Radley quit his job so that frisky could stay in a city she loved ❤️

they brought back the music from dance mode!

NANA AND BOB FLOSSING!!!

chattermax randomly appearing 😭

bingo getting stuck in the railing again

bingo being sad because she has to move and lila won't be able to follow. which is also the moment I realised they won't be moving in the end, because of the montage at the end of daddy drop-off episode where bingo and lila grow up together and be friends "forever and ever and ever"!

the 2 English sheepdogs pushing their fluff away from their eyes to see haha

THEM SEEING WINTON'S DAD'S HOUSE WITH A POOL WHICH IS FOR SALE BECAUSE THEYRE MOVING IN WITH THE TERRIERS AND THEIR MOTHER!! THEY ALL FIT IN ONE CAR!!!

seeing the iconic bluey house empty, with spots where furniture used to be somehow makes me feel a little empty and nostalgic

the montage of them saying goodbye to their old neighbours, bandit having one last chat with pat, the girls and chilli saying goodbye to judo and her mum

Judo still has short hair!

chilli reminiscing the kitchen because bluey took her first steps there

WHO SANG THAT SONG IN THE END PLEASE RELEASE IT LUDO STUDIOS

THE SHEEPDOGS WENT BACK ON THEIR DECISION TO BUY BLUEYS HOUSE TO BUY WINTON'S DAD HOUSE

you can tell how much chilli didn't want to move as she was the first one out of the car running over to hug him when she realised bandit didn't want to sell the house anymore. and the shoulder shakes shows that she was fully sobbing too

iconic kiwi rug! loved the simplicity of the last scene, where even if there's nothing around you, as long as you're together with the people you love, eating the simplest meal, enjoying the moment, that's family.

[ivyyisbored22]

𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐇𝐢𝐬 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭— 𝐁𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐅𝐅

Note: Check Description and other chapters first to understand the story ^^♡

Chapter 17

Bang Chan

"Your files are secure Chris."

click click tap

"There's no way he'll be able to get through this" Seungmin's fingers were flying over his laptop keyboard in such speed, his hands were basically going invisible.

"Are you sure?" I took a sip from my glass of bourbon, the liquid burning slightly as it went down.

The room was filled with the soft hum of his computer set up and the occasional beep from the various gadgets he had around the place, it feels like I stepped into a server room instead of his penthouse.

"Are you doubting me?" Seungmin looked up, arching an eyebrow, my hands immediately went up in surrender. He narrowed his eyes at me and then looked down at his screen, his fingers flying across the keyboard again.

"I've doubled the firewalls, encrypted the sensitive data, and set up real-time monitoring. If he even tries to breach the system, we'll know."

"Well, then good" I nodded, feeling a bit of the tension ease from my shoulders. At least the digital side of things was secure. After that bastard's visit 2 days ago, I was positive it was Victor who must have tried to access our files to leak information about the launch.

Relief washed over me after Min assured about the security, I looked around at my friends gathered in the living room at his place this afternoon. If I spent another hour in my office I'd definitely lose my mind, so I made plans with Seungmin to talk about the file security and we decided to invite the guys over as well since we didn't meet after Christmas and New Year's.

"So," Hyunjin said, breaking the silence with a grin. "Someone disappeared for a long time during Mr. John's party"

The guys' eyes flickered to Hyunjin then me, I shifted in my seat taking another sip of my bourbon while having Hyunjin smirking at me without an end.

"Oooooh," Han interjected, leaning forward with a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Spill the tea, Hyunjin. What happened?"

"Nothing happened" I said defensively. The last thing I needed was for them to turn this into a grand drama. But it wasn't like they were gonna stop anyway.

Hyunjin leaned back, stretching his arms on the head of the couch. "Well, I was just chatting with Aria, you know, making polite conversation. Then Chris here comes over, looking like he's about to rip someone's head off, and next thing we know, the two of them disappeared for the rest of the night."

The room went to a chorus of oooohs, Changbin bursted laughing, slapping his knee, the sound echoing through the whole room. Sometimes his laughter was funnier than the joke itself, contagious and impossible to ignore.

"Oh man, did you get jealous? Of our Hyunjin?!" Changbin managed between laughs, wiping tears from the corners of his eyes.

"The hell? No I didn't."

Yes you did.

I kept my glass on the table with a soft thud and looked at him, "I just didn't like the way this guy," I gestured at Hyunjin, narrowing my eyes at who was supressing his laughter, "was looking at her"

Felix chuckled. "Sounds like jealousy to me. You were worried Hyunjin would sweep her off her feet with his charms."

Hyunjin closed his eyes nodding proudly. "I mean, can you blame her? I'm the Versace Prince after all."

Ever since he got crowned Versace Prince by Donatella Versace herself, it's been impossible to shut his mouth about it. Not that I blame him. I'd be crazy flattered if I were to get crowned in only a few months of modelling for them.

"I wasn't jealous." I said firmly. "I was just concerned"

Han wagged his finger at me. "Sounds like someone's got it bad. You actually care, huh?"

I sighed, shaking my head, pinching the bridge of my nose. "It's not like that. I just wanted to make sure she was okay."

"Sure, keep telling yourself that," Lee Know said with a smirk.

"But disappearing with her for the rest of the night? That's a bit more than just 'making sure she's okay.'" His fingers air quoting as he spoke.

The guys laughed, but I couldn't stop from playfully scoffing at their teasing. If I told my old self who was erratic and carefree in Europe that I am now married and my friends giving me shit, calling me out on being 'jealous', that Chris would have asked me if I was high on crack.

"We heard about the whole 'wife calling you during a meeting' thing. Bet that was a first, huh?"

My head immediately turned to Seungmin as Changbin's question remained unanswered, the guy was hiding his grinning face behind that screen, trying to avoid my glare.

Seungmin glanced up, feigning innocence. "What? It's not like it's a state secret."

I rubbed the back of my neck and cracked my knuckles, "She never calls me, so I knew something was wrong."

Felix leaned forward, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "And you rushed home like a knight in shining armor, didn't you?"

"Shut up, Felix," I glared at him. "I did what anyone would do."

"Yeah, right," Han chimed in, nudging I.N. "Our fearless leader, dropping everything for his lady. It's almost romantic."

"Almost?" I.N raised an eyebrow. "I'd say it's pretty damn romantic. Next thing we know, he'll be writing her love letters."

"Or serenading her with his guitar," Lee Know added with a smirk.

"You guys are impossible. It wasn't that dramatic." I grabbed my glass again and chugged down the remaining liquid, coughing lightly. Jack Daniel's is better.

"Sure it wasn't," Felix said, grinning. "Just admit it. You were worried."

"Not worried," I corrected, trying to maintain some dignity. "Just concerned."

"Concerned, worried, same thing," Lee Know said, waving a hand dismissively.

I took a deep breath, trying to keep my cool. "What we do in private doesn't need to be involved in our conversations."

"Right," Changbin interjected, a sly grin on his face. "Because what happens behind closed doors is where the real magic happens, isn't it?"

I rolled my eyes. "You guys have way too much time on your hands"

"Since you're the only married person among us and constantly need advice, it very much is an interesting topic," Seungmin added, glancing over the top of his laptop with a smirk.

Despite their relentless teasing, there was a warmth in their banter that reminded me why these moments felt kind of good. Friends who give you shit and still have your back, they were the best.

Hyunjin clapped me on the back getting up from his spot, “Just remember, if you ever need guidance on how to keep a lady happy, you know where to find me.”

“Thanks, but I think I’ll pass." I kept Aria happy enough— probably not in the best way, but I'd rather step on a thousand Legos than see her that close to him again.

What the fuck. Am I actually jealous?

As I leaned back on the couch, my mind swirled with thoughts. I'm beginning to hate the way I'm starting to feel around Aria. Getting too close to her will only make it harder for both of us when our...deadline reaches.

Which is in exactly seven months from now.

This was a problem. Not just because of the ticking clock on our arrangement, but because I wasn't supposed to feel this way. I shouldn't feel this way. We had a clear line drawn between us. But lately, that line was starting to blur.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair, the weight of my thoughts pressing down on me. Although at the same time, I'm starting to actually like how there's someone to go home to. Unlike last year when my mansion was empty, my housekeeper and butler spent more time there than I did.

It was unsettling how quickly I'd grown used to her laughter echoing through the hallways and her presence filling the emptiness. The way her cheeks swell when she smiles or how good she feels in my arms. And how quickly I'd come to look forward to it.

"We'll figure this out"

"And you won't. You've come this far"

Aria's words replayed in my head again, the way she reassured me. There was a warmth in her voice, a sincerity that cut through my defenses.

She believed in me, in us.

It was more than I ever expected from this arrangement.

I stared at my friends who were engrossed in their own worlds. Min's head glued to his laptop, Hyunjin, Changbin and Lee Know gaming, Felix texting and scrolling his phone while Han and I.N snacking, engaging in a conversation.

And my mind was a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. I was used to control, to having everything in its place. But Aria had a way of dismantling my rules without even trying. It was terrifying and exhilarating at the same time.

Part of me wanted to push her away, like I did with almost everyone except for my parents and my friends. To keep the distance that had always been there. But another part of me, a part I was struggling to ignore, wanted to pull her closer.

I shook my head, trying to clear the fog of confusion. This was a dangerous path. Letting my guard down, letting her in, could only end in heartache.

But as much as I tried to convince myself otherwise, I couldn't deny that she was becoming a part of my life. More than just a contract and a part I wasn't sure I wanted to let go of when the time came.

With the launch and fucking Victor trying to bring me down, my life had become a balancing act on a razor’s edge. Every decision, every move felt more critical than ever. And now, with Aria in the mix, it was getting harder to keep everything on track.

I leaned back on the couch, staring up at the ceiling of Min's living room, the sounds of my friends' laughter fading into the background. The weight of my thoughts pressed down on me, making it hard to breathe.

Seven months.

That was all the time I had to figure out if I could let go of the woman who was turning my world upside down, or if I was willing to risk everything for a chance at something real.

"Are sure you want to have your Pre-launch event in this Venue?" The sudden voice felt like a splash of cold water, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"What?" My voice got caught in my throat, I turned to see Han, standing next to me scrolling his phone without looking up.

"The venue. Are you sure you wanna have the event there?" He asked arching an eyebrow, removing his eyes from the screen.

"Yeah." I replied, trying to refocus. "This place has the right mix of elegance and exclusivity."

"Cool. I'll email you the details by tomorrow and the guest list?"

"Jane has it set. She should have sent it to you by now" I said, shifting slightly on the plush sofa. Han nodded, his fingers moving swiftly as he made a note.

My father suggested we hold a Pre-launch event to build hype and attract potential investors for the upcoming line. He always had a knack for these things, knowing just when and how to create a buzz.

He also suggested I speak with the event host he has been working with over the years but I knew better to trust Han with my event.

Just at the age of 23, Han managed to host successful events for multiple brands and had quickly built a reputation as the go-to guy for high-profile launches. His attention to detail, coupled with his ability to anticipate what would captivate an audience, made him invaluable.

"Just make sure everything is flawless. No room for errors," I reminded Han, though I knew I didn't need to. His track record spoke for itself.

"Don't worry," Han replied, his tone confident. "I've got everything under control. This is going to be the talk of the town."

I nodded at him and took a moment to look around at the guys. Seungmin, was the tech genius, which makes sense why his penthouse looks more like a micro data center rather than an actual house, who made sure my digital security was airtight and of his other clients as well.

Changbin, lounging comfortably, was the CFO of Tommy Hilfiger, his sharp mind for finance keeping budgets and investments on track. Lee Know involved shaping trends and setting new standards in luxury fashion was the Creative Director of Gucci.

Felix and Hyunjin, the dynamic duo, were renowned models for Louis Vuitton and Versace, while I.N, with his magnetic presence and social media savvy, served as a brand ambassador for Bottega Veneta.

And I, currently am COO but the future CEO of Aurelius.

As the evening sun painted the penthouse in golden hues, the excitement and anticipation among us were palpable for the Pre-launch event. I glanced at my watch, it was almost 5pm, I did kind of promise Aria I'll be home by the evening.

Since I truly suck at telling how I feel, I might as well treat Aria a bit more...nicer, for the remaining six months before we have to part ways. For some damn reason that thought made my heart clench, it was a heavily uncomfortable feeling.

With a sigh, I stood up from the plush sofa, catching the attention of my friends.

Changbin raised an eyebrow, a knowing smile playing on his lips. "Off to be the dutiful husband, Chris?"

I chuckled lightly, rolling my eyes as I straightened my shirt. "Something like that."

"She'll be coming to the party won't she?" Felix asked, sitting down on the couch holding a glass of water. Him, I.N, and Han never drink when it's not a weekend.

"Yes," I tried to keep my tone casual.

"Better watch out," Seungmin who finally laid down his laptop, gestured at Hyunjin, "Or this guy might steal her away again" said with a smirk spread across his face as he poured himself a glass of bourbon.

Hyunjin grinned mischievously. "Like I said, can you blame her? I've got irresistible charm."

The guys chuckled, and I could feel the heat rising to my face. "Don't push your luck," I said, my voice was tinged with annoyance.

"Why not? It's not like it bothers you" He let out deep chuckle, somehow that only irritated me more.

"She's my wife."

The room fell into a silence like a sudden drop in temperature, leaving the air thick and tense. The words slipped out unexpectedly, surprising even myself, the guys exchanged glances, then all their eyes fell on me as I stood their as if I was rooted into the floor.

"About time you admitted that" Lee Know chimed in, clinking his glass with Seungmin, a cocky grin playing on his lips while bringing his glass up.

"Let's not make a big deal out of it." I muttered, slipping my phone and keys into my pocket, I could feel the weight of their scrutiny, their eyes on me like lasers. 

"Too late for that," I.N's amused expression was hard to miss.

I could feel the weight of their gazes, their smirks, and the unspoken words hanging in the air. Their reactions only fueled my desire to get out of here.

"See you guys later." I grabbed the jacket off the couch and headed for the door, their laughter and teasing followed me. But I didn't bother to defend it. I didn't want to defend it.

As I made my way towards the elevator, that same unfamiliar feeling settled in my chest.

The lights flashed as I clicked the key to my Porsche, the engine roared and I swifted into the streets. The sun began descending in the horizon, painting the sky in hues of orange and yellow, the nightlife beginning to stir as I drove by.

A flower boutique caught my eye as I drove through the bustling streets, I went past it, then without thinking, I U-turned. I pulled up to the curb, parked and stepped out into the setting evening air.

I haven't stopped at a flower shop before, hell I never had a reason to buy flowers in the first place.

The bell above the shop door chimed softly as I entered. The place was surrounded by gorgeous flowers, filling the air with the sweet scent of fresh blooms. A young woman behind the counter looked up, smiling.

"Good evening. How can I help you?"

"Hello. I'm looking for tulips," I said, my voice sounding almost foreign to my ears.

"Of course," She gestured me to a vibrant display of flowers, and there they were, their petals a mix of pinks and purples sitting in delicate glass vases. I stepped closer, the sweet fragrance enveloping me.

She wrapped a neat bouquet of purple tulips delicately and tied it with a satin ribbon as I searched for my wallet.

"Someone must be very special," She commented as she finished wrapping it.

"Yeah," I replied, taking the bouquet, feeling a slight unfamiliar flutter in my chest.

"She is"

I handed a hundred dollar bill, her eyes widening slightly at the sight of it before she quickly composed herself.

"Sorry sir, we can't break a hundred."

I smiled slightly, holding out the bill. "Keep it," I said. "It's a tip." 

Her expression shifted to one of surprise, then gratitude, her cheeks flushing slightly as she accepted the bill. "Thank you," she replied, her voice sincere.

I nodded, barely acknowledging her thanks as I turned my attention back to the bouquet in my hands. The tulips were delicate, almost fragile, their colors vivid against the darkening evening outside.

I walked back to my car and placed the bouquet on the passenger seat, it's soft fragrance mixing with the scent of leather. The city lights flashed past in a blur as I drove home as the flowers rested beside me.

Once I pulled up to the driveway of my mansion, my heart began thundering in my chest like a like a drumbeat echoing through an empty hall.

I took a deep breath and got out of the car grabbing the bouquet, and walked inside, the cool evening air brushing against my skin. The house was quiet, the only sound was my footsteps on the marble floor and the door slowly closing shut behind me.

"Aria?" My voice echoed, bouncing off the walls, only the lights from first floor and the living room were on, Aria was no where to be found until she came out of the guest room holding her tablet.

"Oh Chris, Hey. You're home early."

"Yeah I was with the guys and um," A hand embarassingly went behind my neck while the other came from my back, holding the bouquet.

When the hell did I hide the bouquet behind my back?!

"I got these for you." I handed it to her, my heart racing at the speed of a runaway train.

Aria's eyes widened in surprise, and for a moment, she just stared at the flowers. Then, a soft smile spread across her face as she took the bouquet from me, her fingers brushing lightly against mine.

"Oh Chris, thank you."

I shifted uncomfortably, not used to these kind of intimate gestures. "You're welcome. I know they're your favorite."

She looked up at me, her eyes shining with genuine appreciation. "They are."

Feeling the awkwardness of the moment, I cleared my throat, it felt like I had a cactus shoved right down it. "I know that we are a bit... complicated"

Dear fucking heaven. Why was talking to my own wife so hard?

Her eyes were glued to me, then fell on the tulips, then back to me. Good God, I might explode here out of sheer discomfort. I felt like a teenager fumbling through his first confession.

"I just wanted to, you know, show that I'm, I don't know. Trying."

She smiled softly, her fingers tracing the petals of the tulips. "I can see that, and it means a lot."

I nodded, feeling a strange mix of relief and tension. "Yeah, well, don't get used to it. I'm not exactly Mr. Romantic."

She laughed gently, a sound that was both comforting and nerve-wracking. "I won't. But it's nice to see this side of you."

I ran a hand through my hair, trying to ease the tension in me. "Thanks. Don't expect too much."

She just shook her head, chuckled and walked near the vase that was on our coffee table removing the roses and putting in the tulips. Okay, since when did we have roses in the house?

And that's it?

Whatever. I didn't care. I took a deep breath and walked to her, her presence was genuinely comforting and terrifying at the same time, I started to wonder when did I get so affected by her.

She glanced up from the vase, her expression soft but curious. "Want dinner?"

A knowing worked its way onto my mouth at her question and right as she turned away figuring out my intentions, I grabbed her wrist, pulling her to me and lifted her up on my shoulder.

"CHRIS!"

"Oh yes sweetheart, I do."

------------------------

Taglist: @bowsnbang @bangchannie97lov @hwasmints @laurenalpha123 @mrs-hwangh @greyyeti @sociallyawkward18 @stephanieeeyang @piscesrising01 @jaquisos @de-uns-tempos-pra-ca

If you want to be added to the taglist, let me know <3 (If I missed someone please lmk)

Thank you for reading!

xx,Ivyy

Next Chapter

[milla-frenchy]

Get to know your moots

Thanks for the tag @yxtkiwiyxt @itwasntimethatdidit40 @ace-turned-confused @thundermartini @joelmillerisapunk 🙏❤️

what's the origin of your blog title?: Milla Jovovich in the 5th element, and also I wanted people to know why my grammar is awful 😶

favorite fandoms: ppcu

OTP(s) + shipname: Hannibal Lecter and Clarice Starling

favorite color: black 

favorite game: tlou (both games)

song stuck in your head: spite - Omar Apollo. I’m obsessed with it

weirdest habit/trait?: I have a ton, but none of them are weird (to me 😁)

hobbies: video games, tv shows, writing fics, listening to music

if you work, what's your profession? I check whether construction projects comply with the law

if you could have any job you wish what would it be? if I could I wouldn’t work tbh. But I think I’d be happier if I worked in a bookstore or a flower shop

something you're good at: listening, I think. And if I’m invested in something I need it to be perfect, so if someone asks me to do something, it should be nicely done

something you're bad at: I don't always know where my boundaries are until I realize I crossed them, and it's too late. I'm done with the thing or the people that asked too much of me and I disappear (and I didn't even see it coming)

something you love: calm. Being at home, quiet

something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: honestly when I’m comfortable with the person, I can talk about everything

something you hate: a lot of things, I can be super grumpy 🙃 Yesterday I was at the movies. Some people were talking too loudly, others were eating during a silent scene and I just wanted to throw them out. In general I don't like noisy people and I hate rudeness. I’m not comfortable with intrusive people or when people come too close to me physically

something you collect: tickets (plane, activities done while traveling, movies, concerts…) I live in nostalgia, and keeping them is a need for me

something you forget: I have a very weird memory. I can remember some details from 15 years ago, and forget something you told me 2 min ago. I still don’t know how this damn memory works

what's your love language?: acts of service, listening, being there when they need me

favorite movie/show: the silence of the lambs, seven, narcos, friends, luther, the last of us, 6 feet under

favorite food: we have some really good meals with cheese and potatoes in France (raclette, gratin dauphinois, tartiflette…) and I love them. And pasta never disappoints (I love italian food)

favorite animal: I’m a cat person, but I’m fascinated by orcas

what were you like as a child? I was quiet and shy, already anxious af and didn’t want people to know it

favorite subject at school? english, geography, history

least favorite subject? maths and sciences. I feel dumb af when it comes to that

what's your best character trait? I’m a good listener, I think. When I love, I love hard. If my friends are attacked I feel like my heart is ripped in two

what's your worst character trait? I overthink everything. And when I don’t, I don’t give a fuck. Which is very disturbing, even for me 🤯

if you could change any detail of your day right now what would it be? I’d stop working and lie on my couch. But today’s a good day, I work from home, so it’s ok

if you could travel in time who would you like to meet? Honestly if I could travel in time I’d just want to see my mom again

recommend one of your favorite fanfics (spread the love!): raider!joel @toxicanonymity is my roman empire. I said it a million times, and I’ll say it again 😍🖤

I’m working on a list of my all time favorite fics that I will share soon, I hope. I have old lists here

npt: @aurorawritestoescape @iamasaddie @toxicanonymity @604to647 @schnarfer

@sawymredfox @iknowisoundcrazy @baronessvonglitter @bonezone44 @magpiepills

@pascalssbabyy @tateypots @sunshineispunk and whoever wants to 🙏

[uninformedartist]

So just finished watching the ep so review. Spoils ahead:

So the episode was ok to me, solid 6/10 one of the better episodes which since this was supposed to be an "extravagant" ep why does it got better quality than the main eps, idk Viv has her moments like this ep and other eps its a train wreck in writing ect.

Mammon worked on my nerves, from design to his movements, personality ALL of him was annoying, which props for an annoying Villian but its Villian I never want to see back again and he's hinted for some sort of return.

Side tangent: Mammon is like the how many-ith Villian to get a return ep/hint at one. It was 1st cherubs, then dorks, then stella/ice twink, striker/crimson now Mammon & according to the leaked storyboards a ghost guy that tries to talk IMP into off-ing themselves... its a flipping lot and cherubs & dorks seem to be forgotten dispite dorks knowing & having hard evidence they exist, flip Viv chill it with your Villian of the week cos its way too many now.

Anyway, Blitz didn't need to be in this ep besides the flashback. Ozzie got him to talk Fizz out of being Mammon's puppet but ultimately Ozzie spoke him out of it & gave him courage to quit/confront Mammon. Even Blitz being a bodyguard/killing people for Fizz could've been any imp. Blitz is starting to feel like Steven from SU, in every ep even tho the ep doesn't need him/ the episode surrounds topics a wee child shouldn't be in (i.e Lapis trauma dumping on Steven & he a child isn't really equipped to handle that situation).

My fave part of this ep was Ozzie and Fizz. Ya'll I legit prayed Viv wouldn't mess these two up and my prayers were answered. Absolutely a joy these two were. Fizz especially what a darling. Loved that small scenes with him and the deaf imp child, l dont know sign language but it looked genuine animated and was just sweet moments.

From their interactions, Fizz's panic attacks/self doubt felt & were genuine... I felt that as someone that has panic attacks from high stress on my studies/life. It was just handled well. Fizz feeling less than and needing to prove himself from 1. his past 2. his appearance, that accident affected his self image/worth so much (why I felt him forgiving Blitz was too hastily done but I digress) & 3. him doing this Mammon contest still to gain/earn Ozzie's love for him cos Fizz believes Ozzie only sticks around because of this fame Mammon gave Fizz. Ozzie finally saying what he loves about Fizz was lovely, wanted that in the 1st ep but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Their song was... I didn't like it BUT the message in it was beautiful. Lastly Fizz saying fuck you to Mammon from the courage/strength Ozzie gave him was a nice send off... also Ozzie saying he loves Fizz ah ngl that made me smile agh I just love them. I want to see them more than the Stolitz show but thats only a wish. Props Viv, you get 1 brownie point not messing this up.

Last findings, the ep was bloated as hell my soul Viv please stop cramming so much in an ep, this one is 30 mins long & yet still felt bloated. Pacing was a motherfuka damn it was bad & the swearing was jarring (its a Viv written ep I don't expect any less but still gonna point it out) and the comedy wasn't so prominent in this ep, Blitz/Mammon gave some comic relief but in the best and worst ways:

The way the VA delivered this line "to be fucked" made me laugh, the line is cringy but the delivery lol gold

Aand Blitz, my soul shut the fuck up & get out this ep. Last ep & this one he said something so agonizingly cringe I pulled my face

The world of HB is legit American hell or earth just painted red since Fizz named all these places in America just "hellified" where his fans come from.

And very last, congratulations Salem glad you got the cathartic send off you deserve from working under Viv, truly fuck you "Mammon" indeed :) also glad they credited you this time.

[daengtokki]

𝐼'𝓂 𝓈𝑜𝓇𝓇𝓎 𝐼 𝓌𝒶𝓈𝓃'𝓉 𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒

Kim Seungmin/female reader

wc: 3.1k

synopsis: someone is cheating // pt 2

rating: angst/sort of fluff

⤜ · · ♡ · · →

Now Seungmin remembers just how lonely he can get

The dorm is silent. It’s late and everyone is asleep, but he didn’t realize just how late it had gotten until he closed the door a little too loudly. He drops his bags and pulls off his clothes as he makes his way to the bed, tossing them and leaving a trail as he goes. Typically, he throws them right into his hamper, or folds them neatly on his chair, but tidyness is far from his mind right now—almost everything is.

But still, his mind is racing. It’s spinning and it’s aching, and his heart is, too. He feels outside of his own body as he replays the last hour in his head, and he just wants to wake up from this nightmare.

Seungmin crashes onto the bed. He hasn’t been here in a few weeks, at least not to sleep, and the bed feels all wrong. The thought of being here, and not where he’s supposed to be breaks him, and his breath catches in his throat as he desperately holds everything back. But it’s too much, and he has to cry. Silently, though—that much he can do. He turns and pushes his face into the pillow and lets go.

A text comes through, and the first thought that runs through his head—it’s you, it has to be. Pleading for forgiveness, and throwing I love you’s in every direction. It’s not until he looks at the screen that he remembers the shattered remains he left on the floor. But you have other ways; your laptop, mainly. If you really wanted to, you could reach him right now with no trouble.

This text is from Jeongin.

min is that you? I didn’t think you’d be here. Everything okay?

As quiet as he was, that was all kind of ruined when he had to blow his nose and breath properly again. And there’s something about a post-cry nose blow that’s just…obvious.

yeah I’m okay

Everything will come out in the morning anyway.

If you say so…we can have a drink and watch something if you want to talk

Jeongin isn’t just perceptive; he knows Seungmin well, and he knows when something is off.

we can talk tomorrow, I should sleep

Seungmin has no hope of sleep tonight.

· · ♡ · ·

The broken phone at your feet blinks pathetically, trying with everything it has to hold on and buzz a text message in. You don’t care, though. You don’t need your phone if Seungmin isn’t texting, or calling, and only realizing that now is your problem. You got complacent—apathetic over the months you’ve been with him. Unbelievably stupid. You’ve ruined the best thing that ever walked into your life. All you can think of now is every word you want and need to say to him, but you can’t.

No, you can. Your laptop is right there, on the coffee table. If anything, you can gather and organize your thoughts, because you can't imagine him wanting to hear from you tonight. Getting him back might be impossible, but this still feels necessary. Sending it off in an email is something morning you will decide on.

Minnie, I’m sorry it’s come this—I’m sorry you have to feel the way you do right now, and I need you to know how much it kills me that you’re hurting. I’m sorry that I’ve done so poorly as your person, something I should be better at by now, that I have to write to you this way just hoping you’ll read it. I’ve failed you, because I should have been stronger, and I should have been there for you when you needed me the most. Not stronger, no, just better…more perceptive and more understanding. I do know how lonely it gets for you, because you have mentioned it before, but I’ve been so selfish for so long. Getting to be yours for the last 2 years has been a dream. I never thought someone as sweet, and funny, and loving, and as beautiful as you would ever come into my life. I won’t try to explain my actions, because there is no explanation. I don’t deserve you, or your forgiveness. I broke your trust. I broke everything. I felt entitled to fix my loneliness when you were suffering with it, too. But you didn’t hurt me. You’ve never hurt me. I want you to know that I love you, though. I love you more than anything. You are irreplaceable and I will suffer without you, because I should.

Three, four times you read through it before deciding to hit send. It can’t wait until you decide to wake up in the morning, because sleeping tonight will be difficult—but crying is exhausting. You doze off for an hour, then jump out of it abruptly for no reason. Panic takes over, and your heart feels like it might explode as you orient yourself in a tangle of sheets. Seungmin isn’t here, and it takes a moment to remember why.

You smack the keyboard of your laptop until it wakes up, and the new email at the top of the pile makes the panic even worse.

RE: (no subject)

Twelve minutes ago.

You click it and brace yourself for more heartbreak; more difficult truth. An end.

· · ♡ · ·

Seungmin does decide to get up and get a soju, but he does it alone. He needs something to help him relax; numb things a little, and make his eyes a little heavier. The time between is spent looking through old messages between him and you, which is not making things better, but Seungmin wants to figure out where things went wrong. He gets as far back as four months of texts when a notification pops up on his phone.

You did exactly what I thought you would, he mumbles to himself. It’s an email, no subject. Before the little banner disappears, he opens it, and he devours every word far too quickly. Seungmin’s heart races and his stomach swirls as he scans each paragraph, and then he immediately goes back and starts again, slowly.

Now he has something more to dwell on. He gets up and heads to the kitchen for another drink, and when he returns, he just starts typing:

I love you, too. Before I say anything else, I want you to know that. I keep reading your email over and over as I type, because my head is a mess and I can’t focus much right now, but your words ground me. They always have. It’s been a while since you’ve given me a hand written letter, and this, of all things, made me miss that. You have a way with words that I just can’t seem to replicate. I’m hurting like I don’t remember ever hurting before. I feel opened up and ripped apart. I feel like I’m not enough, or I wasn’t enough. I was scared of a relationship because of this, I guess. Being away, not being enough, because I know I’m bad at expressing myself sometimes. Most of the time. Not being with you much makes it even harder. So I feel at fault, too. I need to own up to not always being there when you need me, even though it came with our type of relationship. I’m sorry it’s so hard for us to talk like this face to face…or for me to, I guess. I didn’t give you a chance.

· · ♡ · ·

That’s it.

You’re relieved, but you’re not sure if you should reply again. Leaving it at this until morning might be the best option. But what happens in the morning? Does Seungmin come back home? Will he reply if you email him again? Maybe he’ll sleep in late, leave again, leave you waiting for a message just like you did to him. You think back to the last time he was home, and how you weren’t even here because you ignored his text. Not just ignored, but didn’t even look at it to see that he was waiting and wondering why you weren’t there to greet him.

It feels like your heart is being squeezed just imagining his confused face. And then your mind moves to him…the other one, and it makes you sick thinking of him now. It should have done that before. Irreplaceable is exactly what Seungmin is, that was no exaggeration.

Luckily, you fall asleep with his words in your head; the I love you, the possibility of another chance. And your guilt, still, of making him think he hasn’t been enough.

· · ·

There’s hardly a chance to think of replying to Seungmin. You don’t sleep long, because once you’re awake, you’re awake. Showered, dressed, coffee slowly dripping in the glass caraffe. You prep enough in the hopes that he’ll have some, too, but that’s mostly wishful thinking—a desperate attempt at a manifestation.

A reply has been rolling around in your head since last night, and it formed into a solid set of paragraphs as you took your time in the shower, now you just have to sit and hope it comes out just as well. And you do open his email, but instead of typing, you grab a pencil and a piece of stationary from the desk—stationary you bought just for his letters. You haven’t touched them in at least a year.

It actually comes out easier this time.

Seungmin,

Might as well start properly.

You’ve always been enough. I see you struggle every day with balancing your work and your regular life…me, us. I don’t know what that’s like—

The sound of keys makes you stop. The slide of metal against metal as it’s pushed in and turned; every bit of it is so, so loud. You look again at the broken phone on the floor, not forgotten, but not even deserving of a place in the trash can. You couldn’t bring yourself to touch it.

When you look back at him, the first thing he does is find you, and then he looks to the aftermath of his out of character temper. Then back at you.

You set the pencil down and stand, but you don’t take a step toward him. Every part of you screams to be closer, though.

“Hi,” he takes a few steps inside, kicks off his shoes next to yours. “Morning.”

It’s nearly noon, but you can pretend you didn’t stay up and sleep in late. You haven’t had coffee yet, anyway, so that’s what you do—you force yourself to the kitchen and pour a mug, and then you pour the rest over ice for him.

He watches, but looks at what you were working on as he gets closer to the coffee table. You don’t say anything when he picks up the piece of paper and reads it, rereads it. “I got you something,” he says as he places it back on the table.

“Uhm…you did?”

Why would he do that? You don’t feel like you deserve his gifts at the best of times, so you certainly don’t want anything now.

Seungmin digs in the shopping bag and pulls out a little white box, opens it, and then hands you your new phone.

“I was out of line last night, when I…” he looks at it on the floor again, “I’m sorry.”

“No, Minnie…you weren’t, at all”

“You didn’t deserve my anger”

“I did, I needed it. I want it. Please don’t be nice to me.”

“Okay, if you really mean that…” He walks over slowly and picks up his glass, takes a long sip... “I’ve never felt so angry at you before. I didn’t think I could feel like that, honestly. And I was still holding back.”

“I could tell. Part of me wanted you to let go.”

“Let go, let go how? I could never hurt you.” His touch is a relief—the gentle slide of his thumb across your skin, his hand closing softly around your neck. A much different touch than last night. “Phone, yeah. Him, maybe.”

“That person is gone”

“Did it help…did he help? Were you less lonely with him?”

Thinking about it isn’t really necessary, but you take a long moment to look at Seungmin—his eyes are big and wet, and they’re puffy from not getting enough sleep, or crying. Most likely both, though you can only remember seeing Seungmin cry once in the time you’ve known him. And it wasn’t over you.

“No, I wasn’t. I think it was making me feel worse.”

“I’m irreplaceable, right?”

The tease in his voice is obvious, and his little laugh breaks every bit of tension in the room. You need to pull him in and kiss him, but whether or not you’re there yet is still a mystery. Instead, you shift slightly closer.

“Yes, you are”

He smiles. You’ve seen him smile like that before, and it’s always when he’s in a certain mood. Seungmin sets his glass down and takes yours from you.

“Seungmin”

The desperate whine just makes him smirk.

“Please, Minnie…I need you, so much”

“I know you do, I know.” But he grabs your wrists and stops you as you move toward his hips. “You have me. And I need something to.”

“Of course, anything”

“Can you finish your letter?”

· · ·

Seungmin is never fast in the shower, especially not after he’s been away for so long. There’s no need for him to rush around now—he knows he has plenty of time, and plenty of hot water no matter how long he takes. Typically, you leave him alone when he’s in there, despite the occasional urge to go in.

But this time, of all times, you decide to act on that urge.

There he is, behind the glass partition. Steam chokes the air, and condensation keeps his body mostly hidden from you, but he’s tall enough that you do get a peak—back turned, head twisted to the side so the water can beat down on his neck and shoulders. He rolls them, groans with relief, and sighs. It makes you dizzy.

Then he finally opens his eyes and sees you staring at him. He smiles so wide, with all of his teeth, and it’s the most beautiful sight. It’s as if nothing bad has happened, and nothing is slowly tearing the two of you apart.

“I think I’m finally losing hot water,” he muses, mostly to himself, but he doesn’t turn it off. What he does do is turn to you and fold his arms over the partition. He’s just tall enough. “Hi, do you have something for me?”

You nod, shyly, and you don’t know why. The way he’s looking at you seems brand new, and it feels so intense.

“Seungmin…” you start, paper clutched in one hand. You don’t think you even need to read from it now.

He doesn’t interrupt, but he nods and gives you another little smile.

“You’ve always been enough. I see you struggle every day with balancing your work and your regular life…me, us. I don’t know what that’s like. I don’t know how difficult and tiring it is to be on all the time, and to switch off when you walk through that door to me. I have it so easy—I get to hide away from everything, and then at the end of the day, or the end of the week, month…I get you, I get to hear your voice, and see your face, and I couldn’t ask for anything better…”

He ducks away, and the water is turned off as one more big plume of steam rises up and starts to clear. You reach for his towel, hold it open for him, and wait patiently as he drips and shakes his hair. It’s cute, and it’s the first time you’ve seen him do it.

“…because there’s nothing better”

Seungmin steps out and lets you wrap it around him. The water beading down his chest is too much, and as he’s tightening it around his waist, you lean forward and kiss him there. Muscle flexes as you pull away and place another one, and then another until your lips close around his nipple.

At any moment, he could pull away from you, because he hasn’t made his intentions clear yet. He could stay now, for a while, for the last time, or he could leave as soon as he’s dressed. The letter is written and read to him, though it was short, and maybe that was the last of your say on the subject. Maybe that’s why he showed up—that, and the phone.

No. Seungmin wouldn’t put in this much effort just to turn around and leave. He’s still upset, and he’s still confused.

He looks down at you and closes his eyes, savoring the warmth of your lips on his cool skin. It might be too much right now to touch again, but he wants to.

A hand up your back is all it takes to get a sound out of you.

“Hey”

“Yeah?” Your forehead presses against him and you avoid his gaze.

“Everything you said, just now and last night…” he stops and hmms to himself, musing out loud again, “and what I said. Why can’t we say those things to each other. Why did it take this, after so long?”

“Because we’re both afraid of being vulnerable with each other, at least on our feet.”

Seungmin laughs at that. “Yeah, I guess it’s a little different during sex, but even then…”

“Are you saying you want—“ you stop, but not because he interrupts you. You stop because you’re terrified of his answer.

“…to work on it?”

He can still finish your sentences. Maybe that’s part of the problem—thinking you can read each other’s mind, even though sometimes you absolutely do.

“I can feel your heartbeat”

And it feels like it could stop at any moment. It feels like you’re standing on the edge of a cliff, preparing to jump…to get pushed.

Seungmin pulls you even closer, and you wrap your arms around his waist.

“Is that what you think we should do?”

“I just want you to trust the person you give yourself to”

“Is it silly if I still trust you? I know you want me to stay, but the way you talk makes it seem like you’re pushing me away. Like you’re giving me an out.”

“No, it’s not silly. I don’t want to push you away, but I do hate myself more than I ever thought I could.”

“Maybe we’ve talked enough today. We both need more sleep…can we do that?”

[rainy-day707]

Speedster Temporary Hearing Loss AU/HC.

I sent this to someone in their asks and reblogs but this is one of my favorite head canons that I feel deserves its own post.

I have a headcanon that speedsters get temporary hearing loss and/or tinnitus when they break the sound barrier. The West family even uses ASL and certains signals to show the others that they can’t hear. (I know the West and Allen families aren’t the only speedsters but this headcanon started with Flashfam so bear with me)

An example would be: Wally decided to take an extra lap around the world on his way to Barry and Iris’s from school. He accidentally broke the sound barrier and now everything is muffled. He enters the West-Allen home and signs to the couple “cannot hear, ran too fast” and they both instantly start signing. Wally talks about his day while they all wait for his speedster healing to heal his eardrums. Wally starts to hear loud ringing before he can hear again.

Bonus: A random JL member enters a meeting with their hands covering their ears after a fight involving a sonic device. The Flash associates a person covering their ears with ASL so he starts signing in a Pavlovian response. Cue confused side eyeing all across the room

This headcanon comes from two places

1. an episode in CW’s The Flash where Barry and Ralph get hit with a sonic device(or meta, I can’t remember) that causes Barry to damage his eardrums and his speedster healing takes several hours to fully bring repair the damage

2. A medical condition I have. It causes me to go through “episodes” where I get really loud ringing in my ear or complete silence or both. This can happen to either ear at any time (sometimes both ears). These episodes last anywhere from 30 min to 3 days. Recently they’ve been around 2-4hrs tho. In that time I rely on lipreading and sign language.

In typical rainy-day707 fashion, I felt the need to project my life onto my favorite characters. Hence speedsters getting temporary hearing loss. If I have any other things I forgot to add I’ll edit them in later. Feel free to add on!

[kimis-gloves]

Runnin' Home To You - read on ao3

The winter break. The time of year that either leaves people longing for more, or an appreciated break from the world of cars and speed. For Charles leclerc it's a different situation. During this time of year, he's apart from everything he loves, everyone he loves. The way he grabs onto charles when they share a podium, the looks they share while they achieve one of their few moments alone. Charles can't see his life in racing without Max Verstappen being there with him. From the early years of karting, Charles knew he loved max. His entire mind and way of thinking revolves around max. The way he races, the way he does not find any genuine attraction to anyone other than max. It's almost as if he's been poisoned and rotted by his fellow dutchman. 

After Abu Dhabi, Charles found himself not wanting to leave Max's side because he knew that once he did, it would be one of if not the last time he saw Max before the next season's testing. His heart ached everytime he had to spend time away from max. He wondered if Max ever felt the same way, he doubted that as he watched Max walk over to his new girlfriend, one that came upon somewhat suddenly. He watched as they hugged each other tightly, embracing the other's presence as Max exclaimed with joy after winning his fourth world drivers championship. When Max leans in to kiss her, Charles can't bear to watch as it just hurts too much to see the man he's loved for his entire life, act so affectionately to someone that isn't him. 

That was what Charles thought would be the last time he saw Max that year. He spent most of his winter break attempting to take his mind off of the fact that he is so in love with the boy who was sent from the stars. He spent nights laying in bed, deeply wishing Max was there with him. To laugh with and to hold, to stare into his oceans of eyes and tell him how right from the start, he was the light in the dark. 

But alas he can't. He lay there in his cold, empty bed and continued to wish. It's a colder & rainy night, not cold enough to snow. He listens to the droplets of rain rattle against his windows, as he turns over to face the moonlit & rain scattered window, he hears a loud, but stern knock at his apartment door. 

“What the-”

knock, knock, knock

2:37AM

After quickly checking his phone, Charles drags himsout of his bed, throwing on the nearest joggers and whatever loose tee he can get his hands on. As he's making his way towards his front door, hes wondering who on earth could be at his door at this hour, surely nobody import-

“Max?!”

“Charles.. May I please come in?”

“Oh, of course here..”

As Charles is making wax for Max, he's left utterly speechless as to why Max Verstappen is at his door, dripping wet with monacan rain, asking to be let in. surely there's no logical reason for this. 

“Max.. why are you here”

“Shit- charles im sorry, i knew it would be a mistake coming here.”

“No, talk to me.”

Charles brings them both over to the sofa, he offers max a drink but he abruptly declines

“So max, are you going to tell me why you've shown up at my doorstep, at 3 in the morning and soaking wet?”

“She left me, charles.”

‘Oh. I'm sorry to hear that, but it doesn't really explain why you're here like this.”

“Something in me just really needed to see you, I tried calling Daniel for a word of advice but nothing and nobody is helping. I guess I just- really needed to be with you for this. You understand, right?”

Charles is at a loss for words. THE max verstappen.. needed him?? He didn't know how to respond or how to feel about this information, all he could do was sit there and stare at his beloved, not noticing his gaze moving to the freckle on Max’s light pink lip. 

“Charles?”

“Uh- yes max. I get how you feel. Sometimes you just can't help but only want one specific person at times.”

“Yeah”

The two men sit there in silence, thoughts racing through minds. Max worries that he's making Charles uncomfortable so he's urged by his mind to get up and leave. He really doesn't want to, but he doesn't want to make his situation worse by ruining things with the person he genuinely loved. The person that was the root of his breakup with his now ex girlfriend.  

 - 40 minutes before -

“You only talk about charles!! Charles did this, Charles said that. Charles talked about these things and that person charles charles charles!! I’M supposed to be your girlfriend, not charles. I've had enough of being put second to somebody you're supposed to be rivals with. It's going to be either me or Charles, Max.”

Max did not respond to her, instead he walked out the door and walked straight to charles apartment where he knew charles would lie awake at that hour. 

Ever since Max was a young boy, he knew he had some types of feelings for charles. He didn't care about winning against the other racers, he only enjoyed racing against charles. Seeing the way Charles would be left frustrated after knowing Max is the only one he couldn't take on. He enjoyed the rush he got from teasing Charles of the win, knowing he would come out on top every single time. 

When Max met Kelly, he thought he had found it all, but soon he started to feel as if there was something missing. He felt empty. When he realized it was because of these feelings for Charles, he tried so desperately to ignore them but the more he tried the more he couldn't keep his mind, or his eyes off of charles. He thought Charles was the most beautiful thing to have ever existed. Charles was everything to max and max was everything to charles, but neither of the which knew of the others “secret”

—

“I think i should leave, im sorry charles”

“What? Why?’

“This was wrong. Enjoy your night.”

“Max”

Max turns towards the door aiming to leave but charles quickly follows and grabs max by the back of his shoulder

“Max.”

Brushing off Charles's hand, he stands there, slightly hovering over charles.

“Please stay” he says, looking up into the madness of max's eyes.

And that was all max needed to feel sure that coming here was, in fact, not a mistake. 

[ash-azzzz]

Rating Hazbin Hotel Ships

!!! THIS IS MY OPINION !!!

Huskerdust : 100/10 absolutely love. i rlly think angel could use someone who is good to him and for him. I rlly like the idea that they'll be super sweet and not rush into anything. I rlly hope husk has a part in freeing angel from vals control if that even happens later in the show!

radiohusk : -1000/10 i rlly dont like alastor ships (for more info on why read last post.) if its platonic then sure but romantic -or god forbin sexual- no.

radiodust : -1010/10 i like this one even less. we know alastor has no interes in anyone, let alone angel (as shown in episode one angel talks about filming him and al going at it as the hotel ad and al laughs and says it'll never happen)

radiostatic : -1,000,000/10 it would be so one sided like omgg. like vox obsessed with al and al being repulsed by him. that is a horrible relationship for voxs mental health.

radioapple : 0/10 could be worse. i get people like enemies to lovers but brah they arent lovers and never will be. like platonic divorsed dads for charlie is fine but people writing about/drawing them going at it like rabbits is just 😬🫣

adams apple : 4/10 not my fav but i can def see where people are coming from. Like in the fight when luci says "im gonna fuck you" he totally could have ment that as "i got both your wives and now i want you." if adam is even in season 2 (tries to get redemed after he died ends up in hell) i wouldnt be too horribly surprised if they end up having a fling or a possible relationship of some kind. still suprised but not too bad

appledust : 3/10 i like them platonically. like they gossip abt the guys/girls they like, talk shit abt val and alastor, vent to each other, cry together, laugh together, and try and get one another with who ever they want (i.e angel w/ husk and luci w/ whoever he might want so like adam if a fling does happen)

chaggie : 10/10 i LOVE them i just want them to have more flavor. i need their relationship to get fleshed out more. like we had one little fight and a sweet like 1 min song. I WANT MORE from the only lesbian couple in that damn show.

sir pen x cherri : 7/10 i love the dynamic despite how little of it we got in the show. like hes hopeless and she that bitch. i rlly hope cherri ends up trying to redeem herself to meet pen in heaven.

cherri x angel : 2/10 platonic is cool but romantic jusy doesnt seem right to me since angel is gay. i honestly dont know how i feel abt their friendship long term because cherri doesnt seem like too great of an influence on him.

adam x lute : 4/10 probably just one sided as fuck. like no way lute didnt have feelings for adam. he made her and she was his favorite ofc she was going to fall in love but i dont think he liked her back man.

lucifer x lilith : 2/10. all im sayin is they divorsed for a reason :/

LMK IF I MISSED ANY ^_^

[chirpingfromthebox]

The Frost's Post-game Press Session from 1/4/2025 - NYC at MIN

The Minnesota Frost's post-game press session after their home game against the New York Sirens.

At the table were head coach Ken Klee, forward Taylor Heise [Minnesota's 1st round draft pick in season 1], and defender Claire Thompson [Minnesota's 1st round draft pick in season 2].

Transcription is under the break.

[a cold is currently in the process of kicking my ass, so please excuse me if I make more errors than usual.]

[video starts on the last two syllables on a reporter's question, so I'm not entirely sure what it was.]

KEN KLEE:

When it rains it pours I guess. You know, we just, rolled with it. Had to call Maddie [Rooney] from home and tell her to get here. It’s just one of those things. It's pro hockey: crazy stuff happens. But I liked- outside of giving up the first goal, I mean, I thought the first period we played really well. We had a lot of chances. We just gotta find a way to find the back of the net and then, to me, it’s a different game. But kudos to them, they did a good job of not letting us get on the board to get going. And that’s kind of how it went.

Reporter:

What happened to Nicole [Hensley]?

KEN KLEE:

Uh, a lower body injury in warm up apparently. We’re watching warm up and she left and all of a sudden I’m like, ‘That doesn’t look good. We better go see what’s happening.’ So hopefully it’s not too long term, but, again, we’ll talk to the doctors and stuff tomorrow. She’ll get treatment and kinda see how she is.

Reporter:

How much warning did you give Lucy [Morgan]?

KEN KLEE:

I think Lucy was all of a sudden looking around like, ‘Where’d Nicole go?’ I don’t think she knew either. So it’s kind of one of those things where she didn’t have a lot of time to think about it. Just get in there, do your job, and she did a pretty good job for us.

Reporter:

I think Maddie showed up at first [???] timeout.

KEN KLEE:

Yeah, see, you’re ahead of me. I didn’t even know. After the first period I’m like, ‘Is Maddie here yet?’ And they’re like, ‘Oh, yeah, she was on the bench.’ I was like, ‘OK. Cool.’

Reporter:

I mean, a little bit- last year you had four goaltenders in the organization. Now this kind of shorthanded situation pops up today. As far as like emergency situations, you know…

KEN KLEE:

Yeah, I dunno. I think [???] was going in next if we needed it. [everyone at table smirks]. So, yeah I’m not sure. So we’ll have to see how that goes. Hopefully Nicole’s not going to be too long. Maddie’s obviously getting healthy. You know, we made the decision to leave her home today, just because she has been sick and we had two goalies that were healthy at the time. So we- that was the right call then. Then obviously we had to call an audible and say, ‘Hey, drive here and get here when you get here.’

Reporter:

Is this the most shorthanded you feel like you’ve been the last couple games now?

[This question is hard to make out perfectly as someone is breathing heavily into a microphone for part of it. But it’s something like that.]

KEN KLEE:

Oh, 100%. I mean when you take out the number of forwards and D and- You know, we’ve got some long term injuries, some just sickness throughout the lineup, up and down, we didn’t face anything like this last year. But last game we still got 2 points which is good. And obviously today, I think, like I said, if we score in the first I think it’s a different hockey game.

Reporter:

Taylor [Heise], you’re back, but I mean, are you- how close to 100% are you? Are you still kind of dealing with the illness a little bit?

TAYLOR HEISE:

Yeah, I was sick. But regardless of that, like you just have to go out there and play for your teammates. Wasn’t my best. Come back the next game and figure it out.

Reporter:

Claire [Thompson], what was tough out there today? With, you know, players you have out or how [???]. What was difficult today? Was it just tough from the jump?

[I don’t know what is up with their mics today, but they are incredibly sensitive. Once again a combination of someone breathing and a rather ramshackle question make it too hard for me to accurately get down.]

CLAIRE THOMPSON:

Yeah, I mean, I think early on we had a lot of chances. Kudos to Schroeds [Corinne Schroeder], she played amazing. I think we believe in the people we have in this organization and in this locker room. I think that if we- like coach said, if we got one early on that’s a completely different game. I like the chances that we had and I like how we played and the chances we gave ourselves.

Reporter:

Ken, how does it look for Zum [Grace Zumwinkle]?

[For the record the reporter seemed to actually forget her name and another reporter had to supply it for him.]

KEN KLEE:

How does it look for Zum? I think she’s gonna be out for 2-3 weeks. But I know she talked with the doctors and that. So they were happy it wasn’t gonna be longer. So I think anytime a player leaves during a game you’re worried it could be a long term injury. Which we think it’ll be 2-3 weeks and hopefully she’ll heal up well and be back for us.

Reporter:

Upper body?

KEN KLEE:

Upper body. There you go. Upper body. I like it. I don’t know if you saw her walking around, that would narrow it down. But yeah, upper body.

Reporter:

Were you surprised that Britta [Curl-Salemme] was suspended?

KEN KLEE:

Yes and no. I mean, yes I was when it happened and we saw it after, but I know the league is really trying to set a precedent that if they deem it a dangerous play they’re gonna crack down on it. So you know, they’re setting the precedent. So that means they better, in my mind, they better be watching every game, watching every hit, watching every penalty. That’s basically the message that I’m giving the team is that they are gonna be watching. So in that regard obviously we want the game to be safe. We don’t want players to get injured. We don’t want risky type plays that could lead to injury.

Reporter:

Taylor, how were you and how are you feeling?

TAYLOR HEISE:

I wasn’t quite sure when I woke up this morning. I think it’s just, you look at the people on our team, there’s just a lot of sick people. If you put a microphone in there you would have heard a lot of coughing and sneezing. But I think, at the end of the day, you just go out there and play for your teammates. I’m gonna be fine. It’s an illness, it’s not something that’s gonna kill ya. So, drink a lot of water, eat, sleep, and I’ll be good for next game.

Reporter:

Claire, you got the December [Insert pharmaceutical sponsor here]-Star of the month. Any reaction to that?

CLAIRE THOMPSON:

I guess I’m pleased with my first month back of hockey. Or, second month? I don’t even know what month it is now. But yeah, it’s a testament to the people that I’m playing with. You don’t get assists without people putting the puck in the back of the net. So we have a lot of people doing their job and I’m grateful to be a part of it.

[End of video.]

[chaoticmannamedoliver]

Okay so, below is a health ish update and a vent about my former GP- cause they did smth that feld dehumanizing. This is mostly just so other people who might have similar health issues to me, can point me into right directions....im iffy about doctors rn-

Contents:

- stupid thing my GP did

- listing of my pains i have that neither of my 2 GP's ive been to acknowledged or bothered with. If you have something similar or know ANYTHING, i really need help, even just little things to make it easier.

- So, what my last gp did -

So i had an appointment with her recently that i took my boyfriend too since he was visiting me anyway- love him

I sat down, and the whole appointment was just a disappointment. She basically gave up on figuring out why im dizzy or why my blood pressure is so high with 18. I asked what im supposed to do with my heart, what im supposed to do about the dizzy- that i came to her for answers- but the woman who seemed so keen on finding out whats wrong with me, cursing my first gp for just prescribing me HBP Meds without further research and who daid she loved working with young adults...just apparently gave up n said is nothing n that i should just continue talking my meds. I had my shitty ass cane to the appointment with me, which she asked about - and i said it helped me with my dizzy, to which she rolled her eyes

She offered one more test, probably just to get me out and left for a bit to talk with a doctor. In the meantime i had a breakdown because i got no answers- and didn't get any further.

When she came back, she told me to get up and go straight, i asked to where exactly- then she grabbed my arm, took my cane from me and with a very uncomfortable grip, dragged me to the waiting area in front of the room for the last test and sat me down, giving the cane to my probably very taken aback partner who had followed us and mutteredthat i didn't need it and. I had another breakdown and didn't understand what happened yet- but it felt bad, dehumanizing?? GP asked me not to cry, and that what she did was just to give me courage and then just left. It felt like she never listened to anything i said- and i still don't know what to make of what happened - if anyone has suggestions- do tell? It felt....hurtful

- My issues and ows and whatnot -

So, there are a few, especially now that i have someone who actually tells me that they're not normal.

- my feet/heels start hurting after 5 ish minutes of standing

- i get dizzy if i stand for a minute or two on bad days and good days it kicks after 1-10 minutes

- heat and shower makes dizzy worse. A sitting think in the shower would make it better

- i have too high blood pressure if i don't take the meds.

- no, the dizzy doesn't come from any ear organ stuff. Tested that.

- the dizzy had gotten. Better after the meds, now its hard to tell.

- sometimes my gravity just says no.

- after maybe 30 min to an hour of walking, my feet/heels hurt. After a certain point i get dizzy. Then no amount of break will fix it. I need to lay down.

- without my cane, walking feels heavy. Please let me use my cane for fucks sake im going to hit the next doctor who says i don't need it i swear to GOD.

- growth pain. After a day of walking. Or cleaning. My knees and shins hurt. Especially once im laying again. They hurt so much that i want to claw at them. Take them out. Agony. Luckily ive started to recognize the kinda pain early and take a paracetamol- but without it? Not matter what position, im in pain

I don't think im supposed to have growth pain anymore with almost 19, right?

- when i get dizzy, the ground feels like its zooming away from me

- i was born at the end of the 6th month? If that helps any-

- inherited migraines from my dad- also just side info

[hwaseonghwasworld]

Best friends brother chapter 10 LAST PART: I Always Come Prepared

Summary: Yunho doesn’t want his baby sister (Y/n) dating any of his friends especially Mingi since they are like brothers to him and it’s an issue when all Y/n’s friends are dating Yunho’s friends but he wouldn’t let Y/n talk to any guys since he’s so overprotective, it’s such a shame that she’s been with Mingi for almost 2 years and no one knows. What will happen if Yunho finds out?

Song Mingi x Reader

Warnings: cursing, smut, fights

Word count: 1k

Genre: series, angst, comedy, fluff, hidden relationship, High school au

Updates: probably Friday at 10pm BST

“Mingi we should go to Kang Daniel’s fan sign” Mingi sigh eyed me saying “why do you like him so much?” I hit his arm a little “what do you mean his voice is so angelic and his dancing” I was blushing just saying those and he rolled his eyes.

“Can we go pleaseeeeee” “fine” “why do you want me to come anyway” I looked at him and told him “for comfort” “and you know I don’t like going places alone” he nodded then I jump onto him kissing his cheeks.

A couple year later me and Mingi live together in an apartment in Seoul but Mingi is a Kpop idol with his friends while I go to Yonsei University, and I study interior design. Mingi proposed to you recently since you two have been together for 7 years.

You were about to go to uni and since Mingi has to be up early as well so you both ended up waking up at the same time, as soon as you both get ready you kiss Mingi goodbye after dropping him off to the company’s and driving to my university, I made new friends in uni since my friends are also kpop idols so they don’t go here.

“Y/n that dress that you made in class is so beautiful” I smile and thanked her, we went into class and I got a text from Mingi, I smile and texted him back.

“You’re having a wedding?” “Yeah me and Min- my boyfriend have been together for 7 years” “and you didn’t invite us?” I never told them that I was dating a kpop idol since I felt like there was no need, my graduation is soon anyway and my wedding is a month after, but since I’ve known my friends for 4 years I guess it’s best to just let them come “of course you guys are invited, we haven’t really sorted out the guest arrangements yet anyway” “ok so like when is it” I told them where and when it is, and said how they wouldn’t bring anyone I don’t know but they can bring a date, since I didn’t want people to know that I’m married to an idol yet since the groups dating ban hasn’t ended yet even though almost all the members are in a relationship.

“So why doesn’t he go here” I looked at them trying to find something to say “he works” “ohh ok” “oh yeah Y/n did you see ATEEZ’s new comeback.” “No I don’t really listen to them” she showed ma a picture of the 8 boys and I kept my eyes on Mingi “so whose your bias?” “Wait she looks like a Yunho bias” “yeah they look the same too” I looked at them shocked and disgusted, I did not want them to say that even if they don’t know about me and Yunho being siblings, “my bias is Mingi actually”

“Really?, my bias is Hongjoong” I looked at them and nodded as they were fangirling over each member “I really wish I could marry Mingi, he’s literally husband material” I nodded agreeing with them since it’s true, Mingi is husband material.

After school I decided to go grocery shopping, while I was searching for stuff someone back hugged me and I turn around seeing the man with a mask and a hat covering his eyes, I knew it was Mingi and I hugged him putting my head on his chest smelling his scent. “What are you going here, what if someone sees you” he smiled giving me a hat and mask so it seems less suspicious “I always come prepared princess” I smile as he helped me hold the basket.

When we were about to pay and Mingi could see that the woman could recognize him, he put his head down so she couldn’t see his eyes. We walked out and went into the car, “I think the lady saw me” I looked at him shocked “wait really” “Yh but I don’t think she realized who I am I nodded hoping he doesn’t get a scandal.

Once we walked into our apartment and ATEEZ and (G)-idle were here I was shocked to see them since I thought they were busy, I hugged them, they had another member called soojin and she was so nice she hugged me and smiled at me wanting to know about the wedding, “so how when’s the wedding?” I looked and Mingi and smiled then back at soojin, “it’s in 3 months”

A couple months later it was the wedding ceremony, i was taking pictures and as my friends from my uni saw me with Mingi walking up to me and kissing me, getting ready to take pictures with him. “Wait … Mingi IS YOUR HUSBAND!” I looked at them in shock as my brother answered them still lowkey not wanting us to be together “yup” “I don’t even know why my sister chose my best friend, but it is what it is” the girls were just flabbergasted, they didn’t know how to react. “Ok so let me get this straight, you’re getting married to a kpop idol, your brother is a kpop idol, and your friend are kpop idols too” “yes” I answered as they stood there in utter shock “THATS SO COOL” I laughed a little as we took pictures to and they go to the main venue.

While I was walking down the isle so me and Mingi could finally get married my friends looked at me excited as they were quietly rooting me on, I turned to look at Mingi and he kept looking at me the whole time, as soon as we finally got to kiss people cheered us on as Mingi pulled me closer and wrapping his arms around my waist while I cupped his cheeks as we pulled into a soft passionate kiss.

💖

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Taglist: @scarfac3 @huachengsbestie01 @tunaasan

Side note: I apologize if this seemed rushed I’ve been pretty busy with my exams which is the reason why the time is so messy and also because of the writers block but i will try and have better timing with the next ff and try and make it longer

Thank you for reading this ff💖