#i need my gay and trans little group back

[abalidoth]

Anon was looking for advice?

Right now: do something other than social media or reading the news. Play a game, pick up a hobby, go for a walk, try a new recipe, ground yourself in something. Let your brain process everything by putting it on the back burner, let it percolate. Remember that you do have a voice, that the worst thing you can do is check out, that the most radical thing you can do is be kind.

Next few weeks: Keep working on the things that bring you joy. Make plans for the future. Assess where you are and where you want to be — physically, mentally, personally, geographically. Schedule doctor’s appointments. Delete your Twitter. Make new friends, connect with old ones, talk to your neighbors, join a community group. If you have a supportive family, talk to them too. By propping up others, teaching others, reassuring others, you help yourself too. Find a mutual aid group. Keep your head up. Love yourself and don’t wallow in despair. Remember that you do have a voice, that the worst thing you can do is check out, that the most radical thing you can do is be kind.

Next few months: execute on the plans for the future. Keep going with those hobbies. Keep loving yourself. Read reliable, fact-based news. Delete your Twitter (for real this time). Bake bread for your neighbor. Celebrate the holidays. Buy concert tickets as far out as you can, give yourself things to look forward to. Volunteer at a community center. Take a class. Teach others about how us queers and faggots are just people too. Remember that you do have a voice, that the worst thing you can do is check out, that the most radical thing you can do is be kind.

Next 6 months: Keep executing your plans. Write your representatives. Plant a little garden. Learn an instrument. Go to a zoo. Keep reading fact-based news (AP, Reuters, ProPublica, NPR even though it’s a bit biased to the left). When the sun comes out, get some bread, cheese, apples, and grapes, put them in a basket, go for a gay little picnic. Don’t make another Twitter account. Stock up on meds. Learn a new TTRPG. Pick up a fibrecraft. Remember that you do have a voice, that the worst thing you can do is check out, that the most radical thing you can do is be kind.

Next 4 years: make little baby steps to move towards your plans. Keep building relationships. Vote in local elections. Volunteer for state or national elections. Recognize that you live in a stupendously large country with assloads of diversity. Love yourself. Lift up other people. Remember that you do have a voice, that the worst thing you can do is check out, that the most radical thing you can do is be kind.

Shit is going to be really really rough for many many people. But if you’re reading this, you can’t give up, you can’t give in, you have to keep going. If you’re trans, if you’re queer, if you’re a freak and a faggot, you have to live.

Full disclaimer that I live in western Washington state, I’m white, I have a tremendous amount of privilege. I do my damndest to help people and use my own privilege to help others. I’m not perfect nor infallible, but reach out if you need something.

And if you’re still reading this, I love you.

Thank you. That helps a lot.

[lovecatsys]

i think we should get a lost club book its been a LONG time since we had a new book with a teenage mutant team in it. Like, I wanna see:

Cosmar being a main character again

Shela and Martha being gfs hopefully after their relationship starts in Lethal Legion

Leo making progress in her transition (and just being established more as a character tbh)

Anole and Rain Boy kicked out maybe replaced by Brutha Nature and another of Ayala's characters who are established as being around Gabby and Tashi's age (the age stuff is so weird 😭)

Gabby being written as the age she should be at this point (15-16) and just getting more time and character development, also her queerness being touched on/confirmed

I want Vita Ayala to do this SO much I'd love to see the way they write Shela and also just love to see them doing stuff again I miss their writing so much

[hoodedjelly]

my Jenny, Tuck, Brad, Shelden, and Vega older designs ^__^

i'm watching mlaatr, still not done, i think i got like 10 more eps (and if i'm being transparent i skipped around eps... i just wanted to see vega...). And i'm absolutely loving the show!!!! i love these characters a lot, didn't like Shelden at first i'm going to be honest, #1 Shelden hater for a bit there. but he chilled out in season two and i started to ship breldon with that too so now i just love him so much.

more about my personal headcanons:

Jenny: - I am under the belief that she is transgender. Jenny was made genderless, so her deciding to be a girl was strictly her choice and i believe that makes her trans. (She's also a lesbian) - she did grow a bit, im not gonna explain how idc really i just liked her being a taller lady :-) - she has A LOT of different cute outfits and hair styles, honestly too much to draw. she never transforms back into her base show outfit when crime fighting, she just fights in her cute summer dress she don't care. - her and vega are dating grrgrgrrrr - when vega is in rule she makes it so there is complete free access between earth and cluster prime for citizens in both places. - I say that cause i think when jenny is older she moves in with vega, technically living in cluster prime but visits earth like everyday. And brad/shelby/tucker/wakeman visit cluster prime - Jenny also hangs out with the nicktoons unite gang, but i deffo feel like its just that secondary friend group that you don't talk to with for months. when you talk again its the same goofiness as before - i think danny calls for her help when he needs it (also manny) Tuck: - he is still a little shit but we love him - adhd boy - questioning cis (he/him) - he got into robotics/stem and builds little silly things - with that, he gets help from Shelby - pretty much just a silly teen, he's on the internet a lot and has "cringe" interests - but idk he's having fun and being silly and finding himself (those interests is stuff like sonic and among us) Shelden(Shelby) - honestly kinda nervous about ppl thoughts on my Shelden, idk it makes so much sense in my brain - hits you with the transfem beam (she/they) Pansexual (she just wants anyone type of vibe) - I think when jenny is visiting vega often that leaves Shelby and Brad hanging out alone a lot. which they don't mind honestly, they are actually good friends! - but during that they just get closer and start catching feelings. Shelby eventually lets go of her feelings about jenny and realizes they were a real jerk and weirdo to her. brad helps them through that and eventually her realizing she's trans. blah blah they in love and kiss at some point. - Shelby is also a furry lmaooo her fursona is a cat.

Brad: - bisexual cis man (he/him) - Still his old brad self if i'm being honest. - totally forgot to say i think all 3 of them go off to college together (even though jenny doesn't have to i feel like she would prob want to just for the experience, but tell me if you think differently i'm still unsure) - i really don't know what else to say sorry brad! he's literally just as silly as ever man. he's just also gay - i will say here i feel it takes a lot longer for shelby and brad to start dating then jenny and vega. they got that slow burn kinda shit going on, since a lot of that is shelby being confused about her feelings. and jenny and vega just hit it off right away if im being honest, very high school sweethearts. - (also i think shelby makes brad make a fursona to match hers, so brad got a dog fursona)

Vega: - Lesbian cis (she/her) - That ending of her just ruling cluster prime was just so crazy to me cause like, aint she like 16? - i think she has a lot of stressed nights and fearing she's not doing the right thing for her people, and jenny tries to help as much she can - that is why jenny visits so much, she wants to help her. - very much got those nights were she accidently falls asleep at her desk, jenny finding her and giving her a blanket and a kiss goodnight - it's not like she's unhappy, she is actually very very passionate about her work and wants to NOT be like her mom - and yeah she deffo goes to robo therapy for the stuff with her mom. - i think it's a conflict where vega is scared her mom is gonna come back and jenny has to reassure her that if she does they'll get rid of her for good.

imma be honest a lot of my hcs are pretty half-baked and random things, im sure im going to think of more stuff in the future but that will be in different posts.

[dmfromtheblacklagoon]

It seems people really enjoyed the last headcannon post, so I have returned, this time with headcannons for the non-romanceable characters!

I love all of the characters in this game, and have created so many little dumb ideas for them, so here ya go!

We have confirmation that Linus came from a wealthy family, but put this life aside, donating his money to various charities and organizations to help others, and I like to imagine that he still enjoys working with these charities from time to time, whether this be shelter work, environmental care, or supporting other people!

Willy never had children, but took in Elliot as his own, teaching him everything he would need to know regarding the seas, and quickly takes in Farmer as well, after learning about their love for fishing.

Gus is a trans guy! I don't have any evidence for this, but I just adore Gus so much and need this in my life.

Gunther is a long-time DM, and runs a small group with some of the local teens, and maybe some of the adults! I feel like his fascination of antiques and old treasures has assisted his DMing skills, or possibly the other way around!

Kent has learned how to sew, knit, and garden in order to get closer with Jodi and the kids once he returned to Pelican Town. (He's trying to be a better dad, he already is such a good guy :])

Mr. Qi is quite close with both Sandy and Gus, considering them friends!

Pierre was a college dropout, yet still considers himself a "man of study", I'm sorry, I just can't see this man as anything but an arrogant asshole.

The Wizard is incredibly supportive of the queer folks in the town, and Farmer, and will offer help with anything. Gender change? He's got you. Voice manipulation? He's got the stuff. Just be careful if he invites you to share a pipe!

Marlon and the Wizard are the local salty gay couple, Statler and Waldorf style, and lurk in the back during the flower dance, taking the last dance for themselves.

Pam loves thrifting and going on antiquing sprees with Harvey, and she knows how to absolutely steal a deal, girlie would most definitely punch an old woman over an auction item.

This is all I have atm, but if you want more, please let me know!! I love making stupid little theories for the glorbos. :]

[batboyblog]

hey thanks for not being super doomer over these anti-trans bills. i kept on seeing so many people being defeated over them and it messed up my mental health for a while, like nothing could be done. but you did bring up some good points and shed some light onto people who are actively fighting for us so i thank you again

The queer movement, in the US any ways, has always been cyclical, we make big gains and push forward, then there's a super scary backlash. We're right now at the hight of a really scary backlash thats focused on trans people in particular but is anti-queer more generally. It's intense but its important to remember these backlashes don't generally last very long, they are scary, but each time they've happened, the mid to late 1970s, the 1980s, the early 2000s, the tide has gone out and gay rights, LGBT rights, and society's acceptance of LGBT people has been farther along than before they have never ever managed to turn us back in the years since Stonewall.

And as intense and scary as this is in some ways it's better than last time, when I was a gay teenager. in those days... in 2004 and 2008 the Democrats running for President were uniformly against gay marriage (the big issue of that time) they were trying to get us to settle for the not marriage alternative of civil unions. Only a handful of Congresspeople (some of them gay themselves) in DEEP! blue districts dared to support gay marriage outright. Today the Democratic Party is the most pro-LGBT major political party in the world, you had the President and every Democrat of any note making statements for TDOV a few days ago and you're not seeing even red state Democrats back down and agree to be "a little transphobic" for votes. It felt a lot more lonely last time when it was us and a handful of allies fighting the backlash with most of the Democratic Party on the side lines handwringing and saying "well can't you wait?"

any ways this movement is and will always be a struggle, the rights we've won, the acceptance we've received has never just been given, it's been won, through hard work. Everyone has to dedicate themselves to work in their corner of the earth to the best of their abilities and to push themselves past what they think they can do. That means hooking up with LGBT rights groups on the ground to protest, to rally, to try to support and comfort those queer people who are down and out in whatever way right now, it means digging deep and having hard and awkward conversations with the people in your life, if you're gay or trans or whatever and you got that one aunt/uncle/cousin/whoever in your life that loves you to bits but you know still votes Republican and you just don't bring it up because you don't want to hurt the relationship... have the talk keep having the talk as many times as you need to. Tell your grandparents if they don't know, tell your parents (if its safe or if you don't need their money any more) tell co-workers who don't know etc, they vote for us 2 to 1 if they know they know one of us. Finally register to vote, make sure all your friends particularly if you're young are registered and vote, vote in every election. Trust me it's AMAZINGLY easy to find the email of candidates for school board or city council and it's amazingly easy to ask questions. Last election I emailed every school board candidate about Holocaust education, and the state rep candidate about trans rights, she wrote me back a lovely note and mailed be a sticker she'd picked up from a trans rights group. It's amazingly easy to get involved, I volunteered with my local democrats for one election and they offered me the #3 spot in their local party, I have the phone numbers of my state rep and state senator without trying really, you can get in the room with these people, with candidates for governor, congress, I have my picture with 3 US Presidents? its not hard to do, and you can use chances like that to talk to them and show them your humanity and leave an impression that really matters in the long run.

sorry to RAMBLE but it's important that everyone do their part, pick a little something, a project to push this thing forward, people doom scrolling, particularly posting about how its hopeless does not help, posting in general doesn't help much even if its not doomerism, I think in the years after the anti-gay marriage Bush backlash we got very online and we got very "progress just happens" and a lot of people fell out of the habit or came of age without the habit of protest and without a local queer community or local progressive community and its very important in the face of this to find or build those and also understand in some places its gonna be years of work to get where we want to go, but we will and it'll be worth all the work.

[jp-nichts]

U-phoria is my latest project that I've been working on while I wait for Reactors & Romance to come back from the printers.

Steal from the rich and give to the dysphoric in this one-shot heist for CBR+PNK where the Runners engage in a high-speed vehicle heist through the chaotic streets of the Iris neighborhood. Runners need to steal a shipment of designer organs and augmentations before they reach the gated community of Star Valley Heights. The rich might want to flaunt their latest body mods, but the U-phoria Collective needs them to provide free gender affirming care.

This is going to be a submission for the CBR+PNK game jam happening on itch.io HERE. I wanted to make something that was a little more hopeful for the cyberpunk genre, and figured nothing was more punk and based than stealing from the rich to provide free healthcare for trans folks!

The adventure centers around the U-phoria Collective. A small illegal operation operating out of a queer bar called U-phoria. The group helps connect individuals with free gender affirming care. Unfortunately, providing such services are not  cheap and the members resort of black market and illegal dealings to fund their operation. (my original working title for this was "Be Gay do Crimes" but once I had the idea to replace the "eu" in euphoric with a U-Turn sign, I changed it)

[gor3sigil]

Little things about being transmasc and/or a trans man:

As trans men and/or transmasc, we always are told to "do better" than cis men, and at the same time to conform to the patriarchal model of masculinity (white, able bodied, strong, thin, necer show emotions etc) to be seen as men/masc.

But you have to understand that some trans men don't want to perform that type of masculinity or CAN'T altogether.

Furthermore, our sexual orientations are often weaponized against us. If we love men, we're called slurs or in more feminist spaces. we're told that we're just women with extra steps, and if we love women, we're asked why we can't just be lesbians or told that we are doing patriarchy all over again. And if you dare to identify gay, you're told that no gay men like p*ssies, and if you dare to identify as a lesbian, you can't because no lesbians like men. And that is without considering the very broad sexuality/romantic spectrum, where your transness is basically a weapon too (aromantic ? Yeah, figure, you're trans and confused. Bi ? Yeah, figure, you're trans and can't decide. Asexual ? Yeah, figure, you're trans or WORSE you're afab and traumatized and so on and so forth).

Gender nonconforming trans men/transmascs are relentlessly called trenders within the community or asked why they even bother to transition. In the outside world, we are often read as a threat and assaulted because of it. But if you are gender conforming, you'll have smirky cis women tell you how you just fantasised about being a Big Strong Man and are just matrixed by patriarchy or too traumatized to live as a woman.

Want to transition medically ? Oh, but T is a BAD hormone that does BAD thing like make you gain WEIGHT and gives you ACNE and makes you GROSS. On the weight topic I could write a book about the horrible fatphobia within the community because I kid you not, I have been a girl teen with EDs who hung out in pr* an* forums and I've seen some shit in transmascs groups and passing tips that have a real resemblance to what I saw back then. Same for transmascs/trans men fitness groups.

Don't want to transition medically ? Lol theyfab. Like so much a woman. Very lady like with a bonus of bringing the movement down.

When it comes to inside the community, we can't talk about specific issues without being shushed, intersex transmascs, and trans men face a LOT of hardships and are insulted. I remember a friend of mine who is an intersex trans man receiving death threats and got told to [redacted] himself when he talked about his experiences as an intersex trans man BY TRANS PEOPLE.

Bipoc trans men and transmascs are always confronted to the white standards of passing coupled with the rampant racism within and outside of the community.

And one thing I can not not bring up: I think a lot of people forget that we can't mourn our dead. Why ? Because these past years, transmascs and trans men have been forgotten from TDOR lists. I remember seeing Twitter threads from trans men adding them because we don't even KNOW when someone has died or they are deemed as women and the death is treated like a feminicide. And it has been a constant.

We can basically never please no matter what we do.

That's my 2 cents on the transandrophobia because I feel like it needs to be said. If you still think that trans men and transmasc individuals don't face specific issues, think again.

[pinchinschlimbah]

On "Coming Out" and Noel Fielding

I mentioned forever ago that I had this post in mind and then never got around to it, but now with the new interview quote I was yelling about recently it feels like a particularly good time to get it out of my brain and onto the page! tl;dr: musings on the concept of "coming out" as it has evolved over time, whether it's something that should continue to be necessary or expected of queer people, and why Noel is particularly inspirational to me in that regard since this is, after all, my brainrot blog. This may be extremely long and a bit disjointed but I hope some of y'all will enjoy it!

So a while ago myself and several friends were discussing the concept of coming out. All of us are some flavor of queer both in gender and orientation, but each is in a different place along their self discovery and identity journey, with some being long since out and proud, and others just starting to dip their toes into exploration past the expected cishet.

This discussion actually was prompted by a different discussion about Noel, spurred by comments we'd come across slamming him as being homophobic/transphobic on Bakeoff for making comments suggesting he has romantic or sexual attraction towards Paul, referring to himself with female-centric terms, playing female characters in the skits, and a particular moment where he brings up Old Gregg while talking to KimJoy and says "he was a sea transsexual....quite a demanding role for me" while laughing to indicate that that last part was said in jest. Hey fellas, is it homophobic/transphobic to be a little bit gay and trans? This got us talking about how the current culture of queer identity has evolved to the point where "coming out" feels more like something the public feels they're owed in order for them to view one's expression as valid, rather than its original purpose as something one does for themself in order to live most authentically. I don't think I need to go into detail about how many artists have been harassed by their "fans" into coming out before they were ready because people wouldn't accept the validity of that person's work without knowing exactly how that person identified, there've been plenty of articles and video essays and better written tumblr posts about that, but it's definitely a concerning trend. It can be particularly dangerous when it comes to people who aren't feeling confident or safe enough to come out, who end up being criticized and shunned by the queer community as being somehow problematic for not being able to fully articulate to a group of strangers the ways in which they're experiencing their identity. In this situation, the people who are struggling the most end up with the least support. Forcing people to either declare an identity or get out just leads to more people staying closeted out of fear of doing it "wrong" and never getting the chance to explore the most authentic and joyful versions of themselves, or even worse, feeling the need to out themselves before they're in a safe place to do so and suffering the resulting consequences. Questioning or cautious people deserve space in the community to experiment even if they haven't yet or maybe never will come out! My high school's Gay Straight Alliance was comprised entirely of "straight allies" when I was there. There was not a single "out" person in the school at the time. Nearly all of us in the GSA ended up being some flavor of queer or trans years later after graduation. But whether it was intentional closeting or just feeling an innate affinity towards something we couldn't quite pinpoint at the time, we all knew we belonged there and made that space for ourselves and others like us. Back when "coming out" first became a concept in the public consciousness, it was during a time where cishet identity was not just considered the default, but the only option. By coming out, queer people were giving genuinely revolutionary representation for themselves and others like them by telling the world that, as the old saying goes, we're here, we're queer, get used to it! Nowadays, we're lucky to live in a culture that is much more cognizant of queer identities being a thing, so in many cases coming out has become less about having to explain to those around you the basic concept of queerness existing, and moreso about which specific identity you fall under, and that's where things get messy.

My friends and I shared our own thoughts and experiences. One is currently identifying as "unlabeled" because they haven't found a term that feels correct yet, and therefore hasn't come out because they wouldn't know what to say. One spoke about how when they first came out they were much more insistent on what terms or pronouns people used for them but as time has gone on they've grown to find joy in being inscrutable and letting others wonder what they're perceiving. One expressed that given the state of the world they've been retreating somewhat back into the closet for safety reasons rather than being super outward with their queerness like they used to and is working on learning to embrace those parts of themself again. One said they felt like they'd already been existing as queer and expressing that queerness "before I even had the terms to come out to myself" and is now working on catching up on the conscious end of figuring out what's what. I myself never really had an official "coming out", I just became increasingly visually/socially/vocally queer as I became more and more confident in who I was and what I wanted to be and who I had on some level always been, and decided if people didn't get the hint that's their own problem. I came into consciousness of my queerness during the early 2010s original tumblr MOGAI microlabel boom, where there was a ton of focus on figuring out the hyper specific identity labels that exactly described what you were experiencing. I did a lot of digging and soul searching and experienced a lot of unnecessary stress trying and failing to find my perfect labels and landed on clumsy terms like "full time drag queen" because it was the closest I could get to what I was feeling about my gender, only to be told it was problematic for me to call myself that as an AFAB person because drag "belongs to cis gay men" (don't get me started on that statement, that's a whole other essay lol) It was a real wake up call once I distanced from these aggressively labeled and segmented online spaces and made my way into real world queer communities where I was relieved to find that in fact no one there asks to check your membership card before letting you in, if you feel like you belong there you're welcome no questions asked.

I had other people in these communities referring to me as "queer" and "fag" and "gay" and "queen" before I felt comfortable doing so myself based on online Discourse I'd experienced over who is Allowed to use certain terms, and having these community leaders I respected recognizing those things in me and welcoming me in like that gave me the confidence to really find my own footing in ways that attempting to find my exact correct identity label so that I could officially proclaim it never did. Once I could answer the question of what I was with a shrug and "queer I guess!" things became so much easier. Microlabels can be incredibly helpful and liberating for some, don't get me wrong if it works for you that's great, but let's not pretend that everyone is going to have the same experiences.

So anyway, back to Noel. Noel has never, to my knowledge, ever had any sort of official “coming out” or explicitly referred to himself as queer. So I know there are people out there who will disagree with me considering him to be queer. But so much of what he’s said and done throughout his several decades long career has indicated to me that this is clearly someone of queer experience navigating the world as such, and just as the queers in my local community welcomed me as one of them before I knew to do it myself, I extend that welcome forward. 

Let’s take a look at some of the facts. In the public span of his career, Noel has.....(in no particular order, also if anyone wants to add additional instances of note in the reblogs or comments please feel free, this is by no means a fully comprehensive list) -repeatedly called himself "the woman of the Boosh" or Julian's/Howard's "wife" in ways that suggest that's how he actually felt about it rather than it just being a punchline that he was mistaken for female in the show [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] -referred to himself at the GQ "Man of the Year" awards as "never been a man" and "a sort of girl, he/she" -been referred to by Sandi Toksvig as being "on the cusp" in regards to gender, to which he reacts with amusement and acceptance -consistently expressed excitement and appreciation when others refer to him with feminine terms or say he looks like a girl [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] -said "I love being a man-woman, it's much more interesting than being one or the other" and expressed that the loved shooting the Boosh Electro episode for this reason -referred to Vince Noir (a character who he's been pretty open about being based on himself) as "wasn't seemingly one gender or the other" -expressed that he felt most free and happy when presenting femininely [2] -had Julian, one of the people closest to him, express that Noel and Sandi (an out lesbian) may have "real sexual chemistry" because Noel is "all over the shop, he's a different sex" -used the "Confuser" line of "Is it a boy? Is it a girl? I'm not sure I mind" to refer to himself rather than Vince, and express that he's had to work to find new ways to feel as androgynous as he'd like now that he's older -referred to himself as a lesbian [2] -said that he "sometimes looks in the mirror and sees a woman", in the same interview that Julian implies that Noel is in fact a girl -referred to himself as a "girl/boy" -consistently referred to himself with feminine terms on panel shows and bakeoff -made a joke on bakeoff about not being a testosterone-based person -responded positively when asked about the ways Boosh had influenced queer and nonbinary youth -has said he's "quite obsessed with the man/woman mixup thing" -has said if he was an animal he'd want to be a seahorse because the males get pregnant -Had Lee Mack, who Noel used to live with, refer to him as "the little transsexual one, yeah I think she's fantastic" in a Boosh documentary and "a young lady who came out here happy to be herself" in response to Noel's Wuthering Heights drag performance -had his own mother refer to him as "the daughter I always wanted" -described his own appearance as that of a "transsexual witch" and when an interviewer attempted to make fun of him for calling himself "a transgender witch" by showing Noel a drawing the interviewer clearly found repulsive, Noel responded that the interviewer was "holding up a mirror" and called the image his passport photo

And I'm not even going to bother citing sources on the countless times he's made comments suggesting romantic or sexual attraction towards men. Literally just watch any non-character appearance he's ever done, it's kind of his whole thing??? Not to mention his penchant for picking up explicitly queer and gnc character roles, and also just [gestures vaguely to everything Noel and Julian have said about each other suggesting romantic and sexual tension between them and how they used their characters as an excuse to explore those feelings in a less scary way, again that could be a whole other essay on its own but ooh boy] I also think there's something interesting to explore in the idea of Noel repeatedly referring to his appearance as transgender or transsexual rather than identifying himself as such- at what point does the appearance of something become reality?

It all begs the question- is it even a joke anymore if it's that consistent? Either it's not a joke and it's an authentic expression of his real feelings and experiences, or he for some reason really really wants everyone to believe that he's queer when he's not, with this behavior spanning back to a time before the concept of queerbaiting was on anyone's minds and when being publicly queer could mean the end of your career. Which scenario do you think is more likely? And, does someone who’s been conducting themself like this for their entire career really NEED to come out? Honestly, I find this level of simultaneous authenticity and inscrutability aspirational.

In this Velvet Onion interview from 2012, Noel compares his penchant for dresses to both Grayson Perry and Eddie Izzard. This is interesting because those two people represent pretty opposite intentions behind their presentation- Grayson identifies solidly as cis male, and for him the shock value of crossdressing is the point, saying “I signed up for a gender and I want them to be very clearly delineated so I know I’m dressing up in the wrong clothes.” This doesn't seem particularly in line with where Noel is coming from given him famously referring to himself as "the Confuser" and stating in that same Velvet Onion interview that he "never even bothered giving it a label, I never went oh I'm a transvestite, I just went yeah if I fancy wearing a dress I do, never really thought about it really" Eddie on the other hand has famously said "They're not women's clothes. They're my clothes, I bought them." indicating that they were a genuine part of her authentic expression rather than a crossdressing costume, and has subsequently over the years identified more and more solidly as transfemme. I find Eddie's trajectory particularly fascinating because it's been so non-linear. In the 90s when the language for transness was much less public knowledge, she referred to herself consistently as a transvestite- a cishet man who enjoyed dressing as a woman, as well as using terms like "male tomboy" and "male lesbian" and "a full boy plus extra girl". Despite doing most of her standup shows in femme looks, most of her acting jobs were male-presenting, and there was a period of time in the 2010s where she dropped the femme presentation entirely in an attempt to be taken more seriously as the "crossdressing" was seen by many as a gimmick. Swinging back around more recently, Eddie has been explicitly identifying as genderfluid and transfemme, and in recent years has made the decision to "be based in girl mode from now on", and use primarily she/her pronouns. Since this announcement, in her trans advocacy work Eddie has described herself as being "out" as trans since the 1980s despite all of the above. She always knew who she was, it's just she's gotten access to more accurate terms over time to describe what she was experiencing, as well as feeling more safe to do so the more that transness became a known and accepted concept in the public eye.

The interview I mentioned at the very start of this post isn't really a coming out from Noel. And I don't think we'll ever really get one from him. In my opinion Noel has spent the past several decades conducting himself as someone who is in fact already out- it’s pretty clear Noel knows and is proud of who he is regardless of how he chooses to describe that identity. At this point, making some sort of official statement would just be for the benefit of others looking for clarification on their own perception of him and people who want to be able to put him in one box or another, and that’s not what coming out should be. The statement in the new interview is not "I am genderfluid", its "I've always been genderfluid", simply putting an accurate name to what's always been publicly visibly true now that he's got the terms to do so.

[johannestevans]

the thing about navigating queer spaces is that like... i'm in very different spaces than i was a few years ago, i'm a lot more in-tune with myself, my needs and my limits

being Assigned Dad by my friends and loved ones: fun, delightful, full of affection, sexy even, adds greatly to life's enjoyment

being Assigned Dad by random strangers w whom i do not have a connection: honestly weird, sometimes an overstep of boundaries, often uncomfortable

like there's such a difference between being out w my friends or home and like... being The Dad about being ~responsible~ or getting things done, or making jokes about how i'm being dad-coded when i'm struggling to send an email bc i'm 97 years old, etc

like esp within the constructed family unit of an intimate queer gathering, it's positive in many ways and comes off as very loving, bc so much of it is based in recognising traits of mine and connecting based off them

when strangers assign me dad traits, or treat me as a paternal figure, like

so there's a sort of labour in some queer communities that's often dropped on the shoulders of butches and trans men and mascs - there's the stereotypical DIY and also acting as "muscle" for other queers

but there's also often an expectation that because we're the "men" in the community (whether all of us are men or not), we have to take a position of being steadfast, less outwardly emotional, less demanding, etc. we're sometimes expected to stoically take abuse and act as shields for other members of the community who are supposedly more likely to be targeted by cisheteropatriarchal violence, and it's also sometimes treated as like...

bc of expectations of a certain toxic masculinity, when we do show vulnerability or emotional, when we express desires to be cared for or treated softly, this is sometimes treated as a negative thing, something that makes us less attractive and less desirable, etc

as a gay man and particularly as a really obvious fruit, i'm cognizant that i don't experience this nearly to the extent of many more masculine trans men, mascs, and butches, and esp those who are primarily intimate with women and fems, but i do see it in my communities and i do experience a little of it

and absolutely like. i do position myself on the outside of groups when we're moving as a crew, i do tend to take the front or back of the group, i'm generally more on the lookout than others; i'm also dad-coded in my tendency to keep ppl to a schedule or en route, i'm good (but cold) in a crisis, etc

but idk, like... i'm not a community dad. i'm not everybody's dad.

there's a certain desexualisation that comes with that that i think makes me really uncomfortable? it's a combination of the label being desexualising, this idea of like... if i'm the "dad" in a group, i'm not being viewed as a sexual being in the context of that group, and it's not about whether i actually want to fuck anybody there bc i typically don't, it's more like

the idea of that aspect of my humanity being set aside, because i'm being reduced to my role as caregiver/potential caregiver to the group rather than in my entire being as a member of the same community

and also, yeah, it's the expectation of that sort of caregiving labour where like... i am so happy to help, so much of the time. i will help when and how i am able to. but i'm also physically disabled, have continuous issues w fatigue, etc, and when ppl continuously bring problems to me when they're perfectly capable of being self-reliant, that's really hard for me, i think

esp now i feel like i'm not being pushed into those dad-esque roles in the same way - a friend of mine might sardonically say "thanks, dad" when i'm being particularly rigid about something, but i'm just as likely to get a "thank you, daddy" when i'm either particularly stern or particularly nice, and daddy i think actually is a lot better even though i'm not a daddy

lots of thoughts, lots of feelings.

[mistahgrundy]

I watched the second Joker movie. after the cut, massive spoilers! Massive rambling!

It's bad. Yes.

Little bit about me in case this escapes containment: I like villains. I'm a villain guy. I make a comic about villains! I've always liked them most in cartoons and comics etc since I was a kid. I am not an incel, I do not hate women. I am in fact a married gay trans man. I liked the first Joker movie. I like the joker. Although, gotta say, my fav joker is mark hamill joker because I am a man of taste lmao. I'm not really a Joker/Harley kinda person. I don't have strong feelings about that couple either way. So, that's me. I'm just a normal guy. I like batman comics but I don't keep up with them.

aaaaanyway. So like, the first movie is alright. It's not my favorite movie by any stretch of the imagination and I prefer the movie it's very obviously cribbing from (The King of Comedy).

a little confession: I did not watch this legally. I watched some kinda cam recording of it from a theatre. Maybe you're mad I did that or maybe you're glad I didn't give Todd Phillips money. Either way keep that to yourself I don't give a shit, I'm not going to a theatre to get covid for this.

Damn I am typing!! Sorry sorry I'll get to the movie. Here I go!

The movie starts with like a five minute fake old warner brothers looney tune starring Arthur Fleck in which his shadow keeps stealing his identity and hurting people. Weird. Ok. I kinda knew at that point I needed to buckle up for some self indulgence.

Short description of the plot: Arthur/Joker is in Arkham asylum now and he's medicated, the guards treat him like shit and pay him for jokes with cigarettes. He's got a lawyer and he's getting ready for a competency hearing to judge whether or not he can stand trial or if he'll be declared legally insane. The movie seems to weirdly imply that if he gets declared incompetent he'll be released but that's not how that works in real life...

While he's in Arkham he meets a girl named Lee in a singing group and here's where the movie just takes a hard right down into a drain. From now on you're in for a lot of off key singing from Arthur and pretty Ok singing from Lee (I mean it's Lady Gaga). It's kind of a drag on the movie, takes up a lot of time, and I think the movie would only be an hour long if it didn't have these 1970s style variety show interludes.

Arthur starts his trial and at some point Lee convinces him to fire his lawyer and defend himself as The Joker. The guards back at Arkham hate this and one night they all attack him in the shower and the movie seems to imply they did something pretty bad to him. Then when he's lying catatonic in solitary the guards murder one of his only friends in the asylum while he listens. He sorta just gives up at this point and doesn't wanna play anymore.

Nobody likes this. Lee hates it. Everyone abandons him. He wipes his makeup off confesses his mother's murder and just as the jury is announcing him guilty on all charges a carbomb goes off outside the court and Arthur escapes into the street aided by some guy dressed up as the joker.

After that Arthur finds Lee (Harley Quinzel) on those tall ass stairs from the first movie and she sings him that's entertainment signifying that their relationship is over and the cops arrest him.

He's taken back to Arkham and re medicated. Some time later a guard comes and gets him and tells him he's got a visitor and on his way another inmate stabs him to death, the end.

No you don't get to find out who that visitor was!!

Okay, so, thoughts! First of all, Arthur Fleck in this movie gets treated like an innocent baby man. In the first movie you can tell he's got problems, obviously, and he's a little bit pathetic and empathetic in the beginning but he's also you know in charge of himself despite his difficulty with reality. He's the one deciding to hurt others and murder.

But in the sequel it's all baby man all the time. He's a widdle baby a widdle birthday boy and none of this is his fault. Everyone's soooo mean to him. :( Harley Quinnzel is sooo conniving. She lied to him, boohoo, she's rich actually, she's a temptress. The movie goes out of its way to let you know that Arthur is low IQ, never went to highschool, his own mom hated him, he's gullible, he's passive and docile. He'd never hurt a fly... You think the movie will switch this up at some point and redeem itself? Hahahaahahaha nooooo in fact that way he just dies at end almost paints him as some martyred saint like biblical figure. If they make a (or were planning to make) a 3rd movie where he resurrects I am going to be so mad.

So Harley lies to him from the get go, tells him she's from his neighborhood, she's an arsonist, her abusive dad's dead, her mom's awful. In reality she's a rich girl with a psychiatric degree, her alive parents are doctors and obviously she is not from his neighborhood.

Honestly, and this probably would have made the movie even more fucked up, but I do wish the movie was more about this. It's barely about this. Joker forgives her basically instantly after a weird little musical fantasy sequence and it's like whatever. He has to forgive her, he's the perfect liddle baby man, remember? He's there to get abused and used by wily females. From Harley to his lawyer to his mother...

There was one scene in the movie that was good, and it was during the trial when they bring out Mr. Puddles from the first movie to testify. Mr. Puddles was in the party clown business with Arthur, he's a little person, and watched Arthur murder someone in the first movie.

He has a scene where he talks about how scared he was and how small he felt and how being there for that has hurt him and ruined his life and Joker almost has a moment of clarity. The only good scene in the movie. The scene where the movie itself almost has a moment of clarity.

Big props to Leigh Gill, who owned that scene hard.

Everything from Harley abandoning him after lying about being pregnant with their child (another wily female thing, baby trapping!!), his death, his trial, it's all just. Oh look at the poor lil guy. I find the whole thing really creepy. And all that for nothing. It was barely important to the plot.

Like yeah the musical interludes ground the movie to a dead halt and made the pacing very bad, but whatever about that. It's the PLOT that's the bad part. Holy moly.

Sorry if this is also poorly paced and not well thought out, lol, I'm just mind dumping after thinking about the movie for a day (I watched it yesterday)

But yeah them's my thoughts.

Also my cat just ate a click beetle and I don't think she liked it.

[bonezlyy]

I DIED 🫶🏼

I said I would be insansley active on this account but I wasn’t and forgot about it immediately

Im trying I promise you I just didn’t know what to post

WE’RE GONNA TALK ABOUT THE FRIEND GROUPS

WELL THEYRE ALL ONE BIG FRIEND GROUP AND LOVE EACHOTHER EQUALLY BUT THEY HAVE SPECIFIC THINGIES

OKAY SO

THIS IS GONNA BE A WEIRD BIG INFODUMP INSTEAD OF A NORMAL LIST

Starting with Error, Geno, Sci and Night. These fucking nerds 💕 Smart guys that talk about smart guy stuff (Idk what kind of smart things because Im not smart myself but still). They’re all calm and collected people that like to sit together and read books because they’re cute and silly guys. Geno and Night talk about Space stuff while Error and Sci talk about science and tech stuff.

NUMBER 2 IS THE STARS💕

I am so obsessed with Drinkberry you can not stop me. They’re all really silly and positive people and they all kiss like muah muah muah. And btw drinkberry, afterdeath and Scifell are the only canon ships you get. Idk what the other ones are I might just make them all kiss tbh. Well actually you might get Cherrberry too who knows. BUT ANYWAY BACK TO THE STARS. They just sit in on of their dorm’s and watch movies and kiss and cuddle I love them sm

NUMBER 3

I CANT TELL YOU HOW ODDLY OBSESSED I AM WITH REAPER, FELL AND PLUM BEING FRIENDS (cutely changes Lust from Hearts to Plum) THEY MET IN YEAR 7 WHEN NONE OF THEM WERE DOING SWIMMING AND IT BASICALLY WENT LIKE THIS

Teacher: Okay then so what’s your excuse today

All 3 of them at the same time by the power of gay friendship: I have tits

AND THEY JUST LOOKED AT EACHOTHER LIKE ???

And then they talked about being trans for the whole lesson, and then found out they were all bi and decided to be friends until one of them inevitably dies from alcohol poisoning 🫶🏼

I love them sm, they kiss in the best friend way that i long for

I need to get a grip girl they’re just skeletons pls

Obviously Cross, Dust, Horror, and Killer

These little heathens omg

They just create havoc wherever they go, accidental or not

This one is self explanatory tbh

AND THEN THE ART KIDS

Ink, Error, Plum, Reaper, Geno

Error and Plum are in textiles

Ink, Reaper and Geno do like regular art, idk what the word is for it but painting, drawing, charcoals and all that

Ink, Reaper and geno design and draw cool designs for Plum and Error to make as practice

ANYWAY THOSE ARE ALL I CAN THINK OF RN

I should probably start actually writing this soon

Ill post a link to the chapter when I do 💀

Help me I cant tell if my brother has a friend round or if he just randomly has a really good sound system and it sounds like theres someone in his room

Either way I cant leave my room because my social anxiety his horrendous and I will kms if I am seen 🙏🏼

[gabessquishytum]

Ferdinand Kingsley in Reacher is doing very wrong things to my head. I swear to god I do not normally find arms smugglers appealing in any way & do not even like military/copaganda shows & am thoroughly ashamed. But I've been thinking like... what if Hob is a gun guy with a progressive club that trains/protects marginalized groups (like Trigger Warning Queer & Trans Club: https://www.facebook.com/triggerwarninggunclub/ or any of these here: https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2019/jul/22/if-others-have-rifles-well-have-rifles-why-leftist-groups-are-taking-up-arms )

And ok, he's totally not a SMUGGLER (hates that word) but he will SOMETIMES help someone get a weapon who needs to protect themselves but can't because of bullshit convictions — like sex workers or people who've gotten caught up in spurious War on Drugs(/Poverty) crap or honestly just the racist system, whatever. And his background checks are like 1000x more careful than any of the usual gun show loophole-riddled checks anyway, & everyone who gets a weapon knows they'll have to answer to him if they go bad with it.

But mostly he's a friendly face teaching new folks their way around a weapon when they've literally never held one before or have only ever been to ranges full of 'phobes where they felt even less safe.

And maybe one day he comes across this skinny wild-haired Murphy shooting cans in the woods because things have gotten bad & he feels even LESS safe than he has his whole life here & he knows he's on his own to defend himself — it's not like reporting it would do any good, the Burgesses are too powerful in this little town & even his own family isn't that helpful. And Hob is like "Woah, woah, woah, where is your ear protection and also how about moving this safely to a range, my friend!" But he has to do some convincing because Murphy only ever knew about the 'phobe-filled ranges and has a hard time believing that someone would actually want to help/protect him & not have shitty views. And honestly Hob is SCARY attractive — emphasis on scary because Murphy has only ever known the worst kind of open-carry gun guys & actually come to think of it maybe shifting to a more populated location is wise...

And anyway, Hob is fucking great actually, and makes Murphy feel safe & introduces him to everybody at the local group & personally sees to his training, which is how they start really getting to know each other & boning all the damn time. And when Murphy moves into Hob's apartment, he feels safer than he ever has in his life.

And the Burgesses back the fuck off because they are cowardly fuckers at heart & honestly it turns out there are more people willing to stand up to them than they thought.

Queer Hob who hunts down homophobes in the woods for sport... hmm yes im vibing with this!! The thing I love about a.m in Reacher is the ✨️eroticism✨️ of the way he kills people. It's so gorgeous and there's a definite queer spiciness about him.

So yes Hob is a queer guy who is absolutely sick and kind of jaded by the way he's been treated him whole life, and he's determined to spread his self defence skills as far and wide around the gays as possible. When he finds out about the Burgesses and all that bullshit he's actually quite excited to teach lil baby gay Murphy to shoot and stab (when necessary). Hob doesn't have any intentions towards the young man, because he definitely is young and Hob doesn't really do relationships these days... but once he sees Murphy all kitted out and getting into Hob’s little group of gun toting gays, mud streaked on his cheeks and stomping around in his big boots!! Hob’s heart melts!!

Meanwhile Murphy is going weak at the knees over the older, slightly grizzled, VERY sexy man who's hands are covering his, teaching him how to point and shoot the gun, how to be safe. If Murphy falls asleep thinking about those hands in other, more intimate places... who's gonna blame him?

And if he ends up planting himself right in Hob’s lap when they sit down after target practice, that's his business. The way Hob wraps an arm around his waist to keep him safe gives him a good feeling about the future, anyways <3

[twig-tea]

Canadian LGBTQ+ rights; a whirlwind summary

Back in August of 2023 @wen-kexing-apologist wrote an absolutely stellar piece here, and I didn't want to co-opt it (especially because it was already written with an American gaze and I don't want to pile on/distract from the fact that we're talking about Thai BL) so I decided to make this a separate post. And then it lingered in the sad pile of my drafts. But, I'm gonna post it anyway, and take this as an excuse to talk about Canadian history of LGBTQ+ rights apropos of absolutely nothing except the most recent move of the provinces (specifically Saskatchewan) to use the notwithstanding clause to force through legislation that the courts have said goes against our charter of rights and freedoms--specifically legislation that says a teacher cannot respect a child's pronouns without permission of the parent. This is being taken to court (latest as of this writing is that in Feb 2024 the group fighting the law was granted the right to be heard by the court in spite of the notwithstanding clause being invoked, so there is still a chance of it getting revoked via the courts).

WKA talks about what the conversation was like in the US around queer rights in the 20th century; highly recommend reading the linked post first. In Canada the conversation was a little different though with very similar themes; we had the shift to a focus on "privacy" as the driver of our rights long before the HIV/AIDS epidemic, in the 1960s. So much of the push and pull of our laws around homosexuality and gender identity and expression have had to do with the public vs private.

Sodomy has been illegal in Canada since colonization (earliest known conviction: 1648) but laws against gross indecency, which included dancing, kissing, or touching between two men, didn't get codified in Canada until 1892 (and not extended to apply to women until 1953 (thanks)). While these laws essentially outlawed any physical public affection between men from the turn of the century, the fervor to root out and eliminate gayness from society didn't really reach its pitch until mid-century.

I need you all to know about the Fruit Machine, which was an ostensibly "scientific" detection device to identify and purge gay and lesbian civil servants from the military and public service in Canada. While the machine was built in the 1950s and used through the 1950s and 1960s, the practice of using psychology, polygraphs, and interrogation to force military and public servants to come out and take a voluntary discharge existed through to the 1990s.

Our former Prime Minister PE Trudeau made famous the line "there is no place for the state in the bedrooms of the nation" as part of his so-called decriminalization of homosexuality 1967; this is of course a joke because "buggery" and "gross indecency" stayed on the books for another 20 years, the only difference being they were only punishable if the people involved were under 21, there were 3 or more people present, or the participants were performing these acts outside of their home. You may notice that this meant the policing of public space was where and how homophobia continued to be perpetuated by the state via police.

Highlighting the importance of privacy as a framework for gay rights at this time, The Right to Privacy movement was the name for one of the forerunners of modern Canadian LGBTQ+ rights groups through the 1970s--though worth noting that this group in particular was criticized for its exclusion of WLW and our trans siblings (some of whom of course overlap). The infamous bathhouse raids of 1981 ("Operation Soap"), leading to at the time the largest arrest in Toronto's history, were one of the precipitating factors in the recognizable start of the modern LGBTQ+ rights movement. In 1986, five years after the raids and thanks to massive effort by LGBTQ+ organizing, sexual orientation was added to the protected list of attributes that it is illegal to discriminate against under the Canadian Human Rights Act (gender identity and expression was added in 2012), and in 1987 "anal intercourse" was made legal for those over 18 (the legal age of consent was made the same for everyone--16--in 2019), and "gross indecency" as a law was finally repealed. The fight for marriage equality was the next step after achieving real decriminalization, and was strongly based on the right to freedom from discrimination as protected by the Human Rights Act.

[Just going to take this moment to note that for some reason they never struck off the law criminalizing sodomy when more than two people are present; this is still an inequality on the books now and people do (rarely) still get charged with it.]

In the late 1980s and 1990s, the censorship fight was most famously held in the written sphere--if you've seen the movie Better than Chocolate, you might already be familiar what I'm talking about. From approximately 1986 through to 2000, Canada Border Services targeted shipments to queer bookstores, holding them up, sometimes destroying the content, putting those businesses at risk, and preventing queer content that passed through border control to be stocked in physical stores. It took the Supreme Court of Canada's ruling in 2000 to shut down that practice as an illegal suppression of a bookstore (Little Sisters in Vancouver, BC, shout-out!)'s right to freedom of expression.

Raids on safe spaces for sexual activity continued to be a driver for action through to the 21st century. The WLW bathhouse the Pleasure Palace (changed from "Pussy Palace" in the late 90s to be more inclusive of our sisters without that particular body part) was raided in the year 2000; 19 years after Operation Soap, and notably the first and last raid on a queer woman's bathhouse in Canadian history. What followed was a massive public coal-raking of police, including the very telling call to action: "out of the bars! Into the streets!" I don't think this was necessarily the intended implication at the time, but looking back the threat was that if we were not given our rights, we would be in everyone's faces (and conversely if we were given our rights, we'd be quiet). The legalization of marriage between any two consenting persons of legal age came five years later in 2005 (I don't mean to imply this effort was the only reason--the fight for marriage equality was active all the way through the 90s and early 2000s; it's just an interesting parallel that two of the biggest wins for equality for queer people in Canada came 5 years after a historic police raid).

One of the factors in gaining acceptance of LGBTQ+ people in Canada was the fight for marriage equality; as it focused the conversation on sameness rather than difference. The queer activism movement here pivoting from messaging around bathhouses and being left alone to marriage equality was an intentional, strategic attempt to be accepted as the same rather than being honoured for our differences. And that fight coming after the HIV/AIDS epidemic and bathhouse raids is no accident as it framed queer people directly in opposition to the stigma of promiscuity that surrounded assumptions about gay people which fed into the lack of support for medical intervention, research, and treatment for HIV/AIDS (here in Canada too, our history is just as gross on that front, people just don't talk about it as much. But Canada followed the US government's example, and so people were left without medical resources for at least eight years in Canada (since the first cases were identified here in 1982) and THREE YEARS after they had been approved by the US--AZT wasn't available in Canada until 1990. Three years in which people died unnecessarily. We similarly approved PrEP four years after the FDA, in 2016. Today, despite "universal health care", if you want access to PrEP, it will depend on the province you're in as to whether you can get it at all for free or whether you need to pay--in my province, it takes 2 months to get free PrEP).

Today, just over 50% of the people with HIV/AIDS in Canada are men who have sex with men; it's estimated 80% of people infected with HIV know their status, of those 75% are being treated, and of those 89% are effectively unable to transmit the virus. In that context, the ongoing fight re: HIV/AIDS in Canada today is around decriminalization, specifically decriminalization of drugs (since ~20% of HIV infections are from IV drug use--one of the many reasons I support harm reduction strategies), and the decriminalization of non-disclosure (since Canada is one of the few places where you can be charged for not sharing your HIV status with a sexual partner). Until very recently, we were also fighting to be able to give blood--it was only in 2022 that men who have sex with men were allowed to donate blood in Canada, which meant every visit to a blood donation clinic involved questions about the gender of your sexual partner(s). And, as mentioned at the top, one of the rights we are fighting to retain right now, is the right to have our gender expression respected without forced outing to a parent or guardian; Once again, the fight in Canada has become centered around the right to privacy.

Slightly tangential to the topic at hand, but I would be remiss in talking about moments in recent history when the law did not prosecute us, but it failed to protect us. In the 2010s, a serial killer was targeting men who he thought he could get away with making disappear; and he was right. The police ignored calls from the community to treat the case as a serial killer for years. Bruce McArthur killed 8 men who had gone missing from Toronto's Gay Village between 2010 and 2017, several who were vulnerable because they were distant from their families (because they were gay and closeted), homeless, and/or in immigration limbo (waiting for status), so it took longer for them to be reported missing. During this time, through to just weeks before the arrest, the Toronto Police insisted in public statements that there was no serial killer.

Black and Indigenous queer people have regularly died as a result of the police being called while they were in crisis. An unnamed trans woman (who was midgendered by the SIU after her death); Regis Korchinksy-Paquet, both in 2020. In 2022, Dani Cooper, queer activist who advocated against police-run wellness checks, was shot and killed by police during a wellness check called for them.

As a positive step, in 2016, Black Lives Matter Toronto staged a protest as part of the annual Pride Parade, making a list of demands, but the one that got the most coverage was the demand to ban police at Pride. This was taken up by the Pride Toronto committee, and since 2017 police have been banned from having an official float or presence at the parade. This has been taken up by several Canadian cities including Vancouver and Hamilton and inspired action in other cities globally.

With that context, in which queer people are rightfully distrustful of police, it is alarming that police-reported hate crimes against LGBTQ+ people (one of the only ways we have of tracking hate crime consistently) had a record-breaking increase in 2023.

In 2017, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau (the son of PM Trudeau quoted above) gave a public apology to LGBTQ+ Canadians. Here's just a brief excerpt:

"To the kids who are listening at home and who fear rejection because of their sexual orientation or their gender identity and expression; And to those who are nervous and scared, but also excited at what their future might hold; We are all worthy of love, and deserving of respect. And whether you discover your truth at 6 or 16 or 60, who you are is valid. To members of the LGBTQ2 communities, young and old, here in Canada and around the world: You are loved. And we support you."

The important part about this apology was twofold; one, it explicitly named many of the specific instances of oppression I mentioned above, and two, it listed the things the government was doing to make reparations. This included the repeal of the law that equalized the age of consent (which went through two years later, as mentioned above), the pardoning of people who had a criminal record due to unjust laws based on LGBTQ+ discrimination, settlement of a class action lawsuit for victims of The Purge, and a commitment to work towards better resources for mental health and housing for LGBTQ+ people, as well as a committment to continue working to remove the barriers for gay men to donate blood (which went through in 2022). One of the other important achievements was the change to allow an "X" option under gender on Canadian Passports (so the three available options are M/F/X) in 2019 [some provincial gender opt-out options have existed since 2017].

The current government is by no stretch perfect, but it has been good to see some of these moments of our history acknowledged and corrected for. As the global pressure towards fascism continues, it's critical that we remember these changes are the result of hard work, not inevitable "progress", that these fights are ongoing and require our energy, and that change, using a variety of tactics, is possible.

Quick hit facts if you prefer a list to a narrative:

In Canada, it was illegal for men to hold hands with men or women to hold hands with women in public until the 1960s;

The government tried to expunge us from public service in the 60s and 70s;

it was illegal for men to have threesomes until the 1990s;

bathhouse raids were made possible due to legislative inequalities through the 2000s;

Canada took three years longer than the US to approve treatments for HIV/AIDS, four years longer to approve PrEP, and still today access can be complicated/expensive;

it was possible to be of legal age to have sex but not anal sex until 2019;

Gay men were barred from donating blood until 2022;

Canada remains one of the few countries in the world where you can be prosecuted for not disclosing your HIV status (though does not apply if you retain a minimal viral load);

In 2023 some provincial governments tried to make kids choose between gender expression and their privacy (and potentially safety) from their parents; as of March 2024 that fight is still actively being fought.

The take-aways I hope people get from this post:

This history is more recent than we pretend, and is ongoing

Framing gay rights as right to privacy vs right to being not prosecuted for being in public is nuanced and intertwined

Transphobes need to fuck off

Some references/further reading/watching:

Brief history of LGBTQ+ laws in Canada at the Canadian Encyclopedia

The Fruit Machine documentary made by TVO

Article on HIV/AIDS in Canada policy written by one of the policymakers

Timeline of HIV/AIDS Developments (only goes to 2010 so does not include PreP, which was approved in Canada in 2016, four years after its availability in the US)

Article on The Pleasure Palace raid by one of the organizers

Article on the Bathhouse Raids 40 years after Operation Soap

Article on Bruce McArthur's crimes and the review of how police handled the case by former judge Gloria Epstein

Regis Korchinksy-Paquet and the unnamed trans woman dead after interactions with police

Dani Cooper's death

Article about the Supreme Court case brought by Little Sisters bookshop

HIV Non-Disclosure Law Fact Sheet

Article about the end of the blood ban for men who have sex with men

Black Lives Matter Toronto on their 2016 action at Toronto Pride

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau's apology

Gender "X" Options on Passports

Stream Better Than Chocolate (you may need to look up where it's available in your region)

Little Sisters Book & Art Emporium

Glad Day Bookshop (Makes a claim for being the oldest queer bookshop in the world; one of the few queer public spaces being maintained/actively protected as more and more of our spaces are eroded, and also just a personal fave so I'm taking the excuse to shout it out too)

[poorrichardjr]

Fun things overheard in Delusia

I just finished a week at our local county fair where my wife and I were a vendor. This is the time of the year where we actually do make some money. However, there is a giant downside to going to all these county fairs and events. Politicians and political parties are everywhere manning booths and saying some of the most insane crap you have ever heard in your life.

These are just some of the examples overheard at this week's event by the counties republican party leaders, who happened to have the booths next to ours.

"Women shouldn't be president because it goes against God."

"We can't elect Kamala Harris because we will be at war the first time she has her period." These are the same people who think women's eggs dry up and become useless at thirty? Have they never heard of menopause?

"Democrats are 'demons'; 'vermin'; 'murdering babies'; 'importing illegals to vote in our elections, steal your job, and ruin the country'; "Against God'; 'Evil'; trying to turn your children gay/trans' - etc. etc. etc. you get the picture.

"All the founding fathers were devout Christians who wanted a theocratic form of government, because they all went to seminary school." I really, really wanted to go over and argue about this one, but I held my tongue.

"Benjamin Franklin was a devout fundamentalist who despised other religious groups." Never mind that he was well known to have donated and visited every type of church around, even the Jewish synagogue of Philadelphia(?) I believe. Some presidential historian might have to verify that one for me.

"If Trump loses we need to take our country back and start murdering us some democrats."

repeatedly - "God, Guns, and pro-life" in that damn order because of a shirt they were selling.

I could go on and on, but why? More than once my wife looked over at me and gave me this look like, "can I just go over and do something about this?" Being a former marine her idea of taking care of this may not be totally acceptable under the circumstances. Unlike past years where I would take the time to try and call them out on their BS or at least try and reason with them to see sense, I avoided it this year. We were surrounded by numerous fundamentalist Christian booths and Trump merchandise sellers, and more than a few of them were armed the whole time or showing off their great little stun baton at every opportunity.

I wish Americans would stop making their political party their entire personality.

[callofdudes]

Idea that popped into my head earlier

Since the past weekend in 🇦🇺 was Mardi Gras (call it pride weekend) I thought what if gaz and an aroace y/n go to a pride parade 😭😭😭

I am going to keep the orientation part blank so it's as inclusive as possible for all the pride celebrating people. Also, I am not Australian, nor have I had the privilege of attending a parade so I apologize, that is why this is a little shorter. I did my best. @itsscromp

Going to Pride with Gaz

It has been some time now since you came out to Kyle. It was kind of a big deal considering he was one of the few around base you had any courage to come out to. Kyle had received it well, thankfully. You hadn't been worried he would have freaked out on you as much as any of the others. You were coming to them, in time... You just had to get over the anxiety first.

And now it's pride. You were getting ready for your day when there was a knock on the door.

"Come in." You said as you finished buttoning your shirt. Kyle opened the door and slid inside. "Hey, just making sure you're up." He teased.

"I'm coming, I'm coming." You paused. "You seem cheery."

He winked. "Why wouldn't I? It's pride afterall."

You twitched a little smile and chuckled. "You don't have to Kyle..."

He was quiet for a moment, and then smiled. "Come on, get ready. There's a parade happening today, if you're interested."

"You don't have to do that for me..."

You fixed your shirt and headed out of the room with him, Kyle walking next to you, hands in his pockets. "It'll be fun." He nudged you gently. "And I'll go with you, as a bonus."

You considered it. You'd never been to pride before, but the thought of being around others who could relate to you and express themselves in the way you always wished you could, maybe meet some people, get out there a little more... You nodded. "Ok. Ok I'll go."

"Good." Kyle patted your shoulder and strayed toward his room. "Meet you in the parking lot, we'll get food on the way."

"Now?? All right. All right!" You smiled, this was really happening. And quickly you rushed off to finish getting ready and then meet Kyle in the parking lot.

You fixed yourself up a little and then rushed to the parking lot, finding Kyle already out there, putting a box in the backseat. He gave you one of his pearly white smiles and hopped in the driver's seat.

"All right. We'll catch food and be on our way." He said as he pulled out of the lot and headed off. He had let Price know on passing that you two would be out for a little bit.

The windows down, enjoying the warmth that drifted through the car. You relaxed back into the seat and played some music over the radio for the two of you.

Got food on the road and headed to where the parade was supposed to happen. Of course, when you arrived many people were already there. Cars parked along the road, others had walked. Friends gathered in groups along the side of the blocked-off road, talking to each other and decorated in their prideful colors.

Lesbian flags, bisexual, gay, trans, non-binary. Some held flags to ally with the LGBTQ and others held more than one flag.

You looked around at everything, seeing all the stuff going on. Kyle looked over at you. "You ready?"

You looked over at him, hesitation in your eyes. But he offered you a reassuring smile and reached back to grab the box from the backseat. "I have... just the thing." He pulled it up into his lap and flipped down the mirror in the car.

You watched him as he opened the box and pulled out some colored skin markers. He swiped them across his cheek and handed you the colors you needed.

You looked at them, and then the colors on his cheek. And your smile brightened. He wasn't here to watch you, he was here with you.

You put on your colors and Kyle pulled out the flags from the box. You took yours and stepped out of the car into the warm sun. You looked around at all the people. You moved closer to Kyle and took his hand. He squeezed your hand in his and took the step of walking into the parade with you.

You stuck near him, watching all the people, all the flags, all the groups.

Kyle wrapped his flag around his shoulders, fading easily into the crowd with you. Listening to everything around you, a group of people waving the same flag as you with pride. You didn't have to do anything else but just exist.

You smiled at Kyle, seeing his gaze wander over to a group of guys laughing and raising their flags high. You gently nudged him, and he looked back at you.

"Meet you up ahead at that pole??"

Kyle chuckled and nodded. "Deal."

You wandered away from him over to the group you'd spotted, and he did the same. They smiled at you and welcomed you over to the little circle. Talking a little and marching with them for a while.

You didn't need to know each other, you didn't need to be friends, you could unite and march over the one thing you did know to make you the same.

Kyle found the same, eagerly accepted into the little group of guys, laughing and talking excitedly as they kept decent pace with others in the crowd. But there was no rush.

Eventually you and Kyle met up again where you'd planned, spotting each other in the crowd and wandering back. "Hey." You smiled wide.

"Hey, having fun?"

"I am." You chuckled and reached out to wipe some blue paint off his cheek. "Seems you are too."

He blushed a little. "They were friendly."

You linked your hand in his again and raised your flag as high as you could get it. The march continued on and you two followed the crowd all the way around as they went. Listening to the music and indulging even more.

You paused at a small inlet and got some water to hydrate along the way. You were applying some more sunscreen and someone sat next to you, smiling softly and engaging with you. Across from you Kyle meeting up with the same group he'd run into earlier, laughing and fitting right in.

Kyle was normally a pretty reserved person, but he was the life of that little group. You snickered a little, finishing your conversation and then going back. "Ok you, come here."

"Aw, but I was getting comfortable."

You snorted and waved to the guys before dragging him away. "Y'know, this is a much more creative way to come out than how I did..."

"I guess I just didn't want to make the moment seem... Less impactful? I know that was a big step for you, and I didn't want it to seem like I was only chill about it because I can relate... If.. that makes sense? I second guessed myself..."

"Yeah, I guess I can see that." You squeezed his hand. Kyle squeezed yours back. "Hey y/n, I'm Queer."

"Oh, I hadn't noticed." You teased him, nudging his shoulder.

"Ouch, and I thought I was being obvious."

"Nah, you're all good."

"Well so are you." He nudged you back, your smiles matching energy.

"Happy Pride, Gaz."

"Happy Pride, Y/n."

Eventually you two got home. It was late when you'd both found the car and drove back home. Price was sitting in his chair, reading as he waited for you two to get back. He knew you'd get back safe, but an emotionally adoptive father can only worry.

You and Kyle got through the door and shuffled toward the light. Price looked up when he saw you two. "Ah, there you are."

"Hey Price." You yawned and moved over to him. Price stood and wrapped his arm around your shoulder, pulling you close gently. You didn't fight it, leaning into his embrace, Kyle following, coaxed into the other arm.

Price held you both and patted your backs. "Looks like you two had a fun day."

"There was so much to do... Lots of walking too." You mumbled, a small smile on your lips. "Oh, well it looks like you survived the walking part." He patted your shoulder.

"You two should get some sleep."

"Yeah, that's a good idea."

You two left the embrace and walked down the hallway to Kyle's room. You turned to him before he went to his room. "Thank you for taking me Gaz, I had a lot of fun. And I might be a little sunburnt." You joke.

Kyle nodded and patted your shoulder. "Thank you for coming out to me, and trusting me."

"I always do."

He looked down and smiled a little. "Ok, you go to sleep, ok?"

"Yeah yeah, goodnight, Gaz."

"Goodnight, Y/n."

You went to your room and wiped the markers off your face. You had kept the flag that Kyle had given you, and you draped it over your desk for now, enjoying the sight of the colors.

You smiled softly and flopped into bed, exhaustion slowly setting in. It had been a good day, you'd gotten to hangout with Kyle, and you'd gotten to experience pride.

And of course, you'd made some friends too. So overall, 10/10 experience, will definitely be going again.

And with that... You fell asleep.

[bigbroadvice]

Hey, uh...

Hi....!

I... Wanted to talk to you about something because I don't have anyone else I can talk to about it (this is going to be a very long rant, ignore this if you like)

I... think I'm trans. Specifically transmasc. Or nonbinary. Or agender. I don't know what the heck I am XD. But... I'm Christian (specifically LDS). It goes against everything I believe. Or at least what I think I believe. I've done research. There seems to be a lot of discourse, but the majority seem to say it's okay, although I wouldn't be able to do certain things that I love if I started socially or medically transitioning. (You can ignore this part if you want, especially if you aren't comfortable with giving religious advice)

I have supportive friends and most likely family. I know at least some of my friends would accept me because a few of them are also trans or visibly supportive of it. I know at least one certain group of friends would support and encourage me if I decided to come out. And my parents once said something that very clearly said that they'd support me regardless of who I am (which makes me wonder now, later, if they knew before I knew.) They're just a little awkward about lgbtq+ stuff, and I know they'd get my name and pronouns wrong a lot and consistently struggle with it. But I think know they'd still support and love me.

On the other hand, there are quite a lot of reasons not to come out. I'm still really young. I'm only thirteen. I've heard a lot about how young trans people might face criticism, specifically things like "you might regret it later!" Or "you're too young to know this!". And the thing is: they're right. I'm still not sure exactly who I am. At first I thought I was agender, because I felt like I didn't really care about gender or what pronouns people used for me. But then I started to think I was nonbinary. And I thought about what it'd be like to be referred to as they/them, and it felt really good. And all the while, in the back of my mind, a quiet voice said "you could be a boy?"

Quick Sidetrack: I only found out I was gay because... I watched a whole bunch of lgbtq tiktok comps (I know, kinda stupid but hear me out). I watched so many that I began to question if I was still an outsider to that group of people. Eventually, after a lot of internal screaming, I realized that I was pan and ace, and came out. My parents didn't find out the way I wanted them to, having read through my texts, but after a very uncomfortable Talk it ended up pretty okay. But I only realized because I watched so many tiktoks. And I still wonder to this day if I was only faking it until I made it. I never had gay thoughts or feelings until I learned it existed, and I still wonder to this day if I still would've ever realized if I hadn't learned about it. The same thing happened with my depression: I only realized it and started having symptoms after I learned it existed. When I was younger, I'd had multiple times where I'd lied about something bad happening to me because I wanted attention. So I worry that might've been the case, and I pretended I had depression until I actually had it because I wanted people to make it known that they care. And I wonder if that's what happened with being gay: I worry I faked it until I made it real because I just instinctively wanted to be part of a community. Later I realized I didn't know anything about my orientation and started identifying as queer. But the same thing could apply to being trans: I might have just faked it until I made(??) It, because I want to be unique and part of a community.

So anyway: I'm questioning being trans for a number of reasons. I don't want to transition medically, because that just doesn't feel like a need for me (at least right now. I am still only a kid after all.) It's more socially transitioning that I want. But if I don't want to medically transition, doesn't that mean I can't be a boy? Doesn't that mean I kinda have to be either nonbinary or agender? I guess that's most of the reason I'm questioning which one I am.

I can't be a boy. I CAN'T be a BOY.

But.... one day I started playing around with my hair. Even before I'd started questioning Things, I've had an idea of what my hair could look like that I really really want and think would make me happy but I'm too scared to ask my parents to do it. And so I was playing around with it.... And decided to try parting it on the side. The way those stereotypically emo people (not saying that's bad just based on society's views and the media) have one side of their hair basically shaved and the other long. Just to see what I would look like.

But... I looked in the mirror, and at how my hair looked short, and looking the way I'd always wanted to look, and just how MUCH it changed how I saw both my physical features and my personality... It felt... right. A thought came before I could shut it down and said "that's me. There I am. I... I actually like that person!"

But.. I'm scared of how people other than that one group of friends will react. Especially this one group of people that are my favorite people ever, that make me feel like myself and I look up to them a lot (and they're all older). What if they, and/or my parents, listen to me come out, and then say "oh. Oh no, [name]. Please no. I don't want this for you, that isn't you".

I'm scared. I'm scared that they'll say something other than what they'll probably say.

Every day, I pull my hair back and part it on the side, and see a real, ME smile break out over my face. And then I pull it back to normal, and yell at my reflection that I'm not a boy I'm a girl I'm a girl I'M A GIRL I'M A GIRL because maybe if I lie to myself say that enough I'll be able to make it true.

And another thing: everywhere isn't... Ideal, to put it mildly, for trans people. But I live in the U.S, and there's currently a lot of political discourse about whether or not they....we deserve rights. I'm worried that if Trump gets elected, or laws get passed, that I'll bring harm not only on myself but on the people I love.

But... the daydream of saying "I go by he/him (he/they????)", and wearing boy's clothes, and looking the way I always wanted to, especially with my hair, and getting top surgery (maybe) when I'm older and being able to feel my chest, and going by the name Ace (get it cuz cuz I'm asexual? Ace? I didn't realize that until after I chose it lol and I find it funny) and just... feeling free to really, truly be me... I really, really want that. So much that it hurts.

But I'm scared. I'm scared I'll make that choice, and then realize it was the wrong one. I'm scared that I'm too young to know.

I want to come out. But... it might be better to wait until I'm at least sixteen, and things would hopefully calm down a little bit politically at least, and I'm better mentally equipped to make that kind of decision. It also might give my parents time to get more comfortable with lgbtq+ stuff.

But 3 years is a long time to wait.

I guess the question is: do you have a good way to stay in the closet? To resist the urge to tell people and be patient?

Aaaaaanyway, thank you for reading my very very long rant and hope you're having a great day/night!

Hey friend, lean in close,… no, closer

There is no such thing as fake queer people

If living a certain way makes you happy, then live that way! If a certain word helps you describe that lifestyle and/or the way you feel, use it! And that doesn’t have to be the same word forever. You’re allowed to try on labels and identities and lifestyles to see which ones fit best. Its ok to try something on for a while and then decide it’s not for you and you’d like to try something else. That’s how you figure out who you are!

That’s why the whole “but they’re too young to know” thing is so silly. This is when you’re supposed to be figuring stuff out! Kids try on all sorts of different things: hobbies and interrests, friendgroups, styles, personalities, worldviews. That’s a good thing! It’s called exploring! That’s how you figure out who you want to be when you grow up. If you figured out you liked science, did some googling into different science careers, and decided you wanted to become a neurosurgeon, most people would be overjoyed and do whatever they could to support you in that pursuit, even if later down the line you found something else in the science field you were more interrested in, or maybe something outside of science entirely!

It’s the same thing for gender and sexuality. Try on different kinds of clothes to see what you like wearing. Try on different sets of pronouns to see what you like hearing. Try on labels to see which ones you vibe with. Try out new hairstyles. It’s just hair. It’ll grow back. Try on names to see which one feels like you.

And its ok to be open about the fact that you’re trying things out and might not be sure about everything yet! You can just tell people, “I think I might be transmasc (or nonbinary, or agender). I’m going by Ace and He/Him (or He/They) pronouns for now.” And yeah, some people are probably gonna be assholes about it, but those people are gonna be assholes no matter what you tell them. Let their words slide off you like water off a duck. People who care about you and want to support you will go through that journey with you.

As far as the ‘not knowing you’re gay till you’ve seen a bunch of gay stuff’ goes, that’s also completely normal. I’m pretty confident most neurosergeons didn’t know they wanted to be neurosergeons until they heard about other neurosergeons. Some people ‘always knew’ something was different about them even before they had the words for it, and some people only started seeing that thing in themselves after they’d seen it in others. Both of those are awesome and neither is any less true! That’s the fun part of learning about the human experience. You get to understand other people better, but also, you frequently stumble upon things that give you a deeper understanding of yourself.

All that being said, it’s a good idea to test the waters when it comes to parents. Coming out does not need to be an all or nothing kind of deal. You can tell the people you know with complete confidence will support you first and ask them to keep it to themselves for now. (This is a good way to test out names and pronouns by the way. A smaller group means less hassle of having to let people know you’d like to try something else) Once you feel ready (and perhaps have made some plans with your friends for some emotional support if things don’t go as well as they could have) you can bring up the topic with your parents. If you’re not sure how they’d react to you coming out directly, it might be a good idea to talk about a trans friend of yours and see what they have to say on the topic. If that goes well, pitch a hypothetical “what would happen if I came out to you.” If their response makes you nervous, you can always backpeddle and say you were just curious what their views on the subject were. If things go well, then go for it!

Anyways, as someone whose ditched a religion I no longer believed in and gone through multiple names, labels, and pronouns to find what makes me happy today, I wish you the best of luck my friend. It’s an adventure. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. You’ve got to be willing to fail if you ever want to succeed at anything.