#i need him to be my bf like now.
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Note
anna my love my light im begging for more of ur scrumptious jamie headcanons 🤲🏼
kait my angel!!! i am happy to oblige <3
when you and jamie start dating he immediately starts asking you for opinions on literally every outfit he wears, whether it’s casual or a suit for an event, he asks you what looks better. because he admires you, your style and everything else, and he values your approval so much so he’ll face time you while getting ready, setting up his phone and posing for you like a dork, asking you if he’s got the right shoes on, if he should wear a jacket or not. then, with the suits, he’s always trying to get out of wearing them, (“yes, jamie, you should wear the button up under the jacket” “but i’d look so cool without it, love”). you compromise on him ditching his tie and leaving a couple of buttons undone. it gets to the point that, whenever you sleep over (which is often), he’ll just get you to pick his outfits for him. you’d say something like “surely the great jamie tartt doesn’t need my fashion advice” and he’d be like “yes he fucking does, babe.” <3333
#hope u like it my love!!!#i need him to be my bf like now.#jamie tartt#jamie tartt x reader#jamie tartt headcanons#jamie tartt x you#jamie tartt thoughts#ted lasso#anna’s asks#bffs
129 notes
·
View notes
Text
my sister texted me smthing going on at home thats making me sad but im trying not to think about it and stay whimsical. its fursona friday..... its fursona feidayyyy...
#not unexpected just like. transphobia. u know the deal#her bf came to visit and my family wont call me my name which is what he knows me by#so now she has to like explain to him that im trans....#she was trying to be respectful and let me do it if i felt the need to#but basically texted me distraught like 'im so sorry i dont know why they cant just be respectful to you its not fair'#i love my sisters i wish that none of us had to go through this anymore#her bfs chill too like he knew me as 'allies gay older brother' (#(close enough) so i dont think this will b an issue for him Or them ots just like. Man.
430 notes
·
View notes
Text
It's way funnier to me to imagine that Geralt is the one who desperately wants Dandelion to winter at Kaer Morhen with him but Dandelion keeps saying no on the simple grounds that it's too fucking cold and do you want me to die Geralt? Do you want me to get hypothermia and fucking die?
And Geralt's like "please I am begging on my knees I will cuddle you every night to keep you warm I just need to prove you actually exist"
#the witcher books#dandelion#geralt of rivia#gerlion#you know those romcom plots that are like 'I told my fam I have a bf and now they want to meet him so pls pretend to date me'?#this is like that except the reverse#geralt tells his fam he has a bestie who's a bard that cuddles with him at night and they all just#don't believe him bc it sounds so ridiculous#'it's okay to say you're just lonely geralt you don't need to Invent A Guy to convince us you're not'#'I DIDN'T INVENT A GUY HE'S REAL I PROMISE STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE I'M A PATHETIC WET DOG'
982 notes
·
View notes
Text
#a doodley#okkk 2022: the torture chamber....i only sparsely drew al and developed talon (he was borned...) bc my mind was occupied with other things.#2023: exiting torture chamber; it took me a tiny little bit to get back to drawing and ''interacting with'' al again but i did it even#though it was a reminder of the Bad bc he's my copium#summer 2023: i view and witness media and suddenly have like 5 fictional men i cant decide on which to focus... and september (talon month)#comes along so I decide to focus on Talon after not touching him much at all throughout the entire year#(forced this btw i did not wanna do it LOL i didnt even remember how to draw him)#september 2023 to now: talon has infiltrated the brain. but i want to swivel back to al#now: i've forgotten how to Talk to al (just like i did in beginning of 2023)#(and just like i forgot how to talk to talon for most of 2023)#so ive kind of just been replaying the smunker cow al daydreams from when they first met#so I can find my way back...retracing my steps#in doing so ive kind of also forgotten how to interact with talon but still havent gotten back to al#so rn my life is so boring without imaginary bf interactions. just the before sleep plot rehashing daydreams...#or sparse visions of em Sometimes#nobody in my brain rn just like the short period last yr and its distressing#what do i draw without a love obsession.....#how do i pass time without it....! so boring. idk what to do#i miss the me of several yrs ago when i was drawing 50 different aus with al....ive downgraded in skill and imagination and creativity#so bad since then. idk. idk. i hope they come back to me soon#maybe i shld just draw al a lot which is how i kickstarted caring abt talon again almost a yr ago ?#hoping i can get him to come back before my surgery i need my big sexy boy nurse for recovery#(complaining abt things usually fixes em for me so im hoping thats the case here)
91 notes
·
View notes
Text
i know this is a jervis account but i just watched the long halloween movie and
he is my babygirl
and he's such a passenger princess
#ALSO THE WAY HE WAS INSTANTLY TOSSED LIKE A RAGDOLL WHENEVER SQUARING UP WITH BRUCE#then JERVIS knocks him out#LIKE. BOY U NEEDED TO BE SAVED BY THE 4 FOOT MAN???#HE IS SO UNBELIEVABLY USELESS IN A FIGHT ITS SO HOT#men who whimper and cry and scream when dosed with fear toxin#“poor little thing; such a tiny little thing” my sentiments exactly jerbo#i am now a salecrow truther alright yall converted me#the hattercrow content was good too#hes tetchs wife like the way he just lets him quote alice in wonderland verbatim as if its a normal conversation#v supportive of his autistic bfs hyperfixation#jonathan crane#hattercrow#brillrambles
187 notes
·
View notes
Text
That rhyme was SHIT!
#me art#digital art#original content#friday night funkin#fnf#boyfriend#fnf boyfriend#fnf bf#fanart#3/3 on the weird Boyfriends woohoo! I'm giving him a tag now in case people decide to blog dive for this mfer#Game Over Boyfriend#Formal apologies to my dearest mutuals randomly getting attacked by me vibe-doodling FNF when they signed up for like costumes n shit#I've just been doing a lot of soft-shading for AF so I need a good muse to practice bold post-processed art
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
can ppl in this fandom like... stop... implying that transmasculinity in hcs or (especially) canon is shallow or misogynistic or even transmisogynistic on princible, like literally just by being prescent in someones mind or in the text. like that doesnt fuckin feel good. thats kind of really nasty to imply. if its not okay to say about other trans experiences, maybe dont say it about this one either. why is there a weird little exception here. yall KNOW how much that sucks to hear all day every day. what the fuck
#my t#idk how to tell the hs fandom that every piece of trans coding in roxy in hs1 can be read as transmasc too. like transfem and transmasc#at the same time from the EXACT same reasons. its almost like we all share experiences just by way of being trans. weird i know#its almost like being trans rlly truly highlights what it is to be human and how we are all in fact at the end of the day human together#i just want everyone to stop trying to 'poke holes' in other fans trans hcs FULL STOP across the board no matter who they are#or what the hc is. its needlessly hurtful and more often than not trips into real peoples dysphoria which then#makes the target more likely to lash out. so the person poking them abt it can do a ''SEE? THEYRE ALL MEAN ONE OF THEM#WAS MEAN TO ME JUST NOW'' routine. its so obviously a 'im not touching u!!!' playground maneuver like holy fuck grow up#if you wanna fight for transfem/me folks right to just exist random fans personal headcanons is not the fuckin time or place#the XY in roxys name could be read as her having been DMAB or it could be hussie having a long running giggle about him preordering#his own transmasculinity. roxys colour being pink could be bc shes a girl or it could be compcis!!!#roxys desperation for a bf is from loneliness in canon but its often read as her feeling like she needs one to be a real girl#it can ALSO be read as another aspect of him struggling with compcis and comphet esp w/ his fantasies abt being 'a mother'#yknow what i never fuckin see that rlly highlights the fact that this is just a shitty 'girls rule boys drool' thing? theres like. no#discussions on the potential of roxy being any kinda intersex. absolutely none. he could be mtftm for all you fuckin know#but oh yknow being mtftm is A Shallow Read so we cant have that. hs is only for girls didnt you know we need to terf- i mean turf#out every single instance of queer mascness bc its Evil in the text didnt you know#god help the fandoms word of god token trans boy dirk strider for 'choosing' his eternal misery while everyone else is enlightened#by way of transforming into a girl. bc we must place girlhood on an inhuman pedistal of perfection and niceness and joy and rainbows#like what IS this mahou shojo brand gender essentialism???? im fuckin sick of it#can we remember that girlhood isnt & wasnt safe or joyful for everyone & that that can translate into how we curate our fandom experiences
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
⠀⠀took my Heart 2 The Limit
#⠀⠀🍒⠀⠀koqen⠀⠀/⠀⠀mbs⠀⠀#REYES 🥹#literally cried he’s the guy ever#he’s just a silly guy.. i fear you’re going to put him through The horrors… 😢#no but fr i love him 😭😭🫶 my fave wayv member sorry kundery you’re over#he’s js so cutie i want to put him a snowglobe ans shake him around and then eat him its serious for me to be honest#im the literal number one royoshi everyone else needs to MOVE! NOW!#i’d write reyes fanfic ngl.. reyes bf texts 🔜 🤗#HELPP is he the type to read fanfic abt himself 😭#ANYWAYY i hope u like oomfie 😊🫶 thanku sm for asking ily!!!!!!! 💝#the song reminded me of him and plus its just a banger likee!#taeyoung#kim taeyoung#messy moodboard#random moodboard#kpop moodboard#kpop bg moodboard#cravity moodboard#taeyoung moodboard
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
tag vent
#i have to move back to my hometown due to a mistake. a misunderstanding. and being too trusting in others ideas#and my boyfriend is moving an hour away as well. neither of us have been able to get a car or license yet due to money and i dont know when#we can see eachother again after we both move. since we started dating weve been sleeping in the same bed because we were/are roommates#just being gone for the weekend in my hometown is hard because i cant stand to be here but its worse because hes not in my bed every night#ive grown so used to falling alseep in his arms that i dont know what to do at night. i dont feel safe without his arms holding me#ive never felt safe where ive lived before. ive never felt safe in a relationship. ive never felt loved for who i am. that was until him.#now i feel safe in our home. i feel safe in our relationship. i feel loved for who i am. and now we have to be so far apart.#ive done long distance before but this is going to hurt so much my cat loves him she is super cautious and scared around new people but#she loved him since the start. not to mention shes my esa so that really mattered to me. he wants to move with me but it isnt happening#he got definite housing an hour away for super cheap in a town where he knows everyone and i have possible in a town where im surrounded by#people i know but am terrified of. im scared to move back here but have no choice. unless i make that terrifying choice of going with him.#the apartment he is getting is a two bedroom. id only have a studio. hes offered for me to come but im scared to move that far away again#i want to be with him but im scared to move to a whole new town with him. i know hes an amazing guy but we'd be moving away from my friends#and family. i already have to move away from all my friends if i go back to my hometown but this would be a different story.#moving to a whole new town with a guy that i only started dating 2 months ago? like yes. i lived with him previously and knew him for longer#than we dated but im still scared. i think rightfully so. but still.#but there are some pros to moving with him. hometown has no music scene and his town does and thats really important to me.#we'd also be close to his family. but farther from mine. hed be around friends and id have none no matter where i go.#idk im just rambling but i really needed to vent. i lost my best friend recently to the point of them siding with strangers almost and they#helped them break and enter into the house to intimidate me and bf and then a few days later came with cops after saying repeatedly that#they were an anarchist and acab but only when they dont use them apparently. because i guess morals/values only matter when its convenient#im so tired though but i cant sleep so i might write some cringe poetry and try to chill out before going on a late night/early morning walk#tag vent#vent in tags
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
great morning indeed.
:)
#woke up to my hole getting french kisses and then pop goes the d***#honesty having a partner who is passionate art your body is unmatched#im quite literally a c********** for him#like please call me Eclair the way he be.....ya know#the rain hitting the window only added to the ambiance of the great morning f*ck#love him so much#now I just need my other bf to slide in the mix too
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
My little sister is having me come with her to a Halloween party on town on Saturday. She is dressing up as strawberry shortcake and wants me to be a character from that show too. I have no clue who to be 😩 none if them really match me
#atm im thinking lemon meringue or angel cake#mostly bc i have some clothes already that may work#but eugh#i don't even really want to go but i already promised her#and now im like ah i got to gaurd my baby sister at this party#even tho her bf will be there#frankly i need to gaurd her from him 😒#so she can have fun
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
For the record I am actually seriously 👀 about possible Luxon things happening and I do think there's something going on there, even if I have no idea what nor how involved it is.
#legit my DMs went SO rapidly to 'ok where the FUCK is essek tho someone call that bastard for some dunamis expertise'#like previously it was just 'well hope he's far away from ludinus and maybe we can call him after' to 'GET HIS ASS HERE RIGHT NOW'#THE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING#anyway caleb if you do not call your bf the moment you get that collar off I swear to god#cr spoilers#critical role#luxon blogging
133 notes
·
View notes
Text
have an idea for a drawing i just need to figure out the composition and. time and energy to do it
#al is involved in this one. smile. all 3 of em are#so i need to figure out how to format the second shot....hmmmmm#0253c#Also rambling but trying to shift my brain back to talon al interactions is backfiring a bit in the sense of like#Idk. Im sketching this drawing out and feeling kind of gross. Like why is skunker there 😭#But then again before nyalon was made and i started focusing on skunker i was also kind of grossed out by him#Focusing on him made me think of him as hot for like 2 seconds now its leaving me#Like. He's me. He's sexless and unappealing 💀 especially compared to The Actual Guys#Idk. But yeah thats another hurdle in the way of completing this#Ill imagine talon and al as my 2 bfs all day but as soon as i have to draw em#+ actually think about how cringy it is to draw twoooo whole hot men enjoying stuff with me/my sona ....#So embarrassing. Feels gross 😞 humiliating#Once again in that ''ewwwww he wants sex lmao'' shame pit
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#i literally this close to ruining a friendship with confessing my feelings for my friend 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣#i mean it's kind of a well known secret that i have feelings for her :)))))#tonight i drank some wine and we had a convo about how im waiting for her and if she'd asked me out i would be to shy to say anything at all#and all that shit. the usual back and forth halfhearted flirting we've been doing for years#but it's fuckin killing me right now because a few months ago i realized i actually do have feelings for her :DDDD#and like. she knows it i just never said it outright. but she fuckin knows. everyone fuckin knows who knows us that there's something lmfao#and im literally this close to just telling her it all#and im pretty fuckin sure that would ruin everything because she's been together with her boyfriend around the same time we met :)))#and even if she has feelings for me then what bro? she'd never drop him and I don't think our friendship could go on if i confess :)))#even though it super obvious:)))))#i dont even know what im taking about anymore im just fuckin sad and heartbroken bro#I've only had deeper feelings twice and both were for my best friends who are in relationships#but oh my god this time it feels so much fucking worse#i ghosted her last a week because i just couldn't deal with constantly feeling like shit and being jealous every time she mentions ger bf#AND IT FEELS LIKE ABSOLUTE SHIT TO NOT BE HAPPY FOR HER??? SHE'S MY BEST FRIEND I SHOULD BE HAPPY FOR HER HAPPINESS#BUT I CAN'T BE A 100% HAPPY AND IT MAKES ME FEEL SO FUCKING GUILTY AND BAD#i just need like a car or sth to take me out bro i can't do this 🥲🥲🥲#I just want these feelings to go away oh my god how many months will it be#i really feel like I can't keep this to myself anymore. and that would just ruin everything#oh my god just kill me#ÁGNES IF YOU SEE THIS FUCKING POST THEN NO YOU DON'T#not like I don't cry to you about this every 3 days#anyway im sorry. next year i will get to the requests in my inbox aye? :'DD#shut up vivien no one cares
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
It’s so weird how the body will try and protect you like. I am incapable of feeling grief right now. I know it will hit me like a fucking Mac truck in about a month
When I was here in Ireland in July thinking my grandma had days to live, because the doctors told us so, and urged everyone stateside to drop what they were doing and come to Ireland for goodbyes, I was torn up. I was the first one here because I was already in Dublin on business and luckily my job just let me work from Ireland for about 2 months. So that happened. But then she got palliative chemo, and somehow here she is, 5 months later, against the odds in stage 4 lung cancer. I can tell she is so tired. I feel like she was holding on for this holiday and that as soon as I leave Ireland come December 29, it’s going to happen quickly. Which I hate to even write into existence, but sometimes, you just feel it.
And I hope it doesn’t. But I also don’t want her to be in pain. Chemo ravages the body. Her last treatment was over a month ago but the cancer has spread through her whole body and it is wearing her down. She went from still bartending at 77 and going out with her friends weekly + walking the 2 mile trek into town everyday, to finding out she a tumor overtaking her right lung (completely collapsed at this point) from years of smoking. I was sitting with her at the table the other night before I went to the pub, painting her nails, and she asked “can we talk about something morbid”
Things hardly feel morbid these days. So I tell her yes, of course. I feel like I have this desensitized view around death now. Or I’m numb to it. Like my body remembers watching my dad die and is like HEY ITS FINE, don’t be sad in the moment. Because you can’t be. You have things to do. Then you can cave in on yourself.
Anyways, when I told her sure we can, she then got embarasssd and I had to beg a little for her to tell me . She then says “right. Because I know you’ll have the energy to handle”. She just tells me how she wants to be presented for her wake. No makeup, but make sure her eyebrows are done. Hair with a bandana. Jean shirt. Nails painted. Cowboy boots on that she never got to wear in Vegas this year. She starts telling me about where jewelry is and what she wants in a service. I listen and file it away.
I still think I’m stuck on “because you’ll have the energy to handle”. I think about when my dad died, my mom and sister were inconsolable. About how it happened so quickly and we as humans make it very complicated. Do you know how hard it is to transfer a body across state lines? The hospital doesn’t tell you what to do. I had to google so many funeral homes that morning. I think about those people too. The sanitized nature of conversations. The first place I called didnt say any niceties. They immediately went to prices so I hung up. Second place was more of the same and the third place asked me how I was doing and if I wanted to share anything about him. So I went with them. My dad didn’t leave a will so I had to pull the trigger on weather to cremate or bury. I went with the former and was sick for months thinking I made the wrong choice but one day a few months ago my mom found a random letter he wrote, tossed behind his living room chair, where he noted cremation was a better option bc of the $ and finally that guilt left me.
Did you know that when you list you’re an organ donor on your license, they have to call the family? And when they call, there is light elevator music playing in the background, and mere hours after your person dies, a woman with a nasally voice will calmly ask, “May we take his skin and eyes?” I felt like I was in a cronenberg movie. I remember being so shocked at the matter of factness of the question. Being disturbed but thankful neither my mom or sister were doing this part. I remember saying “why would you want that, do you know how he died? How are those parts even usable” and she paused . And “hmm’d” and as she began to speak I said “no we won’t be donating”.
Anyways. I’m trying to be present while I’m here in Ireland for the holidays. I want to cry but I can’t. This is the last time Christmas will feel like Christmas. I’ve never much liked the holiday. But after my dad died I’ve hated thanksgiving and Christmas even more. Being with my grandma here in Ireland makes it feel like that “magic” is still there a little. But I know it will be completely gone by this time next year and I hate that.
I also worry bout my mom and how she’s taking it. She lost her dad in 2023, her husband in 2024 and now her mom’s dying. That’s how it goes I guess. I stayed in tonight but she went out to the pubs with her friends and came home absolutely trashed. She made it up the stairs before I heard her start violently vomiting. It’s always strange when you switch places with your folks. I took off her clothes and got her changed into Pjs. Brought her water and crackers. She laid with her head in my lap as I stared at the wall. Being around this kind of stuff always makes me wonder if I’ll regret not having kids. Like the fact that when I’m her age, and my grandmas age, I’ll effectively be alone. Like yes there are friends etc but I won’t have children or grand children. Just makes me feel weird.
Anyways now it’s 6 in the morning and I’m going on a run in the 22 degree morning air. Bye bye.
#grief#journal#life#I feel stuck in my head bc I don’t talk to my new bf about this#like he knows the gist#but every time he learns a new piece of trauma about me he is shocked#and sometimes I lol in my head like wow you haven’t even scratched the surface#he knows about my OD and my dad#but he doesn’t know about .. so many other things#I wish he was more obsessed with me or visa versa#I’m still trying to figure this shit out#he is a horrible texter#we’re supposed to FaceTime while I’m here but I’m going to let him initiate#isnt it crazy how we seek out partners to just fill this childhood void#I do so much work in therapy to fill this hole in myself#yet still at the end of the day I want a man to be obsessed with me so I can feel whole lmao#even tho I KNOW now that won’t fix me#I still want it#he’s the first man I’ve dated that isn’t obsessed with me and he’s weird#not that those relationships were ever healthy#but he likes me in a very normal way#and all I can think is#sir I have men in my DMs asking if they can pay me to#clean my house in lingerie#I need you to text me back or tell me you think I’m hot#I can count on one hand the number of times he has complimented my#physical appearance#and that drives me insane#why am#I even ranting this part here lmao
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
🧸
#also....#i want a d*d bf bc...#i mean ig it isnt that odd or unique or special lol#but i have this incessant need to be praised bc ig i just have been overlooked and ignored and neglected always#like now im doing my assignment even if i dont wanna... and when i finish it i want praises :(((((#and i'd be more than happy to praise him and reward him as well 💞💞💞💞#but yeah probably it's just bc i have an unmet need#of being acknowledged and havemy efforts being seen and confirmed#but it doesnt help me knowing that#bc i just feel so sad and the part of my brain that is an immature child feels so restless and angry and lonely#even if its unrealistic i need and want a reliable and consistent source of praise and acknowledge#..ment...#i just fel unfullfilled and restless and anxious without it#i also think that not only me but plenty others too#use their blogs in that way. its a human need to search for attention and acknowledgement. intelligent ppl get that.#and esp for ppl w bpd cptsd and other disorders.... its not weird#but yeah having a blog and maybe even receiving some attention from mutuals or others#helpt to allievate that need just a little. and esp when u cant be acknowledged anywhere else in your life#if u cant get your needs met it is actually not weird that u try finding any way it can be soothed a little#anyway idk how i got here.... i was crying bc i am working on my assignmwnt and i hatw it#and i wish i had a d*d bf to receive encouragement from and then when im done get praised and feel a rush of warmth#(and also i would want to do the same for him it isnt only abt me me me.#oh i always feel so selfish for ever wanting anything lol.. even in my daydreams T-T)
6 notes
·
View notes