fukin-gone-blog - Tumblr blog

[fukin-gone-blog]

confliction eats at my flesh like vultures until i’m nothing left but bones constructed of false promises and uncontrollable hatred

[fukin-gone-blog]

will i be trapped like this forever? hiding behind false accomplishments and selfish actions? rotating between pushing away those close to me and clinging them too close for comfort? will i have self control? will i collapse? will i achieve anything or will i wither away into eventual self inflicted demise?

[fukin-gone-blog]

what will become of you?

ambitions, dreams, motivation?

rather a rotting bundle of stardust stuck together with dew drops milked from the shadows of experiences

love, light, laughter

when? why? how long will it last?

[fukin-gone-blog]

float. don’t think, just float. enjoy the weightlessness while it lasts.

[fukin-gone-blog]

do not let good days fool you

a few mindless nights spent doing menial, numbing things mean nothing.

loneliness always creeps it’s cold fingers back up around your legs

and digs it’s nails into your flesh when no one is looking

[fukin-gone-blog]

i hear my heart beat in my ears

little parts of my soul flow through my body and out of my fingertips

with each limb it passes i grow warmer

warmer

warmer.

you’re getting warmer.

this much closer to finding the pieces of me i seem to have lost along the way

like coins out of the holes i’ve ripped in my pockets;

i try desperately to search for a needle and thread.

currency in the economy of emotions

depression for only a penny

i thought happiness was supposed to be free.

quarters upon quarters stacked up in my socks

weighing my steps down like a prisoner

vile, filthy criminal. theft of youth. vandalism of hearts. murder of morality.

my heart pumps passion

my brain cuts holes for it to leave.

[fukin-gone-blog]

as the sun inches lower, my heart grows heavier.

in the dead of night i feel the universe swirling, slow but steady, all around me.

the stars coax me out into nothingness

while the ground slides it’s cold fingers and tugs on my ankles.

[fukin-gone-blog]

the void of loneliness creeps it’s cold fingers under my skin and drives its nails into my skull. blood oozes out of my eyes and i feel the hot wet drips on my palms. my heart weighs down and rests heavily on my stomach. i look into the mirror and i see nothing.

[fukin-gone-blog]

STOP IT STOP IT YOU KNOW YOURE NOT WORTH IT STOP IT

[fukin-gone-blog]

i silently watch every grain of hope slide through my fingers like sand

[fukin-gone-blog]

i hate you i hate you i hate you

[fukin-gone-blog]

death's fingers caress my skin and coax me to join him

[fukin-gone-blog]

FUCK THINKING FUCK CARING FUCK BREATHING

[fukin-gone-blog]

please just let me die in peace

[fukin-gone-blog]

scraping by

[fukin-gone-blog]

death is reaching up to take me and every day i feel more and more fingers on my body

[fukin-gone-blog]

tired of pretending