#i need an Andrew Minyard in my life please

[siriusblackisdead]

Andrew Minyard bought Neil clothes. Just take a minute to appreciate that. He went to the fucking store, chose a fucking outfit and then fucking bought it for the fucking suspicious guy he didnt understand and had kind of an obsession with (his fucking boyfriend). Thats it. Thats the post.

[morally-gray101]

you're so right !!! prison guard andrew breaking out prisoner neil and they run away together fic now !!!

i feel like we as a fandom do not take advantage of the fact that andrew did a criminal justice major and told everyone it was for the meme. i genuinely believe he was going to go out there and change the world and make it better, even if it was just a little bit. i mean can you imagine? CRIMINAL LAWYER andrew minyard. OFFICER minyard. DETECTIVE minyard. SHERIFF minyard! BODYGUARD andrew minyard!!! the possibilities!!

[exyrpf]

Exyblr Dashboard Simulator based on what I personally see on sportsblr:

1/?

👑 girlbossriko follow

how many bro jobs do you think it took before riko moriyama and kevin day realized that uh.....maybe this wasn't just a bro thing

👢exyinaphonebooth follow

how many times do they have to come out and say they're like brothers before you freakos stop shipping them

👑 girlbossriko follow

????? do i know u

#it's a tumblr post about two exy players that you'lll never meet in your life it really isn't that deep

558 notes

💃fox-me-up follow

ngl that newest fox is kinda 👀

#psu lb #exy lb

8 notes

👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 talk-exy-to-me

The NARRATIVE that kevin day and neil josten have........son of exy! scouting the rookie-est of rookies from fuck knows arizona........no listen you dont GET IT winning is EVERYTHING TO KEVIN and he would risk it on the foxes? And NEIL? who has only played exy for a year! NEIL Gets his attention!!!!! And hes good and he's getting better every game and he keeps bitching about kevin's ex on live tv BUT WAIT!???? NOT QUITE WHAT YOU EXPECT! Bc then neil shows up with a number on his cheek BECAUSE WELL it turns out they've known each other since they were KIDS! how is everyone not insane w me THEY'RE LITERALLY PERFECT

#where r my fellow njkd truthers #how r u all not here with me this isnt even the start #kevneil #210 #psu #njkd

102 notes

☀️ usctrojanny

every smiley blonde striker (jeremy knox) needs a brunette wet cat emotional support backliner (jean moreau)

#jerejean #usc trojans #i'm just saying 🤷‍♀️

58 notes

👸🏻 kevindazed follow

did he just......

👸🏻 kevindazed follow

guys please tell me i'm not insane

👸🏻 kevindazed follow

HE'S NEVER BEEN????? SKIIING???? KEVIN WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ?????? KEVIN PLEASE

#i i'm going insane i will literally die if someone doesn't explain this to me HE'S NEVER BEEN SKIING?!!!!

407 notes

🧚 goalie-stan

oh....i'm feeling so weak......it'd sure be nice to have a big strong goalie (renee walker) hold me up (renee if you're free on tuesday i am also free on tuesday.........on tuesday this tuesday, any tuesday?)

#literally passing out just thinking about her holding me don't call don't text i'm busy

84 notes

🌄 softkevinday follow

do u think if u offered kevin day essential oils to heal his hand he'd beat you to death

#it'd be hard for him bc he only has one hand but he could probably do it #legally this is a joke don't do this

284 notes

🗣️ jeremyknoxes follow

feeling normal

215 notes

📜 realexyblog

actually exy rpf is fine, i asked kayleigh day herself and she told me it was fine

112 notes

🐋 sexyexy

'exy is a stupid name for a sport' have you considered that a) i don't care and b) it's named that solely so i can make sex jokes about it

11 notes

🏳️‍🌈 gay4stickball follow

is he, ya know *mimes jerking off* an ncaa exy player

#i don't believe that straight exy players exist

56 notes

🙈 ittybittyminny follow

Andrew Minyard!!!!!!! 🥰🥰 short king!!!!🤏🤏😋😋 Awwwwwwww the scrunkly!!!!! 🤗🤗🤗 My boinky boy!!!!!🥺🥺 Crinkly doo,,,,shronkle scrimblo......🥺🥺🥺 rb if you'd scrunkle!!!!!!! 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

📖 sapphic-exy follow

he literally killed someone

🙈 ittybittyminny follow

And? God forbid women do anything

#also no proof he did that #yeah there's proof his twin bro killed someone but that's not the same bc theyre different people #almost killing someone doesnt count

807 notes

🐦‍⬛ edgarallenexy

got told i'm problematic for liking the ravens? THAT'S LITERALLY MY SCHOOL OH MY GOD

2 notes

🌸 softexy

Kevin Day - A Study

#kevin day #psu foxes #palmetto foxes #exy #web weave #poetry #psu foxes #palmetto #edgar allen

378 notes

[jtl-fics]

Fluent Freshman - Part 18

PREVIOUS

Weirdly enough the only thing that FF can think of as they head down the stairs is the first Saw movie.

That one happened IN a bathroom right? He kind of watched all of them in a row to prepare himself for whatever Andrew might decide to do to him. But he’s near positive that one happened in a bathroom. It was derelict and he didn’t think it really had running water (or did it? Didn’t the guy wake up in a half-full tub? His memory is hazy in his bathroom related desperation and may be trying to protect him from thinking about water).

All leading to the main thought going through his head as he slowly headed down the narrow stairway to his death.

Would Andrew let him use the facilities before he’s handcuffed to a pipe?

The worst part about all of this is that he is not sure if he needs to take a dump or if he just needs to fart, he knows he has to take a piss. He’s read that when you die your body will relax and it’ll all just flow out of you and Nicky gave him these pants so he feels bad but he also does not want to face his death without pants. If he needs to take a shit then they’re definitely going to be absolutely ruined, if it’s a fart well…Andrew can’t kill him any further? He can mutilate his corpse a little but FF won’t be around to experience it.

No matter what he’s definitely going to piss himself. He had way too much water at Sweeties trying to consume the spicy ice cream.

You may be wondering why FF has not run away from his predicament and is walking down these steps without protest or comment or plea for his life.

First of all he is pretty sure that if he makes any sudden movements he will ruin these pants that Nicky bought for him. Second of all Andrew had already told him once that he wouldn’t accept any pleading for mercy he still remembers how he asked Andrew, “Please give me back my pen?” and Andrew had shot him a look that had his stomach cramp and his fingers itch for the bottle sweet pink relief in his backpack.

“I don’t like that word, don’t use it around me.” He said.

FF ever the pragmatic sort, “Which one?” He had asked because he had said a few, “I don’t want there to be a misunderstanding.” He followed up with when Andrew glowered at him only for the glare’s intensity to increase 10 fold.

“Don’t use the first word of your first statement or the last word of your second.” Andrew grit out and got up to leave without a word.

Message received loud and clear Andrew did NOT like words ‘Please’ or ‘Misunderstanding’.

So FF knows that any pleading for mercy would ABSOLUTELY result in Andrew not letting him take a bathroom break before him and Captain Neil make destroying him into a couple activity. The fact that Captain Neil is here is a bit of a shock but maybe Captain Neil has finally gotten the other Freshman Dealer up to snuff.

Maybe Kevin really did want to dissect him to figure out how Strikers keep passing straight to him?

They reach the door at the bottom of the stairs.

Ah, time to face the music.

At least he’d texted Gran that he was going to die when they had gotten into the club and the bathroom had not made itself readily apparent. Sure it was about his current ‘gotta piss / gotta shit’ situation but he’d been wise to keep his cause of death vague in that text.

The door opens and…

This is the NICEST torture chamber FF has EVER seen. (And after his desperation watch of all the Saw movies he has seen quite a FEW)

“Minyard, Josten, and Guest. Table 6 is yours.” A voice comes from the side and when he looks over there’s a man in quite a nice uniform standing behind a soft-lit bar polishing a glass looking every bit like a bar tender at those high-end places you see in movies. He looks around a bit more and there are some other people down here. It’s not quiet per se but it is a comfortable level of noise in comparison to the IQ dropping noise upstairs.

“C’mon Smith.” Andrew juts his chin towards a table in the back.

FF follows but continues to try and fit this nice little room into his world view.

Do these people watch other people get tortured to death for fun on a Friday night? Unlikely considering the upholstery on the booths and chairs looked like it’d stain if blood got on it. Was this perhaps a trafficking location where Andrew would sell off his organs to the highest bidder? He looked at the other patrons who seemed a bit higher class than the general club scene upstairs but not like they had the money to buy one of his kidneys. Maybe-

“Do not tell Nicky about this place, ever.” Andrew says as they slide into the booth. FF nods but can’t help but tilt his head slightly in an unspoken question, “He would absolutely tell any and everyone about it. Eden’s wants to keep this place a secret from the general public.” Andrew explains.

“Nicky currently thinks that there’s a straight swingers club down here.” Captain Neil says with a huff of laughter.

“Eden’s is cool, even though there’s some sick shit in the basement.” Floats through his head again.

What the fuck was a swinger?

His fingers itch for his phone but he’s currently talking with Andrew and Captain Neil so that’d be rude but they’re talking to him like he absolutely knows what a swinger is and he DOES NOT.

“It’s quieter down here. Figured you’d prefer it.” Andrew says as he gets up and heads towards the bar down here where the bartender was aggressively cutting ice chunks.

He and Captain Neil sit in silence for a few seconds before Captain Neil offers him a slight smile, “I know you’d rather be with your grandma and you and Andrew prefer not to say things out loud but we’ve really liked hanging out with you.” Captain Neil says.

????????????????????????????????????????????????

That’s such a nice thing to say to someone.

Especially someone like FF.

Especially especially when they’re planning on killing him?

He hopes his confusion stays off his face as he nods once. “It’s been fun.” It’s not even really a lie. Thanksgiving yesterday had been nice and loud and FF had missed the chaos of a Family Dinner more than he had ever realized. The car ride had been…a time but once he’d asked Andrew to either keep his eyes on the road or let him out Andrew’s hands had stayed at 10 and 2 and the ride had been smooth. Aaron and Nicky’s weight against him had been nice too, a warm memory before he developed a possible life long aversion to whipped cream. He’d gotten to go Black Friday shopping and Captain Neil even helped carry it home for him. Baking bad been nice even if the stress of doing it with his life on the line was less so. The subsequent nap and day spent doing normal college guy things had been…it’d all been nice.

It’s starting to feel like….

“Drink this.” Andrew puts a drink down in front of him.

No Andrew definitely wants his bladder to burst.

“What is it?” He asks instead looking at the creamy looking drink with suspicion.

Andrew rolls his eyes as he hands Neil a fruity looking drink as he sits with what is a few fingers of scotch. “It’s virgin.” Andrew says not answering the question at all and must pick up that FF won’t be drinking it until he gets the full answer because he continues after a moment, “It’s like a Pina Colada but with bananas instead.” Andrew answers.

It’s not that FF hates banana but why in the world would Andrew grab him this? Was it just one of the few virgins options on this place’s fancy menu or-

“Bananas will help get your stomach acid back down.” Andrew says, “Since you’re an idiot and ate that mango ice cream just because you wanted to impress that girl.” He rolls his eyes.

“Impress that girl?” There weren’t any girls at the table and how in the world would him eating that god-forsaken spicy ice cream impress anyone other than Betsy. Even Betsy would only be impressed by the depths he was willing to reach just to avoid what he perceives as an awkward social situation.

“The waitress.” Neil reminds him as if that cleared anything up.

“Yeah,” he says as if he has understood the conversation but he has not. “It was spicy mango.” He says because maybe if he keeps the conversation going he’ll get enough context clues to understand what might be his last conversation.

Andrew let out a huff of laughter and pushed FF’s drink closer to him, “Drink your fancy Banana smoothie Casanova.” He says.

No closer to understanding the conversation he accepts that it might be something that only becomes clear after he sheds his mortal coil and is no longer given a -10 INT debuff by his full bladder and revolting stomach.

He takes a sip.

Oh that’s actually pretty good.

It feels like he can feel it sizzling in his stomach and soothing the discomfort there. Maybe he should look into Banana smoothies as a replacement for what Abby has called a ‘concerning co-dependence’ in regards to Pepto Bismol. No one can put him on a medical watch if it’s just banana smoothies he’s chugging down like they’re going out of style.

“Thanks,” he says, “that was good.” He admits before reaching into his jacket and moving past the Megamind toy and grabbing his wallet. “What do I owe you for that?” He asks.

“We’re even.” Andrew waves away the money.

“You bought the stuff for breakfast, those brownies, and the pie tomorrow.” Neil says and FF blinks surprised to hear that they were talking about the pie he didn’t think he was going to get the chance to make.

“You don’t need to buy a spot with us.” Andrew says and FF leans back slightly at the intensity on Andrew’s face as he says it. “I invited you here because I wanted to. The brownies were good but if you don’t feel like making the pie tomorrow? It’s not like I’m going to drive you back to Palmetto and leave you on Abby’s doorstep.” He says.

FF feels gears start to turn in his head.

“It’s good pie.” He hears himself say.

“I didn’t even know about the pie when I invited you.” Andrew says and…

Andrew and FF sit in silence but honestly it’s not like Andrew’s sharpening his knives. The two of them mostly just do their own work or read. FF has been getting his German literacy up to snuff so that he can read the language when he goes there to visit Nicky’s fiance next year. He likes how serious Andrew is about learning it so that he doesn’t have to ask Captain Neil a thousand questions and it’d be nice if Andrew wasn’t obviously planning on murdering him.

Andrew brings dried apples and sends Captain Neil along with probiotic yogurts to their meetings. Both of those things tend to soothe his stomach and the yogurt that had been unflavored before was now vanilla which he liked a fair bit. It would have been a really nice gesture if it wasn’t for the fact that Andrew was making fun of his tummy troubles.

Andrew will put his foot down in practice sometimes when Kevin is getting too demanding wanting to know exactly how FF intercepted his passes to Neil. Kevin always backs off and Andrew will do the same when Jack starts to get a little too personal in his attacks at FF or when Sheena decides she’s going to be a bitch. It’d be nice if it wasn’t Andrew staking his claim that he was the one who was going to make FF’s life miserable.

Andrew drove FF around for an hour after Greg had shown up. He found out later from one of his friends that Andrew had threatened Greg after he had power walked away into the building. Andrew had driven him around and had only started heading towards the tower when FF had relaxed. It would have been nice if Andrew wasn’t trying to lure him into a false sense of security.

Andrew had invited him to his Family’s house over Thanksgiving when the bad storm had ruined his Thanksgiving plans. Andrew had threatened Jack to stop him from eating his Grandma’s pie and complaining about it. Andrew had stopped messing around with Captain Neil when FF had made it clear he was uncomfortable being in a car where the driver wasn’t paying attention to the road. Andrew had twice made him go to bed in the last couple hours.

It’d be nice if…

“We’ve really liked hanging out with you” Captain Neil had said.

Andrew was just trying to be nice.

Embarrassment rolls over him like a wave but FF has many years of pretending like he’s not going to die from embarrassment, “Thanks for inviting me. I’ll still probably make the pie tomorrow.” He offers.

Andrew’s eyes change slightly and FF is under the impression that he’s happy to hear that.

“Just enjoy your drink Smith.” Andrew says.

FF does go back to sipping his drink and letting more and more memories of things Andrew had done come to him and lets his embarrassment grow.

He finishes his drink and only then realizes that he is a code red in terms of bladder capacity. The new knowledge that this is not a torture chamber but in fact yet another overture of friendship from Andrew paired with his desperation finally loosens the question from his mouth, “Where’s the bathroom here?” He asks.

“There isn’t one downstairs but just head up stairs and hug the wall to the left.” Captain Neil answers.

“Bring your phone. If Frank doesn’t recognize you to let you back in.” Andrew reminds him.

FF nods and heads out of the club and up the stairs.

He might be doing a bit of a potty dance so he forces himself to become unnoticeable because he does not need cool people at a cool club to see him about to piss himself. Once he enters into a stealth mode that the United States Military would like to talk to him about he hugs the wall and nearly cries tears of relief when he sees a door labelled MEN.

He doesn’t think about the possibility of letting up on stealth mode because he is sure that he is about to make a face that he does NOT want any human being to see when he unzips his pants and starts to take the world’s most life-affirming piss on the planet.

As his bladder empties his brain is able to process the understanding that he had come to down in the basement he had thought would be his final resting place.

Andrew has been trying to be nice (and succeeding it was all so nice! He feels like an asshole! He is an asshole! Gran always told him that assuming makes an Ass out of U and Me. He had just thought it was funny grandma humor not valuable life advice!)

The night wasn’t going to end with Andrew’s knife in his stomach, it was probably just going to end with Nicky puking on his shoes (which is fine because these are the shoes Nicky was letting him borrow for the club anyways, they’re his shoes to puke onto.)

A secondary relief fills his system. His stomach, soothed by the Banana smoothie and now this, feels like it might actually let him live through the night.

While FF was distracted with a piss that would have made any number of cult leaders jealous with the number of divine revelations he was experiencing he failed to notice a second man enter the bathroom.

There was a reason that FF always ALWAYS became noticeable when he was at a urinal and the man who came to the urinal right next to him was showcasing that VERY reason.

He was trapped here for at least ten more seconds and he could hear the man grumbling distractedly but didn’t really pay it too much attention until…

“Fucking Wesninski Brat.” He grumbled under his breath.

Oh god dammit.

NEXT

MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU

Per your requests:

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[orange-foxes]

Amnesia

💭 loving you is muscle memory by Talls (3,5k)

Neil has temporary amnesia, and Andrew is disconcertingly attractive. This is especially disconcerting because Neil was pretty sure he didn't swing. Nicky is endlessly pleased by the entire situation.

💭 Secondhand Lovers by alex_wh0 (22k)

“Mr. Minyard,” said the doctor, “Can you tell me who this is?” Andrew looked at Neil, his gaze clinical, “I don’t know.” Memory is a funny thing, Neil thought, even as he felt himself unravel uncontrollably as he looked into the eyes of the man he loved and saw only distrust.

💭 Back to the Start by fuzzballsheltiepants (29k)

Andrew has been on his pro team for 6 months when he takes a ball to the head. Neil flies to Boston to see him - only to find that Andrew doesn't remember him.

💭 Pause and Restart My Heart by knoxham (series)

Andrew Minyard often got 2am cravings for ice cream. He would often get up and drive to the store to pick some up if they were out. Neil Josten would often go with him on these night time outings. It was not often that they would be hit by a drunk driver. After a bad car accident that lands Neil in the hospital, Andrew deals with the aftermath and the fact that Neil might not wake up.

💭and in a flash, it's gone. by Idnis (series)

‘I wouldn’t associate with Andrew anymore, nor with any of the others. You can’t trust foxes after all.’ The man’s fist connected precisely where his head wound was, and then Neil Josten was gone. Neil loses his memory and has to somehow make sense of the pieces of his past and present. And Andrew.

💭 Muscle Memory by elesary (20k)

Andrew wakes in the hospital, years after the last thing he remembers, with nothing but a handful of out of date promises and a wrecked car. He is purposeless, adrift, unable to find solid ground. Except in the blue, blue eyes of the scarred stranger at his bed side.

💭 you're not next before forever by Andy_Day02 (29k)

Andrew could practically feel Neil’s smile from across the court yet that wasn’t what he was thinking about. Exy was considered a violent sport not just because of how people played during the game. Andrew was moving before anything happened and yelled at Neil to turn the fuck around from where he was talking with his sub. Or even run for fuck’s sake. If there was ever a time Andrew had wanted Neil to run, that would be it. - Neil gets badly hurt during an exy game. Andrew gets arrested. Almost everything goes to hell.

💭 Help me remember by ok555 (47k)

Neil woke up with a pounding headache and from the feel of it, probably a couple broken ribs. The memories of the previous night were fuzzy at best. He remembered paying some random guy at the club to knock him out which would explain the headache, but he couldn’t come up with an explanation for the ache around his chest. or Neil has amnesia and forgets everything that happened after his first night at Columbia.

💭Inked Petals by KweenDay (15k)

Andrew spent 3 years in a shithole small town in Florida trying to get through the loss of the only person who made him feel something. Then Aaron convinces him to move to New York to start living his life again. It all goes well until Andrew makes a tinder account and matches with his dead boyfriend.

💭 i only need the working of my hands by allyasavedtheday (21k)

Andrew gets injured during an Exy game and loses almost two years' worth of memories. It leaves him with a nasty pain in the head and far too many questions. Namely, who the fuck is Neil Josten?

[limetimo]

What's your top fic recs for AFTG with a kid?

Happy you asked, I was going to go through my ao3 history and drop all Neil wiith a kid fics I've read so far under that post :D

But first, I'm not kidding when I say that this fandom desperately needs a unified tagging system for Neil and children. May I propose:

Parent Neil Josten - Neil is a grown up adult with a mortgage and everything. This tag is already packed with soft Andreil and their adopted children, which is great (but not what we're looking for here!)

Teenage parent Neil Josten feels like a tag that should exist (and I could swear on my life that I've seen it used but tag search came up with nothing). This would be reserved for Neil becoming a biological parent to a child while on the run (or 13-17/18 in AUs)

Neil Josten Has A Kid would encompass any fic where Neil took responsibility for a child of any age and origin before he developed a good support system.

Now, for the recs! In no particular order,

A Child’s Heart by AllAngstNoComfort cis!Neil with a 18 months old son Oscar, following canon. WIP

Hope Was A Dangerous, Disquieting Thing by BisexualChaosDemon definitely a must read. Trans!Neil has a daughter Anastasia, who is 3 or 4 and an absolute delight. Andrew is hard on hearing in one ear. Almost complete, and BOY OH BOY you'll scream when you read the post-championship meeting with Ichiro.

Big Brother, I'm Just Like You by hoziertozier a not-fic, posta canon. Turns out that Nathan made a baby with Lola and if Neil doesn't take her she'll end up in the system. Neil obviously won't let that happen and so he becomes a legal guardian to a traumatised 9 year old. WIP

Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying by YourLocalMixedRaceBisexual ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Trans!Neil and his daughter Eden are squatting in Palmetto, where they catch the attention of one medicated goalkeeper. I love them your honour. I like that it's different premise than following canon. WIP

The Reality Of A Bruise by Oli_Stans_Andreil one time when Nathan caught up with Mary, he left her with a little surprise. Neil and his 3yo sister Jo join the Foxes. follows canon. WIP

Drop In, Drop By by Wishopenastar not sure if i marked it for later and forgot to read it or if it just didn't a lasting impression but it looks good, Neil adopted baby Jean and it's kendrail. completed.

We’ll Both Be Fine by Sarah_Lee25 Neil has a son, Milo. Folows canon. WIP

Reckless by rosegold_en professional exy player Andrew had a one night stand with trans runaway Neil. Some 11 months later Neil gives Andrew their child to look after while he keeps running from teh mafia. Staying away is harder than he anticipated.... WIP <3<3<3<3<3

The Sun Still Rises by mordax paranoia ridden Neil is raising his extremely traumatised baby brother Alex. follows canon. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥!!!!! WIP

honorable mentions!

ridiculous by l_mialamia_l in which Andreil do the flour baby project. It's fun it's sweet it's ♥♥♥♥♥

We work well with crazy. by MBlack93 Neil and Harry Potter (currently on the run) adopt each other at Millport

The Minyard curse by 1mNot4Hum4n Aaron and Andrew find out they have a troubled brother from their father's side. Andrew is not going to leave the 16yo kid in the system, and Neil is there every step of the way. And they end up adopting all the kid's new friends, too.

To do for someone what I wish they had done for me by deathzqueen Neil and Andrew are teachers, helping out a student in need brings them together.

sticking with you by neilsdimples Andrew has a clumsy kid, Neil has the superior band-aids, feelings ensue.

If you've read any that aren't on this list, please share links too ♥♥♥

[cringeblogname]

Andrew Minyard Playlist

- Revolution 0 by boygenius - I just wanna know who broke your nose/ figure out where they live so I can kick their teeth in

- Blush by Wolf Alice - Curse the things that made me sad for so long/ it hurts to think that they can still go on

- Cigarette Daydreams by Cage the Elephant - You can drive all night looking for the answers in the pouring rain/ you wanna find peace of mind looking for the answers

- Terrify by Good Boy Daisy - Kill me kill me kill me I just wanna feel alive/ I’m a kamikaze lover, I wanna see you suffer/ never gonna hold me down, I wanna terrify

- Bite the Hand by boygenius - Your hands are gravity while my hands are tied/ I can’t love you how you want me to

- Everything is Boring by The Beaches - Everything is boring, that or just annoying/ I swear I’m just watching life go down

- Not Strong Enough by boygenius - I don’t know why I am the way I am, not strong enough to be your man/ I tried, I can’t stop staring at the ceiling fan

- Don’t Wanna Love U by Joe P - And I must be the madman everybody always says I am/ cause I talk to a sad man no one else can see

- Your Needs, My Needs by Noah Kahan - Subtle change, shorter days/ dead-eyed, dead weight/ your life, your dreams/ your mind, your needs/ and my needs

- I Don’t Feel Alive by Chelsea Cutler - The water goes down hill and still I swim against the current with two arms that cannot fly/ and I don’t feel alive

- Until We Get There by Lucius - What do you say?/ Is this the time for one more try at a happy life?/ So what do you say?/ Is this unwise to think my fears will not reprise?

- Ghost in the Machine by SZA ft. Phoebe Bridgers - I need humanity/ y’all lack humanity, drowning in vanity/ craving humanity

- Punisher by Phoebe Bridgers - A copycat killer with a chemical cut/ either I’m careless or I wanna get caught

- Without You Without Them by boygenius - I’ll give you everything I’ve got, please take what I can give/ I want you to hear my story and be a part of it

[cupofmaddy]

A03 Rec!

Fandom: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic

Title: Gordian Knot

Author: EtoileGarden @etoilegarden

Rating: Explicit

Relationship: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard

Characters: Andrew Minyard, Neil Josten, Kevin Day, Nicky Hemmick, Betsy Dobson

Additional Tags: Working shit out, Conversations, Sex, Andrew is doing his best, his best to be difficult, neil learning curve josten, minor references to past non/con, placing boundaries and trusting they'll be respected, wanting and wanting and wanting, Intrusive Thoughts, conversations around past non-con, andrew is horny and mad about it, Explicit Sexual Content, mentions of gore, talk therapy written by a not a therapist, Bad Dreams

Summary is pretty long so I'll link it here!

My review: ★★★★★ 5/5

Absolutely loved this fic!!! Watching Andrew's progress through the chapters made me so so happy but more than anything I loved seeing more of Neil and Andrew's relationship. I adored their banter and time spent together. I think the author did a beautiful job with Neil's characterization and how well he respects boundaries and also how open he was to Andrew about what he wanted and needed. It was really nice to see Andrew adopt more of that throughout as well, his communication was really wonderful by the end. I think the author also did a great job showcasing Andrew's trauma, intrusive thoughts, and his sessions with Bee. While a lot of this fic is revolving around Andriels sex life, it really felt like so much more than that, it was about how deep their relationship goes and about Andrew discovering himself and learning how to be comfortable setting boundaries and how to feel stable being close with Neil. Overall highly recommend if you enjoy deeper fics about Andriel's relationship and their struggle. Of course please always check tags for content warnings!!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/54735820

[novaauster]

@rwnjun's cowboy andreil fic inspired me so here's a snippet I wrote set somewhere after their chapter 7

When Neil is lucid but barely mobile enough to sit up on his own, Katelyn makes her way into the guest room and sits heavily in the chair beside his bed.

“‘Morning,” Neil says, mildly polite but not quite hiding his curiosity at Katelyn being here alone. Of the adults at the ranch, it may well be that she is the one who knows him least. At least Erik’s path crosses with his at work.

Katelyn smiles at him. It's the tight, pitying smile that tends to be offered to the infirm the same as stitches and gray porridge. “Good morning Neil. I’m sure you’re wondering— I just came by to say that I helped Doctor Abby fix you up.”

“Um,” Neil says. “Thank you, ma’am.”

Katelyn waits for him to come up with a real reply, beyond the niceties he scrounges up for her and the children.

“Why,” he eventually says.

“Because women ain’t scared of the sight of blood,” Katelyn says simply. 

Neil connects the dots: she knows. “Who have you told,” he snaps, abdomen clenching as he tries to surge forward but doesn’t find the strength.

Katelyn shakes her head. “Doctors don’t gossip about their patients. Midwives like me don’t neither. I’d say all who knows is me, you, Andrew, and whoever else we laid in the ground.”

“Andrew?” Neil tries to feign confusion. It doesn’t work too good, judging by the eyebrow he raises. 

“He ain’t usually scared of the sight of blood—that man fears neither devil nor God, as you well know— but I never saw the look on him he wore when he found you. Narrowed us unafraid ones down to the women, like. And besides, I do know how a Minyard acts in love.” She delivers this speech calmly, as if she practiced it beforehand. Her hands rest folded on her skirts. 

“Don’t know if I’d go so far as to say that,” Neil says. In love is a strange way to call a game of questions and a few rounds of barn sex, but he’s not sure of much these days. All he knows for certain is that Andrew doesn’t hate him like he hates his real enemies. 

“I would,” Katelyn says simply.

“If it pleases you.” In love is a strange way to call the fact that Andrew barely says a word when he visits Neil, if he visits him at all, but in love seems like a bird in the hand when he touches him.

“You make sure he pulls out in time, now,” Katelyn adds. “We got our hands full with my kids and runaways, no need for more.”

Maybe Neil wouldn’t blush so furiously if it hadn’t been a woman like Katelyn saying such a thing. She never had cause to be so presumptuous before. “I think you misunderstand what you’re speaking to, ma’am,” he manages. “No matter what you saw.”

“Oh I don’t pretend to know who I’m speaking to. That’s Andrew’s mystery to unravel, I’ve heard loud and clear. All I’m saying is if you ever need anything…”

“I don’t.”

“If I can’t say it woman to woman I can say it at least to a friend.” Steel lines her tone. Not the gunmetal of his mother, but some echo still of someone who’s led a hard life in a hard place and knows exactly what she’s earned the right to. 

Not much to be done, though he was not previously aware that they were friends. “You can say it, then.”

“If you need anything,” she repeats. “I’d like you to listen to me: you don’t have to set aside your secrets to live in this house, heaven knows the kinds of stories we all brought here and never told. If you’re Andrew’s then you're family. Even if you aren’t his you might well still be ours, so long as you stay with the herd instead of getting dragged off by bandits a second time.”

“I do not plan on it,” Neil assures her seriously. 

“A good thing too. Nicky likes to think he knows all the gossip to be had, but I think for all the work he put in raising the twins, if he found out about you two he wouldn’t have a damn clue which one of you to point the shotgun at while he planned the wedding. Never did have a good sense for tradition, did he?”

Neil just nods. “If that’s all…”

“You must be tired,” Katelyn agrees, and stands up as slowly as she sat down. “You get your rest.”

“Thank you.” When that doesn’t feel like enough— in love, family, you might well still be ours— he tries again. “You have my gratitude.”

“And you have my welcome.” Katelyn nods, and shuts the door behind her.

[codename-adler]

I LOVE BABY GIRL, GOOD LUCK. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO WRITE IT SOON. WE'RE IN RENISON DROUGHT!!

but per your Kevin suggestions..... u choose! both Start of Time and The Language of Boys sound awesome!

so sorries for the late late response! as an apology, why don't i answer both? (who am i kidding, this is totally a treat for me. i need to yappa yappa yap away to procrastinate finishing my fic for daylight savings...)

Adler's WiPs ~ Project: Start of Time

Literally: Andrew bathing Kevin. a bath AU. that's all.

this was supposed to be my 2nd fic for the Daylight Savings Fic Fest, a self-prompt, but alas my claimed prompt took way more time and brain juices than anticipated, so i had to cancel it for the time being. the idea is very much still alive tho!

i went through frankly impressive mental gymnastics to figure out a credible (to me) way to put these bad boys in that specific situation.

the summary i gave @dayurno (and subsequently forgot):

Andrew gives Kevin a bath. It's like the reverse put-it-in-rice-if-it's-broken. Andrew says 'dunk it in water to make it better' and you know what? it works. All kidding aside, something traumatic happens to Kevin that makes him dissociate, and Andrew takes it upon himself to take care of him while he makes his way back to reality. might turn NSFW, we'll see.

the vibe it brings to the function:

non-sexual intimacy, body worship, non-sexual aftercare

angst, hurt/comfort, PTSD

getting together / non-established relationship (Kandrew)

baptism imagery? rebirth imagery?

a very Carrie moment

a very Vesper Lynd/James Bond in Casino Royale moment

touch-starved Kevin Day

vulnerable Kevin Day

soft Andrew Minyard

soft Kandrew

Andreil/Kandreil left unsaid & up to interpretation; only Kandrew centric

post-canon

Andrew Minyard Saves the Day

starring special guest Jean Moreau

song: Start of Time by Gabrielle Aplin

in more details: because of the way the Championships finale ended, and because Kevin and the Foxes can never get a goddamn break, the victory ceremony is held weeks later, and Riko's funeral is scheduled the day right after. When Kevin and Jean are forced to go, they get attacked by angry Ravens fan after they bury the casket. While Jean manages to get Kevin safely back to the hotel, he cannot get him safely out of his troubled mind. That's Andrew's job. Hopefully some good will come of this.

lord knows how long i've obsessed over the idea of Andrew bathing Kevin. i truly do not know why.

Adler's WiPs ~ Project: The Language of Boys

pairing(s): Kandreil getting together, Kandrew centric, established Andreil

vague summary: While in the Pros, Andrew is injured during a game. Because all three men are on different teams, nobody is there for him when it happens; however, Kevin is closest to where the match is happening, so he is the one designated to keep vigil at Andrew's hospital bedside. Feelings ensue and are revealed, until Neil arrives at last and things are well again, times three.

key scene: Kevin being the one Andrew wakes up to and loving it

featuring: Andrew & Allison 'friendship' - the most important phone calls - body language and the importance of even the smallest gestures - vulnerable Andrew & protective Kevin - lots and lots of staring - there was only one (hospital) bed - worship and reverence

inspo: The Language of Girls by Ramin Djawadi, from the HotD soundtrack

consider these 2 the mirror of each other, i guess! i just really, really need soft and vulnerable Kandrew in my life.

[threewaywithdelusion]

What is with the slew of out of character All For The Game fics?

This is going to be rant-y and full of spoilers, so feel free to skip. Trigger warnings for anything mentioned in the books (if you’re reading this and you’re not in the fandom, mostly SA).

What the hell is going on? I’ve been reading in this fandom for 5 years and while there are still some really excellent fics being published these days, there are also so, so many that are out of character.

The rise of the Kevaaron ship terrifies me. Who is shipping this? Aaron is extremely homophobic and very in love with Katelyn. These are two very important aspects of his character. His homophobia is a major source of conflict between him and Andrew and him and Nicky, and while you can have him learn and grow in a fic (and some people have written that really well!), I think making him gay/bi/whatever takes away from that. Also, he really, really loves Katelyn. Enough to date her in secret for a year while risking Andrew’s wrath. Enough to fight for her. Enough to agree to go to therapy with Andrew. Loving Katelyn is a really important part of Aaron’s character and I feel like people are throwing it away because they want all the main characters to be paired off with each other. What do Kevin and Aaron even have in common?

But that’s not even my main issue. I’ve been scrolling through AFTG fics for the past few days, trying to find one that is both up my alley and that I haven’t already read. And there’s a really strange amount of fics where Andrew and/or Neil are out of character? There are fics where Neil says “please” in front of Andrew. There are fics (not future fics) where they don’t ask “yes or no” before touching each other. There are fics where Andrew has good communication skills and openly comforts Neil. Why is he doing that?! Andrew’s methods for comforting Neil are putting a hand on the back of his neck, telling him to stop freaking out, and saying comforting things like “your parents are dead, you are not fine, and nothing is going to be okay.” (The Raven King). And IT WORKS. Neil finds Andrew’s apathy comforting. Andrew may go to therapy, but he doesn’t talk like it. Please stop writing him like he does.

Also, what’s with all the sex AUs? I understand that people want to write whatever AUs they like in whatever fandom they like. But there’s been an explosion of fics where Neil and Andrew are porn stars/fuckbuddies/Neil’s a prostitute. In this fandom more than any other, that makes no sense. When people write fanfic AUs, they are taking the canon characters and setting them in a new world. And in order to do that, they have to keep certain core characteristics about the characters the same. Neither Neil nor Andrew would ever be the type to have casual sex, and that is an IMMUTABLE CHARACTERISTIC for both of them. (I’m not saying Andrew would never sleep with strangers. I’m saying he would be extremely careful and would never let his walls down with his one night stand). Andrew’s trauma happened early in his life and has completely shaped the person he has become. If you excise it from the story and make him completely free-spirited about sex, you’re writing about a different character. That is not Andrew Minyard.

I’m also convinced some of you don’t understand how asexuality works. Neil is demisexual, which means he needs a deep emotional connection with someone to be attracted to them. This means he would never be attracted to Andrew unless and until he knew and trusted him. He would not have sex with Andrew once upon meeting him and suddenly like sex. It’s not about Andrew just existing as a person! It’s about how Neil feels about Andrew. Sexual attraction and libido are also two completely different things, so a person can feel horny but without wanting to do anything about it or involve another person. (Neil never seems to experience this in canon, but it’s possible he could experience it). There are some really great fics in the fandom that accurately portray Neil’s sexuality! I just wish more people were careful when writing Neil because he’s one of the very few canonically ace characters in media and I don’t think people are necessarily trying to change his sexuality but I think they’re forgetting it’s a valid and important part of his character and writing attraction how they experience it.

Please do your research before writing! I know fanfic is for fun and for free and something people do with their spare time. There’s no rules and you can do whatever you want! If you want to completely ignore this post, that is your prerogative. I’m just getting really frustrated trying to find a fic to read that is not out of character and I needed to vent my frustrations.

If you understand why this is happening (especially with more recent fics) please comment and let me know! Im genuinely curious. And if you have fic recs, please leave them! I’ve read all the big ones, but I’d love recs for less popular but very in-character stories.

[capcavan]

AFTG tfc ch1 Re Read by cavan

(i do not remember any details so its almost like im reading it first time lmao) tumblr does not give me read more cut off option so deal with this i guess sorry #CavanrereadAFTG if you need to block it chapter 1 "She'd beat him to the hell and back if she saw him sitting around and mopping like that" is quite violent way to phrase "she woudl be displeased to see him .." so was neil casually beaten by his mom or we only on page 4 of neil backed up trauma management and im already thinking about scene where this boy will finally brek open and admit how much he wants normal life and not having to hide his emotions and you know live a little without this whole batman personal covering his face already hit by brain made connection about how exy is what took rikos life away from him and how it's the thing that kept neil alive through the worst of his here i am making it about this little cunt already but what else were you expecting of me?

learning new things about English language always nice! neil "its cool my mom died i can finally stay in one place for a bit" how had this boy not murdered this woman himself is beyond me fr ,, please go away" neil wymack already adopted you just haven't got the adoption papers yet I wonder if Janie Smalls is taller than Andrew Minyard "her best friend found her bleeding out" okay but - who is Janie's best friend is it one of foxes? what if it's seth ? Makes sense for it to be seth nvm friend explained to me that potential recruit means she was not at palmetto at the time " Typical of a fox " see riko would make amazing fox that's boy self destructive af in all of my head cannons

broadening my vocab nice nice Notorious for their tiny size i know it's bc there only 9 of them but i will stay believing it is bc everyone is short math time, had not seen kevin in 8 years neil is 18-19 now so he was 10 ok will remember Neil: i need to be very sneaky about my past wymack: do you need a pen? neil: i can't play for you because you signed kevin day wymack: ....... ??????? I LOVE HOW ANDREW WAY TO SAY HI IS FUCKING CRUSHING NEILS LUNGS AGAINST HIS SPINE ????? forgot how radioactive they are bc of how cute they are welp things align riko broke kevins hand andrew beat up neils internal organs for no reason at all! i love when all my ships are fucked up

assailant here is the word i keep using but spelling "assultant" lmao , man im learning so much ,, Andrew was blamed for kevins recent transfer" - kandrew is strong with this one ppl in universe just assumed kevin fell in love on first sight and they ARE RIGHT

i cant tell if im here to study cannon or english but like i know what those words mean but i don't know their definitions does that make sense? OH THIS IS SO CUTE I WILL DRAW THIS FUCK YES LETS GO he slammed motherfucker with his own racket dfghsdjfhgg Hernandez is literary the only normal person over the course of those 3 books andrew *assults someone as hello* wymack: Andrew's a bit raw on manners / my dude with this reading speed it will take me half year to go through those books but im having actually a lot of fun here neil: i already said i can not sign with you wymack:OK BUT YOU STILL NEED TO EXPLAIN WHY KEVIN DAY IS THE ISSUE HERE did kevin heard it lmoa i wonder if kevin heard the ,, do you need a pen - YoU sIgNeD KeViN DaY no wonder kevin was bitch to neil he thought the lil bitch hated him on the start lmao Andrew was only here because Kevin day never went anywhere alone here you go with your raven programming <3 YEARS SINCE THEY'D WATCHED NEIL'S FATHER CUT A SCREAMING MAN INTO HUNDRED BLOODY PIECES Kevin / Dark hair and green eyes, black number 2 neil saw that number and wanted to retch He and his adopted brother Riko Moriyama wrote the numbers one and two on their faces with markers, tracing them over and over anytime they started to fade. ok so were they drawing their own numbers? it sound like kevin was drawing his number too also this is the only mention i think of riko being reffered to as kevin,s brother in the books anyway I have case to make assuming kevin and riko were doing those numbers form young age pre 10 ... it just makes sense the system they use would be Arabic not roman i just can't imagine small kids knowing roman numbers when they were neglected in nest i think this is best case i can make for it. friend provided proof that in book the four tattoo neil get's is introduced as "4" so ok arabic canon moving on Riko nad Kevin were inducted to national court 1 year pre aftg story starts They were champions and neil was a jumble of lies and dead-ends on one hand it's funny how desperate they all are to sign neil on other hand i deeply believe they just see the desperation in his eyes, we know that neil wants it and those contact lenses do not hide it , they know that he wants to say yes, they are just confused about what the fuck makes him say no (kevin's bitchiness) or at least i would make this be the case if neil didn't just got assaulted and if they didn't literary phrased it as ,, we are not living without you signing this" like .. kidnapping with extra steps much ???? playing like he has everything to lose is not excuse for you all to harass this poor man like that OK HOLD ON A SECOND "He'd remember the scrimmage interrupted by that man's murder"

what man what murder the man nathan butchered for them? did nathan murdered someone during game?

WHAT HAPPENED

the moment kevin would start looking at him funny- he already is ngl im only on page 12 and i just hate neils mom i have no phrasing for it but the fact that every choice neil could make for his happiness is meet with ,, mom would be sooo mad" is really frustrating to read about... what is the point of even being alive for this boy fr???? i wonder if theres any specific place they would have been safe it? kind of would be fun to have au where neil and his mom go to japan and end up getting protection form yakuza F BOMB 1 F BOMB 2 COMBO fuck i love those characters so much okay like all of them It's about second chances, Neil. Second, third, fourth, whatever, as long as you get at least one more than what anyone else wanted to give you"

David "idealistic idiot" Wymack wymacks sincerity is what lets foxes trust him , wymack is the first adult in their lives that understands Savge yank of her hands in his hair here we go fuck he has so much guilt over trying to live a little this is so un fair "I'm sorry"he gasped out between wet coughs. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry"

[aftgsucks]

NMFTG Chapter 25

Christmas Miracles

Still in New York for the holidays Neil has several very sane conversations

ao3: chapter below cut

Neil spent the next two days of the vacation sitting on the couch with a blanket over his eyes as everyone ignored his suffering. 

“Why did Riko call you that? Stop pretending to be asleep. I can hear you mumbling, answer me.”

“Okay, I think you were right about the stitches, but please take it easy.” 

“Neil I need you to take me to an Exy court, I can’t live like this Neil, Neil please.” 

“Make a noise so Katelyn knows you’re alive, she won’t hang up until you do.” 

“Buddy, are you sure you’re okay? You keep saying you’re okay and then not moving for long periods of time?” 

“Neil, are you sure you’re not feeling up to broadway, we’re going to broadway!” 

“Why did Jean keep saying you were gonna die?”

Neil sat up, pulled the blanket off his head and squinted at Aaron. Everyone else was out seeing something called Spring Awakening. “Why do you hate Andrew?”

“I don’t hate him,” Aaron sputtered. 

“You don’t talk to him, ever, and he doesn’t talk to you.” It was the core of all their colossal issues, that the two of them wouldn’t just talk to each other. 

“This is besides the point—“

“No, I’ll answer if you answer.” 

“He killed my mom.” Aaron said it with a surprising amount of anger. 

“Wasn’t she abusing you?” 

“Oh my god, did he tell you that? Why would he tell you that?”

“I asked.”

“You asked Andrew about our mother and he answered you?”

“Yes, asking, that thing people do when they talk to each other.”

“Andrew was lying to you, alright, he killed her because she gave him up and he’s a petty bastard.”

“Andrew doesn’t lie.”

“That’s all he does.” Was Aaron insane? Was Neil? Had they both shuddered into some alternate reality where the guy who goes around saying whatever hard truth that enters his mind was somehow a liar? 

“Aaron, I am quite literally a pathological liar. Andrew doesn’t lie.”

“So, your name isn’t Neil? Riko was right?” 

“Oh my god,” Neil flung himself back down on the couch and immediately regretted it. “I can produce very convincing looking documents that all say my name is Neil Josten.” 

“THAT ISN’T AN ANSWER.” 

“Why does this matter?” Neil asked. “Can’t you just let me be Neil? Can’t this just be enough?” Who cared if Neil was lying a little bit about everything or a lot about his identity. Aaron didn’t work for the IRS, what did it matter.

“Why did Jean keep saying you were going to die? You specifically.” 

“Oh we all die someday--”

“Be serious, for fucking once just give me the real answer. You’re worse than Andrew, I swear.” 

Neil sat up again, stood up. Was confronted with his own truly degenerate B.O. He grabbed Aaron’s shoulder and looked into his nervous eyes. “Jean kept saying I was going to die because I am. Don’t worry about it.” 

“Don’t worry about it?” Aaron turned and started pacing the living room. “You can’t just say that and expect me to shrug it off and move on with my life, what is Riko going to do?”

“Riko is going to keep skulking about thinking he knows everything, it doesn’t matter.”  

“You’re my best friend, dipshit, I don’t want you to die!” 

“Best friend?” Neil asked. He sat back down on the couch.

“Oh, don’t sound so surprised, it’s either you or Kevin and you piss me off less.” Aaron’s face went red and he avoided eye contact.

“Huh,”  he’d seriously need to get around to asking someone what constitutes friendship, although Neil can’t be doing too bad if he’s got a best friend, even if said best friend Aaron ‘born to irritate’ Minyard. 

“So, it matters, alright. What’s going to happen to you?” 

“I will mouth off to the wrong person and they will inevitably dismember me. Look, it probably won’t be Riko, he’s not as good as he thinks. I’ve been hoping your brother would put me out of my misery but to be honest I think he finds me amusing.” Such obvious bait. 

“What the fuck is going on with you and my brother?” And yet Aaron is just a brainless fish. 

What was going on with Andrew? Crisis prevention? Aaron had called them ‘weird murder buddies,’ which didn’t feel right exactly, but it wasn’t like Andrew was around to offer his two cents on the matter. 

“I think we’re friends,” Neil admitted, bewildered with the realization. But if the other Foxes were his friends, and it seemed ridiculously that they were, Neil spent just as much if not more time around Andrew. Andrew trusted him, at least with his family, and most to watch his back, to be handed a knife and stand guard. To stand a bit closer then he let most people get. Friends didn’t feel right with anyone but what else was Neil supposed to call it?

“He doesn’t have friends, he has control issues and knives.” 

“You are so weird, you are all so weird,” Neil tilted his head back and looked at the ceiling, it gave him no comfort. “I, the scarred dangerous stranger who almost killed a guy two days ago, can have friends. But your brother, who by all means is just some guy, can’t?” 

“HE KILLED MY MOM.” 

“So? I lit my mom’s dead body on fire and watched it turn to ash, are we no longer best friends?” 

“Why the fuck would you do that?” Aaron’s face went pale. 

“Because if anyone found her body it would be easier to track me down, I bet Andrew didn’t even delicately pull your mother’s still warm bones from the fire and bury them on a beach.” 

“You are lying to me, right? This is part of your whole pathological liar routine?” 

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, you’re the one who wanted me to kill Riko in front of you.” 

“Oh, fuck Riko, at least if someone killed him things would get better.” 

“And things didn’t get better when Andrew killed your mom?” 

“Jesus Christ, why can’t I know any normal people?” 

“You know Katelyn,” Neil shrugged. 

“I am in love with Katelyn, and she thinks I’m a catch, she’s not normal.” 

“What are the terms of your deal with Andrew?” 

Aaron groaned and sat down on the couch. “I stay with him until graduation, stay clean, don’t associate with anyone he doesn’t approve of and in return he gets the satisfaction of ruining my life.” 

“Aaron.” 

“He protects me from women.” 

“You are the dumbest motherfucker in the world.” 

“Okay, now we’re no longer best friends.” 

Neil dragged a hand through his hair, so specifically stupid. The way that Aaron runs around doing exactly what he promised not to, expecting Andrew to what? Give up? Not kill Katelyn? “Hey, hey, dumb fuck,” Neil said, kicking Aaron’s leg until he turned to look at him. “No amount of me being friends with Katelyn is going to stop Andrew from murdering her, you need to sort this out when he gets back.” 

“How the fuck do you expect me to do that? Anytime I have ever tried to talk to him he pulls out a fucking knife!” 

“Oh boohoo, the consequences of your actions.” Neil only had so many friends he couldn’t afford to have them all killing each other while he was still alive. “What do you want? Do you want him to fuck off forever, do you just want him to stay out of your shit, do you even want a brother?” 

“I’ve always wanted a brother, he’s the one who told me to fuck off!” And for good reason, even if Aaron was a little too slow and set in his opinions of Andrew to realize it. 

“Fine then, here’s what you’re going to do. The third day after Andrew get’s back from rehab you go up to him and you ask him to negotiate, be clear, be concise, be willing to barter, and fucking listen when he tells you no.” 

“He’s not going to listen to me.” 

He probably wouldn’t considering how every other interaction with Aaron must have gone for them to get to this point. “You have to prove that you’re willing to listen.” 

“I have to prove,” Aaron scoffed. 

“Yes, jackass, Andrew isn’t like you. He’s like me. Why do you think it’s taken me so long to even entertain the idea that we are friends? You have to meet him where he’s at.” 

“Is that what you did?”

“I guess, look, just.” This was impossible, Neil was setting the team up for mass self-destruction via two stubborn bastards. “The two of you need a fucking mediator and if I try to do it I will lose my patience and kill either the both of you or myself. Call Dobson, ask her to do it.” She had proven herself a miracle worker, even if Neil would rather chew off his right hand then talk to her again. 

“You really are his friend, aren’t you?” Aaron looked vaguely horrified at the idea. Be it that he had something in common with Andrew or that someone actually liked being around his brother, Neil couldn’t tell. 

“I honestly think if I tried to say that to him he would stab me,” now there’s an idea. 

“I’m telling Katelyn you said she’s your friend.” 

“Okay.” 

The others came back after their show and they all helped Randy decorate for Christmas. Soft music with demented lyrics played, all stuff about Santa going on a murder spree or chipmunks biting it. Randy and Matt sang along loudly and the others found it begrudgingly amusing. Neil went where he was directed, the couch, and did the job Randy gave him, opening ornament boxes and handing them out to the others. 

All of the ornaments were old and worn, each one a little snapshot from Randy and Matt’s life. A picture of Matt as a baby in a snowman frame, a little exy racquet, a boxing glove, a fox. Their whole lives in small objects hung on a tree. It was interesting. 

Nicky was begging Randy for more baby photos of Matt when a knock sounded at the door. 

“Nicky, could you stop being a nuisance and get the door?” Matt asked. 

Suspicious, very suspicious. Neil considered sprinting across the room and opening the door first, but his head still hurt so he stayed put and watched Nicky go to the door. 

Nicky opened the door and immediately burst into tears, the man--who Neil hoped was Erik--wrapped Nicky up in a hug, lifted him off the ground and pressed kisses to his face and head. 

Neil looked at Matt who was beaming with clear involvement. 

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” Nicky was chanting inbetween sobs. 

“Yes, baby, I love you too,” Erik said in german. The likelihood of this tall blonde guy speaking German and holding onto Nicky for dear life not being Erik was insanely small. “HI,” Erik said in heavily accented English to the rest of them, over Nicky’s shoulder. 

“Hey Erik,” Aaron said without inflection. 

“Okay, okay,” Nicky hopped down from Erik's arms and let him come into the apartment. “This is Randy, she’s amazing. Matt, her son. Kevin, who only talks about Exy. And Neil--” 

“The one whose ass you kept telling me about?” Erik asked in amused German. 

Oh, did Erik think that was funny? Well, Neil was about to be hilarious.

“Yup, that’s me, if you could get him to stop talking about my ass that would be great actually,” Neil said in german. 

“YOU’VE KNOWN GERMAN THIS WHOLE TIME?” Nicky yelled. 

“Oh my fucking god,” Aaron awed. “No, no way.” 

“Yeah I lived in Germany for a while as a kid,” Neil answered, still in German. 

“This is hilarious,” Erik said in English. “You are my new favorite man.” 

“Erik!” Nicky whined. 

“Second favorite man.” 

“I am so impressed that you managed to sit on that one for this long,” Matt said. “How?” 

“I honestly kept forgetting to tell anyone.” 

“How many languages do you know?” Aaron asked. 

“Uh, fluent in three, okayish in another four.” 

“Andrew’s gonna lose his shit when he finds you you’ve understood us this whole time,” Nicky warned. 

“Andrew knows,” Neil told him. “Honestly, I figured he would have told you but then you kept talking about my ass.” 

“Why did Andrew get to know you speak German!” 

“He asked.” 

“If we ask you questions will you tell us the truth?” Matt asked. 

“It’s entirely possible.” Neil shrugged. He wouldn’t go around giving any monologues about his torrid past, but the idea of answering some questions with a bit of honesty wasn’t as revolting as it once was. Friends, yeah? That’s what they all were, hostile but loyal. 

Nicky and Erik took off on their own and the rest of them settled in to watch movies. 

Neil woke Kevin up early the next morning on Christmas Eve, dragged him out of bed and ignored his bitching while he made them coffee and shoved Kevin out the door. 

“Are we going to court?” Kevin asked, still bleary and exhausted. 

“No, we’re going shopping.” Neil told him. 

“You hate shopping, let’s just go to court.” 

“Yeah, I do hate shopping but we need to get everyone Christmas presents.”

“What?”

“Presents, for the team, people who care about each other occasionally exchange items,” he was adapting Matt’s dating rules, there was certainly enough proof to suggest it was the right track. All of the holiday movies they’d watched the night before had suggested the same.

“That’s,” Kevin dragged his hands across his face. “Neil, what?” 

“I have never had friends, I’ve also never bought anyone presents.” They stepped outside and Neil started ushering Kevin towards the subway. “You’re going to help me.” 

“Why?” 

“Because we’re friends.” 

“That’s--” Kevin made a face. “Fine, but I’m not getting anyone anything.” 

“Yes you are.” 

“I don’t do presents.” 

“We’re learning right now. Look,” Neil grabbed onto Kevin’s arm. “I am going to die, you won’t. You get to live Kevin. So, you are going to live. You’re gonna let the upperclassmen befriend you and you’re going to keep dragging Andrew to court. And you are going to be fine. You will have friends and a team and Coach and Abby and you will live a long stupid life for the both of us.” 

“I don’t know how to do this,” Kevin admitted. 

“You think I do?” 

“I don’t know how to do any of it, Exy makes sense at least.” 

“I don’t think it’ll ever get any easier, but it’s worth it. Isn’t it?” 

Kevin scratched his left hand. And gestured for Neil to keep leading the way. They got onto the subway and sat in silence while Neil threw Riko’s SIM card into the air and caught it over and over again. He still hadn’t decided what to do with it, hadn’t worked up the nerve to slip it into a phone and look through the contents. Maybe he’d ask Andrew for help in the New Year and pawn it off on him.

Shopping was inordinately hard, Kevin and Neil kept arguing over what people would like. Neil found a t-shirt with a mangy looking cat on it and showed it to Kevin, “this is you.” Neil said. 

Kevin retaliated in the next store with a picture of a dumb looking sheep. And on it went. As Neil picked out the softest scarves and sweaters he could find and Kevin tried to make an argument for nutrition based gifts. 

“Should we get stuff for Coach or Abby?” Neil asked. 

Kevin looked at the wall of coffee mugs. “Probably, I think Nicky did.” 

Neil grabbed two and put them in the cart. Done and done. 

Kevin picked up a mug covered in racquets, “Wymack’s my father,” he said quiet and defeated. 

That made a concerning amount of sense. “Are you going to tell him?” Neil asked. 

“I don’t think it’ll go over well.” 

It wouldn’t, Wymack wouldn’t believe him and Dan would probably challenge him to a duel for Wymack’s honor or something equally ridiculous. “If it’s any consolation, I don’t think Wymack would stab you.” 

“Neil.” 

“I’m just saying, as far as fathers go he seems very unstabby. Against stabbing even, if we consider how he reacts to Andrew.” 

“None of this is fair.” It wasn’t a complaint or a whine, it was just a fact. 

“I know,” Neil agreed. “You should tell him he’s your father while I’m still around. A little entertainment is the least I deserve.” 

Kevin reached over and shoved him. Neil shoved him back. Kevin grabbed a mug off the shelf and then shoved the cart forward. 

“You should talk to Dan,” Neil told him. 

“What?’ 

“Well, she’s the captain and wants to be Wymack when she grows big and grumpy. She’s basically your older sister.” 

“You’re insufferable.” 

“I’m delegating, I can’t help you with this shit, my experience with fathers is exclusively being hunted for sport. Besides, if you go to Dan first she might not hate you forever.” 

“I don’t care if she hates me or not,” Kevin grumbled. 

“You’re going to start,” Neil told him. “You have to carry on being a demented asshole for me after I’m dead and that means caring about all the other demented little assholes on our team.” 

“That’s not--” 

“I don’t care, this is what I’m asking you to do. Will you do it?” 

“You’re asking for a lot.” 

“It’s literally my dying wish.” 

“I’ll try.” 

They finished shopping before noon, before anyone else even had the chance to wake up and wonder where they’d run off too. Neil managed to discreetly ask Randy for spare wrapping paper and then him and Kevin horrifically wrapped and labeled all their gifts for everyone. Most went into the new suitcase Neil had bought while they were out for this purpose. A whole second bag to lug presents back to South Carolina. 

Randy passed around eggnog and Erik told everyone stories about Germany. They all played cards and Randy put on old Christmas music to fill the air. Kevin made conversation and didn’t insult anyone for the whole night. 

It was nice. It was nice to see Nicky so happy, Aaron so calm, Kevin so trying. Matt seemed pleased and his mom seemed over the moon and Neil thought it was all just really nice. It was nice to spend this time with them, it was even nice to miss the others. To look at the texts from the girls and Seth and think about Andrew in rehab and know that they were all safe enough. That he would see them in the new year. It was nice that he got to have any of this at all. 

A warm blanket wrapped around him as he played a game everyone explained the rules to, it was good. 

Late in Christmas morning everyone came into the living room on some sort of understood Holiday tradition. Matt and Randy exchanged presents. Randy gave them all candy and an invitation to come back in the Summer. 

Nicky handed out presents, he gave Aaron a set of video games and Matt a stack of horrible looking movies. He gave Randy a pair of earrings and Kevin a set of leather gloves. He gave Neil a soft black coat. 

Nicky kissed Erik on the cheek and sat back down with him. 

“Right then,” Neil said, he poked Kevin in the side. 

Kevin got up and got the wrapped presents from Randy’s guestroom. 

“You got us presents?” Nicky asked in an amazed slightly shrill voice. 

Neil and Kevin handed them out silently. 

Neil gave Randy a soft scarf, Kevin gave her a coffee mug that said, “Mama Said Knock You Out,” on it. 

“Oh, thank you,” she said, touched. 

Neil gave Matt a T-Shirt with some movie character Matt liked on it. Kevin gave him a book of comics that seemed vaguely familiar to one of Matt’s other pop culture obsessions. 

“These are both really thoughtful,” Matt admitted, his jaw slack.

Neil gave Aaron a keychain that doubled as brass knuckles. Kevin gave him a book on the history of handwashing. 

“You motherfuckers.” 

They each gave Erik an envelope containing IOU’s with the offer to pay for flights to South Carolina. 

“Thank you,” Erik said with a giant smile, slipping the envelopes back into his pocket before Nicky could look at them. 

Neil gave Nicky a fuzzy sweater and Kevin gave him a pair of socks covered in the word “Slut.” 

“You guys got me presents,” Nicky was crying. 

“Aaron have you never gotten your cousin a present?” Neil asked in utter disbelief. 

“Oh, shut the fuck up, I called Erik didn’t I.” 

“I’m telling Katelyn.” 

Aaron stood up grumbled and cursed and left the room and then came back still grumbling and cursing with his backpack. He pulled out a wrapped present that he tossed to Nicky and then one that he threw at Neil. “These are from Katelyn, not me. Shut up. She made them.”

Nicky opened his, shuddering as he tried not to cry. It was a deep green knitted hat that looked complicated to make and warm. Nicky immediately pulled it on and smiled bigger than Neil had ever seen, except for maybe when Erik knocked on the door.

Neil opened his, it was bright orange with white Foxes and Exy racquets all around it. Neil ran his hand along the knitted fabric. “She made this?” He asked. She made it for him? For him?

“Yeah,” Aaron shrugged.  

And finally Neil and Kevin both exchanged their dumb animal t-shirts that they’d both managed to purchase without the other noticing. 

“You both did such great jobs with literally everyone else, what is this?” Nicky asked. 

“That’s what Kevin looks like,’ Neil said, pointing to the yacking homeless looking cat on the shirt Kevin was holding up. 

“That’s what Neil looks like,” Kevin said at the same time pointing to the brainless sheep without a thought behind its eyes on Neil’s shirt. 

Matt had them both hold up the shirts again so he could take a picture and send it to everyone else. 

On New Years Eve Nicky wanted to go to Times Square. 

“Describe this experience to me?” Neil asked. 

“Everyone goes to Times Square on New Years Eve, there'll be music and fireworks and it’ll be neat!” Nicky said. 

“Everyone? In one of the most densely populated cities in the world will be in one place, with loud noises, tonight?” Neil asked. 

“Yes!” 

“Nicky, I will freak the fuck out. I will freak out so bad you’ll all be so pleased to return to someone well adjusted when I give you back to Andrew.” 

Nicky pouted but then agreed to a far more low-key New Years on the condition that Neil have champagne. 

Randy put the tv on to show the Times Square show and Neil silently patted himself on the back for avoiding that colossal trainwreck. Nicky could go to Rockin’ New Years Eve when Neil was dead and rotting. 

They played poker and maintained conversation that wasn’t awkward or strained or even slightly hostile. Erik was the dealer and they were betting with cookies shaped like trees. 

“Neil, how the hell do you keep winning?” Matt asked. 

Neil kept winning because he learned poker from criminals and how to remain calm under pressure from being tortured by criminals and how to read people from running from criminals. Also he was cheating. But that’s on everyone else for getting up to get snacks so constantly and leaving Neil at the table alone with all the defenseless cards. 

“Matt, sweetie, after you fold could you run down to pick our food?” Randy asked. 

“I’m not folding!” Matt said. 

“Well,” Neil said, because Matt had zero poker face and also Neil had looked at his cards. “You are, but it’s okay. We can trade hands, I’ll go get the food.” He tossed his hand over to Matt, who looked at the cards and then mouthed ‘what the fuck’ to Neil. Probably at the statistically improbable perfect hand Neil had put together for himself when no one was looking.

Neil put on his new coat and asked Randy for the directions to the pizza place again. It was just down the block, there was still an hour until midnight. He could do with a walk, with a little bit of time away from the idiots. And he was feeling magnanimous, almost high off everyone getting along and having a good time. 

The buildings in New York had a way of turning the wind into knives. Of cutting right through the bone, every exhale left a trail of smoke as Neil made his way to the pizza place Matt and his mom were obsessed with. They’d saved “New York Pizza,” for New Years Eve, a huge deal apparently. 

Their time in New York was coming to an end, they’d leave in two days and then they’d pick up Andrew from rehab and time would march on. However much of it Neil had left. 

Neil looked up at the generic looking glowing Pizza sign and pulled the door open. 

The bell above it rung. 

Neil stepped inside, the pizza place distractingly warmer then the streets outside. The lights were dim, no one was behind the counter. 

There was a room off to the left full of people, Neil stepped over to it hoping to catch the eye of whatever asshole worked here so he could pick up the order for Boyd and be on his way. 

Neil looked around the dining room of the Pizza place and several facts and figures fell into irritating alignment. Men in suits everywhere, especially stationed around the walls obviously packing heat. The six men seated around a table with shiny watches, one of whom Neil recognized as a contact from France who nearly got him and his mom killed and one of whom looked too much like Riko to not be his older brother.

There’s a place down the road that mom and I think might be a front for the mob. Matt had said. Matt had said out loud to Neil. Neil had listened, had processed those words and verbally responded and then he had forgotten. Like a fucking moron. I don’t think it’s a mob we know.

Moriyama territory, New York was Moriyama territory, how stupid could they all fucking be. 

“Wesninski,” French dickhead, Simone Breton, said. “You’re still alive?” 

God Fucking Damnit. Neil was having a good night. A great night even. 

The nearest guard grabbed ahold of Neil and shoved him forward. The guard standing behind Breton was too close to be normal, all the tables had plastic covers over the table cloths, there was a carpet on the floor that looked like it should be there, maybe, if the owners were insane and had about thirty backups or a good dry cleaner. The careful distance between Breton and Ichirou, so the little heir wouldn’t get any blood or viscera on his nice clothes. 

“Simone Breton, still double dealing and stealing profits?” He’d bragged about it to Mary before he’d called Nathan and sold them out, all arrogance and no sense. Neil had a road rash scar all along one side because of this asshole. His head was pounding. Neil put up a token struggle and slipped the gun from the guard holding him.

Everyone in the room looked at Breton. “Please as if this unruly child has any idea--” Neil jerked his arm out of the guard's grip and shot Breton in the shoulder. Ten weapons were trained on Neil. Neil raised his hands up, letting the guard behind him take the gun from his grip. 

“You will die for this,” Simone spat out, barely coherent. He passed out, tumbling from his chair. Pathetic pain tolerance.

“Not this,” Neil disagreed. He turned to an unimpressed Ichirou Moriyama. “My apologies, my lord, for jumping the gun, so to speak. He tends to monologue a lot if memory serves really just better to cut him off at the start.” 

“And you presume to know anything? Wayward child?” 

“I presume to string basic facts into an intelligible order, yes.” Neil gestured to the carpet, the tables, the man who had been ready to execute Simone. 

“Give me one reason I shouldn’t kill you right now for your arrogance?” 

“Because I’d die content with a smile on my face, having wasted your precious time and resources to get out of what I’m sure is a long list of torture my father is planning for this fall. Why spoil his fun just to make my death a little better for me.” 

Ichirou waved his hand and all the guns went back to their holsters. “Everyone else leave, tonight went as planned and nothing happened unless I say otherwise, deal with that,” he gestured to Breton. “You sit.” He said to Neil. Everyone else filtered out. 

Neil sat down at the table. It was like his brain had switched off, he really should be terrified but all he could wonder is where the fuck the people who actually worked at the pizzera were. And subsequently where the damned food that Randy had ordered was sitting. 

“Where are you getting all this audacity from?” 

“Considering my father is your father’s bitch, I guess, I get the audacity from my mother.” 

“A bitch that will kill you.” 

“Oh, painfully, slowly, and with all the knowledge of how best to make it hurt. He is good at his job. I really would rather you just shoot me.”

“Where is your mother?” 

“Dead.” 

“And why are you here tonight?” He asked. 

“I’m sure you won’t accept bad luck as an answer, my lord, so let’s go with stupidity.” Neil reaches into his jean pocket and tosses Riko’s SIM card across the table. “You should check in on your brother’s keepers; he's getting a little unruly. Leaving trails left and right that will ruin everything your father’s built before you can inherit it.” 

“There’s that audacity again,” Ichirou looked at the SIM card. 

“Yeah, well, my mother was a bitch too, she just went freelance.” 

“You belong in Evermore working off the money you stole.” 

“I’d die in Evermore before I ever made anyone a cent, if you don’t collar Riko, Jean Moreau will die before he can make you anything. If he’s even still functioning right now. Evermore is a pit where investments go to die.” 

“Your father would never accept you living free.” 

“He would never accept me living, is your father about to put a bullet in his head before he removes mine?” Neil wasn’t supposed to exist but Moriyama decree, he knew a losing fight before he swung. 

“What do you even think you have to offer here?” 

“Friendly advice from beyond the grave,” dying would put one hell of a damper on New Years. “And directions to half a million dollars.” His binder was in his bag at Randy’s, but Ichirou didn’t know that or need to.

“Money you stole.” 

“Money my mother stole, or what’s left of it I guess. One could make the argument that I’m precisely where your family wants me, on the court.” 

“You are nothing, no one that I would ever deign to listen to. Untested and unworthy.” 

“And yet here we both are,” Neil spread his hands magnanimously. “Because I could be a huge pain in your ass or I could play Exy until my father kills me. And I shot the annoying french man who was stealing from you.” 

“Until your father kills you, so you're not here to beg for your life?” How many times do they have to go over this? 

“Neither of us have any say in my death, let’s not be delusional.” Even if he could convince Ichirou to convince Kengo, nothing short of the grave would stop Nathan. “I am here because the way Tetsuji and Riko run Evermore is going to cause a public incident. Because Riko has already been careless enough to make threats in public places, make attempts on people's lives, leave money trails with known offenders and criminals. And to come after me by himself. What is Exy to you? My lord, what is it to your father? A convenient cover, a bit of extra money? It’s not worth the fall out the Ravens are setting up right now.” 

Ichirou stared at him, looked down at the SIM card and tilted his head. 

“So, then, why not just clean house?” Ichirou asked. “Be done with the lot of you.”

“What did I say about not being wasteful. If you let Kevin and Jean go they’d never speak a word of any of this, there’d never be proof of anything other than Riko being a sadistic asshole. Riko has ensured that comes out, you and your father have the opportunity to properly disconnect. Cut Riko off, muzzle him, leave behind Exy for what you do best. There are plenty of economical ways to go about this.” 

“Economical, and what of you?” 

“What of me? I’m here right, at your little meeting. I put a bullet in Simone’s shoulder, he keeps his real books in the hollow of his fern by the way, back in his estate in France, it’s the one with the blue flower. I doubt he’s changed it since, that sort of arrogance results in complacency. I’m untested? There.” Neil gestured to the blood still pooled on the carpet. “Unworthy? Sure, but I don’t have to be your problem.” He was threatening the heir to a crime dynasty. He was beating Aaron out for dumbest motherfucker in the world. 

Ichirou stared at him, this whole time Neil couldn’t tell what he was thinking. The man was inscrutable, it was impossible to adjust language to appeal to him. Neil was still expecting for Ichirou to call out to one of his men and have Neil’s brains splattered all over the dining room. 

“You’re insane,” Ichirou said. “Insane, rude, and quite possibly the most idiotic person to ever sit at a table with me.” 

“Give me a little more credit than that, Simone Breton was just sitting here.” Neil was going to die, but he would die doing what he loved. Being a little shit. 

“I’m going to look into this,” Ichirou waved the SIM card through the air. “And in one week a man will be at your door to collect the ‘directions to half a million dollars,’ and possibly kill you.” 

“Do you promise?’ Neil asked. “If you order him to use a gun and aim for my head I’m willing to up the probability.” 

“Leave,” Ichirou commanded, his face finally breaking out of cold stone into incredulous confusion. 

Neil stood up, his knees nearly buckled. His legs weren’t working right, weren’t listening to his brain telling them to fucking move. “You know if anyone’s working here tonight, I was supposed to pick up a couple of pies?” Neil asked. 

“If you don’t leave now, I'm killing your entire team.” 

Neil nodded and jabbed his fist against his thigh to get it in working order. And he left the pizzeria. He couldn’t feel the cold on his face as he left the store and took the long way back to Randy’s apartment. He could make a fifteen minute walk an hour. He wanted to make it three, to ensure he wasn’t followed, but they lived so close, it was more dangerous for Neil to be away longer. 

Still he went into another pizzeria and got whatever they had ready to go. His phone started buzzing in his pocket on the way back but Neil was terrified of what would be on the other side. 

He walked back up to Randy’s apartment and knocked on the door. 

“Dude, what took so long?” Matt asked, stopped, stared at Neil’s face. ‘Okay, what the fuck happened.” 

Neil put the pizza down on the table. It was well past 12:30, he’d missed the ball drop. 

“That isn’t the place we ordered from?” Randy observed. 

“Neil is that, blood on your cheek?” Nicky asked, his voice shaky. 

Neil grabbed Matt by the shoulders. “It was a mob we know,” he told Matt in a dead slightly hysterical voice. “The pizzeria is run by a mob we know.”

[swampthingking]

long post incoming (I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT AARON MINYARD)

the aaron hate train has CRASHED AND BURNED

please put the smallest bit of thought into aaron’s characterization, his story, his actions, especially towards and for andrew. he is not a heartless asshole, and the more you study his actions, the more you realize about him.

most of why aaron is such an asshole and is so angry is because him and andrew have fucking horrendous communication skills. action-driven displays of care don’t always resonate with people. some people need shit to be spelled out. (neil has no room to talk about aaron being stupid when both of them need shit spelled out for them lmao)

how is aaron to know these deals and these violent displays from andrew are andrew’s way of having a relationship with him? andrew has never had a relationship with someone, let alone a healthy relationship with a brother. think about andrew’s previous “brotherly” relationships. andrew didn’t tell aaron shit, for which i don’t blame him, but aaron had nothing to go off of. nothing. how can you defend a man you don’t know? how can you find the good in a man who only shows you the bad?

wouldn’t you be spiteful if—from aaron’s point of view—you find out you have a twin, he tells you to fuck off, you meet by accident and start living together, he kills your mother (nuanced, i know, but aaron still loved her. he was angry), and instead of being actual brothers, he starts forming all these weird ass deals with you and won’t give you a real answer as to why he needs to do all this shit, and then you fall in love with a woman you feel safe with and he torments her? andrew did not tell aaron anything about why he felt he needed to do all of these things. you’re telling me, from aaron’s point of view, you wouldn’t be fucking livid and confused? you wouldn’t blame him for complicating and uprooting your life?

as for neil— aaron had every right to be rude to neil. who the fuck is this kid and who does he think he is? why is he meddling in my life and my fucked up not-relationship with my brother? why is he the one who gets to be close with andrew? why do i still want to be close to andrew? (because he does want to be close to andrew, you know he does. why would he have immediately, instinctively killed drake, and stayed in therapy with andrew after they break off their deal if he didn’t want to mend their relationship?)

i saw someone on here say once that neil, the fastest striker in exy history, the rabbit, the “flight” in fight-or-flight, was too slow. neil hadn’t even finished processing the scene before aaron swung the racquet. and after andrew’s first beckon for aaron to come closer, aaron was immediately holding andrew, “like he thought andrew would disappear if he let go.”

just to make this ^^^ more heartbreaking and to further my point, aaron is not a fighter. please correct me if i’m wrong, but i don’t think there’s a single scene in the trilogy where aaron gets violent with anyone, even during a game. aaron is never physically violent. he prefers words.

i believe thanksgiving was the catalyst for aaron and andrew’s brotherhood. this is the first time the twins actually see one another. andrew has seen aaron, but aaron had never seen andrew. he didn’t know how to read andrew; he didn’t know where to look. he would have never thought andrew would have gone through something like this before. after aaron killed drake, he was stared in the face the ‘why’ behind all of his interactions with andrew. like, “oh. oh. this is why andrew is the way he is.”

so wouldn’t it be just convenient that andrew and neil’s relationship started after they all found out andrew had been r*d? neil, this mysterious man with scars and secrets and connections to the yakuza and, oh yeah, his father is a serial killer. they now know everything about neil, but neil didn’t cough up anything about his relationship with andrew or his motives.

so now it’s aaron’s turn to protect his brother. aaron approached neil and said something fucking ugly (“…or you saw drake r* andrew and realized he’s easy prey”) just to see how neil would react. just to test neil the way neil had tested aaron (“drake was an inconvenience andrew was willing to live with” “so now you understand why andrew killed your mother”).

a punch in the mouth. good. expected, judging by aaron’s calm reaction. there we go: it’s been spelled out.

andrew and neil react with physical violence, but never with one another. andrew and neil lash out because of their feelings for one another (andrew choking out kevin, which was profound because of his deal to protect kevin. neil punching aaron at his disgusting insinuation.)

neil and aaron push and push each other regarding the other’s care for andrew but the bottom line is that aaron needed tilda’s death to be spelled out, and aaron needed it to be spelled out that neil genuinely cares for andrew.

we have to remember that these characters were created to be studied. these are multi-facited, layered individuals, with their own traumas that have framed the way they form relationships with themselves and others.

why do we forgive the other foxes so easily? why do we not give aaron that same grace? why do we portray him as this thoughtless, heartless asshole, who gives no fucks about anyone but himself or katelyn? be so fr rn. do not flatten a dimensional character.

I get so mad when people say they hate Aaron and make him look like he was evil.

I'm sorry but there's no way in the world that the things he said to Neil (to protect Andrew in his own weird way and to anger him bcs he himself was angry) were so bad that thry overshadow that HE KILLED A FUCKING CHILD PREDATOR. He bashed Drake's brains for messing with his brother and assured that no more kids were in danger around him. That makes him a hero.

And yeah, he is a grey character contextualized in the early 2000's ofc he said some fucked up shit and wasn't nice to the new (meddeling) kid. But all the Foxes had their moments and don't get even one fraction of his backlash.

[crystalmethsthings]

All for the game fic tumblr, I need you. SOMEONE GIVE ME FICS WHERE ANDREW MISSES NEIL. Long distance relationship and they reunite, Andrew goes on a trip or vise versa, I don’t care. Just a soft Andreil fic where Andrew misses Neil after they’re apart for a little while and when they reunite, he tries to pretend he didn’t miss Neil but he’s clinging to him and Neil knows but he doesn’t say anything-

[blues-socks]

Photo taken by Andrew (right after their wedding). 

Inspiration and ref from this post :https://blues-socks.tumblr.com/post/619406662962429952/itsstickball-itsstickball-please-excuse-me (sorry i cant get it to embed properly