#i must make it consistent AHAHA
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hi i hope you don't mind me doing this...
i wanted to tell vincent's backstory when he found out isaac was his brother. then you wanted to see babies and i thought ok, i will delay it! now i can't keep putting it aside and vincent's backstory is important to understand him better! so i will be telling it soon. as you know, he's had a tough life and i need some time and motivation to get me started on planning/playing it out properly.
so for the time being i hope you enjoy my tjolc comeback! i miss my tjolc sims and i just wanted to play in mt.komorebi for a bit. it's a new story and environment to focus on and it helped with my motivation a lot!! thanks for being patient with me 😊
and you'll see oscar again (hopefully see how far i get) then the other guy you've waited 9 months for - his face remains a secret 🤫
#its more like i wanted to take my mind off postcard legacy for a bit before telling his story! i know its a weird thought process#i could post infant gp but tbh it would be the same scenery/background as future posts and i know id get bored easily#but i loved visiting this save again and taking pics in mt komorebi#i never really “started” this legacy so i will be revisiting those posts first for a recap. since my gshade and sim style has changed a bit#i must make it consistent AHAHA#rambles#gameplay update
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Ooo more you say 👀? May I ask again for 3, 4, and 5 for the Oto-may ask game please 🥰?
Yay~! More questions for me to answer and talk about!
3) Funny moment
Ah..... Ahaha... AHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!
Okay, I want to share not just a funny moment. But by far the funniest moment I've encountered across the otomes I've played because. Buckle up folks is it a weird one!
Our scene takes place in Winter's Wish: Spirits of Edo.
In this world, everyday items can take on human forms as Formfolk/Vessels (the difference doesn't matter for now). One of these tools-turned-humans is the love interest Ohtaro.
And then we have our heroine, Suzuno. She has special powers that let her see emotions and purify monsters born of negative emotions. In Ohtaro, she also gains the ability to see into someone's past by performing intimate acts.
Suzuno gets some flashbacks and figures out that Ohtaro is connected to her mother (he was a belonging of the mother's). And so to learn the full truth, she finds Ohtaro in a field and just...
Goes for the kiss, right then and there.
And the thing is, the flashback lasts as long as the kiss does. The text of the game outright says that Suzuno "comes back to reality" and she's still kissing Ohtaro when that happens. So my brain now has the image of Suzuno and Ohtaro making out sloppy style just so Suzuno can learn about her mom.
That alone is funny enough.
But it gets funnier because...
Y'ALL! EVERYONE ELSE WAS WATCHING THEM!
Now Kyoshiro likely means that the team has been watching Suzuno and Ohtaro's interactions for the past several days. But I also imagine that they followed Suzuno to the field and saw her and Ohtaro making out for who knows how long.
They just let it happen and only stepped in after they were done making out down memory lane.
PEAK COMEDY IN MY OPINION!
4) Most annoying character
Not to hate a child character... But Ru from Variable Barricade can shut up. I'm trying to focus on Shion being a loving and doting suitor and then Ru comes barreling in like "senpai! Please help me get hired by the photographer that you used to model for!"
I know the kid wants to be famous and is trying to network. But goodness gracious, why must he be present in the route? I still don't get why he's there. I think the route could function just fine since Hibari can still insist that Shion go back to his old job and he can make a drama of it. ALL WITHOUT THE CHILD THERE!
But no. I have to put up with the kid.
It's not that I don't like child characters who appear in otomes. I adore Nadia (Virche Evermore) and Kariya (Cafe Enchante). But maybe it's because Nadia is literally integral to Lucas's life while Kariya consistently involves himself in every route. And then Ru is a random internet celebrity showing up in Shion's route and it's so ugh to me.
LIKE NO! SHUT UP, RU! SHION AND I ARE HAVING A MOMENT!
5) Sad moment
Hngh... (sniffles and wipes tears) Lucas... My man... He's abso-fucking-lutely hated by the writers because WHY CAN'T HE BE HAPPY?!?!?!?
The scene where the story flashes back to Lucas's past... Oof. Lucas ran away from home with his sister Nadia when he was 14 and her 4. She was sick and on the verge of death. No doctor could figure it out. Most agreed she was doomed to die. And the siblings' parents figured that the only way to let her live would be to clone her which... is a problem for various reasons.
So Lucas just picks up little Nadia and walks off with her, desperate to find help anywhere. They get caught in the rain and Lucas laments how he and his baby sister can't live normal lives. That the conditions of their birth were a cruel trial from God.
It's really not fair knowing that all Lucas wanted for him and his sister was a normal life and since the very beginning, all they really had was each other. Not even their parents had their backs.
It breaks my heart...
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P4G 3/20 attendant confrontation jp dub YAYYY. A compilation of isolated Japanese voice lines of the MOEL Gas Station Attendant during the confrontation on 03/20. This is the Golden version specifically because the some lines were retaken to be a bit more consistent with the newly recorded ones i think lol.
Here’s the original PS2 version, and a comparison of the voice lines being played back to back.
translation notes & script sorry for all the footnotes in the video lol ↴
English Transcript
My, aren't you troublesome. You defeated the Sagiri I hid within Adachi and Namatame, as well as having saved that diminutive dwarf of a life.
“Are you talking about Marie?” “So you're the one behind everything.¹” “I heard about you.”
Fufu... it's such a ridiculous thing. What would you even get with saving a life like that? Getting rid of that needless fog was the only thing such rubbish could do.
...Hm? Ahahaha! Don't tell me... She was still carrying that thing around!
Aha, excuse me... It's what you have, that old bamboo comb of yours.
“I got it from Marie.”
Yes... I know. After all, that gift² I gave her, a “comb of separation,” you see.
“What about it?”
Fufu... with that look on your face, you don't know who gave her that comb either. That comb right there... is simply a gift² I gave her. A “comb of separation,” you see.
“Why do you laugh?”
Fufu... My apologies, this whole thing is just so amusing. That comb right there... is simply a gift² I gave her. A “comb of separation,” you see.
It's such a foolish thing... That comb I placed a curse on³—to think she cherished⁴ it all this time. How much she wanted to cling onto anything so gravely... Even being so tenacious⁵ has its limits!
“I will not forgive you.” “Don't you look down on Marie.” “You've messed with me as well.”
Hmph, and what are you going to do about it?
Had the last time we fought not satisfy you? As I've expected of one who posseses such power.
“What do you mean?”
I've seen it in you, the potential⁶ you posses.
“Why did you choose me?”
Of course, it's the extraordinary potential⁶ you hold.
“Who are you?⁷”
You must know by now... Is that not why you came?
Your friends were guided by the “spark” I gave you, thus, they awakened to their own powers, and how they found themselves where they are. But, to think you would arrive here to me... Truly, I never expected this at all. You certainly are interesting.
That “spark” I gave you... do you not remember? The day you first arrived here, I gave your power a little push. Just like... this.
You're not the only one here I've greeted with a “welcome handshake.” Just like you, I granted it to others from the outside. And just these individuals that come from the outside were already enough to stimulate this small world.
However... It appears that the stimulus was greater than expected. The fog enveloped this place, and soon, cleared. And above all this, you're unsatisfied with the role you played, thus you stand here before me... All of this... and for what reason?
“To end everything.”
Fuun, the fog has already cleared in your world, and you're still not content? Fools, always so full of deep desire by nature, are they not?
“To learn the truth.”
This pursuit of the truth... what would any of it attain? Fools, always so full of deep desire by nature, are they not?
“I don't really know.”
Ahaha... You truly are interesting.
Translation Notes
00:19 : 1 黒幕 literally means "black curtain," but also "wirepuller; mastermind; backroom manipulator; éminence grise; power broker"
01:05 : 2 The original word was "手向け" which means "offering to a deity or someone's spirit" or "tribute to a person who is about to depart." I don't know how to make it sound natural in English, so I used "gift" for further connotations.
01:49 : 3 The original was "私が呪いの言葉を込めた櫛を" and I wasn't too sure how the action was being used. Not sure if it was "giving the comb with a curse on it" or "putting a curse on the comb" if you have any insight on how particles are supposed to work like this I'd really appreciate it. It's like learning a bunch of math formulas individually and tests have you use 7 of them in the same problem. 4 It used 後生大事 which means "with religious zeal; with utmost devotion; take great care of" exaggerating how absurd Marie thought of the comb
02:07 : 5 未練 "reluctance to abandon or depart from something." Using "clingy" didn't feel right but "tenacious" felt too rough but I couldn't find anything I wanted in the same formal tone oh whatever I think it's enough
02:30 : 6 The kanji is 適性 and dictionaries give me 適性: "aptitude; aptness; suitability." I was digging around and found that it "is related to someone's learning speed or future potential rather than their current ability," so I stuck with "potential" anyway. https://japanese.stackexchange.com/questions/91567/whats-the-difference-between-%E9%81%A9%E6%80%A7-and-%E8%83%BD%E5%8A%9B-or-%E6%89%8D%E8%83%BD
02:42 : 7 The question is "何者だ?" which is "who; what kind of person" I think it's cool.
"Spark (きっかけ)" is emphasized that way because it's different from "power (力)." Izanami means she only assisted awaken the "power" of Persona, the "spark" being the access to enter the TV. If the protagonist couldn't enter the TV World, then he would never have awakened to Izanagi or got Yosuke or Chie inside the TV World either.
#persona 4 spoilers#persona 4#p4#moel gas station attendant#izanami persona#⛽️🌫#viddeo#// back at fighting for my life trying to translate something on my own waiting for a native or someone better to correct me 💥#// anyway you can see the trend of my pretty stiff translations trying to keep it close to the original text (CHALLENGE FAILED)#// but still trying to make it flow with the spoken dialogue at the same time ← deranged multilingual#// 'why are you retranslating this' because the game was made in 18 months and the localizers were given even less time to translate everyth#// 'translation notes' and it's all the fun stuff i saw and the things i wanted to point out because of the . difficulty .#// to express it in english ahh i love the art of trnaslating<- explodes one million times#// i'll post the original ps2 version and the comparison soon maybe and maybe fruitcake awards will take a turn OHH#// STRAIGHT UP LIED lol anyway this is all in queue now. fruitcake standoff
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Diabolik Lovers LOST EDEN ー Subaru Ecstasy [Epilogue]
CHAPTER MASTERLIST
ー The scene starts in the Grand Hall at Eden
Shin: ーー Nii-san. I just got word from my Familiars.
Seems like Zweig, the one leading the troops, is acting weird.
Carla: ...Just like I thought.
Azusa: I wonder what caused him to start acting this way...?
Ruki: The Church consists of humans. They can’t use magic.
...As a result, it has been rumored that they have been conducting research to grant them those magical abilities.
It is possible that they did some sort of experiment on him.
Yuma: In other words, he’s become even stronger than before?
Ayato: That doesn’t matter. Yours Truly will make quick work of him.
Reiji: ...It is true that if his body has been modified in some way, we cannot count on our Familiars alone to handle this.
ーー Subaru. Give out orders to us all. You are the Vampire King after all.
Subaru: Ugh...
We will head out into battle as well. We’ll defeat the Vibora and the Church right here, right now.
Kanato: ...
Carla: ...
Subaru: ...But there’s one thing I’d like to ask of you guys.
Yui’s...Her Father...I want you to spare his life.
ー The scene shifts to the outside of Eden
Monologue
ーー A bunch of people I don’t know,
are wielding their weapons,
firing off magic as they fight.
What I had to witness at Eden,
after being taken there,
made me want to cover my eyes just so I wouldn’t have to see it.
Kino-kun stood there chuckling quietly,
as he saw me tremble with fear.
ーー The fun has finally begun.
Reflected in the back of Kino-kun’s eyes,
was nothing but pure darkness.
Yui: Subaru-kun! You guys!!
( They’re all fighting...Oh no, I can’t watch. )
( Why...? How did this happen...? )
Kino: Well then, I guess it’s my time to shine.
Yuuri. I’m leaving her in your care.
Yuuri: Yes. I know.
*Rustle*
Yui: ーー! W-Wait, Kino-kun!
Kino: What makes you think I’ll wait? I’m having so much fun!
*Woosh*
Kino: Ahahaha! Weaklings!
*Woosh*
ー Kino runs off
Yui: Kino-kun!!
( Subaru-kun is over thereーー )
Kino: Fufu, found you!
*Woosh*
Kino: ーー Woah. Too bad, I missed my target.
Subaru: Kino...You bastard!
Kino: I bet you must be happy we can finally throw down? I’ll kill you right here, right now, Subaru!
Subaru: ...!
Carla: You step back. We shall take him on.
Shin: We’ll show him what us First Bloods are capable of, won’t we, Nii-san?
Ayato: Hell nah. Ayato-sama will kick his ass ーー
Yuma: Aah? The fuck are ya sayin’? Imma do that instead.
Subaru: ーー No, it’s fine.
I’ll take care of him. You guys stay out of it.
Kino: ...
You really are so blessed. ...You’re making me gag.
Subaru: ...
Yeah, I’m blessed. Unlike you.
Kino: !!
*WOOSH WOOSH*
Carla: ...He must have made up his resolve.
We shall go take on Zweig. Follow me.
Ayato: Aah? Don’t be tellin’ me what to do!
Shin: Excuse me? Could you stop going against Nii-san’s orders?
Yuma: Don’t get into a damn argument now! Come on, let’s go!
ー The others run off
*WOOSH WOOSH*
Kino: Kuh...You’re not half bad.
Subaru: Hah! Seems like you’re actually all bark and no bite!
*WOOSH WOOSH*
Kino: ーー !? ...Fufu, are you sure?
If you somehow manage to kill me, Yuuri will make sure to end that girl’s life, you see?
Subaru: Don’t be lyin’ now!
Kino: Take a look over there. That’s your precious girlfriend being held captive by him, no?
Subaru: ...! Why is she...!?
Kino: Ahaha! You’re leaving yourself wide open!
*WOOSH*
Subaru: Ugah!?
Yui: ーー Subaru-kun!!
*Rustle rustle*
Yui: Yuuri-san! I’m begging you, let me go...!!
Yuuri: ...My sincere apologies...I cannot possibly go against Kino’s orders...
Yui: ...Ugh...
( Subaru-kun... )
Kino: Ahahaha! Ahahahaha! Die! Perish!!
*WOOSH WOOSH*
Subaru: Uaaaaaah!?
ー Subaru collapses
*Thud*
Subaru: ...Uu...
Kino: Fufu, ahaha. You are fated to meet your end here.
This is the price you have to pay for being loved! I shall end your life right now.
Yui: Kino-kun! Cut it out already!
( Why...How!? At this rate, Subaru-kun will... )
ー The screen fades to black
Yui: ( I’m begging you, don’t die...!! )
ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー
#diabolik lovers#dialovers#subaru sakamaki#lost eden#diabolik lovers translation#lesubaruecstasyepilog
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Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #5
As predicted, the mild sniffles I had yesterday are just about gone today! But also, since I got my immunity to The Plague boosted, I'm just a little bit tired. But that's okay. Unpleasant things are often only temporary, and if you leverage them right, you can weave unpleasant things into good things in the future - good things like temporary immunity to The Plague, in this case! Ahahaha~!
Though I'm a bit tired, I still had enough energy to strain the broth today! Check it out:
It looks a lot better now, doesn't it? I'm pretty pleased with how the color turned out! And my house still smells AMAZING after letting it simmer for a day and a half. Right now, it's in the fridge to let any fats rise to the surface and solidify. Later, I'll scoop out the fats, incorporate them into some flour, and then incorporate the flour into the rest of the broth; the result will be a very smooth, rich consistency that is good for a variety of things!
I thought I would have energy to get it all done today, but I don't; all that squishing of the excess water out of the scraps and back into the pot has left my arms and hands super tired, because unlike you, my body is kinda weak and noodley, hahaha!
So instead, I decided to make myself some tea and relax a bit. I make tea a lot, and so by now, I have what I like down to a science! I'll show you:
This is my tea thermos! It holds 34 oz of fluid (or about 1 liter, if metric is more your speed)! This morning while I was doing my things, I was delighted to find a box of apricot tea that I thought I had lost! So I made some, and added 2 tablespoons and 1 teaspoon of honey, and 3/4ths of a cup of milk to it! After a lot of experimenting in the past, I found that this is the tea-sweetener-milk ratio that is ideal for my body's sensory hardware; someone else might have a different ratio that is better for them, and that is good too!
I wish I could make a mug of tea for you. But... when is the last time you've had tea, anyway? Do you even like tea? I ask because not everyone does, and that's all right. Maybe you'd prefer coffee? Or juice? Maybe even some kind of fizzy drink? Or just plain water? I wonder...
If you do like tea, I wonder which kind you like best! In my world, we have an overwhelming number of different kinds of tea - thousands and thousands of them! Lots of them use the leaves of camellia sinensis, but others use different kinds of herbs, fruits, and whatever else people can think of! Often, people will blend various different things together to come up with entirely new teas! The folks of my world are astoundingly creative, and so there's almost no limit to the number of very beautiful and very delicious things that exist here! I wish I could show them all to you!
In particular, there was this one kind of tiramisu tea that a company called Teavana used to make, back when it still existed. This was my favorite tea until it ceased to exist; I've not found any other suitable substitute quite yet. It had black tea leaves, blended with bits of dried coffee, chocolate, and mascarpone cheese, amongst other things. It was really good all on its own, but if you added just a touch of milk and sugar to it, it became unbelievably decadent, oh my goodness!! I wish I could give you a mug of this stuff! Alas, at this point, it only exists in the memories of the people who used to enjoy it, as far as I know. But I can show you a picture of what it used to look like! Here:
I hope you get to enjoy tea again soon if it's something that you like; I can't imagine that The Edge of Creation is especially well-stocked with anything that would offer comfort, nourishment, or joy to a living creature, ahaha...
...It's actually really sad to think about you being over there because of that. I have no doubt that you must have seen some astounding and hauntingly beautiful things during your time over there - surely much of it is stuff that I can't even begin to fathom. But a world without things like soup, tea, macaroni and cheese, soaps that smell nice, warm fluffy towels, blanket forts, and people to enjoy stuff like this with... it seems rather empty to me. Or maybe you have a different perspective?
Maybe someday, those of my world will be blessed to hear you tell us about what your experiences over there have been like and what you've learned along the way. Maybe you could tell us about it over tea and snacks, even! Wouldn't that be so nice?
Please come back to us safe and sound so that such a thing could occur, if to do such a thing with us would be a source of relief, comfort, and joy for you. And if that doesn't sound like a good time to you, then please come back to us safe and sound anyway, because you're still loved and important, even if tea and conversation, as a concept, might seem overwhelming or uninteresting to you - you don't have to perform for others or do what they want in order to be cared about exactly as you are.
Until next time.
Your friend, Lumine
#sephiroth#ThankYouFFVIIDevs#ThankYouFF7Devs#ThankYouSephiroth#ff7#ffvii#final fantasy vii#final fantasy 7#final fantasy crisis core#ffvii crisis core#crisis core#ff7 crisis core#ff7r#ffviir#ff7 remake#ff7 rebirth#final fantasy 7 rebirth#ff7ec#ffvii ever crisis#ever crisis#the first soldier#wholesome
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Sorry I meant to reply to your last message (I have a terrible habit of being social and then go radio silent for like a week after ahaha). I listened to a few of Hyunsang's songs and oh my goodness, genuinely is he ok?? They were really good and I loved them, but all the ones I heard were so sad?? Does he need a hug?? Who do I have to beat up?
Your post about people is so true though, it's honestly so hard to make friendships (or even just be nice to some people tbh). Sometimes you just don't vibe with a person, but I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I mean irl, there is someone in my friend group who I just don't vibe with at all, but all of my friends really like him and enjoy hanging out w him. It is quite hard sometimes to be friendly ahaha (it does make me feel like a horrible person tbh, but what can you do? But I think the whole thing of how he got into our friend group is a bit strange. Without context it sounds bad, but I promise it is genuinely kinda weird lol). But definitely if you ever find that our convo is too dry or weird, don't hesitate to tell me!! I think sometimes you have to prioritise your comfort and if the other person is willing to change, then that's probably a good sign!
I hope you are doing well! (I watched another clip from a Lucy concert and got jealous of you again 😡)
lol don’t worry at all!! LMAO STOP IJBOL 😭😭😭 it’s so true whenever i listen to hyunsang im like WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS BOY?? imagine debuting with an ep titled “my poor lonely heart” AND EXPECTING PPL TO THINK UR FINE DIDJKS 😭😭 and if you watch any live performances or his covers HIS EYES LOOK SO SAD WHILE HE SINGS LIKE HE COULD CRY AT ANY MOMENT ☹️☹️☹️ so literally when he smiles I melt so much cause I’m not used to it anyway he’s so cute and I love him and his emo music and pretty voice 🥹🥹
yeah I feel it a lot lately cause I always want to be nice to everyone especially if they talk to me on my blog but if we don’t click after a bit of talking I feel awkward 😭😭😭 and they’ll keep messaging me and then idk what to do cause the conversations are literally like “hi hru” “I’m good wbu” AND THATS IT 💀💀💀 damn that must suck I’m sorry that’s a thing 😭😭 it’s even harder when it’s a friend group situation cause you can’t just stop talking to one person if they still have connections to all your other friends and you also can’t bring it up with your other friends cause they won’t see the problem :( but don’t worry our convos have been anything but dry since you first sent me an ask 🥹🥹 I love talking abt lucy or anything else with you I could do it all day lmao
I’m doing pretty good!! I have my first piano lesson in like 2 days.. I’m really nervous for it because it’s my first one in over a year since I took a break and it’s with a new teacher. I had lessons with her for a bit in 2020 but they were mostly over zoom because of covid. these ones are in person and I haven’t had in person lessons since 2019 🧍♀️ I also haven’t practiced piano since last year when I was taking lessons and even then I feel like I didn’t practice at all between lessons cause I was losing motivation.. so realistically I probably haven’t practiced properly and consistently for 2 years fml 😭😭 but hopefully everything will go well. I’m hoping I’ll like this teacher again I don’t really remember having an opinion on her when I had her 4 years ago, but I remember switching back to my old piano teacher who had moved to England since I was doing online lessons anyway. I’ve had her for around 6 years total so I’m very comfortable with her she’s basically made me the pianist I am today lol. but I think in person lessons would be beneficial which is why I’m trying this out instead.
I have nothing to help you about the jealousy but I did get the group photo back recently (kinda sad they didn’t give us 2 cause we did take 2 and I was so nervous when the first pic was taken that I didn’t have a pose and sangyeop was telling me that he was gonna do a flower pose and I didn’t know wtf a flower pose was until a day later when it clicked in my head LKSJSKS) but I am the one w the pink heart and yes I was RIGHT next to sangyeop and wonsang aka my bias and wrecker skdjsksk how did I survive
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sniffs moda u wrote me an essay.
tldr: if you don't read me and moda crying at one another at least look at their cute doodle at the end of their essay.... it's so cute.... despite... well you know. i'm gonna hang in on my wall.
AS MUCH AS I WOULD LOVE TO CALL THIS FIC MY MAGNUM OPUS IT IS NOT A FIC I WOULD WRITE NORMALLY. lmao in any sense of the word. time loop. no romance. gojo... but i think this would be the most memorable since time loop searing itself into ur brain (yours and mine especially)
BUT YES. i am an advocate for the strong opening!! i mentioned it before, but it is my personal belief that you must start strong. as someone who generally decides in the first few paragraphs if i want to read something or not... i feel like they are the most important parts of any particular work.
buT YEAH. i was very meticulous in most... most of my details LMAOO. beef has told me in the past that a good story has good foreshadowing and like i get really... giving a reader a good shock, but i think it's very satisfying for readers to like, figure stuff out. and the thing with the magical girl was put there expressly to give readers an early hint about what gojo basically spells out for them later.
BUT YEAH I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT IT TOO and with the hussle and bustle of everything, especially in earlier loops where things are insanely chaotic, there were definitely incidents where reader was probably touching someone else at the time of death. but the consistent looping needs consistent touching.... hehe....
AND YES. SINISTER COUNTING. that's on purpose. it echoes into the repetitive lines, well, mostly repetitive. i made jumps just because i feel like the higher the number went, the higher the stakes felt, ya know? but yes reader needs therapy soooo bad.
AND THANKS AHAHA. i was honestly a little concerned that reader came off as.... too composed. but it's as you say, they are very good at compartmentalizing their feelings in addition to approaching the situation in a very pragmatic way. that being said, there were definitely loops off screen where they were just... completely bsod'd. i didn't write those in because i didn't feel they'd really add to the story. HAHA. tho i guess maybe one sprinkled in would have been good.
i think that they were. fairly well adjusted, i actually haven't really given too much thought to what kind of life they were living prior to this.... time to think about that and hand off more crumbs to ari lmaoo.
aH YES. that line, and then the other shounen battle manga lines... very intentional on my part. me, as the writer, poking fun at the irony of the situations HAHA my own personal copium.
EVEN IF U HAVEN'T SEEN DA EPISODES... i know u have seen the gifs. and for someone who says it ain't about gojo grinding his gojussy on jogo's arm you certainly bring it up a LOT.
ALSO LISTEN. i think it can be agreed that he is supposed to be a good looking guy. reader just acknowledges that, and as you said, that's their copium. actually the... morbid entrancement is one of things i really wanted in this fic and what, in my mind, links it to it's spirtual prequels (nier fic and another fic i wrote a long time ago in which both readers were also entranced by a very handsome man committing atrocities)
and right??? HE IS FULL NAMED SO MANY TIMES IN THIS FIC. but it doesn't feel quite right to call him gojo for them i think. a little too familiar, even tho it happens later on.
yes... it is evil but i must hammer the despair down.
but yes!! their memory is good. they are focused. they are in the zone. they got amazing grades in school LMAOOO.
you say it's the only time loop fic you'll read but what if i wrote another? /j BUT YES. they are a determinator!!! strong willed!!! precious baby!!! but their friends are very precious to them. makes me think i should do something to their parents in their backstory. :D
BUT YES!!! DA ESCAPE. too bad about it tho. lmao.
ALSO YES THE NO MUSCLE!! very unfair you know? they are getting smarter.... or maybe smarter... ahaha...
i feel like.... the last bit of that scene with kenny is very heartbreaking in a lot of ways because the resignation... the realization that they about to be killed with intention. :'D
ALSO I THINK IT'S UNFAIR TO CALL ME A GOJO FUCKER FOR READER BEING OVERWHELMED BY HIM LOOKING AT THEM it wasn't for hornky reasons but more 'is this real???' reasons sniffs... so mean to me.
it was my intent for the mochi receipt scene to be funny!!! a moment of levity if you will since the majority of this fic is so heavy and like, i guess pretty representative of how his presence is really the turning point for everything....
but YEAHHHH reader blasting that barrier hehe.... as the deserve a little destruction as a treat.
AND YESSS THAT LINE... the one you mentioned before... hehe... it's a good onee... but yes... i feel like since 1) reader has gone through the wringer and is very desperate and 2) they're kind of an outsider to the situation they're not going to try and be delicate about what's going on. i think that kind of directness really gets to gojo.
ALSO BECOME GOJO FUCKER MODA AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
gojo did not know jogo's name i think, but reader did tell him what it was. i rewrote their explanation so many times because i wanted them to be concise but they were also... not amazing at it at first LMAOO.
happy ending? maybe (actually moda.... they didn't really save anyone at the station itself, but their actions did trickle down so that ultimately the lives of others (namely nanami and the haseba twins) were saved. BUT i think they would have been happier if that fool didn't open the box right back up HAHAHAHA.
but thank you moda, truly, like, thank you for being my cheerleader during the whole writing process of this fic, from listening to me ramble about it, to listening to me read it multiple times in my attempts to push myself to finish. your support helped me finish this fic!!!! even if u and pika were trying to tell me that two could fic in the box and they could boink weeps.
i hope u look forward to what happens to this reader next hehehehehehehehee.
beyond the unending night (reader + satoru gojo)
notes: it's finally here. the long awaited halloween fic. yes, i know it's march, but i did start working on it in september. haha. there's so much i could say, but i will leave it at that this fic is, in every sense, a fic that i would not normally write. and yet here we are.
contains: f!reader (no physical description or gendered language is used), no explicit romantic pairing (though you don't have to look hard to find the reader x gojo implications), major character death (played with), semi-graphic depictions of death, blood and violence, minor suicide ideation, canon retelling (lines of dialogue are pulled from the jjk english dub because i'm a dirty dub watcher). opening poem is from higurashi no naku koro ni (minagoroshi-hen). fic title is from giga's beyond the way.
please note that this is a time loop fic and, by nature contains repeating scenes (particularly from canon). please do not read this fic if you do not like that sort of thing.
wc: 21,883 read on ao3 (account required) || playlist
Please tell me what happened in this night. It's like the cat inside the box.
Please tell me what happened in this night. You don't know if the cat in the box is dead or alive. Please tell me what happened in this night. The cat in the box was dead.
The first time, it is instant— you don’t even know what’s happening.
The second, it is by flame, but you barely realize it, barely feel it— a second of mind numbing heat before nothing.
The third time, it is something slicing across your throat; you see the blood spilling everywhere, then the pain follows— a moment of pure agony before nothing.
The fourth time you realize what’s going on; what’s really going on.
You realize you’ve been dying.
You think your head is going to explode.
At first, you think it’s because the subway platform is crowded, insanely so— there are hundreds of people shoved into this space alongside you, packed like sardines in a can. You’ve never been one for crowds, but it’s the reality of things when you live in Tokyo. For the most part, you’ve learned to accept it, but even this crowd is a little much and you wish you hadn’t listened to your friends when they said you should go party in Shibuya for Halloween; you don’t even like partying.
There’s a sharp pain in your temple followed by a thought so loud that it feels like someone is screaming it at you through a megaphone positioned right next to your ear.
It’s the night of October 31, 2018— Halloween in Shibuya.
For the eighth time.
Before you can even question the thought, images flash in your mind’s eye, blurry at first before they come into focus. The platform gates open. Chaos ensues. People dropping onto the subway tracks— spontaneously bursting into flame— their heads, necks sliced off, stomachs cut open—
Bile rapidly builds up in your throat, and you clamp your jaw shut, trying to force it down. Not here. Not now. You try to focus on something else, anything else happening outside of your brain. There’s a pair next to you musing about the people standing on the subway tracks, wondering what the two (the four?) of them are talking about. You blink back tears as you look. You can only see two: a freakishly tall man with white hair dressed in all black, and another man, dressed in strange, yet more traditional looking garb. Are those costumes too? You don’t have a lot of time to think about it as another image forces its way into your brain.
Your corpse— lifeless on the ground.
Your corpse— burning to ash.
Your corpse— bleeding out.
You can’t hold it in any more. Every fiber in your being screams at you to get away from the subway tracks, but instead you rush toward them, shoving people left and right as your hands desperately reach the stability of the gate. You grip it like a lifeline as you retch over the side of it, the contents of your stomach spilling all over the subway tracks.
There’s a quiet murmur of disgust behind you but you can’t be bothered to respond. You need to get out of here. You need to leave. You need to do it before—
The gates open and the crowd starts to move like a tidal wave, pushing and shoving their way through the gate. You’re swept away, vomit long forgotten as you and a few dozen others tumble onto the railway.
Alarm bells go off in your brain, loud and deafening. A voice in the back of your head screams for you to get off the track! Get off the track now before—
The platform erupts into a cacophony of screams, drenched in horror, saturated in fear. You are surrounded by people, by corpses— beheaded, sliced open, bursting into flames.
Your terror roots you to the ground as the carnage ensues around you. It’s only when another person, another corpse, dressed in a magical girl costume collides with your body that you can finally move. But it’s too late, you realize, despaired and helpless, as your bodies fall to the ground.
It’s too late.
You die an eighth time.
You think your chest is going to explode.
At first, you think it’s because it’s so hard to breathe, frustratingly so— there are hundreds of people squeezed into this space alongside you, packed like cattle for slaughter. You've never been one for crowds, but it’s the reality of things when you’re in Shibuya. For the most part, you’ve come to accept it, but this crowd is way too much and you wish you had just stayed home and ordered a pizza; though honestly, the thought of pizza kind of makes you sick.
There’s a dull throbbing in your forehead, followed by a thought so loud that it feels like someone’s hollering at you from a loudspeaker that’s been installed in your brain.
It’s the night of October 31, 2018— Halloween in Shibuya.
You think it's the ninth time now.
Behind you, you hear a woman screaming, her voice crazed and terrified. You turn your head automatically to look at her and when you see her you realize you recognize her yellow and white magical girl costume. You can say with certainty that you’ve never seen her before and yet—
Before you can ruminate more on it, images— memories assault your mind’s eye with a clarity that is absolutely sickening. That woman colliding into you, your bodies slamming into the subway tracks before you both— Your stomach churns violently,
and you feel like you’re going to puke, but you force it down— can't afford to right now. Instead, you make your way over to the woman.
Her head is in her hands as she mutters over and over again about how everyone is going to die. People around her figure that being stuck in here with the crowd has probably gotten to her. You, however, know better.
“...hey,” you say softly.
Her muttering comes to an abrupt halt and slowly she raises her head to look at you. There’s a flash of recognition in her eyes and she grabs you violently by the shoulders. “You! You know, don’t you? That we’re going to die?”
If it weren’t for the fact that you have indeed experienced death here eight times already, then you would have thought she’s lost her mind. Slowly, you nod and she seems relieved by it, her grip on you loosening.
You can’t help but feel a little relieved too— glad to know that you’re not the only one experiencing this nightmare. There’s a voice in the back of your mind that’s confused though. Why is she only remembering now? But then again, it took you a few times before you realized yourself.
Around you people start to gasp, and you glance back toward the railway to see an abnormally tall man with white hair and dressed in all black jump down from the atrium onto the railway. He lands rather gracefully for someone who jumped at least one floor and starts to converse with the other three people (you think they're people— two of them are in some pretty wild costumes) on the track.
Wait. Isn’t it supposed to be just two people: the tall man and the one in the traditional clothes? Where did the other two come from?
“We have to get out of here,” the woman says. “Before they kill us.”
Her grip shifts from your shoulders to your arms and she starts to shove at everyone around you, trying to force her way through. She seems to know, just as well as you do, that any second now the gates will open and the crowd will start spilling onto the railway, littering the tracks with bodies and ash. Neither of you can let yourselves get swept up with the rest. If you do and you end up on those tracks, you’re as good as dead.
People move aside at a snail's pace, many of them too focused on trying to see what is going on on the subway tracks. This isn't good. You need to move faster or else—
The collective sound of the gates opening echoes in your head, a metallic hiss that makes your stomach fold into itself. Before either of you can stop yourselves, you both whip your heads back to look, to confirm, but it’s a mistake.
The briefest lapse in attention is enough to pull you both into the current of people, and try as you might to fight against it, the crowd splits you and the woman apart as it swallows you both whole. You’re both spat onto the tracks at the edge of the platform and your head collides with the metal rails of the track. It feels like your skull is about to crack in two, and it takes every fiber in your being to scramble to your feet. You're close enough to the platform that if you can just climb up it, then you'll be—
“Help! Help!”
It’s the woman’s voice. You turn to see that she ended up a couple meters away from you. She’s staring at you, eyes brimming with fear filled tears as she extends her hand in your direction. You take a step toward her, reaching out.
And then, her entire body is engulfed in flames, the skirt of her magical girl costume a ring of fiery death around her.
Her blood curdling scream is the only thing you can hear, her burning flesh, the only thing you can see. You don’t know what to do.
You can’t save her.
There's something touching your back. You can barely feel the pressure, but it's hot, scorching hot, mind numbingly hot, painfully hothothot.
You know this sensation. You have felt it before. The scent of burning cloth, burning hair, burning flesh clogs your nostrils. It's too late, you realize, helpless, despaired as the flames eat at your body— your soon to be corpse.
It's too late.
You die a ninth time.
It’s October 31, 2018— Halloween in Shibuya.
This is the tenth time.
Your head hurts, but you ignore it. There’s something more important that you need to attend to. You immediately make your way to the woman you met during your last round, the one you watched burn to death. Her costume is still pristine, unmarred by fire and death.
For now.
She’s not screaming this time and while there’s a little voice in the back of your mind that’s concerned by this, you try to ignore it.
“Um, excuse me?” you say when she doesn’t acknowledge you as you approach.
The woman turns to look at you. You’re taken aback by the distinct lack of recognition and it feels almost as if the woman you encountered previously and the one before you now are two separate people. In a way, they technically are.
“Do I… know you?” she finally asks when you don’t say anything.
Your mouth is dry. How do you even answer that? You don’t know her. You just watched her die twice. You know her. She begged you for help. You couldn’t save her.
If you explain all of this you know she’s just going to think you’ve lost your mind. Maybe you already have— you’ve died nine times after all.
You give her a weak smile. “I… just wanted to tell you that you think your costume looks great.”
She blinks, taken aback by your words. There’s no doubt that she wasn’t expecting you to say that. It’s the truth though, her costume is nice; she’s dressed up as a character from a magical girl anime that was popular a couple years ago.
“Thank you! I made it myself!” The woman breaks out into a genuine smile and your heart hurts. In a few moments she’ll die and the costume she worked so hard to make will be nothing but ash on the subway tracks.
“Sorry,” you blurt out before you can stop yourself.
“For?”
For watching her die. For not being able to save her.“...I just kind of came up to you all of a sudden…”
She laughs. “It’s okay.”
It’s not.
You consider telling her that she should try to move. That if she stays here she will die. You don’t want her to die. Again. You can still hear her screaming in your ears as she burned to death. You want to tell her.
You don’t.
“Stay safe, okay?” you say. It almost sounds like you’re begging.
She gives you another smile, kind and gentle and you think you’re far too undeserving of it for not telling her what fate will soon befall her. “You too.”
“I’ll try,” you say and move away from the woman just as the gates open and the crowd surges toward the railway. You do not fight it as you are swept up into the crowd and despite what you said, you do not try, this time, to stay safe.
You die for the tenth time.
It’s October 31, 2018— Halloween in Shibuya.
This is the fourteenth time.
There’s a slight ache in your head, but it’s subtle enough that you can ignore it. The pain you feel lessens with each round and you think it’s a sign that your body no longer feels the need to remind you of the precarious situation that you’re in.
Or maybe you are just becoming numb to everything: your death, the death of the people around you, the death of the woman in the magical girl costume—
You try not to think about it too much as you reach into your bag to check the time on your phone: 8:37PM. There’s not a lot of time: you need to move.
At the very end of your last attempt to escape this nightmare you realized something. You need to know exactly what is going on around you so you can plan accordingly: where to not stand, where to not go. Up until now, you’ve relied almost solely on the knowledge gained from your previous failures to try and survive, but obviously it’s not enough to keep you alive. You’re not sure why you didn’t realize this earlier. The panic, maybe? The fear?
Maybe you really are becoming numb to all this.
Unlike previous iterations, this time you elect to move closer to the gate, positioning yourself somewhere against it where you’re unlikely to be pushed off the platform in a couple minutes when they open. You take great care to place yourself where you can see the ones responsible for the slaughter very clearly. At the beginning, you could only see one, the one who looks the most human, but with each repetition, the other two have become more and more clear. You wonder why. You don’t have time to think about it.
Murmurs nearby alert you to the arrival of the fourth major player involved in the night’s events. You look up and see the white haired man dressed in all black descending upon the platform like an angel from the heavens. This is your first time really looking at him and you realize there’s something almost inhumanly attractive about him. You can’t quite put your finger on it, but it occurs to you that you shouldn’t even try; you don’t have the time to be drooling over some handsome stranger.
You’ve naturally never taken the time to try and listen to whatever the conversation the man and his opponents have before all hell breaks loose on the platform, but you try and lean closer to listen. It’s hard to hear over the dozens of conversations going on behind you, but you try anyway. There might be a clue to what’s actually going on— or better yet, a clue on how to get out of it.
It’s obvious that you’re missing context from what bits of the conversation you do manage to hear, but honestly it all sounds like stuff out of a shounen battle manga. There is one part of the exchange that you manage to hear with a startling sort of clarity. It feels almost as if your heart stops beating as your blood turns ice cold in your veins.
“If I run away, you’re just gonna kill everyone here, right?” the man in black asks.
There’s a pause, and if your heart was still beating it’d be long enough for just four heartbeats.
“If you run away?” The monster with cane repeats, the sadistic grin spreading wide across its features, displaying its charcoal black teeth. The gravelly sound of its voice sets fire to the blood in your veins, your stilled heart thumping wildly, in fear, in anticipation. Soon. It’s happening soon. You brace yourself. “We’re going to do that even if you don’t!”
You die a fourteenth time.
It’s October 31, 2018— Halloween in Shibuya.
This is the seventeenth time now.
Things are going surprisingly well, even as the people around you tumble onto the tracks. You manage to hold on, desperation keeping you from falling into the abyss. This is good, you tell yourself, despite the fact that it’s not the first time you’ve achieved this. Every little victory is worth celebrating, but you have to remain vigilant. This is yet another information gathering loop, and while you know that maybe this time you’ll be lucky and live, there’s still a chance, a big one, at that, that you will die again.
You have to make the most of each and every death.
It’s such a morbid thought, but the ends justify the means, or so you tell yourself. If you have to die a few times to make it out of this unending nightmare, then so be it.
The spot you’re in is a good vantage point; it’s easier to see everything happening below you. It’s so good that it’s actually sickening. You watch as the monster with the cane and one with what looks like branches for eyes slaughter the people on the track, mowing them down, setting them aflame. In another life, in another many lives, that was you down there, and for what feels like the first time in forever, you feel like you’re going to be sick. You feel like, at some point, you likened the scene before you to some kind of shounen battle manga, but you think that was wrong.
This is borderline horror.
Everything plays out before you like a scene out of an action horror flick. If you didn’t know better, you’d think you were just an extra on set, but you know the reality is that you’re just an extra to whatever phantasmal battle is taking place in front of you. The monsters and the strangely dressed man all try to attack the man in black, but he manages to block every hit effortlessly, as if he is protected by some sort of invisible barrier. When it seems the two monsters are about to hit him, he merely jumps out of the way and the two monsters seem to collide, the force of their combined strength sending a gust of air throughout the crowd. The man in black neatly lands on a nearby platform half wall and says something about curse users, whatever those are, to the monsters, before he starts to mock them, pulling down his strange blindfold in the process.
And this, you’ve found, is where you start to get in trouble.
You clearly remember thinking, at some point, previously, that there was something attractive about this man. You still don’t know what it is. You haven’t had the time to try and figure it out, but there is one thing that you do know: you can’t keep your eyes off of him.
He drops back down onto the tracks, antagonizing his opponents in an arrogant tone as he approaches. When he comes to a stop between the two monsters, the second round of their fight begins. They try to hit him, but he dodges still, gracefully, fluidly, like the three of them are embroiled in some sort of passionate, yet violent dance.
You cannot turn your eyes away as he cruelly rips off one of the arms of the one-eyed monster.
You cannot turn your eyes away as he brutally kicks the branch-eyed monster in the abdomen, sending them flying to the other side of the platform.
You cannot turn your eyes away as he effortlessly hurls the one-eyed, now one-armed monster in the same direction, sending them smashing into the wall.
Only when the man in black seems to fly to the other side is the spell over you seemingly broken. Still, your eyes give chase, and your body too, rushing from one side of the platform to the other. You can’t lose sight of this fight, you tell yourself, settling in a spot you recall being safe during your last round. Doing so could mean another death, another loop, another October 31.
You watch as the man in black acrobatically dodges what looks to be vines or roots that the monster with branches for eyes seems to have summoned from the depths of the Tokyo metro. He lands on the monster’s shoulders, balancing on them as he uses its branch-eyes for leverage. The look in the man’s eyes is so crazed that you can see it from where you’re standing. He says something to it and then—
With a feral and sadistic smile, he rips their eyes straight out of their skull.
Your heart is pounding wildly in your chest as you watch the fight unfold. It is horrifyingly, disgustingly violent, yet still you watch as people on the track are killed by the human-like person, blood raining down as their freshly beheaded skulls go flying into the air. He and the one-eyed monster launch their counter attacks against the man in black and the blowback is so intense the power goes out causing everyone to scream.
There’s a faint glow where the man in black is standing that starts to grow brighter and brighter. You can make out his form turning to face the wall, and it seems almost like he’s slammed the monster that had branches for eyes against it with some sort of telekinetic power. Despite the panic from the people around you, you manage to hear him, chuckling like a mad man as he draws closer and closer to the monster.
The one-eyed monster yells out a name, a name you think must belong to the man, but he doesn’t hear it. He doesn’t hear the one-eyed monster as he extends his hands out toward the eyeless monster, exerting some kind of force that you can’t really see. He doesn’t hear the one-eyed monster as the eyeless monster’s entire body is vaporized in a flash of blue light. He doesn’t hear the one-eyed monster, as the lights flicker back on revealing a smoking crater stained with purple blood where the eyeless monster once stood.
But you do.
Satoru Gojo.
You make sure to remember that.
It’s October 31, 2018— Halloween in Shibuya.
And this is the eighteenth time.
You watch as the man called Satoru Gojo stalks through the crowd of people on the subway tracks, chasing after the one-eyed fire monster. It throws people at him, in a clear attempt to slow him down.
It does not work.
Satoru Gojo climbs back onto the platform in a way that you can only describe as inhuman, and the people nearby shriek and move away from him, out of terror, out of fear. You, on the other hand, draw closer, refusing to lose sight of him.
He is relentless in his pursuit of the one-eyed monster. It continues to throw person after person at him, but he does not stop and the people float there, suspended in midair before they are gently lowered to the ground by some unseen force and scramble away.
No one dares get close to Satoru Gojo, everyone on the platform seems to know that doing so means certain death, yourself included. But you still feel the need to keep an eye on him. The monster and the strangely dressed man are focusing more on him than the crowd— anyone in between is just collateral damage.
But not you.
Especially since you’ve made it this far— you’ve never made it this far before.
A voice echoes throughout the platform; you realize it’s the automated announcement.
An eight car train is pulling in. Please wait behind the yellow line.
You can hear everyone’s relief coming from all sides. The train is coming! The train is coming! A ripple of hope makes its way throughout the crowd. With the train comes the chance to get off the platform and the senseless violence that’s been happening here. Some of the people around you are talking excitedly and others are running toward the gates, toeing the yellow line they’ve been instructed to wait behind. And you, you should be excited, you should be hopeful.
All you feel is dread.
It eats at your stomach, at your chest, at your mind. Clawing and gnawing at you in a way that leaves you paralyzed on the platform. There’s something wrong here. You can’t be sure because you’ve never made it this far, never survived long enough for the train to come, but something is just not right.
No.
You must be paranoid. The train coming is a good thing. It has to be a good thing. You are just paranoid. It’s normal. It’s natural. Dying seventeen times would do that to anyone— rob them of hope, condemn them to an existence full of fear.
It is not lost on you that the thought of dying more than once, much less, dying seventeen times is not normal or natural in the very slightest.
But you need hope, you crave it, wildly, desperately. The hope of freedom, of escape is the only thing getting you through this unending nightmare. Every time you die, every time you wake, it is with the hope that maybe, just maybe this iteration will be different, maybe this one will be the one where you make it out, make it back to your friends who must be waiting for you, make it back home where you can be safe and sound. You need the hope to keep going. Because without hope, what will you have left?
The train screeches as it pulls into the station and the people around you laugh in both disbelief and relief. They start to push and shove toward it, fighting to be able to board because there’s no way everyone here will be able to get on an eight car train and being left behind at this point is practically synonymous with death. Unable to decide if you believe in the train as a symbol of hope or a new layer of fear, you are pushed along with the crowd toward it.
The doors of the train cars slide open and the current passengers all rush off as they disembark. You as well as everyone else on the platform can see with a horrifying clarity that the train is filled to the brim with monsters. Monsters that reach out and grab anyone their hands can reach. The woman to your left. The person to your right.
You.
Hope is gone.
What do you have left?
You die for the eighteenth time.
It’s October 31, 2018— Halloween in Shibuya.
This is probably the twenty-sixth time now.
If there is anything this entire ordeal has taught you, it is that you are resilient. Whether it is some innate trait that you never had any reason to uncover before or just a byproduct of being trapped in an unending cycle of being dead and not dead, you don't know. What you do know, though, is that even if you no longer have hope, you at least have your resilience.
Whether you want it or not.
You check the time. It’s 8:35PM. Something flickers in your chest, like a faint light in a sea of darkness, but you ignore it. You don’t have time right now.
With a nimbleness born from your previous failures, you weave your way through the crowd. You’ve done this enough times to know where the gaps are— who will yield and who won’t. Your destination is the escalator that leads off the platform and up to a higher part of the station. You’d noticed previously that the escalator along with every other entrance onto the platform will eventually be blocked by vines or roots of some sort (the work of the branch-eyed monster probably). It’s not a perfect plan because you don’t know what happens on the other side, but whatever it is has to be better than whatever is happening on the side that you’ve been on.
You’d tried to get to the stairs during your last two rounds, but you’d just missed it. You hadn’t been fast enough and had gotten caged and slaughtered along with the rest. But this time, this time you have more time. It’s just one minute, but it’s enough. You know it is.
The flickering in your heart grows stronger. Hope. You try not to pay attention to it— you don’t want to be disappointed yet again. But you want to so badly. A voice in the back of your mind tells you to focus on the good, tells you that if there was truly no way out of this endless nightmare, then why would you get more and more time with each round to escape your fate?
With that thought in mind, you break out into a run, recklessly rushing through the crowd, shoving anyone who will not yield to the side. Out of the corner of your eye you can see the stark white of Satoru Gojo’s hair as he descends upon the platform.
You need to get up those stairs.
Now.
If you remember correctly, the roots and vines don’t close off the area the moment he touches down, but a little after they start talking, so you think there is probably some time, but you can’t leave it to chance.
The stairs are packed, and for some reason no one is moving. The escalator right next to it is just as full and the power doesn’t seem to be working. You don’t have time for this. You clamber onto the escalator’s rubber handrail, ignoring the weird feeling that passes through your body as you do so. You don’t have the time to worry about whatever that is. The people around you start exclaiming around you, but you don’t care, you don’t listen. You wobble as you try to balance yourself and when you think you’re steady you try to run.
But you trip.
And you die for the twenty-sixth time.
It’s October 31, 2018— Halloween in Shibuya.
This marks the thirtieth time.
And you have, finally, finally made it up the escalator, up the stairs with barely a second to spare. You pause, glancing back as the roots or vines or whatever the hell they are seal off the entrance to the platform. You notice that the area where the plants come down is actually fairly clear, despite the crowd. It seems weird, but you don’t dwell on it.
A strange feeling envelops your entire body and your legs turn into jelly. As you sink to the floor, you realize what you’re feeling is relief as all the tension, maybe thirty iterations of Halloween 2018 worth, seeps from your being. You don't remember the last time you felt anything other than fear and dread; it’s weird, but not unwelcome.
That voice in the back of your mind tells you that you can't relax just yet: October 31st isn’t over. Even though you have repeated this night again and again, burning the events that play out on the platform into your memory, you do not know a single thing that happens over here. It would be smart to scope everything out.
Legs still shaky, you rise to your feet and start walking. You think it’s probably for the best to try and head up to the surface and you make your way up to the next floor.
It’s packed with people here too, but relatively peaceful, especially when you compare it to the pandemonium taking place beneath your feet. Still, you can make out the undeniable hum of displeasure resonating throughout the crowd. People complaining about how uncomfortable their costumes are, people complaining about how much they want to go home, people complaining about how much their nights have been ruined because they couldn’t meet up with their friends and—
A thought hits you like an eight car train.
You were supposed to meet up with your friends.
That’s why you were on the platform in the first place— you were waiting for them to arrive, but then the trains stopped working, and people just started pouring into the station out of seemingly nowhere (you think you heard some people say they’d come from the crossing?). Soon after that is when everything went to shit.
You check your phone, though, for once it’s not to look at the time (8:56PM). Instead, you open LINE to check your friends’ group chat. There’s no signal here, for whatever reason, so if there are any new messages, you haven’t received them. The last one was from Kei, mentioning he was enroute, but as far as you know, you’re the only one who made it to Shibuya before the trains stopped.
Did one of them maybe make it here though? Surely, you would have run into them if—
The image of a woman in a magical girl costume fills your vision, burning to death before your very eyes as her screams echo in your ears. It is the first time in what feels like forever that you’ve thought about her and your stomach churns violently. You couldn’t help her, you can’t even help yourself, so how could you even expect to do the same for your friends if they were here? The mere thought of having to watch them die over and over is almost enough to send you over the edge. You don’t know if you could do it.
Would you even have a choice?
No. You can't think like that. You have choices. You've had choices. If you didn’t then, you would still be down below, among the fire and brimstone. Dying, if not dead already. However, instead, you are up here, where, for the moment, it is quiet and peaceful.
That thought, in of itself, is enough to give you a shred of solace, a glimmer of hope.
You take a deep breath and fiddle with your phone a little more, changing your lock screen to a picture you and your friends took at a photo booth not too long ago. The four of you are huddled together, faces squished as if you're all struggling to fit in the frame, despite there being plenty of room. You're mid-laugh because it's the first time you've been in a photo booth in years, Mio and Shin are grinning mischievously and finally, Kei is smiling, but only just slightly, the embarrassment clear on his face. It's probably only been a few months since you all took this picture, but the fact that it feels like it's been years makes your heart ache.
You press your forehead to the screen, like a prayer, like a promise.
You will make it out of this nightmare.
No matter what.
A shrill scream yanks you from your thoughts and you are instantly on your feet, alert as your eyes flit around frantically to identify the source. It doesn't take long for you to find it and when you do, you think you might have stumbled upon a new layer of horror to this nightmare.
It’s not the corpse, dangling by a noose, that terrifies you— by now you’ve seen dozens upon dozens of dead bodies that the sight of just one more doesn’t faze you in the slightest. The thing that’s the most mortifying, that’s the most disturbing is that right next to where the body is tied are two girls, two teenage girls still dressed in their school uniforms.
You can accept monsters and weirdly dressed men being responsible for the carnage tonight, but children too? Both girls look like they’re barely in high school and try as you might to rationalize things, to chalk it up to coincidence, you cannot ignore the ominous energy radiating from them.
The very notion that these two children could have killed someone here is a hard pill to swallow, but so is the fact that you’ve died.
And you’ve had to swallow that pill thirty times now, so what’s once more?
“Listen up!” one of the girls yells over the crowd, but she is mostly ignored; you don’t think everyone here has noticed her and the corpse dangling from the rafters. She scowls and turns to the other girl and says something quietly to her. The other girl nods and almost instantly she’s stringing up another person, another example. You want to look away so badly, and yet you cannot bring yourself to and you watch the poor soul choke to death.
“I said listen, you dumb monkeys!” the girl shouts, and this time she’s caught most of the crowd’s attention. “If you don’t want to end up like these two, you’ll listen to what we have to say!”
There is clear dissent among the crowd, people dismissive as they utter their disbelief. Some seem to think it’s a prank, but you know better. It takes two more examples before the crowd goes silent before the two high schoolers.
“About damn time!” The girl roars and then points toward the atrium, which is currently covered by roots and branches. “All of you move over there!”
You have a bad feeling about this.
Still, you comply; the girls have made it abundantly clear that failure to do so will result in death, though, at this point, you're almost certain this iteration is a bust and death is all but imminent. You try to keep positive— thinking you can at least gather information or, who knows, maybe there's a chance that this one is the one.
Yet when you step onto the mound of vines and branches that cover the atrium it feels as if you've crossed the threshold into hell. Your footing is stable… but for how long?
An eight car train is pulling in. Please wait behind the yellow line.
It's faint, but you can hear the announcement from below. The liquid in your stomach curdles at the sound as you recall the train and, in particular, what is on board. Soon enough, those monsters will be swarming the platform, massacring everyone in reach, guzzling down their blood, feasting on their flesh—
It dawns on you that the people on the platform are the monsters' first course.
And you, and those around you here in the shrubbery, are the second.
As you realize this, the branches and vines disintegrate beneath your very feet and suddenly you are mid air— falling, falling into the abyss below.
You die for the thirtieth time.
It’s October 31, 2018— Halloween in Shibuya.
You've done this nearly sixty times now.
After countless failures, you've decided that you're just not going to go upstairs any more. No matter where you try to go, you still end up herded onto the death trap above the platform where you ultimately fall to your death. You've tried positioning yourself in the same spot, tried bracing yourself for the drop— but nothing seems to work: upon landing, assuming you manage to land without hurting yourself or dying in midair (which has happened a couple times) you get grabbed and killed by one of the monsters from the train. It's probably not impossible, you just don't have the physical prowess or reflexes for it.
If anything, you can try again later, but you sincerely hope you don't have to.
It's 8:32PM, and you have plenty of time to get to your chosen spot for this loop— it's close to the stairs, in the very center of the platform. Here, there's little risk of getting pushed off onto the tracks when the gates open. You'll probably have to move when the train comes, or even before (assuming you survive) to avoid the monsters, but you'll get to that when it's time.
You can't really see the fight once it breaks out after Satoru Gojo arrives, but you still try to keep track of it as best as you can. You see when he hurls both monsters across the platform and you're not sure if it's muscle memory or what but you have to fight the urge to move to the side and watch. It's been a while, yes, but you've seen the fight countless times before— it doesn't change. Satoru Gojo will give chase. He will rip the branches from the branch eyed monster's skull. He will use some kind of power to eviscerate them.
You don't need to watch, but there's something in you that wants to.
It doesn't make sense, you've seen it all before; if you're unlucky you'll see it all again.
The lights go out and people start screaming; Satoru Gojo is ending the life of that one monster. Soon enough he'll be back on the platform, in pursuit of the other. You think at that point it would be good to move, reposition yourself as far from the incoming train as possible.
When he rises from the tracks like a demon straight from hell, you realize it's the first time this loop that you've actually gotten a good look at him. You remind yourself, again, that this isn't the first time you've seen this man, this scene. You can't help but watch, but stare at Satoru Gojo as he stalks through the crowd in pursuit of his prey. His expression is an eerie sort of calm that's at odds with the acts of violence you've seen him commit— his eyes an unnaturally bright blue.
He's a terrifying sort of beauty and you can't help but be captivated by him.
An eight car train is pulling in. Please wait behind the yellow line.
The sound of the announcement sends your heartbeat into a frenzy, snapping you out of your little trance. The train is coming and you need to get moving. As you dart to the edge of the platform, the thought occurs to you that even if you avoid the initial wave of monsters, it's likely you will inevitably be caught by them and killed. It wouldn't be impossible for Satoru Gojo to turn his attention to them instead of the two he's currently facing, but he's just one man— can he truly defeat all those monsters?
You can see the train pulling in and you brace yourself, praying that it'll work out somehow.
The doors hiss open and the screaming starts again as the monsters come bursting out of the train, biting and mauling anyone they can get their hands on. Those who were lucky enough to not be at the front start to scramble away and the monsters give chase. Your body is taut, ready to try and dodge any that come your way.
Out of the corner of your eye you notice something moving through the air. A person? With blue hair? You take the risk to look— they're attacking Satoru Gojo. He tries to punch them but they fly away from him to dodge— disappearing into the crowd.
You hear a loud cracking sound over the cacophony of the crowd and your stomach twists; you know what that sound is. The roots above the atrium disintegrate and bodies from above start to rain down onto the platform.
And then, you're not sure what happens— it's so quick that you only manage to see what looks like an explosion of blood surrounding Satoru Gojo. Corpses litter the ground around him and even from here you can tell he is shaken by the carnage.
The monsters have finally reached where you're standing, and you duck under one as it lunges at you. Although it's big and scary, you realize it's moving kind of slow. Right after it another one comes at you and you take a side step to avoid it; this monster is kind of slow too.
Maybe you can do this.
As soon as you think that a strange feeling courses through you. Every hair on your body feels like it's standing on edge and the voice in your head is telling you to look at Satoru Gojo. You don't understand why because you think he's the least of your worries right now, but you do it anyway.
He's in some sort of stance, one hand raised to his face, fingers bent in some kind of gesture. There's some sort of aura, oppressive and frightening emanating from his form.
Satoru Gojo is doing something.
You just can't tell what.
It’s October 31, 2018— Halloween in Shibuya.
And you are utterly confused.
Barring your first few loops when you weren't fully aware of what was happening, you have very distinct memories of how each of your previous iterations of this night have gone— of each and every one of your deaths. But for your last round, the last thing you remember was feeling the immense power radiating from Satoru Gojo's body, but that's it.
You do not remember dying.
In fact, you don't think you did.
And yet, here you are again, back at the start: it's 8:32PM and the monsters and strangely dressed man are standing on the subway tracks waiting for the arrival of Satoru Gojo.
You don't understand what's going on; you didn't die but you're still stuck in this damn loop. Up until now, your death has served as the trigger to restart the loop. It's not impossible that maybe you suffered a quick and painless death but you're almost certain that isn't the case.
Something else must have happened.
Something having to do with Satoru Gojo.
You have to find out what. If you don't, you won't know how to avoid it, and if you can't do that, then you really might spend an eternity stuck in this nightmare. And so you take great care to repeat the steps of your last round. You need to make sure to survive to the same point you made it to last time.
Miraculously, you do.
The moment you feel that sensation again, a prickling sort of feeling that envelops your entire body, your eyes are on Satoru Gojo— trying to figure out what the hell he's doing. His eyes are crazed with a desperate kind of focus. You see his mouth move— he's saying something. A spell? A prayer? A curse?
You don't know.
You do know.
Your brain feels like it's going to explode.
Again.
It’s October 31, 2018— Halloween in Shibuya.
Again.
You do not know how many times it's been the night of Halloween in Shibuya: you stopped counting around the hundredth loop. It feels like it's been a while since then. Or maybe it hasn't? You don't know any more.
What you do know is that this night ends up going one of two ways before you are forced to repeat it. Either you die, in some way, shape or form or something happens just after nine that forces you to reset. You still don't know what it is exactly; you only know that Satoru Gojo is responsible for it.
You do prefer it to dying— it's far less painful.
But if anything, you wish you could just die permanently and never have to repeat this night ever again.
Unfortunately, you know better.
The only good thing you’ve noticed about all of this is that you really do seem to keep waking up earlier and earlier. The last time you checked, it was at around 8:30. It might take hundreds of thousands of loops, but eventually you’ll certainly wake up early enough to avoid this damn entire mess.
But by the time that happens… will your sanity still be intact? Will you really be able to go back to a normal day to day life after living the equivalent of hundreds of years, repeating the same night over and over again? You don’t even know how you’ve managed to stay sane all this time and as much as you want to believe you could do it…
There has to be a breaking point.
For both your mind and this time loop.
If you’re lucky, you’ll reach the latter first.
There’s a dull ache in your head that feels foreign yet familiar. Your mind is foggy, all your thoughts hazy as you try to recall what the word for this feeling is.
Groggy.
It feels as if you’ve woken up from a nap and you blink the sleepiness away from your eyes. When was the last time you took a nap? It’s been a while… You think you maybe tried once or twice, but you were too nervous, too on edge. Awake or asleep, it didn’t matter because, either way, you were doomed to repeat this nightmare.
As you think this, you realize that something is different.
You’re used to how the start of each loop feels like waking up suddenly and abruptly and it becomes clear to you that you haven’t looped. This is completely uncharted territory.
You need to find out what’s going on.
The first thing you notice is that it’s quiet. Almost eerily so, especially when the last thing you remember was screaming and chaos. You glance around you and find that it looks like all the monsters from the train are dead, the ground littered in their bloodstains and corpses. There were so many of them, you don’t know how someone could have wiped them out so quickly… Could it possibly have been Satoru Gojo’s doing?
More concerning than the complete eradication of the monsters is the fact that nearly everyone else on the platform is standing stock still, their mouths ajar with blank expressions on their faces. It’s almost as if their souls have completely vacated their bodies…
Were you like that too before you woke up?
You hear voices, and your body immediately goes tense as you turn your head in their direction. A little ways ahead of you, you see a man dressed as a monk conversing with the blue haired person from earlier and before them is—
Your heart nearly stops: it’s Satoru Gojo, restrained and on his knees.
Honestly, you can’t make heads or tails of the conversation they’re having; it’s more shounen battle manga nonsense. Satoru Gojo doesn’t seem to be enjoying their conversation either, and he interrupts them, clearly annoyed.
“Are we gonna do this or what?” he asks. “The view sucks and I’m just kinda bored.”
“I wanted to enjoy this sight for a little bit longer, but you are right,” the monk says. “I wouldn’t want anything to happen— gate, close.”
When he says that, Satoru Gojo’s restraints move, the weirdly shaped cubes at the ends of them closing in around him, trapping him in a giant red cube. It starts to shrink until it’s small enough to fit in the monk’s hand.
You gulp and hope they don’t notice that you’re awake. The fact that they haven’t slaughtered the rest of the people standing around you is a good sign, but you don’t want to find out what happens if they know you’re cognizant.
It’s not hard to play the part of a living statue, especially when you compare it to everything else you’ve had to suffer through on this night. You watch as the monk’s allies, the ones who had attacked everyone on the platform, wake up, but before they can do or say anything, the box holding Satoru Gojo slips through the monk’s fingers and makes a dent in the concrete. The look on the monk’s face makes it clear that it’s a problem he wasn’t expecting.
You don’t know a damn thing about Satoru Gojo, but you feel like this kind of thing is the norm for him.
The blue haired person suddenly looks in your direction and you nearly stop breathing. Have they noticed you? It takes everything in you to keep perfectly still, in hopes that maybe they didn't, that maybe they’re looking at something else. They raise their arm and it extends, their hand acting like some kind of projectile. You almost shut your eyes and brace yourself for impact, but their hand flies upwards and hits something on the ceiling, destroying it.
Inwardly, you breathe a sigh of relief— you’re still safe.
For now.
You listen to their following conversation and while you still don’t fully understand everything, it’s clear they’re talking about what to do next since they’ve taken care of Satoru Gojo. Something having to do with someone named Yuji Itadori? The group seems split on what to do about him but it’s clear he’s their next target.
Eventually, everyone but the monk (you heard the blue haired person, who is apparently named Mahito, call him Geto?) runs off, probably to find this Yuji Itadori person. Once they’re gone, Geto speaks and, at first, you think he’s talking to you, but it becomes clear he’s addressing someone else. “Those cursed spirits are actually smarter than the two of you.”
“Give him back!” a voice hidden among the crowd hisses. Your blood runs cold at the sound. You recognize it; it’s one of the high school girls from the upper floor.
“We cooperated with you fully and kept dropping monkeys for you,” says another voice; it must be the other girl that was with her, the one who hung all those people.
“Now give us back Master Geto’s body like you promised!”
“Don’t toy with Master Geto any further than you have!”
You blink in confusion. Isn’t the monk named Geto? The way the girls are talking it sounds like they’re talking about someone else… Is it possible that the body is ‘Geto’ but the person they’re talking to is someone else possessing it? It sounds kind of crazy, but then again, so is every single thing you’ve experienced tonight.
Your suspicions concerning this ‘Geto’ are confirmed only seconds later as he says, “Now begone, or is it your desire to be killed by this body?”
One of the girls vows her revenge and you hear shuffling somewhere else in the crowd as they scurry away. Now you think it’s just you and whoever it is that’s puppeting Geto’s body. You see him plop down in front of the box (the prison realm, you think he’d called it) that’s holding Satoru Gojo.
“You can come out, you know,” he says after a while.
You freeze. The rest of the platform is completely silent. This time you think he might actually be talking to you.
“I know you’re there,” ‘Geto’ adds, his voice casual. “If you’re insistent on hiding, you should know that I’m not afraid of using whatever means necessary to smoke you out.”
Given everything his allies have done, there’s no doubt in your mind that he’s serious. You were hoping to hide out among the crowd until he decided to leave, but it looks like you won’t be able to now.
Looks like this loop is a bust after all.
Your heart starts to race as you weave your way through the crowd. In every single one of your loops, you were always treated like a bit character, never noticed or singled out by any of the major players of the night. Although this is your first time encountering this ‘Geto’ it’s clear to you that he’s involved with everything that’s happened here and honestly, you get the feeling he might actually be the mastermind behind the massacre.
That makes you even more nervous.
You come to a stop in the place where Satoru Gojo was once kneeling before he was put in that box. Now that you’re out in the open, ‘Geto’ looks you over with some sort of nonchalant curiosity.
“You’re…” he starts, sounding thoughtful, "not a sorcerer, are you?”
Sorcerer. You heard that term thrown around by him and his group a few times. It’s what they’ve been referring to their enemies as. It probably wouldn’t be smart to lie and say you are one; you get the feeling he’d see through your lie anyway. “I’m not.”
He hums. “How interesting.”
“...what do you mean?” you ask before you can help yourself.
“It’s just you have an abnormally large amount of cursed energy for a non-sorcerer,” he explains. “Though, I suppose that all just sounds like gibberish to you."
You nod and look down at the box lodged in the floor. It has eyes, big creepy looking eyes. "...are you going to do the same thing to me as you did to that man?"
He laughs, "...fortunately for you, the prison realm only holds one person at a time and I need him sealed away more than you."
"...does that mean you're going to leave him in there forever?"
"If I'm feeling nice, I might unseal him in a hundred years or so."
One hundred years? At this point, you've probably lived roughly that amount of time through your loops alone, but for Satoru Gojo… "Won't he die first?"
"Only if he decides to," 'Geto' says, looking completely and wholly unbothered. "Time doesn't doesn't flow in the box, so when I unseal him, he'll be the same as he was just now. Physically anyway. Who knows how deteriorated his mind will be after all that."
Time doesn't flow in the box.
The words echo in your mind over and over. Time doesn't flow in the box. In other words, that means time has stopped in the box, and if that's the case then—
"Anyway, rather than worry about him, shouldn't you be more worried about yourself?"
You look at 'Geto' and he's smiling at you, it's friendly, but ominous. There's no doubt what is going to happen next, though you had already resigned yourself to this iteration being a bust; it was only a matter of time.
Time doesn't flow in the box.
"I was thinking I might keep you around, even if you aren’t a sorcerer, your wealth of cursed energy would serve my plans well," he muses. "But… it would be too much trouble trying to teach you how to use it in time."
As he talks, you realize this is probably the first time your death is intentional— every other death you've suffered has just been a byproduct of the ongoing slaughter. You were just another casualty, a victim, never a target.
You're scared.
Even though you know that once he kills you, once you die, you'll just loop back to around 8:30 again. You'll be on the platform again. And you'll play out some sequence of events before you eventually die again. And again and again.
Time doesn't flow in the box.
"I'll be nice, though," 'Geto' says, raising a hand and another monster appears out of nowhere. You don’t even bother trying to figure out from where. It doesn’t matter, especially since this monster will surely be the one to end your life. "I'll make it painless."
"...I appreciate it," you say and close your eyes hoping that he's not lying about it.
Time doesn't flow in the box.
He didn't lie.
You die again.
It’s October 31, 2018— Halloween in Shibuya.
And you're trapped.
You don't know how and you don't know why, but you are stuck in a time loop— forced to suffer through the horrific events of the night before you die and begin it all again. It's been a long time since you stopped counting how many loops you've gone through, but if you had to guess, it's probably somewhere in the hundreds now.
You are so very tired.
But it doesn't stop. It won't stop no matter what you seem to do. You are stuck. You are trapped. You are doomed.
“Time doesn't flow in the box.”
Ever since that first loop where you heard whoever is possessing Geto's body say that, the words have been stuck in your head, playing on loop.
You finally realize why.
“Time doesn't flow in the box.”
It's 8:25PM when you wake up; that should be plenty of time.
You need to find Satoru Gojo.
After hundreds of loops you've come to a singular conclusion: you need to prevent him being sealed in the prison realm. You've witnessed it enough to know that you won't be able to do it alone; you'll need his cooperation.
You rush upstairs as fast as you can, ignoring the shiver that runs down your spine as you step onto the stairwell. According to your previous loops, Satoru Gojo arrives on the subway tracks at 8:40PM. With how crowded the upper floor is, you don’t know if you’ll have the time to intercept him and talk to him, but if you can at least figure out where to find him, then you can try and talk to him during a subsequent loop.
When you reach the fourth basement floor, however, you don’t know where you should even start. He’s pretty tall so you think you could spot him in the crowd, but… there are still so many people. It occurs to you that maybe it would be better to try and look from a higher vantage point so you head to the stairs that lead up to the third basement floor. You check your phone again. It’s 8:35PM; you need to hurry.
Luckily for you, you find him very easily on the third basement floor.
The only problem is that he’s in a hard to reach spot— squatting above a sign hanging over the crowd.
You check your phone again. It’s 8:38PM and he’s starting to move, presumably to meet with those waiting for him on the subway tracks. It’s good that you found him, but there’s no doubt about it.
You’re going to need more time.
The moment you wake up, you immediately bolt toward the stairs. It's taken many, many more loops, but you've finally brought the time you wake down to around 8:15. You're still not sure if it's enough time, but there's only one way to find out.
You barrel your way up to the next floor and zig zag through the crowd to get to the next flight of stairs. By the time you get to your destination, you're completely out of breath, your chest heaving as your lungs clamor for air. You’ve done this so many times, yet your body acts like it’s always the first. It sucks, but there’s nothing you can do about it. You slow to a brisk pace to catch your breath and check the time. It’s 8:27— a new record. Hopefully it’ll be enough.
The goal is to catch Satoru Gojo before he moves to his lookout point above the crowd. While not impossible, it would be difficult for you to follow him there. You eye the safety barricade that blocks off the area where he’ll be moving in just a few minutes warily.
Yes, getting over there would be extremely difficult.
You don’t want to think about it right now; you’ll deal with it when the time comes.
Especially since Satoru Gojo has now entered your field of vision.
Your heart starts to race at the sight of him and it feels like it’s beating a million times a second. There isn’t a lot of time. You need to talk to him, but your legs only wobble, your feet planted firmly to the ground. This is not good. You need to move. You need to move.
Finally, after what feels like both an instant and an eternity, your feet finally budge, propelling you in Satoru Gojo’s direction. The beating of your heart only grows louder as you make your way toward him, mingling with the single thought that’s echoing throughout your mind right now: will he even hear you out?
You need to make him.
“Excuse me!” The words nearly come out in a stutter as you realize that you are actually talking to Satoru Gojo. You have watched this man at a distance for so long that it almost felt like he wasn’t real, like he was just another fixture in this nightmare that you’ve been living for far too long. And yet, here he is, right in front of you, in the flesh.
And his attention is on you.
All sound stops: the crowd around you, the thoughts in your head, the beat of your heart. Even though you cannot see them through that blindfold of his, you know that Satoru Gojo’s eyes are on you and the thought of that, the knowledge of it is actually a little overwhelming. Your mouth is dry and suddenly you don’t know what to say, but you need to say something. You need to say something before he thinks maybe you bumped into him by accident and just walks away without a word.
“I need to talk to you!” The words just burst out from your mouth and something about it is just absolutely embarrassing. You’re not sure if it's desperation or the fact that you haven’t really talked to anyone other than the existence occupying Suguru Geto’s body in nearly forever.
Satoru Gojo’s lips slowly start to form a smile, “Oh, yeah?”
The sound of his voice makes your mind go blank. There’s something different about it right now; more playful, amused even. Maybe it’s because he’s talking to you, a harmless human being and not a monster trying to kill him. It’s almost kind of jarring, but you know, with certainty, what Satoru Gojo’s voice sounds like. And the fact that he’s actually talking to you right now has you kind of excited. You nod, doing your best to not show how thrilled you are that he’s not ignoring you.
He hums thoughtfully, “Sorry… but unfortunately I kind of have some business to attend to right now.”
“I—” You start to say that you know that he’s headed down to the platform below to fight with…Choso and Jogo, you think their names are— you don’t know the name of the monster with the branches for eyes. “It’s— it’s really important!”
Gojo tilts his head a little, clearly thinking. You should probably say something else, something to try and convince him to stay a little longer and hear you out, but your mind is both full and blank. Where do you start? From the beginning? Or do you start with what is most important? Maybe you should say what you think will get his attention. You’re not sure, and you realize you really should have thought about this earlier because you’re running out of time right now.
“...mind handing me your phone?”
You stare at Gojo, completely and wholly confused, but he just holds out his hand expectantly. When you don’t move, he wiggles his fingers a little, a silent gesture telling you to hurry it up. Without thinking, you reach into your bag and unlock your phone before handing it to him.
“Kind of sucks that cell service isn’t working right now,” he remarks as he types something into your phone before handing it back. “But! Here's my number.”
You look down at your phone and, sure enough, Satoru Gojo has added himself as one of your contacts. He’s even added a little star to the end of his name. That’s… a little unexpected. Why his number though?
“Are you… hitting on me?” you mutter in your confusion.
He laughs, “Well, you said you had something really important to talk to me about, right? So just give me a call when you get home or some time tomorrow and we can talk then!”
You’re not going to make it home, or even to tomorrow, and neither will Satoru Gojo. As you start to tell him this, he steps past you. Desperate, you try to grab him, but somehow, for some reason, you can’t. You remember he did this with Jogo and the other monster, made himself untouchable.
This is not good.
He gives you a little wave, cheery as he says, “I’ll talk to you later!”
You watch, helpless as he hops over the barricade beyond your reach.
Gripping your phone tightly, you take a deep breath. It's fine, it's not like you didn’t expect things to go well anyway.
You'll just have to try again.
Every time you’ve tried to solicit help from Satoru Gojo, it has gone the same way. He just won’t give you the time of day, and in some ways you can’t blame him; he’s clearly here to deal with the monsters down on the platform. You’re fairly certain that he probably thinks that whatever is going on with you is a much lesser issue in comparison.
Plus, it probably doesn’t help that in the times that you’ve approached him, you haven’t been able to articulate yourself particularly well. Once you start talking to him, you just get hit with something akin to stage fright and the connection between your mind and your mouth just stops working. It’s gotten better with each attempt, but…
It’s just so frustrating.
It is interesting that Gojo has given you his number every time, star symbol and all. You’re not sure what kind of person you were expecting him to be, but after witnessing him literally and viciously rip monsters apart, you’d figured he’d be a little more somber. However, in the fragmented conversations you’ve had with him he’s come off as far more friendly and playful than you would have thought. Is he the type of person to get more serious when the situation calls for it? You can’t help but wonder, but ultimately, it doesn’t really matter.
What really matters is that you’re able to convince him to help you.
You have to convince him.
“Excuse me!” you say, stepping in Satoru Gojo’s path. You don’t stutter this time, and your voice is more sure. This is good.
“Yes?”
His head turns in your direction and you gulp. Gojo’s gaze, despite that blindfold of his, still feels just as overwhelming as it did the very first time you approached him. You have no doubt that he’s sizing you up, but there’s just something about it that makes you feel like you’re being picked apart.
You take a deep breath and step closer to him, hoping your voice sounds firm enough as you say, “I need your help. I’m trapped.”
He chuckles a little, “I know, but yours truly is on his way to go beat up the bad guys keeping you all trapped here, so soon enough you’ll be all free to go on your merry little way.”
Right. You were so caught up in your own plight that you nearly forgot that technically you’re not the only one ‘trapped.’ Satoru Gojo obviously knows that everyone else is confined to this station, but you doubt he knows that you’re confined to this night alone.
“That’s not what I mean!” you sputter.
“Then what do you mean?” Gojo asks. Should you tell him that you mean that you’re trapped in a time loop? You’re honestly not sure— in the movies and manga you’ve read about time travel, revealing that sort of thing risks creating a time paradox which seems to be a bad thing. If you have to tell him, you will, but— “Oh, I get it.”
You stare, bewildered. Did you maybe just spew all of that aloud?
Gojo gives you a mischievous smile. “You’re hitting on me, aren’t you?”
“No!” The word comes flying out of your mouth. You can’t deny he’s attractive— you’ve thought it all this time, but that is not what’s happening here.
“No need to be embarrassed,” he continues, ignoring you. “I totally get it, so if you want, I’d be happy to give you my number!”
Again? You’ve received Satoru Gojo’s contact details in every loop you’ve talked to him, star symbol and all— you even have his number memorized. There’s something kind of odd about how he keeps giving you his number. Part of you wonders if he’s got some sort of ulterior motive, but you haven’t thought too deeply about it. There are way more important things going on.
“I don’t need your phone number,” you say. “I need to talk.”
Your response seems to give Gojo pause. Did you somehow manage to get through to him? No way. Your suspicions are all but confirmed when he gives you that familiar apologetic smile.
“Like, I said, I’m sort of in the middle of something, but…” Gojo reaches into his pockets and rummages around until one hand fishes out a folded up piece of paper. The other hand keeps digging around in his pocket and when Gojo seems to give up on whatever he’s looking for, he turns his attention back to you. “Got a pen?”
What?
Gojo tilts his head. “Well?”
“I do, but…” You trail off, unsure why he’s asking.
He holds out his hand waiting for you to just hand him the pen. You still don’t get it, but you reach into your bag’s front pocket and pull out the pen and hand it to him. Gojo looks almost like an excited child when he takes it from you, quickly scribbling something onto his paper before shoving it and your pen back into your hand.
You look at the paper; it looks like a receipt. For a disturbing amount of mochi that Gojo bought earlier today. The amount of money he spent is almost sickening; way too much to be paying for mochi. More importantly, you notice something juxtaposed over the receipt’s print.
It’s Satoru Gojo’s name and number.
He even drew a little star next to his name.
“If you change your mind later, just give me a call!” he tells you cheerily. “I promise I’ll make it worth your while!”
You gawk at him. He cannot be serious. You literally just told him that you didn’t need it and yet he still gave it to you. He must want you to contact him later, but you can’t even begin to understand why. It can’t have been something you said or did, right? Unless, he’s actually—
“Later!” Gojo’s voice cuts through your thoughts and you notice him walking off with a wave.
You can’t let him get away.
Again.
You crush the receipt in your hand and rush after him. Despite the crowd, Gojo seems to move through the people with ease and it almost seems like they are yielding to him naturally. It’s good for you. Makes him easier to chase.
“Wait!” you yell, but Gojo doesn’t even look back. Bastard. Your muscles strain as you try to run faster. You know you won’t be able to grab him if you get to him, but there has to still be something you can do to stop him. Circle around him? Cut him off before he—
Satoru Gojo reaches the barricade.
“Wait!” you yell again. “Satoru Gojo, wait!”
He does not even acknowledge you.
You’re almost there though. Almost. If you reach out your hand, then maybe, maybe you can grab him. Something in your head tells you that it’s useless; you’ve never been able to touch him. But, you don’t care, you don’t care because you have to try. You stretch out your hand, desperate and hoping, but just as you do, Gojo effortlessly jumps over the barricade, moving to survey the crowd.
Due to your momentum, you almost collide into the barricade, but you manage to stop yourself. You stare at Satoru Gojo through the glass. He watches the crowd for at most three minutes. Is this just another bust? Is there really nothing you can do? There must be a way you can get his attention. Is it possible to climb over the barricade? No, it’s too high. There’s nothing you can grasp onto or use as footing either.
This fucking sucks.
Another minute or two and Gojo will be on the move again, and there will be no way you can follow, no way you can get his attention. You press your hands against the glass, pushing against it. Naturally, it doesn’t budge. Why would it? If only you could get it out of the way. If only you could break it. This stupid barricade is the only thing between you and Satoru Gojo and there’s no way you can climb it, but if only you could break it.
If only you could fucking break it.
Suddenly, the glass feels warm. Satoru Gojo’s image starts to look a little distorted as the warmth beneath your fingers grows. Something is happening. The glass starts to vibrate and shake. Violently. The tremors grow stronger and stronger. You should stop. You should back away.
You don’t.
The barricade starts to crack and fracture and soon the sound of shattering glass resounds throughout the entire room. Everyone starts screaming. No one knows what’s going on— not even you. But you don’t care. It’s gone. The barricade is gone.
You take a step forward, toward Satoru Gojo. He’s on a beam that’s about a two meter drop from where you’re standing. That’s fine. That’s okay. You can make it. You have to. Without a second thought, you jump—
And you land on the beam. You look up and Satoru Gojo’s attention is back on you. He’s finally, finally turned toward you, face twisted into an expression you can’t decipher or even comprehend, but—
Something’s wrong; your world is turning on its axis, but—
Satoru Gojo is looking at you, and—
Up is very quickly becoming down, and—
Satoru Gojo is coming closer, but—
You’re slipping—
But he’s right there, and—
You’re falling, but—
He’s trying to catch you, but—
It’s too late. It’s too late.
The last thing you think you feel—
—is Satoru Gojo’s arms around you.
It’s October 31, 2018— Halloween in Shibuya.
And you are causing a commotion.
“Shit! Fuck!” you curse loudly. The people near you start to shift away but you barely notice; you don’t really care.
You were so close, so fucking close and yet… yet here you are again. It’s quarter past eight and you are back on the goddamn platform. You don’t know what happened; you remember falling and thinking you were going to die, but you are absolutely certain that, once again, this time, you didn’t die.
Is Satoru Gojo at fault again? Did he do something? Like he did all those other times you looped without dying? When you think about it more, you don’t think so. You don’t know what happened; all you know is that you tried to get to him, but you slipped.
And he caught you, you definitely remember that.
You still don’t understand why you looped, but there’s not much you can do about it now; it’s not like you can go back anymore. It just sucks, because you think he might have actually listened if you’d talked to him.
Or he would have come after you for… whatever happened with the barricade. It could have been taken as an attack on the crowd… But if he thought you were doing that, then why would he catch you?
You don’t know.
All you know is that you have to try again.
The only problem is that you don’t know how you managed to shatter the barricade. You think about it as you make your way up to where you’ll find Satoru Gojo. There is the possibility that it wasn’t you and something else happened to it instead, but that feels way too coincidental. It had to be you. That’s the only thing that makes sense. You just can’t figure out how you did it outside of wanting, wishing, praying for the barricade to break. It’s not like you have supernatural powers like Satoru Gojo and his enemies.
Despite your mind being completely and wholly occupied by trying to figure out how in the world you managed to break through that barricade, you still manage to make it to the second basement floor of Shibuya Hikarie by 8:25PM— a brand new record. Satoru Gojo doesn’t show up until around 8:34PM, so that gives you almost ten minutes to try and figure out what you need to do to try and replicate shattering the glass barricade again.
Except—
Except Satoru Gojo is already here.
The thought that maybe you’re mistaken flashes in your mind before it’s quickly dismissed; there’s no way you’d mistake anyone else for him. There is absolutely no denying it: that is Satoru Gojo. Bewildered, you double check the time on your phone. Maybe you misread it and you’re actually late but sure enough you read it right— Satoru Gojo is here early.
What the hell is going on?
Of the thousands of times you have experienced this night, this hell, this sort of thing has never happened before. Everything happens at a specific time, as if adhering to an unseen schedule. It’s likely that what happened in your last iteration did delay Satoru Gojo’s arrival onto the platform, but other than that there has never been a deviation to the time table.
And yet, here Satoru Gojo is, nine minutes early now.
You realize that that’s not the only thing that’s strange: he’s not moving. In previous rounds, when you encounter Gojo here, he’s walking to the lookout spot beyond the barricade. But, right now, he’s just standing there, hands stuffed in the pockets of his jacket. It almost looks like he's waiting for something.
Or someone.
This unexpected turn of events has you rooted to the spot. You’re not sure what you should do. No. This shouldn’t change anything. You need to talk to him. As concerning as a change like this is, the extra time it gives you should be a good thing. Despite knowing that, your feet are still firmly planted to the ground.
The crowd shifts and you see Satoru Gojo start to move. Toward the barricade? No. He’s not heading in his usual direction, rather he’s—
You stop breathing.
He’s headed toward you.
All sound stops: the crowd around you, the thoughts in your head, the beat of your heart. Even though you cannot see them through that blindfold of his, you know that Satoru Gojo’s eyes are on you and the thought of that, the knowledge of it is absolutely mind numbing.
He comes to a stop before you, lips curled up to form an amused sort of smile as he says, “Soooo, you needed to talk to me?”
You try to answer but no words come out of your mouth. Are you dreaming? You have to be, right? There's no way that this is actually happening. Could it be that, after thousands of loops, you’ve finally lost it? Your mind shattering along with the glass of the barricade at the end of the last one?
Gojo tilts his head, indicating that he's still waiting for an answer. When you open your mouth, at first, nothing comes out, the words stuck in your throat. You force them out, your voice cracking, “...how did you know?”
He smiles, looking almost mischievous as he reaches up and lightly taps the side of his head. “I remembered, of course!”
All you can do is stare at Satoru Gojo. He remembered? How is that possible? From his perspective, this is the first time you’ve met and while it shouldn’t be possible for him to remember there’s something in your mind that’s keeping you from completely dismissing the possibility.
Gojo laughs, “I take it from the look on your face that you’re not used to this sort of thing happening. Is this the first time?”
“No.” The fact that the word is out of your mouth before you can even really think about it surprises you and you really have to think. Your face scrunches together as you try to remember. Is this really not the first time? Then, the memories assault you, overlapping as they replay simultaneously in your head— a woman in a yellow and white magical girl costume— begging you for help as she burns to death— smiling as she tells you she made her costume herself. “...it happened just once a long time ago.”
“‘A long time ago,’ huh. Sounds like you've been at this for a while now.”
“...unfortunately.”
Gojo hums. “So when you said you didn’t need my phone number…”
“You’d already given it to me a few times,” you say, figuring that’s where this conversation is going.
“Really now?”
Does he not believe you? Or is he just being an ass? You’re not sure, but since you had taken the liberty of memorizing Satoru Gojo’s phone number you recite it back to him to prove your point.
Just when you think you may have stunned Gojo into silence he starts to laugh, obviously finding something funny about the fact that you know his cell phone number. “Seems like you've got quite the fascinating technique there.”
Technique? What is he talking about? Your confusion must be plain on your face because he adds, elaborating, “The time travel.”
You continue to stare at him. You don't think you'd consider what you've been going through time travel, because traveling implies moving from point A to point B, but you've been stuck walking in circles at point A for a long time. What really gets you is… “What do you mean by ‘technique?’”
“You mean you don’t— oh. I get it; no wonder you’re trapped.”
That does not answer your question in the slightest. “Can you please explain what you're talking about? What do you mean by ‘technique?’”
“Right, right… So basically, a technique is like a special sort of power,” he finally explains. “Like I said, your technique seems to be a kind of time travel. Whenever you activate it, your mind is sent back in time.”
What he's saying makes sense, but… “How come you were sent back too?”
He laughs again. “Isn't it obvious? Think back to before— do you remember that I caught you as you were falling?”
You nod slowly. The memory of his arms around you is almost embarrassingly vivid. “...is it because we were touching?”
“Ding, ding, ding! That's correct! Anyone you happen to be touching when you activate your technique gets affected by it too!”
Something about his tone annoys you, but you try to ignore it. He could have just told you rather than make you guess. “How do you know that for sure?”
“Well,” he continues. “You’ve done your little time loop a bunch of times, right? If your technique affected everyone, or even a few people in a select range you would have noticed for sure. And if it affected only just you then we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now, now would we?”
When you think about it, you do think that the woman in the magical girl costume might have bumped into you before the loop where she remembered.
“That’s honestly just conjecture, but I've got pretty good eyes, so I’m hardly ever wrong.”
Gojo gives you a grin and while you do think that his reasoning is sound enough his confidence is a little grating. More than that, though, you’re glad that this conversation is actually going really well.
“Either way,” he says thoughtfully. “It doesn’t look like you can control your technique. Usually a person’s technique manifests when they’re a kid, but you seem to be a special case… in fact, I bet your technique activated for the very first time tonight— probably under some pretty extreme circumstances, too.”
“...dying counts as an ‘extreme circumstance,’ right?”
“Oh, absolutely. Or legitimately thinking that you’re gonna die, but it seems like your body has been unconsciously activating your technique as a sort of defense mechanism. Which is why you’re trapped.”
“So, if I could control it I’d be able to make it out of this time loop.”
“Yeah, but in this case it probably wouldn’t end very well for you,” he points out with a chuckle. “It’s not like you actually want to die, right? I mean, if you did, then your technique wouldn’t even activate in the first place.”
You don’t; what you want is for this night to finally end. To be free from the endless cycle of dying over and over again and again. You don’t think death is quite the answer; even if you were to learn how to control this supposed technique of yours, there’s no guarantee that you would just unconsciously activate it when the grim reaper comes knocking on your door. No, the answer is…
“Anyway!” Gojo’s cheery voice cuts through your thoughts. “I highly doubt that you’re the type that makes a habit of jumping off ledges for the funsies, so the fact that you’ve been dying tells me that some pretty gruesome stuff is about to go down, so, tell me what happens tonight.”
The sudden drop of his voice sends a shiver running down your spine. If it weren’t for the fact that you’ve seen how serious Gojo can get, the sudden shift in demeanor would probably freak you out a bit, but it doesn’t. This is the Satoru Gojo you’re familiar with.
You do have one concern though. “That… won’t create a time paradox or anything, will it?”
“Nah,” Gojo shrugs. “You wouldn’t cause one with the way your technique works, besides, if you’ve only been going back at most an hour or two in time it’s hard to believe you’d be making a really big impact… unless you really believe in the butterfly effect.”
You’re still not quite sure.
“Trust me, it’ll be fine.”
His voice sounds strange. Gentle. Kind. It's the most soothing thing you've heard in a long time and it makes you want to believe him.
“...okay.”
Anxiety is still gripping at you, but you try to dispel it, taking a deep breath before beginning your explanation. For the sake of brevity, it’s probably best that you’re as concise as possible. There isn’t much need to really get into the nitty gritty of things unless he asks specifically.
Naturally, you begin with his arrival onto the platform and how soon after a fight breaks out and how the crowd is unfortunate enough to be involved. Gojo’s expression is passive for the most part, but he does crack the faintest hint of a smile when you mention how he manages to eviscerate one of the monsters.
It disappears once you tell him about the arrival of the train. Between the dozens upon dozens of people being dropped onto the platform by those two high school girls and the hoard of monsters disembarking from the train, everything devolves into pandemonium.
“Wait,” Gojo holds a hand up and you pause. This is his first interruption since you started recounting the night’s events for him. “Everyone is able to see the monsters?”
You stare at him. What a weird question. “...yeah?”
His mouth twists and it looks like he’s thinking about something. You can’t even begin to imagine what. Finally, he comments, “Makes sense.”
It does not, but you don’t ask him to elaborate. Surely if it was important he would have just done so.
“Anyway, in the middle of all that, you… you do something.” Your brows bunch together as you remember the stance Gojo took, the crazed and desperate look in his eyes, the feeling of your head about to explode. “I don’t know how to describe it. At first, it would just force me to… activate my technique, I guess. But now, it just knocks me out for a few minutes.”
Gojo frowns and he rubs at his chin, obviously thinking about what you’ve said. Eventually, he raises a hand and bends his fingers into a familiar gesture. It’s the one that preludes whatever he does on the platform. “Do I do this?”
“Yeah.”
He hums. “Interesting.”
You wait to see if he’ll explain. He doesn’t. Great. Even if he doesn’t think you need to know, it certainly would be nice to. It’s annoying otherwise, but you ignore the feeling and continue. “I can’t tell you what happens when I’m knocked out, but when I come to everyone is basically a zombie and all the monsters from the train are gone. I think you kill them.”
“I probably do,” he says casually. “But what about Volcano Head?”
“...you don't…get a chance to kill him,” you say slowly. Gojo tilts his head, waiting for you to elaborate, but you hesitate. You have to tell him, you know you do, but…
You have seen the interaction so many times and though you don't know the exact nature of the relationship between them, you can tell that seeing Suguru Geto (or rather seeing his body) shook Satoru Gojo to his very core.
There's no doubt in your mind that he will not take this news well.
“Come on now,” Gojo's tone is light-hearted, unaware. “Don't keep me in suspense here.”
It's as if you're withholding the punchline to a joke. In a way, you suppose you are, but you don't think he's going to find it funny.
You take a deep breath. You need to tell him. The worst thing that could happen is that he doesn't believe you, but if that's the case… you'll probably just end up repeating this all again until you find a loop where he does.
Having made it this far, you'd like to avoid all that.
“Before you can get Volcano Head you get restrained by something called the prison realm,” you say slowly, “by someone calling themselves… Suguru Geto.”
The second the name leaves your mouth, there is a clear and obvious shift in the air. Gone is Gojo’s laid-back and frivolous demeanor, replaced with something more somber and almost frightening. The tension grows more and more palpable to the point that you think it might almost choke you.
You almost wish that it would.
“You can’t be serious,” Gojo finally says, once your words have fully sunk in.
“I—” You start to speak, but come to an abrupt stop when you see him shove his hand into his pocket to yank out his phone of all things.
The both of you know full well that there’s no reception here, but you don’t think that he’s planning on making any calls. Gojo scrolls and scrolls on his phone before he stops and shoves the screen in your face. It shows a picture of three people— a teenage girl with a cigarette in her mouth, a younger, happier version of Gojo sporting a pair of round sunglasses and—
“When you say ‘Geto’ is this who you’re referring to?” Gojo demands, using his other hand to point at the third person in the frame— a handsome young man with long dark hair pulled up into a bun.
“Yes, but—”
“That’s impossible. It can’t be him,” Gojo interrupts, his voice firm, cold even. “He’s dead.”
There’s a note of finality in his words that is definitely meant to leave no room for argument. It doesn’t stop you, though. Instead, you glare at Gojo’s stupid blindfold and say, “...being dead doesn’t mean a damn thing! I’ve died hundreds of times and yet I’m still fucking here, but—”
“Your situation is different,” he interjects, the temperature of his tone hiking up, his words like heated hissing. “I killed him almost a year ago. There's no way—”
“You didn't get rid of the body properly!” You cut him off, raising your voice in hopes that he'll take even just a second to stop and listen. It seems to work and you add something you remember ‘Geto’ saying. “You should have had Shoko Ieiri get rid of it, but you didn’t and now some… some kind of gross brain thing is possessing the corpse!”
The air between you both is silent as the grave. Though you can't see it, you can feel the weight of his gaze pressing down on you. He’s definitely having second thoughts about everything you’ve said so far. There’s a chance he might even think you’re his enemy now. You stare him down though, refusing to look away. You’ve made it this far, you can’t— you won’t back down.
“...you’re not lying, are you.” Gojo’s words are more of a statement than a question. There’s no doubt in your mind that he knows the answer, and yet he’s still asking. You wonder if maybe he’s clinging onto some vain hope that maybe, just maybe this all a sick, cruel joke that’s gone way too far.
“I’m not.”
Gojo holds your gaze for a second longer before he lets out a curse. “Fuck!”
“...I’m sorry,” you say quietly, mostly because it feels like the most correct thing to say at this moment. You don’t know the whole story, but it seems like they were close. If so, then it must have hurt Gojo a lot to have killed him, and must hurt even more to know that someone is desecrating the body. You hate that you, a complete and utter stranger, happened to be the person to tell him, but…
It had to be done, for the sake of getting past this unending night, it had to be done.
Gojo runs a hand through his hair and lets out a ragged sigh. “Okay. What happens after that?”
You give him a rundown of what follows; he gets sealed, the monsters wake up and all but ‘Geto’ leave in search of their next target. When you mention the high school girls demanding the brain give Geto’s body back, Gojo snorts loudly.
“Fat chance of that,” he says derisively.
You nod in agreement. It was clear to you that the brain parasite has no intent on giving it up any time soon. “After they leave, he… talks to me.”
“Probably couldn't ignore all that cursed energy you have,” Gojo remarks offhandedly.
You stare at him, expression twisted in a way that shows that you have absolutely no clue what that means. It should be fine for you to ask this one question; it actually concerns you after all. “What does that even mean?”
“Exactly what it sounds like, though… probably doesn't make much sense to you, does it?”
You give him a pointed glare and all Gojo does is laugh.
“Just think of it like having a lot of MP.”
“...Like in a video game?”
“Exactly!” Then, Gojo tilts his head, clearly thinking. You don't bother asking; you don't feel like he'll explain.
“He does ask me if I'm a sorcerer, whatever that is. Is that why?”
“Probably. Ordinary people don't have even a fraction of the energy you're packing.”
‘Ordinary people’ he says as if you’re not an ordinary person who got caught up in all this supernatural sorcery bullshit. Or at least you were, but if the time loops are really a product of your own doing…
“Does he kill you when you answer?” Gojo asks to get the conversation back on track.
“Not right away. What happens next kind of varies,” you answer. “He usually lets me have a question or two before he kills me; I've asked him a couple different things.”
“Really taking advantage, aren’t you?” Gojo says and you're not sure what to make of his tone. Is he mocking you or is he easing back into that laid-back persona of his?
“If I’m doomed to repeat the same situation over and over, I might as well make the most of it,” you respond flatly.
“You know, your technique kind of reminds me of save scumming.”
He’s definitely gone back to acting almost completely unserious— all signs of his earlier agitation are nearly gone.
“So what did you learn?”
“Well, the prison realm only holds one occupant. Once they’re sealed, time stops for them and the only way out is if the bearer unseals them or if they choose to kill themselves.”
“I see… And what about our body jacker?”
“He didn’t go into detail but he said something about… striving toward the evolution of mankind?” You frown a little at the memory. He didn’t explain further because he said that you wouldn’t understand.
“Huh. Interesting. Wonder how he was gonna go about doing that.”
“I don't know, but I can't imagine you'd like it since he goes out of his way to seal you into that box,” you say. “Said you’d get in the way because you’re too strong.”
Gojo shrugs his shoulders and grins a little. Cocky. “Well, I am the strongest sorcerer around, you know.”
You would think him overconfident if you hadn't seen the magnitude of his strength first hand.
“Anyway, that's as far as I ever go. When he's decided he’s done talking to me, he kills me and I loop back.”
“So, in short, what you want help with is getting past that point, right?”
“More or less.”
“And all I have to do is avoid getting caught by the prison realm?”
You nod.
“What’s it look like?” he asks. “A big cage with a bunch of metal bars?”
Now that you think about it, you haven’t woken up early enough to see it before it traps him, but you can’t imagine it looks that much different. “No.. It’s a small box with eyes… It gets big enough to fit you in it, though.”
“Huh.” He stretches his arms out above his head as if he’s trying to emphasize how large he actually is and shoots you a grin. “Should be easy enough then. I bet our body snatcher used the shock of seeing Suguru to trap me but since I'll see it coming, avoiding it'll be a piece of cake.”
Gojo makes it sound so easy, and maybe it really is as simple as that, but you can't help but be worried still.
“Don't tell me you don't think I can do it,” he says, tilting his head.
“It's not that,” you admit. “I'm just concerned I might die before we can get to that point.”
Truthfully, since you know that will just result in another loop you're less concerned with dying itself and more worried about losing the progress you've made in convincing Gojo to help you. Even though it's been clearly proven you can loop him as well, there's no guarantee you'll be able to make the physical contact needed to do it upon death.
“You've made it pretty far on your own, though, right?”
“Yeah, but… I’ve messed up plenty of times.” More than you can even count. “There's also the possibility that taking the time to talk to you might have thrown things out of whack.”
Speaking of time, you check your phone. It's 8:39PM. You curse.
Gojo leans over to check your phone. “Let me guess, I'm supposed to be somewhere right now.”
“Yeah, this is when you’re descending down onto the platform.”
“You know where I am down to the exact minute?” He asks and you tilt your head back and forth a little. It’s not exact per se, but it’s close enough. Gojo chuckles a little. “Man, I didn’t realize that you were actually that into me.”
That earns Gojo a glare from you, but he just laughs it off. “I doubt being a few minutes late is going to make a big difference.”
You certainly hope so.
“Don't worry,” Gojo says and you notice he's using that tone from earlier. “You won't die.”
It’s hard to argue with him when he uses such a reassuring sounding voice and yet, you still open your mouth to try— to voice your doubts, but what he says next silences you before you even can.
“I'll protect you.”
You think your heart stops beating in your chest and your words dissolve in your throat.
He grins at you. “Did you fall in love with me just now?”
That catches you a little off guard. You're willing to admit he's hot, but surely he must be joking. “How could you even think of something like that at a time like this?”
Gojo laughs again. “Well, since someone is so worried about their time table being all messed up, I better head down there; can’t keep Volcano Head and friends waiting, right?”
You blink. Is that it? “Wait, shouldn’t we make a plan or something?”
“Isn’t the plan for me to not get caught in the prison realm?”
Yes, but… “But what about me? Is there anything I can do?”
Gojo stares at you, or at least you think he does. “...I don’t know, is there?”
You’ve seen the encounter between Satoru Gojo and those monsters so many times and you try to picture a version of it where you intervene and… all you can see is yourself getting in his way. You’re no fighter, no… sorcerer, or whatever he is, you’re just some ordinary person that was unfortunate enough to get all caught up in this mess. The most you can probably do is kick the prison realm out of the way when the time comes, but otherwise… “...no, I guess not.”
His expression turns sympathetic. “You’ve done plenty by telling me everything that happens. So just wait up here, and let me handle the monsters.”
You almost nod. Almost. But then you remember what transpires up here above the platform. You know it sounds safer up here where you’re less likely to get involved in the carnage, but… “Wait, no, if I stay up here then I’ll fall to my death when those girls—”
Gojo laughs, interrupting you. “Don’t worry about that. It’ll be fine.”
“How?”
“Just trust me.”
“I…” It’s hard to. After everything you’ve gone through it’s hard to trust in anything, to believe in anything. Even though you’ve made it this far this time, the worry that something will go wrong and that you’ll have to do it all again still lurks in the back of your mind.
Despite all that, you want to believe.
You want to believe that you can make it past this unending night, that one day you’ll wake up and it’ll no longer be October 31, 2018. And the first step towards that is trusting in Satoru Gojo.
“...okay,” you say quietly. “Okay.”
Gojo chuckles then asks, “Anything else before I head off?”
You start to ask if there’s anything you should say, in case things don’t work out, but you stop yourself. You’re choosing to trust him, to believe in him— you can figure out that stuff later if things end up going south after all. So, instead you give him a smile and it feels a little weird because you don’t remember the last time you did. “Good luck!”
For a split second, Gojo looks almost surprised, but then he laughs again, beaming widely at you. He starts to move past you and reaches out to give you what you think is meant to be a reassuring squeeze of the shoulder and then he’s off. You turn to watch him go, the crowd, once again, parting almost naturally for him.
When he reaches the barricade, he pauses, raising his hand as if he’s giving you one last wave. Then he jumps over it onto his little perch and then less than a minute later he’s gone, descending to the platform below.
Now, all you can do is wait.
You check your phone again and it’s 8:44PM. If you remember correctly, the high school girls start threatening everyone right before 9PM. With Gojo’s arrival being shifted back almost five minutes, does that mean that they’ll be shifted back too? It would make sense, but you’re not too sure.
Out of habit, you keep checking your phone and at nearly 9PM, you hear the shrill voice of one of the girls over the crowd, commanding everyone to do what she says, her partner stringing up bodies until everyone listens. Everything plays out just as you remember it, which is mildly comforting, though you know that the events that happen up here are more or less independent from what happens below.
Surely, just as Gojo said, a few minutes aren’t going to change anything, but—
No.
You agreed to trust him. To trust that everything would be fine.
When the girls start to demand that as many people as possible climb onto the roots and vines covering the atrium your heart starts to hammer in your chest. In just a few minutes, all the foliage will disintegrate beneath you, and you and everyone else here will fall into the abyss below.
You are afraid.
There isn’t a single loop where you’ve really survived this fall. If you don’t die in midair, you die right after landing. It’s a death trap, and that’s why you’ve stopped coming up here. There’s a part of you, the part that knows what’s about to happen, that wants to try and run back onto stable footing. But you can’t, because you know if you do then the girls will kill you for sure; you have to stay.
It’ll be fine, you tell yourself, it’ll be okay.
You just have to trust Gojo.
An eight car train is pulling in. Please wait behind the yellow line.
You hear the announcement faintly below you. It’s almost time. You brace yourself and try to stay calm. Gojo said he would protect you, that you wouldn’t die. You don’t know how he intends to keep that promise, but all you can do is believe in his words.
It’ll be fine. It’ll be okay.
The vines and roots start to crack and the ground beneath you starts to give out. You squeeze your eyes shut as that sickening weightless feeling overtakes you. It occurs to you that this is actually quite literally a trust fall— will Satoru Gojo really be able to catch you?
As you fall, you realize almost instantly that something is different.
You’ve experienced this fall dozens of times and so, even though it has been a while since you’ve gone this route, you are very familiar with what it feels like. Something is different. You’re falling faster. The trajectory is changing. It’s like some force, other than gravity, is pulling at you.
Is this Gojo’s doing?
Just as your body collides with the ground you hear the sounds of mutilating flesh meld with the screams surrounding you. Blood and severed limbs litter the ground, but you try to ignore it. You need to focus on your own survival right now. Quickly, you scramble to your feet scan the area around you; you’re on the platform right now and right in front of you is—
Right in front of you is Satoru Gojo.
His back is turned to you, his focus currently elsewhere. Looking at him you realize you recognize this scene, though it’s much closer and at a different angle. He’s about to do that thing, that thing that knocks you out.
Something in you tells you to move closer to him, after all, he used his mysterious powers to deliberately bring you closer to him, right? You rush toward him and as you do something he said earlier pops up in your mind.
Anyone you happen to be touching when you activate your technique gets affected by it too!
Whatever he’s about to do… Is that his ‘technique?’ And if it is, would it work the same way as yours? If so, there’s only one way to find out: you need to touch him. You dodge monsters and other people as you run toward Satoru Gojo and—
A monster still manages to grab you, its large hands wrapping around your wrist. You try and yank it free, but it's much stronger than you are.
“Shit!” you hiss as the monster starts to pull you toward it and away from Gojo. What do you do? Your other hand is still free, should you try to punch it in the face? Or—
Before you can do anything, something blasts the monster’s head clean off. Shocked, you stare as the monster’s body slumps onto the ground, its grip loosening on you instantly. You whip your head around to find that while Gojo still has his back to you, his arm is bent back in your direction, his palm open as if he fired some invisible blast from it.
Then you feel it again, something pulling at you, but this time it's more forceful. Your body is yanked toward Gojo and the second you feel his hand press against you, you see him make that gesture with his other hand.
“Domain Expansion,” he whispers in a strained voice. “Infinite Void!”
Something happens and your vision flashes for a fraction of a second. And then—
The room is enveloped in an eerie stillness; all the violence and bloodshed coming to an abrupt stop. Monsters and humans alike stand like the living dead, unconscious with their eyes wide open as if they are staring into an infinite abyss. You recognize this scene, you’re familiar with it because it’s similar to the one you wake up to after being hit by Gojo’s ‘domain expansion.’ The only difference is the presence of the monsters, who are all but gone when you regain consciousness.
The pressure from Gojo’s hand is gone and he says to you, his voice still low. “If you’re squeamish when it comes to blood and gore, it might be best for you to close your eyes.”
And then he’s gone.
You do not take his advice. You do not close your eyes. How many loops were you unable to witness what’s about to unfold? A few hundred? A few thousand? And if all goes to plan, then you will never get another chance again: there’s no way you could possibly look away.
And what you see unfold before you is that Satoru Gojo was right.
He is the one to kill all the monsters.
It’s not as if you really had any doubt, after all, it seemed like the most logical conclusion to come to and yet…
There’s a difference between knowing and seeing.
All the violence resumes and the platform is engulfed in the sounds of carnage and slaughter once more. The lack of terrified screams makes everything more disconcerting— without them, all you can hear is the squelching echo of mangled flesh and blood splattering all over the place. You can’t really see him, but you can tell where Satoru Gojo is in the crowd as he leaves dozens upon dozens of decapitated heads soaring in his wake. Once or twice, he leaps out of the crowd and even from where you stand you can see the crazed glow of his inhumanly blue eyes as he massacres monster after monster.
Even though you don’t think you have anything to be scared of, you are still terrified: Satoru Gojo is no longer a man, but violence incarnate. You want to move closer to where Gojo gets trapped, but you’re afraid to. What if you get in his way? What if he kills you by accident?
Dying again when you’ve made it this far is definitely not ideal, but isn’t being killed by Gojo the best case scenario? Because then the two of you would probably loop together again and—
No.
Gojo said you wouldn’t die.
He said he’d protect you.
It’s hard to believe when he’s in the middle of a massacre, slaughtering monsters left and right, but you remind yourself yet again that you have to believe in him.
You take a deep breath and start moving, taking care to keep an eye on where Gojo is. You don’t know how long this is supposed to take, but you do know where he ends up when he’s just about done. The closer he gets to that spot, the sooner the prison realm will be unleashed upon him.
There’s a small group of zombified people nearby and you settle yourself among them. It’s not super close, but you think it's close enough that you'd be able to run over and kick the box away from Gojo if you have to. You do a quick survey to see if you can spot the body snatcher, but he's nowhere to be found. Hopefully, he hasn't noticed you moving around, or, if he has, he's more concerned with Gojo than he is with you. Given that you always seem to be the last thing he acknowledges, you'd like to think that he doesn't consider you a threat.
Which you're not, not really anyway.
The sounds of slaughter start to die down and you look to see Gojo approaching the spot where he gets caught. He looks beat, his eyes unfocused and his breathing heavy. You do another quick scan around him and notice a small box a few meters away from him, wrapped in what looks like paper charms or seals or whatever they're called. That has to be the prison realm— though it looks different than what you saw before. Gojo seems to notice it right after you do, his gaze honing in on it, examining it with some measure of bewilderment. Then, some invisible force slices through all the paper seals covering the box and it expands, the corners of the box floating up in midair to reveal what looks like a large sheet of dark red flesh with a large bloodshot eye stapled to the middle.
Disgusting.
If Gojo didn’t realize before, he seems to now, because he takes a step back, away from the grotesque thing. Good, good—
“Hey! Satoru!” Your blood runs cold at the sound of the body snatcher’s voice. He emerges from the crowd, smiling widely as he gives Gojo a wave. “Long time no see!”
Satoru Gojo’s entire body goes rigid. Shit. You told him, you warned him about what was going to happen, who he was going to see, but was that not enough? It’s possible that no amount of warning would have been enough to mentally prepare Satoru Gojo for the sight of the man he said he killed a year ago. After all, you know that there’s a stark difference between knowing and seeing. Even then, if Gojo doesn’t gather his wits and move now then he’s going to get caught and you can’t let that happen.
Your body moves before you can even think about it.
You scramble out from your hiding spot in the crowd and throw yourself in between Satoru Gojo and the prison realm. There’s no way you can kick it away from him now, not when it’s in this form, but maybe, if you get between them you can at least keep it from capturing him.
The eye quivers erratically, as it flits from Gojo to you. Every hair on your body stands on end as it watches you, the pupil dilating and contracting uncontrollably. You can’t look away from it, your own gaze fixed to your image reflected in the black abyss of the pupil. Something in the back of your mind tells you to stop, to get away, it’s dangerous, but you keep your feet firmly planted to the ground.
A second, or maybe even a minute passes and the prison realm shifts, its fleshy form morphing to restrain you.
The body jacker looks at you, his frown tinged with disgust. “Don’t you think you’re being rather rude by butting into what could have been a touching reunion?”
You scowl. Is he still trying to play the role of Suguru Geto?
He sighs and looks past you at Gojo. “Satoru, I thought bringing lesser sorcerers to fight alongside you was more trouble than it was worth?”
You hear Gojo snort from behind you, “It is… but this person here isn’t a sorcerer… Just like you aren’t Suguru Geto.”
The faker almost pouts and presses his hand to his chest as if Gojo's words have wounded him. “Satoru, I’m hurt, how could you say such a thing to your best friend?”
“Cut the bullshit,” Gojo snarls. “You can’t fucking fool me. You might be in Suguru’s body but I know with all my heart and soul that you’re not him.”
The corpse snatcher stares at Gojo, expression blank before he sighs once more. Then, his gaze shifts back to you, his eyes narrowed as he looks at you with sheer disdain. It feels as if you’ve been drenched in ice cold water. There's no smile this time but you already know what's going to happen.
He’s going to kill you.
“I intended to deal with you later since you seemed harmless enough,” he says, raising a hand to summon a monster— the same one he always uses to end your life. “But you’re in the way. So, I think it’s for the best if I just get rid of you right now.”
Instinctively, you try to take a step back but the prison realm’s restraints keep you in place. Not that it would have mattered much, even in the loops where you’ve tried to escape the faker’s monster, it still kills you, too fast and too agile for an ordinary human like you to avoid. All you can do is squeeze your eyes shut and wait for the monster to kill you. At least, it’s always painless.
Something touches your back.
Your eyes shoot open.
Before you is the monster, wiggling and writhing only mere centimeters from your face. It gurgles and snarls at you, desperate to fulfill its master’s wishes and kill you but it doesn’t move any closer. You stare at it with wide eyes, unsure of what to do.
Someone behind you clicks their tongue— Gojo. You try to turn your head to look at him, but your movements are too limited, the most you can do is turn your head to the side. The sounds the monster is making start to change, sounding more frenzied, almost as if it’s in pain, and you flit your eyes in its direction just in time to see its entire body explode. The monster's guts and bright purple blood fly off in every direction, getting on the floor, the ceiling, the zombified bodies of the people unfortunate enough to be nearby, but not on you.
This is Satoru Gojo’s doing.
He steps in front of you, half turned towards you as he moves in between you and the body snatcher. His hands are shoved in his pockets as he loudly says, “Did you really forget about me?”
You’re not sure if he’s talking to you or the body snatcher.
Past him, the imposter scowls, raising his hand once more, probably to summon even more monsters, but Gojo’s quicker, and it almost looks like his eyes are glowing even brighter, the blue looking almost white as he whips his head in the faker’s direction. The sound of mangling flesh and breaking bones echoes throughout the room as Gojo, using that mysterious power of his, seems to break the faker’s arm.
The body snatcher hisses loudly and despite the fact that his face is twisted in very obvious pain, he tries to shoot Gojo a mocking smile. “Do you really think you can kill your best friend again?”
“I already told you,” Gojo turns to fully face the monster inhabiting Geto’s corpse. He tilts his head a little to the side and some force starts to squeeze at the faker’s neck. “You’re not Suguru.”
You hear a loud crack as Gojo telekinetically snaps his neck.
The head rolls onto the ground and you almost look away, but then you notice his eyes still moving, looking around. Is he still alive? Then you remember: the thing possessing Suguru Geto’s body was some kind of parasite. “Gojo! Wait! The brain!”
He reacts almost instantly, head turning and in an instant the skull is crushed and all that remains is red splotch on the ground.
You almost relax. Almost.
But the body is still standing.
Horrified, you watch as it quivers violently before falling to the ground. Then what looks like dozens of black spirits start to erupt from the corpse and the entire room is engulfed with a shrill howling.
What the hell is going on?
“Those must be all the cursed spirits he consumed,” Gojo explains uselessly, voice barely audible over the screaming. “Guess he was empty before.”
You don’t bother asking what he means. There are bigger problems right now. “What do we do?”
“No choice to exorcise them,” he answers plainly.
For him to exorcise them, he means. You both know that there’s not much that you can do. You still can’t move and honestly, you don’t even know if it’s possible to get out of the prison realm’s restraints. Not without dying. And if you die now…
Everything will have been for naught.
You’ll reset time and have to do this all over again— assuming you can even get to this point again.
There has to be something, you just have to think outside the box.
Or rather—
“Gojo!”
He glances back at you.
“You need to seal me in the prison realm!” you exclaim. He turns to face you fully, looking bewildered and you start to explain as fast as you can. “Those things are going to attack any minute right? I can’t move or try to hide and I can’t expect you to protect me the entire time and if I die then I’ll end up looping time again, but— but, if you seal me in the prison realm then that won’t happen.”
Gojo frowns, looking conflicted. “You don’t think I can do it?”
“Wouldn't it be easier if you didn’t have to?”
He tilts head and you think he’s conceding your point.
“Please,” you beg, staring at him desperately. “We don’t have much time. The other… cursed spirits will wake up soon too!”
You don’t have to explain that you mean Volcano Head and friends.
It takes only a second for Gojo to consider the very few options you have. “...how do you seal it? Do you know?”
“I think so,” you answer. “There’s no guarantee it’ll work but I think that if you say ‘prison realm, gate close’ it should seal me inside.”
If anything, it’s worth a shot.
Gojo nods. “Do you know how to break the seal?”
“I… don’t,” you confess. You never asked, and you don’t think the body snatcher would have told you even if you did. He only told you that it holds one and that…
That time doesn’t flow in the box.
“...you don’t have to break the seal.”
Gojo frowns, “Wait a sec—”
“Even if I make it past tonight… What if this all happens again? What if I inadvertently trap myself in another time loop?” you ask. “I… I don’t want to have to go through all of this again. It’s better for me in a place where time doesn’t pass.”
You don’t know for sure if it’ll be better, but right here, right now, it seems like the best option.
It feels like an eternity passes before Gojo says anything.
“...fine,” he agrees and you don’t quite know how to feel about it. The howling around you all grows louder. You wonder why the cursed spirits haven’t attacked yet. Maybe Gojo’s power is holding them at bay… for now anyway. You both know that he can’t ignore them forever.
“...before I do, though, mind if I ask you just one thing?”
You blink. “Not sure what I can do for you in this state…”
He laughs. “I just want to know your name.”
What an odd request. Though, now that you think about it, you don’t think that during this loop or any other loop really, you’ve ever told him your name. It only seems fair to tell him, since you’ve known his for longer than he’s known of your existence.
You tell him your name.
He nods, looking as if he’s committing to memory. Probably easier to remember than his phone number. “Any last words?”
You try to think of something. Nothing comes to mind and you just shake your head.
Gojo takes a deep breath, “Alrighty then… Prison realm, gate close.”
Just as it did the many times you’ve seen Satoru Gojo sealed away, the boxes and restraints around you vibrate a little before they start to close around you, growing large enough to fit your body as they approach.
You won’t see it, but once you’re inside the box will shrink and become small enough to fit in the palm of someone’s hand.
Will it be quiet inside?
In your final seconds, some words, some last words come to mind, and you say them, hoping that he hears them in time. “Thank you, Satoru Gojo.”
You burn the glittering glow of his brilliant bright blue eyes into your mind.
And then, everything is engulfed in an unending black.
It’s November 30, 2018— morning on the campus of Tokyo Prefectural Jujutsu High School.
Satoru Gojo strides through the school grounds, casually tossing a small silver box with eerie blue eyes known as the prison realm up and down in his grasp. Walking at his side is Shoko Ieiri, a pretty woman who’s been unfortunate enough to have been Satoru’s friend since high school.
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Shoko asks, twirling a few strands of her long brown hair.
“What do you mean?” Satoru responds nonchalantly. “All my ideas are good ideas.”
Shoko hums in clear dissent, but doesn’t say anything more. Even she knows better than to try and waste her time trying to argue with Satoru. “I’m just worried about their mental state. Didn’t you say that time doesn’t flow in the box?”
“I’d be worried if it was some normal person,” Satoru says. “But after what they’ve gone through I think they’ll be fine.”
“...well, if you say so.”
The two arrive at their destination: the largest training area on the Jujutsu High grounds. Satoru places the prison realm at the center and takes a few steps back with Shoko standing behind him, in case anything happens.
He doesn’t think it will, but it’s always good to take at least a few precautions.
“Gojo, are you sure we should be doing this?” Shoko asks again. “Didn’t they want to remain in the box?”
“Of course I am,” Satoru says with his usual air of confidence before looking back at the prison realm nestled in the grass. He grins and then—
“Prison realm, gate open.”
if you made it this far. thank you. it's my sincerest hope that you enjoyed the ride.
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Not a request bb just wondering what you thing Getos fav position is 😗
bestie lemme tell you.
I think Sugu is a very intimate person; not only does he care to see that your body reacts to his nimble touches he also cares to see the faces you make for each loving caress.
Just how far back under your eyelids will your eyes go when he taps against that sensitive spot inside you? Will your brows furrow and lips form an ‘o’ when his breath tickle across your neck? Will you end up biting your lip until you break the skin once his lips kiss your clit? These are things a man like Suguru Geto must know. So here are Sugu’s top three positions:
003. CHAIR COWGIRL
Its a perk (no pun intended) to have your tits displayed perfectly in his view, they’re (depending on your height) at eye level as well and only a breath away from ringing his lips around your attentive nipples. This position can always ensure a firm grip on the flesh of your ass while he pummels into you in a vanilla yet imposing sense. Not only that but the clear look on your face is presented perfectly than any Michelin dish, so ready to make a lewd expression right in front of his sharp eyes. He consumes it by tugging on your bottom lip with his teeth, reinforcing with another thrust for extra flavor: your moans.
Only downfall would be how restrictive the movement is. A chair can move but so much and if so its stagnant. Suguru is a strong man, its not that he can’t go hours in that chair thrusting upwards, it just isn’t too much of a comfortable position which puts it third on his list. (Though he could make you do all of the work, just what type of man would that make him? A type like Gojo).
002. THE SEASHELL
Suguru would be lying if he said this position wasn’t amusing to him—legs raised and arms tunneled underneath your kneecaps, you resemble a pretzel. A cute look on you. Its a more flexible position than the previous, he’s able to raise his hips to a good extent and slam back into you at full thrust. Your yelps are louder than usual and your expressions are remarkable. Just what he lives to see. Sometimes he rests his digits on the plush of your thighs or traces circles around your clit to keep his hands busy, he loves to give his princess what she deserves.
Though it may be an entertaining position, he can’t risk getting his lover hurt in such a lecherous way, for both your undying pleasures. He’d like a position where you aren’t folded in half like some foldable chair. because of this, this one takes the silver medal.
001. SIDE-BY-SIDE
Hmm… a relatively convenient position that is not only comfortable but also less restrictive and he gets to see your face? He must’ve killed two birds (or three) with one stone. Thankfully, this is yet another position where Suguru can have full access to your ass (a good day to be an ass man), delicately using his fingertips to jiggle the large flesh in delight. He doesn’t need to see it directly for he already knows by memory just how bouncy your ass is. And he knows how consistent the bounce would be as he continues to clap his pelvis against yours. Fuck, does he love to hear the syllables of his name slur from your mouth as you struggle to keep your eyes from watering. He can feel your tits press against his pecs seductively and he always groan when he senses how prominent your nipples are sliding on his skin.
Your leg wrapped around his thigh is an amazing feature that he’s glad to have, it adds on to both his and yours intimacy, making it first on his list <3
was it rlly necessary for me to write the preferred sex positions of a fictional character with such detail? Yes, yes it was. happy bday sugu ahaha totally not late at all.
#🗣 — that brotha starvin!!#geto x reader#geto smut#getou smut#geto headcanons#getou x reader#getou headcanons#geto x you#jjk smut#jjk headcanons#jjk x reader#★. noodlez!#𓂺 — you perv!
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“only so many hail marys a boy can make until he’s rubbed those rosaries to rubble.” fucking poetry. bukowski could never. no seriously baker what is your secret. how long have you been writing? is writing just a hobby for you? how are you so fucking clever? have you considered writing a book? or doing commissions on facfics? because i would uh. i would pay your rent, car insurance, morgage. suck your dick. goes w out saying.
just finished your cherry fic and dude. god i dont know how you do it, your talent is fucking otherworldy. the art of billy for that fic,???????????????? impeccable. indescribable. i kept referencing the picture and fr it made the fic so much more enjoyable to read (not that your writing isnt enough, the art was just the cherry on top AHAHA) and brother ive read a lot. a lot of fanfiction in my lifetime and you are by far the best writer ive come across. everests above anyone else. you write as good as billy looks.
but who is this person behind this gloriously gifted artistically genius mask?? i must know how you are so good 🙏🥺🙏
well you are just the nicest person ever alsdjfhsdgfs. THANK YOU. i've been writing on and off for around 15 years - but i'm not very consistent so i can never do writing commissions XD. i have one original idea for a book! i'm currently struggling through writers block tho T__T so there isnt much writing going on atm (i'm reading more trying to get back into it).
thank you again for the extremely VERY VERY KIND words on my writing and my art. i cannot begin to say how much your kindness means to me. really. i'm a mess now aslkjdlhvdsfashgd.
#replies#YOURE SO SWEET GAWDDD#really really thank you ive been incredibly depressed about my writing and my art lately#and like you magically knew exactly to send me this when i was at my lowest#thank you my dude T__T
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the maknae and his hyungs
lee!jeongin.
lers!hyunjin, seungmin and minho.
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“hyungs!” jeongin whined from torment as hyunjin and minho were tickling him. he was sat in between them on the sofa, a blanket draped over their laps and watching a film. it all started when hyunjin playfully poked jeongin in the ribs, and minho decided it would be fun to join. now he’s leaning into minho, hands being held against his chest whilst hyunjin teases his sides. it’s not like they were trying to make him scream, just light tickling to make him squirm and giggle. there’s nothing more they love than making their baby laugh. “plehehease stop!” he bubbled out as hyunjin gave his side another squeeze. seungmin must have heard the commotion, bundling into the room so he doesn’t miss out on the fun.
“seungmin hyung, please help me!” jeongin twisted his head to the door, only to have it snapped back when hyunjin reached for his neck. “for all the times you’ve ignored me when this has happened? i think i’ll help the boys.” he smirked and jeongin’s eyes widened. he could just about handle one person tickling him, but not two. seungmin walked to the back of the sofa and leaned over, getting easy access to jeongin’s underarms. minho still had a tight grip on him from behind his back so he couldn’t move. “ahaha it’s horrible!” jeongin whined but their nimble fingers carried on their torture. his nose scrunched when he laughed, making the boys awe at him and call him cute. “such sensitive little sides.” hyunjin sighed out with no remorse, squeezing up and down each one gently. “such hollow armpits too!” seungmin joined in whilst his fingers were wiggling around. “i’ll do anythihihing.” the youngest exclaimed. “you’re fine baby, we’ll stop now.” minho let go of his arms and put an arm around him. jeongin flinched at first, but soon relaxed into his elders touch. the rest of the film consisted of them poking each other randomly and trying to win the game of who could poke each other last.
#stray kids#tickle#bang chan#skz x reader#lee minho#skz#ler#tickle fic#stray kids minho#skz smut#hwang hyunjin#hyunjin#tickle art#bts v#btsgif#skz soft hours#skz soft thoughts#bts tickle#tickle fluff#skz imagines
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Oh yeah, big time. Blaming Nanaya as the sole villain of the story is super weird when it’s pretty clear there’s more going on.
First of all, Nanaya appears to share the same upturned smile as Shabriri, portrayed on the Shabriri’s Woe talisman. Given that the description of the talisman calls attention to the “flirtatious” little smirk, I think we’re meant to take this as a bit of a hint.
“The corners of his mouth are upturned in an almost flirtatious manner.”
With that in mind, I think it’s likely that the original Nanaya was killed and possessed in the same manner as Irina/Hyetta. She fits the bill, she’s said to be a young maiden who arrived and guided Midra, and we never see her eyes while she’s alive, so she may have even been blind. Clearly though, she was used by Shabriri/The Frenzied Flame to get Midra where they wanted him.
On that note, it’s not just Nanaya. Every inquisitor and commoner in Midra’s Manse is Frenzied, at least by the time we arrive. Did anyone else think that the Hornsent’s way of dealing with Midra was a little overly cruel, to the point of inefficiency? Yeah, the Inquisitors are said to use torture to extract confessions, but why keep Midra alive if they were aware of the threat posed by the Frenzied Flame? And they were aware. The Surging Frenzied Flame says that they Hornsent forbid the Flame’s use on account of it being able to burn spirits, which were sacred to them, and the Madding Hand tells us users of the Flame were “hunted down as heretics by their own brethren.” As we see outside the Manse though, most of the Inquisitors’ victims are simply beheaded. So why torture Midra? It seems pretty clear. Everything that happened at the Manse was a result of Shabriri or the FF manipulating things to try and make Midra into a Lord of Frenzied Flame. The torture, the punishment, making him endure for “Nanaya,” telling him he’s weak, and maybe even the death of his child, if the theories about Nanaya being pregnant in the painting are correct.
One consistent thing about the Frenzied Flame in Elden Ring: it’s always manipulative. It takes familiar shapes like Yura or Irina or maybe even the Three Fingers to try and draw us in, and then it uses our compassion against us. Vyke took the Flame to save his Maiden, and Shabriri asks us to do the same to spare Melina. Melina, though, tries to get us to see the bigger picture:
> “However ruined this world has become, however mired in torment and despair, life endures. Births continue. There is beauty in that, is there not?”
The Frenzied Flame must manipulate, because that sort of extreme nihilism requires a degree of delusion in order to be justified. It portrays itself as a selfless thing, when in reality, becoming the Lord of Frenzy means making the most selfish choice possible: to rather violently end every other living thing, present and future, because you define their existence by their suffering. Plus, preventing Melina from making her sacrifice means actively denying her the agency she regains when we leave Leyndell, while simultaneously threatening to end the world she has come to care for. No wonder she comes after us in the credits.
I got away from Midra and Nanaya there, sorry lol. These things have been on my mind recently, the way ER depicts these harmful ideologies via the FF and the Dung Eater… I have a big post about him coming soon ahaha
granted i still havent done a deep dive on nanaya and midra yet. and granted, she IS shady, and at very best misguided in her motives. but all the people going “nanaya TORTURED midra and TORMENTED him to get him to become the perfect host for the frenzied flame” is like. also not quite it… mostly due in part to almost all of midra’s suffering apparently due to either 1) the effects of the flame’s influence itself, and 2) the literal fucking inquisitors hunting him down, stalking around his front door, and yknow. Having literally impaled him
nanaya having likely been the one to guide him with the flame is one thing, but her role honestly also seems pretty similar to hyetta. a maiden of the frenzied flame. im not quite feeling a full nashandra situation again here. “the plea to Endure was a curse” is also pretty open, because, like. you would also tell your loved ones to Endure too, wouldn’t you?
im also honestly not all too confident in ER fans’ track record with misogyny at that…. like was she actually definitively a bad person. or are we just assuming this in full again
#elden ring#elden ring lore#sote spoilers#shadow of the erdtree spoilers#shadow of the erdtree#nanaya#midra#midra lord of frenzied flame#melina#the three fingers#the frenzied flame#vyke the dragonspear#festering fingerprint vyke#elden ring sote#elden ring dlc#elden ring analysis
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did you watch lucifer season six and what are your thoughts pls and ty
Ahaha. Yes. Yes I did watch it. Then I cried for a literal hour and attempted to compose myself, only to start crying again when I lay down and kept on thinking about it. Then I had more feelings. Then I slept like the dead due to emotional trauma. Then I reblogged gifsets and had More feelings. Then @buffaluff and @flynnanimal watched it and also required emotional support due to drowning in their own tears. So, uh... we're all fine here now. How are you?
My main takeaway from the final season was the sheer amount of love for the characters, story, and fans that you could feel shining through all the episodes, and which made SUCH a refreshing change. I had feelings in my tags the other day about how a show about the devil was constantly goofy, hopeful, loving, and uplifting, rather than all the grimdark nonsense they could have easily done with it. (As I said, just imagine it as written by the GOT idiots?? NO THANK YOU.) The writing really loved everyone and wanted to give them a proper ending and emotional journey, and it wanted to show the fans that they weren't stupid for having invested six seasons of effort and emotion into this, and just... that is so much rarer than it should be? Compare all the movies and TV shows that treat their fans like the enemy, that want to outsmart them at all costs even if it means changing major plot elements, that ferociously guard spoilers and think that "shock value" means good writing, by throwing hackneyed cliche upon cliche and making everything Depressing, and just... Lucifer had its hiccups and slow points and missteps, of course, but I am SO glad they didn't do that. The entire show consisted of Lucifer slowly but steadily progressing toward being a better man, despite mistakes and setbacks and sometimes a little too much will-they-won't-they. (Season 3 was the only one where I got bored and skipped over the filler episodes with Pierce/Lucifer/Chloe in order to get to the end).
That is an essentially simple premise, but they stuck to it, and they didn't try to create more drama by randomly wrecking what they had already established. I wrote a fic all the way back in mid-season 2 (In Nomine Patris) that ended up predicting quite a few of the future characters who had not yet appeared on the show at that time, including Eve, Michael, and Azrael, and several plot points, including the very major one of Lucifer returning to hell for the sake of his daughter with Chloe. And while this might mean that I am just that good at guessing TV shows (I would like to think this....) it also means that the writers set expectations, followed through on those expectations, and didn't suddenly derail everything or turn it totally on its head just for the sake of cheap shocks. As we can all attest, they certainly caused PLENTY of drama, anguish, pain, and suffering, but they did it in a way that remained faithful to the overall premises of the story and the characters, and wanted to see them become the best versions of themselves. I cried my eyes out at the end and then thought, "hey, I might want to watch the whole series again," which, if you ask me, is the mark of doing your job right. There have been so few TV endings recently where I didn't immediately swear off the whole thing or have to pretend that canon didn't exist, so yeah.
As I said, it was just refreshing to watch something that had that essential deep generosity at its core, where the message is that everyone is worthy of love if they make the hard and painful effort to change and become better, and that even if earthly things feel small next to all this messy celestial drama, they still matter, and that you are loved no matter what. I loved that Amenadiel became God and Lucifer returned to hell as a choice in order to help all the trapped souls be able to work through their guilt and go to heaven. There were obviously certain echoes of The Good Place in that ending; I don't know if it was something they had planned all along or if the success of TGP, another series asking deep questions about life, death, morality, and human nature within the framework of a goofy heaven-and-hell sitcom, influenced it, but either way, it worked so well. Even if it tore my heart out and stomped on it on the ground, it was fitting and oh so lovely to see Lucifer, once the most selfish being in the entire universe, following in Linda's footsteps and becoming selflessly dedicated to helping other people. Just. Chef's kiss.
And of course, Deckerstar. The Hades and Persephone vibes were IMMACULATE this season, and while it did take Lucifer and Chloe the best part of four seasons to get together, they never significantly backslid, never had third-party issues or cheap cheating storylines once they were officially a couple, and Tom Ellis and Lauren German REALLY killed it this season in particular. It was never easy for them and sometimes the drama went on a little too long over the course of said six seasons, but the love story was beautiful and incredibly meaningful and always true to the fact that the actors and characters and writers (not to mention the fans) all loved it so much. They were so much the emotional heart of this, and when they went to hell together in episode 6x03 (where they turned into cartoons because wHAT even IS this show), Joe Henderson said in an interview that this was to give the fans a view into Lucifer and Chloe's future (after) lives post-6x10, and to offer them a basis to write fanfiction. I mean... the showrunner saying to the fans "here, we love you, have something to write fic about!" is likewise pretty shockingly rare. It's again an example of how this show always audaciously poked fun at itself, never took itself TOO seriously, and was always welcoming its fans and the people who loved it to do so, rather than making them feel stupid or taking joy in wrecking beloved characters or plots.
Obviously, I loved Rory, the badass lesbian half-angel goth Deckerstar child straight out of My Immortal (seriously, she was SO edgy, it was amazing), because of the fact that Lucifer's entire arc was always about feeling abandoned by his father and that he was going to have to face it for himself. Dorky Devil Dad Lucifer trying his absolute HARDEST to bond with his daughter was simultaneously hilarious, adorable, and heart-wrenching, and yet again, the Growth. We all remember when he could barely tolerate Trixie touching him, and now we're here. Also, any variation whatsoever of "this is just a brief moment of time that we must be apart, love is eternal and stronger than death and we will never really leave each other" as a line is guaranteed to make me bawl my eyes out. So that was fun.
I got a big kick out of Ghost Dan running around and trying to get everyone to see him, and had feelings about seeing him in heaven with Charlotte and his beloved Pudding Pops at the end. I had feelings about how they handled Ella finding out the truth (or rather demanding to know why nobody had told her) and of course, I obviously loved Maze and Eve and their goth/femme wedding and the fact that they got a good three-season romantic arc (indeed, I wanted more of them). My god, Trixie is SO BIG, she used to be a tiny little nugget. I love that Linda was the moral and emotional rock all along, from the first episode to the very last, and that Amenadiel was Deeply Vindicated when Charlie's wings appeared at his first birthday party. I love how Lucifer in s6 is absolute thousands of light years from Lucifer in s1. And as ever, Chloe was Perfect. I am happy that I spent six seasons with these characters and saw them become better, and that I was never made to feel like an idiot for trusting the writers to end everything in a beautiful and emotional way. Because, well. They did. Sure, maybe I could go back and pick at a plotline here or a detail there, but I don't terribly feel the need to do so? It might not have been perfect, but it was perfect, and I am so grateful that it existed.
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Maybe it's Western fandoms being Western, but it feels like Yuel is one of those guys who don't get written a lot anymore b/c 'problematic'. Also do release that fandisk 40k DLC, would buy it ngl. Seriously - There's a market out there for 'incels who learn to be better people by loving their fellow men', we're just content starved.
Ahaha, well, Yuel is very problematic (in Ashes, at least): he does a lot of awful things. He's the worst!!! ...But, despite that, I still love him a lot!!! In fact, I think his awfulnesss makes him even more compelling as a character, since it adds a bit of depth to him which I don't think is present with a lot of my other characters. I think he's very interesting!!! And, even though Yuel does do awful things, I don't think he's inherently awful I wanted to present him as a character who does possess compassion, and who can sympathise with other people (see the first sex scene in Ashes where he feels bad for the prostitute he's sleeping with, albeit briefly, because he can tell she's not enjoying herself and he assumes she must be quite unhappy), but he's carrying so much emotional baggage from his awful childhood that he doesn't have the mental bandwidth to feel bad for other people for too long. He's so caught up with his own problems it makes him more self-interested and insular than he would otherwise be, if he didn't have all this Trauma, which in turn makes him do a lot of selfish things. He has the potential to be good, but that potential gets squandered in Ashes, which imo is where a lot of the tragedy of the story comes from hahaha... Actually, one of my proofreaders told me I made Yuel read a bit too 'nicely' during that first sex scene. Their feedback was, "Well, he's obviously supposed to be an asshole, so I don't see why he's sympathising wih this prostitute at all. Wouldn't his character be more consistent if you removed all of that, and had him be more degrading and insulting to her?", which, like, felt like it was missing the point a bit ;-; Yuel is an asshole, but he's not a 2D villain wholly incapable of feeling for other people!!! He could be better, he just chooses to be worse!!! He's very complicated!!! Sorry for all the wordspam lol, I can talk about Yuel a lot... I put a lot of thought into him while I was writing him, so it makes me kind of sad when most of the reactions I see towards him are "He's an asshole" or "He's evil" lol... I don't blame people for disliking him, given he is, like I said, awful, but I can't bring myself to hate him! I feel for him too much ;w; And I might release that very ero 18+ DLC with him at some point, I'll have to see haha ;;;
#ask#the problematic fav#i like talking about yuel a lot#can you tell#i'm very subtle with my character bias lol#he's definitely my favourite hahaha ;;;;#all ashes and illusions
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honestly didnt even consider that the line between private/personal communication cause it seems so obvious to me in my mind eheheh. like. its about intended audience. a published work or speech is meant to be understood by large swathes of people.
a fisherman talking to his friend is just talking to his friend. it doesnt matter how he speaks or even if he gets his message across, unless the friend particularly wants to learn, in which case they are capable of, and have the opportunity to, ask further questions. even in a small group of people, they can get to know him as a person, and understand any quirks or nuances in the way he communicates. a crowd of strangers will not have that opportunity.
with a "larger audience," like a crowd of strangers or readers from across the world, that direct ability to clarify oneself after the fact becomes much more difficult (if not impossible), which is why getting it right the first time suddenly becomes important.
some posts can be intended to reach a large audience, in which case, (assuming the message itself is of high importance - not rlly talking about simplistic jokes or shitposts) paying attention to clear wording is important.
on the other hand, a lot of people post for themselves, they use (for example) tumblr as a diary, or to communicate only with friends, and thus might not worry about how others will interpret their words.
this, of course, has nothing to do with whether or not a text is classified as literature. literature is just textual art. i may have made a mistake in my word choice previously to give the opposite impression ahaha. like kafkas diaries. they werent meant for anyone else to see afaik, so his meaning in many places can be widely disputed, but they are still influential pieces of literature regardless. it doesnt matter that kafka wasnt clear with his meaning because, even though it has been read by others, it wasnt meant for them, it was meant for himself.
to be honest i dont understand the significance of what is or isnt a "term," just generally speaking ahah. it just seems like a word to me and if people understand what is meant by it the exact nuances are inconsequential. i get the point of the example, of course, i just found that interesting.
regarding the specific quote (im paraphrasing because tumblr wont let me copy text 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔) "you could go all in and say, fuck the rules, as long as its understandable, it is proper english" and like, yeah sure, i guess, but the way i see it, rules and consistency are inherently what make a text understandable. which is basically sort of like what you said in the last paragraph kind of. a little bit.
to elaborate, even if it seems like someone is disregarding all "rules" of english (idk. dril for example) by nature of their words having a meaning that can be understood, i think that inherently they must be following some set of rules. thats what language is to me i feel like. a set of guidelines for communication, which can and will be bent or evolved when needed, but maintain a core structure so that it can be widely understood. like whst you said! :Dhope that makes sense lol.
this is why i think some rules take priority over others. in most cases, capitalization can be removed without altering the meaning of a text negatively, sometimes even improving it (example: SANS SERIF FONTS, IN WHICH CAPITAL "i" AND LOWERCASE "L" ARE ENTIRELY INDISTINGUISHABLE) (of course, there are exceptions to this, there is a reason why people began to capitalize words ^_^)
its the same way with spelling, many spelling mistakes can maintain the intended meaning of the text, and even add meaning as opposed to taking it away, while some spelling mistakes are severe enough to make the text completely illegible.
the rules i value most, personally, are word choice and order because they can drastically change the meaning of a text, in a way i notice frequently online or in fiction. a classic example is the perceived difference between a "cabin in the woods" and a "cottage in the forest," or even with a more juvenile example, the difference between a "butt dial" and a "booty call."
these are really basic examples, i cant think of a more complex or applicable one off the top of my head. just imagine all those strongly worded tumblr posts that are trying to make a good point or spread a good message, but are so hateful and vitriolic in their words, that they even alienate those who agree with them. that would be an example of a situation where correcting wording would serve the purpose of the text and clarify its meaning from "gahh i hate this thing and all of you" to "we, collectively, should try to improve this thing." if that. makes sense. aha
i think what im most passionate about is like writing/rhetoric/argument. and linguistics, of course, are an intrinsic part of that :33. if not doing it myself, then analyzing it. my fave thing in the world i loved ap lang (the words ap lang might mean nothing to you idk if collegeboard chills with the french lol) (advanced placement language and composition - a college credit course about utilizing analyzing rhetoric in writing, for reference)
to clarify my opinion on "proper" english, idfc how people write in their personal lives/to friends or family/etc, but in professional/published works- or anything that is meant to be understood by a wider audience i think the clarity provided by adhering to certain grammatical rules and structure is veeerrry important eheheh. for the sake of ease of communication!
i try to be pretty careful about my word choice and order allll the time for that reason, even if i drop a lot of proper spelling/capitalization/punctuation for casual dialogue.
nonetheless, i think when people act intentionally obtuse just to shame people for speaking casually/colloquially/with slang/whatever thats stupid and evil etc. hate when people do that. i might not understand a lot of it, but it has the right to exist yk! it is just as worthy of respect ^_^
anyways i think this topic is very interesting as well its something i enjoy talking about :33
once again i dare ask, where does the professional/private begins and stops? thats a big debate we had in termonology class (terminology , the science of terms aka specialised & professional words). some terminologists argue that terms are only employed in the field by top-notch experts to top-notch experts and nothing else qualifies as a term. other terminologists argue that funk that: "spoonful" is a term because it belongs to the professional sector of cooking, disregarding how common/unspecialised it may be (they dont actually disregard it but yknow). also some guy who goes fishing as a hobby every week and starts talking about the components of his rod to his friends: not an expert (meaning doesn't work as a fisherman)! but using specialised words! should they count as terms or common words? should that be considered professional discussion cuz the terms or private discussion cuz he's talking to a friend? anyways it's just to say that the gap between professional and private discussions may not be so clear
on a same note, what is a wider audience? we're on the internet literally everyone could read that post, making it, by its nature, designed for a wide audience. should every tumblr post thus should have proper english? likewise, works that were only notes and scribbles, like Les Pensées by Pascal that were published post-mortem... it was not meant for a wider audience in that state and is not always using proper French. due to this, are thus Les Pensées not a piece of literature anymore? (kinda teasing w this paragraph hehe but you see the issue i'm poking)
like you said the most important task of a language is not to be proper. it is to be spoken but also to be effective. to enable communication. we could also go all in and dare say, funk the rules as long as a message or piece or literature is understandable, it is proper english!! arguably, every broken rule of proper english creates a new variation of english that could be its own proper variation english (like UK english, US english, NZ english, etc, coexist together as proper englishes)
also youre soso true about the shaming stuff. dawg that pisses me OFF. that's why fuck the Académie Française i wish i could dismember that bullshit of an institution. they are the ones "making the rules" of French but NONE OF THOSE FUCKERS ARE LINGUISTS AND ALSO ARE ALL 109 YEARS OLD HOW CAN THEY im cool im cool [insert the hades calming down gif]. anyways. language belongs to the people so whatever they do with it it's fine as long as they have fun and are themselves <3
on a final note i'm heavily arguing against you here but i think you're overall right nonetheless :p rigor may not always be needed in a language but languages need a strong basis and grammatical rules to exist and actually make the communication efficient!! i perfectly see your points and they are very legit
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Proof of Life, part 1
As a followup to this post where I muse about Moonshadow assassins being able to sense all life, I offer a more specific theory borne of recently rereading "Lunabloom" for the first time in a while. It always helps to let things sit for awhile and then return to them.
Heartbeats. I think Moonshadow elves can sense heartbeats.
In "Lunabloom," Runaan hops up a tree to fetch a star plum for Ethari's birthday, and while he's up there, he senses Rayla's pounding little heart.
He does have big ears, and I bet he also has great hearing, but I think something else is going on here, because there's a lot of evidence in Moonshadow culture that hearts are very important to them in many ways.
When pregnant people visit their doctors, one of the simplest and most reliable diagnostic tests is listening to the baby's heart with a stethoscope. Heartbeats alone can tell someone a lot about their current condition.
Lujanne does something similar with Zym's egg. She reaches toward it and holds her hand there for a while, clearly doing something that gives her the understanding that Zym isn't going to make it unless he can be freed from his egg very soon.
Which is what the Dragaang already knew, thanks to the animal doctor down in the village. Science and magic agreeing? What kind of progressive show is this? Ahaha, seriously that's pretty cool.
Then we've got Rayla sensing Runaan's presence on the castle battlement. She's absolutely certain he's there, and she's right.
It seems plausible at this point that an ability to sense a living creature's heartbeat might explain all of this.
But I'm nowhere near done, and here's where it gets angsty.
The real kicker for me isn't whether I think Moonshadow elves can sense heartbeats or not. It's that Viren believes they do!
When a clever antagonist who does his research believes something about a protagonist, they're probably onto something.
Viren's plan to swap Harrow's soul for another came from Claudia, so I assume she knows whatever he knows about how the Moonshadow assassins track targets. And Viren went to Harrow with Claudia's idea. He wouldn't do that unless he was confident in its success! He must know exactly how the Moonshadow assassins track their targets, and he must know that the soul-swap idea will stymie that sense of theirs.
I hadn't really put my finger on this specific detail before. I used to wonder if Moonshadow elves could sense souls. But if they could, and Viren successfully swapped Harrow's soul with someone else's, the assassins would know something was up with who was in whose body when they got close enough to the king, and Viren's swapping idea wouldn't fool them at all. He knows better than to use mere surprise on an enemy. He needs solid tactics.
But if the Moonshadow assassins could sense their target's heartbeat no matter where it was, they could indeed track it wherever their target tried to hide.
If the assassins burst into Harrow's chamber, tracking the king's physical heart by its beat and then Runaan stopped that heart, then it doesn't matter whose soul is inside Harrow's body. Not to the binding ribbon, and not to the assassins' oath. Once that specific heart stops beating, then the binding ribbon believes the assassins oath has been fulfilled and the targeted life has been taken. It turns red and releases the assassin.
Runaan, honey, what is that now, four ways to release? Come on.
If this mission had gone "perfectly," the assassins might have yeeted back home to Xadia and never been the wiser that Viren's soul-swap had spared King Harrow from death by putting his soul into someone else's body--a body with a different heartbeat! Viren's plan would have succeeded. He really could've saved Harrow's soul, and therefore his consciousness and personality. But there was no way to save his body from the assassins' blades. He never bothered to try that. He knew it was fruitless from the start.
If heartbeats are what matter to the oath and the ribbon, then, plotwise, it doesn't matter whether Viren meddled with Harrow's soul with a swap or not. The heart in King Harrow's chest stopped either way.
Runaan may believe that he killed Harrow properly. And maybe he actually did. Or maybe he saw something in that chamber that told him dark magic had messed with his target, and yet his binding and his vaunted honor compelled him to stop that particular heart anyway. Maybe Runaan realized exactly what he had to do to an innocent soul and how wrong it was. Maybe he realized it and still really wanted to stab Harrow's body for what he'd done to Avizandum. One day, one day, I believe we'll finally know what really went down in that royal chamber, and it's all I'm gonna talk about for the next week. Can't wait, man.
Until then, though, we're all getting the Moonshadow treatment regarding whether Harrow's soul is in Pip or not. Because, once again, it doesn't matter either way to the binding ribbon, and that binding ribbon has a plot-critical job to do. It's telling elves, humans, and dragons alike that Harrow is dead, and the plot is moving forward accordingly. If that's what really happened, then it's a straightforward development. If it's not what happened, then the more consistently everyone has reacted to the misdirection, the more exciting it's gonna be when Suddenly Boom, Harrow!
You know I'm voting for Dadbird, right? Dadbird. It's angstily delicious.
part 2, because image limit
#tdp meta#tdp theory#tdp#moonshadow elves#moonshadow assassins#tdp angst#runaan#viren#harrow#rayla#moonshadow hearts#lujanne#zym#dadbird#moonshadow lotuses#lunabloom
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Febri Talk Interview with Jin (Complete)
Commissioned by the lovely @sodasexual again!
Part 1: overwhelmed by the power of friendship in “The☆Doraemons: Kaitou Dorapan no Chousenjou!”
Musician and creator Jin has been bringing countless topical works to the world, including “Kagerou Project”. In the first part of this serial interview, we had him talk about a work from the series “The☆Doraemons”, which he experienced in his childhood and continued to be influenced by for a long time.
A work that unexpectedly became one of the origins of “Kagerou Project”.
——Jin-san, we would like to ask you about anime shows that have had an influence on you, following in order from your infancy onwards, so would the first one be “The☆Doraemons: Kaitou Dorapan no Chousenjou!” (hereon, “The☆Doraemons”), which came out in the year 1997?
Jin: That’s right. I watched this one in the theaters when I was either 7 or 8 years old. It’s an animation short that was screened together with “Doraemon: Nobita no Neji-maki Toshi Bounen-ki”, and it had one hell of an impact on me. At the time, I was living in an isolated island in Hokkaido called Rishiri Island, so just getting to watch a movie was quite a spectacle in itself (laughs). Actually, not many animes were broadcasted in Rishiri Island to begin with. There were few channels, and other than that, they aired those black-and-white period dramas in cable TV, I guess.
——No, I think that last one is a stretch (laughs). Did you watch “Doraemon” because you liked it from the start?
Jin: I liked it a lot. But the so-called “The☆Doraemons” is a spin-off about six friends of different colors. If I were to talk about the contents of “Kaitou Dorapan” in a summarized way, it’s the story of the Doraemons receiving a letter of challenge from an mysterious enemy called Dorapan, then completely getting caught into his trap and falling into a pinch... And, surprisingly, Doraemon isn’t active at all in this movie (laughs).
——Aah, it’s a work where the Doraemon friends are the main characters, right?
Jin: That’s right. A duo that didn’t have much popularity among the friends, Dora-med III and Dora-rinho, were set as the main characters in this one (laughs). Of course, I didn’t go watch it thinking that Doraemon would participate actively, but he almost doesn’t do anything. Instead, we were shown these two, who are something like sub-characters, in a big scuffle. But when it ended, I began to really like Dora-med III and Dora-rinho.
——Ahaha. So you totally got into it.
Jin: They had something called a “Friendship Telephone Card”, which was introduced as a key item, and this “friendship” thing made the back of my nose sting – that was the kind of feeling I got from it. Dorapan, the one who plays the role of villain in this movie, attempts to take control of robots from all over the world using the power of the Doraemons’ Friendship Telephone Card. However, there’s actually a mastermind behind the scenes, and one heroine is taken hostage, so Dorapan is doing bad deeds because he has no choice. We find this out in the middle of the movie, and at that moment, Dora-rinho goes, “I see; so that’s what was going on” and voluntarily tries to sacrifice himself. By believing in self-sacrificing friendship, everyone was able to reach a happy ending. That kind of storyline was truly wonderful... To tell you the truth, the initial motif of Kagerou Project (hereon “KagePro”) was this movie.
Making KagePro out of wanting to create his own “Doraemons”.
——Eeh, is that so!?
Jin: I created KagePro because I wanted to write about friendship, or rather, I wanted to make my own “Doraemons”. I started KagePro when I was about 20 years old, as I was vaguely beginning to realize that friendship apparently doesn’t exist at that point in life (laughs). Also, same goes to music, of course, but among the books I was reading back then, quite a lot of them had cynical views. Although these stories were my own taste, I also had the impression that there was a generational trend in them, like “people shouldn’t look at this if they’re dumb” and “those who understand this thing are admirable”. Therefore, I did my best to pretend to be like that at first, but I gradually grew tired of it...
——Ahaha. You were getting out of breath.
Jin: That’s right. So, when I looked back, I thought, “I do like ‘Kaitou Dorapan’ after all”. Therefore, if I was going to make something by myself, I decided to use it as the theme. In that sense, amongst the things I watched in my childhood, this work was a turning point. After watching it in the theater for the first time, I watched it over and over again as rental video, and because of this, I even now remember the moments when the sound effects come in.
——Generation-wise, you’re precisely from the generation of “The☆Doraemons”.
Jin: Yeah, spot-on. Also, the Doraemons from “The☆Doraemons” are comical and cute, but on the other hand, they show us that they are extremely strong-willed characters. Moreover, the Doraemons are rich in individuality – as in, everyone is irregular and there are some characters that make you go, “Isn’t that a problem?” amongst them. For example, the wolf Dora-nichov can’t speak human language (laughs).
——I see! Thinking that way, I feel like I can see the points in common with KagePro.
Jin: Also, all of them are purely good guys. The fact that they’re all good people and only have one enemy is pretty awesome. I believe that this kind of thing has an influence on the KagePro series as a whole.
Part 2: paralyzed by the hardboiled worldview of “Cowboy Bebop”.
In the second part of this interview series, where we ask Jin about anime works that influenced him, we have “Cowboy Bebop”, a masterpiece still loved by many fans even now. Here, Jin, who works as both a musician and creator, discusses thoroughly about the appeal of it.
Learning the attitude and stance for creating things.
——You talked about how not many animes were aired in your homeland, but did you keep watching anime after that?
Jin: If you mean watching on TV, anime was what I enjoyed most. However, the shows on broadcast were limited, so when it comes to series that left an impression on me, it would be things like “Card Captor Sakura”, which I used to watch with my little sister. “Kinnikuman” was also re-aired and I liked it a lot. As expected, I was weak to “friendship” (laughs). When they were fighting for the throne or whatever, man, I cried, for real. This happened around the time I was in grade school, but when I got into middle school, I stopped watching anime entirely.
——And when you came back to it, it was right on time for...
Jin: For the series that I pointed out as second in line, “Cowboy Bebop”. Because my father had made up his mind to get his hands on a satellite television called SKY Perfect TV! I think he probably wanted to watch Discovery Channel, but back then, he also included Animax in the contract. And, by sheer coincidence, a re-run of “Cowboy Bebop” began right at that timing, around 2004 or 2005, I guess. I was a middle schooler then, and there were lots of CMs that went like, “Broadcast begins on X day of X month!” together with that opening theme by Kanno Youko-san.
——So that’s what caught your interest.
Jin: There was also the fact I’d been disconnected from anime for a while, so I watched the first episode not knowing anything. And the contents weren’t aimed at children at all (laughs). Dude sprayed an eye-drop drug into his eyes, went, “UWAH—!” and died, like.
——Ahaha. It was a shock.
Jin: “Cowboy Bebop” was my first time coming in contact with a hardboiled worldview. I was like, “What’s this? It’s so cool”. Until then, I had this impression that “anime was made for kids”, but for the first time, I felt like I was watching a drama. Plus, the story was interesting, so I was super hooked as I watched it, and while doing so, the episode “Jamming with Edward” (episode 9) had an impact on me.
——Satou Dai-san was the one who wrote the script for it, right? You later came to work together with Satou-san in “LISTENERS”.
Jin: That’s right. It was such an impact that it had me thinking, “You wouldn’t be able to do that in a TV drama”. And so, this ninth episode had me completely addicted to it, and in the end, I watched it up to the finale. Later on, when I began my own creations, I noticed that what I was doing overlapped with “Cowboy Bebop”, and when this happened, I realized I was doing something quite risky (laughs). To top it off, just when I thought, “There must be lots of animes like that out there”, there was surprisingly none.
The coolness of affirming that KagePro has both pop and hardcore songs and that this is what it is about!
——Ahaha. Did “Cowboy Bebop” have any influence on you? For example, on the music side...
Jin: Hmm... if you put it that way, maybe not (laughs). Only in the variety aspect of the narrative, as people call it. Each one of the 26 episodes has wholly different colors, so to say. They felt like a gashapon from which you couldn’t tell what was coming out next.
——Like, although there were episodes where they threw in comedy to their hearts contentment, there were also episodes that showed vigorous action.
Jin: When I think about it, there are also episodes that go through a simple approach by way of genres that even I would know. I think the creators must’ve had a lot of fun when making them. So when it comes to what influenced me, it I think it was the variation of songs. I think there probably aren’t that many composers like me, who make songs one by one and have no idea what song to write next.
——As in, you do it while intentionally deciding to change the tone and genre?
Jin: Rather than that, I guess it happens naturally. I was always the type who doesn’t listen to the same genre all the time – it’s like, “Today is rock day; tomorrow is punk day”. I believe it’s possible that “Cowboy Bebop” made me think this kind of feeling was valid. The themes also don’t have to be consistent, and even if you turn upside-down the things that you had been asserting in a previous episode, their value and meaning will still hold. Moreover, I didn’t think that the people who made “Cowboy Bebop” had to plan this stuff up in their heads and study about it so that they could put it to action. It just so happened that when they drew out the things they like and lined them up, it turned out the way it did.
——So they didn’t do it while aiming for that, but rather, it turned out to have a sense of variety to it when it was finished.
Jin: And I think it’s amazing because it validates itself with that. So I guess being able to say all we have to say is what actually matters (laughs). If I were to affirm, “This is what KagePro is about!”, then that’d be pretty much it. Even though there are both pop and hardcore songs in KagePro, nobody can say, “That doesn’t feel like KagePro”. That’s why I think that the coolness of proudly declaring, “That’s what it is!” is something I learned from Bebop. Like, “This is what’s cool”. It feels like, on my own accord, I accepted something that was like a stance to be taken when you create these kinds of things.
Part 3: obsessing over “Tokyo Godfathers”, which had developments where one couldn’t predict what lay ahead.
This is the third part of the interview series where the creator Jin talks about works that influenced him. Here, he discusses about a hidden masterpiece from the director Kon Satoshi, which also had a great influence on “Kagerou Project” and which he encountered during his vocational school years, while living a wasteful life.
——The third work is “Tokyo Godfathers” by Director Kon Satoshi, but when was it that you watched it?
Jin: It was during my vocational school years. After graduating from high school, I attended a vocational music school located in Sapporo, but my upperclassmen from that school taught me many bad ways of having fun (laughs). I used to buy lots of sick equipment. Then, obviously, I’d run out of money, so I worked to death in part-time jobs, and well, lived a wasteful life (laughs), but during that time, a friend from my class lent me a DVD of “Hidamari Sketch”. At first, I told him, “Nah, I’m not too into this kinda stuff”, but when I took it home and watched it, I wailed aloud.
——Ahaha.
Jin: That’s why I asked Asumi Kana-san (who voices Yuno) to play KagePro’s main heroine... Anyhow, “Hidamari Sketch” became the cue for me to start watching anime again. And Director Kon Satoshi was from Sapporo, so it was probably being featured in a video shop. “Tokyo Godfathers” is a 2003 movie, but I saw it in the video in 2008 or 2009.
——What piqued your interest about it?
Jin: It was tremendously well-done and fun, and on top of that, it was sharp – a work like no other up until then, I thought. A dramatic production with parallel storylines focusing on different characters is incorporated within the span of about an hour and half as if it weren’t enough. During that same time, there were also works by Mitani Kouki-san and Isaka Koutarou-san’s “Golden Slumber” was being made into live action, so I believe that the so-called multi-protagonist story kind of approach was being used in all sorts of places. But even among them, “Tokyo Godfathers” was outstandingly interesting. “Where the heck is this story heading to?” You can’t tell at all until the end. Three homeless people pick up a baby on Christmas night and try to take her to her mother, but as the story goes on, it gets to a climax like, “Does she even have a mother in the first place?”. Plus, we find out that the person who they thought to be the mother and handed the baby over to is actually someone who kidnapped her from a hospital. The story just keeps changing over and over.
As the story progresses, the characters’ pasts become visible. It was interesting that the past and present were firmly bound together.
——We can’t predict what comes next at all, huh?
Jin: So, the topic will go back to KagePro now: when I thought of writing a novel, first of all, I decided that I “wanted to do a multi-protagonist story”. To make a story like the one from “The☆Doraemons” into a multi-protagonist story. Back then, I really liked the type of novels that went on in first person – such as works by Isaka-san or Morimi Tomihiko-san, and also Yonezawa Honobu-san.
——I see, I see.
Jin: On the other hand, “Tokyo Godfathers” is structured so that the characters’ pasts can be seen more and more as the story progresses. As if the story progresses with the past mini-arcs as the main focus. Like, “Person A and Person B were actually parent and child!” – it was interesting that the past and the present were bound together so firmly. Moreover, the developments go on at an incredible speed, and there’s a proper catharsis at the end. Also, all the characters that show up in it have rich facial expressions.
——To begin with, the fact that the three main characters are homeless is a twist.
Jin: In the first place, it starts with the main heroine spitting onto people in the streets from a rooftop (laughs). I really like those sharp-edged points of it too. “Tokyo Godfathers” has a content that can be written even if the protagonists were parent and child from an ordinary household. But through making the protagonists homeless, it became extremely vivid.
——It’s as if it turns them into down-to-earth characters and gives you a sensation that they connect with the audience’s “present”.
Jin: If I were to speak of other words by Director Kon Satoshi, I also think that “Paprika” and “Sennen Joyuu” are amazing. But on the other hand, I end up thinking, “They’re so wonderful”. As in, “Awesome, aren’t they? I don’t get them very well, though” (laughs). But “Tokyo Godfathers” is a candid form of entertainment that even an idiot like me can instantly get hooked on. The fact that I indeed want to keep doing entertainment resides strongly inside me.
——Listening to you talk like this, Jin-san, it makes me think that the books you read and movies you watched because you liked them reflect straightforwardly in your own manner of expressing yourself.
Jin: I myself think that I’m usually straightforward (laughs). Rather than “I want it to be seen like this” or “I want people to think of it like that”, I prioritize “I want to do this” and “this is fun”, so to say. By multiplying “The☆Doraemons” to “Tokyo Godfathers”, it turned into “Kagerou Project” (laughs). I feel like that’s my foundation.
#kagerou project#kagepro#mekakucity actors#kagerou daze#jin#shizen no teki p#interview#my translation#cowboy bebop#doraemon#tokyo godfathers#satoshi kon
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