#i miss you so much raye <3 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

luvashli · 5 days ago

Text

ESCAPISM

SYNOPSIS -> After a painful breakup with Heeseung, you lose yourself in a wild night of partying. Niki becomes your distraction, leading to heated dances and passionate kisses. But as morning comes, you’re left wondering if it was just an escape or something more.

PAIRING -> nonidol!ni-ki x fem!reader (ex!heeseung)

GENRE -> oneshot, romance, drama, angst, suggestive, emotional, mature

STARTED -> 2/12/2025

STATUS -> complete

WC -> 2.7k

Note -> This oneshot is inspired by the song “Escapism” by Raye. While the story contains suggestive themes and intense emotional tension, it does not include explicit smut.

click here for the song “Escapism” by Raye

click here for part 2

click here for part 3

Masterlist

It happened last night.

You sat across from Heeseung in your favorite café, the one you always went to after his late-night practices. The air between you was thick—he was fidgeting with the sleeve of his hoodie, avoiding your gaze, while you stirred your coffee without drinking it.

You could feel it before he even said the words.

“Y/N… we need to talk.”

Your fingers tensed around your spoon. Those words never meant anything good.

“About what?” you asked, trying to keep your voice steady.

Heeseung finally looked at you then, and for the first time in a long time, you didn’t see the warmth that used to be there. Instead, you saw hesitation. Guilt.

“This… us,” he murmured, rubbing the back of his neck.

Your breath caught in your throat.

“Heeseung, what are you saying?”

He sighed heavily, finally meeting your eyes. “I think we should end this.”

The words hit harder than you expected.

“Why?” you whispered.

Heeseung exhaled sharply, frustration flickering across his face. “You know why, Y/N. This… this isn’t working anymore. I don’t have time. You don’t have time. We barely see each other, and when we do, we’re just fighting or pretending like everything’s fine. It’s not fine.”

Your stomach twisted. Yes, things had been tense lately. Late-night arguments over missed dates, his phone always buzzing with notifications he wouldn’t let you see, the way he seemed distant even when he was right in front of you.

But you loved him. And you thought he still loved you, too.

“You’re giving up on us?” you asked, your voice cracking.

His jaw tightened. “I just… I don’t think we’re good for each other anymore.”

You felt like you were drowning.

“So that’s it?”

Heeseung swallowed hard, looking down at the table. He wouldn’t even fight for you.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly.

And that was the part that hurt the most. He wasn’t angry, wasn’t cruel. He was just… done.

You walked out before he could see the tears spill down your face.

---

The city hums beneath you, neon lights flashing in sync with the pounding bass inside the club. The music is loud—loud enough to drown out your thoughts, loud enough to replace the echoes of his voice from last night.

"I think we should end this."

Cold. Empty. Like the months you spent loving him meant nothing.

So now you’re here. Dressed in sin, drowning in liquor, looking for something—someone—to make you forget.

The champagne fizzes in your glass as you swirl it absentmindedly, perched at the bar with your legs crossed, your heels dangling from your feet. You don’t trust the people you came with. They’re friends of friends, girls who smile too wide and whisper too much. But that doesn’t matter. Tonight, nothing matters.

Then, he walks in.

Ni-ki.

He moves like he owns the room—tall, lean, and effortlessly confident. His dark eyes scan the crowd, taking in everything, calculating. But then they land on you.

And they stay.

A smirk tugs at the corner of his lips as he approaches, his presence commanding in a way that makes your skin tingle. He leans against the bar beside you, close enough that you catch the scent of his cologne—something clean, sharp, expensive.

"Buy me a drink?" you ask, tilting your head.

"I was just about to ask you the same thing," he replies smoothly.

He orders two wines without breaking eye contact, and the bartender slides them over. You take a sip, letting the bitter warmth spread through you, letting it replace the ache in your chest.

"Rough night?" he muses, watching you.

You exhale a laugh, shaking your head. "More like a rough life."

He doesn’t push for details. He just clinks his glass against yours. "To forgetting, then."

And just like that, you fall into the night with him.

---

The alcohol makes everything blur—makes it easier to laugh, easier to let go. One drink turns into three, into five. You’re on the dance floor now, the bass vibrates through your chest, the rhythm pulsing like a second heartbeat. The club is packed—bodies moving, drinks spilling, neon lights flashing across the dance floor in a kaleidoscope of color. But none of it matters.

Because the moment Ni-ki pulls you into him, hands firm on your waist, the entire world narrows down to just the two of you.

Your body moves instinctively to the music, swaying with the beat, your hands resting lightly on his shoulders. Ni-ki’s grip tightens, pulling you closer until there’s no space left between you, only heat and the electric tension that’s been building between you all night.

His dark eyes lock onto yours, and there’s something wicked in them—something teasing, something daring. He’s testing you, seeing how far you’ll let this go.

So you decide to push back.

You turn in his arms, pressing your back against his chest, rolling your hips in slow, deliberate circles. His sharp inhale is almost lost beneath the pounding music, but you feel it. You feel everything—his hands spreading across your stomach, his breath against the shell of your ear, the way his fingers flex like he’s barely holding himself together.

“You know what you’re doing, don’t you?” he murmurs, voice low, laced with amusement.

You glance over your shoulder, a smirk playing on your lips. “Maybe.”

His response is immediate. One hand slides down, fingers splaying over your hip, guiding your movements with a firm, calculated grip. He’s in control now, and he wants you to know it.

You let your head fall back against his shoulder as you move together, the tension between you tightening with every sway, every roll of your hips against his. The heat of his body is overwhelming, the scent of his cologne intoxicating, and you know you’re playing a dangerous game.

But that’s the whole point, isn’t it?

Ni-ki leans down, his lips brushing against your jaw, the touch featherlight, teasing. His fingers trail up your arm, over your bare shoulder, until they find the strap of your dress, tugging it just enough to send a shiver down your spine.

“You should be careful,” he murmurs, his voice a mix of warning and promise.

You turn in his arms again, chest pressed against his, fingers curling into the collar of his jacket. The air between you is thick, heavy, charged. Your heart pounds, and you know—you know—that if you lean in just a little more, his lips will be on yours.

“And if I don’t want to be careful?” you challenge, tilting your chin up, eyes locked onto his.

Ni-ki’s smirk deepens.

“Then we have a problem.”

His hands tighten on your waist, pulling you impossibly closer as the music thrums around you, drowning out everything except the way he feels against you. The way he looks at you—like he already knows exactly how this night is going to end.

And for once, you don’t care about the consequences.

So you let yourself get lost in him, in the music, in the escape.

Because tonight, that’s all that matters.

___

By the time you stumble out of the club, giggling as the cold night air bites at your skin, you’re too far gone to care about anything but him. His hand finds yours, steadying you as you both slip into the back of a waiting taxi.

The city lights blur past the window, but you’re not looking at them. You’re looking at him. The sharp cut of his jaw, the way his lips part slightly as he watches you.

The air inside the taxi is thick with tension, crackling like electricity between you and Ni-ki. The city blurs past outside the window, neon lights flashing across his sharp features, casting shadows across his cheekbones. His hand rests on your thigh, just barely, his fingers tracing absentminded circles against your skin.

It’s nothing. It’s everything.

Your breath hitches, your body already reacting to the unspoken pull between you. You don’t know what it is about him—maybe it’s the way he looks at you, like he’s daring you to do something reckless, or maybe it’s the way he hasn’t asked you any questions, hasn’t pried into the wounds you’re trying to drown in champagne and cheap thrills.

“Are you always like this?” he asks suddenly, voice smooth, teasing.

You turn to him, tilting your head slightly. “Only when I don’t want to feel.”

His eyes flicker with something—understanding, maybe. A silent acknowledgment that he knows what it’s like to run from something, too.

You don’t ask what he’s running from. And he doesn’t ask about you.

His gaze flickers down to your lips, and something dark flickers in his eyes. You don’t miss the way his fingers tighten slightly against your thigh, the way his tongue flicks out to wet his lips.

You should wait. You should think. But you don’t want to.

Instead, you shift closer, closing the space between you until your breaths mix, until you can feel the warmth of him against your skin.

“And right now?” he murmurs, voice barely above a whisper.

“Right now, I don’t want to feel anything at all,” you breathe.

That’s all it takes.

Ni-ki moves first. His hand slides up, fingers grazing the bare skin of your thigh, igniting something in you that’s been burning all night. He catches your chin between his fingers, tilting your head up just enough to bring his lips to yours.

The kiss is slow at first, deliberate—like he’s testing you, like he’s seeing how far you’ll let this go. But you don’t hold back. You press into him, fingers curling into the collar of his jacket, pulling him closer, deeper.

And just like that, the tension snaps.

He groans softly against your lips as his hands slide to your waist, tugging you toward him, his grip firm, possessive. The taxi is moving too fast, or maybe not fast enough, because you can’t get close enough to him, can’t feel enough of him.

You bite his lower lip, just enough to make him inhale sharply, his fingers tightening around you in response. His hands are warm, rough in a way that makes you shiver, in a way that makes you forget everything except the way he’s touching you.

Your back presses against the cool leather of the taxi seat as he deepens the kiss, his tongue brushing against yours, sending heat spiraling through you. His fingers slip beneath the hem of your dress, tracing slow, agonizing patterns along the inside of your thigh, teasing.

“You’re dangerous,” he murmurs against your lips, his breath uneven.

You smirk, tilting your head back slightly, your own hands slipping beneath his shirt, tracing the hard lines of his abdomen. “And you like it.”

His responding chuckle is dark, low. “Yeah. I do.”

The driver clears his throat loudly. You barely register it, too caught up in the feeling of Ni-ki’s mouth on your skin, his lips trailing along your jaw, down the column of your throat.

“We’re almost there,” the driver mutters.

You exhale sharply, forcing yourself to pull away, your pulse racing. Ni-ki watches you, his lips swollen, his breathing uneven, his fingers still pressing into your thigh like he doesn’t want to let go just yet.

“Hotel,” he says to the driver, voice rough. “Now.”

And as the taxi speeds up, you realize something.

You may not want to feel.

But with Ni-ki, you’re going to.

___

The elevator ride is suffocating.

Not because there’s no air, but because every inch of space between you and Ni-ki is filled with tension so thick, it’s almost unbearable. His fingers press into your waist, his body heat radiating through the thin fabric of your dress. You can feel his breath against your temple, the scent of liquor and something undeniably him mixing in the confined space.

Neither of you speak. You don’t need to.

The ding of the elevator doors opening barely registers before you’re moving, stepping out onto the hotel floor with Ni-ki’s hand gripping yours, leading you down the dimly lit hallway. His pace is hurried, purposeful, like he’s barely holding himself together. Like he’s been waiting for this all night.

The second the hotel door swings shut behind you, the restraint shatters.

Ni-ki is on you in an instant, pressing you against the door with a force that knocks the breath from your lungs. His lips crash against yours, hungry, demanding, his hands gripping your waist like he’s afraid you’ll disappear if he lets go.

You moan into the kiss, fingers threading into his dark hair, tugging just enough to make him growl low in his throat. The sound sends a rush of heat straight through you, making your knees weak. You don’t want to think. You don’t want to feel anything but him.

Ni-ki’s hands are everywhere—gripping your hips, sliding up your sides, tracing over your curves like he’s memorizing every inch of you. His fingers hook into the straps of your dress, dragging them down your shoulders, his lips trailing after them, kissing a slow, burning path down your collarbone.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he breathes against your skin, voice rough with desire.

Your head tips back against the door as his mouth finds the sensitive spot on your neck, his teeth grazing just enough to make you shiver. Your hands move instinctively, slipping under his jacket, pushing it off his shoulders. He shrugs it off easily, then tugs his shirt over his head, revealing toned skin and sharp lines that make your mouth go dry.

You don’t get the chance to admire him for long before he’s lifting you effortlessly, his hands gripping your thighs as he carries you toward the bed. You gasp, arms wrapping around his shoulders, but he just smirks, pressing another hot kiss to your lips as he lays you down against the cool sheets.

“Tell me you want this,” he murmurs, hovering above you, his dark eyes locked onto yours.

You don’t hesitate.

“I want this,” you whisper. “I want you.”

That’s all he needs to hear.

Ni-ki kisses you again, slower this time, savoring the way you melt beneath him. His hands explore your body with an intoxicating mix of tenderness and urgency, fingers skimming down your waist, gripping your thighs, leaving a trail of fire everywhere he touches.

He takes his time, pulling your dress down inch by inch, watching the fabric slip away from your body with a hunger that makes your pulse race. His lips follow the path of his hands, pressing open-mouthed kisses along your stomach, your hips, teasing you, torturing you.

“You’re driving me insane,” he mutters against your skin, his voice raw.

You smirk, arching into him, dragging your nails down his back. “Then do something about it.”

And he does.

The night dissolves into a blur of heat and tangled sheets, of whispered names and desperate touches, of lips and hands and bodies moving together in perfect rhythm. Every kiss, every touch, every breath is an escape—an escape from reality, from heartbreak, from the pain you refuse to acknowledge.

And for a few fleeting hours, nothing else matters.

Not Heeseung.

Not the past.

Not the consequences.

Only this. Only him.

---

Morning comes too soon.

The sun cuts through the curtains, painting the room in harsh light. Your head is pounding, your throat dry, your body aching in a way that isn’t just physical.

You blink, trying to remember. Flashes of last night come back in pieces—his hands, his lips, the way he whispered your name like it meant something.

Beside you, Ni-ki stirs. His arm drapes lazily over your waist, his face buried in the pillow. Peaceful. Unbothered. Like this is just another night for him.

And maybe that’s all it was.

You slip out of bed, pulling the sheet around you as you search for your dress. The air is heavy, suffocating, and the second you find your phone, you see the unread messages from him.

Heeseung.

I shouldn’t have ended things like that.

Can we talk?

You inhale sharply, your fingers hovering over the screen.

Last night, you thought you had buried the pain under alcohol, under Ni-ki’s touch. But now, in the quiet of the morning, the weight of everything settles back onto your chest.

Your chest tightens.

You should feel something. Anger. Sadness. Relief. But instead, there’s just... nothing.

Because this was never about getting over him.

It was about escaping.

And maybe, just maybe, you’re still running.

Would you like a part two?? Let me know :))

Open taglist

If you’d like to be tagged in future updates for other story, let me know by:

- Sending me a message or

- Dropping a comment on this post (or any story)

@crimson-reaper576 @luvleyylina

295 notes · View notes

jamie-ann-mason · 17 days ago

Text

Broken Hearts That Never Mend

Music is such a piercing feeling.

Music is food for the soul and comfort to the heart. Music places meaning to words and feelings that are unexpressible in minute by minute life.

On the surface, playlists and sharing playlists are something that are done on a whim and seemingly without thought, out of boredom or behind platonic and social intentions.

For me, the purpose and the beauty of playlists and sharing playlists have a significant and deeper meaning and intent.

"Why do you relate to sad songs?"

This question was asked by an ex of mine during a Saturday afternoon we spent together sharing music with one another.

Some of the songs I shared were -

And perhaps one of my most favorite songs -

I was caught off guard to question asked and unprepared to provide an answer. I had never been asked this before by anyone. I've shared music and made mixed tapes and CDs seemingly forever, sharing them with those special to me. But in this moment, I struggled to put words together.

When people see you, and I mean really see you, it is a humbling experience. So much so that you can't formulate thoughts and emotions into words through personal insecurities or perhaps embarrassment.

I have never categorized music by sad songs, upbeat, dance, or contemporary. Music does not hold a genre or artist. Instead, I identify music through the words and the meaning those words provide to me.

Music is insanely personal and intimate, and sharing a 3 minute track gives you a private look inside my soul and thoughts. And if you look hard enough behind the words, you will find me.

Music is similar to a scavenger hunt or a puzzle. With each song evident of a precious memory, lesson learned, or trauma experienced, giving emotions and feelings through validation and meaning.

So, why do I relate to sad songs? Simple, because I understand the meaning behind them.

I understand the loss.

I understand being heartbroken.

I understand being left.

I sympathize with the writer, who is writing my story vicariously through osmosis using my feelings. I have lived through alcohol abuse and loss in Collin Raye's "Little Rock" and remember Richard Marx's " Summer Nights," reminiscing a summer break and romance in 1991 filled with 4 months of passion and fire. I would have married, but instead, they went away to college, and I never saw them again.

What has eluded me, though, is love. I have yet to find or catch the permanent concept.

I don't understand love notes, flowers, intimate gestures, or loyalty. I don't understand someone staying, and I don't believe I love you.

I know not being good enough.

I know crying myself to sleep.

I know loneliness.

I know one-sided love affairs.

What I don't know is love.

I can appreciate Diana Ross and Lionel Richie's "Endless Love," but the feelings miss and listening to it turns into pain and wishful thinking.

My ex. The person who asked me this question. They left, too. Actually, they cheated on me and then left.

But it was this relationship that taught me the most about myself and the most about love. Believe it or not, I don't hate them for what they did, and it was me who came out a better person. I am appreciative and grateful for the lessons I learned through them, and I do not regret sharing songs and pieces of my soul with them.

For years, I have burned the same candle in my window sill at home. It's subtle and has no meaning to anyone but me.

I hope my faceless twin flame sees the light before the flame burns itself out.

13 notes · View notes

deadcactuswalking · 4 months ago

Text

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 12/10/2024 (KSI is in the Thick of It)

For a seventh consecutive week, Sabrina Carpenter holds onto the #1 with the smash hit “Taste”… and otherwise, it’s a weird one. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

content warning: language, references to real murder cases and Prime energy drinks

Rundown

As always, we start this week with our notable dropouts, those being songs that exited the UK Top 75 (which is what I cover) after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40. For this episode, we bid adieu to “Big Dawgs” by Hanumankind and Kalmi, “Ain’t No Love in Oklahoma” by Luke Combs, “Yellow” by Coldplay (though, funnily, not because the song is old, more on that later), and finally, the surprisingly long-running “Scared to Start” by Michael Marcagi.

As for our gains and returns… okay, let’s cover re-entries first because there is a bizarre story regarding the middling region of this chart. Firstly, we have some other stragglers returning for unrelated reasons that feel more typical, like “Riptide” by Vance Joy at #75, “Pretty Slowly” by Benson Boone at #71, and “Prada” by casso, RAYE and D-Block Europe taking some virality back all the way up at #34 – the songs so far have peaked at #10, #43 and #2 respectively.

Secondly, we have a bit of a true crime documentary on our hands. Television writer Ryan Murphy has an anthology series on Netflix regarding real crime stories, typically famous murderers, with the most recent September series focusing on the brothers Lyle and Erik Menendez. This Monsters series has proved controversial since the first season focused on Jeffrey Dahmer in questionable ways, but the second edition has faced criticism itself. Variety reports that Erik himself disapproves of the portrayal of his brother, with whom he murdered their parents in 1989. This may explain why a hit parade from the late 80s has exploded onto the higher-middle section of the chart, particularly due to the fact that several songs from famous pop music fraudsters Milli Vanilli have resurged.

I imagine anyone reading this series will know the story of the manufactured pop duo, but for a summary, Frank Farian, who also curated Boney M., had recorded music by session musicians that was promoted by two aspiring entertainers from Europe, him propping them up as the members of the “Milli Vanilli” duo when they did not by and large contribute to the records, especially not the hits, which all came out after their GRAMMYs were awarded to them. Safe to say they were revoked, and when they were caught lip-syncing to a looped track, their career collapsed and one half, Rob, sadly passed a few years after. The other member, Fab, has stayed long enough in the public eye for the music made under the controversial moniker to have maybe not critical acclaim but a public interest that is much more sympathetic to the two as victims of industry bullshit than the public was back in the 90s. This reappraisal of the story led to a documentary, a biopic and a completely unrelated true crime drama is the final push, it seems.

From 1988 to 1990 – their stardom really only lasted around two years before it all came crashing down – they had six hits in the UK, the first of which is perhaps their most famous because of how involved it was in their downfall. It’s “Girl You Know it’s True”, which peaked at #3 and bizarrely is not charting this week as you may expect – it’s definitely my favourite and an iconic hit of theirs… well, maybe not “theirs”. Instead, we have “Girl I’m Gonna Miss You” (sometimes listed without the “Girl” at the start) back at #40, which thanks to error, the Official Charts Company is recognising as a new song. The song originally peaked at #2 for three weeks in 1989, being just pipped at the post by Jive Bunny and the Mastermixers’ “That’s What I Like” because, yes, pop music has always been kind of a joke, and the late 80s exemplify that the best, and then “All Around the World” by Lisa Stansfield. Meanwhile, “Blame it on the Rain” actually reaches a new peak as it returns to #47 – yes, really, it only made it to #52 in 1989. My fun fact that I want to add is that the duo guest-starred – right before the scandal – in the Super Mario Bros. 3 tie-in cartoon, where they serve as Wendy Koopa’s favourite band. Subsequent airings took their songs out but had the animations retained, meaning that they mouthed along to instrumentals… which may be the funniest way to accidentally reference the fact they were, in essence, voiceless in their own music.

Now this series hasn’t just boosted those two poor saps, not that I can imagine Fab takes home any royalties from it. In fact, the highest track re-entering apart from “Prada” is by Oceanic rock icons Crowded House, whose massive hit “Don’t Dream it’s Over”, a #1 in their partial home of New Zealand and a #2 Stateside, is back at #37. It first reached the top 40 in 1987, a year after release, peaking at #27 in the UK, whilst The Firm’s “Star Trekkin’” was #1. Like I said, the late 80s were an often comical era for popular music, but I should say that this was replaced by the Pet Shop Boys’ “It’s a Sin” the week after. Crowded House weren’t done, however: they would have a series of hit singles and albums, and singer Paul Young took his 1991 cover of their initial hit to #20, whilst U2’s “The Fly” was #1. A development of clout for the original did reach a point where Crowded House released a greatest-hits compilation in 1996 and with it came a remixed single. I initially could not figure out why there was a 1996 re-release, but from finding a confused Steve Hoffman Music Forums user who had posted about owning the remixed single, I discovered that Spike Stent had remixed the track to justify a re-release that did peak higher at #25, whilst Robson & Jerome were #1 with “What Becomes of the Broken Hearted”. Meanwhile, in 1999, Lou Bega’s iconic “Mambo No. 5” was at the top during the week wherein a rework simply titled “Don’t Dream” by Irish band Dove debuted and peaked at #37. Personally, the first version will always be the classic for me, I definitely prefer it to the mostly dull Milli Vanilli tracks, and I am aware none of these will last, but it’s a fun story, right?

Backstory aside, and sheesh, a lot of backstory it was, we also have some normal gains, those being “I Only Smoke When I Drink” by nimino at #61, “Who” by Jimin at #31, “Diet Pepsi” by Addison Rae at #15, “I Love You, I’m Sorry” by Gracie Abrams at #11, “Sailor Song” by Gigi Perez at #6, and of course, thanks to the new Coldplay albums, “WE PRAY” with what may as well be 2024’s version of Band Aid is at #20 and “feelslikeimfallinginlove” is at #18, we’ll discuss more about Moon Music later.

Now for the top five, that should be more familiar: Sabrina’s at #5 and #4 with “Please Please Please” and “Espresso”, “Die with a Smile” by Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars has reached #3, Chappell Roan’s “Good Luck, Babe!” still stalls out at #2 and Ms. Carpenter of course reigns at #1.

New Entries

#74 – “N o C h i l l” – PARTYNEXTDOOR

Produced by Nonstop da Hitman, Alex Lustig and Bass Charity

Back in my day, the only things stylized like that were vaporwave edits of Bart Simpson. Drake protégé and fellow Canadian crooner PARTYNEXTDOOR has been active since the early 2010s in alternative R&B, with this being a sleeper hit from his most recent record, his fourth self-titled album that gathered more buzz for its anally penetrative album cover than its music. This is becoming a genuine Bubbling Under hit though so there must be something in the music to make the backshots worth it, surely? Well, no, this is pretty much your bog-standard PARTYNEXTDOOR song. His imperfect, fumbled Auto-Tuned warble would be potentially fun over a more organic instrumental, but layering him over a sea of pitch-shifted stray vocal blips and pads, alongside a trap slab that stifles any momentum, makes these R&B slow jams more like slogs than anything sensual. It also influenced PARTY to leave a lot of empty space for whatever reason, when the song’s instrumental, apart from some admittedly nice string inflections back in the unbefitting mix, and especially its content, mostly just about how he treats his girl to materialistic items, does not warrant much contemplation. He comes to a sturdier flow in the second verse, but when the song’s main conceit is the dumb joke that ever since PND got his girlfriend that “ice”, she’s had “no chill”… no, I can’t take anything here as intended, and especially not a spoken word outro that sounds like a phone call from his partner but reflects on absolutely none of the song’s content, or anything actually interesting either! I haven’t been able to take PARTY seriously since “Ratchet Happy Birthday” anyway, but this is not exactly helping matters.

#52 – “You Go Your Way” – Perrie

Produced by Alfie Russel and Joy Anonymous

At least it’s not a riff on the Fleetwood Mac classic of a similar title. Former Little Mixer Perrie Edwards has her third solo track out, after the underperformance of “Tears” which I personally really enjoyed, and whilst the sound of this track, which really becomes a fuzz in the mix thanks to too many elements in the chorus, gives me even less idea of where her solo sound will be, it does show that perhaps she doesn’t have much of an idea either. This is a cover of EDM duo Joy Anonymous’ “JOY (Get Over Me)”, with the abrupt, jerky chorus and dated production being inherited nearly entirely from that track, and whilst I like the bassline, the busy drums and barely decipherable flush of instruments in the chorus make this a real head-scratcher in the mixing department. The song could probably double as a song about not just being cautiously willing to depart from her ex-boyfriend, but also one regarding the Little Mix breakup and inevitable reunion, and whilst Edwards is clearly a capable vocalist, there really just isn’t much space, often quite literally, for her to work with, and absolutely not anything of lyrical interest, outside of the nervousness in the content fitting into the awkward, staccato feel of many of the song’s inflections, which is a cool touch, also present in the original, that does pair up with the detail in “Tears” as well. Sadly, Edwards’ vocals get somewhat crushed and treated not particularly well in the mix, with a really overwhelming chorus full of belting and overlapping vocal riffs that ends up just being straight-up hard to listen to. Perhaps a fine song in another context, but this anthemic single loses me primarily in production and final touches, which might just be the worst place to lose me as it makes the potential even clearer.

#43 – “ALL MY LOVE” – Coldplay

Produced by Bill Rahko, Daniel Green, Max Martin, ILYA, Oscar Holter and Michael Ilbert

It should be no surprise to anyone that Moon Music, the latest output from British cultural landmarks and possibly still regarded as a rock band, Coldplay, has sold over 200,000 copies and planted itself immediately at #1 on the albums chart. I did listen to the record, and it was of intrigue to me what would end up charting, since they really picked the only obvious singles as the singles… and this is largely an ambient album in its approach: tracks are purposefully unimpactful and feathery, atmospheric and sometimes lengthy and multi-part pseudo-epics that intend to reach bliss and serenity instead of functioning as hit songs or anthems like they’ve gone for at least once in their albums prior. I suppose that’s what “WE PRAY” is for this record, but “ALL MY LOVE” is a piano ballad about the undefeatable love Chris Martin shares with his partner: they can go through anything, they’ll still have his unconditional love. It’s a strong devotion for such a light, softening breeze of a ballad, which was initially teased as a piano solo improvised after a failed stage invasion during a live performance of an unrelated track. Now, I’ve said before that I really enjoy Ghost Stories and Coldplay’s lighter, less bombastic and arena-ready side, which did lead me to finding this album comforting, including this track, though “AETERNA”, “JUPiTER”, “GOOD FEELiNGS” with Ayra Starr and the one with the rainbow emoji as the title were my personal favourites. That doesn’t rule out “ALL MY LOVE” however as it is still a cute track. The backing vocals from H.E.R. are a nice touch to make the love feel requited, giving Martin’s typically solemn and warbly tone a bed of soothing comfort that decorates much of the album, and whilst the chorus is structured and sung almost as if it were a standard, the delicate guitar and really immaculately-mixed string orchestra swell place this thoroughly in their post-Britpop specialty. They even go for a slow burn like always, though it reflects less on the song’s overwhelming emotion than it does just on acceptance that love is beautiful and weathers many a storm that nature couldn’t. Call me old and sappy, but that’s sometimes nice to hear, and Coldplay are well within their mode in their later career to sell that, and quite blissfully. There’s a live version on the “Full Moon” deluxe edition, and a quirky lyric video, but other than that, I’m unsure to whether it’s being pushed as a single so far – it would be a damn good choice because adult contemporary radio would be all over something like this, and for good reason. It’s really pleasant, and if you want a good night’s sleep, I recommend spinning the album back to front.

#14 – “Thick of It” – KSI featuring Trippie Redd

Produced by Ray Michael Djan Jr.

The wonderful thing about YouTubers making music is that you really could go in wild and interesting directions. It’s a form of outsider music, really: giving entertainers famous for other talents and unique personalities the budget and access to recording equipment and materials could really lead to some interesting songs, especially given the subject matter could relate to their personality and/or content, the music could reflect their own probably diverse taste, and even if the end product isn’t great, it would still reflect their unique character. KSI hasn’t done that since “Lamborghini”. In what I can only presume is an effort to be taken more seriously, English YouTuber KSI of the “Sidemen”, also known as JJ, has been making pop-friendly fluff for years, nearly all of which I’ve covered in some form on this show. I like the song he made with Craig David, I suppose, but he will forever be the guy who said on a charting single that he’s “hella horny like a rhino watching porn”.

I have looked into this single specifically because there is discourse and criticism surrounding it, particularly with his food and drink collaborations with other YouTube scandal magnets like Logan Paul and Mr. Beast, that has led to more of an outrage marketing tactic: be everywhere, promote this song, and be really annoying about it, it’s clearly enough of a strategy to get to the top 20. Hell, it may be a strategy I prefer from JJ since it at least inflects the meme into his music in a way that could be at least fun or easily seen as novelty instead of the admirably sincere moves made into the industry from him and his celebrity guest stars for what is now half a decade. With that said, I don’t think this one goes for either approach: in fact, it finds quite an awkward middle ground.

Ignoring the fact that the video contains a massive Prime bottle frozen in an ice cube – yes, really – I cannot fully tell if this is a joke song or genuine attempt at pop stardom. There would be a boyish charm to his inept vocals if not for how egregiously layered and multi-tracked they are to sound like a Lil Nas X caricature, there would be some laughs to the Flo Rida-level lyrics if he didn’t deliver references to his own energy drink brand with a straight face. There would be some fun to find in the guitar-tinged drill beat not dissimilar to, say, 24kGoldn, if it wasn’t so smothered in the mix by a rumbling bass competing with overly trinketized drums and quadrupled vocal takes. The verses are so short, rendering the song primarily as a hook machine, and yes, it is catchy, but the lyrics don’t merit that or stick in your head as anything but sound: consider what he’s actually saying – if you don’t know anything about ice, how do you have bling? What does “They know me where it snows, I skied in and they froze” really mean? What brag is that, JJ? That your biggest fans are in the Alps? Once you commit so much to the jewellery-as-ice metaphor, you start to make zero sense. I will give credit to the fact that Trippie Redd delivers here, as whilst they have collaborated prior, and Trippie does anything for a check – ask MGK – he has some genuine grit to his whiny bellowing that lets him get away with the backing “Woo!” ad-libs and the actually okay content in his short verse, which is performed partially in an accent that reminds you that, yes, Trippie Redd really is from Ohio. In fact, he saves the song for me, even if there is some irony in that he dismisses his foes as “cold” when that’s the song’s main conceit.

With all that said, it does not matter. The song is listenable and catchy enough to work as meme fodder, it has a high-budget music video and big-name guest star that will attract investors, and it still is, despite all its flaws, somewhat entertaining, and completely kid-friendly. “Thick of It” really isn’t an awful song – it’s just KSI’s first step into becoming an ITV game show host. When you’re not taken seriously as an actor, singer or boxer, and he doesn’t even seem to want to be particularly, light entertainment may just be the way out of YouTuber purgatory for our guy here. Or get Craig David back. That’d be fun.

Conclusion

Best of the Week goes to Coldplay for “ALL MY LOVE”, which isn’t great but outside of some elements of Perrie’s, may be the only new entry worth defending. As far as the worst, I suppose it is “N o C h i l l” by PARTYNEXTDOOR. KSI’s song really is far from as bad as it’s painted out to be. As for what’s on the horizon, I think the UK Singles Chart will look completely different, but it’ll also still be the charts. Oh, and The Kid LAROI. For now, thank you for reading, long live Cola Boyy, and I’ll see you next week!

#uk singles chart #pop music #song review #trippie redd #ksi #thick of it #partynextdoor #perrie edwards #you go your way #coldplay #moon music era #all my love #monsters: the lyle and erik menendez story #milli vanilli

3 notes · View notes

dkehoe · 11 months ago

Text

Who knew April was going to have so many great romance releases? I surely did not! It was kind of tough to pick out only five but here goes. My Top 5 book I am most anticipating reading when they come out next month. #5 BOOK RELEASE This is the first book in a series that’s spinning off from the Rock Chick series which is one of my faves by this author. I’m waiting on pins and needles and have already purchased this book. Yay! Synopsis: Rachel Armstrong has a burning need to right the world’s wrongs. Thus, she becomes the Avenging Angel.And maybe she’s a bit too cocky about it. While riding a hunch about the identity of a kidnapper, she runs into Julien “Cap” Jackson, who was trained by the team at Nightingale Investigations in Denver. Now he’s a full-fledged member at their newly opened Phoenix branch. It takes Cap a beat to realize Raye’s the woman for him. It takes Raye a little longer (but just a little) to figure out how she feels about Cap. As Raye introduces Cap to her crazy posse of found family and his new home in the Valley of the Sun, Cap struggles with his protective streak. Because Raye has no intention to stop doing what she can to save the world. But there’s a mysterious entity out there who has discovered what Raye is up to, and they’ve become very interested. Not to mention, women are going missing in Phoenix, and it seems like the police aren’t taking it seriously. Raye believes someone should. So she recruits her best friend Luna, and between making coffees, mixing cocktails, planning parties and enduring family interventions (along with reunions), the Avenging Angels unite to ride to the rescue. Click this link to purchase this book!* Avenging Angel #4 BOOK RELEASE I really enjoyed this author’s previous novel Mrs. Nash’s Ashes. It was quirky and humorous and I’m hoping for a similar feel with this very different sounding novel. You read this synopsis and tell me that it doesn’t make you curious? Synopsis: Fake spirit medium Gretchen Acorn is happy to help when her best (read: wealthiest) client hires her to investigate the unexplained phenomena preventing the sale of her bridge partner’s struggling goat farm. Gretchen may be a fraud, but she’d like to think she’s a beneficentone. So if “cleansing” the property will help a nice old man finally retire and put some much-needed cash in her pockets at the same time, who’s she to say no?Of course, it turns out said bridge partner isn’t the kindly AARP member Gretchen imagined—Charlie Waybill is young, hot as hell, and extremely unconvinced that Gretchen can communicate with the dead. (Which, fair.) Except, to her surprise, Gretchen finds herself face-to-face with Everett: the very real, very chatty ghost that’s been wreaking havoc during every open house. And he wants her to help ensure Charlie avoids the same family curse that’s had Everett haunting Gilded Creek since the 1920s.Now, Gretchen has one month to convince Charlie he can’t sell the property. Unfortunately, hard work and honesty seem to be the way to win over the stubborn farmer—not exactly Gretchen’s strengths. But trust isn’t the only thing growing between them, and the risk of losing Charlie to the spirit realm looms over Gretchen almost as annoyingly as Everett himself. To save the goat farm, its friendly phantom, and the man she’s beginning to love, Gretchen will need to pull off the greatest con of her life: being fully, genuinely herself. Click this link to purchase this book!* Happy Medium #3 BOOK RELEASE The Cheat Sheet and Practice Makes Perfect were both great, so who wouldn’t want to try out Sarah Adams newest book release? I will be first in line! Synopsis: Nora Mackenzie’s entire career lies in the hands of famous NFL tight end Derek Pender, who also happens to be her extremely hot college ex-boyfriend. Nora didn’t end things as gracefully as she could have back then, and now it has come back to haunt her. Derek is her first client as an official full-time sports agent and he’s holding a grudge...

View On WordPress

#amazon #books #contemporary romance #goodreads #My Top 5 Most Anticipated Book Releases-April&039;24 #reading #romance

0 notes

aplateoflasagna · 1 year ago

Text

At this point it's pretty clear we will get another T5 comeback! 😍😍 Probably as a pre release to the next album like they did for REBOOT.

Treasure has hinted at it a few times during the Japan tour + we know that T5 members have had schedules together without the other members + Junghwan and Jaehyuk have dyed their hair 👀

I'll miss Hwanie's long black hair 😭 it was soooo pretty. Though the shorter brown is pretty too 🙈

Jaehyuk went for blond eventhough I remember him saying after Hello era that he would never bleach his hair again because it was so painful. Conclusion ➡️ the only reason he would put himself through that again is for a T5 comeback 💙

I'm happy that T5's debut was successful enough that YG decided to let them have a comeback. I'm over the moon that the T5 members know we loved the unit 🥰 They seemed so genuinely grateful their last few concerts "If you cheer loud enough, maybe we'll come back!" ❤️❤️

I'm so ready for another elegant but sexy concept, you have no idea 😍 I wonder how they could possibly top MOVE, I don't know if it can be done 🙈 Will Junkyu compose the song again? Will Jaehyuk get to rap again? We know he loves it, but (logically) doesn't get the chance to in Treasure songs because they already got 3 rappers. (When Yoshi gifted him his rap part in Stupid I was so happy for Jaehyuk and so grateful to Yoshi 🙏) I can't wait for all T5 members to get a chance to shine individually again 💙

Treasure also revealed they are working on other songs, especially a HyunHaYo unit that will definitely be on the album 💜 I really want them to get an official debut as a rapunit 🙏 or at least another MV like they did for VolKno. It seemed possible when YG asked fans to submit names for an official unit name for HyunHaYo a few months ago but since then we haven't heard anything yet. Haruto told us today that the demo is on Hyunsuk's computer so Hyunsuk probably made the song again like the last two times so you know it'll be amazing 🔥 (I've been listening to Escapism by RAYE and 070 Shake and I would love for HyunHaYo to try something like that)

Also, on the subject of units, I need an official Jeongwoo x Haruto debut 🙏 Again, I've been listening to Creepin' by Metro Boomin, The Weeknd and 21 Savage and I just know they would ace this concept 💯 Jeongwoo's soulful voice and Haruto's deep rap voice 👌 + Can you imagine the MV? Something like 'Baby Goodnight' from GD and TOP or smth👀

I (as was everyone else) was expecting them to go on a world tour with REBOOT but now it seems that that was never the plan. A concert hall in the Philippines i think it was announced Treasure will have a concert there in August or September so it seems like after REBOOT tour in Japan ends in March, they'll first release an album in the summer and do an Asia tour after that.

When YG annouced that Treasure signed with an American label last year for promotions in America, I was so sure the world tour would be in 2024 but now it seems America and Europe will have to wait another year 😭 I don't even care anymore YG please just let me see them at least once 🙏 I will pay you so much money please just let me see them live at least once 🙏🙏🙏

#TREASURE #T5 #I think Yoshi also said he was working on a song for the album? ❤️❤️#Our hardworking men 💪#A new album would also explain why some members keep leaving for Korea earlier than the others #Hyunsuk especially #Please keep your health in mind Hyunsuk 🥺#He immediately went back to work after going to the hospital to get an IV drip 🙁 please don't overwork yourself

0 notes

jwscrobbles · 7 years ago

Text

TOP 100 SONGS FOR 2017

Well, I’m back at this again. Another year. Another 100 songs. At first glimpse, I actually thought this year in music was a little lackluster. My weekly chart fell off during the summer (that happens when you’re too busy adulting.) But on closer inspection, this year was a solid year for music. One of the bests actually. The top 20 is super solid. Yeah, there were times where I felt it was 2010 all over again: new Grizzly Bear, new Arcade Fire, new The XX. And then, it felt like 2014 with the ubiquitous sounds of Childish Gambino and Jhene Aiko. 2016 finally brought a Kaytranada LP and 2017 brought a full-length for Sampha! Hell, even TLC came back. But what I’ve realize are two things.

1) Each year, the music feels way more personal than before. Donald Glover and Solange are back all the more insightful with their commentary. Joey Bada$$ is just as indicting but specifically post-election, Dan Auerbach and the Weeknd are more crossover than ever before, and the 1975, Emeli Sande, and the XX feel more real with the level of heartbreak. As you age, music seems even more true to life than ever before. 2) But I’ve also realized I just have a running library of tens of favorites and sometimes the new material is lackluster and other times, it is spot on.

With that being said, there are some new inductees to that library who helped the year quickly pass. Gallant: So much of his material came from 2016 and I remember hearing about his featured work more than his own material. But he landed a Grammy nod (whatever) just as I was discovering him and then he dropped some new stuff. Smooth R&B crooner who started the year off right for me. GoldLink: Suddenly, the late winter turned into a fascination with GoldLink. His style and his delivery consistently caught my ear. He’s been around for a minute but somehow this year seemed to spark more attention for him and deservedly so. Stormzy: I reconnected with my UK scene and found me some new Tinie Tempah. But the winter seemed to be all about Stormzy and he was what I kept hearing about. He’s got some cool stuff but I find his collaborations more engaging than his solo work. Jax Jones: So I find DJs and EDM so passe compared to 25, 20, hell even 10 years ago. And Jax Jones has been around for some time, but somehow he just clicked for me this year and I was feeling him all spring and early summer.

SZA: Then came Solana. She has a style that’s been missing in mainstream R&B and Hip Hop. And she has moments where she feels like she came from the 90s. Granted so much hip hop now samples 90s music and literally has been doing it for the past five years. But Solana feels like she fits right in.

H.E.R.: So I’ll admit, I’m late to Gabriella but although I’m late, it’s better than never. She has been my fascination of the fall. I hope she keeps it up.

Just for me to take notice, although there are no solos, there are a ton of collaborations and productions with Travis Scott and Quavo (and yet I have no feelings good or bad for Migos). But I say that, because GoldLink and Gallant appeared in multiple collaborations for 2016.

With that being said, here is 2017 100 scrobbled songs.

And yes, I’m still that dork who lives this way daily. 

1 Childish Gambino – REDBONE 1/8/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WvWGpgGdR9s

2 Solange - CRANES IN THE SJY 1/6/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0qrinhNnOM

3 Jax Jones/Raye - U DONT KNOW ME 3/16/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WH9C6oLEtOg

4 Daniel Caesar/Kali Uchis - GET YOU 1/27/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQFVqltOXRg

5 The xx – ON HOLD 1/6/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blJKoXWlqJk

6 Kendrick Lamar – HUMBLE. 5/13/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tvTRZJ-4EyI

7 John Mayer – LOVE ON THE WEEKEND 1/8/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Wa4RKHk2zI

8 Bruno Mars – THAT’S WHAT I LIKE 2/25/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMivT7MJ41M

9 Gallany/Tabl/Eric Nam – CAVE ME IN 3/19/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQunCjYdAcU

10 Zak Abel – UNSTABLE (MALEEK BERRY MIX) 2/6/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8KwNLoTiQc

11 Swindle/Daley – SYMPATHY 2/10/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UfgQOIsfWws 12 Tinie Tempah/Tinashe – TEXT FROM YOUR EX 2/6/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x64HLhaEGc0

13 Stormzy/Kehlani/Lily Allen – CIGARETTES AND CUSH 3/192017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLXQHThL3FU

14 Ten City – THAT’S THE WAY LOVE IS (UNDERGROUND MIX) 6/22/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99jHPfkZX3Y

15 GoldLink – PALM TREES 12/28/2016 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OX6_tfJaFaM

16 Ari Lennox – YUENGLING 1/6/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9w2aArOrow4

17 Jamiroquai – AUTOMATON 1/27/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9GkH7qG8HO0

18 Gallant/Jhene Aiko – SKIPPING STONES 12/28/2016 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9GkH7qG8HO0

19 The Weeknd/Daft Punk – I FEEL IT COMING 1/8/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qFLhGq0060w

20 The 1975 – SOMEBODY ELSE 3/11/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bimd2nZirT4

21 Major Lazer/Travis Scott/Camila Cabello/Quavo – KNOW NO BETTER 7/30/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sgp0WDMH88g

22 DJ Khaled/Beyonce/Jay-Z – SHINING 6/24/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=va47vNPm6YA

23 Chance the Rapper/Know Fortune – ALL NIGHT 2/13/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkIUnRRH6l4

24 The xx – I DARE YOU 5/5/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqflFMhkqHM

25 Arcade Fire – EVERYTHING NOW 7/10/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zC30BYR3CUk

26 AlunaGeorge/Leikeli47/Dreezy – MEAN WHAT I MEAN 2/25/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NbtEy1Wdqj0

27 Joe Hertz/Jones – SIMPLE 4/28/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kPKzCS-9kk

28 SZA/Travis Scott – LOVE GALORE 7/11/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHXfCOjb3fk

29 GoldLink/April George – ROUGH SOUL 2/1/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwm7MXwTw9M

30 Janet Jackson – BLACK EAGLE 10/1/2015 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1FrgeMksDwE

31 DJ Cassidy/Chromeo – FUTURE IS MINE 11/26/2016 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GMCc_yDrehk

32 Russ – LOSIN CONTROL 7/11/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IdGIZjVWrzY

33 Jamie xx/Young Thug/Popcaan – I KNOW THERE’S GONNA BE (GOOD TIMES) 2/6/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjLBB-TMa84

34 Joey Bada$$ - LAND OF THE FREE 2/6/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TeQW-9Cg8qs

35 Thundercat/Wiz Khalifa – DRINK DAT 3/8/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_pxpTZpdZ-U

36 The Chainsmokers/Coldplay – SOMETHING JUST LIKE THIS 3/30/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FM7MFYoylVs

37 Syd – ALL ABOUT ME 2/10/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNIOrsxsa0A

38 Dan Auerbach – SHINE ON ME 7/11/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfVRCDb0G8Q

39 TLC/Snoop Dogg – WAY BACK 4/29/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibR0rYNMJpI

40 Maroon 5/Kendrick Lamar – DON’T WANNA KNOW 1/6/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ANS9sSJA9Yc

41 Amine – CAROLINE 2/7/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3j8ecF8Wt4E

42 Frank Ocean – SELF CONTROL 12/28/2016 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BME88lS6aVY

43 Mila J – KICKIN’ BACK 3/11/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T11NVNwBJ38

44 Empire of the Sun – TWO VINES 1/8/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T48WTcC243o

45 The Shins – NAME FOR YOU 2/3/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HbFhEUs6u1k

46 Phoenix – J-BOY 5/5/3017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwjMiWgCi8E

47 Calvin Harris/Frank Ocean/Migos – SLIDE 3/30/3017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Ee4QjCEHHc

48 J Hus – DID YOU SEE 5/7/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3rk6_Ax0mQo

49 GoldLink/Brent Faiyaz/Shy Glizzy – CREW 7/11/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhNqbe6QENY

50 Kehlani – DO YOU DIRTY 2/1/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7hIG5xhPwGQ

51 J Cole – FALSE PROPHETS 1/13/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOtMpFNSlCA

52 Drake – PASSIONFRUIT 5/1/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8RQQqvx6Y8

53 Kari Faux – SUPPLIER 11/24/2016 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Kdm7zI64SU

54 Jax Jones/Mike Dunn/MNEK – HOUSE WORK 8/25/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOtMpFNSlCA

55 Tom Misch – SOUTH OF THE RIVER 9/4/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdJHvUTWx6c

56 Calvin Harris/Pharrell/Katy Perry/Big Sean – FEELS 7/30/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozv4q2ov3Mk

57 A Tribe Called Quest – WE THE PEOPLE… 1/13/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vO2Su3erRIA

58 Gourdan Banks – KEEP YOU IN MIND 11/18/2016 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ErUKBfLLk_k

59 Croquet Club – SUMMER 6/4/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXCP3G1LMTk

60 Red Hot Chili Peppers – GO ROBOT 1/29/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HI-8CVixZ5o

61 Zedd/Troye Sivan – PAPERCUTT 7/10/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HwtljkGZJnI

62 Rae Sremmurd/Gucci Mane – BLACK BEATLES 11/27/2016 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BDQ7KgvwfaQ

63 Grizzly Bear – MOURNING SOUND 7/11/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BDQ7KgvwfaQ

64 Sampha – TIMMY’S PRAYER 1/30/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQXDVZf3akg

65 Ray Blk – PATIENCE (FREESTYLE) 2/26/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WnXiFZfTB0I

66 Kraak & Smaak/Cleopold – ALONE WITH YOU 7/11/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VqMxzsrYf7I

67 PartyNextDoor/Drake – COME AND SEE ME 1/8/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ockhq8E2FrA

68 Stefflon Don/French Montana – HURTIN’ ME 9/5/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNdLFbEZC2Y

69 Roy Davis Jr/Preven Everett- GABRIEL (LIVE GARAGE MIX) – 9/1/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FwxpMIEZ9fg

70 Foster the People – DOING IT FOR THE MONEY 7/11/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJ1VorN9Cl0

71 The Chainsmokers/Daya – DON’T LET ME DOWN 10/18/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Io0fBr1XBUA

72 Ghetts/Shakka – KNOW MY TING 4/29/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hWUGgVFM-E

73 Sia – NEVER GIVE UP 2/5/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6Ol3eprKiw

74 Ne-Yo – ANOTHER LOVE SONG 9/12/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jI1GyMlggo

75 Jhene Aiko – WHILE WE’RE YOUNG 9/23/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=liWueHXJDyw

76 Mayer Hawthorne – TIME FOR LOVE 2/10/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=liWueHXJDyw

77 Jhene Aiko – MANIAC 3/19/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4X_jVXgBQD8

78 H.E.R. – FACTS 10/16/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_xG0crdnrE

79 Beyonce – ALL NIGHT 2/26/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gM89Q5Eng_M

80 Joey Purp/Chance the Rapper – GIRLS @ 4/29/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPR0ZcFtSZQ

81 Solange/Lil Wayne – MAD 10/1/2016 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTqNemB6mio

82 Amindi K. Fro$t/Tessellated & Valleyz – PINE AND GINGER 9/5/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U00JRRATURY

83 Bruno Mars – 24K MAGIC 1/6/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UqyT8IEBkvY

84 Missy Elliot/Lamb – I’M BETTER 3/14/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwyPsUd9LAk

85 Craig David/Sigala – AIN’T GIVING UP 10/17/2016 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FC9fc12YYC4

86 K.D.A./Tinashe – JUST SAY 8/24/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eXc-4d-uM4c

87 LeToya Luckett – BACK 2 LIFE 3/14/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bswSdMuWJEk

88 Jessie Ware – MIDNIGHT 9/23/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eXc-4d-uM4c

89 Alessia Cara – SCARS TO YOUR BEAUTIFUL 10/17/2016 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MWASeaYuHZo

90 Syd – ON THE ROAD 9/23/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZAnY0FTjjk

91 Jidenna/Quavo – THE LET OUT 3/14/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWIqrKhP2Kg

92 Emeli Sande – HURTS 10/11/2016 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9TqUlGyWSEk

93 The Killers – THE MAN 7/10/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3xcybdis1k

94 Janet Jackson – BROKEN HEART HEALS 10/1/2015 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgM0U3ymURo

95 The Weeknd – ROCKIN’ 8/2/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MhOoyPHNdeo

96 Selena Gomez – BAD LIAR 8/25/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZKXkD6EgBk

97 French Montana/Pharrell – BRING DEM THINGS 9/3/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=85xr7hprRyc

98 SZA – The Weekend 12/5/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMD63TwzB1o

99 Miguel/Travis Scott- SKYWALKER 11/19/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=76O3w4pt0CA

100 J Cole – DÉJÀ VU 2/1/2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZ_4vNb14gI

0 notes

keziahcore · 2 years ago

Note

NOT ME LEAVING FOR TAYLOR IN AN HOUR AHHHHHHH

also ily and i’ll miss you but i PROMISE i’m not ignoring you the next 3 days!! i’ll just be out of the country lol

I'M SO EXCITED FOR UUUU RAYE OMFGGGG

and omg yes yes don't worry about me and fr just enjoy soo much ilymmmm 🩷🩷💌💌💌

#kez & raye's night spam #raye 🤍#keziahanswers

1 note · View note

dysfunctionalbatfam · 5 years ago

Note

19 for the 70 question tag... (if you want) Love you!

Awe, I love you MORE 💓💓 Hope it’s going well for you, Raye!

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

It sounds fun, and there’s a lot of things I’d like to change and a lot of timelines I’d like to explore, but when it all comes down to if I would really do it, no - it’s too risky and time travel isn’t something people have any research on, so no one could really know what would happen, and most likely because I won’t be able to take the precautional measures necessary, something is bound to go wrong.

70: Is there anyone you would die for?

This is a really interesting question because it’s something easier said than done. Most people might say that they would die for close friends and family, but when it’s time to act, it’s a lot harder than one would think, even if they knew that beforehand. However, I would like to say “yes,” because I owe everything to this person.

Overall, these were very fun choices! Thank you so much for asking <33 :D

#ask game #i miss you so much raye <3 #tw death

2 notes · View notes

devilrising · 3 years ago

Note

For me the top of the list of things that feel gay and homophobic at the same time is Darco MyFatherWillHearAboutThis Malfoy

I really enjoyed this prompt! Thank you Raye for the beta <3

Warnings: drunken shenanigans, spin the bottle, and first kisses

***

The Room of Requirement is packed with students, speakers, and tables covered with cheap food and alcohol. Harry isn’t entirely sure who thought asking for Muggle speakers was a good idea, but the Room had supplied massive ones that take up a good amount of space. Occasionally a Pureblood bumps into them, and Harry takes great delight in watching them flinch and rush away.

When Hermione had suggested a party to help build interhouse relationships for the Eighth Years, Harry had been skeptical at best. When Ron had readily agreed to it, and even made sure the Slytherins were included, Harry was suspicious. There’s no way Ron was willing to hang out with Slytherins without an ulterior motive.

Part of Harry thinks he just wants to get into Hermione’s pants.

Face twisting in disgust at the thought, Harry forces himself back to the current situation. Most of the Eighth Years are gathered in a semi-circle, sitting in front of a roaring fire. There’s a bottle in the middle of the group, presently ignored in favour of the couple snogging. Harry didn’t see the point in playing Spin the Bottle. He had protested and claimed that they were too old to be making people kiss their classmates, but no one had wanted to listen to him.

Now though, after a few shots of Firewhiskey burning through his veins, he doesn’t think it’s such a bad idea anymore. If nothing else, it has finally made Dean and Seamus realise how stupid they are for each other.

“Alright alright! Keep it family friendly!” Hermione calls out, voice slightly slurred. The boys finally break apart, Dean squeezing Seamus’ butt once before moving back to his spot in the circle. Seamus flushes bright red, and after a moment, crawls after him.

“Spin the bottle!” Blaise shouts, grinning as it's set in motion again.

With all eyes turned to watch who it lands on, Harry takes a moment to scan the room again. There’s the circle of gay girls also playing spin the bottle, another group of people playing a drinking game of some sort, and not much else happening. The flash of blond hair he’s looking for is nowhere to be found, and he sighs under his breath. Bloody Malfoy must be invisible. Or not interested in getting drunk.

Harry forces his eyes back to his own circle, the group of boys staring in horror at the bottle. Theodore Nott and Terry Boot. Harry bites back a shocked laugh. It had surprised absolutely no one when both these boys came out, but surprised everyone when they started dating. Then it had all promptly fallen apart. And now they have to kiss because of a drunk party game. Harry feels slightly sorry for them, even if it’s also hilarious.

He watches as Terry wrinkles his nose in disgust, but shuffles forward on his knees to sit in the centre of the circle. Theo follows a moment later, scowling at Terry.

“It can’t be too bad Theo! You used to be constantly snogging him!”

“Not the time, Blaise,” Ron murmurs from where he’s standing with Hermione next to the fireplace. Ron may be bisexual, and therefore meets the criteria to join the game, but there’s no way he’d look at anyone else now he’s with Hermione. The two are nausea inducing, and Harry loves them.

Harry watches as Terry scoffs, fists his hands in Theodore’s shirt, and tugs him close. The kiss is a harsh peck, over in a second. Theo looks stunned, and then he’s hauling Terry back in. This time, it’s closer to snogging, and earns a few wolf whistles.

“I told you it wouldn’t be so bad,” Blaise mutters. “Bloody boys.”

“Blaise, you’re a boy,” Harry whispers pointedly.

Blaise just shrugs.

“Move it on lads,” Dean calls out.

Terry pulls away first, putting some distance between himself and Theo. And then he’s lifting a hand and slapping Theo across the cheek.

Theodore swears loudly, standing up and storming back to his spot next to Blaise. I guess they aren’t getting back together.

Cheers erupt from the circle of girls, and Harry turns to find Pansy and Lavender snogging. He watches as Pansy gets her hands in Lavender’s hair and tugs, making her moan. Hermione is quick to break it up, and the girls settle back down together, Pansy practically sitting in Lavender’s lap.

“Spin the bottle!” Anthony Goldstein calls, and Blaise takes great delight in grabbing it and giving a hard spin.

Harry zones out again, letting the game play around him. He briefly sees Blaise crawling into the circle, but he doesn’t know who the other player is. He glances around the room again. Where the fuck is Malfoy?

***

“You know what’s both gay and homophobic?” Theodore is asking a little while later, between rounds. Harry thinks having to kiss Dean Thomas is pretty high on his list. Dean a) has a boyfriend (as of 15 minutes ago) and b) is as far away from Harry’s type as possible. He won’t say that though; he would hate to offend one of his roommates of eight years.

“Guitars!”

The circle cheers.

“How?” Harry asks. He’s definitely missing something.

“You know. All those homophobic men who play them, but the gays love guitars.” Theo shakes his head like it should be obvious.

“Here I was thinking you’d say being forced to snog your ex!” Justin Finch-Fletchley called from across the room.

Theo huffs, looking down at the floor as his ears become pink.

An awkward cough draws Harry’s attention to someone outside the circle. Malfoy. Harry freezes, unable to tear his eyes away from Malfoy. His hair is for once not slicked back, but purposely tousled, hanging down over his forehead. His Hogwarts robes have been swapped out for a mesh black shirt and sinfully tight jeans. Harry can see his nipples through the shirt, and the sight makes his mouth water.

“You know what I think is gay and homophobic at the same time?” Ron, drunk off his arse, asks the group.

Everyone pauses, waiting.

“Draco MyFatherWillHearAboutThis Malfoy!”

The circle explodes with laughter and catcalls. All eyes turn to Malfoy, and Harry watches as the boys rake their eyes over his outfit. Something heavy settles and twists in Harry’s gut.

Malfoy flushes a lovely colour of pink, stuttering. No words actually manage to form, and after a few attempts at talking, he just rolls his eyes.

“Join the circle Draco!” Blaise says, his words nearly slurred beyond recognition. Theo nods enthusiastically, and soon everyone else is practically begging Malfoy to join. With an exaggerated sigh, Malfoy makes his way to the circle, sitting down between Theo and Blaise.

Great. Time to leave.

Harry shuffles back slowly, hoping not to draw any attention to himself. The universe has other plans though, as all eyes immediately fix on him.

Harry clears his throat. “I’m uh- I’m gonna go find Hermione. It’s getting late.” He feels his cheeks heating up, and hopes that the flush will be hidden under his dark skin. This wasn’t supposed to happen.

“Nope. Absolutely not. It’s just gotten interesting!” Seamus declares, his accent made all the more worse with excess alcohol. Dean, who Seamus is using as a chair, nods along.

“Yeah Potter, play one more round with us!” Anthony pipes up, a smirk playing on his lips.

A hand grabs Harry’s wrist and tugs him back to the floor. Harry resumes his position in the circle with a scowl. He can’t believe this is happening. Except, it’s not at all surprising.

“What do you say, Draco spins this time?” Blaise asks the group, and everyone nods. Everyone except Harry, who can’t think of a worse idea, but no one seems to care.

Malfoy turns to look at Blaise, his expression hidden from Harry; after a slight hesitation, he reaches forward. Draco’s pale, delicate hands look beautiful next to the bottle. Harry shakes his head. I must be really drunk.

The bottle spins and spins and spins. Harry nearly goes dizzy from watching it move, trying to predict where it will end up. Eventually it begins to slow down. Harry tracks its movements, his eyes flitting from Terry to Anthony to Dean to Seamus to…

“No. Nuh uh, no way.” All faces once again turn to Harry, and he glares at all of them.

“You have to Harry! It’s the rules!” Theo says.

“I am not kissing Malfoy.”

“Why not, Potter?” Blaise asks, eyes innocently--worryingly--large.

“Because it’s Malfoy.”

Harry turns to find Malfoy’s eyes, who is staring right at him. His gaze burns into Harry, setting him alight. I can’t do this.

“What’s wrong Potter?” Malfoy asks, popping the ‘p’ in an imitation of the way he used to say it. Now though, after the antagonism of their rivalry has faded to banter and bickering, Malfoy says it more gently. It always makes something in Harry’s brain melt. “Afraid I’ll be too good?” He lifts a single eyebrow, thin lips curving into a smirk.

“As if Malfoy. You’ve probably never kissed anyone before!” Harry knows it’s weak, but his brain is mostly offline thanks to the Firewhiskey and the idea of what’s about to happen. Because of course he’s going to kiss Malfoy.

“Trust me Potter, he has.”

Harry isn’t sure who said it, but he glares in the general direction. The image of Draco kissing someone other than him turns his mood sour. The weight in his gut reappears.

Draco is grinning when Harry looks at him again. He moves onto his knees and shuffles into the centre of the circle. “Scared, Potter?”

Harry scowls, pushing aside all rational thought, and joins him. “You wish, Malfoy.”

Harry doesn’t have another second to think, because Draco is grabbing the collar of Harry’s shirt and pulling him in. Fire floods Harry’s veins as his lips meet Draco’s. His fingers twitch, and he threads them into Draco’s breath-taking hair. The kiss turns heated very quickly, and Harry struggles to keep up as Draco slides his tongue against Harry’s. He’s going dizzy with it, burning from the inside out. His stomach flips as Draco slides his hands from his collar to the back of his neck, pulling him even closer.

Harry gasps for breath as they break apart, his lungs burning at the lack of oxygen. He can hear his pulse in his ears, blocking out everything except himself and Draco. After a second of harsh breathing, he feels lips on his jaw. A moan is wrenched from him as Draco nips gently, and then the mouth moves down to his neck. Draco sucks a mark into his skin, high up on his neck where Harry won’t be able to cover it. Harry can’t help the groan he releases, and tugs Draco back up to meet his lips again. Right where he wants him.

“Time to break it up!” someone is shouting, and Harry whines when Draco pulls away slightly.

As their foreheads rest against each other, Harry becomes aware of everyone in the Room cheering. Everyone. Not just the guys he was playing with, but the girls and other guys as well. Harry sighs, but he can’t help the smile on his lips.

“About bloody time mate,” Ron is saying when Harry finally gathers the courage to look at something other than the floor.

“Is now an appropriate time to say that I charmed the bottle?” Blaise asks, and Harry and Draco both whip around to look at him.

“You what?!” Draco shouts, glaring daggers into his friend.

“You two have been eye-fucking all term! I’m helping you get laid, Draco.” Blaise grins, the smug smile making Harry shake his head.

Draco rolls his eyes and stands up properly. Before Harry can begin doubting anything, Draco grabs his hand and hauls him up. Harry stands in front of Draco, a shy smile on his lips. God, he’s pretty.

“Come on, Harry,” Draco murmurs into his ear. “Let’s get out of here.”

Harry is helpless to do anything but nod and follow him out of the Room, ignoring the catcalls that trail after them.

***

Read on AO3

Masterlist

#devilrising #drarry #draco malfoy #harry potter #otp: drarry #fanfic #mine #drarry fanfic

32 notes · View notes

onlyhereforangst · 3 years ago

Text

WWR

Alright y’all a likely final WWR coming at you, you know 3 months late the day of the dreaded s19 premiere. This definitely gets ranty and emotional, if you’re a Gibbs stan scroll the fuck away & don’t send me hate anon. This is bittersweet and it hurts and I’ve been living in denial for months but I needed this little bit of closure before the writer’s absolutely fuck it up in less than 6 hours. I hope you enjoy my emotional ramblings & I’ve absolutely loved writing these for the past two years, i’ll miss it & your reactions to it dearly ❤️

Badass Ellie is allllllways a treat, and protective nick contrasted to her making albeit slightly reckless decisions is top tier. And then followed up by him being impressed as hell??? He’s like damn my girl just did that and I am not turned on, no way, we are working I am not turned on, nope. Nick sitting at Ellie’s desk in the beginning PLS. Feet kicked up feeling mighty comfortable for someone who hates sitting at a desk 👀 only ok with it when it’s Ellie’s, huh Nick? Also I love that he’s sticking with the nonchalant approach like he did when he found her looking up Eastern Europe locations. He knows if he pushes too hard it won’t go well, but he is still concerned for her well-being. Those pieces slowly clicking into place that something isn’t just off- it’s worrisome off. Because while yes he’s still nonchalant he’s a touch more serious this time, ignoring her attempt at a brush off and claiming “he wants answers.” It’s a subtle step up from 18x14, but it’s there. His spidey senses are tingling and he’s getting less and less able to hide his concern for her 🥺 even if he tries to play it off as flirty banter because yes he’s still gd impressed with her moves and even tells Vance as such essentially.

Flash forward to at the stash house and they find the files plus the mini debrief back in the bullpen…I truly am inclined to believe Ellie doesn’t know here. I mean sure she realizes that the timing fits to a certain extent—she was at NSA when this happened, but I don’t think she knows this is the beginning of her end. She’s like “oh they’re selling secrets too” and “my contacts are all gone” like…I just, she seems too casual and not at all on edge. Idk so far I’m just not getting that vibe. She even brushed off McGee with the whole that was ten years ago almost like she didn’t remember it? But then at the same time she did bring up the whole legal vs ethical- she hedged, but she did mention it. She was not super gung-ho about OMG THIS WAS SO UNETHICAL WTF HOW COULD THEY DO THIS so still……..idk lets continue haha

Ok her knowledge of guns is slightly concerning but also Nick finds it concerning AND hot, boy can’t help himself lets be honest. That “damn” that slips out please, so many sirens going off in that head but also you’re just like well fuck talk dirty to me some more babe. Aaaaand here we go, here’s why I know Ellie didn’t know that odette was going to plant that shit right now. “Whoever took them from the NSA’s code-level servers risked a lot more than their career” with a little like duh face from Ellie SCREAMS that she did not, would not, EVER do that. The leak was fabricated by Odette and the fact that it would be planted during this case was all Odette unbeknownst to Ellie. Or why the fuck would Ellie so casually and somewhat judgmentally be like “who TF would leak something like that, man they stupid, committing treason and whatnot.” And Ellie is SHOOK when Vance tells her it was her. Like shook as in, blinks several times, shifts her weight back, glances at McGee with a flash of surprise in her eyes. That body language screeeeeams being caught off guard. If she had leaked those documents and if she had known this was a plant, she wouldn’t be caught off guard. And no matter how well you can try and play the part, that body language is legit. She’s shocked someone would even think about that and oh man, Nick. Nick’s face hurts me (and I know this is just the beginning). Because a man who has always seen himself as the bad egg, the criminal so to speak, the one who would do something shady before any of the others. He is shook and angry that Vance could even consider accusing Ellie of this. And then there’s the genuine concern etched on his face (and I’d know, the screen is currently paused on his face staring at Ellie with a worried furrowed brow and pain clenched in his jaw) because he knows logical Ellie wouldn’t do this but also he knows he’s been seeing little puzzle pieces fall into place of suspicious behavior and this is just one more thing that doesn’t sit right with him- doesn’t fit the woman he’s come to know and love. And while I know he truly believes she didn’t leak the files, I would bet right here he’s concerned about what the fuck she’s gotten herself wrapped up in.

And she continues to be adamantly against this, like Eleanor Raye Bishop would NOT ever leak intel, not as a baby NSA analyst who believed she was doing the right thing always in her role. Never once bringing up questionable ethics, she thought it was the greater good, that little patriot. She’s so adamantly against it and then Vance asks if she was framed, and I think that’s the point where Ellie realizes this is Odette. The word framed all of a sudden clicks it all into place and she picks up it might be “go time” for her. Her glances over at Vance have changed, they’re more cautious, calculating. She hears they’ve been leaked over ten years ago and she knows that she didn’t do it 10 years ago so this very well may be the notice of eviction from Odette. The “we’re coming for you, Agent Bishop” and her little look, oooooh Ellie is fired up. Her switch flipped and she’s now gotta hunker down and defend herself until she can confirm with Odette. Vance doesn’t even let her get a word in to “fight” for her innocence. But the fact that she’s getting sent home pisses her off, she wants to be close to the investigation, know what’s happening, and I’m sure a part of her still resists being dubbed that traitor of the state. Who knows, Odette may have never told her how she would become a disgraced NCIS agent, and this may have pissed Ellie off because her integrity is something she prides herself on. Her line, “I’m not Gibbs […] I’m innocent line” is like a tiny bright spot to chuckle in during this dismal finale. Gibbs hate train right hereeeee

Love that Kasie is immediately on the Ellie defense side, not looking forward to her reaction to Ellie leaving IF they even decide to show us.

Gibbs telling Ellie “sometimes there’s nothing left to be said” when he fucking up and left the team without so much as a goodbye or sorry for committing police brutality like fuck outta here Gibbs. Ellie is CLEARLY vulnerable right now, she’s been accused of leaking classified documents aka committing treason, she’s suspended, she’s on the brink of going on some dumbass undercover op and is begging, pleading, for any sign from you- her boss and father figure- not to do it. That he shows remorse for leaving the team without a word, that he regrets his decision to just disappear on them, that he wishes he hadn’t or he had done it differently. ANY kind of sign to tell her not to go through with what she’s about to go through. Literally any sign, and instead Gibbs gets defensive and bites back that she’s picking the wrong time in her life (LIKE HELLO YOU JUST SAID IT RIGHT THERE IDIOT, SHE’S GOING THROUGH SHIT MAYBE YOU SHOULD FIGURE OUT WHAT IT IS BUT NO YOU’RE WRAPPED UP IN GIBBS LA-LA-LAND AND HAVE SAID FUCK YOU TO YOUR SUPPOSED KIDS), so now Ellie is even more pissed and gets defensive back telling him he doesn’t even know what’s going on in her life and if that’s not a desperate cry for help I don’t know what is. like she is begging you Gibbs to pick up on it and figure it out, begging you to do your job that’s you’re supposedly so good at and save her from going through with this stupid mission. And then Ellie realizes that he stopped caring about them. He’d gotten so wrapped up in what he was doing, he stopped caring about their lives, the problems they were facing, anything. Him *not* realizing something was happening??? This is Gibbs, this is the man that always knows what’s happening before you even know what’s happening. So the words “I’m starting to realize that” hit like a fucking dump truck. He’s too preoccupied with his own boat-making nonsense that he can’t be bothered to have even an inkling of an idea of what’s going on in their lives. And he doesn’t seem to care that he’s dropped them from his life. And that’s when it hits Ellie, he’s never coming back. He’s cut the team out of his life and he doesn’t care. He has no regrets, he can’t even be bothered to have a single regret. And I think that, right there, is when Ellie decides she’s all in. I think there was always a small part of her that was hesitant to go along with odette. Hesitant to just upend her career and her relationships (aka Nick, but we’ll get to this), all of it. But hearing that the man she looked up to even though he’d made some mistakes, the man she viewed as a father, the one person who’d taken a chance on the nerdy analyst long ago, the one constant through all the turmoil she’d had, just left? Just left without a goodbye, without remorse, without even a parting thought for her? That was it for her. Whatever brainwashing Odette had fed her that she’d pushed back against from fully taking over finally broke free. And with it, Ellie grieves, she’s tearing up from knowing what she’s about to lose. Lose the man she viewed as a father, the coworkers that were like a family, the partner she’d found herself loving like she’d never loved before.

Ugh poor hurt Nick, he’s willing to do all the grunt work that he abhors in order to free up McGee so he can save Ellie. Nick knows he doesn’t have the skills and I think that’s killing him even more so. He can’t just do it himself, he has to rely on someone else to clear her name (to which he bumped back to last name in a last ditch attempt to maintain distance and keep some semblance of emotions in check, which is failing miserably), and that is killing the doer we know and love. LOL “so you’re both wrong” this poor man I love him, I can’t wait for the tears that will come from me later 🥲 nick immediately taking Jessica’s help, I love it. He’s like I don’t give AF who will help us but I am clearing this woman’s name if it’s the last thing I do. And then she walks in and he’s frozen. All these emotions running through him and then she’s there?? And she ignores him??? Ignores all of them?? Rushes past and storms up to the director on a suicide mission??? Yeah this is why I said that conversation with Gibbs was her last nail in the coffin. She hadn’t decided to go through with it (hence why she hedged earlier with Vance) and then he went and was a piece of shit so she said the hell with it and went all in. She can’t even bring herself to speak at Nick, barely looks at him, because she knows, she knows if she speaks to him, if he gets a chance to try and talk her down in the heightened emotional state she’s in after talking to Gibbs, she won’t be able to hold it in. She won’t be able to deal with seeing emotionally charged and hurt Nick. So she ignores him and McGee and does what she thinks she has to do. How hard did it have to be for Ellie to tell Vance not to defend her, and that their intel was correct? 🥺🥺 it goes against everything she’s ever stood for and she just went and did it. She hates liars and yet she lied. She loves her country and yet she claimed she committed treason. Her body language once again screams uncomfortable but trying to play it off. She’d nodding and repeating it over and over because she needs to convince herself of the words. They leave a bitter taste in her mouth and she can’t stop it. All she can do is clench her jaw a little tighter and get it over with and convince herself.

Nick is in disbelief, obviously. McGee looks like he’s five seconds from breaking down because his little sister is supposedly a traitor??? Like he can’t believe it. He’s hurt she would do something like this even though he still knows in his gut that it can’t possibly be true. And oh FUCK the part where Nick’s voice cracks asking if Vance fired Ellie. Fuuuuuuuck me. This man’s heart is breaking for what’s happening to Ellie and being completely in the dark about it. Sure they weren’t really clear on what “they” were after The Talk but still. He thought she was open with him. Ever since the jail cell, things had shifted and he thought she’d been honest with him. He’d picked up on those little things, but maybe it was just training or something, NOT committing alleged treason and quitting the one career she loved. Not leaving him in the dark and vanishing without so much as a word. Not that. Because she KNOWS his past, she knows how much shit he’s been through with people in his life leaving without so much as a goodbye. And his voice continues to crack asking about what’s going on because he’s literally in shock. McGee is desperately trying to keep it together, keep some sort of figurehead for the team. Nick is in shambles ok, just like I’m in shambles. He’s adamant she didn’t do it because he KNOWS her. He knows she would never in a million years leak classified intel and now he’s just confused like a lost and kicked puppy. She didn’t DO IT, and she’s not answering her PHONE. He just wants to talk to her, he just wants to know she’s ok, wants to comfort her, wants to convince her to stop and it’ll be alright and he’ll take care of her and he’ll save her because that’s all he wants to do and always has, right? Save her. Save her from everything in this world that could hurt her. Protect her from life’s dangers. Protect her because he can’t bear the thought of losing her. And that all is crumbling down around him. All of it, crashing down like an avalanche, ready to bury him alive in grief and guilt and despair and anger. How am I supposed to TALK to her, he just wants to fucking be with her. He just wants to be there. With her. For the rest of their lives.

Ellie looking at the hat, please. That’s a lifetime of regret packed into one facial expression right there. She’s looking at that hat, the one she cherishes from the moment Gibbs hands it to her, and knows it’ll be the last time she ever sees it again. It’s not something she can take with her, and it’s full of fond memories—most happy, some sad, a few bittersweet—but memories that have made her life whole the past 8 years. And there’s officially no going back, she’s admitted to treason, there’s no way out of that. She’s having to say goodbye to all of her career without saying goodbye to any of them, all of that is wrapped up in that hat. A hat that’s so simple but signifies so much to her. She definitely was not expecting McGee to come out and so her rebuttals to him are exasperated and grasping at straws initially. She tries sarcasm and then she tries to brush it off “it doesn’t matter, it’s done […] I get that, I don’t want to talk about it” when McGee voices that he’s hurt over this and her reputation matters to him. Because he’s like another brother to you dammit Ellie. Yeah he’s grown since he said Ziva was like a sister to him and just stomped on your heart, he didn’t say it then but you’re like a sister to him too Ellie. I love that he fights her on it, and Ellie is like shit I have to come up with something. I don’t think she expected McGee of all people to fight her on this and I’m so glad he did. A little bit of growth because he is not going to see another person he views as family leave him again. And Ellie’s half assed excuses please, all of it is just such BULLSHIT because when they first debriefed she was just like “ethical? Hmmm” nothing more, nothing about being a vigilante and being up in arms over this like she claims she was. Bullshit Ellie, bullshit. And the PARALLELS TO FUCKING GIBBS. THIS IS WHAT YOU DID GIBBS, THIS IS YOU. LOOK WHERE YOU FUCKING PUSHED ELEANOR BISHOP TO STOOP TO. McGee begging her to regret it and Ellie pulls a Gibbs and is like NOPE. WONDER WHERE THE FUCK SHE LEARNED THAT FROM HUH. Gibbs you are singlehandedly responsible for this shit and how Ellie broke Nick’s heart and whatever happens to her on this stupid mission. I’m glad your dumb boat blew up, you deserve it.

“I don’t want protection” because I can’t have you all following me.

“It kills me that I lied to the people I was closest to” not about what you think I’m lying about but what I’ve been hiding. It kills me that I can’t tell you the real reason for this. It kills me.

“It wasn’t years ago for us” McGee rip my heart out please it will hurt less. And Ellie just playing into all of it. Knowing that she needs him and everyone else to hate her and not trust her. Her entire livelihood and backstory rely on them hating her and not following her, believing she’s the enemy and she’s hid these kinds of secrets for so long. Believing she’s a criminal and it was all a farce. She has to play into it. She has to. It’s the only way she will survive, they’ll survive. Odette likely fed her this shit, cut all ties, make sure no one follows, make sure no one is attached, burn all bridges.

Ah and we’re back to pissed Nick. Nick who doesn’t like to be left in the dark ever, let alone when it deals with Bishop. Getting his edgy self being rude to Kasie but Kasie doesn’t even bat an eyelash. She knows Nick is hurting and she reaches out to him, she doesn’t take his tone to heart because she knows. Nick saying he wouldn’t know how she’s doing is just like a knife to the heart. He wants to know, desperately. He once thought he was the person she would go to in times like these but now all he��s getting is radio silence, a cold shoulder, and screened phone calls. He’s in visceral pain from the thought of her going through this alone, pain from everything he once thought true and good being destroyed in a day’s time. And Kasie is shocked that Nick hasn’t spoken to her. If that doesn’t tell you she knows that they are a thing and the gravity of all this, I don’t know what will. Nick should have spoken to her, clearly he wants to, in every other situation he would have already. But Kasie (and Jessica) just realized Ellie is shutting Nick out and that is Not Good.

Back to Gibbs. Fucking asshole he is. McGee comes to you desperate to help his sister, Gibbs’ “daughter” and he goes “I think she’s at a crossroads” ???? Acting like he didn’t fucking encourage her at this so-called crossroads???? Like ???? The fuck???? Her crossroads was painfully obvious when she came to talk to you and YOU basically treated her like you couldn’t care less about her. That you had no clue what she was dealing with in her life and said as much. So yeah, she WAS at a fucking crossroads until you SHOVED her into oncoming traffic and said have a nice fucking life. AND THEN. McGee wants to help her and Gibbs tells him he can’t??? “Not this time” bitch this is YOUR FAULT. YOU COULD HAVE HELPED HER. COULD HAVE TALKED TO HER AT LEAST SOMEWHAT AND YOU DIDN’T. YOU SAID YOU DIDN’T REALIZE SHE WAS SPIRALING AND THAT YOU DIDN’T REGRET LEAVING YOUR SO-CALLED FOUND FAMILY IN THE DUST AND GUESS WHAT. SHE WENT AND PARROTED YOUR WORDS RIGHT BACK AT MCGEE SO FUCK YOU GIBBS.

Ooooh Nick looks lethal, love that look, hate why he has that look though. Lol Nick getting ready to go murder the dude in interrogation because he set up Ellie and he’s just ignoring the fact that she claims she committed treason because he already knows there is literally no way on earth that she did it. And Vance realizing that Nick needs to stand down like fiiiiiiinally someone realized it. Obviously he isn’t gonna listen and poor Nick, this boy has it bad and he’s truly just SO WORRIED for what Ellie is about to do. Because right there, the confirmation that the file was a plant, that was the final puzzle piece falling into its perfect place. Every single thing he questioned, every little moment he’d replayed in his head, it all made sense. And he was so very pissed she hadn’t come to him- and honestly I think part of him is trying to ignore the WHY that’s behind that because he truly wouldn’t be able to think straight if he went there. I think that would be his end, going into the why she didn’t trust him, why she lied, why it hurts him so much. It would be the end, and yet…we’re just beginning here. And of course he knows exactly who is manipulating Ellie, he hadn’t trusted that scum from the start. So of course he goes straight to Odette’s cabin and lays in wait, probably pouring over all the documents and things Ellie did or didn’t leave behind there.

Ellie pulling up in the truck and that heavy sigh? Yeah, she’s still not convinced this is a good idea. She’s running on emotions but that logical part of her (and deep down, her heart, knowing what she’s about to do- who she’s about to cut out of her life) is whispering of how very bad an idea this is. She still has to gather her willpower to get out of that car but when it’s Gibbs calling her? The same Gibbs that basically just kicked her out the door without so much as a wave goodbye? Yeah, the emotion just came rushing back, pushing the logic aside. She claims she can’t tell Nick because no shit if she has to look him in the face and lie and still say goodbye, it’ll kill her. She’s honestly not sure if she can go through with it.

OH we back to a Gibbs hate novel, hold on. “I’M REALLY PROUD OF YOU BISHOP” WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. I’M REALLY PROUD YOU’RE THROWING EVERYTHING YOU EVER WORKED FOR AWAY, PUSHING THE ONES YOU LOVE THE MOST OUT OF YOUR LIFE, SACRIFICING YOUR ONE SHOT OF LOVE THAT YOU OF ALL PEOPLE DESERVE THE MOST. I’M SO PROUD OF YOU. Oh fuck OFF Gibbs. “Following your gut” oh shut UP. I just don’t understand this part. I don’t understand it, and I’m trying so hard for it to make sense, for it to be in character. Like does Gibbs have any clue?? I’m sure he recognizes the signs, I’m sure he has an inkling at this point. So how would he be proud? How the FUCK would he say he’s learned some stuff from her. Does he mistakenly trust Odette because of what she did for Ziva? Is he just so self-absorbed he doesn’t completely comprehend what Ellie is doing leaving Nick behind??? And Rule 91 is a load of shit. “When you decide to walk away, don’t look back” how FUCKING STUPID. Like Gibbs of all people, you should understand that is a SHIT rule. You’ve lost the people you loved dearly and you think she should just never look back? Like are you saying this so that Ellie has a clear head for the undercover op? Are you hoping she doesn’t get herself killed by being wrapped up in what she left behind??? What the actual fuck. Stupid ass rule honestly. It’s what you live by Gibbs and look how well that turned out for you. Look at the family you ditched. Nice fucking job.

“It’s done” and “what are you talking about I did everything you asked” ok she’s 100% being manipulated and almost blackmailed somehow. There’s no other explanation. Eleanor Raye Bishop wouldn’t do this shit. Not willingly, not if she knew how much Nick loved her and how much she loved him (which if her words in just a minute are any indication, yeah she had a fucking clue). Odette calling Nick a loose end just SCREAMS how she purposefully fucking chose the moment Ellie and Nick started to get close to decide it was time for Ellie to go undercover. I just KNOW it. She’s a manipulative bitch and there is no limit to the rock bottom she will stoop to.

Ellie knows who she’s talking about and the just look of fuck I have to actually tell him to his face. The doubt and grief and guilt and all of it, flashing across her face as she realizes she has to do this. She has to face this, she has to lie. She has to break his trust (not that she hasn’t already) something SHE made so painstakingly clear she needed from Nick. Nick is rightfully *pissed* I mean who can blame him. Ellie with her, “I have nothing to be sorry for.” I know Ellie is just doing her best to burn bridges, the hesitation and avoidance leading up to this lends itself to no other interpretation. She is going to say anything and everything to make sure Nick does not follow her. Make sure he stays as far away as possible from her. She can’t bear the thought of him getting hurt in some way from all this. Even though he may not get physically hurt, I don’t think she realizes the heart break is going to be worse. The painful part is Nick understands, he understands why she wants to do undercover. He had seen that glimmer in her eye when they were Charlie and Luis, he gets it, he’s been there. And he wishes so desperately he could impress every lesson he’s learned on her right then and there but at the same time he knows it won’t change a thing. He just wishes in vain that their love would change her mind, even if logic wouldn’t, their love surely could. I think Ellie starts to realize just how much Nick can see through her and that’s why she owns up to the fact that Odette planted the files, and also why I believe the leak was all an elaborate hack that Ellie didn’t know about.

Then we get to the even more painful part of Nick giving us a glimpse of his raw heart. The why now with a voice crack and Ellie’s hedge at now wasn’t her choice with her own voice cracking, just is so so so telling. She could lie, she could really work at burning this relationship in a blaze of glory but she doesn’t, she owns up to the fact that she didn’t purposefully choose now (aka right when they were starting to figure things out between them), she’s not pulling the strings. Nick coming back with so you had a choice is like the little 5 year old boy whose dad is walking out on him again and it just HURTS. And at the same time Ellie is also the young, insecure agent right now who just wants to prove herself. She wants to be viewed as “ready” and the man whose opinion she bases way too much of her self-worth in didn’t say he was proud of her until she was upending her career to go on some deep cover op where she ditches everyone important in her life.

“How long?” “Too long.” Yeah ok FUCK ME. They both know exactly what they’re talking about without even saying the actual words. Ellie’s voice cracks once again because of the emotion in Nick’s voice and what he’s implying. It pains her to leave him and what they’re becoming behind. It viscerally hurts her, you can see it on her face. She doesn’t want it to be too long, but she knows it will be. She can’t fathom that he’d stay or wait for her, she doesn’t think she even deserves that.

Tbh it’s so hard to put this all into words. To fully convey to you how angry and hurt I am over this shit. Ellie’s being manipulated and hurt that she has to burn this bridge and push Nick as far away from her as possible. She thinks its her only out and what should be expected of her based off her conversation with Gibbs because then she parrots his exact words back at Nick when he begs, literally begs her to say something after she was willing to leave without saying goodbye (which we know is because she didn’t think she was going to be able to look Nick in the eye and still go through with it all), “sometimes there’s nothing left to be said” like fuck you Gibbs for planting that in her head. There’s PLENTY left to be said. Clearly Nick was not pleased you blew him off Ellie, he wants you to say anything that would make this make sense (we all are tbh) and she says you know my *favorite* line, “I didn’t mean for us to happen.” Nick is all of us with his “something else” because WHAT THE FUCK. This is how I know Ellie was going full throttle with her strategy of pushing Nick away. This was the one thing she could say that would hit hardest for Nick. The man who is insecure about anyone truly loving him and him being a person deserving of a love that “stays” and for Ellie to say she didn’t mean to fall in love and even though they did she’s still going to leave because it was never in the plan, just damn, stab him in the back and twist that knife Ellie. And just like her body language this WHOLE TIME 💀💀💀 she’s just shaking her head because she doesn’t even believe her own words, she doesn’t want to confront this, she doesn’t want to end this. There’s tears in her eyes because everything she’s saying is a lie and it hurts it hurts so damn much but she has to. She’s been manipulated into believing she has to do this, has to say these things. And his body language too, I mean he is tight. He is standing so rigid, hands clasped behind his back because he’s trying to convey openness and vulnerability and it’s so much growth for Nick, so much growth and Ellie is still ripping his heart out and stomping on it. And when she chokes out that goodbye you can hear and feel how final she believes it to be. She doesn’t think he’ll stick around or even want to. In this vein I think she underestimates his love for her here. And if the show goes a different way with it, they’re little bitches. It is in character for Nick to do everything in his power and outside of the rules to find & save Ellie. I will riot if I don’t see unhinged Nick some point early in s19 (I say like I’m going to watch religiously), because that is the only logical reaction to her leaving like this.

The kiss. It’s a beautiful fucking kiss and it’s ruined by context. It’s an emotional kiss, Ellie throws her body behind it, gripping his face with both hands because she doesn’t want to let him go (even though she’s going to), she clutches to this memory like she clutches to his face. Nick’s clenched expression because he doesn’t want to open his heart up to more heartbreak but when he leans into the kiss and gives the kiss back you know he’s a goner. And maybe a part of him doesn’t care because this may be his last memory of her for a long time and he’s going to burn it into his memory too. It’s why he keeps his eyes shut after she’s left for so long, he doesn’t want to open them and the reality of her retreating back be the last thing he sees of Ellie. He wants the kiss to be the last thing, he doesn’t want to face his reality. His hands had even come out from behind his back, reaching out to her subconsciously willing her not to leave. Meanwhile, Ellie opens her eyes for that last kiss on the cheek to get one last long look at Nick, one last look that will hold her over for who knows how long. A look at his vulnerable face, a face she loves. A look that she hopes will keep her warm at night even though she knows she’ll never get it this close to her again because there’s no way in hell that Nick would entertain the thought of them together again after what she’s done. She doesn’t look back because she can’t. She can’t see Nick’s wounded face just standing there, broken or she won’t go. And Nick tries to stand resolute, the anger and pain flashing across his face before he grits his teeth together and *hopefully* resolves to find Odette and kill her I mean save Ellie I mean kill Odette 🙊

Anyways, there’s only a very specific way this entire finale makes sense. And I know Emily’s pregnancy threw it for a loop, but they can still SOMEWHAT fix this. Do I think they will? Hell fucking no. I have zero expectations, in fact negative expectations. I have a feeling what we were supposed to see is Nick going on an absolute swan rampage to find Ellie and clear her name throughout the first couple episodes of s19 and with Emily leaving the show, I’m not sure how they’ll twist this. I can see why they thought this was a fun cliffhanger because it would eventually be resolved and I do believe they would’ve eventually gotten ellick together after Nick found her. But unless Emily comes back at the end of the show, that won’t happen, at least not on screen. And with that I just 🥲 I’m still mad, I’m still broken inside but yeah. I’m a masochist before anything else apparently and so I made myself rewatch and write this out. A bittersweet pissed off adieu to the WWR. maybe one day i’ll find another ship & show that gets this level of meta out of me, but it’s been real ellick, it’s been really real ❤️

#ncis #ellick #wwr #anti gibbs #seriously do not read if you like gibbs #this is your warning and if you send me hate anon for my take after i warned you you're asking for it #6k of 3 months of emotions right here on the day of the premiere #truly bittersweet to say goodbye to the wwr in such a shitty way #if there's even people still reading/following along #thank you ❤️

33 notes · View notes

pixie88 · 4 years ago

Text

Vicky

Chapter 19 - Always the Bridesmaid.

A/N: This chapter has 2 star guest appearances from 2 beauty's @secretaryunpaid and @ridgy--didge 😘😘 Again I’m going to try and start editing and publishing 2 chapters a week as I have 5 drafts in ATB and 3 drafts in Addicted to You (Series 2 of ATB) obviously if you wish to stop reading after series 1 I completely understand just let me know if you like to be untagged. Now offence taken. I hope you like it.

Read previous chapters HERE!

Warnings: Fluff, Little Angst, Mention of drug abuse & Violence.

Song: Raye - Love of you life.

Word Count: 2303

Pairings: Laila x Harry

Enjoy!

As soon as she read the words she knew who had done this "The flat is all clear" Harry says as Laila just stares at the words on the wall "It was Vicky" she says without looking away. "Are you sure?" he questions her, Laila nods "She's done something like this before when I've given Zeppy advice to stay away from her while she's using in the past. So, she completely smashed up my car"

18 Years ago.

"Nate, you know everyone says she's a druggy right?" this wasn't the reaction he wanted when he told his family about Vic "Laila, she is done with all that!" he hisses at her "Whatever...it's your life!" she gets up off the sofa and heads back to her bedroom. Nate was only 16 and Vic was 2 years older, Terry and Liz didn't care about the age gap as they were the same age when they got together, but it was more the rumours they had heard about her half the time she's high and the other half she's trying to get money to score.

As much as they didn't like her, Terry and Liz knew if they expressed their concerns, this will just push him away and towards her. All they could do is be there for him, they didn't have to worry. 4 months into the relationship the day before Laila's 14 birthday, Vicky just disappeared for two years when she finally turned up she told him about Zeppy. Hoping that he would stump up maintenance for her, but a trainee mechanic didn't make that much. Nate had learned not to give her money for anything, so if Zeppy needed something he would go out and buy it for her himself.

When she reached 12 years old, Vicky relapsed again, Nate had lost count of how many times she had gone back to the gear. Vicky had ended up in hospital again, Nate was working so he had asked Laila to take her to see Vic. When they arrived Vicky was asleep, although she was only 4 years older than Laila, looked twice her age. Zeppy was in tears "Hey, she'll be OK! She always is!" Laila tried to comfort her.

Hearing Zeppy's voice she stirred but kept her eyes shut "Aunt Laila, sometimes I wish she wasn't! I wish she wasn't OK.....I can't keep going through this!" Zeppy sobbed "I get that...I do! Sometimes, you can only take so much before you start to wonder if you would be better off without them or keep putting yourself through it"

This angered Vicky.

3 Days later.

She discharged herself from hospital and caught the tube to Laila's work. She saw her car parked up, she took off her heeled boots and smashed every window, pulling out her house key she scraped it across the shiny black paint work before smashing in her headlights. With the alarm going off Laila and Daniel rushed outside, but the damaged had been done.

Vicky got 6 months in prison for criminal damage.

Nate felt so much guilt that he decided he would worked on her car until it looked like new but Terry and Grandad Carelli couldn't let him do it alone, so they got involved too.

That was Vicky's first attack on Laila...

Present day.

Harry didn't want her staying at the flat just in case, Vicky came back no matter how much Laila protested "Harry, I'll be fine here! I can handle Vicky" he's packing a bag for her "I don't care...Laila, you aren't staying here" although she wasn't scared of Vic, she found Harry's protective side quite a turn on.

The next day.

Harry is in the shower, while Laila is cooking them breakfast "Alexa play Harry's playlist" she calls out. Raye - Love of Your Life starts playing, Laila starts swaying her hips and sings along.

"Oh, I could make you confused

I could give you something to lose

I'ma wake you up in the morning

In the bathroom singing the blues

No, I won't clean up your plates (Your plates)

Got my hair all in your face (Your face)

And my legs wrapped 'round your waist (Your waist)

No, I could never give you any space but I

I could be the love, be the love

Be the love, be the love of your life

I could be the love, be the love

Be the love, be the love of your life

I could be the light, be the light

Be the light when it's dark in the night

Oh God, I could be the love, be the love

Be the love, be the love of your life"

Harry stops in the doorway admiring the view, she hadn't noticed him and continues singing. He watches her hip roll and booty pop. He's almost convinced she knows he's there, so she's moving like this to get a reaction out of him. Which by how tight his boxers have gone she had gotten one.

"Put your, put your ego down when you need to

Yes, I get stressed out if I can't read you

Bad London girl raised in the south

I run my mouth, I say shit that I really didn't meant to say

Got my hair all in your face (Your face)

And my legs wrapped 'round your waist (Your waist)

No, I could ne......."

She cuts herself off when he startles her by wrapping his arms around her from behind "Why does that song seem like it was made for you?" He asks before placing a soft kiss against her neck "Maybe because my legs are normally wrapped around ya waist?" she laughs, "That or the love of you life bit" he nips her ear.

He kisses her neck again "Harry, I'm trying to cook breakfast," he leans forward moving the pan off the heated ring "I'm hungry for....!" he spins her round to face him before lifting her and placing her on the kitchen counter. His lips crash to hers, his hands slip under his t-shirt she's wearing, grasping the waistband of her underwear and pulling them down until their a puddle on the floor.

The pads of his fingers parts her folds, the kiss became more intense, she moans against his lips. She's ready for him, she pushes down his boxers springing him free, she lines him up against her apex. With one swift movement, he thrusts into her, he groans as he grips her arse pulling her forward. She grips his shoulders, his thumb brushes over her nipple making her moan.

A few hours later.

"....I found her washing the kittens in the toilet" Mrs. Hoges tells Laila stories of her 6 year old granddaughter in her southern American accent while she's cutting her hair "No!! How old were they?"

"5 maybe 6 weeks...I shouldn't laugh but it was quite funny"

As she finishes up, she hears her phone buzz.

She loves her friends, but they worry too much, Laila believes if Vicky wanted to hurt her she would.

15 Minutes later...

Laila calls in her next client Miss. Ferguson in "Hey! How are you?" she greets her "G'day, I'm great thanks, you?" She says in her rich Australian accent, Laila nods "So what are we doing today?" Laila throws the gown over her "I'm thinking chocolate brown highlights" Laila nods tearing the foil strips.

At the corner of her eye, she notices someone lean against the wall to her right, she glances over and rolls her eyes as she makes her way over "Harry, what are you doing here?"

"Don't worry Daniel said it was fine.... considering" he seems worried "As much I love you worrying over me...I will be fine" she can see he has no plans on leaving her anytime soon "But seems you aren't going anywhere make yourself useful and pass me those foils when I ask" they make their way back over to Miss. Ferguson.

Once her foils are done, Laila gets Harry to take her to the sinks and wash her hair "I..don't know how to wash women's hair," he whispers to Laila, who laughs "Dude! Come on, it's not that difficult! You know how to wash your hair just wash it how you would yours but we give them a head massage when you do the conditioner" she winks leaving him to it.

At the end of her shift, "Did you have fun being my trainee?" he looks over to her, she had made him do 5 washes, made endless amount of teas and coffees and sweep up hair "I have no idea how you do this everyday my hands are pruned" she laughs, "Aww, those delicate hands can't handle a little water?" she jokes as she grabs her stuff to leave. She checks her phone and saw Nate had text her.

Although Laila wasn't scared of Vicky, she was relieved that she had been caught "Vicky's in custody" she turns towards Harry, who let's out a sigh of relief "Thank...fuck!" He wraps her up in his arms "Let hope she's not released anytime soon" she smiles up at him. She sends a quick reply back.

"So, that means I lose my hunky trainee?" She winks at him, he chuckles "Would it be inappropriate to take my boss out to dinner?" She smirks "Well, now your shift has finished you're no longer my trainee! I'm guessing it's acceptable!"

They leave the salon and find a restaurant that can seat them. Once they are shown their table, they're looking through the menu she looks up at Harry then she spots him...Fuck!!!! She thought as she moved the menu to cover her face.

"Laila?" She hears Harry say "Yes?" She asked not lowering her menu, "Who are you hiding from?" She can almost hear him smirking "No one! I have no idea what you're talking about!" He shook his head "You know even if I can't see your face I can tell you are lying"

She pulls down the menu a little "After Josh, Nikki set me up on a blind date...oh my god the guy was awful. He was one of those who are someone in school, but after he's a nobody the whole date he was just reminiscing about his days at school. I was so bored, so I made my excuses to use the toilets which was right next to the exit and left" Harry howls "Laila!! You didn't?!" He wipes his tears from laughing.

"I did! It's the guy over there with the woman with the yellow dress" Harry is about to turn to look, "Don't look you'll make it obvious!" She hisses "I need to see what this guy looks like especially if you've ditched him!" He turns and he can't believe his eyes "Callum?" He turns back to her "Yeah, how did you know?" She questions him.

"He was the kid in school that used to bully me about my weight...well until Alec told him to back off" Harry starts to laugh again "What's funny?" She asks, "So, he came to my gym years later wanting a PT, I managed to get him into shape....but it felt so good having someone who used to bully me come to me for help and now? My girlfriend went on a date with him and done a runner!" Harry is in fits of laughter.

"Maybe I should go over and say hi" Laila gives him a look as of to say don't you dare, but its to late, he's up and walking over to their table "Callum! I saw you and thought I'd come over and say hi!" Callum looks up at him "Harry, mate how are you?" The pair shake hands "Good, just here with my girlfriend Laila" he points in Laila's direction she awkwardly smiles back.

"I feel like I know her from somewhere" Callum's date turns in Laila's direction, now all 3 are looking over to her. Fuck! Does he recognize me?! She thought. "I think she just has one of those faces" Harry laughs "So, who's your date?" Callum's date looks up at Harry.

Laila caught her checking Harry out, she holds out her hand, which Harry shakes and quickly drops much to Callum's dates disappointment. She watches him smile at him both before making his way back to their table.

"Please tell me..he doesn't remember me?!" She asks as he sits, Harry chuckles "He thinks he knows you from somewhere, but no idea where" Laila sighs with relief "Thank god! But the nerve of his date! Checking you out right in front of him!" Her tone was curt.

A grin appeared on his face "So, I didn't imagine it then!" She rolls her eyes at him "No, I saw it too!" She doesn't look impressed "They were on a first date too! Why do you sound jealous?" He loves this side to her "I'm not.... I just think its rude checking out someone else when you are on a date" he leans over interlinking his fingers through hers "Gorgeous....come on surely you know I literally have tunnel vision, if it's not you I'm not interested! Plus do you know how good it felt telling him that I was with you?! The chubby kid got the super hot girlfriend and at 34 he's still on his first date" His words make her blush.

They're interrupted by the waiter who takes their order.

They are laughing at a silly joke Harry's mum told him when he heads to their table "I figured out where I know you from!" Callum says in an airy tone "We went on a blind date set up by Nikki! You ran out on it"

Fuck he remembered! She thought.

Continue reading this story here - Chapter 20.

@lem-20 @ridgy--didge @irisofpurple @secretaryunpaid @khoicesbyk @txemrn @gloriousalmondvoiddreamer @tea-me-kah @casualpostqueen @beautifuluknownvoid

#atb #always the bridesmaid #harry x laila #pixie88 #Original Work #original character #original writing

20 notes · View notes

deadcactuswalking · 5 months ago

Text

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 14/09/2024 (Linkin Park Reunite! + Central Cee/RAYE, Fred again.. - ten days)

Sabrina Carpenter may no longer hold the top three of the UK Singles Chart but she still hangs onto the top two with “Espresso” at #2 and “Taste” at its third week at #1. It’s an interesting one so welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

content warning: language, discussion of sexual assault

Rundown

As always, we start with our notable dropouts, those being songs that exit the UK Top 75 (which is what I cover) after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40. This week, we bid farewell to a long list of hits, including “Double Life” by Pharrell Williams, “Bring Me Joy” by Rudimental and Karen Harding, “Pour Me a Drink” by Post Malone featuring Blake Shelton, “misses” by Dominic Fike, “360” by Charli xcx, Badger’s remix of “These Words” by Natasha Bedingfield, “Fortnight” by Taylor Swift featuring Post Malone, “Happier” by The Blessed Madonna featuring Clementine Douglas, “Dancing in the Dark” by Bruce Springsteen, “Houdini” by Dua Lipa and finally, “Evergreen” by Richy Mitch & the Coal Miners. Whew.

Now what ended up replacing this mass exodus of songs? Well, other than the new tracks, which we have plenty of, we also have re-entries for “i like the way you kiss me” by Artemas at #74, “Iris” by the Goo Goo Dolls at #69 and “Numb” by Linkin Park at #41, which we’ll get to. We also see a few boosts for “Scared to Start” by Michael Marcagi at #65, “Belong Together” by Mark Ambor at #59, “Carry You Home” by Alex Warren at #36, “WILDFLOWER” by Billie Eilish at #30, “We Play” by Coldplay and friends at #26, “The Door” by Teddy Swims at #16, “Sailor Song” by Gigi Perez at #13, “Move” by Adam Port, Stryv and Malachiii at #12 and “Somedays” by Sonny Fodera, Jazzy and D.O.D at #10, with most of the higher gains filling in for Oasis losses.

Our top five in the UK Singles Chart this week consists of: “Please Please Please” by Sabrina Carpenter at #5, “The Emptiness Machine” by Linkin Park at #4 (yes, I know, we’ll get to it), “Good Luck, Babe!” by Chappell Roan at #3 then of course, Sabrina with the top two. As for what’s below, it’s pretty interesting so let’s start right at the bottom.

New Entries

#75 - “Embrace It” - Ndotz

Produced by RJ Pasin

We start with… what? Okay, so Ndotz is a rapper from the UK who imitates Cash Cobain’s cover art gimmick on this single’s art, but the music is anything but, going for a bass-heavy rhythm not dissimilar to a Neptunes beat but with bass so blown-out it basically comes as its own bass-boosted meme version, which makes sense given that it’s barely two minutes, mentions TikTok in the chorus and commands girls to twerk, presumably to this song, so the mystery is solved to why this cheap, kind of garbage mix is charting. The worst thing is, thanks to the silly acoustic guitar and the fact you can tell Ndotz is having some fun, I don’t even dislike this. I don’t want to give the obvious, somewhat cynical attempt at virality much praise, I don’t want to “hand it to ‘em”, but I gotta hand it to ‘em. It’s just somewhat funny, and that’s pretty much all it wanted to be. Sure!

#71 - “Circadian Rhythm” - Drake

Produced by London Cyr, Ben10k, Eli Brown and Gordo

So, the embarrassed post-beef Drake has been posting songs on social media, leaking them to his website, hoping the sample gets cleared, then tossing it onto streaming if the reception is positive, and this has been vaguely unsuccessful, with the songs - even potential hits like “It’s Up” with 21 Savage and Young Thug - not making much noise, even with Drake still dissing subliminally throughout these leftovers. This song from the latest re-release of 100 GIGS - in reference to the realest thing he’s ever done: dump a bunch of useless files on a website because he felt like it - is billed as somewhat of a sequel to his 2013 song “The Language” but this all just feels like a demo. The chorus is primarily drumless, filling space with a chipmunk sample, and the verses have oddly webby-sounding snares, with Drake’s verses not fully equipped to the beat yet, and some unclear vocals if I’m being honest where I absolutely had to check what he was trying to say. This might be common for Future but definitely not Drake, whose nasal drone has never been indecipherable. The song ends abruptly, has frankly nothing to say with pretty minimal and vague lyrics about the rap game betraying him and shouting out Toronto artists, which may be the realm he should be in: part of Kendrick’s critique was his lack of identity, and harkening back to when Drake was at least marginally closer to his birthplace may be a step in the right direction regarding that. If this is the Toronto sound, though, this may be the drowsiest of all time because this is clearly a dull leftover, and for Drake, whose discography is no stranger to dull leftovers, when it’s this obvious, that’s just sad.

#70 - “I Adore You” - HUGEL, Topic and Arash featuring Daecolm

Produced by HUGEL, Topic, A7S and Late Nine

The only names I recognised here were Topic and A7S, who had some hits together in 2021, namely the top 10s “Breaking Me” and “Your Love (9PM)”, which were both okay slices of European deep house. Here, the German and Swede DJs team up with HUGEL from France, Iranian singer Arash Labaf who represented Azerbaijan in Eurovision years ago and South African-born Daecolm for a considerably multinational collaboration. Music really is borderless these days so I was interested on how this would mesh, and whilst you can definitely hear Daecolm bring an Afro-house rhythm in both the percussion and higher-register vocals, they’re inserted into a more generic tropical house template that doesn’t allow the organic sense of much of the African music that charts nowadays translate very well. I appreciate the strings in the back of the chorus, but with such an echoed mix and incessant “la-la” vocals, the final product renders as overproduced with very few realised sonic ideas, just kind of an unemotive noise, which is disappointing but might be expected with four lead artists, four producers and a short runtime that aligns strictly with the typical EDM build-drop format, but without much impact as everything is a wispy cloud, made to soundtrack adverts telling me to visit the Canary Islands rather than actually form that solid of a groove or string me along with an anthemic hook. It just kinds of floats in the air, but with a stiffness brought to it by how programmed it all is, and how there’s little in the way of actually unique sound design. I suppose it joins “Move” in this niche category of international Afro-house tunes which set the energy to negative numbers, but we didn’t really need another one.

#68 - “BABY I’M BACK” - The Kid LAROI

Produced by Rogét Chahayed and Dopamine

I know this looks bad with The Kid LAROI and Drake, but I promise you that there is interesting, worthwhile and genuinely amazing music coming up, it’s just that there’s plenty of less impressive stuff to get through also, like all weeks. I was faintly interested to see LAROI collaborate with UK DJ group Dopamine, who typically don’t collaborate with rappers necesssarily, but that quickly left me when I realised it was another lazy sample flip. As I always say, the story starts in 1977, when Player released “Baby Come Back”, cheesy soft-rock adult contemporary schlock typically schmaltzy of its era, but just catchy enough to be a semi-ironic guilty pleasure, which Yung Gravy understood when using the track as the basis for his comedic storytelling track about MILFs, “Cheryl”, from all the way back in 2017. So why The Kid LAROI wants to try and get us to believe it as a semi-serious breakup narrative with some toxic piss-offs but still loving platitudes, is completely beyond me. The original song by LA band Player peaked at #32 over here despite topping the charts stateside, though Vanessa Hudgens brought it back to the chart by sampling it on 2006’s “Come Back to Me”, peaking at a whopping… #100. Mr. LAROI’s rendition is largely pointless, with a weirdly-mixed chipmunk variation of the hook, where you can tell it transitions to a version where the vocals may have been removed through an AI website, which is largely covered by the drums, so why so much of the song actively presents the sample without them is also beyond me, the drop doesn’t hit hard or anything. I suppose the bridge’s flip on the original hook with the pianos is sweet, but LAROI doesn’t have the soul in him to pull this off, at least not yet. Sorry, it gets close to being… okay, though.

#66 - “Neva Play” - Megan Thee Stallion featuring RM

Produced by LilJuMadeDaBeat, Shae Jacobs, B Ham and Peter Fenn

“Neva Play” is the newest single from Texas rapper Megan Thee Stallion, coinciding with the success of her VMAs hosting and her other stateside hit “Mamushi” with Japanese rapper Yuki Chiba, by bringing Korean rapper RM, of BTS fame, to the fold, though Megan had remixed “Butter” before so this is not the first time they’ve crossed paths. Hilariously, Megan makes what appears to be an active attempt to keep it clean here, to fit with BTS’ young fanbase, seemingly unaware that RM was not afraid to drop F-bombs anyway. Other than that trivial note, the song’s pretty cool, there’s a minimal phonk beat that really brings into question why it needed more than Megan’s long-time collaborator LilJu to bring it together, though the distracting deep backing vocal is a bit off-putting in the verses. Megan has a lot of charisma, and whilst the content isn’t anything new - or really anything referencing East Asian culture outside of a “Hadouken!” ad-lib - her verse is a lot of fun. The counting chorus feels a bit basic or immature for this kind of banger, but RM brings a really compelling verse here. In fact, he outperforms Megan by just being really interesting - I wasn’t familiar with just how deep his drawl could go, pairing interestingly with Megan by smokily floating in at the end of the chorus and quickly going into a staccato verse about how he paved the way for Asian artists, before swtching into different flows and paces, including one moment where he purposefully kills all momentum of his verse to echo into a different cadence that feels very fittingly Memphis and also surprisingly catchy, with a decent amount of unique character and swag to his warm tone that he later brings onto the final chorus. Without RM, this would be a fine if typical Megan track, but his performance is pretty interesting if not a bit awkward or slightly abridged, and I like to hear the BTS members stepping into weirder cadences and musical ideas. More of RM would be interesting to hear.

#64 - “peace u need” - Fred again.. and Joy Anonymous

Produced by Fred again.., Joy Anonymous, Barney Lister and Will Bloomfield

So this week, Fred again.. released one of my favourite albums of the year, ten days. I spoke more about this on my RateYourMusic 2024 listening log - account name: exclusivelytopostown - but in summary, the album acts as what I would imagine as a picturebook, a collage of postcards reflecting on a particular Summer wherein those memories are all stored in layered, gorgeous progressive house taking motifs from more ambient directions and placing them into slow-burn atmospheric dance tracks. Outside of “adore u”, I love pretty much all of the songs on there, and it’s an incredibly cohesive listen despite the fact that we hear so many different voices thanks to it consisting primarily of remixes, and perhaps succeeds in part due to that as we get to hear different stories that all tie into the reminiscent feeling of wishing you could experience that Summer all over again, with the sound collage interludes forming a togetherness that is really touching and reflects on Fred’s collaborative spirit.

“peace u need” is yet another highlight, with perhaps the most strident attempt at making a classic 90s house piano banger considering the faint crowd cheers and vintage piano notes placed against a falsetto moan not dissimilar to Moby’s “Why Does My Heart Feel So Bad?” - at least that’s what it reminded me of. This track is a rare example of Fred providing his own vocals, longing for a relationship that has passed but hoping for amicability and fulfilment on both sides, given how lost he is without them but also how much they put into making it work, though this can also function as an analogy for nostalgia. “I let you take a piece of me” - your identity is found in memories you can’t revisit but also end up remembering, or dreaming about, on those particularly “quiet nights”. He teams up here with UK EDM duo Joy Anonymous here, who do not disrupt or honestly, really add anything new to, Fred’s distinct, stuttering style and greatly uses his sample of Snoh Aalegra’s 2017 track “Time”, fabricating a semi-duet between Aalegra and himself that really manifests in a creeping refrain of backing vocals that eventually overrides the entire track, leaving little of Fred’s vocals remaining as the “silence” - the distance from that period of time - “clouding” the mix entirely. The organic drums that rumble on occasion from the middle section onward as well as the tiny blips of vocal rendered as practically a sound effect shimmering just a bit too high in the mix, exemplify the album’s constant instrumental mirroring of the beauty of the humanity he experienced and that of the electronics he’s using to express it. Much like nearly all of the album, this is an incredible if not too accessible track, eschewing a pop structure for clearer and more concrete progression, including a weirdly eerie bass warp coming in at the last second to end that timespan for good. I don’t see it making a second week at all, but it’s absolutely worth your time, and thankfully, we have another one of my absolute favouritess from the album right up next.

#57 - “just stand there” - Fred again.. and SOAK

Produced by Fred again.., PARISI and Tobias Wincorn

ten days debuted just outside of the top five on the albums chart at #7, but that is still an impressive feat for an album that is simultaneously a remix compilation and almost sound collage, with “just stand there”, primarily a spoken word piece as Fred has explored a couple times before, coming towards the middle of the album. The piece pre-empting it, “.four”, has a car ticking aimlessly in a spreckle of rain, before a sample of SOAK’s spoken word piece “I’m Alive” featuring Gemma Doherty begins. SOAK is a Northern Irish singer-songwriter who broke out in 2015, whose track here is used mostly to have a spoken piece sat in the middle of wonky, heavily-manipulated vocal loops surrounding, circling the story being told, though it’s a different one from the original, as fragments from it are re-contextualised and at times looped to emphasise the awestruck moment of having someone tell you that she loves you. They stand there, amazed by the connection they feel and the appreciation of being able to “hear a world”, which makes them feel alive. There are many ways to interpret what now registers as a poem, in fact I have contemplated, given how introspectively focused some of the details seem to be, to if the “she” is the speaker themselves and it is a track about a confused sense of self-love and recognition of the world around them.

I love the pitch-shifted, distorted vocal leads cutting in as the song produces a slight bounce alongside more organic drums faintly set out to the left of the mix, I love the rise of pianos elevating the relative mundanity of SOAK’s poetry, the self-appreciation they find in observing other people live their lives and internalising that wonder, and especially the stuttering vocal that transitions the piece outside of that distorted bump of a kick into utterly transcendent territory, once the poetry steps way out of reality and into the surreal: “all four seasons happen in one day”, and whilst they’re already lovestruck, quite literally stuck in place because of their overwhelming feelings, it becomes unbelievable. Hell, it becomes too much to continue to try envisioning, and the song fades into echoes of vocal and synth that phase in and out, whilst they remain. Without anything, despite everything, “she loves me.” The fact that this is sandwiched between “fear less” with Sampha and “places to be” is really unfair, an emotional rollercoaster in the mid-section of the album that is as gorgeous as it is utterly overwhelming, which fits the nature of not just this song but the conceit of the whole record. It’s one of my favourite songs of the year, as if Fred again.. didn’t already have enough of those, and I cannot recommend his latest album more. Once again, this basically cannot last a second week, but God, it deserves to. Now, what’s next?

#38 - “Moi” - Central Cee and RAYE

Produced by Harry Beech and Eight8

…Cench, did you have to bring RAYE down with you? Central Cee, as he becomes more of a global star, has been swiftly shredding my goodwill for him, becoming increasingly gimmicky and embarrassing, seemingly taking his status as our biggest rap export to fuck around and make sure we’re never taken seriously in the genre again. We have an irrelevantly lovestruck French intro from RAYE here, which is atmospheric enough, but is completely rendered pointless by a flexing set of typical Cench verses where he talks about threesomes, drugs, the fact that you just HAVE to mention him when talking about drill - no, I don’t - and thirsting for random women in the public eye that he should just leave alone. He leeches onto the gay jokes again in the chorus, over a decent 2-step rhythm that transforms in and out of a stiffer drill beat, but the more telling line may be: “They gave me a fish, they ain’t teach me fishing”. Cench never struck me as ambitious, so the platform he has, largely off of TikTok virality and connections, I think scares him as much as it does me when it comes to how he represents UK rap. What’s frustrating to me is that I think he knows other people deserve the spot he has, but he cluelessly stumbled into it anyway and isn’t really willing to let it up at this point. Instead, he continues dropping these loose singles - allegedly from an album called Can’t Rush Greatness… okay - as he appears less connected, much less convincing and all the more deluded. Take a break, man, make something worth the pedestal you’re giving yourself and maybe stop relying on what got you there in the first place.

#4 - “The Emptiness Machine” - Linkin Park

Produced by Mike Shinoda

“This is not what I had planned. It’s out of my control.” One of the most successful rock groups of the century, Linkin Park, and the music world as a whole, suffered a terrible loss with the death of their co-lead vocalist, Chester Bennington, in 2017. Since then, the band has naturally been dormant on much new material but have played concerts, some in tribute, and have released troves of unreleased or rare material in compilations and reissues of their earliest records. There had been some concerning moments, namely the AI video for “Lost”, but the treatment of the posthumous material was respectful enough, at least as much as I can tell as I was never the biggest fan of Linkin Park. I would not say they have any great albums that are consistently fantastic all the way through, but what they do have to me are plenty of fantastic songs and even more fond memories dating back to my childhood, so regardless of my overall opinion, they definitely hold a comfortable place in my heart. So this reunion, which had been rumbling for a while, was probably going to grant strong opinions from me regardless of who it was and, ironically, I actually did not have strong opinions on new lead singer Emily Armstrong’s performance during the live shows. The livestream featured the Dead Sara frontwoman singing “Numb” which honestly did not seem all too different or interesting, though it clearly gave it enough of a boost for the song to return to #41 this week. She has a good voice, she was clearly present and has the range to perform much of their material, and since they’ll be recording and releasing new songs, she does not need to “replace” Chester.

Here’s the deal, though: Armstrong is connected to the cult of Scientology, which is extensively controversial, with Cedric Bixler-Zavala of The Mars Volta and his wife Chrissie on Instagram criticising the choice publicly by connecting her with the group and accusing her of being present at the 2020 trial of actor, Scientologist and convicted rapist Danny Masterson, which she admitted to and called a “friend”. Chrissie herself was a victim of Masterson, and with Chester’s history of being sexually abused as a child as he admitted to Kerrang! and NME, naturally this sparked outrage amongst some fans and music nerds in general who found that the choice of lead singer does not reflect Bennington’s principles, trauma, experiences and what he both fought for and expressed in his music, which has always been angst-driven and, at times painfully, honest. I tend to concur that this was a tone-deaf decision and though not all of his family have been open or even disapproving, his son Jaime has spoken against the decision and also about how band members including Mike Shinoda have ignored his concerns, and even that Linkin Park “fans” have harrassed him over his public opposition to the new singer. Armstrong confessed in a response that she did indeed attend the trial but was mostly dismissive of the contents or identity of what the trial actually involved, claiming to be unaware of details that at the time of trial, were - as allegations - readily available, especially to someone familiar with the then-alleged, now convicted.

I do not have to tell you that I have enjoyed music by bad people, I do not have to tell you that Armstrong is not the worst person ever, I do not have to tell you that the other members of Linkin Park I’m sure already have skeletons in the closet. I do have to tell you that this sucks. A man who formed some of my earliest memories of enjoying and connecting with music having his former band return, without the acknowledgement of his own family, alongside someone who defended - though not as publically as others - a man who afflicted sexual violence onto others, when Chester has been sexually abused and wrote earnestly about his overall trauma on the very records his band members played on, just sucks to me, and it seems many others, including Jaime and including the Bixlers. I cannot imagine how Emily Armstrong can guiltlessly cover some of his songs, and even if she relates them to her own experience as many fans have, Hell, many audiences have in general, including myself, I can’t help but feel a gross element to that. Those aren’t just not your experiences, they are experiences you worked in part to dismiss. For many, the apology will be enough, and that’s fine. Hell, I’m still going to listen to that new album when it’s out and it won’t stop me from relistening to their back catalogue which has some of my favourite songs of all time, like “Waiting for the End”, “She Couldn’t”, “Given Up” and a ridiculous amount of modern rock classics. Linkin Park are still a great band, and their legacy is not torn by this. But doesn’t it just suck?

You know what bothers me the most? The song’s fantastic. Armstrong’s not Chester, sure, but she already has an impressive chemistry with Shinoda, whose voice seemed off at first but blends perfectly with her more breathy rasp, and as a songwriter, Shinoda is in full pop form, with fuzz and reverb alongside some fantastically muffled drums leading in the echoing verses until a very typical but still anthemic chorus about falling victim to perhaps misguided hope and optimism leading you on in a moment of vulnerability: giving your life and receiving very little in return. It was a clever move to have Shinoda lead in, with Armstrong driving the song from the second verse on, but appearing in smokier, backing screeches during the first chorus, and once the full band comes in, whilst it doesn’t go as hard as it could, it’s still an incredibly full mix as you’d expect from Linkin Park. The band may have replaced the singer and drummer, but the core emotive thesis that LP have been working with for decades may still be here, and honestly, for as much shit as I will give her “apology” and public connections to Scientology, Armstrong kills it here. I’m a sucker for some good pop-metal and whilst this is far from their best, it’s a killer track, I’ll give it that, even if it probably won’t last too long past this week - though it’s 2024 so anything could happen - and it comes with a lot of baggage that I don’t think anyone was looking for.

For chart trivia purposes, as always: “Numb” returns after peaking at #14 in 2003 and returning to #20 in 2017. When it peaked, the Black Eyed Peas’ “Where is the Love” was #1. Its official mashup version with JAY-Z’s “Encore” matched the #14 peak on three separate occasions across late 2004 and early 2005.

Conclusion

I didn’t lie, did I? It was a fascinating week with an array of genres, artists, stories and even quality, but Fred again.. sweeps the competition here, getting Best of the Week for “just stand there” with SOAK and the Honourable Mention for “peace u need” with Joy Anonymous. Worst of the Week is more of a toss-up because the worst this week has to offer is largely just mediocrity, but I think Drake takes it by default with “Circadian Rhythms” as Cench wastes even more of our time with “Moi” featuring RAYE as the Dishonourable Mention. As for what’s on the horizon: The Weeknd, Playboi Carti, Tate McRae, Charli xcx and Troye Sivan with Dua Lipa on the new remix, it could be a lot at the top of the hit parade next episode so prepare for that. As for now, rest in peace to Will Jennings, Frankie Beverly and the legendary James Earl Jones, and I’ll see you next week!

6 notes · View notes

mgg-theprettiestboy · 4 years ago

Text

cross my heart (pt.3)

spencer reid x oc

cross my heart masterlist

word count: 1103

“Pretty boy’s got his head in the clouds.” Spencer snapped out of his daydream to find the source of the teasing sing-son voice. As suspected, it had come from Derek, who had a grin plastered on his face, “thinking about someone, huh Reid?”

“I’m thinking about the case,” he said, standing from his chair to go over to the poster board and pin another crime scene photo up.

“Uh huh, sure. C’mon, man, you know you can tell me anything,” Derek said, leaning back against the table covered in files and watching Spencer take a step back to view the whole pin board, his tongue darting out over his lips before he spoke, “there must be a key component of the profile that we’re missing, or we’re wrong about.”

He sighed, “okay kid, you don't wanna talk about it, that’s fine. But you know I’m always here if you do. So, what do you think we messed up? Maybe the gender?”

Spencer glanced to his friend, giving him an small appreciative smile before getting back to work.

“I’m glad you’ve found a nerd friend.”

Raye rolled her eyes, setting another mug down for Tamara to dry. This was one of those nights when The Hideout was completely empty. They usually had at least three or four people in at this unreasonable hour, but for once, there was a quiet period in the cafe.

“Thanks. And he’s not a nerd. Well, maybe a little. He’s a literature nerd, that’s for sure,” Raye said, and Tamara scoffed, “says the one with a degree in the subject.”

“I mean, yeah, I am. That’s besides the point,” Raye dismissed, picking up another dish to clean, “my point is, that I need to pick a new book to give him. It’s my turn to recommend something to him, and I can’t think of anything. Head empty, no thoughts.”

Tam rolled her eyes at her friend, “oh come on, suggest one of the classics. Tell him to read fuckin’ Hamlet.”

“No, Tam! Shakespeare is boring when you’re forced to read it. I need something that’ll impress him, something that he probably hasn’t already read,” she said with a frown. Tamara sighed dramatically, “dude, I don't know! I’m a faker, okay? I talk a big talk, and I own this cafe with the books and shit, but I haven't read like any of them. They bore me. I just like the whole academia aesthetic.”

Raye snorted a laugh, washing the final dish before drying off her hands, “I get it. I like it too. I guess I’ll just go to the library and see if any inspiration strikes me. It opens in a couple of hours.”

Tamara gave her friend a look, before glancing back down to her hands. She didn't want to make her concern for her friend so obvious, because she knew that her concerns would just be dismissed. But Tamara couldn't ignore the nagging feeling, that things just weren't right. “How are you doing? With everything?”

Raye inhaled sharply, “I’m fine. Don't talk about it.”

“I just think that maybe we should, G,” she said, before raising her hands in defence at the look she got, “sorry, I’m sorry, I keep forgetting.”

“Spencer heard you call me G that day we met. I told him it was a nickname for my middle name,” Raye mumbled, and Tamara raised a brow, “well, technically not a lie. Because it’s Giselle, right?”

“Right,” she nodded slowly, and Tamara sighed softly. The bags under her eyes were becoming more prominent every day, and they both knew it. Tamara pushed away the obvious concern, and took her attention back to their most urgent problem, “just recommend something you liked reading. That’s what he wants, right? To find out what you like, and read it?”

“I guess so, yeah,” Raye said softly, picking at her nails, “I just wanna impress him, I guess. I doubt he’ll enjoy Narnia as much as me.”

Tamara giggled, shaking her head, “you might be surprised. Doctor Reid is full of surprises, trust me.”

“Doctor?” Raye tilted her head, “i didn’t know he was a doctor.”

“Yeah, he’s got a handful of PHDs. I think one of ‘em is in math, can’t remember the rest,” Tamara said, as if it was the most casual thing in the world. Raye sat in silence, before shaking her head, “what can’t he do?”

“Probably cook. Or do laundry. With men, there’s always a downside, trust me. Glad I never have to get with another straight guys,” Tamara said, and Raye gave her a look, “you’re bi.”

“Yes, and? Doesn’t mean I’m gonna be running after any more fuckin’ straight dudes, no sir. Me and Ollie are very happy,” Tamara said, and Raye furrowed her brows, “I thought you guys were fighting.”

“We were. She found it odd that I suddenly had this friend from high school called Raye who I never mentioned before, and now spend so much time with.”

Raye felt guilt tug at her heart frowning, “I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for, G- I mean, Raye. We kissed and made up. I think Ollie just got a little jealous that I had another woman in my life. You know I was always more friendly with the guys. I just never really had friends that were girls. And I never mentioned you, cause we went our separate ways after high school,” Tamara reasoned, hopping up to sit on the counter opposite where Raye stood. She just sighed, “I am sorry, though. I just barrelled into your life and now look at the consequences.”

“Shut up, you’re always welcome here. This is your home now. Where were you before this?” Tamara queried, watching as Raye sat on the counter opposite her. She took a deep breath, looking around the empty shop before answering, “California. LA, to be specific. I didn't really like it there. I liked Louisiana, everyone was so nice. Hated Florida. And Texas.”

“How many years has it been... since you’ve seen your mom?” Tamara asked cautiously, knowing it was a sore spot. But since she was slowly getting her to open up, she figured there was no harm in trying to ask. Raye flinched slightly, before murmuring, “it’s been six years.”

Tamara felt her heart hurt a little. She couldn't imagine a life without her parents, “I’m sorry. I can't imagine how hard it is. But you know, the way you're living... its not gonna be like this forever.”

Raye nodded in agreement, but deep down, they both knew that she might be wrong.

NEXT CHAPTER

a short, but important chapter ;)

comment and tell me what you guys think! I have so many ideas for this fic, so feedback is always appreciated!

also i was considering maybe making this a reader fic rather than an oc fic? again idk so comment or send asks if you want :)

taglist: @slutforthegubes @pinkdiamond1016 @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto @fallinallinmendes @beyonces-breastmilk @spencerlikesapplejuice @pastathighs @gcblers @hushfakebitches @ijustcomeheretoread @thelovelyrose @187-reid @madison-malfoy @averyhotchner @haylaansmi

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid smut #spencer reid x reader #spencer x reader #mgg #mgg fic #mgg x reader #mgg x y/n #mgg angst #mgg fluff #mgg smut #mgg blurb #spencer reid fluff

64 notes · View notes

humble-wayside-flower · 5 years ago

Photo

Right Side Wrong (X)

Songs for Marin and Matthias Magwood // City With No Sky Pt. 2 (Marin on the left, Matthias on the right)

*~*~*

I’ll Be Your Mirror - Lowland Hum (A song for parallel universes and for someone who is so different but also very much the same)

When you think the night has seen your mind That inside you’re twisted and unkind Let me stand to show that you are blind Please put down your hands ‘Cause I see you

Secret for the Mad - Dodie (Sort of my song for Marin <3 You have to go through the hard stuff to get to the better stuff, but someday this will all make sense)

I’ve got a secret for the mad In a little bit of time it won’t hurt so bad And I get that I don’t get it But you will burn right now, but then you won’t regret it

Close to Home - Vienna Teng (Home, Home, Home. It’s important to them both, but especially so to Marin. Learning to let go of the physical home, but also maybe the ideological home, and trying to build a new one, while stumbling upon the way.)

Lay your head where they hold Hide the demarcations of your soul And play your silent scream role Harmonize your own worth to what you show Normalized and nowhere close to home

O Magnum Mysterium - Morten Lauridsen (”The singing is slightly discordant, not quite right, unsettling to listen to. Through the making of music that sounds as pained as they feel inside do the priestexes of the Silent One grieve their dead… The dissonance resolves into a more traditional chord; the voices finish in something still sad, but more at peace.” --This is the song I’ve imagined in this spot from the moment that session ended. While it isn’t really a mournful song, there was never going to be another one that fit this part better in my head.)

Latin Choral Piece

Can’t Go Back - The Crane Wives (The ever present mantra, it’s not fair. It’s not fair because this was my home too, and my friend too, and no you don’t get to kick me out of my own home, I won’t leave. Except you do, and you do.)

Cause you can’t go back, darling The time has come for moving on You can’t be always trying to dig up What you’ve already buried You’ve got to carry carry carry on

Prelude - Tessa Violet (A song for Nora. For two people with walls they haven’t fully broken down. A song for wanting to know more about who a person is behind the things a person does. A song for offering friendship, and a song for hesitance that is hard to get past.)

I’m insecure Of that I’m sure Don’t need a counselor or seminar to see And even when it’s only you and me There seems to be Somethin’ that you keep behind your teeth

The Loneliness Waltz - The Ballroom Thieves (A song for Raye. For two people in the same boat, even when the oceans are different. A song for wanting other people to want you so badly that you never quite learn to stop giving yourself to people who are not paying attention. A song for picking yourself up again and again anyways.)

We are frivolous with our hearts Watch them bend till they break Then we pick up the parts Yeah, we give, we take We save and condemn And we live just to love again

We’re Not Different - Lo-Fang (A song for Yani Shae. For the weird sensation of looking at a person, and feeling like you’re looking at a distorted mirror. The same but different. Different but the same. I have a lot of thoughts about Yani and Marin and the act of having faith in a deity that is all about random chance, but that’s a whole other post.)

You look at me but don’t see what I see I’m different But we’re not different Take this plant To feel how I feel Now we’re different But we’re not different Not so different

Leviathan - Dirt Poor Robins (World Eater Vibes- Adara Style. Tbh, the song I wanted to put here wasn’t on spotify, so this was the next best choice. A song for an entity that is threatening all of reality, but no one has ever seen it, and also you only really know it exists because your parallel universe selves told you it did. A song for world destruction as a ticking time bomb with a broken read out.)

Here I lie in the dark and deep For a thousand years I’ve been asleep Far removed from the walls that rage Undisturbed by the earthquakes And I wait, I wait

Saint Bernard - Lincoln (A song about faith, and about losing it, and finding it, and losing it, and keeping it, and knowing that you’ll never really be able to extract it from yourself without cutting out a vital part of yourself. Marin is struggling with the loss of her home, but even more so with this loss of purpose. She’s just pushing forward and hoping for something to grab onto again.)

I said “Make me love myself, so that I might love you” Don’t make me a liar, ‘cause I swear to God When I said it, I thought it was true

In Darkness - Lowland Hum (A song for parallel universes, for someone who is very much the same, but also so different)

Forest of my mind Calm and slow and know comfort of the darkness Knowing you I am more myself but not a self I know; One from somewhere else

Guiltless - Dodie (I have a lot of thoughts about Mattie and their family, and the worries that come with growing up in an environment that is not affirming of who you are and that upholds the status quo to a fault. How do you figure out what parts of you are really you, and what parts are the ones you need to let go or outgrow?)

Oh but I’m not bitter, I’m just tired No use getting angry at the way that you’re wired And I could never let you know (Ooh, you’d never get it) And now I’m the one who can’t let go (Ooh don’t say it’s genetic)

The Hymn of Acxiom - Vienna Teng (A song for being cursed, and the ever present inkling that you are not quite alone in your own head. A song for being cursed, and abruptly understanding in the most gut wrenching way that you are absolutely not alone in your own head, not one bit.)

Somebody hears you. You know that. You know that. Somebody hears you. You know that inside. Someone is learning the colors of all your moods, to (Say the right thing and) show that you’re understood

Nox Aurumque - Eric Whitacre (I cheated a little bit on this one and used a different composer, albeit still a Latin choral piece. I liked that this piece had an eeriness to it that contrasted with the lighter nature of O Magnum Mysterium. Also the title translates to Night and Gold, which seemed fitting.)

Latin Choral Piece

Curses - The Crane Wives (The world eater is the one that burns, but their walls are still unstable. Will their friends still be here when the walls burn down? They hope so.)

Every word I say is kindling But the smoke clears when you’re around Won’t you stay with me, my darling When my walls start burning down, down, down?

Honest - Tessa Violet (A song for Sheridan. A song for two people who just want to be wanted, who have problems with self sacrifice, and who are learning that you need to lean on other people. It’s okay, their shoulder is here.)

Here’s the truth My strength ain’t bein’ honest I mostly work from wanting to be wanted And if there’s somethin’ else, well I don’t know if I got it, got it And come the night, I’m never really solid

Trouble - The Ballroom Thieves (A song for Raleigh. For two people who can’t stop getting into trouble with each other. In many ways the two are complete opposites, but in another life they might not have been so different. For the boy who welcomes trouble with the smile of an old friend.)

I’m terrified of my heart Its hunger for whatever it may want The way it stops and starts Yeah it may saunter into war Trouble doesn’t keep a civil score

Silver Peak - Lo-Fang (A song for Lukas. It took me ages to decide on one for him, and I’m still not totally happy with this choice. I feel like it captures the danger that his helping our party has put him in though, and the frenetic energy of everything that went down during the cult ceremony. I am so sorry that you got sucked into this world eater and blood hunter stuff. You’re a cool dude, and thank you again for the fork.)

Instrumental

But Never a Key - Dirt Poor Robins (World Eater Vibes- Aillgate Style. It’s all about the fire imagery baby. And the imagery of someone slowly coming undone at the seams. A song for the slow ascent of a burning god that could unravel all of reality. A song for not being sure how to stop this yet. A song for being afraid of losing control of your body and mind again. Also that good good warlock shit.)

You’re wound up too tightly So frayed and unsightly Pulling on your own strings You’re unraveling How can a cure now be found? With no outside threat Just a fire in your chest And you’re melting All over everything

How I Survived Bobby Mackey’s Personal Hell - Lincoln (This song isn’t quite perfect, but the frenetic energy of it feels really right, especially in the aftermath of the cult ceremony. Mattie is looking for answers, but they’re also just looking for distraction. And control. Some control over these magic powers they suddenly have access too would be great too. A song for anxious waiting.)

Nothing says I miss you quite like “I’m running out of time” Nothing says I hate you now like Getting sweat stains on a knife I am killing time with a razor blade

#city with no sky #cwns playlist #my playlists #music #going to press post on this #before I can overthink it any more than I already have #anyways I know only three other people are going to care about this #but I cannot fucking wait to play dnd with this group again #<3

17 notes · View notes

keyofjetwolf · 4 years ago

Text

Bonus Question Answers! (anime heat 3)

I asked a silly question! You gave me incredible answers. SO VERY MANY INCREDIBLE ANSWERS. If yours is listed below, you’ve earned an entry in a random draw to win a GIFTENING liveblog OF YOUR CHOICE

SURPRISE EVERYONE WHO ANSWERED THIS ONE GETS AN ENTRY (with extra entry if you pulled a specific line). This has been such a struggle for me for the past ... you know, million years or something, and each of you made me feel so good, thank you. ♥

—

Q: This is reaching back into the memory a bit, I know, but what's your favourite of my fanfic? (BONUS BONUS ENTRY if you pull a specific line!)

* i cannot remember a specific line off the top of my head but i remember the post-S series dealing with usagi's trauma from pharaoh 90 (sound of silence?) was a gut punch and a half -- anewconstellation

* "Blue shirt. Pearl buttons." I think this was the first time I read you writing the Outers, particularly Neptune and Uranus, and, uh, holy shit. Absolutely note-perfect dialogue and dynamic, particularly for that period of Sailor Moon S when Michiru and Haruka used intimacy of speech and gesture as an instrument of distancing and obfuscation (of their goals to the Inners, of their hearts to themselves and to each other, of the heli-pad to the staff at Mugen Academy, etc). It was so clear, and so clearly *them* that I could actually hear the intonations of their respective seiyuu. And then to deploy such spot-on character elements in combination with the stakes and the maturity the anime never reached for, my WORD, are you trying to kill me??? The pacing, the restraint! What an absolute gift. You're a wonder. (also your drabbles are fuckin peerless, and the BTL concept is such a clever series framework) -- @rasiqra-revulva

* This was so hard to pick from, but I finally settled on "Cause and Affect" - it's such a heartbreaking story, but the juxtaposition between the clinical lines of information from the computer to the memories Ami is dealing with to the horror of the visuals around her... it's so bright and sharp and PRESENT. It keeps me in the story, that mix of tones and feelings. And the final line? Perfection. "Number of regrets: none" What an amazing take on Ami and how she processes information and how she deals with the situation she is in. I still get chills up my back when I read the story. -- @amberlilly

* I love your Between the Lines series, it's how I found your Tumblr and liveblogs back in the day -- @amboato

* Author Alert. “So never, ever, going to live this down.” -- @crunchbuttsteak

* "Of her word" quote "But for all that, it remained sand. Rei erased it with one swipe." -- Dei

* Between The Lines. Adding further character/emotional depth to canon is YES PLZ. I really liked the whole idea of Usagi having trauma post-Pharaoh 90 and all the chapters that hit on that. On a less serious note Chibs' circus-related PTSD and freaking out when Hotaru wants to go to the circus kills me every time. ("But your precious dreams Hotaru-chan!") -- forgottenfae

* This is probably the obvious choice, but "The Sounds of The Silence" has haunted me in all the best ways since I first read it. The way you write Rei, Usagi, and Rei and Usagi hits me right in the heart every time. This particular fic, with Usagi so traumatized, and Rei being as soft and gentle as Usagi needs, will always stick with me. I pulled up the fic to try and narrow down a single line, and ultimately there's no real debate. "She would never stop trying to do more, but for now, she simply did this." That line is, at its core, the essence of Rei Hino. And it is perfection. -- gatorsandglitter

* I don't expect this to win at all, just sharing,, but I just super fondly remembered the goggles and all the amazing content, meta, and fic those inspired, both from you and others -- @goosebytrade

* "You Win or You Die" my favorite line is "She and Rei WOULD have The Moment, they WOULD get their thousand years of bliss, and they WOULD be making out after all this was over. Like, SO HARD." -- @i-needa-nap-please

* I'm always really bad at answering questions like this because my mind has pretty much become a goldfish in my old age and I have a hard time remembering specific fics; it all sort of starts to jumble up in my brain and things get lost. But I have always loved reading your writing, it's what got me onto this godforsaken website in the first place -- it was just before Crystal dropped, and we were all foolishly full of hope and excitement, and you were going through the Moon Pride video and waxing poetic about the FRIENDSHIPS and I was like, "YES! Finally! Someone who understands why I love this stupid kids' show!" I think I sent you an ask saying this before, (but who knows if you ever got it, Tumblrs being what they are - indifferent) but I tried reading fanfic and even published novels based on properties, like the Buffy novels and Star Trek and Star Wars novels, for a long time, and mostly found it frustrating and annoying and just... wrong. It always had this awkwardness and clunkiness to it that didn't do anything for me and just constantly screamed "THIS IS A FANFIC IT IS NOT REAL WRITING" at me. Didn't like it. But, I liked yours. Yours didn't feel awkward or clunky. You have never written any sentences like, "Rei watched the blonde stand up" where "the blonde" is Minako, and I don't know why fanfic writers think that calling characters "the blonde" or "the redhead" or whatever is sexy or cute but it ain't (sorry, pet peeve tangent). So, when you were writing stuff more, I would read it like it was going out of style, and you led me to Doc's writing, which had the same natural, "this is real writing" quality, and I loved hers, too. Anyway, my favorites of yours have always been the Between the Lines stuff. I just love the "hidden" moments that we didn't get to see. The Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead bits of Sailor Moon (speaking of fanfic that actually works) that bring so much depth to characters we know and love already or to characters we see only briefly. Also, the Shadow Senshi, because FUCK. Just... Kill Me. In any event, I know that writing has been difficult for you of late, and I know how that feels, so I hope that people who are actually able to answer this question have given you some places to go and draw strength from so that it can become part of your life again. TBH, I've been using the bonus questions on your Giftening surveys and Doc's 8 Days surveys as an excuse to try doing some small bits of quick, no pressure, nobody's gonna see it unless you or Doc actually LIKE it, don't think about it writing, and it has been helpful. I hope you can find something that gives you the same opportunity. Now that I've written you a novel that doesn't even answer the question you asked (goldfish, remember? *sigh*), have a gorgeous Tuesday! -- @incorrecttact

* The one with Pluto and Queen Serenity, where Serenity is selfish in a very Usagi way, but her arrogance combined with that selfishness makes it a fatal flaw? I liked that one a lot. -- Jules

* the bit you wrote to 'fill in' a gap for why during r did mamoru act like a distant jerk. My favourite parts were Rei coming to see the same dream, and despite being the one to have the biggest reason to believe in these kinds of prophetic visions, Rei still doesn't believe fate is set in stone. -- just... a fan. a well-baked one

* Make It To New Year's -- @kaleidodreams

* ahhh, where is a link to all of your fanfic? It's the series you started after S, with Rei comforting Usagi, because like you I was let down by the fact that they never followed up on what Usagi saw, or even how she dealt, with the end of S. runner up: the one where Usagi is about to give birth because everything you write with Rei and Usagi is amazing. -- kari

* There was a drabble/draft/something that you used one of my prompts for, and I prompted you with Usagi and Rei, but you did it from Luna's perspective and THAT WAS SO UNEXPECTED and it turned out SO GOOD cause like!!!!!! You made Sailor Moon both someone Luna cares for, because still the legacy of the moon, and someone utterly discouraging for her because *this should not be*, and wow what a way to make it both about Usagi herself and about her powers. -- katrani

* I love the btl fics, they fill in the missing gaps, add depth to the story, and sometimes smooth over things (SuperS) when canon is just...blah. One line I really liked was: “I was listening, at first, but then I started thinking about how hungry I was, and how a pork bun would be really good right now, and then I wondered what makes a thing a bun, and like, if you put ANYTHING in a bun, does it become a Thing-Bun, so could you make a bun out of another bun and would it be a Bun Bun, and wouldn’t that be the greatest thing to– Rei?” It's a great run-on, stream of thought sentence that just really catches Usagi's voice, is hilarious, and such a natural progression. -- @kumeko

* “HUG,” Usagi demanded again, because dammit, she’d been promised a hug and SOMEONE was going to deliver. (The one where Michiru has the hiccups. Because it's fun HaruMichi stuff, because it weaponises Usagi in a useful way, because it manages to (gently) make fun of both perfect!Michiru and saint!Usagi without being mean to either character, and also because I get hiccups a lot and I haaaaate them.) -- nerdy-flutterings

* I can't remember a specific fic, but I LOVE your Shadow Senshi headcanons and they're the main reason I started writing my own Shadow Senshi stories. -- @notesfromtheidiotbox

* The Figuarts saga is the Sailor Moon fic I never knew I needed -- Raye

* Special Delivery is a delight. So much Rei Certainty (that ends up being misplaced). So much Usagi being The Most Usagi About Pregnancy. So much Comedic Hijinks, because why the hell WOULDN’T ‘the Senshi get blindsided when Usagi goes into labor’ end up going full screwball? There’s a lot of great lines there (Rei’s theory about Chibs taking control of the Gate of Time and manipulating things is fantastic, as is the ending,) but my favorite is definitely “Rei Hino if I give birth to my daughter on the side of the road I swear I will go back in time and tear all the pages out of your favorite coloring book! [...] I’ll break the crayons too, Rei-chan!” Delightfully specific and childish, especially since Usagi sticks with it, and that particular brand of comic specificity is definitely a highlight of yours. -- Regalli

* Fire on Mountain!!! When I got to “Her voice was deeper than most expected when facing the certainty of her. It was rough, sandpaper running over cherry. She’d been a singer, once. Nobody would have believed her.” I was like oh. OH! -- Sasha

* My favorite of your fanfic, one one of the first I read is 'Hard to Break'. And my absolute favorite line is Usagi's panic when Minako tries to smoke: "Minako who was almost certainly dying, the cigarette had spread its evil and killed her instantly oh god." -- @shavedjudomonkey

* Tonight Ami would grieve, and wish she understood why.' This Between the Lines about Ami getting her mini computer both haunts me and brings tears to my eyes. -- @shonasof

* I can't remember the title, but it's the one where Minako realizes that Rei's been writing Sailor V fanfic under the name Red Bow -- Somariel

* You would think Mako-chan's Happy Ending, but nope, this one goes to Hard to Break (although I had to look up the exact name.) This thing is filled with such great lines. How am I supposed to pick out one? "[Watch out, boys,]" Minako said in smooth and entirely unnecessary English. "[Lady Super Cool is on the prowl.]" -- Ultrace

* I forget the title, but it's the 'last senshi standing' fic where Ami is reflecting on the battle that took the others from her. Detatched and cold as she analyzes Rei Minako and Mako and finally Usagi's death with a medical efficiency, going through her Visors readout and then reflecting that the clinical words were nothing compared to what she'd actually seen. following up the method of death of the senshi with a statistic in relation to her friendship with the girl. Number of milkshakes shared, number of conversations lasting well into the night, number of hugs, number of smiles that brightened the darkest of moods. Describing how Rei's heart was pulped in a monster's grip, Minako's once beautiful face smashed against the rocks, Mako's lightning that outlived its mistress as she and Usagi ran off, and then finally that one last attempt to protect Usagi failing as 'Cervical Fracture' flashes on her visor. And From there she just... accepts death. sitting beside where Usagi had fallen and waiting for the end. it's dark af but it's the first one that always comes to mind when i think about ur fics :> -- Vega

* I am extremely predictable here with two of my choices, as you know that I am obsessed with Fire on the Mountain and Blue Shirt, two things you wrote when you "definitely couldn't write" (Sidenote: My new year's resolution is to be harder on your about writing) We all know why I love blue shirt, it's basically an underhand pitch to the face for me, but Fire on the Mountain has a quality of regret and longing that I really connected with, something that really struck me in a way that was powerful. It's different from a lot of your inners work, and I think about Mina posing as Rei, in her disguise magic in the woods, and all the reasons why, fairly often. Something that MAY come as a surprise to you, is I really wish we got more ofyour overwatch stuff, and maybe I'll just keep asking for this for my birthday for the rest of our natural lives, but I think of like, the one you wrote on 7/14/20, with Pharah longing to have a man to shoot in the face because that would be easier than the emotions around whatever's going on with her, and I'm utterly tantalized. And I loved that hurt/comfort you wrote for me, where Pharah had this single minded drive to find out what had happened to Angela, and Tracer's trying to, well, comfort her, on some level, and the way you described Pharah's "animal cry" was FANTASTIC, and as always I am deeply jealous of your Tracer voice and IF YOU WOULD WRITE IT MORE IT WOULD HELP ME. -- WRITE, BITCH.

* The one were Hotaru confronted Michiru and Haruka about how they had tried to kill her in order to stop the Silence. Such a good little moment =w= -- zorrito

AND THEN THESE WERE UNSIGNED SAD FACE

* Chosen. I like your Overwatch stuff but Chosen was a goddamn masterpiece.

* Operation: Heart Angels. Senshi going after Mamoru for his bullshit was something I didn't know I needed.

* The entirety of Beggars Would Ride, including every single line of Anya's dialogue.

—

I’ll be drawing for the bonus liveblog around the start of THE GIFTENING 2020 (currently looking to be Monday, 11 January 2021). Each bonus question is another chance to earn an entry! I CAN ABSOLUTELY AND SHAMELESSLY BE BOUGHT.

#THE GIFTENING 2020 #THE GIFTENING 2020 admin stuff #THE GIFTENING 2020 bonus q #in which jw gets a fuzzy #jw writes stuff

3 notes · View notes