#i miss thinking and reflecting and dreaming and imagining and all that shit
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clouds
#my art#some bg elements... who am i#once again posting bc i am filled w thoughts and feelings#i feel so nostalgic...#its a warm night and im lying in the dark#the light of my computer glowing blue in the corner#listening to music from my childhood#i was staring at the ceiling.. and i really felt the presense of night and remembered how endless it used to feel#made me wonder#when was the last time i could go to bed without worrying abt the things i should do the next day#i dunno. these days night has felt so burdensome and limiting. so much pressure and so little rest#i remember looking out the window at night and seeing the sky tinted pink with light pollution#honestly i always thought it was beautiful. the whole night was dawn.. and there was so much time to enjoy it#and i would explore all my little thoughts and ideas and worries and fears and wishes#and somehow id fall asleep#idk what i even think about these days#i just stress about the small stupid things and how i need to sleep and how desperate i am to distract myself from that anxiety#so ofc i cant sleep lol#ahh i miss hearing the sound of the train in the middle of the night#i need to work on letting my thoughts flow freely again.. instead of all these controlled thoughts about what i should do and how and when#i can just feel my little brain shrinking from the lack of breath#i miss thinking and reflecting and dreaming and imagining and all that shit#what am i doinggg man#how did i let my head get this clogged up#fuckkkk ok well anyways im glad im having this time in my feels lmfaoo#ahhh i miss going to the beach at night and lying in the sand and seeing the darkness stretched out endlessly and the city lights in the#distance and just talking about anything thru the night without a single worry about sleeping early to go to work or whatever#ahhhhhhhhhhhhh#i miss wasting time pointlessly and enjoying it without being so painfully aware of the time going by#ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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Embarrassed?
Tom sat there staring down at his phone, typing like his life depended on it.
"if this is true I will literally trade anything to get bigger, you can make me a dumb jock, make my dick small, Ill even take being a walking joke, you can take anything you like so long as I can get huge!"
He had stumbled upon a site called "give'n'take" which was claiming that it would allow him to trade something he currently has for something he wanted. He had seen claims from guys claiming to of turned into their dream self over night by giving up something that they never really liked about themselves anyway.
But it was Hard for Tom to pick something he wanted to give up, he had almost won the genetic lottery in his eyes. A fat nine inches down stairs, 6.5ft tall, a good amount of body hair, not enough to be annoying but enough to drive guys wild. Everything had made him a walking stud that oozed confidence with every step. All but one thing that is. Tom had loved bodybuilding ever since he could remember, he loved the look of huge guys and he loved the idea of being one, but on his 23rd birthday he looked in the mirror and saw after years of work he looked nothing like a bodybuilder. sure he had some size but there was no real mass. He just looked like a guy who played sport on the weekend. He wanted to be so much bigger. He got hard imagining himself being the guy who had to turn sideways to get through a door or who rocked up to a house party in gym shorts and an XXL stringer tank top that clung to him like it was about to snap. Unfortunately his height was against him, his long muscle fibers took ages to develop and when they did it was so evenly spread out it didn't look like he had done anything at all.
He'd do anything to be bigger, he'd be happy with anything taken away so long as he was huge. So he left the choice up to the people behind the screen.
---
The next morning Tom woke up and instantly felt strange, he felt off balance some how like his body had gone up 30 pounds over night and when he got up and looked in the mirror he realised...it had.
"HOLY SHIT" Tom yelled out into his empty apartment.
His body had beefed up and become more defined without any more work. He couldn't worship himself for long though as he instantly began investigating to see what had been taken, but it didn't appear like anything was missing at all.
He was still packing, he hadn't shrunk in fact he might of even gained an inch or two and he didn't have any issues remembering anything from his engineering degree or any day to day stuff. The thought crossed his mind that maybe they had forgotten to take something, or maybe because he wanted to be big so badly they cut him a break.
Tom's worries melted away as he smiled and flexed his newly enhanced biceps.
"mmm, not as huge as I was hoping for but I'll keep working on it"
Tom picked up his gym bag and decided to head out to see what his new size could do, and to stick to the habit, he didn't want all this new size to make him forget to work out and end up losing it all in a few months.
Tom arrived at the gym and changed into his workout gear but he looked and felt different was he...bigger? nah, he thought to himself, its just him getting used to being this big although as he stared at his new size in his reflection a new thought entered his mind.
"Maybe this tank top is too tight...I probably shouldn't be such a show off and buy some looser clothes to cover up"
He shook his head and decided to think about it when he got home, right now he just wanted to see how strong he had gotten.
As Tom worked out something weird was happening, he knew how to exhaust his muscle, he new how to overload the weight and really make it feel like work but as he added weight with each set it felt just as easy as the last.
He'd occasionally see his reflection in the mirror wall and he looked like he was getting even bigger, and his tank top felt even tighter than before. Surely it was just the pump he thought to himself as he continued to lift and push his body.
He sat down at the cable row and put the pin almost at the bottom of all the plates, surely this would be a struggle for him. Tom leant back and pulled when suddenly.
Cutcshhhhhhh!
the sound of ripping fabric rung out in his ear as he felt the shoulder strap snap and felt the fabric split across his back.
"aw shit" Tom said as he stood up and took of his shirt.
Immediately he saw his reflection in the mirror, he looked huge. His muscles bulging he couldn't help but pull his gym shorts up and flex, this is what he wanted to be an absolute tank...
but, everyone probably thought he was a dickhead flexing outside of the changing room, he thought to himself. He started to wonder if he was that guy now, the guy who'd workout shirtless and annoy everyone in the gym.
He noticed a few dudes looking at him like they were waiting to get on the machine. His face turned a slight pink on his cheeks and he was flushed with embarrassment.
"oh s-sorry" Tom stuttered as he quickly tried to move out the way
Originally he thought he'd just move on to the next exercise but he realised he was shirtless and bolted for the changing room. Once inside he gazed at his reflection again.
"maybe...I shoulda asked to be just a little smaller, fuck now I gotta walk outta here shirtless"
Tom couldn't get a grip and didn't no what had come over him. He had never felt a shred of embarrassment in his life but now he was worried what people would think about him being shirtless in the gym.
The changing room was empty and Tom took the time for a few more poses before he was gonna make a run for the exit. He flexed his arms as hard as he could and felt the blood rushing into the muscle, but it was strange, the muscle wasn't just pumped up, it was like it was still pumping up. He tilted his head and watch in the mirror, slowly but surely his shoulders and arms were expanding, his chest was filling with mass and size. He saw his already huge legs slowly expanding out into colossal pillars as they stretched his shorts. He could hear the fabric starting to strain and quickly bend down to get his gym bag.
The moment he leant over he heard the changing room echo with a large tearing sound as he felt the tightness relieve across his ass. Tom's face turned bright red as he quickly reaches around to make sure it was just the shorts he had split and not his underwear.
He let out a sigh of relief as he felt his underwear was still in tact, he stood up and took a step hearing has his massive thighs tore and split his shorts with just one step. He was almost at the door when he saw his hulking figure in the mirror.
He stood frozen admiring his huge body, he flexed his entire body at once loving how huge he had become, he noticed his underwear was straining and the fabric was starting to become see through and then he remembered....he had to walk through the gym like this to get out....
A wave of embarrassment washed over him, everyone was gonna be staring at him
Tom quickly grabbed his bag and made a break for it through the busy gym. He had hoped to run but his body was so big that was almost an impossible task, so jogging was next but even just a slight jog left him out of breath and gasping for air. By the time he reached the door he had multiple people staring at him confused as he was huffing and puffing like he had just run a marathon.
He swung open the door to the gym and bumped between two guys that were on their way in. Tom tried to apologise but the only noises that came out were him gasping for air and trying to catch his breath. He flashed a quick apology wave as he climbed into his car which was luckily parked right in front of the entrance.
Tom looked down trying to slow his breathing and catch his breath when he noticed his huge hard on. His dick was like steel, the thought of everyone staring at him....judging him....
Tom started his car trying to ignore it but he heard the two guys he had just bumped into talking, muffled by his window.
"bro did you see that guy, there is just a thing as too big"
Hearing those worse Tom felt a swirl of shame and embarrassment swell in his stomach and work its way to his pelvis as he started taking deep and slow breaths.
"I know right dude, and the way he was so out of breath just walking through the gym, and working out in his underwear? what a loser"
the two men walking into the gym laughing as the door shut behind them
The words echoed in Tom's ears, he couldn't help it, he gripped his steering wheel so tight he thought he was going to break it, he bit his lip and closed his eyes as his dick began to twitch and erupt. Tom let out a pathetic moan as he looked down to see not just his underwear soaked but his car seat and thighs caked in cum.
Tom looked into his rear view mirror, his head, traps and shoulders completely blocking the view, his face was flush as he felt more embarrassed than ever before in his life, He started his car and quickly reversed out.
"god...I'm such..."
His dick instantly got hard again.
"fuck, I'm so big....I'm...too big"
Tom started panting as he drove out of the parking lot.
"I'm a fucking big, freakish, loserrrr--eerruuuuughh!!"
Tom couldn't help unload himself into his underwear and over his car seat thinking about how pathetic he was...
Well...he did say he was happy for them to take anything, His confidence seemed like a fair price.
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I imagine that AGSZ would get into a Hangover type of situation with Cloud missing in the Wall Market and had to retrace their steps.
The Wall Market Hangover Debacle
• After a night of partying in Wall Market, Sephiroth wakes up in Zack's apartment, of all places. He has a pounding headache, his mouth tastes like pizza, his hair is a mess, he's missing a shirt (concerning when he remembers putting one on), and everything is just wrong.
• And then he notices the baby chocobo in his lap.
• Sephiroth is instantly placated and cares for nothing else.
*Angeal wakes up beside him, equally as confused and bedraggled*
Angeal: Why are you in my bed?
Sephiroth: We're on the floor.
*Angeal notices the random phone numbers and "call me"s written all over his arms*
Angeal Oh my god. Are we in Zack's apartment!? What happened last night? I can't remember anything!
Sephiroth: Are you aware that you're covered in lipstick marks and that your breath smells of kerosene?
Angeal: Are you aware that you have a baby chocobo?
Sephiroth: Extremely aware, actually. The moment I encountered an orphaned infant, my protective instincts kicked in, just like how many mammals are biologically wired to care for vulnerable young.
Angeal: It's too early for this.
Sephiroth: It's 16:00.
Angeal: WHAT?
*He gets up quickly. Sephiroth follows him (with the baby chocobo) and they run over to the kitchen. Zack is laying spread-eagle on his kitchen floor, snoring*
Angeal: ZACK!
*Zack wakes up screaming*
*The baby chocobo kwehs, unsatisfied*
Sephiroth, holding the chocobo close: Your screaming is upsetting the child.
Zack: What happened last night? My head is pounding, I can't remember anything, and—is that a baby chocobo?
Angeal: I can't find my phone! Zack, go get yours and check your camera roll, call history, everything. There's a good chance we got robbed!
Sephiroth: Why do you believe we got robbed?
Angeal: Because this place is a mess! Paint splatters on the walls? A pile of energy drink cans? Glitter everywhere??
Zack: Actually, it was like this before we left last night.
Zack:
Zack: I'm trying out art therapy and collecting energy drink cans for recycling :)
Angeal: PHONE.
Zack: On It!
*Zack stumbles into his room to grab his phone*
• Sephiroth is tending to the baby chocobo, fussing over it as a mother would.
• Angeal is watching Sephiroth tend to the baby chocobo, wondering whether or not he's dreaming.
*Zack stumbles out of his bedroom*
Zack: THERE'S A GIRL IN MY ROOM!
Angeal: What did you do!?
Zack: Nothing! I don't even know her!
• All three of them run into Zack's room and sure enough, there's a girl in a pretty, red dress and long red hair sleeping in his bed.
Zack: She's beautiful, but I fear she'll think lowly of me now that she's woken up in my bed.
Angeal:
Zack: I didn't even make her breakfast. Should I make her breakfast?
Angeal: That's GENESIS.
*Upon hearing his name being yelled, Genesis wakes up*
Genesis: Why am I in the puppy's room?
Zack: Dude, why are you wearing a dress!?
Genesis: What? *he looks down* Oh. OH? Who's the scoundrel who did this to me? Which one of you dolts thought it would be funny to dress me like a doll?
Angeal: It wasn't us. We all woke up out there and I can't remember anything.
Sephiroth: And I woke up with this adorable infant chocobo, carrying all the joy of life in its heart, and it brings me a sense of peace I never knew I needed.
Genesis: Where's Cloud?
*There's deafening silence as they all realize Cloud isn't there*
Genesis: We forgot Cloud in Wall Market!?
Angeal: Shit! Sephiroth, put that chocobo down and call Cloud!
Sephiroth: Notice how I’m cradling the chocobo with one arm while using the other to reach into my pocket and pull out my phone—an action that reflects the care of a devoted parent.
Zack: Man, nice!
*They high five*
Angeal: WHAT PLANET ARE YOU TWO ON!? CALL HIM!
• They try to call Cloud several times but he isn't picking up, which means that there's only one way to go about this: They need to retrace their steps back in Wall Market to find him.
Genesis, while everyone else is getting dressed: I’m still in disbelief that someone snuck up on me while I slept and dressed me in this. The shade of red isn’t even close to what I usually wear, and I would never style my hair pin straight like this—I prefer it curled! Plus, this push-up bra is incredibly uncomfortable.
Sephiroth: Then go get changed.
Genesis: No.
Sephiroth:
Angeal: Okay, I'm ready. Grab your stuff and let's go.
*Sephiroth walks towards the door with the baby chocobo*
Angeal: Seph! Leave the chocobo!
*Sephiroth puts the baby chocobo down but it immediately follows him and jumps back into his arms*
Sephiroth: It’s settled, then. I am now the chocobo’s guardian. From this moment forward, I embrace the role of parent to this delightful creature. I shall nurture it, guide it, and cherish it as if it were my own.
Genesis: I think that if you talk to Lazard you can get paternity leave.
Sephiroth: I already checked, and it appears only maternity leave is possible.
Genesis: I'll help you fake a pregnancy.
Sephiroth: You're a good friend.
Zack: Guys? Guys?? Angeal is having a panic attack!
• Once they reach Wall Market, they go to Madam M first because the last thing Zack remembers is getting a massage before he blacked out.
• It turns out that there's a reason why.
*Zack walks through the door and Madam M throws a shoe and starts screaming at him in Wutaian*
Zack: !?
Angeal: Excuse us, Madam M? We're looking for our friend? Cloud Strife? Have you seen him.
*Madam M is still throwing items at Zack and screaming in Wutaian*
Zack: !!!??
Angeal: He's 5'7, spiky blond hair....
*Madam M is still screaming in Wutaian but now she's doing impolite hand gestures*
Sephiroth: She's calling you a, quote, cheapskate hillbilly with ugly hands.
Zack: Rude.
*Madam M is still screaming*
Sephiroth: And now she's cursing your bloodline both past and future.
Zack: ....
*More screaming*
Sephiroth: And now she said something that if I were to repeat, I would have to empty my life's earnings into Angeal's swear jar.
*Screaming*
Sephiroth: She said that you came in here last night, asked for the finest massage, and then tried to pay with a friendly hug.
Zack: Oh yeahh! I remember now. I was trying to see how far positivity stretched.
Genesis: So you robbed an establishment.
Zack: Hey, the hug was enough for the hot dog stand guy! It was enough for the dude selling counterfeit Sephiroth plushies!
Mandam M: I haven't seen your friend. You weren't with him yesterday. Try Andrea. The loudmouthed one in red was very instant last night that your little group go to the Honeybee Inn next.
*They all turn to Genesis*
Genesis: Oh please. What are you all implying by those judgemental looks? That I dragged us to the Honeybee Inn for a night of sin that resulted in Cloud's disappearance??
• At the Honeybee Inn.
*Andrea runs up to Genesis and embraces him as soon as they walk through the door*
Andrea: My darling! I thought the day would never come when you’d grace us with your presence again! You are the very essence of radiance in this establishment! Never has there been a soul more attuned to the fluidity of gender, the artistry of theatrical performances, and the tantalizing allure of rebellion!
*Everyone looks at Genesis, long and hard*
Genesis: I've never seen this man in my life.
Andrea: I see you're still in the fabulous outfit I gifted you last night.
Genesis:
Angeal: Really, Genesis? Honestly, I’m relieved I don’t remember a thing, because I can’t even begin to imagine the shame I’d feel knowing what you did here.
Andrea: Ah, Angeal. You came to pick up your wallet and Shinra ID, I presume?
*He hands them to him*
Angeal: Oh, wow. That's dangerous. I can't believe I'd lose track of these.
Andrea: Yes, well, when you started stripping you threw your pants into the crowd and the wallet went with it.
Genesis: HAAA!
Angeal, irritated: Where's Cloud?
Andrea: Your friend was never here. You were only a group of four when you were sat at one of the tables, and I do believe Commander Rhapsodos mentioned that you were coming from Sam's Delivery Service.
Zack: The chocobos!! That makes so much sense! Come on guys!
• At Chocobo Sam's
Zack: Excuse us, sir! We're looking for our friend, Cloud. Andrea said that we were here last night, but we can't remember anything.
Sam: Yeah, you were here to rent a chocobo to ride around the market on. But you came here as a group of four. There ain't no Cloud here.
Everyone: WHAT?
Sam: Yeah, but from the way you returned Goldie, all covered in glitter and trinkets, I take it you took her for quite the ride around Wall Market.
Angeal: Goldie??
*Chocobo Sam points at one of the chocobos and suddenly everything makes sense*
Zack: Ohhh, that's right! We never came here with Cloud! It was a chocobo all along!
Genesis: I cannot believe we were fooled by our faulty memory.
Angeal: Yeah, I guess in all the confusion, everything got mixed up, and we ended up thinking the chocobo was Cloud.
Zack: An honest mistake.
Sephiroth: Which he would kill you for if he knew. Excuse me, sir, but I have a question. Would this adorable creature happen to be Goldie's child?
Chocobo Sam: No, son. We ain't got no baby chocobos here. That one there belongs to you.
Sephiroth: I see. It seems this chocobo has become my responsibility, and I wouldn’t dream of parting with it. It’s more than just a creature in my care—it’s my child now, and I’ll protect and nurture it as such.
*The chocobo leaps from his arms and runs to play with the other chocobos, leaving him behind*
Sephiroth:
*Sephiroth drops to his knees*
Sephiroth: BETRAYAL. DISLOYALTY. ABANDONMENT—
*They grab Sephiroth and haul him off kicking and screaming*
Zack: We'll get you a puppy!
Sephiroth: I DON'T DESIRE A PUPPY.
Zack: SLANDER. DEFAMATION. INSULTING—
*Chocobo Sam watches them walk away and disappear around the corner*
Chocobo Sam: This day cannot get any weirder.
*The spell wears off and the baby chocobo turns back into Cloud*
Cloud: SONS OF BITCHES.
Chocobo Sam:
#storytime#ff7#ffvii#final fantasy 7#sephiroth#genesis rhapsodos#angeal hewley#zack fair#cloud strife#crisis core
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Lost and Found
Eren Jaeger x Female Reader
Chapter 11: Consequences
Chapter summary: Realizing the damage he’s caused, Eren learns about the life he has missed out on and tries to reflect on his mistakes, with a few bumps accompanying him along the way.
Chapter warnings: explicit language, aggression, mentions of blood
Words: 4.4k
Chapter 1 Chapter 3
…..
That night, Eren couldn't sleep. All he could think about was you and the encounter you two had the day before. Well, not that he spent his time thinking about much else before, but now he found someone else nestled inside his mind.. Lily. He tried to focus on a song he’d been writing for some time, go to the gym, do anything to distract himself. But no matter what he did, his mind kept coming back to the two of you.
When morning came, he realized he couldn't take it anymore. He had to see you again, talk to you, find out if what he’d been wondering about was true. He knew that it was a risk, that you might not want to see him, but he had to try. He couldn’t just go straight to your house, though. He didn’t even know if you lived there anymore.
But anyway, who would tell him anything about you? He was sure that many people were aware of what happened all those years ago, the whole ugliness of it. It wasn’t a big town, and there was no way anyone would tell him any kind of information regarding you. People loved you, and he was sure no one gave jack shit about him.
The only person that could tell him anything was his dad, although he didn’t know if you kept in touch with him after all that had happened. Nevertheless, he was going to ask.
He knew that Grisha was at work at the hospital, but he couldn’t wait a minute longer. He dialed his father’s number while nervously pacing around in his hotel room.
The moment he picked up, Eren was on it, “Hey, dad. Listen, sorry to call you at work, but I need a favor to ask.”
“Okay,” his father said, a little taken aback by the urgency in his son’s voice, “What is it?”
“I saw Y/n yesterday.”
His father went quiet, and Eren knew why. He couldn’t even imagine the shame his dad must’ve felt when it all happened.
“And I know you probably think that I shouldn’t bother her, but I really need to just talk to her. To at least have the chance to apologise properly.”
Grisha stayed silent for a little while. But then, much to Eren’s surpirse, “I think that’s a good idea.”
The younger man furrowed his brows in confusion, not expecting his father to agree so easily, “Really?”
“Yes, really. She owns a flower shop downtown. It’s on Saint John’s street, first corner on the right. It closes around 6p.m.”
Eren couldn’t believe his father was actually supporting him in this. He quickly grabbed a pen and a piece of paper to write the address on it, “Thanks, dad. I really appreciate it.”
“Be gentle with her, Eren. It’s the least you could do. That girl has gone through a lot.”
Eden nodded, even though his father couldn’t see him, “I will, I promise. Thanks again.”
In a flash, he put his phone inside his leather jacket, put his black combat boots on, tied his hair in a messy bun, and went out the door. He knew that it was probably best not to disturb you at work, but how could Eren explain to you that waiting would drive him completely nuts? How could he explain that he’d been waiting for so long, his body wouldn’t allow another minute to pass by without him taking action? His heart pounded like it wanted to jump out of his rib cage as he drove like a complete madman, acting on pure adrenaline. He knew he had to calm down before meeting you, but the emotions he felt were just too strong to hold down.
After he parked his car down the street from the given address, his eyes went to a periwinkle sign a few meters from where he was standing. “Lily’s flowers”, it read in elegant cursive writing, that drew a tiny smile across his face.
Eren couldn't believe he was actually doing this. Facing his past was something so distant before, like a dream that was never going to happen, even though he desperately wanted it too. But now, as he stood outside the shop, there was a glimmer of hope blooming inside his heart.
He took another deep breath and pushed the door open. The sweet scent of roses and lilies filled his senses as he looked around your workplace with awe. The shop was small, but cozy, with colorful bouquets arranged in vases on every surface. The walls, adorned with beautiful floral paintings, added to the ambience of the shop. They were painted in soft pastel shades, providing a soothing backdrop for the vibrant colours of the flowers. It was breathtaking.
And then, behind the counter, arranging a colourful bouquet, were you. Dressed in a simple white tee and a floral apron, you were still too beautiful to be true.
“Good morning, how can I help yo-“, when you brought your head up and saw him standing before you, your mouth fell slack.
"Hi," Eren spoke, his voice low and unsure.
He saw your face go through a few different emotions in the span of seconds, first surprise, then a mix of nervousness and vexation, "What are you doing here?"
Eren took a step closer to you, but he didn't know what to say. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. Suddenly, a child’s giggle was heard and Lily appeared from behind you, holding a pretty flower in her hand. She ran in front of the counter, almost bumping into Eren’s leg.
"Mommy, look! It's the man from the grocery store!", the little girl exclaimed, pointing her tiny finger at him.
Eren looked down at her, a knot tying inside his throat. Now that he could really see her up close, it was undeniable. Her brown hair, her eyebrows, her radiant teal eyes.. the signs were all there, "Hi there. Lily was it?”
"Mhm!," she replied with a smile.
Eren knelt down next to her level,
“You’re as pretty as a lily, Lily.”
She let out the cutest little giggle, “That’s what my mom tells me.”
"Lily, honey, why don't you go outside and play for a bit?" You said, visibly trying to compose yourself.
“Okay. Bye.” She waved her hand at Eren, but before she could go, he stopped her.
“Just a second, Lily.” The little girl turned back to him, her eyes wide with curiosity, “How old are you?”
“I'm six and a half, but all my classmates tell me that I look smaller, and that really annoys me!”
Eren’s smile disappeared. Six and a half.. which meant-
“Go on and play, honey.” You pressed on, voice trembling.
Lily nodded and ran outside, leaving Eren alone with you and the silence.
When he rose from his position, his eyes turned to you, and when he saw the way you avoided his gaze, with tears brimming your eyes, he just knew.
"Why are you here, Eren?"
"I...I wanted to see you. I've been thinking about you a lot lately," he said, his voice barely a whisper.
“Oh,” he could hear the lump inside your throat from trying to fight the tears, “how nice of you.”
Eren cautiously moved closer to the counter,
“Do you think we could perhaps.. talk?”
Your hands were shaking, and you just hoped he wasn’t near enough so he could see them.
"Eren.. I really don’t know how you have the nerve to come here after everything.” You always knew that seeing him again would stir up old feelings that you had buried deep down, but this was too much.
Eren felt like he could let the whole world swallow him, "I.. I know."
You shared a look with him. Seeing those eyes again was like diving into a pool of memories, each one flooding back with a force that made your heart ache.
“Y/n, I'm so sorry-”
“No.” You’re quick to silence his attempt, “No, no, you can't do this right now. I'm working.”
“Please, just.. Just give me 2 minutes-”
“Two minutes!?” You raised your voice, hot tears threatening to spill again, “Two minutes.. Is that going to sum up years of.. of-”, the frustration you felt couldn’t be described with words. You were helpless, and at the same time, desperately trying to find the words. You hated how weak you looked right now.
Turning around, you tried to distract yourself by fixing the stems of a few red roses, “You should go.”
Eren didn’t know what to do. On one hand, the last thing he wanted was to upset you this much. On the other.. he needed to ask. If he didn’t do it right now, he’d probably go insane.
“Y/n..”, he said your name cautiously, “Lily.. Is she mine?”
You froze in place. You couldn’t bare to look at his face right now, or you’d probably faint, “What?”
“I'm sorry, I just really need to know. Please.” Eren thought he could go into cardiac arrest soon, “Is she mine?”
Silence fell like a heavy weight, suffocating, as if the air had been sucked out of the room, leaving a vacuum of soundlessness that pressed down on you both.
And then, with your back still turned against him, you spoke quietly, “I think you already know the answer to that.”
Seconds turn into hours, each passing moment feeling like an eternity. It was true. Hearing it from you just cemented it in stone. Lily was his.
Before Eren could open his mouth to say something, a doorbell ring was heard throughout the shop.
“Good morning!” An elderly woman greeted.
“G-good morning!” You swiftly wiped your eyes, before turning and sending a final look his way, “You have a nice day, sir.”
Eren stood there, staring at you helplessly. He knew he had to leave, but god help him, that was the last thing he wanted to do. All he wanted was to just whisk you away and talk, tell you how fucking sorry he was, how much of a piece of shit he was.
But he knew that wasn't possible right now. You were at work, and he knew he’d made it hard enough as it was. He had to go.
With a heavy heart, he turned to leave, emotions threatening to overwhelm him as he walked away. When he reached the door, he turned back to steal one last glance of you. You were talking to the older woman, happily showing her different kinds of flowers, like the previous conversation never happened.
The thought of you putting on a brave face and hiding your pain from the world, and him knowing he was the reason for that, made his heart sink with much earned guilt.
…..
Eren replayed your conversation in his mind throughout the whole day.
Over, and over, and over again.
“I think you already know the answer to that.”
He wanted to punch a wall. Or better yet, himself.
He could only imagine the hardships you must’ve gone through, raising a child alone at nineteen years old, while he was touring and drinking and living his life. A life that was definitely not worth living. Not knowing that you were pregnant.. not knowing just how much you needed him. Thinking that leaving you was the best option for you both.
Hatred. That was the feeling Eren felt for himself.
Maybe it was for the best. Maybe you’d realized that Lily didn’t need a person like him in her life. A fucking failure of a person.
Lily…
She was so beautiful. And she looked so much like him, it was insane. But her smile.. her smile was yours. So infectious, it lit up the entire room and filled his heart with warmth. Just like you did.
Eren wondered if you were ever going to smile at him like that again.
He buried his face in his hands as he laid on the uncomfortable hotel mattress. His eyes were hot with tears, and he bit his lip in an attempt to stop a sob from escaping.
What the hell was he going to do?
“Fuck you, Eren.” He cursed audibly. He needed someone to scream at him, and he needed that person to be you. He wanted you to let out all the anger and frustration he knew you were feeling towards him. He longed to hear you yell at him, to let him know just how much he had hurt you. The need to take it all in was enormous, to feel the weight of his mistakes and the suffering he had caused. Knowing it wouldn’t be easy, he was ready to face it all if it meant that there was a slight chance he could still make things right with you and Lily.
The beeping of his phone interrupted his thoughts, and he reluctantly pulled his attention away from his inner turmoil to check the notification. It was his dad. He was inviting him to dinner.
As much as Eren wanted to get a bottle of whiskey and just drawn himself in his sorrows, he knew he needed to tell Grisha what happened. He needed to tell him that he had a granddaughter, who was living just mere minutes away from him.
As he drove to his father’s house, his mind was spinning with all the possible outcomes of the impending conversation. Would his father be angry? Would he be happy? Would he even believe him? Or.. did he know already? No. He would’ve told him. There was no way he would keep that kind of information from him.
As he came closer to his old home, his anxiety only grew, but he knew that he had to push it through.
Finally, when he saw the white picket fence his father and him painted all those years ago, he inhaled deeply, and walked to the front door. Before he could knock, his father had already opened it.
“Eren,” Grisha said, a little surprised, “that was fast.”
Eren clenched his sweaty palms, “Dad, we need to talk.”
His father nodded, “We sure do.”
…..
“Made your mother’s favourite,” Grisha told his son while holding a ceramic dish with his oven mittens, positioning it at the center of the dining table. But that comment fell on deaf ears. Eren’s foot was bouncing nervously under the table, while his mind was preoccupied with how best to serve the news. With the intent to calm his nerves down, he tried to focus on the present moment.
“That looks delicious, dad.” He said, trying to sound casual, “Thanks.”
Grisha gave his son a small smile, but he could tell that something had happened today. It was written all over his face.
After plating the food, his father finally took a seat. He then positioned both elbows on the table, looking Eren straight in the eyes.
“So.. how’d it go?”
This was it. He had to tell him now.
Eren fixed his posture before clearing his throat, “Dad, I.. I have something to tell you.”
Grisha didn’t speak, hiding the lower part of his face in his hands.
“Y/n, she.. she has a kid. I suppose you already know that. I met her today.” His fingers were trembling, “Dad, that kid.. she’s mine. That’s-“, he cleared his throat again, already fighting back tears, “That’s my daughter.”
The older man’s face was unreadable, which made Eren’s heart pump even more rapidly. Bracing himself for his reaction, he watched as the older man lowered his hands, revealing an impassive expression.
“She has your mother’s eyes, don’t you think?”
The words sank in the younger man’s years, but his mind couldn’t grasp them.
And then, it dawned on him.
“Wait-“, his mouth became dry, “what’s that supposed to mean?”
His father turned his eyes on the meal in front of him, mixing it around with his fork.
“So.. you knew.” Eren’s disappointment was painted all over his face and voice.
After taking a bite of his food, Grisha looked up at his son, “Of course I knew.”
Eren’s confusion bubbled up like a boiling pot of water that was dangerously close from spilling. He couldn’t fathom how his father wouldn’t tell him as soon as he first saw him. As if there was anything more important than telling him he had a whole kid.
“Why.. why the hell didn’t you tell me?” His voice raised with every word.
“Do not curse at me, boy.” Grisha’s tone turned stern as he laid his fork beside his meal, his dark eyes fixed on his son, “You think we didn’t try to tell you? You think we didn’t blow your phone up? Guess what, you never picked up. And then,”, his voice grew quiet, “when she was born, I drove to one of your concerts. Nobody believed I was your father, but I somehow managed to persuade one of the bouncers to let me see you.”
Eren’s heart skipped beat after beat, failing to remember any of what his father was telling him.
“You told me to go away. I don’t think you could even comprehend what I was telling you. I don’t know what you were on.. but the guy I saw in that dressing room wasn’t my son.” The finality of Grisha’s words felt like a knife being stabbed inside his son’s heart, “Lily deserved better than that guy.”
The shame Eren felt was overwhelming. The need to let his anger out was so immense, his whole body began to shake. Without saying another word, he stormed out of the dining room, grabbed his keys, and left the house.
When he got inside his car, his fist repeatedly slammed against the stirring wheel.
“Fuck!”
After all this, he knew what he needed. A drink, and he needed it bad.
…..
The building of the old bar was aged and weathered, with a peeling paint and a faded sign that read “The Dusty Boot”. The windows were grimy and the door creaked as Eren pushed it open.
Inside, the room was dimly lit, and smelled of stale beer and cigarettes. The walls were lined with old photographs and memorabilia from the town’s glory days, while the bar itself was made of dark wood and looked scarred from years of use.
Still, it felt like home.
Eren sat down on one of the stools, the weight of today’s emotions pressing down on him hard. His head hurt, and he was tired, more tired than spending a whole day on stage. The bartender, an old man with a bushy white beard he remembered from years ago, approached him.
“What can I get ya, son?” He asked while his hands were busy wiping a pint glass with a cloth.
“Just a beer.”
The old man nodded and pulled out a cold bottle of beer from the fridge. He popped the cap off and placed it in front of Eren, “Tough day?”
Nodding once, he took a sip of the cold liquid. The man seemed to understand, so he just continued cleaning glasses, occasionally glancing over at him. The bar was quiet, with only a few patrons scattered around the room. Hushed old country music played in the background, adding to the calm atmosphere.
Eren drank beer after beer, trying to rid himself of some of the guilt he felt, even if only for a little bit. After a few rounds, he understood that it was a task impossible. His thoughts were like little needles prickling at his heart and brain, and the alcohol he consumed only seemed to magnify them.
He thought.. He though about so many things, and they all concerned you. He wondered about what had gone on right after he left you. How alone you must’ve felt, how betrayed. He thought about his dad, and how helpless he must’ve been, knowing you were suffering because of his son. He cursed himself inwardly for storming off earlier, but had he stayed, he would’ve probably said things he didn’t mean. Let anger out that wasn’t directed at anyone else but himself. Anger that only he deserved.
“Hey, aren’t you the singer from that band?” The bartender asked after some time, pulling Eren from his somber thoughts. Great. That was all he needed right now. Usually, he didn’t mind people asking him about his career, but tonight he was hoping to stay unbothered. “Yes you are. Eren Jaeger, was it?” The old man continued, “Grisha Jaeger’s son. Been a long time since I’ve seen you hang around here.”
“Been a long time since I’ve been home.” Eren replied, keeping his tone neutral.
“My daughter, she’s sixteen-“, the bartender continued, much to Eren’s dismay, “she’s a big fan of yours. She’d be so stoked if she knew you were here.”
Eren managed a small smile. “That’s nice to hear.”
“Hey, uh..”, the man reluctantly began, catching onto Eren’s reluctance to talk about his fame, “do you think maybe you could sign an autograph for her? If it’s not much trouble.”
Eren hesitated for a moment, but before he could agree, a voice was heard from somewhere behind him, “Now, are you sure your daughter needs an autograph from a man like him, chief?”
Eren became rooted in place as he recognised the voice of the man who was now standing inches beside him. A man with whom he once shared a friendship.
“Well, well”, there was amusement, but also hostility in his tone, “look what the cat dragged in.”
Eren swallowed another sip of his beer, then, without having much option, turned to inspect the man the voice belonged to.
Jean Kirstein. He was different than Eren’s last memories. Tall as ever, his ashy-brown hair was now slicked back and at his nape. He had a bit of a goatee, but still the same annoying smirk that Eren remembered all too well. It was a smirk that conveyed both confidence and arrogance, as if he knew something that Eren didn’t.
“Jean,” the green-eyed man nodded in greeting before turning back to his drink.
“Eren. Long time no see.” Jean sat on the stool next to him, ordering a drink of his own. “I heard you’d come back a few days ago.”
“Yeah?” Eren kept his tone casual, but guarded.
“It’s a small town. Didn’t believe it at first.” He could see Jean take a swig of his drink with the corner of his eye, “I thought “What would the great Eren Jaeger be caught doing in a place like this?” A place he so desperately wanted to run away from.”
Eren’s grip on his beer tightened, body tensing. Despite all the alcohol in his system, he managed to keep his cool, replying curtly, “I came back for personal reasons.”
Jean raised an eyebrow, ““Personal reasons?”” A patronising laugh filled the space between them, “That’s not like you. You always seemed to be running away from something.”
At that sentence, Eren shot him a sharp look. His nerves were already heightened enough today, “I’m not running away from anything.”
“Sure you’re not.” Jean brought his glass to his mouth before saying, “There probably isn’t a pregnant girl to run away from now.”
It happened in a second. Eren’s fists curled around Jean’s shirt, his stool on the ground.
His emerald eyes blazed with fury as he pulled Jean towards him, their faces inches apart. "Don't you fucking dare," he growled, "You have no idea what you're talking about."
“Hey, hey, now calm down boys!” The old barman shouted, bringing his hands in the air, “This ain’t no place for this.”
Jean's smirk disappeared as he registered the intensity in Eren's eyes. He tried to push him away, but his grip was too strong. "Let go of me, Jaeger.”
Eren's grip tightened even more, his knuckles turning white. "You don't get to bring her up like that," he gritted through his teeth.
“Oh, did you finally remember she existed?”
The final button had been pushed. Eren’s fist landed on Jean’s face with a loud thud, causing him to stumble backwards and fall off his stool. The other men in the bar gasped and murmured, some of them getting up to leave, others standing to get a better look at what was happening.
The barman rushed over to the two men, trying to separate them. "That's enough, boys! Take it outside if you have to, but not in here!"
Eren was heaving with anger, anger so radiant, it was like steam coming off of his body. His eyes were still fixed on Jean, who was now holding his bleeding nose. For a moment, the two men just glared at each other, until the taller one stood up from the ground, trying to regain his composure. Straightening his collar, he looked at the blood on his hand, a provoking smirk crossing his lips.
“You can still pack a punch, I’ll give you that.”
“Okay, you go now, come on.” The bartender tapped Eren on the shoulder, “we don’t condone that kind of behavior around here.”
“It’s alright, chief,” Jean put his hand in the air as a sign of protest, “It was my fault. I’ll be the one to leave.”
Eren’s fists were clenched so hard, his veins were visible. His head was spinning from the mix of the alcohol and the adrenaline the whole encounter brought. As he watched Jean pull out his wallet to pay for his drink, he tried to calm himself down by taking a deep breath and unclenching his fists.
“Oh.. one more thing.”
Sharp pain was felt throughout his whole left side, most notably in his eye. Eren hit the ground, his hand flying to his temple, which was now throbbing uncontrollably. His vision was blurry, the pain quickly traveling to his whole head.
“That was for her, you piece of shit.” Jean spat before he turned around to leave.
Eren tried to get up, but the pain was too severe, and the beers he’d drunk didn’t make it any easier.
It became all blurry after that. The last thing he heard were the bartender’s and his father’s muffled voices, and then a car engine starting.
But the last thing he saw before he closed his eyes.. was Lily.
And you.
And as much of a drunken fool as he was, that night, he still fell asleep with a smile on his face.
…..
A/N: Hi🥹 I can’t express to you how happy I am that there is interest in this story. This chapter was a little tough to write and I hope I did it justice as much as I could. I’m going to try and post a chapter every week or two, so stay tuned!
Ps: if you want to be tagged, just say so<3 reblogs are deeply appreciated.
Tag list:
@vlsquuu @love-is-sick @shima707 @6sakusa @p4lli @intimacywithcelestine @docufanfic @jaegersdiary @xcelestina @fvckingeetar @theforest @roronoazorosbxtchh @hannaburnout
#eren jaeger#eren jaeger x reader#eren smut#eren x reader#eren jaeger smut#eren fluff#eren jaeger fluff#eren jaeger angst#eren angst
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FSR rambles 18 dreams about being gannon
Direct parallels to Gannon/OOT.
Sweet time to mention Shadow can play the piano haha. I have a plan for a comic on HOW he learned but that's a later date type thing.
HERO OF TIME HIIIIIII. 💖 Also Naavi.
He's here to murder shadow. Noice.
Seems like Shadow's just getting haunted by this guy considering his appearance earlier in the comic in page 290 -
Seems like Hero of Time just isn't a fan of him or smth. XDDD
Ouch. That looked like it hurt.
Also hi who are you.
Also considering I know who you are...Why are your eyes Blue buddy? :D
"Aw shit. I got sliced"
"Also I'm younger"
Ah dream logic.
Hi Perry-
I mean uhhh
Totally mysterious purple clad hero.
This is a character from the planned sequel of FSR. and I can't speak much about him. You'd know a decent amount about him if you've seen the FSRA posts.
Also his eyes changed...Again...
When I dream I have nothing but nightmares too shadow. Smh.
Oh Hi Link. Why are you wearing white and black. Basically the reverse of Dark Link's fit? Not weird at aaaaall considering that wasn't what he was wearing before he pulled the sword...
It's been around for awhile NOW but Shadow's hair changing to have a red streak...much like a certain gerudo man we know isn't odd at ALLLLLL.
Also nice Malice eyes Shadow.
Yeah I'm sure the magic demonic 8 ball will have the answers you seek Shadow.
Considering the Gannon flashbacks we just saw...Who's "him" Dark? Because Dark could just as easily be talking about Vaati here. But really it's up in the air on who he meant exactly.
Dark keeping his horns from his vaati convo and it appearing on his human ish form was a fun detail to add.
Random note to think about: Dark had to put himself back in Shadow's hat after sneaking off to vaati's house and that imagery is funny so I'm sharing it with you.
Dark's hair is still vaati colored as well and his behavior is reflecting him still.
Link talking about food and sleeping is just about the most link thing ever so Dark gives absolutely no shits about it.
Haha you should have chosen your words more wisely shadow...
It ALMOST sounds like you don't WANT Link here...which Dark can pick up on pal-
Oh shit. You repeated it you meant it.
Yeah don't shout Link could wake up.
Dark kinda SORTA seems to know what's happening...
But he's using "I think" and uncertain language. (You know he's not sure of smth if he's using phrasing like that hah. Since he's usually so self assured in his assumptions.)
Lol ignore how often my dumbass forgot to keep Shadow's hair right. Mistakes happen. 😅
Hey Shadow, abusing the nutcase isn't gonna get you very far.
Especially because he hates your guts.
Dark's kinda right here tho. Shadow's being selfish as hell rn.
The phrase "Does the word "HERO" just have no meaning to you? You disgust me" specifically gets a chuckle out of me considering who's mouth it's coming out of.
Dark continues to miss identify Shadow as Gannon when he said "you're as old as time" (More of a reference to demise depending on how you look at it but same diff)
Dark sweating visibly showing he's still very much scared of Shadow.
Shadow pulled his head out of his ass for a second and realized Dark's acting weird. (Like Vaati)
Dark's instant snap back is amusing but also sad. Like. Shadow doesn't "know him" not in any meaningful way. But he does yield and admit he was looking at memories for... YEARS in the head space.
Which is just a level of horror beyond comprehension.
Imagine spending YEARS looking at other people's memories just to get yanked out of it randomly by mr root of all evil himself bitching at you about smth you don't even know about, some guy you had a single conversation with YEARS AGO. But oh yeah. It's only been maybe 8 hours in the real world and all perception of time and reality was thrown off and you're being accused of being a different person after all that shit.
To say Dark Link isn't having a fun or good time would be an understatement.
I touched on it in a fic where Link and Dark bang of all places but Dark's existence is an existential nightmare.
Dark Link's EXISTANCE isn't fun for him. He's gonna mention it later too but he's MISSERABLE and vocal about his misery and pain just being alive.
Something weird to think about: Who's memories was he even looking at?
Really from his vague description it could be ANYONE.
I personally like to think it's vaati's considering he still has his hair shifted to be vaati's tone, is acting like vaati and mentions shadow being "Annoying"
though Link and vio are high possibilities too haha.
A mix of all of them aren't off base either.
Identity crisis how fun...Dark struggling to separate himself from the memories he's witnessed is concerning to say the least.
At least he's willing to be helpful with what he thinks is going on.
Really he could have just said "Fuck off figure it out yourself" but he offers to try and explain shit to Shadow from his perspective.
Dark's openness to cooperate despite everything is smth noteworthy.
He has literally no reason to do shit like this (Even if it fails) ESPECIALLY considering his distaste for Shadow. He just does shit that's helpful or nice cause he can.
Just little characterizations that Dark Link is more like Link than you'd first think considering his introduction.
Also OOT reference again with Ganon entering the sacred realm to steal the Triforce of power.
The second Shadow mentions them splitting is a relief, Dark cosplays Vio. XDDDD
Even Shadow thinks that was Vio like haha.
Dark's avoiding Link is the funniest part of this. "Oh shit he's waking up, gotta run. Don't wanna talk to him." XDDD
Don't do it Shadow.
It's a terrible idea.
Last time Link was here he was wanting to off himself so he might not be the most mentally sound individual!
Also who's happy to be woken up...
Dark Link being the voice of reason here about the pros and cons to waking Link up or even listening to him haha.
Considering what happens HAPPENS, that probs would have happened REGUARDLESS of if he was woken up or not. The change really is down to whether or not Shadow would A. Even be around for it. B. Be the one to wake Link up and have that burden on his mind or C. Just let shit happen.
Shadow is putting a ton of pressure on Dark to give answers or be helpful AND CORRECT but like...dude Dark doesn't know, he's guessing too lmfao.
Shadow makes what I consider a very foolish choice which was waking Link up.
Dark held back the explosion aspect but he is here to have fun first so uhhhh...Well he DID say it'd be funny to him and not Shadow.
Shadow defaults to blaming Dark Link "Damn demon" which...Shadow learn some accountability.
Panel by panel breakdown cause stuffs getting jucy:
1- Interesting outfit choice Link. It's the one he wore when he was a bit younger. So he's got a younger mindset when waking up. Which is just sad.
2- his outfit changes to half blue half green with a purple sleeve, his hands are all sorts of wrong and mish mashed with red and purple nails. His eyes also have the wrong color. His body is distorting all over the place...Interesting.
3- Shadow you shouldn't have said anything. The coward's hiding too lmfao he knows he fucked up.
4- Safe to say he's not very happy.
Link's distorting and glitching is based on video game glitches. Which is fun because: LOZ is a video game.
There's something distinctly haunting and uncanny about buggy/glitchy game assets and I wanted to capture it here.
Like the reality of four people being forced into one body is quite horrifying and the idea of them just bugging out unable to process how many thoughts there are is overwhelming. Literally like overloading a computer or gaming system.
There's also something to be said about how he fully breaks after seeing Shadow Link.
This is brought up later so I'll expand upon it later but the fact literally the only words Shadow Link spoke to LINK was "I'm the hero Link" or smth like that is hysterical.
For living together for 7 years: They truly don't know each other well on a personal level considering their ability to communicate was stunted by Shadow being...Well a Shadow. And I wanna explore that more as the series goes on.
1- Lol Green hi thanks for trying to stay calm.
2- Vio's here too. Something tells me calming down isn't working considering your face is cracking more and the tunic is flashing different colors.
3- Shadow I swear to god, shut your mouth-
4- Yeaaaaaah we saw that coming. Ouch looks painful. Good thing that body is magic hahaha.
Link's just not having a good time at all. XD
I think a few people caught this but Link breaking down here was based on the forced gem fusions in SU also the distorted static version of the cartoons from learning with pibby XD
It was good inspo for how horrific this scenario is.
Really all of them are just kinda, shoved in there. Unable to truly escape and they're NOT HAPPY about it.
Blue specifically is trying to get out as we'll know later and we get more context on his thoughts about this ordeal from the Darkblue chapter... But visually you can see Link's got two faces and it remains consistent that that's Blue.
Which, is terrifying.
There's also the underlying horror that the "Why" Link is back in one body isn't truly addressed but we'll get more into that later.
Shadow running for his damn life haha.
I'd be scared too if that mess was crawling at me.
The sad thing is that Link's reaching out for help and Shadow responds by screaming in terror lmfao.
Cause Link seems monstruous at the moment but the reality of the situation is he's very clearly conscious and scared. He's reaching out to the only person he can, which is Shadow.
I think this might be my favorite design of Link in this state. It's just horrific to look at. The eyes bleeding onto both his faces which are cracked like mirrors so you can't tell what he's looking at. He has Vio and Blue's legs sticking out of his back, and entire extra head forcing its way off his main one, it's hard to tell from these but his skin is glitching in both Red and Blue's separate skin tones (Blue's being a bit darker and Red's being lighter)
His tunic is pitch black which, black absorbs all wavelengths of light and reflects none...Literally keeping it trapped haha.
Yeah. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING.
Anyway, Link/Green, Vio and red are all reaching out to shadow but blue is suspiciously absent haha.
Them grabbing onto Shadow is smth Vio would do...
The four sword's lil gem thingy is glitched to shit too. Each colored piece being a different size. Green's is noticeably larger while Blue and Red's are about the same size. Vio's is the smallest.
Shadow's hat is doing that thing Dark does when he's upset where it clings to his body.
Yeah feeling like you can't do anything would be a feeling you fall into frequently being trapped as a shadow.
Take that agency back Shadow it's been robbed from you for too long.
Blue: GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME!!!!
Jokes aside I love this moment. Link getting more stable as he keeps Shadow close to him is sweet.
Link just needed a hug. UwU
Or...Less cute option: Maybe...The triforce of power had something to do with it...
Link/Red crying immediately when Shadow says a single word lmfao.
Link's so pretty I love him. I'm glad he's back a bit.
"Shadow, stop talking." could apply to everything he says to link as of rn. XD
Link's still very much emotionally distressed and I'd be too after THAT SHIT SHOW.
I do think it's funny how Link is wearing black here and Shadow is wearing white. (It's just his usual underclothes without his tunic)
Yes shut up and please just hug him it's clearly what he needs rn Shadow. X'D
Perfect cut off point lmfao.
#fsr rambles#fsr#four swords adventures#four swords returns#four swords manga#four swords#four swords returns au#loz fsr au#loz#shadow link#dark link
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this may very well be the most important and widely-yearned for request you shall ever receive.
i beg you to fulfill our deepest desires, and make a serene x reader fic. my bias in tubatu, the love of my life.
serene supremacy!
you’ve got your own fandom at this point girl we luv you
「 𝐁𝐄𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐍𝐎𝐎𝐍 」
DREAM RECALL morning cuddles with your girlfriend were your favorite, when you had nothing to do but be with each other, the world could wait as long as you got to spend another five minutes in her arms.
wc. 632
pairings serene x gn!reader warnings just fluff, am not writing smut about myself, waking up next to prompt, cuddling, some light kisses/pecks, tiniest bit of suggestiveness, descriptions of my piercings/tattoos, can this count as a written face reveal? idk, established relastionship.. hm don't think I've missed anything !
#serene adds ✎ this is a joke, and meant to be perceived as such ! PLEASE DO NOT TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY. this does not represent me as a person in any way and is purely written for shits and giggles, (which I had many of), with that said, enjoy and try not to cringe too much :3
anyway, lets all kiss also.
The first rays of sunshine peek through the thin curtains hung on the dainty windows of your small house. Your quaint bedroom becomes basked in a glowing warmth and with a small groan, you stir on the soft mattress. — It takes a moment for your groggy eyes to adjust to the near blinding sun as you blink the last remnants sleep away.
What time was it?
Rolling over to reach for your phone on the nightstand, you’re stopped by an arm draped across your waist as Serene pulls you back against her still sleepy form. “Leave it”, she mutters under her breath before letting out a small exhale, the hot puff of air hitting your shoulder.
A small smile spreads across your lip as you let yourself fall back into her embrace, resting your head on the plush pillow as you study her slumbering figure. — From the blonde hair, reflecting in the sunlight as it fell across her face, to her nose, occasionally scrunching, the silver jewelry on it dangling slightly.
Unable to resist, you reach out to brush her hair back, revealing the small dots of pigment covering her cheeks as they spread in a small ocean of freckles. The light touch makes her eyes flutter, blonde lashes twitching as grey irises meet yours. — “What?” She wonders, mouth forming into a small pout as the ring around her bottom lip juts forward.
“Nothing”, you merely shrug, giggling when she throws a leg over your own, pulling herself flush against your chest. “Hm-mhm”, she hums, letting her chin rest on top of your head as her fingers trail down your sides. — “Keep lookin’ at me like that and we’ll never get out of bed.”
Her words make your face flush with color as you give her shoulder a playful push. “Shut up”, you huff, though letting your hands intertwine with her long hair as you inhale the scent of vanilla radiating from her. — Mornings like these were your favorite, when you had nothing to do but be with each other, the world could wait as long as you got to spend another five minutes in her arms.
When with her, you began to wonder what was real and what wasn’t. Something like this, so perfect, molded out of pure love, it couldn’t possibly be real could it? — Leaning back slightly, you let the pads of your fingers trail across the butterflies on her collarbone, following their outlines as you imagine them taking off, flying somewhere far away, their soft and frail wings fluttering tenderly.
But when your gaze returns, they remain engraved on her pale skin and you reminisce the plenty of kisses you had placed to them. — “What’s got your pretty mind so occupied?” Serene wonders as she, too, leans back to study you with a subtle frown. Biting the inside of your cheek, you shake your head, “just thinking…”
She emits a small scoff, the press of her lips against your forehead makes your heart race and the feel of cool metal makes your stomach flutter. “You do that a lot”, she hums, her hand soft as it cups your face. — “Tell me”, she then says, her stormy eyes glinting with intrigue, “I want to know your every thought.”
“That would take forever”, you retort, though pressing a small kiss to her open palm. Serene merely rolls her eyes, “we’ve got all the time in the world”, she presses to which you shake your head once more. “Wrong, we need to be up before noon”, you state as you press a finger to her lips which immediately curl under your skin.
“Is that a challenge?” She asks and you firmly nod. With a small sigh she retaliates but you catch the mischievous edge to her voice as she says;
“Bet.”
→ want to get notified whenever a new dream is published? join my TAGLIST ᰔ © all rights reserved ─ @beomiracles 2024
#this is a joke#help me#beomiracles ₊˚⊹ ᰔ#serene x reader#serene x you#kiss me#lol#serene speaks �� ࣪ ˖
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Hiiii
Okay but like...imagine you notice weird things going on around your apartment...things go missing, stuff is moved, little things like that, but you don't think much of it. But then imagine you wake up one night to a noise and you see this tall figure standing at the end of your bed going through things on your vanity. The figure hears you and turns around before pinning you down with his large hand clamped around your mouth. (I can't decide if you should know Ted or not so you can decide that). He ends up fucking you, lots of "I've been waiting for this for so long." "I'm gonna make you so happy." "All mine now." "My little dolly". You know, cute shit like that. (Also IDK how you'd want to incorporate this but i'm also like imagining that scene in The Boy where the dude has the girls dress and like recreated her on his bed?) Anyway, name of Jesus Christ, Amen
I’m gonna do what I did in Stalker and make reader a fan but she isn’t an insomniac??? Howwww???
“Wait, how did you get in?”
Ted Nivison x afab!reader
MDNI I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN
You are having a normal day, taking a shower at 9, doing skincare, going back into your room, and watching Ted Nivison’s videos on your laptop until 11 then going to sleep. You wake up from a nice dream a sex dream at about 4 or 5 am. You look ahead of you and see a tall figure rummaging through your stuff. “Wha-“ You start but you're too tired to finish your sentence. It could just be a delusion, right? “Hello, sweetheart.” You hear come from the tall man. He sounds like Ted Nivison.. You think. “Are you Ted Nivison?” You ask, being too sleepy to even care. “Why don’t you find out?” He chuckles softly as he comes closer to you. You can see the reflection from the window off his glasses and your eyes widen. “The fuck? Why are you in my house?” “I didn’t expect you to say that.” “Then what did you expect?” You rub your eye tiredly. “Well, I expected you to have a fangirl moment. You do have pictures of me everywhere.” He says as he opens his arms as if offering a hug. In his right hand, you see him holding a pair of your lacy panties that your friend had bought you for your 18th birthday. Ted crawls into your bed and pins you down as if you were going to try and run. Like, dude? You’re too tired, duh. You wake up a little more and realize the situation more. “If I fall asleep you can continue whatever you started.” You say to him as a smirk appears on his face. “Whatever you say, princess.” He says as he nips at your neck. You put your hands under his shirt and pull it over his head, discarding it to the floor. He does the same to your shirt and starts to nip at the new bare skin. A couple of whines leave your mouth which motivates him to leave marks. What feels like only a few seconds pass and both of you are naked, he’s lying on his back as you look at him with tired, almost innocent eyes. His large hand cups your cheek and his thumb rubs the skin there. You lean into his touch, almost falling asleep. “Stay with me, darling.” He whispers. “Mm..” You mumble out as his hands move to your hips, he then flips you around so you’re on your back underneath him. He puts the tip to your entrance and slowly pushes forward, loving the way you whimper at the pleasure. He pushes all the way in in one swift movement making you let out a whine. “Fuck- so tight..” Ted groans out. “T-Teddy- please-“ You whine out as he starts slow thrusts, letting out groans of your name or how wet you are. “Been waiting for this for so long, gonna make you so much more happy than that last douche- fuck.” He says as his thrusts pick up pace and your moans grow louder. “Fuck!- S-so close- please, Teddy!” You moan out, you definitely weren’t falling back asleep now. “Fuck- gonna cum!” You let out an almost pornographic moan making Ted’s eyes widen and lips part slightly. “Cum for me, darling.” He says into your ear as you clench down on him, cumming on his cock. This throws him over the edge and he cums inside you, pulling out and moving down to your cunt that’s leaking with yours and his mixed cum. “My little dolly now, mine too play with whenever I want.” He mumbles as he licks a stripe up your clit before sucking on it, moans leaving your mouth as your hands meet his hair, you feel two of his huge fingers enter you, even louder moans coming out of your mouth now. “Fuck- Ted!” He looks up at you and the sight almost makes you cum on the spot. His fingers go quick inside you drawing loud moans and whimpers from your mouth. You cum on his fingers and he works you through it before pulling his fingers out of you and sucking your cum off, lapping up any last bit he didn’t get. He gets up and walks into your bathroom, getting a rag and cleaning the two of you up. He then goes over to your dresser and pulls out some clean clothes for you and getting in his bag for his own clothes- was he planning this? He walks back over to you and helps you get dressed and then he’s dressed himself. He crawls into bed beside you and pulls you into him. “I love you, Y/n.” “I love you too, Teddy.” You close your eyes to go to sleep. “Wait- how did you get in?”
#ted nivison#ted nivison smut#ted nivison x reader#ted nivison x you#smut#fanfiction#lunch club#lunch club podcast#Ted lunch club
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Okay, @itbmojojoejo. Mojo, after an evening of reflection, which included some very strange (and dare I say, cursed) dreams, I have the following commentary / Top 5 characters for you.
Under cut to save anyone who isn't following me for off-topic rants.
First, while I have watched, or at least been in the room with, a lot of anime over the years, it's never been an obsession and I don't really think it ever will be.
Don't get me wrong. The imagery is usually very visually stimulating and unique. So pretty/wierd/wtf to look at. And the storylines can be just as deep/intense/thoughtful/emotional as live action, but I think that's the difference for me. I can't quite get past the "pen & paper" of it.
So I'm never gonna ship myself with an anime character. And nothing at all against character shipping, but my brain isn't going there automatically and I'm probably not investing energy.
BUT, I do need something to keep me watching the pretty (or slimey/gloopy/messy) pictures, so let's dive in.
1. Toge. Salmon. (I was going to leave it at that, but...) Look. I'm an adult. Many of these stories are about children. And children can be screechy, annoying things at times. So this guy who only speaks in rice ball ingredients unless he's exercising curses is like a dream come true! Bonito flakes. (Plus, you were 1000% right about seeing more of him in JJK 0 and I really am fond of him, okay? Please tell me I'm still safe from heartbreak. No, don't say anything. I'll find out this weekend when I resume S2.)
2. Gojo. Obviously. He's the best and strongest. He's a sarcastic asshole giving his all to teach his students how to handle their shit and still has to put himself in harm's way and do some pretty unsavory things (killing cursed humans - waaahhhh) over and over. His hair is crazy. He walks around blindfolded. (I still haven't figured out why. Did I miss some dialog about it somewhere along the way?) And he's lost is best friend in possibly the worst way imaginable.
3. Yuji. First impressions. This was the initial storyline for S1 and I love his pink hair and absolutely insane decision to just fucking eat the finger to save his friend! I'm nervous for him because of Sukuna, but the tattoos (I think of the little Sukuna-faces on his face as tattoos, plus all Sukuna's tattoos) are neat.
4. Yuta. (Who I want to call Yutu because the fucking subtitles kept sticking U2 in for his name. And no, not everytime. He also had a million variations like Maki.) Who knew switching to JJK 0 would bring out this underdog? Heard about him in S1, but never met him, really until now. I was about to be torn because what a little shit, to curse his own friend like that. Who dooms themself to be linked forever to another person at like, age 5, even without a curse?? But it sounds like he didn't understand his own power/heritage and so, forgive. And also Rika is bad-ass.
5. Maki. I hated her in S1. What a bitch. But here we go again with backstory and I now admire her tenacity.
Bonus 1: Geto. Fine. Fine! I can admit this character deserves love. I guess. He's Gojo's best friend and a bad-ass technically, but also, what choice, man. What a choice. And, yes, the backstory helped clear up what is now happening in S2 (and S1 really, right?)
Bonus 2: Megumi. I'm sad for him. His father seemed like a total ass. And I love the parallel friendship with Yuji/ Gojo&Geto. Though does that mean...? No, don't say anything.
Sorry, I've lost a little steam on these, and honestly, the more I type, the more I am convincing myself there are other characters to love. Picking 5 (7) was hard. They all have their strong points and weaknesses (Mechamaru you total jerk! But also, the will to survive is so strong!) but I will not get sucked in...
Happy Friday!!!!
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in love with the fact the Halloween costumes haven't left (and Hunter's still in his wolf shirt). you'd think the crew would have them change into clothes more tonally appropriate for trying to stop the end of the world and having breakdowns and emotional conversations and personal revelations and catharsis but NOPE. sometimes scary/important shit happens when you are unprepared and aren't dressed for the occasion and you gotta deal with it!! unironically love that. they're KIDS, MAN!
I am so grateful honestly because their costumes fucking SLAP!!! Not an ugly fit in sight. And you're right, it really emphasises just how young and carefree they really are. Just a bunch of silly kids who who were torn away from their silly Halloween party and unexpectedly thrown into this madness.
Because I'm Like This, I've also been thinking a lot about the symbolism of their outfits since TTT aired. I'm probably reaching and none of this was unintentional but it's still fun to think about.
Gus, dressed as Captain Avery, the protagonist of the awesome Human Realm book that helped him cope with missing his Dad. The book with the line "We'll find a way back. We have to." A line that apparently stuck with Gus enough that he immediately made the connection once Hunter said it. I like to think the resilient hopeful tone of Cosmic Frontier was something that helped Gus keep his spirits up.
Not to mention that it's Sci-Fi, something that is so distinctively human. Gus, the boy who has defined himself as a passionate human enthusiast, whose dream is to become an ambassador to their Realm, is gonna shine in the final episode wearing a symbol of all his enduring optimism and passion and imagination.
Willow is a peculiar case. She is, ironically, a girl who was once considered half a witch now wearing a big loud declaration that she is, in fact, a witch in full. And then some!! It's not in the same vein that Luz and Amity are dressed as magic girl-esque witches. Willow's got the whole ooky spooky cackling and spiderwebs kinda witch vibe. Well, to be specific, it's a bit of a witch/devil hybrid.
Like let's get it out of the way, she looks like Evelyn. The stripey tights, the jagged skirt, the fact that her costume was originally meant to be red, just like the witchy cutout that hung above them during the hayride. Although only the last episode will tell if anything is gonna come from this. Maybe it's just a coincidence. But I think it's very interesting that she's dressed as a stereotypical reflection of how the Human Realm views witches/demons. And then there's Belos, a human man who is defined by his black and white perception of witches as the scum of the earth. He believes they're wild, they're evil, they're dangerous, they're monstrous. Which, at first glance, doesn't represent Willow at all. But then FTF happens, and the viewer is reminded that Willow's magic can be unstable. That she can be dangerous. She can be monstrous.
However, there's also that little W patch on her arm, reminding us that she may be a witch but she's also a silly girl named Willow wearing a personalised Halloween costume. She's not defined by being dangerous. She's so much more than that. She's full witch Willow and she's going out with a bang.
Amity is dressed as Hecate, Azura's rival turned friend turned heavily wlw coded best friend (I guess???), which obviously mirrors Amity's own role when the story initially began. There's a bit of significance linked to the Azura books and what they mean to Amity. Namely, from Lost in Language, when her chilly exterior began to crack. Her secret hideaway in the library was discovered, which acts as a representation of the person that she really is, but desperately tries to hide. And, on full display, was the Azura books. She had all but one, which Luz allowed her borrow. The missing piece that set Amity's whole motivation to change into motion.
That book was the tentative olive branch between her and Luz. And, with Luz's influence, it kickstarted her journey into becoming a better person, taking control of her own life, cutting toxic relationships, repairing others, etc. It's possible that Amity wouldn't be the kind and happy girl she is today without the Azura books. So, her diving into the finale while representing those books is very sweet. Also....I love her Hecate outfit. Its SOOOOOO pretty. The boots, the dress, the celestial aesthetic!!! Serve!!!!
I feel like I don't need to go that in depth about the significance of Hunter's costume. We all get it. He discovered Cosmic Frontier when he was struggling to come to terms with his status as a grimwalker, which severely clouded his sense of identity. Hunter not only connected with O'Bailey, but it gave him the opportunity to see a representation of a thing he hated about himself from a more empathetic perspective. Hunter accepted O'Bailey, Hunter loved O'Bailey, Hunter became obsessed with O'Bailey. The book was probably a big stepping stone in accepting himself. Hunter cannot ignore the fact that he's a grimwalker. He can't sweep it under the rug. But he can embrace it. As somebody who is tied to the legacy of Caleb Wittebane against his will, it must be comforting to feel like he can latch on to a cool space hero, rather than an anonymous witch hunter from 400 years ago.
Hunter's sense of identity is very important to his arc. So, the T-shirt is also very fitting. Hunter's gonna have his final confrontation Belos, who constructed him as a doll of someone else, while wearing the wolf T-shirt he personalized himself and a homemade O'Bailey costume. Because his name is Hunter and Hunter loves wolves, sewing and Cosmic Frontier.
And Luz....man. I feel like there's SO MUCH significance to Luz ending this story dressed as the Good Witch Azura and I don't even think I can do it justice. It's like....that's her. Azura means everything to her. It's shaped her into the person she is today. The Good Witch Azura is the reason Luz loves magic. And if Luz didn't love magic, she never would have stayed in the Demon Realm. It brought her closer to Amity. It's what inspired her to read and write and draw and imagine and create. It's an outlet for all her passion for stories. It was the thing that comforted her and brought her genuine hapiness during the darkest point in her entire life. It reminds her just how much Manny loved her. It reminds her just how much she loves Manny.
Luz is a character who is defined by all this relentless love and almost all of it can be linked back to Azura. Fiction, art, magic, family. She's a kid who has endured so much pain but she has such a capacity for appreciating the eccentricities of the world around her. She's full of light.
It's worth noting that Luz began the story having a hard time differentiating fantasy from reality. As such, using the Azura universe as a form of escapism was a little unhealthy. However, that's not the case anymore. Luz has matured into a much wiser person, but that doesn't mean she has to let go of her love for fantasy stories. She's found this perfect balance where she can accept the world as it is, while still being able to indulge in her storybooks in a healthy way. I don't think Azura will ever stop being an important aspect of her life.
Luz is carrying the memory of Manny with her until the finale. She's weird and she has always been loved for being weird and once this is all over, she'll keep being weird and she'll keep being loved for it.
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"Nona the Ninth"
14/07/2024
Reading progress: 274/477 (57%) Read through since last update: 158
Reading this book is such a joy. I keep surprising myself by how easy it is to read. I go through twenty pages without even realizing. it I missed reading such books. I missed being so immersed in a book. Man, it feels good! I decided to share some really CRAZY ideas in this post because my reading diary is meant as a brain dump. Don't take them too seriously. I just like thinking about all the possibilities. (I'm usually wrong, but it's fun to see by how much.)
So, notes:
I was so into these last two chapters that I didn't even remember to comment.
I love how Pyrrha calls Nona all these cutesy nicknames. And how sweet and gentle she is with her.
I audibly gasped when Palamedes needed to confess to Pyrrha that Cam sold her cigarettes. Literally 😮. Only for Pyrrha to take it as a champ. (She obviously took enough shit that day.)
So, blue dot in the sky. Earth or Uranus? Or Neptune? I'm guessing we're on some moon, but not sure which one. Considering they keep talking about how hot it is and that it's almost always day, they should be somewhere near the center of the solar system. Might as well be Venus considering how everything is VERY toxic and they need to wear gas masks outside. (Addition from future me: Bruh, I have no idea.)
Palamedes, my man. 🤝 This is a guy that knows what it's all about. (The nurse thing. I'm dating one, so yeah.)
Been thinking about Harrow and how she ruled on a dead planet and how John promised her new people when she succeeded with her task as a Lyctor. New people. New future. But where do all those bodies come from? So, my random thought of the day is that maybe she got promised some of the bodies transported in the Convoy? Speculating, speculating, I know. But I decided to write this down, so I can reflect on it later. (Future me: Still have no idea what the Convoy is for, but with everything happening, this idea really is a LONG SHOT.)
HAHAHAHAHHAA Palamedes calling Cam a hypocrite. Love it.
I keep forgetting to comment, and a lot's been happening. The "little" meeting Cam, Pyrrha, and Nona had with the Crown and the Comander was insightful, but difficult to follow. I got like? Half of it? But managed to understand the most important things - there's a craft in orbit and they have no idea what it is, there's some background for the first book and Cytherea's mission, then we see Judith and Crown realizes Cam is hiding Palamedes. Marvelous.
Millie? Lol, I'd be mad too. I have no idea why Palamedes didn't react. I certainly would.
Nona's the weapon. Cool. They're growing their own Lyctor. So, the body needs to be a necromancer that ingested the soul of a cavalier? Yeah, whatever, we'll see. My money's on The Body being Nona, but who even knows at this point. (Not me.)
But one thing I am excited for (after I finish Nona) is FINALLY going into the locked tomb tag without the fear of spoilers. Can't wait!
Fuck! That's true. Nona truly is Camilla's age. And Corona's. I keep imagining her younger because she is childlike, but I shouldn't. Granted, I think that's also the point of Muir writing her like that. Nona is constantly babied and talked down to because she doesn't understand the world as the rest of them do. She can't. At least not yet. Anyway, yeah, this sentence reminded me to adjust the way I imagine Nona. She definitely needs to be a little taller in my head. (Even though she is still shorter than Camilla.)
"Beef." 🙄
HAHAHAHAH crying again. Yeah, me too, John.
Yo. What the fuck.
Makes sense because Gideon has taken over Harrow's body, but still. Huh? (At least that's my guess. I don't know)
PYRRHA'S MISSING? NOOOO.
Oh yeah, ok. Are John and Harrow somewhere by the River like how Harrow's dreams were? Also, still guessing at this point, but I've been thinking about this ever since John's chapters started. (Primarily because their location is very surreal, very dreamlike.)
"I've carried you, Warden. And I've carried your memory... I'd rather carry you." AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Ok, so... If Hot Sauce didn't know Nona was a Lyctor, what was the secret Nona told her when they were lying next to each other at school?
Okay, wrapping off here because this post got a little long. I'll do my best to finish off this book quickly because I have a trip coming up next week and I won't have the time to read which will make me frustrated because I HAVE TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS. Anyway, I'm really, really loving Nona so far. It's very different and the pace was quite slow, but I love that about Muir's writing. Every book in this series has been a breath of fresh air, something so unique, but familiar at the same time. ❤
#moj post#reading journal#dnevnik čitanja#dnevnik citanja#nona the ninth#the locked tomb#tamsyn muir
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It's still Sunday here - barely - so here's a Six Sentence Sunday.
First, the sequel to Closer and Closer Still. It's unnamed as of yet and opens with Eobard having run back home after Barry kissed him for the first time (at the end of chapter 1 of Closer and Closer Still). He is freaking out, though Eobard would never admit it.
“I can’t stay. I can’t be a hero. I can’t… I can’t be his.” Eobard’s voice shook at the last words.
It was as though this timeline had twisted into a fun house mirror reflection of the fantasies Eobard had once held, when he was still young, innocent, and naive. He’d imagined finding the Flash and being mentored by him or being his equal. In his more… lonely and amorous moments, he’d dared to dream of the Flash as his lover, older and more experienced. Willing to guide Eobard’s passion in every sense.
Eobard is telling himself, of course, that he can't afford the distraction when his goal is to go back home. But, of course, what does he really have to look forward to go back to? Barry might not have to work as hard as he thinks to give Eobard reasons to want to stay...
I've also started on a show finale Westhallen fix-it - my second fix fic after the Eobard/Savitar crackfic I posted up the other day - where the fic opens with establishing that Barry's in love with Eddie and still feels that way after all these years. So does Iris.
Barry had visited Eddie's grave probably more times than was healthy that first summer after Eddie died. It was an empty grave, but it had Eddie's name on it and... Barry'd confessed a lot of things he'd been too afraid to say before.
How much he'd admired Eddie. How much he missed the way Eddie said his name, called him 'Bar' in a way he could now barely stand for anyone to say. How much he'd loved Eddie. Still loved him even now, all these years after saying the words, finally, to an empty grave.
Barry had told Iris, later. After they'd moved in together and Iris had been hesitating to put out some of the things that had been Eddie's. He'd been making a mess of things, before Eddie died. Because his own feelings had been a mess. And he'd realized far too late that he was almost as in love with Eddie as he'd already been with Iris.
The first part will probably be a bit Barry & Eddie heavy as they try to figure out a way to deal with the N!SF without Eddie dying or developing the temper issues Eobard and Nora 1.0 suffered from. I want them both there with Iris when Nora 2.0 is born. Then Iris can give Eddie a speech that refutes what she said in canon because S1 Iris loved Eddie - she said screw the future and she meant it. The future she and Barry are going to have together may be something she wants to fight for now, but she wants to fight for Eddie to be a part of that future too.
I may wind up splitting this up into a series, which each part focused on a different aspect of the Westhallen fix-it. And I've got ideas for integrating Eddie into Team Flash - I see Mark not liking Eddie and, oh shit, I'm gonna have to try to write Mark at least somewhat sympathetically aren't I? *swears quietly* I guess I'll figure that out later. Caitlin, at least, will be happy to have Eddie back and alive. After Khione ascends to hang out with the Ancients from Stargate and Caitlin gets her body back, anyway. Though, of course, she's gonna have big feelings about Eddie being back when Ronnie came back but wasn't really Ronnie and Frost died for it. So happy for Eddie, but wary about his N!SF connections too.
#six sentence sunday#the flash#fanfiction#eobard thawne#barry allen#eobard x barry#eddie thawne#iris west#barry x eddie x iris
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PT. X: The End
Summary: In which the lost has, at long last, been found.
Words: 2,237
Warnings: n/a
Pairing: Morpheus x gender neutral reader
Notes: holy shit we finally made it :') massive shoutout to anyone that made it this far! hopefully i'll be posting a *refined* version of this on AO3 soon. mucho mucho love to all of you <3
Tag List: @ponyboys-sunsets @i-am-not-a-raccoon-anymore @memento-mora @freedomsofdream
The way back to the Dreaming is silent. Morpheus heads straight for the library, leaving you in the throne room alone. It’s quiet- too quiet. You wait a moment before sneaking in after him. The dream lord doesn’t notice as you duck behind one of the bookshelves, tiptoe-ing quietly towards Lucienne’s desk.
This is the second time you’ve eavesdropped on Morpheus. You have a quiet moment of reflection for the fact that you have never overheard good news.
No matter. Once you figure out how the hell to get back to the waking world, you’ll never have to worry about Morpheus or Lucienne or anyone ever again.
“Ezra may have been a dead end,” Morpheus admits. “The Corinthian is gone, so what power would he have here?”
Lucienne tilts her head towards his coat pockets. “My lord, he’s not entirely gone.”
Morpheus pulls the tiny skull from his pocket, holding it at a distance like some scene from Shakespeare. “You cannot be serious.”
Lucienne nods. “It is the last of him. If you destroy it, you’ll be destroying everything he had an influence on. Including them.”
“Not all of them,” Morpheus corrects her. You had been taken from the Dreaming, unfinished. You shudder at the thought of being reduced back to what you were. At this rate, you’d be better off destroyed entirely.
“I think you should speak with them first, my lord. Whatever choice you make will directly affect them, permanently.”
“I think…”
You miss the rest of their conversation in favor of putting yourself as far from the dream lord as possible. To exist is one thing, but to make him choose between The Corinthian and you?
The answer is obvious.
You know the dream lord is proud of his creations, and assume destroying The Corinthian was something akin to an unforgivable act. It had been hard enough, watching him crumble to dust in the auditorium.
There was at least hope, with The Corinthian, that he could be made again- better, stronger, even kinder perhaps.
But with you? You, with such a cruel joke of purpose, and you’d spent over a hundred years being quite the opposite of a perfect partner. What use is there in starting now?
You follow the cobblestone path outside of the castle, walking as far as your feet will take you. You take the time to bargain with your conscience- dying is the best you could wish for. It will hurt, but it will be temporary.
And Morpheus will be better off with someone new. A completely different blueprint, a brand-new dream that will never have known life as a weapon.
Gods, what a nightmare. You had to give The Corinthian credit, if only a little. You never imagined your purpose being so world-changing. Say you had destroyed Dream of the Endless? What would have happened then?
You’re so caught up in thought that you don’t even hear Morpheus calling after you. The city is far behind you, and looking down you find yourself standing in a field dotted with pink carnations.
Fiddler’s Green.
“Ellis!” Morpheus calls again, and he’s next to you in an instant. “What are you doing out here?”
“Getting one last good view in, I guess.”
Morpheus sighs. “It does not have to be the last.”
“It does. It does, ‘cause I’ll be damned if I make you pick between me and him,” you snap. “It’s not fair.”
You sit with a huff down in the carnations, folding your knees to your chest. Another magnificent sun is setting over the hills again.
Morpheus quietly sits next to you, watching as you pluck the nearest carnations to bits.
After a few minutes, you stop and sit still. “Can I see the book again?” you ask.
Morpheus pulls the hardcover book from his coat and hands it over. You leaf through the pages once more, looking for your rough draft.
You had hoped to see what you were meant to become- one last look before the end. And there you are, unfinished. The lilies in the column still make your stomach turn.
Morpheus watches you carefully, quietly. The sunset has cast a rose-gold hue onto everything, and he’s struck by how beautiful you look. His own creation.
The moment is ruined by the sound of tearing paper. You’re careful to avoid ripping out the other pages, but it isn’t right to have your failed existence in a book of proud accomplishments.
“There,” you say, handing the book back to Morpheus. He’s speechless. “Now you can start over, right?”
You’re overwhelmed by a sense of freedom, and of the end. This is it for you, and you should be allowed such an act of bravery.
“Ellis, that’s not-”
“Start over,” you interrupt. “I’m serious. Make somebody perfect from the start. And maybe don’t leave ‘em unfinished for too long.”
It’s a joke, but it still stings. If Morpheus had never left, who's to say you wouldn’t have had the perfect life?
The skull in Morpheus’ pocket feels like it’s burning a hole through his coat. There is so much he wants to say, and so little a chance that you would even listen. You’ve already made up your mind.
He pulls the trinket out anyways, watching your jaw drop in recognition. Frustrated, you play it off like another joke. “You could even make him your partner.”
“I want you.”
The words hang in the air between you, tinged with an endless yearning. Your heart flutters at the thought of what might have been.
“I can’t stay like this,” you say quietly.
“Then don’t,” Morpheus replies. His grip tightens on the skull, and a large crack appears to split above the jaw.
You reach for his arm, panicking when he squeezes even harder. “Dream, cut it out. You’re scaring me.”
“I do not mean to scare you. This is not a difficult choice for me, Ellis.”
“And what, I don’t get a say in it?”
“You do not have to stay here. But at least let me do this for you.”
“Okay,” you say quietly, releasing your grip on his arm. You sit in silence for a moment, preparing yourself for the worst. “Will it hurt?” you ask.
He looks at the last piece of the Corinthian for a moment, and the dozens of pressure cracks spider-webbing around the cranium. Before he can answer, you reach for his hand again.
“I don’t care.”
You squeeze as hard as you can, and within moments the little skull is crushed to bits of sand. For a moment, nothing happens. You can hear Morpheus holding his breath, waiting. Hoping. Praying, even.
A faint tingling sensation, like pins and needles, begins prickling up your arms. You look down to see the bones of your forearm revealed, the skin of your hands wisped away to skeletal fingers. Without a mirror, you can only assume the rest of your visage has been reduced to what it was before Ezra Lillin came into your life.
Empty eye sockets. Flesh stretched taut over your skull. Your left arm is missing in its entirety. For once, you’re afraid to look at the dream lord- not because of what you can do, but because of what you are.
“Ellis,” you hear him breathe out, finally.
“Hi.” You’re embarrassed, shockingly, to return to your previous form. You refuse to look away from your hands, refuse to finally meet the eye of the dream lord.
Morpheus is speechless. Seeing you now is like a hundred years had never passed. Here you are, his soulmate, exactly as he had left you. The rare view of a second chance.
The silence is deafening, for a moment. Morpheus breaks it with a simple question, one you had never once considered.
“What would you like to be?” he asks.
Yours, I want to be yours, please- “What am I supposed to be?” your voice is foreign once again, raspy and new.
Morpheus motions to the shreds of paper in front of you. “I would not know. I never… never got any farther than that,” he answers.
“That’s okay.” You’re quick to reassure him. “I… I don’t mind. Will it bother you? If I look the same?”
You could almost swear you hear him breathe a sigh of relief at the thought. “Not at all.”
He takes the sand from his coat pocket and carefully pours it into his hands, working quickly to form the missing pieces. A sweet breeze floats through Fiddler’s Green, and the sand blows with it, materializing the flesh that covers your bones. You watch in amazement, and within moments you’re almost complete.
Just missing the eyes.
“The most important part,” Morpheus comments, and for a moment you’re drawn back to Ezra’s shop, to the Corinthian. He had said the exact same sentiment, albeit for wildly different reasons.
The dream lord looks around for a moment before picking two morning glories from the path from the field. Carefully, he holds the flowers out to you.
“What do you think?” he asks.
“Are they going to be purple?” you ask.
Morpheus laughs, the sound ringing in your ears. ��Would you prefer a different color?”
You shake your head. Internally, you’re ecstatic. “No, they’re perfect.”
Morpheus nods. He pinches the rest of the sand into the center of the two blooms, balancing them carefully in one palm. “Alright,” he says, “Tilt your head back.”
You lean back on both arms, looking up to the sunrise setting over Fiddler’s Green. “Like this?” you ask, looking over slightly.
Morpheus nods, brushing the loose strands of hair away from your face. “Just like that,” he repeats quietly.
Gently, he places the flowers on each of your empty eye sockets. You would be irritated by the feeling if you weren’t so focused on the dream lord being so close to you. You’re certain he hears the breath hitch in your throat as he leans over.
He places a hand over your eyes, and for a moment, the world goes black. You’re briefly struck with the thought of something going wrong.
“I c-can’t see,” you stutter, panicking, and Morpheus takes his hand away, reaching for yours. He gives it a reassuring squeeze.
Still black.
“Ellis,” you hear him say with a laugh, “You have to open your eyes.”
You turn to him, eyes closed. “That’s it?” you ask incredulously.
“That’s it.”
You reach for both of his hands, holding them in front of you. His palms are warm and rough.
“Are you looking at me?” you ask.
“Ellis,” he says, “Look at me.”
And you do.
His irises are whirlpools of inky black, dotted with the same galaxies you’ve seen in the night sky of the Dreaming. You still get lost in them, but for once there are no flashes of sin, of regret, or despair.
Just the god of dreams, looking back at you so lovingly that without a second thought you lean forward, crashing your lips against his. He reaches gently to cup your face, stroking your cheek with his thumb.
You’re struck with the overwhelming sensation that this is where you are meant to be. You tug his collar to pull him closer, wishing it never had to end.
After a moment, he pulls away slowly, both of you breathless. The nervous butterflies in your stomach are going absolutely haywire, and you can’t help smiling like an idiot. Morpheus has an almost identical look, and if Fiddler’s Green could speak, he would tell you both how absolutely, dumbfoundingly lovestruck you look.
He settles for cultivating the red and yellow daisies that bloom in a small patch between you and the dream lord.
“Would you like to see them?” Morpheus asks, fabricating a small pocket mirror out of thin air.
You nod. He clicks the mirror open and hands it to you, watching as you take a deep breath to steel yourself from visibly reacting.
The morning glories have transformed into deep violet irises, with flecks of a lighter lavender. The edges are ringed in a pale gray. You watch yourself tear up at the sight, at how beautiful they are.
“Thank you,” you say quietly, closing the mirror as a tear spills down your cheek. Morpheus hesitates for only a moment before brushing it away gently with his thumb.
“Anything,” he answers, just as quiet, “for you.”
You’re overcome with a flood of emotion, an outpouring of love and gratitude and fucking relief.
You’re not a weapon anymore.
You won’t hurt anyone, not even Morpheus.
Especially Morpheus.
You wrap your arms around his neck in an embrace, almost falling into his lap when he sits back. You settle in sideways, your head tucked into his chest. He keeps an arm around your waist, his chin resting on the top of your head.
“You are welcome to return to the waking world,” he offers quietly. “Although you will always have a place here, with me.”
You ponder for a moment, what it would be like to have a normal life on the planet. For over a century, it had been the only thing you had wished for, more than anything.
But you know now, beyond a shadow of a doubt, this is where you belong. Where you have always belonged, close enough to hear your soulmate’s heartbeat.
“What if I want to stay?” you ask.
Morpheus pulls you even closer, pressing his lips gently to the top of your head.
“Then stay.”
<3
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so i saw the video and im really happy for dream and that he can finally leave this entire thing behind him get it off his shoulders and just go on ahead and post mc content (ALSO YAY MINECRAFT DREAM BACK IN 2024 LETS GOOOOOOOO)
the thing that saddened me the most about this was the doxxing and swatting stuff. like that is a very horrible thing to have to go thru. that shit is not a joke i imagine, living in a country that is notorious for an overpowered police force. and i hope to fucking god that what dream predicted (that this shit is going to get out of the mcyt space and into other yt communities over time) will not turn out to be true. the story about sapnap moving in with him so that he can answer the door to the fucking police while hes live just..its depressing man. and god i hadnt ever even heard of the time he got swatted while george was live that was a fucking jumpscare he must have been so worried
but. also. i think its time for, well me atleast, to self reflect a bit? ig? for context im talking about the end of the video where he restated his boundaries. im not someone who likes to stay in the problematic parts of the internet. i run from drama like its the wildfire from asoiaf. ( i also have caved in and posted abt neg stuff im not denying anything but i try to limit to private posts) and to think that i in any way could be on the wrong side of this all by shipping dnf? it gives me a bit of self doubt, ngl. i dont know if what i do would be classified as "srs shipping" or i would be put into "/srs dnf truther" by others, but i def thought and kinda still think 'oh dnf real' and now i just dont know where i stand..? i definitely need to think on it a bit. also i think i have interacted with nsfw art on this blog before, and goddamit i cant even check coz stupid me didnt even bother to tag properly, but from now on all nsfw art (not that i expect there to be many more) will be properly tagged. and if its not just tell me (idk who even is reading this anymore but whatever). as to dnf posting? idk. ill have to wait and see the general mood on here
and also like, that bit def has left a sour taste in my mouth AND IM NOT SAYING THATS DREAMS FAULT but its just...its tough man. dream having to change his mindset on fan spaces because of all this just saddens me a lot. and him saying that has then changed MY mindset on fandom, especially rpf, as someone whose both primary fandoms are rpf. i hope maybe in the future dream is able to engage on a more positive level and not have to just cut himself off from it entirely (im not sad abt him leaving twitter like, good riddance bitches, but i think i'll just miss a random tweet from him to wake up to)
#i was just thinking of this the entire time i got up after watching the video when i was (trying to) fix my stupid throat and its cough#ie general human things that have to be performed to stay human like eat breakfast (i only had an apple why am i so lazy) so i can take med#((i will have proper lunch i swear to god))#and i just had to write it all out to make any sense of it all#like idc if no one reads this really its long and even more ramblier than usual#anyway idk just thoughts#(do not anyone send me anon hate tho pls im not in a mood to negatively debate abt this with anyone)#((you can ask me any questions nicely tho :) ))#now lets see what some of my beloved (affectionate) people have said on here
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Kleo you're the only blog i found who celebrates getting older & becoming mature. You always mentioned your age without any shame. No cutting back a few years to seem "younger". Society really demonized getting older when in reality, it's so much better than being a teenager.
I'm not naive anymore. I can control my emotion. I'm calmer. I earn money. I don't involve myself in useless fight like fandom fights 💀
These are are not even half the benefit of getting older. As for health, your 30s is not 70s lol. We're fine.
-LS
Hello!
😂
Honestly, I still feel like a child even in my 30s. I know I haven't figured everything out, I still struggle to properly adult but yes, just like you say, 30s are great!
I mean, in your 30s you don't really go to school or university so you basically only learn what you are genuinely interested in or when it's for your career and you get paid for improving your qualification instead of getting meaningless marks. In your 30s, you know you don't need to impress anyone because same as you, they don't care whether your handbag is Prada or reusable cotton shoulder bag you bought in Tesco 5 years ago to carry your groceries home. Unless you actually have some conditions, your hormones and periods are pretty much settled down and you can predict your mood swings based on your cycle and give warnings to those of concern. In your 30s, you usually know what you want and don't want in life - I know I don't want husband and children and I knew it in my 20s but only after reaching magical 30 people started to take me seriously. And that's another thing - people actually listen to you and respect your values and opinions in your 30s. Finally you have the authority to actually completely decide about your life. Yes, people might critisise your decisions but the great thing is that you don't have to care about their opinion because you're pretty much well established on your own and if they keep bitching about something you can easily tell bye bye to them.
Yes, I have back pains, I need regular sleep schedule, I can't spend a day eating fastfood or my internal organs will let me know very clearly I made a mistake while in my teens I could live on chips and fizzy drinks for a week and still feel at the top of my game. But honestly, these are actually good things. Back pains motivate me to stretch and exercise. Regular sleeping shedule is healthy and really, really great. If you never had a regular sleeping schedule, you have no idea what utter bliss you are missing. And the fact I need to eat nutritious and balanced meals in order to feel good is also pretty ace.
I love being on my 30s. And quite frankly I'm looking forward to my 40s. If I'm smart now, I might be able to actually achieve some of big dreams that seem unreachable now but might be much accessible when in my 40s. I actually like growing old.
And to all those who think they know how world spins in their teen years - YOU HAVE NO IDEA! Don't you dare shaming people older than you. We have been through shit you can't even imagine. I didn't have internet when I was your age. We had to go to libraries and read or at least browse through actuall thick books for hours to find a little piece of information you can Google in 2 seconds. I miss spending hours in library now... I should spoil myself with a library day sometimes... 😏 Because I have a nice job and so many days of paid vacation that I can just randomly decide to spend a day in a library! And that's what you get in your 30s... Plus a nice salary to spoil yourself even more. 😂
So yeah! Thank you for celebrating 30s with me, dear! 💜💜💜💜
'We rock!' we whisper to our mirror reflection before moisturizing and going sleep at 9 pm. 🤣
Kleo 🦄
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osamu likes to think that unlike atsumu, he has some semblance of control over his impulses. it’s a fine art. when you softly touch his waist as you squeeze past, or dig your feet under his thigh on the couch, or lean into his side as you share the small bathroom, he can will his body still and maintain the equilibrium you’ve crafted together.
but this morning he is frayed at the seams. shadows under his eyes, sleep crusted in the corners. osamu stares back at his reflection as he combs wet fingers through his unruly hair, attempting to give it direction and fluff up the impression left by his pillow. thinking is a luxury; its on days like this that he falls back onto muscle memory, navigating his routine in a fatigue induced haze.
his gait is heavy, unsteady on his feet as he pulls his work shirt over his head, ruining the progress he had already made with his appearance. osamu can hardly find it within himself to care—because as he follows the satisfying, dull knock of a knife to the kitchen, he sees you.
the shift is immediate. pale morning sunlight pools in through the open windows and halos your silhouette. what was a stifling weight on his shoulders moments ago lightens with the warmth that spreads through his chest.
your attention is drawn away from the cutting board to where he stands in the doorway, a lazy smile curling at your lips. “morning,” you murmur, setting down the knife and wiping your hands on the nearby towel. “guessing you missed your other alarms?”
osamu opens his mouth with every intention of complaining. yet words fail him as his eyes drag over your figure—clad only in his old shirt, stretched and tattered, and a mismatched pair of socks. your thighs look soft, he thinks, and then that thought plays in an incessant loop, conjuring endless images of his face nestled between them.
“yeah—ah, shit. ‘a should probably get going,” he replies, voice thick even to his own ears. something indiscernible passes over you expression. whatever it was, you’re studying him with a look that he could only call fond, and it chases him out to the genkan.
the issue is that when his mind hasn’t yet separated the veil between sleep and reality it will steer him too close to the sun. because sometimes, when osamu is tired and the world is a buttery haze he can imagine there is more to all of this—that a future beyond being just roommates waits on the fringes, entirely within his reach.
you are standing behind him as he bends to tie his shoes, speaking to him in that gentle tone that never fails to work out the ache in his bones. “sorry, ‘samu. I really did try to wake you but you sleep like a rock. I shoulda tried more,” you ramble, taking a backward step as he gets to his feet.
he notices you’re holding a bento to your front. it’s wrapped clumsily in a blue onigiri patterned cloth. “take this,” you thrust it into his hands and flash a sheepish grin. “I know it won’t be as good as your cooking but I still wanted to do something for you”.
osamu blinks slowly. he turns the box between his hands and feels the heat seeping through. it smells good, like tamagoyaki and grilled fish. your eyes dip low, and you wring your fingers to avoid his gaze.
a calm settles over him. the longing that exists inside of himself rears to pick at the promise of more, more, more. osamu leans forward and presses a soft kiss to your lips, now parted slightly in shock—somehow it doesn’t feel quite as dramatic as he thinks it should. it feels normal, like maybe he was simply revisiting a dream. “thanks. I’ll make sure to savour it,” he says before kissing you again, short and chaste, lost in the moment yet conscious of his tardiness. “see ya after work”.
and then he’s ducking into the mild morning air, the bento cradled to his chest. osamu climbs into his car with a loud yawn, sets his work bag on the passenger seat and sticks the key in the ignition. the radio starts abruptly as the engine rumbles to life and he pauses, staring out the windshield at the quiet street. then it clicks into place and realisation washes over him like cold water.
“…shit,” he breathes, dropping his forehead on the steering wheel. the horn blares in one long, dragging note, playing a requiem for the utter mortification he felt. “what the fuck”
roommates to lovers with osamu but instead of some big confession he randomly kisses you goodbye at the door as he’s leaving for work one day like it’s the most natural thing in the world. you don’t register it happened until he’s already gone and he spends half an hour sitting in his car head on the steering wheel having a crisis
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08.12.2022
tags: sex dreams, dreams in general
Bird is あ / Avvy is つ
つ:i think the concept of tsukasa being like "there we go. very good" while you come is like a nightmare hanako would have. its been funnny to think about bc it isn't their dynamic. its liek you have an extremely fucked up dream that is inscrutable
あ:lol yeah just something to make you feel really fucked up like -- NO..
つ:hai, hai……
あ:its so funny though bc like again one has incest dreams even when youre a normal person the thought of alive boys ever having them its mutually so funny
つ:yes, they're completely normal. its something i think about. its free childhood incest thoughts no rules no limits
あ:in my mind tsukasa isn't able to parse his as incest he's just like. what a silly little dream i had about amane and the contents arent actually incriminating enough it really is like we're helping each other pee
つ:he's just like ah that was interesting
あ:omoshiroi. that would never happen though.
つ:as much as you have a dream you both eat big caterpillars together off of leafs wooow intresting. i liked that that dream had amane in it
あ:as unfettered about them as one could be amane hasnt been in my dreams for a few days. im glad he is back
つ:amane wakes up more like… woeuhg.. [going to try to willfully forget this. distract with tasks] ugh… weird dream… shakes it off
あ:in a haze sometimes. like wipes drool off of mouth. eugh…. well whatever…. as weird as having dreams where i'm like stuck in this scary old man's sexual carnival like just garbage brain making up shit [represses]
its like overall i think amane just ahs more sex dreams. and sometimes they're nonsense by virtue of having more. just fodder.
つ:i think when you get into the harming phase of their relationship…. it's…. hmm. going to get sicker but I also love the idea of nutting in sleep but the dream wasn't coherently sexual at all
あ:mnnn yeah i think then its a lot more.. visceral, relevant, and stomach twisting
つ:when you have major anxieties repeating all the time it does start to reflect… ah no sad tothink about amane having a lot of dreams tsukasa goes missing again, NOOO
あ:I think emotional stress IRL makes things manifest more coherently in dreams… well, its like it simulates your sense of helplessness etc
having dreams where tsukasa just is very listless and if you let go of his hand for a few minutes he's trying to leave, crawl out windows, like a pet stress dream
つ:probably a lot its his fault, too..... get distracted as one does in dreams.... forget about tsukasa while you're like. tabbing through dolls in an extravagant shop. only remember him existing later like MY-- TSUKASA!!!! NO!!! TSUKASA!!!! RUNNING AROUND THROUGH EVERY BUILDING
あ:dreaming about being in crowds and tsukasa just walks in the opposite direction and he's just gone you blink and you're just like ??? wait. oh NO
つ:dreams of hearing tsukasa just behind a door and opening it and he's not there… desperately opening hundreds of dors…
あ:and calling his name and sometimes you hear "amane" but also like "its fine… im fine…. you dont have to come…" and its just like😭 TSUKASA!!!
つ:the nature of how blissful you were before he disappeared means you can never have just…. security. i imagine dreams would be very cruel and be very WOO HOO BOUNCE HOUSE and then tsukasa gone
when bird can't stop himself from like . forgetting about me or neglecting me in a dream like you just have an extreme memory problem
あ:Noo yeah like i just have this disability almost, I'm just pathologically unable to be more attentive or considerate. Like i fall out of time. Amane just getting so engrossed in tuning his telescope
つ:youre like discovering a new astrological phenomena or some crap or for age 5 youre like seeing. real bunnies on the moon. making a stupid discovery
あ:Lately i keep having dreams where im being so supremely picky about video games like … obsessing about old consoles and getting the right versions of games. but it makes me meaner and shittier somehow like a version of myself thats an eviler nerd. thinking about Amane more or less becoming some goblinized version of self, liek you're staring into your telescope and you FEEL tsukasa's hand tugging you urgently but you slap him dismissively and keep adjusting and when you look up tsukasa's just liek gone His stuff is all scattered on the floor in a mess like he dropped a bunch of stuff and staggered away
つ:you wake up and you. must. let tsukasa do whatever he wants today lead the way… tsukasa PLEAAASE
あ:anything at all roachie So sad, you can really imagine there being bed time distress both at like 4-5 freshly dealing with tsukasa going missing/returning, and then 12-13 as life gets bad
I just think early days there was soo much anxiety to be had also about tsukasa leaving again…. ah, i like to think about them really being prone to waking up in the middle of the night from bad dreams and face snuzz and cuddle… just need the comfort
つ:it had to have been .... the circumstance which really rots them from the inside out..... the act of losing contact, once.....
あ:Its reasonable to, come a little, in your sleep, once in a while. after everything you've been through.
つ:it is completely normal and reasonable.
あ:Sitting here trying to think about what the average random incest dream for Amane is before things get psycho specifically and it's so funny I think he's just like ruined himself from porn. I think it's like I'm jerking off in dream and then Tsukasa is like WHOA let me help. WOW your cock is awesome.... Amane... Impressive, its bigger than mine. wow. WHAO!!1 your come... so cool
つ:ITS GOTT ABE THE WORST WHEN HE'S LIKE TOO DUMB TO HAVE NUANCE OR ACUTE SHAME BUT IS HORNY AND LOOKING AT PORN
あ:like the gormlessness of an amane at some point being like ahah.F GH.F. sh/.. SEX!!!
つ:tsukasa is just there bc he always is and you know him and he is always supportive and down and thinks you are really cool
あ:Yes sjkfdjgh like i think its almost comically like oh let me help you with that. Your hand looks tired brother Just sit back I think some dreams are like. tsukasa wasnt part of the plot but suddenly in the middle of it you know tsukasa
つ:whoa it went really far!!! itslike a normal dream youre like hiding in a closet jerking off but then tsukasa is just there to comment on your cool hog
あ:it's a gormless sex dream like you're going to fuck a big life sized sex doll or something and tsukasa is suddenly here to pull down your pants for you
the random detail in someone's sex nightmare where the machine had to jerk them off to make them erect before cutting it its like wait you need to get hard first.
つ:fkld;sjfsk its sf funny how dreams are procedural and not tasteful HERE I'LL HELP puts dinosar hand puppet on your cock and goes homf homf homf
あ:exactly
つ:butits a dream so youre like fuck it feels so fucking good jesus ive never felt anything this good in my whole life
あ:yes. its also like haphazard and completely abandons plots and changes details for no reason so suddenly its like ahhh i fuck the dinosaur puppets mouth and like THIS is the fetish i was chasing
I actually think itd be funny if Amane's inability to like respect people as individuals means he cannot have sex dreams with strangers so its always some stupid fetish nonsense your mind cannot generate the fantasy of interfacing with people. so instead you really are sooner some panty stealing pervert or like at best peeping into love hotels or something
it's like ahh in this dream im really hornyabout marbles what number is the sexiest
つ:it feels just so feasible you like hear about dinosaurs laying eggs and youre like whoa i forgot dinosaurs would have sex like normal animals [THINKING OF THEM LIKE UNICORNS OR DRAGONS MAGICALLY] . have a dream you guys are playing dinosaurs and tsukasa is like. auhho i wanna have eggs [you are 4 with no understanding of biology] get eggs in me
あ:Please amane screaaaaaa and its like oh god oh christ… gets into the positions
its all crude and like meaningless dream nonsense but the point is its like whoa feels pretty good
つ:dreams can put you through any bullshit and irl youre like coming about it
あ:itd actually be funny to be like older but having a dream about being 4 in the yard again and doing this but older like 8
つ:to have more knowledge. take it again. I know what it means to put egg in you now
あ:the dream wires get mixed up and you start also RPing attacking tsuaksa during it still like bites [tsukasa shrieking]
つ:fighting you….. wrasslin in your grasp
あ:its a dream you really bit through his shirt and there is blood
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