#i miss being excited about things
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Experiencing some kind of malaise
#yearning for simpler times of circa 2016#even thiugh i know my memories are idealized and i was wallowing in dysphoria and post graduation depression hell#i miss being excited about things#but! im going out to try and give myself enrichment! i had my hours of bed rotting and i said ENOUGH
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anyone else get cuteness aggression whenever they see james mcavoys charles….. like i have to pace around the room everytime i see him (your art is not helping. /pos)
i can think of one (1) mate who also gets cuteness aggression
#xmen#xmen movies#charles xavier#cherik#professor x#erik lehnsherr#magneto#snap sketches#i am moderately tipsy so idk if this looks right. he looks right to me right now i think yeah he looks good ill post it#ANYWAY tahnk you:) i hope my art contributes to Not Being Normal about charles in any capacity#ask earlier about erik's face getting oevrshadowed reminded me i can draw one of my fave things for film erik too#drawing this did make me wanna rewatch first class tho ... 'snap how many times have you rewatched first class'#its a new month ok im allowed to rewatch it five times if i want to#i never draw fc charles .. i miss him sometimes mcavoy in general's fun to doodle#when speak no evil came out i was too stupid excited to doodle paddy after watchin the movie but this aint about him. we're MOVING ON#im gonna go start doodlin somethin goofy bye bye ill be back Whenever
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happy halloween, everyone! big news: The Phantom Guardian's hiatus is officially over!
exactly one year after the release of the last tpg chapter, sukuna's backstory: tears of the emperor, i'm thrilled to announce that my break from the story has come to a close. i'm now officially preparing to write the next chapter and return to tpg releases on a regular basis! i've dearly missed this story and this community, and i'm so excited to be back.
to prepare for writing this story again, i'll be doing a tpg live-react reread in the tpg discord server! come laugh at me as you watch me suffer through the suffering i put all of you through. we can chat about the story, the characters, and reminisce about what a crazy ride it's been and where we could be going from here. come join the fun!! this will also be a great way to remind yourselves of everything that's happened without having to read through all 637,000 words of this monstrosity. join the discord here!
as for when the next chapter will officially come out: i gotta get through the tpg reread first, which might take a bit, but i hope to have ch49 out sometime before the end of the year, if not very early january. i'll be hosting even more fun events and activities to bring us all back together as the next release grows nearer! i don't use bluesky or twitter, but feel free to share this news wherever. i'd love as many people as possible to join the fun!!
i love you all so much, and i can't thank you enough for your patience with me this past year. i hope you're as excited to dive back into this fic as i am!
happy halloween, everyone. we're so fucking back.
#i know i made an announcement post about the seraphim ace fic not too long ago#but that fic is now the one being pushed back instead of tpg! for various reasons#god i'm so fucking excited to get back into this. i have missed tpg so so much#i have missed all of YOU so so much#so many cool things in store both in the story and in the community#come join the fun!!#and last but certainly not least:#tpg
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Things I make for myself when insomnia kicks in
Just a chart about what I wanna change up and keep consistent in my art - I mainly wanna draw Raph with a tail because he deserves one, it fits too well. Donnie gets a long tail too because I didn’t realize how dino-like he looks until I gave him one, and now it’s a must for me haha.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt headcanons#note these are veryyy much for my own art so by all means ignore this completely for your own unless it resonates#these are just my personal headcanons#I’ve been getting more and more fond of the turtles having tails - especially Raph whose design honestly feels more complete with one#I also am now attached to Donnie having a long tail too because 1) he looks cute with one and it really works for him and-#2) I LOVE giving the Brains and Brawn duo more stuff in common#I could write an essay about how many things Brains and Brawns duo has in common in general#but also portal duo as well!!#we already know that Mikey and Leo look a LOT alike#so I think it’s cute when Raph and Donnie have stuff like that in common with each other too#like how canonically Donnie’s sclera are on the yellow side like Raph’s#anyway I’m sorry if this is a random post I am very tired and still have not slept#ALSO yeah i wanted an excuse to doodle April it’s been too long i missed her#I’m excited to finish this comic up to show the OTHER reason I gave Donnie a long tail#I made this in like five minutes because working on my comic was not working out#also Draxum totally has a tail he’s a sheep#I lean away from Mikey and Leo having longer tails mainly because their designs are already so busy#with all the colors and shapes present on them#so to me longer tails kinda takes away a bit#meanwhile Raph and Donnie are more monochrome in comparison so I feel like tails only help them?#I think as well Donnie’s torso/carapace being on the shorter side makes a tail balance him out#(me trying to justify the visual gag im putting into the comic for literally only two panels)#didn’t draw the caseys because I am tiredddd#and they would have just ended up where April is anyway
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ep 43 had me tearing up in a fucking shopping centre ‼️‼️
b+w alt version that I truly couldn't decide if I liked it more . Also I included a lot of thoughts in the tags but they're somewhat incoherent<3
#i dont know what i expected but i was waiting for a friend and too excited to wait until later#malevolent podcast#john doe#john doe malevolent#john malevolent#malevolent fanart#grimm art#ep 43#ep 43 left me with a lot of thoughts ... i didnt quite like how much of a recap it felt like at times but that might#be because ive been relistening and like yeah everyone knows that john 🙄 but that's not the case for everyone and with monthly uploads#things get forgotten easily#i find the discussion of “humanity” so interesting because John has shown that without someone that he has forcibly grown to value as an#equal... something he cannot do as the king of yellow as he is superior to all of his realm and presumably stays out of other elder god's#anyway. without that equality and enviroment to grow he fails to reach his goal of compassion and falls onto old ways.#John. The King in Yellow. shown by both times each has found themselves in human form do not just crave power and influence!!!#THEY CRAVE COMMUNITY!!! an endrich being not born or raised with nothing but power and ego#CRAVES COMMUNITY.#His goal of “humanity” is not a selfless goal like John projects - it is ultimately somewhat selfish as he does not want to be alone!!#which makes this desire so much more human#i don't know maybe this is just me spelling out whats already there but the way john and the witch argued about humanity frustrated me#it felt like they were missing the point or that perhaps the “good/evil” “black/white” retoric was already realised by me and john needed#realise it himself . which is fair !!!#i dont know!!!!#the witch was talking about how bad everyone was and how humanity is cruel and john was talking about Lily (#who also frustrates me how shes used in the plot somewhat she was literally just a nurse doing her job bro#) but to John - yes internally he is struggling with his moral greyness and im so proud of him for growing being himself SO PROUD#JUST.!!! he wants community. he needs community. he loves his friend. 'humanity' at its core does not matter as long as you try to be bette#and i think thats awesome and i really enjoyed the episode#guhh im rambling enjoy my tag rambling i dont know i want john to have more friends :(#yorrick can be another friend godd i love you yorrick so silly
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Complete word vomit but like what if viktor decides that whatever the 'arcane' is too dangerous or comes at too high a cost and starts The Glorious Evolution from there?
Maybe he feels responsible for whatever the weird magic orb thingys are and decides that all of this mess (not just with the hex core but also with zaun and piltover) was due to human error so now he thinks he has to help people by getting rid of their 'flaws' like they're ability to make the kinds of mistakes he made in s1.
We know he already doesn't want the hex core to be around anymore so why would he suddenly become infatuated with it?? Like sure maybe it has an influence over him, but I seriously doubt it would last all season
Plus viktors whole Thing is helping people why would he stick with the hex core and all it's bs if it means either vaporising people or shimmer? Viktor is smart that's like the first thing we know about him I feel like he'd find a way out of the hex core's thrall
Idk I just don't really want to watch hex core bs for like a quarter of next season, I'll still probably like it tho
#plus if they're rewriting the league lore then why tf would viktor just be a synthetic mage#like that is so BORING#i miss my wife tails#viktor#viktor arcane#arcane viktor#words#word vomit#arcane speculation#arcane thoughts#arcane theory#glorious evolution#arcane#im sorry if this doesnt make sense#im very tired#and excited#i need season 2#NOW#jk jk jk#obviously#jayce talis#arcane jayce#i need a scene where it calls back to that thing jayce said about him and viktor being brothers but like in a vander and silco kinda way#or maybe something like that part with the 'its viktor' kinda thing#idkk#i hope they get more screen time#like i love ekko but i do not give a shit about the rat with him#himerdinger should get kicked in the head like a football#ideally by viktor
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Weeeeeeeell, Timmy is kind of 10? There was that whole thing about his wish to stay a kid forever and then it was revealed that he kept everyone in town the same age for like 30 years so he's only kind of 10?
I dunno tho I've only seen videos talking about this
Yes BUT ☝️
The only reason he made that wish is because he is 10.
He likely wasn’t able to mature in that time, permanently 10 and just knowing he made the wish out of fear of losing Cosmo and Wanda (and Poof? I don’t remember when in the series this happens) the only positive adult present in his life forever, not even allowed to remember them. His life before Cosmo and Wanda was living in a neglectful home with an abusive babysitter which went unnoticed because the ones who should have been there to notice, his school teachers, were also abusive— and the only people who would’ve been able to realize the abusive staff, his parents, were neglecting him, it’s a cycle.
Even if, being aware of the wish, Timmy knew it had been 50 years of being 10, 50 years of experiencing life, his body and brain were still stuck at 10 years old, physically incapable of realizing the detriment of “I’ve trapped everyone in a time loop” beyond his personal detriment of “my godparents, my only family, are going to leave me and this is the only way to keep them.”
Timmy Turner was JUST 10 YEARS OLD!!!
#thank you for the ask lmao I’ve been loving FOP this week#and I really do care about Timmy beyond - again- him being a piece of shit because he’s ten AND because he’s a 2000’s Nick protag#I want good things for him- the reason I look forward to seeing how he’s doing in a new wish#and unrelated#as much as I want to see Timmy it really needs to be done carefully- maybe only once- and not focused on#the show is hazel’s and I LIKE hazel’s show I want to watch hazel’s show#I just also want to know what’s up with Timmy#THEN get back to watching Hazel’s show#and I’m excited to see what she thinks- she thinks so much differently than Timmy did- she already gets how much cosmo and Wanda miss him#imagine her being there when they see him!#I mean… don’t make that child have to act more like an adult than she already does BUT.#fairly oddparents
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I just want my passion back man idk why that's so much to ask for
#pom ponders#personal#my favorite part of the day used to be any extra time i had to write#i desperately miss the days where i woke up early all on my own excited because it meant extra time to write#now even just thinking about writing can make me so tired and drained#i can't write anymore and I'm so upset about it#I've spent the last four months sobbing because it's basically ruined for me#i was so happy...i want it back#i still have stories to tell and i love them so much#but trying to get them out has turned into a chore and i feel like I've lost a part of myself#some days i feel so sick over it that i can barely eat#I've lost so much sleep over this#it's not fair...i didn't do anything wrong...#I'm still being punished for doing what was ultimately the right thing and i don't understand#i want to want to write again#delete later
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100 word drabble exercise.
Prompt: taken
He was giggling again. Quietly, under his breath. Marinette pretended not to notice, but she couldn’t stop her own smile.
Across the table, Nino sighed, a pointed look over his glasses. “Adrien, what,” he said flatly, already knowing the answer.
Alya simply rolled her eyes.
Adrien beamed, raising his and Marinette’s already joined hands over the table. The smile made his words lilt at the ends. “She said yes,” he replied, emphasizing their matching charm bracelets with a shake and a lovelorn sigh. “We’re dating.”
Nino’s face held all the exhaustion of an older brother. “So you said. Thirty times.”
Send me one word, I'll write you 100
#hundred word drabbles#adrinette#miraculous#my writing#i've had this prompt in my drafts forever and i remember being really excited about it but then i forgor#originally it was gonna be like adrien going 'teehee she's taken' but that makes marinette like property sorta and adrien wouldn't do that.#the only rule here is that it has to be 100 words so the prompt is vibes only ok.#anyway i'm adding the link here soooo if you want to send me a prompt...😳#i can't guarantee i'll do it right away but i need to light a fire under my ass so to speak#having something to procrastinate always works#but not right away because i miss my space chicken bf and i have to go listen to his voice lines until i cry#if u read all this reblog with a 3 in your tags if u support me#omg i forgot the miraculous tag of all things
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i think im actually going to cry this may be the best day of my life and i just i need to sob about it dont mind me
both my trips have officially been finalized and i dont quite know?????? how to handle that??????? i leave for london in literally less than 10 days and that trip lasts a MONTH a whole ass fucking MONTH!!!!!! ill be in london for a MONTH!!!!! with my best fucking friend who has been nothing short of fucking amazing hooking me up with a place to stay and a sim card and offering to take me out on my birthday. i havent had a good birthday in literally 6 years and he wants to do something nice for me and even took time off work for some of the days im there so we can have day trips outside the city.
and then a week after i get back in mid september, my grandparents have finally booked our flights for brasil and i actually get to go back. ive never seen brasil with my grandparents, and i know this will be the last trip i ever get to take with them. theyre old, theyre frail, but they want to do this and they want to show me the places they grew up, and take me to the country i havent seen in so fucking long. and they booked it!!!!!!!! for a month and a half!!!!!!!
A MONTH AND A HALF OF BEING IN BRASIL ARE YOU FUCKING JOE KING???????????????????????? its all ive ever wanted. ive worked so fucking hard to be able to get out there and do stuff like this, and after my life falling down around me in 2023 to slowly piecing myself back together in 2024, to have this is something i never imagined.
and then grad schools applications start opening up in september to the schools i plan on visiting in england, and there is a chance that by the end of the year, ill know if i am getting into a master's program. in fucking england.
none of this seems real. none of it seems real, but its all happening, and its all happening right the fuck now, and i want to cry and cheer and tell myself from a year ago that shit will be okay and that there are things worth looking forward to.
and i just!!!!!!
#ignore my very long personal ramble a lot of things are happening in my life and for once everything is good and i just.#dont have the words for how excited i am about. everything!! happening to me!!!!!#im excited im so excited!!!!!! i missed being excited about things!!!!!!!!#personal
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When you backread through a fun conversation you had with someone for hours an angel gets its wings
#I was talking to my brother about Norman doors and I had fun in my UX class and he was telling me about demon cores and the trolley problem#in his class. AND I remembered to take my meds today so I can feel every cell in my body. i can feel the neurons rubbing together#and yesterday I infodumped about the specialists bullseye chart to crow and how it ties with witch hat atelier#WHICH I MANAGED TOGET THEM TK READ IM SO HAPPY. I MAKE SQUEALING GUINEA PIG NOISES EVERY TIME THEY TELL ME WHAT THEYVE READ SO FAR. AHH#i might not even be scratching the surface with witch hat there are so many themes i could not possibly fathom or go over my heasd#and thats what makes it so exciting there are so many spaces in between that you can fill with your thoughts and i. i#waves my hands around manically#for anyone interested in my insane ramblings. the bullseye chart is from are we all scientific experts now by harry collins#in my own words its basically saying everything we know about anything is a game of broken telephone#and it discusses how information gets lost in translation between experts and laymen including things that arent in control#one of the main points was how things that happen between experts are complicated including debates and findings#that you can only really understand thru research and experience in that field and cant be smoothly shared without it being reworded#and risking some of those key points. or even concepts that are hard to understand that cant be shared at all#like if you tried to tell me about how DNA works using words scientists are familiar with but i am NOT- i risk missing concepts that i need#to understand to know how it works on the level you understand. or i risk having it reworded and understanding it but not on that level#AND IT DOES TIE TO WITCH HAT THE WITCH AND NORMAL FOLK COMMUNITIES I PROMISE. ITS SO INTERESTING#anyway i spent hours reading back thru that conversation and i might as well admit it goes for almost every fun conversation i have#and it might be the 20mg of adderall in my body but i am in such a state of peace and love i have to verbalize it. ahh#yapping
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the post grad why did i get an art degree what am i even doing what do i want in life where am i going crisis has finally hit i want to. lie down in the dirt. or something
#WHAT AM I DOING!!!!#i get up i go to my stupid retail job i stick labels on bags they pay me fucking thirteen bucks an hour i come home i lie on the couch#too tired to draw in too much pain to go anywhere no energy to reach out to college friends to do anything fun#no idea where the even start with getting an industry job no clue what i even WANT at this point#trying to remember what i loved so much about comics i want it BACK i HATE this#WHAT IS THE POINT!!!! WHAT DO I WANT WHERE AM I GOING!!! WHAT COMES NEXT!!!!!!#there's no clear career trajectory i can't do freelance i need structure i can't work too much i need free time#my brain doesn't work every job requires me to move across the country the irs just took fucking three hundred stupid dollars from me#my friends live in different states i can't get a job without experience i can't get experience without a job#i can't work on my portfolio with no energy and no time and i dont have any money and everything is so expensive all the time#i can't get anywhere bc i dont drive and im too stressed to think about taking driving lessons again#and WHAT DO I WANT!#THE MOST INTERESTING THING I DO EVERY WEEK IS GO TO PHYSICAL THERAPY!#I AM EXCITED EVERY WEEK FOR PHYSICAL THERAPY!!!! WHY!!!!!!!!#anyway WHATEVER i need to go to bed#delete later#i got into spx. today. so. had to have a crisis about how i felt when i attended spx (energized. excited. a part of something. ambitious)#versus how i feel now (tired. unmotivated. kind of apathetic about art. disconnected)#i dont miss the stress of school but i miss being around other artists. ppl who speak your language and who want the same things you want#ppl who are excited abut art and that makes YOU excited about art. ppl who get you#i miss that i want that back#whatever. its 1am i gotta go shower i have an 8.5 hour shift tomorrow. wahoo. $13.50/hr lets go
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me listening to my mom say “team sam” for all of season four knowing damn well that dean is in fact right about everything for literally the entire time and knowing she’s about to get her shit completely rocked in the last 15 minutes of lucifer rising 😙
#SHES GONNA LOSE HER MIND IM SO EXCITED ITS SO GOOD#like i think she also doesn’t understand how bad the demon blood thing is. like she missed the Sam Is Changing Bad thing#*important to note that her favorite guy is bobby and neither brother comes even close to him#(also embarrassing to sit here and be named dean during the scene where bobby says he’s being a coward like his dad and that it’s not him#he’s better than his dad. like. hm. the good thing about her not watching supernatural was the ‘dean is a silly name after a character’#thing. not uhm. well. all of this i suppose 👍)
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thinking abt the ggy easter eggs rn
#im so ready for whateber theyre cooking#this is like the only era rn where the sw games arent interesting me rn im so ready to want to engage again#plz focus on ggy vanny gregory vanessa cassie and not cassie dad mapbot dying absent father doing nothintnfor the story#and a game based totally off of books instead of the other way around#i really hope SW games dont become super tftp oriented#as in they make games based off of books instead of the other way around#that would suck majorly#a ggy game would be new content based off of game lore that does exist for ggy and not the book#like patient 46 and his canonical mysterious past#plus everything the tapes said he did#it could be so good#i really want to just see like. any progression of the story#outside of very basic ideas like 'vanny cassie' that are probably going to happen but are so bare bones#theres not much you can think about#insyead of useless plots like cassies dad. sorry but its true if hes the hw2 story he does nothing#nothing that cassie couldnt have also done if shes the protag#i know that sotm has to happen before they can progress so im being patient#but man#i hope we get more stuff like ruin that has good linear on screen storytelling and is more character oriented#everybody liked ruin but not everyone likes sotm#when hw2 came out i saw soo many opinions not just by me and the moots or something but just#fans on twitter diehard or casual#that hated how hw2s story was handled#people actually want storytelling now at sb and ruins scale instead of old school barely comprehensible frustrating lore#thats what sotm feels like its leaning into and im not excited#i hope its a one time thing since its a good chance to do that#a game that already takes place in the og fnaf days#before it even#of course its a good idea to put old school easter eggs and characters and story and stuff of the og days#i just miss my guys :(
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I FEEL LIKE I'M IN THE 8TH GRADE AGAIN THIS IS INSANE!!! I'M ABOUT TO GRADUATE HIGH SCHOOL AND THE DSMP IS BACK WHAT THE HELL!!!!
oooohggh I missed this <3
#dream smp#dsmp#al talks about things#not 8th grade just the dsmp#8th grade sucked I do not miss it LMAO#I missed being excited about new lore and the fandom being active
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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