#thing. not uhm. well. all of this i suppose 👍)

[howldean]

me listening to my mom say “team sam” for all of season four knowing damn well that dean is in fact right about everything for literally the entire time and knowing she’s about to get her shit completely rocked in the last 15 minutes of lucifer rising 😙

[remember-ur-alive]

kinda would be really funny if I constantly worried about driving my fp away and then the thing that did it in was the nervous typing quirks

[moochalove]

Should've Ordered For Pickup…

This is an Au from my OTHER fic(s) with Pregnant/Mother! Reader!! If you want you can read this as part of it though! (I did keep the same idea just without the dark themes)….

I think my brain has been itched so I will be moving on from this whole idea that's been rotting my brain… 👍 So if you have any fic ideas feel free to share! Anyways!!!

It feels like you’ve been standing in line forever, your feet are killing you and your back hurts from the baby that is currently resting on your chest. You should’ve ordered your stuff for pickup… but it’s not like it was a lot of things either…this is taking forever, and you’re starting to get hungry! You salivate at the thought of what your husband has cooked for dinner, it almost eases you a little. Taking a deep breath you readjust your posture and clutch the small bag of fruits and vegetables you were looking to buy. “Almost done, sweetheart, then we can go home to Daddy! Doesn’t that sound nice?” you whispered in a hushed voice since your son seemed to have dozed off.

You’re startled by a voice that comes from behind, “Y/n? Is that you?” Of course, you’d recognize that cute voice anywhere, “Ayaka?” Taking a deep breath you turn around to greet her more properly. Yeah, you’re tired and you’d rather not talk to anyone right now, but she’s just trying to be nice. “How have you been Y/n? I haven’t seen you in forever. Not since…” Immediately noticing how she trailed her words you figured she’s heard about what happened between you and Kazuha. “Haha, yeah, it’s been a while. So… what brings you here?” She holds up a small plastic bag that’s full of cleaning supplies, “I wanted to help our back at the house but instead they sent me to go get things. I suppose this is a form of helping.” You lifted your bag of groceries in response, “Me too, I tell him I can cook my own food but he swears I do too much and that I must be tired. Oh well, I’m pretty tired when I get home anyways so I suppose it’s fine!” Ayaka turned her head in confusion as she looked at you up and down before her eyes settled on your resting baby, “So you’re dating someone?”You’re taken aback for a moment before you smile in response, “I’m actually married,” you flaunt the big rock on your ring finger towards her, and her eyes widen in shock from the jewel that casually sits on your finger, “I-it’s beautiful, Y/n!” She bows apologetically, “I’m sorry- I spoke out of line. Forgive me!” A laugh escapes your lips as you motion for her to rise, “It’s okay. You didn’t overstep any boundaries.” Her chest rises and falls in relief upon hearing those words. “Uhm, so… if you don’t mind me asking…” “Yes?” “Whose baby is that you’re holding?” Your frown curls into a smile as you turn to an angle to where she can see the baby’s face, “My sisters. I just thought I’d bring him along with me today.” Ayaka’s eyes sparkle with admiration as she coos over how cute he is. When she gets closer, she can’t help but feel like she’s seen that face before…

A voice shoots from behind, once again. “I’m back Ayaka-“ This time you freeze. Of course, she’d be here with him, why didn’t you think about that? Maybe while she’s distracted you make a run for the self-checkout that happens to be on the other side of the room. Yeah, that sounds like it’ll work! Plus, he shouldn’t recognize you so there’s no need for him to follow. You think a quick prayer, hoping Ayaka doesn’t tell him about you. Their conversation seems to be playing out normally and you take this chance to step out of line and speed-walk towards self-checkout.

As you input your items (since you can’t just scan them…) one by one, you exhale in relief. Almost done! Soon this’ll all be over and- where’s your card? Scrounging through your wallet you look for it in each slot. No, no, none of these are it! You can feel yourself start to get annoyed but the machine beeps before spitting out your receipt, your eyes turn towards the person who slid their card, and when your eyes land on the culprit you can practically feel yourself crack. “K-kazuha…! You really didn’t need to… but thank you… If you just give me a sec to go to the ATM I’ll get you some cash-“ He shoves the piece of paper into your grocery bags, and the next thing you know you’re being dragged out of the store by the wrist.

“Owowow-“ inhaling sharply through your teeth you caress your wrist, “No need to be rough…” Your eyes avoid looking at him but you can feel his heavy gaze on you. “So… why did you bring me out here? I kinda have somewhere to be.” “Why did you leave me.” It wasn’t a question it’s more like he was demanding an answer… Tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, sheepishly you reply, “I got busy, I guess.” His eyebrows quirk in frustration and he grabs your hands, pining them above your head. “Now’s not the time to act coy, Darling.” “Ah, and there it is. Are you still upset that I up and left you? Or maybe when I-“ You’re cut off abruptly by the sound of a baby’s laughter, you try and speak again but every time you open your mouth a giggle erupts from the infant. Kazuha releases you from his firm grip as he takes a few steps back, “You had a baby?” “My sister had a baby, to be more precise..” you reply sharply all while you wiggle your hands in front of your baby, causing him to giggle and smile. He stared at the baby for a few minutes, analyzing the way his red eyes lit up whenever you made a silly face, and he took notice of the striking red strand that accompanied his short h/c locks. It didn’t take him long to put two and two together, his slender fingers come up to your child’s much pudgier ones,

“That’s funny, I don’t seem to recall ever sleeping with your sister.”

“Well, Kazuha, you sleep with a lot of women. Sure you didn’t skip out on her charming face?”

“No, the only charming face I seem to recall is yours.”

“…”

“Is this my child, Y/n?”

You’ve stopped playing with your son and turned towards Kazuha, “So what if he is? What's it matter to you?” He smiles in response, he’s already heard everything he needed to hear. “No difference in fact, I’m not too fond of kids, to be honest,” he pulls his hands away from the small yearning ones that reach out for him when he pulls away, “So I think you’ll heart knowing that I don’t want any part of this kids life.” Your mouth opens slightly at his harsh words, and your fist clenches into a ball, “I never asked you to be part of it anyways, in fact- I already have a loving partner who enjoys being his father anyways,” A small huff came from Kazuha, he didn’t want to say anything and just let it be, but he couldn’t hold his tongue, “Oh, and who might that be? I truly doubt someone would want to stay with someone so… messy.” It hurt a little knowing he targeted you, the younger you, who was scared and insecure, but you knew you would feel all the better. “Oh, I actually think you might know him.” A smile crept up on your face as you felt pride being able to flaunt your lover, “I don’t if you remember him- oh, what am I saying? Of course, you do, yknow, he was kinda your roommate for a while? You know- the one with purple hair, anger issues, cocky, and- ah, the one mended my heart back together after you dumped me, at MY birthday party.”

Your heart sinks when you realize you raised your voice. Not because you cared about his feelings, but because of your baby, his face is churned in distress from your loud voice, and he begins to cry out loud. Inhaling sharply, you open your mouth to say something, but you swallow your words. All Kazuha could muster up was a chuckle and a sigh, he was clearly upset. Shooting him one last glare you walk off, gently patting your son's back, and trying to calm him.

He reaches out to you, but you avoid his touch and towards him with a sour expression, "Now what do you want? Can't you see I'm busy?" "I- Are you guys really..." His eyebrows furrow as he shakes his head, "No, what I mean to ask is if you told Ayaka about, y'know..." With a deep sigh, you respond in a cold tone, "No. No, I didn't tell her because it’s not really her business.” All he can do is smile and nod before he watches you walk away.

Maybe one day he would come to regret that choice, but you couldn’t care less. Even if he tried to be part of your son’s life you would allow it only if your son wanted to. For now, though, you guys were a happy little family. Your son has a loving father who spoils him with love and affection, and whenever you come home from work you’re always met with your husband playing and chasing your child around the house. Your heart melts with sappy feelings as you watch your husband and son both light up when they see you walk through the door. You could go on forever about how much you love them both but you won’t..

When you get home you set down your son on his high chair and you slouch forward as you exhale loudly, carrying him around on your chest reminded you of when you were pregnant. Once you wash up you’re back at the dining table and you’re drooling over the food your husband set out for you. Ah, you suppose you should tell him about your little encounter at the store… After you eat of course!

You’re both relaxing in the living room playing a board game, you’ve already set the baby to sleep. As you roll the dice you remember you have to tell him, “So… Today, at the store, I ran into Kazuha and- “ Scaramouche grabs your shoulders as fear fills his heart, and his eyes widen as he looks into your e/c eyes, “He didn’t hurt you or s/n did he?!” For a moment yourself stunned by how close he is. Shaking your head you grab onto his shoulders to try and ease him, “No, Scaramouche, he didn’t do anything. Although, He did drag me to the parking lot and he figured out he’s s/n’s father.. But it’s no big deal! Really!” Your face is turning sour again as you recall what he said, “He did say some things though.” Scaramouche looked frazzled as he still clung to you, “What did he say? You’re not gonna leave me right? You-“ “What? No! I would never. Besides- he doesn’t want anything to do with s/n…” He let out a sigh he had been holding in and he wrapped his lanky arms around you, “I’m sorry y/n. It’s okay though, since I’m here for you both. I promise I’ll never leave you- even if I were offered eternal happiness- I would decline since I have you both!” Your face beams with a smile and your heart feels mushy. “Would it make you feel better if he suddenly went ‘missing.’ It wouldn’t take much for me to set that up!“ You softly punch him as your face feigns shock, “No! We can’t just make him disappear just because he hurt my feelings a little- I mean yeah it would be nice, but aren’t we above that-“ Scaramouche is smiling ominously as he casually says, “Of course we’re above that. But if it were for you- I’d stoop real low.” A laugh escapes your lips as you bury yourself in his neck, “I love you.” “Oh? What's this about?” His response sounds cocky but he’s patting your hair, “You trying to have another kid-?”

Once again, you punch him, but this time harder.

Although that doesn’t sound too bad..

[foxstens]

kevin for the ask game :)

i get to ramble about my boy thank youuu

warning: this is long and unhinged. sorry

First impression

he sure is a character who exists. i did spend the first book convinced kevneil was endgame and then i was so shocked when that wasn't the case (plus when we found out he had a girlfriend 💀) but then after trk i paid a lot less attention to him because i had andreil tunnel vision. reading the extra content back then definitely helped me see kevin in a different light plus it lowkey got me on the kandreil train but for a good number of years i liked how much andrew and neil care about him more than i liked kevin himself, if that makes sense. i never hated him but he really was more like a glorified side character to me for like 8 years. which... holy shit i'm so glad tsc changed my perspective.

Impression now

bestest boy ever. blorbo of blorbos. character of all time. i need to dissect him i need to put him in a blender i need to torture him i need to eat him i need to protect him i need to make him happy i need to put him in my pocket. i never want to stop thinking about him.

Favorite moment

uhm. hardest question ever? i love all of his moments and choosing just one would feel so weird because it's all of them together that make him such a fascinating character, you know? but perhaps the 'my father comes to all of my games' one. because that scene is really the perfect summary of kevin's entire personality. and i am now in tears. as happens every time i think about that scene. was that the first time he said smth like that to wymack. how do you think he felt ;-;

Idea for a story

idk what this means. like i have too many ideas how am i supposed to choose one. kevin is endlessly fascinating because he is vital to the plot but we also never get to see his pov. but also if you change one thing about him everything changes. i don't think it's possible to be a kevin fan without having a million story ideas about him.

so anyway recently i've been thinking about an au where ichirou becomes infatuated with kevin while he's still in the nest and how that would affect kevin's relationship with riko and also everything that happens during canon. :)

Unpopular opinion

i probably have a lot of these but i'm not sure what the actual popular opinions are about kevin. except for one. i don't think he's that bad. i know canon pretty much beats us over the head with the idea that he's an insufferable bitch but when he's not on the court, is he really that bad? he's about as rude and mean as any of the other foxes (or ravens), and he has the same one track mind that both jean and neil do. there's this tendency to talk about kevin as if he is actually the most most most insufferable mf on the planet and as if nobody in the books likes him or considers him a friend. it's just not true and so i kinda hate it :/

Favorite relationship

kandrew. kandrew. kandrew. kevneil too and kandreil in general but there's something about kandrew that makes me love it just a tiny bit more. because they annoy the shit out of each other and they'll never see eye to eye when it comes to exy but they're also best friends and they're so tender and they are both so so important for the other's healing journey and arrrghh i love everything about them. also codependency 👍

Favorite headcanon

i have about 70 of these and i'm currently forgetting all of them. but one of them has to be the idea that riko was the only one who would listen to his history rants. it's probably not accurate to canon since we know kevin was close with thea and jean as well but it makes my heart hurt. therefore it's great 👍 (been on a kevriko kick lately sorryr)

[psihawaii]

ive finishied green vs red and i have no idea what i just watched. i know you said you dont need to watch any of the others but does it help?

but i did think it was funny and interesting, it has that fullmetal alchemist property where all the main characters are men but my favorite characters are the women. my favorite joke in the whole thing was the zoom in on lupins goofy ass grin in a mugshot with the subtitle ‘he’s always smart and cool’

I will say that me going ‘you dont have to know anything abt lupin iii at all going in 👍’ is moreso a personal thing abt me wanting to make the experience as confusing as possible, mostly if not entirely bc 1. I think it’s funny and 2. The film Also wants to make the experience of watching it as confusing as possible for plot reasons what with scenes being deliberately out of order + the movie never really explaining it’s main… Concept. I guess? I definitely don’t think it was the intended viewing experience (it was supposed to be a 40th anniversary special LMAO it is supposed to be a celebration of the franchise) but I just think it’s interesting to gauge ppls thoughts about what it could mean bc. In my opinion, green vs red’s larger Themes aren’t specific to lupin as much as they are abt any popular ‘morally grey’ male character/real. actual person/the effect media and fiction has on our real lives.

But to answer your question, i think knowing anything abt lupin iii only rlly helps with figuring out the preexisting characters relationship to lupin (which, sounds like a Big Thing, and i definitely do think knowing them a little makes for some Crazy implications with the concept of the film, but i think you get Enough context from what’s shown in the film + the thoughts and feelings of the gvr exclusive characters are more important, which do get explored thoroughly (or as thoroughly as the film can explain it)) and with all the lupin iii references (which are… obviously gonna be superfluous. theyre cute!! and i like em. but theyre not Needed to completely enjoy the flim). I feel like i’d be putting ‘Who Lupin Is. Like As A Person’ on this list, but again i feel like theres enough context within the film where you can figure it/what you Need to to watch it out. But of course im biased bc i watched green vs red pretty late into my lupin phase + i’ve watched it like five times in the past year.

BUT IM GLAD YOU LIKED IT!! It genuinely is one of my favorite movies of all time despite its problems. I think the idea of a really popular anime doing a non-linear metacommentary on itself as an anniversary film is Insane and whether or not you (the royal you. not you specifically syl) think it was executed well or a good celebration of the franchise its at least INTERESTING its a lot to think about… I really do like it as a commentary about legacy and idolizing problematic figures and how the media you consume/what you’re shown affects you as a person good and bad its… gaaahhhhhhh. I love media thats abt media.

And the thing abt lupin As A Whole really is that. It has really good women with crazy stories and roles and implications and it treats them HORRIBLYYYYYYYY like 85% of the time. the woman called fujiko mine (another artsy divisive examination of the franchise) is SUPPOSED to be more focused on its women (or woman. Singular.) and her role in the series and its…… interesting. good and bad. i would not say it centers women in a way thats tasteful or uhm… good as a narrative (at least towards the end) (and i feel like all of the Good interesting things it has to say that hold up by the end all have to do with the men!!!!!) (i almost wanna recommend twcfm to ppl as well but i have supremely Less authority on it and claim Less responsibility on the feelings anyone may or may not have abt it)

[trans-yllz]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @koipalm tyyyy tho it's so funny to call me w my 3 fics a fic writer I appreciate it tho love and light

1) how many works do you have on ao3?

3 :^)

2) what's your total ao3 word count?

76,252 baby

3) what are your top five fics by kudos?

well as previously mentioned I've only written three but of those it goes don't you want to share the guilt, no charming smile no violet eyes, and lastly a heaven so sweet you don't have to die for it young (<- guy who can't stop using rlly long titles)

4) what fandoms do you write for?

just cql because it has an iron clad grip on my brain like nothing else

5) do you respond to comments? why or why not?

no which I feel bad about now but I started out not responding because I suppose I wasn't sure how?? and now it feels too late to start 😭 but know that if you've ever left a comment on a fic I love and cherish and appreciate it and think about it often 🩷

6) what's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

a heaven so sweet you don't have to die for it young.... it's unfinished at a sad part but it was also never going to have a happy ending because it's a speculation on jiang chengs grief in the years that wei wuxian was dead, and the end of that thought is just the part of the canon story that we know is miserable and sad for him. it was also written at a very very difficult time in my life and that for sure comes through in the writing

7) what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

uhm probably ncsnve. I think even dywtstg leaves some things unsaid and a lot of grief unhealed but everyone is doing pretty solid at the end of ncsnve lmao

8) do you get hate on fics?

I've gotten exactly two hate comments on a fic. one was incest appology so it doesn't matter and the other was immediately clowned on by other people 😭 and honestly that one was a compliment to me because it was an "ugh why is the author so Mean to jiang cheng" kind of comment and I was scared that I had been too forgiving to him in that fic so shoutout to that person

9) do you write smut?

no because I refuse to be a virgin writing porn and also I'm full of shame. the best you'll get from me are some flowery illusions to sex 👍

10) do you write crossovers?

no and I'm not rlly a crossover fic reader either. it just doesn't rlly do anything for me I don't care about my guys being in a different universe. I think also like the reason I write fics is to explore the themes and feelings that could not be explored in the show, and a crossover doesn't really fulfill that purpose in any meaningful way to me

11) have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge? I don't think anybody cares enough to steal my writing 😭

12) have you ever had a fic translated?

again not that I know of? I wouldn't be opposed to it tho

13) have you ever cowritten a fic before?

no I would hate that so bad. I write for me and me only baby I'm not letting anybody else in here. I also have a very uhm. let's say Strong Personality and I think if I tried to write something with another person I'd kill them

14) what's your all time favorite ship?

wangxian 🩷

15) what's the wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

shoutout to jiang sect mo xuanyu au you are so fun and also dead

16) what are your writing strengths?

uuuhm I think that I have a very strong writing "voice" and a good grasp of tone. I'm very articulate and a big stickler for not using the same word multiple times in the same section of writing + finding just the right word for what I mean which I think results in good word choice and interesting prose. I like to believe that I'm good at motifs, parallels, and symbolism, but who knows if thats actually true. at the very least I am very dedicated to them 😭 I've also been told that I'm very good at accurately capturing emotions, which I think is a goal I have in any art I make. one of my favorite compliments I've ever gotten on a fic is that I had written a character with a lot of compassion, and I hope that that is a strength throughout everything I write. at the very least, I put a lot of love into everything I create. also I'm hilarious

17) what are your writing weaknesses?

I struggle a lot w dialogue, both in making it sound the way actual human beings speak, and in keeping strong and consistent character voices. I tend to not know how to separate My voice as a writer from the characters voices and how they actually speak. the barrier of cql being in a different language where everything is translated for me and thus changed also makes this a challenge. I will also be the first one to admit that I am not really a plot guy when it comes to fics. I struggle with plot in my original writing as well and I think that fics as a medium are more forgiving of this weakness but it also limits what I write about when all I'm doing is exploring emotions and not really telling a story. it's a lot to ask people to read 50k words of absolute nothingness 😭 I think my strength of being articulate can also be a weakness at certain times? sometimes I read things I've written and just cringe because certain things come off as gratuitous or miss the mark of being eloquent or poetic and just sort of end up being pretentious or silly. at a certain point it's better to not know all of those synonyms. there are also some grammar things that I simply don't understand. like there are some things that I have a strong grasp on and that I'M very picky about but there's just some writing conventions that I know are a weak point and I'm sure it pisses some people off lmao. as is made evident by these answers I have also been known to sort of go on and on, which I'm sure can get tiring at a certain point

18) thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

tew be so honest no I don't have thoughts on that 👍

19) first fandom you wrote for?

it's a secret

20) favourite fic you've ever written?

ncsnve I put a lot of love and heart into it :^) there are things I don't like and wish I could go back and change because they make me want to tear my hair out but overall I think it's a strong piece of writing. you should read it btw xoxo

I'll tag my good friends @wutheringheightsfilm and @mqfx

[kingmagnificoofrosas]

I’m gonna list some foods, you guys tell us if you’d eat it or pass!

• pizza

• chicken

• hashbrowns

• chips

• chips

• I really like chips

• honey chicken with Mac and cheese

• jam donuts

And any food you guys wanna take you can! If you just wanna give your opinion that’s all good too 👍💙

"Here we go again. More food." *leans back in chair*

"Don't look at me! I wasn't like - Oh, I eat like a starved T-Rex every day!"

"Did you just compare me to a dinosaur?"

"Your appetite! When you're very hungry you go grrrrr."

"Well ..."

"Grrrrr, I want steak, rrrrr!"

"Stop it, baby crocodile!" *pushes my shouler in amusement*

"Garrrrrr! Steaaaak!" 🦖

"Julie!"

😝 "Ok, ok! Fine! Let's do this!" 😃 "Pizza ... eh, I will eat it if I must but it's definitely not my favourite. Pass."

"What's a pizza?"

"Relatively modern dish from italy. Flat dough, traditionally with tomato-sauce, mozzarella cheese and basil. However, these days it comes in many more versions. Salami sausage, cheese, mushrooms ... honestly, sometimes they put the craziest things on pizza."

*shrugs shoulders* "I'll try it." *takes a slice* "Oh! Is ... is it supposed to ... be that floppy?"

😂 "Yes. Original italian pizza. Don't get me started on the disgusting frozen ones. Big yikes! Try folding both sides to the middle, like a sandwich. Its easier to eat that way."

*eats* "That is very interesting! It's good."

"Ok, next! Chicken? YES!"

"Yes!"

*laugh* "Chicken in any shape or form right? Speaking of modern food! Remember the chicken nuggets I had this one anon make us?"

"Oh, yes! You got good taste for being such a picky eater!" 😏

"Pfff, very charming. Thank you Magnifico!"

"You're welcome dear." 😌 "Now what are hashbrowns? Some sort of animal?"

*snort* 🤣 "Ahahaha! Yes, beware the potato! Very dangerous! It's natural habitat is the field and at night it goes out to hunt handsome kings!"

"Don't be silly!"

"It's made out of potatos!"

"I figured as far."

"Basically, grated potatos that get fried."

"Again the frying?" *tries* "Somewhat boring compared to the other things."

"Not my favourite either. If my Dad makes them however, I make sure to dip them into a sauce or something. Mayonaise, ketchup, anything!"

"Chips." *inspects the bowl*

"Magnifico!"

"Hm?"

"No scientific examination!"

*chuckles* "Don't worry. I was just looking."

"Yeah, by now I know that expression!"

"What do you mean?"

"You know ... the ... the thing you do with your eyebrows, that, that hyper focus thing! Like so-"

*laughs* "If you do that you remind me of an angry kitten."

"An angry kitten can bite as well. Anyway! Ohhh nachos with cheese dip! Or guacamole!"

*tries* "Yes, I can understand people liking this!"

"Ok, lets see .... Honey-chicken and mac and cheese. OUHHH, Mac'n cheese!!"

"More cheese?"

"Never enough cheese!"

"I can order us a cheese plate."

"Yes please!! Oh and anything noodles is a win for me!"

"Who knew."

"Try spagetti and we're talking!"

"Jam donuts." *tries* 😳 *puts them to the side slowly* "Shhht! You never saw a thing!"

"Uhm ... weren't there like, donuts or something?"

"What donuts? There were donuts?"

🤨 "Jam filled buns? Raspberry and strawberry jam filled fried dough?"

😐

*opens hand* ☺️🫴🏼

*groan* "Fine! Here you go!"

"Thank you!" 😁 *eyes the donut for a moment and then gives it back* "You can have them all."

😧 "Why?"

"Because."

"Because what?"

"Because, because!" *looks to the side* "Puppy eyes."

"What was that?"

"Eat your stupid donuts and don't ask!"

*chuckles* "I was joking. Please, I won't eat them if I can't share them with you. I'll feel bad."

"Awww. Fine. Just one then. They're calorie bombs!"

*looks at you* "Thank you for the food!"

[ultimate-distaster-material]

-Saiouma Oneshots- Sad Kokichi x Shuichi

>Quick Disclaimer< Ok so I don't know what the dorms look like in V3 so uhm...And they already know about Maki's talent. Ok but I actually tried to do this yet I still failed 😃👍

!TW! Suicidal Thoughts A Lot of Crying Depression

KOKICHI POV

I, Kokichi Ouma am the Ultimate Supreme Leader. In life, my one goal was to make people happy and to help them live a good life. My goal, however, was abandoned when I mysteriously entered a killing game. Nobody knew how or why this all happened. All i know is that when I started to make jokes, I just annoyed people. I focused so much on trying to make them smile that I barely had time to fake a smile myself. And in the end, I gave up.

The clock read 2:00am. I was tired but I had to do this. I started taking notes under everyone's portrait on my whiteboard, attempting to figure out the mastermind. To everyone else, I was a liar. A filthy, useless liar. That is my reputation, and it always will be. If only they knew. If only they saw me stay up till 2:00am in the morning, helping them instead of helping myself.

I asked Monokuma to give Maki and Kiibo new bathroom mirrors yesterday, since they broke theirs somehow. Monokuma, despite my warning beforehand telling him not to, confessed that I was the person who requested the mirrors. He even told me what they said.

"As if that gremlin would do something like this. Jeez, you're even more of a liar than him, aren't you?" -Maki

"Monokuma...Are you sure? I don't think he would do something like this, have you got your programming mixed up?" -Kiibo

He was just telling me to force me into despair, even though I already am.

A couple hours later, I decided to go to bed now, since I've been staying up a little too late and the others would soon notice. I didn't even glance at the clock as I usually would before preparing myself for sleep. Pulling the covers over my exhausted body, my eyelids fluttered closed and I was washed away into a deep sleep.

Or at least, that's what I wanted to happen. The morning announcement rang through my room, bouncing off the walls and almost making me want to kill myself. Actually, I should. They should see how much I do for them once I'm gone. Right? I sighed and rolled out of bed, dreading the thought of going out into the dining hall. But some things have to be done, correct? I slipped on my uniform and headed to the cafeteria before the others arrived, hoping to not see them. But then again, that would be really suspicious, don't you think?

I took a seat at the table that was the furthest away from the doors, watching as the others flooded into the room one by one. Kirumi made her way around the room, receiving people's orders for breakfast. Meanwhile, I failed to notice that Shuichi was running over to my table. To talk to me. Me.

We talked throughout breakfast, my mask breaking a couple times due to the exhaustion. Hopefully he didn't notice. But he just had to, didn't he? I mean, that's what detectives were made for.

"Are you sure you're okay, Kokichi? Do you wanna skip breakfast and rest? You look pretty tired-"

"I'm fine."

Liar. Filthy useless liar.

"You aren't filthy and useless Kokichi."

Huh? Did I say that out loud?

"W-What do you mean? I never said anything about being-"

"I heard you. Perhaps you were thinking about it yet accidently said it out loud? Am I right?"

I shyly nodded, seeing the pity in his yellow eyes. This wasn't supposed to happen. It wasn't going to happen, until I made this mistake. Well, I guess mistakes make mistakes. That's what my parents said anyway.

"See you later detective! I have an evil scheme to plan!"

"Bye..."

I cheerfully skipped off down the halls, humming a tune, acting happy. I was not happy at all. I never have been since this killing game happened. One thing I failed to notice was the detective following me. I never even realised he was there. You'd think a Supreme Leader of Evil would know this. What an excuse of an Ultimate I am.

I entered my room, closing the door behind me. I walked over and plopped my limp body onto the bed, hugging a pillow while sitting upright, leaning into the soft object. I nuzzled my face into the soft cushion, letting the tears flow out. The pillow was stained with tears as I kept crying, my cheeks the same. My eyes were red and puffy, and my cheeks were slightly rosy. A headache started to form a I cried louder and harder, unleashing all of the tears that were built up. Good thing the walls were soundproof.

I felt something rub my back as I continued to cry. I turned around to see Shuichi. I thought I locked the door...That is another mistake I made today. He snaked his arms around my waist, laying on the bed and pulling me down with him. My glassy eyes met with his as he smiled and I let out a sniffle. I was trying with all my might not to cry as I gently snuggled closer to the detective, tossing the soaking pillow to the side and nuzzling into his chest. I sniffles more as he combed his hands through my hair delicately. I felt like I was going to break. I don't deserve this. He doesn't deserve to be here with a filthy useless liar like me. So why isn't he leaving?

"I locked the door, if you need someone to vent to I'm right here y'know. Don't be afraid to cry. Supreme Leaders may be strong...But they can cry just like everyone else."

With that, I finally snapped. I screamed and cried, telling him all my problems. I knew I could trust him.

Thank you, Shuichi.