#i miss Saphael and was in my feels so here we are

[bytheangell]

Don’t Mistake What You Have With What You Hate

(s02e15 inspired fic)  (Read on AO3) 

Why did Raphael have to grow attached to such a monumental pain in his ass?

There isn’t a single part of him that believes Simon when he says that he doesn’t know how he became a Daylighter. That isn’t the sort of thing that just happens - there has to be one moment, one monumental shift that changed everything about Simon’s entire being. Not to mention the fact that he can read Simon, and knows him well enough to know when he’s lying. The poor guy couldn’t hide an emotion if he tried, and every time Raphael brings it up Simon’s nervousness and anxiety skyrocket.

The others might buy the ‘probably just something with the Soul Sword’ deflection, but not Raphael.

Raphael saw the bodies of his clan, of the Downworlders he considered not just friends but family, lined up to be identified that night. The sword didn’t give anyone extra life, it only ended life.

The thing about Simon is that he isn’t selfish. Raphael knows better than to think Simon’s trying to keep this to himself to be special - if he’s lying, it’s to protect someone else. Or a whole group of ‘someone else's’. Raphael hates that Simon’s loyalties lie so firmly with the Nephilim that he’d lie to Raphael’s face to protect them, and that’s the real reason he sends Simon away.

But Raphael doesn’t hate Simon.

It’d be easier if he hated Simon for lying to him about how he became a Daylighter. It’d be so much easier to watch Simon walk away and immediately stop caring about what happens to him when he runs back to the Shadowhunters, or the werewolves, or wherever it is he goes when he’s not where he should be: with his clan. With Raphael.

Raphael doesn’t just not hate Simon. He likes Simon, against all of his better judgment, and that’s the real problem here.

Because as much as Raphael likes Simon, that doesn’t stop the flare of jealousy over Simon’s ability to walk in the sun. The same jealousy that makes him send Simon away when it’s the last thing he actually wants to do. He reminds himself that he has to be cold and calculated to get what he wants, what he needs, from Simon. He’s lived enough years in the dark to deserve his last few moments in the sun with Rosa, and he’s going to get them no matter what the cost.

Even if that cost ends up pushing Simon away, no matter how much that hurts the both of them.

He doesn’t actually plan on leaving Simon to fend for himself in the face of a murder charge, though. He doesn’t believe for a second that Simon actually killed that girl, even if Simon doesn’t seem so certain himself.

No, Raphael’s sure that of all the bad decisions Simon made the night before, murder isn’t one of them. Hiding out will only get Simon so far, however, and the only way to really help him is to find out who did kill the girl. Maybe then Simon will be grateful enough, or at the very lead obligated enough, to tell Raphael about becoming a Daylighter. Then they can start over and fix everything Raphael’s broken to get the information he needs.

It doesn’t hurt that Raphael hates the bleeder dens. He always has, and this? This is why. This is the first mundane death he’s heard about but that doesn’t mean it’s the first mundane death ever from them, and that isn’t going to fly under his leadership.

At first Raphael assumes that he has some time, because time is a luxury that one takes for granted when they’re immortal. It’s only when Simon turns himself in to the police that Raphael has to face the reality of his situation: the fact that Simon is a good person is going to get him fucking killed. How did he not anticipate Simon’s perceived guilt getting the better of him? Simon’s self-preservation instincts are terrible on a good day, and today? Today isn’t a good day, not for Simon.

And not for Raphael, either, if he can’t figure out what really happened last night. So Raphael bends the rules. He calls in some favors. He makes a few promises and deals and exchanges, and when all else fails he makes threats instead. Raphael does what he has to do to get the answers he needs, the ones that lead him to Quinn.

And, if he’s lucky, the ones that will lead Simon back to him.

[antisocial-af]

Day 14: Saphael (Angst)

Title: For death and mourning the color’s...

25 Days of Pairings: Day 14 Saphael (Angst)

Promo:

If you are interested in Rare Pairs, think about joining Shadowhunters Rare Pair Gift Exchange.  I’ve already sent in my form! Sign-ups End on December 19th so don’t  miss your chance and don’t be afraid to be as specific as you want on  the forms!

Rating: M

Wordcount: 1012

Past Major Character Death

Angst, Hurt no Comfort, Winter Fic, No Happy Ending, Canonical Death.

Summary:

Simon visits Raphael's grave.

Click here to Read on Ao3

Story:

Simon trudged through the snow. More snowflakes were falling, but the night’s embrace covered the innocent white in the darkness. Simon slipped his Steele back into his pocket after reaching his destination. No rune could help him withstand the pain of where he is. 

He kneeled on the icy ground and took out a small rosary along with a mix of lilies and carnations. Simon ran his gloved hand over the snow-covered gravestone and felt his heart tighten like it always would when he read the carved words.   

‘Raphael Ortiz Santiago

Son. Leader. Family. Friend.

September 29th, 1937 - December 14th, 2007’

Simon had been coming to visit Raphael since late January after his successful ascension that blessed cursed him with his memories back. He recalled trying to keep it together as all of the Shadow World’s memories, and the deal in Edom flew back into him. Simon had played with the coin Magnus had gifted him. Once his memories returned, he understood why Magnus had given the coin to him. It had been Raphael’s.

A harsh wind threatened to tear the items from his hands. Even with the alcohol warming his body, Simon could still feel the biting cold. He started his practiced routine unconsciously, taking the old flowers from last week and placing the new ones. Simon would put the new rosary and take the old one from one of the small crosses that ordained the grave’s sides. Once done, Simon would lean back and stare at his work. It was second nature for Simon to end a Sunday’s hunt with a few drinks and a visit to Raphael after almost a year. 

“Hey Raph,” Simon started, only to pause again as his throat began to tighten. “I hope you like the flowers I brought this time. Shadowhunters have greenhouses; who knew. I mean, you probably did and most likely tried to tell me at some point.” 

He bit his lip and tried to keep himself in check. After all this time, his visits still pushed him to tears. 

“I ran into Lily tonight. She took over the New York Clan officially now. I mean, everyone knew she was in charge before, but now it is official. The Clan celebrated by throwing a huge party in the hotel,” Simon stopped again and wiped his eyes against his sleeve. “They invited me, but I still can’t go in there. I can’t go back there and not see you.” 

Simon had tried the first time he returned to New York, but the closest he could get without the memories stealing his mobility was standing on the roof across from the hotel during his patrols. Simon would always volunteer to patrol the Dumort’s area when the Institute would post the shifts. Lily and Elliot had tried to invite him in once when they had seen him, but Simon could never will himself to cross the street and up those steps. 

“I really wanted you to be wrong, you know,” Simon confessed as tears burrowed into the snow below him. “You always preached that Shadowhunters would always choose their own kind over everyone else, and I don’t know if it was my anger at the time for being hurled into an unknown world or my naiveness, but I really wanted you to be wrong. I wanted Shadowhunters to be like the selfless heroes in my comic books.” 

After the ascension, Simon had realized how skewed the history taught in the Shadowhunter Academy was. He recalled bits of Raphael’s vampire history lessons and filled the parts that the academy had decided to leave out. They wrote off years and lives from their textbooks because it would’ve disillusioned the future generations of Shadowhunters. Simon had learned then that the Clave was more concerned with their image than the repeat of history. 

“I still think I have a chance of winning, though,” Simon smiled softly as he rubbed his eye clear again. “The new generation of Shadowhunters aren’t as close-minded as the previous generation. I can see you rolling your eyes already but trust me. Alec is whipping them into shape. Magnus says that Alec is different from other Shadowhunters. They’re still not married, but they finally settled Max in, I think.”    

Simon could hear the low hum caused by a portal behind him. He knew his time was almost up. Simon rubbed his hand softly over the top of the gravestone, rubbing some of the fresh snow away. 

“I keep thinking about what could’ve been; maybe if I had tried to understand you better, we would be having a different conversation under better circumstances,” Simon pushed through as his eyes clouded again. “I’m sorry, Raphael, I threw the kindness, safety, security, and family you offered me back at you like an ungrateful child.” 

Simon felt a hand curl on top of his white Shadowhunter gear. He looked behind him and caught the sympathetic gaze of Magnus. Simon, if allowed, would stay out here talking to Raphael for hours. He had a few times the first weeks Simon had visited. He remembered the groundskeeper’s lawnmower serving as his alarm every time. 

“Who was it this time?” Simon asked as he stood up, wiping the snow off himself. He knew it would be either Jace or Isabelle who ratted him out this time. They would notice he wouldn’t come back from patrols and immediately call Magnus. 

“Alec noticed your bow was still missing from the armory,” Magnus responded and pulled a thick coat tightly around Simon. “It’s time to go home, Simon. You can come again later.” 

“Bye, Raph, see you next week.” Simon somberly smiled and turned to where the portal was still open. He was thankful that Magnus never tried to push him to talk right after a visit. 

Magnus stepped in the portal before him, and Simon looked back one more time where the snow had now started to cover the new flowers. He smiled and followed Magnus to the Institute, waiting on the other side.  

How can I go home when you aren’t waiting there? 

[raphaelshusband]

7 super abilities that help Raphael Santiago to love Simon Lewis | saphael one shot

Crossover Shadowhunters x Boku no Hero Academia

Super hearing

Raphael felt as if his head was about to explode. He heard all the voices in the corridor, in the rooms next door, and in the rooms across his room. He put the pillow over his head when he heard footsteps. The person was walking towards him.

"Rapha!" There was a beautiful and clear voice.

"Lewis," he grunted, hiding his face in the pillow.

"Oh, Rapha! We've been together for two months, you know my name!"

"Stop screeching," he growled. He felt the quilt slide off him and someone was lifting him away from the bed. The quirk of his boyfriend was the possibility of lengthening the hair by a good few meters, which turned into guitar strings.

"Let me go, Simon," he murmured, looking at Lewis, who looked like Rapunzel at that moment.

"It's time to practice, c'mon!"

"Stop screaming" he hissed.

"Sensitive hearing, huh?" he bared his teeth in a smile.

"Simon, I haven't slept all night, I'm tired" the brown-eyed didn't seem to listen to him, just left the room. Raphael was struck by harsh light. "Lewis, bring me back" looked down at the boy's head. They must have looked comical, and he felt like a balloon. Simon was already dressed in his school jumpsuit and Santiago was still in a white T-shirt and black shorts.

"You know well it's time to get up. Don't whine," he said seriously.

"I don't understand why I'm with you" Raphael lowered his head.

"Because you love me."

"Idiota."

 Super eyesight

"I can not see!"

"Turn left."

"What?" Raphael heard a crack.

"I told you to turn left" Simon started rubbing his head. The black-haired grabbed his hand and started to drag him.. They both got lost in the forest during the competition and the endless night had come and they were still circling among the trees. Santiago was sure that the rest of the participants had already started looking for them.

He felt the boy's hand begin to shake and sweat.

"Are you afraid?" He asked with a sly smirk.

"What? No! I want to be a super hero! I'm not afraid of.. dark!" he shouted. "Maybe a little.."

"Stop yelling, I'm leading us out of here."

"Do you know where we are at all?"

"No. But I'll try to get us out of here as soon as possible. Watch your feet."

"I can barely see the tip of my nose and I have to watch my feet?"

"Your eyesight should adjust right away."

"It won't be as sharp as yours, vampire."

"Don't call me that," he rolled his eyes.

"But that's what your quirk is called, isn't it?"

"I don't call you a guitar."

"Will you stop being so stiff?" 

"I'm not stiff. Watch out, a root" Lewis stumbled anyway. "Dios."

They didn't know how much time had passed. It got very cold, and Simon was shivering, his teeth chattering. It felt like they were walking forever.

"I'm tired," he groaned. Raphael put his arm around him. "Are you cold?"

"A little.." Raphael took off his katana and threw it over the boy's shoulders. "What about you? Won't you get cold?"

"I will endure," Santiago replied. After a few minutes, he saw a blue flame. "Bane's there. We are close."

"Raphael! Simon! You are here!" Magnus shouted. Santiago pulled a leaf out of his hair.

"We're alive," he grunted.

"W.. we got lost.." Simon began to explain.

"You will be confessing to Professor Garroway. I didn't know you had such a poor orientation in the field, Raph," Magnus smacked him friendlyly on the back of the head, forgetting the flame.

Raphael screamed.

 Acute smell

Raphael was breathing heavily, his legs felt like cotton wool. He walked between the pieces of rubble, unearthing it.

"Raphael!" He heard a female voice. Clary Fray was running towards him. "We lost Simon!" Santiago froze. He clenched his hands into fists, the skin of his fingerless gloves creaking.

"Where was the last time?" He asked as he followed her. She pointed to the spot next to Magnus Bane and three Lightwoods.

Raphael took a deep breath and coughed.

"Dios, how did he get perfumed today," he choked out. He shook himself quickly and began to stride forward. "This way" he waved his hand. They entered the collapsing building.

"Are you sure it's here?"

"Si. I can feel him" he pressed the door handle, which immediately fell off. He sighed in exasperation and aimed a kick at the door, which fell with a crash. He squeezed his eyes shut. In his present state, the sound was extremely sharp.

"Lewis," he entered the room where Simon had become tangled with the strings against the window frame.

"Oh, Raphael! How good it is that you are!" he exclaimed embarrassed.

"Don't move now" he pulled a golden dagger from his belt and carefully placed it against the strings. Then he jerked it sharply toward himself. Simon dropped to the ground. "Idiota."

 Acute touch

"You're impossible," replied Simon, shoving a chocolate into Raphael's mouth

"I can feel anything, Simon. I could feel every tiny blood vessel under your skin if I want to. But I don't feel like it." Lewis chuckled as he put his hands under Raphael's shirt and ran them over the light lines of his muscles.

They were currently in Simon's room. Santiago was lying on the bed with a black blindfold over his eyes, and Lewis was straddling him.

The brown-eyed had gentle, smooth fingers. The Mexican felt a pleasant shiver. He felt his soft lips against his neck. The younger boy began to give little kisses, and the dark-eyed melted his fingers into Simon's fluffy hair. When they were not in the form of long strings, they were paradise.

He inhaled the scent of Simon, the bitter scent of perfume filling his nostrils.

"Stop perfuming yourself with that filth."

"You bought them for me," he murmured, leaving a red mark on his skin.

"I thought they smelled nice."

"You have a great sense of smell and you didn't know they smell nice?"

"I didn't smell them"

"Who buys perfumes and doesn't smell them?" He kissed the collarbone of the raven haired man.

"Don't judge me," he grunted. Brunet grabbed the older t-shirt and pulled it off.

"I don't understand why you had it on."

"As befits a normal person, I wear clothes."

"Don't spoil the moment of our first time."

"Callate" brown-eyed put the chocolate in his mouth. Raphael grabbed the back of his head, pressing their lips together in a kiss. At the same time, he took the chocolate.

"It was gross."

"You are gross" he replied chewing on the chocolate. Simon rolled his eyes and kissed him again.

 Acute taste

Simon sneezed as his hair shot out like a slingshot and the whole bed was covered with a sea of ​​strings. He took a few sips of cocoa, but then groaned in disappointment.

"I can't taste anything.." The Mexican lunged beside him, taking the cup from his hands and taking a few sips.

"Only thirty percent cocoa."

"You're not helping," he grunted.

"What can I help you with?" He raised one eyebrow and wound one of the strings around his finger, and it immediately fell apart. "I am taking care of you, that's definitely enough." Simon took his cup from him and flopped down on the pillows. He coughed and turned to the boy.

"How did you know how many percent cocoa there is?"

"Acute taste," he replied without taking his eyes off the phone. The brown-eyed grabbed his cheeks and pressed their lips together with a passionate kiss. Brunet made a muffled sound. Lewis licked his lower lip, and as Santiago opened his mouth slightly, their tongues began to fight a fierce battle. "You taste like caramel," he gasped.

 Super speed

They stood facing each other. They had to fight each other at the school tournament. Raphael was sure he could beat Lewis and throw him over the white rope. However, he was wrong.

Each of the quirks has its own physical properties and cannot be used forever.

When Simon attacked, in a split second he was out of reach in the year of the pitch.

"It's weird to fight like this not with you, but with your hair," he smiled slyly.

"You are fighting me" he attacked again. The dark-eyed dodged the blow again.

"Make an effort more" moved at the boy with supernatural speed, but to his surprise Simon stepped back at the last moment.

 Lewis seemed to be deliberately dealing blind blows. At times he missed Santiago by a millimeter.

The Mexican stood in the center, Simon in front of him. He was barely standing and breathing heavily. He used his limit.

Raphael decided not to give up and ran towards him, but fell to the sand. Lewis merely wrapped the strings around it and placed it gently outside the white line.

Simon Lewis won.

 Super strength

"Hey Raphael, can you .." Simon looked at him with surprise and horror in his eyes. Black-haired was holding three shopping nets in both hands without any effort. "I  wanted to ask you only for two .."

"I'll take them all," he replied, heading for the car.

"You definitely scare me at times."

"And many times I save your ass."

"Leave me alone."

[normal-thoughts-official]

Polycule ask: who gives who flowers? Besides Mel ofc giving their partners really lovely and meaningful ones. I’m mostly saying this bc I adore the idea of Maia’s partners just... showering her in beautiful and lively things. Also because I feel in my heart of hearts that Simon’s train of thought about Raphael is: hm. He’s old fashioned and likes nice things, but I wouldn’t know what to buy him. I want to court him (someone, mb Izzy or Maia: court?? Why are you talking like that)... flowers! :)

POLYCULE ASK! POLYCULE ASK! POLYCULE ASK! god i’ve missed those!! it’s been a while aaaaaaaaa and i lOVE this one im so excited!!! YES!!

ok so first of all yes meliorn like u said always gives them flowers, and they always get meliorn flowers as well because they know this means a lot in seelie culture so it’s always a nice gife/expression of love for her :)

i also have the headcanon that meliorn gets some flowers for taki’s, which idk if counts as Giving Her Partners Flowers, but i think it’s a cute touch that helps her be a part of taki’s considering she’s less in their realm than the others and doesn’t visit as much. also, she gets the most beautiful, sunny, wonderful flowers for them and they always fit the ambiance so well and it’s really nice :) they aso always have faint but good smells that both maia and raphael can appreciate and that won’t get in the way of their sensory issues and that are also allergy-proof because MAGIC okay. like it’s just :’) wonderful

and you are CORRECT, all the flowers for maia!!! i have particularly soft images of izzy getting maia flowers kind of awkwardly because this is not something she’s really done before except for meliorn, which was easier because she knows seelie flower language so all she had to do was put together a meaning and BAM! done. but for maia she has to make a Pretty Arrangement without having a sorta... meaning chart to go by or something, so that feels weirder somehow?? and she’s kind of lost and probably gets to maia’s all sheepish in a way that’s very uncharacteristic of her with roses and shit (she went to alec for help because they are that kind of siblings and alec is a traditional man so roses it was. also she will be teased FOREVER because of that, which is only fair considering how much she got on his ass). the bouquet is probably too big and maia laughs when she sees it but izzy has that huge smile and looks at her with those big imploring eyes of her like “do you like it?” tilting her head you know, and maia smiles and is like “yeah, i like it, you nerd” and izzy absolutely beams at her

but also!!!!!! simon!!!!!!! and i’ll get to simon getting raphael flowers in a second because boy i do love that image but SIMON GETTING MAIA FLOWERS okay. it’s probably a spur of the moment thing like he went past a flower shop and saw something pretty (im picturing yellow flowers just because...... maia in yellow.... the way it would POP on her and she would look so amazing and gorgeous and lively and just PERFECT ugh) and bought it on impulse so now he’s seeing her in their date that was probably like a movie date or something, you know, definitely not customary to bring flowers to those, and maia laughs and is like “what is this? we came here to watch the new star wars” and he’s like “yeah i know but i saw those on the way and just... thought of you” and she smiles and says “that’s pretty cute” and they kiss and it’s SOFT

also picturing he takes it to her at taki’s or something and raphael teases him like “what, none for me?” and he gets all flustered you know like “sorry i just uh i just saw those and i thought of maia, you know, because yellow suits her so well, and i didn’t think that uh, i didn’t stop to look at others for you, but i probably should have-” and raphael laughs like “simon, relax, you can save the flowers for another time” and simon is like “so you do want flowers! okay good!” and maia just giggles as she places her flowers somewhere safe at their anticts. GOD I LOVE SAIAPHAEL SO MUCH IT’S UNREAL

and of course raphael!!! raphael gets them all flowers. he is that guy. absolutely. he likes to Court. personalized bouquet arrangements he puts a lot of thought into, honestly. i mean of course with meliorn there’s flower language for even for maia and simon he just... he likes to pick something that he thinks suits/represents them even if he’s just going by Vibe. he is that guy who gets them flowers and gets behind them and shows them the petals and shit and like

for maia i’m picturing daylilies so he’s just... he gets behind her and she’s already touching the petals delicately kind of in awe because daylilies are pretty and he’s like “see this? they are fiery. vibrant. intense, but delicate. like you” and she smiles and he goes, “but you know what i like the most about daylilies? they attract butterflies.” and he pauses as she turns around to look at him, surprised, and he smiles at her before taking a breath and going, “you see, daylilies, they are beautiful, and they spread that beauty around. they grow together, and they help all the other flowers around them. they build a family. they care for others. just like you do. everywhere you go, you make things better, and maybe you don’t even realize it” because LOOK im a sap and hes a sap and maia has seen herself as lonely most of her life but the way she cares for her pack and everyone she sees who’s struggling is fierce and beautiful and i just!! it really suits her!! and maia is speechless and she ends up kind of nuzzling his neck and giving him a little kiss on the cheek and he’s like “i take it you like it” and she goes “of course i liked it” and aaa

and for simon... i picture sunflowers. idk i just think simon is a sunflower kinda guy. also you know haha daylighter and shit. but really tho it’s an intense attention-calling sort of flower without meaning to, but it’s also beautiful and vibrant and livens up the place, and it also has a delicate, kind of lonely side? like idk you don’t see sunflower bouquets a lot, usually it’s a single sunflower. and the literal Dark Part you know the black part in the centre that’s swallowed up by the vibrant yellow and that people tend to ignore but that’s also there? not in the sense that simon has a Dark Side, but he hides his sorrows and there’s so much more depth to him. i also like to picture he says something like... “you know, the sunflower turns during the day, trying to always keep close to the sun. but i don’t think it realizes that it has so much beauty of its own” and simon is so very pleased and a little speechless and raphael smiles at him and teases him all like “oh, so now you have nothing to say?”

but he gets his revenge when HE gets RAPHAEL flowers cuz no i didn’t forget!! and i know i wrote that paragraph but i like to think that the first time simon got raphael flowers, that had never been mentioned before and it was a complete surprise. that time was afterwards and he was just teasing him (and maybe fishing to get more flowers because look he’s only human). but the FIRST time they weren’t dating but they were.... getting there and simon was like “HOW can i woo raphael” and everyone else is like “stop saying woo for starters” and simon is like “whatever meliorn how did you woo raphael” and meliorn tells him about the whole flower language thing and how he used that to ask raphael out and simon is like FLOWERS! GREAT! and essentially runs off to get raphael some

so next time him and raphael have a not-date simon shows up with this probably massive and very extra bouquet with many many kinds of flowers and raphael’s eyes widen absurdly and he’s like “simon, what is this?” and simon’s all like “flowers! i didn’t know which flowers you liked, so i just got a bunch, i guess.” and he starts rambling about all the kinds of flowers that he got and their names and why he thought they might like it and is all like “but then i thought, maybe he’d be more into something smaller, so i figured i’d also get-” and raphael interrupts him all like “simon. what is this?” and simon stops for a second like he’s almost panicking and raphael softens all like “i like them all. i just want to understand” and he’s softly touching the petals because this is only the second time in his life that someone got him flowers and for meliorn it had slightly different connotations as it was a cultural thing - not that it’s less special or meaningful, just like, different - and he has this little bashful smile and he’s so pleased and simon kind of goes “i wanted to ask you to go out with me” y’know and it’s SWEET okay aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i can’t BELIEVE i’m saphael trash

in short THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS ASK

[khunvegas]

Tagged by @qpraphael  💖

20 First Lines and you just copy the first lines of your most recent stories. Bonus: Look for a pattern.

So, let’s see, I have 24 works so far, so that should work. A mix  between Malec and Saphael.

1. “In retrospective, Magnus should have thought this through. Mixing his life with a demon wasn’t the best idea one could have and agreeing to some kind of deal that involved sex was foolish at best but Magnus didn’t care. He just wanted this.” From my angel!Magnus, demon!Alec ongoing series. (Is it desire?)

2. “Raphael looked around him, the pleased and content faces of the people of New York, the bustling of energy and determination knowing they were doing something good tonight. It was going to get colder tonight and while Raphael couldn't shelter for all of them, at least he could do this: provide food for the nights to come.” This one was before 2x17, about that Saphael sneak peak when they were talking in the shelter (?) with my own twists. (Unspeakable truth) 

3. “Magnus slammed against the wall, hands immediately on his hips, not letting him move.” Same series I said before, also kinda love how I started this one, not gonna lie. (There’s no way)

4. “Angels. Heavenly creatures that have one purpose and one purpose only and it's to keep peace on earth, keep an eye on the humans. Maintain the balance between good and bad, keep the darkness at bay and always one step ahead to prevent any trouble.” The first one on that on going series, which I don’t know how to end, honestly. (Perfectly wrong)

5. “Magnus would forever regret this decision for the rest of his immortal life. Being an angel didn’t give him enough time to regret about his decisions, since he had to keep an eye on every mortal on earth because Father was bored all those years ago and come up with the amazing idea to make these breakable bodies and insufferable attitudes.” And this is, originally, the first one-shot I wrote for the series, even thought I didn’t know it would turn out to be one. (Blurred Lines) 

6. “As much as Alec liked being back to work, getting knees-deep on the whole Clary-missing situation and a greater demon on the loose, there was only one person on his mind. Magnus.” I wrote this even before this half season started, basing it on the sneak peak we had back in december, about Magnus losing his magic. (I’m here for you) 

7. “Simon wasn’t known for his great ideas. In fact, those were scarce in the midst of the bad ones. Probably, the worst one was to follow Clary to the end of the world (meaning the downworld) and consequently turned to a vampire and the kicker was that he couldn’t go back. No, it wasn’t one of those things that could disappear once you figure out how to fix it” A Saphael one, where I pour all my bitterness on how they were treated and how Simon treated Raphael, specifically. Hard and cold truths, my kind of thing. (I had you)  

8. “In a world where beautiful people were paired with more beautiful people, there was Simon who still was working out the tricks and whatnot of a relationship.” Another Saphael one, a prompt really. I think this was a meet-cute in the AU *universe* and that I turned it into a series too. Also, Salec brotp vibes in this one (You and me, how that sounds?) 

9. “Magnus Bane’s life was good, really good. He lived in a comfortable apartment in Brooklyn, a job that gave him the opportunity to have every luxury he could have ever wanted. Really, it’s a good life. Except, he didn’t have someone to share that life with. But he wasn’t complaining because, while he couldn’t have that romantic life for himself, he could help others to find it.” The love of my life, my baby, the story I’m so proud of. My first WIP that wouldn’t be finished if it wasn’t for my beta ( @wewalkadifferentpath babe what’s good). This one is based from a movie that I liked so much I turned it into Malec and Saphael. (Can you find me someone to love?) 

10. “Four years ago, Alec was happily searching for a hook up, not a care in the world if someone described him as a playboy because in truth, he was one and he was unapologetic about it. Alec wasn’t one to regret his past, of course not, it was part of him, but he had changed ever since he met Magnus at the Mad Hatter party.“ A study in fic where Alec has no chill but also wants to make his wedding as perfect as he can with the love of his life. Part of the AU series (Keep me forever).

11. “Whoever said that being single it was a way to find yourself, find new hobbies, meet new people, have fun and whatever shit, they were a big fat liar. Being single was sad and dare Simon say, miserable.” Another Saphael one with the whole gang on the side (Mind if I call you boyfriend?) 

12. “There was something so calming, so relaxing when it came to the beach. Magnus didn’t like swimming, but staring and letting the wind mess up his hair and bringing his body at ease? Sign him up.” Malec. Thirst all around (Hotter than hell)  

13. “If someone were to say that Simon would end up being a vampire and head over heels for another no-nonsense attitude vampire, Simon would say that this person had spent a lot of time reading YA novels because he was going to be an accountant and get his shit together and ask Clary out.“ The longest one-shot I ever written and this one is based from a bunch of headcanons, after season 3A. This is mainly Saphael, fluff and happiness all around, what they deserve. (One Big Happy Family) 

14. “Magnus came to the conclusion that senior year could be the same thing as previous years or he could make this year his bitch, because why the hell not? It was his last year.“ A high school AU, a funny one because I can’t do serious stuff. Based only from one line “too tall to be gay” from another story- credits given of course (#TooTallToBeGay) 

15. “"So, I told him 'listen, if you think this is too much, you better leave'" Magnus took a sip from his milkshake, "you know what this douchebag did? He left!"” *ahem* This one is a bunch of all my guilty pleasures in one with comedy on the side and UST vibes. Like, I don’t even follow people that likes this stuff- that I’m aware of- but it’s there, it’s good. I like how it ended and people liked it too, so there’s that. (X2CU)  

16. “In all honestly, Alec loved working as a barista and while a lot of customers could be a pain in his ass, there were some that had lighten up his days and those tranquil moments where the coffee shop was quiet, he would stand there and just enjoy the smell of freshly brewed coffee. Black coffee with a lot of sugar was his weakness.“ A meet-cute sort of thing, barista!Alec, lawyer!Magnus. No chill whatsoever (Large frappuccino for the cutest guy on sight)

17. “"Again? Simon, this is the fifth time we come to this cafe. The coffee is not that good" Magnus complained, turning to look at Simon with his arms crossed and a raised eyebrow.“ Another Saphael one, a cute one I’ll tell you. (Boy’s Got Game) 

18. ““Honey, I’m home!”“ That’s it, that’s the fic. Mainly Saphael, because I’m still trash for them (Their little “gang”) 

19. ““Jace, how many times do I have to tell you I’m fine? I don’t need to date someone.”“ A single parent!Alec AU with Magnus as Rafael’s teacher. Cuteness Alert (I should thank your son)

20. ““Seriously, Ragnor, I must be cursed because how the hell this guy have the nerve to break up with me?” Magnus asked while bringing a glass of white wine to his mouth.” I would say that this is a Malec meet-ugly, Alec as a waiter but it has a happy ending (How do you feel about marriage?) 

I think everyone did this already but let’s see @katychan666 @lesbarton @measurelessdreamer @castleoffandoms @thesorrowoflizards @wewalkadifferentpath @raphaelxantiago @octoberdecemberwrites @kinkymagnus

[just-an-anxious-mess]

Rejection (Part 3)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4

Logans eyelids fluttered open and he realised he was laying on someones lap.

He sat up, ignoring the person asking how he was. He thought it was a stupid question if they knew what had happened. Of course he wasn't OK.

Unless they too thought him emotionally stunted?

His chest ached painfully as once again Romans harsh words echoed in his mind.

He was just an annoyance. A boring annoyance with an inability to feel emotions properly.

He put his head in his hands, his hands tightening into fists in his hair. He did still feel things but the pain was almost unbearable and for once he wished he couldn't feel at all.

It would solve so many issues if he could just turn the stupid feelings off.

Logan jumped as someone rested their hand on his shoulder and he met the eyes of Virgil.

"Logan, everything Roman said is wrong. You're not boring or emotionally stunted or an annoyance." he said and Logan stared at him in disbelief.

"Virgils right, you're intelligent and interesting and we're lucky to have you." A voice from slightly behind him said and he turned and realised the person who's lap he'd been laying in was Patton.

Logan didn't know how to respond to either of them and he probably would have just lapsed into an awkward silence if he didn't spot Deceit.

Seeing Deceit made Logan look around, taking in his surroundings and coming to the conclusion he was in the other mindspace.

If Logan was in the other mindspace then that meant there was a certain trait who might be able to help him.

"D... Deceit." Logan managed to croak out, making everyone wince sympathetically. "I want to talk to someone."

Deceit smirked and replied "But you already are talking to someone."

"Deceit, now is not the time for joking around and messing with him." Patton scolded, making Deceit sigh and adopt a more serious expression.

"Who did you want to talk to and why?"

"I... I want to talk to Apathy. I don't want to h...h...hurt like this anym...anymore." Logans voice shook as fresh tears fell down his face.

Patton looked slightly confused while Virgil and Deceit exchanged concerned looks.

"Logan, are you sure?" Deceit asked and Logan nodded adamantly.

"I.... I'll go fetch him then." Deceit shook his head as he walked off into the darkness and Virgil sat down next to Patton and Logan, trying to push away the worry and slight fear he felt from being back in the 'dark' mindspace again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Deceit walked through the dark corridors until he reached a specific door. Before he could knock the door opened and a figure appeared, rage all over his face.

"What are you looking at Deceit? Come to get all buddy buddy with Apathy? Well he's all yours! Both of you can go to fucking hell!" growled the trait who shoved past Deceit and stormed off down the corridor.

Deceit looked back into the room and saw Apathy shaking his head.

"What just happened? Did you take away his lighter again or something?" Deceit asked.

"No he's just.... Him. He assumed things that were completely incorrect and obviously didn't like that he was wrong. He truly lives up to his name of Irrationality." Apathy said in his usual blank, emotionless voice.

"You can say that again, I still haven't forgotten when he set his room on fire because he thought it'd look pretty. Although I'm pretty sure it might have been because he saw a spider but either way that was difficult to clean up." Deceit said, staring down the corridor in the direction the crazy trait had gone.

"Enough mindless chatter, what did you require from me? You hardly do social calls anymore since you're usually bothering the main traits these days."

Deceit sighed. "There's been a lot of drama in the main mindspace recently and one of the main traits actually requested to talk to you. He... He was completely screwed over by one of the others and is pretty much emotionally broken and wishes not to feel anything anymore. I don't think it's the right solution but I said I would fetch you so here I am."

Apathy seemed to think deeply about what Deceit had said and then made a decision. "Which trait is it?"

"Logic, it was Creativity that caused everything." Deceit said.

"Logic and Creativity, not two traits that I would predict to interact much for any sort of argument between them to be emotionally damaging to either one." Apathy said as Deceit lead the way to the others.

"Logic loved Creativity but Creativity didn't feel the same. Instead he verbally ripped Logic apart and Logic ran until he ended up here." Deceit explained.

Apathy stopped with a small frown. "Creativity ripped him apart verbally? From what I know of that Disney Prince wannabe it seems more likely he'd attack physically in that sort of situation, anything from a small shove to full on throwing Logic into a wall or something. Plus I would have thought he'd be flattered someone saw him in that light, he's the most likely out of all the traits to randomly kiss another trait just because he thought they were his reflection or something."

Deceit let out a snort of laughter at Apathys last comment. "Well it'd be difficult for him to mistake someone for his reflection now, Pat... I mean Morality punched him in the face and broke his nose."

Apathy looked at Deceit with slightly narrowed eyes for a second before starting to walk again, making Deceit shudder.

He needed to be a little more aware of what he said because Apathy hated it when Deceit used the main traits real names. Apparently it made him sound too familiar with them and it got on Apathys nerves.

Three traits sitting on the floor came into view and Apathy took in Logic and Morality, not very surprised. It was when Apathys eyes locked onto the darker trait that the atmosphere changed.

"Virgil. What an unpleasant surprise to see you here, I'm quite sure I remembered you swearing to never return but here you are."

"Fuck off Apathy! I'm here helping Logan and that's it." Virgil growled, getting to his feet.

"wow, look at this brand new attitude. Where did timid little Anxiety go? You're little act might fool everyone else but we both know deep down you're still that scared little trait who cowered everytime someone looked at him funny."

Apathy had stepped forward so him and Virgil were in each others faces.

"That's not who I am anymore." Virgil muttered, glaring right back at Apathy.

"Oh really? What if I said Irrationality was going to turn up?"

Virgils eyes widened in alarm that was difficult to miss. "He... He's not." Virgil stumbled over his words and took a step back.

Apathys lips twitched up into a smug little smirk before he turned to the trait who'd requested his presence.

"Now explain what you wanted."

Logans eyes briefly flickered to Virgil, who was running himself through a breathing exercise and cursing Apathy under his breath, before they locked onto Apathy.

"I don't want to feel like this anymore. I want you to make it all disappear." he said in a hoarse voice, almost too quiet to hear.

"You do realise that if I do this it won't just take the pain and sadness, it'll take any joy or happiness as well. You'll be completely devoid of emotion and even the simplest of things will fail to make you feel. It's also completely irreversible. You're Logic so think it over before making a rash decision." Apathy explained, his voice quieter as he said the last part, in an attempt to come across less harsh.

Patton had got to his feet, his eyes narrowed at Apathy the entire time, unable to prevent himself feeling protective over the others.

"Morality there's no need to glare at me like that, I'm not going to hurt anyone, that's Irrationalitys thing. I'm not sadistic."

"Says who." Virgil mumbled with a glare, making Deceit face palm.

"Virgil, please don't bring that up again, you know we had no idea what was going on and when we did find out Apathy sorted things."

Virgil sighed "I'm sorry Dee, it's just that a certain someone decided to bring it up first to try and humiliate me."

"I didn't bring it up to humiliate you, I brought it up to prove a point. No matter how much you try to pretend you're strong, you can't change who you really are. No one can force themselves to change so drastically." Apathy stated.

Virgil could feel the curious gazes of Patton and Logan on him so he quickly changed the subject before they asked what they were talking about.

"Moral... Whoops... Patton punched Roman in the nose." Virgil said, shaking his head as he stumbled over his words.

Apathy raised an eyebrow in amusement. "So I heard, well done Morality I think that's something everyone's been tempted to do at least once but you're the first to actually do it."

"He hurt Logan, I lost my temper and that's all there is to it" Patton said, his eyes still narrowed at Apathy.

"plus he can be a bit of an arrogant pri....nce. Yep that's definitely what I was going to say. Arrogant prince." Deceit said, avoiding Pattons stern look.

Suddenly Logan, Patton and Virgil let out matching gasps of shock as they felt a rather desperate summons from Thomas.

"Logan are you capable of coming with us? It seems urgent." Virgil asked and Logan nodded reluctantly.

"I... I'll give it a go." he muttered and the three of them vanished leaving Apathy and Deceit alone in the dark mindspace.

General tag list:@amethystdarkwolf @mcfreakin-childproof-caps @patchworkofstars @kitkat-doodles @unikornavenger @dolphin-squirrel @sympathetic-deceit-trash @starryfirefliesbloggo @cakercanart @neonb-fly @kaymischief25 @punsterterry @aprilthevene @theoddkidnextdoor @fuckingemoace @i-sold-my-soul-to-thefandom @im-so-infinitesimal @sea-blue-child @thecatchat @iris-sanders-athena @saphael-malec102 @smedenn @corkeecoderyt @sopi-montezzz @illogicaldeath @deadpanstar @theanxiousfander @lesliealiceinwonderland @wicked-universe @anxious-is-the-name @a-black-pegasus @erlenmeyertrashofsandersides @ace-the-weekly-doodler @luarpice @novusavis @the-life-ofa-troubled-ace @heck-im-lost @nerdy-as-heck @pansexual-cat @ravens-rambling @echomist13 @myownhappilyeverafter @im-a-sexy-mouse @xx-fandom-potato-xx

Rejection tag list:

@ibelievewhatsontv @anxiouslogan24

[i-just-love-writing-crap]

Catching Murphy, Part 12

Warnings: Swearing, possible nsfw content Word Count: 8124 (seriously stop letting me write this ish) Summary: You, Miss (y/n) (y/l/n), had a crush on Connor Murphy for years, from a distance of course. You had always been too shy to approach him, and the fact around school that he was an aggressive stoner caused you to become even more shy. One day, in history class, your teacher decided to assign a project and assigned everyone a partner—you and Connor were partnered together. Could you two grow close during the project and remain close? Or will Connor go back to ignoring you after the project comes to a close? A/N: I apologize if Connor is a biiiiit OOC… ;-; Obviously takes place in an AU where Connor is alive. Oh hey look it’s my masterlist, tah-dah Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 TAGS: @saturdayschilddrivesmewild @defenestrate-yourself-please @philyylester @marvel-imagines-yes-please @cucumberinmyass @arsonboirich @sunshinesips @cozykleinman @jaredstrashcan @glowingsaphaelruby @saphael

You were sitting there, in the backseat of your mom’s car, holding your now painfully obvious broken wrist. How the fuck do I slam my wrist so hard into a door frame it breaks, you think sourly to yourself. Right, because I’m an idiot. Flailing my arms like that, what’d I expect? To not hurt myself?! Way to start off your first day dating Connor, (y/n). Bang-up job, smashing success. Literally. Lost in your thoughts, you squeezed your broken wrist tightly and the sharp pain pulled you from your thoughts. “Ouch… what the fuck,” you grumbled to yourself, wondering why your broken wrist had a sharp pain. When you looked down and saw the tight grip your right hand had on it, a wince erupted from your throat then you pulled away, letting the swollen, broken wrist gently fall to your lap.

Connor looked over to you and saw the way you were looking out of the car window. He reached over and touched your thigh, causing you to jump while your orbs shot to his face. The frenzied look behind your eyes made his normally hardened gaze go soft as he asked in a quiet, gentle tone, “What’s wrong, (y/n)?”

“I, I… I just…” you stammered, nearly silently, before a sigh passed your lips and you tore the frenzied (e/c) gaze from Connor away to the window—eyes almost bitter as you watched the landscape roll by. After a moment of silence, you continued in the same near silent voice, “…I just am an utter fuck-up…”

“What in the hell has you saying that, dork?” he asked, hand stroking your clothed thigh comfortingly. Although you were in obvious pain and discomfort at the brokenness of your wrist, Connor had not wanted you to be in any more distress.

You groaned softly and almost in self-anger, and truthfully that was hitting the nail on the head: you were mad at yourself for breaking your wrist. With yet another soft sigh, came the answer, “I just fucking broke my wrist on the day we started dating, Con. Literally not even twenty minutes had we been official and I show you how d-dumb I can be. I, I mean… flailing my arms in the air, really? I’m just a dumb kid…” The way your anger-filled voice petered out was almost pathetic if you hadn’t been so filled with worry, which made Connor shake his head at you.

Connor laughed at your needless worry. Just because you had an accident as a result of being incredibly happy was not enough to warrant calling you a dumb kid. “Fuck, (y/n), you are—really and truly—a dork. I don’t think you’re a dumb kid, (y/n/n). Me? Now, I’m a dumb kid, and you’re far from it. So what if you broke your wrist? It was a damn accident and those fucking happen. But more importantly, it’s not going to change how I’m starting to feel for you,” he said softly. His lips curled into a small, brief smile as he continued to stroke your thigh.

(E/c) eyes looking back at the long-haired stoner, your face began to redden at his words. “C-Con? Are you serious? Al-also, you’re not a dumb kid,” you whispered.

His hand was lifted away from you thigh and you truthfully silently whined at the loss of the comforting warmth of his hand. You were surprised when Connor took your right hand in his left as he said with a nod, “I am serious, dork.” He scoffed and answered the second half of your words, “And, I most definitely am a fucking dumb kid, (y/n). Remember my story behind of my scars? That’s pretty dumb if I fucking say so.”

When you opened your mouth to answer him, your mother’s voice rang throughout the car: “We’re here! Come on, honey.”

Connor reluctantly let go of your hand so you two could get out of the car. He could see how very nervous you seemed, so once he closed his door, Connor walked over to you and grabbed your hand. “Don’t be so fucking nervous, dork,” he spoke into your ear as you two followed behind your parents.

You chuckled nervously at his words and almost glared at him, because saying that was like if you told him not to get a boner when you talked about sucking his cock or getting yourself off. It was easy in theory, hard in practice. “That, that…” you sighed gently and collected your nerve-wracked thoughts before continuing, “…that’s easier said than d-done. C-Con… this is the first time I’ve broken a bone!”

“And you’re damn lucky that you only broke your wrist! I know somebody who broke, fuck, more like shattered, her upper arm and elbow. So, I would say that you’re pretty fucking lucky,” Connor said in an attempt to try soothing your nerves.

However, his words seemingly had the adverse effect, as you noticeably jolted at those words. A horror-filled expression crossed your face as you turned to Connor, a dropped jaw signaling your silent plea for him to say he was kidding. When he had not taken his words back or said he was joking, instead only able to stare at you with blue-green eyes that filled with dread as he acknowledged his fuck up, a strangled horrified groan fell from you. You blinked slowly at his words that had not been taken back, mouth still agape as you asked fearfully, “Y-you do!? She did!? How?!”

Connor laughed and held the door open for you (because even though he was an aggressive stoner, he was polite to certain people; and by certain people, that meant you and only you). As you entered the doctor’s office, Connor followed behind you. Seeing absolutely no way out of not continuing what he started, Connor continued: “Well, she was, and still is, a friend of mine that I made back in the summer before freshman year. We were hiking, because fuck you, I like that shit, and while we were climbing this puny cliff—the idiot fell. She tumbled down the shitty little cliff, and claimed she heard something snap like a twig.”

“And what did you do?” you asked, looking at him with a concerned look in your eyes, the fear from a moment ago seemingly having been replaced in an instant. “Please tell me you immediately helped her! Please, for the love of all that is GREEN, tell me you helped your friend and didn’t leave her hanging and in pain, Connor!”

Rubbing his neck, Connor answered you, “Well, not exactly… at first I fucking laughed. She is known for being so damn overdramatic, so I thought she was just joking to get a reaction from my ass…”

You gasped at his words, sitting down in an empty seat as your parents informed the lady behind the desk why you had been brought in, saying it was urgent. “Connor Murphy! That is terrible! How dare you not believe her!” you exclaimed, throwing your good arm into the air, “She fell down a cliff!!!”

“Look, like I just fucking said, dork: she is notorious for being really overdramatic just to rouse a reaction out of everyone! And her dad is kinda over-fucking-dramatic, too, so I’m guessing she got that shit gene from him. Trust me, (y/n), when she started rolling around, holding her left arm and saying shit like ‘goddammit’ and ‘shit, this fucking shit hurts like hell’ and ‘Murphy, I’m fucking serious, I can’t feel my goddamn arm!’ I knew she wasn’t faking and I helped her ass out,” he said, voice holding a certain hard edge. A how dare you patronize me for not helping her, she’s overdramatic kind of edge to it.

You crossed your arms over your chest, being careful of your broken wrist. “Yeah, and? You shoulda helped her out before she said that, jackass, drama queen or not!” you exclaimed.

That was when your parents came to sit with you and Connor. “You should be next up, honey. We told them that you’d broken your wrist and needed to see the doctor as soon as possible,” your mom said to you.

As you glanced over at your mom, you smiled and said, “Ok. Thanks, mom. Sorry again that I broke my wrist.”

“It’s fine, honey. What were you and Connor talking about, pumpkin?” she asked.

You laughed and answered her, “Oh? We were just talking about how Con knows someone who shattered her upper arm and elbow. Back on that, what happened to her?”

Connor looked at you and sighed, continuing his story: “Well, first we had to hike all the way back to my hell-hole of a house, and when we got there we told my mom what happened, and she of course freaked out and drove my friend home. The next day or so, my friend went to the doctor and he said that she’d need to have surgery, but he unfortunately couldn’t do the damn surgery. So, my idiot friend needed a trauma doctor to do the surgery, that’s how bad she fuuuu—” he caught himself and corrected his language, not wanting to say fuck in front of your parents anymore, “—dged up,” he coughed. “Err… that’s how bad she, in her own terms, ‘fudged up’ her arm.” Connor used air-quotes.

Cordelia gasped, covering her mouth, “That’s terrible, Connor.”

He scoffed and resumed, regaining his previous cocky tone: “Oh, no, it gets worse. My parents are filthy rich so my mom offered to pay for my friend’s entire medical expenses because she, being the absolute joy of a mother that she is, accused me of pushing my friend down to purposely break her arm. Which is total bullcrap, because my friend had never treated me like the disease my family was starting to treat me as, and they still treat me like a damn biohazard. Therefore, since she treated me like an actual human being, I could never nor would I ever hurt her like that. And of course my friend denied and still denies that I pushed her because… damn it, I didn’t push her!”

George crossed his arms over his chest at Connor’s rather unsettling words. What kind of parents actually blamed their child for an obvious hiking accident? “Now that’s just not right. Your parents blaming you for her injury. That’s as dumb as all get out,” he said.

Yet again, Connor scoffed and agreed with your dad. “Right? They think that just because I get angry at them for treating me like shit that I’d take out my anger by hurting a really damn good friend of mine.” He rolled his eyes and kind of growled low in his throat. His parents did not sound like the best ones out there. “Anyways, besides the point, she had her surgery and I would walk to the hospital everyday to make sure she was doing okay and to keep her company. When she got out of the hospital, I helped her for the rest of the damn summer; walked her to physical therapy, helped her strengthen her arm again… I tried my damnedest for her, since I did feel bad because we were hiking on my account because I was bored around my shitty house…” he said, you could hear the obvious regret in his voice.

Both you and your mom’s eyes softened as you looked at him. “Oh, Connor, honey… that was so nice of you to do. I’m sure she appreciated it immensely,” your mom said with a gentle smile.

Connor laughed mirthlessly, “Yeah… she really freaking did, I can tell you that.”

“What was, errr, is… her name?” your dad asked.

“Rachel. She moved away at the end of freshman year and truthfully… I really freaking miss her,” Connor sighed.

You laughed, trying to lighten your boyfriend’s obviously sullen mood. “I’m sorry, Con… but hey… at least you have me now, right? And hey, I’ve broken a bone now, too! I’m no replacement, nor do I want to replace her! But, hey, I’m here for you!! And you can help nurse me back to health if you wanna!”

Connor casted his blue-green gaze toward you and smiled briefly at you. “Yeah, I suppose you have a damn point. And, believe me, it’s hard to replace Rachel… she’s too crazy to replace, you know? And, I appreciate that you’re here for me, you twerp,” he said, laughing quietly.

“Yeah… I do know, Con. There’s no replacing Alexa or Kayley… if they ever moved. So yeah, I—” you were cut off.

“Miss (y/n) (y/l/n)?” a young male nurse said. Your head perked up and you quickly stood up, shuffling toward him. The young, probably around 24 years old, saw you and said with an attractive smirk (which is fine because you’re 18 now so fuck it), “Come on, Doctor Jones will see you now. Follow me to your room.”

You nodded and everyone followed after you as you followed the nurse. With the way he was looking at you, you felt yourself shrink in embarrassment and you twirled a lock of hair around your index finger. “Thank you, sir,” you said in a very shy voice.

Reaching a room, the nurse opened the door and you walked in, thanking him for opening the door. He smiled. “Oh, you’re welcome, cutie,” he said, obviously flirting with you now. You weren’t going to lie, the young twenty-something year old was attractive and seemingly a nice guy (while you were less than average at best), so him flirting with you made you blush. “Okay, cutie-pie, I need to check that wrist you think you broke.”

With a heavy blush, and sitting on the examination area, you handed the attractive male nurse your broken wrist. “Here, ummm, here you are, sir…” you stuttered.

Connor growled as the nurse took your wrist into his hand. The stoner wanted to punch the young man in the jaw as he watched the nurse look at your wrist, treating you like a porcelain doll. Connor noticed the look in the young nurse’s eyes as he looked up your face, watching your face contort in pain. Motherfucker better stop looking at my dork before I punch the living daylights out of the prick, he thought to himself. He was brought out of his thoughts when he heard you moan. Connor did not, nor in his agitated mental state could he, distinguish the pain in your moan—all he heard was the moan that fell from your lips. The fire in his eyes signaled he was so, utterly ready to punch this nurse in both the face and crotch.

In his mind’s eye, for some reason or another, Connor saw the nurse kissing you and he nearly snarled dangerously out loud. All the stoner got as a response, in his mind, was a chuckle from the male nurse as he pressed himself closer to you, being careful of your wrist. Your boyfriend saw the nurse deepen the kiss while also pulling your body closer to his, grinding your hips together and genuinely was about to snap. Connor wanted to kill this nurse, how dare he be so unprofessional and grind against his patient, let alone Connor’s girl. “Don’t you have a fucking job to be doing…” the long-haired young man snarled almost silently.

Cordelia heard Connor and understood what was likely happening, whispering to him, “Honey, he is doing his job. He just had to test out if it was really tender or not. It was… he took her to get x-rays done.”

Your boyfriend snapped out of his evil, tricking mind-scape. “Huh? How long have they been gone?” he asked.

“About four or five minutes,” your mom answered.

Almost as if on cue, the door was opened and the male nurse said, watching your body move as you entered the room, “We’re back. Now, give us just a moment, cutie. We’ll review the x-rays and determine how badly your wrist is broken—if at all. Because, like I told you, it could just be a severe sprain.”

You smiled a shy, blushy smile and, tucking a lock of you (h/c) hair behind your ear, spoke, “Thank you, Jason.”

Connor gripped his leg tightly at you calling the nurse by his name. He was so damn possessive of you and he had no clue why—you two had just started dating and he was already so possessive of you. Connor had even been so incredibly possessive of you even before you two started dating. What the hell was up with that? He always found himself wondering that, and it made him question how the fuck he could grow so attracted to anyone in just a few days. Literally, it had only been four or less and there he was, absolutely smitten with you and dating you after such a short time of knowing you. However, his mind veered way off topic: the topic of you calling the male nurse—who was obviously and shamelessly flirting with you—by his first name.

Oh, and you knew how pissed Connor was. You were just being a little bitch and was milking this sudden jealousy displayed by your boyfriend. Giggling, the back of your mind questioned where the hell this devious side of you came from? Literally a few days ago you wouldn’t have been able to look at Connor Murphy without getting flustered and ending up stuttering like an idiot. Now look at you, you were now dating your crush of six years, and suddenly you’ve stopped being a mess of blushes around him? Your brain tried to rationalize the sudden behavioral change.

Well, honestly, this was how you truly were. You were a very devious and mischievous individual, you just got very shy around males for some reason or another. Alexa could attest to that, she’s said many many times how mischievous you were; mostly she told her new friends this seeing as she was your number one best friend, who was practically a sister (so all of Alexa’s new friends were introduced to you and your family). When your mind was reminded of that, it immediately retracted the questioning and let you go on your way.

With your gaze transfixed on the obviously agitated Connor, you asked innocently, “Connor? Are you okay?”

His angered blue-green gaze snapped to your oh-so innocent one; the utter irritation and possessiveness in his eyes made you gasp and cover your mouth. You also had to bite back a whispery giggle, you were so bad! Through gritted teeth, he spoke in almost a growl, “Yeah… I’m just peachy, dork.”

“Are you sure, honey? Because you sound a bit off,” your mother spoke, looking at the stoner almost worriedly.

Casting his gaze to your mother, Connor forced a small smile and said, “Sorry for seeming a bit off, I guess I’m just really freaking tired.”

Cordelia looked at you, then looked back at Connor for a few moments before she laughed, “Oh! I’m sorry, honey! Did (y/n) wear you out? Because she’s a bit of a wild one! Especially behind closed doors!”

“MOTHER!” you exclaimed, choking on your spit. If you had been standing, those words would have caused you to fall over out of sheer shock. A warmth flooded your face at your mother’s words. Even though you knew she meant nothing by them, the weight of what you have actually done with (and to) Connor behind closed doors was enough to embarrass you. Not that your parents knew, nor would they know unless they absolutely needed to know—like you wanting to get on birth control or something. And that was something which was likely not to happen, because like hell would Connor want to actually have sex with you; you were probably just a passing fancy for him before the end of high school.

Momentarily, you retreated into your thoughts. What if that was all you were to Connor, your crush of six years? What if you were just a passing fancy? What if that was all this relationship turned out to be, would you be able to just laugh it off? What if, after he broke up with you, you neither could nor would be able to put on an act and pretend you weren’t crushed on the inside? Those were jarring questions that your mind desperately wanted answers to. You shook those thoughts out of your head; being brought further out of your head as George choked out, “Cordelia!!”

“What?! I only meant it in that she’s different when she’s not in public! Geez, Georgie! Why’d you twist it in that way!” Cordelia exclaimed, throwing her arms into the air. “Both you and (y/n) took it that way! Damn, I’m sure even Connor’s mind probably went there, too!!”

Connor scoffed in amusement, crossing his arms; with a smirk directed at you, he spoke, “Yeah… this dork wore me out… entirely. She’s such a different person behind closed doors, and wow! She’s a damn beast.”

“Con-Connor Murphy!!” you exclaimed, again choking on your spit. Being sent into a coughing fit, you gently pounded your right balled up fist against your chest. Neither you nor your parents could believe that he said that, although your mom and dad knew nothing about how you acted with Connor behind closed doors. “C-Connor! Oh my GOD,” you growled between heaving coughs.

Your mom and dad just gaped at Connor as they tried to seemingly comprehend in what way Connor meant. “Did she go on one of her Ancient Egypt tirades again? Because she can wear that subject out, and you along with it,” George spoke.

“Dad!” you exclaimed in almost embarrassment. “L-look! You know h-how much I love to, to, to talk about that subject! A-all you have to do is tell me to shut up and I will! Sorry, DAD!”

Connor laughed softly and said, “Don’t apologize, dork. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. It’s what you like and, shit, that passion is what drew me in to you, truthfully speaking here.”

“Our little historian drew you in because of her love of Ancient Egypt? Really?” Cordelia asked with a small gasping grin.

You blinked at Connor and spoke, “I mean, true… you do seem to like when I talk about Ancient Egypt, Con.”

George laughed, “Who knew our little historian would get a boyfriend, or girlfriend, because of her love of Ancient Egypt. We were certain she’d marry the memory of Ramesses the Great or some other ancient pharaoh.”

Blushing embarrassedly, you exclaimed in a pouty voice, “Daaaaaad!! Connor did NOT need to know that!! And I wouldn’t marry the memory of Ramesses the Great—I just respect him!”

Suddenly, there was knocking on the door. “Knock, knock,” called a doctor, he stuck his head into the room before entering. “Well,” he looked at you and continued, “Miss (y/n)?”

You nodded at him, answering him, “Yes, doctor?”

“Hello, I’m Doctor Macionis, and I’m filling in for your normal physician. Now, I have good news and some… not so good news. Which do you want first?” Doctor Macionis said with a gentle smile.

Humming thoughtfully, you contemplated what news you wanted first for a few brief moments. After maybe two minutes, you answered, “Bad news first, doc.”

His smile briefly flickered into a frown as he relayed the bad news, “Well, the bad news is that you did, indeed, break your wrist. You slammed your wrist into the doorframe with such force that you have a Colles’ fracture.” The doctor paused to let the bad news sink in, he watched as your face fell. With his gentle smile returning, Dr. Macionis continued, “The good news, however, is that the fracture did not affect your joint, which would have resulted in you needing surgery. Instead, all you need is a cast and you should be perfectly healed in a few weeks!”

“Oh… well, that’s good. Th-that I’ll only need a cast! Thanks, doctor,” you spoke, a tender smile curling across your lips.

The doctor smiled, still, and said, “Okay, well let me go get Jason and he will fix you up, then you’ll be ready to get out of here. You should come back in about six weeks so we can see if the fracture has healed enough for you to have the cast removed, or if you still need more time to heal. Okay?”

“Okay,” you chirped. Doctor Macionis nodded at your chirp and then proceeded to exit the room, going to search for the attractive young Jason. Once the door had closed, you looked at your parents and Connor. “Well then… how the hell did I mess up that bad,” you laughed nervously.

Connor scoffed softly, rolling his eyes at your words as he said, “Well, you were really excited, dweeb. It’s not like you meant for this to freaking happen.”

“Exactly, baby! Hey, at least you don’t need surgery,” your mother chuckled with a beaming smile.

You smiled, nodded and said, “Yeah, you have a point, momma. But damn it… now I’m gonna need help showering!”

Almost silently, Connor laughed as he eyed you, biting his lip subtly. You saw his look and wanted to immediately cover yourself, probably laugh nervously as you did so, because you knew he was undressing you with his eyes. You were incredibly thankful that you, Connor, and almost of your friends were eighteen (Kayley was just about to turn eighteen). For some reason, your once again retreated off into your mind as you thought about how much shit you and Connor would have to go through if neither of you weren’t eighteen, considering what happened at Kayley’s house party. The younger people at the party would have had a field day as they ridiculed, mocked and taunted you both to the point of driving both you and Connor absolute bat-shit insane. Those younger than you would have been the first to ridicule you two, despite they themselves not being any better—acting like they were inherently better than you both. When they most certainly were not.

Today was certainly a day in which you had been dazing off frequently, more so than ever before. Like before, you were brought out of your thoughts by someone’s voice: Connor’s voice, to be precise. He spoke with a low chuckle, echoing your previous words, “Yeah, you will be needing some help with taking a shower.”

Opening your mouth to answer, your mother beat you to it. She laughed out something that had you choking on the air, “Why don’t you help her, Connor?”

While you and your father choked on the air, Connor answered her, half-joking and half-serious, “I mean, hey, if you and George give me permission—most definitely. I won’t be opposed to that in any kind of way.”

“Oh my GOD!! Connor Murphy!!” you exclaimed, “There is NO way they’d even think about allowing that!!”

“Hell no I wouldn’t allow it,” your father voiced. He crossed his arms and continued, “You two haven’t been dating nearly long enough for that. No siree! I don’t think so!”

Your gaze shifted from Connor to your father, eyes widened as his words sank in. “Oh! OH! So, if we’d been dating for half a year to a year or more you would let him see me naked and help me shower?!” you asked, softly, in utter shock.

George looked at you and said, “Well, I wouldn’t particularly mind it… I wouldn’t really like it, but I wouldn’t try to clobber Connor. And I mean, teens will be teens and at that point, you know…” he shrugged and you knew what he meant, “and it’s not like me and your mother have hammered it into your head that you aren’t allowed to do that. Because, we don’t particularly mind what you do, just so long as you take care of yourself and your partner. Just make sure to use pro—”

“Dad! I do NOT think we need to have this conversation in a doctor’s office,” you cut him off. "But yes! I know you and mom don’t mind me doing my own thing, and that’s why you two are like, the coolest parents!”

It was after you said that that Jason popped his head into the room before he fully entered. “Okay, cutie pie, I have a question for you,” he said, hazel eyes looking at you with a soft smile.

“Hm? What is it, Jason?” you answered, looking back at the male nurse.

He grinned and asked, “Okay, well… what color do you wrapping do you want? Blue, purple, white, black, pink, camo…?”

You hummed in thought for a few moments before you spoke in a questioning way, “Do you have a dark red?”

Jason’s smile softened as he answered, eyes softening as well, “Yes! Of course we do, (y/n)! Let me go get the color and I’ll be back to put on your cast, cutie!”

Rolling your eyes as his incessant use of ‘cutie’, you laughed and with a small smile, thanked, “Thank you, Jason.”

Connor growled to himself almost silently. After growling to himself, he spoke lowly, but loud enough for the room to hear, and almost sneeringly, “Yeah, thanks for casting up my girlfriend, Jason.”

Jason’s hazel eyes looked at Connor and he smiled a brief, almost bitter smile, before he answered the long-haired boy’s sneer, “You’re welcome, sir. She’s a beauty and I want to make sure she’s in the best condition.”

You blushed at Jason’s words as he exited the room to get the materials. “He’s insufferable! Don’t let him get to you,” you mumbled, laughing embarrassedly.

“No… no, it’s okay, he’s right. I want you to be in the best damn condition so that I can love you; not that I won’t love you regardless, but while you’re in the cast, I won’t love you as… roughly as I could before,” Connor spoke and shot you a devilish smirk.

Your mouth dropped open as a silent gasp came out, your hand covered your mouth as your eyes also widened. “You did not just fucking say that,” you gasped through gritted teeth.

Connor snickered and said, “Oh? Little dork is using profanities in the presence of her parents? What will they say?”

“It’s nothing she hasn’t said before, Connor,” George said with a shrug.

Ignoring the second half of what Connor had said, your mother gasped, “Oh wow! That’s so sweet, Connor!” She clapped her hands together gleefully; she saw how much Connor already cared for you. And knowing how short the time was that you and him had known each other, Cordelia was actually at a loss for words—or what to feel, besides happy. You were happy that your crush finally knew of your feelings and accepted them, so she was very happy because of that; but she was also very happy to see that Connor genuinely cared about you, only having been talking to you for a few short days. “I can’t believe how you two act only knowing each other for a few days! I mean, it truly leaves me in awe.”

You groaned and covered your face, ��Moooooooom!! I-I mean, you’re right. It’s really strange how close we’ve seemingly gotten over the past several days. Not, not, not that I’m complaining!! Because, I’ve loved Connor for years, and now I’m dating him. S-so… I’m happy about it.”

Your words caused a wide grin to spread across your boyfriend’s face, a genuine grin. “You’re a fucking angel, (y/n/n)… and you’re an absolute dork,” he spoke in a certain tone that seemed sweet.

“Hey, at least I’m your dork now, Murphy,” you exclaimed. A wink followed your words along with a chuckle. Your eyes watched Connor’s expression go from impassive to almost loving in an instant.

With a small chuckle, Connor answered you, “Yeah, you do have a point. You are my dork now; and you’ve proven that very well with breaking your wrist.”

A gasp left your lips at his words, “Connor!!” Your face warmed up and the good hand went immediately to cover your face, a groan leaving your lips.

It was that moment that Jason came back into the room. “Ok, I’m back. Let’s cast up that wrist and get you out of here, cutie,” he spoke with a huge, sweet smile.

Immediately, you uncovered your flushed face, eyes flickered to Jason, who greeted you with a smile. Nodding, you spoke quickly, ready to have it done so you could leave, “Yes please. I don’t wanna bother you and take up any more of your time from helping others.”

“Whatever you say, cutie. Though, I honestly wouldn’t mind if you stayed around for awhile longer,” Jason spoke with a cute, attractive smile.

Your mother noticed that Jason was acting like he knew you from somewhere else than from this visit. The way he was talking was almost like he knew you personally, like the two of you were friends. Your mother knew that how often Jason was calling you cutie and cutie-pie that he had to have known you before now; and you knew something, she sensed it. Perhaps she would bring it up to you after your wrist was casted and you four went back home. Yes, she concluded, I’ll ask (y/n) about Jason in the car… he acts too familiar with her.

With a soft smile and right hand combing through your hair, you spoke in a meek voice, “Quit that, Jason. Just… fix my wrist, okay? I’m ready to leave.”

Jason chuckled and rolled his eyes playfully at you, walking over to you. “Ok, fine, miss. Now, hold out your left arm like this,” he spoke, showing you how to hold your arm. Once you did so, he started to put you in your short arm cast, starting with the padding that was slipped onto your arm before anything else.

As Jason worked, you felt Connor’s eyes boring into Jason—trying to set the nurse on fire, seemingly. From your perspective. A nearly silent chuckle left your lips as you watched Jason, which caused the aforementioned attractive young nurse to look up at you. His hazel eyes silently asking why you were chuckling so softly. Shaking your head, your eyes told him not to worry or question it. The shared look between you two, which lasted a solid twenty seconds, seemed to piss Connor off even more—you could just feel it as intense irritation and aggression (toward Jason) radiated off him. You were sure that had your parents not been there, Connor would have been all over you.

Once again, you retreated into your mind, time seemed to either stand still or move incredibly slow. You could not decide. In your mind, you already saw what Connor would do, no, you felt what he would do to you just to prove that you were his now and that Jason needed to back off. As you spaced off, you were unaware that your mind had taken over: all you knew was that one second your parents were in the room and the next second, following a blink, they were gone.

Now it was just you, Connor, and Jason in the small room; Connor’s displeasure at Jason’s flirting was now even more palpable than a second ago. His jaw was clenched, hands fisted the fabric of his jeans on each leg, fiery eyes flickered between you and Jason. As your gaze briefly met your boyfriend’s, your breath was stolen as the palpability of his discourse with the current situation. His eyes burned with the desire to make a claim, do something only he could do to you, right in front of Jason as well.

A shiver shot down your body, shaking you to the core. You had neither a single idea what was brewing in Connor’s mind nor when he would do it, all you knew was that it would be very intense. You witnessed the snap in Connor’s eyes as Jason said something flirty to you, saw how quickly the stoner shot out of his chair and marched over to where you were. Your brain worked quickly, emphasizing how rough Connor would be: a possessive and deep kiss, hands trailing down your body, possessively squeezing here and there. He growled something about you being his, only his, against your lips; his touches instantly had your mind reeling back to Kayley’s party, which sent yet another shiver down your spine. “J-Jesus Con…” you breathed out barely above a whisper, the only way you body knew how to respond.

The moment your whispery voice left your lips everything came crashing back as you were ripped from your daydream. The daydream you were actually unaware had bled into your vision. Connor’s distinct voice cut through the air, sounding harsher than normal, “Dork? (Y/n)…? Are you okay?”

It was his voice that fully brought you back. Blinking a few times, your parents were suddenly back. You softly shook your head before turning your dazed eyes to him. “M-me…? Wh-what…?” you stammered, confused like you had just been woken from sleep.

“Yeah you, dork. Are you okay?” he asked, looking at you with a concerned look. As he saw your confused gaze hone in on him, Connor’s look turned cold as he casted his eyes to Jason. “Is Jason hurting your wrist? Because he seems to be eyeing you more than doing his JOB,” he sneered, narrowing his eyes further.

Jason scoffed as he rolled his eyes, finishing with your cast. “Look, I’m done. I was looking at (y/n)’s face to determine if she was in any pain while I fixed her up,” he said, almost disdainfully looking at Connor. He then instructed you to try and move your wrist and when he saw you could not, he nodded. “Good. That’s very good. Okay! Well, you’re all ready to go. You’ll need to come back in a few weeks so we can see if we can take off the cast.”

You nodded as his words, saying, “Guess I’ll have to drive with one hand! Haha!”

“Oh, what the hell do you think you’re thinking,” came Connor’s stern voice. “You aren’t doing anything with that involves driving with that cast on, you understand me, (y/n)? I’ll be your ride, as well as at your beck and call the whole freaking time; and you have no say in this!”

Blinking, you and your parents gazed at Connor, who looked back at the three of you with fiery eyes. Everyone in the room could tell that he wasn’t going to take ‘no’ for an answer. Hell, he wasn’t even asking, he was more telling you what would happen. Your father laughed, “Very well then, looks like our little sweetheart doesn’t have a choice, does she Connor?”

“No, you’re right, she doesn’t. I’m telling her that I’m doing this stuff for her,” he spoke, eyes shifting to you.

You bit your bottom lip and fiddled with a lock of (h/c) hair. “O-okay… I’m not going to argue with you, Connor…” came your soft voice. Knowing that Connor wouldn’t take anything less than your agreement, you decided to not argue him.

Once everything was paid for, you four went back to the car, and when everyone was settled and buckled, your mother started, “You and that nurse seemed to get along very well, pumpkin.” She was finally able to ask you about that man.

You laughed nervously, although more embarrassedly, as you answered, “Yeah, well… what can I s-say? I-it, it was like I knew him from childhood or something. Because I wasn’t all that shy around him.”

There was a certain tone to your voice that signaled to your mom that you knew more than you were telling. Before she could continue to press you for answers, your father spoke, “His name did ring a bell to me, and when he saw us, his eyes lit up like he was familiar with us for a while. Like he had not seen us in a while and was happy. Did we know him before today?”

Apparently George is curious and noticed that too, Cordelia thought to herself. As she drove, her eyes looked at you through the rear-view mirror. She watched you shrug as you answered George, “Yeah… he did seem very familiar. I remember a guy I used to call Jay whose actual name was Jason, back when I was like six years old. If that’s the same Jason then that’d explain why he seemed to know me.”

“Did he not tell you his last name when he took you out for x-rays? After all, I’m sure he did tell you so you could find him. He was flirting with you an awful lot, pumpkin,” your mother inquired.

You hummed in thought for a moment then said, “Well… he did say something that made me think he is Jay from when I was a kid…”

Connor scoffed and sneered, crossing his arms, “He got too close to you for my fucking liking.”

Chuckling, you said, as you reached over and touched his leg, “Connor… don’t be like that. He’s possibly somebody from my childhood!”

“Yeah? And? He got too close to you, (y/n). You’re my fucking girlfriend, not his. He touched you too damn much, called you cutie and cutie-pie too damn much… he looked at you too damn much,” he growled softly, covering your hand with his and squeezing.

You, and your parents’, eyes widened at his growled words. Although, you could tell that his words held more of a worried tone than angry. You found it kind of cute, for lack of a better word, that Connor thought someone who was possibly a childhood friend was a threat. That Jason, if he was indeed the one from about twelve years ago, was a threat to your relationship. Absolutely not, you had just gotten the boy you had been pining for for years, you weren’t going to abandon this relationship for anyone else. “Con… if that’s the same Jay from my childhood then cutie and cutie-pie are just pet names he always called me. I mean, when I was six, he was twelve—I was like a sister to Jay,” you said.

“Fucking sure, twerp. Suuure,” he sighed. Connor did not seem to believe you, though you had given him no reason to not believe you in the several hours you had been dating (or the few days following up to now).

“Connor… don’t sigh like that. Regardless on if Jason was the one from my childhood or not, he doesn’t attract me. He’s not the one I was trying to get to notice me for six years: that is you. Not to mention we just started dating; nobody will take my affections from you. So, don’t think that… like I know you are doing right now,” you spoke, trying to help ease his nerves.

Well that planned backfired. Instead of easing Connor’s nerves, you seemed to agitate them more. “Who the hell do you think you are?” Connor hissed, “We haven’t been dating, nor have we known each other, long enough for you to know or read my feelings and thoughts.”

You looked at Connor and saw that you had made a mistake. “You’re right, I’m sorry for assuming I knew what was going on in your head,” you apologize.

As soon as you apologized, Connor seemed to notice he had snapped at you. However, still being annoyed with Jason, he opted to take your apology and not say anything else. “It’s… fine,” he growled softly.

It was in the moments of silent afterwards that you all arrived home. Cordelia cut through the pregnant silence with a singsong voice saying, “We’re hooooooomeeee!”

“What do we do for dinner, Cordelia?” asked your father, getting out of the car with your mother.

With a shrug, she answered, “Dunno, Georgie! We may order some take-out? I dunno.”

You and Connor got out of the car and shared an awkward gaze; you broke the gaze as you suggested softly, “Let’s go inside… I’m hungry.”

“Yeah, okay…” Connor mumbled, stuffing his hands into his pockets, following after you.

As you two neared the door, Connor ripped his hands out of his pockets and opened the door. With a gentle smile, you spoke, “Thank you, Connor. I appreciate it.” Your words seemed to have caused a very slight blush to paint Connor’s cheeks; you smiled and asked almost cheekily, “Are you blushing, Con?”

“No! I’m not. Just… get inside before I go in and lock your ass out,” he huffed. “I’m trying to be nice after I snapped at you, but if you’re going to be a bitch I wo—”

You silenced him by walking to him and kissing him chastely on the lips before walking through the door. “Thank you for holding the door and being nice, killjoy. Now, I’m making food for myself,” you said, smiling at him from over your shoulder.

Connor stood there, brain still processing the fast, chaste kiss; however, once his brain processed the words that came from your mouth, he rushed to your side. “Excuse me? You aren’t fucking cooking for yourself! You’re in a fucking cast, in case you don’t remember! You shouldn’t be lifting jack shit! Even the lightest thing! And you aren’t fighting me on this either!”

You looked at your boyfriend and said, “Murphy, I can fix my own, I dunno, pasta without any help.”

Connor almost glared at you as he all but hissed, “No. I don’t fucking think so, (y/n). Sit your ass down and I’ll fix the damn pasta! Do you want spaghetti or mac and cheese?”

“Connor,” you said, stepping into the kitchen, “I can do this by my—”

He stopped you right there by sitting you down at the dining table. “No. Shush. I am doing this for your stubborn ass,” he said.

“I am NOT stubborn, Connor! I believe that title would go to you,” you answered. “Now, let me fix my own damn food!

Connor shot you a glare as he hissed, “Absolutely not. Sit your ass down! I’m doing this for you and, again, you have no fucking say.”

His hard tone made you sit down and almost gawk at him. “F-fine! You win! The pots are in the cabinet on the left of the stove. Pasta’s in the pantry near the back door, on the almost top shelf,” you said, leaning back and surrendering to your boyfriend.

“Thank you! Was that so fucking hard?” Connor chuckled as he walked to get two pots from the cabinet. “This shouldn’t be too hard,” he spoke to himself. After he got two decently sized pots, Connor placed them on the stove, threw his long hair up in a messy bun, which had you ogling him. “Alright! Let’s get to making this dork her pasta!”

“Pasta!!” you exclaimed excitedly, “Better make it the way I like it or I’ll raise hell about it!”

“How the FUCK do you expect me to know how you like your pasta?!” he exclaimed, looking over his shoulder to look at you.

You smirked and said with sass, “Then you better ask, Connor. Because I will raise a little hell about it not being the way I like it.”

Almost snarling, Connor asked, “How do you like your fucking pasta, (y/n)? Al dente, soft, mushy?”

Chuckling, you answered him, “I like my pasta slightly soft. A cross between al dente and soft pasta; now, do you know how to make the cheese sauce?”

“I’m sure I can bullshit a damn cheese sauce, (y/n)…” he said, turning to fill the pot he will use for the pasta with water.

A smirk overcame your features as you said, “Are you sure you know, Connor? Because if not, I can always give you the recipe I use.”

From over his shoulder, he growled, “Don’t test my fucking patience, (y/n). I’m a stoner for fuck’s sake, I think I know how to make some mac and cheese. Just sit there, keep quiet and… let me cook. Okay?”

Snickering, you pulled your phone that had been long forgotten from your jeans. Clicking your tongue, you answered, “Okay, okay, mister Cranky-Pants. I’ll play some phone games whilst you cook.”

“Thank you, Miss Wiseass,” Connor quipped as he set the pot of water on the stovetop. Luckily, your stove was the same as he family’s stove, so he did not need to ask you how it worked. Pushing up his hoodie’s sleeves, Connor got to work.

[wewalkadifferentpath]

Ace-friendly SH Fics: Masterlist

Alrighty folks so strap in, here is the first round of my ace-friendly Shadowhunters fic rec list! It’s so hard to have to navigate fics that should have a canon asexual character, always just vaguely expecting disappointment (cough Raphael). So. All of the fics on this list are ace-friendly in some way or another, whether it’s tagged/talked about or even intended by the author or not- they do NOT invalidate Raphael’s asexuality (using the definition of asexuality as not experiencing sexual attraction, irrespective of feelings toward sex. And while this list does have some aroace!Raphael, it is specifically for ace!Raphael)  This’ll cover everything from ace-friendly smut for my smut-inclined friends (meaning Raphael is not sex-repulsed in those, but still ace) to platonic/solo stuff for those of my friends who are less romance-inclined. I also threw in some headcannons of other SH characters. Let me know what you all think! (Things not under the “smut” category do not have any written descriptions of sex to the best of my memory and brief scan-throughs, but please let me know if there’s something in the general list that should be under smut). If you’re strongly sex-repulsed please use your usual discretion. (And everyone just please read the tags in general).   One final note: keep in mind that this is just a collection of fics that are supportive of asexuality. While these are fics I personally enjoyed/read often, this list is not an endorsement of all aspects of the content (ie. the way other identities are handled, etc.) This list is meant to account for different tastes, just with the bonus relief of knowing asexuality is there. So, here we go! 

(I’m ridiculous and can’t do regular summaries; my comments on each rec- if any- are in the brackets): 

Saphael (without direct mention of asexuality but still unequivocally respecting it):

The Heart of An Adventurer by DustinMcDreamy 

Skyrim/Dark Ages AU: Simon is a simple tavern worker, but he wants more than his boring life. An adventurer stays the night at their Inn and Simon is enamored with both the adventurer and his wonderful life. 

(so this is a lovely person who I’ve been collaborating with and they are honestly such an ally and their stories are wonderful, this one is probably my favourite but you can check out their page for other stuff)

put the boom boom into my heart by idontshaveforsher_yesyoudo

"Or maybe something like soulmates always sneeze at the same time and I cant be sure but me and this kid in my French class just sneezed at the same time are we soulmates or was it a coincidence (proceed w character trying to make themselves sneeze around said person to see what’s what)"

or, the one where simon hates his life and Mr. Immaculate Hair doesn't make it better, until he does

Forgotten at Dusk by halfmast Simon finds Raphael wandering around Manhattan barefoot - things go downhill (uphill?) from there.

(So I think this is the only one I’ve included that’s an unfinished WIP and is also NOT explicitly laid out as asexual- because I can’t guarantee it won’t change in later chapters. It also has one chapter left and hasn’t updated in a while so if that rattles you, don’t touch. But it’s beautifully written and sweet and a neat concept, and so far doesn’t contradict asexuality!)

before I ever met you by izzyasavestheday (stilessexual) “I’m missing something,” Simon went on, voice cracking. “I’m missing someone but no matter how hard I try I just can’t fucking remember.”

Can you find me someone to love? by domoiswatchingyou

They all have one thing in common: they are all bad at love, even when some of them love to deny it. (Saphael and Malec AU WIP) (And I gotta say guys, I beta for this lovely person- and thus actually have a hand in writing the ace parts- and they are a wonderful individual. Asexuality not mentioned as of yet but will be upcoming). 

baby, I’m not made of stone by izzyasavestheday (stilessexual)

“Did I ever tell you that we feel everything? The clan, I mean. If I focus enough, I can tell you who’s sad and who’s angry and who hasn’t been sleeping properly. I can tell you who’s been having nightmares. There are no secrets here.”

i'd spend all nine lives with you by alaricrodriguez

simon gets himself turned into a kitten and raphael can't find his fledgling

(this is just little and cute and there’s no explicit effort made to make Raph ace but I guess I’m kind of cheating since it’s from Simon’s POV and doesn’t come up at all but it’s not contradicted and I love this fic so)

echo series by izzyasavestheday (stilessexual) “Right,” Raphael brought himself to his feet, smooth as anything. “Let’s go.” Simon gapped up at him, “Go where?” Raphael rolled his eyes, impressively, (like he didn’t care, like he didn’t care about Simon, but he was here and they both knew neither of them could ever stop caring no matter how much they continued to hurt one another) and heaved a spectacular sigh. “Home.” -

Saphael (ft. actual conversations about asexuality/the word is spoken):

Somebody out there by mckvch (RaiseYourVoice)

(Road trip fic, which is classic of course. PLEASE read the tags. Could be interpreted as demi/gray ace but I identify as just ace and it fits me just fine. This is one of the first fics I read coming into this fandom, and the first one that made me fall in love with Saphael, and it’s got an insanely special warm fuzzy place in my heart) (Also 27 chapters, so how can you complain about that???) The acing on the cake by mckvch (RaiseYourVoice) 

““Oh, come on, puns are amazing! Tell me your sexuality and I’m sure we will have at least one shirt that’ll appeal to you.”  Simon patted the pile of shirts in front of him and smiled hopefully at Raphael who really wanted to disagree and tell the boy he was wasting his time here but he couldn’t bring himself to.” (pride!fic) (this author has some of my favourite ace!Saphael fics ever, and like an endless supply of them with everything under the ace/aro umbrella) A Lesson in Love series by Malteser24 ”Simon thinks it will be difficult to adapt to their new situation - in which they don't actually hate each other - and Raphael can't imagine their date as being anything but awkward, considering how out of his depth he is when it comes to dating.Instead, they actually have a fairly good time.” like a love song on the radio by eversall 

Simon's a bartender, Raphael plays the piano, and somehow they manage to communicate to each other that yeah, they both want this. 

Rock Solid Panda by OhHolyHell

(Made for pan pride day, “Raphael is actually a thoughtful softie” (and so is Simon!) (ft. ace puns)) Disasters that lead to pretty boys (are worth it) by gayinsight "My friend is out of town and I’m supposed to be taking care of her pet fish but it died and you work at the pet store help me find one that looks the same so she won’t notice!" (this one has a hella flirtatious Raphael making some jokes that imply sexual attraction but it doesn’t actually HAVE him experience it and it’s honestly one of the cutest, funniest little Saphael fics ever so) 

if i ever had your number, i think i would use it by eversall

“You – why is your number in the Pandemonium bathroom?”

(classic meet-ugly sorta vibe) I am a pile of bricks and you are holding a sledgehammer by LiviKate “So when do I get tucked safely back under Raphael’s wing?” “You won’t,” Lily said, wandering over to the other side of the room to get her own drink. “Raphael has a new fledgling now. You’re stuck with me.” Or, when Simon isn't the newest vamp in the clan, he has a hard time sharing.

Promised It All, But You Lied by sirknightmordred As Raphael lies in a magical coma that can't be cured, Simon thinks back to pivotal moments in their relationship. (There IS a warning for fairly descriptive sexual assault, but it’s actually surrounded by bolded words in the story so easy to skip. And it does not attribute his ace-ness to the assault, but it’s also rep for those of us who are ace AND have negative experiences with sexual violence) 

Sing me a Song by Margo_96

the one where Simon teaches Raphael's younger brother how to play the guitar and Raphael is not happy. or maybe he doesn't mind it that much (Okay so this is one that kind of equates asexual to ‘not wanting sex,’ and Raphael does have very strong infatuation so not so much representative of romantically-fuzzy people. Hooweeverr, it’s cute af, and I like Simon’s initial reaction to the coming out, and it’s 8 chapters, so worth a read for sure) until i’m not afraid by angelblooddemondust

(Trans!Simon (which I can’t speak to at all) ft ace!supportiveRaph (which I can)) (read the notes) -

Saphael (ft. smut):

Head is spinning thinking ‘bout by LiviKate 

Simon and Raphael enjoy their time together, even if Simon doesn't really know what to call it.

Or, gratuitous vampire sex with some ace-spectrum themes because there's not enough Asexual Raphael.

(This is a lot of blood drinking, which is not my fav, but it’s brilliant in terms of what a sex-positive ace might look like and how they experience sex- it’s from Raph’s POV, and it’s quite good overall imo. Probably my favourite ace!smut)

Just Pull me Closer by SomeWaywardDaughter  After spending an irritating patrol with Clary and Jace, Simon just wants to get back to Hotel DuMort and Raphael. (so I’mma be honest I was in a pretty sex-repulsed mood while doing this part so I didn’t fully reread it to be sure it’s safe but it’s literally written by a self-professed ace author and I did see reference to the aceness amidst the smut so I’m pretty sure we’re good)

What is Desired by DustinMcDreamy (I’m not going to include descriptions for smut because many of them are potentially triggering in nature for sex-repulsed friends, but this one is a dom/sub sort of thing, pretty hella kinky so buyers beware. It’s messy on the ace-front (the author started the series before Raphael came out, and had to add it retroactively) but there’s some good lines in there in particular for gray ace or demi folks who are experiencing lust for someone for the first/only time, etc.) chasing starlight by  mostlikelydefinentlymad There was no set destination, simply one agreed upon prerogative: drive. (So this isn’t technically smut insofar as there’s no actual explicit description of sex, it’s basically all blood drinking, but it’s a heavily implied metaphor and Raphael’s blood lust for Simon is very reminiscent of sexual attraction, so that part kind of doesn’t reflect how I feel as an ace person. BUT Raphael does not actually experience sexual attraction, the story is quite lovely, and the author is quite lovely as well, so I’d still recommend it)

Caught. by Kalifa (Lol this is short and not super smutty either but it’s like #sexindifferentfeels all the way)  -

Raphael and Other Characters ( back to no smut):

love comes in at the eye by prettydizzeed

The first time he asks Raphael out, Raphael scoffs.

(A Raphael/Meliorn fic- and I gotta tell you I didn’t even ship these two but the characterization is beautiful and the handling of the asexuality is a dream)

maybe we're just gonna live forever, maybe heaven's a mistake by prettydizzeed

Raphael presses the pendant into his palm and looks at Magnus. “How did you become okay with it?” Magnus gives a flourish of his hand. “After the whole ‘half demon blood, scorned by the earth as a monster’ thing, liking boys wasn't that big of a deal.” He sees Raphael's expression and adds gently, “But it's different for everyone.” Raphael looks at his hands. Lets go of the cross. “How do I become okay with it?” Incompatible by NotEvenThat

Raphael wants to know why their relationship works for Jace. As with everything, Jace struggles to talk about his feelings and why Raphael Santiago makes him feel so safe. (I can’t even get over how much I love that this fic makes asexuality seem like a bonus rather than a burden in a relationship- which shouldn’t be rare, but alas)

landscapes by brightclam

(Another Raph/Meliorn, those seem to be popular! Ft. gender nonconforming Meliorn and the tags “Asexual Raphael Santiago” “i shouldn't have to tag that but some of y'all demons ignore that” which made me laugh for like 5 minutes)

- Arospec!Raphael/Romance not Mentioned:

Make Yourself at Home by savannahrunes

Two occasions Raphael Santiago shows up at Magnus's door, each time with something quite important to say. (This is my favourite aroace Raphael fic ever and made me cry both times I read it. Also written by an ace author) (do yourself a favour and read this even if you’re not arospec- although that goes for all of them in this category) (he is legitimately 100% aro in this) 

Unnamed Soulmate AU by http://parabatri-gonebabygone.tumblr.com

(So I couldn’t trace this back to AO3 or even the author’s most recent tumblr but it’s so beautiful and I love this fic so much and the author (in my limited opinion) did an amazing job of having an aroace soulmate dynamic and gah, yes)

Four Times Raphael Santiago Was Kissed, and the One Time He Kissed First by albabutter 

His mother should have had a house full of girls. Instead she ended up with him and his brothers and a rag tag crew of every teenaged hooligan in a five mile radius running through her home. She was quick to grab an ear but quicker to give a hug, and Raphael put up with it as well as could be expected. She gave hugs to the neighborhood boys and kisses to her sons, and the only silver lining was that she didn’t wear lipstick. (honestly this is one of my favourite Raphael fics in general, and I believe the author only intended for him to be ace in this but I definitely interpret it as at least aro-spec as well if not just straight-up aroace)  When’s a monster not a monster? by scalira “He had never heard about something like this before. You either liked the opposite sex or you lived in sin as someone who liked the same sex. But he had never heard of people just not liking any sex.He decided to just let it rest for now, pushing the worry aside till he at least graduated highschool. But then there was a friend, and his name was David.” (*** Warning: there is a fairly sudden mention of oral sex near the beginning. And some descriptions of violence. But this is one of my favourite ace-fics in the way that it explains what asexual attraction feels like for me, and Raph is also  grey-homoromantic so bonus) (this author has lots of varying ace and demi/grayromantic/etc Raphael fics too to check out) Carpe Noctem by UMsArchive  For decades, it seems like unlife couldn't get any better and nothing threatens to take all of that happiness away from Simon. Aside from the passing of time that slowly takes everything away from him. Almost everything. (Listed as demiromantic, but as far as I can remember doesn’t even have kissing by the end so it should be fairly aro-friendly) 

Maybe by mckvch(RaiseYourVoice)

“ Yeah, he definitely didn’t want to kiss girls, ever, but boys...not so much, either.” (arospec Raphael with some ambiguousness about his feelings for Simon) It's Not a Date (Unless I Pay for Dinner) by  Vitamin_Me Clary cancels their date last minute, but Simon ends up having a good time despite himself. (So I don’t think this author really intended on having Raphael be aro or even ace, but while I’m not aro and can’t be sure, I think this fic should be pretty safe even for people who are mildly romance-repulsed. There’s definitely implications of feelings- especially from Simon- but really I interpret it as being this chill, mostly platonic, nice little fic that makes me feel pretty good when I’m sick of all the heavy romance stuff) 18. Play A Musical Instrument by GideonGraystairs

So this is just a tiny drabble amidst a sea of drabbles but I love it because it’s one of the only fics I’ve seen that’s literally JUST Raphael, reflecting, by himself. It doesn’t say he’s ace/aro anything, it just doesn’t have any romantic arc at all) -

ace!Alec Lightwood:

Accidental Fate by allonsyarielle 

There were two things Alec Lightwood knew about himself beyond a shadow of a doubt. The first was that he was gay. The second was that he does not like sex. Through a chance encounter with Magnus Bane, Alec learns about asexuality, and it opens his eyes to a new part of his identity. (okay so this one did sort of equate asexuality with “not wanting sex” but I still included it because I think it’s a frank take on how it can feel to realize you’re asexual, and all of the negative emotions that can come with that) Sleepovers Aren’t Just for Kids by SomeWaywardDaughter Ace!Alec discovery his sexuality (written by an ace author) -

Others SH headcannons: 

Send My Love To Your New Lover by HornedQueenOfHell 

(This one is about ace!Etta, one of Magnus’s old exes. It also does the ace=not wanting sex thing, but the author is ace-spec so it’s got some perspective for sure. And it’s written so beautifully and such a lovely concept. **Warning for ace-phobia and brief sexual harassment) (I cried the first time I read this) El Hijo De Santa Muerte by Gzmoii “He stepped aside, letting Guadalupe in. She walked in with a careful nod, looking around at Magnus’ loft. Magnus snapped his fingers behind his back, hiding the potions and other magical ingredients around the loft. Given that Guadalupe wasn’t a mundane, she wouldn’t be able to notice the subtle shift as everything around the room moved. Guadalupe’s head snapped toward him, “What was that?” She asked.” (So this actually DOES have ace!Raphael, but I’m putting it here because it also has aro!Guadalupe Santiago, which is hella rad) (22 ch and counting) 

You Aren’t Broken by allonsyarielle

(Ace!Alec but also demiromantic!Magnus)

-- -- -- Alright, that’s it for now!  Hope you all got something out of this! If you are one of the authors listed here and you want your fic/name OFF the list, please message me. If you have written an ace-friendly fic that you want included, hmu and I’ll check it out. Depending on demand, I’ll hopefully be doing updated lists every so often, as well as spin-offs (for example, I have a small but growing list of Malec fics that just so happen to have really sweet comments about asexuality, or have ace!Raphael as a minor character). If you want to request any specific type of fic, please feel free to ask me, I’ve literally got folders overflowing. Have a lovely, ace-friendly day! 

[eversall]

hello it’s my birthday so i’m gonna call out the people who have made this hell site bearable and have made me a different person than i was last year at this time. because now i know them, and that’s made all the difference in the world.

@greysummers: og homie #1. first person to talk to me on this blue hell gazette. funny, such a talented writer, and all around such a chill person to talk to. she still remembers my hank/alex days, and one day we will finish our 50k mcsummers fic that’s honestly a work of art. she’s the reason i initially thought - before shadowhunters - that i could stick around for a while and see what the people were like here. 

@saphael-o-lantern: og homie #2. first person in the shadowhunters fandom that i became friends with, and holy fucking hell i don’t know what i’d do without her. she’s been there for me through my ups and my downs, she’s wickedly funny, and is absolutely charming. keeps my love for raphael and my slight, begrudging, do-i-have-to appreciation of clace alive. also writes adorable saphael, someone should bug her about publishing it. gets all my jokes and most of my references and always, always brightens my mood when i talk to her. it feels like i’ve know her for like ten years, this is how awesome she is. 

@ghostlyjimon: jesus christ on a stick quinn is responsible for most of the angsty jimon things in my life. anyway. she’s hilarious, spells everything incorrectly, and is the co-author of that one 25k jimon fic you know the one and honestly, that took intense work. i’m always in awe of how talented she is. and you guys, she’s just as wonderful irl as she is on this hellsite. every time i talk to her i’m laughing so hard because she’s just dramatic and extra and i love her so much for that. 

@softjimon: one of the best moments of my life was when jess legitimately thought i was from london for a long time. she just like, made that fact up in her head. anyway, she is, of course, an incredible writer - who doesn’t know that by now? - and every time she posts something i scream a little. she’s also hilarious, totally and amusingly done with the uni life, and so much fun to talk to. her neverending support for everything i write is absolutely the most astounding thing. together the two of us are justin timberlake and jimmy fallon, k? her passion for the things she does in life and just everything about her inspire me to be a better person. 

@sunlewis: i’ve never wanted to hug anyone as badly as i want to hug anne. i love her blog so much and when she started talking to me i was starstruck. anne is hilarious, and adorable, and such a genuine, honest person to talk to. she has an amazing love for so many characters and actors and is so supportive. her writing is incredible, and everyone is suffering because she doesn’t publish most of it. she deserves the world and i swear to god she’s gonna get it one day. i made a twitter just so i could talk to her, because she’s incredible and it’s worth it. 

and a list of endlessly amazing people that i love for various reasons that are way too lengthy to list all at once here: 

@zombiejace @scarysimon @vexedcer @simonlewhiss  @the-undergod @alecbaene @maialec @boasorteminhamenina @magnsbeans @caqtis @wellsyaha @magnusragnor @ninjacksonfive @sunshinerosende

i am most probably definitely missing people here so if i suddenly remember you and tag you abruptly when this post is no longer relevant, don’t be alarmed! it’s just my very bad memory. 

p.s. - and to the shadowhunter fandom: thank you for letting me write for you this past year. thank you for making me believe in myself. 

[the-nishia-west]

Painting Angels

Hey so I just posted my 6th work on AO3. Just thought I’d share it here. My account is alittlebee.

Clary loves painting Izzy. Izzy loves being painted by Clary.

Clary has an unrequited crush on Izzy. But Izzy has an unrequited crush on Clary.

Simon and Magnus know they’re meant to be.

A cute Clizzy fic inspired by a friend. Background saphael, malec, and jeliorn.

Words: 1627

Izzy smiled at Clary as she furrowed her brow in concentration. She was a work of art, bright, fiery red hair, and emerald green eyes. Izzy had a secret crush on the girl, but she knew it was unrequited. Clary was clearly interested in Jace. She was probably straight anyways. Still, Izzy liked to spend time with the girl, even if it would always be platonic.

“No, don’t move Iz, I’m doing your face.” Clary had been adamant about painting Izzy and she’d finally gave in. Who could resist that face? Speaking of faces. “Iz!”

“Sorry sorry,” Izzy returned her face to a neutral position, not without difficulty. Clary had been going around the institute stopping people individually. She claimed to have been ‘inspired’ by all the beautiful people to get back into painting. Because of the whole chaos of finding out she was a shadowhunter, then the war with Valentine, she hadn’t had much time to focus on her artistic hobbies. So far, she’d painted Jace, Max, and Magnus. She’d even somehow convinced Alec to sit still for a couple hours. Izzy had been busy attending meetings and patrolling during the day. She’d finally had a moment to herself when Clary had burst into her room asking for the favor.

“Can I see it yet?” she asked.

“Patience. I’m not done.” Clary wiped her brow with the back of her hand, leaving a streak of blue paint. Izzy laughed, pointing it out.

A week later, Clary came to Izzy’s room again. “What do you need Clary?” She smiled.

“I was wondering if I could paint you again?” she asked hesitantly. “Unless you don’t have time, I don’t want to bother you if you don’t want to be painted.” Izzy shook her head.

“No, I have all the time in the world. I love watching you paint, and your paintings are so beautiful,” she admitted. Clary blushed, though Izzy didn’t know whether it was from the compliment, or because she had just told her that she liked to watch her paint.

The two girls made their way to Clary’s room. She’d somehow managed to make her room entirely hers. Entirely Clary. There was an easel in the corner of the room surrounded by different art supplies and mediums. Her window was open, letting in the bright sunshine of the outside and her bed was covered with a yellow comforter. It was all very warm and colorful.

“Sit.” Clary motioned to the chair facing the window.

“Different place this time?” Izzy asked. Clary smiled.

“The light from the window makes you glow beautifully. I want to capture that image.” Izzy was surprised and blushed. Clary seemed a little flustered, picking up her paints.

Izzy loved watching Clary paint, but Clary loved painting Izzy. She loved the dark black of Izzy’s wavy hair that contrasted against her brown skin. She loved the bright red lipstick Izzy always wore. She loved the curves of Izzy’s lips and the way her eyelashes dusted her cheeks. She loved everything about Izzy. But Izzy didn’t love everything about her. She couldn’t. She was probably straight. Clary knew that she’d been seeing Meliorn before. She also knew that Izzy had a knack for getting men to do what she wanted. There was no way Izzy would ever be interested in Clary, a girl. Izzy just saw her as her as a close friend, and that was probably all they’d ever be.

Still, Clary enjoyed spending time with the bold shadowhunter, even if her feelings were unrequited.

A few hours later, Clary was almost done with her second painting for the day. Izzy had fallen asleep in her chair, probably because Clary had asked her to close her eyes. Clary took the opportunity to quickly paint Izzy asleep. She was beautiful that way, her face all softness and no lines.

When she awoke, Clary showed her the painting she’d done before, hiding the second behind her.

“It’s beautiful Clary. I love it.” Clary flushed.

“Thanks Iz.”

In the following few weeks, Clary didn’t ask to paint Izzy again. She was satisfied with her painting she’d dubbed “Sleeping Beauty”. She missed painting Izzy, but she didn’t want to bother her again. She knew that Izzy was busy with her duties, being a member of the Lightwood family. Instead, she painted Luke and Simon. She’d even somehow managed to paint Raphael, but only because Simon had sent her an image on her phone.

“Simon. I don’t know what to do,” Clary complained one day as they sat outside of Java Jones. She was frustrated with her feelings and wanted them to go away.

Simon, being the ever so helpful friend, tried to give her some advice. “Why don’t you just tell her you like her?” he asked.

Clary groaned. “Because there’s no way she could like me back! I don’t want to embarrass myself and ruin the friendship we have. It’s not the same as with you and Raphael. I know she’s straight.” Simon just chuckled at that. “It’s not funny,” she complained.

“I don’t know Fray, it’s pretty funny to me. Have you not seen the way she looks at you? There is no way that Lightwood girl is straight. Come on, take it from your favorite pan, trust me. Just tell her how you feel.”

Clary looked at him suspiciously. Then she sighed. “I don’t know Simon. I just… I don’t want to make a mistake.”

Izzy had had a similar conversation with her brother’s boyfriend, Magnus. “Mags, what do I do. I want to tell her, but I know she won’t feel the same way.”

Magnus handed her a glass of wine. “Isabelle, my dear. Biscuit has been making heart eyes at you from day one. I’m sure she likes you. And if she doesn’t, she’ll understand that your feelings don’t change your friendship. But I have a feeling that there’s a pretty good chance she likes you back. Call it a bisexual’s intuition.”

The next day, Izzy ran into Clary. “Clary! I’ve been looking for you. There’s something I need to tell you.”

Clary looked startled. “I was looking for you too. There’s something I need to say as well.” Izzy didn’t know what Clary had to say, but it looked urgent.

“Alright, let’s go to your room to talk.” They settled on the edge of Clary’s bed, both looking nervous. “You wanted to tell me something?”

“Y-Yeah,” Clary started. “Isabelle-” Clary never called Izzy by her full name. Was something wrong? “Isabelle I really like you. I love your smile, the way your eyes crinkle when you laugh. I love your bravery and the confidence that just pours off of you in waves. I love that you take the time out of your day to let me paint you, and I love that you show you care about me even if it is platonic. I just wanted you to know… I like you.” Izzy stared at Clary. “I-I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have told you, I don’t want to ruin our friendship. Let’s just forget this happened, and we can be friends, yeah?” Clary turned to leave. Izzy caught her by the wrist, her fingers warm.

“No, no wait. I like you too! I love your face when you’re concentrating. I love how headstrong and determined you can be. I love how you’re so kind to all of us and how you take time to hang out with everyone you care about. I love all that about you and more. That’s why… that’s why I’m asking you… will you be my girlfriend?” Clary didn’t answer. Instead, she lunged forwards, capturing Izzy’s lips with hers. Izzy froze, then tangled her fingers in Clary’s red hair. Clary made a small noise of approval. The kiss was sweet and Clary poured all of her feelings into it. Izzy’s lips were warm on hers, and soft in a way that only a girl’s lips can be. Clary knew that Izzy could be rough and demanding. She’d seen it first hand with one of Izzy’s ex boyfriends. But this kiss was gentle and tender. It showed all the love Izzy had for her. Izzy gently stroked her cheek with her thumb, whispering sweet nothings in between kisses.

When they finally broke apart, Clary breathed out an amazed, “Wow.” Izzy chuckled in agreement, grabbing ahold of Clary’s hands.

“So… is that a yes?”

Clary shoved her playfully on the shoulder. “Of course that’s a yes. I’m really happy.”

“I’m happy too.” They sat there, hands touching, smiling at each other with a new fondness. They were about to kiss again when they heard cheering at the door. Then there was a loud, “Shh! You’ll give our position away,” followed by some shoving noises before the door swung open and a crowd of people fell into the room.

Simon looked up from the bottom of the pile. “Hi?” Izzy laughed.

“Congratulations! I told you Isabelle, dear. Congrats to you too biscuit. You better make each other happy,” Magnus said, standing behind the pile of people. Jace stood up.

“MY WHOLE FAMILY IS GAY WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME!” he exclaimed. At that, everyone chuckled.

“Bi, not gay,” Izzy said, happiness in her eyes.

“Oh yeah well… well I’m bi too, so ha,” Jace said. “And… I have a boyfriend. My announcement is Meliorn. I-I mean I have an announcement, my boyfriend is Meliorn.“

Several eyebrows were raised at that. “We’ll leave you two alone. Come on shadowhunters, Alexander.” The group all stood and left the room, Simon closing the door with a wink.

“Well that’s one way to tell them,” Clary muttered. Izzy laughed. “Go on a date with me?”

“With pleasure Fairchild.” And she kissed Clary on the cheek.

[heartforheart532]

2x11 Review

So I wanna go ahead and talk about “Mea Maxima Culpa’’ with you guys! I’ll be highlighting a few things I liked about the episode and what didn’t really do it for me, and of course you guys are all welcome to share your own thoughts in the comments down below.

This review is NOT spoiler free! If you have not seen the episode yet, then don’t click on “Read more.’’ Come back when you’ve watched it and feel free to join the discussion. (It’s quite long, prepare yourself)

Okay, before I begin this review I’m highlighting the things I did or didn’t like and then I’ll dive into them more later.

Things I liked:

1. Parabatai intro scene 2. Jimon banter 3. Debute of Sebastian Verlac 4. Azazel (For a certain part) 5. Malec (Duh) 6. Raphael’s scenes 7. Clary/Jace/Valentine scene 8 Luke/Maia bonding + Luke being one of the best Alpha’s there is. 9,. FUCKING PARABATAI’S 10. The summoning of Azazel 11. The bodyswap between Magnus and Valentine.

Things I didn’t like:

1. Climon 2. Azazel (For a certain part) 3. Ollie 4. Izzy battling her yin fen addiction  5. The Saphael scene 6. Certain parts of the bodyswap between Magnus and Valentine 7. Clary’s reaction when she found out Jace was not her brother 8. JACE FUCKING CRYING

Alright, kicking off I’ll start with the things I liked and really set the episode for me:

1. The parabatai scene: How could anyone NOT love this scene? It’s some lighthearted, playful training between to brothers and parabatai and it’s something that makes you smile. It was a great decision to put this at the beginning of the episode and how the two bantered about Jace’s issues while training. I think it really lightened the mood after the events of the Soul Sword and we all know Jace could use that.

2. Jimon banter: WHAT IS THERE NOT TO LOVE!? This scene honestly made me laugh so loud. Reasons why I love it so much is because, A) Simon really, really wants to cheer Jace up, showing he actually cares for him and B) Jace is having NONE of it, which is just funny. I saw some people found it disappointing on how he responded towards Simon but guys, don’t forget that’s what Jace is like. Besides, he does care for Simon. He just doesn’t want to show it.

3. The debute of Sebastian Verlac: I think we’re all in big trouble. We all know Sebastian is no good, and you can definitely tell something’s up with him at the end of his and Izzy’s scene, but Will plays him so, so incredibly well that I can’t help but smile when I see him on my screen and I think at that, the producers did a damn good job casting him. For this role you would want someone that looks nice, acts very sweet and would want to be someone you can trust and lean on, while in the inside, they are planning how to take you and everyone else down. Will so far is rocking the ‘’kind’’ side of Sebastian but I can not wait how he will portray the real Sebastian. All in all, I’m hyped.

4. Azazel: I pointed out in the highlights that I only liked certain parts of Azazel. The parts I liked is more his power then anything. Also the small backstory Magnus gave us on Azazel (I’m not that far with the books yet, I know. I’m a slow reader) really intrigued me and left me anticipated for what Azazel might be up to next episode. Also why DID he swap Magnus and Valentine’s bodies? I’m really curious to that. (I also really liked the plot the writers were going with here, having Magnus and Alec arrive late at the scene where Azazel was with Izzy and have them think he has her, it all fitted really well and I thought it was brilliantly written.)

5.Malec: DO I EVEN NEED TO EXPLAIN MYSELF WHY I LIKE- MORE LOVED THESE SCENES SO MUCH!? I think to me the big deal breaker is the casual kiss and touches they shared with each other. Now they are in an established relationship, we see them getting more touchy feely with one other and that is something we clearly missed in 2A. Magnus seemed to be the person that, after his family, Alec really has grown to love and this episode shows that beautifully. From the point where he just casually kisses Magnus first, to the point where he is crying out in pain and practically begs his loved one to stop Azazel and afterwards being so worried, that he wanted to go home with Magnus. (Even if it was Valentine at this point but hey, Alec doesn’t know that.) I think they work great together as a team, even if we saw them evastigating the place around the vampire den for a short amount of time.

6. Raphael’s scenes: I am so happy with the path the writers have chosen for Raphael. I love that how, when Isabelle visits him, he owns up to his mistakes, tells her to leave for her own good and refuses every single offer she throws at him. But when she leaves he knows she’s not going home so he goes to Magnus’ to warn Alec. Also, the fact that after everything Magnus welcomes Raphael with open arms and covers up the windows with his curtains really warms my heart. to me, this episode showed a more vulnerable Raphael then it did the last two seasons. He didn’t bicker with Alec, he accepted the attitude he got from him. He knew it was his fault and he’s owning up to it, while looking out for her at the same time. I think that’s just amazing. As for the Saphael scene, I loved it. I do. Him scaring Simon is just plain funny but there was one thing that had me confused, and I’ll explain that later.

7. Clary/Jace/Valentine scene: Valenitne taunting Jace about Clary and her not having a clue and Jace punching him. Sorry just. That made my day.

8. LUKE: Can we just appreciate how fucking calm Luke stays with all this going on and tries to keep his pack under control at the same time? I have so much respect for this man and I am so, so happy all is good between Maia and Luke. These two are really going to need one other these coming episodes and I’m really looking forward to see more of their bond. For the rest, I loved how he handled the Russel situation and was not afraid to fight Russel if he really would have had to. And besides, letting Russel know he’d lose if he fought with him? Fucking genius.

9. FUCKING PARABATAI’S: AND MY FUCKING EMOTIONS. HUG. THAT HUG. THAT’S ALL. HUGGING WHILE JACE IS CRYING. OKAY BYE.

10. The summoning of Azazel: I really liked the summoning actually. I don’t know, I found it interesting to watch, maybe because you know that, of course, it will fo wrong and you’re anxious to see how they will fix it. I really loved Magnus’ facial performances during it and the way he used his magic. Harry Shum Jr owning the scenes like always.

11.The bodyswap between Magnus and Valentine: I. AM. SO. FUCKING. HYPED. FOR. THIS!!! I really think this is a good plotline, even though it’s not lasting long if you have seen the 2x12 promo. But guys, this is going to show us beautiful, earth shattering acting by both Harry and Alan! And I am so here for it! I don’t know how but in the 2x12 promo I can literally feel Valentine in Magnus and the other way around as well. The way Harry portray “Valentine’’ Magnus is just amazing and he is going to blow our minds once more. As for Valentine, we see a very vulnerable and scared one, we see a scared Magnus. And Alan nails that as well in my opinion, you can just feel them in each others bodies and I am so excited for it. 

Now moving on to the things I didn’t like:

1. Climon: This is not a ‘oh ew gross they’re kissing’ opinion. No, this is an opinion where I am hella pissed at Clary. Simon is voicing his worries about being a Daylighter and she just fucking keeps brushing him off, she keeps pushing his worries away instead of talking about them and it really, really rubs me the wrong way. If she wants to be a ‘normal couple’ then she should listen to Simon, not shut him up because ‘they’ve gone already through so much’ and she so desperately wants to smooch him...

2.Azazel: The only thing I didn’t really like was how when Sebastian and Jace tried to attack him he vaporated into what looked like a swarm of bugs and then disappeared. Again, I’m not firmiliar with his book charachter and I don’t know if he does it in the books but ... No, I didn’t really like it.

3. Ollie: Don’t like her. Don’t trust her. Keep an eye on her at all costs.

4. Izzy: It’s really difficult seeing our beloved Isabelle struggling like this. But I think the writers and Emeraude did a good job on showing what kicking off drugs looks like and can do to a person. Props to them. For the rest, Emeraude killed the episode in the best way possible.

5. The Saphael Scene: Okay, here I am getting to something I didn’t understand. Raphael seemed very calm talking to Simon, even when explaining about Daylighters. Then he got up in to his face and said in a very low voice “I hope so’’? I mean, what’s the deal with that? Is Raph jealous?

6. Downsides of the bodyswap between Magnus and Valentine: Mainly Malec. Alec is going to lovingly interact with Magnus, while not knowing it’s not HIS Magnus and Valentine (Read Magnus) is perhaps going to blow him off most of the time. ALos the scene where Alec is holding Magnus (Read Valentine) against the wall and tell him his sicks games are over after (?) Magnus tells him that if he loves him, he has got to believe him, really kills me on the inside. Magnus is desperate and has no way to actually prove that it’s him, except for his boyfriend. But if you watch very closely you see Alec falter when Magnus calls him “Alexander’’. No one calls him that, sure they know it’s his name but no one calls him that. Especially not Valentine. If that doesn’t cause any alarm bells to go off in Alec’s head, then I don’t know what will.

7. Clary’s reaction when she found out Jace is not her brother: I get why she is mad. That’s not my argument. What pisses me off is the way she said “Why would that ruin anything?’’ Like girl, don’t fool yourself and don’t fool Simon. He deserves better and so does Jace.

8. JACE FUCKING CRYING: Beautifully and heartfelt portrayed by Dom. And it broke me. Clary wanted him to feel something? Well congratulations, you made him cry. 

All in all, this episode had me on the edge of my seat most of the times and really sent the tone for 2B! I am really excited to see what happens next and I don’t think they could’ve kicked the Summer premiere in a better way.

See you next week, Angels!

[glitter-masterbane]

So hear me out....

Correct me if I’m wrong here ok, I’m about to finish book 2 (yeah I’m WAY FAR BEHIND on TMI books -I’m currently reading Aristotle and Dante and CoA.. so... yeah) and I’m up to date with the series; I have a theory(??) regarding Raphael and his treatment of Simon and I kind of want to know if I’m reading too much into it or not...

BUT this will have spoilers~ if you aren’t up to date with the new season that is~ (or if you haven’t read all TMI books yet like me) so read at your own risk(???)

Ok so I’ve been thinking about Raphael Santiago a lot since last Monday’s episode.. well since S2E02 actually.... so here is the thing, he basically ordered the clan to kill Simon in S1 right? And then he comes, very chummy like(??) and basically talks to Simon so.... calmly and (I don’t want to get into Saphael here) looks at him so differently than before... IDK it feels weird(?) like I don’t get him, I don’t get where the series is trying to go with Raphael, he’s SO cryptic and treating Simon so differently and I know it doesn’t have to do with the Clave “breathing” down his neck ‘cause when has that stopped Raphael before???

Then again, in S1 we really didn’t see much of Raphael and how he is... and I feel like book!Raphael is very different from series!Raphael... oh though I really haven’t read much about book!Raphael (I did pass the part of the turning of Simon) but I did read about him on wikipedia.... (plz don’t kill me... I do that when I want to know things really fast) and from what I got, he really isn’t like series!Raphael which it’s a version I ADORE~

So watching S2E03 got me thinking even more about Raphael and his overall personality towards Simon. At first I was a bit angry at Raphael because he’s just using Simon to get Camille (totally justified I get it) but then the whole Simon’s mom thing and lying to her about the tour and stuff like that (leaving out the part where he basically threaten her life in order for Simon to do “his job”), got me thinking like “well maybe Raphael didn’t get a chance to actually have closure with his family so maybe he want’s Simon to do it now that he has time to do so....?” and that’s why his being “nice” and lenient with Simon and isn’t trying to kill him but is actually trying to help him as his substitute sire, like he was already doing so like two days before(???) (remember, in past interviews the cast has mentioned that technically S1 is only like 11 days or so “irl” for the characters and S2 picks up like an 1hr latter after Jace is taken by Valentine. Which means that Simon has been “banished” from the clan for like two days.) and that warmed my dark little heart, thinking that in the end Raphael might still be pissed off by what Simon did regarding Camille but he’s also trying to get him on track and help him be a better vamp and get his shit together and maybe get him back to the hotel.

So.... is he looking out for Simon, while teaching him one of the hardest lessons for a vampire regarding letting go of his family.... or is he just using him and being gentle(???) about it.... like I understand that fucking Aldertree is pushing Raphael because of the vampire den that Camille left behind and because he’s the head of the NY vampire clan so it’s his job to make sure rogue vamps don’t do what Maria was doing with the mundanes and the vamp den, though I don’t think Raphael really cares about the dens at all...

So I’m trying to get my mind out of the Saphael gutter and trying to see this normally(????)... like I think Raphael is trying to be patient, something he isn’t(???) with Simon; trying to get everything under control.

But like I’m still waiting for Simon to ask Raphael to forgive him for what he did but I’m sure that won’t happen (Saphael gutter sorry) so that brings me to the word that Raphael uses when Simon is desperate to find his mom:

“Family”

Does that mean that Simon is still part of the NY vamp clan? Because Raphael tells him “we are your family” and how long has it been since he told the clan to kill Simon? Two days? Is he going back on his word/order to kill Simon and does that mean he can come back to the clan then? Or again is he just using him to get Camille?

Because then there’s the whole scene regarding a future episode where we see Raphael and Simon fighting while Magnus tries to mediate their meeting (which inspired a fic I’m still trying to finish writing btw) that scene and the little bit of info we got from one of the videos BTS that they posted on YT a while a go, regarding the warehouse where Simon currently lives in; basically saying that Simon would be making that place “his home” i.e. meaning he isn’t going back to the Hotel Du Mort (nor is he living with Magnus like they had mentioned/rumored) so Raphael hasn’t welcomed him back to the clan then and like I thought first, he is just using him, like Clary (and indirectly Simon) used Raphael before to get what Clary “needed”... here is where I might be wrong since I haven’t really read book 3 and to my crazy theories I feel like S1 was book 1 and 2 sliced and re-written and S2 is book 2 and 3 sliced and re-written... am I right, has anyone thought it like this?

If so then I guess I’m missing a lot of information regarding book 3 (which I hope to read asap) specially regarding Raphael and Simon... but then again the series is book divergent so I could just be reading to much into it and maybe things will work out for the best... like if my memory doesn’t fail me, and I remember correctly what I read on wikipedia about Raphael, he basically dies saving Simon..(???) or helping the group escape from somewhere(???) but can’t tell how the series will manage that and if that’s even going to be in this season (since I don’t remember in what book does Raphael die).

In conclusion(???) is Raphael just using Simon or is he being Simon’s much needed sire/guide and trying to help him while pushing him to fix the mess he help make and get it done by himself, with no help from Clary or any Shadowhunter, without the help of Luke and eventually not even with help from Magnus; so that Simon actually asks help from the vamps that are now his family and should be his #1 priority.... 

My Saphael mind tells me Raphael is still pissed with Simon but is also missing him really bad and is trying to get him to see reason and understand that he was wrong and that now he’s a vamp and should stick to vamps and there fore go back to Raphael (that look Raphael gives Simon in S2E02 wasn’t a “normal” the-clan-leader-is-ordering-you-to-do-your-job type of look, it was more like a cant-you-see-I'm-trying-to-tell-you-something-here-pay-attention type of look) and fix their issues and get their relationship on track again (whether you ship them romantically or platonic) and eventually be back at the hotel and the clan...

IDK what do you guys think...

[jakeluppin]

I was tagged by @moonlightcanary thank u!!!

the rules: write the first sentence of the last ten stories you’ve written and look for patterns. then tag some friends.

I’m going off the last ten things on my ao3 bc otherwise like, that would be too much of a mess.

Logic & Emotions - javid, teen, 2744 words

Jack wishes he could recall when he fell in love with Davey.

What We Hide - saphael, gen, 1081 words

When Simon started high school, he never thought he would be anyone.

love's not fabricated - javid, teen, 1956 words

Davey’s never…. Like, he’s not.... It’s just…

mfeo - javid, gen, 844 words

Jack loves to watch Davey sleep.

Black & White - javid, teen, 5737 words

Jack doesn’t like the idea of crushes.

to heal - jimon, teen, 3369 words

Simon starts to physically ache every time he thinks about his soulmate.

and starry eyed - jimon, teen, 2423 words

Like, okay. Simon understands that, really, not talking to someone for five days isn’t exactly a huge deal.

that Missing piece - saphael, gen, 764 words

There’s a light knock on the door that wakes Simon up.

You're My Medicine - jasaphael, gen, 842 words

Panic attacks are no stranger to Raphael Santiago.

Fall For You - jimon, gen, 4622 words

It’s not even Simon’s wedding and yet here he is, having a panic attack, because the flower delivery is twenty minutes late. 

As for patterns - I generally get the main character introduced right away. Descriptions? Who cares! Generally short sentences. A lot or more feelings of the character as opposed to an action. I technically had two there where I did more than one line bc it was not much with just one. I write a lot where my writing style is really casual? if that makes sense. In that, like, it’s how they would be talking or thinking.

I can’t think of who to tag - I’ve been so out of writing circles idk anymore who still writes. But anyone who does write and wants to do this, please do and tag me. I would love to see it!

[rcisehcll]

the inquisition || simon && magnus && clary

also known as the one where magnus, simon, and clary, talk about their feelings.

@notanythcng @unexpectedtrajectories

clary when she had received an invitation from simon to meet him at one of his favourite restaurants, she hadn't really been certain what magnus wanted to talk about. things seemed to be improving, especially where alec was concerned. and magnus was designing again. walking inside with simon, she looks to her best friend. "did magnus say what he wanted to talk about?" 

Simon was running late. as per usual. with his car now safely tucked away in the shop across town he had to rely on public transit - a system which wasn't as reliable as they liked to proclaim they were. thankfully both of his best friends ​also​ had a habit of being late and he smiled when he saw clary, kissing her on the cheek as he met her outside the restaurant. "hi. uh, it was just to get lunch i think?" he shrugged, trying to remember what magnus had said earlier. "i was spazzing and he said we should all get lunch. on him." 

clary smiles at simon, giving him a side hug. "things seem - good right now. he's designing again." she tells simon. "and not just - a few designs here and there. he's really designing." pride seemed to seize the younger fairchild as she made the statement. "and he even agreed to come to your favourite place." 

Simon couldn't help but share the sentiment - seeing magnus happy made him happy. "he mentioned it earlier, that he was designing again." he clarified. "he's really good. he never should have given it up." he knew why of course, they both did, but it was great to hear that he'd found some ​inspiration​ again. he deserved it, more than anyone. "he was being nice. almost too nice. which, don't get me wrong, i'm not complaining about," he added with a laugh, "it's just weird. i'm used to being relentlessly mocked. change is weird. super weird." 

clary "i actually asked him to design the dress i'm wearing to becca's wedding." of course, she was now well aware why magnus had stopped designing. although she had always try to get him back on the horse, so to speak. "i told him that if he can design something today, then he should should go for it this time." "maybe he's just in a good mood - he has a lot to be happy about," clary surmised. "i think alec is really good for him."

magnus knew he was probably late, but he'd let the kids watch another episode of project runway and gotten coffee before finally making his way to their meeting place---- he was the type to show up late and make an entrance. it was just who magnus was. but there was a lightness to his steps and a shine in his eyes that was unusual ; he looked younger, happier. he felt good. which was why he'd suggested they went to simon's favourite place, even though he wasn't very fond of it. as long as he was with simon and clary, though, it was perfect. sneaking up behind them, the man wrapped an arm around each of them, kissing their cheeks. "are you conspiring against me?" 

clary although she hadn't seen magnus walk up to them, she simply assumed when an arm was wrapped around her and a kiss placed to her cheek, her brother had arrived. "we were just talking about how great it is that you're designing again." 

Simon wasn't as prone to assumptions as clary, nearly jumping out of his skin when someone wrapped an arm around him. they lived in new york, after all - you could never be too safe. "jes -- oh, it's just you." he visibly relaxed when he saw that it was magnus, shaking his head. "conspiring against you? no. but i might now that you've taken ​ten years​ off of my life." despite his words there was no heat to them, a lazy smile on his face as he shook his head. 

magnus shot his sister a glare that came off more playful than anything else, shaking his head--- not letting go of them as he spoke. "i'm not ​designing​, we've been through this. i just doodle more." chuckling at simon, magnus nudged their heads together, shrugging absentmindedly---- he wanted to yell for details of the man's date with raphael but there was time for that. it felt nice to be there, just the three times. like old times. it was familiar, and while magnus was thankful for the new people in their collective lives, he missed this. "you take ten years off your life daily, with all the coffee you drink, and all the stressing you do. i just sped up the process a little bit more." 

clary her eyebrows raise in a similarly playful manner as she catches the glare her brother sending her way. "doodles of designs. and remember our agreement." she almost appears stern momentarily, but then the same goofy, wide smile is on her face. stretching up to her eyes as it occupies her face. "he's right, simon. although he does have to deal with maureen daily." 

Simon let out a strangled sigh. "yeah, if maureen has her way I won't make it through the end of the week." he winced. "and I'll have you know, coffee is good for you. it's natural. ish." 

magnus shook his head at his sister, rolling his eyes and deciding to see if she'd let it go. the comments on maureen, however, made the man laugh ; letting go of them and nudging simon with his shoulder. "let maureen be, you had it coming. it's a good thing she's still keen on fucking you over, though, i knew i liked her." an eyebrow arched as magnus moved to actually enter the restaurant. "i love coffee, but there are limits. with your anxiety and the amount you have every day, you'll be dead before you're 30." 

clary of course, clary had absolutely no intention of letting it go. and she hoped that her best friend was like minded. nudging her brother in his comments. "maureen became the she devil after they broke up - and it's literally been over a year." she defends, always fighting in simon's corner. ( she doesn't think a day will ever come where that is not the case. ) "but he's right. you drink way too much coffee. and the fact that we keep meeting at that coffee place near the loft is not helping."

Simon was starting to feel a little attacked. "hey," he protested, "coffee, in the grand scheme of things, isn't the worst thing I could be pounding back." and while he had to agree with clary's comments about maureen he was hesitant to keep going - he'd made his bed when they'd broken up with little to no notice, having thought he was in love with his best friend. he hasn't been, of course, but maureen had never moved past it. her hatred towards clary had never waned either. "but hey, weren't we talking about magnus? yeah, let's go back to that!"

magnus laughed, wiggling his eyebrows at simon although there was a toughness to his glare. "it isn't, but it also isn't the best thing you could be pounding ​at​." shaking his head, the older man didn't really bother stopping as he saw a fairly empty room ( clearly, who would have lunch here? ) and found them a table, ready to deflect the conversation from him. "magnus is here, therefore you cannot talk about him. let's talk about you and raphael. or clary and izzy."

Simon blanched at magnus' words, shaking his head. "that's not a visual i needed." he commented as they made their way to their seats, hoping that the hostess hadn't heard their friend's ​crass​ comments. "i vote we talk about clary and izzy. that sounds like a great idea." and if it meant that he didn't have to talk about himself, well, it was an added bonus. 

clary couldn't help but feel a little bad for her best friend. he had essentially asked for that. "you did walk right into it." making her way to their seats and settling herself, raising an eyebrow when it was suggested that they discuss her romantic relationship. "i vote we talk about you and raphael. magnus?" looking at her brother as the deciding vote. she really didn't want to talk about herself.

magnus tapped his fingers against the table for a moment, eyeing the two and trying to make a decision---- ultimately, he had a feeling that he would end up lecturing them but who first? "he could walk his dick into raphael, that would make everyone happier. so i guess that's where we're starting. saphael." 

Simon choked on his words as he stammered out what sounded like an unintelligent string of noises, unable to form a coherent string of thought. "um,' he interjected, head shaking emphatically, "this is not - we're not talking about that. my sex life is off the table." he reached for the menu on the table and flipped it open, more-so for the distraction than actually needing to look at it. "and stop calling us saphael. it's weird. we're not even together." the ​yet​ is unspoken but he hopes - prays, even - that magnus will let it go. he was sure he'd be disappointed. 

clary eyes would go wide at her brother, if she wasn't already so used to his antics. nothing was sacred to her brother - they could discuss hard sex over the family table and nothing would be out of the ordinary. "he calls izzy and i 'clizzy' too. and we're not even together." she flips open her own menu, perusing it althought it is a simple fact. herself and isabelle lightwood were not technically together. 

Simon shakes his head, pointing out the obvious. "you'be basically been together since the night you met. semantics." 

clary "in that case, so have you and raphael." she counters, a little immature. looking up at her best friend with a testing glance. 

magnus rolled his eyes, snapping his fingers to get their full attention. "you're both idiots." 

clary looking at her brother across the table, she leans over and raises an eyebrow. "you say that all the time, magnus." 

Simon rolled his eyes. "no, we're fake together. it's different. and," he pointed at magnus, "i resent that." 

magnus knew that he'd learnt to whistle loudly for a reason, and he did so while ignoring the looks the waitress gave him. "will you two act like the 20 year old adults you are?" nodding, he leaned back on his chair. "i mean it, this time. you're being ridiculously stupid, and i'm here to stop it." 

Simon felt like a chastised child when magnus whistled, shrinking down in his chair to avoid any eyes that were being trained on them. "i don't know what you're talking about." he argued, raising his eyebrows. "who's being stupid?"

clary is startled by both the whistle itself and the volume of it, looking over at her brother. "come on, magnus. don't you think you're overreacting?" she leans back into her chair. "we're taking our time with raphael, and with izzy. there's nothing wrong with that."

magnus snorted at clary, shaking his head and honestly feeling offended at the implication that he was being dramatic, which he wasn't. his face also showed how serious he was, and his eyes travelled from one of his siblings to the other. "you're not taking your time, you're being fucking idiots. ​you​," he nodded at clary. "are so in love it's actually disgusting. but instead of actually getting your shit together and admitting that, you're dancing around the subject for no good goddamned reason and wasting time you could be spending with your ​girlfriend​. and ​​you​​," he shook his head as he turned to simon, arching a brow. "i'm not sure what you're afraid of, exactly, but it would do you some good to get the fuck over it, because like miss genius over there you're just wasting time. you're falling in love with raphael, he's falling for you and the more you fight it, the more you increase the chances of fucking it up. not everyone finds ​the one​, ​asswipes​, but you did. so, get your shit together and hold onto them. ​for fuck's sake​."

Simon knew that magnus' words came from a place of love but that didn't make them any easier to hear. realistically he knew that it was ridiculous to even try to claim that he and raphael were just fake dating, that real feelings hadn't cropped up unexpectedly, but admitting that out loud was another thing all together. instead he shifted uncomfortably under the gaze of someone he considered a brother, avoiding eye contact as he sighed. he ​hated​ it when magnus was right. "i asked him out," he reminded them both, straightening up slightly in his seat. "i'm not - i'm not ​stupid​. i know that maybe there's a chance something could happen, but," he shrugged, "it's too soon to say. i don't want to rush things - or ​screw​ it up. which i'm good at." he added. "really, really, good at. you know this. you both do." 

clary speechlessness overcomes her. in all her life, and having known her brother for most of it, he'd actually suceeded in surprising her. perhaps one of the causes of her speechlessness is also the rational assertion that magnus is right. they're both dancing around the people they're starting to love, and how much they're starting to love them. as if she hadn't actually asked isabelle to be her girlfriend yet. she'll just -- let simon speak for right now as she processes everything she'd previously pushed aside.

magnus pursed his lips at simon and shook his head---- not saying much but hoping he’d get somewhere with him. “simon, i have a clock above my head when it comes to alexander. but you know what? i’ll take the time i can with a person i’m falling in love with, because i don’t want to end up wondering what could have been. don’t be that guy. do you know what the opposite of love is?” 

Simon raised his eyebrows. "first of all, there's no clock above your head - alec ​likes​ you. there's no axe waiting to swing down and," he gestured across his neck, eyes wide, "y'know, off you." but he knew that despite his words, the spotlight wasn't going to be turned off of him. whether he liked it or not, this conversation was happening. "i'm guessing it's not hate - too obvious. maybe indifference?"

magnus waved a hand in the air, dismissing simon's words because he frankly wasn't going to get into that. he'd accepted his fate, and welcomed it if it meant he got some time with alexander. "it's fear. that's the opposite of love. and hey, fear is normal and okay---- god knows i run on a constant stare of fucking panic, but you can't let that shit run your life or you're just going to be miserable. and that's what you're letting it do, and i'm not going to sit here and pat you on the back for it. be afraid, but don't find a way to regret not doing anything for the rest of your life. ​that​ is what breaks people. regret." 20:31

clary she thinks that it will be good for simon to hear all of this in the long run, hell it's even good for her. magnus never told them the things they wanted to hear, but he always told them what they needed to hear. galvanized them to act, or to refrain from acting. and it could kill them or anger them at the time but later, it was always better. "he's right." she finally speaks up. and with that releases a breath. 

Simon resisted the urge to point out that fear was definitely ​not​ the opposite of love - when it came to all things grammar, and logic - because he had a feeling that wasn't the point that he was trying to make. what made matters worse was that he was right and it was a fact that simon had been sidestepping ever since the night he'd met raphael in the campus bar. maybe he was afraid to fall in love - ​really​ fall - and that was why he'd always gone for people he knew there was no chance at a future with. clary, maureen, ​jace​ - feelings destined to fizzle out before they ever became something real. but this was different, and different was terrifying. he didn't need magnus to spell it out plain as day for him to realize that. { or maybe he did, seeing as it had taken him this long to acknowledge it. } "i hate it when magnus is right." simon muttered under his breath, shoulders slumped as he pursed his lips. "i really hate it. like, almost as i much as i hate that movie - what was it, prometheus? it ​ruined​ the alien franchise, you know. there's no forgiving that."

magnus snapped his fingers again, arching an eyebrow at simon that clearly said 'excuse me, back to the conversation'. 

Simon shrugged helplessly. "i said you were right - what more do you want from me?"

magnus sighed, an actual tired sigh, shaking his head. "i want you to get your head out of your ass, simon. i know i'm right, that's not the point of this. the point is that you realise that it's okay to talk about things---- think about it like therapy. you're the one who took me, now you get the backlash." 

Simon wanted to regret that but he couldn't. if this was the price he had to pay to ensure that magnus was taking care of himself, he'd pay it time and again. "joy." he grumbled, a hand coming up to rub at the back of his neck. "i don't know what - hey, why do you ​always​ want to have serious conversations in public? that's weird, buddy. this is a 'in the safety of your own home' kind of conversation. in a safe space, if you will." he looked at clary hoping for some back up, but not expecting to find any. not that he'd blame her - why throw yourself into the fire unnecessarily? "i like him. okay? there, i've said it. i like him. i like him a lot." he swallowed thickly, the reality of the words washing over him like ice cold water, flooding his veins as he struggled to speak. "and that's - he's," a pause, a frustrated hum lodging itself in his throat, "he's one of the best people i've ever met. he's an asshole, don't get me wrong," and he smiled at that, shaking his head fondly, "but even still it's weirdly endearing. i dunno. i'm crazy, he's crazy, it's all - " he fumbled for words, eventually sighing as he muttered out a weak explanation. "...crazy."

magnus smiled fondly, moving to ruffle simon's hair and shrugging. "good. crazy's good, and at least you get to be crazy together. he likes you as much as you like him, simon. trust me on that." his smile shifted into a smirk as he turned to look at his sister. "and you?" 

clary watched simon seemingly struggle to articulate his feelings, not unlike upon the occassion of their own discussion that had fizzled out in light nature about a zombie apocalypse. and their heroism. it can't be easy. and falling in love never is - she knows that. but as she catches simon's glance, and his seeming plea for help, she just reaches over and places her hand over his. a silent form of comfort even if she wasn't ready vocalise her comfort yet, to back him up. to talk about isabelle. isabelle who loves chinese food and names her skeletons and is funny and smart and she can't even begin to articulate how she feels. swallowing when she sees magnus' attention shift to her. "can we order first?" it's a stalling tactic at best. a way to co-ordinate her thoughts. 

magnus smiled wider. "no." 

clary sits back, her hand still resting above simon's, perhaps for the better. "well i need food and water if we're really going to have this conversation so - simon what's good here?"

Simon didn't blame her for deflecting. he could only hope that she was better at it than he was. "the eggplant parmesan is good. so is the veggie lasagna. stay away from anything with tofu in it though - you'd hate it. it's really wiggly." 

clary was glad her best friend was willing to co-operate with her stalling tactics. still trying to ready herself to say that she was falling in love with isabelle. scratch that - she simply couldn't do it. "eggplant parmesan sounds good. what're you having?" she looks at simon and then briefly at magnus. not to poke the bear, as it were. 

Simon replied simply, "same thing. i always get the same thing. originality died with simon lewis, circa 1996."

magnus rolled his eyes, leaning back in his chair. "you're terrible at this, biscuit. hurry up, this shouldn't take all day."

clary starts to feel herself get progressively more nervous. which was not typically clary's disposition. looking at her brother as a tight and closed lipped smile occupied her face for a few moments. "have you decided what you're ordering yet, magnus? we're really just waiting on you." 

magnus shrugged once more, shaking his head with a smile. it was funny to make clary squirm. "i'll have what you're having. that's settled, then?" 

clary shit. her time was officially up. she couldn't think of another even vaguely valid stalling tactic, and it would take a while for their food to come. simon had done it. how hard could it be? "settled." it's only three words for heaven sake - falling in love. just say them. magnus is right, regret is a ruthless demon. 

magnus nodded. "the floor is yours, biscuit." 

clary starts to sit lean forward in her chair again. her shoulders rounded and her spine curved as she does. "izzy makes it really easy to -" to fall in love? the words still sound uncertain in her mind. she doesn't dare to think of how they would sound outloud. "- to like her a lot. she's charming and intelligent and beautiful and funny. and i always end rattling off all of her good qualities." it's short, but sweet. and not entirely a full representation of everything she wants to say. she isn't known for keeping secrets - not often from magnus and never from simon. but there are things to say when the time is right, and at present doesn't feel like the right time. [ and maybe she's still jokingly considering the bet her and simon had constructed. which subsequently, she lost badly. ] 

magnus nodded again, leaning to lay his hand on clary's and squeezing, shooting her a look that let her know she was off the hook for now. but that he knew, and that he knew that she knew too--- but clary wasn't in denial like simon was. "it's endearing, biscuit. just don't be a simon about this, okay?"

Simon frowned. "hey!"

clary feels herself start to relax, not visually but noticeably, as magnus silently assures her that this conversation is over. for now at least. [ she's grateful. she's not sure how she would have responded to another bought of questioning. ] laughing softly at magnus' comment. "hey! simon is perfectly fine." Mar 25

magnus snorted, shrugging his shoulders and moving to pat simon's arm. "he's alright. ish." 

clary laughed softly, shaking her head. "he is more than alright. he is your brother, almost. and my best friend."

[khunvegas]

Saphael Fanfic Rec!

Here are the works I’ve been saving throughout last year since the show first aired and up until this point. Amazing works that show this wonderful pairing and each characterization. All the love to the authors! 

As usual, I couldn’t find some authors’ user names. So, if someone knows the user and tag them, that would be very appreciated

87. Careful is my middle name by tveckling

"And where exactly do you think you're going?"

Raphael's voice came from behind him. Simon hoped his twitching hadn't been too noticeable and turned around with a bright smile that he hoped wasn't too fake. "Just going out."

A Holiday Encounter by @demiromanticmickey

Admittedly, Simon volunteered to help Raphael to try to talk to him, get to know him better. Unfortunately, that wasn't working out so well. It turned out that managing a food drive was a lot harder than Simon had anticipated. And whenever he did try to engage Raphael, he was met with short one word responses before ordering Simon with another task.

A Word Between Two Friends by ofEmeraldStars

“You love him.” It wasn’t a question and Magnus’ voice almost sounded awed by what he said, what he realized, when he looked at his friend at his side whose head snapped to look at him, no longer watching his fledgling.

Answer me (please) by all_their_intricacies

To Simon <3 (3:02 AM): i love you  

To Simon <3 (3:03 AM): so fucking much

Appreciation of art by @fangtasticsaphael

He managed to sit on the bench for at least ten minutes before his phone was in his hand and he started browsing Twitter for anything entertaining before updating his account with a Clary abandoned me in the art museum once again message with a sad emoji before he decided to take a silly selfie for Instagram to kill some more time. Just when he took the photo and the camera sound went off - of course, he forgot to mute his damn phone when he went into the museum, fuck - a shadow fell on his form.

Baby, I'm not made of stone by izzyasavestheday (stilessexual)

“Did I ever tell you that we feel everything? The clan, I mean. If I focus enough, I can tell you who’s sad and who’s angry and who hasn’t been sleeping properly. I can tell you who’s been having nightmares. There are no secrets here.”

(Fix-it fic)

Baby's First Steps by Luuna (you_know_them_trees)

Simon wasn't flustered, he really wasn't. And Raphael checking up on him all the time wasn't a big deal. It wasn't like he had a crush or something.

It might have been true... if only Raphael stopped calling him baby.

Before I ever met you by izzyasavestheday (stilessexual)

“You know that moment,” he said “when you wake up and turn over to put your arms around someone –someone you love, someone who means everything to you.” Magnus’ expressive eyes were soft, soft, soft. “Oh, Simon.” “I feel so alone,” Simon whispered. “Not in the post-Clary sort of way, either. In the way that I’m supposed to wake up to someone and they’re not there.” “I’m missing something,” Simon went on, voice cracking. “I’m missing someone but no matter how hard I try I just can’t fucking remember.”

Bitter Sweet by @abluelightinthedark 

“I… I’m sorry. You just looked like the typ of person who drinks their coffee black.“ Simon stutters and rubs his neck, trying to hide the shaking of his hands. “What do you want then?“

The guy actually smirks at him and lets his eyes wander over Simon for a moment, before he answers.

“What I want from you would be really inappropriate to say out loud in here…“ he trails of for a moment, letting the words sink in and then smirks even wider when Simon flushes bright red in the matter of seconds. “But for the coffee, I would like a caramel macchiato.“

Or

The one where everybody thinks that Simon has a sweet tooth and Raphael loves the bitter stuff, but it's actually vise versa.

Bleed out in my veins by @eversall

How do you stop loving someone? How do you separate your world from theirs, when you’ve been on a collision course since you were six and sharing crayons, your smiles so intertwined that death doesn’t separate you? How do you say goodbye? You don’t, Simon thinks dizzily, dropping to his knees in front of Raphael. You say hello to someone else.

Breathing Is A Side Effect Of Being Alive by booksandanime

When you're alive, your heart beats, your breath catches and comes in gasps, you age and fall in love and die.

When you're undead, your heart pantomimes beating, you gasp for air that isn't needed, you never age, you fall in love, you stay together if you decide to.

This is a story of how Simon Lewis let go of normalcy and thoughts of being a monster in favor of falling in love with Raphael Santiago. (It's not a bad trade, really.)

Brooklyn, brooklyn, take me in by psyches

Honestly, no matter which way you put it, telling anyone you live in a hotel is pretty fucking weird, and it’s not like Raphael has the excuse of a twin brother or a singer mother who works there or the wacky hijinks that ensue.

Or: a brief look at Raphael in a world where Shadowhunters no longer need to exist.

Call me, maybe? by @fangtasticsaphael 

"You're not planning on giving him a plain black shirt for a few hundred bucks, right?" Raphael asked when his best friend was about to enter one of the fancier clothing stores the mall had to offer and the other raised an eyebrow at him.

"I'm not planning on buying him a black shirt at all."

"All he ever wears is black. The most colourful your boy gets is wearing grey," he commented dryly and his lips curled into a smirk when Magnus huffed, unable to disagree because Alec really didn't wear any other colours. If black and grey could even be considered a colour.

"Well, that's why I brought you because you always wear clothes as dark as your soul and might actually be helpful in this case," Magnus replied sweetly and glanced at the store before looking back at his shorter friend questioningly.

Candy Kisses by @abluelightinthedark

Three times Raphael doesn't enjoy Simon's kisses + the one time he craves more

Coffee & Spanish by ofEmeraldStars

Simon's eyes land on his good looking guy at the table next to him and when he and his table partner start talking in Spanish Simon find this as the perfect opportunity to test out his Spanish knowledge.

Cookin' up love by @moonlightmaia

“Simon! Dios mío, what the hell?” Simon dropped the fire extinguisher, a sheepish look on his face. The stove behind him covered in smoke and fire extinguisher gas. “Uh, I was just, uh, trying to make dinner?” Sure, Simon wasn’t a great cook, but he certainly wouldn’t consider himself a horrible cook, Raphael’s kitchen was just… very different from what Simon was used to using. Raphael was a professional and so was his kitchen.

Devotion’s desire. by @saphaeldaily

a character study of raphael santiago and how nothing goes the way he wants.

side of simon/raphael.

Disasters that lead to pretty boys (are worth it) by gayinsight

"My friend is out of town and I’m supposed to be taking care of her pet fish but it died and you work at the pet store help me find one that looks the same so she won’t notice!"

Don't just leave it all up to chance by @accordingtomel

“Shut up, Jace,” Izzy commands, glaring at him before turning her attention back to Simon. “Okay, so you know how Clary and I are in charge of the Senior Prom Fundraiser?”

“Oh yeah, sure?”

“And you know how we told you we had everything totally covered?” Clary adds.

Simon glances over at Jace in confusion, but Jace just shrugs.

“Well, we kind of need some help now,” Izzy says.

“What kind of help?” Simon asks slowly.

Magnus snorts like he can’t help himself, which means that he must know what's going on too.

Silence falls over the table for a moment too long before Clary finally comes out with it. “We need you to take a shift at the kissing booth.”

***

Simon gets roped into working at a kissing booth. The consequences, however, are much better than he could've ever expected.

Fight Me On That by @themadtilde

"Well, someone must tell you the straight fact that Gandfalf beats that old wimp Dumbledore so hard that Dumbledore wouldn't even have a chance if they were to duel."

Simon's anger, that slowly had stopped boiling, quickly flamed up again.

"Oh yeah?" he hissed heatedly, slamming his cup down on the table and standing up to be eye-to-eye with Raphael. "Well, fight me on that!"

And then, before Simon could really comprehend what he just had said, he was lying on the floor with Raphael hovering over him, and he felt a throbbing pain in his skull.

(inspired by the tumblr post one day im gonna say "fight me!" and someone's just gonna fuckin deck me

Fire and Gasoline by @degrassi-fanatic

“Those two are like fire and gasoline.”

That’s what everyone said about them.Raphael Santiago was a fire and, Simon Lewis was the gasoline that only further fueled the other. ---- “I’m in love with you.” he came out as barely a whisper.If Simon didn’t have vampire enhanced hearing, he might’ve not heard that.

Forever isn't too long, when i'm right where i belong by moriartyscupoftea

Raphael sat on the living room chair, the cup of tea Magnus had practically forced on him balanced on his knee, while Magnus himself was slouched on the sofa, laughing. "You," he wheezed in between hysterical fits of giggles, "are going to propose? ToSimon?" Raphael pursed his lips, praying for strength from anyone.

Gazing into your eyes, I know I'm home by ofEmeraldStars

Simon didn't expect for Raphael to corner him in the abandoned building, but yet there he was pinning him on the spot with his intense gaze.

How to make your local clan leader blush by scalira

Simon realizes vampires are capable of blushing after he sees Raphael getting flustered, and after that it becomes his mission to get Raphael to blush again.

I dont understand Quidditch (or Love) by @slytherinsimon

Simon Lewis is a Hufflepuff that seriously needs to pay more attention around him. Especially the part where he thinks that his best friend, Hufflepuff seeker Clary Fairchild is secretly dating his Slytherin chaser crush, Raphael Santiago.

I Hope So Too by @bathildahotshot

Simon's not in love with Raphael.

I know what you are (say it) bisexual by thankyouforexisting

Simon tells himself,

It’s not gay, it’s not gay, I’m totally not checking him out, he just had that stain on his right trouser leg….

Raphael is, apparently, a rich as fuck vampire, because the suit shop they go in is fancy as hell. They park in the basement, because, uh, sunlight, and even though dusk has fallen it’s better to be safe than sorry (sorry meaning dead). Raphael keeps smirking, which does nothing to help Simon’s inner mantra that consists of

I’m straight, I’m straight holy fuck is he licking his lip- I’m straight..

“This,” the vampire announces as they walk into the shop, smiling faintly, looking, almost for the first time since Simon’s met him, as if he’s relaxed, “is the greatest place in the world, Simon Lewis.”

He looks at him then, grinning, eyes dark, shining, looking more polished than ever but somehow oddly vulnerable, and Simon’s breath hitches, his insides turning to goo.

His mantra becomes

Let me not jump him, or, at least, not in public..

I Watch It All From A Far (heaven help me) by @geckette

Clary took a sip from her coffee before putting it back down, her face slipping from confused to serious. “Simon. Are you serious? You didn’t know?”

Simon sputtered, his fancy pastry that cost him a pretty penny of 5.78$ flying everywhere from his mouth. Of course, the one time he decides to spend money it gets wasted. “Clary. Oh my god. Clary, I’m dating Raphael."

Based Off This Prompt: Saphael, College roommates AU who find that they have been totally boyfriends for months and hadn´t even realized. Brownie points for cuddling!

If i ever had your number, i think i would use it by @eversall

“Er.” Simon says, but that seems to be enough. “Simon?” Raphael asks. “The one and only.” He says weakly, making jazz hands even though he knows Raphael can’t see them. “Heyyy, Raphael.” “You – why is your number in the Pandemonium bathroom?” . It starts because Jace and Simon get drunk together one night without Clary, and since Clary serves as about eighty-five percent of their impulse control they’re hammered within two hours and ready to implement all of their Very Bad Ideas, the ones that are horrifying enough to make Alec grind his teeth and potentially slap them upside the head.

If you wanna find love then you know where the city is by @eversall

Simon comes back to them immediately. He’s pounding on the door the next night, and Raphael stiffens as he smells the scent of the fledgling. “I’ll go get him.” Lily says, and runs off, her face harsh with anger. She appears a second later, hauling the boy by his collar. His face is ashen with fear – Simon is no good at hiding his feelings. What was it he’s said before? He was born afraid? And his eyes are dark and beautiful, just like always, and Raphael wants to shake him until he understands what heartbreak feels like. . Of course Simon comes back, and of course Raphael is still unbearably in love with him.

In all that's left of you and me by igniteyourbones

how the saphael reunion really went down.

--

“You look awful.”

“Thank you, Raphael, really. This is truly the touching reunion I had imagined for us,” Simon says, ignoring the fact that he’d imagined several possibilities but all of them had ended in Raphael ripping him to pieces.

It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time by heartsdesire456

Simon ends up in the ER after a drunken dare and meets the potential love of his life.

It's a small crime and I've got no excuse by mostlikelydefinentlymad

Raphael's other half is sat across from a beautiful girl with auburn curls and a copy of Jane Eyre on the table.

He's gesturing at a gray box and giving away a smile that once belonged to mid-afternoons spent tracing the contours of Simon's body, laughter seeping into the halls of the hotel.

Kindred by White_Marker

Once, hidden in the dark and uncharacteristically intimate for both of them, Raphael had mimicked Simon’s movement in bed, inch by inch, like a game. Simon burst out laughing, pulling an outlandish face, and gripped Raphael’s chin. Raphael reached out and pinched his chin in return.

They lifted each other’s faces, moving it left and right, leaned in and pressed their foreheads together. They let go and traced a finger slowly from their collarbone to their belly button.

Like a challenge, they held each other’s eyes, all traces of humor gone.

For a little while, Simon and Raphael felt as if they were mirrors of some kind. Opposite, but the same.

Soon after, though Simon hadn’t made the connection, the first flicker of blue had appeared.

a.k.a.

 Soulmate AU where you slowly start seeing color. Let the angst begin!

Like a halo in reverse by @gilmarverdes

The feeling began to become home. More of a home than vampirism would ever be. He'd stand alone, attempt God, and feel the pain. This is how it is, this is what I deserve, this is what I have become. I am this now. I will always be this. I deserve to hurt—

Until the day that God finally left his lips and remained in his throat, no choking, no burning. Just Raphael and God, severed.

Simon, on the other hand...

"Raphael," he whispers, "I'm so sorry. I thought—"

Raphael feels a twist in his stomach. It is a feeling that he hasn't experienced in a very long time. He needs to lead the clan, he needs to give them justice, but he's alone with Simon, most secure room in the Hotel DuMort like a past life, and all that he can feel is want, hunger, need. There is no room for justice in human want. It's sick. Raphael is very, very sick; this is the only explanation for the humanness, the only explanation for the twists. 

"Do it again," Raphael says, his entire being turning into a betrayal right against Simon's body. "I need you."

Livin' just to find emotion by @joanthangroff

When Simon has to transfer to another school - the DuMort Academy -, the only thing that could save him from going mad would be to join the school's Glee club. Of course, life is not as easy as it could be, and he is denied to join just yet. He somehow manages to persuade the club's leader, Raphael, to prepare him so he can join in the next semester.

Mail for Ezekiel by @fangtasticsaphael

"Hey, buddy," Simon greeted the animal and reached out, gently scratching behind the dog's ear. Ezekiel tilted his head, playfully nudging the man's lower arm and stared up at him in clear anticipation. He huffed out a soft laugh and reached into the pocket of his light jacket, presenting the dog with a thin postcard with the message "Mail for Ezekiel" with two hearts scrawled next to it and beneath it he had written "have a dog-tastic day". Ezekiel seemed pleased as usual and ran off with his delivery while the off-duty-postman turned around to leave.

Master of pillow forts by @fangtasticsaphael 

"What do you think you're doing, idiota?" Raphael asked wearily and frowned at the other's surprised yelp, followed by a pained sound when Simon dropped the heavy book right on his sock-clad foot. He quickly picked the book up again before directing his wide-eyed gaze at the clan leader who stared back at him with the most unimpressed expression possible.

"You're back already?"

"Obviously." Raphael's expression was a mix of disinterest and boredom but his gaze swept over the things strewn across the room in a silent order to answer his question instead of stating the obvious.

Never just that simple by @fangtasticsaphael 

"It's not fake concern. I...I know I've been preoccupied with my own problems and that I didn't...that I didn't think much of the consequences or of...of the position you're in," Simon mumbled sheepishly, hands pushed into the pockets of his hoodie and head lowered while trying to keep up with Raphael's quick steps. It was actually pretty difficult to stick close to the clan leader despite the vampire speed because Simon still wasn't fully used to it and he could more quickly but not as smoothly and effortlessly looking as Raphael.

"The position you put me in," Raphael bit out, correcting Simon's statement with a bitterness that seemed to cut right through the slightly foggy air.

Not Actually Homophobic by @mymalecshinesbright

Raphael was extremely confused. Extremely. He didn’t understand this. He had never felt this before, and yet here he was, feeling it and he didn’t know where it was coming from. But it was here and now he had to deal with the fact that he was apparently homophobic because the sight of seeing his roommate kissing another boy made him want to vomit.

Not Like I Care by ChangeForTheBetter

Simon gets sexiled and seeks refuge in Raphael's room. (Again.)

But maybe Raphael doesn't mind so much.

Of all of the faces, you were the one next to me by  mostlikelydefinentlymad

//if I love you // is that a fact // or a weapon

Of Sleep Deprivation And First Kisses (Or, How Tea Solves Problems) by PossiblyNobody

“You’re my roommate who’s super cute and it’s the middle of the night and you’re cramming for your exams in your flannel pajamas and disheveled hair and it’s becoming increasingly hard for me not to kiss you” AU.

Saphael Tumblr Prompt

On the List of Things (Read: People) Simon Thought He’d Never Do by @rainybookshop

Obviously Simon had missed the memo about his sexual orientation, but he can’t help thinking there might have been smarter ways to find out than by letting himself be seduced by someone who sort of scares the shit out of him.

One cup of coffee (is all it takes to fall in love) by @abluelightinthedark

Simon walks into the Starbucks in only a thin shirt, because he’s an idiot and forgot to take his jacket with him in the middle of november, and opens his mouth to greet his friends, but they are not there. Instead there’s another dude standing behind the counter, his green apron doing nothing to hide his beautiful body and sadly neither his grumpy expression.

Paved paradise by @simonxraph

Not only has Raphael stolen his parking spot and infiltrated his friend group, now he knows that Simon thinks he’s attractive.

Please Daddy by TrickyVicky3

Simon wilts under the pressure, but needing to have the last word he replies sarcastically, “Sure thing Dad”.

Raphael’s eyes widen “What did you just call me?” Simon looks up at him, placing the now empty glass back on the table in front of him as he licks fresh blood off his lips, “Dad, y’know, Daddy, cos like you’re making me –“

Raphael waves his hands in front of Simon “Please stop” he looks around uncomfortably before speeding away.

Professor knows it all! by @shadowhunterships

I saw a prompt on tumblr : I usually talk to my friends through sign language in class but… apparently you know sign language too… and now you know I think your butt is cute.Simon secretly loves Professor Raphael's butt and accidentally spills his secret to the professor himself!

Rhododendrons by @gilmarverdes

Part of him was hoping that he would never have to see Simon again; you rip the bandage off fast so it's less painful, you stitch up the wound quick so it's less painful, you let it heal slowly. These things take time.

But - who was he kidding, he's going to be entwined with Simon until the end of time, it seems. Quite literally.

Set me free by @fangtasticsaphael

His dark hair stuck against his forehead in wet, messy curls and every annoyed huff showed in form of a little white cloud leaving his lips and disappearing into the sky. He was a supernatural being but it was obviously too much to ask for some kind of immunity against the temperatures. Sure, he had to appear human but that didn't mean he basically had to be human.

"Just find the target, make the guy fall in love with the girl and the freezing is over," Raphael mumbled to himself through chattering teeth and pushed his hands deeper into the pockets of his hoody. At least he couldn't get sick but this didn't make the weather any more comfortable. His whole body seemed to be slowed down and stinging from the cold, icy wind pulling at the material of his jeans and the hoody he wore over his t-shirt, his boots kicking up snow with every step.

Shattered hearts by @fangtasticsaphael

"You can't say it back. Why haven't you said so earlier? All the other times I said it? I thought you just weren't ready yet but if you already know you can't love me, why not say it outright instead of leading me on?!" Raphael tried to hide the pain and anger swirling in his chest, masking his emotions with a cold mask.

Magnus had warned him, told him it was a bad choice to start something with Simon because the guy had almost managed to two-time and even if he had been 16 at the time, he still seemed so very undecided when it came to his love life. He clearly couldn't make up his mind about what he wanted, not back then and not now. Raphael had known it was a risk and he had to fight down the urge to place the blame on himself - to revert back to the thinking that maybe him being asexual and aromantic was the reason why Simon couldn't commit to this.

The one person he developed romantic feelings for, the one person he actually fell in love with, and here they were, apparently about to break up on Valentine's Day. It felt like a big, cosmic joke and Raphael suddenly felt so damn tired.

Shelter by @fangtasticsaphael

"I know you're about to close but maybe I could get a coffee?" Simon asked and his voice almost broke on a few words. He squinted a little because of the beads of water on his glasses that probably blurred his sight but Raphael could see that his dark eyes were mostly unfocused behind the smudged spectacles.

"You look like you rather need some tea and a bed," he commented dryly and rounded the counter to walk up to the door, flip the sign and then the lock as well. Raphael didn't care that they were supposed to be open for 20 more minutes. Nobody came in at this hour anyway and Simon's current state was a more pressing matter anyway.

"So, that's a no? You do realise I can't leave when you lock the door, though, right?"

Simon was fidgeting and raised his arm to hide a cough in the crook of his elbow, the sound muffled by the wet material of the hoodie he was wearing - not exactly the right choice of clothing for October if you asked Raphael.

Sign of the times by @joanthangroff

When Raphael is hit by a mysterious spell, Simon has to teach him how to be human.

Simon la Exploradora by RaphaelSantiago

Five Spanish words Simon learnt from watching Dora the Explorer, and the times he said them to Raphael.

Strange crossings. by @sadlyamundane

The universe works in strange ways, maybe that's why Magnus cancelled dinner with Raphael, maybe that's why Simon's blind date doesn't go as planned.

What ever it was, this was definitely the universe crossing their paths.

Sweetheart by @fangtasticsaphael

"It's Valentine's Day, someone probably just wanted to lighten the mood," Lily commented with a shrug and it might have been a slightly weird thing to do so with almost insulting messages on pastel coloured candy hearts but most clan members did think they were funny and a few had actually started a competition about who could find the most hearts - and the ones with the best messages.

"There's one with lol no balanced on top of the picture frame in the main hall. I have no idea how they even got it up there," Elliott informed them while strolling into the room and he stopped behind the couch, right next to Simon's shoulder who tilted his head back and blinked up at the other vampire frowning at him.

"You have one stuck in your hood," the other informed him and before Simon could react he had already snatched it up, eyebrows rising when his eyes read the message on the piece of candy.

Te Extraño (I Miss You) by andy_ros3

To Clary: I don’t think I can do this Clary. Is this even a good idea?? From Clary: Simon you have to do this. For yourself. Don’t worry, no matter what happens I’m here for you. To Clary: You’re right, thanks Clary. Omg we just pulled up outside the club. From Clary: Go inside and stop freaking out. To Clary: I’m not freaking out To Clary: I know your eyebrows are raised. Okay, yes, I’m freaking out. I miss him and I want him and I don’t know why he invited me here. It’s been 3months and 16 days Clary. Why now? Why would he wait so long to contact me for whatever reason? Why was I such an idiot? Oh god what if it’s just to return something I left at his or what if he tells me he’s met someone new and he’s moved on. From Clary: Simon stop. Stop overthinking this and go inside. Simon is about to text back to delay entering PanDEMONium but Clary beats him to it. She knows him too well. From Clary: You’re going to be fine, just go. Simon enters PanDEMONium expecting it to be the usual vibrant, enthralled and booming place but it’s empty apart from a grand black piano where Raphael sits playing a few notes. Simon knows he does that when he’s nervous.

Tendons too torn to beg (for you to let me back in) by @gilmarverdes

What hurts the most, the thing that makes him really ache, is how familiar he is with Simon. He knows the way that Simon smells; sickly, because every fledgling smells sickly, but with Simon it’s all different. Simon smells like – life, like something sick coming back to life. Like hope crawling out of its grave.

 He knows the way that Simon sounds; the unnecessary breaths, the way that his voice mumbles when he talks because he still hasn’t gotten used to his fangs, the wrong thing in his mouth, and the way that he taps his fingers, the exact sound that he makes when he wakes up in the morning. A yawn like a wolf’s howl.

 But worst of all, he knows the way that Simon feels.

The Game of Life by raphaelsontiago

“Why is school so damn expensive?” He grumbled, putting his money back in the bank.

“Maybe it’s because you have six cars full of kids, mi sol?” Raphael smirked and Simon wanted to throw the board across the room.

“It’s not my fault I got stuck with such a big family!” He protested. Raphael chuckled quietly and bit his lip.

“You know, a big family wouldn’t be all bad. Six cars of kids would be a bit of a hassle, but I think four or five kids would be nice.” Raphael’s gaze dropped to the floor and Simon nearly choked.

Raphael was asking to have a family with him.

 or, the one where simon and raphael play life but they spend more time talking than playing the game

The Morning After by simonsantiago

Simon sits up and stares at Raphael’s back. “Are we…uh…dating now?”

“No,” Raphael says and Simon’s stomach sinks. “I don't date people who don’t let me sleep.”

The Path To Self-Discovery by @killjoyrow

Simon is the kind of bright, happy guy who needs everyone to be frends with him. Raphael would prefer to have no friends and save himself the headache.

In theory, they're far better off as distant colleagues - the contrast between them akin to day and night.

In reality, despite claiming to hate each other, the two couldn't be more perfect. It might just take them a little while to realise it.

The Punishment Fits The Crime by  Hailhydration

When daylighter Raphael Santiago is forced to kill a rogue Warlock, the warlock's deranged lover curses him to never have a happy ending. Whoever falls in love with the vampire is destined to die if they touch him. To Raphael, who has long viewed himself as unlovable, this seemed like nothing. Of course, he didn't count on the persistent idiot known as Simon Lewis.

The Thing Is by foggynelson

The thing is: Raphael doesn’t want to love Simon. The thing is: he does anyway.

There is in it, the idea of the fall by scalira

“Angels touched by man cannot stay divine, Raphael. I thought I was very clear on that matter.”

And Raphael knows. He knows. But when he thinks about letting Simon touch him, about his lips pressing down on his, about his fingers tracing his skin, Raphael does not feel doomed. He does not feel tainted.

He feels infinite. He feels bigger than himself.

He feels… he feels human.

This is not what I dreamt it would be by @flying-on-the-wind

Raphael Santiago had always known that his soulmate would not be anything like what his mother had dreamt for him. Simon Lewis, on the other hand, had always dreamt of a soulmate that was nothing like what he got. But are dreams all that important? When real life is a thing that happens, and that you get to actually live?

This is the second part of a series in which soulmates are found upon the touch of skin. Each part will have a different pairing at it's centre, though all three are linked and together they form a fuller story.

Through Hell or High Water by @shadowcastershq

When Clary drags Simon to his local pool, he’s immediately smitten with the gorgeous but completely unapproachable lifeguard.

Till the sun comes up by @aleclwb

Simon takes a deep breath. “71.”

Clary gapes at him. “71?”

“Yes,” Simon snaps, “Yes, Clary, my number is 71. It’s right there,” he waves her wrist around, a little too aggressively, so it’s actually impossible to read. “The seven and the one. 71. My soulmate’s going to be 71 when we meet.”

Or, everyone has a number on their wrist that indicates how old their soulmate will be when they meet. Simon is trying to deal with the fact that his is abnormally high. It turns out not to be such a bad thing, after all.

Turnabout is Fair Play by @accordingtomel

“Uh, Raph?”

Raphael glances over at Simon with raised brows, using a finger to hold the place in the book he’s reading and shifting his attention towards him.

“Is there a reason that Magnus is sending you pictures of him and Alec kissing?”

Simon turns the phone around to show Raphael said picture.

“I think the better question is why you’re reading my text messages in the first place,” Raphael says, and reaches his free hand out, gesturing for the phone.

***

In an attempt to annoy Raphael, Magnus starts sending increasingly adorable pictures of him and Alec kissing. However, it's Simon who comes up with the perfect solution to get him back.

Until We Say "I Do" by heartsdesire456

When they had become engaged, it had been like a switch had flipped with their mothers. They were still very happy for them and they both were waiting with open arms to welcome the other into the family. No, the problem was not dislike.

The problem was that for some reason, the minute a ring came into the picture, both Raphael’s mother and Simon’s mother somehow immediately and independently became obsessed with their son’s future husband converting to their religion.

Upheaval by crystalclark94

Simon, well, he has the most unusual / off the beaten path twist of words etched across his ribs that he’s ever heard of. The font is an elegant black crawl with perfectly dainty pretty loops and swirls, and it says “Dios, I’m going to eat you if you don’t shut up!”

Variation on the word (sleep) by mostlikelydefinentlymad

"You can stare at me later you complete sap, come'ere." Simon pats the bed, awaiting the slight dip of the mattress. Raphael remains where he is, adoring.

Simon grumbles into his pillow about romantic vampires and kicking Raphael out to sleep on the sofa if he doesn't get his ass in bed.

Warmth & Light by foggynelson

“I’m cute, huh?”

“Oh shut up,” Simon says, lifting his heading up and looking at Raphael. “You’re absolutely gorgeous and you fucking know it.”

Wear my heart a little louder by @eversall

Raphael sucks in a sharp, unnecessary breath, eyes snapping up to meet Simon’s gaze, and he sounds, for the first time, the way Simon feels; like he’s coming apart at the seams with no hope of being pulled back together. Simon looks away, wants to backtrack and erase his temporary moment of weakness, because he’s not allowed to have that. . It always comes back to this - Simon trying to run away but being rooted to the spot by everything that lies between them.

When “You mean nothing“ turns into “You mean everything“ by @abluelightinthedark

There are two ways someone can whisper into your ear with their lips against your neck.

For one, it can be sweet, gentle, soft, hot, pleasant. A warmth, the feeling of being loved, someone taking care of you, kisses, relationships, compliments.

And then there are the times it’s threatening. A knife against your throat, death so close in front of you, fear. You feel scared, uncomfortable, want to cry. Screaming, kicking, then staying still, shaking, hurting, hoping, praying.

Simon unfortunately had to experience both ways in his rather short period of living.

The thing is, it was the same person every time.

Where my heart and future lies by scalira

Raphael hasn't been home for the holidays in years. Still being haunted by a tragedy that happened years ago, he isn't planning on visiting this year either. Until he gets a very persuasive email from a very angry man named Simon Lewis.

Where There is Fire by CastingMoonlight

Raphael is patient when Simon spirals into despair.

Because Raphael knows, and now Simon knows, and Fairchild will never understand what she did to him in the name of love.

Words of the prophets are written on the subway walls by @joanthangroff

After a fight with his current roommate Raphael Santiago is left with moving in with his old friend Magnus Bane. Naturally, this means lots of headaches for him and weird people stepping into his life.

You were always gold to me by mostlikelydefinentlymad

They take away the good in Raphael and reduce him to teeth like talons, a heart of stone. They don't even have to say the words when his name comes up - "He's a monster."

No, Simon wants to say. You've never witnessed him stripped bare, armor lying at his feet with a softness in his eyes that makes Simon want to turn away. But they were present when the high walls around his heart became a weapon. They heard the words "Kill them" and glossed over what wasn't being said - 'Of all the people, why did it have to be you? I wanted you to stay.' Nor did they hear the full extent of Simon's betrayal, how it cut straight into tendons where it bled the most - 'Is it too late to go back?'

They cannot see the gold in him.

You’re an asshole, Mr Santiago! by @fangtasticsaphael

He heard the sound again and it made his hair stand on end because the creaky wood noise sounded like someone walking very slowly, dragging their feet with every step and it was like right out of a horror movie. Simon suppressed the ridiculous urge to go knock on the door to his mother’s and sister’s room but he also felt like these sounds were far from normal and what if ghosts were real after all?! It was the middle of the night, he was still tired and his brain did not function properly - he was allowed to think stupid shit!

Simon couldn’t tell why it seemed like a good idea to snatch up his key and leave his room but that was exactly what he did. Not to investigate the creepy sounds, he knew how such things turned out and he didn’t have a death wish, but to get further away from the noises. The dimmed lights in the hallway made the old hotel look even eerier and a few steps away from his door he severely regretted the decision to leave his room. He turned around to head back, saw a dark silhouette at the other end of the hallway that definitely moved and…he bolted. No.fucking.way!

You're in the right place by ghostfacers 

Simon Lewis is an average high school teacher just trying to make sure the future generation gets there. He never asked to get his room moved next to the one guy in the whole school who probably hates him the most. That's all Luke's fault.

You're the one that I want by @sadlyamundane 

“Hypothetically” Simon said pushing his Spanish text book away, he leaned back in his hair and watched as Raphael chewed on the bottom of his pen in concentration. “Hypothetically” Raphael repeated, propping his head up on his hand to show that he was listening. “If I liked someone, but I don’t” Simon hastily said when Raphael quirked an eyebrow “but if I did and I wanted to know if that person likes me back, what do I do?”

For more Saphael Fanfics

[lovelypercabeth2016]

The Angel & The Donkey (A Saphael fic)

Find here on AO3 - http://archiveofourown.org/works/8685538 Kid fix. 8 year old Raphael & 9 year old Simon. In a Play. "Are you still angry about your costume?" Simon asked tentatively and reached out to curl his finger's around his best friend's hand, tugging gently to hopefully get Raphael to look at him again. "Costume? This is a dress! I'm a guy!" Raphael complained, his voice laced with as much indignation as an 8-year-old could muster. Arms crossed in front of his chest, he glared at his costume. The costumes had been supposed to be delivered a week ago but there had been some difficulties and now they had only gotten them on the day of the school play and there was no option to change anything about it now. "Imagine it's just a very long shirt and not a dress?" Simon suggested and he felt a little helpless because he wanted to make his best friend feel better but didn't know how. Raphael had been so ecstatic when he got the role of the angel in the Christmas story, the one who appeared to the Shepherds, Joseph and Mary. He had been happy about the role because not only was it important but Raphael himself was named after an angel, the archangel Raphael, and therefore he worked hard to earn this role. "But it still looks like a dress and boys aren't supposed to wear dresses," Raphael said with a pout and he was clearly distressed about his costume. Simon squeezed Raphael's hand gently with his tiny fingers before letting go and wrapping his arms around the shorter boy. "It's okay for boys to wear a dress sometimes and you're playing a role so it's the angel wearing this, not you," he tried to soothe his best friend's sorrow and pressed a soft kiss to the other's cheek, smiling against his warm, soft skin. "And besides, you will look so much prettier in a dress than any girl ever could!" Raphael tried to stay mad at the situation but Simon's comment caused him to snort softly and he glanced at his best friend, the lanky 9-year-old with the too big glasses that always tried to slip off his nose and the goofiest smile he had ever seen. "That sounds kind of gay," Raphael pointed out but it was clearly teasing and not insulting. Simon stuck his tongue out and pressed another, more slobbery, kiss to his best friend's cheek who made a disgusted sound and tried to squirm out of the surprisingly tight embrace. "If thinking that my bestest friend is pretty and loving him makes me gay, so be it. Gay also means happy anyway and I'm really, really happy to have you as my best friend," Simon commented almost loftily, chin raised to look down on Raphael even more than he already did with the few inches he was already taller than the other. The other raised one of his expressive eyebrows before his face finally lit up with laughter bubbling up in his chest. "You're so ridiculous. And, for the record, I don't care which kind of gay you are because you will always be my best friend," Raphael said, still laughing, and now it was his turn to press a kiss to the other's cheek. "Come on, get in your dress, my angelic bestest friend. The teacher said we want to practice again before the performance and she will get mad if we show up too late," Simon finally sighed and then simply grabbed the hem of Raphael's shirt to pull it over his head and then grabbed the angel costume to hand it to the other boy. "And look on the bright side - at least you're not playing a donkey," he added with a laugh and grabbed for the tail that was pinned to his own behind, lightly hitting Raphael with the soft material. "The animals are an important part of the story as well and you're a cute donkey, Si." Raphael showed one of his genuine, warm smiles that always made Simon feel all tingly and warm inside. He grinned at the younger boy before poking the dress that Raphael held pressed to his chest. "Get dressed or this cute donkey will kick your angel butt!" Simon threatened without any heat and laughed gleefully when Raphael stuck his tongue out at him in return before flipping him off and finally pulling the damn dress over his head. Guadalupe enveloped both Raphael and Simon in a big hug after the play, mumbling praise in Spanish to both of them and peppering their foreheads and cheeks in kisses. "Mamá, alto, por favor," Raphael complained but he was unable to suppress a chuckle and it was obvious he didn't really mind the affection and praise at all. "You boys were so good up there, I'm really proud of you," Guadalupe said for what felt like the hundredth time and Simon smiled brightly. When they finished the play and stood up on stage, bowing to the applause, there had been a brief moment where he felt utterly sad about the realisation that his mother wasn't here once again and therefore also didn't bring his older sister to watch him play. Ever since his dad had the accident a few years ago, his mum had started working more and he knew it was to pay for everything and have money for food but Simon still felt disappointed because work always kept her from visiting events at his school. But he never told her about it or complained and when she said she was sorry for missing out again, Simon patted her head and told her it was okay. And it was mostly okay because at least he always had Raphael by his side and his best friend's mother always attended everything, sometimes with and sometimes without Raphael's four younger brothers. "Your mum called me right before the play started and told me she couldn't make it, that there's still a lot to do at work. She's really sorry and asked me to take a photo of you boys in your costumes for her," Guadalupe said, addressing Simon with a motherly smile, and the boy nodded with a sigh before his brilliant smile returned and he grabbed Raphael's hand to pull him back so that Guadalupe could take a few photos of them still in their costumes. They even exchanged their head gears for one of the photos and couldn't stop laughing at the sight of Raphael in his angel outfit with floppy donkey ears stuck to his head and Simon in his donkey costume with a wobbly halo hovering above his unruly mop of hair. Of course, Simon was still a little sad his mother didn't see him play but he wasn't mad at her and at least he could spend some more time with Raphael and Guadalupe this way because they went out for dinner after changing back into their own clothes and in the end Simon was even allowed to spend the night at the Santiago's. Nothing was better at chasing off lingering sadness than curling up in a warm bed with your best friend wrapped around you.