#i might just take the chance honestly
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"Oh no, someone's attracted to the aesthetics of my -punk movement but doesn't know the praxis and history behind it like I do--"
OK. Tell them. Make it a teaching moment. Everyone who's in your movement learned the background from somewhere at some point, maybe this is that point for that person. Give them a jumping off point that they can dive into later.
"Oh but I shouldn't be responsible for teaching baby -punks about the history and the how-tos and--"
OK. Then don't tell them. You don't have to be responsible for teaching people with a budding interest in your group the ins and outs and how-tos. That's fair and valid! It can be a lot of work. Someone else will handle it
"But I'm annoyed that they would try to claim to be part of/be interested in my community without knowing all the details that I know after being in it for months/years/decades, they're dumb, they're posers, they're--"
OK. Then don't engage with them, if it's that bad. Maybe someone else will come around and tell them the history, maybe they'll pick it up on their own, maybe they'll just enjoy the fashion elements for awhile.
"But they shouldn't claim to be part of the -punk community if they don't know the--"
I feel like we have a few options here. People can either talk to them, share the history, share the values, share the praxis. Or they can just chase off anyone who even thinks about dipping a toe in their community, and then wonder why it's dying off later down the line.
I dunno, maybe I'm too naive and patient or whatever. But if people are entering your -punk spaces without knowing The Rundown of what you feel they need to know, maybe being nice about it and informing people instead of immediately assuming stupidity and malicious intent could help you make a new friend. Even the loudest voices in a space had to learn from somewhere, and not everyone has the luxury of being in the space as the History was Happening--whether it's an age thing or a not being aware of the space thing. Or maybe I just don't see what the big deal is behind people hating people who like the aesthetic of something and don't know the behind the scenes history about it yet.
Because I believe in the word 'yet.' No one comes into this world knowing everything about everything, and we're all constantly learning new things. I'm not gonna degrade someone and call them a poser for not knowing what I know. Because if it were me, interested in a scene but getting chased out and called a poser? I wouldn't hit the books and study up, I'd go 'that fuckin sucks, those people sucked' and then avoid anyone and anything having to do with it.
So chase people off and call them posers if you want. But if your community starts dwindling, don't be fucking shocked.
#out of queue#ani rambles#punks and posers#i cant even call this a 4am hot take because its 7pm but like#idk i keep seeing posts about like 'how DARE people think I bought my punk clothes how DARE they not know the how-tos and DIYs'#or 'ugh people only care about the ~aesthetics~ of my movement if you don't know shit get out of here' and like#maybe I'm just a shy ass introverted nerd whos scared of social rejection! but I avoid that shit like the plague#so if someone were to reject me based on not knowing about something I'd never even heard about? something i was JUST getting into?#there's a high chance I'd just scram and never look back. i don't wanna be the one who causes that emotion in someone else#granted this is coming from someone who STILL doesn't know how to make her own patches or worked up the courage to do direct action praxis#outside of offering neighbors to my tomatoes and trying to talk to people about what I'm passionate about#but still imo unless someone's a malicious intentional bad actor i dont see the point in scaring newbies off#thats how movements die imo#i know this is my solarpunk blog but its not a solarpunk specific thing#i think the main post that inspired this was about store-bought versus self-made spiked leather jackets#which honestly just feels petty to me but who knows.#might delete later
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Ok I wanna ask yall what's the most smashable regi bc I'd smash registeel given the chance
-🪓 anon
I love this
#rare chance to vote on a future pokemon#also reminder that I am always taking general poll ideas#I might regect some no hard feelings#but I used to post a weekly poll that wasn’t smash or pass#and I honestly ran out of ideas#so any other Pokémon related polls that y’all want posted#I might post it#just saying#anyway#ask#anon#axe anon#pkmn smash or pass#pokemon smash or pass#smash or pass#pokemon#pkmn#Regice#regirock#registeel#regigigas#pkmn poll#pokemon poll#tumblr polls#poll#polls
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think the thabes mod has some issues doing some of the gay hack supports but only for the second gen so. um. hey guys drop ur het second gen ships 😭😭😭
#ann plays awakening#cant believe its come to this#HET KJELLE 🤮🤮🤮#i probay just wont pair her but#if there are any vanilla game bangers i might have missed out on lmk!!!#there are definitely a few i already like#big fan of ini/cyn but also cyn/morgan#also been thinkij about ini/sev a little bit. A LITTLE BIT.#i like luci with gero and lau a lot too… and yarne honestly tbh bi queen shes good with everyone its actually kinda insane#but idk i think i could also take this chance to go read some underrated ones i forgot about so#i like. i had luci dance on sev like five million thousand times and nothing. NOTHING. god… its rough out here
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Should make a pain killer that actually kills (or even touches) pain
#not that I have access to ultra hardcore stuff#but even when I had... pretty sure it was vicodine for my wisdom teeth; it didn't do a thing for me#cbd based stuff seems like it maybe helps; certainly does more than nsaids which do nothing for pain (great for inflammation though)#but I just... I'd really like something that actually makes my muscles and joints feel like... good; unpain#I'm sure it would be classified as addictive whatever it was but like... fuck man... I just want to not hurt#I can't tell if I have chronic pain cause... I kinda forget to pay attention when I'm hurting a lot of the time#I'll just... kinda realize I've been hurting bad all day and just not really focusing on it#and I also don't know how often it happens; if it's once a day or once a month or what; not great at noting that stuff down#but man... I don't even like most meds; so many meds either do nothing for me or make me feel like shit#like... benedril? however you spell it; someone gave me some once said it would help me sleep... help me be awake feeling like ass more lik#but like... love to see if muscle relaxants actually like... relaxed my muscles; but you get it; you get why I'll never be able to try it#though honestly I think therapeutic massage might help me a lot#but my doc says that really only gets authorized by physical therapy and... well for me physical therapy is useless#cause I forget to do the exercise; like it's me failing a physical therapy; not a probably with physical therapy#if I ever think I can keep up with it I'd love to try physical therapy for my back again; but I don't want to waste all my chances at it#not when... I descriptively didn't do it when I was in it before; I'd never remember to do any of the exercises#anyway; bonus story from when I was in urgent care when the infection came back (that's still never been solved)#I tell the doc 'last time it tore open a drainage hole it was the worst pain I've ever felt'... cause it was#I said 'I'll need something a bit stronger than an nsaid cause the nsaid did nothing but cut inflammation last time'#she's like 'don't worry; I got you'... wanna guess what she gave me? a newer nsaid#it didn't do shit; I was just lucky and it wasn't as painful... maybe the old drainage hole tore open easier this time#but I didn't even take the nsaid she prescribed; so I'm gonna say it wasn't that med helping#like I get it; you don't want to give opioids... and would it shock you to know that wasn't what I was looking for either#there's gotta be something between nsaid and fentynol man#...well... maybe the cdb has almost got my muscles... hurting less at least; only taken all this time I've been writing#they still hurt for sure... I don't know... get tired; you know?#mm tag so i can find things later
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Ok not to be mean, but I think I’ll genuinely be most mad if Brett wins the Emmy lol. Like if it’s not him or Phil I can be like “ok I didn’t watch those shows that person was probably great.” But if Brett wins it means they watched the same episodes I did and decided he was the standout performance and not Phil??? Like Brett was good but it was nothing we haven’t seen from him before and honestly I don’t think they have him Emmy winning material this season (not like rainbow or literally every episode of season 1). Idk I think the voters should also give it to Phil just so they don’t have to have a hair trigger on the bleep button during the speech lol
If we're doing honesty hour I didn't want Brett to win it for season 2, either. I thought and still think Nick Mohammed should've won. 🫢
#maybe i just like it to go to different people lol but nick was phenomenal with the material he was given#honestly i think one of the barry actors or the guy from the bear might take it. and i think phil does have a better chance than brett#but who knows!#i'll be annoyed if it's anyone but phil despite the fact i haven't watched the other shows lmao#ted lasso#emmys
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Got a sticker yay pls fellow Americans pls for the love of god go out and vote
#pic#personal#nonfunctional rn but i will get my ass up and vote thats for sure#its awful tho more than half the positions only had rep candidates.. had to do write ins#honestly highkey scared esp bc ppl are talking abt some green party revolution that doesnt exist#like sorry id love to not vote for the centrist right dems either its awful but#unless u can convince every superdelegate to vote green on election night to even have a chance#like pls i hate kamala too but trump will take away our rights to even fight back#the govs been so useless these 4 yrs partially bc trump destabilized it so bad#like the Supreme court gave him presidential immunity that might take yrs to be resolved#it was just this year. him getting in office only seals the deal for everyone involved#ig part of it im seeing a lot of blk nondems are getting berated for voting blue and ppl are weaponizing the genocide#which cruel firstly. secondly trump is the scariest option hes ten toes down on israel.#why would u even chance wasting ur vote against the literal white supremacist he would only further the destruction substantially#like im sorry i just. i need to see a free palestine this is the best chance#unfortunately this country is sick to its core and biden is quite literally older than israels inception#so while its truly horrific its expected and the only thing we can do is mitigate it#and as someone who lives in ga. theres too many trump vance signs everywhere I just cant#going back to my depression hole good luck yall
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wait your beatles era is over? it was so fun eventhough i follow for death note content it just made my day seeing you enjoying something so much! :]
Awww no well it's not OVER over, as in I still really like them and will retain everything I learned about them during the last 3 or 4 months and still follow a lil handful of my fave Beatles blogs on here. It's just over as in I don't feel the need to fill my dash with literally hundreds of Beatles blogs or finish reading every giant biographer's tome I started reading about them anymore or wtv. And obvs you can always chat to me about them and still see me occasionally post about them! But thank you for saying so anyways haha
#i feel like after learning a good bit of the band's lore#that most of the fandom info i see about them now is the same thing recycled over and over again#and a lot of super serious takes and intense stances that i dont often feel as strongly serious about myself#not just on tumblr but also on beatles subreddits and everywhere else#so for me there just came a point of diminishing returns a few months in#at which immersing myself in the fandom chatter that heavily stopped feeling continuously rewarding or something#one of the main things im taking away from my 2024 beatles phase is probably that im going to be genuinely sad when paul mccartney dies now#i dont honestly think there is any other celebrity i've actually felt that way about for the past ten years or so but goddammit#he just grew on me a lot the more i learned about the band#i also think it's very cool that 2 of the fab 4 are still kickin now! and i hope they stick around for a long while yet#and i also urge anybody who hasnt obsessed over the beatles yet#but has been flirting with the idea of maybe getting into the beatles someday#to do it now while some of them are still alive#it's never too late and it just makes it all way more cool and fun to learn about them and hey#you might even still have the chance to see paul or ringo perform live#if that turns out to be something you want to do#ask#anon#p
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Recently discovered that there are people that ship dbhks ONLY within fanon, which is so wild to me because I personally think that so much of their appeal is within their canon!
#I think this comes from enjoying shipping from an “ideal relationship” perspective#dabihawks to me has always been about the different perspectives they can give each other and the sides they represent in society#it honestly doesn't have to be about romance#just that a deep intense connection is present because of who they are as people#both a connection and adversity to each other#because they represent what they hate but also what they could've been#their relationship would be messy and difficult and sometimes they may even think they hate each other#but that's the thing when you yourself are so deeply messy and difficult#and overcoming what you've been through#despite seeing the worst parts of each other#is part of the appeal isn't it?#they're not meant to agree with each other#they're meant to constantly challenge each other because they showed each other what the worst of both sides looks like#dabihawks is not ideal#but I think they're in a unique place where they may be opposites#but no one else might understand them the way they can#if they just gave each other that chance#I also think that people look at this ship through an “ordinary people” lense when neither dabi or hawks are ordinary people lol#like what you like of course this is just my personal take#alien talks
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so my friend and i are currently chatting about how i just discovered me referring to weed as "pot" makes me sound like a suburban mom even tho i didn't realize it was an "old-timey" term (??? it sounds just as normal as "weed" to me???)
and i just realized the reason i say pot is specifically because 1. watching kids in the hall (and other things from that era) and 2. talking about pot with the kids in the hall (the ones i know irl still use that word)
so for everyone's information i do NOT sound like a suburban mom for saying "pot" i sound like an old canadian gay man!!!!
but anyway that conversation moved on to talking about weed and the kids in the hall and now i must bring a poll to tumblr
(even if you have smoked before this is about placing yourself in the hypothetical situation i'd be in bc i've never been stoned before and my friend and i were joking about how my first time getting high would be with one of the kids in the hall lmao)
also in your opinion is saying "pot" weird???? literally so confusing to me like damn i guess all my interactions with weed are through the lens of 1. media from the 90s or 2. people who were young adults in the 90s
#as someone who honestly could have my first time smoking weed be with one of these poll options here's my personal take#just on the 3 i know irl bc i have no idea how the others would be#i think scott could be fun if i had a good reaction. but bc there's a chance i wouldn't#my take is that scott would be a person i'd smoke with after i'd done it a few times. bc otherwise he might stress me out#(or i'd stress myself out bc holy shit it's scott thompson)#bruce could be fun but i feel like he'd get very dad energy about it. which like maybe that's the vibe you want#but personally i think bruce would be so supportive it would circle back around to stressing me out somehow lmao#paul bellini tho? he has the ultimate chill stoner uncle vibes. he would be very fun to get high with but also if i had a bad reaction#i know he'd understand and like be able to deal with that without making it into a whole thing. like he's just the genuinely cool uncle#deadass i don't have much of an interest in weed but like thinking about my social circle it would almost definitely be paul#even realistically taking into account my non-kith friends and people my own age i'm like no it had to be bellini lmao#i should let paul know i've cast him in this role#anyway let me know your thoughts especially if you'd choose one of the other three#and let me know if i sound like a suburban mom or an old fag (affectionate)
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Hear me out but villains / protagonist swap au . Where . Adam and Charlie get swapped .
#Like okay !! So basically Adam wants to rehab the sinners cause he’ll keeps getting shittier and shittier with its overpopulation problem#and seemingly no one is doing anything about it . But Charlie doesn’t want to because in this au she’s a sadist and enjoys seeing them suffe#r! it’s like entertainment to her ! (guitar solo fuck yeah!) and then Lute can be swapped with Vaggie (honestly if the angel Vaggie theory#turns out right then they feel like they’d make good parallels for one another) then a few wayward sinners take a chance on the hotel that#Adam managed to set up (Charlie doesn’t believe it’ll work anyways so she’s fine with it happening) and among those sinners are the three Vs#! Vox & Al are swapped (obvs) Va and Angel are swapped (kinda iffy on this cause . I don’t want to make Angel a predator nor do I want to#victimize Val given . who he is.) and Velvette can have Nifty’s role ! somewhat conflicted on who j should swap with Husk and Nifty though#I guess the Vs don’t necessarily need specific swaps . they can just fill the roles of ‘sinners who help around / stay at the hotel ‘#in the same way the og protagonists might not have to be the exact same flavor of evil#just still be antagonists
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a possessive kiss that is meant to stake a claim .
kiss & tell | oooh @ofurizen wants chiyo soooo bad ≖‿≖
" 'm sorry i didn't listen. "
the words are tired and spoken between rasped breaths as chiyo holsters her pistols. her arms and legs feel like jello -- a side effect of nearly meeting her end at the gruesome hands of a hulking demon. but there isn't a drop of concern for herself in the pools of brown gazing at v. it's all for him. she'd watched as the creature trampled over shadow, barreling towards the man with such ferocity, and as griffon snatched v out of harm's way, chiyo fired without a second thought. her onslaught drew the demon's attention to her, as she wished, but she didn't have an avian companion to save her from being squashed.
she didn't need one. a well-placed bullet ( read: lucky shot ) sent the demon tumbling to the ground, giving nightmare enough time to manifest and v to finish the job. and thank god.
as v's hair turns from white to black again, chiyo worries she's made him angry. at the very least, she expects to be reprimanded after her reckless display. she's only human. a fragile thing like her shouldn't take risks that aren't in her favor, particularly when she was told to stay back.
green eyes finally meet her own, and chiyo shifts uncomfortably beneath the intensity of v's stare. the need to justify her actions rises in her chest, forces words out that aren't as careful as they typically might be. she cares too deeply to hide it very well anymore. " but that thing wasn't gonna give you a break. i couldn't just stand there. what if you got hurt? " the distance between them is rapidly closing with v's long strides. like she always has, chiyo stands her ground and does not move, brow furrowing and mouth twisting into a frown.
but it is not an argument that v wants. he enters her space not to intimidate her but to pull her closer, eliciting a gasp as his gloved hand grasps her jaw and arm wraps around her. he wants her. the realization winds chiyo, steals the breath from her lungs seconds before v has the chance to, and it's almost embarrassing how easily she melts and molds into his touch then, how readily she stands on her tiptoes so that he doesn't have to bend down quite so far. if he wants her, he'll have her.
his kiss is a hungry, greedy thing, and chiyo is nothing but willing to feed it. he need not tilt her head for a better angle because she does it for him, presses closer without the encouragement of a tighter embrace, though she does relish in it. he need not be insistent for she wants him, too; he must understand that when she is so eager to surrender to his touch. take what you want, her body sighs. one hand slides up tattooed skin to rest delicately at the base of v's throat while the other tangles itself in dark strands and doesn't let go. her mind grows fuzzy, unable to think clearly even as their lips part for air, and chiyo meets v's gaze with half-lidded eyes. she feels the rise and fall of his chest, wonders if his heart beats as fast as hers does.
yours. all yours, her eyes seem to say as she takes hold of the hand that held her jaw and turns her head to press a kiss to his thumb, tilt her face into his palm. a smile tugs at her mouth, bashful and teasing all at once.
" maybe i'm not so sorry. "
#ofurizen#DON'T LOOK AT ME AND HOW LONG I MADE THIS ASDFGH#when i say i'm brainrotting over them i mean it okay :' )))) and i can't help it if i love to set a scene :' )))#and when you said he feels possessive bc she's precious and worth protecting my mind immediately thought about how#if given the chance she'd absolutely do something reckless to keep v from getting hurt and how that might stir up some feelings after#hehe#and i feel like in other situations there would definitely be a moment when chiyo hesitates and doubts herself#like she can't just boldly kiss someone first without being ill with nerves first#but in this situation it's so clear how he feels that she's like ' haha take everything you want from me <3 hold me tighter in fact <3 '#i just love them to pieces already :' )))#btw lemme know if anything seemed ooc for v!! i tried not to write too much for him but if even his reaction wouldn't happen like this#i can try to fix it or at the very least learn <3#i had to be there to be loved | interactions#to restart this heart of mine | main#tbh maaaaaaybe i need to make a new verse for chiyo...... also i settled on guns for her to use for the time being but i might change it#/if/ something else seems better suited/more interesting#i honestly just figured guns might be easier for her to learn vs. training her whole body
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just unsubscribed from vivzie after realizing that these shows aren’t gonna go anywhere and they’re pretty horrible in terms of everything and I am UPSET about it
but other then that cheers mate🧃
#vivziepop#hopefully people rewrite them cause they deserve that#I’m not really upset like I thought I’d be#I’m jsut upset that I didn’t see it sooner#my stuffy stuff#idk just wanted to announce that I’m free#🎶raise a glass to freeedom🎶🧃#but yea feels pretty good honestly might look up rewrites for this sh-t cause wtf#now I can enjoy other things that a lot of people hate mostly because of the fandom instead of the creator#idk why I have a hard time realizing when something is bad that i previously worshipped#it’s called rose colored glasses unfortunately#and I SUFFER FROM IT#it just be like that tho#listen none of this means you can’t like it or still watch it#by all means go right ahead idc#I feel like I need to say that cause I know some people will take this the wrong way#funny thing is I was never really in the fandom or really that into the show if I’m honest I jsut wanted to give it a chance cause#youtube shows excite me#and I was subscribed to viv for a while so I basically saw helluva boss come to be#so I am and was a very bias person#I’m not ashamed to admit it#we are all bias of something or multiply things#it’s natural#at least I think it is#but whatever#that’s all I’m gonna say#if anybody wants to complain or point out things that suck about helluva boss#I’ll be here#in my corner with some hot cocoa
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Man oni can't do this to me I'm supposed to be preparing for artfight but all I can think abt is Them™ from the second I wake up to the moment I go to bed how am I supposed to prepare in these circumstances 😔
#rat rambles#oni posting#and dude the beta is probably still going to be going during that time klei how could you do this to me#like I will still be participating in artfight but I fear Ill be on oni lockdown for the first week or smth dhskdhkdh#Ill try to at least sketch some stuff out but god if I can get my hands onto any amount of lore its so jover#now thats not a guarantee this is a beta after all but god man. fuck.#also I need to know the new dupes name right now its important#mostly because I want confirmation that I got z on the cypher right lol#chances are theyll just have another a name or smth#who knows maybe theyll have a w name and be the second ever contender for being sent to the constant#although for all we know there could be plenty more w names in the cast that are just hidden in the full names like with nails#I am in such agony rn with seemingly every place ppl post abt oni being dead silent still hello is anyone there#I thought Id at least see some more speculative stuff on the gameplay side of things but Ive seen like 2 things where ppl even bring it up#tbf some of the new stuff seems pretty obvious to deduce to me like there's no way the new fox deers dont produce lumber#and we already know the bunny guys (or the big one at least) provides reed fiber at least#the plants are mostly more mysterious tho#we have the obvious one being our new bestie the oxylite plant and the lil puffball tree thats probably the new decor plant#and the crystal grapes are probably going to be a new muckroot equivalent and at least one of the new plants probably produces smth edible#as for what recourses they need we know that at least 2 of them need watered in some way#Im currently betting theyll need ethanol but thats not based on a lot#honestly if any of them use plain ol water or even any water variants Ill be surprised#I wouldn't be surprised if most of them take ethanol or some liquid gas or smth#I still am holding out on a plant that consumed liquid carbon dioxide but Im not too hopeful#one thing Im very curious on is just everything abt how the oxylite plant grows I wanna know how good itll be so bad#because I am a proud member of the desperately wants more viable oxygen production option in oni gang and I wanna see this baby flourish#but based on how seemingly abundant it is Im afraid itll just join the squad of early game oxygen options that become too much of a hassle#to sustain late game so you're usually just going to switch to exlectroliszers each time#I hope Im wrong but I wont be surprised if Im not#they already took one oxygen plant out back and shot it dead so this guy might just be a corpse on arival if we're unlucky#well hey thats why there's a beta ig gotta make sure things are balanced or whatever
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#rant cw#🌙.txt#i'm genuinely so scared rn 😃 i'm trying to distract myself and have fun but it's so hard#like. i know i'm privileged bc at least i have a safe place to stay and i could make it here before everything got worse#and i know there are people going through much worse than me#but i'm TERRIFIED bc there's a high chance we might actually lose everything this time bc this flood is SO much worse than the last one#and if we lose everything then what the fuck are we gonna do...#how many times are we gonna have to deal with this kind of situation#i couldn't sleep bc i was too anxious and now i'm tired#and i just saw a video of a bunch of cows being DRAGGED by the fcking water and they looked so scared :(#i keep crying i feel so powerless#bc literally the only thing i can do is wait and pray that the damage won't be bad to the point where we can't recover from it#i'm sorry i keep posting about this and again i know i'm more privileged than a LOT of people#but i just need to vent bc i honestly have never felt this scared in my life#i'll try to at least take a nap now tho. i need some rest
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my friend asked me to put together all the ways oumen & apoptosis are connected as songs today & i love those two so naturally ive been on this since i woke up & after really going thru the lyrics Yet Again i think i FINALLY have my answer about tenshi's song right.
so basically we know the nami no ne no motif from aru sekai shoushitsu being present in a song means whoever in the song is still a "person"/still has their free will & gets to continue into the next loop. standard info. in all the other songs this is mixed into the instrumental, the only times its sung are in shoushitsu of course & in oumen mokushiroku. didnt think much of it when the song first came out bc like yeah thats just whats in series songs. but more & more across various songs, shoushitsu, apoptosis, kanon, oumen itself it talks about sacrifice & implies that sacrifice was a permanent death. oumen as a whole is her not wanting to accept that sacrifice role, she doesn't have a choice in it, but she doesnt want it either, (& apoptosis being it was originally that girl who was supposed to be the sacrifice but she pushed it off on someone else, therefore is the reason tenshi's song goes the way it does in the first place)
so then why does she have the motif if everything else including her herself say that she dies permanently.
i propose to u my newest theory.
the whole song is her wishing she had more time, not wanting to do it, she wants to live. so. since she's specifically singing it. im willing to bet its a last wish of hers. that somehow, someway, she still has enough free will to counteract the act of sacrifice, if she wishes hard enough, if she holds enough of her own desires, then maybe against everything, she'll get to live on into the next loop. basically, not a sign that she Does live, rather, just that she desperately WANTS to
#aru sekai series#no joke ive been tearin up over her all day why is her song so painful#SHE DIDNT DO ANYTHING WRONG. WHY. WHY DID IT HAPPEN LIKE THIS. WHY#<- literally the end of apoptosis#apoptosis just looooves to cause problems until the one person she refuses to admit she cares about get caught in it#apoptosis is her own beast & u put the two of these together & im just in emotional overload.#apoptosis lying & saying shes in it for the other when shes just thinking of herself#until the other gets taken away from her without a chance to even say anything about it#& she just cant handle that#& u have tenshi who wants nothing more than to make it out alive with her taking her place & dying & in the end it changes nothing#im so fucking upset she wanted to LIVE she tried to lie to herself & say at least it might absolve everyones sins of carrying out this#project & it doesnt do a damn thing#she was SCARED she DIDNT want this she just desperately wants to live & see the other again & THEY KILLED HER......#honestly apoptosis is so in the right to have a breakdown over it. its like half her fault but like. a breakdown is#the only correct response i think#kanon feels guilty but she doesnt seem to outwardly show that very much#so like. yeah i would also lose my mind if someone i was close to got killed for no reason & everyone just acted like it was nothing#i feel like im finally starting to come to terms with like labo's & yamete's deaths but god tenshis is just so........... awful.
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#I keep seeing people in the lgbt community talking about doing this one thing to change your sexuality or start liking men and it keeps#messing me up#because I keep slipping and feeling lonelier and lonelier and as though I have no community#or chance for love and this might set me free#and honestly I’m really upset that so many people push this#say it like a joke or a positive thing#and don’t even take a second to think about what they are saying to lonely beaten down and desperate lesbians#who are getting the massive short end of the stick in life at the moment#because apparently there are just none of us everyone hates us and we don’t have space in a community those#before us helped build FOR US#no friends no community no spaces no gfs no anything#and then haha lol funny video about how I can not be a lesbian anymore#and everyone is just laughing along and reposting and acting like it’s the greatest fucking thing in the world
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