#& she just cant handle that
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When Mike Wheeler, red faced and still faintly tear stained, asks him how he knew he liked both Steve doesn’t know how to tell him it was his sister.
Before Nancy Wheeler it had only been boys. Before Nancy Wheeler Steve had been sure he was gay and knew well enough to keep it to himself; dating around enough to earn himself a protective reputation. Before Nancy Wheeler there’d been Marcus Summers, from the baseball team, during freshman year. Steve had gone to every game, and had been forced to make up excuses about schoolwork and his other commitments when asked why he hadn’t tried out for himself. Before Nancy Wheeler there’d been Tommy Hagan. The summer between seventh and eighth grade had been very kind to Tommy, he was sunkissed and boy next door sweet, Steve had wanted to hold his hand and count the freckles across the bridge of his nose.
Before Nancy Wheeler there’d been his first love, a boy who only visited one summer, the year Steve turned ten. His name had changed every time they hung out but he’d favored E’s. Eli, Emmett, Elliott, Eric, Excalibur, Excelsior, and once for about an hour Wayne. His hair brushed his chin in pretty brown curls and his big brown eyes were always bright with excitement. He always got storm off mad when any of the other boys they’d played with that summer said he was acting like a girl, E would run off to the woods and Steve would always follow. E always came up with the best games anyway, he didn’t like playing soccer or HORSE or anything else with rules that couldn’t be bent; he preferred imagination games where they were knights or wizards. He didn’t laugh when Steve said he always liked playing house, but never wanted to be the dad because why would he want to be someone who never wanted to spend any time with his kids. E who, while insisting on being called Samwise all day, was his first kiss.
Cause he knows what Mike wants to hear. He’s seen the way Mike and Will have danced around each other since the last portal closed. He’s heard the things Mike has said to and about Will. He’s heard all about the week that Will was in the Upside Down. He’s heard all about the summer of ‘85. He’s heard all about the final off again that seems to officially mark the end of Mike and El romantically. He knows that Mike wants him to say that he’d never even thought about boys before he met Eddie. That there’s just something special about Eddie that makes him want to give up his lady killing ways. That Eddie was different. That it was okay that he was having these scary new thoughts, maybe Will was just an exception.
And Steve doesn’t know how to have that conversation. When he realized he liked both it was a relief, that maybe he could have something normal and wouldn't have to spend his life lying or hiding.
But Eddie was different. Eddie was special. Eddie was probably it for Steve which is scary in a different way that he’s not ready to touch yet -- not when it’s only been three months.
There’s never been another girl since Nancy Wheeler, not really
There will never be another boy after Eddie Munson.
So he tries to help, as best he can. It’s easier with Eddie there, not quite dozing against his shoulder -- the kid’s emergencies always seem to come so late at night these days. “When I was ten, there was a boy whose name kept changing who decided prince charming should get to kiss his faithful knight. And when I was sixteen, your sister-”
Mike’s goodwill diminishes quickly as his sister gets introduced to the conversation.
“Stevie,” Eddie says. It’s not an admonishment for bringing up Nancy. It’s awestruck and watery. “You remember that?”
“Of course I remember the first boy I ever loved," that word catches up with him a second later. Remember.
Cause there's Eddie with his riot of brown curls and his Bambi eyes. Eddie, who has explained why soft feminine words chafe against his skin leaving him itchy and anxious. Eddie, who has an Uncle in Hawkins. Eddie who moved to town the summer before he entered high school with a buzzed head and his mother's last name. Eddie who finally settled into an E he liked best.
"Wheeler, here's a tip from me to you," Eddie says, his advice is always better received than Steve's anyway, "if you have to ask you probably already know."
"Straight people don't really spend much time wondering if they aren't really straight," Steve agrees.
They don't rush Mike out the door, a crisis is a crisis and even in the wake of new discoveries Mike deserves to be heard out. Deserves a chance to cry and rage and feel those emotions someplace safe from his Reaganite father -- just as much as Will deserves to have someone who knows what they want come to him, deserves better than experimentation.
They cross the bridge from late into early by the time Mike sets off. The sun is creeping up over the horizon and Mike looks solid, certain; the dawn hints at the man he is growing up to be. Though every instinct of Steve's begs him to drive the kid home, Eddie's soft hand lingering at his hip holds him fast. They wave instead, encouraging Mike to go home and to bed before he does anything; knowing his front bike tire is already pointed toward the Byers-Hopper place.
"The first boy you ever loved, huh, Stevie?" Eddie teases before the door has even managed to click shut.
"And the last, I'm hoping, if I play my cards right."
"You were always pretty good at that. You were the only person that summer who called me by my name, except Wayne."
"It was your name." He knows that's too simple. Knows how hard Eddie has had it, continues to have it. But that summer it had been that simple, Eddie trying on names like shirts each one fitting until they didn't. "For what it's worth, I like Eddie a lot more than Excalibur."
"Oh fuck off, I was going through a fantasy knight phase. Which I know you remember."
"Right a phase, and how much longer is this fantasy 'phase' going to last?"
They're the kind of tired that makes you feel drunk, when Eddie tackles Steve and sends them both to the floor and to giggles. Eddie might not have been his bi awakening, but Steve is pretty fine with him being his everything else.
#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#trans eddie munson#implied byler#steddie fic#my fic#i do worry that sometimes i come across as a nancy hater#which i cant emphasize enough is not the case#nancy is a complicated character and i love her and she and steve are not good for each other#also eddie trying on wayne because wayne was the first adult he told that he wasnt a girl and who handled it well#wayne at the breakfast table like okay then what is your name if its not [redacted] and eddie does not have an answer yet#so wayne says well just tell me when you get up what youre going by#so he decides while playing that day that its wayne#and that lasts exactly as long as it takes for steve to call him that before hes like nope thats weird#eddie is short for edmund but also short for eddie the head#eddie contains multitudes
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good thing about journeys not giving me proper dawn focused episodes is that i can just make stuff like this and say its canon
#satohika#pearlshipping#aadl#ashdawn#|→ forever 10#comic#personal pet peeve of mine is folks acting like dawn cant handle the cold WHEN SHE IS SINNOHAN?????#i mean cmon just imagine ash cuddling her because she is that warm even in the coldest days THE POTENTIAL
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People on tiktok infantilizing curly from mouthwashing and saying that him becoming crippled was his punishment. Killing u. With my teeth.
#decades of begging to not be infantilized when we're dependent on people and tiktok ruins it#also the “divine punishment” thing is disgusting but it was probably what the developers intended idk#eyelids burned so hes forced to be a passive observer. legs gone so he cant run away. flesh laid bare and vulnerable#it's a fucked up rhetoric still. people dont become disabled because theyre bad people we become disabled just bc it happens#also curly is not a great perfect person whatsoever. his need to keep things friendly between the crew is what doomed them all#but people CANNOT handle a morally gray character.#tbh what was curly supposed to do? giving anya the gun while she was breaking down would be stupid#but he couldnt just turn around the ship and drop off jimbalaya or file a report. a big message in the game#is that corporate doesnt care if they live or die.#not saying curly didnt do anything wrong#mouthwashing#mouth washing#character analysis#captain curly#curly mouthwashing#cripple punk#disabled
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the way atla fans and especially the males in this fandom talk and joke about katara will never not piss me tf off. katara really seems to be the only character that has been mischaracterized to such an extreme while at the same also having her character reduced to absolutely nothing but being a whiny angry little teenage girl.
like the amount of times i've seen memes where aang toph and sokka are portrayed as being cool and chill and having fun and then katara is for some reason always crying and getting angry at someone and nagging at her friends about dumb stuff. and everytime i see those memes that are supposed to be funny i'm like "??...did we even watch the same show?...." cuz WHAT. literally who is that supposed to be? katara??? be fr
like we all obviously know why they do that to her (it starts with an m- and ends with -isogyny) and this has been discussed a hundred times by people who can put it a lot better into words than i could but i do find it funny that it's always only her being portrayed as the annoying little killjoy that can never let the gaang have any fun (even the show implied that at some point and even made her feel insecure abt it bc she wasn't okay with them cheating people out of money) while sokka is literally the one who's like "no we don't have time for that fun little side trip" "no we can't go there we have to stay on schedule" "we can't relax we're already running behind schedule" yadda yadda for like..the whole series and yet i don't think i've EVER seen him be portrayed as anything but the fun chill guy. like those ppl would neevverrr talk abt him the same way they do with katara and it's so annoying.
#ranting cuz i just saw a meme like that and the males where all laughing in the comments abt her#like i need those mfs to keep her name out of their mouths#if youre a male then dont talk about katara unless youre praising her i'm so serious#i wish katara was real so that she could mop the floor with yall 💔💔💔#katara i'm sorry these losers cant handle such great and strong feminine characters like you sweetie it's not ur fault i promise#i really love sokka but if anything HE was the “killjoy” out of the group especially in season 1 and not katara#and i dont even mean it in a bad way#katara defense squad#katara deserved better#katara
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I love my girl Miwa but as soon as I read that this image immediately popped up in my head:
#HAVE SOME STANDARDS GIRL DAMN#i want this relationship to work out too but this aint it#how do we relationship#cine te a intrebat#uhmmm theres SPOILERS past this tag in case u care to read this yourself just a quick warning#i kid i joke but this scene fucks me up i like how this manga handles queerness. it shows how messy and painful it can be#like we already got a bit of that with sae and her relationship with sex but this mmmmmm this one i didnt see coming#imagine u work up the courage to confess to ur high school crush and she says she cant date you#not cause she doesnt like you. quite literally /because/ she likes you and wants to take ur relationship seriously and respect you#but she cant do that. because shes afraid of people finding out. of having to hide all the time. of being ostracised. she's tired.#she cant find the strength to do that.#the frustration of being loved but society denying you the possibility of being together... ill clown on Miwa (its very easy) but i feel bad#for her#gaud i need to sleep hai pa
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maybe its just me but i cant stand when people are like "it just doesn't sit right with me how teruhashi thought about aiura 🥺" like yes... its not supposed to ??? because her thinking badly of other girls and prioritizing male validation over everything is one of her main flaws ??? can we talk about that WITHOUT making it seem like shes not allowed to have a single actual flaw without suddenly becoming an awful person? nobody can handle complex female characters at all and its so fucking annoying
#you guys all missed the point of her development AND her and saiki's relationship development#like did you miss the parts where the only times he genuinely seems to not like something she does is when shes mean to other girls#and he still understands that she isnt a bad person for having bad thoughts in the private comfort of her mind#and besides... in this case she was literally just being a dramatic and insecure teenage girl LMAO#like dont fucking lie to me and tell me when you were her age you didnt have similar thoughts#youre worse than her if you lie about it while judging her for it#sorryyyy#she shouldve been MORE unhinged youre all just cowards#AND ALSO ? how can something even be 'mean' if its just a thought#thats like if u opened ur friends private diary without permission and then unfriended them over something they said in a random upset vent#and in this specific situation if u found out ur friend called someone a bitch because they liked the same person as her ??#LIKE THATS ?? its bad but its not as crazy as you guys make it out to be#shes allowed to be angry and insecure in the privacy of HER OWN MIND#idk if this makes sense but i just feel that her thoughts are more of a concern about her wellbeing than anything else#like she canonically is extremely kind to others even when she doesnt want to be so why are we worried about how she treats others.#theyre fine. im worried about HER.#and WHY her mindset is so negative... but u guys dont give a shit because u cant handle even a spec of complexity#sorry ive said all this before i just like to rant#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#teruhashi kokomi#meows post
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honestly the more i hear about engstars and its TLs the more i absolutely dread the inevitable release of poltergeist and what may ensue from it, bc if if the translators themselves are already invalidating arashis identity then i Really Truly do not want to see how theyll translate natsume and tsumugis microaggressions/transphobia towards her. esp since ive noticed a rise in people being comfortably transphobic towards her, and i REALLY do not wish to see natsume and tsumugi being stupid fucking morons be used as evidence to discredit her
and i think this is all the more reason why its VERY IMPORTANT for engstars to DIRECTLY ACKNOWLEDGE arashi and her gender. bc sometimes characters are STUPID and RUDE and APATHETIC. enstars is a story with NUANCED and FLAWED CHARACTERS, and when a character is being a fucking asshole youre meant to PROVE THEM WRONG. but they dont even acknowledge arashi as a girl themselves. so, if you do use engstars, please keep pressuring them bc omfg this is so bad and i can only see it getting worse
#a bit of a serious post sorreys its kinda me venting im just preparing for the worst#We should be legally allowed to beat the shit out of ntmg for what they said to arashi#i dont remember the exact quotes verbatim but tsumugi basically just expressed confusion abt her gender identity#n natsume flatout said something like shes lying to kids by calling herself a princess#so.#not good.#having characters show bigotry is not Necessarily a bad thing. but that is ONLY WHEN that bigotry gets disproven#but. engstars arent doing that.#theyre not disproving it.#they keep pretending like her gender is. well. Nothing#so i worry that this story is just gonna fuel the flames and make everything so much worse than it already is#anyway. if u play engstars please do keep pestering them for blatantly ignoring and misrepresenting arashis identity#i try to stay out of whatever goes on on that app but. Man.#she deserves better#But hey knowing them maybe theyll just fuckin cut out the dialogue alltogether to further act like trans people and their issues arent real#nat rambles#im a bit peeved as u can see sorry i just know how this fandom is and how they cant handle nuance or flawed characters#and im REALLY not happy with happyele REWRITING THE TEXT#and getting RID OF SAID NUANCE#GRHAGGRAHGRAGHHGHGH#sorry.#its like 3:30am i just needed to get this off my chest#maybe ill delete this but god.#free my girl
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Sweet Dreams <3
#my art#pokemon#galarian ponyta#digital art#hiiii everyone hello please look at my darling angel Amalthea. shes my partner pokemon in pokednd <3#most of our pokemon went missing so Mia (my character) took our remaining pokemon to get their pictures taken in case they go missing#i did in fact draw all three of them. am going to work on doing digital versions of the other two#its all of our partner pokemons :3 ponyta. impidimp. and mankey <3#the sketches i did for the other two are so fun i cant wait to draw them#impidimp's made my cousins all laugh so hard they almost cried#this session was so fun and we also talked afterwards about pokemon we may want on our teams in the future#and honestly my potential line up for Mia feels so good#her next pokemon she gets is very possibly going to be a bewear. absolutely out of left field choice but it works so beautifully#im also thinking good options for her would be breloom. grumpig. wyrdeer. maybe mimikyu.#grumpig and breloom are honestly the top of the list. they suit her so beautifully#wyrdeer is also really good. mimikyu would be up to roleplay#mimikyu and bewear would both play into her animal handling skill#mimikyu would also end up disguised as a sylveon#probably play that as mimikyu wanting to fit in with Mia's team since she's really nice to it and it wants her to be its trainer#bewear on the other hand would 1. work well aesthetically for her and 2. would be fantastic roleplay material what with it being a giant#aggro bear and mia is just this gentle giant who is so fucking good with pokemon so its like well.#the nice girl wants me to be nice so i wont kill you because i like her. she gives me snacks and pets me and treats me well
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I hate the stretch lines in the front of Curly's uniform because that means the devs rushed to make a model in like a month or so and thought "They gotta at least know he has huge knockers, gotta know he's got back pain." Cause like what is the thematic importance of his tits having overhang?
What responsibility is that representing? Breast reduction? It shows an inherent greed in his character due to the excess and heshouldletmeholdone and that he clearly is blinded cause if he tries to look down his damn ladder all he's seeing is his own cleavage.
#this is my curly slander post ig#disclaimer i need you to understand i see all fictional men i like as like butches Curly is no exception#but like they didnt need to add that many polygons to his chest like its unnessary and honestly a little mean he already has so many things#to handle and you expect him to hold those boys up like that just aint right this is like something so stupid but i know you can tell im#having strong feelings about it cause like what was the point why did they survive the fucking crash it has to be a injoke at this point#with the devs it shouldnt make me this mad im turning into a misandrist but only towards large chested men#mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#shitpost#suggestive#ig because this is just about his chest but like also they made him objectively pretty for no reason like yeah like ideal man and work ig#but they went over the extra mile like i have a right to be mad they did that much for a model we see canonically for like two seconds its#crazy actually how little we see of curly pre crash because we also lose his physical movements to help characterize him the way we see#body language with the other characters and how it gives way to their struggles and personalities and sentiments in certain moments#like all he does and how he emotes is stifled by the fact we always play as him until the last moments where he takes over to try and save#the ship and crew and even right before that the scene is so wrought with tension we cant tell what that look he gave Jimmy meant due to#the limitations of the models and how stiff Curly is like was it fear acceptance denial we dont know enought about how he acts himself#to tell and then everything else is charaterized by what Jimmy had done to where we dont really just get to see Curly as himself like Anya#and Swansea and Daisuke we have no idea how theyd act in a regular moment outside of a few glimpses and even then it is them doing#their jobs like grrrr we hate an unreliable narrator but also its the fact jimmy clearly does not interact with them or try to outside of#his position as copilot and then captain harkening back to the entire capitlist view of utility and how he views all of them as useless eve#Curly which fandom tangent the fandom also tends to do to Curly as they base every trait on what they think he failed to do as Captain#between Jimmy and Anya when the QnAs kinda make him out to be a rather open and willing person but still someone who isnt like a push over#just thinking of QnA three where it mentions hes very open to trying new things and you need to be an open minded person to open urself up#to failure like that and ig this is just the weird view that Curly needs to learn that or that theres redemption he needs personality wise#verses healing and learning from trauma like idk its the idea that people assume he did abosultely nothing when the games points out direct#and throught parallels he was taking actions its just wasnt enough and an over focus on absolute inaction vs ineffective methods used to#tackle the issues and themes the game grapples with plus wanting someone to take the blame and have to make it up to Anya even tho#i think it would mean nothing from Curly because she saw his efforts and would be disappointed it wasnt enough but the idea she would#disregard the attempts or not acknoweldge Jimmy as the epicenter compared ot Curly is weird and too focused on someone
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the despair i feel knowing that able-bodied people will never understand why even things they perceive as nonactions exhaust me . lol
#mom dropped off one of the dogs for me to babysit but just having to supervise her exhausts me#let alone take her outside etc#im trying to recover from a lotttttt of pain from my period (& am still on it + experiencing rly big emotions from it)#and i cant handle this lol im at my#breaking point!!!!!!!!!!!!! but she just. doesnt understand that she’s hurting me by giving me this responsibility#and she doesn’t understand why sometimes im able to and sometimes im not and it’s just . aaa :(#i wish i had energy to cry#0
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i am too gay to fucking handle this rn
#HOLY SHIT MAN#HOLY FUCK#SCREAMING CRYING SHITTING BRICKS#SHAYNE IS ME#IM LITERALLY SHAYNE#MY KNEES ARE WEAK#I CANT HANDLE THIS#I NEED HER RELIGIOUSLY#PLEASE AMANDA JUST ONE CHANCE GIRL JUST ONE#but also i love that they didn’t make lady d into the pegging cause she’s SO FUCKING OBVIOUSLY A LEZZIE LMFAO#wlw#wlw yearning#lesbianism#amanda lehan canto#smosh#amanda lehan-canto
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incoherent mumbling and whimpering and sobbing and-
#i just cant catch a break man-#first ch100 of tbhk and now this?? in one day???? youre trying to kill me#this is very messy bc i physically cannot handle anything more rn#i am in shambles and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGHhHHHH#WEEEEEEEEEEEEHWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#i didnt know what to title this help how do i encapsulate my thoughts into a title wtf man omfg#also this is probs inspired by chippuyons piece for ep9?? i couldnt tell u tbh i drew this in a haze but shout out to him frfr#buddy daddies#buddy daddy spoilers#miri unasaka#kazuki kurusu#rei suwa#uhm#misaki unasaka#shes like a pixel but shes there trust me#fanart#my art#alright i need to fucking go do something- anything.... pls 😭😭😭😭
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Why are some of y'all making Robin be so mean to Steve and having them friend break up or their relationship irreversibly damaged for the sake of romo ships why would you do that to them what the hellllll literally biggest case of She Would Not Do That ever.
Sure Robin will rag on Steve but it's friendly! It's as friends! Steve does the same to her! He literally immediately dragged her crush as soon as she came out to him! Their bickering is mutual! They want to combine!! Into one!! Being!! They care so much about each other Steve wants Robin to be happy Robin worries over Steve's injuries.
Why are you making her ignore him or not realize something is wrong with him? Stop trying to replace her with other teens or a romantic interest for Steve! If your (usually whump) fic cannot function with Robin actually being Steve's friend and him talking to her then like. Send her away to visit an old sick relative or something and unable to actually be there and help him. The stobin angst can come from her being unable to actually do anything besides talk him through it to help, being so far away. You don't! Need! To make!! Her mean!! To Steve!! Sure they can have conflict but that conflict should come from a place of deep care, not apathy!! What the fuck!!!
#stobin#steddie#<-yall.....i ship it but sometimes robin is done so dirty in some fics i cannot handle it#sorry for the rant but i saw an older post that just. i didnt finish it but stobin friend broke up bc she ? idk didnt read but then made#NANCY steves new best friend like what are you doing here with this nonsense do you even like robin#so sick of reading fics and then steve goes i cant go to robin :( and im here like why the fuck not boy. she wants to live in your brain#platonic stobin#finda's rambles#this is not targeted at any specific fic it happens way more than it should and its frustrating#steve harrington#robin buckley
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ive reached the point where the term batfam is like a dog whistle to me
#which makes me really upset because i really do love these characters and their dynamics and its just easier to refer to them as ‘batfam’#but if i have to see one more post where jason and damian interact like siblings or really just jason anywhere near any of these characters#im gonna start ripping my hair out#motherfucker would NOT intentionally interact with like over half the batfam#i cant handle any more watered down relationships or forcing these characters into a nuclear family#i saw a mom!selina post earlier and wanted to shrivel up. she would hate motherhood…#im just tired#and god forbid anyone get annoyed with the bastardization of bats characters because ‘um actually i like when everyones happy’#ok great for you go read heartstopper or something#fran talks
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i love francescas personality this season, i really like how different she is from all her other siblings
#also i think shes autistic#she cant handle social gatherings for very long and makes numerous excuses to leave#shes so obsessed with music. like everyone has their interests on the show but she is the most passionate about hers#and just wants to talk about that! and when its good and bad! and not use it as a cover for talking about passion or to make pleasantries#about#its too important to her for her to do that#yeah!!#also just very quiet and kinda socially awkward#fyi its totally possible she had the same personality in her book but i havent read that#bridgerton#francesca bridgerton#bridgerton spoilers
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Look Kristen is a kid so its understandable and Ally is great and I'm sure has a plan for this. But Kristen should not be a cleric lol. I hope that after the wizard synogue incident Cassandra takes the Archfey deal to keep herself safe and Kristen loses her powers because honestly based on her RP that girl has NO wisdom. She has NEGATIVE wisdom. If you don't like the gods currently on offer but can't take responsibility for keeping a new one alive (because you're a kid) then you should just respec. Pick a charisma-based spellcaster class that doesn't require a bunch of work like the Int classes or responsibility like the Wis classes. Give up your soul to Fig (or just give it back to newly-Archfey Cassandra) for Warlock spells idk.
#like I know kristen is a vessel for exploring the experience of growing up in an abrahamic religion and like. developing as your own person#which is why they're working within the existing forgotten realms universe but foregoing the usual pantheon#and replacing it with Sol and Helio which are just God and Jesus metaphors#but that kind of self-exploration usually ends up in either atheism or non-abrahamic philosophies like buddhism no?#neither of which are compatible with the cleric class. like kristen clearly doesnt really like being a prophet. she cant handle it#have her awaken latent sorcery or something. I'd honestly accept her becoming a druid even though they also have a lot of responsibilities#but like shes GONNA kill cassandra if cassandra doesnt leave her first#and that'll be the second god that she created and then killed with her neglect. she may have been helio's chosen but shes a shit cleric#pretty much all teenagers would be shit clerics#maybe she can come back to it later#but cassandra girl you gotta flee. take your cat and your magic and run#d20#fantasy high#fhjy#kristen applebees#fantasy high junior year#dimension 20
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