#i might have too many neurodivergent friends. as if such a thing is possible

[junewild]

read one of those "ask culture on tumblr is dying" posts & it made me nostalgic so i just dropped asks in the inboxes of everyone on my dash. not to sound like a west coaster but i think maybe the world would be a better place if we waved and smiled at each other more on the street.

[cassowariess]

Look, I'm not a Gaiman fan, I've just been keeping up with the tag for updates about the allegations, and I have to say I'm deeply disturbed at how many young people I've seen say things like: "I want to kill myself" over the possibility of Good Omens 3 being cancelled.

I'm not going to scold you, but I cannot stress enough that this is not a normal response to have about a tv show, let alone any form of media. So as someone who lost a family member to suicide last year(for reasons unrelated to fandom) here is some advice I hope you will heed. Some of this advice is geared towards people with hyperfixations as I know the neurodivergent brain works differently.

First of all, for the future:

Do not put all your eggs in one basket.

It's going to become more and more likely in the future that you will be disappointed in someone who created something you loved. That's why it's important to have multiple things going in your life that keep you tethered instead of projecting all your emotional well being on the status of one thing. I know hyperfixations cannot be chosen, but extra interests can, so you need to cultivate a bunch of them. Go for walks and keep a nature journal, learn a new skill with free videos online (there are also communities built around certain hobbies like knitting etc so there's the possibility of making new friends too). You might not feel better right away, which is why it's important you do these things as a routine (such as once a week or more). It will flex and strengthen your emotional muscles.

It's not always possible, but have at least one of these interests be something that has nothing to do with being online. Maybe there's a book group in your town. Check local boards or listings for activities. Once again, there's the opportunity to make friends.

If you're stuck online, watch a movie with your online friends in Hyperbeam. Do this every week and pick a movie from a list of films everyone has chosen. Pick entertainment that has nothing to do with your fandom. Roll a dice for each week's movie.

If it is available to you, access therapy.

I realize this is not always possible due to costs or waiting lists depending on what part of the world you live in. Sometimes there are free groups that talk about depression. I live in the UK so unfortunately I don't know how prevalent this stuff is in the USA or other parts of the world, but your local council might have leaflets about community services and activities that are good for your mental health too, like community gardening once a week.

You don't need to tell the groups about why you are specifically upset, but you can tell them "life feels dull and pointless" which is why you're reading this, right? But the more you talk to people and try to do activities around other people, the less dull and pointless it will feel. I know it's hard to drag yourself outside, but it becomes easier the more you do it.

Talk to friends in your fandom, but also talk to friends that have nothing to do with it. I've been in enough fandom spaces to know how insular fandom can get and maladpative coping mechanisms some people can share that actually make things worse, not better. Go talk to some normies once in a while. Your fandom friends will still be there.

Finally, some suicide prevention hotlines, should you need them.

Link to international phone numbers and resources.

Look after yourself, remember people love you and remember, it's just a TV show. There will be other TV shows and other joyous things in your life, and next time you will have more of them. <3

Signed,

A fandom old who is not in your fandom.

[neuroticboyfriend]

A lot of the time when professionals interact with psychotic people, they try to reduce our distress by getting us to stop believing things. For me, that only made things worse. It was confusing and distressing. I felt angry, scared, and misunderstood. The best way I've found to cope with delusional thinking is something I discovered on my own. I'll give an example here so, huge TW for unreality and paranoia.

Scroll away if you're not able to hear delusional thinking.

Yesterday I started freaking out thinking people could hear my thoughts. This is something I've occasionally experienced since I was a child. When this comes up, I always think there's some massive conspiracy, where everyone can hear my thoughts but they react to me as if they don't hear anything. And they're all in on it. This time, it was triggered by intrusive thoughts that I started judging myself for.

As you can imagine, this is distressing. I started talking to people through my mind, which only made it worse. I couldn't focus on what was happening around me. What I did to reduce that distress is.. weirdly nonchalant. I just sat there and thought "Well, if this is true, it's not like they're going to change how they interact with me. Everything is the same as it was. Nothing I can do about it, might as well just keep on keeping on."

That calmed me down enough to start focusing on what I was doing, and eventually completely forget about it until now. Whenever I try to treat my delusional thinking as something I have to stop immediately... it literally only makes my mind double down. But if I work within what I believe - what I "know" - I can find another way to look at it that isn't so scary.

This works with my hallucinations, too. I sometimes see shadow people; they're more like jump scares than anything. They startle me, and I start to wonder if people I'm looking at are real. But that latter part only really happens if I get fearful of them. To avoid that fear, I try to think of the shadow people as just friends watching over me, checking in. They don't do anything, after all. They just pop up, stand there, and disappear.

(Talk of unreality ends here)

So, yeah. This doesn't work for everyone, and it doesn't always work for me depending on what I'm experiencing/how I'm feeling. But without this, I'd be far worse off; it doesn't take too many missteps for me to spiral. I guess my point is, my reality doesn't have to be "normal" for me to be healthy as a schizophrenic person. It just has to be something I can live with, as happily and safely as possible.

And that's ok. Neurodivergent people are allowed to exist, and some people are helped best by finding ways for them to exist as they are without so much distress - rather than trying to eliminate troubling symptoms entirely.

[joanofexys]

i don't want to start a war or anything but i know nothing about cults. so i'm really curious if you have any thoughts on former ravens being in a long-term relationship with other former ravens once they're out of that environment. like maybe it's realistic or maybe it wouldn't cause as many problems as one would assume...

OKAY SO

this is actually such a good question and something i’m very excited to talk about. yet another disclaimer that my experience is unique, as are all cult survivors, and my opinion isn’t like an objective fact just observations from being a cult a survivor. since i haven’t made a cult post in awhile

but cult survivors tend to flock to each other. without even realizing most of it the time. as a cult survivor the majority of my friends are fellow cult survivors. some of them i grew up with and others i befriended without even knowing they were in a cult. you’ll hear a lot of queer people or neurodivergent people talk about their friend groups being predominantly queer or ND just by complete coincidence and i’d say a very similar thing happens to cult survivors. and of course a lot of us also seek each other out as support systems for a sense of community and understanding and shared experiences.

and there are couples who are in cults together and often get married while in the cults who will often deconstruct and leave together. obviously it seems like the majority of the time it’s just one person in the couple leaving the cult but i wouldn’t discount the amount of couples who leave together or say they’re a rarity.

all that to say i think it’s very likely for couples who were secretly together in the nest to stay together. especially because a lot of ravens haven’t worked through the mindset of being in a cult. that us vs them mentality.

it actually probably seems beneficial to them once they graduate. and it’s probably something that reflects well in the media too. a raven couple signing to the same team and then later publicly being a couple. the media gets to use that “power couple” sort of spin. the ravens get someone who understands and a way to still rely on the partner system. it’s a safe option.

and there’s a couple ways it can go. they feed into each other’s patterns. they cling the nest and everything they were taught. they might function fine that way but they’re not healing. they’re not unlearning anything. it could even make it worse, send them spiralling downwards. they could crash and burn. or it’s a way to slowly adjust to the outside world. they don’t drown without someone by their side. it’s a way to ease into everything with someone that understands. and maybe with that they get the time to think about everything they were put through. as they recognize what was wrong with the nest they have someone to turn to when they feel like they can’t tell anyone else. they get to work through things together. relearn healthy relationships and boundaries and how to be people again. and those things that are too heavy, too shameful, too gut wrenching to confess to anyone who didn’t go through it too can finally be said.

or there’s the option of ravens who never dated in the nest seeking each other out afterwards and dating. this is probably something messy and unhealthy for former ravens who have never tried to heal. they’d likely flock back to each other and become codependent, fall back into habits in the nest. but it also has the opportunity of being something healthy. it’s that same sense of community, of understanding.

even former ravens who have adjusted to life outside the nest, who have relearned how to be people, may not feel comfortable with dating or with being surrounded by people who just don’t understand. and i’m not saying that cult survivors can’t date non cult survivors. obviously those relationships happen and they can be fully healthy and loving with a lot of understanding and growth. they work just fine. but there might be some ravens who feel like that’s not possible for them. they’ll find people with similar experiences, other ravens, who just get it.

in general i think it’s incredibly likely that a lot of ravens tend to reconnect or stay together outside of the nest. and that has the potential to be good or bad. i don’t doubt that some of them just cut each other off entirely. some might be more causal friends than anything. but maybe they meet up for breakfast when they’re playing in the same city. they might send each other wedding invites or christmas cards. a text with a therapist’s information and a mention that they’ve been really helpful in working through things. a lot of them might be a lot closer. teams made up almost entirely of former ravens. a lot of them might be roommates. they spend a lot of time together on and off the court. a change from their obligated time spent together in the nest to actually becoming friends. ravens retiring together and following each other into the same field. coaches, journalists, commentators. eventually moving further away but staying in touch. regular phone calls and texting every day.

the ravens healing does not necessitate them cutting each other out of their lives. though that’s something that people might assume. they can continue to co-exist and even maintain relationships with each other in a healthy way if they do it right. and a lot of them might do it unhealthily anyway. it’s unlikely that ravens uninterested in healing or working through trauma will let each other go when their system relied on an unhealthy level of dependency.

[ovwechoes]

do you write for venture? if so, could you do nsfw and sfw headcanons with them? i love them sm!!

Venture SFW/NSFW Headcanons!

Yes I do! Thank you for the request, and I hope you enjoy them c: Any thoughts or opinions are always welcome, and my asks are open! NSFW headcanons will be under the cut, and please don't read them unless you're 18+/over the age of 18yrs old.

Does Venture have any secret talents or skills they don't talk about much, if at all? I think Venture would have an affinity for painting, especially natural scenery and landscapes. They'd love Bob Ross paintings and would follow tutorials in their downtime, but with their own flair added to them. They also, of course, enjoy collecting crystals and loves collecting rocks to break open and see if they're geodes. They have a secret TikTok to show what they find, and they like to remain anonymous there to keep things private and entirely focused on their discoveries.

What personal goal or ambition drives Venture, which they rarely share with others? How does it influence their behaviour? Venture wants to protect what's left of the environment and the Earth itself; they're paranoid and cautious about deforestation, and the possibility that archaeological discoveries could be destroyed before they're appreciated and found, so it's something that they're passionate about and influences them in their daily life. They don't like to cause too much harm to the Earth when fighting, and they secretly donate money to organisations that put said money into rebuilding the environment. They feel immense guilt when they see the after effects on the ecosystems around them after fights between overwatch and talon, for example. It's something they don't discuss very much, and when they do they keep it simple because they don't like being that open about it incase others' opinions make them feel more guilty.

Who is an unlikely friend or ally for Venture? How did this friendship develop, and what do they value in each other? I can honestly imagine Junker queen being one of the most unlikely allies and friends of Venture. They might both share an affinity for the beauty of geodes and crystals, and Venture would want to share with Junker queen the beauty of archaeological finds that have been found on her land. It's something they'd bond over, and Venture would appreciate Junker queen's acceptance of their eclectic personality, which sometimes rubs off on people the wrong way. They're both weirdos in their own ways, and they both love shiny and historical things.

Does Venture have any unique or peculiar habits? How do these quirks affect their interactions with others? Venture 100% has self soothing stims that aren't necessarily autism related, but help them focus when they're busy or stressed out. They'd do things such as twisting their fingers, playing with small rocks between their fingers, or fiddling with tech just to pass the time. It's something they don't hide anymore, and they like to encourage others to take part even if they're not neurodivergent. They also pick up words and habits from people very easily; they heard Tracer say "okie doke" one too many times and now they can't stop using it even in professional spaces. It's apart of their vocab now and until something new replaces it, it's what everyone at Waypoint has to tolerate.

What is something that really annoys Venture? How do they typically react when faced with this annoyance? Venture is bothered by narcissism; they don't mind when people are confident and admit their own strengths, but it's bothersome to them when people flaunt it as if they're a walking god. They appreciate humble people, and like when someone shows their strengths, rather than plays them up with their words to inflate an ego they shouldn't have (in Venture's opinion). Another big pet peeve they have is when people have ignorant bliss. They believe that being aware and working towards a better future is better than staying blind to what's happening; they very much believe that if you choose to stay unaware of what's going on and how it's impacting society or the planet, you're encouraging the harm it causes and are complicit. It's something they're very passionate about and they can be seen as blunt or too harsh when confronting people like this.

NSFW headcanons are below the cut! Sexual themes are present so keep this in mind when reading.

What is a desire or fantasy that Venture keeps private? How do they reconcile this with their public persona? With Venture being the first openly non-binary overwatch agent, they feel an expectation to be a switch and to have no sexual preferences. Regardless of this, they privately enjoy being submissive and letting their partner take the reigns during sex. They find it hard to be openly sexual, and feel that they shouldn't be because they're trans non-binary, as if it's something seen as dirty in the public eye. However, when they trust someone enough as their partner, their sex drive speaks for itself.

What are some fantasy scenarios or settings that Venture finds particularly appealing? How do these fantasies align with their real-life desires? I can imagine they have a fetish for sensory play, especially the use of wax in sex and foreplay. They enjoy the feeling of it burning their skin, and the submission aspect from their partner doing this for them. In reality, this isn't a make or break thing for them and it's not something they need from his partner desperately to be happy. They would crumble if their partner suggested in with pure lust, but it's not something they're particular about because they understand that not everyone's interested in it. However, they're open with their partner about the idea of being restricted via sight and touch. They like the idea of not being able to touch their partner without permission, and being blindfolded. They're not too into BDSM, and it's not something they're experienced with, but fantasies wise, they'd be open to these things and light bondage if they trusted their partner enough with it.

How does Venture incorporate technology into their intimate life? Are there any gadgets or tech they particularly enjoy? Venture would 100% make a new toy for their partner to use based on one conversation they had about potential fantasies or what they'd want in an idealistic world. They're not too experienced with using toys, but they'd be willing to explore it more with a partner who understood them and accepted them fully, and was willing to do so with them without judgement or pressure. They'd of course make toys based on rocks and based on historical findings just to see how they'd feel in the modern era.

What kinds of physical or emotional stimulation does Venture find most fulfilling? How do they incorporate these into their intimate life? Venture enjoys verbal reassurance and words of affirmation; they enjoy being told dominating words filled with praise during sex, it makes them feel as though they're doing everything right. They love when a partner 'matches their freak' and can get on board with exploring new kinks and new ideas they've considered a couple times. They also love when their partner entertains their behaviours that others would consider weird; it somehow turns them on even more and makes their sexual tension even higher. They love to be touched on their shoulders, their lower back and the back of their neck - that's their main erogenous zones and if their partner touches them, Venture will be left high and dry until they're able to get off fully. It'll stick with them for days as well...

How comfortable is Venture with showing vulnerability during intimate moments? How does this vulnerability impact their relationships? For years, Venture couldn't have sex with someone unless he knew them well. One night stands never worked for them, and they were always left feeling used and unfulfilled. It was uncomfortable, but they take them as learning moments that helped them understand what they like and don't like in sex. They used to only have sex with the lights off, so that they wouldn't have to see what their partner's face looked like after seeing their body naked. As confident and unapologetically authentic as Venture can be, their body was something they felt especially uncomfortable with for years. They still sometimes need the light off to stay in the mood, but it's something they've improved on. On the other hand, Venture encourages their partner to be as vulnerable as they need to be; if they need to cry, laugh, hold them, etc. it's okay with them. It's not a turn off for them to see those from their partner, if anything they view it as a way to build their relationship even more.

I hope you enjoyed these anon and thank you again for the request ^^

[aro-culture-is]

I've been questioning if I am aro or not for the past year, previously I identified myself as a lesbian because I dont have an interest in men, and I usually feel more comfortable on women. However when I try to imaginr myself in the future I dont see myself being in a relationship in the future, like I am wondeeng "how the hell does one manage a relationship"

But I dont know if I am really aro because when I was in middle school I had a sort of "crush" on a person but I was mostly thinking "Hey this girl is really nice and the only person that understands me maybe I have a crush on her" and I really love the idea of romance and shipping characters and seeing other aromantic people being repulsed by the idea made me question even more.

hi! thanks for reaching out. since it's been a while since I've answered stuff like this, reminder that all asks of this nature are filed under the tag 'am i aro'

Your first paragraph is such a common experience in a-spec communities - initially, most folks start from "well, i'm not attracted to x gender, so I must be attracted to y?" or "well, I'm equally attracted to all genders, so I must be bi/pan?" when the problem is, 0 attraction to one gender is not related at all to how you feel about others, and 0 = 0. You're in very, very good company among a-spec folks, including yours truly - who rotated through the whole of LGBTQ before realizing aromanticism was an option that actually fit very well.

With regards to the second paragraph - first of all, mood! Personally, that "crush" was something we'd later identify as a squish, or friendship crush. Hilariously, we no longer like this particular person at all, as becoming friends led to us discovering our specific neurodivergent flavors interacted to constantly frustrate us. Enjoying - or not enjoying - romance and shipping is not at all something inherent to your attraction.

Plenty of outwardly aro folks talk more about our experiences with romantic repulsion and frustrations with shipping culture because we are in aromantic spaces and talking about the sociological implications, but - personally? I adore shipping, dislike seeing irl romance, and think it's mostly interesting to talk about how romance interacts with expectations and laws in society. I don't like to call myself romance repulsed, romance favorable, any of that - I think those are personally limiting to my identity and how I interact with those subjects. Other folks find it useful as a shorthand to explain how they feel, and that's great too!

I can't tell you what your identity is, but I think it's useful to say this: you've described to me a very, very common story to many a-spec folks. You're seeking advice from me, which tells me it probably matters a lot to you, and I wouldn't be surprised if, in some ways, you feel like you need permission, or verification, or any of those sorts of things.

I think, rather than relying on that - what would happen if, privately, you give yourself permission to explore what it feels like to say "I am aromantic", or "I think I'm aromantic"? How do you feel? Nervous, anxious, bubbly, weighed down, vulnerable - those are all common. But the thing is, if I think of an identity I am 100% sure I do not belong to in that way - I certainly don't feel a little flutter of hope. I don't feel like I might be onto a scary new journey. I just feel like I've said that the world is shaped like a rabbit - nonsensical and wrong. If you feel like there's a possibility - does it hurt you to say, "I might be, and what does that change?" The worst that happens is, quite literally, you learned something about yourself.

-- mod axel

[the-guilty-writer]

No Matter What

Request (from anon): hiii if its not too much trouble could you do Reid x daughter reader where she had BPD and she has a anger breakdown??

Spencer Reid x daughter!reader

Summary: Spencer helps his daughter with BPD through an anger breakdown.

A/N: Huge thank you to @huffufflejoy for beta/sensitivity reading and advising me on this work. Your help is greatly appreciated! Now for my usual disclaimer before my pieces that heavily involve any neurodivergent topic: I try my best to potray mental illness in the most accurate yet sensitive way possible. Please let me know if you have concerns or issues with my work. It's important to note that everyone experiences mental illness in different ways and this may not be indicative of the experience of everyone with BPD.

CW: Reader has BPD, anger breakdown, talks of schizophrenia, self-loathing, small amount of physical violence, reader is shorter than Spencer

---

Spencer had learned long before you were born that understanding from knowledge and understanding from experiencing were two different things.

No matter how much he had read about schizophrenia, he could never truly understand what his mom was experiencing. No matter how much he'd read about being a dad, it did not prepare him for actually being one. And no matter how many people he talked to, articles he read, or data he went through, he would never truly understand what it was like for you to live with BPD.

At first, his research led him to believe that he might be able to understand some of the experience. After his dad leaving him at such a young age, Elle's resignation, Gideon leaving with nothing but a letter to say goodbye, and Emily's fake death, Spencer always had an underlying concern that the people in his life were going to leave.

But to him it was just that- an underlying concern. Like how he prefered paper over computers, but wasn't paranoid about it like his mother had been during an episode in which she threw the TV out of the house. Or how he might tell someone "My daughter is my whole world", but if he didn't hear from you for a day his whole world didn't seem to fall apart.

Nothing about your experience would ever be comparable to his. All he could do was try to understand.

Spencer had just woken up when he heard the shattering. He got out of bed, trying not to get his limbs tangled in the sheets, but still moving faster than he usually did at 7 AM. When he threw his bedroom door open, he took in the sight before him. His genius brain tryed it's best to calculate what move to make next.

You were standing in the small kitchen, surrounded by pieces of porcelain. White knuckles were threaded through your hair, threatening to pull the strands out by the root. A look of distress was plastered on your face as your chest heaved. Spencer only hoped that he'd gotten here before the anger turned into a blackout.

"(Y/N), Sweetie," Spencer cooed. He walked toward you, careful to avoid the broken bowl. "Are you okay?"

"No, I'm not okay!" Your voice was shrill in your exasperatedly irritable state. "I- I dropped the bowl and it broke, and now I can't make cupcakes for Henry, and I broke the bowl- I'm so sorry-"

Spencer tried to change the subject in an effort to calm you. "You were going to hang out with Henry today?"

"No, of course no. Why else would I be trying to make him cupcakes?" You snarled at your dad with degrading sarcasm. "All my other friends hate me and now he probably will now too and- and the bowl!"

It wasn't an unusual thing for you to say. Keeping surface-level friendships alive could be difficult with BPD. People didn't understand where the swing of emotions came from, and how you couldn't control the things you said when the mental bomb went off. They didn't understand why you would share a hobby with them, and then a week later, drop it completely. Even when you explained BPD, used your coping skills, and tried your hardest, it was difficult just to exist in society.

Henry made it easier. The two of you had been friends since you were small children. He took his time to understand you. He could calm your nerves, help you cope, give you reassurance, set healthy boundaries.

Still, your dad was you favorite person; your safe place. Spencer made you feel secure in a way that no one else could. It didn't matter how high you flew or how hard you fell, he was the constant presence in your life that you needed. That's why the underlying fear of losing him could make you spiral.

"It's broken! It's broken and I'm broken!" The sarcasm slipped away behind your anger.

"You're not broken," Spencer cooed.

"Yes I am!" You screamed at him. Tears of fury streamed down your face. The look in your eyes was enough to tell your dad that you were close to a breakdown, and he couldn't help but look nervously at the shards still littered on the ground.

Spencer took a risk, walking forward. He got to you in three carefully calculated strides.

"Come here," he whispered, though you were only inches apart and his arms were almost all the way around you.

"No, no-" you muttered. Your eyes were shut tight, arms pulled to your chest as if they were a shield over your heart.

Spencer wrapped you in a hug against your wishes, only pulling you tigher when your fists came towards his chest. Your muttering and sobbing and squirming continued as he held you as tightly as he could.

"I love you."

"I'm telling the truth."

"I'm not leaving you."

"You're worthy."

"I will always be here."

Spencer didn't know if the words actually helped, but he liked to think they did. As the pendulum of emotion began to fall and you stopped fighting in his arms, the only sound in the kitchen became the mantras he whispered and your heavy breathing.

"I-I'm sorry, dad," your words were barely desipherable between dry sobs. "I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I didn't mean- I'm so sorry. Please-"

"It's okay." Spencer kept his voice calm, soothing, reassuring. "It's only a bowl."

"I broke it and I got so-" you choked out the words as if saying them was physically painful.

Spencer had to remind himself that it was. Just like the way a panic attack could make someone's heart race or their palms sweat, the humiliation of being unable to control your emotions made your throat close. He wished it didn't.

"It's all my fault- I'm sorry."

Spencer looked down at your puffy face. Your lip trembled with anxiety. Salt stained cheeks rested in his palms. In the glassy look of your eyes he could see his own reflection, his own expression. It matched exactly how he felt; concern for you that came from pure love. He only wished you'd see that there was nothing in this world that could make him leave you willfully. There was nothing in this world that could take that love.

"I promise it's okay," he kept his voice quiet. "Can we clean it up together?"

You nodded.

"I'll be here so you're safe," he reassured you. But it was also for himself.

You nodded again.

"Okay." He gently let go of your face. "Let's clean up."

Together, the two of you carefully swept up the pieces of procelain. It took no more than two minutes to do, but Spencer couldn't help but spew a few interesting facts. They made you feel better, more relaxed.

"In Japan they use a technique called kintsugi to repair pottery," he explained. "Craftsmen take the broken bits and mend them together with gold."

The both of you rose to your feet, you with a broom and Spencer with the dustpan. "It actually makes the object stronger and more beautiful." He disposed of the broken bowl in the trash.

"Is this your way of telling me that every time I break I get stronger and more beuatiful?" you asked. It wasn't snarky or sarcastic- it was exhausted. "Because I don't feel that way."

Your dad took the broom from you, putting it back in the small storage closet. "Not quite," he said, then turned. "Because a lot of people believe the practice rose from the philosophy of wabi-sabi, which encourages people to look for and appreciate imperfection."

You blinked at him. "I'm confused."

He wrapped you in a hug. "It's my way of telling you that I'm not going anywhere. It doesn't matter to me how strong you are or how beautiful you are- how perfect or imperfect. I'm always going to be here, and I'm always going to love you, no matter what."

[physalian]

So, I’ve written posts utterly baffled by writers who think tackling the intimate nuances and complexities of minorities/ disabilities/ neurodivergences that they don’t have based on ego and research is just easy and no one will notice. But like… there aren’t rules for any of these demographics. All aces don’t think the same way, that’s why there’s like 20 different specific labels under the ace/demi umbrella.

But the reason I don’t think anyone can get by on research alone if this character’s quirk (for simplicity’s sake) is the whole plot and their defining feature is this: There is no ‘default’ person and the 50s-esque model citizen was a caricature. Odds are somebody isn’t “perfectly normal” just with one little outlier trait. We’re all different mixes and blends so saying “I’m gonna write a gay dude, I read this one blog by a gay dude and I’m an expert” is just. No.

This is also assuming that it’s realistic for your character to be absolutely certain about themselves and can diagnose or label themselves with medical accuracy. We’re all just vibin’, you know? Some might, and kudos to them, still wierd to so confidently write something you researched like cramming the night before a final.

Like, if you tell me you wrote an ace, and you yourself are straight or simply not ace and have no ace friends or relatives and just thought it would be cool, but your book is an intense deep-dive into asexuality, I’d bet very good money that it is not, in fact, a deep dive into asexuality, just your extrapolation based on a modicum of research and your own biases.

You’re missing out on so much personal context. I’m ace. Also, possibly aro? But also unofficially diagnosed as autistic and I can’t get a real diagnosis because reasons. And everyone is different so I don’t know where the boundary lies between “this is an autistic thing” and “this is an ace thing” and “this is an aro” thing. You, intrepid author, can’t expect to articulate that if a real person living with it can’t.

You can’t articulate it, because I can’t articulate it, and I’m probably contradicting myself all over the place in a giant game of mental Twister. Like. Romance sounds great, but I’m also fiercely independent and am too used to doing everything alone to actually picture being a healthy team and not having to carry it like groupwork in high school. That image just does not compute.

Or, romance sounds great, but I can’t love you the way you expect and odds are I’m not going to want to sleep with you… but I’ll watch your favorite TV show with you and I’ll buy you that box of candy that you probably forgot you mentioned wistfully wanting last week and I’ll make sure the fridge is stocked with your favorite snack and I’ll do the driving and I’ll text you memes and funny pictures and song recommendations to make you smile and I’ll do 100 other things desperately trying to make up for the guilt of both wanting you to find me attractive, but not actually finding you attractive, but it's actually finding the effort I make and the choices within my power that I want you to find attractive and not 'nice ass' or whatever, of wanting you around and wanting love, but not wanting sex and I guess if you cheat but it's "just sex" I have to deal because you've got "needs" and you're "normal" and I'm lucky to have you around without putting out. While simultaneously daydreaming about an imaginary person who doesn't expect those 100 other things done from guilt, but I got bills to pay and can't be selfish and, well, that person doesn't exist.

But sure, your ace is gutwrechingly realistic because they're an android or an alien and are incapable of a sex drive anyway and not human because, what? All humans have a sex drive, you donut. You just haven't met the right person yet.

No one is just one thing in isolation and otherwise “perfectly normal”. The arrogance and naivety it takes from so many writers who think this can’t be shocked when the negative feedback comes in. Write inclusively. Do not write the deeply personal struggles of a life you did not live, that someone reading your book can look at and think, wow, I can’t believe how wrong they got it. Do I expect to read a perfect copy of myself in someone else's ace charcater? No. Every ace is different, but there's the "ace" flag for a reason.

[scopebite]

Manny...

the hardest part is that the more I think about Boone the more he both makes me miserable and pisses me off wait hold on don't whine in Boone's defense to me because I'm already irritable plus whatever it is... consider the possibility that I've already considered it !! inside and out !! over and over and over and over !! at every angle and overly in Boone's defense too many times so reel it back on track here and wait I also know it's the writing and how it's limited for game space so whatever let me be mad at Boone('s writing 🙄) thanks anyway

and right now I'm thinking about how especially in relation to Manny... he's a shit friend to Manny and they're stuck like that in game since there's no interacting with eachother and even then like fucking step outside of Boone's perspective for a minute here with me

Manny would be so sorry horrified even if he knew any of the truth because what happened was a rotten terrible sick thing nobody wishes slavery or death on the family of their best friend regardless of anything at all

and then he'd probably feel so weird about Boone considering the weight of everything like that's so much to process and it all loops back into other parts

you didn't know your best friend killed his wife and might have almost blamed or at least suspected you for what happened just because you seemed happy she was gone while you had no idea what actually happened to her and you just thought she got sick of being with him in a town she's miserable in and left even others were sure she just left nobody else (yeah except No Bark) saw any signs of kidnapping so of course you didn't like her you thought she ditched your best friend and was hard to get along with because your ordeals* clashed with hers** whatever but you wouldn't betray your best friend you wouldn't sell a pregnant woman to to fucking legionaries and yet your closest best only friend thinks you could have done that !! your only friend !! and even after he finds out who really did it he still avoids you doesn't even tell you he's leaving with a total rando and by the way that tribe you joined as a kid with your cousins? yeah your best closest only friend killed a bunch of them even the children the sick the elderly civilians amongst them that's what nobody would talk to you about but reeling back around that friend your best closest only friend thought you could have something to do with his pregnant wife being sold into slavery to legionaries your best friend thought you'd traffick his wife your closest friend thinks of you that way your only friend sees you as a potential slaver and because why what you were according to ncr propaganda a mindless heartless raider and even to your only friend subconsciously is that it? it couldn't be that right? either way you're alone in that dinosaur alone in the world

and maybe that's why they shouldn't talk or maybe that's even moreso why they need to

Boone is both grieving and should be sorry. All Manny did "wrong" was make the mistake of reacting according to how he perceived a situation without knowing everything. Boone knew more and jumped to worse conclusions with it.

* ** I don't feel like pulling up the references but both autistic Carla and classist anti-khan Carla (booooooooo tomatoes) can be true at once and consider the classic ordeal of one person’s autism (or other neurodivergences) clashing with another's that shit happens all the time it could happen with Manny and Carla too that's right Manny too now

[chryblossomjjk]

bts fic recommendations | 03.14.23

→ hi friends! this is a little segment i do every tuesday (reviewsday get it, aren’t i funny, pls tell me how funny i am) where i read and review two-three fics. as a content creator, i know how big of a role other creators play in your growth, therefore, i want to do my part in making sure everyone gets the recognition they deserve! so with that being said, please check out the amazing fics listed below. make sure to like, reblog, and leave feedback! ♡ #reviewsday #kikirecs

banana clip - @vvh0adie (jhs x jjk x reader | angst, fluff, smut)

summary: nature is great at putting you to sleep. but man-made objects are just as good at waking you up with annoyance. and they’re even better at messing with your senses overall. but nature also made the two most wonderful men who you get to call your boyfriends, and they know just how to comfort you.

for one, let me just say this graphic goes crazy eep!!!

also let me just say, you would write a mean fantasy fic bc the scene setting in the first segment is so good. YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT WORLD BUILDING?? YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT WORLD BUILDING???? YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT MAKING THE SETTING REFLECT THE CHARACTER??? THIS IS IT!!

also i think the representation in the fic is so fucking important like- to have the reader be queer, chubby, and neurodivergent and then depicting in detail the things that come along with it is really great!! especially bc so many young adults read fanfic and thats such a complex time where you're juggling different parts of your identity and how they coexist!! just seriously thank you for writing this!!

"His large hands make haste of grabbing as much of your ass as he possibly can and giving it a good squeeze, oil slick painted nails leaving crescent indentation on your melanated skin. The succulent pain causes a moan to escape your lips. You always knew how to break them down, but he could play too."

oof when i tell u i read this paragraph multiple fucking times bc YOU PICKED OIL SLICK NAIL HOBI I COULD DESTROY MY FUCKING ROOM RN LMAO

“Ah, fuck, it’s times like these when I remember how much of a slut you are.”

dom hobi rattles the fucking peanut in my skull bc i know for a fact that man is the kinkest dom sex freak out here PLS!!! and the mentions of kook throughout made everything incredibly hotter like uGh!! and then i really love when sweet aftercare n cleaning up is added into fanfic after a dommy moment :') <3 overall, this was the hottest shit ever pls fucking read this yall NOW I SAY NOW LMAO!!

paired & pierced - @yoon-kooks (jjk x reader | college au, smut, fluff)

summary: when your professor assigns a collaborative midterm project, you’re paired up with jeon jungkook, the quiet grumpy smartass who keeps to himself and doesn’t fuck with popular kids like you. if you can win him over, he might give you a taste of the tatted and pierced body he’s carefully tucked away beneath those oversized hoodies.

so as soon as i saw that pairing i knew i was a goner!! but babe, this fic made me discover kinks i didn't even know i had like erm?? CAWK TATTOO??? OF A SNAKE???

I HAVE A NEW FETISH LMAO!!! thats like one of the hottest visuals i've ever read in fanfic and it will plague my daydreams from here on out!

where does one find a friend like oc who hooks you up with men like JUNG HOSEOK ?? she is so real for that (one is incredibly lonely despite having friends and never gets checked on by those around her unless they need something which i feel like is so relatable to so many people like i can totally tell why so many readers were drawn to this fic)!! and tim can catch this knuckle sandwich bc FUCK HIM >:(

also the newborn joke made me audibly crack up like the bleak dry humor is fucking hilarious to me-

and i just love their dynamic? like the way you wrote their dialogue is just so natural, which seems simple on the outside but as fic writer i understand that writing believable dialogue is so INSANELY difficult like you literally have to be an a1 writer to nail it as good as you did in this fic!! the talent is screaming!! same goes for the smut!! it was so fucking hot and everything kook said had my coochie wet pls!! i just love the switch for apathetic to complete sex god uGh! i love u n this saur fucking much!!

nature cafe - @virgodolls (jjk x reader | s2l)

oh my goodness i love this so much! like when you told me you were a new writer on here i was already extremely excited, but after reading this, my excitement for your future works has doubled, TRIPLED! you are bringing something new and refreshing to the table! like don't get me wrong i looooveee smut (legit all i write is smut-) but slice of life content is kind of hard to find on this platform! so reading this was such a welcomed change and i loved it wholeheartedly!

you really have a knack for writing in the perspective of the character, which is not an easy thing to do AT ALL! ITS SO DIFFICULT! AND YOU EXECUTED IT SO FLAWLESSY HERE AND ITS ONLY YOUR FIRST FIC? PLS THE TALENT IS UNREAL!!

i also really loved this oc! as someone who is also v sensitive and easily overwhelmed, i didn't find her annoying at all, just incredibly endearing and relatable! THIS JUNGKOOK IS ALSO SUCH BOYFRIEND MATERIAL AND SO SWEET LIKE IM TRYING TO PICK HIM UP TOO UM??? anyways, thank you for sharing your writing! its definitely so scary at first but you did it and you should be v proud of yourself!! i am proud of you!!

[desceros]

Hey, if this is too personal totally feel free to disregard this! But I've seen you mention having adhd more than once, and I know a super common symptom is executive dysfunction. The professionals I see aren't sure if I have adhd specifically, but they agree that I definitely have major executive dysfunction issues. Like... it feels like an actual, physical wall between me and the things I need to do, and even want to do. This wall feels... impossible to scale. I think that's just executive dysfunction in general, though, and isn't really unique to me. I just wanted to know if you have any tips that help you do the things you want to do or need to do even when it feels impossible? I've tried so many of the tips I see online, I've done quite a bit of research into the mental illnesses I do have and even the ones I likely have, and... I don't know. I still just feel stuck. Sorry if my thoughts are disorganized or hard to follow, I'm sorta really going through it right now. I'm fine, just... stressing myself out. Any tips you feel comfortable giving would be so, so appreciated. And thank you for taking the time to read this!

yes indeed, i am hashtag officially diagnosed with what i like to affectionately call my dumb bitch disease (not that anyone else is allowed to use that term for it.... well. maybe my very close friends. but yeah. gotta laugh at the awful things so you don't cry, right?)

so the thing with adhd (well. any kind of mental health issue) is that it's all a spectrum. every human person on this planet is somewhere on the euclidean axis of how many neurodivergencies they have. some people have no recognizable symptoms in any of the recognized areas we have. some people may have mild issues with things, and it's a bit fuzzy if they "have adhd or not." when you talk to a professional, there's a particular line of demarcation that happens when someone is looking to diagnose you with something.

do these symptoms interfere with your day to day life? are they severe enough to rise to the level of DISORDER?

it's completely possible for you to struggle with executive function and not have adhd. you may have something else, as executive function disorder is not exclusively in the domain of adhd, or it might just be that those particular neurons are cranky in your brain. what you're doing here—recognizing symptoms and looking for ways to address them—is really good, and basically what adhd therapy does, anyway.

all that being said, honk shoo honk shoo, let's get into a What The Fuck Are You Talking About for people who want more information on the subject, and some advice i have for you. i'll start generally, then talk a little bit about the writing thing specifically since it's a bit of a special beast for me.

what you are describing does indeed sound like issues with executive function to me.

first, for those new to the idea, executive function is the fancy term for the "executive" of your brain. the guy in a fancy suit who makes shit happen. when you walk by a dirty plate, you have the thought "oh i should put that in the dishwasher." executive function is the gap between the thought "oh i should x" and doing x.

a lot of the problems that neurodivergent people have, especially those with adhd, is that this function is impaired. some days, it's just fucking impossible to move that plate.

and it's not consistently, or predictably. some days, you will be perfectly able to do the thing. yesterday you put the plate in the dishwasher. today you put the plate in the dishwasher. tomorrow you will put the plate in the dishwasher. but tuesday comes, and you walk by the dirty plate, think "oh i should put that in the dishwasher," and then you stand there and stare at it without moving it. and you're like, c'mon. it's easy. you did it yesterday. all it takes is moving your hand. picking up the plate. walking into the kitchen. putting it inside the dishwasher. isn't that so easy? why can't you do it? why isn't your hand moving? are you lazy? are you stupid? this is infuriating! you literally just did this yesterday! you've done it a hundred times! what the fuck is wrong with you?! and then wednesday comes. now you have two dirty plates. now the task is twice as hard. maybe you can do it. maybe you can't. it's a harder task now. now you have three plates. now you're guilty because you have all these dirty plates, and it's a mountainous task now, and your roommate is giving you stink eyes for leaving dirty plates out, and you're a fucking adult who should be able to take care of some dirty plates, and you want to, you WANT to take care of the plates, but every time you THINK about them you flop into a cold sweat—

this is executive dysfunction. it's one of the more insidious side effects of adhd in my experience. that said, there are a lot of little tricks i've gotten from therapy specific to addressing this problem, so i'll give you a list here.

DO I HAVE TIME? this is best used for small, quick tasks like our plate example. you walk by the dirty plate and think "i should put this in the dishwasher." do you have time, right now, to do it? will it interfere with the thing you were doing? for example, if you're on the way out the door because your ride is honking, the answer is no. if you're on the way to get another glass of water while kicking back and watching some youtube, the answer is yes. if you have the time, do it now. now let's say you bring the plate into the kitchen and open the dishwasher. it's clean. you haven't emptied it yet. now the task has changed. but that's okay; do you have the time to empty the dishwasher right now? maybe you only get an hour a week to kick back and watch the youtube, and it's a special time that you need in order to recharge. the answer becomes no. well the plate is in the kitchen now instead of your room. victory.

COIN FLIP GAME. this one i actually got from the anti-planner by dani donovan, which i can Not recommend highly enough. there is a task you have to do, and you want to do it, but you're having a problem getting started. or maybe you have to do it but it feels icky, but you do really need to do it. the important thing for this trick is that it is not time sensitive; if you don't do it right now, it's okay. so you flip a coin. heads, you do it. tails, you get to wait until you have the thought that you need to do it again. if you get tails, then you are allowed, guilt-free, not to do the thing. if you get heads, sorry champ but you're doing the thing. gamifying it in this manner kind of... cheats your brain into approaching things differently, which can help you get around that brick wall.

TASK INITIATION. sometimes, it's not that the task itself is the problem; it's because you're having problem with what's called "task initiation." getting Started doing the thing is really fucking hard. if this is your issue, you can try and approach it a different way, usually by going "backwards" down the order of operations. so say for example, laundry. i have a lot of trouble with laundry. if i think to myself "i need to do my laundry," i have difficulty with the task initiation there. so what i do instead of "starting" at the shoving clothes into the washing machine part, i'll go into my room and make sure i've picked up all the dirty clothes and sorted them out. check my bathroom for towels and washcloths. sort them away. now i'm standing in front of my dirty laundry, and i'm "doing laundry," so it's easier to pick up one of the organizer bags and take it into the laundry room. i went backwards down the line and found a place in the task list where i could begin without the hassle, then i basically tricked myself into continuing past the point where i was having trouble.

BREAK UP THE TASK. this one is good if you feel like you're looking at a mountain and it's so overwhelming you just. don't do the thing. you'll hear it a lot: "just break it up into smaller tasks!" but. what the fuck does that actually mean? what does it look like? it's going to depend on You, but let's look at our plate example. so we just walked by the plate and we know we need to put it into the dishwasher. well. let me start by looking at the plate. can i do that? can i pick it up? let's say the answer is no. well, why? maybe i'm so stressed from work that this is just one too many things on my, haha, plate right now. okay. maybe don't worry about this right now, then. or maybe i'm having trouble because i know that the dishwasher is full of clean dishes, so it's not really as simple as "put the plate in the dishwasher." so, bring the plate into the kitchen. put it on the counter. maybe that's enough for now. or maybe i can open the dishwasher. look inside. it's full, and i don't really have the energy to unload it right now. ...or maybe i do, but i'm just looking at this huge thing that feels too big. maybe i can put away one plate. okay. that wasn't so bad. maybe i can put away all the plates. plates are easy. my trick is i take all the clean dishes OUT of the dishwasher and put them on my kitchen island without worrying about putting them away yet. then i load the dirty things into the dishwasher. well now i turn around and i have all the clean dishes pilled up nicely here. momentum really is everything. one task leads to two leads to five leads to done.

TASK BUNDLING. this is useful if you're trying to be more consistent about something and you already have something else you do consistently. for example, i have dogs. every night around six pm, i feed them supper. now, historically, i've had problems with remembering to eat/feeling like cooking when i wasn't hungry/being hungry but having trouble cooking. i don't need to tell you how unhealthy that is, hahaha. so what i did is i bundled my supper together with their supper. they will eat every night. they will Not forget to remind me that they want to eat. i make their supper every day. so i make their supper, feed it to them, and bam! i'm in the kitchen. preparing food already. so it's really easy for me to keep going and prepare My food. let's say you want to drink more water. every time you open tumblr, bundle together the task of checking to make sure you have a glass of water with you, and take a sip. let's say you want to take a vitamin. keep the bottle by your toothbrush. and get weird with it! don't let social norms hold you back. i have a toothbrush in my shower. i have medicine on the bookshelf next to where i play video games. these aren't the "usual" places for things, but they Work for ME. find the places that work for you, and bundle things together. you'll be a lot more likely to do them if they're tied to something else.

BODY DOUBLING. this one is HUGE. i've actually infected my neurotypical friends in discord with this one, it's so powerful, hehehe. basically, you externalize the executive function. there are a couple of ways to do this. if you want to do something, ask someone to be in the room with you. they don't have to be doing the same thing, or anything, really. but having another Person there (another BODY, if you will) will make it so you can do the thing. you can also do this over discord. for example, my friends and i will open up a voice chat, and we'll be doing things. i'll be writing, khaya will be drawing, yorsh will be writing or drawing, keisha will be writing or drawing... and because we're all there together, we're super productive! it smashes through that brick wall a bit. there is a whole genre of youtube videos i LOVE that target this thing. find "study with me" type videos where you have someone doing homework or something, maybe they have rain, or lofi music, or just the ambient noises of a coffee shop; whatever you find most helpful. i actually body double with a little fox timer i have on my desk. i turn him on for an hour, and since he's "working," it's really easy for me to be like "ok i gotta work too." silly? yes. does it work? yes!

BULLET JOURNAL/APPS. i don't mean the pinterest pretty things where you end up spending way too much time on making a pretty spread. i mean the actual basic bullet journal that the original creator developed because he has adhd and needed something to keep his shit straight. i did this for a while, and i found it somewhat useful? eventually i found more success with the app TickTick, which is so good for me keeping my tasks straight and accounted for, i pay for the premium bc fuck yeah. if you're the kind of person motivated by streaks (think, like, doing something because you don't want to break a streak. i am very much this person.) then i've gotten a lot of good mileage out of the Today app. i don't use it much anymore, but it's very good if that's a motivating thing for you.

WEAPONIZE ANNOYANCE. i do this one a lot. i have certain things that annoy me a lot. like, being wasteful with water really annoys me. so that means i don't like to wash laundry more than once. which means, if i put something in the washing machine, i WILL move it into the dryer. so if i can put my laundry into the washing machine and get it started, i have defeated the demon of moving it into the dryer by weaponizing my own irritation against myself. same thing with gritty bathroom floors. my cat's litterbox is in my bathroom. i Really hate stepping out of the shower and feeling litter under my feet. so i'm pretty meticulous about keeping the bathroom floor clean, even though sometimes i have a moment of executive dysfunction about vacuuming every day, because whenever i hit that brick wall i think. ok. well. we can look at this brick wall that's here. now think about the sensation of stepping out onto cat litter out of the shower. aofjalsfjadlskfjslakfjsalkfj. and that's enough for me to reach for the vacuum. so you can use your preferences against your weaknesses, especially if they're things that you're Very particular about.

RECONTEXTUALIZE. my therapist will sometimes stop me and say "you are should-ing all over yourself." and this is when i'm saying things like "i should x" or "i should y." i should be able to put away this plate in the dishwasher. i did it yesterday! i should be able to do it today! the moment you catch yourself thinking these things, stop. think about it differently. instead of "i should be able to put this plate away," think "i want to be able to put this plate away." now you can say. well. why do i want to put the plate away? because it's dirty, and dirty dishes will attract bugs. i don't want bugs. i want my room to be clean and smell nice. i want to enjoy being in here. now, instead of a chore that needs to be done, you can think about it as a positive thing you're doing. sometimes this is enough to get around that wall.

now. you've asked me about writing specifically, which is. kind of a special beast for me. you said it seems like i have a compulsion to do it—and it really does kind of feel that way. if i go too long without writing, i feel uncomfortable. antsy. like i'm not doing what i need to be doing in order to be Me. as such, it's usually not that difficult for me to convince myself to write. if i start seeing a brick wall about it, i can go "...but... think about the COOL SHIT that's about to happen in symphony!!" and i'll go "OH YEAH" and break right the fuck through that brick wall kool-aid style.

that said. i do experience executive dysfunction with my writing. there are days when i want to write, i have the scene in my head, i have the time, i'm in my special writing place, and i sit down and—and i can't do it. i can't write. i keep clicking into tumblr. i close tumblr on my computer then pick up my phone. i watch youtube videos. it's like no matter what i do, i can Not focus on writing. even though i am screaming and rattling at the cages because i want to!!! i want to write!!! i want to do nothing MORE than write!!!!

often, one of the tricks above will work for me since i've learned how to use them over the years, and i have practice tricking myself. i find particular success with the body doubling in particular for writing. but some days, it just. Doesn't Happen. and here is the ultimate truth that i will bestow upon you:

it's okay if you don't do the thing.

so you don't pick up that plate today, and tomorrow you have two. so you don't do your laundry, so you have to do it tomorrow. so you miss a meal. you go a day without writing. it's okay. as long as you're safe and healthy, it's okay. tomorrow is another day for you to try and do the thing.

stressing out about how much you want to do the thing is counterproductive. you're just going to make yourself ill doing that, and then you'll be less capable of doing things. just... chill. relax. breathe. do what you can. try the tips i gave, look for some more and see if those work, and if they don't... all right. it just isn't meant to happen today. no big deal. do something else today. maybe you don't pick up that plate... but you do fold that laundry that was giving you a brick wall a few days ago. maybe you don't write that fic today... but you do read that book you've been putting off, and now you have a new favorite author you want to pick apart and study. life is short, and precious. don't should on yourself.

[mycptsdstory]

Everyone talks about their disability and how it effects them. THAT IS FAIR.

HOWEVER, let's talk about the children/adults who are also the caretakers, the ones with no disabilities and with a neurological brain. The ones who do everything for their siblings. SOMETIMES and I mean SOMETIMES they are called the Glass Child.

Let's Talk about the Glass Child.

(Link from the screenshot above)

The Glass Child is often referred to as the Forgotten Child, since the parents forget about the other child's needs. Since they don't have a disability or neurodivergent brain. The parent will often use all their attention on the other sibling with a disability, because they need more care and observation. The other child will be left behind because they don't need that much attention. This will lead the child to feel hopeless and worthless, hence the Glass Child.

The Glass Child will often be;

Fiercely independent – they don’t ask for help when they need it and feel more responsibility at a younger age.

Fear – Did I cause this? Can/will this also happen to me?

Pressured/perfectionism/high standards – too many demands placed on them, feeling they can’t make a mistake; they must do things perfect to “not rock the boat”.

Silenced/feeling forgotten – let them have a voice, they want to be seen and heard.

(link to the bullet points)

The Glass Child SOMETIMES have to look after their disabled sibling and help out with their parents. Due to this, their needs aren't being met and they often feel isolated, let down and this can cause depression and anxiety in their adult life. Since they help out the parents, they seek validation and people please, all because their needs aren't being met. Again, this can cause resentment and feeling left out. They often feel, they aren't "good enough", since the parents will put all the attention on the other sibling. They will often push back hospital appointments, dental appointments and other important needs last, since the other sibling needs more attention than the 'Glass Child'. They often feel "less important".

Even to a point the Glass Child will ignore their own medical conditions, because the other sibling with a disability, will have their needs met, compared to the Glass Child. This CAN and MAYBE cause trauma to their childhood to adult life, since they didn't put their needs in front of their own. The Glass Child simply ignored their needs because they weren't "good enough". Again, this can cause resentment towards the other sibling with a disability.

Moreso, to leave high paying jobs, to look after the sibling. Moving back home, to make sure the sibling is taken care of. Again, ignoring their needs and wishes. Also again, can cause resentment. Even a rift in the family.

What are the results in Adult life?

Having problems to connect with people on a deep level

Struggle making friends

Depression

Anxiety

Self-hatred/unhealthy self-esteem

Being overly concerned for other people well being and not putting their needs first

People pleasing

Finding it hard to set boundaries

Finding it hard to say "no".

Being "perfect"

Guilt

Self-blame

Invisibility during social interactions

(Link to some of the bullet points)

All of this, combined, the Glass Child doesn't feel loved. Since, the disabled sibling will get their needs met first, while the Glass Child will not.

WORST WORST WORST case scenario, being a Glass Child can and I mean POSSIBLY cause PTSD or CPTSD.

Glass children take on mature responsibilities at a young age.

They might feel obligated to do more around the house or have higher expectations of themselves because they’re more capable. They might even start assuming caregiver responsibilities for their sibling. As a result, the glass child may miss out on some normal childhood activities and experiences.

For example, a glass child may not participate in afterschool activities if they feel the need to be home to care for their sibling or don’t want to add logistical pressure on their parents.

Some studies suggest glass children are prone to anxiety or depression. The circumstances of a glass child often lead to feelings of isolation, loneliness, or hopelessness. When action isn’t taken early on to make the child feel validated and they internalize these feelings, the child may be more likely to suffer from clinical anxiety, depression, or even post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) as teens and adults.

(Link from this article. Look I know it's Wiki, but this is honestly a great example and helps to understand on a basic level. Since not everyone can understand big long fancy words.)

Here are some links to help you understand Glass Child more;

[resident-gay-bitch]

Hello there, I’m in genuine need of more fandom / online friends so like, if you also want more friends, here’s some info about me and maybe we can be friends? <3

My names Jay, I’ve recently picked it for myself (and then realised I could have possibly had an even cooler name Bo which is the shortened of my middle name and now im cursing myself for not realising it sooner and questioning weather or not to do a switch cause idk if Bo or Jay suits me better?!!). I’m 20 and FtM, and I go by he/they pronouns primarily but I also don’t mind if you use any others :)

I’m also Australian so yeah idk if that’s a selling point or not

Oh and I’m labelled as queer, I guess, but dude sexuality is confusing. I’ve recently been going down the aromantic / asexual spiral of questioning but I’m so unsure of everything I really suck at telling the difference between platonic and romantic feelings. I’m also somewhere in the sapphic spectrum I believe. So if you can relate to this mindfuck in any way that would also be rad.

I write fan fic for the Marauders Fandom (sirius is my everything and I’m also a tall sirius truther) and also Stranger Things but primarily Steddie for that tbh.

I’m also in the Good Omens fandom, as well as a few others more casually and don’t write fic for them :) recently I’ve been starting to watch JJK cause my best friend is really into it

My favorite two movies of all time are Rocky Horror Picture Show and Cars. That probably tells you a lot about me to be honest so do with that as you will :)

My favorite musicians are David Bowie at No. 1 (my lord and saviour), Maya Hawke, Hozier, Radiohead (im not a red flag I promise), Conan (I’m seeing him on fri wtf), ooo and I’ll add SOAD cause I’m really into them this month. But it’s ever changing really and there are too many to choose from, I’d say they’re my most listened to though :) I am chronically listening.

Uh I’m gonna spitball some more facts about me this is kinda hard:

I’m the eldest of 4 kids 💀 one of them is 5 years younger than me 💀💀 the other two are 6 years younger 💀💀💀 (I love them sm the annoying shitstarters)

I love to draw and make art but I suck at anatomy and colour theory it makes me want to rip my hair out (and I wanna be a fan artist so bad)

I’m attempting to learn bass but I also cannot commit to learning the bass (I blame my sibling for keeping it in their wardrobe so I forgoet it exists)

I am 90% sure I’m neurodivergent I just cannot really afford to get that diagnosis rn ya know?!

I did ballet & dance most of my life 🤯🤯 (now I’m a bartender and my old ballet teacher is a regular at the sailing club I work and now I look queer and cunty as hell and every time she sees me she just stares in disbelief and fake smiles it’s hilarious)

I still sleep with my childhood teddy :( I love her she is my one thing I would save in a fire. Her name is charlotte and she’s probably 3 years overdue for a bath but I love her

I’m fucking weird about stars - the shape not the astrology - like I love them. I see them and I get very excited and I draw them everywhere (you can probably tell off all my master lists, they all have stars drawn on the title strips 😭) I just really love them they’re so cute. I almost named myself Star actually

I’m a sagittarius. I don’t know what that means but I know it means a lot of things to people so hopefully it’s good things!

My favorite colour is green but more so earthy and cool greens. I love a good scrumptious yummy green, something mossy something sagey. I have a green wall in my room and it’s very nice to look at.

I lived abroad for a little bit as a teen in Vietnam which was amazing and I’m planning to move somewhere abroad again next year hopefully (seriously get me the hell out of SA)

My biggest dream / goal / career choice for most of my life was to be an actor but now I’m just kinda existing with no real drive or purpose in life. But I might pick acting back up now I’m becoming more comfy with myself and my gender :) my dream role is to play Frank from Rocky.

Uuuuuh that’s all I can think of :)

So yes, I hope I have appealed to your interests in one way or another. And if you’d maybe like to be friends please don’t hesitate to send me a message!

Maybe tell me a cool fact about yourself?

Or if you’re too shy to message first you could just add a random comment here or say something in the tags? I’ll message you! <3

Also if you have anymore questions I am trying to be a bit more of an open book, I love when people dive in with the nitty gritty so if you have strange questions I’ll probably be very excited to answer them lmao

Anyway, I hope you have a lovely day random people in my phone I hope to befriend <333

[anonzentimes]

LONG ASS ASK INKOMING ZEN so its super cold in brazil today so typing is a little hard and there might be weird typos fkshdkjd but

when i was like 14 i had online friends that were also 14 and were into danganronpa but all they talked abt was the flaws of the series and how much they hated the more problematic aspects of it, it was a constant wave of gender discourse and sexuality discourse and nagito is a bad portrayal of mental illnesses and miu iruma is too sexual and this character is bad cause of xyz and that character is bad because of this and that and honestly whatever the fuck else you can argue about this series about, whenever i mentioned that danganronpa seemed fun and id like to get into it my friends would tell me that its not worth it, that the series is fucking horrid that i should run the other way and be glad i never entered the hellhole that is being a danganronpa fan

so thanks to this and like constant fucking weird shit coming out of the hell hole that is the fucking dr fandom on Twitter for like, four whole years I straight up didn't touch the series. a series that I was so fully aware that I would love btw, because i was always into gorey art and i found the art of dr so pretty and the characters had such intresting designs and the pink blood was so cool and i love the killing game genre and the mystery solving aspect, of danganronpa seemed so cool, i did not go near this series with a fucking 10-ft Pole

until literally maybe some months ago at 18 years old a streamer I like said on stream something like "oh yeah danganronpa is fucking awesome im so glad i played it" and I was like fuck it, this guy has high standards, if he likes it it cant be that bad. and so I downloaded trigger happy havoc and i was so pleasantly surprised by it, sure case 2 is a case that exists but like other than that i immediately fell in love with this franchise, i loved almost everything about the game, then i started sdr2 and nagito took over every single part of my brain within 0.2 seconds of gameplay AND DR2 IS SO PEAK JUST IN GENERAL udg was super fucking fun i love touko and komarus relationship and the warriors of hope so much, dr3 was awsome even if i didnt really care for future arc despair hope and 2.5 were awasome the end of drv3 hit me like a truck and it genuenly took me a couple hours to understand that my beloved class 77b wasnt just retconned out of existence and currently im trying to kill executive dysfunction and procrastination and read dr0 and again want to replay dr2 cause my hyperfixated ass would rather play the game when she should be alseep to know what happens next than play it when she isn't too tired to understand whats happening lmao

and after i was done with the series i sat down and thought about how i let 14 year olds on the internet who im not even friends with anymore keep me away from something that now i hold so dear and close to my heart, and i wonder how many people who would love danganronpa will never give the series a chance because not only does the wider interner find it cringe but the fandom constantly tell potential new fans to stay away and act like its the worst midea ever written, the way some people are unable to enjoy what they love without guilt is so sad because not only does it affect them but also others

and this is super personal but i wonder how danganronpa would have impacted me if i got into it back when i found out about it at 14, how much different having danganronpa to hang on to would have made my life when i was burning out at school because i was trying to survive neurodivergency hell with undiagnosed autism and possible adhd

dangabronpa is awsome i love it so so much

YOU JUST MADE ME FEEL SO UNBELIEVABLY YOUNG OH MY GOD. I HEARD ABOUT DANGANRONPA WHEN I WAS 11 I'M PRETTY SURE AHHHH HAHA!!! Overall I think this raises a good lesson that we should trust our guts and from our own opinions on media. Look into things you're curious about, learn if it's worth it yourself, and come to your own conclusions! I feel bad for those who never get to understand Nagito Komaeda, let alone know he exists. This franchise has some negatives but the positives outweigh the issues entirely to me and I wish people gave it more of a chance. dangabronpa is awsome INDEED lmfao.

[starfayy]

Writeblr Intro (cuz i forgot about this)

AYUP everyone my name's Fleur, i'm a 19 years old woman, im cishet and painfully neurodivergent (AuDHD and MADD). Im also brazilian and christian so there's that! (Trilingual beast coming at ya!)

I've been a writer since who knows when, started to write fanfiction in the worst fandom i could've started (...the beatles), went to an amazing fandom -that turned out to not be that amazing but my writing and storytelling evolved exponentially so im grateful- to now being more focused in original works

I'm currently writing a book with my friend (@serenity-of-waffles)*, and i might probably work in scripts for comics, animations and maybe games????? Let's see-

yeah im an artist too hehehe

Genres i enjoy reading/writing: Fantasy, Scifi, Romance, Thriller/Suspense, Horror, Slice of Life, Supernatural

Here comes the lists of things i like to see in a book and that i tend to write it in my own stuff:

FOUND FAMILY!

A good well written romance sometimes doesn't kill ^.^ (im a cliché beast, careful)

Tragic Backstory? Sign me in

NEURODIVERSITY

Supernatural ocurrences and creatures. Analog Horror, Psychological Horror as well

Super heroes? Yes

Mythological metaphores

I write for both Youth and Adult (im a sucker for children's books they can get so dark suddenly and is amazing)

Mystery elements yesyesyes a good suspense

Deep relationships

Consequences. I love consequences.

Historical plots and period inspired fiction

Super powers, creatures, magic, a whole well made worldbuilding (Tolkien wannabe)

SOOOO what am i looking for??

FRIENDS! People to rant about my silly stories and worlds!

More writers to follow and engage and and- ykwim

Current WIPS? hmmmmm

• Eden Fables: The Inkweaver's Diary - (*NOT WRITING ALONE) So this one i won't give much detail, just know that me and my friends we're going absolutely insane over this book and the entire possible series and is our child, you're not fucking ready. The best fantasy book i ever written in my life TRUST ME. Blame Tolkien and C.S Lewis for inspiring us so much- (sorry for the vague synopsis muahahahah) A story of a boy displaced in time and space as he finds his heart and returns to his throne, finding a family along the way while dealing with the craziest adventures.

• Boreal City (future comic :O) - A retrofuturistic cyberpunk super-hero universe about many different points ot view and adventures that are actually connected (like the Marvel Comics universe or DC comics). Its being one of my favorites so far im having so much fun doing it hehe

Its very inspired by many superhero and retro-cyberpunk media, i cant count here how many hehe Synopsis (for at least one of the stories): From a family of superheroes, turned into a villain by his own demise, and disappearing for 5 years, GlitchWave makes his stupendous comeback in an unexpected redemption arc, and it all starts when he meets his brother again.....

• Gritia's Great Mystery - An amazing story about a corrupt kingdom trying to hide all evidence that god exists, aside from other...cruel crimes against certain groups of people. The aesthetic is a mix of enlightnment era, renassaice and victorian age, all together mixed with elements of thriller, romance, mystery and BIG drama. Maybe one of my most serious stories, since i wont hold back in the critics n shit

The Crown Family of Gritia, for centuries, tries to make the existence of the Mighty King, aka god, a tabboo, or even erase him from all existence, alongside his followers. Anything that goes astray the status quo is suscetible of punishment (or worse....)

That makes Spencer's life a bit complicated, even if he doesnt know abt the Mighty King's existence, he's part of a secret society...lets see where this goes right?

OOF DAMMT I SPOKE A LOT HUH SORRY IM A TALKER! Hope to find more writer friends along the way ^.^

[purple-space-aliens]

✮🛸intro🪐✮

mutuals please filter tag posts about and relating to the election with #tagging for goops

if you would like to avoid our posts about our non positive feelings towards winter/prewinter and holidays such as thanksgiving, new year’s day, and possibly christmas, christmas eve, and new year’s eve, please block/filter the tag ‘#goops seasonal moping’

we don’t use code names anymore because none of us gaf lmao. we have dsmp fictives so if you don’t like that then leave. also we swear. a lot

we’re a endo system who has been on tumblr for a little bit and are redoing certain aspects of our blog to be a bit more accurate! many of us are nonhuman in the headspace in one way or another (kin, holothere, etc). in addition to this, we’re all collectively a goop dog alien who also has parasites, or as we call them, “bugs”! we are physically goop, but are usually in a human form as it takes too much effort to intentionally shift so might as well stay in disguise. we are also able to rarely shift into other creatures, such as a jerboa, but we usually stay human or sometimes our true body. originally we were nervous about bringing up the whole physically nonhuman thing, but with the recent in holothere content, we decided to go ahead and show that part of ourselves to tumblr. also, we mostly use the color purple, despite the rainbow username so yeah.

dni/byi

filter tags

goopsona refenerce image

✮🛸basic info🪐✮

~ our name is goop (collective identity) or lemons (tumblr system name)!

~ collectively maverique!

~ collectively we currently use they/them (in a plural sense), it/its, and be/bim/bis/bimself!

~ we use the label holothere usually, but don’t rlly care much abt or mind labels

~ we’re probably neurodivergent so keep that in mind!

~ some of us are adults, while others are not (the body is a minor tho so don’t be weird and shit)

~ endo system (no syscourse, most of us hate discourse and all that stuff)

~ we’re still learning abt the whole parasitical bugs thing, and will add more abt that whenever we find stuff out

~ plz interact u you want, we like to try and meet new people even tho we’re bad at social stuff! (rbs, asks, comments are much appreciated!)

~ we mostly post nonhuman and alterhuman stuff, so except to see that kind of thing on this blog as we get better at writing (we struggle with writing so we’ll see how much improving actually happens lol)

~ the purple goopy alien dog designs is a more online sona version of what we look like, which was designed by a friend!

✮🛸headmates list🪐✮

codename+emoji (pronouns//non-human?//kin type//other)

~ tommy (moots and headmates can call me toms/tom)🌹(he/fae/she//existence related to tommyinnit in some way but we don’t know for sure the details//red panda and bird hybrid//polar bearkin//minor)

~ nick or nikki 🏵️(he/she//piplup and vampire//huskykin//age regressor?)

~ yellow 🍋(alien//whalekin and monkeykin//dsmp ponk but doesn’t rlly like talking abt it)

~ phil 🍃(he/him//part crow//shockingly philza,idk where he’s been tho)

~ cyan (can also call pup) 🦋(kinda dogkin but it’s complicated, hawkkin, arctic foxkin, sockeye salmonkin//minor)

~ ranboo 🫐(he/him//some kind of creature//ranboo fictive but dunno where he’s been)

~ sodalite/soda 🌀(dragon//uses translations form other alters)

~ purple(d)/finn/cosmo (moots and headmates can call me purp)🪻(ey/em/eirs/emself and he/him//dsmp purpled fictive, don’t like me? fuck off then because i like me//alien, rabbit, and jerboa (complicated)//rabbitkin, duckkin, agoutikin, maybe something else but idk)

~ iris ☂️ (they/them//alien//polecat therian//minor//age regressor)

~ pink 🌸(he/him//pig//technoblade fictive but doesn’t rlly care if you call him that or not)

~ crimson 🧣(he/him//demon dog)

~ frost ❄️ (any pronouns, including neos//bug alien//questioning sea turtle kin)

~ taffy 🎀 (any//angel)

~ lime 🍊(any of he/she/they/it//lion)

~ ube 🪁 (he/him, sometimes they, never she//eevee//luigi fictionkin(i think)//age regressor//i’m not the brightest or best at communicating sorry//trans in a kinda confusing way??? [complicated but i feel the need to specify as it is very important to me specifically])

~ forest 🐊 (he/it, maybe other but dunno//crocodilian or gator thing//maybe agre?//it types like this a lot so be patient with it)

~ ace🌙 (he/him//demon//please read his filter tag list)

~ littles 🌤️ (anonymous)