#i might consider making more posts like this but idk if anyone else even cares

[inhumanliquid]

For clarification*:

'Kin (noun): I identify as this thing (usually involuntarily)¹

Kin (verb)**: I have a connection with this thing²

'Kith/hearted: I identify strongly with this thing³

'Link: I choose to identify as this thing⁴

Eiment: I am the embodiment of this thing⁵

'Mask: I choose to adopt the identity of this thing because it's fun⁶

Cir: I relate to this thing so much that it's part of my identity⁷

Linosus: I identify as this thing because someone else likes it⁸

Identimore: I like and want to be this character⁹

Quaestimore: I don’t know if I like or am this character¹⁰

Archetrope: Some part of my identity is closely tied to this archetype¹¹

Otherodium: I identify with/as this thing, but I don’t want to¹²

Quoiian: My identifying with/as this thing doesn't fit into the voluntary/involuntary dichotomy (oversimplification)¹³

Otherspirit: I am physically one thing, but in my hear/soul I'm another¹⁴

Schrodihuman: I am both human and non-human¹⁵

Casshuman: Labeling my humanity or lack thereof is unimportant¹⁶

Humanmore: I am human and alterhuman¹⁷

Icosahuman: I identify with/as this thing in multiple ways¹⁸

Endel: My identity as this thing is rooted in delusions¹⁹

Human+: I am human and also more than that²⁰

Apothane: I used to be human, but I'm not anymore²¹

Caedhuman: My relationship to my humanity was affected by trauma²²

Inexbeing: My identity can't be explained or understood by others²³

Dreamin: My alterhuman identity is different when I'm daydreaming²⁴

Hearthic: This place is my home even though I wasn't raised there/haven't spent much time there²⁵

Auxlian: I appear human but I'm not²⁶

Flicker: My identity as this thing is temporary²⁷

Alterhuman: My identity doesn't match what's typically considered "being human"²⁸

Constelic: I collect the identities of things (for any reason, often voluntarily)²⁹

* I am very pro "do whatever you want forever," and that includes using whatever labels you damn well please; nobody, not even the official definition of a term, can tell you how to identify; use whatever terms you want in whatever combination you want, fuck the nonexistent rules

¹ Otherkin's page on its own wiki (link)

** The use of "kin" as a verb has some very stupid discourse around it, beware the assholes

² What Does Someone Mean When They Say "I Kin That Character"? (link)

³ Otherhearted's page on the therianthropy wiki (link)

⁵ Eiment coining post (link)

⁶ Othermask coining post (link)

⁷ Cir coining post (link)

⁸ Linosus coining post (link)

⁹ Identimore coining post (link)

¹⁰ Quaestimore coining post (link)

¹¹ Archetrope's page on a different otherkin wiki (link)

¹² Otherodium coining post (link)

¹³ Quoiian coining post (link)

¹⁴ Otherspirit coining post (link)

¹⁵ Schrodihuman coining post (link)

¹⁶ Casshuman coining post (link)

¹⁷ Humanmore coining post (link)

¹⁸ Icosahuman coining post (link)

¹⁹ Endel flag proposal post (link)

²⁰ Human+ definition/symbol proposal post (link)

²¹ Apothane coining post (link)

²² Caedhuman coining post (link)

²³ Inexbeing coining post (link)

²⁴ Dreamin coining post (link)

²⁵ Hearthic coining post (link)

²⁶ Auxlian coining post (link)

²⁷ Otherflicker coining post (link)

²⁸ Alterhuman flag post (link)

²⁹ Constelic coining post (link)

[thedrdtpokemoncollector]

Rose Ch2 Culprit Theory!!

(Spoilers for Ch2 Ep12! (and literally every episode before that too)

(i know it probably isn’t her, but i wanted to post my theory regardless! Also, this is unfinished, I just wanted to post it before Ep13 comes out- I’m so sorry to anyone who reads through my stupid little rambles-)

(reminder that all of this is silly stuff my brain thought of while i was sleep deprived after ep12 so- none of this is probably relevant-)

I was looking at DRDT culprit theories for Ch2 and randomly though what if it's Rose-? 'Cause after they found the body, Rose was right outside the room, in the hallway- She was the one who found evidence that nobody else would have found, since it was hidden in the trash can, and more than that, it was evidence that specifically framed someone else. She mentions not wanting to see the body, so she's unable to help with the crime scene, unlike in ch1, where she helps by using her photographic memory to draw a picture of the crime scene before it got disturbed.

But WHAT IF the reason she doesn't want to go in is because she doesn't want to end up accidentally revealing herself as the killer- Like- First off the BDA thing, where 3 people who hadn't seen the murder needed to set it off- This isn't actual evidence, really, but i thought i could mention it- uh- Anyways! Another way she might reveal herself as the killer is being too- useful- Like, how Min volunteered to help Teruko investigate in Ch1, but it was actually just to make sure Teruko didn't figure out it was her. So- Rose could've made a fair assumption that Teruko or someone else could be suspicious- And so she used the excuse of not wanting to see the body as a way to get out of it.

The reason she might want to escape is because of her family- Who she put into debt and also got them out of it- So she obviously cares about them, ergo, motive for murder. (maybe she was reminded of this when Teruko told her the secret she got-? idk lol)

Plus, she mentions the grippy tape in the gym, and how she used it to be able to do a pullup- So she could've used it to get a better grip on the spinny thing during the murder. (I know it’s probably just a way for the tape to be introduced before the murder) She could've taken it from the gym whenever, and since she's the one who mentioned it was missing- Could be to get rid of suspicion. although she wasn't there when the tape disappeared from the gym, you can't rule out that she might have an accomplice- Or she could be the accomplice, either or-

Also, I've seen a lot of culprit Eden with accomplice Levi, but what about culprit *Rose* with accomplice Levi- Just a thought I had.

Rose culprit with Levi accomplice theorists wya

Another thing is the fact that she hides her face when talking to Teruko in the hallway after Arei's body is found- which means we can't see her expression. And since her voice is usually monotone, even when talking about stuff she cares for, we can't get any clues about her emotions from that either-

She's also the first one to mention that the evidence from the murder is probably hidden on the second floor, since it would be difficult to make elevator trips without people noticing it- This isn't *too* suspicious, but also, it could be. Because sometimes Danganronpa is so fucking sneaky and hides stuff in obvious places-

None of this is really concrete evidence it's her, even though she *does* try and push everyone back to assuming the murder happened at night, rather than in the morning like Teruko proved it did, during episode 12- And in Ch2 in general, Rose has been- kind of derailing the trial a bit. Not too noticeably, but a few things-

1- She *did* agree with Ace somewhat when he brought up Nico being the killer. Which is understandable, considering that they *did* lie and steal from her- But it could also be evidence of her trying to blame someone else for it without being overly suspicious.

2- She spends some time in Ch2 Ep9 trying to convince people that Arei committed suicide and not murder. Maybe a normal assumption, but given that they're in a murder trial, talking about a murder, and Veronika had already mentioned that Arei wouldn't have been able to snap her neck by jumping from the swingset- Plus the rule that if it *was* suicide, MonoTV wouldn't hold a trial. And since Rose has a photographic memory, she should've remembered that, right? She even mentions this- in the trial- She then brings up the possibility of assisted suicide, instead of continuing with the murder assumption like everybody else- Rose could've helped Arei kill herself, but this isn't a theory about that, it's about her being a murderer so-

Also, she hasn't fallen asleep once in T2 yet. Which is- strange considering she did in T1. And plus the fact that she possibly uses sleeping as a form of escapism. Maybe because she needs to contribute more to this trial for it to work, but it's still suspicious- I might just be reading too much into it idk- Maybe the reason she isn't sleeping this trial because she doesn't have anything to specifically try and escape right now. Unlike T1, Rose supposedly didn't see Arei's body, so she wouldn't be trying to forget it by sleeping through the trial.. But that's also not really evidence, mostly just guesses-

(Another thing- When the fish in the playground are brought up, she seems like she's going to say something- But then J interrupts and Rose just stops talking. Probably doesn't mean anything but I'm putting every Rose trial scene in here- )

She also doesn't have a reaction to the note being brought up, but she joins in after Teruko asks to see the note for the second time. She mentions how she and Whit figured Teruko wouldn't mind as much if Eden was the one who had the note- probably so Teruko could easily check if Eden was lying.

Rose doesn't talk for a while after that, but almost at the end of episode 10 she mentions that she doesn't have an alibi. Of course, this doesn't mean much, considering what happened in episode 12 where they find out that they got the whole time of the murder wrong- Which leaves almost nobody with an alibi. But I had to mention it so-

After that, she doesn't speak up again until Ace is mentioned as a suspect, and then she only mentions that Ace being on the second floor is suspicious. Which, again, normal assumption, but just let me have this- And after that, she brings up David's 'secret' of family depression not being on the board- Which starts David's whole Nagito arc that apparently lasted 2 hours-

Okay! Now on to episodes 11 + 12! Rose doesn't show up at the beginning part but she does show up when the others are talking about David's real secret. She mentions that no actual good came out of David pushing them to share their secrets- And then after that her only line immediately after David's reveal was just her talking about her memory again- And then after David and Hu's whole.. conversation, Rose mentions how David is 'Definitely the killer.' Which is, well, what everybody else assumed, too- I just think it's interesting how Rose only shows up in this trial when somebody else is being blamed.

After David's whole 'I killed Arei, blah blah blah' moment, Rose speaks up and says they should just vote now. Levi agrees, and he actually almost tells MonoTV to start the voting time. She's really pushing for just whoever seems the most suspicious at the moment- I mean, plenty of characters have done it, but it's still really interesting to me. Mostly because if Teruko hadn't stopped them, everyone would literally be dead. David's plan would've worked-

Okay! Now Ep12-

Rose doesn’t show up for a lot of it- again- But her first appearance in this ep was when Teruko realised her mistake. All she does is say that it was kind of a big mistake and that’s it. Nothing else about it from Rose. She doesn’t speak up during Arturo’s rant either. Rose is shown when Charles asks if anyone has any counterpoints against Arei being killed at 7:30AM, but she doesn’t say anything.

And then they go back to alibis, and like before, Rose still doesn’t have one. She never has one, because she’s always asleep- But that’s not evidence, really, because nobody (besides 3 people) even have an alibi for this-

She doesn’t show up during David’s monologue either, but then nobody really shows up during that besides J, David, Hu, and Teruko, so-

She comments on how scary Hu is after she interrupts David, but Rose still hasn’t contributed much in this ep- Although it was more focused on David and Xander, so that makes sense. When they talk about alibis again, Rose still doesn’t have one. Which isn’t surprising. After that, but before Levi derails the trial, Rose speaks up and mentions not having any clues and not knowing where to go from here-

But that’s all for this theory so far! uh.. I’ll probably finish it at some point- but i wanted to get it out before ep13 so- I’m so sorry to anyone who reads through this absolute rambling bullshit-

[callmegaith]

genuine question: how do you make noise in every fandom you enter? I feel like I've been following you for a while, and every time you enter a new fanbase you seem to get attention. /Pos. Struggling to find a place in communities I enter, so I would appreciate the advice.

I'm sorry you feel alienated, anon. It sucks. I've been there.

First and foremost and this is advice just generally. I would say it's the most important too:

Make what YOU want to make, not what you THINK will get you attention: I'm saying this because making something you don't enjoy just because you know it's what's "popular" is going to make you miserable. You won't enjoy making it, you'll feel frustrated and depressed, and it's just going to make everything worse. I decided one day I would make my own HL rebel oc without knowing if anyone would care, especially considering rebels are just ""disposable npcs"" but this is what I wanted to do, and I have fun making it. And believe me, when you enjoy what you make it'll SHOW and it'll make ppl gravitate towards you.

Include your community: this is something I really enjoy doing personally. I love interacting with people who enjoy my art so I'm always open to ppl sending me suggestions for characters, plot points, or even names for ocs I make. I let the community vote on oc designs, and generally I want them to be a part of what I'm making. Sometimes I'll make little interactive comics like I did with Rusty Lake (idk if u seen that) or just do something fun to give back to the community that supported me.

Don't be too hard on yourself: sometimes the things we make are doomed to not get out there. Social media is not designed to support us so often times, they lack the tools to help us get our work out there. Of course there are more "artist" centered platforms you can use like Inkblot which leads me to my other point

Post everywhere: sometimes your audience will be found in unlikely places. For example: my HL art does best in reddit and on here. Twitter doesn't care much for it but it's fine as long as I'm doing well somewhere else cuz I have my links on my profile that might get others to follow me elsewhere.

Don't give up: which is cheesy to say but true. Just keep doing what you do and you'll eventually find the right audience for you

Have fun: I cannot emphasize this enough. Remember why you started doing art/writing/etc... you didn't start because u wanted to get famous on the internet (at least I hope not) you did it cuz u thought it was fun. Making something you love shouldn't be hurting you and making you feel alienated.

Everyone matters: ik there's only very few ways we can say "thank you!" To someone commenting that they love something you made but say it anyway

Literally all I do anytime in any fandom or space is I try to have as much fun as I can. Like my bio says "I do what makes me happy"... Do what makes you happy, anon. 💜💜

[coeluvr]

(Genuine question and sorry for the word vomit in advance) the faq said that having a child consort in universe is considered not normal/acceptable. Will we get to see more people talking about that what luceris did was not okay? So far from the asks it seems like the in universe attitude is c'est la vie ish (or that it's secretly some weird adoption situation but idk my memory might not be right)? Like MC is a child married to an adult but things could be worse (like dying)? Idk if it's me missing some things but no one else seems to have a violent reaction except lancelot (maybe the council but that feels more like because luceris strongarmed them into doing what he wants)? Luceris also seems to have a decent enough popularity (enough to at least stabilize a whole other country), so does that mean people in universe are willing to accept him marrying a child if it meant food or better living conditons? Or just be okay with a child spouse?

Will there be more discussion within the story about the impropriety of Luceris' actions?

Yes.

Are the people in universe willing to accept him marrying a child if it meant food or better living conditons? Or just be okay with a child spouse?

Yes but only in this situation because MC's parents weren't the best rulers and with everything going on it almost felt like it was MC's price to pay since their family wronged both the public and Luceris and MC was the only one left alive.

I wouldn't say they (vesphirians) worship the ground Luceris walks on because he takes care of them better but it's like "yeah at least now we have this, poor kid but shit they have much more than us even after everything" because most people have so little (monetarily) that they automatically view the world in a materialistic way.

This kind of ties with that one post I made a few days ago in which it was basically saying how people fail to view that even if MC has "everything" they don't have what mattered to them.

Some do view it as an odd adoption scenario because it's clear to anyone who sees Luceris and MC that they don't actually have THAT type of relationship.

I think they just use that excuse when they run out of "reasons why this is fine" 😭 most people don't think it's fine or normal until someone questions it like "how come everyone accepted it so quickly for some bread and juice huh" then they feel the need to make it acceptable so they don't start feeling kind of bad.

[wereh0gz]

Suddenly feeling very dissatisfied with what project: new moon turned out like

Or. Well. I guess I shouldn't say "suddenly" bc I've been feeling a vague dissatisfaction with it for. A while. But only know am I starting to parse out the reasons why I feel that way

With it having been out for a while now, I think back on all the things I could've done or could've executed differently, but didn't think of at the time so I didn't do them

Nox, for example. As a character, he's just kind of a vehicle for the story to happen, a source of torment for Rue, and the reason Sonic's werehog form is brought back. He never got to be much else. He's not very present in the story anyway despite being the main villain, and besides his obsession with Dark Gaia and lack of ethics, he's not really... much of a person

I got really lazy with fleshing him out so his entire character ended up just being evil antagonist. And honestly now I feel his role in Rue's story could've easily been taken by someone like Eggman with only a few changes

Rue's parents could've been way more developed too. They really only exist to make Rue's tragic backstory More Tragic and that's pretty much it. They're even less developed than Nox. Like they're not even characters even by the end of the story

And there's also Specter and Phantom, whom I like and have developed more than those I talked abt above, but I feel like I didn't really show enough of them as individuals. They're just kinda there to be Rue's friends and fight ghosts and not much else

It's like. Idk. I feel like I only really wrote that fic to justify my ocs existing and interacting with Sonic, and justify Sonic's werehog form being brought back even through it wasn't really necessary in the end. It was fun at the time, sure, but that rose-tinted view I had of it has kinda faded. Sometimes I even feel like I kinda rushed it bc I was so desperate to get that story out, since I've been working on these characters and the fic for so long. I was satisfied not bc I felt I made something good, but bc I was finally *done* with it. Now that's biting me in the ass and making me feel like all the work put into it went to waste

Hell now I'm even considering retiring Nox's character entirely (he is like. The biggest part of why I've been feeling crappy abt the fic now that I think of it) and giving Rue another revamp. Tho it feels weird to do it now bc the fic they're part of is out and finished. They are my ocs and I'm allowed to do whatever I want with them, but still

Whatever it is I decide to do, the twins probably won't change much, if at all. Not sure abt Sonic's redesign, I don't really wanna change it but I might have to recontextualize why he looks the way he does in this au

Idk what to do with the story yet, if I wanna rewrite it or not and just have my ocs existing in an au where Sonic never lost his werehog form instead. Really undecided abt all of this stuff rn. I definitely won't be deleting the project: new moon blog or anything tho, just won't be posting there anymore probably

Idk if this post makes any sense of if anyone actually cares but whatever I just need to get this off my chest

[pianocat939]

I was wondering what your head canons for “the turtle kidnapping the reader platonically but then developing feelings for them while they are being kept by the turtles.” It would make the most sense in a yandere setting obviously. But like would it affect how the turtles treat the reader compared to if the feelings developed normally.

Btw love your writing!!

I am not 100% sure if I understood this correctly, but I think I did. If it isn't please do ask again.

Thank you. 99% of my writing is done at midnight with little to no sense of direction so if you think it's great then I'll take it.

Tw: brief mention of manipulation, trauma (it's Raph), obsessive glorification, isolation, possessive characteristics

So from what I understand, you're asking: How would the turtles treat MC differently as yanderes after developing feelings?

In the post you referenced, I did only do a platonic reaction so I suppose this can be considered the romantic version of it (because that's what you asked for right???)

I would say the most noticeable changes in behaviour when it goes from platonic to romantic are Leo and Donnie. Raph and Mikey just tend to be much more prone to physical affection as well as needing more of your presence.

Leo:

I think the easiest way to describe this is his behaviour becomes more extreme and maybe even introduces a new characteristic: possessive.

Now I might've put in this possessiveness with my platonic works before, but romantically speaking, he will more likely be possessive rather than the times he's platonically obsessed with you.

Sure he might ramp up his manipulation and try to be more useful to you but nothing is more prominent than how easily jealous he gets when anyone else tries to take you away from him (on some occasions even his family).

He'll hold you close, a certain madness in his eyes, and assertively states, "No one can take you away from me" or "I'm the only one you should rely on".

He isn't saying such things to intimidate you, he means them with his entire heart. If someone tries to intervene, he's going to kill them. If you rely on other people more, he'll isolate you so only he can take care of you.

Donnie:

Like Leo, I think another characteristic will be introduced as well: clingy. Now when I say clingy, I don't mean physical affection clingy, I mean "spending time with you every moment" clingy.

He wants to spend every waking moment in the same room as you, to not only ensure your safety but so he can satiate the unease he feels when he's not with you (he has separation anxiety but again wouldn't admit it). The fact he's close with you is a lot to say, but harbouring romantic feelings is a whole new level.

Whenever there are moments he's not near you, he feels like hiding in his shell sometimes. It's like an itch you can't scratch so it stresses him out. He's not like Raph who literally goes on a rampage or starts crying, but he definitely got the annoyance.

The reason this clinginess develops is 1. romantic feelings and overall closeness 2. he covers it up with the excuse of "keeping you safe"

He may be more attached to you, but that doesn't mean he's going to willingly admit his true feelings (unless he feels the time is right)

Raph:

As I said before, Mikey and Raph don't change too much.

I think Raphie tends to be more open with his feelings instead of hiding them away. He won't cover it up with some excuse from the interference of his eldest sibling syndrome.

I suppose he might want to keep you safe but even then I think it's a mindset that he gained from his syndrome.

(I apologize for the lack of ideas. I really can't see any difference)

Mikey:

Maybe more prone to physical affection. Like pecks and nuzzles. He's more confident doing such things.

You know how he's like the "cult member" of the brothers? (Not in the show obviously, I mean with my writings). He's more meticulous with his details on romantic gestures.

Shrine maybe? Takes more intimate things like idk, shirts, and jackets.

(I'm struggling help)

So here are some basic ideas on how they would react.

——————————————————

Need to sleep.

- Celina

[tyunn1ngz]

I just discovered your account and oh my gosh FIRST OF ALL in the soobin smut alphabet you mentioned peeing after sex AND LIKE IVE NEVER SEEN ANYONE ELSE TALK ABOUT THAT EVER i know it might be a little weird but a lot of people don’t put that in their smuts\ fics and I kinda feel like it’s a big part of aftercare/ sex and making the fic/ smut/ wip more realistic 

HEHEHE idk it always makes me a lil crazier thinking abt the realistic sides of sex w them n its weird but that as a whole would make me like oh they rly care does that make sense ,, ?? like most men dont gaf and even more likely dont even Know that its a thing does that make it make more sense .. probably not and doesnt matter considering most of my posts talk abt creampies anyway so not exactly the pinnacle of safe sex here but oh well …

anyways ALWAYS PEE AFTER SEX EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and i think even after generally masturbating w penetration i think is apparently good too welcome to ur sex ed lesson w jj 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

[mytragedyperson]

Thoughts I had while reading TCF/LCF chapter 16

Quick note before I begin – the reason I call it TCF and not LCF is because that’s technically what I’m reading. I’m currently reading it on EAP. If there’s an official English version I can read feel free to point me in the direction of it but, since TCF is what it’s called on the site I’m reading it on, that’s probably what I’ll refer to it as. If this is a problem, please feel free to unfollow or block my posts but I don’t really refer to the book’s name at all in the actual posts though I do use names like Beacrox and stuff. I’m hoping this isn’t a huge problem for anyone, but I just thought I’d put that out there. This applies to all posts I make about TCF so I won’t repeat myself. As far as I know, there is no official translation, and it feels slightly wrong to use LCF because that’s not what the version I’m reading is called. This probably won’t change unless there’s an official English version. Just wanted to put this out there for those who care about this. Without further ado, I present to you, my thoughts

That right there, Cale’s “who will go if I don’t” perfectly sums up this character and why he does the things he does. Why does he mess with the white star so much? Who will if he doesn’t? why does he loot so many places? Who will if he doesn’t? why does he save so many people? Who will if he doesn’t? that might actually be one of the most consistent parts of his character. He does these things because, if he doesn’t, who will? No one else is gonna save the Black Dragon, or Paseton. They might try, if they knew but they don’t. so who will if he doesn’t? no one. And that’s not acceptable to him. This isn’t to say he’s the only one who would or could help people, just that, in most situations, he’s the only one who can.

And Venion is officially present. Wish he wasn’t but he is.

The fact that this utter waste of oxygen is considered a typical, authoritative noble is really sad. No wonder their world is doomed if this is a typical noble.

I feel like most villains are at least slightly smarter than Venion, honestly. Maybe not necessarily in this novel, idk about that, but villains in general. Most of them would know not to try and tame a dragon. I feel like that’s pretty basic common sense. You know what, yes, even the villains in this novel are probably slightly smarter at least. Even the bandits I was making fun of last chapter were smarter, though not by much. They had no way of knowing this carriage belonged to a noble travelling with a Choi Han and an assassin and a torture expert. Usually having the numbers game is an advantage. But my point is they didn’t know these things. Marquis Stan and Venion know this is a dragon, that’s the whole point. That makes them a lot dumber than the poor bandits who just chose the wrong carriage on the wrong day, imo.

One thing I do admire about Cale is his patience and ability to keep a calm ead even in front of something like Venion. I can’t call whatever he is a human, but calling him garbage or even human garbage is an insult to garbage and, considering OG Cale is supposed to be considered trash, that just feels more wrong. So Venion is a lot worse than living garbage, but calling him a monster feels like giving him more credit than he deserves and also is offensive to monsters so idk what he is. Also can we just think for a second about the fact that, in this novel, in this world, someone who drinks a lot and trashes places, has a worse reputation than the people torturing a baby dragon and watching it for amusement. Now, I know they’re not exactly adverting that fact but most people know he crippled (am I allowed to say that? Is there a better term? Idk, sorry) his older brother, and yet somehow more people hate or look down on OG Cale than Venion. Again showing that the typical nobles have some serious issue and skewed perspectives and priorities. You can do a horrible thing and everyone know you were responsible but, as long as you have status, power and appear like a normal noble, well, that’s just how it is. All this to say fuck Venion Stan, Marquis Stan and anyone who allies with him. Taylor is the only good person in that family and idc what anyone says about that.

Also I know the man was tortured but I don’t remember Choi Han punching him, and if Choi Han didn’t punch him, I think he should have, as a treat. He deserves it. Both of them do.

And nobles are supposed to have class and care for their people. I guess we’ve both been disappointed today. If someone has clearly fallen and you can see that, you stop. Get your head out of Venion’s ass. You can kiss it all you want, he’s still not going to respect you. sorry, I know he’s like a servant or something but that doesn’t make what he’s saying less asshole-ish. This is why we don’t associate with Venion. We become assholes if we do.

Also I know this isn’t the time but can we just take a second, before Venion or his lackey piss me off again, to admire this relationship, dare I say friendship, between Hans and Choi Han. The way he cares for him and doesn’t want him to get in trouble. I feel like Hans is definitely cheering him on on the inside and agrees with him but can’t say anything due to being a servant for the Henituse family. Hans and Choi Han friendship. I wish we saw more of this. I hope we do as the novel goes on, even if it's just a little. I want them to be besties. Idek why.

You know, I feel like it would be so easy for people to look at Hans and just see him as dumb or something but he’s not. It’s not his fault no one tells him anything. He actually has a decent amount of knowledge on things, like the noble families and what he says about the rock towers and stuff. He’s not dumb, he’s just working with the information he has.

So they were trying to get Choi Han in trouble, right? And it probably would’ve worked, except Cale saw everything and is a generally good person so agrees with Choi Han’s actions… except doesn’t this look worse for Venion? Like, another noble, and someone travelling with that noble, who is known for being trash, shows more care and compassion for this guy than Venion. It definitely reflects badly on the Tolz family, or at least it should, that a noble from another territory, who is known for being trash, is kinder and less intimidating and cares more about your people than you do. Like, I know this is unlikely but I feel like, if ever this bar/inn owner heard someone talk trash about Cale he’d be like idk he isn’t that bad. You know he actually stayed here once, one of his guards saved my life, and would kinda defend him a little, but he wouldn’t do that for Tolz. If a good way to tell what nobles are like is to look at how people in their territory act, then the fact this guy wouldn’t defend Venion or Tolz from criticism but arguably would defend Cale says more about Venion and Tolz than anything really. Especially after Cale becomes Young Master Silver Shield.

I may be wrong but this is the first time we see Cale actually mad/genuinely annoyed by someone right? For all he says Hans annoys him, he’s actually never seemed particularly annoyed at Hans. And everyone/everything else he’s been more surprised or scared than mad. He wasn’t even annoyed when he was brought to this world. On one hand I get it, I’m angry at Venion too. I just think it’s interesting to note.

Cale really thinks about everyone, even this old man.

Idk why but Something about Cale right now, the way he tells Choi Han to calm doen is so attractive to me. Maybe it’s how calm and level headed he is, maybe it’s how in control he seems. Idk. Also not important but in my head I don’t see red haired Cale Henituse, I see black haired KRS and idk why.

You know who I think of when I remember Venion? Years ago, when I first got Facebook I’d stumble across photos of like hunters posing with animals they’d just killed and looking so proud of themselves, and it always just filled me with anger and confusion. Like, I’m not a vegetarian or vegan but something about that just seemed so wrong to me. Venion reminds me of a worse version of those people. So pleased to see an innocent animal hurt and proud of themselves for having something to do with it.

When I tell you that reading this man’s torture/punishment scene will be so satisfying to me. He deserves so much worse than he got.

No he stole the carriage. He’s never even heard of Count Henituse. And those knights are paid actors. Why do people insist on asking obvious questions? To start conversation? There must be a better conversation starter than that. Honesetly how Cale hasn’t rolled his eyes at this amazes me. He doesn’t even think the sarcastic thing. I simply couldn’t do that.

I think Venion has bigger problems than being rude.

It makes sense that most people would just naturally be disgusted by him actually. Humans in general typically have fairly good instincts. We can kind of sense when others are terrible human beings. Obviously it isn’t perfect but it is there. The people who follow him probably either fear him or are just as terrible but if most people hate him, it’s probably not just because he’s rude. Venion would probably be too arrogant to pretend to be someone he’s not, so his bad traits would be fairly obvious and I think, when someone is this horrible, they can’t fully hide it anyway. He may not be advertising the Black Dragon thing but there is so much wrong with him and he has so many bad traits it would be impossible to hide them fully, if he even bothered to in the first place.

I don’t get how he’s convinced himself any version of Cale is somehow worse than him. The worst thing OG Cale did was probably what he said to Choi Han, that didn’t happen this time, so the worst he’s done is get drunk and trash some bars and shops. Meanwhile Venion has permanently injured and plans to murder his older brother, and is regularly entertained by a child, no, a toddler getting tortured. He needs to be smacked back down to, well, not earth, whatever their world is called.

Again, still don’t get how Venion would ever look like the better or superior one in this situation. His carriage nearly ran someone over, his lackey berated the person who saved the guy they nearly hit, and then he randomly tried to start shit with another noble and insulting him in public, when the other noble hadn’t actually said or done anything to anyone. No matter how you put it, Venion is the asshole in this situation, and everyone would see that so idk what superiority he thinks he’s showing here.

See Cale gets it. Why ask something you already know about? Oh so he can point out Cale is trash. pOk the trash is still like the least problematic person in this situation so really it just makes you look worse. Btw not saying Choi Han is problematic or anything, hopefully you get my point, it’s a rare occasion of Cale being the best behaved from the outside. Is behaved a word? If it wasn’t it is now.

Idk I think Cale’s doing pretty well at being a noble and this type of talk. If that was me I’d just be rolling my eyes every time Venion spoke.

Also fuck Marquis Stan. He’s just as responsible for Taylor and The Black Dragon and is a shit father and noble. He should’ve been tortured just as much as Venion. Idc.

Is the three other children including Taylor? Because if not 3 siblings and either none of them know or none of them care about the dragon being tortured. I’d like to give them the benefit of the doubt but idk if I can.

Ok so it doesn’t include Taylor.

And none of them care that the oldest brother was crippled by their other brother? Not one? Man, what is up with this family? Why do they all suck so much? Taylor deserves batter.

Imagine if KRS was transmigrated in the Stan family instead. He’d hate them so much but I feel like their downfall would come even quicker, and he’d still help Taylor and Cage because he doesn’t want to be the Marquis. He could even tell them about the black dragon to help Taylor take down his family. And he’d still be in the capital so be able to help with the plot. Can’t decide how he’d get the Shield, but idk, could be fun.

Kinda love how he refers to it as our family already. That’s cute.

Tbf I don’t think nobles not wanting to Take / associate with Deruth’s territory has much to do with it being greedy, because even if it would be greedy, what are the chances the other nobles would all care. It’s probably more to do with the Forest of darkness. Whoever’s responsible for Henituse territory is responsible for watching the Forest of Darkness and, let’s face it, most nobles won’t want that responsibility. Like looking greedy might be some nobles’ concern, but at least one noble family wouldn’t care about that.

This bitch really had the audacity to try and compare himself to Basen? Please those are two completely different relationships. Basen isn’t a complete psychopath/narcissist. And for that matter Cale isn’t Taylor. And did he really just try to call Taylor the trash eldest son and himself the pretty smart younger brother? God he’s delusional. It’s so much worse than I remembered. Delusional, arrogant, dumb, pathetic, horrible. There’s not a single good quality about this guy. Also claims he’s smart but doesn’t realise that Cale dislikes him, dare I say hate him, more than he hates Cale, but that could also be arrogance so idk.

If Venion didn’t like me and compared me to Taylor I’d take that as a huge compliment actually.

Hate to point this out again but he failed to appear as a proper noble when his carriage nearly ran someone over and his lackey blamed that person. Doesn’t seem very proper to me but what do I know? Maybe that is proper behaviour.

Also all these people just heard you call this man a waste of time and an obstacle. I know that some rich people do see poorer people like this but surely this is one of those things that, as a noble, you’re supposed to think but not say out loud? I know they’re not your people but it still seems wrong. Also wouldn’t it appear to most outsiders that he only told his lackey to stop because he realise another noble was there and he wanted to look good in front of him. Again, there’s no way Venion actually realistically comes out of this looking morally better or superior in any way to Cale.

You can practically hear the disgust in Cale’s thoughts. That’s truly impressive.

Don’t worry Venion. Cale did a very good job of teaching his people that distinction. Although his idea of people who have a right to walk this earth may differ from yours. Also again he just very publicly stated that this man, who hasn’t actually done anything wrong, doesn’t have the right to walk the earth or whatever… because he’s not a noble I guess?  Honestly, can you imagine a noble in our world saying this shit like in present time? I mean not much would happen lbr but everyone would at least be like we hate you, that’s a disgusting thing to say.

Also is now a good time to admit I have no idea how nobility actually works and therefore have no clue of the hierarchy?  Ok so google has informed me that Marquis is higher than Count and now I’m sad that a dragon torturer has a higher rank than Count Henitus, and say what you want about him, but at least he actually cares about his people to the best of his ability with the knowledge he has.

That’s offensive to dogs. At least sometimes when they yap it’s for a good reason, usually not but sometimes. (I’m not hating on dogs, I love dogs, I have two dogs, but they do tend to bark for no reason)

I don’t think there’s actually a word for how much I hate this man. Hate and despise come close but feel too weak a word. loathe maybe but every time I think of the word loathe or loathing I think of the song from Wicked, and that song could so easily go the complete opposite direction. Maybe abhor but again these words feel too weak. They don’t fully capture the anger, the disgust, the complete inability to find even one good thing about him.

What I’d give to see Choi Han punch him, just once.

The Tolz family also seem like idiots but they also seem too pathetic to actually hate? Like they just go along with keeping a dragon on their territory and letting the Marquis torture it there? Dumb, dumb as hell. I’d feel sorry for them but they brought it on themselves and so instead I look about them in about the same way I imagine most people look when they see Florida Man in the news, just a why would you do that? Confusion but still more angry than I probably would be at most Florida men or similarly stupid people in the news. A more confused version of the anger I feel when there’s a child abuse story in the news and one of them is like oh but I didn’t abuse them, when there is proof they knew it was happening and were fine with it/amused by it/encouraging it or just didn’t care. You know what I change my mind I do hate the Tolz family, just less than Marquis Stan and Venion. But yeah fuck the Tolz family too. Being pathetic and dumb is no excuse honestly.

Cale needs a reward  or something purely for not punching this man.

Also can we tak a second to discuss the difference in anger and how it’s expressed by Choi Han and Cale. The best way I can put it is Choi Han’s anger is like fire, right? It’s heated, passionate, comes on and spreads quickly and suddenly, is very destructive, hard to stop and contain, though it can be, and is harder to hide. Cale’s anger is like water, like the ocean. It’s cold, he looks very calm on the outside, so you don’t realise he’s angry, but under the surface he’s raging. I’ve always thought the ocean was beautiful and at the same time thought it was one of the most terrifying things there is, and not just because I can’t swim. With fire, the danger is there, it’s obvious, you know it’s dangerous, you know if you touch it you’re gonna get hurt, you’re gonna get burned, and that leaves a permanent mark. But the ocean isn’t like that, the danger isn’t as obvious, at least if you can swim, you could go in the ocean a million times and be just fine, and then one day you get stuck in the wrong tide, and you try to fight against it but you can’t. and there’s so much we don’t know about the ocean, so much mystery surrounding it, a lot of stories, some true, some not true. And the most dangerous thing about the ocean is how peaceful it looks, how calm, how it lures you in. even though I know I can’t swim, I still feel the urge, when I see the ocean, to just jump in, even though I know that would be a very bad idea. A lot of this applies to Cale, there are a lot of stories and rumours about him, he looks more calm than he is, he draws people in, a lot of those people survive and are just fine, but some get dragged away by the tide. The thing is fire and water, with all these differences, still have similarities: they both can hurt/kill you, and they can both be suffocating, and they’re both pretty to look at but can hurt you if you’re not careful. And that just feels so similar to Choi Han and Cale to me. Plus Cale managed to calm Choi Han down, a bit like water can douse a fire and put it out. Cale is water, Choi Han is fire, they’re both forces to be reckoned with and Venion pissed both of them off. He played with fire multiple times but he also earned the ocean’s fury, and an angry ocean… well, we all know how terrifying, how dangerous, that can be. This turned out more poetic than I intended so I’m gonna go ahead and move on.

Again he’s awfully judgy for someone who gets his kicks from torturing a 4 year old.

Cale subtly messing with Venion by purposefully using the hand he helped the old man with to shake Venion’s hand. Also the fact Cale is more disgusted to touch Venion and Venion doesn’t realise it.

also is the lackey a servant? I thought they were but idk. Oh well, not important

Cale’s ability to say these things without giving away that he’s lying is truly impressive.

Oh good, Venion’s gone. I apologise that this one is more angry/less positive. I just can’t stand Venion or people like him.

Cale: lowkey rants about everything wrong with the interaction with Venion

 also Cale: I’m not that angry though

maybe not angry necessarily but he is very much disgusted. Even then he is a little angry, which is fair

again don’t get how exactly Cale would look bad in this situation, especially when compared with Venion

honestly Choi Han and Cale’s conversation here is actually great. Cale almost comforts Choi Han, and shows that he understands how Choi Han feels and where he’s coming from, and he agrees with him. He validates Choi Han so much but his plan to destroy Venion is different. Choi Han could and would beat Venion up, maybe even kill him, but Cale, Cale takes the things he and the Marquis care about the most, their status, their power, their image, their money. For people like Venion and the Marquis that’s much more devastating than a beatdown they could recover from and use as ammunition. And then he doesn’t even really ask or demand Choi Han helps him, he offers, gives him the chance to decide or agree to help on his own, and it’s such a subtle difference, but an important one nonetheless. Also don’t think either of them realise but they’re already besties at this point.

Choi Han is such a delight

Here’s the thing, Cale was already pissed at Venion before they even met and now he’s made him even angrier. i don’t think anyone can help him now. Like he was already beyond help but, now, it’s not just I’m going to punish you for what you did to Raon. It’s I’m going to do that and I’ll enjoy every second of tearing you apart and watching you be clueless I’m responsible until it’s too late. God I love that version of KRS Cale. Kinda want a dark Cale fic now. Not necessarily a villain but also kinda. Same Cale, just wants his people safe, but if anyone regardless of the side their on messes with his people they get the same treatment as his enemies, whether they’re a hero, villain, neutral. And where he enjoys bringing them down as well. Idk the idea of dark KRS Cale is so interesting to me. And slowly the characters around him become just as dark. Like he simply can’t lose anyone else so if anyone poses even the slightest threat to his people, they’re very quickly dealt with. Anyway not important

[weightedblankettt]

nicovid works well platonically but i really like it romantically. taking someone who’s desperate to survive (nico) and pairing them with someone who views his own life as worthless (david) is already an interesting dynamic, but when its paired up with their actual personalities it just adds a layer of bittersweetness to it. nico, someone who’s been tormented their entire life, and david, who’s basked in the attention of everyone around him for years. nico, who was bullied for being themselves, and david, who was praised for being someone else. nico, who’s shy, david, who’s outgoing at first but slowly devolves into someone cynical. i do like their dynamic pre-freakout, its very cute and could lead to nico breaking out of their shell, i find their post-freakout dynamic much more interesting. nico and david both have a common denominator: they did something bad and will most likely be ostracized because of it. seeing as they both know how it feels to be set aside as the odd one out (nico through their bullying, david through never feeling as if his true feelings are enough for others) and they both have similar character relationships. (disdain towards ace, fallen-through friendship with hu). i feel like given david’s clear self-esteem issues, nico’s blunt manner of speech won’t be seen as insulting by david, and that lets them learn how to speak their mind. i see their dynamic as someone who wraps himself in a lie, and one of the only people that can see through him. even during the trial, nico’s one of the three people out of the cast of 13 students attending the second trial that notices david’s bullshitting about killing arei, alongside the protag and the support. idk if this is plot armoring my favs or whatever but i do think that nico can read people well, similarly to the animals they work with (considering their occupation: pet *therapy*) and david’s tendency to lie might not really fool them. they can both depend on each other when they need to, but they also do have their own problems and stuff. their development in canon chapter 3 could be interesting if they do end up talking to each other, especially if nico does end up becoming a chapter three victim. another thing that really intrigues me about them is how they’ve both committed an irredeemable action. david’s trying to get them all killed by pretending to have killed arei after all, and nico tried to kill ace. they’re both one of the “bad people” of the second chapter, and i can heavily emphasize (empathy =/= sympathy by the way.) despite their contrasting personalities and themes. it emphasizes how anyone is capable of doing bad, even someone seemingly kind and timid or someone seemingly well-intentioned. nico really has no room to speak on david’s shortcomings and vice versa, and i doubt that either of them want to. they provide each other with a safe space that neither of them really deserve, but it’s still comfortable to have and they enjoy it. david, although his nihilistic tendencies are on display, probably still can’t help but accommodate for nico if they ever started dating or going out. maybe not immediately after— he’d probably still be cruel, but nico wouldn’t really mind. they both let each other say what they’re thinking freely, without caring much for their words, but one thing leads to another and they cant help but fall in love. they both accommodate for each other. nico tries to help david with his honesty and his feelings, because they can’t control their own feelings OR how honest they are (even if its insulting,) and david takes care of nico when they can’t take care of themselves. gaah i lovw them.

this sounds insane? thats because it is. i dint know what the fuck im takjing about but they make me happy and sad. their entire dynamic can be described as one thing: bittersweet

[dykephan]

hi, totally agree with you about the december getting together thing and just wanted to add on to a few points. One about online perceptions and stuff is they mightve both wanted to have this appearance of a cool, sexy, mysterious, emo guy on the internet who is "mature" and has casual sex all the time nbd lol and not wanting to seem clingy. Its kind of embarrasing to want more sometimes (its cheesy, its meant to be). For Dan I also dont think he would want Phil to see him as an obsessed fan (also the age thing) so putting up a nonchalant front would help put them on more even footing. For Phil its just like you already said mainly and not wanting to scare Dan off, following Dan's lead. Also Dan just getting out of a longterm relationship and being 18 he might not have been inclined to tie himself down quick when he was single for the first time in a bit, especially to someone who lives far away, but then obv realized this thing with Phil wasnt just going to be some casual fling. Also lol this "reveal" was not weird/ suprising to me bcos of my own experience of being with this girl for like 3 ish months had been friends previously we were having sex and saying we loved eachother etc but whole time being like we're not dating though lol

oh 100% agree, especially when you're at that age it's sooo embarrassing to admit you do want to find someone who cares about you and enriches your life and shares a future with you... it's so much easier to flirt with strangers online and pretend you're too cool to feel any particular way about it. like you said, i think it comes down to both of them realizing that this was not going to be some casual fling. and 2 months is honestly no time at all considering how much they had to think about & plan for!!

also yeah i agree it wasn't surprising to me it was more just like. first of all like holy shit why are you sharing this information with me unprompted are you sure you meant to say that?? second of all, i guess i didn't KNOW until i KNEW. it's one thing to look at the things they posted around that time period and make guesses, but hearing it out loud made me feel sooooo dumbfounded. idk why but that one hit me way harder than the tour bus thing...

anyway let me share a personal anecdote here because it's only fair after i've invaded their privacy i should embarrass myself a little fksjfks many years ago i started talking to a tumblr mutual and we got super close as friends, we spent literally hours talking every night and we'd even fall asleep on skype just to be with each other. i told her things i have still never told anyone else in my life. and ofc there was heavyy flirting which was fun except i have horrible commitment issues.. doing all this online didn't feel as scary and real to me. but then we made plans to actually travel and meet up, and i started getting. idk. itchy 😭 but i did go across the country to meet her and it was such a perfect weekend, she was so funny and beautiful and even more magnetic in person. it clarified my feelings about her in a way that chatting online never could, but also it scared the shit out of me and so when that weekend was over i went back home and i told her i couldn't do it anymore and that was it. we tried to be friends after that but it just wasn't the same and neither of us had our hearts in it. i still think about her and hope she's doing well but we haven't talked in years

so basically i'm living in the dark dan and phil timeline where they filmed pinof and then said okay bye dude 👍🏻 fuck my stupid baka life

[thepeachyouhadtopick]

Hi! I thought the parts in your fic where Johnny and Ell were sneaking around and dating in secret was so cute. I noticed you take requests and I wanted to ask if you'd write a headcanon about them sneaking? I know you're past it in your fic now but I just feel hungry for more because it was so adorable LOL! TIA

i'm sorry this took me so long to publish! i just wanted to be sure it was right before i posted it i hope it's ok!!

johnny and ell dating in secret headcanon

blowing kisses to each other across the set when nobody’s looking

texting each other dirty messages during work or in the van

hugging each other for just a moment longer in the morning and at night

and like before they dated it would just be a friendly arms thrown round each other, a pat on the back or whatever

but now they’re dating Ell hugs him with her arms around his waist and Johnny with his arms like under her armpits idk I hope that makes sense?? just so they can hold each other extra close

and honestly it amazes them that nobody notices that they hug tighter and for longer

notes under the motel doors even though they can text each other

and they both keep each note obviously but neither of them tell the other that they’ve been keeping them

holding hands under the table at dinner whenever they get the chance

and accidentally falling asleep on each other in the van

but sometimes not even falling asleep just allowing themselves to enjoy the contact for a minute

steve-o and stephanie always giving them the heads up in case anyone is about to catch them being all mushy together

but at the same time also making steve and steph wanna puke with how sickly sweet they are during the time they actually get to spend together

sharing food on set omg

like if Johnny’s eating a nice snack he offers Ell some just so they can have another interaction (i feel like he would’ve done this before he knew she liked him too???)

yanking each other behind a wall or a van just to steal a kiss

and giggling about it

his lil nervous hands whenever they talked on set normally (ofc he was like this before they got together too because she made him flustered without even trying)

like in the first few weeks he would just stumble over his words n be extra considerate of everything he said and did

Ell would wanna make sure she looked good for him at first, but not like she made too much effort

she would just consider her outfits a little more each morning

and maybe remember to wash her hair a little more often

eventually she realises that PJ couldn’t give a fuck how she dressed because he was down so bad for her

Rick or Dimitry or someone else took a casual / off-guard behind-the-scenes photo of them together just hanging out or waiting around to shoot and they’re desperate to see it because it’s their first couple picture together

like they’re literally just stood next to each other but they need to see it

if they were all out at a bar and everyone was drunk Johnny would take the opportunity to leave lingering touches on the small of Ell’s back as they walked through the crowded room because everyone was less likely to notice

and he would always offer to get her a drink from the bar

or a snack from the shop if they stopped somewhere during travelling

OH and if he injured himself during a stunt every so often he’d ask if Ell had any more bandages in her bag (the ones she usually brought along for Steve-O) just so he could enjoy the feeling of Ell taking care of him and they could share a quiet moment together, holding their gazes and smiling as Ell cleaned him up so carefully even though there was a medic on site

quiet and slow make out sessions when Ell got to sneak into Johnny’s motel room

lottttttts of touching because they’ve both spent an entire day entirely touch-starved for each other

the thrill of getting caught encouraging them a little too much

Johnny gently playing with Ell’s clit and/or fingering her with his free hand covering her mouth to muffle any sounds she might make

both of them giggling at the sound of Ell’s muffled whines

similarly Johnny would totally be biting down on his hand so he didn’t moan when Ell gave him head

Johnny would always be wearing his Aviators so he could just stare at Ell without anyone noticing

he’d get a little jealous of the other guys flirting with Ell but he trusted her and he knew that they wouldn’t do it if they knew about their relationship

tbh he loved seeing her get along with the other guys so well and acting dumb with them all

occasionally a pet name will slip through like ‘doll’ or ‘sweetheart’/‘sweetie’ and Johnny just tries to style it out which Ell finds very cute

when he’s alone in his hotel room every so often secretly he’ll listen to Ell’s music or watch her music videos or read interviews with her on his laptop just bc he misses her face or her voice and wants to know more about her even though she’s literally in the room next door

like he’s secretly a massive fan of her music ever since they first met

they’re always talking about music in general or their favourite movies or books

like it’s clear to everyone that they have a lot of common interests but nobody really thinks anything of it because they both let the others join in their conversations too

it PAINS them both to be sneaking around because they both just wanna show off how they feel about each other

so it’s actually a blessing in disguise when they finally get caught out by everyone

honestly it amazes them both that nobody clocked anything before steve-o accidentally let it slip

and ofc they are so happy that everyone approves of them

link to the fic if any of you haven't read it before!

[stevie-petey]

hi queen. read at arm's length. wow. like wow. like whoahhh. like whoopsy that sure was a doozy!! This was, not a tough read exactly, but certainly a sad one. i thought about it on a walk with my sister, i think she's around the age of steve and reader, like, late high school, and, idk, it's weird to think that people her age experience heartbreak. she's a baby to me. made worse by the fact that i don't remember my own high school very much. so this was sort of weird to read too, in that sense, knowing how contradictorily young and old they are at 16/17.

i liked all the repeated phrases, "nobody knows/you know/steve doesn't know how __" "we shouldn't be doing this" "i know", it was reminiscent of the sort of cycle that these relationships beget, how much you tell yourself you won't let this person in your house again, won't talk to them again, won't let them butter you up again, but you usually do, again and again until something disturbs the pattern you've fallen into, or you yourself are finally able to escape it.

I don't wan tto quote your whole story back at you, but i think this line really exemplified the horrible ickyness between them, "He had always somehow done this, holding you at arm’s length with a possessiveness to it. You would come to learn that the possessiveness never really goes away". I think val said it in her reblog, but there's a real unfairness/unequality in their situation, with steve never fully acknowledging her, nor letting anyone else get close to her. I always hate that in fiction, when the person who isn't with the girl, outright refuses to be with the girl, has problems about who she does and doesn't hang out with, and just is overall very annoying about what he perceives as his right to the girl, entitlement, whatever you want to call it. It's always to a discredit of the girl, always some form of objectification, and omg, even the scene in the beginning where steve wants to form her expression into one of anger to soothe his own guilty conscious.....idk of its his conscious talking, but it also feels like an extension of him not being able to see her as a full person, or at least, disturbed by the notion that she is a full person.

This part saddened me a lot, "Your name hadn’t left his lips in months; it felt like exhaling after breaking an oath.". A lot of it felt very weighted, which it was, but ot also felt like the first time steve considered that she was capable of having other people around her. I think the worst part in these situations is that the other person DOES have people who care for them, who see the, who care for them probably a lot more/better than the one they're "with" (Jamie seemed nice), it's just that their attention doesn't feel as good as this person's, or at least, that person's attention is becoming a bit addicting (?) idk if that's the right word, but very all consuming, to the extent that when you have it it feels like you have the world and when you don't it's like nothing's really right, even if you know, which r does, the extent of unhealthiness this dynamic causes, and even if you don't you might have a feeling of how temporary this dynamic is, even if you stay wanting and a little naive at the end of it, just to keep it going a little longer. I hope I'm not projecting myself too much here, though i don't think death of the author is totally discounted in fanfiction reading experience, so i could be wrong ( i jest!) !

The ending question got to me, "“You’re always here....Why?'". I think it succintly put together the problem, that r shouldn't be here for him after the way he has ignored her, yet not allowed her to fully thrive without him either. Steve making this discovery so late in the game makes sense, to me at least, that he would delay acknowledging feelings, delay seeing what exactly is happening, when it means he can keep r to himself a bit longer, at least subconciously. It seemed to really rattle him when r's admiration and wonderment of him post nancy had dimmed. One of them was going to quit this cycle, and i am sort of curious to see what you'd want to write if you do a part 2, partly since it's ended in an emotional build instead of a release, and partly because the end for them seems spelled out in the near future.

On a final note, i think r's knowledge, or foresight, makes this all a little more tragic. I've read and have been the person who is a little too eager to delude themselves into thinking something could work out, that they haven't been left in the lurch, that they weren't a means to an end to something else, whether that be friendship, sex, affection, an ego boost, whatever the goal is, and it's always a little humiliating, certainly horrifying, to realise it fully after the fact. I think to now all of this at the forefront, is somehow both worse and better?? There's a certain tendency to want to scream "GET UP SISTER!!!", but i also get why you would commit yourself to this knowing what the consequences are, knowing you're getting dealt a really shitty hand and still playing the game, just to sort of see what happens, because it's better than not playing it at all. Idk, i think its interesting that this was not all poor impulse control (perhaps a little bit), but a real decision r and steve made. i think it gives r an agency of her life and circumstances that i sometimes find lacking, both in fiction and reality, a sense of control that is small and fleeting and not being used well, but a control over a situation that is otherwise, very unstable. I am afraid that at this point i am ranting and raving like a mad man, and perhaps repeating myself, but this was a great fic, apologies for the length, i feel like i need to re read old text messages, and i also apologise if i projected too much and perhaps strayed from your vision too far, but you wrote a very compelling short fiction that contains a lot of unresolved emotion which was very interesting to think about and interpret, both on a literary and personal level. i'm sorry to val as well, this was definitely over 5 sentences babe, though i appreciate your confidence in me.

sanjana you always know what to pick apart in my writing and i adore you for it <3333 i love hearing what you think about what i write and i eat it up EVERY. TIME.

you basically got it all tbh. i will however add a small tidbit of steve (in my head at least) being this sickly toxic person because hes always just kinda had the reader, ya know ? since they were 11 they were best friends (to the capacity steve could have a friend) and she was always so devoted to him. when he finally breaks what was between them by getting with nancy, he truly is jarred to see that reader no longer holds this love within her eyes for him :( he never, ever considered her ever leaving him

if i do somehow make a part 2 i think i know how to bring em together again, but i also just really enjoy the idea of reader having her own agency making these decisions to let steve back in, to be used by him and give him whatever, its just what shes choosing. the line "youre always here" hits that perfectly. shes always there for steve even though she knows, and HE knows, she shouldnt be

its awful and twisted and i plan on doing future fics like this after come home (for a frat!steve au and also a normal people au for peter parker)

again i love u sm <3333

[brionysea]

https://www.tumblr.com/foodiewithdahoodie/716996704083361792 this post is more about familial mlvn parallels but it made me think of the max/Mike curse parallels, esp considering that what’s happening to Max after the fact is a vision and I’m like….kind of connecting that to what happened around Mike in season 4 being a manifestation but I Can’t Articulate it. Anywho yeah thought u would enjoy

UMMMM HELLO???? I AM LOOKING DIRECTLY AT IT (x)

i was thinking about what a pre-season 4 mike's vecna visions would look like recently, and that scene with el would literally fit right in. his girlfriend who he cares for but Not Like That trying to pry an answer out of him about why he can't say he loves her? getting defensive and making her cry? having to go against the friends don't lie rule to protect himself? like. i am... hhhh no thoughts just chaos. all you'd have to do is tweak it a bit so that el Inexplicably Knows Everything and hates him for it, being representative of his own negative thoughts towards himself, and it would fit right in with the canon visions from season 4 (mike mouthing off included, because let's be real, he'd do that to vecna's face too). leaving it to play out the way it did plays more into the advantage of a subtle slow burn so that he can't figure out anything's going on too soon, which, if you're going to mess with mike wheeler's head, you need because he's just too smart

california was kind of a nightmare scenario for mike before anything even went "wrong". he had to pretend to be someone he's not, somehow try to be normal with both el and will in the same place, and then el gets hurt and it's kind of his fault ("if you say so" before the music gets turned off and el gets knocked down, which still makes me lose my MIND), then the fight with will, and el schmacking a bully after the boys were unable to track her down fast enough to prevent that and all the drama afterwards... dude's not having a good time. he had no power there, which is the fastest way to get to him, as seen by his rambling about how useless he is and the clear impact that sense of powerlessness (very ironic) has on his mental state. and i'm staring so hard at how weird everything at rinkomania (rink of madness) was, and how disconnected our three characters' perspectives seem to be from each other, and how mike looked confused by will's version (aka our version) of events but was too busy trying to run away from that confrontation of having to vocalise his own feelings to even clarify what he was confused by or what his version of events looked like, which brings what they're both experiencing into question (mike not even looking in will's direction when he rolled his eyes but somehow seeing it anyway — what else aren't they showing us about mike's version by hiding behind will's?). there are those behind the scene photos floating around of noah schnapp at rinkomania in will's desert outfit. idk, i don't trust that place at all

when it comes to season 4 being a manifestation, it's like... this is just my interpretation, but it's pretty clear to me that the curse would be mike's excuse to literally face his demons. it was the Main Event. even when he was shipped away from hawkins and separated from that plot device, he was still trying to sort everything out in his head, which would've ironically been much easier for him to do if he was in a situation like max's — he gives me "only i'm allowed to hate myself, if anyone else does it i'm throwing hands" vibes. but mike still had some influence over things going on in lenora (like the aforementioned "if you say so" demonstrated by angela just ceasing to matter at all after mike called her a nobody) and in the general... area, idk american geography, like suzie's house and the pen with the coordinates and wherever the nina bunker was. i haven't thought about how argyle and the pizza chain plays into this but they might be manifested too (something about the restaurant expanding into nevada and how impressively wide mike's range is —there's no way that russian prison's real — and argyle as like the one person in season 4 just telling someone to "not lie"). el says "i'm real" at the very end of the season when she's with max, which makes me question if she went from "not real" to "real" during her season 4 side plot instead of in season 3. it would make sense since she really starts heading into her independence era once she leaves brenner behind and most likely after the end of season drama with mike, and max and dustin's similar journeys from an Idea of independence (while still circling mike/the party) to Acting on that independence (dustin getting his own side plot after breaking away from the party and max talking about free will while going against mike's wishes) seem to span 2 seasons as well

it's fascinating to me that even with mike as the lynchpin to all this, the main event doesn't follow him. it stays in hawkins. it's not even like the curse is a thing, and the curse also follows mike. it leaves him alone, even with the symptoms that did follow him. it (supposedly) never goes past a nosebleed at dinner and a headache at suzie's house. is that because he's made a mental connection between all his inner angst and his hometown (the smalltown boy agenda), or is it just a result of trying to sideline himself because he thinks he's unimportant? is it because there's no point in opening a gate with his death if he's all the way across the country? wouldn't that be better for vecna's plans of remaking the world? is he just not as willing to put the byers (including el) at risk as he is the hawkins NPCs? or was he actually losing his mind all season and we just didn't know because his perspective was cut off from us?

[cosmosayz]

ii au rambling ??

I dont have much art to offer lately beyond the stuff i mass dumped on here bc im burnt out when it comes to drawing but i do have plenty of aus im writing stuff for over on ao3 & i havent written much for this one but i wanna yap abt my animal office au bc its silly.

so like theyre furries right. Its a lot of fun thinking abt what animal each character would be n such & even tho not a lot of the cast r important w/ this story bc its mephone4 & mephoj centered i still give it a good amount of thought bc its also just silly to make characters into animals.

fav thing is turning mephone into a racoon bc i cant see him as anything else [other than possibly a badger, but racoon just makes perfect sense to me considering he's. him] & 4s is just. a cat. theyre brothers in this au still, just different animal species [theyre still robots / androids created by cobs, who's a wolf. listen, it makes so much sense to me i have such a clear vision even if something else would probably fit him better i think it works so well for him].

Its just so fun researching animal stuff too & learning behavior stuff to keep track of for each animal & how that would influence how each character were to act in the scenarios ill be putting them in, in this fic once i get around to writing it. [ill be working on it full time once im done w/ my current fic & brainrot au; the neighbor next door (very creatively labled the neighbor au super groundbreaking i know)]

but anyways idk i wanna post on here more & rambles seem like theyd be a good outlet for that even if ppl dont rlly care much. its just fun.

[also for anyone who's read this far & doesn't know me my ao3 is Cosmo_Writes, & if you're interested in MePhone centered writing / or the ship mephoj then my works might be worth checking out bc thats like 90% of what i like to write :]

[outrunningthedark]

i've been following u for years now and i love ur blog! but i wonder if u feel like ur getting less enjoyment out of 911? i ask bcuz i feel like the posts and asks i see from u about the show seem overwhelmingly negative, and i just wonder if maybe...u haven't noticed? which sounds dumb but i've definitely gotten into the "habit" of being a fan of something and not realizing until way after the fact that i'm not actually a fan anymore? i'm sorry if this seems presumptuous!!

Reasons why my posts are probably coming off as negative (which is not the first time I've heard this, lol): - I choose to respond to "negativity" rather than delete it because the opinion is usually coming from a place of confusion or frustration, not just trolling for attention. I like to let people know that their feelings are understandable even if not everyone agrees (ie the 'baiting' discussion - is it textbook qbait? nope. but they're also not doing anything to halt the speculation) And tbh, someone else's interpretation has no impact on my own feelings or my experience with the fandom. Negativity that isn't related to real life (excusing ableism, for instance) isn't thought about beyond the few asks I may get in a day when there's more difficult things going on as soon as I sign off. If someone not liking my favorite show was the catalyst for a bad mood...I'd consider my day pretty successful up to that point, lol. - I ship Buddie and want to see the Buckley-Diaz fam be a real thing because of Christopher. I'm not one of the fans who say "ngl idc about Buddie, I just want my fave to be gay" - that's cool, do you, but I want the chemistry and the story more than the "representation". Limited or no Buddie means my interest in the show will take a hit. - My favorite individual character is Chimney. The one that was written out for most of 5A without explanation. I started thinking differently about the show back then, and how he's been handled upon returning has not changed my opinion of the show runners re: undervaluing his presence. - How the show writes Maddie pisses me off because (as an anon talked about the other day) she's *still* disconnected from nearly everyone. It doesn't bother me if "all she does is cry" because I get that Jennifer has a knack for it, but I *do* understand how some could find it tiresome to see her emotional so often. Give her something funny! Let her have a one-on-one convo with a friend where she gets to relax! Make people have a reaction other than "Ugh, not this again" because, I'm sorry, not EVERYONE is gonna love your fave character upon first meeting them or connect to their story. You have to give them a reason to care, especially as the seasons go on. Show a different side, something else someone might be able to relate to! - Idk how anyone can get (genuinely) excited for future episodes of this show when there is a clear divide between how the fandom feels about certain characters and their arcs vs. how the people actually making the decisions approach the situation. Yes, being in a fandom will result in "taking things too seriously" because some people make their fave piece of media their entire personality, but having a show runner be like "lol, we have this running joke about Buck's abandonment issues" or admitting that she struggles to fill in gaps in the story is not going to make the fandom - the people taking the time to read these comments and react on social media - feel like she gives a shit about any of this.

[rayofsunshinc]

Rate your muse's traits 0-10! Repost and rate your muse's traits, then tag your followers.

Daryl Dixon

Compassion: 8/10. Way more often than not.

Bitterness: 6/10. I would say for a long time, Daryl had difficulty letting go of the bad things that happened to him. Oddly, it seems like the worse things get, the less bitter he really is.

Happiness: 5/10. He can't catch a break ISTG

Politeness: 3/10. He's not exactly rude, and definitely isn't on purpose, but he just doesn't understand why people tiptoe around things. And manners are mostly out the window due to the way he was brought up.

Chivalry: 8/10.

Pride: 5/10. I had the hardest time rating this one. I don't think that he thinks much about how far he's come, nor do I think that he has a big ego. If I gave it a 5, it's based entirely on the fact that he wasn't willing to call himself Negan, no matter how badly he was tortured and treated when he was prisoner with The Saviors.

Honesty: 9/10. Daryl might try to spare your feelings, but ... that's about it lol

Bravery: 10/10.

Recklessness: 8/10. He is usually wilding out, but has been known to call for peace sometimes.

Ambition: 5/10. Idk. I feel like if he wants to get something done, he gets it done. He doesn't really think about what he wants, he just does shit to get by.

Loyalty: 10/10.

Love: 4/10. Woof.. I mean, as far as romantic love goes anyway. It's not that he couldn't be ranked higher, he just hasn't gotten much of a chance to be. I'm giving him some extra points because I think he has potential.

Sense of family: 7/10. Earlier in his life, this was obviously way lower. He's always had Merle though, and that's where his big sense of loyalty stems from. Merle was blood, but he was also always there for Daryl (in his own way) and Daryl felt like he owed Merle for that. I think Merle really both helped Daryl feel a sense of family and pushed him from wanting to feel that with other people (abusive... manipulative.. but that's another post). It makes me literally want to cry thinking about when Merle was like "Ain't nobody ever gonna care about you except me." because CLEARLY everyone cares about Daryl and he has so much family by the end of the TWD. Daryl considers the group his family. He's referred to Rick as his brother on multiple occasions and I mean, he's practically raising Judith and RJ for awhile. He had fatherly vibes with Lydia. He and Carol are OBVIOUSLY family. I think that when he told her he loved her that was one of like the only times he's ever said that in his life?? Even though he has so much family and love, I do think he has a hard time accepting and believing it.

Attractiveness: 10/10. This is a totally biased rating.

Agility: 10/10. He's done a lot of insane shit that only proves this is true lol

Sex drive: 2/10. I truly don't think it's something that he worries about whatsoever. I gave a 2 just because a 1 seemed unbelievable.

Tagged by @fcllederage Tagging: @ripkaspbrak (or any muse you're feeling of course!), @fxntasmagoria, @multivcrsity, @painofhumanity, @witchoflegends, any muses ya'll want to expand on - and also anyone else who sees this