#i might add more later if i realize more
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Shapes and Strange Ciphers AU: Need a hand? Pt. 1
SaSC by me
Shapes and Pines by @/void-dude
Next Part
Bill and Ford
While exploring one of Gravity Falls’ caves, Bill stumbled upon a wall covered in ancient text. Bill recorded his findings and translated the writing to reveal an incantation to summon an oval-shaped entity. Bill hesitated to try the summoning but felt he couldn't miss the opportunity to push past his plateau and continue his research. So he read the incantation aloud.
Later that day, Bill experienced an extraordinary dream. While floating through an infinite cosmos filled with books and scrolls, Bill was greeted by the creature pictured on the cave walls. A yellow, oval-shaped being with one eye and glasses at its center–part of its form appeared chipped away. The entity, underwhelmingly named Stanford, told Bill that he was there to help expand his research by acting as a ‘mentor’.
-
Bill, though wary in the beginning, grew to trust his new friend. Ford shared his knowledge of Bill's world and the oddities that resided in it–though never enough to satisfy the man. He would always leave Bill with a tease of new information, promising to teach him more later on. Like a fishing lure, Ford would use his extensive knowledge to reel Bill in and keep him close.
Ford also fed into Bill's narcissism, telling him that he was special and different from those who had summoned Ford in the past. This gave Bill the love and attention he so desperately craved, inflating his ego just enough to keep him happy and obedient. Before long, Bill was completely wrapped around Ford's finger, hanging on his mentor's every word, utterly infatuated. Ford believed Bill was ready for the next phase of his plan, but he had to be sure.
To test Bill’s commitment, Ford asked Bill to remove his lazy eye, reasoning that it was only holding him back and that doing so would prove Bill was serious about expanding his knowledge. Bill's lazy eye–something he was teased for while growing up, but also something that he and Tad had bonded over–was an innate part of his identity. But Bill didn't hesitate.
-
A few months later, Ford revealed that it was nearly time for him to leave, explaining to Bill that he didn't have anything else to teach him, and soon there would be no point in staying. Bill was caught off guard and desperate to keep his Mentor close. He frantically searched for an excuse to have Ford stay, telling him that he still has so much more to learn, not just about his world, but about Ford’s too. Bill’s desperation grew, overtaking his mind in hopeless pleas. Don’t leave me. Please. Please don’t leave me alone. Not again.
Seeing Bill's anguish over his leaving, Ford relented before offering a solution. He explained that it wouldn’t matter if he talked about the makings of his world because Bill couldn’t experience it for himself–unless he could. Ford admitted to knowing a way for Bill to explore not just Ford’s world, but countless others, hinting that he could also continue as Bill’s mentor–if Bill was fully prepared to expand his research. Bill jumped at the opportunity, swearing that he was ready. Ford revealed his plan: Bill needed to create a portal that would open a gateway to other worlds, allowing him to explore beyond the limits of his dimension.
Bill was eager to create the portal, especially since he could work on calculations with Ford. However, they still needed to gather materials and build the machine. After realizing that it would take far too long to do on his own, Bill called his old college friends–some lent him supplies, while others traveled to Gravity Falls to help him build. But Ford was not happy. He chose Bill to do the work, not his bumbling group of ‘friends’ with their useless degrees. What infuriated him the most wasn’t that Bill had gone over his head, but that he was right–things were progressing much faster with their help. But this didn’t matter to Ford. He already knew the sting of trusting the wrong person, so he wanted them gone.
Ford couldn’t outright tell Bill to kick his friend out, so he restored to planting subtle doubts in Bill's mind, suggesting that his friends might sabotage their work. Bill, initially confused, tried to reassure Ford that there was nothing to worry about. However, Ford persisted, slowly dripping poison into Bill’s mind. Slowly, Bill began to believe him. He started double-checking his friends’ work, scrutinizing the materials they brought, and analyzing their actions. Ford's words gnawed at Bill until he was on the brink of sending away his friends. It was only after Ford confided in Bill, sharing how trusting the wrong person had cost him everything, that Bill was fully convinced.
One by one, Bill began dismissing his friends with various excuses, though it was clear that he simply didn't want them around anymore. Over time, they watched Bill twist into someone they barely recognized–cold and distant, treating them less like friends and more like subordinates. Some tried convincing Bill to let them stay, but he wouldn't budge. He told them they were no longer needed and that he couldn’t risk their shoddy work jeopardizing his project. In the end, Bill all but called them stupid before severing ties and destroying his friendships.
However, one friend, Jheselbraum, stayed behind. She sensed something was off and wanted to keep an eye on Bill, making sure he was safe. Jheselbraum would stop by Bill's home to check on him and hang out, and while he enjoyed her visits, Ford would always convince him to send her away. Eventually, Bill banned her from coming over, insisting he needed to focus on finishing his project and couldn’t afford any distractions. But Jheselbraum persisted, calling daily to check on Bill until she finally convinced him to let her at least drop off food.
Every time she visited, Bill was either locked away in the basement or gone from the house entirely. On the rare occasions she saw him, Jheselbraum noticed how worn down he looked–becoming more decrepit with each passing day. She tried talking to him, but he either ignored her or brushed her off, insisting he was fine and too busy with his project to worry about his appearance. The more she tried reaching out to help him, the further away he felt, like an ever-widening chasm. She could scream and still, he wouldn’t hear her, her voice swallowed by the void between them. Even when standing in the same room, Jheselbraum couldn’t help but feel they were miles apart, and it frustrated her.
It wasn’t long before Jheselbraum reached her breaking point. One day, she noticed a trail of blood leading to the basement and found Bill crumpled on the floor. She managed to get him out of the basement and into her car, wanting to take him to the hospital. But during the drive, Bill woke up and demanded she take him back home. He insisted he was fine and that a hospital visit would only waste more of his time. Jheselbraum tried reasoning with him but Bill rolled his eyes and muttered, “I knew you’d get in the way.”
Jheselbraum went silent, and her grip tightened on the steering wheel. She turned the car around, helped Bill back into his house, and placed him in a chair. She patched up his wound in continued silence. When she finished, she stood up, looked Bill in the eye, and told him that she was done. She wouldn’t be dropping off food or visiting anymore. She was through with him. However, Jheselbraum couldn’t bring herself to leave Gravity Falls completely. She was angry, but a feeling in her gut wouldn’t allow her to leave. Something was wrong. Though she couldn’t pinpoint what, she knew she had to stay–lingering around places she thought Bill might go, hoping to catch a glimpse of him. Her actions more akin to monitoring a suspicious than simply looking out for old friend.
-
Now that Bill was alone, Ford concentrated his manipulation into pushing Bill further into isolation. He used Jheselbraum's leaving as proof that Bill couldn’t trust anyone–except for Ford. Yet, Bill began second guessing himself, more importantly, Bill geban second guessing Ford.
Bill tried his best to remain focused on building the portal, but doubt gnawed at the edges of his mind, festering until he couldn’t ignore it any longer. What exactly was Ford planning to do with the portal? Bill hated the thought–hated that he was question his mentor–but he couldn’t help it.
As soon as this doubt bubbled to the surface of Bills mind, Ford new instantly. Ford attempted to reassure bill, emphasizing that the portal was more beneficial for him than it was for Ford, stressing that his only concern was Bills success. However, this reassurance didn’t fully take hold, and Ford knew it.
Bill continued to build the portal, doubt still lingering in his mind. He didn't want to believe that his mentor had ulterior motives. Desperately, he clung to their friendship like a life raft in a vast, empty sea–though one of his own making. He wanted to believe Ford, to trust that their partnership was genuine. But as time passed, his doubts only deepened, and he bagan to long for his old friends.
Before Bill could act on his feelings, Ford intervened with further manipulation, choosing to have a ‘heart-to-heart’. He reminded Bill of their previous conversation about how trusting the wrong person had cost Ford everything. This time, he revealed that it was his brother who he had misplaced his trust in, leading to the loss of his family and his dimension–everything. Ford claimed that his journey for knowledge was meant to help others, serving as a way to overcome his past.
Ford also admitted that he had lied to Bill in the past, but not out of malice. He confessed that he was ashamed of his limited understanding of Bill’s dimension. Having always prided himself on his vast wealth of knowledge, Ford felt inadequate and uncertain about to teaching Bill. He explained that he feared Bill would take advantage of his naivety–just like his brother had. However, over the course of their partnership, Ford had come to genuinely trust Bill and was happy to call him a true friend.
Moved by Ford’s supposed vulnerability, Bill apologized to for doubting him, realizing that he had been wrong. Ford’s manipulation had work. Sensing the shift in Bills mind, Ford seized the moment to reveal a new ability: the power to control someone's body through their mind. He asked if he could try it on Bill. More trusting of his mentor than ever before, Bill admently agreed.
-
Weeks passed, Bill and Ford settled into a routine. When Bill was awake, he worked on the portal. But when he was asleep, Ford took control of his body and did the work to keep Bill alive–ensuring he ate, drank, and rested. Of course, Ford would also work on little side projects. Using the schematics of a former interdimensional follower, he created a tool that could erase memories, hiding it from Bill. Ford knew it was only a matter of time before one of Bill's pests would try to interfere, and he wanted to be prepared. It didn’t take long before he was proven right.
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Lore Comment
#gravity falls#bill cipher#stanford pines#shapes and pines au#tad strange#stanley pines#sascau#writing#4/8 posts#sorry it took so long#I realized that posting the entire thing would be too long#plus it would take me longer to finish#so here's a part 1 leaving on a cliff hanger#ill try to get part 2 out a quick as possible I swear!#there is only 1 lore comment but part 2 will have a big one about Jheselbraum#plus a small one about Bill#I might add a little more to Fiddleford later#Anywho thanks for taking the time to read the mess#have a great day or night!
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*pops up from the void with a thought*
I know I've mentioned once or twice about headcanoning Reginald and Right as foils to Ellie and Charles, but I figure I would post about their similarities to each other.
Reginald and Ellie's big thing they share are loyalty and betrayal, if Henry does right by them then he has a friend in them (TK, T4L possibly TR for Reg and CG, TR/PP and TT for Ellie), but if he doesn't then they will make Henry pay. (Betrayed/Revenged for Reginald, TCW and possibly even CEO for Ellie)
They also both share having a fake out betrayal scene. (Ellie in CA and Reg in TK)
Also slightly smaller but they both have had Henry do a pose that they do in the TR end card. (TK has Henry doing Reg's pose, TT has Henry doing the Ellie pose)
Charles and Right first obvious big thing is their impulsiveness, action first and think about the consequences when they get to it. (VH is a big one for Charles as FM is for Right)
And as allies Charles and Right both trust Henry to rescue them if needed and both work together even if it ends in a fail. (Charles in SPO and Right in TK)
Also adding on that Charles and Right are fiercely loyal to their respective teams. (Puff mentioned in one of the livestreams when talking about the so called beta stuff that Charles would never betray the Government and Right's loyalty to the Toppats have been mentioned and shown multiple times)
And while smaller, Reginald and Charles share the fact that they both fly, have given Henry their number in some timeline that he remembers and they directly refer to Henry as a friend atleast once.
#mod lizzy rambles#might add on to this later as i am sleepy#but those are the basic gist of it#also realizing that sven and dave could be foils as they both like to talk are ignored and dont have the best of luck#*rolls off to bed*#thsc#im sure there is still more especially with right and ellie but my brain is functioning on sleepy right now so yeah#maybe a stretch of the pose thing but reg and ellie has henry do their similar poses on his more eviler routes of JB and TCW
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NEWSFLASH- He thinks you’re pretty~
#WAHHHH I made him so much softer then he usually is and IM LOVING IT#I added freckles cause my boy is a big chonky ginger#brb im bout to hold his face and give him forehead kisses like no other#IM TRYING TO HUSBAND THIS MAN UP#oh and he looks completely different then my other two artworks#i realize that and its okay my hands are stupid#i also drew those other illustrations like last year/early this year#SOOOOO its been awhile and I’ve grown and changed and now hes prettier#MIGHT ADD MORE TO THIS PIECE LATER#BUT HERES THE START OF BEAUTY RN#eustasscaptainkid#eustass kid#one piece#digital art#digital illustration#do tags even work??#IDK but imma use em
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Things I’m excited to see in s5
- Azure Lion finding out who was pulling the strings the whole time (his eyes glowed ink green when he achieved his goal and I think that that’s something)
- The reveal of who stole the scroll and presumably gave it to Jin & Yin or AL (I firmly believe it wasn’t Azure because the person in the cloak had human proportions)
- Azure getting stuck with leaderly responsibilities (this could very well be played for comedy)
- Everyone learns why exactly the Jade Emperor being absorbed(?) is such a bad thing for the universe
- Peng insulting more people down to their core (I am firmly on the side of the fandom that likes that bird and I think he’s got an interesting role in the group dynamic)
- Yellow Tusk being wise in a significant way (like maybe a line where he’s like “Hey Azure, something’s up with you, maybe calm down a little?”
- Nezha being taught that he has value beyond what post he can take up and maybe having a cute moment where he at least smiles
- More content regarding Princess Iron Fan’s days as a celestial (this one I’m fine with because that shot with her and DBK’s first meeting is everything to me)
- More DBK angst (dude clearly has an issue with being called “weak” and I want to see another adorable shot with him and his wife saving each other from the ink)
- Red Son confronting his own issues + maybe even his parental abuse (maybe we could get flashbacks if we’re lucky)
- MK OR MEI RESCUING RED SON (if the show ends up leaving the fam in the scroll because they’re villains and it gets them out of the way I will be PISSED)
- MK, Macaque and the audience finally seeing what mind games Wukong was being put through (because we didn’t actually get to see that in s4 and since he never got out I bet we’re being set up to finally see him and Mac’s fallout in s5)
- More monkey form MK (hopefully him eventually coming to “embrace it” without “accepting his destiny”)
- MK finding out what exactly Subodhi meant by the stone being remade to make another celestial / demon monkey, but MK not actually being born from the stone (maybe getting to meet that goddess in the artwork who potentially shaped him (Quanyin?))
- Finding out what happened to the Samadhi Fire (we haven’t seen Mei use it since LBD and the only time it was mentioned since was Subodhi talking about it in past tense, and honestly if the writers nerfed her simply because they had trouble write conflict while Mei had that universe-destroying power I’m kinda chill with that)
- Sandy’s being “too nice for [his] own good” becoming a character flaw that he has to get past in order to save his friends (someone on tumblr came up with the theory that Sandy’s hiding something and being super nice on purpose and I haven’t been able to stop thinking of it)
- Seeing WTF happened to the Mayor after LBD’s defeat (did he shrivel up and die because his source of immortal power was destroyed? did he actually get arrested by the Megapolis law enforcement that we’ve never seen because everyone saw their mayor hanging behind the demon freezing and destroying the city + he’s more closely connected to human society than any of the other villains so he deserves a human punishment? Or did he actually get away and is currently plotting revenge while having an identity crisis? (please writers even if he anticlimactically died off-screen I WANT TO KNOW))
#wow ok this was a lot of stuff#but I wanted to cover all of my thoughts#I might actually think of more later so I might ykow add part 2.5#lego monkie kid#lego monkie kid season 5#lmk#lmk s5#lmk season 5#longpost#I'm so invested in this 2 part season#they really left episodic format behind since season 3#Lily Orchard is gonna hate this#but Ink MK is right#now that they've experienced all that they have it's impossible to go back#the show is clearly disregarding that old rule of episodic superhero shows not developing their protagonists or acknowledging their trauma#LMK is becoming darker and I have mixed feelings about it#also I did not expect MK to actually be surprised that his name could also be an acronym for his title#I guess he really wasn't lying when he said his name was so long he went by MK#his mind was BLOWN#love that identity realization for him#at first I was sceptical of monkey mk being canonized#because I thought it was fine that mk was just a normal teenager who inexplicably had easy access to the monkey king's powers#it is a kid's show after all#but Tang pointing it out actually proved the show had more thought put into it than I'd realized#of course that's not to say that the show isn't clever or doesn't have meaning#I just thought lmk was going to be more like a thoughtless kid's show with a bit of heart#but honestly#considering my child self#I would've been so grateful for this plot twist#because I was a kid who analyzed the heck out of any show I watched
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how and why is there discourse about whether or not certain queer identities exist/if people should be allowed(???) to use them. why is "people know their own identity better than you ever could, and they're the only one who get a say on what they are" such a tough concept to grasp
i think if you find yourself offended by the label someone uses (especially if they're a stranger) or think it invalidates your own, it's a good idea to look inside yourself and question why that may be. more often than not, it's a result of insecurity or uncertainty of your own identity (or many other things, but i won't make a whole list here). whatever reason it is, until you resolve it, you shouldn't take it out on people for having an identity you don't understand
many have said it before but it's worth saying over and over. infighting only helps our oppressors. conservatives don't care if you're a cis gay or a xenogender aegosexual aplatonic lesbian, they hate all of us either way. trying to fit in by going for people who are easier targets for them isn't gonna help you, it'll just alienate you from your own community, and you're never gonna please them. the momentary rush you get from hearing you're not like "one of /those/ gay people" is not worth it and is gonna do more harm in the long run, i assure you
also, it is important to me to say this, but having some less than nice kneejerk reaction caused by confusion about an identity you don't understand doesn't mean you're a bad person or anything. as long as you aren't mean to that person, and you take a second to think smth along the lines of "wait a minute, this isn't any of my business" after having said reaction, you're good 👍 a lot of reflexive reactions we have to things are ingrained into us simply by. well. living in a society 🤡 and you're not terrible for having those thoughts. it's your actions that matter, and your second thought (the "wait, why did i just think that?") is more defining of your actual character and morals than your reflex. i know that having thoughts like this, even tho they're unwanted, can very easily make one spiral, so it's important to me that whoever needs to hear this knows this doesn't make you a bad person 🙏 you're good, keep taking actions to be good, accept other people even if you don't understand them, and you're on the right track :)
#i considered adding that last part in the tags but i figured it'll be too long for that 😭#i noticed i'm posting a lot of rants lately. sorry. but i do wanna make sure no one's actually feeling bad over them#if i complain about something that you do or call it mean and such. that doesn't make you a bad person#you can always work to change and grow 👍 it's not easy but it starts with smaller steps than you'd expect#and now i just switched to a whole other topic from my original point. oops#i do firmly believe that any discourse about someone's identity is dumb as fuck#seeing it in poll blogs always makes me 😐😬 like how is it any business for any of us. why is this up for debate#if a person says they're queer then they are. they don't need to pass some test or go through initiation to be accepted#if they feel comfortable with a certain word that's awesome. why does it matter to *you* which word they use#'they're only using this microlabel to feel special' so? is there anything wrong with that?#'this label contradicts [insert other identity that falls under the same umbrella]' ok. but does that hurt anyone in any way#a lot of identities can even be self contradictory. does it matter tho? does it affect anyone in any way?#'they might realize that label is wrong later' again. what's the harm in that.#i don't blame anyone for these thoughts bc like. this is how cishets view a lot of the even more common labels#so you're basically taught to think this way from day one. that doesn't mean you need to stick to that thought process#you might have these reflexes forever no matter how hard you try. but you'll get quicker about moving on from them#but you do have to try. you do have to realize that other people's identities aren't about you#anyway. this post feels like batting at a hornets nest. really hope i don't get some bad faith readers here lol#(i noticed a lot of places one could apply bad faith but like it's 3:30 am i'm too tired to add this many disclaimer.#so i'm gonna trust you to not jump to conclusions and to approach this in good faith okay? mwah 🖤)#also my whole ramble abt morality (in the tags too) is relevant to. any topic really#i may just make a separate post about it really. .....tomorrow tho.
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Taylor Swift songs that scream Gretson (to me):
(Bc I said I would make a list and put illicit affairs in the first place)
Illicit affairs: it’s (kinda) literally canon
Seven: If they met as kids and were friends and fell in love but didn’t realize until they were in their 20s (yes it’s an AU fight me)
Gold Rush: WHAT MUST IT BE LIKE TO GROW UP THAT BEAUTIFUL? WITH YOUR HAIR FALLING INTO PLACE LIKE DOMINOES. (are you telling me Carson doesn’t sing this every time she sees Greta?)
You Belong With Me: I just… okay this has been my song of choice for every non-canon ship. AND it just so happens that it also fits Greta looking at Carson and Charlie if they were teenagers yk?
Style: AND I GOT THAT RED LIP CLASSIC THING THAT YOU LIKE
Cardigan: they literally kissed in a car and a downtown bar and talked about stars and scars from the past. This is THEIR song.
The Great War: it’s set during war. I VOWED I WOULD ALWAYS BE YOURS CAUSE WE SURVIVED THE GREAT WAR (i just think it’s neat)
The Way I Loved You: I never knew I could feel that much And that’s the way I loved you. It’s literally Carson after kissing Greta for the first time. (And you can’t fight me on this one).
Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve: It’s just gonna be lyrics okay? “And now that I know I wish you’d left me wondering” is that not “Sometimes I wish I never knew what it felt like to be with her… ‘Cause then the end wouldn’t hurt like this”???? “If you never touched me, I would've Gone along with the righteous If I never blushed, then they could've Never whispered about this And if you never saved me from boredom I could've gone on as I was But, Lord, you made me feel important And then you tried to erase us” that’s the feeling behind “to the five” it’s too long idgaf.
Lover: Can I go where you go? Can we always be this close? “What would happen if I came to California with you?” ??!?!?!?!!!??!!!!
Anti-Hero: I just think it has a lot of Greta vibes.
Mastermind: That’s so “She doesn’t look like that much competition” GRETA YOUR LESBIAN IS SHOWING
Invisible string: last but not least. I won’t elaborate but I love this song.
Death By A Thousand Cuts: “THE ONLY THING WE SHARE IS THIS SMALL TOWN” “PAPER CUT STINGS FROM OUR PAPER THIN PLANS” do I have to say more? (Thank you @youroldfriendmurkyaura )
#might add more from different singers/bands later#it just so happens that I started listening to more TS when I realized I’m a lesbian#and without ALOTO I wouldn’t have realized that so they just kinda go hand in hand in my brain#shoutout to Betty bc atfau on twitter makes me think about that song too#and to welcome to new york; a song I’ve never listened to but It has NY in the name and Greta is from NY so🤷🏻♀️#gretson#greta gill#carson shaw#ALOTO#a league of their own
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dbd released a trailer for their new game, the casting of frank stone
#i love more lore <3 they're probably gonna explore where the entity comes from and stuff like that#i wonder if they're going to then add the characters into dbd? probably later down the line...#at first i thought it was going to be trapper lore expansion too when i saw the workbench and the fact that its a steel mill#although macmillan is a mining estate and not milling but... anyway then i realized that Yeah. thats not evan..#the entity kinda looked cool with one spider leg coming from the sky that was hella dope....#it seems like maybe frank stone was already seeing the entity similarly to how it revealed itself to mikaela and kate with the sketches#shown in the trailer. its kinda weird to see a bvhr game with these types of graphics lol im so used to how dbd looks...#im interested ! maybe it'll be a survival horror game or something similar. ill have to wait and see if i wanna play it myself or not thoug#im obsessed with dbd lore though so :( i might have to fork over a few dollars. whatever.#95
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I don't care about the fact that Marge is a means to an end for Tom and that he befriends her as a safety net to get close to Dickie their friendship is real to me and I think it adds to my viewing experience
#the talented mr. ripley#tom ripley#i think it was at least real on her end#she saw him as an ally she could confide in not just another one of Dickies friends#when she says that thing about Dickie being the sun it was so important to me#i feel like it made the later scenes of her realizing Toms crimes all the more powerful#she has already lost and to add insult to injury she realized that her friend was never really on her side#i might write a fic about this#their relationship is important to me and makes my veiwing experience better
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rock sausage
#toy pic post#undescribed#get colonised with beneficial bacteria. idiot#soon ill finally be rid of ALL the Wretched Fucking Coco Puffs (eheim substratpro)#fucking wretched things gave me such horrible nitrate spikes bc the damn things were only doing like 2/3rds of their fucking job and i#didnt REALIZE it. ive replaces Most of them with seachem Matrix. and now im trying to get this batch of fresh brand new Matrix to colonise#a little before i switch out more of them#i thiiiiiiiink the other 2 filters are completely empty of the evil balls by now? but not certain#need to do them. tonight. so i can add meds#cos rn my Wild Guess for why the white corys are just acting SO wrong and abnormal and Fucking Weird and like#Rotting Recreationally is gill flukes. so. i have! api general cure. which is metronidazole and praziquantel and should treat if its#gill flukes or some other parasites or ich. but i think i Might have some purigen in one of the smaller filters. so. need to get that out#first#also YES my algae is insane i need to scrub it i KNOW. i just adjusted the light schedule to be a couple hours shorter and ill scrub it#soon. im prioritizing the filters today.might. nap#and then. either do the filters later tonight OR if i dont get to them tonight. tomorrow after work i guess#90gal#anyway. hope i can get it done soon and then treat them and that it works for Whatever is fucking wrong with them and they get better#and that i dont have to swear off albino fish for the rest of ever#god. the hair algae on those pothos roots..............💀#ill scoop it when im done with the filters okayyyyyy. and if i have it in me ill scrub the wall and the anubias#i like the anubias method of fighting the algae of just put out a brand new leaf every week to soak up the light before it gets completely#covered by algae#and by like i mean i wish it had more effective methods of fighting off algae bc scrubing the leaves of my live plant is getting fuckin old
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THIS I HAVE THOUGHTS
So i made up this whole scenario where tsukasa slowly starts experimenting n stuff
He goes and buys a skirt (“its for my sister—“) the employees like sure whatever (bonus points if its akito)
He tries it on and likes it
At some point he goes to the wonderstage wayy early before practice and tries on a stage wig they had laying around
He says “well i might as well try on the character outfit too” (im picturing long blond hair styled like minoris lightfes (idk the lilykasa set) with a victorian esc out ((picture: the villainess from that one isekai anime))
The others all show up at the same time (emu caught rui + nene at the gate)
It goes as follows:
Tsukasa strutting on stage and posing about
Nene: uh hey miss? you know you cant be here right? We need to practice—
Rui: *nods or something- proud nene is talking so outwardly to a stranger probably*
Emu: yeah you should— hey wait isn’t that one of the stage wigs?
Nene: oh yeah, and thats one of the old outfits we haven’t used yet too..
Tsukasa, still flabbergasted and struggling to explain because omg they didnt recognize omg ‘miss’ wait shit how do i explain this and oh god im in trouble,
…
T: So uh uhm, i may have made a realization about myself—
Emu: TSUKASA-KUN?!?!! You’re so pretty!! :0
Tsukasa: really!?!! You think that (oh shes smiling and so embarassed rn)
Rui: ah, i see whats happening here
R: well dont worry tsukasa-kun, we support you and however you wish to be perceived
Nene: yeahhhh- we still need to practice though so maybe change into something easier to move in. Also its summer you’ll get heat stroke with that thing im sure of it
Tsukasa: RIGHT! YES! WILL DO- BYE
(Shes still a little flustered from being caught but also glad that wxs supports her :D)
This is so rushed and also probably ooc (its also late my brains frying a little) but i wanted to rant before i forgot
trans fem kasa is such a. thing. i think about often.
hes always been the other brother, thats what he is!! the older brother!! THE brother!! hes rhe older brother and caretaker. and him being a brother to saki is so so important to him, so what happens when he starts to feel less and less connected to his masculinity?
he ignores it. because hes tsukasa
but also. he never turns down opportunities to do more 'feminine' stuff, like wearing dresses or having his makeup and nails one, and he always plays it off as just not caring but he loves it
and obviously he convinces himself he doesnt
do you think hed sew together the costumes and try them on himself, including the feminine ones? do you think hed look in the mirror, thinking about going on stage as the HEROINE without a hint of regret? do you think hed feel guilty for not being whats expected from the overly confident, never faltering future star AND brother?
of course not!! because tsukasa tenma is THE brother and star of all time who would never not feel comfortable with who he is (lie)
hes probably got some internal transphobia
and itd take a while for tsukasa to tell anyone else this, ans itd take a while for her to understand and accept that she is infact a HER, but its like any other challenge shes overcome :) shes strong!!
sorry if someones already spoken abt tfemkasa b4 i didnt check behe i have lots of thoughts about her
TRANSFEM KASA!!!!!!! i love transfem tsukasa
#also akito plays celeste#she has a new realization about herself#and dreads the commonalities forming between her and tsukasa lol#that and or my twin has convinced me#genderfluid akito shinonome#and i agree#transfem tsukasa#is so fun- like i dont see it in canon but also- perhaps#project sekai#proseka headcanons#prsk#project sekai colorful stage#prosekai#pjsk#tsukasa tenma#also the isekai anime is ‘im in love with the villainess’ i think#from what ive heard and seen its good#seriously though akito cannot be cis no cis person wears that many layers#reblog#might add more later#we’ll see#wonderlands x showtime#wxs#if you see this thanks gor reading all this my gosh its kinda a lot lol#damn i wanna draw this— someone tag me if you do cus i probably wont—
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A Helping Hand
Pairing: Azriel × reader
A/N: so here it is, my first Azriel fic! I'm so excited to share this and I hope you all enjoy it too.
Summary: The bond snapped for Azriel the moment he saw her, thrown into the Cauldron with Elain and Nesta. Now, he wants to help her as she struggles to cope with what happened.
Warnings: angst, ptsd, mention of pain and drowning
Word count: 3.6k
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It had been one week since Y/N was kidnapped and thrown into the Cauldron. One week since Azriel had found his mate. Even bloodied, with an arrow in his chest, only barely conscious, he’d taken one heavy-lidded look at her and just known.
He’d awoken three days later, still a bit weak but finally able to stand up, to walk. To go see her.
For four days now, Azriel had brought a tray of food to her room, asked her if she needed anything, and told her not to hesitate to tell someone if she did. Sometimes she would shake her head or answer in a whisper with a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’. Sometimes she would just look at him, though it was as if she couldn’t really see him. But most often, she would keep staring at the wall or out the window, not showing any sign that she even realized he’d walked in.
Azriel knew she was struggling. Mor and Rhys had gotten even less of a reaction out of her. Cassian was still healing. Elain and Nesta were trying to adapt as well, each in their own way, and though Y/N was their sister’s friend, neither of the girls had asked to see her. Nor her them, for that matter. So Azriel had taken it upon himself to check on her a couple of times every day.
He knocked gently on her door, waiting for an answer that didn’t come. But she wasn’t sleeping, his shadows confirmed that. Despite his initial protest, a few tendrils had slipped away from his control and now lingered in the darker corners of her room. He’d thought it a violation of her privacy, but she was his mate and she was struggling, and a part of him was glad that his shadows would keep an eye on her. Were eager to, was more like it. So he’d let them.
Azriel pushed the door open and was not surprised to find Y/N sitting in front of the window. It was either that or she’d be curled up on her bed. This time, though, her gaze slid toward him as he took a step inside, and when their eyes met for even just a second, his heart raced in his chest.
“Hello, Azriel,” she said quietly, and her soft voice pronouncing his name for the first time was almost enough to bring him to his knees.
“Hi,” he replied, clearing his throat before taking a few steps forward. He stood a few feet from her, afraid he might startle her. She’d spoken to him, had been the first one to do so, and he considered it progress. He wouldn’t ruin it. “I just wanted to check on you.”
His eyes took her in, and he felt the urge, the need, to reach out to her, to take her in his arms and hold her. She’d turned toward the window again, but he could still see the dark circles under her eyes and her haunted expression. Her posture was rigid, her skin pale, her hair looked like it hadn’t been washed in days. And as he scanned the room, he noticed the tray of food he’d brought her that morning. Untouched.
“You didn’t eat anything,” he added gently, and he had to bite his tongue before he could add ‘again’. She would rarely take one or two bites of food, and it was starting to show. But Azriel knew he couldn’t force her to eat and he was still trying to find a way to convince her.
A few heartbeats passed before Y/N answered, still not looking at him. “I’m not hungry.”
Azriel shoved down his rising frustration. That was not what she needed. But seeing his mate suffer like this, unable to eat, to sleep, and not knowing what to do to help her was driving him crazy.
He debated leaving her alone and maybe go talk to Rhys, asking him whether he knew if there was something else Azriel could do, some kind of help only a mate could provide. That would entail revealing Y/N was his mate, but if it was the only way… besides, his family had probably already understood it. Rhys and Amren, at least.
Azriel looked at her one last time, but she was still staring outside. She’d fallen into her trance once more. He opened his mouth to bid her goodbye, but that’s when he realized it.
Her nightgown. It was the same one she was wearing that morning. And the day before. And the one before that one. He’d never seen her wear anything else, actually. Had she not changed since she’d arrived here?
He frowned, glancing at the drawer before focusing on her again, but his voice was gentle when he spoke. Tentative, almost. “Do you need some clean clothes?”
That got a reaction out of her. She looked down at her nightgown, then at the door that led to the bathroom before finally looking at him. But her eyes dropped as she answered. “I can’t take a bath.”
The words were barely audible even in the silent room, and yet they hit Azriel like a punch to the gut. She couldn’t take a bath. Couldn’t, probably because it brought back memories of the Cauldron. His heart clenched and he had to take a deep breath to calm down and not go back to Hybern to deal with the king all by himself.
His shadows lunged forward as if they wanted to reassure her, but he held them back. He approached her slowly, stopping just in front of her. He crouched down next to her and waited for her to meet his eyes before speaking.
“Let me help,” he said, unable to hide his concern any longer. He wanted to erase that haunted look from her eyes and he’d do anything to make her feel safe and protected again.
“You’re not alone, Y/N,” he continued, his tone gentle. In his mind, he was cursing himself for not having thought she might experience this kind of problem. “I could help you bathe. We can do it at your pace and stop whenever you wish.”
She stared into his eyes and it felt like an eternity passed before she nodded. Relief flooded his chest at her trust, her willingness to finally let someone help her.
Without a word, she stood up and headed for the bathroom. Azriel followed her, his wings tucked in tight behind his back. He had no idea what he was doing, but he knew one thing: he’d do anything in his power to help her, now and forever.
~~~~~~
Y/N watched the water slowly fill the tub. Her heart was already pounding in her chest, but she could feel Azriel next to her and somehow it steadied her.
Being around him was weird. She couldn’t point out what it was exactly that made her feel that way. There was just something about him that made all her senses go on alert, and yet she wouldn’t describe it as an uncomfortable feeling. Not to mention how Azriel was one of the few things she remembered from that day in Hybern. The Cauldron, and him. His body covered in blood, with that arrow protruding from his chest. And the relief she’d felt the first time she saw him walk into her room, healed.
“Y/N?”
She blinked, the tub now filled before her. Azriel said something else, but she wasn’t listening. A frown appeared on her face as she stared down at the water like it was her worst enemy. She guessed it was, in a way. Especially after what had happened when she’d tried to take a bath a few days ago. But Azriel was right. She wasn’t alone now. Maybe this time would be different.
She hadn’t changed her nightgown since she’d been given it a week ago simply because she couldn’t stand the sight of her own body. It didn’t feel like hers anymore. It didn’t look much different from when she was human, other than the arched Fae ears, but now it felt like it was someone else’s. Like it didn’t belong to her.
But she now let it fall off her body, not even noticing the shadows that shot forward to cover her nakedness. She didn’t care. Didn’t care about anything other than that tub and what was about to happen.
With a steadying breath, she climbed inside. The shadows didn’t follow her into the warm water, leaving her completely exposed, and maybe in another situation she would have blushed. Just a week ago, she would have. But now there was only her and the water, reaching up almost to her shoulders, and for the first few moments she thought it was going to be fine.
And then she was in the Cauldron again.
She began shaking as the dark water rose and rose, and it was now at her neck, and she knew it’d soon reach her mouth and her nose, and then it’d submerge her and the pain would begin. Every cell in her body was yelling at her to get out, to swim toward the surface, but she couldn’t move, couldn’t speak, couldn’t think.
She could hear a muffled voice coming from outside the Cauldron, but she couldn’t make out the words. The world was quickly disappearing, the water rising, and she was trapped, trapped under the surface, trapped in the darkness. Soon she’d feel that excruciating pain again, as if her body was being ripped apart, slowly and thoroughly.
Tears were streaming down her face and she sobbed, drawing her legs close to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. She began to rock back and forth and maybe she was begging for it to stop, to never start, maybe she was screaming or calling out for someone, maybe she wasn’t saying anything at all.
As that dark freezing water closed above her and pulled her under, she knew the pain would come soon. And there was nothing she could do to stop it. She was drowning and there was nothing she could do, nothing she could do, nothing she could…
A tender, gentle touch on her cheek. From far away, someone called her name. And among the chaos, the darkness, the crippling fear, she saw a pair of hazel eyes, soft and yet concerned. A male voice assuring her that she was safe, that he was with her.
She wanted to believe that voice, but the water was pulling her under, cold and dark and terrifying. But that gentle voice was still talking to her, those hazel eyes still looking into hers, and she tried to hold on to them, to not let it all slip away.
And then someone took her hand and suddenly she felt something thumping beneath her palm. A heartbeat, she realized. Life.
Heartbeat meant life. Not death, not pain.
Life.
“Breathe with me, Y/N.”
She didn’t know where the voice was coming from, how it could sound so clear and close when she was drowning in the depths of the Cauldron.
“One breath in, one breath out.”
That heartbeat was steady, the voice gentle, those hazel eyes still in front of her. Like a light in the dark. She had to reach them, somehow.
“Can you do it for me, Y/N?”
She didn’t know if she could, but she wanted to. Her lungs were full of water and she was drowning, dragged down and down in the endless pit of the Cauldron, pain tearing her apart as she sank. But the voice never stopped. It kept telling her she was safe, asking her to stay with him, to breathe with him. And so she did, following his instructions.
One breath in, one breath out.
She stared into those beautiful eyes.
One breath in, one breath out.
She focused on that heart beating against her palm.
One breath in, one breath out.
The Cauldron disappeared. She blinked, and Azriel was there. He was kneeling next to the tub, his hands holding hers against his chest, on his heart. There was a small smile on his face.
“That’s it, Y/N. You’re doing great,” he said, his tone reassuring and soothing. “You’re here with me. You’re safe now. No one will harm you, I promise.”
She had stopped shaking and rocking, but tears were still running down her cheeks. Azriel just kept murmuring praises and reassurances, his eyes never leaving hers. And finally, after what felt like hours, she stopped crying.
She watched as Azriel wiped away her tears, as he leaned in to brush a kiss on her forehead. “You’re alright,” he whispered, and she believed him, but her eyes never left him.
“Let’s get you cleaned up, okay? You’re doing great, Y/N,” he continued, his voice low and soothing.
She didn’t stop him when he picked up a sponge, poured some scented soap on it, and then began to pass it over her arm, his touch light and careful as if he was afraid of hurting her. But even if he wasn’t looking at her anymore, she kept her eyes on his face and her hand pressed against his chest. She still needed to feel his heartbeat, his breathing, so that she could sync it with her own.
But slowly, as Azriel passed the sponge on her arms, her shoulders, her back, she began to relax. He’d pulled her back to reality and he was now washing her with such gentleness, as if she were the most precious thing in the world.
“Azriel…” she murmured, her hand finally falling away from his chest. She could breathe on her own now, though a bit shakily.
He paused mid-scrub, his sponge on her neck. “I’m here, Y/N,” he said as he met her eyes. “Are you alright?”
She didn’t know how to answer that question. She wasn’t alright, but she was better than before. And this time, thanks to him, she hadn’t spent hours trapped in the tub, only to bolt out once she’d regained control, without having even touched the soap. Even now, though, she had to fight to keep the fear at bay.
“No,” she murmured. Once again, Azriel’s presence made her feel comfortable enough to share that truth and let herself be vulnerable. It was like an innate feeling in her chest, encouraging her to trust him.
She saw the concern in his eyes as she answered and how he seemed to tense a little, but he didn’t comment on it. Instead, he offered her the sponge and gestured vaguely to her body, as if to tell her to take over the task. “I’ll wash your hair.”
Before she could say anything, he was already moving behind her and filling a jug with water. While she finished washing her body, Azriel took care of her hair, a hand shielding her forehead and her eyes. She didn’t know if it was just a random precaution or if he could somehow sense that getting water on her face would bring back the memories of the Cauldron. Something told her it was the latter.
She even went as far as closing her eyes, relaxing slightly under his gentle care.
~~~~~~
Azriel felt her relax, and a small smile appeared on his lips as he continued to rinse her hair.
He'd seen the terror and horror seize her body and her mind, his heart breaking at the sight and at the sound of her weak voice just repeating the word ‘please’ over and over. She'd been so lost in it that he couldn't reach her, and he'd been about to pick her up and out of the tub when he'd had an idea and decided to try one last thing. Fortunately, his heartbeat worked, and he was proud of her for pushing through and coming back to reality. Back to him.
Once her hair was clean, she looked so relaxed that Azriel just wanted to make her feel like that for a little longer. He picked up the comb and started to run it through her hair, making sure no tangles remained.
She stirred a bit but didn't say anything. He was glad he could help her now, at least. When she'd been shoved into the Cauldron, he was so hurt and weak that he couldn't do anything more than take one little step in her direction before his brothers held him back.
“I'm all done,” he said after a few minutes, breaking the comfortable silence they'd fallen into. “Would you like to stay here a bit longer?”
She shook her head and immediately rose from the tub, her body dripping water. Azriel made sure to have his shadows cover her nakedness again as he offered her a towel, but it still wasn't enough to prevent his heart from pounding in his chest.
Though it stopped as soon as she stepped out of the tub, and he noticed the tears in her eyes.
“Y/N, what's wrong?” he asked. Maybe he'd gone too far, maybe he'd done something wrong or overstepped in some way. But she had seemed so calm and relaxed till a few moments ago…
She took a step toward him and reached out, gently taking his hand. “I… I just don't know how to thank you,” she murmured, and Azriel felt relief wash over him. “What you've just done for me, I… I can't thank you enough for it.”
Azriel smiled, then. A reassuring, soft smile as he gave her hand a tender squeeze. “You don't need to. You needed help, and I'm glad I was the one who could offer it to you.”
She didn't look convinced, but she nodded anyway and stepped back, releasing his hand. “Thank you, Azriel.”
He wanted to tell her, then. That he'd always be there for her, whatever she needed, because she was his mate and he couldn't stand to see her suffer. But he couldn't tell her, not now, not when she was still so vulnerable.
Instead, he replied, “I told you. You don't have to thank me.”
Azriel wanted to wipe away her tears, to wrap her in his arms and never let her go. He wanted to make all her fears and worries disappear. And maybe one day they could get there. For now, he just gave her another smile. “I’ll let you get dressed. But if you need anything else, please let me know. There’s nothing wrong with asking for help.”
He began to walk out and toward her room’s door, his shadows lingering close to her for a second before they drifted back to their master. And as his hand grabbed the handle, he heard her soft voice calling him once more.
“Azriel?”
He turned back to her. She was standing in the bathroom doorway, still wrapped in the towel, and she was chewing on her lower lip, as if not sure she should continue. When she didn’t say anything, he stepped away from the door. “Yes, Y/N?”
It took her one more moment before she finally answered. “I’d like to sleep, but I… I usually can’t, with all the nightmares. But I’m so tired and I thought…” She paused and he could see she was getting embarrassed. He’d just helped her bathe and she hadn’t shied away, but now she was nervous about whatever she was going to ask? He tilted his head, not sure where this was going, and she continued. “I feel like I can trust you, like I’m safe with you. And after what you did for me, I thought… would you mind staying with me a bit longer? Just until I fall asleep, I promise.”
Her words were so unexpected that he didn’t react at first. Helping her bathe had been his idea, and she’d just agreed. But knowing her trust was enough for her to ask this, that he made her feel safe after everything she’d been through… it warmed his heart.
She must have misunderstood his silence, because she began babbling. “Or not, I guess. I’m sorry, I wasn’t… I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, I just thought… I shouldn’t have taken for granted you would–”
“Y/N,” Azriel interrupted, taking one step toward her. “I don’t mind. I’d gladly stay, if that’s what you want.”
A hint of a smile graced her lips. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” he answered, his breath catching at the sight of that first tiny, shy smile. “You can trust me, and you are safe with me.” He gestured toward her dresser. “Now get changed. You deserve some rest.”
She nodded and Azriel made sure to look out the window as she put on a clean nightgown. He then moved the chair she’d been sitting on earlier close to her bed and watched her climb under the sheets. Even pale and tired, she looked beautiful, with her damp hair spread out on the pillow.
“I know you said I don’t have to,” she murmured, her eyes scanning his face, “but I’ll never thank you enough for this.”
Azriel just smiled. “Try to sleep, Y/N. Don’t worry about that.”
She curled up into herself, her eyes closing, yet she still whispered one more thing. “Just until I fall asleep. Then you can go.”
“I know.”
Now that she couldn’t see them, his shadows seized the opportunity to leave his side and curled through her hair, as if they too found it hard to keep away. He didn’t try to stop them or make them fall back, not when her expression relaxed even more and her breathing became slow and deep.
He wanted to be there, in case she’d wake up because of the nightmares she’d mentioned. So even long after she’d fallen asleep, Azriel kept watch over his mate.
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Read part 2 here!
#azriel × reader#azriel shadowsinger#azriel#sjm#acotar#azriel fanfic#azriel fluff#azriel spymaster#fanfic#fic#fanfiction#imagine#azriel x y/n#fluff#sarah j maas#acomaf#acowar
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Not sure if I’m doing this right since I’m new to tumbler :D but hi love ur writing followed you in an instant!
I was wondering if you could write something for a very low self esteem, inexperienced reader who goes to uni so is like 21 or something and is Miguel’s neighbor. They live in this building and their other neighbor is a rude lady who complains at the slightest Noise basically. she doesn’t dare bother Miguel but is always bothering the reader since reader can’t tell her to f off. Reader is just such sweet chubby lil cinnamon roll :(
Idk if I should have been less descriptive or more TvT; ?
Anyway hope you’re doing great :D don’t forget to hydrate ♥️
1K Prompts
Pairing: Miguel O’Hara x fem!reader
Warnings: 18+, NSFW, Age Gap, Sexual Touching (With Clothes on), Slight Fluff
Summary: He helps you, you help him.
A/N: This is perfect, don’t worry, love!!!
Word Count: 2.4K (Not Edited)
This is most definitely going to leave you a crying wreck in your bathroom later.
Your nerves were already on high alert with finally becoming independent and moving out of the college dorms, that pesky exam and assignment you procrastinated on working on, and your job has been firing and hiring people left and right. The last thing you needed was your cranky old neighbor, (it is crazy to think that you once thought she was going to be a kind old woman who would give you cookies when she was lonely), to come banging on your door with a list of complaints and reasons why she could get you evicted. You do not know what to do, never being in this type of situation before. Honestly, you do not even know about half the things this woman is accusing you of.
You can only stand there, hand tightly holding the door open as you try not to cry from stress. In your head, you are counting in an effort to make sure your breaths are coming out evenly. The last thing you want is to have a panic attack and have your neighbor add the threat of a mental hospital to the list. You nod along weakly to what she says, letting out whispered apologies that only seem to make her angrier.
“You useless teenagers and your need to ruin good things, don’t think I forgot when you tr-”
“Is there a problem here?”
His voice is deep and smooth, causing the both of you to jolt. You visibly relax when you turn your head to find Miguel standing outside his apartment door. He has just gotten back from work and running errands, his lab coat draped over his arm as he holds paper bags in his arms. His hair is slightly tousled from the autumn breeze, and a few strands of his black hair are scattered with grey. His sweater hugs his arms and torso in a way that is mouthwatering, and you quickly look away when his eyes meet yours.
Miguel is the only neighbor you really know. He had helped you the first time you moved in, hearing the way you struggled to bring some things up to your apartment. He offered to help, carrying in boxes faster than you could into your apartment. When you had gotten furniture, he was happy to come over and assemble it for you. He is so kind to you, offering to help with a leaking pipe or to answer any of your questions about how to do something. You might have grown a slight crush on your neighbor, something that slightly freaked you out when you realized because of the obvious age gap the two of you have. You have not even finished college yet and he is in his mid-thirties working in a big corporate lab.
Miguel clears his throat and you look back at him. He stares at you expectantly, totally ignoring the stuttering woman who tries to answer his question. He is only ever interested in what you have to say. You flush under his intent gaze, quickly shaking your head. You do not want to cause more problems, and you definitely do not want to have your cranky neighbor form a bigger vendetta against you.
Miguel’s eyebrow raises, definitely catching the anxious expression on your face. He hums dismissively after a minute, eyes lazily trailing back to the older woman. His nose scrunches up slightly at the sight of her and he looks away again as the woman stops trying to defend herself. Miguel shrugs, the paper bags rustling with their contents. He turns to face you, once again ignoring the older woman.
“Then you wouldn’t mind helping me put away my groceries, right? Can’t get my keys with my hands full,” Miguel speaks in a lazy drawl.
You are quick to nod your head in agreement, stepping out of your doorway and closing the door. The woman steps back, a displeased look on her face as she watches you walk over to Miguel. Miguel keeps his eyes trained on you, watching everything you do. You are shy when you smile up at him. With your back turned towards the old woman, you mouth a ‘thank you’ to him. His eyes instantly snap to your lips, intently studying your exaggerated words. His eyes seem to darken for a second before he blinks and it is gone. His eyes trail back up to your eyes and he tilts his head slightly down.
“Keys are in my pants pocket.”
You quickly nod, whispering out an ‘okay’. Your face burns as you have to get closer to him to not knock into his arms. The angle is slightly awkward, your hands slip into his pants pocket and your face burns from having your hand so close to his…thing. As you try to find his keys, Miguel looks down at you with a heated look. He watches silently for a few minutes before looking back up and over your shoulder to the older woman. His face is masked in indifference, maintaining eye contact with her until she fidgets and turns away without saying a word.
At the same time she walks into her own apartment, you make a sound of victory as you finally retrieve his keys. You dangle them in his face with a proud smile, and he gives you an amused smirk. He steps away from his apartment door, giving you room to step in front of him and unlock his door. As you insert the key, you feel Miguel press up against your back. His warmth seeps into your spine and you are quick to bite your tongue so you do not let out a squeal.
His breath tickles your neck and ear, warm and slightly minty. “What did I tell you about standing up for yourself, hmm cariño?”
The question rumbles with his voice and you have to hold your breath in order to not make an embarrassing sound. You turn to look at him over your shoulder and instantly regret it. He has not moved his face yet, and you are a breath away from him. If you leaned forward the slightest bit, your noses would be touching. You gulp nervously, and Miguel’s eyes trail down to your lips once again. He lets out a deep hum as you lick them nervously.
“I- she’s not that mean to me.” You whisper out in the older woman’s defense. You cannot help the way your lashes flutter as you try to meet his eyes.
Miguel scoffs at your defense, finally backing away from you. He shifts his hold on the bags, freeing his hand to turn the doorknob. Your hand is still there, and your breath hitches when his large hand encompasses yours. His hand moves both yours and the doorknob, making a combined effort to open the door. You are still watching him from over your shoulder, mouth slightly opened in awe. Miguel looks down at you, something playful in his eyes as he tilts his head to the side.
“You’re blocking the doorway, cariño. The ice cream I got you is going to melt.”
Your blush returns from the pet name and you stutter out an apology as you rush inside his apartment. It’s warm, and you’re hit with the smell of him. You find the light switch and turn on the lights, flooding the whole place with a warm glow. Miguel follows you into the kitchen, placing the paper bags on the dining room table. He rummages through them, glaring at you when you try to grab one to start helping. His hands connect with something cold, and he pulls out a personal pint of ice cream. He hands it over to you and you turn it around to see the label. Your eyes instantly light up when you read the brand and flavor. Last week you had ranted to Miguel about how the grocery store did not have your favorite ice cream in stock as he was fixing a problem with your internet. The whole time he just hummed along, you did not actually think he was listening.
He smiles softly at you as you beam up at him. He turns back to the groceries, sighing when he sees your hand reaching for the bags again. He turns to you with a bored expression. He gently removes your hands from the bag, telling you to go eat your ice cream before it melts. You grumble playfully under your breath, complaining about how you were supposed to be helping. He chuckles as he follows after you, getting a spoon out for you.
“I thought the whole point was that I was supposed to help you put the groceries away, not eat them.”
Your complaining is cut off by a yelp when Miguel grabs your waist. He lifts you up, putting you on top of the counter. Your eyes are wide as you look at him and his head nuzzles into the crook of your neck. You squirm slightly from his proximity.
“You can help me by sitting prettily and keeping me company. Tell me about your day.”
He pulls away then, returning to the dining room table and carrying a bag to the counter next to you. Your eyes are still bashful as you watch him, quietly opening your ice cream and beginning to eat it. Miguel starts to pull contents from the bag and looks over at you expectantly. Hesitantly, you begin to go through your day, easing into it the more you talk. You speak between bites of ice cream, half paying attention to Miguel as he walks around the kitchen to place things in their proper places. Occasionally, he looks over at you as you speak, his eyes trained on the way you place the spoon in your mouth and lick at the delicious treat.
You are almost done when he puts the last thing away. He walks over to you as you continue talking absentmindedly, just finished slipping the spoon out of your mouth again. You stop talking when Miguel’s eyes drop to your mouth, his thumb coming up the swipe at your lower lip. When he pulls it away, a bit of melted ice cream is stuck to his skin. His eyes meet yours again when he brings it to his mouth, licking it away. He hums in appreciation for the taste.
Your mouth drops open with a gasp as you watch, eyes trained on the pink muscle. You watch as his lips form a sly smile, and you blush as you look back into his eyes. But his eyes are still trained on your parted mouth, eyes dilated and hungry. He leans forward slightly, hand returning to rub at your bottom lip before he replaces it with his lips. He is not kissing you exactly, only sucking on your lip until it is swollen and red. He gives it a small nip before he pulls away, his hands falling to rub your thighs. It causes a small whimper to escape your mouth and Miguel basks in the noise.
His hand seeps closer and closer to the area between your thighs, grabbing the carton of ice cream and moving it to the side. His hands hastily return to the area between your thighs, fingers brushing against your center. Your breath hitches and you look down to where his hands are. Your attention is snapped away when his gravelly voice meets your ears.
“Continue with the story, querida. You don’t sound like you finished.”
You stutter over your words, the topic of conversation blanking from your mind. Miguel chuckles knowingly, his fingers continuing to brush up and down until they land on your clothed bud. He presses into it hard enough so you can feel it through the fabric of your pants and panties, gently reminding you where you left off. You nod nervously, hands snapping up to meet his shoulders as you feel wetness rushing into your panties. You stutter and choke on your words, eyes shutting as you rotate your hips sloppily into his hand. The movement is jerky, and you feel slightly embarrassed at how painfully obvious it is that no one has ever touched you like this before. But Miguel seems to like it, likes the idea that you’re untouched and he is the only person who has seen you like this.
It gets even better when you make those soft noises, cutting yourself off and having to be reminded about what you were saying. Miguel continues his hand movements, pressing into you and rubbing and stroking. Your wetness has seeped through your panties, dampening the material of your leggings. If you were not lost in how good it feels, you would have been grossed out and uncomfortable. A weak call of his name escapes you and Miguel looks up from your cunt to look at your face. He hums in acknowledgement, watching as you try to pull his face closer to yours in a kiss.
He swiftly avoids it, and you would have curled into yourself at the blunt rejection if you did not become distracted by his mouth suck and licking along your neck and jaw. Your mouth falls open with a moan, head leaning back to give him more room. He groans against your skin, fingers pressing tight circles to your clit. With a few hard circles, your back arches and your hold on him tightens. Gasping moans leave you and you feel the band in you snap, releasing more wetness into your panties as you finish. Miguel pulls his head away from your neck, keeping his fingers to your bud as you ride out the orgasm. Once you slump back down, he pulls his hands away. As you catch your breath, Miguel cleans up the mess on the counter. He reaches over, closing your melted ice cream and putting the spoon in the sink.
You are still in a daze when he pushes the warm container in your hands, his own hands gentle as he lifts you off the counter. Your eyes are glossy in after-lust as he gently guides you out of his apartment and into yours. His warm hand leaves the small of your back, massaging your sides before he whispers a thank you into your ear for your help. You are only pulled completely out of your daze when you hear your door lock and close as Miguel leaves. You turn to look at the door, cheeks blazing as you clutch tightly onto your ice cream.
You are totally getting a noise complaint for that old woman tomorrow.
Pt. 2 Pt. 3 Pt. 4 Pt. 5
Extra 1
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Dad!James Potter x Bsf!Reader ☼ 1486 words
You promised the girls just one blind date—nothing more, nothing less. At the time, it seemed like a harmless favor. But now, sitting across from your date in a dimly lit restaurant, the air thick with the aroma of their signature dish, the indistinguishable chatter of nearby diners, and the clatter of dinnerware, you’re starting to question that decision.
Connor shrugs, slicing into his steak with casual ease. “I didn’t do too much today. Babysat my nephew since my brother begged me,” he says, his tone indifferent. “But honestly, I hate babysitting his kid.”
“You don’t like kids?” You ask, doing your best to keep your voice neutral. You gingerly push your fork through another piece of pasta, trying to maintain an air of indifference.
He looks up at you, his dark curls nearly black and bouncing with the movement. “Hate ’em,” he says without hesitation.
You can’t help but notice how much he resembles an off-brand version of James, and it frustrates you. His familiar features keep pulling your thoughts back to your best friend instead of your date. At least, that’s the excuse you’ve been clinging to for the past hour.
“Oh.” You say softly, placing the food on your tongue and chewing slowly as you stare down at your plate.
“Do you have a kid or something?” You look up, a pause in your chewing as you find Conner holding his glass and watching you closely like he’s hoping you’ll say no.
Your first instinct is to say yes, and you nearly cringe when you realize your mistake.
You finish chewing and swallow hard. “Uh, no,” you say, shaking your head as you reach for your wine to wash down your feelings. “But my best friend does. Single parent.” You’re not sure why you felt the need to add that last part.
Connor leans back in his chair, nodding slowly. “Well, good for her,” he says. He isn’t sure why you’re telling him this, and frankly, he doesn’t care.
You sit up straighter. “Him,” you correct. Connor raises an eyebrow and not much later, he calls for the check.
James is surprised when he sees your call. He knows you’re supposed to be on a date—Lily mentioned it—and he’s been stress-cleaning his house ever since. Halfway through he gave up and turned a movie on instead.
“Darling?” He answers, “Is everything alright?”
“It could be better,” you say with a laugh that falls short of genuine humor. “I’m not too far from your place. Could I come over? I’m just at the Windmere.”
“Yeah. Let me—” There’s shuffling on the line as James grabs his jacket. “—I’ll meet you.”
You huff, “No. You’ve got Henry asleep upstairs.”
“It’s five minutes.” James protests, heading to the kitchen to grab the baby monitor off the counter.
“Exactly, Jamie. I’ll be there soon. I love you.” You hang up before he can respond, leaving him thoroughly disappointed. He appreciates every chance to tell you he loves you, even if it's just as friends.
It takes you less than five minutes to get to his house, and James flings open the door before you can even knock, making you giggle.
“You worry so much about me, Potter.” You say with a teasing smile as you push past him and kick off your heels, the click of the shoes hitting the floor echoing in the entryway.
James stands by the door, his gaze following you with a mixture of concern and affection. “Of course I do. How could I not?” He replies, his voice earnest and warm.
You shrug off your jacket, and James’s gaze quickly settles on your tight black dress. The silky fabric clings to your figure and moves fluidly as you shift. James feels like he’s going to pass out from the sight—you look incredible, and he’s painfully aware that you’ve dressed up for another man.
He swallows hard, attempting to keep his voice steady. “So, how was the date?” He finally asks, his eyes searching yours for any sign of what you might say next.
You feel a warmth rise to your cheeks, the slight embarrassment making you smile softly. “What gave it away—the dress or the girls?” you ask, your fingers lightly brushing the fabric of your dress as if to acknowledge it.
“The girls,” he admits, a small chuckle escaping him as he glances over at the baby monitor to check on his son. “But the dress would’ve been a dead giveaway if they hadn’t.”
You laugh, the sound light and teasing as you catch his gaze. “They're awful at keeping secrets, aren’t they?”
“Was your date supposed to be a secret from me?” He asks, making his way to the couch with a curious look. The cushions sink slightly as he sits down, and you follow suit, settling in beside him.
“No, it wasn’t,” you say, surprised, turning to face James with wide, sincere eyes. “But I wasn’t exactly excited about it, either.”
He leans back, eyebrows furrowed, “Why not?”
You take a deep breath, your fingers nervously tracing the hem of your skirt. “ I don’t know,” you admit, voice softening as you look away. “I’ve never been on a blind date before, so I didn’t want to get my hopes up. And I guess... I’m glad I didn’t, in the end.”
James watches you closely, his eyes filled with curiosity. He’s trying not to appear too eager to learn about this date of yours. “Why’s that? Didn’t go well?”
Tears well up in your eyes, and you quickly blink them away, hoping James doesn’t notice. But he does. “I just... I don’t know how to find someone,” you admit, your voice shaking slightly. “And it’s so discouraging that my friends set me up with a guy who’s completely wrong for me—well, except for his looks.”
James opens his mouth to ask what the guy looked like but holds back, sensing that this isn’t the moment.
“What does that say about my dating life?” You continue, a tear slipping down your cheek. “If my best friends don’t even know what I like in a guy?” You sniffle, your fingers brushing absentmindedly over your lips as you stare down at Henry’s toys scattered across the floor.. “I think I need to put myself out there more. Go on as many dates as possible. I need to meet someone.”
James feels like he’s going to be sick. He’s floundering for a way to tell you that, no, you absolutely shouldn’t. But how can he say that?
He hesitates, searching for the right words. “Is there a rush? To find someone, I mean.”
You shrug, your gaze still fixed on the floor. “I know we’re both young, but I feel like if I don’t find someone now, it’ll only get harder down the line.”
“Oh.” He responds softly, the weight of your words hanging in the air.
A heavy silence settles between you, both lost in your thoughts, until you break it with a shaky voice. “Is there something wrong with me?”
James snaps his head up, startled. “What? No! Why would you even think that?” He asks, incredulous, his tone laced with concern.
“I’ve been asked out three times in my life,” you say quietly, your voice trembling. “And two of those were back in school. Is there something wrong with me?” Finally, you turn to look at him, your eyes glistening with unshed tears clinging to your lashes.
“Darling, no,” James insists, his voice filled with genuine concern as he scoots closer to you on the couch. He wraps his arm around you, pulling you into a comforting embrace. “You’re perfect.”
You sniffle, managing a small, sad smile. “Don’t lie to me, Jamie,” you say, trying to keep it light, but he can hear the trace of hurt beneath your words.
“I would never,” he murmurs, placing a tender kiss on your head as you settle back into his chest. The steady rhythm of his heartbeat soothes you. “You're everything anyone could ever want—an absolute dream girl.”
“Stop it.” You whisper half-heartedly, though a part of you wants to believe him.
“I'm serious,” he insists, his voice firm yet gentle. “Whoever you end up with will be incredibly lucky.”
A comfortable silence falls between you, the room filled only with the soft sounds of your breathing.
“I’ll help you look for dates, if you want.” He offers suddenly, the words slipping out before he can stop them. Regret washes over him immediately; he wishes he could take them back. The mere thought of you on a date with another guy twists his stomach into knots, but actually helping you choose someone else? Brutal.
You tilt your head to press a kiss gently to his jaw. Your voice is a soft whisper, filled with gratitude, “Thank you, Jamie.”
He doesn’t know how much longer he can do this.
#dad!james potter x bsf!reader#dad!james and bsf!reader universe#dad!james potter x reader#james potter blurb#james potter fluff#james potter hc#james potter imagine#james potter headcanon#james potter fic#james potter oneshot#james potter fanfiction#james potter x reader#james potter#james potter x fem!reader#james potter x y/n#james potter x you#james potter baby blurb#the marauders era#the marauders#james potter drabble#harry potter
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the taste of iron
(buddie) (2.3k words) (8x01 alternate ending) so i made a joke the other day about what would have happened if buck hadn't pushed gerrard out of the way and then i kept thinking about it and then it wasn't a joke anymore and now we're here content warning: minor character death (but like. it's gerrard) (also blood related to said death)
Gerrard is so fucking loud. The vitriol, the bigotry, that’s what makes Buck angry, but it’s the volume that sets his teeth on edge. How it isn’t driving the rest of them insane, he’ll never understand.
The more he berates, the louder he gets. The construction, just feet away, adds to the cacophony. Buck can feel his eardrums vibrating with every spit-punctuated syllable that flies from Gerrard’s mouth. He needs it to stop, he needs it to—
All at once, three things happen. Gerrard’s hand comes up, finger pointed accusingly at the center of his chest. Buck takes an instinctive step back and stumbles, just enough to throw him off balance. The sound of the saw changes.
The split second it takes for Buck to steady himself is a split second too long. The saw blade flies across the room and embeds itself in the engine, but not before slicing deep into the tissue of Gerrard’s throat. Arterial blood sprays itself across Buck’s face. For a moment, everything goes quiet. Then, it descends into chaos.
Distantly, Buck hears someone shout his name. A hand grabs his shoulder and—
Firefighter needs help, I repeat—
—spins him around.
“Buck!” It’s Eddie’s voice, but Eddie—
Are you hurt?
—Eddie’s hands are on him, on his face, on his chest. They come away red and slick with blood.
“You’re okay, Buck, look at me, you’re okay.”
Go! Go, go, go go!
Buck blinks. Swallows. He tastes—
Three minutes away, we’re so close.
Eddie’s hands find his face again. “Look at me,” he says, as if Buck could ever look away. “I need you to breathe.”
I need you to hang—I need you to hang on.
Buck takes a breath, then another. There’s blood on his face. Eddie’s hands are on his face. Eddie’s hands are covered in blood. It’s not Eddie’s blood. It’s not Eddie’s blood.
There’s a siren, but Eddie’s not in the engine. Eddie’s in front of him, still standing. Eddie—
“Just like that, there you go. With me. In… and out…” His voice is calm, steady, unlabored.
“You’re—” Buck croaks.
Eddie’s eyes are wide and brown and focused. “I’m right here, Buck, keep breathing with me.”
His hand rises of its own accord and finds Eddie’s shoulder. The fabric of his t-shirt is dry and undamaged. Eddie’s brows draw together and a moment later realization seems to dawn.
“I’m okay, Buck,” he says, painfully quiet. “I’m not hurt.”
All at once, the tension that’s been keeping him upright goes. He stumbles, and without Eddie’s steadying grip, he’d probably fall. Buck blinks a few times, and the blurry world around him and Eddie comes back into focus.
Eddie’s turned him away from the engine bay, away from what must be an ocean of blood behind him. Everything he can see looks normal, but it’s unnaturally quiet. Buck lets out a shaky breath.
“Fuck,” he whispers, and it’s like shattering glass the way it breaks the silence.
Eddie’s face relaxes a fraction. “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.”
Buck lets Eddie pull him toward the locker room and guide him down onto the bench. He’s gentle, like Buck might break if he presses just a little bit too hard. He pulls at Buck’s shirt until it comes untucked, then carefully peels it off of him, leaving shivering gooseflesh in his wake.
“I’ll be right back,” Eddie says, “I promise.”
Buck nods numbly.
Eddie slips into the bathroom, and a moment later Buck hears the sound of running water. He comes back a few seconds later with clean hands and a damp towel.
“Okay,” he says quietly. He kneels and brings the towel to Buck’s cheek. It’s warm; Eddie must’ve waited for the water to heat before wetting it.
With one hand, Eddie drags the towel in soft, short strokes across Buck’s skin. The other cups the back of his head, steadying him. Buck’s eyes flutter closed, and Eddie takes the opportunity to carefully wipe at the blood that flecks his eyelids.
Finally, Buck hears the towel drop wetly to the floor and opens his eyes.
“With me?” Eddie asks. His eyes bore into Buck’s.
“Yeah,” he rasps.
Eddie squeezes his knee and stands. “Good,” he says, turning away just long enough to fish a sweatshirt from his locker and hand it to Buck.
“Thanks.” Buck pulls the sweatshirt on and is immediately enveloped by the smell of Eddie’s laundry detergent. It settles a little more of the anxiety that’s dug itself deep into his stomach.
Eddie settles next to him on the bench and brushes their shoulders together. “You want to talk about it?”
Buck shakes his head. He doesn’t. But—
“Is he dead?”
In his peripherals, Buck sees Eddie frown. “Probably,” he says after a long moment.
“Oh.” Buck feels less about that than he thought he might. He’s neither sad nor relieved, though he suspects the apathy will fade with the shock. “Can we go home?”
Eddie huffs a soft breath that might’ve been a laugh on another day. “Yeah. Pretty sure the 118’s not going back into service until B shift gets here.”
“Who’s going to deal with…” Buck trails off.
“Not us,” Eddie says decisively. He stands and grabs both of their bags from the lockers. “Come on, I’ll drive.”
“You hate driving,” Buck says quietly.
The corner of Eddie’s mouth ticks up. “Which is why I owe you more rides than you’ll ever cash in on.”
Buck surprises himself with something close to a laugh. “Yeah, okay,” he says.
Eddie all but manhandles him into the passenger seat of the truck, lingering just a moment longer than strictly necessary, then jogs over to the driver’s side. He turns the key in the ignition and fiddles with the radio until it lands on a station playing something old and soft.
As far as Buck can tell, it’s not a song he’s heard before, but it’s warm and comfortable all the same. He relaxes into his seat and pulls the sleeves of Eddie’s sweatshirt over his knuckles. It’s loose on him, unlike the majority of Eddie’s clothing, and Buck wonders if he bought it with a day like this in mind.
Eddie taps his fingers on the wheel as he drives and glances over at Buck every time they hit a red light. He’s quiet, though, and Buck is too, grateful for the chance to gather himself in the near silence. By the time they pull into Eddie’s driveway, Buck’s starting to feel mostly like a person again.
He follows Eddie inside, and it’d probably feel like any other day if he wasn’t still wearing his uniform pants and boots.
“I’m just gonna…” Buck says, nodding toward Eddie’s bedroom as he toes out of his shoes.
Eddie steps around him and squeezes his elbow. “I’ll be in the kitchen,” he says, but it feels a little more like, ‘take all the time you need, I’ll still be here’.
Buck’s had a drawer at Eddie’s almost as long as he’s known him. He bypasses that drawer and goes straight for the one that houses Eddie’s most comfortable and threadbare pajamas. He changes into a pair of soft cutoffs, and with his uniform sheds the last of the tension in his shoulders.
He wanders into the kitchen and finds Eddie whisking eggs in a mixing bowl. Wordlessly, Buck sets the table and pours two glasses of orange juice. When he’s done, he sits, knowing exactly what Eddie will say if he offers to help with the food.
A few minutes later, Eddie carries two plates to the table. Breakfast is simple, just scrambled eggs and toast, but Eddie’s gotten good at this; the eggs are beautifully fluffy and the toast is a perfect golden brown.
“Hang on a sec,” Eddie says.
He goes over to the fridge and returns with a new, unopened jar of blueberry preserves, the kind you can only get at the farmer’s market. Buck swallows thickly, suddenly aware of just how many words are caught in his throat.
“Thanks,” he says, the only one of them he thinks will come out painlessly.
Eddie ghosts his hand along Buck’s shoulder then sits in the chair closest to his.
“Eat,” he says softly, and it’s only then that Buck realizes he hasn’t even picked up his fork.
Buck read somewhere, once, that the physical act of chewing was enough to meaningfully lower cortisol levels. He’s not actually sure if it’s true, but sitting here with Eddie, he thinks it might be. It makes sense – you don’t stop to eat until the danger has passed. You eat when you feel safe. Buck feels safe. He spreads blueberry preserves on his toast and eats.
When he’s done, Eddie grabs both of their plates and drops them in the sink. He returns to his chair.
“Do you want to talk or try to get some rest?” he asks after a long moment.
Rest sounds really good, actually, but—“I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep,” Buck admits.
“We can watch a movie,” Eddie says, offering him an out.
Buck smiles half-heartedly. “Not sure I can do that, either,” he says.
“Then tell me,” Eddie says, voice full of all the concern he hasn’t expressed yet.
“I’m not sure what to say,” Buck says, finding it to be true as soon as it leaves his mouth.
Eddie looks conflicted for a second, but then his expression steels. “When I got shot. That’s what it reminded you of, right?”
There’s a certain relief in not having to voice it himself. Buck nods.
“Okay,” Eddie says gently.
“For—for a second I wasn’t in the station anymore. It was—I know you don’t really remember anything about that day.” Buck shrugs helplessly.
“I do,” Eddie offers. “Not most of it, I mean, but…” Eddie lifts his hand to Buck’s face and brushes a thumb along the curve of his cheek.
Something Buck doesn’t have a name for clenches in his stomach.
“I have this picture of you in my head; I was never quite sure whether or not I dreamed it.”
Buck’s breath catches in his chest.
“Guess not,” Eddie says ruefully, shaking his head.
“What, um—what do you—” Buck presses his lips together as the rest of the question refuses to form in his mouth.
Eddie sighs. “We never really talked about this, did we?”
Buck frowns. “We did,” he says.
Eddie shakes his head. “We talked about me, but you were there, too.”
“I didn’t get shot, Eddie.”
“And I didn’t get struck by lightning.”
Buck looks down at his hands and realizes they’re shaking.
“I know what it feels like to watch you die, Buck,” Eddie says seriously. “And you know how it feels to be covered in my blood.”
“I know how it tastes,” Buck corrects quietly. He glances up in time to see the stricken expression on Eddie’s face.
“What?” he breathes.
“It was the only thing I could taste for weeks.” Eddie’s hands find his. “And then today, I tasted it again.”
“Buck,” Eddie says roughly. Buck’s always liked the way his name sounds on Eddie’s lips. He says it like it means something.
All at once, Buck realizes that he’s been waiting years for permission to talk about this, permission Eddie’s finally given him, and it all comes pouring out.
“I thought you were gonna die, Eds. I—I thought I was going to have the taste of your blood in my mouth for the rest of my life. And I—god, I blamed myself for—for not seeing it coming, or getting to you faster.”
Eddie’s hands tighten around his. “You got there fast enough. You saved me,” he says.
Buck laughs softly. “I know. In my head I know that, but—but it never feels like it.”
“Still?” Eddie asks.
In lieu of a response, Buck takes one of Eddie’s hands in his own and presses his fingers to the pulse point in his wrist. His heart beats strong and steady. Buck closes his eyes.
“I’m sorry,” Eddie says.
He blinks them back open. His brow furrows. “For what?”
Eddie’s lips twist painfully. “We should have talked about this a long time ago. I should’ve asked.”
Buck shakes his head. “That’s not on you.”
“I think it might be,” Eddie says.
“You got shot,” Buck says. “You’re allowed to avoid the subject.”
Eddie huffs a soft breath. “I think…” he trails off.
Buck waits, counting every beat of Eddie’s pulse against his fingertips.
“I think I was afraid that if we talked about it, I’d remember.”
“And you didn’t want to,” Buck says. “I get that.”
“It’s all so blurry,” Eddie says, “but I remember the way it hurt. I remember being afraid. But I also—there was a moment, somewhere in all that, when I wasn’t afraid anymore.”
Buck bites his lip and nods.
“And…” Eddie’s jaw tightens for a moment. “And when I think about that, I—that’s when I see you.”
Buck takes a sharp, aching breath.
Eddie watches him for a long moment until something minute shifts in his expression. “Oh,” he says softly.
“What?” Buck asks.
Eddie shakes his head. “I just—I remembered something else.”
“Do you want to…”
“I think I’m gonna need a minute with this one,” Eddie says. “But I’ll tell you. I promise.”
“You don’t have to,” Buck says.
The corner of Eddie’s mouth ticks up into a small smile. “I know.”
“Okay,” Buck says softly. He holds Eddie’s gaze for several seconds, but nothing in it scares him. It’s Eddie, warm, perceptive and sure. “I—I think I might be able to sleep.”
“Good,” Eddie says. He stands, pulling Buck up with him. “Come on.”
And just as he has every other time Eddie’s asked him to, Buck follows.
#buddie fic#buddiefic#buddie#911#911 spoilers#fic#911fic#911 fic#this is such a bad time to post but oh well lmao#i am nothing if not impatient#anyway if you can't tell i never got over season 4 <3#abbie writes
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TWISTED TEA PARTY — WRIOTHESLEY
⋆。˚ ❀ summary: in which you get drunk during a tea party with neuvillette and wriothesley comes to pick you up. ⋆。˚ ❀ contents: fluff, established relationship, fem!reader, drunk reader, bff neuvi is my fav, reader gets called princess bc wrio is such a doting bf who would treat u like princess <3 ⋆。˚ ❀ wc: 0.9k+ ⋆。˚ ❀ a/n: mmm i love me some twisted tea but the one neuvi and reader are drinking is 10x stronger than that juice for sure c:< is it just me or would neuvi be the best bff ever?? anyway pls enjoy some wrio fluff!
Neuvillette didn’t take you for a lightweight.
That’s why, during a late night tea party when you suggested ditching the tea for some alcoholic beverages instead, he agreed.
Unfortunately for Wriothesley, Neuvillette was sorely mistaken.
Just three cups of “tea” later and Neuvillette was forced to summon Wriothesley from the Fortress of Meropide where he was sleeping to come and collect his intoxicated girlfriend.
“Can I touch your horns Neuvillette?” you cooed, reaching your hand out as Neuvillette backed away.
He glanced at the door, wondering how long it would take Wriothesley to appear. You were a dear friend of his, but Neuvillette would rather sleep than be a babysitter. That was your significant other’s job, after all.
“I would prefer if you did not,” he said politely, gently pushing your grabby hands out of the way.
You frowned, eye growing watery at the rejection. In order to soothe your sadness, you poured yourself another cup of alcoholic tea and began to chug it.
“That is quite enough!” Neuvillette exclaimed, attempting to take the cup from your hands. He internally groaned when you sprang up from your seat and dodged his hands, clutching onto your drink as if it was your lifeline. You slurped the beverage in an exaggerated fashion, giggling at the look of exasperation on his face.
He would never listen to one of your suggestions again. Ever.
Thankfully for him, it didn’t take too long for Wriothesley to come waltzing in through the door, eyes surveying the room until they landed on you.
You cheered at the sight of your boyfriend, running over to him in an instant. Neuvillette let out a sigh of relief when he realized he would be free for the rest of the night.
“You’re here,” said Neuvillette, perhaps almost too cheerily. “I shall clean up. You, just take her and go. Please.”
Wriothesley chuckled, smoothing your hair down as you burrowed your face into the crook of his nice. “I take it she got a little drunk?”
“Just a little,” Neuvillette echoed dryly. “By her own suggestion, might I add.”
“That little troublemaker,” Wriothesley said, his words scolding but his tone affectionate as he kissed the top of your head. “Thanks for calling me.”
“You’re welcome.” Neuvillette nodded, all but ushering the pair out of his office. “Now, goodnight and good luck.”
Once Neuvillette closed the door on them, he wiped his brow and exhaled.
Finally, he was alone.
⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪
Just outside the office, you and Wriothesley began walking through the streets of Fontaine to your home in the Fortress of Meropide.
Though, Wriothesley thought, calling it walking was a bit generous. It was more of you stumbling along and trying not to trip with Wriothesley guiding you gently.
“Wow,” you mumbled, your cheek smooshed against his muscular arm as you peered up at him. “You smell s’good. And your arm is big and strong. Reminds me of my boyfriend.”
Wriothesley barked out a laugh. “Is that so?”
“Mhm.”
“And who is your boyfriend, exactly?”
“Wriothesley,” you said proudly, grinning at him as you shot him a thumbs up. “Also known as my baby, sweetheart, honey bunny, schnookums wookums bubblykins.”
He blinked. “You do not call me that.”
“In my head!” you argued.
Wriothesley laughed at your ridiculous pet names but relented. “I like it. It’s endearing.”
You nodded resolutely before easily getting distracted once more. “Can I touch your hair? It looks like you have wolf ears.” You gasped, releasing him in and instant and stumbling back. Alarmed, Wriothesley reached out to steady you. “Are you a…werewolf?”
“No, that’s just my hair.”
He leaned forward and let you place your hand on his head, feeling the soft strands between your fingers. Your mouth opened into a small ‘o’.
“See, it’s hair,” stated Wriothesley. “Not wolf ears.”
“Your hair is so soft,”you cooed, twirling it around your pointer finger. “Can I take one?”
Wriothesley let out of a laugh of surprise. “As in a strand of hair?”
You nodded excitedly.
He rubbing his forehead in confusion but agreed nonetheless. “I’ll give you one when we get home.”
With wide eyes, you looked at him as if he were a stranger at a tavern trying to make a pass at you. You backed away from him cautiously.
“We’re going to your place?” you questioned.
“Our place.”
“Wow.” When the shock wore off you began to giggle to yourself. “Good job, me!”
Wriothesley laughed, a deep sound coming straight from his chest. You found yourself gravitating back towards him and planting your face between his two pectoral muscles.
“What am I going to do with you?” chided Wriothesley, voice filled with amusement as he looked down at you face-planted on his chest.
“Nothing,” you murmured, your voice heavily muffled as you wrapped your arms around him to get even closer. “We can just stay like this.”
He smile and leaned his cheek on the top of your head, allowing you to savor the moments of closeness. Drunk on his scent and the drinks you had with Neuvillette, you felt the buzz in your head growing heavy.
You yawned, pulling away slowly as you rubbed your eyes. “I’m sleepy, schnookums wookums bubblykins.”
“Let’s get you home then, princess,” said Wriothesley, taking you by the hand and gently tugging you along in the right direction.
You looked at him gratefully, giving his hand a squeeze. “Can you tell my boyfriend he’s the best in the world?”
Wriothesley grinned as he planted a kiss on your forehead. “I’ll make sure to let him know.”
#wriothesley x reader#genshin x reader#genshin impact x reader#wriothesley x you#wriothesley x y/n#genshin x you#wriothesley#genshin impact#genshin imagines#genshin fluff#genshin fanfic#wriothesley fluff
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Pretty Privilege [Alhaitham x reader]
A/N: not Alhaitham managing to sneak his way into my drafts for a third time, reader is from Kshahrewar, lovesick!Alhaitham (Alhaitham's a jerk to everyone but you, might be ooc), lowkey could connect to my other Alhaitham fics
Warnings: drinking mentioned but not alcohol, reader gets a little emotional if you squint (not used to affection)
──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────
Your boyfriend Alhaitham was... something else. You were new to the whole relationship thing, so adjusting to the dating life was something you had to get used to. What you still couldn't fathom were the "perks" Alhaitham has granted you, as his partner.
"Alhaitham, what is this?"
His roommate Kaveh stood with his arms crossed, looking at the scene before him: You were sitting on the couch, meticulously making your model of your project due soon. It was clear from your eyes that sleep wanted to overtake you, but of course you couldn't give in. But the worst part was Alhaitham, who was sitting next to you- though it was more like behind you by the way he rested his chin on your shoulder.
Kaveh is all for supporting your relationship, and on a normal day he'd treat you guys like friends (he'd never say that to Alhaitham). But in this situation, there was something particular irritating.
"...what do you mean." Alhaitham asks in a bored manner.
"It is almost midnight and you're still up."
"So?"
"So, you're usually asleep by at least two hours ago."
"And?"
"...You- You'd usually complain about something like this! How many times have you bashed me for working on my projects this late, and now you're here with (y/n) staying up! Nothing against you (y/n), you know I'd understand." Kaveh adds in the last part quickly, seeing as his complaint might seem directed towards the wrong person.
"All good." You reply robotically, yawning right after.
"Remember what you said a few weeks ago about the lows of Kshahrewar? I sure hope you have something to explain that and the spot you're in right now, particularly taking back what you said."
"Mhm, Kshahrewar is the best darshan..." Alhaitham mumbles halfheartedly in a monotone voice, almost nuzzling his head closer into your neck.
"...Somehow I don't feel satisfied with that." Kaveh sighs, arms loosening from their crossed position. It was clear that the Scribe didn't actually mean it, or at least was occupied with other things that made his answer seem insincere. The architect leaves, not finding any solution to the issue.
However, the obvious bias doesn't end here. Something similar happened the next week, except the victim wasn't Kaveh (for once). You were waiting in line at a restaurant near the Akademiya.
It sure gets busy during lunch time... You think. And even busier because of the special gift they were giving away…
"(Y/n)." A familiar voice calls to you. You look up from your daze and realize it's your boyfriend.
"Alhaitham, what are you doing here?" Suddenly, you start to feel pairs of eyes drift to your conversation.
"More like what are you doing here." He replies sharply. You internally giggle at your boyfriend's sassiness, but don't fault him because there is an abnormally long line this time.
"Well... they're giving away a free TCG card with their new sandwich." You say shyly. You feel a sigh coming from him for lining up for a little thing, but...
"Why don't you just ask the owner? I know him." He replies.
"...What do you mean, ask the owner? You mean just go up to the front?" You ask.
"Yes."
"-Alhaitham. I can't just do that, I can't cut in line." You stammer. You can't believe your boyfriend would actually condone this type of behaviour. He shrugs and walks off. You huff, thinking how sometimes you can't read him.
A few minutes later, you see him walk back with... a sandwich and TCG card in hand.
"Alhaitham." You cross your arms and look right at him. However, of course it doesn't intimidate him, as he just stares right back with the same deadpan eyes.
"Yes?"
You walk out of line, quickly pushing him until you both reach a less crowded area. Because you're behind him trying to shove him by his stupidly large torso, he secretly smiles at how cute you are, trying to take control of the situation and how you puff your cheeks out because of it.
"Alhaitham, you did not just go to the front and ask for the sandwich." You say, starting to scold him.
"I got the card too." He says, waving it. You tsk, snatching the sandwich and card out of his hand. He snorts at your slight frustration in his literalness.
"Alhaitham, you didn't have to. I could have waited in line like a normal person." You pout, trying to make him see the bad sides of his actions.
"The owner would have kept one for me anyway. And I wouldn't let you stand outside for so long. Especially with how heavy your bag is- don’t Kshahrewar students carry bricks?" He explains, sitting down on the stone.
"That's not really the problem..." You say, even though that last part was quite true. "Even though the owner kept one aside, the people in line who saw that would have felt really mad at you for cutting."
"Why should I care about what they think?"
"Alhaitham!" Sometimes you hate how quick and blunt his responses are. You sigh again. By now you already knew about your boyfriend's habits and how straightforward he thinks- and most of the time he is right. At least you know he had good intentions.
"Don't do it again, please?" You say, sitting and putting your hands on his chest. "At least not without asking me first."
"Okay, fine." He's willing to make compromises, especially when you look at him so dearly. You eat your sandwich in peace, giving Alhaitham a few bites here and there, and talk about things that happened today.
Buuttttt, it still doesn't end there. A couple months later, the semester ends and you decide to go out and have drinks with your friends. Alhaitham also mentioned he was going to be there with his friends, but he'd be at another table. It's a win-win, plus it's good to have him there for safety.
"And then, he just brushed everyone off! So I don't think I'd ever have a chance with him." Your friend says sadly.
"I don't think anyone has a chance with him." Another chimes in. You and your friends laugh at the wittiness, happy to be enjoying each others presence after a long semester of working and studying.
"I've seen him carry an anemo vision." You say from passing by him a few times.
"I've seen that too!" Your friend remarks, and the rest nod along. "He's probably very strong."
"I hope you guys have been enjoying your night!" A waiter says as he comes to the table. "Here are your bills."
The waiter hands your friends their bills, but doesn't hand you one.
"Excuse me! You didn't give me mine." You say quickly, before he leaves again.
"Oh! Your boyfriend has already paid for yours." The waiter says, pointing to his table, then heading off. Your friends coo at how sweet you guys were, and suddenly you have a sense of deja vu. After your friends pay their bills for the night, you immediately walk over to Alhaitham's table.
"Alhaitham."
"Yes?" Once again, you're hating how deadpan he sounds when you know he knows what you're about to say.
"You didn't have to."
"I did." You frown again.
"I'll be outside, saying bye to my friends." You say after sighing. Alhaitham nods, and his friends can only smile when they see another occurrence of him spoiling you.
"Why is it that (y/n) gets much better treatment from Alhaitham, yet also doesn't approve of it?" It's Kaveh's turn to pout now.
"I think it's more of 'acceptance' for them, and let's be honest I'd have a hard time accepting kindness from Alhaitham." Cyno says matter-of-factly. Tighnari's ears perk up at Cyno's blunt yet witty remark, while Kaveh can only grumble in agreement. Alhaitham, surprisingly has a small smirk on his face despite the little jab from Cyno. Kaveh's frown deepens.
"I need another drink." Kaveh crosses his arms. Tighnari and Cyno look at each other confused.
Alhaitham abruptly bids his goodbyes, walking off with a satisfied smile. He joins you and catches up, hearing that you've just said goodbye to your friends as well. After a few minutes of walking, Alhaitham breaks the silence.
"The boys think I've been treating you a lot better than them." He says. You turn and look at your boyfriend, a little surprised that he's starting the conversation this time. Usually when you have time alone, you're the one who starts talking. But you close your eyes and smile, taking this as a sign that he's had a good time- even if he won't admit it.
"It's because you do." You say. You’re surprised he brought this up. You're aware of Alhaitham spoiling you since your relationship started, and it has pushed you into a realm of affection you didn't know of. It's still hard to grasp for you, since it is your first relationship, and he makes you happy.
"Is there a problem with it?" He asks.
"...no." You say shyly. The question he asks has a bit more of a unsure 'no' for an answer than you say, but Alhaitham seems to catch on. "It's just hard to get used to."
"Hard to get used to? You deserve it though." Alhaitham says. And you almost want to cry the way you know he's being genuine, but the words feel foreign to you. He senses your emotions, and brings you to a stop, just a few steps away from his house.
"Alhaitham..." You can barely croak out a sentence. He gives you a soft kiss on your forehead, running his fingers near the spot, soothing you.
"And besides, what they don't know is that I do treat everyone fairly. Including you." He says. You cock your head in confusion. His statement sounds normal, but you can't help but think he means otherwise. "Remember your overdue library book? I did hold you accountable that time."
You quirk your head in confusion. You do remember that, and how panicked you were when you realized after he pointed it out. But you were certain he did not hold you accountable, which was terrible especially with his role in the Akademiya now.
"No you didn't." You remark.
"I did. I told you to give me a kiss."
"Wh- a kiss is a romantic thing, not transactional! You mean to tell me that was conpensation?" You sputter in disbelief. He nods, and you can't stay mad to him. "Alhaitham, you're so mushy-"
"I agree. Add insufferable to that as well." A voice interrupts. Your head snaps to the source, which is of course a mopey looking Kaveh. "Also remind me next time, to walk twenty meters behind you guys instead, when walking home."
You open your mouth to say something, but end up staying silent when you watch Kaveh drag himself inside your shared home. You frown, and Alhaitham looks at you, knowing what you're thinking- the same you've thought several times by now.
"Do not." He says abruptly.
"I will buy Kaveh a cake." You say, not paying attention to your boyfriend. You were aware of their bickering, but a lot of times you can’t help but feel bad for Kaveh. Since you’re in the mix now, you feel partially responsible for the privilege you get from Alhaitham- even on his good side, it’s hard to watch others get ignored by him.
"No."
"And a coffee."
"No."
"Yes." You childishly protest against your boyfriend’s lack of empathy (which he does on purpose) towards who’s supposed to be, his best friend. “Tomorrow I will go buy him a cake and a coffee.”
“He can get his own cake and coffee.” He says sarcastically.
“Yes, but I’m sure it’ll make him much happier if he received it as a gift.” You explain.
“You don’t have to.” Alhaitham says, this time with a little bit of softness. You smile, recognizing his efforts to try and persuade you because you know he doesn’t understand why you care about these things. But this time, you won’t waver.
“But I will.” You retort, walking towards the entrance and grabbing the doorknob. “Besides, you said you hold me accountable, won’t you?”
Alhaitham smirks at your cheekiness as you sway your hips when you walk to leave him standing by himself, a satisfied look on your face after referencing the past conversation. He sighs and shakes his head, thinking of how bold you’ve become. He likes it.
“Of course I will.”
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Me: I love Diluc, he is my husband.
Also me: *writes 3 long ass finished fics on Alhaitham*
#genshin#genshin impact#genshin imagines#genshin fluff#genshin alhaitham#alhaitham#alhaitham x reader#alhaitham fluff#alhaitham oneshot
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