#i mentioned this to my dad & he genuinely thought i was lying

[doodler16]

I can't take Charlie as a protagonist seriously, especially after the Hell's Greatest Dad song. I was willing to forgive her constant naïveté and overall childish behavior till that episode.

I'm sorry, but do you really want me to take a woman in her early-mid twenties seriously when she's being fought over like she's a preteen child of the divorced parents? Anyone at this age would have died of embarrassment and immediately called this crap out. 

Theoretically, it could've worked if it was shown that she was playing along with Alastor in order to manipulate her father, but she seemed genuine in that song?? Like, girl, did you REALLY buy Alastor's crap? He only lived here for a couple of months, and you already act like he's a wise father figure to you?? Like why?? They didn't even interact properly in series prior besides maybe exchanging a couple of lines, idk. (Plz, don't bring up the pilot cause I didn't watch it, lol, so I have zero clue what their relationship was supposed to entail there. I only judge by what I've seen in the series.)

Daddy issues or not, but Charlie was severely infantilized by this song, and she's supposed to help redeem the sinners, which requires a lot of wisdom, maturity and compassion in order to guide them. And she has none of that.

What a waste.

Even more reasons to appreciate my goat, Mimzy. Thank god for her stepping in and interrupting the song. This is fandom once again doesn’t deserve Mimzy 😂.

That aside, there are families or relatives who do unironically fight over their adult child for whatever reason. I am open to Lucifer and Alastor fighting over Charlie, like you said Anon it could theoretically work.

I was going to briefly bring up Charlie and Alastor’s dynamic in the pilot how Alastor and Lucifer fighting could’ve worked but I won’t since you didn’t watch the pilot and don’t want me to bring it up 😅.

Hell’s Greatest Dad doesn’t work because like you mentioned Anon, Alastor barely interacts with Charlie and only interacts with her when it’s convenient for himself and the episode/plot. So, it is easy to tell that Alastor is not only lying (throughout majority of the song) but repeatedly trying to make himself look good any chance he gets.

I don’t know why some fans and stans thought Alastor was serious about him seeing Charlie as her daughter when he was just lying. I know Vivziepop loves pushing that since she had beef with Chalastor shippers ages ago. It is annoying seeing some fans actually use Alastor’s lie as a “gotcha” moment and a way to put down Chalastor shippers.

If Alastor did see Charlie as a daughter (in more twisted way), he would’ve consoled her in episode 7 but didn’t. Charlie would proceed to ramble while Alastor would roll his eyes.

I know Hell’s Greatest dad song is an extremely popular song as it’s the top of Amazon’s most viewed videos but it could’ve been cut. We didn’t an entire 2-3 minute song dedicated to the two men having a pissing contest while Charlie third wheels especially when the episode is supposed to be about Charlie and Lucifer. It easily could’ve slimmed down via dialogue. Or cut it out completely and save it for another episode.

[guess-my-next-obsession]

the alchemy | i. the return (joel’s pov)

pairing: no outbreak!dbf!joel miller x fem!reader

chapter rating: Mature [18+ only, minors dni, dbf/secret relationship, age gap (joel is 34, reader is 24), just joel pining in secret, mention of cheating (past relationship), one mention of joel fantasizing about a blowjob]

summary: joel takes us through his inner monologue the day of reader’s return.

wc: 1k

the masterlist

She was back.

The woman who’d starred in every depraved fantasy I’d had since the day I met her had made her return to Austin, this time to stay.

I’d been mentally preparing for our reunion for weeks now, ever since her father let the news slip. I told myself that this time I’d finally be done with my little crush on the woman nearly a decade younger than me, but I knew how this story went.

Every time she came home to visit during her breaks from school, I told myself the exact same bullshit. And every time I came face to face with her, it all went to hell again. All she had to do was walk into a room, and I was back to secretly pining over her like a lovesick boy.

This time was no different.

When her and her dad pulled into the restaurant parking lot, I was already sweating. When she stepped out in those denim cutoffs, I’d melted completely.

She was the type of beautiful that required no frills to make a man fall to his knees. She could wear a burlap sack and I’d have no choice but to believe she was nothing less than a goddess.

I tried not to let my tongue wag too much as she walked over to Sarah, hugging her tight and complimenting her on her new braids. Her dad offered me a bit of distraction as he complained about needing to change out the brake pads on his truck, but even that wasn’t enough to tear my eyes away from her. From the woman I knew he’d never approve of me being with.

I couldn’t say I’d do any different if it was my own daughter in question.

When her eyes met mine, I felt the need to justify my ogling with a greeting.

“Welcome home,” I said, instead of what I longed to say—things that would’ve earned me a punch in the gut from her dad.

She mumbled a thanks in response, but seemed entirely disinterested in any further conversation with me. So I let it end there as we walked into the mexican spot that was apparently her favorite, according to her dad. I made a mental note of this new information. For what reason, I had no clue. It wasn’t like I’d ever be taking her out.

She avoided me at all costs throughout dinner, leaving me with no choice but to coax her into paying me some attention by asking her if she was still interested in babysitting. It was a genuine enough question. Sarah did need someone to look after her over the summer, and the last babysitter just never managed to click with her the way that she had. But I’d be lying if I said that it was strictly business, my asking.

When she said yes, my heart all but leapt out of my chest with relief. If she had said no, I would’ve had no excuse to see her, no excuse to talk to her.

I watched with greedy eyes as she sipped her drink through a straw, her lips wrapping around the bit of plastic. I instinctively licked my lips as she pulled away, swiping her tongue over her lips to collect the bit of lime-flavored liquor that coated them.

God, that mouth.

I’d thought about it almost every night. Even when I was with Mia, my ex, it was her I imagined. Those plump lips wrapping around me, working me until I came. And as horrible as it was to say, I never felt guilty about the fantasy. Especially now, knowing that the entire time, Mia had been having her own fun on the side.

I couldn’t imagine that the girl in front of me would hurt anyone in that way, and that drew me towards her all the more. She was so kind, so good that it hurt. I hoped whoever she had been with in the past had treated her with the same sort of respect that I dreamed of giving her, but I knew all too well what it was like to be a twenty-something year old boy. They’d likely not even noticed the gem that they held in the palm of their hands.

At the end of dinner, she gave Sarah a thorough goodbye, promising to come over the next day for a swim. I thanked God that it was a weekend, that I’d be home to catch a glimpse of her.

When I stepped over to tell her goodnight, she blew me off completely. I tried not to let the rejection sting. I had no reason to feel slighted, to feel disappointed, but it cut through me nonetheless.

Her dad muttered an apology, saying that she was likely just tired from a long day of unpacking, and I let myself believe him. It was better than thinking that she wanted nothing to do with me.

Even if I knew it was true.

Why else would she have agreed to go out with Tommy last summer? And according to him, the date went well. He refrained from spilling all the details, but from what he let on, I could’ve only assumed it ended with her in his crumb-filled sheets. It took me weeks to get the image out of my head, to be able to look my brother in the eye again.

Maybe one of these days I’d ask her about it myself. I wouldn’t let on that I disapproved of the two of them being together, either. Instead, I’d play the role of a nosy older brother who simply just wanted to know whether his brother was treating her right, or if he was fucking things up like he so often liked to do when a good woman entered his life.

But truthfully, it didn’t matter what the two had going on. She could hate him or love him, I didn’t care.

My crush was here to stay.

Even if I had no chance in the world with her.

[codenamethebird]

In my last Hades ramblings, I was discussing in a broader sense how I'm hoping to see fragmenting of Melinoe's allies as Prometheus sways many of the mortals (or mortal adjacent) to his side. I mentioned Icarus very briefly in that mortal group because his dialogue in response to finding out Prometheus is their enemy is him being quite confused by that. Which I mentioned it mostly to highlight the trend of reactions from mortals basically all going "wait our favorite dude is fighting against us... huh", not because I genuinely thought Icarus would turn against Melinoe.

But I've ruminated on Icarus more, as well as got some more dialogue from him and about him in game, and found an interesting trend.

Icarus is a character on borrowed time. It comes up constantly (I recently got Circe's dialogue on it), that he's only allowed to fly freely as he does while the gates of Hades are open. Once they defeat Chronos, and everything goes back to "normal," he will be shoved back in the underworld, never to fly again.

Icarus' whole thing is that he was raised in a prison, was allowed to fly freely for a beautiful moment, before daring to fly a bit too high, and then went tumbling to his death. And then upon his death, he was constrained to a different prison. And in a more metaphorical sense, he's shackled to his shitty dad's legacy too.

Of course Icarus recognizes that if Chronos is defeated he'll be trapped again. That the skies he loves will be once more a faded memory, but chooses to fight for the gods anyway. To fight with Melinoe who he obviously cares a lot about. Which is why I never really considered him "betraying" her.

But hmm, idk. Like I said, I just got Circe's dialogue on him, so it's on the brain. But she basically goes "awww that boys so helpful. Shame he can't fly forever, but it hey, it is what it is, hehe." Just the casual acceptance of it all. And she's just one example of that sentiment. That of course he'll step back into his accepted place when this is all over, that he has to or he will suffer the consequences. Icarus has been fighting endlessly for the gods, but they don't even consider an exception or anything really. Mortals can not fly too close to the sun.

So, while Icarus has expressed otherwise, and I don't think he was lying, I do wonder if down the line, faced with the choice to follow the gods back into a prison this time he will never get to leave or soar once more in the sky he adores... which will he choose?

[ackermonie]

a perfect world pt.2

pt1

tags: @mor-pheus @nitimurinvetitumsposts @pompompompompompompom

content: shibuya incident, pregnant! reader, hurt/comfort but mostly hurt, angst, mentions of abortion, gojo wanting to be a dad in the future, reader hides pregnancy, mentions of megumi

it’s a bit chilly. you stand in the unusual silence of the square usually buzzing with life, especially on halloween night, positioned on a pedestrian bridge.

there is something pinning you in place. you feel heavy, never enough oxygen in your lungs. you have a few minutes before you need to meet with your team-mates, so this is the last bit of peace you will get for a while.

you try to ignore the burden lying within you. guilts seeps in your brain at the thought that it is a burden, because fuck, you’re never the person to call a child, let alone the product of you and satoru’s love, a burden.

but right now? when you’re about to lay your life in a fight you don’t even know you’ll survive?

a sense of protection overtakes you, surging panic through your very veins, urging you to just fucking flee. you don’t have a good feeling about this mission.

you lowkey hoped that he’d find you before it all goes down. you didnt have the time to meet after your big revelation, only having time to throw in a couple of “stay safe”s through text, but at a time like this, when everyone inside the veil is asking for the gojo satoru, you doubted he’d have time for you.

however, a gust of wind proves you wrong. you don’t move, looking over the railing still as the atmosphere buzzes with the pure powerful energy that is your satoru.

your heart drops when first thing he does is wrap his arms around you from behind, a hand settling on your belly.

“pissing all by yourself, handsome?”

you genuinely can’t help the giggle pulled out of you, no matter how short-lived it is. he rests his chin on the top of your head, and you tilt your gaze down to settle on the instinctive hand resting protectively where a whole new life is being created. you hesitantly put your hand on top of his, a shaky breath escaping your lips at your first attempt of acknowledging the slightest of bumps under your hands.

“is this your post?” satoru asks quietly.

“no,” you intertwine your fingers with his. the sadness in your bone at a loss that is yet to happen heavies you some more. this embryo's story is bound to end before it even begins. “i’m with nanami and megumi outside the veil.”

“i heard nanami’s bringing ino around for his grade 1 recommendation,” gojo builds a conversation. he lowers his head to your shoulder, turning his head to plant a sweet, lingering kiss on hour neck. “that’s bound to be a good watch party.”

“ino’s talented.” you reply, voice empty, mind elsewhere. “it’s about time.”

you two stay quiet for a few seconds, looking out on your comrades at a distance. the gnawing in your chest opens it up, convincing you that if satoru lets you go the world will cease to exist.

you grasp his right bicep with your left hand, pulling you both more into one another. he doesn’t move his hand from your belly, and you are almost convinced that he just fucking knows somehow. self-conscious, you turn around in his arms, allowing him to hold you to his chest instead.

your arms are tugged in between you two, and from another angle, it will look like satoru has engulfed your body whole into his.

“oh, my baby,” you can hear the smile in his voice while your eyes brim with tears. “we’ll be fine. quick in and out.”

you try to nod in his chest, but a sob involuntarily breaks out of your lips. he rocks you side to side silently, sighing in what sounds like absolute content to your ears.

you’re not crying because of the mission, you’re never like this.

everything is happening at once. you can’t even breathe properly unless his arms are around you.

“good thing you’re with megumi,” he rests his chin on the crown of your head again. “if that fucker decides to summon mahogara one more time—“

your sob breaks into laughter. you hit him on the chest.

satoru laughs along with you. “he’s so dramatic sometimes. i wonder who is he like.”

you look up at him, face red and tear-stained and all, with a deadpan that makes him want to kiss you silly. he continues laughing, and you realize that his blindfold hangs around his neck, allowing you to see just how big his smile is. dimples on display and eyes closed in absolute bliss. you want to grab him and run.

he grabs your cheeks endearingly, resting his forehead on yours. “I think we did a good job raising him, no?”

oh god.

more tears brim in your eyes as he tilts his head back to properly look at you. you attempt to smile as you nod, but the thoughts his previous statement triggered chokes you. you are, once again, reminded of what lies in the space between the two of you.

and by the look in his eyes, you know what he will say next will break you.

“good practice run. little fucker is at maximum difficulty.” he plants a kiss to your nose. “I never thought i'd be dad material, really. but having those kids around recently,” satoru pauses, wiping a thumb gently on your cheek. "seeing you with them, made me wonder how nice it'd be to have some of our own at some point."

“satoru,” your voice breaks, unable to control the sad expression on your face any longer. one of your hands holds his as he still cradles your cheeks.

"we just need to finish all of this." satoru smiles down at you. "make this world better for them. make it safe for them to grow without trouble."

your arms are suddenly thrown around his neck, and his own scoops you from the ground, pulling you as close as it is humanly possible. you hide your face in his neck, failing to conceal your sobs.

he chuckles a bit, but this time around, you can tell the heaviness that lies within. "come on, sweets. if i knew i'd make you this sad--"

you shake your head almost frantically. "n--no."

“you can cry to me all you want after we’re done,” he gives you a squeeze before he sets you down on the floor. he tilts your head up to him, wiping away your face with the material of his sleeves. “don’t get too shaken up before a fight now, okay?”

you nod almost childishly before he plants a sweet, lingering kiss to your forehead

“you have both megumi and nanami. you three will be just fine. i know you cant take care of each other and get the job done.”

“who’s gonna take care of you?” the look on your face shatter’s satoru’s heart. he still smiles, wiping his thumb under your eye.

“you will,” he grins. “i’ll come back right here, and you’ll take care of me just fine.”

=============================

i thhiinnnkkk im making more parts of this teheee

more?

[nica-my-beloved]

This is just my impression so far on the MCs of Ikemen Series. I have seen posts about Ikemen MC not having enough spite, dumb, damsel and distress etc etc....and to some point I do agree with it. Even I made a post about MCs being overly positive. But at the same time I feel like this is done on purpose from the writers' part.

Let's just say it, the MCs are not really that relatable even though they try to make it look like that. MCs in these games are very kind-hearted for no reason, overly positive and lack basic common sense. For example, take this scene from Harry's story event:

Harry did mention to her before this that he can detect if a person is lying or not when he makes eye-contact. In the scene mentioned above, a person with common sense can easily tell that Harry lost on purpose. But for some reason Kate thought he lost because she was able deceived him. It is only later that Harry told her and Kate looked genuinely surprised. I don't think Kate is dumb. But I feel like the writers think we players are not that smart enough to distinguish between Harry's lies and truth. It makes me laugh some times.

I just honestly feel like MCs are portrayed this way so that we players could understand the game and its characters better. Like Paimon from genshin, who repeats everything in baby terms so that we could understand what we have to do (even if her screechy noise is annoying). MCs here are played by us, so when male characters has a plan that they don't reveal, MCs try to find out what their plan is so that we could understand. That's it. MCs are here just simplify the story to make us understand the character's better. They'll only ask the male characters what's needed to know right now and not anything extra. If it where a realistic MCs, she would ask more logical questions like:

Is Victor also cursed?

If Crown consists of only 'cursed' people and Victor went around to search these people, are there any 'cursed' people out there who rejected his request?

More questions on their abilities like: Can Harry still detect lies if someone closes their eye? Can Elbert trigger sad memories if a person doesn't have a sad memory? etc etc...

But we don't see Kate asking these questions.

I feel like the reason why we feel sometimes frustrated when MCs act in a certain way is because these MCs are not at all realistic. I'll never believe that someone with common sense did not try to run away after watching a murder happen. I'll never believe that someone with common sense falling into easy traps. Like this one scene from Silvio's story where, Silvio's daddy visits Rhodolite because his lost son is found and he also wants to know if Rhodolite King is dead blah blah blah...you guys know that story (I assume). Emma has to choose the next King without Silvio's dad knowing and they wait for Sariel's call. A servant comes to Emma's room to call both her and Rio. This servant itself is sus because Emma clearly states that she hasn't seen that servant before. When I read this, I immediately knew it was red flag. But even so, Emma and Rio ignores the red flag and goes with the servant and what do you know? They get kidnapped. The scene was very predictable. But it's so frustrating because, realistically speaking I think normal people would feel a little bit suspicious about the person given the situation. Maybe even question the servant. That's why I'm saying...I do feel MCs are not realistic enough. I don't think anyone is overly-kindhearted to the point that they would accept insults from the male leads and be like "I'm going to prove myself to you!". Normal people would just be like "fuck off!" and won't listen to their insults. No one is so dumb it fall into easy traps and no normal person is like "I will work hard to get to know them better." Majority of the people are way smarter and way selfish (not in a bad way though!). Many people have attitude, not everyone are kind to strangers. That's why MCs are not realistic, so there is no use in comparing MC to your personality or your intelligence. They are just tools for explaining the story in a simplified way and moving the plot forward. Because like I said, if Emma and Rio didn't go with the servant and get kidnapped, Silvio's story wouldn't move forward.

That's all. This no hate, this is just how I felt after reading quite amount of stories both in-game and on tumblr. MC's don't have much background because the writers don't really put too much thought about their personality. MCs are basically last on their lists. They just make sure that she's an adult, working woman (doing some odd jobs like a flowershop lady or something, because I've never seen a CEO MC), and they are very kind for some reason. They don't have family (except for Emma), they don't have a story, they don't have anything that impacts their personality. At least it would have been nice to see why a MC is so kind-hearted would be nice. But otome games' main selling points are the male leads. The male leads falls for MC's purity in their dark world.

[pinazee]

Christmas Joy

One of my favorite christmas episodes they did!

I love Joy! Shes another one i wish had come back, partly because her and shawn didn’t really put a pin in it, but mostly because Fawne was a delight and fit right in! Like her energy was cute and snarky and infectious. I can totally picture her growing up with both of them (and i wish we had seen a flashback with her in it). Joy could easily have been abigail in season 4, in the sense of completing the love triangle. I think it would’ve added an extra layer to mr yin presents too if it had been a choice between gus’ sister and juliet. Could you imagine how gus would have reacted? And the level of trust he would have to give shawn to not go with him to save her?!? Oh it hurts my heart just to think about.

Sorry, i spiraled down a hypothetical again haha heres one of my favorite bits she does

I love this scene so much! And i love that joy is in hot pursuit haha and shawn is like a split second behind her.

Im very surprised henry let shawn believe in santa, especially since he wouldn’t even let him pretend to be a superhero. My headcanon is that shawn straight up refused to hear the truth so henry figured it would be easier to keep him in check if he thought santa was judging him at the end of the year.

Girl talk! I wish they had more scenes like this. A lot of their interactions are either shawn bantering, flirting, or juliet admonishing his childishness. I love the moments when she gets to be his friend. (I suppose i should point out the part where she gets all weird that shawn mentions it might bother her if he had a thing with joy…idk im fatigued by this point. Like, great, she’s still interested. Its a fun moment. Thats all.)

Gus’ parents are chronic liars lol because weren’t they lying in the last christmas episode too? I don’t agree with them either. Joy is a grown ass woman, if she wants to date shawn she has every right too. For a minute there i thought the reason she wanted to see shawn was because it was hidden and forbidden so it was exciting, but then she said she wanted permission to pick up where they left off, so i think she genuinely likes him. It probably wouldn’t work long term since she lives out of town (state? Where was she before this??) in any case, it should have been her choice. I suppose, since she didn’t fight that hard for it, that she wasn’t that hard-pressed about it, but all the same. Also, this right here, is peak comedy to me. I laugh at this every single time. (Sidenote-yes i did pick up on the new iconic dad for Mr. Guster)

I know this is played for the haha’s, but its even funnier to me that the killer took time to get him all dressed up and propped up. Why? Why would you do that sir?

Lastly, i like the part where shawn talks to the dad about his daughter. Its another small moment of kindness from shawn. Idk, maybe part of the reason he intervenes is because she reminded him of himself when he was a kid, and how he had to grow up too quickly in certain ways. It was very nicely done

P.S why would they zoom in on this scant shrimp platter?? It was just such a weird shot lol

[girls-alias]

Have A Little Faith - Dean Winchester P4

Title: Have A Little Faith - Dean Winchester Part 4

Words: 1,361

Relations: Dean Winchester X Reader

TW: SPOILER S1E12.

For @deans-spinster-witch

Part 3

I put his hand on my shoulder to keep his balance as I pulled the pants past his hips, as slowly and softly as possible. Making everything as comfortable and painless as possible. His butt was a noted attribute I now noticed. I stood and looked him in the eyes. We were so close, I just wanted to kiss him but knew I shouldn't it would be like taking advantage of him or would hurt him. Instead, I kissed his cheek and smiled. He instantly smiled back.

"Does that count as the one kiss you're hoping for?" I asked with a giggle. He just lightly shook his head as he continued to stare into my eyes and smile at me.

"How are you so good at being a nurse?" He asked softly.

"My parents were sick so I was in charge of looking after them when I was young," I shrugged with sad eyes. I sighed slightly at the thoughts. "Do you want a shirt on or do you think you'll get too hot?" I asked softly.

"I don't think you want a half-naked guy in the same bed as you," He commented diverting his eyes.

"You don't know what I want and I'll be half-naked too so I don't mind. Your comfort is more important than my preference." I replied stubbornly making Dean smile.

"I prefer it off," He specified making me smile. I get to share a bed with a shirtless Dean… Hells yeah!

"You clean your teeth and I'll get changed," I informed and his eyebrows instantly lifted at the mention of me getting changed, I laughed and rolled my eyes. I helped him to the sink, which he used to hold his weight. I took a few steps to the side where he couldn't see me through the mirror but I expected he would peek anyway. I got changed into his shirt, I hid my pained grunt by sucking air through my teeth. Moving around to put clothes on seemed to pull on my wounds but I ignored it.

"Are you okay?" Dean asked quickly, panic written across his tone. I chuckled lightly, ignoring the stinging along my entire back and spine.

"Yep," I sighed and tied my hair back into a messy bun. I looked over to see that Dean was cleaning his teeth and not peeking at all. I giggled slightly. "Hmm, I'm impressed. I expected you to be watching with popcorn," I joked making him chuckle before packing up.

"I'm going to keep you one day and then I'll have all the time in the world, I don't need to peek now." He smiled at me as he studied my face. I smiled at him before thinking.

"So, what do you think?" I asked gesturing to me wearing his shirt. His eyes closely surveyed my body.

"You're gorgeous." I was kind of surprised that he was being so genuine and kind of romantic as I expected him to just always be flirty but this was making it harder not to fall in love with him I know we both have to resist as he might not have long to live and we aren't guaranteed anything. I walked over with a smile and gently hugged him making sure not to put pressure on him so I wouldn't hurt him. He hugged me back making sure not to touch my back and I could feel that he was resisting the urge to hug me tightly and never let go. I slowly pulled away and smiled at him. I offered him a hand before helping him out of the room. Sam was already in one of the beds and didn't take notice of us coming back as he read an old journal. That must be their dad's journal that he mentioned earlier. I helped Dean into the double-sized bed before walking to the other side and climbing in. We were sure to keep our space.

"Thank you for today," Dean softly spoke.

"You're welcome," I brightly smiled back making him smile. Once Sam was done reading he turned the light off and we all tried getting some sleep. I was lying on my back while Dean was on his side, facing me. I felt his hand touching mine and thought it was an accident until he intertwined our fingers. I looked over to see he had his eyes closed but was smiling. He wasn't asleep but he was being cute as hell. Why did I have to meet him too late?!?! If I had met Dean earlier things could have worked out. I fell asleep thinking of Dean the entire night. He's perfect! Now I know, I'm madly and deeply in love with the fool.

"Y/N?" I hear Dean whisper. I felt his hand on my cheek, I opened my eyes to see a sleepless Dean facing me. One of his hands is on my cheek, the other is in my hand. His eyes peer into mine through the dark making me smile. He weakly smiles back.

"Do you need the bathroom?" I whisperingly asked earning a nod. I quietly got up and tiptoed to Dean's side in an attempt not to wake Sam. I helped him up but he seemed to be in more pain than before. He was wincing profusely but staying quiet so he didn't wake his brother. We slowly made our way to the bathroom. "Would you like me to stay?" I asked sympathetically. Dean lightly nodded so I turned away and took a few steps. Once he was done I walked over and saw him wincing in pain from just standing. I quickly put the toilet lid down and sat him on it. I knelt in front of him, placing my hands on his knees with a smile.

"I'm normally stronger than this," Dean commented annoyed at his own 'weakness'.

"Dean, you had a heart attack," My tone showed my disbelief. Dean just sighed. "Admittedly, you're dying and you're the only one who's expecting yourself to run a marathon, don't be an idiot." I justified telling him how it is. Dean chuckled, making me smile. Damn, he's perfect!

"You're the only girl to talk to me like this," He paused. "You know how I'm dying? Have you heard of the 'make a wish' thing?" I nodded when he paused again. "Before I die can I have one make a wish?" I looked deeply into his eyes as his voice was soft and serious. I nodded again I had no idea what his wish was, I would guess that it would be the one kiss he kept mentioning but the look in his eyes showed his nervousness to ask. "Will you at least pretend to be my girlfriend?" I didn't know how to answer. Why me? I understand that he's dying and wants someone there but he has Sammy. "I just need to know what it's like to have someone so perfect as my own, even if it is a lie," He added, melting my heart. I decided actions were better than words so lightly hugged him. He hugged me back with a smile. As I pulled away I kissed his cheek again, making him smile some more. After a little protest, Dean let me give him some morphine to help him through the night. He insisted I take some too. He cares about me, it's adorable.

"Come on, we should get to bed," I commented and helped him up. Unlike all the other times, Dean now had his arm around my waist as we walked and I couldn't help but smile. I helped him into the bed before climbing in myself. I turned seeing Dean already smiling at me making me instantly smile. He intertwined our fingers again but this time raised our hands and kissed mine. I couldn't help but blush. He's such a sweetheart!!!! We both fell asleep with huge smiles on our faces. Dean's my fake boyfriend?! Is it too far to kiss him? I'm dying to just kiss him and hug him and be his real girlfriend! Either way, this is going to end in tears.

Masterlist

Working On

Part 5

Taglist

[graciegoeskrazy]

inside your mind

matty healy + niece!daniel!teen!reader

warnings: mentions of slapping and punching, mentions of bullying, alludes to reader being g depressed, a cherry topping of teen angst, short short short

a/n: just a lil somthing to tide u over! i missed dad matty lol. SEND IN REQUESTS! even if you send in multiple! or if you are the same person! i don’t care! i love them and i need them! unless i replied no (which j don’t think i have) they r all coming. slowly but surely. ty anonie who requested!

This wasn't your proudest moment. It also wasn’t the first time something like this had happened. You had to watch them place a call and talk to your father on the phone. You couldn’t make out his exact words, but knew they were full of honest sympathy. They told him what they told the other parents. Something along the lines of This behavior is not acceptable and she will have to be reprimanded for the damage she has done to others. You thought it was all shit. You are a freshman with a 4.5 GPA and take classes 2 years above your grade level. Meanwhile, your opponent that day was some lonely 12th grader with anger issues and nothing better to do.

You sat near the front door of the the front office, anxiously awaiting his arrival. That was until you heard the front door open and saw Matty standing there. He sighed as he walked in and spotted you.

You stood up with your bag. “What are you doing here?”

“Dad’s in a meeting. I offered to bail you out.” He said.

You sighed and headed for the door.

“I don’t need to talk to anyone?”

“Nah. They already suspended me for 3 days.”

“Jeez, babe.” He sighed again as he headed to the car. “Do you want to tell me what happened?”

“Just…bitches.” You tried to shrug it off, hoping he wouldn’t bring it up again. “People were being bitches, so you punched them?” He opened the door for you, prompting you to get in.

“I didn’t punch them…it was more on the lines of a slap.”

“So that’s supposed to make it better?”

“I never said that. Just wanted you to get your facts straight.” You smiled at him as you got in.

“Smart ass.” He said, smiling and slamming the door. He got in on the other side. Before he could start the car, you interrupted him and spoke.

“Is he mad?’ You kept your gaze in front of you. You were genuine this time. Not like the ‘smart ass’.

Matty took a moment before answering. “No, I think he’s just confused.”

He looked at you and reached over the console. “What’s going on, love? Hm? What’s happening in that brain of yours?”

“So much and so little at the same time.”

“Does it just get too loud sometimes?”

You shrugged and looked down.

“You’ve not been yourself lately.”

You rolled your eyes. “You sound like him.”

“Because I agree with him!” He moved a loose piece of hair behind your ear while you sat still, not acknowledging it. “Where’s the old y/n who used to laugh at every word I say and giggle so loudly she peed herself?”

“No one liked her.” You said abruptly.

“Well, I loved her.” He said, matter of fact-ly. “Do things just feel kind of…grey now? He asked, cautiously.

“Yeah.” You said, through the beginning of your tears.

“You need to talk to your Dad, love.” You rolled your eyes slightly but all it did was push him on. “Whatever is happening…this ‘grey’ shit- it’s gone on for too long. I want my girl back.” He planted a kiss on the side of your head and whipped a tear that had fallen. “Talk to him for me, okay?”

You nodded and finally looked up at him. “Okay.”

[justanotherpersonsuniverse]

Ok so I didn’t see that you’d posted til the 17th, which is atrocious but I’ve been up to stuff and not on ao3 as much 

I am indescribably hyped to read the new chapter, the glorious days that you post panthera are always fabulous

Onto the notes, major spoilers for Feast, chapter 76 of Panthera Noire!

—

Dear god it’s refreshing to read your writing again, something about your style just hits right, specially cause I’m a bit hung over rn blegh

Gabriels nightmare is incredibly written, the fact that panthera does give this grown man nightmares is genuinely hysterical and utterly deserved. 

Ehehehe your dialogue for gabriel is splendid, don’t like how he treats nooroo but the idea of him putting the broach on his night shirt is amusing, do you think he does it super fast cause hes para and like jabs his thumb while putting it on?

Daw juleka and rose being cute, this won’t last will it…

What on earth is alix’s dad doing up a mountain in tibet? I can’t remember this episode aside from a few clips so idk if this is pulled from canon or if this is something you’ve made up. Either way why was he up there he’s a little museum guy

Oh em gee marinette pov!! A rare delicacy

I love when alix jokes about things she shouldn’t know. How about a bunny miraculous indeed…

Oh marinette… the guilt Juleka feels about lying about her identity is like a whole different brand to what marinette feels when obfuscating the truth, marinette can like compartmentalise it into justifying her actions until it gets to someone really close but even then shes like welp its for their sake and mine cant do anything about it

None of that is important i just like it

Something something chess metaphor for how marinette uses the heroes and either she is the queen in these scenarios or panthera is and marinette is the king… 

Tbh plagg calling wayzz a bootlicker kinda bangs, they’re quite literally gods and concepts and have been through loads of holders, the relationships for kwamis and their holders is always a bit weird to me, ach its something i fixed in my own stuff

Hmm interesting how juleka can hear so well, it would be funny if she’d just seen juleka hanging out with master fu but that’s more comedic value than plot progression

I really do love how you’ve got panthera and Fu’s relationship, there’s respect but also he’s not another person who she bends over backwards to accommodate like ladybug its a very good balance

Fu’s reaction to Feast is splendid, and interesting backstory… he’s like old as balls so i never really thought about his parents, i think i assumed he was born into the order but being abandoned is a curious twist, you’ve given me something to think about for my own work actually, even if its never mentioned its helpful for how to write him

Its been 3 days i got distracted and went to the club, dreadnought oldest rock club in scotland :D omg panthera would fucking love the dreddy i feel so at home with the like 50 year old goths who live there

Anyway, i also got ill so remembering about this was like amazing

I love how theatrically juleka and plagg speak even tho they’re like totally serious 

Omg i hate gabriel. I understand him most of the time but ugh the fact that he’s acting like that towards nathalie when she’s going through the same thing emily did is just enraging

I mean i get that it might make him act more weird but still

Poor wee adrien man

Omg panthera acting like spiderman always gets me, its her little interactions with people that are so cute even tho she doesn’t know them but she does she makes so much effort to be down to earth with people ach

Fantastic chase scene, but alos hello?? Not Juleka trying to scheme if they can just save the miraculous and leave fu to Feast thats insane girl

“There's my girl” on god ladybug do you not hear yourself speak?? Thats your wife girl… 

The type of friendship they have is sooo… married 40 years the spark died out but they still bicker and rely on each other. One of my pals and i act like that sometimes it’s good fun

Oh dear i feel so bad for Fu, like he makes bad decisions but mann that guys traumatised

I do love how panthera is like this horror entity type thing while ladybug seems to be more human. Panthera is a danger to all old men with high blood pressure fr

Honestly seeing LB fight without the suit is interesting but I’ll always adore Panthera or Juleka fighting without the suit, tho we did get a little bit of that last chapter, and, obviously, in the theatre arc

OH MY GOATS

I always love seeing civilians banding together against the akuma, alix having a molotov is so in character, i bet a hundred smackaroos she got the booze from Anarka

I like marinettes conversation with Fu, i cant articulate why but its a good scene

YAY more ladynoire flirting for no fucking reason we are so back

I mean we need to be for chat blank to hit as hard…

On that note i forgot what a goated season season 3 is, what with chat blank, reflektdoll with the kwami swap, timetagger time travel... And more i’ve forgotten 

Good question why IS her plan always vore??? 

This actual made me cackle, awesome comedy cap

Oh no why’re we getting into Fu and Feasts relationship… youre making me attached to the senti monster bro i can’t have that

Oh fire tine ‘lego’ skeleton… i hate how the guardians lived after being eaten by Feast like I know the miraculous cure fixes shit but i feel like it should only fix the stuff that LB has been directly involved with. I don’t know whether you’ll keep the guardians dead or not but i can hope!

NOOO feast dying is just making me like really sad bro he was just hungry…

Monkey hands on head over here

Oh marinette the least subtle person in the world… actually just pmo cause i was wanting panthera to bring it up tho i guess it is proper evidence that marinette hasnt and her reasons make some sense but ugh

Toxic yuri continues cant wait for it to explode… maybe thats connected to the chat blanc incident?

I think the dissonance between how panthera sees him as a person who made mistakes and still holds him accountable while ladybug sees him as this tragic story who just needs to be coddled and taken care of is interesting

NOOOO FU WHY make them both guardians omg no. i mean yes its important cause its such a big deal, tho i cant see some of the conflict in season for coming about based off of marinettes vehemence to not put out too many miraculous when season four was crazy for handing them out like candy… we’ll just have to see how it plays out i suppose

Oh wait hang on am i diot? Is marinette just too focussed on herself to see that Fu has also been training panthera or is panthera missing some information? She might be missing some stuff with how she delegated asking for the B team miraculous to be permanent to marinette… 

Hmm

I do like how set on killing hawkmoth panthera is, her scales of justice are perhaps a bit skewed and deviant, devient superego… yeah lets not psychoanalyse this using freud 

AWESOME CHAPTER!!! Sorry it took so long for me to read i am busy with college bullshit… home stretch this year thank fuck

HEHEHE ITS ALL GODO IM GLAD YOU ENJOYED!!!! I had so much goddamn fun with this chapter and being able to set so much stuff just here has been a blast.

As for Marinette, Fu, Juleka, and all the guardian stuff. You're right on Marinette being too focused! In her pov, it says Fu stares directly at her when referring to guardians. In Juleka's, he stares at both of them

Marinette has never considered Fu may have been teaching Panthera the same shit hes been teaching her. In her eyes, shes been trained for this job and only her!

And so she brunt forces that worldview whenever she talks to juleka, esp about the miraculouses.

In her eyes, Panthera doesnt know as much as she does! So of course shes taking the lead, of course she's not making the right decision on letting the others have their miraculouses full time- of course its right for her to take control! Fu knows best, and Ladybug knows what Fu wants, so Ladybug knows best!

It's not meant to be demeaning, its not meant to strip Pantheras autonomy, but it does!

And thats a pattern with them. Ladybug is the plan guy and that has gotten to her head about how they treat their partnership.

[luffyvace]

”headcanons for Reigen and his childhood”

—@princeasimdiya12 resquested these through message :)

Little Reigen was probably a little silly :3 who also probably went through some stuff ⚠️ TW: angst

To start off on a good note I wanna go ahead and say if somebody were to ask him ‘how was your childhood’ he’d respond “it was good, I had a good home n’ my mom was the best cook 😼, my dad always played ball with me too👌” although it’s much deeper than that, he isn’t lying technically.

Anyway on to the sillies :3 His mom actually is a really good cook 😍👩‍🍳 she could cook and bake in fact 😚 (when she didn’t burn the deserts <3) yeah idk what happened but she always just seemed to forget she was baking?? But she didn’t forget when she was cooking….? Idk 🤷‍♀️ Maybe because sometimes baking takes longer in the oven? Again- idk, but it never broke out into a fire so that’s good….although they had to leave the house cuz all the smoke 😁 which leads me to say his mom would end up telling the neighbors (they lived in apartment when he was real young, like up til 7) so they could get out too (cuz smoke like- slips through the cracks of the doors). Everyone opens the windows and doors until it airs out. Before then everyone’s outside relaxing or playing. (Reigen and his dad was the only ones playing).

The couple upstairs was a young couple with no children and there was a old married couple downstairs. Which essentially means Reigen didn’t grow up with other children, at least in his apartment. On the block, yeah but they either weren’t cool with him or were older kids. So yeah, Reigen mostly played with his father. They’d play baseball a lot and Reigen was the batter but he always got hit in the face whenever his dad pitched 😚👍Playing ball with him was his happiest moments, at some point he wanted to be a baseball player actually. He was so fond of it, even his room was baseball themed.

⚠️Angst part:

At school he had friends. Not the type where your excited to see them every day, nonono- the type that occasionally talked to you when they were bored, or if you did something cool. Yeah, those friends :( He clang onto that because that was the most he got. It’s not that the other kids hated him, they just had they’re groups….and he wasn’t apart of any. He was also the class laughing stock 😤 The teachers saw him occasionally talk to students so they never thought twice about the situation 🤦‍♀️ (Check on the poor baby!! 💥💥) He was really chatty when he did get the chance to talk and it was mostly him spewing “cool” lies about his life. Bragging, trying to big himself up to make others want to be his real friends. Buuut that never happened. Actually I wanna say he made one (actually 4 but we’ll get into that later) real friend in high school but he was a foreign exchange student—and he never got the chance to get his number before he went back.

Overall things got better into his teens for a while, until they didn’t. His earlier years played a factor but the teens really did it as to why he is how he is today. At first he had a friend group. It was like 3 dudes and him. They were genuine and had lots of fun together. They met on summer break and two weren’t from his school, the other was but in a different class from him. A pair in the group met in middle school and loved to skateboard. Just thought I’d mention it. Anyway they eventually split ways, not for any reason in particular—they just drifted apart :/

when he turned 11 is when his dad stopped playing with him and he changed his room from baseball themed. He was pretty upset about it but one of the reasons he stopped was because he was his dad had to focus on work more and picked up more hours. So he ended up wanting the weekends for resting and not playing. A year later when he was 12, his parent’s marriage got really rocky- like almost to a divorce—he never found out what happened but something did and completely fixed the problem?! Not overnight of course- but things looked up a lot. He stayed in his room a lot that year and he never bothered asking, only happy to know they were staying together.

Fluff again ♡:

uh random to lighten the mood.. he really loved his mother’s banana pudding. (If he could he would still eat it to this day). But he doesn’t visit her often enough. They email more than anything.

His favorite meal for breakfast was waffles. For lunch? Grilled cheese :) and for dinner he looooved takeout 😋 yeah he’s a pretty takeout obsessed dude and even though his mom can kick more butt in the kitchen than the restaurant cook can he just always had a taste for it 🤷‍♀️ His favorite takeout was Chinese food. Although he could never use the chopsticks he always tried :P

This isn’t my usual headcanons writing style but I decided I wanted to do it like this instead because the paragraphs are a bit long 😅

I do hope you don’t mind dear 💗 enjoy your tea 😊☕️

[bearieio]

simon "ghost" riley headcanons because i cant sleep and i love him.

genre: fluff! - mention of bdsm/fetishwear in fashion (with a hint of suggestive content?)

warnings: none! these are just really unorganized.. :( plus i ramble a LITTLE BIT. SORRY! fem!reader; uses she/her prns

⋆ most definitely has a staring problem. he’s constantly gazing into your eyes, focusing your face, your body, everything. every chance he gets, he’s studying every inch of your body. watching you closely as you do simple things such as reading a book, lying down, and especially when you’re getting ready. it’s his favorite activity… apart from other things..

⋆ whether you’re shorter than him, taller than him, bigger than him, or smaller than him, he cannot and will not keep his hands off of you. he loves to touch every crack and crevice on (and in) your body. your hips, your back, your legs, your hair, your face, he loves all the parts of you.

⋆ vverrryyyyyy clingy. cannot stand being away from you for more than 2 minutes. he doesn't know how he makes it through the missions. he's usually in utter despair the whole time, but he gets the job done!

⋆ despite what everyone else says, he’s almost always extremely gentle with you and the other people he cares about. he's genuinely afraid he's going to hurt you one day, and he won't be able to forgive himself even if you can. he appreciates your constant reassurance, but in the back of his mind, that thought still lingers.

⋆ he loves, loves, loovvess to praise you and call you the cutest petnames. he loves the way his sweet little comments and sayings make you blush and squirm. he praises the absolute hell out of you for even the smallest things.

"you're doin' so well, sweetheart," "my sweet girl." "good girl." "-my girl" "there she is!" "look at me, babygirl." "missed you, puppy."

⋆ autism. no i will not be elaborating.

⋆ (last one for funsies) enjoys alternative and heavier genres of music. classic NWOBHM and dad rock enjoyer. probably thinks ozzy is god (because he is). every time he brings up judas priest he also has to bring up the fact that rob halford is gay and introduced bdsm and fetish wear to the metal scene.......

omg sorry that this post is so short.. ITS MY FIRST ONE!

constructive criticism is appreciated !!!

[ingydar-phan]

Happy birthday Dan. I found you at a very, very low point in my life. It’s funny, because that point was only a few months ago. March 3rd. March 3rd. Jesus Christ. I was dealing with severe bullying, depression, hopelessness, isolation, gender dysphoria (i have been out/socially transitioned for like 5 years), and most of all, loneliness. I had a circle of about 3 friends who i talked to regularly, but only 1 i even saw in person more than once per year. Then, two of those 3 people began having relationship issues and were on the verge of breaking up. I felt like i was a bother, a burden to their already existing issues. Every single day I’d walk into school, put my headphones on, and not talk to a single person. I’d read, sleep, listen to music, dissociate, and sleep some more throughout the day just to distract myself from everything. From class, from parents, from the outside, everything. I fully and truly believed everyone besides those 3 people hated me. They found me disgusting, annoying, taking up space, and simply didn’t want me there. I think that is true to an extent, but i don’t like how i was just letting that be how it is. My dad was genuinely hopeless, he told me to just ride it out and if i could try to be just a little bit normal-er, maybe i wouldn’t be ignored by every person every day. That didn’t work. Instead, i decided to do some self work. Or rather, my dad stopped intruding on my free time which allowed me to still be awake and do things i wanted to do in peace. I thought, “Dan and Phil….those two emo guys with the cat whiskers….i have such a vague memory of a friend mentioning them or scrolling across a post of them, who even are they?”. I typed into the YouTube search bar “Dan and Phil”. A gaming channel? Are these people streamers? Oh god (i did not know you were one of us 🏳️‍🌈….or british…..). I watched one video. Now, ACCORDING TO YOUTUBE HISTORY, i somehow watched What Dan And Phil Text Each Other 4 as my first video. Not even the gaming channel, i don’t know how this happened maybe YouTube is lying to me. Whatever. Ok so which ones Dan and which ones Phil? Why do they look SO different? They’re British? I started watching Dan and Phil edits on TikTok. Ok, i know who you are, i get the vibes. Oh, coming out timeline? Gaming channel timeline and hiatus? Reacting to PINOF? On March 13, i watched Basically I’m Gay and Coming Out To You. It took me an entire month from then to watch Why I Quit YouTube. By late April, i was in it. I was watching Dan or Phil every day. Before, during, and/or after school. Since then, I’ve purchased YWGTTN (limited edition signed updated paperback). It was 38 fucking dollars in USD but it was worth it. I also now own TATINOF and DAPGO, one of which is signed by Phil, i bought second hand. So yes, now this is my new thing. But you know what else? I was getting happier. I was going to more concerts. I was doing my schoolwork, or at least trying to. I was reading!!!! I’ve since finished The Secret History. I made a friend; reconnected with an old childhood friend and started eating lunch together and hanging out and having shared trauma dump sessions, and we are so so close now. My two friends broke up, but it’s ok. I’m best friends with one of them and he’s so much better off, and the other and i are still casual friends!! I value them both for the multiple years I’ve known them. I’ve taken family vacations and done religious holidays with genuine care while getting to reconnect with my family. I’ve very passionately finished acting in a musical that I’ve put so much care into for about 5 months. I’m graduating tomorrow!!! And me and my close friend will be going to a concert tomorrow night afterwards, and I’m going to have a great summer where i see my close friend who i haven’t seen IRL since March of 2023. I’m getting closer with my dad and seeing a new therapist. I am having medical problems as of right now, but i would 100% be lying in bed crying and skipping graduation had i not found a reason to enjoy my days.

Did i just take one sentence referencing Dan to write a whole autobiography on tumblr? Yes, but also no. Dan and Phil are real people. They really do rescue pigeons named Steve and getting 10 sauces for their pizza and say hi across the city with binoculars. But they also genuinely have an impact on people, and they see that, and they LIKE to see that. I don’t think Dan will see this post. But I’m making it anyway. For me.

I love Dan so much. I cried twice while watching We’re All Doomed in my kitchen. I have actively watched Dan and Phil videos while crying at school. Once, in my bedroom, i was having a panic attack. I had an overwhelming rush of thoughts around 10 or 11 at night about how worthless i am and how terrible everything was going. I opened my tiktok, and there was THE edit that saved me. It was a video of fetus Dan on YouNow talking about his dream home. And then it was cutting back and forth to the Phouse. Then, Dans hopeful monologue in Basically I’m Gay. Finally, Dans hopeful monologue in We’re All Doomed. All of this in a softly shaky screen with sad music behind it. I cried a lot. This aspect of my life means so much to me. I think about the Halloween 2023 baking video at least 5 times a day (and sister Daniel’s….uhm….legs…). I am still so mad i did not buy the satanic Craft shirts. I just rewatched Dans interview last year with Anthony Padilla just because of how goddamn much I’m obsessed with that angle of Dan with his cute chin and cheeks and fucking dimple. I think about Dans bluntness in his defined-self and truly feel inspired to be like him. I look at his change over the years, his comfortability in his body, seeing that his face and neck are shaped like my face and neck, and he’s fucking beautiful. I don’t think I’d feel comfortable in my weight if not for Dan Howell, and i mean that so insanely sincerely. I read Dans book whenever I’m feeling hopeless and need a soft sexy British man to tell me the scientific reasoning behind why i feel this way and to assure me he’s felt worse. I’m so serious when i say i cannot imagine a day of my life without Dan and Phil. I truly don’t understand how i lived before or how I’d expect to live without it. “Live”, in the sense of find a way of life, not as in “stay alive.” I can’t imagine a day without those big brown boba eyes and that cute dimple and mainly that calming voice that reminds me someone else has felt this way. That reminds me love is possible. That reminds me i have so much ahead of me, so much life and love and joy.

Phil’s birthday stream may be my favorite piece of Dan and Phil media, or at least one of them. I find it so comforting and wholesome and beautiful and hilarious. I have such high hopes for Dans birthday stream. Until then, I’ll be working on my long-awaited (still very very unfinished) 2009!Dan and Phil art piece within my art initiative (pinned on my profile) (just for funsies, no money or anything involved). I’m going to sit there at 3pm (my time) and watch with a huge smile on my face to see my amazing dads spend the time of their lives being sexy and old and happy and disgustingly homosexual while i just embrace all you’ve done for me.

Happy birthday Dan

@danielhowell

[neteyamssyulang]

▸ Sinful Temptations ▸

▸ Pairing: Alastor x Fem doe reader ▸

▸ Summary: You thought your wedding night would go well considering how sweet he had been, man were you wrong.

▸ Warnings: Arranged marriage, Mentions of slight abuse, Manipulation, Oral (M receiving), Creepy vibes from John, Cheating, Drowning, Death, Decapitation.

▸ Word count: 4,149 ▸

▸ A/N: My longest fic by far so hope you all enjoy! <3 Just for clarification, This takes place in the 1960’s🥲

▸ Also, I know this is an Alastor story but he only makes an appearance at the end, the other chapters will involve him alot more I promise😭. This is just meant to be a backstory for reader since in future chapters there will be references to this and how it affects her and Alastors relationship <3

▸ Tagging: @aria-tempest @alastorthirsty

The day you were born your parents were overjoyed, their beautiful baby girl had finally been born into the world.

Unfortunately though, this came at a price. See even with your father working as a buss driver and your mother doing homecare, they still barely had enough to raise their little girl and pay all the bills.

So a deal had to be made, much to your mothers distaste. She would've been fine living this way if it meant her daughter could choose her own path, your father only wanted what was best for you regardless of the price he was willing to take.

There was one wealthy family that was very well known, they were selfish, stuck up and just so awful. All they wanted was more and more land for themselves, offering money to those who were dumb enough to sell their property.

With the help of a family friend, your father managed to sign a contract with the family stating that your parents would be able to keep their house and get the money. As long as on the day you turn 18, you would be wed to their son, John.

-18 years later-

"Mom I'm going out!" You called out to your mother who was in the kitchen, fixing up dinner. "Alright sweetie, be safe" she responded.

Humming, you opened the front door making sure it gets shut behind you then started walking to the meet up spot you and your friend have.

It wasn't very far, maybe only a 7 minute walk or so. Your mother loved your friendship while your father dispised it, he thought that females shouldn't have male friends.

Nevertheless you kept your friendship, only going to see him when your dad was working.

Soon enough you made it to the spot, it was a quiet area in the park with flowers surrounding it.

"Y/n you made it!" Andrew exclaimed, walking over and engulfing you in a tight hug. Smiling, you hugged him back before pulling away "Wouldn't miss it Andi."

Taking your hand, he led you to the clearing where you both sat down "I can't believe we won't be able to see eachother after this.." he spoke softly.

Sighing, you pulled your hand free "Andi we can still see eachother, it will just have to be in sec-" "Why are you lying to yourself?!" He cut you off, startling you a bit.

"You know that the minute you marry that selfish skumbag, we won't see each other again. People like him don't socialize with people like us.." he spoke, turning to look you in the eyes "You can't marry him y/n."

Looking down, you hugged your knees to your chest "I don't have much of a choice, this was already planned since I was born Andi."

Andrew scoffed, "So that's it then? You're just going to be the wife of a stuck up rich boy whom he will never care about?" Shaking his head he stood up "You're going to turn out just like them."

Before you had a chance to reply back, Andrew was already walking away. Why was he so upset with you? It's not like you had a choice in the matter. Did you want to marry him? Hell no, you wanted to find someone who would genuinely love and care for you.

But this is how it had to be, the deal had long been done. Once marrying John, you would become his little housewife and maid from what your father told you.

Standing up, you brushed the dirt and grass off your dress before starting the walk back home.

"And where have you been young lady?" You heard as soon as you entered the house. Gulping, you took off your shoes and walked into the kitchen seeing your father and mother.

Your mouth opened or speak but nothing came out, instead you went to the table and sat down."Well? Speak up child" he spoke.

"I-" "I sent her on an errand for me, to drop off something at the neighbors. You know how much they love her so they probably made her stay for tea" your mother calmly said.

Meeting his gaze, you could see your father raise a brow at the both of you but shrug it off afterwards "Alright then. Well as you know my daughter, your 18th birthday will be coming up in two days time. Until then, The chanlers have been most gracious to let you stay there with them. Gives you and their son time to get to know one another."

Your mother clenched her fists, she hated this, hated that her daughter had to marry such a skumbag of a boy. She could never go against your father though, too afraid to try and reason with him.

"Something you would like to add my dear?" He asked her, your mother shook her head "No.. I have nothing to say darling."

Everything went quiet after that, you all ate in silence besides the occasional talk of how everyone's day went.

Once everyone was finished with dinner, you were excused to go to your room and start packing since you would be getting picked up tomorrow by the chanlers butler.

You placed your suitcase by the door as soon as you got everything you would need packed, changed into your pajamas you had left out and got into bed, turning off the lamp.

Tomorrow would be fine.. you would just be going to stay with your soon to be husband's family that's it, nothing bad would happen..

Right?

Wrong.

The next morning you woke up to your mother bawling her eyes out, confused you got out of bed and opened the door to your room when your dads yelling caught you by surpise.

"She is going to their house and staying there do you understand?! You know better than to go against the deal, know better than to go against me!" He shouted at your mother,

Did he?.. no he couldn't have.. your father wasn't the type to hit a woman. Nevertheless you backed away silently from the door, changed out of your pajamas and into a simple blue dress with stockings then pulled your hair up into a small bun.

You tried not to let tears fall, worrying about your mother. Your father was never like this, sure it wasn't the best to go against your husband as a woman but hitting?..

The door to your room swung open with your father looking angry, he marched over and grabbed you by your right arm "You're leaving, now. I don't care if you haven't eaten or aren't fully dressed, your getting out of this house right now!" He yelled.

Grabbing your suitcase with his other hand he dragged you out the room, down the hallway and to the front door where he threw you and the suitcase on the ground all awhile your mother stood in the kitchen looking away.

You could see the mascara lines running down her face from her tears, it made your heart ache since you knew she just wanted to help and keep her baby safe.

All that was short lived from your fathers voice "Get up and go to the Chanlers car, there is a surpise guest waiting for you" he simply said before slamming the door.

Not having much of a choice, you got up dusting your dress off, grabbed your suitcase then walked to the car.

Someone who you would presume as the butler came around the car, "Allow me, madam" he opened the door to the backseat and once you were in he closed it. Following that, he took your suitcase putting it into the trunk of the car before making his way back to the drivers seat, starting on the drive to the Chanlers residence.

Upon getting into the car you noticed him right away, "Well if it isn't my future wife" he spoke smugly, moving closer towards you.

"H-hello" you spoke softly, feeling a bit uncomfortable by him moving closer. Either he noticed or he didn't care since he took your right hand in his, bringing it to his lips kissing it."Is the little girl shy?" He teased, placing his left hand on your cheek.

Your heartbeat increased and not in the good way at that, sure he was semi good looking (not really) and all but his breath reeked of fish.

It made you want to vomit but you chose to instead hold a fake smile "Not shy, just um uncomfortable kind of.."

John raised a brow, "Uncomfortable around me? Your soon to be husband in two days?" He scoffed, but quickly smirked and rubbed your cheek with his thumb.

The action would've made your flutter if it wasn't in such a creepy way."You sadden me sweetheart, but I know how you can make up for it."

Your eyes met his and you spoke softly,"How can I make up for it?" John moved away, sitting with his back against the door and one leg up on the seat with his other on the ground still.

He beckoned you over with two fingers which you obeyed, moving over but stopped when he held his hand up "On your hands and knees baby, this is how you can be a good girl and make it up to me."

Nodding, you moved to your hands and knees causing a grin to appear on his face "What a good listener you are." John pulled down his pants just enough for his cock to spring out, his tip already oozing pre-cum.

He placed his left hand on the back of your head, guiding you down onto his cock "Don't bite, there will be consequences if you do" he spoke.

Your jaw ached, being force to stretch to take his length. John grunted as he began to guide your movements, breathy moans leaving his lips.

His hand soon disappeared from your head and you could've swore you heard the sound of a camera shutter go off. "Such a good toy, that's all you are for me hm? Just a little toy for me to use as I please."

Tears welt up in your eyes and you felt nauseous as if you were about to throw up, either from his words or the smell radiating off of him.

With your constant squirming trying to get away, he eventually huffed and pushed you off him "Ugh, the girls in my neighborhood can suck dick better than you. What are you even good for?!" He snapped, making you flinch.

"Pathetic."

The rest of the car ride stayed in silence, he had already tucked himself back into his pants by the time the car stopped infront of the Chanlers residence.

John didn't even bother to help, he just got out the car slamming the door shut then walked to the front door of the mansion heading inside.

Looking down, you got out the car closing it when the butler cleared his throat behind you "If I may madam, do not let master John belittle you. The boy cannot even brush his teeth or shower without needing help, his parents are no different."

A small smile formed on your face,"I will try not to, and yeah I kind of figured when I got into the car with him." The butler, who's name you know now as chives took your suitcase while chuckling softly.

"This way madam, I will show you to your chambers" he spoke, starting to lead the way inside.

The mansion was huge, as expected. On the left side was a medium sized library along with what you think is the living room, while on the right side was the dining area along with a big kitchen.

Each wall was hung with either family portraits, animal heads or just small portraits of John, the flooring was a beige color with gold swirls while the walls were a beautiful pink pearl.

In the middle of all this, a grand staircase stood. Chives led you up the staircase, down the long hallway where you turned right then finally stopped at a door,"This one is yours madam."

Reaching a hand out, you turned the knob and pushed the door open gently. Stepping inside your eyes widened, this room looked bigger than your house.

It had a beautiful bed with a light pink and gold canopy ontop, a bathroom, large walk in closet that was fully stocked with jewelry, shoes, heels, dresses etc. Hell it even had a space that looked to be a medium sized library of your own, chives must've seen your excitement as he set your suitcase down and dismissed himself.

The sound of the door closing brought you out of your thoughts, this place was beautiful yes, if only the people living here were nice too. There were no expectations that the parents were nice, they were probably the worst ones here besides John.

Two days came around fast, faster than you had hoped. One of the maids named Hellen was tasked with getting you into your wedding dress along with fixing up your hair, she was quite nice actually.

Hellen had been working for the Chanlers for a few years now, not because she had to but because she wanted to. Even though they were stuck up and rude to everyone, the lady of the house who’s name was Priscilla never made any remarks to Hellen.

She was like a mother to her in a way so Hellen always felt welcome and safe there, unlike the other staff members who would get verbally abused 24/7.

Currently, you were standing on a platform in front of the large mirror in your room while Hellen made some adjustments on your dress.

The dress stopped just below your ankles, it was strapless with lace going around towards the bottom. White beads decorated around your waist along with a few gold swirls.

It actually looked pretty beautiful, even if your being married to a complete self centered piece of shit. “I know you do not want to marry master John but please madam, give him a chance he may surpise you” Hellen commented.

You didn’t say anything back, instead opting to nod. Once Hellen was finished, she did a quick bow before leaving the room. Sighing, you stepped off the platform, looking at yourself once more in the mirror then decided to go find where John is.

The halls were now familiar to walk through, you knew where everything was but there was still no sign of your soon to be husband.

Turning the corner, you saw a door slightly ajar down the way with noises coming from it. Curious, you quietly walked towards it and what you heard completely shocked you.

“Yesss! Ha-harder John!” The woman’s voice wailed, “Good girl baby” John muttered to her “Your so much better than that pathetic bitch I have to marry.”

Not wanting to hear anymore of that, you stepped away and started on the walk back to your room. Truthfully you wanted to cry, wanted to just break down then and there but you couldn’t.

This was bound to happen with a man like him, it was going to be your life now. You would just be nothing but a piece of meat for him to use as he pleases, never able to feel what it means to be truly loved.

You will never live out your dream wedding and life with someone who could truely love you, never know real happiness.

All you would know is pain and suffering.

Taking a deep breath, you faced the doors while they opened, all eyes were now on you as the wedding march began playing.

Your hands began shaking a bit, in reality you were never good with crowds. It made your anxiety go up big time, unfortunately though you had no choice with this. So slowly you began making your way towards the alter.

A fake smile plastered on your face the whole walk up, upon reaching him you gave the flowers to Hellen who came up to you smiling “You look so beautiful madam, master John will surely think so aswell.”

You managed a small thank you, watching as she sat back down beside Priscilla before you felt a forceful jerk on your hands as you were now standing in front of him.

Leaning in he muttered, “Be good for me and this will all go smoothly ok?” then stood up straight again with a smile on his face.

Rolling your eyes you kept the fake smile on your face while the wedding officiant began speaking.

“Welcome, We are gathered here today to witness the sacred union of Y/n L/n and John Chanler. We stand here to honor and celebrate the love shared between these two people, as they come together to start their new life with a solemn vow, surrounded by their closest family and friends. Y/n and John are overjoyed that you are able to join us here today” he starts.

All you could think about as he was talking was that this was all a lie, these people didn’t know that this was an unfortunate arranged marriage, they didn’t know that you didn’t want this.

You were snapped out of your thoughts when the officiater spoke “There are no vows more meaningful and powerful than those which will be shared here today. Your wedding vows are a sacred declaration of your love for each other, the foundation of your relationship as a married couple, and the life you want to build together. Please face each other as you declare these vows to one another. John, you may start.”

Clearing his throat, John rubbed your hands gently with his thumbs while looking into your eyes “I, John, take you, Y/n to be my wedded wife. I promise to stand by your side through good and bad times, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. I vow to stay true to you and love you unconditionally for the rest of my days.”

“Y/n, please now make your vows.”

You stood there silent for a few moments, were you really about to do this? Give your life away all so your parents deal could be finalized?

John squeezed your hands, glaring at you as a way of saying ‘Hurry up with it’

Sighing, you finally spoke “I, Y/n, take you, John to be my wedded husband. I promise to stay by your side through good and bad times, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. I vow to stay true to you and love you unconditionally for the rest of my days.”

The rest was all a blur, whereas you would’ve meant some of it John didn’t mean any of that. He would leave you the first chance he got for another woman, not bothering to care if anything would happen to you.

“Do you, John, take this woman to be your wedded wife?” The officiater spoke, looking between the both of you. John nodded “I do”

Oh fuck it was gonna be your turn now..“And do you, Y/n, take this man to be your wedded husband?” Your eyes adverted from his for a second, your smile fading “I.. I do..”

“By the power vested in me, I pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss.” Your now husband didn’t waste any time, he pulled you in and smashed his lips against yours making everyone clap and cheer.

You managed to push him away after a couple seconds, not standing the taste of him. The last thing the officiater spoke was “It is with great honor and delight that I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Chanler.”

Normally one would’ve had a wedding reception but nope, John had managed to wisk you away, driving the both of you to his own mansion. It was apparently a wedding gift to you and him by his parents.

The car soon stopped two hours later with John getting out almost instantly, for once though he walked to your side, opening the door and helped you out of the car, “My beautiful bride” he smiled.

Your brows furrowed, why was he acting so…nice? As if he could read your mind John chuckled, “What? Can’t a guy be nice to his perfect little wife?”

Giving you no time to answer, your husband picked you up bridal style causing a small squeak to leave your lips.

As soon as you reached the doors, a butler was already there opening them for you both. “Now, a tour can wait till tomorrow. Right now why don’t we enjoy a nice swim hm?” He offered, already walking up the staircase and to your shared room.

“That sounds nice actually” you giggled, feeling a bit more comfortable around him. Why he’s being nice you have no clue, but it’s better than him acting like a dick that’s for sure.

The two of you got changed into your swim suits, his was simple black trunks while yours was a grey two piece. You had layed your dress out on the bed so it wouldn’t get all wrinkly in the closet, later you’d find a nice place to put it.

John had led you downstairs, down the hall, and to the large glass doors where a different butler opened them. The backyard was beautiful, filled with a large pool, grilling area, a hot tub, even a small playground for future children.

Too excited you ran towards the pool, jumping inside once reaching it. The water felt so cool and refreshing on your skin, kicking off the bottom of the pool you resurfaced, breathing in much needed air.

“Having fun baby?” John asked, hanging by the edge of the pool in the shallow end. Smiling, you swam towards him wrapping your arms around his neck, “I really am, this is perfect. Thank you John, your really not so bad after all.”

Laying your head against his chest, you sighed happily. It had seemed like he had changed, like he now genuinely loved you.

Unfortunately, that was all he needed to complete his plan. Placing his right hand on your hip, he used his left to quietly slip a knife out from his trunks and slowly brought it to the middle of your back before impaling it into you.

You choked on a gasp, feeling searing hot pain coursing through your body. “Did you really think that I would ever love someone like you? Your weak” he scoffed, twisting the knife in you.

A pained scream left you as tears pricked at your eyes “B-but I..” “Shut up!” He cut you off, pushing you down into the water.

The next few moments were you trying to get away but failing miserably, John now had both hands on your shoulders keeping you underneath the water.

The knife had already been pulled out so blood oozed out of your wound and into the pool, turning it a dark crimson color.

He watched as the life eventually left your eyes, your body going limp. Humming, he picked up your lifeless body then got out the pool.

“You actually did it? You killed her?” The woman from earlier spoke, “Yes Mary, the bitch actually thought I loved her” he laughed.

Mary chuckled, taking out her own dagger “Lay her down for me will you?” John obliged setting you down on the grass, watching as Mary kneeled down slicing your head clean off your body.

Standing back up, they both walked inside where Mary mounted your head on the wall. “She looks much better like this doesn’t she?” Mary purred, laying her head against John’s shoulder.

“She sure does babe, come on” John took her hand, leading her upstairs to your shared room. “Since she’s no longer here, why not try on your wedding dress?” He suggested, picking up your wedding dress from the bed and handing it to her.

Blushing, Mary took it and changed into the dress before admiring herself in the large mirror on the door. “She was so stupid, her and her family. They really thought this deal of theirs would work.” Mary giggled, turning to face John who only smirked “Fuck them and fuck her, she’s better off gone.”

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

*Meanwhile in hell*

“Alastor, you really should visit more. We have this festival coming up, you should come!” Rosie exclaimed, taking a sip of her tea.

Alastor merely chuckled,“My dear Rosie, I would love to join you bu-“ he’s cut off when a scream sounded in the air and something landed ontop of him, causing his seat to fall back onto the ground.

Rosie’s eyes widened with both excitement and curiosity upon peering over the table, “Oh my satan..”

[alexablissmark]

I love your writing and I was wondering if you could write a Hook fic where reader comforts him after the betrayal from Jack?

comforting hook <3 (and thank you for the compliment!)

*g/n reader but an explicit mention of Hook outweighing reader

it was a rough night for Hook. not only did he get back stabbed by one of his closest friends, he was sitting on a backstage storage crate looking like a total loser. after Jack's betrayal, Hook didn't really have any friends, at least not the way he used too. Team Taz ended long ago, Dan got injured, dad was always busy, y/n had other friends, and Jack... well, you know. Hook had nobody anymore, not that he minded, but god was it nice to have a friend, someone who you could really trust. someone who could empathize with him, and goddammit, someone who could give him a ride back to the damn hotel!

as countless backstage staff and talent walked by, no one even looked in his direction, almost as if they were actively avoiding him. wow, how pathetic.

Hook zoned out for bit while a few tears formed. but then he was pulled back into reality.

"hello? earth to Hook?" a soft voice said.

Hook snapped out of his small trance and looked at you. you looked in his eyes and noticed the tears starting to well-up. you sat next to him on the crate.

"you doing okay?" you asked.

"yea," he said while sniffling the tears so you couldn't see them.

you touched him on the arm.

"Hook...listen," you started, "i know how it feels, and i understand you probably don't even want to be around people right now, but i can't just let you go through what i did..."

you too, had been turned on by your former tag partner. god, what an awful night that was. you couldn't bear to see a friend go through that too! especially not one you had been chasing for the better part of a year!

he didn't say anything.

"look, how about we go back to my hotel room? didn't you guys share a room?" you asked.

"yea," he said.

"and your dad isn't here tonight, is he?

"nah," Hook replied.

"okay. get your stuff," you said.

"k."

when you were driving back, it really started to dawn on you how little Hook actually talks. maybe that's what made you two such good friends, he prefers to listen to you ramble, while occasionally looking at you where he probably shouldn't, and you talk about the latest drama or cute thing your cat did. but once you got into the hotel room, the narrative flipped.

you listened to Hook for what seemed like hours, talking about how much Jack had hurt him. how lonely he felt on those crates. how he felt like nothing but a burden to those around him in those moments.

but he also said how much he appreciates you, and how much your friendship means to him. that's when you swear you saw some tears falling down his cheeks, but he was quick to wipe them away. he said he's glad to have you as a friend, and if you were to be his only friend, he wouldn't particularly mind that. it's a risk to trust people after all.

and then Hook did something completely out of character.

he hugged you.

you were kinda shocked at first, but quickly embraced him in your arms as he buried his head into your shoulder, and you moved your hand up to his head to comb through his hair.

"thank you," he whispered. "thank you for being here for me."

"anytime," you said. "let's go to bed."

"like this?" he asked.

"yeah, like this."

it was a pain to move him off you the next morning. Hook's arms were around you tight and him outweighing you did not help. eventually, you did wake up early to surprise him with some Doritos. when you gave it to him, he smiled a wide, genuine smile.

he thought about kissing you, but he didn't. and you'd be lying if you said you weren't thinking the same thing.

"next time for sure though," Hook thought.

hope u liked! felt like taking a more angsty route idk

[linalavender]

How Tatsuki Fujimoto writes Affection

First of all I would like to give massive credit to Tiktok user @campaign_baby for their Tiktok I saw on this that really made me think of it alot more

I will Bring up Examples from:

Shikaku

Mermaid Rhapsody

Goodbye Eri

Fire Punch

Chainsaw Man Part 1 (Quite a big spoiler in this will give fair warning)

Fujimoto has a sort of strange method he uses to write that a character Loves/cares deeply for someone. And its The character either being willing to be consumed or to provide sustenance to someone, Or to consume the other person. Examples:

Shikaku

After Shikaku confesses her love for Yucel, He rushes to the hospital to offer her his blood, Making her into an immortal vampire just like him. Yucel has also fallen for Shikaku, its basically his confession of love, He wants to live with her Forever.

Its drawn in a way you can tell its such an act of compassion too.

Mermaid Rhapsody

"I loved her so much that I thought, If it was by someone with a smile as pretty as hers, Maybe being eaten wouldn't be so bad."

Toshihides Dad feels the exact same way about his Mom as Toshihide feels about Shijyu. Mermaids eat humans, But that never mattered to either of them.

Goodbye Eri

In Yuutas Movie about Eri, He writes her to be a Vampire, because he wouldnt actually mind to be her sustenance, In his movie, he loves Eri so much. (I genuinely cant read this fucking story without sobbing, Rereading it again just to get this screengrab just made me cry for like 20 min help)

Fire Punch

This one is Pretty straight forward, Agni with his regenerative powers feeds his village by continuously chopping of his Arm so they dont all starve to death. But more importantly he does this to prevent his sister from doing it aswell. He doesnt want her to suffer that pain so he takes sole responsibility for providing himself to the village.

Agni also later feeds his followers with the help of Togata Chopping of the part of his face that isnt on Fire. I think this has more todo with making sure Togata gets fed rather than his followers, To Agni Togata means alot.

⚠️Chainsaw Man Part 1 (Spoilers for the Final arc)⚠️

When Power is about to Die, Power not only offers her own blood For Denji to Drink so he can get back to health, But Pochita also offers a small part of himself so she can come back as a Powerful Devil.

And ofcourse the big one is Denji Eating Makima. He obviously has to and all for the sake of erasing her. But he explicitly says it wasnt an Attack, It was an act of Love.

Its such a fascinating thing that the idea of consuming someone can be concidered something you do to a cherished one, as an affectionate thing. I guess as Denji mentions that you basically become one with eachother in a way if you consume them.

But this is such a Weird thing Right? Where does this idea even originate from? Well ofcourse we can only Speculate but I really think he took on inspiration from his own life here, Because he has actually done this to someone he loved. Yes, Seriously.

Tatsuki Fujimoto eating his deceased Pet Fish

In the Authors notes for "Tatsuki Fujimoto Before Chainsaw Man: 22-26" Fujimoto shares a story from when he was 24:

"Even though we were poor, we had a pet Japanese rice fish. I found it dead one summer. I went to toss its body into the trash like in Parasyte, but my girlfriend said she wanted me to bury it, So off I went to the park, alone. I tried to bury it under this big tree, but the ground was too hard, my hands got all dirty and I had no hole to show for my effort. Out of Options, I figured I would pretend I had buried the fish and left it lying there on top of the ground. As I watched it for a little while, ants found the body and began to carry it away. Im not sure what came over me, but in that moment, love for that pet fish welled within me for the first time. I brushed the ants away, and then Ate it."

You can read the full story here

It has that "Wait what the hell am I reading" Charm to the story like alot of his works, But theres something so weirdly beautiful about this story, Somehow stricken with grief and love for this fish, He ate it. As Denji says, its not an attack, his fish is part of him now and its an act of love. So strange, yet so Beautiful.

Anyways thanks for reading this insanely long post if you even got this far I appreciate it!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not telling my cousin i know he’s gay?

at the beginning of summer, my parents and i (20NB) visited my dad’s side of the family in the south. we stayed with an aunt and uncle, but the only person who really matters here is their son/my cousin (17M). i’d say he and i aren’t necessarily close. we get along just fine when we visit, but never really talk outside of that. i still care a lot for him, but we just don’t communicate much.

earlier this year, i heard from my dad that he got a boyfriend. i thought to send him my congrats, being the only other openly queer member of the family, but then i questioned why my dad even knew that. his side of the family is deeply conservative, and i knew for a fact that this kid’s dad had genuinely cried when trump lost the elections. it didn’t feel right for that knowledge to be so public, especially considering he and my dad aren’t that close, either. i asked him if my cousin had told him himself, and he said no. i asked him if my cousin had given permission to disclose that. he didn’t know how to respond to that. i’d previously been outed against my will to this side of the family, and it became obvious that that’s what happened to him, as well. i asked if his parents knew, and my dad said no. despite telling everyone and their dog about it, everyone was keeping it from them, likely out of fear for his safety. i was glad for that, at the least.

anyways. our visit went fine, in the grand scheme of things. what’s hanging on my mind is when i pulled my cousin aside one day to ask the family’s opinion on me, and if they ever talked about me behind my back. they all act cordially enough around me, using my proper name, pronouns, etc, but that’s to be expected. not only do they all care a lot for appearances, but when i first visited after coming out at 14, i had a horrible panic attack due to some of them constantly misgendering me. my dad gave them a stern talking to, and he’s the type of guy you don’t want to make angry, so thankfully it never happened again. i couldn’t ask this to my parents, because they tend to dance around the subject to protect me, or outright lie to me (i don’t hold it against them, as i said, they think it’s to protect me), but i knew he would tell the truth. i should mention that he hadn’t disclosed to me anything about his boyfriend or sexuality at this point, and i obviously wasn’t going to push.

he told me that yes, they did. i won’t go into the details, but it’s what i largely expected. after he finished explaining, he added “they talk a lot about me, too” or something along those lines. it was obvious what he was alluding to, but only because i already knew. had my dad not told me, i know that comment would’ve gone right over my head. so i played dumb. i laughed and asked what they could possibly say about him, and he was quick to stutter out something about how they gossip about everyone. the conversation stopped shortly after, but i can’t stop thinking about it.

the reason i lied and played dumb is that i wanted to give him some autonomy over his coming out. it was obviously ripped away from him by everyone else, and i know how shitty that feels. i wanted him to have a choice, for once. the thing is, i know i’m hypocritical for doing so. were i in his shoes, i’d want to know if i was forcibly outed, and by who. the reason that conversation even started was because i wanted someone to tell me the truth, and i ended up lying myself in the end. i don’t know. should i have told him? i wanted to give him the choice i never had, but i don’t know if that was selfish of me or not to project my feelings onto him like that. AITA for not telling him i knew?

What are these acronyms?