#i mean. i know why but it's still a very strange choice imo

[anghraine]

Just thinking about Gondor, as usual, and how wild it is that the (supposedly minority!) population of Gondorians who speak Sindarin and/or know Quenya at the end of the Third Age is likely higher than the combined number of all Elves still remaining in Middle-earth who can speak either.

Tolkien's specific statement is that more Men speak Sindarin or know Quenya than Elves do either, but while this group of Men would encompass people like the Northern Dúnedain, Théoden, etc, the letter directly links this to Gondorian usage of Sindarin and Quenya. That does make sense given the extreme population disparities involved; the vast majority of the Men in question would pretty much have to come from Gondor. Certainly, the only place where we actually see widespread, casual, local Sindarin usage among Men is Minas Tirith (though we know the linguistic patterns of MT are also characteristic of Dol Amroth and likely throughout much of Belfalas).

In addition, Tolkien tried to make sense of the limited evolution of Gondorian Sindarin by saying it's an acquired polite language among Númenórean aristocratic elites and scholars. In the actual process of writing LOTR there were various explanations (in one draft Faramir explains that Westron is a Gondorian conlang invented for dealings with other peoples, for instance). But Tolkien's standard justification for Gondorian Sindarin being so recognizable soon settled on an idea that Gondorian Sindarin is a language of the elites taught to them in childhood and used as a courtesy or mark of high status rather than evolving naturally.

I've always found this explanation a bit odd given that in the main narrative of LOTR, the Gondorian groups we see using Sindarin in full sentences/conversations rather than for specific names like Mithrandir or isolated words are mainly Gondorian soldiers outside of leadership roles. Faramir's men in Ithilien switch to "another language of their own" that turns out to be Sindarin. In the streets of Minas Tirith, "many" random soldiers call out to each other in Sindarin to gossip about Pippin. The almost entirely Gondorian armies following Aragorn praise the hobbits in Sindarin and Quenya.

But if we take Tolkien's statement at face value, the implication is that Númenórean elites in Gondor (i.e. a small fraction of the overall Gondorian population) outnumber the combined populations of all Sindarin- or Quenya-speaking Elves remaining in Middle-earth.

Many Elves have left or died, yes, but we're still talking about the Elves of Rivendell and of Lothlórien and all the ones scattered throughout Lindon, combined. If they really are outnumbered by Gondor's ruling aristocracy alone, I think the usual estimates of Gondor's overall population must be far too low. Tolkien simply noted that the population of Minas Tirith and its fiefs (presumably referring to Lossarnach, Anórien etc), while declined from the past, must have still been "much greater" than the combined Elvish populations of Rivendell, Lothlórien, and Lindon. That's not even getting into the more outlying fiefs of Gondor like densely-populated Belfalas.

(Alternatively, you could fanwank that Sindarin/Quenya are more widely spoken in Gondor than this and thus the population disparities, while certainly present, are not quite so extreme as this suggests. But that interpretation does require ignoring explicit statements from Tolkien in a way that something like theorizing population based on vague canonical suggestions is typically going to avoid doing.)

[xbomboi]

i wonder if people actually realize that darling and dexter being twins was a retcon

if it were up to me, they’d have always been presented as twins from the start, because that’s just way better imo, but i’m not CEO of Mattel so it’s NOT up to me and we have this weird inconsistency.

i mean, first of all, the start of the tv series already includes that weird period of time where darling just straight up Does Not Exist because at the end of the day this is just an extended toy commercial and there wasn’t any toy to advertise yet.

when darling WAS, however, introduced into the show, she strangely interacts with DARING more than she ever does dexter, despite her closeness to the latter that’s established as early on as her doll’s diary. my personal guess as to why that is has to do from the show capitalizing heavily on darling’s princess charming gimmick of being a girl who’s a knight, and as a result, benefited from portraying the fact that she and daring are, in a way, foils to each other.

anyway, when darling’s doll released, her bio listed her birthday as November 16th. dexter’s birthday had already been established as the 11th of February, so at this time, darling was not intended to be his twin.

and we can see this further shown by the word choice in darling’s diary. she refers to daring as her “oldest brother” and then goes on to refer to dexter as her “older brother”. which, sure, a twin can be older than the other, but in her doll diary, she’s gonna call him her twin if they want us to know that they’re twins.

i’m not sure exactly when the earliest instance of any official media referring to darling and dexter as twins was, but if my memory serves me correctly, i believe it was a post from the official Facebook that had stated they were twins. again, don’t quote me on that.

this discrepancy is important to me as someone who has to constantly fact check lore and timeline of events, because it very much so impacted Ever After High media released prior to the twin retcon’s ability to hold up. as far as I can remember, a good amount of the books were written under the initial status of darling’s birthday falling on 11/16 rather than 2/11 with dexter, the Susanne Selfors books coming to mind in particular. but i could be wrong, because i’m not going to reread all of those books just for this post.

the updated birthday for darling ended up being the one they stuck with. a brief scroll on the official Ever After High Instagram page will show as much, with birthday posts for dexter & darling on the same day. there is the tidbit of information that dexter is still older by a few seconds (not sure if this was ever officially stated, i’m only going off of the wiki for this one detail), but i honestly think that’s only included as a way to try and rectify the past instances of darling or possibly anyone else referring to dexter as her older brother.

as of today, it seems like everyone understands darling and dexter to be twins, and if they are familiar with the past retcon, they prefer the twin change and are glad it was made. i’ve never witnessed anyone say anything like “ugh, i really wish they wouldn’t have made darling dexter’s twin and kept her younger!!”.

still, it’s interesting that it happened. i call it what it is: a retcon. and most people hear that term and associate it with negativity. which, to be fair, in terms of writing, it more often than not absolutely is. but in this isolated case, despite it making some of the supplementary pieces of media for the series confusing (though the show and books/diaries take place in a different continuity anyway), i see this as a good thing. right off the bat, it makes less sense to me that the Charmings would intentionally go on to have not just one but two other children individually after daring with him being the successful golden child they wanted. it makes more sense that they decided to have one other child just for the hell of it and happened to end up with two.

also, and i don’t have the source for this so i’m just going based off of memory, apparently the grade-level cut off isn’t in the fall in the Ever After High universe, because daring, dexter, and darling are all intended to be in the same grade according to what i believe was one of the writers or producers or something of the sort for the tv show. and i make that conclusion about the cutoff not being in the fall because daring’s birthday is April 2nd, and since he’s older than dexter & darling, they’d have been born in February of the following year, meaning in order for them to be in the same grade together, the grade level cut off couldn’t fall anywhere within the roughly nine months gap between April to the next February. which, if you’ve done the math, you’ll have realized must mean that either the cut off for the next grade either falls sometime late February anywhere after the 11th, is on the 1st of April, or is any day in the month of March.

darling being in the same grade as daring and not a grade (or two) below also makes daring and rosabella work considering that, being her roommate, rosabella would be in whatever grade darling is in, and were she to be anymore than a grade below daring, there’d be a questionable age gap. not to mention with darling herself and apple. jesus. so it’s definitely a positive that’s not the case. and to anyone who may have been confused before, this is also why dexter can room with a character like hunter, because he too is in the same grade.

or maybe this is a show for babies and nothing matters.

[butchjesus]

I find it fascinating that in the 2015 film instead of naming victor's brother after one of his two brothers from the novel, they call him henry. they have not one but two brother names to choose from, they could have easily called him william or ernest, but they didn't. they also could have had the character be a sister and named her elizabeth, but they didn't. however, the name they picked wasn't out of thin air, either—they named him henry, like henry clerval. I know this film was by no means faithful to its source material, nor is it required to be, but this is just such a strange point in the writing to me. this was an intentional decision. why would they do that?

the way I'm choosing to spin it is that they wanted the inciting incident, the death that haunts the narrative and drives victor's cause, to be (at least inspired by) the person who victor loved most (and of course with this particular victor that couldn't possibly be a woman), and so they chose henry, victor's very best friend and character foil, with whom many have expounded upon the queer subtext present in the novel. but why make them brothers? could be a handful of reasons, maybe what kept them from leaning into the other queer themes obvious in the film. the likely culprit (if any) by my guess is that they wanted to solidify motivation for the relationship with victor and his father as "the family disappointment," a position sharpened by the loss of his older brother for which victor takes the blame. narratively I understand this choice, it's cleaner and a recognizable trope foothold, and also it sets up the brother/other motif with the creature*, but I think they could have just as easily done the same if henry was the child of close family friends or something to that extent, closer to the setup of the novel, because then his death could tarnish the whole family's reputation and relationships in addition to the internal turmoil, etcetc, thereby underlining the themes of the main story with victor and igor.

(*though by victor's own admission, he isn't trying to replace or bring back henry, but rather even a scale of life and death, so the connection of the creature to his literal brother also seems like something that could be effectively subverted to the story's benefit)

it could also potentially be that they did pick a name at random that just happened to be another novel character's—henry is a common name for the context, after all. but what a coincidence that would be (and far less fun than the alternative).

all this to say imo they could have left the rest of the origin story the same with henry filling the clerval role as victor's childhood best friend and still had his death play out as it did, and the rest of the story would be equally supported, but with stronger queer themes and overall narrative reinforcement in terms of the character relationships.

so, here's my rework:

victor and henry are teenagers, best friends since childhood, from two close and wealthy families, the frankensteins and the clervals. victor's parents adore henry, and so does victor (the latter in ways he cannot fully process, but he loves him differently than he loves his siblings, a way he's never loved anyone before). the two of them were always finding excitement and adventure, always together, and henry inspires so much wonder and ambition in victor, always eager to combat the bouts of malaise and despair that take victor every so often. his bright side, his sunlight.

one night when henry is staying with the frankensteins (a frequent occurrence), victor convinces henry to sneak out with him to play, giddy kids of maybe fifteen always looking for adventure. henry agrees, they go out, the storm hits. they get stuck. there's nothing to do but try to stay warm. they cling together, terrified. time scrapes on at an agonising crawl. victor gives up hope, sure they are to die there, and laments it being all his fault. even then, henry wants to comfort and cheer victor up, and so he gives up a piece of his clothes, maybe a housecoat or something, and wraps himself around his friend, despite victor's concerns and protests. henry insists they keep hope that someone will find and rescue them.

finally, someone does—but it's too late. henry is already dead, his cold body stiff and frozen, still shielding victor from the wind and cold of the calming storm. victor is bad off, barely still breathing, but alive, only because of henry's sacrifice. they have to pry henry's clinging corpse off of victor to get them both home. when they're back and the families get victor to explain what happened, they are shocked to hear that it was victor's idea to go out, and both parents blame him for henry's death, the clervals in grief and the frankensteins in shame (though all are grieving the loss of such a sweet and promising lad).

victor is understandably devestated. he not only lost his truest friend in the world, his first love that never got to fully blossom, in such a traumatic way, but now his parents were disgusted and angry with him, leading his siblings to keep their distance; the clervals have shut him out; and everyone else they know has heard the news from the adults that victor frankenstein killed the clerval lad with those crazy whims of his. victor lost everything in that storm, and now he is alone and disgraced.

the film is a love story already. what better way to drive home the turmoil of victor and igor's relationship and victor's character arc in general than having the big reveal be that victor feels responsible for killing his best friend and first love, and having the physical manifestation of his guilt and unresolved feelings and relentless obsession with overcoming death (the creature) drive him away from and literally try to kill his new love?

anyway, the sketches at the top are reworks of my novel clerval design to have him be about fifteen or sixteen when he died. if you read all this I'm giving you a very smooth river rock or a piece of seaglass

[blindmagdalena]

i’m pretty sure it was mentioned that his bday is feb 22nd; that’s the corporate one at least, he matching w george washington

yeah that was published in a tweet, but i’m taking it with a grain of salt honestly. it’s REAL strange to me that they would change his very publicly known birthday (July 4th) from an American holiday to an American presidents birthday.

Soldier Boy told him he was born in the spring, so maybe it’s supposed to be implied he chose that birthday for himself to be closer to what he thinks his real birthday is, but it was definitely an odd choice to put in a tweet imo.

that said, if we’re meant to believe this means he was able to dig through Vought’s records and find his birthday, it’s a very odd coincidence, and why wouldn’t Vought just go with that, considering it’s still a very American day?? make it make sense, Edgar!!!

anyways that would make Homelander a Pisces and I don’t know what to do with that information 😭

[arcplaysgames]

Okay before adachi, a quick summary of Slinks

COMPLETED: AEON

I admittedly like Marie's arc a lot, though it does suffer from feeling very inorganic, being added after the fact in Golden. But given the point of her, that almost suits her? She is the constant spare, she exists in a room that lives in the subconscious mind, she has no memories of before. Like, of course she has a strangeness to her, like a hanger-on to creation.

I am still unsure who the fuck she is since it wasn't revealed in her max scene, but she feels like a by-product of creation, like the leftovers of some alchemic process that was needful and necessary, and has the baggage of not having been part of that necessity, if that makes sense?

Anyway, her resolution is realizing she is making memories, so even if she started with nothing, she is far from that now. Good for her! Thanks for the comb. I'm gonna donate it to a cultural museum.

ONGOING: FORTUNE

Over in Naoto's link, this Phantom Thief person keeps stealing stuff from the Shirogane Estate and planting the items to be found around Inaba.

Because, yanno, it's probably Naoto's grandfather who is trying to get them to reconnect to the passion of their youth and remind him that he's allowed to be a child still. I mean, if its not that, I will be fucking stunned.

Naoto's link is surprising me in how.... meh it is. I was really geared up to either be really angry or really relieved (like I was with Kanji's) but Naoto is giving me nothing! He's way more interesting in the main scenario, honestly, why he gets to do stuff.

But maybe there will be an upcoming turn. Admittedly, I think the entire idea of Naoto's arc revolving about this little sideplot is just Meh. I'll try to finish it out but who knows.

COMPLETE: SUN

Oh my GODDDD I almost ended up dating her just because THIS CHOICE was so fucking brutal. Like, yanno? Power to her, doing her confession in such a powerful way. "Either stay and be my boyfriend or please leave," I have tremendous respect for that kind of ultimatum. No nonsense.

BUT MAN, OOF, IT HURT!!!!

I haven't been recapping her because I was waiting for it to take a turn and become great, but this is a weak Sun route imo. I dunno if anything is going to beat the really deep, dark nihilistic take on the Sun from P3P, like that shit was amazing.

Anyway, good luck to Yumi, I think she should go into politics.

ONGOING: STRENGTH

for real i only did some strength bc I had more days to burn before Dec 22 and there was NO ONE ELSE AVAILABLE to hang out with, so I figured whatever I'll take the juice for fusion

but oh my god Strength is so fuck boring. Koromaru was a dog who could not talk and was so much more compelling than the sports boys. i am soooo booooooooored. i miss Rio.

Some more fun bits:

NAOTO'S ASSIST MOVE IS A FUCKING DRIVE-BY SHOOTING WITH A SEMI-AUTO ON HIS FUCKING BIKE WITH THE LIL BASKET IN FRONT I'M CRYING

Naoto is amazing, shame their Slink sucks

This outfit for Kanji feels like a reference I'm not getting, is it a Yakuza thing? That's also published by SEGA.

It's not his cutest outfit tho so I put him back in Gekkoukan. HEY ALSO, I HAVE THE GEKKOUKAN UNIFORMS FOR THE BOYS BUT I CAN'T GET THEM FOR THE GIRLS? I talked to Kashiwagi after the December tests and no luck. 8C 8C I wanna see them in in Gekkou.....

also i love kanji, did i mention that? have i perhaps mentioned that i love kanji? also that yukiko is best girl? i'm just wondering if that came up.

I GOT THE SPACE BUNNY!

also dang satan ur tiddies

[crownin-thestars]

The thing is this clearly was not just for the money sapnap said he said no to the deal at first then they talked for months and he agreed because he wants to give twitch true competition and he said the CEO acknowledged the bad basically and agreed on things with him and he’s going to work on making a change sapnap is going to spearhead change

Yea kick is bad but so is twitch and so since sapnap can’t get anything done to change twitch he’s going where he can make some change and I think it’s good he’s trying to use his status to make change it’s much better IMO for someone like sapnap to be working with kick trying to make it better at her than just letting it sit in the state it’s in with the creators it has

It can’t change and get better and be true competition for twitch without proper good creators going to it and trying to make changes to it

Doesn’t mean you have to like it but it’s still inherently good he’s trying to change it for the better and you can’t just say it was for the money

If truly was all money for him then why wouldn’t he just take the first deal? Why would he take his time to type out such a long message explaining how he said no at first, explaining how he talked to the CEO and saying how he really thinks he can incite change

Firstly OH MY GOSH THANK YOU FOR NOT BEING TOXIC?? /gen I was afraid I'd have people come harass us after sending that out. Sorry if it sounded really rude at all, I have a bad habit of matching a person's energy

I understand where you're coming from here, I respect your opinion, I'm just mostly upset about people being toxic at Ranboo for talking about it. I think it's great Sapnap wants to change it but ultimately its still not a safe place for those affected by the bigotry on Kick, considering most of his fanbase is lgbt+ and also a young impressionable audience, and they are being exposed to bigotry right off the bat if they at all find their way to the other streamers on Kick because of the recommended feed

I also think it's strange how he brought up that Twitch refused to give him a good deal, when he rarely ever streamed on there anyway, that also makes it sound as if he's just there for the money. And also the idea that he needs to be forced to stream, but if he loves streaming, why does he need to be forced? Those aren't directly related to why it's become an issue (I think), but I just thought it was strange of him to say these things

I'm not sure if this is true or not but I've also heard multiple people say that Sapnap slept through a meeting he was supposed to have with Twitch executives? I'm not so sure on how true this is though, I just brought it up since you seem to know more about recent things with Sapnap and just wanted to check with you

I still this that it wasn't a very good choice for Sapnap to have signed with Kick since the platform still is not at all safe for a lot of his fanbase. Its awesome that he wants to make a positive change to it but I feel like it's more important that he should be more responsible with where he wants to bring his community and its also important that he protects them as well

[magical-xirl-4]

Ugh, I had to see a disgusting comment on Twitter from someone saying that he wants to "see Aerith's death FF16 style or otherwise the story will collapse" or something like that. Like, I know Twitter has trashy people like him all the time, but his comment was just the worst. Why does everything in FF7R have to hinge around Aerith's death??? I understand the themes that scene from the original game was conveying, but still!! FF7R doesn't have to follow that scene! I want Aerith to live so she can get a happy ending AND to spite losers who hate her, like that one guy on Twitter who made that disgusting comment about her.

It’s definitely not the first time I’ve seen weirdos like that. When they describe it, it sounds like they like torture porn or something, it’s very strange. Wanting to see her die in a gruesome way so they could be satisfied just straight up makes them sexist, plain and simple. If you hate Aerith and/or want her to be brutally murdered, I’m sorry but you’re just a misogynist.

Her death isn’t the thing that makes the game special imo, it is a stand out feature because it was so revolutionary, but this is a new generation of gaming, doing the exact same thing as they did in 1997 will achieve nothing. FFVII’s original story is already complete and available for you to play if you have the game on PS1, or if you have $15 and have a PS4/PS5. It’s basically perfect in its own right, and making Rebirth and the R series in general doesn’t take away the fact that it’s still there and exists. FFVIIR is going for something new, and it is especially going for something new regarding Aerith. The developers have spoken through her, she is the most important character in Remake, and she knows the future; everything points to her fate being different. Everything in Remake points to things being different, and the Rebirth trailer reminds us of that too. Doing something new for a new generation makes sense.

I also want Aerith to be happy and have a happy ending. She didn’t want to die, and it’s clear that she wants to be with her friends because she is lonely after her death*. Having a character rewrite her fate and say “no!! I get to choose my destiny!” is powerful and moving. She gets to make the choice in wanting to live, going against a pre-ordained path and even going against the beliefs of many players, meaning that her taking back agency is powerful even in a meta sense.

I think Aerith having this sort of development is absolutely fitting for her character. It’s so her. It’s so Aerith. And quite simply, that makes the dudebros mad. They hate to see a female character being autonomous and independent, especially Aerith, who subverted expectations in 1997 with her feminism. Her living will basically be a “fuck you” to them, because she’s going to subvert expectations again, and be amazing while doing it.

*: The original Advent Children script for the end credits said that although she was smiling at Cloud, she looked sad (or lonely, I can’t remember that clearly). And no, just because Zack is dead, it doesn’t mean she wants to be with him. She isn’t shown interacting with him outside of Advent Children in the Lifestream (who was there to help out Cloud), in Case of the Lifestream: White, she calls Cloud her lover (a very canon book unlike the next mentioned one), and in Maiden of The Planet, where she actually does have an interaction with Zack, she rejects him. But that one’s not canon apparently, so they basically have nothing to suggest that they would be together in the Lifestream. Case in point, Aerith is better off alive with her friends and her lover. I don’t care if Zack lives or dies again to be honest, but it’d actually be nice if he lives so he can be with Cloud. (Hmm, interesting how Zack living never bothers the dudebros and only makes them overjoyed that a character goes against their fate, isn’t it? 🤔)

[esther-dot]

I agree that D&D didn’t do as much time as they should in emotionally tying the audience to the actual good guys (Bran/Sansa) so that the GA would loose faith in Dany/Tyrion but cheer new favs like Sansa/Bran. But GRRM is possibly making a similar mistake. Dany & Tyrion have way too many chapters because he likes writing villains (I refuse this grey nonsense) but to have some emotional pay off he needs to flesh out the story of the actual good guys a bit more for the GA to connect the dots.

His treatment of Bran is particularly strange to me, and I always have to check and recheck the number of Bran chapters in a book because there are so few. On the one hand, I understand that without as many characters and events happening where he is Martin doesn't need them, but knowing he's the endgame king, it's an odd choice to keep his presence so minimal. I don't think Martin will change what he's doing there too much though because there was a quote from D&D about Martin's surprises in the books and it sounded like who will become king was also meant to be something of a wtf moment.

That’s a conundrum though because I don’t think what we have now is a sufficient response to the issues raised in the series with our other kings/queens because being a good person isn’t the same as being a good ruler, being a kind person doesn’t actually mean one is wise enough to discern what is justice in a difficult situation, and I’m not quite sure how it will be clear to the reader that Bran is capable unless Martin starts giving him some more space? And give him the opportunity to make those kinds of decisions? I suppose upon his reunion with the Starks we might get that, but if he wants the kingship to be a surprise…I’m hesitant to expect it. I really don’t know what to think about that.

As for the villains/morally Greg stuff (autocorrect, but it makes me laugh so I’m leaving it!) Martin likes having good people make mistakes and bad people do good at times. That’s how I see his version of morally grey. It isn’t him rewriting morality and saying actually mass murder as an oopsie or actually child murder is understandable or actually burning people alive is ok if done for a good purpose. All he wanted to do (imo) was say, people aren’t one note. Good people can hurt others, bad people can be sympathetic.

Fans want to think that because someone they love did the bad thing it’s no longer bad, and that may be true for some entertainment, but it isn’t true for this series. There are still very clear right/wrong issues. The Hound did save Sansa, but he is a child murderer. Martin thinks it’s interesting for both things to coexist in a character; he never intended for fans to say, “oh, kiddie killing isn’t his fault, it isn’t that bad.” No fam, it is really that bad. Slavery is that bad, needless wars that lead to the rape and death of countless people are really that bad too.

Complexity doesn’t mean saying two different things don’t exist in the same space, it’s accepting that those things do exist in the same space, that very few people are entirely one or the other. Villains can have some good impulses, they can have human feelings, even when they’re victimizing others. Tyrion isn’t a good person, but he did intervene on Sansa’s behalf, he didn’t rape her, and he did offer for her to marry someone else. Others might not have done that. However, we know this man is marrying her to take her home from her, wants a child with her so that he could have power and if that happens she would likely die. He craves love! He wants to be loved just as Sansa wants to be loved. But he hates her because she won’t give it to him. He wants to kill his family because they denied him and abused him. We sympathize with some of it, are meant to be horrified by the rest. It is all a jumble, and Martin thinks that makes for interesting characters. I truly don’t believe he ever intended for fans to take it where they have.

I suppose that’s part of why Martin feels free to explore his villains a lot more than his heroes. He thought people would love them in that way, for the complexity, and not flatten them by denying what they are. But because of that fandom habit, I think you’re right that his planned endgame may not be as rewarding for his readers as he expected because it seems he misjudged how many of them would take up irrational hatred for Sansa, and considering how many non Dany stans wholehearted believe she’s a hero, it looks as if he’s overestimated the consequences of having us travel along with our heroes’ antagonist.

Of course, we can’t forget that he isn’t going to try to wrap up the series in a single chapter. He has promised over and over that the story will take up the space it needs to be good, he isn’t going to pull a D&D, and the joy of the Starks reuniting, the defeat of the Others, their choices in the aftermath, their rise...I literally get goosebumps thinking about it. So, I don’t lose hope that he can do it, I just think it will be a delicate dance.

[utilitycaster]

Wizard Breakdown Tracker, Episode 138

I think it is easy to forget that literally every episode that aired in the year of Our Common Era, 2021, has taken place over the span of *Spurt voice* eleven days. Well. It has. And, indeed, the last seven episodes have covered roughly two days.

The reason this is only about wizard NPCs is because they serve as a sort of audience surrogate in that they are nerds who don't go outside, vs. D&D PCs who see more shit in two to eleven days than most people would see in a lifetime; case in point, Essek's current state of shock. This is also making it very hard to check in with the other wizards. But also this is not about accuracy, even though I am usually right about everything. This is about...honestly I'm not sure, other than wizards.

What I'm trying to say is:

Caleb Widogast is a PC, not an NPC, and is not included in these strange statistics*.

Currently sidelined: Pumat Sol, Oremid Hass, Ludinus Da'leth, Astrid Beck, E_dwulf Grieve

Obligatory self-indulgent Vess Derogna song parody: Tomb....takers, killed you in your room, they’ll end the world soon but hey/you cult wizard, lost in a blizzard, whatever you’ve done, well, murdered, you’ll stay

Trent Ikithon: I am 100% serious that while I have made Narrative Sense In Actual Play Media in the rock on which I will cast my Temple of the Gods, if the final boss is Trent riding on Uk'otoa...I won't be mad. Like does it seem tonally off? Yes; Critical Role is not humorless high fantasy by any means** but they are not actively trying to seem like something that should be airbrushed on a van, usually. But will it be pretty awesome? Yeah.

Trent on the other hand is pretty fucking mad, presumably, because Caleb continues to leave him on read and also picked up a little something called Mind Blank, which is actually useful and not in fact No Thoughts Head Empty. With that said I don't think it's increased; I think we're just at a steady simmer.

Conclusion: 7/10.

Essek Thelyss: Okay I am a dabbler in both cosmic horror and mathematics; I enjoy many elements of both but am an expert in neither. But if I may drop the jokes for a second, how incredible is it that in this alien setting of a city that is an unwitting and unwilling amalgam of consciousnesses, with all the trappings of classic cosmic horror, two people decided to take a scientific risk with things seen as forbidden or foreign by their respective cultures...and won.

I don't know what will befall Essek and he's clearly still having a pretty rough time of it, even though unlike Caduceus I don't think he was brought to the brink of profanity again, yet; but no matter what happens at least he'll have the nat 20 of instant long rest. No matter what happens...he was right about dunamancy. Fucking ironic how much potential the dynasty is wasting, really.

With that said he does have a red eye now even though all he (and, to be fair, Fjord, Veth, and Caduceus as well) did was fight off an eldritch abomination without rolling what must have been like a 20 Wisdom save DC. Like, he (and Fjord, Veth, and Caduceus) do not deserve this. You think this man has a positive wisdom score? In this economy? (actually, he might, I say, looking at Caleb 'Wisdom Ostensibly 16' Widogast).

Conclusion: keeping him at 8/10. It's funny because he is fully on an emotional roller coaster but it's averaging out to about an 8/10 each time; it's just that he's constantly beset by horrors beyond imagination and really terrible rolls but also incredible validation of his beliefs that had so long been ignored. The man's mental state is basically a sine wave, which interestingly enough is itself influencing his mental state.***

Yussa Errenis: The Prodigal Most Interesting Man in Exandria returneth! Wensforth, play Freedom! 836 PD. You know, he should probably feel a little bit of shame, because he should know better, but also he probably does not. Anyway please enjoy the lines I had for Yussa while he was trapped in Cognouza that I did not ultimately use:

aha no don’t get your consciousness sucked into an ancient city you’re so sexy

Here am I floating in an ancient and terrible world-devouring city/far out in the planes/Threshold crests are blue and there’s nothing I can do

Making bad choices and joining the voices it’s...YUSSA ERRENIS

Conclusion: I'm going to say 6/10 but rapidly decreasing. Also Wensforth has had several days to clean the tower...maybe he just won't tell Yussa? He probably will though.

Allura Vyesoren: she's going to facepalm so long that Kima starts timing it, isn't she. She's going to get a series of messages like "hey so the Mighty Nein seem to be doing well! they freed me from the city which sucked me in like some spicy ramen when I did an astral projection...also something happened in my tower?" She's going to just stare out the window for a long moment. She is going to ask herself, much as I have many a time, what the fuck is in the water in Wildemount.

Conclusion: 3/10. Hey, at least she got some news on the Mighty Nein and the city!

Known Gem Wizard Hotsauce Lutefisk: consider: after over 35 years, give or take, in your own perception of time, trapped in a gem, you finally come across some people. Consider that one of them apparently can't resist a big shiny wizard trap. Now consider that this guy went into your +1 Demiplane of Wizard Murdering AND got his mind fully schlorped by Aeorians and yet you are still, inconceivably, stuck in this fucking gem. This is where he draws the line? At a teensy little bodily possession? What the fuck dude.

Conclusion: I'm pretty sure he's already a few large handfuls of iron filings short of a component pouch (which is to say, full up on the batshit) already but this cannot be helping.

*this will be the first but probably not the last cosmic horror and/or math joke because I actually forgot to make cat jokes last night, so thoroughly did the Nein demolish Cree. Speaking of Cree's fate...call that a Furrier Transform.

**high fantasy is a complicated distinction and the wikipedia page includes Discworld which does not seem right to me; it also includes the Belgariad, a series for which I have great fondness having inhaled the first three books while sick in bed as a fourteen year old and having reread several times, but which is explicitly written by a guy who was like what if I made something as formulaic as possible but also literally everyone is either super sarcastic or a huge moron but anyway imo High Fantasy is actually frequently fucking hilarious and a sign of the skill of the creator(s) is whether it's hilarious by accident or on purpose.

***something something Heisenberg uncertainty principle. I had a joke here but it got very convoluted and that is actually not a pun although if you understand why it could be a pun, good work.

[justagirlsearchingforamuse]

Also, I just wanna say that people who like Cassie, Jules, Elliot, and other kinda problematic characters that you don't have to justify why you like them. Imo this fandom is very weird and is quick to dislike characters for making stupid choices or choices they themselves don't agree with. Imo these characters are in an uncomfortable part of their lives and maybe even the worst parts. I personally think that the fandom is too harsh on a lot of characters and doesn't know how to hold characters accountable whilst also wanting them to get better. You don't have to like every single thing about these characters and imo it's healthy to disagree and not like their choices. which may seem ignorant, strange, and more. I don't like a lot of Rue's actions and behavior towards those around her. But people have so much empathy and sympathy for her which I do as well but I feel a lot of people are willing to water down the effects her using drugs has on her. Imo she was kind of a danger to Gia, she literally broke down her door. She actively puts Gia through the trauma again and again and I understand that she is redeeming herself and trying to be better. But it really doesn't take away the fact that she actively put her family in danger, getting those drugs from Laurie and has caused a lot of trauma to Gia growing up.

I feel that a lot of what these characters do is not given much empathy and I feel that's the biggest problem with the fandom. They don't know how to say they don't like what so and so did and hold them accountable for it but still support them learning from their mistakes and shit. I mean this a lot especially since this is constantly used for Rue and Maddy but people rarely use it for the other characters. There is a lot of empathy and sympathy for Rue but I think Cassie was kinda right in what she was saying at her core. Don't agree with the fucked up shit of comparing her dad and Rue's and she was foul for that. But Cassie feels she's been treated unequally compared to Rue who imo is given more leeway and isn't really held accountable for her actions or its quickly swatted away with the words that Rue is addicted to drugs and it excuses most behavior a lot of other characters have been harshly criticized for. A lot of other characters such as Cassie have been harshly criticized for treating their parents in less than great ways but Rue has often put her family in danger. Yes, she’s on drugs and I understand that and drugs change people at their core, make them zombies only thinking of drugs but I wish people would still hold her accountable. Jules is treated like she is nothing but a cheater and they base her as a person and her intentions off of her actions and they’re right to hold her accountable but they demonize her and lot of other characters. These are teenagers who make stupid choices and yeah they should be held accountable but should their bad actions really define them as people and their intentions? imo no. The way Cassie worded it and actively compared her and Rue’s dad was foul but I kinda understand what she was saying. Why does Rue get to get away with so many things she is looked down upon for? Why does Rue get to gaslight and manipulate her family and get off with just a slap on the wrist because she’s a drug addict. She worded it poorly but I personally understand what she is saying. Lexi is praised for having a moral compass and I understand that but what happens when she starts to act badly, or irrationally, you shame characters for acting irrationally and acting on their emotions in that moment. Love Lexi but like I already know that people would watch her under a fucking microscope if she started doing less than smart shit. It’s easier to analyze characters for their actions and paint them as bad or good because of what you are seeing and try not to empathize or understand them. It’s easier to simplify a show that’s all about the messy, complex, and complicated moments in these teens lives, hold these teens accountable for their bad actions but it doesn’t make them as people. You don’t know how many times I have heard, Cassie and Nate deserve each other even though he’s clearly abusing her and manipulating her just like fucking Maddy. People would rather admit that Jules deserves to be berated and told some of the most vile shit ever because she cheated on Rue and cheaters are bad. Yes, cheating is bad and terrible and of course she should be held accountable but why demonize her and act like every act of abuse and injustice towards her is deserved? Jules was wrong for cheating but fuck I still like her and I still have hope she will get better and learn to focus on herself. Not many people bother to look deeper into why these characters do irrational and immoral shit. Cassie is literally being treated as being pathetic, her sister literally argues with her just moments before she was trying to fucking slit her wrists with a corkscrew. Just because Lexi didn’t turn out like Cassie doesn’t mean that their mom literally isn’t negligent, cheated on their dad, and has actively emotionally neglected them. People react differently to traumatic situations and just because some people act in ways that are irrational and ways you may not agree with doesn’t mean this character is wrong for feeling the way they do. No one bothered to think about the fact Jules was probably self-harming again and how she was still and still is supporting Rue through all of it. If she truly didn’t give a fuck, why would she even think to tell her mom? why would she take all that verbal abuse? Jules cheating was bad and she should be held accountable for it but to say she didn’t care and to reduce their relationship down to just Rue was vulnerable and dependant but Jules took advantage of that. Not to mention, most of the characters if not all have abusive or negligent parents and most of the time, their fears and insecurities stem from what they their parents didn’t give them. I don’t excuse their actions and believe they have to deal with the consequences of their actions but like why not look deeper, and stop simplifying shit and imo I think a lot of the characters need therapy and help more than just being shamed for their bad and most of the irrational choices. 

[shrinkthisviolet]

So I was reading a post about how bizarre it is that Obi-Wan in the Kenobi series clearly cannot kill Anakin, like no matter how bad things get, he can’t do it. Bizarre, the post says, because of how that sits at odds with his insistence to Luke that he must kill Vader, or else the Emperor has already won. And on the face of it, that seems like a fair argument, except…that dichotomy already existed in ROTS, the Kenobi series just exacerbated it 🤷���♀️

Obi-Wan could’ve killed Anakin quickly in ROTS, but he delayed it for so long in that duel that ultimately Anakin’s “death” ended up being more painful than it should’ve been. Obi-Wan is kind of a hypocrite when it comes to Anakin, because his love for Anakin blurs with/morphs into attachment (they’re not the same thing, but when it gets to the point where someone you love dearly is committing atrocities and you still can’t straight-up kill them…love morphs into attachment) so much that he can’t fathom why Luke doesn’t want to kill Vader, because Luke doesn’t have that attachment and never did.

Luke didn’t know Vader or Anakin, he has no attachment to either of them really—Luke and Vader don’t really have a father-son relationship, because Vader’s actions meant that he wasn’t fit to raise his son, and Luke grew up with this idealized version of his father and has to reconcile that with the Sith Lord Vader. Obi-Wan has spent years rewiring his impression of Anakin, from “Anakin” to “Vader,” we see that beginning in the Kenobi series finale, it’s a long, nine-year process that gets him from “I’m sorry, Anakin, for all of it” to “you can’t win, Darth.” Luke reconciles the two as the same, Obi-Wan divorces them. And neither can understand the other’s perspective on that.

…all of this to say, the Kenobi series isn’t perfect (though I did enjoy it), and some of the critiques I’ve seen of it are valid, but this specific aspect is a strange critique imo. Obi-Wan’s reluctance to kill Anakin is nothing new—what this show does well, I think, is showing him start to let go. Recognizing that Anakin is truly dead, recognizing that his love for Anakin has morphed into attachment, recognizing that he has to let go in order to move forward. In a way, it further cements him as a Jedi—for ten years, he’s lingered in this hurt and grief and pain, but when he finally lets go and moves forward, he’s able to find light and laughter and love (in Leia, and then later in Luke).

That’s why he tells Luke to kill Vader. Not just for the dissolution of the Empire (though that is ofc his main motive), but because he knows the danger of loving someone so much that you think you can save them, refusing to kill them, and watching as they progressively get worse…and ultimately, Obi-Wan didn’t kill Vader/Anakin because he never could, but Luke could save himself this heartbreak.

Luke, of course, found another way. Part of this is because he was raised to be resourceful, and part of this was because he was raised with fierce love and practicality for 19 years. He had the kind of unconditional love for family, family names, etc (since Obi-Wan was raised communally, the statement “because he’s my father” doesn’t have the same meaning because the parental role in the Jedi Order is more spread out than for the general public).

He came to see Vader as Family, and he was stubborn, insistent, and yearning for Family, so he would stop at nothing to make that happen. Friends and Family for Luke are very much The Same Thing, and we see that so many times. Luke was going to save Vader and accept no other answer, and he had that choice because Vader wouldn’t hurt him severely after revealing he was his father. Vader isn’t furious with him like he is with Obi-Wan. So by the time Obi-Wan tried to save Vader…he failed, because Vader had moved firmly into hate. Luke was not only stubborn enough but also lucky/loved enough by Vader to have a chance to save him.

(Note that all mentions of love in this post are platonic, just to make that very clear.)

[mikyouknow]

Please! Rewatch the quiz! I need something to remind me that that actually happened.

I still vividly remember that day. Going out on a chill bike ride with my two best friends for the first time in months. Sitting in the cool grass. Having a picknick. Not too hot out, nice weather. AND THEN I GET HOME TO THE ABSOLUTEL SHITSHOW THAT HAPPENED THAT DAY! Because what the HELL even was that, I still haven't processed anything. My mind keeps erasing that memory until some days the it just hits me square in the face and knocks me out 😀

So yeah! I would love it if you talked more about it, might help to cope a bit xD

Okay anon you motivated me, you were my Final push, I’m Doing it ! 🗣

Also I love that story tho you really have a Vivid memory connected to this whole thing and I’m living for it 😂 you were just having a nice day and then Boom, all this mess 💀

But aight so I’m Watching it rn and will be taking notes Live as I watch Here we go:

My first thoughts is, when Dream decides to do the quiz, he seems so like, confident? And then as soon as he reads the description, his voice falters at ‘and now things are changing’ and I’m Dead 💀 his confidence from two seconds prior in that moment goes like 📉 then cue flustered laugh lmao

“Do you ever catch yourself staring at your bff?” Dream’s flustered laugh and being all like “these questions are gonna be so weird” uhhhhh dude what are you expecting you’re taking a are you in love with your best friend quiz 💀

HES SO DEFENSIVE ON THIS ONE LIKE- he keeps wanting to make excuses aww drema aww 😭 it’s okay !! George is pretty we Understand you staring king 😌

Like legit that’s the first question and he’s already so flustered and- MY GOD GEORGE HASNT SAID A THING I JUST REALIZED WAIT HOLD ON I NEED TO GO BACK-

Two scoffs. That’s it 🧍‍♀️

GEORGE JSJWNSOWNEEJEN HES NOT SAYING ANYTHING IM DYING WHAT

Even when Dream first goes ‘aight imma take the am I in love w my best friend test’ George is SILENT 💀

Listen- listen, I’m having a moment over this cause I don’t remember him being silent from the start I thought it was like a slow descent into him just going silent eventually, BUT NO he’s just Silent from the moment the quiz is brought up 💀 but gives like a slight scoff when Dream’s voice wavered at “changing” like he’s very much Listening, just being So silent.

I just can’t wrap my head around how he doesn’t answer any of Dream’s comments, Dream keeps being like ‘right? Like that’s normal, right? Like that’s not weird. Right?’ And George is just SILENT 💀

“Do you get jealous if he or she has a bf or gf” LMAO THIS QUESTION MY BELOVED

His answer is so weird I will die on this hill.

ALSO GEORGE S P E A K S for the first time in the quiz 😭🗣 but not much, he says ‘but’, cause, yk, they both know he do get jealous so.

Which, again. Weird as hell. Imma say it, I’ve never felt jealous of my best friend getting a partner like what ???? W h a t

But ofc when they’re so clingy on each other, like a partner would take the others place because they pretty much have each other in that spot already, so it makes sense huh

And that’s not platonic btw I wanna make that clear LMAO

I think the points of which George laughs are interesting. And there’s something interesting to his laugh too. I don’t see his face lighting up with it, if that makes sense. It’s like a, I wouldn’t say ‘nervous’ laugh but, I struggle to find a better word for it 🤔

AYO MY MANS DREAM SAYS I DONT KNOW TO IF HE GETS BUTTERFLIES FROM GEORGE I- 💀

THATS NOT AN I DONT KNOW QUESTION KING

EITHER YOU DO OR YOU DONT AND YOU KNOW IF YOU DO OR DONT LIKE W H A T

I have to sit with this one for a second like . What ? 🧍‍♀️

Butterflies.

I’ve never. In my life. Like.

That’s not- you can’t say you don’t know- THAT MEANS LIKE-

Dear lord.

Aight I’m moving on (not actually imma be awake thinking about this later. Not by choice, absolutely not. This just won’t leave my brain unfortunately.)

Hang on. George says something here when Dream says ‘I have no idea’ but I can’t tell what he’s saying ? Like he mumbles something whilst Dream starts talking at the same time and I can’t make it out and I wanna know what he says 💀🗣

I Think he says ‘what do you mean you have no idea?’ Which like, YEAH, you Should question him on that king 🧍‍♀️ but it’s interesting how quiet he is, like he barely pushes the question, and this is like the second ?? Time he’s spoken so far. 🧍‍♀️

Also Listen to how flustered Dream sounds my god💀

This quiz never should’ve happened what’s Wrong with him like is he this blind ?? Did he Really think taking this quiz was gonna end well ?? 💀

“TecHniCally🥴”

“My future is your future”

I feel like we’ve talked abt these LMAO such Romantic phrasing my god

Again him going ‘right?’ And George is Dead Silent 💀

It’s interesting, like I’ve reached the ‘dreams’ question now, and it’s hitting now and throughout this quiz how, Dream is Loudly deflective, but George is silently deflective. If that makes sense? Like he’s choosing not to speak so his words can’t be thrown back at him cause he Knows if he speaks it’ll be obvious. Whilst Dream over explains and fucks himself over p much lmao. They’re both just a mess around this subject 💀

“How would You be in my dream” is such a funny sentence from George LMAO he’s so defensive 💀 like even I have had dreams abt Dream, like you’re his Best Friend, ofc you have dreams abt him my guy 💀 deflecting it is so weird. So Weird

“I’ve never hugged you” Sad hours 😔

It’s interesting here. Cause they speak abt the whole ‘do you go out of your way for this person’ and Dream is stuck on if he should say ‘more than anyone else I know’ or not. Which, there’s ofc observations to be had here as well.

But ! What I found interesting here was how George goes onto say ‘you made me pay you’ when Dream says he edited his video for him. And how George keeps the ‘lie’ going for a very short bit before laughing slightly, by god he sounds so.. different? Like when he usually makes little lies to troll or stuff like that, he’s much more extra and keeps the bit going and- idk how to explain it but the tone of his voice is usually way different. Here he seems to, idk, struggle to keep that up. His laugh is also just like, somewhat toneless?

LMAO The MOMENT Dream got the question ‘what do you think abt their laugh’ George’s laugh Stops. 💀

“Do you ever think abt what it would be like to Kiss your best friend?”

THE SILENCE

Also,

how Dream read ‘kiss’ 🤝 how Dream read ‘changing’

Some words hit this man different huh LMAO

“Why did that take you so long” on the kiss question, CALL HIM OUT GEORGE 🗣

HRKEJEKEEJEKJEEIEJ HOW ARE THOSE- SORRY WHAT DREAM ??

“HOW ARE THOSE THE ONLY OPTIONS” ???

God, for real, I wish Dream would get to sit down with someone one day who just Listened to him speak and allowed him to slip up and just sound so in love with George like give himself away simply because nobody is saying how weird he’s-

Hold on.

Wait. A minute.

George.

George is doing that LMAOOOO

Him sitting there silently and not responding to all his small questions abt what he Should answer and such, he’s so smart🧍‍♀️

AIGHT MOVING ON

George’s laugh keeps sounding very, like, strange😅

Anyways the way Dream Had to have a ‘yes’ answer to the kiss one will forever keep me up at night. Now along with the butterflies one🧍‍♀️

I rly wonder what options it is Dream is looking for when he says ‘none of these options’ so often. What is it you wanna say king ?

WHY IS THE BUTTERFLIES QUESTION TWICE AND WHY IS HIS ANSWER NOW DIFFERENT LMAO - drema it’s okay it’s Safe Space 🗣 I feel like he probably saw chat responding to his first answer and realized ‘oop, that’s not platonic’ and changed his answer LMAO 💀 he’s- Ahh hard to find the right words for my Thoughts here, but he’s doing that thing where he looks for others what is ‘normal’ instead of seeing what he feels, cause what He feels is, uh, well we all know what results he got at the end there,,

I mean the kiss question is all u need really. The butterflies one puts icing on the whole cake.

“Do you compare this person to others you’ve dated? Noo...” AIGHT AND THERE WE HAVE THE CHERRY ON TOP OF THE WHOLE THING

This was the one of the Most sus ones imo from when I first watched it. It had my head spin, head in hands for Days.

What do you MEAN you compare him to others you’ve dated? Why does he tell George to shut up, why do they both Know there’s a story there- I have so many questions on this and- this isn’t platonic 💀😭 AT ALL - and there’s no excuse or explanations for this one, they just Move On 💀

The Speed at which they move on 💀

And then George goes So silent 🧍‍♀️

Dream is cruising through the questions and George is so silent now. He was Stunned into silence from that shut up LMAO

I like how Dream picked ‘absolutely’ on being able to tell George everything :’)

So.

Why does George not say anything on the ‘do you think your best friend is in love with you’ question? No joke, no protest, no- no nothing?

That leaves us to fill in the blanks king, just saying🧍‍♀️

Why does Dream sound sarcastic when he says it’s a tough question LMAO

“I have no idea” aight good answer ig LMAO let’s Pretend

George’s silence is for real very sus there. Very. 🥴

Dream putting ‘no’ on thinking he’s in love, is Very funny and shows just how blind he is to himself.

He rly put ‘I don’t know’ for the butterflies one and found the nearest ‘yes’ option for the kiss one and then still put ‘no’ at the end - he’s a lost cause and owns no mirrors I see how it is. (/j btw lmao I have hope in drema ofc, he too can become more self aware one day<3)

“You are a little in love with your best friend” cue both of them laughing in just the weirdest ways. George just sounds absolutely toneless like, I don’t think he’s even smiling with that laugh, gaze absolutely dazed at what he’s being witness to, not even knowing what to do with himself in that moment. And Dream’s laugh is also just, weird?

“You don’t wanna ruin it, Dream.” Followed by Dream’s immediate, “oh what? It says-“ like immediately moving on lmao 💀 that “oh what?” Sounded like “oh what’s that there oh that’s rly weird wow let’s move on from what you just said ahem wow really weird thing over there” LMAO

“There’s a two percent chance there” LMAO

OH NO THE SILENCE WHAT

I THOUGHT I ACCIDENTALLY PAUSED THE VIDEO BUT THE SILENCE IS SO LONG AND SO LOUD

Then Dream going onto pretending like he’s gonna do another test As If he’s not been planning his escape excuse from the very moment he got those test results LMAO

And the silent pauses are taking me out 💀

‘I think we’re done’ HOW COULD HE LEAVE AT THAT POINT 💀💀💀

“COOL PODCAST” IM DEAD ON THE FLOOR

“WHY ARE YOU SO NOSY” DREAM I- WHY U SO DEFENSIVE GEORGE ASKING WHERE YOU’RE GOING IS A NORMAL THING TO ASK 💀YOU’RE THE ONE WHO’S SUDDENLY LEAVING

NOT DREAM AWKWARDLY SINGING THE WIZARD OF OZ-

HE SOUNDS SO WEIRD-

The tone of his voice is so off my guy is so ready to leave and sit and stare at a wall whilst looping heatwaves for five hours 💀

:((((( drema my beloved :((((( it’s okay to be in love !!

Not him leaving- he full on ignored George’s ‘where are you going?’

He’s not going anywhere istg the moment he left that discord he put his head in his hands and just Stared 💀

Poor George 🥺

[relax-and-read-on]

I’m going to try and be as held together as possible. But the Primarchs are BROTHERS. Yes, the astartes are a whole another can of worms. But they’re brothers. Why? What is with the incest in this fandom? (I’m totally for lgbt I’m aro ace myself and a fanfic writer.) But this is just why?

Well, I fully expected someone to come at me eventually about this, and I thank you for actually being very polite about it! I'll try to explain myself as much as I can. I will only speak about myself and how I see it, it might be different for others.

First one all: Imo, genetically, they are not any more related than two random humans plucked from different continent. It's canon that Big E mixed up many string of DNA to make them. I do headcanons some of them as closer, genetically. Alpahrius Omegon are obliviously twins, and I like to Imagine Corvus and Konrad as such too.

Second: Culturally, again, imo, most of them don't see each others as brothers. They grew up on different planets, some with actual siblings and foster family, and only became into contact with each others as adult. Im pretty sure that canon Emperor simply decided to use a "family" structure to control them more easily, creating a sense of loyalty in them and not just going "hello im a weirdo who made you in a lab and then accidentally lost you around the galaxy".

I actually think it greatly vary, how the boys see one another. Magnus definitely see Lorgar as his brother, but if my memory is right, never gave a shit about Konrad. As a result, calling someone "brother" with meaning feel like a very deliberate choice for them.

Third, author intent: warhammer was created in.... An area were representations was, at best, minimal. Now I know it's the imperium and all, but they still somehow managed to sneak in some really awful queer coding. Fulgrim being so obliviously lgbtq+ and being the one to fall to the demon of sex and lust? (I know, slaanesh represent other things, but the link is here). Lion being LITERALLY named after a queer poet and having his entire concept being into hiding and secrecy? It suck. It really, really suck. So, I queer up some more of the characters. I make Corvus a transwoman, turn Ferrus into a gay icon, and let Leman be the bisexual horn dog he always deserved to be.

Fourth... Well, this is a bit more shallow, but: it make for great story. Literally almost everyone that is a big name in warhammer is freaking related, unless you move to the guards (Wich I do, god I could write love letters about the guards). As such, if you want to add romance to a story, and I do enjoy solid romance, and sex, and drama, you will quickly run into some issues of just... Not having enough unrelated character. Wich suck!!! I want more normal humans to have SM bf!!! Heck I want xenos to date the big dudes!!!! One of my fav ship is literally Yvraine/Guilliman yall

Im also terrible at dealing with oc, I don't enjoy writing them most of the time, and they feel extra cringy if I try to ship them with a main cast.

Fifth point, kinda related to the precedent two: something, having the boys being in love make a better story. The absolute tragedy of Fulgrim killing Ferrus, and then realising what he has done?? The pained betrayal of Sanguinius, after realising that Horus was utterly lost to Chaos? Beautiful. I like those things better with a flavoring of romance, but I fully respect someone who think it's more poignant to write about family members experiencing that betrayal.

Sixth: I write mostly to cope. I have a lot of pretty serious health issues, and suffer various shade of ptsd. I have experienced very personal and awful things before, and worked frontline in healthcare during the worst of the pandemic. It might seem like a strange way to justifie it, but going feral and posting outrageously sexual and stupid things really does help me relax and deal with bad things in my life.

And finally, the one that is the most important to me: they are fictional. They are literally plastic figurine that I can walk around on my table and can make them kiss in pretend if I want to. I could also take their mini, grab some greenstuff, and decide that, my Magnus is now "Sir flying mc pants, level 5 wizard of birbs and stupidity" and paint him green.

I have fun imagining them fucking or falling in love or eating spicy tacos or singing at eurovisions (and yes that post is coming), because it bring me joy, and I don't see it as incest. They aren't real. I can literally decide to not make them brother in my brain, just as I decided that Colchis should be based on Algeria in all my hc, or that Vulkan should not be chucked in black paint.

So yeah, that's why I write what I write!!! To be honest tho, you came around at a bad time, rn almost everything recent is peak horny posting lol. My mutuals do seem to enjoy it??? Good for them?????

If this is still distasteful to you, that's totally ok! We all have different tolerance level for fictional content. There's plenty of things that I avoid, and I don't mind at all if people block me! Your comfort level is more important than exposing yourself to potentially triggering content.

[amphibious-entity]

TMBS Book 1 Brain Dump

~An Embarrassingly Long Post~

I don’t know why I’m writing this or why I’m so determined to do it. Maybe to finally assume my true form and become a mega dork on main, or maybe just for fun!

This is basically a compilation of all the main points running through my head after reading The Mysterious Benedict Society (2007) for the first time. Rather than posting a ton and spamming the tag, everything’s here in one neat package! (hopefully this gets it all out of my system rip)

Contents:

The Book Itself

The Book Itself, for real this time

The Characters

A Funny Parallel

The S.Q. Section

Lines & Scenes I Liked

Spoilers abound!

The Book Itself

Upon acquiring the first three books (don’t judge me pls), I was surprised at just how long they are. Like, they’re still pretty light being paperbacks and all, but these books are hefty lads.

The first book has this Disney+ Original Series circle thing printed on it, which is kind of unfortunate. Regardless, I love the cover illustration and yellow is actually my favorite color :D It made me weirdly quite happy whenever I saw the book lying around in my room

Also, it’s really cute how there’s a letter from Mr. Benedict at the end! (It only reveals that you can find out his first name if you “know the code”, meaning the bit of Morse printed below the summary on the back.) Shock and horror, though, as I realized I’m starting to recognize some of the letters

The Book Itself, for real this time

It’s wonderful how the tone of the book really shone through to the show adaptation. Something about the deliberateness of the aesthetic, from the set designs to the fashion to scene compositions, that really sells that particular style— like it’s very clear that this story is being told to us, rather than one we’re seeing unfold, if that makes sense.

Where that narration style stood out to me the most was the first chapter. We are told (rather than shown) how Reynie gets himself to the point of the second test, and there’s this whole twisty time maneuver for that whole sequence of events that’s really interesting

A super secret fun fact about me is that I wanted to be a writer when I was younger! So this particular balance of show vs. tell is really neat, since it runs counter to my own tendencies. The sheer amount of commas in every sentence is also kind of comforting, since Ahah, I Do That in those few serious-ish attempts at writing lol

Overall this book’s style reminds me a lot of Roald Dahl’s books, which are very nostalgic for me :D The whole “kids are more competent than adults” angle helps a lot too haha

The Characters

Oh boy here’s where I get a little bit critical! Overall I did really like this book!! it’s just that that expresses itself in all this weird “”analysis”” lol

Reynie - much better in the books than in the show

It’s sort of a lukewarm take but I feel like show!Reynie is kind of boring? He doesn’t have a lot going on flaw-wise, and obviously since he’s the protagonist he can’t have too many weird traits or else the kids watching can’t project themselves onto him as easily

(I call it the difference between an aspirational protagonist and a vessel protagonist. Going off of the Roald Dahl vibes, think Matilda vs Charlie. show!Reynie is more of a Charlie)

Thus when we get to see him really struggle with the Whisperer and doubt himself it gives him a lot more dimension, at least in my opinion

It is a federal crime that the white knight scenes were not adapted into the show

Sticky - my son

I’ve long held to no one besides myself and my long suffering sister that Sticky is The Best Member of the Society

He happened to hit a lot of the Bingo squares of Stuff I Like In Characters: glasses, anxious, nice :), kind of a coward but ultimately is there for his friends, etc

For some reason I don’t talk about him nearly as much as you-know-who, but I love him just as dearly

Kate & Constance - I don’t have much to say

Kate is really interesting in this book! I like how we get to see more of her depths, in particular that one passage about her belief that she is invincible being the only thing that keeps her from falling apart? :c

Also her constant fidgeting is relatable lol

Constance is somehow a lot more tolerable in the book. I think I’m just one of those people with no patience for small children, unfortunately lol

(Some of) The Adults

It’s interesting that they had such an offscreen presence for most of the book. Giving them more time was probably one of the stronger changes of the show

However if that decision was made at the expense of the white knight scenes I think the choice should have been clear

I like the way Rhonda and Number Two are written

Milligan always on sad boy hours 😔✊

The “mill again” passage is touching but kind of messes up the pacing of the getaway, at least for me. Maybe I should read it again to make sure I didn’t miss something

Miss Perumal is much better in the show. We see so little of her in the book she doesn’t function well as an emotional anchor for Reynie, imo

The Institute Gang

Jackson and Jillson serve their purpose well, and Martina was surprising to say the least. I like the direction they took her in the show! I can’t imagine how funny it must have been to watch the tetherball subplot come out of nowhere lolol

These sections were written out of sequence, so random tidbit I couldn’t fit in The S.Q. Section: I like how he stumbles over his words. relatable

Mr. Curtain

While I think I know why they decided to not give Curtain the wheelchair in the show, we were totally robbed of Actor Tony Hale’s performance for the reveal during the final confrontation

Speaking of the wheelchair, it’s such a powerful symbol of his need for control or rather, his fear of losing it

The Contrast between him and Mr. Benedict. This point is expanded on in A Funny Parallel

Mr. Benedict

Oh boy, Mr. Benedict… How do I say this

I find it hard to trust Mr. Benedict, unfortunately

I mean to say, I do in the sense that I know he would never hurt the kids, thanks to knowing that a) this is a children’s book series and b) the meta (tumblr) states that he is really nice and lovable and stuff, but seriously. Why do the kids trust him at first?? I probably missed something somewhere

I like to think I’m an optimistic person, but unfortunately I’m also super paranoid. The premise of “a bunch of vulnerable orphans team up with a strange old man” is just so odd to me I don’t know how to explain it

I don’t know!!! I really want to trust Mr. Benedict

One of the strengths of the show is that we get to see him more often, and thus he gets to acknowledge more often that the plan is weird and that he feels really badly for putting the kids in danger and that he’s trustworthy and genuine

But his lack of presence for most of the book just makes him into something of a specter, invisible and unknowable, speaking only in riddles from across the bay

Which is why the white knight scene is so important!! I loved that scene ;-;

Because here’s an actual emotional connection! We can actually see it happening, rather than only being told that it exists

Reynie asking for advice and receiving encouragement, in words that demonstrate that Mr. Benedict actually cares about him and worries about him and agghh

It is a federal crime that the white knight scenes were not adapted into the show

But overall this whole issue didn’t ruin my enjoyment of the book at all! It’s just ->

A Funny Parallel

Okay, ready for my biggest brain, hottest take ever??

Mr. Benedict and Mr. Curtain…. are… the same

I mean obviously not entirely, given that one is benevolent and kind and the other is… Mr. Curtain

But seriously. Genius old man seeks out children (mainly orphans) to enact a plan. Said children often end up incredibly devoted to his cause and deeply admire him this is a little flimsy

Undoubtedly that’s intentional and is supposed to show the difference between them, like some kind of cautionary tale? “Let yourself be vulnerable and let others help you, lest you turn eeeeviiillll”

I guess that’s where the aforementioned epic contrast comes in. You get Mr. Curtain, strapped into his wheelchair and hiding behind those mirrored sunglasses, terrified (but unwilling to admit it) of ever showing the tiniest hint of vulnerability, vs. Mr. Benedict, who can let himself fall knowing that someone will catch him :’)

Anyhow I have nothing against the parallels, I just think it’s funny

The S.Q. Section

The S.Q. Quarantine Thread so it doesn’t leak out everywhere else <3

I’d like to meet the emo angstlord genius who read this book and decided to make SQ into Dr. Curtain’s son. What in the world

Okay I should probably preface this by saying that I absolutely adore both book!S.Q. and show!SQ with all my heart. Somehow, despite being a completely different character in both mediums, he has managed to be one of the best characters in either and certainly one of my favorites (besides Sticky of course) in the entire franchise, despite the fact that I’ve only read the first book/watched the show so far. I am confident in this statement.

But seriously! How?? Why?? I could probably write a whole other essay about why show!SQ is such an interesting character, and the change works so incredibly well. I’m just. Baffled

Okay, focus. book!S.Q. is such a sweetheart, oh my goodness. Like, 100% one of the most endearing characters in the book. Poor guy. I don’t even know where to start!!

He just seems to be a genuinely good guy at heart, despite being technically one of the bad guys. He’s genuinely happy for Reynie and Sticky when they became Messengers and helped Kate when she “fell” and was concerned about Constance when she looked sick and how he was in that meeting with Mr. Curtain and Martina?!!? aaahhhhghgh ;-; he just wants people to be happy TT-TT

Comparing him against literally every character at the Institute is probably what makes him so endearing tbh. When everyone else is so awful to the kids, it really makes him stand out. Like a cheerful little nightlight in the worst, most humid and rank bathroom you’ve ever been in

It’s kind of pointless to theorize about a book series that’s already concluded (I think?) but. Is the implication of S.Q.’s forgetfulness supposed to be that Mr. Curtain used him in brainsweeping experiments somehow? The timeline probably definitely absolutely doesn’t line up but like. How did he get to being a Messenger being the way he is now, given how cutthroat the process is? And then of course Mr. Curtain keeps him around as an Executive because he’s fun to mess with and presumably his loyalty. I’m very curious as to how their relationship develops in the other books, if at all. Those are probably where the seeds of the “let’s make them family” logic were planted

But wouldn’t it be hilarious if the reason we don’t know what “S.Q.” stands for in the books is that he just. Forgot

Another thing that occurred to me. Given that he and the other Executives were Messengers at some point, what were their worst fears? What is S.Q.’s worst fear?? Inquiring minds need to know

One last horrible little anecdote: I was thinking about book!S.Q. while eating breakfast, as one does, and suddenly it hit me.

I want to believe The Author Trenton Lee Stewart had the name for a character, S.Q. Pedalian, and was like, “Hm! What sort of quirky trait should this young fellow have?” Because, of course, in this style of fiction every character has to have at least one cartoonish or otherwise distinguishing trait to stand out in the minds of children. (For instance, Kate has her bucket, Sticky has his glasses, Constance is angry, and Reynie is Emmett from the Lego Movie)

Anyhow, he looks around the room, searching for inspiration. Suddenly he comes across a jumbo box of plastic wrap. Completely innocuous in design, save for one line of text. 300 SQ FT.

“…large… S.Q. …feet? THAT’S IT!” i’m sorry

Lines & Scenes I Liked

In no particular order!

Sticky quotes Sun Tzu, The Art of War

Evil combination aerobics/square dancing in the gym with the Executives

Everyone being happy at the end :’)

Everyone partying after Sticky reunites with his parents, and later finding Mr. Benedict asleep at his desk from the moment they shook hands :’’)

Literally any scene with Sticky in it

Any time Kate says “you boys” or “gosh”

[“Um, sir?” S.Q. said timidly, raising his hand. “A thought just occurred to me.” / Mr. Curtain raised his eyebrows. “That’s remarkable, S.Q. What is it?”] clown prince of my heart </3

S.Q.’s determined monologue about searching for clues after he bungled up the first time

Literally any scene with S.Q. in it (please refer to The S.Q. Section)

Reynie trying to resist the Whisperer.

[Let us begin. / First let me polish my spectacles, Reynie thought. / Let us begin. / Not without my bucket, Reynie insisted. He heard Mr. Curtain muttering behind him. / Let us begin, let us begin, let us begin. / Rules and schools are tools for fools, Reynie thought.]

NO MORE HURTIN’ WITH CURTAIN

Milligan showing up on the island!!

Remember the white knight hhhhhh

“controle”

A Super Secret Bonus Section

I would be extremely surprised if anyone read through all the way down here lol. Regardless, here’s a little acknowledgements section :D not tagging anyone since I don’t want to bother all of these people

Special shoutout to tumblr blog stonetowns for unknowingly yet singlehandedly demolishing my reluctance to read the books by posting a ton of cute quotes. Thank you for your service o7

Thanks to the two OGs that liked the post I made right before this one, for being my unwitting enablers and for sticking around despite being a) technically an internet stranger (hello!) and b) someone I haven’t spoken to irl in literal years (hey!!)

Last but not least thankz 2 my sister for putting up with me ranting about the book when I first got it and for asking about “CQ” sometimes lol. (i desperately hope you’re not reading this orz)

[struggle-but-its-all-ocean-floor]

Aespa and Itzy’s influence in girl groups is very, very obvious. Whatever happened to Billlie’s original concept and sound? I thought I had stumbled upon a rejected Itzy track. The lyrics were so childish. “The strange world”? The world of growing up? How cliché. The lyrics aren’t that deep, but they gave the MV a strong title and added a weird rabbit at the end to say their concept is still “weird” and “unique”. Concepts are so shallow. They rarely match the lyrics or are fully carried through. I really couldn’t care less about concepts. I want good music with good lyrics and live singing. Even though kpop is more than this, in the end, I think fans do care the most about music and live performances, and I think BTS’s success is a reflection of this (although they also stand out when it comes to choero, MVs, visuals, personality, etc.). “Concepts” are worthless - and I mean concepts in the sense of choosing a theme for aesthetics and half-assing some lore only to drop it because it’s too much work and fans just want some girl crush bop. 

The thing about lore is that the GP doesn’t give a shit about it, nor do casual listeners or even some fans. But for the fans who do care it’s great because it engages them and allows the company to profit from webtoons, comics, merch, etc. It also allows a small group to stand out by capturing a niche audience. The problem is that lore can limit what you can do and it can be a turn off to watch a MV you can’t understand because you don’t follow a group’s storyline. I don’t know if Billlie have their own lore or how deep their concept goes, but they came off pretty strong with Ring x Ring - and even Starry Night had a distinct, kinda creepy and dark sound - that they dropped out of nowhere with their second (third?) comeback. With The Strange World they sound like a generic Itzy wannabe (no pun intended) with some Aespa/NCT influences towards the end. It’s jarring. Looking at the album and the weird rabbit at the end of the MV I think they’re still sticking to their concept, but it's poorly done. Why bother? If they want to make more mainstream, so to speak, music, they should go for it. They’re holding themselves back by trying to stick to a concept they’re clearly not committed to.

Also, Strange-y world? Why?? And the nonsense lyrics at the end? This trend in kpop is just so...

Anyway, the collective soul and unconscious: chapter 1 sounds a lot like the previous EP except for the exuberantly bright title track. It was a bad choice imo. They should’ve either changed their sound or kept it. The tt is uber bland and won’t stand out at all. I guess it’s a grower, but they’re still establishing their sound and identity and showed with this tt they have no actual identity - just what works works. Even though the entire point of companies releasing music is for it to sell, it sells better if it seems like there’s some artistic integrity behind it, and you can’t build a solid fanbase if you can’t decide what your sound is. A group’s sound should evolve naturally. It’s very weird of Billlie for them to drop this track and then stick to their previous sound with the rest of the EP. I like the EP but not the tt, and now I’m side-eying the company and don’t know what to expect next. Maybe that’s the point? Companies will do anything to get people talking. 

The first EP was better though - much more daring and interesting. This is a typical gg album with soft, pleasing songs and a “strong” tt. 

[phantomato]

Five Tom Riddle Crossover Fics to Read

Tom Riddle is a difficult character to ship. For those of us who want to see pairings beyond the Big Two (Tomarry and Tomione), canonical options peter out relatively quickly. Sure, we can invent our own pairings by fleshing out side characters, but sometimes, the itch is best scratched by borrowing from another canon.

And it makes sense for Tom more than nearly anyone else in HP. Tom was born into an era that is the subject of so much literature, so it’s easy to find another person kicking around postwar Europe if that’s your goal. He’s an archetypal character, the villain seeking immortality, and can be matched against other villains with the same aims. Hell, even his quest to recover lost artifacts turns into the basis for two of these works—Tom Riddle has the perfect combination of a recognizable context and character model, plus the ambiguity of his canon timeline, to slot him alongside so many other fictional figures.

I want to pause on some of these themes for a second. Immortality or relationship to age, for one, is something that comes up in three of these pairings: the Darkling and Koschei the Deathless are both immortal characters in their own canons, and Edmund Pevensie is not immortal but has aged and de-aged repeatedly in his travels to and from Narnia. The HP series doesn’t give us nearly this wealth of different perspectives on age and immortality, which is fair—HP makes it clear that immortality is unnatural and undesirable, and Flamel is notably a ‘good person’ because of his willingness to accept his own death—but for a character as obsessed with the idea as Tom, some emotions can only be explored when you match him with another character who has a complicated relationship to aging. Even someone like Indiana Jones, not immortal and not trying to be, has an interesting perspective to bring to a story because he has seen so many other quests for power gone terribly awry.

Of course, the other thing we get from crossover pairings is the ability to match Tom with a villainous character. And whether you’re a fan of conflict at the start of a relationship or not, I think there’s something to be found in putting two villains together: moral arguments, when they exist, are rarely about whether death is necessary but about what kinds of death are best used when; the entire concept of either a redemption arc or a breaking bad arc can be thrown out a window. It’s a space wherein our two villains are allowed to be themselves, and the reveal of the extent of each character’s villainy becomes a strange form of celebration. This is challenging to achieve if one sticks to HP canon alone, whereas crossovers are a fruitful space.

My selection methodology was to read every crossover fic with a clear focus on Tom Riddle or Voldemort on AO3. I found crossover pairings by visiting the meta pages for the Tom Riddle, Voldemort, and Tom Riddle | Voldemort tags—I may have missed some pairings for Tom Riddle, as the character has over 300 child relationship tags and AO3 cuts off at 300 displayed. If you know of any ships I missed and should check out, do tell! I’ll also make a note here that one of these fics is my own—if self-recs bother you, skip Bluebird.

The following five fics are ordered by wordcount. Let me know what you think!

Neurotic Virtuosi, by skazka

Crossover: Hannibal Rising (movie version). The wizarding world exists, and Tom and Hannibal encounter each other in non-magical Eastern Europe.

Summary: Tom and Hannibal ride the same train when Tom is hunting down the diadem. Tom shares an apple and thinks about keeping Hannibal.

Mature, <1k, Graphic Torture Fantasies

Why?: This is one of those pairings that I wouldn’t have thought to do when the characters were both young, but it’s so much better for that choice! The length of this fic means we only get a taste of their interactions, but what a taste it is. Tom’s internal fantasies are horrifying and described in a very erotic way, which fits both characters.

This also serves as an interesting vision of what Tom might have experienced during his world tour to find the diadem, a period we rarely get to see. I particularly like that the author chose to write it as frustrating and mostly fruitless; a Tom who is stymied and unsuccessful is a particular weakness of mine.

Two Sides of the Same Coin, by Anonymous

Crossover: Chronicles of Narnia. Both Hogwarts and Narnia are real, and the characters meet in Britain. The magic isn’t the same, but there’s mutual recognition.

Summary: Tom tries to use sex to seduce secrets out of Edmund. Edmund sees something reminiscent of his younger self, the version of him who could join the White Witch, in Tom Riddle.

Explicit, 2k

Why?: Edmund and Tom are a pairing made in crossover heaven, both boys of a similar age born into war in the same country and whose discoveries of magical worlds help them escape it. Both lust for power and make poor choices; Edmund canonically recovers and finds redemption from his actions, and Tom does not.

This fic wears the hat of something pure smut, starting in the middle of a sex scene and tagged with top/bottom roles, etc., and it is that and does that well. But give it a shot for Edmund’s reflection at the end, his hopeful musings that he can apply the lessons learned from Aslan to help Tom before Tom’s utterly lost. It’s a crossover ship with unbelievable potential for both characters, and this fic makes me want so much more.

Shedding Skin, by electric_typewriter

Crossover: Deathless by Catherynne M. Valente. Both the wizarding world and the magic of Deathless exist.

Summary: Tom meets Koschei before splitting his soul. They keep meeting, and Tom keeps attempting to match Koschei’s immortality.

Not Rated, 2k

Why?: Immortality via relocation or storage of souls is an idea that easily predates Harry Potter as a series, and seeing two different versions of the some core idea interacting with one another is precisely what crossovers exist to enable. Koschei as an immortal being that found his immortality in a way he considers superior is a fascinating concept, because it creates a power imbalance between them that leaves Tom always running to catch up. And Tom, poor Tom, feels like a desperate man, finding sensation only when he’s around Koschei and feeling nothing at any other time.

This reads a bit like you’re dissociating. The author uses descriptive language to keep the reader a little distant from the grounded reality of the events happening, which has the effect of keeping you focused on the metaphysical question of what it means to have part of a soul.

Bluebird, by Phantomato

Crossover: Shadow and Bone. S&B summoning powers instead of HP magic, set in the real world, with characters’ histories preserved.

Summary: Tom is the second sun summoner to exist, born long after the first gave up her powers and lived out her natural life. He tracks down the Darkling, the shadow summoner who never really died.

Explicit, 17k

Why?: Tom is an immortal being for at least part of his life, and his character arc is about pursuit of immortality, but he is fundamentally a young immortal, and is killed before he can graduate to old immortality. Aleksander, the Darkling, is canonically an old immortal, and his character arc is about the burden of living with the knowledge that you will likely always be alone. That loneliness sets the scene for the relationship between Tom and Aleksander, driving Aleksander’s behavior—he fundamentally believes he will always be alone, even an immortal like Tom passes through his life.

There is a high proportion of smut in this, serving in place of the emotional honesty that neither character can muster, and I recommend it for that. But the story also relies on investment in quiet everyday moments shared between the characters. It’s a fic told through behavior because both men are so cautious around one another, where they nevertheless manage to find sympathy for the other.

Riddles of the Dead, by Maeglin_Yedi

Crossover: Indiana Jones. Blends together the wizarding world and the mysticism present in Indiana Jones films.

Summary: Tom Riddle hires an expert archaeologist and gentleman adventurer, Dr. Indiana Jones, to help him pursue an artifact that might grant him immortality. There’s fucking, fighting, magic, snakes, and some difficult choices in store for our leading men.

Explicit, 18k, Angst

Why?: Maeglin Yedi has been a mainstay of the Tom Riddle/Lord Voldemort ficspace for nearly two decades, but an old crossover like this can unfortunately slip through the cracks. It shouldn’t! With an original publishing date in early 2005, this predates the concept of horcruxes, the knowledge of Tom’s early years at Wool’s orphanage, and, well, so much of what we would eventually learn about Tom Riddle as a person. It’s a testament to the author that the story manages to capture Tom’s character in such a way that he’s still fully recognizable to a current-day reader, despite working with so much less canon.

This fic is fun. It’s an adventure, featuring hazards and traps and assassination attempts that you would expect from an Indiana Jones film, but the magic and mystery never overwhelms the relationship at the core of this story. It’s set up beautifully, with a mirrored structure between the front and back halves of the fic that foreshadows the inevitable end of the story. Watching older, confident Indy seduce young, hungry Tom is a delight. One (possible) mark of a great Tom-centric fic, imo, is to be able to portray Tom enjoying the exchange of power, giving it to someone as well as taking it from them, and this Tom is able to revel in giving up some perceived power as he practices being vulnerable with Indy. The romance is quite sweet, especially considering that ‘angst’ tag at the top of the fic!