#i mean the clothes are a very surface level example . there are also other things

[cultreslut]

a lot of my growth post autism diagnosis has just been to accept and learn to live with some ""quirks"" i have or whatever . like its okay if i want to wear the same pair of socks all the time i dont have to force myself to do something i believe to be expected of me .... i can wear sweaters every day if i want to

[moistotaltrashmammal]

Hi and Welcome to: My poorly formatted argument for L being an INTJ.

(No spoilers, also posted on Personality Database.)

Ni- While L may entertain multiple possibilities, his rational analysis usually leads him to a singular conclusion. Once he reaches a decision, he sinks his teeth in and never lets go. He concluded who Kira was from the beginning, and no amount of emotional arguing ever changes his mind. In fact, when it seemed like there was even a possibility of him being wrong, he claimed to be depressed and unmotivated. Even when it seems as though surface level-evidence proves one thing, he follows his intuition when the "proof" fails to convince him of anything else.

Te- L is blunt and borderline tactless. He states facts and rational with little to no regard for how he comes across to other people. He is also not above using emotional manipulation if it means reaching his goal. In fact, as stated, L is not one to be persuaded in his logic in the slightest until empirical evidence presented to him convinces him to do so. He tends to like people who are useful and not "irrational," AKA not Matsuda.

Fi- Despite all of this, L does follow an internal moral code. It is shown to be internal because he shows little regard for outside established morals and the law itself; he wasn't above using torture, which is frowned upon in most cases. L tends to also push boundaries quite a bit, making those around him uncomfortable to the point where they refuse to continue working with him. It is heavily implied that L has his own internal definition of justice and kindness (examples could be found in the novels.) He has very few people in his inner circle, such as Watari; he never truly lets anyone else in, if we're only talking about the anime. He's also not very expressive; L hardly ever talks about how he's feeling, and in general seems to be very stoic until he's caught off-guard. He also profiled Kira by comparing his own personality to that of Kira himself; very Fi.

Se- Despite how he appears, L is quite strong and athletic. He was once the British Junior Tennis Champion, a feat obviously requiring an above average athletic skill. He's also adept at martial arts, able to introduce his foot into someone's face while still being handcuffed to them. His diet consists of almost entirely sweet foods, and he indulges with little regard to decorum. He also cares little for his outer appearance; he wears worn clothes, sits in an odd position, has his hair uncut (or maybe he likes it like that idk), and for some reason doesn't wear shoes instead of just getting fucking sandals.

There are also a few incidental reasons such as:

1) His and Light's personalities are often compared to eachother, I find it hard to think of anything other than the similarities between ENTJ/INTJ.

2) Alessandro Juliani's (dub) performance has this cadence and smoothness I often see in fictional characters who could be categorized as INTJ (trait of Se...?)

3) INTP's are often seen as charming to those around them. While L is beloved by the audience, he is instead seen as off-putting by other characters around him. Those people are wrong; L is the most adorable thing to ever grace this planet with his presence and they should be THANKFUL—wait where was I going?

I'd like to thank @pennyblossom-meta for giving me the inspiration to write this post, her L analysis is to die for. I also credit @funkymbtifiction for basically being my source for personality analysis growing up.

Anyway thanks for coming to my Tedtalk BYYYE✨✨✨

[honeyfizzly]

Mahiru Shiina character analysis because alot of people misinterpret her character, so here my probably incoherent explanation of her character. I'll at least try to be organized with my points thought!

Credits to https://rochisama.wordpress.com/2021/06/24/milgram-mahiru-this-is-how-to-be-in-love-with-you-mv-text/ for the translations

1. Mahiru had a turbulent relationship with her beloved.

While the diary entries go on for 16 days, it's likely the relationship lasted for about a year or more since we see the change from summer to fall clothing.

We know that for Mahiru it was love at first sight, and she quickly lied about jogging to get close to the person she liked even though she didn't jog.

She ends up confessing and they presumably get together.

From there, cracks in the relationships start to show.

It seems they used to fight alot and break up alot. Mahiru thought this was all normal relationship things, so it seems she tried to reason that the hurt she was feeling was good and they were matching in pain. Mahiru also seems to have trouble with boundaries and being needy with other people, often fighting with her partner before quickly apologizing it seems.

Also something happened on day 12 when she first went to his house where she can't remember anything. This is also when the text changes and gets more disorganized.

Somethings I'd like to point out is that Mahiru is never seen with her partner besides one scene of him handing her a coffee on their outdoor date.

This could represent 2 things- Mahiru was only thinking of herself in the relationship, and how she looked or this is a visual representation of how Mahiru's partner was very distant in the relationship.

I'd argue it's the second option due to how Mahiru says she just dosent want to give, she wants to recieve as well. This implies in the past, Mahiru felt that she was the only one providing effort in the relationship.

Even some lines in the song and the diary express this frustration, like when she mentions in day 10 he probably won't notice her hair cut or how she constantly questions if he knows what love is.

On day 9 is when we see them go on their first date, and it's a bar where her beloved gets fucking blasted. She describes him as drinking himself unconscious. On this day it also includes an hangover cure called "corpse reviver".

Also Mahiru seems to be willing to copy anything her lover does, like in her interrogation questions she says she would smoke if her partner did.

Day 16 is presumably when her partner dies, the day Mahiru is waiting to surprise him with a feast she cooked of his favorite food. It's likely her partner killed themselves, due to the fact Mahiru the image she holds up in her card in undercover is the suicide forest. That's where her "murder" accured.

2. Mahiru Shiina has a shallow view of happiness

It's no secret that too Mahiru, love is happiness. Throughout her voice drama she is always talking about love and loving other people, and she feels as if her life has no purpose if it lacked love.

Alot of Mahiru's music video also features alot of magazine imagery, as if she's the fancy model in her story. Now, here's where things get interesting- Mahiru seems very cautious about what society sees of her, and seems to use surface level things to try and make her happy.

For example, she says "Beige and pink will make you love yourself" on day 10, you shouldn't need colors combinations on outfits to "love" yourself.

Or how in day 14 she says "Just because it’s outdoors doesn’t mean you can relax too much! Even when picking out a date outfit to protect you from the cold, you still want to protect that loveable silhouette".

Mahiru talks like this constantly throughout the mini text explaining her outfit choices in her diary.

Mahiru throughout the mv and the lyrics seems to have some sort of depression with lyrics like, "I really don't want to say I'm okay", "this sickness is pretty bad", "I suck at pretending to smile but see I'm happy cause of you"

Mahiru is very concerned with fitting into public image and chasing a fairy tale romance, hell that chasing of that fairy tale life is probably why she's so asscioated with the blue bird.

The blue bird of happiness is quite litterally in it's name, it's a bird that represents happiness.

Throughout the mv we see feathers falling down, and Mahiru even pouncing on the feathers like a cat. Some people think the feathers were meant to represent the lover's stress, but I personally believe it's meant to represent the relationships happiness.

I think Mahiru pouncing on the feathers is meant to represent how she's chasing after that happiness, but since her view of happiness is so shallow she only gets the feathers and not the bird.

The last feather falling is presumably when she realizes the happiness she's been chasing was all for nothing and her relationship was doomed from the start.

Also throughout the mv we see that Mahiru is in a birdcage. There's a whole shot of her looking longingly out of the bars as if she wants out, before she goes kitty mode and pounces on the feathers- instead trying to reaffirm her "happiness" in the relationship.

Alot of people don't mention that mahiru is in the birdcage as well, and seems to want out as well.

I personally believe the birdcage represents the relationship itself, as both partners probably feel trapped by it.

3. Her behavior after getting voted guilty is concerning. Even after getting restrained and then having the absolute shit beat out of her, to the point she's in critical condition, she reaffirms her love for everyone there.

4. In the teaser trailer for the second trial came out, the one with everyone talking and the big black spiky thing on screen we hear mahiru at her angries- she screams at 0:12 "don't say you love me without any proper weight behind it", it seems she's very concerned on if the person she likes truly loves her.

So with all the information we know about her so far- Mahiru is a young women whos very focused on surface level ways of achieving happiness, which traps her in a toxic relationship that leads to the death of her partner. Mahiru is shocked by this and dosent know if she's the cause or not, and feels that without loving others she has nothing left to live for.

Personally in my books this an essay innocent, not just cause she got beat up for being guilty but also because it's clear that this was just a bad first relationship for her where she rushed into love and found herself in a toxic relationship.

There's still alot we don't know, and her second trial might completely recontextualize things, like it did with Shidou and Muu. But until then, here's my analysis on Mahiru!

[thecollectionsof]

please educate me in the ways of the crygi .. what is their dynamic like !!

i will try my best but if anyone has anything to add please do !!!! and i do talk about a few fics in here to add to my point and also because i will take the opportunity to talk about them all the time if given the chance <3

dear god this got long. it's under the cut oops

i think crygi is based on a few big things: playfulness, passion, uniqueness, and so, so much respect for each other. of course there’s so much you can point to for these things, and so many other aspects you can point to, but i think that this is the bulk of it when it comes down to it.

playfulness/teasing: both crystal and gigi believe in not taking life too seriously. they’re fun and love to tease and joke around, but they also know when it’s time to get serious. they have a compatible sense of humor that they love to play off of, and it means that many interactions are light and fun (for good examples of this in fics, see if you need a friend by my wife and beloved @gggoode for playful discussions that shift in and out of seriousness as needed, and like, a virgin by my other wife and absolute darling @cherubbcheeks for a great example of where you can take the characters in a more playful, comical way)

passion: both of them are teeming with ambition, drive, and an insane amount of passion that they throw into everything they do, including their relationships, both romantic and platonic. they love to find ways to be passionate about things together, and it’s something that they both admire in the other person. it’s true on the show and i think it’s often highlighted in fics, with both of them not only being very close and loving but also huge creatives (and admiring each other for the work that they do). this is seen really well in a few fics, one of which being a smut fic (so i know it's not necessarily for you but i do want to commend it anyways) called i think i've fallen in love by @aqpippin. but another fic i love that really shows this passion about their relationship and how it can drive them to emotional moments is i wish you were sober by @stillmumu. not only does it have the best description of sobbing i've ever seen in a fic, but it also shows a moment where they can't communicate wordlessly and easily, which is often not the case in crygi fics (and i'm guilty of that, with an entire ongoing theme of leave the light on being how they communicate with many words left unsaid but still understand each other perfectly)

uniqueness: it’d be hard not to include this one, and it ties into respect really well. both crystal and gigi are very unique, and it’s something they celebrate in each other in every way. like, a virgin really highlights this for gigi especially, as it’s easy to see some of the ways in which crystal is unique at surface level, so showing gigi’s uniqueness is a great way to ensure good characterization. they’re two people who keep their individuality but can definitely have the “we’re more alike than you might think” moment, and i think that it helps make them compliment each other so well. it also leads to them clicking quickly in many fics, as little quirks that they have are endearing and make them have that instant crush. i think one of the best examples of this, though it's mostly gigi admiring crystal in this one (since it's from gigi's perspective), is we all start as strangers by @goodemethyd. crystal's clothes are often pointed out first, as is her mullet, but this one does a great job at showing off the things that endear crystal to gigi. and also it's just really cute <3

and, of course, love: it’s apparent through all of the other ones, but they truly take the chance to celebrate each other and love each other. it’s true in real life, too, just in a platonic way—gigi said “i don’t ever see us losing contact or falling out of love with each other” about her and crystal in an interview, and it’s very true for fics too, albeit in a romantic way. if i tried to point out fics where they were in love with each other we'd be here all day, but as the number one mushroomeater aka @gggoode fan of all time (self appointed but it is the truth <3) i'll point you in her direction for fic recs that kinda sum up all of these points. iynaf and nice day to start again are two that are longer so they show the relationship turning from a crush into a deeper love the best, but she is the queen of crygi and nobody is doing it like her

anyways. crygi is love and respect and fun and passion, but it's also versatility. you can truly do so much with them—short fluffy fics where they just admire each other? angst fueled by the depth of their feelings for each other? fics with truly odd prompts, like osha inspector/hot construction worker who commits an atrocious amount of osha violations? all of it fits and all of it feels natural for them, making it an easy ship to write for just about any idea you'd have

this is long so i'll stop myself here but tldr !!!!!!!!! i love them the dynamic is good(e) <3

[narhinafan]

Post proves that Hinata is stronger than Temari part two:

Kazekiri no jutsu(wind blade jutsu)

The most powerful technique that Temari can use

With this refinement, Temari can manipulate the opponent's wind and make it like a knife to cut through the body of the enemy, whether they are dolls or humans.

Temari used this technique, but it did not cause any damage to the doll other than cutting clothes

However, Temari was not useful in the war

The only thing she can do is destroy the weapons of the third raikage, but she needs wind users because she can't do that alone.

Temari, with the chakra of the nine tails and some of the wind users, was able to hit the "beast" of the ten tails, unlike Hinata alone, and the chakra of the nine tails only with her normal ki, she was able to thrust the "hand" of the ten tails (what the author of the post is trying to say that Hinata can counteract the winds of Temari only using a palm air)

For example If Temari flies, Hinata can survive because she survived the Tonri typhoon, which is stronger than Temari Who destroyed a forest And we all know Toneri is stronger than Temari in everything

Even after Hurricane Hinata stood intact and there was nothing dangerous

(And there is one thing I want to add: Naruto and Hinata are the only ones who endured the Toneri's hurricane, unlike Sakura, Shikamaru, and Sai, who flew like leaves in the autumn season)

And with this we know that Hinata is stronger than Temari

But Sakura fan in the comment:

She couldn't bear the Toneri hurricane. He wanted Hinata to be healthy and healthy, and he needed her in full health to activate the Tenseigan. The moon split open because it was hollow. Anything hollow would always be brittle and poorly durable and break quickly. On the day Toneri used the hurricane, the crust of the moon appeared, and no one appeared on it. Suddenly, the shell was destroyed. The moon rose, Toneri and the rest, and that they were inside the moon and that it was hollow, and they themselves originally admitted that they were inside the moon, and basically Toneri deliberately made a weak hurricane so that nothing would happen to Hinata. I didn't say before anything hollow would be thin, and Tonri was turning your moon's crust into meteorites, and the hurricane became inside the moon to the outside, crushing the thin hollow shell of the moon, and there is no evidence that the moon's crust carries it higher than the earth's crust, and Hinata's bearing to the hurricane is not evidence that it can withstand the wind because Naruto He was with her and Tonri deliberately softened the typhoon so that nothing would happen to her, and in the end Temari typhoon >>>>>>>> Tonneri's mitigating storms and Hinata's history And everyone endured the hurricane and Shikamaru and Sai who have the least strength to bear it

.

.

.

Well, the strom of Toneri, which is huge, huge, very large, and very thin also managed to destroy the forest, and also Temari can't create winds of this magnitude.

And Shikamaru, Sai, and Sakura did not withstand that storm because they literally flew. They were originally the first to fly like leaves. Hinata held on, but when Naruto caught her, they both flew off

And how did Tonery manage to mitigate the storm after it was released and also how he got the Tenseigan even before he made the storm

I know the Sakura fan is so desperate here like just cause the moon is hollow doesn't mean it brittle not the whole interior of the moon is hollow if the asteroids off it are enough to survive reentry yet remain the size they were means the exterior of the moon is quite thick and and that the center part doesn't account for the whole size. It is likely the hollow bit quite small fraction of the moons interior.

Further more the surface of the moon survived both Kurama and Naruto fight with only their strongest attacks any real damage. That is proof that the surface is strong enough to withstand all but sage of six paths level of strength. Add that when Toneri spit the moon in half his attack actually reached the length needed to split the moon proves its power otherwise it would never be able to extend that far.

[jessicaingramdesignresearch2]

week 8 - In class

Categories:

Art that provokes thoughts and feelings

water print, book, plates

Personal Connections / communities 

cocktails, Veuve, camera 

Possessions of personal significance 

Dyson, candle, perfume

Places of significance 

matarangi 

Expressions / identity 

togs or cap or ball, shoes, reiki – spirituality 

Tools

laptop, iPad, sewing machine, coffee.

As a designer/creative, you could also explore creative, visual and non-logical methods to create new typologies, if consistent with your strategy. E.g., do you notice half the elements are pink in colour or hand-crafted? Is this interesting, helpful, or offer opportunities or limitations worth considering?

A lot of objects have personal meaning that others would not see from the outside. Object that I use like beauty products of clothing items because those make me feel certain ways. 

What do your current categories tell you about the elements contained in them?

Everything has meanings, a lot of my object are directly what I use to help create my work. They are things that affect me and the way I feel which aids to how I feel when creating and how to get myself into a space that allows me to create without feelings stressed. It reminds me of how I want to hold myself and the values I want presented in my work. 

What underpins your categorisations? Are the elements grouped by a key characteristic, material or medium – or something else? e.g. typography, fluid type, poster design, etc?

Categorised by what the items are or how they make me feel / the thoughts they provoke. 

Are some of your categories defined by author/maker, origin, use or idea? Or something else?

Some of my categories are defined by if I see it as art, objects that I own, or things that I wear, or products that I use. 

What do you these categories tell you about your selection methods, influences and biases?

These tell me that I do see the categories for what they are as surface level. For example, I would not categorise the print and the candle together as in my mind those do not belong together.

What might these categories tell you about you as an individual, and your design practice?

These tell me that I am a person that thinks and feels very deeply. Almost all of my object has deeper meanings because of the memories or values that hold, or the way they make me feel. 

When seen together, what story do these elements and their categorisation tell an audience?

The audience may be confused seeing all these objects as it may seem random, I find it hard to connect some of them. But if they read the description, they will find that all the objects have significance and influence myself and my work in some way. The categories are based on how I feel when using or around these things. 

Does your re-examination of typologies and approaches to classification suggest changes? Do all the elements fit in one category? Should they? Is this coherent or is  it limiting?

No, things like my togs and the candle cannot be connected. But a lot of them can be linked to ways of healing me or making me feel relaxed. 

Does a category need be added? Or removed? 

Maybe have other categories that and link elements from other ones to show the cross sections. 

Would a category operate more effectively with more, less or different elements?

My categories are already quite small, I have ways to cross categorise them, 

Should some elements be reclassified?

If I reduced categories, then they can change categories and be reclassified. 

Are some elements a better fit for the category than the one you’ve selected? Or does the categorisation need adapting to foreground the unique importance of the element?

My categories could use some refining and adapting 

Are there blind spots in your selection, editing or approach?

Georgia found that a lot of my objects can be seen as healing or provoking a feeling

Is the graphic system coherent? Overall, would it make sense to someone with no knowledge of you, your design work and chosen elements?

Now I am not using a specific system as I am still collating all my items. Right know I have a photo collage of the items, it is very messy, the colours are not cohesive. 

Is it effective?

No, this is just a way for me to see my work, this is not how I intend to present my work 

Is it efficient?

No, again this is just thrown on a page so I can see it visually. 

Is it clear, concise and compelling?

As above 

Is it the most appropriate design solution for your selected elements, and categories or classifications systems? What other graphic systems could you research and experiment with?

No, I want to draw my object to give them all the same treatment. Just as photos they do not look cohesive or thought out. I will either draw all the objects by hand or I will apply an image treatment to them

Does it speak to your preferences and strengths as a designer? 

I am trying to push myself out of my comfort zone as a designer which is why I want to draw the materials. I was strong at sketching in high school but have drifted away from that in recent years

Does it take a unique approach to the assignment reflective of you as an individual?

Yes, drawing in my style would be unique and help to show all the objects rather than individuals that aren’t related. I want to have a clean and structured typeface to contrast the sketches. I also have the tendency to be a perfectionist so by having imperfect drawings this will be fun to work with and try place into a grid system and give it some sort of structure. 

How does it create appropriate connections with relevant creative communities? 

It creates connections with my sporting community, design community

[nnnnobodyy]

Filming them and posting it online is certainly excessive and questionable. One would *hope* partner in question got permission from the other and they both have a sense of humor about it, but I suppose we shouldnt give them too much benefit of the doubt. Admittedly I have not seen these videos due to my aversion of TikTok, but I have to partially disagree, personally I think it is important to showcase to other people what we (cismen's partners) have to put up with so other women know theyre not alone in having to deal with astoundingly incompetent (cis?)men.

It is sad they were failed by their parents, and its surely a testament to the vileness of the gender roles that cause people to raise incompetent (cis?)men and women who have to clean up after them. Its one thing for them to not know how to get blood stains out of clothes, generally the average cisman doesnt have to deal with blood-stained clothes as often as someone who menstruates does. Its another thing when they need help with nearly every task, no matter how minor and easy to search the internet for a solution it is.

I admit I am biased against your point OP because I just left a 5-yr relationship with what tumblr would lovingly call a "himbo." I was more fortunate than the average het couple in that he could largely cook, clean, and do laundry on his own, but his inability to do other tasks and weird disinterest in using the internet to figure out how to do it correctly really wore down on me over time. For example, at the height of my grad school tenure, I burst into tears over him struggling terribly just to fold up a sleeping bag. It was one he had gotten out and left on the floor for weeks, and when I asked him to roll it up, it became evident he did not know how to re-roll it as it had been before he got it out. And instead of watching a video online about how to do it on his PC 3 feet away or using the smartphone in his pocket, he asked me, who was already on a wire's edge and mentally exhausted from grad school, to show him how to do it. Cue the waterworks, largely due to guilt that I felt so mad and guilt at so badly wanting NOT to help him, and frustration at not knowing how to even begin to explain why I'm so upset about an issue as seemingly as minor as just a sleeping bag.

Undoubtedly you are familiar with the term "weaponized incomptence"--its not a term I would apply to this former partner, as I feel it implies a certain level of conscious choice and intention, perhaps a different way to describe his incomptence would something like "cisman incomptence privilege." I know that as a man who was raised as such in a still-very-gendered society, he likely wasnt taught how to do x, y, & z, and as a partner and someone who strives to be good I feel the responsibility to kindly teach him how to do it, but at a certain point it becomes an unfair demand of his partner's time and mental energy for them to always have to be the teacher and for him to never make more of an effort to not only learn on his own, but to actively explore to learn more about the kinds of things he has no clue about so he can learn to anticipate them.

And I imagine thats also why something as simple as not being able to clean up ketchup has these people filming their partners in a way that is definitely cruel and mocking at a surface level. Sure its sad that the dude cant clean up ketchup, but its exasperating as hell and loses its humor when you near-constantly have to teach him everything when the internet is RIGHT there. I did my best to be a patient teacher but it was a mental load that got too heavy to shoulder.

In defense of the men, there are some things you wouldnt know to look up online because you dont even know its a thing or problem that exists or needs to be done, such as cleaning out a hot water heater or how to replace a shower cartridge (hell even my engineer-fix-everything-himself dad didnt know what a shower cartridge is). But in retort to that defense, thats why taking the initative to not just learn for yourself but EXPLORE is so important. When its a problem thats plainly in front of you, it takes a certain level of self awareness to realize you might not know or be able to figure out the best way to handle this, and the internet is an easy place to consult for help. And it takes more self awareness to know there's all sorts of things out there you dont know about and therefore cant just search up online, hence the value in "exploring."

TL;DR weaponized incompetence or whatever you want to call it sucks and these mean videos bring attention to it

I can't be the only one that sees those like "watch if my boyfriend can clean up ketchup" style videos and not just get extremely sad about how much those men were failed by their parents right? And how they were then failed again by their partners later?

Like, can we stop putting the onus on these men and mocking them for not having a skill? Y'know, a skill? I thing you have to be taught.

Can you imagine your partner - someone you care about and you think cares about you - puts you in a situation where you're set up to fail, then filming you and mocking your lack of skills if you fail or jokingly praise you like you're a child if you do. Then on top of that post it on the internet for everyone - strangers, your family, your job and coworkers, potential future partners, whoever - to see and also laugh at you.

All for clout and content.

That person doesn't care about their partner. You could help them learn this skill that their parents failed to teach them, because of a patriarchal society where men are expected not only not do housework but also not know how to do housework. (Or because they're a shitty parent, that can also happen).

And like it is no one's responsibility to put in that kind of labor for someone, you are not obligated to do that.

However, if you supposedly care about someone and see they lack a skill, and you then film them, mock them, and post their unblurred face on the internet? That's kinda fucked up and you're a bad partner, honestly.

[nothorses]

TransTape: A Guide

I've gotten a lot of asks about TransTape, and noticed a lot of gaps in knowledge. I've been binding with it for over a year now, and I thought a little guide might be helpful!

What is TransTape?

TransTape is an alternative to using a compression binder (like gc2b sells) that does not use compression; instead, a body-safe cloth tape is used to pull your chest underneath your armpits and stick them there against your skin.

Taken from the TransTape Instagram [IMAGES: Three shirtless people with rectangles of transtape pulling their chests flat and under their armpits, so they look more like pecs than breasts. /END]

TransTape was developed by trans people, for binding, from kinetic tape- which is used to treat physical injuries and disabilities in athletics. Though kinetic tape isn't proven to actually improve these problems, it is tested and safe to wear the way TransTape is worn.

Kinetic tape can be used as a cheaper alternative to TransTape, it just doesn't come in the sizes and nude colors generally preferable for binding.

Is It Safe?

Because TransTape doesn't use compression, it doesn't have an impact on your ribcage, lungs, or other internal organs like a compression binder does. It only interacts with your skin, which means short-term and long-term use will only impact your skin.

To the best of available knowledge, TransTape is safe as long as you apply it and remove it correctly. It can be worn while sleeping, exercising, showering/getting wet, and doing all of your other normal activities.

How long you can wear an application of TransTape depends on your lifestyle; the company recommends 3-5 days, with breaks of 1-2 days between applications.

Is It For Me?

Whether TransTape works for you depends on a lot of different factors, but the biggest deciding factor will likely be body type. Like any type of binding, larger chests are harder to flatten/masculinize, and the density of your chest can play a role as well. Skin sensitivity may also be a factor.

My recommendation is to try one roll, start with a test strip to check skin sensitivity, and give it at least 2 or 3 applications to check compatibility. You can check out TransTape's Instagram for some examples of different body types and the different ways people apply it.

The Brand

TransTape itself is expensive, and they've made some weird choices about things like essential oils. That said, they have the best guides and the most information on safe, correct use of binding tape.

You do not need to buy their products. The healing salve and removal oil in particular are more expensive than necessary. I recommend using lip balm in your nipple covers, baby oil for removal, and regular body lotion after removal instead of their products.

Application

TransTape has made a very detailed and comprehensive guide to safe application, which I recommend following.

Every body is different, and the method of application that works best for you may be different from what works best for other people. Experiment! It'll take a few tries to figure out what works for you; I took eight months to fine-tune my method.

Here's how I bind:

[IMAGE: A drawing of a torso with three strips of transtape: #1 is 3 sections long, starts 2 inches from the center of the chest, and the bottom edge of the tape runs over the bottom of the breast. #2 is 3 sections long, and overlapped on top of #1 where the nipple is. #3 is 3.5 sections long, placed directly over the middle of #1 and #2, and has one inch in front of and behind the ends of #1 and #2. The text says "Apply nipple covers, then strip 1, 2, then 3. Ensure ends of strip 3 both "anchor" on skin. /END]

I use a lot more tape than their method does, but this is easiest and flattest for me! It might be a good start for beginners.

Safety Tips

To ensure application is safe, remember to:

Apply nipple covers. Use 1/2 of a section of tape, with a square of toilet paper folded into thirds each way in the middle. Lip balm on your nipples and the toiler paper will keep your nipples hydrated.

Use a 1-2 inch "anchor" on both ends of the tape; this area of the tape should not be stretched. This prevents your skin from itching or getting shallow, surface-level abrasions while wearing.

Remove tape ASAP if you experience any amount of bleeding or pain. Itching is normal, especially with your first few applications, but shouldn't continue for more than a day or two of wear.

Never apply over wounds/scabs/abrasions. Scars are fine, but make sure your skin is healed before application.

Safe Removal

TransTape's how-to guide includes a section on safe application, which I recommend deferring to. Some basics:

Never remove tape dry. Always soak your tape thoroughly with oil before removal; removal oil and baby oil are preferable, and coconut oil is also safe, but will leave adhesive residue.

Rub tape off, don't peel. If you rub at the ends/edges of the tape while it's oiled, it'll start to come off on its own in about 2-5 minutes. This is the best way to ensure you don't damage your skin.

Removal should never hurt. Slow down if you're feeling more than, at most, a light sting here and there. It's okay if you get some redness or shallow abrasions, but you should go more slowly next time.

Let your skin rest! Give your skin a day or two of rest between wears, if possible. I usually wear a compression binder on those days, and the drastically reduced use of compression binders means I'm still avoiding the long-term risks they can come with.

Lotion & TLC: use lots of lotion on your chest between wears, and otherwise treat your skin nicely!

Removal is where the most damage to your skin can occur, so it's important that you follow safety instructions.

Managing Expectations

There is a learning curve with TransTape, and it takes a while to get the hang of it. A lot of people try it once and give up, but it will get easier and more effective with more attempts.

Here's some things to keep in mind:

Your first attempt will suck. Mine looked like I was just wearing a bra, and I felt incredibly dysphoric about it. The second attempt was a little better, and the third attempt was much better.

It takes a long time to get the hang of it. Like, months. You'll keep figuring out better methods and getting flatter over time.

You skin isn't used to this. Part of getting flatter is your skin learning to stretch a bit more over time.

Tightness. Your skin will feel tight in the center of your chest with your first few applications; this is normal, and it won't tear there.

Itching. Your skin will itch under the tape; I got it really badly around the second day of wear. This eases up and eventually stops after a couple of months of consistent use, as your skin adjusts.

Stretching. Your skin will stretch near the center of your chest, and you may notice a slight change in texture. This is normal, should be very subtle, and should go back to normal if you stop wearing tape for a long enough time.

"Masculinization" vs. Flattening: TransTape can get folks flat, but more often it's about re-shaping your chest to be more "masculine"/look like pecs rather than breasts. It just depends on your body type!

TransTape isn't for everyone, but it can be a really great alternative for a lot of folks, too. It might be worth a shot! Just be safe, manage your expectations, and try to give it a few applications before you give up on it.

[spilledkauffie]

NSFW Alphabet • Zemo

List made by @caitlinpotter || whooooo boy

*xFemale!Reader || SFW Alphabet

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Super, super sweet!—he’s lovey dovey the moment you hit your final orgasm, rough kisses turn to gentle, featherlike, kisses across your quivering skin as you work through the final wave of ecstasy. He strokes his fingertips down your tense abdomen, feeling the subtle shake traveling through your body in the final moments of your orgasm.

Afterwards—he hoarsely asks if you’re okay, caressing your cheek, as you lay next to him breathless. There’s a soft smile across his lips, as you close your eyes, swallowing, to gather yourself, before smiling. He presses a kiss to your forehead as you snuggle up against his side, resting your head on his bicep.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Loves your legs and back— you wear anything that significantly reveals either and it’s already on his mind. He loves how the curve of your back fits perfectly against his palm when you arch it, especially when you’re straddling his lap. During foreplay, he always kisses a trail along the inside of your thigh, with his hand either caressing your calf or stroking along the outside of your leg. 

Lips— he loves your lips, sometimes when you’re talking or venting, on a roll about something, you’ll find him just staring at your lips. He is notorious for open mouth kisses, out of nowhere just kissing you, sometimes whilst you’re talking, but mostly when you just don’t expect it. 

As for himself, he’s probably say his hands, so he can feel you and mouth, cause he could kiss you all day long.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

Together— you don’t know how but somehow he knows how to get you both there at the same time. Your breath starts to hitch as you squeeze your legs against him. You hear him whisper a few curses and feel him grip your hips a little rougher, keeping you in place, as you both cum.

On other occasions or positions— seeing it drip down the arch of your back is insanely attractive, as he dips to breathlessly kiss between your shoulder blades.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Loves being cuffed— there’s something about the metal, feel and sound. Plus he loves the challenge of feeling you up whilst in handcuffs, a lot of times he’ll bring his hands to the back of your neck, pulling the cuff links tight against the nape of your neck, bringing you and holding you deep into a kiss.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Obviously, yes, he’s had experience— he absolutely knows what he’s doing, in fact he’s the only one who’s been able to get you on a new level of pleasure via him just knowing what he was doing. When you asked him how he knew where to hit, he lifts an eyebrows and simply replies “I have experience.”

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying.)

He’s really game for it all— whatever you’re comfortable with, he’s comfortable with. That means if halfway through you want to switch, he’s good with that.

Anything with you beneath him, chest to chest; he really does love absolutely making out while fucking you, so a lot of face to face works best for that— your knees pressing against his sides, your nails slowly scratching across his back, him giving fresh hickeys to your neck, and hands exploring your body while he slips his tongue in your mouth.

Tabletop— could literally be on a table, counter, or just the edge of the bed. Either way, you’re clinging to the surface’s edge, trying to keep yourself positioned at the very edge for him, (in bed, the bed posts can help), his fingertips are leaving bruises against your hips or his hand is wrapped around the ankle you have resting up against his shoulder, he presses kisses against the inside of your ankle as he fucks you.

 Doggy style—he loves the beautiful curve of your back so what better than fully seeing it. He presses his thumbs against the small of your back, and typically has a hand stroking up and down your spine.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

It’s definitely more serious, but it’s also always fun and extremely satisfying— his charm allows him to swoon you, keeping it a heated and romantic setting, but he can’t help but chuckle in between kisses to your skin when your jaw drops and your take a breath staggering gasp, clinging onto him, feeling things you’ve never felt before.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Literally perfect— he’s surprisingly good at knowing how you want it based on your actions leading up to the moment. He knows if you want it more rough and kinky, or if you just want to feel adored like a princess, made to feel good.

Accent— you love hearing him say anything in that gorgeous accent and he knows it, thus he sweet talks you, getting you closer and closer to your orgasm.

He checks in on you— the occasional “doing okay, Darling?”, “use your words, tell me, princess,” and “I’ve got you, just ride it out,” make it very personal and sweet amidst it.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Not really a thing with him, if he wants it he’s going to wait, he loooves sexual tension/anticipation, it makes the sex 10x better. 

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Temperature play—ice. He loves watching your skin shiver as he trails a path across your body with an ice cube. Also, he’ll kiss you and have a sliver of ice in his mouth, sliding it against your bottom lip with his tongue.

Handcuffs— either way (see D), it’s the challenge for him, and the look of them and you that he loves so much. Also loves the feeling of them against him when you’re clinging on to him.

Has a bit of a kink for you being the only one undressed— this is where you just rolling your hips down on him hard, holding close with two fingers behind his belt buckle comes in. Also, thigh riding, he loves to see you get yourself there, only occasionally helping out, loving how desperate you are for his attention, physically.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Bedroom— it’s the atmosphere of the room that’s amazing, it’s intimate, silk sheets, candles, old wooden bed frame posts that have bruised your back from being pushed against. He likes to see your skin glow in the candlelight with a slight shimmer from the sweat you’re breaking together

Cars— those classic cars have had a Titanic moment or two. It’s extremely intimate, and the sound of your breaths, moans, and screams sound great in a tightly contained area. 

Shower— warm water cascading down your body, keeping you nice and wet in every way. The shower’s obviously lavish and has plenty of room, plus glass walls.

↳ similarly, bathroom countertop sex— with the room still humid and hot, you’re set atop the cool counter’s surface, back pressing against the mirror as you hang on to the edge or the faucet head for some grounding.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Seeing you undress— watching you slip of out a dress, casually pull a sweatshirt over your head, shimmying out of your jeans, etc. he just loves seeing more and more of your skin slowly become exposed. Which makes changing in the morning a longer process than need be.

Kisses— making out with him enough will get him pretty turned on, French kisses, love bite kisses, soft and sweet, really enough of anything and you’ll find you finally have a little control when you pull back and he leans in, not wanting to break the kiss.

You in his clothes— dress shirts, sweatshirts, his jacket, you name it, he likes to see you wearing his things.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Nothing demeaning— he wants to make you feel worshiped, perfect, and on cloud nine, so it’s a no go to the exact opposite

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Giving— for starters he likes to have the leverage in situations and you at the mercy of his mouth counts. He’s phenomenal at completely and totally getting you all the way there with just his mouth. His hands are always either holding your hips down, or stroking along your legs, outside, inside, caressing your calf etc. 

↳ when you try to close your legs, he easily pushes the inside of your knee back out again, with a chuckle you can feel vibrating against your clit.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Two types: slow, sensual, and deep & hard, dominant, and passionate 

↳ slow, sensual, and deep: it’s extremely romantic and makes you feel adored, he takes time to get every sense awake in your body before giving you what, by that point, you desperately want. And when he does it’s almost instantly met by you softly sighing with a smile, “right there, baby,” as you flutter your eyes closed, lips parting.

↳ hard, dominant, and passionate— he’s fucking you like he hasn’t seen you in years. It’s a little rough, sometimes kinky, very dominant sex. You have some seriously intense, pupils blown with pleasure, screaming orgasms that leave you shaking, not to mention unable to walk straight. Typically includes multiple orgasms for you.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He’s not opposed to them at all, the amount of time doesn’t determine the quality with him.

For example: you’ve definitely fucked in a club bathroom before (these are nice, fancy clubs)— already making out you pull him into the room and he kicks the door shut, locking it. Setting you on top of the counter roughly, you get at it. Desperately holding onto the edge of the countertop as he fucks you, kissing your neck and holding your hips in place.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Not particularly— if there’s any shake up you want to try or add, you definitely talk about it first, having a comfortable atmosphere during sex is always important to him so you can feel safe and boundaries are set.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Not including teasing / oral, typically two— and those are two very intense rounds, it’s not a quickie. Proper sex with him lasts a good while, so brace yourself if you make it to a third round. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

A whole lot— it’s exactly that, unfair. With how much he teases you, you’ll be dripping wet before your clothes are even entirely off.

Playing hard to get— oh yes, he plays that game with you, if you’re trying to subtly come on to him, he’ll act like he has no idea what you’re trying to imply, making you more frustrated and him happier seeing you want it so bad but trying to counter his calmness.

Leaving you to think about it— he’ll start the foreplay, but then in the middle tell you that he’s needed elsewhere, leaving you to think about what he had started all day long, this usually results in you wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing him deeply the instant he walks back through the door

At events— typically well behaved, unless it’s completely boring. He’s had his hand under the table and up your skirt/dress more than once though, quickly pulling away when you were almost there. This is when sex when you’re barely through the front door happens.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He’s personally relatively quiet— usually it’s because his mouth his preoccupied with bruising and musing your skin, but in between there’s throaty breaths and sweet nothing whispered.

Prefers to hear you— seriously, he loves hearing every whine, moan, whimper, scream, breath, gasp, and giggle you make.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants)

Plenty to be satisfied by— above average, but he’s not the guy to talk about it. If you have the pleasure of knowing, then you know full good and well.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

It’s pretty damn high— he just really really knows how to hide it until it’s the exact moment. He has a lot of sexual charisma without even trying, yet he typically remains totally calm about it until you’re the first one to take action, asking or physically.

HOWEVER— there are days where you’re headed out the door, and he catches a glimpse of your cute outfit. As you’re saying goodbye he catches you gently by the wrist and starts walking with you towards the bedroom “Baron,” you giggle, tossing your head back and following his lead, “I’m going to be late.” Catching up with him at the door, he wraps his arms around you, pulling you close, “you’re not going to be late,” he caressed your cheek, “you’re going to be altogether absent.”

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

You definitely fall asleep first— he likes watching you fall asleep afterwards, his fingertips still ghosting across your skin, as you make sure to keep yourself close to him. 

[iamthenightcolormeblack]

My Experience with Jane Austen Part 2: Reading the Books

In part one I laid out which books I read, which ones were my favorites and least favorites, and the adaptations I've seen. Now I'd like to talk about my reading experience.

Disclaimer: I’m not an expert, just a casual reader sharing some observations, feel free to correct me if I get some details wrong. Out of the books I’ve read I’m most familiar with Pride and Prejudice.

Let's face it. Reading Austen can be challenging and I understand why some people dislike Austen.

It's easy to perceive her novels as "boring" because on a surface level, not much happens. The characters are well-off people (in the upper half of society) who spend their time at home or traveling between social calls and it's easy to dismiss their conflicts as "first world issues." Settings are often indoors, reflecting how "confined and unvarying" the lives of the rich (especially women) were. The plots often move forward through dialogue or conversations rather than big dramatic events. The focus on marriage can also make the stories feel like antiquated relics of the past and can be hard to relate to.

The writing style is also different. There isn't much dialogue at times because Austen slips in lots of very subtle commentary or prefers to describe a character's external appearance or characteristics. Often big events like proposals are described briefly after they happen rather than during, which can make the story feel rather "dry." The books are narrated in third person and sometimes there is unreliable narration (Pride and Prejudice) where we get characters' multiple points of view, but all narrated in the third person as to give each one credibility and prove that it's hard to trust others. Austen's writing style means that readers have to fill in the blanks with their imagination. For example, she doesn't give exact physical descriptions of her characters, often relying on general characteristics like "tall," "handsome," or "amiable." In my previous reviews of Pride and Prejudice adaptations, I explored that intentional ambiguity as a big reason why the character of Mr. Darcy is alluring--because the reader forms a personal connection with the character by sketching his portrait alongside Elizabeth. The characters (their physical appearance and some of their motivations) are purposely mysterious and while it gives the reader lots of opportunities for engaging with the text, without historical/literary context for "filling in the blanks" it's easy to see the characters as stiff mannequins in strange clothing rather than human beings.

Austen as a romance writer: Her romances don't always match up with our perception of what a romance should be. Some people start Austen expecting intense emotions and outbursts of passion but become disappointed when presented with formal courting and stately dances instead. Emotions are often veiled behind dialogue and for a first-time reader it can be challenging to see a romance developing. Most of the time readers have to rely on the clues given by Austen (descriptions of characters "blushing," looking "pale," or losing their composure) to detect the stirrings of love, but on a first reading it's difficult to do so when one's trying to figure out the plot and the characters. Finally, the dialogue can't always be taken literally; lots of people, including me, were disturbed when Mr. Knightley said he loved Emma since she was 13, but it was actually a joke made in response to something she said.

Her books are products of their time, and I sure am not an expert in Regency era economics or social norms. Sometimes the implications of certain actions can be lost on a reader if they don't know about the social norms of the time (I had no idea that Darcy following Elizabeth around, alone, on her favorite walk at Rosings was a sign of his love for her). Differences in social class are also very subtle and while one can generalize the characters as all "well-off" people, they are separated by many levels of hierarchy and their ideas about social position and status affect how they interact with others outside of their station. Darcy looks down upon those whom he perceives to be below him, and while Emma wants to make an advantageous match for Harriet, Harriet's lower social position means that Emma's schemes are not likely to work.

Because of the unique quirks within the novels, the reader is required to go beyond the surface level of plot and appearance and read between the lines to understand character motivations and actions. Without historical context (Regency era society having little social mobility, women having few legal rights and needing to make good marriages to secure material comfort) or literary context (the Enlightenment, 18th century Gothic novels referred to in Northanger Abbey, the birth of the novel, early Romantic writers just to name a bit) reading between the lines is nearly impossible.

So why do we read Austen? Below are my personal reasons.

The novels feature female heroines that have dignity and self-respect. It's significant that the stories focus on women who are trying to live according to their own values and speaking their own minds rather than acquiescing to societal dictates. Elizabeth Bennet is revolutionary in part because she wants a marriage based on mutual admiration and respect between two partners who know each other well, rather than an economic arrangement for a home. One could go on forever about how Austen is a feminist, but, the characters don't act like modern day feminists--they are still people of their time. However, it's easy to assume "feminist" heroines have to have "aggressive" characteristics (rebelling, fighting, defiance) in order to be labeled as "feminist." Importantly, Austen's women are allowed to be vulnerable (they cry or struggle with their emotions) without that being a shameful thing. We also see different types of personalities celebrated: Jane Bennet, who is kind to everyone, is seen in a positive light rather than shamed for seeing good in everyone. Anne Elliot, who is regarded as "old," becomes more beautiful as she gets older and has a second chance of love. Emma Woodhouse is spoiled yet confident and assertive and "not likely to be well-loved" (paraphrase of Austen's commentary on Emma). Fanny Price is a shy person but still achieves her happy ending. Her heroines are real people who have flaws and get opportunities to learn and grow so that they can make their aspirations reality.

A unique take on the universal conflict of humans versus society: Austen's characters are bound by social norms of etiquette as well as a value system that idolizes wealth and connections above all else. Persuasion is a great story in part because it focuses on how Anne Elliot learns to follow her heart and avoid being "persuaded" by others (and by society) to follow a path that will not make her happy. She's had to live with the regret of following the well-intentioned but harmful advice of others (Austen notes that Lady Russell values social connections too highly) over her own feelings and judgment, nearly losing her chance to be with Wentworth. The romances are significant in that they reinforce the dignity and self-respect of the female heroines. To a certain extent, Austen's stories are realistic in that marriage is necessary for material well-being in a patriarchal society that provides few ways for women to provide for themselves. But most importantly, she also sees marriage as a means of affirming self-respect and dignity of the women. It's one of the few parts of their lives over which they have any control because they get to choose whom they marry (for the most part, unless the marriage is arranged). Their wish to marry for love is revolutionary because they dare to aspire for something more than wealth. They want their future partners to be their equals, someone who they can love and respect (or be totally honest with them) and who will provide the same in return. This line from Emma (the 2020 movie adaptation) sums it up: "I have none of the usual inducements of women to marry. Fame I do not want. Fortune I do not want. Consequence I do not want."

The difference between outward appearances and inner character is a fascinating theme that appears in several Austen novels, most notably Pride and Prejudice, where Wickham and Darcy are foils of each other ("one has got all the goodness, the other all the appearance of it"). A lot of the villains in Austen's novels are those who deceive others about their motivations or lie for their own advantage. A common trait these villains all have is that they have a charming outward appearance that masks their true natures; they don't look ugly nor are they unpleasant (ex. Wickham having great social skills, Willoughby following the trope of the knight rescuing Marianne as the damsel in distress but leaving behind many broken hearts, Mr. Elliott being charming and knowing exactly what to say and how to act but actually a swindler). In contrast, the "good" characters are honest, even at the cost of social displeasure, use manners/etiquette to show respect rather than deceive people, and act selflessly to prove their worth (actions speak louder than words). It can be summed up this way: "don't judge a book by its cover."

Psychology: Austen very effectively described hindsight bias when sarcastically commenting on how the village of Meryton turned on Wickham after the elopement with Lydia, when previously they regarded him as an "angel of light." She also understands how easy it is to manipulate peoples' minds through confirmation bias (Wickham telling Elizabeth all the dirt about Darcy, which she eagerly takes because she hates Darcy so much). She also knows that emotions can override people's judgment: "angry people are not always wise." It's fun seeing how her people are social animals who make flawed judgments based on first impressions/emotions.

The secondary characters: Mr. Collins the clergyman is the most famous and he's so funny because of his arrogance in spite of his low social position (he keeps worshiping Lady Catherine instead of respecting God). Another great one is Sir Walter Elliott, a nobleman who is vain and constantly checks himself in the mirror (the most obvious social criticism). Also Austen understood how women insult each other: through passive aggression (ex. Caroline Bingley and Louisa Hurst talking negatively about Elizabeth behind her back). Austen's female bullies use their talent and "good breeding" to intimidate or shame others.

The romance (no explanation needed): "You pierce my soul. I am half-agony, half-hope. I have loved none but you." I love how the couples learn about each other through many spirited conversations and become slowly fascinated with each other until they realize they are in love and then have a conflict between formality and their growing passion...or they fall back in love with each other...or they are friends who slowly realize that they are more than friends...okay I'll stop talking nonsense I've been trying so hard to be semi-scholarly

Tags: @talkaustentome @austengivesmeserotonin @austengeek @princesssarisa @appleinducedsleep @colonelfitzwilliams

[iamdarkness]

Taboo

Alfonse x Summoner.NSFW 18+

This one goes to the people who wanted an Alfonse Summer atl. At least we got Freyr.

 Taboo: from Tongan tabu ‘set apart, forbidden’

 Summoner POV

As a person who comes from the “World of Steel” I am be very used to most levels of nakedness in people. I mean, when you do P. E. at school or when you go to the gym or running at the park, or the beach, and watch TV; we are all bombarded by all kinds of nakedness. We are used to looking at other people’s bodies as something normal.

   When I got to Askr I met heroes of all kinds and many of them are just like me in that they find levels of nakedness normal. Take Hawkeye for for example. He is quite a gentleman and in his culture it is quite normal to be half naked.

 Leading the heroes I got used to them and their bodies enough that I view most of them with a more clinical eye, like a doctor would. When they are wounded and I help treat them, I see their bodies just as a doctor would. The same goes when I see them in the beach or the spring. This make them much more comfortable around me. So much so that some of the heroes have tried to play tricks on me and see me crack.

  Like the time the most unlikely pair, consisting of Niles and Henry played a trick on older Ike. They took his clothes when he was in one of the baths, locked his room and hid his clothes in my office (which is attached to Alfonse’s). They told him not to worry “ The Summoner is asleep.” I was definitely not asleep and saw the guy in all of his muscular glory. Did I get flustered? Not really. I mean at first it was like “WTF”, but I was not ogling the guy! He was all freaked out, and I got worried. Besides, I have seen him almost naked before. What is a little more skin? Well it wasn’t little to be fair…it was actually quite a lot…

  I was quietly reading a report on my writing desk, all hunched over, when he came silently in and stood right in front of me. I waited for him to talk. I thought it was Alfonse at first, coming to get my report, so I did not even say anything. I am used to him just coming in and sit to wait for me to finish my work quietly. Then Ike stands just in front of the desk and I look up to see a mop of dark blue hair over his “Ragnell”. I look all the way up to see Ike looking over at the bookcase behind me. He was not yet aware I was awake.

   -Ike? What are you looking for?- I ask calmly looking back to the bookcase behind me to see what he was looking for. I hear a yelp and something heavy falling down. I look around and find him on the floor covering himself with his hands. His eyes were wide opened and he could not talk for a second. He just kept opening and closing his mouth and said “ I can explain.”in a strangled voice. Alfonse chooses that exact moment to come inside and finds me standing up to give Ike my coat so he can cover himself up. What does he see? I am undressing my self in front of Ike and Ike is naked on the floor.

 ...NICE…

   Yes we were able to clear that up. Alfonse even laughed about it and still does sometimes, but that was only the beginning.

   Some time later Dieck comes inside the study Alfonse and I use in the library. Now we all know Dieck always uses the bare minimum on clothes, but this time he is wearing only his pants and boots. As soon as he comes in, he starts taking his pants off (And of course he is not wearing underwear) and looks at Alfonse and say.

   -Oh Your Majesty is here too? Oh don’t worry; I don’t mind.- He now is butt naked and kicking his boots off. I turn to Alfonse with a ‘WTF’ face and I see him tomato red and very angry. He looks at me and…Why…is he angry at me too? What did I do?

   -Dieck… what the hell is going on?- I ask calmly because I feel Alfonse is going to blow a gasket and any loud noise will set it off.

   -I am here for the check up.- He says simply and his smile falters a little, looking sideways at Alfonse. I focus on his face like it is a normal conversation. Doctors and nurses can do this and so can I.

   -What check up?

   -The one you ordered to check our birthmarks and scars, just in case we are killed and there is no other way to identify our bodies.- I turn to Alfonse and I give him a questioning look, but he appears to not have heard anything except the “the one you ordered”. He is looking at us both angrily back and forth.

   -Umm…Well now that you mentioned it… It sounds like a good idea, but I have never given that order. Whoever told you that? -Still focused on the face.

   -One of the soldiers…so it is not true?- He asks now red in the face, which is very weird because this man has no sense of shame when it comes to showing off. Then he goes to cover himself with his hands, but too late Dieck, I already saw it all.

   -Well no, but it is a good idea, right Alfonse?- I say thoughtfully. He seemed to have regained his senses and is now still red, but his face is lowered and he just nods.

   -Oh…I should go then and find that (he whispers some curses under his breath)…I… -He takes his pants and puts them on. I start making a note about the idea to tell Anna.- I am sorry ______.

   - Don’t worry Dieck. No harm done. This has happened before and just so you know I liked the idea, but if we do make it happen, it would be a member of the healing team doing the check up.- He looks skeptically at Alfonse who is pinching the bridge of his nose and has his eyes closed. You know, that face he does when he is about to lose his patience? Well that one.

   -Oh! Thanks for letting me know.

   -I want to know if you can identify the soldier that told you this. Please see me tomorrow after breakfast,at the training ground.- Alfonse tells Dieck and there is a determined look on his face. Dieck looks back at him and with just the same look, agrees to it.

   At the end we did use that idea, but meanwhile I had four other heroes coming in to undress in my presence. One of them being Lady Camilla who agreed to dismember whoever was the culprit of the trick. The other was Libra who looked about to faint when he was informed he had been tricked by someone. King Claude, who laughed about it and congratulated whoever had bested him in his kind of game; and finally Sonia, who paraded around the room, even after I told her it was not necessary for her to undress. The culprit ended up being Xane ,and Marth was not lenient with him. Neither was I. I mean whoever plays a trick like that on Libra?! Yes! He is a guy!

 This keeps happening periodically, specially with new heroes. It is like some kind of hazing ritual.

   At this point I have seen at least one version of all the heroes naked for one reason or another and like I said before, they seemed to be very comfortable around me and my professionalism.

  Yet I, being myself can’t get used to showing much of my own body due to my insecurities. I mean I may exercise and maybe train but I keep myself still kind of covered up almost all the time. It is a uniform after all. I even have to wear that tiara they gave me. I look like royalty XD

  Askr itself has it’s own norms and they are far more conservative when it came to dress codes and overall behavior. I mean Alfonse sometimes sounds like I imagine my great grandpa sounded back in the day. And this is when I realized something. I have never seen Alfonse in any kind of undress and…It kind of bother me. Why? Because he was the only one person I was attracted to in all of Askr. I loved that man’s mind, heart, personality and skill…in everything he did.

 I knew I was in love with Alfonse at this point, but it had taken another Alfonse showing a little chest to understand that I was the the most sexually frustrated of all my life and that looking at his chest was doing things no one else had done in their entire nakedness. Hell not even porn or hentai had given me the high I got from imaging my Alfonse in that outfit. I mean…not that I used to watch porn or hentai. I know what they are, but the time I did watch, it was all meh. I even thought it was funny. I mean, who isn’t curious about that ? I suppose we have all gone at least once and taken a look at it? Right?…right?

   I remember plain as day I stood there stunned into silence, and probably mouth agape the whole time. I must have looked like an idiot or a pervert! My Alfonse was red as a tomato and trying so hard to avoid my gaze. At the end of the day, the only thing I got out of him was a little laugh and a small  “I am so glad, we do not share that costume here in Askr.”

 …..FUCK!

   I find my self starting at his UN-globed hands when he is drinking tea or eating. I try not to, but the white smooth surface of the back of his hands contrast with the rough calloused fingers, so used to gripping sword and shield. They can also play the sweetest of sounds on a violin and I find that so sexy. Those same long white fingers so tempting and beautiful in their strength and skillfulness. Sometimes I stop my self from wondering how they would feel and...<<What them fingers do Alfonse?!! No ! Stop!>>

  It is true I touch him often. Touch is my love language and even though I always make sure to give people that do mind, their personal space, I do know that Alfonse does not mind. Alfonse may not be a huger, but it does not mean he does not enjoy being touched by people he holds close to him or for them to be near him. Also yes, I have helped him with his wounds but, most of the time I am to damn worried to actually take time to enjoy the touch of his skin and to be hones I find that quite a violation of trust, so I do not indulge in it.

   Sometimes he has caught me starting at the brim of his scarf and under-armor for a glimpse of his neck and I feel so embarrassed by it, but the thought of kissing him there is so tempting to me and I long so much to see past that barrier. He always covers himself again when he sees it is revealing more that that fraction of his neck… And Lord above! Is he smiling?

   The curse of all of this is, that yes we have Summer here in Askr, but it is not as hot and you have to travel to the beach to be seriously hot. He has never gone to the beach with us, since I arrived here.  I am not counting the times we do go, because Anna comes up with some scheme to raise money for the order, because we all wear the uniform then. Whenever he goes to the hot spring; he does it by himself, when Sharena and I are doing something else. Even while going to the river he wears long sleeves, because …bugs. I have asked Sharena and she just answered that she had not noticed and why I was interested….Oh you know…scientific purposes Sharena…

  At first I feel so sad and rejected. Fine…I get it. You are not interested in me and do not welcome my intrusive looks…but…he gives me so many mixed signals! Why is he so close at meetings and I can feel his fingers touching mine. He has taken my hands in his many times. When another hero flirts with me he always appears out of nowhere with knitted brows and a disapproving stare. Prince Hrid came to say ‘Hi’ once and to talk to me, and next thing I know Alfonse drops everything to be next to me as well. Hrid even asked me if we were engaged ! I wish Hrid!

 Well I suppose that is what friends do right? Maybe he does not want me falling in love with a hero and leaving Askr while they need me here. But I talked to him already. I am not returning “home” and I am not leaving…because…How can I leave and not see him again? Not that I wanted to return “home” to begin with, and it seemed impossible to fall in love with someone else other than him.

   I have seen heroes flirting with him as well, and he seems unimpressed by any of them. I have heard other heroes telling the rejected ones, “He has eyes only for the Summoner.” …But what had they seen that I don’t? So I go and ask Sharena and she just laughs it up and says to give him time. He is shy and self conscious.

 …So he does like me, but is very shy and very busy and very self conscious and insecure? OK…I can work with that. Like a great elf king said once; “I am patient; I can wait.” But not that much cause I’m not an elf.

   Then Lif came and I thought “Hell! Even his grandpa show more skin than him!”

 Lif came like a shadow from the grave that will take your last breath. To be honest, he looked more like Death than Hel herself. Except… He was HOT. I felt bad for even thinking that, when the Goddess of Death was trying to end us all, and most specially Alfonse. And you see, that is when I got angry. How the heck was an ancestor of the Askr royalty helping that crazy witch, end his descendants?

   Lif attacked us and tried to, I suppose…kidnap me? He made a bee line to where I was standing and fell all the soldiers on his way. It was weird! I was about to bolt, because the training I had, would not stop the guy who just felled like twenty guys on his way, but something, not fear, took hold of me and I just…those eyes… It was like ten seconds in which I looked into his eyes and saw so many emotions in them, that I could not understand and then I could not move….ten seconds and he was already there in front of me, not attacking but there!

   Alfonse came before Lif had taken me or whatever he was going to do. He ended up with a bruised knee and ankle. I went to help him with some salves and bandages when we were done with the rest of the more serious injured people. He took off his shoe and rolled up the under armor. His ankle was not swollen and his knee was bruised but it was not swollen. I put some salve any way.  

  -What happened? I saw it from afar and felt I would not get there fast enough. Where was Dimitri?- He said a little angry, since King Dimitri was one of my supports alongside him and he was tasked today with being my guardian. I was still massaging his ankle not even thinking about it.

  -They were circling us from the back and Dimitri had to fall back to take care of it…Umm…I don’t know what happened. It was weird. He looked at me and he just…

   -I saw it too.- Said Sharena who came to stand behind Alfonse.- It was like he hit you with a spell.

   -It didn’t feel, like a magic attack. I was more like… I don’t know…- I felt weird about it, so I just made some stupid joke to lighten the mood- Why didn’t y’all tell me your grandpa was so hot? Heh , heh, heh heh! What? It’s not my fault! He kind of looks like you Alfonse.- Hey I was nervous and I do this when I get nervous!

   At first They gave me their “ Seriously?” stare, but Sharena catches on quick and starts laughing out loud. Alfonse? Well he scowls and close his eyes and then takes his foot away from my hands. What?? wait I didn’t get the chance to enjoy that! Damn! Next thing I know, he is taking his sock and starts putting in on. I see his smooth white skin peppered with… is that golden hair? Does it have a blue in it? and my throat closes dry. I follow his movements, as hypnotizing as a dance, rolling up that white sock that is taking away my hopes and dreams. Then the under armor goes down and boot on. It took him like ten seconds, that I totally did not count. Then his hands were covered as well.

 I look up at him with my hands still hovering in the same place as when he took away his leg and see him smiling sideways. I compose myself and…Wait…What? Is he doing this on purpose? Seriously? And the worst part is, that it should not bother me at all, but the truth is…I am very bothered by it. He has become a some sort of taboo to me and GOD how I love the guy! If it was someone else like Robin who never looses that coat of his and globes; I would not care! But I love him Lord. Why is he like this? I used to thank God I was not one of those feet fetishes people, and now I will be dreaming of his feet.  Thanks Alfonse!

 Joking. I respect feet fetish people. To each their own.

 The point is that I feel like those people in Victorian novels, where they get all hot and bothered by someone’s ankle showing more than normal! Oh but what an ankle that was tho’. Stop. Focus!

   I resolve to see him as clinically as any other hero and not stare at the shape of his ears and think of how I want to whisper how much I love him while kissing it…Grrr…I’m doing it again.

   Days later we see Lif again and Alfonse is cursed…We have nine days. Good thing Hel has not seen The Ring or it might have been only seven. Yeah I joke now, but back then I was about to commit murder and then kill myself…or something just as dramatic.

 We searched for days, a way to undo the curse and we found nothing. You’d think I would have taken a page from Dean Winchester's book and played the “last days on Earth” trope to get into his pants; but to be honest nothing like that even crossed my mind at the time! I was so desperate to keep him alive that nothing else matter to me. He could have paraded naked in front of me at the time I was at the library and I would not have noticed…Well, maybe I would have, but it didn’t happen so it doesn’t count

   Until the sixth night of the curse.

   There was a knock at the door to my chamber. Oh! Did I mentioned we have a shared study? Because we do. It is between our chambers and it can only be entered from our rooms. It was his idea and it was for safety reasons. The nights I have spent sitting by the chimney staring at his door…but never mind that. He knocked at my chamber door and when I opened it, he was about to leave. He was wearing sleeping pants, a long sleeve night shirt and socks, all in white.

   We had fallen asleep next to each other at the library before of course, especially during the days he was cursed. And yes we used to huddle together during our march through Nifl. It was effing cold OK. We also usually had our sleeping rolls next to each other during campaigns, because we fall asleep while talking or after a watch,but we had never slept together on a bed. Beds are…intimate to him I suppose.

This night however, he came in and he just goes on and sit on my bed. He said nothing. I sat next to him and reached over to give him a hug. He took this as his cue and hugged back and didn’t let go. He clung to me with such force I was starting to feel dizzy. I asked him to stay the night. He nodded and still said nothing. I blew out the candle I was using to read and we went to sleep while he hugged me tightly. It was no surprise to me, but it was not so much fear that I could see in him. It was so many emotions, that fear seemed to be the least of his problems; but of course he was afraid. We spend together the following nights of his curse. Funny thing is …all those nights I dreamed of his Grandpa, watching over from my balcony window.

  And did I had a glimpsed of something while sleeping together? No. He came in and blew the candle out and by the time I woke up he was already awake. Not like I would have gone and taken advantage of his sleeping form to explore or something. I just thought later that if I had woken up before him, then may be I would have seen his shirt riding up or his pants lowered a little or maybe his sock had fallen off or something. Oh well…They were still the best nights of my life, even if they didn’t feel like that at the time. I mean, I got to be held like I was the most precious and sacred treasure in the world by my beloved. I would care for nothing else.

 Then…Grandpa is actually Alfonse from the future…

 Lif, as he goes by now, told us everything that had happened in his Askr. Which is weird because I had been dreaming of something like that and I thought it was stress.

 We spent some days in that dead world and I got to see Lif a few times. He looked curious about me, but at the same time I noticed he was avoiding me. The way he looked at Sharena really broke my heart every time I caught him starting at her. In turn Sharena looked ready to adopt him, if only he would let her do it.

One of those night I was having a nightmare about me dying while I saw Anna drop dead as if by magic. I woke up to find Lif watching me from afar. I got up and went to talk to him before he ran away.

 We talk for a while. I do not want to intrude on painful memories, but he seems to know me so well it feels natural to talk to him, just like it is to Alfonse.

 -You two…you are not lovers yet?- He asks eyeing me sideways.

 -No. Where you…?

 -Yes. After the first attack. We spent some weeks fighting Hel together. Is he still playing hard to get then?-Oh and there it was.

 -Oh! So it is not my imagination! God I thought I was going insane! Oh that Bunny suit messed me up! I love that chest!…wait. Is that why you have your chest out? - He nods.- And the glow…I noticed Thrasir does not have that glow and I love glow in the dark…ermm… It is an awesome design I have to say. I like it. It is sexy.- I felt bad for the lack of tact but at the same time he needed to know I did not find him ugly or scary any more.

 -You were always odd like that Summoner.- He says that in his deep voice, and it conveys a lot of feelings.

 Did he let me touch his chest? No…and I didn’t really ask to be honest. My respects to Lif. He gave up everything for us. I owe him a lot.

 Well, now I knew for sure and I could confront him or let him keep doing it, or maybe just seduce him. It was strange. I always thought it only worked on men, but I guess it does work goes both ways! At least it help me to fall in love with his mind and heart first, not his body.

 Next day we were walking out of Lif’s castle when the floor gave in and Alfonse and I fell through it. Luckily it was not even high, but I am not as tall as Alfonse and with my luck, part of my coat and shirt got caught on a sharp part of a broken stone pillar, and I was left hanging about one feet off the ground by one shoulder. I tried wiggling off the coat but I could not do it.

 -Are you hurt _____?- Alfonse asks worriedly getting up from where he landed on the floor.

 -No! I think I just got scratched! But I can’t unhook my self.

 - Only you _____.- Says Alfonse smiling and getting dust out of his uniform.

 -Thanks Alfonse…Can you help me down?

 He looks around and up for a while and then stares at me for a few minutes. Probably thinking how to approach the problem, but seriously I think he could just reach up and unhook me. He is tall enough for that.

  He comes close to me and circle my waist with his left arm and places his left leg between my legs to find leverage on the pillar behind me. He reaches over my head with his right arm to unhook my coat. Being this close to him is so exiting. My heart begins to race and I start feeling kind of hot. I try not to think about it and avoid my gaze from his face, but I can’t help looking at him.

 There was not much light coming down from the hole above us, but I could see the side of his face and ear…yeah the same ear I wanted to…OK! Not now! He took this time to move his leg up to hold my weight up, and I was left straddling it. He kind of wiggled it to adjust and…Oh boy! It felt good, good.

<< Oh no! Don’t move it anymore…>> I was praying for him not to move that leg, because God in heaven, I was going to come right there and then.

 …And he moved it again but higher and harder…

 -Mmmn- Oh GOD! I did not just moan into his ear. I mean, I am not horny all the time, come on! It is just that, he is so close I can smell him. He smells so deliciously manly, and his leg is touching just the right places!!

 Meanwhile he is frozen in place. It seems like he is thinking about what to do or maybe just not thinking at all. I personally think he will be leaving me hanging there to be hones. I am so embarrassed, I lower my face to hide it, but we are so close, I end up hiding my face in the crook of his neck.

 He gasps and I can feel his arm tightening on my waist and I get even closer to him. I feel him moving his head a little as if to see my face and then…he moves the leg again as if testing it. This time slowly. I tried and fail to stifle another moan but it still comes out. He moves his hips upwards and keeps moving the leg. It creates just the right amount of friction needed. I feel my hips move on their own to meet him.

 -Alfonse…- My legs tighten around his and when I come close to his manhood I can feel his arousal as well.

 -_________- He whispers my name softly as my leg touches him. All this while he is still moving that blessed leg back and ford. I am panting at this point and he feels like he is in the same situation. All of this brought me to my knees. I came hard. I sat there shuddering in his arms and biting my hand because the stone caused every little noise to sound louder. I felt him kissing my hair.

 We heard some loud footsteps up above us and then…

 -Hey! You need help down there!- I hear Barst’s voice over my head. He does not sound or look like he heard anything.

 -We are fine…I just need …to get her down.- Alfonse’s voice sound a little strained but Barst takes it to mean he es working on helping me down. Just like that, he unhooks my coat and lowers me down gently, still not letting go.

 -I’m getting a ladder!- He’s gone and we can hear his footsteps getting farther away.

 Alfonse steps forward still with me in his arms ,until my back is against the pillar and then looks at me and kisses me hard.

  I am dizzy by the time he lets go. - He is coming back.- He says against my neck and bites into it. I am sure they could hear that whimper that left my mouth. And can you blame me? He just bit into my neck and at the same time moved his hips in a way that I could feel his manhood rub against me. Both his hands were lowered to my hips and he used them to have me closer to him. All this while, he gave this utterly sexy guttural sound that almost sounded like a growl… He lets go, takes a step back and turns around, a moment later a ladder is lowered.

 -You go. I will explore down here a moment.- He says in a firm voice not looking at me.

  I go up the ladder still a little shaky and flushed. I tel Barst to let him explore to see what he can find, but to leave the ladder for him to get up. Darn I wanted to go “exploring” with him. Just imagining what he is doing down there is doing things to me. Good thing everyone thought I was scared of what had happened. I only had a scratch to show.

 He came back much later.

 …Well that was a lot of “exploring”.

 He comes to the camp outside the castle and we are ready to leave just after lunch. At first he seems reluctant to be near me. I am freaking out because well, overthinking and anxiety mixed with insecurities is a bad mix. Finally after half a day of travel, we make camp and post the watch. He comes and sit by my side when I am eating. We don’t talk about it until we are left alone to go to rest.

 -I…I apologize Alfonse. It wasn’t my intention. I…it just happened.- I tell him when he doesn’t speak.

 - It wasn’t my intention either…you don’t have to apologize. I have been wanting to tell you. I…have feelings for you. I just did not want to say it in a situation like that and not at a time like this. I wanted it to be special. I am in love with you _____.

 -I love you too Alfonse. I have for a long time… I’m sorry I ruined it…but I could not help but enjoy having you so near.- He is scarlet red, but smiling.- Which by the way, is your fault.- He looks puzzled.- Sir you are playing dirty.

 -How so? - He asks.

 -You are playing hard to get with my heart.

 -Oh that game you started playing with mine?-He asks arching an eyebrow.

 -What? Me? When? You don’t even let me see your hands for God’s sake. I never saw you flirting with me.

 -I…hold your hands.- He says blushing. Well that was so Alfonse of him.-…erm…You used to never take off that coat or those pants. You were all mysterious and unreachable- Mysterious? Well, firs time someone said that about me.

 -You wanted me to take off my pants?- He turns red again -I was…insecure. I mean look at those gorgeous women out there and I get all jealous and insecure. I felt safe with my coat on. What was your excuse?

 -The same…I am jealous and insecure…Well, I was at first, but then I noticed something about you. - I give him a questioning look.- You could look at any hero in the nude and not get flustered by it. When I asked you why; you told me they where just natural human bodies to you. You sounded like they were nothing special; like you had analyzed bodies so much you did not find them beautiful or sacred any more. You said you studied them at school and everyone paraded half naked in musical shows and the like. Later you told me you did find them beautiful in an artistic or scientific kind of way but it did not make it better to me.

 How to make someone like you fall in love….with me? I listened to you and how you praised my intellect and skills, and I knew you were attracted to those qualities, but there are other men with intellect and skills at home too. I needed to find a way to be special to you.

  It was only when we met that other Alfonse dressed in a bunny costume that I understood. The way you looked at him made me so envious and jealous. What was so special about him? I saw you ogle his body like he was the most sinful of apparitions, and he looked just like me! I was frustrated. That same evening I saw you looking differently at me, and I could not help but feel elated about it.

 I spied you looking intently at my naked hands and when I put on my globes, that look of disappointment did not escape my eyes. It occurred to me that you had never seen me in any state of undress and it must have been strange to you. I understood how you felt now. I have been watching heroes for years. Beautiful women I have been watching on a daily basis and none of them feel spacial, even if they have beautiful bodies,or incredible skills. Yet the day I saw you wearing regular clothes I …well I…- He blushed, lowered his face and left the sentence hanging.

 I flirted with the idea of letting you see more of me, but then I would just become like any other hero, and I wanted more than that. I want so much more.- Now he looked at me, and there was so much love and affection in his eyes, I could have melted in the spot.

 I have to confess I enjoyed seeing you flustered when you could see a little of me. That made me feel special, but I did not want to be just a mystery to you either. I wanted your heart and soul,your love not only your lust. I needed to to know you loved me.

  I had a talk last night with Lif. He told me they were lovers …His summoner and him. He told me I was being a fool just wasting time. He said that if you were anything like his ______, then you loved me, jut like his summoner did him. _______, I want what they had…I want everything, but I am afraid. Between this situation and the war with Embla…You understand me, don’t you?

 - I understand you. I suppose the time is not right. I don’t want to look back on the day we finally are together and remember all these tragedies. You know Alfonse. You were right about me and my take on “nakedness”. I guess we are on the same page now about desire too. To us, Desire comes from love. That is what makes you and your body especial to me. I fell in love with your sharp mind and your heart first, but also thanks to your “efforts” I can understand and appreciate how special a lover’s body is. You made me understand, that what I feel for you is true love, not just infatuation or lust. Thank you. We can wait if that is your wish…if not…I will not say ‘no’ to that to be honest. I leave it to your discretion…But Alfonse, next time you go “exploring” , I want you to know, I can always lend you a hand. ;)

                                     ~*~

  I write this on the day of Devotion. Alfonse and I had another talk and at the end, we decided to wait. Alfonse’s position is a little difficult, and now even more so after his father’s death. His personality makes me forget he is royalty, but the weight of his crown is a lot. He has more responsibilities and images to uphold. I want to think we have time to enjoy each other’s company, hearts and mind before we rush things any way.

 Well, I have to go, my family (Yes they are my family now) is waiting for me. Sharena informed me there is a huge surprise for me. Well, Anna did owed me some favors and she designed the costumes for the Royal family.I can’t wait see Alfonse! I hear he is wearing sandals XD Wink, wink!

 PS: Wait! I just realized something! Lif was actually spying on us!?

[tempenensis]

philosophy of “moving forward”

Human civilization as a whole is something that always changing. Culture as part of civilization construct adapts and evolves together with human who creates it. In the evolution of ancient to modern culture, believe in myth and words of mouth on the nature of unknown things changes gradually to studying them using science; in this science is the driving force of culture change and the old believe is the opposing force.   

A subtle theme that slowly surfacing is the clash of old tradition to the new, more progressive thinking. Old tradition and rules are opposed and changes are happening gradually - and while it’s been bubbling for long, it's now culminated in one controversial life of Itadori Yuuji. 

the old and rotting : the Great Three Families

One of main undertones during student fights in the Kyoto exchange goodwill arc is how old jujutsu tradition underlined to be contrasting with the more modern principles most Tokyo students follows. This especially prominent in the fights of Momo vs Kugisaki and Fushiguro vs Kamo, and secondary drive in Maki vs Mai.      

In one of elite jujutsushi bloodline, the Zen’in family, perfection is a must.  “Possessing inherited curse technique of Zen’in family”. Other than that, they are failure in starting life as jutsushi. Even among them, women are not allowed to stand in the starting line. 

Looking at these alone, it implies on how old tradition put manifesting inherited technique among anything else and especially the discrimination towards women. It reflects the view in our real history, where women used to be banned from doing works and jobs considered masculine -- a view that has largely abandoned since women rights to be in the same level with men gained approval worldwide. 

Momo’s saying this to Kugisaki is not wrong per se, since she herself probably experiences this; emphasizing Kugisaki’s naivety to old tradition that a lot of jujutsushi still largely follow. Kugisaki herself is also not in the wrong; she’s someone who puts her ego over everything - she has her own individualistic view that keeps her apart as her own person.

Another view of old tradition is the bloodline over everything else. It’s understandable if you consider the way they prized inherited technique over everything. To ensure that the inherited technique can manifest along the bloodline, one of the way is to keep the bloodline ‘pure’, to say. That’s why marriage among blood relation is probably the norm, even though the only clue of this is Naoya in the latest chapter, who considers which one of the twin is “good”, further emphasizing how little women is respected in this household. 

Ironically in bloodline with a lot of inbreeding, it’s not the strength that is accumulated, but rather the weakness. For example, in Habsburg dynasty who used to rule Europe in the past, their long history of inbreeding caused their offspring to manifest a lot of genetic disorder - one of which is a physical disability named as their own, Habsburg jaw. Charles II of Spain was the most famous example of this. As a result of inbreeding along the Habsburg bloodline, Charles II inherited a lot of genetic disorders including the Habsburg jaw. He was even know as “the Bewitched” because of his appearance. 

In line with this are Kamo Noritoshi and Fushiguro Megumi, who were born not out of inbreeding, but possessing the inherited technique of their respective clan. Noritoshi manifests Blood manipulation technique despite being a mistress’s son. While we don’t know Megumi’s mom, it is implied that she was a normal person since Touji had left the Zen’in and would be hard-pressed if he was to marry a woman from the same bloodline since he hated the clan. And I would not be surprised if Satoru is revealed actually to be a mistress son too in the future.

As if to condemn this believe, Heavenly Restriction sometimes manifest in these clan. Touji and Maki are bound with restriction of having reduced curse energy in exchange of superhuman strength. If you think about it, superhuman strength is actually way more effective weapon to be used in exorcising curse than innate curse technique that is usually simpler and weaker. All they need is some cursed tools to use. But of course, old tradition condemns them since barehanded, both Touji and Maki can’t exorcise curses.

Women being lesser than men, bloodline purity and inherited technique obsession, twins being bad omen, and the heavenly restriction being a viewed as a curse rather than a gift -- all of the believe that composed the old tradition is actually more harmful for the jujutsushi society as a whole. Theirs is an industry who is always chronically short-handed, so you would think that if there are more people available to do the job is better. But they don’t think so just because of outdated tradition. And Zenin Naoya is created as the poster child of it. He embodies everything old that Gojo Satoru discards and loathes. 

education as driving force : Kyoto vs Tokyo

Back in vol 0, Getou calls Kyoto to be holy land of jujutsu and Shinjuku, Tokyo to be crucible of curses, where large number of curses can be found.

If we look over the history of these two places, it’s quite reasonable. Kyoto used to be the old capital of Japan, used to be named Heian. As we know, Heian period when Kyoto was designated as Japan capital is known as jujutsu golden age, when jujutsu developed rapidly, curses ran amok, and Sukuna trumped over everyone as the King of curses. We still don’t know where each of Great Families (Osanke) designated locations, but as the remaining of old capital, it is actually not surprising if the Osanke is located mainly in Kyoto, especially the Zen’in and Kamo. This also implies in Naoya speaking Kansai dialect and how Kyoto school shaped.   

The influence of old tradition is prominent in Kyoto Jujutsu school. First, most of the students are somehow connected to jujutsu families. Noritoshi is Kamo clan’s heir. Mai is one of the Zen’in. Momo with her way of speaking seems also to be raised in a jujutsu family. Kokichi has Heavenly restriction which we know is inherited among children of jujutsu clan. Other than them, Toudou and Miwa seem to be not from jujutsu clan, but they are probably admitted because of influence of their mentors - and the two of them have different mindset compared to the rest of the students. 

Second, when the Kyoto principal asked the students to kill Yuuji during exchange meetings, the four agreed to it readily since that’s how their custom dictates. Todo did not like that idea and Miwa is reluctant, but she still goes along. However she then apologizes to Tokyo students via Maki.  

Contrasting to Kyoto school, the Tokyo school is a bit departed from old jujutsu custom. Most of the students are not affiliated with jujutsu families. Maki and Megumi does have Zen’in blood, but the two of them hate the clan and everything it represents. We still have not much information on Toge and Inumaki clan in general. This also applies to students in previous generation too. Nanami, Haibara, Getou; the three of them are not from jujutsu families. Gojou is from one of the Osanke, but he loathes their custom and tradition, which might  be his main motivation to go to Tokyo school. Other than them, we still don’t know about Mei Mei, Shoko, and Utahime.

If I have to name one main characteristics that drive Tokyo school foundation is that they learn. Different from Kyoto whose philosophy influenced largely by traditional value set in stone, Tokyo school learns from mistake, learns how the era changes, learns how jujutsu changes so that they can be more humane, then develops to be an unique entity. This is largely due to Yaga’s influence.

But because of him (Itadori), there are certainly lives that was saved. In fact this time he cooperates with Todo to drive away the special-grade (curse spirit). This is not limited on the students, but after this they will accumulate a lot of regrets. Aah, I should have done that, I wanted it to be like this. Aah, I should have said it, I wanted to say it. 

Whether the decision regarding Itadori is correct, truthfully I don’t know. But for now, how about we watch over him?

Yaga Masamichi is one great educator. Rather than binding them to the existing tradition, he let the students have their own view and act responsibly. This is the wisdom that build the foundation and general philosophy of Tokyo school. And his view influence Gojo, who used to be his student, in teaching the new generation. For example this; when he asks of  Megumi’s opinion of what they should do with Yuuji. And because of it, they bends an existing law to let Yuuji alive; a very blatant opposition to old custom. 

In addition, Gojo rather tends and teaches the new generation despite wants to kill the upper management; this might also largely because of Yaga’s influence. The two of them accumulate the same regret from the incident that makes Getou to stray and learn from it -- and that regret is what shapes the learning and teaching in Tokyo school in the current time.

While the two seemingly cut from the same clothes, Tokyo school can afford to be different from their Kyoto counterpart in their teaching because of several things. First is their location. As the capital was moved from Kyoto to Tokyo, Tokyo’s population grows. More human means more negative emotion, meaning the curses also evolved to be stronger. The reason why Getou called Shinjuku the crucible of curses is because Shinjuku is red-light district, where negative emotion is probably the strongest, making curses found there also stronger than any other place. As their enemy grows stronger, jujutsushi themselves also needs to be stronger than them to be able to exorcise them. In addition, the school is where Master Tengen planted his root so to speak, and they also need the strength to protect him too. They can’t afford old tradition to weaken and hold them back, so the Tokyo jujutsushi’s thinking start to depart from old custom. The second reason is because of Gojo; that in itself is self-explanatory. 

All in all, education as a whole system is not only designed to merely giving knowledge, but also to give the young the necessities so they can develop into a proper member of society. Good education system adapts to the current era and relevant view on the development of society. In the real world, modern society aligns largely with science, so science and its philosophy are integrated as fundamental parts of modern education system. And character building is also important as part of the system -- for example being critical, to be curious and question things, is an important traits to have because human curiosity is what makes us study things we don’t understand and makes science develops in the first place -- subsequently modernize human society as a whole. 

But of course, it’s all not without repercussion. Since old tradition still prevails and holds tightly by the authority, it’s no wonder that Tokyo school is now facing difficulty after the chaos that is Shibuya. 

[redspiderling]

MCU Breakdown: Black Widow, Part 1

I can’t believe this is happening 😭

First of all, congratulations to all of you who’ve been here all these years. We got it. We begged for years, and it’s finally here.

For once I wasn't dreading revisiting this film to write down what I got from it. I felt more like I might not do it justice. This film is so special to me, but here it is, the MCU Breakdown of Black Widow, part 1 (of who knows how many).

I remember back when I started running this blog and talking about a hypothetical Black Widow movie that had never been announced, always "yeah, we would be happy to do it, maybe, someday in the future", and arguing that it would be important for women and girls, no matter its content. I'm so glad we got it like this. So, so glad.

The rest under the cut.

Let's start with some technical details. The film has a lot of setups and callbacks, nothing is done in chance. For example, I love how the light, and the sounds we hear when we first, and last, see Natasha in the film, are the same. We greet her in bright -birds cheeping- morning light, while she's riding her bike home, to her family

and we leave her in bright -birds cheeping- morning light, while she's riding her bike home, to her family (I'm using the term family very liberally here in reference to the Avengers for the sake of the movie, bear with me, you know how I feel about those dudes).

It's signifying new beginnings, each time, not endings. Notice how, what we see is natural light, which makes this scene pop out, and look more real because the light is coming from the sun, and isn’t artificially made on VFX software. You will notice the stark differences in colours and lighting when the emotions and the atmosphere change in this film, because there is a visual language being employed here, the director has a story to say, and she uses all the tools she has to tell it. The light is exactly the same in those 2 scenes, because Cate wants us to make that connection, even if we make it unconsciously.

Natasha is placed in such a positive way, both at the start and the end of the film. There's this discussion about how "real" their little family was, but it was the characters that muddled up that image. The reality of their lives in Ohio is presented in a happy way, that had deep rivers under the surface, for sure. This wasn't accidental, for a lot of reasons.

First of all, if you take it the literal way, they were spies, and had to present themselves as normal. If you take it the allegorical way, any girl could fall victim to trafficking, and if you take it the character way, both Scarlett and Cate wanted to showcase that Natasha is human. They also wanted to give her something that wasn't always dripping with pain and sadness. They were both parts of her life, yes, but there was also joy, and light, and once upon a time she had been a kid, playing with her sister.

Also, and this has been mentioned before but it bears repeating: I love the actress they chose for young Natasha, and I love how they presented her character. She's allowed to be a young teenage girl. She's not sexualised. She's at that gangly stage between childhood and adulthood, and there's nothing sexual about it, no provocative clothing, no excessive makeup. She's a kid.

Plus, I know Cate said the actress already had her hair dyed blue and they just decided to let her have it, but I think it works well for Natasha's character. That small act of defiance, even that early on, against the system that wanted to break her. Also, the film gives us such great character moments, because they let the camera roll and don't rush through scenes, look at Natasha looking at Melina comforting Yelena. We can see the pain, the fear, where she knows that this isn't going to last, and wonders about what will become of them once their lives begin to unravel.

We also get to see the joy on her face, the wonder of discovering the world, how often do you get to see Marvel characters do this, just live in the moment?

Bioluminescence: the production and emission of light by a living organism. Or how Natasha is a bright light, that shines from within. Not my words, Cate Shortland's words. I felt it when I was watching this scene, but it was lovely to have it verified in one of her interviews. I wish I could meet her, and tell her that everything she wanted to put on screen came through, incandescent and crystal clear. Fireflies are a symbol for Natasha, as a bright light that shines from within, and never dies.

Small details that I love, the magnet on the fridge: Don't forget, above a picture of Natasha. LIKE WE EVER COULD, CATE.

We have another setup here, where the family gathers up to have dinner together. Even the sitting arrangement is the same as later on in the film.

Notice also how both young, and adult version of Natasha, communicate so well with Melina, just with their eyes. It doesn't necessary show a deep history between them, but it does show a bone deep level of understanding. Not just of their current circumstance, but of their future, and of what it will do to them. Melina knows what's coming and she's says it "I'm sorry", but they're both resigned to their fate, Melina because she doesn't see a way out, and Natasha because, well, here she's a kid, and therefore is powerless.

The dynamics between Yelena and Alexei is so different. Yelena is young and doesn't understand, so they're speaking about completely different things. "I don't have my shoes" is what she says, and it's heartbreaking in its innocence, as Alexei is loading his gun and reading himself for battle. We can still see that he's not indifferent to her, telling her she can have "fruit loops in the car". He's not a monster, he just doesn't have a choice (or at least, he thinks he doesn't).

Also, notice how the camera angles are employed here: Natasha and Melina look each other eye to eye, Yelena looks up to Alexei, Alexei looks down on her, there is an imbalance of power and understanding in the second set of images, and the camera tells us that.

Melina doesn't let Natasha take the photo album. For one thing, it's certain that Natasha wouldn't be able to keep it. For another, Melina wanted the memories, and probably didn't want anyone else to realise/think that they cared about their little family unit.

There's just a lot of thought that's been put in the details of the script, to show us their bond, their attempts to hide it, to show the characters' personality in everything around them (notice the plants that are ever present in Melina's home, in Ohio and later in Saint Petersburg). She might seem cold, she has been through a lot, but she cares. And that care has brought her pain. And we have to see that pain, because we get the quiet moments like this one, where she stands alone in an empty home knowing that part of her life is over, never to return.

The mission, is the last thing Melina asks about. The last thing Alexei mentions, the last thing either of them cares about. First, she refused to accept that they had completed the mission and were now hunted, then she accepted it and they loaded their family in the car, and then she asked about the leaked files.

Also, notice how that shot is framed. Both images silhouetted by the light because it’s the moment and the prop smack down in the middle of the frame that’s important, now what they’re going through, emotionally, they’re not themselves in that moment, they’re nameless, tools of the trade, expendable in front of that tiny floppy disk.

Yelena is singing while the rest are plunging in despair, but still humour her and play her song.

I found this shot a bit... Jarring. I get it that for American audiences this would show that they're actually leaving "home" behind, but for the rest of us... Eeeh, I'll give it a pass because it is an American production and this is just something to be expected. I mean, Yelena's song was American Pie. We get it, you still love America, just because you're making a film about Russian spies doesn't mean you're a commie Marvel, it's ok.

But in any case, the setup for the action scene here was excellent. Happy, familiar music playing, car is on the main road, car goes off the main road familiar music gets toned down and eventually completely lost in the darkness.

Yelena knows what to do, we see it, so that we know that this 6 year old girl who holds her stuffed animal and walks barefoot has practiced for this moment.

By the way, Natasha did take another item with her along with the photobooth pictures (it also looks like a photo album with Disney princesses on it), it didn't survive the trip. We are informed of this for a very specific reason: Melina didn’t ask Natasha not to take the photo album out of malice, or just because she wanted to keep it for herself. She knew it wouldn’t survive the trip in Natasha’s hands. We also get a close shot of the image strip (and we get it again, during the credits), because it will be important, later on.

Bet y'all also forgot you were watching a superhero movie until this happened? That wasn't accidental, they wanted us to see them as normal people, this is the moment when that ends.

Natasha saved her family, even though she was a terrified kid.

I know that they did the huge titles thing to connect this film to Civil War but... Listen, Civil War needed the huge titles because that script and the way that movie was directed was a complete disaster. We needed to know where the characters were each time with huge ass title because there was NO OTHER WAY TO TELL. Between complete lack of a timeline, and the fact that you couldn't even tell what time of the day it was due to the horrible lighting, you definitely couldn't tell what the location was because it was irrelevant to the plot like, 90% of the time. Not to mention the title cards in Civil War were usually followed by dimly lit grey corridors so, yeah, give us a title so we know at least where they are, generally.

This film. Didn't Need That. For the most part anyway, there are 2 locations where the titles worked. First one was Ohio, the other I'll reveal later.

But here. Guys, they're Russian spies escaping from the US on a small plane... Where else would they go if not to Cuba?!?! This is the Black Widow movie paying for the sins of Civil War, in a small way in this instance.

Yelena tells Melina that pain only makes you stronger, Natasha cries, and they setup my heartbreak for later.

Natasha protecting Yelena, terrified, and staring men down the barrel of her gun anyway. Such a badass and heartbreaking callback.

Notice how this scene makes us look at how men view this. There's an allegory here as well, but I'll address what's actually happening in the film:

Dreykov notices Natasha's natural instinct to protect herself and her sister, and all he sees is something he can use. A tool for violence, instead of sex, in this case. But the implication is there. Not a person, or a terrified girl, just an object to be used by men.

So glad that piece of shit got blown up and never mentioned again. Any man looking for exposition on Dreykov to feel the "loss" when the villain is gone: Fuck you. Go get some therapy.

Moving on from that piece of shit, difference between Melina and Alexei: Melina apologised. Alexei lied, but he also tried to give them hope. We can see the devastation, because the soldiers never thought of them as girls like he did, and didn't blink before drugging them and taking them away.

Yet another setup, of Natasha and Yelena, drugged and powerless as they are taken away. Because it wasn't enough that they were kids, they took away all their choices, and rendered them unconscious.

What can I possibly say about this credits scene.

It's very real, probably the realest minutes in the entire MCU, and it's merciless. They don't try to sugar-coat what's happening, and there are no jokes to diffuse the drama. These are girls being trafficked from all over the world. I don't know about you but I felt the switch from true parallel to real life traffic victims like this shot that looks like footage from Interpol

to Red Room victims as being a clear shift, and I was actually grateful for it. Because here I could put my back against the fact that the red room wasn't real, otherwise I would have broken down before the credit sequence even ended.

It was a stroke of genius to create an introduction to this entire world like that. We rarely see credit sequences anymore and it's a shame, because when they're well done they tell stories in and of themselves, and this is one of the best I've seen.

Even the villain is set up here. He's pointing at girls and saying "that one, and her", like he's picking pigs for slaughter. How much more setup than that do you need, to want to murder that man dead? Not any more, that was enough.

Nobody speak to me I’m crying.

Subtle, but there. Trafficking (and traffickers) exists because it IS being tolerated by governments around the world.

Unnecessary title aside, who else says Natasha looks at herself in the mirror hear and repeats "pain only makes you stronger", as she's being hunted away from yet another family.

Then she's saying it again because it bears repeating and Natasha has been through A Lot these past few years. I love how unfiltered our first image of her is. After all she's been through, we basically see her stripped of all her tricks in a moment where she’s alone with herself and her thoughts(something we later learn she tries not to do much), and she's just a woman having a tiny breakdown in a semi-public bathroom. Again, human.

This is where I will leave you for this first part. Hey, I got through the intro, I count that as a win given just how long this breakdown has already been. If you’ve gotten this far, thank you for reading, come yell at me in my inbox whenever, see you for the next one xo

[occultfolk]

Lets talk: chakras!

in this post, we'll talk about chakras! what they are, why its important to keep them balanced and how they can aid/hinder our spiritual journey.

FAQs |

I. what even are chakras? Chakras points of energy throughout the body where the physical and higher selves meet.

II. what do they do? each chakra corresponds to massive nerve centers and major organs in the body. each of the 7 chakras also contains our spiritual states of being.

INTRODUCTION |

so what ARE the 7 chakras? glad you asked! let's break them down, one by one, because in order to begin to unblock or even open our chakras, we need to understand them throughly.

before we begin, let's do a little meditation lesson. lie down on a comfortable, flat surface. now, using your pendulum, hover over each of your chakra points — if the pendulum moves with the flow of the position of your body, the chakra is open. but if it does not move, it is blocked.

now, this comes with a grain of salt because while it can be a useful simple way to check the chakras, it cannot be the only way you check them.

SEVEN CHAKRAS |

1. Root Chakra (Muladhara)

The root chakra represents our foundation. On the human body, it sits at the base of the spine and gives us the feeling of being grounded. When the root chakra is open, we feel confident in our ability to withstand challenges and stand on our own two feet. When it's blocked, we feel threatened, as if we're standing on unstable ground.

Location: Base of spine, in tailbone area

What it controls: Survival issues such as financial independence, money, and food

Mantra: "I can't grow from an unsteady foundation."

Color: Red

Element: Earth

Stone: Hematite

2. Sacral Chakra (Swadhisthana)

The sacral chakra helps inform how we relate to our emotions and the emotions of others. It also governs creativity and sexual energy. Those with a blocked sacral chakra could feel a lack of control in their lives.

Location: Lower abdomen, about 2 inches below the navel

What it controls: Your sense of abundance, well-being, pleasure, and sexuality

Mantra: "I always honor others but not before myself."

Color: Orange

Element: Water

Stone: Tiger's Eye

3. Solar Plexus Chakra (Manipura)

The third chakra, the solar plexus chakra, speaks to your ability to be confident and in control of your life. Think back to the last time you had butterflies or felt a pit in the stomach: That's the Manipura chakra at work. If your solar plexus chakra is blocked, you might feel overwhelming amounts of shame and self-doubt. Those with open sacral chakras are free to express their true selves.

Location: Upper abdomen in the stomach area

What it controls: Self-worth, self-confidence, and self-esteem

Mantra: "Self-love starts when I accept all parts of myself."

Color: Yellow

Element: Fire

Stone: Amber

4. Heart Chakra (Anahata)

The heart chakra is the bridge between the lower chakras (associated with materiality) and the upper chakras (associated with spirituality). As the name suggests, this chakra can influence our ability to give and receive love—from others and ourselves. Someone with a blocked heart chakra will have difficulty fully opening up to the people in their life. If someone's heart is open, they can experience deep compassion and empathy.

Location: Center of chest, just above the heart

What it controls: Love, joy, and inner peace

Mantra: "When I love myself, loving others comes easily."

Color: Green

Element: Air

Stone: Rose Quartz

5. Throat Chakra (Vishuddha)

The throat chakra gives voice to the heart chakra and controls our ability to communicate our personal power. When it's functioning at full capacity, it allows us to express ourselves truly and clearly. Someone with a blocked throat chakra will feel like they have trouble finding the words to say how they truly feel.

Location: Throat

What it controls: Communication, self-expression, and truth

Mantra: "I speak my truth, always."

Color: Light Blue/Turquoise

Element: Sound/Music

Stone: Aquamarine

6. Third-Eye Chakra (Ajna)

As we move up the body, we're getting closer to communion with the divine. The third-eye chakra controls our ability to see the big picture and connect to intuition. Think of it as the eye of the soul: It registers information beyond the surface level. Visions and intuitive hits are not uncommon for someone with an open third-eye chakra.

Location: Forehead between the eyes (also called the Brow Chakra)

What it controls: Intuition, imagination, and wisdom

Mantra: "I am open to exploring what cannot be seen."

Color: Dark Blue/Purple

Element: Light

Stone: Amethyst

7. Crown Chakra (Sahasrara)

The crown chakra, the highest chakra, sits at the crown of the head and represents our ability to be fully connected spiritually. When you fully open your crown chakra—something very few people ever do!—you're able to access a higher consciousness.

Location: The very top of the head

What it controls: Inner and outer beauty, spiritual connection

Lesson: "I am a vessel for love and light."

Color: Violet/White

Element: Divine Consciousness

Stone: Clear quartz

BLOCKED/OPEN |

now that we have a better understanding of the chakras, what they do and more important where they are, we can talk about the reasons we might have blocks, and the things we can do to reopen those blocks and therefore progress in our spiritual journies.

i read a book about charkas a while ago, and then i feel it explains the reasons better than i could, here is an excerpt from that book.

"A blocked chakra means energy is stuck or hindered. You might think of it as a blocked artery. In order for energy and information to flow, the channels through which they flow must be open. You will have difficulty getting to work on time if the roads are blocked by traffic. In the same way, the chakras cannot work at optimal levels when the pathways have blockages. These blockages can be physical, emotional or psychological, spiritual, karmic, or energetic.

The blocks can be physical, in the literal sense, such as fatty deposits in the arteries, a tumor, a cyst, or excess waste. We can create blockages in the physical body through poor dietary choices, lack of exercise, overexertion, and lifestyle choices such as overwork, drug use, or lack of sleep.

Blocks in the chakras can also be emotional or psychological, such as stored emotions from the past or mental illness such as anxiety, depression, or addiction. We accumulate emotional toxins and residue from not properly processing and digesting emotions and experiences. These toxins result in blocking the energy flow of the chakras.

Blocks can be spiritual in nature. They can come from outside spiritual forces or from within. If we refuse to honor the spiritual side of who we are, we block the higher chakras. Being spiritually rigid and strict can also restrict the flow of energy. Remember, whether the forces are external or internal, without your conscious awareness they can create harm.

Blockages can also come from our karma. The word karma in Sanskrit literally means “action.” In life we perform actions that are good or nourishing, bad or harmful, or neutral. An example of a good action might be giving money to charity. A bad action might be intentionally lying or deceiving. A neutral action might be making the bed (which, if you dig deeper, can also be considered a good action, depending on the circumstances). In the East, certain religions and philosophies adhere to the principle that we accumulate karma throughout lifetimes, and we carry it forth into our current life. The definition of karma, in this sense, assumes a belief in reincarnation and asserts that karma is not simply the action performed but also the consequences of that action. Good karma carried forward can give us favor in our current lifetime. Bad karma is a debt we must repay in this or future lifetimes.

Finally, the blocks can be energetic. I explained a little about energetic blockages when I spoke about my astrological chart. We are a part of this earth, our solar system, and the universe. The influence of the earth’s energy and elements, as well as of the energy of the sun, moon, and planets in our solar system, is strong and undeniable. Ayurveda, the five-thousand-year-old medical system from India, recognizes these energetic forces and acknowledges them as a means of healing. You can learn more about Ayurveda by reading my book The Wheel of Healing with Ayurveda: An Easy Guide to a Healthy Lifestyle. Ayurveda works on the principles of the five elements — space, air, fire, water, and earth — which work together to create the three doshas, or mind-body types, of Vata (space and air), Pitta (fire and water), and Kapha (water and earth). These elements and mind-body types are relevant in recognizing energetic blocks within your body and the chakras. This awareness will give you more tools toward your healing of the chakras and provide a superspeed highway to creating energy flow." — CHAKRA HEALING FOR VIBRANT ENERGY by Michelle S. Fondin.

so how do we unblock them then? well, its more complicated than can be explained in a single tumblr post, but i will tell you how to get the energies moving whilst you work through the blocks and figure them out.

we need to understand, that we are all different, and our spiritual journies will all be different. the same goes for things like chakras.

1st Chakra (Root)

Element: The root chakra is associated with earth, so walking barefoot in the sand, grass, or dirt can be beneficial. Any time spent in nature is helpful for this chakra.

Nutrition: Eat healthy red foods like tomatoes, beets, berries, and apples.

Wear and Decorate: Use accents of red and wear red jewelry, clothing, or shoes.

Sound: lam

2nd Chakra (Sacral)

Element: The sacral chakra is associated with water, which means swimming or spending time by bodies of water like lakes and oceans is beneficial.

Nutrition: Eat orange foods like carrots, oranges, melons, or mangoes.

Wear and Decorate: Surround yourself with orange accessories or tones.

Sound: vam

3rd Chakra (Solar Plexus)

Element: The solar plexus chakra is associated with the element of fire, so enjoy sitting around a bonfire or soak up bright sunlight.

Nutrition: Eat yellow foods like bananas, ginger, turmeric, pineapple, and corn.

Wear and Decorate: Wearing yellow clothing, jewelry, and accessories would be beneficial.

Sound: ram

4th Chakra (Heart)

Elements: The heart chakra is associated with air, so breathing deeply will help to clear the energy at this level. Drive with the windows open, fly a kite, or take a boat ride.

Nutrition: Eat green foods including broccoli, avocado, and leafy greens like kale or spinach.

Wear and Decorate: Accent your life with all shades of green.

Sound: yum

5th Chakra (Throat)

Element: The throat chakra is associated with ether (similar to spirit), so sitting in an open space under a clear sky is a fabulous way to get this energy flowing appropriately.

Nutrition: Eat blue foods like blueberries, currants, dragon fruit, and kelp.

Wear and Decorate: Use all blue tones.

Sound: ham

6th Chakra (Third Eye)

Element: The third eye chakra is associated with light. To balance and open this chakra, sit in stillness in the sunlight or relax in a window as the sun pours in.

Nutrition: Eat indigo foods including purple kale, grapes, and blackberries.

Wear and Decorate: Wearing indigo clothing or jewelry and decorating with accents of this color will be useful.

Sound: sham

7th Chakra (Crown)

Element: The crown chakra is affiliated with all the elements, so connecting with your wholeness rather than a single element is the recommended practice. Spend time in meditation, chanting, or prayer.

Nutrition: At this level, the nutrition is no longer for the physical body. This chakra is not nourished with food, but with spiritual practices. Practice self-reflection and curiosity.

Wear and Decorate: Wearing violet clothing or jewelry and decorating with accents of this color will be useful.

Sound: om

CONCLUSION |

hopefully you all understand chakras a bit better now! but, if any questions are to come up that you can't seem to find an answer to, my ask box is always open! (like my chakras).

[audreydoeskaren]

Abridged history of early 20th century Chinese womenswear (part 3.1: 1920s-silhouette)

Source:  lucianolapadula.wordpress.com

*Disclaimer: I mostly talk out of my bum so don’t ask me for academic sources, I would love to know where they are but I haven’t found any reliable ones. I only share my own observations so please read me for filth if I’m wrong.

*There are almost no public domain images I could use because this topic is too obscure so I have to use random images that work and link the sources.

Intro/Context

In the 1920s the dominant form of womenswear was still technically the aoqun, however one piece dresses, sometimes with a fake vest, became popularized later in the decade and that could be considered a kind of proto-cheongsam. Many scholars and people on the Internet have different theories as to which particular garment was the true predecessor to the cheongsam but I think that’s a pointless quest, everything went in 1920s fashion and many styles bearing the same silhouette coexisted and they were all valid, it’s just that the one piece dress emerged victorious in the 1930s as the dominant form of womenswear. Looking at 1920s fashion with the sole purpose of finding the origins of cheongsam doesn’t do the decade justice.

In the 1920s Western influence also became more visible and many Art Deco designs were integrated into Chinese fashion, making it an all round exciting and creative decade for Chinese fashion.

Silhouette

In the early 1920s, the hem of the robe was similar to the mid-1910s ao from my previous post, hitting about the top of the hips. The sleeves became somewhat wider, but not reaching the widest point until the mid 20s. The skirt became shorter, usually mid calf, and was not as full as the pleated skirt of the previous decade. I was not able to find a lot of information about early 20s fashion but from the few contemporary drawings I did find (such as the one below) the outer robe of the previous decade seem to have become sleeveless in some occasions, resembling more of a vest, exposing the sleeves of the undershirt. Put a pin in this as the vest style will become quite prominent later in the decade.

Source: https://historypipe.blogspot.com/ (a cigarette ad from 1920)

Aoku (robe with pants) was still considered a fashionable way of dressing in the early 20s, then it started to fade out of popularity. The pants of the early 1920s were shorter and less form fitting than those in the 1910s, usually ending below the knee, allowing stockings to show, which could be very colorful and elaborate.

Source: lai yiching0926 on Pinterest https://www.pinterest.de/pin/675540012850646515/ (a tea ad from 1920)

Around the mid 1920s the skirt began to shorten, eventually reaching knee length, a development similar to that in Western fashion at the time. Pleating became fashionable again; instead of the mamian style pleating with flat sections in the front and back popular in previous decades, mid to late 20s skirts were completely pleated along the waistline, giving them an all round even fullness. Mid to late 1920s skirts commonly had wide hems, which could be decorated with embroidery, trimmings, scallop edges or other Western finishes. The sleeves were half length or shorter and became wider at the bottom, a style commonly known as 倒大袖.

Source: lai yiching0926 on Pinterest https://www.pinterest.de/pin/675540012850651575/ (a calendar showing the years 1926-1927) (the lady to the left is wearing aoku and the other aoqun. Notice the vest look)

Source: http://robertbrowngallery.com/artists_exhibited/artist_pages/image_page.php?image=Chinese_Advertising_Posters- (a raisin ad from 1925-26)

Around the same time, the proto-cheongsam one piece dress look was also being popularized. In the mid 1920s this style was usually knee length, with short sleeves and a high collar; they could also have the fake two piece effect, giving the appearance of a separate vest/tunic being worn. These dresses could have flared hems or short slits down both sides to allow freedom of movement. Interestingly, these dresses were tighter and more body-hugging than Western women’s dresses at the time, which were baggy and rectangular.

Source: http://www.thepankou.com/history-of-the-qipao-recluse-to-national-dress-1910s-1920s/?epik=dj0yJnU9UU82azlTdzgzSXBiYXV6dzJmUHdQcUFBaXQtci1KQVImcD0wJm49MmZTY3pna3FzQXBVOFJ3bGJSY1laZyZ0PUFBQUFBR0FVVU8w (I’m actually not sure if this is late 20s or early 30s, judging by the baggy look it’s probably 20s but the early 30s one piece dress had a similar, albeit tighter, silhouette)

Another thing about 1920s Chinese fashion is that I rarely see long-sleeved women’s garments, even in images supposedly depicting fall/wintertime. The more common way to fight off cold weather throughout the 1920s and 30s was to wear Western coats, especially Paul Poiret style fur wrap coats. I recall a lady in a contemporary film saying that coat design of this period was dominated by Parisian trends.

Source: https://www.liveauctioneers.com/item/19256348_hang-zhiying-1899-1947 (late 20s/early 30s) (the lady on the right is finally wearing long sleeves, not so easy to come across haha)

Source: art.com (their website shut down I can’t find the url) (1920s Western fur coats)

Late 20s Chinese womenswear was quite easy to identify. The skirts in aoqun outfits became longer, usually ankle length, with very wide hems. They had a tube like silhouette but were quite full, so I deduce that they were constructed from rectangular panels that were then cartridge pleated or gathered around the waistband. The waistline of the bodice (I don’t think these could be considered separate robes anymore...) rose quite significantly, ending at the natural waist. This was a divergence from the Western silhouette, which remained rectangular until late 1929. 

Source: https://www.flickr.com/photos/contumacy-singh/2803160798/in/photostream/?epik=dj0yJnU9cWhFcko0YUU5WXd1OERGQWd2VW9aQ1RXcFZ2S0VUTEEmcD0wJm49bWtmNTUzX0oxY2N3Zl94TWgycU5sZyZ0PUFBQUFBR0FVSW5R (a perfume ad calendar showing the years 1927-1928)

Source:  rs.bift.edu.cn (a cosmetics ad from 1928) (this company, Kwong Sang Hong, was founded in the 1890s and was really iconic and produced many advertisements which are great primary sources)

By the end of the 1920s there were four main styles of womenswear: the two piece aoqun with robe and skirt, the three piece set with robe, vest and skirt and the proto-cheongsam one piece dress. These styles coexisted; it was the silhouette (length of skirt, sleeve shape etc.) that changed throughout the decade and these changes applied to all styles. Interestingly, I don’t think I have seen photos of 1920s Chinese women wearing actual Western fashion, which is weird considering the level of westernization in the 20s and how easy to make and accessible 20s Western clothing was, in addition to the fact that many women in neighboring Japan had already adopted Western clothing.

Source: https://simplycirculate.wordpress.com/2012/04/05/beautiful-20s/?epik=dj0yJnU9WFVWLWtXQU9WM3NhOWVPZTJjZXlTMjc5SHVqeVNTUHQmcD0wJm49U1R4b2swZmxzQU9IUWpkX1o5TWVaUSZ0PUFBQUFBR0FWa2Zz (late 20s Western summer fashion) (Isn’t it interesting that when people think of 20s fashion they usually think of late 20s fashion? Early 20s with the long dresses and big hats deserve more appreciation, even though I don’t really like it personally)

Chinese women began wearing Western fashions in very small numbers beginning in the 1900s, but I guess because of the elaborate nature of Edwardian clothing and the lack of corsetry traditions in China it was expensive and not really popular. I have only seen uber-rich Chinese women in portraits wearing Western fashions. If a lady wanted to show Western influences in her fashion sense it was usually by using Western decorations or fabrics to make her Chinese clothes, or by wearing Western accessories.

Source: https://driwancybermuseum.wordpress.com/2012/07/29/semarang-history-collections/amp/?epik=dj0yJnU9TWRsc3pQU05nQTBVa19xVjZzSFBpSzlHclpTUHZrSUQmcD0wJm49WkdreF9VZnZqUEY3RWVOSVBaOExsdyZ0PUFBQUFBR0FVSnlz (Madame Wellington Koo in a 1910s ballgown)

I think it’s of some importance to discuss the methods for pattern drafting and construction. Chinese clothing began to become more form fitting in the late 20s, however it should be noted that this form-fitting shape was not achieved by Western dressmaking methods i.e. shaped pattern pieces and darts/tucks, but rather using the historical Chinese method of pattern drafting 平裁; Western dressmaking techniques would not be commonly used on Chinese garments until the 1950s. With this method, the front and back pieces of a robe/bodice would be two identical T shapes with overlapping parts at the front right closure. Historically (I mean in the Ming Dynasty) the overlapping bits at the front would be cut separately and then attached to the front pieces, resulting in a seam down the center front 中缝 that many people consider to be a staple of hanfu, although I’m not sure if this method was used before or after the Ming Dynasty. Similarly, I’m also not sure if this was the way 1920s/30s bodices were constructed, they may as well have two separate whole front pieces joined to the back piece at the shoulder and underarm/side seams. Until I get my hands on a period original this shall remain a mystery unless someone enlightens me (please). Anyway, bodices constructed in this method are not three dimensional and could be laid flat on a surface; this method was also used in other East Asian countries, maybe you have seen that when kimonos are laid or hung flat they have a T shape as well.

Example: https://www.metmuseum.org/art/collection/search/88086 (mid 20s ao, can’t show the image here unfortunately)

This is getting very long so I will split the 1920s into multiple sections, information on design details, hair and accessories will be in subsequent posts.

[therabine]

In case you were wondering why wordbuilding for Ravka feels so random

After going down the rabbit hole in my search for answers I've stumbled across this conversation on goodreads dated back to the November of 2013, where Leigh Bardugo replied to some reasonable criticism about her 'cultural inspiration"- https://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/1533856-has-bardugo-talked-about-the-russian-inconsistencies This conversation is quite long and miss Leigh gave about three replies to various questions from people that were deeply bothered by the very surface level research she did on the Russian cilture. Here are the major highlights, plus the other things I've found while goodling: 1) As far as I've understood - neither she nor her publishers expected the first book to blow up like this. So even though there was obvoiusy a lack of proper research and some mistakes variying from minor to insulting, now that she's an esteemed author Leigh claims all of it to be deliberate choices adding that "deliberate choices aren't necessarily good ones". She also tries to lift the responsibility off her shoulders, mentioning that her work "was reviewed not just by my editor, but by copy editors, proofreaders, multiple foreign editors, and foreign copy editors". Not a single word about actual Russian-speaking person/expert reviweing the text or helping her out with creating the Ravkan language though. The only person she's ever credited as the one who helped her out with creating Ravkan is Erdene Ukhaasai from Mongolia that she's been friends on Facebook at the time (source on this one - https://ageofsteam.wordpress.com/2012/04/25/genre-friction-what-is-tsarpunk-by-leigh-bardugo/ ). The Facebook page under this name currently doesn't exist and the only results that Google shows on this person are the mentions that Leigh Bardugo gave in her interview, so unfortunately I couldn't reach out for clarification on this topic. Still, it's highly unlikey that someone with zero publications under their name would be a proffesional linguist and therefore qualified for such a task. 2) Within your secondary world, unless you are writing satire, things should make internal sense. That world could not arize independently of its context. The problem with the Bardugo's Ravka is that it's based on Russian Empire alone, yet she claims that "it's only Russian inspired" without acknowledging that most people that are not familiar with the culture will take it in as authentic. She takes the words and objects out of the context, misgenders names and last names and creates new 'russian-sounding" words without understanding how the grammar works. Which is a shame, given how flexible Russian language is - the possibility for the word-building is endless and with the right guidance she truly could make some unique and meaningful terms specifically for the Ravka. Also on the alcoholic kvas issue - Leigh proudly claims this as a solution to be a vodka "substitute", because vodka would be too on the nose and too common (more on the matter here -https://www.leighbardugo.com/grishaverse/the-archives/tongue-twister/). What didn't cross her mind is that instead of turning a non-alcoholic drink into strong booze for "wordbuilding" it would be much better to use less known drinks whic do contain alcohol - braga, samogon, nalivka - just to name a few.

3) To elaborate on some of the specific issues with names and last names: Leigh doesn't seem to understand how gendered surnames work in Russian. That's why we get stuff like Alina Starkov (when it's supposed to be Starkova, because she's a woman) and Alexander Morozova (Morozov would be a correct form) etc. This system is never consistent - Mal Oretsev gets to have a male surname, but so does Genya Safin and Zoya Nazyalensky has a weird non-gendered kind of in between last name (very much in fashion of Natasha Romanoff, who would be called Natalia Romanova in Russian). Also must mention Ana Kuya - poor woman's name literally sounds like "why the f*ck" in Russian, that's about just as bad as naming your Asian character Whata Phuck. Again - none of this nonsense would happen if someone bothered to find a Russian-speaking person to read the text. Other Russian words she tries to throw in seem to be the result of a bad Google Translate, rather than a conscious choice: for example the word otkazats'ya that she uses to describe non-grishas is actually a verb that translates as "to refuse". The noun with the meaning of "the refused one" would be otkaznik or otkazniki for a plural form. Same with sobachka ("small dog") - the context from the book suggests this nickname to be an insulting one, so the word we're really looking for would be shchenok ("puppy") or shavka ("mongrel", "cur"). The list of those examples, honestly, goes on and on.

4) Leigh does mention that she "can acknowledge that the choices I made in building the language and culture of Ravka came from a place of insularity and a type of privilege". However she's more keen to talk about how she has "certainly encountered critics, but I've also had Russian fans"...Which to me sounds about just as bad as stating "I do have *insert a minority racial group* friends and they say that me doing *insert a dubious act* is fine". The problem is that Russian culture has been demonized and overlooked for so long that most people (myself included) tend to praise content creators for including even the most sterytypical "insprations". Just because some people are willing to excuse her voluntary ignorance, doesn't mean that it's okay.

5) No books on Russian culture that she's mentioned as part of the resarch were written by Russian authors. And while reading the SaB it becomes crystal clear that that the major 'cultural inspiration' Leigh got was not from those books, but from the monstrosity that is her tsapunk pinterest board - https://www.pinterest.ru/lbardugo/tsarpunk-inspiration/ . About 80% of the stuff there doesn't even relate to Russian culture and the rest is a mash of modern knockoffs.

To summorize it: Leigh very much knew about the concerns surrounding her "Russian-inspired" Ravka which were respectfully brought to her consideration by her Russian speaking fans back in 2012-2013. She said "I've taken it to heart and it's something that I've tried to be conscious of as I move forward in the series and my other work", apologized and then she did nothing to do better. She marketed Shadow and Bone as "Tsarpunk", fetishisizing Russian culture and using it as a unique setting to uplift a generic "light vs. dark" fantasy plot supported by the bland narrative of the Chosen One. There was an effort and will to make a change for the better, not a single letter has been changed for us. When I think about, I can't really remember anything that would ring as a thoughtful and clever element adapted into the story from Russian culture. If everything is always altered or twisted, if there is nothing true or authentic then should you really call it Russian-inspired? Should you really make profit off it and call this aesthetic tsarpunk?

Leigh Bardugo could have fixed the most jarring problems with the material while doing the adaptation from book to screen, but she chose not to. There was no effort made to include more people of slavic descent as a major part of production team or as background actors. Almost nothing of the production design or clothing was inspired by Russian culture. To elaborate: I'm not even mad. I'm just deeply sad and hurt by the indifference.

Some might argue that this book series was not written for Russians, that it was written for the western audience. But don't they deserve respectfully researched and authentic stories too?