#i mean thats kind of how ask blogs work. unless i had no asks but yours then id answer it the next day

[anemonelovesfiction]

Kinktober 4- Choking/ Spanking

Avatar! Jake Sully x Human! Fem Reader

Warnings ⚠️: Smut bro. MDNI or I’ll block you.

So there is a special someone I wanted to dedicate this for getting her blog back! I hope you can read and enjoy on your own time My Love 🌙 ❤️ @pandoraslxna

Sul’Eyanos is not something that is in Na’Vi vocabulary but something I had actually come up with… it means the binding of three souls, aka three soulmates. I did it when I was writing a shifting script for myself to be in a relationship with both Jake and Neytiri because I couldn’t break them up 🫣

Kinktober 2023 Masterlist

Word count: 6k words (sorry I got carried away but I included both choking AND spankies 🤭)

One of the strangest things about being on Pandora, was the fact that I had been born amongst them as a total surprise, sure my parents knew they were expecting, but I was an accident. We lived in an already confined space, but I’d always been a good listener, making sure I appeased my parents and wasn’t much of a nuisance, taking interest in what they called ‘work’ and going along with it. I found myself sticking beside Max’s side, which is how I knew that there was a new batch of scientists arriving, I was thirteen around the time that Jake and Norm had arrived on the planet.

I’d felt drawn to the ex-marine, for some reason, stunning half the staff when I’d bothered making an effort into saying hello to him, his smile spreading on his lips as I seemed to talk to him normally, not bending down or in his face. I was often shy in nature and never bothered speaking unless spoken to and that had been out of character for me.

I had been very close with my mother, but she had developed cancer in her brain, dying about three weeks prior to the next batch’s arrival, so I’d mostly been with my dad -who already buried himself in his work to forget about mom- and Max, who’d claimed he’d seen me reading a lot of medical books, taking me under his wing and teaching me everything he knew. Although Max was a scientist, he doubled as a Doctor for the humans, and somewhat of a medic for the Avatar’s as well. Since he’d taken me under his wing I’d been joined at the hip, essentially becoming a Doctor alongside him without the official title.

There had been very few things I had done on purpose within those three months since Jake’s arrival. One of them having been conspiring with Max and Trudy on how to sneak the trio out of the jail cell they were being held in, Max telling me he had to go with them and entrusted the care of the other humans and Avatars to me- a thirteen year old with no medical degree, taking care of adults- one of them having just given birth about three days ago.

Another thing I’d done on purpose was making sure that the other scientists hadn’t caught on that I had been without Max and attempted to make it seem like everything had been alright, until Paz had bumped into me and asked where Max was since she claimed she needed to be given a green pass to start working again, it had been about ten minutes since we had broken the others from their cell and my heart was beating erratically at the woman before me. She cut her losses with me and struggled to keep a steady gait while attempting to stomp away, knowing I had to place a couple of stitches on her tears after her son’s delivery.

Max appears not even a second later telling me Jake needed us to stay on the inside and be his lookouts in case any other thing happened. Another thing I had blindly agreed to and purposely done, I was a kid, I’d do anything for the people I’d grown to call my friends, even though I knew thats not how the real world worked.

But one of the things I hadn’t done on purpose was the crush that developed from having found it easy to talk to the ex-marine, I felt like an idiot for feeling as if I had been getting any kind of special treatment from him. Even when he’d always take the time to show me the pretty flowers that grew in the forest whenever he’d managed to sneak me out alongside Grace. Pointing out the many different kinds that grew in clusters while Grace and Norm took samples a couple miles away from hells gate and still very far from the Omatikaya. During the small period between him getting accepted as one of the people and before the war.

I did find him attractive in either form, but I should have known better than to let that shit stay in my head, knowing that there was no way he would feel the same for a thirteen year old. And I was proven right when I’d overheard him talking to Norm and Max at one point and stating that Neytiri was pregnant. I’d obviously had to congratulate him alongside the other men and I did feel happy to know he had finally seemed to have found his purpose, but I had cried so much that night. Taking it upon myself to follow in my fathers footsteps and drowning myself in my work and slowly detaching any kind of relationship I had developed with him, barely speaking to Norm unless it involved work, and not needing Max to hover over my shoulder anymore.

But that was fifteen years ago, I’m twenty-eight now, the same age Jake was when he’d given up his human life and permanently passed through the eye of Eywa, truly becoming a Na’vi and having woke up in his blue body, burying the body he’d once inhabited. I could feel a pull toward him any time I’d see him come in through hells gate but always pulled myself away from any room he had entered or pretended to act busy, I didn’t need to put myself through the same depressed puppy love I had when I was younger.

“Hey there stranger.”

My head snaps up at the sudden familiar baritone voice I’d taken to avoid any time I could, removing the one earbud that had been in my ear as I took my late night leisurely walk to give myself a break before diving my head back into my books, back already stiff as I turn around slowly, praying it was just my imagination. I just stupidly stared up at him.

“After all this time and you’re still quiet, huh?” He lowers his body as he squats on his toes and meets my height, I take a step back to give him his personal space so he doesn’t feel like I was invading it and he eyes me warily.

“Do I smell?” He jokes with a glimmer in his eyes and a half smile, showing his pointed canines, thats right, I have to act like I’m not losing my shit or going to embarrass myself.

“Sorry, just a bit tired. Was there something I could do for you?” I asked and watch him lift a brow and eye me warily.

“C’mon, kid, you treat me like you don’t know me.” Another playful smile but I internally grimace at the nickname, Kid, thats all he’d ever see me as and I thin my lips without meaning to and nod my head a big and turn to place the earbud on the stack of books I’d come back with.

“Life has changed the both of us, I knew you a long time ago and you have changed, you may as well be a stranger to me.” I shrug lightly but force a smile to imply that I had been joking. “What brings you in, shouldn’t you be off doing Olo’eyktan duties?” I attempt to redeem myself by adding the bit of sass I used to have for him, but I could tell by the flash in his eyes he knew I was putting on an act.

“I wanna show you somethin’.” He tilts his head back as if also asking me to go with him somewhere and I knew I had to decline. I was practically in love with a man I met as a child even though I knew he had been married and he had children, I knew nothing would happen if I decided to oblige and head out with him, but I knew I had to stay here for my own sanity.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t.” I stated firmly and felt some pride blossoming through me.

“You have something more interesting going on in here?” He asks simply, taking a glance around the lab as if trying to understand what I had found worthy of my attention at that moment, eyes coming back to meet mine.

“Well it’s not interesting but-“ This had been my first mistake.

“Then lets go.” He urges but remains on his toes and watching me intently.

“It’s my job-“ Second mistake.

“ The humans that stayed don’t work for the RDA and you aren’t your father.” He stated and my face falls at that comment.

When the RDA had arrived with General Frances Ardmore, they had essentially told all of the staff that they could have been arrested for treason, since my father had gone through everything on Earth, they had a file on him as well as every human Scientist and Doctor that remained on this planet. Had they voluntarily come back and assisted the RDA they would be dropped of said charges and receive the full time pay and compensation for ‘doing the right thing’. I’d grown upset at this statement but was reminded by Max and Norm that I had been born on Pandora and no record had ever been kept on me on Earth, they didn’t know of my existence and I was free to choose whatever it was I wanted, so I chose to stay. Unbeknownst to me, my father decided to leave as if everything he’d ever worked for had meant nothing, like abandoning me was the better option, another one of the reasons I buried myself in my work so I wouldn’t be reminded of how easy it was for him to betray the humans and myself.

“It’s still my job to find remedies to cure anyone who gets sick.” My third mistake was to attempt to keep this conversation going and I watch him roll his eyes.

“Who gets sick on Pandora anymore, if anything you could always learn from Mo’at, lets go.” He’d asked nicely before but this sounded more demanding. I hesitantly look back at the stack of books I had brought to read. To be fair, I’d read these books several times and I wasn’t looking forward to reading them again or adding notes onto my notes. My eyes glide over to his before I sigh.

“Fine, where are we going?” I asked him and see his smile grow before standing tall again, extending his comically large hand over toward me, and I take it as he turns and starts walking.

“You won’t need a mask.” He continues walking just a bit further before reaching a closed door in which you needed badge access to get through, but I was never really bothered walking anywhere I didn’t need to be and was pretty sure my badge wouldn’t slide the doors open, but he turns to take it and scans it in, and I watch the doors part, a circular room in front of us encased in glass.

My eyes widen slightly to take in the room, there are floor-to-ceiling windows where the curvature was, noticing most of the mountain we were encased in covering about five foot off the floor, the rest of it uncovered and showing the night sky above, the stars shining beautifully. I had no idea this place existed beyond the doors and hearing the whirr of the mechanics of the door shutting again.

“What is this place?” I asked and felt myself stepping closer to the glass, placing my hands on the window in awe, staring up at the sky and feeling like a little nerd all over again.

“It connected to the old observatory when this building was still a part of Hell’s Gate. Crazy how it fit perfectly in here.” I could see his body come into view from my peripheral and he’s gazing up at the stars, like he’s trying to find one, before smiling and pointing it out, although its hard to tell which one he’s looking at.

“Do you see that pale yellow star off in the distance, it has three blue ones around it.” He specifies and I let my eyes wander and actually manage to see the star he’d been talking about, all three stars shared a different hue of the color but the pale yellow shone brightly against it.

“Yeah?” I ask.

“Thats where I come from.” He stated proudly, almost nostalgically.

“Do you miss it?” I asked while allowing my eyes to stare at the stars in the sky, many of them were white, very few were blue, and only one was that pale yellow color. A small insignificant dot in the sky suddenly bringing on more meaning to my life.

“No, I found my place here.”

“I’m sure you feel accepted here more than you did on Earth.”

“Sure I did, it’s not every day you’re welcomed by the thirteen year old who is said to be shy by every crew member, only to realize she had a crush on the cripple.” He lightly pushes my shoulder, the beautiful expanse of space now being long forgotten as my widened eyes turn to meet his.

“You knew?” I had been too focused on avoiding him after a while and felt that it had been enough distance to make it seem like I’d outgrown him, as if he were a phase in my life I was no longer interested in. Far too invested in his answer to allow myself to blush or feel any shame from it, what he didn’t need to know is that I still felt this way, even now in his blue body.

“It wasn’t hard to decipher.” He shrugs while speaking and I could feel the embarrassment settle as I hunch my shoulders at the ick I could feel crawling up my body.

“I’m sorry.” I stated rather sourly, my eyes finding a deep interest in the floor below me, this was starting to get awkward and I needed to leave, I should have known the night was going to be spoiled by my own feelings.

“I should probably go,” I pointed back over my shoulder and turned pretty quick not bothering to meet his eyes. I was hoping he wasn’t as observant as he had been before and wouldn’t notice that the feeling persisted on my end, the last thing I needed was to be teased about how I’d felt about a mated man, but if he were to see through it, would he see my attempts at staying away from him and the respect I had for Neytiri and his children? Would he see that I willingly avoid him at all costs?

“So she was right.” His voice rings out and snaps me out of my thoughts, his big hand had wrapped around my bicep to stop me from walking further, and my head whipped around to stare at him.

_________

Just when I think I know everything about the Na’Vi and have found my understanding in their culture, there always seems to be something added on to it and more customs I had been unaware of. One of them was the binding of three souls, something Neytiri told me is quite rare, she had been open at explaining that she only taught me the basics while teaching me her ways, but since I had been Olo’eyktan now, I must know of everything in order to properly fulfill my duties.

She explained the binding of the three souls, better known as Sul’Eyanos, is a pull from someone toward an already mated pair, something that is initiated by Eywa when she feels the three are compatible and better off together. She had stated she often found herself checking in on Y/n to see where the younger woman had been and if she didn’t see her anywhere she’d feel sadness. Neytiri could tell that the human was attracted to me from the moment she had met her, mentioned that Y/n had purposely avoided me, but harbored those feelings deep inside.

“Who was right?” Her voice snaps me out of my thoughts and I could tell she’d been embarrassed by the situation, tears weren’t exactly threatening to escape but her eyes had become glossy, and it felt like the puzzle piece had finally snapped into the right place. Without another word I’m quick to pull at her arm to turn her back to face me, release my hold on her, and place my hand on her lower back as I squat on my toes, bringing her even closer and connecting our lips.

I remember when I first kissed Neytiri, I could feel a warmth rapidly spreading through my body, a primal need to face plant her on the forest floor and fuck her had guided me to doing just that, not that she had minded, that same urge surging through my body at this moment. I could feel her tiny hands push against my chest and I’d backed away from her even though I hadn’t wanted to.

“Wait, you’re mated, what are you doing, what would Neytiri think?” I could see the panic settling on her face, her gaze downcast and I knew she’d attempt to slide out of my grasp at any moment.

“Hey, hey, look at me-“ I use my hand as gently as I can to caress her cheek, making her refocus on me, feeling pride at managing to get her to look back up, smiling gently.

“This was her idea.” I admit and watch her shock resurface. “We were given the opportunity to have a third mate, Eywa has chosen you for us, but we don’t want to force it on you.”

The confusion starts changing into hurt as her eyes fill up with tears, some already falling onto her cheeks, I could only watch as she starts to frantically pull herself away from my hold, her small cries reaching my ears and my own chest starting to feel heavy. I did not intend for her to cry and had no idea how to calm her at the moment, but I knew the second she’d get out of my grasp it would be game-over, she’d work overtime in avoiding us and refuse to be near us.

“Babygirl, stop it.” I huffed but she listens, slumping over and letting her tears fall like a river, I sigh and work on swiping them with my thumb. “I know you think this might be a prank or some stupid shit like that, but it’s not.”

“I’ve never wanted anything more in my life, but this is-“

I didn’t bother waiting for her to finish her words and placed my lips over hers once more, one hand on her cheek and the other on the back of her head to hold her steady, but also to prevent her from pulling away this time. Her smaller hands had pressed against my chest and applied pressure to steady herself, never pushing harder to get me off of her, but the primal urge surges through me again and the need to claim her was making my head feel stuffy.

I swipe my tongue over her bottom lip while sliding the hand that had been on her head down toward the back of her neck to cradle it, the hand on her cheek sliding down toward the small of her back to pull her closer.

“Mmph-“ I’m assuming she tried to say something but wasn’t protesting much when I shoved my tongue in her mouth. I could taste the fruit she’d been eating earlier and remember Max saying she had been obsessed with yovo when she was younger, I could tell from the taste she still had been, swiping my tongue over hers and feeling it go limp, allowing me to do whatever I pleased.

I could feel myself pulling her body closer against mine, glad I’d managed to build up my endurance for this pose while tending to my own children, thankful I had the use of my legs again. My ears flicker at the sound she’d made and feel a craving to want to hear it again, tongue and lips disconnecting from hers and quickly kissing along her neck, ensuring my fangs were dragging alongside her skin and hearing her breath come out in short pants.

“Jake~” She whines, the hands that had been on my chest showing my just how much she was enjoying it as her nails dug into my skin.

“I can smell you babygirl, oh fuck, can’t keep myself off you.” I grunt out as my hands were quick to tug on her shirt, silently asking for permission to take it off, catching her open her eyes and nodding frantically, sliding it off and attaching my mouth back on her neck, kissing down her chest.

“Are you sure we should-“

“Yes.” I groan as I felt the weight of her chest in the palms of my hands, looking back up at her angelic face. “We go as far as you want, hmm.” I hummed to catch her attention and she meets my eyes with a nod.

“I want to, but-“

“Then we will.” I stated while simultaneously running my thumbs across her nipples and hearing her gasp lightly, her face turning downward to look at my hands encasing her chest, planting myself on my knee’s and covering her body with mine and placing one of her breast in my mouth, flicking the nipple with my mouth and teasing the other one with my hand. Feeling her tiny hands grab onto my scalp to keep my face cradled in her arms and chest.

“Jake~” She moans lightly as I switch between her breasts, ensuring I plant a kiss between them before placing the other in my mouth, the other one being rolled between my pointer finger and thumb, gently pushing her down on the cold metal floor. A small hiss leaving her lips as her back comes into contact with it.

I’d knelt myself down on the floor, sliding myself between her legs, scooting close enough to have the backs of her thighs meet my shoulders as I got myself settled in, hearing a slight squeak as my hands grab her ass to slightly lift her, resisting my urge to take her at this moment and groaning at her scent.

“You done any of this before?” I asked and see her bite her lip, nervously looking away and nodding her head, feeling relief flood through me, knowing I wouldn’t hurt her and she’d be used to some stretch.

“Good.” I bring my mouth to kiss her exposed thigh, the skirt she’d been wearing wasn’t covering much from this angle, but that was a reward, I had to work my way toward it. My arms had wrapped themselves around them, the tips of my fingers gently squeezing the inner thigh and pulling them apart as I kissed, licked, and nipped at them. Hearing her breath hitch as I got closer, she’d been subtly moving her hips over, hearing a groan of frustration once I switched over to the other thigh and repeating the process.

“For the love of Eywa-“ She huffs and brings her head up and this had been the first time I’d ever seen the fire blazing in her eyes, nipping the skin just right while staring at her, her head falling back down.

“You wanna finish that thought?” I ask as my head feels dizzy from being this close to her clothed cunt and wanting to devour her.

“No-“ She mutters weakly, her head shaking, and eyes closed tightly. I take it upon myself to nuzzle my nose on her clothed cunt, skirt having been thrown on her belly carelessly, eyes closing and a loud groan emitting from my throat as I take the first sniff straight from the source, my cock hardening fully.

“Fuck.” I stated loudly, taking in another sniff, my head feeling dizzy as the logical part of my consciousness was getting muted, my primal urges surfacing as my finger hooks toward the side of her underwear, and swiping it to the side, her scent and leaking cunt making me groan, not bothering to check in with her before my face is shoved into her sweet petals, tongue pulling her lips apart and finally tasting her.

“Fuck-“ Her breathy gasp follows along the slightest thrust of her hips, I squeeze my hold on her thighs slightly tongue starting to work in overdrive for two reasons, to get to taste her deliciousness and to be able to hear her moan.

“Oh fuck!” She gasps while panting, hands finding comfort in my hair and holding on for dear life, the slightest of tugging toward where she wanted me had my logic slipping further, not caring if her thighs were attempting to close around my head and wanting to drown myself in her scent.

“Stop fuckin’ moving, babygirl.” I protested, feeling the cool breeze hitting my face wherever her juices decided to stick, knowing it had ran past my lips, her eyes shooting open and ready to say something. But I slid my finger into her cunt and all that comes out is a choked moan, head falling back to the floor.

“Please, please use another.” She begs silently, eyes slightly open, head lolled to the side just to look at me, my pride swelling since she had refused to lift her head.

“Only because you asked so nicely,” I oblige and place another finger in her warmth hearing her draw in another gasp and broken moan as I did so.

“Talk to me.” I stop all thrusting and keep my fingers buried inside her, my cock straining against my loincloth, but refusing to continue until she tells me if she’d fine or if I’m hurting her.

“Feels like a dick- just your fingers, please move, move now.” She rambles in hushed whispers that I barely catch as the sound of the blood traveling impossibly fast through my body- mostly down South- is roaring loudly in my ears. I slowly work on drawing my fingers back out of her cunt and slide them back in, hearing her first loud moan. Soaking up the sound with my ears turned toward her, wanting to not waste any of this experience.

“You won’t be left unsatisfied again, babygirl, I can promise you that.” I grunt and find myself captivated to pull my wet fingers out of her cunt, her whines rippling through my brain, telling me to get back to work, but I just had to take her clothes off. Tapping her hips with one of my wet fingers and feeling her understand my command right as I settle on my knees, the heels of her feet settling on the floor once more to lift her hips, finally taking off her skirt and underwear in one swoop, her bottom falling back onto the floor beneath her, legs spreading greedily to welcome me back into my spot.

“Hands and knees,” I stated as I untied my loincloth, dick springing upward and she freezes, looking at it as if she’d never seen one before.

“Thats huge.” Her eyes appear widened, mouth slightly open as she stares at it.

“Thought you said you’ve done this before.” I smirk with my teasing tone, some clarity returning back to me.

“With another human- is that going to fit?” I can hear the worry in her voice, and take the time to stroke her cheek again, placing a gentle kiss on her lips, connecting our foreheads.

“I’ll make it fit, babygirl, get in position.”

She nods before placing her knee’s on the floor with her hands bent at an angle, pushing her ass in the air as if presenting herself to me and I groan at the sight, taking the fingers I’d previously shoved in her cunt and do it again, exploring her from the new angle and hearing her moans return louder this time.

“Fuck, you look delicious.” I mutter through my lips as I focus on thrusting my fingers into her sopping cunt and not wanting to fight against my own urges, and finally giving into them.

_________

A stinging sensation spread like wildfire on my bottom, but his fingers continuing their ministrations were driving me wild, a loud moan escaped my lips when another slap is reverberating in the empty room, my cunt instinctively squeezing on his thick fingers. With only two of his fingers in I felt like I was getting fucked, humans must be pretty small in comparison to Na’Vi.

A third slap was done to distract me from the third finger being inserted, the stretch was absolutely welcomed, his thrusts having slowed down a bit to help me accommodate for the extra digit but my hips were starting to meet his thrusts as I pushed myself back onto his hands.

“Your pussy is such a greedy thing, yeah? Rocking back to meet my fingers like the hungry cock-slut you are.” Another slap resonates within the semi-circular room, not bothering to respond verbally as my moans and whimpers were telling him everything he needed to know. He slips his fingers out and I can hear him grunt, turning my head back and biting my lip as I see him rubbing his slick covered hand over his cock, eyes locked with mine.

“You ready?”

“Fuck me.” I mumble under my breath at his cockiness, his lazy smile cut off by a whimper and that catches my attention.

“I will.” Fuck me indeed. He places his left hand on my hip while continuing to stroke himself as he lines up to me.

“I hope I stretched you out enough.” He whispers and I can feel the head of his cock slip in, the sting that I’d only felt when losing my virginity starting up again and I suck in a breath.

“Fuck babygirl, don’t clamp down like that-“ Jake grunts and sneaks the hand covered in my juices snaking around my hip, placing a large finger on my bud, heavily rubbing the nervous tissue and I buck my hips at the feeling, taking more of him in.

“Thats it,” I could practically hear the smirk in his voice as he keeps the same pace, taking the time to slide the head of his cock in and out cautiously, if I could think without my horny brain I’d be bursting at the seams at his realization and quick thinking.

“You’re so fuckin’ tight, such a good girl for me, huh?” He asks rhetorically.

“Yes~” I moan out and slide myself further down his shaft, taking in the pleasure of him paying attention to my sensitive clit once more, feeling used to the head and craving more, but he was right about one thing, I don’t think I’d be unsatisfied anymore.

“You should see what I see,” His hand abandons my clit and another slap, this time a wet spot left from his fingers cooling down the stinging cheek right as he draws himself out and shoves himself all the way in, the breath getting knocked out of my lungs at that moment.

“Move, move, move, move, move-“ I chant toward him, needing to feel that friction again, not caring if the slightest sting was there, wanting to feel the way his head and shaft glide in so smoothly that it sets all my nerves on fire, another wet smack on my ass as he obliges, repeating the movement.

“Jake, please, again-“ I pant as I say those words and feel another smack on the opposite cheek, releasing a frustrated moan as he stays still, I can feel his arms leave my hips and I whine at the loss, a thud implying they’d been placed in front of me due to his size.

“Hush ya’ mouth, kid,” He comments in my ear, straining his voice as he attempts to thrust slowly, dropping some of the weight of his chest into my back to prevent me from moving my hips back.

“I don’t wanna hold back, please, just go at your pace, I don’t care, please.” I moan between words, I didn’t care if I couldn’t walk from the mind blowing dick he was giving me, I just needed to come.

“Shut up, babygirl.”

I feel a hand circle around my neck from his position, his thumb and fingers squeezing gently at my neck as he says that and I could feel a flutter in my pussy, heat pooling down my lower belly, and I felt a deep desire to be filled with his come.

“You like being choked hmm I can feel your sweet cunt squeezing my cock.” His voice is driven my lust that I didn’t think this was the same man talking to me earlier. “I’ve wanted to take care of this sweet pussy for a while now, watch it swallow my cock, hear you beg for it.” Jake pauses and I felt the orgasm that had been approaching stop with his movement.

“Beg.”

“Please let me come, I was so close, please-“

“Mm, you could do better than that, you did so good for your colleague last week, do I need to repeat the words you told him?”

I could feel my pussy drench in juices as he stated that. I’d heard the sound of someone closing the door right after I’d almost reached an orgasm with Jensen but he told me I was just imagining everything- of course right after he’d gotten to come and left me high and dry- I had to finish myself off in my room, I wonder if he-

“Shame you had to finish yourself off, but that won’t happen again, just beg.”

“In the-“ I pant as I feel the heat on my face “-nicest way possible, I don’t wanna walk after.” I stated with a gasp as he picks up his speed.

“S’what I fuckin’ thought.” He mutters in my ear and squeezes the sides of my neck once more, I believed he’d already been going as fast as possible, only to feel him lift me from my neck as he settled myself on his knees, making sure my thighs were spread over his knee’s, still squeezing my neck.

The shock of him lifting me, settling me on his lap, and thrusting his hips at lightning speed had my orgasm approaching faster than it had been when he was moving at a turtles pace. I could feel my thighs shaking at the feel of the head of his dick rubbing every spot inside I had no idea existed. My feet hadn’t exactly been touching the ground, but I could feel them ghosting over the floor with every thrust, the idea of being manhandled like this turned me on so much.

“Jake, I’m coming, I’m-“ I didn’t have time to finish the sentence as he squeezes the side of my neck and reaches over his other hand to rub my clit, speeding the process along nicely and making my orgasm crash over me.

The words he’d been saying were incoherent at the time, but I did feel warmth, everywhere. He’d wrapped his hands around my chest, the other on my hip to keep me steady, and another type of stretch was filling my pussy, his cock buried deep in me as he comes inside, most of it being dumped out due to it’s limited space.

“Holy fucking shit.” I stated tiredly, thighs still shaking as I manage to slowly bring myself out of my orgasmic mind-fuck. Mind suddenly reeling back and realizing what we’d done. “Holy fucking shit-“ I repeated in a different tone.

“You are ours, babygirl, you don’t need to freak out. It was her idea, remember?” He stated while kissing my temple and I could feel my heart rate picking up.

“I’m still scared to face her now. I fucked her husband.”

“She is also your wife.”

“But does she want to be-“

“Would I be here getting you off if she didn’t want to?”

[star-on-a-beach]

Okay um. I really don't like doing this, like, ever

But

Tw for vent post, Bc idk, maybe it'll help if I talk about this where it'll be seen and not on a vent blog where I know no one sees it

So it's pretty obvious that pretty much everything right now is in kind of a shit state and I'm really at the end of my line trying to be optimistic about it. Presidential election, rp, guard, college, art, writing, all of this shit, even stuff I'm supposed to enjoy, makes me want to fucking shatter a rock because I don't want to do anything anymore other than scroll through social media on my phone which, I've probably developed an addiction, and of course that makes me feel even fucking worse bc I told myself I'd never get addicted and look at where I am now

So many things I'm unhappy with are really kind of tying back to me and I'm so angry at everything but especially myself now, but theres nothing I feel like I can do about it but try and break it all down I guess?

There's shit going on with color guard and, other than the friends I've made within it and the actual performances, I don't fucking enjoy it anymore because our coach is apparently super fucking shitty and a liar and unfair and argumentative and never sticks with the drill she writes and doesn't give us the resources to put it together correctly, WHEHN SHES LITERALLY OUR COACH AND THATS HER JOB, IVE TRIED SO HARD TO STAY KIND TO HER BUT WITH EVERYONE AROUND ME TALKING SHIT AND TALKING ABOUT WHAT A BAD PERSON SHE IS IM STARTING TO DO IT TOO AND I HATE IT

And then obviously there's the actual schoolwork that needs to get done, I thought I had not one, not two, but 3 FUCKING ESSAYS DUE ON THE 11TH, WHICH WERE ASSIGNED TO US ON WEDNESDAY, AND EACH HAD TO BE 700 WORDS LONG. Granted it doesn't actually have to be like that but teachers are talking about finals now and I'm going to have SO many essays for that and I have a whole debate too. I'm tired and sick of waking up at ridiculously different times for classes and not being able to have a goddamn nap bc I'm either working, procrastinating with the screens addiction again, or I don't have enough time because god knows I can't take power naps for SHIT, and I'm not fucking paying for coffee in this economy

I can't even relax how I normally want to because I'm so tired from everything, too. Writing big things for TAOCC or drawing feels like a chore, and then I feel obligated to draw others characters or I want to actually do so but I have no energy for it, and I can't get my art to look how I want it to perspective-wise, no matter how many tutorials I look at, and it never ends up the way I want and I haven't even finished TAOCCTOBER or Memoryquest, both of which I feel shitty for, because then they're both more things that I'm giving up on, and I give up on so much shit so easily unless I'm being pushed over and over and over and over, although rn I really wanna just say to hell with it and kill both of them entirely

And with taocc as a whole, I don't even know where to begin. I mentioned in my earlier post that I'm struggling to be assertive and actually say what I want with RP, which results in me feeling really unsatisfied with it a lot. I feel like people aren't interested in my characters and I need to be the one trying to build the characters' connections by asking questions, which. I love when other characters ask mine questions, because so much would be revealed if PEOPLE JUST ASKED. I know you guys don't mean it in this way but I feel like I'm trying to push all of this out, but I barely get anything back except for maybe one question or comment or smth, but it feels like the characters aren't interested in my characters' pasts, and that means the mods aren't either. Which, is really no fault of yours, whether you are or not, it's my fault because I can't bring myself to get off my high horse and actually say "hey, are you willing to have your characters ask about mine?" because I have the firm mentality of "if they wanted to, they would", and I'm trying to make other characters feel important while also craving mine to feel important, but the moment they do, I wonder if I'm taking the main-character roles too much and I need to even it out so I immediately divert the attention back to yours and feel shitty about it. Once again, this is no one's fault but mine, and this is partially why my relationship with my last rp partner, aka my ex bsf, ended, because I wasn't assertive enough and kept wondering if I was hogging the spotlight any time focus did switch to my characters which just isn't enjoyable for anyone. So I'm angry and terrified that these patterns which are repeating are going to lead to a similar outcome.

It isn't even just that though, I just really hate how I write as a whole rn. I used to be so poetic and good with words but now they read difficult unless I'm writing a great wall of text, and my characters aren't acting the way I want to, partially because I'm trying to morph them to get along more with other characters and diminish their flaws so they're liked by others, but it just takes away from who they were originally and I hate that as well. It's easy to get caught up in the heat of the rp but for fucks sake I expect myself to be a better writer than this.... and I haven't even gotten around to fixing the fucked-up-with-a-side-of-cheddar timelines, which have been NAGGING at my mind for FUCK KNOWS HOW LONG, but once again, I don't even want to do anything anymore and I get mad bc the only things I wanna do are just self indulgent shit and like hell I'm asking for that from anyone (see, that's part of the problem, right there.)

I think the only thing I hate more than not being assertive with rp is the fact that I'm an adult among you all. Yes, being 18 now while the majority of you are minors is a massive fucking deal to me, and I'm realizing why exactly adults generally avoid friendships like this, because I'm constantly worried about being a good example to you all. I have to have the good advice, I have to be available, I have to be good with assertiveness and boundaries, hell part of the reason I try and avoid venting so much is because you all do not fucking need to have that burden. Every time I do something like this post I immediately think "these are kids and I'm an adult, it's kids trying to help an adult who should not be saying this stuff or laying this burden on them", as if I'm some kind of weirdo. I really try my damndest to not be one of those adults who dumps all their problems on adolescents in order to feel better about their own shitty life, I don't want to be the adult who their younger friends are comforting all the time and have that burden on them (yes, I am completely aware this post contradicts that, and yes, I am very ashamed but I feel Im at rock bottom and you guys deserve to know (but don't deserve the burden of it)). I don't feel like the example I want to be to you guys, I'm incredibly dense, and half the time, I feel like an oblivious idiot for the simplest fucking things in rp even when no one says anything that implies any of you guys think that. I get so annoyed as well, and that's another part I especially hate, it's that I get annoyed with the smallest things so damn easily, whether it's someone saying something random in call and breaking silence, or someone talking about a subject after we've moved on, or a rant that's gone on for a really long time. All of those are ridiculous things to be annoyed by, and I'm completely aware of that. I'm not proud of it whatsoever. It might also be the weather, but I'm so, so, so annoyed by so many tiny, insignificant things nowadays that it's ridiculous, and I've snapped on call a few times which I feel horrible about. I'm trying so hard to be a good, strong role model for all of you, because that's what you deserve and I want to be like that for you. But, both here and in real life, my own idiocy and density and emotions make me feel like I'm never going to escape being a dense, emotional, spacy child who keeps trying to catch up. And as an adult, I'm really, really, really upset that I feel like this because once again, you guys are the minors, not me. I'm not saying you guys should feel like that (I really hope not, no one should feel like that), but it feels even worse since I'm trying to be the adult for you guys to look up to, but I'm looking up to all of you instead. And then, even worse, I get jealous. Not of the bad shit you guys go through, but like. Insignificant things. Art styles, friends, activities, actually having your family around. I really hate myself for being jealous of that and always comparing and trying to match it since it's completely hypocritical of me otherwise.

I'm closing up this vent, but tw for some darker themes in the next paragraph

I'm really just kind of sick of life as a whole. I'm done being an adult, to hell with this, just let me be the younger friend again so I don't have to see myself as an old baby. I'm tired of all of this and the dark jokes I make, they're horrible, but they're becoming more common and I think about the content of them a lot. I'm so tired of this shit and feeling like this and I'm mad and ashamed that I'm making this post because of everything I said above. I'm so done with everything. To hell with this country, to hell with my future, to hell with drawing and writing and trying to put stuff out. At the time of writing this I'm crying, because I'm really really missing my dad. I want to hug him and be with him. I want my family overall to be okay. I want to feel happy and content with myself and my life like back in summer. I'm so sorry for having to say all this but it's the truth and, again, this is my last resort for trying to feel better because hell knows I don't have the initiative to make an appointment and talk to a therapist on campus. Ik this will go away later but ffs i don't know if I can wait until later.

Ok, heavy vent part is over

I've said a lot so I'm ending it here. If you choose to ignore this, that's fine. I'd appreciate some kind of acknowlegement, tbh, whether it's a like or a comment or something, or just a kind word (whatever you do, please don't just put *hug* and leave it at that, hugs dont really feel like they have much more meaning at this point). It feels ridiculous to ask you for comfort especially after kinda dumping all of this here for you guys to see but I might as well try ig. Idk, I'm gonna just try and not delete this out of shame.

I hope you all know that I love you guys so, so, so, so much. This community has brought me so much joy and leaving is the last thing I'd ever dream of unless I had to. I hope you guys don't mind me doing this too much. Logically Ik you probably don't but, really, none of what I just vented about is based in logic regardless.

Thank you for reading, whether it was skimming or fully reading it. Kind words are appreciated but obviously not forced and I love you guys so much. Goodnight ❤️

[nettlewildfairy]

Tumblr made that big long post and a lot of people are angry reacting to some like surprisingly reasonable suggestions that solve widespread long time  complaints

i dont know how they plan to solve everything just yet but as someone who knows some things about the industry and jargon here are my 2 cents

Here is a link to the referenced post

Principle 1: Expand the ways new users can discover and sign up for Tumblr

in an age where most social media sites are making it aesoteric and difficult to share posts offsite /app tumblr is considering making it easier to do

yall do you know how hard it is to link a long tumblr post with like a comic or funny string of replies to share with my friends who arent on tumblr? i have to take like 15 screenshots every time. IF staff is priorizing making it easier to share posts that would be so much better oh my god 2 High quality content on launch.  the pessamistic assumption is that this could mean a mandatory algorithm but if you read carefully you’ll notice they never fully say thats even remotely what they are going to do. This seems to be a suggestion that the default new user experience will change. 

If you like me made an account 10 years ago this looks like it won’t affect your experience whatsoever. 

but like trying to sort through tags to find blogs and curate my own feed actively took like over a year to get to a place where i’m happy when i did it in 2011/2012

if feeds and tags Worked that would be good. the for you page and exploration features on tumblr do, admittedly suck right now. there SHould be easier ways to find and search for stuff on tumblr. if their search worked better and finding stuff you wanted to see was easier that Would improve the experience for most people on this site.  3. facilitate easier user participation in conversations folks if replys could be threaded in some way it would be 1000 times easeir to have convos with them. like i do not get what people are upset about here. like a person shouldn’t have to reblog their own post 15 times in a row to reply to different people about the same thing. they could make this so much better.  4. Retain and grow our creator base

 it IS hard for art to see and get seen. if i had a nickle for every time i saw a post begging people to reblog art i’d have like so many nickles.  I would like to see more art. and ttrpg creators. there’s like stuff i have to go to twitter for and its small time ttrpg, art, writing, and literary magazines because even when those folks are on tumblr its extraordinarily difficult to find them with the systems currently in place.

 like i don’t know that tumblr has a good plan to make this kind of thing easier but if they did figure it out it would rule. and its good to know that this is a priority for the company 5.  Create patterns that encourage users to keep returning to Tumblr

throttling notifications rules. i have commented on tumblr staff posts dozens of times for like 5+ years asking for this, thank GOD. if you reblog a lot of posts you get a lot of notes even if you have like 15 people regularly interacting with your stuff on 100 posts a day thats like 1500 notifications. it collapses some by post or interaction type but that is NOT enough and the notification bar always says 99+ unless i checked it less than a minute ago, im dying please make notifications meaningful and not overwhelming. 

6: Performance, stability and quality

this is generic and means very little obviously anyone making an app wants it to crash less often.  bonus: ive seen people get upset at the implication that they are instituting a mandatory algorithm but the site has had an option algorithm for like ages, it doesn't imply its mandatory anywhere or that they're taking away our option to turn it off. there are already artist showcase things on the dash on the regular, if you have adblock on you can’t see some of those, but they've had them for fully years. 

its highly unlikely that they would get rid of one of the main selling points of tumblr.com they’re like a real company thats done bare minimum market research, like folks no one other than musk would do something that boneheaded

[just-bendy]

Well...I don't even know what to ask, because if I ask a question, you answer it to another person the next day (in the sense that he managed to be the first), therefore...Can I just hug this cute ink Stitch?

"If I ask a question, you answer it to another person the next day."

Listen here, pal. Ya ain't exactly on any VIP lists, not that we even have one to begin with. We'll get to yer question when we get to it, unless it's related to any event we got goin' on then yer ask becomes high priority. Otherwise ya gotta be more patient, okay? Here's yer hug.

[chanstopher]

I don't want this to come off as rude at all,I'm just curious as to why you get so much interaction. your posts always get notes and you seem to answer a lot of asks everyday. I am also a cc in the fandom (I'm on anon because I don't want anyone to judge me for this) and my content flops pretty constantly. I'm just wondering if there is a secret to success I'm not learning or if my content is just garbage. Any advice would be nice!

Hi, I definitely dont think you're being rude, I totally understand being frustrated by numbers on here. i wish i had secrets to share but i really dont. i have a lot of followers so my content is pushed further. using tags properly and becoming friends with other ccs is really good for getting your content seen. ive been lucky enough to have ppl like me for some reason so ppl support my blog when i post things most of the time. i do also have some flops, thats just how tumblr works and some ppl wont agree that your content is good and ignore it.

its harsh to say that and i know that ive had terrible content get a lot of notes because of my blog size. but you just have to keep working at it. try changing up how your content looks (more or less grain, sharpening settings, try unique coloring or try to really work on color correction instead of just making things more vibrant or darker) if u write find other writers, no one supports content like content creators.

as for the asks, i have literally no idea. i am confused as to why people would talk to me constantly abhdjs I just try to be kind and keep my negative opinions to myself unless theyre about ppl stepping over bounds or being mean or rude to skz. i try to just be unapologetically myself tho, posting about chris like a rabid dog or just weeping over how much i love him. it is apparently very relatable lmao

i am not good at making friends, all of the people who i am friends with on here have come to me seeking friendship, but going on anon and talking to ppl or just showing up in tags with fun comments or thoughts or just compliments on the content will make you friends. a lot of ppl have reached out to me just because i was kind to their work.

the only real advice is to not give up. i think blog growth is always slow until you just hit a certain point where for one reason or another you become more known and then it will grow more rapidly, but it can take a while. and it can take you finding what youre really good at, you might have no idea how well you are and gif blends or graphics or even just being someone who updates on activities happening with skz (this site is absolutely lacking a proper skz update blog fsjniss) if you ever want to vent about it i'll listen, and if you ever want to send me your content and ask for critique i can do that too (but it will just be my opinion and im not anything special fhbdjs)

above all else you have to enjoy making things or it is never going to be worth it. no number of notes is going to make u better at any kind of art. only time and effort and enjoyment will.

I'm sorry this is so long and i wish any of it was truly helpful, but tbh i think i just got lucky with tumblr and how much interaction i get :/

[wc-confessions]

I don’t want so say I don’t want discussion about my comic (the comic is literally meant to start discussion, thats what its for) and imply that I think I’m like, above criticism or anything because I’m certainly not. I wont ask you to delete the old stuff and I don’t really want you to because there’s good discussion there!

But like, in future cases, like you said in your tags it’d probably be best to keep talk about specific people vague or nonexistent, unless there’s genuine evidence of them doing something nasty (alla sagutoyas) because it can be kind of jarring coming to a tumblr blog and seeing people talk about you like you’re a display at a museum instead of a person, y’know? I don’t think you or even most of the people that sent in asks meant ill and I don’t hold anything against you!!! It was just kind of weird and gross feeling.

Again I deeply appreciate your thoughtful and kind responses, it was a very pleasant surprise, esp after og anon basically indirectly accused me of zoophilia. That’s an absolutely awful thing to say about someone with no basis other than “they talk about sex and that makes me uncomfortable.” Thank you so much again for being responsible, respectful and kind about all this!!! I have a lot of respect for you for doing so, with both this and other situations I’ve skimmed through here.

King Mystrie put my intentions w the comic into words very well; tiptoeing around the topic of sexual abuse doesn’t do anything good for anybody except for predators themselves.

If anyone has concerns about the way I write my story I’m happy to discuss that, just come to me on my deviantART and talk to me instead of accusing me of horrible things on tumblr. (Directed at og anon, not you, blog owner)

Sorry it took a second to respond, I have Symptoms Syndrome so I’ve like reread my own ask like ten times to try and make sure it comes across how I want it to lol

i already have a rule that states id rather people vauge and ive been ignoring talk about creators (with the exception of their work unless the ask is inciting harassment or bullying). ive had people tell me its weird in the past so im doing my best to try to detect when asks cross a boundary but its also hard because im easy to react and often dont really understand what people mean when they say certain things. dont wanna say mainly bc of autism but perhaps people on the internet dont always get their feelings or point across well through text, like sometimes you cant get the same benefits from irl convo than text. but yea i think its my fault for even entertaining the anon before anything. i feel im not the best at handling that kind of stuff but i am open to criticism it helps me immensely bc i dont want this blog to be like negative i want people to have fun and talk about stuff they like too. thank you for this and you seem like a really nice person!

[mariaiscrafting]

i saw you talk about “blocking etiquette” in one of your posts and i was wondering if you could briefly explain that? my blog is a baby (i joined in march) so i really don’t know any of the unspoken social rules haha. i feel i should know this before i say anything ever thats dream critical lmao

also saw you have a ton of asks so feel free to answer or not there’s no obligation ! take care of urself it seems like a lot to handle rn

I'd like to preface this by disclaiming that I've been on Tumblr since 2014, so I think I have a good sense of blocking etiquette as it's evolved with Tumblr culture, but I might still be presumptuous/wrong about some things.

Anyways. So, on Tumblr, there's generally always been a "block first, ask questions later" mentality. No matter the fandom, people kinda just unfollow or block people at will because Tumblr's algorithm is so shit at recommending things for people that unfollowing/blocking are really the primary ways to tailor what you don't want to see. So, if you frequent a search term/tag search, like "dream smp," you'd likely block someone who posts things frequently to that tag, but whose content you dislike. Blocking is, obviously, still used as a means to stop interacting with just plain assholes, as it is on every social media site. But more times than not, Tumblr users block blogs for neutral reasons related to how they want to tailor their social media experience, rather than a personal vendetta against someone.

Frankly, from my perspective, this was the main use of block lists back in the day. They weren't so much ways to truly hate on anyone's blog since anyone deemed a true asshole would likely spur a reporting campaign against them, rather than an addition to a blocklist. No, Tumblr blocklists were almost always so people who frequented certain tags simply... didn't have to put up with some people. If there was a wave of problematic shippers inundating a fandom/character tag, of TERFs inundating trans/feminism tags, or something similar, they would likely be put on a blocklist simply because Tumblr users wanted a comprehensive list of people they might come across, but didn't want to have to see posts from. Along a similar vein, a lot of mcytblr blogs advocate simply blocking people who post imagines in the main mcyt/dream smp tags, rather than harrassing each and every one of them into fixing their tag habits. Like, they're just annoying, really, and this social media site is so big that just blocking the ones who frequent the tag is so much easier than anything else.

One notable difference about Tumblr blocking as compared to Twitter blocking is the malintent behind Twitter blocking. Twitter fandom subtwts will advocate for blocking someone particularly if they're being cancelled/a Twitter user simply dislikes them enough. In addition, I've seen more than one Twitter user unironically say that they block people who unfollow them, as if following/unfollowing them were a personal affront, and blocking people were some component of this social game that reeks of cliqueness and high school levels of maturity.

That isn't to say that Tumblr blocking etiquette doesn't have pitfalls, because it has many. The main one I've noticed is that, especially in smaller fandom spaces, someone who's considered problematic might be enmassed blocked by lots of users in that fandom, and effectively be shut out of that fandom. If they're put onto a blocklist, a problematic post is circulated enough, or they're blocked by enough "big blogs" in the fandom, these users can be kept from reblogging, liking, or sending asks to a large part of the fandom they participate in. Vague posting doesn't really get you anywhere on Tumblr because of how insular each blog is, as opposed to Twitter, where screenshotting someone's profile who's blocked you and/or complaining very obviously about someone blocking you without naming them is commonplace and can be easily spread throughout a subtwt. This means Tumblr blogs who were mass blocked end up reaching much less members of their fandom, cannot really stand up for themselves in the face of mass blocking unless they're infamous enough for people to recognize their name, or participate in the discourse that promoted their blocking in the first place. While I haven't really experienced this, all of this is taken from what I've observed mutuals and recognizable blogs going through over the years.

Another note is that this website is kinda fucked, coding-wise. We all know this. This means that there are a million holes in the blocking system that make it even more annoying to navigate when people have blocked you, and that ends up getting more people blocked than maybe should be.

First of all, those imagine blogs aren't just posting in the main tags for shits and giggles, or to be cumbersome and clutter the main tags. They're doing it because Tumblr is dying, and even in a fandom as big as mcytblr, it's almost impossible to boost/promote your original content. The Tumblr algorithm sucks at spreading awareness about popular posts, more and more Twitter refugees means less and less people who fucking reblog > liking posts, and basically the only way posts can blow up anymore is by being found through a tag that is trending or frequently browsed through the "most recent" setting. This includes dream smp and many smp character names, so obviously imagine blogs are going to take advantage of this and maintag. It's the reason mcytblr constantly tags "m*necraft" despite being told off, time and time again, for doing so by mineblr. And it's the reason I've likely been blocked by many people- because I had to make the decision between spreading awareness of a post that took a lot of effort and that I thought was important enough to main tag despite being critical/negative, or keeping mcytblr happy by not cluttering their bias's tag with a crit post. Sure, some of mcytblr likely blocked me because they thought I was annoying/disagree with me, and that's fine. But I'm sure many blocked me for the same reason I block imagine blogs and mineblr blocks dream smp stans- because they wanted to peruse their fave's tags, and they simply blocked a random blog that posted something they didn't like, without really thinking much of it.

Second of all, side blogs kinda fuck up how blocking works. It's annoying as hell to see a post you really like in the main tag/search, only to find that the person blocked you upon trying to reblog. Because of sideblogs, people will oftentimes block a sideblog because it's that user's fandom blog, without blocking their main, so the user is left kinda seeing their stuff time and time again, without being able to interact with it.

Speaking of how fucky the code is because of the blogging system, reblogs make it even worse. Most social media sites simply make it so a blocked user cannot see another user's profile, posts and all. But Tumblr not only allows this, it kinda fucks up the search function by sometimes allowing people you've blocked/who've blocked you to show up in main tag searches, it didn't take into account the fact that you can still see an OP's post when someone else reblogs it, and Tumblr didn't think to just fucking fix all these holes and just wholly omit someone's posts if they've blocked you, or you've blocked them. So, despite blocking people, you can still be logged in and see all their shit, and they can see yours. It's kind of annoying as fuck.

[i-may-be]

hey could i request a a match up?

i am a pan or demisexual girls

prefered pronouns: any pronouns

platonic or romantic: both

characters i wish not to be paired with: dainsleif or kaeya

my love languages: physical touch + words of affirmation ( im touch starve😭😭)

personality traits: as per my MBTI i am an ISTJ. I am introverted indeed(unless its related to work or studies somehow) I've been told that i am intimidating to people or have a resting bitch face. I can be mean to people I'm close with. I like staying mellow places like libraries, cafes and sometimes arcade. i like getting lost in my own world mostly. I am often very sarcastic. I have anxiety. I only like being around few people, the kinds of people who can be in silence without making it awkward. I tend to say random stuff alot that doesn't really make much sense. i make alot of awkward and dark jokes when im nervous or scared.

Whether i want multiple partner: sure

How i present myself: I tend to be that silent kid in back of the room at first, who somehow gets roped into some group and goes along with the dumb shit and ends up having even at the cost of being annoyed.I love being invested in a good book , manga or manhua. The kind of kid who's interests no one really understands , ya know? I just dont let anyones bullshit involve me ig. in terms of style i like dabbling in different aesthetic, mostly it involves autumn colours or blacks and greys, definitely chunky boots and alot of silver jewellery.

How I am when I'm comfortable with someone:

I am: It really depends, i can be very moody. Either I am very noisy , crack alot of jokes . I can be very outgoing. Or i can be that one person who often acts like a mom or has no energy to do anything.

Hobbies: i love listening to music , playing drums and guitar, reading books, watching anime.

likes : hugs and cuddles. ( i tend to hang on my tall close friends 😃. im smoll), Snakes( can see myself as having a pet)

dislike : being cut off when im talking, Spiders ( i get panic attacks when i see em) people being stupid in general.

Type: no specific type tbh, just not very cocky people. Someone who can be intimate without it being sexual in anything. someone who does little things that matter. someone who would ahow some amount of interest in things i like thats all ig

hello! thank you for choosing this blog for your matchup <3

GENSHIN IMPACT PLATONIC MATCHUP: Xinyan

HOW YOU MET

You were looking for new music to listen to, low and behold, Xinyan was performing for you to hear just a few twists and turns away!

This was before she had gained a big following, with only a few regulars at her concerts, so she absolutely lit up when she caught sight of you and boom pow- her music is heightened with happiness!!!

After the show, you stuck around a little without much to do, and she popped down to say thank you and hello! She was so enthusiastic and friendly it was hard to turn her down.

You both spoke a little about music; you ask questions, she asks questions, all in all a fun time. She asked you how she could improve her music or her appearance.

You become a regular supporter and you both grow closer over time! You both have fun and go to Wangmin for food sometimes.

RELATIONSHIP HEADCANONS

She likes to give gifts! She can be pretty crafty too, she did make her guitar after all. She makes such cute birthday gifts and they're always so thoughtful!!! Sometimes you wonder how she made such a gorgeous present with how much time she dedicates to music

Very very cuddly. Likes to hold hands and cuddle in a /p kinda way. She likes her pda and showing her friends she loves them with a little fist bump and shoulder taps.

I feel like she sometimes goes quiet, probably humming a tune or tapping her foot. She has a lot of thoughts, and she kinda goes and wallows in them randomly. Don't be worried if she falls silent during a conversation, she just thought of a super cool beat or lyric and needs to note in before you go back to your regularly scheduled content.

honestly your contrasts>>>> you as someone who doesn't tend to draw attention to themself and Xinyan, who's a passionate and well-known musician. A lot of people might not suspect you two to be friend; but you're both like two peas in a pod.

HANGING OUT

Music!!! She'd defo go to you for some exclusive sneak-peaks for her songs. She'd probably asked for you to play drums or guitar with her on stage!!! She really loves to share her rock n' roll with you if you're willing to listen to her!!! She's a sweetheart :]

Shopping!! By the sounds of it you both have a somewhat similar style, and who doesn't like a second input when shopping? Even just sharing clothes+jewlery is a thing you'd both do. She probably has something you picked out for her as a lucky charm too!

You telling her what's happening in your books. She isn't a bbig reader, but she loves hearing about the stories, and she is entirely up for- practically jumping at the idea of- you explaining the book to her! She also loves to listen to you talking about your favourite character or just something your pissed off about in it, she may not always understand but she's so here for it.

Cuddles and just relaxing. She overworks herself a lil, and doesn't allow herself much time to breath. To her; you're a very calming presence that kinda encourages her to relax. You both don't have to do anything in particular- just not anything too face paced!

ROMANTIC MATCHUP: Diluc Ragnvindr

HOW YOU MET

You heard rumors about him before you actually met him, but it's the same with most people, I guess that's just rich tavern owner things innit

But you properly met him while having a drink at the tavern- alcoholic or not, they've got a variety- but he was serving you and whatnot because he just does that I guess, not sure if that's the owner's job but hey, if the fandom wills it.

So you were having a drink, and it was a fairly slow night- week-day and whatnot- so you both kept each other company. He seemed like a fairly polite man, though getting more sarcastic as the night went on. You found he was prone to gossip too.

All in all, you enjoyed the company alomg with the drinks. With some thought, you decided to make this a regular thing; popping into the tavern on your chosen day to catch up with Diluc, and it was very nice for him too.

So, your friendship started at the tavern before slowly progressing further into your regular life when you met him while traveling outside of Monstadt's central city type range.

RELATIONSHIP HEADCANONS

Takes him a hot minute to be the one who initiates anything intimate, but he's got you 9/10. His intamacy is so strange cause like- he'll learn about your favourite things and dance to your favourite songs with you, but it takes him a month or so of you two being official for him to feel comfortable holding hands in public. Not to say that he'll never get physicall intimate, but he's a lit(very) insecure about doing something you're not comfortable with; maybe he'll touch you elbow in a way you won't like, who's to say.

He's memorised a lot of your favourite things. You're favourite drink, maybe a few favourite books(there are a lot and I'm not sure if you're decisive, bc I amn't), favourite comfort thing. He can remember things well- even if he sometimes pretends he doesn't at all.

He's actually smooth when he doesn't mean to be. Like he'll say some super poetic shit like "you are my stars, moon and sun combined" unknowingly, but the SECOND someone calls him out on it or he somehow becomes concious of it, he's a fumbling mess. When he's fumbling he's all nervous like "You- umh- you look nice. I like what you've done with you're well- hair" It's sweet though.

He is the most patient man when he wants to be. We've seen him be impatient(think when he and the traveler were tryna get info from the cryo(?) mage) but he can be so patient. He likes to time things right, give them the attention they deserve- especially when he's invested. Just expect him to be a patient dude, in most situations.

HANGING OUT

He doesn't even seem like the type of guy to hang out- he's too much of an "ah romance" type of partner to even consider simply hanging out. He has money he's gonna spend it. Ok well that's just a long way to say that he's here to treat you to anything you wish!! A new resturaunt just opened and you want to eat there? Best seats in the house! There's a musician you like having a concert nearby? Front row tickets!(is that what you call them? I've never been to a concert)

Dates to the library!! I honestly believe he's lowkey afraid of Lisa(though he'll never admit it) so don't be surprised when he peaks around his shoulder if he hears a slight creak. Either way, he loves going to the library with you! He has one at the Winery too, filled with classics since it hasn't been updated in years, but he's willing to open it up for you to take over!!

Not sure which universe this'd take place on(c/r or gi/r) but he would watch animes with you. The type to focus on characters; like if someone proposes a theory the only reason he'd ever disagree is bc "kinda ooc :/" and that's funny to me. He would like demon slayer I think, not sure why.

This one is going to be a little random but you two playing random browser games>>>>> You two playing lavaboy and watergirl<3 I also feel like he'd be strangely skilled at Papas Pizzaria or that one penguin waitress game. Anyway, I think the prompt for this one is as clear as day(fireboy!!) but I genuinely think it would be a lot of fun and a cute couple thing!!!

[paneerlajwanti]

What do u do when you are overwhelmed by college? Like there isn't anything much to do but I keep postponing everythin and procrastinating, I just can't focus on anything, and it's been like tht this entire sem, idk what I'll do once exams start🥺🥺 I can't even focus on developing any skills which might prove useful. To sum it up, I can't seem to do anything other than sleeping and worrying about how I'm not doing anything. Is there anything that you do which helps when you can't focus?🥺

Also, I love your blog(and you too) and you are so sweet and nice😘😘

hi anon, (this is an ask for you and an order for me, at least if i write this out, i might be able to implement at least a small portion of it in my actual life),, im actually the worst person to ask for this because more than often, a lot of things spiral out of control, on my own will with nobody to blame. im actually proud of how well i dragged myself through this semester,, even though thats something not to be proud of.

i dont know what i do when i get overwhelmed by college. if i had a schedule and if i wouldve not been as dependent on unhealthy coping mechanisms then maybe i wouldve been less overwhelmed.

so i would like to first fix that. i would firstly like to create a schedule, not the optimistic "ideal adarsh baccha" kind, but a realistic timetable that i actually relate to without having to cut down on my downtime and feeling guilty about it. i create blocks of different sectors of mylife instead of hyper-minute goals and lists. they scare me and i never end up doing everything required, even though lists and planning can give a sense of accompllishment. blame my time management skills for that.

i do procrastinate A LOT. i mean at an astronomical level, i wont even budge from my comfort zone and get things working until the deadline is very near and its very dangerous and i dont have time,, apparently the only way i have ever functioned in the past and even now is if theres a pressing influence of either time, people or impressing.

i dont also have a good study routine, but i also dont have the right motivation or attention span to dedicate time to it.

what really helps me is taking notes. taking notes multiple times and in different ways, writing it down or creating a mind-map of sorts atleast keeps your mind involved, you dont feel guilty that you havent studied at all, and youre able to overview the contents of the subject.

i keep my spirits up with music. i actually have study music playlists that i play, that actually helps me a lot. also, bold of me to say that decluttering my room and organizing my things clears my mind and makes me feel a little better when i dont even do it regularly unless urgent need to. (even though it takes up energy to do that too and i often marinate in the chaos)

i understand exactly how you feel. you're not alone. dont pull yourself down, you are trying your best and youre progressing, one day at a time. im proud of you.

[uh-drarry]

Can i ask what the difference between ace and aro is? If not thats totally fine! I was just curious, have a lovely day ♥️

Of course!! I hope you are having a lovely day as well, nonnie. Thanks for the ask! I’m not an expert but I have done a lot of research since realizing I was both ace and aro but I only recently realized this within the last six months so I’m going to give kind of broad terms and they both definitely have more definitive terms depending on the person using them. Ace is short for Asexual. Aro is short for Aromantic. (As I type this Aromantic is showing as a spelling error, and if that doesn’t tell you anything about how underrepresented that community is idk what will). This got a bit long, so I am putting it all under the cut.

Asexual people feel little to no sexual attraction. The opposite of this is Allosexual, meaning you do feel sexual attraction. Asexual is an umbrella term and there’s many micro labels under it as well. This doesn’t mean aces don’t have a libido though. Some people have high or low libidos and are still Ace because it’s about sexual attraction. Asexual people sometimes define themselves as one of the following, sex favorable (does enjoy sex, but possibly won’t initiate it themselves, or they could live without it but are happy to partake as far as I understand), sex positive (this can mean the previous, or, like me, they encourage others to have sex if they want it, and believe safe sex should be taught, etc.), sex neutral (they might enjoy sex, but eh, that’s cool if they never do it again, or ever), and sex repulsed (might get nauseous at the thought of it, never wants to partake, depending who they are they might not want to see it, hear it, watch it, etc even within media, nothing). Back to feeling or not feeling sexual attraction, for example, I have never once looked at, say Chris Hemsworth or Zendaya, and thought “Yeah, they turn me on, I’d have sex with them.” (Honestly the fact that I really had to think to come up with names there, which I think it very telling, I’m laughing at myself). *oversharing probably but trying to help people understand, sorry* Despite the my lack of sexual attraction to anyone, I do feel things, for example, when I read smut or something similar. Ace people might get themselves off, have sex, or never do anything of the sort down there. That kind of thing is about feeling good, you don’t have to think your partner or whatever is sexy in order to do that. If anyone wants to do their own research, AVEN.com (Asexual Visibility and Education Network) is probably a good starting point, or I can rec some blogs here.

Aromantic people feel little to no romantic attraction. Very different from feeling sexual attraction, yes? Basically, take all of what I wrote about being Ace and exchange sex with romance and that’s an aromantic person. I will explain anyway. Just like allosexual, alloromantic people are people who do feel romantic attraction. Romantic attraction is when you want to do romantic coded things with people. Of course romance is a bit harder to define than sex, so it can mean a lot of things to different people. Kissing can be seen as romantic to one person, and another aro person could really enjoy kissing others for example. Personally, I get pretty uncomfortable in romantic situations regarding myself and someone else, which I would probably define as being Romance Repulsed. After learning what this term meant and reading some about it, I really thought of my experiences. I’m pretty sure I’ve never had a crush on anyone, relationships (the brief two that I’ve had) really just felt like friendships. I didn’t initiate anything besides maybe handholding because I didn’t know what to do, or I didn’t even realize that was a thing that most people in that situation would be doing at that point in a relationship. I felt very uncomfortable when a ex tried to take a kiss further than a peck, among other things. Again, being Aromantic doesn’t mean aro people automatically will never have or want romantic relationships. They just don’t feel those feels for people usually. Like AVEN for asexuals, there’s Arocalypse.com for aro people. I have less blogs to rec here, but I can rec some if someone wants it.

There are good examples of different types of attraction, I personally feel platonic attraction which would be the desire to be someone’s friend, as well as aesthetic attraction which is defined below.

People can be one, or both, or neither. I am both, AroAce. People in these communities often use the Split Attraction Model (SAM). Which would be like someone stating that they are Asexual Homoromantic, or Aromantic Heterosexual, or Aromantic Pansexual, among many other combos.

Because I do feel aesthetic attraction, pretty much solely towards women, I define myself as an Oriented AroAce, or Lesbian AroAce. If I ever did end up in a relationship with someone, I can only ever imagine it to be with a woman. Again though, that’s just one microlable among so many that are out there.

This is a huge list of identities and labels, it overwhelms be tbh, but I’m linking it here anyway because it’s very informative.

I assume this ask was in response my reblog here. Yes I get very annoyed when people treat these two orientations as the same thing, despite me identifying as both. As I hope you can now see, they are very different things. A lot of the time, I enjoy reading about romance and sometimes sexual relationships, but sometimes I want to read other peoples thoughts, fics, posts, etc about only one of these and the Aro/Aromanticism tag is flooded with posts about asexuality which really doesn’t help people who are trying to learn about aromanticism or wanting specific content.

One more point before I wrap this up. I read a book because I wanted to see if it’d help me know for sure if I was demisexual (definition can be found in the huge list I linked two paragraphs up, or on google), and it actually made me realize I was aroace and I am forever grateful for it so I will rec it here. It’s called Loveless by @aliceoseman and it has quickly become my favorite book. So if anyone wants to read about a fictional character realizing they’re aroace, this is a fantastic book. I related so much to Georgia, it’s crazy. Also her other works are fantastic.

Remember you are not alone! Experts believe that 1% of the population is ace (and I think it’s the same for aro people) and that might sound like no one but, guys, theres 7.8 billion people on this planet. That means theres 78 million people like us! I ended up finding a lot of ace people to follow on twitter as well by the way.

This might be a hot take to some but the A in LGBTQIA+ does not mean ally! It’s for Asexual, Aromantic, and Agender! And we do belong in the queer community because the queer community is for people who aren’t straight, cis, or amatonormative. Wow, I hope this all makes sense, if any of you are confused or have more thoughts, or I messed something up, UNLESS YOU’RE BEING APHOBIC, add your thoughts, or message me!

Side note: Do please send me recs of people to follow, books, fics, shows, whatever, I am always searching for new content within these orientations!

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-12-25

I’m not going to spend time BLOGGING an upd8 on Christmas morning!

...yes I am who the fuck am I kidding.  (Bonus stuff and Hiveswap are still well on hold though.)

So are we gonna follow up on the main ship?  Probably not, right, with that perfect Karkat point to cut away, right?  We’re just going to leave Roxy’s question hanging, as well as makeouts etiquette, and leave while having seen a COUPLE FRAMES of non-possessed canon Jade with only whatever fun fanart was inspired across the internet by the moment to tide us over????

Yeah, probably.

Ugh, more Dirk.  I guess it’s overdue.  :(

> CHAPTER 16. Welcome to my Secret Lair

Oh huh, I guess not?  So... Jane’s, or Rose and Kanaya’s?

Karkat stays for longer than John thought he would. They talk a bit, but mostly they are quiet. Eventually, Karkat gets called away on yet more important war business, leaving John with one final touch on the shoulder. John leans into it in response, though he’s a bit ashamed of chasing down a sliver of physical affection so soon after obliterating Karkat’s evening like he had.

Pretty much, yeah.  Can’t blame either of them.

When Karkat is finally gone, John still doesn’t move. It isn’t as though he has nowhere else to go, since there are quite a few places he might attempt to make himself useful, for better or for worse.

You’re still abandoning the task that was explicitly yours to protect your literal kid and his friends, but, oh well.  Low-point.  Dave dead, house dead, broke news, I get it.

He just doesn’t feel ready for that yet. The remnants of his house are still smoldering, and he can’t stop staring at them. It would make sense, he thinks, to want to root around through the rubble for anything that’s still intact; some half-charred keepsake to claim as the last thing left that’s still his. But he doesn’t want to do it, and he doesn’t want to think about it. And he still can’t move.

Can’t move.  No Breath huh?  What’s going to get him to, then?

> (==>)

Oh boy, that might help.  XD  She’s pretty good at that.

> (==>)

Still with the waistline gap.  And was his phone always yellow like his God-Tier shoes?

ROXY: hey john can u do me a quick solid ROXY: actly idk how quick itll be but its definitely solid ROXY: harry anderson says i just missed u being here but could u skip back on over?

Nice, huh!  No judgment, just a hey-any-chance-you-could-swing-back.  He sort of needs to be needed right now, in a simple, almost everyday non-judgmental way I guess.  (That’s what he NEEDED anyway-- whether he deserved it though is up for debate.)

ROXY: i need help w/smth and yr darling boy is holed up in his room working on some fuckin craft project or other and cant be bothered

YES SEW JOHN A BETTER FITTING FUCKING OUTFIT

ROXY: and now that me and u are freshly on speakin terms again i might as well take advantage of that olive branch and put u to work ROXY: assumin you havent died in an air raid, that is ROXY: which id also be interested in knowin about so if u wld be so kind as to reply instead of leavin me hangin

Heheheh.  Gosh Roxy is always the best.

JOHN: yea yea sorry im here. JOHN: i just had a hard time getting my phone out of these fucking tiny pants.

Hah.

JOHN: and also my house is bombed out so i'm kinda grappling with that. JOHN: but i honestly am not sure how much longer i need to sit around staring at it. trying to align my memories of my youth with whatever is happening right now so JOHN: short version is no i’m not dead, and yeah i can come back over there and help you out. ROXY: oh sweet yr alive and down to do manual labor its a win/win JOHN: see you soon.

Yep!  Pulled away from all the metaphorical, ultra-meaningful bullshit, back to some brass tacks with some easy humor.  Definitely something Roxy can do well.~

> (==>)

EXCUSE ME.  What is that outfit and pose.  Did you--

ROXY: sup ROXY: follow me ROXY: well were just going to my room so i guess technically u know the way JOHN: haha ok.

Did you invite him over for the manual labor of banging you while your son is sewing in the other room

Or maybe the labor is making him a new sibling.  JFC

Is this plan part of why we got the sudden content warning that was mocked or was that mainly for Hiveswap 

John follows, trying to shake the ominous feeling he got from what she’d just said. He’d been in and out of this house a lot in the past few days. Why should this be any different?

I DUNNO JOHN DOES THIS SEEM DIFFERENT TO YOU

> (==>)

Yea this seems like a fucc room.

JOHN: it’s not like i could forget! ROXY: ya i guess u only really saw the living room when you were here the other day but i have changed some stuff up ROXY: done a lil redecoratin here n there

So it’s MORE of a fucc room than previously >__>”

ROXY: may have to do a smidge more if my old bff decides im next on the list for bombing out ROXY: but so far so good

Ah geez.

ROXY: just a coupla exploded cars in the yard from some shenanigans our dear son and his friends were in but u kno it is what it is!!!

Well, that’ll buff out easy.

ROXY: can i get u anything? ROXY: just made some coffee JOHN: no, uh, i’m good.

Of course she has a fancy handled winecoffeeglass  (and the handle does look ridiculous but it’d be too hot to hold otherwise)

Roxy shrugs and swirls her own coffee around in her novelty mug. John looks around. A lot about the room is the same. The family photos, the rug. There’s a lot more cat stuff in there now, though. The bed is new. John feels like he’s about to take a test he hasn’t studied for. He makes himself focus on what she’s saying.

That would be the feeling.

> (==>)

MY GOD.  Roxy is so fucking good at this holy shit

She KNOWS she’s making him squirm and she loves it

JOHN: so uh anyway. JOHN: what was this favor? ROXY: yo why dont u just come rest yr tush for a bit ROXY: take a lil relax next 2 me here JOHN: haha uh. JOHN: roxy i uh. JOHN: im flattered, but i don’t know if that’s really the right step right now. JOHN: don’t get me wrong, everything seems so fucked up right now that when i try to think about what might actually BE the right step, it feels like a huge cartoon question mark might physically manifest over my head. JOHN: but I’m not sure if um rekindling our physical relationship is really the best--

So is Roxy trolling him, about to reveal she wasn’t thinking of sex and was just making things seem sultry?  Or just had “lol jk” as an option-select, maybe.

> (==>)

ROXY: r u kiddin me rn egbert JOHN: i’m not? unless you were, in which case yeah lets say i was also kidding. JOHN: oh my god, i’m sorry, i don’t know why this making me freak out.

OH NOOO NOT THE DISDAAAAIN - CRITICAL HIT D:

ROXY: i remember our past boot knockin with fondness but that is a situation im not interested in revisiting

boot knockin XD

ROXY: look john ROXY: i was trying to be polite about it ROXY: offering u sustenance n rest n all ROXY: but you look like shit ROXY: i just wanted to catch up on the whole heinous war situation were in and maybe check in on e/o before leaping strait to the real n actual nonsexual manual labor favor i have in mind for u JOHN: oh.

Hey, she can’t help looking sexy she’s too good at it.

Is the manual labor moving the crashed cars?  Can’t Roxy pull that off on her own, or... banish the cars to the void or something?  (Oh, but WOULD she want to do it on her own when she can rope in John and bring him down to earth by giving him a useful task?  And admittedly his strength and wallet would make things easier.)

John feels his shoulders unbunch. Of course. Yeah. He’s almost embarrassed by how relieved he feels. So what if his ex wife wanted to hook up? Shouldn’t that be a situation he could navigate? Don’t people like to find solace in human physical connection during dire times? Why did the idea of it make his mind white out in panic more than, say, any number of the traumas he just experienced?

Probably some gender stuff mixed up in there too, June.

He doesn’t know, but he believes Roxy that he must look pretty haggard. He probably feels haggard? Maybe sitting down will feel better.

Just put your feet up yeah

> (==>)

WHAT A CUTE IMAGE

JOHN: sorry. like i said, my "how to react to stuff" meter is completely fucked right now. ROXY: thats fair bud

she’s used to being patient with you don’t worry otherwise you never would’ve gotten this far

ROXY: real fast i do need to do a quick takeback of all that shit i said last time we talked about janey not being literally the most evil person we knew or whatever ROXY: i guess i was hopped up on arguin or somethin since that was before we hit our conversational vibe bc of course u were right and i shoulda listened

Ouch.  Yeah, we saw just lately just how far off the deep end she was.  (Where was that funny upd8 reaction art summarizing the bit where Kanaya was holding Tavros hostage and Jane was transparently debating “hmm do I let my son die?” and Kanaya and Tavros were just looking at each-other flat-mouthed nervous?  I REALLY wanted to share that but I don’t usually want to reblog or put most stuff HS^2 not under a read-more, for spoiler purposes, usually.)

ROXY: im just glad ur ok ROXY: or like alive JOHN: yeah, jury's still out on "ok" but, you know. ROXY: ya ROXY: u said ur house is gone?? JOHN: yep. JOHN: completely. ROXY: jeez ROXY: i would ask how ur feelin but like the answer 2 that has got 2b "prtty bad"

Talk it ouuuut~~  get those feels out there and articulated john

JOHN: yeah. JOHN: i mean. JOHN: no? JOHN: it’s weird. JOHN: it feels like it should be a bigger deal, I guess? JOHN: like it’s my HOUSE. JOHN: but mostly it always felt like my dad’s house? JOHN: and when i started living there after i moved out of here, it was like i crammed myself back into whatever was left of my kid self? JOHN: and it didn’t feel good, but it at least was familiar, you know? JOHN: like living there let me feel closer to my dad, trying to be like the way i remember him, or like how i remember him wanting me to be, or something? JOHN: and i didn’t realize how much i hated doing that until i saw it all go up in flames. JOHN: so i guess i could have used my powers to stop the fire and save whatever was left of the place, but i couldn’t bring myself to do it. JOHN: like some fucked up part of me was glad i got there too late? JOHN: so i just sat there, watching, trying to figure out why watching my house burn down felt like i was being released from prison. JOHN: and even now i keep trying to explain it away, as though it’s because of how fucked up everything else is that it made me feel good. JOHN: but that’s just bullshit. JOHN: it DID feel good. JOHN: i DO feel free. JOHN: sorry.

I was kind of saying some Breath/Blood stuff at the time of him losing his last tie to his stubborn sticking-to-his-kid-self bit?  Except now we’re mixing it in with June Egbert and his gender-identity questions too.

ROXY: no need 2 apologize ROXY: we just delved in2 my whole gender thing last time so it seems fine for u to have a turn JOHN: i didn’t say it was a gender thing.

Oh shit

ROXY: well no i just meant like i did some sharing ROXY: like referrin 2 the topic i brought up when we chatted last ROXY: but like now that u mention it ROXY: *meaningful pause* JOHN: … JOHN: i JOHN: ROXY: lol well we can move on 2 the favor part if youd rather ROXY: stick a lil pin in that topic n come back 2 it when u have had sleep

Are you just INCREDIBLY incisive Roxy or have you and John talked about this before?

ROXY: like i said the other day its not like this shits figureoutable in 1 sitting anyways JOHN: yeah... ROXY: sooooooo ROXY: movin on

It’s just fine for Roxy to slow-roll this yeah, if she’s going to pry open that door a little

ROXY: dont be mad but theres a part of the house u didnt know abt the whole time u lived here JOHN: what? ROXY: yea ROXY: i got a secret lair ROXY: for my sciences

OH FUCK YES SCIENCE LAB, of COURSE Roxy would want a cool science lab basement because she always wants a cool science lab basement

ROXY: and i get to it via a transportalizer underneath our bed ROXY: which is 2 heavy 2 move by my lonesome so i just needed to borrow some o your aforementioned powers of wind

Okay no.  Wait.  What the fuck?

First of all, as funny and MSPaintAdventures-y as furniture being in the way of things is, why would you block it with a bed too heavy to move, but,

Second of all, more importantly, how is a GOD-TIER ROXY not strong enough to lift a heavy bed?!?!?!?  Either she’s lying to get John involved in things or this is a gendered cop-out because these characters are superheroes at the TOP of their echeladders, given obnoxiously powerful video-game strength and athletics only to then have ascended into DEITIES.  God-Tier Roxy could probably have lifted a bed like that when she was SEVENTEEN!  And now she’s an ADULT, out-of-shape or otherwise!  If this were a whole CAR I might be willing to handwave it, but just a heavy BED?!?  And none of the GUYS are going to have this much trouble lifting a bed like this, are they??  This just feels like following classic cartoony gender tropes in the complete absence of these characters’ super powers, what the fuck, and also Roxy if you didn’t make it Transportalizer-only access you could have given it an entrance you could phase through with your fancy powers to get to.  FUCK.

This feels stupid.

ROXY: so if u dont mind woosh away JOHN: uh ok, well... JOHN: a secret science lair, sure, i can deal with that. JOHN: why not! JOHN: it doesn’t work out great when i do the windy thing indoors, though. ROXY: aight then no wind bending just use your mangrit

Roxy flexes, the corner of her mouth pulled up into a familiar grin. John feels his guts, so recently calmed, twist up into knots again. Her eyebrows shoot up and the smile loosens. He must have shown something on his face.

You’re already THIS sensitive about gendertalk?

ROXY: ok or just like push when i push ROXY: we both got sick muscles ROXY: no other adjectives necessary JOHN: yeah ok. ROXY: on 3?

Please, please reinforce the idea that they both have sick strength, because they fucking do and the idea that Roxy actually a hundred percent NEEDED John to do this is BS.

> (==>)

JOHN: holy shit? ROXY: sorry to lop yet another huge scoop onto ur lil brains ice cream revelation sundae JOHN: so wait, if this thing's always been under the bed, how’d you get down here before without me? ROXY: well thats neither here nor there john JOHN: i mean it is kinda. Here. ROXY: fine ok checkmate ROXY: i dont ACTUALLY need ur nerdgrit for this escapade ROXY: like im sorry but i said it ROXY: i mostly just wanted to see you and show u wats down here

THANK FUCKING CHRIST.

If that wasn’t actually just a lie to get him involved I was going to stay SO mad.  Of COURSE Roxy can move a fucking BED no matter how heavy it is.  OF COURSE.

ROXY: and also uve been ~sent for~ JOHN: ok but like ROXY: john i am inviting u 2 my inner sanctum ROXY: i am literally bringing out the word "sanctum" in case u werent already clued in 2 how cool this is ROXY: so do u wanna go into my secret lair or wat JOHN: yeah!? JOHN: yes? i guess? ROXY: aight good

Yes John of course you want to stop fighting it

ROXY: then as they told me in the hospital before lil h a was born ROXY: just push

eyeroll, but yeah, of course

> (==>)

Oh cool, sprite form version of her loungewear.

> (==>)

Sorry for my compulsion to post every full-frame image of Roxy in this awesome outfi-WERE YOU KEEPING CALLIOPE UNDER YOUR BED THIS WHOLE TIME?!?????

That’s like... almost a fucking metaphor isn’t it????  For the relationship you preferred in the other timeline and possibly THIS one TOO or

ROXY: hey callieee i got him ROXY: o damn john sorry i shoulda also told u callies here weve been hangin out again ROXY: 1 more freak for ur bean

Oh huh, so this isn’t an always thing.  And these two can get close in more than one timeline where it would’ve worked out nicely.  :)

JOHN: oh it's ok, my bean feels pretty well adjusted to freakage at this point so keep them coming if you like! ROXY: k cool i will JOHN: do i get to know what that big thing under the sheet is? ROXY: hmmmmmm no JOHN: oh ok. JOHN: are you sure? i mean, it seems like a pretty prominent feature of the room. JOHN: space. JOHN: wherever we are. ROXY: and a totally mysterious n COMPLETELY inconspicuous feature it will have to remain for now ROXY: we r kinda in a hurry here fyi ROXY: and by that i mean ROXY: we are in precisely the amount of hurry that means im excused from having to a that specific q rn JOHN: right, sorry. JOHN: i will pay no attention to the object behind the curtain. ROXY: u catch on fast egbert ROXY: anyway theres more cool info coming so just follow me

I don’t have any big theories.  Is it just the Hiveswap device or something?  If Calliope helped with it it’d help explain the Cherubic theme.

> (==>)

JOHN: so... this is all downstairs? JOHN: it seems like you had a lot of work done. ROXY: well no not x actly ROXY: were in the old meteor JOHN: under the house??? ROXY: ok so ROXY: in hindsight it may have been a bit misleading 2 say like ROXY: "downstairs" ROXY: in reference to a place which is hells of buried underground and may not actually be literally under the house ROXY: but there is no time to explain all that rn john so instead im going to refer u to my adorable little green friend here CALLIOPE: #U_U# ROXY: (hehe) CALLIOPE: *AHEM* CALLIOPE: hi john! CALLIOPE: long time no see. ^u^

Cherubs just really like dark cavelike places full of weird tech don’t they.

> (==>)

THEY’RE SO CUTE

JOHN: oh, uh. hey callie! JOHN: it sure has been a while huh. JOHN: now that i think about it, the last time the three of us hung out like this... CALLIOPE: was when i was aggressively third wheeling yoUr prenUptial coUrtship? CALLIOPE: if yoU dont mind, john, i'd rather not rehash that period of oUr lives. CALLIOPE: it was more than a little painfUl for me. JOHN: oh. JOHN: god, jeez, i'm sorry. i didn't mean to-- CALLIOPE: hee hee john i am only pUlling yoUr leg, don't worry. CALLIOPE: if anything i was personally a little thrilled with how things shook oUt in that respect. CALLIOPE: imagine, if yoU will, a yoUng cherUb raised in solitUde, whose only solace was the convolUted and tUmUltUoUs romantic schemata she projected onto her only friends from another Universe. CALLIOPE: and then fUrther imagine that this yoUng cherUb, throUgh varioUs even *more* convolUted contrivances, ended Up in the company of those selfsafe friends as an eqUal participant in their sphere of social discoUrse! CALLIOPE: it is a joy the like of which yoU possibly cannot fathom. u_u

Reinforcing that things turning out this way was in fact the FANTASY that Calliope was writing over in the Canon timeline.  Just, heavily, HEAVILY implied that the Candy timeline is -- or at least originated as -- Calliope’s fanfiction as a Muse of Space, and its competition for audience interest with canon is the essential conflict between alt!Calliope and Dirk (or Dirk and Andrew Hussie).

CALLIOPE: so to pUt it simply, getting to experience sUch emotional drama myself was an impossibly enriching experience. CALLIOPE: possibly a first for my species! CALLIOPE: it's actUally qUite interesting, if yoU ROXY: *nudge* CALLIOPE: oh, right. yes. i'm getting a little carried away, haha. CALLIOPE: argh, i'm sorry, this is not how i planned to begin this vital conversation.

Vital conversation?  What sorta truth-bombs are coming?

CALLIOPE: but to sUmmarise, what i was trying to say is: CALLIOPE: don't beat yourself Up aboUt it john. CALLIOPE: besides, hUman divorces are even more fascinating than i had ever imagined, and being able to witness yoUrs in motion was an honoUr. CALLIOPE: so i consider Us aboUt even at this point. JOHN: hahaha!!! JOHN: okay, well that's good to know! CALLIOPE: ^u^

Holy SHIT that was savage!  And we’ll NEVER know whether or not she really intended it so savagely, either.~

JOHN: so um... JOHN: i hear that there's this big secret thing you wanna tell me about? CALLIOPE: oh right, yes of course! CALLIOPE: let me jUst say first of all how thrilled i am that yoU're on board. CALLIOPE: i wasn't sUre if yoUr natUral inclinations woUld have preclUded yoUr coming to such a place as this, and yet here yoU are. CALLIOPE: this whole endeavoUr will be *so* mUch easier with yoUr help.

Uh oh.

Hopefully babies aren’t involved.

JOHN: oh! well, shucks. JOHN: not really sure what that means but i'm just glad to be of use somewhere, haha. JOHN: which, speaking of somewhere, CALLIOPE: ah right, right. yoU're probably a little cUrioUs as to where the dickens we are. CALLIOPE: how much do yoU know aboUt black holes? JOHN: um... like, the big space things? CALLIOPE: they aren't always big actUally, and in fact their relative smallness is practically their defining qUality. JOHN: oh. CALLIOPE: bUt okay i think we are on the same page. CALLIOPE: so, what if i told yoU that we are inside of a black hole right now.

Oh dear, we’re getting into the canon/noncanon divide?

JOHN: um... JOHN: like, HERE? JOHN: we just transportalized into a black hole? CALLIOPE: no, i mean, what if oUr whole WORLD was inside a black hole. JOHN: ok.

Yeah, that’s gonna be John’s reaction.  “ok.”  Pretty much inevitable.

CALLIOPE: earth c, or at least oUr version of it, has, from the moment we crossed the victory threshold, been inside a black hole. JOHN: ok. CALLIOPE: and not just any black hole, bUt the very black hole in which the green sUn Ultimately met its demise, allowing oUr victory in the first instance! JOHN: huh! ROXY: ("huh!") ROXY: (rofl my fucking ao egbert) JOHN: (shhhh!)

And Roxy enjoys his non-reaction reactions as much as we do, hehe.

CALLIOPE: bUt, paradoxically, the critical moment which determined its capture within the black hole happened *after* that point. CALLIOPE: i refer of coUrse to yoUr decision not to retUrn to the mediUm and fight my brother. JOHN: wait, wait. JOHN: you mean, the meat and candy thing? JOHN: oh my god. JOHN: you mean i actually DID make a mistake that day. CALLIOPE: well, that's not exactly what that-- JOHN: ugh, i fucking KNEW it! JOHN: i'm so sorry. JOHN: i'm so sorry that i put the earth inside a black hole everyone. ): ROXY: john ROXY: listen ROXY: u have got to get out of this mindset i am begging you JOHN: ):

Yeah shake him out of this shit.

ROXY: your choice literally didnt matter ROXY: the whole thing was symbolic in the first place ROXY: literally symbolic in the case of the picnic i mean come on ROXY: it was just some steak and a plate of candy suckers JOHN: oh. CALLIOPE: i mean, i wouldn't go so far as to say that the meal we shared was unimportant, given the sacred significance of the two options i presented. CALLIOPE: but yes, yoUr choice of snack was infinitely less important than the choice which it presaged. CALLIOPE: and even then, calling it a choice woUld be sorely misleading. CALLIOPE: think of it like a coin flip. CALLIOPE: the series of events that led to Us being trapped beyond the event horizon of an Ubermassive black hole could be considered "tails", while the events which would have occUrred otherwise could be considered "heads". CALLIOPE: since both were possible, and paradox space is the way it is, they actUally both happened. and we jUst "happened" (hee hee) to get tails instead of heads. JOHN: you mean we ended up with the bad possibility. CALLIOPE: not at all! since both possibilities depend on one another's existence, it really doesn't make sense to call them "right" or "wrong". they both just "are". JOHN: o...kay... CALLIOPE: u_u

Yeah, it’s going to take a bit more than that to convince him he didn’t make the “wrong decision”.

CALLIOPE: i realise that this may be a lot to process. CALLIOPE: it's easy to forget that this wasn't obvioUs to everyone from the beginning. CALLIOPE: anyway, the reason i went on this tangent in the first place was to explain that the space we are standing in right now has a special significance, in that it is the location which corresponds to the black hole's singUlarity. JOHN: oh, wow. JOHN: um. JOHN: ok so, sorry if this is a dumb question to ask suddenly, but what does being inside of a black hole actually... mean for us? JOHN: is that bad? JOHN: is it like in movie, um, JOHN: shoot. JOHN: roxy what was that matthew mcconaughey movie from your earth that we watched? ROXY: u mean interstellar JOHN: RIGHT. JOHN: the one with the organ. JOHN: man. i cried at that movie so much. ROXY: lol u can say that again ROXY: iirc at least part of y u got so weepy was the fact that u couldnt believe a version of earth existed where ppl got 2 watch more mcconaughey films than you JOHN: listen. JOHN: i simply don't think you all appreciated the gift you were given. CALLIOPE: i don't believe i'm familiar with this particular film ^u^;; ROXY: oh dont worry cal you didnt miss much JOHN: (gasp)

This is all gold

ROXY: but the important point is that no its not really an interstellar type situation here egbert ROXY: ur not gonna enter a weird time vortex and change the trajectory of a little girls life with the power of love JOHN: aw.

Dammit, now we have to be on the lookout for that possibility.  Or it did sort of already happen more than once to John.  ...Whatever.

CALLIOPE: to go back to your original question, john. CALLIOPE: it's not strictly speaking "bad" for Us to be inside of a black hole, mUch thoUgh that contradicts most of what anyone knows about them. CALLIOPE: of coUrse, if we had fallen into it, that woUld be a whole other kettle of fish. CALLIOPE: the tidal forces woUld have stretched Us all into spaghetti and then ripped us apart! CALLIOPE: bUt the natUre of oUr arrival was more akin to simply "being" here, sUddenly. one moment we were not, and the next moment we were, and somehow always had been. CALLIOPE: in everyday, practical terms, being inside of a black hole has very little bearing on Us. CALLIOPE: i mean, the natUre of space and time is a little finicky in here, bUt for the most part it doesn't seem to be anything too oUt of the ordinary. CALLIOPE: bUt beyond that, it means that we are sealed away from the rest of existence. CALLIOPE: oUr sphere of inflUence is limited to the sphere of the black hole's bounding horizon. CALLIOPE: as far as everyone else is concerned, we might as well not even exist! JOHN: is there no way we could let anyone know that we're in here...? CALLIOPE: almost certainly not!

No?  So this doesn’t have to do with the divide?

CALLIOPE: there are very few ways for anything to escape the kind of predicament that we are in right now. one of them is to be an all-powerfUl being with control over the very fabric of space, with the energy of two Universes at yoUr disposal. CALLIOPE: in which case, escape woUld become rather trivial, if a little Unscientific. JOHN: ok. i am going to assume that we can't just do that. CALLIOPE: yoU've hit the nail on the head, UnfortUnately. U_U CALLIOPE: the method i described was the one employed by my alternate self, who yoU may recall crashed through the event horizon in the body that once belonged to jade harley. CALLIOPE: she departed through a pUnctUre she created in the black hole's surface shortly after consUming my brother, a deed which provided her with the necessary "oomph", and which was frankly rather breathtaking to watch. =u= CALLIOPE: bUt Upon her departUre, the rift closed for good. as far as i can see, there's simply no way for Us to commUnicate with the world oUtside the black hole.

What the heck?  Calliope SAW all this?  Is this her Muse powers at work, letting her observe these things, or was she there?  And John certainly did NOT see ANY of what Calliope just said happen.

CALLIOPE: i woUld certainly be very sUrprised to find oUt that anyone had managed sUch a thing!

So we’re going to find that out if we haven’t already.  Maybe something to do with the way Vrissy just conks out narcoleptically?

JOHN: ...right. JOHN: so... let me just get this straight. JOHN: knowing that we're inside of a black hole... does that actually change anything? JOHN: like, can't we just go on living like normal? CALLIOPE: oh absolUtely not. CALLIOPE: i don't know if yoU've noticed john bUt this world is on the brink of a total cataclysm. JOHN: oh.

Um, what?

CALLIOPE: oUr exclUsion from the overarching coUrse of events which governs all reality means that oUr existence here is liable to dramatic and violent Upheaval. CALLIOPE: to pUt it another way, becaUse nothing in here "matters", we are likely to be sUbjected to things which are a bit bats in the belfry, for no reason other than it's totally insignificant to the wider canon of reality. CALLIOPE: and mUch thoUgh i am personally titillated by some of the conseqUences of this predicament, it is a degrading way for Us to live. u_u JOHN: that's... certainly one way to put it, yeah...

No plot-armor for your entire timeline, I guess, yep.  Outside of canon, we can imagine and write about ANYTHING happening to the characters, or just drop their existence entirely, much like a doomed offshoot timeline.  It’s a plot stability that depended heavily on the threat of Lord English and being trapped in a story, and without it things are bound to see a BIT chaotic (or “degrading” if you view it as subjected to the whims of fanfic writers, certainly).

CALLIOPE: at first, i believed that this was simply necessary. Us playing tails to oUr coUnterparts' heads, the black to their white, and so forth. CALLIOPE: bUt over the years i have come to the conclUsion that this is simply not kosher. ROXY: its total bs is what it is CALLIOPE: right, yes. CALLIOPE: a steaming pile of bUllshite. CALLIOPE: and so we have decided that something needs to be done aboUt it.

Ah fuck.  You’re going to regulate non-canon?  “Canonize” it?  Is the fact that you eventually succeed at whatever it is you’re trying to do part of why we have the story presented to us in this bifurcated structure?

ROXY: this is finally where u come in jegbert ROXY: we gots quests for yous CALLIOPE: hee hee, yes. CALLIOPE: or *a* quest, to be specific. JOHN: oh boy! ROXY: (this fkin nerd i s2g)

Roxy and Calliope setting him on this quest as a Rogue of Void and a Muse of Space feels fitting.

JOHN: i'm not sure how i can go about freeing us from a hellish space prison, but i'm up for giving it a try i guess? JOHN: i have... literally nothing better to be doing at this point. except for maybe hanging out with harry anderson. ROXY: nice save lol

YEAH WE’RE STILL GLOSSING OVER HOW YOU LEFT HIM UNPROTECTED, JERK

ROXY: but u dont need to worry abt busting us outta space jail tbh ROXY: thats not ur problem to fix JOHN: oh. JOHN: i'm... not sure i follow, then. ROXY: i mean yeah ur gonna obvs facilitate it in a sense ROXY: but only by going and busting the person who can actually help us outta normal earth jail CALLIOPE: we need yoU to free vriska from the clUtches of oUr misgUided friend jane, and bring her here, to the singUlarity. ROXY: weve been calling it the plot point CALLIOPE: yes, the plot point is a key part of oUr plan. CALLIOPE: as far as we have been able to sUrmise, the only remaining method for escaping oUr grim confinement depends on leveraging the UniqUe properties of this location to create an event of sUch catalcysmic proportions that it simply cannot be contained within the black hole any more. CALLIOPE: something SO dramatic, so hyper-relevant, that it becomes ontologically impossible for anyone to ignore it. CALLIOPE: for that, we need an individUal of sUfficient narrative cloUt, so to speak. CALLIOPE: and to liberate her, who better than the embodiment of the aspect of freedom itself? CALLIOPE: ... CALLIOPE: phew. okay, i'm finished. CALLIOPE: CALLIOPE: sorry, that took longer than i expected to go throUgh.

..............................

OOooooh, kay.

Whatever this is, it’s going to be really weird and PROBABLY infuriating and/or shippy, and I’m probably not going to like it.  Plus it seems like it’s some sort of inverse belated canonization of some other black-hole-rescue theories I went on about at some point.  Although, related to that link, “aspect of freedom” if anyone wasn’t paying attention!  That’s a (sorta-)canon mention of the purpose of it!

They’re going to attention-wh-- attention-hog themselves out of the black hole so that they’re “considered canon” too, or close enough.  Huh.

ROXY: what r u talking about cals that was great ROXY: i could listen 2 u plotsplain for years CALLIOPE: oh you >u< ROXY: fyi this was why i wanted u to get a move on eggbread ROXY: so callie could have more time 2 infodump ROXY: thats love bitchhhhhh JOHN: hahaha. JOHN: ok, well, i think i understood all that?

Love with who? Callie, John, both?

In reality, John isn’t sure what most of this means. But on balance, it feels okay? He’s gone back and forth about a hundred times in the last week about where his place in everything is, so he might as well ride this out. Plus, the last time a Lalonde kind of told him to do something, he thinks that he chose not to, and look where that got him. And it’s not like he has other plans. He may as well do this! It’s at least going to get him involved in things again, if nothing else. He turns to go, and then hears a sound. It’s the sound of feet and knocking on doors, echoed through stone and digital static.

Oh shit.  Is Andrew trapped behind some fourth walls behind the curtains.

> (==>)

Oh RIGHT also that DEVICE is where they want to bring Vriska.  Are they going to overturn part of canon itself with a super-retcon thus making this timeline unbelievably relevant or--?  Maybe make all the PESTERQUESTS canon or something?!  I don’t know.  Maybe they’re INTENTIONALLY starting the game like Vriska wanted to??????

Guh, this is something so big that I don’t WANT to theorize about it, do I.

JOHN: did you hear that? ROXY: wha ROXY: oh yeah uh ROXY: i may have messaged rose and kan and jade to check on them too ROXY: so its prob onea them showin up ROXY: they don’t need to know bout all this tho ROXY: we got time to chat with them b4 u go get vriska

No, even if it’s a knock at the somehow-top-level-house-even-under-buried-- oh, right, maybe it’s covering in part a monitoring system that looks up there.  But still, part of that sound was DOUBTLESS these two hiding something, all standing in front of the curtain like that.

JOHN: i’ll go stall em. ROXY: thx babe ROXY: oh is it 2 soon for that joke or JOHN: no, weirdly enough, that one’s fine. ROXY: oh good ok see u up there soon!

How is calling your significant other “babe” not cool REGARDLESS of gender?!  Like wasn’t that always cool? --Oh wait is it because they’re not together or... but... guh, I don’t know.

Anyway, see y’all after the holidays at least.

[lillupon]

So, I've got a very long rant/opinion here and Idk really know how to say this without coming off kinda bad but I'm gonna say it anyways. I agree with the fact that the seventeen tag has been kinda dry lately on most fanfic places, but it's really only in the smut area. It's the sane way with other groups too I feel like. All of the nice little innocent tags are boomin to this day and thats completely fine. I think the smut tag is dry tho bc lately I feel like a few social issues (like sexualizing people and disrespecting them and their identity) have crossed over into kpop and have been ?blown out of proportion? Lately there's been a rampage of people who like to say that writing smut about someone is disgusting and is dehumanizing because people want to assume that it would make the idols uncomfortable which could equate to some morality issues on how you are reducing someone only to their body without their consent and a bunch of stuff like that. It kind of pisses me off bc this is fiction. About grown adults. Clamping down on horny people who simp over hot asian men isn't going to solve the issues we face in real life. I think a shit ton is wrong with the world we currently live in, and deciding to come after something that isn't even real bothers me. Like what does that actually accomplish. But yeah, I think thats a reason why smut has been dying down. I mean, on youtube almost every video about unpopular opinions, or things they dont like about kpop will include something about shipping idols in fanfics. And then everyone in the comment section will talk about how its all fine and dandy in moderation, but once people start writing smut it's crossing the idols personal boundaries. It's something I've been seeing a lot more often and I think people who are interested in writing smut are being turned away from it bc we've gotten to a point where people are being called disgusting for having fantasies.

Hi Anon, thank you for sending in this Ask. 

I want to preface this by saying: when I write or talk about Mingyu and Wonwoo fucking on my blog, it is a fantasy. I am not speculating about what the real Mingyu and Wonwoo might be like in bed. I am imagining the versions of Mingyu and Wonwoo that I have created in my head, that exist only in my stories. None of it is real. I understand that this can be a blurry boundary for some people. But for me, the separation between fantasy and reality is well-defined. Now, on to your Ask!

You’ve hit the nail on the head with this one. You’ve also touched on many of the issues I have been struggling with myself as of late. It’s difficult to argue about morals since everyone has a different set of values, as well as different comfort levels. Some people think real person fiction (RPF) is a gross invasion of privacy. Others are fine with it. And others don’t care one way or another. There is no single answer; I can only offer my answer. Which means, of course, people are welcome to disagree with it, or parts of it. 

In this essay (LOL But forreal: this is an essay), I will be sharing my experience in the k-pop fanfic community from 2014 to present, the etiquette I personally abide by as a reader and writer of RPF, as well as my stance on RPF in general.

I started reading and posting fanfics back in 2014/2015 on a website called AsianFanfics (AFF). Obviously, no one on that site had a problem with RPF, since AFF is a platform made specifically for sharing stories about Asian celebrities. For many years, I read and enjoyed RPF with zero guilt. I scribbled away by myself in my own corner of fandom and curated my own content. I didn’t interact much with other fans, readers, or writers. I didn’t have a Twitter, and I only used tumblr to reblog memes. As a result, I’ve been able to avoid a lot of anti-shipping discourse, as well as purity and cancel culture. I had no idea there were so many negative opinions about RPF. It wasn’t until I became active on the subreddit r/Fanfiction last year that I learned about all the discourse surrounding RPF. 

This newfound ‘awareness’ does make me feel guilty at times—but only because after mulling this over, I still don’t think this is something to feel guilty about.

Here’s what I remember, first and foremost, when I create and consume RPF: fanfics and my favourite ships are fictional, and fiction is fantasy. This is basic etiquette when it comes to RPF, and most people in the k-pop fandom understand this. Delusional fans exist, of course, but they are not representative of the entire k-pop community. 

Another point of etiquette is to keep fanfics within fandom spaces. I would never push my fics into celebrities’ faces, or go around claiming that my fanfics are accurate representations of a k-idol’s life or personality, in any way, shape, or form. I would also discourage directing ship-related questions to official accounts, or bringing them up during fansigns or other face-to-face interactions; I believe that in these instances, shipping does have the potential to strain real-life relationships.

So with basic etiquette out of the way, let me share my approach to RPF in general.

As much as we like to think we know our favourite celebrities, we really don’t. All we see is their public persona. And this public persona is intentionally controlled, managed, and curated by a team of people: directors, tabloids, editors, makeup artists, publicists, etc. How “real” are these celebrities? We are so distanced from them that they may as well be fictional.

I draw from the public persona that idols project, and I work them into my own writing. But at the end of the day, these personalities are my own interpretation. My interpretation is probably nothing like an idol’s actual personality. I just use the “public persona/character” that idols portray as inspiration for my own stories, which are set in wildly different universes.

More than anything, I think of k-pop idols as “actors” in my fic. You know how when you write an original novel, you scroll through Google images, looking for the perfect person to portray your original character? RPF is literally that, except you might build upon pre-existing dynamics and personalities.

When it comes to explicit fanfiction, two main concerns are prevalent: one of consent, and one of sexualisation.

If we argue against explicit RPF due to lack of consent, we should be willing to apply the same lens to all explicit works. How do we know that the creator of a movie, book, series, etc., is okay with us using their characters in our stories, explicit or not? We don’t. Perhaps some creators encourage fanfiction, but don’t want their lovingly crafted characters engaging in sexual acts or experiencing trauma. We just don’t know. I feel this line is even more blurred when we talk about characters from movies or TV series.

Let’s take Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes, as portrayed by Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan, from the Captain America movies as an example. I am willing to bet that when people consume and create explicit fanfiction about Steve and Bucky, they are imagining Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan in their heads. I doubt many people are imagining the 2D cartoon versions of Steve and Bucky, even though they’re technically the exact same characters. Why? Well, it could be because movies are more readily and easily consumed than comics, and so people are unfamiliar with comic book Steve and Bucky. But it might also be because fans find Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan attractive. Is this really any different from RPF, where fic authors make up everything about a celebrity’s life?  

When readers and writers of fanfic talk about how hot Steve Rogers or Bucky Barnes is, those comments are about Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan’s bodies. When reading explicit stories, fans are going to picture Chris and Sebastian’s bodies in their head, doing sexual things. Can we say, “Well, it’s not really you, Chris/Sebastian”, when in a way, it is?

The reality is, people are going to thirst over celebrities, regardless of whether or not explicit fanfiction exists. They’re going to post thirst tweets on Twitter. They’re going to talk to friends and strangers online about how hot [insert celebrity name here] is. They’re going to fantasize about dating and having sex with their favourite celebrity. Or, as it is in my case, they’re going to make up stories in their heads about their favourite idols dating and banging each other. People are going to do all of this without ‘getting consent’ from the celebrity. Cracking down upon and shaming writers of RPF isn’t going to change any of that.

To be honest, I’m not sure why people think it is disgusting to imagine sexual scenarios about real people. It is okay and normal to have these kinds of fantasies. I suppose the alternative is to fantasise about having sex with cartoon characters instead? It’s a very binary way of thinking to say that if you imagine/write real people in explicit scenarios, you are immediately sexualising, dehumanising, or objectifying them. There is more to dehumanisation than writing smut about our favourite celebrities. For one thing, you can love someone and appreciate all parts of them, and still want to fuck their brains out. And generally, fanfics come from a place of love—love that is not only sexual in nature.

Is it the sharing aspect inherent to fanfiction? The possibility that a celebrity might stumble upon explicit works about them? The chances are very low, I think, of the k-pop idols I enjoy writing about coming across my English fics. But I also believe in curating your own content, and that applies to celebrities too. Perhaps a celebrity should not go searching for fanfics about themselves. And of course, people should not show celebrities their fanfics, unless invited.

Another argument I hear against (explicit) RPF is, “How would you feel if someone wrote fanfiction about you?” First off, I don’t like this argument because there’s a difference between someone who decides to be a public figure versus someone who decides to remain a regular private citizen. Celebrities should and do know what they’re getting into when they choose their occupation. (This is not to say, “They are celebrities; sexualise them all you want because that’s what they signed up for.” Here, I am only acknowledging that people might have sexual fantasies about celebrities they are attracted to. Presumably, celebrities are cognizant of this.)  

If someone (whose existence I am not even aware of, mind you) decides they want to write explicit fanfiction of me in some tiny corner of the Internet, I wouldn’t care so long as: (1) they don’t shove it into my face, and (2) they don’t harass me and ask invasive questions about my personal life and relationships. It’s not hurting me or negatively affecting my life, so it wouldn’t even register as a blip on my radar. When fanfiction remains within its appropriate spaces, it is largely harmless. 

Now, if a k-pop idol were to ask their fans to stop writing fanfiction about them, would I? Yes, I would. However, I can’t imagine that happening. Judging by the number of ‘sexy’ concepts, fanservice moments, and variety shows such as ‘We Got Married’, I am certain that k-pop idols realise they are the stars of many fantasies—some of which are explicit in nature. Considering the prevalence of shipping in the k-pop industry, I would argue that shipping is subtly encouraged.

It’s sad that so many talented writers are shamed out of fandom, or feel that k-pop cannot be the medium through which they tell their stories, or explore their sexuality, or cope with trauma, or simply have fun. Professional works and Hollywood love their RPF—readers and writers of fanfics should be able to, as well. 

As you said Anon, “clamping down on horny people who simp over hot asian men isn't going to solve the issues we face in real life” (this is a lovely sentence, by the way). The kind of person who dehumanises another and reduces them to a sexual object will do so some other way, if not via fanfiction. I don’t think the issue of fetishisation can be fixed simply by telling people not to write explicit RPF. In my experience, people who read and write RPF are more respectful and thoughtful about these things than the general public. We’ve all seen the general public say highly sexual things about celebrities in the media and to their faces, or tag celebrities in their thirst tweets. Are these things less invasive than fanfiction? Personally, I don’t think so. And in my opinion, there are more pressing and damaging issues in stan culture than fanfic.

In conclusion, I don’t think there is anything wrong with creating and consuming RPF, both explicit and non-explicit so long as we:

Remember we are writing fiction

Keep RPF within its appropriate space, and

Do not harass celebrities about their personal lives and relationships

RPF is not for everyone. There may be people who enjoy RPF, but draw the line at explicit stories. This is fine. Everyone has their own personal preferences. What is not fine, however, is attacking people for creating things you don’t like. I’m not sure what kind of moral crusade people are on and what they hope to achieve by shaming writers of RPF, explicit or otherwise. Ultimately, fic authors are writing a fantasy. It’s not real; no one is being hurt. I think it’s important for people to curate their own content, and AO3 makes it very easy to filter out explicit works and unwanted tags. 

Maybe this is me trying to justify my own participation in explicit RPF—I don’t know. What I do know is that I love k-pop, and fandom is an important part of my media and entertainment experience. I adore the k-pop idols I write about, and I just want to imagine them being happy and getting lots of love and orgasms. Let a bitch be horny, goddamn… 

Some bonus fun facts!

At the time I am writing this, on AO3:

26.2% of Stray Kids fanfics are rated M or E

26.3% of Seventeen fanfics are rated M or E

29.0% of Merlin fanfics are rated M or E

34.9% of Captain America (Movies) fanfics are rated M or E

40.1% of BTS fanfics are rated M or E ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Coincidentally, I saw this post on Reddit this morning: Can we have a RPF positivity post?

[hcllenic]

(DOUGLAS BOOTH, CIS MALE) - Have you seen APOLLO DEMETRIUS BLACKTHORN?  APOLLO is in HIS SENIOR year. The HISTORY MAJOR is 23 years old & is  a SCORPIO. People say HE is CREATIVE, INDEPENDENT, CALLOUS and CYNICAL.  Rumors say they’re a member of CALLOWAY. I heard from the gossip blog  that HE IS NOT HIS FATHER’S BIOLOGICAL SON.

content warnings for death, drug use ?? i think thats it

he’s cupid’s brother

from a very wealthy family that rose to prominence around 1921, taking power in a variety of places. kind of like the kennedys. likely cursed. apollo claims he doesn’t believe in said curse, but the truth is more that he doesn’t want to believe in the curse.

moves from highs to lows really quickly – one week he’s extremely extroverted and ready to fight god and the next he’s alone in his dorm ignoring a paper in the name of wondering if he actually has an identity beneath the one that seems to just have been formed to get his family’s attention / approval / warmth

is honestly very defensive – i don’t mean in arguments, but rather when it comes to relationships. he’s the first one to cut and run because he tends to anticipate the fall before it happens. he tells himself he doesn’t care about his siblings because he’s honestly convinced they would sell his soul to satan for one corn chip.

nothing is eternal and he really knows this – he’s constantly waiting for death to come ‘round the corner. or something else, equally dramatic.

bit of a morbid sense of humour that not everyone appreciates.

almost has this idea that the rest of his siblings are gonna have to die if he wants to end up happy and successful which he KNOWS is absolutely wrong and not productive at all but like.... that shitty luck <3

grew up, for the most part, at his parent’s estate in romania but he really liked to travel and would do so often, after he turned sixteen

he thought he’d found a loophole around the curse / bad luck / whatever u wanna call it by simply not dating but this girl he was like FULLY in love w died in a hunting accident when he was fourteen over summer break (they’d met at boarding school) and he was like. hm. fuck. could be unrelated but.... hm.

so now if he has feelings for someone he just panics. he figured out he was bi and doesn’t really have that much internalized homophobia but he DOES have internalized cursephobia. if he thinks he’s into someone regardless of their gender he’ll ghost them or start a fight w them intentionally or start deliberately trying to notice their flaws

found out he wasn’t his father’s son bc he found a letter his mom wrote to his actual father which was never sent

he burned the letter because, at the time, he was terrified of anyone else finding out. he’s pretty sure it was the only evidence.

SUCH a hedonist. he will do whatever he thinks is the most entertaining until a deadline shows up at which point it’s time for apollo to take a ridiculous amount of adderall and finish a ten page paper in three hours. they’re often riddled with spelling mistakes but they have made some good points. he HATES making up his works cited tho its like pulling teeth w him

relatively responsible driver by day but smth about the night makes him REALLY wanna speed. prone to road... exasperation?? its not rage idk

he has like... contained anger issues like he’s never directed them at anyone he just wanders off to have a fit and then returns. hnstly pretty sure he works out to let off that steam

he’s kind of intelligent but he’s also such a fucking idiot. he had no idea how to cook / do laundry / do ANY of that at all until he was alone at university and, after a week of literally just buying new clothes instead of washing the ones he owned, finally googled how to use a washing machine

absolutely not a monogamist and you should not trust him <3 that said i feel like he’s not secretive about that one particular aspect of his personality like he’ll let people know that if they want a relationship he’s not the person to be approaching which tbqh is probably there to mask how deeply he actually would love to be in a fully monogamous and faithful relationship lol he’s a secret romantic just like... doesn’t wanna get hurt. and he CLAIMS he doesn’t believe in the family curse but that’s kind of bullshit. he does. a potential simp pretending he does not have the capacity to simp

can be awful at taking advice. he’ll listen to it and understand it but he’ll disregard it anyway

very bad at being optimistic. he does feel a bit cursed, again, even if he claims he doesn’t believe in said curse. the blackthorn bad luck always feels like its nipping at his heels.

he can be sooooo dramatic. he’s obnoxious <3

but he’s also like..... relatively independent? he doesn’t like asking for help and he feels like leaning on people too heavily is a shortcoming on his part so he just. will not.

really good at group projects like for some reason he feels too guilty about not actually giving them his all and will actually put effort in whereas when it comes to his own individual projects he’ll just say fuck it (unless he’s genuinely interested)

studying history w an economics minor because he figured he should go for something more or less related to capitalism to soften the blow of running to academia

a bit sensitive about the fact that he’s not actually related to his father by blood. it makes him think about all the conflicts he’d ever had with his father post finding out about his real parentage and like... when he thinks about all of that i think he realizes that his family’s love may very well be entirely conditional and he’s afraid of that. which might be why it almost seems, smtms, like he is actively trying to push them away because he thinks if he leaves first its Fine :)

rlly likes creative ventures he just LOVES working w his hands its so soothing to him. will often be in the pottery studio after dark. he can play piano

wanted connections:

close friends (or as close as he can get) – he seems a little detached and there are def moments where he just vanishes without a trace for a week but they seem to be okay with this and he loves them for it. never feels suffocated by them at all. is occasionally afraid his luck will negatively impact them but so far, so good.

they hooked up a few times then he ghosted them and now its AWKWARD

enemies. please !!!! its unrealistic that he wld be able to exist without ppl hating him

and maybe enemies to friends / enemies to lovers tropes can happen like... i love that.

they’ve known each other for a long time and neither of them trust the other but they have spent many nights together and would probably call each other friends if asked.

they’re similarly chaotic / detached / miserable and sometimes they lean heavily on each other because they don’t really have anyone else who gets it.

they committed a crime together once

they’re attracted to each other but he goes out of his way to avoid them bc he’s like . that seems like the WORST idea. it rlly seems like he actively hates them

classmates

and they were roommates (oh my god they were roommates)

someone he literally just argues with all the time. like thats the whole relationship

someone as obsessive as him who is willing to accompany him down history or science or whatever related rabbit holes and procrastinate with him. he wld die for them <3

[kaffeinic]

21 Questions Tag

Answer twenty-one questions and tag twenty-one people.

Tagged By: @mintymiknow

~

Name: Julianne (Technically, it’s Juliana, but most people don’t say it correctly, so I opt for Julianne.)

Nickname: So many, smh.

Jules

Julie

J.

Grace (It’s a common nickname for me in my household, but I might strangle anyone else who calls me by it.)

Julia (Some strangers have called me Julia, but I don’t really like it.)

JuJu (I have two very young siblings, and this is what they could pronounce - somewhat - while they were babies.)

Gender: Female

Star Sign: Taurus (I don’t know why I dislike this so much, but I do. Maybe it has to do with the bull association.)

Current Time: When I started, it’s was about four in the morning, but now it’s 7:41pm.

Favourite Artist(s): Another long list lol.

Hilary Hahn

Sasha Sloan

Marianas Trench

Dean

Shaun

Stray Kids

Mamamoo

Rousseau

Many more, but I’ll cut myself off there.

Favourite Song: An impossible question for me, but I’ve been listening to a lot of recordings of Halvorsen pieces recently.

Song Stuck in Your Head: Dancing With Your Ghost by Sasha Sloan // Hip by Mamamoo // Dommage by Bigflo & Oli (Specifically the cover by Lorelen.)

Last Movie You Saw: I vaguely remember rewatching The Hunchback of Notre Dame with my sister this week, but I could be wrong. It’s been a really long week. 😂

Last Thing You Googled: story of the hour kate chopin (It’s a great story. Very thought-provoking.)

Other Blogs:

Main: @assainfj

Writing/Books/Music... A lot of random stuff. I’m still building it.: @logastellic

Where I test designs for my blogs and my friends’ blogs: @blog-designs (I haven’t posted anything, so Tumblr won’t let me tag it properly.)

Do you get asks?: Yeah, pretty often. Some of them are requests, and some are just general questions or chatty comments. I tend to get much more when I’ve been really active.

Reason for your URL:

Main: (@/assainfj) Assai is a musical term, and I’ve always been really into music, whether it be singing, playing instruments, producing, or just listening to it day to day. INFJ is my MBTI personality type, which has been pretty accurate about who I am and what I’m like/what I believe in, so I strongly identify with it. In essence, I squished together assai and INFJ to get assainfj.

K-Pop Side Blog: (@/kaffeinic) K-Pop, like many other forms of music, often gives me bursts of energy throughout the day, so I thought of calling the blog caffeinic, but that was already taken. I then chose to change the ‘c’ to a ‘k’ for ‘k-pop,’ which wasn’t taken, and ran with it.

Random Interests Side Blog: (@/logastellic) I just found a pretty word that seemed to fit what I wanted to do at the time. Logastellus means, ‘A person whose love of words is greater than their knowledge of words.’ That was taken, so I did my best to turn it into an adjective, which isn’t a word, but I liked it and kept it.

Following: Lol not a whole lot of people, if I’m honest. I don’t typically follow people unless I know them well and/or they follow this blog or my main; It’s just the way I keep my dashboard clean. I tried to write a lil blurb for each person, but I’m not super close to everyone on this list.

@ace-marvel-chick - Good friend of mine who helped a lot with kaffeinic at the start.

@ace-on-the-case - One of the very first people to follow me on Tumblr. We haven’t spoken much, but I love what they reblog.

@akiime

@aquietkerfuffle - She has really supported me in my writing, especially when I was writing the Caffeinic series.

@ayeteaz - Side blog of one of my best friends. Things are closed at the moment, but I recommend her ships!

@bangchansmiles - We haven’t spoken a lot, but they’re so sweet and kind~

@bforbangchan

@chansdimple - Also haven’t spoken to them much, but I have a lot of respect.

@doubleknot42 - I do believe the first time I spoke to her(?) I was asking how to add links to my Tumblr bio lol. Great author, and kind friend.

@hoshithehamster - Ayeteaz main account.

@invisibleslytherin - I’ve chatted with her quite a bit about Shakespeare. For a brief period of time, she sent me daily shakespeare memes.

@kpopchangedme - Amazing author, especially if you’re a hard stan. I’m not much of a hard stan myself, but the writing and plots are awesome! She’s definitely a great chatting partner as well. Very kind. 😊

@kpurereactions - A blog run by many lovely ladies. I vaguely remember trying to become an admin a long time ago, but by the time they had gotten back to me, I had started my own writing blog. Go check out their blog!

@lisori - Another kind person whom I met in the beginning of kaffeinic. 💕

@loser-tozierr

@noona-has-a-boyfriend - A friend I grew closer to while proofreading and enjoying her work. I recommend her stories. 😃

@princelyhwang

@sideeffectsoflovingchan - I got one of my favourite writing prompts from her(?)! Very kind, and runs a cool blog.

@sparkling-studio-ghibli-water

@sshiromon

@strayyeets

@thats-a-big-yikes - We became friends when I used their user for my ‘Stray Kids as Tumblr Usernames’ post.

@vanvayne-blog - Awesome artist, but I don’t think they’ve been active much recently.

@woo-for-woojin - Another one of my closest Tumblr buddies. She’s a queen and she knows it. 💕

@wxnterlee - One of the first people to follow kaffeinic. Very kind, and always has been super supportive of my blog.

Average Amount of Sleep: 0-4 hours of sleep. It’s bad, I know.

Lucky Number: 0

Currently Wearing: Ripped jeans, black tank, black hoodie, tan coat, and i recently took off my tan work boots(?). I feel like I haven’t used the correct fashion terms for each item lol.

Dream Job: Anything in surgery or emergency medicine, or something in criminology, possibly forensics, though being an agent would be one of the coolest things I could fathom doing.

Dream Trips:

S. Korea

Australia

France

Belgium

New Zealand

Canada

Brazil

Favourite Food(s):

Dragonfruit

Chicken tacos

Pizza

Orange chicken

White rice (I’m not sure why I enjoy plain white rice so much.)

Pretty much anything spicy

Play any instruments?: Yeah, piano, and I’m trying to learn a bit more guitar. I’ve always wanted to play violin, but I don’t think it’ll ever happen.

~

Tagging: @hoshithehamster • @woo-for-woojin • @bforbangchan • @bangchansmiles • @chansdimple • @doubleknot42 • @kpopchangedme • @kpurereactions (Hopefully each of you will do it.) • @lisori • @princelyhwang • @sideeffectsoflovingchan • @strayyeets • @sshiromon • @thats-a-big-yikes • @wxnterlee

[f4liveblogarchives]

Fantastic Four Vol 1 #187, #188, & #189

Thur Aug 22 2019 [02:04 PM] Bocaj: 187 issues later, still fantastic but not necessarily still four [02:05 PM] Wack'd: Eh, they're still pretty Fourish [02:05 PM] Wack'd: Unless you count Franklin I guess [02:05 PM] Wack'd: Sure, Thundra, Greer, and Impy have been around a lot lately, but Greer insists she's not part of the team and Thundra and Impy don't really play well with others [02:06 PM] maxwellelvis: Also, Impossible Man's been KO'd by an unseen assailant. [02:06 PM] Wack'd: Also true [02:07 PM] Wack'd: Anyway, on the plane ride back from New Salem, the team recaps a little [02:07 PM] Wack'd: Agatha left that place in the hopes that others have her kind would be encouraged to join her, and she blames herself for raising Nicholas badly [02:07 PM] Wack'd: These are, again, the kind of details it might've been nice to have during the actual story so we could wring something out of them [02:08 PM] Bocaj: "Thundra and Impy don't really play well with others" I posit that Johnny and Ben historically haven't always played well with others [02:09 PM] Bocaj: Sometimes a family is that cat woman stray you adopted, the woman from an alternate universe where men are considered the weaker gender until you slammed her universe into another, and that annoying alien [02:09 PM] Bocaj: We'll call him the 'urkel' type [02:09 PM] Wack'd: Let me rephrase that to "are openly contemptuous of others and seem hesitant to do even the bare minimum to lend aid" [02:09 PM] maxwellelvis: Yeah, but in a different way from Impossible Man, who literally nobody except other Popuppians can stand to be around. [02:09 PM] Bocaj: Ok well thats different [02:10 PM] Wack'd: The Four discover Impy, knocked out but apparently unharmed. Sue worries that whoever did this might still be in the Baxter [02:11 PM] Wack'd: We can also add to George Pérez to the long list of comics artists who are bad at drawing children but very good at drawing tiny adults

[02:12 PM] Bocaj: George Pérez can draw a lot of things, in terms of range and also in terms of numerical things on a page but children are black magic that eludes him [02:13 PM] Aleph Null: i relate because children are also black magic that eludes me [02:13 PM] Wack'd: So Johnny flies outside to look in all the windows while Ben decides to go floor by floor. Reed is out out because they made a plan without him and Sue has to heal his fragile ego [02:13 PM] Wack'd: “Without my stretching powers, I'm not really good enough to be anything more than a nursemaid!” [02:13 PM] Bocaj: fuck off reed [02:14 PM] Aleph Null: can we retitle the blog to “fuck off reed” [02:14 PM] Wack'd: This is a nice moment

[02:15 PM] Wack'd: Honestly I like how forgiving everyone is being of Agatha. Not that anyone on this team has room to throw stones [02:16 PM] Wack'd: Oh my god Johnny is also like "man, running off on my own like I always do probably hurt Reed's feelings" [02:16 PM] Wack'd: Anyway Ben runs into KLAW! [02:17 PM] Bocaj: Ulysses Klaue Klaw? [02:17 PM] Wack'd: Whose shtick at this point is still being made of sound and also being able to fire sound monsters at people [02:17 PM] Wack'd: And not, you know, having a claw [02:17 PM] maxwellelvis: His artificial hand is his claw. [02:19 PM] Wack'd: Oh hey it's this guy

[02:19 PM] Bocaj: oh thats a bad look [02:20 PM] maxwellelvis: Actually that's not that guy. That's a different guy. [02:20 PM] Wack'd: Back in #20 he got the ability to alter non-organic matter because he was exposed to an atomic incident [02:20 PM] Wack'd: Since then he's had a couple of appearances in the 70s, one in Two in One and one in Iron Man [02:20 PM] Bocaj: The guy I knew as Molecule Man is a multiversal bomb [02:21 PM] maxwellelvis: Wait, I saw that guy shrivel up and disintegrate when separated from his wand for too long. [02:22 PM] Wack'd: Yes [02:22 PM] Wack'd: This got undone in the Iron Man appearance I mentioned [02:22 PM] maxwellelvis: oh [02:22 PM] Wack'd: Where he also gained the ability to possess people [02:23 PM] Bocaj: There was a shitty Avengers Assemble episode about Son of Molecule Man [02:23 PM] Bocaj: It had a stylistic flashback to EMH [02:23 PM] Wack'd: Given how fucking often these books are like "oh, they killed him, he's gone for real" and then in a completely different book he comes back to life and then he returns to his original book with a long winded explanation... [02:23 PM] Wack'd: I'm not sure why you would've assumed that he was actually dead [02:24 PM] maxwellelvis: Because this time he left behind a body. [02:24 PM] Wack'd: That doesn't mean anything! [02:24 PM] maxwellelvis: Well, a pile of dust in a ragged old Molecule Man costume. [02:24 PM] Wack'd: At the end of his first appearance the Watcher aged him into oblivion [02:26 PM] Wack'd: Agatha filling the role of "lady who tells Reed to suck it the fuck up" now that Medusa's gone

[02:28 PM] Wack'd: Anyway Ben gets turned into glass, Johnny is drowned in midair, Sue is...uh...

[02:28 PM] Wack'd: Sure, that's how that works [02:29 PM] Wack'd: And Reed tries to fire on the two but his gun is turned to helium and he's knocked out [02:30 PM] Wack'd: Okay so uh [02:31 PM] Wack'd: In the aftermath of that Iron Man I mentioned, Klaw found Owen's wand, with Owen's mind trapped inside, and gave it to a guy he met on the street so Owen would possess that guy [02:31 PM] Wack'd: The narrative notes that the guy was a boxer so I should probably also note that the guy was a boxer in case it becomes relevant [02:33 PM] Wack'd: So! The Four are incapacitated! Who cam save them now! [02:33 PM] Wack'd: Why, Impossible Man, of course. Not because he cares about the team, but because he's angry that someone defeated him in combat [02:34 PM] Wack'd: Impy can shapeshift so Molecule Man can't really do much to him [02:34 PM] Wack'd: And Impy removes his ears and makes himself into a non-sound-conductive material so he's immune to Klaw [02:34 PM] Wack'd: And then he kicks their asses [02:35 PM] Wack'd: Owen had been planning on using Reed's psi-amplifier (from that time Ben and Hulk switched brains) to make it so he could keep his ass in this body forever [02:35 PM] Wack'd: But Reed manages to cut the cord mid-process, sapping Owen back into his wand [02:36 PM] Wack'd: And undoing all the damage he caused [02:36 PM] Wack'd: AND THEN REED PICKS UP THE WAND WITH HIS BARE HANDS, LIKE AN IDIOT [02:37 PM] Wack'd: W E L P

[02:38 PM] Bocaj: Basically Lunella becoming Smartest was long overdue because Reed is dumb [02:38 PM] Bocaj: Someone needed to explicitly be smarter than him or else it would be very sad [02:39 PM] Wack'd: Don't think it's escaped my attention that this is our second evil Reed storyline in which Reed isn't actually evil [02:39 PM] Bocaj: Hm [02:40 PM] Bocaj: At least it’s not an evil Sue storyline [02:40 PM] Bocaj: Those are bad in many many ways [02:40 PM] Wack'd: If Gerry Conway's read on the Reed/Sue divorce arc was "if they're going to split up it should be because Reed does something truly ghastly", it seems like Wein's was "people seem to really want to make Reed a jerk, so how do I do that without altering the fact that he's genuinely a nice person" [02:42 PM] Wack'd: I loathed Conway's take, but Wein's is even worse because it denies the idea that Reed has anything to be culpable for. It seems like people have been shilling him constantly recently--Sue noticing Counter-Reed is unaffectionate to spot the ruse, Ben assuming Counter-Reed is obsessively watching the Negative Zone because he wants to save his counterpart, Counter-Reed immediately becoming a selfless paragon when his headache wears off [02:43 PM] Wack'd: And this issue, too, with everyone but Agatha assuming Reed is entitled to authority and feeling bad for hurting his feelings by doing their own things [02:44 PM] Wack'd: Maybe I'm being uncharitable because he's the cripple-the-b**** guy, but it does really seem like he sees nothing wrong with Reed's normal pattern of behavior and is mildly baffled anyone would. Which would fit well with his aesthetic of overwhelming nostalgia [02:45 PM] Wack'd: Anyway

Thur Aug 22 2019 [02:46 PM] Wack'd: So Reed's brain is trapped in Owen's wand now [02:47 PM] Wack'd: Ben destroys the Psi-Amplifier so Owen can't take over Reed's body permanently [02:47 PM] Wack'd: Owen, in retaliation, traps Sue, Johnny, Ben and Impy in an adimantium cube [02:48 PM] Wack'd: While he goes to blow off some adimantium rage [02:48 PM] maxwellelvis: Spider-Man and Venom ~ Maximum Carnage (Genesis) - Main Theme [02:49 PM] Wack'd: Johnny uses his heat to expand the air in the box, forcing it open, but it takes basically everything he's got [02:49 PM] Wack'd: You would think everybody in that box would die a million times of heat stroke but I guess not [02:50 PM] maxwellelvis: I was about to question the presence of Adamantium in an FF story, then I remembered that A. it's past 1975 now so Wolverine is a thing, and B. Len Wein is one of Wolverine's co-creators. [02:50 PM] maxwellelvis: And I think he first coined "Adamantium" to describe what his claws are made of. [02:51 PM] Wack'd: Watcher has gone from a white Grey to a fat bald guy to a Tor Johnson character

[02:53 PM] Wack'd: Watcher is still not talking, which Ben takes as a sign of apathy [02:53 PM] Wack'd: "Why don't you go to sell tickets to a funeral," he asks [02:54 PM] Wack'd: Ah yes, my favorite Tom Hanks movie

[02:55 PM] maxwellelvis: "You should make'em bugs!" [02:58 PM] Wack'd: Credit where it's due, I think this is genuinely the coolest monster design we've had in a while! You can see some remnants of the Kirby aping that still, in 1977, has not worn off, but it feels novel applied to brick and mortar, and I love the arrangements of the windows and the way the structures on the roof jut out of it's shoulders

[02:59 PM] Wack'd: Reed agrees to stop resisting, and the building returns to normal [02:59 PM] Wack'd: And then his friends show up and Reed starts resisting again [03:00 PM] Wack'd: Thanks to that resistance, Owen can't do anything to our heroes directly, and has to settle for transforming their surroundings [03:00 PM] Wack'd: This would be a lot simpler if they just kept the "no organic matter" limit from his first appearance [03:01 PM] maxwellelvis: Blame Steve Gerber, I guess. [03:01 PM] Wack'd: Impy tries to hit Owen with a giant mallet but Sue stops him because she doesn't want to hurt Reed [03:02 PM] Wack'd: Impy takes it well

[03:05 PM] Wack'd: Unfortunately, Reed's body gets knocked out anyway [03:06 PM] Wack'd: But while this renders the Reed inside of Owen's wand unconscious, it sends Owen into spasms of pain [03:06 PM] Wack'd: Causing him to release his grip on the wand, dropping it into a nearby factory furnace [03:07 PM] Wack'd: And so normalcy is restored--OR IS IT?! [03:07 PM] Wack'd: Reed's decided to resign from the Four [03:07 PM] Wack'd: And Sue's going to join him because "I already deserted my husband once, I'm not going to do it again" [03:07 PM] Wack'd: *sigh* [03:08 PM] Bocaj: 😐

Thur Aug 22 2019 [03:10 PM] Wack'd: FANTASTIC FOUR VOL 1 #189 [03:10 PM] Wack'd: Is a reprint of Annual ’66 [03:10 PM] Wack'd: Moving on [03:10 PM] Wack'd: As if there weren't enough reasons to hate Wein, it certainly seems like a lot of issues get delayed while he's around [03:11 PM] Wack'd: This is the second in less than ten issues [03:11 PM] maxwellelvis: That might explain why Chris Claremont took over Uncanny X-Men almost immediately after Wein revived it

[supernatural---imagines]

Your Type (Dean Imagine)

hi can i please have a dean x reader where the reader is best friends with charlie and she introduces you to sam and dean (she told you about the hunting) and the reader and dean instantly have this connection and he uses some cheesy pick up line to ask her out and its super fluffy thank you sooooooooooo much you are one of the few active supernatural blogs

Dean fic where you aren’t interested in meeting the boys cause youre friends with charlie and are mad at them for ruining her life, but then fall for dean?

I dont know if anyone out there still cares but i recently found the password to this blog that i lost 2 years ago. Im sure none of you are active anymore but heres a dean fic in case anyone is? I started this like 2/3 years ago... 

“Hey Charlie?” You called to your best friend through the hall of her apartment, having just woken up from your room where you had been staying for the past few days. 

“In here!” She shouted back from the living room. You wandered in spotting the clock on the wall noticing how long you had been sleeping for. Charlie was sitting on her couch with her foot up on the coffee table lacing her boots up.

“Headed somewhere?”

“Im off to see Sam and Dean, they called this morning they need help with a case” she answered 

“Oh god not all that monster crap” You replied with dread in your voice. Charlie had got pulled into this insane life by these two boys about a year ago now. As her best friend, she told you everything and you would have thought she was mad if she hadn’t shown you cold hard evidence. You slightly despised these men. Your friend was happy, in a good job, enjoying her life for the first time in a while, then they showed up and took that all away from her forcing her to leave her life behind. 

“Yes, monster crap.” She rolled her eyes at you. “Look, I know you don’t really like the brothers, but honestly they’re like my family. You should come along and meet them, you wont have to do any hunting they’ve got a pretty neat set up and you can kick back for a few days” 

“I’m not sure..”

“They’re also both totally hot and single! Dean is so your type” She teased.

“I don’t like them, i will definitely not be getting with either of them. But ill come along for you.” You agreed hesitantly.

About 45 minutes later, you arrived at your destination. It would be so easy to miss if you weren’t aware of exactly where it is. Charlie got out of the car and gave you a reassuring smile before heading down the steps towards the door. You had expressed your nerves to her about meeting the boys in the car ride down. 

She knocked on the door and was greeted by a tall man with longer hair. A huge smile beamed across his face as he scooped charlie up in a hugged as he greeted her happily. You stood back from the door not really sure how the man would receive you. 

“Sam this is my friend, y/n. I’ve told you guys about her before. She’s been staying with me so i brought her along i hope thats ok.” Charlie explained to Sam as she stepped away from the hug and took a few steps towards you. 

“Yes of course, hey y/n” Sam smiled at you extending his hand for you to shake it. You were kind of taken back. Unless this guy is an incredible manipulative actor, he does not seem like the type of man who would have destroyed Charlie’s life.

Sam invited you all inside where his brother, who must have been Dean, was standing at the bottom of the staircase, who greeted charlie just as happily as his brother did. You took in the surroundings of the Winchesters home, as Charlie explained who you were to the other brother. It was incredible, it was a massive underground building and definitely had Tardis style architecture. You were instantly drawn to the massive world map table that was located in the middle of the room, in front of a library type room. 

Dean said his hellos to you, much less receptive of you than Sam was. You were kind of hoping he’d be just as friendly because Charlie was right, he was your type. You all sat around the table in the library for around an hour, done some quick catching up and some getting to know you before they dove into the case they were working. Charlie needed to help Sam hack into a security system as he just couldn't crack it alone, as the Winchesters needed to break into a facility to steal some weapon to kill some monster or other. You didn’t pay much attention to the details, to be honest you couldn’t as it was all still quite confusing to you. 

“I’ll take Charlie to the site tonight so she can figure out what she needs to break this, and if she can do it we will come back in the early hours and break in. Sound good?” Sam explained his plan to his brother. He nodded in agreement and got up off his seat in sync with Charlie and Sam who started to head off.

“Alright follow me and i’ll put the TV on for you in Sam’s room, food and beer is in the fridge help yourself.” Dean said before he started off in the direction of the hall.

“Umm Dean?” You called, he stopped and turned round. “I don’t mean to be rude, but this place creeps me out a little and I’m not a crazy hunter who’s not afraid of anything, so if you’re not busy would you mind staying with me?” You spoke this half truth, yeah it was true that you didn’t want to be in this place alone, you didn’t know it at all and it was quite uncomfortable to be left in someone’s bedroom. But at the same time, you could help but remember Charlie saying how Dean was single.. and he definitely was your type. 

“Look, i’m going to be honest. I don’t know you, and sometimes I don’t take too kindly to strangers. But Charlie is like a little sister to me and if you’re her friend then i guess i want you to be comfortable.” He started towards the kitchen and you followed him in. “We’ll grab a beer and... get to know each other” he said almost through gritted teeth. Yeah, he was right about not being the most welcoming. 

You sat down at the kitchen table and Dean set down a beer in front of you before he went off down the hall and came back with a cassette player, and stuck in an ACDC tape. You smiled and expressed your love for the band, and once you began talking music, Dean started to relax a bit. You talked for around an hour, and the previously off standish Dean had started laughing and joking. He explained a bit more about hunting and how he met Charlie.

“I’m going to be honest Dean, once you came into Charlie’s life everything got a little but fucked up and I kind of hated you both a bit for it..” You brought the laughter to a halt.

“Believe me, no one hates us more for that than ourselves.” Dean said bowing his head. You regretted bringing this up. He took a swig of his beer after shaking his head a little, clearly this was a hard subject to deal with. The whole time you were hating them for ruining Charlie’s life they were hating themselves 10 times harder, you had never actually considered that they never ever wanted to do that. 

You reached your hand across the table and placed it on top of Dean’s. The many beers you’d put away giving you the confidence to touch this magnificently attractive man in an attempt to comfort him. He brought his eyes to yours suspiciously, not understanding what was going on.

“I didn’t mean to upset you” You started to apologize when he snatched his hand away to fish out his phone that was vibrating in his pocket. 

It was sam explaining Charlie can hack the system with everything they have with them, and Sam is going to go in alone tonight, then they’ll stay in a near by hotel and will be back in the morning.

“Looks like it’s just you and me tonight kid” Dean remarked, finishing off his beer. You smiled to yourself, you’d come to quite like this man and a night of just you and him didn’t sound too bad. 

An hour later you found your self in Dean’s bedroom, however not in the way you had hoped. You were both sitting on the edge of his bed watching Batman. Somehow you ended up on the topic of this film and how long it had been since you both seen it, and it just so happened Dean had the DVD. 

“I’m sorry..” you interrupted the film “I know you like batman but MAN am I rooting for the Joker so hard right now” 

“You’re a horrible person” Dean said sarcastically 

“Oi!” You yelled, gently punching his arm to express your annoyance at his comment. He nudged you back instantly on the shoulder pushing you backwards onto the bed. You yelled out his name with a laugh and pulled him down with you, wrestling around for a minute before he pinned your wrists above your head and the smiles both faded from your faces. He was leaning over you, his eyes searching in yours looking for permission to kiss you. You leaned up slightly and he brought his lips to yours, kissing you passionately before letting go of your wrists to trace his hands over your body. He melted into the kiss as his hands felt every inch of you, sliding up your shirt to feel your breasts over your bra. You grabbed the back of his neck forcing him to sink even deeper into the kiss. He paused and pulled away from your lips, as his hand moved away from under your shirt and lingered on the button of your pants, as he looked into your eyes. You smirked and nodded your head at him before he undid the button and ripped them off you. 

The next morning you were woken at 6am by Dean’s alarm, you groaned as you rolled over to smack it to shut it up. You looked beside you and saw a half awake Dean, who was completely naked under the blankets, with messy bed head and an annoyed look on his face from the screeching alarm. Beer bottles, snack wrappers and a whiskey bottle were littered over the floor. As you sat up your hangover suddenly became apparent to you as you moaned a little before forcing yourself to get out of the bed.

“Mornin” he grumbled as he picked up a pillow and put it over his face and rolled over. You laughed to yourself and got up, throwing on Deans plaid shirt and your underwear. The smile didn’t leave your lips as you put the clothes on, the memories of last night spent with Dean was one of the best you’d had in a long while. 

You left Dean to sleep a bit longer, and walked out of the bedroom making your way to the kitchen to find coffee. You didn’t notice Sam and Charlie sitting down with some breakfast before it was too late, they’d spotted you in the older Winchester’s shirt and no pants. “I told you he was your type” Charlie giggled, erupting laughter from Sam as your face turned red from embarrassment.