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mossy-aro · 4 months ago

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i hate to be a Downer but no i don’t think making the tenth generic post abt how ‘true love’ is and always will be the most powerful force in the universe and that nothing else compares gives you a personality actually. sorry.

#aromantic #that trope is sooo fucking lame… and it’s overplayed… and it sucks. sorry.#not to be a cunt! but i am going to say this.#like slay if u love love me too. but no love is not inherently good nor does it lie at the centre of everything ever.#also nor is love the most powerful force in the universe of all time. i mean whatever if u think that idc #but i hate it as a trope! it’s bad. sorry!#hate it when i watch a show and it’s like. then tje curse was broken with true loves kiss <3 romantic btw. in a romantic way.#like we get it you’re in beautiful alloromantic heterosexual love. doesn’t make the trope suck any less #and then people will eat it up and make 1000 generic posts abt why love is the meaning of it all or smth. which all sound the same #sorry. im being mean but u gotta let me be a little mean sometimes it’s for the ecosystem #mossy posts #how to tag this.#lovequeer

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quietwingsinthesky · 1 year ago

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it ever hit you out of nowhere that castiel is living in a dead guy's body and the show just does not care. it does not care. jimmy novak might as well not exist the moment he or claire is out of sight. cas stole a guy's body and his face and his life, and we can't ever talk about it or discuss it in detail because of how fucking horrifying it is that sam and dean's best friend just walks around in a dead guy suit. there's not even a human soul in there anymore. it's just a corpse. stone-cold body snatcher indeed.

#castiel spn #spn #this is not like a Castiel Crime (tm) to be clear. this is more me being (un)surprised that the show is Like This.#castiel is a horror story he is so much a horror story in the rapture #and then they just uh. never bring up again how horrifying and fucked up this is for another like 7 seasons #and when they do its to briefly go :( claire lost her dad :) but its okay! she forgives cas for it!#which!! NO SHE SHOULD FUCKING NOT!!!#but we can't have that discussion. we can't talk about that. because to acknowledge that it's fucked up would mean making cas kind of. evil #in a way that would vastly improve his later character arcs btw. if we had to reckon with not only this massive transgression #but with the fact that cas himself STILL DOESN'T SEE IT AS ONE.#that on a lot of fundamental levels. he is still functioning as he did in s4. a lot of that base programming is still there.#something something how cas never changes out of his suit under his trenchcoat #but it's like. jimmy said yes. so it's fine. that's what it is to him.#anyway. i wish they hadn't been scared of making all three of the boys more fucked up in later seasons.#thank GOD for dean being interesting in how he becomes Worse <3 because they were not bringing that for castiel.#again. good version of spn where jimmy's bloodline is an off-shoot of the lucifer vessel bloodline. explaining a) how lucifer Got In There #and b) letting lucifer possess claire later so that the two of them can have daddy issues together.#something about cas being the monster-not monster that jimmy let in that destroyed his life.#something about lucifer being the monster-not monster that castiel lets in later. the cycles. they are cycling.

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sparklykat-hideoutenthusiast · 18 days ago

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Last night's mood:

Not all of these are pictures from last night. Only the first three are..

Do not read the tags. Just don't. It's a bit personal. I didn't put them there to share, only to vent it out so please don't read them.

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dyketennant · 3 months ago

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oh i can already tell i’m about to have some really unpopular opinions about the edge of sleep tv show

#i remember everyone loving the podcast when it came out #but as someone who was an active fan of audio dramas and podcasts for years at that point the show just. made me frustrated #i realized later after listening to left right game that qcode has this very strange and almost uncanny production behind it #where they get incredibly famous actors to play characters and then bank their marketing on that alone #and the writing is always *almost* good. like sometimes you start to think you might actually be listening to a good show #bc i mean the audio quality and special effects are all stellar #but then the writing and acting is always just a little bit too over-the-top and dramatic for it to feel natural #like the writers don’t know how to portray emotion without visuals so they just make everything Way Too Intense #and each time it feels like they just ask ‘what’s the most insane thing that can happen next?’#’oh ok he’s gonna chop dave’s dick off’#and every time you start to actually like a character they say something misogynistic or just otherwise batshit fucking insane #not to mention that time in left right game where a girl confessed her love to her best friend before LITERALLY DYING FOR HER #only for the best friend in the next scene to be like ‘erm i’m not gay 😐 awkward…’ and she’s NEVER BROUGHT UP AGAIN #qcode productions are kinda like the fast fashion of fiction podcasts i think #they churn out so many so quickly and they always feel just slightly unnatural or superficial #not to mention when i tried looking into them years ago and it’s impossible to find #literally anything about them. like their minimalist ass website was so insanely insanely vague #and yet clearly they’ve gotta have a fuck ton of money backing them to have this absurd amount of a-list talent on board #(which really i think that is all they care about)#anyways yeah some markiplier fans are gonna get pissed at me for not kissing the ground he walks on. but i was one of you. i AM one of you #and i hate that somebody out there is holding the iron lung movie over us like we’re dogs and if we wanna watch it #we gotta watch this show. which BTW they are giving no details about where to watch it #and seemingly no promotion or marketing material for a show that’s been in production for years coming out in less than 3 weeks #just weird as fuck man. and i don’t even think mark has much to do with it

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rotisseries · 1 year ago

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chapters 51 and 58 of bloodmarked are absolutely CARRYING bree/nick/selwyn polyamory truthers

#selwyn is kind of a stupid name I realized as I was typing this. like I've gotten used to it over 2 books but it's so silly. selwyn #anyway. me disappearing for days and only showing up for like 30 minutes to reblog 3 things #and make a nigh incomprehensible post letting you guys know what book I'm reading now (read. I finished it yesterday actually.#now I'm rereading legendborn bc I'm apparently not ready to move on to a new book and also I forgot most of the shit from that book)#anyway I've been on the polyamory train for these 3 since I read legendborn in 2020 but I swear it's only gotten stronger #like what do you MEAN selwyn (magically oathed to protect nick) FEELS SAFER with nick around #THE SAME WAY BREE DOES. AND BOTH SELWYN AND NICK LIKE. AGREE ON HOW MUCH THEY LOVE BREE. AND THERE'S NO WEIRD JEALOUSY ABOUT IT #AND SELWYN CANONICALLY WAS AT ONE POINT IN LOVE WITH NICK????#AND NICK LITERALLY SAYS TO SEL “I CAN'T LOSE YOU AND I WON'T LOSE HER”????#LIKE?????#THERE IS NO WAY THIS IS YOUR STANDARD ASS LOVE TRIANGLE IT'S GOTTA BE AT LEAST A LITTLE POLYAMORUS #IF NOT A FULL TRIANGLE BREE SHOULD AT *LEAST* GET 2 BOYFRIENDS. SHE DESERVES IT #even if it does end up a standard love triangle though this is honestly a genuinely good one #like I genuinely like both love interests neither of them are weird or annoying or creepy about her #anyway. need book 3 out as soon as possible I swear to god I almost can't see how this ends in monogamy #I'm talking about the legendborn series by tracy deonn btw everyone #another arthurian inspired book series which if you saw my other post the other day I swear this isn't intentional #legendborn #bloodmarked #the legendborn cycle #tracy deonn #bree matthews #nick davis #selwyn kane

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telesodalite · 4 days ago

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I need to be weirder about the scavengers and cannibalism...

#its been a long day... but im feeling better now. (thanks for the well wishes and such btw <3-)#(-sending my well wishes in return by tenfold bcs. damn. it seems stuff is really going around rn)#but yeah... just. augh. theres just smth about how the scavs sorta translate into more like. thriller-esque genres pretty well?#like. i feel somehow those themes compliment their characteristics? or could compliment their characteristics in a more rounded out way #sure. theyre generally a light hearted romp of absurdity with occasional themes of a not good not bad handling of 'mental health matters'#but they just really shine a bit in horrific circumstances. esp with the sort of absurdity they bring to the table #theyre odd people. even in the context of their generally weird and alien universe. and that right there feels like a trove of potential #its like. ok. the lost light crew? also odd. but thats a huge ship. full of people and variety and a sense of purpose and normalcy post-war #(normalcy being. whatever all those background folks were getting up too while plot happened around them. cruise ship stuff ig)#but in contrast. with the w.a.p crew. its an ark class ship with like. a handful of people. and a whole lot of junk and free time #both just cruising through space endlessly for years. one with hundreds of people. and one with like 6 people.#so both are technically isolated when theyre not making pit-stops planet or station side. but again. 100s vs 6 dudes.#think. top of the line cruise ship from hell with a small town sized populace vs a big shitty boat and 6 starving guys #both have the capacity to become case studies in madness. both could do really well thriller wise. but the scavs being a smaller group?#it only being the 6 of them emphasis the isolation perhaps. less variety. less change. same 6 people for 5(?) years #things could get weird fast. codependent mentalities. us vs them mindsets. an otherness about everyone else outside of their group #and then! then you add to the mix the fact that theyre eating/drinking from corpses?! *chefs kiss* awesome. love it.#non-stationary isolation + cannibalism. ough. perfect mix. a classic of maritime horror but in space! :D!#a big ship. small crew. living while knowing that as soon as you kick the bucket. your body is the meal. your body is the fuel.#no decorum about it. no faith. no belief. just perverse survival. bcs they might enjoy it. a bloody gluttony. with a bite. a sample. a taste #it takes seeing your buddy as a walking talking burger to another level. bcs every corpse you come across is also a burger. and a gas can #also fulcrum making candy out of corpses is so. particularly perfect when it comes to the horrifically absurd. just. smth about it. idk #but also also. the line. where was the line drawn for each of them? and when did they each cross it?#most of them dont seem like the type to jump head first into that. so how did they justify it to themselves? had they done it before?#and then. when did it become normal? a habit? smth enjoyable?#i might be running out of tags. but yeah. them being weirder. esp about each other and others.#nothing brings a group of people together like the overhanging knowledge that you sort of kinda wanna eat each other #(rlly wishing i could stomach realistic thrillers rn. but i just cant. gotta stick to written or artistic styles or risk panic attacks :/)#(ive tried a couple movies and shows now. and cant get through most of them. praise be synopses and peoples long rambles about them tho :D)#(nothing like reading someones passionate ramble about the meaning/symbolism of some gory nightmare without having to actually see it lol)

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hiemaldesirae · 1 year ago

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my favourite characters thus far: the 'villain' (tamlin), the mcs sister, the LIs (dead) sister, and the queen who died like a chapter after her second scene

#says a lot about sjm that her most interesting characters are a) the ones she made 'unlikeable' or b) dead #anti sjm #acotar #acotar fanart #still very anti acomaf but like #i love the golden queen and the lore behind everything is also very good despite what the series itself talks about #gonna continue reading so i can see tamlin #but i am still very pissed about it #ran rambles #🌗 art tag #nesta and feyre mean everything to me btw #first book feyre and her relationship w her sisters <3 #and the way nesta went to back feyre up during the meeting w the queens 🥹#THEYRE SISTERS WEHHH #i love sibling relationships sjm when i fucking catch you for how BAD you fumbled this #rhe archeron sisters could be SO GOOD if obnly they werent written by sjm #nesta. feyre hon. im so sorry #elain....... i might need to give her a personality transplant but ur fine #also yeah i realize rhys is older than his sister but personally i think thats boring #the pain of losing an older sibling shouldnt be underestimated

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just1gnome · 1 year ago

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"that sounds tediously boring"

gnome beat the game

here they are on the boat

#SPOILERS BELOW !!!!!!#they are so precious to me i dont know what i would do without them #ive been insanely emotional about them since last night #i wish you could see how the other characters are doing before the credits #thats my one gripe i wanna know what shadowhearts up to #SHOW ME THE CELEBRATION YALL KEEP TALKING ABOUT !!!!#i want to see them happy and hanging out and smiling :(((#also im sure theres some way to avoid this but karlach does live in their basement and they do feed her brains #all in all its a pretty good set up #shes not gonna explode any time soon and theyre all roommates #could be worse #i do mean she volunteered to turn illithid btw and from where i was standing that looked like the best option #she looks a little weird now but thats still my Best Friend karlach #im sure lae'zel will visit on holidays....#shes like the cool aunt you only see for family reunions i think #ALSO HEY LARIAN ? I ROMANCED THE FUCK OUT OF HALSIN !!!! I SHOULD GET AN EPILOGUE SCENE WITH HIM TOO !!!!!!!#i shouldve brought him with me but gale...... the carefully crafted narrative that lives only in my head........#baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 astarion #astarion #astarion fanart #astarion x tav #astarion ancunin #bg3 tav #my art

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stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage · 9 months ago

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So you know this party banter between Aveline and Carver?

Aveline: I don't like some of the people you've been associating with, Carver. Carver: Talk to my brother/sister. He/She's the one in charge.

If you're on the rivalry path with Aveline, she says:

Aveline: Who says I don't mean him/her too? This city's full of people who are dead set on ending badly. I don't want to see you end up the same way.

I just- Aveline, you- you're so- hhhhnnnngggggg

I always rival Aveline when I play a mage, and if you think Edgar Aristide Hawke, who practically raised Carver and Bethany after Malcolm died and Leandra became a distant mother in her grief, wouldn't stop dead in his tracks at Aveline heavily implying he's a bad influence on his brother and Carver shouldn't hang around him so much since apparently Ed's someone set on ending badly...? Absolutely not.

This is another case of me wishing Hawke had the option to jump in during party banter with different options, because Ed would've chewed Aveline out for that.

Oh, and then there's:

Carver: Would asking you to stop spying on me help in the least? Aveline: No.

Aveline...................stop it.

#da2 #dragon age 2 #carver hawke #aveline vallen #da2 hawke #edgar hawke #listen all of aveline and carver's party banter and their relationship and the fact that they're pretty much foils DRIVES ME CRAZY #in a good way but then i get party banter like this and i stop everything i'm doing just to scream #like ed and aveline are on fairly good terms in act 1 i mean the rivalry is there but it's not too bad it's more like they just butt heads #but after leandra's death the friendship just rots and deteriorates like by the end of act 3 ed is genuinely surprised aveline #didn't turn on him and side with the templars but i guess even aveline knows what's actually right #or maybe she just doesn't want to face ed in a fight sksksks hell ed AND carver in a fight so it's easier to side with him and the mages #but anyway aveline saying that when ed's in earshot is bold but also the fact that carver doesn't actually acknowledge it #like he doesn't agree or disagree he just changes the subject to be like 'can you stop spying on me PLEASE'#like he already has no privacy while living with gamlen and now he has no privacy when he's by himself because apparently aveline's spying #also i always max out carver's friendship so he and ed are on good terms they're the brothers hawke and carver loves him #even if he doesn't outright say it you know that's what he's really saying in the last straw #when he says that he's proud to call hawke brother/sister and that's gone unsaid for too long like............ screaming sobbing throwing u #like the carver and hawke dynamic on his friendship path is sooo good that i hear aveline say that and i'm immediately ready to throw hands #btw if you're on aveline's friendship path she says 'maybe but i know you get around' instead which...........gets around where aveline???#aveline my list of beef with you grows with every playthrough i hate you but also i love you but also i want to throw you in the ocean #until you get your head out of your ass like this is a case of her being a FASCINATING character but as a person? while i'm playing ed? ugh #my lady warrior hawke adored aveline but ed is ready to fight her 24/7 sksksk

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art-from-the-juice-box · 3 months ago

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sorry for the lighting but i feel like you can still tell what’s going on and it’s not like a portfolio picture so yay ya yay stuff from school now that it’s properly started :) we were doing self portraits inspired by books from the library and mine was a collection of sci fi movie posters which is something i’ve never done before :]

#obligatory personal stuff doesn’t get as much interaction but luckily i’m posting for ME!!! YIPPEEEEEE!!!!#artists on tumblr #sci fi art #and those will be my two tags for today :)#hoping to take a break from assignment and do a proper slimepompurin later today like i said i wanted to #not that i’ve ever been good at doing things ive said i want to do #cause i also want to print my ballot and do laundry #we did a little walk around look at other peoples work in their sketchbooks and write them sticky notes and i got six fucking sticky notes #everyone in the class had 3 each #like logically if everyone was at a sketchbook each time and didn’t double up the most you should get is three #i got six i was so overwhelmed but they were so nice #like i had to take anxiety meds but in a good way if u know what i mean #did wonders for my imposter syndrome i feel so much better #taking an illustration course btw!!! i’ve said that on my main but not here so if you look at my mess of tags you get that bit of lore #i’m an international student :) very scary but very excited i already feel good about it unless i forget to take meds in which case it feels #like i’m dying #medicated though!! i feel so excited i’ve always wanted to go to art school #and i did Not Like the US #so i’m in the Uk now and there aren’t guns everywhere and they know how to make stall doors properly thank god #more comfortable pissing here then i am in my home town #partially cause it’s illegal for me to do that in my home town

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fuwaprince · 1 year ago

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Yes, society runs on the kindness of seemingly uncompensated labor. But I promise, if you stick around and stick with it- you will be compensated with the most fulfilling and meaningful life. With the richness of empathic regeneration. It will go beyond thank you. Beyond hugs and friendship and even love. Being kind to each other is the whole point. The sum of the whole will be greater than the sum of the parts.

Voluntary kindness is EVERYTHING. Today I shared kisses (the chocolate kind) with a few ladies at school.... then a very kind lady with pink hair gave me an ice cream sandwich (she didn't charge me anything :'3 which was a surprise)... and then ANOTHER kind lady came into THAT kind lady's shop just to gift her sweet grapes that she mentioned she grew out of her backyard!!! Then guess what???

The cycle continues!!!!! And we're all so grateful and smiling. We're all so much happier than we would've been just buying these things because we had to for ourselves. Everything tastes better when they're coming from someone who thinks of you and cares. I love people.

I'm hopeful for dream weavers making this happen. College students voluntarily sharing pages of textbooks and lab manuals. Kids voluntarily sharing their toys. Strangers sharing benches and holding doors open for each other. It's all in the spirit of KINDNESS. I'm so proud of the camaraderie I've seen within society and to be a part of it. I'm proud of whoever is reading this for all the nice things they've done on earth too. It might seem unnoticed or uncompensated for now but hold onto this vision. It's a positive feedback loop. It's symbiosis. It's mutual aid. It's humanity! I'm so grateful to play a part.

#i mean this in the most non overexploitative and sincere way #people are good #thank you to the kind person who sent me $ 'for treats' today :')#i thought it would be bad to share what good i received but... it ended up working out exponentially well #i hope that kind person somehow received their kindness back #if they haven't yet then i know they will #<3 i gotta message ppl back ikik btw!!!!!!!!!!!#gotta finish important stuff first and hopefully by the time I'm done... well... i may need to sleep by then #but this post is what's most important and i hope all the ppl waiting for a reply read this #when i tell ppl ty for talking to me or messaging me i mean it so much #it is so incredibly kind to send a friendly message and it feels good to receive #moreso on difficult days when i wake up uncertain that kindness is rly the point of it all #it is #i know this #(don't ask how)#i'm holding onto that vision #tightly and desperately #like it's my final hope bc it truly is #so grateful to play a part WITH YOU ALL!!!!! WITH YOU!!!!!#we're in this together

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gobstoppr · 7 months ago

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i just Know that arthur lester is a conservative

#i dont mean this in a bad way. i mean i do. but he is #and its fucking hilarious #my sisters been listening to malevolent so ive been joining her for a rewatch #were on season 3 and . hes just so fucking funny #sucks at everything. constantly lashing out. has the worst takes youve ever seen . kills a man. has more bad takes. iconic #the shit with him being like 'but yellow is so much different than you bro' is just sooo funny. bro youre one of the good Gays.#malevolent podcast #john isnt as much of a misogynist as arthur but hes racist btw. hope this helps #text

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lavellane · 2 months ago

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i was so set on replaying veilguard for the davrinmance but oh my god im SO attached to my agent-of-fenharel hardingmancer rn i actually think the choice is out of my hands lol

#oc: evander #datv #tay plays datv #datv spoilers #deia's brother btw !!!! very much giving anders vibes if anders was kind of deadbeat oldest son who frequents the club #him having sold out the inquisition on solas's instruction and then falling for one of the scouts who was hurt the most by it #very much a mirror to solavellan except theyre literally just people and ultimately victims of their leader's organizations overarching war #and harding being sympathetic to solas enough to reach evanders conscience even during Peak radicalization #but holding solas accountable enough to potentially sway evanders mind #and then evander learning the truth about solas but also specifically what that means for harding the person hes grown to love #having to reconcile that his own rebel-fantasy is not more important than the very real pain his loved ones have gone thru as a result #and like figuring out what going forward looks like. is he STILL sympathetic but its tempered? or does he go full anti-solas in an act of #redemption which would also probably involve him telling harding to embrace her anger and not her loving side?? which is kind of the invers #of his own arc.#GOD.#AND THEN ITS LIKE. DO I KILL OFF HARDING AT THE END???? THAT WOULD BE SOOOOO CRAZY FOR THE *STORY*#i think she has to live actually bc i hate the fridged wife trope and solas Is ultimately redeemed in this worldstate #and if harding died bc of solas (and evanders varricmancer sister also lost varric) evander WOULD be team kill immediately no exceptions #but still food for thought #god. chat i am fucking COOKING today this is crazy #hes not technically my rook bc he works way better in the story as a ~companion~ to deia (his sister) the actual protag #but both he and matthas (the other pro-inquisition brother) could arguably have been the Rook as well.#all 3 of the mercar siblings were AT the ritual but for different reasons (evander to aid solas. matthas to kill solas. deia to stop him)#so MAYBE I WILL romance harding instead this time...... how are we feeling abt hardings romance babes is it good. do we recommend

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keeps-ache · 2 months ago

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once again i am on the playlist lol

#just me hi #my strange brain concoctions back at it again lmfsh #i've been workin on it by bits and bits for the past 2-3ish days and i think i've almost got what i mean hfvbs #yea... mnmnm...#//outta the Lagoons into the Blues !! what a transition hkfshv #i mean i Have found that i actually really really like the shampoo we've been using for like 5 years hghfsv #but also i've had to switch from that one to a different one anyway cuz my hair? is grezy ghfbshv #it Is soft now though which is cool :D cuz the old soap didn't get it quite well and i was using dish soap sometimes to strip it so Lmao #which btw the dish soap worked p well. however it Did feel stripped kgfhsv #/what else what else uuum #i've developed more world stuff for pi.e which is also very epic and neat ; like the 3 Cities + radiation towns + Sanctuary cities +#Sanctuary zones + how they interact w/ each other lol :)#i have these weird lil creatures that i'm calling Rascals rn but i think they need a different name pfshv #and also cuz i made the general world bigger that means i have defined more of the plot just by. scribbling some points for towns on paper #yea :D this thing is maybe just a little bit daunting but i'll prolly get it figured out lol ; roman 3 #/oh i Do really wanna draw more pi.e stuff to post hfh :>#cuz despite it all i am still v shy abt my stuff and that's kinda silly so !!#/sometimes my brain gets into these weird paper jams where i'm doing one thing but then i see and wanna do another thing (easy transition ?#but then i see another thing and then another and now i have 4 different things and i feel bad just focusing on just one because. ??? ????#when i was little i used to humanize objects Just before they were thrown away and i think that sort of carried over in a weird way bfhsvgj #balance in all things !! wait no not like that w-#//oh wait wait did i ever mention i learned to make stir fried rice w/ egg #prolly not that big of a deal but i'm STILL happy abt that lol :D #maybe especially cuz i was doing most of the cooking while my picky-cook brother was helping and he thought it was good so like YAY #though tried to make it a second time and i let my ma put the salt in the pot and she oversalted it by Far TwT #it was fine though just really salty lol :)#//mnm also getting into classic vehicles a lil bit #just a bit! cuz i don't know where to start and i just really like that one bike i doodled a bit ago #also i'm a bit spooked that my dad will find out and he is Overwhelming when he finds you might like smth he knows smth abt gfvsgh <3 #//Oh i'm outta tag space pfshgv - Toodlesssss ciao :3

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moonsidesong · 1 year ago

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i think its kinda funny that ibis paint is regarded as the Broke Artist App or whatever (as opposed to more mainstream programs like csp or procreate) because its free and because of how popular it is with phone + finger artists while im jusg sitting here having used ibis for a cool eight years on purpose.

like i have an ipad and an apple pencil and all theyre very nice and i absolutely could move to a more powerful program i have the resources to do so but my change averse brain has decided they like it here a lot and im not leaving

#not talking smack on phone and finger artists btw. some of my mutuals use their fingers and their art goes crazy i respect that so much #even when i did use my phone (most of 14 crush was done on a phone!) i still had to use a cheap rubber stylus hahaha #anyway maybe ill try procreate someday but also i hate learning new programs and i like ibis's brushes too much #fingers crossed that they add fully custom brushes someday though #like id love to be one of those artists that makes really cool art with ridiculous shapes and nobody even knows until they tell you #younger artists might not know this but modern ibis is STACKED compared to how it was in 2015 #like i remember when clipping layers were first implemented. and they sucked. like they didnt fully go over the lower layer #so it just left a gross tiny outline around the shape #and there wasnt any border or text tools either #and there was a hard cap on layer count depending on your device's storage and the canvas size #modifying brushes wasnt even a thing HAHAHAHAH you just used what you had #anyway okiku reference window unrelated shes just there for something else im working on<3 #bri talks #for the record all this is to say i think the smack talk towards ibis is pretty unwarranted #like yeah maybe its not as powerful as a lot of these fancy paid apps but i honestly think its insanely good for being a free program #i think getting rid of the ads costs more now than it did when i paid to get rid of them but i mean #free with ads is still a lot more than csp's ever gonna give you!!!!#(psst. secret from me to you! you wont get any ads if you disable the app's data usage and turn off wifi when you use it)#(alternatively just use airplane mode but you can still get texts and stuff the first way)

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phagodyke · 5 months ago

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weekend melancholy is starting to kick in >~<

#im gonna go and do my food shop etc to keep myself busy and hopefully my 2nd meds will kick in and we'll be able to handle it together #i think i kind of do this so regularly bc my brain is just processing everything bc i dont rly have time during the week #all cool tho im doing good overall def on the up n i feel way more capable of coping emotionally which is nice. i <3 meds #also.. possibly settling on the idea that i might be agender. very tentatively. lots of experiences n thoughts coming together rn #ive been reacting in unexpected ways to a lot of gendered shit atm which has made me reconsider the way i think abt myself #but very difficult to articulate it to myself let alone anyone else. so ive been sitting with it for now until it precipitates #gender stuff has never rly affected me much or ive never been in a place to explore it which is why i havent thought abt it super hard #but im not the sort of person who needs a lot of internal exploration to figure out my identity like im v self aware tbh #and while im wildly indecisive abt most things in my life for some reason i never have been abt stuff like this. i learned abt lesbianism #like idk 9 years ago-ish and straight away was like yeah that makes sense for me. never looked back since #n similarly ive experienced forms of gender dysphoria before n just immediately dealt with it symptomatically n moved on #its never been smth to agonise abt for me like i know what makes me comfortable in my skin so theres no question abt doing it #and ik im privileged to be able to do that. and also it helps that gender for me is mostly divorced from external perceptions #+ that im v autistic so social pressures dont stick to me very well. i mean yeah i was bullied for it as a kid but i was stubborn asf #so yeah from the moment i realised i was genuinely uncomfortable/upset abt it earlier this week i was like okay. lets try this instead #its given me pretty instant relief from any distress i was feeling so far which is nice. rare respite from one of my torture labyrinths #just testing out internally whether it frames things more clearly n makes me feel more myself/at peace before i choose to stick w the idea #but not gonna do a whole coming out fanfare either way. dont think i wanna change how ppl interact w me + im still a dyke #so i dont consider it relevant to anyone else unless they share a similar understanding of gender to me. or if we're v close #ill prolly broach it w other trans friends eventually bc insert philosophers talking image. but to everyone else its business as usual #happy to play my cis-sona at work. + w new queer ppl i meet ive been introducing myself recently w mirrored pronouns instead of any/all #and i think i prefer that. virtually indistinguishable but theres smth nice abt inviting ppl to recognise me the way they do themselves #like translating + localising a non-gendered language into a gendered one... simplifying decisions abt how to perceive me #and ofc ppl are still gonna perceive me however but idc much unless we're actually friends. the rest is all a performance anyway #doubtful anyone on here ever has reason to refer to me but if u do for some reason... im freeloading off ur pronouns now btw <3 #but yeahhh. much 2 think abt. i need to read more alien/ai sci fi.. non-human sentience has been such a comforting concept lately #but yea tldr i woke up one morning this week like damn im prolly agender but i have a full time job to go to rn so idc abt that #.diaries #okkkk my dex is kicking in im no longer on the verge of tears lets go get these groceries wooohoooo

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