#it is so incredibly kind to send a friendly message and it feels good to receive

[fuwaprince]

Yes, society runs on the kindness of seemingly uncompensated labor. But I promise, if you stick around and stick with it- you will be compensated with the most fulfilling and meaningful life. With the richness of empathic regeneration. It will go beyond thank you. Beyond hugs and friendship and even love. Being kind to each other is the whole point. The sum of the whole will be greater than the sum of the parts.

Voluntary kindness is EVERYTHING. Today I shared kisses (the chocolate kind) with a few ladies at school.... then a very kind lady with pink hair gave me an ice cream sandwich (she didn't charge me anything :'3 which was a surprise)... and then ANOTHER kind lady came into THAT kind lady's shop just to gift her sweet grapes that she mentioned she grew out of her backyard!!! Then guess what???

The cycle continues!!!!! And we're all so grateful and smiling. We're all so much happier than we would've been just buying these things because we had to for ourselves. Everything tastes better when they're coming from someone who thinks of you and cares. I love people.

I'm hopeful for dream weavers making this happen. College students voluntarily sharing pages of textbooks and lab manuals. Kids voluntarily sharing their toys. Strangers sharing benches and holding doors open for each other. It's all in the spirit of KINDNESS. I'm so proud of the camaraderie I've seen within society and to be a part of it. I'm proud of whoever is reading this for all the nice things they've done on earth too. It might seem unnoticed or uncompensated for now but hold onto this vision. It's a positive feedback loop. It's symbiosis. It's mutual aid. It's humanity! I'm so grateful to play a part.

[antianakin]

Antianakin's Anti-Anakin/Pro-Jedi Fic Rec List

The theme for this rec list is fics that either center on Anakin getting some consequences for his actions or are just generally more critical towards Anakin as a character. Please note that this means these fics will also be critical towards most Anakin ships, most notably Anidala and Obikin.

This list is dedicated to all of the people who have been sending me messages asking for fic recs over the last several months, there's clearly a market for fics that aren't kind towards Anakin.

A lot of these fics take things like the Tusken massacre, Order 66, and Anakin's treatment of Padme, Ahsoka, Obi-Wan, and Rex very seriously. Please take that as a warning if any of those things might be triggering, and keep an eye on the tags for all of the fics included here just in case.

Here are the categories!

Anakin/Consequences: Anakin experiences consequences for his actions in some way shape or form, but doesn't die.

Spoiler Alert, He Doesn't Make It: Anakin experiences the specific consequence of dying by the end of the story, usually at the hands of someone he's hurt.

The Jedi Deserve Better: There's a bigger focus on the Jedi recovering, Jedi culture, or the Jedi being philosophically right than there is on anything specifically "anti Anakin" as such, but the story is still critical of Anakin's beliefs and/or behavior.

Helpful terms:

Unfinished: Any fic that is marked as incomplete, or a series where the fic(s) in it are still incomplete and cannot stand alone

Ongoing: Any series marked as incomplete, but the fics in it are marked as complete or can stand alone as they are

There is no specific order to this. I tried to group fics from one specific author together, but other than that, I didn't place anything in any specific position for a reason.

This is not an exhaustive list of good anti-Anakin fics that exist, obviously. If your fic or your favorite fic isn't on this list, please feel free to rec it yourself in the notes, leave a reply or reblog with a link. I'm happy to read more anti-Anakin fic, especially if it's very Pro-Jedi!

One final reminder: NOTHING IN THIS LIST IS ANAKIN FRIENDLY! If that's going to bother you to read, please just skip this entire list, it's not for you.

Anakin/Consequences:

and the tide rises, the tide falls series by @blackkatmagic (unfinished, 119k): When Anakin's actions with the Tuskens on Tatooine become known a few months into the Clone War, Agen Kolar comes in to temporarily take over the 501st while Anakin is sent back to Coruscant to face the Council. I cannot recommend this fic enough. This is the fic that introduced me to Agen Kolar as a real character (as opposed to just one of the random Jedi who immediately die going up against Palpatine in Revenge of the Sith) and now he's one of my favorite Jedi of all time. Agen is such a beautiful character and his relationship to his identity as a Jedi gives me just about every feeling I think I've ever felt in my life and the development of his relationships with Rex, Kix, and Ahsoka as the fic continues is such a well-written slow burn. I'd recommend reading more of blackkat's works just in general, too, because they're pretty much all Pro-Jedi and have a delightful tendency to focus on more niche Jedi and clone characters and rarepair ships if you're interested in that.

Commander Fox's Ultimate Bucket List by @blackkatmagic (27k): Fox is sent back in time, immediately murders Palpatine, and surprisingly nothing but good things follow so he's got plenty of time now to get to the other things on his bucket list, including but not limited to: murdering Count Dooku, murdering Anakin Skywalker, saving Senator Amidala from her atrocious taste in men, and seducing Mace Windu. This fic is BLISTERINGLY funny, Fox's very dry point of view on things and readiness to shoot Anakin at literally any moment literally had me struggling to not laugh out loud at work. This is also an INCREDIBLY pro-Mace Windu fic, with all of the clones, for once, in love with Mace Windu instead of the more popular suspects. It's what he deserves, and Fox agrees.

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Time Travelers by @blackkatmagic (unfinished, 78k): Fives is stuck in a time loop where he tries to stop Order 66 from happening and his latest plan is to kidnap Mace Windu for his own protection because he's the only person capable of defeating Palpatine. Fives' opinion of Anakin is now INCREDIBLY low, and the constant comparisons to Mace and how much better Mace is, are deeply satisfying. Fives' immense distress and somewhat manic passion don't take away from just HOW competent Fives is, and I really love getting to see a depiction of him that really allows him to fully be both at once and neither one takes away from the other. I love how his relationship to Mace develops from Fives' initial desperation into something so trusting and passionate through difficult circumstances.

in search of a sky for smoke to rise to by @blackkatmagic (7k): Padme has to go on the run after reporting Anakin's massacre of the Tuskens to the Jedi in fear of Anakin's rage. She lands on Sundari to try to hide there and meets with Arla Fett who sparks her interest. Padme gets to be a total BAMF in this which is always fun, and I LOVED Arla in this so so much!

sanguine series by @glimmerglanger (157.5k) (EDIT: this AO3 account was deleted several months after I made this list and so the link below is now broken. I am leaving this series in regardless, as a record of the incredible work glimmerglanger did and as a reminder of the consequences of online harassment): Obi-Wan is a vampire in an AU where vampires exist in the GFFA and this changes some things. The ramifications of what it means to be a vampire in this AU and the biases and prejudices that Obi-Wan has to deal with are so interesting from a worldbuilding standpoint. The way Anakin's relationship with Obi-Wan CHANGES because of it is also an interesting thing to see develop in this series.

uncomfortable by @panther-os (1k): When Anakin won't respect Padme's boundaries in the beginning of Attack of the Clones, Padme requests a different bodyguard from the Jedi. Short and sweet and removes the rather unfortunate "yes means no" theme that taints Padme's storyline in Attack of the Clones.

Slices of Happiness series by @feybarn (unfinished, 40k): No Order 66 AU where Obi-Wan takes a short sabbatical after the war to handle his mental health and is joined by some of the clones before he returns to the Temple. It is, as the title of the series says, mostly just little slices of stories as the clones and Jedi heal and reconnect after the war. There's a large emphasis on Obi-Wan healing from Anakin's rejection of the Jedi and having to come to terms with his relationship with Anakin having perhaps been less healthy than he'd realized and learning to enforce healthier boundaries when Anakin gets entitled and selfish.

Wasted Training by @thesecondbatgirl (700): Obi-Wan finds out about Anakin's "training" for Ahsoka from TOTJ. Very short but OH so satisfying to see someone react appropriately to this.

Liberosis by Be_Right_Back (2k): In a No Order 66 AU, Anakin's secret marriage comes to light and the Council asks Anakin to make a choice. This one is a tad softer on the "anti Anakin" aspect of it, but the Jedi are portrayed as entirely within their rights to make Anakin choose which life he wants to live.

Stay by @amukmuk (2k): Commander Thorn has been helping Padme out in a No Order 66 AU as Padme's been dealing with her divorce from Anakin, and Padme finally comes to a decision about her feelings. I am an unrepentant Thornidala shipper, and as many problems as I tend to have with the way Padme's written and the implications about her as a character because of that, I also have a nostalgic attachment to her and wish she could just... have a happier healthier relationship with someone who ACTUALLY loves her and respects her. I would take an entire series of this AU, I'd read a longfic of this AU, but I will also happily accept this short sweet little peek into this AU and let my daydreams do the rest of the work.

The Burden of Secrets by @jedi-order-apologist (9k): In the aftermath of the Deception arc, Ahsoka discovers the truth about the Tusken massacre and confronts Anakin about it. This one is a little lighter on the "anti Anakin" elements, but his choices on Tatooine are very much called out for the horror that they are, as are Padme's for hiding it. The fic also delves a little bit into the Rako Hardeen arc, Obi-Wan's choices in it, and Anakin's reactions to it and how appropriate they are.

Consumed by Greed by virdant (900): Obi-Wan travels back in time to the beginning of Anakin's apprenticeship and tries everything to try to keep Anakin from joining the Sith, and fails until he comes to a crucial understanding about Anakin as a person. The concept of this is absolutely heart-wrenching, thinking about Obi-Wan going back over and over, changing everything about himself and the Jedi in an attempt to save Anakin, only to finally realize that the problem lies in who Anakin is at his heart, and he can't change that. The ending is a gutpunch, but it feels so absolutely true, too.

Justice by virdant (1k): Padme makes a different choice at the end of AOTC and decides to report Anakin's crimes on Tatooine to Obi-Wan instead of marrying Anakin. Obi-Wan confronts Anakin about what he's done in the aftermath and forces him to face the consequences of the choice he made. I really like that the concept here isn't just that Anakin gets kicked out of the Jedi and sort-of set loose upon the galaxy, but that either the Council or Obi-Wan decided Anakin also needed to face reparations ON TATOOINE, from the Tuskens themselves, and that Obi-Wan plans to ensure that it happens. Anakin cannot be a Jedi until he makes as many amends for that as he can, until he recognizes the truth of what he's done and accepts the responsibility for it, and even then there's no guarantee he could be a Jedi afterwards. Either way, the Jedi are not not the only people Anakin has hurt, and not the only people with the right to ask for reparations from Anakin.

The Cost by luvewan (5k): Anakin jumps off the gunship after Padme in Attack of the Clones and deals (badly) with the fatal consequences of that choice when Obi-Wan dies at Dooku's hand before Yoda can show up. So this has been a favorite of mine for just about as long as I can remember, predominantly because of just how tragic it is and the very realistic consequences of the choice Anakin makes here. This fic was written before Revenge of the Sith had come out, so none of the choices Anakin makes in that film are taken into account, but the accuracy with which Anakin absolutely unravels and devolves into darkness because he lets his guilt turn into anger that he turns on other people in the name of justice feels so immensely in character. Seeing it all happen from Padme's point of view as she watches Anakin's descent, knowing she's the reason it happened in the first place, is so devastatingly beautiful.

Spoiler Alert, He Doesn't Make It:

@glimmerglanger's fics are getting an entire section dedicated to them again. I'd honestly just recommend reading all of glimmerglanger's work, but here's some fics that specifically showcase (deadly) consequences to Anakin below (EDIT: this AO3 account was deleted several months after I made this list and so all of the links below are now broken. I am leaving this section in regardless, as a record of the incredible work glimmerglanger did and as a reminder of the consequences of online harassment):

A Treatise on Breaking and Repairs (60k): Anakin captures Obi-Wan shortly after Revenge of the Sith and it goes very badly for Obi-Wan. This shit's dark, y'all, and things get way worse before they get better, please mind the tags, there's a reason the series is labeled the oof!au. That being said, this fic is sort-of the peak example of what I want out of a really good hurt/comfort story, where both halves of that are equally emphasized.

But What We Make series (ongoing, 125.5k): Cody from post-Return of the Jedi travels back in time to just before Order 66 and this changes some things. My favorite part of this series (so far) is the way Obi-Wan, future-Cody, and present-Cody are all forced to come to terms with their respective traumas and relationships to each other and none of them are handling it perfectly, but none of them are treated as more or less important than the others either.

Convergence Zones (115.5k): A sort-of modern day fantasy Jedi AU where the clones are made of clay and brought to life via magic. It's a little hard to explain in like 20 words or less just read it, it's so great. The collaboration between the clones and Jedi in this is so sweet, and the worldbuilding of the "clones" in this verse is really good.

Haunt Me, Then (31k): Post Order 66, all the surviving clones can see their Jedi as Force ghosts except Cody and the 212th, and when Cody's chip breaks early he helps start a revolution to gain justice for their Jedi. Cody's going through it in this one, too, and things get pretty dark, but this is another really great catharsis fic if you're in the mood for that.

Make Your Bed (Lie in It) (58k): Cody and Obi-Wan share a bunk during the war and this changes some things. I love all the ways in which this AU moves events just SLIGHTLY to the left and then the butterfly effect impact afterwards. The Cody and Obi-Wan relationship development is also just impeccable.

Natural Wonders (56k): Shapeshifter modern AU with nature photographer Cody and park ranger Obi-Wan and a murder mystery they solve together. There's some really cool facts about Yellowstone National Park in this fic as a delightful bonus to the sweet relationshippy stuff and the fun murder mystery storyline.

Greater Than Your Hoarded Gold series by Quietbang (ongoing, 96k): Anakin doesn't burn on Mustafar AU where there is a different kind of rebellion in the galaxy post Order 66. This author focused in on and centered the Jewish elements to the Jedi and brought in more Jewish culture to the Jedi, which is so interesting to read. The shifting perspectives, including totally outside perspectives, on the Jedi and the situation in the galaxy at large, makes for a really cool story with some incredible worldbuilding.

Unmasked by @schizo-fractured (17k): Footage of the Temple during Order 66 is released and this causes a series of changes in the galaxy as they confront what REALLY happened to the Jedi and the person who caused it. This got recommended to me based on a post I made wishing we could've seen Beru and Owen learn the truth about Anakin and what might've changed for them as a result, and while that's not the singular plot of this fic, it is kind-of an example of the underlying theme of the entire thing. It's a nice almost wish-fulfillment style concept where the loss of Anakin Skywalker's good reputation allows the general populace to rise up in defense of those he betrayed in righteous rage. It's time for the galaxy to defend the Jedi for a change.

the time when stars align by @deniigi (7k): Cody accidentally adopts some young stormtroopers post Order 66 and escapes with them to the Rebellion after Vader finds a way to "cure" him of his accelerated aging. Cody goes through so much horror in this fic and is still so SO funny with the way he looks at the world and speaks to his loved ones, allowing this fic to still feel sweet and wholesome despite how awful Cody's life is and has been.

When Night Falls series by Penguin Kiwi (ongoing, 7k): Cin Drallig gets more of a warning in the Force just before Order 66 and is able to put up a defense of the Temple and stop Anakin at the steps. I love these AUs that allow more niche Jedi to shine through, especially when it means they get to defeat Anakin because the Force looked at Anakin's choices and decided to abandon him for a better option. The conversation between Cin and Obi-Wan in the second fic really hits home, too.

The Jedi Deserve Better:

grow bold in a barren and desolate land by @blackkatmagic (5k): Mace survives Order 66 and Anakin's betrayal and stages a rescue for two clones left in prison who he knows never would've had their chips activated: Slick and Dogma. This has literally the barest mention of Anakin, but that mention is that Mace could easily beat Anakin in a fair fight, so I'm including it anyway. This is another one of those AUs I could read an entire longfic or series for and be eternally happy. There's a follow-up to this fic that's more explicitly Mace/Slick which is by no means ever a ship I had ever even considered before, but it works SO WELL here and gives me some interesting feelings. I'm also just always down for Dogma being treated kindly and getting a happier ending than canon chose to give him.

i am creation, both haunted and holy by @blackkatmagic (800): A'Sharad Hett makes a visit to Kamino where he meets Alpha-17 and finds they share an opinion about Anakin Skywalker. I'm so intrigued by A'Sharad Hett as a character and wish there was more content written about and for him. A'Sharad and Alpha-17 bonding over thinking Anakin Skywalker is an entitled selfish jerk is the best possible beginning to a ship, I'll be honest.

that was a spring of storms by @blackkatmagic (unfinished, 9k): When Alderaan is destroyed by the Death Star, Leia's grief causes herself, Luke, and Bail Organa to travel back in time to 8 months into the Clone Wars, where they are determined to ensure things go a little differently. This fic is only 2 chapters in, so I don't know precisely what kind of consequences Anakin may or may not end up getting, which is why it's in this category, but unsurprisingly neither Bail nor Leia are feeling particularly benevolent towards him and it is so incredibly satisfying. But holy FUCK am I hooked to this entire concept. Bail and Leia's relationship is heart-wrenching as all get out, Bail's protective instincts towards the Jedi absolutely kills me, and I'm so intrigued by these ship tags!

The Crime of Grief Series by @feybarn (ongoing, 34k): Padme goes into labor early while on the way to Mustafar, so neither she nor Obi-Wan ever make it there, and they go on the run with Rex and Ahsoka afterwards instead. Sides are drawn in the aftermath of Anakin's choices that causes friction among them before they can find healing. There's a large emphasis in this series that Anakin's choices are, in fact, HIS CHOICES, and the blame for them cannot be placed on anyone but Anakin, as well as the conundrum of whether it truly matters whether Anakin's got good left in him or not and if it's even worth it to try to save him.

吃飽了嗎? | Have you eaten your fill? series by virdant (1.5k): A look at Obi-Wan and his experience of Jedi culture through food. Virdant's fics focus in on the Asian influences in the Jedi and builds out their culture from there. Not every fic in this series is explicitly anti-Anakin, but a few of them are more critical of Anakin's view of the Jedi and his unwillingness to understand their culture or point of view.

things the way we want them to be by virdant (600): No Order 66 AU, where a teenaged Leia talks to Obi-Wan about the struggles she's having with Anakin as a father and the future she knows she (and Luke) should've had but weren't allowed. Leia is just absolutely heartbreaking in this, and Obi-Wan's inability to truly help her the way they both want is equally so. It's a devastating look at a possible less happy future even in a happy fix-it AU because leaving the Jedi would never be enough to "fix" Anakin.

Not This Crude Matter series by @talesfromthebitterbeast (53k): The clones have picked up some misconceptions about the Jedi which causes the Jedi to distance themselves from the clones, even after the war ends in a happy fix-it AU. The fics showcase the situation from multiple different perspectives as misunderstandings abound, but is always firmly on the side of the Jedi. I really like the way the Jedi relationships are showcased here, the ways they communicate and lean on each other even in the face of being misunderstood and misrepresented by people they'd hoped would understand them better than anyone else.

Harmonic Oscillation by @jessepinwheel (2k): Originally a short tumblr fic that has since been posted to AO3. Obi-Wan time travels back to the Clone War era and confronts Anakin about what he's done. I always love getting to see Obi-Wan refuse to let Anakin get away with his bullshit and finally see Anakin for the piece of shit that he is.

Released by @jedi-order-apologist (6k): Cody is rescued from the Empire post-Return of the Jedi and has to come to terms with everything he's happened to him now that he's at the end of his life and spent the majority of it brainwashed and enslaved to the Empire. This is a fic I come back to a lot because I really love the way Cody works through what's happened to him and the way he's viewed from an outside perspective via Luke. I also really love how the relationship between Cody and Obi-Wan isn't made explicitly romantic, but is portrayed as immensely important and meaningful to both of them, regardless of how you choose to view it.

Knightrise by @deviantaccumulation (unfinished, 89k): Obi-Wan and Yoda choose not to try to fight Anakin or Sidious and instead retreat to Mandalore to attempt to rebuild the Jedi Order as much as they can there under Satine's protection. This is an AU where Maul genuinely dies on Naboo which is a major plus in my book all on its own, quite honestly. There's some interesting political aspects in this for how the Jedi Order attempts to rebuild an actual community within Mandalore, with Mandalore still being a member of the Neutral Systems, and the Empire having risen already and all of the ensuing issues with that.

|keep the wolves away| by littlekaracan (unfinished, 46k): Obi-Wan and Yoda find Reva in the Temple and she accompanies Obi-Wan to Tatooine where they have to survive and recover together while watching over and protecting Luke. This is such a brilliant character study into Reva as a young child survivor of Order 66, being taken care of by someone who loves her but is equally as traumatized by the same event and the way that shapes their relationship and Reva's upbringing. I love her SO SO MUCH and I adore her perspective as she struggles to figure out what it means to be a Jedi in a world where being a Jedi openly means certain death but it's the last connection she has to her home, her family, and her culture.

our caches and constellations by johanneb (98k): "Eleven years ago, the Jedi order got wind of the closing pincers of a Sith trap and scattered to the remote corners of the galaxy. Ten years ago, millions of clone commanders and troopers were introduced as the Republic’s new Army, made for fighting a war alongside people the galaxy seemed to be forgetting ever existed." I couldn't come up with a better way to explain the fic than its own summary, but Cody and the 212th pick up Obi-Wan and Luke on Tatooine, while Senator Organa has to figure out how to get himself, Leia, and Leia's "tutor" to a rebel base without their two new Coruscant Guard escorts figuring out exactly how disloyal to the Republic they actually are. I absolutely SLAMMED through this fic, it's so good. Despite some of its heavier themes, it's honestly very sweet and wholesome with lots of cute Luke and Leia, some incredibly wonderful romances, and really interesting worldbuilding for this just slightly to the left version of the gffa. Anakin never makes an appearance in this, but he does get mentioned a few times for his betrayal and his part in the current state of the galaxy, and I REALLY loved that at no point in this fic was it ever important to either twin who their biological parents were.

ring the bells that can still ring by rain_sleet_snow (22k): Reva's been working with the Rebellion in-between the events of the Kenobi show and A New Hope, but when she hears Obi-Wan has made an appearance recently and goes to try to find him, she discovers Luke and Leia instead, with nobody left to train them but her. This fic was like a warm bread roll or a perfectly brewed cup of tea, it was just absolutely wholesome and exactly everything I could have wanted from this concept. The relationships between Luke, Leia, and Reva are both hilarious and sweet while allowing their respective traumas to still remain relevant to their journey together. Their discussions about Darkness, Reva's past, Obi-Wan, Anakin, the Jedi, and the events of A New Hope are all heart-wrenching and really feel so in-character but also so in line with the tone of the original trilogy. I could sit here and list things I liked about this fic all day, but it'd be faster to just read it yourself.

[thedirtygridd]

CHARLES LECLERC’S BREAK-UP STORY…FEATURING YOU (FIC) PART 1

WARNINGS: 18+ Strong sexual content/Fictional

Summary: As per the breaking news today, Charles Leclerc has broken up with his girlfriend and he invites you (you are a close friend of Charles) onto his yacht for what you think is a party with his friends to help him feel better…but it turns out to be a lot more than that, and so does your “friendship”…

You found out about the news that Charles and Charlotte had split up on Instagram, while walking in the streets of Monaco on a December afternoon. You couldn’t believe it. You had been friends with Charles for a few years now, you were good friends and you knew him well. It took you by surprise that they split, because their relationship always seemed so strong. You quickly WhatsApp messaged Charles after reading the news.

“Hey CL, I’m so sorry about the news. I’m here if you need any support x��

You pressed send and you immediately saw that he had read the message. “Wow he’s keen!” You thought. He started typing…

“Thanks for the message. Support would be great, maybe come join me and a few others on my yacht later? I’m taking it out for the night, need to clear my head”

You immediately responded saying that you’d definitely join him on his yacht, who could turn that down! And that you’d meet him after you had got changed. Just as you were putting your phone back in your handbag, you noticed he had sent another message.

“Wear a bikini.” the message said. Nothing more, nothing less. You thought that was a bit strange, but of course you’d do as he said, maybe he was planning on having some fun jumping off his yacht and swimming later on.

You quickly went back to your apartment and picked out your favourite bikini - it really didn’t leave much to the imagination. Your body looked insane in it.

Time passed and you eventually pulled up in the harbour and arrived at Charles’ yacht “Monza”

You had been on it before, it was incredible. So big inside, so modern…and so expensive. You stepped onboard, as the yacht immediately started to sail. You could hear music coming from inside, and you noticed a few pairs of high heels on the deck near where you stepped onboard. You slipped your own shoes off as the staff welcomed you onboard. “Charles has asked us to sail out to the cove tonight, he’s in his private area, with a few of his guests if you’d like to join him….” The kind man mentioned.

You found it so cool how he paid people to run his yacht. It was almost like being in a fairytale, he had the dream life. But you still couldn’t forget how much he’d be hurting right now after his separation with Charlotte. You still felt sorry for him and couldn’t wait to give him a friendly hug. As you started walking, another member of staff offered you a glass of champagne. “Charles requested this for his guests. Please enjoy your evening” he said while you wondered into the long corridor that led to his bedroom.

You noticed the music was getting slightly louder as you wondered down the corridor. You noticed even more high heels, dropped all over the floor as you stepped over them.

“Who is Charles with?” You wondered. “Who has he invited to this get together?”

You pulled on the handle of the door to his private bedroom…but it was locked. You could hear strange noises coming from inside over the beat of the music. “Hello! Charles! Let me in!” You shouted as you knocked on the wooden door.

A few seconds past and finally the door slowly opened, you stepped in to be greeted by another girl, wearing her very own small bikini. She was very attractive, you’d never seen her with Charles before. “Hey, charles asked me to come see him, is he in here?”

“Oh yes…he is. But our job is to cheer him up, he was in a foul mood before, are you ready?” the girl said

You thought this was all very strange, you didn’t know who this girl was. She then leant in and gave you a kiss on the cheek. “Emily by the way…” she said. As she came closer you noticed how her skin was completely covered in oil…

“What’s the oil about?” You wondered. The girl smirked and took your hand gently and guided you towards the next door, which took you into where his bedroom was. The noises were now getting louder, you tried to see if you could recognise any voices as you stepped towards the door. You could make out girls giggling and what sounded like Charles giving out the occasional deep groan.

“FUCK!” You heard Charles shout before laughing. “Get yourself down…” he added.

What was going on? You wondered. Your head was full of things Racing round. What did Charles invite you to?

And then the door opened and you stepped inside the low lit room. The room also smelt sweaty, as if people had been exercising in there.

This is when you couldn’t believe your eyes… Charles was lying down on his bed, surrounded by naked girls. You counted 4 around his naked body and then a 5th girl was squatting on his face. You could see his tongue smothering her ass as she squatted on him. The girls were pouring hot oil all over each other, while making out with each other and rubbing Charles’ hard cock with it. The bed was drenched wet with oil. Bikini bottoms all over the floor and the bed. You could hear the girls juices slosh around as Charles licked inside her. You noticed drips smothering his face, getting caught in his stubble. You were so shocked…but also so intrigued.

“Oh f-f…uck” charles said while almost choking himself on the other girls juices. She squatted off his face and sat down next to him, completely wrapping her tanned oily legs over his hard abs. “Listen girls…” charles said over the music , you could tell he was quite tipsy. “Listen…this is my good friend…she’s come to join us.” He got distracted as he said this because another girl had placed her ass near his reach, you saw his eyes wonder to her before grunting and giving it a hard SLAP. The sound echoed in the room. “Mhm, good girl” he said while biting his lip. His hand had already left a red imprint on her left cheek, before he continued, while rubbing another girls oily legs. “…This is my good friend, like I-I- said. Come join us baby” he said while lying back down. At the same time, another girl got into place and squatted onto his face. He immediately began smothering his tongue all over her ass and in between the crease of her lips.

You stood there, shocked. You didn’t know what to do. “Charles…I think I’m gonna go upstairs again…”

As you turned to the door, you heard a thud, and before you could even turn around, Charles placed his hands on your waist.

“Hey, hey…” he whispered gently. He had to focus on what he was saying, due to his tipsiness. He turned you to face him as his hands wondered around your body. “Come onnnn, let’s have some fun. Fuck what anyone thinks, this is about all of us. Let’s just fuck…”

You couldn’t believe what he was saying, you had always been great friends, and only friends. You never even dreamt of being with him, it was never in the question.

“You want to know a secret?” He said while another girl rubbed oil into his muscly, sweaty back and wide shoulders.

He brought himself closer to you, as he did, you felt his hard cock hit your leg. “I’ve always wanted to fuck the hell out of you…” he whispered. At the same time, you felt his dick throb and some of his pre-cum drip out. “Here, let’s have a toast…” he grabbed your champagne glass from your hand.

“To fucking!…” he toasted, while the other girls giggled and continued rubbing him up. He took a sip of the champagne before immediately coming into kiss you. As he kissed you, you realised he hadn’t swallowed all of the alcohol. As you made out with him, you traded champagne and saliva between each of your mouths, you felt him untying your bikini as he did it. His tongue was warm and slimy, it felt so good. You enjoyed the warm feeling of his saliva drip into your mouth. You were instantly turned on. His thick fingers had made it down to your pussy and he decided to go straight in there, while you stood making out. You felt his fingers slide deep inside you, right on your G-spot as he wiggled them around. He started with two fingers , but you quickly felt a third slip inside. He was already stretching you out. You grabbed his oily back , struggling to get a firm grip on him, as he finger fucked you.

“Fuck….fuck charles” you said before he picked you up. You quickly lost balance as he carried you, and found yourself grabbing hold of his oily, rock hard biceps as he tensed them while carrying you. He quickly dropped you onto the bed, and spread your legs wide open.

He didn’t wait around, he licked four of his fingers before rubbing his dick in between them, and then he slipped it inside of you. He was so huge, his dick stretched open your tight walls as he forced himself into you. He picked up a full bottle of champagne at this point, took a massive gulp out of it, and then opened his mouth and spit it out onto you. The champagne covered your tits and your belly, the bed was now covered in sweat, oil and champagne. It was chaos.

He continued to thrust his hard cock into you, you couldn’t help but think how lucky Charlotte was to have this man, and how sorry you felt that she couldn’t have him anymore. But that thought was quickly replaced with the intense feeling of you squirting on Charles’ thick cock. You sprayed his abs and chest as you released your fluid. He pulled out of you so he could fully feel your spray.

Once you had stopped, you saw him smothering his hands around his body, rubbing your juices into his pores. You noticed his finger rings had become fully smothered with your juices.

“Suck me off!” he said to the girl next to him. She got down on her knees and took his wet cock into her mouth. He firmly pushed himself inside of her mouth, and held himself there for a few seconds. The girl was gagging on it, spit was flying out the side of her mouth, and Charles was loving every second, you could see it in his eyes.

He pulled himself out of her mouth, and quickly bent down to kiss her. His tongue fully smothered around her mouth and in her mouth. He was determined to lick up all her spit.

He then stood back up, leaving that girl on the floor, and picked up another one. He pushed her against the wall behind the bed and fucked her hard. You could see how intense it was. His back was now covered in red scratches…where we had all been scraping and grabbing him uncontrollably as he fucked us out.

He pulled himself out of the other girl and immediately said “fuck…I’m, i’m really close” you could see sweat dripping off his forehead, and collecting at the side of his nose. Part of you wanted to lick it off him. But before you could even suggest it, he ordered you all to get on your knees. You all did as he said, and he pushed all your faces close together before standing over you and taking long jerks of his wet cock. It didn’t take long before he started to position himself even closer to you all. He aimed his cock right in front of all your faces, before he let out a groan and then released ribbons of white cum , which came shooting out his throbbing tip. You felt your face get covered with his warm milk as you knelt before him. You smelt the scent of it as well as it hit you. The other girls were quick to react to the impressive load by moaning “mhm, fuck yes Charles , give it us…give us your cum. We want it”

And he did…he continued to shoot out cum for at least 10 seconds. Once he stopped he stood there watching us all. The girls , and you, were scooping up the cum like it was gold, sliding it in between your fingers before sucking it off. You noticed how every girl reacted in the same way. They all treated this man like a god. They all wanted his cum.

But Charles was staring at you in particular, and paying the attention to you now. He didn’t seem to notice the other girls, as you sucked a ribbon of cum off your index finger. It tasted warm and salty, it tasted good.

“Come with me” he said to you while reaching his hand out to collect you. He pulled you up, you were still half covered in his cum. You could feel it slowly dripping down your body. He led you to the bathroom, And guided you into the shower. He locked the door behind as he turned the shower on. The water fell like it would in a waterfall, such a posh shower. Marble all over the floor.

“That was fun…but I gotta admit, I’ve had my eyes on your especially” he brought himself closer as he said it , before giving you a kiss. You noticed his face was full of all sorts of slime, but you didn’t care. It was dirty and sexy. He kissed you again before adding “I’ve always wanted to do that with you. I felt like we’ve always had a bond…and yes I know I’m fucking drunk…but I want to do this more with you. See where it goes…” he continued to kiss you. The water from the shower was now dripping down his hair and on his face, it ran down across his sharp jawline. You placed your hands on the side of his wet face as you kissed. You could feel his cock getting hard again on your leg.

“Fuck! I’m horny…” you both said at the same time before bursting out laughing. He missed you some more before turning you around and pushing the palm of his hand on the arch of your back. He pushed your body forward as you stood there, almost putting your face into the wall of the shower. And then you felt his cock enter you again , this time as he fucked you from behind.

He fucked you even faster than he did before, you both groaned as he thrust inside. You felt even tighter from this angle, and he felt even bigger (if that was even possible.) This is when Charles mentioned “I’m gonna fucking cum again…”

You had to quickly interrupt…

“But….b-b-b…Charles! I’m not on birth control…”

As you said it, you felt his cock fill up to breaking point , and then it burst. You felt even more warm, thick ribbons of his milk filling you up

“Fuuuuuck yeah” he groaned as he clenched on your ass cheeks

“Shit, charles…” you said

He turned you back round to face him. He looked exhausted. He had water dripping down his face , his hair was soaked through and very messy

“Charles, I’m not on birth control…” you laughed nervously to try and relieve the stress of the fact…

He wasn’t fully listening, he was too caught up in the lust of the moment.

“I want to fuck you like this every day, you’re fucking beautiful” he said. His cock was still hard at this point, still throbbing, and still dripping with a mixture of cum and pre-cum. You didn’t know how he wasn’t fully empty by now.

“Oh Charles…you’re so cute” you said while wrapping your arms round his scratch- covered, muscly back. “Look at the state of your delicious back” you said to him “full of scratches” you found it hard not to get too turned on by the feeling of his body, it was still all too new a feeling for you to grasp.

“Worth it though” he cheekily said while holding you in his arms. You could tell he was starting to get tired now.

You stood there with the water dripping down both of your warm bodies, as you felt his cum inside you. He had fully filled you up, and you weren’t on any birth control…

You thought to yourself “I came here to try and cheer him up after his hard break up, and now he could’ve impregnated me…on the same day that he split up with Charlotte….” You stood and stared into space as the thoughts wizzed around your head….

What if…………?

To be continued…

[mochiwrites]

mochi i always appreciate how friendly u are, u answer so many different asks, even if u don’t agree with the content ur very understanding and are empathic towards the other person, which is a very earnest and kind thing to do. ur able to match the vibes of asks as well, making sure ppl feel hyped up, which makes them feel more confident in themselves, especially because it can be a bit of a vulnerable thing to put ur self out there. u either have an understanding of this, or are naturally inclined to support the other person, both of which reflect really well on you

ur also incredibly talented, creative, and smart. you have multiple sometimes long running aus and ideas that you’ve slowly chipped away at, it’s incredibly admirable, especially considering you are a student. ur frequent updates just show how strong of a writer u are, and i’m sure whatever u do with ur degree ur gonna do amazing things. your also super emotionally in touch with yourself-likely one of the reasons why u perused psych- and are able to communicate ur feelings well, in a very graceful way, it’s a very strong thing to set boundaries with an audience, cause in some way admitting something isn’t working is kind of scary (at least to some) so i’m really proud of u for it. (and a side note- anyone who doesn’t respect or tries to overdramatize u protecting yourself when ur obviously having some personal conflicts needs to take a deep breath, u give them a lot more understanding and gentleness, and it shows well on ur part)

all that being said as well it is up to u what u respond to and engage with, and i truly hope you don’t ever push yourself uncomfortably for any reason out of obligation. i hope that u support ur self first. it’s not a crime to prioritize yourself, i promise. (i don’t know u personally, so i would have no way of knowing if this is something you would struggle with, but just in case wanted to include it lol)

yea! ur great mochi keep being amazing pspsps have some cat treats

taking the cat treats ty ty

but also ;w; thank you <333 this is really sweet and I genuinely teared up reading it dvdbfbfgtb wahhhhh

I think being kind and empathetic is just… really important y’know? and I try to be as friendly and open as I can with people because I know that it can be scary sometimes when you throw out an idea or even send a message to someone you’re not familiar with or know on a personal level. it’s that general idea of treat people how you want to be treated. with any luck, the kindness I extend to others will eventually come back around to me. I like supporting people and encouraging them <33 I guess I just try to be the person I wish I had while growing up

I wasn’t a very confident kid, didn’t have a lot of friends, and was terrified of the people around me. so I really do get and understand the vulnerability that comes with putting yourself out there. and !!! even if I don’t agree with something suggested, I try to be gentle in my approach to it. I just like being kind to people dbfbfbfhtg

and wahhhhh thank you ;w; writing is just something that I’ve always done alongside school so it feels super natural to do the two at once :D I’ve always been like ??? weirdly in tune with my emotions and how I’m feeling (I feel REALLY strongly, it’s insane how emotional of a person I am), and yeah!!! it was partly why I pursued psych as a major. but setting boundaries was definitely not a thing I was good at while growing up ^^; I think I only started to get good at it within the last few years honestly. but I’m definitely not afraid to sit down and say that something isn’t working. I try to look at from two views: it’s not fun for me if I’m working on something I’m unhappy with, which means it’s not fun for others as well. and I only want to write things that I’m proud of and passionate about, meaning I’m motivated :D

and it helps knowing that if I restart, I can make something a lot better <3 trial and error is an important part of learning !!!

but ueueue I never feel an obligation to interact with something that makes me uncomfortable or anything like that !!! I love the interactions I get, and feel really lucky that I’m able to share my stuff with so many people and have the same love for my work echoed back at me 🥹💕💕

[fridamoss]

Is This The Love (That I'm Feelin'?) | Bob Floyd X Loot (PART 3)

Archive of Our Own // Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6

Summary: Bob & Loot get to know each other, in a closet.

Warnings: Curse words.

Word count: 2,128

It was midnight. Your eyes stung in the bright light of your phone screen. You had been texting Bob for the last couple of days on and off and he was being so incredibly sweet. Each time your phone lit up with a message, you got a little flutter in your stomach.

Tapping out ‘good night Bob :*’ with one eye open, you didn’t even drop the phone before you fell asleep.

That evening after work, you’d been determined to hit the gym. One of your favourite things to do was get into your cutest workout outfit, smash out some reps with your headphones on (absolutely no one should utter one syllable in your direction). Focusing on yourself for 45 minutes a day was the least you could do, especially with how busy work had been lately. Rolling over in your sleep you felt the ache run down the back of your legs and into your butt, jolting you awake. Your first thought was Bob, his hair blowing about from the wind rushing through the open windows in your car. Sleep found you again, wrapping you up in its comforting arms. Arms that turned into Bob reaching for you, holding you against him while he stroked your hair, telling you it was so pretty.

You woke up smiling but frustrated. Sweet, sexy dreams made you horny. And you were real fucking horny for Robert Floyd. You had a half hour to get ready for work, no way you’d fit in any kind of self pleasure. Another long day at work while sexually frustrated, your vibrator was well loved but it was no match for what you imagined Bob doing to you.

Waiting for the water to heat up in the shower, you looked through last nights conversation with Bob. It was just a regular conversation, absolutely nothing sexy at all which made you hotter for him. He was respectful, never pushing you for anything. You couldn’t count the amount of guys that ask for a nude photo right off the bat.

Honestly, you couldn’t wait to get to that stage with Bob. You let out an exasperated moan at the thoughts of his cheeks flaming red when he caught sight of the imaginary underwear selfie picture you’d send him while he was at work. Whoo boy. You and he needed to talk face to face real fucking soon.

*****

Bob checked his phone about 20 times in 1 minute. Phoenix glared at him across the table. ‘Just text her, you loser!’

‘I can’t! She didn’t reply to my last message, I don’t wanna be a jerk.’

Phoenix sighed, feeling bad for her back-seater, he had it bad for this girl.

‘Give me your phone and I will send her a message,’ reaching over to make a swipe at his phone. Bob held it back, flummoxed, ‘what would you say?’

Gosh he really was clueless.

‘I’d say “Hey Loot, fancy grabbing lunch with me today?”

Rolling his eyes, Bob mumbled ‘That’s not bad actually…’ trailing off as he heard the chair next to him scrape against the floor.

‘You asking me on a lunch date, Nat?’

Bob looked at you, mouth agape before swallowing hard. You could see a flush in his cheeks already. How has this man made it so far in life?

‘Nah, but Bob is.’ Phoenix nodded toward him and settled back in her seat, thoroughly pleased with herself.

‘Morning Bob,’ you said softly, one side of your mouth lifting into a smile the way he liked so much.

‘Yeah lunch. Wanna do lunch?’ He sounded so unsure.

‘Totally, I’m in the mood for a burrito today.’

Bob nodded, smiling from ear to ear before turning back to face the front of the class.

*****

Bob felt his stomach rumbling as he sat at an empty table waiting for you. Scanning the room for anyone he might know, he picked out quite a few familiar faces. None of them yours. You were only a few minutes late. Checking his phone again for a new message, he was a little disappointed.

Loot: I’m caught up here, can you grab me a burrito and I’ll meet you there asap x

That little ‘x’. It was friendly, not necessarily romantic.

You’re overthinking every little thing, he thought. Now your nerves are shot!

Bob didn’t curse a whole lot but he felt he needed to right now. He hadn’t eaten at all day, he’d been too nervous.

When you walked through he door, his stomach did a somersault. You looked around until you spotted him, giving him a little wave and a smile as you made your way to the table.

‘Thanks for the burrito. So sorry I’m late.’

Bob waved the apology away. ‘You look nice today.’

‘So do you.’

‘Oh and extra guac on the side! Bob you are a dream.’

‘You said you liked things on the side for dipping,’ he nodded, remembering your animated monologue about lubricating your food with dips.

‘Handsome, smart and a good listener. I like having you around.’ You got right into that burrito. Bob watched you until he decided he looked a bit creepy.

‘You not hungry?’ Quizzically pointing over at his untouched lunch.

‘I am, I am.’ He forced down a mouthful. ‘Listen, I enjoyed our time together last week.’

Bob could see your face fall a little, ‘but?’

‘But?’ Bob repeated your question. ‘No, no but. I’m trying to ask you out again. You know? The boat idea?’

You sat back in your chair, relieved. ‘Why my mind go to rejection immediately?’

‘It’s usually me as the rejectee, not the rejecter.’ Bob shrugged.

A silence sat between you for a beat, you were both smiling at each other.

‘We can skip the boat date and go straight to making out in the supplies closet down the hall.’ You said it so casually that Bob glanced around to see if anyone had overheard.

‘The supply closet just down that hallway?’

“mmhmm,’ you kept eating.

Bob had seen people sneaking in and out of that closet, he was no fool, he just never thought it would be him sneaking in there.

Bob stood suddenly, towering over you in all of his 6 foot glory. He nodded his head toward the exit, face unreadable.

There was no mistaking what he was insinuating. You widened your eyes in response, squeezing your legs together in anticipation.

It was less than two minutes that Bob had been standing in the closet, neatly stacked shelves of cleaning products up to the ceiling, the chipped linoleum was spotless, he kicked at the worn out spot beneath him with the toe of his boot. Were you coming or was this a joke at his expense? It wouldn’t have been the first time a girl had told him to meet her somewhere and never show up.

Bob knew you weren’t like them, you weren’t mean. You were sweet. You and your bright smile, soft hair and wet mouth.

He looked up startled when the door was flung open, he almost expected to see a superior officer standing on the threshold, demanding to know why he was standing in a closet alone. But it was you. A breeze of your perfume came in right along with you, pulling the door closed, you kept your hand on on the knob. ‘You look surprised. But…you did invite me here, right?’ Voice like smoked caramel, that’s all he could think as he watched your mouth. He was hardly listening to what you were saying. He just wanted your mouth on his.

‘C’mere.’ Bob reached out a hand, placing it at the back of your neck, pulling you toward him. Lips meeting a crash. Soft sucking noises turned to heaving breathing, tongues moving against each other hesitantly.

Bob’s free hand grabbed at your waist, pulling you impossibly close. He had been making ‘mmm’ noises frequently enough to make you smile.

‘What are you smiling about?’ His voice muffled in your mouth, kissing down the column of your throat to let you answer, Bob just wanted to keep you close, keep kissing you. Hot skin under your collar turning damp as he sucked a little bruise right where no one but you would see when you took your shirt off.

‘I’m smiling coz I’m kissin’ you Bob. I’ve been thinking about you and me and doing this. And you make these sweet sounds when we’re making out.’ You had your head tipped back, eyes closed, both of your hands were now pulling at the back of his shirt, hoping to feel his skin, even just a sliver would do.

Bob’s mouth left your collarbone, he looked up at you through those birth control glasses, his lips moving like he was saying something that you couldn’t hear. ‘I…I…what?’ Cheeks pink under the horrid fluorescent light. His eyes were dazed, like he was waking up from a sweet dream.

‘You make these happy sounds in your throat,’ finger tips reaching out to touch his adam’s apple. ‘It really fuckin’ turns me on.’

Bob swallowed hard, not sure what to say. So he said nothing, he grabbed your chin and brought his mouth to yours in a desperate kiss.

‘How long we got left before lunch is done?’ Tongues meeting, hot breath fanning across your faces. You slipped your hands out of the white t-shirt Bob was wearing under his khaki shirt. He whimpered. ‘Probably cutting it close right now.’

Bob pressed his forehead to yours, making an effort to slow his breathing. Blood was rushing in his ears, cock straining against his zipper. He was dying to ask you to grab a hold of him but here was not the place and now was not the time.

It was you that moved first, holding your hands against his shoulders, ‘as much as I’d love to continue, we definitely need to get out of here and pretend like we weren’t sucking the face off of each other.’ A small laugh was shared between you.

‘I’ll go first, see if the coast is clear.’ Bob nodded in agreement, he needed a sec to adjust himself. He reached out for your hand, giving it a little squeeze. You squeezed back in a silent promise, ‘I’ll talk to you real soon.’

Your lips were a little swollen, your love bite only partially visible before you did up your button. Turning to say goodbye, you watched for a moment as Bob stuffed the back of his shirt back into his pants. If it were at all possible for you to be more horny for this man right now, he winked at you. He fucking winked at you.

Knees like jelly and a tide of arousal hitting you between your legs, you stuck your head out of the door and nodded.

‘Later Floyd.’

‘Yeah, see you later, Loot.’ Bob whispered, heart in his throat, wishing that you were still here.

You had been sitting at your desk for twenty minutes, sipping an impossibly hot coffee when your phone buzzed in your pocket. Deciding to ignore it, you were really trying to concentrate on the words on the screen, but your phone buzzed again.

Sighing, you took it out and saw two messages from Bob. A smile came easily, but you tried to keep your face neutral.

Bob: Ok, I rented a boat for Saturday, a row boat.

Bob: I’ll wear a sleeveless shirt so you can see my rippling muscles.

If there was no one else around, there would be some serious squeals of excitement filling the room. But you were a professional, so you smirked as you thought about how daring he must have felt to flirt with you over text. How bold he was to organise another date.

Loot: Perfect. But, I’ll only go if you don’t wear a shirt at all.

Bob: But then you’ll see my nipples.

You couldn’t help it, you giggled, causing your uber-serious desk neighbour to scowl at you.

Loot: Would you feel better if I didn’t wear a shirt either? That way our nipples could meet.

Bob saw your message and his throat dried up, Fanboy leaned over his shoulder, ‘hey who are you texting? Is it Loot? Tell her I said hi!’ Fanboy was forever cheerful.

‘Not the right time for that,’ Bob grumbled, moving his phone away from his friends view.

He’d never been good at flirting and he certainly had never been pursued by a woman like you, he wanted to get this right.

Bob: Whatever you wish, ma’am. I’m game.

His heart fluttered when you sent back a kiss emoji. He would row that boat naked for hours if it got him another make out session with you.

[pretensesoup]

Queer books, day 30/30

Okay I have owed this post for like a while now. This was supposed to be over July 1st and I didn't do it and now it's hanging over my head like some kind of sword situation.

So like I did write this, and I do feel a little bad for promoting it here, but on the other hand it's a really good book and I have to tell people about it.

Dionysus in Wisconsin follows Ulysses Lenkov and Sam Sterling around Madison in late 1969. Ulysses is a grad student in the Department of Magic Studies, with all the regrets and avoidant behavior that entails, but also a magician and a member of the magic community in Madison, and he tries to help the people he runs into. (Also ghosts. He helps ghosts.) At the beginning, he gets a warning that something big/dangerous/bad is coming, and quickly figures out that the something is tied to Sam somehow. Sam is an otherwise very innocuous archivist who works at the State Historical Society and is involved in community theater in his spare time.

Side note, I learned that there is a woman in my aikido dojo who also works for the historical society and I feel weird about having written about it, but as she said herself, "It's a weird place."

After initial suspicion, the two of them work together to fight demons and try to figure out how to deal with the something, which turns out to be Dionysus (yes, the god) who is set to take over Sam's body.

Key quote:

Oh, also it's funny. Not quite a romcom (unless com means communism), but it's funny.

Anyway, this was a book that I wrote because I really wanted to read a romance that didn't have a third-act breakup, where there was a lot of chemistry and vibes between the MCs, no homophobia to worry about really, and also there was like magic and creepy stuff going on in the plot, and the plot had like a satisfying conclusion to it, which doesn't always happen in romances. And then I populated the book with people who were people that I know--the kind of weird Madison people I run into every day. I have a lot of mixed feelings about Wisconsin in general (like, it's not bad if you don't mind sometimes it's -20 degrees F and there's a lot of liberals but also a lot of NIMBYism and I could fill a dictionary with the sins of the city, that's not the point), but I have come to a renewed appreciation of the place after writing about it. For example, the house Ulysses's family lives in is real, it looks like this, it's in a place that's really called Mansion Hill, and I just find it incredibly funny to let a large family of Bohemian Bolsheviks live in it.

Anyway, 10/10, go read it. You can buy it on Amazon, or on other platforms (the ebook is $3.99, the paperback is $13.99), or if you want a signed copy you can send me a message. I'm selling them for $15. Also, I have free postcards of the cover if you would like one.

In the Madison area, there are (or were) copies at Kismet Books in Verona (an extremely trans- and queer-friendly store and super adorable!) and A Room of One's Own might have sold their copy but they can order it if they have the ISBN.

(Oh, I painted the cover, too. You can get it on a T-shirt or a sticker if you like that kind of thing.)

[thousand-winters]

How do you think Darius and Eberwolf met?

HELLO, HI, I LOVE THIS QUESTION (I also just remembered I have a wip of that I completely forgot about oops)

See, I find very sweet the possibility that they might have met when they were both children, even if that meant they drifted apart at some point and then reunited, but most of the time I headcanon that they met at the coven.

Despite Eberwolf becoming a Coven Head, I feel like they might have faced some prejudice because it doesn't seem like demons truly hold an equal position in society on the Boiling Isles, other than the bipedal demons, but that's still just one of three types of what seems to be an incredibly abundant race in the demon realm. Now, of course Eber has to be a bipedal demon, he can do magic and, well, he's bipedal, but he does look a lot more beastly than other bipedal demons, so I think there's a good possibility that he's part bipedal, part beast demon, which wouldn't give him a very good standing.

He's powerful, however, and bringing him in as a Coven Head is probably good for an image of "anyone can become a Coven Head" if Belos was going for the publicity angle, though mostly I imagine he must have cared about him being powerful since the Head Witches were the catalysts for the draining spell. We know how the rest of the Coven heads were though, and I don't think they particularly cared for being kind even to one of their peers.

So here's what I'm getting at: Because of all of that and the fact that Eberwolf doesn't speak the "common" language on the Isles, I think to a certain point no one was bothering with them too much, with a general attitude at the castle being like "ah, let someone else deal with that beast", more passive aggressive that straight up rude. Now, I doubt Darius was even interested on them at the beginning, too busy trying to figure out what had happened to his mentor, or being a little bit depressed, or both. He would have learned by this point that connections at the castle are a big no-no anyway.

But "he doesn't give me the time of day" is still better than "he sees me as lesser" so I like to think Eber latched onto that and kinda went "oh, it's too late, you're never getting rid of me now", and no matter how irritated Darius seemed to be, he was still irritated because of Eber's behavior, not because of his nature, so Eber was delighted 😭

I tend to think that there's scarce people who can truly understand Eberwolf, most of them getting by with written messages or rough signing, and Darius learned out of spite just so he could retort properly and then they kinda ended up being stuck together for missions because hey, why not send the one guy who can handle the Beastkeeping Head Witch? And Darius didn't even want to be friendly but now he's stuck with them and uh, oh, overtime he started getting fond of them. It was very much mutual, and once they found out they both had rebel tendencies? Oh, it was for life.

Nobody asked for this but take a fragment of the wip I mentioned at the beginning to see if I can somehow gather motivation from this to actually finish it:

“This is no beast,” He states through gritted teeth, even if the extremely pleased and sharp smile the small furry demon is sending in his direction makes him want to take back his assessment.   The scouts that are still there, watching the spectacle with what Darius guesses must be stunned expressions behind their masks. If they put as much effort on their jobs as they do on staring at him, they could have avoided this whole thing, but he’d rather extricate himself from this situation as swiftly as possible than waste his time by scolding them. “But Head Witch Eberwolf-” “-is right here," He cuts them off, watching with little amusement how they turn their heads so fast behind them that he's fairly sure at least one of them has some extra vertebrae on the neck to make for that ease of movement. "The demon you just pushed at me," He clarifies. The scouts stop moving so abruptly that Darius wonders if they were somehow petrified without him realizing. And with all their clothes staying intact instead of turning to stone alongside them. It’s impressive really, though not enough to lessen his irritation.

[wet-paws]

hiii i just wanted to say that i love how you are such a positive energy around here, always expressing sweet and warm things to everyone and creating such a friendly and gentle vibe. it makes me smile everytime! thank you for being you and doing what you do💖

(sorry for being anon, it’s @/traded-my-soul-for-a-minute here, but off-anon this ask would send from my main blog and i’m trying to keep the two at least a bit separate!☺️)

This is so incredibly sweet. 💝💗

I genuinely do try to bring a visible Zest For Life and living healthy to the table with my thoughts and feelings.

I don't post self-deprecating things that aren't just a spicy humor.

This blog doesn't post or react to anything about being stupid unless I'm dropping reminders in how Special and Important we all are to have here and to find ourselves here for us. In the world.

What I give I needed a lot of growing up,. I want to give others what I didn't. Selflessly. Openly. From based honesty and effort of my own.

It's important to remember achieving "Perfection" is a myth handed down by those who hold a stigmatized view of some humans being better in any way than others. Isn't true. .

Achieve perfection for YOU. Find the best you that you can and soak in the warmth of all that'll bring in the peace of it's acceptance for yourself.

This is so kind and gentle to come and provide such an awareness and again allow me the opportunity to express in return why and how and give thanks to that being such a well recieved message. 💛💚

It's important to see good,. Especially in places many of us go to run and escape all the bad and hard and painful a while. Spicy as this place can be, it doesn't need to be toxic to bask in nor add to it. I choose Honesty and Empathy forward, always.

[aimfor-theheart]

cielo!!! i am dropping by with some good music and new year wishes! 🎶🎉 thank you so much for being part of my 2023 🥹 i used to be so intimidated by you omg 😭 but i was so wrong!!! bc u are so incredibly kind 🥺 and talented (my gawd)!! you put so much effort in everything you do and i adore you so much for that!!!!

as a year end pick, my favourite read from you is: sharing bed like little kids (i havent gotten to godmaker yet… but i alr know i’ll love it) 🥺 your writing is so gripping!!! and sharing beds is fr in my hall of fame of fics 😭

if i may ask!! 🥺 (pls feel free not to answer if uncomfy!!) how was 2023 for you? what’s a favourite thing (anything) you discovered this year? do you have any reflections from the past year? any resolutions for the next? 🥹

SEL!!! thank YOU so much for being part of my 2023! you truly always brighten my day whether on the dash, on discord, or here in my inbox 🥺🥺💕 i absolutely love and cherish these little messages and questions that you send me!!

im fjskfjdsk at you being intimidated by me!! i am truly just some guy that is a weirdly passionate about a lot of things!!! but thank you!! you are truly so lovely and kind as well!! genuinely one of the warmest and most welcoming ppl i have met on this website!! you keep this place friendly and fun and full of wonder!!

thank you for reading sharing beds and coming to share your thoughts on it with me 🥺💕 i am so glad that you enjoy that one!! my very first fic on this blog, so it holds a special place in my heart!

2023 was an interesting one! full of ups and downs! i think in many ways i really stepped into my own...or began the process of it so that i can really put my best foot forward into 2024! i've worked really hard this last year but i plan to work harder next!! i got lots i want to do!! im not a huge new year resolution person just cause i tend to always have goals and things i work towards throughout the whole year, but a recent one is reading more plays and novels again! i also want to finish a script i've been working on!

how about you?? do you have any resolutions or reflections?? how was 2023 for you? (if you'd like to answer!!)

happy new year my friend!! wishing you all the joy and love and health and wonder for the next one! 💕

[rc-appreciationweeks]

Hello! Planning to contribute on #BeMyRCValentine? Awesome! 💘

To make it a great experience for all, we have put together a FAQ for your convenience:

Q: How do I make sure you see my work?

A: Easy! Use the tag #BeMyRCValentine and be sure to link @rc-appreciationweeks. Our mods will check regularly for new content. Post to your own blog and we’ll pick it up!

Alternatively, submissions are open and we will schedule your content for the appropriate day (or day of your request). If you have any questions about what day your content fits under, don’t hesitate to send us a message!

Q: What kind of things should I post in each day?

A: For Day 1 (themed Day), think: fluffy, sweet, tender things. Dates, love language, gifts, serendipity, first kisses, new love, old love... All those warm and fuzzy feelings! 💘💕💘

For Day 2 (themed Night), think: heavier, maybe even angsty content fits here. Missed connections, longing, last kisses... But also, this is where spicy content is especially welcome! 😏 Despite what Vlad believes, darkness can be a good thing 😤

Q: Do my creations have to include Valentine's Day?

A: No! The idea is mostly to inspire creation and appreciation for your favorite RC love interests. Valentine's Day is a day of love, so as long as your creations are themed around love, you're good! And as always, we welcome all types of content, length, style and so on. We even want to see your WIP if that’s all you had time for.

Q: I would like to share something NSFW, can I?

A: For this event, we especially encourage spicy content! But to make sure that only the people who would like to see it see it, we ask that you tag your content with #valentinespice. If it is especially explicit (think the 95💎 CGs, or something that you wouldn't want the old lady on the bus stop to accidentally see on your phone 💀 — in general, things that would belong in a R-rated movie), we ask you to kindly put it under the cut. And finally, please make sure we're talking consenting adults all around!

Q: How do I avoid suggestive and 18+ content?

A: You can avoid those creations by filtering/blacklisting the tag #valentinespice. For instructions on how to do that, please check this article.

Our mods considered using the community labels, but in all honesty, we are concerned about being shadowbanned 😅 We believe this solution will work and will allow us to have a good event for all!

Q: How should I use “the cut”?

A: First of all, thank you for thinking of your fellow RC fan! It would be great to use the cut or “Read More” option in your post if your content has a content warning on it and/or if your post is more than 1000 words long.

“Why cut at 1000 words?” Great question. You see, scrolling over really really long posts is just not very reader friendly, and many will not reblog content that takes more than a short hand gesture to get past. That’s why we recommend you hide the rest of your masterpiece around the 1000 word mark for us to reblog without feeling awkward about clogging up the feed with all this incredible content. We thank you in advance!

If you have any additional questions, don’t be shy - our ask is open 24/7, including Sundays.

[dari-ede]

Seven Times I Hated Kim Seokjin: Ch 5

Chapter 5: "충동은 감각을 이끌어 내"

Chapters : 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05(M) | 06(M) | 07

MASTERLIST

NOTE: 🐹🥳💜HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KIM SEOKJIN!!!! 🐹🥳💜

Summary: I was living a perfectly, normal, mundane life.... So why in the HELL did Kim Seokjin walk into it and ruin it all for me???

Pairing: Idol!Jin x Female Reader

Rating: M (language and sexually explicit scene)

Status: Complete

--------------------

While Seokjin’s schedule remained busier than ever, he never forgot to call or send a message by the end of each day. We saw each other a couple of times during the week—mostly, it was me who went to go visit him at work.

Due to my new position at work, the pay increase came with hour and responsibility increase. I was great at my job and managed to shuffle everything very well. I was lucky to have a great team behind me. They knew I was in a new relationship and were kind to ensure I left at a decent hour. Seokjin’s identity remained a hidden secret. They knew he worked in the entertainment industry, but never pushed to know further details. Another thing I was grateful to my team for: their respect for my privacy.

The only people who knew I was dating an idol were my sister, cousin, and parents. My parents didn’t know nor care about Seokjin’s popularity. The thing my father cared most about was if Jin was a good son.

“Did you graduate from university?” Was the very first question my father asked Seokjin upon meeting him.

“Appa!” I scolded my father.

Seokjin gave a few blinks, a habit I came to find he had when he got uncomfortable. It was rare to see it, especially lately. He always exhibited confidence and had an easiness around me. I couldn’t help but feel protective as my father came at him so aggressively.

Seokjin, however, kept composed and explained he had graduated from university early last year after years of postponement due to his busy idol schedule.

“I wanted to ensure my parents could proudly claim their son is a graduate. It was important to me to fulfill my education for my parents,” Jin answered with the utmost politeness.

My mother’s face beamed at hearing this and I felt my heart expand. Seokjin had mentioned several times education was important to him, but idiot me had never thought to ask why. I just assumed it was for self-satisfaction. Seokjin wasn’t a liar, so I didn't doubt what he had told my father was true. And it only made me fall in love with him even more.

My sister was being incredibly nosy and just observing from the background, happy to be a fly in the wall.

My father’s face looked satisfied but still continued to question Jin.

As the evening continued, Jin's charisma won over my mother, which was not shocking. She was elated to learn Jin could cook. My father took a little longer to ease up. However, somewhere in the middle of dinner, he had my father laughing at some of his jokes. My sister and Jin had met before several times, so they were already friendly with each other.

Jin stopped blinking so much after that. And I felt at ease.

While my parents were talking amongst themselves, I felt Jin's hand cover mine under the table. He gave me a gentle squeeze.

I turned to him, giving him a smile of appreciation. I had expressed to him how important my parents were. I had only brought home one other boyfriend, so it was a pretty big deal that he was meeting them.

He gave me a quick wink before squeezing my hand again.

*********

"Are you using protection?" My mother asked later that night.

Seokjin had left a bit ago. He stayed for several hours after dinner, talking nonstop to my parents. When he didn't hesitate in helping clean, my father gave a nod of approval. And despite me no longer living at home, I stayed behind at my parents' out of respect as he left.

I knew it wouldn't look good to my father if Seokjin and I were left alone tougher this late in the night. Their neighbors would surely notice.

My mother was a little more modern and easygoing. I knew she wouldn't have cared.

Despite her more liberal way of thinking, though, her question still threw me off. "What?" I asked, baffled.

My mother laughed at me. "Oh, don't pretend you're not having sex with that young man."

My sister giggled in the background.

Of course, her assumptions were right. Seokjin and I were sexually active. We had been for a few weeks now. However, sex was not a subject I spoke so openly about my mother. I didn't think she believed I was a virgin, especially at my age and the fact that I lived alone, but she had never been this blunt before.

"Yes, we're using protection," I answered her, looking away as I felt my cheeks get warm.

"Good," she said.

There was a moment of long silence before my sister broke it. "How's the sex?"

I turned to her, stunned she would ask this so openly in front of our mother. I chided her.

She let out a laugh. "Oh, come on. Don't be shy with Mom. I've told Mom about how much I enjoy sex with my boyfriend. You've shared a few stories with me before."

She was right. My sister and I did openly discuss sex—we didn't get into any dirty details, but we did share stories. However, I still hadn't said much about Jin. It was different with him, I felt.

"I don't think it's ok to discuss our sex life," I said honestly.

"Why not?" my sister asked.

"He's an idol," I answered. "He values his privacy. I don't want to break that trust."

"You think he hasn't talked about your bedroom endeavors with his members?" my sister challenged.

I only felt warmer with more embarrassment at this thought. My past boyfriends all had best friends which whom I was sure he would discuss our sex life with, but that was only a couple of guys they talked to. Jin had six members. That would be a lot of people knowing our business.

"Do you think he would share everything with them?" my mother asked, catching onto my concern.

I thought about it for only a moment. "No. I don't think he would give too many details. He's pretty private, even with the guys. But I suppose he would have told them all something about us."

"How does that make you feel?" my mother asked, keeping her eyes on me, trying to catch any look of discomfort probably. She was always so observant.

I never rushed with answering my mother's questions. I fully thought things through. She didn't like my sister and I answered her dishonestly. After thinking for a bit, I was certain of my answer. "As long as it's not something incredibly detailed and sensitive, I'm ok with it. I can't tell him not to share—those are his friends. We both should have the liberty to do so. Again, as long as it is not too detailed."

"So, can you answer whether or not the sex is good or not?" my sister pressed again with a shit grin on her face.

I sent her a glare.

My mother laughed. She got up from her seat. "I'll get out of the room so you two girls can speak freely," she said as she sent my sister a wink.

She wished us both goodnight and left the room.

My sister took my hand and dragged me to our old room. Like me, she no longer lived at home but had decided to stay the night as well.

Without my mother in the room, I felt comfortable talking about the subject. I loved my mother, but I certainly wasn't ready to be that open with her...not yet, anyway. "We've done it several times now."

"And how is it?" she asked excitedly.

I thought about the right words. "He's very sweet. Considerate. Gentle."

My sister waited patiently at first, but when I didn't continue, she pushed. "Does he make sure you...cross the finish line?"

"Yes. He makes sure I get there before he does." I had a previous boyfriend who didn't consider me very much in the bedroom. My sister had warned me about him on that fact alone. She ended up being right. I eventually learned the guy was a selfish prick. I knew my sister was checking for any red and green flags in asking these questions.

"That's a good sign," she said with a smile.

I nodded, smiling a little myself. A thought I had several times popped into my head, but I pushed it away. It wasn't a nice thing to think and I felt almost ashamed of it.

My sister, knowing me all too well, recognized something was up. "What is it? Is something about the sex not fulfilling?"

I took a breath, trying to find the best way to phrase it. "He's very sweet and gentle," I repeated. "But..."

"But what?" my sister pressed a little.

"But he's a little too gentle? Don't get me wrong, I orgasm every time. He makes sure of it. But he's not...fully giving it," I said and gave my sister a knowing look as I emphasized the words. I hoped she understood what I was trying to say. I loved Seokjin but saying something this personal about him made me feel a bit uncomfortable.

My sister didn't get it at first, but she caught on. Her eyes went wide in shock. "Is he big?" she asked bluntly.

God, I don't think I've ever felt so flushed. "Yeah," I let out as I fanned myself. The image of Seokjin's...package came to view. He had been blessed with a nice-sized junk—the biggest I've ever seen.

The first night we had done it, I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little scared. I think he might have caught on because he didn't fully enter me. The first several times, he entered me a little more. However, he now no longer pushed further. And I felt I could take more, but didn't know how to tell him this.

I explained all of this to my sister.

And while I was embarrassed at first talking about this with my sister, I was grateful I did it. Talking it all the way through with my sister, I was comforted in knowing I wasn't horrible for thinking what I was thinking. While I enjoyed sex with Seokjin, I also wasn't fully satisfied. I craved for more and he wasn't giving it.

After a long night of discussion, I came up with a plan on how to handle the situation. I just had to wait for the perfect time.

*********

Jin was going to be gone from Seoul for over a month. I managed to get some time off and joined him during his travels.

Some of the members had girlfriends and we were all given a room together. Of course, none of us girls stayed in the room. We all spend our nights with our respective boyfriends. Thankfully, we were all put in the same hall, so it was easy to travel back and forth between my room and Jin's.

One of those nights, I decided to follow through on my plan.

We were on his hotel bed heavily making out when I realized this was the right time.

He was fully on top of me, pressing his bulge against my core. His hands were under my shirt and bra, playing with my nipples. His lips were sucking on my neck, whispering to me how beautiful I looked to him.

My body moved underneath his, reacting to everything he was doing. The feel of his tongue licking my skin sent shivers everywhere. But I forced my head and body to focus. I needed to take charge tonight. I was determined to not allow another night to go by without fully knowing him.

Putting pressure on his shoulders, he got on his knees. I wasn't strong enough to get him off me, but he understood what I was trying to do and moved for me.

He stared at me with a bit of confusion.

However, his confusion was short-lived when I sat up and pressed on his shoulders. "Lay down," I ordered, putting as much conviction in my voice. I wanted to appear confident tonight. If I faltered in any way, this wouldn't work out. Jin would notice the hesitancy as shyness and would do everything in his power to put me at ease. And then he would be in control again.

Seokjin's lips turned upward, liking how I gave him an order. He did as he was told and looked up at me, a twinkle in his eye.

As I stared down at him, I discovered a mistake. I had forgotten step 1. Dammit. "Take off your clothes."

He reached down at the edges of his shirt and pulled it off, the smallest chuckle coming out. "Wouldn't it have been better for me to undress before you ordered me to lay down?" he teased.

"Shut up," I said, wanting to smack him.

He let out a laugh as he pulled at his pants. "Gonna need you to move, gongjunim."

His use of endearment made me pause for a moment. He only recently started calling me that. I had never been one to use cute nicknames for my exes and they in turn never used them on me. But like everything else with Kim Seokjin, this was different.

I had never felt like a princess and had never even pretended to be one even when I was a little girl. I had never been into tiaras and dress-ups when I was younger. When Jin first used it on me, I didn't know what to make of it. I didn't know if I liked it or if it bothered me. However, I quickly noticed that he treated me with such care and adoration. It made me feel like he meant it when he called me princess. And that only made me love him more.

Damn, he was good.

"Gongjunim?" he asked, getting my attention.

"Huh?" I asked, forgetting what we were doing.

He openly giggled at me. "May you please move your gorgeous body for just a little bit, so your servant may abide by your orders?"

I looked down and noticed with me on top, he couldn't pull down his pants properly.

"Oh," I said pathetically and moved.

He laughed a little harder as he removed his bottoms.

This time, I did smack him. "Don't ruin it," I pouted. I wanted to be in control and assertive tonight. His laughing was not part of the plan. Because I was sure I would then start laughing. And then the night wouldn't be sexy like I wanted it to be.

He let out a final laugh and kissed my forehead. "Sorry." He laid back down. "Do with me what you will."

I narrowed my eyes at him, feeling my lips turning up. I was starting to feel a light laugh come out of me, but I was determined to squash it.

Placing my legs on other side of his hips, I immediately went back to work. Without hesitation, I took undressed while kneeling above him. His laughter quickly died once he noticed the matching pink lingerie. I could hear a moan coming out of him.

Smiling triumphantly, I began to grind against him, moving my hips slowly.

His hands were instantly on me, taking hold of my hips and digging into my skin.

We stayed like that for a while, building our arousal. I felt him grow underneath me and saw his precut soak through his underwear.

Biting on my lip, I reached down and pulled at his material. Moving his underwear, his thick and long member sprung out. The first time I saw it, it scared me a little, but now looking at it, I could only see beauty. It was so long and rough and hard. A few veins popped out of it, making it look bigger. The precum coming out of it was a pearly white. It looked good enough to eat.

But that was for another time. I had given him a blow job a few times and I had enjoyed it every time. But I knew if I went there tonight, he would for sure take over. Every time my mouth made it around his penis, it would never stay there for too long. Seokjin never allowed himself to finish in my mouth.

Another time, I promised myself.

I reached to the head of his penis and touched it, letting his precum smear all over my palm.

He let out a groan underneath me.

While my hand began to work on his shaft, my eyes moved to his facial features. I wanted to catch every expression that came out of him.

I had a small hand and my dainty fingers couldn't wrap fully around his girth. Putting spit on my other hand, I placed it on the base and moved it in the same rhythm as the one on his mushroom-shaped head.

Seokjin's eyes were now halfway closed, and his mouth opened with some drool at the edge of it. His breaths were fast but low-sounding.

My hands went up and down slowly on him, twisting a little now and then. My grip was somewhat firm but mostly loose. More precum leaked out of him and I used it to my advantage. I squeezed a little every once in a while, making him shake a bit. I didn't want him to cum just yet. My plan was to squeeze as many fluids out of him without him having an orgasm so I could use the fluids to help me fully take him. I figured if we were both drenched, the process would be easier. And my pussy was really wet at the moment. Seeing how much pleasure I was giving Seokjin, was turning me on as well.

I felt how his shaft was starting to pulse a little more, so I slowed myself down. I reached over to the nightstand where we kept the condoms. I needed to find better birth control for myself. I had tried three different kinds throughout my sexually active years, but my body never reacted well to them.

Seokjin insisted he didn't mind using condoms, but I just always found it more of a hassle. We always had to worry about having them.

Tearing open the wrapper, I put the rubber on, pulling at the tip.

This is it, I told myself.

Reaching around me I took off my bra.

Seokjin took my lead and fully took off his underwear. This time, he managed to do it without needing me to get off him. Where there was a will, there was a way.

I started to shimmy my panties off.

"What's so funny?" he asked curiously, his hands coming back to my hips.

I bit back my smile. "Nothing," I lied.

Taking hold of his shaft, I dropped a nice amount of spit on it to get it more lubricated.

As I pumped Jin a few more times, his fingers found their way to my lower lips. I let out a gasp as a couple of his fingers began to stroke my entrance.

"You're drenched, gongjunim." The deepness of his voice only made my pussy squirt out a bit of fluid.

God, he needed to be inside me quickly. Before I completely lost it.

I moved his hand out of the way as I positioned him at my entrance.

"Wait, I need to work on you back," he said, his hands stilling my hips.

"You said I was drenched," I reminded him. "I'm ready."

"You sure?" he asked sweetly, completely forgetting his throbbing member that was in my hand and desperately wanting to gain access to my opening.

I nodded, and then pushed down on his pretty, pink head. I looked down at it, watching as it disappeared inside me.

We both let out a moan in unison.

After a couple of inches were inside of me, I moved my hips up, then sank back down a few inches. I then came back up only to move slowly down a little further.

I worked my way down little by little.

After half of him was inside me, I took a breath. I wanted to take the rest of him in one go.

Seokjin read my mind. His hands stopped me, holding me still. "No."

With force, I pulled his hands off me. "I want it all," I breathed out as I sank the rest of the way down.

I felt a sting as I was stretched as I had never been before. My walls pulsed around him, desperately wanting more room.

Seokjin sat up, a look of concern. "Unnie-ah?"

I let out a moan then took a breath. "So much," I said to him, my voice sounding strained.

I could feel him try to move out of me.

"No! Just...wait," I said.

He stilled for me.

For a long moment, we stayed this way. My walls adjusted to his size and finally the stinging wasn't as powerful. Something else began to take precedence. "Gonna move," I warned him.

Taking a breath himself, he gave a nod. "Slow, gongjunim."

I had been planning to, I wanted to tell him. But I didn't have the current strength to speak at the moment. Slowly, I pushed on my knees and moved my hips.

Seokjin's fingers dug into my skin and he let out a grunt of pleasure. But he remained still, letting me set a pace.

For a while, I took things slow, allowing my body to get used to his. And gradually, passion began to take over. My head was no longer in control. I moved my hips with more roughness, my hips circled against him, allowing him to hit certain spots inside me that had my toes curling.

His hips began to move as well, and his hands took a stronger hold. At first, he was letting me move however I wanted, but eventually, his own passion took over.

As my movements became rougher, so did his. His hands took control of my hips, pushing me up and pulling me down onto his thigh with more vigor. More power. More pleasure. And god did it feel fucking good.

He moved onto his knees, wrapping my legs around his waist. That's when I realized I was no longer in control. And I was too spent to care.

Spreading his legs underneath me, he managed to bury himself deeper inside me.

I let out a loud moan. "Right there," I let out when he hit a particular spot.

He hit it again, causing me to gasp.

And again.

And again.

One more and I knew I would be coming apart.

However, he didn't do it. Instead, he pushed me down onto the bed, spreading my legs wide.

Sweat was coming out of him and there was a feral look in his eyes as he looked down at me. He looked so out of control.

"Tell me if you need me to stop," he said, panting.

I nodded. "Continue," I almost begged.

He reached down, kissing me. "You're so beautiful." He moved slowly at first, hitting a new spot.

Too slow, but still so good.

He moved almost fully out of me, but then came fully back in, his balls touching my bottom.

"Jinah," I let out, my back arching against him.

He pulled out again and came back inside me with a bit more power.

My brain fogged up, I started to lose cohesive thinking. "Full. So big." I heard myself say as he bottomed out again with more aggressiveness.

I think this only egged him on even more. He created a nice rhythm, his thumb coming between our bodies, touching my clit.

"Yes," I wailed out, shaking beneath him.

His other hand reached over and took hold of one of my breasts, squeezing it. They weren't big, but they weren't small either. One fit nicely inside his large hand.

Looking down at me, his eyes were wild and roaming over my body.

His eyes stayed on my chest for a moment and then he bent over, his lips taking hold of my other nipple.

My hands shot to his hair, keeping him close to him.

His tongue circled the tracing of my nipple and then bit down gently on it.

Another sound came out of me.

His cock pounded and continued to thump into me as his mouth slurped my breast, his fingers played with my nipple, and his other fingers circled my clit. It was getting to be too much. My body was getting close to the end.

"Close, close," I let him know, trying to control my breathing.

But then, his movements stopped.

I let out a grunt of frustration. "What?" I demanded.

He let out a dark chuckle. "We got all night," he said simply.

Then, he took hold of one of my legs and moved it around, and placed it on the other side of him. Both of my legs were now joined. I was laying down sideways on him now. He pressed my legs together and put me in an almost fetal position below him. His cock was still inside me. When he looked satisfied with my position, he then moved his hips again, his cock moving in and out of me.

The angle allowed him to go even deeper than before. How the hell was he able to do that? I clutched onto the sheets beneath me, feeling the bed rock below us. I thought I heard the headboard making some noises as well, but I was far too focused on how good Jin was making me feel right now.

Jin took hold of my legs and used it to keep his momentum. He thrust in and out of me, going even faster and harder. I felt like I was going to be split in half by how massive he felt when he fully went inside me.

"So biiiiiig," I let out again, moving against him, trying to reach my peak.

Seokjin's hand came between my thighs and found my clit again, his fingers rubbing me just right.

He twisted his hips on another angle and I finally began to undone. My eyes rolled to the back of my head, my body shook underneath his. My walls clutched around him.

"I love you," he said to me, his voice strained and full of ecstasy.

I felt his cock swell up. And after thrusting in one final time, I knew he was spilling inside the condom.

The feeling only sent aftershocks throughout my body.

Seokjin fell on top of me and stayed there for a while.

I welcomed his weight, feeling warm with him there.

After several moments, Jin finally pulled out, taking off the condom as well. He rolled onto his side and took me into his arms. "Well, that was different."

I let out a laugh. "I would say so."

The fingers lingering on my waist created circles on my skin. I was content laying on his chest for a while, but then I slowly realized his cock was pressing against my stomach.

I looked down at it and noticed its beauty immediately. Even deflated, he was huge.

Out of nowhere, I felt myself getting wet again.

I turned towards him, giving him an open kiss. He kissed back, at first thinking all I wanted was a simple kiss. However, he started to notice my mood when I got on top of him. I reached over to the nightstand and took several tissues and another condom.

Still kissing him, I wiped him down and tore open the wrapper.

"Again?" he asked in between kisses.

I nodded, stroking him, feeling some of the remnants of his cum along his thickness. It was hardening again, I could feel it.

Placing a new rubber on him, I moved my entrance on top of his shaft, rubbing myself there for a good while, waiting for him to harden.

He let out a groan. "You're going to wear me out tonight, aren't you?"

After he had just worked me, did he expect me not to??

************

Sometime late in the morning, there was a knock on the door.

Seokjin and I had only just fallen asleep a few hours prior. We had gone all night. After our second round, I had been spent. But then he had gotten horny not long after, so our lovemaking continued.

Despite the little rest, I was fully aware of what was happening. My eyes were too tired to open, but my ears were alert.

"Jjaaaaan!" came a voice from the hall.

Seokjin's voice was too low for me to hear as he greeted his guest.

"You look like you had quite the night," said the voice, laughing in a high pitch.

It was the laughter that let me know who it was. Hoseok.

Jin let out a nervous laugh. "What's up?"

"We have the meeting in a bit, just making rounds and reminding everyone. I wondered if noona might be hungry. I'm taking Yeoja there myself," Hoseok said.

"Unnie isn't awake yet," Jin said, keeping his voice low.

"I bet you tired her out, huh? She might be too spent to come down," Hoseok said with a laugh. He wasn't being loud, but he wasn't being quiet either.

"She's just tired," Jin said, trying to keep my modesty. "She's not used to this life."

Hoseok let out another laugh. "Ok. Well, we're heading down for breakfast in about half an hour. The meeting is in 45 minutes, don't forget."

Jin softly closed the door.

I forced myself to sit up in bed. There was no way I was going to go back to sleep after that.

Seokjin came into view, his eyes falling on me softly. "Aw, gongjunim, go back to sleep."

"I didn't know you had a meeting," I said, instantly feeling guilty for keeping him up all night.

He came to my side and kissed my head. "It's not a long one. After that, we have three hours free. I can come back up here and take a long nap." He gave me a sweet smile.

"Really?" I asked.

He nodded and kissed my forehead. "Are you hungry?"

I shrugged, unsure.

His lips came to mine for a moment. He then pulled back.

I smiled up at him. And as he stood in front of me, I couldn't help but admire his chiseled abs, small waist, and broad shoulders. His face was flushed and his hair was a mess. He really did look as if he had gone all night fucking.

A slight embarrassment came over at the thought of Hoseok knowing what Jin and I had been up to last night. However, I didn't worry long about it because the body in front of me that looked like a model caught my full attention.

"Or are you hungry for something else?" he asked, a half smile spreading across his face as he looked at me.

I wanted to tell him no. Wanted to pretend that I wasn't feeling incredibly horny right now, despite us fucking like bunnies most of the night and only getting a few hours sleep.

I pushed him down onto the bed and crawled onto his lap.

He let out a laugh, loving how feral I was sure I looked.

I hated him.

Hated him for ruining all other men for me.

--------------------

Chapters : 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05(M) | 06(M) | 07

MASTERLIST

[jslittlebirdie]

hi angel i have no idea if u remember me or not but i used to be on tumblr as playddumb (like 2 years ago) and i just wanted to let u know i hope that you're doing so good. interacting on tumblr had become too much for me mentally and i no longer have a working joker related account but i wanted to let u know that your fics were some of my favorite and i really appreciate your presence here, u r so genuine and friendly and im still around lurking lol so i wanted to let you know. sorry if this is super cryptic but i wanted to wish u well and tell you you rock!!!!

Oh my gosh, the noise I just made🥹💖 Hi there, sweetheart. Of course I remember you!! You used to be one of my favorite artists here (especially the J and Liz drawings) and a very sweet friend🥺🥰 I totally understand that and I wish you nothing but the absolute best (if you do feel like talking a bit one day, know that I'm here for you). Your health, mentally and physically, is the most important thing. That's the reason why I haven't been as active lately. I'm pretty burnt out, I have a job now next to uni and life things. Anyway. Your sweet message seriously made my entire day omg. You're so lovely and kind and sweet to me. I can't😭💜 Also, this gave me a boost of new motivation to keep trying to write. This means so much to me🥺 Thank you so incredibly much, just thank you. I'm sending you so much love and a big hug🫂🥺💜 (unless you're not comfortable with it, then I'm smiling and waving at you hehe)

[rainylana]

I followed you on Wattpad because I read your Michael story and I loved the first half of the book so much. You are an incredibly talented writer who I'm sure will/should very well succeed at whatever she does. I loved the way you portrayed both the main characters as they fell in love, went through a lot of trauma, and how healthy their relationship was in the beginning.

That was so beautiful, idk if you're still on here but I do hope you see this, I saw when I came on your blog, how upset you were and I know how upset you must feel, you should really know even if you don't think so, you're such a sweet and talented person, you deserve to feel the kind of love you write/fantasize about. Whether the love is familial, friendly, or romantic. It can sometimes come off as repetitive because I'm sure you've heard this so many times before, everyone loves to give the same speech and I understand hearing it over and over again can be tiring and annoying AF.

You deserve to live and be able to live happily, I'm sorry that you don't have the relationship with your father you used to, idk how different it is but I hope one day you get that in some way or another. I used to send these messages to people but every time I do I always felt so stupid because words can only do so much and people can only hear the same thing in different ways so many times as well.

I've been only here scarcely for the past few months for my own reasons but if you ever need anyone to talk to or just vent to, it won't be a bother, I'm not saying this out of pity, I don't want you to feel like some charity case or pity party because you're not you're just accepting a friend. Sigh, I hope this doesn't sound neither cringey nor intrusive. You should be able to wake up every day feeling the happiness you want and I know I've been saying this a lot but it's because you deserve it, I'm not one to waste my time doing certain things I don't want to so please know that I didn't just send you this because I felt somehow obligated to, or because I had to but I genuinely wanted to.

I hope you see this, if not, I hope you find the happiness and love you deserve, I'll always keep you in my heart!. I'm taking this off anon.

also ugh I really hope this didn't sound horrible or anything.

oh gosh you made my heart SWELL!! thank you so so much for this! this made my night, honestly. i wish i had friends who would say this to me. and the fact you read my old story?? wow what a flashback! i loved writing for that since it was my first. i appreciate you a lot coming on here, please don’t feel bad or annoying because you aren’t in any way!! i love you dearly for this and hope that wherever you are in your own life is amazing like you are. i can tell from this message you have a good heart. thank you so much <3

[battleshot]

Sending you a proper wholesome message since I’m in a wholesome mood & I do want to shoot you something because I can’t believe I haven’t done so already ahaha

I know I haven’t talked to you much ooc, & we don’t have that many interactions ooc, but I promise you you are definitely one of those friendly faces that I can see on dash & just feel happy to see. I suppose a lot of it is just me being intimidated, but again I promise I mean it in a… weirdly good way? Your graphics are insanely well made, they show your care towards Prompto & are so unique they stand out — I want to tell you right now, that even if I don’t write with you often? Your boy —- your portrayal specifically has stuck enough that I just kinda associate him with your portrayal now.

In our thread you captured his voice amazingly, from thoughts to his humour & dialogue —- you again do amazing work & I heavily admire the effort you go through to format posts, how detailed & descriptive you get in your responses, as well as wanna say you seem incredibly friendly & super sweet from what I’ve seen ooc so far. You’re doing insanely great with everything, & definitely do enjoy seeing you on my dash.

( please know I was insanely Soft ™️ when you sent this but my head wasn’t in a good place to give you the response you deserved 🧡 )

This is a very unexpected and sweet message, and I’m queueing this on the basis that although I may not be here and present right now, your words mean a hell of a lot. My mind has been a battlefield and such kind words from someone you don’t expect to hear from everyday means a lot a lot a lot 🥺 I’m so !! Thrilled !! And — the fact you associate him with MY portrayal !!????? I’m. 🥺🧡🧡🧡🧡 thank you dear. I will cherish this forever and then some. And hey, no worries about not being the biggest talker, I get it!! You can always shoot prom asks and we’re always happy to see you around. We very much appreciate your presence — as I know a lot of people do 🧡✨ and again, Ty for this 🥺🧡

[lvstharmony]

I saw your post and thought about sending a message anonymously to share my thoughts. Don’t feel obligated to respond to this, please. I just wanted to reach out anonymously as a woman who was in your shoes a few years ago. :) I hope this doesn’t come off as offensive or rude. This would be the same message I’d tell a good friend if they said the same things as you did, so I guess you can treat me as a friendly internet girlie? :p

Instead of thinking about allowing [romantic] love to come in, why not think about opening your doors more to friendship/s with the opposite sex? Love can bud from good friendships. It can be terrifying to jump from being friends to lovers but a good relationship built on the trust founded on friendship can thrive. I hope you don’t feel pressured by societal standards on timing but I understand the strong feelings of yearning and longing for romantic love in our twenties or thirties. I think it’s brave when people wait and uphold what they believe in when it comes to choosing a partner. Your heart is in the right place. Take baby steps, even opening yourself up to new friendships can be daunting but it’s definitely less stressful when your focus is more on friends (opposite sex) than romantic potential.

P.S. You deserve a beautiful love because you have such a beautiful heart 🤍

Oh wow, I did not expect this at all, thank you so much for your words and your time 🤍

It doesn’t come off as rude nor offensive! <3

I used to have male friends before, but due to religious reasons I don’t anymore, and I personally prefer it as well, so I‘m glad that it never felt like a sacrifice or anything. But I do really get your point, and I really want a lover who’s my best friend too, I would want to build my relationship around love and friendship.

Thankfully I actually don’t feel pressured at all. Everything happens at the right time and I am in peace with that believe, although it obviously gets really hard sometimes. What is meant for me won’t pass me by, but I have to work in order to be that person to receive what is meant for me one day. With these type of things, I am really patient. The yearning and longing is indeed way stronger in our twenties and thirties than before, but I do have to say I have felt that since I was very little :') I am actually focusing on myself and my life a lot currently, I just mainly post about love on here. I used to be so incredibly focused on finding love, that I didn’t focus on myself and that there is life outside of romantic love. (Doesn’t make me want it any less though hdjfjdjd). That has changed, and I have never felt more like myself than I do today and I can say with full conviction that I love the person I am. I am working on myself and let it arrive when the time is right. And I know I am deserving of the love I long for, so I won’t settle for anything less than it. First of all, it wouldn’t be fair towards myself, but neither for the person I would settle for just because I would think that love doesn’t exist.

Now to the rest you have said: Like I said in the beginning, I am really thankful for your words. For you to say this without even knowing me is just so sweet and kind. I will definitely take baby steps and I will think of your beautiful and kind words 🤍

Please do share your thoughts whenever you want to, I enjoy hearing about them and I am open to everything <3

[forlix]

HIHI I'M BACK! 🐼

babes don't need to apologize for the late response, i'm just glad you are okay! about the the genocide in gaza, i totally agree with you, my bad, once i read what you said i completely agree, i'm glad you made me aware, thank you!

i haven't been able to find the location the thesis is, but i think i have on my email somewhere, the final version, i'll eventually send it to you, i'm terrified of checking since it's been like 7-8 years since i did the whole thing, so i'm like: "oh god, this is gonna be so bad, i'm gonna find so many errors!", also, i'm super excited about yout china and japan thesis! if you ever feel comfortable in sharing i'm all ears!

i'm working on a skz series (indivually tho), and once i post the first one i'll come out anon, possibly haha, and you'll know that i'm real just like you! i'm glad that my words somehow reach you and made you feel happy, you deserve happiness, our little ray of sunshine!, so please, believe when i say, take care of yourself and take whatever time you need off from asks or social media in general.

i hope the hard moments are over and you can rest and do things you enjoy and that bring you joy, if anyone ever gives you hard time, gimme their names so i can have a friendly chat with them haha, i hope your day/night is good and that only good things reach your path, take care ♡

-🐼

oh, panda nonnie, how your words brighten my day so :(

firstly, thank you for being receptive to my words - i appreciate you so much! i Know with a capital K that you did not intend anything by it; i was using the same phrasing before i was informed of why it's harmful and just wanted to pass on the message. i hope it didn't come across any other way <3

secondly, OMG NO PRESSURE AT ALL. like please do not feel a need to send anything to me (or relive anything) that u don't want to! i promise i'm just being nosy, you telling me about the topic of the thesis is more than enough for me bb! so no pressure, seriously, can't harp on that enough. and i would definitely be comfortable sharing with u once i have something with more substance... right now it's just a bunch of theoretical drivel that only i can make sense of.

thirdly, HOW EXCITING THAT YOU'RE PLANNING ON WRITING!!! bestest of luck with it angel, i would love to read it if u would have me!

and thank you, truly, so much for the reassurance... and thank you for always making me feel so special with all the lovely things u say to me. i keep saying you're not real because it's hard to believe that anyone would say these things to me :( like ray of sunshine? i deserve happiness? you always know exactly what to say that *melts* me; i struggle to respond to ur kindness sometimes because they leave me at such a loss.

i don't know if anything i say can aptly measure up to my appreciation for you, but here's me trying my best: it takes an incredible, precious, wonderful person to take the time and energy to give a stranger on the internet as much love as you have given me. i promise you the universe has great things in store for you, my love, for we receive from it what we put into it. thank you, thank you, thank you