#i mean like good for her. movie was a roller coaster of its so over were so back every time i thought the sister died

[boygirlctommy]

saw the new alien movie! it was. um. well. there certainly was an alien in it

[derrypubliclibrary]

Hiii i heard u like asks! Umm i like the ride the cyclone songs but i have no idea what its about beyond "ghosts are recounting their past lives" so this is a free pass to infodump about it if u want!

oooohhhh im biting you/pos ough

im apologizing in advance (also, minor CW for shitty parents, (child neglect), and minor SA mentions (not mentioned outright but thats what happened with the carnie)) (under the cut because this is long as shit dude)

OKAY

so basically. its about these six choir kids who died on the cyclone roller coaster. before they got on 5 of them got their fortunes read by Karnak, a fortune telling machine that can predict peoples deaths!! but, he was set to “family fun novelty mode” which means that he can still predict their deaths, but he cant say anything about it. part of his pre-programed bit is “and be sure to ride the cyclone” and he feels super bad about the fact that he knew these kids were gonna die on the cyclone, couldn’t tell them, and told them to actually ride the coaster.

So! he ‘summons’ their ghosts to the warehouse where hes being stored (the crash takes place one year in the past (so this year itd happen 2022) and the musical itself takes place 20 years in the future) and he tells them that he can bring one of them back to life! the six kids (in order of their song(s)) are: ocean o’connell rosenburg, noel gruber, mischa bachinski, ricky potts, jane doe, and constance blackwood. Karnak can bring one of them back to life, and thats what they’re competing for!

Ocean’s first, each kid has a favorite ride, and star sign, a catchphrase,and a “title” (?? im not sure what to call it). Oceans favorite ride is the bumper cars, her star sign is Capricorn, sign of ambition, her catchphrase is “democracy rocks!” and her “title” is “The Most Successful Girl in Town” Shes super obsessed with being successful, getting good grades, being the youngest prime minister of canada, that kinda thing. Her song is how shes Super Awesome and Amazing and Cool and Everyone Else Sucks so You Should Pick Her to go Back. that, obviously, doesn’t go over well with the rest of the choir. Karnak also doesnt tell her that whoever comes back has to be chosen by a unanimous vote from the choir. she tries to save herself, it doesn’t work. basically, shes super self centered, not a great person. her song is What the World Needs!

next is Noel Gruber. His favorite ride is the Farris wheel, his star sign is pisces, sign of passion, his catchphrase is “being the only gay man in a small rural highschool is kinda like having a laptop in the stone age. i mean, you can have one, but theres no where to plug it in.” and his “title” is “The Most Romantic Boy in Town.” his whole thing is, like in his catchphrase, being the only gay man in a small rural town. he romanticizes Everything, which is why hes “the most romantic” (i could get into the titles but thats. so much) hes super obsessed with france, french new wave cinema, that kinda thing. he also really likes the german movie ‘the blue angel’! his song is about his hooker oc monique gibeau and her tragic life. he Loves tragedy too. i. forgot to mention that. so basically his song is about how much he wants to have a tragic life! his song is Noel’s Lament!

next is Mischa Bachinski! his favorite ride is the shooting range (or the beer gallery depending on the script, i believe), his star sign is Leo, sign of aggression, his catchphrase is “my gangster persona is just armor to conceal the fact that i am naked child wandering through the wilderness holding in my hands my wounded fragile heart” and his “title” is “the angriest boy in town!” his whole thing is that hes from Ukraine, his mother was a worker who helped clean up Chernobyl, she was dying from prolonged exposure to uranium. so, she sent him to Canada by faking his birth certificate to make it look like he was 2 and freshly potty trained and not 16. his “new parents” werent happy, so they kept him in the basement and would leave his food at the top of the stairs. his “new mom” would cry every time she saw him and his “new dad” would shoo him away:( so he turned to “ganster rap” he also has a fiance he met on the internet who lives in Ukraine! her name is talia:) he has two songs, the first is a rap about how cool and awesome he is and also how cool and awesome money is and also robots! his second song is about his internet fiancé!! his songs are “This Song is Awesome” and “Talia”!

next is Ricky Potts! his favorite ride is the gravatron, his star sign is gemini, the dual nature, his catchphrase changes depending on the script, we’ll stick with “level up!” because this is already long as shit and we’ve still got two more characters! and his “title” is “The Most Imaginative Boy in Town!” his story is that hes disabled, hes got a degenerative disease that makes it so he cant walk or talk, and in the kinda town they live in it’s obvious that no one made any efforts to learn how to communicate with him (his family canonically made up theyre own sign language??? and took a vow of silence. they also have 14 cats.) so he turned to his imagination for entertainment. he also got one of those wishes from the school. i don’t remember what his wish was but ik it was something about sexy cat girls. so. they compromised with an all you can eat seafood dinner at red lobster! he got food poisoning and had a Wild fever dream. his song is about… having sex… with cat girls… to save the day on the planet “Zolar”! his song is “Space Age Bachelor Man”!

next is jane doe! so, remember how i said that 5 of the 6 kids got their fortunes read? shes the one who didnt. she lost her head, and no parents came to claim her body, so shes the “unidentified body” of the disaster. (theres a reason her parents didnt come claim her body but thats a whole other play) her songs is all about how she doesnt know who she is and how she has no memories! her song is “The Ballad of Jane Doe”!

and finally, Constance Blackwood. Her favorite ride is the cyclone roller coaster, her sign is Scorpio, the secret nature, her catchphrase is “sorry” and her “title” is “The Nicest Girl in Town.” Her whole story is how she hated being only seen as “nice” and how even her best friend (ocean) didnt know her. shes super depressed and shit. a few hours before they go on the coaster, she loses her virginity to a carnie in a porta potty because she wanted to lose it in “the worst way possible.” her family has been in Uranium since it was a mining town, and she thought that was cool! until she got to high school and thinking Uranium was cool was “about the lamest thing you could think to do” she started thinking shit about her town, and her mom (for staying there, for thinking it was cool). her song is about how, while she was dying, she finally realized that her town is beautiful and she does have pride in it. her song is “Sugarcloud” and her monologue is “Jawbreaker”!!

and thats all im gonna say for now because this is Long As Shit holy Fuck

[aemonded]

Hellooooo :) For the sleepover asks: do you have any book/song/movie/tv/literally anything recommendations? I always see you reblogging cool stuff for different fandoms 🤭

Okay, I do, but this is the most random assortment of my recent favourite media/music, but hopefully someone can pick out something from this (And thanks, babe <3):

Books:

Wham! George Michael and Me by Andrew Ridgeley:

In 1975 Andrew took a shy new boy at school under his wing. They instantly hit it off, and their boyhood escapades at Bushy Meads School built a bond that was never broken. The duo found themselves riding an astonishing roller coaster of success, taking them all over the world. They made and broke iconic records, they were treated like gods, but they stayed true to their friendship and ultimately to themselves. It was a party that seemed as if it would never end. And then it did, in front of tens of thousands of tearful fans at Wembley Stadium in 1986.

Andrew’s memoir covers in wonderful detail those years, up until that last iconic concert: the scrapes, the laughs, the relationships, the good, and the bad. It’s a unique and one-and-only time to remember that era, that band, and those boys.

Digital Minimalism: Choosing A Focused Life in A Noisy World by Cal Newport:

Digital minimalists are all around us. They're the calm, happy people who can hold long conversations without furtive glances at their phones. They can get lost in a good book, a woodworking project, or a leisurely morning run. They can have fun with friends and family without the obsessive urge to document the experience. They stay informed about the news of the day, but don't feel overwhelmed by it. They don't experience "fear of missing out" because they already know which activities provide them meaning and satisfaction.

Now, Newport gives us a name for this quiet movement, and makes a persuasive case for its urgency in our tech-saturated world. Common sense tips, like turning off notifications, or occasional rituals like observing a digital sabbath, don't go far enough in helping us take back control of our technological lives, and attempts to unplug completely are complicated by the demands of family, friends and work. What we need instead is a thoughtful method to decide what tools to use, for what purposes, and under what conditions.

(I've been feeling burned out from tech lately with work, and I'm trying to pull back as much as I can from using screens every moment of the day).

Ducks: Two Years in the Oil Sands by Kate Beaton:

Before there was Kate Beaton, New York Times bestselling cartoonist of Hark! A Vagrant, there was Katie Beaton of the Cape Breton Beaton, specifically Mabou, a tight-knit seaside community where the lobster is as abundant as beaches, fiddles, and Gaelic folk songs. With the singular goal of paying off her student loans, Katie heads out west to take advantage of Alberta’s oil rush―part of the long tradition of East Coasters who seek gainful employment elsewhere when they can’t find it in the homeland they love so much. Katie encounters the harsh reality of life in the oil sands, where trauma is an everyday occurrence yet is never discussed.

Beaton’s natural cartooning prowess is on full display as she draws colossal machinery and mammoth vehicles set against a sublime Albertan backdrop of wildlife, northern lights, and boreal forest. Her first full length graphic narrative, Ducks: Two Years in the Oil Sands is an untold story of Canada: a country that prides itself on its egalitarian ethos and natural beauty while simultaneously exploiting both the riches of its land and the humanity of its people.

(I had to go to Alberta to get my training completed, and I experienced a lot of the similar themes explored in this graphic novel. Might be stupidly Canadian for some, but a great graphic novel overall).

The Radium Girls: The Dark Story of America's Shining Women by Kate Moore:

Discover the gripping and inspiring true story of The Radium Girls, a groundbreaking work by acclaimed author Kate Moore. Immerse yourself in this compelling narrative that unravels the extraordinary lives of these fearless women who fought against all odds.

The Curies' newly discovered element of radium makes gleaming headlines across the nation as the fresh face of beauty, and wonder drug of the medical community. From body lotion to tonic water, the popular new element shines bright in the otherwise dark years of the First World War.

Meanwhile, hundreds of girls toil amidst the glowing dust of the radium-dial factories. The glittering chemical covers their bodies from head to toe; they light up the night like industrious fireflies. With such a coveted job, these "shining girls" are the luckiest alive―until they begin to fall mysteriously ill.

Songs:

You Deserve an Oscar by Matt Maltese

Love and War in Your Twenties by Jordan Searcy

Wham Rap! by Wham!

Everything She Wants by Wham!

She's Got a Way by Billy Joel

Movies:

The Wham! Documentary on Netflix was just a hell of a lot of fun, and inspired me reading both Andrew Ridgeley's memoir and get into more of Wham's music.

Good Will Hunting: It's the first time I properly watched it through, and loved it.

TV:

Star Trek: Strange New Worlds: I wasn't a fan of the first season, but the crossover and musical episodes (Plus adding James T. Kirk, spoilers), has really brought it around for me.

[acefaun]

Hello. Is RRR a good movie? What's your opinion on it? Happy Valentines day 💓 ( I know i am late).

Hello, loves! Good day!

Try 2 of “Can Faun write a movie review on Tumblr without getting bonked with Tumblr’s galaxy-sized eraser?”

I'm calm this time, I promise. I come with opinion. ✨

I looooved RRR! I was so deeply invested in my brOTP. 💖 I’m lucky I don’t have apartment neighbors or they’d have heard me screaming for my boys the whole time. (We’re gonna ignore that my screaming was probably mostly to cover up the sounds of bones breaking and blood splattering…)

But Bheem and Raju are just 🫶🏻 BROTP🫶🏻 

I think my favorite aspect outside of the storyline was the fact that the music was literally a narrative device. It wasn’t just background music to make the scenes feel powerful. I mean…. It made the scenes feel more powerful, but the lyrics were genuinely telling the story. 

🥺If I could stop crying over the back to back betrayals, that’d be great. Like they don’t even know they’re low key fighting for the same thing and my feelings for them are just hnskhddnkdhsns

But kudos to the one white chick that actually helped them(only after Raju popped her tires with nails… but that’s besides the point!). You know, you know, 🥰 Bheem’s English babe. 💖 I ADORE how love transcends language barriers. That woman deserves all the happiness with Bheem!! 

Overall, it was very beautiful and the story played out in a way that I really couldn’t have anticipated. For a three hour movie, that was a roller coaster! I feel like that movie did a 360 on me at least three times. It was like every hour had a completely different motive. Honestly, a movie like this could’ve probably been split into three parts but I feel like it would’ve lost its powerful transitions with their relationships and all the betrayals. The DRAMA and ANGST. I feed on main character angst. My soul flourishes to witness their pain!!

I hope this review was enough… 😅 I’m not 100% sure what to comment on, but those were the things that stood out most to me! My most important note for this movie: LONG LIVE MY BROTP(Bheem and Raju)!!!!!

[spiceynoodls]

I just found all the comments I had on the MLB movie in my notes app apparently I gave up watching before the movie was over lmfao

• The origin of Hawk Moth makes it sound like he was always feared • Marinette’s singing voice sounds nothing like Christina Vee • Her whole school is bullying her • Adrien is already friends with Nino • Tikki x Marinette musical number uses the MLB theme song • Why is the yo-yo doing that • We skip Adrien getting the ring • Chat Noir lands on his feet • Oh no they’re bickering • “What are you supposed to be? A watermelon?” • “That’ll do for a sidekick!” • Okay so Adrien Chat Noir is a stuck up brat • Oh no scary gargoyle • His plan is that he has nine lives and the power of destruction and night vision and good senses • Thingamajig! • Oh no scary monster • Oh no Chat Noir is a scared baby • He got hit lmfao • Oh my gosh the bells Ladybug hit did the MLB song that’s so funny • They’re really bad at their job • Dark subway for vibes • Chat Noir is playing fetch with the gargoyle and lost his stick • Ladybug called him “Kitty” • Why does the yo-yo make noises like that and have a mind of its own • Chat Noir has his foot stuck on a track while a train is approaching and Ladybug saves him at the last second troupe • Chat Noir has a crush on Ladybug and it played CARELESS WHISPER to show this • They did not capture the akuma • Master Fu is being weird and cryptic • Oh no they’re bickering again • Chat Noir acts like he didn’t already mention he holds the power of destruction • Chat Noir says something nice before once again being the worst • Chat Noir is a SIMP • OH NO HE’S SINGING TOO • Adrien is depressed • At least he mildly sounds like BP • He’s dancing on clouds why • Heart shaped clouds why • Geese shaped clouds why • Ladybug is bad at everything • Marinette’s parents love her • Adrien’s parents do not • Plagg has a fart joke • Plagg is disgusting • Tikki makes a trauma joke • Marinette called him Puss in Boots! • Adrien Chat thinks she likes him • Marinette Ladybug can’t stand him • Marinette agrees to keep being ladybug because Tikki said “pretty please” I wish I was joking • Marinette has no attatchment to Tikki and therefore has no reason to put the earrings back on • Gabriel’s acting like he just did party drugs • NO NOT GABRIEL TOO • WHY THE MUSICAL NUMBERS • STOPP • Kwami’s can materialize while the holders are transformed apparently • Revealing his motive through song and dance with purple & green backlighting • Who is this guy the Voodoo Man? • He’s releasing criminals to akumatize • Why the top hat why are they trying to make him the voodoo man • Alya got pictures of them when she wasn’t there somehow • Mimes with explosives because Carmen Sandiego • Nino is “the doctor of love” • Alya and Nino are giving conflicting advice to their respective friends troupe • Marinette’s dad is scary overprotective • Nino can’t follow his own love advice troupe • Adrien is nice as Adrien and bratty as Chat Noir for some reason • ADRIEN’S DAD CALLED HIM?! • Oh it’s just to tell him to stop being social nevermind that’s normal • Nino is afraid of roller coasters • Sabrina is afraid of heights and Chloe is guilt tripping her for it • Why do the rip off Mimes have magical powers • Nino’s glasses fell off he can’t see I’m scared for him actually • Tikki makes Wednesday Addams face • Balloon baby monster thing • Balloon baby was struck by lightning • Chat Noir caught a bullet in his hand • Chat Noir’s ring is running out of power even though he didn’t use catclism • The mimes were akumatized • Oh look they’re sparring • Marinette has a crush on Adrien for some reason • WALL SLAM WALL SLAM WALL SLAM • Marinette’s asking Adrien to the ball • Tikki is not invested in her love life • Chat Noir is so mean • Chat Noir has mommy issues :( • Chat Noir is gonna rizz Ladybug up with piano

[stressedanime]

the quarry counselors at disneyland - headcanons - inspired by this ask @needsmorewlw got

Kaitlyn

Kaitlyn would be the type that has the day planned out for them, and with her its ALWAYS go go go. But like she needs to be that way in order to corral the group to where they need to be

She has the app downloaded on her phone that says how long the wait times are for the rides, and she would be min/maxing their time in the parks by organizing which rides to go to first

She made everyone buy matching fanny packs so they wouldn’t have to worry about their stuff falling off mid-ride

Hers of course is filled to the brim with everything they could ever need: pain killers, tampons, band-aids, you name it

In terms of rides, Kaitlyn starts us off as our first roller-coaster fiend of the group. Anything that gets her heart pumping is a good ride in her eyes. 

Jacob

Jacob does NOT like roller coasters, but also will not stand down to a challenge (one “pussy you won’t” will make him do just about anything)

When they go to line up for the Incredicoaster he tries to say something like he’s going to sit this one out and watch everyone's bags (even though there's no bags to watch because of Kaitlyn and the fanny packs).

Emma and Kaitlyn won’t let that slide, and after Kaitlyn hits him with the “You scared Jakeyyy?” he gives in. Jacob screams like a little girl the whole time, and there might’ve been a tear or two while he was begging for his life (Emma secretly films it.)

Apart from that though, he unironically loves the “its a small world” ride, and forces everyone to go on it with him. 

It ends up getting stuck in everyone’s head, they have to resort to smacking anyone who starts singing/humming it for the rest of the trip

Abi

I feel like Abi is a Disney girl at heart, and took a lot of inspiration from the older 2D Disney movies as a kid which kind of kickstarted her artistic journey. This means that she likes the classics; her favorite rides being mainly the ones in Fantasyland

Her number one would be the Peter Pan ride

Abi definitely has one of those autograph books and gets every character they meet to sign it. 

She also LOVES finding the hidden Mickey’s. She’s constantly pulling on Emma’s arm, excitedly pointing out the hidden Mickey’s around the park and on the rides (Emma falls in love just a little bit more with her every time).

Dylan

Dude unironically loves the Winnie the Pooh ride. He forces everyone to go on it with him

When Pooh like ascends out of his body into the dream world Dylan yells “Did Pooh just fucking die???” which makes everyone lose their shit for the rest of the ride

Link for reference, go to 1:50

Dylan is also a COMPLETE nerd about Cars Land. As soon as they enter he’s acting like an excited kid, just absolutely gushing about how accurate everything looks

“IT’S LIKE WE LITERALLY STEPPED INTO THE MOVIE”

He would drag Ryan onto every single ride in that area of the park and completely fangirl over meeting Lightning McQueen and Tow Mater (and would probably attempt to flirt with McQueen while getting pictures with him)

Dylan would buy the extremely gay rainbow ears, and would not stop singing “be who you areeeeeee, for your priiiiiiiiide”

Ryan

Ryan feels like the type to get lost on a Youtube deep dive about Disneyland park history, and becomes really invested in the darker history of the parks, but he also gets really invested in the history of the ride making, especially the history of the practical effects

This shows in Ryan’s favorite ride being, of course, the Haunted Mansion, which has a very rich and interesting history just by itself. As they ride it, he points out the effects and info-dumps how they work to Dylan

Not just the Haunted Mansion though, his deep dives taught him so many secrets about the parks, so he’s just constantly pointing out the stuff behind the magic of Disney

For example, he’ll point out the vents on Main Street that pump out sweet smells to drag people into the candy shops

He also loves the Matterhorn ride, simply because of his love for cryptids

Nick

Nick surprisingly, is a HUGE fan of the water rides, Splash Mountain, Pirates of the Caribbean, Jungle Cruise, the Grizzly River Run, all of em

He’s basically addicted to the Disneyland water smell.

His favorite though has got to be the Indiana Jones ride

He grew up absolutely LOVING the movies, so the ride made his inner child so happy 

He wasn’t outwardly joyful, but the group could just tell by the wonder in his eyes and the soft smile he had when they went through queue, that he was having the time of his life

Emma

Emma is a thrill-seeker at heart so she would be our second roller coaster fiend. Will force people to go on the coasters over and over again with her. 

She also loves Tower of Terror, and is extremely offended over the new version of it. 

And of course, as our resident content creator she would be vlogging the whole time; bringing her camera out on rides when she isn’t supposed to, taking pictures and videos of everything they do and what they eat etc. etc.

At some point, she notices Abi checking out the Stitch plushies in one of the shops, who puts it back after looking at the price tag. Later in the day Emma sneaks away from the group and buys it for Abi. 

Max

His problems in Disneyland come from his almost crippling fear of the mascots. He doesn’t know why they make him nervous, maybe because he just doesn’t know how to interact with them? 

Why are they making kissy noises at him??? Is he supposed to do make kissy noises back??? He knows there’s a human in there so why are they making kissy noises at him.

He still gets forced to take pictures with some of the characters by the group, but he stands as far away from the character as he can (He’s still sweating though)

Apart from that though, Max is really into the food. If they lose Max at any point they just need to retrace their steps and look at the food cart lineups

He’s constantly running back to the group like “Laura I bought us churros!” or “Laura I bought us pretzels!” or “Laura I got us Dole Whips!”

Laura

Laura is our final roller coaster fiend, so her, Emma, and Kaitlyn would go on the rides together that the other’s don’t want to go on (especially if they want to go on a coaster over and over)

Max will get dragged onto the roller coasters with Laura too, but she will have to help him walk after because his legs will turn to jelly

Also, Laura and Max are definitely THAT couple in ride lineups. 

Link for reference of what THAT couple means

She also buys her and Max matching Mickey and Minnie ears

[lilithsrecord]

𝖗𝖔𝖒𝖆𝖓𝖙𝖎𝖈𝖎𝖟𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖘𝖈𝖍𝖔𝖔𝖑

part 2

♱ 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞

outward appearance means nothing if your are unable to carry yourself with grace and confidence. it’s important to radiate an aura that is unique to u and is beautiful and enchanting to others. find your essence. are u an ethereal innocent angel or a bombshell femme fatale? Just by channeling in a sort of character in your demeanour can drastically change how other people view you. you might be wondering “hey this is a bit much just for school,” and ur right but it’s all fun at the end of the day

𝐭𝐲𝐩𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬

𝔣𝔢𝔪𝔪𝔢 𝔣𝔞𝔱𝔞𝔩𝔢:

femme fatale: noun

an attractive and seductive woman, especially one who is likely to cause distress or disaster to a man who becomes involved with her.

"a femme fatale who plays one man off against another in pursuit of money"

a femme fatale is a women who shows power through how well she can toy with a mans brain. in hindsight she might seem like a women catered to the male gaze due to the strong enchantment she has upon men, but do not be fooled. a femme fatale is a strong willed and powerful women who only caters to her own needs. she achieves her goals by seducing her pawns to use them to her own advantage. channeling in the characteristics of a femme fatale can make one feel powerful, sexy, and oh so alluring. to become a femme fatale you must ooze with seduction. femme fatale examples include gilda, from the movie “gilda”, jane smith from “mr. and mrs. smith, and amy dunne from “gone girl”.

feel powerful when you walk from one place to another. let other people stare at you while they feel intrigued by ur allure but never completely give them what they want.

make your appearance look bold and striking. be sexy. dress to show off what other people want for themselves. wear dark and luxurious colours. let your hair be free and voluptuous. a bold lip and sharp eye makeup brings attention to the most seductive parts of your face. a femme fatale is nothing without a striking appearance

have your voice sound like smooth whiskey. speak slow to captivate others. make sure your voice comes out prominent and clear. add a slight rasp into your voice. each word u speak should be carefully chosen. people should be addicted to hearing you speak. be sassy and smart but always with class.

smell expensive. pick a scent that exudes class. examples: black orchid by tom ford. mugler alien. good girl by carolina herrera.

a femme fatale makes sure to always get her way. don’t be afraid to use ur seductive quality’s to get what u want whether that is good grades or social status. [ however do not put urself in dangerous positions. please don’t sleep with a teacher lmao ]

𝔠𝔬𝔮𝔲𝔢𝔱𝔱𝔢

coquette: noun

a woman who flirts.

in my own definition a coquette to me is a girl who is delicate and radiates innocence. she is more commonly known as the girl next door or the pretty girl. people become attracted to this essence due to the childish ways of a coquette. though that sounds concerning, a coquette isn’t a women who tries to act like a child on purpose. she is just a women who is naturally sweet and innocent. they hold onto a childlike quality that the rest of us have lost and so desperately crave. the allure of the coquette is ultimately her adorableness. her demeanour is light hearted and youthful. no one feels the need to do her wrong because she is just too cute for any harm. she is an ingenue. examples of coquettes are lizzy grant, cat valentine from “victorious”, alice cullen from “twilight”, and marilyn monroe.

wear clothes that make u look cute. the coquette aesthetic has been around for quite a while. the main aspect of a coquette outfit is its innocently teasing nature. wear bright colours that compliment ur skin like a blush pink, bright reds, and pretty lilacs. make people around u appreciate ur innocent look but know that there imagination is running wild. the makeup for these looks are more natural and rely on the condition of ur actual skin. take good care of ur skin. have a set routine but remember that it’s completely okay if u have pimples! you can still be a pretty little coquette even with acne.

vanilla or any kind of sweet scents are a staple for the coquette essence. ariana grandes perfumes are perfect for making people mouths water for a sweet snack when u walk by. olympea by paco rabanne is my personal favourite.

be kind and sweet to people who deserve it. people need to see u as a sweet and innocent doll who can do no wrong. but don’t be afraid to be risky and be the complete opposite of that once in a while. the rare moments where u show ur femme fatale side will have people incredibly intrigued by you.

perfect your voice. your voice should sound pleasant like some sort of princess. make your voice sound higher but not ear screeching high. add a beautiful mix of air and softness to ur voice. a breathy voice is incredibly intoxicating and suits the coquette.

𝔭ê𝔩𝔢-𝔪ê𝔩𝔢

pêle-mêle: adverb

in a confused, rushed, or disorderly manner.

also known as the manic pixie dream girl, a pêle-mêle is the essence of a girl who is described as whimsical, eccentric and is quite literal the life of the party. though at first glance she’s all rainbows and sun shine, the shadow side of the pêle-mêle can be described as a tortured artist. her optimism is delightful. she is not afraid to take risks. she’s a mess but people can not help to be intrigued by her free spirited ways for she is a drug to people who crave adventure. examples of a pêle-mêle include ramona flowers from scott pilgrim vs the world, mia wallace from pulp fiction, harley quinn from the DC comics, and holly golighty from breakfast at tiffany’s.

don’t be afraid to take risks. risks and adventure is what the pêle-mêle lives off of. be brave. do things you are afraid to do. start small and work your way up like from riding that roller coaster your so afraid of to having a motorcycle race with your friends (trust me those are so fun!). show people just how daring you can be and immediately people will be magnetized to you.

wear clothes that are unique and you feel comfortable with. the pêle-mêle rejects conformity and the way you appear should reflect that. wear clothes that harmonize with your crazy personality. be daring and bold with your makeup. make sure you stand out from the crowd and that you do not care what people think. the alternative style perfectly suits someone who embodies this essence.

be confident. obviously this rule applies to all the essences but confidence and self love is at the core of the pêle-mêle. you need to show people that you do not care what they think of you and that at the end of the day, you are just here for a good time. the more you practice self love, the easier it will be for you to express yourself without the fear of judgement from others.

be a socialite. don’t be afraid to speak your mind to people. pêle-mêle’s are usually people persons. they love good company that they can go on adventures with. make friends by being your true self and don’t hold yourself back. even a few mishaps by saying the wrong thing from time to time can make people fall in love with your clumsy nature.

obviously there are plenty of other essences you can achieve for yourself but these are my top three favourites. to find out who exactly who you want to become try the few tips listed below!

how to find your personal essence

what kind of people captivate you? what type of personalities do you see that you wish you could be? do you find yourself being envious of the pretty girl next door, the man eater, or the mysterious persona? figure out what kind of a person do u wish to truly become and inherit their manner. find out the characteristic of ur desired essence to the littlest of detail. this can include from the way you walk, talk, eat, sleep, look, smell ext. think of this as becoming your ideal best self. take the female archetype quiz to get a better understanding of your self.

what kind of aesthetic catches your eye? do you enjoy the glamorous high fashion life or do you like the softer cherry coke and heart shaped sunglasses niche? maybe you enjoy completely different things or a blend of a few. live up to this aesthetic. do this by expressing this aesthetic in the way you dress to how u decorate your room.

what kind of environment do you feel the most comfortable in? are you someone who loves education and school? or do you love the idea of being free and living in an RV for the rest of your life? maybe you just want to live in a cozy high rise new york apartment or a huge mansion up in beverly hills. envision where you see your ideal self in 10-20 years. your ideal environment can reveal a lot about what kind of lifestyle choices you want to make.

you might be thinking to yourself hey these aren’t the best tips for school. and at an educational standpoint you’re right. but it’s important to embody your best ideal self to truly enjoy this lifetime. these are little things that can be used to motivate you. i believe that inner self work should be prioritized over your school work though both are important. make sure you are taking some time out of your week to find out more about yourself and who you want to become. be the best you.

[soft-boi-eli]

okay I literally just made this acc bc there's no anon requests and I have an idea that I asked someone else but they turned it down and I'm lowkey embarrassed that they denied my request. I PINKY PROMISE ITS NOT BAD, HERE ME OUT

do you think you can write a lil bit about schlatt ending up having to "babysit" the reader (even though she's dead ass 18 lmaoo) because her parents are strict and don't trust her and they think Schlatt is a good influence because his parents are "🇺🇲🍟🐟🐷" but he's genuinely nice and respectful of other peoples views and opinions (unlike his other family). Basically Schlatt was like "aww hell yeah we're gonna play video games until 4am and watch action movies and be homies there's no parents stopping us" but the reader gets her period and she's just like laying around in misery and schlatt literally doesn't know what to do (bc yk periods are supposed to be a secret shhh) so he looks up what to do when girls get their period so while she's sleeping he just goes out and buys a bunch of stuff for her and its just fluffy (DONT FORGET PLATONIC) and the reader wakes up to all this stuff and its just 🥰 anyways she ends up falling asleep while watching Schlatt play COD.

(the reader is afab and uses she/her pronouns)

This is amazing. I have one other request but I am going to hop right on this one. Also sorry about the anon thing. I'm still newish to tumblr and I have no clue on how to turn it on. I've been trying to but i seriously cant find it. 😭

If this takes a bit I do apologize sincerely.

Pronouns:she/her

Warnings:periods cursing, strict parents.

Schaltt with an AFAB bff reader that he 'babysits'

Your parents. Thay dont know when to let you go.

Teaching you everything about females are supposed to be like this or that. Periods arent supposed to be talked about. They were the strict, bible Americans.

The best way to put it. Periods meant sin. And you were supposed to hide it. You were 18 in their eyes you're still a child. A child that worked 2 jobs just to hopefully live away from them.

But there was that rare day where you had it off from both jobs and could just relax.

That was until you heard there was someone coming to babysit you. You're a perfectly capable 18 year old. Not a toddler.

Yet your parents didn't trust you. You have a bed time of 10pm. And they got a baby sitter just for that.

He was there on time. And he looked you up and down in confusion. "This is who I'm babysitting right?" He looked the same age as you. "Alright. There will be no problem. They'll be in bed by 10pm. They'll have dinner at 6PM. And shower at 8pm." Your parents nodded in agreement and he watched them walk off. Shutting the door he looked at you. "Yeah. No. You are a grown woman and I'm not going to force you to do that. Also you're not paying me. You like call of duty? Action movies?" Perking up you nodded. "Yeah!"

He smirked. "Yeah. You up for a long night of movies and games?"

That day bloomed a friendship. The fourth time he came over you two were like best friends.

But the fifth time you seemed like you were dying. Laying around. Not wanting to play games. Not wanting to watch movies.

He was so concerned about you. Like deadass he thought you were dead his parents never saw the importantace of him learning what a period.

When you said the word period he was confused he searched it up and felt dread. You went through what every momth?! You can have so many symptoms yet nothing to help it?! What the fuck!

"Bro you want anything? Need anything?" You looked at him. He looked so concerned for you. "Heating pack. Dark chocolate. Please." He was quick to nod and start the heating pack.

Looking around the kitchen he couldnt find any dark chocolate and there was a store across the street. "You want strawberry ice cream and dark chocolate?"

The quite yeah was heard and he was off and back the heating pack fully heated and the ice cream that perfect texture. And a huge ass bar of dark chocolate. Along with a huge gallon of three flavored ice cream.

You know the neapolitan shit. You were so confused.

"Movie marathon or watching me play COD?" you thought for a sec. "COD." he nodded and sat next to you.

As you ate the sweet strawberry cream with frozen strawberries. Turns out he was preparing for when you finished you ice cream with the gallon.

When he saw you pint empty and you getting slightly sad he paused the game. In the middle of the campaign. And got you a huge ass bowl of the three ice creams.

You had never seemed so happy. Half way through the bowl you rested your head on his lap. You just wanted to sleep now and that's what you did.

You didnt know that schaltt left once more. Buying popcorn, your favorite candy, he felt embarrassed about this but he took a picture of the pads you use, like brand, size and everything. Got you quiet a few packs of them to be safe. Chips, chicken nuggets, even stuff to make your favorite meal by scratch. Stumbling into the stuffed animal aisle he scarned the shelves.

Finding a huge one with a zipper in it you had mentioned your parents have been trying to take your money and you could technically hide it in there.

Checking out the cashier gave him a weird look. But he didnt give two shits, he literally carried it back to your place. No car to help. He took that mile long walk with the bags and got back right before you woke up. Pads in the bathroom everything set up so it was easy access. And the stuffed snorlax was huge.

Like a fuckin bed huge.

He didnt wake you. Just started up his game again.

When you did wake up you were covered in a blanket, snacks set out in a nice array of candy to chips.

Four drinks. Two waters and one coke with the other being your favorite kind of soda.

Then the heavenly scent that came from the kitchen. And before you could even get up to see what it was schaltt came out two (bowls/plates) of your favourite food.

"You didnt have to do this." He shook his head. "I wanted to. You're in pain and all that shit. You need to relax, keep hydrated, stay warm. All of it. And I might as well take care of my best friend."

I have finished. I do apologize if this isnt fully what you wanted!! And the other person was quite mean. I dont reject unless I fully explain it and tell them gently.

But I hope this is good. I have been quite busy as of late due to it being the first and all.

But yeah. Nearly died today and all. Roller coasters, indeed fun, but sometimes unsafe.

It's all good though had lots of fun at a fair, keeping safe with covid and all, I even got a shiny rock I am very happy.

Anyways have a good day!!

[submissivekillers]

*sees jennifer check needs more love* that's my WIFE i've got u. request for takin her out on a cutesy date?

wife life wife life wife liiife. i thought of a bunch of lil date ideas so hc list for now!! but would b happy to expand any of these to full fics uwu

not to start off sad but,,, i lowkey feel like jen probably hasn’t been on many cutesy dates before 

like i don’t get the sense that her relationships (with men) have been all that deep or long-lasting, considering the way she talks about them (particularly in this deleted scene - “placeholders,” doesn’t really indicate strong attachment.) and on another level, devil’s kettle just doesn’t really seem like a place with a ton of cute date options  

ANYWAY. this means that the fact you go out of your way to plan out cute lil outings with her just makes her fall even more in love with you!! 

in general, jen would really like getting ready together with you and coordinating your outfits a little before you go out! this doesn’t mean your style has to be as preppy-femme as hers or that she wants to go completely matchy-matchy - just something like coordinated colors or an exchange of accessories is enough. she likes knowing that the two of you have a united front, so to speak

though if you do lean femme, she’s def going to want to help do your makeup too. yes i am thinking about That Picture 

also as a general rule? she’s big on PDA. wants everyone in the world to know that this hot piece of ass is hers and damn is she proud. she’ll cut back on it if you’re not as comfy with it as she is, but she still wants to hold hands or hang off your arm at the very least (or just slip a sneaky lil hand in your back pocket when she’s feelin Frisky) 

now it might take a few minutes for jen to break out of the carefully-crafted Alpha Bitch™ persona, but she’d have a ton of fun on a carnival date. favorite rides are the death drop roller coasters or those insane spinning rides that pin you down by gravity or whatever. absolutely ruthless at bumper cars but makes up for the crushing defeat by winning you a billion plushies that are all bigger than your entire torso. will make out with you on the ferris wheel but will also make fun of you for being a romantic dork. worth it imo

coffee shop dates are another fun one, especially during exam season. she might not be able to digest human food now, but she still likes the smells of coffee and fresh-baked goods - and she’ll happily buy you whatever snacks you need to keep you going. once again, will affectionately make fun of you for being a nerd who makes study dates, but she’s got just as many notes to review as you do so don’t take it personally

am i projecting because i fucking miss coffee shop dates? what about it

when neither of you are in the mood for crowds or when it’s late at night and you just need to wander, the two of you will just hop into one of your cars and go. sometimes it’s semi-planned - you’ll pack some snacks, a little blanket to lie on, stuff like that - but there’s never a destination in mind. just driving around, talking and listening to music, until you find somewhere with a good view to park

if y’all pass an abandoned building of any kind there’s a 90% chance she’ll pester you to pull over and break in. jennifer check urbex icon

she definitely has a little collection of Stuff from dates: ticket stubs from rides and movies, the playlist you made for her on that night when you drove around for hours and ended up skinny-dipping in a random lake, the jacket you draped over her shoulders when she “forgot” to bring her own. each item comes with its own little set of memories of you

[eruden-writes]

Slow Burn - 3 (Endeavor x OC)

WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR CURRENT CANON STORY. TITLE SUBJECT TO CHANGE.

Months have passed since the war. The heroes won, but there's still rebuilding efforts to be completed. And not just buildings and cities.

Maemi Ono is one therapist, among many from her US-based agency, who is chosen to treat Class 2-A (previously Class 1-A) as a group and Dabi, of the former League of Villains, individually. However, with the war still fresh in his head and suspicions high, Endeavor isn't so sure Miss Ono's intentions are entirely as good as they seem.

When Maemi's past rears its head, will it prove Endeavor correct? Or will it pull Maemi further into Endeavor's orbit?

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 (coming soon)

---

Part 3: Hot Flash

An hour after arriving, Maemi and Endeavor found themselves riding the ferris wheel together. Yet another group of teenagers had snagged the two adults, guiding them toward this ride soon after they’d disembarked a roller coaster. Considering how quickly the two were being escorted to new rides, Maemi wondered if it was all carefully orchestrated to keep Endeavor away from Shoto. It was very likely, she decided, knowing how Class 2, as a whole, operated.

Despite their disagreements and often theatrical rivalries, the kids had each others’ backs.

And who was Maemi to dissuade their antics? At least Endeavor had deigned it favorable to start riding, rather than leering at the mechanical rides as Maemi enjoyed herself. 

Of course, his companionship was a bit painful on a slow-moving ride like the ferris wheel. Endeavor sat in the car, arms crossed and silent. Just staring. 

“Oh, we’re at the top,” Maemi said, if only to fill the silence with something amiable as the ride, once more, stopped. She stared out over the world spread out below them. Across long stretches of cement, the ocean could be seen, blue and shiny in the bright sunny day. Ocean birds dotted the sky and cloud inched overhead.

Maemi’s words stirred Endeavor from his mind, where he had been mentally gnawing over cases or creating to-do lists for his sidekicks upon his return from the frivolous field trip. His eyes swung over to Maemi. Not meaning to sound irritated, but succeeding in doing so, he huffed, “So?” 

“You know that silly trope in romance comics and shows.” Maemi laughed, thinking of the collection of comics and novels and movies she had accrued from the students this year alone. With a lackadaisical gesture, she waved her hand. “You’re supposed to be kissed at the top of ferris wheels and it’s supposed to be super romantic.

“In my experience, it’s usually too windy and you have to shout to be heard, but today is pretty nice.” Maemi smiled, thinking of how many students were probably hoping for that warm and fuzzy kiss at the top of the ferris wheel. Oh, to be young and eager for those little moments. Her eyes flickered back to their window, to the horizon ahead. “Maybe someone will get that shoujo comic kiss.”

While Maemi was fondly remembering the days of crush-induced palpitations and romantic daydreams, Endeavor narrowed his eyes. The way she spoke of this common trope of romantic media, it sounded wistful. “Do you want to be kissed right now?” 

The air in the ferris wheel car went cold, Maemi’s eyes widening as she registered the man’s question.

“What?!” Maemi spun around to face Endeavor. Affronted heat licked across her face, coloring her cheeks an equally mortified and taken aback red. “No! What sort of question is that?!” 

“You mentioned it.” He shrugged, but tension wrought along his shoulders, momentarily regretting even asking the question. Stubbornness swept the remorse away. It was a perfectly fine question to ask and Miss Ono’s reaction was unnecessary, he decided.

“I was just making commentary!” At the back of her head, Maemi knew how she sounded. And it made her flush all the worse. The more logical part of her brain chalked it up to her students’ emotions finally sinking their teeth into her. “Plus it’s probably something on my students’ minds, too.” 

“You can read minds now?” Endeavor cocked a critical eyebrow at her.

Maemi wanted to groan as the sunlight caught the man’s eyes just right, making them all the clearer. 

“No, I just…” Her words trailed off as she took a deep breath, closing her eyes. His eyes were unnerving her. She pressed her hands to her burning cheeks, the cool skin of her palms trying to calm her frazzled nerves. “I like to be aware of how they’re processing their lives. Media tends to play a big part in that.” 

“I see.” He stared at Miss Ono, with her eyes closed and cheeks a tender pink between splayed fingers. As her eyes opened, sunlight streaming behind her and the ocean far off in the distance, he decided she was right. It was a lovesick teenager’s fantasy set-up, the top of a ferris wheel, alone with another person in an enclosed place. If asked later, Endeavor couldn’t begin to explain why he continued to speak. “Kind of sounded like you wanted to be kissed.” 

“Well I don’t!” The flush bit across her cheeks, with renewed vigor at his words. Her shoulders stiff, Maemi swung her face away from Endeavor and crossed her own arms. “I’m done talking to you.” 

“I find that hard to believe,” Endeavor scoffed, rewarding him with Maemi spinning back around to shoot a glare at him. She opened her mouth, ready to bite out a retort. But the man’s eyebrows arching upward, the faintest sensation of a smirk waiting to break over his lips, made her mouth clamp shut. 

Maemi ‘hmphed’ and turned back to the window, glaring as the slow moving ride eventually returned them to the start. All the while, she could feel Endeavor’s eyes on her back. Waves of his curiosity and pensiveness licked along her spine, peppered with that ever present suspiciousness. 

By the time the ride made its full rotation, and the operator opened the door for them, Maemi was desperate to escape the stuffy confines. She climbed from the car, her footfalls thumping loudly on the hard plastic. 

“Hey, Miss Maemi, you’re lookin’ pretty flushed!” From the line, Sero flashed the school therapist a big, shiteating grin. His tone teasing and singsong. “Something happen up there?” 

She didn’t even turn to face the boy, embarrassment already burning her face up. Instead, she spat out the first excuse she thought. “Hot flash!” 

“What’s that?” Sero boldly turned to Endeavor, who was slower to get out of the car than the flustered woman, eyebrows high and that grin widening. “You changin’ your hero name?”

Before Endeavor could even consider how to reply to the cheeky young man, another student in line cut in. 

“Doubtful. Older women get hot flashes when they go through menopause.” Iida adjusted his glasses, head tilting to the side as his gaze followed after Miss Ono. “But I don’t think Miss Ono is old enough to go through such a condition.” 

Mina shoved at Iida’s shoulder, a finger in her bespectacled classmate’s face. “Don’t talk about Miss Maemi’s age! It’s rude!”

With a roll of his eyes, Endeavor left the teenagers, now bickering and researching menopause or discussing the etiquette of talking about a woman’s age, behind. It didn’t take long for another group of teenagers to, once again, intercept the hapless adult buddies. 

“Hey, Endeavor! You’re Miss Ono’s buddy, right?” A young woman with dark green hair and a sharp smile - Tokage, Endeavor wanted to say - waved to him from a line just outside a water ride. Other teenagers milled about behind her, all with varying shades of awkward smiles. “Come ride the log flume with us!” 

With little other choice, Endeavor relented and approached them, Miss Ono refusing to meet his eye as he closed the distance. Her cheeks were still noticeably pink.. While in line, once the youngsters inevitably forgot about their presence, Endeavor leveled a look to Miss Ono. “Another ride already?” 

Maemi could only look at the man from the corner of her eye, the tingling in her cheeks now bearable. “They thought I was looking overheated.”

“They were right,” he answered, without pause. “You were looking dangerously flushed.”

Miss Ono gave a quiet and defeated groan, her shoulders slumping as she pressed her hands to her face. 

Faintly, very faintly, Endeavor could feel the corner of his lips twitch. It was gone the moment Maemi peered up at him, angling her hands slightly away from her face to get a better look at his face. Now he wasn’t meeting her gaze. Curious suspicion glinted in her narrowed eyes, picking up on an almost nonexistent bead of amusement from him.

Maemi gave a curious hum and Endeavor tensed, though he wasn’t certain why. Thankfully, he didn’t have to suffer long under her gaze as she soon turned to face the front of the line, waiting patiently in silence. Part of him remained on alert, side-eyeing the woman warily. Concerned with the thought that, perhaps, Miss Ono wasn’t simply waiting for the ride.

[astralkoo]

I love your work! Do you have any JJK or Jimin fanfics to recommend to us, besides yours? (I've read all of it at least 10x each lol)

First of all thank you so much, you’re an angel and I’m so so so so incredibly happy you enjoy my writing 🥺❤️ second of all do I ever!!!!!!! I’ve never made a fic rec list before so bear with me:

JJK

One Shots ;

Kiss it Better by @jincherie

(okay literally everything written by jincherie is amazing I am obsessed w her hybrid/supernatural fanfics, I’d definitely recommend you check those out but cheerleader jk wearing a FREAKING SKIRT just does something to me. And it’s so cute and funny and adorable and you just will absolutely love the all of the characters)

Bite Me by @jeonsweetpea

(where do I even begin? Vampire reader? Masochist Guk? How do I express my love for this one shot? I do not know. But I love it, very much and highly HIGHLY recommend. I’ve read it so many times it’s not even funny at this point. And it’s still one of my favorites ever.)

Euphoria by @jeonsweetpea

(I have a massive weak spot for anything android I think that is so freaking cool and this one shot was so good!!!!! Subby Android Jungkook is just heaven for me okay, like my wet dream. Sorry was that TMI? whatever, check out this one shot!!!)

Deal by @vinterjeon

Hopping Mad For You by @readyplayerhobi

(This is the fic that made me realize that all I needed in my life was bunny guk and I high highly recommend reading it (if you haven’t already) bc it is sososososoos adorable and guk is the most precious human/bunny ever to exist and I love it with all my heart)

Little Wolf, Pretty Wolf, Your Wolf by @readyplayerhobi

Knock Out by @gamerguk

(I remember seeing the teaser for this and being so excited and checking back every day for the full fic to be posted and then it was and all of my expectations were exceeded and I absolutely loved it oh my god it’s so funny and sexy and yes I recommend.)

Baby Boy by @gukptune

(this is one of the first guk fics I read on here so I have a soft spot for it :(( plus I love it and guk is adorable and sub guk is even cuter thank you and goodnight.)

Gold Rush by @nochugguk

Cardboard Castle by @kittae

(the image of jungkook sucking a popsicle has been burned into my head and haunting me ever since I’ve read this fic. and also I want to build a fort and cuddle w him in it. The perfect sexy cute combination.)

Dumbo by @cinnaminsvga

(this fic is wild bro, the reader is crazy bold and I love it and jk has nipple piercings and I can’t get that image out of my head it’s so sexy oh my god.)

Wintervale by @fantasybangtan

(ohhhhhhhhh my goddddddd I loved this one shot so muchhhhhhh it was so sexy and well written and ugh. Again, subby jk so I love it, thank you very much. It’s part of a series, and I’d definitely recommend you check out Taehyung’s pirate au too which is also phenomenal.)

Stay In Your Lane by @luxekook

(oh my goddddddd bratty kook is a big yes!!!!!! and this fic portrays that so well and I love love love it!!!)

Series/Multiple Parts ;

Freak-Quency by @gukslut [ Companion Piece : Boots ]

(he spits in your mouth and you punish him and it’s one of the sexiest things I’ve ever read and I love it and oh my god yes + plus rockstar!guk is just something else yum)

To Tame a God by @vinterjeon

(holy fcking shit, this series is just *chefs kiss* immaculate in words I can’t even begin to describe. I’m a btch for a good werewolf au and the fact that kookie is a bit of a sub? yessir thank you very much plz check this out it’s one of my favorite series ever)

Bunny Troubles by @appreciatethefoolishness

(this fic is so freaking cute I can’t handle it. Bunny!guk and Sub!guk tied into one is almost too much for me to handle on its own but wrapped up in this adorable fic is just UGH you know?)

Bitchin’ by @kinktae

Flesh & Blood by @kinktae

(okay jungkook is literally a freaking zombie how sick is that? I loved Warm Bodies (both the book and the movie) so I love this series!!! It’s cute, funny, smexy and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it!)

The Doms Next Door by @tatertotthethot (ft. Tae)

(okay hear my out. I usually do not read dom!bts fanfic bc I prefer subby boys over dom boys, I don’t know why that’s just how my mama made me. But this fanfic— holy— oh my god how do I even— it’s so phenomenally written and so enrapturing and engaging that it just completely pulls you into the plot and you become invested and intrigued and holy fuck it’s so sexy and I really did like reading it a lot so even if you’re not so into dom!bts I’d say give this a chance and see what you think!)

Secrets of Silk by @nochugguk

(y’all wanna talk about camboy guk? Because I do. And this fic is freaking immaculate. I read it a while ago so I don’t remember too many specific details but dude, I remember just being hooked and absolutely loving it.”

Felicity by @nochugguk

For Science by @boymeetsweevil

(ugh I love love this series, it funny and cute and sexy and the perfect amount of messy and I def recommend checking it out!!!!)

If your into sub guk please check out @namsjunies fics, just all of them bro HERE is the link to their masterslist

PJM

One Shots ;

While You’re At It by @aureumjeon

(dudeeeee I remember seeing the teaser for this and getting hooked immediately!!! And then I read the actual fic and it was so freaking good!!!!! Pool Boy Jimin is something to behold, I must say.)

Florezco by @honeymoonjin

(this one shot is just so pretty. It is so freaking pretty. There is something so rhythmic and beautiful about the way it was written, the words and language used. The descriptions are beyond astounding. The plot as well is so amazing, you can see through every little interaction how their relationship grows and developed and it is so beautiful.)

Diary of a Bodyguard by @kernelmeow

Series/Mutiple Parts ;

Good Boy by @btssmutgalore

(if I’m going to talk about sub jimin, I’m going to talk about the Good Boy series, I mean come on that’s just a given. This series just— yes. The character development, the relationship growth, the ridiculously well written plot, just all of it. It’s an amazing read through and through and a definite must read!!!)

Handyman by @drquinzelharleen (ft. Tae)

(ohmygod I love this series so much. Jimin yum, reader is a boss bitch, the sex is right up my alley but it also has plot with ups and downs and I very much enjoyed reading it and perhaps (more than likely) you will too.)

Timid by @jincherie

(I melt every time. It’s so sweet, so cute, freaking tooth rotting. Jiminie is so precious and lovable and shy and I am so weak for him it’s actually not even funny. If you want cute hybrid jiminie, this is the fic to read, I swear you won’t regret it.)

Blood Rank by @gukptune

Baby, Baby by @hobiwonder (ft. Tae)

(bro, the relationship between Tae, Minnie, and the reader is just— wow. The development between the three is incredible and oh my goddd its amazing.)

Between Other Worldly Creatures by @btsjeonjazz (ft. Tae)

JJK + PJM

Humanity by @bts-trash-blog

(these hybrid babies are so precious bro I swearrrrr this fic gave me a roller coaster of emotions and I can’t wait for more parts to come out!!!)

Peach Blossoms by @pasteljeon

Abundance by @angelicyoongie

(okay, I know this is technically OT7 but oh my god, you wanna talk about one of the best hybrid fics I have ever read??????? It is so incredibly well written and the boys are a mess but an adorable lovable mess and guk is so cute and jiminie is a little shit but damnit I love it and I am so excited for when everything falls into place and they’re happy and lovey and sorry I am getting ahead of myself but if you haven’t read it already, it’s a must read.)

[clouditae]

First Love | 14

Yoongi x reader | 18+ | college au | tattoo artist au | angst | fluff | swearing

Word: 2.6k

You first saw him in the multi-purpose room. Later learn his name, and on your third year, as he becomes your neighbor, you discover his lifestyle. Knowing your crush on him was nothing but that, you wanted to find the courage to look for love. Asking your friend for help, you’re pointed in the direction of the expert. Your neighbor, Min Yoongi

Chapter Index

Ari never seemed as happy as she is right now after you just asked her to help you find the perfect outfit for today's date. She squealed and yelled about how happy she is for you to be going on a date with a “God” as she put it. 

“Do you want Hoseok to hear you?” you whisper, listening intently for your neighbor to come banging on your door.

“He’s still on campus,” she states as she opens her closet and digs through her line of clothes. “The only person that should be there is Dick Mcgee. Unless he's somewhere as well." She hands you a yellow sweater, moving to your closet to dig through it for something else. Even though her eyes are on the inside of your closet, it seems as though she senses your confusion with the top she hands you. "That's a laguna yellow."

"You seem to know your colors," you mutter, grabbing a pair of light blue jeans from her.

"Should have majored in fashion," she sighs before gesturing to the bathroom behind you. After a quick change you're seated at her desk and given "the second biggest makeover of a lifetime." You really don't know what that means, but you're not going to say anything. It's probably just best to let her do her thing so that she doesn't mess your make-up up because you somehow offended her. Ari talks the entire process--mainly about how she imagines your date going today. The two of you are going to talk about everything while walking down the sidewalk at the park brushing the back of your hand against each other. The two of you are too shy to say anything about it, but after a few more brushes, he gathers the courage to take your hand in his. Your hand fits perfectly into his like any romantic situation. There's blushing and no eye contact.

You want that. You want all of that. To feel loved and to have all those feelings you felt for Yoongi, but to have someone feel the same way for you. "I'm scared," you whisper, eyes closed as you feel the brush run along your lids.

There's a pause in her movements. It's silent for a few seconds before she speaks, "Why?"

You open your eyes, meeting her gaze as you answer, "I've never had anyone tell me they like me before. I know it sounds stupid, but I'm just scared of all that is going to come after this date. What if he doesn't like me after this? What if I'm only meant to just like someone and that's it?"

Ari cups your cheeks, squishing your face. "It's okay to be scared, Y/N. You're new to the whole dating thing, and if he doesn't have feelings for you after this then he wasn't the one. It'll suck because you like him, but your future husband will pop up soon." Ari goes back to work on your eye shadow, your eyes closing. "So don't worry about it, Y/N." When Ari is done with everything, she can't help herself and begins to take pictures for whatever app she's using. "I wanna show you off." 

Your phone chimes and you both freeze. Grabbing your phone off from your bed you open the text.

[2:48 pm] Hanbin: Hey! I'm outside the dorms :)

"He's here," you tell her, clearly nervous all over again.

Ari claps her hands in excitement. "I'm so excited, and my first date was years ago." She grabs your bag and hands it to you as she rushes you out the door like she did a few days ago. "Tell me everything when you come back. I'll make sure I'm not with Hoseok or anything!"

Saying your goodbyes, you let out a deep breath and make your way down the hall. Every step is slow and drag-like. You're so nervous you feel like you're going to throw up. What you didn't expect, however, is when you step outside and make your way down the steps to see him standing at the end, all that fear leaves. You aren't scared, but excited. Happy.

"Hey," he says, smiling his perfectly crooked smile.

"Hi."

He sticks his arm out towards you. "Ready to go?"

You smile, looping your arm through his. "Let's go." He leads you towards the parking lot, passing a few parked cars before going in between two red vehicles. He opens the passenger door to your right, acting gentlemanly. You laugh, "Thank you." You get in the car as he closes the door and makes his way around. "Okay, Y/N. You got this. You got this." He opens the door. "Where are we headed?"

He shakes his head. "That's a secret," he answers. "I'm only hoping you'll like it." Turning the ignition, his car comes to life and he puts it in reverse and backs out the spot. "If not," he begins, putting the car in drive, "I should have just taken you out to dinner." The drive is silent at first, but once you bring up midterms, the conversation goes. "We're almost there," he tells you after a while of talking, pointing to the glove compartment. "There's an eye mask in there. Can you put that on?"

You open the compartment. "An eye mask?"

"Cheesy I know, but Ari said you love this place and I thought doing this would make it ten times better."

"Okay," you say, a bit reluctant as you put the mask on. You sit in silence, hands on your lap as you feel the car take a turn. You don't know how long it was, but you guess around five minutes before the car comes to a stop.

Hanbin turns off the engine and tells you, "Don't remove them just yet." The door opens and you hear a weird roaring sound. Where are you? A few seconds later your door opens. "Give me your hand?" You unbuckle your seatbelt, sticking your hand out and feel his grab yours. He helps you out of the car, placing your bag in your hand for you to drape around your shoulder. "Do you know where we are?" he questions.

You shake your head. "It's hard to tell." There's a sound of people screaming. "Where are we?"

"Not yet." He guides you, your hand wrapped in his as you walk for a while, every now and then him telling you that something is coming up. The roaring and screaming is louder now. You think you know where you are, but you could be wrong. A few steps later he finally stops and says, "Okay. You can take them off."

Reaching for the strap on the mask, you pull it off, blinking to adjust to the sunlight. When your vision is clear, you look up and see the huge, familiar sign. Dragons Throne can be read in big red and bold letters. A green dragon with its mouth open and fire coming from it twists its body around the T.

You look to Hanbin. "You brought me to Dragons Throne?"

He looks a little dejected as he replies, "Ari said you love this place so I thought it would be a great first date, but I guess I was wrong—"

"No, no," you cut him off, shaking your head and hands. "I love this place. I was just surprised that we would be here," you laugh nervously. "I've never been on a date, so from all the romantic movies I've seen, first dates are usually dinner and a movie."

He nods in understanding. "Hopefully this will be better than dinner and a movie." He holds out his hand towards you. "Shall we have fun?"

You hesitantly reach for his outstretched hand, taking in that this could be something. You could finally have that happy ending you've been waiting for. You didn't realize the first time how big his hands were compared to yours. It’s like yours disappears when you hold hands. After a few minutes of waiting in line to get past the entrance gate, you are now giddy with excitement. It's been a while since you came here, and even though you've been on all the rides, you still can't help but feel like you're about to ride them for the first time.

"Where should we go first?" he asks you, looking down to meet your gaze.

The Big Drop? Slasher? What ride should his first experience be? "Let's start from this side and work our way around," you negotiate, pointing to the right and sweeping your arm around until it stops to your left side.

He chuckles, "Deal." You lead him towards the first roller coaster with excitement as you get in the short line. "It said the wait will be fifteen minutes," Hanbin begins, leaning against the railing, "I'm thinking we can play a game in the meantime."

You look at him with an inquisitive gaze. "What kind of game?"

"Well we've talked a lot, so we know a few things about one another. Let's quiz each other and see who has a better memory."

"What does the winner get?" you catechize, leaning against the railing across from him.

He taps his chin in thought. After a few seconds of thinking he answers, "The winner gets a prize from the stands here."

"Deal."

Hanbin grins. "I'll start and it'll be an easy one. What's my favorite color?"

"Orange." He nods. "What's mine?" you ask.

"Gray. What's my mom's name?"

So he plans to go further than what you expected. You thought maybe it’s simple questions like his major, favorites and so on. You weren't expecting questions that involve family members, or most likely questions about his childhood. But you have a good memory so you know basically everything he told you. "Mindy."

It seems like both of you are competitive with how hard the questions are getting. You both want to win and be known as the person who knows the other best, but it seems like it'll be a tie. It doesn't stop after the first ride. No. Each wait the questions continue and it surprises you how much you two talk within two weeks. As the hours go by you become more comfortable around him. You don't wait for him to take your hand, you just go for it like you've been doing it for years.

After the two of you have ridden half the rides here, Hanbin suggests, "How about we get something to eat?"

"Sure. What are you in the mood for?"

"What are you in the mood for?"

You begin to think of all the restaurants and stands that are scattered around the park. What could he be in the mood for? Fish or meat? Maybe just fries and a corn dog? Your mom always boasted about the turkey legs they have at the park in your hometown. "Well we can go to the food court area and we can figure out what we want," you suggest.

"Sounds good." He smiles, letting you lead the way once again. You pass by a few characters taking pictures with kids and adults before you reach the main area where a majority of the food stands and restaurants reside. Walking past the stone arch, your eyes immediately drift to the nacho stand. It's not like there isn’t a variety of good options, but since you first tried their nachos here, you can't help but get them every time you came here.

"I see nachos," Hanbin comments and your eyes dart to him. Is he your soulmate? He looks at you. "What are you getting?"

"Nachos."

He grins. "Great minds think alike." There is no one in the nacho line so you order and receive your food quickly. Taking a seat at an empty table, you and Hanbin dig in. Comparing your plate to Hanbin's you realize you are as simple as it gets. Just jalapenos and that's it. Hanbin, on the other hand, has jalapenos, onions, sour cream—the whole works. "Want some?" he offers. You quickly shake your head. He laughs, "Not a fan?"

"Onions." Hanbin can only laugh even harder.

The rest of the day is all a fun blur. Your hands never let one another's go for a majority of the time. Taking breaks you’re snuggled close together. You take photos together and you send them to Ari. He even won you a prize even though you lost by one question. To you it feels like a date that you only see on extremely romantic movies. Like a princess going on a date for the first time with the prince she eventually falls in love with.

After a long day, and basically staying until closing, you and Hanbin get out of his car in the dorm parking lot. In one hand you have a light pink bear and in the other Hanbin holds yours lightly, fingers laced. People are hanging out on the sidewalk chatting away dressed for going out as you two pass them and head up the stairs. You’re ready to fish out your ID to open the door, but another group of people opened the door to leave. The hall is loud; full of chatting people, loud music and even a few doors open where you can see figures dancing.

"So this is what it's like to dorm," Hanbin chuckles, continuing to lead you down the hall, past the stairway and into your hall. Reaching your dorm door he stops and turns to look at you. He smiles warmly, his thumb brushing along your skin. "I had fun," he tells you.

"Me too," you confess, heart fluttering as you grip the bear tighter. "Thank you."

He shakes his head. "I'm hoping there's another one sometime soon."

"I'd love that. Maybe after midterms?" you suggest. Just enough time to do a date or two more before break.

"Yeah," he begins, staring at you with such a warm gaze you feel your cheeks warming, "I guess it's time to say bye."

You didn't want to. "Yeah."

A few seconds of silence. "Can I kiss you?" he whispers. It’s like the hairs on the back of your neck stand. No words are leaving your mouth, so you nod. Hanbin leans in slow. As if he is still making sure you want this. He gets closer and closer until his lips touch yours. It is everything you ever imagined. His lips are soft and he kisses you slow and with so much care. You're only falling for him even more. When he moves back, he presses his forehead against yours. "Night, Y/N."

"Night," you breathe. With one last kiss you watch him leave.

You can't help but grin as you pull out your key and enter the room. You're not even mad that Ari isn't here. You're so happy that nothing can break you. You place the bear on your bed, put your bag on the floor, grab your pj's and take a quick shower. After your shower, you climb into bed, lie on your side and snuggle with the bear. You close your eyes and imagine the whole date over again.

In the silence of sheer bliss a soft rhythmic sound can be heard. It is a small tapping sound, but it grew louder and louder as well as the sound of a girl moaning. It hits you. It's like the beginning of the semester all over again, but it's different today. You have Hanbin. You have someone who likes you and wants to go on another date with you. He's not Yoongi. He's better.

So why are you crying yourself to sleep for the second time because of him?  

[monkey-network]

The Howling Wonderment of Wolfwalkers

POTENTIAL SPOILERS AHEAD    

Yeah, this film was enjoyable and I loved it. “Cuz you’re a furry?!” *BANG!* ...Yes, but there’s certainly more to my love. Next to Pixar’s Soul, this was one I was anticipating because of its unique style as Cartoon Saloon has been one to be far different from what you could call the norm in animated films lately. It’s up there with Laika and Aardman as a studio where after enough time, you really get their style. With its stunning visuals, Mebh existing, and yeah it being about wolves, this felt like a film worth watching. And it was worth watching. Hell It was worth seeing with however beautiful it is and can be...

The environment work is the MVP of this film’s visuals if not the character designs. The visible difference between the compact, sharp angled town of Kilkenny and the more wavy, rounded shapes of the forest stand out remarkably. This is indeed of the best looking films I’ve seen in a long while where just seeing the effort that went into every background would satisfy my day. Then again, much as it’d be nice to end it here, looks aren’t everything. Unfortunately, and I’m getting this out the way, it certainly ain’t flawless in terms of story.

For one, it is really cliched where communication is stubbornly walled, it’s necessary but in hindsight I nonetheless felt annoyed by how things wouldn’t have as escalated as it did if one or so moment of miscommunication didn’t happen. I can forgive it for having plot elements that I’ve seen in other places, but this really stood out. And my major issue, the one true stain on this otherwise smooth pair of pants, is our villain. The Lord Protector can look intimidating, and is thematically necessary, but really was a one-note imitation of Judge Frollo where God is all it takes to be the worst ever. I say it would’ve worked better if he had more eccentricity to his motives but no, he’s just unmovably evil and pompous, distractedly like Ratcliffe from Pocahontas. And I don’t care if Ratcliffe was funny and the two films can be similar in some areas,

I should not be reminded of Pocahontas in any light

But honestly, that’s it. While the villain didn’t leave a good impression, the conflict doesn’t feel hindered by the cliches. Really, the movie outside what I wanna say is a very long final act runs at quite a brisk pace. I’ve paused for screenshots but I never felt like the film was jogging for time. We certainly get to take in the environments, the juxtaposing sense between constriction and freedom. I mention that things could’ve been resolved more smoothly but the film has a great sense of escalation where yeah, that final fight did feel long but justified in every moment. It all makes things count, be it the increasing rift between Robyn and her father to the roller coaster friendship of her and Mebh. The latter, speaking of which, is the GOAT.

BEST. GREMLIN. WOOFCHILD!

Mebh exhibits the most lovable energy as a character, has as perfect a design, and this film is as much her story as it is Robyn’s. I’ll get to something vital in a moment, but the friendship/sisterhood in this film is so refreshing to see. Mebh honestly was everything I wanted for this character and more because how in her element she can be vs when the situation gets drastic. They give her the range and overall, she is an amazing child character and that really is what makes this film work so well regardless of its hiccups. As much she appears as an alpha, she is still just a child and we see that, no punches pulled, in the film’s latter half which leads into my takeaway.

The fear of the unknown can lead to the unbalance of control. Of course Robyn and Mebh are two sides of the same coin if we’re talking responsibility. One who wants to claim it in being a wolfhunter and one who has to in being the alpha wolfwalker. Both of which do so for the sake of their parents, who themselves didn’t want to put their children in harm’s way. They’re mainly surviving, and what they actually desire is to live. Both girls come to understand what they want for themselves and come to fearlessly face what’s kept them along the wall, so to speak. That’s what makes the moments of the two running as wolves so liberating, what makes Mebh’s emotional journey over the fate of her mother so naturally emotional, and what makes the finale come together so well.

I don’t like The Lord Protector as you know, but he does serves as a necessary evil for everyone involved; a man who tries to absolve any responsibility for what he does yet seeks to have absolute dominion over everything. Which is why it adds up that Robyn’s father, who for the runtime has been under his thumb, becomes a wolfwalker alongside Robyn. Goodfellow isn’t a bad father for his overprotectiveness, nor a terrible person for being a hunter given those times, but his arc about being there for his daughter to where he takes finally control, following her daughter in going against his previous outlook, to defeat the villain and make up for his actions by being the final one needed to save Mebh’s mom after turning into a wolf himself is the most poetic to say the least. But ending with Mebh, Robyn, and their parents heading elsewhere and the two children get to run once again, free from the weight of everything before and enjoying each other’s company as the closest of their new found family?

Like I wouldn’t happily tear up at the thought

This film can appear simple, but the heart of it is definitive in every step. From working through conditioned prejudices to kiltering responsibility with ambition, Wolfwalkers makes so many good notes with a very complimenting artstyle, good pacing, and compelling characters especially. I mean, the fact that it’s about wolves was enough to lure me in, but I stayed well enough for one of the best Cartoon Saloon provided.

Again, I love this film.

[insufferablelust]

THE ARTIST AND HIS MUSE (v)

Hi lovely people! it’s me again with the fifth installment of TAAHM, hopefully y’all enjoy this, as always thank you for your support, and excuse the grammatical errors. As i said before, this story is dark themed, so it can get triggering to some people, please read the warning, and read at your own risk.

WARNINGS : BEWARE DARK FIC. SMUT, Angst to the max, Mental Illness (PTSD, with severe anxiety and depression), Some Fluff, hints/mention of Suicide (doesn’t happen), Psychological abuse (in flashbacks), over sensitivity (both sexual and non sexual), hints of Masochism, Anxiety attack, Soft raw tender moments, aaand thats it.

———————

A human creature born abnormally, inhumanly sensitive.To him a touch is a blow, a sound is a noise, a misfortune is a tragedy, a joy is an ecstasy, a friend is a lover, a lover is a god, and failure is death. —Pearl S. Buck.

———🍃———

Little did they know, that night is going to be the beginning of a roller coaster ride.

———//———

It was already late when she opened her eyes the next day, her soft sigh occupied the quiet room as she scanned for the one person she craved the most, biting her lips at the cold left side of the bed sheet. However, he’s kind enough to leave the only thing she could reminisce about last night in a form of a long letter note he left on her night table, written with purple ink,

“Good Morning Y/N,

I hope you’re feeling well, although knowing how anxious you can get, i know your mind would wander off and we don’t want that. If you can remember what i said, then good but if you can’t, i said that i left because it’s more convenient for the both of us, not because i don’t want to be with you. Believe me, watching you sleep right now really put an image inside my memory that i’ll never forget, you’re so beautiful.

I hope you don’t mind, but i put on Debussy on your vinyl right now. I want you to know that we’ll still talk about it, preferably today, maybe we can go have dinner unless we have a case. There are things i never got the chance to say, and i think its time i finally tell you, later.

As for your past, we’ll also talk about that too. But i want you to not worry— yes i’m disappointed still, but i know why you did what you did. We’ll figure out a way.

Lastly, please take care.

Spencer R.”

By the time she had finished reading, her internal being is overflowing with emotions, dangerous ones that she won’t be able to control and she knows this. Her eyes teared up at the sight of ‘Classical Lover Etiquettes’ cued up on her record player. Her legs were incredibly sore, as much as her thighs and arms. There was just so much that’s happening, so much to feel, and she needed to escape.

Her feet dragged her to the balcony, inhaling the scent of life, breathe in heavily as she hoped— cross her fingers hoping to die that the amount of oxygen would be able to drown her from all the confusion, even more so the horrors that started to flows back in. Spencer opened a large deep wound that she had buried a long time ago, and then he showed her the way to paradise. He confuses her as much as she probably confuses him.

She wanted to apologize for being complicated, wanted to get on her knees again and show him how much she needs a savior right now; someone to love, and cherish to get her mind off of the horrible things in the past. She wants him to know that he can help her, by guiding her like he did the night before, by owning her like he said the night before, by loving her like he promised. She needs to be devoted to him, she would do anything for him.

She knows how damaged she is on the inside, she put up a persona every day so people could believe that she’s alive. But the only time she ever felt alive was with Spencer. The only time she ever wished she’s not complicated is when she’s with Spencer, His name consumed her like the opiates she used to take. He owned her soul already and she’s not letting that go. Even if the world stands in her way. She deserves this, this pure thing for once.

So she cried, hard. Hard enough for her neighbors to hear, to check up on her, but she wasn’t listening, she stayed crouched down in her balcony, her vision was blurry and she can’t think of anything— only Spencer.

“Spencer..” was the only thing she remembered saying before she witnessed darkness and drowsiness penetrate her eyes as well as her other senses— sending her to sleep.

———————————

Y/N didn’t even flinched when her father’s screams once again filled her ears, telling her how she doesn’t belong, she isn’t supposed to be here, isn’t supposed to exists. She could smell the strong scent of alcohol from his mouth, clouding her senses, but she refused to give in and cry, in fact she doesn’t feel a thing. Moreover, she’s just bored, her father never got violent with her, never laid a hand on her, neither does her step mother— well not when he’s around anyways.

By the age of 9, Y/N already knew what kind of man her father was, the kind that doesn’t want to admit reality, he’s a violent genius who works in the dark, with barriers covering all sides of his life. He never hurt Y/N physically, like he always claimed. But 12 years of psychological torture will fuck you up, she thought. She lived in isolation, and darkness where the only things she knew.. were alcohol, math, abuse, impending death, and screams.

She doesn’t have anyone related that’s nice to her, enough to shield her from all the abuse. The only person that could bring her peace is Mr. Bones, one of her father’s men. He always looked out for her, he gave her hope ever since she was old enough to know that being told you were never meant to be alive was not okay.

“I apologize, papa. It won’t happen again, I swear it.”

Her eyes stayed on the ground as she feels the warmth of his palm so close to her cheek, she yelled in her mind— her mind telling her to scream at the old bastard to “Hit me!”

“Hit me!”

“Make it hurt!”

“HIT ME!”

——

Y/N felt a jolt, her eyes searching for signs of where she might be but she can’t seem to open her eyes, the smell— is clean like iodine, the next thing she felt was the rough yet strangely comfortable sheets that grazes against her skin, And then she heard the talk, someone’s talking.. She recognized the voice well, so well like its imprinted deep in her soul, She tried to open her eyes.. yet she keeps on missing.

“S-she— i found her pale.. she was so pale and cold.. “ Spencer! her mind screamed, that’s Spencer.

“Spencer!” She tried to yell, but still nothing,

“Spencer please!” Nothing.

“What did her neighbor said?” Hotch!

“Hotch please i’m awake!”

“She was screaming, and they found her clutching her shirt tightly, she was crying and she.. she said my name over and over again, before blacking out.. thats why they called me first after calling 911” Is that true? she has been taking her meds, hasn’t she?

“Did anyone said that she was about to jump or anything like that?”

“No! No! Spencer i’m not suicidal!”

“N-no i don’t know.. Hotch i was with her last night, i should’ve—“

“Please don’t cry! please i’m sorry i love you i won’t do it again!”

“Hey no, she looked like she was having a panic attack. Has she ever mentioned anything about being depressed? or experiencing anxiety attacks maybe?”

“no... no... don’t tell him Spencer, you promised.”

“Stop the silence, Spencer you promised you won’t tell anyone.”

“N-no.. not that i know off.. she wanted company so i stayed with her, we watched movie.”

“Spencer...” She tried again, believing that it won’t work, he won’t hear her, maybe she’s not even here anymore— just floating away from her body. But when she saw his head turned towards her, she sighed contently, letting go of all the burden for a second just to hear him mutter her name in silence and peace.

“Y/N... you’re awake wait let me—“ before he could exit the door, Hotch pulled him back a little, telling him that “It’s okay, let me get the doctor.” Leaving Spencer and her alone.

Her heart rate accelerated as he sat down on the chair next to her, eyes filled with worry and fear— Y/N couldn’t take it, couldn’t bare to see how broken he looks, because she was selfish and complicated, because she was damaged.

“I-i wasn’t... trying to.. jump” Her voice came out laced with fragility, all raw and quiet. She’s trying to tell Spencer that she’s alright, as long as he’s here she’ll be alright. “Don’t.. please don’t blame yourself, it was an anxiety attack, a bad one.”

“Have you been taking your meds?” There it is, the question she has been hoping she wouldn’t have to answer. She looked down at his trembling hands, reaching to grab it but unable to do so because she realized now that she was restrained to the bed.

“Why am i being restrained?”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“No Spencer i haven’t! now why am i restrained? i’m not a danger to anyone.” Y/N half yelled with a cracked voice, closing her eyes tightly at the tears that’s threatening to spill out of her eyes.

“Miss Bones, i see that you’re awake now.” Her eyes never leaving the sight of her cuffed wrist, ‘did they honestly thought you were planning on killing yourself?’

“I’m not suicidal, i’m an FBI agent for god’s sake.” The tone of her newfound voice surprised everyone including Spencer.

“Then why were you unconscious on the balcony of your apartment?”

“Because i haven’t been taking my pills! look, i haven’t for years now and i was fine. It was just rush of emotions, and i got overwhelmed okay? doesn’t mean i was going to jump. Believe me thats the last thing i would’ve wanted.” The last bit was a whisper, indicating the raw pain behind it. It was the truth, moments before you passed out you were thinking of Spencer, of how he’s your savior.

“Okay, Agent. We believe you, now why don’t you get some rest, and we’ll have you prescribed for something stronger, meanwhile i’m going to take the cuffs off” The doctor replied gently, except you know he’s not a doctor well he is but he’s a psychiatrist. Great, now everyone think she’s crazy.

——————

After the incident, you rarely talked to anyone on your team not because they don’t want to but because you won’t let them. You’ve caused enough pain, so the last thing you want to see is the pity on their eyes and face, it was nice seeing how they care though— sometimes in the mornings you can hear Garcia and JJ dropping new baskets full of goodies and treats for you to try. Sliding a note underneath your door before leaving.

Hotch insisted you to take a month break, which you would’ve tried to argued but you knew you didn’t stand a single chance. You could’ve lose your job, he could’ve fired you for lying about your psychological problems and endangering yourself but he didn’t, though he wanted you to take the break, and do another psych eval, so you agreed.

The bad thing about not going to work, except the obvious fact that you miss your work family and you missed out on catching men women alike your father and his killer— is not seeing Spencer often enough. It made you anxious just thinking how he’s doing constantly, Prentiss has said in a text that ‘he seems okay, just a little off’ in which you ended the conversation quickly, not wanting to let invasive questions spring up to life.

You’ve tried to contact him multiple times, yet he never answered the calls, there was one time where he had responded your text; it was the one after you told him that you haven’t eaten and taken your meds because thats what you do now, pretending like he actually listens you, that day you heard a knock, before finding out that there was a box of pizza; the tuna, with creamy mushroom kind, your favorite. Spencer is the only one who knew about it, so it was him. You cried that night knowing that he was close... yet you didn’t see him.

After that, nothing. Nothing at all, until it was your 17th day isolated in your apartment trying to get better. A therapist from FBI was supposed to come today, checking up on you, Hotch’s order. So when you heard a knock, you opened the door without looking.

“Y/N...”

“Hi you must be the— Spencer?” You eyes went wide as you recognized the person standing at your door, you swear your knees buckled finally seeing him again after so long. His hair seemed longer, his eyes has bags under them, he doesn’t look fine.

“Spencer, you look—“

“Can i come in?” His voice startled you, it was deep, deeper than you remembered it last.

“Yes, yes please come in..” You watched him enter your house, eyes scanning through every bit of everything, probably profiling your condition. So you let out a chuckle as you close the door, “I’m fine Spencer, unless you didn’t notice, i’m doing therapy 3 times a week plus routine visits from every therapist in town it seemed like. So i’m good” the tone of your voice reflects sarcasm and you know it, but how can you help it when he wont even look at you.

“Thats good..” He mumbled, sitting down on the couch where you two talked the last time about your past, you remembered that night’s event so clearly you could’ve sworn you have an eidetic memory. “You haven’t been sleeping have you?”

“no.” you sat down next to him, deciding that you shouldn’t touch him even if you wanted to.

“Why?”

“Because i worry about you.”

“Spencer, i told you i’m—“

“No! no you can’t say that you’re fine, again. do you know what you did me? after the night we had, you basically suffered an anxiety so bad you collapsed on your balcony, while whispering my name. You don’t get to say that you’re fine, i deserve more Y/N.”

You didn’t flinched even once when you heard his voice raised, if anything you just close your eyes and not let the volume of his voice get inside your head, “Everyone who yells is the same like your father, wake the fuck up” is what your mind been telling you but you refused to listen to it, Spencer is good, he’s a good man. So you controlled your breathing for a second before opening your eyes to see Spencer’s face begging for answers.

“You’re right, you deserve answers and you’ll get your answers but can you please listen to me and don’t interrupt? Spencer, i need the space if you want me to tell you, the space to make you understand.” Your palm move on top of his to see his reaction, you expected him to swat your hands away or at least flinched but strangely he let out a pleasant sigh, like he was relieved, like every weight has been lifted off of him.

“Okay, i’m sorry for—“

You cut him off before he could say what he’s sorry for, you don’t need it— his reactions are normal, too normal that it makes you fall in love with him over and over again. “Shh, don’t. You don’t have to explain, you don’t have to respond, just.. wait here, i’ll tell you everything okay..?”

With a nod you get from him, you stand up to make two chamomile teas, bringing it to where Spencer is sitting on the couch, then after you put on Gymnopédie on your record player, you sit down next to him. To your surprise, he leaned and laid his head on top of your thighs, curling up on the couch— which sent a smile to your face, you haven’t smiled for so long and of course Spencer Reid is the one who put your first smile since.. you don’t even remember when.

————

“It’s one of my favorite, I love the serenity of it.” You whispered, as your fingers ran through his soft hair. Relaxing your back against the couch and enjoying the tune of one of your favorite classical of all time. Spencer smiled at that, you swore the smile could lit your insides like nothing else.

“I’m a beethoven guy, but i guess Satie is alright..” He laughs, his laugh sounded like heaven, his smile and laugh makes you dizzy. This is the Spencer that makes your heart pound ten times faster, and the one that makes you lost for words each time, the one that you’ll love... too fast Y/N, too fast.

“Of course you are, it’s not hard to see..”

“Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

Spencer looked up at you, he looked so pure like this, like he was made to justify every wrong things that has been done, like he’s an angel that protects the earth from filth. He’s pure and tender, it takes all of your willpower to not lean down and kiss him.

“Oh yes, explanation.” You laughed awkwardly, eyes refusing to meet his. “Look at me, please” You shake your head at his demand, your eyes still trailing to where the record player is going.

“Look at me, Y/N.” You did, you looked. Under any other circumstances, the authoritative tone would instantly leave you dripping wet ready to submit to him. But this time, you only whimpered and nods.

“Good girl, now tell me” He cupped your cheeks, the gentle gesture sent you to oblivion.

“I don’t know where to start..”

“I heard the beginning is a great start.” His lips tugged into a wide smile, you heart warmed at the sight before you sigh, your fingers still curling and uncurling itself on his hair.

“I opened up to you that night, it’s something strange for me, i told you something that i swore i would never tell anyone, but i told you because.. because you were right, you are right Spencer. And i guess after that we took it to a whole new different level, i want to be able to do all the things with you and cross all boundaries but it’s something new to me, so that morning when i... woke up alone, it was scary, i felt so small and sad in such a big space. I was overwhelmed, by the thought of letting another person in, i don’t wanna take it slow but then again the transition won’t be easy for me.” Spencer opened his mouth as he was about to say something, but you simply leaned in shakily and press a quick peck on his lips as a sign that you’re not done yet, to your surprise he pulled you down one more time and let the kiss linger this time before letting you pull back, whispering a small “go on.”

“I lived in isolation most of my life, the only taste of real life emotions i ever got was the moment right after my graduation. The man who saved me, he teached me social skills, and the basics of.. of having this gift of rawness emotions. But i’ve been so closed off, i realized its just not possible for me to fall in love or feel such a strong emotion towards another, the only strong emotion i’ve ever known before this was.. hatred towards my father and his killer.

I had PTSD when i was 13, consistent with severe anxiety and depression, at one point Mr.Bones insisted that i...i started talking to myself, admitted me to a psychiatrist where i got my.. antipsychotics for um the voices. But i came out well, and he promised me that if i was able to make it, he would change my identity, stripped me out of my old misery, give me a new one, my father was a very very important man where he worked, so does his men including Mr.Bones. Thats why before i was 21, there’s no record of Y/N Bones existed because.. i didn’t, i never existed.”

Y/N ended it with a smile, looking down at Spencer whose eyes brimming with tears. She shook her head, her trembling fingers wiping the traces of tears. “Hey no no, please don’t cry, please it’s hurt to see you cry..” She whimpered.

“Spencer please say something..” Her eyes pleaded with her, as he sat up, before inching closer to her and before she even processed the warmth of his body, his lips pressed themselves against hers in a gentle loving way. His thumb stroking her soft supple cheek, as his lips took its time to explore every inch of hers, imprinting how it feels so he can remember it all the time. Y/N wrapped her arms around his neck as he guided her to his lap, pulling back a little.

They stared at each other for such a long time, before Spencer move his hand downward— tugging on her shirt. “Do you want to?” His voice rise your goosebumps to wake, all the adrenaline rushing through your core as you nod eagerly. “Please”

——————

“Tchaikovsky.”

“what?”

“This is tchaikovsky.” Spencer looked up at her, seeing how needy but beautiful she is, her skin glistening under the dim lights, her lashes are wet, her eyes glassy, and her lips bitten raw. He smiled admiring her before continuing his exploration down her labia, stroking it gently— almost like he’s teasing her.

“yes Spencer this is, Oh god!” you stopped mid-sentence as you felt the warmth of his tongue exploring from her slit up to her clit, flicking the sensitive button gently— Holy mother! doesn’t he know how sensitive she is?

“I’m pretty sure Tchaikovsky isn’t god, Princess.” the doctor giggles as his fingers tracing her tummy gently, caressing every mark every curve every indent every scar so so gently to show her how much he appreciates her, appreciate her beauty— all of it.

“Shut up!” She whined and shuddered as she feels him burying his face against her sensitive pussy, tongue swiping side to side at her slit as his nose bumps against her clit sending intense pleasure throughout her body making her jolt and convulse as she tug on his hair.

“Are you sure that’s wise, princess? i’m the one in charge of your orgasm here” Her legs quivered, his tongue push inside her and explore every inch of her inside— moaning at the taste and catching every drop.

“Sorry! so sorry Spencer, just don’t stop!” Oh how sweet is that, her voice cracked at the end, meaning he’s doing a good job. And the boy wonder does seek for praises sometimes.

“Never planning on it, love.” He mumbled against her pussy before inserting two fingers in, and moving them in a brutal pace whilst her tongue and lips sucking on her clit.

“Oh! Spencer, you’re so good at this” Her eyes shut tightly, as her fingers gripping his hair— she’s practically grinding against his face which he moaned at the sight and taste of her, oh so heavenly.

“C’mon Princess, come for me then i will give you what you’ve been waiting for” oh the way she clenched around her fingers so tightly, made him groaned and shut his eyes tight as he works her over the orgasm

“Spencer! oh! thank you!” Every inch of her skin was burning and her brain was mush. So much pleasure, that she could die happily now. Her body shivers still, when he comes up to leave tiny kisses on her face. “Good girl.” Spencer then align himself at her entrance, sliding the tip up and down her pussy.

“Ready, princess?”

“Yes.. yes please?” With a smile on his face, Spencer bent Y/N’s knees before pushing the tip of his cock inside of her slowly, indulging in the velvety warm walls that welcomed his cock. The feeling is like home. Her mouth agape, as her eyes roll at the back of her head, and her fingers intertwined with his.

He stilled inside her for awhile as he let out grunts of how “so warm and tight, pet” she is. He then leaned down to press a gentle loving kiss on her lips before thrusting his cock in and out of her slowly, keeping the pace light as they both relinquish all the frustrations out, and indulging in each other’s warmth. It’s perfect.

“so— full, Spencer..” Her desperate whimpers was the one that egged him to move faster, thrusting his hips so every-time he thrusted in, the sounds were slapping of skins and their moans. But when one particular deep thrust, her cunt involuntary clenched around his cock and she screamed “Thats it! thats it fuck!”

Spencer grinned, before letting go of her hand to grip her waist, pulling her closer to him then continue to fuck her with a torturous brutal pace, hitting the spot over and over again. “I’m not going to last if you keep- fucking clenching that tight cunt Y/N” He warned, eyes glinting with a dangerous look like how he was that night. Feral.

Strings of plea left her mouth as she arched her back, he was so deep— filling her to the brim and making her feel good.

“Please cum inside me!”

“I will baby, i will. But first you gotta cum alright? can you do that? i know you can, c’mon” His breathing labored as he move even faster, her headboard banged against the wall, and her body bounced. With one final deep thrust, they reached their peak, and shuddered at the feeling. Spencer pulls out before grabbing a wet cloth from the beside table and carefully wiped her sensitive areas, causing goosebumps that were dying down to rise again.

“Swan lake” Was the first thing she muttered as her legs still quivering, Spencer looked up at her confusedly as he set throw the cloth to the dirty hamper and laid down beside her once more, cuddling her to his side.

“What?” he asked, his fingers running through her hair.

“Tchaikovsky’s, Swan lake was playing.” They both laughed at her answer, shaking their heads. It wasn’t until Y/N’s eyes flickered to his hazy ones, that they muttered it together,

“I love you—“

“I love you—“

———————

TBC!

As always, TAGLIST is open, blurb requests are also open any genre of course, send them in along with suggestions and/or constructive criticisms! thank you. Just message me or send me an ask :) thank you for supporting. I’M SO SORRY FOR THE REUPLOAD, the TAGS DOESNT WORK TUMBLR IS MEAN TO ME AGAIN❤️

( @blancastans @spencerwaltergubler @slutforthegubes @n1ghtsh4d3-67 @babybloomer @liaabsurd @midnightsubmissives @addie5264 @maybankslut @secretpickleprofessordean )

[dramionecommentfest]

Reader Profile: Kiwi05622

The Dramione Comment Fest is the fest where readers take center stage! We’re excited to feature profiles of some of our readers throughout the course of the fest. First up, we have the most delightful and lovely @kiwi05622​!

Location: Middle East Hogwarts House: Slytherin Pronouns: she/her When did you start reading Dramione? How did you originally find fics to read?  I started reading in 2017… I think. Or was it 18? I'm not sure anymore. But one of those years lol! So yes, I'm still relatively new to the fandom. But I have devoured so much that it's come to the point where all the stories I've read have started to mingle with each other, and I can't tell you which story is which unless it had a massive impression on me and stood out. How did I find fics? I had this friend of mine, who was a closeted fic reader (I will never forgive her for not introducing me to this world sooner) that kept on dropping these obscure hints my way whenever Harry Potter would come up in our discussions, which was often. She would call me and ask what I'm doing, and my answer would either be, I'm reading HP, or watching one of the movies. She never once judged me or asked me why I'm spending so much time re-reading and rewatching, and I love her for that. One night, she got a little frustrated with me when I whined about NEEDING MORE of it, and she snapped. She was like KIWI JUST GIVE ME TWO CHARACTERS THAT YOU LOVE, and I shyly replied Hermione and Draco? She had the audacity to sigh (she is not a Dramione lover by any means). She sent me a link to Ao3 with a message "Welcome to my life, and I wish you luck stepping foot inside this black hole. Bye.” because I didn't know better. I didn't know what I was getting myself into, I clicked on the FIRST link I found, and this is how Bleak Manor by Pushthebutton became the first story that made me -surprisingly- fall in love with Dramione and fan fiction.  How have you gotten more involved in the Dramione community? What platforms/websites have you participated in, and which do you like? I'm not VERY involved in the fandom, if I'm honest. I'm an introvert by nature. Even though I started reading years ago, I only started joining Facebook groups last year. From there, I stumbled onto Tumblr (which was the weirdest platform I've ever been on, but now I LOVE IT), which then led me to Discord. This is where I'm currently stationed. I'm not as active as I used to be on Facebook. I also reached out to many people on Discord and found friends that I no longer call "internet friends," and I find it easier to communicate to authors over there.

Tell us about any reading preferences or practices!  Okay, I won't talk about my past habits, because looking back, it was really unhealthy. But I remember I used to read at every waking hour; I would only *sleep* to generate energy to keep ongoing: Goodbye food and social life. However, now, I dedicate time to reading, and it's usually 2 hours before I sleep. So I'll have dinner, and then open up my kindle and read until my eyes can't stay open. My days are usually spent talking to friends and doing many things that need to get done. I started off reading with my laptop until my boyfriend got annoyed by the bright lights emanating from my screen (honestly I didn't even think about reading from my phone). He later suggested reading from the iPad, and I stuck to that for a fair bit, until one night, I ran out of battery, and I couldn’t find the charger, so I reluctantly read from my phone, which I later obviously loved. I could read on the train, while making dinner, taking a walk (because we all need to exercise at some point). Then, after my boyfriend was SURE this wasn't just a phase, and I'll probably be reading for the rest of my life, he surprised me with a kindle, and the rest is history.  

Do you like to leave comments? If so, what is your advice for leaving comments?  If I'm completely honest with you, sometimes. I'm guilty of moving on from a chapter to chapter without taking a moment to comment. Telling myself that I'll go back and let the author know how much I enjoyed this part or that part. But I forget. Once I'm done with a story, I want to MOVE ON to the next one. However, in the past year, I've made an active effort to write down everything I feel on my phone while I read on my kindle, so I can go back and paste my review. That’s the other thing, I read SO much from my kindle, that it makes it so easy to forget to go back online and submit a review. And with Discord, I usually read with my friends, and sometimes the author will be there while we talk, theorise and flail all over their work. It's a much more interactive experience. I think authors would prefer that over a thank you. This isn't to say that a thank you doesn't go a long way or isn't appreciative, but honestly, how many times can an author say you're welcome? Or thank you for reading? This takes me to the second part of your question. The one advice I would give is, don't expect a response back. Do it because you genuinely liked it. Suppose we keep expecting and wanting the author to respond, especially if a chapter gets SO MANY reviews. In that case, it might seem disheartening to the reviewer, and they're left feeling unseen or that their review was lacking, which isn't the case most of the time. Tell them how it made you feel, which parts did you love, which string of emotion was plucked and left vibrating in your chest. Tell them that. But also, saying a simple thank you is enough. Personally, I would go to the last chapter and tell the author how much I've enjoyed their story if it's a story that was posted years or months back. If it's a story published years ago and they seem inactive, I would slide into their DMs and flail all over the story. You'd be surprised how many actually respond.

What is your all-time favorite fic you’ve read?  ALL TIME FAVOURITE is such a difficult question to answer. So I’ll compromise and tell you which one I really really really LOVE but also list a few that I can't be parted with. If my room was caught on fire and I had all these stories in front of me and I had to only choose ONE I would say Risk Reward Ratio by @MissiAmphetamine and its sequel! Okay, I know I cheated, but *sigh* honestly I love it. And I’m not sorry about it either. It's not what you would typically hear because it's not really a fluffy story and there are some questionable actions, plots and let’s not start discussing their relationship. But you see, I enjoy a story that questions my morals sometimes, where I find myself asking “what would I do in this situation?” Plus, as you’ll see below, I have a thing for angst with a happy ending. That being said, I also love love love these stories and they each hold meaning to me, because I've read them at various stages of my life: 

Redemption by @anondracomalfoy (wonderfully written story and very enjoyable!!! It’s a memory trope mixed with some suspense)

Revert by SUPRNTRAL LVR (this is when I found out that I can actually cry while reading a story lol) 

Remain Nameless by @heyjude19-writing (I will FOREVER love this story and no one can taint it for me. If you ONLY knew how much this story means to me *cough* I spent every moment I wasn’t reading this making her moodboards that's how much it moved me *cough*)

The Art of Betrayal by @hathawaywrites

Across The Hall by @takingflight48 (this one just hold a special place in my heart)

Thirteenth Night by Nelpher (This is the story that changed my mind about memory loss trope which is my LEAST favourite)

Nightmares and Nocturnes by @olivieblake (one of the most creative and unique war stories ever written)

Hindsight by @floorcoaster (This changed my mind about T rated stories)

Broken by @inadaze22 (this taught me a lesson to READ THE TAGS, but the pain was worth it)

Sugar and Spice by @inlovewithforever (ummmm do I need to say more? This is one of the best triads I've ever read)

Looking Glass by @kyonomiko​ (Every time I'm in a rut I go back to THIS and it never fails to bring me back to life and remind me why I fell in love with these two. It's light hearted, funny and has my second OTP. it's a win-win for me)

Find Your Way Back by @willhavetheirtrinkets​ (Musyc) (I will forever rec this story to everyone)

Pound of Flesh by @pennilynnovus​ (HELLO STRIPPER DRACO! This one tore my heart out, I love it!)

Honestly, the list can go on and on and on. There are just SO many good ones out there that I haven't mentioned yet, but I wanted to list only a few that I will always go back and re-read. Also, just because I haven't mentioned the ones that we keep seeing everywhere, doesn't mean I didn't enjoy them or loved them! 

What fic gave you the most feels? Definitely “Risk Reward Ratio.” It gave me SO much feels. Some were good, and some were pretty bad. It took me on a wild roller coaster ride. I was happy, sad, angry, happy, sad, angry. I laughed hard in some places, I cried even harder in others, I wanted to pull my hair out MOST of the time, and some parts were oh so good the butterflies wouldn't settle the fuck down. But ehh I like what I like, and I'm unapologetic about it. :D

Who is your favorite side character from any Dramione fic? This one is easy! Theo-fucking-Nott! Without a shadow of a doubt. You want to make him the most awesome sidekick character, go right ahead. The best bro, be my guest. The one that has secret feelings for Hermione? GIVE ME THAT TRIAD!!!!! You dare to make him evil? FUCK YES! I'm SO here for it. Even if he is one, I will STILL love him. I always get slightly giddy when Theo makes an appearance, and I tend to enjoy the story that much more. He's an interesting character to me because he's ambiguous. Canon never gave us much about his personality and reading how everyone interprets him makes him one the most versatile characters in my humble opinion. :D

Last question: Do you really like kiwis?? Hahaha!!!! Yes, I really do. This name was given to me by the people who were worried I had a mild obsession with kiwis. You don't have to ask me what I need from the store, because my answer would always be “we've run out of kiwis, BRING ME SOME MORE.” However, let me just make it clear that I'm not a heathen and I don't eat them with their skin on (no judgment if you do).

Thank you so much, Kiwi, for sharing with us! The Dramione community is lucky to have you <3 

Don’t forget, sign ups for the Dramione Comment Fest close February 6, 2021. Check out the rules here and sign up for the fest here.

[allthefilmsiveseenforfree]

Godzilla vs. Kong

From the first rumble in the seats in the Dolby theater, I was so glad I chose to see this movie on the big screen. At times it felt like I was on one of those “4-D” roller coasters where the seats rumble and they spray water on your or pipe smells into the audience. That’s how close I was to the action! As at least a casual fan of the previous entries in the Monsterverse, I was looking forward to Godzilla vs Kong and my goodness, those medium expectations sure were met. How medium was it? Well...

I would like the science in this movie to win Best Comedy or Musical in next year’s Golden Globes. This is probably the hardest I’ve laughed in a theater in over a year (obviously there are other reasons for that, but the sentiment still stands). This movie was nonsensical, loud, shiny, dumb fun and I had a great fucking time watching it. Oh, you probably want a plot summary - I’m just gonna refer you to the title of the film. That about covers all you need to know.

Some thoughts:

“Somewhere on Skull Island” - whaaaaat is with this title card? It’s a tiny island. How many possible locations could there possibly be for a giant fuck-off ape to be taking his nap?

I know we’re not here for any semblance of plot but boy, they really sprained something trying to lift these clunky paragraphs of exposition into anything resembling what actual humans would say.

These opening credits are one of the funniest sequences I’ve seen in ages.

My main man Brian Tyree Henry! I had no idea he was in this (frankly I knew virtually nothing about this movie because what do you even need to know about a movie with the title Godzilla vs. Kong). He’s playing a completely different vibe than I’ve ever seen him play - the comedic relief and a mile-a-minute vaguely conspiracy theorist podcast host who is obsessed with Sir Zilla and the other Titans. I really enjoyed seeing this other side of him!

Absolutely terrible waste of Kyle Chandler, who was probably paid more than my yearly salary for 60 seconds of Protective and Frazzled Dad perfection.

One of the highlights of the film is the performance of young actress Kaylee Hottle as Jia. Jia is Deaf, and so is Kaylee in real life, and I’m always here for more Deaf representation onscreen! And her friendship with Kong is one of the few things in the movie that elicits any genuine emotion of any kind. When he booped her I literally said “Aw!” out loud.

The visuals of the hollow Earth are very cool and remind me of those space age desktop backgrounds that most of the guys I know who built their own PCs and spent a lot of time on Tor.com would have had.

Even the most ridiculous films like this one will sometimes include little bits of worldbuilding that are thoughtful and have fascinating implications. For example, the “Titan Shelters” in Hong Kong - who pays for those? The government? Do rich people have reinforced private Titan Shelters while poor folks have to rely on the public ones, which are likely overcrowded and possibly don’t have enough resources? (I think we all know the answer to that).

I am very much enjoying all the neon in the Hong Kong fight, and how much more visually interesting it makes two giant blobs slamming their blob bodies against each other while causing a staggering amount of property damage.

Finally a realistic “I can crack the password!” scene!

Did I Cry? Ok, a teeny tiny bit, about Kong and Jia’s friendship.

Times I laughed LOUDLY in the theater: when Mr. Zilla, who can literally shoot lightning out of his damn mouth just straight up punches Kong in the face. When Kong gets attacked by all those lizard things in the hollow Earth and just uses one motherfucker to slap another motherfucker. When they use an anti-gravity machine (whatever that actually means) as a defibrillator for an ape that is sometimes as big as a skyscraper and other times as big as a mountain.

And now a series of questions:

Why is this high school class just watching the news in the middle of the day? The G-Z has attacked cities at least 3 other times in this universe that we know of. Like, this isn’t their 9/11, this is a thing that just regularly happens.

You decided it was a good idea to transport Kong over the ocean...where Big Daddy G hangs out all the time? Like...that’s where he lives, you guys. You’re basically trying to sneak Kong over the roof of Godzilla’s house and hoping he doesn’t notice.

OH and you had a Kong-sized net and a team of Kong transport helicopters ready the WHOLE TIME? But you still chose “sneaking over Godzilla’s house” as your first plan of action????

How long can Kong hold his breath? He goes underwater for some long ass periods.

In fact, what are the details of Kong’s physiology in general? How tall is he? Because at one point in his fight with The GZA, he’s standing on the floor of the Tasman Sea, no big deal - except the Tasman Sea has a depth of roughly 18,000 feet. And Kong’s just chilling out in the water at waist level? But he’s also shorter than the skyscrapers in Hong Kong? I choose to believe he can grow and shrink at will because that makes more sense than the sloppy joe approach to his biology the screenwriters are using.

I like Millie Bobby Brown as much as the next guy, but does it bother anyone else that she always sounds congested? Is that a consequence of her doing her American accent? It’s incredibly distracting.

Oh, this entire scene is set in Antarctica but no one is wearing hats or gloves? Sure sure sure.

And no one is having any problems breathing the air in the middle of the fucking earth? No one thought to check that the atmosphere was breathable before everyone takes off their helmets? No noxious fumes to worry about in the center of a planet that produces magma and shit?

You’re taking your child to the literal center of the earth? Is this not the ONE TIME you think you might need a babysitter?

The ship that can *checks notes* withstand the forces present during an entire reversal of gravity is crushed by Kong’s fist like it’s a tube of toothpaste?

Even though the Earth is hollow, I’m assuming the distance to reach the core is still about the same, so Godzilla’s lighting can 1) act as a drill to - I cannot reiterate this strongly enough - the CENTER OF THE FUCKING EARTH and 2) Godzilla and Kong can yell at each other for 3,958 miles (give or take) and still hear each other? Do they have superhearing? Is this something we’re studying or are we content to just have them Hulk smash all of that incredibly important evolutionary biology to bits while everyone stands around?

Because this is a “vs” movie, of course there is no clear-cut “winner” at the end. Instead the two parties leave each other with a grudging respect formed, an uneasy truce in place. But I’m obsessed with the way this final scene plays out, as though Godzilla is a bitter ex walking away from Kong after their doomed relationship has run its course. The lighting, the soft music, the absolute melodrama of this giant lizard slinking slowly back into the sea. Godzilla is giving the gays everything they want in 2k21 and I am here for it. Here’s hoping the next entry in the franchise has Kong hooking up with Rodan to make G jealous and they all have a messy public fight over brunch, Real Housewives style.

If you liked this review, please consider reblogging or subscribing to my Patreon! For as low as $1, you can access bonus content and movie reviews, or even request that I review any movie of your choice.