#i mean its only surface level but still funny to think about

[ruthlesslistener]

Oh my god i got so involved in my own guardian ocs that it never occured to me that i could fuckin. Bug game them. And ofc as soon as i thought of that i realized that Aeris and Marcie have an *extremely* similar dynamic to Hollow and Hornet HSHFHSJ

[mrs-luigi-vargas]

I know I'd decided to only write one more bowuigi fic aside from the one I'd already written but I can't stop thinking about the idea of Bowser repeatedly kidnapping Peach for relationship advice and Peach getting so fed up with him about it that she tricks Luigi into being her body double so that Bowser kidnaps him instead and they can talk like Actual Adults instead of using her as a third party to vent to all the time

[ckret2]

Pictured above: a shape's eye view of the end of the world.

The second dimension has burned; and Bill's been accidentally setting the second dimension's neighbors on fire. At the moment, the Axolotl is trying really, really hard to convince himself that these two facts are unrelated. Here, have a fic.

This is chapter 5 of an ongoing fic about the Axolotl in the wake of the Euclidean Massacre as Bill just keeps on committing atrocities. If you wanna read the earlier chapters (and/or look at more pretty art of Bill committing horrors and the Ax witnessing horrors), here's chapters one, two, three, and four.

####

As soon as the Axolotl and the Time Giant exited Dimension Zero, they were greeted with a faceful of rain. Apparently the storm cloud with the Apocalyptic Threat Task Force had been waiting for them. "The fires in the remaining dimensions around 2Δ are finally acting like normal fires," it said. "No teleporting around, no more targeting the mortals. We've got the worst ones under control. Think we'll save about 40% of Dimension 2 Zeta and 30% of Dimension 2 Epsilon. Whatever you two did in there, it helped."

"Yeah, well." The Time Giant shrugged, nearly dislodging the Axolotl from his perch draped over her shoulder. "It was one of those problems that fixes itself once you figure out what it is."

So the Time Giant had been right. The triangle's attempts to rescue "his" "people" and to stabilize his strange underworld in Dimension Zero had been what was destabilizing all the other dimensions. As much of a relief as it was to hear the situation was improving... part of the Axolotl had hoped that the fires were still as untamed as ever—because that would have meant the triangle wasn't guilty of perpetuating the blaze.

(If the triangle wasn't actively working to keep Dimension Zero stable, how much longer until it collapsed and erased all its imprisoned souls from existence? Would it be long enough to get them all out?)

The cloud asked, "So, did you find out what destroyed 2Δ?" Right. The Axolotl had almost forgotten that was what they'd originally been looking for.

The Time Giant shook her head grimly. "Didn't see any sign of it. But I've got a suspicion who did it."

The Axolotl said sharply, "All we have is circumstantial evidence." And he'd ripped into more than one god who'd tried to damn a mortal based on circumstantial evidence. 

The cloud's sunbeam darted between their faces. Slowly, it said, "I take it you mean our triangular friend. I don't have any proof yet about the original fire; but he's been spreading the fire, I know that much."

"How did you know?" the Axolotl asked. He and the Time Giant had only just learned it themselves inside Dimension Zero.

"We've been interviewing some refugees while you were out. I—think you'll want to speak to them." The cloud directed this statement to the Axolotl.

The Time Giant said, "Later. The triangle says he's willing to move his people to another dimension." She gestured toward VENDOR, flanked by the two cops THEY'd apparently adopted as THEIR personal escorts. THEY were ranting into a phone that the crab-looking cop was holding up for them. "So we've gotta go discuss refugee stuff with Vendy McVendface."

"VENDOR," the cloud corrected.

"Vend 'er? I hardly even know 'er!"

The gods turned to stare at the border of Dimension Zero as the triangle laughed at his own joke until he wheezed. "I had to. It was sitting right there! It woulda been a crime not to pick it up!" His cackles slowly petered out. "What, no laughs? Maybe the joke doesn't translate."

The Time Giant shrugged. "I kinda thought it was funny."

"Ah, whatever."

"Have you been listening the whole time?" the Axolotl asked, not sure whether to be amused or mortified.

"Don't worry about it, I've got something more important to say." He zipped up along the surface of Dimension Zero's border until he was eye level with the Time Giant. "Hey, Hourglass. I didn't say I'm ready to move my people. I said I'm ready to talk about moving. Your guy better sell me on it. If your offer isn't worth it, we're not leaving."

"Are you serious?" She screwed up her face. "Ain't not being erased from existence worth it?"

"I have very high standards. And there are fates worse than death."

"Name one."

The triangle only thought about it a second before he answered, "Captivity."

####

It wasn't until the Axolotl and the Time Giant left the border of Dimension Zero that the Axolotl realized, the moment the triangle had shown up, the storm cloud had disappeared. It was now drizzling surreptitiously near VENDOR, waiting for them to catch up.

As they approached VENDOR, the Time Giant said, "You should give VENDOR the news."

The Axolotl gave her an affronted look. "Why me?" This wasn't his responsibility. He hadn't been hired to do a job here. He shouldn't even be here; he was essentially an over-involved lookie-loo.

"You'd be better at talking to 'em. You move in the same circles."

"I'm not a politician, I'm a lawyer."

"I'm an engineer." She took the Axolotl off her shoulder and nudged his butt to set him gently floating in VENDOR's direction.

The Axolotl twisted around to give her a resentful look, but swam toward the vending machine.

THEY ignored the Axolotl until THEY finished THEIR current call, at which point THEY snapped, "What?" and he explained the situation. Blessedly, THEY didn't ask any further questions or give him any instructions; THEY just grumbled, "Finally," and told the crab cop, "Call the Vitruvian Mandala—we'll need to find places for another ten million 2D refugees."

"And 1D," the Axolotl said.

"Yes, yes." THEY muttered under THEIR fan, "And hopefully we'll get that triangle to the afterlife he deserves and be done with him."

The Axolotl doubted THEY meant a serene eternal paradise. Pointedly, he said, "Which afterlife he goes to is his choice."

Afterlife law was his speciality. Not cases like "based on this mortal's good and bad deeds, which form has she earned for her next reincarnation?" or "has this soul earned entry into his religion's realm of the wicked, the good, or the heroic?" Those were decided on the local level.

Rather, he tended to handle inter-pantheon, sometimes even interdimensional, cases—like, "if a mortal born on one planet lives and dies on another planet, which world's afterlife has claim to his soul?" "Is a soul's right to return to her native afterlife forfeit if she's apprehended in another god's jurisdiction for crimes against reality?" "Can a death god in a dimension where wandering ghosts are banned incarcerate a ghost from a dimension where wandering is legal?" "How does a soul's right to claim an afterlife weigh against an afterlife's right to claim a soul?" "Who has the right to judge a deceased mortal in the first place?"

The Axolotl personally thought that mortals deserved to be treated as mercifully as possible—starting with respecting the dead's own choice of afterlife above all others, and ending with outlawing damnation at the interdimensional level.

The rest of the multiverse... didn't agree with him yet. He didn't intend to stop until they did.

He went on, "Case law has long established that unless the dead made other arrangements premortem, they will be taken to—in order—the afterlife of their birth, their death, or their choice. The afterlife under whose jurisdiction the triangle lived and died has been destroyed, so he can go to any afterlife that says they're willing to take him, whether or not you think it's what he deserves—"

VENDOR's camera rolled and THEY impatiently beeped acknowledgment. "Do you mind, I'm on the phone." THEY turned THEIR back on the Axolotl to focus on THEIR next call. Yeah, most gods didn't like being told they couldn't just smite and damn whoever they felt like.

The storm cloud called the Axolotl's attention with a fork of lightning. It said, "I'll need to help coordinate the rescue efforts with VENDOR. I can get the report on what you learned in there from the engineering inspector; but you need to go talk to some of the witnesses of the fire. Maybe you should ask the Vitruvian Mandala when He's free."

That was the second time it had told him to talk to the refugees. "Why?"

"You said that yellow triangle's your friend, right?"

"I... did, yes."

The cloud didn't explain any further. It only said, "Be careful around him."

####

VENDOR bustled around making preparations to receive ten million new refugees with absolutely no input from anyone else on the scene; the cloud's time was split between coordinating with the ATTF and getting a full debrief from the Time Giant on the conditions inside Dimension Zero; and left alone, the Axolotl found himself staring into the roiling barrier around the bloated singularity.

He swore, no matter where he looked, in the center of his view he could see a tiny, yellow, triangular pinprick of light, like an afterimage burned into his retina. No matter how deeply he looked into Dimension Zero, somehow his eyes always seemed focused on the triangle, making it appear nearer and then farther, like an optical illusion.

Be careful around him. He wished his Oracle were here to ask him questions. Helping her mortal mind make sense of this whole affair might help him make sense of it himself.

He'd seen the horror in the triangle's eye when he realized that he was the one incinerating the dimensions that had once bordered his own. He'd heard the sincerity in the triangle's voice when he said he could feel the deaths of every life that fell into his dream realm—the deaths that he himself was causing. He'd felt the guilt pouring from the triangle when he realized his efforts to save "his people" from being killed were what was killing them. Whatever else the Axolotl knew, he was sure the triangle hadn't meant to cause anyone harm. He hadn't started the fires on purpose. He just... didn't know what he was doing.

And "his people"—what did that mean?

Maybe some of the people in the triangle's dance party were from his dimension. The Axolotl couldn't totally confirm that they weren't; if the triangle had somehow survived, then why not others?

But it was undeniable that the triangle had been "rescuing"/kidnapping people from other dimensions, and he talked about the people he'd rescued no differently from the people from his own dimension.

Why? Had members of his species spread to neighboring dimensions? Or had his species come from another? Had his people established diplomatic relationships with cultures in neighboring universes, enough for them to consider themselves one people?

"Certainly not," said the Vitruvian Mandala.

He was a god from one of the worlds in Dimension 2 Gamma that the ATTF had managed to evacuate before the dimension was fully incinerated. Now, He was just another refugee, huddled with His confused, terrified people on one of the temporary worlds provided by VENDOR, curved uncomfortably atop the spherical planet. He had to be reeling from the loss of His home just as much as His people were—if not more, since He had known and seen and done and loved much more that any single mortal could. But nevertheless, He'd immediately stepped up to assist with organizing the rescue services, acting as a liaison between VENDOR and the 2D mortals to find new homes for them. 

And some of His people had been among the ones dragged into Dimension Zero—which was no doubt why the cloud had suggested the Axolotl speak to Him.

The Vitruvian Mandala may have been a minor creation god (He'd only created a galaxy) but He was more than powerful enough to know whether any of His people had ever made interdimensional contact. The Axolotl had waited until He had a moment to spare from assisting VENDOR, and then asked Him about their relationship with Dimension 2 Delta.

"I seeded life on all the populated worlds in My galaxy. None of My worlds have ever so much as been colonized by another galaxy in Our own dimension, much less people from another dimension," He said. "And We're a young galaxy—the most advanced starfarers have hardly ventured beyond their own solar systems; none have left Our dimension."

"And they've never spoken to other dimensions...?"

"No. The first contact We ever had with 'Dimension 2 Delta'—or what was left of it—was when the Magister Mentium began dragging My people into his underworld. The leaders I've had a chance to speak to from Dimension 2 Epsilon and Dimension 2 Zeta have told Me the same. " He called the triangle 'Magister Mentium' without any of the halting awkwardness the Axolotl did, or even the self-consciousness the triangle himself did. The Vitruvian Mandala had never known the triangle as anything but the Magister Mentium—and in His voice, it sounded not like an oversized title for a tiny triangle, but like the name of a fellow god.

But—the Axolotl had only asked the Vitruvian Mandala about Dimension 2 Delta. He hadn't brought up the Magister Mentium, nor mentioned that he was asking about the kidnapped people. "How did you know about the Magister Mentium?"

The Vitruvian Mandala said simply, "Because he introduced himself to My people before he started stealing them."

At the Axolotl's shocked silence, He said, "Do you want to see what they saw?"

####

When the agents with the ATTF had started interviewing survivors about the cosmic fire, naturally, they'd first approached the other gods for information. And then the gods had approached the mortals under their charge to get their testimonies and pass them on to the apoc agents.

The Vitruvian Mandala had telepathically extracted His people's memories and copied them into tiny glassy discs with brass rims. He sifted through dozens of discs before offering the memory of a narrow rhombus from one of His most technologically advance worlds; and the Axolotl stared through the disk to experience the mortal's memory.

The memory started with a sight that had become all too familiar to the Axolotl: a distant line of burning blue fire. It took a moment for the Axolotl to orient himself to the mortal's razor-thin two-dimensional view of her world; but once he did, he realized that, from her perspective, it wasn't a line of light. To her, it was the entire sky. The constellations of faraway flat stars had vanished, and their place was taken by an inferno.

The whole world reeked of a stench that the rhombus didn't recognize, but that the Axolotl did: burning hydrogen. In most dimensions, three-fourths of all the matter in the entire universe—including the very stars themselves—consisted of hydrogen molecules. Hydrogen burned a pale blue. The stench in the air, the pale blue light filling the sky, was the smell and sight of the raw materials of reality itself burning away.

The nearby buildings had emptied into the city streets as people abandoned their work to coming outside and stare at the burning sky. Somewhere—it seemed very far away—people were screaming, sirens were wailing, government proclamations were issuing out of radios and loudspeakers; but on these streets, on the border of the city where the sky was most visible, everyone was horribly silent. 

An eerie feeling of unreality hung over the world. It felt like a scene out of a dream. The rhombus's heart filled with dread. She didn't understand why or how the sky was burning, but she felt in her bones that it must mean the end of the world.

She never imagined that it was the end of the entire universe.

And then, more real than reality itself, bright enough to blind, a radioactive-yellow shape appeared in the middle of the crowd. Over the gasps of shock, a voice that echoed between the buildings proclaimed, "Gooood evening! Lines, bis, and tris; quads, quints, and more—my beloved believers and my new friends—I'm sure you all recognize my voice from the news, but it's a pleasure to finally meet you all in the flesh!"

She wasn't sure he had any flesh to meet. He was ghostlike, as insubstantial as smoke—and just as formless as smoke, too: his shape constantly shimmered and shifted and distorted, his skin appearing and disappearing as his internal organs were exposed; one moment a leg visible, the next a hand, then no limbs at all, just his blindingly bright body. His organs were all wrong. When she could stand to squint at the specter's light, in the split seconds that his ghostly form was properly visible, she thought he looked like a triangle.

(She'd never seen the third dimension, never even attempted to imagine what a 3D shape might look like. She didn't realize his appearance shifted because he was a 2D shape tilting in 3D directions trying to lay flat on the 2D plane of Dimension 2 Gamma, and not quite succeeding. )

"Allow me to introduce myself properly: I'm the Magister Mentium, seer of the third dimension! Your gateway to the stars and stardom, your guide to prophets and profits, your mastermind and master of minds; and, if you're lucky, your new eternal party host! I'm sure the honor's all yours—but please, resist the urge to swoon! I have a limited time offer that you cannot afford to miss."

For all his self-aggrandizing, the triangle was still completely unfamiliar. She didn't see recognition in the eyes of any of the shapes around them, either. She doubted he'd ever actually been on the news at all, unless it was in one of those dubious programs about ghost hunting or UFOs. 

But the triangle charged on regardless: "I'm here to bring you salvation from— Whoops! We've got a crying baby over here. Sorry junior, I'm on stage right now." She hadn't even noticed the crying until the triangle pointed it out; the whole world seemed dull and muffled and gray except for the triangle. One of his arms stretched in the child's direction and disappeared; there was a split-second flash of black fingers where the baby used to be; and then both hand and baby vanished, the baby's cries morphing into a shriek of terror that slowly faded into the unseeable distance.

"My baby!" a rectangle wailed. She rushed up to the alien triangle. "What did you do to my baby, you—" She tried to seize his arm, and let out a howl of pain as her hands burst into flame.

"Calm down, Mama, your little brat's okay!" He reached out and flicked the rectangle back. His finger hit her with the force of a catapult. She tumbled away from him through dimensions unknown, skins and bone and organs turning inside-out over each other; and slammed into a nearby building, fusing with the wall. All that was visible of her was a thin cross section of meat. The rhombus couldn't imagine where the rest of her had gone—but she could smell the burning flesh.

"Too bad I can't say the same of you." The triangle turned to stare them all down, gaze darting restlessly from face to face. His pupil was bizarrely long, animal-like; and his gaze burned. She was sure that, if his gaze had lingered on her a moment longer, she would have caught fire, too. "We're burning time, people! Would anyone else like to be excused? Last call!"

There were a few whispers, but no one moved. The crowd was petrified with fear.

"Terrrrific! Then you'd better listen close, because I only have time to say this once," the triangle said. "Here's the deal! There's only two kinds of people: the ones who hate captivity, and the ones who love it. Oh yeah, there are people who love it! Some of 'em like inflicting it, some of 'em are too stupid to think for themselves, and some of 'em just want to do terrible things and pretend they had no choice!

"But I'm here to help the rest of you—you know who you are! You're the ones who never quite tessellated with the other kids! The ones who are sick and tired of your family saying you had so much potential and asking where it's all gone! You can feel the barbs of social obligation hooking into your flesh—yeah, you there, you know what I'm talking about, I see you!—and you'd rip your own skin off if you thought it would set you free! It won't, by the way—take it from a guy who knows! Luckily for you, my way's more effective and less painful! Probably!"

In spite of their fear, more than a few shapes had started pushing closer to the triangle. He was speaking to them.

"So if you crave freedom—from work, laws, morality, physics... death..."

More than a few shapes glanced fearfully toward the sky.

"...if you want to see the stars with me—then raise your hand! Reach out to me! Watch your enemies burn and escape to a realm of dreams with no rules and no responsibilities! That's right, this way!"

As soon as he said raise your hand, it seemed like half the crowd stretched their hands out to him —and the longer he spoke, the more reached out.

She recognized some of the people reaching out—some of them were her neighbors and friends. Here was a beaten-down pentagon who'd spent his whole life being controlled, and just wanted freedom from the ruthless monsters who used and abused him. There was a controlling circle who'd spent her whole life using and abusing others, and wanted freedom to be an even more ruthless monster. They all reached toward the triangle just the same—as if they'd been waiting their whole lives for an opportunity to escape. The desperate, the downtrodden, the dastardly, the barely daring to hope. If the whole burning world felt like a bizarre dream, then this must have felt like a dream come true to them.

But to the rhombus, it felt like a nightmare. She had to fight through the crowd to back away from him. 

"No need to push! If you can't see me, just hold your hand toward my voice, I can see you!"

The smell of burning existence was growing stronger.

Was this a test? An approaching apocalypse and a shapeshifting god of light and fire offering a last-minute rapture. The sky was burning—what hope did they have if they didn't go with him? More of the crowd was reaching for him now—terrified of him, but more terrified of their fate if they didn't. The rhombus reluctantly stretched out a hand.

"Thaaat's right, this way! I've got all of you!" His voice was taking on an edge of impatience. "Just—come on already! Hurry up!"

She was at just the right angle to catch a split second glimpse of the triangle through the crowd. She saw as the person closest to him reached out and grasped his hand. She saw as the first of the triangle's new followers burst into flames. The unlucky soul crumbled to ash before they had a chance to scream.

"I said no pushing."

The rhombus jerked her hand back and hoped the triangle hadn't seen her through the crowd. He wasn't offering salvation.

Most of the crowd wasn't lucky enough to get a view of the unfortunate shapes at the front who were already learning what a deal with the triangle entailed. The rhombus could hear people, as though from a vast distance, calling out to the triangle: "Take me, take me!" "I'll do anything!" It seemed like the whole world was trying to get closer to him; she thought she was the only one trying to move away, until she made it as far back as she could, where the crowd was thinning out, and caught a few other shapes in her peripheral vision who'd moved the same way. More than half the crowd was rushing in toward the triangle.

But apparently, it wasn't enough to satisfy him. "Come on, people!" That enthusiastic voice, halfway between a salesman and a camp counselor, was gone now. His voice went shrill with anxiety. "What's it gonna take?! I'm offering you idiots paradise, why won't you listen? Why don't you ever LISTEN TO ME?!"

For a moment, even though the triangle was completely hidden by the crowd, the rhombus could feel his fiery gaze sweep over her. She felt the way her skin threatened to burst into flames, and she knew he saw her.

She backed away until her rear angle bumped into the nearest building.

"Fine! You've had your chance! I've found my people!" The triangle's voice dropped to an angry snarl. "For all I care, the rest of you can burn."

For every hand that stretched out to the triangle, a black hand reached back toward them—dozens and dozens of hands. "Let's blow up this popsicle stand!"

He seized his new believers' hands.

Most of them instantly burst into flames.

Most of the rest were either jerked away into some unseeable direction like the baby had been, or else the burning ghost hand they were shaking yanked something out of them, leaving behind a dry corpse.

Reality warped and distorted in ways her eye couldn't make sense of: buildings wobbling and spilling apart like they were made of liquid; people twisting together with the buildings in sickening multi-corpsed abominations.

"Whoopsie!" The triangle let out a shrill, tittering laugh. It sounded pained. "S-still gotta get the hang of that. Oh well!" He spoke louder and faster. "I saved as many of you as I could, doing the best I can here, the rest of you don't matter, anyway byyye!"

And then he was gone.

And then they were all awake. She hadn't known they were asleep. Whatever happened hadn't been a mere shared nightmare; it was as though the layer of existence that dreams happened on had been pressed into the layer of existence where reality happened, and she hadn't even noticed until the pressure applied by the triangle lifted and the layers popped apart again.

The layers had popped apart too hard. Several of the shapes nearest the triangle that he hadn't taken with him instantly died—the tether between their souls on the plane of dreams and their bodies on the plane of reality snapped like overstretched rubber bands.

The fused corpse abominations had been left behind, still tangled and mangled with the architecture. The buildings were charred. The survivors were covered in burns they hadn't noticed—everywhere the triangle had looked was burned. Anything the triangle looked through was burned.

She was covered in burns. She could feel the burning inside her body. She raised her hands to her face and felt it peeling off.

She couldn't even feel the bright blue fires roaring down from the heavens.

And then something else lifted her out of the world, just before the reality around them began to burn.

She didn't know where all the people the triangle had taken had gone. But as she blacked out, of one thing she was sure: this higher dimension he'd claimed to see, this realm of stars and dreams? They weren't there.

Wherever they were, they'd gone down.

####

When the Axolotl emerged from the recorded memory, he was dizzy with horror. He had to lay down on the prefab planet next to the Vitruvian Mandala while he reeled.

"Are you all right?" the Vitruvian Mandala asked.

Broken, the Axolotl said, "he threw a baby."

"I know."

"Is the baby alright?"

Delicately, He said, "It's beyond the dimensions I'm able to sense."

The Axolotl curled his gills. Not the baby. "What about the rhombus?"

"Her body was too burned; she died shortly after this memory," the Vitruvian Mandala said. "But fortunately, only a small part of her ghost suffered third degree burns. With an ectoplasm graft she's expected to recovery enough to have a fairly normal afterlife. Inasmuch as any afterlife can be considered 'normal' for My people now."

The Axolotl had noted how many ghosts were mingling with the living mortals when he arrived on this planet. He hadn't wanted to say anything; he didn't know whether that was normal for their people. "I can give you the contact rituals of some interdimensional psychopomps I respect. Very professional and compassionate gods." Although they'd be cursing the Axolotl's name for millennia for throwing so much work on their desks.

"I'd appreciate that. Thank you."

The Axolotl returned the memory disc to the Vitruvian Mandala; He momentarily stared into it Himself before returning it to His collection. "He gave speeches like this all across My populated worlds. I've retrieved thousands of memories like this from My people." His voice shook; the Axolotl couldn't tell if it was with anger or grief. "There would have been more—if more had survived."

"I'm so sorry." He didn't know what else he could do for the poor god but be sorry. All the senseless, slapdash slaughter. All of it so casual and accidental.

"Why?" the Vitruvian Mandala demanded. "He didn't speak like he meant My people harm, but he couldn't have done them more harm if he'd tried! I've never heard of him before—what is he, some malevolent trickster god? Why did he do it"

"Because... he thought he was saving them." That was the only thing the Axolotl could cling to.

####

(Thanks for reading!! If the art lured you in and this is the first chapter you read, this is part 5 of a 7-or-8-or-9 part fic that keeps getting more parts, about the Axolotl in the immediate aftermath of the Euclidean Massacre. I'll be posting one chapter a week, Fridays 5pm CST, so stick around if you wanna watch the Axolotl run out of ways to pretend Bill didn't destroy his own dimension.

It's ALSO chapter 61 Part Five of an ongoing post-canon post-TBOB very-reluctantly-human Bill fic. So if you wanna read more of me writing Bill, check it out. If you're not sold on the idea of a human Bill fic, I've also got a one-shot about normal triangle Bill escaping the Theraprism if you wanna read that.

If this is NOT your first time here and you already knew all of the above: Bill got SO CLOSE to looking like a misguided good guy last chapter, and that's why he had to throw a baby.

No actually it was because it seemed really really funny. Flipped that flat little thing like a pancake.

Due to real-world reasons, this is another chapter that isn't as edited & polished as usual, so let me know if you noticed any rough spots that need buffing. And let me know what you think! Bill with his cult leader persona cranked up to 100% is probably the hardest Bill to write.)

[urielsdaybreak]

Do you have any headcanons for the Bellringer?

Lots! I have a list of old headcanons for him, but I’ll write out a new one since it’s worth updating them.

Physical Structure

1. The yoke of the Bellringer is made out of wood - an unnatural and a magical kind produced from his hometown that he keeps secret. The wood itself is malleable and flexible, and it branches around his entire body - being his central nervous system more or less - and being covered by his brass platings. The wood is sensitive, so he often protects his yoke when in combat.

2. He can detach his head and still control his body which leads/has led to funny scenarios. He will punch you though if you try to attempt removing his head - he doesn’t like it. He can also control the movement of his bell (so a person can’t just spin it around out of the blue) using his yoke.

3. Healing Bell is the ability to focus one’s magical capacity (remember that the wood itself is magical, so that’s where that comes from) into one’s chassis and funnel that all through a bell and then release that magic with a chime me to heal cogs. He has to know the structures of the cogs he’s healing (even if just vague) or have the emotional will (moral or immoral) to heal someone - for example, if a close friend of his got hurt, even without knowing their structure, the stress and sorrow would be enough to substitute it. Healing Bell is not the only ability he can do, and there are many more such as Overcharging. (Yes, this means there are rules to the magic, as well.)

4. His combat style in boxing is being more agile rather than relying on the damage of his punch. He exhausts his opponents by constantly healing himself using his healing bell, before eventually knocking out his opponent and winning the round. This has led him to develop a higher pain tolerance which is why he can sustain explosions on the daily. Alongside his fitness, his 12 years in the resort carrying tons of luggage on the daily has most likely heightened his endurance.

5. HE DOES NOT EAT USING HIS CLACKER (though that is a very funny interpretation). He eats and drinks via the grey area of his neck where his yoke is attached to. There’s an aperture that opens up there, allowing him to throw and ingest said food or drink. He can only eat little by little or else he could clog up his digestive tract since it is quite narrow.

Personality - "Eyes and ears open at all times; I've probably heard it all."

1. I don’t think he is physically/literally tone-deaf (as referred by Jennifer’s interview notes of him). That’s meant more metaphorically that he is deaf in reading the room and continues blabbering on about his gossips or talking shit about other managers. This also leads me to think that he would have a nice friendship/rivalry with Graham as they don’t have regards to anyone other than themselves and Suits they care about, and they both also crave/love attention. They sing together in Dave’s shows sometimes, and other times they make a competition out of how many followers they can get on their social media account.

2. He is friendly, extremely charismatic, and a great conversationalist… on the surface. He certainly has a “mask” that he puts on all the time to maintain his image in order to trick Suits for his selfish motives or maintain surface-level relationships - personal or business. Underneath, he is a sly and manipulative suit that people-pleases and sweet talks his way into things he needs and wants. When he's in trouble, he does his best to comply if its for the betterment of his self-interests but that's not to say he can't be silly and not give a fuck at all (wrt to official comic with Plutocrat). Lying is a constant in his entire life which is why he makes such a great Sellbot. This also means he has severe trust issues. His nosiness ties into that aspect, but for the most part, he just loves hearing other people’s businesses because it gives him a sense of control over them.

3. Underneath the “mask”, he’s scarily perceptive that he knows things about other people that they might not. It’s possible he has stalked Suits before talking to them in order to find their sweet side, and/or his experiences in espionage has led him to deduce things easily and subsequently take advantage of people’s attributes. His chattiness can be an intended tactic to make conversations go side-tracked and steer it to how he wants it, and his conversation with the secretaries is to gather information on other employees. Despite this, he still upholds his strong value of being authentic to himself despite the ironic immoral actions he is committing. Why? Sure, he finds the life of lying second nature to him, but there is also a naivety within him that yearns for true connections and truthfulness to himself, and he is desperately trying to keep that part from drowning amidst the cruelty of Suitopia’s society.

4. Since Bellringer uses he/they pronouns, I always saw him expanding his gender and sexuality beyond his masculinity. He’d definitely love to go to drag shows, wear dresses, and get his nails done. Whether he’s potentially a trans-woman/trans-man/non-binary is an interesting aspect and that will depend on the reader’s interpretation. I personally think he is comfortable representing both as a man and a woman, which is the absolute gender I strive for. <3 I also believe he speaks out against toxic masculinity and, if given the opportunity, also supports feminism because it’s in his personality to be as authentic & comfortable as he wants to be, and anybody that opposes that will get a rightful talking to.

Backstory

Let’s start with what we know.

1. He was a bellboy for 12 years in Golden Rose Resort and we know that he did some of his own “business” while working there since Jennifer notes he has a lot of knowledge about Suits and C.O.G.S. Inc’s rival companies. It would not be too surprising if the reason why he chose to apply for C.O.G.S. Inc. is because he deduced that this would be the dominating company in the following years compared to rival companies. It’s no doubt he utilises his chattiness to make shady deals with high-end clients during his time as a bellboy, gain information about powerful people and the companies they work for, and blackmails some Suits for his own means or someone else’s.

On a lighter note, I think he picked up the ventriloquist hobby (wrt to ventriloquist Bellringer comic) during this time likely to entertain guests in the hotel either as part of the job or a means of getting extra money or tips for his service, or — having been doing espionage at this time — he could have learned it for a specific mission and simply happened to like it then picked it up even after being employed at C.O.G.S. Inc. Funny how he uses puppets that would be a clear metaphor to his control over other Suits, right? Nah, I’m simply looking too deep into this and he just does it to troll people, haha.

What about before that?

2. Espionage demands a lot of exercise, and that didn’t just come from nowhere. In his earlier years, I would imagine he had joined some underground boxing ring for money. Why didn’t he just do minimum wage jobs to survive? Firstly, he’s not going to spend his next 12 years in a fucking McCognalds. Secondly, he has his own personal issues in his past that he eventually found boxing as a healthy outlet for his emotions. Thirdly, he finds the thrill of a challenge exciting, especially one that brings him at death’s door. If you can heal your wounds with a ring, you’re bound to develop a twisted false mentality that you can survive anything, and soon enough that could become an addiction that is drunk in pride. Winning the boxing matches gives him the attention he wants, and it gives him the addicting thrill he desires. After being hired at the resort, he needed to feed that addiction of thrill, and so he would lead a life of espionage and continue his immoral ways.

It would also explain why he shirks doing his actual duties in C.O.G.S. Inc. and instead gets distracted because he doesn't really want to do the boring parts. He just wants the fun of being in other people’s business and the thrill of combat in the streets (he incredibly despises Toons. All the more reason to explode them!) Because of that, I don't blame him if he looks tired all the time if what his position demands is torture to him, lol.

3. With the amount of charisma he has, he most definitely had sexual and romantic relationships. Most of them were just fleeting, and some of the rarer healthier ones would almost convince him to quit his adventurous addiction, however those types of relationships - where he exposes his vulnerabilities - hurt the most, especially when they end because of his own faults. Benjamin has grown an infatuation for Brian in his current position, but he has no intention to confess due to his lingering fear of trust issues, putting someone he cares about in danger because of the consequences of his immoral actions, and the self-deprecating belief that he cannot fix himself to love someone else, not after all the lies, deceit, and misdeeds he has done.

4. Of course, there’s still the question of what the origins of his hometown are, especially with that deal with the magical properties of his chassis, his aforementioned personal issues in his past, and most importantly… what about his family? He surely has a family somewhere in United Cogdom, right? I’m telling you that, yes, he does have a family and, yes, his mysterious origins are something I know and I am sure you’re keen to know about. After all, a Suit like him is extraordinarily bizarre - from his personality down to the nature of his powers. He’s bound to pick those habits from somewhere, right? Unfortunately, well…

It’s rather rude to talk about someone who’s listening…

[sueheesblog]

I'm rewatching The Bear...... And Lord Syd really walked into fire the same day she started working at The Beef. T being a pain, the loud music, and Richie being loud like Mickey. I got some boring opinions. Let me rant n be delulu 😂🤣🤣😍

Richie saying that The Beef didn't have money problems until after Carmy showed up😬😬😱😱😱..... Knowing what I know about season 3, I see a pattern of Carmy trying to change things too fast, too soon. The Beef been running for 25 years, which means something was going right for it to last that long (we know some d.rugs money was involved lol). Richie confessed about selling from the back a few times lol.

Anyways, I say all of that to say, I think Syd was the only one who walked into Carmy's life with a plan. Carmy saw that n respected her for it. Everyone else was going with a flow that was no longer sustainable (this includes Claire). Yes, she and Carmy had a past, (well to be honest they don't even have a past. They never dated or hangout in HS) it's more like a fantasy. People grow n change..... n love interest can also change. I don't think Carmy like Claire the way he did bk then. It's life!

Carmy was happy he found someone who shared his passion, yes he wanted a business with Mikey..... but I honestly think Carmy wanted it for himself too. He's only wanted 2 things The Bear with his brother and Syd (yes, Syd). He was willing to make a complete stranger help him run his family business after 1 - 2 weeks of observing her. He made that decision with no outside influence (his family). HE WANTED SYDNEY and that want slowly turned into NEEDING HER. I'm not talking on a romantic level of want/need, but business wise she will always be his first option.

The romantic level, based on my opinion started flickering when the mere thought of her calmed him. Now, he's probably too naive to notice that he has developed romantic feelings for her and its pushing to the surface. The mere thought of her brought him peace and steady the tsunami in his mind. That is a leave of intimacy that is top tier. She touched him mentally. Carmy n Syd's conversation in the beginning of Season 2 are soo charged that they don't have to touch to sell the audience a romantic story. This is because their way of intimacy is through food, thats how they express themselves to each other. It's like talking about the menus n stuff is foreplay. It was also funny to see Carmy gave Syd the best orgasm of her life and then take it back. (This was when he said her braised short ribs was tremendous, and then decided to take it back). She like, no sir, we ain't doing that cause I'm still on cloud nine trying to come down. 😂🤣😂🤣

Carmy suspected this and he didn't want to entertained Claire (gave her the wrong number). Now, she's all tangled up in Carmy n Syd's weird mind fuck with food..... Syd feeling jealous is kinda vaild (hear me out). It's valid because all the time they spent together being mentally intimate through food...... those feelings were reciprocated. So, CARMY out here cheating on Syd.... giving all the focus she deserved and EARNED to Claire. Like, Syd should packed his shit up and put him out!

BUT, at the end of season 3 they stopped connecting through their food. It's like when married couple is so far apart that sex/intimacy longer plays a role in the relationship or it took the back burner. Days or weeks would pass and they wouldn't touch each other...... This is what Carmy n Syd are facing. Their relationship is so disconnected that intimacy is no longer on the table.

Let's see if they get a divorce or make up.

[elegantsparklyllama]

Why we love Asha x Starboy

I just watched Wish, and it is because of the lack of meaningful character interaction in the movie. Aside from Asha and Magnifico, there are only so many characters to bounce off with Asha. There are 7 friends, but they're surface-level at best, with one line per character. The same goes for Sabino (Asha's grandfather), Asha's mom, and even the goat! Star in the final movie is a one-note "follow your dreams" character. There is no added dimension to these interactions, making the film feel hollow.

Giving the Star a humanoid appearance and a potential romance with Asha suddenly makes Wish more interesting. By making Star a human, writers are less likely to treat them like a random animal sidekick and more like a human character.

Meaningful character interactions give viewers something to cling to and relate to emotionally. The Disney Renaissance emphasizes romantic subplots and family conflicts for this reason. You can also find this when the main hero interacts with an animal sidekick. They provide the heart of a movie.

As a writer, I'm attracted to romance subplots because, like any relationship, they provide exciting character interactions and emotional investment. I'm beating a dead horse, but just because a princess has a romance arc doesn't mean she isn't empowered. Belle and Mulan are Disney princesses with love interests, yet they are still fully fleshed-out characters. Romance can also thematically enhance a story. Beauty and the Beast would not be the same without a romance between Belle and the Beast.

In the context of Wish, I think Asha already has an animal sidekick with the goat. She only needs one (they already have too many characters with the 7 teens). It is not that animal sidekicks couldn't be compelling characters. Mushu from Mulan is an example of creating entertaining animal sidekicks. He even has a character arc that complements Mulan, the main heroine. However, with Disney standards right now, you can't help but feel they might butcher the animal sidekicks.

Even the OG movie Snow White checks the mark for meaningful character interactions. It is not between the nameless prince and Snow White, but it is with the seven dwarves. Ironically this is where Asha's 7 friends are based off. The most important relationship of Snow White is literally in the title of her movie: Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. Unlike Wish, the reason why they can get away with 7 dwarfs is because the film is centered around the relationship between them and Snow White to avoid bloat.

It doesn't help that Asha and Magnifico themselves feel like bland cutouts. If you compare them to Disney's rosters of heroes and villains, they'd pale in comparison. They have the most interesting interactions but it feels like the bare minimum.

Whenever I look back on a movie, I remember a thought-provoking thematic beat or even a funny character interaction. Wish doesn't leave room for much. The movie feels like an amateur school play they show to grade-schoolers which is a low for Disney.

You know what's sadder?

I wish I could've had that meaningful character interaction with Asha and her grandfather, Sabino. They had something with Asha wanting to grant Sabino's wish but Sabino refused to let it be granted. In the movie, the conflict lasts for about a scene, and then it shifts to granting the wishes of everyone in Rosas.

You can see why the writers toyed with the idea of the Star Boy being a younger version of Sabino. The relationship between Sabino and Asha is the heart of the story.

This imaginary ship buried in concept art gave what the movie lacked: a heart. It is not enough to spew out inspirational messages and call people stars. One should also incorporate humanity.

I have a lot more thoughts on the story, specifically in its thematic beats but that is for another time.

[plumadot]

You got my brain going as are your anons. Ren and Doc get married for crime purposes, they didn't do it for love. They didn't expect to fall in love, but here they are. Falling for each other and falling rather hard and fast. But this wasn't the plan so for now they will keep it to themselves Doc falls for Ren because he's such a ray of sunshine, he's charming and very charismatic as well. And boy can he sing, the first time Doc hears Ren sing while Ren is doing a chore or cooking. Doc gets butterflies in his stomach. Even if he tries to deny it Ren is so caring, he works long hours and isn't getting enough sleep? Ren makes sure he goes to bed and gets enough sleep. He's not allowed to get stuck in a work loop and not come out and talk with their friends for to long either. And Doc might seem like a grump, but he feels so so cared for Ren falls for Doc when he gets to see a side most people don't. Doc is funny, smart and ambitious. But he also grounds Ren who can get wrapped up in dramatics of things. Doc is surpringly cuddly but only in private with Ren. Doc listens to him ramble about anything and everything. Ren knows his little hums and acknowledgement sounds means he's listening intently. Doc doesn't have to talk for Ren to get him. Watching Doc work is amazing to Ren, he's so so smart and makes such amazing things. They work so well together, and Ren can't deny the warmth he feels when Doc looks at him and smiles. There is something about this goat creeper hybrid that just makes his heart soar As much as Ren would love to tell everyone that he's in love with this man. He knows that Doc is a private man, and he's happy to just keep that between each other. Its much more special that way after all

gahhhhhhhhhhhh this entire ask reads as a beautiful love letter gfjdkjgkf <3 <3 <3

i think their entire dynamic is really casual but not at all like. surface-level because of it. things are just natural and easy!!!!!! they fit together and understand each other extremely well!!!!!!!! and it's fun!!!! they may still be a little shy but everything is fun together ;-; <3 <3 <3

idk what else to add to this aaaaaaaa what a lovely read thank you so much for the message!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[goamu-blog]

Want to say I wanted to like SJ and YQY as a ship, I tried to like them as a ship, I read fics and saw arts but it just didn't work for me because I can't get their canon selves out of my mind, which is a first for me when it comes to shipping. These are my thoughts on them and from talks I had in a fic comment section with the author.

Firstly, their innate personalities would not match well together in a romantic sense. YQY is much too passive in regards to SJ. Its because of their brotherly bonds that YQY is so passive towards SJ and would not make a good match for SJ.

It feels like YQY wouldn't be able to handle SJ. Especially SJ more conniving sides. YQY would tolerate but still disapprove of some of SJ's personality sides. The books show that SJ tried to reach out to YQY, but because of broken promises and their brotherly bonds, YQY always took on a passive stance and is not suited to be with SJ in a romantic sense.

There is no reciprocation in their acts. SJ tried to reach out many times, YQY does not, YQY never tried to reach out to SJ in any way that mattered, so they never had reciprocation.

Not saying YQY wouldn't have his own issues with his past, but YQY always cared more about keeping his secrets and wallowing in self-pity and guilt than he did about SJ. He is mainly responsible for SJ turning out the way he did. If YQY didn't want to tell SJ the truth, fine, but he should have told SJ the way he treated some of his disciples was unacceptable and not allowed it to continue. If YQY did the bare minimum, then SJ story wouldn't have turned out the way it did. YQY is a toxic enabler and wilfully ignorant.

He completely enabled SJ'sworst tendencies, which made SJ go down the route he did. YQY is willing to let SJ go and allow him to drown in his own loneliness, resentment, and despair. YQY would watch, allow it to continue, and do nothing.

YQY had to have an idea of what SJ went through and even then he told SJ to adjust himself for other when they were disciples, to try to get along with the other disciples when none of them tried to reach out to SJ and spread rumors about him. It was always SJ that was the problem and needed to conform to fit in, never anyone else.

YQY never openly defended SJ from all those rumors or anyone else in the sect. When others asked YQY why he treated SJ nicely and why he would want SJ memories to return when SY took over, all he did was vaguely smile.

YQY never tried to openly defend SJ or try to restore SJ memories. YQY, like everyone else, preferred SY over SJ. To me, YQY affection/trust for SJ seems a bit surface level, I think he mostly felt obligation and guilt. He also doubted SJ innocence when LQG died. It doesn't matter if YQY would have tried to help SJ, he still doubted SJ and believed SJ could do that.

YQY actions when it comes to SJ aren't proactive. They are always a belated reaction. Only asking/acting when it's the point of no return. In the water prison(he let SJ be taken there), he asked about LQG, and he asked if things would have been different if SJ treated LBH better (it was YQY that allowed SJ to treat LBH that way). SJ knew that it was pointless to question those things because it was already too late.

YQY only decided to act when SJ legs got torn off. When SJ was literally being torn apart, then YQY decided that was a good enough reason to act. When it was far too late and irrevocable damage had been done. Didn't forget about the red string.

Had a talk about that in a fic comment section and liked the authors thoughts on it, will quote them: "The red string thing is funny because it broke in the end, and if as everyone says, the bleeding in PIDW extra shows that their 'fate is broken so it must be the hint for their red string', then the red string broke because of LBH(og), then wouldn't it actually mean YQY and SJ's so-called 'red string' was meant to be broken, because SJ was (as og villain) destined to encounter LBH. If the og story as meant by Airplane-bro was supposed to be 'as it was fixed by Shen Yuan', then the so-called red string was not meant to last. It was meant to be broken, because YQY is ultimately a passer-by in SJ's life. Very influential presence, but a passer-by nonetheless. Comrades, brothers, each other's support in the toughest times of their lives even, but never romantic." : end quote.

In a relationship, YQY would not take initiative and would be spineless, never stand up to SJ. He would let SJ self-destruct, drown in resentment, and self-hatred. YQY is too passive in regards to SJ, and there is no reciprocation on YQY side. YQY wouldn't openly defend or speak up for SJ against others and their rumors. YQY would never act until irrevocable damage has already been done.

Even if they cleared up the misunderstanding between them, they still would not be suited for a romantic relationship because of their innate personalities. YQY would always be passive, and SJ needs someone more challenging and passionate and has a personality that can match his.

To me, them being together feels like settling. They would have a passionless/lukewarm relationship, neither of them would have fun in it or enhance their lives. I don't feel like there could be a romantic spark/chemistry between them. It feels like a tepid relationship.

I think the best relationship between SJ/YQY is a brotherly one. With SJ being a grumpy lil bro to YQY doting older bro. SJ telling YQY not to be reckless, YQY wanting SJ to have friends, being proud when SJ gets along with others.

So, yeah, those are my thoughts on SJ/YQY. Not trying to hate on that ship or anyone that ships them, and I hope it didn't come across that way.

This is the first time I had a strong no for a ship and not just a casual no, and I wanted to get my thoughts in ordering as to why.

Not that a reason is needed to not like a ship, but this one is different for me. Also, I'm a bit sad that SJ/YQY is the most popular Shen Jiu pairing when LBH is right there. BingJiu gets so much hate when SJ and LBH have inherent compatibility in their personalities that makes them a great match.

When developed properly, they(BingJiu) can have a beautiful relationship. As for YQY, read a fic that made me think YQY and LQG would be good for each other, and they are just a side pair in a BingJiu fic.

Want to be clear that I'm not hateing on SJ/YQY or anyone who ships them, apologies if it came across that way. These are just my opinions, and I'm a little disappointed that I don't like them as a ship. Because it feels like a ship I should have liked, but because of how my brain interpret them, I can't enjoy them as a ship.

Its disappointing because there are a lot of great fanworks for them that are out of my reach. Anyways, I'll stay in my Shen Jiu/Luo Binghe corner. Its small, but finding happy BingJiu fanworks is the best.

[stregoniconiconii]

maybe it's because i've been working on my own transfem stevie fic for ages now and so i have my own very specific headcanons, but going through the tag is truly . it's not the greatest experience. for me. there are surface level reasons for this and also far more insidious reasons.

like there is the matter of me not really shipping steddie or harringrove. this is surface level. i just don't like either of their characters and i find the fans of the ships and those characters annoying. this is life in fandom. it means that most of the time, if i want to read a fic about stevie, i must also suffer reading about eddie or billy, neither of whom i care about. again, such is life. it's fine. ship what you want.

but. but. i do not like how transfem stevie gets written a lot of the time either. whether it's in posts or fics. there's a lot of ideas ppl spout that they have not actually examined. many of which feature transphobia/transmisogyny. and i have to see them. and it sucks.

bc. like. why do so many ppl write stevie's bf du jour as gay. like this is often specified. eddie is a gay man who has just found out that his boyfriend wants to be a woman. wow how does eddie feel about that? i dont care. thats what a lot of fics are about tho. yay. eddie isn't even gay, its just a popular headcanon. altho some ppl believe in it so much they've convinced themselves there are hints of it in canon. there isn't. there are some ppl out there who do feel at odds with transfem stevie and eddie dating bc they believe so strongly in gay eddie. which is fine. eddie can be bi. or straight. i think a bi realisation is fun and i think its even more fun when the bi realisation happens in reverse to what is expected. but there are a number of works out there that still insist on eddie calling himself gay. when he has a trans wife. and i do not like that. it feels invalidating to stevie's identity as a trans woman. it's also. it's not about stevie. it's about how her boyfriend feels about his partner transitioning. most of the time.

i also do not like so many ppl feeling the need to explain why stevie and robin aren't dating in this au. like. there's a few reasons why so many of those posts rub me the wrong way. there's some that are obvious. i distinctly remember a post that posited a PANSEXUAL robin and stevie attempting to have casual sex. first off. there's zero need to specify a pansexual robin. it can just be regular old lesbian robin bc lesbians are attracted to women and. forgive me stating the obvious here but. trans women are women.

that's just one post. but there are MANY that state that robin and stevie do not and will never date bc it is "disgusting". that is often the word used. disgusting. it's meant to be funny perhaps? some joke about stevie and robin being sisters and incest is gross. okay. well they aren't sisters. personal headcanon time but i dont think they see themselves as siblings, canonverse or otherwise. i think they're just friends. and i dont like seeing all these posts saying that kissing, having sex with, or dating a trans woman is "disgusting". it upsets me. more than once ive seen robin being upset with/at?? stevie for being attractive to her and still somehow unavailable to her. bc ? she knows that she does some gross/embarrassing thing? they know each other too well? so they can obviously never date. which is. honestly it's just confusing. do you think couples dont know the other farts? that they don't know each other? but again the image invoked is that being with a trans woman would be gross or embarrassing. that's not a fun thing to hear about.

sometimes the reason given is that they've known each other too long. they spent so much time only thinking of each other as friends that it's weird to think about the other in a romantic light. okay that can happen. but again this is usually accompanied with robin being like. kinda mad at stevie for being hot as a woman. so she's attracted to her? but not bc she knows her gross habits too well. but maybe if she had met her now, and not before she transitioned, then they may have gotten together. so the fact that robin knew her as a man is putting her off dating her? wow. that has some implications. i've seen many reasons as to why stevie and robin can't date, except really the most important one: that they don't want to. they're happier just being friends. it never occurred to them to start dating each other bc they're happy with the way they're relationship is. but that rarely comes up. the fact that it would be gross comes up far more often.

you don't have to write about stevie and robin dating. or having sex. or being anything other than friends if you just want them to be friends. seeing this same idea repeated over and over again, that it would be gross for them to be together, just makes it feel like you are overcompensating. like maybe you do believe they could date and be very happy, which actually would be fine. it's a niche au and has very little to do with canon so i don't think it means that you secretly want stobin to date in canon. but honestly? the way ppl speak against stobin dating in this sort of au implies that they are still primarily thinking of canon steve. in a transfem stevie au. which i think colours the way they talk about stevie's relationships, not just with robin but also with other characters. i think they are thinking of canon steve pretending to be a trans woman. which is. well, do i need to say it?

i also can't believe i need to say this but ppl who want to ship a lesbian and a man together will just do that. they already don't care. why would they jump through those hoops of genderbending a male character when they could just write what they want to write? no one is stopping them. you can post whatever you want on ao3, for better or worse, and if you actually delved into the tag you would see that the way transfem (or even cisfem) stobin is written is very different from canon stobin. there are completely different kinks going on. it's as asinine as believing that men will dress up as women to attack women in bathrooms, imo. like. they don't need to do all that, they can just attack women in bathrooms. and they often do. that thought might be too harsh but i do believe it's the same sort of sentiment.

i think that's sort of the crux of my issue with a lot of transfem stevie content. the idea of canon steve is too forefront in her creation. she is a woman but still male enough to date a gay man and also still male enough to not date a lesbian. and it's not about her. it's not about stevie. it's upsetting. i don't like it. i think transfem stevie deserves better.

[datastate]

steeples my hands. hello all. i'm thinking about asunaro's perception of maple again

...& it's honestly a bit funny how hiyori's supremely fucked up the majority of his relationships with the other asu-agents simply through his manipulation of maple - especially as, within asunaro, artificial intelligence is commonly seen as a reflection of humanity, if not human in their own right (which they try to prove through the death game)

{ MEISTER }

LISTEN... mr. chidouin's generally shown to be very loving and affectionate (arguably overly so) with sara (and even kai!), i cannot believe he doesn't feel similarly with mrs. chidouin. whatever issues they share, i'm firmly of the belief that he insists on the idea he's doing the best for his family because he so openly and genuinely loves them and wishes for their success, or to otherwise mean something in the grand scheme of asunaro. seeing one's love be programmed in and repeatedly manipulated/discarded like this, beyond that of its intended gimmick, is an immensely uncomfortable situation. don't get me wrong, mr. chidouin has indubitably manipulated kai and imposes on sara. however, he imagines for kai that it is worth the harm because it's cultivated a better life for him on the whole. he's groomed them into these set roles out of care, with the thought they have the strength to carry these mantles in this recreation of the hades incident - but hiyori does not care for maple's place in the death game. the only reason hiyori interacts with maple at all, this outdated iteration of dolls, is due to his own fear. mr. chidouin cannot sympathize with this. he had accepted kai into the family fully-aware of the fact that if kai discovered his true identity, he would surely resent or kill him - he's an assassin still! - but he was more than willing to put his life on the line if it meant he could provide a better ending for the satous who had survived the assassin's trial... and, eventually, he wanted to know kai on a much more personal level. kai, like maple, was built for the ultimatum - but kai was granted love where maple was continuously denied it. what love she held was utilized as a barrier rather than an emotion worth actually fostering. there would be no betrayal in 'crossing that line' of killing hiyori, nothing in it to make it a fault of hers. unlike mr. chidouin's peace with the knowledge his leverage over kai is fragile, hiyori would die an uneventful death at maple's hand if she finally wrangled free of his control. there is nothing honorable in that, and his selfishness brings only disgrace to the ultimatum.

{ EMIRI HARAI }

seeing how easily someone's emotions can be toyed with on a surface level, enough so to dissuade their original personality, does not inspire confidence, to say the least! & definitely not after being faced with grieving her lover. if she did join asunaro in the hopes of reviving him, the sight of this completely destroys that hope; she bears firsthand the proof that love is only something to be manipulated by those in power in asunaro. she doesn't even have the work she was once so proud of - what she has left of herself are... these scattered pieces that were incompatible when moving from civilian life into asunaro's clutches. where, if you peer too close, you'd inevitably find a weakness; which is implied to be the cause of this persona of hers. never allowing anyone near enough to recognize what lays beneath, otherwise she'll be discarded just the same because... she, like mr. chidouin, did have a loving relationship. and seeing the destruction of her own reflected in another innocent person who is unable/unaware of the utter grasp asunaro has on her is repulsive; regardless of her personal beliefs on whether or not AIs are "human enough" - to program one is to put in faith that they are. to then go so far as to rid the choices crucial to being human... hits a bit too close to home, aha.

{ MICHIRU NAMIDA }

as one who is evidently very firm in her belief that her creations are perfect & that AIs are practically interchangeable with humans, i'm sure her opinions on hiyori's treatment of maple are. less than ideal for Workplace Civilty. to say nothing of the implied idea that they work closely together with AI development (hiyori specifically crediting any of ranger's success to michiru's ability alone) and thus michiru has had personal contact with maple to see the effects of hiyori's treatment... michiru's already spent much of her life feeling suppressed. asunaro recognized she was unable to fully flourish in her previous workplace and offered her a place where she could do away with ethics in the chase of something larger than her, in the name of humanity - but seeing what hiyori's imposed upon maple just drags back all of those unwelcome feelings. it's horrifying - though she knows she can't speak on it because she doesn't have seniority on the maple project, nor does she have a place on floors four/five where this gimmick would take place. the most she can do in the meanwhile is comfort maple. indulge that humanity where hiyori refutes it. but even if she comforts maple, she cannot remove that tie to hiyori keeping her subdued. she feels terribly complicit. michiru particularly loves the AI creations because they resemble the best of humanity in her eyes; for hiyori to discard maple like this begs the question of his dedication to asunaro's projects at all, not to mention it seems needlessly cruel. he's neglecting her without even taking interest in the pain she endures at his behest - there's hardly any reason. and that's the worst of it. michiru, as most asunaro does, believes in the idea of 'the ends must justify the means' -- and in maple's case, hiyori lacks that vital rule.

{ GASHU SATOU }

it's... complicated. gashu resents the hiyoris on the idea that their methodology is reprehensible, having been victim to it himself, and yet recognizes the necessity of having a department of asunaro dedicated to extortion to keep public relations stable. of course, this means their pride is unfortunately not without basis. for their work, they are rewarded, and maple is the piteous pinnacle of that. gashu has created ranger in the hopes of replicating the children he wished to save, whereas maple's creation has no such purpose beyond the implied "let's see how incorporating emotions will work for future artificial intelligence" - a stepping stone in something larger, rather than a project in its own right. but while she could've been laid to rest once their technology moved forward, sou hiyori had the power to deny her that. he forces a role upon her for the death game without accepting the burden that entails - it's irresponsible and a clear indication of his assumption that the world must fall in line with his every whim. hiyori demands maple accept her fate in the ultimatum so he needn't accept his own death; never need experience that utter lack of control he exercises freely over others. to gashu, hiyori does present the worst vices of his family. he almost pities him. almost.

{ RIO RANGER }

ranger and maple have fought over their respective favored person. i know this to be true. maple points out that gashu's intentions aren't entirely in rio's favor, instead the shadows lingering in his creation. maple recognizes the emotional weight behind some of the things he says to ranger where rio is quite literally unable to comprehend them. she will critique gashu's desire to constantly have rio 'prove' himself to his creator (...even as she attempts to 'prove' herself to hiyori, it's easier to recognize in another) -- meanwhile, rio gets annoyed with maple and how content she appears with her current programming, with letting hiyori crush her personality in favor of giving her something tantalizingly out of reach: a new feeling. the dolls endure a monochrome world unless they have something to incite those feelings. maple is more fortunate than ranger in this sense, but is still left with the high that only hiyori can grant her. ...and rio gets angry. it's aggravation on her behalf, but he doesn't have the capacity to understand that, instead blaming it on the idea she's incompetent and far too reliant on humanity. but even if he doesn't share the appeal of humanity, he doesn't only use that as a point in their arguments - rather demanding to know that if that's what she wants, then why the fuck are you letting that asshole stifle who you are? letting him control your every move? but of course, sometimes after an argument with maple, he's left irritated with hiyori. even if he can't recognize why, the reality of the matter is that maple wasn't the true source of his anger. hiyori also shares a fascination with humanity which ranger feels he's infected maple with, to flaunt the unachievable to her as justification for why she'll never be enough for him. ranger initiates these loaded conversations to try to get maple to learn to fight back for herself instead of his sake. and sure, rio doesn't fight gashu, but that's out of respect. instead, maple's become so... blasé about her treatment, and is far too hopeful that there's anything she can do to have hiyori's eyes on her alone. maple's already proven herself to ranger and earned some semblance of respect (in physical capability + rio's... somewhat envious of her larger range of emotion, though he mostly mirrors the curiosity he knows michiru & gashu use when he asks). but, to rio, she'll never be 'enough' to anyone if she's not allowed to accept that she's a doll who is capable of so much more than he's limited her program to; she doesn't have to remain stagnant and subservient to be something worthwhile. rio's changed, and his father still praises him. if hiyori's worth half the shit he spits, he'll do the same for her. the majority of this is speculation, admittedly. but i like to think rio's always felt defensive over the dolls; it's just that the ways he does are. difficult to recognize. with the limiter on his emotions. there's an inherent understanding there.

[coffinbrotherr]

Istg I keep seeing videos in my recommend that have either Andrew or Ashley sprites in the thumbnail and it's always in the lines of "shock storytelling is BAD" or "this needs to STOP" (I'm not providing examples as to not install a witchhunt but if youve seen them, you know EXACTLY who im talking about.) and I dont...I don't get why? Like, ok genuinely I'm having an actual hard time understanding why because being disturbed and being made uncomfortable is quite literally the definition of horror, so why is it a problem now.

To I guess throw my hat into the ring, I'd like to explain why i personally think incest integral to Tcoaal not only because I'm just fucking tired of seeing people not like the game just because of that aspect and I'm not knocking those people because of it because people can not like things for specific reasons, for example I am not one for horror involving teeth or the mouth so I tend to ignore horror media that prominently use those as setpieces. I'm mainly talking about people that bash it without actually playing it and people that see it at surface level and just make a Baseless assumption because to me and obviously a lot of other people as it still has great reviews, Tcoaal is wonderfully written and that IS thanks to its incest themes.

We see that throughout the game, Ashley obviously loves her brother, not only in the romantic sense but also in the power dynamic. While some aspects have yet to be revealed about thier relationship as we still only have two chapters, Ashley obviously manipulates Andrew and has since they were little as evident by the hide and seek flashback. It's incredibly obvious that Ashley likes control over people and since she doesn't really have anyone else that's closer to her, she uses Andrew exclusively as he's always been there with her figuratively and literally. While this behavior definitely comes from a sense of loneliness and fear of losing the one person that tolerates her as not even thier own parents wanted to stay around them let alone her, I think it also comes down to enjoying the control. Genuinely think about the story of the game for a sec, could you imagine being in that exact situation we see the siblings in. The closest thing we can even relate it to is covid, and we could at least still leave the house to an extent and have things sent to us that we wanted. Imagine going through all that not being able to leave, literally having the bare minimum of food being dropped off to you and being FORCED to stay inside not with a slap on the wrist but with active threats of death even though you know other people get to freely live outside peacefully. Not only is that terrifying but it gives a lot more insight to Ashley's character as she's literally stuck in a place she cannot control in an unfounded situation that is positively awful, but she does have one thing she can control, she has one person she can make exclusively hers and make him do whatever she wants through manipulation and the connection with love. The same goes for Andrew as we know Andrew was at least a bit more popular with people to the point where he even had a girlfriend (Julia) and to have literally all that stripped away from him is tragic, however for him there's one more person he can interact with, one person that cares about him and truly does love him in a way only they can share. It's a beautifully horrific way of telling a story because on the outside, it just looks like "oh hah hah, that's the incest cannibalism game" but if you actually played it you would see not only is the writing genuinely funny but also incredibly smart with its subtle meaning and player interpretation. It's NOT glorifying incest, it is actively showing an incredibly toxic relationship that was made through the circumstances and actions taken with both characters and to say it's just "shock storytelling" or "it's just trying to glorify incest" is just wrong, it's using the incest to further the narrative and that's why I personally find this game to be my favorite work of horror.

But that was just my interpretation, I'd love to hear your guy's views on it because I'd love to further the discussion and potentially add to my analysis as this was just something I wrote at 12:30 AM in bed. I could go on and on about my personal analysis but a lot of it would just be me being genuinely pretty annoyed with the games detractors and overall just make for a poor reading experience.

[popiellart]

15 and 39 for Shrike! Gimme I think these will be interesting :D (given I already know some about him)

Thanks for the questions! Those are really fun 🤩

15. Are they presumed to be dead or are they still acting as though they are alive to the general public?

That's a funny question for Shrike because he is, indeed presumed dead by most people, and has been officially erased from existence, such as the hospital not having a record of his birth, but that has absolutely nothing to do with his Embrace whatsoever.

As a teen, he was kidnapped by some people who hoped to exert pressure on, or at least get some money from, Shrike's father, a head of criminal organization. They really thought the man gives a shit about one of his surplus sons 🤣

Anyways, to at least have some use out of him, Shrike's kidnappers ended up forcing him to do drug mule work, and when a larger cartel swallowed up their shitty little gang, he ended up in human trafficking, from where he sire dredged him up (it wasn't a rescue.)

But to most of the world, he was dead for a long time by then, or never has existed in the first place. The only people who still believe he is alive are his darling twin sister, who is one of his Touchstones, and his only half-brother out of bunch that wasn't a total monster to him.

39. Could they easily decipher what a Malkavian is saying?

Yes, easily, but he would refuse to admit he gets it. Because he thinks understanding anything beyond its literal meaning and delving deeper into themes and symbolism is stupid and gay.

Very childish of him and incredibly ironic given he is an Auspex-strong Tzimisce who regularly receives prophetic visions.

Drives his book-loving fake sire crazy, too, because he'll refuse to discuss literature beyond surface-level themes, even though she knows damn well he understands the more advanced concepts.

[spidermanifested]

as someone who likes to think hes thought a decent amount about the story of fullmetal alchemist. aka every single day for the past however many years. the thing about the bafflingly prevalent contingent of people who insist that fmas politics are actually very nuanced and leftist is. that i honestly cant figure out what parts of it they even mean?

is it the part where fascism is defeated by war criminal "heroes" who insist that the best way to enact large scale change is to never directly challenge systems, but to infiltrate them and work your way up to the top until you can become the dictator yourself and then tell everyone that actually voting is cool. unless the whole world is about to end, in which case youre allowed to do One coup but then you have to lie to the whole country about what happened and go back to doing incrementalism

is it the part where fascism isnt interrogated realistically as a cultivated product of social unrest, stratification and bigotry, but instead was instituted by a Cosmically Evil Badguy, and all the imperialism and genocide was just kind of a byproduct of that, and if we beat that one guy then everything will eventually be fine

the part where the difference between a Good King and a Bad King is that a good king CARES about his subjects and a bad king DOESNT care >:( but even within the "we need to turn amestris into a democracy!!!" lukewarmly liberal moral framework theres zero discussion of the fact that maybe monarchies are also pretty bad. and the good ending is when the Good King promises to protect the oppressed ethnic minorities in his country but god forbid those minorities actually have any political power themselves

is it the part where the most oppressed ethnic minority in *amestris* is represented by "Religious Terrorist (But Sad)", "Terrorist's Dead Brother", "System-Loving Cop", "Old Lady Who Shows Up Once To Say Not All White People", and "Literally Gandhi. Look At Him Hes Saying A Gandhi Quote"

is it the part where killing people is the worst thing you can do, but if you do mass murder to civilians on behalf of a government but feel really bad the whole time you can still be a good guy, but if you do any amount of killing for any other reason or while feeling an emotion other than sadness youre a borderline-irredeemable monster, unless youre barry the chopper in which case it was funny so its okay (< the only part here thats true)

is it the part where the main character gains the respect of a member of the aforementioned ethnic minority by being racist to him. the part where a black girl has to get scolded by a white girl to realize that stealing is wrong. the part where the only major character to refuse to take part in a genocide is constantly called a coward for doing so by his epic girlboss hypernationalist sister and this is never really challenged. the part where the Sad Religious Terrorist gets guilt tripped so hard about killing 2 people while he was having the worlds most understandable panic attack that he decides hes fine working together with the guys who killed his family, because the System Loving Cop is so heroic, for wanting to do incrementalism, which again, is inherently moral

like the more i think about it the less i get it. this is the most milquetoast "bad things are bad and good things are good" status quo loving political narrative for 15 year olds on earth. where is the super relevant social commentary. because it feels like its just incredibly surface level "the bad guy is like hitler so the author is antifascist and based!!!" 2014 harry potter fandom type nonsense and its REALLY weird that it always comes from people insisting that theyre just that much better at media analysis than all the haters?? and that any criticism must be missing the point. what point. what is the point

[skateboardtotheheart]

in every fandom, I see a lot of posts that are always like "if you don't like this character you're wrong" or "you just don't understand them" and seeing those kinds of posts just makes me so frustrated???

most recently I've seen a lot of those posts about the cat king from dead boy detectives (just because it's my latest hyperfixation), and frankly, yeah, I don't really understand. and I will read your entire long post explaining why he's got all these little nuances or subtle tones or genuineness that I missed and I can grow a little more understanding about him. but hey- when I'm done reading your post? unfortunately I still do not like him. I can appreciate him and what he brings to the show, but I just don't like him. it's not because I think he's creepy or gets in the way of a ship or anything most people automatically assume - he's just not my vibe. he simply doesn't fit in the scope of characters I enjoy.

and why is that wrong?? why do I need to be lectured at because of that?? when did fandoms get to a point that people aren't allowed to have differing opinions on a character or dislike a character just because? yes, a lot of the time it is, but it doesn't always need to be deeper than that.

YOU relate to that character on a deeper level, YOU understand their intrinsic motivations, or at least what you perceive them to be, and YOU love that character. fantastic!! I'm happy for you!! enjoying media in a way where you can do that is how it is meant to be!! but in absolutely no universe will everyone ever have the exact same interpretations of a character or piece of media. we all see different aspects of people and relate to things/characters differently. I've been on both sides of things! sometimes my favorite character in a show is someone that everyone else hates or doesn't care for, but I'm okay with that! if they disagree with me, then they disagree with me. I've done the deep dives into why I think the character acts the way they do and taken time to devote myself to better understanding them.

but some people just don't do that. you can be a fan of something without doing that with a character. hell, you can be a fan of something by only ever consuming the source material at its surface level and NEVER going deeper if you do not want to do so. it's allowed.

maybe while you're interpreting a character to have a deeper trauma that results in them acting the way they do, they're reminding someone else of trauma they went through and that character makes them feel bad. maybe you see someone trying to help, but someone else sees it as manipulation. maybe you see someone cold and bitter while someone else sees the kindest person with years of walls built up around them. maybe what someone else interprets as funny, you have never laughed at.

((if we're keeping with the dbd example, think about when the Night Nurse watched Charles' death. what she saw was the quick and utter devotion that Charles developed for Edwin and how deeply he cares for him; she's seeing that Charles will truly not give up in getting Edwin back from hell. what Charles saw was the pure kindness Edwin had done for him even after all those decades in the worst place imaginable; he's seeing who Edwin is on a deeper level. neither interpretations of the memory are incorrect. but after watching the exact same thing, they are thinking in two entirely different directions))

so why does everything seem to start off with "you're wrong" and "I'm sad for you because you just don't get it"? we should be HAPPY that there are people out there who take different approaches and have different interpretations. that is how media is meant to be consumed. and I'm not saying that you shouldn't make your long posts explaining why you love a character- by all means do that!! you understand something that others don't and that should be put out in the world!! but if you're going to do that you also need to understand that there are a lot of people who you WILL persuade, and there are a lot of people who you will NOT. don't be upset about that and certainly do not put down or lecture anyone who doesn't agree with you. it's OKAY. it is not the end of the world just because someone doesn't like a character you like.

everyone interprets media differently. and that's amazing.

[eshithepetty]

Having ritsu feelings today

The fandom does him so dirty 😔

Like he doesn't have that much fan content and the content he does get is often micharacterized/flanderized, too. I feel like...

People often make him too angry and emo and overprotective, usually because they take those qualities as surface level funnies. Like hes definitely a little hater to an extent, but you dont get itttht hes not just edgy, he has layers, and hes not just mean to everyone all the time, hes actually quite polite towards people a lot of the time because he grew up as the smart good kid, and I hate HATE how overprotective they often make him of mob, like, hes certainly protective to an extent, and its an important part of him because its literally part of his issues™, but people take it too far, especially in ship fics, like - for example, its apparent in how they make him hate teru for no reason so often, even though!! That literally has no canon evidence!!! Like he even looks up to teru in canon a tiny bit i feel like! And of course once they get to know each other better theres a good chance hell clash with teru to an extent, because terus just extra and ridiculous and ritsu doesnt bode with people like that too well (as evidenced by reigen), and actually, on topic of reigen, he definitely is wary of him, but like 😭 calm down, he doesn't actually want to kill reigen, hes not that big of a hater. But what i find most disappointing is how many people just. Dont get him. Like ive heard so many people say that they dont understand the big clean up arc or that ritsu was just being edgy for no reason or that they even dislike that arc and im....

hghrhrg i am beating my pillow i love that arc, i love young characters struggling to understand their feelings, i love traumatised characters taking out their bottled feelings in unhealthy and messy ways, i love characters who get it wrong, i love characters who put themselves into narratives of good and evil to make their life make sense, i love characters who only slip deeper and deeper into despair until they are pulled back, i love the arc for how well paced it is and how well it transitioned from one story beat to the next and how gradually it revealed more about the characters and the world and its still one of my favorite arcs ever and one of the ones i think the anime did the most justice like I LOVE YOU BIG CLEAN UP ARC AND I LOVE YOU RITSU!!!!!

sorry

[blxxditout]

Generally speaking, if we’re going to be looking at this from surface level, Selene is a terrible person for seeking Sid out for the sake of her ritual to become immortal. She found someone who was at their lowest point, and groomed them for her own needs. Though she didn’t treat Sid horribly or physically harmed him in the beginning, she still planned to take his life in the long run. While she did intend to bring him back after achieving immortality for herself, she did fully intend to kill him. This, however was met with some difficulty which allowed Sid to fight back and take her life in the end which lead to his resurrection and such. Yes, it’s stated in his lore that her love was conditional because of her wanting to fulfill and complete her ritual, but how does one grapple with losing the one that you loved and raised after spending so much time together with that person? How was she supposed to feel about it if she didn’t love him at all? 

While it could be said that Selene viewed him more like a dog(I. I think there are other mentions of how she viewed him but I can’t find it at the time of writing this) and Sid grew to lover her like one. He was so pitifully enamored with her at the start when she took him in, because it was the first time in a long while where someone had bothered to care for him. He’d gone so long without it that he’d forgotten what it felt like, but that might only be because of how removed he was from everyone else. In every verse he has, he’s always isolated, and perfectly available for her to swoop in and to save him. After praying for it, needing it so desperately, he is finally saved from his own abyss of loneliness and sadness. Brought in from the cold, he clings to her warmth that she provides and knows that he can’t go without or he’ll die. LITERALLY DIE. The bridge scene was so very pivotal in his story that if she hadn’t appeared, there’d be no Sid. 

It’d end there, and his brother wouldn’t know if he lived or not, and maybe Selene would’ve still have been alive and another poor whelp would’ve been killed in his stead. HOWEVER, in spite of this, it could not have been anyone else. Their lives may differ, but it is at this point where he is at his lowest that she comes in and brings him out of his state of despair. Does it mean that their love was one-sided then? Was Selene seeking him out to fill the void of another love lost and immortality not yet achieved through Scythe? No. She loved him with all of her heart, she loved him so much, that she wanted to live forever with him. Sid just didn’t know it was to that extent that she wanted to preserve them like that, or that her love was different from his own sense of the word.

Selene was selfish in wanting to preserve what they had forever, to become immortal actually goes against what she was about ironically enough. Which was living in the moment. Another funny thing about that is that it has been said that being loved is the closest thing that we can achieve to being immortal. Love immortalizes all. In a literal sense at that, considering that’s exactly what it took to keep Sid alive long enough to outlast Selene. The wine might’ve aided that too, but that’s not important. This warped sense of love is an instance of the saying ‘till death do we part’ too because in death they would’ve been reunited but because of what Selene did he can’t even be sure of his own feelings towards her anymore. Scythe has ever only been loyal to its master, to serve while being used over and over again. In that, it saw itself in Sid, a tool ready to be discarded but unlike all the others that have come before him Sid was the only one that had fought back. 

He wanted things to go differently, to live after things were finally starting to look so good. 

They could’ve been good, and this is something that he laments over often, not only in his threads but whenever he’s just by himself. Sid goes on being unable to fill this absence in his heart left by her, and she only ever wanted to fill what was missing in her own. It’s the reason why he has that specific scar over his heart, because from this point moving forward he will never be able to get over her and this– while not her intention– is something that she would’ve wanted. As mentioned before, to be loved is to be immortal, and as long as he keeps her in his heart, she will never be forgotten. In the end, she really did get what she wanted, just not in the way she thought she’d be getting it.