#i mean its only surface level but still funny to think about

[sunnnfish]

hey we *should* talk abt tashiro and loneliness! sometimes i get reminded of that page in second anime guidebook extra where tashiro is just quietly observing around and when he says its gonna be lonely kuresawa does his glasses thing,,, and what happened to lonelines,,, we definitely should talk about it

okay i need to lock in. hello anon thank you so much for letting me unleash this unto the world. buckle up strap in Here we go.

TASHIRO GONZABUROU AND LONELINESS: AN IMPROMPTU ESSAY

first we are all going to look at this excerpt from the Sasaki and Miyano: First Years Novel:

“So you’re never coming back, President?” I said. “I ain’t President anymore.” “Not the point! I haven’t beat you yet…” I clenched my fists, a yawning, lonely feeling of loss opening within me. “Ahh. You mean the thing about getting to quit if you win? The next president’ll keep that promise. Don’t you worry.” “What?” I don’t get it. What happened to the loneliness? The new president—in other words, Hanzawa.

a bit of context just in case you're here and you don't know yet: Tashiro's chapter in the first years novel deals with his joining of the ping pong club, which he initially did as a joke kind of but couldn't leave until he beat the club president (really good at ping pong). so he's downright stuck. and he doesn't like to admit it but he dedicates a lot of his time trying to beat the president. and he never does win. and then the president graduates and hanzawa is the new president. so it's like. for a moment, all that time and dedication and well. friendship. was being taken away from him. i think the previous president was maybe one of the closest people he had. takes two to play ping pong, and all that. it's a conversation. hurts to have your partner taken away.

and then we get the second guidebook extras. where fucking this happens:

and afterwards miyano thinks about loneliness and Sasaki graduating but we're Not Going To Get Into That. sooo funny you're comparing hanzashiro and sasamiya harusono shou Sorry. this isn't about that. anyways. we see it here again. Tashiro's president is graduating again. and he feels lonely. and this time there's no one to replace it. that yawning, lonely feeling of loss. (<-just. a really insane way to describe it. insanely profound. harusono shou and hachijo kotoko Answer my calls.)

so those kind of set the stage for me being completely totally insane. even before these, i kinda always had the feeling of like. what I've mentioned in my other posts. about how hes Friends With Everyone but not close with anyone. he's quite surface level. and those he Was rather close with, the prospect of losing them makes him lonely so easily. even just graduating. not getting to see them every day. and like. when he does let that feeling slip in the guidebook extra, everyone is kinda. stunned. like that show of vulnerability isn't normal at all from him. the way it's also framed as rainy and gloomy, and especially that dim panel of him smiling but thinking "it feels like not even half of them are still around…" its ominous as hell. he's so melancholic about it. but he still puts on that smiley facade. and looks around like it's a ghost town when nobody's looking.

another facet of it is his sharp insight. he's really good about noticing things about other people. and he's a really good listener. so i think a lot of people just. end up telling him things. but he doesn't really tell other people things. which is what i mean by friends with everybody but not close with anybody. people open up to him, but he doesn't open up to them. and the only people he was getting there with go on and graduate. leaves him lonely.

so it's all kinda like. he's very surface level social. in a way that nobody thinks he's got anything else going on. hes a Fun Guy!! nothing wrong over here! not that he necessarily has anything Wrong. just the feeling of like. he could have like a dead parent and nobody would know something was amiss. thats kinda dramatic but. yknow. he doesn't really talk about his feelings. anyways.

last aspect of the loneliness i wanna touch on a bit is his relationship with his parents. we. don't get much. one mention of them in his miso soup conversation:

“Man, that makes no sense to me! For one thing, we don’t even have miso every day at my house. If I want some, I just grab a packet of the instant stuff and boil up some water—on my own. I guess sometimes my folks ask me to make some for them, too, and I grab two packets.” “Huh! Wait, isn’t it actually expensive to make two people’s worth?” “Sure is. If that goes on for a couple days, my mom is like, it would be cheaper just to make a bunch at once! She always says laziness is the root of wasting money. And I’m like, I know that! But I keep making that soup.”

we'll get more into all that again later. focusing on his folks here. we can infer here that his parents don't seem to cook that often. it falls to him to make dinner for them all sometimes. and. i dunno. something about this makes them read as kinda distant. not in a neglectful or hurtful way... just. they don't care about what he does. like. I don't think he told them or asked permission to bleach his hair. he just Did It and came home and they were like Oh! well thats cool i guess [thumbs up]. i don't think he's very close with them either. like. he doesn't know How to open up, maybe. didn't grow up with it. that may be stretching it a bit though. whatever. either way, he keeps making that soup (miso soup metaphor for love. we'll get into it later).

so it's like. he does love his friends. he just sucks at opening up about his #feelings. and nobody could tell if he was truly upset about something. and everybody wants to hang out with someone else. it's played off for jokes but kuresawa and miyano often abandon him during breaks and holidays to hang out with their #lovers. though everybody note that shirahama is probably the exception to most of this. but he's also bad at talking about feelings so they don't really Talk about it. but he Knows. and they like to #hangout. (and thats part of what makes shirashiro so good to me. shirahama can ask a "hey are you okay" in a way that no one else can. #bestfriends) anyways.

i thiiink. that's everything. thank you for coming to my ted talk. thesis: Tashiro is secretly a pretty lonely guy but god forbid he Tell Anyone. peace and love on planet Tashiro gonzaburou….

[k1ngarlo]

Mansaku Sano Headcannons (sorry)

He'd cut fruit for you.

He'd cook for you.

He'd mostly follow your lead.

He'd definitely help or aid you in anyway, mostly injuries, or getting you out of social trouble if you're in any.

His name Mansaku means help, aid.

He talks about how he feels younger around you.

Talks about how when he was young, he was much taller but because of his bad back (+ scoliosis) he shrunk.

Like he's living his life all normal, and then you come along and boost him in and out, suddenly he wants to do things for you. He wants you in his family because you're so kind and he can see it happen.

Would def grow flowers and give them to you.

Ya'll ever argue, and you're being petty (it's funny to look at), he's reading his newspaper absent mindedly.

Has a kind personality and a strong one, he's always determined to help you. (You can see him resemble Shinichiro/Takemichi in that way).

Would massage your shoulders, feet (if you're massaging them yourself, he'd come over).

In turn you'd massage his back, bro would be blushing in embarrassment. If not, then he would still feel it.

The Sano house not only looks traditional, but it's ran by our old man. You can see how Emma and Senju are in similar circumstances but turned out differently. So Mansaku would hold a few traditional beliefs. Ofc Emma and Senju have their own choices and are different people, but environment plays a factor.

He mentions you to his students in the dojo, like: "gotta end early today because..." or "you guys like the flowers outside? it's for...."

You would probably drop by with a pack of bottled water and he'd keep it in the dojo in some corner if anyone needs.(my dojo sometimes had water BUT YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO DRINK TILL AFTER CLASS. HE'D DO THE SAME).

Spaces out while training his students because of you. He'd tell everyone to run laps instead and stop when he says so. Then lose count. (i stg my instructor did that).

You'd be close with Emma. Everyone is. Emma would hope to have love when she's older. Uses your relationship to think about her future with Draken.

Manjiro would have a respectful approach to you. He'd laugh at Emma talking about romance/love or something.

Shinichiro might try to hit on you lowkey. No one is safe from him.

Izana would be happy cause he sees his family growing. He gets to experience what it's like having a grandma. He's respectful to you, his elder and might feel a bit touched.

If you're young, Shinichiro would be weirded out, would hit on you still.

Mikey would be out of the house a lot more, he doesn't wanna see.

Izana isn't even home that much because of Mikey. It's all Mikey's fault (Kazutora is that you?).

If you look young, obviously Shinichiro would hit on you (its as a joke, he don't mean it), Emma would ask for your secret. N/A for Mikey or Izana.

You'd do his eyebrows, or he fixes them up already. NOW *cracks knuckles* time to get serious. Mansaku Sano (Grandpa Sano) Prime.

(Wat is bro doing.)

He's a fast learner.

You're with the coolest guy in his prime.

He's a fast guy.

He's the type to run all the way to your house if you need help or he thinks you need it. I imagine him having some kind of 6th sense.

Surface level he seems stiff, like no emotions. You're likely to have an arranged marriage with him like back then in the good ol days with strict supervision around you two.

But if it's love, then it comes from school.

He's the type to inspire you, he's confident, and his smile shines bright (i imagine him being more like Mikey comforting or reassuring his homies. ex. season 2 when he's driving with Mitsuya at the start, and with Takemichi near the end on his bike).

He's the type to write letters.

This is generations ago, so he's the type to keep his distance physically and be respectful. Even if you make the first move.

His main love language is acts of service.

Since Mansaku is a prodigy (according to himself), he's fierce, and a bit old I imagine to have gone through traumatizing ass casual training to emotions. Which lead him to wanting to aid people and passing that lesson/attribute down. (I mean look at how helpful Emma is wanting to protect her brother, her interactions with Hina, Mikey wanting to help Izana, there's other stuff I can't write from the top of my head, Shinichiro helping Izana, Seishu, Emma, who knows what else he did in his journey).

In an nfsw setting, he's be slow and gentle weather he likes you romantically or not. If you're both emotionally connected or on the same wavelength depending on the context then omg it'd feel so freakin special.

You'd fall first, he'd fall later. As long as you're not a shitty person.

In the end you die. Sano Russian Roulette is what you're signing up for. ♡

Just for the sake of it, I'll say that the dark impulses are something passed down from you. Back then with trad beliefs, it was frustrating growing up. You had a lot of rage. Luckily for you, Mansaku is patient, strong, and he's got that charming smile to keep you grounded.

If you do garden work, he continues to grow the flowers/fruit/veggies you grow cause it's natural for him.

If you show him your favorite meal and he remembers, he made it for himself and you. Too bad you're not here. But your beautiful daughter is.

Crying when your guys' daughter gets married, he feels like he's living his best life when his grandson is born aswell. (If you're dead it really feels like he's able to move on to find happiness, he's healing).

Scared more than ever for the first time in a long time, when his daughter is sick in the hospital. Acts of service to the max, it's a responsibility, a curse, whatever.

Honestly there has to be some kind of superpower thing in this family. We got 2 prodigies in the family(himself and mikey), Shin with powers, grandsons with some kind of raging curse.

requests open.

[syrupspinner]

ive been playing a lot of collective unconscious lately

at first i was gonna make a post talking about multiple ynoproject games before i realized that i just had too much to say about this one. also, this was written before the update dropped

header made by callisto on steamgriddb

if you dont already know what yume nikki is, i consider it a must-play if you enjoy analyzing games. its effectively a rorschach test with just enough fuel to point you in an interesting direction that nobodys pieced together in quite the same way yet. the best way to play it is either for free on steam, or on ynoproject.net, which also hosts a handful of the fuckton of games that act as entries into the yumenikki-like genre. perhaps the most notable among these games, along with the classics like yume 2kki and .flow, is collective unconscious, a yume nikki fangame designed with the website's massively-multiplayer functionality in mind.

initially, i was worried that the collective nature of the game would encourage way more obtuse design. like, if youve heard of namco's tower of druaga, you might know that while english arcade-goers hated the eclectic and bizarre progression requirements, japanese arcades were abuzz with collaboration, people starting cabinet journals that list their discoveries and offer tips. i minored in sociology and therefore have the confidence to declare that this is a perfect example of collectivism vs individualism. anywho, i was worried that the post-fnaf world would encourage this kind of design on a more widespread level again, which would just mean tabbing out into a guide every few minutes. well, youve gotta for a handful of the journal covers and menu styles (the game does a great job at pacing out the rewards while still maintaining reasonable expectations), but those are optional cosmetics, and their obscurity is par for the course. the effects (scuse me, the eidola) are pretty clear-cut too, i feel like yume nikki just kinda handed em out for random stuff (which is great for what its going for!) but i really like the spectacle and circumstance around em here. like, you find the rat one in a random dumpster somewhere, but the weather one is from communing with the gods

ill note now, there isn't the stock speed vehicle like in most fangames, you can just sprint whenever. this isnt a trivial change, and the game knows it. theres one puzzle that is built around needing to sprint with another effect active. personally, i like this change, but i understand why oldheads wouldnt. dont worry, i still take my time, its just nice to speed up a bit without having to sacrifice my cool eidola

unfortunately, the multiplayer aspect wasnt too lively. there were only a handful of other dreamers, and the ones that werent just afk in the nexus were off doing their own thing god-knows-where on the map. i think i ran into one other person organically, ever, and they just ran past me. i suppose this is an inevitability when you put strangers in a sandbox together... especially since most people (hundreds compared to our twenty-odd) were in yume 2kki, the MUCH larger sandbox. anyway, im gonna stop talking about meta stuff and get into what youre all here for: dream analysis. finally, a use for that stupid psyche degree.

oh real quick, the exception to the loneliness thing is expeditions, something built-in to YNO at large. you get exp if you go to a specific location in one of the games, so you can expect a lot of people there. once you get there, youre gonna see a bunch of people standing around the entrance facing the camera afk.

anyway, when i got the soulfire eidola, the obligatory weapon effect, i got some "donut steel" vibes. its kinda funny to jump from a kitchen knife to casting Demonic Flare: Pillar of Hellfire with a floating eye face vigil and arms made of flames. but then i simply got over myself and took this as a surface-level aspect of minnatsuki's personality. you can tell a lot from a protag by how they kill npcs. for example, sabitsuki has a gun, but only uses it for intimidation, leaving the act of killing to some old pipe she found; implying that she is pragmatic, and still sees the act of murder as something dirty and ill-fitting. meanwhile, urotsuki uses a chainsaw, a weapon infamous for being impractical against humans irl but pervasive in fiction due to the sheer cool factor; this tells us she glorifies killing, seeing it as something fun and badass. minnatsuki is similar to the latter, having a fantasy spell as their method, meaning that we can see a hint of escapist desire, to be empowered beyond mundane humanity in a way that equates to the ability to harm others.

other eidola, like her animal forms being a mouse (stereotypically skittish and shy) and a jellyfish (weak and passive, confined to water), and her instument of choice being the meek and obscure kalimba, paints the picture of a girl who feels desperately powerless. she doesnt want to lash out and kill others per se, her weapon is a bit too fantastical for that. she just wants to feel strong, and whats stronger than some arbitrary mythical abstraction of an element of destruction? and dont get me started on the umbra and spectral eidola, letting her fade into nothing or just be untethered to the world. theres something she wants to escape

another thing? very rarely are you given an eidola. with soulfire and umbra you have to actively avoid people trying to stop you from leaving with it. the ones that seem more permissive have caveats: you get rodentia in a back alley from someone hidden in a dumpster, you loot lumen off a corpse, spectral comes from a literal cult ritual, and climate makes you earn the blessings of three separate... gods? before youve earned the right to it. the only real exception is kaliba, because theyre like $20 on amazon. nah but seriously, maybe it represents being a heartfelt gift from a friend? or maybe its granted more readily because its recreational, and doesnt empower minnatsuki in the way weve talked about them desiring?

by the way, i dont think minnatsuki has a gender. not like in a kris deltarune "actively canonically nonbinary" way, but as an unimportant detail left up to interpretation. maybe theyre just a cis person who doesnt care and puts no stake in it as an aspect of their identity, or maybe they just feel alienated from the social concept of gender altogether? i prefer the last one, personally, for reasons ill get to later

that brings us to the eyes. there is so much eye imagery in minnatsuki's dreams. eyes on stalks that watch you, where trying to talk to them is useless. giant murals with a six-armed diety that has an eye on its palm. women in melancholy, whos faces lack eyes. a giant flower hidden in the dark that hides a single large eye. only being able to enter the house in rainstorm city that has the eye symbol next to it. perception plays a toll on minnatsuki, and i think it goes both ways. they feel observed in a burdensome way, and they feel incapable of 'seeing' on the same level as others. or maybe they see too much? is there an event she shouldnt have seen, or does she experience sight at a level above others, recognizing things others cant? the child and spectral eidola may be a wish fulfillment of the former, letting her see the unseen in a literal way, while also letting her overcome limitations that she has seen for herself with the latter

another thing about the design i wanna mention real quick is that so much is diagonal. this is something that the rpgmaker engine isn't built to really allow. like yeah, you can, and this game goes out of its way to make it non-obtrusive by having minnatsuki slide along walls sometimes, but it's not something the foundation was set in mind for. this also brings to mind the idea that minnatsuki doesn't fit in with others. it's not a disease like in .flow, it's not something that's detrimental to her in a literal way. it just causes friction with the world around her, because she doesn't feel as if it's built for how she is. she just doesnt quite fit with the world around her sometimes, the way she moves is just a bit off, like a direction-locked movement system trying to go diagonally

theres also a lot of thematic relevance to the idea of connection and ingroup membership. the game is named from the jungian ideal, a level of understanding inherent to the human mind where process instinct and achetype (the latter basically being our classification of others into pre-conscieved schema like "the wily trickster" and "the tyrant leader"). in addition, the game has a lot of togetherness imagery, with npcs sometimes travelling in packs or existing as hordes (the only exception i can think of are npcs that give you something like an eidola or menu theme, perhaps meaning isolation holds a deep importance), and things acting as notable points of interaction when they are isolated (note that the dungeon-relevant houses in gbc world are furthest from the village, for example). there's also a lot of totem poles, acting as the dream trigger and the centre of the nexus, signalling great importance. in first nation tradition, totem poles are created to honour the lineage of a clan (using designs that are unique to that clan), and send messages such as welcoming visitors and shaming wrong-doers (both of these uses involve establishing in-group membership).

i believe these themes combined, minnatsuki's dreams letting her feel powerful and connected, paint the picture of a person that is alone and powerless. minnatsuki doesnt have friends, and im not sure if she even has bullies. i have yet to meet a chaser in this game, so maybe that means that nobody even singles her out in a negative way? stares and weird looks, maybe, but only as a collective and not as a personal connection. this is corroborated by the school location, which minnatsuki's dream constructs as a tainted and evil place, half-formed from broken blueprints. she understands it as a flawed idea done poorly; implying that her disillusion is so severe she sees her isolation as an inseparable corruption of the entire system. so, she feels powerless to stop it, as well as alone and friendless

unfortunately, the game doesnt seem to have a proper ending yet. which is a shame, because most solid ynfg theories start with you working backwards from the ending. well, i supposed "social outcast that struggles with confidence and/or self-esteem" isnt a groundbreaking theory, but im still interested to see if this supported or jossed as the game gets more updates. also, i noticed while brushing this up that at some point i switched from they to she for minnatsuki, so i guess the audience has interpreted.

look i could ramble about this wonderful game all day. dont get me started about my thoughts on the event in uncanny world, the lonely girl in snowy shoal, and the random blond girl that can just show up in random places out of nowhere and that takes you one a scooter ride once you get to know her?

im gonna be playing this for a long, long time, and im gonna love every second of it

[the-soul-starved]

My very scattered very headcanony thoughts on why I enjoy the woodie Wortox dynamic so much. The quotes might not be exact but they are close enough to the original for now

————————

To me, it’s implied that Wortox got into the main part of the constant when he was young, through the gateway. The uncorrupted skin is always described as a 'fawn' ect so the main role model hes had growing up is Krampus, so he never quite got the all the social etiquette of being in a group, as well as i cant really see krampus as being the best parental figure in terms of morals.

So now hes in this big group, and has to learn what is appropriate and what isnt and its hard. Hes doing fairly well but his upbringing as well as being an interdimensional immortal imp means he just isnt as good at picking up social cues, or knowing what is or isnt appropriate in the moment (His quote for abigail being a pun ect) and now combine this with everyone else in camp, most off all havent really got the patience to deal with him, the way he speaks is confusing (salt lick quote- 'ive been told i dont make a lick of sense!) And his constant pranking and general silliness is easy getting on everyone's nerve. (there are a fair few exceptions, but even with Wickerbottom, who I'd expect to get on fairly well with him, there seems to be some tension (Quote- 'she needs to have some fun!'

Then there is Woodie. Woodie is incredibly laid back and, while he isn't soft, hes knows when he needs to be gentle vs when he needs to be tough. Hes one of the only ones who can kinda see Wortox and go 'woah that's an overexcited kid who needs to let off steam.' So they go out and chop trees and Woodie can show Wortox how to wittle and Wortox can show Woodie how to spar when hes a moose. I think Wortox is the kinda guy who will put 10 times the effort into getting out of a job instead of doing it and that will NOT work on Woodie. You are chopping those trees and chopping them now and while they are doing that, Wortox also bonds with Lucy (leading to his other quotes about her)

There are others Wortox does get along with like Wes and Willow, but i think thats more from them encouraging his tricks and pranks rather then genuinely making an effort to get to know him, they are still buddies but its a lot more surface level. Wickerbottom does make an effort but she doesn't quite understand that just telling him to get his ass in line is just not gonna work, so tensions start to fray a bit there. Woodie i think is bluntly spoken enough to get wortox to open up about a few things and they are also ungulate buddies. I also think that Wortox is an incredibly nervous creature, which tends to express as him seeming overexcited and silly, so having an incredibly stolid, stubborn guy like Woodie around helps with that as well. He longs for companionship but doesn't quite think he deserves it so he isolates himself from getting to invested but this funny moose guy wants some help gathering supplies so lets go help with that.

Overall the best way i can describe it is a rebellious young adult who everyone writes off as wild and a troublemaker and his one uncle who can actually see how troubled this guy is and so makes a genuine effort to understand and help that isnt just blindy encouraging his games

[blrbaileys]

minecraft movie thoughts n stuff

okay finally digested that movie time to ramble although i don't know how much i have to say! usual stuff applies, this isn't a thought out essay this is me rapid fire typing thoughts as i think them.

first, yes it was aimed at kids, kids might even enjoy it, but as someone else said, my dog enjoys eating shit i'd be an asshole if i fed it to her. kids deserve better movies! i don't think it should've been live action but thats like, it was live action and here we are.

a friend of mine said the movie felt like a funny moment compilation for a movie that didn't exist and i really couldn't agree with the sentiment more. the timeline of the movie is like a day even in a weird minecrafty world that not physically enough time for much development, we barely get to know the characters or the world.

also the isekai stuff is just annoying in general, why at the end of every story is it "oh we must go back to the real world" like, none of them were actively benefiting from that choice, the movie went out of its way to establish that most of them didn't have any real-world connections to go back to aside from each other who all could have stayed anyway!

the movie fundamentally doesn't want to take minecraft seriously to any degree, which means the weird tone changes when they need to have a serious moment like discussing the Dead Mother and presumably Absent Father (who isn't mentioned) giving everyone whiplash. the "beauty" of the Overworld is purely surface visuals, it isn't about the deeper aspects of creation, the stories something as open as Minecraft lets you tell, etc.

i appreciate the technoblade moment, glad that was done how it was, he'd hate the movie but damn would he love the clout.

it has funny moments, theres comedic value in the movie especially if you go in with like, lower-than-floor level expectations, i wouldn't say the movie itself is funny overall because its impossible not to notice how bad it is.

also it felt like they wanted what [arcane S2 spoilers] viktor and jayce had for garret and steve in that they wanted a weird undefined relationship between them but viktor jayce made it work because they became space and time gods together and just skipped dating altogether, steve and garret didn't have that. they should've stayed in the overworld together or something idk. i do still ship it though don't fight me i won't engage.

i had a fun cinema experience, i went with like 20 people, some close friends who are as invested in minecraft as me, we struggled our way through the whole thing, screamed about how bad it was in a pub after until we were the only people left in the pub.

but just, what was the plot they wanted, it feels like the whole movie was just "and then".

summary: movie didn't want to acknowledge the games true nature as a powerful media that has build incredible communities, it wanted to take the "creative game" and use it for laughs at the funny things people can make. 5/10 and thats probably only because i enjoyed the cinema experience and its so bad its laughable.

don't destroy your local theatre when steve says chicken jockey, for good minecraft tv content watch WHITEPINE by IvoryTV btw.

[boxheadpaint]

oh god when did i diary post last. Well as good a time as any

another year older today, though birthday festivities are actually taking place yesterday and tomorrow due to conflicting schedules and hannukah party stuff. spending this last week of DEMBER watching found footage / mockumentary horror and doing my best not to worry as much as usual to varying levels of success. still need to get refill on blood pressure meds because sleep is annoying again thanks.

joycon controller journey where in the end i grab those ergonomic ones which they only had the pokemon print ones in stock but theyre very nice. they make my switch wide and intimidating and it doesnt hurt to use which im not sure why i ever got used to that for normal joycons? I can take a few guesses though namely being yay videogames and being good at ignoring pain until its gone for a bit.

waiting back for exciting surgery news though knowing state health that wont be for a while! in the mean time just gonna look at fish and have a beautiful time. didnt actually super celebrate christmas this year, stayed home with partner. did have a gift from my mom (MICHEAL FATCAT VOLUME 2 LETS FUCKING GO. And a book on color combinations) for it and another for my birthday (immensely sexy natural illustration book) which was very nice and makes me happy. since she moved to mexico our schedules dont line up as well from timezones but the few calls we have had are nice. she got a puppy that made me cry over video from the smallness.

at this point i miss digital art enough that i am willin to brave the overheating and bluescreening of my surface again but maybe instead i could set up some stand made of welded paperclips or something so it can sit up and breathe again. Mom gave me her old one but its windows 11, then theres the yogas that doug has where one doesnt work with my pen and says ACTIVATE WINDOWS in the corner because it was probably some sensitive work thing while the other yoga has like. a mystery charger we have yet to find. we will likely try to downgrade moms from the windows 11 shit as best we can but god im not confident in it.

Every month i think i need to stop worrying about what people will think of my art, that their interpretations dont matter and i am doing what makes me happy and what keeps me interested. i also manage to forget this every month around the same time. i miss drawing very very quickly to make stupid funny pictures for people, its a lot better at conveying how i feel and think than trying to pull from my limited vocabulary. written words are basically just another kind of picture that are funny and dont make any sense in any order you say them and will never get across what you are trying to say.

okami HD was 5 dollars on the switch. its been a lot of fun to play through it again after all this time- when i was a kid i thought after orochi i beat the game and that whatever else was going on was a weirdly long postgame. i stopped at the VERY near end of act 2 because of the fucking blockhead warrior guy was impossible for me. i was trying to get footage of the weakpoints on a flipphone with my family behind me like mission control. now that im an adult man with reading comprehension and a smaller screen with a built in screencapture function im sure i will get just as mad as i did back then.

12/28/2024, I keep accidentally not hydrating enough day-to-day and i still need a shower. gonna go fuckin water mode

[elainsgirl]

Whats the weirdest argument against Elain or elriel you have heard?

I think this is oen of them (I cant believe its still here after all these years): Elain doesn't belong in the Night Court because CASSIAN THOUGHT she looked bad in an unflattering black dress when the IC had to make the famously beautiful elain unflattering so Eris would focus on Nesta. There's a very clear reason cassian said elain looked unflattering, so readers could understand what the IC was up to, manipulating Eris to their wishes. Which Elain was an important part of.

Never mind it's never once even implied you have to wear black in the Night court. Rhysands first and second, Mor and Amren, dont. But GA/EL have special rules for elain! Otherwise everyone knows she will most definitely jump the bones of her favorite bat boy and he will be very very VERY happy about that. We can't have that! Need her gone!

And it's so funny that it is because of one of the scenes where Elain chooses to work for the IC that they claim she doesn't belong there. Its so backwards and ANYTHING Elain does is disregarded in favor of the words of a male. But GA/EL are entirely focused on the males so I guess it's no surprise.

They have been too locked up in their bubbles, their ridiculous ideas have moved further and further from the books and then become so ingrained. Like a house of cards built on fanon. So fragile the tiny puff of wind from turning a page in one of the actual books is enough for it to crash.

GA/EL need Elain to leave the night Court because they know she can't be kept in the same place as azriel because everyone knows elriel is canon and Elain almost climbed azriel like a tree when they were alone, while Az worshipped her like a damned goddess. With Lulu sleeping upstairs. That must have been like reading pure horror for GA/EL. I guess it makes sense they are grasping at straws. But the straws they are grasping at are laughable.

Hey anon 🫶

The whole “elain looks bad in black” arguement is so hilariously funny. That scene was clearly set up to make elain look unflattering when compared to Nesta - but antis hate the theory because they don’t believe Elain is capable of doing anything complex. They don’t want to acknowledge that Elain Archeron - the very character they call weak and boring- can pull of such a plan. That or they want to stick her to the whole “she’s a feminine girl who likes to throw balls and gardens” and not let her grow outside of that image (idk if that makes sense). Elain - who grew up as a socialite- would obviously have been taught by their mother what colours are flattering on her, the dress shape and size that suits her, which makeup would go with which look etc. She would have known she looked “washed” out in black. She would have known the dress was unflattering. Not only that, she had the twins, feyre, Mor etc all to tell her she looked terrible but no one did. The scene of Elain in Hewn, her dress specifically was described exactly as void fabric which we met in acofas with Feyre and? Elain Archeron. Besides all of that: They’d rather take Cassian’s opinion seriously instead of Elains own words. Which is kind of the point when it comes to Elains character how no one rlly takes her seriously or looks past the surface which her antis including elucien stans do. They take her character surface level when it suits them.

I’ve come across such BS takes, from Elain being a cheater, someone who self h4rms, evil, manipulater to elriel being toxic, rebounds etc but if I had to choose one for Elain and one for Elriel:

Elain: Eluciens calling Elain a cheater. When they started yapping about this, it confirmed for me that eluciens do not love Elain. Im not making the bold statement that “all eluciens hate elain” - that would be mean and immature of me. However, I am in the firm camp elucien Stans like elain but love Lucien more which is why they’re always coming up with HCs where elain is the bad guy that will grovel for Lucien.

Elriel: That Elain and Azriel’s relationship is not important and can be concluded within a paragraph as the bonus already ended elriel. This has to be the most biased take. Just because YOU do not like elriels dynamic and dismiss their scenes as unimportant doesn’t mean everyone else does. There is literally a reason why Sjm had Feyre - her main character- stare at Elriel and wonder why they’re not mates. I have seen an anti today talk about how the foreshadowing/buildup in acowar/acofas isn’t as important as acosf. That alone tells you everything you need to know. Antis will use Sjms words when it suits them and dismiss her words when it doesn’t. Also - ACOSF, where we learn that Az has moved on from Mor, is staying at H.O.W bcs of how strong he feels for elain, Nesta realising Az likes Elain, Elriel literally left off on a charged glance, Azriel being incorporated into the prison plot which we know will go to Elain etc. I think its just becoming clear that antis are grasping at straws to justify shipping Gwynriel/Elucien and “debunking” elriel.

No author ends a couple in a bonus. Sjm does not end her couples’ the way she ended elriel. I think as time is growing closer and especially now that we have an idea at which time the announcement will come - antis are rlly scrambling to proves their ships but its just looking ridiculous. When you’ve created a bubble for yourself filled with people in the same camp as you that will believe anything, it’s easier to remain in the bubble.

Their bubble is going to pop when Sjm announces it is in fact Elains book next.

[urielsdaybreak]

Do you have any headcanons for the Bellringer?

Lots! I have a list of old headcanons for him, but I’ll write out a new one since it’s worth updating them.

Physical Structure

1. The yoke of the Bellringer is made out of wood - an unnatural and a magical kind produced from his hometown that he keeps secret. The wood itself is malleable and flexible, and it branches around his entire body - being his central nervous system more or less - and being covered by his brass platings. The wood is sensitive, so he often protects his yoke when in combat.

2. He can detach his head and still control his body which leads/has led to funny scenarios. He will punch you though if you try to attempt removing his head - he doesn’t like it. He can also control the movement of his bell (so a person can’t just spin it around out of the blue) using his yoke.

3. Healing Bell is the ability to focus one’s magical capacity (remember that the wood itself is magical, so that’s where that comes from) into one’s chassis and funnel that all through a bell and then release that magic with a chime me to heal cogs. He has to know the structures of the cogs he’s healing (even if just vague) or have the emotional will (moral or immoral) to heal someone - for example, if a close friend of his got hurt, even without knowing their structure, the stress and sorrow would be enough to substitute it. Healing Bell is not the only ability he can do, and there are many more such as Overcharging. (Yes, this means there are rules to the magic, as well.)

4. His combat style in boxing is being more agile rather than relying on the damage of his punch. He exhausts his opponents by constantly healing himself using his healing bell, before eventually knocking out his opponent and winning the round. This has led him to develop a higher pain tolerance which is why he can sustain explosions on the daily. Alongside his fitness, his 12 years in the resort carrying tons of luggage on the daily has most likely heightened his endurance.

5. HE DOES NOT EAT USING HIS CLACKER (though that is a very funny interpretation). He eats and drinks via the grey area of his neck where his yoke is attached to. There’s an aperture that opens up there, allowing him to throw and ingest said food or drink. He can only eat little by little or else he could clog up his digestive tract since it is quite narrow.

Personality - "Eyes and ears open at all times; I've probably heard it all."

1. I don’t think he is physically/literally tone-deaf (as referred by Jennifer’s interview notes of him). That’s meant more metaphorically that he is deaf in reading the room and continues blabbering on about his gossips or talking shit about other managers. This also leads me to think that he would have a nice friendship/rivalry with Graham as they don’t have regards to anyone other than themselves and Suits they care about, and they both also crave/love attention. They sing together in Dave’s shows sometimes, and other times they make a competition out of how many followers they can get on their social media account.

2. He is friendly, extremely charismatic, and a great conversationalist… on the surface. He certainly has a “mask” that he puts on all the time to maintain his image in order to trick Suits for his selfish motives or maintain surface-level relationships - personal or business. Underneath, he is a sly and manipulative suit that people-pleases and sweet talks his way into things he needs and wants. When he's in trouble, he does his best to comply if its for the betterment of his self-interests but that's not to say he can't be silly and not give a fuck at all (wrt to official comic with Plutocrat). Lying is a constant in his entire life which is why he makes such a great Sellbot. This also means he has severe trust issues. His nosiness ties into that aspect, but for the most part, he just loves hearing other people’s businesses because it gives him a sense of control over them.

3. Underneath the “mask”, he’s scarily perceptive that he knows things about other people that they might not. It’s possible he has stalked Suits before talking to them in order to find their sweet side, and/or his experiences in espionage has led him to deduce things easily and subsequently take advantage of people’s attributes. His chattiness can be an intended tactic to make conversations go side-tracked and steer it to how he wants it, and his conversation with the secretaries is to gather information on other employees. Despite this, he still upholds his strong value of being authentic to himself despite the ironic immoral actions he is committing. Why? Sure, he finds the life of lying second nature to him, but there is also a naivety within him that yearns for true connections and truthfulness to himself, and he is desperately trying to keep that part from drowning amidst the cruelty of Suitopia’s society.

4. Since Bellringer uses he/they pronouns, I always saw him expanding his gender and sexuality beyond his masculinity. He’d definitely love to go to drag shows, wear dresses, and get his nails done. Whether he’s potentially a trans-woman/trans-man/non-binary is an interesting aspect and that will depend on the reader’s interpretation. I personally think he is comfortable representing both as a man and a woman, which is the absolute gender I strive for. <3 I also believe he speaks out against toxic masculinity and, if given the opportunity, also supports feminism because it’s in his personality to be as authentic & comfortable as he wants to be, and anybody that opposes that will get a rightful talking to.

Backstory

Let’s start with what we know.

1. He was a bellboy for 12 years in Golden Rose Resort and we know that he did some of his own “business” while working there since Jennifer notes he has a lot of knowledge about Suits and C.O.G.S. Inc’s rival companies. It would not be too surprising if the reason why he chose to apply for C.O.G.S. Inc. is because he deduced that this would be the dominating company in the following years compared to rival companies. It’s no doubt he utilises his chattiness to make shady deals with high-end clients during his time as a bellboy, gain information about powerful people and the companies they work for, and blackmails some Suits for his own means or someone else’s.

On a lighter note, I think he picked up the ventriloquist hobby (wrt to ventriloquist Bellringer comic) during this time likely to entertain guests in the hotel either as part of the job or a means of getting extra money or tips for his service, or — having been doing espionage at this time — he could have learned it for a specific mission and simply happened to like it then picked it up even after being employed at C.O.G.S. Inc. Funny how he uses puppets that would be a clear metaphor to his control over other Suits, right? Nah, I’m simply looking too deep into this and he just does it to troll people, haha.

What about before that?

2. Espionage demands a lot of exercise, and that didn’t just come from nowhere. In his earlier years, I would imagine he had joined some underground boxing ring for money. Why didn’t he just do minimum wage jobs to survive? Firstly, he’s not going to spend his next 12 years in a fucking McCognalds. Secondly, he has his own personal issues in his past that he eventually found boxing as a healthy outlet for his emotions. Thirdly, he finds the thrill of a challenge exciting, especially one that brings him at death’s door. If you can heal your wounds with a ring, you’re bound to develop a twisted false mentality that you can survive anything, and soon enough that could become an addiction that is drunk in pride. Winning the boxing matches gives him the attention he wants, and it gives him the addicting thrill he desires. After being hired at the resort, he needed to feed that addiction of thrill, and so he would lead a life of espionage and continue his immoral ways.

It would also explain why he shirks doing his actual duties in C.O.G.S. Inc. and instead gets distracted because he doesn't really want to do the boring parts. He just wants the fun of being in other people’s business and the thrill of combat in the streets (he incredibly despises Toons. All the more reason to explode them!) Because of that, I don't blame him if he looks tired all the time if what his position demands is torture to him, lol.

3. With the amount of charisma he has, he most definitely had sexual and romantic relationships. Most of them were just fleeting, and some of the rarer healthier ones would almost convince him to quit his adventurous addiction, however those types of relationships - where he exposes his vulnerabilities - hurt the most, especially when they end because of his own faults. Benjamin has grown an infatuation for Brian in his current position, but he has no intention to confess due to his lingering fear of trust issues, putting someone he cares about in danger because of the consequences of his immoral actions, and the self-deprecating belief that he cannot fix himself to love someone else, not after all the lies, deceit, and misdeeds he has done.

4. Of course, there’s still the question of what the origins of his hometown are, especially with that deal with the magical properties of his chassis, his aforementioned personal issues in his past, and most importantly… what about his family? He surely has a family somewhere in United Cogdom, right? I’m telling you that, yes, he does have a family and, yes, his mysterious origins are something I know and I am sure you’re keen to know about. After all, a Suit like him is extraordinarily bizarre - from his personality down to the nature of his powers. He’s bound to pick those habits from somewhere, right? Unfortunately, well…

It’s rather rude to talk about someone who’s listening…

[sueheesblog]

I'm rewatching The Bear...... And Lord Syd really walked into fire the same day she started working at The Beef. T being a pain, the loud music, and Richie being loud like Mickey. I got some boring opinions. Let me rant n be delulu 😂🤣🤣😍

Richie saying that The Beef didn't have money problems until after Carmy showed up😬😬😱😱😱..... Knowing what I know about season 3, I see a pattern of Carmy trying to change things too fast, too soon. The Beef been running for 25 years, which means something was going right for it to last that long (we know some d.rugs money was involved lol). Richie confessed about selling from the back a few times lol.

Anyways, I say all of that to say, I think Syd was the only one who walked into Carmy's life with a plan. Carmy saw that n respected her for it. Everyone else was going with a flow that was no longer sustainable (this includes Claire). Yes, she and Carmy had a past, (well to be honest they don't even have a past. They never dated or hangout in HS) it's more like a fantasy. People grow n change..... n love interest can also change. I don't think Carmy like Claire the way he did bk then. It's life!

Carmy was happy he found someone who shared his passion, yes he wanted a business with Mikey..... but I honestly think Carmy wanted it for himself too. He's only wanted 2 things The Bear with his brother and Syd (yes, Syd). He was willing to make a complete stranger help him run his family business after 1 - 2 weeks of observing her. He made that decision with no outside influence (his family). HE WANTED SYDNEY and that want slowly turned into NEEDING HER. I'm not talking on a romantic level of want/need, but business wise she will always be his first option.

The romantic level, based on my opinion started flickering when the mere thought of her calmed him. Now, he's probably too naive to notice that he has developed romantic feelings for her and its pushing to the surface. The mere thought of her brought him peace and steady the tsunami in his mind. That is a leave of intimacy that is top tier. She touched him mentally. Carmy n Syd's conversation in the beginning of Season 2 are soo charged that they don't have to touch to sell the audience a romantic story. This is because their way of intimacy is through food, thats how they express themselves to each other. It's like talking about the menus n stuff is foreplay. It was also funny to see Carmy gave Syd the best orgasm of her life and then take it back. (This was when he said her braised short ribs was tremendous, and then decided to take it back). She like, no sir, we ain't doing that cause I'm still on cloud nine trying to come down. 😂🤣😂🤣

Carmy suspected this and he didn't want to entertained Claire (gave her the wrong number). Now, she's all tangled up in Carmy n Syd's weird mind fuck with food..... Syd feeling jealous is kinda vaild (hear me out). It's valid because all the time they spent together being mentally intimate through food...... those feelings were reciprocated. So, CARMY out here cheating on Syd.... giving all the focus she deserved and EARNED to Claire. Like, Syd should packed his shit up and put him out!

BUT, at the end of season 3 they stopped connecting through their food. It's like when married couple is so far apart that sex/intimacy longer plays a role in the relationship or it took the back burner. Days or weeks would pass and they wouldn't touch each other...... This is what Carmy n Syd are facing. Their relationship is so disconnected that intimacy is no longer on the table.

Let's see if they get a divorce or make up.

[crownedwithstars]

you know, i had a realization while browsing the elwing/lúthien/indis tags. tolkiens clear favoritism towards lúthien and her descendants makes the backlash against these characters so much clearer. the intense dislike aimed at lúthien’s line and even the sindar, seems to fuel a disproportionate amount of fëanorian apologia. there’s this obsessive grip on the “property rights” narrative around the silmarils, combined with an almost hostile rejection of elrond’s canonical preference for his sindarin heritage. i’ve read posts from some well-known finwëan/noldor/fëanorian-aligned blogs, and it’s clear there’s deep resentment toward lúthien’s legacy—and that admitting her claim towards the jewel only begrudgingly, as if she’s the exception. they twist both modern legal ideas and tolkien’s catholicism to argue that elwing was a “bad mother” (indis is often included in that). elwing abandoned her sons and its unfair she wasn’t punished because her descendants still became kings or whatever, or luthien enchanted celegorm. it's wild how much projection and jealousy seem wrapped up in the resentment that these women’s stories didn’t end how they wanted it to end. what’s striking is the fëanorians already have one of the most powerful “fall from grace” arcs i’ve ever read. but somehow that’s not enough. they have to be cast as tragic victims, too, as though their downfall wasn’t largely the result of their own pride and egos the size of ancalagon. this almost infantilizing portrayal of the fëanorians—treating them like impulsive, blameless children instead of the deeply flawed and prideful figures they are—undermines their narrative weight. add to that the ongoing misogynistic takes, often recycled from the same echo of biased posts, and it’s no wonder people walk away with a warped understanding of the actual text. oh god this was such a long ass post. i'm so sorry for it.

It's okay, thanks for your thoughts! But yeah, there's the actual Silm and then there's the one this type of fan wants it to be. Which ultimately misses all the nuance and depth of the story. Personally I think the "property rights" issue, on the surface level, is about the least interesting part of the story, although the way Tolkien resolves it is poetic justice. But I guess it's the one thing Fëanorians have going on for them, so maybe that's why people are so passionate about it? On the other hand you could argue any right they ever had was terminated the moment they replicated Morgoth's exact actions (i. e. murdering someone for their priceless property at Alqualondë). What's actually interesting about it and adds so much flavour to the story is their hubris and determination in pursuing this quest that was doomed before it even started. Fëanor and his sons Fell, they did all that and knowingly and willingly shed innocent blood and it was all in vain, and if you try to downplay that, then you diminish the gravity and tragedy of the whole story.

(Sidenote, is "property issues" kinda like what that post about war crimes being funny but SA is not talks about, because that it's something people in the Western anglophone countries can imagine happening to themselves?)

I mean, what's left of the story if you take away the hubris and the Fall? I think it would be something mediocre at best. The world is full of adventure stories about reclaiming lost treasure. Go read some of those if you want guys being Correct and Justified. But that book is not The Silmarillion.

It's also interesting that when you try to point any of this out, you easily get labelled "anti Fëanorian". Which I don't consider myself to be at all! Like you said, they're deeply flawed, complicated characters and I think their story is masterfully executed in the Silm. They're not my favourites, except for an occasional interest in Maedhros, but I don't hate them. Rather, say I'm anti fanon!Fëanorian and these convoluted readings where "they did nothing wrong".

Anyway, I'm rambling. But I too am very tired with this infantilization of Fëanorians and the shifting of blame to female characters who are, especially in the case of Lúthien or Elwing, unequivocally heroes trying to navigate traumatizing situations this group of men created with their monstrous pride and entitlement. If you don't like how their stories pan out or the fact that they are heroes of the legendarium, then maybe you don't like Tolkien that much! Just a thought. (Also the arguments about Tolkien favouring Lúthien's line - funny that a writer would want to show his protagonists as admirable and heroic.) I also find it kind of appalling how people will call Lúthien or Elwing boring, and then turn around and be like, poor Fëanor, look at how he was traumatized by adults and figures of power around him prioritizing their own agendas over his well-being - really it was their actions that drove to him to self-destruct. It's always someone else's fault, isn't it? Women are marginalized and made trivial by so much media and so many fantasy books inspired by Tolkien's works, and when you turn these important and heroic female characters into evil harpies so that a bad man can look better, you're not being smart or interesting. You're just disappointing.

Thank you for the ask! :)

[elegantsparklyllama]

Why we love Asha x Starboy

I just watched Wish, and it is because of the lack of meaningful character interaction in the movie. Aside from Asha and Magnifico, there are only so many characters to bounce off with Asha. There are 7 friends, but they're surface-level at best, with one line per character. The same goes for Sabino (Asha's grandfather), Asha's mom, and even the goat! Star in the final movie is a one-note "follow your dreams" character. There is no added dimension to these interactions, making the film feel hollow.

Giving the Star a humanoid appearance and a potential romance with Asha suddenly makes Wish more interesting. By making Star a human, writers are less likely to treat them like a random animal sidekick and more like a human character.

Meaningful character interactions give viewers something to cling to and relate to emotionally. The Disney Renaissance emphasizes romantic subplots and family conflicts for this reason. You can also find this when the main hero interacts with an animal sidekick. They provide the heart of a movie.

As a writer, I'm attracted to romance subplots because, like any relationship, they provide exciting character interactions and emotional investment. I'm beating a dead horse, but just because a princess has a romance arc doesn't mean she isn't empowered. Belle and Mulan are Disney princesses with love interests, yet they are still fully fleshed-out characters. Romance can also thematically enhance a story. Beauty and the Beast would not be the same without a romance between Belle and the Beast.

In the context of Wish, I think Asha already has an animal sidekick with the goat. She only needs one (they already have too many characters with the 7 teens). It is not that animal sidekicks couldn't be compelling characters. Mushu from Mulan is an example of creating entertaining animal sidekicks. He even has a character arc that complements Mulan, the main heroine. However, with Disney standards right now, you can't help but feel they might butcher the animal sidekicks.

Even the OG movie Snow White checks the mark for meaningful character interactions. It is not between the nameless prince and Snow White, but it is with the seven dwarves. Ironically this is where Asha's 7 friends are based off. The most important relationship of Snow White is literally in the title of her movie: Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. Unlike Wish, the reason why they can get away with 7 dwarfs is because the film is centered around the relationship between them and Snow White to avoid bloat.

It doesn't help that Asha and Magnifico themselves feel like bland cutouts. If you compare them to Disney's rosters of heroes and villains, they'd pale in comparison. They have the most interesting interactions but it feels like the bare minimum.

Whenever I look back on a movie, I remember a thought-provoking thematic beat or even a funny character interaction. Wish doesn't leave room for much. The movie feels like an amateur school play they show to grade-schoolers which is a low for Disney.

You know what's sadder?

I wish I could've had that meaningful character interaction with Asha and her grandfather, Sabino. They had something with Asha wanting to grant Sabino's wish but Sabino refused to let it be granted. In the movie, the conflict lasts for about a scene, and then it shifts to granting the wishes of everyone in Rosas.

You can see why the writers toyed with the idea of the Star Boy being a younger version of Sabino. The relationship between Sabino and Asha is the heart of the story.

This imaginary ship buried in concept art gave what the movie lacked: a heart. It is not enough to spew out inspirational messages and call people stars. One should also incorporate humanity.

I have a lot more thoughts on the story, specifically in its thematic beats but that is for another time.

[plumadot]

You got my brain going as are your anons. Ren and Doc get married for crime purposes, they didn't do it for love. They didn't expect to fall in love, but here they are. Falling for each other and falling rather hard and fast. But this wasn't the plan so for now they will keep it to themselves Doc falls for Ren because he's such a ray of sunshine, he's charming and very charismatic as well. And boy can he sing, the first time Doc hears Ren sing while Ren is doing a chore or cooking. Doc gets butterflies in his stomach. Even if he tries to deny it Ren is so caring, he works long hours and isn't getting enough sleep? Ren makes sure he goes to bed and gets enough sleep. He's not allowed to get stuck in a work loop and not come out and talk with their friends for to long either. And Doc might seem like a grump, but he feels so so cared for Ren falls for Doc when he gets to see a side most people don't. Doc is funny, smart and ambitious. But he also grounds Ren who can get wrapped up in dramatics of things. Doc is surpringly cuddly but only in private with Ren. Doc listens to him ramble about anything and everything. Ren knows his little hums and acknowledgement sounds means he's listening intently. Doc doesn't have to talk for Ren to get him. Watching Doc work is amazing to Ren, he's so so smart and makes such amazing things. They work so well together, and Ren can't deny the warmth he feels when Doc looks at him and smiles. There is something about this goat creeper hybrid that just makes his heart soar As much as Ren would love to tell everyone that he's in love with this man. He knows that Doc is a private man, and he's happy to just keep that between each other. Its much more special that way after all

gahhhhhhhhhhhh this entire ask reads as a beautiful love letter gfjdkjgkf <3 <3 <3

i think their entire dynamic is really casual but not at all like. surface-level because of it. things are just natural and easy!!!!!! they fit together and understand each other extremely well!!!!!!!! and it's fun!!!! they may still be a little shy but everything is fun together ;-; <3 <3 <3

idk what else to add to this aaaaaaaa what a lovely read thank you so much for the message!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[sapphireshineonao3]

Hello remember me?so I know the genshin impact Livestream just finished but I want to know your opinion about the new tribe, areas and most importantly IFA!!! What do you think about his design and such I think it suits him a lot but what do you think?

Hello! Apologies for the long wait, took me awhile to make time to watch the Livestream. As for my opinions… I LOVE IFA! I'm so happy we finally have an official model and the man is FINALLY appearing in the game! His English voice reminds me of a mix of Wriothesley and Anton (ZZZ).

His… design… I uh, I have opinions on. All good, just… I'm overanalyzing him way WAY too much.

Apologies in advance, but this ask will basically be an Ifa post I've been delaying ever since the trailer dropped.

But before I ramble about Ifa, I love the new areas and the tribe for the Collective of Plenty! I'm definitely pulling for Iansan (not Varesa though) and I'm looking forward to exploring it all! Even though I still have a lot of Natlan World Quests to catch up on, surface level exploration looks beautiful and I am excited! I like Varesa, the more I see her, I get Pinkie Pie vibes from her XD so definitely looking forward to how she's handled during the Tribal Chronicles.

Now… Ifa. The man I have been waiting for EVER SINCE 5.1. I am at 120+ wishes and counting and I just hope I have enough for him and Iansan. IFA… his design… there's so many details on it I nearly got a sensory overload looking at him, but … THE SCARS!

I know the scars are likely just due to occupational hazards because of how he wrangles big saurians, but I can't help but wonder if there's more to it than that. I've actually noticed something interesting in regards to his scars… Primarily the 3 fingered claw one of his right forearm. Beyond just the injury being on the same side as his scarred eye, none of the saurians were likely to have given it to him. The scar is too big to be from a saurian whelp and the adults don't generally attack with their upper claws. Not to mention only 3 of the saurians have 3 fingered claws, and none of their attack patterns involve scratching like the scar suggests. The only creature that could have reasonably given it to him (until proven otherwise) is a Rifthound.

On the other hand, the X shaped scar on his left eye is likely from a Qucusaur if not a Rifthound. What's cute is that Cacucu's eye patch is the same as Ifa’s scar, including the lil X design on it. There's also his asymmetrical design that includes a complete black arm bind around his right arm. Is it merely for protection from scratches and bites? Or perhaps to hide something from view?? The asymmetrical nature of his design is also fun contrast in comparison to Chasca’s design. The asymmetric coverings is actually mirrored, with Ifa’s right side more covered in comparison to Chasca, who's left side is more covered.

Also, we got confirmation he is ANEMO! Meaning I don't have to retcon his vision in my stories, so yay XD However, now I wonder what Ifa lost. Anemo inherently means “freedom” but the running trend of the Anemo wielders of losing someone or something close is strong. So that just begs the question as to what Ifa lost. The popular h/c is that Ifa lost a saurian companion, and people have also mentioned its probably from his occupation of all the saurians he couldn't save during his career.

There's also the fun when looking at Ifa’s tired expression, paired up with a closer look at his dialogue to Ororon in 5.1 (how most people just drift through life without a “true calling” or “purpose”), and Cacucu's line of “bad guy who's resigned all the time”... It gives a lot of fun speculation about what his full personality is like. It's funny since I got the initial impression that Ifa is more of a “go with the flow” or “rolls with the punches” type of person, and while that trait may be true, there's a lot more hiding under the surface and I cannot WAIT to see what is hidden inside his mind…

I have a few more thoughts and ideas, but that's for a different post. However, I am buzzing because my dream of making my Saurian Quartet team a reality is inching ever closer.

Thank you for the ask! I hope my answer was satisfactory ^^

[goamu-blog]

Want to say I wanted to like SJ and YQY as a ship, I tried to like them as a ship, I read fics and saw arts but it just didn't work for me because I can't get their canon selves out of my mind, which is a first for me when it comes to shipping. These are my thoughts on them and from talks I had in a fic comment section with the author.

Firstly, their innate personalities would not match well together in a romantic sense. YQY is much too passive in regards to SJ. Its because of their brotherly bonds that YQY is so passive towards SJ and would not make a good match for SJ.

It feels like YQY wouldn't be able to handle SJ. Especially SJ more conniving sides. YQY would tolerate but still disapprove of some of SJ's personality sides. The books show that SJ tried to reach out to YQY, but because of broken promises and their brotherly bonds, YQY always took on a passive stance and is not suited to be with SJ in a romantic sense.

There is no reciprocation in their acts. SJ tried to reach out many times, YQY does not, YQY never tried to reach out to SJ in any way that mattered, so they never had reciprocation.

Not saying YQY wouldn't have his own issues with his past, but YQY always cared more about keeping his secrets and wallowing in self-pity and guilt than he did about SJ. He is mainly responsible for SJ turning out the way he did. If YQY didn't want to tell SJ the truth, fine, but he should have told SJ the way he treated some of his disciples was unacceptable and not allowed it to continue. If YQY did the bare minimum, then SJ story wouldn't have turned out the way it did. YQY is a toxic enabler and wilfully ignorant.

He completely enabled SJ'sworst tendencies, which made SJ go down the route he did. YQY is willing to let SJ go and allow him to drown in his own loneliness, resentment, and despair. YQY would watch, allow it to continue, and do nothing.

YQY had to have an idea of what SJ went through and even then he told SJ to adjust himself for other when they were disciples, to try to get along with the other disciples when none of them tried to reach out to SJ and spread rumors about him. It was always SJ that was the problem and needed to conform to fit in, never anyone else.

YQY never openly defended SJ from all those rumors or anyone else in the sect. When others asked YQY why he treated SJ nicely and why he would want SJ memories to return when SY took over, all he did was vaguely smile.

YQY never tried to openly defend SJ or try to restore SJ memories. YQY, like everyone else, preferred SY over SJ. To me, YQY affection/trust for SJ seems a bit surface level, I think he mostly felt obligation and guilt. He also doubted SJ innocence when LQG died. It doesn't matter if YQY would have tried to help SJ, he still doubted SJ and believed SJ could do that.

YQY actions when it comes to SJ aren't proactive. They are always a belated reaction. Only asking/acting when it's the point of no return. In the water prison(he let SJ be taken there), he asked about LQG, and he asked if things would have been different if SJ treated LBH better (it was YQY that allowed SJ to treat LBH that way). SJ knew that it was pointless to question those things because it was already too late.

YQY only decided to act when SJ legs got torn off. When SJ was literally being torn apart, then YQY decided that was a good enough reason to act. When it was far too late and irrevocable damage had been done. Didn't forget about the red string.

Had a talk about that in a fic comment section and liked the authors thoughts on it, will quote them: "The red string thing is funny because it broke in the end, and if as everyone says, the bleeding in PIDW extra shows that their 'fate is broken so it must be the hint for their red string', then the red string broke because of LBH(og), then wouldn't it actually mean YQY and SJ's so-called 'red string' was meant to be broken, because SJ was (as og villain) destined to encounter LBH. If the og story as meant by Airplane-bro was supposed to be 'as it was fixed by Shen Yuan', then the so-called red string was not meant to last. It was meant to be broken, because YQY is ultimately a passer-by in SJ's life. Very influential presence, but a passer-by nonetheless. Comrades, brothers, each other's support in the toughest times of their lives even, but never romantic." : end quote.

In a relationship, YQY would not take initiative and would be spineless, never stand up to SJ. He would let SJ self-destruct, drown in resentment, and self-hatred. YQY is too passive in regards to SJ, and there is no reciprocation on YQY side. YQY wouldn't openly defend or speak up for SJ against others and their rumors. YQY would never act until irrevocable damage has already been done.

Even if they cleared up the misunderstanding between them, they still would not be suited for a romantic relationship because of their innate personalities. YQY would always be passive, and SJ needs someone more challenging and passionate and has a personality that can match his.

To me, them being together feels like settling. They would have a passionless/lukewarm relationship, neither of them would have fun in it or enhance their lives. I don't feel like there could be a romantic spark/chemistry between them. It feels like a tepid relationship.

I think the best relationship between SJ/YQY is a brotherly one. With SJ being a grumpy lil bro to YQY doting older bro. SJ telling YQY not to be reckless, YQY wanting SJ to have friends, being proud when SJ gets along with others.

So, yeah, those are my thoughts on SJ/YQY. Not trying to hate on that ship or anyone that ships them, and I hope it didn't come across that way.

This is the first time I had a strong no for a ship and not just a casual no, and I wanted to get my thoughts in ordering as to why.

Not that a reason is needed to not like a ship, but this one is different for me. Also, I'm a bit sad that SJ/YQY is the most popular Shen Jiu pairing when LBH is right there. BingJiu gets so much hate when SJ and LBH have inherent compatibility in their personalities that makes them a great match.

When developed properly, they(BingJiu) can have a beautiful relationship. As for YQY, read a fic that made me think YQY and LQG would be good for each other, and they are just a side pair in a BingJiu fic.

Want to be clear that I'm not hateing on SJ/YQY or anyone who ships them, apologies if it came across that way. These are just my opinions, and I'm a little disappointed that I don't like them as a ship. Because it feels like a ship I should have liked, but because of how my brain interpret them, I can't enjoy them as a ship.

Its disappointing because there are a lot of great fanworks for them that are out of my reach. Anyways, I'll stay in my Shen Jiu/Luo Binghe corner. Its small, but finding happy BingJiu fanworks is the best.

[spidermanifested]

as someone who likes to think hes thought a decent amount about the story of fullmetal alchemist. aka every single day for the past however many years. the thing about the bafflingly prevalent contingent of people who insist that fmas politics are actually very nuanced and leftist is. that i honestly cant figure out what parts of it they even mean?

is it the part where fascism is defeated by war criminal "heroes" who insist that the best way to enact large scale change is to never directly challenge systems, but to infiltrate them and work your way up to the top until you can become the dictator yourself and then tell everyone that actually voting is cool. unless the whole world is about to end, in which case youre allowed to do One coup but then you have to lie to the whole country about what happened and go back to doing incrementalism

is it the part where fascism isnt interrogated realistically as a cultivated product of social unrest, stratification and bigotry, but instead was instituted by a Cosmically Evil Badguy, and all the imperialism and genocide was just kind of a byproduct of that, and if we beat that one guy then everything will eventually be fine

the part where the difference between a Good King and a Bad King is that a good king CARES about his subjects and a bad king DOESNT care >:( but even within the "we need to turn amestris into a democracy!!!" lukewarmly liberal moral framework theres zero discussion of the fact that maybe monarchies are also pretty bad. and the good ending is when the Good King promises to protect the oppressed ethnic minorities in his country but god forbid those minorities actually have any political power themselves

is it the part where the most oppressed ethnic minority in *amestris* is represented by "Religious Terrorist (But Sad)", "Terrorist's Dead Brother", "System-Loving Cop", "Old Lady Who Shows Up Once To Say Not All White People", and "Literally Gandhi. Look At Him Hes Saying A Gandhi Quote"

is it the part where killing people is the worst thing you can do, but if you do mass murder to civilians on behalf of a government but feel really bad the whole time you can still be a good guy, but if you do any amount of killing for any other reason or while feeling an emotion other than sadness youre a borderline-irredeemable monster, unless youre barry the chopper in which case it was funny so its okay (< the only part here thats true)

is it the part where the main character gains the respect of a member of the aforementioned ethnic minority by being racist to him. the part where a black girl has to get scolded by a white girl to realize that stealing is wrong. the part where the only major character to refuse to take part in a genocide is constantly called a coward for doing so by his epic girlboss hypernationalist sister and this is never really challenged. the part where the Sad Religious Terrorist gets guilt tripped so hard about killing 2 people while he was having the worlds most understandable panic attack that he decides hes fine working together with the guys who killed his family, because the System Loving Cop is so heroic, for wanting to do incrementalism, which again, is inherently moral

like the more i think about it the less i get it. this is the most milquetoast "bad things are bad and good things are good" status quo loving political narrative for 15 year olds on earth. where is the super relevant social commentary. because it feels like its just incredibly surface level "the bad guy is like hitler so the author is antifascist and based!!!" 2014 harry potter fandom type nonsense and its REALLY weird that it always comes from people insisting that theyre just that much better at media analysis than all the haters?? and that any criticism must be missing the point. what point. what is the point

[stregoniconiconii]

maybe it's because i've been working on my own transfem stevie fic for ages now and so i have my own very specific headcanons, but going through the tag is truly . it's not the greatest experience. for me. there are surface level reasons for this and also far more insidious reasons.

like there is the matter of me not really shipping steddie or harringrove. this is surface level. i just don't like either of their characters and i find the fans of the ships and those characters annoying. this is life in fandom. it means that most of the time, if i want to read a fic about stevie, i must also suffer reading about eddie or billy, neither of whom i care about. again, such is life. it's fine. ship what you want.

but. but. i do not like how transfem stevie gets written a lot of the time either. whether it's in posts or fics. there's a lot of ideas ppl spout that they have not actually examined. many of which feature transphobia/transmisogyny. and i have to see them. and it sucks.

bc. like. why do so many ppl write stevie's bf du jour as gay. like this is often specified. eddie is a gay man who has just found out that his boyfriend wants to be a woman. wow how does eddie feel about that? i dont care. thats what a lot of fics are about tho. yay. eddie isn't even gay, its just a popular headcanon. altho some ppl believe in it so much they've convinced themselves there are hints of it in canon. there isn't. there are some ppl out there who do feel at odds with transfem stevie and eddie dating bc they believe so strongly in gay eddie. which is fine. eddie can be bi. or straight. i think a bi realisation is fun and i think its even more fun when the bi realisation happens in reverse to what is expected. but there are a number of works out there that still insist on eddie calling himself gay. when he has a trans wife. and i do not like that. it feels invalidating to stevie's identity as a trans woman. it's also. it's not about stevie. it's about how her boyfriend feels about his partner transitioning. most of the time.

i also do not like so many ppl feeling the need to explain why stevie and robin aren't dating in this au. like. there's a few reasons why so many of those posts rub me the wrong way. there's some that are obvious. i distinctly remember a post that posited a PANSEXUAL robin and stevie attempting to have casual sex. first off. there's zero need to specify a pansexual robin. it can just be regular old lesbian robin bc lesbians are attracted to women and. forgive me stating the obvious here but. trans women are women.

that's just one post. but there are MANY that state that robin and stevie do not and will never date bc it is "disgusting". that is often the word used. disgusting. it's meant to be funny perhaps? some joke about stevie and robin being sisters and incest is gross. okay. well they aren't sisters. personal headcanon time but i dont think they see themselves as siblings, canonverse or otherwise. i think they're just friends. and i dont like seeing all these posts saying that kissing, having sex with, or dating a trans woman is "disgusting". it upsets me. more than once ive seen robin being upset with/at?? stevie for being attractive to her and still somehow unavailable to her. bc ? she knows that she does some gross/embarrassing thing? they know each other too well? so they can obviously never date. which is. honestly it's just confusing. do you think couples dont know the other farts? that they don't know each other? but again the image invoked is that being with a trans woman would be gross or embarrassing. that's not a fun thing to hear about.

sometimes the reason given is that they've known each other too long. they spent so much time only thinking of each other as friends that it's weird to think about the other in a romantic light. okay that can happen. but again this is usually accompanied with robin being like. kinda mad at stevie for being hot as a woman. so she's attracted to her? but not bc she knows her gross habits too well. but maybe if she had met her now, and not before she transitioned, then they may have gotten together. so the fact that robin knew her as a man is putting her off dating her? wow. that has some implications. i've seen many reasons as to why stevie and robin can't date, except really the most important one: that they don't want to. they're happier just being friends. it never occurred to them to start dating each other bc they're happy with the way they're relationship is. but that rarely comes up. the fact that it would be gross comes up far more often.

you don't have to write about stevie and robin dating. or having sex. or being anything other than friends if you just want them to be friends. seeing this same idea repeated over and over again, that it would be gross for them to be together, just makes it feel like you are overcompensating. like maybe you do believe they could date and be very happy, which actually would be fine. it's a niche au and has very little to do with canon so i don't think it means that you secretly want stobin to date in canon. but honestly? the way ppl speak against stobin dating in this sort of au implies that they are still primarily thinking of canon steve. in a transfem stevie au. which i think colours the way they talk about stevie's relationships, not just with robin but also with other characters. i think they are thinking of canon steve pretending to be a trans woman. which is. well, do i need to say it?

i also can't believe i need to say this but ppl who want to ship a lesbian and a man together will just do that. they already don't care. why would they jump through those hoops of genderbending a male character when they could just write what they want to write? no one is stopping them. you can post whatever you want on ao3, for better or worse, and if you actually delved into the tag you would see that the way transfem (or even cisfem) stobin is written is very different from canon stobin. there are completely different kinks going on. it's as asinine as believing that men will dress up as women to attack women in bathrooms, imo. like. they don't need to do all that, they can just attack women in bathrooms. and they often do. that thought might be too harsh but i do believe it's the same sort of sentiment.

i think that's sort of the crux of my issue with a lot of transfem stevie content. the idea of canon steve is too forefront in her creation. she is a woman but still male enough to date a gay man and also still male enough to not date a lesbian. and it's not about her. it's not about stevie. it's upsetting. i don't like it. i think transfem stevie deserves better.